#unfortunately not bad enough to stop eating them tho

[dew-droppies]

i love peeps but looking into their little eyes honestly makes me feel bad about eating them :c

#unfortunately not bad enough to stop eating them tho

[amatres]

hm. giving more thought to layla in relation to killing others bc the answer i gave off the cuff didn't seem exactly right. and it's very. grey, i suppose?

in general she doesn't go out of her way to kill people, sticking often to giving people second chances, even if the person doesn't seem repentant. but she also isn't going to spill tears for every person she kills (sorry ember, she's not as devoted to the idea as you, though she admires your dedication to it).

however there are times even she feels it's just not possible. with some she feels no remorse, such as with hulrun who she found vile in his zealotry, but in other cases it is. not smthing she takes any pleasure in doing, and is unable to let go of her sympathy for the person as she does it (wenduag....) to the point it haunts her long after it happened.

i suppose it's interesting in the two instances i can think off as the biggest examples of that scenario, with staunton and wenduag, she still tried to afford them some dignity or peace of mind in the end, like with allowing staunton to have a proper burial or with telling wenduag she was afraid of her potential in wenduag's last moments

camellia's death was an outlier, and is more an example in the position on having to keep making the calls on who lived or died affecting her negatively to the point she goes against what she would normally do in that situation, and then it haunts her because what if's will plague her afterwards.

does any of this make sense. no. i am tired and hungry

#ama mumbles #layla (oc) #lesson from this post: she is not a solider and she is being pressure cooked the longer in a position of authority she is #shes just a silly dhampir aha why are you making her a knight commander #also an interesting point to remember is she is a dirge bard! i know i make jokes about making skeletons dance and all that lol #but she has a genuine respect for the dead and the legacies they leave behind. she wont stop for every single dead but you know #she is not rlly leader but she also has very high charisma so ppl like to listen to her. unfortunately galfrey noticed this F #why do these deaths haunt you. bc i was incapable of saving them but perhaps they Could have been had smthing changed for them first #:for staunton and wenduag #versus bc i let my emotions get rid of someone i had come to trust over a span of a couple months in a single moment #i didnt even do it myself. for camellia #she Was going to let camellia live btw. but her emotions from wenduag were still running high alas #tho im sure she would have had to kill camellia later on anyway. and she would have felt bad about it then too tho probably. less so. lol #on discord i said she only kills in self defense which. is and isnt right necessarily. anyway i cant keep going on i need to eat #also another thin to take into account is she takes in the victims views into account! #playing through meeting hulrun before he is set on killing ppl on sight is i got to see his and embers convo #and it is so bad. but layla didnt kill him there bc ember said not to and her view on the situation takes precedent to her own disguist #anyway in her actual canon layla kills that man bc hes about to kill ramien she does not. get there early enough to have a calmish convo

[nkogneatho]

𝐈𝐃𝐊 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐑𝐘.

—a/n: just a toji thought i can't get off my head. this ain't a fic or anything but i need to tell you this. but tell me if i should write a fic on it tho. major character death, gn!reader, angst, jjk major spoilers.

toji broke up with you on the day he went to fight gojo. despite showing nothing but utter confidence, there was a tiny ration of his heart aware that he might not come home to you tonight. he might not get to eat the meal you prepared. he might not get to wrap his arms around you. the thought of you being alone, waiting for him with a smile on your face...he couldn't bear it. so he did what he always does. masks himself as the villian.

before leaving for the fight, he'd tell you how he's lost feelings for you, escalating the ground beneath your world. what did he mean? all of a sudden? what happened? your brain immediately started replaying memories, desperately hoping to find a reason where did it go wrong. You started crying, begging for him to give you a reason, or did you do something wrong but his face showed not a single shred of remorse. It felt someone stabbed your heart with an object big enough to hurt it, but not strong enough to pierce it, to leave you with an agonizing pain.

so when you leave your shared apartment—don't think you'll ever say that word again—after packing your things, hating his guts with all you've got, he sighs in satisfaction. When you're at the door, gracing him with one last glance of yours, your brows furrowed, all you could witness was him smiling. you hated him even more. Here you were, hurting, and all he did was smile? did he find someone else? but you didn't have the privilege to keep wanting him anymore so you left.

When you were crashing at a friend's place, Shiu gave you call. You tried to ignore it but 10 missed calls back to back means something.

"Toji's dead. The head of the Gojo Clan killed him." Your world shifted once again. This time, swifter than the breakup. You asked a hundred questions, denying, desperately trying to find a loophole out of this pain but Shiu answered them all as if it was the truth. And to your unfortune, it was. You've never cried harder.

But, when you happen to witness him at Shibuya, you convinced yourself that either you were hallucinating or he was doppelganger. When he locked eyes with you, his lips widened in a smile. Tears formed in your eyes. You immediately jumped in his arms.

"missed me that much, huh? i guess you don't hate me anymore" he said, arms wrapped around you.

"shut up and kiss me." when his lips crashed against yours, it felt like heaven. you've been deprived of this for years and now you finally had it. you knew why he broke up with you. toji tried to convince you to leave since he wasn't real. just an incarnation going to leave again for good, but years later your denial stage wasn't over as you tried to make him stop talking with your kisses.

"baby," he whispered. "I have to leave. It's time you go."

"No." Your voice firm but crumbled in seconds when you realized he won't listen to you anyways. "I don't care if you're not real. I need you. You can't just walk away again. You still have to make up for breaking up with me."

"Sweetheart, please." He sighed, trying to keep his composure but tears rolled down his eyes, a sight the world never witnessed but you.

"Toji. . .I know you wanted to protect my feelings so you made up all that breakup thing. . . but baby it still hurt. Nothing in this world can make me stop loving you. I hated you for it but I hated you because I love you so. damn. much"

"I am sorry. I love you and I am sorry I was so bad to you. I never deserved you. I never deserved your light, but thank you for gracing me with it." His hands started pushing you away.

"No. Stay. Toji!"

"I will always be by your side." In a quick second, he grabbled the broken part of the sword and stabbed his head.

"No. . . no. To—Toji? NO, BABY. TOJI!" you sobbed, crying as loud as ever as you held the corpse of a stranger morphed back to it's orginal body.

"Always be by my side? You left me, you motherfucker," you cried.

Ironic how there was a dead body lying on your lap, but you were the one experiencing death. Knowing everything he did in his life after he met you was to keep you safe from others, yet he was the one causing your heart the most pain right now. But how do you hate a criminal who also happens to be your saviour?

#toji x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji angst #jjk x reader #jjk angst #jjk drabbles #jujutsu kaisen x reader #toji x you #toji x y/n #toji fushiguro #jjk x you #jjk x gn!reader #toji x gn!reader #jjk toji #fushiguro toji x reader #fushiguro toji #jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers

[o-moon-o]

I am not much of a writer- but had this funny idea in mind and I want to share it

What if Buggy had a daughter with his s/o and she is sassy as hell, can shut anyone up and is a mean girl (for those who upset her or piss her off, overall she is a sweetheart and not a brat), even tho she is like six years old

(let's say that his daughter's name is Ivy)

And what if Cabaji had a big fat crush on y/n, Buggy and Ivy knows about it but y/n don't

Ivy takes that to her advantage to piss off buggy and emberisse Cabaji

Like this one time when thay having dinner on the ship and Cabaji was staring at y/n daydreaming, Buggy take notice of that and yell at Cabaji "STOP STARING AT MY WIFE LIKE THAT!!", Cabaji, who almost jumped out of his chair, looked down at his food with a red face and mumbled "sorry captain"

Y/n, who felt bad for Cabaji and thought that buggy is being a little bit overly protective or dramatic, looked at buggy and said "buggy, don't you think are being abit harsh on him, especially the last few months?", Buggy looked at her and his gaze soften

"oh sweetheart, don't worry about him" and that when Ivy decided that it is time for her to strike

"oh yeah, Mom, don't worry about him but unfortunately I can't say the same to dad, since you probably should worry about him because the day when you fuck up and mum divorce you, she would move on to her 'plan B'" and she pointed at Cabaji when she said 'plan B'

The silence was very loud....

The entire crew, even buggy and y/n was speechless at what Ivy just said, who was smiling proudly at herself, y/n was the first to break the silence, asking her daughter softly "sweetheart...Are you not happy with your dad?" Ivy smile drop to a unreadable expression and stayed quiet for a second, she than side eyed buggy with a dark expression and said coldly " he knows what he have done....."

"LOOK IT WAS AN A ACCIDENT, I SWEAR!!!" buggy snapped at her and she snapped back at him "HOW DID YOU POSSIBLY THROW MY FAVORITE DOLL IN THE SEA BY AN A "ACCIDENT"??? HAA??"

"IT WAS CREEPY, OKAY?"

"YOUR CREEPY!"

"WE LITTERLY LOOK LIKE EACH OTHER!!"

"NO WE DON'T, I ONLY HAVE YOU EYES AND HAIR COLOR, THAT IT!!! I AM BEAUTIFUL JUST LIKE MY MOM"

Ivy than turn to her mum and pointed at her dad "WHERE DID YOU FOUND THIS MAN??!!?"

"Ivy, that's your dad, don't say that"

However the two blue haired kept arguing like and that's when y/n had enough, y/n yelled "QUIIITTTEEE!!" shutting off the both of them

Y/n signed and tried to make it up between the two of them "well how about this, Ivy, you apologize to your dad for what you have said and I will buy you a new Dollie, you like my taste in Dollies, don't you?" Ivy though about it for a second and then turn to her dad "I am sorry for saying that you are not good enough for my mum and calling you ugly, dad"

Buggy wasn't satisfied, but he didn't want to upset y/n (and also didn't want his daughter to continue on stiping on his ego) so he forgive her and since they both in wrong, he apologized too for throwing her favorite Doll in the sea and thankfully everyone went back to eating

Bounces:

Cabaji leaned to Ivy's side and whisper to her "psst...Do you really think I can get with your mum?" with a bit of hope, Ivy whispered back to him "of course not, not with this ugly ass-emo haircut of yours, like seriously how old are you? 12?"

#buggy #buggy one piece #buggy the clown #buggy the genius jester #captain buggy #one piece buggy #op buggy #opla buggy #buggy headcanons #buggy x y/n #buggy x you #buggy x reader #one piece imagine #one piece #one peice x reader

[mangywayway]

Movie night in my Harringrove pkmn AU

Every time Steve and Billy decide to try and have a movie night together, you can be sure of 4 things:

1: Ampharos will fall asleep in a couple of minutes, doesn't matter what movie they put on, and she will snore, LOUDLY (yet Steve would feel to bad to put her inside her pokeball, so snoring is the standard background);

2: Doesn't matter how many times it has happened before, Billy will keep trying (and failing) to stop Floatzel from eating popcorn and Floatzel will end up eating too much and feel sick the next day (no regrets tho);

3: Typhlosion will always look half-asleep, at least until her trainer and Floatzel stop fighting, then she will be all awake and ready for the movie (Billy tried to call her out multiple times on her behaviour, she'll just look at him and smirk, the lil shit).

4: Servine tends to be the quiet one, but he will start throwing popcorn at everybody (but especially Floatzel), if they aren't quiet enough.

Gengar and Audino are the only one who tend to don't make any mess, but that doesn't stop them from having fun (or avoid giving a hand to their respective trainers).

.

