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hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis · 3 years

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Caught In Between 33. Debrief

Summary: Athena Dumont has finally found a place to call home after many years of foster homes and traveling. She had finally tamed her supernatural side and just wanted to live a normal teenage life. She quickly discovers that there is nothing normal about her hometown, Mystic Falls and gets sucked right back into the supernatural world.

Post Date: 02.09.21

Word count: 1.3k

Based off: 04x15 “Stand By Me”

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The next morning Caroline and I head back over to Elena’s to clean up the mess. As we were scrubbing the floors Elena and others walk-in.

“Hey, you’re home,” Caroline says as I continue scrubbing the floor.

“We were trying to clean the burn mark where Kol--” I start before we both notice Stefan carrying Jeremy’s body. “We couldn’t get the spot out,” I say quieter.

“Come on. Let’s get him upstairs,” Elena says. Caroline and I look at each other confused before we start to clean again, giving them their space.

“How long has she been like that?” Caroline asks Stefan as he makes his way into the kitchen.

“Ever since we found his body. She hasn’t said anything except that she’s waiting for him to wake up,” Stefan explains while helping.

“But he’s not going to wake up. She knows that right?” I state. Stefan puts his finger to his mouth and moves to the sink to turn the faucet on.

“Look. Deep down, I think she has to, but we’re talking about Elena here. She feels grief more powerfully than anyone else. I think her denial is the one thing protecting her from letting it all in,” Stefan explains.

“She can’t stay like that forever,” Caroline says.

“I know, but I don’t want to be the one to break her out of it, not until we know that bonnie is safe, not until we get Damon over here too, you know--,” Stefan trails off.

“Use the sire bond to convince her that everything is ok?” Caroline finishes for him.

“I’m not in denial,” Elena says and Stefan turns the water off. “I know that he was supernatural, but did you see? His tattoo is gone. The tattoo had the spell that opened Silas’ chamber. Maybe it being gone means that he fulfilled his supernatural destiny. Maybe he’s back to normal, it’s possible right?” Elena suggests.

“Elena--” I say.

“It’s possible, Athena. There’s a chance. It may be minuscule, but it’s hope, and I’m gonna hold on to that hope with everything that I’ve got because there’s no way-- there’s absolutely no way that my brother is dead. I’m not in denial,” Elena states before walking away.

I continue to finish cleaning while Stefan and Caroline step outside to make a plan. After a little while, I start to smell something. “What’s that smell?” I ask making my way to the porch.

“It’s his body. He’s starting to decompose,” Stefan says. “Tell your mom to get Dr. Fell over here,” Stefan says to Caroline.

Dr. Fell came over to inspect Jeremy’s body, but as she inspected it I heard a commotion from upstairs. Elena was freaking out over Dr. Fell saying that Jeremy was dead. I head outside since it was a family matter that I don’t think I should involve myself in. As I wait for Dr. Fell to finish, Caroline arrives at the house on the phone with Bonnie and Damon arriving shortly after.

“Thank god,” Caroline says.

“We were so worried,” I say as we take turns hugging Bonnie.

“I’m ok,” Bonnie says.

“Could you get Stefan out here?” Damon asks.

“They said that she knows what to do,” Caroline says.

“Caroline, I need to talk to my brother,” Damon demands.

“What’s wrong?” I ask. I head back inside with Caroline and Bonnie to talk about what happened. Me, Bonnie, Caroline, Elena and Matt all sit at the table.

“It’s called an expression triangle. I need to complete it for Silas,” Bonnie explains.

“What? Bonnie, you can’t kill 12 people,” Matt says.

“I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the only way to get enough power,” Bonnie says.

“To do what?” I ask.

“Once the veil is dropped, the other side doesn’t exist anymore. There’s nothing separating us. We’re all just one,” Bonnie explains.

“Bonnie, you are talking like a crazy person. You are not killing 12 people, and you sure as hell can’t invite every monster who has every died back in this world,” Caroline says.

“Caroline, I think she knows that,” Matt says.

“No. I can do it. I have the power. I can bring everyone back-- Jeremy, Alaric, Vicki,” Bonnie says.

“Bonnie, stop it you can’t just say these things,” Caroline says before a phone rings.

“I’ll get it,” Elena says.

“Hey, look. I’ll get it,” Matt offers.

“I said i’ll get it,” Elena says moving to the phone. As she answers the phone Damon and Stefan walk in. “Jeremy can’t come to the phone right now. He’s not...I’m sorry. He’s dead,” Elena says before hanging up. She then heads upstairs leaving us a bit clueless.

A few minutes later Elena comes back downstairs, “Where Bonnie?” She asks.

“We told Matt to take her home. We thought it’d be best,” Stefan says.

“Ok. Guess we’re gonna have to do this the old fashioned way,” Elena says.

“Do what?” I ask.

“Put his body on the couch,” Elena says.

“Elena? Elena, you need help finding something?” Caroline asks.

“Got it,” Elena says immediately dumping gas onto her kitchen countertop.

“What are you doing?” Stefan asks.

“We need a cover story right? You think I didn’t hear you guys talking earlier? Well, what are we gonna say--animal attack, tumble down thw stairs? No. We burn the house down with him inside of it,” Elena says dumping the gas all over her house.

“Elena, stop it,” Stefan says.

“Why, because you want me to not be in denial? You want me to face the truth? This is the truth, Stefan. I don’t want to live here anymore. I don;t want these sketches. I don’t want this x-box. Not gonna need this bourbon anymore. Alaric’s not here to drink it, i mean, unless you guys are willing to bring back every supernatural creature on the other side to get him back. Would you? I know you want your drinking buddy back. Would you, Damon? Because I wouldn’t. I don’t know. I mean, does that make me a bad person? I have no idea,” Elena rants while spreading alcohol around the room and on Jeremy. “He’s not gonna need that anymore,” She tosses Damon the Gilbert ring.

“Elena, stop it. You’re scaring me,” I say.

“What else are we supposed to do with the body, Athena? I mean there’s no room in the Gilbert family plot. Jenna and John took the last spots,” Elena says lighting a match.

“No,no. Elena stop,” Stefan says.

“There’s nothing here for me anymore, Stefan. Every inch of this house is filled with memories of the people that I love that have died--my mom, my dad, Jeremy, and Jenna, and Alaric, John, even John. I mean they’re all dead. Everyone is dead. So what and I supposed to--I mean how am I--I can’t even--There’s nothing left for me. Ahh!” Elena says and drops the match but Damon catches it before it hits the ground.

“Elena I need you to calm down,” Damon says.

“No, no, no. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I--. No It hurts. It hurts. Just make it stop. Please make it stop. It hurts,” Elena sobs.

“Damon...help her,” Stefan says. Damon quickly kneels next to her and embraces her.

“I can help you. I want you to let me help you. I can help you,” Damon says.

“How?” Elena asks.

“Turn it off,” Damon says.

“What? No, no,” Stefan says under his breath.

“Just turn it off, and everything will go away. That’s what you have to do. It’s what I want you to do. Just turn it off,” Damon says and just like that Elena was no longer sobbing.

After everything seemed to be sorted, even though none of us wanted Elena to turn her humanity off. I decided to head out. I went back to the Salvatores to grab my stuff before making my way to my own house.

A/N: I know the scene at the dining table is a bit awkward, there was three convos stitched together in the show….so i hope it makes sense. I may or may not skip the next few eps in case they don’t have much of an impact on Athena’s story. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed.

#the vampire diaries #the vampire diaries fanfiction #the vampire diaries imagine #the vampire diaries series #the originals #the originals fanfiction #The Originals Series #the originals rewrite #elena gilbert #caroline forbes #Stefan Salvatore #damon salvatore #bonnie bennett #matt donovan #TVDCIB

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howtowhumpyourhiccup · 4 years

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Whumptober Day 18: To Fix What Is Broken

Summary: Written for Whumptober Day 18, follow-up to Day 12. Set after Httyd 2, not canon-compliant with THW. Years after their mistake, the Gang may need to force Hiccup to break down the wall he's constructed since then. It may not end as terribly as it did last time.

Rating: Mature

Characters: Hiccup, Toothless, Astrid, Snotlout, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, Tuffnut

Pairing: None

Words: 5 187

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Prompt: "Panic Attack”

Whumpee: Hiccup

Author’s Notes: NOTE: The rape/non-con elements in this fic are purely implied and referenced. Nothing is explicitly shown.

Not sure how much I've succeeded at portraying a panic attack in this one. I’ve only done it once before and it’s in an unposted one-shot. So I have no idea how well I’ve written a panic attack.

Might also be too long. I tried to look at what needed cutting, but I had no idea what.

Also written as a follow-up to Whumptober Day 12, which I will be linking.

Constructive criticism is appreciated!

Enjoy!

Ao3 to Whumptober Day 12

Ao3 To Whumptober Day 18

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In the end, nothing got fixed. After his outburst in the Dragon Academy and doing "damage control" with his father, Hiccup somehow managed to convince him to let him go back to the Edge, and then it's like everything went back to normal.

Normal as in Hiccup pretending like nothing happened and continuing on as usual. Giving orders, prioritizing dragons and beating Dragon Hunters, sassing, the whole charade. He simply goes about his business, truly as if nothing happened that day, as if they hadn't hurt him and he hadn't hurt them.

A part of them is selfishly relieved and wants to go along with the pretend, but a slightly bigger part of them knows it isn't right, that Hiccup is simply ignoring the issue altogether in the hope that it will just go away.

So they've tried to bring it up with him. At dinner, during game night, during a patrol, any moment where he can sit down and have a talk. But he always shuts them down as soon as the subject is brought up, telling them not to make such a big deal out of something so stupid and small and to let it rest.

Sometimes they don't even get the chance to start talking before Hiccup would leave the room as soon as they sit down. There's just something about the way they sit down whenever they try to talk to him that tips him off to what they're planning on doing.

This whole thing has made him a hypocrite because he wouldn't just let this rest if the person suffering isn't him. Though to be fair, he would be a lot more sensitive about it than they have been.

The worst part is that their attempts at reaching him aren't only in vain, they make things worse between them and him, too. Though he and Toothless seem to be doing fine, the two of them go off together without the rest of the Dragon Riders a lot more than they used to even at the very beginning of the Dragon Academy.

Hiccup spends more time by himself, while game night often keeps going until the wee hours of the night, he only stays for an hour or two before retreating to his hut or forge to do whatever.

And then they get captured again. The Riders fight and fight to make their captivity end as soon as humanly possible, to save Hiccup from more hurt, but when they get home, Hiccup and Toothless disappeared for days.

So instead of suffering through this period of pain on the Edge, he was suffering through it somewhere else instead, with only Toothless there to see it.

It's so unhealthy. The way he avoids it altogether, pretends like nothing is wrong, like his head isn't full of what he's enduring. The way he runs from his second home, from his friends, to suffer completely on his own only to return and continue to act like nothing's happened and like he hasn't been gone.

So they let it rest, feeling like they have no other choice. After telling Stoick had been disastrous, after returning to the Edge, after attempt after attempt ends in failure, they decide to let it rest. Maybe them "letting it go" will, at the very least, urge Hiccup to stay home when he has these troubling episodes. That way, he's safe with them when he has them and not off to Odin knows where.

Unfortunately for Hiccup, life has a way of confronting someone with their traumas.

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Years pass.

Drago Bludvist happens, Hiccup finds out his dead mother isn't actually dead, Stoick is killed, Hiccup becomes Chief of the Hooligan tribe at the young age of 20, and Eret joins the Dragon Riders. Once again his life is turned upsidedown, but besides a few references here and there, Viggo's criminal acts are never talked about.

Despite this, the Riders know that the former Dragon Hunter Chief is far from forgotten, even while dead.

Because Berk is a very handsy place and Berk doesn't know about Hiccup's ever-growing aversion to touch. They act around him as they always have, Hooligan friendly, and his friends have seen his discomfort that everyone else is either blind to or attributes to his awkwardness.

On that front, Eret is very observant, keeping it at friendly shoulder pats.

But it isn't just the "no touching", the Riders can see Viggo's influence on other aspects of Hiccup's life.

They can see when he's having a particularly bad episode by the bags under his eyes from a lack of sleep, by the weight he loses when eating becomes a problem, or when he suddenly and inexplicably needs to leave a room and won't be back for hours.

They've never disturbed him before, but they know he's at the cove with Toothless when he does this. So at least they know he's safe.

But Hiccup's wardrobe isn't lost on them either. Going from a simple tunic and somewhat plain armor to layers upon layers with armor on top and belts in more places than they need to be, one dagger strapped to an arm, and his Inferno strapped to his thigh,... the Riders aren't idiots.

Berk may think it's his taste for the dramatic, but they know that he's making up for a concerning lack of a sense of security. Viggo's death hasn't made him feel any safer and Stoick's has made that even less so.

It's all leather, too, all except for his tunic.

It always takes him minutes just to reach his main tunic and knowing Hiccup that is bound to bite him in the ass someday.

And it did.

Having allies means coming to their aid in their time of need and that can sometimes result in one of the Dragon Riders getting hurt. This time, it so happened to be Hiccup.

Aiding the Berserkers when an enemy tribe thought to raid them, the Dragon Riders came to help and in the ensuing battle, Hiccup got knocked off Toothless.

It is easier to down a disabled dragon than a fully-abled one, even with a rider, but throughout the years, their grace in the sky hasn't just grown, but their chances of being downed have lessened.

Unfortunately for Hiccup and Toothless, that means crashing just hurts more. As a dragon, Toothless is sturdy and can therefore shake a crash or two off, but as a mere human, Hiccup cannot.

Unable to just walk it off, he was taken to the healer to be looked at and treated. He'd been unconscious the whole way there, a blessing because that meant he didn't need to feel them move him and cause him more pain in the process, a curse because that meant he woke up in a stranger's home.

"He won't let me treat him," The healer had to tell the Riders and Heather, the Berserker Chieftess. Despite her many attempts at soothing him and telling him that he needs to be examined, he still won't let her.

The Riders, standing outside of her shack, all look at each other, knowing why Hiccup is refusing treatment and too afraid to say.

Heather places a hand on Astrid's shoulder, sharing her troubled mood. She, too, knows of Hiccup's fear, having lived on the Edge for a time and experienced his episodes for herself.

