#trying to do. and failing at. well actually ive been studying so i think these are okay but like

[readymades2002]

secret look at my doodle canvas just for you. being forced against all my earthly desire to learn how to draw faces that look different </3

#my arte #despite the fact that i hate trying to draw dudes that look distinct from each other it feels like the only thing im ever doing #trying to do. and failing at. well actually ive been studying so i think these are okay but like #the moment i try this from any other angle? any expression? anything but a 3/4 headshot facing the right? catastrophe.... #you can even see that with soldier. i have to draw him silly looking because if i try it for real it looks bad #dont even get me started on those bottom three this FUCKING throuple of dudes vex me i cannot STAND them its ALWAYS them #anyway im not happy about it but studying this game i already feel like im learning a lot about drawing faces (annoyed by this) #ive gotten lazy and im not confident in my lines digitally so i rely on shorthand a lot and it is helpful to look things over #also embarrassing because ive always drawn faces a lot but i always have a hard time conceptually proportions and all that #so i feel like my faces all look the same a lot of the time. and i...havent...studied anatomy lol so im really guessing a lot #and now im thinking about features being different sizes and depths and locations and its like wow! #pretty cool! will NOT stay consistent but well it looks neat i guess!

[wolveria]

On Frozen Wings - Ch 1

Pairing: Crosshair x Hunter

Rating: 18+ only, Explicit

After Hunter nearly lost everything, his family is slowly piecing itself back together. Omega is safe, Echo might stick around for a while, and Crosshair... Well. Crosshair never makes things easy, but sometimes, he does make them simple. Crosshair wants him. Unfortunately, Hunter has no idea what to do with this information.

AO3

Hunter wasn’t sure how it was quieter with more people on the ship, but somehow, it was.

The tension on the Remora was a far cry from what it’d been on their way to Barton IV. That flight had been filled with a crackling thickness that forced a subdued atmosphere and silent ride.

This was different. Something had changed on the planet, and it wasn’t just that Hunter and Crosshair were on speaking terms again, though that was a small miracle itself. And to think, it had only taken Hunter nearly being eaten by an ice wyrm to make that happen.

Considering how their fights usually went, this one went rather smoothly. No black eyes, no broken bones. No one had even thrown a punch. Hungry beasts were tame in comparison.

Maybe that explained the strange space between them now. Strange, because it was peaceful. Deceptively so. Hunter once again found himself focused on Crosshair wherever he was in the ship, tracking him by scent, sound, and that unique bioelectric signature that belonged only to him.

But he wasn’t going to follow Crosshair like a lost pup, or the shadow Crosshair accused him of being. He wasn’t.

He just… happened to find himself in the same part of the ship as Crosshair. That’s all. Hunter wasn’t thinking about the questions left unanswered. When had Crosshair’s chip actually been removed, why had he killed an Imperial officer, and what had really happened back on that ice planet.

Hunter had watched him place the helmets one by one, arranging them on the crate like a memorial. Something… significant had happened there, and the way Crosshair held one particular helmet wrapped in old bindings filled Hunter’s chest with both a dull ache and a sharp, cold sting.

Hunter refused to think about how he’d never seen Crosshair so tender and careful before. These were strangers to Hunter, but not to Crosshair. He’d lived a whole other life, away from them.

Away from Hunter.

No, he definitely wasn’t thinking about that. He was not thinking about it so hard that he failed to notice Crosshair right in front of him in the corridor, a brow raised at Hunter’s errant wandering.

Or, perhaps, not so errant.

“Following me again, Hunter?”

Hunter scowled, but it was out of embarrassment rather than annoyance as he glanced away from where Crosshair stood conveniently in his path.

“No.”

The brows rose even higher.

“Really.”

“Yeah. Really.”

The silence begged for something to fill it, and Hunter did with a grumbled, “Was just… walking the ship.”

“Uh-huh.”

Hunter’s gaze snapped to his, but Crosshair’s expression was one of vague amusement. There was no resentment or anger. Hunter could admit it was a nice change.

Hunter relaxed, giving a half shrug and a little smile to acknowledge his answer was, perhaps, ridiculous.

“Our ship’s not meant to hold so many people. Guess I wanted to stretch my legs while I had the chance.”

“Didn’t get enough of that with the wyrm trying to bite you on the ass?”

A chuckle startled out of him. He’d missed Crosshair’s sharp tongue and scathing wit, especially when it was used for amicable teasing rather than ripping him to shreds. Oh, how Crosshair excelled at targeting all of Hunter’s weak points.

“That? That was nothing compared to some of the creatures we’ve come across,” Hunter said. “Last one almost swallowed the Marauder whole.”

Crosshair rolled his eyes, his own posture relaxed as he leaned one shoulder against the corridor wall.

“How did you ever survive without me?”

Hunter’s humor faded. Not very well, he could admit to himself.

Crosshair’s amusement also vanished, studying Hunter’s face with closer scrutiny than he was used to. None of the others looked at him that way, or when they tried, like Wrecker had been the last few months, Hunter simply skirted around the observation and pretended everything was fine.

It hadn’t been, for a long time. Only within the past day, the past few hours, did Hunter realize his hope hadn’t been completely extinguished.

“Come on.”

Hunter blinked out of his daze, but Crosshair didn’t wait for him, slipping down the hallway until he disappeared from view. And like a second shadow, Hunter followed.

They ended up in the cargo hold, mostly empty due to Echo being between missions for Rex. There were a handful of crates around, and one was growing a collection of armor as Crosshair was in the middle of stripping off pieces.

Hunter stared, dumbfounded. Clearly, he’d missed a very crucial part of their conversation.

Crosshair looked over his shoulder and gave an amused huff at whatever face he was making. Hunter certainly couldn’t guess.

“How long’s it been since you’ve properly sparred with someone?”

Oh. Sparring.

“Well…”

He tried to think. They hadn’t had much downtime to begin with, but after Omega had been taken and Hunter had focused everything into finding her, he’d had too much time on his hands during their stints in hyperspace. Too much time to think about all the mistakes he’d made and the ways he’d failed. A distraction had been sorely needed, and sparring would have been perfect.

But since it had been only him and Wrecker, and they hadn’t been able to spar with Wrecker for years because of his enhanced strength, something they’d learned after he’d accidentally broken Tech’s collarbone…

So, not since Kamino. Not since… they’d left Crosshair.

“A long time.”

Crosshair hummed, the tone of it not indicating his thoughts one way or another.

“Here’s your chance,” Crosshair said. “Sounds better than pacing the ship, doesn’t it? Especially if we’re just going to keep running into each other.”

Hunter could hear the amused tint of the words, the way Crosshair’s mouth curved even if he couldn’t see it, and it was the kind of teasing that used to drive Hunter mad. He didn’t realize how much he’d missed it until he no longer had it.

Crosshair bent down to slip off his boots, and he chose that moment to look back at Hunter and catch him staring. Now that he’d been staring at anything in particular, he was just—

“Are you going to strip, or do I need to do it for you?”

Hunter looked away, grinding his teeth together.

Little shit.

Sparring did sound like a good way to get rid of this odd tension he couldn’t identify. It wasn’t a bad sort of tension, not the kind he felt after seeing Crosshair again after so long. That shock had been a punch to the gut, especially after the bone-deep relief of having Omega again.

To have her back, and on the heels of that, Crosshair dropping back into their lives had been like a plunge out of hyperspace with a broken hyperdrive.

Reconciling with Crosshair had been what they needed, and everything should be fine now, right? So why did his gut tighten whenever they were in the same room?

Yeah, maybe this was what he needed. A distraction and a way to work off excess energy.

Hunter hadn’t taken off his chest plate since the ice planet, and he did so now, along with his one remaining pauldron. It was hard to imagine all that was left of his old armor was his cuirass, helmet, and greaves. Even his bandana hadn’t survived the blood and violence he and Wrecker had waged for any scrape of information they could find.

His mind had wandered again—he didn’t even notice that Crosshair had moved closer, only a few feet away and stripped down to his blacks. His arms were crossed, but there was a lightness to his face, bordering on mischief.

“How many layers are you wearing?”

Hunter glanced down at himself. He’d gotten past the green vest, and the tan undervest, which left the brown long-sleeved shirt and his bicep pads—

“It’s protection,” Hunter muttered.

“There’s something else that does a better job of that,” Crosshair said, his eyes bright with silent laughter. “You may have heard of it.”

“Katarn-class armor isn’t exactly for sale at the local market.”

“So, you decided to go without? That’s much better.”

Hunter purposefully glared as he stripped the rest of his outfit. It was a good thing they were going to spar soon, Hunter would happily throw the first punch. Though with the amused tilt to Crosshair’s mouth, he wondered if that was the point.

Hunter pulled off his gloves and gauntlets next, making a show of the exposed armor under the maroon bindings. Crosshair rolled his eyes.

“Well, thank the Maker, your arms have protection.”

Little shit, Hunter repeated as he fought down his own smile.

The running commentary didn’t stop when Hunter removed his gun belt, and Crosshair said, “Didn’t realize you like to live so dangerously, Hunter. That thigh-strap is awfully close to your—”

“Are you going to do this the whole time?”

Crosshair released a sharp breath that wasn’t quite laughter but was close enough to fill Hunter’s chest with warmth. He still scowled at the boots he pulled off his feet, though.

“Not if you’d hurry up,” Crosshair purred. “We’ll pick up the reg before you’re even halfway done.”

Hunter let out a soft growl and turned away. His hands kept fumbling with Crosshair staring at him like that, lips slanted in unending delight at Hunter’s discomfort, but his eyes too narrow and watchful, as if each revealed layer required new scrutiny. Hunter fidgeted like a bug under glass.

He hesitated before pulling off his pants. The armor plating was attached to them, so he couldn’t leave them on. Traditionally, they always sparred in their body gloves, it was fairer and prevented any serious injuries besides what they could cause with their own bodies.

He sighed. It wasn’t anything Crosshair hadn’t glimpsed in the communal shower or even in their old barracks. It was fine. It wasn’t strange.

Hunter kept telling himself that as he shucked off his pants and pulled off the last layer of his upper body. What he wore underneath was… a very truncated version of a black body suit. The upper portion only covered his chest and his shoulders, leaving his arms and hands bare.

The bottom half was even more lacking, only covering his groin and upper thighs. It kept him from overheating with all the additional layers, but that wasn’t much of a reassurance when he felt Crosshair’s sharp eyes taking him in from head to foot.

“What?” Hunter folded his arms across his chest—not because he was trying to shield himself from that piercing stare. Definitely not.

“Nothing,” Crosshair said in a way that meant he had many thoughts he could share, none of them he would.

“Right.” Hunter rolled his shoulder, trying to shake off the new tension that had crept up on him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been such a bundle of raw nerves, but it had probably involved Crosshair. It always did. “Any rules?”

“No killing each other.”

“Thought that went without saying.”

Crosshair’s small but toothy smile reminded him of a predator whose hunger had been piqued.

“Just want to be thorough. Other than that, no boundaries.”

Against anyone else that might be good news, Hunter was deadly in close quarters, but Crosshair fought dirty. Suddenly, his bare skin felt a lot more exposed.

“Sounds good to me,” Hunter said, and he hoped none of his trepidation showed. Hunter might be more prone to biting under stress due to his enhancements, but Crosshair was more than happy to dig his teeth into body parts that got too close to his mouth.

Yeah. Hunter was probably coming out of this bloody.

They moved apart nearly at the same moment, their postures slipping into old fighting stances, comfortable in their familiarity. Too many of their battles these days involved blasters or short, brutal fights that relied on aggression rather than finesse.

