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#this was a piece i didn't really know what to do with so i put the holes in at first and then someone im in class with suggested i bite it
ysrjune · 2 days
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stephen walking in on you jumping his pillows??
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Stephen had taken you to his apartment for the night since you decided to visit him for the last hour he had to work. You were in his office, staying quiet and watching him type and write things away. Once he was finished, you talked with him for a while until his shift was over.
You came in a taxi, so he just took you with him in his car. Laughs and conversations filled the car all the way from work, the parking lot, and his apartment. You both lay in his bed, kissing for a while. Kiss marks were left all over his face.
“Gotta go wash these off, sweetie.” He chuckled and kissed your cheek. “Be right back, don't run off.” Stephen jokes, quickly going to his dresser to find comfy bottoms and a shirt, then walks to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
You lay on your back and sighed. Literally, nothing was planned for you today except for all the chores you had to finish earlier. Not to mention the fact that you were so worked up and needed your boyfriend so bad all day.
You had no idea if he was in the mood or not, but if he wasn't, you were gonna put him in it. You swiftly removed all your clothes and grabbed one of your boyfriends’ pillows. At a slow pace that eventually sped up, you rocked your hips on it and imagined it was Stephen.
“Babe, hurry up!” You called out to which he replied, “Almost done, I'll just be a minute!” He was probably brushing his teeth, too. You waited until he came out, wiping off his glasses, not looking at you immediately. “Sorry I took so long. I decided to brush my teeth and scrub my face real good.” Stephen explains and put his glasses back on.
As soon as he looked at what you were doing, he froze and started blushing. “Babe.. what are you doing.” He asks shyly. “What does it look like im doing?” You reply, going slower.
“you—you know, if.. if you wanted to.. do something you could've just asked..” he slowly walked over to you, placing his hands on your hips. “Mm—I wouldn't have said no, you know that, baby.” He breathes out, his right hand dropping down to your clit and letting his middle finger slide up and down.
You let out a small moan and drape your hands over his shoulders. “I don't know.. I guess I just—” you paused for a second, feeling his finger move back and forth on you. “just wanted to see what you would do when you saw what I was doing.
“Wishing my face was that pillow, if im being honest.” What? Did he really just say that, or did you imagine it..
“What did you sa—”
“Sit on my face. Please sit on my face, baby.” He cut you off and went down on his knees, hands reaching behind your thighs to pull you closer so he could suck on your folds. “You're.. wet.” He quietly states, pulling away while your bodily fluids connect with his lips.
“Makes me so hard to see you be the needy one..” He gently pushed you down and dragged you closer to his mouth. “if only you could see what I see. Mmm, this pretty pussy is all mine.” He groaned against the lips and then started to eat you like a starved man.
Your moans filled the room. Fingers tangling in his curly hair and hearing the sloppiest noises coming from his tongue exploring you. “Come on, baby, please? I dont wanna ask again..” He stopped.
“Okay, fine..” You replied, and he got what he wanted. Your hands gripped the headboard, and your hips rolled on his face while he was eating you out. His arms were gripping your thighs, too. He moaned and made all sorts of noises while doing this.
After cumming all over his face, he wanted you to ride him. And what happened? That pretty boy got what he wanted. He tried ditching the glasses, but you didn't let him. Not ever.
His hands kept moving from your tits, ass, hips, and thighs while you were doing this. A hair fell onto his forehead, making him look so cute. Cheeks stained deep pink, glasses that kept falling down the bridge of his nose.. that piece of hair did wonders.
A bunch of babbles came from him, saying how he loves you and your pussy so much. Or telling you how hes so lucky to be with a gorgeous girl like you. He just praised you so much since its all he ever does. Stephen likes to show you how much hes enjoying himself.
“‘m gonna cum, baby, pleasepleaseplease dont stop.” he whined into your shoulder, shaking his head. sniffles fell from his nose. was he really crying? was he that overstimulated? “im—shit, mm! im cumming!” he thrusts into you, moaning as soon as his seed shot into you.
so it mine el
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lisysturniolo · 15 hours
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𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆
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𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐃!𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓 𝐗 𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐑𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐃!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑
𝐀/𝐍: this is so ass lolol but this is my first ever smut so PLEASE bear with me. i don’t normally write smut, i don’t normally like smut but i’m to try and make this as enjoyable and REALISTIC as possible. if there’s any mistakes or anything i could make better, let me know! and please comment if you liked it or not, i appreciate you guy’s feedback. 💋
𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: @mattscoquette
you and matt were currently sitting on your shared bed at his house. just moments before, you guys had a deep conversation. that turned from talking about your future to talking about sex. and here you are, your virgin self about to lose your virginity to your boyfriend.
matt looked at you with empathetic eyes and rubbed your arm slightly, "are you absolutely sure you want to do this baby? i don't want to pressure you into doing anything you are not comfortable with."
"matt, please i promise i want to do this." you pleaded.
"okay, i promise to make this as enjoyable as possible. if anything hurts or you want to me stop and take a break, i will. just let me know.. kay?" matt pushed you gently onto your back  on the shared bed and started kissing you.
whatever had posessed matt in that very moment was doing you wonders because he was being so gentle. when you guys usually makeout, it's needy and rough but this, this was soft and gentle. his lips felt like a silk satin pillow case against your own.
"can i take your shirt off baby?" he asked, coming up for air from all the kissing
"mhm," you mumbled. he smiled and hooked his fingers under the hem of your shirt to take it off. once it was off, he was met with a dark blue lace bra. you weren't expecting for you to be losing your virginity tonight so you just put the matching set on out of comfortability. 
"did you put this on for me?" he asked. you nodded your head, knowing damn well you definitely didn't.
"well you look beautiful, honey," he grazed his fingers along the small of your back and the front. the thought and the touch made you squirm and arch your back a little. 
"i'm gonna take your bra off okay? is that good with you?"
"yes matt, please." he took it off and smiled and he reminded you how beautiful you looked.
"okay honey, i'm going to stimulate your nipples and try and give you some pleasure, okay?"
the thought of him 'stimulating your nipples' didn't sound very pleasing, but he reassured you everything was going to be okay and he wasn't going to hurt you in any type of way. he explained everything he was going to do and you reluctantly agreed.
matt smiled before lowering his head down and having his tongue on your nipple. licking very gently in circular motions. you felt like you weren't getting any pleasure at first but when he would come up for breath and your nipples would start to harden, you felt pleasure then.
"matt.." you breathed out heavily. matt could only smile at this.
"my girl finally getting pleasure? you feel okay, babe?"
"mhm," you pressed your lips together, "feels really good."
with a pop sound, he let go of your nipple and kissed you again. pulling away, and with your consent, he pulled down your shorts and underwear at the same time. 
"okay, open your legs for me sweetheart." 
you felt weird about that too. you hadn't shaven perviously before this and you were scared of what he had to say. if he would judge you, stop wanting you, break up with you. it was all a rush of emotions.
"honey, you look beautiful, i don't care about your hair. this is about you and your pleasure. don't worry about me."
you wanted to crumble into pieces at the sound of that. you faintly smiled and opened your legs.
"you look so beautiful babe. okay, i'm gonna eat you out to give you some pleasure okay?" 
"what does that mean?"
"i'm going to stimulate your clit with my tongue. you know what your clit is right?" 
"yes, matt i know what a clitoris is."
he snickered, "okay good, i'll go super slow." and with that, he lowered his head and licked your clit, trying to get some stimulation out of you. 
"matt, oh, fuck matt.." you put your hands in his hair and gently tugged at the tips of his hair which caused him to groan and give your clit a new type of pleasure.
"matt! wait no, i have to pee matt, stop." you moved him off of you gently.
he laughed and kissed your nose. "baby you don't have to pee. that's your body building up and orgasm."
"what does that mean?"
"your body produces something called arosual fluid that is like your natural lube for your body," he said with quotation marks. "that mixes with your pee and since your clit is right near the hole where you pee, that's why it feels like you have to pee because that hole is being stimulated."
you nodded your head and then he continued his actions. you knew you were close to cumming because it became harder and harder to breathe with every lick and suck matt would give you.
"matt, i'm literally gonna.." and with that you came. you felt everything go white for a split second and your body began to shake. matt laughed, and kissed your forehead.
"you okay?" he asked, very soft and gently. 
"yeah just give me a minute."
matt gave you about  minutes before you calmed down and you were now about to actually have sex. 
"do you know how to put a condom on matt?"
"of course, honey, they teach it to us in highschool." he pulled his pants down and revealed his, dripping with pre-cum, cock hanging loose.
your eyes widened at the size of the thing and began to grow nervous. "that is not going to fit in me."
he slipped the condom on no problem and grabbed some extra lube. "sure it will baby, we just have to use more lube." he lubed both you up and the time was now coming. 
"i'm going to push the tip in and then half. does that sound good?"
"mhm, is it gonna hurt."
"it might hurt a sliver but that's why we have extra lube. are you ready?"
"yeah."
with that, he pushed only the tip in and you were almost about to cry. matt reassured you everything was going to be okay and that he was there if you needed to take a break or anything.  when you gave him the 'okay' to push further, he pushed half of it in.
"shit baby, your so tight, relax. if you don't relax, this is never going to work."
"matt, it hurts." 
he kissed your temple, lovingly. "i know honey, but it will all be over soon."
you took his word and relaxed. whenever you were okay and he was pushing in and out, the pain quickly turned into pleasure and about two minutes in, you were ready to combust.
"matt, i'm gonna... please don't stop feels really good."
"yeah? my pretty girl feel good?"
"matt, oh my god," you moaned.
"you look so pretty like this honey.. you gonna cum for me?"
with that, you cummed all over the condom and he pulled out. "was that good? did you like that?" matt asked panting and sweaty.
"yes, matt! that was so good."
"okay, lets get cleaned up and then we can cuddle okay?" he kissed you lips before grabbing a warm wet towel and cleaning the mess up from your thighs. he disposed of the condom in the trash before cleaning himself off. he helped you get dressed and put on your favorite movie.
your first time was definitely worth remembering.
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jsprnt · 2 days
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Americano PT. 9 | Jude Bellingham x Reader
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What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?
A/N: phew! this took me five million years and a bag of candy to write. remember when I told you to remember the house layout? 😉 Enjoy!
small mention: I absolutely love knowing you all are curious about the next chapter of this series. I appreciate and love all comments I get, and try to keep all my promises I make. but, trust I’m human too and need some away from writing. Though, when rude and harassing words are used in my inbox- the joy of writing this series gets absolutely sucked away. (If I’ve answered your message, this isn’t about your comment 🫶) so, please keep your rude words to yourself or I’ll turn off anonymous inbox messages and block you the next time :)
W/C: 4.016
part eight
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"I should've just taken a break to go on vacation."
Lina sighs, poking her salad with her fork, and guiding the mixture of greens and dressing up to her mouth.
"Didn't you take a trip to Paris last international break?"
Luis says, raising a brow at her words. He turns his head towards me, nudging me under the table.
"Can you believe her?" He asks, an exasperated chuckle leaving his lips. It causes me to jolt out of my half-asleep state, my eyes widening in surprise.
"What? Who?" I ask looking around and bring a hand up to rub the sleep out of my eyes.
I had rushed out of the house this morning, which meant everyone got the chance to admire my bare skin today.
Well, my stress-induced breakouts were on full display, but having some pimples wasn’t the end of the damn world anyway.
