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the-lavender-clown · 5 months

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MORE COWBOY AU STUFF BECAUSE I’M OBSESSED!!! The au I’ve made with some friends is called Fool’s Gold! I may or may not write some fics for it 👀

Here’s an infodump on it if anyone is interested!!

Raph is tired sheriff who sighs at every newspaper & new wanted poster showing off his blue and purple brothers as well as Donnie’s partner in crime but a he can’t help but be a little proud because he knows their doing good, just in their own special & questionable way.

Mikey is a nomad that travels around & sells self-woven clothes and blankets as well as hand carved & painted trinkets or whatever else he’s made. He treats weary travelers to home cooked meals & tales & legends of four brothers! He’s also the only brother not *constantly* making trouble for Raph.

Leo is a lone hero. Going town to town & over throwing whatever greedy mayor/banker/outlaw has that town in its clutches. He’s able to masterfully manipulate whoever he’s dealing with & using his many resources to gather important information. He ties them up to a post for the sheriff’s convenience when he comes by the town to pick them up.

Donnie & Cass are bounty hunters/mercenaries. They used to chase each other for their bounties & because Cass was a part of the Foot before the brothers took them down & Donnie just so happens to often be the closest to her trail once she popped up again. After awhile of constantly failing to catch each other they started thinking of each other as *their* targets & everyone knew better than to try and catch the other. A fun little song & dance/game of cat & mouse if you will. Eventually they ended up having to run from the same person together & realized that they honestly make a good team & have stuck together ever since!

Shelldon is adopted by Donnie before he & Cass teamed up. He was told by the Purple Dragons to get close to Donnie so they could catch him in exchange for enough money to set him for life, money they had no intention on giving him. He did get close to Donnie but in the end didn’t want to betray him but the Dragons had accounted for that & set off an explosion in a mining tunnel to get rid of them both. Donnie ended up being able to get Shelldon a little clear of the crumbling tunnel before he was trapped under the rumble. Shelldon doesn’t want to leave him but eventually does & immediately goes to try to find help, coming across Leo who had found Donnie’s spooked horse & was trying to find out what trouble Donnie had gotten himself into since his horse never leaves unless something really bad happened. Donnie ends up losing a leg cuz is it truly an F!Donnie if he doesn’t?

Casey is adopted after Donnie & Cass team up. They were in town for some groceries when Raph told them about this kid in some not so great circumstances & said it’d be a shame if someone were to beat up his guardians & kidn@p him while he was busy with all this paperwork. Donnie & Cass were gone before he finished. They weren’t gonna pass up an opportunity where they had permission to do a crime after all!

The main difference between Leo & Donnie’s work is that Donnie always cashes in the bad guys for money & can be hired for jobs as well as uses semi lethal methods while Leo mainly does it for fun & justice (& to mess with Raph) & takes like a free drink as payment before moving on. Leo will leave notes on the bad guys for Raph for when he comes to pick them up.

“The Bread Winners” is the name of Donnie, Casey, Shelldon, & Junior’s gang because Casey’s brownie scouts & my Donnie baker hc. It also shows that they’re in it for the money & fits with how the go undercover as a family often. Plus it sounds innocent enough to disguise how insane they really are.

That is it for now!! Hope some of y’all like it!!

Here’s the drawing without the text in the middle

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ccalhoun · 2 years

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HII ok so. I was wondering if you could possibly do fluff for stu matcher and a male autistic reader? Either fic or hcs work!! Tysm-🦇

≻ ┄┄ ♡ ┄┄ ≺

stu macher x autistic!male!reader fluff hcs

wc: 565 (short)

warnings: male reader (he/him), reader can be cis or trans, autistic reader, soft stu macher, fluff, mentions of murder/ghostface, short hcs, awkward ending oops

cut for length!

- Stu wouldn't notice you were autistic unless you told him, he just assumed you were a little different.

- When you tell him, though, his view on you doesn't change at all.

- Stu understands if you want him to keep it a secret, high schoolers were mean enough.

- If you are open about it and anyone even tries to say something he will kill them as Ghostface and act as if nothing ever happened.

- If you tell Stu what your special interests are he'll constantly buy you merch for whatever it is. Shirts, hoodies, bracelets (if you wear them), mugs, figures, anything!

- He'll also let you infodump about your hyperfixations/special interests.

- He won't just pretend to listen either, he'll actually listen and ask you questions if he has any.

- However, Stu may get distracted every now and then, he just loves how you look when you're talking about something that you really like! He can't help but stare in adoration.

- If you're having a bad sensory day, he'll convince you to skip school and hang out with him. Stu will get your comfort clothes and comfort foods ready while you sit on his bed, waiting for him.

- If you tell him that you're not a very touchy person he will always ask before holding your hand or hugging you or making any physical contact at all. Stu wants you to be as comfortable as possible around him.

- If his friend group gets too loud when you're all hanging out he'll tell them to tone it down so you're not as bothered.

- You need help with classes? He's not the best at school but he'll try his best! You need more help? He'll find someone who can help you!

- Stu loves you very much and he'll do anything, seriously.

- To tie into killing the people who say bad stuff about you, he'll also kill the people who look at you weirdly.

- You may not notice it but, there are certain kids who will look and whisper at you in the halls. Stu has no problem hurting them, taking note of what they look like and asking around for their names, and then for where they live.

- He'll tell you about Ghostface, he doesn't expect you to be supportive, he just doesn't want there to be any secrets between you two.

- If you're ok with it, he'll try to leave talk of it alone but there will be a few select times where he comes in through the window, Billy trailing behind, both covered in blood.

- He'll beg you to let him and Billy clean up at your house, when you finally say yes he'll use the shower first and cuddle with you while he waits on Billy.

- If you're not ok with it, he'll talk to Billy about not doing Ghostface anymore. When Billy inevitably says no, he'll simply never talk about it. If you're watching tv and he accidentally flicks to the news talking about Ghostface, he'll switch it to another channel asap.

- If you go nonverbal, he won't ever force you to speak, he'll offer you a pen and paper if you want to communicate something but wouldn't ever force you to write either. Stu just wants you to be happy.

- If you go nonverbal in public and want to leave, all you have to do is tug on Stu's sleeve and he'll know.

≻ ┄┄ ♡ ┄┄ ≺

#ccalhoun #stu macher #stu macher x you #stu macher x reader #stu macher x male reader

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of-solitude-past-and-present · 1 year

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YOUR WRITING>>>>>

I don't know how you came up with Naga Scaramouche but I've been brain rotting for days now 😩

Do you have any ideas how'd he'd react if someone goes out of their way to look for reader after they disappeared?

Especially if they mightve been a love interest at some point or the person clearly has feelings for them 👀

(referring to this)

A friend of mine actually came up with the idea for naga scara!! Together, we fleshed out the plot. It wasn't originally a fic, though, it was just a rp that got me brainrotting afterwards. I couldn't stop thinking about the whole concept until I finished writing Hidden in the Sands. The fic literally wouldn't leave me alone unless I was working on it LMAO

I'm going to take this as an excuse to talk a bit about the behind the scenes here (you have NO idea how much I've wanted to infodump about this fic)–originally, the reader was actually my friend's interpretation of Lumine and Sanad was originally my Alhaitham. I also played the part of Kuni himself. It was a bit awkward, actually, because Alhaitham and Kuni had to talk to each other a little bit and it felt like I was talking to myself.

I've changed the personalities of the reader and Sanad greatly, as you might have already guessed, since Sanad behaves nothing like Alhaitham; Sanad's more like one of those "prime examples" that Alhaitham talks about when he says, "Book learning alone is not enough to cultivate intelligence." Sanad is, intentionally, a very flawed but still reasonably likeable character. I want to talk about him too. Oh boy, looking back on this I sure did talk a lot about an OC I don't think anyone genuinely cares about.

I wanted to make him come off as normal, like an actual human person. He really is just a regular dude, he's just been kinda brainwashed by the Akademiya, as shown by the lines, "The Akademiya has declared them to be just baseless nonsense, so of course I don't think they actually exist." and "Desert dwellers tend to be... fearless." He's absorbed many commonly held beliefs (and biases) in the Akademiya, a textbook example of someone who's been taught what to think rather than how to think. I wanted him to be realistic. However, he's still funny, charming, and overall good-willed, even if he's spineless and very easily led.

I've greatly changed the fic from the original rp, and only the base premise (yandere!naga!scara and the whole "commissioned to find the culprit for some strange murders in the Hadramaveth") remains the same. It went through several versions at first. In fact, before I came up with Sanad, I was going to have Cyno replace Alhaitham! But ultimately, I realized Cyno was actually competent and I might have had to write a proper fight scene, which I did not want to do. You can still see a remnant of the first draft I chose to leave in (from when Cyno was the disposable companion) in the bad joke Sanad tells at the beginning of the story.

Using Sanad also had other benefits that I feel helped pull the fic together!! His cowardly nature gave reader a chance to endear themselves to Kunikuzushi, for refusing to abandon Sanad even after he (frankly, understandably) ran away. Even this early on, I had decided that whatever backstory naga Kuni might have had, it absolutely had to revolve around betrayal since canon Kuni's backstory is so deeply tied to it.

It's a really minor pet peeve of mine, and it doesn't bother me too much, but I usually don't really like it when the yandere starts to fixate on the object of their obsession for no reason than, like, "love at first sight" or "they simply caught my eye for some vague reason I cannot put into words." It's not bad, per se, and it's not even a solid rule of mine! I can think of several fics I love that don't give a solid reason, though the characters in those have such a dynamic that you still understand why one became so interested in the other to begin with... (I'm making this more complicated than it is, I think, but I'm beginning to think it's just I just don't care for it when the MC has the depth of a piece of paper.) Anyway, I'm getting derailed again, but I chose to give Kuni a reason to empathize with the reader in the form of Sanad and his "betrayal" because of this preference of mine.

However, and I think I've touched on this a bit in a previous post, this wasn't the only reason Kuni decided to spare them. In fact, even after he decided to leave you for last, he still thought he was going to come back to kill you. What really interested him was your insistence on saving Sanad even after what Kuni perceived as a betrayal. Why would you try to help someone who didn't even make an attempt to help you? It doesn't make sense. You're too soft, it's endearing.

Whether or not Sanad's actions are justified is debatable, though I personally understand them. He's never fought in his whole life. If you, the experienced monster-fighting adventurer couldn't do it, how could he? He doesn't even have a sword. It's certainly cowardly and rude to say the least, but given the circumstances, I think it's the choice most people would make in that situation. Of course, it's absolutely something Kunikuzushi could have (and did) twist into something completely different. I think I made it pretty obvious, but contrary to what Kuni said, Sanad had no such malicious thoughts when he left you there. Kuni is extremely jaded; his perception of the world has been mostly shaped by the betrayals he's experienced, and he's no different in this AU. As I said before, Sanad's not a terrible person, just terribly average. If he had survived, he absolutely would have had survivors' guilt.

