#tw implied transphobia
Note
So Elliot, did you have any other significant others before Joule?
ELLIOT: . . .
ELLIOT: "Yeah I'm fine with it. I mean I had a few relationships while I was still in school but they didn't work out. It's not like that info will cause drama or anything so it's fine."
ISABELLE: "Yeah. T-that's why I asked."
Elliot looks towards Isabelle with a head tilt. Looking genuinely confused by her tone.
It seems he doesn't remember.
#storytag#pokemon#pokeblog#mod: @astrogoatz#elliot anwir#elliot the cosplay pikachu#isabelle yaeko#isabelle the skitty#cosplay pikachu#skitty#eliza anwir#tw implied transphobia#tw implied sa#// haha traumatic enduced amnesia go brr
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Knowing is Safe CH.2
Chapter 2
Fandom: Redacted ASMR
Couple: Geordi/Cutie
1.9 k Words
90% angst 10% comfort ( I actually did the math)
Intilizised words like this are cutie's thoughts. and the way there formated is important so pay attention ( if you have questions don't be afraid to ask)
Also, the beginning might seem a little confusing because I was trying to keep cutie gender neutral which was hard considering the subject.
For the TW I'm putting a lot of it in a category, still listed but I want it to be clear that the things aren't actually having and are just cuties paranoia and anxiety
TW/CW: Paranoia (Robbery, kidnapping, home invasion, intruder, murder, death, blood, being followed, being stalked, being attacked, abandonment)Cursing. Hinted homophobia and transphobia. slef doubt and hatred.
Let me know if I missed a trigger or if you spot any spelling mistakes.
Feedback is encouraged
Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for more!!!
PAST
You looked at the page, unsure why it was so enticing. One of the people looked like you. Or what you want to look like.
Beautiful!
Handsome!
Cool!
Confident!
The other person, the same gender as the other. They were, attractive, you focused on their lips, the ones connected to who you wish to grow up to be.
I want that.
The love?
The kiss?
the body?
All of it.
You want to kiss someone.
Yes.
Anyone?
I think so…
You could experiment!
Experiment?
Kiss girls!
Kiss boys!
Kiss people who want to kiss you!
Do people want to kiss me?
There has to be.
I can kiss anyone, of any gender?
I can kiss anyone, of any gender!
I can be anyone, of any gender.?
I can be anyone, of any gender!
If it'll make us happy!
I want to kiss-
“Pumpkin! We need to talk!”
Shit!
Was she listening?
She's always listening.
I hate her.
I love her.
She protecting us.
She's spying on us.
You make your way down the stairs, your mom has a sour look on her face.
“Pumpkin, you can't be having those thoughts. It's umm- those thoughts are not good for you.”
“Why?
“BECAUSE!”
Your father's hand lands on your mom's, calming her.
Thank you, dad.
“Because they lead to… experimenting, and we don't want you to get caught up in that kind of stuff. It’s not for you.”
PRESENT
“Everything’s normal. Human, unpowered normal. Our relationship went back in time, we both kind of ignored that I'm a telepath, that we’re just two normal people in a normal relationship. We’re happy."
No, we're not.
Yes, we are.
We have to be.
For Geordi.
It makes him happy.
So it has to make us happy.
Does it make him happy?
It has to.
“But what about those thoughts you mentioned last week? You mentioned how you don't ever feel safe. Could you elaborate on that?”
He remembered?
Of course, he remembered it was his job.
But we don't want him to.
Then lead him away.
Say it was an accident.
Say it was a lie.
Tell him the truth.
DON'T!!
Tell him you forgot your meds!
“Oh, did I say that? I actually forgot to take my anxiety medication, so we can move on from that.”
He sighed.
Why did he sigh?
He looks disappointed.
I should read his mind.
NO!
Geordi hate’s that.
Hates you.
Just focus on the session.
Wait whys is he on his phone?
He's texting someone.
Does he know?
Is he going to tell someone?
Will I be fired?
I'm gonna be fired.
That doesn't make sense.
They don't trust me.
What if they see me as a threat?
What if they lock me away?
Then Geordi wouldn't be safe.
He'll miss me.
Not if they erase his memory.
They wouldn't.
They would.
If they did it'd be good.
Good?
Geordi would finally be free.
Of you.
Of your powers.
Of the magical world.
You hear that?
What?
You zone back into the world, hearing your work-assigned therapist clear his throat.
“ Even if that's the case your supervisors have started to take notice of how you've changed. Your paperwork is hard to understand and when speculating on a case you jump to wild conclusions that hurt the case. You're less social than before and you've become very panicked by the smallest things. You've also refused to use your powers. These actions have been recorded by D.U.M.P for the past two months. It's clear to me that your recent mood isn't the cause of missed medication but something else.”
Your breathing rises, you try to steady it, hide that what he's saying bothers you, your thoughts are so jumbled you can't make much out other than panic.
“ And from what you've told me I think the cause is the absence of using your power. Up until 2 months ago, you were in constant use of your power. And from what I understand that was the result of your mother's abuse-”
“She didn't abuse me!”