Putting out some small headcanons about my pokemon au, and also trying to fight some art block sigh. Please ignore any grammar mistakes etc, because my brain hate English unfortunately. Also ngl, but drawing them like this give me a lot of serotonin, so I'm really happy to have done it, even if I don't like the end result ✨

#art #harringrove #billy x steve #steve harrington #billy hargrove #pokemon au #pkmn #mangywayway

[racharii]

coming from an enby whos tme (tho i myself am not transmasc), i feel like a lot of transmasc people are doing this "have their cake and eat it too" thing where they want to be perceived as men or men adjacent, in our society a part of the oppressor class, while also still wanting to benefit from structures meant to protect against said class. specifically ones that have been set up in queer spaces. ive met quite a few trans men who were just as vehemently misogynysitic as your average dude bro. and (this is speculation based on convos ive had with trans men im not in every transmascs head) a lot of transmascs have a lot of internalized misogyny that they project onto trans women. ive had an irl ex friend of mine say something that i think encapsulates this particular issue fairly well. this was like 8 years ago, we were talking about trans rep in media (specifically orange is the new black iirc) so im paraphrasing; 'its messed up that we (afabs in this context) are sidelined for people who used to be men, we cant escape the patriarchy.' that was horribly transmisogynistic, so lets unpack it.

it assumes that trans women are just men

it assumes sex essentialism, that they and i were just women. that we were just poor Females having 'our space' encroached on by mean 'former men.'

im not saying that all transmascs think like this ofc. #notallmen. im saying that some do, and enough transmascs have internalized misogyny and not enough self reflection.

just because you are trans doesnt mean you are immune to bigotry and recouping oppressive structures. none of us are free of Sin™️. you as an individual have to make an effort to reflect on your thoughts and actions and how they might affect yourself and others, so that you are not a willing participant of our communities oppression.

for example, ive talked a lot privately about my journey to being a better person, (and pobodies nerfect, its always a learning process, you always will have things you can improve on. and thats okay, were all just human) i initially hated it/its pronouns. 'it' gave me the ick. i was called 'it' as a kid incessantly to make fun of my gender presentation, i couldnt fathom someone else finding peace and even euphoria in using it/its. i bought into the conservative talking points about neopronouns and it/its being detrimental to the trans community. they were "the bad transes" and me? well i use they/them but shakespeare used the singular they so im fine :), im one of the good ones. then one day, i was listening to some video essay idr what or who, but something they said stuck with me, "if it/its makes me happy, why do you care? how does 'it' hurt you really?" my trauma is not everyones trauma, people will find comfort in things that i wont, and thats okay. 'it' hurt me when i was young, by cruel kids and uncaring adults. why am i hurting my community, my fellow transes, by continuing to deny them their autonomy to identify how they like? so i got over 'it.' i saw the real harm was the fucking wedge being driven between us by conservative grifters trying to pick off the weakest in the herd before they go in for the rest of us.

visibility isnt necessarily a good thing for marginalized people. transfemmes are the biggest target of hate in our community atm. they unfortunately serve as the canary. global fascism is on the rise and to be frank, a targeted hate campaign against a trans woman is asking for her to be killed. outed, paraded as a freak, doxxed, swatted, killed. protect trans women, fascism doesnt stop with one group nor will you be saved by being "one of the good ones." trans solidarity, even the people you dont like, even if you think theyre icky or gross or whatever the fuck else you do Not give up trans solidarity. you dont make callout posts, you dont send death threats, you dont send hate mail, if you dont like someone Block Them and move on.

we stand together or we will be eradicated.

#sorry this turned into a rant about impending fascism #but its all connected #rach rants #real cut a liberal a fascist bleeds vibes here recently #also im not proof reading this so sorry for typos #trans

[cursedcola]

Ok but will you do headcanons for the lovely protag of tears of themis, because if so I would love some cute Hcs of her having a cheerful and loving female s/o who runs a bakery and packs her cute little lunches everyday so she can have the energy she needs to work hard (•̀ᴗ•́)و

and sometimes Rosa (which is the code name we get in the game for our protagonist) gets special sticky pad notes in her lunchbox cheering her on when she’s had a bad day, and I just want some fluffy domestic hcssss

*cradles gently* I just love lesbian girlfriend hcs so much ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

A/N: Omg I'm gonna throw up I love this. It's too cute for my heart...ngl I simp for Rosa more than I do any of the boys. Can we romance ourselves? lol I'd pay Mihoyo to make it happen. TBH I ship Rosa x Kiki a bit since they just seem so much more on the same page with each other than our lovely gentlemen ( love Marius still tho frfr)

Our queen of justice would cherish her girlfriend so much let me tell you

Rosa has a habit of going above and beyond for the people she cares about. She’s normally the giver, and being on the other side of the coin is a whole new life

I can see it now. Every morning on her way to the Themis Law Firm she stops by her girlfriend's bakery. Rosa gets up extra early and brings her a cup of coffee/tea/etc. before the bakery opens.

She just loves to hear the jingle of the doorbell and see you arranging the display case behind the counter. Sometimes she'll pick up an apron and join you if she has extra time. Bonus points if your shop has a theme (like say you have a book café/bakery! And you dress to match the theme. You have a little knee length dress, mary-janes, and a bookish themed apron as the uniform. Maybe one of those cute little neck scarf/choker that you tie into a bow. Rosa would eat that up omg)

The first time she brought you a morning drink Rosa felt like an idiot because - well, duhh. You run a bakery! You sell this stuff! yet it became a bit of a trading deal. Rosa brings you your morning fix before the shop opens, and in exchange you pack her a few goodies.

It's such a ritual that Rosa now has a little thermos collection for you, and you have a lunch pail collection for her. It also gives you both a chance to see each other after work. On her way home (either after a shift or on her way to NYXX) she swings by your shop to drop off the pail and pick up her thermos. A quick goodbye smooch and she is on her way.

Lmao no. If she isn't going to NYXX then normally she stays back to help close the shop. If not then she begrudging leaves. Unfortunately you are not allowed to know about NYXX. It's too dangerous. You're aware that she works alongside Marius, Vyn, Luke, and Artem on the side - but are under the impression that it is for a special government case through Themis. They know about you as well. We love our ally kings. Sometimes you send Rosa off with enough goodies for all five of them when she swings by and can't stay.

Now. You know they all have/had a crush on her at some point. Especially Luke. The boy is a living golden retriever. Not to mention Artem who is just awful at masking. Thankfully your Rose is oblivious as hell, not that you're worried.

All it takes is the scent of one of your new recipes to have Rosa swooning in the palm of your hand. Before you started dating, you both were friends. You saw how she was always on a diet and depriving herself. Those little comments about her appearance making you the loving type of mad. Y'know, the type to passive aggressively eye her and be like "honey you are so beautiful that I have four men trying to steal my gf right now. Do not test me,". Which, of course, you'd only say the first part because that confrontation is not one needed considering the ally kings know their place.

Point being that we don't support that unhealthy diet culture. Big nono. She is going to eat good and she is going to like it.

Anywho. Back on topic. You know they like her and one way you casually tease is with loving treats. Yes, my dear Rose, please take this basket full of freshly baked bread to your meeting. The one with the ribbon on top. Why is it taped down? Oh, no worries my love. Just let one of the boys open it, okay? I have yours specially wrapped in a separate bag.

Meanwhile whichever poor soul opens that bag is going to get hit in the face with one of the sappiest and most suggestive love notes in all of Stellis.

"My lovely flower. Have a great day and be careful on the way home from your meeting! I have missed you so much and cannot wait to have you all to myself tonight. Enjoy the sweets with your friends" *insert a plethora of heart drawings*

Rosa will see them holding the note and simply think that you put it in the wrong bag. It's not abnormal for you to put those heartwarming notes in her lunches, so she apologizes. Vyn knows. They all know.

Dominance asserted, and your cute girlfriend is pleased by your loving note (and a bit embarrassed but it had to be done. Rosa deserves the abundance of affection. Her confidence needs to be boosted and she needs to recognize what a queen she is)

Did I mention that your shop is one of Rosa's favorite places? It's cozy, inviting, and she loves to study for her exams there. Sometimes if she's working on a case she'll claim a table for hours on end. Occasionally she sneaks glances of you working with customers and watches as a break. She'll blush if she gets caught, but it is so worth it.

Sometimes she takes her work breaks there as well. Occasionally you'll see her pop in with Artem, Celeste, Kiki, or perhaps another one of her acquaintances from work like that one Police Capitan. Darius, was it? That one always needs a triple shot of espresso. usually when you see him it means something serious is going down. It warms your heart when she boasts about your shop to them. She'll pick a table and like clockwork you'll come over to have a little chat before they get to work. It's so nice to feel included and to see her in the zone.

Whenever she is on a business trip she'll look for a little something to bring home for your shop too. Typically a decoration piece. Thanks to Rosa you have a little statue-esque tip jar from her trip to the desert, fairy lights above the main counter from a whimsical mountain, flower pots from an island trip, and more. You never question her many excursions because she always brings you home a surprise.

On one final note, your shop is her safe space. Sometimes she comes to your frustrated or nervous. It could be about exams, a particularly bad case...and sometimes she can't tell you. "Government case," she says and you know something really stressful happened. Those ones are the most worrisome. It's hard, being there when she disappears on a case that she can't tell you about. One of the gents are always there with her, but when she comes home in a near-shocked state you can't help but get anxious.

Yet Rosa knows you won't press it. She strolls in, most commonly near closing time, and you just know. You have a sixth sense for it, and without asking flip the shop sign to say 'closed' before preparing her a warm drink. Then you sit with her and let her talk. You don't question when she leaves things out, and let her vent.

You and your shop become like a second home to Rosa. Peace in a city like Stellis that never seems to rest.

#tears of themis #tot #tears of themis x reader #tot x reader #tears of themis Rosa #tears of themis Rosa x reader

[actual-arrrchie]

What are some of ypurMichael/Jeremike headcanons? Could you share them with us?

Oooooh there's SO MANYYY These two are all I've been thinking about for over a year now and I don't plan to stop anytime soon lmao Putting a read more in there so you don't spend 10 years scrolling past this post

MICHAEL W. AFTON (voice claim: Kenai from Brother Bear)

His full name is Michael William Afton, he never mentions his second name to anyone for obvious reasons though

He was born in Utah

Autistic

Bisexual

Big sharp canines

He has vitiligo

He's a momma's boy

Pathetic wet cat boyloser

Clara and William divorced when the kids were very young. William got to keep them because he had better income and could provide "a better home" for them. He made it impossible for Clara to meet the kids again and told them that mom doesn't love them anymore. Michael didn't want to believe it but as the time passed, he eventually did

Clara was writing letters to the kids but William would burn them all before they could see them

Michael took the worst traits after William, unfortunately. He deals with sudden mood swings and serious anger issues

He was never taught a healthy way to cope with his emotions.

Michael sucks at explaining what he feels so he would often get frustrated and angry when people don't get why he's feeling a certain way

He's been dealing with night terrors every since his parents divorced

William always treated Evan and Elizabeth better than him so he feels jealous of them. Evan was too little to truly understand what's been happening around him but he did have a feeling that it's unfair, Elizabeth on the other hand was a daddy's girl and despite feeling like Williams wasn't giving her enough attention, she still always agreed with him and would stay on his side

Michael breaks stuff a lot. His room is always a mess because of this. He tore apart countless sketchbooks and notebooks, broke mirrors and even threw furniture around. After this kind of anger outbreaks, he always breaks down in tears and cries himself to sleep

Mike rarely looks in the mirror because of his many times people told him he looks just like his father. He never looks at family photos either

Michael and William have more in common than their appearance. Mike's small gestures and body language are exactly the same too. He hates it because people point it out all. the. time. There's nothing ha can do about it though

Even tho Michael hates his father, deep inside he still desperately craves his love and attention so he clings to any, even the slightest bits of kindness he gets from him. That makes it really easy for William to manipulate him and make him do whatever he wants him to do

Michael gets in fist fights a lot

He's not a stranger to violence in general but he's also really anxious and insecure. He always feels like he has to prove to everyone that he's nothing like William but most of the times it only shows how similar they are

Michael only cries when he's sure nobody can see it. William used to yell at him for crying when he was a child so he learned that he can never show any weakness

After the bite of 83, Michael experienced really bad panic attacks when he was exposed to animatronics or even his Foxy mask.

