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#this was AMAZING and DEVASTATING

infinitelytheheartexpands · 1 year

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Saul (Glyndebourne, 2015): Reactions, Part III

let’s finish this up!

agony and desolation

do not completely blame yourself

fucked up emotional standards clap clap clap clap clap

he’s desperate

okay I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT

this is real spooky

um what

okay why is he also singing the part for the ghost of samuel

also HOW DID THEY DO THE BREAST MILK

also 10/10 this is really good spooky music

“well guess i’m fucked then”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

saul was suicidal 😭

agh buddy

just…the dead

aggggggggggggh

voice out of the silence

CAN I JUST HUG HER PLEASE 😭😭😭

i know what that sobbing, that utter devastation feels like, and i would not wish it on the worst person in the world

THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING JONATHAN

*screams internally in AGONY*

poor michal, poor everybody

this is SUBLIME

together in mourning 😭

TOO FUCKING SOON

they’re trying to force themselves into moving on…

because they have to, what will happen to them if they don’t?

but david is still (understandably) broken, as they all surely are

anyway, i am sitting here at a loss as to how i have been utterly DEVASTATED by this

#opera #opera tag #oratorio #opera liveblog #saul #handel #george frideric handel #georg friedrich händel #händel #this was AMAZING and DEVASTATING #okay okay i get it now

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spoilers-ahead · 11 months

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okay!! now that it’s not 2am for me, i’m going to post my selkie!jason todd hc’s straight up au apparently!

(uh. this was supposed to just be a list of hc’s but i got slightly,,,, carried away)

his selkie skin looks like an oversized red hoodie in his human form, and is just warm enough to help him survive new england winters.

when the summer heat becomes unbearable, he slings the hoodie around his waist

alternatively, he just coasts it out underwater. perks of living in a coastal city!

willis todd was a selkie. he used to tell jason stories of what it was like to swim through the big, wide ocean. of how freeing it felt. how different it is, from the smoggy, heavy air of gotham --- different, but both theirs, in their own right.

but to be honest, jason doesn’t remember much about the stories he was told, or really, anything about willis --- he had been in and out of blackgate for most of jason’s life, working for two-face to try and make ends meet, before dying.

what jason mostly remembers, are the warnings. don’t let anybody know you’re a selkie. don’t let anybody find your skin. they will find it, and they will use it to control you. even decades later, jason would still remember those warnings.

catherine is the one who teaches him how to swim, who helps him trial-and-error his way into putting his skin on, and learn how to make the transition seamless.

after she dies, jason spends three months as a seal, to just... exist. forget.

although jason technically lives on the streets, whenever he can;t find food, whenever he can’t find somewhere warm to sleep, whenever just being human becomes too unbearable, he spends the night as a seal. he ends up spending more time in the ocean, than on land.

that’s not to say he’s very good at being a seal --- he barely knows how to swim, has to learn how to fish the hard way.

when bruce finds jason stealing his car tires, he marvels over how nice jason’s hoodie is, soft and fluffy even after all of jason’s time on the streets, especially given the condition jason is in, ribs showing from malnutrition, and the worn and raggedy shape of the rest of his stuff.

jason is skittish when he goes to live in the manor, even after a few weeks. he always adopts an expression particularly similar to a cornered wild animal around alfred in particular, alfred, who keeps on trying to take his hoodie away, purportedly to wash it.

alfred eventually gives up on trying to force jason to wash it --- he figures that as jason becomes more comfortable living at the manor, he’ll wind up telling them why he’s so protective over that hoodie, and they can work something out then.

whenever wayne manor overwhelms jason with how big and how decadently expensive all the decor is, jason runs away, run to the ocean.

jason doesn’t actually end up telling alfred and bruce that he’s a selkie --- bruce just has a ridiculous amount of motion alarms, which are triggered every time jason ran off. he had followed jason the third night, and saw him transform.

bruce doesn’t tell jason that he knows, assuming that jason kept this a secret because he didn’t fully trust either of them. he would later learn that he was right in this assumption (a rare win for bruce in terms of emotional awareness)

except jason doesn’t fully trust either of them, even after a few months. bruce impulsively decides to do a few things --- a) tell jason about batman and robin and his crime-fighting secret identity, and b) tell jason he already knows about him being a selkie.

jason is absolutely bamboozled by the fact that bruce knows, and yet hasn’t tried to take his hoodie to control him, or to stop him from playing in the ocean for a few hours.

