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everlastingspiral · 2 years

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hi hi, in your ask ‘cause of a tagged post and wanted to say i disagree about people going on “crusades” when it seems like (unless i missed a post??) people want others to draw/write what they want for the listeners (i do agree the whole ’not *the* listeners, *your* listeners’ thing is silly tho like lol the latter part is implied automatically) but just tag/note so they can decide to engage or not. but anyway, i scrolled your tumblr and found a few things i agreed with (xavier being introduced just to die, the consequences of inversion where 1500 people died not quite being at the level that would be expected of an event like that for major characters, the feeling that all antagonists need to be like 100% bad). it’s the first time (other than a youtube comment here and there) i’ve seen someone be critical even a little of redacted’s work and i’m fascinated lol! i don’t agree with everything on your tumblr lol but but i’m wondering what you would you change about a couple of plots or characters that bother you rn (for me i would chill on the ‘every time alexis is mentioned it’s something immensely negative’ like she can’t be 1000% all bad can she?? there has to be a reason she’s still a major part of the clan and inversion would have taken out a character we actually know maybe or had xavier actually be a major or major supporting character for awhile first; not a writer tho so idk).

I use the term “crusades” from the history of this fandom to get riled up over something very inconsequential, but now that I check again, in my exhausted stupor I mistaked posts from one person for multiple people. I’ll apologize for that at least.

I’m surprised I’ve been having more people on here that don’t act like I want Redacted burned at the stake. I get mad at him sure, but really, it’s not that big of a deal. To be frank most of the things on my “sin list” aren’t things I’m that mad about, it’s more the culmination of them altogether. I’m just venting. Thanks for being so open to conversation. I expected more anon hate when I started posting here, but I digress.

Alright. Anon. You have done it. You have unleashed the floodgates. My third critiquing eye has opened and the planets have aligned. Hell as we know it is freezing over as I type. You have triggered a rant that is far too long and that I had to go back over to add commas in. I guarantee I missed something because that’s how long it went on. I didn’t have any ideas for specific future events in any storyline but I did go over the flaws in his writing, why they were flaws, and how to correct them in the future in a bullet-pointed list. You’re welcome.

Absolutely stop treating Alexis like she’s pure evil. As you’ve said, if it was truly that much of a problem, I don’t understand why the king would keep her around in the first place. The way Sam described his turning also gave me no indication that she turned him out of malice as opposed to concern. She doesn’t need to become a major character, but she needs to stop being brought up as if she’s Adam.

(I’m reading over this response and I want to add that from a character’s point of view of their own trauma, yes, they might 100% villainize and hate whoever caused that trauma. There’s no need for someone to forgive whoever traumatized them that badly, but there’s also a possibility to show a character’s maturity or growth by having them come to an understanding about why someone took the actions against them that they did. For example, I hate the people in my life who have abused me in the past, but I also understand that they were abused themselves, or I was just a person readily available to lash out against. It doesn’t mean I forgive them, the effects of my trauma have been healed, or that their actions were okay. It means I understand that they are people struggling through their own lives like I am. This is a very difficult conclusion to reach but is a remarkable sign of maturity. I’m in no way perfect either and I struggle reaching that point just like anyone else. Just look at my blog, I clearly have anger issues.)

As for other villains, a simple way to portray grey evils is to give them aspects that may be otherwise seen as “good.” They don’t have to be saints, but they may have specific biases you wouldn’t expect of someone bad. To pull up a possible idea for Quinn, perhaps something traumatic happened to him that left him on the streets and he began his nomadic lifestyle in order to help others who also were/feel ostracized from their families. He began helping strays or getting homeless people to shelters and picked up people along the way to help him. That doesn’t sound very “evil” does it? Then we could either have him on a “went mad with power” route, or we could say that the friend of Darlin’s that he killed violated a very personal rule or idea to him, and it resulted in that friend’s death. What was the violated rule or idea? Was it severe enough to justify that friend’s death? This could be as severe as killing someone or being framed for it versus maybe turning their back on a person in need. Was the friend’s death an accident and Quinn ran away without explaining himself, or Darlin’ won’t allow him to?

If attacking Frederick and Bright Eyes was still canon, that alone could be considered a grey area depending on how you go about it. Aside from his trespassing, vampires are made to prey on humans. Is he considered evil for not drinking from them “politely” or is he simply being a vampire and feeding himself? Humans don’t exactly ask for consent when killing wild animals for food, so is what Quinn did much different? That’s a very blurry area that could be debated, and there’s no true “right” answer to it.

This is an example of making a villain “reasonable.” Another I can think of is Vega, who is a compelling character that overstepped his boundaries and twists truths into ugly realities. Demons are also meant to feed on humans, albeit in a different manner, but was it right of him to trap people in an endless cycle of torment for a food source? On the one hand this is resourceful, and on the other this doesn’t take into account his two victims as individuals. His idea is reasonable if you break it down, but the manner he goes about it could be considered going too far, especially as what is established in canon law, which is what makes him a villain. He’s not wrong, but he’s not right either.

As for his more “pure evil” villains, for the love of God, if the fandom doesn’t see a villainous character as pure evil, he doesn’t need to make them worse. Despite how loud a certain portion of the fandom is, it overall was still fairly divided over Kody’s situation. Making a realistic allegory to sexual assault is a very heavy undertaking, and I applaud his desire to want to handle it properly in reference of real life college atmospheres. However, that attempt still failed in the end since about half the fandom didn’t see it as severely as he attempted to make it. Instead of ending this storyline where it seemed to have properly needed to end, he chose to continue it and made Kody be antagonistic where he didn’t need to be in order to make him seem more like an “evil” character. This was not only unnecessary since we already had the Inversion taking place as our major conflict that could break into several smaller conflicts, but it also seemed like a desperate attempt to make up for something he failed to do previously. He should have simply left the plotline alone and forgiven himself for the mistake, learned from where he failed and where he succeeded, and taken that knowledge with him to the next storyline. This same thing goes for incorrectly portraying “good” characters too.

If Redacted decides to have another major event like the Inversion, he needs to remove a major character for it to be impactful. While I would say he should kill them off, he doesn’t necessarily have to if he’s worried about the fandom reaction. Ivan didn’t have to die for his storyline to end. The impact would be heavier if a character died, but he could still “fake” a death and reveal in an Aftershock equivalent that they lived, but there’s some circumstance removing them from the major storyline. I’m not exactly sure if 1500 people can be considered a large or small number since we don’t know how many people were in that situation. However, if it was a large amount, then that number is probably too low, if it was a small amount, then there’s little chance every single major character and listener left that event nearly unscathed.

I said in another post to stop with the “political messages” and I realized later that it wasn’t exactly what I meant to say. Again, venting, my bad. A better way to word it might be “let characters be flawed, make lasting mistakes, suffer consequences for them, and work towards improvement.” He did this more in the beginning, and I genuinely can’t tell you why he might have changed this without making assumptions. In recent history, Redacted has been including talks about consent where they shouldn’t be and immediately covering up any possible conflict between the characters and their listeners. The prime examples I can provide of this, or that made me the most peeved perhaps, are what I added in the list about Geordi and Vincent.

In Geordi’s case, it feels inappropriate to begin his storyline eliminating a potential conflict that would likely be very prevalent with the characters involved. Which for this portion is Geordi and Cutie who’s a telepath. Rather than showcasing the characters and their potential plotline, at least to me it felt like the highlight of his first video was this conversation about “consent” when reading his mind. I’m in no way saying that this is bad, and let me say this for anyone who may happen across this post, I am in no way saying that including discussions about consent or boundaries is a bad thing. It’s more the fact that it was inappropriately placed from a narrative perspective. Anyways, this could have been a building conflict between the two where Cutie kept reading his mind, and maybe even just a video or two down the line, then he comes to them about the consent talk. Redacted could possibly expand on this by having Cutie slip up or put them in situations where they must read Geordi’s thoughts in order to communicate with him when he may not be able to “consent” to it. That could open the door to a major conflict that is readily within reach of the characters and has had prior content to build up to it. In Vincent’s case, Redacted once again threw away an aspect of conflict with Lovely being turned, which was Vincent’s ability to invoke them and lie to them. The king’s ability to remove these being ridiculous aside, this is another situation that could be built on with Vincent learning to control his ability to invoke or simply trying not to lie to Lovely. He could have slipped up in a video where he tells a small lie and apologizes, then tells the full truth. This would have been a much better method of portraying Vincent as caring and trustworthy, and would have probably been more endearing for people to listen to Vincent trying to make Lovely comfortable until telling the truth becomes natural for him. Aside from a conflict where Vincent lies to Lovely about something major happening, such as Quinn hurting Sam or some other major event we may learn about later or through other characters, there’s also the possibility he uses his ability to invoke to save them. The king saved Vincent by forcing him to drink blood, and Vincent could be forced to save Lovely in a similar manner despite his guilt for doing so. It could be making Lovely drink to parallel the moment with Vincent, or it could be something else entirely. Something minor could be making Lovely move if they’re paralyzed in fear, something major could be forcing them to injure or kill someone in self-defense. In both Geordi’s and Vincent’s scenarios, these actions are by no means okay just because their breaking of “consent” or other promises helped someone. That doesn’t mean Cutie or Vincent are villains for taking those actions, they were navigating a situation in a way they best knew how and it got them out of it alive. I’m no expert, but this is how characters, in this case the “good” ones, are generally portrayed as grey. They can still be considered “good” while saving the day in a manner that could be considered “wrong.” Despite my complaints of it, I liken this to Avior’s current situation where he messed up by hiding Starlight’s memory loss from them and is trying his best to explain himself and indirectly promise to better himself from his mistake. (Depending on how Starlight approaches their questioning of him, there’s a 50/50 chance of them forgiving him realistically. If I were in their situation, I would at least need some time away from Avior to think things through, but I again digress.)

These talks of “consent” or being in the “right” have come to my attention specifically because of the inappropriate placement and the elimination of conflict as if to play it safe. I find it difficult to believe that every single vampire in existence has been turned with consent, and delving deeper into that concept opens up a lot of very uncomfortable realities as a result. It’s ludicrous that vampires are somehow absolved of fault by asking a person on the verge of death if they’re willing to completely abandon their old lives in return for having to drink blood, live in the night, and live for eternity, expecting a response made in desperation of survival to be equivalent to consent given with a clear mind. In a way I can understand Sam’s reasoning for having this mindset, and in another I can understand that Lovely is already familiar with the concept of being turned and a vampire’s lifestyle, but these instances don’t come off as characters acting on past experiences or past knowledge. They come off as Redacted saying “consent is important.” Which is a good message, but these situations are far more complicated than simply “obtain consent before doing.”

Similarly, I don’t find Avior calling himself “manipulative” as something that his character would say. He didn’t even seem to act on those past events that happened before Starlight lost their memories to be considered “manipulative”, even from an outside perspective. At most he’s a liar that’s been hiding that fact from them, and that’s how I would expect this character to describe himself as. Maybe this is up for debate, but describing him “manipulating” Starlight as opposed to “lying” to them sounds more like an author’s words than a character that’s in that story, this idea being emphasized by other important but inappropriately placed messages Redacted has made. As for my bit about Frederick’s story being removed, I’ll refrain from talking about the reasoning I mentioned in the list since it’s more of a crude assumption.

Looking over everything again, I can add that if a character has a reliable support system, they shouldn’t be acting like their trauma from 20 years ago happened yesterday. At most, I’ve witnessed people with “resolved” trauma be mildly sensitive to discussing it, and the most sensitive on an “anniversary” of the cause of it. Both Vincent and Sam discussing their trauma sound as if they’ve been alone with no reliable person to help them work through their thoughts and emotions on those events, which makes the king and his clan sound distant and unavailable. The king’s interactions with Vincent as a reliable and supportive mentor, and Vincent and Sam's bond like brothers, feel completely forced when you take into account their reactions to those past events. These topics would undoubtedly have come up at some point and have been talked about with other characters, which would lighten the reaction they would have presently. This is probably the result of certain characters only being added in at a later time, and simply not enough forethought put into how the relationships between these two characters and “background” characters affect how they react to certain past events. In short, a lack of worldbuilding. This is still something Redacted could keep in mind for the future though.

For the last point I believe is a major aspect of Redacted’s to improve, here’s my thoughts on Darlin’s story. It boils down to the fact that Darlin’ in their story is constantly chastised and has their agency removed from them. Them hunting down Quinn’s scent is revealed to be a “blood bond” outside of their control. Sam chastised them for acting on their own and getting hurt as a result, and proceeded to chastise them for not having any food, or otherwise being bad at self-care. (This might be more of a personal opinion, but that particular video felt more to me like Sam was scolding a disobedient teenager than showing passive-aggressive affection for a potential love interest. You can imagine how uncomfortable I felt with the rest of those videos.) David and Sam’s follow-up conversation did not progress Darlin’ and Sam’s relationship. David then chastised Darlin’ for acting on their own and seemed to make it more about himself and the pack than about Darlin’, which again robs Darlin’ of their agency and puts their actions in a bad light. Another way I can put this is that there’s no middle ground conversation for Darlin’s behavior, it’s only them being punished for it like a misbehaving child and they don’t do it again. (Similar to how Bright Eyes was constantly put down with no middle ground, but their storyline was removed before their conflict could be expanded on.) There are no opportunities for Darlin’ to look powerful or independent that aren’t put down by other characters, which renders them being portrayed as horribly incompetent instead.

From a writing standpoint and not an emotional one, this plotline is a train wreck. I would say it’s up to par with other ASMR videos, which render listeners incredibly stupid and lacking any sort of agency, but I expect more from Redacted given every other listener he’s created. While not entirely in control, they still have a good amount of control over their narratives, which makes them more solid as individual characters. The fact that the fandom still takes away the idea that Darlin’ is powerful I would chalk up to their fascination with the idea of the character, and the emotional “manipulation” of hearing the characters’ voices, which is a far different experience from analyzing the story writing itself. I will admit, Redacted is a fairly good voice actor.

As for all my other points, I would say those are more trial and error mistakes that could be fixed as he went along, or otherwise tie back into my points above. I will add that the fandom certainly puts a lot of words into Redacted’s mouth, and more often than not are those words entirely obscured. Trying to dig for the truth doesn’t help my frustration with him, especially as he continues to make very questionable writing choices, but it’s not his fault his fandom lacks the ability to critically engage with his content. It is his fault for encouraging it.

I will say at least, that regardless of my personal opinion of him as a person (that being, he doesn’t exactly come off as someone I would find pleasant to be around), he has a lot of potential as a writer. If anyone sends this his way out of malice against me, include this sort of tl;dr message: Redacted has written a lot of mediocre but fun moments and a lot of great ones too. He’s got the potential to be a fantastic writer, and he’s got great ideas that could be shaped into a very memorable world. However, he��s only hindering himself by cutting out conflicts, doubling down on portrayals of “good” and “evil” characters, and playing it safe seemingly out of fear that his writing would be taken the wrong way. I believe even the most visceral reactions outside my own have assumed the best intentions from him, and I think he needs to similarly forgive himself for his mistakes, learn from them, and continue on while still taking risks and trusting in his own vision. If he finds himself written into a corner or his portrayals go the wrong way, he needs to either work with what he’s made or try to conclude it the best he can and try again with another story. Using retcons and cure-alls will not help him grow as a writer, and writing only fluff will hamper the impact of any major events that come in the future, nor will the actions of characters in those events likely make any narrative sense.