Did she?
No.
But he's the expert.
He didn't live it.
He doesn't understand.
Maybe that's good.
What?
She was protecting us.
That's what you think.
Because she taught you that.
He's right.
NO, HE'S NOT SHE LOVED ME!!
Yes, she did.
Still does.
But what she did is still wrong.
“I'm sorry for using that word. Let me restart. Your mother raised you with a toxic belief, that you could only be safe if you knew what others were thinking, she used this as an excuse to constantly be in your head, not giving you a moment of privacy. When you applied this belief to your relationship you learned how this belief hurt others, so you tried to stop, cold turkey. This has caused you to become extremely anxious and paranoid. As your therapist, I think you do need to become comfortable in your own head, comfortable not constantly reading people's minds. I would also suggest you talk with your partner, I think couples therapy would benefit your relationship. Oh, it appears that our time-”
You were out of the room before he could say goodbye. You rushed to collect your stuff. You always had therapy right after work so you could leave right after. You rush to the parking garage.
Car? car!? where’s my car!?!
It's over there.
Where?
I don't see it.
It was stolen.
It was broken into.
No, it's there.
I see it.
Hurry!
Wipe your tears.
Call Geordi.
No!
Wipe your tears.
Calm down!!
It's not that serious.
Wipe your tears.
You can't drive like this.
Slow your breathing.
Call Geordi.
Ask him to pick you up.
Phone, where?
Purse.
Dial his number.
No contacts are faster.
Wait!
What if the car is bugged!?
It’s not.
But it is!
All your gonna do is call Geordi.
But that's how he knows.
The therapist.
He's listening.
He's not a telepath.
Isn't he?
No, he's a stealth.
So he’s watching.
No!
He's not doing anything to you!
I can't drive.
Take a taxi.
No, I'll be kidnapped.
Train!
Ok.
Where's the train station?
Right.
Left!
I look lost.
You look like an easy target.
There! train station!
Did you lock the car?
Yes.
No!!
Someone will break in.
Steal your car.
I locked it.
No.
You should have driven home.
I can't.
I'm…
Crying.
Not trustworthy.
With?
My self.
So? You don't matter.
SHUT UP!
People are looking.
No their not.
Read their minds!!
No.
They want to hurt us!!
No.
You missed your stop!!
When!?!
Just now!!
No.
map! map! map!
I didn't, it’s the next one.
People hate you.
You should run away!
Just start taking random trains!!
No.
Why?
Because people care for me.
Do they?
Geordi-
He doesn't.
My coworkers-
Are just co-workers.
You don't even have friends.
It's our stop!!
Get off!!
Go left!!
Right!!
Are we lost!?!?
No!
I know this place.
Behind you!!!
What!?!?!
Were being followed!!!
Don't look!!!
Read their mind!!!
No!!
Keep walking home.
Grab your pepper spray!!!
I can't find it!!!!
Hurry they're getting closer!!!
There’s another one!!!!
In Front of you !!!!!
They're gonna attack you!!!!!
Hurry!!!!!
I got it!!!!!
Wait
Their friends.
Meeting each other.
Of course.
Stupid.
Stupid.
What a fucking selfish idiot.
Not everything is about you.
Nothing is ever about you.
Wipe your tears!
Look.
Geordi’s car.
He’s home!
Is he?
“Geordi?”
Nothing.
Silence!
He’s not here!!
But his car.
He was taken!!!
He's dead!!!!
You couldn't protect him.
You killed him.
You ruined his life.
No! He is alive!
He's alive.
You yell out for him again, your voice shaking heavily as you walk toward your bedroom door.
Open the door.
Don't!
His dead body is behind that door.
Blood everywhere.
NO!!!
He's here!
He's alive!
I know it!
How?
I just do.
No, you don't.
You don't even know if there's an intruder in your house.
Is there an intruder?!
No.
Yes!!!!!
How else would Geordi die?
Open the door!
Wipe your tears!
You open the door, relaxing for a second when you find it empty, but then your brain starts working again.
Where is he?!?!?!
He's hurt!!
He ran away.
He was taken!!!
He left because he hates you and couldn't stand to be around a selfish idiot freak
Selfish idiot freak.
Selfish.
Idiot.
Freak.
Unlovable.
Alone.
Alone.
Don't wipe your tears.
You deserve this.
You are a monster.
Monster.
Disgusting.
You're so far in your head you're unaware that your thoughts are now words. Unaware of everything happening around you. You don't hear the door to the garage open of Geordi talking to you.
“Cutie, is that you? I heard you come in, but I didn't hear your car. I passed a farmers market on my way home earlier, I got a deal on your favorite fruit. I went to go grab it from the garage. Where are you? Oh there yo-”
Your trance loosens when you hear a wooden crate fall on the floor, wiping your head around to see your boyfriend quickly trying to get over the fallen boxes. He's rushing to you.
He's going to kill you!!!!!!!
No, he wants to help.
Why?
You ruined him!
Ruined everything!
I love him!!