Hunter was eager for this, he realized, but at the same time… he held back, hesitant, as they circled each other. The last time he’d fought Crosshair, he’d been trying to kill Hunter, cut him open with his own vibroblade. It wasn’t something he could forget, even if he’d forgiven Crosshair.

And he had. His resentment and bitterness had been buried in the snow of Barton IV. But that didn’t mean he knew where they stood now. The hope felt fragile, and he was afraid to break it with a wrong move or misspoken word.

If Crosshair was feeling any hesitation, he neglected to show it. He rolled his eyes and drew Hunter’s attention to the wide space between them.

“I thought we were sparring, not dancing.”

“Come over here, then.”

Crosshair’s lips twitched upward.

“You first.”

It was an invitation if Hunter was ever going to get one. Crosshair was okay with this, really okay with this, even if it got violent. Which… Hunter wasn’t actually interested in. Not that he ever was, but when it was Crosshair trying to force him into submission, all fists and teeth and lanky limbs, it lit a blaze in Hunter that made him more animal than human—

Air exploded from his lungs as Crosshair’s shoulder hit him hard in the gut, dragging them both to the ground. Apparently, the sniper got tired of waiting.

Hunter was quick, flipping Crosshair over his head and scrambling for him, less than graceful on the metal slats instead of their usual padded mats. He might have been hesitant before, but he wasn’t now, driving Crosshair back to the floor with a combination of thrown weight and gravity.

It was a messy, tangled struggle after that. Nearly all their sparring matches devolved into a contest of who could pin the other fastest. Hunter usually won if he didn’t allow Crosshair to grab him from behind. His height and longer limbs gave him the advantage when Hunter couldn’t reach him, though a jab to the ribs and a hook around his ankle almost always got them back on even ground.

Hunter should have won this round too, but there was an intensity to Crosshair that caught him by surprise, and when the sniper pinned him flat on his back, he stayed there. Mostly because he didn’t want to move and lose sight of Crosshair’s peculiar expression.

It was focused, as it usually was, but layered with a dark intensity that made Hunter’s mouth run dry. Crosshair straddled his hips, his fingers curled around Hunter’s wrists, holding them above his head.

Something about this felt… familiar. Back in their cadet days, sparring matches tended to be most often between them, as Tech wasn’t interested and Wrecker was getting too big for them to do it safely.

Not that anything Crosshair and Hunter did could be labeled safe. Their matches would quickly escalate to black eyes, bruises, and bite marks. Until one day it had escalated to something else.

Nothing happened. Nothing ever happened. They had just been going through the unpredictable swings of hormones during adolescence, a fact they only knew because Tech gave them almost daily updates on his own bodily changes, and Wrecker would enthusiastically contribute with his own.

Nothing had happened, except two sweaty cadets accidentally brushing their aching erections against each other. And then doing it again. Neither of them speaking about these accidental touches, and if they both hurried off to the showers separately afterwards, that didn’t need to be mentioned, either.

So Crosshair leaning forward and rubbing his hard length against Hunter’s equally stiff erection was a shock to his gut, equally familiar and not. They were no longer naïve cadets, and this was no accident.

“Crosshair,” he choked out.

“Yes?”

Crosshair purred around the word, but his eyes were watchful, nearly to the point of wariness, waiting for Hunter to speak. But he had no idea what the hell he wanted to say, frozen like the proverbial nuna trapped under the nexu.

“I…” Hunter finally stumbled out. “What… are you doing?”

Crosshair’s eyes narrowed.

“I thought it was obvious.”

A comment like that might ordinarily earn Crosshair a glare and sharp retort, but Hunter struggled to find where all his air went.

“We…” He swallowed to get his dry throat some relief. “We can’t…”

Hunter’s appeal for Crosshair to see reason might have been more effective if he didn’t groan when the sniper rolled his hips and rubbed their clothed erections together.

“We can, Hunter.” His eyes blazed, staring straight through him and leaving all his old yearnings exposed. “We can.”

But will you? was the unspoken question Crosshair didn’t voice. Hunter didn’t have an answer to that, either. He was still reeling from the idea that Crosshair even wanted him in this way.

And then Crosshair leaned down, so close that Hunter thought he might kiss him, and he held his breath, frozen. Hunter could—and had—faced down battalions of battle droids without flinching, but the sight of Crosshair’s lips hovering over his might be enough to earn his surrender.

At the last moment, Crosshair changed course, his lips tracing over the dark lines of Hunter’s tattooed jaw until his breath warmed his ear.

“Say yes.”

Hunter closed his eyes. He wanted to, stars, he wanted to. Every inch of his body ached with the need to say yes, but he couldn’t. They’d just gotten Crosshair back. He couldn’t do anything to risk that, wouldn’t do anything that might eventually make him leave.

There had been reasons why Hunter hadn’t given in to temptation when they were cadets or troopers. He could have, oh he could have, so easily with Crosshair. Or possibly with regs who had reminded him of Crosshair, but he hadn’t.

The reasons were different now. He didn’t have to worry about pissing off some Kaminoans with their frigid ideas of “appropriate interpersonal conduct,” and he was no longer a sergeant. No longer a soldier. He wasn’t even their leader anymore, not really.

But he couldn’t… they couldn’t…

The noise that came out of him when Crosshair pressed his mouth to Hunter’s neck was embarrassing, startled and needy.

“Say yes,” Crosshair growled against his skin. Hunter’s ability to think, let alone speak, was shot to hell when he sucked on the spot just under his jawline.

Hunter kept his mouth firmly shut as he tried to find the words to explain why this was a kriffing bad idea, but then Crosshair released his wrists and instead dug his fingertips against Hunter’s chest. He used the leverage to grind down harder, and Hunter could practically see stars.

He knew it then. He wouldn’t say no. He couldn’t deny Crosshair anything, not really. And he wouldn’t deny him this, not when it took all of Hunter’s strength not to flip them over and rut against Crosshair like an animal in heat.

So he kept his hands firmly at his sides, and even that was dangerous with them so close to Crosshair’s long, coltish legs.

Hunter tilted his head further to the side, a show of surrender. It was the best he could offer when a part of him still insisted this was the wrong decision, that neither of them were thinking clearly and Crosshair would regret his actions later. Wasn’t that how they got here to begin with?

But that was only a small part of Hunter. The rest of him relished how Crosshair purred in victory and sucked one last spot on his neck before he sat up. His pupils were blown, and his lips were slightly swollen from the rough treatment to Hunter’s neck.

They looked damned delicious, but before Hunter could consider what would happen if he kissed him, Crosshair shifted upright on his knees. He separated his body glove and tugged the lower half down just enough to free his cock.

He was longer than Hunter but not as thick, and he was already leaking copious amounts of precum. Hunter’s mouth watered at the sight, the scent of Crosshair’s arousal even more potent now, and it was a miracle he could keep his hands to himself and simply watch.

Crosshair pulled down the waistband of Hunter’s suit and pulled out his length. He stared at it with a devouring expression that reminded Hunter of what sometimes happens when he gets too close to Crosshair’s teeth.

And then he’s not thinking anything at all as Crosshair wrapped his long fingers around their shafts and thrust forward. The noise that Hunter made sounded almost painful, a ragged groan and gasp, and he failed to keep his hands frozen at his sides, instead gripping onto Crosshair’s calves as if to steady himself. Or keep him firmly on the ground before he floated off into space.

Crosshair kept going, setting a pace that was neither gentle nor slow. Hunter would have thought he’d been more teasing, drag it out just to watch Hunter squirm, but something in his movements were almost desperate. Frantic.

It was all Hunter could do to brace himself, pleasure zipping up and down his spine at a speed that would leave him ruined. Crosshair’s warm hands, the calluses against his skin, the shock of friction between their lengths.

Yeah, he was ruined.

The buildup was quick after that. Too much time apart, years of unanswered yearning and buried desires, Hunter wasn’t going to last long. His bandana came loose, and Crosshair tugged it off, twisting his fingers in the freed locks of his hair, and pulled.

It was nearly enough to hurt, dancing the line between pleasure and pain until they melded, and Hunter arched his back. He gripped Crosshair’s legs and thrust up once, twice, and spilled over Crosshair’s skilled fingers. Fingers that shook when holding a weapon but were steady now as he carried Hunter through his trembling orgasm.

Something gave way inside him, a dam burst after a lifetime of holding back. The grief of losing Crosshair, the piercing ache of rejection and betrayal, the agony of trying to keep Crosshair at a safe distance upon his return, none of it remained intact. The relief shuddered through him, a soft hitch like a sob in his throat.

Hunter didn’t feel the tears until they trickled into his hairline. He wasn’t… crying… or maybe he was? He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried, possibly when he was a cadet. But something within him had cracked, and the released pressure made him feel boneless, warm, and wonderfully brittle.

It was good. Hunter knew that much. The tension was gone, his senses thrummed in a way that was almost overstimulation, and Crosshair—

—was looking at him with a wide-eyed expression of horror.

Hunter blinked stupidly. Not understanding when Crosshair pulled away, hastily rearranging his body glove to cover himself—and things certainly weren’t clearer when the sniper grabbed his gear and practically fled the room.

Hunter stared at the doorway, half-expecting Crosshair to come back. And wasn’t that a painfully familiar feeling?

He dropped his head, the back of it thudding against the floor, and reluctantly, he put away his softening cock. Hunter grimaced at the stickiness that coated the upper half of his suit, and then he stared at the ceiling, listening to the hum of the ship, waiting for Crosshair’s soft footfalls to return.

They didn’t. Hunter’s heart sank in his chest.

What had he done?

Next Chapter

#crosshunt #crosshair x hunter #cloneshipping #tbb spoilers #tbb season 3 #the bad batch the return #wolveria writes

[teecupangel]

So i got a AC x Venom/Marvel crossover idea that ive been toying around with recently that i wanted to share:

So the reason that Symbiotes dont work so well with bonding is mostly the whole "We need to eat brains to live" thing clashes with most superhero morals, but Assassin's kill all the time so that could be a match made in heaven?

So, we could do this 2 ways: 1) is that desmond gets a symbiote when he and Lucy break out of Abstergo. Desmond stepped in some weird white and red goo, but with Lucy running ahead he couldnt really spare a thought to it. So, when he gets shoved in the trunk he gets to bond with the symbiote. Its a misfit just like him, completely alone in a world where you cant tell anyone who you truly are for fear of being discovered/abandoned/abused. So why not be misfits together? Desmond gets major flak for being such a chocolate addict, but hes losing hus mind over here so he gets his chocolate. He doesnt tell anyone about his friend until the templars show up and he and symbiote goes on an all you can eat buffe to everyones horror.

Or 2) where Desmond's body is recovered by Abstergo and during a containment breach a symbiote gets to his body and revives it(Isu bullshit FTW!) and goes on a rampage before dissapearing. Until Erudito gets a call on the emergency line from someone claiming to be Desmond.

Thoughts & Notes:

I imagine the symbiote to kinda look like Carnage & Anti-Venom, mainly being white with red details: his fingers are blood red that fade into black the closer to the hand you get until the black bleeds to the white in the middle of the fore-arms(the legs are the same). Instead of the spider symbol on the chest and back, he has the AC logo.

In option 1, idk what name would fit the symbiote, but in nr.2 id defo say they would name themselves Revenge for what Abstergo did to them.

Desmond would at first have issues eating people, but the symbiote does need it to live and if they stick to Templars and bad guys hes happy, so eh. Just make it a quick and clean kill, its the assassin way.

Idk how the others would really react really, but Bill would defintly go "This we can use, you are the perfect Assassin now", much to Desmonds frustration. Does Bill even see him as his son anymore?

