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planetnini · 4 months

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LOVE TO KEEP ME WARM !

࿔･ﾟ*࿐ for the first time ever satoru is left puzzled just by a simple question from tsumiki, but he knows just how to prove his love for you + gn!reader. fluff with some angst— use of nicknames (baby, sweetheart), found family trope <3, girl dad satoru agenda, he is a bit insecure but it gets resolved, cutest fucking declaration of love ever, surprises! snow shenanigans, mistletoe kiss, satoru is the best boyfie ever i love him (5.8k words)

notes. this is a gift!!!! so it will cater to the interests and personality of my person but everything else is very vague :) merry new years secret santa thing @scarameows-world !!!! very late by the time this gets published but whtever.. i'm the reindeer that's been up in your inbox <3 we had alot of good talks and i hope we can stay in touch after this :") now here's a cute little fic i made for you about the one and only gojo satoru. title is inspired by this song

gojo satoru is a man whose proficiency knows no bounds. he is a force to be reckoned with ushering a new era of powerful sorcerers and curses due to his possession of both the six eyes and limitless technique. he could do almost anything as one might expect and everything came naturally to him. he never had any doubts about himself, but then came along you.

satoru was a natural when it came to flirting, but he was not accustomed to the rejection he faced in his early days when you would ‘let him down easy’– it was nothing short of disastrous, always ending in banter between you two. yet somehow you had your wicked ways of making him chase even though all you two did was flirt. after several attempts to woo you and you finally stepping up, one thing led to another now here you were, co-parenting two kids with the man you once swore you’d never be with. satoru was 100% sure that he would be yours for infinity, but it wavered on this particular day.

satoru was on a little errand run with tsumiki whom he had entrusted with pushing the trolley around as he scanned the list you had made for tonight’s dinner and activity. she was a young and incredibly happy girl who was much friendlier than her brother, megumi. when satoru adopted the two, tsumiki had taken a liking to him immediately whilst megumi took a liking towards you so he had taken her on the trip. it had been going well, with them doing the final grocery run after spending what felt like hours picking out the perfect wreath for the front door, however tsumiki’s question stopped him right in his tracks.

“do you love y/n?” she asked, a little curious look decorating her features.

“that’s a silly question. of course i do!” he uttered, scanning the wreaths with his eyes picking out the perfect one because quite frankly, he didn’t know how to react.

people naturally assume that growing up from a family who viewed him as an ornament and coddled him that he would be a closed book or lacking in social skills but his first few years at jujutsu tech proved everyone wrong: he was not just a pretty face who could get away with just that. in the end, his love for others was his weakness and tsumiki had brought up something that satoru had failed to anticipate. what did she see that satoru couldn’t and was that even possible?

she took the wreath from his hands and put it into the trolley bringing him back to the present, “how do you know you love y/n?” she paused, and tsumiki must be sadistic for making him suffer like this, “what does it feel like?” she asked, looking up at him.

satoru looked down at the child, surprised by her questions. he paused for a moment, considering how to articulate such an answer to a complex question. was it that hard to believe that gojo satoru was capable of loving someone?

while satoru would never admit it at the start, he needed megumi and tsumiki more than they needed him. after suguru’s defect, they especially reminded him that sometimes blood wasn’t all that important when it came to the people you loved. he loved them but in a completely different way than he loved you. a love so unequivocal that it was impossible for people not to know how truly and deeply in love satoru was with you, so he wasn’t sure where he went wrong but perhaps it wasn’t enough.

“well,” he began a thoughtful look on his face, “loving someone is different to everyone. i guess i can’t really explain it other than a warm, fuzzy feeling inside and it makes you feel like everything is right…” he replied, her eyes lighting up with understanding, “you care for their happiness the most, that you’d even share your favourite candy.” he chuckled with a playful glint in his eyes, trying not to sound too sentimental.

“so you feel warm and fuzzy when you see y/n?” she looked up curiously at satoru.

he chuckled, ruffling the child's hair, "yeah, exactly. now come on, let’s finish this quickly so we can go home. get something for yourself and your brother.” he winked to which tsumiki nodded eagerly, seemingly satisfied with his answer as she rushed down the aisle finding something to bring home.

the atmosphere between satoru and the girl was no longer tense but satoru’s mind was swirling. he was reflecting on the innocence of the question as he took control of the trolley now, finished with his chores for the day. he even went as far as buying you something too but tsumiki had inadvertently planted a seed of doubt in his mind and now satoru was spiralling. did he love you enough? was his warm and fuzzy feelings strong and genuine, or was it something he convinced himself of after everything that went down? the simplicity of her question left satoru questioning himself and for the first time in forever, he is unsure of his relationship with you.

“i thought i told you that they can’t stay up late.” you spoke while washing the dishes. satoru could only lightly chuckle as he rinsed the plate, putting it on the drying rack. he knew you only meant well but he enjoyed seeing you like this more than he had expected: seeing you so worried and being such a caring person towards them. it was not like he had forced you to take care of them, it was through your own volition that you practically raised them.

“come on…” he drawled a little pout on his lips, “they said they didn’t want to decorate the tree without you tomorrow.” he reasoned, knowing that the two children in the living room were your true weakness and that just as much as you do for them, they’d do for you too. the way a simple sentence morphed your furrowed brows into a look of gratitude proved his point.

“do they actually want to decorate the tree with me or is it only because you bought them sweets today?” you accused.

“they’re much older now,” he reassured with a tone you doubt has any good intentions, “besides, i think it’s fair if we stop their ban on sweets, don’t you?” he asked with a simple hip nudge and you roll your eyes at the gesture.

he was happy with this, with how things were going in your life right now, in fact he couldn’t get enough of it. his request was simple, but you wasted no time immediately retaliating, “you just want to freely eat your sweets and use them as an excuse.”

“what little faith you have in me!” he gasped and you have to stifle a laugh, “plus, they’re kinda scary when they don't get their way.” he joked, leaning back on the counter with his arms crossed to get a better view of you who had just finished washing and drying your hands after dinner.

“how the higher-ups trust someone like you on those missions, i have no idea. i wonder how they would react if they found out you can’t handle two children.” you said, flashing him a smile. mentioning the higher-ups in the conversation made satoru’s blood boil but it had been tamed when he caught that little shake of your head combined with your smile. he had been contemplating the nature and depth of his feelings for you but tonight had proved that it was all a fluke– just seeing you was enough to remind him that nothing about loving you could ever be doubted, because loving you was as natural as breathing.

satoru leaned down to meet your eyes as you turned to face him, “sweetheart, if you want me home instead of on missions, you could just say so.” he smirked– a signature gojo satoru look that you couldn’t tell if you loved or hated.

you narrowed your eyes at him, “i hope you get put on more missions.”

“you wound me.” he grunted, a hand over his heart feigning hurt but you knew that he was joking.

“you can take it.” you hummed, eyebrows scrunching as he stared down at you lovingly with a smile etched across his face.

there have been so many moments between you, satoru and the kids that blossomed with joy– something that felt lost in a world rife of evil– but you forget that you’re both still fairly young, thwarted into roles of guardians. you loved satoru since you were teens and seeing that this was your first relationship ever, it is only normal to feel insecure, and normal that you have doubts that satoru could ever truly love you.

while staring at satoru your mind can’t help but swirl with thoughts and he catches on immediately, perceptive as ever due to his six eyes and well, being gojo satoru. he sees it in your contemplative sighs that he had been hearing throughout the week, in your crafted smile, the way your shoulders are tensed and your jaw clenched: he knows you’re feeling some way right now because even your eyes don’t have their usual spark. your name rolls off his tongue so naturally, as if he was born to say it, as he reaches up to brush his hand across your cheek.

“what’s on your mind?” he questioned with a tilt of his head, thumb caressing your cheek. to him, the signs are as clear as day that you were troubled with thoughts of something and he wouldn’t rest until he found out what was going on in that beautiful mind of yours.

that warm fuzzy feeling intensified, secret moments between the two of you that the young girl was unaware of. it’s times like this you’re grateful that satoru is so in touch with how you felt most times and you can’t help the relief that settles in your heart when you realise you were so lucky to have him in your life, “it’s nothing,” you shook your head with a smile plastered on your face, “just… thank you for everything you did the other day,” you said, genuinely appreciative of his contribution to megumi’s birthday dinner, “i know you don’t think that he likes you but he really does look up to you.” you admitted.

“my charms aren’t all that bad.” he hummed, a proud nod as you snorted at his holier-than-thou tone.

your eyes closed at the soft contact of his lips on the crown of your head, warmth spreading all throughout your body during the cold winter month. you crave him and his touch, and you’re lucky that he hasn’t been put on any missions, specifically requested (he threatened the higher-ups knowing his status) to stay home with you and the others for just a couple of weeks. a small sigh left his lips as he started moving his hands away from your face up over his blindfold, the loss of contact made you pout slightly. your hand came over his, stopping him with a simple action, “are you sure you want them off?” you whispered, your voice dripping with concern.

“i want to see you.” he said, without an ounce of hesitation in his response.

“i don’t like the migraines it gives you when you have them off.” you retaliated as you shook your head resolutely. he wants to listen to you, seeing how much you cared for him and laid your heart out for him. the love you had for him was overflowing and he did not know how he got so lucky.

“i can take it,” he insisted, voice a mix of both amusement and affection, “besides, i’ll endure any and all amounts of pain just for you.”

“after that declaration, i better not hear a complaint out of you.” you said, smiling up at him as you begin to unwrap the blindfold yourself. your delicate fingers moved the bandages around his head, undoing the white bandages. the gesture made satoru relax in your touch as you pulled them away from his face. being able to let his guard down after suguru had been difficult but you were a rare (and lucky) case.

once the bandages are undone, you can see that he’s wincing and squinting, probably due to the oversensitivity. adjusting to his surroundings, you brush his cheek with your thumb and his eyes flutter open to have a look at you, “hi beautiful.” he breathes out, utterly captivated by you.

you mirrored his look, squinting as you leaned forward with a smile wanting nothing more than to kiss him until–

“what’s taking so long?” tsumiki yelled, surprising you and making the two of you jump from your spot. if satoru was masking his pain before, he wasn’t doing so now as he screwed his eyes shut and you feel extra protective of satoru now that his blindfold was off. he was extra sensitive to loud surroundings so when she came in shouting the two of you with his guard fully down, you knew satoru probably was still adjusting to having his blindfold off with the kids.

“did your brother put you up to this?” you asked.

“we were just wondering where you two were.” she replied bashfully.

“i told you they were kissing.” megumi groaned from behind her and if you weren’t embarrassed before, you wanted to dig your grave now that he had said it out loud.

“actually, we were rudely interrupted.” satoru complained, narrowing his eyes at megumi. living with them, you know how much megumi truly looked up to satoru but moments like this question why they were always at each other’s neck

megumi rolled his eyes, “have some manners you two,” you ordered, making tsumiki chuckle a bit, “i’m sorry for making you guys wait so long.” you apologised and you see megumi nod slightly at you.

“are you two in cahoots?” satoru whispered in your ear but you pushed him away jokingly. megumi was first to leave the room and tsumiki followed suit, but before satoru joined the two, you reached out grabbing his hand, “i know you said no presents this year, but-” you said, handing him a wrapped rectangular box.

“you said no presents for christmas.” he blurted out, confusion taking over his features.

“well, i sometimes doubt if you ever listen to me,” you looked up at him and you would be right because satoru had bought and wrapped your gift already, “just think of it as a very belated birthday present then.” you smiled at him, anticipating his reaction to your gift.

he opened the box carefully and he could see an engraving on a case, and his heart sunk. he knew he was in love with you, but was it possible to love you even more than he already had? he picked up the case and took out the special glasses he wore when he went out instead of the usual blindfold.

“i remember you said you needed new ones after they broke.”

“correction, when megumi broke my other ones.” he corrected. you rolled your eyes at him, and give him a light peck on the cheek, “thank you.” he spoke before you could make your way to help the children.

“don’t break them again, i’m not made of money satoru.” you warned and situated yourself on the floor, sitting cross legged as you peered over at what the two had been up to when you and satoru were in the kitchen. tsumiki was unboxing some tinsel and megumi was taking care of the ornaments. to be honest, you weren’t sure when you became one of those families who went full out for christmas. the only things you ever really did was presents or stockings and having dinner together. you were overlooking the process, not really helping, or rather not knowing how to as you had never really had a tree let alone decorate one.

“you’re not going to help?” tsumiki questioned, with a tilt of her head as she began to decorate the tree.

all the attention is turned to you now as you shake your head untangling some of the lights for the tree, “i mean, i’ve never really celebrated christmas with a tree and it’s for you guys right?”

“that’s sick and twisted!” satoru gasped, slumping down right next to you with his new sunglasses, “so you mean you’ve never had a christmas tree?” he exclaimed, and quite frankly you don’t really see the big deal.

“i wasn’t blessed with being born into a family like yours.” you teased and he took serious offence to that, not because he was offended by your comment but more so your nonchalance.

“well, anything you want to do for christmas?” megumi asked, putting some of the ornaments on the tree. he always had an artistic perspective and you were glad he was putting so much thought into where each one went.

“i’m not going to be home until late at night, but i guess i’ve always wanted it to snow big enough that i could build a snowman.” you shrugged, looking at the kids.

“that’s impossible.” megumi groaned.

“how are we going to get it to snow?” she exclaimed.

