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iridessence · 9 months

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I would like to take a moment to acknowledge myself and say that I am elated and proud to have manifested some of my major goals since 2018-2019. Basically before then, 2014-16 I struggled with depression and suicidal ideation quite frequently due to not having steady income, as jobs in retail seemed the only available and “safe” options, but long shifts standing at a registers or posts were damagingly hard on my body. In 2017 I got a desk job that set me on the path of financial stability and reduced physical load, which did absolute wonders for my mental health but it was an absolute blight to my existence over time due to terrible management and the usual corporate garbage. I knew that staying there was fine for a time but not sustainable in the long run, so change must come eventually.

also around then, I continued to explore self portraiture and personal style but I really wanted to perform/create Burlesque acts and book them, and invest in and actually have choreography/technique and beautiful costume pieces that looked like the visions refining themselves in my head through research. I was also perpetually struggling in the dating sphere with the deficit of romantic fulfillment that I deeply wanted. and while they weren’t hostile, things were definitely weird with my family (dysfunctional, literal small town energy, upset that I didn’t want to be around them more in the suburbs but lots of interpersonal toxicity and lack of emotional growth).

I knew that in the coming years I wanted to…

quit my soul sucking job and set out to be a full-time or at least professional level burlesque performer, creating the qualitative and classic show girl acts I dream to see on stage

work on the floor at a boutique or mom-and-pop type shop that sells goods or services that are interesting to me, especially aesthetically, such as an antique shop or a jewelry boutique etc., but a place where I could sit intermittently as needed for my physical disability. Also, ideally it would be a position where I could express myself through style at my choosing and it would be received well, and also my hours would not be very early or very late.

find a loving and supporting partner who I could lavish equal amounts of love and support on to, live with and hopefully marry

Achieve/maintain financial stability enough that I have a reduced risk for homelessness and sometimes treat myself to things that I enjoy.

Figure out why the relationship with my family was such a struggle and do things within my power and desire to fix it.

In a world that isn’t a corporate machine devoid of empathy, none of that seems like a tall order to ask… but I live in America so… It took some time, but I’m starting to see the fruits and returns. Honestly sometimes things feel like a blur and I’m not exactly sure I could say there was a huge system to what I did overtime to make it work, but I know the work was there.

As of today, September 9, 2023:

I am a respected professional burlesque performer with costumes I figuratively gag over and acts that come closer and closer to hitting the aesthetic nail on the head for what I want to embody. (I quit that shitty desk job at the beginning of 2019 and haven’t looked back since. Sent a whole ass company wide message with a long and detailed “fuck you” too.😂🙈)

i’ve managed through burlesque, social media work, donations and savings, and —since the global pandemic—,odd jobs and grants/minimal loans, to continuously pay rent and ward off homelessness

I live with the love of my life, to whom I am engaged and actively planning our wedding (we looked at a venue yesterday!)

I’ve helped my mom on the growth of her emotional intelligence and commitment to learning more about values under the race, gender, and sexuality umbrella, as well pushed her to examine the enabling and entitlement dynamics with her adult children that take advantage of her. While my relationship with my brother and sister is not great, my relationship with my mom has been steadily getting better since the pandemic. we had a breakthrough at the beginning of this year where she acknowledged and apologized for guilt tripping me for not being around the family more, when I was (she quoted) “actually protecting myself like she should have been.”

and litcherally within the past week I was offered the job at a local boutique I interviewed with a year ago and didn’t get, and I signed an offer letter to begin work within the month.

To say I’m happy with the way things look right now is an understatement. The world still terrifies me, but I have no choice but to carve out a sliver of its beautiful experiences for myself, and I am doing just that. It may not be perfection, but it’s pretty damn good and I’m going to do everything in my power to keep it that way and make it even better. I am living my ancestors' wildest dreams!!

for anyone reading who might be struggling right now to make things work, I hope you hold on to hope that it can get better. A beautiful life is possible even on this hell scape, even for the marginalized.

#text post #life #faq #long post #well long-ish

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ivyjupiterwrites · 3 months

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TW: Slight mentions of blood & violence

"Roach, I need to use your phone." Panicking the sgt handed his phone over and sat there while Ghost did what he needed to. As the seconds lurched forward, he couldn't help feeling that Ghost was doing more than just 'looking at something'. And much to his dismay, of course he was correct.

(I like to think of it like when your Dad asks for your phone 'to do something' then just goes on a lil cruise, cause privacy is irrelevant.)

"What the fucking hell are these pictures?" well that certainly wasn't the first thing Roach had been expecting him to dig up, but they were just hanging out in his gallery.

Ah yes.

The pictures.

The ones he had taken--of you, for you, at your request because you were doing something on the side. That being selling photos and videos to whom he could only assume were weirdos--considering how much they paid to see you drizzled in fake blood with skimpy lingerie.

"Ummm they're pictures of (y/n)?" Was Roach's weakly uttered response, not really knowing what else to say. There wasn't anything more in his mind that could be said.

"No shite." Ghost spat in return, he could blatantly see that--he had been wondering more so about the nature of the photos.

"Listen," explaining the best he could, Roach motioned toward his phone that was still firmly grasped in Ghosts hand. "She called me up, she asked me to come over and take photos. It ended up being this." he gestured to you, half undressed in a patch of greenery with fake blood squirted all over you. "And now that you've reminded me, I have to send those to her and delete them. They keep jump scaring me every time I open my damned camera roll--and giving me nightmares."

"What're they for?" when Ghost didn't hand the phone back, Roach begun to internally chuckling to himself. While only posing quite small questions, Roach knew when his lieutenant was intrigued.

Even if it was the slightest bit.

Ghost was a strictly need to know kind of man, if he didn't want to know, he wouldn't of asked. That was the basis he went off of for nearly everything, and it made life much easier for Roach.

Ghost was a man of pure minimalism. Conversation or otherwise.

"Well look who's a curious lil kitty cat~" not sharing the same regard for his teasing humour, Roach carried on as he received a rather nasty glower. "it's some sorta side thing she does, for like cults and stuff she gives them photos...Ya know, I'm not really totally all that sure, she just promised they paid well. That I would be compensated for my time served."

"I see." Was his superiors response, then Ghost was quiet. Staring down at one of your pictures for a thoughtful moment before flipping through a few more. "If I told you I could make you go missing, how scared would you be?"

"Very. And would 110% believe you. Why?" Eyes flickering around nervously, Roach then lurched back from the darkly brooding man dramatically. "Oh Jesus... You've already decided haven't you?--I'm already dead aren't I?"

"No." He shook his head, "not yet."

"Anything I can do for you to stay on the particularly alive side of life?" The sgt offered in consolation, if there were anyway to sweeten the deal he'd do it.

(He's picturing how he's seen Ghost do shit like this and S W E A T I N G.)

"Send me these," Ghost handed him back his phone as nonchalantly as possible; yet the smouldering rage in his brown eyes that sent a polar shiver down Roach's spine suggested otherwise. "and never tell a damn soul about it--including (y/n)."

"Sir yessir." Saluting him Roach hustled away from the scarier than hell lieutenant, snickering to himself while he sent Ghost the requested goods.

Of course this would be his thing.

#simon ghost riley #call of duty #gary roach sanderson #cod 141 #141 x reader #task force 141 #tf 141 x reader #tf 141 #mw2 141 #ghost simon riley #ghost cod #roach cod #tf141 #simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader

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wonderer399 · 11 days

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Sebastian : Why he is Perfect for Ciel

Ever since I was in the black butler back in 2015, I was like 17 years old...I was obsessed with BB...I shipped Sebaxciel very hard, I still do and will continue to do it and none of your petty 'anti' opinions will make me change my mind like ever. You are free to judge me and I will judge you 'anti' back as well...You guys think that you are being 'self righteous' ? Tbh in reality you guys exactly sound like 'Alicent Hightower' from 'House of the Dragon' after she was living her miserable life with her 3 annoying kids and had to stick her nose into Rhaenera's bussiness because her 'morals' goes against what Rhaenera was doing....Therefore, stop being annoying and you guys better keep your own opinion to yourselves...I'm 25 now...and I will still ship SebaXciel..until my last breath...I may start the fandom very late , however I have more sense and adulting going on my brain to judge what is 'right' and what is 'wrong'...and what should be kept in the 'greyzone'

I have always defended Sebastian, still do and will always be defending him because he deserves it. Sebastian and Ciel both NEED each other. You guys might think Sebastian NEEDS ciel more...its the other way around ..CIEL NEEDS SEBASTIAN and without Sebastian HE CAN NOT SURVIVE A DAY WITHOUT BEING KIDNAPPED!!!!! OR WORSE BEING KILLED!!!! SEBASTIAN IS CIEL'S LIFE SUPPORT!!!

Sebastian keeps to be surprisingly being 'Kind' towards 'Ciel' by every chapter and each chapter their bond becomes stronger than ever, mostly because due to Agni's influence. And I remember exactly Ciel saying that 'If my soul He wants, then I will make sure to get my revenge properly'...Ciel KNOWS what did he sign up for with sebastian !!! CIEL MAY LOOK LIKE A CHILD ...BUT MENTALLY HE CAN SELL ADULTS IN THE BLACK MARKETS 10 TIMES WITHOUT ANY HESITATION THOSE WHO ARE AGAINST HIM ....He is that cunning!!! We have seen Ciel's Kind side as well...Ciel and Sebastian both knows when and to whom to be 'cunning' or 'Kind'...Both Sebastian and Ciel are Extremely Extremely cunning and will and does 'BEND' the rules of the game at their own advantage through their extremely calculated and refined dirty tricks and schemes ....Playing fair is not their 'concern' ... but 'winning' is ....if Ciel is the 'King' in the Chessplayer, Sebastian is the Ultimate Cheat code and Chessboard in the game ....and pawns are the other characters ....Sebastian can't be the pawn ...Sebastian simply sets up the helpful environment for Ciel to win...Sebastian simply assists Ciel in his own game ....

