1. resident evil 8 was such a missed opportunity to do like. idk. anything. im not sure if i necessarily agree with people saying that it was nothing more than a tech demo for re4make, but i definitely see where they're coming from. the factory is a slog, moreau's swamp sucks. house beneviento is by far the scariest part of the entire game and the atmosphere is incredible, but it is CRIMINALLY short. castle d is gorgeous, but lady d herself falls flat as a nemesis / mr x type of enemy. i also just? dont like the writing in re8 at all. the characters are written strangely. i dont know how to put it into words. ethan feels weird. chris feels weird. mia feels weird and was tossed to the side and went from who she was in re7 to like an anime mom. this one is very petty but the fanbase for re8 is annoying as SHIT also. most re fans are irritating but re8 fans are something ELSE. the best thing about re8 is how it looks
2. this very quickly turned from unpopular opinions to Lilith's Hater Hour and im not sure how to word this either but a part of me hates how popular aw2 got. like a big part of me LOVES that, i feel like alan wake has always been underrated and ive loved it for years, its one of my favorite games ever, and im so happy to see it get recognition!! but predictably most of the fanbase has latched onto casey and zane/darling while completely ignoring saga as a character. its a bit annoying </3
3. i do not understand the hype around star wars, or why it got so popular. sorry to my mutuals for saying this on twitter like 3 times in the last 2 weeks and then again here FJFGHJH but i dont get it! i like the prequels, i like the sequels, i like rogue one, i like kotor (havent played either of them but i enjoy them nonetheless), i liked kenobi (pointing obi wan fan) i havent watched andor yet but i know i'll enjoy it. but most of star wars as a whole i just dont think its that. good? like. dont get me wrong when its done well its enjoyable!! but there are better sci fi serieses out there by far. star wars feels like lucasfilms throwing shit at the wall because it looks cool but has little sustenance. i will NOT start on my star trek vs star wars bullshit again because its INCREDIBLY biased LOL
4. i hate fallout 3. i hate traversing it. i hate playing it. i hate how it looks. i dont like the characters. i dont like the story. i dont like the writing. i like fallout 4 more than i like fallout 3, because 4 is at least enjoyable to play and lose myself in, even if the writing is arguably worse. when i first played fallout 3 i kept thinking to myself like. this is it? because for years all i heard was how good it was. and it just isnt LOL
5. i hate alien 3 also. i have not seen it and i do not plan on watching it because i KNOW it will make me angry. i am a BIG hater of shit thats just needlessly pessimistic / depressing / nihilistic simply for the sake of it, and from everything i've read of alien 3, thats exactly how it comes across to me. im sure if i WATCHED it i could more coherently explain why i dislike it, but im so attached to the dynamic that ripley, hicks and newt have that seeing it get thrown away immediately in the start of alien 3 would make me pass away badly
HELP. i didn't mean to ramble this much omg JJFDGJKFDGH i dont think most of this is very well written im sorry it's all very word vomit. i have had a little bit to drink and im feeling very haterish tonight. something in the air. thank you for indulging me <333
Morbius hears rumors of a miraculous fungus called the Megamycete that can bestow incredible regenerative properties and goes to Europe to investigate if it can cure his blood condition. In doing so, he encounters Lady Dimitrescu, who recognizes the blood condition the lowly "manthing" describes as being identical to her own. In response to his queries, she boasts that the Megamycete has instead "evolved" her condition, turning her into an immortal creature of the night who has completely transcended humanity. And, as Morbius is a lowly manthing unaffiliated with Mother Miranda's court, he has no right to know about the Megamycete and continue living.
Analysis: Morbius
Vampires. Unholy creatures of the night with an unquenchable thirst for blood. A dark form of immortality thought to only be attainable by dark magic or demonic powers. But, some vampires have managed to become predators, not from a lethal bite or a dark curse, but through nothing but the power of science.
Dr. Michael Morbius was a scientific genius and nobel prize winner born with a degenerative blood disease which confined him to crutches his entire life. Chafing under the weight of his condition, Morbius dedicated his life to attempting to cure himself, ultimately coming across the idea to combine bat blood and human blood to treat his condition.
The results backfired spectacularly, transforming Morbius into a literally blood thirsty monster who desperately needed to drink blood to survive. While his artificial blood could hold him off for awhile, it wasn't fully working and he desperately needed to drink more and more of it. Only the human stuff would clench his thrist and, with a drop of it, he could finally reach his full potential.