“exactly. it’s alright,” you reassured as you stood up from your spot, “as long as i’ve got you guys, that’s all i could ask for.” you winked at them as you helped them get to the higher spots of the tree. satoru sits there watching as you now start to help the two decorate the tree and decide to help out. you are too distracted to see that his mind is swirling with ideas– he is determined to make your christmas a little more special and he has some ideas up his sleeve that he can’t wait to use.

you feel the exhaustion of staying up late last night settle deep into your bones when you’re on your way home from the mission. it wasn’t like you didn’t get enough sleep, you got just the perfect amount but not being home today to celebrate with the kids and satoru kind of made your heart sink. it had always been the four of you the entire day and sometimes occasionally with the others but being away from home, away from them had taken a big toll on your heart.

you wiped at your eyes with a yawn as you began making your way down the path to your house. the cool winter night was in full swing, trees moving slightly in the small rush of wind that passed by along with the small sprinkles of snow. you took a deep breath and rubbed over your arms as you looked up at the sky. you weren’t lying when you said you wanted snow, it had always been a dream of yours to see falling snow, and enough that it might be enough to build a snowman, it was just something that hadn’t happened in a long time.

you reached the house but the eerily quietness and lack of light concerned you, were they watching a movie or something or did they go out and not tell you beforehand? you brushed off your worries, unlocking the door walking into an empty house. the whole room was dark, nothing could be heard and your heart was stuck in your chest, stopping at just the mere thought of not being completely alone right now.

you could hear some whispers and instinctively your hand went up, charging up your cursed technique as you hear some shuffling until an array of fairy lights went off above you, decorated meticulously going up the stairs and some nice garlands all around, warm lighting and while you’re staring at the lights, you don’t notice the three standing right in front of you.

“welcome home.” they shouted, and you swear you had felt that much relief in your entire life.

“i could’ve hurt you guys!” you exclaimed, a hand over your heart. the soft vinyl record you distinctly remember shoko gifting you after seeing you eye it last christmas playing from the living room, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“well that defeats the whole point of a surprise if i told you, right guys?” he said, and it is only now you realise that he has a santa hat on with the other two in ugly sweaters. you know megumi would be less than happy to be dressed in this right now but you assume he did so for you and couldn’t help the way the corner of your lips curved up at the sight. this… this is what you loved about your little family, and you knew it was wrong to call it a family– the two kids aren’t yours, and you’re not married to satoru but this moment, combined with the cute late night you shared with them just the night prior confirmed that you were all closer than that and how much they loved you.

“you did not need to do this for me,” you sighed, a little overwhelmed by how well decorated everything was. you hadn’t even noticed the holly, the bells, candles, and a bunch of other festive decorations– they really went all out. you wonder just how they pulled it all together but then you remembered that satoru would stop at nothing when it came to his gestures, “and you definitely did not need to drag them into this.” you added, kneeling down in front of them so that you could hug tsumiki and as you stood up you looked at megumi and ruffled his hair despite how much you know he hated when satoru did it, when you did it, you weren’t met with the same grumpy huff.

satoru gasped, “hey, these two were asking if you’d like them and i pointed them in one direction okay?” he defended but as you looked down at the two they were shaking their heads as if to refute his words, “don’t listen to them. they did it because they love you just as much as i do.”

respectfully, you hated satoru but not in a way that was malicious but for always making you feel like the luckiest person on earth. for being friends with you back then when it seemed like the world wasn’t on your side, for allowing you to stay in his life after losing his friend, for letting you take care of two of the most beautiful children ever. he was one of the sweetest people you ever knew and you doubt any gift or gesture would be enough to make up for the man that he is. without realising you had tears stream down your face, and you bring your hand up over your face to cover it. you weren’t usually the type to cry over something so trivial but here you were.

“i can’t believe you made y/n cry on christmas.” megumi complained, trying to lighten the mood as tsumiki’s mouth dropped.

"y/n's fine!" satoru reassured and you can’t help but laugh as you wiped away some of the tears. before you could speak satoru went over to you, engulfing you in a hug, “you better not apologise for crying. there’s nothing you need to be sorry for.” he reassured, rubbing circles on your back. you nod profusely, trying to keep yourself calm in front of the others (not that they’d never seen you cry before) before pulling away from the hug. you stared into his cerulean eyes, out and free from their usual blindfold or glasses, “it’s nice to see you my love.” he whispered, meant only for your ears.

you chuckled, pressing your lips into his cheek before turning around, “how about we open some gifts? how does that sound?” you smiled and their eyes lit up, brighter than the lights all inside the house and they scattered off like little mice to the living room where the tree was, with quite a few presents under the tree (courtesy of satoru’s money but joint in terms of thinking of what to get them) and you followed behind. satoru threw his arm over your shoulder as you took a seat on the couch as they got ready to unwrap their gifts.

“are you hungry?” he asked softly as they started unwrapping their gifts, the one in the penguin wrapping paper which satoru had wrapped up himself.

“i had something to eat on the way back.” you reassured and he nodded.

the two had spent quite a while opening satoru’s gifts. you noticed that the presents were some things the two children had mentioned once a very long time ago and were quite surprised that satoru had hand picked these gifts himself without asking you for help. you knew that he noticed every little detail about the people in his life but it made you wonder if he got you a gift after you said not to. you wouldn’t be mad if he didn’t get you one and vice versa.

“i got you that one.” you spoke, trying to contain your excitement as megumi picked up your gift, wrapped in some candy cane paper. you watched as he unwrapped it, revealing a digital camera and you hear tsumiki exclaim, excited for her gift now.

“a camera?”

you sat up, moving away from satoru as you leaned forward, “i know there aren’t that many pictures of you guys around the house so i got you that so we could start printing some out and putting them up.”

megumi couldn’t hold in his gratitude any longer bringing you in for a hug, “thank you y/n.” he said, and you hugged him back, kissing him on the cheek. satoru was going to make a comment about how he also wanted a hug after all the gifts he gave but it was a special moment shared between the two of you and he was not going to ruin the moment.

as megumi was setting up his camera with satoru’s help, you turned to tsumiki and watched as she unwrapped her own gift, she looked up from the box to you with shock all over her face, “y/n…” she whispered, voice cracking, “i can’t take this.” she said, handing you back the box.

“hey.. it's okay,” you reassured, lightly pushing the box back in her direction, “it’s a gift tsumiki.”

you watched her pull out the necklace, the stunning small heart shaped engraved with her initial on it but that wasn’t all you got her. after observing the necklace and helping her put it on, she opened a box that contained a letter, telling her of how much you adored her with special keepsakes from some memories you shared throughout the year. you have never seen her so happy and when she hugged you, you catch the stare that satoru is giving you– absolutely entranced by how much you loved them. a simple flash takes you off guard as megumi takes his first picture on the camera.

“how about you guys get your coats, i have something to give y/n.” satoru stated and they ran off with excitement in their bones at his plan. he had filled them in but they weren't convinced he could pull it off.

“talk about a successful night.” you chuckled, picking up the wrapping paper and throwing it in the bag that satoru was holding.

“get changed.” he spoke, taking the bag from you and now it’s your turn to be surprised again.

“what? where are we going?”

after getting changed, suspicion arising from his sudden ask of getting changed. you walk out of your room seeing everyone in their coats, scarves, and you watch as the children begin to walk out first leaving the two of you alone.

“what are you up to satoru?” you questioned, furrowing your brows.

“since you thought you could cheat your way around buying me a gift,” he replied honestly, which took you off guard, “i thought it was only fair if i got you some things as well.” there was a small box in his hand, and you took it from his hand. you held your breath as you unwrapped the paper to see a box tied with a ribbon. you opened the box, revealing nothing but a sheet of paper.

you definitely weren’t the ungrateful type but you were expecting something else like maybe a ring, a necklace or something else but as you examined the paper you looked up at him with your mouth wide open. it was a receipt of something you had been eyeing for a couple months but nothing you could excuse spending money on. you had been an avid lover since you were young and it was always your dream to have one of these.

“satoru.” you said, honestly starstruck at his gift.

“you have been eyeing that for so long,” he reasoned with a simple nudge of the shoulder, "merry christmas."

“i can’t accept this.” you shook your head, giving it back to him but you know it is relentless to deny his gifts especially after you pulled your little secret gift on him the other day.

satoru gave you a stare and pursed his lip, “you are keeping it. end of discussion.” he smiled as he started to wrap a scarf around you. satoru had always looked good in winter clothing, a scarf tucked around his neck and due to his infinity, he was never cold but still dressed to the occasion with his designer brands. he was so handsome…

“and since you’re not saying anything i'm assuming you don't like it?” he taunted. you told your brain to make a coherent sentence or at least move so you don’t make a fool of yourself just looking at the gift. you stared up at him, you used your free hand to push the scarf down from the bottom half of your face, "you know i thought you weren't going to get me anything?"

satoru had never stopped at any words faster than he had those, "what?" he answered with a shaky voice.

you scoffed holding his hand in yours, looking anywhere but into his eyes, "i thought you might do a whole 'i'm your gift' thing," you admitted, a little ashamed you had such little faith in him, "i guess you do love me."

"y/n..." he uttered, "if i have ever made you doubt i love you then i have failed as your boyfriend," he spoke and you could feel your whole body warm at his words. "you are everything to me even if you and megumi are in cahoots and pray on my downfall." he said and you shoved him. he winced lightly at the push and smiled as he pulled you close to him once more, eyes moving down to your lips then back up to your eyes.

“that was really sweet of you.” you uttered, looking up at him.

“sweet enough for a kiss?”

“unless you make it snow, i’m not kissing you.”

“i think i deserve just one…” he teased as he leaned closer to you.

a hand suddenly grabbed yours, tsumiki's gloved one, and once again stealing that moment between you and satoru, "y/n! didn't you hear me?" she gasped as you saw the wet snow on her coat go from crystal into a wet drop.

"what happened? is megumi okay? are you okay?" you asked, hand brushing over her face as if to check for any injuries.

"it's snowing!" she exclaimed as she made her way back out.

you looked over at satoru baffled but you could just see him smile at you mischievously and you run out and to your surprise, the snow is pouring down from the sky and you now know that your christmas wish has been satisfied. looking up at the sky, you put your hand out as the snow falls into your hand and you chuckle even though you are freezing your ass off.

the children began throwing snowballs at each other and one hits you at the back of the head and you turn to see all three of them standing there staring at you. they all point at gojo before you decide to pick up some snow for yourself throwing it at him back, thankful his infinity was still down.

you truly appreciate satoru doing his best to make you happy because it was all you ever wanted. he got a snowball in the face before falling down on the floor, and all of you chuckled at him landing on his back as he began to sit up, snow covering his whole back side and all in his hair.

you knelt in the snow and began to make the snowman you've always wanted to during christmas with the help of the two and when you're done you notice him standing at the front porch just staring as tsumiki started doing snow angels and megumi's two wolf shikigami joining him in the snow. you don't know when he let them out but you just smiled as you approached satoru, "what are you doing here?"

"just admiring you," he complimented and you shake your head, "did i do okay?"

you stare at him in bewilderment before moving to press a kiss to his cheek, "you did well satoru. more than that if possible."

he smiled cheekily and you move your hand to drag him back into the snow, "come on..." you hummed as you tried to pull him away from the front porch but he refused to move and you stare at him with a tilt of the head, "what's wrong?"

"you said you would kiss me if i made it snow.” he recalled, hand on his chin as he tried to refresh your memory.

“how the hell did you manage to make it snow?” you snickered but he didn’t look like he was joking. you don’t know how he managed, he would never say but you shook your head, “sorry babe, i don’t think you can control the weather… it is quite unpredictable.” you shrugged, giving him a fake guilty look.

“it’s a christmas miracle!” he yelped with his smile that you know and have grown to adore so much and you follow his gaze to the mistletoe above your head, "you know the rules." he seethed trying to seem nonchalant.

"you're an idiot," you laughed before holding his face in your hands, tiptoeing a bit before pressing your lips to his. you pulled away and brushed his lips with your thumb a little, "i love you satoru, always."

he could only pull you back in for another kiss, smiling as he did so as the kids exclaimed in disgust and horror at the sight. "i love you y/n. here's to many more years with you." he whispered when he pulled away. it was a christmas you will never forget and one that tsumiki and megumi will also never forget, dramatically reminding you that they were traumatised from your little kiss.

tags! @stsgluver @sukxma (thank you for hosting the event)

i hope you love this lynne, i apologise it's not my best work and i'm sorry it took so long. i love you, i hope you're doing well

1K notes · View notes

whiskersz · 2 months

Note

Can you please do headcanons with Angel and Husk with a reader who suffers from chronic pain/illness and how’d they’d help reader get through it? Platonic or romantic is up to you! It’s okay if you can’t but thank you so much if you do.

Hey there! Of course I can, I decided to go with chronic pain though it’s written pretty vaguely, so it can be relatable to a wider audience; and for anyone struggling with this, make sure you rest a bunch :)

Angel and Husk with a Reader who has Chronic pain/illness

Angel Dust

✧Angel is a very caring boyfriend; he remembers all the meds that you’re supposed to take and at what time, and if you forget about taking them he’s going to gently scold you and remind you that this is important for your health.

✧However, his life is pretty busy with him having to be on set for most of the day, so he can’t really take care of you the way he’d rather do it. Still, he’ll take a few breaks to remind you to take your medicine at the right time and entrust somebody else to take care of you if you’re having a particularly bad day.

✧Speaking of bad days, every single morning before he goes to work he’ll stop by your room; if you’re already awake he’ll tell you to text him if there is a problem and you two will share a kiss as good luck to both of you; if you’re still sleeping, he’ll gladly leave a neatly written note on your nightstand where he reminds you how much he loves you and tells you he hopes that you have a good day, and to obviously text him if something’s wrong.

Good Morning Sweets, I hope you slept fine, and that today goes well! Leave me a message if you need, I’ll try to check my phone for you. I love you a bunch, -Anthony <3

✧At the end of the day, expect a lot of cuddles and kisses! He’ll ask you how it went and if you managed to carry out any of your projects. At the start of the relationship he might even avoid talking about his own struggles because he knows you have to deal with yours every day, but as you two get more comfortable so will the relationship, and you’ll be genuine with each other, as the other will always be there for comfort.

