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seulszn · 2 months

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Listen I love TLOU and the fandom very much but a lot of people (not calling anybody out) need a reality check and need to grow up. I wanna say my two cents on things that bother me in this fandom.

1. Boycotting for Palestine

I have seen multiple times on multiple occasions where people would sit on their phone and complain about why writers are “flooding the tags with this boycotting bullshit” and honestly all I have to say is your super childish you can’t take a hour or a week out of your day to raise awareness on a important topic that is affecting millions of people? Your so horny so down bad for pixelated characters that you don’t care about the innocent children, women and men that are dying in Palestine? The boycotting isn’t gonna stop just because you want your needs filled, the boycotting isn’t going to stop because you think it needs to, it’s not gonna stop until Palestine is free. And if you wanna read things that bad then read nobody is stoping you but a take into ignition that if a writer is spreading awareness then don’t be ignorant and say stupid shit

2. Less Sex and more angst or other genres.

Listen I love Abby and Ellie just like everyone else and I read a lot of smut about them but does that all y’all see when y’all look at them? As sex objects? Like I’m not saying that you should stop writing smut for those characters but write other things to that don’t involve smut, like angst I see a lot of people under that tag say how they wish writers would as write other things that isn’t just smut and majority of the time when they say that they get hated for it. It lowkey gets boring reading fanfics where the whole plot is smut, smut, smut. And again I’m not saying to stop writing smut but please for the love of whatever you believe in write other genres.

3. Black inclusivity

As a black writer and a black person TLOU tag isn’t inclusive enough. I know you must be thinking “Why are we speaking about this again?” Because I’m honestly so tired of how uninclusive the fandom is like I said before Ellie dates WOC if you don’t know what WOC is it’s Women Of Color all of Ellie’s girlfriends where WOC now I’m not saying you can’t write for Ellie as a white person and I’m not saying that never did all I am saying is once again all of Ellie’s girlfriend where POC

Riley was a Black African American who Dated Ellie

Cat the girl who wasn’t mentioned alot but is in the game is Asian American who also dated Ellie

Dina is a Jewish (Mexican, Middle Eastern ) American who dated Ellie

Also yes we know when the reader is white coded so don’t try a put that you don’t mention when race mentioned cause you do and we can tell when you do “She’s Petite and cute with her long blonde hair” or whatever you bitches be saying we know when you guys aren’t inclusive the whole point of fanfiction writing is to be inclusive is to make sure that readers can see themself in your xreader so if your putting all these “white things and then labeling your story as “the readers race is not mentioned” or that OC stuff that y’all do then just label the story as a white reader or a OC reader

4. Futa, trans and masc

Now here I’m gonna discuss two or three things starting off with Futa and Trans. Now I don’t know when “Futa” or “Trans” Ellie and Abby came from but a lot of you readers need to understand and learn the difference between the two because they are both very different things.

Futanari: is the Japanese word for hermaphroditism, which is also used in a broader sense for androgyny. Beyond Japan, the term has come to be used to describe a commonly pornographic genre of eroge, manga, and anime, which includes characters that show primary sexual characteristics from both females and males. In today's language, it refers almost exclusively to characters who have an overall feminine body, but have both female and male primary genitalia (although a scrotum is not always present, while breasts, a penis, and a vulva are). The term is also often abbreviated as futa(s), which is also used as a generalized term for the works themselves.

Transgender (often shortened to trans) is someone whose gender identity differs from that typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth. Some transgender people who desire medical assistance to transition from one sex to another identify as transsexual. Transgender is also an umbrella term; in addition to including people whose gender identity is the opposite of their assigned sex (trans men and trans women), it may also include people who are non-binary or genderqueer. Other definitions of transgender also include people who belong to a third gender, or else conceptualize transgender people as a third gender. The term may also include cross-dressers or drag kings and drag queens in some contexts. The term transgender does not have a universally accepted definition, including among researchers.

Mind you I am not transgender I am nonbinary but I see a lot of transgender people speak up about how offensive it is to write a character as Transgender but it’s not really transgender but a Futanari remember a Futa is a character who is assigned a gender at birth but just has extra sexual parts like a penis.

Now another thing that bothers me is how y’all Masculinize Masc Lesbians as if they still aren’t women themselves like every time I read a fanfic with Ellie or Abby or even Vi and Sevika from Arcane you guys like to ignore they fact that they are also women themselves like it’s not gonna kill you to give those characters feminine compliments there shouldn’t be a reason why your calling these women “handsome” or other Masculine compliments and also a lot of Masculine women where makeup it’s not just a feminine woman thing. Masc Lesbians are women they aren’t men so stop treating them as if they are men and ignoring the fact that they are women

5. the Innocent childish reader gotta stop.

They title says enough I don’t think I need to say too much but a lot of y’all get innocent and corruption mixed up but a corruption kink is When you find the idea of "corrupting" someone, mostly in a sexual way, like taking virginities or introducing people to stuff like bdsm etc. It's the idea of having someone "pure" do "bad" things under your influence. And innocent is not corrupted or tainted with evil or unpleasant emotion; sinless; pure. not guilty of a particular crime; blameless. (From the dictionary)

Y’all need to understand yes not everyone knows what sex is but everyone knows what a vagina is what a penis is, what a orgasm is and what sex is but they may not knows what happens when you have sex so making the reader what y’all call innocent isn’t innocent it’s honestly to me perverted cause the only one who would say something like “my cunny feels weird 🥺” or that “what is sex 🥺” is a child. Children don’t know what sex is children don’t know what pleasure or orgasms is and when y’all say “the reader is a Bimbo” is also funny cause Bimbos know what sex is as well yes they may be stupid but they aren’t slow so before you make a innocent reader please think “am I making my reader act like a child or am I gonna make her really innocent like how regular grown ass adults act?” so don't get not knowing and "innocent" mixed up

6. The stories where they have sex inside a church also gotta stop

Now I’m not a Christian but these stories are honestly really bad and are Blasphemy a lot of people have come out and said that they don’t like the fact that people are writing stories about church in a sexual way like their shouldn’t be any reason why your characters are fucking inside a church, that’s like stomping on someone’s dead grave. You guys do shit like this and then wonder why Christian’s don’t like us. Religion isn’t something to be sexualized it’s not something to be playing with either this idc how much you hate Christianity you can be a Atheist, or Catholic or Jewish but please for the love of whatever you believe in don’t sexualize people’s religion.

That’s all I can think of at the moment if I think of more I’ll of course make a part two to this but don’t take anything I said here to heart it’s just my blunt honest opinion on things in this fandom and if I get hate for this 🤷🏾‍♀️

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ftmtftm · 3 months

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I've been scrolling through your blog, and I saw your post about discussing the racialized nature of gender. As someone who has several transmasc POC friends, and someone who's a nonbinary POC themself, I wanted to give my 2 cents.

It's important to understand that "woman" in the "man vs woman" gender binary is a colonialist, white supremacist construct, especially in Western countries where you are the numerical minority. My trans friends aren't on T, they haven't gotten top surgery, we are all quite young. But they all have numerous stories about being addressed as "sir" which brings them euphoria but as one person said, while we were making fun of the amount of white people in our club, "Due to my race and skin color, I get masculinized."

And again I'd like to emphasize, that since we're young, none of us really have medically transitioned due to financial and familial barriers. Their hair is long, our binders we definitely have notable chests, and even if they dress masculine, it's notable that no one in our communities would ever gender us properly. It's often white people calling them "sir." Again, I think this reflects how gender performances in mainstream queer communities are deeply White. Like, trans boys talk about having haircuts, but only one of my friends has that wavier, more manageable hair that will help them pass. When you've got curly/kinky hair, the standards are different. For a white person, what's the difference between a "girl" Afro and a boy "Afro"? White cis people have a harder time identifying us, and literally talk to any black girl, and they'll tell you about being mocked, dehumanized, and called "manly".