Anyway!!! I'm not sorry about the infodump, thank you for giving me the slightest reason to tell you all about it. Here's what you actually asked for.

Kuni views most people as inconsequential, little more than helpless ants. He doesn't care about them in the slightest. If anything, they irritate him. So when someone shows up–an old friend, a crush, anyone–his first thought is to get rid of them if they venture too far in, and especially if they see him. Even if he doesn't know that they know you. If he lets them go, more will come. If he finds out they're looking for you, specifically... well, it doesn't really change his plans. He's going to kill them no matter what.

It does motivate him though, to be a bit crueler, to make it last a bit longer. What they are to you doesn't change the outcome, but it might sour his mood a bit more if they were anything more than friends or family. It's not likely that he'll leave them be long enough to find this out, though. Logically speaking, they're probably not going to tell a monster like him all about the friend/family/crush they're looking for in this desert, especially not when he's clearly unfriendly.

It's not totally impossible, though. This hypothetical person would have heard all about the strange attacks (as mentioned in the fic), so seeing a large half-snake person could make them realize that Kuni was most likely the cause for your disappearance (even though they'd assume it was murder and not kidnapping). Even so, I doubt they'd have a little chat over tea about who all Kuni has murdered recently.

Anyway, I digress. Assuming he figures it out somehow, whether or not he tells you about them depends on his mood and your behavior. Unfortunately for you, dealing with people irritates him. Especially when they're specifically looking to take what's his from him.

He'll come back covered in blood either way, but if he's in a bad mood, or you haven't been on your best behavior, he'll tell you all about what they looked like. He makes sure to mention that they were looking for you, and describe in detail everything he did to them.

"I'm going to leave his corpse out to rot in the sun," he hissed into your ear, pulling away to look you in the eye, "for the vultures and serpents to feast on. It serves him right. He was on a fool's errand; it's impossible to retrieve what's lost to the sands."

#naga scara #yandere scaramouche #genshin impact #the first part of Kuni's dialogue at the end of the post is actually ripped right from the rp #alhaitham met the same fate as sanad #thank u for letting me infodump about it. it's the neurodivergency #I like sanad a lot despite his many flaws #oh my word i came back tk this and 2/3 of this post isnt even what you were asking for #id say im sorry but genuinely i am not #i really did see ''idk how you came up with naga scara'' and just went ham huh #tumblr messed up my tags LMAO sorry if they didnt make sense before

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askmstau · 9 months

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Hihihi mod ask!!!!

But I wanted to ask, is there anything you think we should prod/ask about to the characters? Or maybe just a topic you want some more asks to be about? :D /nf

(I ask cause I'm having a hard time coming up with asks rn sudneudj)

i have another ask in the inbox but this is higher priority

SO! the blog is in a. very weird spot right now where Shit Is Weird allow me to introduce you to the askmstau timeline

...basically all major plots are locked behind a fic that i lowkey lost interest in writing and just Dont Feel Like It "now mod", you may ask "why not just change the order!" and the answer to that is that no <3 (its in this order for a reason) so basically shits a standstill. this isnt to rag you guys but "has anything interesting happened" asks are SO PAINFUL bc i have no idea how to answer them! all the interesting shit is behind a wall and its a wall i created so the answer is: probably encourage majortimes. they are in desperate need of development, since flowerhusbands are basically together (TECHNICALLY) and solidaritimes are fruity on all fronts also, feel free to do mod asks! i love answering and infodumping lmao the "detached but related" area is perfect for that sort of thing, since the characters themselves aren't going to talk about a thing that didn't happen. TLDR: uhhh idfk majortimes? dont be shy to ask abt info from them (unless they just. straight up dont know)

(also off topic but if anyone who can assist in writing fic and doesnt mind plot spoilers my messages are open)

#ask #mod ask #text format #image format #ill probably do an event soon #just so that way the lull of nothing lessens #it'll be a bit though i want to finish the drawing im working on lol

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luckynatured · 2 years

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Hey hilbert ever worry your son will be nuzlocked?

((Hi, nonny! I'm gonna answer this ooc if you don't mind! There isn't a huge issue with that question, but I do want to address the 'Nuz.locked' bit. Just because I want to do a little infodump/reminder: it has been a long while since I talked about the Nuz.locke elements as they apply to Hilbert, so I wanted to use your ask as an opportunity to do that.))

((I've put the rest of my rambles under the cut because it got kinda long, but I wanted to get this out of the way: nobody I RP with has to follow anything I talk about under the cut! I promise that if we do anything like a battle thread, nothing will happen unless it's plotted out. This is just how I adapted the Nuz.locke rules into my portrayal of Hilbert and the events of his story, since I have been writing a fanfic about it. I don't update it nearly as much as I'd like to, but it is there.))

((So. I know some Nuz.locke comics or fics portray the whole set of rules as a curse or something completely out of the player character's control (that's the impression I got when you use the term 'nuzlocked'), but that's not how I implemented the Nuz.locke rules for my portrayal of Hilbert.

Rather, the 'first encounter' rule was the result of a bet he made before leaving Nuvema, with the only 'out of our control' element is the death aspect of it. Pokemon can faint if their HP hits zero, yeah. But a Pokemon dying in battle when their HP reaches zero is just as likely (especially if the hit is super-effective or it's a critical hit). It can happen to anyone, unless they're super lucky or just plain blessed (like Lucas ( @timebranded ), who hasn't lost a Pokemon in battle because of certain elements in his backstory.)

So, to answer your question about Hilbert's kids: of course he's gonna worry about his kids once they set off on their journey as Trainers. Losing a Pokemon in a fight is something nobody is ever really prepared for, and Hilbert could only hope that he helped them prepare enough if that makes sense?))

#gray glasses; (anonymous)#reference tag pending #((you're not in trouble nonny you just gave me the perfect opening to talk about something I've been meaning to for a while))

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dominijoyce · 1 year

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13, 19, 28, 35

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

ROOM DESCRIPTION! How do people write them seriously... My girlfriend will go on entire paragraphs describing every detail of a room a character enters, every color and how light falls on furniture, how the crack sounds and what the atmosphere is. My close real life friend will literally Tolkien-esque you a character walking by the river...

And I'm here like. "Um. The room's walls are pink. There is a clock on the wall. Room itself looks old and not taken care of."

Actually, I have similar issue with appearance description but in general those became less of a struggle for me after internalizing fully that no one really fully pays attention to that or they quickly forget details anyway and usually if ya provide just core stuff of how character looks, readers will just fill in the gaps.

On the other hand- I have heard countless times that people heavily struggle with First Person Perspective. Seriously can't relate - I love writing in first person, I love getting into the character's mind and their thought process and thinking of how it differs. I have multiple stories where perspective often shifts SPECIFICALLY because it lets me show how characters differ in how they experience and how they think.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

Good question. I think I started writing back when I started RolePlaying in general. That was like over a decade ago. I started RolePlaying and therefore writing because I already had way too many ideas for characters and stories and everything and so putting them in a form of RolePlay was a way to fuel all of it.

As for bumps... Well, other than me seriously thinking of quitting for good - well. Well I could talk of what happened 1-2 years ago in my writing journey but that's too personal for a public Tumblr blog, I guess ask me about that on Discord, lol. In general my current biggest bump and struggle is trying to go back into any schedule of writing as well as try to break my personal issue with posting my writing online.

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

It's not like anyone here knows any of them lol. However mostly some of my villains of my more fucked up stories where everything is heavily complicated and reader is meant to be confused. In general my stories more oriented around psychological deconstructing of everything around [think Everything Everywhere All At Once level of fucked up psychological deconstruction lol] are those I love writing the most and villains of these... Well most of the time they are perpetrators of that fucked up stuff happening so it's amazing to write them. Again, ask me on Discord if ya want like... actual names or plot points. Not sure if anyone on Tumblr is interested in me infodumping my stories that I will never share publicly anyway, lol.

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

Any kind of cohesiveness lol. My stories will include: random font changes, random font size changes, multiple narrations going at once, dialogues that aren't written in any dialogue format, chapters numbered not chronologically, narrator suddenly stopping talking of the narrative...

If you are reading my story you will get confused and have to double take certain stuff. That's kind of the point. Unless it is like any of my mild stories like ones I publish so like fanfiction or ship fics idk. One of the stories I currently write has two narrators who keep on disagreeing with each other and claiming the other one lies as well as keeping on interrupting each other. It's fun.

For my JoJo Fanpart I'm still wondering how far I wanna go into it. Cause I do wanna publish it on AO3 or like, anywhere. But it involves this stuff, like in my current WIP I literally have drawn a line to split the page in half where half is stuff that is actually happening and actual story and half is breaking points and everytime Jo'Jo or Yona leave their vessels (makes sense if you know the plot). So like. That probs won't end up in final cut unfortunately.

#extraterrestrialoracle #ask game #writer ask game

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leonstamatis · 3 years

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me: i could list off the personal relationships of every player on the flowers with the garden as a god-like entity but i won’t do that to y’all. unless someone wants it.

mads @socksmaybe: i am asking!!

me: [the deepest, longest pre-infodump inhale of all time] okay. let’s talk about the garden, and let’s talk about the flowers.

so to start off, i’m not going to talk about anyone from before season four. there’s a reason for that! my current concepts for the garden rely on the understanding that it was the feedback swap of moses mason and vito kravitz in season 4 that began to allow for human transformations into plants. moses, as a victim of the wyatt masoning, was an open door for supernatural enhancement and transformation. the garden sent its vines into them, and in so doing, learned the pathways that turn humans into monsters and plant-adjacent beings. without that pivotal exchange, everyone would have mostly been left alone.