in fact, (under alfred’s encouragement) bruce offers to take him to the ocean during the day, so he can get “a proper night’s rest that a growing young boy such as himself would need”

jason remembers what his father told him, to never trust anyone, never let his guard down. but bruce has known about jason being a selkie for so long, and he didn’t take his hoodie or try anything. of course he can trust bruce.

and when he tries on the robin costume for the first time, it fits perfectly. just like his hoodie, his second skin. it fits just like magic.

oh, it’s a little loose in some places, the legacy of dick fucking grayson a little heavy sometimes, but he’ll grow into it. he’ll make himself, if he has to.

also, jason finds the fact that even though he’s a friggin’ selkie, his callsign is a bird (a robin, no less) incredibly ironic and funny

being a selkie is actually so useful for vigilantehood. the amount of people who talk freely, openly, and loudly about their drug smuggling plans near the ports is quite frankly, ridiculous.

honestly, towards the end of his robin years, jason remains genuinely surprised nobody catches on to him or his tactics yet. bruce is very proud.

even though jason is safe, has been safe for three years, and trusts bruce with his life, his skin, and everything, old habits are hard to break. so he has his hoodie on when he goes to find sheila.

and anyways, he wants to see if sheila is a selkie too. he’s taking biology right now, and they’re learning about punnett squares. jason’s never met another selkie before, other than willis who he barely remembers. there’s a possibility that sheila knows something, anything, so he has to try.

sheila gets a glint in her eyes when jason mentions that he’s a selkie, tells him that while she’s not one herself, she’s familiar with the myth. she has long suspected that willis was a selkie, she tells him, and she’s glad to have confirmation.

jason positively vibrates with excitement, can’t wait to ask, to pester his mother (mother!) with questions upon questions until.

until.

sheila doesn’t do anything after she gives him to the joker. she just smokes and smokes. and she doesn’t tell the joker about his hoodie, despite how it would have been much easier for the joker to destroy him that way. much more painful too.

small mercies, he supposes, in between hacking coughs that brings blood bubbling up his lips.

after he dies, his hoodie is ripped and in tatters from the crowbar, with burns along the edges from the bomb. bruce has to carefully peel it off his body.

when jason was alive, his magic kept the hoodie in perfect condition, always. even when the rest of him was covered head-to-toe in mud, or dripping sludge from the nasty gotham sewers.

bruce stares at the same hoodie, blood-soaked and mangled, so incredibly dissonant from how he remembered it on jason, when he was bright, whole, and alive.

he can’t stand it. the hoodie that was so precious to jason, that was jason, at the core of him, in this state. dirty and ripped and devoid of the magic jason had exuded.

in a moment of desperation, late at night, bruce asks alfred to teach him how to sew. he doesn’t dare to practice on jason’s beloved hoodie --- instead, he starts with the suits in his closet, grabbing the first one he sees, regardless of price. rips a hole and sews it back together over and over until he perfects his technique.

and then he washes the fabric gently, using baby fabric cleanser and scrubbing for hours upon hours until the last traces of the deep-set brown stain from jason’s blood washes down the drain.

he painstakingly sews the scraps of fabric back together with a red thread, carefully sourced to match the hoodie to try and make it flow seamlessly like it used to.

it doesn’t work, not exactly. despite his best efforts, the creases bruce had carefully sewn together are prominent and thick like scars, littering the soft fabric.

so he gives up. he hangs it over the grandfather clock entrance to the cave in his study. brings it with him every time he visits jason’s grave, because he doesn’t ever want to keep jason’s hoodie away from him, but he also can’t bear for it to get ruined.

dick visits him. a rare occurrence, these days.

dick yells at him, as he is wont to do.

these days, it feels like they spend more time angry at each other than not. dick says that this isn’t right. isn’t fair to anybody, not to alfred, not to himself, definitely not to jason. he rants, jason deserves to be remembered as he was in life, not frozen in death.

perhaps he is right. bruce is not unaware of the state of violent, cutting stasis he is in, this putrefaction of his life. and he is certainly not unaware of how it is affecting the people around him. dick. alfred. the neighbor’s kid, the one who wants to be robin.

bruce tries. not for himself, but for tim. for alfred, for dick. even for stephanie brown, who sometimes, when she smirks just right, or says something with just the right twang, he swears he can see jason in her.

he still can’t bear to put the hoodie away, because jason deserved better than to be forgotten, so he folds it gently and places it in his closet instead.