I don't have much else to say. These are just my personal experiences. But if you want to be an ally to POC in the queer community, this is why it's so fucking important to bring in colonialism/imperialism/white supremacy into discussions of queer liberation. My biggest gripe with ignorant white queers is when they ignore their white privilege, and act like "cishets" (AKA the patriarchal system regulating sexuality and gender) is the only enemy. Because cishet POC deal with plenty of shit with being infantilized, masculinized, feminized, seen as brutish & dangerous, the list goes on. Doberbutts had a post saying, "Believe me, your family's going to care more about me being black than my queerness." towards his white partners. Acknowledging and creating a framework that centers these intersections of queerness and race into your beliefs is true allyship. This is why if you're not anti-imperialist, anti-capitalist, ACAB...I do not think you care for queer liberation. None of us are free until all of us are free.

Please don't view this post as an attack. But this is my perspective, and I thought you'd be receptive to me sharing my lived experiences.

Oh I absolutely don't view this ask as an attack, and I really appreciate you bringing these things up because you're right! Like, just very plainly: You are right and your and your friends lived experiences are extremely important to the conversation on the racialized aspects of gender.

It gets me thinking about where Misogynoir and the social White Fear of Black manhood intersect for Black trans men in particular. Because Black women and Women of Color in general are masculinized by White gender standards and the ways in which Black trans masculine people are gendered in alignment with their identity is absolutely not always done with gender affirming intent. In fact, it's often actually done with racist intent or is fueled by racist bias when it's coming from White people or even from non-Black POC.

That's kind of restating things you've said but differently, it's just such a topic worth highlighting explicitly since it's extremely relevant to the conversation that's been happening about Male Privilege here the last few days.

I do think I know exactly what @doberbutts post you're talking about and yeah. It's just truth. It's something Black queer people have been talking about for ages in both theory and in pop culture (my mind immediately goes to Kevin Abstract and "American Boyfriend") where Black queer/trans identity is both materially different from (neutral) and is treated differently from (negative) White queer/trans identity in multitudes of ways and those differences are worth sharing and exploring and talking about.

Genuinely, thank you for sharing! I try really hard not to lead these kinds of conversations outside of explicitly referencing back to non-White theorists because I don't particularly feel like it's my place to do so, but I will always provide a platform for them because they're extremely important conversations to be had.

#asks #anon #racialized gender #male privilege #transandrophobia

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mysebacielblog · 2 months

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Ciel is Trans Theory

I Need to point this out because. I have a hunch that Ciel is Trans, and fingers crossed I’m right. Honestly, I could be completely off base and this could be as close as Ancient Aliens is to History.

This might be an overreach but here is my case for it, as best as I can:

* Based on previous events and Chapters, Yana has shown that She Likes Playing on the concept of Gender from the Very First Arc. From the Very beginning we are introduced to a woman who is Jack the Ripper, challenging the male murder stereotype on its head, and her lover, a gender ambiguous (Later Confirmed Canonically!!) Trans Reaper Lady. Both unite from their desire, and hatred for the prostitutes who beg for abortions at her clinic. There are Already wombs being ripped out of women and we’ve just started.

* The Fact that Ciel is Dressed extremely effeminately not only for the period, even for EGL clothing standards might point to something as well. But when forced to wear a dress for the sake of a mission, he loses his mind. Although it could be a tween’s worst nightmare, how Madame Red laments to Ciel when dressing him as a girl that she always wanted a daughter feels like something.

* Ciel is always referred to as beautiful, which is not wrong for the period, but there are less masculine terms that people refer to him as.

* Yana herself says that she Over Masculinizes Ciel. Which is an interesting take for his effeminate nature of dress Vs masculine personality?

* Another hot take is that Yana Specifically has instructed in certain live action and anime for the voice actor to be a woman. I’ve seen a lot of talk on this particular conversation but none highlighting this as a clue on our Ciel’s Identity??? How??

* Mey Rin is also have been hidden as a boy with her previous life as a sniper, so this also shows that this is not out of the question either. The same reveal has happened with Doll.

* Ciel does not let anyone get close to his body. This is obviously because traumatic stress behaviors, however, similar flinching could allude to a different reason entirely.

* Our Lad introduces himself as the “Earl Ciel Phantomhive” Earl almost being apart of his first name. He’s already changed his name to hide his past. But Why?

* Let’s pretend that Ciel was in fact, born a boy at birth. If his brother and parents died, even if he was considered a “Spare Child”, (remember the British Phrase an Heir and a Spare). He would still be a legitimate hier due to his brother being unable to claim inheritance (because of his death) and pass on something to him. Even if another family member became a guardian and inherited a majority to raise our ciel, he would still be entitled to Something, and (might) even become Earl. This would Not be the case if Ciel was born a girl.

* Two Cultural similarities Japanese Manga and the Victorian period have in common are the troupe of “women disguising themselves as men”. I put this in quotes because, as Ciel described it, “the old him died in his cage,” pointing to metaphorical metamorphosis, and not simply a disguise for convient’s sake. Although it was common for (transgender men, queer cis women and/or Cis women) to take on a male position / pseudonym in order to establish a title, or a job position (typically in writing, this continued until the 1960’s). Now add on the popular manga/anime that were important in playing with perceptions of gender during Black Butler’s Debut (think Ouran High school host club), and there’s something there.

* The Fact that no one mourned Ciel’s Death was unfortunate, but a critical plot point of the story. Up until now, no one even acknowledged Our Ciel had ever Existed. Not a name, not “twins” nothing. Even though our Lad was an ill child, no one had even acknowledged he was there to begin with. Women and children were rarely recognized in Victorian culture, let alone a “Woman Child”. This culture was challenged somewhat through literature in the early ‘30’s with works from Jane Austen, ‘47 with Charlotte Brontë (who went by a pseudonym) and Lewis Carol’s Alice and the Looking Glass at the end of the century. (introducing a Girl Protag!! Gracious!). As sad as it may be, no one would really mourn an terminally ill girl compared to her family’s murder, unless having accomplished something amazing. It would be seen unfortunately as a lifted burden, and ultimately one less dowery or added expense. The fact that no one even bothered to notice our Ciel’s death or even the toll it might have on his twin is evident enough.

* The most Damning evidence I have for this theory is Lizzy’s reaction to figuring out “Ciel” was not the real “Ciel”. The immediate turn against Ciel. Why wouldn’t she even hear him out? What could have possibly turned her away like that, without a doubt in her mind, even if she had met with the Real Ciel? The fact that her reaction was not confusion but rather an extreme turn against him, she did not even think one minute to give Our Ciel a chance. And the only possible reason (combined with the fact that he was lying about not being his brother) is that if he was Not Cis. Not only would that mean that she was with the sick weaker sibling not heir to the Phantomhive legacy, but Ciel Could never conceive a family with Elizabeth, nor marry her like she would have wanted. And even if she married him, they would never be able to have children of their own (a really big obsession with British Aristocracy- modern day source: royals). All of her dreams would be shattered. And that shattering would bring her to turn instantly.

* The fact that everyone automatically assumed our ciel was real ciel, just based on saying so. Why?

* The fact that sick girls were often dressed like male counterparts to strengthen them during this era, as well as androgynous clothing for children being in fashion (because of less washing headaches and hand-me-downs)

* A smaller, minor detail is how Sebastian says “When lies become truth”. This is pointing towards both their façades but an interesting quote none the less on transitioning.