On a more personal note, he doesn’t have to be so concerned about “torturing” his fans with plot. He should be well aware that his fans are sensitive to all of his content, and over-exaggerate a lot of their reactions whether out of being frankly ridiculous, or just generally having an excited outburst from their enjoyment. While I won’t tell him to not be careful with his content, he can absolutely write impactful stories with gritty conflicts without being grim and dark all the time. Just look at the roots of his channel. There is a way to satisfy both people who want an actual plot and people who want a comfortable set of videos to relax to. However, he has to build up to those stories for that impact to be real. I’d say that he does drop bits of lore in his videos, and has done bits of foreshadowing here and there, and that’s just a skill that needs to be worked on to be perfected. That being said, he needs to stop expecting perfection from himself every time.

Redacted. If you won’t take it from the people who worship the ground you walk on, then take it from the crankiest person in this fandom: you do not need to be perfect. I’m not mad that he fails, I’m mad that he’s continuing to fail and sabotaging his own efforts. If he’s that concerned, then he should find people to critique his writing. Not people close to him or anyone from the fandom either, as that’s basically recruiting yes-men which, politely, he does not need. If he keeps trying to walk on eggshells, he will attract an audience that requires and expects that from him constantly, and no one can withstand the immense pressure that places on them forever.

This has gone on far too long. I’ve been writing this post too long and I probably missed some things too. As you can see, there’s a lot I’ve been wanting to say, and I just want to personally sit down with Mr. Redacted and hand him a mug that says “World’s Okayest Writer” and maybe on the back it says “for now.” Anyways. I’m done. If you need me to elaborate or actually talk about future events, anons are open. I’ll try my best to be civilized. Goodbye.

#i need a nap

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themountainsays · 2 years

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Stepping aside from the proship part of the drama, encanto purists have made enjoying the movie a nightmare. Everywhere you go it’s harassment or fear mongering of “this is for such and such you can’t enjoy this unless we’ve deemed it okay if not it’s this because of an American idea of how people and relationships to cultures should be”. I’m not Latina, or poc for that matter, but it seems the loudest people for the discourse are mostly white people talking over poc 😭 they just really don’t care the way they should

bro see this is why i stick mostly to the proship side fo the fandom TT_TT people are so much more chill like seriously one of the nicest fandoms I’ve been in. It’s also where I’ve found most of my fellow sudacas and latinos tbh 👉👈 people on this side legit just don’t care we can just relax and be ourselves. I would LOVE to be more involved in the “normal” side of the fandom because, contrary to popular belief, I greatly enjoy fanwork about normal platonic familial relationships (I just can’t ship brumira dude because, Bruno?? that’s her dad now sorry I don’t make the rules*). But but but... TT_TT ur right anon the “normal” side of the fandom is unbelievable. If they’re not lovingly describing how they want to turture or kill me in my DMs they’re beign horribly racist and homophobic left and right good lord. I have these friends, who are white, who tell me they’d love to participate in the fandom but they’re terrified of the violent reaction these folks will give them.

Honestly, I don’t really care if it’s “poc” or “white” people talking - I care that they listen to latin americans. Anglos will wave around their “poc” card as if that validated all of their takes, but honestly all of the smartest arguments I’ve seen are coming from my latin american mutuals, some of which are white. The thing is that... they actually live here. Living here makes all the difference. I care much less about so and so’s skin color than I do about the language they speak and the country they’re from. This gringo obsession with race is already annoying in most fandoms, but, okay, it may be weird for us but it seems to be working for them. But when they try to apply it to latin american characters and impose it on latin american fans, that’s when I feel the need to speak up.

The thing is... okay I’m latin american, I’m “poc” or whatever gringos call it (god I hate that term tho), I’m queer... so surely, I should be allowed to have my queer headcanons, right? I should be allowed to do whatever I want with this representation, right? But... if I can relax and do whatever I want... then what is preventing a foreigner from doing the same? What is the difference between me and them? We are all the same. It doesn’t matter that we speak different languages or come from different countries, because what matters is encouraging interculturality, multilingualism, and strenghtening connections between people internationally, not to segregate ourselves into different, fundamentally separated groups. Personally, I find it beautiful that foreigners love Encanto this much. Like, obviously what matters in real life it that they oppose political measures that will harm latin american economies, that they vote for candidates that will not subjugate our lands people and resources to USamerican and european industries etc etc, but... it’s nice to see them love this movie about a latin american family and cherish its characters so much. Idk it just makes me feel appreciated. I’ve talked about it before, how Encanto feels like a love letter to latin americans, because it shows these characters living in so much wealth and comfort and safety and luxury, and it says “this is how you deserve to live!” so yeah I like it when they celebrate that. And some people express their love for characters by slapping a rainbow flag on top lol. I honestly feel more flattered than anything else.

*funnily enough, joking about Bruno being like a dad to Mirabel is also Problematiqué, because “she already has loving parents”, and as everyone knows, AUs are racist or something idk whatever argument they came up with now.

#encanto discourse #:(

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captainshazamerica · 3 years

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Yeah I don't like brutalia either primarily because talia is out of his league no pun intended (and ahem she's my wife piss off bruce lol) i love that the impact of thier story is Damian!!!hahaaa

I dont ship babs with anyone really I wouldn't mind DinahBabs but I'm not fussed I just don't like her with bruce or any of his kids, they squished her into a relationship with dick and then in animated movie she was with bruce 😨 and I'm not sure if her and jason ever actually got together but he left her a note confessing his love which she never read so? Also Jay kid going after his big bros ex 😅

I dont really like WonderBat for no reason other than it feels so freakin weird to look at like my brain refuses to process it

I'd die for supes/lois harlivy and alfred/tea 😊 I like that you sent spideypool to superhell hahaa

Dickkory is supreme imo they should get married and let live in peace with thier chaotic super kids

Platonic stucky & SuperBat the brotp feels!!!! Just choosing someone and being like that idiot right there is my brother my family and I'd die for them is just ahhhh you're right platonic ships are the best ❤ohh whose your fav ships/otps ? I mean Lee and Ed yeah? I love ed he's such a poor disaster honestly bless him

💖🌼💖🌼💖

LMAO at Talia being out of his league, the pun fits way too much tho 🤣👏🏻"piss off bruce" lmfaoo, get it!😂 I just dont like that some versions have dub con with her and Bruce, puts a yucky taste in my mouth and kinda tainted the whole ship for me tbh. I like versions of her where she isnt like evil lol. Honestly I dont really ship Bruce with anyone, I like the Ace!Bruce headcanon tbh! But lmao yeah that's exactly where I was going going the impact of the ship being damian ahahaha

Yeah I feel like I just dont know Babs well enough (well in canon, I feel like I know Fanon her way more xD she never seems to be in the stuff I watch and read too much) to go full out shipping her with someone, I dont oppose to DickBabs tho and love a good childhood friend to lovers trope, I just havent seen them in canon much. And yeah never actually heard of DinahBabs, again I'm not opposed to it but I honestly dont know Dinah well enough to ship her with anyone other than canon tbh. Wait which animated movie with babs with bruce?! I for some reason dont remember that?! I know she was Jim's wife in Gotham by Gaslight (hate that but like the movie, especially the street rat Robin's all together omg). But like I can actually see her and Jason a bit, I need to look into that more. Omg he did? Which comics???he is so dramatic tho, he freaking would leave a damn love letter 🤣that's so jason tho to go after his brother's ex too😂👏🏻

Omg SAME ABOUT WONDERBAT, omg, like that's my EXACT feelings towards it! For some weird reason it makes me brain go Huh? But I cant pinpoint why! I mean, she also is too good for him/out of his league lmao

So confession, I've never liked Supes that much at all and only recently started to come around after diving so deep into the Bat and titans world xD So I dont have a huge connection/seen Supes/Lois in much but I do think they are very cute, I just need to watch and read more of them! And Harlivy is iconic man. And are you even a batfan if you dont love Alfred and tea?! Gosh I would die for alfred tbh, he is too freaking pure for this world. That bats would be NOWHERE without alfred man

Lmao about me sending spideypool to superhell 🤣 like listen,there arent too many pop ships I would send there but they are one of them man xD On top of the fact I think of Peter as a high schooler and Wade way older, not to mention wade would corrupt that poor child, the whole ship just gives off Cursed vibes to me man🤣🤣🤣

Bro I need to read more of Dickkory cause while I dont like oppose, i just feel pretty neutral! What makes them supreme to you? Win me over Batanon!! Like I wanna go hard for it but again I guess I just havent read enough of them?(tho again, I LOVE the IG Teen Titans version of the ship!)

Dude YES to platonic stucky and sueprbats!!!! I rarely see them get platonic love in the fandoms!(tho platonic superbats gets more than platonic stucky it seems). But YES! Amen to what you said! I also am an only child so I kinda love any found family sibling vibes, especially bros.

Lmao you know me so well, def Nygmakins (Lee x Ed) is like my otp(he truly is a mess and needs her to stay in line man, Oswald is too much of a mess as well xD ) and I love how she is helping him fight his inner demons type trope and they are both like morally grey at that point in time and the chemistry and ah!

But also, Bbrae (Beast Boy x Raven (in all forms), DamiRae(Damian x Raven(especially in Justice Leauge Dark Apokalypse war), YJ Artemis x Wally (cant think of the ship name at the moment ), and most recently Jaytemis(Jason x Artemis, dif Artemis, this one is an Amazonian Bi queeeen )

#i love you batanon #batanon #dc #batman #ships #meredith thoughts #meredith gets an ask #dc ships #ask #asks

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zuzuslastbraincell · 4 years

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For the salty ask game: 6, 10 and 16? <3

6: Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

I never used to like kataang or maiko much, but I’m good with the former and really like the latter now.

while I’m still not a big fan of the kataang (without wanting to write an essay: ember island players ruins it for me), I’ve softened on it a lot largely just from seeing the content for it on here. they’re just honestly very sweet? I don’t know if it’ll last for practical reasons, but the idea of aang & katara offering each other hope from the beginning and until the end is just lovely.

as for maiko, I absolutely love the strength of mai & zuko’s dynamic (platonic or romantic) just from their boiling rock interactions alone. I feel like a lot of early s3 maiko very much demonstrates that they have some communication difficulties to work through together (thinking about the beach in particular here, but also the ‘are you cold?’ scene, as well as the break-up via letter interaction, that’s the big one) and in a sense mai represents part of zuko’s ‘ideal’ life as a perfect prince that he realises that he has to break from in the first half of s3, but I’ve come around to the idea that if they spent some time working through their communication issues they could really have something lovely? I do also think mai deserves a short break from the stifling culture of nobility/time to explore herself first, but after that? totally could work. like, i’m personally really attached to the gay zuko headcanon and always have been but a lot recent mutuals are maiko shippers and i’ve become very attached to maiko as well because of them (in parallel universes of course).

16: If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

so many things....

1. less racist, more sensitive worldbuilding. crucially better south asian rep, clear south asian rep. this also means including removing the caricature of guru pathik and changing the design of combustion man (and p’li) not to include a reference to shiva. the show’s philosophies and vocabulary owes so much to south asian culture and the lack of representation in that aspect alone is shocking.

2. references to the fact that there are some air nomad survivors / descendents in hiding in various and that being a late s2 / s3 subplot. (maybe aang is still the last airbender tho? but certainly his culture won’t die with him). the culture isn’t perfectly preserved / has changed with time and enduring hardships, some things have been lost, but there are still survivors clinging on, proud. maybe it’s this community that helps with him the avatar state, not a random guru? or they could help him with his s3e1 dilemma about ‘blending in’, as many of them have discarded certain aspects of appearance in order to hide? i feel like this could add so much to aang’s arc in the latter half of the show.

3. better writing of the white lotus, with the white lotus as a international resistance org that operates in all nations, that uses old man’s pai sho club as a front. they’re introduced as opposing the dai li in ba sing se, as trying to organise resistance in secret, have ties to some local revolutionary/radical factions as they have a long standing rivalry with the dai li (& part of the reason the dai li side with azula is to crush the white lotus and resistance to their reign). iroh is not grand lotus but merely gets recruited in s2, as part of a redemption arc.

4. a subtle iroh redemption arc where iroh realises he cannot simply be passive and perhaps let the treasonous thought ”hm, maybe it would have been better if the avatar fought sozin” cross his mind - he needs to take a more active role in opposing the fire nation, and he joins the white lotus. i think he also needs to reckon quite specifically with the cost of the siege of ba sing se, he needs to make amends to those hurt from it on both sides - be confronted by fire nation defectors who left after the siege because why were their deaths less important that his son’s? as well as encounter how the siege left scars on the lower ring, in a less visible way (untrained lower ring residents formed resistance militia and generally died in huge numbers; plague and starvation greatly affected the lower ring, etc.). no iroh as a moral authority here - he’s morally grey trying to become good. also he doesn’t stick around in ba sing se, he realises the jasmine dragon, as lovely as it is, isn’t true redemption either, and at the end of the series he stays in the fire nation.

5. leading into point 3 (and 4): in s3 the gaang encounters and works with grassroots underground resistance in the fire nation. i think this is a better message than ‘oh the fire nation is a soceity ridden by class division that exploits its poorer / less privileged people and its own environment as long as it doesn’t affect the elite, and turns even its most privileged children into traumatised child soldiers and is indirectly hurt by its own colonialism and imperialistic culture, and that’s deeply sad’ - i think a better message is ‘the fire nation is a society with all those problems and you can do something about it. you can stand up. even though that’s scary.’ this resistance group is around for day of black sun (in fact they’re vital to it) and then you see a key member in boiling rock too.

6. no combustion man. honestly? weak writing. would much prefer zuko attempting to ‘stealthily’ track the gaang on the false premise of a ‘welcome home tour’ where he slips out under night to try and chase them down - this would mostly be alluded to in a few scenes. i also think this would get zuko to realise how much the fire nation itself has been hurt from war. i think the main early s3 plot points e.g. the beach episode still happens, as does the war meeting. i feel like zuko would need extra firepower to be a decent s3 threat - maybe he takes mai and ty lee with him? zuko ultimate lesbian ally takes bored lesbians from the palace for a knife throwing chi blocking field trip kjfshdj i’m joking. but seriously we could also have a combustion bender on board as well as a potential new character (i’m imagining someone like a younger p’li if i’m honest, same age range as zuko), as long as they have a character beyond being a scary assassin. maybe they defect early to the resistance group before the day of black sun, tell zuko they should too (but zuko doesn’t listen)? that’d be rad.

7. the existence of grassroots resistance would basically allow for the series to end with zuko being offerred the crown, but deciding to give it up / end the royal line. rather than a power vacuum, or iroh, the existance of resistance means there are clearly people (i.e. adults) who can fill that space. maybe this is a bit optimistic of me but i would just love to set up a scenario where zuko doesn’t become a boy-king of an imperialist nation and where absolute monarchy doesn’t continue, where there’s a clear shift in system. i understand the narrative power of zuko acknowledges he has inherited wealth and power that has been gained through exploitation and imperialism, and dedicating his whole life to undoing the damage his family has done, but i think he can do this without being the fire lord? in fact not being the fire lord is a good first step. zuko finds another way of doing exactly this.

8. talked about this a lot recently but better toph s3 representation & greater ties to the earth kingdom. also, i’d just appreciate a lot more flavour from the earth kingdom as a whole, and more prominent characters from there?

