Tumgik
#this video is genuinely so special to me and as always i got carried away talking about it adfsdf
good-beans · 6 months
Text
YES thank you @kyanako5972 for your service 😤👏 (I was actually looping them both for a bit but I keep forgetting to run it lately ah...)
Tumblr media
And hehe I have been ✨enabled ✨Have some Triage thoughts, and feel free to add your own!!
Starting off with my main praise of the song: “I want to be Innocent, I want to live.” I know the point of milgram is that all the characters are going to get worse, but I feel like this video is the first t2 song we’ve seen a prisoner get better. (People have talked about his savior complex being an issue but that’s coming after the inno verdict, in Triage he specifically says he never wanted this to be some kind of hostage situation where he has the power to save/kill people.) This is when we can finally see one of our verdicts go right. The others had an issue, or creeping guilt, or uncertainty, but Shidou gets over any uncertainty right then and there – he wants to live again!! In a series so full of death, in which half of the cast makes some reference to suicidal thoughts, plus two victims who did commit suicide, there’s something extremely profound about seeing one of them change their mind onscreen. We hadn’t gotten a moment of healing like that before, and I doubt we’re ever going to get one again.
The moment itself is shown very accurately and beautifully, in my opinion. His expression when he makes his statement about wanting to live is so unique. It’s not a smile, it’s not a grimace, it’s something in between. His voice is strained, but set. He’s not excited about it – when you’re in that mental place, it isn’t a cheery switch to wanting to live, it’s a grit-your-teeth and pick yourself up and make the tough choice. It’ll be so, so hard but by god you have a job to do. It made sense, given all the previous mentions of him helping Fuuta and Mahiru – he had a lot of complicated feelings about being a doctor, but he remembered that saving others really is his purpose in life.
And then the shock factor. Because of that moment and the family reveal, I think this video had the biggest twist of t2. The others had surprises, sure, but they were hinted at in the voice clips and vds, or they just exaggerated things we already knew about the characters. I was completely blindsided by Triage. Everything leading up to it paralleled Shidou with Mahiru, so I thought it was just a lover he’d lost (and maybe someone he’d just met or something). He had his moments with Amane, but I always assumed it was because of her connection to him, not vice versa. I assumed he was just overdramatic and killing people for some lady he’d fallen for, and then decided to take the easy way out and ask for death. So to find out he had a fully established family, wife and two kids??? To see his main character trait from season one was completely reversed??? (but in a way that wasn’t at all forced???)
Now, it’s much easier to make a character unlikable than it is to redeem them. We saw how quickly the fandom turned on certain characters, we felt pangs of horror for many of them. But it’s very difficult to make someone like a character they’d previously despised. Which is why I’m insanely impressed with the way those three minutes could undo months of my hatred toward Shidou, and bring me literally to tears over him. Suddenly his actions weren’t so selfish, as rash. He’s not taking the coward’s way out. He had incredibly good reason to do what he did, and now he’s taking accountability and choosing to face pain in order to atone. I’ll add more in a sec, but it’s not even that the video shows him as this perfect saint. Without holding back on everything he’d done wrong, it conveyed a real, grieving human that really moved me.
Of course the music itself was amazing – Shugo Nakamura sounds incredible. I don’t know too much about actual music structure, but the tone of both Shidou’s songs manages to be so fun and relaxing while simultaneously filling you with that profound sadness. It’s like an embodiment of his peaceful, sad smile. There’s something so human about his voicemail message, and it’s unique hearing different types of speaking parts in a song! But that moment is also foreboding. You wonder why he missed the call, and who’s calling, and you kind of already know, and you hear the three beeps as the line is dead. Then there’s the gut-wrenching return of those sounds, with the added visuals bringing to mind a dying heart?? Insane. 
And lastly, the visuals are gorgeous. Bringing back the flower/pomegranate symbolism in a similar but new way was perfect. The bright scenery and picturesque scenes really emphasized how happy he was. The video is so bright. His family is gorgeous, they’re happy. His neighborhood is sunny and warm. His house is comfortable and light. Which meant the dark scenes contrasted perfectly, driving home how jarring his loss was. And despite all the good things I said about him before, the video isn’t actually trying to paint him in an innocent light. There are literal graveyards behind him, showing how much blood is on his hands. The rotting food is such a disgustingly painful way to show what he was doing to people. He handed the tag directly to his son, showing full accountability: he gave his son his fate, he killed him himself. The images seem beautiful at first, especially compared to AKAA’s dark, bloody rooms, Backdraft’s grim tunnel, and INMF’s monstrous bees. But no matter how lovely it looks, it successfully  conveys a truly horrendous crime. 
In conclusion Shidou my fucking beloved. Go watch Triage again :3
25 notes · View notes
kfaem · 19 days
Text
Love and Deepspace; when their S/O is a kpop idol
notes: brrr new fandom lets go. also yes i went MIA but hey im not like dead
the boys when MC is an idol :) this is self indulgent. im a zayne girlie but i got carried away with raf lol. im tired so this is unedited, poorly written, no structure, and kinda just rambling
Rafayel:
here me out
he was a fan for the longest time, creating multiple pieces based off of you and your likeness
you and your members go to one of his exhibitions and when you make eye contact he's immediately in love more than he was before
kinda in a weird way
but when you approach him first he's in shock and doesnt know what to do
after the initial talking period and when the relationship starts he acts like his normal self
attends every concert and fan meeting
spends hundreds of dollars on your albums, collecting your photocards and solo posters
brags about being your boyfriend on sns and your manager tries to get him to stop
thomas is so embarrassed everytime your manager reaches out and begs him to calm down cause its a bad image
doesnt care about the reporters, is willing to fight with elites over you and your reputation
he's a simp but is also kinda mean sometimes lol
is jealous when you go live and refuse to respond to him to at least an hour and makes his presence known in your chat
i find the image of the matching outfits, couples goals posts on sns, and articles where he names you his muse to just be so <3333
Xavier
You guys bumped into each other at a convenience store, both reaching for the same bag of chips
both flustered with red cheeks, you let him have it and apologized
awkward
so, so very awkward
both of you are stuck in a awkward, silent encounter and neither of you want to say anything
one of your members comes over to see whats taking you so long and realizes that you're in a standoff with a cute blond and decides to play cupid
it worked
you two end up becoming good friends, and then eventually some sort of situationship
he doesnt want to damage your career and acknowledges that you both dont have time to spend with each other
but still acts as a loving boyfriend, buying your albums, concert tickets, merch, birthday specials etc.
then when you guys go on a snack run, a reporter recognizes you and within the week you're caught up in dating rumours
deciding that you guys couldnt avoid the truth, the situationship turned into a real relationship
doesnt really make a big deal out of your relationship or your popularity. would rather spend your guys' spare time reading together, watching movies, eating good food and relaxing
the media eventually forgets but the fans dont
they love every piece of media that ever gets showed, glimpses of xavier in mirrors, reflections on water, glasses, windows. mentions of a lover in interviews when asked what inspired you
just a loving boyfriend who tries to give you a sense of normalcy outside of the flashing lights
Zayne
Childhood friends
he hates your career and how much soul it has taken from you, but also acknowledges that you love what you do and are willing to risk your health and privacy
zayne is the king of situationship lmao
dates all the time, dinners at small restaurants hiding in booths in the far corners since you both like to be alone, together
your members genuinely dont understand how hes "not your boyfriend"
has lingered on music video shoots, using his title as your personal doctor to not raise any eyebrows
doesnt go out of his way to buy your albums but... if hes at a corner store and sees it, he'll buy it. or two. or three.
keeps one of your photocards and a normal picture of you in his wallet, grayson found it on the floor in his office once after it fell out of his wallet and he could never live it down
the entire hospital staff knows but wouldnt say anything for fear of their life
always sending messages no matter what side of the world youre on. Please remember to eat, drink water, and rest as much as you can. Too much strain on your body can cause long-term side effects.
buys tickets to your concerts, trying to hold back his smile as you glow on the stage while performing in front of your many fans
yeah he gets jealous
wont say it
and you can barely tell
but the chill that fills the room when another idol hugs you and is being overly touchy is so very much obvious and has people rushing to do something else
a reporter approaches him and tries to ask about your dating life. he shuts them up with a glare. the reporter doesnt even dare publishing that article.
your fans have a basic idea of what zayne is to you, but they respect you enough to not make a scene of it.
then one of your members gets drunk on a live and asks about your boyfriend and it comes unravelled
you post a picture with him, captioned with a heart, and its never brought up again
has brought your fans food and drinks whenever they set up cafe events for support
he appreciates everything that your fans do for you and has asked them to take care of you when hes not around
your relationship is never actually made official but yall live together when you arent required to be at the dorms and own like two cats so idk
still the caregiver that we love
74 notes · View notes
balladtv · 10 months
Note
hi, me again, u sounded so enthusiastic in your answer and your reply to my comment so i just had to ask : what was finsbury like for u? and go into detail, i just love to talk and hear about it so HIT ME WITH ALL THE THOUGHTS
THE THOUGHTS ARE THOUGHT-ING LIKE THEY’VE NEVER THOUGHT BEFORE. thank you so much for taking interest in my over-explained enthusiastic ramblings — I again apologise well in advance.
