#to the anon who asked for more religious Billy

[randomnameless]

I think the "Billy should ditch the boar" takes comes from AM being the one route that breaks their self-insert fantasy. Flamey and Emile doing their stuff and the Jerry thing etc do not matter bcs its not being directly mean to YOU, the player, in YOUR story. Edel-chan is a very sad and traumatized girl that will ALWAYS love YOU no matter what you do and she will doodle YOU and squeak about rats n stuff, but you don't have to actually deal with any of her supposed trauma in a realistic way (+)

(cont) She will always be fine and ready to gush after you, the trauma is only a plot device to make her wary of other people that aren't you, and be attached to only you. What she does to randoms doesn't matter as long as she's nice to you. But the evil european barbarian boar dares to actually show his trauma and negative emotions around you, and make you uncomfy, and bring any sort of realism to your fantasy! how dare he! Not only that, but he admits he didn't like you at the beginning!!!(+) (cont) you, the player, isn't above other characters when it comes to him being rude because of his trauma and mental illness, and the story dares to show your avatar feeling sad and powerless instead of badass and cool. He won't listen to you until another character opens his eyes first, and even if you marry him he's still hearing voices and struggling with his issues, your love won't cure him!! Not only that, but AM is his story, not yours! (+) (cont) It relegates your self-insert to a supportive deuteragonist instead of the main hero the plot centers around. He will become The King and you will be just a religious leader, following the footsteps of the Evil Lizard Lady!! Obviously you don't want that!! this is your story, where you can dump all your anti-church IRL arguments into, and be a super cool baddass mercenary who never has to deal with negative emotions!! And that's why AM is the only FE16 route where I actually like Billy.

Sorry anon for the tardiness of the reply!

Yep, I feel like for both Dee and the evil lizard lady, at one point, they are unhappy/upset/angry and more or less negative at Billy - who is, in this situation, taken as the player.

I remember during the heights of 2020-2021 discourse people sending asks to other asking how can they like Rhea bcs she was meant to "u" and whatnot, and it's just... Self-insert at its finest?

But Billy - the character we see in Nopes, FEH and FE17, wouldn't feel like the player in those instances (because Billy the character would never pick the "uwu" option in the Holy Tomb, and Billy the character would understand and/or at least get how Dimitri doesn't want to talk right now) - so again, it's the same old question, who is Billy? An empty self insert who feels a lot of sad uwus when Rhea threatens to rip their heart out as they assist and support who swore to kill her because her ears are pointy and cries whenever Dimitri doesn't want to talk to them, or is Billy the character we see in other games, who shows more empathy and tries to understand people, and thus, wouldn't have been able to pick a certain route in FE16?

Lol I just remember now how some people didn't like Cyril or even Seteth because they didn't slobber over Billy - as the self-insert - in their first 5 lines unlike the rest of the cast ^^

Granted, this "YOU must be the most important person EVER" comes back in full force with the S-supports (tfw seteth doesn't mention his family to billy when they hold hands) and it reiterates something I always knew : Avatars were a mistake.

Parasocial maybe saved the franchise from turning into another F-Zero like saga, but damn if it nuked a lot in the process (and by, a lot, i mean coherence and characters networks).

#anon #replies #sorry i'm late lol #FE16 #But yes to everything you said #AM is Dimitri's story as he learns to rely on people and not exclusively on u #meanwhile Claude who is supposed to open up to people spends most of time talking to you about his dreams than to talk the deers #and given how FE16 Billy isn't allowed to be a character and thus must always be static or nod #there are no interactions #i mean if billy was uwu me #the second clout said uwu church isolationism uwu new values that don't exclude people for being different #i'd say he's full of shit because those have never been the CoS's values and motto #AM Billy is a guide but doesn't push Dimitri #Dimitri follows the path himself because that's what he wants to #after he opened up to his friends who were always by his side #tbh as the game presents it AM is the second coming of post WoH Seiros and Willy #even without the hand holding it was supposed to end like this #but it went haywire and since Fodlan apparently loves its cycles #a world without Billy at its head is per this game not the best thing ever #but tbh I prefer this end to SS

[sxplict]

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◜ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 ◞

this blog is not spoiler free , please advise.

i don’t take requests for multi chapter fanfics , but as seen above , my other requests are open.

i don’t mind if you ask to be mutuals , and/or friends even , i’m autistic so it’ll honestly help me better disclose our relationship status tbh.

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blank and ageless blogs leave or you’ll be hard blocked without question. i honestly dont know why to be frank with you , but if everyone else is tripping about it then i guess its /srs.

if my pinned tags weren’t bitchy enough , i do not allow any form of inspo, help, tuts, remakes, advice, nothing when reference to graphics. TDLR; way too much plagiarism and copying throughout my years that i no longer allow it. you can dm for a negotiation and we can work things out , though i’ll still be heavily strict.

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i do not write for , anything that is sexual content with minors. dubcon. noncon. cnc. incest/stepcest. grape/s3xual 4ssault. pregnancy. somnophilia. pedophilia. teacher x student. feet kink. piss kink. ed’s. race play. pet play. scat. mpreg. breast feeding. age regression. DDBG. MDBG. suic!de/s3lf h4rm. scat. yandere (this romanticizes ppl with bpd so absolutely not). p3dophelic characters. vore. necrophelia.

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⠀ thanks for reading these, you may see the board !

#✶ ⋆˙.⠀【⠀ʬʬ.soperecords.com⠀】

[slashingdisneypasta]

(May I join T or D game? 🦊)

1) I'll eat the whole thing in one bite and risk a brainfreeze! Then I'll look him straight in the eyes as I snap the stick in half! Hopefully he'll get the message...

2) If I brought a boy home then he must be a very good friend! I wouldn't bring just anyone home! I'll find someone else for Jenn (seems like a good way to get rid of some creep/douche/sleezebag lol)

3) Bubba better sit his ass down and go nowhere near that thing! I'll handle the feeding!

4) Are noise conceling headphones an opinion?! Or playing music on speakers so loud I don't hear my own thoughts?! If not, I'll shut him up myself! He'll feel the rage of an s*x-repulsed asexual who didn't get a good night sleep in weeks! I will put a fear of God into him (even if he's not religious)! *Angry tired ace noises*

5) I'm pretty small and skinny so I could probably slip between Jason and Michael with them barely noticing me! Or I'm sure Jason would be polite enough to step aside for a second if I ask nicely, his mother did raised him right after all! There's no point in asking Michael, he'll either just continue to stare or even attempt to stab me, so no thank you!

6) Call me crazy but BJ! I'm not familiar enough with Drayton. Besides, my special talent is being able to ignore someone completaly no matter what they do! He'll be wondering if he's invisible again 😈

7) *runs into the kitchen at lighting speed, grabs the snacks and runs out*

8) I'll do my best to try calm Carrie down! I'm pretty sure she's more scared then I am! Such powers can be overwhelming and it's not her fault if she still sometimes can't control them! (If I fail, I'd like INK and Aurelio Voltaire to play at my funeral)

9) (I picked the Slasher before I saw the list) So now Jason is fighting Pennywise! Damn!! I wonder how that would end?!

10) There's absolutely NO WAY I'm getting any help from Freddy! I'll admit what I did to Pam! It was a honest mistake and hopefully she'll understand. Ofc I'll clean all the mess and pay to fix/replace if anything is broken

11) I'll choose truth! I'm super honest (sometimes too much) and don't mind any question they throw at me!

12) I like Jerry's style more, so I'll pick him! He better not mess it up though, or Elijah will be hearing about it!

13) The Clown does not scare me at all! I think the idea is hillarious and choose opinion B *evil laughter* I have camera ready 🎥 ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ

You can always join, Fox Anon!! Hey! ^^

Omggggggg, I love your answers so so much XDD

Omg, I think he's got it!!! XDDD

You make a VERY good point... And they're going to a better place anyway XDD Jen's stomach.

You're so brave!! But yes lets protect the Bubba XD

Get him, Fox anon!! I've got your back. From way back here, far far away from Patrick... I've got your back... but I've got it!!

