#tw health anxiety | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honeyhhearted · 9 months

Text

Sweet Dreams

Read on AO3

Warnings: Health Anxiety, Depression, Mentions of Illness (No one is sick, reader just suffers from severe anxiety)

Relationship: Loki/Reader

Summary:

You can't sleep (again).

You're afraid of burdening Loki, so you try to face it alone, when he catches you on one of your sleepless nights.

A/N:

Another fluff short for you <3

I personally really struggle with health anxiety/mild hypochondria, so this one is partially for me too.

You couldn’t sleep again.

When you got out of bed, eyes stinging, neck aching, you sighed to yourself. You hadn’t been able to get any sleep for the last few weeks. Nights spent staring into your phone until 3AM, watching the sun rise and dragging yourself out of bed every day were starting to wear you down. You were sluggish, shoulders drooping, dark circles beneath your eyes.

The sounds of the night kept you company.

You padded quietly down the hallway, doing your best not to wake Loki. You didn’t want to worry him. Part of you knew that you should tell him. He could probably help you, you thought. But something in you tightened at the thought of inconveniencing him. He had a difficult enough time sleeping as it is, without you waking him in the dead of night. You didn’t want to become a burden more than you already were.

Night time was when anxiety plagued you the worst. Its spindly tendrils wrapped themselves around your chest, squeezing every time you dared to close your eyes. What if someone broke in, and you couldn’t stop them? What if they hurt you? What if they hurt him?

Every ache and pain in your body scared you. Sometimes it felt like you were afraid of yourself. You couldn’t let yourself sleep out of fear that you just…wouldn’t wake up. You couldn’t sleep beside Loki without worrying that the usually comforting sound of his even breaths would stop in the middle of the night.

During the day, he would catch you staring too long at a bruise, a scratch. Logically you knew where it would come from. You were incredibly clumsy, prone to bumping into things constantly. But when you could see it, when you stared at the lumps and bumps on your body long enough, you could convince yourself otherwise. Those were the moments he would comfort you, waving a hand over you before telling you, for the eighth time that day, that you were fine.

“Sweetling,” He would say, gently every time, “I promise that you are in good health. What is worrying you so much?”

You always felt a rush of shame. He was so patient, so kind to you, even on the days where he’d have to tell you ten, twelve, times, and his brow would furrow and lips would purse at your fear.

“I’m sorry,” You whispered back. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

So, you stayed awake. Tossing and turning in bed until he drifted off to sleep beside you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling until your eyes burned and your battery drained. Then you’d get up at 3AM, like clockwork. You’d walk through your home, listening to the soft sounds of crickets outside. You’d sit in the kitchen, coffee prepared in the fridge in advance so the sounds of you rustling around wouldn’t wake Loki.

You sighed. Your head throbbed constantly from exhaustion, and your hands shook. As you sat, sipping your coffee, you felt your eyes begin to water. You were so tired.

It was beginning to take a mental toll on you, the lack of sleep. You were more irritable, snapping at Loki over what you used to laugh about. You knew he deserved better, and you hated yourself when you saw the confusion in his eyes at your poor moods. You just felt so terrible, all the time, and you didn’t know what to do anymore.

Some days, you considered just leaving. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, and you didn’t want to keep dragging him down with you. But the thought of doing so made your stomach clench. So, selfishly, you stayed.

Thor had recommended you see someone. You knew you should. But you just…couldn’t. He approached you hesitantly, some weeks ago, the way someone would a feral animal. He looked so uncomfortable it almost made you laugh to think about, as it was such an out of place look on him.

“I don’t mean to overstep,” he said, awkwardly, “But, sister, are you well? You have been looking…I apologize for my bluntness, overtired. You do not seem physically ill. Has something happened?”

You smiled at him, heart warming at his care for you. The two of you had always been close, but had grown even closer when you started dating his brother. He treated you like a sister, protective and sweet. Your smile faded quickly, though, at his question. You didn’t want to get into it, not when you knew he’d likely tell Loki. You didn’t want to make either of them worry about you - at least not more than they clearly already were.

“I’m okay, Thor, it’s just…I’m just in my own head, I think. That’s all.” Was what you came up with.

He didn’t seem to believe you, but didn’t push it. You were thankful for that. “If you say so. Might I recommend those Midgardian mind healers? Jane regularly attends one.” He looked sheepish. “Don’t tell her I told you. But, I believe it is for moments when you are ‘in your own head’, as you put it.”