He loves me!!
He's safe.
He's my safe space.
He not gonna hurt us.
He is safe.
You fall into his arms when he gets close enough, your arms wrap around his squeezing him as you cry into his chest, repeating his name.
“Cutie, cutie? What- what wrong?”
“I thought you were dead. That, someone, broke in, and killed you, and- and I couldn't- I- you were dead.”
“What, babe, what made you think that!? Were you threatened? What happened?”
Geordi tries to look for any sign you were harmed. the movement is sudden, startling you into raising your voice, trying to let out your frustration, trying to shut the voices up.
“I Don't Know! I just - they- I just- nowhere is safe- I can- it hurts! I don't want to hear it anymore- it hurt so much i- I can't stand it- i- please- please help!”
“Okay- okay cutie, why do I do, what do you need?”
“I don't- I don't know-maybe-no I can't -i - but it hurts- he hates it-but it hurts. I-can I? In your head?”
The worry that stained his face started to blend with surprise.
“Yes, yes, go ahead.”
You look into his eyes wanting so hard to just jump into his head, to leave your thoughts behind, but you can't.
Don't.
He'll hate you.
Don't!
He'll hate you!
Don't!!
He'll hate you!!
Don't!!!
He'll hate you!!!
Don't!!!!!
He'll hate you!!!!!
You start to slide down Geordi falls you down, gently holding you, not controlling you just supporting you. You cry harder.
“Ok- ok cutie, I've got you.”
“I just- I don't - I'm so lost- I can't- i- fuck!”
“Shh, it's ok, love- I'm here ok? You don't need to talk. I- you can tell me everything when you- when your calm down and you're ready.”
Geordi gently places his hands on either side of your face, lightly guiding your face to his. You can see how his eyes water and the way his lip quivers.
You did that.
You hurt him.
You try to look away but Geordi prevents that.
“Cutie, don't go there. I don't- I don't know what you thinking but- but don't. Stay here, I've got you. Okay”
You nod as tears sting your cheek hot. Geordi moves his hands, engulfing you in a hug. His arms on your back, moving up and down. You focus on it, the feeling, the sound, focus on Geordi.
He's here.
He's holding us.
He's here.
Here.
Here.
Safe.
Home.
He's home.
He loves us.
Your eyes drift closed, exhausted, you let sleep take over, finally feeling safe enough to be vulnerable.
#angst#redacted angst#redacted asmr#redacted geordi#redacted cutie#geordi x cutie#tw paranoia#tw stalking#tw blo0d#tw intrusive thoughts#tw home invasion#tw implied violence#tw implied child abuse#tw implied homophobia#tw implied trauma#tw implied transphobia#tw breakdown#cw cursing#tw death#tw abandonment#Please read above for more tw info#Knowing is Safe
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i was just arguing with my neighbors grandpa abt trans ppl and im assuming i won bc he just kept repeating the same thing :p another day another win
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17: Someone you miss
Hm... honestly, even after all the arguments we had? My mom. It... hurts that she didn't understand what I was going through and why I was getting surgery. There have been times I wanted to contact her, but-
Hey Mils, come back ta me. We talked bout this, an' if she didn't approve a' you transitionin', of bein' who ya really felt like, then maybe she didn't really love ya.
I-... yeah. I know. I do. It's still just... hard.
I can only imagine.
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So I've been thinking of my own HLVRAI Joshua Freeman headcanon, and that ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That he's not actually Gordon's son, but his cousin who had moved to his house after being kicked out by Gordon's aunt and uncle's home. People just seem to think that they're father and son and it's become a running gag for the two of them at this point and they're so used to it that they joke about it, especially with Gordon saying something about Joshua being his baby or smth.
He also made a text to speech thing that's the cowboy robot thingy thinga and he annoys his cousin with it so imagine Joshua with a shit-eating grin on his face when he taps a random key on his computer's keyboard and a foghorn noise comes out of the speakers as you please.
(Also btw Joshua was kicked out of his house at 15-16 and he's currently 18 so it wasn't that long ago he was kicked out of his mother and father's house, and Gordon, his cousin, was the only person he could actually go to. ALSO also he has transmasc NB swag and a highschool dropout because this is MY Joshua and I get to make the headcanons.)
(PLEASE READ THE TW TAGS BTW THERES SOME LORE THERE.)
#tw child abandonment#tw abandonment#tw implied transphobia#joshua freeman#gordon feetman#hlvrai#hlvrbtaiisa#half live vr ai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#half life but the ai is self aware#half live vr but the ai is self aware#half life vr self aware ai#half life but the ai is sentient
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How do so many people just suddenly forget about gendered socialization as soon as they start talking about autism?
Motherfuckers who should absolutely know better will go on about "male autism" and "female autism" like "Wow, all these afab kids mask their autistic traits and repress their anger. It must be biology!"
Have y'all fucking tried being angry when people think you're a girl? Have you tried being a "difficult" or "disruptive" child when you're gendered that way?
We never got the "boys will be boys" excuse. We never got any god damn leeway.