Y'all have so much faith in the manners of a man who's forte is just flingin' people out of his damn way

6. Oh!! You took that class too?? XD Haha. Omg XD I love the little devil emoji you put at the end, too, so funny XDD

7. XDDDDDDDD Zoom

8. I've got you.

9. Oooh, I dunno- but I hope Jason wins!

10. Good news! That was a test- and you passed. Pamela likes you and you may befriend Jason XD ^^

11. Hey, at least people know where they stand with you! I love honest people!

Hmmmmm, here's your truth from Billy and Stu: If you had the choice to leave this universe and jump into the A Nightmare On Elm Street universe... and you got to be a dream demon with all that power, as well... but you had to spend your eternity with Freddy- would you go?

12. Oooh, do you mean the original version?? He does have good style. The red scarf?? Perfect accessorization XD Which Chucky then copied.

OOF, Jerry better do his best then!

13. Ohhhhhhhhhhh this one made me cackle XDD Freddy's is going to DIE, man!!

Thank you for playing and sharing your answers!! They're great!! XD

[strangeswift]

This might come of as a weird question but I wanted to read people's thoughts on this. I've seen a couple of posts on ST subreddit about this topic, and many people were saying in those posts that it makes sense and is realistic for some of the characters to be 'homophobic' towards Will if he ever comes out to them. Maybe not outright calling him slurs Lonnie style but maybe being weirded out or just confused. What do you think about this argument?

They also mentioned that Robin didnt come out to anyone but Steve either, so they think Robin and Will's not coming out is another example of how the show plays into the 'homophobic 80's and people's reacting to the gays with disgust/confusion' thing. And some of them said that Mike and Hopper might be homophobic themselves, one comment I've seen about Mike is that Mike pushing Troy to the ground could have meant that Mike pushed him bc of ''Will isn't gay like that, never say something like that.'' mentality rather than it being about him pushing Troy because of his homophobia. I obviously disagree with that argument because it doesnt make much sense since we literally see the Party being there for Will despite Will getting called homophobic slurs throughout his life. And they never shown any other character weirded out or confused by a character possibly being gay with the exception of Steve, but even then that doesnt exactly count bc Steve was meant to be a villain and die in S1. They never intended to give him a good character or personality at that point. All of the characters who acted as homophobic get punished by the narrative and are always portrayed as bad guys (Lonnie, Steve in S1, Neil and kinda Jason with that weird religious speech he gave, Will's homophobic bullies from S1 etc). I cannot imagine the party or any main character acting weirded out or confused by Will being gay. If that happened, it doesnt make sense narratively and on top of that, it plays into Will's insecurities bc his biggest fear is being rejected for simply who he is. So I dont really vibe with this whole 'realism' aspect the ppl are coming up with honestly.

One thing I wasnt sure about was the reaction Hopper made in S1 when Joyce was talking about Will being gay/getting called slurs by Lonnie. He says something like 'Well, is he?' and it was kinda.... a weird comment to make i guess but idk, that could have been just him trying to understand the situation and actually get a confirmation or something since it would have been helpful for the investigation.

Anon!!! I am actually so excited to talk about this because I have many thoughts and I believe my thoughts to be extremely correct. Let's jump in!

Here's the reasons why I firmly believe the Duffers aren't going to make any of their main characters homophobic:

As you said, the narrative isn't kind to homophobic characters. It portrays them as one dimensional Bad Guys.

The Duffers have made other allowances. Here's the thing, in small town Indiana in the 80s, realistically, a lot more of the characters would have a problem with Max and Lucas's relationship. A lot more of the characters would have a problem with Lucas. We get only three outwardly homophobic characters (Lonnie, Troy, Neil) and we get only two outwardly racist characters (Billy and Troy). The Duffers didn't make all of their characters racist and homophobic for the sake of realism because the characters wouldn't be likable to the audience. (Unless they're conventionally attractive in which case it seems the fandom can excuse racism.)

As you said, it wouldn't make sense narratively to have Will accept himself only to have the other characters be homophobic toward him.

Now let's talk about Hop!!

Knowing whether Will is gay is very important to Hopper's investigation. I 100% believe that Hopper was asking for this reason, he was just asking in his own blunt Hoppery way. Joyce said Lonnie "thought Will was gay, called him a f*g." When Hopper asks, "Is he?" I firmly believe that he is asking, "Is he gay?" Not, "Is he a f*g?" Hopper is just... being Hopper. He doesn't usually treat things delicately.

I definitely don't think this scene was meant to be taken as Hopper being homophobic. I will die on this hill. Remember, all outwardly homophobic characters have not only been villainized, but they have been made very obviously homophobic. It's not subtle. The Duffers aren't looking to build a narrative of This character is a generally good and likable person, they're just also homophobic. We haven't seen that from them, and we aren't going to.

I am a Hopper stan first and a person second, but I do recognize his flaws. Being homophobic just isn't one of them.

P.S. I think I'm going to paste my response into a separate post as well just so there's a version that isn't so long :)

#asks #abby rambles

[hargrove-mayfields]

Harringrove April Day 24- Afterlife

tw religious themes

Neon lights, broken glass, a monster screech, searing pain, relief. Billy looked down in just enough time to see the monster pull back from where it had impaled him, the ground rushing towards his face.

There was no moment where his life flashed before his like everyone in the movies talked about, all he saw was Max. He couldn’t hear her, he could just feel himself dying, tasting blood in his mouth as he tried to form an apology.

For everything he’d done, by his own accord and by the monsters, for everything he hadn’t done and would never be able to do. He was sorry not only to Max, but to all of her friends and to his own, but mostly to himself.

It was a terrible way to die, but at least it was quick, he thinks. He was never supposed to get a happy ending anyways. You sin, you repent. You don’t repent, you go to hell, and well, Billy never knew how exactly he was supposed to earn forgiveness when his sin was being himself, simply existing, so.

Still, he tried to make sure things would be different. He went to every service, prayed every night like a good Christian was supposed to and tried to make up for being the way he was, but those things just felt just like a performance. Especially now that he was dying, he knows all of that was just futile attempts at pleasing the man upstairs that had gotten him nowhere near any closer to the pearly gates.

He’s terrified, but he thinks he deserves what’s coming all the same. As much as he’d like to see a familiar face once he goes, he knows he doesn’t have a place in paradise.

Honestly he doesn’t think he minds it so much, where he goes after it happens; he just wants to be away from all the suffering.

Not just the pain, but everything that had led up to it, what he’d seen and done, he deserved this fate. He should repent for those he’d hurt, those he’d killed.

He just feels bad he won’t get to spend all of eternity with those he cares about, watching from down below as Max exchanges her ticket with the angels. Maybe Steve at least would end up with him too, since he was a sinner all the same, at least in the dark of the night, every third night out at the quarry, but he feels like shit for even thinking that.

But, as the mall blurs to nothingness around him, just before the unseen forces could fulfill those worries and wishes, Billy wakes up.

His alarm clock goes off on the bedside table, and he startles so badly he falls out of his bed.

Frantically he searches for the gaping hole in his chest, the bleeding bite marks all along his sides, but they come back with nothing. He lets his head fall back and hit the floor, and laughs, exasperated. It had all been a dream.

He picks himself up off the floor, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and he freezes. Minutes pass as he stares at his reflection, creeping sense of dread like something was missing sending a chill up his spine.

He could imagine the blood all down his torso, the monster that had impaled him looming behind him in his reflection. His mirror image moving just a little bit in a way he hadn’t, blinking too many times, a twitch at the corner of his lip he didn’t feel.

Memories come rushing back, shattering glass and tires squealing, broken ribs and chemical burns, red hot heat, gun fire, fireworks, his blood on the tiles, agony like he’d never felt before. He wasn’t the most responsible when it came to what he put in his body, but no amount of the cheap drugs he could find at parties could make him feel all of that .

It hadn’t been a dream. He had lived through all of that and he died.

Now he was in his room, and according to his calendar it was the 27th of June, two days before he was, or would be, possessed by the shadow. He had to get to the bottom of this. Fast.

