#to process what just happened to me

[agrebel18]

some guy winked at me during one of my classes yesterday and now i'm studying him like a scientist studies cells under a microscope

#romance mention #full story in the tags btw #i'm honored and confused at the same time because i was zoned out and wearing a mask and made eye contact with this dude for a few seconds #and then he smiles and winks???? i do find him aesthetically good looking so that caught me off guard and i had to take a break #to process what just happened to me #i kinda wanna ask him was his intentions were with that because i'm curious #but meanwhile i'm just kind of keeping an eye on him aka 'studying' him just to see what happens #ALSO let me clarify that we're not strangers. we're mutuals on instagram and share a few friends and classes #aggie posts

[luppiart]

Hihi haha hoho huhu *im insane

#what just happened #thanks gaiman for pulling my hair and dragging me on the floor #can’t believe i waited 14 years to get punched #brb gonna process all this #coffee theory my beloved #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #otp #fanart #de bons présages #a/c #drawing #sketch #goodomens2 #such pain #Spotify

[wispscribbles]

Ghoap sketch page

#ghostsoap #soapghost #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #cod fanart #my art #doodle #I found a new brush again and so #had to test it #anyone else sorta freaking out about mw3?? hhahahah couldn’t be me (is me) #I have fics in process that could be wildly changed by what happens to our lads #just hope it doesn’t somehow kill my hyperfixation #because this is my source of serotonin at the moment (this entire year) #I am so angry that I allowed cod to have any power over me #absolutely devastating for my pride #(said with love)

[miguxadraws]

something awful (Not the forum)

@spitinsideme i'm sorry

#i had this idea and needed to get it out of my head #i was losing it #she's absolutely shocked #still processing what happened #lmao #jesus christ #absolutely disgusting!!!!!! #anyway #currently not having much time for art but #i can still make low quality stuff #also please answer me something #demon ragatha needs blood right?? #or am i mistaken #if so does period blood count #i swear i'm just asking for curiosity #no dark intentions or anything #period blood #cw blood #tw blood #cw suggestive #suggestive #shitpost #my art #tadc pomni #tadc ragatha #tadc au #tadc fanart #the amazing digital circus #buttonblossom #pomni x ragatha

[jojo-schmo]

My job is burning around me and I’m only seen as an expendable cog in a giant corporate machine, but at least I have Helpy to lend a brightly colored hand!!! <3

#am I talking about fazbear entertainment or my irl job? nobody knows #what I do know is today I found out we’re getting a salary increase freeze for 6 months at least #which in corporate speak probably means a year or more #and restructuring of the company may happen after that #who needs a livable wage? not me obviously #anyway I just needed my small pink boy to cheer me up and it helped a lil #it was fun drawing his blush that way I may keep doing that. hehe #and he must have pretty pink eyeshadow #I’ll be all good in a few days just processing my life asmkcpjsdklc #my baby bear my little skrunkly guy….. #I need a plush of him to kiss on the forehead… #fnaf #fnaf help wanted #help wanted 2 #five nights at freddy's #helpy #fnaf helpy #art

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud.. #but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

[turtleblogatlast]

The fact that Leo can go literally anywhere on earth to be alone with his thoughts at a single moment’s notice is something that shakes around in my head all the time. Like, portals and teleportation are amazing and convenient abilities both in and out of battle, but they could also so easily be used to run away as well.

I don’t think Leo ever would, at least not most of the time. He loves his family too much, and is too dependent on their love and attention to cut himself off so suddenly like that, but it’s a very real possibility nonetheless.

It’s a good thing Leo’s overall temper is more on the mild side and he prefers going to his room or something to complete solitude, because it really is dangerous for a kid to have the ability to isolate themselves like that at their fingertips.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #and like #it doesn’t even have to be on purpose either #anything could happen where Leo goes out to travel real quick somewhere and suddenly he can’t get back #sure Donnie has the trackers but trackers only do so much when the one you’re tracking is across the globe #that one short of Leo ending up trapped hanging off the Eiffel Tower all alone when he’s still new to portaling #is actually a bit terrifying when viewed through a more serious adult lens #don’t mind me just doing what I like to do best aka think about Leo and his abilities #I’m still saying tho that his abilities make running away so easily #and he’s quite good at that #even if he’s physically there his MASK lets him run away from truly processing unwanted situations or conversations #imagine Draxum telling the boys about the other hidden cities and Leo takes it upon himself to go scout them out #and he does so going around and letting his bros know of the cities he finds here and there #only to end up in one that cuts off foreign mystic energy #like imagine being suddenly cut off and alone #this ability can be SO USEFUL up until it’s cut off midway and suddenly uh oh it’s horrifying