I also just want to preface incase anyone stumbles over this post, this is about my experience personally, and I recognise not everyone would’ve had the same experience as me. nether the less, everything shall be under the cut if you care to give it a read :)
okay, so I’ll start off by giving my experience getting into finsbury. we took the tube (and ran into another ‘75 fan on the way) and commuting was pretty easy (we were staying just outside of london, took us just over an hour to get to the park) and we got there just before 11am. if I remember correctly, I believe we were the second group of people to get into the holding area because of the concern of the crowd going onto the street, and from there it was pretty chill and the security that we ran into were all amazing and up for a laugh! the waiting did suck as they prolonged opening the gates but not much you can do about that, safety over everything!
as soon as we got in we ran to merch, grabbed a t-shirt and some scran and situated ourselves a row behind middle right pitch barrier — very happy with our spot (will include a video at the bottom) and the people around us were lovely.
onto the music!
After Life I thought were really good at opening and definitely got the crowds attention, kept thanking everyone for turning up early to see their set and it was appreciated. a very good performance overall!
Pretty Sick I admittedly did not pay that much attention too, although I don’t want that to be taken negatively, as it dawned upon me how many hours we were going to be there for. had to preserve battery lol.
American Football I will also admit was pretty similar, I was very concerned with scranning a milkshake… no regrets.
The Japanese House were the only one other than the 1975 that I would consider myself a pretty big fan of, and I’m pretty sure I cried at least twice. hearing ‘sunshine baby’ live whilst knowing I’d pre-ordered a personally signed copy of ‘in the end it always does’ was magical and amber herself blew me away with their vocals and presence on the stage. can’t wait to see them on tour.
Bleachers were probably my second favourite (not including the 1975) of the night. really great to watch on stage despite not being a fan and the energy the crowd was giving was immense!
Cigarettes After Sex although good, and I did enjoy, did feel a little out of place on the setlist. although I can obviously see why they were the last act before the headline, taking that out of consideration, I would’ve preferred to have watched cas after the japanese house, and then bleachers.
ladies and gentlemen… the 1975!
I don’t even know where to begin when talking about the 1975. from tim healy to people, I genuinely couldn’t have wished for a better show (although the nothing revealed / everything denied stan in me is praying for the day)
the opening. wow. although it was arguably obvious they were going to open with the 1975 (bfiafl), it didn’t make it any less impactful. hearing those chords striking that piano I’m convinced I felt it within my gut. absolutely breathtaking — and it set a high standard that was carried out throughout the entire night, completely electrifying.
to talk about the first ‘surprise’ of the night — ‘love me’. although I do preach being an abiior stan, iliwys also has a special place in my heart, ‘love me’ being my second favourite (after ballad… yeah) this is when I knew this gig wasn’t going to be topped by anything I’d previously seen!
‘part of the band’ will also get a mention here that despite being a regular on the setlist, reaches deeply into my heart. a tear was shed (and I had no clue what was to come).
“who gives a fuck this is too much fun!” matty’s little speeches honestly kept me going.
tim healy. tim healy singing my favourite song off of bfiafl. I thought I died and went to heaven right there. another crying mark.
also trying to kill me with ‘be my mistake’, this was a block of non stop sobbing.
oh, you thought you died right there?
HERE HAVE BALLAD!!!
at this point I was the luckiest woman ever that the couple we made friends with in-front of us let me swap with him so I was on the middle barrier. kindness from strangers is the best thing ever.
I genuinely don’t even know what to comprehend about ‘medicine’.
and as you can clearly see, having CARLY appear was not easing me down gently at all. doing this post has made me realise how the hell did I get out of there alive??
(I also went feral during ‘the sound’… not one of my proudest moments)
guys snippet… into iawds… as per my last post you can imagine what I was going through. the only thing that was running through my head was “I need to book my box tattoo appointment”
and now to wrap it up, ‘love it if we made it’ and ‘give yourself a try’ (and ‘sex’) being my all-time favourites and were the best way to end the gig…
until the 1975 to literally make me die dead right then and there when I heard the beat to ‘people’.
all in all, despite some people disagreeing, including consumption at the end really solidified the era and drew the door (or tv screen) to a close for one final time. your new era. your old friends.
(p.s the only negative thing I have to say is getting out of the park was an absolute fucking nightmare and made our journey three times longer, but seeing the 1975 definitely made it worth it and I’d do it all again)
6 notes · View notes
blonkk · 2 months
Text
i get so emotionally turbulent in the airport. maybe it’s because i’m always going off 2 hours of sleep and it takes me 2 hours to drive to the airport and i always book 6am flights and i always drink the night before. anyways i read this reddit post where this kids stepdad always financially provides fairly for him and his bio kids but excludes the stepson from special trips etc. he told the stepson it’s bc those are his bio kids and he wants to spend time with them and show them they mean more to him by virtue of being blood etc. he raised the stepson since he was one and shows preferential treatment to his bio kids, one of whom is the stepsons half sister. so the stepson responded by calling him by his first name rather than “dad” and stepdad got upset and hurt…anyways that story made me cry. idk i guess maybe it’s “natural” to other a kid who’s not “yours” biologically but jesus christ. you can’t treat a kid that way, exclude them, let them know they are less loved….irresponsible and cruel imo, no matter how you truly feel….
so there’s that. and then i saw this old dude handing presumably his wife a box of timbits and i got all gushy. and this older couple across from me is so cute the lady is just resting on her man’s chest and he’s just sitting there doing his thang. idk man i’m probably pmsing. i also have been reflecting on my loneliness and it’s imminent return LOL all my friends are leaving where i live soon and i’ll be alone..but i guess that’s my lot in life? that’s the way it is. there’s a lot of people i really love and appreciate even if they’re not the ideal friends/what have you. one being my roommate, a 50yo dude who does nothing but drink beer and smoke weed and talks about missing his daughter who he goes to see like once a year. i don’t agree with that aspect of his life (go see your KID instead of buying a new dirt bike !!) but man i have a lot of affection for him. he’s very generous and caring and kind and he channels his misplaced fatherly energy towards myself and the other younger workers on the mountain. i genuinely get along with him, and when he was with his daughter over the weekend i missed him…like i would get home and be like damn drew’s not here :/ and literally all we do is yap after-work style and sometimes watch shows. but idk he’s my favourite roommate this far which is crazy. idk it’s weird you never know who the people who actually make a difference in your life will be; it would have been so easy to write him off had i not bothered getting to know him. he’s a redneck, a sort of absent dad (he pays child support and knows everything ab her and supports her hobbies . he loves his daughter but. he’s gotta try harder to see her despite her living a few hours away) , he smokes cigs like a fiend, drinks beer like water, he passes out on the couch every single night of his life to dirt bike videos/sasquatch stories/random singing shows, is a typical tradesman. like it would be natural for me to judge his character based on those things. he’s actually one of the people who consistently takes my side when feminism comes up and always tells the other dudes “she’s right” etc. idk i just really am thankful to live somewhere where i’m comfortable with someone lol
& the other people i’ve met within the last year of my life have made me a better person and a happier person. somehow i really recovered a lot in the shithole where i live. dead end job, unfamiliar types of people , weird isolation. a lot of the shame i’ve carried my whole life has dissipated. i’ve been more myself than any other time in my life; and i don’t fear people’s rejection if i say what i truly believe or feel. sometimes there’s disagreements and some arguing, but it never ends badly, and weirdly i know i have peoples respect, even if they don’t agree with me or understand me. that’s what the key is i think — all my life with my family i’ve feared their rejection, their scrutiny, and their wrath. i’ve been scared to lose their love and respect because i was constantly threatened with it, and i experienced it countless times. the things the members of my immediate family have said to me, the things they’ve called me, the ways they’ve rejected me and punished me for being who i am has really damaged me and i always lived with it, bringing it into other relationships and friendships, not understanding that it was impacting literally every aspect of my life; how i interact with people being the main thing. it’s impacted my self esteem to such a degree with i could never make genuine friends and connections because i always went along with what other people said so they wouldn’t punish me. i let people treat me like dogshit because it’s what i was used to and what i thought love/acceptance costed. it even affected how i performed at work and what type of work i’ve tried to succeed at as an adult. it’s why i’m so lost and messed up and rootless. it’s why i have no idea what i want, and why for so many years i had no idea who i was.
for the first time in my life i feel accepted , if not loved. it’s enough to make me extremely emotional. it’s enough to make me happy because i could literally never imagine feeling so safe in my life. i love my parents and family but my god. what they’ve done to me can’t be reversed, though some things are beginning to repair
also i’m listening to the divorced dad playlist on spotify and it’s hitting. live laugh love!!!!