#harringrove #well implied harringrove anyways #harringrove april #billy hargrove #ej writer #story by ej! #to the anon who asked for more religious Billy #this is not my response to that! I have something else in store for you! #also this is definitely going to be continued so don’t worry! it’s a little excerpt from the wip I mentioned in the wip tag game #called second chances #there will be multiple chapters but this is the prologue to that!

[locknessiecullen]

Okay, so, Twilight, but with diversity! - Part 1.

This post was inspired by these (1) posts - but mainly this one by @macaroon22 which wasn’t originally credited because I couldn’t find it - but here (2) !

- Bella is bi-racial, Renee is originally from New Orleans – black/creole.

- Charlie’s half Quileute. He grew up visiting his grandparents on the reservation, he and Billy grew up together, he didn’t learn any of the stories however because his father didn’t want his son believing any of that “Native crap”. His mother being from the res, his dad just some white dude. Oh, and Renee’s eyes are hazel, Charlie’s are still brown.

- Edward and Alice are both Asian, Edward being Korean, and Alice doesn’t know her ethnic background – they reluctantly play twins even though they look nothing alike. Edward’s hair is still that weird bronze colour, Alice is eclectic and has colourful hair – she bleaches Edward’s too.

- Edward is first or second gen Korean American – I read that the first Koreans to come to America came in 1884, Edward’s grandparents were one of the few. When he got influenza, he was with his parents and a religious group.

- Carlisle and Esme are still white, they were college sweethearts who “travelled the world trying to help children”, adopting them on the way!

- Rosalie is Indian, her backstory story is similar. Her parents worked with/for white elites, and she was promised to one, Royce King.

- Emmett is black and was probably murdered by racists in the south - (I got an anon asking about why and it’s explained here)

- Rosalie does not trust men easily, especially after receiving hate for her relationship and ethnicity.

- Jasper is still from Texas…but fought for freedom? Idk, probably still white, still a nephew or whatever he was.

- Jacob is the same - but woke, loves pulling on Bella’s curls, they make jokes about it and share hair tips. If Edward stayed white he’d make jokes about that to Bella.

- Mike Newton, and all the other background characters are still white. Lauren (is that her name?) makes fun of Bella’s hair – saying she can’t see past it and thinks it’s ugly – Jessica just doesn’t like Bella. 

Anyway I’m trying to write this - but I do have more follow up posts coming!

#twilight #twilight rennaisance #midnight sun #bella swan #edward cullen #olympic coven #twilight au #rosalie hale #jasper hale #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #twilight saga #twilight renaissance #mine

[typinggently]

I just read your frank billy post and uuuuuuugh now i have feels again. do you have any fic or art recs for them? thank you so much

aw, anon ;^; ♥️♥️♥️ I feel you!!!

And I’m so happy you go ta kick out of it haha

Regarding art - I honestly am only aware of lelelego, who has at this point mostly moved on to the IT guys (I keep forgetting their shipname, I’m sorry. You know the ones). Still, their brank tag has both art and fic recs, it hasn’t been updated in a while but... it’s still very very nice  

Fics - there also isn’t all that much? Sadly? Wheat from Chaff used to be rather active (I think they’re friends w lego?), but they too haven’t posted new content since the beginning of the year. Still, Heart of a Dog is kind of the Go To AU fic for Frank/Billy I think? We love a “unapologetic gangsters falling in love and fighting it all the way” moment. And one my personal favourites is Eat your ego, honey. It’s not very nice (or clean, or sane) but to me it’s still one of the hottest fics for them and I reread it religiously u,u If you enjoy bloody Frank, you might like this one

There’s also StackerPentecost who has a lot of very nice fics and who still uploads :’) A true beacon of light. More than Chicken soup has some nice dirty talk and unconventional but sweet ways of dealing with sick and needy partners :’)

Also there’s the iconic “Billy gets gets it from the whole team and Frank stumbles in” ...👀

(my taste is terribly nsfw, I’m so sorry if you were looking for sweet cuddles. I can’t even recommend a pure goofy and sweet song to listen to because I have a thing for soft-sweet romance with a tad of melancholy. But “Ruthless” by the Marías is perfect for that - it has the longing, the seduction, the sweetness, it’s one of my favourite songs for them atm :’) Billy in all his gorgeousness being absolutely over the moon for his best friend is 👌🙃)

-

Sadly, there is VERY little content for the boys at this point and I’m just in fierce denial about it. A shame, considering they’re such interesting characters.

-

I’m really, really bad at finding people on tumblr or I would recommend some blogs. Surely there are some active ones left, but I’m really clueless - I’ve only had this sideblog since the beginning of the year, so I’m mostly just cawing ideas into the void :v

Thank you so much for this ask, dearest, and I hope I could help at least a little 😭♥️♥️♥️

#brank #writing this took like. hours. #I'm so sorry ahhhh #also there is in general and IMO not enough bossy bitch Billy representation. Very sad about that. #yeah yeah he's called 'punisher' etc but I still want frank in a collar and/or handcuffs thank YOU #also thank you so much. again. this was such fun u.u

[thepokyone]

Antiseptic

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader

Content/Warnings: angst; a little fluff

Words: 1378

A/N: Woo, I’m proud of this one. It took me a couple days to write but I really like the angsty look into Billy’s head that it gives, so I hope you like it as well! And as for the anon who requested this, I better get bonus points for those tears. Where are my bonus points, anon.

The call came right as Billy was about to slip into bed. It was nearly midnight, so it was no surprise when Neil yelled at him to get the phone. Billy didn’t have the energy to argue, so instead he simply headed towards the other room to the phone. He picked it up, trying to stifle a yawn as he mumbled a greeting into the speaker.

“Billy?” He wasn’t sure he knew the woman on the other end of the phone, though she sounded vaguely familiar.

“Yeah,” He said. “Who’s this?”

“This is Y/N’s mom.” So that’s how he knew her. Though it still didn’t explain why she was calling in the middle of the night. “There’s been an accident. Y/N is in the hospital.”

It took his tired brain a moment to process the words. But realization was like being doused in ice water, electrifying his body and snapping him awake. “What?”

“S-She was hit by a drunk driver on the way home from a friend’s.” He realized that your mother’s voice was trembling. “She’s in surgery. The doctors say she’ll be fine, but… I thought you should know.”

Billy didn’t ask how your mom knew to call him. If there was one thing about families that he understood, it was that mothers know. They always know. With great effort, he finally spoke. “Thank you. For telling me. Do you want me to…?”

“Oh no, sweetie. No. You can come by in the morning, she’ll be out of surgery by then. Just stay home and try to get some rest, alright?” Her voice had the same pleading edge to it that yours often did when you wanted something from him. It was what persuaded him to agree, begrudgingly, to stay home. Even though his entire being felt like it was drowning, his legs weak and his lungs cement, the weight of the unknown pressing against him from all sides.

“Who was it?” Neil shouted as Billy shuffled numbly back to his room.

Billy fumbled with a lie and hoped his father wouldn’t question it. “Uh… wrong number.”

He didn’t hear a response, so his lie must have been believable. Even as he curled up underneath his covers, Billy knew he wouldn’t get any sleep. His body was tired but his mind was awake, panicking, reeling, trying to make sense of what had happened. Seconds were minutes and minutes were eons, oozing by and leaving him teetering on the edge of full-fledged, unbridled panic the longer they lasted.

Later, Billy would confess that he didn’t know how he made it through the night without completely breaking down. He would also say that it didn’t matter. As soon as the first rays of sunlight were peeking over the horizon, Billy was dressed and out of the door, tearing out of the driveway with a distinct lack of finesse compared to his usual driving style.

“Visiting hours don’t start until eight,” The receptionist told him. “You’ll have to come back later.”

“Please,” Billy said desperately, hands clenched so tightly around the edge of the counter that his knuckles had gone white. “She’s my girlfriend, she’s been in an accident, her mom said-”

“Billy?” Relief flooded through him as your mother appeared from the hallway behind the receptionist’s desk. She looked towards the receptionist. “It’s alright, he can come back. He’s practically family, anyway.”