"Are you okay?" Lina joins in, placing a warm hand on my shoulder.
"Yeah, just dozed off- been sleeping horribly." I reply, eyeing my lunch with a grimace.
"Are those exams still keeping you up?"
"More like waking me up.. Do you know how many nightmares of failing an exam a person can take?” I say, my words coming out harsher and louder than I intended. My eye twitches in irritation, and I give them a crazy look.
"Woah, you have an attitude today.." Luis mutters, shifting away from me.
"Don’t piss her off.." I hear Lina say, nudging Luis.
"Never mind, I'm going back to work." I state, quickly putting my tray of food away and walking out of the cafeteria.
I mutter curses under my breath, trying to look as normal as possible to my coworkers when I pass them in the hallways.
Exam season was practically sucking the life out of me, and the added pressure of the upcoming Champions League home game against Napoli was multiplying the stress.
Thankfully, it was international break, which meant that my normal workload was cut in half. Some players not playing for in the national team had requested leave for vacation, so the training center was pretty quiet and empty today.
I only knew of injured players being here for their scheduled recovery appointments.
I finally get back in my office, sighing in exhaustion when I get to my desk. I plop down, rubbing my face to wake myself up further, before starting to work on some more content.
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"Why are you grinning like a creep?"
I turn to Luis, chuckling at his choice of words, and let go of the computer mouse.
"I just got a notification that said I passed my written exam." I beam, giving him a cocky look.
"Really?"
"Yeah, ninety-four percent..” I say, turning my head to look at the editing program. The training video we had just shot halfway edited already.
"You've been snapping at us for no reason, but I guess it was worth it- good job.." He says, shooting me a smile, and leaning in to give me a side hug.
"Yeah, sorry about that.." I apologize, fixing my wrinkled shirt. I move my hand towards the mouse again, cutting off a piece of blurry footage that we couldn’t use.
"It's fine, I guess it's payback for making you do random tasks back when you were a newbie.."
"You know, I haven't forgotten how you made me carry that heavy ass bag every morning..”
"I'm sorry, alright. You should've told me earlier that Ancelotti is basically your uncle."
I grumble at his words, jabbing his ribcage with my elbow, sending him a warning look.
"Stop talking and help me out with this.." I mutter, passing him the mouse.
He winces a little, rubbing his stomach, before snatching the mouse off of me with an attitude.
"Didn't know you were allowed to use your privilege to inflict such violence."
I roll my eyes, focused on the moving images on the computer screen. Starting to unconsciously pick at a fresh scab on my hand. Only noticing the damage I’ve done when I look down to see blood trickling down the back of my hand.
"Shit, made myself bleed.." I say, making Luis glance away from the dual monitors.
"Go to the physiotherapy room. They have a shit ton of bandages and bandaids.” He suggests, his hand going up to fix the curls falling in front of his eyes.
I nod quickly, getting up from my seat and walking out of the small, soundproof meeting room. I close the glass door behind me, hurrying over to the physiotherapy room.
I pass the glass panels facing the multiple pitches outside, the sun had been shining brightly this afternoon. Even though the sun had been setting quite early due to daylight saving time.
I knock twice when I arrive, only opening the door when I hear a loud 'come in' in response.
I clear my throat, realizing how silly it is to get a bandaid for a wound like this, but still walk in.
I'm greeted by the sight of first-team physiotherapist Iván, he smiles when he notices me, waving for me to come inside.
He was one of the nicest people working with me at Real Madrid. It would be especially fun when he would bring in his little two-year-old son with him. I couldn’t count on one hand how many times I had carried the cute boy around the training center in my free time.
"Oh, y/n. What brings you here?" He questions, shoving the white privacy curtain out of the way, only to reveal a shirtless Jude lying on the treatment table, his eyes opening to peer over at me.
The personalized shoulder brace he'd been wearing for the past couple matches, was taken off for obvious reasons, and placed on the other side of the bed.
I look away a moment later, feeling my chest tighten, internally wincing at the thought of Jude having a dislocated shoulder and still playing football. Despite all of the aggressive and offensive play we had gotten used to this season, he was handling it well- but I wouldn’t ever utter it out loud.
Because- who wants to inflate that ego even more? Or was that even possible?
"Hi, Iván.. Just wondering if you got a bandaid for me?" I avert my gaze to the physio, and raise my brows. I hold my hand up to show the wound, and smile when he nods in response.
"Yeah, just a second.." He shoots Jude a quick wink, washing his hands before coming over. He begins to rummage through the cabinet, flipping through a pack of bandaids before handing me one closest to my skin color.
"Here you go.. Do you need anything else?" He asks, eyeing the blood on my hand.
"Nope, only this. Thank you.." I smile, quickly wiping down the blood from my hand and gently placing the bandaid on my wound.
I throw the bloody wipes and wrappers in the dedicated trash can, turning around again when I’m done.
I make accidental and involuntary eye contact with Jude instead of Iván, who's already across the room busy with some paperwork. Probably documenting the progress of Jude’s injury.
My eyes automatically dart down to his shoulder, and unbelievably, my eyes slip to his chest, then to his-
I stiffen when I regain consciousness of what I’m doing, and look away with haste. I fight the urge to smack myself in the face, instead biting the flesh of my cheek when I notice him smirk at me.
"What are you looking at?" He questions, voice low and his cocky tone too obvious to ignore.
My eyes widen slightly when he speaks, and I take a step forward as if to say I’m not intimidated.
"Just- looking at your shoulder.." I say, cringing at the way the words leave my mouth.
"So, you’re worried about me now?"
I give him a look of disgust, a chuckle of disbelief leaving my mouth.
"You wish, Bellingham. I heard Ancelotti is confident in putting you in the starting lineup on Wednesday. You better put your best foot forward, and if we don’t end up winning..." I trail off, threatening him slightly with my tone. I then turn around and leave the room.
I couldn’t lie, being rude to him after he'd dislocated his shoulder and still played made me feel a little guilty.
Though, he had a huge gift of being the ultimate douchebag, even when he’d been having his 'decent' moments lately.
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“He’s only turned nineteen two- no three months ago, and he’s already scoring in the Champions League..” Luis gawks, grabbing the equipment bag out of my hand.
“I know, it’s so fun to see young players flourish..” I mutter, mentally recalling the interview I just did with Nico Paz. Since it was his first goal for Real Madrid, we had just done an interview in celebration.
“He is a year younger than you.. Is he really that young to you?” Luis teases, pushing me away when I pretend to kick him.
“What? Are you trying to undermine my accomplishments?” I question, trying to kick him again.
“Hey! See, this is how immature you are.. Step back, dude get off…” He says, and I scuffle with him for a moment, gasping when he tries to put me in a headlock.
“Okay, you always do this- stop everyone is looking..” I mutter, squeezing his arm.
“How fuckin’ childish are you?” I hear a familiar voice say. I snap my head up, Luis’ arm loosening as he immediately lets me go.
“As much as I want to be...” I state, my hand traveling up to fix my hair and clothes.
I hear Jude scoff, he gives me a nasty look before taking a step forward, but I notice him freeze in my peripheral vision when he hears someone calling out to me.
“y/n?!” The person shouts, and I look around for a moment before my eyes land on…
The guys from Naples?
What’s his name again?
“Chris?..” I say, my voice low and as enthusiastic as I can manage to pretend.
Fuck, I never even answered his DM’s..
Well, should I really give a guy who looks like trouble a chance?
My common sense says: NO.
I watch him bring an arm around my back, his hand resting on my shoulder blade when he hugs me tightly. Like we’ve been friends for freaking years…
“How have you been? Thought I’d see you here..” He beams, his hand going up to fix the fluffy mop of blonde hair on his head. Aussie accent undeniably mesmerizing like last time.
He is so pretty, but the kind of pretty that told me he was a full on man-wh*re..
“Hi? Good, what are you doing here?” I ask, trying to stop the grimace forming on my face. I lean in, taking a closer look at the badge hanging from his neck.
Surprisingly enough, it says ‘VIP’- I look up at him with a questioning look, waiting for him to explain.
“Oh- this.. someone I know gifted me this pass..”
Yeah, very believable.
He smiles nonchalantly, the skin of his cheeks denting as his dimples show.
I nod as if I understand, glancing at Luis, so he can get me out of this conversation.
“You’re the drunk guy from that night!” Chris suddenly exclaims, pointing at Luis.
Could this get even more awkward.
I tune out the stupid conversation they have, shuffling backwards only to bump into Jude.
Thankfully, not against his injured shoulder.
“Oh, sorry..” I whisper, not even registering his response before he’s rudely interrupted.
“Man- no way you’re the Jude Bellingham..”
I close my eyes in embarrassment, turning around to face Jude instead of both Luis and Chris.
I raise my brows at Jude, giving him a look only readable as ‘send this man away’..
He immediately plasters an all too good, fake smile on his face. Stepping behind me to greet Chris, and begins talking to him about the match.
I can only hear a jumble of both Brum and Aussie accents, it making me want to burst into a fit of laughter. Though, I manage to keep it in, looking at Luis to see if he’s still present in the conversation.
He isn’t, as expected. No surprise, he’s fidgeting with his damn camera again.
I stand there like a statue for the next two minutes, looking back and forth between the two accented men.
It’s a comical sight, especially when I can’t even understand some words.
I sigh in relief when Jude pats Chris’ shoulder, careful with his injury when he goes in for a handshake.
I watch Jude leave swiftly, his facial expression falters immediately, and his hand goes up to rip the shoulder brace off his body, harsher than I’ve ever seen him do before.
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"My brain is going to explode, fucks sake.."
I mumble, stretching my arms and legs. I get up from the dinner table in order to walk around the backyard for a moment. Trying to get some fresh air, even though it's past midnight already.
I loved studying at the dinning table way more than upstairs in my room. It felt less lonely- especially since my dad had been gone for a couple weeks now. His work and the case had taken an interesting turn, which meant that his stay had to be prolonged.
I didn't mind, in fact, I loved living alone. Except for when I heard random noises at night. It could've been a bird flying against the window, and I’d still be paranoid.
Since it was our day off, after winning 2-0 against Napoli yesterday- I thought I'd go ahead and continue cramming for my last exam I had in a couple days.
I yawn and stretch my limbs, looking up at the clear sky and stars. It had gotten so much colder since December was almost here.
My pajama shorts are not providing warmth, but I can’t be bothered to go up and change when I’m going back inside in a minute anyway.
I can hear my back cracking when I turn to stretch, making me chuckle. I was only twenty, but those hard ass chairs and sitting in them for long periods of time, made me feel like I was double my age sometimes.
I'm brought out of my thoughts when I hear my phone ring loudly from the dinning table. I jog back inside quickly, throwing my slippers off my feet and snatch my phone. Confusion settling on my face when I read the caller ID.
I immediately pick up, pressing the phone against my ear. Worrying about something horrible happening in the middle of the night.
"Dad? It's late, something wrong?" I say in one breath, left hand clutching the backrest of my chair.
"y/n, nothings wrong. I just need you to listen carefully..”
"Okay." I spit out, just wanting him to get to the point, my brain making up all types of things.
"It's concerning one of my clients. Something unexpected just happened, and he's going to have to stay over at ours for a while."
I pause at his words, frowning in confusion, even though he can’t see my face.
