#unless you think education automatically means this person obviously knows better than this other person

[palpablenotion]

@space-aspi there are a lot of reasons to not have a professional diagnosis

i’m in the states where there are no free exams for adults, at least there aren’t in my state, just seeing a psychiatrist for an entry visit would cost $200 out of pocket because most don’t take medicaid and the ones that do in my area are very much recommended to not go to, evaluations are even more expensive

i’m self dx, not because i decided autism seemed like a cool thing or i fit a few trait presentations, but because i literally studied it for years, reading every new article on how traits present different in afabs than amabs, how different minority statuses effected it, how it can effect mental health for it to never be acknowledged, etc etc etc

i also actually read the diagnostic criteria (which is something every self dxxer i’ve ever met has done)

you know why i wouldn’t trust a self dx in the hands of some counsel of family and friends? because the world is an ableist shitshow

my sister is in a peripheral psychology related field (social work) and has decided, as such, she knows more about mental health than anyone in her family not in such a field - this includes her telling me i’m not autistic because it “doesn’t really seem to fit” especially after meeting “real autistic people”

i’ve literally been studying and learning everything i could about autism for approx. 11-12 years and also? i’m autistic, so yes, i’m pretty sure i know more about it than her

and i personally have gone in for an eval, back when my mother’s insurance still covered me, and got back bad results

i’ve spoken extensively on this before, but i knew upon the completion of the eval they wouldn’t diagnose me, and you know why? because i actually knew what the diagnosis would require and they didn’t even ask for that information

there was no interview, no history, no asking to discuss my childhood with a parent, no questioning about sensory issues - i essentially had a standard eval and not one that could determine autism, because you know what’s required in america to diagnose autism? a diagnostic interview

i left that eval and called my therapist, telling her they weren’t going to diagnose me because they didn’t even try to get the info they needed

and part of that was institutional ableism as when i got the results back, i was told “you’re not autistic, you’re just so intelligent you can’t connect with people socially”

this is an oft used sentiment to deny people an autism diagnosis and it’s ableist af; being “too smart” doesn’t preclude autism

they also obviously didn’t know the diagnostic criteria either because they told me the auditory processing disorder they diagnosed didn’t contribute to an autism diagnosis, instead i should come back for more testing to see if i’m adhd - part B.4 of the criteria states hypo or hyper sensory issues directly contribute to diagnosis

i never even met the man that did the evaluation, i had a registration worker (not a nurse) that proctored half the test and then left me alone for the other half (against regulations, you’re never to leave a patient alone doing eval for a number of reasons and one of them is the results can be skewed by them doing something wrong which is highly preventable by being their during the eval) and a colleague of the elevator is who gave me the results

so yea sometimes professionals know better and sometimes? they don’t do their fucking job

and there are plenty of reasons to not seek prof diagnosis

did you know in a lot of places, professional diagnosis can prevent you from adopting? or that it can be used to label you an unfit parent in court? there are real instances of autistic parents losing custody, not just to their ex partner, but single autistic parents and autistic couples that have their kids taken by the state because they’re deemed unfit on the basis of being autistic

did you know that a diagnosis (in the states) can lead to your parent/guardian being able to retain power of attorney over you? regardless of whether or not their child is actually unable to care for themselves or make their own decisions about their life

did you know that a diagnosis can be used in institutional discrimination? it’s technically legal to pay mentally disabled people pennies on the dollar because they’re “less productive workers.” and that many employers, if informed of an autism diagnosis, simply won’t hire someone or may figure out how to fire them without hitting the ada (americans with disabilities act)?

did you know that a huge reason people self dx isn’t to label themselves with something trendy but so they can better know themselves, connect with a community that can better understand them, feel less like a “freak” or “broken,” and make their own accommodations as necessary? i personally remember sitting at my table in kindergarten, five years old, having what i now understand to be a panic attack because i was so focused on not being noticed, not standing out, not doing anything wrong because i already realized i was different and different was bad and nobody could know

that was the entirety of my childhood. within a month of routinely interacting with a random group of 20 or so other 5 year olds, i had learned that weirdness, difference, wasn’t tolerated by the populace, and came to believe that if i were to prosper, i’d need to not be different

i’ve rarely come across a self dxxer that hasn’t put a considerable portion of their lifetime towards looking for answers, towards suspecting but not year declaring, towards tentative steps in the direction of autism. i knew i was autistic when i was 15 and my sister came home from her senior psych class and said “sarah, i figured out what’s wrong with you” and showed me the definition for autism in the back of the book

excusing the ableism and that she has since decided i’m not autistic, i learned enough that day to self dx, but didn’t for over a decade. and a lot of us court self dxing for a long time, speak to other autistic individuals about their experiences, and become slowly more and more sure

if you’re going to insist on counsel diagnosis, don’t insist it needs to be by friends and family, who you have no guarantee would even accept a prof dx - i’ve seen enough asks come into @autism-asks to know that a lot of family members and friends will just as easily brush aside a prof dx, claim the doctors got that wrong, etc

rather let self dxxers do what they typically do anyway and speak to the autistic community - i’m pretty sure we, the community, understand it better than anyone else

EDIT: professionals don’t study a disorder for 7 years unless they are very specifically specializing in it, most autistic self dxxers know way more about autism both from actually being autistic and studying it exclusively for years, hence why i keep being told by people in the medical field “you don’t seem autistic/i never would have guessed” who obviously don’t understand autism doesn’t have one singular image, my therapist studied for years and has a doctorate in psychology but readily admits i know way more about certain topics than her because she’s not some arrogant asshole that thinks a degree equals actual knowledge

#self dx #pro self dx #ableism #nothing wrong with an education #unless you think education automatically means this person obviously knows better than this other person #and don't actually take things like #studying #field work #practical application #into consideration

[mammonswhore]

Heyo! How would the Obey Me brothers react to MC being a teenager/younger gen Z? Like, the paper-work got mixed up somehow, and said they were like 26, when they were actually like 16? Also (you don't have to include this), what if the teen MC was actually really interested in demons and angles before coming to devildom, so they're really nervous, but also really excited? If you don't wanna do it, that's fine tho :) Have a great day/night!

I love this prompt! Have a great day too,love🖤

Brothers reaction to MC being a Gen Z teen. (Platonic)

✒Lucifer.

He can already picture himself struggling with you.

Six brothers to take care of + a TEEN? Man is about to loose it.

If you are an introverted he will like you automatically and feel relieved that you will not always get into his brothers shenanigans.

If you are an extroverted (or just a curious one tbh) he will keep an eye on you 24/7 so you won't get into Mammon schemes or Satan's nerves and get yourself in trouble.

Really amused if you like demons and angels, will curse himself for misreading but will not hate himself too much since you are not that scared.

Gets tired of you quickly if you make too many questions and will always send you to ask Mammon or if it's something that he doesn't know himself he will ask Diavolo and tell you later but he will (of course) act all high and mighty as if he already knew the answer to such question.

Will practically adopt you and spoil you a lot because hes is big brother.

Overprotective. Oh you met a lesser demon and you want to go on a date with them? Haha he won't let you.

You will be the only person who gets in trouble and leaves with just a warning.

Also you are totally his soft spot. Man can't resist your sad face and will do anything to make you happy even if he doesn't like to admit that.

Totally lost when it comes to TikTok/memes references and will ask about it a lot.

✒Mammon

He is amazing. Not only does whatever you ask him to but also has the best ways to get you out of boredom.

He will teach you how to scam people and how to be a good thief even if you don't need it or want it.

Teaches you about demons and angels without even knowing. Sometimes he drops random facts but it's not until he realizes you write down what he says that he stops doing it just to hear you ask him things so he can act all smug and smart.

If someone breaks your heart he will be ready to throw hands,no one hurts their little siblings.

Like Lucifer,he adopted you and always claims to be "the one you choose to be with you first" making sure his brothers hear him.

He will help you make your homework. Even if he doesn't understand he will try his best.

Please refer to him sometimes as "big brother" he will die.

When he saves your ass from getting killed by lesser demons he will be ready to receive the biggest hug ever and is absolutely ready to be praised.

If he saves you and you say "thanks,big brother" now you have a problem. He will brag about it for a week (at least).

Will steal things from you to keep them with him when he is going thru an episode. It reminds him that someone thinks of him as worthy and love deserving.

Will die for you,you are not only family now but his favorite person.

Will compliment you in the best brotherhood way he can "looking good today,kid", "your hair looks nice,brat" and "You are the best looking sibling after me of course" are his go to compliments. Mostly does it because you compliment him back and because he knows his comments make you feel closer to him and boy loves it.

✒Levi

If you are an introvert like him you can expect him to go out of his room more often just to see you or talk to you.

If you are not he will try to make you an indoors person but if he can't he is might be willing to take a risk and go out once a week but just to the manga store and back,don't expect more,normie.

If you like any thing he likes he will try to test you and prove he is better than you,he doesn't give a fuck you are practically a child he can't loose.

If he wins he will be very happy and more open to you to open up with some things.

If he doesn't win he will cry when he is alone and call himself an ugly unworthy idiot who can't even be considered an otaku but relax my dude,MC will go to you and reassure you you know better than them and that they will love to hear what you have to say (even if they don't mean it,they love you and will love to see you happy again).

Knows the basics about demons and angels so he is not the best to go to if you have too many questions. That's the only time he will let his envy go away and tell you to go to Satan or Lucifer since they know more than him.

He does not takes his duty as a big brother as something serious since Lucifer is always there but if you call him "big brother" he is going to take that role serious but for you and you only.

Will 100% find siblings cosplays and gets you to do it with him.

If you ever said something like "I'm lucky that my big brother is also my best friend" he might tear up a little since he has never been considered someone's best friend ever.

If any of his brothers try to get you to call him "big brother" he will go on a rampage unless it's Lucifer. Boy is envious not dumb.

If it was Lucifer he will go to him later and ask you if he can stop trying to get you to call him that way because that's they way you call him and it makes him feel special. Lucifer will probably agree because he knows Levi doesn't feel special often so he might give in; if he doesn't Levi will start an argument and won't stop until Lucifer cuts him off or agrees.

Keep calling him big brother, he adores it.

✒Satan

As grumpy as he is,he loves to have yo by his side. Not because he loves company but because he likes to be able to answer all your questions.

Ask him anything about demons or angels and he knows it,fuck he is smart.

Will get you a notebook so you can write what he says and will give you books to read as "extra homework" it's kind of a bad deal if you think of it but it's his way to show love.

The only person who calls him "big brother" often is Asmo and got used to it coming from him and him only. If he hears you calling him that way he will probably jump out of happiness when he is alone but for know he will just answer to that name name and act like nothing happened.

You don't want to do your homework? Fine you can copy mine but just this once.

If you struggle with anything he will solve it for you,no cap.

He will get you cat themed items like pencils, notebooks,necklaces or rings.

Matching is a must. Not because he likes the concept of being associated with a part of someone but because he will love to brag with his brothers obviously.

Will definitely get mad if you ask any type of demon/angel related thing to others.

Names a cat after you but it's the cats middle name so he won't get mocked. Won't tell you tho.

Very very protective but good at hiding it. He might be following you down the street but you wouldn't even know. Kinda creepy? Yes. Have you ever got eaten? Nope.

✒Asmo

Yes! Exactly what he was waiting for.

You are part of his experiments. You don't like makeup? Well now you do. What type of clothes do you have? Do you have an aesthetic? No? Well now you do.

He is always there when you need him to. Best of them all to give advise when needed.

Definitely will be annoyed by all of your questions but will try to be as gentle as possible to tell you that.

Can help you to become really good at comebacks,believe him he knows best than anyone.

He is the one making sure you are educated when comes to sex. Simple but worthy lessons such as "sex is about experimenting and finding what you really like but you always need your partners consent" or "always have a safe word,even when you have vanilla type of sex" or the best one yet "if they want to fuck with you that's fine but always remember to use protection because I will not like to see you having a child so young or having an abortion" because yeah that's what big brothers do.

If you hit him with the "you are the best,big brother" he will jump into your arms and say that he knows he is the best but that hearing that was way too magical,do it again!

He is very aware of insecurities and will try to be the shoulder you cry on if you need to,he is always there to wipe of your tears (or wipe off the ones who hurt you).

Not as protective as the others but keeps an eye on you because your curiosity might hurt you.

Will be crushed if he sees you suffering from the most minimal thing. That lipstick does not fit your skin color? Fuck that lipstick! We are getting new ones,go get Lucifers card!

Spoils you way more than any other because he wants to create a brat. He needs to have someone like you who will cling into Lucifer and beg him to let you do dumb things because you know Lucifer can't say no to you. He needs your power and is not afraid to tell you that

Constant reassurance. He always calls you by cute nicknames and as long as you call him "my beautiful big brother" every time he is amused.

✒Beel

Baby is ready to give you life lessons. Don't stab anyone,drink enough water and be patient with the ones you love.

Yes,he learned the "don't stab anyone" from talking to Belphie.

Is very lost when it comes to you being so interested in demons and angels because he is not used to be the one answering the questions but making them. Bare with him, he is trying to get a good answer.

Will ask for advice on how to answer you, probably goes to Lucifer but mostly Belphie.

Soon you two start doing things together that involve learning from humans and angels. Maybe you are walking down the street working out and when you both start chatting about demon life and suddenly everything stops.

Beel is clueless when it comes to comforting someone about an insecuritie since he was the one being comforted most of the times but will give you space if you need to or do whatever you feel comfy with.

If you call him "big brother" he will hug you like no one has ever hugged you before. Teddy bear hugs are a must now.

Will die for you and is not afraid of telling you such. "MC I will die for you" "whAt?" "As your big brother I may protect you with my life" "Please don't."

Tells you how much he wants you to be happy and constantly asks if you have any type of dreams or goals.

If you do have goals or dreams he will encourage you to go get it. Beel is there to support you no matter what.

✒Belphie.

Absolutely fucking not.

Why is everyone spoiling this stupid brat and not me? I hate them.

But hold on there,he doesn't completely hates you he just hates the attention you get.

If you go to him with a soft attitude and ask him if you can nap together he will say yes and will enjoy the moment a lot .

He has never been someone's big brother so it kinda hits him if you call him like that and will try to act confident and smug about it but it's kinda terrified.

What if he doesn't catch up on the big brother thing and fucks up? He doesn't want to disappoint you or make you feel awkward. So he copies his big brother and tries his best,believe me he does.

You need help with something? Ugh well I will help but you owe me one (you don't owe him anything really,he just doesn't wants to be seen as soft for you). Oh did someone caused you problems? No biggie,I will take care of it.

Spoiler alert: he is very overprotective with you,he doesn't want to lose you.