The receptionist pursed her lips but nodded and handed him a visitor’s badge, which he had no hopes of clipping on to his shirt. His hands were trembling too much.

“Here,” Your mom said gently, taking the badge from it and clipping it on him.

“How is she?” Billy asked they walked towards your room.

“She’ll be okay.” The relief was clear in her voice. “She probably won’t wake up for a few more hours yet, and won’t be allowed to leave the hospital for another week at least. The doctors say it depends on how well she’s healing.”

Billy nodded, nerves settling. It still didn’t stop bile from rising to his throat when he saw you, pale and motionless against the hospital bed.

“Hey Billy.” Your father stood to greet him, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. It didn’t help. “I know she looks bad, but I promise the doctors say it looks worse than it actually is. According to them, they’ll be removing most of the tubing once she wakes up later.”

It still didn’t help. Billy didn’t like hospitals, they were too white and sterile and the strong antiseptic smell stung his nose. But he liked doctors even less, after his mother died in their hands, so he didn’t tend to take what the doctors said very seriously anymore. They had failed him before, and if they did again? His stomach churned at the thought, but he wouldn’t be surprised.

Billy wasn’t sure much of anything would surprise him anymore.

He was surprised, however, when your parents agreed to leave you under his supervision while they went home to shower, eat, and change their clothes. He didn’t mind, but he was… surprised. Surprised that they trusted him enough for something like that. It wasn’t like it was an exciting job, exactly, sitting at your side and waiting for you to wake up. He didn’t mind though, holding your hand and talking to you in between the visits nurses made to check in on you.

“I-I should have told you,” Billy said, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. “I should have told you that I loved you the second I realized it, but now you’re lying here and I still don’t know if you’re ever going to wake up again to be able to really hear it.”

He sniffled, blinking rapidly and realizing with only slight surprise that he was crying, tears dripping slow paths down his cheeks. “I just love you so, so much. And I was just scared that you didn’t feel the same way, because you’re you and I’m me and you deserve so much better.”

Billy wiped away the tears, leaving dampness behind on his cheeks, and reach back for your hand. And then your fingers wrapped around his own and his breath froze in his throat because that definitely wasn’t him and you were waking up. Billy wasn’t religious but he thanked God in that moment for letting you live.

“You shouldn’t talk like that.” Your voice was raspy and so incredibly weak, but you were talking. You were awake. How much had you heard? “Just the tail end.”

Billy hadn’t realized he had spoken aloud. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Depends on your definition of ‘okay’,” You mumbled. The nurses had realized you were awake and had already began to fuss around you, monitoring your vitals and checking to see if you were in any pain.

“Just tired,” You mumbled, eyes blinking blearily. Billy squeezed your hand gently, more to anchor himself than anything. You gave a faint smile and squeezed back. “But okay. I think the pain meds are kinda, uh… strong.”

“They have to be, sweetheart,” Said one of the nurses, giving you a little water to drink. “Just try and rest, alright?”

“What else am I going to do? Run a 5k?” Billy chuckled lightly - even barely awake you had the capacity to sass the nurses.

“I’d stay clear of running for a few days,” He said.

The nurses shook their heads in amusement, and after several more minutes seemed satisfied that everything was normal. They left the room with the instructions for him to notify them if anything changed. “Your parents are home,” Billy said. “They just left an hour ago or so, they’ve been here all night.”

“’S okay,” You said, stifling down a yawn. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“You should get some rest,” Billy said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Your body needs that in order to heal.”

You gave a slight nod. “I know. But Billy?”

“Yeah?”

There was a long pause in between his response and yours, long enough that he thought you had fallen asleep. But you finally did speak, before finally drifting off, four little words that loosened the tight knot that had coiled itself in his chest overnight.

“I love you too.”

Tag List: @aw-hawkeye @micachu1331 @esoltis280 @ilvermornyqueen @teaand-cookies @adri200189 @thisismysecrethappyplace @hyphymanatee

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x you #billy x reader #billy imagine #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #reader #reader insert #x reader

[qqueenofhades]

The Punisher as Medieval Romance: Tropes, Themes, and Characters

So a few days ago, an anon asked about more mythologies/inspirations for Kastle, apart from Hades/Persephone, and I mentioned that Frank’s character and his overall story arc have substantial (and fascinating) parallels with medieval romances. I was just answering quickly, but I then started to think about it in more depth, and realized that in fact, damn near all of The Punisher can be read as a modern-day medieval romance, sometimes subverting long-established tropes and sometimes playing them almost straight. This extends into Daredevil canon as well, as the characters around Frank also fit into recognizable mythic-medieval roles, and… yes. I resisted writing a long and research-heavy meta, clearly what I needed to do on the last week of term, for oh, forty-eight hours. Then, well, we know how that goes.

A note that I work specifically on medieval history, rather than medieval literature, so if I say anything clangingly bad, I hope my brethren and sistren medievalists can forgive me for it. Also, I don’t know if any of this is intentional on the part of the writers, so it’s not like I am identifying anything they’re specifically doing (or if they are, I don’t know about it), but this is just me, as a nerd, wandering into the candy store and being like “OH HEY GUYS LOOK AT THIS.” Of course, not all the examples fit in every aspect between medieval romance and modern Marvel canon, but there are still enough of them in a number of ways to make this interpretation plausible. And indeed, considering how Marvel stories have become ubiquitously embedded in our popular lexicon almost exactly in the way Arthurian legends and stories did for their medieval equivalent, it’s a noteworthy comparison.

(As you may be able to guess, this will be long.)

Let’s start with the source material. The medieval Arthurian romances are part of what is known as the Matter of Britain: the vast corpus of texts, written and rewritten across several centuries and by countless authors (usually French or English) that deals with some aspect of this mythology. Arthur, Guinevere, Lancelot, Merlin, the Knights of the Round Table, and other characters appear in various guises and playing different roles in each of these texts. They are still “themselves” on each appearance, but the interpretation and the storyline is largely up to each individual author. One may remark that this bears some similarities with the Marvel comic universe. The characters have been written and re-written in a vast array of formats from their first creation to their present modern iteration (and likewise, Hollywood is still making a King Arthur movie every other year). They have been interpreted by many authors and given different plots and re-imaginings, and are part of our collective pop-culture reference in the way that Arthurian romance and chivalric literature was in the medieval era. If Twitter had existed back then, we would have fans begging for Arthur Pendragon to be saved from Camlann the way we now have fans begging NASA to save Tony Stark. It’s a kind of cultural entertainment that you’re probably at least aware of, even if you’ve never participated in, and thus has reached similar levels of saturation. The Arthurian romances inspired endless knock-offs. We likewise have an omnipresent superhero genre. It reinvents and redefines the hero’s journey for its particular day and age on a massive scale. In some sense, we don’t even need to explain these characters or tropes, because everyone already knows who and what they are.

So… onto Frank. At first glance, he is a considerably unlikely medieval romantic hero, right? He’s rough around the edges, has (to say the least) grey morality, and is generally regarded as an outcast and a loner in his community, rather than some idealized, flawless Sir Galahad type who has never done anything wrong in his life and nobly avoids all temptation. But he’s actually a hero in the middle of his trials and tribulations and the corresponding loss (and eventual reaffirmation) of heroic identity. The broad strokes of Frank’s character arc, as seen in Daredevil season 2 and Punisher season 1, are these:

Separation from home and family;

Exile from society and the implied loss of chivalric (military) virtue;

Test of honor/contests against other knights, good and bad (Matt Murdock, Wilson Fisk, Lewis Wilson, etc);

Search for the Grail (life, restoration to honor, vengeance for his family, completion of the chivalric quest);

Partnership with worthy knights on the search (David Lieberman, Curtis Hoyle);

Resisting temptation from a knight’s wife (Sarah Lieberman);

Saving a fair maiden and having to be worthy of her love, while bound by a code of secrecy (Karen Page);

Confrontation of betrayal by an intimate/revelation of the dark side of chivalric honor (Billy Russo);

Menaced by a quasi-mythical and possibly demonic figure who must be defeated, who fights him in a parallel battle at the beginning/end of the story (Agent Orange/Rawlins);