Husk

✦Husk may appear grumpy, but as I said probably a million times at this point, he’s the exact opposite in a relationship, especially if you struggle with chronic pain or illness. He’ll be extra careful not to cause you any additional pain or fatigue, and will be thinking of you pretty much the whole time when you’re resting in your room.

✦Alcohol doesn’t really help with chronic pain and illness, so he’s willing to mix you non-alcoholic cocktails and of course prepare something extra for you, such as a breakfast in bed here...a favourite dish as lunch there...he’s skilled in the kitchen! So he does so both because he enjoys it and because it lessens your strain.

✦He can also be a bit of a couch potato, so he doesn’t really mind if you sometimes prefer to have little dates at the Hotel because you’re not feeling the best. Watching some TV to distract you sounds good enough to him, as long as you get to spend time together and he gets to comfort you with his purrs.

✦If you’re having a particularly bad day, he will do anything for you; bring you your meds, remind you to eat and drink, he will even take breaks from tending to the bar to check on you. Alastor doesn’t mind him doing that either.

✦- This only applies if you’re dating both of them – Husk will always be appointed to look after you by Angel while he’s at work if you’re in pain, and he doesn’t mind it one bit. You will receive lots of love once Angel comes home, from both him and Husk, and the playful banter between the two will surely be able to distract you a bit.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin x reader #x reader #husk x reader #angel dust x reader #husk hazbin hotel #angel dust hazbin hotel #huskerdust #headcanons

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sarahsmi13s · 1 year

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Tell Them

pairing: jake ‘hangman’ seresin x wife!reader

characters: jake seresin, y/n seresin, grayson seresin, kennedy seresin, javy ‘coyote’ machado, the dagger squad, doctor, ty (mentioned - grayson’s friend)

warnings: third person pov, she/her pronouns used, language, car crash, drunk driving, mentions of dying, fear of losing a child, hospitals, mentions of surgey, description of injuries, i believe that is it

word count: ~3.4k

a/n: 1/3 (this is a three part story -- however i might expand on it if you guys want)

secret family trope! who doesn’t love that?

loose summary: after nearly losing someone very important to him, jake decides it’s final time to reveal his secret to the dagger squad

pt 2 pt 3

tell them universe

*******

Jake was in the middle of training when a voice came over the comms, “Maverick, Hangman! Payback, Fanboy! We’re cutting your session short, land now!”

The four groaned, “We almost had him, sir!”

“Seresin, I need you to land now and meet me in the ready room.” The urgency in Admiral Simpson’s voice made Jake’s stomach uncomfortably heavy. “Yes sir!”

Jake landed in record time, running off the tarmac.

Cyclone met him at the door and Jake stood at attention. “At ease.” Jake relaxed, “May I ask what this is about, sir?”

“Jake…”

A voice from further in the room spoke up and the broken tone made him clench his jaw. Cyclone let him pass and he immediately embraced his wife. “Honey, what's wrong? What are you doing here?”

She looked up at him, her (e/c) swimming in tears. “Jake, Grayson was in a car accident.” Hangman’s heart dropped to his feet. “I tried to call but you weren’t answering and I didn’t know what else to do. I’m sorry, I know we talked about-“

He gently covered her mouth to silence her rambling, before slowly cupping her face, “Is he okay? Do you know anything?” She nodded and gripped his wrist, “He’s in surgery. I-I can’t remember wh-what they told me about his injuries. The-the police said that it was some drunk driver, he ran a stop light.”

Jake just held her again, finally let his (and her) body weight fall back to the couch. “I’m scared, Jake…” “I know, I know Baby.”

Maverick appeared in the doorway next to Cyclone, “Sir?” “Cut training short, everyone had time in the air, correct?” “Yes sir.”

The Admiral left and Pete stood in the doorway for a second longer before turning and going to tell everyone that training was over for the day.

When he was met with confused faces.

“Wait, where’s Hangman?” Rooster asked, glancing at the crew in the men’s locker room, Mav having already let Phoenix know when he met her in the hallway. “Yeah, why did Cyclone need him to land so suddenly?” Payback asked.

Coyote checked his phone seeing missed calls and a few texts from Hangman’s wife, trying to get ahold of Jake. “He’s in the ready room.”

Coyote grabbed his jacket and left the room without a word. “Machado? Where are you going?” Fanboy asked, but Coyote was already halfway to the ready room.

He burst in, “Jake, hey, Mav cut training early, Y/N’s been-“ He finally noticed that she was sitting on the couch. “Hey, Javy, sorry for blowing up your phone…” He shook his head, “It’s okay.”

Y/N rested her forehead on her husband’s, “I should head back to the hospital, I need to be there in case anything else happens.”

“Wait, where’s Kennedy?” “She’s with Amelia and Penny.” “Does she know?” She shook her head, “Not yet.” Jake kissed her gently, “Please drive safe. I’ll pick her up and then meet you at the hospital.” Y/N nodded and hugged him tight. “I love you.” “I love you too.”

As she left the room, Hangman broke. His hands started shaking, his throat hurt, but he didn’t want to cry. He could cry later, right now he needed to collect his things and leave.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Javy asked when Jake stood up. “Grayson was in an accident, drunk driver… he’s in surgery, but I don’t know anything else.” Coyote nodded, “Come on. Let’s go.”

****

When they reached the locker room they were met with happy banter about their plans for the rest of the day.

Bob was the first to pick up on how shaken up Jake looked.

“Hey Hangman, you okay?” Jake just moved to his locker, which happened to be beside Bob. The unnatural silence from the normally mouthy pilot was unsettling.

Hangman checked his phone, and the amount of times Y/N had tried to call him finally opened the floodgates. It hadn’t really hit him about how serious it was until he saw how desperate she was to get ahold of him.

He still didn’t say a word as he changed, collected his things, and left.

Every pilot in the locker room just sat there in silence, the jovial energy now drowned in confusion and sympathy. They had never seen him act like that, they definitely never saw Hangman cry.

“Coyote, what’s up with Hangman?” Rooster asked, concerned. Javy sighed, “It’s not my place to tell you.” “Come on man. Hangman has never acted like this before.” “Look, if you want to know, ask him. If he doesn’t want to tell you, then respect that.” With that Javy also left the locker room.

*******

Jake picked up his 5 year-old daughter from Penny’s house, “Thank you for watching her.” Both Penny and Amelia shook their heads, “Of course. Call us if you hear or need anything.” Jake nodded and hurried down the steps.

He buckled Kennedy in and slid into the driver's seat. “Where’s Mama and Gray?” Jake sighed, “At the hospital, hun.” “Is Gray sick?”

Jake didn’t know how to tell his daughter that her brother was probably fighting for his life on that table. “I don’t know, baby.” He hated doing that, but he had no idea what to tell her with the little information he had.

****

When he pulled up to the hospital, he got Kennedy out and carried her in.

It took him a minute but he managed to find Y/N. “Mama!”

She whipped her head up at the sound of her daughter’s voice. Jake put Kennedy down and she ran to her mother. “Is Gray gonna be okay?” Y/N sniffled and pushed some hair out of Kennedy’s face, “The doctors are doing the best they can, baby.” “Is he sick?” “No, Ken, he’s hurt.”

Jake sat down beside his wife, trying his best not to break down again.

Kennedy reached up and wiped the tears from her mother’s face, nearly making her break down. The young girl just embraced her mom, “Bubs will be okay, Mama.” Y/N embraced her back, holding her for dear life.

“Hey,” the three Seresin’s looked up to see Javy. “Uncle Cy!” Y/N let Kennedy slide off her lap and into Javy’s arms. “Hey trouble, did you have fun at Penny’s?” She nodded, and then leaned into his ear and whispered something. “That’s a great idea,” he whispered back.

“Hey, I’m gonna take her to the vending machine, said she was feeling snacky. Do you want anything?” He asked the couple who just shook their heads. Javy nodded and was off.

Y/N turned to Jake and could see the turmoil swimming in his eyes.

Her gaze softened, “Baby…” She cupped his cheek and he pushed his cheek into it, a shaky inhale entering his nostrils. “I’m trying to be strong right now, but I’m fuckin’ terrified,” he pulled away and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“Jake… Honey, you do not have to be strong. You may be some badass Navy pilot most of the day, but right now you are a dad. You’re allowed to be scared for your child.”

He looked back at her, “How can I support you and Ken if I’m crying like a bitch?” He bit his lip and shook his head, looking down. “Hey, stop that. There’s no shame in crying, Jacob. Plus, I think we’ve got a pretty good support system. And they aren’t just there for me, or Kennedy and Grayson. They’re here for you too. So can you stop holding back the tears and just cry with me, please?” Jake finally let himself go and pulled his wife into his arms.

It was like that for about 30 minutes before Coyote was coming back with Kennedy on his shoulders.

“Sorry it took so long. None of the vending machines had what she wanted.” Y/N and Jake chuckled at their daughter’s pickiness.

He sat her down and pulled Jake and Y/N up to hug them. “I’m here if y’all need anything. Please don’t hesitate to ask.” “Thank you man.” “Thank you, Javy.”

He pulled back, “Do you want me to stay? Keep Ken occupied?” Y/N wiped her cheek, glancing back at the little girl playing with the ends of her blonde hair, tiny feet kicking back and forth. “If it’s not too much to ask.” “Of course, I just need to talk to Jake for a second, that okay?” She nodded, pulling Javy in for a hug before pulling away and sitting with her daughter.

Javy pulled Jake a little further away. “Hey, I think you need to tell the rest of the squad about them.” Jake sighed, hands on his hips as he looked back at his wife of nearly 15 years and his 5 year-old daughter.

The only people in the Navy that knew about them were his superiors and his best friend.

He liked to keep this close to his chest, this was his and he didn’t want to share it.

He had built this asshole, ‘care-about-no-one-but-myself’ persona because he had to. It was his way to protect his family and to make sure he made it home to them.

“Javy-” “Look, you don’t have to, but they were worried about you when you left.” Jake pulled out his phone. He saw multiple texts, both individual and in the group chat. It lifted his spirits a little to know that they cared.

His friend patted his shoulder, “Just think about it.” He brought Jake into a hug before joining Y/N and Kennedy.

********

Two hours later a doctor was walking out. “Lieutenant and Mrs. Seresin?”

Both Y/N and Jake stood up, Kennedy on Y/N’s hip. “That’s us.” The doctor walked over, “The surgery went well, your son is currently resting.” Y/N let out a relieved sob, covering her mouth as Jake smiled and bit his lip, once again trying not to cry.

“Can you tell us anything about his injuries?” Jake asked. “The impact caused multiple lacerations, broken ribs, a concussion, a sprained wrist, a torn right ACL and a broken left femur. We’ve done surgery for both the femur and the ACL.” Jake wiped his face again, “Thank you. When -uh- when can we see him?”

“He won’t be awake for a few more hours. But you can head back right now, he’s in room 405.” Y/N nodded, reaching out to shake the doctor’s hand, “Thank you, Doctor.” Jake did the same and the doctor left.

Javy stood, “Do you need me to take K? Give you both a minute alone with Grayson.” Jake looked at his daughter, who was resting her head on her mom’s shoulder. “I wanna see Gray…” “Okay, baby, we’ll go see Gray.”

Jake turned to his friend, “Thank you man. You should probably head back, get some rest for- Shit…” “Language!” Jake covered his mouth, “Sorry, sweetheart.” Y/N rolled her eyes and giggled a little bit at the habit her daughter had picked up for whenever adults swore in front of her.

“Hey, I’ll talk to Mav. Give him the rundown on what’s goin’ on, you focus on them.” “You’re the best, J.” Javy nodded and patted Jake on the arm, giving the two girls a kiss on the head, “Call me if you need anything.” The couple nodded and thanked Javy before going to their son’s room.

Y/N gently sat Kennedy on her feet when they entered the room.

“Oh my- Grayson…” Jake bit his fist at the sight of the 16 year-old covered in bruises and cuts.

Jake had seen combat and seen a few friends in the hospital after ejections, but the sight of his son would be burned into his brain forever.

All three moved to sit in the uncomfy chairs by the bed, Kennedy in Jake’s lap. “Is Gray sleeping?” Jake ran his fingers through his daughter's hair, “Yeah, he’s sleeping. He’ll be okay though.”

Kennedy wiggled from Jake’s hold and stood in front of Y/N, where she bit her nail and looked at her son on the bed.

“Mama,” Kennedy grabbed Y/N’s hand with both of hers and moved it away from her mouth, like she’d seen her father do. “What baby?” “Why are you crying? Gray’s okay, he’s just sleeping.” She wiped her face, “I know, hun. I’m just happy is all.”

Kennedy wiped her mother’s eyes again and kissed her nose. Y/N giggled through the tears, “Thank you, Ken.” The girl nodded and yawned.

“Are you tired, sweetie?” She nodded, “Mhmm.” “Why don’t you lay on the sofa? Get a nap in, okay?” Jake suggested as he patted the arm of the sofa next to the chairs. “I don’t have a blanket, Daddy.” He slipped off his jacket, “Here we can use this, for now.”

Kennedy climbed up onto the sofa and rested her head on the little pillow there. Jake covered her with his jacket and kissed her forehead. Kennedy had no trouble falling asleep with the comfort of her father’s jacket and cologne wrapped around her.

Jake sat back down next to Y/N and held her hand, eyes fixated on the rise and fall of Grayson’s chest.

“Was there anyone else in the car?” Jake asked, squeezing Y/N’s hand a little tighter. She nodded, rubbing the tension from her neck with her free hand, “Yeah, his friend, Tyler. He’s okay though, police said it was a T-bone to the drivers’ side. He’s got a concussion, a few cuts, and a broken nose from the air bag.” Jake relaxed, “That’s good. Both of them are alive.”

He clenched his jaw, “What about the drunk driver?” She bit her lip, “Coma, went through the windshield. By some miracle he’s alive…” Jake pulled his hand away and ran it through his hair.