You sighed. “I know. I’ll think about it.”

That was weeks ago. You had a tab open to Google, the search “therapists near me” opened on it. It taunted you, most nights. You couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“Darling?” A raspy, sleep-filled voice came from behind you. You whipped around, trying to blink away your tears. Loki stood in the entryway to the kitchen, eyes bleary as he looked at you. He was paler than normal, a frown firmly pasted on his face. Your heart thumped. Even half awake, you still found him so beautiful.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” You asked, making your way over to him.

He wrapped his arms around you, breathing you in. You felt your shoulders relax. He always made you feel better, the familiar scent of spice and pine surrounding you as you listened to the strong sound of his heart.

“I woke, and you were not there.” He said. “I dreamt you were gone, and when I woke, you were.”

Guilt squeezed your stomach. Loki’s nightmares were not frequent, but when he had them they would typically revolve around you. You hurt, missing, dead…those nights were the ones he woke, a horrified noise ripping its way out of his throat, his hands shaking, skin pale. He always reached for you, hugging you to him like a lifeline. You felt terrible that you were not there for him.

“I’m so sorry, honey,” You said, your voice muffled into his chest.

“Why are you out here? It is late.” He pressed a kiss to your head before leaning back to look at you.

You hesitated. “I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“I…didn’t want to bother you.” You bit your lip, looking down.

“My love.” His voice was stern, yet gentle. “You are never bothering me. Do you hear me? If you need me, I am here. Always.” He paused, taking in your haggard appearance. “How long has this been happening?”

Tears welled in your eyes. Guilt and shame stabbed through your throat as a sob burst out of you. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” You sobbed, fisting his shirt in your hands. “I didn’t want to worry you, or burden you, or make you take care of me-” You inhaled sharply, the pain in your head worsening as you cried. “I just don’t feel good and I’m scared, please don’t be mad at me I’m sorry I didn’t mean to lie to you -” Loki shushed you, cradling your head to his chest as your whole body quivered.

“My love, my love,” He said to you, rocking slightly. “I am so sorry you have dealt with this alone. I am sorry I did not notice sooner. I am not mad, I could never be mad at you for doing what you thought was a good thing. You are not a burden, darling, you never have been a burden. It is an honor and a privilege to take care of you every day. Every day I spend making you happy is the greatest thing I can do.”

You sobbed harder, squeezing him. “I just - I didn’t want to become a chore, I didn’t want you to resent me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m just so tired.”

He shushed you again, softly, before lifting you in his arms. He pressed a kiss to your forehead as he walked you both back to your bedroom.

He laid you in bed gently before summoning a glass of water for you, placing it on your bedside table, and crawling under the covers. He held you as you calmed yourself, pressing kisses all over your face and whispering gentle affirmations to you. He wiped your tears with a sweet softness, massaged your scalp in a way you’d always found comforting, kissed your fingertips. When you caught your breath, you looked up at him through wet eyelashes.

“I think I need to talk to someone.” You said.

He smiled sadly at you. “Thor told me that he recommended a mind healer for you. They are called therapists on Midgard, yes?”

You nodded. “I was too scared to go.”

He kissed the tip of your nose. “I will be with you every step of the way, my sweet love. There is nothing to be afraid of, and if there is, I will be with you.”

You pressed yourself close to him, burying your head into his cool neck as his arms circled you.

“I love you, Loki,” you said quietly.

“And I love you, so much,” He replied.

He began to sing to you, an Asgardian lullaby you had heard many times, but never deciphered. The rhythmic motion of his hands running up and down your back soothed you, as your eyes drooped and you finally drifted off to sleep.

It was the sweetest sleep you’d had in weeks.

#fanfiction #Loki Laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki x reader #loki/reader #loki fluff #emotional hurt/comfort #tw health anxiety #health anxiety #hypochondria #tw anxiety #tw depression #nightmares #one shot #angsty fluff

439 notes · View notes

yandere--stuck · 1 year

Text

Yandere!Joker x Hypochondriac!Reader Headcanons

💜 Admittedly, Joker doesn't understand your fears, at first. For one, Joker has been victim to (and occasional creator of) so many conditions, illnesses, and maladies that he can hardly remember them all. And being in a constant state of being sick in the head takes a bit of the novelty away from being ill. Joker's met his fair share of germaphobes in his time, too. Usually he finds such fear of germs funny, but seeing it concern you so greatly takes the humor out of the situation. But hey, easy fix, right? He'll just ask his boys to fetch some hand sanitizer and it'll be all good.