We were just kids. What other fucking choice did we have than to learn to mask? What option did we have other than repressing our anger and hiding our traits from a hostile world?
Biology my ass!
#actually autistic#tw mysoginy#tw ableism#vent#autpunk#nuerodiversity#tw implied transphobia#tw implied trauma#vicposting
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“Runner” by Ace1diots
A poem about parents, change, and being trans
Every time you bring it up
You argue and you sway
You say I’m throwing
A precious gift away
But for me its something different
And I wont let you ruin my good day
I go to chill up stairs
And you drive your car away
I know it makes you sad
For me to be who I am
But I cant change things I cant change
And who I am is one of them
Does it feel safe?
For you to run?
Run from the responsibility
That I am now your son?
Does it bring you pain to know
I’ll never be who you thought I was
Or did you only want
That false identity
The mask that I put up
So that you would not see?
Layers and layers
Like an onion, you see?
Cutting will only make us both cry
So running will do we
Avoid the conversation
Avoid the tears
I’m not letting you ruin another good day
Not in a hundred years
I am who I am
Can’t you see?
You are you,
And I am me.
I’m not letting you ruin another good day
Not in a hundred years
So run away, run away
So no one sheds tears
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Aaaand character dev sketch for Quinn’s caretaker, Lynn
She’s older than the rest of his group, at about 50 (most except the middle right are younger her), and survived the apocalypse mostly due to good luck and ability to live mainly self-sufficiently. The apocalypse was caused by a new strain of Cordyceps mushrooms, so her mycology doctorate helped too lmao. She is pretty smart, but her main background as I show it here is her past as a drag Queen (at the time she thought she was a straight dude who just like fem stuff, but uh. Well. She figured her shit out pretty quick). The younger closeup was before she was independent from her shithead parents and had first gotten longer hair.
#whump#caretaker#art#my art#sketches#sketchbook page#queer artist#tw abuse mention#tw implied transphobia#drag queen#she’s so pretty I love her
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Human!Hunter Headcanons:
While living in Gravesfield he was a foster kid, frequently moved from home to home. Usually he’d get sent away for getting into fights or because he was just too much trouble for the foster parents.
Because his legal name is still his birth name he ends up getting a lot of deadnaming from his foster families. This led to a majority of fights.
He went to Gravesfield High School and was in his second year, but he keeps getting into a lot of trouble and is frequently written up or suspended from school often.
During one of his stints of homelessness/between foster homes, he ended up at an abandoned house where a white raven stole one of his books. He chased it through the portal door and met the Raven Lady. Eventually she took him in.
Hunter has numerous scars from either abusive homes or all the fights he’s been in. He is also somewhat prone to self harm and has several scars hidden by his hoodie. The scar on his face and a majority of his hand scars happened when one of his foster parents shoved him into a glass sliding door hard enough for it to shatter.
Relations to any characters in this verse are usually dependent on the blogs he interacts with. In some cases he’s taken in by Eda or Belos. In others he’s friends with Luz the Human or Luz the Witch.
He does end up going to Hexside, encouraged by Lilith (because she’s still a nerd) when Hunter expresses his want to learn magic. She knows there’s only so much she can teach him and is happy to get him enrolled.
#tw abuse#tw abuse mention#tw self harm#tw self harm mention#TW child abuse#tw childhood trauma#tw implied transphobia#tw injury mention#tw scars
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"my name" is not my name- a poem/vignette by me about deadnames and identity:
This, people tell me, is your name. It was given to you by your loving parents at your birth. I try to agree. This is my name, I tell myself. Just as this is my face and my voice and my skin.
“My name” isn't me. It is like wearing ill-fitting clothes. Sometimes, it is too loose; when people call me that it shows off how empty it really is. Sometimes, it is too tight, too constricting; when people call me that it cuts into my skin and my heart.
You shouldn’t feel this way, they say. You shouldn’t reject the first gift you received when entering this world. So I try to tailor it to my liking; to make it fit.
It doesn’t. It doesn’t and it hurts. I shouldn’t feel this way, I shouldn’t be this way. But I am.
A name can be priceless, and so incredibly meaningful to some. A name could be constricting, and wrong to others. I can’t let a single word tell me who I’m supposed to be; that who I am is wrong. “My name” is not my name. I accept that and find my real name. The word that fully fits me. And those who truly care for me understand that.
#i write sometimes#soup writes#trans#nonbinary#deadname#tw implied transphobia#writing#trans writers
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"...and I'll take off my trans shirt and put on a different one, since I'm gonna be alone."