He hated whoever it was that put his son in a hospital bed, whoever thought he had the right to reduce his normally energetic wife to a part of herself that he hadn’t seen in years. It was harsh and maybe even a little dark, but he wished the person was dead.

“Is it bad that I don’t think that’s enough?” Y/N shook her head, “I’m gonna be honest, I thought the same. But he’s 18, he’s just a kid, Jake.” “It doesn’t excuse what he’s done to Grayson.”

She shook her head, “No, but you know that feeling we both feel right now? His family feels the same thing, only added with the major guilt for what their son has done.”

Jake sighed, she was right, she always was. But the anger was still a bitter taste on his tongue, and it would only go away when Grayson was awake.

They sat in silence, just listening to both of their children’s soft breathing as they slept and the heart monitor.

**********

A few hours in, Jake’s lids felt heavy and he kept jerking himself awake.

“Baby, you can sleep, I’ll be here. You’ve had a grueling day.” “Like your day has been any better?” “I didn’t pull g’s all day. Please, get some sleep. I’ll wake you when he wakes up.”

Jake could see the bag’s under her eyes, she was fighting off sleep too. “Wake me up in 30 minutes, we’ll take shifts.” She started to shake her head but he held her face, “Either that or I don’t sleep.” She sighed, “Fine.” He smiled a little and kissed her, “Good.” Jake got as comfortable as he could and fell asleep.

Y/N stood up and placed her hand on Grayson’s cheek, brushing his brown hair up off his forehead. She closed her eyes and shakily exhaled, saying a silent prayer and praise that her son was okay and would recover completely.

A knock came from the door and it made Y/N turn to check on Jake and Kennedy before kissing Grayson’s forehead and moving to the door.

“Can I- Maverick?” “Hey, Y/N, Jake here?” She pointed over her shoulder, “I told him to get some sleep. Do you need him?” The captain shook his head, “I just wanted to tell him he’s got Monday off. Give you all some time to get everything sorted out. I tried to give him Tuesday off, but-” “No Pete, it’s okay,” Y/N gave him a thankful smile.

Pete glanced over her shoulder, catching a glimpse of Grayson. “How is he?” She sighed, “Doctor said he’ll be okay, should wake up in a few hours. A few broken ribs, lacerations on his left side, a sprained wrist, his right ACL is torn and his left femur is broken. They did surgery for both.”

Mav nodded, “Do you guys need anything?” Y/N shook her head, “Not at the moment, but thank you for coming by. I’ll let Jake know you came by.” He nodded and hugged her, “Call me or Coyote if you need anything.” She nodded, “Thank you again.”

She sat back down and cuddled Jake’s arm, unknowingly sealing her fate. It didn’t take her long to fall asleep.

****

Not too long after that Grayson woke up.

After he fully understood where he was and remembered why, he noticed that his sister was awake.

“Kennedy, Kennedy!”

It was a whisper shout, pretty much all he could manage with his ribs. “Bubba!” She squealed, sliding down off the couch and going to the side of his bed.

“Hey, Kenni,” he pushed some hair out of her face. “Are you okay, bubba?” He nodded, “I’m okay, baby. Will you wake up Mom and Dad?”

Kennedy nodded and climbed into Jake’s lap, patting his face until he woke up. “Why are you hittin’ me, Ken?” “Gray’s awake.” He sat up straight, startling his wife awake.

“Honey what’s wrong?” “Gray’s awake Mama!” Y/N all but shot up out of her chair.

She had to keep herself from embracing her son, opting to cup his face in her hands. He winced and she retracted slightly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He shook his head and grabbed her wrist with his good hand.

Jake placed his hand on the top of Grayson’s head, “How are you feeling?” Grayson shrugged as best he could, “Pretty good, all things considered.” Jake let out a relieved chuckle, shaking his head.

“What’s the damage?” “Broken ribs, broken left femur, torn right ACL, sprained wrist, concussion, and lacerations,” Y/N said, letting out a heavy sigh.

“Is-is Ty okay?” Both of his parents nodded, “Got out with a broken nose, a concussion, and some superficial wounds.” Grayson sighed, relieved his friend was okay.

“Will I get to play football, or any sport?” “That’s a question for your doctor, baby,” Y/N told him gently, pushing his hair out of his face again.

“Daddy?” Jake looked down where Kennedy was gripping his pant leg, “Yeah Princess?” “Can I see Gray?” “You’ve got to be careful okay?” She nodded and Jake picked her up, taking her to the right side of the bed.

He gently sat her on the bed and Grayson smiled at his little sister. “Hey, Kenni.” Kennedy frowned, tiny hand gently touching the injured side of his face. “Why is your face cut up? Did someone think you were paper?”

He had to suppress the laugh, “I’m okay. And no, someone did not think I was paper.” “Well good, cause then I’d treat them like paper. No one hurts my big brother.” None of them could hold the laughs back that time, Grayson wincing a bit, “Thank you, Kenni. My big brave protector.”

He tickled her a bit with his good hand, causing her to wiggle and jostle his right knee.

“Hey, bug, careful,” Y/N said gently, knowing it wasn’t really her fault. “Right, sorry, Gray.” “It’s okay, K.” Y/N kissed both of her kids on the head, “I love you both so much.” “We love you too Mom.”

Jake had a watery smile as he watched 3 of the most important people in his life. “And we love Daddy!” Kennedy said, smiling at Jake. “And Daddy loves you, both of you.”

That was the reason he told himself he had to keep them private. He loved them, almost to fault.

And watching how close they could have been to losing Grayson, who had his whole life ahead of him, he knew what he had to do.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? Alone.” Y/N nodded, giving their kids a smile before following Jake into the hall. “What’s going on, Honey?” Jake took a deep breath.

“I think I wanna tell the squad.”

**********

hiiiii! i’m happy you’re here! thank you for reading!

i hope you enjoyed this first part! i have two more parts ready to go and we’ll hopefully get them out in a timely fashion

if you want to be notified of up coming parts comment and i can add you to the tag list! and if you want to be added to top gun tag list lmk! <33

top gun tags <33: @roosterscockpit @luckyladycreator2 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @sebsxphia @milesdickpic

thank you guys for being here!!!

#jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x wife!reader #hangman x wife!reader #secret family trope #tw: car crash #tw: drunk driving #hangman angst #hangdad #jake seresin angst #top gun imagine #top gun fic #top gun maverick #hangman top gun #protective!hangman #tell them

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baronessblixen · 6 months

Text

Fictober 2023

All the stories in one place. A huge thank you to everyone for their support this month.

Day 1: Secret Spots - This is cotton candy-flavored fluff set after "Millennium": Mulder and Scully go to Mrs. Scully's house and find themselves all alone for a moment...

Day 2: Just in Case - This is angst/hurt/comfort with a dash of hopeful cheesiness. Starts off in Dod Kalm (yes, you read that right). Mulder decides to be brave in what he believes to be his last moments on earth.

Day 3: The Deepest Cut - Diana/IVF angst (with a soft ending): Scully is already upset about a colleague's pregnancy and then Diana shows up and makes things worse.

Day 4: Always Expect The Unexpected - Some soft, fluffy silliness today: Scully and Mulder see her mother out on a date with... A.D. Skinner?

Day 5: If I Were The King of The World - Fluffy-fluff set in Detour: We get to see a bit more of Scully singing to Mulder...

Day 6: In The Blink Of An Eye - Angst/Mulder in peril: Mulder happens to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time...

Day 7: Glimpses of October - Post-IWTB/Pre-Revival vignette: Mulder watches his son play in the fallen leaves. Or is he?

Day 8: A Very Queequeg Morning - Hurt/comfort AND humor after "Pusher": Mulder doesn't mind Scully showing up at his apartment after the case at all. Only problem: she's not alone.

Day 9: Talk Vanilla to Me - Rated M/banter/humor(?): Mulder can't sleep, but luckily, Scully is there to listen… and maybe more.

Day 10: Wishes - Fluff(?) post "Je Souhaite": Mulder wants to know what Scully's wishes would have been.

Day 11: Always Partners - Set in season 6, hurt/comfort, some angst: Kersh puts Scully on another case without Mulder and once again she gets hurt.

Day 12: The Easiest Choice - Fluff, rewrite of the last scene in "Existence": Mulder asks Scully what she's going to name the baby.

Day 13: Don't Forget The Cake - Fluff-ish, season 6: Diana throws Mulder a surprise birthday party. Chaos ensues.

Day 14: Preparation is Everything - Fluff, set after "Alone": With Mulder being unemployed, and Scully on maternity leave, they spend their time thinking about furniture, baby names, and all the ways their lives will change.

Day 15: Temporary Insanity - Angsty first kiss fill-in for "Paper Clip": What happened on that elevator ride?

Day 16: Mothers Always Know - Post-ep (sort of) for "Chimera", fluff: It's the Sunday morning after Mulder stayed over at Scully's and he has a somewhat awkward run-in with her mother.

Day 17: In Sickness And in Health - Hurt/comfort post-"Arcadia": They're on their way back home from The Falls at Arcadia when Scully gets sick.

Day 18: Beautiful In My Eyes - UST-filled post-ep fic: Mulder thinks Scully is the most beautiful person wherever she goes. She doesn't believe him so he tries to make her see it his way.

Day 19: It's Us Against The World - Angst, canon divergence for "Nothing Important Happened Today": No matter what Kersh said, Scully doesn't want Mulder to leave her and the baby. But what choice do they have?

Day 20: Shooting Stars - Mulder and Scully sharing a bed during two nights in The Rain King. After a first awkard night, what happens during the second one after the party ?

Day 21: No Longer Stuck In The Past - A different kind of post-episode fic for "The Unnatural": After his and Scully's baseball date, Mulder runs into Diana.

Day 22: Cookie Theft and Other Crimes - How the Ghosts Stole Christmas post-ep, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff - all the fixings: Bill Jr. runs into Mulder in the middle of the night and it goes as well as you might expect.

Day 23: You're Not Welcome Here - AU in which Diana didn't die and Mulder didn't leave after "Existence": Scully and William are waiting for Mulder when no other than Diana Fowley walks into the basement office.

Day 24: Rules Are Rules - Set in season 7, fluff: They're not supposed to share a room while on assignment. But aren't rules meant to be broken anyway?

Day 25: Another Banner Year - Set after "Our Town", before "Anasazi": Melissa shows up at her sister's apartment, demanding a few answers.

Day 26: I Saw Your Face In A Dream - AU where Mulder and Scully meet on karaoke night at a bar.

Day 27: Christmas With You By My Side - Sequel to day 22 "Cookie Theft And Other Crimes" but can be read as a stand-alone: What happens when Mulder wakes up with Scully in his arms?

Day 28: The Truth Is (Not) Found In A Glass of Whiskey - All Mulder wanted to do was drop off a report. Now he has to deal with a drunk Skinner.

Day 29: Glass Half Full - Sequel to "The Truth Is (Not) Found In A Glass of Whiskey": It's the morning after and Skinner wakes up with a hangover - and remembers way too much from the previous night.

Day 30: Feelings You Can't Hide - A post-ep for "Bad Blood" obviously. A jealous Mulder, an attempt at humor and the hint of angst may be found here.

Day 31: Trick or Treat - IVF arc, angsty fluff: They're supposed to go to the Gunmen's Halloween party, but there's something they need to make sure of first.

#fictober23 #my writing #my fic #xf fanfic #msr

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xhdream · 5 months

Note

ok last ask for a while bc I feel like I'm being annoying BUT I just had a really good thought.

what trope would you say each xdh member is? for example I'd say gunil is very fwb and maybe fwb to lovers. I hope this makes sense!

-🦈

xdinary heroes as popular tropes

cw: none

a/n: THIS IS SO FUN your mind amazes me with your ideas every time!! this is such an interesting concept, anon, where’s your writing blog huh??? also, do not EVER think that you’re being annoying even for a second <3 i looked up different tropes and picked out the ones i think fit the members in my opinion

♡ gunil

friends with benefits to lovers

what you said is so true, putting this one right here!! i think he’d be good at it in a sense that he’s a man of his word, so he’d be open with you about everything from the start - if you set some lines/boundaries he’d never cross them. i can totally see him gradually becoming more concerned if you see/talk to other people

fwb gunil = jealous gunil 🤤

insta love

i mean not falling in love, but feeling strong attraction at first sight, so more like insta lust. he sees you and there’s immediate physical connection between you, that pulls him in

♡ jiseok/gaon

enemies to lovers

not gonna lie the only reason i put this one is because i think banter with jiseok would be soo entertaining. it would lead into such a nice & hot tension - the build up would be insane!!

it could be just some small misunderstanding that makes you have the wrong impression of him (or the other way) so you bicker every time you’re together in one room and everyone’s like they’re into each other

♡ hyeongjun/junhan

forced proximity

he’s a shy boy when it comes to strangers or big crowds, so i have a feeling that being stuck somewhere with him would give you a better chance to get to know his personality, than having to be around him within a group of people. by stuck i don’t mean getting locked in a room or something like that, just getting to spend some alone time together before people start coming around you

it’s gonna make him anticipate the next opportunity he gets to have some privacy with you

the bet

you all know how the members say he’s very competitive and he never gives up? junhan confirmed it’s true, saying he chases the win even when it’s literally starting to get unhealthy, soo this trope fits him really well

you’re good friends that occasionally hang out whenever his schedule is free, until one day you bet on something that leads to daily messages and calls, strengthening your friendship and gradually turning it into something more

♡ seungmin/o.de

coworkers to lovers

seeing each other every day, chatting during breaks, helping with your tasks, sliding in some more intimate questions during work calls - i can see seungmin in all of this. he would try repressing his feelings at first, trying to convince himself it’s nothing - you’re just hot that’s all, but oh no! he’s whipped

♡ jooyeon

friends to lovers

do we all agree on this one? i think jooyeon would fall for a friend. i think in general he’s the type of person that finds it important that his s/o is his friend first, lover next. sharing the same humour, the trust you’ve built with time, knowing you can always count on each other would definitely add to his attraction to you

that’s why i think best friend’s sibling fits him well too 🤭

age gap

i see the possibility of him being with someone few years older than him pretty high. i see him finding intelligence & maturity attractive traits that also make him feel secure in a way

♡ jungsu

secret identity

here i’m not saying that i think he will lie or pretend to be someone he’s not, just that i can see him avoiding the conversation that he’s in a band for a while when he meets someone for the first time; he would not straight up say it

if you meet one day and start chatting, because you both felt an attraction, he would spark your interest with how easy going, but also a bit flustered he is. when you get to the questions so what do you do? he’d mumble shyly uhmm i make music… yeah, i’m in this band… do you gets what i’m saying? >< especially as the group gets bigger with time. he wants you to get to know him a bit as a person firsthand before telling you what he does straight away, so he has a sense of what your intentions are

love triangle

why do i see him falling for someone that’s already taken? i’m not talking anything toxic here, maybe you’ve been friends for a while, but you get into relationship and he’s forced to watch you being happy with another person… ok i don’t wanna get angsty, but the thought crossed my mind and i decided to share ><

#💌: xhdream inbox #🦈 anon #xdinary heroes #xdinary heroes scenarios #xdinary heroes imagines #xdh gaon #xdh gunil #xdh jiseok #xdh junhan #xdh jungsu #xdh seungmin #xdh o.de #xdh jooyeon

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emmedoesntdomath · 1 year

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reasons why one should join the top gun fandom

(this is totally not a post aimed directly at a specific person, such as @needtobemedicated. definitely not. me? pfff- never.)