* I’m pointing to his teeny shoes with the high heels. It’s not that they’re effeminate women’s shoes that are iffy for the period, (which let’s be clear, they are) but. Look at him. Trying his best to be tall adult man. I’m pointing at his shoes.

* I might be missing a lot. Tell me if I am.

Reasons For Why I Am Extremely Wrong:

*Tanaka and Vincent referring to Our Ciel with he/him pronouns, (although I’m not sure on the original Japanese translation on chapter 131)

#black butler analysis #black butler theories #slaps Ciel’s Head #this bad boy can fit so many queer coding #I’m not writing this because I’m nb #But I’m not Not saying I’m writing this because I’m nb #i wrote this at 2am #please be gentle #Pepe Silvia board

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cicadaknight · 9 months

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okay i have more (critical) barbie thoughts under the cut.

i really did enjoy it overall. it was fun, cheeky, surreal. i loved the experience of watching it in an energetic theater. i even cried a couple times. but i’m baffled at how powerful it was for so many people when it fell so flat for me. honestly, maybe what i’m feeling is just because i’m trans and it didn’t resonate as strongly with my experience of womanhood or masculinity.

i keep coming across people using gloria’s monologue to dismiss criticism by saying “anyone saying barbie isn’t feminist enough are doing the exact thing gloria pointed out! women have to be perfect but it’s just never good enough!” Y’ALL. having issues with a high-budget, corporate funded movie that has the same milquetoast girl-power messaging you’d find in teen mags from the early 2000s… is not the same as oppressing women under patriarchy. you can critique media and still resonate with aspects of it. good grief.

another response i’ve seen to critiques (specifically of gloria’s monologue) is that the movie’s messages are meant for barbie herself! not for the audience! it had to be super tame and generic because otherwise barbie wouldn’t have understood! all those speeches and ideas are aimed solely at barbie who is learning about all of this for the first time! it’s not for you if you already get it! what?????? that’s not how media works and you know it.

also, the idea that it’s meant to be palatable for a “wider audience” so it couldn’t have included intersectionality without losing people. translation: “wider audience” means white suburbia? white men? cishet people? where the most “representation” they can tolerate is a 3 second clip of a voiceless barbie in a wheelchair dancing? or a black president barbie who mostly says one liners and disappears? a wider audience being the same audience every blockbuster is catered towards?

i’m just spit balling here, but i don’t think it would have been impossible to introduce some unironic nuances like:

america’s latinx character experiencing sexism differently from stereotypical barbie?

maybe not using mount rushmore repeatedly to symbolize who’s in power?

avoiding comparing bringing patriarchy to barbieland to indigenous genocide?

a harsher perspective on mattel’s role in all this? where the outcome isn’t just will farrell’s character griping that he doesn’t even want to be in charge, he just wants to be tickled? (wtf was that lmao)

making a more obvious statement that patriarchy isn’t just a symptom of men stumbling across power and relishing it but that it’s rooted in violent white supremacy and capitalism? i’m positive there’s a way to address that without going full blown academic feminist theory mode.

having the black, fat, and disabled characters speak more than 5 collective minutes? (but at least they had screentime at all, right? ✨representation✨)

explicitly queer characters instead of “weird barbie” and allan being coded as the outsiders to an otherwise regimented cishet universe?

but all those ideas are irrelevant, right? because the movie was just SOOO self aware and layered in irony and if i was smart enough and hadn’t missed the point, i’d know the writers were in on it all.

#barbie spoilers #barbie #barbie criticism #h #okay one last vent #it’s wild to me that people are like ‘no one picks apart movies made by men like this! it’s because everyone hates women!’#creative work made by women is often more heavily scrutinized than work by men #so i think it's necessary to keep that idea of undue scrutiny in mind as we consume media #but at the same time it's not a reason to just avoid engaging with women's work critically #am i losing it?#i’m losing it #also specifically with movies like barbie #if they're going to very openly and specifically address patriarchy and misogyny to make a statement about them #would it not make sense that those themes would be at the front and center of criticism?

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gayhenrycreel · 2 months

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people on this site dont know what a terf is

trans exclusionary radical feminism is characterized by:

1, the belief that maleness is inherently linked to being a violent rapist, no better than an animal (or less than an animal)

2, women need to be protected from men (this comes directly from misogyny that claims women are defenseless)

3, since women are not men, and are often victims of men, women are inherently safe (the belief that women are not capable of violence is actually misogynistic in that it claims women have to be a certain way or they are not actually women, and that women just cant do the same things as men, but terfs wont admit that)

4, since maleness is savage, anyone with a penis is savage (very flawed logic but what else would you expect)

5, any closeness to maleness is savage, and as such trans men are savage, and just as violent as any other man.

6, trans women are deceptive, and trying to sneak into female spaces to abuse real women.

7, gender is biologically inherent, and it is impossible for someone to defy it.

8, however, it is possible to fail at gender, such as a woman being "too masculine", and therefore no longer a real woman. (ridiculous isnt it?)

that is what a terf is. not every transphobe is a terf. photomatt is not a terf. desantis is not a terf.

jkr is a terf.

it is a very particular set of beliefs, with protecting helpless women from the savage men at its core.

TIRFism is different, but very relevent and very present in trans spaces.

trans "inclusive" radical feminists are of the belief that trans people are exactly who they say they are, and therefore trans women need to be protected from savage trans men.

this is particularly dangerous because it easily manipulates trans people themselves.

ive seen both trans men and trans women fall victim to this ideology.

the trans men who speak up about it get called terfs, even when they show nothing but support for trans women.

trans women with this belief think that trans men gain something from being men. this is not true at all. trans men with this belief think the same, but also that if they personally haven't been oppressed for their gender, then no one has.

i gain nothing from being a man. it not really privilege if it can be revoked the instant someone knows im trans.

when its convenient, im a clueless little girl, manipulated by the discussion of transandrophobia. reeks of "women are helpless little creatures" doesn't it?

again, when its convenient, im a savage man and not safe to be around.

trans women experience the same thing, reversed.

in the eyes of cishetpatriarchy, trans men are weird dykes, and trans women are weird faggots.

our actual identity does not matter when it comes to oppression, what matters is how we are perceived by society.

if its convenient to call a gay man a dyke, cishetpatriarchy will do it.

anyone outside the binary is also subject to this. as long as its convenient, itll happen.

listen to the lived experiences of oppressed people. read transfem literature. read transmasc literature. read black literature. read indigenous literature. read intersectional literature. audiobooks count.