9. okay i’m not sure there is quite honestly space in the narrative for an azula redemption clearly on screen in as much depth as zuko’s but 1. i’d like iroh not to treat her horribly, thanks, and maybe even try to reach out to her at appropriate moments, maybe we see him (comically) say a lovely warm hello during her s2 appearances, maybe we see her play pai sho with him in s3 while he’s in prison in return for some secret info he’s not actually giving her while he’s not-so-subtly suggesting she should defy her father (but it’s too little too late, he already *chose* zuko in her eyes, and perhaps he did and is only just beginning to realise that) 2. i would like some hope and optimism at the end for azula. her breakdown is truly tragic but it feels like pain for pain’s sake in a sense - i would have loved for the finale scene with zuko & ozai replaced with a scene where someone visits azula and tells them they’ll be there for her and/or they love her. perhaps iroh, perhaps zuko (though i think that one would be more complicated obviously). i would love a post-finale scene where iroh sets up a tea shop somewhere in the fire nation where we see azula out the back, finishing up wiping down/mopping the patio, and before aang goes inside to say hi to his friends, we see them bump into each other - azula bows deeply, a clear apology, and aang accepts it. then we see azula runs off to go hang out with some friends before we follow aang inside as he encounters his own friends.

basically i’d rewrite a lot of s3. i’m dearly, dearly attached to s3, especially the second half, which has some of my favourite episodes of the entire season, but i think it’s flawed.

#drowning-in-cacophony #long post #sorry this ended up being REALLY long

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typewriterghcst · 3 years

Text

Title: The Willow Bud Processional

Fandom: The Cat Returns

Characters: The Cat King, Natori, brief mentions of others

Summary: The Cat King discovers that in all his time in court, Natori has never learned to dance, and heroically takes up the position of dance instructor for himself. It’s about damn time he got to feel like the smart one.

Notes: hi i’m here to regale you all with a tale of two old dumb cats interacting with each other like they think the other one will spontaneously combust at some point even tho they know each other so gd well they could probably quote each other word by word :v

i will say this one is Unfinished, but the missing parts are explained orz i’ve honestly just run out of steam on this one. me writing this was like ‘oh two characters dancing together in a casual setting? excellent my favorite’ and then the slow, sad realization that i’d have to actually write The Dancing and slowly losing that motivation until i was a dehydrated husk lying on the floor

i also listened to this song like. Way Too Much while writing this

[ insert a beginning Narration detailing that this is some nice party probably celebrating lune and yuki’s wedding or something SHHH the king is feeling weirdly down, lacks the emotional intelligence to put a word to What He’s Feeling, so wanders out onto a balcony to sulk, and is eventually followed by natori jfjfkd; ]

It doesn’t take long at all for him to be followed, of course. He hears Natori’s arrival not as a patter of careful footsteps, but as a slight, brief increase in the music volume through an opened door, one that is just as quickly diminished. And he knows his visitor must be Natori— no one else will so consistently come looking for him.

“Did you find yourself needing some fresh air, sire?”

“Yeh,” the king decides to agree, turning to look at his new companion. Natori almost always appears quite polished, those moments he’s comically caught off-guard aside, but there’s something implicitly different about him when he’s clad not in his usual dark linen, but what looks to be plum-colored silk. Were he feeling slightly more charitable, he’d most likely mention to his advisor that the color was appealing on him.

Instead, the indistinct melody he catches from indoors hogs all his attention.

“...eh? Is that the Willow Bud Procession they’re starting up again? They already did that one tonight.”

Natori, surreptitiously glancing back through the glass doors to the dancing pairs inside, responds, “Yes, but I’m led to believe a striking number of the courtiers are quite proud of their costumes tonight. I assume they all wished for another opportunity to show them off.”

“Oh, yeah? If that’s the case, I’m surprised you’re not out there with them— that shiny stuff you’re wearing had to set you back a pretty penny.” It comes out perhaps more sullen than he’d intended, and he can’t quite place why.

Regardless, he makes no move to amend his tone.

Natori turns a studying look to him, one paw still on the frame of the door. The king shares his gaze for only a few seconds before he hastily looks away, back out into the sun-drenched hills of the Cat Kingdom, where his attention falls on Little Sister Lake. There’s birds there now, cranes— tall, white. Formless. Hm, he thinks then, perhaps they’re not birds, after all. They’re occasional visitors, but no cat in the kingdom has yet been stealthy enough to see them up close.

Natori has remained silent for so long, he’d almost forgotten his advisor had joined him. Nevertheless, he eventually says, “...I might say the same for you, sire. You seemed quite enthused about your crown’s replacement earlier tonight.”

The reminder brightens the king’s mood a little.

“Yeh— Natoru did a top-notch job on it, didn’t she? I’d give her a promotion if I could remember what her position actually was. An’... you know, if I wasn’t retired.” And there, remembering what the original topic was, he follows that up with a more subdued, “Eh, but everyone’s already seen it. Also, I never liked that stuffy procession, to tell you the truth. ‘Willow Bud Processional’ is a pretty whimsical name for what amounts to shuffling rhythmically around the dance floor. Drove me up a wall having to practice it all the time as a kitten.”

Were he facing Natori, he’d see the other cat visibly relax. Alas, he only turns to face his advisor after the revelation Natori sees fit to offhandedly drop on him.

“I’ve never actually learned the steps to it, myself.”

He turns back to survey Natori with some measure of disbelief. “You don’t know how to do the Willow Bud Procession? How have you survived all the parties without knowing?”

Natori hesitates here, and the king reads a definite embarrassment in it, as if the other cat is uncertain what he should admit to. It seems he does settle on honesty, however, as he soon after offers the king a rueful smile and an apologetic tilt of his head.

“I’m afraid I don’t often do much dancing during them, ha.” Too focused on keeping you out of trouble, he doesn’t say, but they both know.

The Cat King thinks on this for a long moment or two, gaze drawn back out to the distant white birds bathing in the kingdom’s cherished lake, the Not-Cranes. In silence, casually, Natori joins him there at the balustrade, and the air is distinctly companionable until the king speaks up again, distracted.

“It’s not hard. You’d probably pick it up in no time, babe.”

“Perhaps you might teach me, then, sire? It sounds as if you’re quite the expert.”

The king pauses, trying to ignore the bloom of smug delight that comes with being referred to as an expert of anything, but, of course, not very diligently. It’s not like he’ll correct anyone who wishes to feed his ego, least of all Natori.

He looks to Natori and finds that his advisor is regarding him with an expression he can’t quite define. Concerned? Affable? Sly? It’s somehow all of them. Not for the first time, he finds himself wondering if Natori has some obtuse plan he’s orchestrating in subtle ways the king himself can’t quite catch. He’s been proven wrong in this line of thinking so many times before and yet still can’t shake its occasional return in those times when his advisor seems particularly unreachable.

“Hmm. Yeah, babe, I can do that.” The idea of teaching his ostensibly better-read advisor anything is perhaps unsurprisingly enticing. He gives the empty balcony behind them a cursory inspection. “We can have a lesson here. There’s space.”

[ insert the cat king teaching the steps to the ‘willow bud processional.’ if you’re really curious what this might look like, pls feel free to look up ‘pavane’ on youtube. at some point, the king still feels Ignored (or, more accurately, like he’s not Truly Connecting and Socializing with someone), so like a sullen two-year-old he gets natori’s attention by tossing a wrench into his plan ]

“I want to hear a story,” the king says airily.

Natori, who had been gazing down at his feet with a faraway stare, looks back up to him with a raised eyebrow, and somewhere inside, the king whoops at his tiny victory. “Now..?”

“Yeh. Now.” The Cat King takes Natori’s apparent break in concentration as an opportunity to spin the two of them across the balcony, as if they were hapless passengers on a carnival ride as opposed to two old friends trying to have an impromptu dance lesson. Natori stumbles but doesn’t fall, righting himself with a deceptively practiced air, even if his grip is noticeably tighter than before. “Tell me a story, Natty.”

Natori, feeling the situation so characteristically slip from his grasp, glances down to his feet again to gather his thoughts.

“Well…” He eventually starts. “What kind of a story, sire?”

“Hmm. I dunno.” Another too-fast spin. He’s fairly certain he’d seen both Natori’s feet leave the ground for a fleeting second. The other cat definitely looks a touch aggravated now, though he’s trying bravely to hide it. “Tell me one you might have told to your sisters once upon a time.”

It isn’t often the topic of Natori’s family arises between them. The boundary between his advisor’s working family and his personal one often feels like an insurmountable wall at times, one which he doesn’t always possess the interest or fortitude to scale. The oddness of it seems to add only more tinder to Natori’s uncertainty, but in his usual way, he manages to sidle past it. In the meantime, also, the king slows their pace, this time only holding their joined paws in the air and waiting (Natori seems to twirl under their ‘canopy’ without thinking, still too engrossed in choosing a suitable story.)

After a long couple of moments waiting, the king finally speaks up again. “There were that many?”

Natori laughs, genuinely (the king can tell by the way it —). “It’s been a long time since I was the storyteller, sire. Lune always did prefer Natoru’s stories to mine.”

“Hers always involved more explosions and punching. You were outgunned.”

The king watches Natori’s eyelids flutter slightly from long-cold exasperation. “...Indeed.”

“So tell me one of your favorites. One you never did get to tell Lune.”

Natori doesn’t say that he has the less-than-flattering suspicion the king’s attention span and his appreciation for fairy tales are about on par with his son’s as a restless, curious child, but he’s certainly thinking it quite loudly. If the Cat King has even an inkling of the same thought, he’s for once discreet enough not to mention it.

Natori blows out a breath and an uncomfortable laugh with it, and starts. “...I suppose my favorite was always the one that explained why the sun lived in the sky.”

The faint strings of the Willow Bud Processional from the open door leading onto the balcony begin to fade, and instead revive themselves as another familiar dance, a much slower, more intimate one (one Natori recognizes as the charmingly-named Lilycat Waltz). The king wonders if perhaps the bride and groom had requested a quiet moment. He and Natori move away from each other, standing across from the other in apparent uncertainty over what to do next.

“...You know how to do a waltz?” The king finally asks Natori, though he’s already guessed what the answer will be.

“You’ll have to show me, sire.” As expected. Yet with a bit of good humor mixed in. The king thinks to himself that the two of them are sharing an inside joke neither has yet spoken aloud, and it’s a familiar and comfortable nook they’ve settled into.

“Alright, babe, alright. So stand here— give me your paw—”

Natori complies with both directions with little hesitation, and he raises no protests when he’s pulled close or when he’s otherwise (perhaps less-than-gently at some points) guided into the right stance and position.

And when they’ve gotten situated into another habitual nook, this time closer together in the easy, thoughtless way only the oldest of friends can manage, the king speaks up again.

“You took right to it, babe. Said you’d be a fast study— didn’t I tell you so?”

“You did tell me so, sire,” Natori replies indulgently. Seemingly as a consolatory afterthought, he then adds, “Are my feet in the right position? It feels off.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re new to it.”

Their words, now, feel like a recital, a carefully-rehearsed script. The king thinks it’s about time they broke away from it.

“I have a question for you, Natori.”

“Oh? If it’s important, there’s no need to keep it to yourself, then, Your Majesty.”

“Why does the sun live in the sky?”

Natori laughs. Surprised, perhaps, self-effacing, because he’d been waiting for the question on both their minds, not a request for the continuation of a story he’d assumed had been forgotten.

“His Majesty has a long memory.”

“But you already knew that about me, babe.”

"So I did." Yet Natori continues where he left off readily enough. “The story goes that once, long before the world as we know it was formed, the sun and the water were close friends. Inseparable, one might say— and both lived on the earth, of course. The sun would make frequent visits to his friend, but the water never once returned the favor.”

“Hmph.” The king sounds somewhat discomfited by this beginning, and the intense contemplation Natori spies in his expression tugs at an unexplained apprehension within him. He doesn’t otherwise respond, however. Natori continues, perhaps more gingerly than before.

“Well, of course the sun would find himself curious, if… ah, perhaps suspicious, over this odd discrepancy. He finally saw fit to go to the water themselves for an explanation.”

“That was an awkward conversation.”

“Ha— I always thought so, too, as a child. When my—” Here Natori stumbles just slightly, and the king has little reason to wonder why. “--my mother used to tell the story to me, I always thought of it as the worst part. I always thought… well, if I ever did end up in the same situation, then nothing in all of the kingdom could get me to approach this friend of mine.”

“Were you expecting to make friends with the lake, or…”

“I was five, sire,” Natori deadpans in response to the king’s jest seamlessly.

“Oh, so you definitely were.”

Natori doesn’t answer— he’s too distracted by the faint increase in pressure where the king’s paw is holding his waist, and how the cat suddenly spins them around and then leans the both of them forward, to the degree that Natori’s balance is compromised. In the heat of the moment, he can’t decide whether crashing to the floor or clinging to his self-proclaimed teacher will prove to be the most embarrassing option, and in the end is relegated only to grasping his partner by the arms, stiffly holding one leg outwards in a weak attempt at a counterbalance. (He does not have the core strength to keep this up for long, he can tell that already.)

He’s been exceedingly patient before now, Natori thinks, in dealing with the king’s antics, but this finally proves too much.

When he speaks, it’s softly, but there’s an undercurrent of resigned exasperation, and his expression, he knows, must fail to belie his chagrin. “...sire, I’m not certain how being tossed across the, er, balcony like a bag of rice is going to teach me any of these dances.”

The king snorts in apparent amusement as he pulls the two of them back upright, much to Natori’s relief. “What’s the matter? You don’t trust me to hold you up..?”

You don’t have the most promising track record runs through Natori’s mind, but it’s gone so quickly it might as well have stayed obscured, he thinks in light resentment.

“Sorry, Your Majesty,” is what he says, but his grip hasn’t yet slackened.

The king doesn’t respond for a concerningly long time, staring at Natori for so long, and in such a sour manner that speaks of stewing rumination, that the other cat finds himself feeling distantly nervous. Yet, ultimately, he seems to decide against speaking entirely, gently prying Natori’s paws away and back into the air beside them (the other resting quite naturally along the king’s arm).

Without another word on the matter, he compels the two of them to start the dance all over again. And Natori lets him. After a lengthy minute of this loaded silence, the king’s gaze distant from morose thought and Natori’s eyes averted elsewhere, Claudius finally speaks up again.

“So, the sun went to bug the water about the situation. What was the water’s excuse?”

Natori appears surprised, but duly grateful, to be given this escape from the awkward energy that now smolders between them. Given time and distraction, it will die back down again, as it always does. He clears his throat.

“The water’s excuse— y-yes. The water... expressed their sincerest apologies, but explained also that the sun’s house was not big enough for them and all their people to visit, and to do so without heeding that fact would be to drive the sun from his own home. ‘If you do so truly wish for me to visit, then you must build a house large enough to hold me,’ in the water’s own words. But, they warned also, it must be quite substantial, as the water was immense and their people were many.”

“Sounds like too much work if you ask me. Might as well just keep the same old setup.” Seems the king is still feeling a touch cross.

“To travel a great distance, and to always be the one to make that trip, might prove tiring after so many times, as well, sire. Don’t you think?”

The Cat King frowns, more pensive deliberation, but this time he speaks up. “...I don’t think it would.” Then, in a lighter, more promising manner, “He’s gonna do it, though, isn’t he? The sun?”