“but tam!” absolutely no one cries. “that directly conflicts with your previously established interpretation of hurley pacheco becoming a flower person in season one!”

well, to that i have two responses: 1) yes it does. i contain multitudes and i am IRM-ing my own bullshit. or, should you prefer a messier interpretation, 2) hurley’s ability to become a monster actually wasn’t the garden. it was bryanayah. like, sure, the plants were a manifestation of hurley’s love for the garden and for the garden’s love for them. this is all true. but the initial act of transformation was brya giving hurley an exterior ribcage made of branches and roots, so like. brya started it. everything came out of that one action, and it wasn’t actually the garden doing the transformation.

the garden has always known how to create life. it could sprout animated flower monsters like cali and gloria, and it could summon the bees to create inez. but it could not work its way into the bones and blood and veins of living creatures until moses. this is not a permanent, set-in-stone determination, it is just how i’m vibing right now. i will have a fic explaining all of this further at a later date. promise.

moving on, then, to the roster during what i’m dubbing the Transformation Era, which is to say, seasons four through ten. (yes, i know grass blood didn’t come into play until season eight. grass blood does not limit me. i am here to bullshit my way into my own lore.)

let’s actually start with moses, because i am a moses bitch at heart and always have been. moses is a totally normal person until the wyatt masoning? and even after that the tacos didn’t change much, likely because they were swapped over to the flowers pretty quickly after that. my personal interpretation for him is that the masoning left him without any kind of anchor? so they came to the garden not knowing who they were anymore, without the last name of their father figure (chambers, we’ll get to him) or the memories of his past, and all of her feelings of identity are in this whole soup of the los angeli and the wyatts and the masons.

so what do they do? they latch onto the one thing that is solid. they latch onto the garden. the garden latches on back, and i think this is a fairly symbiotic relationship. like, moses needed an anchor and the garden needed something to let it grow and bloom and explore, and it found exactly that in moses mason. these two are happy and content to grow together as one, to share in the experience of Becoming. it is the platonic ideal of what the garden aims to accomplish.

moving right along. honestly there are a few players who are straight up just “i’m happy to be here!” and don’t really think about the garden as a god who controls them, and the garden mostly leaves them alone because they already exist in that monstrous space between plant and person? scores comes to mind, as does owen. these two love the garden as a home and a place to live, but they don’t really need to invite it into themselves because they’ve been a part of this world their entire lives. and the garden doesn’t need to change them, because they are a part of it. similarly, castillo is a cactus. castillo has no opinions. he simply is.

king weatherman and glabe moon, honestly, exist on a similar wavelength here. they both looked the moss woman in the eye and said “do not touch me” and the moss woman said “do your part and we will have an understanding.” not because they don’t belong or don’t fit, but because they both are already magical and something Other, and it is something separate from the garden, and there is a mutual respect. if king or glabe were to ever fuck with something -- say, change the weather during games, or strike down a tree in the memorial garden - i would say this relationship would pretty quickly become openly antagonistic. but they are diplomats, the both of them, and they know to respect the etiquette of the space they inhabit. they tend the plants and they till the earth and the garden lets them stay. i’m not saying this is why i wrote fic about them, but like, the idea of similarly magical people existing outside of the garden’s hold was a formative part of that.

beck, too, is something else. beck loves the garden but she is not a part of it. she is its keeper, the thing that keeps it from becoming overgrown and overrun with weeds, and she loves and tends to it. the garden cannot touch her; she is not a living thing to be transformed, and she is not yet in a state of decay. so the garden gives her what it can; the garden gives her cali. and that can be interpreted as removing cali’s personhood, so let me clarify this a little: the garden didn’t make cali as a love interest, it made her as someone to help beck carry the burden and understand the world around her. they were supposed to work together with a team that was rapidly becoming a combination of plant and person and the inbetween. the romantic affection was never the intention; it happened anyway, as these things do.

everything after this is so much messier.

chambers simmons, for one, has been with the garden for forever. since season one he’s been tending to the plants and weeding out the roots and planting the bats of his deceased teammates. and his hotshot kid comes into town and immediately becomes this beloved thing, this beautiful blooming pinnacle of edenic beauty. and chambers gets absolutely nothing. that’s got to hurt. jaz does this beautifully in their fic about chambers and jo willowtree of the mechs, so give that a read if you want an idea of how this kind of feels. chambers doesn’t change at all, ever. it’s a disappointment.

zeboriah wilson, right? zeb does not typically become a monster either. zeb loves living things more than anyone else here, and loves the sentient plants of the garden more than anyone else on the team for sure. and you know what? the garden gives him inez. this is not something i’ve gone into in depth, but i don’t. like. i don’t go with the lore that zeb doesn’t need a disability aid and is just as good at pitching without sight, regardless. i think the garden saw him struggling and said, “i can help this man. i can return the love he has given me.” and as the bees gathered in anger over the death of morrow, there was an understanding that they would serve two purposes: to protect the team, and to love zeb. not romantically, just like... stand beside him and help him pitch. help him see. be a guide. there is a need to be met, and the garden meets it.

so the garden loves zeb. the garden gives zeb a gift. but it’s not the right one, quite, because what zeb wants is to be completely sustainable without disturbing life that is already present in the garden. like... zeb photosynthesizing is the platonic ideal, because he got so upset at the idea of eating sentient plant life? but the garden will not take that trouble away from him. he has to stay human, because the garden likes the way he tends to it as is, but the garden will show its love in other ways.

continuing with that train, inez is a manifestation of that love, and the fury of the beloved being taken away. inez is an extension of the garden itself. they are what the garden has made them; no change is necessary. similarly, my take on hiroto is that hiroto came from the depths of the forest? like, a moth that lurked in there and sprang forth when cali died in some sort of righteous fury. hiroto has always been part of the garden, and does not need to be taken in. a paladin, kind of. cali was a support beam; hiroto is a sword. and hiroto might be afraid or concerned about that pressure, but ze has been enlisted to do it; and so ze does.

moving right along!

dunn keyes.... man i’m going with the very specific version of dunn keyes also brought up in a different jaz fic, a version i am currently working on a WIP for. dunn was previously contracted out as a performer and had to live up to those expectations, so i think she appreciates the ability to be a little wild and monstrous here? not at first though like. she needs some time to be her own person, you know? the idea of another outside force controlling everything about her is terrifying and she does not want it. it takes a long, long time for her to let the garden in, but the garden waits for her because it sees that she is not actively unhappy, she’s just uncertain and scared. once she gets over that, once she learns the beauty of letting something nurture you and grow inside your gut, she’ll invite the garden in and it will come. for dunn, the garden will be kind and patient and maternal. it will teach her and she will learn.

the garden grows inside dunn as an agent of freedom and as a method of reclaiming her body and her self and her art. the garden turns her twin buns into flowers and turns her hair green instead of pink. it is a reclamation and it is a freedom, and the garden is willing to do that because sometimes plants need to be let out of their pots to grow more freely. sometimes you need room to blossom. this doesn’t happen for dunn until season nine or ten, ish. it does not overstep. it does not take what she does not offer. the garden knows what it is like to have your agency taken from you in a way that is actively harmful, and it knows what dunn needs to mend. so it heals and it protects but it does not change more than she asks for.

in this house we love dunn keyes. anyway, moving right along.

layna, i think, is an interesting mirror for moses’ own journey? she came to the flowers with a very specific anchor for her abilities. she was a hellmouth hellhound. it doesn’t get more direct than that. it starts similar to glabe and king, that same something has already claimed this body, i am not yours. but then the sun goes out, and suddenly layna’s anchor is gone. and she wants that certainty, that anchor, much like moses did after the masoning, but she’s rejected the garden one too many times and it doesn’t come rushing into her the way it once might have. she has to earn it. she has to learn to walk in the undergrowth and bury her hands in the dirt and hear the way the plants call out to her. she has to give herself over to it as an act of apology. in the words of the great fleabag season two: kneel. and then, you know. then the garden opens its arms to her, and takes her in, and transforms her into something new and plant-like, a wolf with mushrooms and flowers blooming on the ridges of her spine and the bend of her legs.

moses immediately opened themself up to the garden upon arrival. layna didn’t. but in the end they both learned to speak to it, in their own respective ways, and to let it live inside of themselves. layna’s just came much later, and she really had to work for it, and i think there’s a certain level of wondering why the garden has placed that burden on her. why it didn’t just help her the way it helps everyone else.

(it’s because you told it not to, layna, and the garden has some pride. (and now layna is in seattle. catch me sobbing quietly in the corner. it’s fine, she’s fine, she’s in a band now and she’ll make it work for her. i hope.))

gloria actually. okay. listen. i was going to put gloria in with castillo when i was thinking about this. but then jaz proposed something that has sent me off the deep end a little bit, so we’re going to do that instead. gloria was the flowers’ houseplant, sort of? and xe sprang up to replace matheo at an away game, presumably because the garden itself couldn’t create a plant from his ashes. (riv matheo, i love you and i miss you every day.) and you know what? i think the garden hates that. i think the garden looks at gloria and sees something that thought xe could do what the garden has done, and that is unacceptable behavior. gloria formed xemself in the image of other players crafted by its divine hand, and, well. the garden can take that away. so it does.

slowly, over the course of the next few years, gloria becomes more and more human. xyr smiling flytrap becomes a human mouth, full of too many sharp teeth but nonetheless sitting in a human face, and when xe brushes out the vines of xyr hair, more and more leaves and petals fall out until nothing is left. xyr skin starts a grassy green but doesn’t stay that way, moving toward more human shades every season. and though gloria may attempt to plead and ask for the garden to give xem xyr body back, the garden is not always forgiving. if xe wanted to be more than just a potted plant, fine. xe will be just like everyone else. xe will be human, or as close to it as the garden can make xem. gloria tries to love the garden; the garden does not return the favor.

i recognize this post is criminally long already. my apologies for that. there are like three and a half more players i want to touch on, and then i’m done.

for example, nic! nic is an outsider. a fun fact about nic winkler: he was the first replacement for a deceased flower, and continues to be the only strictly human replacement at all. he was also brought onto the team during an away game, which could explain the discrepancy, but i’m actually of the belief the garden didn’t fully understand the nature of the game and wasn’t prepared for any of its players to die. so hurley dies and nic steps up to the plate, and when the team returns home is the first time the garden realizes there are limits to the protections it has in place, whatever those may be. this is a turning point that sets the garden down the path of creating new life from the ashes of the fallen, and growing trees from their bats.

so nic is an outsider. the garden holds him at arm’s length. he doesn’t mind that much! his priority is to his teammates, not to the garden itself. he appreciates what it has done for him thus far, and he will tend to it in an effort to prevent it from seeing him as a danger or a threat. it is an attempt at diplomacy, at making peace with the forces that be. but nic is not a spiritual man in the way the garden wants, even after all this time; he rejoices in mundane things, and the garden will tilt its head and watch him in confusion but it will not interrupt.

jacob haynes, on the other hand. jacob my beloved. this man hates what the garden does to people. the only reason why he’s anywhere near acceptance is because of moses and layna’s influence. they show him that sometimes the growth and the change is good, and he loves them both, loves every single part of them. but the idea of losing who he is as Just A Guy is fundamentally the most terrifying thing he’s ever had to worry about. the garden doesn’t really care what jacob wants. i don’t think it reaches in and changes everything. i think it’s small things here and there. enough to be slightly unsettling, and to set jacob off, just so the garden can find some joy in the chaos and fear. because sometimes divine entities are like that.