Sebastian is the STRICTEST, SMARTEST, GENTLEST and NICEST ( may not be the kindest ...but he is still trying his best ...he gives me more like 'TOUGH LOVE' vibes your asian households will give off ) guy to be able pull up with all of Ciel's bratty tantrums .... ( if you even dare to give off the same exact attitude to your parents as Ciel does to sebby time to time....In the white household you won't be affected that much but in the black/latina/asian household, parents will start beating with flipflops no more attitudes.... compared to that Ciel is in 'heaven' as Sebby keeps tolerating ) Sebastian STAYS with Ciel through thick and thin ...Sebby never EVER abondons Ciel ( I don't count filler episodes of season 1 because its not Cannon ) ....Sebby is not that kind of 'mannerless' character who would force himself into 'Ciel's' arm ..sebby HIGHLY VALUES MANNERS,GRACEFULNESS and AESTHETICS...Sebby knows his self worth... we even see sebby getting 'blushed' cheeked whenever ciel compliments him for his good work and that what motivates sebby to stay with ciel through their journey together...they both appriciate, tolerate, they get and understand each other and the same time they are very fond of each other as well...

In the emerald witch arc, it is very evident that when sebby saw ciel was at his worst state ...sebby gone mad and destroyed the entire german military single handedly...ciel is very PRECIOUS to him...once ciel realized how sad Sebby would have felt when he kept rejecting sebby touch...after waking up from psychic trauma, Ciel immidiately compansated sebby with constantly 'touching' sebby 'affectionately' ...its like the two lovers being aparted for wayy too long and when they meet again, they can't let go of each other that easily...their bond just keeps getting stronger...and yall antis be burning lol ...because we shippers got the latest TEA DATE in the chapter 212 !! in the victorian era it was not 'acceptable' to sit 'butlers' and 'noble man' together ...let alone sipping tea and flirting with each other...its so sad that you guys don't like something that's fine! ...but don't dictate us and don't rubb your moral dicks into our faces ...keep it in your pockets

SEBA X CIEL IS THE GREATEST UNCONDITIONAL LOVE SHIP EVER!!! THIS IS THE PUREST FORM OF LOVE !!! SEBBY LOVES CIEL FOR HIS SOUL POTENTIAL REGARDLESS OF HIS GENDER OR HIS AGE!! SEBBY IS WILLING TO WAIT FOREVER AS LONG AS IT TAKES FOR CIEL TO TAKE HIS REVENGE!!! SEBBY RESPONDED TO CIEL'S CALLING IN THE 1ST PLACE !!

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #sebastian michaelis #proship #sebaciel #yaoi bl

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titanic-angel · 11 months

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мιgυel o'нara х ғ!reader

⁎︎✴︎ adronιтιѕ 1 ✴︎⁎︎

ѕynopѕιѕ ➪︎ мιgυel o'нara нaѕ a ѕтrange, claѕѕιғιed reqυeѕт oғ yoυ. нιм, and нιѕ dιgιтal aѕѕιѕтanт, lyla.

warnιngѕ ➪︎ swearing

noтeѕ ➪︎ enιмιeѕ тo coworĸerѕ тo ғrιendѕ тo loverѕ ѕlowвυrn ! ongoιng, υpdaтeѕ вeтween every ғew day

▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂▂︎◣︎◥︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎

She chose you because of your name.

Lyla was a program, a buzzing core of digits and code, analytics her only language. It was unlike her to go by her heart, because she didn’t have one.

But she wanted one.

The heat of skin, eyes that could look, really look, at someone. The softened hair under her finger tips- printed with a map of grooves and lines that separated her from every other. She wanted the individuality that a human body could give, and that her pixels would never achieve.

Miguel made the mistake of giving Lyla a mind of her own, because now she wanted a body to match.

After pulling a difficult, relentless, and borderline maddening attitude for years, he finally gave into her wishes, under a condition.

Only one engineer.

The creation she asked for, the mockery of humanity, could take forever, even with her limitless knowledge and Miguel’s high tech and steady hands. But despite this, Miguel refused her a team of engineers to conjure a body that would make history. In order to prevent an overlap of his secrets and the real world, Lyla was to choose only one individual who could make her a body, and keep a secret.

An individual, who, had a lovely name.

You’re transcripts were impressive enough, but not recognized; so that when you were to be snuffed, stolen under fluorescent yellow lights, the only memory left would be that of a keycard scanner.

Its ironic, that a senseless A.I made her decision off feeling. But she saw youth in your eyes, a harsh comparison the age and wisdom that spoke in purples under your lashes. It was overwhelming, the amount of life you had ahead of you, a mortality characterized by the dismal way it said goodbye. But Lyla craved it, a madwoman of science and self.

A collection of illusions that was foolish enough to believe it could be anything, something, else.

Hope is a drug.

So, addicted, she said, “her.”

Miguel would pause, eyes roaming the expanse of your face, the smile in your eyes, the taint on your teeth, your tongue, the crevices of you jaw. His clicked, eyes doubtful.

But Lyla’s were resolute.

“I want her.”

▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂▂︎◣︎◥︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎

Vague.

It was a font that thrived in obfuscated shadows. It was limitless in its unknown, clouded by things that should’ve been said, or instructions never specified.

Your pathetic heart clung to every word that stuck itself to an stark white screen, palpitations thrumming against your tonsils.

Staring back at you, an email from Miguel O’Hara, that read simply, vaguely, Meet at my office at 4:00 PM.

Your distaste for the font had now only grown.

It was impossible to work at Alchemax and not to hear his name praised at least once. Interns, employees from every felid, article after article were relentless in their awe of the man’s work.

But you weren’t stupid.

You were an observer. You knew at least fifty people who would claw him apart, sell their soul to the underworld, sacrifice an eye and ear to sit where he does, most of whom are just as qualified for the position.

That doesn’t exclude you.

It was something you despised about the company, it’s big gestures of gratitude to those with a name- only to turn with a gloved hand to feed the hogs, the greasy and bloodied heart of the operation, messily scraps.

But much like a farm animal, you were trapped in by a pen of promise and chance.

You were a pig with her farmer, believing even under the cleaver that she would see the bigger field on the other side of the fence. That gamble for praise, a trophy and a house to put it in.

But Miguel wasn’t just a pig.

He was the show hog. Big blue bows, pretty golden plaques and a pillow to sleep on.

But at the end of the day, he was fed the same slop, just in a different trough.

Even so, he had it all. He had everything you didn’t.

Well, everything but email etiquette.

So you, frantic in the newness, clung to your bag, heavy with uncertainty. You brought everything you needed- or didn’t. Papers from 2 weeks ago, two years ago, updates and criticisms, research and theories. It all felt so, infuriatingly, unsteady.

You despised your leniency, your willingness to play along. But you blamed Miguel even more. It was embarrassing for you, to run down flights of stairs on a whim. Foolishly you ask yourself who does he think he is, despite knowing the answer.

Given, you had never met the man. He was similar to the newness of the space, a gap, a tear in the pages of Alchemax’s directory, the hazy profile in your inbox a mere pixel of his program. But you could already smell his dismissiveness, his arrogance.

You of course, could’ve made the executive decision, having a mind of your own, to ignore the email (if not out of spite, out of fear).

But maybe the whispers of his name intrigued you. Maybe, you had read the articles written about him offhandedly, jealous, but impressed. Maybe, shamefully, your curiosity was strong than your own resolve, willing to bend and mold into the shape of those 6 words and a time because you wanted to know the why.

His demand, written with so little grace or gratitude, had been met, when your labored breath fanned across the white doors.

You knocked, because you had manners.

When the white door opened, you came to the realization that nothing, not even a high resolution photo, could do his presence justice.

His head nearly touched the door, soft tufts of brown hair falling wildly, exhaustedly, over his ears. High cheekbones at a sharp angle, hollowing out his cheeks in a faint shadowed line. A mouth that looked gentle, despite its creased frown. The valley of his skin was rough and uneven, granular creases of age digging into the space under his nose, his mouth, his eyes.

They were a deep brown; almost red under the overhead lights, wandering above your head, before looking at you with an intensity that made your swallow hard.

The lab coat and dress shirt were flattering around his shoulders, the cotton molding to his massive gate like elastic. They stiffened at the sight of you, breath heavy and pink cheeked, before he released a sharp sigh when his gaze moved to the clock above your head.

4:02

“You’re late.” That wasn’t a lie.

“You we’re vague.” But that wasn’t either.

“I said my office” he said, stepping to the side, gesturing you to walk in (or, to his office to prove his point, either one made your teeth grit).

You followed his arm in. On his wrist, a patch of discoloration- the bruise yellow in contrast to warm brown.

Strange.

You’re eyes began to make sense of your surroundings. White walls, sparse pictures, a desk, two chairs, two computers, stray wires and scraps.

It was similar to a doctors office- suffocating, boring, unsettling.

“You didn’t say why,” you glanced at one of the only framed papers on the wall, a certificate declaring him as the head of research regarding anti-matter.

You hated to admit it, but his name looked good on paper.

“Miguel.”

You heard his tongue click before he sat down at his desk behind you. “Mr. O’Hara is fine.”

You laughed, turning to him with a sneer. “You’re clinically insane if you think I’m going to refer to you by Mr.”

He motioned for the seat in front of him. You stayed where you were. He narrowed his eyes, “it’s proper etiquette.”

You laughed again. For his arrogance, he was funny. “Don’t talk to me about etiquette. You still haven’t debriefed why I walked a marathon to get to your office.”

We’re you being a little harsh? Absolutely. But people like him, demanding, flippant, who liked to play boss; they used employees (who were just as if not more talented than they were) as their pawns. Employees like you.

You has no issue with the label bitter. It accurately describes your attitude towards most of the head-of’s at Alchemax.

Truthfully, the rise and fall of his shoulders and his rugged edges made you nervous.

But you weren’t a piece of meat in his teeth.

You refused to be the shaking fawn. But you knew you’d never be the wolf sitting across from you.