"Maybe it'll help if his friends are there? A familiar face can do wonders." She suggests, while Eret steps forward.

"This is so strange. The Chief has his reckless moments, but refusing treatment just seems... not like him." He says and he's right. This is beyond being reckless, this is endangering his own life. And not just for some stunt, but for refusing treatment!

"We can go in and see what we can do, but you're going to have let Toothless in. Hiccup won't accept treatment without him in the room." Astrid tells the healer. It's not a plan that guarantees success, but it's better than forcing him to comply with something that triggers an old fear.

The healer sighs and nods. She's not particularly happy to have a Night Fury in her home and place of work, but she recognizes that she needs to allow it for her patient's sake.

Astrid turns to face Toothless, who was all but glued to the door of the shack, awaiting the moment he could join Hiccup's side again. Was because he's already entering after pawing the door open.

So she turns to Eret instead.

"Eret, I know you want to help, but I need to ask you to stay here." She tells him and Eret nods. It's not that she wants to exclude him, it's just that he probably doesn't know and Hiccup would probably like to keep it that way. Until he wants to talk about it himself, that is. They've learned their lesson about telling people something this personal, even if they think it's for his sake.

The rest of the Riders, they follow Toothless inside. What they find is Toothless and Hiccup having what can only be called a stand-off.

"Oh great, guys, can you tell Toothless to move? He's not letting me leave." Hiccup requests when he notices they aren't alone anymore, but quickly resumes his staring contest with the dragon, who is rumbling challengingly. In a "you just try to get past me" kind of way. His tail is swaying behind him.

"Leave? You need medical attention, you can't leave!" Astrid replies surprised.

"Which I can get plenty of back home. Berk isn't far by dragon." Hiccup passes Toothless and for all his bravado, he realizes that he can't actually stop him from leaving the healer's hut.

The Riders and Toothless watch him limp towards the door, holding his side. He still looks like just as much of a mess as when Eret brought him in, including the bloody pants that he has bandaged rather messily. As someone who knows at least a thing or two medically and knows of the importance of proper treatment, this only shows his urgency to get out of here.

Catching him trying to limp past them and out the door, Astrid comes to stand before him, effectively stopping him in his way. Blinking in surprise, Hiccup looks at her.

"Wow hey, you can't just leave. A few hours by dragon is still far when you have injured your ribs. Especially when you have healer and supplies right here." She tells him and Hiccup doesn't like what he's hearing. She's making sense to him as well, of course, but his high levels of discomfort are overruling his common sense.

"Astrid, I'm fine. I can breathe fine, albeit, with a little bit of pain, I can make the trip back to Berk."

"So you say and then, once we're over the ocean with no island for miles you discover that, oh no, you suddenly can't breathe out of one lung! You faint, you and Toothless crash, and you both drown." Astrid puts her foot down and crosses her arms, scolding him for his way of thinking. "A little bit of pain" does not equal "okay".

"But that's why I have you guys, to keep that from happening." He says.

"Oh yeah, because we can definitely fix a collapsed lung on the spot." Snotlout sides with Astrid and comes to stand next to her, obstructing Hiccup's way out further.

Hiccup sighs and a look of pain passes on his face, the too deep release of air hurting his side.

"Hiccup, why don't you want to be treated?" Astrid asks, having some idea, but not wanting to jump to conclusions.

"It's just... It doesn't feel good to have a stranger..." Touch me, he wants to say, but having put up a wall between the Riders and his "issues", he refuses to say it.

"To have a stranger what?" Astrid asks, suspicious of what he actually wants to say.

"I just trust Gothi's expertise more." A rude thing to say, especially for him. They're lucky the healer isn't here to hear him.

The Riders glare at him and Hiccup looks away, uncomfortable with how rude he's just been to a woman who simply wants to help him. The words had left him before he could stop them and he regrets them already.

"Okay, we'll stay." He finally decides, but keeps standing by the door because he doesn't actually feel like moving, more so because of how much it hurts to use his injured leg.

He doesn't know what he cut his thigh on, just that it bleeds enough to require stitches and be at risk for infection. Which makes his decision to leave seem even more foolish and unlike him.

But the Riders don't blame him because they know exactly what causes this out of character behavior.

Offering her hands, Hiccup lets her help him sit down on the bed behind him. He'd been lying on it before, when he woke up and the healer tried to examine him and he was being too difficult of a patient.

Hiccup wipes his sweaty palms on his pants, he's anxious and his friends notice. Astrid crouches down in front of him.

"We can stay if you want us to. Fishlegs knows how to heal, he can even do it while the healer watches and helps where needed. We already convinced her to let Toothless stay. If having a familiar face helps you get through this, we're here for you." She talks vaguely about him not needing to be touched by a stranger or being left alone with a stranger on an island full of strangers.

Hiccup mulls it over, thinking about her offer, but then shakes his head lightly.

"This is stupid, she's not even..." A man, like he was. But he doesn't say it, whispering more to himself than he is talking to Astrid. They don't need to know. As if they don't know already.

"You're really anxious, it's not stupid." It's Snotlout who says this as he's surprisingly sensitive about this forbidden topic.

Hiccup looks up at his friends, Toothless purring as he invites himself in their space and nudges his human's uninjured leg in support.

He's not ready for this. He can feel himself sweating, his heart is pounding so much in dread that it aches, his anxiety is already through the roof.

He doesn't want to do this, but Astrid is right, this could potentially be needlessly life-threatening and he would be dragging Toothless down with him.

He just has to stop being so stupid and let the woman do her job.

"Okay, call her back in." Hiccup requests and lies back down with some difficulty while Fishlegs leaves to get her.

It'll be fine, it'll be fine, it'll be fine. It doesn't matter how many times he'll be repeating that in his mind, he'll have to do it as many times as it takes.

The old healer enters her hut again and she wants to get to work.

Hiccup watches her move around, his eyes following her as he attempts to control his breathing, as hard as it is with his ribs aching. Every breath in and out hurts him and that some part of him wants to draw shorter and shallower breaths with his rising nerves doesn't help.

She takes everything she may need. Cloth, bandages, water, herbs, anything to treat his injuries with.

It'll be fine, it'll be fine.

Everything in hand, Fishlegs helping her carry her stuff, she approaches and sets it all down.

"It'll be fine." Astrid looks at him when she hears him mutter.

But the second he feels hands trying to undo his belts, he panics. He takes her hands and pulls them away from him before rushing to sit up and hurting himself in the process. A cry of pain leaves him, everyone jumps to attention.

"Hiccup, wait, it's okay." Astrid tries to tell him, grabbing a shoulder.

"No! Nope! None of this is okay! I'm not okay!" He tells her before he winces and has no choice but to fall back down, holding his side and jostling his leg, which has bled through the bandages by now.

The Riders and Toothless gaze at him, the healer keeping her distance as she can tell this is a rather personal matter and so doesn't involve herself.

They listen to him groaning in pain, see the expression of agony as well as the sweat already glistening on his skin in the candlelight. His air intake is ragged. It is shallow and too fast, which only hurts him more.

"Hiccup," Astrid speaks his name, he shivers beneath her hand.

"No, I can't I... I just can't. I can't let this happen." This is wrong. This feels so wrong to him. The hands of someone that he doesn't know on his body where they don't belong.

In the past few years, the only ones who have been able to infiltrate his personal space in such a close manner have been his father and Toothless, maybe occasionally the Dragon Riders. Though, the Dragons more than the Riders.

And Berk, of course, but that was beyond his control. He doesn't like any of it and that is already hard to suffer through. Doing this is more than he can bear. He wants out.

He can already feel it creeping onto him. The hands.

"Hiccup, you need a healer." Astrid gently reminds him.

"I can put you under a sedative if that makes this procedure easier on you." The healer offers Berk's Chief some peace, at least for the next few hours.

"What? No! No sedatives!"

"Not even painkillers? It might help." Ruffnut suggests.

"No, no painkillers either. I want nothing." He's breathing so fast, he's becoming lightheaded. Meanwhile, his ribs burn.

"Then what do you want us to do?" Astrid asks, hoping Hiccup can tell them what he thinks will help him get through this most.

They've already gone behind his back once and it had made everything worse for him, had made things terrible between them.

But Hiccup shakes his head, not even knowing the answer to that question himself.

Gods, he can feel them. Disembodied hands where they don't belong, touching him where they were never meant to touch.

He wants to cry.

Astrid offers him her hand and he takes it too quickly and squeezes too hard. He's dying for comfort.

But he knows he needs to go through with it.

"Just go ahead with it. Just do it." He tells them uncertainly and the healer steps forward again, hands moving to his belts to undo them.

This time he lets her, but his hyperventilation worsens and so does his trembling. His eyes close as if it'll help if he can't see her hands on him. Feeling them on him is already bad enough.

He can feel other hands creeping upon him. They're bigger with more callouses and they aren't actually there, which is why they creep.

They belong to a man that isn't even alive anymore and yet, with every unwanted touch forced upon him, he can feel him again.

"Shhh, it's okay. You'll get through this. Just breathe, Hiccup, breathe." Astrid tells him and he tries to keep a hold of himself to the best of his ability.

His vest is splayed upon and more wounds are made bare. Besides the aching of his ribs, there's a splotch of blood on the right side of his lower abdomen, close to the hem of his trousers.

"He's bleeding through his tunic." Snotlout mutters, bringing attention to it. The healer takes the hem of his tunic in order to take a look.

Hiccup can feel it, is too aware of her every move. Still squeezing Astrid's hand, he squeezes even tighter and she lets him. Tears wet his eyes and when she cautiously pulls it up, they slip free and he seizes her hands again, unable to bear any more of this.

"Hey, shhh, it's okay." Astrid holds all of their hands as she hushes him.

Toothless intervenes and headbutts his human's face, a gesture of affection that Hiccup returns.

"Yeah, it's okay, we're all here with you." Snotlout tells him, stepping forward, but not daring to go as far as Astrid is going. One of them is probably enough.

"Breathe, Hiccup. Breathe."

"I can't. I-I can't."

Fishlegs comes closer.

"Then maybe I can help! Try to follow along with me, okay?" Hiccup leaves Toothless to face him, who exaggerates his breathing in a slow and timely manner so he can keep up.

It's hard, but Hiccup tries his best to follow along until his breathing comes to a more natural pace and his lightheadedness doesn't turn to darkness.

Astrid manages to make Hiccup let go of the healer and hold onto her instead.

They don't like any of this, the panic attack, the sweat sticking his clothing to his skin, or the tears now sliding down his face. His lip is trembling, his everything is trembling.

This is what he hid from them after their damning talk with Stoick for so long, this is what Viggo has done to him. Their fearless leader rendered to this. The fact that they still don't know the details haunts them to this day.

He can still face any enemy, can stare down death itself if he has to, but he can't stand being touched, not even if it's for his own well-being.

"This is so stupid." They hear him mutter, something they've heard him repeat over and over again with whatever involves his issues. They don't know what he thinks is so stupid, but they've heard him say this so many times by now.

Astrid dares to take a seat on the bed next to him and lets go of his hand to cup his cheeks. He stares up at her with a wild look of panic. If he wants her to let go, she trusts that he'll let her know.

"Hiccup, please listen," She starts and hopes that's what he'll do.

"We're all here to protect you. I know we've failed you before, but no more. You're safe with us. Tonight, tomorrow, every day for the rest of your life, you're safe." She tells him and his hands take hers, but he doesn't pull them away. Her touch is light, so it wouldn't be hard to remove them, he wants them there.

"We love you. Please let us protect you." She requests with genuine emotion.

He nods.

"Okay," He says quietly, barely above a whisper as most of his voice is stuck in his throat. It's a miracle he even got that much out.

Toothless rumbles encouragingly and invites himself partially into the bed, pretty much wrapping his forelegs around his Rider, but staying mindful of his injuries.

Hiccup lets go of Astrid's hands, gaining some control over himself.

Snotlout, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut take them, watching for any reaction that might tell them this is the wrong move to make. So far, there isn't any.

This might be it, the opening they've been waiting for. For years Hiccup has been completely closed off on this topic, he's locked his fears up tight and thrown away the key. But now, perhaps the door stands open on a creak and they're allowed a peek inside with a promise for more.

Whether this is what it is or not doesn't matter at the moment. What does matter, is helping him through tonight.

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"Hey, how're you feeling?" Back on Berk, Astrid asks Hiccup this question as they enter his home a few days later.

Looking up from his blueprints, he watches them enter with a tired smile.

He's sitting on a chair, wearing a comfortable tunic to spare his bruised ribs the weight that comes with many layers. The stitched gash on his lower abdomen benefits from this, too. He doesn't like it, but Toothless is with him always and so is Sharpshot, who lies curled up on the table. His injured leg rests on another chair, the wound having been stitched closed and showing no signs of infection so far.

"Eh, tired. Maybe in need of some more painkillers. It's been a few hours and my everything hurts again." He answers as they walk further into the home, greeted by Toothless who croons their way happily. He's lying curled up around Hiccup's spot, helping him feel secure as he can't wear his "shield".

Ever since that night, something has changed in their group again. Talking with him, being around him, it's easier. It's as if there's been this tension for so long that nobody even noticed after a time, and now that it's finally gone and they can all feel that lack of weight.

"I'll go make some!" Fishlegs offers himself up and disappears into the kitchen.

"How is everything with the village outside?" Hiccup asks, hoping that his work isn't stacking up as he spends his time inside recovering. He is weirdly okay with staying indoors. So far, at least.

"We're managing things, the twins are actually fixing stuff more than they break it," Astrid informs him.

"Hey, we can be very good repair people." Ruffnut protests.

"Besides, just means there's more for us to break later," Tuffnut mutters to her, and the two snicker. Astrid and Snotlout both roll their eyes.

"We'll make sure they don't break stuff later." The latter promises with a deadpan. Hiccup smiles at him gratefully.

"Here it is!" Fishlegs returns with a painkilling, and possibly sleep-inducing, broth and hands it to Hiccup.

"Thanks," He says, taking it and then staring at it as he holds it in his hands. He's not exactly looking forward to it, these broths never taste that pleasant. This one doesn't even smell good.