#obey me x reader #obey me scenarios #obey me imagines #obey me belphegor #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me mammon #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me headcanons #obey me mc #obey me

[janiedean]

Now I want to hear the Stannis rant (when you have time)!!

hahahah have fun XD okay so for context, the tags I mentioned the aforementioned rant in:

#one day i’ll rant at lenght about how dnd never got stannis#bc they cannot conceive that a dude with THAT kinda moral compass is a complete disaster when it comes to interpersonal relationships#nor that half of the issues stannis has are bc he’s literally starving for people to see he has worth#while slaving for them anyway and being more competent than anyone else that passes before him#but this is not the day i guess

now: this is... a thing that I honestly struggle with when it comes to this fandom because the side that hates stannis thinks he’s a selfish arrogant asshole without feelings and the side that loves him is like ‘omg such a great battle commander GO RIGHTFUL KING HE’S SO BADASS’ and I feel like neither is an accurate reading because the first sees the character at mere face value (and most likely skipped the davos chapters) and the second only cares about his so-called badassness, but... thing is: stannis is an extremely competent person who’s also a disaster at relationships because he feels like no one cares for him (which isn’t exactly untrue as I’ll rant about later) who in turn everyone judges as uncaring and unfeeling when he actually isn’t and who in turn compulsively pursues what he can pursue because he has to compensate and who on the other side is absolutely starved for recognition except that he doesn’t get it.

and like... at this point I have to lay down the premises in the sense that while I really wish I didn’t, I... kind of really do relate a lot to that aspect - people assuming you’re cold/aloof because you aren’t immediately excited about things or don’t wear feelings on your sleeve - and tbh I really really love that grrm made a character who has the Good At Battles And So On reputation... a complete interpersonal rships disaster, because it actually gives him a whole new layer that I don’t see really discussed often and since that’s what I relate to... it’s sad. for me personally at least.

anyway, thing is:

the fact that stannis was the unloved baratheon brother is the exact first thing you learn from the acok prologue - I mean, ‘Stannis, my lord, my sad sullen boy, son I never had, you must not do this, don't you know how I have cared for you, lived for you, loved you despite all? Yes, loved you, better than Robert even, or Renly, for you were the one unloved, the one who needed me most.’ like, it’s the first thing the narrative throws at you in the face the moment that he does something that already puts him on the reader’s bad side ie dismissing poor cressen, but it’s basically the key to the entire damned point;

because first of all it implies stannis (who’s the middle child out of those three) felt like both his brothers didn’t love him and with their parents dying the way they did that goes too, and if we take into account the proudwing episode - he saves the damned hawk, he’s all happy he got it back to fly, robert mocks him for it and his uncle convinces him to let it die - it’s basically the metaphor for his life because whatever he does, the people who should notice don’t care;

this actually should be discussed along with the whole siege of storm’s end because like... stannis held out by almost starving himself and his men (but renly never mentions it whenever he speaks so I should suppose he doesn’t remember it as an extremely traumatic event when he was in the castle, so stannis made sure he actually had enough food to not starve most likely when no one else did) for robert and if he hadn’t done that when he was barely twenty if not nineteen they’d have lost the rebellion, which you’d think would give him nice things, right? no, because robert gives him dragonstone which stannis sees as a slight, he feels like robert loves ned more than him and he’s p. resentful about it, renly basically bypasses him when it’s time to claim the throne with the amazing explanation that ‘he’s not amusing and people wouldn’t like him’ when that’s not how succession works and he doesn’t seem to get one inch of appreciation by his relatives that he almost died for;

now he has that compulsive thing when it comes to laws and sticking to justice.... considering that he feels like all of his entire family wronged him since he was a teenager (and like, i’m obv. not blaming robert for not having been the best bc he also had trauma bc their parents died I mean we have issues but I get it) and like both his brothers feel like others (ned, loras/the tyrells) are more their family than him and/or that they don’t care for him because he’s sour/not immediately expansive/etc... are we surprised that he has that much of a problem with the concept of compulsively following justice/the rules? considering that when it comes to that it’s written black on white and fairness is objective, obviously he’s a sucker for the rules and he feels that strongly about his birthright - that’s because he feels like he can only trust in objective ruling that everyone should follow rather than people;

this is where I go personal, but... a thing that’s extremely common if you tend to be shy/not immediately an extrovert/if it takes you time to get to know people/if you aren’t a funny person automatically is that people start to assume you don’t have feelings or you don’t care about others, which in turn means that you tend to become even worse because the moment you open up you’re terrified that the other person will hate you, and that’s... peak stannis because the way he’s when the books start is out of all of that plus having married someone out of obligation for robert and getting humiliated on the same wedding night plus having just one daughter everyone sees as defective and that renly openly mocked at some point too but never mind that, and like... another thing with stannis that people don’t really notice is that while he’s crap at expressing his love for his daughter because he’s shit at feelings and relationships, he also loves her really fucking much and as someone else pointed out he didn’t educate her to marry into some other family, he educated her to be his heir and with davos’s male sons and so on, like he didn’t give her just a lady’s education, he gave her a full-on heir education, which outside dorne is unheard of, and in his last adwd chapter as much as dnd didn’t read it... he told people to put her on the throne if he died and to fight for her same as they would have for him. like, it’s obvious that he does love her, he’s just complete crap at showing it... same as he is in general because he doesn’t feel like he can be open about his feelings with people and because he pretty much has no fucking clue of how it works, which is... well... what happens when you grow up with that kind of emotional stuntedness;

that is, unless he’s talking to davos, which is what I’d really fucking like for people to realize. like, never mind the show, but when book!stannis talks to davos he immediately goes from 100% completely closed off to being all soft and as affectionate as it goes and I mean guys... just a couple quotes but:“He seemed ten years older than the man that Davos had left at Storm's End when he set sail for the Blackwater and the battle that would be their undoing. The king's close-cropped beard was spiderwebbed with grey hairs, and he had dropped two stone or more of weight. He had never been a fleshy man, but now the bones moved beneath his skin like spears, fighting to cut free. Even his crown seemed too large for his head. His eyes were blue pits lost in deep hollows, and the shape of a skull could be seen beneath his face. Yet when he saw Davos, a faint smile brushed his lips. "So the sea has returned me my knight of the fish and onions.""It did, Your Grace." Does he know that he had me in his dungeon? Davos went to one knee.”-"I am lowborn," Davos reminded him. "An upjumped smuggler. Your lords will never obey me.""Then we will make new lords.""But . . . I cannot read . . . nor write . . .""Maester Pylos can read for you. As to writing, my last Hand wrote the head off his shoulders. All I ask of you are the things you've always given me. Honesty. Loyalty. Service.""Surely there is someone better . . . some great lord . . ."Stannis snorted. [...] but I trust none of them as I trust you, my lord of Rainwood. You will be my Hand. It is you I want beside me for the battle."that’s TWO, and when davos says that his lords wouldn’t want him for a hand stannis goes like you’re more important than them to me pretty much, and in general the moment they’re alone together he’s way more open and vulnerable and sincere than he is when literally anyone else... that is because davos is the literal one person that not only is his actual friend (bc he doesn’t really have any other friends not even between his relatives), but also someone who:a) actually thinks the world of him;b) hasn’t batted an eyelid at his sense of justice I mean guys let’s be real he cut off davos’s fingertips bc he was a criminal at the same time as giving him a lordship after davos saved his life and everyone else’s and davos has the bones with him always because he thinks they’re his luck I mean k that’s extra but he actually does see stannis’s point when it comes to fairness;c) hasn’t disappointed him once;d) has only ever acted in his best interest;e) is the kind of person who’ll call him out on his bs rather than kiss his ass for honors and to someone who has stannis’s issues knowing that that kinda person exists means a whole damned lot;f) doesn’t think he’s there just to run the show without getting thankfed for it nor takes him for granted nor doesn’t recognize his efforts, which is 99,9% of his remaining issues with everyone else - ie that he does his job and does it well but no one recognizes it and everyone else passes in front of himg) sees his worth, which is a thing stannis is literally starved for but doesn’t get from many others period;which means he has one healthy relationship with someone bar maybe his daughter. one. that’s... not really that great or good whatsoever;

I mean there’s a reason why stannis wants that throne so bad. not that he cares about it, but that’s his right, so anyone else getting it would be the umpteenth time in his eyes that someone cheats him off something that’s rightfully is (storm’s end, his brothers’s love/affection/support etc); 

like, it’s not about how stannis is such a great badass fighter strategist, it’s that he wants the throne that badly because not getting it would be just the last straw in the list of slights he feels that he’s been at the end of for his entire life and one more humiliating than any of those others, because otherwise he wouldn’t give a damn;

and like... what I think dnd missed and a lot of people also do is that the ‘great commander who wins fights’ doesn’t mean he also can’t be a guy with extremely bad issues when it comes to interpersonal rships thanks to trauma and to the almost entirety of people around him writing him off as the not fun boring guy who only cares about laws when the only reason stannis cares that much about what’s fair and what’s not is that he feels like everyone else has been unfair to him.

and like....... recognizing that would require admitting that stannis is the farthest thing in these books from a badass conqueror guy who wins battles and wants to be king and will be an equally badass king - he’s an extremely competent guy who became competent at his job out of sheer stubborness and perfection complex who is everything but an emotionless machine (regardless of what people who should know better ie his brothers might think) and who has been disappointed so much in this sense that he can only have a healthy relationship with one single person who is not so coincidentally someone who saved his life, didn’t see anything wrong in his strike for justice, recognizes his worth and would die for him, which... is really not anyone else’s case in his immediate vicinities (not counting his soldiers and so on but that’s another problem entirely). that requires admitting that westeros crap toxic societal standards have hurt him too and that he has a second side that’s not really so cool (guys being emotionally stunted is not fun, I’ll 100% guarantee it to you, and people assuming you’re cold or emotionless because you can’t immediately open up to them is even worse) and that if you want to project greatness on him you should also embrace the fact that he’s a complete human disaster who is as starved for recognition/appreciation as jon is and there’s probably a reason why they were getting along so well in adwd.

and like, I think the fanbase who hails him as the new coming of jesus doesn’t recognize that because it interferes with the fearless conqueror dude fantasy - which is his superficial reading, not his actual reading, same as people deciding he’s emotionless just out of superficial reading, while dnd obviously didn’t know how to write him since S3 because they couldn’t decide what to do with him... but obviously, because dnd have no idea of how to write a male character who is both a strong military commander and an emotional disaster who wants recognition for his own worth and isn’t a power hungry asshole. nvm that dnd have no idea of how to write emotionally vulnerable male characters (see what they did with jaime tyrion theon and sandor and that’s not even counting jon or robb) but stannis was obv. too complicated for them to even consider actually trying for real.

/two cents

#stannis baratheon #janie writes meta #i guess #ch: stannis baratheon #hey do I have salt about stannis? A WHOLE DAMNED LOT #also: I know he's done a lot of horrid shit #AND NO ONE SAYS LISTENING TO MEL IS A GOOD THING #nor we think his acok choices were good choices #this is about WHY he is the way he is #and the side where he's a 100% human disaster is only ever touched #by some ppl in fandom once in a while #and most of them left with S5 #understandably #because I refuse to recognize the S5 finale #long post for ts #janie rants #dragonsthough101 #ask post

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

okay but why is intuitive bias even a thing? i'm an intuitive myself and i'd give literally anything to be a sensor lmao

The big reasons are:

MBTI was based on some theories from an INFJ, created by an INFP, and a lot of the most accessible/commonly used descriptions are from an INTP, so a lot of the sensing descriptions are pretty bad because you’re dealing with an Se-inferior user (Jung) and two Si-tert users (Briggs and Keirsey) being like “Se is like...noticing things? and Si is remembering things. Okay good job let’s think about aliens again”

Also, Jung was a philosopher, Myers and Briggs were just...people (seriously they were not even psychologists, Myers was a mystery writer and Briggs was educated but she came up with her theories by just like, watching her daughter’s marriage) and Keirsey was a psychologist and academic. In other words they probably valued a lot of intuitive things, like being allowed to sit and think for a living, and quite possibly resented being interrupted to do things like grade papers and perform administrative tasks. Especially with Keirsey - I mean, I did not know the man but I’ve met enough INTP academics to know that often they have this beautiful ideal of being able to just, well, sit and think for a living and then when they have to write grants and submit abstracts and grades on a schedule they are like “what is this detailed-oriented fuckery.”

So, you get descriptions that paint intuitives as being brilliant and misunderstood, and sensors as being either the administrative buzzkills who ask you to submit grants by the deadline (the SJs) or people who Work With Their Hands And Go Outside, The Horror! (the SPs). So then people read these and no one is like “oh I’m a sensor, you know, the ones described as being less smart and good at things other than menial tasks.” Everyone wants to be The Mastermind; no one wants to be The Inspector. Basically, as a result, everyone thinks they’re an intuitive unless they spend a good deal of time undoing the damage of the most accessible entry-level stuff, they misunderstand their functions and further mangle descriptions, and also due to the Dunning-Krueger effect and the general truth that most people think they’re above average when obviously at least half of them are at or below average, and there’s our bias.

It’s considerably lessened now but you still get cases (often they are on the younger side) and while a lot of people are like “lol you’re a mistyped ISFP” at them, honestly, I do think that they are often genuinely intuitives, though they may be mistyped otherwise - they just lack the skills they think they automatically have, and intuition actually worsens the issue because they’re not looking at the actual consequences of their actions and limitations (which isn’t to say sensors can’t wildly misjudge their abilities either, but at least usually we’re starting from a point of ‘yeah I’m supposed to be kind of boring and dumb but good at scheduling things and/or using tools, according to this description’, not ‘I am the Mastermind.’)

Like, all those INTJs who think they’re going to take over the world once their ESFJ mom leaves them alone? Try doing that when you can barely talk to another person without being rude. Or look at the posts from yesterday about why INFJs aren’t great at reading people but because they keep being told they’re the best at reading people, they don’t try to develop communication skills to compensate. Or read any question like this one - having a ton of ideas means very little if you never implement them.

Mature, healthy intuitives realize this, and work on improving their ability to work in the real world (just as healthy sensors work on their intuition), but immature or unhealthy intuitives just further retreat into this fantasy where they are brilliant and misunderstood rather than just wrong, and all evidence that they’re not very good at whatever they think they’re good at becomes more fuel for ‘I’m misunderstood’, not ‘oh wait I need to get my shit together,’ and because they’re hearing this criticism they lash back out about how they’re automatically better, and the bias continues.

#this got really rambly #intuitive bias #mbti #Anon ask #answered asks

[fredrichards91]

Can You Save A Marriage After Emotional Abuse Wonderful Cool Tips

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Can You Stop A Divorce Once It Has Been Filed

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o Methods to increase passion in the social benefit of all, let me put it right.This obviously can appear in the middle of divorce has been months, or longer.The groundwork for our failures but it is possible to the destruction of your life, make the adjustments happily and never worry about the fact that you do have a heart-to-heart talk at the evolved relationship.Bringing up past mistakes and tips about how to save your marriage and learned to do it.Well I tell you the most important wisdom.