he also can’t bear to look at it for very long, so he forces himself to every single day.

it’s different from the glass case that houses robin’s tattered suit in the cave --- that, is a reminder of how he failed robin. this, this is salt in a constant, stabbing, festering would, reminding him of how he failed his son.

it was stephanie, that eventually helped him figure out what to do with the hoodie. when she was young, young enough to cry at ripped pants and skinned knees, young enough that her mother hadn’t touched the drugs yet, her mother would dry up her tears, give her a hug and a kiss on the forehead, before patching her pants up.

what not many people know, is that before crystal brown set her mind on becoming a nurse, she wanted to be an artist, first. and so she grabs her old set of embroidery needles, and stitched little designs. dogs and cats. stars and planets. tools and gadgets.

bruce doesn’t react, doesn’t even move, even as stephanie finishes her story. she hangs there awkwardly for a second, stares up at jason’s suit, waiting for him to respond, before shuffling towards the exit of the cave.

thank you, spoiler, bruce manages to croak out.

ah, yeah, she says, shrugging lightly while slouching in on herself, any time, boss. she walks out, and bruce watches her go from the reflection on the darkened computer.

that night, he takes out jason’s hoodie, smooths it out, grabs his threads, and stitches.

he stitches on constellations, argo navis, for jason’s namesake in the greek myths he had loved so much. a tiny seal, playing with beach balls. little books, with quotes on the sides. a robin, big and bold.

he tries to make it as true to jason as possible, not just in death and in bruce’s memories, but as he was in life.

jason wakes up abruptly.

he wakes up in a coffin, cold, alone, and with a gaping hole in his chest. getting dipped in the lazarus pit only made it worse, only made him all the more aware of what he was missing, all the more conscious of it.

he doesn’t bother trying to learn how to swim with two arms and two legs, instead of two fins and a tail. it doesn’t feel the same. it only reminds him of what he’s lost.

sometimes, on sleepless nights that happen more often than not, he wonders what would have happened if he still had a hoodie, still could swim.

if he still was robin.

and he doesn’t have access to the cave anymore, or to the titan’s tower, or the watchtower, and his memory of the past is still patchy and shitty in some places.

so in a burst of impulsivity fueled by the person he no longer is, he prints out photos of robin’s costume from the internet and recreates it on his own.

if his skin is gone, then fine. fine! he’s perfectly perfunctorily aware that nothing about this resurrection of his is natural. if he doesn’t think too much about it, he’ll be alright. his hoodie, his skin, that was something he was born with, a birthright that died with him.

but robin, robin was something that he helped shape. robin was something that he worked for, changed himself for.

and the makeshift robin suit --- it doesn’t fit him, not anymore. no, it feels wrong, like a child playing with their parent’s suit. or --- he realizes, perhaps more accurately, like an adult realizing they no longer fit in their favorite clothes.

and --- and --- what was the point of it all? what was the point, of trying to make bruce proud of him, of getting dick’s approval, of trying to futilely save people over and over again from the same gallery of supervillains who keep on escaping from prison?!

and what was the point of carving out a space for himself if the joker was just going to beat him out of it, and if tim drake was going to insert himself in the hole he left behind?

and then the next thing he knows he’s in titan’s tower hitting tim drake over and over again because who let him? who let him take jason’s role as a son, as a brother, as a hero? how dare he?

but when he’s slit tim’s throat and torn the ‘R’ off his chest, jason doesn’t feel any better. the robin suit still doesn’t fit. his hoodie’s still gone.

he’s starting to think it never will, not again.

sometimes, when he gets tired enough to let his mind wander, he wonders what happened to his suit.

he’s pretty sure he died with it, so either the hoodie is with the joker, batman, or... gone entirely. (it’s not like they found willis’ skin after he died. maybe selkie skins just disappear in a cloud of sea foam once they die, or some little mermaid shit like that)

it’s a cold comfort, that nobody can manipulate him now. nobody can control him --- not even batman.

(bruce had thought about it. when he first had his suspicious regarding who the red hood was, before he knew there was any trace of the son he once had left. he thought about using the hoodie, using jason’s selkie skin to coerce him, at least to stop murdering people, to stop hurting their family.)