He should take it, get rid of the pain, and maybe get some shut-eye. These blueprints can wait.

But first, there's been something that he's been contemplating as he waited for his friends' inevitable visit for the day. They always come by.

"Hey, um..." He starts, gaze still on the cup with the broth.

The Riders look at him, wait for him to talk, and say what's on his mind as there is clearly something.

They aren't quite prepared for the topic he's about to bring up, but the day they've been waiting for has finally arrived.

After some hesitation, Hiccup forces himself to say it.

"He never went all the way."

Surprised to hear him talk about it, the Gang listens.

"Vi-Viggo, he... He never..." Hiccup stops talking then and they don't interrupt or try to finish his sentence for him. They can tell it's taking him everything just to talk now, he's not even looking at them, hand coming up to hide most of his face from view.

Toothless purrs, sitting up to meet Hiccup at eye-level, but he's not looking at him either.

"It really did just stay with words and... and touches... Every time I got captured and taken to him, but... That's it, nothing else." It's not like they don't know that something's been done to him, but to actually hear him say it, to hear their suspicions be confirmed is something else entirely.

The twins share a saddened look, Fishlegs looks down at his hands, and Astrid and Snotlout both feel themselves tense up. It's been a good few years and still, it makes them so angry that any of it happened.

Back to the conversation, Snotlout wanted to remind him that that wasn't nothing, but Astrid stops him. Hiccup is finally talking, they should let him have his say before they comment.

Still unable to bear to look at his friends, Hiccup wipes his sweaty palms on his trousers.

"It-it-it... "It" never actually happened so-so it-so it just seemed so stupid to feel the way I did. The-the way I do. Like-like I was hurt when I wasn't." That was part of the problem, it wasn't as bad as it could've been and that made worrying about it seem so dumb to him.

He's lucky. That's what he's been telling himself. He's lucky.

"So stupid," He repeats, feeling like an attention seeker for something that was "not as bad as it could've been". So many people have suffered worse than him, he shouldn't complain.

He rocks nervously, trying to cope with the influx of memories that have festered over the years, with the shame welling up. Thus far they've only been dealt with by cramming them into the darkest corners of his mind, a fruitless effort that usually ends in frustration and anger. There they have continued to rot and chipped away at him piece by piece like an untreated infection.

Bringing it up now still hurts just as much as it would've hurt to bring up back then.

As a brief silence sets in, Astrid dares to take a step and sits down at the table on a seat next to him.

"I think you and I both know that he doesn't need to go "all the way" for this to hurt, Hiccup. What happened was so, so traumatizing, doesn't matter how far he did or didn't go. And it happened... It happened multiple times." Astrid has to swallow, feeling like she might throw up if she doesn't.

"If we were in each other's shoes, you would be telling me the exact same thing." She tells him and Hiccup finds that she has a point.

If this had happened to Astrid, to any of his friends, he wouldn't stand for them to call their reaction to being... to being... He wouldn't call them stupid, he wouldn't call them calls for attention.

"He hurt you and you have every right to be angry, even now." She continues.

"We all hurt you." Snotlout admits, coming to sit at the table as well. The others, they swiftly follow their example.

To hear them tell him that he has every right to be angry, to be hurt, is more relieving than he can ever express.

But there's a question Snotlout has been wondering about this whole time and he wonders if Hiccup will answer.

"How... I understand if you don't want to answer, but how far did he get?" If he's not ready to tell them yet, if he'll never be ready, then he'll understand.

Hiccup doesn't answer and while he's told them he never went "all the way", "not all the way" still seems to be pretty far.

He wants to cry again. The memories running rampant inside his mind, the non-existing hands that refuse to leave him, they make tears gather in his eyes.

He's in pain and has been for much too long. He feels like he's been on fire this entire time and that someone is finally putting out the fire.

It's with a mere cup, but it's a start.

Managing to look at his friends, Hiccup cautiously gazes at them all, fearing judgment as he finally bares it all.

Astrid reaches and takes his hand, squeezing it lightly. Perhaps, it's time to talk and let his family in.

19 notes · View notes

lover-of-sans · 4 years

Note

Okokok hi! Was wondering if you could do Sans, Papyrus and Grillby headcanons for them getting a crush on someone? (Non specific someone) and maybe include how they realize theyre crushing and what they think about thw whole situation as well as maybe how they confess? Im a sucker for crush hcs so i just had to ask, have a beautiful day!! -tomo

Oooh I am indeed a sucker for crushing HC too, this is my first attempt at writing for Grillby so please forgive me if I goof.

Oh man I may have gone overboard with this, I wrote way more than originally intended...Oops

Sans:

Others would often tease the two of you about being a cute couple, because let’s be completely honest, it's always other people that see it first.

You both would brush it off not thinking too much into it. That is... until one day when you were having some lunch at Grillby’s.

Nothing in particular it going on just some usual chit-chat and some silly puns from him and then it happens.

You tell him one of the punniest jokes he’s ever heard.

He’s doubled over laughing as he holds his stomach, you’re laughing along with him.

He looks up at you at just the right moment where you look your cutest as you’re laughing and it was like someone just slapped him across the face.

He just stops laughing and stares at you watching you laugh as he starts to blush a deep blue.

After a few moments of noticing that he wasn’t laughing you stopped and looked at him to see if he was okay.

“Sans? You good?” You looked at him a little worried.

He snapped from his thoughts “Uhh....y-yeah just peachy”

“Are you sure? Your face looks a bit flushed, are you coming down with something?” You reach to touch his forehead to feel for fever.

He would jerk back from your touch “YEAH! I’M ALL GOOD!”

He would try so hard to hide how he feels about you. He would try with every fiber of his being to not show the effect you had on him.

But....

Suddenly everyday activities with you had an entire new feeling for him.

Every smile you would send his way, or the way you would laugh at his puns no matter how corny they were, or how sparkly your eyes where the first time he took you to the star cave and how much he wanted to kiss you and-

Oh he could think of you for hours with the dumbest look on his face, you had such a strong effect on him.

He couldn’t take this anymore this fluttery feeling in his chest whenever you were around was driving him crazy.

The next time you came to hang out he summoned all his courage.

“Y/N, we’ve known each other for awhile now and even though we are such great friends I don’t know if that’s what I want with us anymore” he looked over at you and saw the sad look on your face “I-I’m not saying I don’t want to be friends anymore! N-nothing like that, I want the opposite if I’m being honest.”

He could feel his face heating up again “I think I’ve fallen hard for you everything you do makes me-... I can’t even put into words”

He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly as he looked anywhere but you as he waited for your response hoping for the best.

The silence is killing him until he feels you hug him and admit how you feel the same.

He is beyond happy, hugging you back. “So does that mean that we are... dating now?”

You nod

He laughs hugging you closer.

Papyrus:

You were his favorite human, it was no secret, everyone knew you were.

He loved spending time with you, making puzzles, cooking spaghetti, watching television.

Anything to be with you, you just made him so happy.

He might even say that he loved you...platonically, of course.

One day you both were in the kitchen cooking some more spaghetti, you were standing next to him working on the sauce.

You seemed to be extra excited about this batch, you had found some new spices that you wanted to try.

You both sat down to eat and tried what turned out to be pretty good spaghetti

You looked over at him with a big smile “This is really tasty, isn't it?”

“Yes, human it is quite-...” he looked down at you smiling so brightly at him and you unknowingly had a bit of sauce on your cheek.

“Hold still human” he picked up a napkin and wiped the sauce away, your cheeks turned a faint shade of pink and you looked away slightly embarrassed.

“Thanks” you giggled

Suddenly he felt something, it was like a swirling in his chest.

When you both finished eating and said your goodbyes after making plans for the next day he ran up the stairs to talk to Sans, maybe he would know why his chest felt so funny.

He explained the situation to Sans.

“So” Sans started “would you say that what they did, was it cute to you?”

“Well of course I think they are cute Sans they are my best friend”

Sans chuckled “No, no Pap I got a feeling that you love them”

“Sans I just said they are my best friend obviously I love them.”

Sans laughs a little harder “I meant in the non-platonic way”

Papyrus was quite as he mulled over everything that had been said and he could feel his cheekbones slowly get hot.

Sans chuckled again “Oh my god, Pap, you’re blushing, you got a huge crush on them don’t you?”

Papyrus shot up from his seat suddenly feeling embarrassed and went to his room.

He flopped down on his bed, all of this new information buzzing in his head.

He stared up at the ceiling, his mind slowly drifting to you.

As he thinks about you he realized all of the things that he found so interesting are all the reasons why he has a crush on you.

He hates laying here and thinking about these feelings.

He gets up and makes his way you your house to talk to you.

It’s a short walk to your house and quickly finds himself on your doorstep and knocking on the door.

A moment later you appear smiling got at him with a confused look.

“Papyrus? I thought our plans were for tomorrow did I misunderstand?”

“They were human but there was something I needed to talk to you about”

“Oh, alright, come on in” you stepped aside to let him in and shut the door behind him.

You walked over to the couch and sat down he sat next to you

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

Suddenly his mind went blank, he never actually came up with a plan on what he was going to do or say.

Without thinking he just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“Sans says I have a crush on you!” he smacked his hand over his mouth and his cheeks burned a bright orange.

You looked at him wide eyed “Do you?”

He was silent for a moment “....I think I do...”

“I think I do too” you began to blush.

Wowie they looked cute like that...

You craned your neck to reach him and kissed his cheek.

That swirling feeling came back

“Does this mean that we love each other non-platonically?”

You blushed harder and giggled at him.

“I guess we do”

He nuzzled your cheek

“Good!”

Grillby:

You came in a lot sometimes to eat sometimes just to talk, sometimes with your friends and sometimes you would come alone, he preferred when you came alone.

You always had interesting things to talk about.

Now that he thought about it he really couldn’t remember most of the things you talked to him about, maybe he just liked hearing your voice.

He glanced over at the clock, it’s almost time for you to come in.

He noticed a while ago that you started coming in around the same times each day and be found himself looking forward to those times.

Some monsters who frequent Grillby’s began to notice how he would burn a bit brighter when you would come in.

Grillby had his back to the door when you came in and didn’t know it was you.

Sans was sitting in his usual spot at the bar so you sat down next to him.

“Hey human”

“Hi Sans”

Grillby heard your voice and-

FWOOSH!

He was burning brighter again.

Some of the other patrons snickered at him.

“Hi Grillby!” You greeted him with your usual cheery manner

“Hello, y/n can I get you anything?”

“No thank you just here for your company right now”

He chuckled nervously and the flames on his head crackled

Your phone began to ring “Oops please excuse me” you got up and walked outside to take the call.

Sans looked over at Grillby as his flames went back to normal.

“Man, Grillby you got it bad for em’ don’t you”

“What, Sans you’re crazy”

“No I think I’m right, some might say that you got the HOTS for them.”

He glared at Sans for the pun and for implying something that wasn’t true.

Sans laughed then shrugged

“Hey you never know they may think you’re a real HOTTY too”

He was about to respond when you came back in looking a bit distressed.

“Hey guys sorry but I gotta go, Undyne needs my help, I’ll see ya later”

And like that you were gone again.

Grillby subconsciously sighed and went back to work.

It was almost closing time and Grillby was disappointed that he hadn't seen nor heard from you the entire day and it brought down his mood quite a bit.

The place was empty and quiet, he started to think about what Sans said, it started to bug him.

Sure he was always happy to see you, and you always put him in a good mood, and he always felt better after talking to you, but that didn’t mean he had a thing for you...did it?

He must have been deep in thought because he didn’t hear the door open nor did he hear a sweet cheerful voice that greeted him.

You wave your hand in front of Grillby’s face

“Hey, earth to Grillby”

He snapped back to reality suddenly seeing you in front of him-

FWOOSH!

His flames where even brighter than when he usually was around you.

You thought you scared him.

“Whoa, Grillby, relax it’s just me, sorry I didn’t mean to spook ya that hard”

“Oh no, I’m alright don’t worry about it”

He rubbed the back of his neck

“I guess I was lost in my own head there for a bit”

You laugh a bit

“Sorry I was gone all day, I missed hanging out with you.”

His chest got tight, he tried to distract himself by cleaning up the bar.

“It wasn’t the same without you here, I guess I missed you too”

“Aww you really missed me?” You teased

He now realized that he said that out loud instead of in his head but there was no going back now.

“Heh... yeah, it was too quiet”

You stared at him as he worked, the longer you looked the more uncomfortable he became.

“Something on your mind,y/n?”

It was your turn to be snapped back, you blushed for getting caught staring

“Oh! Uh...w-well I was just wondering about you, ya know being made of fire thing and I can’t figure out how you don’t burn the things you touch”

He chuckled at your cuteness, it was a fair question for a human that was still getting used to monsters and magic.

“I can control it really well”

“Oh...would it be weird if I asked to touch you?”

You were clearly getting more embarrassed by how red your face had become he found it really adorable actually, maybe Sans was right, maybe he did have a crush on you.

“That would be fine”

He came out from behind the bar and sat on the barstool next to you.

Both of you turning your seats to face each other.

He figured you would touch his arm or something but suddenly he felt a gentle touch on his cheek, he looked up to see your fascinated face looking at him

“This is so strange, my brain is telling me no don’t touch fire but it doesn’t hurt”

You laughed a bit.

This was starting to mess with him

“You’re really warm to the touch, and... I can’t even form words to how fascinating this is”

You brought your other hand up to rest on his other cheek.

Neither one spoke but both slowly leaned into the other until they met each other in the middle with a nervous kiss

Nerves melted away quickly as both got into it

Grillby broke the kiss looking at you wide eyed, did that really just happened?

Oh man he really does have a thing for you

Both were at a loss for words but he broke the silence after a few moments

“I think I’ve wanted to do that for a really long time now”

You tilted your head to the side a tiny bit confused

“You think?”

“Heh, yeah think, because I just realized I had a seriously big crush on you for a long time”

You giggle

“Well that would explain why you would flair up so much when I would come to visit”

“I did what?!”

#undertale #sans #sans the skeleton #undertale sans #papyrus #undertale papyrus #papyrus the skeleton #grillby #undertale x reader #undertale grillby #grillby x reader #undertale grillby x reader #fluff #undertale fluff

191 notes · View notes

thefinalkey16 · 4 years

Text

KH3 Re:Mind spoilers/Reactions

So Xemnas gave the order?? To find the box?? But why??