While the whole "murderous creature of darkness" thing definitely sucked (ayyyyy), it did come with a few neat perks. Morbius could now fly fast enough to keep up with speeding trains, command bats to swarm his foes, hear things happening miles away and use echolocation, and even move fast enougg to dodge bullets at near point blank range, moving at mach 1.43 to do so.
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Not to mention, his vampiric body has a few new perks, allowing him to sprout razor sharp claws and teeth, regenerate from being stabbed in the neck, and survive getting smashed through the ground with a force equivalent to nearly 2 tons of TNT.
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No matter what you think of his movie, there is no denying that Morbius himself is a deadly superhuman, easily capable of killing you a morbillion times over.
Analysis: Lady Dimitrescu
Deep within the snowy mountains of Europe, there exists a small, rural village. This village is ruled over by Four Lords, the chosen lieutenants of the benevolent and wise Mother Miranda. There is the mechanical genius Heisenberg, blessed with the gift magnetic telekinesis, the hideous Moreau, simple and bestial in nature, and the quiet and mysterious Beneviento, a childish recluse with ghostly powers. Yet, none of the lords were as feared or as cruel as the fair Lady Alcina Dimitrescu.
Once a royal maiden born before the Great War, Lady D was little more than the lead singer of the jazz band Miss D and the Pallboys, before she was taken in by Mother Miranda. Seeking to find a way to resurrect her dead daughter, Miranda exposed Dimitrescu to the Megamycete fungus, transforming her into a gigantic superhuman Bio Organic Weapon.
Now standing at a whooping nine foot tall, Alcina was blessed with extraordinary superhuman strength, regeneration, halted aging, and superhuman strength. Her foot long claws and cut through a man like butter and she can regenerate direct head shots with ease. She seemed nearly the perfect candidate to resurrect Miranda's daughter with... except for one small thing. Lady Dimitrescu was born with a blood condition that was mutated by the Megamycete as well, giving her a constant need to feed on blood. While Miss D was perfectly happy to live off the blood of others, this need mitigated her use as a test subject, so Miranda had her merely serve as her lieutenant instead.
Still, Alcina stands tall as one of Mother Miranda's most powerful creations. Compare her to another Bioweapon created with Mother Miranda's research, E-001, or Eveline. Eveline could not only destroy a massive ship but also could cause earthquakes across the Baker property, even affecting some nearby caves. As the Earthquake could be felt by everyone in the vicinity and noticeably shaked the caves, this would have to be a magnitude 5 Earthquake, which would require an energy equivalent to 15 tons of tnt to create.
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Why does this matter? Scaling. That's why. Wthan Winters could survive getting ragdolled and slammed around by Eveline even in her true monsterous form, while Lady Dimitrescu is still easily able to overpower and harm him, from effortlessly cutting of his limbs to slamming him through several floors of her house with one hand. As such, Lady Dimitrescu should be easily comparable to Eveline, as she can harm someone who can survive blows from Eveline.
In fact, Lady Dimitrescu should be physically superior to Ethan in basically every way. Ethen is fast enough to dodge fire from bows and arrows, moving at 88 m/s to do so, while Alcina can keep up with him at full sprint with just her walking pace.
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Despite being laughably stronger than any mortal man, Lady Dimitrescu is no unintelligent brute. As an assistant in her adoptive mother's research on the Cadou paradite, Alcina has shown to be a remarkable scientist in her own right, to the point of creating three daughters for herself by utilizing an infected fly species, whom she dotes on heavily.
You'd think all of this would make her nigh invincible, but that's not exactly true. Powerful enough toxins, such as those covering the Dagger of Death's Flowers, can negate her healing factor, forcing her to transform into a giant dragon like monster just to keep fighting, and her mutated blood disorder leaves her reliant on regularly drinking human blood to survive.
Still, Lady Dimitrescu is one of the deadliest monsters Resident Evil has ever produced. With a stature, body count, and... appeal that dwarfs Nemesis himself, Lady Dimitrescu shows herself to be the most terrifying vampire this side of Hellsing.
Throwdown Theme:
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Throwdown Breakdown:
Alright, let's start with Morbius's advantages. He is hilariously faster. Even with Miss D being quite faster than Ethan, Morbius is still at least five times faster than her (492 m/s vs 88 m/s).