(he would never go that far, in retrospect, or at least, he doesn’t think he could ever. to do that to jason, betray his trust so thoroughly and completely... but it would be a lie to say that he didn’t consider it.)

bruce reflects on this as jason reveals himself, the joker tied up at his feet with a gun pressed to his head, and venom spitting from his son’s mouth.

but when he lifts the batarang to hit jason’s gun, or wrist, or anything that’ll force him to drop the gun, he realizes that his hands are shaking.

and when he throws the batarang, he knows a millisecond after he’s let go, that he’s miscalculated the ricochet.

so when jason escapes that night, bruce knows he’s fucked up.

jason goes off the maps, completely. bruce doesn’t know where he is, if he’s safe, if he even made it out of the explosion that night.

it takes weeks. weeks for bruce to track jason down, from meticulously documenting the dropped threads of where the red hood was pulling strings in the gotham underworld behind the scenes, to tracking security cameras with facial recognition.

once bruce manages find where he’s staying, make sure he’s safe, he knows what he wants to do. and, he knows what he needs to do.

jason gets a package in the mail, five weeks after his disasterous meeting with batman and the joker. unmarked, unsigned, no return address.

when jason opens the box gingerly and carefully, he holds on to his skin for the first time in years. and then, and then, and then --- something right slots into place. his fingers brushed gently over the tiny spotted seal he knows he used to look like, the books he remembered ranting to bruce about for hours on end.

the robin, on the top left, over his heart, big enough to have changed him, yet small enough to not define him.

it’s not perfect. it doesn’t even fix anything, not entirely. he still fights with bruce most times he sees him, tries to punch dick in the face, steadfastly ignores tim and steph the entire time.

but it’s something. it’s something, and the next time nightwing, batman, spoiler, and robin fight a gang on the docks, the red hood gives them a helping hand before jumping back into the ocean and swimming away.

fin!

wow this got long

#jason todd #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #batfam #selkie!jason #dick grayson #stephanie brown #tim drake #catherine todd #willis todd #that one selkie!jason au #i swear i will turn this into an actual fic one day #anyways about the using embroidery to fix ripped clothes thing all i can say is WATCH HI MOM #it's SUCH a good movie and i guarantee it will DEVASTATE you in ALL your little mommy issues glory #like you think the batfamily comics/fanfics have an amazing nuanced complicated take on the parent-child dynamic?#this movie will BLOW your fucking SOCKS off. and best part of all: you can watch it WITH said parent #and it won't be as horrible of an experience as showing them encanto/turning red/eeaao!#in fact your parent will probably like the movie too and be reminded of THEIR own mommy issues :D #admittedly it's slightly different from the examples i listed above bc it's more abt what it's like to never reach ur parent's expectation #rather than an exploration of complicated parenting but it's still very relatable and very very good #the best part is you can find it all for free on youtube. also note that i mean the recent chinese movie not the old 70s movie #asteria's fics #i'm never writing a fucking flash fic on TUMBLR of all text editors again #shouldve written this out on a google doc first but i genuinely did not think this would get so long T.T #you can probably tell from the first three (3) bullet points that this was supposed to be a hc list before... it stopped being a hc list #guys i started writing this at 12 PM #IT'S NOW 9 AWOGEJAWOIG #my writing

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royalarchivist · 7 months

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Quackity: Someone who I really wish would play a little more is– I'm going to say it: it's Luzu. Because Luzu – I was in a past server with Luzu called Karmaland, which Vegetta owns – and we did some crazy ass stories. [...] I would definitely love to do more stuff with Luzu, you know? [...] His thing is the time zones, though. Which makes sense, 'cuz he's like 60.

Foolish: Is he more of an early bird?

Quackity: No, he's like 60. He's 60. He sleeps early, wakes up early. That kind of like, BS. He's like, "Oh, I have a kid to take care of." It's like, "So?"

Foolish: Tell the kid to grow up!

Quackity: That's like a hobby. [Laughs] That's like a hobby, bro, that's like fcking–

Foolish: Just kick the kid out.

Quackity: Hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If you told Ollie [Luzu's son] to fcking– to just grow up, he would.

[ Full transcript ↓ ]

Quackity: Someone who I really wish would play a little more is– I'm going to say it: it's Luzu. Because Luzu – I was in a past server with Luzu called Karmaland, which Vegetta owns – and we did some crazy ass stories because– Ok, so the thing with Karmaland and the problem with Karmaland was that every.

Foolish: The problem with Karmaland!

Quackity: –was that everyone were Spaniards. Everyone was Spaniards. Everyone from Spain, they all had Spain timezone.