(side note, it was very intentional that i used the word "savage" to describe radfem attitudes towards masculinity. radical feminism often targets men of color particularly hard. its the same recycled rascism all over again. its the same language with a different lense)

#trans #transphobia #trans people can be transphobic #transmisogny #transandrophobia #transmasc #transfem

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nopointic · 1 year

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crying again out of happiness for megan because she's been through so much. so much. and i know i'm older than her by a few years but i look up to her. i really do. and i've been though shit myself and i always just quit my job after reporting the abuse, because every time i would report, a black woman in power would defend the black man i reported that did the abuse. and use their connections to the christian church to do it.

and i read that the parents of fucker that shot megan were in the court room screaming about the system being wicked and unjust because their son was convicted of shooting megan.

and i need y'all to understand that happens more often than you'd think. and people are so quick to say oh someone's mommy and daddy got them off and that's why white boys don't get in trouble for breaking the law, and i need y'all to know that ALL races do that.

i've seen it. i've cried with other girls who are not my race (i'm black) that have seen it with their own eyes.

it's a problem. too many nonwhite people keep saying it's not fair that their nonwhite sons are being punished for crimes because white people aren't. and that's not how ANYTHING should work.

i want ALL people who commit crimes against others to be held accountable for their actions. that include people with my own skin color. and it sickens me to my fucking CORE that i have to say that. that anyone has to say that.

it's heartbreaking being a black woman and hearing your community say well the white guy didn't get in trouble, so why should our black men get in trouble. they have it hard enough.

that is fucking sick on so many levels.

i pray every day for megan and all of us who have suffered abuse and harm from men in our own communities. i pray that we all heal and get justice one day.

and i pray for our journey towards healing be safe.

please stand up for black women. please stand up for women. this includes trans women because i know how y'all work on social media and i fucking REFUSE to leave out my girls who are like, girls. like i hate i have to add this at the end of posts i write because so many are like "ahh not those TRANS" and i'm like... you're a fucking idiot because i said women. and that included people who identify as women you fucking moron.

anyways thank you megan for not allowing the hate to get you down. and i hate that we've both wanted to die after being abused by men in our communities because our community chose to protect the abuser over believing us.

may the goddesses always protect you megan and may you find peace here on this earth now even though we don't know what we're up against especially as black women, and know you're so loved by so many of us. from the bottom of my heart, i am so proud of you and you give so many of us courage to keep speaking out, even through tears.

thank you. <3

#Megan Thee Stallion #black girl excellence #misogynoir #black lives matter #yes all women

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batbeato · 5 days

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I've talked briefly before about intersex Sayo, but... There's a lot you can read into regarding her relationship with her intersex status and with the perisex expectations she grows up with.

(This post reads Sayo using an intersex lens, as their experiences are analogous to real-life intersex people and can be seen as a metaphor for them, even if Sayo is never confirmed to have been born intersex.)

Sayo grows up with all sorts of expectations centered around the perisex 'AFAB' body: she will have a feminizing puberty, she will develop hips and feminine fat distribution, she will grow breasts, she will have periods, she will be capable of having children. But it goes beyond that - these are not only expectations Sayo has for herself, but expectations that society has for them, as well. People raised as girls are told that breasts and hips and fertility and vaginas will make them attractive to men, defines them as women, and makes them valuable - and thus the inverse is also the case: that without these things, they are not attractive to men, they are not women, and they are not valuable.

This equivalization of sex to gender means that Sayo, as they grow older and do not experience the perisex puberty promised to them, begins to feel unattractive, de-gendered, and worthless. This feeling only grows, and culminates in their self-definition as 'furniture', once they realize that they not only will never experience perisex puberty, but also will never be capable of reproducing. They say that "this body... isn't even capable of love" - "love" as is defined by the capacity to perform (heterosexual) sexual acts that can result in procreation. This can also indicate that Sayo wasn't physically capable of receiving vaginal penetrative sex. If Sayo was born perisex and AMAB (my personal preference), their vagina was surgically created. It may not be capable of pleasurable intercourse, or may not be able to fit a penis at all (or at least, without further procedures, such as dilation). If Sayo was born perisex and AFAB, their injuries and subsequent surgery may have resulted in a similar state for their vagina: one where vaginal penetration is painful or impossible.

(I personally believe Sayo to be AMAB, owing not only to the "man from 19 years ago" but also to Lion's status as the heir and more masculine-leaning presentation, something that would likely have been discouraged or looked down upon if Lion had been AFAB. I also lean towards it because of how AFAB Sayo/Lion has been used in the past to deny and discredit Sayo's trans identity and to enforce cishet norms onto Beatrice/Battler's and Will/Lion's relationships.)

Regardless of Sayo's assigned gender at birth, Sayo, both before and even moreso after the reveal of their past, felt unattractive, degendered, and desexed. In their attempts to claim identities that conformed to the allopericishet patriachy they grew up in, they lived their life as Shannon, Kanon, and Beatrice.

Shannon represents the ideal femininity: she has large breasts, she is submissive, and she is kind and emotionally mature. Beatrice's body, much like Shannon's is sexualized - blonde, blue eyes, large chest, all for the sake of feeling attractive - though she is allowed to express non-feminine behaviors so long as she is not made visible to anyone. Through Shannon and Beatrice, who are both imagined to be perisex ideals, the intersex Sayo is able to reclaim her sexuality, though fear of being sexless remains.

In EP2, Beatrice taunts Shannon with how animalistic the desires of men are - "the black-as-tar lust of that glasses man behind you", "men are flies and maggots that get caught in your scent and gather around you". I believe this is a combination of things: fear of sexual assault, as her mother and potentially grandmother were assaulted; shaming of her own sexuality and desire to be seen sexually; and an affirmation that she is, in fact, sexually desirable. Beatrice, in saying that Shannon is an object of sexual desire, no matter how negatively framed, is affirming that if Sayo presents as a cis perisex woman, she is able to become attractive. She is able to escape being the sexless, genderless 'thing' she feels that her intersex status makes her.

In contrast, Kanon, who is masculine, is not ideal: he does not have large muscles, he is not emotionally mature, and he is effeminate. He is a man, but he is also not one who would be valued in the patriarchal society due to his lack of 'proof' of manhood (in strength, in sexual conquest, in appearance, in partaking in toxic masculinity). He is the closest Sayo comes to acknowledging their status as intersex and gender non-conforming - as someone who does not neatly fit into the biological sex binary or the constructed cisgender binary. And he is the persona who does the "dirty work" that stained his soul long ago, the persona who takes no active action and instead denies Jessica's affection, the persona who does not present himself as a sexual being at all.

The most we have is when Kanon takes out his blade in front of Jessica in EP2: the innuendo there is that he is exposing his status as furniture - his (intersex) body, and (intersex) genitalia - to her. He is displayed as a heroic knight who protects Jessica, thus reinforcing his masculinity (men and the masculine as the protecting force for the frailer, feminine idols). Only in Sayo's fantasies can their intersex body "pass" and fit into the cissexual ideal.

So Sayo finds their sexuality in presenting as perisex: their 'true' intersex self, disabled and degendered and desexed, is hidden away and removed from the perfect Golden Land.

I believe many intersex people can resonate with Sayo's feelings: sometimes to be intersex is to be hypersexualized, to be seen as "having both". But to be intersex can also mean to be degendered, desexed, and othered. It can mean that you are not seen as, or do not feel like, someone capable of being an object of sexual or romantic desire. Our genitals and non-conforming sexual characteristics are "freak shows" that need to be "fixed" for us to be "normal" and to engage in heterosexual relationships, and those efforts to "fix" us may only increase those feelings of being degendered, desexed, and othered.

For me there is something that I deeply relate to in Sayo's perception of their (analogous to) intersex body, and in their attempts to present as perisex in order to "fix" what is "wrong". But in the end, even Kanon, the most unlovable, intersex persona of them all, is loved in the Golden Land.

#umineko #umineko no naku koro ni #umineko spoilers #yasuda sayo #sayo yasuda

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gin-juice-tonic · 1 year

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Hey Gin this might be a silly thing to ask, but how did you realize you were trans? Cause ever since I saw your trans Stan and Ford I think I had some sort of relivation, it started with just really enjoying the art you drew to me feeling some sort of envy. Either that I want to dress more masculine or that I actually want to be a man, cause honestly when I look at your trans stans I just feel so much gender envy (jealousy?) And on my last period I had a whole crying fit over it starting, which has never happened before. I just don't know if this is actually what I'm feeling or if it isn't. I've had thoughts of telling my mom and fearing the consequence. This is just all so new and I'm honestly scared. I figured I'd ask you since I look up to you and from what I've seen you are quite wise. I don't really know why I have so much self doubt and constantly flip flop over things. It's frustrating, I just wish I could be certain about something for once. Sorry about this, I'm a mess really.