[roselise]

ʚ 🎀 ɞ ⊹ . ˚ * . Hello, sweet friends ! ♡

It has been a while since I shared an outfit so I thought I might as well put this one up here ♡

(Some might have seen this on my other blog? Well I will put this up here anyway for those who did not! It is still a very nice outfit after all)

I know it is a bit simple, but the ribbon and tights make it special ! This was an outfit for going to the bookstore, but it is nice for school and lots of other places, too c:

What about everyone else? Was sort of places have you been going ??

I am sorry I have been so quiet and have not replied to things yet! I will do so when I feel better, and truly I hope no one feels ignored ♡

Seeing everyone’s kindness during this time has really warmed my heart though — so thank you *so* much!

It means much to me, and I am giving all that love back times a *billion* in return ♡

Sending soft hugs & sweet thoughts to all my friends! I pray that everyone has a blessed day, and takes care ~ !

⊹ 🤍 ˚ . 🎀 ⊹ ˚ ♡

♡ ⊹ . ˚ 🧁 XOXO ⊹

⊹ 🧸 ˚ . 🤍 ⊹ ˚ ♡

#♡ #me #selfie #i have a pretty dress i will wear for easter c: #it is my fairy dress ! #so i plan to put up new stuff soon when i have more energy no worry ♡ #no matter what is happening in my life — easter is a time of hope and great joy for me ♡ #i am looking forward to sunday and the sermon and worship and just having a good day celebrating Christ ! ♡ #thank you again for thinking of me and my dad during this time ♡ #my last visit was a bit difficult and i confess i am not sure i am processing all this well #but i am doing my best #giving a big hug and much gratitude to all the kind souls here ♡ #you are loved and i am praying blessings over you and the happiest day ok ? ♡ #xo ! ♡ #🤍 ˚ . 🎀 ⊹ ˚ ♡

[treasureplcnet]

also quite obsessed with karl being as detached from the story as he is. there's nothing that makes him have to be the detective that has to be involved, but he unknowingly dooms himself by agreeing to work with the KYAL cult. every other detective basically deals with elias head on except weissman, who only meets him right before he kills him. like he's right when he says "by my choices" because everything that leads him to being mixed up with the mannix cult is himself. it's the gambling debts and the choice to do the dirty work for an organisation he knows nothing about. he's the only one that doesn't encounter that body doing police work and it's specifically because he's told to cover it up. he gets himself into the mess and eventually fixes it but the fact that esther always dies in the doomed timelines and he's always too late even if he starts wanting to change things ("till this child. esther.") it just makes me very ill

#sorry jane who heard this on her dms but now im posting it to tumblr cause im having a category 5 woman moment. AND ALTERNATIVELY: #i am also EXTREMELY obsessed with how its a time loop and the idea (so sorry tumblr user whose post i have lost and was inspired by) #weissman was just so fucking hard to deal with that they made sure that he was in their pockets. i just like the idea of the loop-- #--having like. fixed points that elias would need to ensure the dystopia (body is covered up/the investigation closes/etc) but #how they get there is a slightly slower process and the earliest loops were the messiest/most unpredictable #and what we see in the show itself is like. the most streamlined version over hundreds of loops and attempts #so karl specifically. lonely that he is and determined to survive. AND with a cruel streak against people he doesn't like #kept nearly blowing their operation so they began to incorporate him in it instead #there's also another tragedy in there if /esther/ is what they realise works best against him.. #just love and kindness for a girl that weissman comes to see as family and they immediately exploit it after learning during an early loop #im ignoring specific plot points here (polly seemingly panicking when esther shows up at the station) but I DO NOT CARE. #THERE'S ANGST HAPPENING RN. IM CREATING SCENARIOS TO HURT ME #now if i could write coherently this would be written as a fic but im stuck writing too long textposts #karl weissman #bodies 2023 #bodies netflix #sorry to the other detectives. weissman in particular is my babygirl who i devote most of my brainpower to #personal