And that's it. Lady D takes everything else.
For as fast as Morbius is, Lady Dimitrescu is much stronger to an even greater degree degree. At least seven times stronger in fact, with Morbius's 2 tons of TNT pailing against Dimitrescu's 15 tons. One character created a pothole in the road, the other caused an earthquake.
Lady D has been alive with her powers for far longer, she's just as much of a scientific genius as Morbius is, her regeneration is considerably better, her claws make his look like toothpicks, and she can transform into a dragon.
The massive strength gap here, when combined with the better regen, means Morbius is never going to kill her. This isn't a fight, this is Lady Dimitrescu trying to swat a fly for two hours before Morbius gets exhausted and she breaks him in half like a kit kat bar. The only thing Jared Leto can reasonably do here is run away.
one thing i will give re8 is that after like 20 years of the """rivarly""" of schlock horror vs psychological horror resi finally went you want us to do that? we can do that. and then went REALLY fucking hard on the horror to be one of the scariest moments in re of. ever. and then right after you fight a giant fish guy and explode him and ethan will say "in death as he was in life. disgusting." like i love that they acknowledge that re works really well for atmospheric / psychological horror ie re7 & beneviento house but also that at the end of the day this is still resident evil and that is not going to change ever. like no matter how good the first hour of re7 is, that doesnt detract that one of the dlcs is of a random gilf punching the molded to death ending with the regular game ending rocket launcher being a Super Fist to punch out the final boss' brains. sure, the beneviento house is good but like you still stab a doll through the head with scissors to leave. if you ever decide to backtrack to that area you fight a giant ogre guy to find a little violin to sell for money. PEAK camp actually
This is what I imagine the Brothers little battles would be against a Ethan or a female Ethan.
Daniel would chase You (Ethan) through the castle walls singing "Run Rabbit Run" but his sorta Grovely voice and the small tweaks to the song make it That much more scary
"Run Rabbit run Rabbit Run, Run, Run please let us have our Fun, Fun, Fun, You'll get by then we'll turn you into a pie, Run Rabbit Run, Run, Run"
(1 stage: Cockiness)
At the end of his Romp You get in a big fight in a big room and he chases you Trying to get punches in
You just have to do enough damage Unarmed to go to stage 2
(2nd stage: Faltering)
Once he takes Enough damage (And you find your/A weapon) He pulls out a Knife or a Sword "Your really gonna make me use This"
You just have to Parry his sword and shoot him in the Gut
(Stage 3: Desperation)
He stands on the rafters Swooping down and taking chunks outta You and occasionally throwing swords and spears at you
All you have to do is throw bombs/Explode barrel's in the rafters when he gets close to them
The final Blow is a pipe bomb to the Ceiling, Exploding it letting the heat in.
Daniel Cowers to the only place With shade and starts whimpering and Ethan feeling bad makes a deal
"I will throw this... This! (A large piece of wooden scrap) To you when i walk out the door in return... In return You dont come back!"
"I-i-i can't not!"
"Just Run away! Just stop!"
"I cant! You know what they'll do!? God knows what father and Brothers will do! And... Miranda..... T-the other lords! What will they do!"
"I dont know and i dont care! You want this or not?!"
"Yes!"
"Then turn into bugs! Hide! They probably think your all ready dead! Put on some layers and go outside! You can fly and you look human! Go the France, Britain, America, Mexico! Anywhere!"
I would make more but i put too much into This one lol 😅
Chapters: 13/?
Fandom: Hellsing, Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Characters: Zorin Blitz, Rip Van Winkle (Hellsing), Alcina Dimitrescu, Alcina Dimitrescu's Daughters, The Doctor (Hellsing), Major Montana Max (Hellsing), Tubalcain Alhambra, Donna Beneviento, Karl Heisenberg, Salvatore Moreau, Mother Miranda (Resident Evil), Luke Valentine, Jan Valentine, Captain Hans Günsche
Additional Tags: Torture, Crossover, Spoiler !!!, French, War, monsters vs monsters
Series: Part 1 of Huis Clos Ad Vitam
Summary:
"L'enfer est une notion universelle, alors celui des uns peut bien rencontrer celui des autres, non ?"
L'affrontement entre le dragon Dimitrescu et la Lionne de Millénium, cela n'est que le début, mais avec qui tiendrez-vous ?