So did Xigbar actually lose the box? YOU HAD ONE JOB

Oh we’re starting HERE HUH

I forgot how pretty the graphics are

Why is Riku so pretty???

Nomura really went “this DLC is about SOKAI and I’m gonna make sure you KNOW IT.”

Nomura really cares about his ship and I appreciate it so much

LETS GO SAVE OUR GIRL!

Heck yeah REMIND TIME

I love the music in this game so much

YES WE GET MORE MOM

Why does MOM adopt smol children lol

It bothers me that MOM has no actual face behind the hood. It’s like Ansem’s original form

So Xehanort is where Xemnas’s confusion of the heart comes from lol

OH THIS IS PREMASTER XEHANORT

I’m sorry, Xehanort is more powerful than darkness?

I’m sorry MOM is too scared to take off the coat???

MOM is a psychology teacher who gets exasperated by his dumb students

OH THATS JUST RUDE NOMURA

LEMME KNOW HIS NAME

A lost..Master?

Well we know where Xehanort got the hands behind the back walk from

OOO A NEW THEME

OH I LOVE IT

I’m 100% sure that MOM told him his name was “Noneya,” and it took a few decades before he realized what he actually said

DID THEY TELEPORT TO LOOK COOL ON THE ROCKS

I’m sorry they have holograms??

Did they actually call him Riku Replica lol

Wait they were actually nobodies

XEMNAS AND XEHANORT WERE REPLICAS?

“Why we have assembled here,” because Xemnas and Sora destroyed your sick castle

Poor Terra got possessed TWICE?

Demyx! You get Demyx!

I’m sorry 20??

No. I

Oh so they don’t actually remember Xion

Does.. does Xigbar remember Xion?

Wow they got Vexen just to get his daughter in their gang. How rude

Xehanort fell asleep while they chatted I’m cackling

Crazy old man

Now when do I get to save Kairi? :3c

YAY ITS TIME

YAY ITS CHIRITHY TIME

ITS MY SMOL KITTY

“Back so soon?”=you died again?? You’re lame

Chirithy is a mood

Sora you watched your GF get shattered

Oh so that’s why Sora dies

IS SORA SAILOR PLUTO

Oh my god he’s Sailor Pluto

Lose powers? He’s done that so many times 😂

Getting banned from one world? He had a phone and friends with gummi ships lol

ARE WE GONNA SEE EVERONES HEART STATION??

NOOO VEN That still hurts to watch

AWW SORA TRIED TO CATCH HIM

Wow he’s a ghosty ghost

Oh I love Ven’s heart station so much

Wow Vanitas really said that Ven is Baby

YAS GIMME VANITAS

Also wow Vanitas is protecting Ven’s heart and I love that

OH NO NOT THIS GUY

I beat him by using Meow Wow. meow wow is best boy

Oh no oh no it’s this pet

Gotta love Big Bro Lea

I forgot they call him Axel

ITS THE HUG

It’s Donald’s Safrifice ;-;

Donald Really channeled his inner Molly Weasley and said “Not my son you WITCH.”

WASTED

Also aw Sora got to see what Donald did for the first time

AQUA’S STATION IS SO PRETTY

Poor Aqua ;-; this is the moment where everyone hates her for

Also aww she trusts Kairi to protect them

We love Big Sis Aqua

YES WE GET ANTI AQUA FIGHT AGAIN

NAMINEEEEE

I’m literally screaming and I scared my grandma

Oh my god She lost Kairi and she immediately went to Sora cause she knew she’d be safe there ;-;

Namine’s Really here bringing everyone together

Agsisgsjdg I forgot Terra can do the keyblade whip thing lol

AND the cannon

Wow they’re really fighting in the sky

Anyone else getting Star Wars vibes

AWW HE JUST WANTS TO PROTECT HIS FAMILY

I still hate Terra’s pants

Imagine your heart crushing your body. Like really

NO LINGERING WILL

HECK YEAH SORA YOU KICK THEIR BUTT

Wow Sora you’re so cocky

LINGERING WILL NO

OH MY GOD

I forgot that Marluxia is an Ouran Host Club character

Wait, that Mickey finisher was new, wasn’t it?

Okay but I still have no idea what Xemnas did to Luxord

Cards: *Appear*

Sora: PTSD from watching his friends get destroyed from the cards in the manga

Mickey: *is captured*

Sora: PTSD intensifies

I’m really happy that we get to replay all of the Organization battles, they’re so much fun!

I’m so soft for Replinami ;-;

He loves her so much, and all he wants is for her to be safe and happy ;-;

Ven: we aren’t the same. You’re Edgy. I’m Baby

Aqua when Sora appears: TWO Baby’s :0

“If I’m a traitor, then Kairi’s the trump card.” LEA DRINKS RESPECT KAIRI JUICE

Aww Kairi’s so confused. She doesn’t see how she could be a trump card ;-;

HE STRAIGHT UP FLEXED

AWW XION REMEMBERS

Ohhh Isa’s jealous.

YES THW CHAKRAMS

LETS GO

Jealousy mode has been activated in Isa

WHAT WAS THAT RUN

OH MY GOD THAT SCREAM

YES KAIRI GO

PROTEXT YOUR BRO

“Yup” Kairi really just wants this over with so she can go home 😂

The way Kairi’s face lights up at seeing Sora gives me life.

Wow Xemnas was really hurt by Axel’s betrayal. Frankly? I’m shocked.

XION’S HAND IS SMOKING

HER HAND IS BURNING BECAUSE SHES GRABBING THE BLADE

Xemnas does NOT drink Respect Xion juice

ROXAS KEPT XION’S MEMORIES SAFE INSIDE HIM

AND SHE HAS HER FACE BECAUSE HE GAVE THEM BACK TO HER

Lea cares about the small girls he adopted as his little sisters

AWW THE THREE OF THEIR HEARTS ARE CONNECTED

NO XION ISNT ON HIS HEART ANYMORE

YES KAIRI’S HERE TO KICK BUTT

Wow Nomura really got tired of people dissing Kairi so he amped her up with cool stuff

“Oh? Tired of Kairi not doing anything?” Heres her literally overpowering Xemnas and him having to restrain her with a stop spell and magic to stop her

KAIRI IS THE SCARLET WITCH AND XEMNAS IS THANOS

Oh and in case you think she’s weak? Here’s the same thing for Sora too.

God I love Nomura

Oh my god she’s in so much pain because of the darkness

OH MY GOD SHES IN SO MUCH PAIN BECAUSE OF THE DARKENSS

SORA LITERALLY FAINTED AFTER 2 SECONDS BUT KAIRI’S HOLDING ON OH MY GOD THE STRENGTH

OOOOOOOO ROXAS TIME

The MUSIC

THEIR ATTACK IS CALLED “THINKING OF YOU” BECAUSE THEY REMEMBERED XION I CANT

I can not believe i was forced to relive watching Kairi die

SHE WAS CRYSTALLIZED?? SHES NOT DEAD??

I love Donald and Goofy so much ;-;

They aren’t gonna leave their son alone

Also wow Xehanort was just staring there forever

I FORGOT WE GET TO EXPLORE SCALA :D

KAIRI?!?!

Getting KH1 vibes with this

“The heartless that is radiating light” how is that possible??

Okay but this is such a good parallel to the first game, with him saving Kairi ;-;

Except for the fact that HEARTLESS SORA DIDNT GET BEAT UP

Okay so her heart is a thassala shell. Will we have to collect the pieces to make her wayfinder?

Oh my god I see the thing at the top of the screen. We totally are making her wayfinder ;-;

THAT MEANS SHE LITERALLY GAVE HIM HER HEART SO HE COULS RETURN IT TO HER OH MY GOOOOD

Okay so I love the puzzles they have here

XEHANORT?!

I’m sorry you hid her heart? What are you, five?

What do you MEAN almost out of time?!

OH NO KINGDOM HEARTS

Oh no not these guys again

So many keyholes

IM SORRY IS THIS WIZARD OF OZ

Oh my god Lea is so overwhelmed lol

SGAKSSGE ROXAS CAUGHT XION

Okay so for the team ups, I love how all of them were mix and matched from the trio’s

I loved Terra and Riku, the Master and apprentice

I loved Ven, Roxas, and I can’t remember who else was in it. “Thanks Roxas.” “Youre welcome. You’re not too bad yourself.” THAT WAS ADORABLE

Xion, Aqua and Mickey being mages and protecting everyone

Aqua and Lea, him trying to talk and Aqua telling him to shut up and focus

MICKEY’S STRUGGLE TO SAVE HIS FRIENDS BROKE MY HEART

We now present: Kingdom Hearts 3: connect he dots

Connect. Connect the dots. Get it?

KAIRI’S HEART MADE A FLOWER

THE KH2 THING

“SORA :D”

THEIR HUG

HE JUST HOLDS HER CLOSE

TIME FOR PLAYABLE KAIRI BABBYYYYYYY

“I can do this.” YES YOU CAN

I’m sorry you think I want to play as Sora? After waiting my whole life to play Kairi? HA

KAIRI IS THE MOST POWERFUL

Seven wishes saved me in that fight

ONE HEART

THEY HAVE ANGEL WINGS

OKAY YALL HAD YOUR SORIKU ATTACK NOW WE GOT SOKAI :D

Now we just need Rikai and Sorikai and it’ll be complete ^^

AGSKSGSKDGSJS CHIRITHY

“I was trying to give you some privacy” awwww

CHIRITHY IS CRYING

THEYRE GOING ON DATES

Chirithy has my soul and I love it

Every scene with Chirithy adds 7 years to my life

Afsjsgsajg Sora DONT PUSH THE CAT

NAMINE

THEY WERE THERE TO FREE HER HEART

Aaand he’s gone and I’m crying again

LIMITCUT EPISODE TIME BABBYYYY

GAJSGSJDG RIKU AND TERRA ARE TOGETHER

Oh my god Riku and Terra being bro’s are my favorite thing

Wait what are they gonna do

ARE THEY SEALING THE WORLD

OH MY GOD THE ARMOR

HOW DARE THEY NOT SHOW US THE FRONT PARTS

OH they’re going to search for Sora!

IS RIKU IN CHARGE OF THE LAND OF DEPARTURE

ONE YEAR???

Agajsgsjdg MERLINS HOUSE

CLOUD

PRETTY BOY

YUFFFIIEEE

AERIITH

CID

OH MY GOD THE GANGS ALL TOGETHER

THEY WENT TO THE REALM OF DARKNESS WHAT

“The Twilight Town gang” ITS OFFICIAL

OH NO WHAT HAPPENED TO KAIRI

WHY DOES HE LOOK SAD

NO WHATS GOING ON WITH KAIRI

They’re searching her heart?

SHES BEEN ASLEEP FOR A YEAR?!

Riku’s been all ALONE

DATA SORA??

Battalion oh my god lol

I’m mad about Kairi being asleep for a year though

AGSJSGS WE GET TO EXPLORE

Wow. A video game inside of a video game

I spent the rest of the day failing the Data battles and making funny Data Greeting pictures. Hopefully I’ll be better st the battles tomorrow!

#KH3RemindSpoilers #kh3spoilers #KH Re:Mind #kh commentary

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sanjuno · 5 years

Note

Hello I just read TWFF (btw love it) and I was reading the comments and I stumbled on your discussion on how Ace joined the WBP and I just wanted to ask if you think there would be a way for Ace to join them without the creepy implycation? Like I was introduced to OP trougth fanfic and I still haven't read the manga, so I got the implication that Ace could have leaved the ship if he wanted? And that WB arriving after his fight with Jimbe was accidental? [p1/?]

Also I consider the “there are no women in combat roles in the WBP” a case of “I recognize that the autor has made a decision but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I have elected to ignore it”. I sorry for rambling but I’m asking because I have half a idea for a fic were all the ASL are AFAB but Ace/Anne is the only cis one and it change absolulty nothing on how she acts from canon, and I really like how Ace is with the WBP and MarcoAce, but I also headcanon Marco [2/?]

has being 40+ years old and I know that thw WBP are a testosterone fueld mess (even headcanoning at least Haruta and Izo has not-cis and 50+% of the crew very fucking queer), and it’s just so full of bad implications that I hav to deal with but I like them and I don’t want it to be so much of a disaster??? Like maybe the WBP have a float right? So maybe most of the women who want to fight/are fed up with their brothers bullshit have taken a ship for themself and it’s like [3/?]

a super awkward family fight but on a float scale??? Ok, that could actualy work, thank you you just gave me the best idea ever (XD) and I think you yould like it? like fed-up!fifty-something!WB-daughter help the Spades to reach murderball!Anne to spite pops or something (aslo I alredy love her relationship with Marco, like he dosn’t even ave a name and she has already a life of her own, I’m doomed XD). [4/5]

Sorry for my ramblings i’t late here and I sould realy be asleep ^^’ Love your writing! Good nigth! [5/5]

Well now, I’m glad I was able to help feed the bunnies? XP

I look forward to seeing the result of this brainstorm should you ever feel like writing in down in full. Especially since Whitebeard does not allow the women on his crew to fight. Anne being female and gendering as a woman would produce such a huge change in the narrative. For one thing, Whitebeard would never be able to convince Anne to take his mark if that meant she couldn’t fight anymore. So… whee. Fun times~ ^_^

Also when it comes to Ace joining the Whitebeard Pirates under less questionable circumstances… there are a few options. For example, the WBP could rescue the Spades from an Admiral-led Marine attack. Or any fic where the ASL trio are taken in by the WBP as children are good options for this theme too. Basically anything that isn’t “Ace is beaten unconscious and dragged onto the Moby Dick”.

However in the canon flashbacks there were no instances of the Moby Dick docking at an island at any point during Ace’s 100 days of murder attempts. So no, Ace was not free to leave. In fact, a lot of the implications are that the Spades are either following the WBP or have been captured by them. Which means that yeah, Ace was trapped on the Moby Dick. Sure he was able to walk around, but he was still a prisoner.