So you became the hunter willing to shoot both.

He sighed, a harsh sound that vibrated your ribs. “Please just…sit down.”

“I’m fine standing, thanks.”

He rubbed his temples, muttering incoherent Spanish under his breath. “Why must you be so difficult?”

You opened your mouth to respond, but then you felt the air spark.

The hairs on the back of your neck prickled, fingernails digging into your palms, threatening blood. It was paralyzing, the sudden scent of bleach being replaced by, if it counted, the smell of yellow.

“You’re no fun Miguel, that’s why. She is, though.”

In your paralysis, you found the strength (or bravery) to move you head to your left, eyes fuzzy but alert, in an attempt to place a face to the yellow.

When you did, she was grinning.

You stifled a scream, lodged in your throat, scraping at your tongue, heavy. She giggled, turning upside down.

“Hello there.”

▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂▂︎◣︎◥︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎▂︎

“This is my digital assistant, Lyla,” he sighed, “she likes to make an entrance.”

She blinked.

“Holy fuck.” You whispered.

You had finally (reluctantly) took a seat per earlier request, thighs pressed together and, by anxious habit, picking your stray thumb skin. It was loose off your nail, flimsy under your subconscious fidget.

Currently, it was one of the only forms of control you had over the situation. You couldn’t really process if it should feel comforting, or unsettling.

Miguel’s stale gaze made that decision for you.

You cleared your throat.

“Did you make…her?” Now you just felt stupid. The look they both gave you didn’t help.

“Short answer…yes. I made her. But she-“

“I eventually just started updating myself until I became the gorgeous, stunning lady before you!” She said, grinning at you brightly, expectantly. You nodded, cautious.

“I see. So,” you turned to Miguel, “i think if you’re experiencing issues with…” you paused, looking at the hologram. She glitched, and smiled, “Lyla.”

You nodded, again. “Right, Lyla. I won’t be of much help. I’m an engineer, not an A.I expert, so if you need assistance-“

“But you can help!” Lyla flashed in front of you and, startled, your ripped the skin tag clean off.

Ow.

She stood (floated) on the table in front of you. Suddenly, yellow and orange squares appeared around you, and once the glaze of obscurity was blinked away, you realized they were your files.

Your photo, the research in your bag, and the ones you left at your desk. Hell, as you looked closer you noticed school records, family photos and their records.

It all stared back at you, a clarity that made you feel nauseous.

“Listen, kid,” she paused, her glitching body coming to your nose, finally making your vision break from the screens, “I don’t like being in this form anymore than you do. My beautiful mind deserves more than,” she motioned to herself, “this.”

Your mouth felt dry. If you knew where this was going-

“Two years ago,” a small square came to the center, “you worked on a robot. But not just some science fair, miniature, boring robot.”

Her eyes shimmered, brighter than the rest of her body.

“A robot that looked human.”

She scrolled through the article, the one that on release had made you cringe, “given, it was unsuccessful, but it’s detailing, it’s functions, they felt-”

She turned to you, and suddenly all your life disappeared from around your chair, leaving you in the dim light with Lyla’s silhouette.

She glitched, and for a moment you saw the humanity in her yellow. Somewhere, deep within the pixels, she was-.

“Real. I want to be real. And you’re going to help me.”

You paused. “I am?”

She laughed. “Well I hope so!” She threw her arms out, gesturing at the, now gone, files, “you could redeem yourself!”

You’re nose wrinkled. “I don’t need to redeem anything. My work-“

“Was a failure,” you winced, “that article still stains your reputation here at Alchemax, and I’m positive it’s the reason a mind as bright as yours is not higher up here.”

Even if it hurt to hear aloud, the truth always hurts. She was right. That experiment years ago lived and breathed down your neck. Now, you play a desperate game of catch up with the mistake that got a mile ahead of you before you took one step.

You sighed. “Fine. I’ll bite. What do you need me to do.”

“Make me a body.”

You laughed, startled at how simply she put it. “Sorry Lyla- that’s just…well it’s near impossible.”

“You’ve done it before.”

“And I failed, as you so gently pointed out.” You hated how hopeless you sounded when you said it, how you belittled yourself. But once again, the truth hurts.

“But you won’t this time.”

She hovered over your finger tips, smiling gently up at you. “We can help each other. I want a body, and you want a good reputation. If you build this for me…”

“We both win.” You finished.

She grinned. “Exactly.”

You groaned, your head falling to look at your lap. Your thumb still throbbed at the place you picked at your skin, the pinkish flesh stinging in the stale air. You wondered why Lyla wanted this- the fragility and the vulnerability that came with being…alive.

It was fleeting and it was calloused, a worn down tapestry that kept the face of agony and regret painfully clear, even as the rest of its body faded with time and age.

But you supposed, that there was a beauty in it. An untouched phenomenon- life wasn’t permanent, but it was special.

The grass is greener on the other side.

“Alright.”

Lyla laughed, leaping up to your nose.

“So you’ll help?”

“Yes. But what’s the catch.”

Her head tilted.

Your gaze moved to Miguel.

Despite his silence throughout this whole discussion, his analytic stare did not move from your face. It dug into your skin, his silence louder than any roar he could conjure. It’s animosity overwhelmed your skull, making the words that left your clenched throat hoarse and weak.

“What’s the catch.”

His chest rumbled in what you (hoped) believed to be a sigh, shouldered slumping. “You can’t…tell anyone during the process. You’ll be paid, but it’s classified information. No one can know what your doing.”

You almost stood up and left.

There wasn’t any pride, any joy in your work unless there was credit. Of course, scientific and engineering discoveries weren’t fueled by the promise of history, but you were a fool if you believed it wasn’t part of the process.

Michelangelo didn’t paint the Sistine Chapel to have people simply walk under his ceiling.

He wanted them to break their own necks to admire it.

But, a part of you hesitated.

Maybe the slow game was smarter. To become Miguel O’Hara’s colleague, to mold and shape and sculpt under shadows. Until your own masterpiece, much too alive to dust in an old museum, was revealed to an open skies and wonderstruck audience.

You felt guilty, doing this for your own gain rather than the goodness of your heart. But they knew who they hired. They knew it was a consensual abuse of power from both sides.

They knew that status would always taste sweeter than empathy.

You stuck out your hand.

“Deal.”

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parт 2 ⇁︎

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sguidwards-bestfriend · 8 months

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Dp x Dc thoughts and stuff

New Dimension, Who's This?

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

From Danny's short experience Jason was about as trusting as he first was when Fright Night joined him. He didn’t think Frighty’s method of accept my eternal loyalty or die would work very well here. The guy, despite looking like a brick wall and a fridge had a child, seemed to have a very gooey center. Now to hope that wasn’t just the contaminated ecto.

Contact was the easiest way to get the bad ecto (Becto?) out and he was NOT one for cuddling. Just mentioning it made the man squirm, well not outwardly, but his core shivered.

Danny didn't see a big deal in it, but maybe it had been the years in the ghost realm, where personal space wasn't really a thing when you can phase through people... his human half was also used to Tucker and Sam, whom he'd shared a bed with so many times Jazz ended up giving him a pamphlet on "healthy polyamory".

Alfred, the name of the butler, had convinced Jason to take him on a tour of the manor. There were about a million rooms, way too many living spaces (no one needed that many seating areas), a whole barn, and a really nice kitchen with food that didn't fight back.

As they walked Danny kept close, either a hand on his shoulder or floating close enough to be up against him.

Although Jason seemed stoic externally Danny could feel each and every emotion he had. He never seemed uncomfortable with Danny, but he was guarded. Some feelings, like nostalgia, became volatile from the corrupted ecto and quickly turned into anger.

One of these times was just seeing Tim, his brother, came out of his room with about 12 empty coffee cups in hand. The feeling, for just a second, started as care that switched to anger quicker than Danny had been expecting. There had been an emotion between the two, but Danny hadn't caught it. The anger seemed more ghostly than the first part, it was shaky and unstable.

With that shift came a surge of ecto that sounded like a screaming child, Danny placed a second hand on him to help filter it out. His eyes flickered green then went back to the light blue with a grayish outline that they had been before.

Tim had stopped in his tracks, frozen in place with his mountain of dirty cups. No one moved. Then, as if nothing happened, Jason continued walking, leading Danny to what he’d come to find was the library.

Danny loved to read as a kid, but he died, had to stop the ghost coming through his parent's portal, save the world, pass high school, become king, and give up a more human life to dedicate to ruling an entire dimension that he never got back into it. Especially once he'd established peace throughout most of the realm: a majority of his work consisted of paper work. Very boring paper work.

"You can grab a book if you want." Jason sat on a comfy looking chair, leaning into it and slouching down. He looked a lot less intimidating like this.

"Nah. I have to read a lot for work, but thanks for the offer." Danny floated above him, one hand anchoring him to the man.

"What do you do for work?" Jason asked, not putting the book down.

"Lot of people sell their soul." Danny watched his own hair flowing in the air like it was underwater, he's not sure when it started doing that, but it looked badass so he wasn't complaining. "It’s depressing paperwork when you have to define the worth of a soul in numbers."

Jason hummed and continued to read. They sat there like that for a while before Jason spoke up again.

"How did you know the pit rage was taking over, when we were in the hall."

"Ghost speak isn't translatable exactly, but your core kinda babbles like a baby." Danny looked down at the man, he'd closed his book. "It cries when it's angry and cries when it's sad, but your human emotions come first and are amplified by your core."

"So, what, you just heard a ghost crying?"

"More like I heard your human emotions through a megaphone and then ghostly crying right after."

Jason picked his book back up, but Danny had a feeling he wasn't actually reading it.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours to Danny. He didn't think it right to ask any questions. Besides, he was being vague about his own answers too.

Through the years he'd gotten the hang of being cryptic enough while still giving an answer from Clocky.

Clockwork!

Danny sat up, accidentally pulling Jason up with him a bit. "I need to get in contact with Clockwork!"