Im all out of ideas now, what do you think? ^^

The origin of the Symbiote can be:

If we’re sticking to keep this as a Marvel/Venom/Spider-Man crossover, the Symbiote keeps its Marvel origin

If we’re keeping this contained into AC world, we can morph the Symbiote into a failed Isu experiment. In this route, the Symbiote could have been a failed plan to create an armor that can withstand the Solar Flare. It gained sentient due to some sort of Solar Flare-induced mechanical failure in its containment or lab and it spent centuries being alone until Abstergo got it.

Regardless of which route we choose, the idea would be: In Abstergo’s hands, it was studied and experimented on without realizing it was sentient which meant Abstergo was hurting it without realizing it.

This way the symbiote would have a reason to hate Abstergo and the Templar Order.

Or, you know, he could just like Desmond and be like “I like you so I’ll eat them.” kind of deal.

Another way that can be a combination of Way 1 & 2, Desmond got the symbiote when he returned to Rome to rescue Bill.

During the chase and ‘fight’ scene between Desmond and Cross, Cross could have accidentally shot the symbiote’s container and Desmond stepped on it in his mad dash to take down Cross as soon as possible.

The symbiote only started talking to him once he’s back in the Grand Temple and he believes it’s a more severe version of the Bleeding Effect first.

Actually…

Regardless of which Way we go for, Desmond wouldn’t immediately believe that he has a symbiote. He would cling to Lucy’s words that he’s hallucinating thanks to the Bleeding Effect and he would think the symbiote is more or less his mind trying to keep him sane by creating a weird sorta-not-sorta-shapeless being that seemed to be a mirror image of himself: completely alone in a world where he cannot tell anyone who he truly was for fear of being discovered, abandoned and/or abused.

The first time the symbiote would make itself known to everyone would be either from a battle with Abstergo (for Way 1 &2) or to actually protect Desmond from the device’s recoil because, while it cannot take the full brunt of the Solar Flare, the device’s recoil? Yeah, could totally do that.

Other Unorganized Notes:

I’m kinda imagining the Assassin insignia to start out more like ink blots with small veins stretched outward and the more Desmond and the symbiote ‘connect’, the more the Assassin insignia becomes clearer until the ink blots disappear but it’s an Assassin insignia that has small vein-shaped lines stretching outward.

I kinda like the idea that the symbiote’s name would be connected to either having an Assassin as its host or eagles in general. On the top of my head: Revenge (like you explained), Soar (which gives us a chance to make a lame joke of someone mishearing it as “Sore”), Flight, Leap, Hidden… or, you know, we can go for “Assassin” because no one can think of a better name or even “Bleed” because sometimes the symbiote suit looks like it’s bleeding and as a reference to the wrong idea they have that this might have been some kind of genetic mutation caused by the Bleeding Effect.

Shaun and Rebecca would freak out (Lucy too if we’re setting this in a timeline where the symbiote’s connection to Desmond made him stop before he stabbed Lucy) but they’d try to understand. Shaun would definitely be more on the side of poking it to see what it does because his self-preservation flipflop a lot while Rebecca is more worried about its effect on Desmond’s overall health in general.

Bill would definitely go “we can use this” the first time he heard of it then ask if Desmond’s alright later but, by then, the damage has been done. Even if Bill is genuine in his concern, Desmond don’t fucking care anymore.

The symbiote is the easiest way to stop Desmond’s Bleeding Episodes although it also likes to talk to his Bleeds. Altaïr finds it fascinating. Ezio is wary of it. Ratonhnhaké:ton just talks to it normally although there’s a hint of cautiousness in his tone.

It would be funny if the symbiote starts Bleeding Desmond’s ancestors once they reached a certain ‘connection level’ but instead of its personality being overwritten by the Bleed, it’s like the symbiote creates another ‘head’ to house the Bleed instead. This turns out to be the best way to keep Desmond from Bleeding but they can’t control who Bleeds, him or the symbiote… not yet anyway.

#it was meant to be symbiote focused #but i accidentally added the bleeding effect #sorry about that #shaun and rebecca are trying to be supportive #but they’re worried #super worried #so if you want desmond to go rogue #this is an easy setup to do it #just make desmond feel their worry and misunderstand it as distrust for him #not the symbiote #and not believing him #when he says he’s fine and this is a good thing #ask and answer #assassin's creed #desmond miles #fic idea: assassin's creed #fic idea: venom

[egokillr]

hi this is a bit of a dark ask but i need to get this off my chest.

i want to drop out off school, i dont want the career path im taking. i hate everything about it. im literally writing this at 2:00 am because i cant sleep due to being soo stressed out over my test that is after tomorrow.

i dont want to stress out like this... i dont want to study but i going to continue to since i need a job. because i need money to live

i alr failed a test worth a lot and i dont know if i can continue without spiralling because im so stressed and scared about my marks.

what do i do? i feel so hopeless. its only been a month into school and i genuinely cant handle it

i want to just have my desires because if i had them in the 3d rn i wouldn't be growing gray hair out of stress at 17 years old. what do i do?

hello!! im so sorry i didnt answer earlier i was sleep lol

well my love i actually would love to answer this bc i had the same issue in school!!

well it seems you have two choices: manifest a better school life or drop out and manifest success without school

i personally decided to drop out, but my mom decided she was gonna do my work for me bc she wanted me to graduate (i was in online.) so i basically got super lucky. you can always manifest something like this but i wouldn’t suggest it because it’s basically cheating lol. but basically i wanted to drop out BECAUSE i fucking hated school like there was so much behind me i couldnt bare to even try to like it, which is, im thinking, how you feel.

(switching to online is also an option, it’s much easier, more comfortable and fun but its still school yk)

you don’t necessarily need school with the law love. you can do anything outside of school and honestly getting out was the best thing ive ever done. don’t take on the societal pressures of being a graduate or doing this or that to be successful because its all false. take on a life of your own. one that you love that brings you joy. i promise you you’ll never look back 💞 even if it’s hard at first. with the law, you have everything in the palm of your hands.

so i would suggest looking at both paths and choosing which one would feel right for you :)

thank you for this ask,, i really wish you the best luck in this new chapter of your life 💝

#vic talks

[77pupu33pipo]

so sorry feel free to skip, big rant ahead.. but good ending :)

i really hope i can get free university tuition for the next year.. there are two vacant positions atm and i think i have a great chance of getting one.. i enrolled last year with 50% discount based on exam results but this discount is only kept if you stay high enough in student ratings and it kept me awake at night throughout the year and feeling guilty, and the workload was completely draining, and i was physically unwell and um. 0 friends and so i had a complete mental breakdown at the end of the year + a failed class and no year-end thesis which meant i needed an individual plan for the next year which meant no discount AND additional pay for extra courses. Decided to drop out, but instead re-enrolled in the same program for the second time to preserve 50% exam discount which is still appliable. Asked for credit recovery for all of the courses i actually completed last year and bless the faculty office because they agreed and spent this year taking my sweet time recovering and attending uni 3 times a week for language classes and thesis. And funny thing is i did pretty well last year. But complete burn out and absolutely shattered mental health, i really couldnt do it anymore. and i don't think ive recovered from it completely, i now resent the thought of any kind of confrontation or trying hard at something or taking an additional interest in something because that just means more work and thought. none of it pays off. i now give up when met with the smallest inconvenience and pushing through with anything is too much. i played The Sims Fucking 3 University one time and got so anxious and mad because the memory was painful. And i dont even remember the stuff that happened during last year that well at all, its all a complete haze, like it never even happened, but somehow still had its consequences. but like pretty much everyone was going through the same stuff in the same circumstances, but i didnt see anyone else struggling that much so i ended up thinking i am a wimp just wasting our and others' time and money and didnt complain or express my worries to anyone. i didnt exactly have anyone to express them to but well....

on the bright side i think I have succeeded in developing a "fuck-all" mentality in the last year and i hope to utilize it next time i am met with the same workload. Plus my groupmates this year round are amazing. i struggle to form close friendships or acquaintences, but they are all very nice and sweet and supportive of one another, its really nothing ive ever seen of classmates or colleagues. And i also think i have made good progress in learning Finnish and have regained just a bit of my passion for linguistics, i wouldnt want to resent the field forever because if it comes to academics i dont think im suited for anything else. my mother has been nagging me about taking what is essentially a gap year, and saying i was making stuff up when i told her about my decision and that ive been really struggling for the past year, even though i was just wailing at the time. But its alright i guess, i don't take it to close to heart, although it does make me so mad sometimes.

im better off now, but im still so scared of plunging back into all that anxiety, restlessness, exhaustion, competition and feelings of stupidity and inferiority. I have mostly dealt with the last two, but i dont think i will be able to take the stress if it is the same as last year. If i stay on paid tuition, then i have to continue securing my discount. And that means extra work in every subject, because you can't get max and pre-max grade by just completing the course perfectly, you're required to do extra work for the last two marks. I realize and understand that this is a common system, but jesus fucking christ i want to be able to choose not to do so and still continue studying like normal, not be handicapped in learning stuff i actually have to learn in other subjects because of useless shit i need to waste my time on for that sweet sweet 9 or 10. and you're competing both with people like you on paid tuition AND with people on free tuition who have some issues i think as the difference between mark 8 and mark 10 is only seen in the student rating and not recorded in the diploma, and the student rating does not mean jack shit if you're on free tuition, literally no one cares for it outside of calculating discounts and transfering from paid to free tuition. I don't want to think badly of those on free tuition who choose to compete in the system, but i believe i have become too senstitive about this topic. I want to bonk them with a cardboard tube to make them change their minds and see the appeal of being free to fuck all when it comes to grades and just do what they actually enjoy in the academics field or on the side, but that doesnt happen.

and so i have a pretty good chance of getting on free tuition with my current grades. I worked my ass off last year with most of the courses, and i got a "great" on both language classes and thesis this year. As far as i know, im first in rating among those on paid tuition. im sending mind control waves to faculty so that they give me that free tuition. i promise i will get worse grades on purpose so that people who are still stuck in clinging to discount hell have a bit of an easier time. i'll read papers for fun and find joy in learning new things again. i will do minimum wage monotone work needed for dictionaries or corpora like all the cool kids. Fuck it, i will do some afterclass activities now that ill be able to afford to spend my free time on random shit. ill attend historical dance meetings regularly, its really fun. ill make some friends even. just PLEASE give me the free tuition. if i don't, i will sigh deeply and continue trying to grind, but ill be upset.

maybe i need to stop whining and just go on with it like everybody did, but pleaseeeeeee. I think i worked hard. I completed every assignment without taking a look at how much it weighed in the grade formula. I helped fellow students when they struggled with something. I had almost perfect attendance. THIS stupid thing will change my life, stupid thing being free tuition. i cant afford to not get a mind boggling cool education, my family will execute me. Please just let me get my stupid little linguistics degree (i mean it includes programming and maths so.) and go on with my life... ...