Also Ace had issued Whitebeard a Captain’s Match challenge, and since Jimbei states out loud that he was fighting Ace on Whiteboard’s behalf there’s nothing ‘incidental’ about the timing of Whitebeard’s arrival.

#Sanjuno talks back #those who favour fire #edward whitebeard newgate #Being shanghaied is Not Fun #Being beaten into compliance is Not Fun #questionable morals there Whitebeard #portgas d ace #portgas d anne

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wordsablaze · 5 years

Text

Too Much Patience Is No Help

(thw pt.4) Yaz’s cramps prove that you can sometimes create trouble for yourself by being too pure and good but all’s well that ends well… Written for prompt ‘angst’ in thasmin week 2019, enjoy!

A/N: Can you believe this took me an hour to write (not bad) but took a day to post? Grr, tumblr mobile :/ Anyway...

Cramps can curl up and die.

They're horrible and cruel and Yaz hates them to Ranksoor Av Kolos and back.

Even though she's well aware of the biological functions of cramps and all that, she can't help but hate them for the pain they refuse to stop giving her.

As it is, she's currently curled up on her bed, her body almost folded around a pillow she barely registers as she hums to herself, her eyes staying firmly shut as she blocks out the offensively bright light.

She'd planned to meet the Doctor tonight and now that plan's gone down the drain. It doesn't really matter, she knows that, because the Doctor is an actual Time Lord and the two of them can meet at any point, but it's more a matter of principle than literal events.

She'd been looking forward to this for the whole week. It had taken them four stressful days to solve the issue of those funny-looking little creatures whose names she cannot formulate no matter how hard she tries, and the Doctor had decided she'd give them some time in their ordinary lives before inviting them to another distant planet for an adventure.

She'd wanted to spend a nice, peaceful evening with the Doctor because their relationship - which she's pretty sure is more than friendship but she does need to confirm that with the Doctor just in case - is something that brings her happiness but no, she had to go and acquire cramps today of all days.

When seven o'clock rolls by and rolls past, Yaz groans and shifts so she's now facing the wall, not the window where the Doctor usually appears, pre-invited or not.

A minute and a half later, she's back to staring at the window, fiercely glaring at it as if it's in league with her cramps and responsible for all her problems.

Ten minutes later and remorse nags at her; she can't actually command her body to move and she feels bad standing the Doctor up when she'd been the one to organise the whole thing anyway.

Twenty three minutes later and she's starting to worry because the Doctor is usually overly punctual with this sort of thing and what if something bad has happened to her while Yaz is just lying on her bed, doing nothing?

Thirty three minutes later sees her getting angry; isn't she even worth checking up on if she's missing?

Thirty four minutes later, however, she's berating herself for even thinking that. The Doctor has repeatedly told her that she's one of the most important people in the universe and that she is worth everything and then some; how can she even doubt something as heartfelt and sincere as that?

Fifty two minutes later, she realises that she'd literally frowned herself into a restless nap from which she wakes with something heavy and uneasy settling in her stomach. Or maybe that's just the cramps…

An hour later and there may or may not be tears in her eyes but there's nobody else to see her and bring about embarrassment so it's fine.

Seventy minutes later and she's genuinely unsure what to feel. She's starting to doubt whether or not she'd been thinking of the right day at all. What if this was all a misunderstanding and she was overreacting like an immature toddler?

Just as she's about to give up and flop onto the floor in attempt to be sure of something - the floor is usually a constant in her life, except that one time the Doctor had taken them to a planet where floors were outlawed - and try to clear her mind, there's a subtle commotion outside her bedroom door.

She frowns, clutching the pillow a little tighter and staring at her door, attempting to try and figure out what's going on behind it. She can hear her mum talking to someone in an attempt at a hushed voice but she's not really sure what's being said or who it's being said to anyway.

A couple of minutes later, just as her cramps worsen and she squeezes her eyes shut, clenching her jaw, there's a small knock on her room door.

The pain takes a second to pass, after which she squints at her door, wondering if she'd imagined it due to her pain- but no, there it is again, determined but… shy?

"C'm'n," she manages, well aware that she's just broken every law of the English, most importantly the one that dictates you actually need to use words, but she doesn't really care because it's probably her mum offering her tea and her mum knows her well enough to know what that means.

Except her mum says nothing as the door is pushed open. Weird.

"Yaz?" a hesitant, gentle voice asks, and a familiar face that definitely does not belong to her mum pokes itself into her bedroom.

Oh.

"Doctor?" Yaz exclaims, then winces when that somehow upsets her insides.

A look of panic flashes across the Doctor's face and she's kneeling by Yaz's bed in an instant, a cool hand on Yaz's forehead.

Without meaning to, Yaz lets out a relieved sigh, the coolness of the Doctor's skin a change from the way her skin seems to be burning the pain away. It's just cold enough to settle her nerves without causing discomfort.

Only then does she notice the faint smell of damp.

Yaz glances up properly for the first time and gasps when she realises the Doctor is just one step away from being soaking wet, her beautiful hair still beautiful but curled and dripping ever so slightly, and her clothes slightly damp, which seems impossible but it's likely she'd dried them as best as she could with the sonic to avoid getting Yaz's mum's new carpet wet.

"Hi, Yaz," the Doctor murmurs softly, leaning forwards and placing a soft kiss on Yaz's cheek.

Blushing, Yaz pushes aside the way that soothes her pain and looks outside, chiding herself for not even remotely realising how heavily it's raining. "Were you outside?" she mumbles.

The Doctor looks at the floor bashfully before shrugging. "I used to- I mean, I've had a few, uh, friends? Do you call them friends? Oh, that's not important, I mean to say I know that people like to take their time getting ready, right? I thought you were just doing the same so I-"

"For over an hour?" Yaz interrupts, her heart breaking slightly at this revelation of how the Doctor had been patiently waiting in the harsh rain for her.

The Doctor shrugs again. "It's not like it'd be the first time. I'm so sorry I didn't realise you were here! And in pain! You must think I'm so rude, mustn't you?"

Yaz shakes her head, despite the waves of pain that travel through her at the movement. "No, no, I thought- I thought you'd become preoccupied with something more important…"

Even as she says it, she knows it's a mistake. The Doctor's eyes flash with something so sharp, so intense, that it can't even be called plain old hurt anymore. Immediately, she opens her mouth to apologise but the Doctor shakes her head softly, simply pushing Yaz's hair away from her eyes with a small smile.

"Did I forget to tell you that I care for you more than most things in the universe?" The Doctor asks gently, something like regret laced in her tone.

That stings almost as much as it warms her heart.

Yaz's eyes water again; she'd messed up. She's messed up so bad and the Doctor is hurting and it's all her fault because she couldn't tolerate stupid little cramps when the Doctor had done so much for her and she wishes she could go back in time and undo the past hour she'd wasted because she was so childish and-

"Your mind is spinning lies about how you've done something wrong, isn't it?" The Doctor asks, raising an eyebrow. "I can practically hear how hard you're overthinking this."

Yaz just shakes her head. "Doctor, I'm so sorry, I-"

"I know," the Doctor assures her, and Yaz manages to believe her.

Another small kiss planted on her forehead later, the Doctor smiles widely. "So, how about some confusing stories to distract you from your pain?"

Somehow, Yaz lets out a weak, grateful chuckle. "That sounds perfect, actually."

"So it sounds like you?" the Doctor asks innocently, as if that wouldn't cause Yaz's heart to skip a beat.

She half-heartedly elbows the Doctor, an unstoppable smile on her face as the two of them settle, Yaz curling around an actual human- uh, actual Time Lord this time, rather than a pillow.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles again, locking gazes with the Doctor for a second before finding her hand and running her index finger over the small scars on her hands. It's become a habit of hers to do so, she's not even really sure why.

A moment later, the Doctor replies with: "I love you too."

Suffice to say, hearing those words is definitely worth the occasional torment of their awkward love.

like/reblog but don’t repost, thanks!

#thasmin #thirteen x yasmin #thirteenth doctor #yaz #yasmin khan #doctor who #dw #fanfic #fanfiction #angst #thasmin week #thasmin week 2019 #hurt/comfort #my writing #mnas

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justgotawesome · 5 years

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I still can not stop thinking about HTTYD3 and just how pathetic it was.

especially that weak as fuck fucking ending. Like it makes 100% zero sense, it contradicts literally everything in every moment of this film and the previous two, it makes 100% zero sense, it completely belittles all of the characters and the world they live in, it makes 100% zero sense, it was just there for the sake of having a sad ending and is not earned in the slightest, it makes 100% zero sense, the dialogue was bizarre and nonsensical because it comes completely out of nowhere without a single other moment in the films to back it up, it makes 100% zero sense, it's meaningless because there's literally the entire rest of the world which is filled with countless dragons, it makes 100% zero sense, they give what happens no time at all to sink in as they undo the entirety of it two scenes later, it makes 100% zero sense, it's extremely out of character from what we’ve seen not just for all of our main people/dragons but for every single Berkian and dragon (like literally if at the end of Avengers: Endgame Steve Rogers was just like ‘Now I’m gonna be an evil villain and take over the universe mwahahaha’ it’s that stupid), it makes 100% zero sense, and lastly it makes 100% zero sense.

Like Hiccup says during the Great Hall meeting "we're dragon people, it's where we belong." and that made me tear up because even though the reasoning for what’s happening is dumb that’s a true statement about them, but then a couple days later he's literally all "well we defeated the bad guys but you should all still go without us because other people don't deserve you or something idk lol bye toothless." and it made me groan so hard.

there is not a single second of How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World or the other two films that makes what happens in that moment make a single bit of sense. Not one second. How do you fuck up that badly in writing a movie?

They wanted the dragons to leave so much so that they wrote a bunch of the most forced and basic plot points to get there, and when it gets there it 100% comes out of nowhere. The FORCED PLOT POINTS THAT THEY WROTE SO THE FILM CAN GET TO THIS MOMENT MAKE THE MOMENT MAKE NO SENSE AT ALL HOW DO YOU FUCK THAT UP??????? How?? I need to know how something like that happens. Something like that SHOULDN’T happen. How do you write an entire movie just so one moment can happen and then have the things in the movie make the moment NOT make sense?? Every single story/character arc in the movie leads to the opposite happening, yet they still left...

So I'm obviously no writer but you know what would have made sense based on the rest of the film, and what every thing in this film seemed to be leading to? Everything happens the same but at that shot where Toothless looks to the horizon and then back to Hiccup, Hiccup then looks to the horizon too and then back at Toothless and says "There's no need for that any more." and T. smiles (because there's literally no reason for them or the dragons to go to the Hidden World anymore and both of them very clearly know that based on what just happened and how they were acting seconds before Hiccup says ‘lol bye’) and then H. turns to everyone and boasts "This... is our new home!" making everyone cheer (because the entire film they've wanted to stay here despite it just being a pit stop, and there’s no one left to threaten that) and then H. turns back to Toothless and then the Light Fury and says "All of us." and T. does that giddy wiggle he does and then the Light Fury stands next to him and they put their heads together or whatever the fuck (because she's very clearly okay with Hiccup and the rest of the Berkians now as shown seconds earlier and seen as that was her whole character arc she’d be happy to stay) and then instead of everyone taking the saddles off their dragons/closest friends and sending them away for no reason whatsoever it's them hugging their dragons and telling them how much they love them and the dragons reciprocating that love for reasons shown throughout the entire film (and I don’t just say this because it’s the happier ending or anything, I say it because based on EVERYTHING in THW this is what makes sense, what the film seemed it had been building up to, what all of the forced plots seemed to be forcing themselves to get to. THEY’RE DRAGON PEOPLE, THEIR WAY IS WORKING, AND HICCUP WOULD NEVER GIVE UP ON THAT).

And then there’d be one final "THIS IS BERK" narration over Berk 2.0, the wedding, them just being a happy village of people and dragons, and then finally the narration ends during a scene with Hiccup and Astrid's kids and that flying scene can still happen with T.'s kids too. Like that would make a bit more sense than oh I don’t know HICCUP AND ASTRID'S KIDS BEING AFRAID OF A DRAGON WHY AND HOW DID THAT EVER HAPPEN?????????

Based on every thing that happens in THW, the dragons staying makes sense. Them leaving is, like I said, Steve Rogers becoming a villain at the end of Endgame kinds of stupid/out of nowhere.

On my first viewing, I thought it wasn't the best it could've been but I enjoyed it and that last scene made me feel how moments in the first two did and I love that feeling so very much. Then on my second viewing an hour later I realized, yeah this film has flaws up the wazoo. Then by the end of my fourth viewing I just accepted it as extremely poorly written/put together, and during the fifth I tried to just get over that and enjoy it still, which I kind of did a little, but now that it's been weeks since I've seen it how badly it's made has just been sinking in lower and lower, and it is very badly made. I just hope I can get passed this the next time I watch it, because there were still things I truly enjoyed.

And like the other day I saw a gifset of a moment in HTTYD2 with Valka, Toothless and Hiccup in the Sanctuary, a moment that's been giffed a hundred times, but it just made me realize how breathtaking every thing about that film was to me. The story, the characters, the world, every single thing that happened. The first film too. Because they were so unique and beautiful and just had this amazing way about them (plus they made sense). But this 3rd film, fuck even I could've written the story for it it's so generic, unexplained, and full of plot/character holes. How this film was made the way it was really baffles me.

This film was just plain lazy, and these characters deserved way better.

#matt babbles #httyd #httydthw

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wallypollyanna · 5 years

Text

Shuffle play- 1933 words

Virgil wasn't expecting to be sharing his music with the rest sides when he went into the living room after dinner. He walked in and sat in his normal seat, the end of the couch, and took out his headphones to chill and listen to his music.He sat peacefully alone for a bit, doozing off a bit and calmly listening to his music. As "It's time" faded out, he slowly opened his eyes.

Which contradicted the sudden noise and flash in front of his eyes.

It caused him to jerk up, suddenly awake. It took him a second to comprehend what was happening, but he realized quickly that the song had changed from the relatively quiet "It's time", which needed his volume up, to "Welcome to paradise", with it's opening guitars blasting in his ears.He also realized that the flash in front of him was Roman bursting into the room, yelling about his entrance.He took his normal seat next to Virgil, and innocently looked at him as though he hadn't just given him a heart attack

"So what's our favorite emo listening too? My chemical romance? Fall out boy?" He asked leaning onto him to get a better look. Virgil opened his mouth to respond, but was stopped by Logan walking in and scolding Roman.