Attempt to re-enter society and re-establish identity (end of s1, though that will be once more disrupted and complicated by s2);

All of this is, basically, the overall character arc for a medieval hero. Pretty much beat by beat. Also, while we’ve gotten used to think of ‘chivalry’ as implying a certain kind of idealized and virtuous behavior around ladies (holding doors, gentlemanly actions, whatever) that was only a small part of the overall code of chivalry – which, at its core, was an ethos about fighting, military prowess, and the display of valor through acts of war. Frank says that he loves being a soldier, and this would be a sentiment familiar to a medieval knight. Chrétien de Troyes has a line about how, essentially, only morally suspect half-men prefer peace. The soldier’s proper right, duty, and true joy in life is the practice of war, and he earns chivalry – martial renown – by doing it. It is not merely a pretty or romantic veneer on courtly behavior (though that is often how it is presented), but about war, the military, the destruction of opponents, and the very nature of being a constant soldier. To say the least, this fits Frank’s character extremely well. He is the consummate soldier who in fact needs a constant war to fight, and who has built an honorable legacy for himself (decorated Marine, Navy Cross, etc) prior to his forcible separation from society. This darker, grittier underside of chivalry, when the violence, bloodshed, and distortion of self was a constant concern, also fits very well with the tone of The Punisher.

That separation is often the keystone for a medieval hero’s journey, and functions to drive him out from the context in which he has until now been respected and earned his living. Sometimes we have an outright reason for that action, sometimes the hero just leaves Camelot and sets out on a quest, but Frank’s separation from society bears some similarity to Bisclavret, a twelfth-century werewolf romance written by a woman (Marie de France), and interesting for various reasons. (Some literature is available via Google Books.) In this case, the hero (the eponymous Bisclavret) is driven from society by the treachery of his wife, who hides his clothes so he can’t turn back from a wolf into a human and is forced to spend seven years in the forest as a beast. Of course Frank loses his wife, rather than being betrayed by her, but there’s still the connection between loss of wife – loss of home – loss of self, resulting in exile to the margins of society and transformation into a “monster.” Bisclavret never gives up his principles and identity even while forced to remain a wolf, and Frank gains a reputation as the “Punisher,” but likewise adheres to his own code of honor. He remains a knight, even if a knight-errant.

Bisclavret is rescued and brought back from the woods by an unnamed king, who sees his humanity and treats him well even as a monster (and yes, there are some definite homoerotic undertones in the fact that it’s the king’s love that restores him to himself, after his wife rejects him for his monsterhood or arguably, queerness). However, you could credibly parallel this to Frank and David Lieberman, who believes that he can help Frank and they can restore him to his former self/his good name. David of course physically helps Curtis care for Frank after his injuries in TP 1x05, and in general performs the humanizing role for the “monster.” He serves as Frank’s companion in the wilderness and believes that he is not the way the rest of society sees him (just as everyone else in Bisclavret sees him as a werewolf and has to be convinced by his good behavior that he’s really a man). Likewise, Karen recognizes early in Daredevil season 2, and never gives up in believing, that Frank still has honor. He’s (literally) not a monster to her. He has been expelled from the chivalric society in which he operated before, but he has not completely abandoned his morality.

Next, as noted, the motif of contests against other knights is essentially a central theme in all quest narratives. Frank must match his wits and skills against challengers, and be paralleled and anti-paralleled to them. One of his most obvious foils is against Matt, as they are explicitly set up as reflections and reverse images of each other. In some sense, Matt is the perfect chivalric knight, at least in DD s1/s2. His morality tends to the black and white, he always has some sense of how his faith informs or restricts his actions, and he constantly incorporates the church’s teaching into his sense of self. As Richard Kaeuper discusses in Holy Warriors: The Religious Ideology of Chivalry, this is basically exactly what the medieval church would want for a knight. Some degree of coexistence (sometimes a great deal) exists between chivalry and Christianity, but the underlying question of violence and sin always underlies it – can a man who makes his living by killing people really claim to be acting in a holy cause? Matt avoids this paradox (or tries to) by not killing anyone, but Frank almost exactly embodies the tension between these two ideologies that was ever-present in the medieval era. Clerical moralists always worried that knights were too comfortable with killing, violence, and general unethical behavior (even as they needed and co-opted that violence for their own purposes, such as the preaching and popularization of the crusades). For their part, the knights often selectively used the parts of Christianity that they liked, and fashioned it into their own ethos, just like Frank does to justify his campaign of vengeance.

In other words, Matt and Frank are perfect symbols of the struggle between church and chivalry, with Matt embodying one side (reconciliation) and Frank embodying the other (estrangement), but neither of them are completely excluded from knighthood despite their differences. They’re in fact the central tension of its existence – how violent can a knight be, and how much consideration, superficial or otherwise, does he have to pay to the church’s restriction of his ethics and behavior? There is some argument that chivalric literature was written as an attempted correction or moral instruction for real-life knights, who were supposed to take it as guidance on their own behavior and be more merciful. This isn’t always the case, since as noted, the literature exalts the very kind of violent behavior that built a chivalric reputation, but there was always that inherent wariness about how much was too much. Matt and Frank push and pull each other on this very question, end up working together at points because they are both within the system, but can’t fully reconcile.

(Also I’d like to point out: Stick, Matt, and Elektra as Merlin, Arthur, and Morgana. Stick is the mysterious, possibly immortal mentor, who teaches and mentors both of them, but also misleads and manipulates them for his own purposes. Matt becomes the ‘hero,’ son of the dead/fallen king (Uther Pendragon/Battlin’ Jack Murdock), while Elektra becomes the villainess/feared sorceress, marginalized by a society frightened of her agency and unwillingness to play nice. Also, one of Arthur’s two half-sisters, usually Morgause but sometimes Morgana, is the mother of his illegitimate son, Mordred, who is prophesied to be his destruction. So there is a dark/forbidden/taboo sexual aspect to their relationship, and just as Mordred causes the ultimate fall of Camelot, Matt and Elektra are literally caught in a falling building at the end of Defenders, which destroys their current identities. Matt enters Once and Future King stage after that and at the beginning of DDS3, where he is ‘gone’ or sleeping or suffering a crisis of faith and must summon up the wherewithal to return, and the character of Benjamin Poindexter becomes one of the many Arthur imposters. There are also some parallels for Elektra with Nimue, the ambitious young student of Merlin’s who overthrows him, ends his reign, and imprisons him in a tree.)

Anyway, back to Frank. So what are knights actually doing with all this questing? Well, various things, but they’re most often searching for the Holy Grail: symbolic of eternal life, forgiveness and atonement of sins, return to self. For this reason, few of them actually find it or are able to encounter it without being changed. It too has a deeply underlying Christian context, and Frank, the ex-Catholic, has been estranged from his belief but not separated entirely. (Likewise, if you were not worthy to look on it, you could be blinded, so… the fact that Matt himself is blind is arguably a commentary on who he actually is vs. how he imagines himself.) The Grail is also, interestingly, in the custody of a figure known as the Fisher King. He is the keeper of the castle where the Grail is hidden, and in the context of the Punisher, he’s basically Curtis.

The Fisher King, for a start, is always wounded in the legs or the thigh, and unable to stand. Some scholars have interpreted this as a metaphor for castration (since “thigh” is often a euphemism for the genitals), and that the Fisher King is passive and impotent because he is physically unable to perform warfare and thus to acquire chivalry. Either way, the Fisher King is the keeper of eternal life, but is physically disabled and needs the help of a knight to activate that power. Curtis is to some degree a subversion of this trope, because he is explicitly not helpless and functions to enable other questing knights (veterans with PTSD) to search for the Grail (health and reconciliation to society)… but in TP 1x09, he still needs Frank to save him. Frank has to encounter the Fisher King and make the correct choice/ask the right question (which wire to cut) to save him and continue his own path toward the Grail. Curtis, by running the veterans’ group, is symbolically the keeper of eternal life, where questers have to literally ask questions/talk to each other to restore themselves, and Frank, by going at the end of s1, is still trying to reach it. But true to form, with the beginning of s2, he’s not going to be able to entirely get there. There is still another obstacle/quest to overcome.