Jason grumbled and fixed his jacket, "Who's that?"

"The ancient of time, he'll know how to get me back and how to fix you... if he answers or wasn't behind this."

...

Jason did not seem happy about contacting the hellblazer/detective, but he was in town. What luck.

Danny no longer felt very lucky when the blonde detective with a strong English accent started yelling.

"This is the fucker wreaking havoc with the lazarus pits?"

Jason sighed, "Can you help us or not?"

The man breathed out a puff of smoke and mumbled to himself. "Yeah, yeah. I can help." He sat on the nearest chair and looked down at his PDA, or well, Jason said they were phones. This universe seemed a few years past his own. "The infinite realms aren't easy to get a hold of. You need to be pretty powerful to go in between the realms. How did you get stuck here anyway?"

"Was practicing with my dimension hopping dog, I went through a portal, he didn't. Now I'm stuck here." Technically that wasn't a lie, he was with Cujo when he himself had made the portal.

"Dimension hopping dog, right." He took another hit from his cigarette before grunting and standing up. Danny wasn't a fan of this type: arrogant bastards that believe you aren't worth their time. "Only thing I can think of is a summoning."

"Okay sure, how do we do that?" Danny asked floating behind Jason, a hand on his back. John looked at him skeptically, so Danny shot back. "I've never done a summoning that would be ridiculous! That's like standing in the same room with someone and calling them."

"Fine, let’s go down to the cave."

Once in fruit loop 3.0's basement the hellblazer pulled out a book and started drawing out patterns on the floor. Danny recognized a few words, which gave him confidence that the summoning would at least bring someone from the infinite realms.

The wording was very old, but from what he could read it was about summoning the most powerful being in the infinite realms.

Danny assumed it would be Clockwork, and just hoped its wasn’t some manifestation of Pariah Dark.

John finished, then turned to stand at the front as if he'd rather be anywhere else but here, and started to chant. The circle glowed a familiar homely green when he feels a pull in his gut.

"Fuck."

...

Jason watched as Constantine drew out the circle with strange hieroglyphs. He'd read that book when trying to find ways to remove the pit rage years ago. This summoning was meant for the strongest being in the entire realm. It could be any kind of monstrosity.

His stomach dropped when the sickly green glow filled the room. The shadows danced unnaturally and the room dropped a few degrees.

Behind him Danny made a blip of a noise and disappeared. For a moment he assumed the man was scared, making himself invisible to hide from the creature crawling out from a hell dimension.

Only he didn't feel Danny behind him anymore.

"Welp... didn't expect that. Definitely an ego boost I tell ya." Standing in the center of the circle was Danny. He didn't look anything like the man he'd spent all day with. He was a few feet taller, had pale green skin that shone almost white and six lanky arms with pointed nails. The fangs and slightly pointed ears he already had were pulled longer, his legs were just as unsettling as his arms, it almost looked like he'd been pulled through a black hole. Stretched through time and space.

His hair was longer as well, it floated above him like it wasn't experiencing gravity. Floating above that was a ring of a green aurora borealis. His face was hard to look at directly, it shifted. It was just the outlines, it was all eyes, it was empty, it was a black hole.

Around him shone little starts that twinkled occasionally, Jason had been part of the Justice League when a solar flare nearly killed half the planet. This being had the power of hundreds of those and was moving them around absentmindedly. one hand seemed to burn slightly, but it was too bright for him to focus on it.

He looked ethereal and terrifying.

Constantine broke the silence first, "State who you are!"

In a million voices that echoed through the cave and into Jason's chest Danny spoke.

"I am Phantom, King of the Infinite Realms, Champion of Pariah Dark, Bringer of Peace, Ancient of Space, The Great One." Da... Phantom looked down at the circle. There was amusement in his voice, "I see, the words I didn't recognize were a binding of truth, that means I can only communicate in ghost speak."

Constantine looked more fed up than scared, but he knew when the con-man bit off more than he could chew. He turned to Jason and whispered to him, "He's the bloody king. I'm not helping you fuck the king."

"I do not need help with that." Phantom said before shining brighter, a green tinge covering the edges of his body.

Constantine turned back, most likely expecting the creature couldn't hear them. "I met Pariah Dark, your magical essence is..."

"Ghosts have cores." Phantom corrected, crossing the central arms as the rest continued moving stars around.

"Yeah, yeah. Your core is different. Since when are you king?"

"Time moves differently between realms. On my earth it was about a decade ago, but by the zones standards it was nearly 50. When did you last hear about them?"

Constantine huffed, pocketing the cigarette that had gone out when Phantom appeared. “Three years ago, but I don’t delve into the infinite realms often.”

“Zatana helped me a bit with the whole being dead thing. Maybe she'll know?” Jason hadn’t talked to her much in the years that followed, she’d not been able to help him. Though now looking back he hadn’t given her much of a chance.

“Yeah, that might…” Once again Phantom interrupted Constantine.

“Wait, wait. I know this magical signature.” The two looked back at the being, “You're the bastard who keeps selling bits of his soul. Do you know how many disputes I've had to settle, how much fucking paper work I've had to do because of you!”

Constantine, ever the survivalist bolts. An act Jason hadn’t been expecting in the slightest. The hellblazer threw the book at him when he left, muttering something that changed the green color to something softer, less toxic.

Jason goes to stand in front of Phantom, the man he’d spent the entire day with was an eldritch being of unfathomable power. He excused the summoning with a wave of his hand, as the book showed.

Although he did shrink down to a more human size, only his face changed in appearance. The rest of him was still pale and lanky, the pointy ears looking cuter than they had before, whe they were as long as a sword.

Jason stayed silent. How was he meant to go about this. What had he promised to this being that it was willing to stay with him. What had he sold to the creature that dictates the value of a life.

“Oh sweet!" Danny/Phanton did a strange squat and wiggle like he was trying his legs out for the first time in a while. "Wanna go for like a walk or something?”

Jason’s brain seemed to skip a grove when he heard Danny’s voice coming out of the blueish creature.

“A walk sounds nice.” Jason said, ignoring how his mind was racing with the possibilities of this being really curing him… and of what he’ll ask in return.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

@bjurnberg, @skulld3mort-1fan, @akikkobara @undead-bi-dinosaur, @amyheart19, @phoenixdemonqueen, @not-your-average-url, @seraphinedemort, @theywontletmeusetheoneiwant, @satisfactionbroughtmeback, @kyrianclawraith, @i-always-say-yea, @gin2212

(sorry this took forever, im certain being a fanfic writter curses you or something. So many fucking things were happening at once gah. I've had this plotted out since i posted part 2, but never got around to turn it into a realish fic)

#danny phantom #dpxdc #dcxdp #jason todd #danny fenton #dead on main #Can you tell I smoke weed not cigs?#I honestly don't know if the terms are different and trying to look that up is fucking hard

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pixiecactus · 29 days

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i would sell my soul to read a full chapter of arya's adventures in winterfell, her socializing with the stark men and smallfolk, playing with her dolls, going outside to pick flowers to gift her parents (jury is still out in whether catelyn would accept the flowers after reprimending arya for her dirty appearance first or she would accept them thankful but stay silent remembering when lysa and she used to make mud pies), having her meet the babies whom she had previously invented names for, playing come-into-my-castle and monsters-and-maidens with the children of wintertown. having arya participating in a serious competition with bran, of who's able to catch more frogs and flowers (arya won, thanks for asking), of who's able to climb the tallest tree (bran won, thank you for asking again).

#asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #house stark #arya stark #catelyn stark #catelyn tully #bran stark

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linberlyy · 4 months

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Let's be honest: Criston's offense’s more than justified and well-reasoned. Another question is how much this very offense is, but everyone will judge this through their own internal compass. Let me explain Cole’s motivation and worldview, maybe I'll open someone's eyes.

Let’s simulate the situation: we have a son from a humble family (so low that his position was low even for an engagement), who, with sweat, blood, his skills and efforts, carved out a place for himself in the Kingsguard, taking into account that, thanks to the goodwill of a representative of the royal family, - who has a golden spoon in her mouth, we remember, was able to get a healthy assessment of her capabilities and skills without watered calculations.

- “I know what it’s like to fight for something that others don’t value.”

He owes his new position precisely to the favor of the princess, and we have no reason to refute Criston’s conscience, because BEFORE any traumatic and drastic changes/events, he manifests himself as a conscientious and devoted knight, with a clear worldview.

They spend a lot of time together, and already at Aegon’s name day we see that the level of trust between Rhaenyra and Criston is high, moreover, it is rapidly gaining momentum when she opens some part of her soul, shares things that can be called “personal”, laments his situation and outlines the problems he faces. Most notable:

— “My father is trying to sell me to Jason Lannister. I was named heir to the throne only to improve the position of Lord Casterly Rock.

— Should I kill him?”

This is literally a joke about killing the LORD that Criston makes in the presence of the princess, and it is remarkable that they both laugh without taking it seriously.

— “You can choose your own path, you are lucky. Many would gladly change places with you.

— “I am the princess of Dragonstone, but I am toothless.”

— “Once, not so long ago, you were able to write my name in the White Book. A position in the Kingsguard is the highest honor for the Cole family. I owe you everything. And I wouldn’t call it toothless.”

He provides her with sincere support, without greedy or hypocritical intent, and she accepts it with open arms.

The development of their relationship, on the initiative of the princess, follows immediately when, after some time, abandoned by Daemon (I condemn) in a brothel, she persuades Criston to have sex. Rhaenyra lures him into the room, plays with the helmet, kisses him, not allowing him to leave, and then tries to free the knight from his armor. Yes, Criston could more than experience romantic feelings towards his princess, but above all, it was a kind of admiration, sincere gratitude for what bestowed her favor on the rootless commoner. His representation of Rhaenyra may seem banal and naive, namely as “a poor princess, enslaved by her position,” we will note this in the future. But based on his pure motives, he faces a choice in which his feelings equally suffer, his vows and, of course, the wishes of his object of desire, in relation to whom Criston has never crossed the line before, are called into question. Many may underestimate the pressure that arises between the statuses and titles of total opposites, and only in the example of “maid - prince” do some realize the problematic nature of such a union, but not “princess - knight”. Please note: despite gender, it is still a class difference that breeds power with abuse. And, unfortunately, Cole cannot know and be sure that Rhaenyra’s need to get sex here and now has nothing to do with her love for him. He hesitantly follows the princess's lead, putting aside his white cloak.