[luvelylili]

Hey Lilli! I was wondering if you had any helpful tips for me! So Ive been trying to manifest good grades but it seems I’ve been struggling and I don’t know why. I tried a 3 day saturate my mind challenge and even though some days I felt good some moments I felt bad I still persisted and didn’t let any opposing thoughts in and if there were any I didn’t well i immediately was like nope I got this I’m super smart I got a super high score etc I’m actually super proud of myself bc usually the anxiety I get when I say school affs would put me off from saying them but anyways even though I put in the work and I did better than last time and better than my friend I still didn’t even get the class average but I don’t think I have the mental energy to revise it bc I have to affirm for other school related stuff as well as study also I’ve never had success with revision so I’m hesitant to do it and spend my time and energy on changing the grade when I feel so drained and overwhelmed already bc school is a lot and it’s not cheap to fail classes soooo any advice? What do you do to make manifesting fail proof for yourself? Bc times like this make me want to give up because how is it that I have success in manifestation sometimes but not all the time ughhhh sorry for venting just had to get that off my chest

hi lovely,

i’m sorry to hear this, babe. from your message it seems that you were focusing on the 3d too much and also on time. you’re not affirming for 3 days to become the best student in your class. you’re affirming because you already are the best student. in the 4d you are. therefore the 3d doesn’t matter, it’s not real unless you say it is. so don’t identify with it anymore. failure is not an option, the law is a promise and you are god, why would you be worried if you already have something? its like having hair on your head, you’re not going to constantly check your head or look in the mirror for your hair. it’s there and you know it. your manifestations are the same. you’re doing everything right, it is done so, from now on, fully refuse to identify with anything that implies that you are not the top student with top grades!!

you’ve got this <333

(tysm for your help @yourstrulyvalentina )

#anon ask #loassumption #answered ask

[wormtiddies]

uni is !!!!! a thing !!!!!! im really enjoying all my classes so far, especially communications my professor is great i love her. im. really bad at making friends though 😭. so so far ive been pretty lonely lol. but there was a girl in comms who was really nice and i walked her to the tram stop after class so maybe its not hopeless. generally i am oscillating between “oh. this is easy i can do this. piece of cake” and “oh im literally gonna fail and die and i cant do anything and im terrible” but i dont think the latter is actually true i think im just. mental. so yeah. its good so far !! i am enjoying it. and we’re studying hamlet in english later in the semester so thats gonna be fun :3. yeah<3

omg!! im glad youre enjoying it!! uni is very overwhelming for the first semester so make sure not to be hard on yourself :) things will come with time and youll get situated. but yeah no you're really getting the average freshman experience, so dont worry!! you will get through this and youll do so well :) try to get involved in things too!! no one knows you, u can be whoever u want to be :) are you dorming or commuting? that has an affect how the first semester goes too haha

#im so proud of u dear i hope u know #frey answers #spicy <3

[simplekeikaku]

Learning tricks you can do with no prep time that actually work

Hi, I’m an older student who’s returned to school and is having to learn for the first time in my life how to study! I’ll write a separate post on note taking/revising methods that are working for me, but the following are the fastest and easiest tricks I’ve found to boost retention and efficiency. Some of them sound silly, but trust me, I’m a former 4.0 student who never had to study to get perfect scores when I was young and used to judge people for using some of these strategies. As my course load increases, I learn to value them more and more. Remember, the student who looks like a dork but gets perfect scores is having way more fun than the cool asshole who’s failing. Get a new piercing if you need to look cool, but study hard either way.

TIP 1

Utilize color psychology. There’s no need to make it complicated. The only tip from this article I’ve tried so far is to write in blue ink rather than black ink, and it works. It actually does boost concentration and retention.

TIP 2

Take advantage of aromatherapy. I know this sounds crazy. Buy or make a diffuser necklace and drop lavender and/or rosemary essential oil into it every morning. It will look like a fucking wizard amulet, so if that’s not your vibe, just wear it under your shirt. It needs to be in contact with your skin for proper heat transfer anyway. Aromatherapy positively affects mood, EEG patterns of alertness and math computations. Dig through the research if you want, but it will be faster and easier to just give this one a try. I’ve found rosemary oil in a diffuser necklace relieves headaches, helps me concentrate, and as a neat bonus, keeps mosquitos away.

TIP 3 

Take some brain vitamins. Sounds like I’m selling snake oil, but if you’re suspicious, consider that I’m not making any money off this. This is what I use, and because it is way too expensive, I take a sale sticker off an item of similar weight, place it over the bar code, and go through the self checkout line at a local grocer who carries it. I paid $3.99 for my last bottle and my food stamps covered it because it rang up as discounted almonds. I noticed quicker concept acquisition as soon as I started taking it which was sustained as long as I was on it, disappeared as soon as I stopped taking it, and reappeared when I started taking it again. It could be a placebo affect, but I don’t care as long as it works.

TIP 4

Medically induce relaxation if it doesn’t come naturally to you. You can’t learn very well if your body thinks you’re going to need to run from lions any second now. The first two weeks of this term were hell on my nerves, and I got really behind in all my classes because I got such intense anxiety whenever I sat down to study. For those of you with diagnosed anxiety disorders reading this, yes, I do understand what anxiety feels like -- in high school I had an eating disorder and such severe anxiety surrounding food that I could not swallow food if someone was looking at me, and if I tried to eat where people could see me my hands would shake so hard that my food would fall off my fork before I got it to my mouth. I know what anxiety feels like. I’m not bullshitting you. Anyway, these overpriced chocolates they sell at Whole Foods contain L-theanine, magnesium, and chamomile. You could probably find just about any supplement with the above ingredients and it would work, this is just the one I’ve been using lately. It takes the edge off. If you’re rolling in money, see a naturopath or head to an IV lounge for a magnesium push, but be aware that’s going to produce a very pronounced effect. Last time I had a magnesium push I fell asleep immediately and did not move until morning (no, I did not sleep on the exam table, I did it myself at home). I also really like MetaRelax but it’s expensive. These lavender oil pills work too, but they will make you burp and all your burps will smell like lavender.

All these things in combination have helped me go from feeling insane to feeling in-control and capable when it comes to keeping up and getting good scores in my classes. If I run across anything else that works well for me, I’ll be sure to share that as well.

#studyblr #study #college #studying #learning

[live-love-laugh-lesbian]

hi hi hii sorry ive been a bit busy but i love talking to you <33

ooh gift giving day is coming closerrr i lowkey hope you like yours ajsjfjdjc

fun fact: i listened to story of us for the first time today?!??? i know im crazy ajdjejsjd such a fan i am

alsoo while we are on the topic of my little pony ajdjrjs whats your favourite character?

herbal tea is soo good and chamomile tea after a hard dayy soo reall unfortunately i cant function properly without coffee so i prefer coffee ajdjfjsjf but tea is definitely more calming and probably more healthy for me lmao

see, i would pick master any instrument bc im not a sporty person andjdjs im more into music been learning it since i was 6 and i own an acoustic guitar which i would love to be able to play barre chords on but tbf the main instrument id like to master is ELECTRIC GUITARSSSS omg im obsessed w electric guitars theyre absolutely loml any character that plays them will forever be my favourite character electric guitars are SO HOT sorry im very passionate abt them i would love to be able to play some sick riffs on an electric guitar (also they just overall look so cool omg akdkejsjd) ive always wanted to learn electric guitar since i was a kid or like a bass 😍😍

anywayss amdjeksjd what would you pick? and my question for you: if you could pursue 3 careers what would they be? (if you dont mind sharing) alsoo cats or dogs? and sky blue or baby pink?

-swiftie spring exchange anon

Hello again! Is ok, no need to apologise! I'm enjoying talking to you as well! (Also low key shocked you only just heard that song the other day?? I swear it was everywhere at one point XD)

I'm sure I will like mine!! I am stressing over if my person will like theirs tho XD

My favourite MLP character is Rainbow Dash, but I'm a fan of Applejack too. I like the dynamics Applejack has with everyone, whilst with Rainbow Dash I think she's just super cool. How can I not love a rainbow pegasus??

Pfft sometimes coffee confuses me because everyone I know who drinks it seems to drink it for the caffeine...do people actually like coffee itself, or is it the caffeine? I'm mostly joking but also very confused XD And ooh...honestly electric guitars are very cool. I don't know why but they're just always associated with cool for whatever reason?? Electric instruments fascinate me however. Like what we make electric vs what we don't...imagine an electric violin. Or a flute. A recorder XD Idk but basically I can see why you'd pick that!! It's really cool you can do the guitar! I am terrible with music (I tried to learn the violin as a kid...I broke part of it on the very first day, panicked, and tried to fix it with superglue. It...sorta worked, enough so that I managed to just keep quiet about it until I turned 18 and was well away from consequences regarding breaking it lol.)

I think personally I'd like to go sports, but opportunities are low where I am, so it feels a bit wasted :( So maybe music? Ideally sports, especially anything that lets me go super fast. ALSO I want to be able to swim. And currently I uh cannot. And keep failing at trying to learn. Oh well.

Okay so 3 careers...I feel like I'm gonna be a bit vague here. First is my ideal career of "something that helps children with special educational needs". Whether that's like, support in schools, or making sure schools provide the right support, idk. Second...probably something medical? When I was younger I had wanted to study medicine at uni. I did not in the end but yeah! Helping out in the medical industry would be fun. And third...an animator! I've not got the patience for it tho XD What about you??

And cats!! I have two, one of which is sleeping beside the computer and the other is currently climbing over the keyboard and trying to sit on my arms. She is very helpful (sarcasm) but I love her so she gets away with everything XD You? And unsure on the pink vs blue...probably blue? In general I prefer warm colours to cool colours, but if I look around I have more blue things than pink things so maybe blue is the exception?

And last but not least, my question to you: of the four elements, air, water, fire and earth, which would you most like to be able to control?

#swift spring exchange anon

[skiagram]

Ive been too busy to diary but. So far so good. Last week kinda flop bc I missed out on some important homework assignments which was embarrassing but I promise I’m gonna do better.

clinicals is also going good, I have 6 competencies signed off!!! Chest, Wrist, ankle, foot, hand, and tib fib. I’m still super fail at like doing things on my own but my log sheets I’m spending more time on and I’m trying to follow Tech E’s advice and be more diligent in the routine like sanitizing, gloving, etc. hopefully I don’t get chewed out more at my SVP…

hw I’m embarrassingly bad at studying as usual but I think it’s bc lecture sucks SO BAD. I usually just end up doodling at lecture instead of paying attention. I think tho bc working is hard at home I want to use my class time to actually do the workbook or hw stuff better…it’s all anatomy and fact things which usually I’m good at but unfortunately here, thinking you know isn’t as good as ACTUALLY being able to reproduce knowledge!!!!

food wise: I’m eating well! Happy to say I have NOT been eating out horrendously for almost a month now. I pack my lunches, I eat a lot of cabbage and beans (farty) and sweet potato. Last week I cooked up a bunch of chicken breast chunks so I use that in my meal prep with some curry and paprika. Trying hard to make things tasty so I’m not tempted to spend more money, the tough part tho is breakfasts/mornings—I love getting my matcha drinks and pastries at the shop as I rush to school or work.