💚 After witnessing you begin to spiral and break down over your worries after he had failed to take your fears as seriously as they should, Joker realizes that his initial assumption had been horribly wrong. This was far from normal germaphobia. This was serious! And serious problems required serious solutions - unfortunately. So, sorry, sweetheart, but you've been permanently barred from access to any medical texts. This is for the best, he promises! C'mon, the more you know, the more you'll worry. Take your mind off it by watching some cartoons with him!

💜 May use your requests for reassurance as a means for manipulation. And by may, he means absolutely will. You're just so cute clinging to him and begging him to tell him you're alright! In those moments, it feels like the whole world could be falling apart, and as long as he reassured you that it wasn't and that everything was okay, you'd believe it. It was a little bit addicting if he were being honest. He'd hold you in his arms and caress your face, assuring you that you were fine, you were normal, you were the furthest thing from I'll and he'd protect you from anything that could hurt you - and if you don't think he'd try to wipe out an illness just for you, then you're sorely mistaken!

💚 If you're concerned that you're already under the effects of an illness and are in extreme panic, Joker doesn't think twice about kidnapping Gotham's finest doctors in order to look you over and do a check up to make sure everything's okay. Joker will hold your hand and stick by your side the entire time to make sure you're as comfortable and at ease as you can be… All the while, the doctors are being held up by his men and Joker's hissing out threats if they do anything to upset or scare you.

💜 Joker's never been one to forgo cleanliness, but that's not to see he's always had his hideouts squeaky-clean. This, however, is completely changed around in order to quell your fears. Joker now has stocks of sanitizers, gloves, masks, and all sorts of cleaning products. Unfortunately for his goons, though, he's rather lazy, and the job of cleaning and keeping things sanitized is usually offloaded onto them. If they fail to keep things clean enough, the Clown will go into a rage and make them dance as he fires a gun at their feet and then force them to clean up the mess 'they' made. Honestly, getting good help these day was so hard.

💚 If there's one thing Joker knows, it's that laughter is the best medicine. If he finds you ruminating, he'll immediately go into a routine he'd been thinking up that he's sure will leave you breathless with laughter until you've forgotten all about your worries. He loves you laugh and he loves when you're carefree and happy. And after he'll talk to you for hours and hours, absolutely smitten and grateful that he could help you through, even if only a little bit.

224 notes · View notes

dreamsclock · 9 months

Text

strums a nonexistent guitar because well actually i DO have a guitar but i can’t play it my health is fucked and so is my back and chest and also my liver function, apparently, and maybe i have scurvy. strums a guitar. a different one from before. this one holds a melancholic blue tint to its strings

#tw health anxiety #tw medical

26 notes · View notes

sanicsmut · 27 days

Text

Anxiety attack with symptoms I've bever hzd before (feels like im gonna die and havinr heart zgtack even if its probably nothing)

#tw health anxiety #health anxiety #anxiety #anxiety attack #panic attack #heart attack #tw heart attack

3 notes · View notes

amorphousgenderlesscryptid · 1 year

Text

I generally don’t post personal things online as a rule, but, I really feel the need for a shout into the void right now. TW for health issues for the rest of this (very long) post.

For nearly 2 weeks now, I’ve been suffering from some mystery malady. It came out of nowhere and has not left me alone since. Headaches, random pains in strange places, vision problems, dizziness, brain fog. Some days are better than others, but I have yet to go 24 hours without at least one symptom popping up. I’ve been to urgent care twice, and the ER twice. The most likely diagnosis is a combination of migraines and extreme stress, but it’s difficult to be a hundred percent certain. Painkillers help with the headaches, but no amount of food, sleep, or water seems to be helping the rest.

This is kind of the worst time in modern history to have some mystery condition that needs lots of tests to rule things out. Every hospital and medical center is backed up with cases. All of the medical professionals who have seen me have been so kind and reassuring, but they just don’t have the time and resources to set aside for figuring out what this is quickly. Which is where my anxiety disorder comes in.

Despite every doctor I’ve seen telling me that whatever is going on, it’s not dangerous, I still spend every day in a panic, certain I’m going to drop dead any second. This is the worst anxiety I’ve ever had in my life and it’s making me miserable. I’m terrified to be alone in case something happens. I’m terrified to get out of bed in case moving triggers something. I haven’t been eating enough, sleeping enough, showering, cleaning my apartment.