[hwaitham]

⸝⸝ ˙˳ ⑅ first piece of marginalia ( of many , hopefully :3 ) about eremite!al haitham && akademiya student!reader ♥︎ f!reader + not proofread + subtly implied trauma on both reader n haitham's end

you first meet the eremite who's to serve as your bodyguard throughout your research expedition on the day of your departure, at your designated meeting spot under the pavilion in pardis dhyai. its stone pillars cascade with vines of sumeru roses that shine a sweet lavender hue under the morning sun— one of which you've plucked and tucked into your hair earlier, leaning over the railing to gaze at your reflection in the pond and smile at the beauty of it.

(and a petal which has unknowingly slipped off and fallen to rest ever so delicately within the dip of your clavicle.)

“al haitham, yes? um, hello!” you greet the eremite as he walks into the pavilion with a quiet waver to your voice, bow respectfully, try to still the timid pitter-patters of your heart that only seem to worsen the longer you're in his presence.

because this man standing before you is large— tall, broad, as stunning as the pale blue moon. his upper body is strapped with tough sinew and yet his waist remains lean, torso mostly bare save for the pashmina shawl draped about his neck and the worn leather holster slung across his chest.

and he's silent. offering you only a small bow in return before giving you a quick once over, gait unhurried as he takes one, two long strides to stand by your side. it's an arduous task to bring yourself to look up at his face, but you do— lips parting in awe when you realise he's unlike any other desert eremite you've met before.

the trimmed red silk tied around his head shelters only one of his eyes.

how interesting, you think to yourself, for what you know of desert eremites is that they are convinced all things betray, even their own sight.

you bite your tongue to stop the questions that bubble and ebb at the forefront of your throat from tumbling past your lips, the innate scholarly need to learn and dissect and digest and know. a surprised little squeak escapes you instead when he turns his head and catches you staring, meeting your curious eyes with technicoloured cyan.

“is something the matter?”

“no, not at all! i'm sorry, i didn't mean to stare,” you flush hot under the intensity of his gaze, play with the flouncy sleeve of your blouse while you giggle nervously. you're unsure whether it's his size, or his beauty, or his quiet dominance that makes you feel much more shy than you'd like to feel, far too giddy— as if you're a little girl back in grade school.

“alright. shall we get going then? we're losing daylight with each second that passes.” al haitham holds a hand out in front of you, waiting expectantly.

you tilt your head in confusion and pout. what's he asking for? a tip? your hand?

“your bags?” he heaves a sigh, rests his other hand on his hip. you feel a hint of irritation in his words, and your heart wilts a little, “did you want me to carry them?”

“oh!” you exclaim in realisation before hoisting your travel bags further up your shoulders, force a reassuring smile on your lips. “it's okay, i couldn't possibly ask that of you. i can handle it myself, really!”

that couldn't be further from the truth, and al haitham sees right through it, with your shoulders hunched forward from the leaden weight of your bags slung atop them, the wince in your step as you walk towards the pathway, how you nearly topple over when you lose the slightest bit of balance.

“hey,” he pinches his brow, a certain roughness in his voice when he calls out to you that withers into something more gentle, tender after you turn to look at him. sweet and innocent and dewy-eyed. like a flower too frail, one whose stem may snap clean off if looked at the wrong way. “let me take them.”

al haitham doesn't allow you to protest, swiftly lifting your bags from your shoulders and holding onto them with ease, their weight nothing compared to what he's had to endure throughout the entirety of his life.