William would still force him to help in the pizzeria and make him work with the robots on purpose

Michael was forced to help at the diner/pizzerias since he was only 8 years old. Even when he was older, he never got officially hired there. William would just pull the "I pay for everything, you live off of my money so you owe me" card and make him work

He was anemic when he was about 13-14 years old, mostly because of how quickly he grew in that time and bad eating habits

Michael frowns a lot, not only when he's angry or irritated though. He tends to frown as a default expression which leads to a lot of misunderstandings

He's REALLY bad at taking care of plants

He loves cats and animals in general

JEREMY "REMY" FITZGERALD (voice claim: Seán McLoughlin aka Jacksepticeye)

Irish

Nonbinary [he/they]

Gay

Has two older brothers

Himbo

Big dumb silly idiot

Jeremy was born in Galway, Ireland and moved to California with his brothers and parents when he was 3 years old

They moved to Hurricane, Utah 16 years later and lived alone since

BIGGEST QUEEN FAN

Absolutely adores plants and has so many of them in their small apartment

Did construction work before getting a job at Freddy's

Has lots of religious trauma, all of it actually

Many piercings, most of them done by himself (idiot)

Has a big ivy tattoo

Was kicked out by his parents for being gay and struggled a lot to survive before starting a construction job. He even had to steal food a couple of times

Has ADHD

Has type 2 diabetes

Jeremy always dreamed about having a beautiful home with a big garden with lots of flowers and other plants in it but the best he got was a small old apartment filled with plants in pots.

They're very allergic to cats but that doesn't stop him from shoving his face into every kitty's belly

Jeremy was neglected as a child, his parents never planning a third child and not being too keen on having to raise another one. They put most of the responsibilities on their older sons which made them dislike their youngest sibling from the very beginning

Mary Anne and Patrick (the parents) never really tried to hide their indifference towards Jeremy, at east when they weren't in public. Because, naturally, they would hate for people to talk badly about them

Jeremy spent most of his childhood alone in their room, wandering the streets or spending time with Citlali, their best friend, and her parents. Remy adored them all and preferred hanging out with them over being with their own family

After moving to Utah he became very open about their identity. Moving away from his parents was difficult but also provided a whole new opportunity to finally be himself and make their own decisions

there is A WHOLE LOT more but this is all I've got in my head right now saiduhsada SHAMELESS PLUG TIME BUT YOU WILL LEARN A LOT MORE ABOUT MY JEREMIKE IN THE FIC I'M WRITING, IT'S CALLED "Insufficient" ON AO3

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #jeremy fitzgerald #insufficient au #fnaf au #michael afton #headcanons #my au

[mmmleckerlecker]

Idea:

A pred whos roommates with a prey.

The prey is just an introverted barista worker who has to put up with annoying preds who won't stop commenting on how delicious and fragile they look. The Pred on the other hand us regarded as literally the most dangerous pred in town. His ravenous appetite is not something to be messed with and he's also a cruel pred who'll often mock the prey who he's eaten in various ways, sometimes letting them almost escape before swallowing them back up to be digested.

No one knows how the prey is still alive with a roommate like this. The answer they give is always just being smart about it, arranging their shifts so they come home after he's eaten, not getting to close when he's really hungry, etc.

Now the Pred REALLY wants to eat the prey. They aren't scared of him, they value him as a friend in the loosest definition of the word, plus they look absolutely delicious and beautiful/hansome and he can clearly overpower them. One day, he waits until his darling roommate gets home to eat, so he can take them by suprise.

What no one has realized is that the 'prey' is also a pred, just one with a really hammerspace gut and a fast metabolism. The other pred learns this the hard way when he goes to get a bite and his tiny unassuming roommate just casually swallows him down instead, not even struggling in the slightest. Their roommate is big enough compared to them that you can clearly see there's someone in their stomach, so to keep their cover they take the next day off.

They aren't even actively cruel to him, they just don't acknowledge his struggles or pleas to be let out at all.

FUCK. Anon you had me in the first half!! A big bad pred who will eat you and be cruel about it, no cares. The the the… almost letting them escape only to swallow them casually back down. UGH!! YES!! And then the prey who is just… vibing. Maybe slightly annoyed at all the other preds commenting on how tasty they look. (But perhaps they don’t make any moves because they don’t wanna get on the Big Bad’s bad side by stealing his prey?) And then… oof. Arranging their shifts so they come home after the pred has eaten… imagine coming home from a long day of making lattes and your roommate is just chilling on the couch, watching tv, with a fully squirming belly…. You sit down with them, microwave dinner on your lap, and try to pay more attention to your food and the tv than your roommate idly kneading his fingers into his restless stomach. Hoo boy

Unfortunately I am not particularly into pred/prey role reversal or smaller preds/larger prey (tho the hammer space helps) so I do not have as much to say about the ending but ugh 👌 everything else

#im so sorry #I still don’t know how to respond to asks like this that are just… ideas #like do you want me to rate it?? or are you just looking for an anonymous way to share said idea?? #the world may never know… #that said… getting an extra tasty idea in my inbox is still very peak 👌 #asks

[zuuriell]

i felt like doing something so imma do this for the month! i’ll put all my answers below the cut because it’ll probably get quite long lol

1. Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (aka POTS)

2. well, it’s pretty complicated 😭 i’ve had some symptoms for probably like a year, but around late april/early may this year i couldn’t even shower or stand up too long from how bad it got. the uk healthcare system is absolute shit though, so even tho i’ve been a&e multiple times and tried to explain how much it’s all been affecting me, i still don’t get to see a cardiologist until february 2024 :( but we’ve ruled out other options of what it could be, and my mum’s cardiologist friend agreed when i said i thought i had POTS, and my GP agrees, and my potsie friends agree so i’m kinda like unofficially diagnosed as of now?

3. relating to the last point, i am not officially diagnosed yet because of the slow asf NHS so yeah :,) but i mean to figure out what i was experiencing was POTS, it did take me like 8 months? but probably around 10 for me to accept the fact that i most likely have it too 😭 an official diagnosis unless i can rack up the money to go private is probably gonna take me like another year at this rate, but hopefully it won’t be that long

4. i have to pick just one? LOL uhh probably the blood pooling! it’s so annoying because especially when im out and about, i can’t be with my legs in the air 24/7 so it’s always bound to happen. compression socks help but only to an extent, and it stops me from doing so muchhhh :( it means that queueing for things and standing for more than a couple minutes is so so much harder, and if i have too much blood pooling in one day then my can legs ache for DAYS after that. it’s so painful and annoying and just aaghhh i hate it

5. on a regular day: i wake up, chug water which i leave by my bed for the mornings, get out of bed slowly and walk downstairs to make breakfast. i chug electrolytes and go for a short dog walk, then come home to do schoolwork and my family make lunch/dinner so i don’t have to stand around too long. i’ll make sure i get any chores done that i can, and i’ll try to chill in the evening

on a bad day/flareup: i wake up a lot later, have my electrolytes with water and only get out of bed when i need to. i’ll do schoolwork from my bed (if i feel well enough to concentrate), and have salty snacks rather than proper meals, unless my family make me anything. i stretch from bed to combat deconditioning, and if i feel decent enough i can have a bath

6. i don’t have access to any specific medication unfortunately, so i currently just manage with painkillers when my chronic pain is extra bitchy + anti-nausea meds when i feel sicky

7. salt sachets (the little ones you get at like mcdonald’s and stuff) to shove in my purse/pocket in case symptoms flare while i’m out, compression garments, electrolyte tablets, and a recliner bed so i can raise my legs more when resting

8. electrolyte drinks!! not the tablets though (i hate the taste of all the tablets except like 1 lol) - my fav is making electrolyte drinks from scratch! at the moment i really love iced lemon water with honey and salt. i also saw smth about this fancy coconut water drink to make so i may try that and it may become my favourite :0

9. salty crackers, salt and vinegar/ready salted crisps, mcdonalds fries (stfu i know these aren’t healthy but they’re my favs 😭), pretzels, nuts

+ my fav foods to dump a bunch of salt on: pasta, veggies and dips (SALTED CUCUMBER IS SO GOOD), pizza, chips, soup, risotto, probs almost anything i eat tbh

10. i’ve only got one pair but i love them so shoutout to my knee-length black compression socks <3

11. i don’t have any 🥲 i really wish i could have a cane or maybe even a rollator but my family make fun of me and i can’t afford one lolsies

12. i try to do some stretching in bed so that i can safely work against deconditioning, keeping very hydrated, trying to stay upstairs as much as possible so i don’t have to suffer my staircase, asking family to make food for me so i can save energy, taking pain meds when needed, having a cold bath (if possible), trying to keep preoccupied with work if i can, but if not i’ll watch movies on my ipad and stuff

fun fact: i wrote this on a flare LOL so oddly fitting and now i’ve already made myself a plan for the next few days!

13. the thing that’s helped me most is accepting that something is wrong and remembering to listen to my body. going through life pretending that i’m perfectly abled and don’t have anything wrong causes much more harm to me than letting myself rest a few days. it definitely isn’t easy though - i still find myself getting stressed over work deadlines don’t get me wrong, but i’d like to think i’m getting better at adapting to things and noticing when a flare is coming on so i can be prepared to take the time for my body to rest.

14. chairs are your best friends now. i steal the chairs/stools from the kitchen table whenever i’m doing chores standing up for more than 30 seconds. compression socks also help! OOH and if you’re using hot water/heated stuff and struggle with temperature dysreg, i usually grab myself a cup of ice to munch on or an icepack to hold on my chest so that i don’t overheat :)

15. i’m afraid i don’t have much input for this as i left school for health reasons 😭 but i suppose keeping hydrated, getting accommodations such as not too many stairs + being allowed to take more days off to rest for flares, compression gear where possible, staying high on sodium + electrolytes, and extended deadlines would be good!

16. i’m gonna sound so silly for this but i love rewatching my comfort stuff. i’ve got my fav youtubers + fav films/series all compiled in a list, and i spin a wheel to decide which one i’m gonna watch! other activities i enjoy though are reading, playing video games, doing goofy quizzes online, chatting with friends, and going on pinterest sprees!

17. leading on from the last prompt, my fav is a marvel movie - tbh all of them bring me so much comfort but my favs are avengers, black widow, loki and any of the thor films <3

18. my main support system is my wonderful boyfriend, kurtis @agere-tomhiddleston-imagines 💚💛 he’s helped me through so much and he’s so supportive of me no matter what, and i love him dearly for that (and how awesome he is in general ofc) <3 other than that, my parents are semi-supportive! they still get things wrong sometimes but overall they’ll help if i need things and they handle all the shitty healthcare workers for me so i truly appreciate them for that 😭🙏 ooh and definitely just the general online community of chronically ill people/potsies!! i love y’all so much 🫶

19. okay i don’t know if this counts because she was an orthodontist rather than a doctor/nurse, but when discussing me getting braces she asked about my medical history and i explained it all but said i haven’t been diagnosed so i understand if she can’t accommodate me. then she said to me, “hun.. just because you don’t have a piece of paper with a few words on it, doesn’t mean you aren’t ill. if you’ve got symptoms but no confirmed cause, you’ve still got the symptoms, and i’m not gonna ignore those unless you want me to” - the validation was so relieving after years of fighting for doctors to listen to me and believe me :,) ❤️

(i’ll update this throughout the month! <3)

#vitassium challenge #potsawareness #chronically ill #dysautonomia #potsie #spoonie #chronic illness #pots syndrome #disabled

[nonbinary-octopus]

my internet went out last night so instead of getting liveblogged rimworld stuff you get all of it in one post

first off: had some visitors with a nice matched pair of names

next: there was a warg that kept eating my small animals, so I had Val, Nostil, and Gransier go kill it. Nostil sustained a few injuries, including one of his toes being ripped off entirely.

I thought this would be a good opportunity to give him a body mod as he has been pleading for, so after he was patched up I asked Dr. P to give him a peg leg

she. failed.

Somehow, despite being a very skilled professional doctor, instead of amputating his leg, she stabbed him in the torso and destroyed a lung.

