of-solitude-past-and-present

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

stop having secret crushes on me and just have insane and incredibly devoted crushes on me instead

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

i like yandere fics because i would much rather be locked in a basement and subjected to unspeakable horrors than work

#.

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

JJK SPOILERS

THEY LET GOJO OUT OF THE BASEMENT ?????? AND I ONLY HEARD ABOUT IT NOW ?????

#HI EVERYONE SORRY I DISAPPEARED!! IM ALIVE JUST NOT WRITING #I have this fun little Rook fic I want to finish. hoping to get that done soon #feel free to poke me with a stick #also uhhh sorry abt naga scara my hyperfixation died #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #chapter 221 spoilers #jjk spoilers

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

Redamancy.

Yan Scaramouche x F Reader.

Warnings: Yandere themes and unhealthy relationships. Word count: 1k.

“You scowl too much.” 

If anyone else were to speak to Scaramouche, Sixth of the Eleven Fatui Harbinger in this way, they’d certainly be reduced to a pitiful pile of ash on the ground. Perhaps he’s thought about subjecting you to this fate, once or twice. That number could very well have been bumped up to three times if the indignant air he currently regards you with is to be considered. 

Then again, no one aside from you would get to experience this deceptively domestic scene. You sit beneath a canopy, branches free from winter’s thaw hastily preparing buds to herald in spring. Scaramouche holds your thighs captive, the soft flesh serving as his pillow. Indigo locks splay out against and tickle your skin. 

“There’s a lot to scowl about,” he replies, though he makes an effort to relax his tense facial muscles. The contemptuous smile he gives makes his previous expression look benevolent in comparison. “I’m stuck dealing with a fool of a woman who’d probably wander off a cliff because she was too busy admiring the clouds.” 

“Clouds are meant to be admired.” 

“Case in point.” 

“You make it sound like I’m chained to you with iron shackles, though,” you raise your ankle (notably shackle free, imagine that), drawing his attention and ire. Your sarcasm never fails to rile him up. He never seriously tries to put a stop to it, however. Such is his capricious nature. “If I’m such a bother, why not let me wander off the cliff?” 

Scaramouche grits his teeth. “Because…” 

There’s a pause, then, weighty and tangible. You know what he both wants and fears to say. If he were any less of a coward, he’d fill the aromatic air with truth, rather than engaging in his usual sidestepping. He’s so proficient at the act you swear he could moonlight as a crab. This mental image earns a barely contained giggle from you, one that further sours his mood, if such a thing were possible. 

Knowing you as intimately as he does, he correctly assumes that he’s the unwitting source of your amusement. 

“I can’t stand you,” he grumbles. Whether it’s to you or himself, you can’t decide. “Truly, I can't.” 

“Then hand me over to someone who can.” 

There’s a flash in his eyes then — otherworldly, malicious — he disregards composure like a snake abandons shed skin. He rises in a flash. Inhumanly cold fingers take your chin captive, bringing you closer to him, his delight in the ease with which he can manhandle you evident. Always the type to go for grand gestures, this one. His theatrical outbursts befit his moniker. 

Scaramouche grins, beset with an onslaught of bitterness akin to a black hole. It draws in and swallows anything unfortunate enough to be nearby. 

“You just love testing my patience, don’t you?” 

If you feared him, maybe you’d tremble, but you don’t, so you are still. It’s likely that you should fear him. He is volatile, a mess of contradictions too complicated to untangle, a vessel who fills himself with acrimony, the same way humans must with air. He delights in it and considers it his birthright. 

Your smile is not without kindness and that’s what bothers him most. 

“Come, don’t pout. I have no intentions of being complicit in whatever havoc you'd wreak if I was with another.” 

His eye twitches at the pesky word ‘another’. The mere thought of this faceless, nonexistent being having the audacity to lay claim to you, even in the land of fantasy, has his nostrils flaring and jaw tightening. You can see the ripple of muscles beneath his synthetic skin. He’s a wonder, this proprietorial doll, who can exalt and condemn you in the same breath. 

You are mine, and mine allow, his eyes seem to scream, and I’d sooner end the world than exist in it without having you for myself. 