[translucio]

initial thoughts

cassandra reading varrics memoir at the end of trespasser was soooo good i love her sm

despite the game having been out for 9 years and being spoiled on most major things there were still some things i never got spoiled about. wild

not knowing exactly how some quest chains and major story decisions work, and not having been spoiled on them, actually turned out to be bad for me. some things happened that i didn't know were possible and would have avoided, but by the time they happened, the events that caused them were already like 20+ hrs of gameplay back. which is frustrating. these were things i really had no way of knowing would happen without looking it up far in advance. im the type of player who saves religiously in case i need to go back a little ways to fix things, but im not willing to go that far back

the war table....... is a mechanic. UX/game feel good. systems bad. the experience of going to the table, getting all your advisors together, studying the map, choosing which method to deal with different events, the diegetic menu - great! having to Wait Real Time to unlock content, and not knowing which content is important, and the sheer quantity of dumb operations that just crowd the map - bad. annoying. the reason i failed to do all the personal quests even though i wanted to and thought i had

this game was a poor attempt at open-ish world. it did not need to be this long or big. long load times and slow transitions were of course hardware limitations, but they are just painful, and could have been avoided if theyd made different design decisions. horseriding kinda feels like ass. most of the activities that populate the maps are pointless bloat to keep you there longer and get more mileage out of areas youve already moved through. of course this was 2014 and we have to try things to learn how to do them well but there were a lot of mistakes here.... lets do better guys

romanced dorian. wish you could be poly in this game cause i am not spending any more time in it but i did wanna see josephines romance...

i know shes kind of popularly disliked in the fandom and i saw a post a while ago saying shes really not that bad and people are just racist or misogynistic or whatever. but having finished the game now. i do not like vivienne. she pissed me off really bad and i wanted to kick her out but couldnt. and i never want to kick out companions in games

sera also irritated me but in her case i feel like its just cause some of her writing is not the best lol

i hate to say it as i was a certified cullen hater for the longest time. but you know what. he got better and i like how his arc went / how hes developed across the games. cullen girlies i understand you now. will you forgive me

and to be honest. yes solas is a bastard but hes not that bad.... maybe its because ive been desensitized by having been spoiled long ago but i think hes fine as a character/villain reveal. im not mad. he is not sexy though yall need help. that is an egg.

overall plot writing..... meh. the stuff they did with elves and elf gods and all is a bit convoluted, and ofc the whole mage templar war thing was so messy and uncomfortably centrist. and they really just continue to present qunari in A Way. really hope they do better next game

[ranhaitanisgf]

❝ mornings with ace trappola ‼ ❞

↪ otherwise read as: the various ways ace will make excuses to get close to you

[𖤐] hey twst nation .... how r we 2day !! my first work ever for twst! ive just been having too much ace brainrot okay, i needed to write this. i promise i'll get back on the tokyo revengers + nanbaka grind and finish all the reqs but JUST LET ME HAVE THIS OKAY. anyways. fellow ace luvers PLS ENJOY !! xoxoxo

masterlist

♡ i think out of all the twisted wonderland boys, ace is the one who is the most chaotic to wake up with in the morning. he's not very much of a morning person, but the consistent wake up call at heartslabyul has transformed him into a morning person, (quite against his will).

♡ before his antics though, obviously, the first thing he will do is admire your sleeping figure beside him, treasuring all the details of your face while you rest. he swears, it's not in a creepy way! he just gets a fuzzy feeling in his chest when he looks at you, and this is the only time he can unabashedly stare at you without judgement from anyone, (deuce already gets on his case for being so flirty with you, so he doesn't need anymore of that).

♡ however, once he's finished admiring you, he will immediately try to wake you up. he'll start off small, whispering your name in your ear, then slowly increasing his voice in volume. if that doesn't wake you up, he'll proceed to stick fingers into your ear, nostrils, and even your mouth. if that doesn't wake you up, then his last resort will be roll over onto you, his full weight never failing to wake you up lest you get crushed by him.

"a-ace, can't breathe..." "finally, you took so long!"

♡ (although he will never admit it, the reason he goes to such lengths to wake you up is because he misses hearing your voice and seeing your eyes; he also loves seeing the various expressions you make in response to whatever is going on around you at the moment. put shortly, he's impatient. he doesn't want to wait for you to wake up on your own).

♡ he will often sneak out of his dorm and make his way over to ramshackle, calling you in the middle of the night to come and open the door, greeting you with a mischievous grin, (despite your grumbling and sighing about him invading your dorm, you know that you'll let him in every single time).

♡ there are exceptions to ace's antics, however; even he knows that it would be cruel to wake you up early after you've had a rough day, and especially when you've been studying late or when you've had exams. he likes to tease you, but he's not heartless after all! on these mornings, he will brush his lips against your forehead, admiring you for a moment before heading downstairs, doing his damndest to keep quiet, (it is very hard with how creaky ramshackle is). he'll do his best to make breakfast; it won't be anything fancy, but the cute grin on his face as he hands you a plate will be more than enough.

♡ spending the morning with ace will never not feel domestic; the two of you will banter playfully as you eat, ace cutting off your words with kisses, (multiple times, and no, he will never ever get tired of it). grim will eventually wake up as well, joining the two of you in breakfast and making a disgusted face every time the two of you do anything remotely romantic.

"eugh, don't go kissin' my henchman so casually! hands offa them!" "oi, (y/n)'s mine, cat! go get your own!"

♡ when you're getting ready for the day, ace will scoff at the way you tie your tie, getting closer as he teases you for not being able to tie it right, (even if you tied it perfectly fine). he'll undo the knot, flipping your collar up and adjusting everything properly before he redoes the knot, claiming that it's a million times better than how you did it, (it's an excuse. an excuse for him to get closer to you without you making fun of him).

"there! now you look like an actual student!" "ace, it was fine before-" "nope! i perfected it! riddle making us practice those knots was actually worth doing!

♡ sometimes, he'll pull you in by your tie when he's done with it, his lips crashing into yours for a few moments, then abruptly pulling away with a proud smirk on his face. he'll walk away after that and pretend like nothing happened, telling you to hurry up or you two are going to be late for class.

♡ if the two of you have enough time, he might just let you attempt to do his heart makeup. however, he will absolutely insist that you have to sit on his lap, saying something about how you have to have a good angle to apply it, (it's complete bullshit; he just wants to to be close to him without actually saying it. you'll always let it slide, after a little bit of teasing).

♡ if you ask him, he'll also do his own makeup on you so that the two of you can match! (it makes him a bit more flustered than he will ever care to admit, especially when he sees the giddy grin on your face, simply because the two of you are matching). deuce will give the two of you so much shit for it later, but ace will just make fun of him for being single.

♡ of course, every time he spends the night at ramshackle, he is bound to get an earful from riddle. he tries not to make a habit of it, only coming around once a month in the beginning of your relationship. after a couple of months though, his visits will increase until he's coming by once a week, if not more (he's turned it into a habit despite telling himself he wouldn't). sure, he sees you during classes and after school, but there's something about being with you while you're sleeping that makes him sleep so much easier, (he knows that you're right there in his arms, safe and sound). if he's ever asked though, he will immediately say that he only does it because of deuce's snoring waking him up.

♡ he's just a big softie who loves you so much, (also a big tsundere though...)

#˗ˏˋ𖤐 twisted wonderland ˎˊ˗ #ディズニー ツイステッドワンダーランド #ディズニー ツイステッドワンダーランド x reader #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #ace #trappola #ace x reader #ace trappola x reader #disney twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland x reader #x reader #reader #reader insert #gn reader #gender neutral reader #game #video game #fluff #ace trappola fluff #ace trappola x reader fluff

[journalsandshit]

01/15/2023 - a list of reasons that jack and carolinas relationship absolutely does not work

-they arent friends.

-they never just sit and have a conversation. its always either sex or silence with them. theyre either laying on each other asleep or fucking, they dont bond and they never have

-they dont know each other (she has a list of everything about him that she should know after just spending a little bit of time with him, and she has to ask me for help picking out his gifts bc i (by her own admittance) know him better than her)

-the gifts that they get each other are so telling of how little they know/care about each other. he gets her stuffed animals and jewelry that he has to be told she would like by her "friends". she gets him copies of stuff ive already bought him/us so its already been test ran (chains, rings, shoes). they clearly dont know each others likes and dislikes which is like relationship 101

-they never solve their issues, they either ignore them until they go away or they fuck it out and then ignore them until they go away, and they both fully acknowledge that this is something that they do but they dont ever try to fix it

-shes an idiot, and hes very much not an idiot, so they cant relate to each other on anything. she literally almost didnt graduate bc she failed math so many times and hes going to school to study theoretical physics. and he refuses to acknowledge how dumb she is past a joke so they can never have a real conversation about anything of interest, especially anything hes interested in, and its all superficial nonsense

-her family refuses to include him properly (they wont speak english around him), and she refuses to speak up about this so he never wants to do anything involving her family. he complains about it endlessly but doesnt have enough self respect to tell her to straighten them out

-shes delusional and clearly thinks that theyre gonna get married even though theyre a shit couple and literally everyone thinks so, but he clearly thinks that shes just having fun when she says that shit so theyre not at all on the same page relationship wise

-shes a fucking bitch and thinks its cute. (eg. telling maddie how much prom tickets cost after i said over and over again not to and when i told her that that wasnt cute she just smiled and pretended that she hadnt heard me (and when i looked at jack and said "i hate your girlfriend" he said "me too" so.. that seems not great for them)) -

-she does those stupid fucking "death glare" eyes that she thinks are intimidating-even though she just looks like a moron when she does it-towards any girl woman that looks in the general direction of jack despite the fact that they very much do not want him. like.. she clearly does not do well with the fucking "oPeN reLaTiONsHiP" and just lies to him about liking it bc she wants to keep him but hes too stupid to realize that hes being lied to and hes too stupid to realize that hes too stupid to realize that hes being lied to so he wont listen to people that tell him whats actually going on.

-i have never, not even one time, seen him have some sort of relationship with someone other than carolina that didnt end in a fight between the two of them. she always throws a fit about how hes leaving her and shes not enough for him and hes forced to feel guilty about something that is fundamentally okay within the bounds of their relationship and has to comfort her about it even though he did nothing wrong. thats classic psychological abuse but he doesnt care bc he refuses to even consider that carolinas not happy because that would mean that hes doing something wrong and god knows thats just impossible

-they dont acknowledge or respect each others boundaries. he doesnt acknowledge her dislike of the relationship dynamic and therefore cannot respect it. she kept roping people (meghan and company) into his life again and continued to do so after he explicitly told her that he was uncomfortable with it and that he didnt want to be around her. they keep forcing each other into horrible situations because they cannot grasp that their boundaries are not compatible with each other

#01/15/2023 #from old blog #list #jack #carolina #wip

[ghostiewriter]

I feel like for the past 1 and half year ive been going through a mental burnout. And there are times where it gets better i guess, but i always fall into the same toxic cycle of procrastination-trying to discipline myself to study for uni and then guilt and shame when im failing to discipline. I currently have 4 courses and im graduating and that should be enough motivation for me to study, but it's not? I always used to be an excellent student who got shit done, but now while im still a good

Pt2 student, i have to try to discipline myself, im much less productive than i used to be and i just feel tired of trying, even though i know i should.

god no bestie you do not even realise just how much i fucking relate to this, genuinely on a fucking spiritual level. before covid, i had really good fucking grades and i was on top of all my classes and everything. then in my 5th year (i think that's junior year?) i could feel myself struggling and burning out and then when covid hit, it just hit so hard?

and like i just lost so much motivation for everything, but especially in school. and the worst part is like you know you can do well in class and you can study and everything but actually doing it?? it feels like i am genuinely dragging my body around and it just...god it sucks so much. the guilt and shame is the worst part, especially when people around you start pointing it out and all of a sudden you feel like the biggest disappoint ever and it fucking sucks so much.

i wish i knew a way out of it (honestly i hope i find a way too because i am about to go back into education and i really dont want a repeat of my last year of high school) but bestie i am so here for you🤍we are in this shit together!!

#ask #anon confession time! #burnt out gifted kids unite🤡

[mrfoox]

Mom, who have no idea how I am on a daily basis: please go out and shovel snow off your porch!