Doctor Pugoik, what the fuck.

also how is that a minor failure. the lungs are nowhere near his leg and the boy is now bad at breathing, which lowers his consciousness, which has a bunch of other bad effects on him.

around this time I sent our new guy, Christian, off to do some peace talks near where we rescued Dr. P, and on the way back he stopped at those same two towns again, and bought some medicine because we ran out. He also saw that one of those places had an anti-toxin lung for sale, though we can't afford it, so once we have enough money, we can buy one of those to give to Nos, which will have dual benefits of being able to breathe and since he's a body modder, he'll be pleased to have another artificial part.

another, because when Chris got back with the medicine, I had Dr. P try again, and this time she gave Nos a peg leg successfully. That bumped his mood up eight points, from a -4 debuff to a +4 buff.

The peace talks went well, also.

And finally! Baby Gransier!

She's three now! I had not been keeping track of her age, and this surprised me.

Fortunately although we are pretty low on materials for clothing, Val did make some kid clothes (possibly because they require the smallest amount of material and he was able to skip to those tasks first), so she's dressed at least.

She then decided to go draw on the floor in the freezer.

Child why

She's cold sensitive due to being an impid, and doesn't have a parka. She was complaining that the main house (60ish degrees at the time) was too cold, and she decided to play in the -2°F freezer.

No.

I made her come out and play in the all-purpose room instead.

Also, not screenshotted, but Dr. P has been making good headway in taming all the wild animals. Nos and Xasalt are helping (and Xasalt has a higher animal skill actually), but I've been having Xasalt sleep during the day as much as possible since, as a dirtmole, she hates being under direct sunlight. So most of the time that she's outdoors the animals are asleep, and she can't tame them then.

We've got a decent number of farm animals now! A couple muffalos, some ibex, two turkeys, one mare (they're trying to get the other horses but no luck so far), and a yak we bought from some traders so we could have yak milk

and several squirrels and rats and guinea pigs. I have those set in the autoslaughter to just keep one male and one female (non pregnant) adult, because I don't want them to increase in number to the extent that keeping them tamed is a full time job. They're mostly for a meat supplement anyway.

Unfortunately they've only been successful in taming the male turkeys, and the singular female turkey either wandered off the map or got eaten by a predator, so no eggs for us yet.

the muffalos and ibex tho we've got both male and female, and most of the females are pregnant

#original #rimworld #gamer octopus #world 3

[kerberosstyxnixcharonandhydra]

I would wish to see

OK OH LORD THIS IS GONNA BE LONG, some is stuff discussed w/ my pal @idiotv2 and some is just mine (we each have our own versions but there's some stuff shared so!)

without further adieu: These are kinda old lol. I'll be doing an eventual post about their USC interpretations

ALL:

yeah theyre all related in this one.

They're also all italian immigrants!

There is a front related to each one (Charon's Ferry - clothing store | and i cannot remember the others tbh. kerby's was a trampoline park tho. they go feral in there)

ALL SOME FLAVOR OF NB (they/them) and all of them aroace...except hydra who is the token allo /hj

all our cogs have some slight basing on animals so. furries the lot of them (affectionate)

All have some form of bone/joint/frame/shell issues (The head attorney does too) <- that's their Zizi btw (italian gender neutral for aunt/uncle figures)

All lost their shells but in different ways

(Left is relationships, right is an old reference with their shells + my friend's oc joey. hes funney i like him.)

Charon:

the oldest and tallest

got put into a leadership position but would rather not TM

I'm pretty sure that with their shell Charon was considered to be pretty attractive

Wolf based, i believe they're a timberwolf but we may not have been that specific

Our designs and HC's diverge around when they all lose their shells so -- Charon (to me) becomes a spotlight thing

(Based on the light almost looking like a moon and how wolves howl, and them not wanting to be IN the spotlight)

legal surname is Christy

Gorgon thing also, can reflect damage back at you. maybe also turn you to stone if you step into the beam of light and theyre MAD)

SO SCARED OF BUGS THEY CRY AND GAG AND THROW UP IN THEIR MOUTH (i joke but they are terrified)

COFFEE SNOB

Lost shell due to illness (from their Zizi)

Styx:

Second oldest/second tallest

The affair child TM (this is unfortunately true!)

Their animal was a hyena and boy they laugh like one

THEY ARE ALSO A DHAMPIR (male vampire and human woman) or the rough equivalent. the trait of fucked up bones appears in frame issues x2!

used to do ballet for fun in italy, fell and fucked up their foot/leg so bad they had to stop (it also required a transtibal amputation)

they have a wheelchair for bad days, but often use forearm crutches, or a cane + prosthetic (styx and graham and the foreman in the prosthetic legs club)

NO ACCENT BTW. i cannot stress this enough their voice is a dead monotone with no accent or inflection

Surname is Showalter, despite relation to Charon

DOES IN FACT DRINK BLOOD SOMETIMES. and has a life drain ability (i think it should be through their voice and this is my HC list even though i share many w/ my friend)

Showed a few symptoms of the same illness and skipped right to "get this thing off me NOW before it gets worse"

Nix:

The forgotten middle sibling (REAL) who has a passive cheat that makes people unable to sense their presence (They are a cognitohazard)

This can be rectified if you're around them a lot, but it fucks up your brain forever pretty much. They can also amplify the effect to sneak around if they want (but machines like automatic doors and cameras also forget they exist)

Almost perfectly identical to the head attorney, even when they had shells

They use this to fill in for Nyx (originally when Nyx was too ill to work even after using sick days) and they now intend to go to law school

They're why everyone hates lawbots bc they would give fake CnD's and court orders

Weird bird/cat/bat hybrid thing. cat with feathery wings (and they have white patches which are remnants of their freckles)

Surname is Christy

my freak child with an eating disorder (due to derealization and the feeling that "well im not real why bother" yeah cosmos doesnt take kindly to that.)

Weird luck powers. once made buck roll BAR 7 times in a row just by looking at him weird

Also lost shell bc of illness.

Kerberos:

doberman pinscher (parents weren't going to straighten their ears but i assume another family member did under the guise of getting their ears pierced. sickness and despair in the world

SO PROTECTIVE OF HYDRA FOR REASONS THAT ARE SO FUCKED

conspiracy theorist (but not in a fucked up way, in a funny way. like cryptid hunting) (theyre also so oblivious. we had a joke about them asking THE PERSON THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT about... well themself, without knowing)

One time Hydra got dumped on their doorstep at 8 years old and they never got a moment of peace since (they were like idk 10? 11??)

can obtain messages thru electronic signals ("MOOOM THE TV CALLED ME A BITCH AGAIN" "lol youre so imaginative")

Surname is Showalter

GOT HIT BY A TRAIN AND THEIR SHELL BROKE APART

HYDRA:

IDIOT BLACK CAT ENERGY

The shortest and youngest, but oh so feral

talked to god once we dont need to focus on that

IMMIGRATED ON ACCIDENT I CANT STRESS THAT ENOUGH

kind of a brat but in a PTSD way (neglectful/abusive parents)

"mommy why do you have beef with me im 4"

had 2 imaginary friends growing up, a greek fish who's name translated to Jabberwocky, and a talking house (both are in fact real dw about)

their parents didnt wanna immigrate but they were 8 and didnt understand so after a tantrum their parents packed a suitcase and dropped them with kerberos

they also didnt get a chance to learn english for for like the first few months they only spoke italian (and some greek)

vessel of fate sort of.

Surname is... well they legally changed their name to be.... hydra Hydra. after the mario movie (the live action one) where mario's surname is also mario. theyre wacky.

lost their shell in a drunk driving accident (the designated driver was drunk and drove them right into another car head on)

anyways have some funneys

#satellite investors #toontown #toontown corporate clash #charon #styx #nix #kerberos #hydra #headcanons #im insane im crazy #currently im doing a version of the post card w/ my shellless designs #(but the shelled ones need A LOT of work and updates lol) #long post

[zazu75]

Gilderoy/Auguste idea... with a wish... and a dream....

It’s as much Gilderoy/Auguste as it is Gilderoy/Schwartz

Super self indulgent because I am shameless lmao

But anyways, @legendaryandroid had the premise of the ring bearer chosen being teleported to the past and stopping Schwartz from being possessed by the corrupted ring

And that idea has lived in my head RENT FREE I tell you

And you’re going to hear about it, and it’s long

It starts with things going to shit. As it usually does when you’re out to save the continent from its own destruction.

Everyone is on edge and nervous and you’d think this means they’d stick together but no. Tempers are flaring. They keep bickering. And after one particularly nasty fight, Viola snaps and says she’s leaving. They tell her not to go, they need her, and she points out they’re all replaceable to her and to each other.

Storms up to her room slams the door etc

This unfortunately shakes them a lot. Gilderoy especially, even tho he’s wearing the ring. They shuffle the ring between them a lot, so it’s not like they haven’t had people come and go.

And double unfortunately, Auguste is acting a little distant lately, especially after that, and... Gilderoy starts to genuinely feel replaceable. 

Then Auguste gets hurt. More bickering ensues, tensions climb higher. A battle later and a bunch of them are hurt. Auguste is especially hurt. And Gilderoy feels guilty. 

He makes a wish on the ring to be able to save Auguste (he's read the books in Islas library) from his pain, from his previous pain too. If he had just never taken the ring, if someone had interrupted them,  if if if... 

He falls asleep full of regrets and bad thoughts.

He wakes up the next morning feeling like he’s hung over. He doesn’t recognize the room, but he recognizes Everhold when he looks out the window.

... He was in the woodlands the night before. 

The first thing he notices when he stands up is… he is not as tired? Even with the hangover. And his back doesn’t hurt. Muscles sure are sore. He looks at his arms, body. He... his clothes are different…. Why?

And why does he recognize the outfit?

Then he realizes. The ring is missing. He looks for it, feels tired, so he goes to wash up and sees his reflection in the water and—who the heck— what the heck—

That’s himself? From... 25 years prior???

He sits down back on the bed and decides he’s not sober enough for this and goes back to sleep.

He wakes up early afternoonish to the same thing. Decides to try and figure out what’s happening but 1) this is not gonna solve itself in the inn room 2) he’s starving.

He goes down to extend his stay and to get food and heads to the tavern to see what he can hear about what’s going on.

And he finds out 1) he was wrong. It’s 22 years ago. And 2) none of the others are around.

So he sits at the counter and mildly panics because 22 years ago he wasn't even in Everhold? What is he doing here?? and he's done eating and is staring around trying to figure out what was going on when--

--he had told him a few times that he would recognize him any time, anywhere. It had been in jest, but he does recognize him.

He recognizes Schwartz as the tavern door swings open and lets him in. He watches him walk to an empty table and sit down, eyes downcast. He watches him order food and stare listlessly at the table while he waits.

It's a habit to reach for the ring, even when it's not there--and it's not, but he doesn't remember giving it to Millard--

Schwartz gets his food and he plays with it. And Gilderoy remembers the wish he made. and he thinks, maybe, this is a chance? maybe...

He scrutinizes him for a moment then orders two drinks, then goes over. He sits down across from him and greets him with "blue sandstone."

Schwartz looks up, tired, sad, confused, and Gilderoy explains that he thinks blue sandstone would fit Schwartz, even if he seems more of a gold type of guy.

The conversation is slow and kind of forced, Schwartz isn't willing to talk much, but he is willing to listen. At least it's a distraction, and at least he's eating a little now.

Introductions are made. They shake hands over the table and they keep talking. Topics shift, superficial things, until Schwartz is halfway through his second mug of mead and tells Gilderoy that his wife's funeral was that day.

Gilderoy gives his condolences, and Schwartz shakes his head, tells Gilderoy about the cheating, the betrayal. She cheated and her lover murdered her.