0 notes
iwanttoholdon · 9 months
Text
Sometimes I feel that weight, I hold that in my chest Sometimes I hold it back, other times I'm blessed
I love the song and I used to listen to it everyday thinking about a crush that broke my heart but these lyrics mean something else to me now. Sometimes it gets so heavy on my chest, so much more than sometimes to be honest, and I don't know what to do with it. Cruel amount of intense emotions and unbearable thoughts with unwanted memories wash over me all at once, I just feel like dying. To be exact I really wanna unalive myself in these moments because I don't want to feel them, I just want to escape and I much rather feel nothing at all. That's why I try to numb myself lately. Just trying to numb my brain with stupid videos or sleep just because I want to run away from myself. But you can't really run away from yourself, can you? Or you can only run away so much. As much as I want, I also know that one can not get rid of her past. And as you run faster it will catch up to you. There is no escape. So I said enough is enough. I am courages enough to face my fears. I am all grown now. I feel like a new person and I gave myself permission to be sad and depressed and took a rest. But I feel hopeful today and I feel like maybe its not that bad you know? Maybe I can have a beautiful life. Maybe I can build myself a beautiful life and maybe there is no rush? Maybe I am not a loser because I don't have a special someone? Maybe I am not a loser because I live with my family in a not nice neighborhood? Maybe I am not a loser because I don't have a car? Maybe I am not a loser because I haven't travel the world. Maybe none of these shit really matter and I am just being stupid by giving myself hell for not doing what the society wants. I am not cool in terms of what cools on Instagram. But I don't really care about these stuff, they don't bother me. They just bother me because I feel like I don't fit in and I want to fit in like everybody else does. But in reality I am comfortable and content. I am not running out of time. I got all the time in the world. I am not late to anything. I should rise above from all of this mess and focus on what makes me feel good. I know better than that. I know better than that.
Anyway I actually wanted to write about the funeral I went to today and cried a lot. It made me really sad. Then I went to a dinner with my new team and hang out with them. And I felt really happy, comfortable and at peace. The energy they were giving were so positive and they were such good and down to earth people. I felt like I belong there. Felt like I found my people and my place. Not specifically those people but genuine people with good intentions. I really understood what they meant by the people and the energy around you can really lift you up or bring you down. So they lift me up from a very deep depression without even knowing without even trying. That is the part I felt blessed. And I haven't felt that in a very long time.
Another thing that punched me in the stomach is remembering tomorrow is my dad's birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. THIS IS THE FIRST BIRTHDAY WE DON'T GET TO CELEBRATE. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO TELL YOU. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I WISH YOU WERE STILL HERE. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE CARE. I WILL ALWAYS CHERISH IT. YOU ARE FOREVER IN MY HEART. I REALLY WISH I COULD BUY YOU A BIRTHDAY GIFT AGAIN. I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN AND HUG YOU AGAIN. WE WILL BE TOGETHER SOON ENOUGH AND I HOPE I WILL GET TO TELL YOU ABOUT EVERYTHING. YOU WOULD BE SO PROUD AND HAPPY FOR ME. MAYBE YOU ARE ALREADY. YOU WERE THE BEST DAD TO ME. I WISH I COULD BE NICER TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. YOU WILL BE 56 FOREVER. I WILL ALWAYS CARRY YOU IN MY HEART.
0 notes
thebangtancloud · 2 years
Text
One + One = Three
Tumblr media
Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader
Genre: Angst (to taste), Fluff
Word Count: 2.1k
Summary: Two months into your relationship and Taehyung has a special request :)
Warnings: Taehyung being the softest, most genuine boyfriend ever. He voices every thought without hesitation. He talks a lot and you're thoroughly enjoying it :)
Requested by @kimtaeshiya : Hii so I have a request if you could write an imagine where Taehyung convinces (y/n) for trying for a baby. And if you could add fluff and some romance too 🥺👉👈
A/n: I'm not too sure if this is what you had in mind, but I really just got carried away with that one video where Taehyung wipes away the tears of that little girl from the set and comforts her because she's crying. I've said this a million times and I could say it again, Taehyung is just going to be the best father on this planet.
"Hmm..." You smirked. "Would you care to explain what that was?"
Taehyung couldn't help but look away, his hand still in yours and his steps faltering ever so slightly.
"It's self-explanatory," he stated.
"Oh really?" Your head tipped back with a laugh. "What you said was self-explanatory?"
"Mhm," he adjusted his cap with his free hand.
"I'm not asking you to explain what you said, I'm asking you why you said what you said."
Taehyung paused momentarily to slip his hand past his knee to scratch at an itch, sniffing indifferently and tugging your hand to pull you back into the walk. Your house was 15 minutes away from where you both were right now, and Taehyung had insisted that he wanted to walk you back home instead of driving. So here you were, walking hand in hand down the footpath at half-past midnight with the man who had just admitted a desire that left your world shaking.
"It's true," Taehyung bit his lip. "I've always wanted to be a father."
"And you will, someday," you squeezed his hand gently. He looked to the side to catch a glimpse of your eyes staring back at him, a soft frown evident on his face.
"I want to have a child," Taehyung got straight to the point.
"You will."
"I want to have a child with you."
By then, he had pulled you to a stop, his hand guiding you to face him and gently tugging at your fingers enough to bring you a step closer to him. His black coat hung heavily over his shoulders, the collar of his cream shirt bent and sticking out rather awkwardly.
His hair was quite long, you noticed. Dyed a dark shade of brown after months of electric blue, his hair looked softer than his features, shining under the yellow glow of the streetlight above the two of you. His cap sat cushioned over his head, hiding almost half of his eyes under its shadow, yet the close proximity allowed you to properly gauge every reaction of his with ease.
"I know you do."
"I'm sorry, I made you uncomfortable, right?"
Taehyung looked nervous like he had just made a big mistake. His words were sincere over the dinner table, eyes looking for approval from his bandmates but both his hyungs mirrored his reaction because they could see how taken aback you were.
"No, I was simply surprised," you reassured him.
"I'm sorry," he repeated again.
"Taehyung," you called out to him to bring his attention back to you. "Don't worry about what you said, I wasn't uncomfortable, I promise."
"Yeah?" He looked hopeful.
"Mhm," you nodded. ""It really just surprised me.”
“I know all of this is like – too soon. Like, really soon. I shouldn’t have even said what I said, but I can’t help but be honest with you. That’s how I’ve always been with you, (Y/n).”
“And I appreciate that, my love.” You smiled encouragingly at him.
“You’re my best friend,” he admitted sincerely. “You have been the closest person to me for the past fourteen years and I don’t want this new chapter of our lives to change the bond that we had.”
It’s quite true. It was only recently that the two of you became aware of the growing feelings that you had for each other, and unlike most situations, you and Taehyung found your way to each other in your own time.
Three months ago, under the stars one night, Taehyung had spoken his heart out to you in the rawest, most vulnerable form, admitting that his love for you – as much as it had always been there – suddenly had a different tone to it.
A tinge of affection in the sense that he wanted to squeeze your cheeks every time you said something funny, unlike his usual playful slap to your arm.
A hint of possessiveness every time someone would turn back to take a longer look at you as they walked past, his hand automatically pulling you into his side and brushing off your questioning gaze with a broad grin.
A strange feeling in his tummy whenever he would hear the glorious laughter that would bubble out of you, a feeling that confused him and made him fall just a little silent to take a moment and reflect on the source of his nervousness that would suddenly overtake him.
A sense of jealousy whenever a guy would approach you for reasons he had no mind to pay attention to, an urge to simply stand up and tell the world that he did, in fact, have a reason to protect you behind him, a reason that once did not exist but he wanted it to. He wanted to be called more than just your best friend.
He wanted to be called your boyfriend.
He wanted to be your boyfriend.
And just as he went on about how much he longed to hold your hand and never stop looking into your eyes and simply lean into you and just kiss you – you showed him that he could. Because that night, under the stars, you shut him up with the softest, most amazing kiss the two of you have ever had. So soft and so filled with love that Taehyung actually began to cry, but he had assured you that they were tears of happiness because he just could no longer contain his love for you.
Taehyung had always been honest that way. Brutally honest; if you will. He spoke what came to his mind and rarely put much thought into whether or not it would make you feel good or bad until he has said it.
So of course, even though you and Taehyung had been best friends for fourteen years, Taehyung just had to confess that he had been dreaming of becoming a father. And even though you and Taehyung had been dating for a mere two months, Taehyung just had to tell you that he wanted to do that with you.
“It won’t change us, Tae,” you murmured gently.
“Is it so wrong to want that? To have a baby with you?” He wondered with a small voice.
“It really isn’t,” you smiled fondly.
“I’ve known you for what feels like a lifetime, and these past two months haven’t felt any different because it’s you. You’re the woman that I love, you’re the woman that I’ve loved and you’re the one that I’ll always love. I will marry you one day, and I want to have a family with you.”