“You really do scowl too much,” you reiterate your opinion from earlier, gently, almost sweetly. Whatever spell Scaramouche was under temporarily breaks, or perhaps he’s held prisoner to a new one, far more agreeable if not equally dangerous. “Your face is too pretty to always be frowning.” 

You enchant him by running your finger over his lower lip. It trembles by your command. His eyes go lidded, a lovelorn haze obscuring the former tempest. He can never decide if he wants to destroy or devour you. For someone like him, he can’t do one without the other. His love for you is a death sentence, despite the immortality that should’ve never belonged to your mortal body. 

It’s you who kisses him. 

He temporarily forgets himself. The arrogance, the hurt, the fear that you might slip between his fingers should he ever relax his hold. You find him foolish in that regard. He can have you in the palm of his hand if he likes, and you know he’d like that very much. There’s nowhere else for you to be. Not when he’s seen to the fact himself. 

Scaramouche melts into your person, returning your kiss with rapture, drunk on the way you offer yourself to him. He makes a deep, breathy noise, willing you closer, demanding total subservience. You let him have his way. Civilizations could rise and fall in the seconds that follow, and he’d pay them no mind, too absorbed with savoring your temporary connection. 

It is what he lives for; what he'd kill for.

His fair skin is flushed when you part. From the apple of his cheeks to the tip of his ears, he’s painted in a color from your palette. The pigmentation suits him. Red is the color around his eyes, of his longing for you, and of what would spill across the land should you ever part. 

“There,” you whisper, as if it were a secret meant for him alone, “That look suits you far better.” 

He wants to deny it — you can tell by how his grip tightens — but he remains uncharacteristically quiet. If he gets to delight in you, it’s only fair that you can occasionally delight in him, he supposes. 

Such is your capricious nature. 

#scaramouche #yandere scaramouche #“I wanna chew on him” THATS IT THATS THE VIBE #genshin impact #he's a terrible terrible man I adore him!! the babygirl #reblogged #gonna take 3-5 business days to recover from this

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

THE NEW FIC IS 3.3K WORDS AND I DONT THINK IM EVEN LIKE. HALFWAY FINISHED YET IM SCREAMING

#THE THINGS I DO FOR MY BABYGIRL....

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

Due to the acquisition of Tumblr by Amazon, any mentions of the words "union" "pay raise" or "diversity" will result in instant blog deletion

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

sometimes responding to media you like is articulate and sometimes it is microwave noises and static fizz

#me about wanderer

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

The competition is heating up. Oh? And here's Kaveh, bringing up the rear...

Version 3.6 "A Parade of Providence" Trailer

#EVERYONE COME LOOK AT HIM MY BOY #HIM!!!!!! #WANDERER'S SO CUTEEE I ADORE HIM SM #HES GETTING SUPER INTO A GAME ITS SO ADORABLE I WANT TO SQUEEZE HIM #scaramouche #genshin impact #HONORABLE MENTJON TO KAVEH FOR GETTING YEETED BY FARUZAN #i am absolutely Vibrating over here i love wanderer #words are not a suitable medium through which to express my thoughts on him

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

I feel a little terrible about disappearing so have this. here's their dynamic throughout most of the fic. this will never cease being funny to me

#I HAVE ONE ASK ABOUT RESEARCHER READER BTW SORRY FOR NOT ANSWERING IT #I ALREADY STARTED PLOTTING THE FIC BY THE TIME I READ IT WJJDHSKSHE #but!!! your thoughts have been taken into consideration!!! and i plan on working on that once i finish this. or i'll change my mind later. #i know as well as you do tbh #naga scara #wait it's only been 4 days since i posted the og thought?? felt like a week at least #btw yeah i just used disappearing as an excuse to show yall this. im vibrating about it so hard #but i dont want to say anything until its posted #passing away

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

skullcrusher mountain by jonathan coulton radiates yandere dottore vibes

#sorry for the wait. the fic is taking a while but I'm getting there #school and poor time management is beating my ass

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

I'm so sorry to the three people with naga scara asks in my inbox. I've fallen prey to my sense of whimsy and am instead writing a naga scara AU where reader is an Amurta researcher dedicated to proving the existence of nagas to the Akademiya instead

#it's. such a funny dynamic so far. #i'm still working on it but you have to trust me. no fighting or anything just a very confused scaramouche #slower burn than the first naga fic #and eventual yandere instead of like. immediate kidnapping #probably multiple parts if i can hyperfixate on the concept long enough #first part will probably have no yan in it. but it will be very funny to me