So what about Karen? Visually and to some degree topically, she is set up as the lady whose love Frank needs to obtain and maintain, even in the wilderness of his exile. Karen is blonde-haired and blue-eyed, which was often viewed in the medieval era as the ideal/most beautiful kind of woman (because white supremacy in Europe has always existed to some degree, even if in differently constructed ways. However, the thirteenth-century Dutch romance Morien, and some other ones, feature black and mixed-race protagonists, who are just as able to achieve the predicates of the heroic quest as others). She is also, as discussed above, one of the only people to believe in Frank’s honor and to reach out to help him. However, this relationship has to be kept secret, and has the potential to destroy them both if revealed. This is a fairly close parallel to another of Marie de France’s romances: Lanval (adopted in fourteenth-century English form, by Thomas Chestre, as Sir Launfal).

In brief, Sir Lanval, after being cast out from Camelot, meets a fairy woman and they become lovers, and she promises him that he will have everything he needs, as long as he keeps her secret and never mentions her to anyone. (Marie’s original version of this is much less misogynist than Chestre’s, which adds Guinevere making sexual advances to Launfal and her jealousy being the cause of him being thrown out, so yes, Dudes Ruining Stuff has a long history.) This is not an exact analogue to Frank and Karen, but keeping the code of secrecy (Karen obviously can’t tell anyone about Frank, Frank receives what he needs from her in terms of information, emotional support, etc, but likewise can’t tell anyone about it) is paramount in both relationships. Speaking about the relationship or revealing it to the outside world will result in its destruction, and the fairy lady has to vouch for Lanval’s goodness to the court in Camelot, just as Karen stoutly defends Frank to the court of public opinion/literally everyone. In some sense, while the knight has to rescue the fair maiden, the fair maiden is also the arbitrator of his fate and his overall reputation. (Also, all of TP 1x10 is  basically Lancelot, the Knight of the Cart, in which Lancelot must rescue the abducted Guinevere from Meleagant, and having to struggle with the revelation of this relationship and the fact they can’t be together and the dictates of public/proper behavior. Anyway.)

Lastly, Frank’s initial and final conflicts, and the overall shape of his quest, are dictated by his encounters with two archvillains: Billy Russo and William Rawlins, or “Agent Orange.” These are made especially painful for him by the fact that they are or were both close to him. Billy was his best friend, essentially part of his family, and as noted, there is a major theme in chivalric literature revolving around a betrayal (and subsequent murder) by those closest to you. We already discussed King Arthur being overthrown and killed by his incestuous illegitimate son, Mordred; the best-known version of that tale is of course Thomas Malory’s Le Morte d’Arthur, though only the seventh book, as linked above, actually tells the story of Arthur’s death. There is also Arthur’s half-sister and Mordred’s usual mother Queen Morgause; in the Morte, she is killed by her son Gaheris for committing adultery with Sir Lamorak and dishonoring her husband, King Lot. So in one sense, the knight is always doomed to face a betrayal from within his family, or from a close friend.

However, Billy Russo is also straight-up one of the demon knights of Perlesvaus, or, The High History of the Holy Grail. In Perlesvaus, Lancelot is haunted by the specter of these demon knights, who engage in a dark mockery of chivalric behavior, excesses of violence, and satanic imagery, and are otherwise the “dark side of the force” of honorable knighthood, as Richard Kaeuper puts it in Chivalry and Violence in Medieval Europe. Honor and chivalry are not permanent or unchangeable qualities, and in fact are very fragile. The perfect knight can and should have both of these, but he can also lose them very quickly by impious, dishonorable, murderous, or otherwise wrong actions. The demon knights are a metaphor and a commentary on the same tension we discussed in regard to Frank and Matt: when does a knight-errant become a bad knight? When does his behavior permanently transgress him and cast him beyond the reach of repentance? Billy outwardly embodies the same qualities as Frank, has been through the same wars, is part of the same order, but he isn’t a hero on a quest whose chivalric identity can eventually be reconciled to him. He has crossed too far to the wrong side of the line; now he is the embodiment of evil, a shadow parallel and a cautionary tale. He is not a knight-errant, he is merely a monster.

Then, of course, there’s Rawlins/Agent Orange. Noting the fact that his nickname is also color-coded, we can see some parallels to Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. In short, in this tale, a mysterious “Green Knight” challenges any man to strike him, with the condition that he will get to return the blow in a year and a day. Sir Gawain accepts and beheads him, after which the Green Knight stands up, picks up his head, and remains Gawain of his promise. Gawain has to struggle to both honorably keep his bargain and avoid dying, and is eventually struck at in return by the Green Knight, wounded, but not killed. In some interpretations, this has just been a test all along for Gawain to prove his honor, or an attempt by Morgana to deceive him and cause him to betray his chivalric ideals, and the Green Knight is just a pawn to achieve this. In others, the Green Knight is a potential embodiment of the Devil. (He also has a dual identity, as the Green Knight/Sir Bertilak, as Rawlins does.) Frank strikes at/beheads/blinds Rawlins, as seen in the flashbacks of TP 1x03, so Rawlins literally wants to do the same to him (an eye for an eye) in TP 1x12. In the story, Gawain and the Green Knight part on cordial terms, but in this case, Frank has to actually complete the death/destruction of his opponent. Like Gawain, however, he is wounded but not killed, and must find some way to survive his encounter with a possibly demonic entity determined to pay back in exact measure the physical wound/symbolic beheading inflicted earlier.

So. . . yes. Overall, both in the broad parameters of his character arc, in the obstacles he confronts, and the other people he meets and the encounters he plays out with them, Frank is actually an excellent hero for a modern-medieval romance. The essential core of the medieval romance was not about love, though that was often present, but about identity, adventure, and the challenge to self, and while in some places these tropes have been updated or nuanced or subverted, in others they’re played as recognizably or directly descended from their medieval counterparts, and the way in which we have thought about stories and enjoyed them for a very long time.

#mcu #the punisher #the punisher meta #frank castle #kastle #frank x matt #medieval history #medieval literature #yes of course i ended up writing this #i am nothing if not predictable #long post

[niuniente]

Hi there! If you don't mind me asking(and not to sound stupid or insensitive), can you explain the whole oracle situation? Like how to find your spirit guide, what kind of oracle you are, the lessons they teach, etc? I didn't find much in the "oracle stuff" tag😅only if you have the time and you're comfortable with it of course. Thank you!

Of course, naturally! I’m always comfortable talking about any things regarding oracle stuff, mediumship, paranormal stuff ect. I decided to start to use that tag now when I finally figured out what would be the best tag for this second profession of mine, so that’s why it’s still so empty. I occasionally talk about these spirit matters here.

I’m afraid I can’t give any short answers, as for example “How to find a spirit guide and contact them” is a theme worth of its own book (and there are PLENTY of them out there). It also includes safety measurements so that you don’t accidentally give permission to ANY type of a spirit to enter your life and connect you. You only want the helpful, kind, loving spirits to reach out for you.Simple: Ask that your spirit guides from a real of love and light will reach out for you and help you out or make their presence known. It’s ESSENTIAL that you ask your spirit guides from REALM OF LOVE AND LIGHT. Otherwise you are leaving your door open to any spirit to enter and pretend to be something they are not. I kid you not; nasty spirits use every open opportunity to step in if you don’t specify that you accept ONLY spirit contacts from real of Love and Light. This is why people are usually in trouble when they play around with spiritism or ouija boards and spirit calling of any sort without tiniest clue what they’re doing. It’s like playing with a loaded gun. Paranormal documentaries are full of these people who thought they were just having a little fun and playing around, ending up having a vicious spirit in their home, haunting them. 

It’s hell a lot of work to get rid of a nasty spirit, as some of them are stubborn and even physically violent, so better not invite them at all, alright. You wouldn’t invite a dangerous person in your home when they’re alive, so you’re not going to want to invite their restlessly wandering spirit in either, yes? Thus the statement that you accept spirit contact only from real of Love and Light. 