Gilderoy sympathizes, and Schwartz opens up a little bit, talking about the hurt, and the pain. It gets too much and he decides to leave, but Gilderoy buys a bottle of wine and goes with him. They walk, talk, and pass the bottle between each other. It's easier out on the empty streets, no one is listening in. And when things get too emotional, they can go quiet and pretend to be looking around. 

Gilderoy is sympathetic, but he does gently correct Schwartz whenever he says blanket opinions or facts. No, not all of humanity is bad. Not everything is built on lies. Not everyone is a betrayer.

By the time Schwartz is fed up with these corrections, they're sitting on an outer wall of Everhold with a mostly empty bottle between them. He is suspicious, and asks Gilderoy what he wants to start with. And Gilderoy shrugs and says he just saw someone who looked like they could use a friend.

Schwartz is taken back, but challenges Gilderoy about it again. Asks Gilderoy to prove it, and Gilderoy nods, thinks for a second, and tells Schwartz that he'll be in the tavern every night for dinner. Come find him then.

He gets down from the wall and makes sure Schwartz is down safely as well before he leaves. 

Once he gets back to his room, he goes to sleep, exhausted.

And next morning, he pulls everything out of his pack and catalogs them. If he was staying here, if he was really getting this chance, then he would have to make enough money to stay at the inn, pay for dinner and alcohol for two.

His old work makes him cringe. Did his skill come with him, he wonders, and decides to test that out. And— hey, this looks much more impressive! He can sell that, but first...

A sandstone pendant on a silver chain. It looks spectacular. He admires it in the light before he goes to work on making other pieces.

He gifts the blue sandstone pendant to Schwartz that night, after they eat and leave the tavern with another bottle. Schwartz is surprised, unsure what to do, but Gilderoy says he should wear it and see how it feels. So Schwartz does, quiet for a few moments, then smiles for the first time and admits it fits well. Gilderoy beams ("see? told ya I know my jewels" "indeed you did") and doesn't falter even while Schwartz tucks the necklace under his clothes.

Their conversation is less awkward, after, easier to flow, as Schwartz opens up more and more in the next few nights. 

They talk of their patron deities and as usual, Gilderoy is far too happy to explain his patronage to Steorra (my hc is that he worships her as his main deity) and what he sees in the world. Then he asks Schwartz about what he sees, and Schwartz gives the edgy answer of deceit and greed, and Gilderoy asks him if that's all he's seen lately.

A long discussion ensues, where Schwartz concedes that Gilderoy's kindness is outside of what he's seen lately. And Gilderoy helps him shift his perspective, just a bit, by sharing stories of other people who do kindness (some have not been born, like Alfyn and Millard. Some he's known as a child. Some he knows he's met on the road by now).

Schwartz listens intently, and then, after a moment of silence, asks what he had done to be shown such unkindness by the world. Gilderoy shakes his head and says sometimes, bad things happen to good people, and they have to choose how to react to it. Schwartz asks how Gilderoy would have reacted to his situation. And Gilderoy first jokes that he would've never married in the first place. Schwartz rolls his eyes and Gilderoy laughs. Then he gives him a real answer. He would keep working. Work on achieving his goals.

(hc territory here) he mentions how his mother threw him out, and why, and how the rest of the family quickly disowned him after. And how it stung, but he kept doing what he wanted to do. Because it made him happy.

And he looks Schwartz in the eye and seriously asks him what would make him happy, despite everything.

Schwartz doesn't have an answer until the next night. He says he wants to keep writing. He wants to be a successful playwright. But... he looks away, almost ashamed as he says the next part, he feels he can't write right now. Gilderoy asks why, and Schwartz alludes to his lack of inspiration. He insists it's fine, however, because he's meeting with a good friend to speak to him about it tomorrow afternoon. Surely they will come up with a solution.

Gilderoy asks him who it is, and Schwartz starts to talk about Simeon. Gilderoy gets the sinking feeling that this was going to happen then and there, and he has to do something to save Schwartz without looking suspicious.

He finds himself making a similar offer to what he made to Auguste. To travel. Schwartz has seen even less places than Auguste, so maybe with travel... He talks about the sights, about the people, tells Schwartz about wonderous places he knows exists, the kind of people he meets in towns, both nobility and common. Has Schwartz ever been on a ship? There's so much out there that can be inspiring. So many things to do and see and learn.

Besides, he hesitantly adds at the end, when he sees he has Schwartz's attention but not his conviction, it would do good for him to get away from his wife's grave. It must be stifling, to be so near.

Schwartz is quiet for a while, but then he agrees. It is stifling to be near her grave.

He tells Gilderoy he would think it over and bids him goodnight. Gilderoy watches him go.

He can't sleep that night, filled with dread, hoping it works. He needed to make a spectacle of himself the next day somehow. Something that would make Schwartz look over and be reminded of the better side of the world. He thinks, as he works on creating an intricate necklace, that he better be loud while he sells things tomorrow. His goods will bring in people. He knows it.

The next evening comes, and Gilderoy waits at the tavern, worried...

But Schwartz shows up!

Gilderoy does his best to hide his relief, even more so after Schwartz asks him about the traveling thing. He does his best to convince him, and tells Schwartz to approach him while he works any time he wants.

Schwartz is... suspicious. What's Gilderoy's end goal here? And Gilderoy gives him a warm smile and tells him that he saw a guy who looked like he needed a friend, so he wants to be that for him.

Schwartz accepts the answer. They move on to other topics, after.

Next day, Schwartz comes to Gilderoy, having made up his mind. He has plenty of questions, which Gilderoy happily answers, and they decide to set out in a few days.

Schwartz slowly opens up more and more on the road. Gilderoy still loves the starts, loves his work, and Schwartz likes to take notes and ask questions and they learn many new things together. 

(though Gilderoy still has nightmares when he's in the Cliftlands. It's been months, by then. Why did he still remember everything so clearly?)

They grow closer, and Gilderoy discovers, to his delight, that once Schwartz is comfortable around him, he's also comfortable invading his personal space. It's not unusual for him to lean against Gilderoy, which is delightful (or marvelous, as Schwartz still has the same favorite word).

A year or so on the road later, they find themselves back in Everhold. They're friends, now, well and truly, and Schwartz is a lot happier than before.

He even has a few scripts he wants to show his friend.

Gilderoy is worried the entire time Schwartz visits with Simeon. But he comes back himself and looks so excited to be able to direct a play.

It goes very well. Schwartz is truly on his way to starting his career now. Gilderoy tries to stay as long as he can, but he needs to get a move on. He wasn't going to settle down, especially not in the service of the nobility of Everhold.

Schwartz is super sad to see him go. Gilderoy promises to visit, but he's so worried about the ring, and how he's leaving Schwartz in the mouth of wolves, and he has to say something that could remind Schwartz of what he's learned in his travels.

And Schwartz is close, and Gilderoy looks at his eyes and his lips and decides to do the best thing that helped Auguste before. But this time, it's different, because this is Schwartz, not Auguste.

He presses a gentle kiss to Schwartz's forehead and tells him to always remember that he's in his thoughts and heart.

Another wave, a few more words, and Gilderoy leaves, ready to be back out on the road again. But also afraid, because he's not sure who he'll find when he gets back.

(Schwartz, on the other hand, thinks it's strange that he wanted Gilderoy to kiss him. The thought catches him off guard, and it sits with him too long and too deeply, and he can't seem to ignore it)

Gilderoy comes back in a few weeks. And Schwartz is still himself, his career growing despite it all.

Months turn into years, and every time, their goodbyes are an affair full of some sort of tension. Gilderoy is doing his best to hold back. Schwartz is confused, at first, then accepting.

Until Schwartz is ready to leave his patron's shadow and step out on his own. He had set his sights on the plains, but there's plenty of rumors of a rising star there. So he consults with Gilderoy, and, after months of preparation, he travels to work in Grandport.

He finds a troupe there, very willing and eager to have new talent, and they quickly grow successful. 

Gilderoy can stay longer stretches of time there. And they grow closer than before. And then even closer, when Schwartz gets fed up and makes the first move, much to Gilderoy’s surprise and joy. He starts writing letters when he's gone now, sending each to Schwartz, to tell him of his adventures.

Years pass. Schwartz is a rising star of his own. His work is dramatic with an adventurous flare. Nowhere near as impressive as the rising star in the plains, but he's doing splendidly and is happy. And Gilderoy is happy for him, with him. Schwartz's outfit only gets the slightest changes. A dab more color (blue, like Gilderoy), and a cape. Gilderoy thinks he looks amazing. 

(and yet, Gilderoy can remember the bickering and fighting like it happened a second ago, not a few years now)

It comes as almost no surprise when they get engaged, and later married. They are never shy with their affections, even in the public eye. They love each other very much.

Time passes, passes, passes. Gilderoy finds his trips out of Grandport growing shorter and shorter. And his time there becomes longer and longer, and he realizes he's ready to settle down in Grandport, so long as Schwartz is by his side.

They build a life together. A home, a store, a patron or two. It's going well.

Until, one day, a 16 year old child walks  into Gilderoy’s shop. Gilderoy looks up from his work and immediately recognizes him.

Millard.

Millard walks into Gilderoy's humble store, and as soon as their eyes meet, they recognize one another. And yet, Gilderoy thinks, this is the first he's seen of the others. Maybe, like Schwartz, Millard wouldn't recognize him.

But that thought dissipates when Millard looks around and tells Gilderoy that he can't believe he settled down.

Gilderoy says he has, and he's happy here, thank you, so he won't be joining Millard on any adventures.

Millard looks at him a while and asks where Auguste is.

Gilderoy replies that Schwartz is out by the docks today with the troupe.

Millard asks what Auguste is doing there. Gilderoy says Schwartz is working. There's a new ship launching today, so a celebration is being held and they're performing.

Millard gives Gilderoy a strange look and asks if Auguste is still asleep. Gilderoy asks him what he means, and Millard explains how everything is a little off.

How the world is different, how so many details are different, and that their experiences are off. And hasn't Gilderoy noticed? that all of this--

—and Gilderoy cuts him off. It's not the real world. He knows this.

He knew from the start. He hadn't been to Everhold until his late thirties.

This wasn't a wish come true. This was a dream.

Millard nods and says dreams end, and they need to wake up.

Gilderoy shakes his head. Says he's happy to let this dream play out. He doesn’t really want to go back to the fighting from before.

Out there, Auguste is distant, they keep bickering, everything is going to hell. Here, Schwartz is close and they have a life together and they're happy.

“But…” Millard asks, “what about the rest of us?”

“What about you?” Gilderoy asks.

Millard looks stunned, looks down, then meekly asks, "what about me?"

Gilderoy freezes at that, he sighs deeply after a moment, reiterates he doesn't want to leave. That Millard can stay with them, if he wishes, but he's not leaving.

Millard says they have to, the world needs them. The ring gave them this dream, but it's been three days, they have to wake up. The others woke up, so they have to too.

Gilderoy repeats his sentiment, and Millard is quiet for a while before he nods. He heads to the door and pauses, reminds Gilderoy that dreams don't last. He wipes at his eyes with his sleeves and leaves.

Gilderoy sighs and focuses on his work, refusing to think about this.

Until he realizes he told Millard where Schwartz was.

He runs out the door after him.

Millard, in the meantime, has watched the performance that Schwartz and his troupe had put on. He had clapped along with the audience, a sense of guilt settling into him as he knew he had to ruin this dream.

He sneaks to the back, as the actors are leaving the stage, and Schwartz spots him. The recognition is immediate. A light in Schwartz's eyes seems to appear, and his whole posture changes. And Millard instantly recognizes the playwright.

Auguste comes to him, and asks him what he wants. Millard reveals that it's all a vivid dream from Aelfric, because Gilderoy made a wish, and that it was time to wake up.

Auguste hums, asks Millard why he has to. Gilderoy has been very happy these last few dream-fed decades. He's content to let him be.

Millard is flabbergasted. Auguste has been asleep--how would he know? But Auguste reveals that he wakes often to see how Gilderoy is, then goes back to sleep.