Natori nods once with a permissive blink.

“Indeed. The sun agreed to the challenge and waved off his friend’s warnings.”

“Think I see where this is going, babe,” the king says lowly as they spin lazy circles across the balcony.

Natori laughs again. “It’s not quite a mystery epic, is it?”

“Alright, so how does the sun mess this up?”

“Well. The sun built himself an enormously vast house. There’s no telling how long it took him. But when it stood finally finished, he invited the water to tea and waited. And when the water arrived, one of their people called up to the sun— ‘We are here! Is there room for us all?’ Of course, the sun, being the passionate host he was, again told his friend not to worry and invited them in.”

The king snorts. “Here we go.”

Natori smiles. His eyes are still closed. The king thinks he looks oddly content like that. He scarcely remembers the frustrated betrayal he’d been afflicted with just moments earlier, and the abrupt, brisk spin he’d been on the verge of executing also fades before it’d even legitimately formulated.

“The water began to flow in, of course, and with them, all the creatures of the seas and the rivers and the lakes. It didn’t take long, now, for the water to fill the sun’s great house to a depth that would easily surge far over a cat’s head.”

“And the sun just let it keep happening without a word, I’m guessing.”

“He didn’t know any better,” Natori attempts to clarify, eyes opening now to fix his companion with a rueful look, one side of his muzzle quirked so that he looks vaguely hapless. “His assumptions were woefully imprecise because of it. It’s a misfortune.”

“Hmm. Up for another spin, babe? They’re my favorite part.”

Natori’s startled confusion is evident, but the sudden change in subject registers soon enough. Something else lingers, though, echoes of a rapt surprise.

“I don’t mind, sire.”

“Good, ‘cause I was gonna do it no matter what, heh.”

“Hm. I appreciate the considerate word of warning, then.” Spoken dryly, but it lacks the exasperation the Cat King had been expecting.

Natori is clearly preparing for the breakneck whirlwinds he’d endured earlier in their ‘lesson’, but it’s not what he receives— the king is sure of that this time. The music which had begun as an overtly intimate, if not downright romantic, waltz now boasts a noticeable bounce and pep in its tempo, and to himself Natori gives some silent thanks for the shift. This soft, slow dance would be quite hard to justify were he still hearing those faint notes of sweetness from the barely-open door.

He’s struggling already to justify the warmth of his companion’s paw, again settled loosely at his waist, and the perfect fit of the king’s other paw which folds mildly, tenderly, over his own— all have been present for some time now, since they began their so-called waltz, yet Natori is only just now noticing them.

Staring up at the sun-streaked sky of their kingdom, swaying idly side to side under the king’s lead, he continues then, unprompted. “...To the water’s credit, they did ask for reassurance that the situation was still acceptable time and time again. But even by the time the house was crowded with so much of the water and their people that he was forced to sit on the roof of his own home, the sun refused to withdraw his invitation.”

“Why would he do that?” The king sounds baffled.

“I don’t know,” Natori admits. Then, gently, thoughtfully, “...I suppose if one truly wants something, and has their heart set on it, they might be quite amenable to bearing more hardship for it than others might feel is strictly necessary or appropriate…”

The king doesn’t respond to that, and Natori feels perhaps rather oddly like he’s crossed too far over an invisible line, and nervously, resolutely, says no more. What had been a companionable air now lies stretched too thin over the pair, teeming with uneasiness. Eventually, the king does speak up again, and his voice is too low for Natori to discern his mood with any measure of accuracy.

“Gonna take a stab at guessing the ending to this one, babe.”

“...please do, sire.” It’s a near whisper.

“The sun never told his friend ‘no, that’s enough’, so the water never stopped, and the house flooded so much the sun had nowhere left to sit. So he went up into the sky and never came back down. And I guess never did speak up, either.”

Natori smiles, weakly. “You guessed it.”

“The water, too, never put two and two together, huh..? I’m not the most sensitive of the bunch, but I think even I’d know something was up by the time a friend of mine had to hang around in the sky because I was taking up too much space.” The king snorts.

“Do you?” Natori’s voice remains faint, timid, even; he feels still like he stands at the edge of a great crevice, and he’s not yet sure what lies at the bottom. The king seems also surprisingly fazed or rattled by the further, simple question.

Gently, so much so Natori almost doesn’t notice, he rests his chin on his companion’s shoulder.

“...well. Maybe not,” he eventually says, nonplussed.

They lapse into another silence, then, one that doesn’t quite recapture their earlier easy comfort, but neither does it feel intrinsically charged, either. Natori finally turns his gaze from the unchanging sky to their other surroundings. They’ve been out here together, away from the other guests, for some time now. He’s surprised no one else has come searching for the two of them yet.

He’s just about to echo the king’s movement and lay his head down when the other cat suddenly speaks up again.

“I’ll tell you one thing I do notice, babe.”

“Mm? What’s that?”

“When someone who obviously knows how to dance says they can’t.”

[ and here we see that i ran out of steam before writing the ending rip natori admits he already knew the steps to the dances, the cat king has long since come to the conclusion that natori lied in order to have this long dance together (also briefly joking that natori clearly just wanted a romantic moment, which natori will vehemently deny) and that it speaks to a kind of comforting Idea that natori knows him Very Well, being aware that the easiest way to cheer him up would have been to Make Him Feel Smart ]

#the cat returns #this honestly feels like it's All Over The Place but i'm so out of steam i'm sorry lies down

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mychemicalxmen · 4 years

Text

Unfinished Business

hey so I find crt’s recent interactions with the tua fandom to be sus as hell and it got me thinking about the most plausible way I could see him comin back in s3 and the conclusion I came to is a way-shorter and way-simpler version of whatever the hell this is so uhhhh here

2.9k, klave/klave-adjacent

... ... ...

“Is this really a good idea?”

Allison’s words are gentle as she stands in the doorway of Klaus’s room. Well, not his room, per se, but the grey-walled, undecorated space that would’ve been his bedroom in a timeline gone by. The Sparrow Academy doesn’t seem to be a huge fan of homey-ness. They’d ever-so-kindly granted the Umbrellas two nights’ stay in these cold cells while they gathered their bearings and prepared to face the new world they’d fantastically screwed up.

Klaus smiles at her question. “That’s hardly stopped me before, right?”

Allison rolls her eyes and drops her hands onto her hips. “I’m worried about you, okay?”

“Don’t be,” Klaus answers with a swatting gesture. “It’s been easy-peasy since I’ve dropped the pills. Parlor tricks. Did this song and dance tons of times for Madame.”

“Also, we need to unpack your relationship to ‘Madame’ at your earliest convenience.”

Klaus raises an eyebrow mischievously. “What happens in Dallas...!”

Allison sighs. “Okay, well, if things start to get, y’know, mega-spooky panic-time, you’ll just yell, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.”

“Hey.” Allison’s voice is suddenly calmer. Klaus’s gaze snaps up to meet hers. “You’re sure about this?”

Klaus lets himself breathe for a moment. Tension fights to seize his limbs. He’s really about to do it.

His first six months of sobriety were the absolute nightmare that he knew they would be. They were all the sleepless nights, trembling hands, emotional eruptions, and torturous visions that he’d predicted.

But at some point, his powers became less like a stubborn faucet, run by an on/off switch with not much in between. With time (and Ben’s encouragement), he’d come to better understand his link to the other side. He’d learned how to cut and re-engage the connection at will, how to find faces in the crowd, how to call one forth, and how to sleep peacefully.

Most nights.

“I’m sure,” he says solidly.

He checks himself over, tugging his brightly striped shirt into place, tucking in his dog tag, and running a hand through the hair he’d half-considered chopping off the second he made it home. When he looks back up at Allison, he‘s feeling a bit less brave. “Do I look alright?”

Allison nods with a little grin. “You look great.” God, he wishes they’d reconnected far before this Dallas fiasco. She just cares so much. “Good luck,” she says.

“Love you, sis.” He blows her a lazy kiss as she leaves and closes the door behind her.

He paces around the room, steeling himself for the process. Like he said, it’s no big deal. Easy peasy. Even with that hiccup with alcohol, he’s clean enough to pull it off. He shakes out the last of his nerves with a couple tiny hops before settling in the middle of the room.

He stands firmly, feet apart, and drops his head. He squeezes his fists and lets the energy start to crackle between his fingers.

With all the insanity of this timeline, he needs to know what happened in 1968. He needs to see Dave.

It’s tougher to contact someone not already in the room. He focuses everything he has, and the energy pulses faster and stronger. Come on, come on…

“Klaus?”

He looks up with a start.

There he is, standing four feet in front of him. Those torn-up fatigues. Those searching blue eyes. That curly mess of blonde hair he hasn’t seen for three years.

Dave.

Klaus can’t keep the dumb smile off of his face.

“Hey there, soldier,” he practically whispers.

“Hey yourself,” Dave says - happy, though clearly disoriented. “Guess you weren’t making up all that ‘future’ junk after all.”

Klaus’s affirmative laugh is airy. But when his eyes trail down to the cavity in Dave’s chest, his heart aches in regret.

His jaw aches too. What a week it’s been.

“I have... so much to ask you,” Dave goes on. “It’s been a long time.”

Klaus swallows. Here goes. The million dollar question.

“Uh… How long of a time, exactly?”

He unconsciously holds his breath.

Dave glances to the side. “...Right around when JFK was shot. Must’ve been ‘63?”

Klaus exhales and sits on the bed, face blank.

Dave is wincing at his own memories. “God, I was such a dumb kid, I’m so sorry that you—”

Klaus isn’t hearing him. He’s too caught up on that number. 63.

If the Umbrella Academy doesn’t exist, Klaus Hargreeves doesn’t grow up in the same home as Five Hargreeves. He doesn’t get kidnapped by assassins. He doesn’t get his hands on a briefcase. He doesn’t go to Vietnam.

If the Umbrella Academy doesn’t exist, neither does the Dave that fell in love with him.

His Dave is gone. Really gone.

This Dave was the timid hardware store employee he’d tried to get through to, striving to save his life and instead locking in his fate a few days early. This Dave is still the same person as the other one was. Same upbringing, same interests, same compassion, same smile, same violent death. But...

“—a strange time for anyone. You know how it is.”

Klaus tunes back in to Dave apologizing for his cringey adolescence. “No, no, yeah, I get it, don’t worry about it.”

In the pause that follows, Klaus feels his throat tighten and hot tears threaten to drop down his face.

Within the same pause, Klaus realizes the obvious. Dave is a ghost.

Kiddos and grandmas, or anyone who’s achieved either nothing or everything that their life had to offer them, they get the window to move on right away. One-way ticket to the Great Beyond, or the next life, or whatever the hell it is. Ultimate FastPass, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200. Klaus has learned that spirits don’t tend to stick around on earth unless they have unfinished business. Sometimes they don’t even know what they need to do to start fresh, and that’s always the worst. Those souls become the bitterest, the loudest, the most tortured. Those were the ones who gave him hell in the mausoleum, with question after question that he couldn’t even begin to answer.

Dave seems to have managed okay. Probably spends a lot of time watching over his friends, his sisters, his neighbor’s cat. Klaus wonders what he could possibly have left to do.

“Major case of unfinished business you got there, huh?” Klaus asks. “Been waiting around, what, fifty years?”

Dave squints. “Well, it’s hard to feel it. Time works a little funny over here.”

“Right, of course it does,” Klaus recalls stupidly. He sniffles and swipes a hand under his eye as nonchalantly as he can. “Ah. Any idea what the little brat is waiting for you to do?”

Dave gives a tentative chuckle. “Brat?”

“Oh, Big G, the almighty, you know,” Klaus clarifies. “The bitch on the bike. I met Her once or twice. We’re not too chummy.”

Dave shows startlement, then shakes his head, acknowledging that this information should hardly faze him at this point. “Um. Yeah. Don’t know what She wants yet. Though She’s actually a cowgirl for me.”

“Of course She is.”

And that’s the idiotic comment that causes Klaus’s voice to crack.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Dave asks. He hazards a few steps closer.

Dammit, dammit, dammit.

“No... Nothing,” Klaus stammers. He briefly covers his face and lets out a groan. “Ughhh, it’s going to sound crazy.”

“Really think you can beat ‘Time-Traveling Cult Leader with Prophetic Dog Tags and Tidings of Death’?”

“It wasn’t a cult,” Klaus mumbles in futility. He drops his hands and gives it his best shot. “The first time I met you - first time I met Dave - was in a totally different timeline, in 1968. That’s how I knew all that stuff about you. And you died the same way, except I was there the first time. The other time. The same time?”

“You and ...’Other Dave’.... fought together,” Dave offers.

“Yes!” Klaus confirms, relieved that he’s making sense. “Yeah, exactly. Which is why I tried to stop him - you - from going.” He indicates Dave’s abdomen. “And, obviously, I failed. But because of some stuff my family screwed up along the way, you never fought with me, so I remember a lot more than you do, and it’s all just...” He gestures helplessly. “A real kick in the dick.”

Dave tilts his head in a mix of sympathy and confusion. “That... does sound pretty crap.”

Klaus doesn’t expect it when Dave sits next to him on his bed.

“You want to tell me what I missed?”

“Oh, no, no, no, Dave, you don’t want that. That’s a long story.”

Dave shrugs. “I’ve got some time to kill.”

Klaus manages a smile. Talking will keep him from crying.

He tries his best to tell everything chronologically, but almost every step of the beginning requires some Hargreeves Family Lore that he reluctantly recaps as efficiently as possible. Dave is an exceptional listener. Always has been. He lets Klaus ramble on and on and asks little questions now and again to get a clearer picture. Klaus appreciates Dave’s effort to form a coherent narrative out of the scattered snapshots that time has left him with.

Klaus stumbles with pronouns. He makes a point to refer to His Dave with “him” as opposed to “you”, but he can’t help but slip a few times in the middle. Dave seems to understand.

Klaus tells him about the day they met. He waters down the Time Police part of the tale and focuses on what came after. Dropping into the tent at dawn. The casual conversation on the bus. The strange instinct that he got to stick around for a few days.

He tells him about soldiering. He tells Dave how focused and respected he looked on the battlefield. But he also tells him how kind he was to new recruits.

He tells him about their first R&R together in Saigon. He tells him about the vibrant bar and the strangest music and the secluded back hallway.

He tells him about the nights in the jungle they’d stayed up and dreamed up plans for when they’d go home together. He tells him about the day those plans fell apart. When Klaus runs out of story to tell, he just stops. Dave looks at him thoughtfully. Klaus can only imagine what must be running through his head. He knows it’s not judgement, or embarrassment, or anger, or loathing. Dave is too sweet for any of that.

Dave is too good for the rotten fortune that found him, time and time again.

“I’m sorry,” Klaus says.

“For what?”

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t save him,” Klaus answers. He fumbles again. “You. Him? Young Dave?”

“I’m getting a headache keeping track of it myself,” Dave admits.

“You,” Klaus settles on. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

Dave looks into him for a breath. Then, he reaches out and touches his arm. Klaus wants to dissolve into dust.

“I think I understand why I loved you,” Dave says.

A bittersweet laugh tumbles ungracefully from Klaus’s mouth. He tries not to draw attention to the new round of tears that spills over with it. “You do?”

“Yeah. I do.” Dave gives him the gentlest smile. “You shouldn’t be sorry. You tried so hard. I could’ve had more courage, fought back, ran away, something, but I just... wasn’t ready.” He glances down. “And I wasn’t going to be.”