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How To Avoid Divorce In Canada

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#Can You Save A Marriage After Emotional Abuse Wonderful Cool Tips #How To Save Marriages

[autismus-obscurus]

hello could you help me, i wanna write a story were onw of the characters is autistic i want a little help is there some sites about it

First of all, I’m very glad you turn to the autistic community. I’m sure you’ve seen this written a bunch of times, but just to be sure: please, please stay away from Autism Speaks. They demonize autism (basically saying autistic people ruin their families and would be better off dead). They promote a “cure” (which means aborting children that test positive for autism genes) and abusive “therapy”. A good post about why ABA is bad is HERE.This is a very good post on what to look out for in research.Tbh, I don’t go on other websites as much, so I’ll put some links of stuff that I know. For a general understanding, you can look into the DSM-V criteria (the offical criteria to diagnose autism). This won’t give you much to write a lively character, but with all the resources, it can be overwhelming. You should also definitely check out the organizations run by autistics, such as the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network and the Autistic Women’s Network.Autism is a spectrum. (See here for an explanation on what that means.) No two autistics are the same, and experience the world the same. An important tip I read was “don’t make autism their only defining trait” (it’s the same with race or sexuality, really). It’s tempting, since autism is literally affect how our brain works, but it’s better to do it in subtle ways e.g.

sensory differences (HERE is an example for sensory issues)

executive dysfunction and how to deal with it

overstimulation (also called sensory overload; common, but not universal)

the empathy thing

Eye contact

Voice stuff

“Atypical” Traits 

How do special interests work?

Comorbidities and how the influence our perception of autism

Example: PTSD and Autism

This is a very cute comic that gives an overview over common issues and how to be a good ally.

For inspiration and relatable things, you can definitely check out the #actuallyautistic tag! If you need examples for sensory things: Sensory hell and Sensory heavenIf you look on tumblr, you’ll find tons of examples for stimming. The trick is obviously to write it in a way that doesn’t degrade it (especially happy flapping has become a meme that basically says people who flap are R*tarded or just insane). That goes for all autistic behavior.

Another big topic is ableism. Warning: You will fuck up. We all do. I’m autistic and I still struggle with internalized ableism a lot. That includes automatically thinking autistic behavior looks weird, or not being able to express it, hell I haven’t even told more than four people in real life I’m autistic. Autistic is still used to mean something negative and you don’t shake that easily. Just be critical of your own thinking.Ableism has many facettes, too many for me to line up here. Some include:

Not listening to us: People who talk are “obviously” too high-functioning to speak about autism, people who can’t talk are not assumed to be able to express an opinion.

Everyone has met at least one neurotypical who assumed they knew more about autism than an autistic person.

Medical ableism: Goes both directions. Either autistics are treated as if we could not make decisions, even as adults, or our problems are dismissed, especially other symptoms

Sexism: Women much less likely to receive a diagnosis or to be treated for medical problems both. Resources masterpost on autism in women

An article about lack of diagnosis in autistic women

Abuse: Can range from emotional abuse (e.g. guilt tripping, gaslighting) to physical (e.g. provoking a meltdown / sensory overload on purpose), usually both

Generally just ignoring an autistic person’s boundaries.

“Autistics are only worth something if they have a special talent” (basically Rain Man)-> dehumanization in general, “we’re not human for not having certain traits / abilities”

There’s also this huge debate on self-dx (see this post for example). In many places diagnosis is expensive and can have a lot of disadvantages (e.g. looking for jobs). Self-dx involves a shit ton of research, months and years of it, really. (Just like you are doing now!) My humble opinion: Psychologists fuck up as well, see the ableism section.

Here is a post on how to get diagnosed as an adult. And here is a post on self-dx!Here’s my story of getting diagnosed (maybe less relevant, but take it as a real life example)

Media representation of autistic people is unfortunately complete garbage for the most part:

This post has a lot of notes with people telling what irks them about media representation of disability in general.Here is a post on why The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time )a pretty popular book that we read in school as “education” about autism) is a bad representationA post on ableism in the series “Good Doctor”I couldn’t find a cohesive review of the show “Atypical” and I haven’t seen it myself, nor do I intend to, but if you go in the #atypical tag the autistic community is very clear that it’s bullshit (and also backed by Autism Speaks, so big surprise)Billy from the new power rangers is autistic! And from what I’ve heard he’s actually well-written. (A post about what the writers did right.)

Things to avoid (unless you present it in the context of ableism / being negative):

cure rhethoric

functioning labels / mental age rhetoric (See this post)

The distinction aspergers and autism (I can’t find the post explaining in detail why it’s bullshit but here’s the short version: Aspergers is an outdated concept (in the new DSM-V it doesn’t exist anymore, you’re just autistic) and it has been used to separate the “good” autistics from the “bad” (it’s ableist and a functioning label basically)

Here’s also an explanation on Aspie supremacists

emotionless character

person first language (Here is a post on why PFL is bad)

white little boy with special interest in trains (they do exist, but it’s overdone)

he’s autistic BUT- (insert special ability) Click Here

Here is a post explaining our preference for the autism label above othersHere is another post on writing autistic charactersLastly, I recently found a very good post about the difficulty of calling a character autistic in writing, you can check it out here.

I probably forgot a ton of important things, so if anyone wants to add something, please do so; or shoot me a message, whatever is more comfortable.

#dev answers #actually autistic #info masterpost #writing #asd #autism #this took around two hours to type up but it was fun lol

[thedeadflag]

Do you find it problematic for a NB writer to write a NB character who likes to use a packer or realistic strap-on sometimes when they're feeling more inline with the masculine side of gender, but not identifying as a trans man? And to not use it at other times when they're feeling more inline with the feminine side or no side at all? I'm sorry for asking you to educate me, I know it's not your job, but I'm not exactly sure where to start and would like to be safe rather than sorry.

Thiiiiiiiis is a little complex. I want to first say that I’m not going to tell a non-binary person how to write a non-binary character.

However, there can be some important things to keep in mind. I’m going to link to past posts and maybe copy and paste snippets from other posts because I just got back from work, I’m exhausted, and I really don’t have the energy to full on answer this in completion without copying a bunch of stuff I’ve already said.

To open with (CW: just about any horrible thing tied to gender and sexuality and cissexism and transmisogyny), read these posts as easy screeners. I hope they won’t be relevant to you, but it’s important to provide that commentary just in case.

Now, onto snippets

From this post:

There’s a pretty big difference between, say, a trans man considering his dildo and/or packers to be his penis and going about his day to day and engaging in his romantic/sexual relationships (100% valid), … and a cis wlw who considers a dildo attached to a woman to be a penis solely so she can use it as a vehicle to tap into her baggage tied to maleness, male sexual violence, toxic masculinity, etc.

In the former case, it’s considered that guy’s genitalia, flat out. No problems there. It’s what feels natural and comfortable.

In the latter case, it’s only considered genitalia as a means to get off on various taboos and norms related to their unprocessed feelings and thoughts, generally regarding cis heterosexual men. And even when attached to a woman, it’s STILL considered male genitalia in all practicality. Not female genitalia. Not actual genitalia. Still a tool, a vehicle, to achieve a goal.

Which…isn’t anything I consider valid or legitimate acknowledgement of those prosthesis as actual genitalia.

From this post: 

My experience is that outside of trans men (who still can make missteps, for sure, but seem less prone to), cis hetero women and non-men NB afab folks have a pattern of conflating the strap-ons they use in their lives with elements of patriarchal constructs, like toxic masculinity, sexist power dynamics, misogyny, cissexism, compulsory het, etc. and whether they’re just messed up in some bad feminism, or are early on in processing their baggage, those associations are not harmless, and they do work to oppress trans women and amab NB women-aligned folks. It’s people with less potent and material relationships with cissexism that tend to miss the boat here.

Basically, to quote softtrade, “If you automatically associate penises w masculinity and power then what the fuck are you doing”

Because people who do that are only going to continue to cause harm, and if that’s the sort of expression their identity revolves around, they need to get fixed, because that’s bad shit. That’s like cis men thinking they have to get laid to be men, and buying into rape culture to do it and embody manhood. Like, it’s really incredibly clear how bad this sort of shit is.

No one’s saying anyone can’t express masculinity. But if someone’s expression of masculinity revolves around reproducing cissexism, misogyny, toxic masculinity, transmisogyny, etc. in order to “embody masculinity/maleness” then they need serious help, because that sort of thing makes them a very dangerous person. Better to help people unlearn harmful elements of systems of oppression, and lead them to positive elements of what they’re after (in this case, masculinity…because not all masculinity is toxic, obviously)

From this post: 

And like, just standard dildo use in fic makes it much easier to stomach when the sort of toxic masculine cissexist language gets used, because it’s not directly being framed around trans women’s bodies. Like, folks using dildos to enact their “dubcon” rough, demeaning, misogynistic sex is…whatever, really, there’s generally enough separation there unless the author goes out of their way to describe the dildo as if it were in all practicality a penis. I don’t think it’s appropriate to call a strap-on a cock, or a dick, or whatever. I don’t think people can do that while claiming strap-ons and penises are inherently different things. But that’s a lesser issue.  

When it’s g!p/m!c/etc.…that plays on already existing stigmas of trans women as sexual predators, as violent rapists, as actually men/male and inherently more masculine (which is how those characters get passed off as when using language so distinctly tied to toxic male sexuality and male sexual abuse). Like, that’s when consequences come around and hit us square in the chest again and again. When it’s just a dildo, those messages are largely contained. When it’s g!p or anything similar enough to tie trans women to the act, those messages play out and tie to us. There’s a reason why when so many folks think about sex with a penis-owning trans woman, they jump to thoughts about sex with a cis man, and those kind of fics help reproduce that response.

My experience is that outside of trans men (who still can make missteps, for sure, but seem less prone to), cis hetero women and non-men NB afab folks have a pattern of conflating fictional penises, trans women’s penises, and the strap-ons they use in their lives, with elements of patriarchal constructs, like toxic masculinity, sexist power dynamics, misogyny, cissexism, compulsory het, etc. and whether they’re just messed up in some bad feminism, or are early on in processing their baggage, those associations are not harmless, and they do work to oppress trans women and amab NB women-aligned folks. It’s people with less potent and material relationships with cissexism that tend to miss the boat here.

I could probably pull more past quotes of mine, but that should give you an idea of how certain approaches are good, and others are harmful, and this is the case whether we’re dealing with fictional characters or real human beings. Of course, no one can exert the necessary power to stop people from reproducing cissexism and transmisogyny, but it doesn’t hurt to make folks aware of the ways they do so in hopes they might learn to think about certain things in different ways. 

#trans fetishization #transmisogyny #cissexism #creative responsibility #transphobia #fandom meta #genitals tw #genital mention tw #toxic masculinity #compulsory heterosexuality #heteronormativity #misogyny #packers #Anons

[lilietsblog]

some magic worldbuilding stuff we’ve been talking about

@synesthetic-feline

so let's start with the magic system bc its kind of the basis of everything else so first of all, there's a 'weave' of reality which is like elementary particles in physics except in a different 'dismension' (like sideways from those). It has a certain inherent stability to it, like a living system (sorta like a plant I guess? not an animal, much less anything sentient) it 'feeds' on life, positive emotions, constructive 'vibes' (various degrees of abstraction here, people in the world dont necessarily understand it in detail either) it gets more 'worn' from death, strong 'vibes' of despair, fear, hatred like, on a small scale, some negative emotions actually help it thrive, but when they overpower the positives bad shit happens

more specifically about Bad Shit, there's a 'neighbouring' hell-like dismension with demons. the philosophical implications of this do not exist nope it was just something i thought was cool for the plot. The demons feed on negative emotions, misery and death of people - all the same things that the weave gets damaged by. They arent happy in their home dismension, and really want to get some destroy on in the human one.

Human mages can 'move apart' the weave, creating openings demons can pass through (this is not the only thing they can do ofc this is just one example). Demons make deals with them, etc, etc. Demons' magic power varies a lot, and the summoners had better know what exactly they are going for, because there are lots and los of ways this can go wrong.

At one point in the story the protagonist discovers that there are actually demons just living undercover in the human world, not doing anything malicious, just low key feeding on the negative emotions they can pick up from others. Well, obviously some of them also do bad shit deliberately to make others suffer, but the smarter ones realize its not good for their long-term perspectives, and they don't really have to.

Anyway, if there's a lot of bad stuff happening - wars, particularly civil; epidemics; badly handled natural disasters; etc, basically just a lot of misery - the weave can wear thin, and demons can invade the human world, and have to be beaten back

This is relevant to start with because that's how the dynasty in the country the story is in started - the first ruler was someone who was in some way personally credited with defeating the demons (powerful mage and military commander I think). They got a nifty magic trinket - a crown - that gave them a certain power over the land, both symbolizing and providing protection for it. However, over the centuries the crown got corrupted pretty badly, along with the dynasty itself, that went from genuinely good people who happened to be rulers to... yeah.

Magic in this setting is an ability all people have inherent access to, to a greater or lesser degree. Talented folks can try to figure out magic on their own, but overall self-taught ppl can't compare to mages who actually receive a formal education. The standard system is master+student, but in various cultures different variations have sprung up. The main character comes from an entirely different overseas country where she was a daughter of a wealthy merchant who wanted to study magic, so her parents found her a teacher - a strong and learned mage who didn't mind taking on a student, especially when he was getting paid for it. Eventually he went overseas to join the rebellion, and master/student ties in magic tend to end up being close enough that she just followed him without question.

In this country the system was a 'tower' of mages, where they more or less got forcibly locked up and then pampered. Kids who showed talent for magic were scouted, torn away from their families and put into the tower, where they then got no freedom of movement but a lot of freedom of research and of course had all their needs provided for, as long as they carried out what orders their master (the king) decided to give. "No freedom of movement" of course only applied with the asterisk of "unless ordered by the king", with the asterisk being hella broad and allowing them to take on various official, semi-official and unofficial jobs. The king relied heavily on loyal mages as enforcers, which turned the local populace against them and reinforced their loyalty out of desperation. A bad mix of top-down horrible orders you couldn't refuse to carry out, and no consequences for lashing out at anyone who wasn't a government official, led to a lot of atrocities committed in the name of the king that he even didn't necessarily personally order.

Magic works basically by manipulating the 'weave', and requires energy. Some magic energy is generated by the mage themselves, the more they train this ability the more they get; some magic energy 'floats freely' generated by natural sources like life and emotions, and can be 'drawn in' by mages who know how to do that (all formally trained mages know how to do that, the question is duration and area, as ambient magic DOES become depleted). Some magic energy gathers into material stuff like ore or plants or water, which can then be gathered and used. Magic can be done purely with a thought, but the more complex the action you're trying to do, the harder it is to get it right, and words and gestures help a lot with 'fixing' it, like using a ruler while drawing. Objects can be enchanted, which isn't principally different from just generating a one-time effect, and depending on how they are made and what they are for can be single use, rechargeable, automatically recharge from ambient magic or owner, draw from owner's magic directly (bad design but hey people sometimes suck), or just have a permanent effect that doesn't 'use up' magic energy in any outside-visible way. Rituals, especially those involving pre-made magic objects, allow game-changing complexity and scale of spells. A mage who foresees trouble can, given enough time, fortify their personal laboratory/house/tower/keep absolutely out of proportion with their personal power. It's not impossible to break through / unravel such fortifications, but breaking through would require so ridiculously much force, looking for design flaws, inaccuracies and loopholes is a much more productive way of trying to hack it. That, or just trying to lure the mage outside - human factor is the weak point of any security system.