Me, who have been avoiding going outside and people at any time the last year: (:

#miranda talking shit #Not just pandemic situations but like... Going on walks and buying food and stuff #Ive only left my house to go to the hospital and to buy food a handful of times its concerning lmao #Mom thinks ive been going outside on walks like i do during summer at home ... No mama im isolating myself and feeling like trash thats all #Im meant to come along to grocery shop with my home help but ive been sending them out alone 9/10 times since this autumn #Only time i somewhat feel motivated to go is if oliver is going but he have only had my shopping twice in the year I've had them #At least i.... Am awake at the time ? Like i could just go back to sleep and let them go but i take my meds and try to get up #I miss seeing friends.... One of my two friends from my city moved away for study this autumn so i am like well dang #Explaining all this to anyone who havent experienced severe depression is also basically impossible lol #Its eady to just say 'but just do it (:' when you genuinely have to use so much mental energy to even eat... Keep up ones hygiene ... Do #Basic chores... Its deppressing how much willpower i use to just do the minimum and it still looks like im just bein lazy #I wish i had my mental capacity as my brother so i could just play video games 12 hours per day and basically be happy with that #I love video games but i feel guilty playing them because its not productive so instead i just lay in bed and zone out #My brother is the biggest stain and liability to society and everything one shouldnt be but he actually can do it without feeling guilt #Hes probably also autistic and definitely got hdhd but my emotional intelligence and awareness of others is the biggest thing dividing us #And anxiety i guess is a problem for me and not him. Then you know he basically mentally abused me growing up because he took out all anger #On me who was 6 yrs younger than him so now im here and hes ... There #Its almost funny how the most 'failed' child of us siblings is probably the most content with their life and less likely to off themselves #My sister got a family but im fairly sure shes somewhat unhappy with being a mother. She never wanted that life #And my oldest brother is... Well i guess hes me in man form to some extent. Hes definitely deppressed and havent finished high school etc #But he's still ... Trying ? Doing work and stuff and last couple of years hes very into gardening... #And then theres me ... I guess that im the only one getting 'the help' i deserve bc i have personally basically wanted to get diagnosed (': #All us siblings are just fucked one way or another ... Wish i didnt get the deppression etc part. Mental illness really runs wild in my fam #I love my mom but damn... She really came from an deppressed/bipolar dad and schizophrenic/autistic mom ... And then mom got kids with an #Shit who probably got add and something else but of course with a ton of unresolved family trauma which he then put his own kids through #All families have their issues ... But i dont really have one in anything but name and its filled with mentally ill people who can't adjust #To this society. Some people should not have biological kids... My family is part of thay group... #Negative

[keravnous]

when you see my face, hope it gives you hell; rodrick heffley x you (smut, minors dni)

if u saw me post this earlier today no u didn't

read pt. II here | read pt. III here | read pt. IV here

word count: 6,9k

Rodrick and you have a history of hating and constantly picking fights with each other. With him being the total opposite of your collected, well-dressed and hard-working self the two of you usually end up at each others throats. That is, until your friend decides to drag you to one of his infamous parties.

all characters are 18+, she/her pronouns, (sorta?) enemies to lovers, explicit, consent is sexy kids, vaginal, oral (female receiving bc rod's a feminist icon), undernegotiated kinks: name calling, rodrick's a little rough, light spanking, he's hitting it raw (use condoms kids, please)

this one's for you, v.

pov: you're at rodrick's party - the PLAYLIST

"I'm not going!", you're throwing your locker door shut, a few middle schoolers jumping at the loud noise, a few heads turning your way.

Your best friend is leaning against her locker, rolling her eyes. "Dude, you're acting up, really. It's just a party."

"That I won't attend", your phone buzzes in your bag and you dig your hand deep into it, thankful for the interruption of the discussion that'd been going on all noon, fumbling for it between discarded notes, books and pens.

"It'd be soo boring, all on my own. He won't even notice you're there, there are no invitations-"

"If his parties are soo boring, why drag me there then?", you raise your eyebrows in annoyed manner, feeling your phone buzzing away underneath your planner.

"Because you could use to loosen up a little!", she blurts out and looks at you. You raise your head, eyes meeting her's. She looks shocked.

"Sorry, I- I didn't mean anything by it. You're just studying so much and, and, an-"

"And?"

"And you just gotta come! It's gonna be the party of the decade, we'll remember it when we're old and grey and living in a retirement centre. And I won't spend my time there remembering a high school party all by myself, just because my best friend didn't care to fucking attend." For a split second you think about it. Oh, glorified high school memories, you could really use more of them. While others were going out on the weekends you mostly stayed at home, just occasionally joining in. You were afraid of failing classes and it really started to affect your social life.

Your phone rips you out of your thoughts, pulls you back to earth and into the reeking halls of Crossland High.

"I really don't care", you mumble absent-mindly, more to convince yourself than her, really. No matter if you actually wanted to go, he wouldn't want you there and you had better things to do than fighting with Rodrick fucking Heffley on a saturday night, after already having endured him all week. Finally seeing a blueish light at the bottom of your bag you close your hand around your phone.

"Practically the whole year's invited, so-" You see the caller's id: it's your younger brother.

"Yeah, what is it?", you ask as you answer the call. You're supposed to pick him up from soccer practice later, right after your last class. The bell riiings and you follow your friend through the busy halls to your class room while she chats away.

"Y/N? Soccer practice's cancelled", you can hear birds chirping on the other side.

"And what", you're squeezing yourself through the stream of students, trying to keep up with your friend, "Am I supposed to do about it?" The laughter and occasional screaming of younger student's surrounding you is too loud and muffles the noise coming out of your phone's speaker.

"Can - pick - me - house?"

"Text me the address!", you yell into your phone and manage to hang up before nearly dropping it after a little boy knocks your arm away, trying his hardest not to drown in a wave of hollering students.

_

Your pale 70s Fleetwood Cadi comes to a halt in front of a tidy and average looking suburban home. Your first impression is being supported by the equally average and family-friendly looking SUV that is parked infront of the garage.

12 Surrey Street.

You sigh. It's been a long day and homework's piling up. No one told you how horrible the last year of high school would be, how much effort you'd need to put into studying and just how much emotional stress college applications would add to the mix.

You turn the engine off and swing yourself out of your grandpa's old car, hurrying across the street and the sidewalk. There are some kids playing with chalk a few houses down the street and their laughter fills your ears. You're tired and you want to rest, fatigue enhancend by the warm evening sun shining down on your tired limbs. Its orange hue makes the autumn leaves and colourful houses glow. It's pretty but you don't wanna stay for too long, hoping that your brother is ready to go.

Without paying much attention, your finger finds the doorbell and you only notice the name above it after you rang. Heffley.

No no no.

You take a step back to check the address again, eyes aimlessly roaming the street.

No no no.

There are audible steps behind the door and you pray it's not him. Maybe, hopefully, there's another Heffley family living in Plainview.

No no no please God, no.

The door opens.

It's not him.

"Oh, hello. You must be Y/N", a friendly looking woman, glasses deep on her nose, opens the door and you release an audible breath. She smiles wider, a little more confused this time.

"Yes, pleasure to meet you", you smile back and reach out to shake hands and she looks content again, "I am here to pick up my brother."

"Oh, it's so nice to finally meet you!" - Wait, what? - " I am Susan." She shakes your hand again and her forceful friendliness nearly makes you wanna puke.

You hear even more footsteps, faster this time and two boys scoot around the corner of the hallway. It's your brother and what you assume is his new friend.

"Gregory, no running in the house!", Mrs Heffley says with the most authority she seems to muster and the one who's not your brother stops dead in his tracks, "I am afraid it's time the two of you say goodbye for now."

You sigh. Your brother looks far from ready, he's not even wearing his shoes. He looks at you and makes a disappointed face. You just shrug and surpress a yawn.

"Hurry up, buddy", you hear yourself say in a mechanically friendly voice, the tone directed more at Susan than your little brother, "Pack up, Mom's waiting."

He nods and runs up the stairs, Greg following behind him.

"Boys", Susan turns around and smiles a warm and proud Mom-smile, like she has all the patience in the world. You nod and smile. There's nothing more you can do anyways. You don't know shit about kids.

But your parents raised you well and you know a thing or two about being charming and participating in smalltalk. You think it may be time to put that to good use.

"Is Gregory your only child?", you ask, a little voice in the back of your head pushing you. You gotta know, anxiety still thickly thrumming in the back of your head, making you a little dizzy.

"Oh no, no. He has a little brother, Manny, but he is at my mother's place today", she smiles even wider. The younger one is probably her favourite son, even though parents always are quick to claim that favoritism doesn't exist. "And then there's-"

Her eyes scoot away from you, down the street and you hear the squeaking wheels of the white van before you even fully turned around to see it. Your skin turns ice cold and then hot.

Oh no.

"My eldest son, Rodrick. Aren't you in the same year?"

You don't answer. Can't answer, as his van comes to a halt, only seconds away from crashing into your inherited car. You're fuming at his carelessness, but with Susan practically sitting in your neck there's not much you can do.

He throws the door shut and takes a few steps on the gravel towards the house, looking at his phone before he looks up. Your gazes lock.

"What are you doing here?", he spits, surprise dwelling thickly in his voice.

Shut up, Heffley, you don't gotta know. "Picking up my brother", you answer, clenching you teeth.

"Didn't know he was still stuck in Kindergarten", he comes closer.

"Rodrick! Please-", Susan puts on her most scolding tone, but neither of you could care less.

"Why? Missed him there today?", you spit back and he comes to a halt a few steps away. His eyebrows raise a little and there's something sparkling in his eyes but it's gone as quick as it appeared.

You can see, by the way the corner of his lips tilt up, that he's -

"I'm ready, Y/N", you hear a voice behind Susan and Rodrick swallows his comeback. Odd.

You glare at him for another second, only for good measure, not because you're a little too caught up by his stare boring into your eyes.

"Alright buddy, let's go", you say and Susan lets him pass and then there's noise inside the house and she retreats, but not without shooting Rodrick a warning look.

You take your brother's bag and take a few steps down the gravel path before turning back around, only to find Rodrick still looking at you.

"And Heffley?", you hear yourself say, voice raised confidently. You know it's childish, but you just gotta.

He cocks an eyebrow. Motherfucker.

"Go, wash yourself!"

_

It wasn't your greatest roast, you have to admit that. Your hand clenches around the steering wheel in an attempt to not smack you across the face. Deep Purple sings away on your car's radio, while your brother, arms crossed, looks out of the window.

You don't really remember how it all started, the bickering, the insults, the constant fighting to the degree that not only the students, but also the teachers noticed. The only thing you remember is what was, at least for you, the last straw.

Your brother huffs and you look over. You only now realize that he's pouting and you're quick on knowing who to put the blame for your inattention on. Damn you, Heffley.

"Are you okay?", you ask, sounding ruder than anticipated.

"That was so cringe."

You blink, eyes back on the road. One second passes, and another.

"What?", you blurt out.

"You and Greg's brother", he looks at you like you're a little slow, "Cringe." He even spells it.

You stutter a bit out of confusion, before catching up. "Don't say that", you blurt out, sounding a little offended.

"Say what?"

"Cringe", your upper lip curls, "This is not tiktok, weeb."

You look at each other and then laughter fills the air.

"I'm sorry, really. Didn't mean to make a fool out of you", you shrug and he does, too.

You pull up at the red light.

"You didn't make a fool out of me", he says and sounds like a child again, eventhough he's been fourteen since march, "Just out of yourself."

You turn your head to look at him, shake your head in disbelieve. He nods.

"Hey, buddy. I know that wasn't my greatest -"

Now it's his turn to shake his head and there's something ghosting over his expression. Amusement.

"Greg told me that you're all he talks about - his brother, that is. At diner, at breakfast. What you're doing, what you wore, what you said to him."

Your jaw drops.

"What?", you blurt out.

"Yeah, he probably just complains about it, tho", your brother shrugs, watching the light turning from red to yellow and back to green. There's static noise filling your ears and you feel your heartbeat picking up.

That caught you off guard, but the way your body reacts is even more concerning to you. Your fingertips tingle, your blood pumps through your veins. Suddendly, it's a little too warm in the car, with the windows rolled down and the cool autumn breeze rolling in.