Your heart began to swell with love at his words, absolutely loving this feature of your boyfriend. Honest, brutally honest, and vocal about every little thing that’s on his mind. You loved it so much.
“Do you see us that way, too?” He finally asked you.
You really just couldn’t take it anymore, so without a word, you stepped forward and wrapped both of your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into your embrace. He sighed into your neck, melting into your touch and breathing out a soft hum.
“I do,” you mumbled into his coat. “I do see us that way.”
“I should’ve talked to you about this in private,” he began with the tiniest shake of his head, nuzzling his face deeper into the warmth of your skin. “But that little boy that ran past our table really made me feel like one day - I want our baby to run around like that too.”
“I saw the expression on your face,” you spoke softly, running a loving hand across his back. “I knew what you were thinking at that moment.”
“You did?” He pulled back but held you close to him, looking at you with wide eyes.
You nodded with a grin. “I did.”
“Were you thinking the same thing as me?” asked Taehyung.
“Not exactly the same thing,” you smiled softly, reaching for his collar and straightening it. “I was thinking of what a lovely dad you would be one day.”
“You think I would?” His smile widened in fascination, eyes glazing over at the thought of it actually happening someday.
“I know you would.”
“Ah,” he giggled a little, feeling on top of the world. “I’m really hoping for that to happen soon.”
“It just might,” you ran a gentle finger over his cheek. He looked back down into your eyes after the little daydream that he had slipped into, eyebrows raising ever so slightly.
“Am I wrong to assume that you’re wanting the same?”
Your head shook, letting your fingers intertwine behind his neck. “You’re not. I want to have a baby with you, too, Taehyung.”
“You do?!” He shrieked, instantly lowering his voice after noticing the little echo, a mischievous giggle slipping past his lips when his shoulders raised sheepishly. “Oops.”
“That was loud,” your head tipped back in laughter.
“Sorry,” he chuckled, gazing down at you fondly. “You do?”
“I certainly do.” Your nod of confirmation made him gasp happily.
“I really love you,” he admitted sincerely, leaning just a little into you so that he could kiss the skin beneath your eye. “I love you more than I could ever describe.”
“And I love you more, Taehyung,” you responded genuinely. “I love you so much.”
“Now that I think of it,” he wondered, eyes beginning to travel around the place distractedly. “I know that I want to have a baby with you, but I want to do things right. I want to ask you to marry me first. Then I want us to plan every little detail of our wedding and also our home. We’re gonna have the best home ever. We’ll make it so beautiful that even our kids will never want to leave it.”
You could only gaze up at the man of your dreams in awe, too speechless to say anything.
"It's probably weird that I've already thought of all this, and whenever the boys and I would talk about the time we would finally settle down and have kids, they all really wanted their first child to be a boy."
He caught your eye briefly, a distracted smile lifting the corners of his lips. He was still deep in thought, too excited to tell you all that he had been thinking about, so without any hesitation, he reached for your hand and pulled the two of you back into a walk again.
"But I really want a girl," he whispered gently. "I want to have a daughter."
"You do?" you mumbled in fascination, allowing him to guide you because you were too lost in the light that twinkled in his eyes.
"I do, (Y/n)," he nodded. "I want to be able to braid her hair and buy her little dresses and boots. Maybe even those flower hair clips that we saw in the store that day."
Your heart leaped at the thought.
"I want to be able to sing to her and let her fall asleep on my shoulder knowing that her daddy would always be there to take care of her. I'll let her take the school bus instead of driving her there because my little girl will learn how to become strong."
"You've thought a lot about this," you observed with a fond smile.
"A man can dream, (Y/n)." Taehyung turned to glance at you with the most genuine smile, giving your hand a quick squeeze.
"I've always pictured you having a daughter, too," you murmured. His steps visibly slowed, giving you his full attention.
"I saw you that day. With the little girl from the set. You comforted her when she was crying and I swear I almost melted into a puddle when I saw you wipe away her tears. You were so gentle, it made my heart skip a beat or something."
Taehyung chuckled at your words, a long sigh coming from him soon after.
"You know? I've always had this thought in my mind. Like - I don't want to spoil my kids rotten. I want them to grow well, I want them to become independent. I want them to play around and fall and scrape their knees or elbows because ten years later they'll look at those scars and know that they've truly lived their childhood well."
"That's...true actually," you noted with a little nod. "Wow, I never thought of it that way."
"I love children," Taehyung finally finished with a grin. "I love kids, and I really can't wait until I have my own."
"You're going to be such an amazing father, Taehyung." You pulled his arm closer to yours, linking it with your own and attaching him to your side. Taehyung couldn't do much but smile, a glaze over his eyes making them glisten as if he had tears in them.
But he was happy. You were happy. This moment, as real as it was, felt like a dream. A dream that was finally coming true.
"I could only do that with you by my side, (Y/n)."
.
.
.
.
.
Tumblr media
Not me realizing that I now have 4/7 stories about Taehyung as a dad omg. Is it too much? No, it's not.
Should there be another part to this to see the aftermath? After they get married? It's got me wondering :)
519 notes · View notes
astaroth1357 · 4 years
Text
Brothers React to the MC Looking at Them Lovingly
This is a personal experiment. This is the very first time I've written one of these with a goal in mind, "Make them fall in love all over again." It's a tall order. I hope I succeeded. 🙏 Special thanks to @a-chaotic-dumbass for picking the mood for this one!
Intro:
We all know that look. The one where one person stares at another like they just realized they're the only thing in the universe and they're in fucking awe of it. The kind of look that tells you they're utterly enthralled by that other person and just can't get enough of their presence. That look. Yeah, the brothers just got that look out of the MC.
Let's warm some cold hearts, everybody.
Lucifer
Lucifer was always beautiful. Always has been, as an angel or a demon.
A morning star is one that outshines all the rest. It stands out when the other stars have dimmed, holding onto its luster in defiance of the sun. 
There couldn't be a truer title for Lucifer to have. Not the horrors of war nor the fires of Hell could tarnish his radiance in any way…
But there were moments, like right then, where the MC caught a glimpse of a different sort of Lucifer.
His brothers would often only see the uptight Lucifer, the practiced visage of perfection that he tried so hard to keep up… 
But after a long day, when he thinks he's alone, he retires to his room to listen to his music and the difference is astonishing.
There's something so entrancingly calm about him… How the light of the fireplace flickers and dances across his alabaster skin to the subtle slouch of his posture. His face no longer marred by creases of stress and frustration… 
And his expression is so pure… So tranquil and at peace… Beauty without effort. A shine that can't be ignored. A morning star, in the truest sense of the word…
It took awhile for Lucifer to see the MC leaning against his doorframe.
They were staring at him with the oddest look… Smiling like they were enraptured by something, but he didn't have a clue why. He was just sitting there…
So, naturally, he turned to suspicion.
"Am I really that amusing…?"
Frankly, he wasn’t prepared for the little laugh they let out in response.
"Mm? No, no... I'm just always so amazed by you, is all. I'll leave you to your music..."
Having thoroughly ruined the mood, the MC then turned to leave. But Lucifer was already upon them before they could step away, wrapping his arms around their waist and letting contented hum escape his chest.
"Going so soon…?"
Apparently he appreciated the compliment.
Mammon
He didn't have to do it.
When Belphie bumped into one of the House's vases, shattering it against the tile, he didn’t have to take the fall for it.
It wasn’t connected to him at all. He could have stayed quiet and no one would have pointed a finger at him for once.
But he did.
When Mammon set his phone down on the table, MC knew instantly that he had lied in the chat.
He was with them the entire day, he didn't have the time to accidentally break a vase. He hadn't even gone down that hallway all day...
But he said something anyway.
And he didn't even look fazed. He didn't turn towards them seeking approval nor did he look irritated that Belphie didn't speak up. He didn't curse at himself for doing something so self-sacrificing either...
When Mammon leaned back into the cushion of his couch, the MC saw something truly remarkable on his face… A smile. A small one, sure, but relaxed… 
Assured in his own actions. Confident in his choice and accepting the consequences… undeserved, and likely thankless, they may be.
A genuine, serene smile…
Mammon wasn't sure what he expected to see when he turned to the MC. Probably confusion or disbelief that he, the Great Mammon, could be so selfless.
Definitely not the awed, lovestruck look he got...
"G-gah!" He panicked slightly and pressed himself back against the armrest of the couch in shock. "Wh-... What'cha lookin at me like that for??"
When the MC didn't answer after a few seconds and just kept staring, he honestly didn't know what to do. Were they broken or something??
"Oi, MC! I asked ya wh-Hey wait a minute!!"
He made a noise between a yelp and a shout when the MC leapt forward and latched their arms onto him. What had gotten into them??
"U-uh… MC? MC?? Damnit MC, answer me already!! Or at least stop squeezin so tight!!... MC!!!"
Leviathan 
To anyone else, it was just Levi being Levi.
He had finished a new episode of his latest animated obsession and he had to share it with someone. Anyone would do, but the MC was always willing to lend an ear.