Next we see and hear that Criston is ashamed of himself for violating his honor, neglecting his duty, although he listened to his heart, to his duty to Rhaenyra.

— “You occasionally confided in me... Over the years of acquaintance. And it seems to me that I know you. A little.

— “More than a little.”

Another imaginary confirmation in Christon’s eyes of reciprocity.

— “You have said many times how you despise your position. That you will be married off at the whim of your father, without thinking about the inclination of your heart. And this day has come."

He imbues her with the problem mentioned in the past; driven not only by his dilemma, but also by Rhaenyra's “confinement,” a literal shackle that equally binds and constrains them both.

— “I ask you to come with me. Away from all this, from the humiliations and burdens of your heritage. Let's leave all this and look at the world together. We will be free, nameless. We are free to go wherever we want, to love whoever we want. Will you marry me? Not for the crown. For love.

— “I’m the Crown, Ser Criston. Or I will be her. I can complain about my debt, but would I choose infamy in exchange for a barrel of oranges, or a ship to Asshai? It is my duty to marry a noble of a great house. But my marriage is not the end all be all. Ser Criston, Laenor and I have come to an understanding. I gave him the right to do what he wants. He granted me the same”.

— “Do you want to make me a whore?”

— “I want what started to continue.” You are my protector. My white knight”.

— “I made a vow, a vow of chastity. I have nothing but my white cloak, and I have stained it! I thought the wedding would cleanse him.”

Literally, Criston pours out not only his soul to Rhaenyra, but also to us, as viewers. He dictates the reality of his situation, assures that he can provide and protect the princess as much as possible. But, of course, for the blood of the dragon, for the heiress, for the father’s daughter, who was previously brought up in the conditions of “do you want it? Get it!” such a prospect is worthless. Naive of Cole? Yes, but not without reason.

After everything, he feels extremely vulnerable, as well as after a sincere confession to the Queen - which responds even more precariously and nervously to any conscience and confidence, despite her gratitude. Already at the wedding of Rhaenyra and Laenor, Cole, like a taut string, stands at the service, but restlessly and nervously looks at the princess.

— “I’m on duty, what’s your business?”

— “You don’t know me, Ser Criston, but this alliance is very important to both of us.”

— “If you have something to say, Ser Joffrey, speak.”

— “Ser Laenor is as dear to me as I know the princess is to you. We must swear to keep them and their secrets. We’re not in any danger yet... They are safe.”

Sounds like a threat to a pins and needles knight with a stained cloak and a sense of duty, don’t you think? Criston can only guess how Joffrey knows about his affair with the princess, and only one of the options may look convincing - Rhaenyra telling Laenor about this, who could notify his lover along the chain. Again, every possible inclination towards princess on his part is undermined when their secret is at stake. Yes, Criston succumbs to anger and panic, resentment and hopelessness, for which he commits a much more terrible act than calling a woman names. But even so, Cole feels guilt, boundless disappointment, and at the lynching he also feels remorse. He plans to voluntarily commit suicide and admits his every mistake. This scene is literally the rebirth of a knight in the rays of Alicent’s understanding and favor.

And as a result: people complain countless times and blame Criston for swearing towards Rhaenyra, for which he apologizes. Cool. Let's think critically and delve into the story and characters, and not spit hypocrisy.

#hotd #anti team black #houseofthedragon #rhaenyra targaryen #pro team green #team green #the greens #criston cole #alicent hightower

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chaifootsteps · 1 month

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God I’m so fucking tired of Vivziepop. I’m sorry, I love some of her stuff, and I’ve learned to do more dynamic poses with her art, but I can’t watch anything made by her anymore. She’s too much. Too many rumors(that may or may not be true), has too many characters that look white, too many curse words, inappropriate usage of voodoo and rape, and making a character that is a literal cannibal and serial killer be sympathetic. I get it, it’s hell, and no one’s innocent(EXECPT FOR THE FUCKING ANTI-CHRIST APPARENTLY???), but I’ve been too many people make Alastor have mommy issues and people in the comments with be like “NOT MY POOKIE ALASTOR!!”

BITCH HE WOULD OWN YOUR SOUL AND TORTURE YOU SHUT UP!!!!

Also the fucking problem with backbone of wires Vox, “my fashion is stuck in 2012” Velvet, and that dickshitter Val. I’m perfectly fine with conventionally attractive people being horrendous people, it happens a lot, but they also downplay (sometimes) what the other Vees do and make Val seem like the worst. Vel sells a date rape drug, and Vox literally makes stalking easer and enables Val. THEY BOTH DO!!

And dear FUCKING LORD STOP SIMPING OVER ALASTOR. sure I get simping over a character that has a good character design, but he would push you aside without another thought. He. Does. Not. Care. ALSO IVE SEEN TOO MANY “JUST THE TIP ALASTOR!” FUCK THE SHIT OFFFF!!!!! STOP IT YOU HORNY MOTHERFUCKERSZZ!!!

And also adams entire character. I genuinely hate him. I don’t care for him. He was done so dirty and no I will not say that his character is good. I get it, yes a lot in the Bible about Adam is very misogynistic(for fucks sake in the Jewish Bible he got upset at Lilith because Lilith wanted to have sex equally(side by side sex)), but he’s. Fucking. Adam. THE FIRST MAN!!! Would he not be monitored by the seraphim or god himself??? He’s very important!! And when he fought Charlie, I was disappointed. “The entire human race came from these balls!!!” FUCK OFF!!! Would the first man, whom was made in gods image, curse like a sailor and call his second in command “danger tits???”

Rosie I like. No complains, just the voice is a bit much.

Angel and Husk. “Oh we’re doing slow burn!!” BITCH WHERE. HUH??? MASQUERADE IS LITERALLY THEM JUST FALLING IN LOVE GET OFF MY DICK

Also it’s so fucking vile that she named Vaggie Vagina. What the shit. Huh??? “Oh it’s mysogonistic Adam! It makes sense!” Yeah and going with that logic the fuck is lute short for?? Yeah, it’s a joke about female genitalia and it makes me sick,, I don’t even like saying her name.

Also fucking Pentious and Cherri. Get the FUCKKKK OFFFF. I just can’t stand them. Ugh. I don’t like it. I really don’t. It’s bad

Nifty. No.

Sorry, this was a rant. I’m so sorry

Sometimes you just need to rant, and I don't blame you one bit.

it's so, so fucking much, all the time.

#Anonymous #vivziepop critical #viv stuff #actual blog post

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kori-dearest · 2 months

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Aoughh lamb designs 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 design notes under the cut

Pre genocide:

- in my heart sheep society was a small closed city with many, smaller nomadic groups, mostly moving around to sell luxury artisan goods like wool and textiles <333

- The Vessel (who I’ve named Latifamb, I’ll explain it later) was a traveling guard for one of these merchant groups, hence why he is already skilled with many of the weapons The Crown provides.

-the way sheep names work is a lamb gets a given name, and their family’s suffix is put at the end of that name. So The Vesseel’s given name is Latif, and his family suffix is -amb.

-i love tassels, so a lot of their clothing is tassel based <3

- their colors are mostly blue to make the white of their wool look even whiter.

-cleanliness is wildly important to Sheep, as their wool is their livelihood.

- Latifamb keep his wool as long as he can without it getting in the way of his work, mostly because his coil pattern is perfect for many of the crafts his partners enjoy making.

- he has a husband and two wives, all of whom he adores with his entire heart <3 this is shown with two earrings in his left ear, and one in his right, all three handcrafted by the spouse they represent <3 one of his wives was pregnant, and he was preparing to have a nose piercing to signify his new role as a father when news of the Bishops’ genocide came.

Sacrifice:

- Latifamb was out of the city on a job when the news first hit, and though the group tried to return to their city before it got really bad, they were too far away to make it in time. Latifamb’s family was gone, and he removed his jewelry to signify their passing- only leaving the earring of his pregnant wife in hopes that they would meet again, and he could properly meet his son.

- he did his best to protect his group, but eventually failed, and ran to protect himself. He feels an unimaginable about of shame for leaving them, despite the fact that they were dead long before he could have saved them.

-he becomes malnourished and thin, his wool oily and falling out from stress.

- he develops a limp in his right leg, one he never seems to shake

- he was finally captured and put to sacrifice, his clothing ragged and his wool dirty, wishing for nothing but a quick death and to see his family in the afterlife.

-instead, he became The Vessel.

Cult Leader:

- Latifamb continues the Sheeps’ naming convention, allowing each follower to keep their given name, and just adding the Amb suffix, because they are all his children now <3

-he learns that death is not the end for sheep, and reconnects his earrings- as well as gets a nose ring for his never-born son

-as the years go by, Latifamb forgets his own name, only remembering his family suffix. The One Who Waits calls him The Lamb, so… that must be his name.

- there are very few animals with wool left, so locking his wool seemed the easiest way to keep it protected.

- the lamb adorns his locks in gold rings to signify each of his followers, removing and replacing them as his flock grows and wains.

- he still needs shearing now and then, and he makes a minor celebration out of it- mostly a feast, and he makes a show out of teaching his disciples how Sheep would handle their wool and make crafts with it, allowing younger followers to use his wool in their own works.

- he is a gentle, quiet soul. He treats his followers fairly, and would do anything for them. He’s very well known for his occasional rambling life lesson stories- if you ask him for any advice he’ll give it to you, but you definitely have to hear one thousand years of Lamb Lore before you get a straightforward answer.