Klaus’s hand closes over Dave’s on his arm.

“But I always remembered you,” Dave adds. “I always thought you were brave.”

“Goddamn, I was convinced I’d pushed your Big Awakening back a good two months, at least.”

“Far from,” Dave assures. His eyes crinkle with the flash of a memory. “I’m... not sure if I should tell you this.”

Klaus cocked his head. “Well, shit, Davey, now you have to.”

“I’m assuming Other Me told you something about Bill, right? Met in junior year, moved to Austin after school, always a bit of suspicion there...”

“Yeah?”

Dave’s face reddens slightly. “I mean, it wasn’t anything serious, but there were a few weeks when I was home, before this last tour...”

Klaus’s eyes widen. This was not an event on his timeline. He mocks outrage and pushes Dave’s hand away. “David Joseph Katz—!”

“The point is,” Dave poorly stifles a laugh, “I had hope. That it was gonna be alright, and that after this round, I’d be back in America for good, and I’d find my place.”

Hope.

Klaus supposes hope is nice. It’s just not terribly helpful with the way things panned out. In the world where Dave still didn’t make it home. In the world where he’s stuck here, waiting for a way to move on. In the world where he’s still around to see how little good that hope did him. And frustration starts to churn Klaus’s stomach, even though he knows...

“...This really wasn’t your fault,” Dave says, reading him just as perfectly as he could in ‘68.

Klaus hadn’t noticed how long he’d fallen silent for. “I know,” he mumbles, and logically, he does. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. There had to be a timeline out there where everything ended up alright, where him and Dave lived happily together just like they’d talked about, but he is never going to find it now.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “And I still love him. Christ, he made one of the deadliest shitshows in American history the only place I wanted to be. He made me the happiest that I’ve been in a long, long time. He made me feel so treasured. So... strong.”

When the tears return a third time, he stops trying to hide them. He carelessly wipes the heel of his palm across his cheek.

“I wanted to tell him all that,” he finishes. “He gave me something so special that I don’t think I’ll get again.”

A sob escapes Klaus. Dave patiently waits for him to work it out.

“I know I’m not him,” Dave starts, “But for what it’s worth, I think he’d know you still love him. I think it’d destroy him to be apart from you. But I don’t think he’d want you to destroy yourself.”

Klaus knows the spiel that’s coming, and so badly does he want to dismiss it all as disgusting cliche. But he also knows Dave’s sappy tendencies well enough to know that, in this case, it’s probably accurate. Hell, he’s hearing it from the man himself.

“If you couldn’t get back to him, I think he’d just want to know you were happy,” Dave says. “You know? That you kept moving and kept taking care of yourself. And kept looking for the kind of love you deserve.”

Dave shifts to face him more directly. His eyes are bright with intention. “You have so much life left in you. You deserve a new chapter.”

Klaus feels beaten and weary all over. His mind is finally slowing down to the present.

When Dave subtly opens up his arms, he eagerly takes the offer to wrap him in an embrace.

This is the last he’ll see of him. He can feel it. He tucks his chin over Dave’s shoulder and clings onto the fabric of his vest, eyes shut, trying to commit every sensation to memory.

Dave returns, lightly weaving his hand into Klaus’s hair. Klaus recalls with a weak grin that he knew Dave would be fond of the new length.

It’s safe and sacred and almost everything that he’d planned for on that day he’d desperately wandered the mansion halls, calling out for any help he could get, twisting a bundle of rope in his quaking hands.

He hears a whisper of a wind chime.

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit,” Dave mutters.

The blue glow pierces through Klaus’s eyelids. He pulls back to look at Dave.

He’s crumbling apart, piece by piece, and drifting away. Bright light speckles the entire room.

“Klaus?” Dave asks. His voice is soft but threaded with slight fear. “Is this...?”

“Yeah, it is,” he answers. He tightens his grip on Dave’s arms. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For letting me say goodbye.”

A beat passes. Then, understanding washes over Dave’s face. He pulls Klaus close once again, stroking his hair.

He presses a kiss onto Klaus’s forehead.

Klaus doesn’t watch him go. He only opens his eyes when his arms are at last empty.

Specks of glittering blue light still float through the air. Nothing else remains but the wrinkle on the bedspread where he was sitting. Klaus’s face still feels warm where his lips were placed just moments ago.

Klaus buries his head in his hands. “Allison,” He calls out. The sound is pathetic. He clears his throat and tries again. “Allie?”

He hears her heeled boots click down the hall. He can’t bring himself to look up when she opens the door. “You okay?”

“It’s over,” he summarizes.

“What do you need?”

A joint. A fist full of pills. Five shots of tequila. A good sock in the head so he can go back to that pre-Technicolor hellscape and tell that bitch on the bike what he really thinks of Her.

“Can you just sit with me for a minute, please?”

Allison closes the door and obliges.

They talk, slowly and softly, about absolutely nothing at all, while Allison smooths her hand against Klaus’s back. They stare at the cold tile floors together for a long time. Klaus asks if it would kill the Sparrows to hire an interior decorator.

#no beta we die like carl #tua #klave #the umbrella academy

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autisticsidesau · 4 years

Note

I just wanted to say that as an autistic person, I've really enjoyed reading through this blog, and getting to see one of my special interests (sanders sides) shown as autistic characters made me really happy, I stimmed a whole bunch while I was reading!!!! also, if its okay, can we see more of Logan and Virgil's friendship???

Aww ty!! ts sides is also a big special interest of mine, and autism is awesome so hell yeah. Super glad you’re enjoying it. And hell yeah!! Stim!! ~Remiel

I’m glad you like this blog and it made you happy stim!!! TS sides is my main Special Interest (some side ones are Try Guys, fashion history, and neuroscience) and I personally love seeing autism rep in the fandom too!! It’s cool to see characters like me!! -Max

TW: meltdown, losing a comfort item temporarily, routine change

So The Whole Gang decides to go to an outdoor mall one day as a group

They prefer the outdoor mall because it has more space and the open area means sounds and smells aren’t as trapped so it’s generally less overwhelming

Throughout the day they end up in smaller groups

And eventually Virgil and Logan are left as a pair wandering through different sections of the mall and generally being stupid teenagers just enjoying life

(Virgil wanted to stay in Hot Topic and Logan wasn’t opposed and that’s how they got separated from everybody else)

Eventually they get the text from Roman that everyone’s gonna regroup at the front of the mall

As they walk to the front of the mall, Virgil realizes, somethings is very very wrong

But they don't know what

So Logan goes grabs his tablet and pulls up virgil’s checklist and they run through it

(Virgil’s checklist is essentially: when was the last time you: ate, drank, used the bathroom? Are you overwhelmed? Is it too loud, bright, smelly, etc? Do you have everything you need?

And it’s when they get to this last point that it clicks

Virgil doesn’t have their hoodie

Which immediately causes them to Panic Big Time

Logan helps to calm Virgil down saying they didn’t go many places it’s probably in one of the few stores they went to

Logan leads Virgil through some breathing exercises and has Virgil wear their headphones b/c they get overwhelmed easier when they’re anxious

So they go through all the stores and Logan uses his tablet to ask the store workers if they’ve seen Virgil’s jacket and shows them a photo

After searching all the stores they went to, Virgil and Logan decide to meet up with the rest of the group who is now Concerned b/c Virgil and Logan are late and have not responded to any texts or calls

Eventually they walk up to the rest of the group and Dee turns to see his brother shaking and crying and bordering on a meltdown with headphones and no jacket???

And Dee immediately rushes to comfort his brother and then tells the rest of the group to go without them and that their moms are gonna come pick them up

Logan gives Dee Virgil’s backpack as Dee calls their moms

So everyone leaves and Dee and Virgil get picked up

Virgil’s pretty unresponsive for the evening and goes to bed really early that night

It’s the next morning when everything really comes crashing down

Virgil gets up and starts their morning routine

Shower. Dressed. Grab breakfast. Brush teeth. Grab backpack. Grab jacket. Go to school.

Wait where’s their jacket?

And now Virgil remembers and this isn’t okay because this is their comfort object it makes them feel safe and it’s part of their routine and now it’s lost

It’s lost

And Virgil‘s trying to hold it together. They’re trying

But this is their comfort object and they might never ever see it again

It’s no wonder they have a meltdown

And Oh Boy it is a really bad meltdown

And because it’s a really bad meltdown it’s a very draining meltdown

And Virgil is in no shape to go to school

Dee wanted to stay and help for as long as possible but eventually he and Janet had to leave while Lindsey stayed with Virgil for a bit

Being a lawyer she has a lot more schedule flexibility and is able to stay home with her kid

They spend the day in the sensory room together, Lindsey works on paperwork while Virgil watches movies and is nonverbal the whole day

Eventually they feel well enough to text their friends that they’re ok they just had a really bad meltdown and couldn’t go to school

Logan responds offering to come over and help Virgil with their homework

Virgil shows the text to his mom and Lindsey allows it

So Logan comes over and hangs out with Virgil and helps them with homework

Logan comes into the sensory room to find Virgil in a weighted blanket burrito with their mom on her laptop next to them

Logan settles down next to Virgil and sees Virgil’s spider stuffie which he promptly puts on Virgil’s head because he knows it’s another of Virgil’s comfort items

This gets a happy face and happy hum from Virgil

Virgil starts rocking as Logan explains the math from today

Then Virgil’s phone starts ringing

And the noise of the phone is instantly overwhelming to Virgil

Their rocking turns more frantic but they dig around in the blanket burrito for their phone before practically throwing it at Logan

Logan looks down and recognizes their area code.

Logan: “Do you want me to answer it?”

Virgil nods so Logan turns down the volume slightly and answers it

The person from the other side of the call is someone who works at the mall

And asks if this is “Virgil” and that they have their jacket.

Logan gets the location and information and hangs up

Virgil is very overwhelmed so they’re not listening and processing at all.

Logan tells Virgil and their mom they got their jacket and Virgil is unresponsive

Virgil’s mom lets Virgil know that she’s going to go pick up their jacket and then leaves

Virgil’s still unresponsive so Logan just hangs with them why they wait for their mom

Eventually Dee and and Janet get home and they find that Lindsey’s gone and Logan’s here and Virgil is unresponsive

Logan quickly fills them in whilst Virgil is going to town on their bat chew in the background

Dee joins them in the sensory room and sits down and opens his homework

He and Logan get distracted and have a discussion about science philosophy quietly

Dee checks on his brother every couple minutes tho

This gets small slow nods from Virgil

Who is stimming a lot

Eventually the garage opens and Virgil slams their hands over their ears because L O U D

Dee grabs Virgil’s headphones as quick as possible and puts them on his brothers ears

Soon after, Lindsey slowly and quietly enters the room and hands Virgil their jacket

Virgil is stimming even harder now and starts crying and making many noises that are good and bad

Eventually they figure out virgil’s having a shutdown

Lindsey quickly grabs Virgil’s PECS board and emotions binder and leaves the room to give her child some space

Because there were a lot of people in that room near Virgil and that was Not Helping

Eventually Virgil comes back around and signs “thank you” over and over again

They happy stim a lot and shake their head

And Logan and dee are smiling as virgil tries to put on the jacket whilst happy stimming

Logan stays for the rest of the afternoon and for dinner

Around 7 Emile arrives to pick Logan up and Virgil feels well enough to walk logan to the door and when they step outside Virgil quietly says “Thank you”

Logan: “No problem Virgil, i’m glad we were able to find your jacket.”

Virgil hums and flaps their hands as Logan says this

Virgil: “I’m glad it wasn’t lost. But I meant thanks for staying with me and helping me communicate. To the store clerks and on the phone, i know how frustrating it can be for you.”

Logan: “You’re very welcome. I understand how important comfort items and routine can be. I- I don’t want you to be upset.”

Which is admitting a lot of Logan, because while Logan is a very caring friend, it’s not often he’ll straight admit to caring for others

Virgil: “You’re a really good friend Logan”

Logan takes the compliment, but doesn’t seem to happy about it

Virgil signs “ILY”

Logan pauses for a moment before signing “Same”

Which is a big deal for Logan

They both flap their hands a bit and Virgil watches logan get into Emile’s car and drive off and waves as logan drives away and doesn’t stop waving until they can’t see the car anymore

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bagledere · 3 years

Text

Thank you for the tag @venueska ily 🥺 even tho tumblr says I’m not allowed to see notifs

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

My friends all get first name privileges otherwise I usually go by Bagel (or more recently John). I’m not opposed to pet names for close friends either. As long as I know ur talking to my odds are I’ll probably answer to it (;

2. when is your birthday?

January 16th!

3. where do you live?

A state of constant despair 😔 jk I’m from Colorado

4. three things you are doing right now?

Watching a game show, eating a graham cracker, and thinking about what we’re gonna have for dinner

5. four fandoms that have peaked your interest?

I rarely get into fandoms of my own volition, most of the time it’s because I have a friend or two hype something up and then I’ll get into it. Right now I’m dipping my toe in the A3 and Ikemen fandoms. I’ve been into the wayhaven chronicles for a little longer but I also like to lurk in fandoms as opposed to actively participating. I’m usually not into Kpop but I like mamamoo a lot.

6. how has the pandemic been treating you?

Pretty well I’d say. I was struggling for awhile because I wasn’t used to the isolation but honestly, I’m at a point where I’m ready to move forward. I’m out of a toxic relationship, I have plans for creating a game in the future, I’m going off to college soon...I’m pretty excited to see what’s coming

7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now?

Forgetting all about you by Phoebe Ryan! This song is generally how I’ve been handling my breakup minus all the drugs 😌. I thought I’d be sadder tbh but honestly? Lowkey having the time of my life

8. recommend a movie.

I mostly watch horror movies lol. the taking of Deborah Logan fucking haunts me so if you wanna be scarred for life by all means! I also recommend the autopsy of Jane Doe. It has one of the best atmospheres I’ve ever seen although the end was p anticlimactic

9. how old are you?

Less than a month from being 18 :D

10. school, university, occupation, other?

I’m about to graduate from high school and I’m also supposed to graduate with my associates from my local community college! This means I’ll be heading into my junior year when I go off to university

11. do you prefer hot or cold?

I prefer being cold generally. I do like hot food tho

12. name one fact others might not know about you

I can speak French!

13. are you shy?

Not really. I’m pretty reserved when first meeting someone new but that lasts for like two minutes tops lmao

14. your pronouns?

She/her or they/them!

15. biggest pet peeves?

Leaving seconds on the microwave, backseat drivers, people who can’t be honest, lowkey im annoyed by a lot lol

16. what is your favorite “dere” type?

I have a soft spot for tsunderes, as u can tell by my blog title

17. rate your life from 1-10

I’d say a solid 7/10. Could be better could be worse

18. what’s your main blog?

This one

19. list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

No I’m too embarrassed ❤️

20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

Hmm don’t think so! I’m nice I promise so never be afraid to say hello

I’m tagging @bellarxse @bubblelaureno and @richhdesire

#long post #mecore

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junmyeoneyesmile · 4 years

Text

you can’t stop the flood - part 1

summary:

en·e·my

/ˈenəmē/

noun

a person who is actively opposed or hostile to someone or something.

irene never thought one day she would live on the enemy’s side - but when a mission goes wrong and everything turns upside down, she wonders what she had been fighting for.

(or, the one which x-exo’s scientist irene falls in love with exo’s leader, junmyeon.)