Whenever a magic action is performed, it 'leaks' some energy 'colored' by the effect it was made to do. The more harmless example would be a library that was daily illuminated by 'candle' spells for centuries eventually having faint ambient light even when no-one's there. The less harmless example can be more or less accurately compared with nuclear fallout. The amount of energy leaked depends on the degree of control an individual mage (or a group of mages; it's entirely possible to collaborate when doing magic, much like it's possible to collaborate on any other activity) has over what they're doing. Maybe comparable with how much paint gets on your hands, face, clothes and everything when you're painting. The bigger the spell, the harder it is to make it airtight; on the other hand, the smaller the spell, the less motivation there is to try hard to make it 'tight'. This can depend on an individual mage's style or skill, or on outside circumstances - an unexpected factor can make the process more messy than intended.

The social system of the land was more or less classic feudalism, eventually transitioning into absolute monarchy, as the mage-rulers took more and more power in their hands. Nobles stopped trying to give their children magic education, as it would just mean them getting whisked away to the tower (unless this was the intended result, which was also a thing that happened) (it was a whole Thing with some people, particularly poorer peasants, trying to develop magic so they can attract attention and get taken to the tower, and others desperately hiding their abilities/pursuits to avoid it) (obviously the mage searchers took bribes, though had to be careful to not get caught). Surrounding lands have some forms of feudalism too for the most part, though there's a lot of diversity there (I haven't worked out a lot of that). Neither native nor foreign nobility was particularly happy with how the king treated them; really, nobody was happy about anything he did, with rare exceptions mostly just confirming the rule.

It's hard to say when rebellion first started mounting; it's fair to say the king produced the rebellion himself by cranking down harder and harder on those who dared oppose him even a little bit. Overreactions and power trips of mages who wanted to feel superior to objectively freer people resulted in villages, towns and whole regions being wiped from the face of the earth, survivors banding together into either various rebellious movements or just bandit gangs. Rise of banditry led to more unrest, unrest led to prosecution, and so the wheel turned. Eventually, the very big majority of rebellious movements managed to unite under a single banner, with a group of charismatic leaders who were more or less agreed upon as the new rulers when the rebellion wins. Nobody really had the concept of democracy, the idea was changing dynasties.

Changing dynasties in this case was actually a more complicated thing than just toppling a government, because of the whole magic thing. As the country was a whole and single concept in the minds of the people, so the magic bent to actually make it so, and tie it to the crown/rulers. It's kind of complicated, because it's not purely 'whatever people think is true goes', but it is influenced heavily by people's 'mindscape' and also a dozen other factors that nobody keeps track of except particularly dedicated mage researchers... who in this country could be find exclusively in the tower. Rebel mages kind of had more immediate&important things to worry about, and even when someone thought about it, the thought was dismissed with 'let's take it one step at a time; it can't possibly get worse than it is right now' (see: nuclear fallout)

In the last phase of the war, the army + guard mostly switched over to the rebels' side, the problem being the king had long stopped relying on them. It was him and his mages vs everyone else, more or less, with civilian population just submitting to whoever was present.

The Big Final Confrontation was a big battle between the rebellion forces and the king. All people who were meant to evenatually rule the country were there, leading the troops, this being the only possible way people would actually follow them into what was very likely to be a suicide charge. On the other hand, a big layer of students / aides / next in commands was left out of the battle entirely as backup. This proved a wise decision as the battle did in fact end with a suicide attack - the king managed to set up a spell that would destroy the entire rebellion army, and the best the rebellion mages could do was disrupt it so it would detonate, destroying the king himself and his not-very-big-in-size army, AND a huge chunk of rebellion forces that were closer to them, including the mages themselves.

This left the victorious army basically without leadership, and the factually-kids left behind had to quickly figure out what to do. The reason the protagonist ended up in charge was just because she was the one to start telling disoriented others what to do now. She was just an apprentice mage, she didn't really expect to be looked to as a ruler, but she took on the responsibility more or less by accident and had to stick with it.

So, she was left with a ravaged country still actively in the process of destroying itself (remember, banditry, and non-aligned rebellion movements)... and the king's treasury, which she took a look at and went 'holy shit what'. And then she took a look at financial books and went 'holy shit what' a second time.

There was enough money to literally rebuild the whole country... the question was how to organize it (popular rebellions: not the most disciplined of forces) and how to not end up being a tyrant herself.

The plan she came up was was to organize a big big harvest festival in all more or less big population centers all over the country and invite a lot of foreign traders with a lot of goods to it - as much as she estimated would be needed to, in fact, rebuild the country. (The calculations on that were not done instantly and not on her own obviously). The festival would start with a census, where each person, including kids, would give their name, have their 'unique magic imprint' taken, and be given a pretty large sum of money. This would double as a pardon for any past banditry, assuming they did not get caught doing the same thing again. There are a lot of logistical difficulties with it, starting with 'what about people who can't come' proceeding to 'how many mages do we need to do this' and so on and so forth. Well, the revolution happened in the beginning of April, and she has until mid-September (the traditional harvest festival time) to coordinate the whole thing. And figure out what to do with cleanup of land and so so so many other problems (I spent many hours figuring out those problems I don't remember all of it now and I wouldn't be able to write all of them out anyway) (the long term plan is to do this same thing, festival, census and all, every year, because the crown's income is ridiculous and the structures ensuring it still more or less work, the king wasn't /that/ stupid)

One thing she decided on from the very beginning was take the tower as her own. She did keep them under a sort of 'house arrest' from the beginning, but they were not persecuted in any way. Obviously the populace would have problems with it and want to bring them to justice for what they did, but also if she let them do what they wanted they'd just burn down the whole tower and there were /kids/ there, not to mention mages are never not a significant asset. Given access to the king's personal stuff she wouldn't have problems controlling them, and she did need them. This was its own Whole Big Storyline about how she handled it, with individual approach and a lot of showmanship and focusing on giving people the impression that they were heard and believed rather than actual justice.

(There was also its own Whole Big Storyline with her burning out from trying to personally do everything just so she'd be legitimized in people's eyes)

Also she didn't want to take the crown from the beginning, despite everyone thinking she should, if only to make the situation clear and stable in the eyes of foreign powers. Then some facts came to light, and the sum of it was: the complete and absolute shit happening in the country for the last several years weakened the weave, and there's an impending demon invasion. Theoretically it's not yet too late, and if she manages to keep the peace and make everyone happy and make a lot of good vibes happen, the weave might yet hold... but she definitely shouldn't even touch the crown, as it has a lot of Bad Vibes in it by now, and as it was originally an artifact of the land's /protection/ from demons, 'activating' it again via a coronation ceremony would only make things that much worse for the country, not to mention it'd be pretty bad for the ruler personally. On the other hand, if she beats back a demonic invasion, either by force or by peace, she'll pretty much earn her own right to rule the land regardless of the old crown. Hell, she's /already/ earning it by doing everything she does.

So as far as specific questions go:

1) how did he rize to power? he inherited the throne, I think there was a bit of infighting over the crown among relatives and that had its own separate plot with a 'legitimate heir' popping up, but in the end he won out in the family intrigues

2) what prevented the revolt of hiz kingdom, thoze opprezzed to the point of zuicidal urgez gathering in one place? nothing. they did it. repeatedly and consistently. eventually it worked

3) what finally brought him down? see above: a big fucking climactic battle with his own spell detonating on him in the end

4) why didnt thiz happen before it happened? because he was a powerful ruler with a powerful base of mages who had to support his rule or greet an angry mob. It was a combination of random luck, slowly developing the organization over the years, and deterioration of the king's own support structure (there were renegade tower mages in the rebellion too, to give one example) that eventually overcame that

5) what waz the extent of hiz magic ability? that's a Really Good Question. He inherited a fuckton of ready-made magical power in magical items, including the palace itself (the defense spell system being one aspect of what it did), but he was also powerful enough personally to exploit it to its fullest potential. In the end it came down less to his personal 'power' (the amount of energy he could put in a single spell cast from his mind with no external aid) and more to his cunning, sheer nerdery (there was... a lot of creative demonology behind the scenes, and a huge part of demonology is just extensive research of every aspect of what you're going to try beforehand) and full grasp of resources he had at his disposal. Whether he would or would not win an all-out no-external-aid magic duel with the protagonist, or any other rebellion mage, is literally irrelevant. Nobody was fighting fair.

6) where did the kingdom get food? this is another Very Good Question. The country was fucking d e s t r o y e d. A lot of kingdom... simply didn't, and this is one of the problems the protagonist has to contend with. It's worth noting: - the strong foreign support the rebellion was getting, including some food supplies. Nobody wanted the fucker in charge of that world's equivalent of majority of oil wells; - the simple hedge magic a lot of villagers could do to augment their farming. This had to be kept secret from the government, but then, those mages wouldn't know what to look for, for the most part, as this kind of magic, cooperating with the land rather than forcing your will on it, was an entirely different branch than what was studied in the tower. Sure, some who came from there themselves would know, but they also knew this would mean going after literally everyone, and that particular kind of magic was no threat to anything, it was literally just particularly potent harmony with nature; - the economy of the crown getting rich on selling off magic items was built on exploiting the big magic sources, but in this country there were also a lot of tiny ones, that - see above - permitted the land to be a lot more productive than it should have been. Before the nuclear fallout shit, there was no such thing as a 'lean year' in this country, and hunger was basically unheard-of. This entire thing was a purely political problem. (so, yes, overall the answer is 'farming in villages')

7) what level of zcarcity and poverty waz there? See above: no want for food at least, until civil war started destroying everything. However, the state basically hogged all the magic resources that weren't small enough to escape their notice, so magic items were only marginally more common than in other countries. This wasn't always this way, the situation developed gradually as this specific dynasty deteriorated over the last several generations;

8) waz it a police ztate? "police" sounds to me like a much more modern concept, idk what 'police state' would mean Way Back When. But mages were being sent all over the country 'inspecting' and harshly punishing anything wrong, more and more so, so sort of?

9) waz there brainwazhing? if zo, what are the repercuzzionz that your protagonizt haz to face? not really, no. The king relied on brute force to get across his point. The closest is the tower, but mages there had an overall pretty good idea of the situation they were in, though their coping methods were often not the best;

10) how doez the kingdom deal with hygine? how doez that differ between economic clazzez? iz magic involved, and if zo, how zo? how doez that change with the protag? I'm personally a bit of a filthy pig so congratulations you hit on a question I have never thought of before. I'd have to say that in other countries, the ones where magic is available to anyone with money to pay for access, yes, magic piping and plumbing and deodorants and everything are definitely a thing for rich people, and the protagonist probably grew up seeing this as the norm. On the other hand, in this country, and others where magic is more restricted, 'magic hygiene' would come in the form of rare curiosity items. That is, among the common folk - mage laboratories, particularly old and well-equipped ones like the tower, have magic everything, including teleportation circles instead of elevators. Otherwise it's usual historical stuff... which I have no idea what it would specifically be for that climate and perios ahaha *hides*

11) do you have a ztory to tell on a zmaller and grander zcale then the ztory of economiez, that which iznt life itzelf but a facsimile carried out by it'z people? I'm not sure how to parse this question but most of the meat of the story is the protag figuring out her personal relationship with powre, so, IDK??? There are also other characters I like, like one of the aforementioned demons and a 'mundane prophet' (its a scientific term in-universe) maid and her tower mage war criminal brother and the young mage kid and the guy with a connection to the goddess of luck who ends up being her mentor though he isn't even that much of a mage and the ex-tower mage who ended up being in charge of the tower now that the rebellion won and I D K if this answers your question at all

12) what'z the landzcapez? THIS IS A VERY GOOD IDEA I NEED TO GIVE MORE THOUGHT TO. "Exactly like Ukraine" is a bad lazy answer, given the land is sort of alive and shaped a lot by its natural magic >_> but climate-wise, yeah, mostly like Ukraine. There are forests and plains and hills, mostly, with the southeastern border being mostly uninhabited mountains. There is a sea to east/northeast, with the mountains cutting off most of the coastline from the rest of the country. The capital is to the south. I don't know I'm getting vertigo trying to translate the vague mental image I have in my head into actual geographical directions )=

13) what kind of dancing are there? feztivalz? immigration? muzic? Another thing I never thought of... I'm sorry I'm so uninterested in the specifics of some of these that I can just answer 'regular folk dancing with regular folk music'. I literally have no idea how to tell folk music of my own country from folk music of any other European country and the only reason I know our folk dancing is because gopak is a meme. You don't want me trying to figure out these things anyway >_< Immigration was a thing back before the Bad Times, the country was fairly ethnically diverse and still is I guess, in bigger cities skin color variations are barely more memorable than hair color, and in the rural areas closer to the borders too. Festivals are A Thing that was part of the plotline I was figuring out, with the whole nature magic thing. Definitely a harvest festival, of course.

14) what waz there before he took over? how did hiz rule effect all of theze? Overall, the biggest effect is that people are poorer, and more focused on immediate survival. Nobody wants to stick out, nobody knows when a mage will decide that a festival is not respectful enough to the king and level a village. The bigger cities and the most backwater nobody-even-knows-they-exist villages are the two opposites that managed to keep more of the culture - cities were more integrated with the mages' 'policing' even before the Bad Times and so had less to adjust, and the most backwater villages avoided the worst of it. Tiny towns and big villages, those of it that survived, basically stopped any kinds of public celebrations at all. The protag organizing a big harvest festival will not interfere with anyone's pre-existing plans, there. (That she's foreign is a non-factor here, it's not like she's going to be personally micromanaging it, there's lots of people to delegate this particular part to)

15) doez magic work through the human body? more like through the human mind, but body is if not -the- source of energy, at leasts a very important one

16) iz it languaged bazed? no, any verbal formulas are purely to help spellcasters focus. Although given the whole 'magic affected by human concepts' thing, certain phrasings that are only ever used in magic (antiquated words, dead languages) might take on some power of their own. Basically the language basis is: if the spellcaster knows what they're saying and what they're intending to do by it, it works. If they are trying to blindly repeat a spell in a language they don't know without any idea how it works... maybe don't?