(the thing about jacob is, i think one day he wakes up and finds vines crawling down his arms, and he thinks maybe moses’ tendrils are just being friendly, but then he looks over and moses isn’t. there. neither is layna. and i think he has to come to terms with the fact the change is happening whether he likes it or not, and he has to learn how to ask the garden for a way to do that which won’t make him feel out of control or like he’s lost himself. he’ll get there. i love him.)

this may surprise you but i haven’t actually thought much about margo in this context. i love margarito nava with my entire heart, but i think xe’s stuck kind of in this place where. the garden started to take xem in and change xem, and then the fire eater blessing hit. and plants tend not to like fire. i think any attempts at growth are stunted by the heat and the burning and the pain, and i think margo is so busy trying to juggle everything else that xe doesn’t really mind being left alone. xe visits the moss woman and groundskeeper to make sure they’re holding up okay, but the last thing xe needs is to worry about more than xe already is. margo walks into the woods and the moss woman asks that xe please not go spraying fire all over her nursery beds, and xe groans and asks if she needs anything or if xe can just go home already. margo brings a levity that removes a lot of the pretentious nature of the garden. it could change xem, but again, it would just get burned away. and is that really worthwhile?

so that’s the flowers! i’m not really touching much on zesty, lenny, cory and nagomi here because they haven’t really been integrated yet in my head. like. zesty is still so new, and maybe she’ll end up being part of the fabric of the garden in time but she hasn’t put in the time, you know? she’s not a live wire the way moses was, and she’s not particularly dedicated to the garden. the plants are still trying to figure her out. lenny is just here to study some trees. someday maybe that will come to something.

cory is a scientist at heart. cory picks up plants like wall-e and keeps them compartmentalized, and the garden weaves weeds through cory’s circuits in love and in thanks. that’s my contribution here.

nagomi.... hm. nagomi is interesting because she is susceptible to the supernatural like moses was? and i wouldn’t be surprised if the garden did reach out. nagomi wakes up every morning with vines and mushrooms and flowers growing over the pieces of shell still left on her skin, after all this time, after siesta and time on the fridays and ascension. i think nagomi doesn’t like this. i think nagomi wants to go home. i think she wants to be the person she has always been, and i imagine there is some frustration in supernatural entities constantly competing for your personhood. i imagine her slowly scraping and picking plant matter off of herself every day, every night, and repeating the process day after day.

however. i am not a nagomi expert. i may be wrong in that characterization. take it with a grain of salt.

and that, i think, just about does it. that’s the flowers. there are other thoughts to be had about matheo and jorge and isaac and brya and vito and hotbox. but i’m not the person with those thoughts, for the most part.

if you read all of this, god fucking bless. how and also why? here. one last plug, i promise. if you haven’t done so yet, you can read my incomplete history of the boston flowers, as told by margo. i am still quite proud of it. also, i owe you.... a cookie or something, i don’t know. thanks. <3

#boston flowers #blaseball #JEEEEEEEEEEEEEESUS FUCK THIS IS A LONG ONE #I AM TRULY SORRY IF THE READ MORE DOES NOT WORK FOR ANYONE #long post //#mine #i hate to be that person but if youre a flowers fan who is in the discord and heavily involved in lore creation i am SO sorry lmao #this cannot possibly line up with yall at all #thank you mads you're a delight as always

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iatethepomegranate · 3 years

Text

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences (for now)

Relationship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast

Summary: After Aeor, Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha. For the first time in more than seventeen years, he has some semblance of stability. Caleb is not sure he's ready to handle it, but he's trying, and his friends are eager to see him live a good life, by force if necessary.

And then Soltryce Academy approaches him with a job offer, which could give Caleb the chance to protect the next generation of wizards the way he had needed at their age. Caleb's goal of preventing what happened to him from happening to anyone else, however, takes a far more personal turn than even he could have anticipated.

(In other words, here is a fic about Caleb settling down and learning how to be a person again. Also Professor Widogast will be a thing. Fic title is a lyric from I Have Made Mistakes by the Oh Hellos. Chapter title is a lyric from Mind by Sleeping At Last. More detailed tagging and notes are available on AO3.)

_____

Chapter 1: It's the first brush stroke of a self-portrait

Caleb had mixed feelings returning to Rexxentrum after spending so long in Aeor… and everywhere else he had been, including a fucking flesh city in the Astral Sea. Sure, he had popped back to Rexxentrum regularly to update the Cobalt Soul on his discoveries, and to testify at Trent’s trial, during the conclusion of which he had the satisfaction of turning down Da’leth’s offer to assume Trent’s position as the Archmage of Civil Influence. But now he was back on a more permanent basis.

He didn’t know what to do with that information. With this place, that was both so familiar and so foreign. Full of some of his best memories, and some of his worst.

Caleb had spent so long avoiding this place, or at least the challenging parts of it, and now Beauregard was dragging him and Yasha down the street, infodumping about a house she wanted the three of them to buy together.

“Caleb, don’t give me that look,” she said. “You’re gonna love this place. I know you like your space, dude, and this is the best of both worlds. It’s technically two houses, but there’s, like, a door between them so we can visit each other. Because you’re a fucking genius but you also forget to feed yourself.”

Yasha smiled at Caleb over Beau’s head. “She’s not wrong, Caleb.” Her soft tone made Caleb a little emotional, but he categorically refused to start crying in the street. “I like my space, too. This is a good balance. And there’s room for a garden.”

“Yasha’s not an Empire citizen,” said Beau. “It looks better if there’s two of us Empire kids on the deed so no one thinks any weird shit about her.”

Caleb sighed at her. “I will look at the house, Beauregard.”

Beau yanked them around the street corner. “It’s a great location. You can walk anywhere. I can get to the Archive, and you can get to the Academy.”

Caleb raised an eyebrow at her. “Do you know something I don’t?”

“Maybe. Astrid says hi.”

The implication that Astrid and Beauregard had been speaking to each other recently was of concern. Caleb was too tired to unpack it. He would find out what that was about eventually. It was not worth Beauregard’s sibling-level mockery if he tried to extract the information early.

“Oh, and Veth sent you this,” said Yasha, passing a wrapped package over Beau’s head.

“Yeah, I might’ve told her we’re buying a house together,” said Beau. “She made Yussa send that to the Soul so I could grab it for you.”

Caleb didn’t open the package, but he did shake and squeeze it a little. It felt like coins. A lot of coins. Oh, Veth. Still taking care of him from miles upon miles away. They’d both come so far from Veth sneaking coins into his pockets because he had felt strange about taking her money even when he desperately needed it.

“Danke,” he said softly. That was all he could say, before he risked bursting into tears again. That was happening to him a lot lately. It… wasn’t the worst thing. More of an inconvenience. He chose not to unpack it.

Beauregard was looking at him strangely. He elbowed her. It probably hurt his elbow more than it hurt her, but she was successfully distracted from his bullshit. She punched his arm. Even holding back like she did, his arm did go numb for a few seconds.

Yasha sighed. “Children, we’re almost there.”

Caleb had been down this street before. Rarely, as it was entirely residential. But sometimes he, Astrid and Eadwulf would explore the city to find excuses to get away from the Academy, especially after they had commenced their training with Trent. But, with Caleb’s memory, he could call upon the map he had drawn in his mind. This was a middle-income area on the southern edge of The Tangles, home to mostly professionals--well-off storeowners, any researchers who did not live in the Shimmer Ward or have access to quarters with the Cobalt Soul, some teachers, architects. Largely people looking to settle down with the money to stay out of the Mudtop Ward.

It was close to the Shimmer Ward, a little southwest from the gate, but not so close that Caleb felt an itch on the back of his neck. The Tangles were the oldest part of the city, with narrow looping streets with little logic to them. This area was slightly newer than most of The Tangles, but still old. Regardless, The Tangles were fairly central to the city and an easy starting point for any travel. If you didn’t get lost on the way out.

This far south in the area, the houses were a little more spaced out. A little more green space, more gardens. Duplex-style houses were common, mostly built of old stone or lumpy brick on the first floor and clay bolstered by wooden frames above that. Children were out in force, running and screaming through the narrow streets while their parents watched from the porch of their homes. Well, for those who had porches.

“There she is,” said Beauregard. They had stopped in front of another duplex-style building, newer than some of the others but still respectable in age. The first floor was made from dark reddish brick and the upper two floors panelled with dark wood to bolster the white clay walls. The first two floors were full in width, and the third consisted of two dormers peeking through the darkly thatched roof.

There were two entrance doors on the ground floor, each spaced a third of the house’s width from the outer corners. The rectangular windows were framed in white-painted wood, dividing the glass on each window into six little squares.

Before the three of them was a low wooden fence, also painted white. The paint was chipping a little, revealing the deep brown heartwood that Caleb suspected was oak. There were a number of oak trees in the Pearlbow Wilderness. Caleb had slept under them several times in worse days. Oak was rather expensive, if he remembered correctly. He usually remembered correctly.

“She’s pretty hot, right, Caleb?” Beau said, snapping out of his hyperfocus on the history of timber in the Zemni Fields.

“Oh… ja.”

“Cool, so the owner will be here in a few minutes to let us in so we can have a look. She wants to sell the place as a package deal.”

Caleb had, in some ways, trained himself out of being too attached to places or most material things (with a few exceptions such as his spell components, spellbook, and the letters he had written to his parents). Unless there was something horrifically wrong inside, he didn’t care where Beauregard and Yasha wanted to live. It was practical that they live together, after all. Caleb had healed immensely this past year, but he was self-aware enough to understand he probably shouldn’t live alone. Of the Nein, Beauregard knew how to call him on his bullshit and Yasha understood him pretty well and knew he needed space sometimes, so it was a reasonable arrangement.

“I am really not picky, Beauregard.”

“Yeah, because you still don’t care enough about yourself to give a fuck about this. We know.” Beauregard looped her arm around his neck, dragging him down to her level so she could rub her knuckles across his scalp, ruining the two narrow braids Essek had worked from Caleb’s hairline to his messy ponytail that morning before they had parted ways beside the secret entrance to Aeor. Caleb talked himself out of getting upset with Beauregard over it. She couldn’t have known, and she was being affectionate like he really was her brother.

Once he was free, Yasha fixed the braids, and Caleb had to stop himself from crying again because she had noticed it bothered him and just… fixed it without making it a thing. Beau straightened her expositor’s garb, clearing her throat.

“Sorry, dude.”

Caleb conjured a mage hand to tug on her ponytail. Beau swatted at it, but her hand went right through it. She gave him the finger. Yasha finished fixing the braids. Everything was normal again.

The owner, a half-elf woman with long blonde hair coiled into a bun that looked like a cinnamon scroll, arrived and immediately shook Caleb’s hand.

“Mr Widogast, a pleasure. These ladies have told me a lot about you. My name is Alphira Winterheart. I teach evocation at the Soltryce Academy.”