"What? So, you're calling me- because I need to let an unfamiliar guy into our house- so he can sleep here? Is it a criminal?”
I gasp, hand gripping my phone tighter.
“A murderer?! Dad! How can you-”
"-y/n.." He cuts me off, voice stern, but I’m able to hear the grogginess of his tone. He'd probably been sleeping before he was awakened.
"It's no stranger- it's Jude, okay? He's not safe in his own home- relating the case I took on. I offered for him to stay over out of concern for his safety. So, he's going to have to stay with- you for a while."
I stay quiet, taking in all of the information he's giving me. I can already feel a migraine creeping up on me, letting go of my chair to massage my temple with one hand.
"I have to get the guest room- ready?" I say, processing everything and trying to understand what I’m supposed to do.
"Yes, I know you two are- friendly. Please be understanding and responsible. I'll call you in the morning, just get him settled and go to bed. You got that, honey?"
"Yeah, I got it. Uh- I'll get the room ready.." I say, already walking up the stairs and into the guest bedroom.
"Good, again- I'll call you in the morning- good night, sweetie.."
I quickly hang up after saying goodbye, running around, and making the bedroom look presentable. I change the bedsheets and wipe the dust off the vanity with a swift motion. It takes me about ten minutes and a sweaty forehead, before the doorbell rings repeatedly.
I run down the stairs, almost tripping due to my haste.
I take a deep breath when I reach the front door, trying to collect my thoughts and feelings before swinging the door open.
Jude's house was unsafe to stay in, so he's staying here- right..
The front door squeaks when I open it. An exhausted-looking Jude entering my sight, his black suitcase is on the floor, to his right- looking like it’s about to burst at its seams.
Cold air greets my face and naked legs almost instantly, making me curse internally for not changing clothes earlier.
I was too stubborn for my own good..
"Hi- umh, come in?" I say, my voice hoarse as if I hadn't spoken out loud in weeks.
He nods awkwardly, mumbling something incoherent as he begins rolling his suitcase inside.
I motion for him to take his shoes off, which he promptly does without hesitation. I turn away, grabbing some house slippers for him to wear out of the shoe rack.
I throw them next to his feet, watching his eyes flicker up and down as he steps back for a moment.
"You alright?" I ask, worried about the lack of words he's using.
It was unlike him, whether we’re arguing about some stupid shit or I’m filming an interview- he always had something to say.
"Yeah, I'm fine.." He mutters, looking up and finally making eye contact with me.
"The bedroom is upstairs.." I trail off, reaching over to grab his suitcase, but he snatches the heavy luggage up with one hand, immediately making his way up the stairs.
I watch the muscles in his arm flex as I walk behind him. I stop dead in my tracks when I realize what I’m doing and practically start running up the stairs to catch up to him.
I walk ahead of him when we reach the top of the stairs, opening the guest bedroom door for him.
"This is your room, bathroom is there, and the laundry room is over there." I point, turning around to face him.
"Thanks.." His Brum accent is thick, and he looks at me like a lost man in crisis.
I clear my throat, unable to pick between being nice and acting like how we normally interacted.
"Are- do you want to go shower?" I mutter, raising my brows.
I only realize how wrong my sentence sounds the second it leaves my mouth. To cover my embarrassment, I clear my throat again, putting my hands behind my back.
"Yeah- I should.." He responds, and I step aside to let him in the bedroom.
"I'll be downstairs.."
I inform, running down the stairs the second he shuts the door behind him.
I rub my eyes aggressively when I walk into the living room area. Sitting on the couch, I wonder if this is some delusional fever dream.
Maybe it’s just a different genre of dreams, next to those nightmares I had about failing exams.
I mean- who can make this up?
I get up to my feet again, walk up to the fridge, and begin filling up a huge glass with water. I bring the cup up to my lips, and slowly sip on the cool liquid, hoping it will help me feel grounded again.
I exhale deeply when I'm halfway through the cup. Going for my last gulp of water again, I fill my mouth with the rest of the water. My cheeks almost exploding from the amount of water in my mouth.
Suddenly, I'm absolutely- fucking-scared shitless as I'm poked in between my shoulder blades. I turn around in a shift motion, accidentally spraying out the water in my mouth- onto a shirtless Jude's chest.
My eyes almost bug out of my head in shock. My jaw slacks open when I observe the aftermath.
He can only look at me with a blank face. I can’t detect any emotion in his face, but he’s probably equally as mortified as me.
"Shit- sorry.." I blurt, turning around, and grabbing a kitchen towel. I scramble for a second, and start to vigorously..wipe.. his..chest..
I only realize I'm rubbing on his chest like I’m giving him a damn massage- mid-wipe and freeze.
My body goes rigid and my hands are resting on his now dry, naked chest.
I look up at him, only seeing part of his face with help from the dim lights in the kitchen. My breathing slows down, and he looks down at me in return.
I can feel my heart pounding in my ribcage, and I'm sure anyone within meters of me could hear.
His skin is soft and warm underneath my fingertips-
"I- was going to ask how the shower works.." Jude whispers, his warm breath hitting my face. I can make out his brown eyes peering into mine, a series of unspoken and caged words behind them.
His words make me stop breathing for a moment. I remove my hands off of him at lightning speed, the kitchen towel falling to the floor mindlessly and I step back immediately.
"Oh- yeah, sure. Follow me.." I scramble a couple words together, my brain working overtime. I walk up the stairs again. Leading him into the bathroom, noticing he had left the lights on, his discarded shirt on the bathroom counter.
"Here- left is hot, right is cold. This is the best temperature.." I instruct, pointing when necessary and don’t dare to look up at him as he stands behind me.
"This button is for the radio and this one for the ventilation.." I say, pressing some buttons to show him how they work.
"Okay.." He breaths out, his warm breaths hitting the back of my neck. I can practically feel his eyes drilling into the back of my head.
I finally turn to look at him, dragging my gaze up to make awkward eye contact with him.
"Anything else?" I ask, voice low and I begin fidgeting with the hem of my shorts.
"Not really..” He replies, sentence dragged out by his accent.
"Umh- okay.. laundry hamper is there. I'll be in my room.." I trail off, pointing my thumb behind me, and walk out of the bathroom without saying anything else.
I quickly clean up the mess I - no, he caused in the kitchen. I wipe everything down properly and grab my laptop and stationary off the dining table.
I carefully lock the front door and windows on the first floor, setting up the alarm and going back upstairs.
I can hear some noise coming from the bathroom. I begin averting my gaze, just in case Jude walks out of the bathroom half-naked again.
I finally get into my bedroom, jumping into my bed. I try to distract myself with my phone until he's done with showering. So I can finally wash my face and brush my teeth after a long day of studying.
Only, this time- my phone doesn’t seem to be all too interesting. Not even those brainrotting and attention grabbing TikTok’s.
Nothing, and I mean nothing- could distract me from anything that had happened within the past thirty minutes..
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stagefoureddiediaz · 2 days
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ugh this is horrible news tommy is still around, hope to god he's gone in the finale. v
Maybe in your world Nonnie, but not in mine and I'm not entirely sure why you felt the need to come and complain about it on my blog, but here we are!
It makes perfect Narrative sense for Tommy to still be around in the back end of the season, and even possibly into the start of season 8. The show is telling a story of Bucks bisexuality, so why woould they get rid of Tommy so quickly? To do so would do a disservice to that story - a massive disservice. I'm guessing you're hating on this relationship becasue you see it getting in the way of Buddie, rather than viewing it as a vital step on the route to Buddie.
Lets put it into simple terms - Buck figures out he's bi and then begins to explore that newly discovered aspect of himself. The show has also taken the time to move Buck from someone who didn't really do relationships (of the long term variety), into someone who is looking for love and looking for forever. But in amongst all of that, he hasn't really had a healthy long term relationship, the closest he had to that was with Ali and that one didn't last especially long and she wasn't around for most of it
Buck isn't ready for an endgame queer relationship right now - he is still to immature from a relationship perspective - especially a queer relationship perspective. If Eddie was available and he and Buck got together - as they are as characters right now, they wouldn't last - they're not in a position to do so successfully. And this isn't me suggesting that they need to have figured everything out before they get together - to have fully healed etc, because thats neither realistic or something I would want to see - what it means is that they both need to get to a point where they are in a healthy enough place to put in the work together, understand each others flaws, and their own flaws and proactively work towards overcoming those things together and as of right now, neither of them are - they are getting their and moving rapidly in the right direction, but Buck needs to learn a bit more, and in many ways learn how to be with a man, before he will be ready to start anything with Eddie.
The growth we're getting to watch Buck go through right now - in the aftermath of the lightening strike, his reckoning with his mortality etc and the fact he's now off the hamster wheel and moving forward - in a healthy and faster way than we've ever seen from him, speaks volumes.
Tommy is also a far better developed love interest than any other love interest we've seen Buck (or indeed Eddie) with (Abby excepted but she was a main, so had her own purpose on the show)- I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling like I know Tommy more after 3 episodes plus what we got from the begins episodes he was in, than I managed to ascertain about Taylor or Ana or Nataila etc!
Not to mention, him figuring out he's in Love with Eddie as part of this process is going to be fun to watch. The show has made no bones about re-enforcing at every. Single. Opportunity how close, how entwined and how important Buck and Eddie are to one another - the show has quite literally been prioritising that over anything else Buck and Eddie related - Buck was there front and centre - placed very much on an equal footing with Shannon and even Eddie himself in 7x01, and then Eddie was the centre of Bucks bi arc in 7x04 and in his coming out in 7x05. They are literally moving chess pieces into place to tell an amazing story of queer love in later life and creating an epic slow burn for the ages.
And finally, Eddie is, as far as we know at this point in time, still in a relationship with Marisol - why shouldn't Buck get to explore who he is and what he want's within a relationship rather than sitting pining on the sidelines - that isn't healthy in any way shape or form. Eddie still has stuff to figure out about himself.
Even Tim and Oliver have stated in interviews that this is about a happy and joyful queer experience of figuring out bisexuality and therefore within that is giving the narrative a romcom vibe. But they have also stated that Tommy isn't going to be around for that long - that he is very much a narrative device.
It is worth pointing out that timelines on various aspects of the narrative may have been shifted because of the season 8 renewal - but that is only going to help tell the story because now it doesn't have to be rushed. I'm still fully expecting some form of feeling realisation from one of them by the end of the season (my money is on Buck), setting up for season 8 and Buddie going canon either 8a finale or early into 8b.
You have every right to dislike Tommy if thats you jam - have at it, but don't come to my blog and expect me to agree with you. I'm not a multi shipper by any means - I'm a one ship kind of gal and I will be a Buddie shipper until the end of time, but within that, I am here for amazing storytelling and amazing queer storytelling - the like of which I've not had the privilege to watch on my screen before - especially one that hits so close to home. Its a really important story to tell and I'd rather it not be rushed.
And if you had to pick - I'm pretty sure you'd rather have Tommy around for a bit longer that Marisol!!!!
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macgyvermedical · 1 day
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My Experience in Inpatient Psych
So I know a lot of people on here have talked about their experience in inpatient psych facilities, but I'd like to add mine just to give all you writers out there a writer-focused one. It's below the cut just in case you have to sit this one out for your own reasons.
To give you some background, I am 30 years old and have had hallucinations since about 16 and bizarre intrusive thoughts (someone living in my house that wasn't supposed to be there, somebody poisoned my walls, etc...) for about a decade, as well as very severe anxiety since I was about 3 years old. This is something not a lot of people know about me, even people I am friends with IRL.