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

Not a request or anything

I'm the anon that sent the "what would scara do if someone came looking for reader" and I just want to say

I love love LOVE when writers start talking about the thinking processes of their AUs or how they came to be

Especially as a fellow neurodivergent myself

Like yes babes tell me your every thought 😍😘

CRYING TEARS OF JOY.... thank you for enabling me 😭😭

i!!! love!!! infodumping!!! its the need to have everyone know exactly what i was thinking throughout the whole thing aksnjddvskbdkdhjjqhxvz I might just make you regret it someday but it's too late to stop me now

#ALSO I HABE A NEW POST IM WORKING ON POKE ME WITH A STICK UNTIL I FINISH IT #it's probably gonna be about the length of Sleep #maybe a bit shorter #anyway #YOU AND ME!!!! #feeling a sense of camaraderie

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

I don’t think I’ve given a comprehensive description of him yet, and this has been sitting in a word document for a little bit, so I’m just gonna go ahead and let this out of the vault.

His hair is about the same hairstyle (and same color ofc), but messier and cut in a more choppy, uneven manner (because he has to do it himself). His eyes are the same, except he has slit pupils. His tail is a pale tan, the color of the sand. A pattern of slightly darker brown symmetrical splotches run down its length. The scales are keeled.

He has a pair of horns (which are actually are not horns at all! They’re more akin to modified scales) that stick out from his forehead, at about his hairline. They’re angled so they point almost directly upwards, so he’s not accidentally stabbing you with them or anything. (That would be hilarious, though.) They’re a bit like oni horns, except oni horns are usually more perfectly cylindrical AND have a slight curve, whereas his are… a little more complicated, and lack any curve at all. Here’s a picture of a desert horned viper (the snake he’s based on) for reference. He also has a forked tongue.

Oh! I almost forgot. Obviously, he has fangs. I considered giving him those hook-shaped fangs that actual venomous snakes have, but I figured it would be a dental nightmare considering all of the human teeth he’s got in there. Even if the fangs fold back (as actual viper fangs do, and his would have to as well in order for it to work at all) it would look (and be) kinda fucked up, anatomically speaking. So, his fangs are more like those of a standard vampire, but pretty thin, more like needles and less like a sabertooth tiger.

He has claws too! The nails are naturally dark, almost black. As you might recall from Hidden in the Sands, he tore out Sanad’s throat with those. Very sharp.

He’s much bigger than in canon because I said so. As I stated in a previous ask, his tail is about 15 feet long and as a whole, he’s about 17-18 feet long. Since he has to survive on his own out in the unforgiving desert, he’s also pretty muscular. Surviving in an environment as harsh as the desert comes with other consequences. He has a number of scars, mostly around his upper body (where he isn’t protected by his scales). He’s got one or two on his lower body, but his scales are hard enough that they were just relatively small, shallow wounds.

This isn't so much appearance as a little fun fact. A friend of mine (the same one I did the rp with that started the naga scara au) brought up piercings, and eventually we got to talking about snake bite piercings and Kunikuzushi. He might have had a set of snake bite piercings long ago. Now that he’s not a functioning member of any society, he’s lost them and the holes have sealed up so as to be unnoticeable. Just a thought.

#naga scara

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

YOUR WRITING>>>>>

I don't know how you came up with Naga Scaramouche but I've been brain rotting for days now 😩

Do you have any ideas how'd he'd react if someone goes out of their way to look for reader after they disappeared?

Especially if they mightve been a love interest at some point or the person clearly has feelings for them 👀

(referring to this)

A friend of mine actually came up with the idea for naga scara!! Together, we fleshed out the plot. It wasn't originally a fic, though, it was just a rp that got me brainrotting afterwards. I couldn't stop thinking about the whole concept until I finished writing Hidden in the Sands. The fic literally wouldn't leave me alone unless I was working on it LMAO

I'm going to take this as an excuse to talk a bit about the behind the scenes here (you have NO idea how much I've wanted to infodump about this fic)–originally, the reader was actually my friend's interpretation of Lumine and Sanad was originally my Alhaitham. I also played the part of Kuni himself. It was a bit awkward, actually, because Alhaitham and Kuni had to talk to each other a little bit and it felt like I was talking to myself.