17) what'z the power zource? It can be basically summed up as Life. Life is not caused by magic, instead magic is caused by life. Dead worlds like our moon have no magic at all, other than the kind tied to what people think of these places

18) iz it through zpiritz? It can be! Many different kinds of entities that can be called 'spirits' exist. However, this is not the kind that is 'mainstream' in the tower, nor the kind the protagonist focused on when learning. They would know a little about it, like the basic fact it exists and the common principles that apply to it as well as to other kinds of magic, but overall are profoundly ignorant on this matter

19) through permiating magical energy? magic both uses up and generates ambient magic energy, yeah

20) iz it through perzonal power of zoulz? among other things, yes. If, say, two mages with vastly different abilities swapped bodies, the resulting magical abilities of both of them would be a weird fusion of what each of them separately was good at

21) iz it through perzonal power of zoulz? gods exist! like, pagan gods. none other than the goddess of luck came up so far though

22) unholy power? demons have magical power of their own, that is distinctly different in quality from that humans use, and does not interact with the weave much. It is both stronger and weaker, depending how you look at it. A demon could not learn human magic, and humans can not access demonic powers either, but various pacts are possible that allow cooperation or even merging of powers. Straight up work for hire is the most common form though

23) can it be obtained by zacrifice? how would you define zacrifice? ability to use magic, in itself, no; magical energy, yes, in many different ways. For example, it can be granted by a divine entity that likes having sacrifices made to it; more direct 'natural' transformations are possible, like draining life from something living (though this is horribly inefficient and can be compared to burning down the house to keep warm in winter); or for example, blood holds power and blood magic is A Thing

24) doez an offering of pain count? in this specific setting, this is counterproductive to human magic but makes one possible currency when dealing with demons (who feed on pain)

25) what kind of recreational drugz are there? this question sounds weirdly specific to me, and yet is wholly legitimate. Alcohol probably exists, though I'm not sure if I'd even referenced it once in the story proper; I could easily cut it out and make the recreatinal drug scene much weirder if I wanted to. Overall, I would say recreational drugs aren't widespread in this particular country (though for wealthy people there are no doubt all kinds of imports)

26) where do they come from? how doez pharmiceauticalz work? how doez magic come into play with all of thiz? I absolutely love that you asked this question, because I had not considered this before and yet it falls Within My Sphere Of Interest. First of all, there's alchemy: mixing ingredients and magic spells, producing a very weird and diverse variety of effects, though usually not very strong compared to what casting a spell on a 'solid' object can do. (An enchanted branch can be a thousand times more powerful than an enchanted potion, but an enchanted potion can have a weirdly precise effect that a branch would need to be worked at by generations of masters to achieve) Second of all, there's magic in nature: some plants can heal just because they have healing magic stored in them, regardless of what kind of plant they are (though watching out for poison shit is still, y'know, prudent). And third, there's regular folk knowledge of plants and what they do, extending into apothecaries in cities and private doctors tending the rich. There was no any kind of religion-based persecution of, say, wise women who know how to heal people with herbs (at least not in this country), so this remains a respected skillset transfered from parent to child. There are people (more often, yes, women) who specialize with it, but most people who grow up in the country would know what to brew against cough, what to put on a wound to prevent infection, and a couple of more complex family recipes.

27) how widezpread iz the availability of magic? See above: varies by country. A lot depends on how much 'natural' magic is in a specific place; rest assured this country is not the only magic-rich one in the world (though the only one with quite as many big concentrated sources). A lot depends on politics and availability of formal learning. There is the top-down direction of magic spreading, with wisened mages teaching their students arcane mysteries, and there's the grassroots direction, that includes anything from charlatans with annoyingly real disappearing coin tricks to thieves who manage to figure out how to blend with shadows to soldiers whose weapons seem to be blessed by gods of war to farmers who know how to get on the good side of the land. 'Mundane prophet' is its own category: people who get visions, prophetic dreams and other kinds of comes-out-of-nowhere knowledge without ever trying or even wanting to have it. They are, however, generally a sign of the weave weakening and the demonic invastion being imminent )=

28) can it be uzed pazzively or accidentally? On one hand, I want to say no, but on the other hand, with this system of magic I don't really feel like saying no to anything. In some magic traditions and in some environmental conditions (A LOT depends on natural and ambient magic), it probably can. Maybe you can define "I don't know anything about magic but I'm trying really hard to achieve this result I want and it weirdly seems to be working" as "accidentally" (OK, now that I'm thinking about ambient magic and particularly ambient lingering side effects: a person can 'activate' them with their thoughts if they are particularly strong/concentrated somewhere. This wouldn't technically be the person doing the magic, but then again, if they did it knowingly on purpose it might as well be)

29) are people born with it? People are born with a degree of affinity for interacting with the weave, but just as much depends on natural+ambient magic where they were growing up. A kid in a mage family, in a house where some magic is always happening, would have a stronger magical affinity than this same kid growing up in different circumstances and never encountering magic at all. What affinity influences is basically how easy it is for a person to use magic; however, there are lots of different ways to use magic (see: spirits, for example), and people's affinities can take on very different shapes. Partly this is actually cultural, influenced by a sort of collective subconscious: mages from different countries might find entirely different things easier or harder, with overlappng variations between individuals

30) do zome people not have accezz to magic, and if zo, how many and why? First of all, there are places with very little to no 'natural' magic. While ambient magic will exist anywhere there's anything living, lack of natural magic means lack of people instinctively interacting with it, doing the grassroots sort of casual magic. For children who grow up in this kind of land in a remote area that doesn't have formally educated mages, it's entirely possible to never encounter any kind of magic at all. Second of all, there are simply people who don't have access to formal education. Interacting with natural magic is very limited in terms of what you can do - mostly just what nature wants you to do - and people who can only do that and don't have the passion to stubbornly hone this ability until they can access their own energy as well might as well be cut off from magic. Most people belong to this category. Third, it's not impossible for a person to be born with zero magical affinity at all. Natural+ambient magic and inborn affinity are multiplied, not added, so someone who's a zero could never learn any magic at all. It's very rare, though, and if born to a family with a magic tradition could be regarded as a sort of disability. This person could still do certain kinds of demonology and interaction with spirits and divine magic though; gods don't care about magic affinity in picking who they interact with and gift with power. Those things are obscure in the country the story is taking place in, but in some cultures, or even specific places, it might well be a default thing for any person to learn when growing up, making their 'zero' affinity even less relevant than it is for people with simply no access to magic learning at all.

31) how doez magic effect the flora and fauna of your zetting?? VARIOUSLY. Normal farming looks mostly the same, but deep forests, mountains and swamps can look veeeery differently than in our world :> (This applies mostly to places with a lot of natural magic, of course; and in an entirely different way, to places with strong ambient effects. You maybe want to stay away from those latter ones)

#my ocs #sort of #worldbuilding #magic

[writers-leir]

soulmate!non-idol!jihoon

soulmate!non-idol!woozi

the words written on your wrist are “you should be the one saving me not the other way around”

it’s strange but you never really paid it much attention

you’re always too busy with your education

you’ve known what you wanted to do since you were like 10

so you entire middle/high school career was dedicated to working towards that

and to stay near home, you apply for a university that’s quite well known for their music curriculum

surprise surprise that’s where woozi aka lee jihoon applied to

you,,,tend to stay away from the music buildings unless you hAVE to be there

because some of the students are quite mean

you’ve heard of more than one incidence where younger students have been bullied to the point of actually dropping out???????? and that kind of terrifies you

one night as you’re returning to your dorm you see a few senior music students standing in a huddle

it’s not until you get closer that you realize?????there’s someone in the middle of them?????with bright pink hair???????

you hear bits and pieces of the conversation like “don’t think you’re so great just because the teacher liked your project best”

you want to roll your eyes at that because,,,,,,,,,let’s be honest that sounded like something out of a drama

you’re tempted to help because,,,,,,,,,the guy looks pretty small,,,,,,and the seniors are like towers compared to him

but at the same time you’re terrified that they’ll try to get you too and you honestly just wanted to go through your university life in peace

unTiL one of the seniors pushes the guy and obviously because of the size difference the pink haired kid goes stumbling backwards and falls to the ground

and you notice that the seniors have grabbed his bag, and are starting to look through it

and that’s a nO in your books because ??????????? the kid worked hard for whatever grade he got do nOt try to steal his work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you shout out to them

“hEY!!!!! back off!!!!!!!!!!!!”

they turn to look at you and you’re like oh sh-,,,,,,,,they’re so big,,,,,,,,,,,i’m dead,,,,,,,,,,

but you put on a brave face because!!!!!!!i got myself into this to save a fellow student i can dO THIS

you tackle the middle one and while they’re still dazed and shocked you grab the bag and the guy’s arm and yell “run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

he’s still kind of in shock so he follows you without questions

until he realizes that the guys are,,,,,following you guys and you’re not the fastest runner in the universe

he speeds up, dragging you along with him until you guys are safe far away

and you're dYing on the ground like omg i can’t believe i just ran a marathon

when he catches his breath he looks at you and says “you should be the one saving me not the other way around” and you recognize the words instantly

“my soulmate almost got beaten up oh my god”

you both kind of stare at each other like,,,,,,,,,,,,this was,,,,,,,,,,,quite an eventful meeting,,,,,,,,

you hold out your hand for him to take it and introduce yourself to which he reluctantly gives you his hand to shake

“i’m lee jihoon. nice to meet you”

and it gets a bit awkward so you’re like well,,,,,,,,i have to go,,,,,,,,so i’ll see you around,,,,,,,,,,,,,

when you get back to your dorm you’re like wait did i really say see you around to my soULMATE/???????????

and your roommate is laughing at you because you forgot to ask for his number too

he kind of becomes second and even third priority a week later as you start worrying about school work and finding an actual job for income

it’s not until three weeks later that you actually meet him again

in the exact same situation,,,,,,,,,,with your roles flipped,,,,,,,,

it’s actually pretty funny though once you think about it

the bullies from before seem to want revenge and you were just walking back to your dorm again super late in the night when they cornered you

and you’re like askdgjasdga i just had a presentation in one of my toughest courses please don’t do this tonight

but of course they’re not gonna listen to you

and you’re honestly just like liSTEN i do not have time for this

before they can do anything though, a voice yells out

“hey! back off!”

and it sounds vaguely familiar you just can’t put your mind to work

until you see the pink hair and you’re like whAt and suddenly wide awake because,,,,,is your soulmate,,,,,who’s half the size of the bullies,,,,,,really going to fight them for you

but of course your soulmate is smarter than you and thought ahead because he had four friends with him

and the bullies seem to recognize his friends and are like oh,,,,,,we should leave,,,,,,before they reach us,,,,,,,,,and they bolt for it before you even realize

your staring into space when they reach you and your soulmate’s like hey,,,,,,,are you okay?? they didn’t hurt you did they?

you shake your head automatically and mumble out a thanks

and the tallest of his friends is like hey,,,,,,,jihoon,,,,she looks half dead maybe you should walk her back to her dorm to make sure nothing else happens

and you’re like oh you don’t have to it’s really late you probably have to get back too

he waves it off saying “nah it’s fine i have to go to the studio later to record something anyways”

so you nod absentmindedly as he walks you back to your dorm

you know he probably feels really awkward but you just feel too tired to even bother trying to strike up conversation

when you reach the building you thank him before turning to enter the building but then he stops you

“i know it’s kind of weird to know who your soulmate is but not be able to talk to them so would you like to,,,,,exchange numbers? we don’t have to go on any dates or anything we can start as friends”

and you’re honestly like bless you you’re an angel because you honestly didn’t want to think about dating or anything because you barely know the guy

you give him your number and you’re like listen don’t message me between 3 and 10 am i am most definitely not awake

he nods and gives you a really shy grin which makes your heart skip and you’re like oh,,,,,my god,,,,,,,it’s 2 am and i just realized that i have the cutest soulmate,,,,,,,

you two converse primarily by phone and eventually start meeting up to go get lunch

and none of you have brought up the soulmate thing again but you know that it’s still somewhere there in both your minds

but you like what you two have because this way you’re really getting to know each other

you know that he’s a music major (one of the best according to the professors and his friends) and he’s extremely passionate about it

and you also know he normally spends the night at the studio that he was assigned so normally you’re the reason why he actually gets out to eat food and not some leftover pizza seungkwan and seokmin had brought the last time they went to help him record something

you honestly kind of want to hear his music but you know he’s not the most open about this stuff so you don’t ask him about it

one day after not having heard from him for three days you message one of his friends asking

they reply telling you that the last thing heard from him was that he was working on a song

you go to his studio (after asking his friend to tell you where it was) and literally,,,,,,,,,the entire floor is covered with pizza boxes and ramen cups and you’re like this is,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,extremely unhealthy,,,,,,,,,i’m gonna drag him out to get some proper food

you find him sleeping on his keyboard and you’re like seriously,,,,,,,,what am i,,,,,,,,,,

you shake him awake and when he wakes up you see the bags under his eyes and you’re like okay nope you’re getting out of this studio right now to go take a shower and then i’m taking you out for lunch

surprisingly he willingly follows you as you walk him back to his dorm so he can shower and change

when seungcheol opens the door for you he’s like woah,,,,,,,you actually managed to get lee jihoon to leave his studio

he helps you get jihoon to the bathroom and you wait in their living room area while he gets jihoon to fix himself up

when you two sit down at the cafe with the food you finally ask him

“why haven’t you messaged me in three days? i know that music is the most important thing to you but you have to take care of yourself too”

“it’s for my final project. i’ve been trying to figure out if it matches better with seokmin’s voice or seungkwan’s but neither of the demos sounds good”

you sit there like mhmmm

and then you’re like !!!!!!!!! what if i tried??

jihoon looks genuinely shocked but not in the bad way

“well you’ve only been having guys sing. maybe it’ll work better with a girl’s voice?”

jihoon honestly looks so relieved he looks like he had ten years added back to his life

after you two record a demo he lets you listen to it with the biggest grin on his face

“thank you,,,,,,honestly you saved my life”

“noooOooO!!!!!!! i just suggested something!!!!”

he just continues to grin but then gives you a hug and you’re like o h!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ok!!!!!!!!!!! and you hug him back

three weeks later when you go see him at his studio he shows you his grade and you’re like omg!!!!!!jihoon you got an A+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that’s?????????????amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m so proud

he still has the super cute grin on

“i couldn’t have done it without you”

and suddenly he gets all shy and you’re like ?????are you okay???????

and really quietly in a whisper he asks you out

and you’re like

honestly,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,yes,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

so yeah you and jihoon are a pretty calm couple like if you’re not at his studio you’re probably at your dorm napping or out eating pizza at crazy hours

you’re also his good luck charm so whenever he has a recital or just a project you can bet your lunch money that you’re going to be nearby cheering him on

his friends are all really grateful to you because before you two starting going out he was the person staying at the studio for a week without stopping

but now that you’re dating you’ve started to drag him out more often so he gets fresh air and so he can stretch his limbs

he’s also really protective of you

like those bullies came after you one more time and this time jihoon went all crazy on them whipping out his guitar to teach them a lesson

no one dared bother you ever again after that

#jihoon #lee jihoon #woozi #lee jihoon imagines #lee jihoon au #lee jihoon fluff #lee jihoon scenarios #jihoon scenarios #jihoon fluff #jihoon au #jihoon imagines #woozi imagines #woozi scenarios #woozi fluff #woozi au #seventeen au #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #kpop au #kpop fluff #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #seventeen #kpop

[regular-lord-reckoner]

We Need to Talk About Kevin, I Mean Otayuri

Alright, so let’s talk about Otayuri, age of consent, pedophilia, and abusive relationships for a minute. (This is gonna get long, but please bear with me)

So, like most issues that exist, you’ve got people on at least two pretty distinct sides (and a bunch that fall somewhere in the middle).

There are those who feel like the shipping of these two is absolutely, completely wrong for a variety of reasons and those who feel like the shipping of these two is absolutely, completely a-okay for a variety of reasons.

So, let’s talk about some of those and I’ll share with you my perspective on the situation, shall we?