"Is it necessary for you too yell every word you speak, Roman? I was in my room getting some work done, and I could hear you." Logan said, rubbing his forehead and taking seat.

Roman grinned, and responded "Important people say important things ,and need to be heard by everyone!"

Virgil raised an eyebrow. "Then why do you scream everything you say?"

Before Roman could get an offended noise out, Patton walked into the living room and smiled at them all.

"Looks like I'm the last in at this party!" He walked in and took his seat in between Roman and Logan, and looked back and forth between them all. "So what's going on?" Virgil answered first, not wanting to continue discussing Romans yelling, and said "We were just talking about my music."

Patton brightened, and said "I actually heard about something that people do with playlists and friends!"

"And what's that, Pat?" Virgil asked, unplugging his headphones.

"Well, basically it was that the music would be put on shuffle, and then every song would be a person's personality, or a song to describe a friendship!" Patton said excitedly.

"Or maybe a romantic partner." Roman added in, nudging Virgil, who in response turned away and fought back a blush. "I'm down to do it." He said.

They all turned to face Logan, who shrugged his shoulder and said " I doubt it could really give a song that completely describes a person or friendship-" Patton expression fell a bit at that, before Logan finished with "But it may help increase our bonds by going along with it. Patton squealed, and asked"Then who's going first? And who's music?"

Virgil rose his hand. "We could use mine, I guess, since I have my phone out."They all nodded in agreement, and Logan went to answer the second question.

"Since it's Virgil's Phone, I think he should be the one to go first."

"Sounds fair to me." "Go on!" Was all the encouragement he needed to go on to his music and press shuffle.

He closed his eyes, to resist looking down at the song before it started. When it did start, he could help but laugh a bit at it."Be nice to me, how ironic ". They all looked at him, confused, before he clarified.

"It's basically about a mutually self destructive relationship between two people." He shrugged, and continued.

"Pretty funny, since I am-" the looks on there faces made him change his wording."-was pretty destructive to all of you and Thomas."

Patton looked like he was about to but in, but Virgil cut in. "But I know I'm not anymore."

Patton seemed satisfied with that, and Roman said "Who's next then?"

"How about we just go down the couch?" Virgil said.

They all agreed, and Virgil went to click on to the next song.

"Roman it is then."

He glanced away, before hearing the beginning play. He smiled slightly, before annocing the song.

" Wow princy, you some how got a song just as over dramatic as you are."

Roman fakes an offend look, while Patton giggles and Logan hid a smile.

Virgil smiled too, And continued to explain the song. "It's basically the magic in a relationship. It's pretty electric too, so it does fit you pretty well."

Roman lit up a bit at that, and grinned.

"Me next!" Patton said excitedly.

When they all heard the familiar chord of absolutely smitten,Virgil's face reddened and Patton's face broke into a huge grin.

"Is this Dodie Clark?" Logan asked, tilting his head.

Virgil hid his face and nodded, and both Patton and Roman squealed a bit.

"Who knew even someone as emo as Virgil could enjoy some soft love songs! "Roman teased.

Logan looked at Patton, and asked "So then Patton, how well do you relate to this song then?"

Patton blushed a bit and looked away responding with "A lot."

Roman smirked at Patton,as Virgil rose up to press next.

"And finally, Logan." He said.

He pressed next, and saw the last thing he was expecting to see appear.

Logan frowned at the tune, not find it familiar.

"What is this?" He asked, trying to think if whether or not he had heard it before.

Virgil hesitated slightly on telling him, not sure about how he would feel about the song. "It's called you don't know. It's kinda about a guy singing about how life is, and how you don't know what he's been threw, or what he's seen."

Logan nodded, and said "I may listen to it later, then."

"What do we do next then?" Roman asked, enjoying this "game".

"Now we do pairs!" Patton responded.

Virgil nodded."Me and you'll go first the, Pat." When he pressed next and heard the song begin, he felt his eyes water a bit.

"What's wrong Virge? Is it the song? Is it a bad song?" Patton asked nervously, worried about him.

Virgil chuckled a bit. "No Pat, I gotta say it fits pretty well." That had relieved Patton, who started listening to the song.

"What's it called?" He asked.

"What a catch, Donnie." Virgil replied.

Roman and Logan let them be for a bit, before Roman could help but cut in.

"As adorable as you two are, could we shift ourselves over to the other people in the room?"

Virgil nodded, and pressed next. They all sat quietly, waiting for the music to start.

When it did start, Romans expression shifted some.

"Everybody wants to rule the world." Virgil said.

Logan tilted his head, and Virgil took hid cue to explain the song.

"It's basically about people wanting power, and the chaos and destruction it creates."

Roman and Logan glanced at each other, both unsure of what to say.

Then Patton, dear sweet Patton broke the silent atomosphere by asking "How about we continue? Me and Roman can go next!."

Logan looked away from everyone, and nodded. Roman seemed to be happy with the suggestion, and Virgil pressed next on his play list.

Patton seemed happy when the song started.

"Now this is something I reginse! Where have we heard this before?."

Roman seemed pleased with the song too.

"Seven Nation army! This is such a good hype song! I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't fight the dragon witch to it!"

Both Logan and Virgil smiled slightly.

"Sounds like the ehm, the "hype" of this song fits your a Patton's... Eccentric personality's." Logan said, look back and forth between the two.

That seemed to make Patton happy, and Roman was ready to move on.

"Who's going next? How about me and you, dark stormy Knight?"

Logan cut in before Virgil could respond.

"Logically, it should be me and him next, due to you and Patton having just went."

Virgil shrugged, and said "Can't argue with that logic." He pressed play, and looked away from his phone.

When it started, Virgil's expression fell a bit.Logan looked at him questioningly, before Virgil sighed and explained.

"It's basically an anthem for socially awkward people, and the narrator gives off a feeling of being lost, or feeling worthless.".

Logan focused on listening to the song, and nodded. "It seems to fit my inept ability to understand social cues and such, and your stress and anxiety during them." Virgil nodded in agreement.

Before Roman could rush to suggest him and Virgil, Patton beat him too it.

"Me and Logan next!" He said, wrapping an arm around Logans shoulders. The contact seemed to fluster Logan, and made Virgil smirk slightly.

"You got it boss." Virgil said with a salut, before going onto the next song.

It was silent for a bit, before a piano started, which was recognized by all four men.

Roman bursted out laughing, and Virgil couldn't help but grin. Patton and Logan both flushed red, from a combination of the song choice, them being so close, and Virgil and Romans reaction.

Logan cleared his throat, and faced away from Patton, before speaking up.

"It maybe is a fitting theme, because of your ability to love so strongly, and my lack of ability to, "love like you", and your all around "goodness" compared to my-"He was cut off by Patton talking. "Yeah, and how I'll be able to do anything, once you realize one small thing."

Logan fiddled with his tie, before quietly asking "Patton, would you like to join me in my room got some reading?"

Patton smiled softly, agreed with a soft "Sure", before they both got up and made there way to his room.

Roman and Virgil who had been sitting there as quietly as they could, both erupt into cheers as soon as they left.

"Oh thank GOD they've FINALLY come too there senses, I don't think I could have taken much more of there hopeless pinning." Roman said while dramatically laying down on Virgil's lap, looking as over dramatic and relieved as possible.Virgil nodded in agreement. ,"Took them long enough." When he glanced down at Roman, he remembered thw phone in his hand. *Do you wanna finish the game?" He asked.

"Yes! "Roman agreed quickly.

Virgil pressed next, and sat his phone face down to play the music.

Or he did, until he heard what it was.

He automatically reached over to it to stop it, saying. "Well, that was fun we had a good time, that's enough if that."

Before he could grab it, though, Roman took it and held it away from him.

"What is this?" Roman asked."I know I've heard it before!".Virgil desperately tried to get his phone back before Roman figured it out, but by the time he got it, it was too late.

"This is shake it! I didn't take you as that king of Myspace emo!" Roman said in a teasing voice.

Virgil blushed, resorted to hiding his face on the couch armrests."That's it, my dignity is completely gone. God, if your there you can kill me now." Virgil said, loud enough for Roman to hear.

Roman snorted at that, at patted Virgil's head.

"It's pretty cute though, and is an, interesting choice for a song for us.

Virgil groaned, face growing darker.

Yeah, Virgil hadn't been expecting a lot from this evening, but this wasn't too bad.

#sander sides #sanders sides #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #prinxiety #logicality

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nervousbearperfection · 5 years

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You know what I hate? I hate thw fact that just because of a few to people in my life, I am now convinced that I don't deserve love. I hat that, despite the fact that I know that there are good things about me, and that there are reasons to love me, I can't stop myself from being constantly afraid that the people I love, who treated me with nothing but kindest, are just too nice to tell me that they actually hate me.

I hate that I still get myself stuck in friendships and stuff with people that I don't want to be friends with anymore since they make me feel bad, solely because I've been taught by these people that it doesn't matter if I'm upset. They taught me that I don't deserve to be happy, and that as long as they are ok with the friendship, than I should be too.

I hat that I'm still afraid to admit that I'm sad, especially to the people that I love, because I've been taught that I'm only valuable when I'm happy. It's been drilled into my head that I'm hard to be around if I'm sad, so when I start to feel less than happy, I get even more worried, which just makes everything worse, and I hate that I do this.

I hate that I let it get this bad, and that I don't tell people that they need to treat me right if we're going to be friends, because I can't spend time with people who are going to make me feel like shit. I need to spend time with people who make me understand that I'm worthy of love.

And most of all, I hate that some people think that it's ok to make me hate myself in the first place. Of course I should stand up for myself, but if some of the people I end up spending a bunch of time with weren't so messed up, and didn't find joy in destroying any sense of self worth that I may have had, then I wouldn't have to stand up for myself in the first place. It fucking sucks that some people think it's ok to make other, innocent people hurt just because they're hurting, or just because they feel like it. No one should be looking at another person and see their next victim. I try to be understanding of people, and the things they go through, and why they act the way they do, but I can't be respectful, or even try to be kind, or provide empathy towards someone who does nothing but make me hate myself.

These people ruin all other friendships I have, solely because I feel like I can't function properly in them, because I find it hard as hell to believe it when my friends tell me they love me, even though I have lots of good friends who have never once given me a reason to doubt their love for me.

I just hate all of this so much.

#toxic people #toxic #bad #some people are mesed up #i hate this #i hate it #this is messed up #i'm very upset #I'm worthy of love dammit #this shit fucking sucks

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kikkieabby · 6 years

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Ahsoka journey to the Dark side: Chapter 4- Torture and Voice’s

Kikkie: P.S there is some graphic shit in this chapter. Don’t know thw rules of Tumblr yet, but if your not into torturing, don’t read. Alright, enjoy!

I didn't sleep that night

How can one sleep after what I just experienced, especially with someone I use to consider a friend. The room was dark for a couple of hours, then brighten when we passed a shining planet. It reminded me of the moons that surrounded Naboo when I was a teenager. Those were soft bed, and the rooms always smelled of fruit. Anakin and I would spend many nights there, and I knew why too. Doesn't take that long to figure certain things out. I didn't mind, when I was at Naboo, I was treated like a princess on Satine's word. Servants would give me games to play, silks to wear to help me blend into the crowd. I remember one time I went to what they called a beach. I went there and talked to kids my age, hanging out with them, played with them, I even kissed a boy. It was fun, so I didn't mind pretending to play dumb for Anakin's sake.

I wonder if he was like this with Padme? No, she's seven years older than him...wasn't she? Anakin said he knew her since his beginning of his years in the Temple. So, when did their relationship start? I wonder if she's the one who caused all this. Padme was a bit of a spoiled brat in my personal opinion. She was given so much, yet demanded more. Used her charm to make Anakin do certain things. Make me do certain things...I shouldn't look to the past, she's dead now. And I am stuck in Anakin's embrace.

"Anakin?" I spoke. But no answer. Looking over my shoulder, I saw a thin line of saliva seeping from the side of his mouth. He was in a deep sleep, one that would normally take three alarms and eight cups of coffee to wake up and stay awake from. Gently, I moved his hand from my waist, allowing it to slide to another area of the bed. Slowly, I slide over the edge of his bed, his room wasn't that cold so I didn't mind walking around naked.

Tip-toeing, I slowly made my way to the window, gazing upon the planet we were passing. As we did, I started to think of Ezra and Sabine. Were they alive? And if so, were they trying to find me? I hope not, because I think I know where I am. From the vast sense of life, I believe I am on the death star...I could be wrong though. Then again, this place does have a luxury room just for Anakin.

"Ahsoka." Anakin spoke. I almost gasped when I saw those eye's staring at me. Those piercing blue eye's looked as they were glowing against the planet reflection.

"Yes?" I responded, didn't really know how to answer him.

"Come back to bed, I am getting cold." He tells me. I didn't know what to do...I didn't want to obey...but I didn't want to get hurt either. A person can suffer so much before wanting to break. I am not close to that bar yet, but I am tired. I turn around and made my way to the bed. Only to stop and walk over to the other side of the room. He had a couch on the other side of his bedroom. So I took a seat there while staring at the ground. It didn't take long for the sounds of scoffs and ruffling of his blankets to fill the room. Then, his footsteps, then the sense of death standing in front of me. Looking up, in all his glory and everything, I found him glaring daggers down at me.

"I rather sleep here tonight." I told him. He raises his hand to me, that creepy metal hand he was always ashamed of. Especially with the veins popping out where the metal part is attached to the skin. He presses this hand to my forehead, making me feel sleepy. I hate it when he did this, he did this to me when the Jedi temple exists. When I was nervous or too startled after a mission, he would do this to me to go to sleep.

"No..." I moaned. But that didn't stop my world from going black. When I came around, I didn't like where I found myself. I was still in his bed, but my hands and feet were chained to his bedpost, spread out like an animal about to be skinned alive. My eyes widen in fear as I try to break free from the chains, but stopped when a surge of pain went through my body. Starting from the neck, the pain went down my spine then spread all over my body. It accord to me that someone, highly thought to be Anakin, put an electric collar on me. One's used to keeping criminals under control when transporting them.