Sad trans hours 😞
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i've grown tired of this body - fall apart without me body
【A/N: cross-posted from my ao3! if you enjoy this feel free to check out my other works and consider buying me a coffee maybe. :3
this one shot came out of the blue. as you can probably guess by now this is just one big vent one shot that started out just being me wanting to make a fic about trans!dipper dealing with his period while i was having to deal with mine and ended up spiraling into me projecting my own experiences with my parents being awful and transphobic onto sir dippingsauce here and imagining what'd it be like having a found family. tw ahead for some impled/references child abuse of the verbal kind, transphobia from dipper's a+ parents, some semi graphic descriptions of the fun times that come with menstruation and one use of the word queer. (it's not used in the context of bigotry, btw!) big shout out to anyone out there dealing with the red beast, to my fellow cisn't individuals who may deal with it. i hope life is kind to you, that you have some rad people you can turn to comfort or at least get to have some nice snacks during these trying times. 】
»»⋅------ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ---------►
The bus carrying him back to the forests of Oregon rattles and shakes as it makes track across the winding roads. By the second hour he's feeling a decent amount of claustrophobia, his legs wave back and forth with a need to get up and walk and a spring in the seat he was in had popped out and was just scratching at him enough that it made him want to scream.
And yet despite the minor discomforts, a sense of comfort washes over him when he sees the familiar towering pine trees slowly replace the long stretching plains in the window. It was a feeling that he'd sorely missed throughout the last ten months and was never more evident until he saw the green of those trees. By the time the old weathered sign passed by, proudly proclaiming 'Welcome to Gravity Falls', a full smile spreads across his face. One that he didn't need to look to know that his sister shared with him.
They were finally back in Gravity Falls.
They were finally home.
Ignoring the shouted reminder from the bus driver to wait until the bus had fully stopped, the mystery twin duo practically flew out of their seats and rushed off the bus with their suitcases in hand and - in Mabel's case - pet pig at their side. By the bus stop, sporting warm smiles, were their Grunkles Stan and Ford.
"Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford!" The twins had greeted them in near unison. The two opened their arms just in time for their niblings to practically tackle them in a big hug tight enough to make a few parts of Stan's back in particular pop courtesy of Mabel.
"Whoa whoa there kids, you tryin' to kill your old man?!" Protested the old con-man, though his own smile betrayed his joy to see the two. Eventually the group hug came to an end and Stan helped the twins put their luggage into the Stanleymobile.
"Welcome back, my boy." These words, spoken to Dipper in a gentle, caring tone, made a wave of emotion swell in his heart and he barely kept himself from crying right then and there as he replied,
"I'm glad to be back."
'My boy' he thinks with pride.
Because that's who he was here. In Gravity Falls he wasn't expected to be the quiet and polite little girl. Instead he was a beloved great nephew. He was a protecting twin brother. He was Dipper Pines and the sense of joy he feels when he thinks this brings some tears of relief to his eyes.
If Ford notices his sudden burst of emotion then he chooses not to comment on it to Dipper's relief, and Stan soon pipes up as they all pile into his old car.
"Alright, I don't know about you guys but I'm hungry enough to eat one of those multi-headed cows. Why don't we go back to the shack so I can make us some…"
"Stancakes?" Mabel guesses with a bright smile.
"That's right! And Mabel's helping me out this time since Ford's still banned from the kitchen."
"For cosmo's sake, Stanley, the last time I burnt anything was months ago!"
"Yeah, and I still have no idea how you managed to set the entire kitchen on fire just by pouring cereal!"
"Oooh, good thing I brought my special rainbow glitter!"
"Pumpkin, that glitter is edible, right?"
Dipper relaxed during the car ride home, comfortably letting himself get lost in the familiar family banter and, at least for the moment, letting himself drift off and forget about all the pain from Piedmont.
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Breakfast back at the Shack was, as expected with the Pines, a lively affair. Mabel, naturally, manages to make her own Stancakes into what Dipper could only describe as a rainbow colored death wish of syrup and sprinkles with perhaps some renments of pancakes in there but he couldn't tell for sure. The four of them conversed about stories from their time apart, from their grunkles tales of their sea-faring adventures to Mabel providing stories from school such as amusing misadventures and some extracurricular activities they had gotten into.
Dipper tried to chime in as well, though he was somewhat distracted by a dull ache that had come up occassionally over the past few days. Radiating from his lower stomach area, it made it hard for Dipper to focus and he could barely manage to eat more than a single pancake despite having not eating anything that morning.
At one point he catches Ford giving him a look of concern but he simply waves him off, mouthing a silent 'I'm fine' to him.
Not long after breakfast was finished the twins took to their old room in the Mystery Shack's attic to unpack as their great uncle's assured them they could handle the dishes on their own.
"Hey, Dipper…?" Mabel's words, spoken in a tone unusually soft for the bubbly girl, break through the silence in the attic. "Don't you think we should tell Stan and Ford what ha-?"
"No." He quickly cuts in, harsher than he meant to and he immediately feels guilty but he doesn't doesn't doesn't want to think about Piedmont yet. "I just… I'm not ready… I just want to be Dipper a little longer…" The last part was barely above a whisper but still cuts through the silent attic like a shotgun blast.
"You are Dipper. To me, and to Ford and Stan. Nothing will ever make then treat you otherwise." The words 'unlike mom and dad' hang in the air, unsaid but understood by both twins. He wants to believe her, wants to trust that he'll always be seen as their great nephew but the echoing words of their parents make him falter.