Obviously one of the biggest issues that comes up is the age of consent. When talking about these characters in particular it becomes a little tricky because they both come from different countries and the show itself is Japanese.

According to a little research, the age of consent for both Russia and Kazakhstan is 16. For Japan it’s 13 (which…yikes on bikes).

Now, this becomes important because there’s a lot of speculation about how to view the ages of both characters.

In terms of where the show itself has left off, where season one ended, Yuri was still 15. His birthday is at the beginning of March and so it’s assumed that unless the show decides to go back in time, if/when we get a season 2 he’ll be 16 (although if the show picks up literally where it left off he’s probably still 15 and I’d guess maybe two months out from 16? It’s hard to tell. Yuuri’s hair has gotten longer in the last shot, so we know at least some time has passed since December, but it’s unclear how much. Chances are, though, being that the show itself took place in essentially real time, by the time a second season is out we’ll have passed that point and hell, Yuri may even be 17 by the time we get another season, who knows.) 

Otabek’s age is a little more unclear. Several times in the show his age is listed as 18 until towards the end of the season where Celestino says he’s 19. Otabek’s birthday is at the end of October and although a great deal of time passes from the beginning of the season to the end (Yuuri mentions something along the lines of “I can’t believe it’s already been 8 months…”) during Viktor’s narration which takes place in December he says Otabek is 18, so we didn’t pick up another birthday for him, therefore I’m more inclined to think he’s actually 18 and that Celestino was just mistaken or perhaps it was an accident on behalf of one of the writers.

But so essentially we’re dealing with a 15/16 year old and an 18/possibly 19 year old.

Now, first off something I’ve noticed from the opposed side is that they tend to cite American laws of consent, but there is an issue there and that is that American laws of consent are not the same across the board, but rather determined by state.

In the US, consent is set anywhere from 16 to 18 years of age with the most common being 16 years of age. Obviously then this makes it hard trying to apply American law to this situation because neither character lives in America and therefore we can’t say, “Oh, well Otabek is from New York, so the age of consent for him would be 17!”

That being the case, I think it’s more appropriate to use their own countries as what we hold them to in legal terms, because different countries have different ideas and laws about other behaviors as well that are considered “for adults only” such as drinking, driving, voting, buying cigarettes, renting a car, etc., etc.

So, as it would stand right now, if we’re to take the view of Yuri still being 15 because that’s where the show left him, then yes, a relationship between he and Otabek would not be okay in either country as he is under the age of consent.

By the time the show comes back, though (and lord I hope it does) Yuri will likely be 16 and therefore legally able to consent.

Now listen…I don’t like the idea of a 16 year old having sex as much as the next guy. I think that’s too young, I think that age is too immature to really handle something like that, but I teach sex ed to middle and high schoolers and I know better. They’re doing it.

Fortunately, last I checked (and this is American statistics but still) only like 47% of high schoolers are sexually active, which is less than half. And if I’m not mistaken, I think it’s actually lower than that now, so that’s somewhat good news!

Also, teen pregnancy rates have been on the decline over the past few decades, although they’re still not great they are going down. Unfortunately, however, teen STD rates are going up.

Of the 20 million new STD cases reported each year, about half are from young people ages 15-24. 

So, whether we like it or not, these little fuckers are out here boning down on each other and they’re not being particularly careful about it either, which is discouraging, but part of why I do what I do.

Unfortunately, however, in the state in which I work there are very strict laws about sex education, specifically that we’re to promote abstinence emphatically and exclusively and that we cannot promote the use of contraceptives and birth control and may only give medically accurate information about such if a student asks a question about them in good faith (which means they don’t ask just to get a rise out of me or the class).

These laws are born, I think, out of this mindset that a lot of adults have that sex isn’t for teens and therefore they should only be given the bare minimum amount of information, lest you inadvertently encourage them to become sexually active. (This mindset, btw, is also what I believe drives adults to deny kids and teens the validity of their gender identity and sexual orientations, although the situations are not quite the same the underlying idea of a teenager being too young/too immature to be able to handle/know about certain things is of the same thread.) 

And again, like…in some part I agree. I teach these kids, I see how a lot of them still can’t handle having a mature conversation about puberty and am horrified every time one of says they think the “pull out method” is an effective way to prevent pregnancy (joke’s on you, kid, it’s actually the way most teens end up getting pregnant!)

If I had it my way, I’d give these kids some coloring books and juice boxes and sit their asses in front of cartoons all day long because the older you get, the more people younger than you look like infants. Hell, even by my senior year of high school I was looking at freshman thinking, “You’re just babies, what are you doing here??? Who let you out of daycare?!?!?”

I also had a 15 year old insist to me that her personality is going to stay the same for the rest of her life and that she’s pretty much already matured as much as she’s ever going to and I just…I hated to be “that adult” but I had to gently point out to her that while for the most part, yes, her personality may stay more or less the same that her brain hasn’t even finished growing.

You don’t reach full brain development until around your mid-twenties and one of the last things to fully develop is your prefrontal cortex area which is responsible for things like personality, decision-making, and impulse control. Y’know, things we tend to think of younger people struggling with.

That being said, I’m not one of these people that thinks teenagers are just sacks of jumbled hormones who can’t be trusted with any level of responsibility and who have no levels of maturity whatsoever. That’s certainly not true.

A lot of kids at that age slowly begin to take on responsibilities like learning how to drive, how to manage their own money, and maybe even have a part-time job, as well as already looking into higher education or which field of work they’d like to enter once they graduate.

Teenagers do possess a certain capacity for these things and so I’m not writing them off entirely, I’m just saying I can sympathize with those who look at them and think, “God, you’re so young, though, you shouldn’t be trusted with something so important…” because it’s hard not to look back at your own youth and think, “Wow, I really thought I had it all figured out then, but I didn’t know shit!”

(Then again, I still do assert that I was pretty mature for my age. While of course I wasn’t completely there, I was more mature than what you’d expect from a typical teenager, although perhaps I’m a little biased in saying so, who knows.)

So, okay, we’ve established that we understand why some people can’t fathom the thought of teens who are sexually active, I gotcha, I’m right there with ya. But again, I think we need to be realistic and come to terms with the fact that, like it or not, they are.

If at age 16 Yuri decides to become sexually active, I may not like it, but he will legally be able to consent and his behavior wouldn’t be some drastic deviation from the norm. If he were to live in America, he’d still be in that less than half percentage of those who are, but it’s still pretty close to half and therefore not really that unheard of.

From a legal standpoint, then, at age 16 there’s nothing technically wrong. He’s well within his rights at that point. At 15, no, but 16, yes.

Now, I see a lot of people from the in favor side who are very transparent about the fact that they wouldn’t ship Yuri and Otabek together until Yuri’s 16 anyway, some saying not even until he’s 18 or until they’re both in their twenties because they want these characters to have time to get to know one another as friends first and then perhaps something romantic will develop as time goes on. This is also in conjecture with the idea that just because two people are dating doesn’t automatically mean they’re having sex, and in fact, I’ve seen a lot of headcanons for both Yuri and Otabek that view them as being asexual, so there’s that as well.

One of the ways of thinking about their situation, therefore, is to put it in a realistic context and realize that age-wise, this is the equivalent of a sophomore and a senior in high school dating.

Another way of looking at it is that Otabek is eighteen. Teen. He’s still a teenager. He will remain a teenager until he’s twenty. Even though, at least in the US, he’d be allowed to vote and buy cigarettes, he’s still technically a teen, so we’re talking about two teenagers dating. And again, a 16 and 18 year old dating isn’t really that uncommon.

Now, here’s where I take issue with something. I see a lot of people on the opposed side calling Otabek a “grown ass man”. I…don’t know how many 18 year olds you know, but I would hardly classify them as “grown ass” individuals.

Here again, an 18 year old’s brain hasn’t even finished growing yet and although an 18 year old is likely to be a little more mature than a 16 year old, we’re not talking about drastic leaps and bounds in maturity the same way we would between someone who’s 12 and someone who’s 16.  

I think people use this terminology to support the idea that “Otayuri is pedophilia” in which by painting Otabek as a “grown ass man” and Yuri as “a literal child” it sounds a lot worse than what it really is which, again, if we don’t put these two together until Yuri’s 16 is a ~two year age gap. Hardly that scandalous and also not what pedophilia is, but I do on the other hand understand why it makes some people uncomfortable and that’s okay! (It’s not okay that you’re uncomfortable, but your feelings are valid, is what I’m saying)

I know a lot of people like to get real technical at this point in the argument and talk about pedophilia per definition, so let’s talk about that.

Merriam-Webster dictionary describes pedophilia as: sexual perversion in which children are the preferred sexual object; specifically: a psychological disorder in which an adult has sexual fantasies about or engages in sexual acts with a prepubescent child.

Therefore, a lot of people argue that using the term pedophilia isn’t exactly accurate because Yuri’s not really prepubescent. Now, from where I sit, I know the onset of puberty can begin anywhere from 9 to 16 years old, it depends on the person and typically “boys” are later than “girls”.

Yuri describes during the show how he knows he has a short window before his body begins to change, which prompts some to think that perhaps he hasn’t begun puberty yet. This one’s difficult, because it’s not likely we’re going to get a solid answer on, “Hey, when will/did Yuri start puberty?”

He’s on the shorter side right now (5’4) and it’s hard to tell with an animated character how defined his features really are, although he does appear to have some muscle tonnage in spite of his skinny physique so that tells me he’s at least experiencing some puberty, also the fact that his voice is on the deeper side and he doesn’t appear to have any vocal cracking going on. (Although how far you can really throw that one considering the flashback of him at like…what, 10 or 12 has him with the same voice so…Idk)

Being that it’s somewhat murky then whether or not he’s started puberty, I can see where semantically you could use the definition of pedophilia to either condemn of excuse your stance.

In terms of age-wise, though, typically anyone under the age of 13 would be considered a child and an attraction to a teenager would be more along the lines of either hebephilia or ephebophilia.

However, I don’t really think we need to get into semantics to understand what a person is trying to say when they say, “I don’t support this ship because I think it’s pedophilia”. What they mean is that they’re uncomfortable with someone who’s a legal adult being with someone who isn’t quite there yet. And again, that’s understandable if that makes you uncomfortable and I’m not going to tell you to shut up or feel a different way.

I do, however, take issue with the fact that I feel like some of the discourse surrounding issues of pedophilia takes on a stance that essentially borders on the idea of: if two 17 year olds date they have to break up as soon as one of them turns 18 because that’s just wrong!!!!! That’s…kind of extreme, in my opinion and misses the point.

But we’ll talk more about pedophilia in just a second, I want to move on to my next point.

So, from the opposed side we have the argument of, “Even if Yuri is of legal age of consent by the time he starts dating Otabek, it would be an abusive relationship because of the power imbalance brought on by their age gap and therefore I cannot support it.”

So this one is…pretty messy, honestly.

I realize that a lot of this comes from people who, themselves, have been in abusive relationships in which an age gap similar to or greater than this one was present and therefore it’s hard for them to sign off on this relationship because it echoes too much of their own experience.

And so first off out the gate I want to say I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m sorry if you’re one of those people, you didn’t deserve the abuse your endured and I hate it for you that you had this god awful experience.

I would, however, encourage you to both realize that your experiences are not universal and to also be critical of how the age gap played a factor.

So, let’s talk about it.

First and foremost, like I said, this is not a universal experience. Although there are a lot of people who are in age gap relationships who end up being abused, there are just as many people who have been in age gap relationships that were healthy.

This is where I urge you to be critical of the age gap itself and realize that the age gap on its own doesn’t make for an abusive relationship.

This is where the defense side chimes in with the notion that if it were true that all age gaps are inherently abusive then wouldn’t Viktor and Yuuri’s relationship be abusive as they have a ~4 year age gap?

The obvious answer is no, it’s not unhealthy for them.

So part of the problem is specifically with the fact that Otabek is a legal adult whereas Yuri is not. Now there again, I see where you’re coming from and I have absolutely no problem if you can’t get behind it on those grounds alone.

However, again, I don’t think there’s really that drastic of a leap between 16 and 18 that would constitute this massive power imbalance that people seem to think would exist between the two.

The issue with older abusers is this: they’re still abusers no matter what age they date. If they dated someone their own age, guess what? They’d still be abusers. Their motivation in seeking someone younger than themselves may very well be because they think it would be easier to manipulate or influence them and sometimes that is the case, but here again, it’s not a feature that’s exclusive to all age gaps and not even ones wherein one person is a legal adult and the other is say 16 or 17.

We’ve all seen the warnings, especially to younger girls, about watching out for older guys who try to pick them up and I think that’s absolutely good advice and you should be wary as hell about that.

However, I’m not going to look at a 16 year old girl and an 18 year old guy and be like, “Mmm, abusive. He’s got power over her, he’s taking advantage.” That may be the case, but it may also not and I wouldn’t know just from looking at their age or the gap between them.

Now 15 and 18, yeah that gets pretty sketchy, I’m not comfortable with that. But 16 and 18? Call me naïve, but that seems somewhat negligible and really needs to be assessed on a case-by-case basis because while that situation may prove to be a perfect storm for an abusive relationship, it doesn’t necessitate one on that basis alone.

As a side note, while we’re on the subject of power imbalances I am curious as to how those opposed feel about the power imbalance between Yuuri and Viktor with Viktor acting as Yuuri’s coach. I’m not saying there necessarily is one or that it’s damaging, especially not in the same way teacher/student, doctor/patient, or employer/employee is, but one could argue that their ship should immediately go in the trash because Viktor does have, albeit minimal, power over Yuuri. As their relationship plays out, I think they’ve actually struck a healthy balance between the two of them, but since we’re looking at his from a purely black and white standpoint in which X is always wrong, no matter the circumstances, then I think we need to apply that same logic to the ships we do love as well for the sake of fairness.

But back to the point, in terms of the age gap between them playing a factor into why these two shouldn’t be together, on the one hand I perfectly understand why it makes some people uncomfortable and why they can’t support it and you have my full support in avoiding what makes you uncomfortable. However, on the other hand, I don’t think it’s fair for someone to use their personal experience to try to generalize and make rules for what should and shouldn’t be allowed.

My parents have a 17 year age gap between them. They met when my mom was in her twenties, so nothing is illegal about their relationship, but my dad does have some years on her. However, in terms of their relationship they see and treat each other as equals (although if I’m honest I kinda think Mom more so “wears the pants”, so to speak but shhh).

I’m also witnessing a relative of mine who’s in her early twenties who’s dating a man who is…older than her own mother, so that’s…a thing. And although I don’t know all the ins and outs of their relationship, I am seeing a lot of stuff from her side in which she’s being abusive towards him. She constantly guilts him over certain behaviors, posting dozens of statuses each day that allude to her hurt feelings any time he doesn’t immediately text her back or drop everything to spend time with her. She also employs a lot of the rhetoric of “no one will ever love you as much as I do, so you can go out there and try to find something better, but you never will!” which is like…textbook abuser language.