Something about Levi really changes when he talks about his passions… It's like he comes alive in a whole new way.
He speaks at a mile-a-minute, but that's because he's so excited the words fly from his mouth. 
Some part of him is always bouncing, be it his leg or body. Sometimes even his tail will swish and curl behind him like an ecstatic puppy. And his eyes… 
Citrine pools that glimmer and dilate from the exhilaration of it all. It's his little world and anyone can see he's thrilled to be sharing it. 
You'd never know he was shy. You'd never think he'd look down himself. You'd never guess that he hid himself away… Why would someone so full of passion and life ever want to? Some things are just too beautiful to keep hidden...
Levi had only gotten six minutes into his latest rant before he finally registered how the MC was staring at him…
This man has seen enough shoujo to know what that look means and it shut him up sooo quick. If anyone else were in the room they would have seen a beet-red Levi desperately trying to hide his face.
"M-MC…! S-top staring at me like that…!!"
"Like what~?" 
He didn't have to look at them to hear the teasing lilt in their voice.
"MC…" He peeked out from behind his fingers to see them still staring and covered himself up more vigorously. "Stoooop…!!!"
But secretly? He wished they'd never stop. His cheeks may have been red from embarrassment, but his heart was trying to hammer its way out of his chest to hug them itself. Hell, he'd have happily given it over to them if they'd asked…
Please just let those loving eyes be for him and him alone...
Satan
Soft isn't exactly a word anybody would use to describe Satan, least of all himself.
His anger was quick to spark, his strength was nothing to scoff at, and even his smiles were nothing but plastic for nearly all of his existence…
Nearly.
The MC learned surprisingly quick that there was one thing that could bypass all of the hidden ferocity to Satan's personality. Something that could make him melt like butter in the summer sun…
Satan had always looked a little cute when he was reading. He was easily at his most expressive when engrossed in a thrilling story or deeply intrigued by something he found between the pages of a book…
But watching Satan read about cats, as he was right then, was really something else entirely.
Maybe it was the way his emerald eyes would sparkle or the lopsided grin he just couldn't hide as he would scan the pages about the playful habits of Bengals or the relaxed nature of Ragdolls…
Maybe it was the sheer impassioned dedication he took the subject, pouring countless hours into collecting and memorizing every fact he could from their diets to coat maintenance.
Or maybe it was the sheer fact that anytime he saw a picture of kitty in-print he looked like a besotted schoolgirl drawing hearts around her crush in a teen magazine.
Really, who's to say? But to the MC, it was proof that under all that anger, there was a tender, loving center even for the smallest, softest creatures…
Satan automatically snapped his book closed when he saw MC watching him from behind a bookshelves. Caught red-handed…
He knows exactly how he looks when he's doing his research internally squealing over cat pictures so he tries to do so in private...
He was about to sputter out a defensive explanation but then he registered their face…
He'd seen that look described in stories, romance novels mostly, but he'd rarely seen it in action… and never once leveled at him with such intensity…
Not to be cliche, but frankly his heart skipped a beat.
Satan forgot about his book briefly and got up to close the distance between them, tilting their chin up to keep their eyes on him.
"Like something that you see, Kitten?"
"You could say that…"
He laughed at their attempt to play coy, but let it slide just this once… Easy to do with them looking at him so amorously.
Asmodeus 
Asmo is a very popular demon. Someone so free ought to know quite a lot of people, after all.
And, of course, he had plenty of fans. He made DevilTube videos, hosted radio shows, fashion designed, and even modeled.
So it wasn't very surprising when a young demoness stopped him while he and the MC were out shopping. It wasn’t the first time he had been asked to sign autographs, but this meeting… it was different.
It was clear to them both that this girl was shy. Though she held out the paper, her eyes stayed firmly on the ground and she stumbled on her question… She likely a fan from afar, but everything about her seemed meek… unassuming.
Most people would have just gave the autograph then went on with their day. The interaction could have taken five seconds at most… but not Asmo.
He asked her name… where she was from, how she was feeling, her favorite foods, outfits, makeup, you name it. All with investment.
It was amazing to watch the shy young woman slowly open up, getting more bright and cheerful with each passing question until it evolved into a healthy conversation.
When their little meeting finally wrapped up, he gave her back the paper (now signed) but also fished out a bottle of perfume from among the mountains of bags he was carrying. He gave it to her and wouldn't hear anything to the contrary, he could always buy another.
None of his brothers ever gave Asmo enough credit for his giving nature… even if he had his own way of going about it. Though he cared so much about image and his ability to shine, he never hesitated to make sure that the people around him shined too...
Asmo waved to the fan as she scampered away and was about to  apologize to the MC when he saw their face…
The man knows this look well. He's seen it a billion times, though it was particularly cute coming from them.
"Awww MC! Taken by my beauty are you~?"
He was about ready to kiss their cheek when they responded.
"No, not your looks, Asmo… with you."
… Oh.
It was very rare to see Asmo speechless, but for a few seconds his mind seemed to take in their words… letting them fully sink in before his heart utterly melting.
Oh MC… His sweet MC!!
Asmo ended up dropping the rest of his bags just so he could properly litter his human in nuzzles and kisses, the both of them humming and giggling in delight despite their shameless PDA.
Of course it would be his MC to see that part in himself… Who else would take the time?
Beelzebub 
Food is a precious resource to Beel. For him, it's a lifeline. A good meal could save him from the brink of starvation…
But that still doesn't make him incapable of sharing from time to time.
He and the MC were walking back to the House after getting takeout from Hell's Kitchen. Beel hadn't even waited until they left the restaurant to start eating his share, spilling the smell of fresh food into the air around them…
Things were going fine on their route back until they heard whimpering behind them…
A hellhound puppy, not quite old enough to bear its fangs, seemingly followed them as they were walking… It looked like it had been out for some time and eyed their food with hungry eyes, but weak posture. Who knows when it last had a meal?
The MC was about to tug at Beel's sleeve and say something, but their demon was ahead of them this time.
A casual observer might have gawked at the sight of Gluttony kneeling down to offer such a lowly creature a sandwich. But the MC knew better. When you spend your whole life hungry, nobody more than you understands that kind of pain in someone else. 
This reaction wasn't out of character for Beel, it was elementary.
And when the puppy finished its meal and covered Beel's cheeks with appreciative licks, he just laughed and scratched behind its ears. Amethyst eyes looking more relieved at its health than disappointed he lost some of his lunch...
Food was Beel's lifeline, but kindness is what made him who he was…
When the pup finally scampered off, Beel looked over at the MC to tell them it'd be alright and saw their face…
He wasn't really sure what they were staring at… Did he have something between his teeth again?
"MC? Are you okay...?"
They laughed at him for some reason but pulled him in for a hug so they must have meant well.
"You're so sweet, Beel…"
Beel's never one to refuse a compliment so he just hugged them back, beaming.
"Thank you, MC…"
Belphegor 
To say that Belphegor tended to be on the melancholic side would be an understatement… It wasn’t that he was incapable of expressing joy, it was just harder for him to do than most. Not helped, of course, by his tendency to keep his true feelings vague and hard to pinpoint.
But on those rare occasions where he was overjoyed… Belphie could really be something special…
The MC and Belphie were attending one of Beel's games and it was a tight one… Both teams had spent most of it tied and Beel's team was running out of time to overtake that slim margin.
Belphie had always been a supporter of his twin's athletics, but this time it was tense even for him. He kept on the edge of his seat and didn't even nod off during the breaks like he normally would… The MC could just tell how nervous he was for Beel…
But right as the time was about to run out, Beel made a last minute score and sure, the whole field erupted, but Belphie? Belphie hollered.
The normally sleepy and mellow demon was on his feet in an instant and practically shredding his vocal chords in excitement. If his tail had been out, it would have been beating against the bleachers like a war-drum. And his expression?
Belphie's smile is said to stop hearts for a reason. When he puts his all into a grin it's almost like he ascends to Heaven once more, as pure as an angel's choir and as warm as a summer's breeze… Nothing in his eyes but pride and adoration for his beloved twin brother.
Truly, a heartwarming sight to behold…
Belphie didn't calm down until the rest of the crowd settled and was about to point out Beel's skill to the MC when he noticed their face.
… oh no… Why do they look so sappy…?
"You really love your brother, don't you?"
Belphie quickly hid his thoughts behind an irritated frown and plopped back down in his seat… but that didn't shield them from seeing his pink cheeks.
"Of course I do. What kind of question is that?"
He debated just joining Beel on the field to hide his embarrassment when he heard them snicker back.
"Yeah, you're right… Don't mind me."
Oh he minded. He minded a lot that he let his carefully veiled image slip like that. But thinking back to that smile on their face…?
Maybe being a little open wasn't so bad after all...