Caleb still felt a spike of anxiety when he heard the name of that place. At this point it was ingrained, even if he held out a small amount of hope he would get to teach there one day. It would be easier to fight corruption if he had some say over what the Academy put into those children’s heads.

“A pleasure,” Caleb replied, a little flatter than he had intended. He mentally shook himself, remembering to actually grip her hand for a proper handshake. “Evocation? I used to specialise in that area.”

“Ja, Ms Lionett told me you are now a Transmutation specialist but still frequently partake in the Evocation school in your travels. I’m glad to hear you intend to put down roots here in Rexxentrum. I would love to exchange theories over coffee.”

Beauregard smirked. Caleb remembered a conversation with Essek where they had agreed to return to Aeor and exchange theories. They had meant that literally. But it had indeed sounded like a euphemism to someone like Beauregard. Well, she hadn’t been wrong in the end, but certainly the intent at the time had been more about a meeting of minds than a meeting of…

Caleb concentrated on the conversation in front of him instead.

“Ja, I would enjoy that,” he replied. “What level of Evocation do you teach?”

“Oh, I teach the beginners.”

“And you live here in the Tangles?”

“I did,” said Alphira. “Archmage Beck has offered me lodging on her estate, so I am selling this house. It was always a little large for one person, and it seems you three could make better use of it than I did.” She leaned closer to Caleb, as if to tell him a secret. “The place on the left is where I prefer to experiment and study. I would recommend you look at that one in particular. The dormer is slightly larger. You could even put a teleportation circle up there if you were so inclined, given your need to travel.”

“Danke.” Caleb still felt a little weird about Rexxentrum mages not wanting to kill him, but he didn’t sense any untoward motives from this woman. She seemed genuinely friendly. “How… is the new Archmage settling in?”

“I have no complaints. She seems competent, if a little terrifying. I am uncertain if that is her past as a Volstrucker, or a necessity of the job. She has been nothing but kind to me, and I would certainly prefer to be her friend than her enemy.”

“Ja, we are familiar with her,” said Caleb.

“Caleb most of all,” said Yasha.

Beauregard had to turn away before she burst out laughing.

“We should look at the house,” Caleb said before the conversation could go anywhere strange. Gods, he missed Aeor already.

Alphira unlocked both front doors. They checked the one on the right first.

“This one has a larger living area,” said Alphira, leading them through the entrance. “I am offering the furniture as part of the sale. I have already taken everything I need.”

Beauregard threw herself onto the large couch in the centre of the room. “Yasha and I call dibs on this side of the house. Since you’re gonna spend so much time here with us anyway. We’re taking the larger living area.”

“Beauregard, we have already established that I do not mind.”

The floor underfoot was a pleasant hardwood, probably more oak, and a large rug occupied much of the space. They would have to purchase candles for the evening, but it was well-lit during the day. Caleb followed the women through each of the rooms on the ground floor on this side, largely going through the motions. The kitchen was equally large, and had a good oven for Yasha to practice baking. They would need to purchase a larger dining table.

There was one large bedroom upstairs and two smaller ones, alongside private areas for bathing and other such activities. This was where they found the door between the two houses. The top floor dormer was full of assorted furniture and household items Alphira didn’t need, but they would likely use. Beauregard and Yasha discussed the possibility of turning this into another bedroom for when they had friends over. Or perhaps converting one of the lower bedrooms into a workout space and using this as a replacement. Caleb did not need to contribute much to the conversation, aside from promising he would help move furniture with telekinesis.

Truth be told, Caleb was having a hard time concentrating on the whole thing. He hadn’t really had a home in a long time, and he could not wrangle his mind into understanding the change. The Xhorhaus had been easier to stomach, as nobody had expected to live there forever. But this? Putting down roots? Real , long-term roots?

Maybe Caleb had been homeless for too long. It was beyond his comprehension at this point. And maybe it frightened him a little. He could not afford to inspect those feelings, not right now.

He pulled himself together in time to inspect the other side of the building. His side. His house. Scheisse .

The living area was a little smaller, but could still easily welcome the Nein (just in rather cosy quarters). The kitchen, also smaller but still respectable--a little larger than his childhood home in Blumenthal. There was less furniture on this side; Alphira had evidently used this side more and therefore had more furniture to take. There were two bedrooms on the second floor, one slightly larger than the other. Caleb found himself thinking that he would probably take the larger one just so there was enough room when Essek was over, or maybe he would take the smaller one so Veth could bring her family with her. Fuck. He didn’t know what to do.

And then they visited the dormer. It was indeed larger than the other one. There was a table in front of the window, with a few dark ink stains, and plenty of floorspace to spread out notes or create a teleportation circle. A few chairs were stacked in the corner, seemingly in good condition, and one wall was lined with empty shelves.

Caleb had always been partial to a tower, and this was pretty close. It would make a great study.

He was genuinely excited over a house. In Rexxentrum. A short journey from where his childhood home once stood. He was going to hyperventilate if he thought about this too hard.

“There are already plenty of shelves in my new house,” Alphira said. “These are all yours.”

Caleb nodded slowly, pulling his mind back into his skull. “Wundervoll, danke.” He took a calming breath. “This is a nice place, Professor.”

Alphira smiled. “Yes, I did not make nearly enough use out of it. But I hear you three have a lot of friends from out of town.”

“Ja, we do not see them enough.”

“Perhaps you will see them more once you have a place to welcome them.” Alphira led them back downstairs, and into the other side of the house where they could sit around the small dining table. Alphira already had the paperwork they needed to sign; Caleb got the impression Beau and Yasha had already decided to buy the house before they spoke to him about it. He was glad the decision was out of his hands.

He signed the paperwork, using both his legal name and the name he now wore (Alphira had apparently been briefed on this, and had consulted a contract lawyer on how to make it work on a binding document). Caleb had needed to sign various statements as part of Trent’s trial, so signing in Bren’s name was not as strange as he feared it would be. He was relieved. Beau and Yasha had insisted on finding a way that his new name would also be included, given he had not gone through any legal name-change process. The money Veth gave him more than covered his part of the cost. He needed to hug her. He needed to hug all of them.

Alphira gave them three copies of the contract and handed over the deed to the property. “I will head to the housing authority and file the paperwork immediately.” She slid the keys over the table to them. “Congratulations on your new home.”

She left. Caleb traced the shapes of the letters on his copy of the contract, over and over, letting reality sink in. He had a house. A house in Rexxentrum. A house in Rexxentrum with two of his best friends. It wasn’t at all what he imagined he would have when he was seventeen, when he thought he and Astrid and Wulf would one day have done their duty for the empire and settled down together.

But this was good. This was right .

He cried. Yasha was probably crying, too, but he couldn't see. The three of them hugged across the table, the edges jabbing their ribs.

#critical role #caleb widogast #shadowgast #not a lot in this chapter but there will be #fanfiction #ao3 #my fics #the pomegranate's professor widogast fic

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amazinglyspicy · 2 years

Text

I posted 32,875 times in 2021

9 posts created (0%)

32866 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3651.8 posts.

I added 2,302 tags in 2021

#m - 372 posts

#z - 328 posts

#o - 282 posts

#x - 227 posts

#a - 220 posts

#fave - 206 posts

#c - 184 posts

#mm - 167 posts

#b - 159 posts

#n - 157 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#the building at least had an equal amount of womens restrooms and they were always so clean and empty since they were barely used

My Top Posts in 2021

The feminine urge to get more involved in Zelda fandom or just make more friends who grew up with the series like I did GOD

Anyways if you like Zelda please follow me

3 notes • Posted 2021-10-28 04:59:45 GMT

I’m sorry not sorry for all the Zelda spam lately. You see I’m reconnecting with my roots and I’m unashamed of my childhood now. That being said would anyone care to hear my Zelda lore infodumps

3 notes • Posted 2021-09-04 05:18:06 GMT

girl youre on my blog

I’m night blogging

4 notes • Posted 2021-05-09 09:56:16 GMT

What’s your twizzlers theory?

Oh I’m SO glad you asked. Sorry I’m getting to this late it was buried in my notifications. Anyways.

No one you know actually likes twizzlers. No one ever goes out of their way to purposely buy a pack of twizzlers as a delicious little treat for themselves. No one ever is in a super market standing in line to pay, see a a pack of twizzlers and goes “Hmm I deserve a treat!”

They don’t fucking exist!

I, personally, have only ever ate some twizzlers because it was part of a party pack with some other fun-sized candies. Some bag you get for a party to stuff into a piñata, right? This is the consensus for everyone else I’ve asked.

Now you might wonder why that is. Why would Hershey (yes the parent company for twizzlers is Hershey) sell this candy when it seems to only ever sell at a loss for them? When it’s no one’s favorite candy? This is where we get into conspiracy theory, that I feel is the only logical explanation to seeking this candle wax sugar stick to people.

Twizzlers acts as a *pusher* candy. It’s not meant to be the favorite. It’s not meant to satisfy your sweet tooth. It’s there to *enable* it. You take a taste out of that fun size red tube of unfulfilling saccharine and your brain immediately wants *more* to fill the void this Twizzler has left on you. You seek out the satisfying candy. This is your Snickers or your Reese’s or your actual full size Hershey’s bar to fulfill your drive to get an actual hit of that sugar dose that you’re left craving after your free trial of Twizzler.

Twizzler is your “the first hit is free” pusher candy. It’s not meant to be real. It’s just Hershey’s way of selling more candy. More expensive candy at that. Because Twizzlers are also the candy most mass produced for their fun-sized party bags.

It’s my air tight theory and everyone I’ve ever told it to so far has ended up agreeing with me.

Well, unless there comes a day that some fucking creep walks up to me and says “Twizzlers is my favorite candy and I regularly buy the full size.”

And let me tell you what, when that day comes, I will immediately blow the fucking narc whistle cuz I know for a fact that motherfucker is a Hershey’s worker, pull a god damn Twizzlers wrapper over their head and let them asphyxiate on their throne of wax coated chewy lies.

100% real btw. Thank you for coming to my unhinged Ted talk.

9 notes • Posted 2021-03-10 22:43:13 GMT

This is my fic for The Locked Tomb Big Bang! @tltbb

I put a bunch of work in this fluffy little piece about dancing. It meant a lot to me and I got to work with my really amazing artist @redheartzone who did illustrations for it! Shout-out to @thinknt who provided some support for this as well during the process :)

Summary: 2 love-stuck idiots have a miscommunication. Time to get physical. Or, the Tridentarii have a hell of a time teaching Gideon and Harrow how to dance, in the name of love!