The only thing I am actually diagnosed with is anxiety, which I'm starting to think is a failing of the psych systems I have been a part of. I have had counseling off and on and prior to this hospitalization I took escitalopram, aripiprazole, and gabapentin prescribed by my primary care doctor- all for the severe anxiety.
Quite frankly, I should have been in inpatient psych at least a few times before this, and it's by sheer dumb luck that I've survived to continue this blog.
On Friday, I was at home alone and made a few pretty bad decisions. I wont say what they were because frankly they're embarrassing, but they have to do with self-harm. I was scheduled to work Saturday and at about 9pm I realized that if I drove myself to work I would crash my car. Since my wife drives me sometimes, I figured I would just ask her to.
I told my wife and she asked- even if she drove me to work, since I was a nurse, would I be able to keep myself safe around insulin or other potentially dangerous drugs? I couldn't answer that question. We talked for a couple hours and came to the conclusion that I probably needed to go to the emergency department.
At this point I figured they would evaluate me and release me because I couldn't possibly meet the criteria for inpatient. I was wrong in this assumption. After telling them the decisions I had made that day, the feelings of wanting to die in a car crash, plus about a previous attempt, they recommended inpatient. Turns out, when you're a nurse, you can make some really bad life choices with the knowledge you have, and they didn't want to take any chances.
I was given paper scrubs to wear (so I couldn't hurt myself with my clothing or a hospital gown). I was also given a patient companion (someone who sits in the room and makes sure you don't hurt yourself).
They gave me the option of signing myself in voluntarily, or putting me on a writ of detention. A writ of detention is a piece of paperwork that allows a medical professional or law enforcement officer to hold someone for 3 days in a psychiatric facility against the person's will for the purposes of psychiatric treatment. Whether you sign the voluntary or get placed on a writ, you cannot sign yourself out. You need to wait until the psychiatrist taking care of you thinks you're ready to go.
I didn't believe at this point I needed to go inpatient, but I took the voluntary option because there are some perks, like being able to leave within 3 days if appropriate. At this point I was convinced I was probably going to have to call off work Saturday and Sunday, probably be out of the hospital Monday, have a few days to rest and be back at work on my next scheduled shift after that, which was Thursday.
Well, that's not what happened.
Because of some of the decisions I had made, along with bed availability, they wanted to keep me in the observation unit overnight before they sent me to psych. I stayed overnight in a unit that shares staff with the unit I work on, so I was taken care of by my coworkers. This was surprisingly not that bad. I like my coworkers and they were really professional about it.
Saturday I felt like I was in a fog all day. I couldn't watch TV. I couldn't color or write. I worked out some in my hospital room and paced the halls once or twice. Mostly I hung out with my wife and occasionally talked with my companion, but even talking was difficult. I had refused ativan because I felt like I had no hope of finding a medication that made me feel better, and I figured I didn't want to take the one medication that might actually work and then not be able to get it ever again.
Around 7PM I took a 45 minute ambulance ride to the facility. Getting my blood pressure taken is a big anxiety trigger for me, but my brain felt so scrambled that I couldn't express this well. They took it every 10 minutes on the ride there and by the time I got there it was in the 170s/100s (BP goes up when you're having severe anxiety). This was not their fault of course, but no matter how much I thought about telling them or refusing the BPs, I just couldn't do it.
When I got to the facility I was greeted by a tech who took my BP again (150s/90s this time), showed me around and looked through my personal belongings (basically just the clothing I came in with since my wife took my phone and wallet knowing I wouldn't be able to have them on the unit) to make sure I didn't have anything I wasn't allowed to on the unit. She showed me around my room and was really thorough with telling me how things worked, what the rules were, etc..
The rules included:
No patients allowed in other patients rooms
No personal belongings that had strings, belts, or laces, or that could be used as a weapon
No caffeine after lunch and no free access to caffeine
No personal electronics (including eReaders and watches). There was a TV in the day room and 2 phones mounted to the wall for patient use
A little later my nurse came into my room and asked me a ton of questions. Here's the thing about any hospital- you get asked the same questions over and over. By the time I'd gotten there I could give my story in under a minute. Or at least, that's what it felt like. There were only 2 clocks on the unit, at the nurses stations.
The unit itself was laid out in a "T" shape. There was a main nurse's station at the place where the two hallways intersected. At the end of the long hallway there was another smaller nurses station, a cafeteria/day room, and a "comfort room" which was a small room off the day room that had a collection of the oldest and worst donated books that have every come together on a bookshelf.
I did some pacing that night and then went to bed, but didn't sleep particularly well.
On Sunday morning the tech woke me up to take my blood pressure, which was, not unsurprisingly, still high. It was about 5 AM so I got up and paced the longer of the corridors for about an hour. Breakfast was served at 8 and the food wasn't that bad. The coffee was about the worst I'd ever drank, which I suppose helped with the no caffeine goals.
Just after breakfast I met with a psychiatrist on an iPad for about half a minute, and I'm not exaggerating there. The only questions he asked were whether I was suicidal and whether I would be fine with tripling my dose of aripiprazole in light of the hallucinations. I had had a 50-lb weight gain in the last year so I asked to switch my med. He switched the med to cariprazine. That was all.
I had a much longer meeting with my nurse later. All the nurses did an excellent job of assessing me, asked tons of questions, and it seemed like they really tried to figure out what was going on. That day I also met with a social worker, and a therapist, and a nurse practitioner. Each of them did an assessment to see what my needs were while I was there.
There was also a music therapy session where I cried my eyes out to Because of You by Kelly Clarkson.
I was really tired by the end of the day but I also didn't think I could sleep so I asked for trazodone. I should clarify that when I say "I" in this piece I really mean my wife convinced me to ask because I legitimately didn't believe I needed or deserved any of the things I asked for at this point. To my utter shock and surprise, they gave me the trazodone.
My first night on trazodone was amazing and I realized I hadn't slept well in a long time. With trazodone I fell asleep and stayed asleep until the blood pressure cart came rolling down the hallway at 5am. The second I got up on Monday morning I was wide awake.
I paced a lot Monday. I went to a goals session in the morning where I gave a goal to write 3/4 of a page. I didn't know if I could do it or what I was even going to write about, but I know I like to write and it might be a reasonable introduction to getting back to life.
I also was having kind of a rough day brain-wise. My brain was coming up with all the ways I could hurt myself in my room. There weren't a lot of them, but it was trying. I told the nurse during her assessment and she asked if I felt I could keep myself safe. I asked her what she would do if I said no. She said they could move me to a more secure part of the unit and give me more supervision. I knew what part of the unit she was talking about, and I didn't want to go there (no space to pace, and pacing was keeping me alive right then). So I told her I could keep myself safe (if anything, the idea of moving was good motivation to do stay safe in itself). I hallucinated some black and white blood cells falling from the ceiling and music coming out of my vents.
I also had another meeting with the social worker to figure out discharge plans. I voiced in the meeting that I wasn't sure that I could trust my wife, since it felt like at the time she was the one who exaggerated my symptoms to get me in here. The social worker said we had really good communication skills, since this was something I felt needed to be said in front of both of them and we both stayed really calm through the whole thing.
I finished the day with an art therapy session that really helped me turn a corner. The prompt was to draw the emotion(s) you felt right now on one side of the paper, and to draw the emotions you wished you could feel on the other side. For the first time I realized that my emotional state was actually really bad and that the suicidality hadn't come out of nowhere, and that I needed help.
When my wife came to visit later that night I was able to tell her about my breakthrough, even though I still felt a little bit like she had done something to get me in here and I still wasn't sure I needed to be inpatient.
Tuesday was a lot better. I felt like I had woken up out of some kind of fog and I had no idea how long I'd been in it. I went to goals group, a spiritual group, and group occupational therapy. My goal was to be more social and I made a friend and we paced together and worked out. I read a quarter of The Martian by Andy Weir (my wife brought it for me because the best thing on the bookshelf was Louis L'Amour). I wrote about how good I suddenly felt. Turns out, I thought, a few days of good sleep, lots of therapy, and a new medication or two will really change things.
A quick side note about The Martian. I highly recommend it to anyone who is chilling in a psych hospital but has the ability to read while they're there (I sure didn't the first few days). I don't really know why, but the first few times I read it, I felt like they had created this superhuman character in Mark Watney just so they could throw a ton of wild things at him for the story. This time reading it, as a suddenly not suicidal person, I realized anyone with Mark's skill would have done the same thing and not just died on Sol 7 to get it over with.
Wednesday I woke up not feeling nearly as good as Tuesday, but still like the fog had lifted. I was a little disappointed (I hallucinated my cat (thanks for coming to visit me, Corina), some spiders, and just felt kinda meh. But I remembered how good I felt the day before, and that really kept me hopeful about going home.
I saw the psychiatrist again and asked to go home. He joked a little about me staying till Christmas, but ultimately he said as soon as his note was in I could go. I ended up leaving at about 12:30 with my wife.
In the time since leaving I have required a lot of support from my wife. The medications are all locked up, so are the blades and anything I could use to hurt myself. My wife has me in eyeshot at all times. I can't drive due to intrusive thoughts, so she does all the driving now. I quit my job because I feel like it was a big part of why I ended up as bad as I was. As someone who has been a pretty independent person this is a big change of pace, but something that is really necessary to my healing.
Ultimately at the end of my hospital stay, I was prescribed escitalopram, gabapentin, trazodone, cariprazine, and then a few days later propranolol. I'm currently on a total of 5 psych meds and honestly I don't care one bit because its so much better than being not on them at this point in my life.
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ladysroom-zaza · 2 days
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Karina and Giselle spotting you in the audience at their concert and inviting you back to their hotel where Karina sits on your face while Giselle ✂️ you
Concerts are some of the better memories for many of us: they are fun, they makes us cheer loudly and cry a lot; but there is a concert in particular you won't ever forget. But for sure you couldn't know that when you went to the Aespa stop in your city. You were so hyped about that night, you were even able to get a ticket for the first rows. It didn't matter if you were alone, because you had such a majestic visual.
Furthermore you didn't remember that there was SO MUCH fanservice during concerts, but for some reasons Karina and Giselle always showed up to your side and interacted with you. Now, imagine your surprise when a staff member asked you if you wanted to have a special fan experience, available just for few lucky fan. You obviously accepted.
The staff member brought you to the group van and made you sit behind between the two girls who interacted with you so much during the past hours. "Hi pretty", Gigi said, pulling in a very "affectionate" hug, but you were so happy that you didn't notice her hands tasting your curves. "Hello, it's good to have such beautiful fans", Karina said instead, going for a kiss on the cheek, very close to your lips tho.
The van didn't take long to reach the hotel, but the three of you got close really quickly, with the girls being very touchy with you. And things got "worse" in their hotel room. You were straight kissing both of them in turn, while their hands were slowly removing your clothes: the shoes, the hoodie, the group t-shirt, the skirt...
In no time you were just wearing your soaked wet panty, while them were wearing everything...except them. They didn't need to get naked to realize their plan. "Don't be afraid, you will have a great time with us", the japanese girl said, grinning, before pushing you on their bed and remove the last and wet piece of clothes remaining.