-he visits Narinder often, mostly to chat between missions. Though he adores his followers…. It’s much easier to talk to someone who actually understands the loneliness of eternal life.

-he has a little pouch on his ankle which he keeps a single coin in. He gives it to Narinder every revival as a small “tithe” for revival. Narinder never asked for it, nor does he ever require it, but they’re both so used to the habit that they just can’t seem to stop.

#art #cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl lamb

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peepism · 7 months

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Number | Levi Ackerman

modern AU! Levi sees you standing in line with your friends waiting to order some food, he strikes up a conversation in hopes to getting your number. Some swearing, obviously. (Levi is also around the same age, not much of an age gap)

wc: 1,369

The streets of Maria were full of loud bustling this particular evening, with children screaming in joy while continuously going up and down play structures at the local park, people selling their products at the market, and various activities being held.

Everyone was outside, including the college students whom usually would've stayed in their dorms studying for their year end exams.

"I SAY WE GO GET SOME ICE CREAM!" Sasha randomly chimed in, bringing your focus to your large group of friends, that was one way to break your train of thought.

"I agree, the sun is out and everyone is enjoying their time. Surely it won't hurt to get some sweets in our stomachs." Historia- better known as Krista added, her sweet smile making anyone want to agree.

You trailed behind them, keeping your mouth shut just out of habit, occasionally pulling out your phone to check if you had gotten any messages from anyone. It wasn't that you weren't interested in being out spending time with them, not at all, it was just your anxiety from being out in the open and also thinking about how much studying you'll need to cram. Especially your psychology, that class had no breaks what so ever and the content was heavy. "Y/n, you alright?" A small voice beside your whispered, causing a small jump from you. "I'm fine Mikasa."

"Y/n/n.. be honest. Usually you're being loud and obnoxious right now with everyone else. What's going on?" She pestered more, her grey eyes practically piercing into your soul.

– I suppose I'm just a bit stressed, is all.

– About what? You know you can talk to me, it's not like I'll tell the others.

– It's just the studying I need to do, sure, I shouldn't be thinking about it and should be out here enjoying my time with everyone but I just can't. You all know how much I've been struggling lately in Psychology.

– I know, but hey... will those hot guys take your mind off it for even a little while?

Your e/c looked to where she had nudged, a small mischievous smile trying it's best to not appear on your lips, knowing full well she would have proved her point if you allowed her to see it. This caused stifled laughter from the both of you, making everyone else turn around in curiosity, demanding and begging for you both to reveal the secret but to no avail.

"Seriously, what is it Mikasa?" An angry Eren continued, bugging the poor girl. It was incredibly obvious they both fancied one another. You just couldn't stand the bickering, which lead you to pushing past them up to the front so you could order your ice cream.

Unbeknownst to you, Levi Ackerman had walked up having spotted his sister and Eren. Questioning them on what they were up to and vice versa, until his eyes had landed on you.

His slender fingers grabbed Mikasa's arm, wanting her to pay close attention to what he had to say. It was a weird habit of his he had, he also wasn't the most gentle with his grip either. "Who's that?" His eyes squinted, his head giving a curt nod in your direction.

– That's Y/n L/n. A friend of mine, clearly.

– No shit, fuckface. Clearly she's a friend of yours. Is she single?

– Why do you want to know? She's too young for you, besides. Why would I want you dating a good friend of mine. It's weird.

– "I'm not even that fucking old?" Levi scowled, his forehead creasing at the small digs his younger sibling kept giving him.

"Whatever Levi, do what you want. However it doesn't mean I'll be happy with you." She finally warned, giving the short man a little shove towards you who had begun ordering their ice cream.

Now that his mood had been ruined, he grumpily made his way towards, brushing himself off from every inch.

As you began to laugh from something Connie had said, his heart began to skip. Cheezie of him to think, but your laugh truly was the most adorable thing he had ever heard in his life. It up lifted his mood faster than light.

With one last final mental pep talk, he excused himself from cutting in front of the large friend group, making quick conversation with a few and butting into yours in particular.

"I'm so glad most guys don't ask for numbers. I don't think I'd know how to react. It's a bit awkward now a days to ask for a number. The sucky part about it is, if he doesn't ask for your number then you automatically know he doesn't want anything serious, and I'm just not that type of person. Ya know?" You had been talking, answering a silly question that Ymir had asked once she saw the amount of guys that had been taking quick glances at you.

When Ymir noticed Levi standing behind you, a shit eating smirk adorned her face, arms folding over her chest and her finger giving a quick point.

"What?" Your face furrowed in confusion, whipping around to come face to face with the attractive man. The blood that rushed to your face out of embarrassment was unmatched. "Oh fuck, hello!"

– "Hello." He chuckled quickly adding on to have a conversation with you. "I'm Levi, Mikasa's brother. I figured I'd do my rounds introducing myself to everyone. Not that I planned on it. I just saw her with you guys and thought I'd come say hello. Everyone was around when I spoke to her except you two. Didn't want to leave you guys out."

– "Mhm. Is that so?"

An amused look shone in your eyes, a small giggle wanting to force its way out of your throat. He was a bit awkward with it, yet it was cute in it's on way.

– Indeed. Might I catch your name?

– Y/n L/n. Everyone calls me Y/n/n though.

– Noted. So tell me about yourself?

– Well, I'm a (Your major) student. I plan on becoming a (profession).

– Interesting, I'm studying to become a lawyer. So far I have two years of studying left. I wish you luck in yours.

– Must be hard, but yes, you as well! It was nice meeting you!

– It was nice meeting you as well Y/n.

You were practically melting inside, your attention completely on him as he had slowly began to walk away. Yumir was the one who pointed out your ice cream had been dripping down your hand to your arm from not having eaten any yet from being in la la land with Levi.

This caused you to frantically grab napkins and clean yourself up, your friends giggling at you. When you were suddenly being helped by another pair of hands, a pair you recognized but didn't at the same time until your gaze shifted up. Nose inches away from Levi's.

"By the way. I forgot to ask. Can I get your number?" His steel eyes glimmered, knowing full well you weren't going to say no.

"Depends. How old are you?" You shot back now being all cleaned up with his help, heart absolutely feeling as though it was going to jump out of your chest.

"I'm twenty-three. You?"

"Nineteen. Too young?"

"Pushing it."

A row of giggles spewed out, not being able to be held down any longer. You had to admit, he was pretty smooth with it, it probably ran in the Ackerman genes. Gingerly you passed him your phone and he added his number in your contacts, fingers brushing up against yours as he handed it back. "Your ice cream, it's melting again.." He droned out, shaking his head to grab some more napkins and help you out. Not leaving until he tucked a strand of h/c behind your ear.

– We thought you said you were glad guys don't ask for numbers, Y/n/n. Everyone in unison laughed

– Oh shut the fuck up, this is an exception.

– An exception who just so happens to be my older brother. Mikasa finally teased.

It was a nice day. Amazing even. A day you'd never regret skipping studying for.

#levi aot #levi ackerman #levi x reader #shingeki no kyojin #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #mikasa ackerman #eren yeager

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cookinguptales · 2 months

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Okay so now that I've had some time to digest and think about Late Night with the Devil, some thoughts.

Sorry in advance, this got really, REALLY long as I rambled about all-male secret societies, who and what was possessing whom throughout this movie, literal and metaphorical hauntings, how fame and fortune tempt us all to give up our humanity, and uh. Family youtubers.

I really enjoyed the film, but I do have to wonder, to start with, if other people will get all the allusions...? I didn't think about it until later when I was reading confused posts by other viewers, but I guess the film does kind of predicate on a lot of somewhat arcane knowledge. Like you can understand what's going on without it, but I do think you get a lot more enjoyment out of it if you have a good working understanding of, like, the Satanic Panic of the 70s, the parapsychology/esper craze, James Randi's whole thing, Anton LaVey, Waco, late night hosts like Johnny Carson, and of course the Bohemian Grove.

The Bohemian Grove is kind of... like, obviously a lot of the people making up conspiracy theories about that recently are alt-right assholes (see: Alex Jones), but it is very much a real thing. It's kind of a modern Masonic situation, imo, where you get these big groups of rich, influential men together and they do silly, juvenile vaguely pagan frat boy shit. It's edgelord stuff. But because they are secretive and they are powerful, people come up with all of these conspiracy theories about them.

(I mean lbr that's kind of the history of the occult in general, isn't it? lmao. People ask me if I was afraid when I was studying secret societies and occultism and it's like -- no, these were by and large just rich assholes fighting over headcanons about rituals that they made up based off of deeply faulty scholarship. But I digress.)

The fact of the matter, though, is even if the actual rituals and stuff are kind of silly, the main focus is really rich, powerful men meeting up with other rich, powerful men and networking like crazy. It does keep the rich rich, the powerful powerful, and political resources focused on men. Like the Masons, women aren't allowed in the Bohemian Grove -- and women in politics have bitterly criticized the way that they're being excluded from this kind of networking.

(God, it's so fratty. It's so fucking fratty.)

So in that respect, it is kind of something to be feared.

And... I do think you see that aspect of it reflected in Late Night with the Devil. The consolidation of power, the networking with shitty people, and the way that women are "sacrificed."

[massive spoilers for the entire film to follow!]

I do think I want to see this movie again to firm up some of my ideas, because I suspect that there are a lot of details that I missed the first time I watched this. (And I really should have watched the open captioned version of this; I couldn't understand a lot of what the demon was saying, rip.) But here are some initial thoughts.

The heart of this, obviously, is the demonic presence at the Grove and the way that men go there to sell their soul for power. In a very literal sense, that's what's happening in this film and it's what happened to Jack Delroy. He made a deal with a demon for fame, and that demon ended up taking everything from him to achieve that.