"I will tell them, just…" He takes a deep, shaky breath. "…just not yet."
A beat passes and he almost expects Mabel to tell him that he should know by now to trust family, to tell him that honesty was the best policy and that he won't have to feel this weight on his chest if he just opened up to them.
"That's alright, just tell them when you're ready." She said instead.
The guilt remains.
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The dawn of what Mabel has dubbed their first official day of summer begins with the dull ache from before now returning as the sharp pain of many needles as well as an unwelcome crimson visitor.
And while Dipper had expected to have to deal with good old shark week after the pseudo-cramps he'd been feeling for the last few days it still never made the day it finally started any less difficult. As if he hadn't had a hard enough time with dysphoria before returning to Gravity Falls the world seemed to have it out for Dipper with a wholly unwanted visitor would add insult to injury.
But, after some extra time cleaning himself in the bathroom, he resolves to push away the pain and stress and makes his way down the creaky stairs of the Shack in a slow and shaky manner…
..and is immediately greeted by the distinct smell of smoke. Confused and maybe a little bit panicked, he follows the scent to the kitchen where he discovers the source; a pan of half charred yet somehow also half raw eggs. Holding the pan was Mabel, unsuccessfully trying to salvage the mess with Stan standing by. By Dipper's guess he was trying to teach Mabel to cook with… mixed results. Smiling at the duo's antics, he takes a seat at the table where he spots his great uncle Ford, nursing a cup of coffee and seemingly entirely unbothered by the disaster that is Stan's cooking lesson.
"Good morning, my boy." He greets Dipper with a kind smile, and the gender euphoria of being called 'my boy' is almost enough to make him forget about his current pain and discomfort. Keyword: almost. Seeming to notice this, Ford furrows his brows in a concerned manner. "Are you feeling quite alright, Dipper? You look pale?"
"Oh, uh, I'm fine, Grunkle Ford, just tired is all…" He lied, forcing himself to pick up and bite into an apple despite how little he wanted to eat just to further prove he was alright. As he robotically chews into the apple Ford continues talking.
"Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to accompany me on a little walk to check on the forests around here, but if you're not feeling well…"
"Nononononono! We can go for a walk!" He quickly cuts in to Ford's owlish surprise. As much as he - in his current state of mild to extreme pain - wanted to spend the day in bed reading, the idea of being alone in the attic felt awful. Even if the cramps would kill him, he really wants to spend more time with his great uncle.
"Alright then, we can go after breakfast if that's alright with you?" Dipper forces his pain away to smile back to Ford.
"Y-yeah! Sounds great, I'll go grab my shoes."
And so Ford watched his great nephew run out of the kitchen, and he frowns at the barely eaten apple as a sense of growing worry settles in his gut.
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The Gravity Falls forests were always a beauty to be able to behold. From the fantastical sorts of creatures and flora that called the woodland their home to even the more mundane sorts of plants and animals that shared the forest with the strange. This morning was no different as the sunlight filtered through the treetops above lit the forest in a soft light that made the whole place feel nothing short of enchanting.
Ford lead the way through the forest, chattering casually about the different points of interest and pointing out some of the newer pieces of intrigue that he thinks his great nephew will enjoy. And as hard as Dipper tries to focus on following and nodding along he can barely concentrate on his great uncle's words through the haze of pain he was drowning in.
After a few minutes of this that feel more like hours, Ford comes to a stop and looks back to Dipper, a frown speaking to deep worry on his face.
"Dipper, are you absolutely sure you're alright? You know you can tell me if you're ever hurt or sick, right?" Dipper had to near bite on the inside of his mouth to keep himself together. The genuine care his great uncle was showing him combined with the guilt he felt at ruining their walk on top of the pain that was still radiating through him made it hard to hold back the tears.
He wants to tell Ford that he was fine, maybe blame it on sleepiness again and keep walking, but a particularly sharp stabbing feeling hits and all he can do is lean pathetically against a nearby tree, trying to breathe through the sudden pain.
"Dipper! You need to tell me what's…" His great uncle's shout of alarm slowly trails off and it wasn't too long until the realization of why fills Dipper with pure shame. Running down his legs were bright red trails of his period blood.
He wants to disappear. He wants nothing more than a spontaneous bottomless pit to form underneath him and take him away right then and there. Unfortunately for him no such pits appear and he can only settle for locking his gaze onto the forest floor. Despite having outgrown the hero worship he held for his great uncle that fateful summer, Ford was still someone he held high respect and admiration for. And now that he's seen Dipper in such an embarrassing position - bleeding on himself in the middle of the woods - he doesn't know if he can ever face him again. He could only imagine the look of disappointment, disgust even.
His thoughts of self-loathing are cut off by a hand laid on his shoulder.
"Dipper, please look at me. I'm not mad at you, I just need you to tell me what's wrong." His great uncle's voice oddly seems to hold none of the disappointment or disgust he had expected. He chances a look up and Ford's expression was not one of frustration but one of a deep concern but also a look of knowing.