She put her long and thicc legs between your yours, until your two pussies touched each other. She slowly started to grind her folds against yours, making both of you slightly moan. But your moans were muffled by the fact that Karina delicious ass appeared out of nowhere and sat on your moaning face.
"You were singing so well our songs during the concert, let's see if that mouth is good for something else", she told, rubbing her pussy on your mouth. "Come on, use that tongue, whore", she ordered you, slapping your tits and you obeyed, starting to move your tongue inside her hole.
"Mmm, unnie, I love when you're so bossy", Giselle commented, pulling the older girl in a passionate kiss, before gaining speed in her movements, basically now slapping her pussy against yours, splashing juices everywhere. You couldn't resist any longer to that feeling and you quickly cummed, moaning so loudly that the vibration of your voices made squirt Karina, almost drowning you.
"Such a good toy, lucky for use the night is still long", the leader commented, pulling your hair to make you clean her leaking pussy with tour mouth; meanwhile Giselle was recovering from her orgasm but without letting you do the same: her fingers were moving so fast inside your cunt, making you cum for a second time. It was in that moment that you understood that you won't ever forget that concert, or better, what has come next.
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Text
is it over now? (was it over then?)
part three
part four: say the one thing i've been wanting
Steve had been dreading actually talking about this with Robin. He hadn't wanted to put her in a position to feel like she had to come out or stop using him as a plus one to industry parties to fuel rumors. Even as he and Eddie pretty publicly dated Robin's agent and most tabloids still thought Robin and Steve were a couple some even going as far as insinuating Eddie was Steve's side piece or their third.
"Steve, you're kind of scaring me, what's going on?"
"Birdie, I'm only telling you this because I can't not anymore but I want you to know nothing is your fault and I literally don't need you to do anything. I just need to be able to talk to my best friend and in order to do that I kind of have to get through this uncomfortable part," Steve answered.
"Anything, Steve. Whatever you need," Robin said.
"Okay, so Eddie and I kind of broke up because Eddie assumed I was cheating on him with Nance when she came to visit earlier this year. He got really upset and kind of blocked me from any way of contacting him so there was no way to clear anything up after he left but he definitely assumed I was cheating on him and he wrote that fucking song and I just need to talk to you without leaving out this really huge massive reason why Eddie left and why I still feel like total shit," Steve rushed to cover the main points.
"Steve, hun," Nance comforted. She probably guessed something else was going on but had been understanding enough not to press Steve for more.
"Steve, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault," Robin started catastrophizing.
"Can you please stop saying my name. It's kind of freaking me out," Steve joked, "Robs, it's totally not your fault at all. It was a shitty situation I could have handled better and so could Eddie but there's really nothing to do about it know because I can't explain it to him and he clearly doesn't want me to so we are moving on, all right?" Steve attempted to keep the energy light.
"If that's what you want, sure babe," Robin said.
"I just want to stop going down Tik Tok rabbit holes of Eddie's stupid song without being able to complain to you about how fucking tired I am of not being able to do anything," Steve said, "and also I want so much ice cream and a really stupid TV marathon with my best girls and maybe roast Eddie's new song a little bit."
Nancy had already pulled up doordash and they were soon on their way to eating a smorgasbord of snacks and ice cream while watching reality TV and eventually dissolving into a karaoke session initially overdramatically singing along to Eddie's knew single and ending with some old school Taylor (her version of course). Steve was feeling better than he had in a long time and started getting out of the fog he'd been in since Eddie had left.
Eventually, Steve started answering his agent's emails again and submitting tape for different roles. He'd gotten a part in a small indie film in Italy and Steve was pretty ready to take it. It was an interesting part, it was literally away from everyone he knew, the director was kind of weird and didn't let his cast use socials while filming and encouraged only phone calls and old school letters to really get into the period mindset. It was honestly kind of a perfect next project and it helped that the script was actually kind of great.
"As long as you aren't going because you're running away, Steve. You know I don't want you to leave and you shouldn't feel like you have to," Robin said as he was starting to pack his bags.
"I really like the project. It's a good script and I get to get out of my own head for a while. Kind of perfect honestly. The shoot is pretty short its only like four weeks so I won't be gone that long and you and Nancy can keep holing up in my apartment without me getting in the way!" Steve answered.
"You're never in the way, dingus," Robin nudged him and then brought him into a hug, "we'll just miss you kiddo."
"I'll miss you too, Bobbie. Now let me go so I can pack." Steve pulled away with a bigger smile than he'd had in weeks.
@lololol-1234 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @zombiethingy (if you wanna be tagged in future parts feel free to comment! happy to add people)
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m1dn1ght-jade · 2 days
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Hello! This is the first piece of writing i've ever actually posted, so please be kind! There's no like heavy nsfw or whatever, too nervous to write that stuff yet, but just wanted to see if anyone would like this. Also apologies if the end is kinda abrupt or unfinished. If anyone does take the time to read this, please enjoy, and thank you for reading!
prof!abby anderson x reader // ~550 words // based loosely on this post I made // not proof read
includes (i dont know how to do tags, bear with me) : implied reader shower masturbation, implied shower sex, nudity, established relationship, neck kissing??
nsfw under the cut, 18+ only please and thank you! enjoy :)
Abby wasn't too proud of her decision to end her classes for the day early, but she certainly didn't regret the decision. She quickly packed up her stuff, and shot you a quick text:
Abby: "Class ended early! Omw back now."
When she didn't hear anything in response after a moment, she just clued up her belongings and decided she would meet you at home. She was hasty as she made her way out to her car in the parking lot, it was a nice day out, warm and sunny as summer was approaching, she made a mental note to ask you if you would like to go out with her this evening, perhaps for a nice walk together. She let out a soft sigh as she turned on her car, her hands smoothing over the material of her slacks, stretched over her muscular thighs. Once she was situated she finally began the short drive home, her thoughts on you the whole time. She wondered about what you may be doing right now, maybe you were making some food, or perhaps having a nap; she really hoped you hadn't left the house, she would understand if you had, but she desperately wanted to see you.
--------------------------------------------
Once Abby made it to the complex she was quick to make it up to your guys' apartment. She unlocked the door and slipped in, she noticed your favourite shoes and your sweater by the entrance, and a smile spread across her lips as she figured you were home. She slipped off her own shoes before making her way through the apartment, undoing the top few buttons on her shirt she had worn to work, rolling out the tension in her shoulders. It wasn't long until she figured out where you were, as she heard the sound of the shower running from your shared bathroom, which was quickly followed by the quiet sounds of your moans, her own name tumbling from your lips, barely audible through the door, but she heard you.
She made her way to the bedroom instead, taking off her shirt and pants from the day, neatly putting them in the laundry bin. Once she was down to her boyshort underwear, and she took the elastic out of her hair, letting the braid it had been in fall loose, she made her way down to the bathroom. She knocked a couple times to announce her presence, before slipping into the bathroom, smirking slightly as she was greeted by the sight of you- beads of water all over your skin, your breathing slightly ragged, and most importantly, your hand nestled between your thighs.
She slipped off her final article of clothing before quickly joining you in the warm shower, her muscular arms wrapping around you, pulling you close to her. You asked her about her being home early, but her mind was already elsewhere, muttering that she had ended class early as her kisses trailed along your skin, down your neck. Her hands ran along your body, pride and arousal surging through her as she felt your hands gripping back at her, as she heard your moans echoing around her. Any thoughts or worries about ending her classes early to see you disappeared from her mind, only you consumed her thoughts now, and now that she was home, she could give you everything you craved.
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yuri-is-online · 3 days
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Keep thinking bout Yutu and his relationship to his dad. Like we know a little more about Ace, Floyd, Azul and Riddle (maybe I miss someone else?) but I was curious about other details or interactions with the other Overblot boys.
Like how does talking with someone who tries his best to not get involved in other people's business like Jamil work for making his parents fall in love (if that's even something Yutu can see happening with how distant he is)? How does Yutu go about trying to lay some clues for Vil without being found when Vil's doing his best (with Rook's help) to figure out what's going on?
Or what about the shenanigans Ortho would get to to ensure Idia and Yuu get together so they can try to stop the apocalypse and how would Yutu feel about having at least one person (his uncle at that!) who he can rely on? Or does Yutu ever find himself in a situation that makes him go "oh, I could've had this with dad if it weren't for the council" whenever Malleus says something deep without realizing?
Gaaaaahhhhh I just really like this au and I wanna ask you so many questions but I also don't wanna be annoying
ask is referencing the fyuuture kid au, information on which can be found here and here, or under the series section on my masterlist.
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No one is annoying for asking questions! I have asks for Idia and Leona's Yutus, which I think makes every overblot boy except for Jamil and Vil due for a detailed post. Azul! Yutu is a bit of a grey area since I have talked about him a bunch but haven't done detailed hc for him. Yet anyway, Jade and Floyd got one so he needs one too otherwise it'll bug me.
Jamil! Yutu absolutely has a lot of guilt and self hatred around his entire existence. As I talked about in the post about the main cast, Jamil was executed in Yutu's future, and he feels personally responsible for that. If his dad had never fallen in love with Yuu then he would have had a chance at his freedom, that's how Yutu has come to see it anyway. He doesn't want Jamil to fall in love with Yuu, even if it means erasing his existence. Down that road lies only tragedy, but there is also something so beautiful about the way Jamil interacts with Yuu when he thinks no one is looking. There is a degree of mutual respect for how hard the other works and intense desire for approval and praise he can sympathize with. He just doesn't see a way for this to end well if it's allowed to continue, he's a very pessimistic kid Jamil! Yutu. But then again the others didn't have to see the rotted corpse of their father getting dragged around by a blot phantom and be told by a few angry relatives of Kalim that he is the one who put him there.
Vil! Yutu is a bit afraid of his dad. He knows from personal experience that the man is intense and does not take no for an answer but he's never been in the position to see 1) what a good thing that can be or 2) just how silly that can make him act. He's also NEVER had to contend with the real Rook before. The Rook he's familiar with is a mindless monster, dangerous sure, but with patterns you can memorize and protect yourself from. This guy is just wild, sure his dad says that he's only putting up for his behavior "for now" but someone tell him where the fucking line is??? The last thing he wants is to just say everything and risk ruining the timeline but Vil keeps demanding specifics. The main thing Yutu tries to do is get him cooperating with Idia in learning about blot phantoms, the way he sees it things will be much easier if his two most trusted adults are on the same page. It's not a difficult ask either post chapter six, I think Vil is someone who would want to understand what happened to him on a scientific level to some degree, but oh Yutu. Now you've just made him wonder how you know that little piece of information, not everyone knows about his overblot, but he didn't know that bit did he?
Ortho and Idia! Yutu wind up being very close. Having his uncle on his side puts Yutu in a much more stable place emotionally and mentally than other Yutus. They spend a lot of time analyzing old records about blot and phantoms, everyone else is convinced they're just hyping each other up for some weird PhD project inspired by the Ramshackle Prefect's time at NRC and hey. They aren't exactly wrong. As for how they go about trying to get Idia and Yuu together... it's a lot of anime recommendations and conveniently forgetting they had something else to do. Yutu has just as in depth knowledge of Idia's tastes as Ortho does, and the added bonus of knowing Yuu's, so they search through lists of things, pick out the shows they know will get the two of you talking and then sit back and let you interact. Yutu is genuinely confused about why or if this is working... but Ortho did send him a video of his dad hyping himself up to try and ask you out (he over heated and just hid inside his room instead but hey. It's the thought that counts.)