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

genre: obsession AU, EXO vs X-EXO, romance, slow burn, angst (with a happy ending?), fluff (maybe if you squint), smut (be patient, tho)

relationships: irene/junmyeon, past irene/sehůn, implied chanyeøl/wendy, side baekhyun/chanyeol, one sided taeyeon/baekhyun.

length: three shot

chapter word count: 6.420

author’s notes: OK. this is the first fic I decided to post, because there’s not enough x-exo fics in this fandom. I just love the obsession universe, and this idea kept messing with my mind. so, here it is. I think everybody will be familiar with exo and x-exo’s visuals, but for the sake of your imagination I should say irene and wendy both have bad boy era’s look. for now, I guess that’s it. enjoy~

The explosions were so loud that her ears hurt.

“Joohyun!”

The voices calling her name were getting more distant, even when she tried to concentrate on them. The cloud of dust in the air was making it hard for her to see anything.

“Joohyun!”

“Mom, dad! Where are you?”

She ran, trying to find her way, but her legs caught on a loose leg of a table, and she fell. The rocks on the floor scratched her skin, and the dust collecting in her eyes and nose made her tear up.

“Joohyun!”

This time, the voice sounded closer, and she sobbed, feeling all the strength leave her body.

“Mom!”

The familiar figure approached her, wrapping her arms around Joohyun - the smell and warmth so intimate to her. Joohyun cried harder, and soft hands brushed the hair from her face.

“It’s ok, darling. It will be ok. But you have to leave here now.”

“Where’s dad?”

The woman's expression faltered for a second, and she knew – she knew – that something was wrong.

“He’s over there. I’ll help him, but you need to leave here now, Joohyun.”

“Mom...”

“Go.”

The girl shook her head, tears staining her cheeks.

“I can’t go without you.”

The woman held her shoulders, serious.

“Listen to me, Joohyun. You are capable. You’re so much more capable than you imagine. So you just have to keep going. Keep going, no matter what happens.”

Joohyun sobbed, and the woman held her tightly.

“We love you, my darling.” she said, before helping her to get up, cleaning the dust from her arms. “Now go. Go, Joohyun.”

So she ran. She kept running, even when she was outside of the house. Even when her legs burned with the effort. Even when she heard the explosion that destroyed everything that was behind her.

-----------------------------

“Irene. Hey, wake up.”

Irene opened her eyes at once, but the room was so bright she had to blink sometimes until she got used to it.

“What time is it?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

“It’s past 2AM.”

She frowned, sitting on the bed.

“Did something happen?”

Wendy nodded, already in her white dress uniform, tying her hair back in a low ponytail.

“We need to go to the lab.”

If she was going to be honest, Irene didn’t know why she asked that. It was already a pretty common thing to wake up in the middle of the night because of stuff like this.

Sighing, Irene got up. She dresses her uniform and ties her hair back, before leaving with Wendy to the halls.

“Did someone come to tell you that?”

“Of course not. You know they always come to you.” Wendy said, like it was something obvious. “But I went to drink water, and Suhø found me in the hall. So he just told me, because he knew it would be faster”

“There was no one else with him?”

“No. But Sehůn and Kāi are already in the lab.”

Again, Irene sighed. Of course.

When they got to the lab, there was the sound of enthusiastic conversation. Sehůn and Kāi were discussing something, sitting on stretchers next to each other, while Suhø was looking at his reflex in the window.

“Oh, look who’s here.” Kāi said, seeing them enter the room. He had a cut on the side of his stomach, exposed by his cropped top. “I’m sorry, did we interrupt your beauty sleep again?”

Irene ignored him, looking at Suhø.

“What happened?”

“These brats can’t keep themselves on the line, that’s what happened.”

“Hey” Kāi interrupted “You were there, too.”

“To save your ass, apparently.”

Kāi gave a sadistic half smile.

“Everything would’ve went fine if Chën made a better use of all those cameras and drones then watching porn.” Sehůn said, and Irene looked at him. His pants were torn on the thigh, there was blood still dripping and staining the white fabric of the stretcher.

A voice echoed in the speakers of the lab.

“Don’t blame me for your mistakes, Sehůnie. I told you they were coming, but the both of you were too focused on yourselves to pay attention.”

Sehůn rolled his eyes, and Irene turned to Suhø again.

“You seem fine.” She stated, looking at him. He didn’t seem to have any serious injuries beside some blood stains and scratches on his face.

“Yes, I’m fine.” He said, before continuing. “I only stayed here to make sure those idiots wouldn’t do anything stupid for the rest of the night. I can trust you with that now, right?”

Irene didn’t respond, but it wasn’t like Suhø needed an answer anyway.

“But I do want some of the serum for scars you made.”

Irene nodded, going to her table to get a bottle.

“All you care about is your face, right?” Kāi provoked, but Suhø ignored him, taking the bottle. “Don’t come with us again if all you’re going to do is watch!” he continued, while the leader of the group left the room.

Wendy and Irene looked at each other before moving to get what they needed to work. When Irene finished, she turned, only to see Wendy already in Kāi’s stretcher – which left her with no other option than going to Sehůn’s.

She got closer to him, starting by cutting the rest of the fabric that was already torn in his thigh with a scissor, to have more space to work. She could feel the weight of his stare on her.

“Why do you keep doing this?” she asked, not looking away from what she was doing.

Sehůn raised the corner of his lips.

“That’s our job, isn’t it?”

“Your job is to go on official missions, planned ones. Not to leave in the middle of the night when you feel like it.”

“But it’s so much fun, to terrorize everyone in the middle of the night.”

Irene stared at him.

“Everything would’ve gone fine, if Baekhyun didn’t come to us. He was too fast for me,” Sehůn raised his voice. “but I have no excuses for Kāi.”

“I was-” He hissed when Wendy applied something on his cut. “My beautiful original was distracting me.”

Irene shook her head. She already had applied one of the serums to stop the blood, and was cleaning the cut to suture it.

“Chën is right, you know.” she told him. “You guys are easily distracted, and that’s why they’re always a step ahead.”

“You know that’s not true in a one on one combat.”

“Yes. But I don’t think you’ll have that opportunity, Sehůn.”

He stayed in silence, and Irene was grateful for that. She was really too tired to have that discussion now.

Wendy finished first, since Kāi’s cut wasn’t too deep. The boy left as soon as it was finished, and the girl walked away to clean and store what she was using before.

Irene took her time, and finished a little later, applying a serum that she had formulated to accelerate the process of healing. Even though she knew Sehůn and Kāi would still have those scars – cause cuts from Baekhyun’s sword always left marks. Until now, she still hadn’t been able to make a formula that would erase Sehůn’s eye scar.

“It’s done.” she told him. “You can feel some pain through the night, but tomorrow morning it’s going to be completely gone.” Irene got up to leave, but Sehůn held her wrist.

She turned, looking at him.

“I want to talk to you, Irene.”

She kept her expression neutral.

“Then do.”

Sehůn caressed her skin with his thumb, and Irene looked at her hand.

“Not here.” he continued, his voice a tone lower.

Irene knew the last thing Sehůn was going to do was talk, if they left the place.

Slowly, she took her hand away.

“I have to fill these forms, Sehůn.” she said, already getting away from him. “Come here in the morning to have that wound checked.”

Irene didn’t look at him again, getting a file that had CASE 94 in the cover. Seconds later, she and Wendy heard the door slam with a wind that definitely didn’t come from the window.

Irene closed her eyes for a second, before continuing to look at the files.

“Why do you do this to him?” Wendy asked, breaking the silence. “It’s obvious he’s still into you.”

“He’s not into me. And we’re not supposed to get involved with the subjects anyways.”

“Ah, come on.” Wendy leaned against her table, crossing her arms. “You two are way past the getting involved phase already.”

Irene took a pen, starting to fill the forms from that night.

“Sehůn has very specific goals to his life. He was created to that. And I have to concentrate on my work for that to happen correctly.”

Irene wouldn’t lie that it was nice, to relive some of her stress with Sehůn once in a while. They both didn’t really care about anything, and none of them put strings on each other. Even if they practically grew up together, and she cared about him, while Irene was getting older, she started to see more clearly that there was a very fine line in all of this they couldn’t trespass – in the end, she was a scientist, and he was the subject. So she decided it was time to stop.

Wendy rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. But you’re always so serious. Come on, Joohyu-”

Irene turned fast to the other girl.

“Don’t call me like that.”

Wendy seemed a little sad.

“Alright. It was just a reflex from the old times.”

Irene watched her friend go back to look at her files, and did the same – used to ignore the pain that name always made her feel.

In the end, Irene couldn’t go back to sleep. After she and Wendy left the lab, it was past 4AM, and the sky was starting to get bright – but not enough for the lights to be turned off. So, after some tossing and turning in the bed without success, Irene decided to go to the rooftop.

This building was the biggest in the compound, being the accommodation to the subjects, scientists and the headquarters of the Red Force: the Exo’rdium. The sun was almost rising, but Irene could still see the lights of all the modern buildings alight. It really was a big contrast with the destruction the rest of the city was.

But it was nice, seeing that. It reminded her of where she was.

------------------------

“I heard some of the boys went to the lab, last night.”

Irene looked at Kang Seulgi, who was sitting in front of her in the cafeteria. She nodded, drinking a sip of her water.

“Yes. They decided to go in a surprise mission last night.”

“And why no one said anything about it?”

“Because it was Kāi and Sehůn. Besides, Suhø went with them.”

Seulgi ate a bite of her sandwich, thoughtful.

“Even though, going only on three doesn’t seem like a good idea. Don’t you think the Red Force minds it?”

“Red Force doesn’t care about anything as long as they don’t die.” Irene said. “They’re fine.”

At that moment, they heard a loud conversation and turned, to look. At the X-EXO table, everybody was eating breakfast, except for Chanyeøl. Baëkhyun was teasing Chën about something, and the boy electrocuted his fork, making him get a shock.

“You know,” Irene continued. “I’m thinking about talking with Chën, later. It would be better if they took some doctors in missions with them, to be at watch in case someone gets hurt seriously.”

“With the help of his cameras?”

Irene nodded.

“Yeah. He can see everything, so he can pass important information.”

Seulgi agreed, and they finish eating their breakfast before leaving together to the labs. Seulgi worked at the research and developing area, and had promised to help Irene develop a serum she had in mind. But all the research papers were at Irene’s lab, so they had to go there first.

When they entered the place, Irene could see that Wendy was already there – but didn’t expect to find Chanyeøl, too.

They were just talking, but Wendy was leaning against her desk, and Chanyeøl was pretty close to her, one hand resting on the surface. He wasn’t wearing his blazer, and had one sleeve of his shirt rolled up.

It was Wendy that saw them first.

“Irene!” she said, and Chanyeøl turned his head to look. He didn’t seem to have the intention to move away, so Wendy did it. “I thought you were going to work with Seulgi, today.”

“I am. But I came to get my research.”

“Ah. Alright.” she hesitated. “Chanyeøl came here to have his blood tested.”

Irene looked at them.

“Yes.” Chanyeøl said. “So now that this is done, I’ll get going.” He got his blazer on the table. “I’ll see you later, Wendy.”

The girl blinked, but didn’t respond.

After he left, the room was silent, and Irene went to her table, looking for the papers.

Seulgi crossed her arms.

“Until when are you going to flirt with Chanyeøl?”

Wendy blushed.

“I wasn’t flirting with him!”

“Yeah, right.”

“Be careful.” Irene told her, closing a drawer. “Chanyeøl is the most likely to lose control of his powers.”

Wendy looked at her.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked defensively. “You’re capable of dealing with one of them, but I’m not?”

“So you want to deal with him?” Seulgi accused, and Wendy opened her mouth like she wanted to answer that, but didn’t say anything.

“I didn’t say that.” Irene finally answered. “I’m just telling you to be careful. Let’s go, Seulgi.”

And both of them left, leaving the girl alone in the room.

-------------------------

Later that day, Irene went to the monitoring floor, where Chën spends most of his days. His room was on the last floor of the building, and it was cold – with an almost metallic smell in the air.

Irene would’ve thought it uncomfortable if she didn’t spend most of her days in a lab, which was also cold, and had a variety of smells.

Chën was sitting at his table, playing chess alone. His perfectly ironed red suit almost blended with the color of the walls.

“You can come in, Irene.” he said, even though she still hadn’t made any sound to announce her arrival. “You know I already saw you coming over here.”

Of course he had. Irene always wondered how Chën could keep up with all those cameras – there should be at least 100 just in the wall in front of him. But then, he had the highest IQ of all the boys. Perhaps all the energy accumulated in his body would make his mind act faster.

“I want to speak with you.”

“Of course.” he said, and moved a piece. “Why don’t you sit down and play a round with me?”

Irene got closer and sat facing him on the table. There were a few pieces out of place, which probably meant that he hadn't started playing in a long time.

“I’m not very good at chess.”

Chën shook his head lightly.

“That’s not true. I’ve seen you playing.”

Irene looked at the arrangement of the pieces on the board, feeling Chën’s eyes watching her.

“Did you really warn the boys about EXO coming to them, last night?” she asked, moving a piece.

“Of course. My drone saw them when they were still on their way. But it was fun, seeing Kāi being fooled by his original.”

“Maybe you could’ve been a little more incisive.”

Chën pushed one of her pieces outside the board.

“And why? If the idiots don’t listen to what I say, I’m not going to keep repeating myself. This is Suhø’s job.”

Irene analyzed the game.

“If one of you falls, you’ll be in disadvantage against them.” she commented. “It’s already hard the way it is.”

Chën stopped, looking at her.

“Why are you here, Irene? Surely it’s not to give me a lecture.”

Irene looked at him, who was still staring at her – and the way his only blue eye seemed brighter was a bit unnerving.

“I want your help.” she told him. “I want to go in the next missions, to be there in case one of you gets hurt seriously. But I can’t keep up with everyone, and I need you to do it for me.”

Chën lifted the corner of his lips, making the chain attached to his lip piercing move.

“You want me to babysit them at battle?”

“You’re here for one reason, right?” she said, before moving one more piece. “Check Mate.”

Chën looked at the game.

“Congratulations.” he said, calm. “You won.”

Irene could feel the double meaning in the sentence.

“Thank you.” she answered, before getting up. “But we both knew that this side was already fated to win when I got here.”

And Chën too, could feel the double meaning in her words.

----------------------

“Why do you keep doing these things, Sehůn?” the teenager asked, exasperated. “Why do you keep doing those stupid things?”

The boy sitting on the stretcher wasn’t looking at her.

“Because I needed to.”

“Needed to what? What do you want to prove?”

“That I’m better than him!” Sehůn snapped. “That I can beat him!”

Irene stopped, looking at him with a frown, worried and sad.

“I wasn’t expecting that Baekhyun to show up to disrupt the fight. He’s so fucking fast with that sword… But I was going to beat him, Irene. I was going to shred Sehun in pieces.”

That was the first time Irene realized the real purpose behind X-EXO. The first time she saw the unimaginable anger they carried inside. The first time she understood what Red Force was trying to do.

She didn’t say anything, getting closer to Sehůn. He stayed in the lab all day – she wasn’t allowed to frequent the place or perform procedures, she was still studying. But in the end, they allowed her to visit him.

Sehůn didn’t move while she reached for the bandage on his right eye, did not move when she removed it.