Erin Pavlina has a good ABC-tutorial about communicating with spirit guides. I recommend reading it. It has also tips how to see the messages your guide(s) will send you. 

Spirits always work in indirect ways and VERY rarely with words. While I can talk with my own spirit guides (and with others’, too), the messages I get from them are majority of the time indirect. Feathers are one way from them telling me that everything’s fine and relax. Another symbol of good for me is Billy Idol, as the Universe and the spirit guides have a good sense of humor; they know I like Idol a lot, so they use him as a message “everything’s fine!” If I pop randomly across with a feather or Billy Idol - name, song, pic - I know it’s a message for me. 

What kind of an oracle I am?I’m an oracle who works with oracle cards (tarot, other decks). I do past live readings, spirit guide readings, spirit animal readings and also classic oracle card readings which are meant to help you with any kind of issues or troubles in your life. I can teach and lecture about these matters. I can cleanse spaces and while I have never crossed spirits into the Light, I know how to do that, too (my sister is also an oracle, more on the medium side as dead people come to ask her help and she crossed them over easily). I know a bit of astrology, concepts of different spirits, life after death stuff, auras, energy healing ect. I can do reiki energy healing, too, but so far I offer it only for the closest people in my life. All other skills are available for paying clients.I’ve been doing oracle readings since I was 16 and I’ve read about anything paranormal related since I was 7 (yes, I was an odd child). More spiritual path I started when I was 19. I have some teachers whose studies and lectures I follow, but I’m not religious and follower of anyone or anything.One of my current fave subjects are Near-Death Experiences, as those are always full of love and peace. You can read more at nderf.org from NDE Stories.

I must ask you what do you want to know when you ask about “spirit guides teachings”? I can answer you better when I know was that question meant for me as “what do your guides teach you” or was it a general “what spirit guides teach us overall”. :)Feel free to ask more! Also off-anon via chat or note, if you want a direct, private answer! (Anyone can ask, really)

#oracle stuff #Anonymous

[munroe-foster]

Salty Ask List

@policeofficerdean requested I answer all of this I regret nothing. I won’t make you all suffer so more is under the cut.

(All of these answers are going to be for Supernatural unless I say otherwise.)

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?* Oh, I’m worried about this answer but pretty much Dean x Sam and Dean x Castiel. Incest fictional or not kind of creeps me out a lot, and I just don’t see what people see in Dean and Castiel. Honestly, I think Destiel is cute in moderation, but not a realistic. I don’t see it.

Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?* Honest, it would have to be Dean x Castiel. I really think Dean see Cass as a best friend,  one of those best friend that you don't need enemies.

Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? Ummm, no I don’t think so, but I have stopped following people who post a ton of Wincest/Destiel. I just rather not see it, I have stopped following folk who wrote A/B/O.

Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?* Um, the only one that comes to mind is Destiel.

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?* Cassie x Dean, fandom has a really annoying habit of putting Destiel stuff in their tags. I go searching for them and find Castiel x Dean stuff, one time I saw a story where Cassie was a Vessel for Castiel and I was so fucking pissed. Or they will say Cassie was a precursor to Castiel and I’m just like NO.

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?* I don’t hate a pair at all but fandom has totally made me LOVE Donna x Dean. They are so freaking cute and adorable.

Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?* Nope, after finding out about Destiel (I started to dislike Cas and Dean and frankly NO) I’ve stopped following a lot of stuff. I don’t pay any attention to a lot of fan discussions.

   Have you received anon hate? What about?* Nope, I hide from the fandom and stay on the outskirts of it I literally avoid all the big blogs and refrain from tagging in general tags. I keep my head low and stay to myself.

Most disliked character(s)? Why? Sam. I hate Sam. I’ve hated him since S1S2 Wendigo. I can not stand him he drives me crazy. Mary is another one, when they brought her back I was like okay and then the episodes and now I’m like REALLY???

Most disliked arc? Why? The Angel's arch, I feel like they lost a great opportunity there, they made them way too human. They are parentless brats who need to get their shit together. Plus I HATE what they did with the freaking lore of the angels. MoC!Dean/Demon!Dean, he could have been a bad ass but no he was just a more moody alcoholic. Oh and BMoL like why are they villains? Why? Oh and the Styne’s Really that could have been epic but nope killed them all off. 

Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why? For some reason, I freaking love Dick he was just so good.

Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why? I don’t know I’m not really a part of the fandom and I came in late sooo...I don’t know what they like so yeah.

Unpopular opinion about XXX character? I think Sam is a giant brat and frankly, he has never redeemed himself and I feel like fandom overlooks the pretty shity shit he has done.

Unpopular opinion about your fandom? They seem pretty cool, if you find the right people, some of them hold their opinions as truth and they are simply opinions that they hold. Chill.

Unpopular opinion about the manga/show? I think that after season five the series still remained good. When I head dived into the fandom and people were splitting season 5 into “Classic Supernatural” from the rest I was like wow really?

If you could change anything in the show, what would you change? Nothing with all its flaws it’s perfect. WAIT I would have not let them kill Billie.

Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen… Nothing all that I am not that creative no idea.

Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased? I never deny I have bias and does my bias play a part in my like or dislike of things yeah. I have a bias I believe that men can have a complex relationship, that is loving, and fulfilling and not have to be romantic or sexual. I don’t think it’s denial to not ship something if let’s say Dean and Cas were together. What then? Does it change the story not really it still about Sam and Dean and them hunting things. Adding a relationship doesn't do anything for me if anything it would annoy me because Cas does some pretty shity things that if he loved Dean he shows it in strange ass ways. Hell if Dean and Cassie were together what would it add? Nothing. Romantic “ships” in the show only sent Dean and Sam down some pretty dark roads or were used as an escape from their lives. It never really furthers the plot in my opinion. Ship are for fan fiction. 

What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom? How quick people are to throw around the term homophobic if you don’t ship something. My FIRST experience with the fandom people were calling Jensen homophobic/biphobic because he said Dean was straight. COMPLETELY ignoring the fact EVERYONE who is a part of the show (creatively) have said the same or similar things. Misha may play at it but I think Misha is kind of accepting of people interpretations because hey why not? I don’t think he really cares. However, people were saying that Jensen didn't’ know who Dean was and he had played him for 10+ years. As an actress I was flabbergasted, when actors take a character from page to stage/screen they know that character more intimately that any viewer can. Your interpretation and his are two different things his truth is real and valid and for you to call him homophobic because he doesn’t agree with you is trash. Have your ships but remember the cannon is legit and so is his interpretation of it.

What is the purest ship in the fandom? Meg 2.0 x Castiel I think it was kind of cute in a painful kind of way.

What are your thoughts on crack ships? I think they are cute sometimes.

Popular character you hate? SAM WINCHESTER!

Unpopular character you love? Dick.

Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not? I would never recommend this show to any of my friends, most of them are super religious.

How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX? I would have Sam and Dean retired, married and happy with families that don’t have to worry about what goes bump in the night.

Most shippable character? Dean, he goes with anyone really because he’s perfect.

Least shippable character? Lucifer.