It’s not silly to ask. My answer is unfortunately a little silly, because I’m a goober. I also typed A LOT so its all going under a read more

So, I was 16 and on tumblr even more than I am now, and I was (still am) friends with a trans woman who reblogged a post that was like “Just trans girl things: eating dark chocolate because it has substances similar to estrogen” and I went “Haha i guess I should stop eating it.” followed by “…why do I feel that way” and THAT was followed by quite the crisis.

Trans men weren’t as well known about back then, so I was like “Well, it means nothing, since only women can be trans”. And then I found out men could be trans too and that pushed my crisis further along. And I started to think. About how I liked when people defaulted to male pronouns for me on the internet, or how when i was a kid I would use a crazy amount of shampoo to make my hair look short and flatten my chest in front of the mirror and look at it. Things like that. And I got upset because “no i can’t be trans that’s impossible”. I would google things like “how do you know if you’re trans”, “quiz to see if you’re trans”, ect.

But the idea of being seen as a man was exciting. It was tantalizingly exciting. And I knew it could be possibility for me someday, and I knew that made a part of me happy and I couldn’t un-know it.

Final straw was a nonbinary person I had been following made a post about how they were going to start taking testosterone. And instead of feeling happy for them I just got mad and started sobbing to myself. Because I was so extremely jealous. So jealousy absolutely has its place in figuring things out.

You should think. Think about attaining the things you’re envious about. Does this make you happy? It’s okay if it’s upsetting or scary at the same time. Change often is. But if it makes you happy, excites you, gives you hope for the future, it’s worth thinking more about.

You don’t have to jump into telling your mom right away (and I wouldn’t really recommend it till you’re a little more sure of yourself). You can go at whatever pace you want to. I didn’t tell my mom (or anyone in my real life at all) till I was like, 20. And I’d known for 4 years at that point. You’ve sent me a tumblr message, so I’m assuming you’ve got an account here. I’d say asking your friends on this website to address you as male would be a good way to ease into things. And you can see if you like that or not.

For how you dress, again, you can ease into it. Personally it made me happy to dress in athletic clothing (especially tank tops- to show off my non existent guns), or to dress like a greaser (Though I preferred a black t shirt to a white one), or a golfer. None of those things particularly scream ‘man’ but they were man enough to me. You can find things man enough for you. If you want to try out a binder and think you can get one without anyone noticing, my first ever one was a Tri-top from Underworks. They’re like $30 or so. I was able to get away with buying it because I was a cosplay nerd so I just said it was for that.

If you’re the type of person who owns makeup- you could try to find some time alone just to have an experiment of mimicking drag king makeup, or makeup for cosplayers doing male characters. I did that once early on, and while it looked admittedly goofy, it made me ecstatic at the time.

Er sorry for things getting so long. But I just want to say lastly that self doubt is both normal and okay. And thinking far in the future (ie- things like coming out to people or hormones or anything like that) might scare you. But you can take things one step at a time if you want to. Play with just looking at clothes, making outfits on pinterest or whatever, imagining scenarios where people address you as male, thinking of names you might like. See what makes you happy, and expand on the things that do from there.

And regardless of what you discover, in the end you will have learned more about yourself. And that's always a good thing.

#long post #VERY LONG IM SORRY #ask stuff

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doberbutts · 1 year

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I mean this is a pretty hot take but I think until y'all can sit down and actually provide examples of what you mean by "privilege" instead of using the word as a means of referring to the nebulous idea that some people have it better and its Their Fault, there will continue to be absolutely braindead takes about who holds what privilege and how it conflicts with actual first-hand experience.

That's why, when I ask what male privilege I was apparently either born with or received immediately upon coming out, I get crickets.

When we talk about male privilege, we talk about getting paid more. We talk about getting hired more, and into higher-paying jobs more. We talk about being able to vote and drive and have credit cards and bank accounts. We talk about reproductive freedom and body autonomy. We talk about rape statistics, domestic violence, and other forms of violent crime. We talk about immigration and citizenship status and human trafficking. We talk about power dynamics in relationships. We talk about society's expectations for gender roles.

There's two big problems with this:

Unless a trans man is completely binary, fully stealth, and has burned every trace of his past, almost none of this is accessible to him. Trans men don't get paid more unless their gender marker is M, there's no mention of ever being anything but cisgender, and they're completely stealth. They don't get hired more, unless these things are true. Many lived lives being discouraged from chasing higher paying jobs such as STEM fields due to being seen as girls, so they're not going into these jobs more either. Similarly with voting- when I registered to vote I was non-passing, with my legal name and gender marker. To the voting office, I was a woman. To my credit card company, who has never seen my face, I'm *still* a woman, despite passing most of the time. To my bank account, which I've had since I was 8, I've never not been a woman. When I took my driver's test, I was treated as a woman.

When I asked for a hysterectomy at 20, I was told not until I was over 30, had a minimum of two children, or had a husband to sign off on it. Just like a woman. When I whacked my head as a kid and was rushed to the doctor, the doctor specifically said if I was a boy he wouldn't have bothered stitching but a girl can't have scars on her face *while he was stitching my forehead back together*. I had to fight to be allowed to cut my long hair. I had to fight to be allowed to take care of it by myself.

I have needed to leave relationships when I realized I was with a man that would hurt me for his gain. I've been assaulted by my peers for being a black woman or a black girl in a space that I was not wanted.

I was raised with the expectation that I would be a mother to a large family with a husband that kept me pregnant and likely staying at home like a typical tradwife. I was punished, physically, mentally, emotionally, socially for rejecting that life. I lost literally all my social group from before I came out. I lost a good chunk of family members too, and the ones I have left are... trying, but not perfect.

And:

Other marginalized men are also often denied access to these things either. White men might be paid more, but white women make more than men of any other race. White men might be hired more, but "Rachel" is more likely to get a call back than "Rafael". White men are more likely to be in a STEM position, but tell me when the last time you saw a Native doctor. It may have been *legal* for racially marginalized men to vote, but those who did not speak English had no ability to do so until 45 years *after* white women had the right to vote (and technically it took another 10 years for translations to actually be provided). Banks and credit companies and driver's tests and mortgage brokers and more are *known* to discriminate, between barely-legal remnants of redlining to outright illegal discrimination because they know they can get away with it.

Black and Native children are taken from their birth families and placed into foster care and adoptive homes daily due to state-sponsered genocide. It's more than just the mother that's affected by this. Black men are largely targeted by stop-and-frisk policing policies that exist to do nothing except harass and assault them for just existing in a place, and are an extreme body violation.

New studies show that men experience rape and domestic violence at roughly the equivilant rate as women, but reporting is obscenely low due to social pressures and rigid gendering of victim vs abuser policies. The demographic with the highest rate of murder victims is black men.

Single, childless adult men are not allowed to immigrate to multiple countries, including the US, on refugee status. Men of marginalized races- largely latine and asian- are trafficked by largescale construction companies and then deported or abandoned when no longer needed.

Disabled men are killed or abandoned regularly by their able-bodied partners who got tired of dealing with them.

I know more than one man who feels trapped into a place where he cannot, ever, show any emotion besides horny, hungry, or angry as a direct result of strict gender roles being pushed on him. I know more than one man who has tried to take his own life because of it.

I know more than one man who has succeeded.

And I gotta be honest the further I get in transition and the more I pass the more I think that being a man... also kinda sucks. Like it sucked when I was a woman. Doesn't really feel like it sucks less as a man. Seems to me like society treats both of these pretty poorly and I was told the grass was way greener on this side and it's, uh, not. Not really. Not when you start making cis male friends and start realizing that a lot of these guys had a lot of the same experiences you grew up being told was part of a woman's life.