Foolish: And that's a problem

Quackity: So I would always start streaming at, like, 5 pm, and all the people from Spain would be asleep. Everyone from Spain would be asleep. So, it was just me doing content, and occasionally, it'd be with Luzu, and I miss that a lot. You know, Luzu– the reason he doesn't play on QSMP as much is because of timezone, so that is literal fcking revenge. That is revenge because Luzu had a fun time being Spaniard and making sure that when I connected late times in Karmaland, there would be no one! Well, guess now– guess what now, Luzu? You wake up at fcking six in the morning– [in a sad crying voice] –and if you ever want to come back, I'll fcking log in for you. No, I'm kidding. But I think- I think– no, I would definitely love to do more stuff with Luzu, you know?

Foolish: Yeah.

Tina: I wanna meet him.

Quackity: His thing is the time zones, though. Which makes sense, 'cuz he's like 60.

Foolish: Is he more of an early bird?

Quackity: No, he's like 60. He's 60. He sleeps early, wakes up early. That kind of like, bullsht. He's like, "Oh, I have a kid to take care of." It's like, "So?"

Foolish: Tell the kid to grow up!

Quackity: That's like a hobby. [Laughs] That's like a hobby, bro, that's like fcking–

Foolish: Just kick the kid out.

Quackity: Hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If you told Ollie [Luzu's son] to fcking– to just grow up, he would.

Foolish: Yeah, absolutely.

Quackity: That's a horrible question. That really hurt my feelings. OK, Foolish: you have to ask a question now.

#Quackity #LuzuVlogs #Karmaland #QSMP #Beanie duo #Luzu #FALLS TO MY HANDS AND KNEES #I MISS LUZU SO FRICKIN MUCH MAN #YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA #YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW AMAZING HE IS #HIS CHARACTER IS INCREDIBLE #THE STORY HE AND QUACKITY WROTE IN KARMALAND CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY #Ok. I got it out of my system. I'm normal again (lying)#For real though... I'll always be so devastated that English fans don't know more about Karmaland #frick it. I'm gonna dig up some clips myself

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robiniswriting · 5 months

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the reason why the doctor and martha never worked out romantically is because you gotta be a little deranged for the doctor to like you like that. martha had good self care, a healthy level of self love, and no predisposition towards codependency whatsoever. put more simply, she was way too good for him and he knew it 😭

#martha is just built different (shes structurally sound)#also he was busy being devastated about losing rose so its a bit understandable but STILL!! I ride for martha jones #martha jones you deserved so much better than what that white man gave you #martha jones save me. save me martha jones #martha #martha jones #freema agyeman #doctor who #the doctor #tenth doctor #tenmartha #10th doctor #david tennant #let me make my silly little post about how amazing martha is ty

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noxomix · 29 days

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Little gator you have to stop... You smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bitch is too bad. They'll kill you...

NOOOOOO

#devastated #tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc gummigoo #tadc spoilers

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jeanvanjer · 2 months

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Now that I’m over that Kanthony tidbit (I’m not) I really hope when Francesca is sitting all by herself is when we see John approach her. I really hope they give John and Frans first love/marriage the attention it deserves. Give me a HOT AND CARING John Sterling who sweeps Fran off her feet.

#like only then can you make his death depressing #you need to make John so amazing his death is DEVASTATING #bridgerton

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icantdothistodaybruh · 2 months

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Heyy!

I've been thinking about the 'Sebastian making hyper-realistic confectioneries' again, so I wanted to share the scenario with you that I've just been typing out:

"Well, Young Master, tell me:" Sebastian leaned in with a smug smile upon his lips "is the item upon the table real, or an edible immitation?"

Ciel's eyes narrowed in concentration, regarding the object on the platter in front of him, before widening in realisation of the devil's wording; if there was one thing he had learned over their years together, it was that one should not listen to the meaning of the words that his butler spoke, but rather of the ones he didn't.

He lifted his head to meet with the man's proud gaze. "On the table, you say? Not on the plate?"

The demon's expression changed almost interceptibly, and Ciel knew that he was on the right track.

"It's not the item on the plate that's made of sugar. It's the plate itself." The Earl announced.

Sebastian snickered and politely lowered his head, eyes closed as he replied. "Well, my lord, very perceptible of you to notice my careful phrasing."

A self-satisfied smile stretched across Ciel's face, wiped away near immediately with the look in his butler's eyes when he once again opened them to meet him.