I've changed the personalities of the reader and Sanad greatly, as you might have already guessed, since Sanad behaves nothing like Alhaitham; Sanad's more like one of those "prime examples" that Alhaitham talks about when he says, "Book learning alone is not enough to cultivate intelligence." Sanad is, intentionally, a very flawed but still reasonably likeable character. I want to talk about him too. Oh boy, looking back on this I sure did talk a lot about an OC I don't think anyone genuinely cares about.

I wanted to make him come off as normal, like an actual human person. He really is just a regular dude, he's just been kinda brainwashed by the Akademiya, as shown by the lines, "The Akademiya has declared them to be just baseless nonsense, so of course I don't think they actually exist." and "Desert dwellers tend to be... fearless." He's absorbed many commonly held beliefs (and biases) in the Akademiya, a textbook example of someone who's been taught what to think rather than how to think. I wanted him to be realistic. However, he's still funny, charming, and overall good-willed, even if he's spineless and very easily led.

I've greatly changed the fic from the original rp, and only the base premise (yandere!naga!scara and the whole "commissioned to find the culprit for some strange murders in the Hadramaveth") remains the same. It went through several versions at first. In fact, before I came up with Sanad, I was going to have Cyno replace Alhaitham! But ultimately, I realized Cyno was actually competent and I might have had to write a proper fight scene, which I did not want to do. You can still see a remnant of the first draft I chose to leave in (from when Cyno was the disposable companion) in the bad joke Sanad tells at the beginning of the story.

Using Sanad also had other benefits that I feel helped pull the fic together!! His cowardly nature gave reader a chance to endear themselves to Kunikuzushi, for refusing to abandon Sanad even after he (frankly, understandably) ran away. Even this early on, I had decided that whatever backstory naga Kuni might have had, it absolutely had to revolve around betrayal since canon Kuni's backstory is so deeply tied to it.

It's a really minor pet peeve of mine, and it doesn't bother me too much, but I usually don't really like it when the yandere starts to fixate on the object of their obsession for no reason than, like, "love at first sight" or "they simply caught my eye for some vague reason I cannot put into words." It's not bad, per se, and it's not even a solid rule of mine! I can think of several fics I love that don't give a solid reason, though the characters in those have such a dynamic that you still understand why one became so interested in the other to begin with... (I'm making this more complicated than it is, I think, but I'm beginning to think it's just I just don't care for it when the MC has the depth of a piece of paper.) Anyway, I'm getting derailed again, but I chose to give Kuni a reason to empathize with the reader in the form of Sanad and his "betrayal" because of this preference of mine.

However, and I think I've touched on this a bit in a previous post, this wasn't the only reason Kuni decided to spare them. In fact, even after he decided to leave you for last, he still thought he was going to come back to kill you. What really interested him was your insistence on saving Sanad even after what Kuni perceived as a betrayal. Why would you try to help someone who didn't even make an attempt to help you? It doesn't make sense. You're too soft, it's endearing.

Whether or not Sanad's actions are justified is debatable, though I personally understand them. He's never fought in his whole life. If you, the experienced monster-fighting adventurer couldn't do it, how could he? He doesn't even have a sword. It's certainly cowardly and rude to say the least, but given the circumstances, I think it's the choice most people would make in that situation. Of course, it's absolutely something Kunikuzushi could have (and did) twist into something completely different. I think I made it pretty obvious, but contrary to what Kuni said, Sanad had no such malicious thoughts when he left you there. Kuni is extremely jaded; his perception of the world has been mostly shaped by the betrayals he's experienced, and he's no different in this AU. As I said before, Sanad's not a terrible person, just terribly average. If he had survived, he absolutely would have had survivors' guilt.

Anyway!!! I'm not sorry about the infodump, thank you for giving me the slightest reason to tell you all about it. Here's what you actually asked for.

Kuni views most people as inconsequential, little more than helpless ants. He doesn't care about them in the slightest. If anything, they irritate him. So when someone shows up–an old friend, a crush, anyone–his first thought is to get rid of them if they venture too far in, and especially if they see him. Even if he doesn't know that they know you. If he lets them go, more will come. If he finds out they're looking for you, specifically... well, it doesn't really change his plans. He's going to kill them no matter what.