Malleus! Yutu just got his post here. And yes he does think regularly about what he could have had with his father if things had been different, but a lot of those thoughts come from his sillier moments. Hearing Malleus talk at length about ruins or seeing him confused about how to interact with technology make him seem more... human for lack of a better term to him. He's very familiar with the myth of Malleus Draconia, but he wasn't fathered by a myth. He was fathered by a man who fell in love with a human under very extraordinary circumstances and Yutu wants to know about why. What things did Malleus like most about Yuu? About Twisted Wonderland? If he had gotten a chance to be raised by him what things would Malleus have wanted to teach him? Would he be any different?
Azul! Yutu is also afraid of his dad, but not based on any personal experiences just his own insecurities. He's not a thin guy, he's not in Octavinelle, and he is extremely worried that his dad will see him as some sort of stupid muscle head and be disappointed in having him. He's also, understandably, extremely angry at him when he learns what he did in Book 3 to his parent. Fuck this guy, he'll just save Yuu himself and hopefully if they still get together he'll grow up to be a totally different person when he's born in this good timeline. But there's just something about Azul's approval that he can't help but want now that drives him crazy. Why can't he just be ok with being alone? He has been all this time anyway...
(Meanwhile Azul is deeply impressed with how well Yutu is at disguising himself as a dumb muscle head. Just look at the kid, he's got everyone thinking he just is controlling their shadows while he's actually using a really complicated bit of cosmic magic. Suckers all of them. Not him though. He's not being fooled by anything about Yutu, no sir.)
Leona, Leona, Leona. He's tricky for me to write. Scar apparently has children? In one the the Lion King sequels? Leona's dislike of kids seems to come from his complicated feelings around the throne and his want for people to be independent. I think he would be one of those gruff intense kind of dads who does the whole "we are never getting a pet" thing and then you see him asleep on the recliner with Princess Nooodles III chilling on his lap with him. Anyway back to Yutu-
Leona! Yutu's relationship with his dad is tempered by the fact Leona knows who and what he is from the start and demands to know why he has traveled back in time. He doesn't explicitly say he knows that he is his father or that Yuu is his other parent, just that he knows time travel is involved, so they have a fairly open amount of communication regarding the overblot "business" but not on much else. Yutu has a desire to understand his father and Leona has a desire to not disappoint him. Who would want their dad to be the second prince? He's destined for nothing but a miserable life anyway, all of the responsibility and none of the privilege (outside of the money but lets be real, Leona's ass does not understand that.) I don't think either Leona or Yutu fully understands that his existence is enough for the other to be happy. When they are forced to talk about it they both laugh it off and roll their eyes at how cheesy that sounds but deep down it means a lot to both of them.
Riddle! Yutu has gotten a lot of posts about him and his "hatred" of his dad but I thought I'd take this post to mention I like the idea of Yutu's favorite food being the chestnut tarts/mont blanc that aren't allowed at Unbirthday Parties but that Riddle still wanted to eat anyway. He's a lot like his father in his love of sweets and his determined denial of it, but he isn't the exact same. Also gives him one more thing to pick a fight with Riddle over (his dad doesn't get the big deal, they can just have a private tea party with Yuu and have all the different sweets they want... can't they?)
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thebestpumkin · 2 days
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- title - happy birthday, chuuya!
- pairing - chuuya nakahara x reader
- character(s) mentioned - ogai mori
- word count - 566
- summary - celebrating your totally whipped boyfriend's birthday with him.
- tw - i'm pushing my soft chuuya agenda sorry, established relationship, alcohol mention, chuuya gets drunk and passes out, lmk if there are any to add!
- a/n at the bottom!
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Chuuya doesn't think he's ever felt quite so normal.
Human, even.
It's a wonder that all it took for him to feel this way is walking hand-in-hand with you, on your way home.
He thinks he likes that word. Home. It rolls off your tongue so easily as you pay the bill - despite his protests - "Let's go home, yeah?" And he's gotten used to it. He thinks he already found his home, in you - as corny as it sounds.
Nevertheless, he's taking you back to his place to celebrate, pressed to your side and babbling on meaninglessly about something or other concerning some new show he saw. And yet you're looking at him with so much love and adoration in your eyes, as if he hung every star up in the sky, as if what he's saying is something worth listening to.
He lets you into his lavish penthouse and watches as you sit down. You sit so comfortably on his couch, as if it was your own, as if this whole place was yours, too. In a way, it is, he thinks. You own his heart, why not everything else he has to his name? He brings out a bottle of wine and two glasses while you turn on the TV.
He's not sure when or how, but he ended up asleep in your arms while you were entirely focused on whatever show you'd put on his flatscreen. He'd likely gotten drunk, he realizes, looking out at the dark sky through his floor-to-ceiling windows. You didn't mind, having had to take care of him when he was off his ass more times than you could count on your fingers. He loved you for that.
He tries to stay up after that, boiling some gas station ramen he had stashed away. He spends the rest of the night slurping noodles with you while you try to catch him up on everything he missed while taking a nap - who knew a show could spring so much information on its audience within a couple episodes?
He keeps stealing glances at you and your attractive face. It's a wonder you've stayed with him, he thinks. A wonder that you love him just as much as he loves you. His breath hitches. You're beautiful. He knows that, already. But, for some reason, seeing your face lit up with the light of the screen and your eyes completely focused on the show he's given up on trying to understand...he leans forward and captures your lips in his. He doesn't know what else to do when you look like that. He loves you, so, so much.
And he spends his birthday that way - and he wouldn't have it any other way. He doesn't care what he does for his next birthday, as long as you're by his side. And, really, that applies to every single day. He couldn't care less if he had mountains of paperwork that Mori assigns to him, as long as you're there to encourage him. He wouldn't mind it if he had to go into a fight, as long as he could come home to you so you could kiss his hurting away. Everything would be okay as long as you were there at his side. He'll spend all his birthdays with you, hoping you'll love him even when he's gray and old, just because...it's you.
pumkin speaks: yeah, okay, i totally didn't write something for inosuke's birthday a few days ago, sue me. BUT i think i deserve a pat on the back for this one. this is that chuuya piece that i said i had the pretty sounding beginning for but no idea where to go from there, iykyk. i finished tokyo revengers btw! oh, and i'm watching wind breaker, too - i'm all caught up w it. and i'm on ep 7 of banana fish due to peer pressure from friends...ps wtf is that show its so...wow. anyway! thats all ive got, i think. sorry for continuing to push the soft chuuya agenda. i just cant imagine him being any other way if he were in love 😕😕 okay that's all. bye, happy scrolling!
likes, reblogs, requests, and feedback are vv appreciated! divider credits go to r0se-designs. thanks for reading, have a nice day!
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tuesday again 4/30/2024
most annoying book i've read so far this year under the jump
listening
a lovely polyrhythmic instrumental piece with previously-featured tuesdaysong artist, terrifying master of the cello, abel selaocoe. this is very textured and kind of scrubs at the inside of my skull in a pleasing way. like the kind of back scrubber you can buy with a bamboo handle and the long soft bristles. popped up on my recent releases playlist from spotify.
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reading
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really fucking pissed about this book and i am not able to be reasonable about it. i was really thrown, much like the fantasy prince's mother from her carriage as she was being chased by regency gossip reporters, that this was a prince harry/meghan markle RPF AU. i am a bit uncomfy about the fact that our female lead, the fantasy AU meghan markle, is some flavor of fantasy Gaelic instead of fantasy mixed-race. now, i have no particular moral or physical beef with RPF but i don't typically seek it out. but/also/and, much like works about marilyn monroe, i think works with the specter of princess diana are in poor taste. can we leave these women alone maybe
i got about halfway through the book before this revelation and didn't really feel like it succeeded at much of anything it was trying to do. oddly informal and choppy, like it was originally intended as a contemporary romance with some urban magic and changed to regency in a late draft. this is combined with some fairly weak prose: more simple sentence structure than i would expect in a book for young adults, far too many proper nouns, and a lack of interest in showing not telling.
i straight up don't understand why the leads are attracted to each other if she keeps making very public mistakes and he's a rude cunt. i have read other books (most recently the t kingfisher books) where someone grows to love a very gruff or taciturn man, but it takes time and mutual trust and an effort on both sides, none of which happen here. the core conflict is duty to family in all its various forms vs the heart wants what the heart wants. the conflict is not much of a conflict, though, because characters come to realizations within three sentences of confronting them and then vocalize them with therapyspeak. someone literally pats someone else's hand and goes, "It's hard, I know." the author mercifully did not describe the sad little pursed sympathy mouth but i'm sure it was there.
i'm also deeply annoyed with how this author chose to go about characterization. while the character concepts are people i would love to meet in a ttrpg, it feels very concerned about Good Representation and it makes everyone feel very wooden. i think when you put together characters from a list of various oppressions and disabilities it starts feeling like a grownup version of a children’s ensemble show meant to sell little blind box figurines. here is the Chronically Ill one, and her color is pink! here is the Addicted one, and his color is green! here is the Goth and Depressed one, and her color is black with some bones! here is the Gay one who was once badly hurt by the Addicted one, and we don’t care enough about him to give him a color! here is the superficially fantasy-Jewish one, and we don’t care enough about her to give her a color or an action figure either!
while normally i would love to read a book with two! TWO! canonically bisexual leads of different genders! this book is written for the "folx" spectrum of gays instead of the "fags" part of the spectrum and it strays very close to a modern morality tale for me.
this popped up on a list of books with bi leads i think, but if it was here or on libby i cannot remember.
anyway! fucking hated this one.
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pleasantly surprised these came in back to back off my holds lists, bc they are about the perfumer Grace and Grace's former landlord, the spy Marguerite. my favorite of these Saint of Steel series is still the one with the werebear nun. i have nothing to complain about these books and not much to say about them either. they were such a delightful and competent change of pace after the annoyance of the previously discussed book.
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oh i loved these. oh i LOOOOOOVED these. how the fuck does novik do it. she is so good at capturing the very specific feel of a grandpa military historical novel. except with dragons. i love these in the same way i know i will love the patrick o'brien books if i ever get around to reading them. i was a navy brat and unfortunately this is fucking catnip to me. truly i have inherited all my father's tastes
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watching
largely fallow week. i don't have anything particularly great to say about The Bad Batch, but when have i ever. have not caught up with dunmeishi bc my siblings have once again inadvertently locked me out of the netflix account i pay for. considering a vpn for many reasons but watching netflix and watching porn (the state of texas does not want me or anyone else to watch porn within her borders) are the two big reasons for. idk. cashing out the paltry cash-back credit card rewards and coughing them up for a vpn. vpn opinions welcomed, i know most of them are straight garbage
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playing
i straight up ran out of money in genshin, which is pretty hard to do since they're pretty generous with it? i have spent several million in-game currency on leveling up neuvilette (i am so so so happy to not have to collect any fucking starfish mats for him anymore [mats are different materials you have to collect or buy in-game in order to level up a character. very grindy most of the time]). anyway i am now scrabbling around for the last couple chests and puzzles i marked on my map in fontaine. i haven't bothered with grinding for his specific boosting artifacts or leveling up his talents all the way yet but this is really not shabby. i have the bad habit of completely levelling up all my 5-stars and then ignoring them until i need them for a specific fight or a specific level of the monthly..battle royale puzzle? i don't really know how to describe the abyss. anyway when i do eventually need his pretty intense water AOE attacks i will frantically grind for his talent mats. right now we're grinding for other things thanks
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this latest update contains both the best and worst new areas so far. the underwater lost city of Remuria is a fuckin banger. gorgeous. incredible puzzles. very fun music-based quest line with new abilities and giant whale. however, im kind of disappointed by the new coastline area in the map: there is pretty much nothing there. almost no interactable plants to harvest, very few enemies, almost no chests. i get that they are focusing their time and attention on the new underwater area everyone will be focusing on (killer, btw, super dense and great use of vertical space). very lore-heavy expansion, sort of what if atlantis was a bit roman-inspired and also. hold on. wait a second.