But... metaphorically speaking, it seems clear that Jack Delroy was very willing to make human sacrifices in his day-to-day life. He may have literally (and I think accidentally) sacrificed his wife's life to a demon at the Grove, but he very consciously and willingly sacrificed her for fame when she was alive, too. I mean... imagine having a spouse who is actively dying of cancer and making her make an appearance on your show two weeks before she passes. For ratings. Imagine how much it must have physically taxed her. Imagine how difficult it must have been for them both emotionally. It even could have hastened her death. But he was still willing to do all that for views. He sacrificed his wife, his home life, and his overall privacy for views.

(Family youtubers, anyone? 🙃)

He's also willing to sacrifice his girlfriend, his crew, his audience, and a little girl for ratings. Gus, his voice of reason. He was willing to humiliate him onstage and wouldn't let him go home when he was scared. His audience, whose trauma he was entirely willing to capitalize on through Christou's act. His gf, who I'd argue was probably using Lilly as well, was totally thrown to the wolves when he realized it'd make good television.

Like -- yes, there were supernatural forces at play. Supernatural forces claimed these lives. But Jack sure as shit wasn't being very careful with them, and these supernatural sacrifices always, always mirrored his mundane ones.

(I mean... he performed a human sacrifice of a little girl on national television while in a hallucination about using the sacrificial dagger on his dying wife. It wasn't subtle. lmao)

Moreover, the producers of the show were also very willing to put people in harm's way and capitalize on tragedy for ratings. So... there's a really unsubtle message here about fame and capitalism and the way it tempts you to sacrifice your humanity to get ahead.

(MAYBE LIKE UNDERMINING YOUR ARTISTIC INTEGRITY BY USING AI INSTEAD OF HIRING ARTISTS, IDK)

I'd in fact argue that pretty much everyone who got on that stage that night sacrificed their humanity a bit for fame, with the possible exception of Gus. Gus was the voice of reason, but I mean... he was still there. Maybe a message about how once you get in, you can't get out. :(

But yeah, Jack's obvious, but also Christou, who was willing to use people's trauma for fame. June, who was willing to use a little girl's incredible trauma to advertise for her new book. Carmichael, who got off on humiliating people just to make himself seem smart.

Like... they all started with a kernel of something good (wanting to help the grieving, wanting to help traumatized children, wanting to stop charlatans) but in the end, show biz turned all those urges into the most amoral, selfish, and cruel versions of themselves.

And all of those people crumbled when they were confronted with something real.

(Side note, our theater was in hysterics when Carmichael tried to offer the demon the check. lmao)

Truthfully, it felt like all of them had made their own individual deals with the devil years ago. Halloween 1977 was just the devil finally coming to take his due.

That's the main message of the movie, I think, but there are still some smaller details I want to talk about.

The Grove itself was an obvious allusion to the Bohemian Grove, which is a secret society of powerful men who meet amongst the redwoods in Northern California. Their mascot has always been an owl, which is why you repeatedly see the owl motif throughout the movie. (Happy Owl-ween, the owl mask, etc.)

Abrasax makes sense as a demon to choose (the strong historical associations with magic and demonology, the reoccurrences in many world religions (and occult groups), the role in Gnosticism, etc.) but there seem to be vibes of Stolas, an owl deity who communicates arcane knowledge to humans in exchange for their souls, as well. I noticed a lot of little allusions to Abrasax throughout the film even before Lilly started manifesting, like the movie being shown after the show being about Abrasax.

Lilly... She was rescued from a cult that seems to be a hybrid of Anton LaVey's Church of Satan and the Branch Davidians who died during a siege by the US government in Waco, TX. (Like the cultists in the movie, their compound caught fire when they were being raided. IRL, it's unclear whether the fire was started as a suicide cult situation or if it was started by the actions of the government as they tried to flush people out.) In this cult, girls were sacrificed at age 13, and all who witnessed that sacrifice would fall under the control of Abrasax.

So... she was rescued at age 10. Three years have passed. So she is now 13, the age at which these girls were sacrificed. She was due, in other words. Who and what was possessing her... that's the question, I guess. Demons, historically speaking, were known to speak foreign languages, speak in the voice of other humans, have psychic knowledge their hosts shouldn't know, etc. So she did exhibit symptoms like that.

I think... there are a couple of options here. There's Abrasax specifically, there's June's theory that she was possessed by a minor demon, and there's Minnie. Or a combination of the three.

It's pretty clear that Minnie's presence is felt throughout the whole taping. You can see her reflection various times throughout the movie, she manifested through Christou, and obviously you see her in the tape playback.

(And when I say my theater YELLED. lmao)

The question is, though... Is it really Minnie? And if it is, what does she want? Has she been haunting Jack all along? Is she there because, as it's the first Halloween after her death, it's her last chance to deal with her unfinished business? Did the demon allow her to manifest? Or was the whole thing an illusion created by the demon all along?

(I'd like to note here that, historically speaking, there was a theory that ghosts aren't actually real. They're actually demons masquerading as the spirits of departed loved ones, and they want you to summon them and listen to them so they can tempt you away from God. You can read this in the writings of a lot of the ancient Christian theologians. Or you could have talked to my grandmother, who also told me this when I was a kid! :') But she's dead now so I guess you'd have to do a summoning and find out for yourself.)

All that said... I come down between two current theories. I'd have to watch it again to firm up my ideas.

The first theory is that she's been trapped on earth for the past year, but because it's Halloween, she can haunt them. They mention at the beginning of the film that Halloween is a recent spirit's last chance to take care of unfinished business. So this could have been the case with Minnie. That said... what exactly was her unfinished business? Was she trying to protect Jack and the others? Or hurt them? Was she angry, or was she just, as Christou said, sad? Was her "an unmarried man wearing a wedding ring" referring to the way that Jack was grieving her and still wearing his ring, or the way that he wasn't much of a husband to her when she was alive?

The second theory is that, when she was sacrificed to Abrasax, she became a part of that legion. She was, like Lilly and the other little girls, essentially raised to be sacrificed, and once she was, she joined everyone else who is under the control of the deity. It's still hard to sense whether she was trying to help or hurt throughout the broadcast, but it explains her presence (she came with Lilly, not Jack) and how she was used during Jack's hallucinations to ultimately get him to perform the sacrifice on Lilly, thus bringing all audience members (both in the studio and at home) under Abrasax's control.

Either way, Minnie, in this film, is literal ghost haunting the stage -- but also a metaphorical one. The ghost of all of Jack's past misdeeds and the humanity he's sacrificed to get ahead. She's guilt and she's shame and she's desperate grief, and I guess it's no wonder that the negativity surrounding her was enough to kill Christou when he touched it.

I do think it's fascinating that all of the women in this movie are, in a very real and physical sense, sacrificed for the aspirations of men. (The little girls are sacrificed, Minnie died of a mysterious cancer, June dies because Jack pushed for her to stay, etc.) But metaphorically speaking that seems to be the case as well. They're constantly expected to put their own comfort and safety aside for the men in their lives, and their own aspirations are consumed by the men's.

Like I said, it feels very telling that women aren't allowed at the Grove. Women are constantly being denied power in this movie (or are only allowed power when it's in service to a male costar/deity) and it's largely because they just don't have the connections that the men do. The deals were made while they weren't in the room, essentially.

I'm not sure if that was a conscious choice being made, but it does seem to dovetail nicely with the strong, strong sexism and male privilege present in real-life secret societies of powerful men that disallow women. Like June only getting to shill for her book because Jack let her, women are only allowed at the real-life Bohemian Grove in very limited areas -- and only as a male member's guest.

Um... back to Lilly, though. What the hell is possessing her? She speaks as Minnie a few times, but that could be because Minnie is a part of their legion or just because she's trying to freak out Jack. Demons are known to lie using the voices of loved ones. Minnie's presence could have been influencing her, but I definitely don't think that's all that was in there.

The question, really, seems to arise from what June said about Lilly changing like a week ago and how she started talking about Jack nonstop. At least one presence in Lilly seems to be the same deity that Jack spoke to in the Grove when he was making his deal with the devil (so to speak) because it mentioned that encounter. But is that the only one in there? Is it the same deity that's always been in there? Or did it come to her only a week ago as a way to get to Jack and complete their contract? ("It is done.")

Lilly refers to her demon as Mr. Wriggles (which feels like an Exorcist allusion) and it seems like she has a pretty good lid on it. And when that demon is brought out of her by June, it seems confused and frightened. But Lilly is pretty clearly possessed the entire rest of the broadcast, so really the two options are that she was faking the entire time just to fuck with them (entirely possible) or there were two different deities, perhaps the original (lesser) one put in her in the cult and Abrasax(?) newly arrived to claim Jack and his audience.

It's fascinating watching her, because you can see her slip in and out of a possessed state several times when people aren't paying attention to her (jerking, spacing out, etc.) but it's hard to tell whether that's different presences coming in and out of control, her "talking" to what's inside her, etc. Again, this is a thing I think would benefit from multiple viewings. I'm really not sure if the Grove creature is new to her body or if it's been there all along biding its time, and it's only changing its behavior now because it wanted to be on tv.

While her recently changed behavior seems to lean towards the former, I am sort of stuck on the detail that Jack said early on, that he read June's book and couldn't stop thinking about it. That could just be normal fascination (and he did end up having an affair with her) but it could also be demonic intervention. That would indicate that the demon was manipulating him into putting Lilly on TV long before a week ago.

What is not really up for debate is that the presence inside Lilly now is one that has connections to Jack through the Grove and promised him fame. Lilly (before she was visibly possessed) alludes to this promise by telling Jack that he'll be very famous after tonight. And once the ritual starts, she is seen taking electrical energy from the set and cameras. She is literally getting her power from the audience viewing the sacrifice. (It's very Ringu.) And after Jack stabs Lilly, the studio audience, audience at home, and presumably real-life audience watching this movie, are all put under Abrasax's control.

("Hail Abrasax" is seen multiple times throughout the film, which might also imply that the documentarians themselves are trying to spread this contagion after watching the video.)

Uh... a few more small things.