“it's my job to take care of you these next few weeks, and i intend to do it well.” he walks ahead of you, the longer mint strands of his hair swaying with the wind, the air around him lifting into something lighter— even if it's only by the most minute amount. “besides, you'll tip me generously if i do, won't you?"

his voice lilts mischievously, and you can only bring yourself to watch on in awe. nerves melting into excitement, cheeks warming not from timidness, but anticipation of what lies ahead in the next month— for your research, yes, but also for something closer to your heart.

a companion, a friend.

you smile a smile that reaches far past your eyes, bounding up to him with those clumsy fawn legs as you try to match his pace. two of your steps for one of his own. “of course i will, thank you so, so much! and i'll do my best to keep from making trouble for you— it'll make your job easier too, i hope!”

al haitham hesitates for a brief moment when you thank him so earnestly, so wholeheartedly, so unlike any of the other scholars he'd been commissioned to act as a guard for. with your smile so cloyingly sweet and your kindness so childishly naive, he can't help but feel a bit grim.

how much violence did it take for you to become this gentle?

the faintest of smiles— honeysuckle soft— curls up on his lips and he gives your head a single pat, sweeps the spare rose petal off of your clavicle, quietly wonders what he's gotten himself into by accepting this commission.

“silly girl. come, let's get going.”

#haitham ❤︎ #&(*^&@)*(&& hieeee ! ! omgeeb so 🥺 this is how i imagine reader n haitham to meet in this au . . #i rllie like imagining alhaitham w someone who is more . . . gentle n naive n almost timid ?? like despite all The Horrors they are still #not worn down by it all ( or so it seems C; ) n remain tender towards the world #bcos . as we know . alhaitham is . . not exactly that . he is much more guarded n cautious after experiences frm his own life #+ also seeing what happens to others #so putting him with his ' diametric antithesis ' jus sounds rllie precious in my eyes 🥺🥺 #how they cn learn frm each other ! show each other something they've never seen before 🥺 #maybe fall a little in love in the process . . . WAAAH #anws :3 anywhosies :3 this is what this au is all about :3 n i hope ! ! ! i hope #if / when i continue to post lil blurbs about it #this is what u envision too :3 #WAH ! #um um um ! ! 🥺 if u like this au or wnt to see more of it . . . then may i selfishly ask u to interact with this post ?? #even a like is fine ! ! or u can tell me too ! #'s just to gauge interest bcos rn i dont weally knowwww if anyone is interested in this besides like . #Me ><

[fadedapparition]

wait so elves are about "lips struggling to shape language your parents lived," losing your tongue and losing your home as functions of the same processes. dwarves are orphans living among the graves of their ancestors in the titans that are their murdered parents. the qunari revere a sage who said you can’t fight time because the harder you fight, the more quickly the sea will wear you away. god killed his wife and deserted you. this entire setting is about mourning

#this is like a huge stating the obvious moment but bear with me. i am stupid. #and the stories themselves are about parents and siblings and what happens when they are taken from you #dao is about losing your family da2 is about losing your family da3 is about. idk magic jesus it's not important #actually jk it’s about losing yourself in the process of apotheosis/your induction into an imagined history built by people who are not you #yeah just checked it’s all mourning

[ahappydnp]

need a dapg video where it's just like 'what happened behind the scenes of this moment'

wanna hear them talk about the angry bookstore dad or how they genuinely felt after those insane m&g crowds at vidcon/sitc or how much shit they talked after a youtuber event or what were they feeling after the first tatinof show

#like not necessarily the big moments or even private stuff but like the emotions behind the scenes? #idk i was rewatching an old zoella vlog where 7000 fan were surrounding them in london #and she had a moment after where she verbally processed what just happened and how she was feeling about everything #and i cannot fathom dnp ever being that vulnerable ESPECIALLY in that era but now?? #tell me how it actually felt to see thousands of people scream for you or what was the most surprisingly overwhelming moment #or when did the reality of this life actually Hit

[couldneverhurtusnow]

[chemistry] it's not a word that actors [use]. but you must endeavor a little bit to try and fall in love, in whatever that capacity is. and andrew is a very easy person to fall in love with. he's kind, generous, talented. we shot the film at the perfect junction in our friendship where there was a lot we didn't know about each other, but there was mutual admiration and respect. and a similar sense of humor. (...) yeah, it felt fizzy when we were acting. especially with that first scene at the door -- it's so well-written. you feel like you're dancing through the scene, you can go in loads of different ways, and if i went one way, andrew would go another. if that's what chemistry is, i was aware it was happening.