30 notes • Posted 2021-06-25 01:45:45 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#its An absolute fucking tragedy that twizzlers theory isn’t my number one post

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randompasserbyer · 3 years

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For the D.I.D meme, 1, 6, 16 and 17

sytfuygihnoi #1 is a big one so I’ll answer the other 3 in another ask lmao

1. Introduce your headmates/alters. How many are there? What are they all like?

So, there’s 26 of us, give or take 2, so I’ll try to give brief descriptions of everyone in order of when they split. Thank you for asking uwu

Blue is our host. He's the one we all refer to as the owner of the body. His form in the headspace shifts depending on his kinshift, but he’s usually presenting as an Underswap Sans fictive. He uses he/him pronouns a lot but he’s genderfluid and often doesn’t consider himself a man and appreciates being called a woman despite using he/him pronouns. Gender is confusing tyfugihop

Sam is the main protector/gatekeeper of our system. She’s been around the longest, she was the first that Blue was aware of when he noticed the system, and we all kind of look up to her. She’s a “take no shit” type of person and we’re all very grateful for her. She looks like a ghost and I don’t know how else to describe her iohguyfutd

Quadi is our main trauma holder. She rarely fronts and I have zero clue how to describe what she looks like. Nobody ever interacts with her in the headspace because she’s always in her room. If she fronts,, just send her love and support.

Shnep is.. well, I don’t actually know her role, to tell you the truth oiugfyt She looks like Walmart-brand Flame Atronach from Skyrim. She only gets to front if Sam lets her front and it’s a controlled environment. Loves to play videogames tho. Murder Mystery is her favorite cause she gets to let loose.

Watcher is our persecutor. He’s only gotten front, like, twice in the last year but he causes plenty of harm in the headspace. He can shapeshift and the only way we can tell it’s him is that his eyes will stay black. He’s been around just as long as Sam, but you can never find him unless he wants you to. Our protectors are good at keeping everyone safe.

Zane is our sexual protector/trauma holder. He stays in his room as well but we’re free to come visit him at any time. I don’t,, really know?? how to describe him?? He’s another shapeshifter but I personally haven’t interacted with him since I formed so I can’t tell you much ftuhiojn

Viper is a giant skeleton lamia and while I personally quake in fear, he’s a genuine sweetheart and he loves talking to people. He knows broken English but he doesn’t let that stop him. He actually went dormant shortly after forming and nobody knew he even formed until he woke up a year and a half later and everyone went “Huh?????”

Nightshade is an Error Sans fictive. He’s another one of our protectors and he’s really good at his job. To be more specific, he’s an avenger, he helps us deal with our abusers. He’s gotten over his haphephobia for the most part since splitting, though it flares up around strangers and honestly I don’t blame him.

Template is a Template Sans fictive lmao. creative nickname I know XD He’s a middle and Nightshade is fiercely protective of him. He loves to play videogames and draw. Ask him about Spyro or Pokemon ;) He keeps going in and out of dormancy so,, idk when he’ll front again but he always seems to have a good time when he does.

404 is a Blueberror fictive. He’s fairly impulsive and.. yknow, I want to say he’s impulsive, but the guy has so many amnesia barriers about his entire being that I can’t say it for certain. He’s a cryptid. You’ll never see him in the headspace unless you see one of his soft triggers and he has so few of those lmao (Our partner says he’s like Ghostbur but hyper, so take that as you will)

Gold is a Birdtale Sans fictive. He doesn’t like to talk unless you’ve gained his complete trust, or he’s alone. He’s very much a “body language is a universal language and it’s the only language in the universe I know” kind of guy. He tells great puns tho. He’s pretty chill. Apparently he formed like.. years ago?? And Sam had just been blocking him from the main area of our headspace for a really long time??

Squid is our Ink Sans fictive (are you seeing a pattern here? Hyperfixation go brrrr). He’s chaos but he can be pretty down to earth if he wants to be. He’s stuck in a state of constantly missing his old life, though. He loves to draw and leave long supportive chaotic comments on other people’s art. If he can’t draw, he gets anxious.

WDG is our Handplates Gaster fictive. His lab takes up the entire basement of the headspace mansion and half of it is just an entrance to the Void, which only he and Shard can access. He’s very analytical and emotionally and physically distant, but he’s really good at making sure the body is taken care of. He likes to document everything he does and when so it’s pretty easy to see what he did when he fronted. Terrified of his curiosity though, that skeleton loves science way too much.

Shard and Sunshine are a subsystem Shattered!Dream fictive. Sunshine is really sweet but very paranoid and sensitive. Shard is actually both a persecutor and a protector. Kind of a.. “Nobody gets to hurt this system except me” kind of vibe, yknow? He’s been working hard to reform though because he hurt our partner once and felt really bad. He’s come a long way ^^

Viola is an Underswap Sans fictive, but she split from a fanfiction called By the Angel (it’s nsfw if you look it up, but it’s got a great plot lol). She’s actually transgender since her fic has her as he/him and we’re very supportive of her <3 She’s.. I don’t know how to describe her other than she’s got an old soul and a old-fashioned way of speaking. She loves to listen to kulning videos. Swedish culture really vibes with her.

Drake is a fictive from a really old Minecraft roleplay called The Haunted. He’s half Enderman and he can do magic. He’s kind of timid and his anxiety is always through the roof. He gets hella dysphoric when he fronts and often has headaches and we’re?? not sure?? if he’s a subsystem or not??? with Herobrine??????? He won’t tell anyone if he is or not, he just dodges the question.

*inhale* Pinky is a vampire Ink Sans fictive. He’s what would happen if you gave a vampiric opossum a bigger body lmao. He’s incredibly mischievous (and a tad selfish, if you ask me) and likes to cause pranks at the worst times. He adores our partner though.

TB is a Technoblade fictive/factive. Both?? It’s hard to tell with him. He looks like a twunk piglin and behaves like one too. He’s taken on the role of protector recently, though, and he monitors any new splits until we’re sure they’re not going to hurt the body or any relationships with other folks. He likes to talk about piglin culture a lot. (he kins Billiam and it’s entertaining to watch him call everyone peasants and poor when we too are in fact poor)

Phil is our Philza fictive. He’s the dad friend of the system, the caretaker. He takes a very neutral stance on things and will often refuse to step into a fight, but he will try to calm folks down. I can’t tell you how much of a comfort he is. He loves to talk about his past life and his little family, though he gets sad about it sometimes.

Ghost is our Ghostbur fictive. He loves pranks and he’s very sweet. He has so much blue, you would not believe. He’s such a softy and loves to make people smile. He either hangs around TB, Phil, or Theo and he doesn’t usually front alone. He does have Alivebur shifts but he essentially just gets really edgy and depressed in a sort of self destructive way, but he’s still soft. He just tells really wild jokes and he’s a lot more impulsive.

SNL/Space Heater (he doesn’t have a good nickname yet) is our Sapnap factive/fictive. He really enjoys front but he doesn’t really get much done when he fronts tfuygiuhoip He just reads fanfiction lmao. He loves Dadboyhalo and Dreamnap content. He’s a pretty chill guy, doesn’t get into a lot of fights. He just wants to have fun.

Theo is our protege!Tommy fictive. He actually split from the popular fic Rewind and he’s just been.. vibing? He gets along well with Sapnap most of the time but he’s had a lot of trouble warming up to TB, Phil, and Ghost. I think he enjoys front?? He fronts often enough. I don’t know how to describe him except that he’s very Tommy-like lmao

Fakier is our newest split. He’s an ARG Wilbur fictive. He doesn’t like to talk too much about himself but he loves to infodump about codes and cryptic stuff like that. He’s actually done a lot with taking care of the body and taking long walks outside and just, enjoying life. He did leave the windows open on a really cold day tho and our apartment hasn’t been warm since :\ He seems cool, I’m just annoyed that my fingers and toes are freezing off lmao /hyperbole

We’ve had a few integrate over the past two years so it’s hard to keep track of how many there are for sure, but that should be everyone. Sorry for the wall of text dytufibonk Hope you liked the answer tho ^^ I’ll answer the other 3 answers tomorrow in a post together and @ you so you don’t miss them uwu

#rasks #actually did #actually osdd #fictive alter #tb is fronting #my posts #about our system #ask meme

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spikeymarshmallows · 4 years

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new followers?

....Okay, so I somehow have managed to gain a bunch of followers in the last 72 hours. Like, not just one or two, but like, more in 72 hours than I have in the history of this blog...

First of all: are you lost? I promise, I do not post much quality content.

I wonder if I should make a “Before You Follow”.....

I think I’m gonna make this my “before you follow” lololol.

Anyway, if you’re not lost! Welcome to my blog!

I’m Spikey, but because we’re friends, you can call me Spikey.

I am a ~mixture~ of things. I love TUA, and specifically ship Kliego. But I’m also a dirty, filthy multishipper and love me some Horrance, Even Trio, among other things. But the important bit to know is: I ship the TUA siblings together. If that is a squick, or a trigger, please, just unfollow. I don’t mind.

If you are only interested in my writing, maybe this is the blog for you! It’s 99% fic updates, and the occasional thing that reminds me of my fics.

I’ve also started a misc “hippy/witchy stuff” blog. It’s pretty disorganised rn.

But if you’re here for other stuff, I have....

An ADHD infodump + an ADHD tag

A “lol” tag

Stuff on asexuality

And then some politics kinda thing.... like “eat the rich”

I have been on the interwebz since I was Too Young, and am a big fan of “curating your own experience”. As such, I believe in liberal blocking of people. If you’re blocked by me, and you’re wondering why, it’s probably because you posted something anti-like, or reblogged a lot of anti-posts. Soz brah.

I have a background in psychology/sociology/anthropology, and am a dirty filthy liberal who supports controversial ideas such as “universal healthcare”, “free education”, and even “universal basic income”. I don’t hate all of capitalism, and I think that arguments conservatives make about lefty’s are bullshit, but I try not to get into that in what is meant to be, overall, my happy place.

Despite the crippling depression and sometimes very sad posts, I am a firm believer in aggressive positivity and think that, unless they’re nazis, you should always choose to be fucking kind.

I think a nice way to welcome people to this blog is to share some love with other people and their fanworks!

So, here! Have a few recs!

UnrememberedSkies’ “Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea”. Honestly, I cannot rec Rem’s writing enough. I put off reading this series because it listed horror, but honestly, I’m a fucking baby about anything remotely scary and I adore this series. I want to shove it in my mouth and keep it there forever.

sweetstuff’s “The Fools’ Journey”. Okay, so I haven’t read this (YET), but I know sweetstuff and without even having read this yet, I know it’s going to be spectacular. The only reason I haven’t gobbled this fic up yet is that I’m very trapped in depression and also writing my own epic rn.

achilleees is someone everyone in the Kliego fandom probably knows about, and their fics are *chefs kiss*. But if you feel like trying something new, their Five/Diego fics introduced me to a whole new world. [Please note--Five is aged up!]. My favourite is definitely “a win-win proposition”.

achilleees may have gotten me interested in aged-up!Five/Diego, but Electra-XT kept the flame going. I am particularly fond of “Need a Vacation” because it has some glorious wit and snark, but it also has this one particular scene with Five that I have maybe sent to numerous people with a series of keyboard smashes. I won’t spoil it. You’ll know it when you see it.