And I'm not saying that these guys don't have interactions where life is better for them because they're men. Of course they do. That's patriarchy for you. But I do think it's difficult to have a "male privilege" argument when people try to argue on a 1-to-1 basis and it just straight up doesn't work like that.

And I know a lot of what I'm saying ties back to the theory of intersectionality, that this can't flatten nuance like this is directly tied to the fact that a white woman, a native woman, an asian woman, a black man, a latino man, and an arabic man, are all going to have WILDLY different experiences that you can't just "well you're [gender] so you don't experience [harm]" about because it's blatantly untrue. Especially if you continue to add marginalizations, like immigration status, religion, sexuality, transition, language, and more.

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andyinmiddleearth · 8 months

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Being non-binary has been such an isolating experience for me

For me, being non-binary is being haunted by my quinceañera picture hanging on the wall, because I know I will never be “her”

How can you be someone when that “girl” never really existed? “She” was just a camouflage, for THEY were trying to be the perfect Mexican “daughter” everyone wanted

But at the same time I know I will never be “him” either, no matter how hard I try… and I tried! I forced myself to identify as a trans man for years because I felt like that was the only way I could be valid

I use they/he pronouns is because gender is a performance and I would rather be seen as a man than as a woman, but also because I’m holding on as tight as I can to that “he,” because people find that pronoun set more palatable than just they/them

I’m definitely not “her” but I’m not 100% “him” either… I’m just me… and just being me has never been enough for anyone

Being non-binary is so isolating because so many few people actually see me for who I am, both strangers and close ones alike

To this day I have not explicitly told my family I am non-binary since coming out as a trans man to them was hard enough, and I’m exhausted

I don’t fit in with the girls, and even though I am masculine presenting I don’t really fit in with the boys either, so where do I fit in? Do I even fit in ANYWHERE?

If women are from Venus and men are from Mars then I’m a lone star in the vastness of space, far away from my galaxy full of other nonbinary stars

I want to scream into a black hole because I am in pain, but how can a star scream when it has no mouth?

At least I hope I’m not the only star stranded far away in the Delta quadrant

My only hope is to either go supernova or be rescued by Captain Janeway… but Kathryn my beloved won’t get here until the 24th century so I guess I have to be patient and wait

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manstrans · 9 months

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someone said on that post that trans men’s identities will be seen and respected by the majority

what world are these people living in

people are just outright denying transphobia exists as a whole at this point by acting like only one kind of trans people get it.

i guess any suicidal trans mascs need to man up and not make such a big deal. i guess any of us who went through that were deluding ourselves into thinking that society will reject us and that we may end up abandoned by families. all my family members were quick to get to call me a guy.

none of them ever accused me of saying anything perverted that I never said when I came out to my little cousin. or harassed me with my dead name. told me i was tied to my bones and when they dig me up in the future they would say i am a woman. that would just be mild discomfort though really if that did happen

getting harassed online, being called an ugly woman or a dyke or a deluded little girl (adults or not) all results in said mild discomfort. it is very easily brushed aside at the end of the day. it has no impact on mental health for people to say your top surgery scars make you look like frankenstein’s monster. people do not think a “beautiful woman” is being lost when trans mascs transition. because if people hate women, they would be totally fine with the idea of one “abandoning it”. instead of staying as pretty women that aren’t too much gnc. because a man doesn’t want to be with someone who looks like a lesbian

trans mascs never find struggle trying to get reproductive care because they are not being taken seriously. or ever had cases where doctors were late to diagnosing cancers due to this as well. because putting M down would mean anything to do with differing sex organs from cis men would not be ignored. that this is not the case for every trans person. that we do not have the issue in common of facing transphobia, and in this the shared experience of cissexism as well, in medical spheres

trans mascs never get misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder when psychs misgender us as woman and think us being trans is the “identity disturbance” symptom. this doesn’t get any resulting impact from ableism, as personality disorders then will get you branded as a doomed person by many psychs.

people never try to fear monger trans mascs into thinking tesosterone is going to turn you into a violent, angry brute. the show The L Word never perpetuated this idea to millions of mostly cis queer women watching.

Boys Don’t Cry isn’t based off a true story. No trans masculine person can ever be rape victims as well. Or if they were, the perpetuator would never bring up the person being trans masculine as a reason.

i never saw terfs talking about correctively raping trans mascs back into lesbians

homophobia is faced by both gay men and lesbians. if anyone said gay men never facehomophobia i would ask them if they actually learned our history. or only snippets

if told that is not the same, I think they should look up Lou Sullivan for the intersection of being trans masc and gay. ask some trans mascs stories about going into bath houses and what happened when accused of being women in there. that this never led to anxiety over a consensual sexual interaction in being accused of rape for “tricking” a gay man into having sex with a “straight woman”? the trans panic defense ever comes up as a known concern in these cases

alright yeah the sarcasm is evident here.

just how do they not realize that implying that trans mascs do not experience transphobia with this is the actual terminally online take? holy shit.

either that or they get to live in a more generally progressive city and not a white suburb in the US. while also being not white. btw you don’t have any reason to think any of these problems may be emphasized if you are brown or black.

any response to this about accusing us of biological essentialism is victim blaming. what is being described are the consequences of biological essentialism that we both endure. we cannot ignore its existence. I wish we could. but transphobes won’t let us. because we challenge the fact and show that it isn’t true

YEAH I just read through this and like. everything in it. people in these echo chambers think a few snappy lines outweigh our lived experiences but it doesn't work that way at all

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gotinterest · 5 months

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idk man. trans men/masc people should be allowed to express the fact theres specific kinds of transphobia to them. while the poster is clearly in the wrong, that doesnt mean transmisandry doesnt exist. the trans community really needs to stop with the infighting

Ok let me break this down because the entire reason why "transandrophobia" and "transmisandry" as terms came into being is because there are a lot of trans men who are very poorly versed on intersectionality, yet feel as though they know enough to create a new term for the discourse.

The terms "transandrophobia" and "transmisandry" were created as companion terms to "transmisogyny". The logic being, "well, trans women have unique experiences with transphobia so that's what transmisogny is. Likewise, trans men also have their own experiences with transphobia... so let's call that 'transandrophobia' or 'transmisandry'"

The problem is that transmisogyny is NOT "a unique form of transphobia that trans women face". Transmisogyny is a unique form of misogyny that trans women face as a result of being both trans and women (just as, for example, misogynoir describes the unique form of misogyny that black women face as a result of the intersection between their race and gender).

Misandry does not exist as a systemic force. Our society is set up in a way that benefits men as a gender, despite the fact that sometimes those benefits entail a form of masculinity that many men find constricting, it still materially and socially benefits them with more opportunities, higher paying jobs, more respect, etc.

Trans men may have unique experiences as being men who are also trans, but they are not oppressed for being men as terms like "transandrophobia" and "transmisandry" would suggest. In fact, a lot of trans men BENEFIT from being men, especially as they transition (with many trans men reporting that they were taken more seriously, felt they were more listened to, got better paying jobs, etc as they transitioned).

Men- even men who are oppressed along other axis- benefit from being men within their oppressed communities. Women of color have talked about this at length- even as men in their communities are oppressed for their race, they still benefit materially over the women in their racial group.