I want to preface this post with a disclaimer: these movies and this fandom are NOT just movies and a fandom that are for american military enthusiasts and veterans. while, of course, they are and can be to an extent, they are also for other groups of people who appreciate it for very different reasons. namely, the girls and gays who watch it for the ✨plot✨.

today, I will be selling these movies and fandom to said girls and gays with the ✨plot✨ and literally nothing else because nothing else is important.

reason #1- maverick and goose friendship

look, who doesn’t need a young, smirking, snarky tom cruise in their life? AND a cackling anthony edwards in the back, providing his best friend with absolutely no help whatsoever? sign me up.

reason #2- kelly mcgillis in 1986

look at her. just look at her.

#3: ICEMAN AND MAVERICK BANTERRRR

oh my god, the bantering. there are insults, subtle innuendoes, lil’ comments thrown here and there. *sniffs* it’s such a beautiful enemies to lovers I mean, friendship.

#4. training exercises

they’re playing a big game of tag with really expensive planes. I see no downsides here.

#5. YOUNG BRADLEYYYY

goodness gracious, great balls of fire

#6. volleyball

ha. (-coming from someone who’s not that attracted to anyone in the scene.)

#7. ICE AND MAV

because there’s no forced heterosexual relationship that makes me uncomfortable to speak of. nope. instead, there’s a lovely locker scene. yes, you read that right. I’ll just…leave that there.

#8. uh…a reason to cry?

I- yeah.

#9. MORE ICE AND MAV

tom cruise does his pilot thingie with the dots and plays tag with the other planes, and saves val kilmer. it’s enemies to lovers for a reason, people.

***casually skips ahead by more than thirty years***

#10. HANGMAN

glen powell is the captain of this fandom, and any other opinion is just wrong. sorry.

#11. PHOENIX

LOOK AT HERRRRRRR

#12. BOB

anyone named bob deserves love, okay?

#13. PAYBACK

his name is rueben.

#14. FANBOY

just yes.

#15. BRADLEYYYYYYYYYYYYY

miles teller saying “you look good” absolutely destroys me

#16. pool table

also yes. (thank you miles and glen)

#17. daddy issues

what’s a good story without a healthy dose of daddy issues? (nothing. that’s what it is.)

#18. parallels

ENEMIES TO LOVERS, ANYBODY? EXES VIBES, ANYBODY??

#19. ICE AND MAVVVVVV

my jaw was ON THE GROUND THE ENTIRE TIME

#20. football

ha. (pt. 2)

#21. pov: you’re crying. again.

…

#22. miracles one AND two

trust me, you will be rolling on the ground at the sheer audacity.

#23. talk to me, dad

THE DADDY ISSUESSSSS ARE A’COMIN

#24. PARALLELS PARALLELS PARALLELS

look, glen knows what he’s doing, ok? sir knows what he’s doing with that smirk and drawl. (and by what knows what he’s doing, I mean he is gleefully dumping fuel onto the fires of hangster media while miles is standing beside him laughing) (I adore them both)

#25. and then they all lived happily ever after

…they did, ok, shut up.

there’s a full list of reasons. you’re welcome.

#I do actually know quite a bit about the military and how it was/wasn’t represented in this series #but this is not that post #and i do not care #top gun #top gun 1986 #top gun maverick #icemav #iceman x maverick #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #hangster #rooster x hangman #bradley rooster bradshaw #jake hangman seresin #charlie top gun #emme’s bad ideas

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thesovereignsring-if · 5 months

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The air is thick. Even with the filter of the blue lantern that Medea carries, you can taste the sour-sweet air as it coats your tongue. It burns the back of your throat, making you want to gag. This was the miasma at work. Oh, Herald, how could anyone live so close to the Wastes if this is what it feels like?

We made it baby! The alpha build for Chapter 1 Part 2 is here! Right on time :) (I died trying to get this done...)

It's available to play for patrons of all tiers on my Patreon.

Important: You'll have to import your save from the public build to continue were you left off! Additionally, you'll need to have an itch account if you don't have one already.

Update Wordcount: 23+ words

Total Wordcount: 60k+

Because this is an Alpha Build. it is very very very barebones and lightly edited and subject to change, but it should be playable beginning to end. Please do no go in thinking this is as polished as the public build. I don't want you to be disappointed TTuTT it's very linear in its current state, but I hope to open it up a bit by the time we reach the public update.

In its current state, there aren't any personality stat changes built into the code so please keep that in mind!

What to expect from the Update:

Begin your journey!

Lots and lots and lots of lore ; w ;

Bond, banter and/or argue with your newly formed party of Sieghardt and Medea.

Enter and explore the Old Capital City of Arkades and some of the landmarks in the area.

Encounter the denizens and creatures that roam the old city.

Survive a dangerous encounter...(Please go to the Patreon post for the solution if you get stumped uwu <3)

Plans for future updates:

Solider-locked scene with Sieghardt at the City Guard Barracks.

Alternative route in the Theatre.

Playable battle scenario with (REDACTED)

Alternative branch scenario to obtaining one of two key. (Not a priority.)

#tsr #Alpha build #Patreon Update #FINALLY #ITS DONE #I'M TIRED #the sovereign’s ring #the sovereign's ring-IF #twine interactive fiction #interactive fiction #TSR-if #choose your own adventure

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antikate · 6 months

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I genuinely think romance is a deeply underrated genre that is sneered upon because of its associations with femininity; I think it’s utopian and hopeful and worthwhile and I crave good romance stories. At the same time I hate most romance novels that I try to read.

I had Covid this week and for a few days was too sick to even look at a book or screen so I downloaded a bunch of audiobooks from the library and I gave up on every single one of them:

1. Notorious by Minerva Spencer. I noped out of this a few pages in when one character was described as delectable and luscious and another character’s eyes were described as orbs. The book also comes with a whole heaping of misogyny and Islamophobia apparently.

2. Georgie All Along by Kate Clayborn. The first ??? 20 ??? Or so pages of this book consist of the heroine back in her home town and going into a deli to order a coffee and not having enough money to pay for it because she left her wallet in the car. 20 pages!!! It’s humiliating and is literally like being stuck in the head of the most neurotic person you’ve ever met. Page after page of this woman ruminating about what a loser she is. Exhausting! And I say this as someone who can ruminate at the Olympic level.

3. Pretty Pretty Boys by Gregory Ashe. This one is an m/m series about two cops who fall in love and I had hopes that it might be solid but the characterization was basically “whatever the author felt like writing”. Also the cops act like cops as in they’re abusive to random people and spend a lot of time being horrible, which I don’t really need in a romance.

4. Not Your Average Hot Guy, Gwenda Bond. Idk this was just. A bit? Boring? Also everyone was just a bit too self consciously sassy. The heroine runs an escape room but one of her props turns out to be actually a demonic book. I think one of my issues with this book and so many other romance novels is that banter is a real skill and most people can’t write it. But everyone, regretfully, tries.

5. Liar City, Allie Therin. There’s this one audiobook narrator who has such a snotty voice that I just cannot. This book might have been great but the instant I started listening I knew it was that dude. Maybe I’ll try it as an actual book.

6. The Blacksmith Queen by GA Aiken. This is one of the worst books I’ve ever tried to read. Truly. The heroine is a blacksmith and the hero is a centaur, which I thought sounded fun (also I was wondering how they’d have sex because I’m like that) but it was … puerile? Astonishingly stupid?

7.Capture the Crown, Jennifer Estep. This is also an absolutely idiotic book. The hero has amethyst eyes and the heroine has some other gem coloured eyes and someone else has sapphire eyes and if you took a shot every time it someone’s eye colour was described as a jewel tone you’d be hospitalised for alcohol poisoning by about page four.

8. A taste of gold and iron, Alex Rowland. This is decently written - as in the prose is solid - but the plot is half baked, the characters are tedious, and the world building is intriguing but paper thin. I’d say it’s a much better book than most here, but I still couldn’t bring myself to finish.

Not everything I’d read lately has been terrible so here’s some romance or romance adjacent books I have actually enjoyed:

1. The Heart Principle by Helen Hoang: This book is not going to change your life but it does what sets out to do with a slight if entertaining love story.

2. The Secret Lives of County Gentlemen, KJ Charles: I think Charles is one of the best and smartest historical romance writers I’ve ever read. Her books are everything I want out of romance: the characters are interesting, idiosyncratic, and sympathetic; the details feel right; the stories work; and the sex scenes are both hot and do important plot and character work. Her books are swoony and emotional and feel very real while still being romantic. (The audio narrator of this let it down a little because he took a lot of odd pauses but I’m being super nitpicky.)

3. A Far Wilder Magic, Allison Saft: This is a sweet YA novel set in an interesting fantasy world - I really enjoyed the prickly heroine and her dog.

4. In Memoriam, Alice Winn: This beautiful, heart-rending novel is not exactly a romance - it’s set during WW1 and has very explicit and realistic scenes set in the trenches. The trauma and suffering of the war are achingly portrayed. But it is a love story between two young soldiers, even if it’s not necessarily one with an easy or simple ending. Highly recommend with the caveat that Winn does not shy away from the brutality and senselessness of WW1.

5. Thornhedge, by T Kingfisher: This is a brief but resonant Sleeping Beauty retelling. Not exactly a romance but also not unromantic. My only complaint is that I wanted more. I’m a big T Kingfisher fan, and I adore her practical, earthy characters (like Toadling).

6. We Could Be So Good, Cat Sebastian: I’m here for everything Sebastian writes. Her books are low stakes but still compelling, her characters are likeable and complex, I actually enjoy her banter, and she has a knack for capturing historical details and moments. Her conflicts never feel fake and the resolutions are always earned.

#book reviews #books #from the trenches of Covid #complaining about romance novels #the author is open to recommendations

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starlostastronaut · 5 months

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DAY 07 | BUT A TROUBLEMAKER GIRL

PAIRING: seo changbin x reader

GENRE: crack, fluff

WC: 0.76k

CW: attempt at humour, playful banter/insults (they're besties so its fine haha)

PROMPT: "your hand looks heavy, can i hold it for you?"

i picked out the prompt and my first thought was "from how many things can i make fun of?" lol. so this is where it ended. i honestly have no explanations for this, so just enjoy haha <3

title from troublemaker - olly murs

general masterlist here

<< previous | mctc masterlist | next >>

"Your hand looks heavy, can I hold it for you?”

You almost choked on your drink when you heard that. When your cough had eased enough for you to be able to speak, you managed to get out a strained “What?” before you launched into another fit, though this time it was a laugh.

“Have you calmed down now?” Changbin grumbled after having to listen to your laugh for another few minutes. If you were to ask him, he would swear the last two minutes were only pretended, because no human could possibly laugh for that long.

“I’m sorryyy Binnie,” you said, wiping imaginary tears from your face. However, upon seeing his unpleasant expression, you straightened your back and stopped the charade. "Yeah, I’m done. Sorry,” you muttered, this time truly meaning it. You didn’t think he took it that seriously, but apparently he did after all, which made you feel genuinely sorry. Sometimes you would simply take your jokes too far without realizing it. “It’s just… since when do you use pick-up lines?”

In the years of knowing Seo Changbin, you had never heard him say a single pick-up line. Sure, Changbin never passed up an opportunity to shamelessly flirt with just about anyone, but he never resorted to something so “primitive” (as he himself once said) like pick-up lines. That was more up Bang Chan’s alley.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Chan-hyung swears it works. He said the fans go crazy whenever he uses one.” He gave you a curious look. “You’re our fan too. Why didn’t it work?” he pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. Despite the situation you found yourself in, the sight of him sitting like that opposite you was just so adorable. Of course, you would never admit it to him, but the thought was still there, making you smirk before you caught yourself.

You opted for standing up from the couch and going to refill your glass, not wanting your face to betray you, given the fact that Changbin was taking this situation seriously, at least to a certain degree.

“My dear Changbin, you’re forgetting one very small but also very important detail,” you called from the kitchen. While waiting for a response, you opened the fridge to take out a bottle of juice.

“What, that I’m not Chan-hyung?”