If you’re interested in meta, and also salt, rappaccini is where I suggest you look! I’ve never known anyone to notice things like she does, or to think about things in the way she does. I am constantly blown away by her mind. Also, she’s a neato writer! She writes a lot for Fiveya, but “family feud” will forever be one of my favourites.

sarkywoman also has some amazing fics! “The Price of Parenthood” destroyed me. She’s also an incredibly lovely, lovely person and I enjoy our interactions and her blog a bunch!!

c0ffeebee does some of the most beautiful fanart I’ve ever seen. Also, turns out we used to run in the same fandom many years ago! How neat is that???

I’m certain I’ve forgotten some amazing people....

Some other Good Eggs are:

Anyway. Thanks to all the new people for the follow. But uh, yeah! If you’re an anti... or a minor... or just hate harcest....... this is probs not the blog for you!

#long post #spikey recs #before you follow #personal

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ladykittenfair · 5 years

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Description in Fanfic

@ao3commentoftheday had some interesting things going on recently talking about description (and a lack thereof) in fanfiction. Instead of cluttering a post, I wanted to talk about my experiences over time with writing description in fic.

Namely, how I’m having to consciously relearn to write description, and how I feel it adds tremendous value to a story.

Now, I am not passing judgment on anyone who doesn’t do description in fic. It’s one of those things you literally do not have to do in fanfic because your target audience already knows what everyone and everywhere looks like, unlike in original fic where you have to spell everything out.

That said, I have the privilege of writing with a few other stellar fic writers (who also, perhaps not coincidentally, write original fiction) and each one of them is just... fantastic in description, and it has made me aware that I’d personally fallen into barely describing... anything. I can only think it started with “well of course people know what this place/person/thing looks like, they’ve played the game/watched the series/etc!” and just... snowballed into being super lax with description of anything.

And again, it’s not that I feel you absolutely have to in fic, because by nature people can fill in the blanks unless you’re deviating from canon. In fact, I can’t say I always notice it’s missing.

But.

I always notice when it’s added. Description adds so much depth, you have to go seriously overboard into the realm of tediousness before it could actually detract.

I’m not saying you have to stop and give the sort of standard OF “protagonist describes themselves” or infodump about a location, but a casual note about character details or a little paragraph description of a location - even just a throwaway line or two - can set the mood.

Not only that, but it’s super helpful for people who A) haven’t been back to the canon source in a while, B) have never had access to canon and are just ‘learning’ through fanon, C) aren’t actually in the fandom, but are reading it because you wrote it.

It also serves to cement a scene in your mind. Seriously, giving yourself a more concrete mental image can help anchor you in the moment, and make your characters more reactive.

I’m sure there’s other people who can address this more eloquently but yeah... description, while not actually needed in fanfic, can add to it’s quality tremendously and is frankly just good practice for you as a writer, period.

#writer things #fanfiction

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spartalabouche · 4 years

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adhd brain hyperfixated on albino cant stop wont stop gonna go crazy

love love love love albino dave, its one of my favourite strider headcanons. especially as an albino myself!! my dads black, but im paler than my mom, and shes irish. it just fills me with so much joy when i see albino dave and i cant explain why, especially when people include lesser details about it i dont remember how i ended the last ask, i got distracted by reading again, oops. but anyways!! albino dave! i love it, and i recently read a fic that included the *eye problems* that come with it!! it wasnt obvious yknow but for me it was and i honestly think i cried a little cuz i dont see that a lot. despite having it, im not *extremely* well read up on albinism, so im sorry if i ever get anything wrong :( if i remember correctly from what i read, there are 2 major types of albinism, oculocutaneous albinism (OCA), which affects the skin, hair, and eyes, and ocular albinism, which affects just the eyes. so you can be dark skinned and have albinism too, itll just be in your eyes. i think i remember there being different types of OCA, but i haven’t read too much on that, and its not that important right now. i just want to ramble about the visual aspects of albinism! so anyways, visual aspects, due to there being not enough pigment in our eyes, which is essential for them to work properly, we have a bunch of eye problems to deal with. someone with albinism is going to be visually impaired, and will probably have troubles with their eyes judging depth perception properly, but there are other things they can have too, like nystagmus, strabismus, and photophobia! nystagmus is uncontrollable rapid eye movement, like the eyes are constantly shaking. my mom says it gets more noticeable when im tired, but ive hardly noticed it. strabismus is when your eyes look in different directions, but my glasses correct that. photophobia is just an extreme sensitivity to light, and my glasses tint when im outside to help with that. (had to rewrite this cuz i hit the ask limit, idk if the others sending so sorry if you get two of the same thing.) scared to hit the ask limit again oh boy. anyways, eye stuff!! my vision is 20/200, meaning what someone with 20/20 vision can see 200 metres away, i have to be 20 metres away from it to see it. of course im assuming it varies for everyone but thats just me to use as a reference. back to dave being albino... dave would definitely have some eye problems, but his shades could totally be prescription shades!! of course, that means nobody else can wear them unless they want to hurt their eyes or get a headache, but still! or maybe he could have contacts, i dunno. ive heard theres some kind of laser eye surgery, but i thiiink it only corrects the nystagmus and strabismus, not the bad vision itself. uh, hmm... i think that concludes my infodump. sorry for bombarding your inbox with asks, i really really needed to ramble about this. if you have any questions just let me know and ill try to answer them the best i can!

WOW anon this a lot @__@ NOT REALLY SURE WHAT PROMPTED THIS? but its very cool ive read up a little on albinism before just for interest and also for getting details right in a thing that nobody else is ever gonna even read but why not make it accurate u know but its very interesting! i pasted it all in case anyone is interested i guess?! and side note i also really like albino dave as a headcanon i really gotta draw it more cuz i think its so fun. i feel like i know a fanfic with albino dave in it as well but i cant remember what it was but if i do ill tack it onto this post

#long post #Anonymous #ask #alarm bark

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sleepless-in-starbucks · 5 years

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Earth, Pluto, and Sombrero Galaxy for the space asks ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥

Earth- Where’s your home?Because I like to be a Vague Shit I’mma answer with America. As soon as I can flee tho it’ll be Canada or somewhere fun.

Pluto- What time is it right now where you are?Hmmmm Triple Kiss I feel like you’re looking to tell me it’s bedtime again hmmmm. But for you’re information it’s about six thirty (by the time I finished the list tho it’s now like. eight thirty ish)

Sombrero Galaxy: Do you have a crush right now?Laughs in aroI do have several platonic crushes/squishes if that’s what you meant tho. And I am treating them just like one should treat crushes: telling no one and never facing my feelings. I’m good at this alright.

And idk if you saw the tags or not but you fell within the 90% chance of getting space Remy ranting because damnit I love him. In this case it’s more like... sneak peak at an idea for a fic I might write one day in the distant future of whenever school stops hating me though.

So it’s losleep because I’m predictable af

Remy who’s gone most of his life slowly having the life stomped out of him

He’s always loved space but no one wanted to listen

Like. Ever.

His rants got shorter and shorter until they just stopped happening

He started wearing his sunglasses both to hide his excitement when someone else starting talking about space (so he wouldn’t get called out or mocked) and to hide his hurt when he was mockingly called ‘starboy’(If anyone had meant it nicely, he would have loved that nickname)

He switched his constellation covered leather jacket for a plain one

By the time he made it to high school he was a whole different person

Dead inside, dead outside, missed half his classes (but still passed them all), sarcastic and generally considered the most infamous bad boy in the school

Logan of course wants nothing to do with him

Remy’s a mess, Logan’s not, and ap courses are hard enough without a bad influence

Remy doesn’t have the zeal or care to chase Logan in this one (which given my love of flirty Remy is so crazy, I know

)But a biology trip to an aquarium ends up with them as bus buddies

Logan expected to hate it but Remy’s normally quiet unless you give him something to sass so the ride there is surprisingly peacefully

And when they get there Remy lets Logan go wherever he wants and look at whatever (Remy mostly came on the trip because the teacher said it was mandatory to passing and he forgot to call in sick the morning of)Logan starts out just looking at the exhibits, pointing out a few facts

Remy doesn’t seem the most interested in what he’s saying, but sometimes his mouth will tip upwards just a little or an eyebrow raise will pass his shades

And Logan takes that positively and slowly but surely starts talking more and more and longer and longer until he finds one sign talking about sharks and just absolutely rants about all the sharks he can name, excitedly, making connections haphazardly as he jumps between species

Remy’s smile is nearly a grin at this point and damnit it’s a good thing he’s wearing sunglasses because the amount of pure adoration in his eyes was rather embarrassing

Logan glances over at him halfway through his explanation of thresher sharks- one he had been happily going on with for a full five minutes- and his speech falters, much to Remy’s disappointment

He mumbles an apology and starts to head for a different exhibit when Remy stops him like ‘??? why you stop’

And Logan looks disappointed in himself when he says he didn’t realize he had been going on so long, he is sincerely sorry, especially since Remy’s stuck with him and hence can’t walk away from his infodumping

Remy’s just ‘honey why would I want to walk away’

Logan is Surprised because like poor Remy no one’s ever wanted to listen to him rant

He tries to call Remy on faking interest and then Remy recites several new shark facts right back at him so it seems he does care

Logan’s still on edge about ranting more in the aquarium but Remy pokes him a lot for more info, and they spend the entire ride back chatting about it (read: Remy slowly falls more and more in love with Logan while the nerd continues to explain every wonder of the deep sea he can come up with)

The school has a whole scandal over the smartest kid suddenly hanging out a lot with the bad boy

They wonder what they’re planning when really every lunch is just a chance to do more ocean info dumping

As they get closer, conversation shifts into more areas: into different sciences, into maths (most of which is Remy squinting suspiciously at Logan for understanding all the formulas), into talking about fashion and movies and everything under the sun, really, except space

Logan’s started to notice how Remy will pause whenever the topic moves to space before skillfully redirecting them into another topic

Logan knows that hesitation- the hesitation of wanting to say so much and fearing it’ll be shot down immediately, a sort of fear that’s not natural so much as it is taught, and he starts to wonder if Remy’s as uncaring as he likes to pretend he is

After all, Logan came to high school swearing off feelings in general, along with ocean talk- avoiding not only a specific type of ridicule but avoiding getting hurt by any insults