"No..." I moaned. Trying to break free from the chains that held me to this bed. It took a while, but I soon realised that my efforts were useless.

"Struggling is useless." Anakin said. I turned my head to the side to see him in the room with a tray of something in his hand. How long was he there?

"Anakin release me!" I growled, only to get a chuckle from him as he walks towards me.

"My lord doesn't like wild animal's running around the ship." He chuckled. When he was close to me, he sets the tray down on his nightstand. He then sits next to me, placing a hand on one of my lekke's, examining them. The tray had various objects that were used to cut things, with a bowl of water and wipes. Oh force...what is he planning.

"What are you doing?" I asked. He didn't respond to me, instead, he grips one of my lekke's in his hand. I tried to pull back, but the electricity collar shocks me into submission as Anakin pulls my head towards him.

"You know Ahsoka..." Anakin started as he begins to rub water onto my lekkes. "My life here is boring, dull, and dark. Every day I am either choking someone, or killing another. I have done it so many times that I can't tell the difference anymore."

He tells me before setting the wet clothes down on the tray. He then picks up a took with a moving saw. I immediately try to move again, only for the collar to shock me, making me weak. I felt like peeing the bed, but honestly, I was scared of what he would do to me if I did that. Turning the machine on, he slowly reaches towards my Lekkes. Let me explain something to you, my lekkes are one of the few things on my body that allows me to connect with the force. We Togruta also use it for mating, feeling and even motion sensing, so it's basically a small fracture of our brain. Losing one of the three would not only throw a togruta off, but it would slowly make them rot on the inside because...we basically lost a part of our brain!

"NO! STOP!" I shouted to him, making him pull my head back by my lekkes, looking at me.

"Oh?" He asked.

"What do you want?" I growled at him, trying my best not to make him upset.

"I want you to calm the fuck down. I want you to listen to me and obey!" He growled at me, giving my lekke a tug in the process. I couldn't help but chuckle at his words.

"Obey? You tortured and raped me! How the hell do think I can obey you after you've done that to me!?" I asked him, his resting anger face didn't disappear, instead, his eyes moved to the ground. Removing his hand from my lekke, he sets the tool down to the tray. When I think he was about to leave, he grabs my hand, bending it down, he grabs a small knife tool and slowly begins to stick it in my hand. I found myself screaming and moving violently. I didn't know what hurt more, what Anakin was doing to my hand, or the electric shocks...I think the shocks, because I found myself peeing the bed, soaking the area I layed. My cheeks turned red at the sight of his white sheets turning yellow. This is the most degrading thing in my life.

"Done." Anakin chuckled at me. Looking up at my hand, I wanted to cry and scream. In his hand was...was my skin, my actual skin that remained on my hand. Turning my attention to my actual hand, I saw red flesh that when moved, it stung in a painful way. The pain didn't start fully until I actually moved my hand. It felt like someone set it on fire, I just moved my index finger an inch and I felt that it was burning.

"Oh, force..." I moaned as tears form in my eyes. Anakin was taking pleasure in this, he throws my skin to the ground like it was trash before dipping a cloth into that bowl. He then moves it above my hand and squeezes it, making the liquids fall onto it. I never wanted to black out so badly before in my life. Let only, hear my thoughts have an argument against each other. Multiple voices in my head, screaming and shouting at one another, demanding...fighting...two voice...none of them are mine.

"Just give in!"

"He will destroy us!"

I hate pain!"

"You're weak!"

"But just give in! He'll make the pain stop!"

"But to betray who we are!"

"The Jedi are dead!"

"What about the rebels!?"

"Their nothing but a dream of what we wanted!"

"How can you say that!?"

"Because what we are is gone!? This man killed everyone!"

"You are weak!"

"I survive!"

"Is survival worth your pride!?"

"WE HAVE NO HAND!"

"THEN YOU DESERVE TO DIE!"

"STOP! STOP IT!" I shouted into the room, making Anakin stop his torture. I was screaming at the voices, but it's best he didn't know that. Turning my head to him, he looks over at me with a confused expression.

"What?" He asked.

"I am sorry! I am so sorry! Please stop! Please just stop!" I cried, pressing my head against his pillow, pushing my lower body upwards in into somewhat break free. I wanted it to end so bad, so badly...

"Glad you learned your lesson snips." He tells me. Adjusting his body, he bends over and lays a kiss on my lips. It was soft and short-lived, but nothing too bad. When he raised his body up, he walks over to the other side of the room.

"Where are you going?" I whimpered, actually feeling scared of him not being around me.

"To get the liquid skin from the medic bay. Once that is done, you and I are going to start your training." He tells me.

"Training?" I asked.

"Oh yes, I don't intend to keep you on a leash forever."

Kikkie: I hope you enjoyed! Like, reblog, share, comment and ect! Thank you!

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angelkurenai · 7 years

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Dirty secret - Bill Skarsgard x Reader

Title: Dirty secret

Pairing: Bill Skarsgard x Reader

Warnings: Cheating, Almost smut

Summary: Imagine being best friends with Bill for years and him being in love with you but not saying a thing because you are with another man and now engaged. (His brother Alexander, if you want) However after an intense bed scene between thw two of you in your newest movie things change between you as realization sets in.

It felt as if your lips were still tingling. You sat in the small couch of your trailer and closing your eyes it felt as if you could see him, picture him standing on top of you and hungrily attacking your lips. Kissing the life out of you and you doing the same with him. The shivers that ran down your spine and the feeling that built in your core made your eyes snap open. And it wasn't that you didn't enjoy it, oh it was the exact opposite. It was the feeling of pleasure and even more need that shook you to the bone,

Why? Because it wasn't the man who had given you the ring you were currently wearing after asking that four words question. It wasn't your fiance but rather your costar an long-time best friend, Bill.

“Damn it” you growled in frustration, burying your face in your hands as you felt the guilt grow inside you and slowly eat you up.

You had known Bill for so long, you had always been great friends and you knew you could trust him with everything. You never thought you'd come to this, though. When you got engaged he had not been entirely... happy or pleased with it but just put on a smile for your sake. You had decided to attribute it to him fearing he was going to lose his best friend but at the moment you had started to doubt that. What started out as a simple scene- well it wasn't that simple when it involved a bed and the two of you half-naked on top of it and kissing, turned out much worse than you thought.

You had been nervous at first because it would be awkward in the end to still see each other the same but you expected, after all the takes were done, you'd laugh it off and say a joke so it would feel less awkward. However, not once had you imagined you'd still... want more, more of it, more of him. You had never felt that way about him, not at least realized you did, and now was literally the worst time. Not just because you were in a relationship but also because you were about to get married. You couldn't afford to start doubting your feelings for your fiance and even more Bill. But at the same time you couldn't fight it, couldn't will it away, you could only groan and turn to bury your face in the pillow as you had to still feel goosebumps where his hands had touched barely half an hour ago. Which again was practically everywhere.

You fisted the fabric of the pillow in your hands and gritted your teeth. Angry at yourself for feelings this way, angry at the situation you had to go through to finally feel like this, angry at him for making you feel like this... and at the same time angry at nothing and nobody. You couldn't have possibly known it would all lead to this when accepted the role, you just thought it was a great chance to do what you loved, in a great movie and with your best friend. Bu obviously things had turned out to be much more complicated than that.

A knock on the door made the air got caught in your throat and you held your breath, not doing a single move or even more sound to make sure it was real. Another knock verified your thoughts and letting the air through your nose you pulled away from your pillow and faced it, but still stayed on the couch. You clenched your fists, biting your lower lip when you heard another knock and soon a raspy voice that made your heart clench.

“(Y/n)” his voice showed how tired he was and you knew it wasn't just physically “It's me.” he knew you would never mistake his voice for anybody else “Can I... Can I please come in?”

You hesitated for a moment, looking down at your hands as a lump formed in your throat. You closed your watery eyes and took a deep breath before saying in a low and rough voice “Yes”

You opened your eyes as soon as you heard the small creak of the door opening and as expected your heart leapt to your throat when you took in the sight of his form, your eyes in the end locked and as much as you hated it you couldn't keep the gaze for longer than a minute so you just opted for looking back at the floor.

“Can we talk?” he asked in a low voice, his pain showing through so much that it made you hate yourself. He was one of the most, if not the most, important person in your life and you had sworn you'd rather hurt yourself first than him. Yet you already had done the opposite.

“Of course” you breathed out, looking up at him despite all of the things you felt and you saw that he watching with that almost heartbroken look on his face that made him look like a kicked and scared puppy.

“Wha-” you cleared your throat “What is it?”

“I-” he started, licking his lips as he sat on a chair just a few feet away from you “I thought you'd know by now.” he breathed out and you bit your lip once more.

“I'm afraid I really do.” you sighed, confessing as you looked up with watery eyes “When, Bill, when?”

“What when?” he tilted his head to the side.

“When did you realize it cause I'm sure... it wasn't today after those scenes.” you mumbled and he gave you a sad smile.

“Long time ago.” he breathed out “Long long time ago. Even before...” he paused, pursing his lips “Even before yourengagement.”

“Right” you clenched your jaw “And you- you didn't bother telling me? All this time, Bill, you chose to lie to me about... about your feelings. Your fucking feelings, you let me hurt you, let us act all- all couply in front of you when in reality you-” you stopped yourself, sighing heavily.

“I'm sorry.” he whispered and you gritted your teeth.

“Stop apologizing!” you screamed before you could stop yourself “You- you kept it a secret for so long. You let me believe everything was good, Bill, you let me think you were happy too. You let me act as if-” you stopped yourself, shaking your head “Why?”

“What was I supposed to do (Y/n)? You were happy, if I was hurting it wouldn't matter as long as-”

“It would!” you exclaimed, cutting him off effectively “It does! Because you- you are everything to me, Bill.” your voice ended up coming out in a hoarse whisper “Everything. I would die if I ever realized I could do such a thing to you and now you tell me that- God.” you choked out, burying your face in your hands.

“(Y/n)” he breathed out “Please” his voice was low and you heard shuffling before you felt a hand on your shoulder, and at the mere contact your entire skin crawl but not in an unpleasant way.

“Why- why are you here?” you pulled your hands away and slowly looked up to meet his eyes. It hurt to feel like this, it hurt to feel the guilt at knowing you had a fiance waiting for you when you were having this talk with Bill and it hurt to want nothing more than to rip every piece of clothing separating you and feel as much of him as you could. It hurt to crave him so bad, to crave to be one with him when you couldn't belong to him. Not like this.

“I- I told you. I... wanted to talk.” he looked confused but you scoffed.

“You must be forgetting I can read you like an open book, Bill.” you whispered, sighing softly “We both know it's not just that.”

He let a sigh leave his lips as well, his hand trailing down from your shoulder to take hold of your hand but in the meantime giving you an especially hard time. Feeling his skin on top of yours after such an intimate scene – which again you had to redo many times – made goosebumps form and the air get caught in your throat. You had to keep yourself from letting a moan out so instead you just closed your eyes and bit the inside of your cheek.

“Don't think you're that good at reading anymore then cause you have been missing a great detail about me.” he whispered, playing with your fingers and you barely opened your eyes to look down at your hands.

“Which is what?” you whispered, even if you knew the answer you wanted to hear it.

“That I am hopelessly and utterly in love with you.” he breathed out, finally lacing fingers with yours.

“Why are you here, Bill?” you choked out finally looking up to lock eyes with his, and in the end realizing his face was only inches away from yours.

“Because you felt it too.” he whispered “And we both know it.” he confessed and you took a deep breath through your nose.

“I shouldn't have taken the role in the first place.” you said in a weak voice and he gave you a sad half smile.

“We both know that's not true. You don't want that, (Y/n), but that... is what scares you.”

“No, no it actually isn't.” you breathed out and as if the heat radiating from his body was engulfing you, your entire bodytemperature rose. Along with his intense gaze you could feel your heart go on overdrive and in the end with the addition of the memories you shared not so long ago you couldn't even think. Your mind wasn't working, it was blank, and your body was in control. All of your feelings pouring, impossible for you to hold back, and without even realizing it you grabbed his face and crashed your lips to his, searching for sweet relief which you only found in him.

Bill gasped and stood frozen in his place for a second before his eyes fluttered shut and both his hands found your face to press you closer to him. His lips pressed harder against yours, kissing you passionately and almost hungrily as years of pent up emotions and love poured into it. His nose pressed against yours as his teeth grazed your lower lip. You felt his tongue barely touch your lips and you didn't need another sign to open your mouth and give into him completely as his hot tongue entered your mouth. You didn't even try to fight him, you just let him toy with your mouth and explore it, your emotions had already won the fight for him and you completely succumbed when you felt yourself crawl on his lap and wrap your legs around his waist.

You fisted the fabric of his shirt in your hands as his own hands started to roam your body, frantically trying to touch as much of you as they could and above all to make sin contact. You knew it because you felt the same. You let a low moan when he bit down at your lip but you only kissed him back just as roughly. The kiss was somewhat sloppy, lips moving messily again each other's, your breaths coming in and out short, sharp, erratic and at the same time heavy; mixing with groans. Bill moaned when you rocked your hips on his and his hands immediately gripped your waist to hold you in place, his fingers digging in your skin before he let a small growl.

He pulled just slightly, eyes staring darkly at you and filled with lust and need and you couldn't blame him because you knew exactly how he felt at the moment. Before you could realize it his hands gripped on the fabric of your shirt and got you rid off it. You didn't know if he had properly removed it or just torn it apart but what you cared about was that he had flopped you so that your back was on the couch and his body on top of you. And as if that wasn't enough he violently got himself rid of his shirt as well. He stared down at you with parted full lips that kiss-swollen looked even more appealing. He ran a hand over your side, from your hip up to your cheek; making you close your eyes for a moment.

Your back arched upwards when you felt him lean down and pressed his bare upper half to your almost bare one, the skin to skin was such a great relief you couldn't help yourself but let out a pleased moan. You bit your lip when you felt his lips attack your neck with kisses. But it wasn't just that, his tongue danced over your skin leaving a wet and hot trail in its way. He left a few bites, sucking an still kissing as he slowly made his way down on your chest between your breasts and then to your belly.