-- paul on chemistry and whether ‘they (andrew & paul) knew instantly that their onscreen relationship was working’ in all of us strangers, screendaily.com (1/31/24)

#i just find this whole acting thing & the process actors have to go through very fascinating. how so many of them have said that your -- #mind knows that it's not real; it's make-believe but your body doesn't & it gets blurred & your body gets tricked into thinking it's -- #actually experiencing all of that. no wonder sometimes actors need to take some time to recover from/get over a specific role they played. #i just recently saw claire foy talk about this & how 'you're falling in love with a person you're not in love with.' and there's a -- #psychological thing happening where you can either suspend belief or you can make real what's happening. and that it can get very confusing #& how when she was watching this movie her body would react -- tears & heart palpitations -- but not because of what she saw on screen -- #but because she (her body) was remembering it. it's wild & i don't think i'd ever be able to do it. #reminds me of what jessica chastain said about 'scenes from a marriage' & how her & oscar's years long friendship was changed after that #idk how these people do it; honestly; especially those actors who play really dark characters & put themselves in their minds (evan peters) #paul mescal #andrew scott #all of us strangers

[solargeist]

It hurt in the beginning, but it hurt much MUCH more later on. You aren't even really aware that things are happening to you. They are subtle like that. After all, They have had the chance to prefect this process down to almost the second of becoming like Them.

Unfortunately, the perfected method is very painful. You feel it in your bones. Just a dull ache that makes you think of growing pains as a child. Something that once was easy to do; no longer works for how your body is structured (like climbing a tree or how when you used to cry, it would always be with tears that made your face too hot).

The shift from bones to being in your muscles would seemingly happen over night. Tendons feeling too rubbery and bendable and cartilage always became brittle. The nosebleeds became normal, and you are reassured that it is normal. (After all, it is to them.)

Eventually, it buzzes under your skin. Sometimes it feels like a phone vibrating under anywhere that might have blood, but then others it's impossible not to think of their being insects just under the first layer. (There are no bugs in the End. You know that. At least, you haven't seen any Endermites...) You hear it in your ear drums. Your teeth rattle ever so slightly in a way that makes your jaw hurt. The perpetual motion makes stomachs easier to upset and falling asleep almost impossible.

But eventually, after sitting too long in discomfort, you find out the meaning of these sorenesses. It is so much easier to mold something if it has been made pliable. They desire to bend, to snap, to stretch you as far as you'll go and then go farther.

Watchers are massive things in their fullness. Large and hulking creatures that can blot out the sun at their full hight. But one simply does get to being that size naturally. No, they had to be pulled up; spines and fingers being elongated, arms and legs extending out, and smiles made even wider to show more teeth.

The smile is why Grian doesn't ever bother having one shown. He hates to remember hooks pulling at his cheeks.

-Phantom

The way you go from DMing me to put him in a microwave, to this, is always fascinating, really, a littol gift to me 🫶

I think the Watcher holds his hair back when he’s sick, or gently rubs his back when he’s sore, even though it’s their fault he’s like this!!

#ask #watcher grian #body horror #it’s such a slow process. i think it just happens to anyone in that domaine… or using the magic.? the more he eats? #taken on trips to use magic. to guide. to watch. and then slowly realizing what’s happening when his hands don’t stop hurting #boy ur growing talons 👍 #the vibrating/buzzing in his skin is his pineapple blood 😭😭😭 it’s canon to me #i understand him . i also get pain in my fingernails and ear cartilage #he’s going to grow eyes on his brain bloodborne style #anyway thank U twin for this u fuel me and my insanity over grian #creatureAU

[flock-talk]

Rebuilt the foundations for shutting the door today, added more speed to the door closure, and began introing shutting the door with me standing in different locations - this was tricky for him and needs more time

safe to say he's pretty excited about the whole process 😂

#keep moving him out of the carrier to reset the process #and ensure he's opting in #and actually comfortable with what happening #not just freezing/ stress #and he just bolts straight back like #HEY lady I want treats ASAP stop moving me out of here!!!!!! #newt #newt video #training #training video #carrier #carrier training

[lunarharp]

into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.

the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.

for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.

the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.

but they were never whole to begin with, were they?

qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.

olly says nothing.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new. #*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground* #someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything #maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory #and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey #and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all #and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them. #the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao #idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲 #i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore #so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol #and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to #and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them. #i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly #but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.