"It's… a lot to explain… can we go back to the Shack first?" He curses the way his voice wobbles as he voices this but Ford doesn't seem to mind, only nodding before helping him walk the short way back. No other words are exchanged on the way back and Dipper is quick to duck into the bathroom to clean himself up. A quick shower later and he leaves the bathroom to find a bottle of pain medication left on a nearby table along with a glass of water. A brief smile crosses Dipper's face as he can easily guess who left the items.
Soon enough the four Pines were all brought together in the kitchen as Dipper prepared for another difficult conversation, inwardly praying to a god he didn't believe in for things to go better the second time around.
"…My name wasn't always Dipper…" He slowly began, trying to relax his tense shoulders. "Growing up, I always felt like there was something wrong about me. I hated being called by my birthname, hated being called a girl. My parents would tell me that all girls feel that way, but it was more than that. Eventually I start to realize that I maybe wasn't a girl at all…" He chances a look back up at Stan and Ford to see their reactions. A part of him expected to see judgement but instead the two of them are attentive, waiting for Dipper to continue. Feeling a boost of confidence from this, he speaks again.
"I ended up discovering the term transgender, and right then I felt like things suddenly started to make sense. The way I've been feeling, the way I saw myself… and when my parents told me and Mabel that we were going to be going to visit a new town full of new people for the summer, I realized that was the perfect chance for me to try out being a boy for the first time. And that summer ended up being the first time in my life I felt like I was able to be myself." Just thinking about that first magical summer brought a smile to Dipper's face. He remembers the way his hands shook when he first introduces himself as Dipper. As Mabel's twin brother. Remembers the trials and tribulations he went through the summer, and yet despite it all he truly felt like he'd grown into a proud young man by the end of it all.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner…" He finally says as he finishes his explanation. For a moment, the two older men seem to take this in before Stan speaks up.
"I'm glad you feel safe enough to tell us, kid, although I kinda knew you were trans already."
"Wait, you knew?!" Dipper shouts before he can stop himself. He suddenly starts to panic, wondering if he hadn't really passed as well as he thought he did. Stan quickly puts his hands up and puts his fears to rest as he adds in,
"I mean I was there when you two goobers were born! I'm not a spring chicken, Dipper. I've had my fair share of experiences with the gays and the queers. When you two got off the bus and you were introducing yourself as Mabel's twin brother Dipper, I thought to myself 'As long as the kid's happy, good on him!'"
"The concept of gender is, frankly, one that is much closer to a spectrum than most people realize. There are plenty of dimensions out there where gender is explored much more than here, for example I've been to one dimension where gender was traded with and bartered like a sort of currency!"
"What my nerd brother is trying to say," Stan finally cuts in, knowing Ford was likely to go on a full hour long tangent otherwise. "is that he's happy you felt safe enough to tell the both of us."
"Yes, of course, my boy!" A bright smile is spread across Dipper's face, the acceptance given from both his great uncles filling him with relief.
"See, Dipper? I just knew that our grunkles wouldn't have treated you like mom and dad did." His sister chimes in with her own knowing smile. Ford, however, quickly catches onto what she said.
"What do you mean 'like mom and dad', Mabel? Did your parents not take it well?" His question, although asked with no ill intentions, has the immediate effect of making both of the twin's moods fall. While Dipper shrinks in on himself, Mabel adopts a look of frustration and lets out a huff.
"Mom and dad are poopheads!" Ford and Stan both frown. That certainly didn't sound good. After a moment, Dipper speaks up.
"I… I hadn't told them about the whole 'being transgender' think before going to Gravity Falls. I was still just trying to figure it all out back then. Of course, they catch onto the new name I was using here. Not too long after me and Mabel came back they start questioning me about what was going on. Why I was hiding things from them…" He remembers that day all too well. Of being cornered with questions and not being able to rely on Mabel because she had been out with friends at the time. "I tried to explain to them how much happier I had been bit they wouldn't listen. They kept saying how their 'poor sweet daughter must have been brainwashed' and that 'it's just a phase you'll grow out of'…" Dipper then trailed off, his voice shaking more as he becomes more choked up. Mabel quickly scoots her chair closer, letting her brother lean on her for comfort.
"We hoped that they would end up coming around but they wouldn't even try to understand him. They kept using the wrong name and pronouns for him no matter how much we tried to correct them or ask them not to!" She angrily adds in. "One day they even told him that he should be grateful that he hadn't been thrown out!"
Knowing how unaccepted and uncared for their beloved nephew had been in the last ten months was already deeply troubling for Stan and Ford, but hearing these especially cruel words hit the two far too close to home. The hopes they had that Dipper and Mabel would at least have the caring and safe home that they never got were dashed, and they share a look of regret before turning to look at their niblings.
"Dipper, I… I'm so sorry your parents have been treating you like this. I had no idea."
"You're not going to send us back, are you?" Dipper asks quietly. At their great uncle's looks of confusion, Mabel explains.
"We… kind of didn't tell them we were visiting…" She admits as she diverts her eyes sheepishly.