Irene tried not to express a reaction when she saw the angry red scar cutting his eye, a huge contrast to his light blue iris.

“I’ll try to develop a serum to that.” she said, but Sehůn shook his head.

“They already told me, this is never going away. Marks from Baekhyun’s sword stay forever.”

Irene frowned.

“But I’ll still try.”

Sehůn continued to look at her for a long time, until he got off the stretcher where he was sitting. Irene stepped back, but he held her waist to stop her from moving away.

And when he leaned down to kiss her, she let him.

----------------------

The next morning, Irene was organizing her things in the lab when Suhø arrived to his month checkup. That surprised her a bit, because she didn’t realize the time went by so fast. But it did make sense, since Chanyeøl had been there the day before.

While Irene took what she needed, Suhø sat on the stretcher, taking of his red blazer but keeping the vest – even though it didn’t make that much of a difference. She went closer to him, holding a syringe.

“Have you felt any different, this month?” Irene asked, gesturing for Suhø to extend his arm.

“No. I’m perfectly fine.” he said, watching as she put the needle of the syringe in his vein, taking the blood. He didn’t even flinch.

“I spoke to Chën, yesterday.” she told him, taking the needle and storing the blood in a different recipient. “Which in reality, brings me to you.”

Suhø raised a brow, and Irene kept going.

“I want to be a part of the next missions. I know scientists aren’t supposed to leave the Exo’rdium, but you guys may need urgent treatments when in battle. It would be wise to have someone that can help there.”

Suhø seemed slightly surprised.

“It’s much harder out there than you think.” he said. “I won’t have time to be checking you or anyone else.”

“You won’t have to. That’s why I talked to Chën. He will accompany all of you, and tell me where I need to go in case something happens.”

Suhø didn’t seem much excited about it, but was also not opposed to the idea.

“It’s your choice.” he said, indifferent, starting to dress his blazer.

Irene labeled the blood vessel with a 01 and stored it.

“Then it’s already decided.”

--------------------------

Surprisingly, things happened faster than Irene was expecting.

It was the start of the afternoon when Chën’s voice echoed on the speakers of the Exo’rdium.

“Dear friends, I’m seeing some interesting images close to our borders.”

Chën wasn’t one to make jokes, so it was obvious that everybody would take his words seriously, and meet him in the monitoring room.

Irene knew that even though she told him, Suhø wouldn’t make an effort to tell her, so she rushed to Chën‘s room, where everybody was already reunited.

“Our EXO friends apparently are patrolling 200m from our border.” Chën was telling them. “They seem to be looking for something.”

Sehůn saw her coming into the room and gave her a glance, but Irene looked straight ahead, paying attention to the images on the cameras. She saw the originals Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

“Looking for what?” Baëkhyun asked.

“And does it matter? Let’s just go there and catch those two!” Kāi said, with an almost crazy smile.

“They’re idiots, walking just in two, close to our territory.” Chanyeøl said. “Let me and Baëkhyun go there and finish them.”

“No.” Suhø said, firm. “You can’t control yourself, and Baekhyun plays too much. We’re all going, except for Chën.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss this amount of fun.” Kāi said.

While Suhø and Chën talked and looked at the cameras, Sehůn got up and walked to Irene.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m going too.”

Sehůn laughed.

“And do what? Research in the middle of the battlefield?”

Irene ignored him, walking to the door.

“Wait up.” Sehůn got to her, holding her arm. “You can’t be serious.”

“You need doctors on the battlefield.” She said, indifferently. “I’ll trust Chën.”

“I also trusted Chën, but shit still happened to me.” Sehůn said, and then stopped. “Irene…”

“I’ll meet you at the garage.” she said and left, not waiting for another word from him.

-----------------------

Irene hadn’t left the Exo’rdium a lot of times. She had some flimsy idea of what to expect from the world out there, but despite that, she didn’t feel nervous. She had learned how to deal with the anxiety and the fear a long time ago.

She knew that with all the boys going, only one doctor wouldn’t be enough, so even reluctantly, she asked Wendy to go. The girl was nervous, but accepted anyway.

Even though the boys always wore the same clothes when going out, the white dress they usually wore wouldn’t be ideal, so Irene changed to black pants and a red shirt. Wendy chose the same, but her shirt was white – and after getting ready, they went to the garage.

Kāi and Baëkhyun weren’t there, which was actually logical. The first could teleport, and the second could move at the speed of light, so really, there was no necessity of using a car.

To the rest, a pickup truck was ready to go, and Suhø was at the driver’s seat with Sehůn at his side, while Chanyeøl got in the backseat. Wendy entered the car first, sitting next to him, and Irene sat by the window.

“Here.” Chanyeøl said, giving them earpieces. “You may need this.”

Irene put it on her ear, watching the road while Suhø accelerated, and Chën’s voice became clear on the earpiece.

“Baëkhyun and Kāi are already close to them.”

“Keep yourselves quiet while we get there.” Suhø warned.

“But I want to play…” Baëkhyun whined.

“Quiet.” Suhø warned again.

“You know he’s not going to keep quiet if Baekhyun gets closer, right?” Chanyeøl said

Suhø sighed, checking his hair in the rearview.

“Yeah, I know.”

As predicted, things were already heated up when they got close enough.

Suhø stopped the car abruptly, and the three men got off the car, running to where the fight was happening. In the earpiece, Chën was telling locations.

“Are we going to stay in the car?” Wendy asked, clearly scared.

Irene looked at where an explosion happened, not far away from there.

“No.” she said. “It’s not safe, let’s go.”

They got out of the car, running to the ruins of one of the nearest buildings, and sat behind a wall that was still standing. More explosions resonated, and it seemed closer each time.

Irene hated to feel vulnerable in a situation like that, but she knew that in this moment, the best they could do was stay there. Carefully, she looked behind the wall, to see what was going on.

Not too far away from there, Suhø was in direct confrontation with Chanyeol. Fire and water met, making a smoke of steam rise into the sky – which was suddenly lighted up with lightning.

“They are here.” Chën said in the earpiece. “All of them arrived, they’re here.”

“I can fucking see that, you idiot!” Chanyeøl screamed “Can someone come and hel-”

At that exact moment, Chanyeøl was thrown in the trucks direction, falling on top of the roof. Irene covered Wendy’s mouth to stop her from screaming, while they watched the scene. The original Kāi suddenly was on top of Chanyeøl, trying to punch him in the face – but the boy dodged it, and held the other forearms with hands on fire.

The original screamed, staggering backwards, but before Chanyeøl could throw himself at him, he disappeared.

“Nice way to continue a fight, coward.” Chanyeøl said, before falling to his knees on the floor, coughing up blood.

Wendy got up and ran to him, before Irene could stop her. The girl kneeled at his side and touched his arm, but his jacket was so hot she screamed, releasing it.

“Sorry.” Chanyeøl said, and coughed again. “I think the bastard broke some of my ribs.”

“Can you get up?” Irene asked him

Chanyeøl didn’t answer, but started to get up, and faltered to the side. Wendy – that didn’t seem to remember she was burned seconds before – let him lean on her. She didn’t have any further reaction, so Irene imagined Chanyeøl had controlled his fire.

The three of them walked to the place they were before, and Chanyeøl fell on the floor, leaning onto the wall. Irene took off his blazer, and Wendy lifted his shirt until his chest. Slowly, she touched his ribs, and Chanyeøl screamed.

“They’re definitely broken. I can only do the basic here, but we need to come back.” Wendy said, extremely worried.

From the speed his chest was swelling, Irene knew that this was serious. She touched her earpiece.

“Kāi. Kāi, are you listening?” There was no response. “Kāi, you need to come back now!”

“I’m a little-” the voice stopped for a second. “I’m a little bit busy here!”

“Chanyeøl needs to go back to the base, this is serious!”

There was no response again, and Irene was alarmed – until she heard Suhø’s voice.

“Kāi, go back now!”

A little bit more relieved, Irene turned to Wendy and Chanyeøl, where the doctor was already starting first aid.

“Kāi’s going to come. We just need to wa-”

“Sehůn is hurt in one of the buildings at section C.” Irene heard Chën’s voice, and pressed her earpiece immediately.

“Chën, can you see me?”

A few seconds later, a drone flew over where they were.

“Yes.”

“Where is he?”

“A hundred meters ahead of you, in a building on the right. He is lying on the ground, apparently burned.”

Irene looked at Wendy.

“I’m going there. Wait for Kāi here.”

“Wait, Irene! You can’t go on your own, it’s dangero-”

But she didn’t wait for the other girl to finish the sentence.

Irene ran, not really knowing how far it was a hundred meters, but she soon saw that Chën’s drone was following her a few steps ahead, guiding the way. When it stopped in front of the building, she knew it was the one.

Over there, the explosions were a lot louder and seemed closer. Fights were still going on close to where she was, but Irene got into the building anyway, looking for Sehůn.

It didn’t take long for her to find him, lying on the floor behind an old wall.

The entire front of his blazer was torn. From his chest to his shoulders, the skin was completely burned, extremely red, raw. Sehůn was breathing hard, with difficulty.

Irene took off the backpack she was carrying, kneeling in front of him. Only at that moment, Sehůn noticed her presence.

“I... Irene...”

“I still don’t know how you can get in the worst of states.” she said, getting a bottle from inside her backpack.

“It was him…” Sehun said, breathless. “Shit. He spread the fire that Chanyeol made...”

Irene didn’t answer, opening the bottle and without hesitation, pouring the liquid over his chest and shoulders. The scream Sehůn gave echoed throughout the building.

“This serum will help.” she explained. “It’s specific to burns done by Chanyeøl.”

Sehůn didn’t say anything, apparently too out of his mind to form a coherent sentence. The serum would help, but like Chanyeøl, Sehůn needed to get back to base.

“Baëkhyun” Irene pressed her earpiece. “Baëkhyun, yo-”

“Calling for me?” the silver haired boy appeared next to her. “I was close.” he explained.

“You need to take Sehůn back.”

Baëkhyun looked at the other laying on the floor.

“Everybody already left. Suhø went to the car with your friend, Kāi is hurt and he took Chanyeøl, he’s not coming back. I can only take one of you if you want me to run fast.”

Irene shook her head, trying not to think too much.

“Just take him. I’ll wait here until someone can come and get me.”

Baëkhyun gave her a look, but did not hesitate, and after taking Sehůn in his arms with some effort, he disappeared as quickly as he had appeared.

Irene sat where Sehůn was before, hiding. There was no more sign or noise of fighting, and she wondered if EXO was gone too. That territory was on the border, it didn't belong to anyone. Maybe she was safe until someone from the Red Force came to pick her up.

But she didn’t have that luck.

The only alarm Irene had before everything happened was a tingle at the back of her neck, and the same metallic smell that she smelled in Chën’s office.

She heard the thunder, and then a lightning cleared the place, at the same time it hit the building, blasting everything around. Irene was thrown to the side, and her ears were clogged from the noise, causing her to hear nothing for some time.

She was so stunned for a while, unable to see anything because of the thick layer of dust, that she barely noticed the feeling of numbness in her leg. Only when she looked down did Irene see the huge piece of wall that was on top of it.

It was hard to breath. She wanted to scream – but to who? Her earpiece wasn’t in her ear anymore, and she couldn’t contact anyone. Desperation was beginning to form inside her, when Irene heard voices. Two people, talking.

“-ure I saw a trail of light here. It must have been Baëkhyun.”

Irene remained completely still. That voice was extremely similar to Chën’s...

“Jongdae hyung, there's nobody here.” that voice was also familiar, but Irene's head was starting to spin. “You already destroyed this place, there is nobody here.”

“I wanted to find that coward. But he is always hiding behind his cameras...”

“Yeah, you won't find him. Now let’s go, my arms are aching from the burn that Chanyeøl gave me.”

The other man hesitated a little.

“Alright, alright. Let’s go.”

Irene heard steps, and then, she was alone again.

It was unbelievable that the two of them hadn't found her - but then again, she was behind a huge amount of wreckage. It was most likely that no one would ever find her.

The thought brought the desperation back to her, and Irene looked at the rock on her leg again. Maybe she could move it... In a moment of madness, she decided to move her leg.

And everything went dark.

---------------------------

When Irene opened her eyes again, the light in the place was dim. She blinked several times, feeling disconnected. She had passed out from the pain... How long had it been?

At the same time that her conscience was returning, the pain returned with it. It seemed to burn her skin, and she started to shake, feeling sick. Doing her best not to move her lower body, Irene looked down.

And she didn’t see the rock on top of her leg.

That made no sense. Maybe she was imagining things, in the state her mind was in. She rested her head on the floor again, trying to breathe steadily. But the pain was increasing, and her vision was beginning to blur.

“I can’t pass out again...” she murmured to herself.

There was some rustling on the floor, and a shadow blocked the little light that reached Irene. She turned her face, looking to the side.

Red.

All she could see, it was all red. A familiar red.

Irene breathed heavily, almost tearing up. They had found her. They came, and they had found her.

“Suhø…?”

The man was silent for long seconds.

“No, I’m sorry.”

At first, she didn't quite understand what he meant. But then Irene forced herself to look through the pain, to keep her mind at least minimally focused.

Then she noticed it.

The completely black clothes. The unstyled red hair, almost hiding his eyes. The posture.

No, that wasn’t Suhø.

Yes, she had been found.

But not by Red Force. She had been found by EXO.

Irene wondered why she had to suffer so much, if she was going to die anyway. A voice echoed in her mind.

‘You just have to keep going. Keep going, no matter what happens.’

She closed her eyes, but some tears still escaped.

‘I’m sorry, mom.’

“Do it.” she said, ready. “Kill me.”

There was no answer for a long time, and Irene thought that maybe she was already in enough pain to feel anything else. But when she looked to the side again, the man was still standing where he was.

“Do it.” she repeated.

The man didn’t respond immediately.

“I’m not going to kill you.”

Irene gasped.

“What do you want, torture me for information? I don’t think it can get worse than this. Just kill me!”

Once again, he remained silent, and the anger mixed with the pain was making Irene's head spin.

“No, I won’t do any of this.”

“Then you’re a fool.” she said, suddenly feeling too weak. “They’ll come back for me.”

The man observed her.

“It's been hours since the fight. No one showed up at these perimeters. I only came back because I had lost something in this region, and I found you.”

No one showed up at these perimeters.

Irene couldn’t believe that. Baëkhyun knew she was there. And what about Chën’s drones?

Did they really leave her there?

The man walked towards her, and instinctively because she was startled, Irene moved.

It seemed like she blinked, but she must have passed out from the pain again, because when she opened her eyes, the red-haired man was kneeling beside her.

“Listen, your leg is broken. There are also some ugly wounds and cuts, and if they remain this dirty, they will become infected. I will clean them.”

Irene blinked, looking at him.

“Why…” she asked, weak, and he looked at her “Why are you helping me?”

The expression on his face was determined.

“Because I can’t leave someone to die like this.” he answered, and then turned his attention to her leg.

Irene watched, without the strength to fight, as the man carefully tore her pants, exposing her leg. Then, he turned his palm upward and summoned water.

Irene had seen Suhø do it several times - in tests, in combat. She had seen the strength with which he could throw it and she had seen him drown people with it.

But she had never seen him control it like this. Softly, lightly. Like it was a part of him, not something that had been given him as a weapon.

The man directed the water to her leg, and Irene could barely feel it on top of all that pain and numbness, but his touch was so soft, that she immediately felt calmer.