At the same time, I’ve been surrounded by so much love in the last couple weeks. Friends let me sleep at their apartments so I won’t have to be alone. Doctors and nurses are kind and don’t dismiss my anxieties. My psychiatrist and therapist pick up the phone whenever I call. My best friend texts me every day to check on me, and my D&D group checks on me daily to make sure I’m drinking enough water. My friends at church pray for me. My fandom friends send words of encouragement. My parents keep in touch all day long, and my mother has just gotten an AirBnB nearby so she can take care of me. As scary as everything is at the moment, I’m so so lucky to be surrounded by so much love and kindness.

There isn’t really a point to posting this, besides getting things off my chest. I guess maybe just to appreciate how wonderful people can be, and to say treasure all your good days because you never know when bad ones are coming. I am 99.9% sure that I’m going to be just fine in the long run, so I just have to hang in there till then.

#personal #tw health issues #tw health anxiety #tw hypochondria

19 notes · View notes

cloverstellar · 9 months

Text

so, I just got a follow from someone who’s whole blog was dedicated to reblogging photos of people who were so thin you can count their ribs and see the bumps in their spines (I could, through their shirts) and had zero muscle mass, and all the posts were saying things in the tags along the lines of, “WOW, can’t wait to be this healthy!!” And “stop eating to lose weight!!”

dear everyone everywhere I PROMISE you being skinny enough to count your ribs and bumps in your spine is NOT HEALTHY in any way shape or form!!!!

if this is your genuine view of “peak health” I promise you it’s not. you have been lied to. becoming so thin you can see bones because you believe it’s genuinely the healthiest you can be is an incredibly mislead idea and can lead you to really bad health problems and make you incredibly prone to illness.

it’s one thing to want to be thin/lean, or work out to gain strength… but being skin and bones means you are actually actively starving yourself. your muscles will atrophy because of a lack of nutrition, and your organs and immune system will be in so much strain they may even fail on you! not good!! that is a one-way ticket to hospitalville.

stay safe, stay hydrated, and eat everyone!!! snacks, your favorite comfort food, fast food, anything! I cannot stress that enough!! ily all 🫶

#having weight in fat is HEALTHY!!!#being skin and bones is NOT!!!#tw food talk #tw health anxiety #tw food issues #rose talks

3 notes · View notes

levmada · 7 months

Text

ykkkkkkkkik anxiety is bad when you start to have an anxiety attack when you get it into your head that a spider bit you, your foot will need to be amputated before the venom spreads and you get necrosis or SOMETHING

when in fact your foot was a lil bit itchy and after some lotion it’s ok now

#and what is the reason #🤷🏻#tw health anxiety #tw hypochondria #tw spiders #tw anxiety #just in case

4 notes · View notes

potentially-lemongrass · 8 months

Text

quick ramble real fast. i've been struggling with a ton of health anxiety lately and I always feel like something is physically wrong with me (there's also been a legit amount of physical problems this past year :/ and I've been going to the doctor a lot). mostly it's just been a lot of crushing anxiety about my eventual impending death and also the eventual impending deaths of all my loved ones so ¯_(ツ)_/¯. often I end up wishing that I just didn't have a body so I didn't have to deal with this anxiety/potential for problems (both physical and mental) all the time BUT I realized today that i appreciate the emphasis on physical bodies in lds beliefs. Heavenly Mother and Heavenly Father are perfect Divine beings and They have perfect physical bodies, so my body is important and good and necessary. Jesus was resurrected with His scars and so that gives me hope that a body that could be considered "imperfect" is still valuable and good. one day, I'll have a perfect physical body too just like my Parents but in the meantime, i have to keep practicing being patient and brave when it comes to the body i have right now. that's hard and scary and sucky and i don't want to do it but that's what's been asked of me and I'm going to do my best

#tw death #tw health #tw health anxiety #tw hypochondria #ryn speaks #tumblrstake #idk if this makes sense but i'm trying to put a positive spin on things #i'm sick and tired of all my physical and mental health issues!! i want them to stop!! right now!!! forever!!#but i gotta keep figuring this out so yeah :l #this is hard but i've done hard things in my life and I can do hard things again

3 notes · View notes

shadowthestoryteller · 2 years

Text

Hey guys. I’m gonna be absent for a bit, having a bit of a health scare right now and not sure what it is so my health anxiety is having a field day. Not sure when I’ll be back, but just wanted to let y’all know instead of dropping off the face of the planet.