I mostly made this as a joke lol so take this with a grain of salt
Dan from Dan vs, Donna Beneviento from Resident Evil 8, Loona from Helluva Boss, Octavia from Helluva Boss, Mable from Gravity Falls, Amethyst from Steven Universe, (jokingly) Rodrick from diary of a wimpy Kid, and Kaworu from Evangelion
Hello ! Can I please request how the four lords from RE8 would react to their S/O being a large werewolf that has some control over the other lycans? If not I understand, please and thank you for your time!
-Dimitrescu would be kind of disturbed by the fact you look like a large wolf. Only because I see her as being more of a cat person than dog person, if any kind of person.
-However, she appreciates how well you take care of yourself.
-You understand that she is a lady who likes a clean environment. So, you make sure to keep your fur off any of her clothes or furniture.
-Also, you know she despises the lycans, so you use your dominance over the beasts to keep them away from her castle. Maybe send them over to someone she despises *cough* Heisy *cough*
-Werewolf cuddles with her daughters are a thing.
-She makes sure that you get well fed. Maybe a couple of the maids who displeased her. After all, you are the only dog she cares about.
-If this was Mother Miranda’s doing, Dimitrescu might start to have some mixed feelings about her. I mean, she might’ve appreciated you more as a human than a werewolf.
-However, she still loves you, and makes sure you are pampered. Gives you baths all the time.
Donna Beneviento (and Angie)
-Donna would be weirdly chill about the whole thing. You’d think she’d be afraid of a large werewolf, but that’s something she’s actually into. A secret passion of hers, large scary monsters.
-You were also quite a good dog, and Donna loved having you around for company.
-She would grow all sorts of flowers for you to enjoy, given your highly keen nose. And, werewolf or human, she would definitely try to braid some flowers through your hair/fur.
-You manage to keep most of the lycans away, maybe also killing a few that disobey. The lycans scare Donna, and you don’t like seeing your lady scared.
-Catch Angie trying to ride on your back at least once. It’s like watching a bronc at the rodeo.
-The only time she got mad at you is when you accidentally chewed apart one of her dolls. Angry Donna is a horror show that you never wish to see again.
-She makes you the absolute best food and gives you plenty of pets.
-Werewolf cuddles with her are a big thing. Donna just grabs a blanket and you both just nap by the fire.
Salvatore Moreau
-Moreau would find you as a large werewolf to be absolutely incredible. For starters, you were a lot better looking than most of the lycans. (Also, props to Moreau is he was the one who managed to turn you because you are a fine specimen).
-Good thing you are intelligent because he’s not the best of taking care of things. After all, he doesn’t like having to feed things.
-You make his lycan experimentations go so much smoother because of your dominant position among the lycans. You are able to keep them under control.
-Lucky for him, you love the water. This means big fish Moreau vs. werewolf you in an epic splash fight.
-Honestly loves to pet you fur. I canon Moreau to have a passion for soft things, so he just loves to feel your soft fur. Also, brushing it is a big thing.
-Movie time is when he can really have some wolf cuddles.
-He treats you so kindly, so you vow to protect fish boy at all costs. The carnage you leave some lycans in is horrifying.
-Moreau brags about you all the time to the point where even Dimitrescu is ready to carve him into sashimi.
Karl Heisenberg
-Heisenberg absolutely loves the fact that you are a large werewolf. Heck, he’s probably the closest among the Lords to being near what you are in terms of the lycans that is.
-Understands that even though you can be human, you still have some wolf needs. Gives you a big wrench to chew on.
-Okay, some of the stuff he does, like the one above, is kind of like a tease. He’s knows you are competent, but can’t help but smirk while treating you like a good loyal dog.
-Definitely would say “good boy” or “good girl” or something along those lines to tease you slightly.
-Unlike the other Lords, he has you call in the lycans because he wants his experiments to fight them. Sometimes, Heisenberg will also use you as a final test if you are okay with it.
-He hopes one day he can rally his metal army and you can rally the lycans, and the two of you can go kick Miranda’s ass together.
-As a werewolf, you give him lots of puppy love. I mean a bunch of licking, nuzzling, and tail wagging. He would try to push you away and pretend he doesn’t like it.
-Keeps you a secret from the others and Miranda if he can. You are his and his alone.