And Millard is stunned. He goes back to sleep? He didn't want to spend the time with Gilderoy?

Of course he did, but this was Gilderoy's dream, and he had hurt Gilderoy, and his lover was happy with a version of him.

He thinks it's sweet, really, that Gilderoy sought him out immediately.

Millard shakes his head and says that the truth of it is, the entire dream is based on a wish. A wish for Auguste to be happy.

Auguste is surprised (and touched) by that. He's quiet for a while, then says that dreams don't last. Millard agrees.

Auguste sighs and says he'll talk to Gilderoy.

Meanwhile, Gilderoy cannot find Schwartz or Auguste or Millard. He finds the troupe, but Schwartz seems to have disappeared. So, after desperate attempts, he goes home, hoping to find someone there.

It's late, by then, near sundown, but he arrives as a courier is leaving his home. He realizes that the courier had a letter for one of them, and if he was leaving, then that means he gave the letter to someone, so--

He enters their home quickly. and--

He always told Auguste he could recognize him, anywhere and any time. And he can. He sighs softly to himself, a little afraid, and approaches him.

Auguste is reading a letter, and when done, he wordlessly hands it to Gilderoy.

Gilderoy takes it, reads it. It's an invitation from the playwright in the flatlands, the one who most likely has the corrupted ring. Gilderoy doesn’t know what that one’s agenda is like, but he knows it likely ends with death. 

Auguste steps closer and holds him. Dreams don't last, he tells him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. It would come to an end one way or another.

And Gilderoy recognizes what this means. And he asks, surprised, would Auguste accept the invitation to let this dream last longer? Auguste immediately replies yes, because it's the least he could do for him. To let him be happy.

Gilderoy leans into Auguste, resting his head against his shoulder. He confesses that he wished, more than anything, to make Auguste happy. He hasn't seemed happy for a while now, so he had wished that he never received the ring, so he wouldn't have had to suffer all those years.

Auguste chuckles, calls Gilderoy his treasure, and says he has him. He has Gilderoy, and even if they're distant at the moment, he still has him, and that makes him very happy.

Gilderoy hugs him back with his free hand, whispers against his shoulder that he loves him. It earns him a kiss to the side of the head before Auguste lets go. He tells him he'll see him on the other side. A blink later, and... he's gone.

Gilderoy is left alone with the letter. At least, until Millard walks in. He asks about Auguste, and Gilderoy answers that he already woke up.

Millard stands beside Gilderoy, sees the letter, and asks Gilderoy what he plans to do. Gilderoy asks him, in those three days, has anything changed?

Plenty, Millard says, as everyone else in the group seemed to have wishes of their own.

All of them pulled were into this dream, living the lives they wanted and wished for. And most of them weren't happy.

They had missed the group.

And the ones that were happy? they wanted to wake up too. They found this to be a nice break, but it reminded them of what as important.

What about Millard's dream, Gilderoy asks. And Millard shakes his head. He didn't have one. He was happy in the group. Despite everything, he was happy with them.

He hadn't even realized anything was wrong until mid morning the next day, and he'd taken the ring of Aelfric off of Gilderoy to try and ask it what was wrong.

They're quiet for a moment, before Millard softly says that he believes things will get much better now. He can't promise it, but... he'll always be there for Gilderoy, even when his dream ends.

Gilderoy nods, somber. A blink later, and Millard is gone. And then... silence. Then, everything fades away. It's dark, but he can see just fine.

...It was time to wake up.

But then the roar of waves sounds around him. A sunset illuminates the sky as he stands on a beach, and Schwartz is there, the one from this dream, and asks Gilderoy if he truly wanted to leave. Gilderoy says he has to.

But it's a nice dream, Schwartz insists. He can stay. They can keep dreaming.

Gilderoy laughs sadly and pulls him into a hug. He pulls a bit away and holds out the letter, still in his hand. Dreams come to an end. Even the nicest dreams end.

Schwartz looks at the parchment for a moment then nods. He steps back with a sad smile, and thanks Gilderoy for dreaming of the two of them so.

Darkness takes over again. The letter is gone. Everything and everyone is gone.

Then light.

Gilderoy wakes up with the worst hangover. 

He sits up to blink sleep and sun out of  his eyes, but there's weight beside him on the bed and arms around his shoulders.

Auguste's voice welcomes him back, and Gildeory looks at him to see his smile, and recognizes he's awake.

It's silent, too. No one is yelling or bickering this morning.

As a matter of fact, all of them seem to be trying to slyly peek in through the door without being caught.

He leans into Auguste's embrace and calls for them to come inside already. They all fall in, clamoring voices over each other as they all excitedly want to share what happened and what they did.

Millard hangs in the back, by the door, until Viola forces him into the room to sit at the edge of the bed beside Auguste.

They’re all smiling, and Auguste is near, and it's better.

Dreams end, but maybe he doesn't need to dream to be happy. To keep Auguste happy. They can be together and happy.

---end!... This is long... if you read this far, congrats!

#zazu writes #octopath traveler #champions of the continent #headcanons #gilderoy #gilderguste #Auguste #schwartz #unreality

[brainpoo]

Almost accidentally came out to a friend who is totally okay to come out to, he's trans, but, like, I can't write stuff I will die, inside.

I think I'm gander fluid, but might just be some other thing

What I do fuckin know is that I'm getting my chest removed, or at the very least smaller there's nothing good about it not for a women and not for a man

I'm not non binary tho

I think

It doesn't feel like I am?

I am jealous of their bodies

Being able to wear whatever and it's always fit, the stores always have small sizes and wearing over sized also works perfectly, whatever they want to wear and be comfortable with will look good at them

Obviously I'm talking about the stigma of genderqueer ppl, super skinny, but, fr, everyone I know like that fit the description PERFECTLY

Except me

Cus I didn't have any friends in childhood so the only, ONLY thing I had as a routine, as the thing I do do, was calling my mom to ask what there's to eat

And then go back to doing NOTHING

I barely had a phone and didn't had social media so nothing to kill my brain and time

And when my family was home they didn't do shit with me and at the weekends if we did stuff it was things I suffered from cus WHAT CAN I DO I DON'T LIKE THEM no I don't like trips outside no I don't like walking for hours in the sun just to nothing

Like what? See more trees??

Idc frfr

So anyway

I moved the "one thing I do every day" as a way to kill time unfortunately :( and I over ate

Also I found out most of my friends meals are smaller then what we usually ate at home so that might be related also

Also I don't like working out even though I do enjoy sports, now that I look at that it's probably the showers, I try to avoid them if possible and if I work out I have to take one

So I just got fatter, and my fuckin tits that is so weird to address them cus I don't think of them as part of my body

I actually can barely grasp my body, I don't feel that it's mine I keep thinking of it as the "trans stigma" cus that's actually how I would like to look like, being able to look more like a boy, or being able to wear tighter clothes that I would actually enjoy if my chest didn't made me want to just take a fucking knife and slice them off, BE GONE go like butter, just smooth the surface and fix that shit.

Over all I wish I was strong enough to have (in my head, the ""right"") eating disorder, ik it's a horrible thing to say, a lot of people struggle with it and their body can get extremely hurt from that, one of my close friends have it and I see what it does

And I genuinely think I would prefer that and finally have the right body for me, idgaf for others and how they see me I want me to finally feel right, at least at this important thing for me

But I'm not strong enough to stop myself from eating, even if I do, unless I'm removed from the place I'll come back for that and I hate this

I'm working out for a while and there's this one noticeable thing that helps a tiny bit cus it's just a small access body fat, but it's working

I'm also less hungry and wanting to go to eat sm all of the time but when I'm next to my family all of a sudden I really want to have a little more, or continue eating even tho I'm full (this is anyway cus I don't want to throw it away it's food that's wasteful)

It's something

I wish I was strong enough to have the right eating problem

It's horrible

But this is what I think every time I look at myself in the mirror ,every time I think of my body, every time I see a picture, every time I see another girl (literally 90% here fuckin damnit) super skinny and half of them aren't working out, I feel SO bad all the time and the best thing I can do is scream at myself for being a useless piece of shit that can't even commit to work out at a convenient program

Just a lazy, stupid, fat and a little bit ugly, with too big chest I can't even tell my transmasc friend cus then I'll overthink "now he knows, he'll think about it cus we're both overthinking and it'll be weird in my brain so hard mf" and I can't tell my parents, I overthink too much too often that as I imagined, the time I tried therapy it don't do shit cus I Kno exactly why I have certain problems, why I'm like this, and

That this is me

And I can't really fully fix it no matter what I want

I'll still have my same brain.

[sunrisesthings]

Oversized Hoodie

November 19, 2022

Hello, world! I've learned a lot about myself today. It was a rollercoaster ride of emotions. I was quite disappointed that one of my friends cancelled her lakad with me :( I'm already dressed so I still continue going to the mall despite of being alone. While waiting for my family to arrive to have dinner with them, I roamed around and looked for food because I was starving. I happened to buy a corn dog and an ice cream with a flavor of toblerone. My loneliness subsides the moment I taste the ice cream. I'm such a fan of sweet foods. Thankfully and hopefully I won't be able to develop a resistance to insulin.

Looking at this crowd of people around me, most of them have a companion and I can't stop asking myself why am I alone? I don't wish for more companies. Even one or two people would be enough to be with me during those times.

I can manage to be alone tho. Hovering around, looking for novels to read, eating alone and trying new things. But sometimes, I get scared by big crowds. I can't move around when my social anxiety attacks. I can't even talk to people that much. So I find wearing this oversized hoodie a very comforting one. My arms were fully covered and it was lengthy enough to reach my upper legs. It's so thick that I can't feel the coldness of the air inside and outside of the mall.

I can't deny the loneliness I felt inside :( I'm such a good company tho. Sometimes I don't feel comfortable with a lot of people but I'm a good company when it comes to being with my close ones.

I just think that maybe, God knows that I can do these things alone and I don't need anybody right now or maybe I was destined to be like this forever so maybe this was a practice? To be completely fine being alone.

Ended the day knowing that I didn't pass the DOST exam again. I wasn't that surprised, I didn't have a review and I did a lot of guessing. But a part of me, a little part of me hopes for something that maybe miracles do happen. Unfortunately, that's not the case for me.

I wasn't that 'magaling' I didn't even know if I'm the 'average one'. Sometimes I hate myself for being like this. I feel sorry for my parents too. They deserve a child that they can post on social media having a caption of "hey my daughter passed this exam!"

They didn't experience having that child and I felt really bad for that :<

I know there's still so much more in life. There would be comprehensive exams, board exam, and NMAT. I can't lose myself yet just because of this.

I know that scholarship would be a big help for me and my family. But maybe, God's plan was better than mine. Still there's a part of me that says, maybe it was for me but I let it pass, I didn't fight for it. My efforts weren't enough and that's true. But for the sake of me not blaming myself with everything, I learned to be gentle with myself and think that it wasn't really for me. Maybe God gave me a sign that there's a different path I should take and in order for that to happen, I should learn to accept the fact that there are some things that I wasn't supposed to have.

I still hope for better days, and for my victories in life and I will do my best for it to come true.