Someone behind you honks and it catapults you back to earth, back into the small town's busy traffic and your body jerks. You press down on the gas, speeding the remaining way home.

_

On June 6th 1944 the allied invasion-

Your fingers hover over the keyboard, the white of your laptop's screen drilling into your retinas. You really need to finish the assignment, but you can't focus no matter how hard you try. Something's clouding up your mind, keeping your thoughts away from Operation Neptune. It's been like that for days, since you picked your brother up on monday.

You're all he talks about.

Out of spite? Or because he -

You open a new tab and type quicker than your brain can decide against it. It's stupid, but you can't come up with a better solution. Talking to someone about this is totally off limits. Eventually you find what you're looking for.

10 Signs a guy may be into you!

You click on the link and your phone buzzes on you table. You don't even give it a look, just pick up the incoming call while scrolling.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, Y/N, it's me", it's your best friend and you silently sigh in relief, hearing her voice has a calming effect on you, "I just wanted to apologize."

"For what?", you mumble, currently preoccupied with One: He will follow you on social media!.

"For, y'know, sorta trying to force you to Rodrick's party. If you don't wanna go that's fine."

You smile, while you render numbers three, four and five useless. Maybe you were wrong, maybe your brother got Greg wrong or Greg got it all mixed up. "No need to apologize, really."

"I just felt so horrible-"

Six: He's a tease

He constantly rips on you — in a jokey, not necessarily mean manner — it’s a sure sign that he’s hoping you’ll be teasing him right back in the near future.

You stare blankly at the words on your monitor.

"Y/N? Are you still there?"

It got worse a few weeks before Heather Hills' sixteenth birthday party.

It was impossible to ignore the way he went after her. It didn't hurt you, or at least that was what you're trying to convince yourself of. Maybe, around that time you were crushing, nothing big, just a small, little early high school crush.

But it annoyed you. It annoyed you how he didn't seem to recognize that she just wasn't interested.

And maybe that was what had hurt you. That he didn't realize that you were there all along, that he wouldn't have to bend over backwards to date someone. Thus, you picked a fight whenever you could, trying to expose every little mistake he made. That's when the name calling started, if you were to recall correctly.

That had been two years and one loveless boyfriend to fill the void ago. And you thought you'd left all of that behind, only engaging in roasting him from time to time.

"Yeah, yeah I'm here."

"Like, are you okay?", she sounds concerned, "You don't sound well."

"I, well-", you swallow.

Loosen up a little.

You're all he talks about.

"I- I changed my mind. When's the party again?"

_

You regret your decision approximately half an hour after arriving at the party.

At first, it's better than you expected, really. The music's blasting, the front door's opened and familiar faces are lingering all around the front yard, drinking, laughing and smoking something that smells suspiciously like pot. Your friend spots her boyfriend, who's sharing a blunt with someone from his art class and because you're really trying to loosen up a little you take a hit or two. It's a nice mellow high, that makes you all giggly.

"I'm gonna get us something to drink, y'all wait here", her boyfriend announces and thus, he and your friend vanish into the house. You just stay outside, a little dumbfounded at first, with some kid from art class you know nothing about. But he turns out to be quite easy to be around and quite focused to get into college as well, and thus you chat away for a few minutes while he talks about applying at the Amsterdam University of Arts after the upcoming christmas break. He's nice and friendly, but your conversation turns shallow very quickly and you realize that you're probably too sober for this. It doesn't take long for you to notice that your friend hasn't returned with the promised drinks yet.

"I'm just gonna-", you interrupt him rambling about the symbolism of postmodern art and gesture towards the house, suddendly feeling very alone and left out, "Be right back."

You don't wait for an answer and head towards the stairs. There are some people from your history class and you throw a few friendly Hello's and What are you doing here's at each other before entering the thicket of early 2010s rock music, weed and alcohol. The lights are low, the music is blasting and there are people literally everywhere. You realize that he must've indeed invited the whole year and that the whole year decided to show up.

There are students on the stairs, dancing, chatting, drinking, squeezing through the hallway, that you remember being significantly less crowded a few days prior, coming from one room or enterning another. There's a group of jocks making their way into, what you assume is the living room, one of them holding a lampshade. You blink in confusion and, not knowing where to look for your friend and her boyfriend first, you decide to follow the jocks into the living room, jumping into the keel water they leave behind in the mass of students crowding the house.

It's where the music is the loudest and you spot one of Rodrick's friends, you think his name's Chris, managing the aux cord, surrounded by some seemingly very drunk girls. You roll your eyes at the sight, feeling lightweighted from the pot as you make your way through the dancing crowd. With having no orientation in the house you let yourself being pushed and pulled by the crowd, left and right, body crashing into others. The song ends and another starts playing and you find yourself rather enjoying the Nelly Furtado song, dancing along as someone bumps into you. It's a girl from your english class and she seems to be shit-faced drunk, so can't really judge if she's actually happy to see you or if it's just the alcohol taking over, but she grabs your hand in a friendly manner and you're too high to care.

"I didn't think you'd come, that's so cool!", she smiles brightly but it's too loud and thus, thinking she's offering you something to drink, you just nod and take the cup from her other hand, downing the thick, sweet liquid in two strong gulps. It burns a little in your throat and you cough but she laughs and so do you.

In hindsight that's the moment you will regret in a few more minutes, but right now you're just feeling oddly alive, like the people in those tacky movies seem to always feel like when they party and you find yourself rather enjoying the unfamiliar feeling.

It takes another two songs until you find yourself feeling slightly drunk and singing along the lines with your class mate. The dancing, lack of fresh oxygen in the room and the pot and alcohol pulsing through your veins, mixed with the colourful lights in the dark of the room, make your head spin. You feel light and actually enjoying yourself being a little careless and you hear your friend's voice ringing in your ears ("You finally loosend up!"), as a firm grip closes around your upper arm.

You laugh, suddendly remembering why you went inside in the first place, girlish giggles errupting from your throat. Thinking it's her you turn around in a whirl.

"There you a-", you holler, only to be greeted by someone who doesn't exactly look like your best friend.

The person is so not your friend.

Fuck.

"Fuck!", Rodrick yells back and you make a face, "What are you doing here?"

"What?", you furrow your brows, pointing at your ears, signaling that you can't fucking hear him in the mess that is his party. You can't recall for how long you've been dancing with What's her name but suddendly snapping out of it, it occurs to you that the whole gathering seems a little out of control. You knew that he was a fucking e-boy weirdo, but pulling a whole Project X seems a little much, even for him.

He rolls his eyes at you, leaning forward. He smells of alcohol, weed and tabacco and you want to punch him.

"What are you doing here?", he repeats but you just shake your head, trying to escape his iron hold.

But his hand on your arm tightens and suddendly you're being pulled forward, as he takes you with him. You're leaving the living room the way you came in, but this time he takes you up the flight of stairs. He's angry, or at least you assume he is, by the sheer force he uses to pull you with him. Your body connects with a few elbows and you mutter a few slurred excuses, until you reach another set of stairs. It's a lot quieter here, no people (except someone who looks like they passed out in an armchair) and the music doesn't seem to shatter your eardrums anymore. There's a little light coming from the top of the stairs.

You blink, before angrily shaking off his hand around your arm.

"Don't you fucking touch me!"

"Easy, Missy, watch your language", he scolds, running a hand through his hair, "What are y'doing here?"

"Drinking", you hold up your empty cup and he rolls his eyes.

"Seriously. What the fuck are you doing here, you're not even invited."

"No one is", you hit him back, tone dry.

He clicks his tongue at that, helplessly looking around.

"Why do you bother, Heffley?", you slur a little, "Afraid I might ruin your game with pretty little Heather Hills?"

He looks at you for a moment and you realize that you might've gone too far. But then he laughs.

You never heard him laugh before, never heard his real genuine laughter, apart from his cackling when he insults you. The sound takes you off guard. It's not bad, quite endearing actually, with the way his lips curl and fine lines appear at the corner of his eyes.

You decide to blame it on the alcohol, but you can't help to notice that he's real pretty up close. Especially when he laughs.

You stare at him, blankly and blinking multiple times.

"My god, Y/N", he shakes his head and takes a sip from his beer.

"What's so funny?", you spit.

"Nothing. Just you being as stupid as I thought you were."

You huff out an offended laugh. "Excuse me? Who are you to talk, huh?"

"Dunno", he slurs, wiping a droplet of beer from his mouth with the back of his hand - disgusting, "At least I am not jumping to idiotic assumptions."

"Oh, aren't you just great, Rodrick? Aren't you just so high and mighty? My god, what would earth do without your intellect? Oh, oh! Wait! I know! We wouldn't have to look at your crusty ass trying to fuck girls that are waaay out of your league!" You clap your hands in an ironic matter, like you just solved an intense riddle.

"D'you really think I'm crusty?"

You blink. "Yeah. No. I mean-"

He mimics your stutter, pulling a face at you. You click your tongue and roll your eyes.

"I mean maybe you are, I really don't wanna know. And I don't even have to, because what I do already know is that you're the most unsuccessful eboy-fuckboy conglomerate to ever walk earth."

Rodrick looks at you, aimlessly waving around his bottle, liquid dancing around in it while he nods. "That one - I don't know. You maybe wanna try that again."

"Why?"

"Why?", he mimics you again and you try to hit him on his arm, but he dodges your hand, catches it with his own, "Because that was just la-zy."

"I said-"

"Yeah, I know what you said, princess. Don't bother me again with it, please." And that, that's just unfair. You stare at him, mouth agape and cheeks turning red underneath your make-up and, because your life's just gotta be like that, something in his brain seems to click.

He makes a pouty face and leans down to you, his smell wavering around you and you can see how his eyeliner's all smudged. "Oooh", he sing-songs, "You like that, don't you?"

You shake your head. This feels like sobering up, only that it's worse than actually sobering up. Even though he likes to act like he isn't, Roderick's somewhat smart and he seems to connect the dots pretty quickly. He laughs, it's the cackle, the snickering laughter again. His eyes sparkle with mischief. Oh, you're so fucked.

"Holy shit, little Miss Perfect actually isn't that innocent, huh?", you really want so smack the grin off of his face, but he holds your strong hand in an even stronger, iron grip.

"Shut up."

He snickers again. "Oh, I can't fucking wait to call you that in the hallway. Oh, or in class!", he barks out a laugh and the sound, deep and dark and it makes you hot all over. You hope it's just rage building up.

"It's not what you think it is", you press out between gritted teeth.

"Yeah, no, it is exactly like I think it is", he comes even closer and your noses are mere inches apart.

He smirks and you feel your knees going weak. You know what he's going to say, but when it reaches your ears it still knocks the air out of your lungs.

"Princess", he whispers in a rasp, voice low and tongue gliding over his incisors.

You inhale sharply and his eyes flicker down to your parting lips.

"Fuck you", you whisper weakly and you hear him laugh quietly, buzz at the the way it gets stuck in his throat.

"Jesus, you're so fucking annoying, Y/N", he murmurs, locking gazes with you again.

There are cheers erupting from the living room downstairs and you're pretty sure they are playing early 2000s pop music now, but you can't bring yourself to care. His eyes are so so dark and they pull you in, his hand oddly warm around your wrist.

"I hate you", you say quietly, "I hate you so much, Rodrick." It's more to remind yourself of it than to convince him, really. He immediately catches on.

"Doubt it", he rapid fires back.

"You better believe it."

"You're giving me quite a hard time at that."

You swallow, his gaze locks with your throat, glides back up. There's a long pause between the two of you and then -

"You wanna fuck?"