Carmichael Haig is obviously James Randi. Like Houdini before him, Randi was also a stage magician who dedicated his life to exposing "supernatural" charlatans. He did indeed offer a huge sum of money to whoever could prove him wrong. Carmichael even looked like James Randi. (Though I'd point out that "Haig" is the name of the man who constructed the owl statue at the real-life Bohemian Grove!) I suppose it makes sense that he'd be such an asshole in a world where demonic possession does actually exist.

The one thing I'd say is... it's hard to say whether this was a case of the filmmakers not thinking through implications or if this really was a nasty joke, but Randi was, IRL, gay. He came out late in life and got married to a man shortly before he died. So the implication that Carmichael, in the movie, wanted to join the Grove largely because he was perverted is... iffy. Carmichael was never stated to be gay in the movie (that I noticed) and it's hard to suss out whether the orgies he was talking about were relating to the all-male membership of the Grove (i.e. a gay orgy) or the women that these powerful men had hanging all over them (i.e. a... less gay orgy) and I do think which they were implying has major implications for what they were saying about a man who was, IRL, gay.

Like... if the implication was that he must've been willing to hurt people in order to have wild sex because he's gay, that's uh! Not great! But if the creators didn't realize that aspect of Randi's life (it was less publicized because, as I mentioned, it happened later in his life) then they might have just been pushing on that trope of powerful men using women.

Really, really hard to say.

Next, Christou. Christou... it's hard to say whether the man was psychic at all. It's clear that he was doing a lot of fake-ass cold reading beforehand (though I do want to go back through it and see if there really was any allusion to a Peter- character involving the skeleton) and was using interviews to find grieving audience members. (Two practices that James Randi talked about a lot IRL.) But he also did have a very real experience when he sensed Minnie and, while overwhelmed, didn't seem particularly shocked by it.

If I had to guess, I think that Christou does have some psychic powers (which is why I want to investigate the Peter thing) but can't control them well and is easily overwhelmed by real phenomena. He plays things up for the cameras (I noticed his accent slipped when he had his real experience, lmao) but I wouldn't be surprised if, like everyone else on stage, there's a kernel of something real in him.

Finally... that fucking skeleton! I want to do an entire watch through just to examine that guy. He was in the flashbacks about the Grove, so I think it's likely that he might've been a member of that. He also is the only one who refuses to take off his mask, which seems to relate to the dialogue at the beginning of the film about wearing a mask to protect yourself from spirits during Halloween. I think he's definitely in on what's going on, to some extent, but it's hard to figure out exactly in what capacity. Was it a Grove member, or maybe a cult member? A follower of Abraxas? Was it actually the personification of Death?

Hard! To! Say!

Like I said, I really do want to rewatch this movie to pay more attention to small details I might've missed in the theater. I'm also looking forward to seeing it with subtitles. It wasn't a perfect movie, but it was intriguing and original enough that I really enjoyed it and want to watch it again to puzzle through it. Really, the one big mark against it was the brief use of AI, which is just -- god, it's infuriating.

It's such a small part, so it would have been so easy to not do. (Apparently it wasn't even IN the first festival showing.) But it kind of pollutes the whole movie, especially when such a large message is not fucking over real people in the quest for success in the media landscape.

Plus, it just kind of looked like shit.

I know it's probably a lost cause, but I would be thrilled if they hired a real artist and redid those images for the Shudder release. It would be so easy to fix, and it would make the movie a lot better. Those commercial breaks were so funny and if they had better interstitials (that didn't make you feel icky just looking at them) then it would boost an already great film.

I just. I don't even know why they did it in the first place. I'm guessing, based on the fact that they weren't in the original screenings, that they were pressed for time to finish things...? But come on, surely you can find some artist who can do something quick for you. It wasn't even a moving image.

So uh... yeah, I guess that's where I'm at. It was an interesting (if slightly hokey) movie pulling together a lot of threads to make something cool and mysterious, I liked a lot of the acting (particularly Jack Delroy's) and set design, I wanna chat with people about it -- but I can't really in good conscience fully recommend it because of the AI thing. It's just such a disgrace to artistic integrity. Here's hoping they hire a real fucking artist.

#this got really long sorry lmao #really though more than anything this just made me feel like #damn why did I stop coming out to the bourse and east #like yeah they're a little further than the PFS center and the amc but not by much #I felt so nostalgic there #I gotta get back into seeing weird indie movies I miss it #late night with the devil

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savagewildnerness · 12 days

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OK! Thoughts on S2E2, Do you know what it means to be loved by death?

I love the gold (Pegasus?) statue Louis and Claudia sit upon at the start of the episode

“We’ve been together 77 years Daniel.” …”44 more than he did with Lestat.” LOL Armand (I agree with Daniel: “Keep selling it!” !!!!)

LOL @ Louis’ Parisian neck scarf

The fashion plates Claudia has cut out and stuck inside her bed… my heart

Louis looks so good in the red darkroom light, oh my!

Claudia asking Louis who he is reminded me of my thoughts the other day (a very brief summary):

Louis is afraid to look deeply within himself at who he is, in case he is not perfect, as he needs to believe he is. But he does believe he deserves love.

Conversely, Lestat knows himself - for his evil especially, and despite it all, he still likes himself mainly. But he is afraid he is utterly unloveable.

Claudia talking about a new brain in her head and Armand a new body for her brain… are they *really* going to go there? It is seeming like it?

I like Madeleine from the wee bit we saw, and I love Claudia’s dress

“It’s just Rashid” LOL

The first meeting of Armand and Louis:

Armand is like a poem made into the form of a being - the way Assad’s Armand speaks, how he looks, how he looks at Louis: he radiates a quiet peace, calm & poetic gentleness, which gave me shivers and goosebumps. Like the beautific gaze of an angel. All added to by Daniel Hart’s divine score, reflecting exactly the same emotions. This is how Armand is often described in the books (until he’s not), but because of the extremes Armand can go to, I don’t often think of this calm, angelic, almost innocent side to him so much… but oh how I felt it

I love how the lamp lights flicker. It’s like a fairytale romance and everything about it: down to “I will not harm you” is exactly as Louis would wish to hear

SANTIAGO! I love Ben Daniels. I love Santiago’s outfit and his eyes and his theatricality and his evident cleverness.

Interesting how dilapidated the Theatre des Vampires is. Seems like it hasn’t been updated since the ’20’s - half empty; broken bulbs… I am sure we have more to hear on this in the show…

Love how Armand brought cinema into the plays

The plays though have such a tawdry, distasteful feel. I would agree with Louis’ and Lestat’s visceral dislike of them, even before the human sacrifice. Though I do like the Brecht vibes. But it is such a contrast to S1 Lestat and Louis at the Opera…

LOL @ Louis’ face seeing the portrait of Lestat! And “They’ve got a shrine to him!” Hahaha

Whaaatttt @ Santiago and star charts!! Hahahahaha??!?!?!

Claudia on Loumand… I guess we have our answer now as to whether the vampires really are having actual sex and exactly how! Cheers Claudia!!!

Roget knowing about Lestat potentially sleeping… interesting…

I’ll copy and paste from elsewhere my thoughts on the Loustat scene…

“Do not waist life…” - Oh Lestat, the illiterate boy & young man you were; so desperate to learn & be good, with a Mother for whom knowledge & escape through books was her only solace… who couldn’t even be bothered to teach you the alphabet. Now, with your preternatural skills, you can read & write & do any thing you wish… but of course - it makes sense that you would never have entirely learned how to spell, or at least that there’d be the odd, common words you didn’t know. (Occurence, too.) Little details, breaking my heart even more. Thank you everyone for caring so much, you thought about the spelling of Lestat’s letter. I noticed. I care about every tiny detail like this & feel it, like love: deep in my soul.

Also: is Dreamstat *really* going to make me cry in every single episode of season 2, even when he’s barely in the episode for a breath?! (1 min 40 seconds to be precise!) He made me cry in episode 1, and here he made me cry too.

Oh Louis: to read this letter & all your internal pain & shame & sorrow & guilt & love to deepen, I’m sure even more. Oh Sam, how you spoke the letter. Oh Lestat’s outfit, from their first “date”….

Another link to the episode title here - Do you know what it means to be loved by death? too

For anyone who’s like the full text of the letter:

“My Louis

In the event you are reading this, something dreadful has occured, which is not my own death, but rather the fact that we now both exist (e?) in two different worlds.

Do not waist life seeking revenge on the person or persons responsible. Do not give them the satisfaction of the hunt. Let their treachery eat them from within and instead…”

(Continued as spoken…)

“And you… you go carry on with your living. Know only this, Mon Cher, you are the only being I trust and whom I love, above and beyond myself.

All my love belongs to you. You are its keeper. A veil will now forever separate our union. But it is a thin veil… and I am always on the other side, my face pressed up against your longing.

Lestat de Lioncourt”

Alice truly doesn’t exist, does she? Armand: what *have* you done to Daniel!?! Is all of his life a lie? Is Daniel's shaking here evidence that Armand's mind-altering has had physical impact on Daniel too? And Louis clearly knows some of it too… though I presume not the love part…. And THEY MUST LOVE EACH OTHER like Devil’s Minion which always makes me sob. (Or maybe Alice does exist, but Armand is why she wouldn’t marry Daniel?)

Oh Claudia - your GLEE at Murder mansion

“I like how you withhold” - Armand providing your next chat up line - you’re welcome!

OMG we’re going to actually see Nicolas play violin! I am SO SCARED! I hope I’ll adore it and I have faith in the show makers. But, I have also seen so much terrible violin miming (it makes me wonder, when people play surgeons, is what they are doing this annoyingly unrealistic too and I just have no idea!?!) and it is particularly noticeable, as usually piano miming is very good! Anyway, I know it is such a minor thing in the greater scheme of things, but I know I will be so irritated if it doesn’t look like Nicki is playing the violin. And it’s only that telly violin miming is so notoriously bad. Oh, please - let me believe in it! I BEG!

#interview with the vampire #anne rice #lestat de lioncourt #amc interview with the vampire #the vampire lestat #iwtv lestat #amc iwtv #iwtv amc #iwtv louis

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