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sorry this has just occurred to me at 10:21 PM on Monday night as im drafting this but oh my god are the fucking fontanians the Sea Peoples of the bronze age collapse. this is hysterically funny lore if true. im going to have to go back and reread a lot of the environmental storytelling notes but oh my GOD that's extremely funny if true. genshin has some of the most batshit lore of any game ive ever played and im so sad that so few game journos are focusing on it.
where was i. leveling up characters in legally-not-france who may or may not be descendants of the sea peoples. i often find myself leveling up characters in genshin not based on how useful they are to the party but by how fun the bosses i need to fight for their mats are? for example: neuvilette is a water-based AOE character with not a lot of on-field time. however this big electric seahorse, whose antlers i need to level him up, is really fun to fight and i can knock it out in about thirty seconds.
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making
my sister's birthday is tomorrow! my birthday package to her was kind of heavy on stupid little trinkets and art books and not very much like. homemade? so i cranked out a little sampler. it's framed i promise i simply forgot to take a picture of it framed. about 3"x3", slightly adapted from a piece in Julie Jackson's Subversive Cross Stitch. i do think the F and C turned out way better (or at least the backstitching stands out way more) but hey. sometimes you need to hastily stitch a gift with the limited colors you have on hand
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blacklegsanjiii · 18 hours
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Can you imagine if the Vinsmokes gained their emotions back when Sanji saves their lives at WCI, but it kinda hits them all at once, so they become massively attached to Sanji.
21+ years of familial love for their brother smacks them in the face, only for them to find out Sanji has REALLY over protective boyfriends in ASL who monopolize Sanji all the time (this can be the gods au or just regular ASL+S)
Gods can you imagine the guilt? Not only just all that love but the guilt, shame, embarrassment, and horror at what they've done. Reiju just watching them and Ichiji asking her why she never stopped them, how often she helped Sanji after what they did? He needs to know and the answers 'i didn't want the attention ' and 'not enough' rip through his chest like niji's lightning.
Sanji's gone, with his crew and they've only just escaped Big Mom's pirates and her prison and everything so they're not exactly primed for the real world. But without Germa and being free means they need to find their own way. So uhh, they guess first things they'll go find Zeff and thank him? And they do. Zeff and everyone is confused about the apology/thanks combo they're getting. Especially because it revolves around Sanji and Germa. Zeff is ready to kill them all but Patty says they can work for their forgiveness and puts them in the dishpit.
It's good for them, they're working through a lot of things and Zeff keeps making them push back against him verbally. They're...healing, but they need more but at least they're also developing some skills that can help them in their pursuit. Over time, maybe about a year ish later they decide to find Sanji. To go apologize, they won't ask for forgiveness, it's not something they deserve but he needs to their regret, their sorrow, their change. For them to be like him like their mother wanted. Maybe their skin is no longer metal, still extremely durable but they can be bleed.
Following the Strawhats is a challenge and Zeff warned them about it though. He gives them his lot of the Grand Line, a log post, and demands letters. They agree as Reiju stays with Zeff. As they set sail Zeff tells them to not be afraid of Sanji's boyfriends, they'll understand eventually! Which makes Niji ask the hell that means to no response. It takes a few months but they're doing fine. Mostly.
The New World is a bigger challenge than they expected but when they catch up the crew is fighting Marines and it's all an out assault from both sides. Ichiji says they should attack the Marines so they do with their powers and uhhh, is that a guy with three swords coming after them? Oh shit it's that Roronoa Zoro guy! Fuck!
Yonji is trying to calm him down while evading him. Ichiji and Niji are still focusing on actually fighting the Marines who start to retreat and the fire dives down so Luffy snaps onto their ship with a rubbery twang and pure anger and Nami, the hot chick they remember is there on a cloud. Right. Okay. They can do this!
"You broke the agreement so we're going to sink your ship!" Luffy yells at them in warning.
"We want to to apologize to Sanji." Ichiji says evenly.
"I'll see if he even wants to talk to you after what happened." Nami growls as the cloud takes her back. They get a signal to meet at the ship. Not to board, so it's kind of awkward with the height differences between the ships. Luffy and Zoro jump up onto their ship as Luffy slings an arm around Sanji with a cowboy guy who is glaring viciously at them.
"Speak your piece and get the fuck away!" Sanji yells at them.
"Were sorry! We are not owed forgiveness for anything!" Yonji starts.
"That's not an apology." The cowboy says.
"Oh, Sabo's going suuuper to love this." The robot says.
"Ah, do you want us to say? We don't know what you told them and don't want to cause more problems." Ichiji asks.
"Start with the cuffs." Luffy demands.
"Cuffs?" A few voices ask.
"Sorry we let Judge put those on you!" Ichiji says with a wince.
"Sorry for our childhoods!" Niji yells. "And electrocuting you with that plate in your back, especially. And calling you a failure after you got shot."
"Wait-" Zoro tries.
"Sorry about the dungeon?" Yonji tries which flummoxes the rest of the crew except Sanji.
"Oh my God they're going to die." Nami says.
"Zeff says you should write more, he's kind of been doing the whole push back thing he did with you? Reiju's still there." Ichiji says.
"Alright, I'll write to the fucking geezer but if I see any of you before I come back to Baratie I'm not who you have to worry about." Sanji threatens.
"Just one?" Luffy asks.
"Nah, let Sabo deal with them." Cowboy says. "Zeff is more likely to forgive him."
"Doubt that, lets get the fuck outta here, I need to start lunch." Sanji says walking away from the railing. With the crew chattering after him. When the brothers get home a few months later there's a blond guy talking with Reiju and Zeff and smiling politely with another orange haired girl beside him.
"Don't threaten them too much." Zeff warns.
"I would never sully this fine established like that." The blond says with mock offense.
"Don't sully it with blood either." Zeff stresses.
"Of course not! I'll do it elsewhere and no one will know." The blond smiles at the chef. "Bye guys!" He chirps, grabbing a pipe from the floor and leaves with the other girl who mimics slitting her throat at them with a smile as she skips out the door.
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bahrtofane · 3 days
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dialogue 7 trope 8 with tchouameni pls. so happy that ppl are finally writing for him 🥹❤️
- "ooohh you wanna kiss me sooo bad." - Bodyguard au
happy to write for him! he needs more love enjooyyyy
word count - 800+
watch it - flirty tch and weapon mentioned like once enjoyy
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You know you're not a very stereotypical bodyguard. Shorter than most, no rippling muscles that tear shirts apart. It does give you the advantage of surprise. No one expects you. Even more so for the man you've been tasked to protect. 
You know they hired you specifically to blend in and so you do. Still keeping close but you look like you could be anything from a part of the crowd to a friend and whatever more. You've seen yourself on a few gossip pages and on news articles here and there. 
They have yet to put the pieces together and you want to keep it that way. You have a job to do and a man to protect. A man that for the life of you you can't understand. 
He's an enigma on a good day. Aurélien keeps a curious eye on you, eager to watch you. But yet so hesitant. 
He doesn't talk to you all that much, but when he does he manages to squeeze playful words in between each sentence. Always catching you off guard. He goes from being honed in and focused to letting his shoulders loose in a laugh. 
Today seems like no exception. You wait in the wings backstage of an event. It's just a rehearsal for the actual thing yet you're here. Its empty save for stage screws running about with wires and microphones tangled on the floor. 
You stand arms crossed a few feet away from where Aurélien is being fitted with different wires and what not. He speaks, arms waving lazily and nodding along to whatever his agent is saying. You haven't talked to him today yet. 
He spots you soon enough, giving you a wave while you respond with a curt nod. He gets shown to where you stand, told to “hang out” here for a second while they adjust the lighting. 
“Didn't know they dragged you here too?” he says, hands resting inside the pockets of his jacket. 
“I have a job to do.” you shrug. 
“Does it even get boring? Being around the same person all the time. I know I get tired.”
Your expression remains neutral, though a spark of amusement flickers in your eyes. "Perhaps," you hum, "But that doesn't change the fact that I'm here to protect you, whether you like it or not."
He grins, gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before turning back to watch the lights cycle through the different settings. "Well, in that case, I suppose I'll just have to make your job as interesting as possible," he says with a lazy shrug. 
You roll your eyes, but cant help the small smile that tugs at your lips. "I have no doubt you will," you reply dryly 
Aurélien gives you a playful smirk before leaning in slightly, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper. "You know," he says, amusement dancing in his eyes, "sometimes I wonder if all this protection is just an excuse to be close to me."
You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed by his attempt at flirting. "Don't flatter yourself," you retort, though you can't stop the smile that seems between your words. He's bold today. 
Leave it to Aurélien to find a way to wiggle into your personal space and under your skin with his words so early in the day. And you have so many more hours left with him. How thrilling. 
He chuckles softly, leaning even closer until his breath brushes against your ear. "Oh, come on," he murmurs, "we both know deep down, you wanna kiss me sooo bad."
You can't help but laugh, shaking your head at his shameless antics. "You wish," you reply, giving him a playful shove before straightening up, feeling the waistband of your pants for your weapon. Old habits die hard you suppose. 
Aurélien grins, the playful glint returning to his eyes as he steps back, resuming his role in the rehearsal.
You don't know what game he really plays. If his words really hold any meaning. If you should listen. So you choose the safe route and brush them off and try to do your job. Even if he insists on making it near impossible. 
He sends you knowing looks from the other side of the backstage area. Ones you know would easily strike up talk. But you can't talk your eyes off him. Partly because of your job and partly due to him being so- what's the word- dazzling. 
You do want to kiss him, but he doesn't need to know that. Not now at least.
For now you watch him do his thing while you try to do your job and push away his voice from ringing in your ears over and over. 
we both know deep down
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captainhunnicutt · 3 days
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I was watching Commander Pierce, today and had some thoughts. I feel like, this is one of those episodes where the viewer is supposed to think Hawkeye is being a jerk with his "leadership style," and how he overdid it etc. etc. but the more I think about it... the more I feel bad for him. I don't think he was actually at fault here as much as initially thought.
Hawkeye knows who he is. He knows what his faults are and doesn't try to pretend they aren't there. He even says he isn't fit to lead. His insignia is a cringing chicken. He doesn't know how to give orders. He legitimately gives every reason putting him in charge is a bad idea - and not one person takes him seriously. I feel like sometimes, throughout the show, this theme reappears. People don't listen or take Hawkeye seriously because he says things in such a way that makes it sound like he's cracking a joke - but behind every joke there is some semblance of truth. And it feels like an argument could be made that that particular consideration isn't often awarded to Hawkeye. It's the exact opposite of BJ - who delivers a lot of very telling statements calmly and collected and no one pays any attention. Like when BJ says in Our Finest Hour that the war has made him angry, and we all act surprise (the only person who doesnt is Hawkeye) when he lashes out in BJ Papa San. It's the same idea. They aren't taken seriously, and that feels like the most dehumanizing thing, which in turn feels like commentary on soldiers/draftees in general. They are just chess pieces in one large game that never seems to end.