#woo. #spn

[13flowersandfoxes]

1-169 because I saw your tag and I'm a reasonable man

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?Idk I like being tall until there are no tall guys who want to date me 
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)Does that include realistically? Cause I'd love to have a fox or a snow leopard but foxes are expensive and there's no domestic snow leopards I've heard of. 
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?I just wear what strikes me. I'm kinda all over the place style wise but I'm very true to myself. 
4: What was your favorite video game growing up?Soul Calibur II
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:My best friend, my cat, food?
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?Crazy bitch approach with caution
7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]I don't remember these well enough to say
9: Are you ticklish?... 
10: Are you allergic to anything?Morphine 
11: What’s your sexuality?Bi
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?Not coffee
13: Are you a cat or dog person?Both
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?Elf. Especially a Tolkien elf. 
15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?Not really
16: How tall are you?5'11
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?Billie
18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]250
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?In a way yes
20: Do you like space or the ocean more?Ocean. But both scare me in a way 
21: Are you religious?Yes
22: Pet peeves?People chewing loud or leaving cabinets open
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?Nocturnal 
24: Favorite constellation?Orion
25: Favorite star?Betelgeuse 
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?No
27: Any phobias or fears?Being alone
28: Do you think global warming is real?Believe pollution is an issue. But not sure I trust politicians and scientists with an agenda when other scientists are saying they are wrong. And they're trying to say they're stupid or crazy or should be killed for disagreeing. I just have a hard time trusting that people who do that are actually right. 
29: Do you believe in reincarnation?No
30: Favorite movie??
31: Do you get scared easily?No
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?3
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]7
34: What is a color that calms you?Green 
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?Germany 
36: Where were you born?California 
37: What is your eye color?Green
38: Introvert or extrovert?Introvert
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?No but I think they're harmless fun. I don't get why some people freak out like they're so bad to talk about hypothetically. I just think it's fun. 
40: Hugs or kisses?Both. Both is good
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?My cat and my best friend(s). And that's gonna be happening soon as I'm on the plane right now. 
42: Who is someone you love deeply?My cat :P
43: Any piercings you want?Not really. Maybe my lobes. 
44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?Not excessively. But I love beautiful pieces of art and can really appreciate the art that goes into both. 
45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?No
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!Ugh he's a writer loves cats one of my best friends, a little eccentric, and he's genuinely understanding. We've both gone through some hard shit and we trust each other in that
47: What is a sound you really hate?Coughing. People talking obnoxiously loud in public places that are generally quiet. I can't think of anything more specific okay I'm on a plane right now. 
48: A sound you really love?My cat. Also my aunts cat cause he can't meow right he sounds like a dying squeaky toy and I can't stop laughing
49: Can you do a backflip?No
50: Can you do the splits?Almost
51: Favorite actor and/or actress?Dunno. Like Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie to name a couple random ones. 
52: Favorite movie?Too manyyyy
53: How are you feeling right now?Tired and a little dizzy. I have a headache right now :(
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?I'm happy with it being red. I'd like it to look slightly more orange though
55: When did you feel happiest?I'm not sure. Happy things seem tainted now. 
56: Something that calms you down?Animals 
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]Bpd, possibly along with bipolar type 2 as suspected by my psychiatrist. 
58: What does your URL mean?I feel like I was something that had potential to be beautiful and good but it's just broken and painful now. 
59: What three words describe you the most?Crazy. Weird. Catlike. 
60: Do you believe in evolution?Yes. 
61: What makes you unfollow a blog?Being constantly douchey, or just annoying the shit out of me. I'm pretty nice though generally, I follow all sorts of people and I tend to like having variety in who I follow so I don't feel like I'm hearing the same shit over and over. It's a bit dull
62: What makes you follow a blog?Interesting content. Seems nice. Especially if they follow me first 
63: Favorite kind of person:Idk someone nice and funny that I can talk to easily. 
64: Favorite animal(s):I've said this so many times lol
65: Name three of your favorite blogs.Kellyann Saint Louis???
66: Favorite emoticon:💜💜💜💜 or 😊😊
67: Favorite meme:I miss the bad audition songs one. But I do have a special place in my heart for screencaps+tumblr posts/onion articles 
68: What is your MBTI personality type?Infj
69: What is your star sign?Sagittarius 
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?Nope. She can sit and that's about it. She's not very bright. 
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?Jeans and floral/sheer top
72: Post a selfie or two?Make separate post
73: Do you have platform shoes?Yeah
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?I have webbed toes
75: Can you do a front flip?No
76: Do you like birds?To look at, but I probably wouldn't ever have one as a pet
77: Do you like to swim?Yes
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?Swimming cause I'm very new to ice skating I've done it twice and once was on crappy skates that really hurt my feet. The other time I was doing circles okay following the wall
79: Something you wish didn’t exist:The dark shit I've seen on here
80: Some thing you wish did exist:A special hell for people who do that shit
81: Piercings you have?My daiths
82: Something you really enjoy doing:Cooking sometimes
83: Favorite person to talk to:My best friend 
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?Well I remember in middle school when it was brand new everyone was getting one and I tried it and I was just like How the Fuck do I do anything then the next time I had heard Things and knew somewhat what to expect 
85: How many followers do you have?280 ish
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? Lol no
87: Do your socks always match?I'm wearing one sock with cats and one black sock. Does that answer that well enough for you? Lol
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?I think so I don't remember 
89: What are your birthstones?Topaz
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?My friend used to say I'm part cat. Maybe fox cause they're basically half cat half dog. 
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?Orchid
92: A store you hate?Torrid cause I spend way too much shopping there I can't walk in without buying something 
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?0
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?Fly
95: Do you like to wear camo?No
96: Winter or summer?Winter
97: How long can you hold your breath for??
98: Least favorite person?This nightmarish girl who was homeschooled and was like a fundie Christian Mormon afraid of doctors and lesbians and gum and Twinkies (im literally not exaggerating) and was just loud and obnoxious and annoying in high school. 
99: Someone you look up to:Not sure. 
100: A store you love?Torrid
101: Favorite type of shoesOxfords
102: Where do you live?Utah
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?No
104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?Amethyst. Also there's this green stone I have somewhere in my house I got from a roadside shop in Zion it's so pretty it's like quartz looking. I can't remember what it was. But it's pretty 
105: Do you drink milk?Not really
106: Do you like bugs?Not particularly 
107: Do you like spiders?^^^^
108: Something you get paranoid about?People hating me/being bothered by me
109: Can you draw:No
110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?Got an anon once I deleted asking my favorite things to do when I'm having sex. That was probably it that wasn't called for. 
111: A question you hate being asked?"Are you working or in school right now?"
112: Ever been bitten by a spider?Maybe. Woken up with lots of bug bites in my day, most all of them mosquitoes but some not
113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?Yeah
114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?Cloudy
115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:Idk
116: Favorite cloud type:? I just like clouds
117: What color do you wish the sky was?Idk I'm fine with it being blue but I like purple sunsets
118: Do you have freckles?No :(
119: Favorite thing about a person:Eyes or the sort of things they find funny
120: Fruits or vegetables?Fruits
121: Something you want to do right now:See my damn cat
122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?Yes
123: Sweet or sour foods?Spicy
124: Bright or dim lights?Depends 
125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?No
126: Something you hate about Tumblr:People
127: Something you love about Tumblr:People
128: What do you think about the least?? If I thought about it then it wouldn't be thought of least
129: What would you want written on your tombstone?Not sure. I'm tempted to go with something morbid like memento mori just to be a little shit forever
130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?Idk
131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?My boobs
132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?I try not to. But I end up looking angry
133: Computer or TV?Both
134: Do you like roller coasters?Yeah
135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?Yes
136: Are your ears lobed or attached?Lobed
137: Do you believe in karma?No
138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?5
139: What nicknames do you have/have had?I have one friend who used to call me Hanukkah, then brosef calls me hanners 
140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?No
141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?Lol yes
142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?Idk I try to be a good influence but some people's parents have said I'm bad .... so idk
143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?Both!
144: What makes you angryIdk just bullshit lol
145: How many languages do you speak fluently?1
146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?Boys
147: Are you androgynous?Nope
148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:Eyes or lips
149: Favorite thing about your personality:Idk I'm friendly
150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.My best friend, my girl best friend, and ?? My sister maybe
151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?I can't choooooose
152: Do you like BuzzFeed?For dumb little shit like dog stuff or "boys try this" yeah I think it's fun but if you think it's actually journalism you're sorely mistaken
153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]
154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?No. cheeks yes. 
155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?Yes
156: What embarrasses you?Lots of things. 
157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:Talking to people. 
158: Biggest lie you have ever told:Idk
159: How many people are you following?700 ish
160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?Idk
161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)??
162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?Idk
163: Last time you cried and why:Idk
164: Do you have long or short hair?It's medium but I wants it to be long again I miss it being long even if it's a lot of work
165: Longest your hair has ever been:past my chest
166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?I say if something helps people and doesn't harm others in their lives let them. 
167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?Not that much TBH
168: Do you like to wear makeup?Yes
169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?Never tried but probably not