5K notes · View notes
sleepy-belphie · 3 years
Note
I have a request if you’re up for it. An MC who just arrived in the Devildom who’s lover just dumped them the day prior. The bros know MC isn’t emotionally or romantically available at the time but the bros still fall in love regardless. How will the bros handle the situation? Thank you! 🙏💗
Hi! I sort of took this idea and ran with it and wrote basically a headcanon short story for each bro lmao. Sorry I got a bit carried away but I hope you like this and it satisfies you! :) 
Also thank you so much @midnight-dome for the help with Asmo, you’re a lifesaver
Tags: @kawaiiblack
~~~~~
Lucifer:
The success of the program depends on your wellbeing
So he checks in on you every other day like clockwork 
“Is there anything you need to make your stay more comfortable?”
You always say no
At first, he’s glad you’re staying in 
Because it means less trouble for him
But when you skip all of your classes one day, he comes to your room ready to give you a firm reminder of your tasks here
He’s about to knock when he hears you sob 
Now, Lucifer has heard a lot of crying in his life
But he’s never heard someone sound so completely broken
He shocks himself when he turns on his heels and walks away
He shocks himself even more when he texts the group chat and demands everyone leaves you alone for the day
That evening he comes into your room with a small plate of food
By then you were are least on top of your sheets
You knew he was gonna ask the same question as always
But this time, his words were different
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Help?” 
He simply nods
And though he didn’t outright say what he meant by help, you knew
“I...don’t know?”
“Hm, okay. I’m going to listen to some music in my study. The door will be unlocked should you wish to join me.”
Then he’s gone
The few precious moments Lucifer isn’t working, he prefers to not be disturbed
So why on earth did he invite you to join him in his study?
He doesn’t have time to ponder it because the door opens and you come in with a blanket wrapped around you
The first night you both listen in comfortable silence
A few nights in, you start asking Lucifer about the records he puts on and he has no qualms educating you on it
On night 10 you tell him about the breakup
Once you’re done he, again, asks the same question
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
‘You’ve done more than enough to help me Lucifer, thank you.”
He finds himself blushing from the sincerity in your eyes and the warmth in your smile
That night you fall asleep before the record finishes
Surely you’d wake up aching if he left you in a chair
So he picks you up, carries you to your room, and tucks you into bed carefully
He tells himself he’s doing it for Diavolo
It’s for the program, this is his job
He’s gonna need time to accept his own feelings before he can tell you anything
For now, he’ll keep doing his “job” and spending evenings with you
Mammon:
He didn’t want to be your babysitter
He was a busy guy! He had stuff to do, money to make, things to steal
Some days he gets Beelzebub to keep an eye on you so he can do what he wants
One night in particular he heads to your room to make sure you won’t interfere with his plans
“Yo! The Great Mammon has things to do so don’t-”
He pauses when he sees you sitting on your bed with your headphones plugged into your laptop
He would have assumed you were just watching a sad movie by the tears streaks on your face
But the pain in your eyes…
He’s seen that look before
His brothers held that same look the day they fell from Heaven and lost Lilith
Mammon sits on the bed and you jump, finally noticing him
You expected him to make fun of you but instead, he grabs the tissue box on your bedside table and hands it to you
He glances at your laptop to see what you were watching and sees a paused video of you and someone else
You tell him about the breakup and Mammon listens closely
“What a jerk! Ya deserve better than that! I’d teach ‘em a lesson if they ever showed their face around here!”
You smile for the first time since he came in the room and he feels like he’s done something right
“How about we get some late-night food? I know a 24-hour restaurant with the best baked newt ever. Your treat.”
He’s shocked when you agree
He makes a point to hang out with you more often
He can’t recall exactly when you went from “a human” to “his human” 
Maybe it was when you held his hand while you erased all your photos and videos of your ex from your computer
Or when you texted him at 3am because you couldn’t sleep and before he could even think about it he was up and on his way to your room
Or when he spotted you in one of his jackets while walking home from RAD
But his greed was kicking in and he wanted you to be his and only his
However, much like he puts himself first, he knows you need to do the same
So though his nature and mind wants to kiss you silly and have you for himself
Part of him knows he’ll ruin things if he lets his greed take over
So he’ll fight his nature and try his best to be patient
Leviathan:
He had been playing one of his games online
He’s on a big winning streak and feeling a bit cocky
He sees he’s been matched with someone else so he gets into gamer mode 
Then he loses the first round
He’s a bit shocked and pissed that his streak was now broken but he has to prove his superiority to whoever this opponent was
So he rematches them
And loses again
And again
He loses 7 rounds in a row
By this point he is fuming
So like any salty gamer he sends a very lengthy, angry message to their inbox
Accusing them of using cheats and hacks because there was no way anyone was more skilled than him at this game
He gets a reply a few minutes later
“Um.....is this Leviathan? Avatar of Envy? It’s MC…”
You knew it was Levi because his username is the same across all his social media platforms
Cue Levi barreling into your room a minute later
“How are you so good!? You’re cheating, aren’t you!? You cheater!’
You weren’t cheating, you just had been playing games day in and day out to distract yourself so you got really good at it
Levi all but demands you to come to his room and show him what you know
You were already playing all night anyway so why not play with someone? 
Initially, Levi would have you come over just to show him your tactics 
(Also to get some team wins on his stats because he never has anyone to play with)
But you were actually pretty chill for a normie
Maybe if he exposed you to his otaku ways you would take to them and he wouldn’t be the only one in the house anymore!
You don’t become an otaku but you do get invested in almost every anime he shows you
He starts inviting you over for midnight premieres of new episodes
He starts buying extra merch because what if you wanted one?
He was used to disproving looks from his brothers when he mass buys stuff from Akuzon
But you only smile and listen when he tells you about his new special edition item
You never once judged him and his unconventional ways
This epiphany makes him extra nervous for your weekly hangouts
It was only a matter of time before you came across a break up in an anime
When the episode ended you told him about your break up and how the protagonist reminded you of yourself because they also were taking a break from love
Levi has seen this anime before actually
He remembers how the protagonist reacted to a side character confessing to them and it went bad
So while he knows he likes you, he holds off on saying anything because the last thing he wants is to be a bad story arc in your life
Lucky for him he’s always a flustered blushing mess so you shouldn’t suspect a thing
Satan:
He is the Avatar of Wrath so whenever there is rage, he is aware
He feels anger radiating through the house one day and thinks his brothers are just fighting again
Imagine his surprise when he realizes the source of the anger is coming from your room
He walks in and sees you throwing things around and screaming, your room was destroyed
He sees you’re about to step on some glass and instantly swoops in and picks you up so you don’t hurt yourself
But then you curl up against him and burst into tears
He stands there, not quite sure what to do 
He ends up sitting on the bed and letting you cry for a while
You word vomit about your break up and he listens carefully and notes the anger welling up inside you as you speak
He knows all too well what anger can do to someone and a fragile human shouldn’t have to go through that
“Would you like some tea?”
He can spare 30 minutes for some small talk with the human if it meant that you wouldn’t be left in your thoughts
You look at him like he has three heads but agree because your room is a mess and you don’t wanna deal with it right now
Tea time becomes a daily occurrence and soon enough it escalates to full-on hangouts
Going to the bookstore, going to cat cafes, going wherever you wanted to really
One time you both took a day trip to the human world
Lucifer wasn’t happy to find out his brother and you were gone for an entire day but he lets it go when he sees that you’re smiling genuinely for the first time in weeks
What Satan didn’t expect was how these outings made him feel
He finds himself distracted from his books because he can’t stop thinking about how cute you looked holding that black cat at the cafe
Or how happy you looked when you took him to that ice cream shop in your hometown that you really love
He wakes up and you’re the first thing to pop into his mind
He’s not dumb, he knows he’s fallen in love
But he also knows this isn’t the right time, you aren’t ready
So he’ll keep being there for you as a friend
And if you ever want him to be there as something more, he’ll happily oblige
Asmodeus:
There was a movie night at the House of Lamentation
Today’s movie was an action movie, courtesy of Mammon
Amidst all the face punching and explosions, there was a budding romance between the main characters
After the third obnoxious makeout scene, you leave the room claiming you need to go to the restroom
But you leave just a *little* too fast and Asmo can feel something is up
And he thrives on gossip so he intends to find out what is it
He leaves the room a few minutes later and catches you in the hallway, determined to get you to spill the tea
You tell him about the breakup
He wasn’t prepared for the tea to be so bitter
“Oh. Well, you know what’s good for that? Face masks!” 
He had to save face somehow and beauty was his default
He’s a bit shocked when you agree but you both ditch movie night to do face masks and talk a bit
He decides to share a couple of bad date experiences he’s had to make you feel better
“Trust me, you haven’t felt embarrassment until you have someone vomit Enfield brains on your new pants and shoes while at one of the hottest clubs in the Devildom.”