The same exact thing happens in the trans community. Trans men on average make more money than trans women. They face less violence than trans women. They are not the ones primarily targeted in the most virulent transphobia campaigns. The image of the trans predator is of the trans WOMAN in "your daughter's team, in the women's restroom, in the girl's locker rooms". Conservatives don't fearmonger about "our sons being exposed to trans men, being outcompeted by trans men, being assaulted by trans men". The only time I've ever seen a transphobe bring up trans men being a problem in a men's room was to bolster their point about why trans women don't belong in women's restrooms.

And all of this is still as trans men are undoubtedly being oppressed for being trans. Trans men face impediments to important medical services due to being trans- including services that trans women don't have to worry about (such as getting an abortion). We face housing and job discrimination. But we don't face those issues because we are men... we face them because we are trans. Those are examples of transphobia that trans men face and it is very important to talk about them... but they do not require a separate term. Our maleness is not the influencing factor, our transness is.

We could talk about the uniqueness of trans men being the only men who are capable of experiencing sexist discrimination. That's a unique experience to trans men that cis men don't really experience outside of very specific circumstances. But that also does not need a new term. It's literally just sexism and misogyny.

The thing that is the most frustrating about "transandrophobia" and "transmisandry" is that those terms are the products, themselves, of transmisogyny and infighting. I have again and again seen cases that are ACTUALLY TRANSMISOGYNY get relabeled as "transandrophobia" and twisted to make trans men the victims at the expense of trans women getting the chance to talk about their own issues (such as the high visibility of trans women- which makes them a target- getting presented as "everybody only talks about trans women and nobody says anything about trans men").

The most common thing I see get labelled as "transandrophobia" are trans women pointing out a trans man being misogynistic. Or merely trans women talking about transmisogyny instead of specifically setting aside time to talk about "trans men's problems" (which is the exact same rhetoric that MRAs use to talk about how "feminists don't care about male loneliness!" or "feminists don't talk about men's issues like biases towards mom's in custody battles!" etc etc).

I would absolutely LOVE to talk about trans guy stuff! Like I'd love it if us guys could talk about trans guy stuff. Too bad almost every trans man online community gets infested with guys who keep wanting to complain about trans women instead of like. Regular guy stuff like feelings of inadequacy with your partner due to cis-centric ideals of masculinity or like pros and cons of hysterectomy vs tubal ligation or like best places to get a pelvic exam or like better tdick jerk off technique. But noooooooooo.

#long post #long

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pansyboybloom · 3 months

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asking this off anon bc im going to try and sound as genuine and non-argumentative as possible because i just genuinely want to know your views and such, and im just trying to have an actual conversation about this instead of being a dick bc that helps nobody

in a reply to an ask you said that theres no "systemic" transmisandry/transandrophobia/etc- what would you call the specific act of trans men being denied reproductive care such as abortions/birth control/etc because of their "newfound maleness"? is that not a specific type of transphobia that only transgender men face?

another thing is that there have been black butches/trans men (@/doberbutts is someone who has been most vocal about it) who have expressed how differently theyve been treated when being seen as black women vs black men- im on mobile so its difficult for me to find rn but he had a post where there were dozens upon dozens of black folks sharing their stories about that experience. is that not an aspect of transandrophobia?

theres also the hyperinvisibility of trans men, the "little girls cutting off their breasts" rhetoric, jk rowlings entire terf wars essay which just misgenders and belittles autistic trans men, and thats just off the top of my head for things that specifically affect trans men

i see many people say that "transandrophobia is just transphobia" or "its just transphobia and misogyny" and it bothers me that instead of giving examples of targetted transphobia against trans men, a lot of folks who disagree with that will just say "well you saying that is transandrophobia!". which isnt an actual argument! so thats why i wanted to say something bc its not something i see brought up very often.

okay as i have said on every ask , i just like to establish first each time: i am schizoaffective and have a very hard time articulating myself, so i promise none of what i say is aggressive and if it comes off as so that is not my intent, my brains just fucked. im gonna break this down into chunks to hopefully make it easier to manage, as i can be uh. long winded haha. this got LONG so it's going under a cut!

so in a (non-mean! ) way i actually laughed at this one bc im dealing with this right now. i want to get my legal sex changed, but I've also been dealing with some down there stuff and a potential cyst and random bleeding despite like 5 years on t, so i need an ultrasound and repeated visits to a gyno. so, i need to use insurance, but if i change my sex, they won't cover it. and i have another, longer-term problem: i want bio kids, badly. but i also want phallo. to get phallo, i need to have lived legally as a male for a given number of years, but in getting pregnant, ill have to deal with much harder insurance problems with an M on my certificate. So, i understand that these are very, very real problems! However, medical malpractice and discrimination aren't a trans male-only issue.

Trans women also deal with medical things being denied to them. One particularly horrid example is cancer screenings. Trans women can get breast cancer and prostate cancer, but have a hard time getting screening, or even treatment, for one or the other (or both!) covered depending on what's on their birth certificate/legal sex. So, this is discrimination we absolutely share, just in different ways. That's why I would refer to it as medical transphobia as a whole.

Also, I would argue it is tied to misogyny, not 'misandery'. I think a lot of what trans men face is, as i call it, 'lingering' misogyny. Because we are still viewed as women by many, we are treated as such and are impacted by their sexism, like medical abuse and malpractice.

Now this isn't the same as transmisogyny. That particular term was coined by Julia Serano and means (this is a mouthful, get ready) "sexism [towards trans women] that arises out of a synergetic interaction between oppositional sexism [sexism that is rooted in the presumption that female and male are rigid, mutually exclusive, “opposite” sexes, each possessing a unique and non-overlapping set of attributes, aptitudes, abilities, and desires] and traditional sexism. It accounts for [...] why trans women face [a specific form] of sexualization and misogyny." basically, in layman's terms, a type of sexism that comes from the interaction between a very specific, binarist and essentialist form of transphobia and 'basic' misogyny.

(that's another reason why i dont like 'transmisandery/androphobia' as the 'opposite' or 'male form' of transmisogyny. transmisogyny doesn't mean misogyny trans women face. it is far more complex than that!)

this is something i won't speak much on, as I am white, so i feel my opinion isn't really appropriate to give. but it does remind me-- absolutely not saying it's the same, or to the same degree of severity, just reminds me-- of how I've been seen differently as a fat person. i am treated with vastly different versions of disgust, sexualization, expectation, aggression, etc as a fat man now than i did as a fat woman-- especially in getting treatment for anorexia and bulimia. but i feel like defining that as 'male-specific fatphobia' creates a binary that grossly oversimplifies the culture and systematic abuse that causes fatphobia. once again, not the same as anti-Blackness, not the same degree of abuse in any way shape, or form, especially since there is a lot of cultural and sociological context there that i am not privy to.

i have talked about most of these and the narrative of the delusional little girl before, and have a quote by Julia Serano (and two other trans men quoted inside it) that i really like, so I'll post some of that here.