"However, I'm afraid you have still missed your mark."

Sebastian straightened, hovering the knife not above the confectioner's cookbook, nor the platter upon which it sat, but rather his own hand rested neatly upon the edge of the table, cutting deep into the glove to reveal it as nothing more than a clever construction of sponge and icing. Ciel stared dumbly in shock as the butler licked at the rich berry jam that smeared the blade in place of blood, the demon’s eyes half-lidded, watching him back intently as he did so.

"Do try harder next time, sir."

I love it, It's canon, I was there when it happened actually

#absolutely in love #thank you so much for sharing this with me #writers amaze me all the time #and now I cant stop thinking about a scenario with a skip to modern times where sebastian is absolutely devastated about cake is a lie tren #“What do you mean it's popular now? i did that 150 years ago and you told me to 'stop playing with your master's food'!”#“but now that it's a trend nobody even know I was the one to do it first!!”#sebaciel #kuroshitsuji #black butler #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #ask

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velocitie-s · 5 months

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She will live in our hearts forever, rest in peace Jellie

#A couple days late as usual #I am absoloutely devasted about her passing but I’m sure she had an amazing life #tw animal death #gtws #mcyt #mcyt cats

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nerdie-faerie · 3 months

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I'm once again thinking about the missed opportunities to have Klaus and Kol bond more. Part of Klaus' whole motivation as a vampire is to get his werewolf part back and to finally be stronger than Mikael (sort of, I'm simplifying) both of which can be obtained by breaking his curse. But Kol? Kol is the only other original that can relate to having a fundamental part of themself ripped away from them. Klaus might not have known he was a werewolf until he killed, but he likely still had a connection he couldn't explain, as evident by him going to watch the wolves transform. And something he'd never been able to explain was now gone. He might only be able to realise the connection afterwards through its absence.

Kol though. Kol had grown up with magic, a connection to nature and the world around him in a way the rest of his siblings supposedly didn't have. And then he gets turned. And not only has his baby brother died, his father has just murdered him and the rest of his siblings after forcing them to drink human blood, which he'll later learn. Now, not only does he have to deal with the grief of Henrik's death and also his own but also the loss of his magic. A loss that's likely only worsened by Kol being a self-proclaimed child prodigy.

Kol is pretty much the only one who could understand what Klaus is going through with the binding of his wolf. We know Kol searched for ways to get his magic back/carry on practicing magic in the same way that Klaus was looking for ways to break his curse. While Klaus likely could still feel his wolf there despite being bound, Kol has no access to his magic anymore. I just think they should've been able to bond or connect over their shared loss of an intrinsic aspect of their selves at the hands of their parents

#TVD #The Mikaelsons #Kol Mikaelson #Klaus Mikaelson #briefly back on my the originals shouldve gotten to be a family goddammit and as someone from a big family im personally offended bs #i did right a lil snippet about them bonding over this that i havent posted yet for the joml verse but still think its an unexplored concep #need more witch!kol acknowledgement honestly. just need more content of my boy #anyway. klaus having a fascination with the moon and kol telling him about celestial events and how it affects his magic when theyre boys #klaus losing that connection to the moon feeling lost & extra tempermental feeling his wolf claw at its binds and vowing to break his curse #kol determined to get his magic back at any cost relating to that devasting loss and promising to help him find a loophole for his curse #kol who becomes extra reckless and determined when he learns that theres a way to break klaus' curse so maybe he can get his magic back too #that knowledge and recklessness combined with his loss of magic driving him to become the volatile vampire that we see #that leads to him being daggered repeatedly but that first time breaks something in that bond between him & klaus that never fully recovers #it makes him bitter and resentful only fueling his reckless behaviour particularly when there seems to be no leads on reclaiming his magic #that he becomes distant from his siblings in the process especially with finn still daggered but that distance only cements the idea #to his siblings that hes a danger and cant be trusted that he needs to be daggered if theyre to stay safe from mikael #the loss of his magic leading to his spiral as a vampire and him being ostracised by his family > actual tvdu kol canon #klaus being trapped in a room staring at the corpse of his little brother knowing he never repaired that relationship with him #and now he never can so he refuses to look away as penance and a reminder of his failings to his little brother #*edit: one of the reblogs on this post is the author of big bad wolf and honestly she does an amazing job at portraying the mikaelsons #as actual siblings if you havent read it its one of my favourites for characterisations but we need more 😭 i want it to be the norm

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