Thanks,

A rather sick Shadow

- Small note, please don’t message me asking what it is/giving suggestions of what it is. My brain is overactive right now and I’m trying to distract myself from it

#maybe it’s my period being astronomically terrible #maybe it’s COVID #maybe it’s a heart attack #maybe it’s just straight anxiety #tho i tried to throw up earlier sooooo #not sure #didn’t have anything to puke up so I didn’t actually vomit #tw health #tw health anxiety #tw heart problems #tw heart attack

22 notes · View notes

ghosttownwherenoonegoes · 1 year

Text

Been pulling lots of hours at work due to staff sickness/covid outbreak (I'm testing every day and negative so far and following all procedures) so I'm literally three weeks behind my uni work, and the first assignment is due in two weeks and we're meant to start on it today but I can't start it 'til I catch up with my work and from tomorrow I'm working six days in a row as well as fighting to catch up with uni and I'm tired and stressed and it's taken me literally twenty minutes to fingercomb one side of my hair, let alone combing, brushing and then braiding it for bed and I'm thinking of cutting it all off so seriously I'm also crying (my hair is my baby - think Eddie's guitar) and I'm stressed and tired and I want Eddie😭😭😭😭

#tw covid #tw venting #tw health anxiety #tw eri is whining again

18 notes · View notes

ajokeformur-ray · 1 year

Text

The world has left me behind.

I still mask when I go into shops. I double mask when I’m going to a densely populated area. I mask outside if there are people around. I always mask inside. At work, the mask mandate has been lifted for over a week but I still mask even though I’m the only one across all departments who does. Co-workers thought I was sick and doing it to protect them but they’re wrong. I’m not sick and I’m doing it to protect me because I don’t trust people (at a glance I can’t tell if they do or don’t have covid so therefore they’re a potential risk) and the risks of covid and long covid just aren’t worth that risk.

I don’t care if people mask or don’t mask, that’s up to them. All I know is that masks are 98% effective (my favoured brand is; the effectiveness varies across brand, material and type of mask) and I have never once had covid or been sick with anything since March 2020 and I KNOW that’s bad for my immune system, I really do, I worry about what it’s doing to me, to never let myself be exposed to bacteria, but I can’t help it. Covid still absolutely fucking terrifies me and I still actively avoid social situations with family, with my coworkers, and any situation in which I would be unmasked. I sat on a twelve hour flight and didn’t unmask once, not even to eat or drink, because I’m always terrified that the one time I unmask publicly is the one time I catch covid. I don’t know where you’ve been. I don’t know who you’ve been around or who they’ve been around, I don’t know if you’re vaccinated or unvaccinated or if you’ve been exposed recently or if you’re an asymptomatic carrier.

I don’t know.

But what I do know and trust in is that I’ve always masked or double masked since March 2020, masks are 98% effective, and I’ve never had covid, even when everyone in my house did except for me. Masks have greatly helped to keep me safe and so I’ll keep using them. They feel as secure to me as wearing a bra does and I’d feel just as wrong and unsafe if I wasn’t wearing one outside the house. Inside the house is fair game, the bra and mask are off, but outside? Everyone could potentially have covid even if they say they don’t and I don’t trust it, but I trust the masks. It’s the shield between me and the world.

When I have dared to take my mask off, I have been quick to put it back on to quell the rising panic or for weeks after, any sneeze or cough or sniffle sends me into an anxiety attack and I’ll test myself for covid twice a day for a week until I’m sure I don’t have covid. ‘Is it covid or hayfever?’ is not a fun game to play daily in the summer. For the sake of my sanity, the masks stay on. People tell me I’m over dramatic, silly, “just let yourself catch it and get it over with”, or they minimise my fears, but I won’t back down.

It. Isn’t. Worth. It.

And if the world has left me behind in this, then that’s okay. I’m happy here. I feel safe.

I had health anxieties like this way before covid, ever since I can remember I’ve had this kind of cognition about sickness, but covid is the first pandemic that I can remember actively participating in fearing and helping to stop, and so my health anxiety has tipped into germophobia and been made so much worse.

#tw covid #tw health anxiety

15 notes · View notes