The quote:

There is most certainly a connection between the values given between men and women in our culture, and the media's fascination with depicting trans women rather than trans men [...] Although the number of people transitioning in each direction is relatively equal these days, media coverage would have you believe there is a huge disparity in the populations of trans men and women. Jamison Green, a trans man who authored a 1994 report that led to the city of San Francisco's decision to extend its civil rights protections to include gender identity, once said this about the media coverage of that event: "Several times at the courthouse, when the press was doing interviews, I stood by and listened as reporters inquired who wrote the report. And when I was pointed out to them as the author, I could see them looking right through me, looking past me to find the man in a dress who must have wrote the report and who they would want to interview. More than once, a reporter asked me incredulously 'You wrote the report?' They assumed that because of my 'normal' appearance, that I wouldn't be newsworthy." Indeed. The media tend not to notice, or outright ignore, trans men because they are unable to sensationalize them the way they do trans women without bringing masculinity itself into question. And in a world where modern psychology was founded on the teaching that 'all little girls suffer from penis envy,' most people think striving for masculinity is a perfectly reasonable goal. Author and sex activist, Patrick Califia, who is a trans man, addresses this in his 1997 book 'Sex Changes: The Politics of Transgenderism'. "It seems the world is still more titillated by a man who wants to be a woman than it is by a woman who wants to become a man. The first is scandalous, the latter is taken for granted. This reflects the very different levels of privilege men and women have in our society. Of course, women would want to be men, the general attitude seems to be, and of course, they can't, and that's that." - Julia Serano (and quoted, Jamison Green and Patrick Califia) on the relationships between trans women and men's visibility in the media, as part of her essay, Skirt Chasers: Why the Media Depicts Trans Revolution in Lipstick and Heels, found in chapter 2 of her book, Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Feminism and the Scapegoating of Femininity (2nd. Edition)

The two posts:

in regards to that last quote: i think that comes down to why i don't believe the reason trans men are punished for 'becoming' men is because of hate for the masculinity they are becoming. a trans woman is punished for leaving behind manhood and treated with disgust for adopting femalehood because purposefully abandoning the ideal and powerful in society (men) to become the despised and weak in society (women) is 'unbelievably unnatural' and dangerous to the structure of society. the lamb eating the lion, the child killing the parent. not the same exactly, but i think it's a similar reason as to why feminine gay/gnc/etc men are called 'pansies' and 'sissies' and such, they are abandoning masculinity for femininity which is Disgusting and Wrong. Not the same obviously, but coming from the same general hierarchy.

trans men, on the other hand, are reaching for that 'ideal'. we are trying to leave behind the despised and weak, and that's so silly, so pathetic, you stupid little girl, you really think you can be the top in society? that's why radfems and similar 'feminists' say we are betraying our sex; they see it as leaving behind safety (women) for the enemy (men). to them, we are leaving them to rot in alone womanhood while we try to become the privileged ones stepping on their necks. this is also why the narrative surrounding trans women is predatory and sexual-- women only have power through sex, so a man would only want to leave manhood for sexual gratification-- while the narrative for us is that we are pathetic and tricked. women are stupid and delusional if they believe they could ever leave behind our oppression for privilege, so obviously it must be outside influence to give us such ridiculous ideas.

and

and like, building on top of last post: that's why i don't see me being discriminated against as a trans man as something uniquely tied to anti-maleness / misandery/ androphobia / etc, but instead, just a facet of transphobia and misogyny (as well as ableism and such for me personally, but im talking bigger picture). I'm seen as a ruined woman because i betrayed gender roles. to them, im not transitioning because i am, ya know, actually a man, instead, i'm purposefully clawing my way out of the pit and hightailing it to the top, which is threatening. society doesn't like when women (trans men) are suddenly trying to be a class that is protected and privileged. im not transitioning to get access to privilege, but that's what it looks like to a transphobe, be them conservative man or radfem. im scary because im rocking the boat, not because im masculine, and they hate me because im showing their binary and hierarchy are false, not because im masculine. im stupid and delusional and a failure and a silly little girl and a bamboozled idiot tricked by trans women as well as a ruined woman and a rotten woman because of misogynistic binary power structures, not because im a dude. ya know? anyways, what holds me back is the gender binarist, cissexist, transphobic, and misogynistic stew that affects all trans people, just differently on a systemic and individual level

like i said earlier, a lot of my beliefs boil down to, we are seen as women and therefore face 'lingering' misogyny, which combines with the sex binary, sex essentialism, and cissexism-- which make up transphobia, in my personal definition of it-- to describe our experiences. not as anything having to do with being male, simply not being female, shattering the notion of what a woman can and should be, and leaving behind a broken hierarchy along with deviant, rotten women who must be punished.

as for the autistic manifesto jkr went on, i know of it but have never read the whole thing and, frankly, as someone who is avoiding college hw right now by doing this, i really don't have the time to. im open to reading it in the future and contacting you to share my thoughts if you'd like? no pressure!

(also, seasonal depression is kicking my butt and im not sure if doing so would be great for my mental health at the moment. reading 'the transgender craze seducing our daughters' almost broke me lol. like i said, ill read it if i can and get back to you. don't want to speak on it if i haven't read it, ya know?)

Anyways, I hope this helped some? I did my best haha. if you have any other questions, PLEASE don't hesitate to ask

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void-thegod · 15 days

Text

Trans Men are Men: Parallels in Gender

Oppression is everywhere.

Western Culture's cis-het norms oppress everyone. Not equally. Not in the same ways. But everyone is affected negatively. Whether they believe themselves to be so or not.

Cis-het able bodied men are held to the standards of their culture. This often results in toxic masculinity, misogyny, suppression of emotions, etc.

Whether you're white, black, indigenous, etc - you experience this oppression in different ways.

Once again if you're queer. Again if you're neurodivergent. Again if you're ... you get the picture.

In America, there is a consumerist culture. It's hyper-individualistic, while at the same time being hostile to outsiders. Despite the history of revolution, America is still a country very much divided about ideals that it shouldn't be.

Class, sex, race, gender, disability, and so forth. People know they're shaped by a sick world. That they end up sick -- traumatized -- because of it.

It presents differently depending on what you are.

We all know these things. How people are held to capitalistic and cis-het normative standards. All sorts of standards anyone could name.

I was going to go for a comparative analysis. But it seems like beating a dead horse.

When you hold anyone - an individual, a demographic - to a standard that doesn't suit their constitution you have a BAD TIME. Period.

Make a man be more macho or he suffers public humiliation. Force a woman to be more feminine. If you present masculine, you should act like a man. If you look smart you should be smart. If you're pretty, you should be a whore. So on and so forth.

All sorts of things that we should be far beyond. And people do all of these things to each other.

To trans men.

I can speak to my experience:

At first I was a tomboy. I just knew I wasn't like other girls. I didn't like girly things. Not really. But I didn't think of the other mannerisms boys and girls had too much. I noticed those things more latter on.

But when I presented masculinely as a lesbian? I was expected to "perform the role". I couldn't and shouldn't be feminine.

And as a trans man? If I seek companionship with women they uphold me to cis-het normative standards, more often than not. Men generally treat me as if I'm not really a guy or they want to see me more femininely than I am.

Any traits I have -- masculine or feminine -- are seen differently by everyone. I have a rather deep voice. Some people may think I'm forcing it. It just comes out that way, though. Especially when I'm relaxed.

If you're conventionally attractive that is a double edged sword. I'm gawked at. People like the idea of me and then realize I'm a Freak with a capital F. For being trans. For being autistic and Weird(TM). For having cptsd, anxiety. For being honest with myself about my flaws.

If you're good looking people may think many things:

you're a whore

you're an attention whore

you're dumb

you're confident

you're an extrovert

Same if you show signs of intelligence. Different people interpret that differently based on what and who you are. Are you poor and happen to be intelligent? Different reaction than if you were raised with a silver spoon.

Different reaction to intelligence, beauty, and capability if you're brown.

What if you're disabled but still able to be independent?

What if you're have Weird(TM) special interests?

So forth.

Obvious stuff. But all these things have a cumulative affect on how one's perceived. Any action, any trait, any mannerism -- it will be viewed through a different lens.

Many times people think they know who you are just based on these things.

You could say if you knew a person's history, what they've been through, what they are, etc Maybe, maybe then you would know that person.

But do you?

We all know how complex and simple people can be. How even one person can be.

Yet... We're here in 2024 holding trans men and everyone to standards no one even wants.

Why?

#trans men #trans masc #transandrophobia #transmisandry

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