“No! Well… I mean yes, but that’s not my point,” you yelled back and put the juice back. Walking out of the kitchen, you stopped at the door and leaned your side on the doorframe, with a clear view of Changbin still pouting in the other room. He didn’t exactly look like he had figured it out yet, so it was up to you to give him the hint. “Do you know what the difference is between me and a regular STAY?”

He shook his head and looked up at you, waiting for an answer.

“I’ve met your dumb asses.”

With a smile on your lips, you watched Changbin’s reaction. As if it were slow motion, he furrowed his brows in confusion, but then it got replaced by annoyance. “Yah! What do you mean by that?” he shouted, but there was only pretend anger present in the tone of his voice. You got pretty good at guessing when he was joking, and right now you were sure you were both on the same page.

“That any fan who would spend just a day in the presence of any of you would think twice before falling for you,” you answered with an innocent grin and drank from the glass, making it seem like a neutral conversation. Which it was, theoretically. There was no real malice behind your words, you just enjoyed teasing your best friend.

“Or you just have poor taste, because Stray Kids are totally boyfriend goals,” Changbin retorted, raising an eyebrow as if saying “what’s your response to that, huh?”

But you were ready for him. You two bickered so often that your replies were basically autopilot. Without missing a beat, you scoffed. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.” With a victory smirk, you watched Changbin freeze. He was trying to think of some witty reply, but it seemed like you got him there.

“Wait a minute, doesn’t Jeongin have that friend from school who is also a STAY?” Changbin asked after a moment of silence. You just looked at him, head tilted to the side and confusion written all over your face. “Let’s call them and settle this once and for all,” he explained, already standing up and going to his room for his phone.

taglist: @stayconnecteed @saintriots @vivioluh @ivaneedssleep @jazziwritesthings @darkypooo

©starlostastronaut 2023 | do not repost/translate my work without permission

#moony's countdown to christmas #mctc #stray kids x reader #seo changbin x reader #seo changbin #fluff #crack #humour

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 years

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The Suitor to Suit Her

We didn’t get to see all of the boys attempt a proposal 😂 so here’s some quick dialogues I came up with, written in the style of a play script for the sake of simplicity; it’s sort of a “what if” each of the remaining guys, including the four in the final rescue squad, had a chance to woo the Ghost Bride.

I was able to make each proposal a little longer than the proposals shown to us in-game! It was really fun to write these, especially the side banter.

Please note: I do include Ortho in this, but he is NOT proposing. In Ortho’s scenario, he is volunteering to be the ring bearer or a flower boy so he can at sneak over and inform Idia of the plan and/or so Ortho can swap the ring out for the magical one to banish ghosts.

Another exception to the proposal prompt is Malleus. Since he can’t propose to some random ghost due to his own status as crown prince, his scenario is framed as something different.

Operation Propose, START!

Riddle: HOLD IT!!

Eliza, the Ghosts, and the “guests”: !!

Eliza: What’s this?! A fresh new squadron of suitors?

Ace: You’ve got that right!! If you think you’re gettin’ hitched, you’ve got another thing coming!

Ortho: That’s right! Hands off of Nii-san!

Idia: O-Ortho! You brought all the other normies...!

Eliza: Oh, there seems to be no end to you!

Ghost: Of course! You’re the most desirable bachelorette there is, princess!!

Eliza: Tee hee! Oh, you’re flattering me!

Eliza, to the group: Very well. Let’s start with you, the one in the smart crimson suit that matches your hair.

Riddle, with a polite smile: Ah-HEM! Good evening, princess. I do hope I’m not intruding on your time. I’m thankful that I’ve been granted this audience with you.

(Cater: Look, there it is! Riddle-kun’s surprisingly suave side!

Leona: Well, what do you know? It looks like the red young master’s able to hold his own.

Deuce: E-Eh, Rosehearts-senpai is doing so much better than I did… How cool!

Ace: HAH? Who’s a ‘refined gentleman’, ‘surprisingly suave’, and ‘cool’?! I don’t remember Riddle-ryocho ever being this nice to us! Definitely not to me!

Trey: Ahahahah… Well, Riddle did have manners drilled into him from a young age. It’s not surprising that he’s caught the ghost’s attention.

Ace: You have GOT to be kidding me!)

Riddle, bowing to the Ghost Bride: I am Riddle Rosehearts, dorm leader of Heartslabyul–and I would be honored if you would permit me to court you.

Eliza: Refined as you are, the prince that I seek is at least 180 cm tall! I’m afraid that you are a far cry from that.

Riddle, face tensing: Grrk…!

(Everyone: !!

Idia: Y-Yikes, Riddle-shi looks like he’s about to go berserk mode!!)

Riddle, sighing and relaxing: ………………

(Cater: Nice save! He came in clutch and managed to calm himself down!)

Riddle: I assure you that what I lack in height, I make up for with my talents and abilities. You may test me however you like. I am certain that I can provide the perfect response to any question.

(Ace: … Huh? Is it just me, or is he treating this like it’s a written exam with a short answer section?

Trey: Er, I think that’s exactly what he’s doing.)

Eliza: Very well, then tell me this: how do you plan to sweep me off my feet without that princely height I long for?

Riddle, smirking as he crosses his arms: Simple.

Riddle, a hand on his hip: We’ll have afternoon tea beginning at 3 o’clock on the dot and concluding at 4. No sooner and no later than that. After that light luncheon, we’ll take a 30 minute stroll in a rose garden to let the tea and finger foods digest.

Riddle, waving a hand: From 4:30 pm to 7 pm, we will exchange colloquial conversation so we are able to learn of one another. Dinner will be at 7, and I will return you safely to your place of residence at 9 pm.

Eliza: …………………….

Riddle: ... Well? Have you reached your decision? I’m in a hurry here. There is an important deadline that I must meet—

Eliza: YOU’RE OUT.

*SMACK*

Riddle: ?!

Eliza: You don’t have any sense for romance! Plans? Schedules? Routines? Love isn’t something so rigidly defined!!

Riddle: What?! Just how do you intend to get anything done if you don't...

Eliza: Surprise candlelit dinners! Spontaneous serenades by the moonlight! Getting so lost in my prince’s eyes that I lose track of time! These are the hallmarks of the ideal romance, and they’re all lost on you!!

Riddle, face turning red: YEEEARGH!!! You seriously expect to marry a man you’ve just met to go along with all of that nonsense?! Have you lost your mind?!

Eliza: I’ll not hear another word from you! Bring me the next suitor!

Eliza: Next up is you with the heart.

Ace: You called?

Ace, smiling: Heh, I see you looking at me from across the way. I know I’m hot stuff! You don’t need to be modest!

Eliza: Eh?!

Ace, winking: Hey. Don’t even bother looking at any other guys, cuz I’m your man—and that’s that!

(Jack, Floyd, Vil: …

Vil, offended: … And just who does Potato #1 think he is, waltzing in with such swagger?

Riddle: That overwhelming cocksureness of his is rubbing me the wrong way.

Cater: Eeeh, it seems to be working though, doesn’t it? Ghostie’s got her eyes glued on Ace-chan!

Deuce: This somehow feels… wrong to watch.

Trey: I don’t know whether that says more about the groom or more about the bride.

Idia: H-How can you people watch this without cringing so hard you reincarnate into another world?!)

Ace, smirking: How about it? Have I captured your heart with my wicked charm yet?

Eliza: You’re so bold! So forward! Tell me, how did you temper that confidence?

Ace: Oh, you know! I’ve got tricks up my sleeves.

Ace, looking smug: Unlike those guys, I’m not forever alone. This isn’t my first rodeo, either! I actually know how to talk to girls AND I’ve got mad game!

Ace: You’d be crazy NOT to choose me!

(Everyone: ………………..

Riddle, looking disappointed but not surprised: Fool.)

Ace: Huh? Why’s everyone glaring at me? Don’t get mad just cuz I’m spitting cold, hard facts!

Eliza: YOU’RE OUT.

*SMACK*

Ace: OW OW OW OW OWWWW!!

Ace: What was THAT for?!

Eliza: Shame on you! How dare you talk about other women in front of me!! The last I want to hear about is your EX!

Eliza: If you’re still lingering on her, then how can I expect you to be faithful to me?!

Ace: HAH?! I didn’t even SAY anything about my ex!!

Eliza: THERE! You just did!

Ace, wincing: Gack…!

(Deuce, sighing: … Should’ve known something like this would happen. When Ace runs his mouth for too long, trouble’s gonna brew.

Riddle, looking smug: Hmph. It serves him right!

Trey: Riddle, you’re looking a little too pleased there...)

Eliza: Next! You, with the big ears and the lopsided smile.

Ruggie, mumbling to himself, ears flattened: Sheesh, I can’t believe I got called away from making bacon to make goo-goo eyes at a ghost… Oh well, whatever’s gonna net me that bonus for saving Leona-san’s keister.

Ruggie: Hey, I’m Ruggie! Ruggie Bucchi.

Eliza: Hmm? Did you say something before that?

Ruggie, grinning with his hands behind his head: Nah, don’t sweat it! ‘S nothing.

Eliza: What a winsome smile you have! It’s a little rough around the edges, but it conveys a lot of heart.

Ruggie: Nishishishishi! Thanks. You’ve got a good smile on yourself too!

Eliza, blushing as she cradles her cheeks: Oh my! Such a flatterer!

Ruggie: And your voice makes me want to break out into laughter! It just puts me in the mood to sing, like the sun lighting up the whole savanna.

Eliza: Oh, you…!!

(Jack: Hoo, boy… Ruggie-senpai’s really laying it on thick.

Leona: Hmph. He’s just got a real knack for kissing up to people. Reminds me of a certain octopunk, actually.

Azul, with a passive-aggressive smile: Ah-hem, I can hear you loud and clear, Leona-san.

Leona, smirking: Oh, don’t worry. I know you can.

Idia: My life’s on the line here and you’re just going to sit around and make sarcastic quips?! This isn’t a high school anime romcom!!

Floyd and Jade: Hehehe/Fufufu…)

Eliza: Wait, what’s that sticking out of your pockets?

Ruggie: Huh? Oh, you mean these?

Ruggie, pulling out a bunch of dandelions: There’s tons of these things all over campus.

Eliza: To think that you’d go out of your way to prepare such a thoughtful gift for me… Yes, yes! I’ll happily accept this bouquet!

Ruggie, looking mildly annoyed: Huh? Bouquet?

(Leona: Argh, here we go again…

Jack: ?

Rook: Ah, could it be?!)

Ruggie, getting defensive: You’ve got it all wrong. This ain’t a bouquet, and this ain’t yours. This is MY dinner.

Eliza: It’s…your dinner?

Ruggie: Yeah. Dandelions are basically free food, so I pick’m and cook’m tons of different ways.

Ruggie: I was working my tail off all afternoon hunting these down. If you want your own, that’s on you. No way am I sharing MY food.

Ruggie: *MUNCHMUNCH*

(Jack: Ruggie-senpai just chowed down on all those dandelions!

Leona: *Sigh* His appetite knows no bounds.

Rook: Ahhh, Monsieur Dent-de-Lion consumes his meals with such fervor and gusto! Why, it looks as though he is savoring every last morsel of his supper!)

Ruggie, rubbing his belly: Phew! That sure hit the spo–

Eliza: YOU’RE OUT.

*SMACK*

Ruggie: BLEGH?!

Eliza: Unbelievable! I’ve never seen such selfishness!! What kind of prince not only denies his princess of a present, but then proceeds to take that present for himself!? Reflect on your overindulgence!

Ruggie: Aw, man… I was doing so well, too.

Ruggie: I should’ve stuck with ‘every hyena for himself’!

Eliza: Next—

Kalim, bursting into the venue on a massive elephant (plus all the bells and whistles, a la Prince Ali style): SORRY I’M LATE!!

(Everyone: ?!

Idia: Kalim-shi?!

Jamil, off to the side and looking disappointed but not surprised: ………………)

Kalim, descending on the magic carpet and hopping off: I didn’t miss anything important, did I?

Eliza: Who’s this sunny fellow in the gold earrings?

Kalim, smiling: I’m Kalim! Nice to meet’cha!

Eliza: YOU’RE LATE! It’s simply unacceptable to be running late for a meeting with your one true love! If you cannot be on time, how can I be certain that our love is true? Do you realize how many misunderstandings have occurred because of tardiness?!

Eliza: YOU’RE O–

Kalim: I’m sorry! You’re upset with me. It’s totally my bad.

(Everyone: !!)

Eliza: !!

Kalim, smiling: Meeting your special someone’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience. So I spent a long time getting ready… and I got so busy with that that I didn’t realize I was going to be late!!

Kalim: But I wanted to see you. I wanted to see you with all my heart, so I came as fast as I could!

Eliza: Oh my!

*Step, step*

Kalim, circling Eliza: I haven’t seen many ghosts before! It’s so cool that you can fly all on your own! I’m pretty much grounded without my magic carpet!

(Jade: Fufufu. Kalim-san’s sincerity shines through each and every one of his words.

Jamil: … We’re doomed. Absolutely, positively doomed.)

Eliza, following Kalim with her eyes as he circles her: …

Eliza, looking serious: *Spin, spin* Kalim, smiling: *Spin, spin* Eliza, starting to smile too: *Spin, spin*

(Jamil and Idia: ?!

Jamil: I don’t believe it, Kalim’s redeemed himself–and he’s…

Epel: … dancing with the ghost bride?!

Lilia: Kufufu, that’s Kalim for you: charming in the most unpredictable of ways.

Cater: Go, Kalim, go! Slay that dance floor!

Ruggie: He could’ve gotten her attention WAY after if he just showed off his fat wallet instead of his dance moves!!)

Kalim: You’re a great dancer! So light on your feet, it’s like we’re floating!

Kalim: We don’t have to worry about stepping on each other’s toes! Come to think of it, do ghosts even have feet to begin with?