"When the time is right, I the Lord, will make it happen"

Isaiah 60:22

[4dtk]

CAN YOU PLS MAKE AN NCT127 ANGST WHERE THEY SAY SOMETHING AND IT MAKES YOU CRY/STORM OUT AND THEY REGRET IT AND A VERY FLUFFY ENDING 😩

long, enjoy!!! also i did it in point form, bc i am Tired. hope you dont mind <3 ALSO it might be not be directly outright x member saying x thing soooo...

taglist: @goingbananasoverpotassium

→ TAEIL would probably laugh at a comment said by another member, either under his breath or out loud and your eyebrows crease when you look at him, eyes welling up with tears.

it was supposed to be like a nice tenth floor dinner, just the small lot of them since the other members didn’t want to join

apart from mark, bc of dream schedules, he would return later

it was yours and taeil’s turn to cook so you got the things ready and stuff and the members were excited to taste your cooking because taeil has always boasted about it to them

you figured it was a bad day for you, so there was just… something off with your cooking. even you couldn’t pinpoint what was the matter but the food just felt off

you warned them before hand but you could tell it was a little bad by the look on their face

but they were nice enough, and while they didn’t say it they kinda implied it. you cringed a little at how they worded bc it felt like a backhanded compliment, but you were too shy to talk back

you didn’t feel like it was ur place to

stuff like “i heard from taeil-hyung that your cooking is really good! maybe next time — don’t worry, (y/n)!” “maybe (y/n) is just having a bad day, everyone has those.”

you’re like :// but you’re still his partner, you know? these people have been with him for longer sooo

the dishes were done, being washed up and being kept and soon the members retired to their rooms

you stayed outside with your boyfriend though, just talking about the meal and how you weren’t too happy with the outcome and taeil comforted you, saying how it was fine.

mark came back and unfortunately didn’t know you cooked it, so when he was eating while you two were hanging out on the sofa, taeil could hear mark mumble something about the taste

“dang, who made this? kinda tastes funky. and weird too.” and taeil has to stifle a laugh bc the delivery was good but the comment was not it

poor mark is so confused too bc like why could he hear your sniffles and taeil’s calls out for you

this was kind of why you didn’t want to tell taeil, because you knew that he would have some trouble stopping the jokes or comments.

you don’t blame it, but sometimes you wished he would be more assertive sometimes.

there’s only a sad sigh that you let out before you escape into the safety of his room, slamming the door and taeil hesitates just a bit, going to the table to confront mark

mark’s widened eyes only make taeil feel more at fault, bc he not only failed to tell mark (which happened all so fast bc the man was so hungry after dream schedules), but also didn’t say anything (and almost laughed too)

mark also feels guilty but taeil doesn’t give another look before he stalks over to his room where you’ve locked the door, but you always have this habit of sitting against the door and taeil has the perfect method to apologise to you

he has this funny way of videoing himself and telling a lame joke that he found off the internet and even though you can hear it you patiently wait for the phone to slide under the crack of the door.

the lame joke didn’t do the trick this time, so you were still crying after he told it, but seeing the video of him telling the joke was so sad, like it wasn’t even delivered properly because he was pouting so bad and he said sorry like ten times after.

you pretended not to hear it when he was videoing but watching it back over again, you couldn’t help but laugh just a little.

“can you come back in...?” you video back and pass it back and taeil watches it and feels even sadder bc your voice is cracking :(

he wastes no time to get into the room soon tho and he tackles you to the floor to pepper your face with kisses

→ JOHNNY likes to joke around a lot, but sometimes he takes it too far and carries the joke for too long.

finally having a night to yourselves, you get settled in front of the TV to watch a movie that johnny picked out, and surprise, surprise, he chooses a horror, paranormal leaning kinda movie

now, you’re okay with those kinda movies (so sorry to the ones that aren’t bc damn i’m not good at them either), but this one just… rubbed you the wrong way

it was gory and less horror and the whole plot was so messed up but johnny made fun of you like he wasn’t screaming his ass off either and the whole buildup of the plot along with his teasing made you feel small

“oh my gosshhh, babe, are you really scared of the plot? it’s just fictional, don’t worry! big johnny here will be here to protect you!”

and soon you notice his relentless teasing wouldn’t stop and you just sit there, credits rolling and frown in your face and tears rolling down your cheeks bc the movie was genuinely scary, it was natural to feel scared and weirded out.

johnny turns to you to deliver another joke but only comes face to face with your hurt expression, tears streaming down your face and all and he takes a deep breath that is shaky and unsure and when he reaches out for you, you only recoil and it hurts johnny so much

but he knows you’re hurting more, with the things he said and whatnot that he just lets you cry it out, swallowing on the other side of the couch.

johnny takes the time to reflect, but not before putting on a video of your favourite creator or song or whatever you like to watch ya know (youtube recs come thru) and he goes into the room and you think he’s going to leave you alone, which is what you don’t want bc you’re scared as hell, but thankfully he comes back with some blankets and leftover snacks from his room and drapes it over you.

he wordlessly goes to make a hot drink and you just watch from the living room as he prepares something, a deep frown on his face when the water won’t boil fast enough or the hot cocoa drops from the packaging. he gets it done though

it’s his way of saying sorry, and soon johnny comes back to the living room, hands put together to beg you and his face plunged into the cushion you have on your lap.

he stays there silently, a small “sorry” making it’s way through when you don’t say anything after a harrowing 10 seconds, which felt like an hour to him

he’s pouting the whole night, even when you pick out a nicer, relaxing movie to watch and you say nothing as you brush your fingers through his hair as a way to tell him you accept him

he accompanies you everywhere now bc he’s afraid you’re scared, which you won’t admit but you are and you appreciate it especially when you’re going into dark places

→ TAEYONG would use other circumstances to blame things on you and say something mean in the midst of a disagreement

taeyong is level-headed in a lot of things, that’s what allowed him to be the leader of both nct and 127 while also taking care of himself. it’s a tiring job, so he finds solace in you when he’s not on schedule

he also doesn’t want to burden you, but sometimes you urge him to tell you the inside conflict of the boys (if it’s not too confidential ofc) just so you can help him if he needs any help.

there’s no pressure to tell you, you just like to help and taeyong does tell you sometimes, your views add on to yong’s and help him make a better decision than if he were to handle it by himself

one day he brings up an important matter that felt urgent and bad enough that he had to call, until the point that you had a good amount of missed calls. you were at work sooo you couldn’t answer it

and so when he’s explaining it to you, also keep in mind this is just a hypothetical situation lol

“what do you mean x member got their girlfriend pregnant?” and taeyong is like rambling off into your ear and you try your best to listen for the details. you’re worried bc it was a younger member too, probably trying to have some fun in the midst of schedules. you don’t blame them but protection would’ve been good

in short, you didn’t like the way taeyong handled it, “what do you mean you told it to the management?” “should i have not done that?”

“no! what the hell... yong! didn’t you say they might want to keep the baby?” “yeah but... telling management should come first. we don’t know anything about childcare, (y/n).”

telling SM vs not. it’s a mixed reaction between the group, but they just want the baby, the girlfriend and the member to be safe, preferably not in the eyes of the public

“there’s your mom! there’s over twenty of you, yong, that’s a lot of mothers to get advice from! even me, i’ll try my best to help. management would probably just blow this whole thing over and it’ll make fans go rabid! you-”

“i already did it!” oh man, it’s going to be hard. and you can already tell a lot of stress is put on taeyong to handle this. “you answered too late anyways.”

“so now i’m in the wrong?” he pins the blame on you for not answering fast enough. “you were wrong at the start and you’re in the wrong, now. SM said to tell them about these kind of situations!”

“oh my god, yeah but? this involves a baby!”

“you wouldn’t understand, no. i’ve been doing this shit for almost six years now, i think i rather listen to my own members than you.”

oohhh... that hurt. you hung up right away and promised yourself to keep in touch with another member to know about the situation.

what part of it did you not understand? you’ve been with him for years, what did you not get? yeah maybe you weren’t an idol but you know that yong would know about how quick SM would be to deflect any rumours and in turn bring the whole situation to light

you didn’t get how he could say something so shitty too, but, hey who are you to say right? after all you ‘wouldn’t understand’

you can’t help but feel sad for the member too and esp the girlfriend, how scared they might be in this.

well before you can dial kun or johnny or yuta you get a call from taeyong and something in you tells you to ignore it but you press the green button

he apologises profusely, different from how he usually does with a calm voice but bc this is you, his lover and partner and he had no right to talk to you like that

the argument doesn’t make you cry, but more of the making up period because you frown when he’s saying sorry but what makes you start to cry is how worried he is for the member

you aren’t in any place to judge yong’s stance on the matter either bc in the end all he wants to do is to keep the member safe, even if the method to do it was a little different

“i’m sorry, love. i’m so sorry. that was low of me.” and you apologise too, just two crying adults over the judgemental nature of korean netizens and you’re just genuinely scared bc this could ruin the member’s career.

you’re glad to hear the other members are consoling the member however so you relax a bit, just sniffling a little from the cry sesh

“we’ll get through this, right? both x member and me. you’ll help me right?”

“of course, yong, i’d do anything.”

→ YUTA is pretty naturally blunt and doesn’t realise he hurts you until he looks back up from whatever he’s preoccupied with.

yuta always loved bringing you out to shop, whether it’s to designer stores or the smaller ones in malls, you like to dress up for him to get his opinion on outfits

the yuta today was just a little annoyed, though and you didn’t blame him

there were some fans earlier than made him a little pissed bc they didn’t understand the concept of personal space. he was genuinely excited to bring you out today

in his get-up of a cap and sunglasses he silently curses when he gets caught and you can only offer a smile as the fans took photos and brought out their books for his autograph

later the item that he came out to get was also out of stock, so it added to the frustration, you think

at this point yuta just kinda wanted to go home, but he didn't want to burst your bubble so he brought you to one of those shops

you do the normal things like picking out clothes, trying them on, finding different combinations for whatever you could match and each time you come out to show yuta your outfits, he would just nod and look back down to his phone

you weren’t sure what he was preoccupied with, but you assumed it had something to do with work

here you are trying to make the most out of one date that you were able to get with him and he's throwing sort of a tantrum although silently

and so when you show him the outfit (“babe, look!”) that you’ve been planning in your head that you managed to pick out from the many choices of the shop, he only manages a “yeah it’s fine. could be better though.”

you weren’t angry per se, more of annoyed bc wasn’t he supposed to be enjoying the date with you? you know there were some unfortunate circumstances earlier but would it be too much to at least want that he return the same energy?

you’re confused and frustrated and you don’t say anything when you’re out of the changing room, returning all the clothes you’ve picked up and giving him the silent treatment

he’s confused too, now, but doesn’t think much of it when you don’t reject his hand

it’s not the best way to show your dissatisfaction but it’s only after a few good metres of a walk (into a more quiet street thankfully) that he wants to ask why you’re so silent, why you returned the clothes

and yuta wants to talk again but stops when he can hear sniffles in front of him, since you refused to turn around

and only then does he realise you’re crying and he racks his brain for whatever might’ve happened. was it the fans? was it him?

yes yuta it’s you

anyway you manage to voice out softly, about the bored look that yuta had no problem showing when you were excited about the date and yuta realises he doesn’t even know what you picked out at all

he can barely remember but it resembled an outfit you showed him the other day and he was like “shit.” “they wanted opinions and i just said that it could be better.”

and he remembers the non-stop texting from the newly employed manager who will not get off on his ass about the paparazzi and stuff, where you could get into an ugly situation fast.

yuta was pissed that he thought he would let anyone or anything hurt you and was just replying rapidly during the changing room debacle. it was bad timing

yuta explains it with a guilty look on his face, bringing you into a hug as he let you cry into his shirt. it’s not so much of a mean thing he said, just lack of communication and he feels so mean bc you were probably looking forward to this date like crazy too

cupping your cheeks, he offers a smile of consolation, wiping your tears away before pecking your lips.

“i’m so sorry, princess. let’s go home and make it up to you, yeah?”

→ DOYOUNG wouldn’t say anything to hurt you, but when he believes he’s right, that can get ugly.

it was just like a simple discussion about this particular subject while you love your boyfriend very much it was very obvious that he was wrong, at least in your book. it’s not so much of differentiating views bc i believe doyoung has to emotional maturity to see through your differences and compromise at least

this? this was hard cold facts and i’m sorry doyoung you are not the father unfortunately wrong, you stay girlbossing tho

you find yourself to be quite knowledgeable in it as well, but you assume doyoung doesn’t know and tries to mansplain (he’s literally the last person i hc to do this but this man is strong-willed when he knows he’s right. i guess he just misjudged it this time.)

tends to get sarcastic when you don’t get the things he’s saying and he kinda mocks you with his voice tone and everything

“doyoung, it literally says here!”