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But anyway, Hawkeye doesn't think he can lead, but he really is a natural leader. He leads by example and by not following protocol. By thumbing his nose at rules and regulations - and that is actually working until the influx of wounded and the lack of physical hands available to help. So he defaults to the only option readily available to him. The "army way". There are rules and regulations and standard operation procedures, that in theory, are supposed to help lead. They are supposed to be ways to get themselves to the other side of a situation. So Hawkeye tries to abide by them, use them to his advantage, but with people who are conditioned - by Hawkeye himself and commanding officers continuously allowing it to happen - to NOT play by the book. So what do they do? They lash out at Hawkeye. They make him out to be the worst leader and doing a terrible job - which isn't entirely fair to him.
Hawkeye didn't have the confidence in his own natural abilities to lead and to get them through everything, and fell victim to thinking the "army way" was designed to actually help.
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And while I think BJ was honest upon his return, and did exactly what "Captain Pierce" would've done, I don't think he was actually mad at Hawkeye or "Commander Pierce." I think it's one of those situations where he wasn't mad, just disappointed. I like to believe (re: it's possible and I'm in no way saying this is absolutely what happened but it's open for interpretation) BJ was the first person (maybe the only person) to recognize that Hawkeye would've done just fine if he had led as himself and not tried to be the exact thing he normally despised.
Thanks for coming to my messy MASH talk.
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king-paimon · 3 days
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Houseki No Kuni Chapter 108 Thoughts: Everything Stays....
Hello all. I hope the month of April was good to everyone. It was alright for me, though I'm just in awe by how fast it went! Time really goes by too quickly as you get older.
Speaking of time, would you look at that? The final chapter of Houseki no Kuni was released! 108 chapters over the course of 12 years. And I've been following it for nearly 5 of those years! Wow! That is quite the feat, Ms. Ichikawa.
I'd been waiting for this day for a long time, and the feeling is bittersweet, with the overlaying feeling of relief. This emotional rollercoaster that Ms. Ichikawa had sent us on has finally reached it's dock.
Phos's story is finally complete. What a ride it had been!
Now the question is: Was I satisfied?....
I'll do my best to answer this. I don't know how long this post will be, but I'm hoping that it won't be too long (edit: Oops. I was wrong.) And as always, please feel free share your own thoughts if you're interested!
Here we go:
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Phos's True End: Was It Satisfying?
I reread this chapter a few times to answer this question and to be honest, I still reach the same conclusion: It was fitting. Not absolutely bad or 100% amazing, but in terms of Phos's whole journey throughout this story, I think this was a fitting ending for Phos, and that's good. And if anything else, it's a little ironic.
I mentioned in my last post that I thought it was funny that the remaining piece of Phos had become the youngest/newest member of the pebble species much like how they originally were at the beginning off the whole manga. It seems though, the similarities don't end there because of this little interaction between Eyeball/Pita-pat and Pebble Phos:
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I'm sure this was supposed to be a little cheeky conversation and Eyeball/Pita-pat didn't really mean it. But still, this was an interesting exchange to include in this final chapter, especially right before it's implied that Eyeball/Pita-pat passed away.
One intriguing story choice Ichikawa made was having Pebble Phos continuously fall apart near the end to the point that they become a small spec. To be honest, I was not sure how to feel about this part when I first read, especially considering how now there's hardly any of Phos left now. Like, after Eyeball/Pita-pat saved that last bit of Phos so they could have a nice life away from humanity, it'd be unfair for them to break apart again to nothing after all of that. But I did like how the pebbles decided to view Pebble Phos' changes; that their fragments surely became beautiful comets that would brighten someone's day. And that shot with original Phos was nice...
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Also, I saw the post that implied that Ichikawa released this final chapter around the same time that a rare famous comet was supposed to be seen on Earth. I want to say that I think it was a pure coincidence, but I'm not putting anything past this author!
This chapter made me think of that one song from Adventure Time: Everything Stays. If you haven't heard of it, please give a listen. It's a song about life and the course of change. It focuses on how even if things appear to stay the same over the course of time, changes still occur, even if subtle. Phos certainly changed a lot throughout their story through intense mind and physical altering events. But I also think they changed subtly even during the less intense moments. I think the moments in this final chapter fit with this song, too. Phos was always evolving, even when it didn't appear so. Through their interactions and lack thereof with others and their environment, Phos was always changing and growing, ever so subtly. And even in this last chapter, Phos is still evolving and that'll likely never end.
Interesting... after thinking about it some more, I think I feel a little more satisfied with how this chapter/story ended. I'm glad that Ms. Ichikawa didn't pull some other twist near the end; that certainly would have ruined it for me. Am I 100% happy with how Phos's story ended? I don't think so. But to me, it's a fitting end.
But what do I think about the series as a whole?
When The Journey Ends: Was It Worth It?
There are very few manga or written stories that had me wanting to see how things end because more often than not, there aren't that many stories that I've read to completion. Part of it is because I don't want the story to end; basically, I'd have the thought process that if I don't know how the story ends, the story doesn't end! Perfect logic (sarcasm). Though this usually happens because I lose interest or because the story goes in directions that I don't like, I'd say one of the main reasons I end up dropping a series is because of how a story ends. How a story ends can completely change one's opinion of a story, and I've seen my fair share of stories that end badly. Sometimes the ending is abrupt and not satisfying, especially if it was lead by a big build up, or the ending is a result of a jarring story pivot that seems to come out of left field. It just seems that many creators don't know how to end their story well. And if I like a story a lot, sometimes I'm too scared to see how it ends. Partially because I don't want the story to end, but mostly because I don't want the end to ruin my experience.
Houseki no Kuni is a unique case for me. I know I've mentioned this before but I'll state it again: I don't think I've ever been so invested in a story like this before. Though that investment had dwindled over time, partially due to me developing new interests, life, and being occasionally dissatisfied with certain story choices, I wanted to see this how this story would end no matter what. And now that it's done, I'm glad I stuck it out.
Was this story perfect? No. There were several story decisions that I wish was either told differently or completely omitted that could have made the story stronger in my opinion.
Did I get a too invested in this story? During certain points, most definitely haha. I remember getting very emotional about certain chapters when I first started making this series of meta posts. I remember seeing some posts from people stating that they no longer liked the manga because of the direction it was going and in some cases, I could see where they were coming from.
Do I regret getting so invested in this story? No. No I don't. Despite not liking certain story aspects, I do not regret getting invested in this story. Though the story was not perfect, this was such a unique experience that I'm grateful to have gone through.
I plan on talking more about how I feel about Houseki no Kuni as a whole in another post. I intend to delve into what I loved about it and what I wish was different. While I could include that stuff here, I think this post is long enough. I've already started working on it, but I know it'll be a while before it's done; you bet there will be some parts with me ranting a little haha
But long story short, despite some grievances I have with some parts of the story, I feel satisfied with how it ended. And I'm glad that I read this series.
What Happens Next: Thank you, HnK Fandom
I want to thank those who've read, liked, and even commented on my posts! I didn't think so many of you would like, let alone read, my longwinded messy posts. I loved every feedback I got, even the ones that didn't agree with me. You made me love being part of this niche fandom. Like I said in the previous section, I have at least one more post that I want to make detailing everything I feel about Houseki No Kuni as a whole. I might make another one that's more for fun, but we'll see. I encourage anyone who's interested to share your own thoughts on the post! I seriously love reading different perspectives.
But after those posts, I don't know how involved I'll be in the fandom afterwards. I may repost some art and other people's meta posts on occasion. But when it comes to meta commentary, these will likely be my last posts about HnK. I have other fandoms that I like to follow, though I don't make posts about them. Perhaps I will, though I know they will be nothing like the posts I've made about Houseki no Kuni. This was the only series I've ever felt compelled to analyze so deeply, which makes it special for me. If I were to post anything about the other stuff I'm into, it'll most likely be of fanart that I made for my own personal enjoyment. I know scare many of my followers away since they'll not be HnK related. But who knows? I haven't made any HnK art in a long time... Maybe one of these days, I can try to make some HnK art again. I have some unfinished pieces on my computer that's now years old. Yeah, I should finish them when I have the time. That'd be a fun little send off.
Anyhow, if you are interested, please hang around for my final HnK meta posts! And when it's out, please please PLEASE share your own thoughts in it! Don't be afraid to share your opinions. I promise I don't bite.
So that's it. These are my thoughts of the final chapter of Houseki no Kuni. I might add more to it, but I'm fine with what I put out. Wow... I still can't believe I got into this series 5 years ago! So much had changed in my life since then. Despite everything, it was worth it.
Thank you again for reading my jargon. It means a lot and I can't wait to post my true final meta posts about Houseki no Kuni.
What a ride this was.
Until next time...
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frownyalfred · 3 days
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How do you do your writing? Start writing the story and figure out world building aspects after? Or deep dive into world building than write the story? Personally I write the story then take breaks to write down world building as it comes
Was curious, cause your abo au is very thought out with world building
I think it definitely comes easier with the a/b/o AU since there's a lot of pre-established options within the trope, so I'm usually just mixing and matching the ones I like most, or subverting the ones I don't.
My biggest goal when worldbuilding is to avoid the "this is the world I live in and here are the rules" monologue that sometimes pops up in published novels. I only want stuff to come up that's actually being discussed and thought about by the characters in the scene -- and unless it's being used as a device, they're not usually narrating the rules of the world they live in to themselves at any point. (Again, it depends on the book and if it's being used as a literary device)
So Bruce, in a given scene, wouldn't necessarily be thinking about the fact that omegas use scent blockers to conceal their scents, and wouldn't be thinking about how that works (such as application preference, etc) but he would, theoretically, be thinking about how the new scent blocker he just bought isn't working right, and that he might need to use more than normal. So we get some slightly more subtle worldbuilding within the vein of the scene.
People go back and forth on the "show don't tell" advice in writing, and I know it's contentious. But I'm a proponent of showing worldbuilding whenever possible, instead of outright telling. Whenever I find myself writing a thought/piece of dialogue that seems like it would benefit the reader more than the characters, I take a second to check if I'm telling instead of showing.
Sometimes that means not explaining something until it pops up in the story. An example of this would be in my Mandalorian/Star Wars batfamily AU, where we really don't learn a lot about the batkids' positions or the hierarchy of the Wayne compound until Clark has a chance to talk with various family members and learn.
I think there is definitely an instinct to overexplain off the bat, and it's not always wrong. But if our first scene with Bruce was spent with him thinking over the hierarchy of his own compound, that wouldn't make a lot of sense -- he already knows what it is. He's got other things to focus on in that scene.
If it's helpful, I also put together lists sometimes of worldbuilding ideas that don't necessarily make it into the work itself, but help add context while I'm writing. I did this a lot with Borderline, when I was trying to write the Court/LoA into the fic. A lot of those details didn't make it in for the reader to see, but they affected what I wrote.
That's just my take on it, and like I said, there's a lot of conflicting ideas about this. And exceptions, of course.
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