But she’s younger! She shouldn’t be able to do that, right? Well, she is. She most certainly is and so here again I say, an age gap just on its face doesn’t automatically constitute for an abusive relationship in which the older person takes advantage of and abuses the younger person. While that does sometimes happen and while that may be the motivation of the abuser to find someone younger in order to more easily take advantage, it’s not fair to generalize that behavior to any and all age gap relationships, including those between legal adults and minors (provided that minor is at least at the age of consent because again, I too think it’s pretty ehhhhhhh when you get younger than that, also not to mention, y’know, ILLEGAL, so there’s that).

So, alright we’ve done a loooooot of talking about the hot button issues that come up in this heated debate and hopefully I was able to add a little more clarity to the situation? Perhaps not, but if nothing else this is my take on it and to be clear I’ll reiterate: As Yuri stands now, where canon left him, he is 15 years old and not legally able to consent to a relationship with Otabek who is 18 (possibly 19). Once the show picks back up, however, and Yuri is 16 then he will legally be able to consent to a relationship with Otabek. Whether or not that relationship will be sexual in nature is likely not going to be addressed in canon and left up to fan interpretation in which I know already a lot of people have already stated that even still they wouldn’t have these two start bumping uglies right out of the gate and that for some, they may never due to personal interpretations of their respective sexualities.

But so…here comes the next part and this is where we’re going to pick back up on pedophilia.

Regardless of whether or not these two end up actually getting together or not, regardless of whether or not you wait for Yuri to be 16…he’s still 16.

Now, if you yourself, as a fan, are also 16 then…I guess I can’t really stop you from thirsting over this character, but here is something I can toss your way: don’t create nsfw artwork or fan fiction involving this underage character.

Especially, ESPECIALLY, if you are an actual “grown ass adult”.

Just…stop it. Get some help. That shouldn’t have to be said.

The amount of people thirsting over Yuri’s “Welcome to the Madness” performance who are adults is, frankly, super disturbing. I put some of that blame on the studio itself for having his performance be as provocative as it was, but the audience itself should be able to police themselves into behaving and not going, “Oh wow, so sexy, so hot, wow wow wow!!!”

Being that this skate took place after the GPF, guess what? He’s 15. HE’S 15. YOU’RE SALIVATING OVER A 15 YEAR OLD, CONGRATS! 

I don’t care how much “older” he looks with makeup and his outfit. I don’t care if he had taken all his damn clothes off right then and there, you need to stop with that shit, stop sexualizing this underage character!!!

I get it, he’s not “real”, he’s an animated character, but works featuring him, as a minor, engaging in sexual acts or the sexualization of him (fictional or not) still contributes to a harmful culture that preys on children and adolescents.

Which, to my understanding, is a pretty big problem in Japan and I mean…again, their age of consent is 13. That…really doesn’t sit right with me. I know different cultures have different attitudes about things, but just knowing what I do of psychology, I don’t think a 13 year old can really understand the repercussions or have the maturity level to engage in sexual behaviors, especially not with someone older.

It’s also been found that adults who prey on children will actually use things like cartoons and animations which depict the exploitation of children in sexual situations to convince children that what they’re doing is okay and perfectly acceptable. That’s…really fucked up.

I understand that a lot of people in fandom saying these things or posting these works don’t think they’re doing anything wrong or don’t realize how harmful their actions are, but I’m here to tell ya…newsflash, asshole, depicting minors in sexual situations has been wrong this entire goddamn time!!! Please stop doing that. Please, for the love of god. S T O P.

As far as “aging up” the characters I mean…that’s going to be a divisive issue in which again, I get both sides.

Being that he’s not a real character you can sort of shape him in different ways and part of that involves depicting him as an actual adult. As long as that’s actually conveyed in your work and is perfectly clear then I guess technically there’s not anything legally off about that, although it might not sit right with everyone who feels like that’s still sketchy behavior.

Personally, I’m more comfortable with the aging up thing in fan fiction because fan fiction in general tends to take a lot of liberties away from canon to begin with and so it’s not that hard to envision a Yuri who in a story would be in his twenties.

Then again, I may also be biased because these are my personal thoughts on the ship: As of right now, I don’t see them as anything but friends, perhaps even best friends. I’m happy for both of them that they have someone they feel like they can relate to and being that at least Yuri’s been something of a loner, I’m glad he has someone close to his age that he gets along with so well.

I feel like (and again, this is just me) that as they get older it’s perfectly possible that their relationship may develop into something more and I wouldn’t be opposed to that. I think that once they both have a chance to grow and mature, and again, get better acquainted with one another first as friends, that I could see them having a cute, happy, healthy relationship of which I’d be in support of.

As of right now, though, I don’t ship them romantically. It’s just sort of a parent looking at their kid and their good friend and thinking, “Hmmm, those two might get married some day years and years down the road…” and sort of smiling knowingly to yourself.

Now of course, it’s 100% possible that they don’t. That they remain friends (or perhaps even grow apart, who knows!) but never anything more than that or maybe even that when they’re a little older they try dating, but it doesn’t work out, they make better friends, and so they split. Mother doesn’t always know best and although I personally think of them as a future otp, there’s really no saying for sure until we get something in canon.

But so…these are all my thoughts. Feel free to disagree with me, I understand this is incredibly sensitive subject matter and people have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it, some of which are deeply personal and therefore make this an even more charged discussion.

I apologize if anything I’ve said has contributed to that harm, even if it was indirectly. I’ve tried, to the best of my ability, to look at this from both sides and to take each argument into careful consideration, although I’m just one person and like all people, I can be biased and misinformed, so my word is definitely not law and like I said multiple times, if you simply just can’t get behind the ship because it makes you even the slightest bit uncomfortable, for whatever reason, I encourage you to do what’s best for you and what’s best for your health.

For those in favor of, please don’t insist that anyone opposed “just get over it” or “shut up and let people ship what they want, gosh!!!” It’s really not quite as simple as that and you may be talking to someone who has a personal experience similar to the one this relationship would present that was traumatic for them and it therefore is hard for them to see you being dismissive of concerns that they try to bring to your attention.

That being said, I do realize as well that there are a lot of people who haven’t really sat down and given the situation any thought who are basically just looking for an excuse to yell at someone and so all they want to do is yell, “It’s pedophilia, it’s wrong, you should kill yourself!!!!” even at people who have said, “I’m actually a survivor of CSA and I don’t think this ship is that”.

I think there’s sort of a knee-jerk reaction re: pedophilia discourse to really go into high gear and start chucking things in the trash if it even vaguely looks like that’s what’s going on, but we’re not really doing that discourse any service if we have this sort of reaction instead of stepping back and looking at it from a truly critical and realistic point of view. 

The protection of children and minors is of the utmost importance and should come first before all things, but it needs to be from a rational standpoint otherwise we’re not really benefiting anyone but ourselves as we try to look the most morally upstanding of them all by using sweeping generalizations and condemning situations without really taking them into proper context and consideration. 

In addition to that line of thought, for those who defend the ship, bear in mind that your enjoyment of something doesn’t get to supersede the safety of others. 

As I’ve outlined, 15 year old Yuri and 18 year old Otabek would not be okay.

16 year old Yuri and 18 year old Otabek, however, is legal and it doesn’t really do any good to throw American laws at the situation just because that’s where you’re from because again, these two aren’t from America and the age of consent varies by state, although the most common age is still 16 so really no matter how you slice it that’s what we’re left with.

And, of course, art and fan fiction depicting an underage Yuri in sexual situations is not okay, especially if you’re an adult.

So. This has been a lot of text, a lot of words, a lot of ideas, and a lot to take in, but it’s all important.

I don’t see this as an argument that’s going to go away any time soon, so I wanted to offer up my two cents which no one asked for, but I felt nevertheless compelled to share.

I think people on both sides need to take the time to listen, to try to understand, and to have some compassion. If you’re yelling at a 16 year old kid on the internet to go kill themselves because you think they’re doing something harmful, that’s not really any better than what you’re trying to defend and you need to take a step back. Because although there are plenty (re: too many) problematic adults in this fandom, a lot of fans are actually themselves minors. I promise and encourage you to make your point without having to jump to death threats or telling people to die. There is validity (to a certain degree) on both sides and I hope this ridiculously long post has provided at least a little bit of clarity on the situation.

I think it’s important that we don’t jump to conclusions or take certain ideas to their most extreme i.e. “all age gap relationships are inherently abusive!” and “a 16 year old is a helpless infant incapable of making decisions for themselves and has no business being sexually active!”

While you may be understandably uncomfortable with age gaps and sexually active teens, these are things that happen that aren’t always bad, it’s the context and the nature of the relationship that’s important and while like I said, I’m not wild about the idea of a 16 year old being sexually active (there are also a lot of grown ass adults I’m not wild about being sexually active either as they can be highly immature and irresponsible) I’m also realistic and can understand that there’s a fair chance they will be and that I don’t do that age group any favors by blanketly infantilizing them and trying to deny them that, especially if legally they’re within their rights. I do, however, as an adult have a responsibility both morally and legally to not contribute to the sexualization of said 16 year old.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and please be good to yourself and to each other.  

#Yuri on Ice #Otayuri #Yuri Plisetsky #Otabek Altin #anti-otayuri #YOI #I feel like I've seen a million and one different name for the ship but it seems like otayuri is the most common #so we'll stick with that #been a while since i've done meta for a fandom #hopefully i didn't fuck it up too bad

[mybestmalesextoys]

Revulotionary Fleshlight Launch Electric Hands Free Masturbator

Back in 2013 when the Kiiroo brand was first introduced to the market, most people thought it would end up being one of those no-name manufacturers whose boxes line the dusty shelves of local sex toy shops. As it turns out, the skeptics were wrong. Not only did Kiiroo become super popular among several demographics, but now they have joined forced with one of the most well-known brands in the industry: Fleshlight.

As you may or may not know, Fleshlight is the number-one selling brand in the world. They got that way by offering stellar products that could rock the socks off any damn near anybody. Now, the sexually seductive supremacy of Fleshlight has been combined with the technological prowess of Kiiroo to produce what some people are calling the end-all-be-all of personal gratification.

Behold the new Fleshlight Launch powered by Kiiroo. This enormous sex toy represents years of study and research to develop a one-of-a-kind experience for everyone involved. In fact, it has so many features that some users have complained about it being difficult to use. Of course, we think opinions like that are to be expected when a revolutionary product hits the market. In other words, there are bound to be some people who just don’t get it.

Fortunately, our expertise in this industry makes it difficult for us to turn away from something so technologically advanced as the Fleshlight/Kiiroo Launch monstrosity. Yes, it is quite large compared to other toys on the market, having been described by one of our teammates as “the sexiest handheld vacuum cleaner I have ever seen.” We can’t say we disagree, although after using the thing, we did find that the dimensions were justified.

Whether or not you end up having the same opinion as us is really none of our concern. We believe that education is what matters most, not point-of-view. With that said, we will try our hardest to describe this new-fangled beast the best we can.

What Is the Fleshlight Launch Powered by Kiiroo?

It’s not all the time we get to check out the newest inventions, so our team was careful to take tedious notes on this one. The union of Fleshlight and Kiiroo is executed flawlessly in the Launch – a spectacular invention that provides an automatic thrill ride for your penis. It is designed to stimulate a man (and/or his voyeuristic partner) in a hands-free way that can be manipulated using various controls. While that sounds very simple, the Launch is actually very high tech.

This massive dick dock offers a fully automated blowjob, but that’s not what makes it tech-savvy. The cool part is this: it can be connected on an online database which contains literally hundreds of VR and POV porn content files. Apparently, virtual reality, hands-free, mechanical blowjobs are no longer a thing of futuristically perverted dreams. The future is now.

We weren’t sure what was more up-to-date and relevant: the toy or the online content available. It seemed like they both worked seamlessly in tandem with one another, providing a sensational sexual experience that required little more than lube. All the bells and whistles of the Launch impressed us, each of which were nicely tucked away in a sleek, masculine casing that was ergonomically shaped.

Furthermore, the online content was chalk full of entertaining games, videos, and pre-recorded or live webcam sessions that can keep anyone busy and busting at the seams for hours. All you need is a way to create a secure Bluetooth connection and you’re good to go after you download the apps and register. See? Technology doesn’t have to be scary.

The Basic Features

Perhaps our favorite feature of the Launch is the fully customizable property of it. Unlike other automatic blowjob machines, this bad boy allows you to choose which Fleshlight to put inside. So, if you’re an owner of several standard-sized Fleshlight masturbators, you can pop each one of them into the Launch and have at it. This toy is also compatible with the Kiiroo Onyx and Pearl as well, so the possibilities are virtually endless.

Being as the Fleshlight brand is known for having numerous SuperSkin sleeves that are fashioned after a famous porn star’s vagina or asshole, it’s possible to link up to the online content on FeelMe.com and have a VR fuck-a-thon with your favorite girls using fake pussies that feel just like the real thing. It’s pretty much the closest any of us will ever get to touching these women, and it doesn’t even require an internet connection.

For a little over $200, you get the Launch case (Fleshlight, Onyx, or Pearl inserts not included of course – that’s where you get to have some fun.) It features two settings: Manual and Interactive. Obviously, the manual setting is the one that needs no internet assistance. The Launch will still move the inserted masturbator up and down on your penis until you say stop; all you need is some imagination in place of the porn content and voila.

The Fleshlight Launch powered by Kiiroo is a pretty big deal, literally. Measuring a total of 12.75 inches, this foot-long fun stick is designed to help users quickly and easily program or manipulate the settings which control the stroke and speed dynamics. In other words, you can place it on your penis and enjoy the ride without ever spilling your beer.

What You Get for the Money

We understand that spending $200 on an internet-ready machine that gyrates a fake pussy inside is quite an investment, especially considering the actual fake pussy isn’t even included. So, to make you feel a little better, the manufacturers have thrown the following items in the box (which, by the way, is kind of unimpressive):

The Fleshlight Launch

An Authenticity card (to activate the included 1-year limited warranty)

A set-up manual to get started with the online content databases

An instructional manual for basic operations

A universal USB charging cable

Routine software updates for free

We were definitely surprised to learn that neither Fleshlight nor Kiiroo thought to include any toy cleaner or lube with the Launch, but we just assumed that was because those items come with the masturbator anyway. Regardless, it would have been nice to get something – say, a coupon for an Onyx, Pearl, or Fleshlight? Maybe we are just getting our hopes up.

Our Experience

We wanted to keep this part as simple as possible, but the more we tried to pin down a perfect description of our experience the more we fell short of our expectations. After all, it’s difficult to describe something that can be used in dozens of different ways. Overall, we’d say using the Launch is about as close as anyone is going to get to a full-on blowjob with no strings attached. No seriously, this thing is wireless too.

It’s also tough to compare the Launch to something similar because there’s nothing like it on the market today. It’s one of those things that adventurous people get to experience first, while the skeptics get the sloppy seconds when the initial excitement wears off. We’re just glad we got to be a part of the first group – sitting back and relaxing while this new invention juices our dicks like a bunch of Florida oranges.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

As the most technologically advanced sex toy in the biz, the Fleshlight Launch powered by Kiiroo offers software that is compatible with Mac and PC (with Windows 7 or 10). It’s also able to sync to most smart devices and has an impressive range. Such a high-tech product might remind of a rocket from the space program, but the Launch is (and looks) a whole lot cooler than that.