It’s not that far of a stretch to assume Remy did something similar, just in a different way

So Logan, using his Big Brain suggests that one of their study dates (yeah they started having study dates a while ago. techincally they’re not dating, just studying/chatting but like,,,,,,,,,,,,, yeah) happens closer to night, sprouting some mostly bs about the brain absorbing more information at night

Remy doesn’t see anything coming so he agrees

They start off studying in Logan’s house but then Logan says he needs a break and starts to head outside

Remy’s confused as to why he’s heading outside but Logan says he likes to breathe the fresh air

When Remy questions why Logan needs to breathe the fresh air on the roof of his house Logan says he likes the height

Remy just shrugs it off and follows him because a) he’s not expecting a trap and b) Logan’s cute he wants to follow him alright

Logan, beautiful smart magnificent Logan, starts casually talking about the stars

He doesn’t know a lot about them, he notes, and then points at a random one and casually wonders out loud about what it’s named

Remy has an answer suspiciously quickly (normally he’d be more reserved but, and I will continue to say this, Logan a Cutie. he wants to impress him)

Logan slowly lures him deeper into the trap by starting with praise (’I didn’t know that. thank you for telling me.’) and follow-up questions (’what’s that one next to it?’ ‘is it a part of any major constellations?’)Remy slowly but surely gets more into it, short one-word explanations morphing into descriptions that morph into histories and exact chemical compositions (or at least what they’re believed to be) and ages and more

At some point he took his sunglasses off to see better and Logan could not be more in love

His eyes are literally sparkling, and now that Logan can see his eyes he sees they’re coffee brown with golden specks like the stars are literally in his eyes, which is a rather romantic comparison coming from Logan, but he’s pretty sure it’s just the truth

Remy’s never been as alive as he is in that moment, and Logan wants the moment to never end, to watch Remy continue to point and gesture and explain, jumping between history and mythology and science, and Logan’s suddenly unsure why he ever questioned Remy’s ability to do so well in school- he’s just always been hiding his reasons for knowing so much

Exactly like Logan did, he glances over for a moment, and Logan was ready to faint at the utter joy on his face, and ready to cry at how quickly it died as Remy shut his mouth like a steel trap

His apology is brief, just a tough ‘sorry’ followed by a ‘we should probably get back to studying...’He tries to leave and Logan grabs his arm before he can, getting him a confused stare that’s both hopeful and pained

Logan askes why he stopped

Remy says something about boring Logan/getting in the way of study time/other miscellaneous bs

And Logan just goes ‘I don’t think you could ever bore me. Especially not with such an interesting topic. And one you enjoy so thoroughly’

Remy’s highkey ‘excuse me lies are mean’

‘good thing I’m not lying then’

Remy: :O

Remy’s further attempts to avoid the issue eventually lead to Logan just stating the obvious of ‘you listened to me infodump about the ocean why can’t I listen to you infodump about the universe’

‘this is different’

‘I find that doubtful’

‘the ocean is really interesting, who wouldn’t want to listen to a rant about it- and hey you looked so cute and happy to, I mean it would be criminal not to listen-’

‘the universe is just as interesting as the oceans, arguably more so. and the way you phrase that, as if you are not just as cute and happy- unarguably more so- is quite misleading’

Remy’s been minorly murdered by both genuine interest in his interest and also that compliment

He finally mutters something about starboy (’but I’m just starboy...’)

Logan’s Confusion and when Remy mumbles how that’s what all the middle school classmates called him he’s minorly (read: MAJORLY) furious

Like yeah he went through the same thing but doing this to Remy ??? illegal

He says so

Remy scoffs

Logan says so again, but with more feeling

Remy scoffs again but with less feeling. He mentions, offhandedly, that is wasn’t really that bad of a nickname- it was the venom everyone had in their tone when they said it that made it awful

Logan Sees An Opening And Makes His Move

He scoots closer to Remy and gently cups his face and turns him to look at him, and softly, so softly, a whisper in the night, lost as quickly as a speck of sand from the top to the bottom of the hourglass in the light wind, he says,

‘then let’s lose the venom’ quietly quietly ‘and you can be my starboy’ a promise, a lovely promise, lovelier than any promise Remy has heard before, so sincere, so perfect, and sworn beneath a starry sky of cloudless night, where every star will hold that promise and watch it too completion, galaxies swirling in beautiful normality as they inch closer and closer like stars too close and spiraling towards each other until they meet, and instead of the vast darkness of a black hole forming something so bright it would sear your eyes right out of your face explodes into existence instead

A lovely night to fall in love and be loved for all of you, even the bits the world tried to force you to hide

#just had to reformat that whole thing #tumblr stop being dumb challenge #also sry #I rant too much I know #I just love the idea alright #and I will write it all #....eventually #the cryptid speaks #the cryptid answers #triple kiss anon #ts logan #ts sleep #losleep #write losleep cowards

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hagaard · 5 years

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remember when I wrote "My next post will be a writing prompt"? well. lies. it's not done yet 'cuz it's exam period right now, so I essentially have no time for this. instead, I'm going to do something that I have wanted to do for a long time: screaming into the void. I never had a place to scream into the void before, but now I do. I should have started doing this a long time ago... anyways, if you want to read my two cents on the current state of the brony fandom and how I feel about it, then it's under the cut. and if you don't... you're probably right. after all, this is self-indulgent.

So I've been sucked into MLP a few years ago, in the French equivalent of high school. I can't remember when exactly, but I do remember that I was suffering from pretty severe depression. When I discovered the show, which was on a vacation day, I binged the first season in an afternoon, and followed with the second the very next day. It was... different. Refreshing. Bright. Colorful. Happy. I felt like I had found something that I was missing. And I loved it.

I started searching for content online. I found forums, websites, fiction repositories... all in French, since I hadn't learnt English at the time. But the content was... disappointing? Not what I was looking for. The big forum I joined was very toxic. I still have an account there, but I never visit. The fiction repository was better, but still had its fair share of drama. I wasn't satisfied. The bulk of the content was locked behind a language barrier.

I tore it down in a few months. A few months is all it took me to go from "hello-how-are-you-goodbye" to a good enough level that I was able to understand most of what I was reading. Not everything, of course. But enough. And from there, I would only go up. That's so emotionally invested I was; and, despite this, I could never talk about all of this to anyone. I was constantly looking for new content, but I was so anxious about myself and talking about what I liked that I never really got to talking to the content creators I was adoring. I never talked to anyone about the happiness they filled my life with. I was having suicidal thoughts, but here they were, with their beautiful stories about pastel horses doing stuff. It kept me alive, and I never thanked them. I didn't talk to my own therapist about this, and yet I could have trusted this man with my life! That's how anxious I was talking about my hobbies.

During all this time, I was vaguely aware of the controversies about the fandom. To outsiders, we were a joke. A black sheep, to point at and laugh at. And I don't know how to feel about this, because now, I feel... they can be right. I'd like to say we generally have a safe and welcoming community. I'd love to say that everyone in the MLP fandom is nice and kind. But I feel like I can't say this. There is an uncomfortable number of alt-right sympathizers (read: fascists) that proudly wear MLP badges and such. There are an uncomfortable number of misogynistic assholes within the community. The fandom often gets angry over little nothings. I have met a number of homophobic, transphobic people within the community. I feel like Hasbro is uncomfortable of our very existence because of this.

I still remember that one guy in one of the forums I was visiting, that had as a signature (roughly translated): < "Lesbian ponies" is lunacy, and the worst idea the fandom ever came up with. > I didn't understand why this made me so uncomfortable while younger. Now I know why. It's the idea that lesbian cartoon ponies, homosexual fictional characters, should be treated as fucking jokes, that made me uncomfortable. This guy had no issues shipping a mare with a stallion. At the exact moment it was two mares together (and considering the very balanced cast of 90% mares, which I'm not complaining about by the way, the target is supposed to be girls), it was a joke. It wasn't serious. It was lunacy. This guy couldn't understand w/w pairings as anything else than a joke.

Holy shit.

Also. Adult content! I would usually argue against talking about the adult part of any fandom, 'cuz they're generally a more niche thing? I think? But when half of the featured box in your biggest fanfiction repository, fimfiction.net, is smut fiction, I'd also argue it's a part significant enough that you'll want to talk about it, so here we are. MLP adult content is like any content. There is the better part, which is... cute ponies having fun and it's also hot. And that may be just my perception, but I feel like that's not what the bulk of the content is. We get a lot more of... general sexism, rape, gore, exaggeration, "extreme" content. And y'know, if porn is your thing and you're able to dissociate the reality from what you watch, then go nuts or something. But as the audience gets younger (we used to get a lot of 40s in the fandom, now most who join are 15 or whatever), you'll also expose people that don't have the tools to deal with this stuff and will confuse it with reality. And I really think we as a fandom don't generally put up enough content warnings for that. Not nearly enough. (also. foalcon. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HAIRY. STOP DOING THAT.)

A whole lot of other shit, too! Weird ships that are both popular and potentially abusive! I used to ship Twilestia, aka a student and her mentor/motherly figure, which is NOT FINE! unless you screw with the canon to change a lot of things in their relationships. Don't get me started on Lunestia, they are SISTERS STOP DOING THIS INTERNET! Outside of shipping wars, now, there was that debate on one featured fic about whether making a joke about transgender people being traps and transwomen being disgusting was fun: it was a terrible joke, stop calling out others for being "overly sensitive". Fallout: Equestria, the crossover that literally split the fandom in half! That is not a joke. And what would be a good fandom without its edgy fiction where the entire country gets brainwashed, the women are now all slaves, the men are now all phallocentred assholes that spend their free time thing about sex or raping every woman they see? I'll tell you what it would be: A MUCH BETTER FANDOM. This story is literally "what if I narrated a game of FATAL"? And it's awful, of course, but also, absolutely exhausting.

So I stopped seeking MLP-related content. I was so focused on the negatives, at some point, I couldn't take it anymore. I took a pause. I stopped checking for updates on stories I was following, stopped making searches. Despite this, I was still reading stuff about other things. There sometimes was a joke about how bronies were all ugly fat kissless virgins, and it always hurt me to read it, because I knew it was a lie. But sometimes, I believed it. I never really got a chance to talk to anyone about this.

I'm glad I can now. I should have created my own little corner to scream into the void a long time ago. I should be able to talk about my interests, rather than reading what others think about them. Everybody should relieve themselves of the pressure sometimes. Can you believe I never once did that? I used to had a blog somewhere else, but the platform was and still is absolute garbage.

welp, here ends the rant. better post this on my tumblr too until I chicken out like I did with that infodump about that one game nobody cares about.

#mlp #rant #fandom #fandoms #shameless self indulgent post

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