You spent the entire night giggling and listening to his stories
Devildom products are surprisingly effective on your skin so you keep asking Asmo to show you new products
Plus his company is nice
Self-care days become a common occurrence
Then those self-care days become self-care sleepovers
He starts intentionally waiting to try anything new because he wants you to be there when he does
He buys more of those scented candles you told him smelled nice
A few weeks later you’re having a self-care sleepover again and you have this really cute focused look on your face while painting your nails
He knows he likes you, but this was different than his usual attraction
He didn’t want to fuck you
Well he did but not just fuck you
He wouldn’t mind if there was something more
But you routinely ended your self-care nights by yelling ‘Fuck love!’ at the top of your lungs and laughing
So he knows now isn’t the time and he’s actually okay with that
You were a sight to behold regardless of his relationship status with you
But he hopes you’ll indulge in him one day
Beelzebub:
Mammon keeps pushing his human watching duties on Beel
But he doesn’t really care because he’s being paid in cheesecake
After his third day of keeping an eye on you, he notices you aren’t eating much
Being the Avatar of Gluttony, this is basically a crime
He starts bringing extra snacks with him when he hangs out with you
“I think the chocolate flavor is better than the vanilla. What do you think?”
He actually doesn’t have a preference 
He just wants to know which snacks you like more so he can bring more of them
He makes a game out of it so you don’t think about how much you’re eating
“It motivates me to work out longer when I get a snack, could you help me?”
You sit on his back and after every pushup, you both eat a bit of whatever snack he has
He keeps going until he thinks you’ve eaten a decent amount
Or you say you’re getting full
Belphie notices that Beel is refilling his snack stash more often but he doesn’t say anything
Beel feels an immense sense of accomplishment when you finish your plate at dinner a few days later
Soon after you tell him about the breakup
“It hit me hard but you made it easier to cope, Beel. These hangouts are the highlight of my day so thank you.”
There’s a certain pang Beel gets in his stomach when he’s really hungry
Somehow your words made that pang happen in his chest
But this didn’t hurt him, quite the opposite actually
He felt good, he felt happy
It was strange for his stomach to be the quiet one while his heart went wild
But this wasn’t a change he minded too much
He wasn’t sure what to make of it but he knows he wants to figure it out with you
And he’ll take his time doing so because he liked how things were now
Belphegor:
He’s intrigued by you after the first week of your stay
He’s never seen a human who slept as much as he did
Frankly, he was impressed
Until Lucifer informed everyone about your recent breakup and made it clear to not upset you
That’s when Belphie realized these were not the leisurely naps he takes, but depression naps
One day he sees you sleeping in the living room and you looked so distressed
Sleeping was meant to be a peaceful state but you looked so unhappy
So he wakes you up
“You’re in my sleeping spot.”
You weren’t in his sleeping spot.
“Oh sorry, I’ll move-”
“You’re already here. We can both fit.” 
Before you can protest he’s all comfy next to you and falling back asleep
Having another person next to you was kind of comforting so you let it go and go back to sleep
What you didn’t know was Belphie could partially influence your dreams
He can make them more pleasant but he can’t control what you dream about
He knows it works when he wakes up and you have a relaxed expression on your sleeping face
You wake up soon after looking confused
“Good dream?”
“I think? I had a dream I rode a unicorn to the moon then carved my initials into it?”
Napping together in the living room becomes a routine
And every time you woke up you told him about the dream you had with a small smile
A few weeks later he notices he no longer has to influence your dreams for them to be good
So he leaves you be and instead curls up in the attic for his afternoon nap
He wakes up a bit when he feels someone lay down next to him
It’s probably Beel
“Why didn’t you tell me you moved napping spots?”
His eyes open and he looks over to see you pouting at him
“I just sorta ended up here.”
“Well, I can’t nap without my cuddle buddy now can I?”
You’re teasing him and he should be annoyed
But he’s blushing
He spoons you to hide that fact, resting his forehead on your shoulder
But while your dreams were getting better, it didn’t mean you were ready to move on
So he just enjoys his intimate cuddling sessions with you and tries not to think too hard about the fact that he really likes how your body fits against his
1K notes · View notes
xo-alie-xo · 3 years
Text
PORTWELL LONG GAME OR RINA SLOWBURN.
You can only choose one poison.🍷
Listen up my Wildcats.🐱
We all ship each character with happiness. No matter how much you love to hate them, a majority of us simply adores the characters and want the best for them. Then comes relationships and it's okay to ship our favorites.⛴
I'm a diehard Rina shipper and I know in my heart that they are series endgame. The set up, the natural chemistry, their mutual understanding, the surprises and angst literally put me on chokehold. So I'm 100% a Rina shipper till the end. I'm here for the slowburn and their development rather than one shots. They are worth the pain. 😭❤
Tumblr media
Let me start with Ricky Bowen now.
Ricky shouldn't to be with Gina because he's hurting her mentality. He's not insensitive on purpose. Like when he tried to stop Big Red from telling her his message to Nina because he KNOWS it'll hurt her.
If you think, that Ricky didn't understand clearly when Gina confessed, think again. He shushed her. Kept their thing a secret from everyone. He knows he feels some type of way and she feels something too. But this boy is so used to safeguarding his childhood norms and has very little adaptability. Hence, he pretended to ignore everything between them because his home stability was falling apart and he clinged on to Nina, his constant childhood love.
He's a traumatised 16-17 year old boy that needs to heal and grow. This episode was heartbreaking because he had to accept that he had to let Nina go because their once upon a time fairytale had become toxic.
People change. I'm not the same person I was when I was 16 lmao. Being together as childhood lovers means growing together and accepting each other's growth. Which Ricky couldn't. He clutched to the idea of Nini. Even his love confession. It was sooo sweet but all he did was focus on their history.
This boy needs time to heal and maybe seek professional therapy. It would be so DAMN HISTORIC if Disney decides to take psychological issues seriously and show how he's dealing with his anxiety, pills and psychotherapy. He needs to breathe before he can be with any girl for that matter. He's hurting and isn't trying to hurt anyone on purpose. Including Gina.
Him asking her for advice on Nini was a dumb, insensitive move. But he's trying to find a way to build some supportive friendship that they shared in early season one.
As for now, this boy needs to get his own grip on life and heal.
Tumblr media
As for our Queen Gina
In Gina's confession, she focuses on their future. She basically said, "I wouldn't quit on a possible future of us being together despite obstacles. Because I never quit. But moving away isn't in my control." Ricky deep down knows this, encouraged her to say it, teary eyed, despite right after getting back together with Nini. Gina is his future. She went to his new house. And I also have this feeling that when she was given a chance to stay, she stayed partly because of Ricky. She left a chance to be with her mom because she prioritised their relationship. Because she never quits. 💪🏼
But she came back and found out Ricky has gotten back together with Nini.😭 What she doesn't know is Ricky got together with Nina before her confession, and after Gina kept dodging his messages. She's hurt and questions why she returned because she isn't particularly close to anyone. Hence, she was so silent at the after party. She thinks it'll be fine, "she'll live", and finds other reasons to find permanence. Her arc this season has been settling down in East High, despite the pain of losing and being 'betrayed' by Ricky, she finds other reasons to stay. 🏡
This kind of contrasts her with Nina. Nina left her dream school and came to Salt Lake because she missed her established home, and not just because of Ricky. Nina returned and was loved and embraced by Ricky Bowen.💕 Gina came back to a semi new place called Salt Lake because of her promise of a future to Ricky. But she got stabbed and she bled. 💔🗡
Think about her situation. She feels confused, alone, heartbroken, out of place and seperated from her mom. She's broken and hurting too. And she doesn't need more from Ricky's accidental or intentional 'sick burns'. That's the one line where he was such a jerk and I can't defend him here. 😠
Tumblr media
Here comes the Caswells.
Her second family. A place of healthy stability. A home that accepted her. Ashlyn, her roomie and her confidante. EJ, the misunderstood boy who saw her value and bought her plane ticket.
Let's get to EJ.
At first, I wasn't too keen on seeing Portwell's development. But then that video chat where they talk about the possibility of her staying and him convincing her. Had me sold for a solid brother-sister relationship. Few episodes later, when Gina's pain seemed to be oblivious to everyone, he was the only one who asked her how she was, and saw her glow. The comfort she must've felt.
Tumblr media
Not that she needs a man's validation, but she must be feeling like a second choice and feeling a little insecure because of Ricky. But EJ lifts her up and I genuinely saw her smile. This boy has her back whenever. The man she can lean on and truly sees how special she is. She no longer feels alone now that she has his entire fam and other friends. She genuinely feels a place of belonging and happiness when she's the apple of his eye. Notice how happy she is? How happy this boy is? She's going through her own issues and she has found ground with EJ.
I was very doubtful when they started hinting at a romantic direction. Because EJ would be used as plot device again for a girl to get to Ricky.😤 This man doesn't deserve to be second best to anyone, just like Gina.😑 That's why I'm still hesitant on shipping them at least temporarily. EJ needs to be something even more special to Gina. They need to show each other how special and treasured they are to each other despite feeling like rejects. They are each other's source of comfort.