“no, no, i read this somewhere when i was young, it was from a book too, are you telling me i’m wrong?”

“yes, that’s exactly what i’m doing, why the hell are you so worked up about it?”

“why the hell are you so worked up about it?” he mocks, “i know i’m right.”

you roll your eyes and just like whatever right? just a small disagreement and you would have to probably see his side of the story if he’s insistent that he’s right. you’re ready to give him the benefit of the doubt, but then he decides to continue the argument with a snarky remark.

“well since you’re so smart, you would know _____, right?” can’t think of anything right now but he would bring up something that happened in the past just as an argument against you.

keep in mind doyoung is speaking from pure exasperation and anger rn so his rational mind is like dead

you sigh, just tired of this while thing bc it’s been going on for quite a while. i’m not sure if that’s enough to make you cry but it might as well make you cry later on in the privacy of your room because you didn’t think doyoung would be so childish over this

so when he sees that you’re not coming out even after hours he gets worried, his caretaker side takes over. did you have something to eat before you came over, or did you have clean clothes? he didn’t want you to sleep in your old clothes

many things are running through his mind and he tries to get into your door. locked.

you’re not one to stay silent (bc you have been for the past hours) so you quietly unlock the door and doyoung notices how pale you look and how sticky your face feels

he works out that you’ve been crying and his heart immediately breaks bc he knows he did that over a dispute that even if he was in the right, he had no right to talk and mock and challenge you and instead talk it out like adults

he immediately brings you into an embrace and you let him do it without fighting back bc you’re tired from all the crying. and now that you think back it was such a stupid thing go cry over. you should’ve stood your ground and confronted him about the way he replied but the deed’s done already

you can feel his apologies in your hair, softer than ever and full of love for you and this is the doyoung you fell in love with. he explained that it might’ve been pent up stress or frustration and while thankfully and fortunately it wasn’t a large argument, he was still incredibly sorry

offered to wash your hair and body and everything. whether it’s sexual or not is up to you but he just wants to be close to you. washes you up as another apology

didn’t let you go even in the morning, holding you tight in his arms

→ JAEHYUN i feel would try his best to talk his feelings out with you, but there’s instances where it’ll build up and it’ll erupt into arguments. the argument is not the main thing, but rather the stuff he says under his breath after.

the argument gains the attention of the other members who try their best to calm the whole thing down, but fails bc you’re two fiery, passionate people against the other

it can turn ugly when ur passion is used to anger

“didn’t you know about these kind of things before you agreed to date me? why are you complaining about not having enough time?”

“i know. i know! of course i fucking know, but this was our second year anniversary, jae! i understand that you’re busy, but you can’t just fucking ditch on a dinner i told you months ago!”

jaehyun shakes his head and the rest of them thinks is for him to calm down, but then he mutters something under his breath and you unfortunately catch it

“well yeah, then maybe you should leave so i won’t have to sacrifice my already non-existent time.” the younger members jaw drops and and taeil and yuta just shake their head, and jae knows he’s fucked up

it was more of anger mixed with sadness, bc you were crying but your mouth is screaming something he can’t make out and you’re leaving the dorm by then

he’s glued to the floor and jungwoo widens his eyes and purses his lips like “u fucked up, dude…”, but the rest of them just eggs him on to get you at least before you leave the lobby

he manages to, but your face is already so messed up that you don’t want him to look at you

jaehyun is the type to get on his knees, tbh. as small as the argument is, he hates that he made you cry and he doesn’t even say anything, but the drop of his knees to concrete is like a bell in your ears

you look back at him curiously and panic, bc what if they’re other people and they see this, y’know? thankfully it’s late at night

you don’t notice it at first bc his head is facing the floor, but soon you realise he’s crying too and is wetting the floor below you

“i’m sorry. i- i shouldn’t have said that, even if you didn’t hear it. i’m so sorry, princess.”

he sounds so sincere, and what makes it worse is that you don’t argue often. when you do it’s really noisy and chaotic, so when you apologise, despite whoever side’s right, it’s sincere

this one is too, but he looks absolutely and particularly sorry during this one and you only crouch down in front of him.

you make him look at you, cupping his cheeks in your hands and you only give him a pained smile, knowing that it was going to be hard navigating your relationship again, prioritising time, remembering dates and things like that

you exchange a look, jaehyun doesn’t react bc he feels like shit. softly, you peck his forehead, saying that “we’ll get through this together”

later he sleeps only if he’s buried in your chest, still saying sorries along with pillow talk and he falls asleep that way too

→ JUNGWOO would probably tell a joke light-heartedly, assuming the atmosphere was playful. he expected you to laugh and smack him in retaliation, but it was anything but that.

the dining table was jovial in nature and the main star of the show was jungwoo, excitedly telling everyone about something he found before when he was on a date with you

that date… wasn’t the best and you remember it so well because you recall embarrassing yourself in front of a paparazzi/fan who came up to ask for a picture, and it was weird bc why was there only this one person who was holding a DSLR?

well you didn’t think much of it, but you assumed that they wanted a pic of you two, bc you were already public as a relationship and well… she actually wanted a pic with her and jungwoo

had to figure out a whole DSLR, and while you were ok with cameras, the pressure of everything made you anxious

jungwoo brought it up in dinner with the boys, adding it on as a story that he told them and thought that you would just brush it off, and the situation itself is downright embarrassing, but jungwoo repeating it not just for you but for everyone to hear? oh man

you’ve already lost the appetite to eat, and all that, just uneasy with how easily he told everyone about the moment, and you don’t realise you’re crying until you taste the salty tears on your cheeks.

taeyong is the first to notice, using his eyes to signal to jungwoo but it’s only when the table quietens does jungwoo realise his mistake.

he opens his mouth to speak but you just leave the table biting your lip, leaving everyone dumbfounded and a little guilty for laughing. jungwoo isn’t sure whether he should chase after you, but hearing the door slam, he feels intimidated

he scarfs down the food as fast as possible, already going around the table to gather the things you liked so you wouldn’t feel so hungry. he timidly knocks

he doesn’t expect you to answer though, but the rooms are away from the living room so the members won’t have to see him sitting down and waiting for a reply. he calls out that there’s dinner again but it’s hopeless, it’s quiet except for your sobs that aren’t covered up very well

jungwoo ends up putting his head on the door, bowl of food soon turning cold as the guilt settles in him. he wishes the floor would swallow him whole but he at least wants to apologise to you properly first

you come out later to find him asleep, food spilled all over the floor bc he was set on giving it to you. the boys didn’t want to clean it up either, bc then you wouldn’t have seen the stuff he collected for you

taeyong would give him a mouthful laterfor spilling it but he’ll hold back for now

you sniffle when the door is open and jungwoo is up in an instant and already apologising to you.

mumbling “sorry’s” and “that was shitty of me” and whatever, bc he truly didn’t think much of it until he saw you walk off in sadness. worst day of his life

you quietly help him to clean up the mess, and bring him to the dining area so you could eat with him. it’s like 1am, everyone is asleep, but you just exchange small smiles between every bite as a way of reconciling.

→ MARK would probably not directly outright say it, but it’ll be something of not defending someone if they happened to say something about you.

it was probably a reunion and stuff, with two of his old friends and you had gone to the bathroom to freshen up

and you could faintly hear a finally but you don’t think much of it, but you could hear them talking, however inaudible it was

it’s only until you come out of the bathroom and one of them only shoots you an uncomfortable look b4 going into the bathroom, possibly to avoid the situation at the actual table

and when you get to the table, his friend won’t stop talking, and you can tell mark is getting uncomfortable, too, but is making no move to do anything

how bad can it be, right?

“you’re a kpop idol now, mark! shouldn’t you be going for the higher statuses? the prettier ones? i mean your partner’s nice, just, you could do better, man.”

you wish you had done something, but you could only manage to cry, which is so embarrassing bc it would’ve been more #girlboss of you to strut out of there after you tell him off or something

the words just cut deep, and the fact that your own boyfriend wasn’t doing anything hurt you more. if the other friend had left the table to “use” the restroom, then this must’ve gone on for long, already

you try to contain your tears but they flow freely, walking right out of the fast food joint to hide somewhere. you see, mark doesn’t want to hurt their feelings, bc he’s just naturally a nice guy. all he can do is muster up a glare and scrams from the table to find you

it’s bad, he can’t find you and the weather is getting colder and it’s a whole two minutes before he finds you in some place away from the fast food joint muffling your sobs

his heart drops bc what if you had been taken somewhere? that incident might’ve led to a larger one, all because his lips were sewed shut during the exchange

“i’m sorry, hey. (y/n), (y/n),” he calls your name and strokes the side of your arms, omitting pet names bc you liked it when he called you by your name. “i’m so sorry i— they were just friends that i cherished before and- i guess not any more. i didn’t know how to tell him to stop…”

your tears glisten in the moonlight and you shiver just as a gust of wind makes its way over

it’s the perfect opportunity for mark to get close by wrapping an arm around you, and while he knows it’s not over, mark smiles just a bit when you curl into him

“i’m sorry. i’m so terribly sorry, i hope you know that. you- hum, you don’t accept my apology if you don’t wanna— i understand-“

poor boy is speaking in chunks bc he’s unsure of what to say, but you let him take care of you for the night, not rejecting the confession on his bed later

→ HAECHAN can be blunt when he wants to, always joking around, but sometimes he doesn’t realise the weight of his words, i guess.

he poked fun at ur mediocre play, plus it was in a game that you weren’t even that skilled in because your main goal was to let loose.

ur day didn’t go that well, esp from the water that leaked in your bag to the disappointed look your professor gave you

“sorry about my partner, they’re not the best at the controls. they play only with their thumbs because they likes those rhythm games.”

you know how smtg small can fuck u up, as minute as the situation is? yea

once you hear the familiar laughs of his friends, it causes tears to stain your cheeks

it’s not the dreamies dw but u thought at least their friends wouldn’t have laughed so obnoxiously

like haechan makes fun of you often and you can take it but it just felt like the world against you

i don’t blame you, those moments are the worst, when everything isn’t going right

he doesn’t notice you storm out, but when he turns back to ask if you’re ready, you’re gone, stormed out the room

he panics and ignores the friends calling out for him and he’s at least able to catch your hand before you can leave the dorms

it’s so awkward bc the other members are there watching the whole thing unfold but haechan doesn’t care, just focused on apologising to you.

he traps you in his arms head hidden in your nape as he looks down at the floor and you can’t get your sobs to calm down

“i’m so sorry. i’m sorry, i know how you had such a shitty day. i’m so sorry, baby.” and you know he means it, bc he sounds like he wants to cry too but you just stay debating whether to leave him

you don’t want to tho, but you also don’t want to be in front of everyone so you just sniffle and drag haechan back into his room and you’re hesitant bc you’re sure his friends are still on the call

sweet ass bf bc he notices your anxiety and goes right into end the call. he would confront them later, but now he just wants to pamper you

you sigh and hide your face into his shirt, last bits of tears coming out and staining his shirt and haechan wraps his arms around you, muttering apologies into your hair

you played more two player and fun games after :D

that night haechan wouldn’t let you sleep until he hears an affirmative ‘yes’ that you accepted his apology

the next day he confronts his friends and cuts them off lol, no one but him is allowed to poke fun at you (and if you cry again he’ll definitely apologise)

#nct #nct x reader #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct drabbles #nct timestamps #nct x you #nct x reader smut #nct smut #nct 127 #nct fluff #nct angst #nct johnny #nct jaehyun #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 angst #nct 127 fluff #nct mark scenarios #nct haechan #nct johnny x reader #johnny scenarios #jaehyun angst #yuta nakamoto x reader #nct doyoung x reader #taeyong fluff #taeil angst #taeil x you #nct jungwoo #jungwoo scenarios