When he stopped, he looked at her. He had such warm brown eyes… She was used to blue. Cold blue ones.

“I can’t move you like this. You’ll pass out with the pain, again.” The man moved, getting something from the pocket of his vest. Irene saw a pill in his hand. “This will help you sleep for a few hours. It’s the only way.”

Irene looked at the pill, and then to him again.

The only way?

She was in pain. She was tired of being in pain.

No one would come after her.

Even if this man was lying… What was the point in fighting, now?

So above all her judgments, she nodded.

The man put a hand on the back of her head, helping her to stand up a little, and put the pill in her mouth. After that, with the other hand cupped, he summoned some water and brought it to her lips, which she drank, swallowing the pill.

“This will take effect in a few seconds.” he warned her, calmly.

Irene could already feel her body lighter. Was it that fast?

She blinked slowly, watching the face of the man in front of her - so familiar, yet so unknown.

“Who are you?” she saw herself asking, not sure if he could understand her.

He looked at her, a soft expression on his face.

“I’m Junmyeon.” he said, his voice distant.

And when the darkness came to her this time, Irene didn’t fall on it, she embraced it.

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convenientalias · 5 years

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Ask me: FANDOM EDITION - A, O, X, Z

A-Current OTP

Already answered, but, maybe Carlottastine or R/C? Idk.

O-Choose a song at random, what OTP does it remind you of?

Well, I shuffled my playlist and got “Belle to Remember” by Hayley Kiyoko, which I haven’t heard in a while. Honestly? I always associated this song more with my original fiction than anything else. Hayley Kiyoko was my muse for the “murderous college roommate” novel that I finished writing last summer, so she brings two ships to mind-- my MC and her murderous college roommate, and my MC and the cute butch girl downstairs.

Since no one knows those ships except me and my irl friends, I went on and the next song was “Opheliac” by Emilie Autumn. Which is a jam, but not one I really associate with a particular ship. The song after that, tho, was “Material Girl” by Madonna, which I associate with Eva/Tenma from Monster as well as Carlotta, just, in general. I can stretch it to be a Carlotta/Christine song if I picture Carlotta explaining her life philosophies to Christine while Christine listens with an expression of either awed naivete or slight disgust.

Man, I should write some fics based on songs some time soon. that would be fun.

X-3 OTPs from three different fandoms.

Great Gatsby--Nick/Gatsby

Shades of Magic--Kell/Holland

How to Get Away With Murder--Wes/Annalise

Z-Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go

Ummmmmmmmmm hm I’m gonna ramble about my odd current books situation, which I figure is close enough.

So I usually read a lot of f/f books, and I read a few m/m books, and obviously some books that aren’t queer at all. But lately I’ve been having such bad luck with f/f books. In the past two months, I’ve finished six, which is a lot, but apart from Alpennia, they’ve all been just ok. kind of meh. That book I got so excited about the other day which I bought off ebay turned out to be kind of shit. I read a book by an author I really enjoy that turned out to be largely kind of boring. Another one struck me as actually kind of biphobic, and then there were two others that were just kind of eh. I’ve also DNF’ed probably twice as many books as I’ve finished.

Meanwhile I’ve discovered the most amazing m/m mystery series (Criminal Intentions by Cole McCade) and I’m reading Mary Renault novels for a school project, which is bringing my ratio of good m/m books WAY up. ...not actually that high up, but I’ve also read 6 m/m books in the past two months. Which makes it equal to the number of f/f books, actually, but for me, that’s very weird bc in original fiction I usually don’t read a lot of m/m. And while my f/f books have been meh, pretty much ALL of those six m/m books have been amazing. Admittedly this is largely bc I’m just reading two very good authors--maybe if I could find a couple f/f authors that I ALWAYS love, I would be in better luck. As of now, I have some authors I generally like, but none I’m quite so emphatically into except maybe Heather Rose Jones, who only has written three books so. Once I’ve read her most recent book, I’ll be out of luck.

It’s really hard sometimes to find good f/f books! The fact is, bc f/f is an underappreciated genre, many reviewers and promoters of f/f praise basically all books in the genre, and it’s hard to find books that are objectively good as opposed to “it must be good bc it has lesbians in it”. Then again, is there such a thing as an objectively good book, or is it all just taste? And is this partly my fault for mostly just reading whatever books I can get for free or cheap or through the library?

Anyways this is just me out in the weeds wondering if the reason all this annoys me is bc of genre snobbery (feeling like I should enjoy f/f more than m/m) or whether it’s a legitimate gripe. ...at any rate I know my genre enjoyment comes and goes in waves. at some point I’ll probably stop reading much queer fiction at all. but not for quite a while, I hope!

this has been a long-ass post for a simple ask. Thanks for the ask! If anyone has thoughts on my not very coherent rant, I’m up for discussion.

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lotusdiscussthis · 5 years

Text

@yunevii

I read your tags and I was afraid to respond to it considering you didn’t show it on the reblog. By putting your comments on the tags, I could’ve easily overlooked it, so I didn’t know if you really wanted to talk about it or not. In the end, I’ve decided to link you to give you my reply anyway. I hope you don’t mind.

I don’t blame you for not agreeing. After all, my perception of Saihara can be hard to believe when I haven’t given enough explanations as to what made me look at Saihara in such a negative way. It’s mainly due to having to reanalyze the story in a different perspective after discovering things that paints the supposedly innocent detective in a different light. But I’ll try to explain my thoughts the best that I can...

“kokichi often makes conversations go in frustrating circles because of his lies...

True, talking to Ouma also gave me headaches when I first played. Though sometimes the best way to determine someone’s nature is to not always rely on their words, but through their actions. It’s easy to say things like “I’m really evil” and act like the bad guy, but if your actions contradict with that behavior, that would naturally raise questions.

Let’s take Ouma’s evil speech after Gonta died. He said he enjoys their suffering, yet in the previous chapter, he urged Himiko to express her grief properly. How is it that he would go that far for someone he barely even knows, only to suddenly make a big show about he loves their suffering later on? Or when Ouma looked like he faked being injured only for Saihara to notice him wobbling as he walked and failed to notice how he was blanking out while talking to him? Or how about when Ouma was screaming “WE want to live, so don’t get in our way!” mid-trial while arguing with Kaito? We’ve just forgotten that part when Ouma later explains, “Oh yeah, me and Gonta were totally planning on getting you all killed so you wouldn’t have to face the horrible despair of the outside world!” None of this makes any sense.

How is it that Saihara would overlook these major redflags that would contradict the fact that Ouma was a heartless person? If I can notice this myself, how is it that the protagonist, the Ultimate Detective, can’t??? (Also, reading between the lines is kinda what detectives do, so this is no excuse)

“i think more than anything saihara wanted to feel like kokichi was on his side-...”

I will be frank, you shouldn’t expect people to do anything for you so simply. That was pretty much what I was trying convey in my original post. To think that somebody on the opposing side as you is automatically suspicious, not good, or wrong is just incredibly flawed reasoning. Especially since the reason why Ouma wasn’t on Saihara’s side in the first place was because he was mostly siding with Kaito the whole time. And Kaito, a man of instinct/belief/blind optimism, mostly showed hostility towards almost everything Ouma says and does. Ouma clearly knew the gravity of the situation and yet, he gets treated like the pariah because almost nobody wants to listen to what he has to say.

Ouma tried several times in the beginning to speak logically about their circumstances, yet practically everyone would automatically think he’s trying to start up pointless trouble. Like when Ouma said if Gonta were to continue being gullible, he was going to get killed. The reason why we saw Ouma as the bad guy in that moment was because everyone around him started to get all defensive and called him insensitive for saying such things after Kaede and Rantaro died. Which isn’t rational. THEY ARE IN A DEATH GAME. Whether Ouma had said anything or not wouldn’t have changed that fact.

Out of everyone, Ouma has proven to have put in the most effort into showing his trustworthiness by spitting out the facts and warning them all to be careful, but it was everyone else (besides Miu and Gonta) that had rejected his help in the end.

On the one hand, Saihara hadn’t really done anything to earn Ouma’s support and friendship since meeting him. Even if Saihara was truly expecting what you had claimed, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s selfish for him to think that way. He doesn’t owe Saihara anything.

On the other hand, Ouma also did say at one point he was on everyone else’s side. And in the 5th trial, he had put everything on the line for his final plan to work and put an end to the killing game. Knowing that, does it still sound like he was not on his friends’ side? Even if you’ve figured it out, Saihara somehow couldn’t bring himself to comprehend this fact.

“...but talking to him always feels like a battle just to get the truth out”

If the ‘truth’ you are referring to is about knowing Ouma’s true intentions and plans, then there’s a good reason for that. Ouma did mention in the beginning that carelessly opening up to people would be dangerous. And no, I don’t think he was speaking as Mr. Paranoia as much as the fandom loves to see him as. I think he said that because Monokuma would most likely be listening in on their conversations and that one of their friends is most likely the ringleader. (Just like how Kyoko was cautious of talking to Makoto out in the open in DR1) And turns out he was correct. So if he explained that much in the beginning, shouldn’t that give the listener (Saihara) a better idea as to why he shouldn’t be too outright with his intentions? There’s only so much you can do without getting careless within a killing game.

“also by the time saihara says that he’ll never get kokichi to change kokichi had proven to be not just hard to talk to but pretty heartless and villainous as well”

I would like for you to recall how Ouma first introduced himself... Now this is something I’ve always found curious, but never really dove into too deeply in case the story were to prove me otherwise at some point. But now that it’s been a year since I first played, I just have to ask those who think that Ouma has a single sadistic or villainous bone in his body.....

What kind of antagonist would out themselves as a liar in the beginning? In a killing game, no less?

We all know that he’s an incredibly clever boy who knows how to play mind games and put on an act that would befit the situation. So if he was truly serious about winning the game and was willing to coldly disregard the lives of others, wouldn’t it make more sense to not reveal that problematic aspect of himself? Wouldn’t it give him a better advantage to NOT play the flaming jerkwad role and piss everyone off to the point of wanting to kill you? Much like how Komaeda played innocent until Hajime and Chiaki cornered him into admitting that he set up the murder plan and then showed his crazy side. Ouma could’ve played himself up just like that as well, but no. Instead he kept claiming he’s nothing more than a liar.

Admitting to a bunch of (supposed) strangers that he’s a liar just makes no sense at all. Although, to disregard his intentions as just him being crazy or just him screwing around would be oversimplifying things. Even Nagito had an understandable method to his madness...

“though he hadnt done anything drastic he does fuck up the trials and says (lies) about how much fun the killing game is”

When you say “fuck up the trials”, you mean when he took Ryoma’s motive video or saying that he killed Angie? I had to ask to make sure because just simply saying “he screwed up the trials” is not a clear enough explanation. Anyway, we never actually knew the real reason as to why Ouma stole the motive vid. We were made to think he did it for kicks, but in the end, he explained on Ryoma’s behalf that his motive video was empty when nobody knew what could’ve made him lose his will to live. I guess he also speculated that Maki was Ryoma’s killer and wanted to steal it before she got a hold of it. After all, she was the original holder of his video and nobody knew about her and Ryoma’s encounter besides Ouma, so nobody would’ve questioned her as to why she had his video. And I think Ouma was waiting for an opportune moment to shove the evidence in her face if things went differently. (I’m just guessing here tho.) But I do believe Ouma has reasons for why he does what he does, instead of simply doing it for jokes.

On the matter of him claiming that he killed Angie, he said so himself that he was trying to lure out the culprit by pretending to be the killer. He said if he played the killer, the actual blackened would likely push the blame onto him. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s more of a valid reason to do it than simply screwing around.

It’s rather funny to me how the fandom talks about how Ouma screws up the trials, but what about Tenko, Himiko and Maki???

Tenko kept others from questioning Himiko for the sake of the investigation, Himiko would sooner let everyone die for the sake of keeping her magic a secret, and Maki stupidly kept quiet and put the trial on hold so nobody would figure out her talent. And yet, Saihara would sooner side with them and lie for their sake in the middle of the trial even though he had just about as little relations with them as he did with Ouma. Why????

“its really hard for saihara to feel like he’s on his side despite how much he does want to work with him”

I’m sorry to say, but Saihara had that opportunity to work with Ouma when the boy himself made the offer in the VW. Without considering it or even questioning him, Saihara just ignored him and logged out. Saihara clearly had no intention of working beside him.

“i do kinda agree that he didnt really ask that many questions but kokichis answers really had proven to always be super vague or just a lie”

Which vague answers are you talking about exactly? I wouldn’t know how to answer that myself because that’s not specific enough. Give me an example?

“the point is i really dont believe saihara is an arrogant person.”

I’m afraid that the screencaps I’ve shown in the original post aren’t the only proof I have to show that he’s an arrogant person. I wanted to mention them in a different post, but I’ll give you a few other brief examples.

He has insinuated that Ouma is stupid despite the fact that we’re talking about the same dude that has pretty much been doing more detective work than the actual detective did. Not to mention that Saihara’s the one that believed Ouma was the mastermind and screwed up the first case majorly.

After the 5th Closing Argument, Saihara claimed his detective’s intuition was flawless even though it was clearly just conjecture in the end. He had practically no proof to back up what he had laid out for them. He may have gotten Kaito to exit out of the exisal but only because he had to lie. That doesn’t prove that was what actually transpired. Only Kaito knows about what had happened between him and Ouma, and seeing how Kaito was following the script he was given, we wouldn’t know the extent of it.

This one really peeves me. Because he thinks he knows better, he thinks he gets to shut down someone else’s emotions because he thinks they’re lying when he couldn’t possibly have gotten the chance to know one thing about him. Whether you think someone is insincere or not, it’s not your place to disregard their feelings like that.

There’s also the fact that Kirumi got unexpectedly personal and called out on the fact that Saihara doesn’t even listen to others in the 2nd trial. It was weird how she could make these accusations at all like she knows something...

And despite the fact that Tsumugi claimed it was Kaede’s twin as the possible suspect, Saihara would sooner disregard the piece of evidence because he trusted his intuition moreso than looking into possible facts. Same can be said in the first trial too, where he trusted his intuition to pin Kaede as the culprit despite the fact that she WASN’T...

I’ll just stop it here...

“i dont think its right to compare gundam and kokichi”

Well, I don’t see how it’s wrong either, honestly... Considering how the game itself gave me a lot to work with to show how much these two said characters contrast with one another. I actually made something before that would showcase a lot of comparisons between Ouma and Gundham. So if you wish, you can look for yourself and see what I mean... (Link to Self-Sacrificing Duos post) And a friend of mine actually analyzed a scene between the two when they had a moment in TDP and the game even subtly hinted about them being similar! (Link to Gundham and Ouma TDP moment post)

It’s kinda hard not to compare when there are a number of things you can compare within this franchise, not just Gundham and Ouma. They are all by the same creator after all and he loves to re-utilize his own tropes.

“wow i should not have written all this in the tags its so long sorry i make it sound like i dont like kokichi when i really do. he’s a great character just really hard to get along with. i hope this made any sense lol”

It’s no problem. I just hope that what I’ve explained made sense ^^; I apologize if I come across as harsh or anything like that, but I couldn’t find myself expressing certain points any better than I did...

Hopefully, this gives you at least a better understanding of where I’m coming from.

#{replied}#yunevii #{opinions}#{thoughts}#{screencaps}#{personal}#{answered}#{I need smeeps}

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