It does motivate him though, to be a bit crueler, to make it last a bit longer. What they are to you doesn't change the outcome, but it might sour his mood a bit more if they were anything more than friends or family. It's not likely that he'll leave them be long enough to find this out, though. Logically speaking, they're probably not going to tell a monster like him all about the friend/family/crush they're looking for in this desert, especially not when he's clearly unfriendly.

It's not totally impossible, though. This hypothetical person would have heard all about the strange attacks (as mentioned in the fic), so seeing a large half-snake person could make them realize that Kuni was most likely the cause for your disappearance (even though they'd assume it was murder and not kidnapping). Even so, I doubt they'd have a little chat over tea about who all Kuni has murdered recently.

Anyway, I digress. Assuming he figures it out somehow, whether or not he tells you about them depends on his mood and your behavior. Unfortunately for you, dealing with people irritates him. Especially when they're specifically looking to take what's his from him.

He'll come back covered in blood either way, but if he's in a bad mood, or you haven't been on your best behavior, he'll tell you all about what they looked like. He makes sure to mention that they were looking for you, and describe in detail everything he did to them.

"I'm going to leave his corpse out to rot in the sun," he hissed into your ear, pulling away to look you in the eye, "for the vultures and serpents to feast on. It serves him right. He was on a fool's errand; it's impossible to retrieve what's lost to the sands."

#naga scara #yandere scaramouche #genshin impact #the first part of Kuni's dialogue at the end of the post is actually ripped right from the rp #alhaitham met the same fate as sanad #thank u for letting me infodump about it. it's the neurodivergency #I like sanad a lot despite his many flaws #oh my word i came back tk this and 2/3 of this post isnt even what you were asking for #id say im sorry but genuinely i am not #i really did see ''idk how you came up with naga scara'' and just went ham huh #tumblr messed up my tags LMAO sorry if they didnt make sense before

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

are there any illumi simps in our midst

#haha noooo i totally didnt plan out a whole probably-two-part illumi fic bc i rewatched the hunter election arc noooo haha #i'm sorry everyone i'm a slave to my own whims

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

Hello, good morning/afternoon! Hope you're having a good day :>!

Answering your answer (hehe), I have seen the same, occasionally with PRSK (or Enstars), joining the overlap too! As for the fandom thing, I'm multifandom, but Sonic, Danganronpa, and Bungou Stray Dogs are some of the ones I'm in!

And regarding Seraph, I'm going to watch it all in one sitting, and try to read the manga after. One of the other reasons I became interested in it (apart from the vampire reason) was because of the pretty men, so I'll be on the lookout for Mr. Ferid.

Also, being a war criminal won't be an impediment for me to liking him, after all, I like Scara and he isn't my first fav war criminal either so...

If you don't mind, can I be 🧉anon?

I've been doing great, thanks for asking!!

Oooo danganronpa and BSD!!! I've watched the first 3 seasons of BSD and I plan to eventually watch the 4th sometime. I think out of everyone in the show, Chuuya's my fave!! I also like the obvious one, Dazai, and I have a little thing for Akutagawa and Mori. I also watched at least part of the first season of danganronpa (I watched enough to develop a little crush on Togami 2-3 years ago lol) and I kinda wanna continue it!!! Kokichi and Nagito both seem like very specific brands of Absolutely Unhinged that I'm really into.

ALSO YOU AND ME....

Pretty men my beloved... I'm a little embarrassed to say it but most of the shows I choose to watch are for the pretty men ASDJDBKXGTPQJKLFVXZ you and I are the same in that regard

I absolutely recommend it!! I think it's a fun little series. I haven't gotten around to the manga yet but I've heard it's a wild ride. Tell me what you think!! Though, I'm not sure you could watch the whole show in one sitting. There's two seasons. More power to you, though, if you can??? Don't forget to drink water!!!

And I'm glad. The war crimes are what make them interesting.

Also!! Absolutely you can be 🧉 anon!!

#🧉 anon

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

A FRIEND OF MINE DREW NAGA SCARA!!! TAKE A LOOK AT THE BABYGIRL IN THE FLESH

@_jen24v on insta!!

#he <3 #naga scara