"They tried to forbid us from coming back this summer, saying how this town 'corrupted me'," Her brother explains with air quotations and an eye roll. "So we both combined our allowances and bought some bus tickets without telling them." There it was.
This was certainly a difficult situation. It was only a matter of time before the twins' parents figured out where they went off too, and once they figured out that they were staying with Stan and Ford they would naturally demand they bring them straight back to California. And trying to keep them away could result in some legal trouble being sent their way.
And yet both Stanley and Stanford, unfortunately, had some personal experiences with being forced to hide who you were. Memories of hiding love letters, of repressing their true selves for fear of their old fashioned father finding out, and they refused to make their poor nephew suffer through the same type of hell. And thankfully, they had a whole town of people who would be willing to help them.
"Well there's no way I'm going to pay to be sending you dorks back, so it looks like you're stuck here." Stan declared gruffly, although it was obvious enough that he wanted his niblings to be at Gravity Falls just as much as the two of them wanted to be there.
"Dipper, in the time I've been back in this dimension I've seen you as nothing less than a brave and strong young man. And if your parents are too blinded by their own narrow-minded beliefs to see that, too, than at least know that you'll always be our amazing grandnephew." By now, Dipper was crying in earnest. Not the tears of frustration or sorrow that he had experienced all too often in Piedmont but tears of pure happiness. Stan and Ford both stand up and go to give their great nephew a hug.
"By the way, Dipper," Ford says after the hug ends. "I forgot to ask but did those pain meds I give you help.
"Oh, honestly I hadn't really thought about my cramps for a while, but now that I think about it they're much better. Thanks." Ford simply smiles.
"Don't mention it, my boy. It's the least I can do."
"If your cramps come back I probably got a heating pad somewhere in this place. Used it whenever my back hurt worse than usual." Stan chimes in.
"I heard there's going to be a cheesy movie marathon starting in a bit! Maybe we can grab some snacks, relax around Stan's chair and watch?" Dipper smiles at his sister's suggestion, feeling his appetite come back now that the worst of his pain was taken care of.
"Sounds good to me."
And so that's how the Pines family found themselves all settled around the living room, Dipper lounging comfortably on Stan's chair and Mabel settled on the floor while Stan and Ford sat leaned against the chair. While Ford and Dipper would take turns in pointing out the inaccuracies of the monster movies, ("Please, a tiny splinter like that would never take out that powerful of a vampire.") Stanley would more often make jokes about the cheesy effects ("Pshh, I could put together taxidermy parts that look more realistic than those werewolves!") and Mabel was happy to just happy to comment on dreamy actors and things she thought were cute. ("Aw, it's too bad that bat had to get shot, it was so adorable!") At one point Stan and Ford playfully argue over who would be able to defeat the most zombies which then devolves into the two throwing popcorn at each other.
And all the while a single thought stays in Dipper's head, bringing a sense of comfort with it: "I'm finally home."
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#gravity falls#hurt dipper pines#dipper pines angst#pines family#dipper and ford bonding#ventfic#tw menstruation#tw implied child abuse#tw implied transphobia#mutt's writing
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Transgenders want evil things like to live a happy life and not be harassed
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Honestly sad how openly obsessed my parents’ pastor is about other people’s genitals.
Sir you are married.
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playing dressup in the garbage !! unfortunately Splinter found out and, after laughing at him, sat Leo down to explain that he shouldn't wear that kind of thing :')
#nnstuff#nnart#tmnt leo#tmnt splinter#transphobia tw#<- i mean its more implied than anything else but yea#teenage mutant neglected turtles#neglected art
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my coworkers are being turbo transphobic and literally refuse to listen to answers to questions they fucking ask argh!!! I can just tell you!!! I can just answer you!!!!! I have answers!!! to the ridiculous questions you ask in a mocking way!!!! if you listen for one second I can just fucking explain!!!! 😡😭😡😭
#they ask why would trans men NEED tampons for men since they are WOMEN why cant they juat use WOMEN ones those stupid silly women ugh#they keep coming back to the topic#and im like hey they are not women ^_^ and try to explain the concept#in easy kindergarten terms like hey you know how you wouldnt want to buy pink girly items because you are a (cis) guy! well#and them im cut off with more transphobic shit before i can say anything else#my coworker literally said her son told her and her husband they were playing spin the bottle on a school trip#and she asked so did you kiss any girls? and he said#sure when it landed on a girl then i kissed a girl (implying he also kissed guys)#and she said her husband was so shocked because hes conservative#while she said she just ordered the son not to say anything else#and she tells us 'i think he was just testing us or something'#wtf. i said well okay maybe he was testing your reactions and now hes not gonna tell you shit anymore#and she went like hm 🤔#also the irony of saying her HUSBAND is conservative while she fucking. misgenders trans men all day and jokes about gay men constantly#in a nasty way#all of them do#im so tired#she complained kids nowadays are so caaual about gay people#and i said okay well i love it personally they should keep it up#and NO ONE at the table supported/agreed with me#sorry i am on a work trip and suffering#transphobia tw#neri stfu
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