Kalim, smiling: Gahahah! You could have two left feet and I’d never know!

Eliza: YOU’RE OUT.

*SMACK*

Kalim: EEEEEH?!

Eliza: How rude!! My prince would never make such inconsiderate comments! He should be always cordial and sensitive to his princess’s feelings!! You sit there and repent for your careless words!

Kalim, surprised: Huh, did I say something wrong just now?!

{Jamil: The fact that you have no clue you said something wrong says it all!)

Jamil, stepping up: Please excuse Kalim.

Jamil, under his breath: ... He’s an idiot.

(Kalim, eyes sparkling: Jamil!! You’re coming to save everyone?)

Eliza: And just who are you with the intricate hair?

Jamil, with a small smile: I believe you’re referring to me? Jamil Viper, your majesty. I’m pleased to meet your acquaintance.

Jamil: I do not claim to possess nearly the same level of charm and talent that my peers do–but if you will have me, I would be happy to call you my own.

Jamil: If it appeals to you, I am quite skilled in matters of domestic work. Cooking, cleaning, and any kind of housework.

Jamil: I’m also a professionally trained bodyguard and I have extensive knowledge of first aid. I will be able to look after you and protect you well into your… golden years.

(Azul: My, it’s rare to see Jamil-san ‘let his hair down’ and be himself, as it were.

Idia: I-Is that really a good thing, I wonder...

Leona, scoffing: Real humble servant you got there, Kalim.

Kalim: Gahahah! Jamil’s just a modest kind of guy!

Floyd: Eeeeh, Sea Lion-senpai was totally just being sarcastic there.)

Eliza: What will you do to prove your love for me?

Jamil: Pardon?

Eliza: I said, ‘What will you do to prove your love for me?’ Would you scale a tower? Slay a mighty dragon? How far does your drive go?

Jamil: I will do whatever is asked of me.

Jamil, to himself: ... even if I don’t particularly care to.

Jamil, crossing his arms: If you request for me to scale a tower, then I will. If you say to slay a dragon, then I have no choice but to do so. My drive only ends where yours does.

Eliza: YOU’RE OUT.

*SMACK*

Jamil, wide-eyed and annoyed-looking: What did I do wrong?! I was certain that I’d gain the ghost’s favor if I went along with everything she asked of me!!

Eliza: Your devotion is extremely shallow!! Where is the emotion in your voice?! The enthusiasm?! Your eyes are deader than a ghost’s!! If you’re going to profess your love, DO IT WITH MORE CONVICTION!!

Eliza: How can you expect to win a princess’s heart with a deadpan expression like that and little meaning behind your words?! I can see right through your deception!!

(Kalim: Aww, you were really close, Jamil! If it makes you feel any better, I thought you looked really cool saying all that stuff!

Azul, smirking: Indeed! I very much enjoyed your heartfelt performance, Jamil-san.)

Jamil: You’re the LAST people I want to hear from!!

Rook: Bonjour, des fantômes!

Eliza and Ghosts: ?!

Eliza: Dear me, the one in the bob cut speaks in a tongue I have never heard before. What language might that be?

Rook, smiling: But of course, it is the language of…

Rook: LOVE!

*insert explosion of sparkles here*

Rook: I, le Chasseur d’Amour, have been searching far and wide for the one to call my own, my beloved. I have chanced a perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching deserts, risking life and limb to find my other other half.

Rook: And now! Now, I have discovered you at long last! Oh, be still, my pounding heart!!

(Leona: Tch. You Pomefiore lot are all shine and no substance.

Vil: Ex-CUSE you? Take that back this instant, Leona. I won’t have you insulting me or my dorm when yours could use a good polish.

Leona: Fat chance.

Jack: … Is now really the time to be arguing about this?)

Rook, dropping to one knee and looking at Eliza tenderly: Mon amour, mon trésor. From the time I first laid my eyes on you… you’ve captured this huntsman’s heart!

Rook: Skin and lips the color of sapphire, supple lips pleading for a kiss, eyes that light up the night sky… You’re truly a vision in your white gown, a beauty to all that behold you!

Rook: For this life, and for every lifetime and every afterlifetime that comes, you shall always hold a ghostly grip over my heart! I will be eternally devoted to you, were you to embrace me as your groom.

Eliza: Ah…!! How romantic!

(Deuce: HUNT-SENPAI IS HAMMING IT UP!!?

Trey: Yup, I’m not surprised. That’s pretty much how he always is.

Deuce: H-Hunt-senpai’s power level is seriously amazing…

Idia: IT’S SERIOUSLY GONNA MAKE ME HURL FROM HOW AMAZINGLY CRINGE IT IS.)

Rook, to Deuce: Ohlala~ Monsieur Spade, your compliment has set my heart aflutter! Such surprise, delivered with such earnest… Oui, your naivete carries your unique brand of charm!

Rook, to Idia: Roi de Ta Chambre. Your intense emotion moves me! Quiet as you typically are, when you call out... oui, the mountains tremble! The world shifts in accordance with your cries. The fear that coats your melancholy voice... it is as though a God of Death has appeared before me, eager to stake a claim upon my soul.

(Deuce: Uh, thanks…? I think.

Idia: A-Are you NUTS?! You’ve seriously gotta be!!)

Eliza: ……………….

Rook: Mon amour, what is distressing you?

Eliza: YOU’RE OUT.

*SMACK*

Rook: !!

Eliza: How cruel can you be?! Letting your eyes wander, and when I’m RIGHT in front of you?! And even flirting with my own groom... I’ll bet that you spout those sweet words to everyone you meet!

Eliza: You’re not a prince! You’re nothing more than a cad, a conman, a playboy!! Get out of my sight! I won’t have you playing with my feelings!!

Rook: Fufu. It appears that I’ve been dealt a swift and harsh rejection!

(Vil, looking annoyed: And yet you’re still smiling without a care in the world...)

Eliza: You with the cute face and large doe eyes! You’re next.

Epel: … Nngh!

Epel, to himself: Calm, Epel. CALM. Don’t lose yer cool o’er the first thing! Ya gotta woo this chick and show Vil just how cool ‘n strong ya really are!!

Epel, smiling and with a hand to his mouth: Eheh. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Epel Felmier. I hope I can… have the chance to be your prince.

Eliza: Appled cheeks, with a blush like apple blossoms and a sweet complexion… You are befitting of your name!

Epel, looking disgusted: *Cringes*

(Deuce: Epel’s soul looks like its left his body…

Ruggie: Where’d he even learn this kinda stuff from?

Vil, glaring: …………………….

Rook, looking proud: Fufu. Monsieur Crab Apple has come a long way.)

Epel, forcing a smile: Thank you, princess. Your kind words humble me.

Epel, to himself: So far, so good…

Eliza: Winsome looks and a polite demeanor… I shall be gracious and overlook your petite stature.

Epel, awkwardly smiling but obviously mad deep down: …………………….

Eliza: But how would you protect me if some dastardly villain were to kidnap me? You appear to be smaller and more fragile than even I.

Epel: !!

Epel: HOLD UP, DID YA JUS’ CALL ME WEAK?!

(Idia, groaning: Aaaaaand there goes any shot at victory.)

Epel, angry: Heh. Ya’d all be eassy pickins!! Ah’ll beat the crap outta ya ‘n show ya what for!! Ain’t no way ya’d stand a chance against ME!!

Epel: I’ll take ya AND yer whole ghost army on!!

Eliza: YOU’RE OUT.

*SMACK*

Epel: CONSARN ITTTT!!

Eliza: A prince would never speak in such an unrefined tone!! Your words blend together, and I can’t understand a lick of what you’re saying!!

Eliza: My prince must be able to clearly communicate his undying love and passion to me!

Eliza: And not only that! No prince would lose his temper at his princess! A prince is cool and mild-mannered at all times!!

Epel: Yer off yee rocker if ya think fancy talk ‘n temper got anythin’ ta do with it!!!

Eliza: Silence! You are no more than a petulant child playing pretend.

Epel: NOT LIKE AH WANNA BE YER APPLE PICKIN’ PRINCE ANYWAYS!

(Vil: Goodness. I held my tongue knowing that chatter from the peanut gallery would throw Epel’s concentration off—but here you are, having lost your composure all on your own.

Vil, glaring: What were you thinking, challenging the bride and the entire army behind her?

Rook: Ohoh! It was an honest effort from Epel-kun! Beauté! 100 points!!)

Epel: DANGNABBIT!!! So close and yet so far…

Ortho: Excuse me, Ghost Bride-san!!

(Idia, shocked: ORTHO?!)

Eliza: What is it now? Haven’t I already seen enough fake princes for 5 lifetimes over?

Eliza: Hmm? Oh, you… You look like my dear Idia-sama!

Ortho: Hehe. It’s only natural, since I’m Nii-san’s little brother!

Eliza: Little brother?! Idia-sama mentioned nothing of the sort to me!

(Trey: Er, that would probably be because he was too busy cowering in fear to bring it up.

Idia: Bingo...)

Eliza: But… you share too many features with my prince for it to just be mere coincidence. The luminous skin, the lustrous hair, the charming smile. Yes, I suppose you must be Idia-sama’s relative after all!

Ortho: Affirmative.

Eliza: So? What is it that you need?

Ortho: Requesting to participate in the wedding festivities!

(Idia: HUUUUUUH?!

Idia: O-Ortho, what’s with this insubordination, going to aid the enemy?! Th-This moment would for sure make its way up into a top 10 anime betrayals list!!

Ace: Ah, shuddap! We’ll explain everything to you later!!)

Eliza, giggling: You wish to join in the ceremony? As Idia-sama’s bride-to-be, I will allow it. It wouldn’t do to leave my dearest bridegroom’s little brother out of our matrimonial celebration.

(Everyone: She accepted it so easily?!

Vil: I’m… feeling faint.

Sebek: IMPOSSIBLE! HOW COULD A CHILD SUCCEED WHERE LILIA-SAMA’S CUTENESS COULD NOT?! THIS IS A TRAVESTY! A TRAVESTY, I TELL YOU!!

Lilia: Kufufu. Perhaps we should have sent in young Ortho from the getgo.)

Eliza: I think you’ll make for a very cute flower boy.

Ortho: !!

Ortho, with a sly, smug expression: I’d actually like to be the ringbearer. That way, I can hand off a very important item to my big brother.

Eliza: You already know what you want to be when you grow up! You’re a proactive little one.

Ortho: All I want is for Nii-san to be safe and happy.

Eliza: Awww! I’ll see to it that you have a proper place in the wedding.

Ghost: Princess, it might be a tight squeeze to make a last minute alteration…

Ortho: I can immediately run the necessary calculations to determine the most efficient way to incorporate an unanticipated guest into the logistics of this event. All I need to do is scan the venue and account for the wedding elements in my algorithms.

Eliza: What? I don’t understand anything that you’re saying.

Ortho: Hehe. You don’t need to! Nii-san says it’s a kind of ‘magic’ only I’m capable of. He’s amazing, right? He built this cool body of mine all by himself!

(Idia: Ortho...)

Eliza: YOU’RE OUT.

*SMACK*

Ortho: Uwah!!

(Everyone: ?!

Cater: Bride-chan’s not holding back!?

Trey: Such a quick change of heart too?!

Jade, sighing: Oya, how terribly cruel.

Floyd: Ehhhhh, Ghostie herself’s recoiling from hitting metal.

Idia: Ortho!! A-Are you okay?!)

Ortho: !!

Ortho: My circuits are locking up!! My commands to execute movement aren’t going through!

(Epel: So robots are affected by her touch?

Idia: Why’s this ghost so OP?)

Eliza: After 500 years of waiting... Today is meant to be MY special day! Mine and Idia-sama’s…!!

Eliza: I don’t want to compete with a relative for the spotlight, nor for Idia-sama’s love and attention!

(Idia: YOU NEVER HAD IT TO BEGIN WITH.)

Eliza, to Ortho: You’ll sit with the rest of them as our guests! I won’t have you anywhere near the altar!!

Ortho: No way… Mission failed?!

(Idia: N-Not even Ortho could stop this crazy woman... I-I’m doomed!! DOOMED, I TELL YOU!!)

*BAM!* (Doors to the wedding venue fly open on their own, and all the lights are snuffed out, then reignited with green flames.)

(Lilia and Sebek: !!

Idia: What? What’s this feeling? Why do I feel like there should be final boss music here?

Lilia: This magic is…

Sebek: OOOOOH! HE’S COME!

Sebek, to the others: DROP TO YOUR KNEES AND PROSTRATE YOURSELF BEFORE HIS GREATNESS!!

Leona, angrily: In your dreams and over MY dead body.

Ace, to Sebek: We couldn’t kneel even if we wanted to!)

Malleus, appearing in a flash of yellow-green lights (Silver is close behind): Well now, quite a glittering assemblage we have here.

Malleus, looking at the other failed grooms: Royalty, nobility, the gentry… how quaint. Even the rabble.

(Everyone except Lilia and Sebek: Grrr…

Lilia: Malleus, whatever are you doing here?)

Malleus: You could say I was ‘in the neighborhood’. Passing by, as it were. It occurred to me that I should make a stop to grant Shroud and his bride-to-be my blessing as his peer.

Silver: My apologies, Fa… Lilia-sama. I tried to stop him, but…

(Lilia: Kufufu. No apologies needed. This is shaping up to be quite the spectacle.)

Eliza: I don’t believe this! Yet another wave of intruders seeking my hand?

Malleus: What strange ideas you have. I had no such intentions.

Silver, putting out an arm to stop his prince from stepping up: Please leave this to me, Malleus-sama.

(Lilia: Ohoh, so it all comes down to this.

Sebek: GO GET THAT GHOST, SILVER! YOU MUST AVENGE LILIA-SAMA!!

Kalim: Oooh, are we cheering Silver on? Lemme help out!

Jamil: By the Seven, PLEASE don’t.