You blink dumbfounded. Once, twice and a third time as your body betrays you and you fucking nod.

At that, he slowly starts pushing you backwards and the small of your back hits the handrail of the stairs.

"Need you to say it", Rodrick murmurs, eyes trained on your lips, like he has a really hard time pulling himself together, "Wanna hear you say it, princess."

Your mouth runs dry and your loins catch fire. You swallow as his lips ghost over yours.

"Yeah", you breathe out, "Yeah, fuck, I want to."

They lock and he tastes of cheap cigarettes and beer and weed and you lean into it and backwards just the same, into the arm that sneaks around your waist. Rodrick's lips are soft and gentle, while being in a heated rush to get the most of you. He's a surprisingly good kisser and the little voice in the back of your head nags at the question Why?, but you can't bring yourself to care.

He pushes you up the stairs, lips pressed onto yours, wandering down your neck and leaving a trail of warm kisses there, teeth plucking at the soft skin.

"'S gonna be real good, gonna make it real good for ya", he drawls and your breath hitches, right as you reach the top step. He parts from you for a second to climb it as well, before his hands are on you again. You recognize the attic as what it most likely is: his room. It's a little messy, warm wood and band posters everywhere, one lonely floor lamp trying its best to illuminate the dark room. It's surprisingly cozy.

His fingertips sneak under the soft fabric of your favourite top and they are warm and your skin tingles as they make contact. He gently guides you backward, until the back of your knees touch his mattress and you let yourself sink into its soft fabric, as he climbs on top of you.

"Shit", you hear him huff while he hovers over you, looking at you from heavy lidded eyes. Rodrick's hands push your top up and wander underneath it, gripping your waist and feeling you up. His touch is warm and firm and as your gazes lock once more, like he's looking for confirmation. And then he's suddendly fierce with it, too. He quickly pulls the top over your head and his lips meet your throat again, sucking and nibbling at the warm skin while he's grinding down on you. Your blood pulses underneath his lips and he groans as you bury your fingers in his dark hair, gasping for air.

One of his hands snake around your back and making quick work of your bra, carelessly discarding it into the mess of his room, while his lips follow quickly, closing in around your left nipple.

His hands graze up your body, thumbs caressing your stomach, ribs and then one reaches out, closes in around your right breast, gently squeezing it before running a thumb over your nipple. You breathe out, one hand resting on his neck, the other still buried in his hair. His teeth bite down gently, his thumb and forefinger rolling the other nipple between them.

You moan quietly, a little shy even, while your legs spread around him, your body giving in and giving him more space. His crotch grinds down against yours and you can feel his hard dick pressing against you. It makes you flush.

"Wanna fucking taste you", he murmurs, tongue toying with your hardened nipple, leaving a tingle deep down in your stomach, that wanders down down down and between your legs. His words make your head swim.

"Please", you whisper and he grins against your warm skin, hand snaking back down your body while his lips close around your right nipple, giving it the same treatment.

He lets go off it with an obsence pop, as his hand reaches your trousers, opening them quickly and placing one hand against your crotch. You know you're wet already and you know that he'll feel it, too. Rodrick's gaze meets yours and his eyes are dark with lust as he rubs the palm of your hand over your dampened panties.

"You beg so prettily, huh", he hums and you groan, rubbing yourself against his hand.

"A-always for you", you choke out before you can stop yourself, while his fingers pull your panties to the side, circling your entrance.

Your hips buck and you groan at the cold touch, nearly whine as he pulls them away again. The mattress creaaaks as he moves onto his knees, patting your hips. "Up", he commands and you follow, only for him to pull down both, your pants and underwear in one swift motion, before taking his own shirt off. It starts to dawn on you, that you may have underestimated him and it makes your blood tingle with excitement.

His thumb rubs over your pubic bone, where dark hair's dusted all over your skin and wanders down, rubbing just right above your clit, the motion pulling it's hood back and forth.

"Shit, Rodrick, please", your voice is buried deep in your throat and goosebumps start to raise all over your naked body, while he positions himself between your legs, propping your tailbone up on one of his knees, your legs dangling uselessly at his sides.

Two of his fingers sneak up your vagina, parting its lips carefully, while his thumb wanders down, slowly rubbing large circles over your clit. He watches your pussy growing wetter for a moment, until he bows his head down, forcing your gaze to keep it locked with his.

Spit dribbles down his lips and onto your clit, making you moan at both, the sensation and the view. He spits once more, his saliva running down your lips and pooling at your hole, while he scoots back a little and licks over you clit, spreading his slick.

"Shit", you curse, feeling your abdomen tighten, warmth spreading in you loins. Rodrick's hands wander to you thighs, gripping them and guiding your hips back onto the matress. His mouth follows the movements, tongue toying with your clit, sending waves of pleasure through your body. It's far from enough, but it feels so so so good.

"Feels good?", you hear him ask and you nod feverishly, hand darting out, catching his wrist. His gaze shoots up and he grins at you. Smug bastard.

"Gonna have you moaning like a whore for me", he whispers and you wonder if he's shy about the fantasy that hides behind it. Your eyelids flutter and your head lolls back a little bit, before you hear your pressed voice, surpressing a moan, ushring out: "Have fun trying, Heffley."

It spurrs him on and has him delving deeper into your folds, tongue licking, swiping and circling your clit, wandering along your folds and lips and only to see you squirm beneath him.

It's wonderful and you find yourself encouraging him, and at some wicked, cursed point one of his hands lets go of your thighs, fingers lacing into yours.

"My god", you groan and your fingers clench around his bedding, the other hand tugging at his, squeezing it, "Shit."

He chuckles and slowly letting go of your other leg, one finger teasing your hole before carefully pushing in. You whine and push towards him. Rodrick starts fucking into you with his finger, curling its digits along your spongy and warm walls and pushing liquid out of and back into you, slowly but steadily prepping you for him, before sliding in a second finger. He stills for a moment, before slowly spreading them apart, making you moan. Your body shudders.

"'S all good", Rodrick murmurs against your folds, his tongue licking a fat and wet stripe over them, all the way down to your clenching hole, "You're doing great, good girl."

You whine and nod and you hear him chuckle, slowly pushing another, third finger into you. His tongue swipes over your clit, before wrapping his lips around it once more, sucking. You close your eyes and roll your hips, as he nestles his digits deep into you. You can feel yourself tightening around them and loose control, as it suddendly feels like you're trying to pushing them out. You gasp for air as wetness floads your folds and he groans against them.

A whiny Rodrick leaves your mouth and your eyes snap open in disappointment as his lips part from pussy, huffing out a silent fuck.

"Atta girl. Been waiting for so long", he hums quietly, "Gonna fuck your pretty brains out." His thumbs grazes over your clit and your hips buck as you watch how he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, again. It's not beer this time, but your glistening juices and he grins at you.

You throw your head back and arch into his touch, wanting more, any sort of friction but his strong grip closes around your thigh and holds your legs open, parted for him. Rodrick's thumb graces over your fingers, that are intertwined with his.

"You're on the pill, right?", he asks, lips buried on the soft flesh of your thighs. You can feel the remaining wetness that your squirting left on his lips and chin smearing across your skin.

"Uh-huh", is all that leaves your mouth, eyelids fluttering.

"C'mon, princess. You can do better than that", he tsks.

"Y-yes", you breathe out and his touch leaves your body. You want to complain, straightening your back a little to take a look at what's taking him so long, but you can already hear his belt buckle clink and the ziiip of his jeans and as your gaze finally meets his form, he's pulling himself out of his boxers. Your mouth waters and you try to scramble on your knees but he's quicker - pushes you back down so forecfully your tits bounce with the impact of your body hitting the mattress, hand on your hips.

"Shh, calm down angel. You're really hungry for it, huh?", Rodrick grins his signature smile at you, but it's rather soft and maybe even a little fond, "Such a little slut. Gonna give it to you in a minute, girl. You'll be alright."

He gets rid of his boxers and wraps one hand around himself, slooowly jerking himself, looking down at your spread form on his bed, chest heaving and flushed. The head of his cock is already a little wet and he takes his thumb, smears the precum all over it, grinning at the way your eyes follow his movements.

"Need you", you stretch your hand out aimlessly and to your genuine surprise, he takes it.

"Got you", he whispers as you spread your legs, one hand around his dick, pushing it into you slowly. His head spreads you delightfully and you hum as he pushes further, deeper, coming to a halt as he's fully sheathed by you.

"Fuck, you feel so good", his hand squeezes yours and you mewl as he starts so pull back, thrusting deep into you. He watches the way he vanishes into your tight hole, his pubic hair already slightly dampened by your wetness.

Your mouth falls agape and you watch the muscles in his stomach clench as he starts to pick up a quicker pace.

The sound of skin slapping on skin fills the air and mingles sweetly with you high pitched moans and his deep grunting, your name falling off his lips occassionally. His pace turned quick and ruthless after only a few deep thrusts but it's just not enough, you feel so full but something's missing.

"Wait, wait", you pant and your hand lands on his shoulder with a loud slap and he still momentarily.

"Yeah? You good, shit you good? Did I hurt you?", his cheeks are flushed and sorrow lines his eyes.

You are quick to shake your head. "No, no", you squirm beneath him, cheeks flushing as with what you're about to say, "I need more."

His brows furrow for a quick moment before the corners of his lips tilt upwards. "Shit, nasty little slut", his hand grazes over your body once more, between your breasts, over your stomach and abdomen, before hooking around your thigh, slowly pulling out of you. He lets go off your hand and helps you onto your knees, gently kneading the flesh of your ass.

"Fuck, you're so pretty", he sighs as he pushes back into you, until the head of his dick pushes flush against your cervix.

"Fuck, yes that's it", you huff out and hear him chuckle deeply behind you.

Rodrick, abandoning his former pace, starts to slowly fuck you, taking his time and thrusting deeply. You stretch out beneath him, with one of his hands on your hip, fingers digging into his pillow. It feels marvelous, how he hits you spongy walls, the way it makes your muscles clench around him.

He carefully starts to build up his pace again, keen on making this last as long as possible. But you have other plans and start pushing back against him, in an effort to coax him into a faster rhythm.

He grunts and suddendly there's something making sharp contact with your ass, skin stinging slightly. You can't hold back the moan that bubbles over your lips at that, quickly turning into a high whine, as you press back into him.

"Yeah, shit", he laughs out of breath, "Thought you'd like that."

The grip on your hip tightens as his control comes loose and he ruts into you, hand coming down on your ass a couple more times, until you're a moaning mess underneath him, squirming and clenching around him.

"Fuck, gonna cum", he groans and his thrusts turn more sloppy, hand reaching to your front, a sole finger rubbing your clit. It doesn't take much more than that to get your overstimulated nerves to give in and you cum, heavily clenching around his dick. It sends him over, too and he nearly collapses on top of you. Your legs shake as he pulls out of you and you feel his cum leaking out of your hole. Slowly, you collapse down onto his mattress, but you couldn't care less as your eyes fall shut and you roll on your side, facing the stairs. You're exhausted and the noises from downstairs only faintly reach your ears. Everything feels and sounds far far away.

As you slowly fade back to reality you realize that the party downstairs is still a rager and relief washes over your blissed out state. You're glad no one seemed to had noticed.

The mattress dips next to you and then there's an arm around your waist.

"Still hate me?", you hear his coarse voice whisper into your neck, cold nose nuzzling against your warm, sweaty skin.

You yawn, totally fucked out, but with a warm, fuzzy feeling tingling in your stomach. You'll both would have to get dressed soon, to head back down, but you'll need a couple more minutes.

"Yeah", you mutter but he only laughs at that.

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