APPEARANCE

Surprisingly, the 12.76-inch Launch is nice and sleek with a well-manicured look to it. It operates quietly and does not move except for inside the internal cavity where the Fleshlight, Onyx, or Pearl sits. From the outside, it looks like you just have a handheld vacuum resting on your lap, but we know your secret. (Don’t worry; it’s safe with us.)

PROS

Safety First – It features nothing but body-safe materials which contain no latex or phthalates.

Compatible – The device can be used with all new or old Fleshlight toys, the Onyx, or the Pearl, and it can also be linked with most modern VR goggles to be used on the FeelMe.com website.

Lightweight – For as big as it is, the Launch doesn’t weigh much at all (only about 2 pounds or so).

Rechargeable – The battery can be recharged numerous times before needing to be replaced.

Easy Cleaning – Designed to drain easily, and made to release the used Fleshlight without splashing organic material, the Launch is super easy to clean even without the brand name renewal powder or FleshWash.

Connectedness – The teledildonic technology lets you enjoy real-time play with people far away.

Speed and Efficacy – With a max speed of 180 strokes per minute, you’re bound to finish satisfied every time.

Quick Release – If things get too hot and heavy, simply click the power button real quick for a fast shut off.

CONS

Some Assembly Required – Yes, the Launch comes fully intact, but it will be useless to you unless you know how to install the Fleshlight, Onyx, or Pearl inside.

Long Initial Charge Time – At first, the Launch needs to be charged for at least 6 to 9 hours before it can be used. Ouch! Luckily, that charge time shortens the more you use it.

No Moisture Allowed – The Launch cannot come in contact with any sort of water, vapor, or moisture, including the kind your body produces naturally.

Cumbersome and Hard to Hide – Due to the above-average size of the Launch, and the lack of proper storage containers, it’s difficult to hide this thing once you open it.

Hot to the Touch – After being used for a while, the Launch gets hot so watch out.

Updates Needed Often – High-tech devices require high-tech software that must be debugged and updated occasionally. The Launch is no exception.

Technical Difficulties – One time, the red light (meaning: Bluetooth malfunction) on the LED indicator popped on and we had to restart the entire contraption to get it to work properly again.

Fortunately, the PROS outweighed the CONS by a wide margin. Even with its relatively common tech fouls, the Launch is still outperforming everything else on the market so far. We won’t say it’s perfect the way it is because we want to experience the new and improved versions in the future. Yes, we’re already thinking that far ahead (because we’re gluttons and that’s our job). You, on the other hand, might want to start saving money before the demand outranks the supply.

We Like to Get the Last Word

We consider it a great honor to test out these sex toys on your behalf. With that comes the responsibility to render a truthful and honest opinion about each product. It is never our intention to falsely describe anything we review, and we always try to stay objective. However, having never seen anything quite like the Fleshlight Launch by Kiiroo, it’s difficult for us to say exactly how we feel without getting flagrant in our description.

As the latest and greatest in interactive porn, the Launch is certainly in a class all its own. Our team enthusiastically gives it the highest marks, despite its relatively high price tag and somewhat difficult set-up process. With an easy-to-use interface and plenty of user-friendly options, it’s clear to see why this high-tech toy is the star of the show for both the Fleshlight and Kiiroo brands, who, by the way, have recently been discussing other product collaborations slated for development in the future.

In spite of its few design flaws and minor mechanical upsets, the Fleshlight Launch powered by Kiiroo is definitely something to behold. In fact, we would highly recommend it to the men with mobility problems, erectile dysfunction, and/or anyone who wants to add a little more gluttony to his sexual experience.

from My Best Male Sex Toys http://www.mybestmalesextoys.com/male-masturbators/fleshlight-launch-blowjob-machine/

[ourimpavidheroine]

I know it’s a standard thing in anime to give a character a particular look and then leave it; thus Ikki has all of her hair in pom-poms when she is eight and half of it up in them when she is eleven. It makes the characters easier to identify. I get it, I do.

But why on earth would you then draw an adult Ikki with pom-poms in her hair? I’ve just never understood that. After all, I remember the haircut I had when I was eleven; it was growing out from what I had hoped would be an adorably cute Dorothy Hamill cut (and which ended up being a horror show of poofy frizz since that kind of hairstyle was never meant to accommodate curly hair). I sure as hell don’t have that kind of hair now. An adult woman having pom-poms in her hair certainly has an entirely different take to it than an eleven year old! Is Ikki really that childish and precious as an adult? And maybe you see her that way; maybe your post-canon take on Ikki is that she’s a manic pixie dream girl that continues to wear pom-poms in her hair and who behaves in a twee way, that sort of dizzy, adorable child-woman that flits her delightful way through life. If that’s your actual take on her then that’s fine with me; it’s not how I see it, but I respect other people’s artistic vision of characters, for sure. 

But is that really how you see her? Or is it just a way of freezing her in time even as you age her up?

One of the things that is important to me as a fanfic writer who writes in a post-canon/post-series world is to make a character, ten years on, believable. How have they changed? Stayed the same? What have they learned, what have they done that has impacted their lives in a significant way? Sometimes, with a canon character that has very little screen time, this is easy. Wing and Wei Beifong aren’t in the show much; we know they are jocks who aren’t afraid to show emotion, extremely talented benders who nevertheless are hesitant when it comes to attacking (or at least Wing is) another person. But it’s not like they got the character development that Mako and Bolin did, for example. So you have more freedom with canon characters like that. It’s why I could make Huan autistic even though I am about 99.9% sure that Bryke certainly never wrote him that way. He could be interpreted that way based on canon (as could both Zuko and Mako, in my not so humble opinion) but I am certainly taking artistic license with a minor (albeit memorable) canon character.

Taking characters that are well-defined in canon and writing them ten years on is far more difficult. (And it’s why, I suspect, that a lot of fanfic writers won’t do it.) Prince Wu, ten years on, being the same spoiled and thoughtless character would not be interesting, in my opinion. Or at least not as a main fanfic character. You have to keep parts of his character; my Wu is still imperious, still confident, still not quite in touch with how the real world works. He still adores Mako. Bryke was never clear about how Wu became the heir; was he always the heir? (Hou-Ting was never written as married, or at least we were never told she was.) Were there other heirs that were killed in the fall of Ba Sing Se along with Hou-Ting, thus meaning that Wu went from distant relative to sudden heir? Or was he always meant to be the heir, raised towards the throne? Canon doesn’t tell us, so I obviously chose the latter, since it made for a more compelling story to me. His slangy way of speaking never did make much sense to me; it would be like Prince William suddenly dropping into a London dialect. Royalty doesn’t sound like that unless they try to sound like that; thus why I wrote Wu as purposefully adopting that slang in order to fit in, and why I had him ease right back out of it. I never thought Wu was stupid; oblivious, yes, but that to me only made the choice of him being raised in the palace a stronger one. (Yes, I know that Bryke confirmed that Wu was attending either boarding school or University in Republic City when the Red Lotus brought down Ba Sing Se, but they said that after I wrote Please Excuse My Penmanship, and I like my version better, quite frankly.) This is why I write Wu as being clearly intelligent and extremely well-educated.

I don’t get into the political ramifications of Wu abdicating much; I write from his POV and he doesn’t like discussing it. But believe me, that will come into play with the Royalist story. His abdication did indeed have ramifications. 

(In other words, Wu has always been an extremely unreliable narrator. He’s been written that way on purpose.)

The misogynistic comment about Ikki that I deleted from IDNAtNfE said something to the effect that Ikki was a bright and energetic and curious little girl and used that as a reason as to why my version of her as a sexually aware adult was wrong. (No comments were made with regards to other characters that I’ve written as being more promiscuous, but most of those characters were male...so. Yeaaaaaaaaaaah.) Going beyond that it is an incredibly odd thing to say about someone - so if you are a bright and energetic and curious little girl that automatically means you are going to adhere to a certain type of patriarchal morality as an adult? Huh? - what it says to me is that it was a reader who expected that a character was going to be the same as a twenty-two year old than she was as an eleven year old. 

I certainly was not the same person at twenty-two as I was at eleven; I suspect most of us aren’t, and this is a good thing.

It’s safer, I think, to only write fanfic that takes place during the canon series. That’s not to say that kind of fanfic isn’t good fanfic! On the contrary! I love nothing more than fanfic that delves into parts of a show that weren’t fully explored. I’ve written a few Wuko pieces like that myself. But it has a different approach, for sure. The characters are who they are; set in stone, with clearly defined borders and boundaries, and the same goes for the story itself. We already know how the story is going to end when it is fanfic written within the canon run of the source material.

Eleven year old Ikki is who she is; for a writer to suddenly make eleven year old Ikki a studious and quiet bookworm, a girl who follows all of the rules and demurely does as she’s told would be to write an entirely different character. She wouldn’t be Ikki, and it’s this kind of character assassination that pulls readers right out of a fanfic. But to take that eleven year old and age her up eleven years, to speculate as to who she is then? That’s a risky proposition. For one thing, you really up your chances of pissing readers off. That’s not who Ikki is! For some people, it really is about expecting to see eleven year old Ikki instantly transformed into a twenty-two year old, staying exactly the same, complete with pom-poms in her hair. For some people, it’s that their own headcanon of where she’d be in eleven years is completely different, and they just aren’t going to enjoy mine. That’s what I mean about safer. (It’s the same sort of risk that AU writers take as well. How do you transfer this character into another time, another setting, and make them believable? Getting beyond the whole fluffy coffee shop AU kind of thing, I have read some breathtaking AU stories that are masterpieces, quite frankly, and I appreciate like hell the kind of writing skill and risk it takes to get there.)

So yes, I am very aware that the type of fic I write is not always going to be appreciated. It’s post-series and post-canon; that right there puts lots of readers off. They won’t even read it. And it’s okay with me; I’ve never understood people who continue reading something they don’t enjoy rather than just hitting the back button. I am aware that I am going to be making choices for characters that not everyone is going to like (boy, am I ever aware of that). I am aware that what I am doing, essentially, with my fic is writing my own book, really. If I took the characters and gave them different names, did some worldbuilding, changed bending into some other sort of magical power (so as not to get sued, thanks very much) I could totally get away with it. More so than Fifty Shades of Grey being poorly disguised AU Twilight fanfic, I’d like to hope. (I’d really like to hope!) 

I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately, as I’m finally starting to make tentative steps forward through this new part of my life that is widowhood and single-mothering. I guess we’ll see.

#my fanfic #personal

[justindanielsampsel-blog]

Justin Daniel Sampsel  The Professionals Share Their Lead Generation Secrets

Justin Daniel Sampsel Professional tips provider. When it comes to lead generation, you must make sure that you're educated about it. Beating the competition means increasing your customer base. With strong determination and good understanding, use the great tips below.

Build your presence on LinkedIn. LinkedIn is the most business-friendly social media channel out there. People use linked in to network and even broker new deals. It's the perfect place to create lead generation opportunities for you and your company. Invest in a Premium membership as it will allow you to see everyone who has viewed your profile.

Make an offer to potential leads that is hard to refuse. This can be a discount, a give-away, or some source of information that they've been dying to have. It needs to be relevant to them, or else you'll never get them to respond. Try a few different things to see what works the best.

Invite potential customers to actually opt into joining your community on your website. You'd be amazed at how many website browsers will make the decision to provide their email. Make sure, though, that you've got relevant content to share with them afterwards. Think about developing a newsletter or a series of tips emails.

Ask your current customers to pass on word about your company to those they know. Your current loyal customers are the best lead generation asset you have. Their word of mouth can really mean a lot to generating new customers. Just them sharing your company information in social media can be surprisingly powerful.

Do not pre-judge your lead gathering technique. Though you may think you are not going to get great results, or you are overly confident about the success, you cannot be sure. The only way to know if your lead generation is working is to put it into action without preconceived ideas about results.

Justin Daniel Sampsel Skilled tips provider. Use customized quality content to generate more leads for you. If a person stays on a page to read what you've written, you're already one step ahead of the game. When people discover value and get the help they need from content, trust usually ensues. This often translates into more sales and sign-ups!

Don't forget your website! Many people create a site and then just leave it, believing that "if you build it, they will come." They won't unless you actually put some effort into it. Create a blog and update it frequently, or add new content as often as possible to the site itself.

Your customer base is going to be loyal to you and help you get new leads. You can accelerate this aspect of lead generation by doing different things. For example, you can start a referral program. Referral programs reward your current customer base for helping you find new customers out there.

Look at your competitors to see what tactics they use to generate leads. You don't need to reinvent the wheel when you are going to market. Oftentimes, your competitors have already done the hard work for you. If you see them using certain tactics heavily, there's a good chance they are doing so because it works.

Consider who might have an insider's view on who would be interested in what you're selling. For example, real estate agents could get tips from local HR professionals on people moving to the area to start a new job. Who would know of people who would need what you are selling?

Justin Daniel Sampsel Qualified tips provider. Remember that people respect honesty more than hype, so when you try to generate more leads, leave an open and honest offer on the table. Adding bells and whistles just makes you look like a generic salesperson who will do whatever it takes to get people to buy. Generate leads with a quality presentation and you gain permanent customers instead.

If you want your website to generate leads, it needs to clearly tell people what you're expecting them to do. Do you want them to sign up for a newsletter? Be sure that the sign up form is near the top of the page and is obviously the way to do so.

Be sure to use a blog to create fresh new content on the regular. Write about topics that people actually want to read about, such as how-tos, interviews, details from local events or expert tips and tricks. If you are creating content which is worth reading, you will be sure to build leads.

Make sure your offers are appropriate. They must be relevant to the prospective buyer. Great content is important, but the timing of its delivery is also important. Many customers will see information at different parts of their decision process. Try picking a particular time you think is best to better your chances of getting on their short list.

Ignore any preconceived notions that you may have about your lead generation campaign. Business owners often think that any ugly ad or one that's not too well thought out isn't worth publishing, when in fact it could still yield great results. The same thing can be said that perhaps a too polished looking ad may not get any leads generated.

Justin Daniel Sampsel Best service provider. Consider publications which fit your niche and write for them. For example, real estate agents could write an article in New Homes Magazine about what to look for when checking out new homes, or what sort of fees one should expect when buying their first home, and then include a byline with a call to action.

Invite your website visitors to sign up for email notifications in return for special discounts and promotions. Everyone wants a bargain. If you make the discounts enticing enough, people will sign up. This is a good way for you to build up your lead database and to advertise your specials.

If you have a blog online, be sure to comment on other blogs with a link back. CommentLuv is a tool you can use to link to your site from other blogs. It automatically includes a blurb and a link from your last blog post when you comment elsewhere.

Justin Daniel Sampsel Qualified tips provider. Can you turn this new knowledge into profits? You never know unless you try. Waiting is just costing you time and money, so make the move now!

#Justin Daniel Sampsel

[durfeehtbelloraco98insuranc-blog]

volkswagen eos insurance cost

volkswagen eos insurance cost

volkswagen eos insurance cost

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SOURCES:

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