Azul, smiling: Kalim-san’s enthusiasm is something to behold!)

Malleus: … Very well. I entrust you to act on my behalf, Silver.

Silver, sighing: …

Eliza: I don’t have time to keep entertaining any more of these preposterous proposals! Please vacate the premises at once, or I will have no choice but to…

Silver: Please wait. I don’t want to fight you any more than you do. All I ask is that you remain open to peaceful negotiations.

Eliza: !!

Eliza: You have mesmerizing eyes. They’re like an aurora borealis!

Silver: My eyes…?

Bird on his shoulder: *Chirp, chirp*

Silver, to the bird: I’m sorry, not now. This is important.

Eliza: … Speak, then. What makes you think you have anything worth offering when all the others before you have failed? They’ve only proved that Idia-sama is the only one in this world for me!

Silver, to Eliza: If it is a groom you seek, then I volunteer as tribute.

Silver: Truthfully, I don’t know whether I meet your standards, or how I compare to Idia-senpai, but… I know in my heart of hearts that I must do whatever it takes to defend to protect those who are not able to protect themselves.

Eliza: !!

Silver: If you must fight, I will be your sword. If you are in danger, I will run to you and be your shield.

Silver: If you were to choose me, I would ensure that you remain safe. I swear it on my life, and on my honor as a knight.

Silver: You have my word.

(Jade: My, Silver-san is honest to a fault.

Sebek, smugly: Of course he is!! Silver can charm the pants off of a snake!!

Lilia: That’s my boy~

Epel: Th-The ghost bride looks entranced… Is she seriously rethinking her decision?!)

Silver: …

Eliza: …

Silver: … Zzz…

(Lilia: Oh dear. What inopportune timing.

Jack: Oi, oi… This isn’t the time to be falling asleep!!

Floyd: I’m way more surprised that he’s able to sleep so soundly standing.

Idia: I’M ABOUT TO DIE, AND YOU’RE JUST GONNA SNOOZE?! Do any of you people have your priorities straight?!)

Eliza: ………………..

Eliza: YOU’RE OUT.

*SMACK*

Silver, snapping wide awake: ?!

His bird: *Nervous tweet as it flies away*

(Everyone: ?!)

Eliza: Never in my life… have I seen someone more princess-like than me!!

Eliza: Beauty, grace, and a noble heart… and even cute animal companions to boot!! You’re the dictionary definition of a fairy tale princess!! So much so that it hurts!!

Eliza: It hurts even more to watch you sleep!! You SLEEP prettier than me!!

(Everyone: HUUUUUH?!

Ace: What kind of a reason is THAT?!

Trey: She was so close to getting the point… before veering off to the completely wrong conclusion.)

Eliza: A sleeping prince and an alert princess… It’s all wrong!!

Eliza: It should be the prince that kisses the princess awake from her cursed slumber, not the other way around!! I won’t accept this kind of a role reversal!

(Riddle: In other words, she’s jealous.

Vil, sighing: Set to a certain script, it seems.)

Silver, to Diasomnia: I apologize for failing you, Malleus-sama. Lilia-sama. Sebek.

(Sebek: HOW?! How could a single ghost have bested us?! We’ve failed the young master...!!

Lilia: It’s quite alright. You tried your best, Silver, Sebek. We all did.)

Eliza: ENOUGH!! I’ve had enough of this charade. This nonsense of entertaining proposals ends here.

Eliza, giggling: Tonight, I’m going to be married to my one true love with you, my captive audience, as our witnesses!!

Ghosts: Idia-sama is almost ready to walk down the aisle with you, princess! Just a little longer until your fated happily ever after.

Eliza: Ooh, this is so exciting!!

Malleus: That is enough.

Ghost Bride: !!

Ghost Bride: This daunting, overwhelming presence… Just who are you, horned one?

Malleus, laughing a little: Oh dear, what an awkward situation. You must forgive me. I’m still feeling quite distressed at having not received an invitation to this momentous occasion.

Malleus: And quite miffed that you would so swiftly take out my retainers.

Malleus, raising a hand: Malleus Draconia. Crown prince to the Briar Valley. Charmed, I’m sure.

(Leona, annoyed: Oh, great. JUST what we needed, the lizard.

Sebek: QUIET, YOU CUR! You have no right to speak to Malleus-sama that way! You’re nothing more than a kitten paralyzed in fear before his magnanimous aura!!)

Malleus, to Sebek: Sebek.

(Sebek: YESSIR!)

Malleus: I believe I’ve already had this discussion with you on multiple occasions.

Malleus, smirking: See to it that you treat the… dignitaries of other countries with proper respect. Do not make me repeat myself again.

(Leona: Grrrr…

Sebek, looking crestfallen and conflicted, to Malleus: A-As you wish, young master…!!

Ace: Whoa, your lameness is so off the charts now…)

Eliza: !!

Eliza: My!! This is how a real prince SHOULD be!

(Everyone, including Malleus: ?!)

Eliza: Over 180 cm! An air of nonchalance! Luminous skin! Lidded eyes! A charming smile! Long lustrous hair! Lips that long for a kiss! Grace and poise beyond compare! Mindful and diplomatic, with a mysterious air about him!

Eliza: A real, genuine blue blood!

(Ace: Is it just me, or did she tack on MORE items to her list just now?!

Jade: It seems our Ghost Bride’s feelings may be just as fickle as yours, Floyd.

Floyd: Ehhhh, don’t compare me to her. It feels gross.)

Eliza, dramatically, with a hand to her head: A tall, dark, and handsome stranger disrupting the holy matrimony of my fated prince and I...

(Idia: D-Did that do it? Did Malleus-shi manage to win her over with the power of ‘the mysterious prince’ archetype?!)

Eliza: Oh, the sorrow of being ensnared by love on both sides! My beloved Idia-sama, faced with a sudden love rival! This is… THE FABLED “LOVE TRIANGLE”!!

Eliza: Oooh, having two suitors engage in combat for the right to a princess’s hand in marriage...!! It’s so romantic!

*Swoons*

(Everyone: WHAAAAAAT?!

Idia: S-Somehow the situation got even WORSE?!

Ortho: This is a scene straight out of one of Nii-san’s shoujo manga!!

Ortho: … But!! I have no doubt that he can overpower Malleus Draconia-san and claim victory!

Idia: P-Please! I’ve already been through enough today, I don’t need to be getting involved in any fights on top of that!!

Sebek: YOU KNOW NOT WHAT YOU SPEAK OF!! THE YOUNG MASTER COULD EASILY FLATTEN ANY FOE LIKE THE INSIGNIFICANT WORM THAT THEY ARE!

Jack: I don’t think the identity of the winner is the issue...)

Malleus, confused: … I beg your pardon?

Malleus: You are mistaken. I never came with the intention of proposing to a phantom.

Malleus, sarcastically: I would appreciate it if you did not assign arbitrary labels to me. I have only come to witness what I am sure will be the happiest of unions. I’m no home wrecker.

Malleus: In any case, did I hear correctly that you are a princess?

Eliza: …

(Deuce, wincing: Here it comes…! Please watch out, Draconia-senpai!

Idia: It’s the blue screen of death for me...)

Eliza: … Yes. I am a princess.

(Everyone: ?!)

Eliza: 500 years ago, my nation was attacked by a hostile neighbor. In my attempt to flee, I was…

Malleus: … I see. Yours is a story that ends in tragedy.

Eliza: I was never able to meet my one true love before passing. You understand as fellow nobility, don’t you? Isn’t that sad? Don’t I… Don’t I deserve happiness?

Malleus: ……………………… No, I disagree.

Eliza: !!

Malleus: The world does not owe anyone a happily ever after. Not you, nor I.

Malleus: Cruel as it is, it is the way of the world.

Malleus: And moreover… you are the sovereign of your country. It goes without saying that nobility must place the needs of the many over the wants and the feelings of one.

Malleus: Your duty is to your people and to your country, not to your heart.

Malleus, glancing around at the ghosts: A number of your attendants are with you. Have you given a thought as to how they may feel? What they may think?

Ghosts: Th-That’s not true! We... We just want our princess to be happy.

Ghosts: All this time, she smiled at us and told us “it’s fine”, when she was suffering deep down. Our lonely, tragic princess...

(Ace: AH GEEZ, HOW ENTITLED CAN YOU GET?!

Everyone: !!

Deuce: Oi, Ace! Are you looking for more trouble?!

Ace: What, you’re just gonna sit around and do nothing? Your mouths still work, don’t they? How about you actually DO something with them?

Ace: Listen up, lady! The perfect prince? He doesn’t exist!! And if you think he is, you’re only deluding yourself!!)

Eliza: !!

Malleus, to himself: Ohoh. That Trappola... Fufufu, quite the mouth on him.

Malleus, laughing: I came seeking a happy ceremony. Instead, I find shadows of the past, clinging on to desperate hopes and unfulfilled dreams.

Malleus, smirking: And a princess so vain as to put her own desires above those of her people, her guests, and even her bridegroom.

Malleus: Galivanting about, so blindly in pursuit of love that they cannot stop to think of how they are inconveniencing those around her.

Malleus: A sham wedding such as this is not worthy of receiving my blessing.

Eliza, looking sad: …

(Silver: Malleus-sama…

Sebek: Young master…!!

Lilia: Malleus…

Lilia, to himself: … You’re speaking from your own heart, hmm?)

Puffy Ghost: That’s enough!! You… How dare you barge in and begin lecturing the princess like this!

Puffy Ghost: You could never understand a maiden’s heart! You could never understand her!

*SMACK*

Puffy Ghost: !!

(Everyone: !!

Sebek: She… She just… slapped the young master…

Sebek: REJECTING LILIA-SAMA, SILVER, AND THEN MALLEUS-SAMA?! THIS ILL-TEMPERED BRIDE HAS TRASH TASTE IN MEN!

Leona: Oi, quit your shouting!! You’re going to blow out my ears!!

Vil: I hate to say this, but I agree with Leona.

Lilia, to himself: Malleus could have easily avoided that blow, but...)

*BOOM!* (Outside, lightning strikes.)

Malleus: ………………………………………..

Malleus, calm but cold: … Did that do anything to fill the hole in your heart?

Eliza: …

Eliza, to her attendants: Please take him away and seat him among the other guests--Idia-sama and I will proceed with the ceremony as planned!

Ghosts: Yes, princess!! (The Ghosts rush off for final preparations)

Malleus: To think that this is how I would be invited to an event... Hmph. How rude.

Eliza: I’ll show you…! I’ll show you the happiest of endings!!

Puffy Ghost, looking sad: …………………………………..

Eliza, to Idia: Idia-sama! Please don’t be shy! There’s no need for you to keep dodging my kisses. Let’s prove our love to all of these fake princes!

Eliza: Midnight and our happily ever after... they’re just a single peck away!

(Idia, looking defeated: ... Womp womp womp. Looks like it’s game over for me, no resets or extra lives or save scumming. Good-bye, cruel world. I leave my anime merch and manga collection to Ortho.

Ortho, distressed: Nooo, Nii-san!!

Ace, to the Ghosts: Hey, are you guys seriously gonna just move forward with this? You’re...

Ace: ...

Ace: ...?

Ace: Huh? I can move again? When did that happen...?

Malleus, quietly, as the ghosts cart him past Ace: ... I’ll entrust the course of this story to you, Trappola. Show me the truest of happy endings.

Ace: !!

Lilia, off to the side and to himself: ... My, so a youngster from Heartslabyul has been “blessed”.

Ace, grabbing his bouquet from the ground and smirking: Heh, looks like you’ve made a good choice~ I won’t let you down.

[From here, just picture Ace confronting Eliza again, Puffy buffing up, and basically the rest of the event playing out the same as it did in canon (maybe with some extra dialogue from the additional students, and Riddle/Epel/Rook still being frozen instead of mobile).]

***BONUS***

Grim: Step aside, ya chumps! The great Grim-sama’s here to woo the lady ghost!

(Everyone: ?!

Idia: Grim-shi?!)

Eliza: Who’s this… sassy lost tanuki?

Grim: I’M NOT A TANUKI!

Grim: I’m the great Grim-sama! Remember that name, cuz I’m gonna be the strongest magician in the world someday!! I’m gonna go down in the annals of magic history!

Grim: Check THIS out! *FWOOSH* (Grim breathes a plume of fire, just narrowly missing Ace and Deuce’s heads)

(Ace, angry: OI, WATCH IT!! I almost got roasted!

Deuce, sighing: I saw my life flash before my eyes for a second…)

Grim, crossing his arms: How’s that? Pretty impressive, huh?

Eliza: Be that as it may, I can’t marry a tanuki! My prince must be a human–or at the very least, something resembling a human!

Grim: What?! I’m WAY better than those saps! And how do ya know that I won’t turn into a handsome human when ya kiss me at the altar, huh?!

(Idia: E-Eh? But cats are just objectively better creatures overall than humans of any kind...)

Eliza: No chance, no way! I’d rather kiss a mucus-covered frog than a furry beast!

Grim, angry: Lady, you don’t know what you’re missing out on! The great Grim has more charisma in ONE paw than these sorry excuses for ‘princes’ have in their entire bodies!

Eliza: YOU’RE OUT.

*SMACK*

Grim: FNGHNYA!? THAT SLAP SMARTS!!

Eliza: A tanuki that talks back to its princess has no place being a prince! At best, you can be a cute talking animal companion or sidekick! I would invite you to come back when Idia-sama and I are seeking a pet, but we’re more of dog people than cat people!

(Idia: Th-That’s a lie!! Cats are obviously superior!!

Idia: ... Though she hasn’t been listening to a thing I’ve been saying all night anyway...)

Grim: YOU’VE GOTTA BE JOKING!!

(Ace: BAHAHAHAH! She got you good, Grim! Serves you right for almost boiling us alive.

Deuce: Oof, I guess the more, the merrier…)

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