You shivered when you felt his fingers hook on the waist of your jeans and the air got caught in your throat when he pulled them slightly down and his lips kept kissing lower and lower. You bit your lip hard but much to your dismay he stopped what he was doing. A whine left your lips without you realizing and a small smirked formed on his lips as he crawled back up and faced you. He didn't wait a second to lean down and crash his lips back to yours, his hands on your thigh bringing your legs around his waist as he desperately rocked his hips to create some friction. You both groaned at the same time and as you threaded your fingers through his hair, you tugged hard. He moaned, squeezing your ass in response and you bit down on his lips before licking them.

Your breathing became even harder and Bill seemed to realize so even if he didn't want to he pulled away to let you catch your breath. His eyes watched intensely as your chest rose and fell fast before you slowly calmed down and your eyes slowly opened to look innocently into his. At the moment he held his breath, letting himself admire you and his soul to take in all of you.

“Bill” you said in a low voice “What... what are we doing?” the innocence mixing with fear was evident in your face.

A small smile tucked on his lips as he cupped your cheek “Making love, darling, pure and utter love.”

“But...” your eyes shifted away from him for a moment “It's not right. It's wrong, so wrong. I'm- I'm not-”

“Does it feel wrong?” he whispered and you closed your eyes, trying to fight the tears.

“I'm his. I'm supposed to be all his and yet my heart-” you almost choked on a sob but he hushed you with a soft kiss on the lips.

“Sshh it's alright, it's alright. I know it is overwhelming but in time you will learn to understand it and to accept it. These feelings are scary but you will realize in the end they are the most beautiful thing to ever happen. I know I did.” he breathed out, his lips still touching yours.

“I'm betraying him. I swore I never would yet...” you let out a shaky sigh.

“We both are.” he said, clenching his jaw “But it's not something I want to think or talk about. Not now. We'll find a way to tell him.”

“And what until then?” you whispered, trembling in his hands, and he leaned down to kiss your lips fully to calm you down. Which he did.

“It will be our little dirty secret.”

#bill #bill skarsgard #bill imagine #bill skarsgard imagine #bill one shot #bill skarsgard one shot #bill x reader #bill skarsgard x reader #bill fanfiction #bill skarsgard fanfiction

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hyyunjinn · 6 years

Text

idk I sort of just want to talk about hyunjin (this is not at all cohesive and i’m just really emotional so read at your own risk)

what really has been bothering me is that I’ve seen so many tweets saying that he’s more than just a visual—more than just his looks

and to think that people have to remind some stans about this,,, actually that’s not what I want to say, more like, the fact that people only like him for his looks?

I know we have this problem with Felix too but I just want to talk about Hyunjin.

I’ll admit the first time I watched Hellevator and he came on, I immediately screamed “oOH HE’S CUTE HE’S MY BIAS” as a joke but I wasn’t set on him being my bias. I chose hwanghyunjinnie as my url bc i always thought those solo member urls are cute compared to the group names (like ahsgahha is xbxngtxnsboys, ssvtss, or starsforastro cute? nO, i’m just attached to those names now haha) so I picked him. I was really hesitant on biasing him because all I knew was that he’s my age and is the visual/part of dance line. I legit thought I would later become Jisung biased.

Also the fact that he’s born in 2000 really threw me off as a potential bias because agsghsjaaj boys my age lmao

but anyways, I thought he was cute and as I kept listening to Hellevator, I really liked the way he fluctuates his voice, even if Jisung’s following rap stood out to me more because it sounded like Rocky’s.

So episode one came around and the one I completely fell for is Minho (and kept side eyeing Felix haha) and I was???? really close to??? biasing Minho? i mentioned so many times in my tags early on about how cute minho is (and the fact that he dances to bts is a big yes from me) yet there was always something that pulled me back to Hyunjin.

but tbh, since I called myself a Hyunjin stan from day one, idk when I really fell for him? like, I like him and my heart legit goes 💘💗💘💘💘💘💖 every time he does something, but the fact that

idk

idk what i want to say

i just really like him and while i know my friends and i joke about me swerving to minho’s lane all the time and i keep getting called out for it,

I really like hyunjin it sort of hurts.

my twt group chat was talking about their first biases and so many people dropped hyunjin, i don’t, idk it sort of hurt seeing that haha

like obviously it’s not their fault but because so many people found out how they ended up biasing someone else and—i guess the way they were joking about how they all dropped hyunjin,,? IDK MY MEMORY IS PROBABLY FAILING ME BUT I THINK I SAW SOMETHING ABOUT HYUNJIN’S PERSONALITY NOT RETAINING THEIR ATTENTION OR SOMETHING??? GUYS IF YOURE READING THIS, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT I’M JUST RANTING

but yeah

I guess I’m just really afraid of how people are treating Hyunjin only as the visual. Like a decoration.

Or maybe I’m just really afraid I’m liking him for the same shallow reason.

and the fact that i just, hype of minho all the time, idk i do this thing where i never talk about my bias so it seems like i bias someone else

and all i say is how cute hyunjin is

idk i aort of want to cry as i write this but

Hyunjin

so much I can’t even make myself use the word love because I feel like it doesn’t match this situation?/he doesn’t deserve my love?/idk?

Like,

I love his laugh and how it’s like a giggle or a loud noise comes out and then he’s laughing

and I love his scrunched up face when he’s smiling brightly and how his eyes curve

I also love how hardworking he is. He’s so determined to improve and pursue his dreams and he’s still so humble about it. This kid wakes up at 5 to go to school??????? and according to woojin their practices end really late? And all those times we’ve seen him practicing his pronunciation and I love how he went to Changbin for advice—

AND HE’S SUCH A NERD FOR DANCE OMG AHSHSHAJAJSBXB like 1) he’s enrolled in dance for sopa? that’s pretty amazing 2) i remember how much he wanted to dance for the 3:3:3 mission but he couldnt and he was lowkey salty about that 3) he looks s o o o happy when he’s dancing

during thw yg battle? he couldnt stop smiling and was such a happy sht when they executed the performance flawlessly. and that spot kids of him teaching chan? I WATCHED IT SO MANY TIMES IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY but shahsgbsjas he’s so passionate even when he’s laughing as he’s practicing

ALSO HE LEANED CLOSER TO INSPECT A MOVE THE YG GROUP DID DURING THEIR PERFORMANCE AND I THIUGHT THAT WAS SO CUTE BECAUSE SAME

and this kid never stops wiggling or tapping his feet or dancing to himself it’s hella endearing

the moles under his eyes are really cute too 😞 i want to kiss them so badly

what I really hate though was the fact that he was smiling for Felix and that really hurt. he was crying but he wanted to cheer Felix up and sdfsadfghfd it was like watching Minho smile until Chan hugged him u g h

he can be pretty savage but I feel like that’s how he shows everyone he cares for them? I do the same thing so I think it’s sorta cute but some people might take it the wrong way and

yeah

honestly idk where I’m going with this because I lost my train of thought but

there’s also a concern of mine about him with the title of visual? i’ve seen him get sexualized a lot already and, i dont want that to happen anymore but it keeps happening and a piece of me dies a little inside because,,,, it’s so wrong and he doesn’t deserve this and the fact that he’s the visual there are some implications lkjfasdfasdf

idk

that spot kids featuring him yesterday really hit me

i really like him and idk what to do or how to feel about it

he’s improved so much from what we’ve seen and he’s so passionate but he’s also really kind and funny and caring and yes he has the looks but he’s so much more than that and I hope people see it because it’s all I can see but I don’t know how to express it

AS CHEESY AS IT SOUNDS

my eyes always look for him and my heart swells every time he smiles and i smile like an idiot when I hear his improvement and i just want to let him know that I really appreciate him and

tbh

i don’t think any idol has made me t h i s soft hahah it’s bad

i got it bad

and i really want him to know he’s more than just the visual and that he’s talented and that people should appreciate him and not just mention his visuals

it’s like eunwoo--or all of astro tbh--again,, all visuals, no mention of the other things that make up them

ugh he makes me so happy i really just want to scream at him to stop

i lost my train of thought again

idk should i even conclude this

i can’t even think straight lmao

what was i even gonna say about this

what was the point of this?

idk maybe i just needed to get this off my chest and i don’t really know who to rant to so uh

thanks for reading this nonsense this far? i guess?

#this was written by me last night at 12:30am in bed and laskdjfsdf there's no edits and u g h #and i just #went soft again #and yeah #idk #i just wanted to talk about him because i don't know who to talk to about hyunjin without feeling bad about everything #i really like him it hurts #cici's stray thoughts

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wereg0blin · 6 years

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for the ask meme? all of them u thot

For ur and Cris' demand1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?Yes!!!!! 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?UhHHHHHH it is 3 years older than me but hhhhhhh probably not3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?Bicth ten mins ago4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?ALWAYS5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?If there are they can go fuck themselves right in the butthole6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?CHOKE-I dont know how but they found me - mr seen aka my eX hHHhH7. What exactly are you wearing right now?a cute ass blouse thingy some tights and christmas deer antlers on top of a Santa hat8. How often do you listen to music?every chance i get9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?jeans i guess10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?i dont even remember 201311. Are you a social or an antisocial person?both damn12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?On the cheek yes13. What about ‘R’?platonically yes14. Can you drive a stick shift?i can climb sticks???? does that count??? 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?they 100% do and i dont really care bc everyone talks shit about everyone 16. Are you going out of town soon?i dont know how to reply to this because i live in two towns17. When was the last time you cried?Wednesday i think,, i wish i could cry more often 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?i try to say it as much as i can bc i have a lot of love in my heart19. If you could change your eye color, would you?maybe a lighter blue bc gray blue isn't that pretty20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?not counting evan,,, uhh Boys ARE A BLESSING TO THIS WORLD FUXK YEAH21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.am planning to tell mh parents abt my depression but hHHHHH22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?if it has boy in it iT CUTE23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?NopE cris is like,,,, my best friend wtf24. What are you sitting on right now?b e d i t s o f t25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?FRIENS. LOVE THEM. 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?ALL THW TIME B I TCH27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?my roommates 28. Do you get a lot of colds?nop, but when i do its fuxked up29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?Switzerland 30. Does anyone hate you?yepity depity do and i hope they burn in hell fucking pieces of shits31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?it will be a cold day in hell when i drink my dudes32. Do you like watching scary movies?BITCH I L OV E MAKING FUN OF MOVIESSO SEEING SHITTY SCARY MOVIES IS A FUCKING BLESSING 33. Do you want your tongue pierced?Nah how tf am i gonna eat spicy shit then???? ¿¿¿¿34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?2015????or 2016??? i think that was the worst my depression ever was35. Did you have a dream last night?i think????? 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?right now37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?hope not???? but then again???? kinda hope i do????? probably not doe38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?yes i know at least 2 boys and i feel so sorry for them39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?probs40. Did you have a good day yesterday?mmmeh41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?oh shit i have no Fucking idea 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?y e s43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?i think???? cris must've told me at least one time and evan too so Uhhhh i guess???? ¿¿¿¿44. What’s the best part about school?i get to have unnecessary crushes45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?ppppplenty46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?yeah but he called me a slut and a whore 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?god fucking hell all the time 48. Were you single over the last summer?yep49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?nope thank the whatever the fuck is out there 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?sleeping i guess51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?evan is a precious cinnamon roll fuck off 52. Are you nice to everyone?YES YES YES YES ALWAYS as i saidk i l l t h e m w i t h k i n d n e s s53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?h hh hhh fuCking tAke a wIld Gue Ss m854. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?bitch when i cheat will be the day i cut my throat 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?bad feelings? yescrushes? n0Pe56. Do you think you like someone?i think but i hope not57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?nop i do not Think so my dude 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?why THE FUCK would that matter59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?current ones?? i dont think so??? 60. Do you hate anyone?nah i just,,,, strongly dislike themexcept the fucking bitches i called friends i hopr they die in a fire 61. How’s your heart?idk i guess ok??? im always okay62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?not really pffft63. Have you ever cried over a guy?yes all the time,, boys r beautiful 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?hmmmmmmmmm idk i can think of a few people but i hope not 65. Are your toenails painted pink?I W I S H66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?bih i wish i could have my first kiss67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?if boyfriend cries i cry thats bad 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?poor poor souls that actually had this happen to them69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?my sister!!! 70. How do you look right now?bored Even doe im honestly just relaxed 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?i do that with everyone bc if u don't like me u don't have tk be around me 72. Can you commit to one person?yes ofc!!!??? 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?even bby ilu74. Have you ever felt replaced?i think?? yes probs75. Did you wake up cranky?nop76. Are you a jealous person?hhhhHA YOU DONT EVEN K N O W77. Are relationships ever worth it?Theyre fun but the end of them makes me wanna die78. Anyone you’re giving up on?crushes and teachers 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?3 more years bih u better wait for meand u too eben b safe u dork80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?sssstudy h81. Last person you cried in front of?mom82. Is there someone you will never forget?yyyES83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?nope he doesn't really care about me anymore (although i dont think he ever did) 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?BICTH ID BE KISSING THAY THOT ALL OVER HER FACE AND WATCHING SAW AND VORING PIZZAEVEN DUDE HHHHELTS WATCH SAW 3 AND LAUGH AT THAT DUDE BREAKING HIS LEG AND THWN I CAN HUG YOU TILL I DIE FROM DEHYDRATION 85. Are you over your past?i ggggUess??? 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?i have no idea 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? @lady-misfortune @space-ace-sneevee @thelilshadowchild88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?what has been has been but i guess idk yet bc ive had like 1 bf for now 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?never kissed 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?i guess???????? 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?i sure as hell have no idea92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?Michael Jackson and I are best buddies bItch93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?noPe94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?i was in a relationship with my laptop and i didnt leave him from 7pm to 6am 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?he a dicky 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?bicth fucjing prettiest people youll find97. Who do you have texts from?crissy gorl that im too lazy to reply to98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?happened to me and i said "glad u told me earlier i dont want u being with me if u r uncomfy" it did hurt like a fucking bitch doe99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?bitch never kissed 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?me, myself and i101. Ever kissed under fireworks?NEVER KISSED FFS102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?IN a jar nicely packed and handed to me? no but stomach butterflies so bad i wanted to throw up? yes

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