Tumblr media
I'm sure they can keep EJ at East High for the next season. Whether it's the drama club, or the AV club or going to a local college. So he will be there for Gina. I don't know how they can work out a relationship with much distance as Rini's fell out when she moved away. So, if EJ leaves again, it'll again shake up Gina. Her being worried whether he'll date college girls, second thoughts, etc. I don't want them to go through that. And if they do move on to romantic Portwell, make sure it's not plot device for Rina. So you can either have Portwell endgame or Rina Endgame.
Basically I want Gina to be treated so right that she understands she doesn't need Ricky. And when he does ask her out, and he makes her feel like a second choice or a rebound, she says NO. Because EJ has helped regain her self assurance. Eventually I want Gina to confide in EJ about her and Ricky. EJ is jealous but also angry about how Ricky has been hurting her. And becomes damn protective of his 'babe'. Ricky gets jealous of their relationship, restarting Ricky and EJ's old rivalry. But this time, it's not because Gina is his girlfriend, but because she's EJ's best friend who he has a crush on and wants what's best for her.
If it's meant to be Rina endgame
EJ- RICKY, YOU IDIOT! You have no clue how to treat her right. You don't put her first. You mislead her. Get the hell away from her! She's too powerful and beautiful, she doesn't deserve your scraps. I know how she feels for you. I wish I were you. I would treat her like a queen. I don't mind even waiting years till she's ready. She deserves that. You're so lucky you have even a small chance that I may never have. So get your act together, prove you're worth it to win her over. All I want is for her to be happy. Even if it's with someone else. And maybe then I'll stop threatening you to stay away from her.😠
Ricky- .....I don't know what I'm more scared of. Change, or losing the girl I fell for or YOU. Okay, losing her but you're a close second.😬
If it's Portwell endgame.
Ricky- I messed up. Make sure you don't mess up with her. You'll regret it forever.
EJ- I'd rather get hit by thousand basketballs than ever hurt her. I'll be her plus one and her best friend until she's ready to be with me. I know she's ready now too. But I want her to know I'm willing to wait till she graduates before we make it official. I'm in it for the long game.
As for their age gap. I'm 100% sure Portwell won't kiss this season. If they do, it'll be next when Sofia turns 18. They are professional actors who are cast because they are the perfect fit for the role and are expected to carry out the storyline. But I suppose fearing some outbursts, they might delay Sofia kissing anyone till next season. It's so weird because Olivia was maybe 17 when Matt was 21-22 when they kissed in season one. But no one had a problem with that. But for this, they do. Remember, they are professional actors. They are acting! Sometimes, actors are over 10 years apart (but above 18) and act as romantic partners.
As for their characters, they are only two years apart. That's hardly any difference once you're over the age of 18. Age of consent is 16. But adults above 18 are only allowed to have sex with adults above 18. So, age isn't a problem here because EJ is a gentleman and is genuinely interested in her and isn't trying to get in her pants. So age isn't the issue when it comes to dating. It's the maturity. Gina is very mature and gives very sound advice. But I can see EJ being patient enough till she turns 18 just to kiss her because he loves her. 😚
As for the Ashlyn remark, "You look like a kid to me rn". He was JOKING.😂 Don't take things out of context. I tell my cousin sister that all the time. But she's three years younger than me and a grown adult. I don't see her as a kid but it's just a cousin teasing her younger cousin that's she's a little immature. I'm Matt's age and I'm very mature for my age and since I was a teenager, I always matched up with boys a little older than me. Now that I'm in my early 20s, I've dated boys even close to 30. So age is just a number.
EJ dating Gina and giving her quick kisses is fine. But to have a strong sexual element in their relationship (including making out), he'll have to wait till she's 18+. And I'm sure for that he'll wait till she's ready even past her early 20s. Age is really just a number and we can't help who we fall in love with. Trust me, I've been there.😂 So I can see EJ feeling conflicted about his feelings that are clear at this point.
They might not be a perfect fit, but they make each other sooo happy. They deserve a lot more than a short lived fling.😟 They are either endgame or Rina is. You can't have both as a Rina unless you're an EJ hater who wants him to exist as plot device. Nope! He's sooo much more precious than that.
But Jack on the other hand....I'm okay if he's the one to make Ricky or EJ jealous. Because he's just been introduced and it's okay if a character is used, but only once, for someone else to realize their feelings. 💁🏽‍♀️
In short.
Ricky needs help and needs to be on his own. No girlfriends allowed.🙅🏽‍♀️🚫
Needs to give both Gina and Nina space for them to grow on their own too.🌳
Ricky needs to understand the core of his problems and become more adaptable via therapy. Maybe the psychologist will point out his unresolved feelings for Gina, or he will conclude it himself. And in comes Ricky-pining-for-Gina season three.
Ricky needs to fully get over Nina before he moves on to anyone. Same for Gina if Portwell were to happen. No one deserves to be second choice.
Gina isn't Ricky's cushion. She's a living person with strong feelings for him and shouldn't be subjected to share his pain. She already struggles with her own issues.
Ricky needs to stay single till he wins back Gina and prove he's worth it. He needs to show even if another girl wants him, he'll never quit on Gina ever again. Even if he has to watch her be with someone else. *cough parallels*.
It's either romantic Rina then Portwell endgame OR Portwell flirty besties but Rina endgame. You and I can choose only one because my boy EJ shouldn't be used as plot device for a girl to leave for Ricky ever again.
Portwell's age difference can be practically solved and isn't much of an issue unless they get hot and heavy before Gina turns 18 which is impossible considering this is Disney. 🤣🤣
Jack and Gina will be plot device material and purely so sentimental to us OG Andi Mack fans. More than any ship, this is what I'm looking for. Sort of an Andi Mack crack ship for season 3a. It's gonna be soooo funny. 😍😂
Tumblr media
I respect everyone's ship. I see what you're seeing. And I'm not going to invalidate your ship. But unless it's done right, I won't jump from the Rina ship. I liked Rini. I like Portwell. I like AU Juffy crackship haha.😂 But as for me, I'm still holding on to Rina slowburn.
Preparing myself for the pain. 😭🔥
(But if I had to pair two characters without Disney getting in the way, it would be Gini. The power duo. Undeniable chemistry. They can be written so well because of their layered relationship and contrasting personalities.🤩 The classic rivals to friends to lovers. But that's a talk for another day lmao.)
Thanks for reading my opinion, Wildcat!🐱❤
87 notes · View notes
twoflipstwotwists · 3 years
Link
Becky Downie has missed out on an Olympics before. In a 13-year gymnastics career, which has seen her win 14 major medals, she felt the heartbreak of watching a home Games from the sidelines in 2012. But this time is different, she says.
On Monday, her shock omission from the Tokyo 2020 team was announced, and she now says she can “never forget” the turmoil she endured from British Gymnastics during the selection process.  She also hints that her treatment was influenced by her decision to speak out at the culture of abuse within gymnastics, suggesting she was “made to feel not welcome” at the sport’s training hub at Lilleshall after going public.
In an exclusive interview with Telegraph Sport, Downie describes the last few weeks as "the hardest of her life". She had thought things could not get worse than 2020: Olympic postponement, the fallout after she joined whistleblowers to speak publicly about what she described as "normalised" abusive training environments, and her father's time in intensive care battling Covid-19.
But last month tragedy struck when her brother Josh, 24, died suddenly from an undiagnosed heart condition while playing cricket. It was news Downie says "you never imagine receiving". To make things worse, she received the devastating call on the eve of the final Olympic team trial, while apart from her family at a hotel in Cardiff.
"I got a knock on the door after midnight, and my first thought was it must be drug testers," Downie says of that night. "I was half asleep, completely dazed. The coaches came in and when they told me [that Josh had died], I thought, am I actually dreaming this? There are really no words to really describe it. There were a lot of tears. It was the longest journey of my life, getting back to be with my family in Nottingham."
Sat in her living room in Nottingham now, Downie still has a look of disbelief on her face as she describes the events of the last few weeks. Condolence cards are placed around the room to mark how raw and recent her family's grief remains. Mounting more pain on top of that seems unimaginable, but the blows have kept coming.
Just two months ago, she was on top of the world after executing what she believes is a world leading uneven bars routine. At 29, she felt in the form of her life. When she posted a video of her routine online, major champions were applauding her in the comments, even the legendary Nadia Comaneci. Downie believes the routine put her in contention for a gold medal.
But last Friday her appeal was denied, and British Gymnastics confirmed she would not go to Tokyo. It is less than two years since she won a stunning silver medal at the World Championships - a competition that counted as a trial for the Olympic squad - but somehow she has failed to make even the three reserve spots for Tokyo. Though Downie has wished all of the gymnasts selected the best, she remains baffled by her exclusion - especially because she “met all the criteria” and her trials scores put her top of the rankings in bars.
British Gymnastics have defended the decision, saying they are focusing on medals in the team event, and that Downie's specialism in bars posed a "risk" to this strategy. But it has caused uproar, with a petition calling for an independent review of the selection process receiving 25,000 signatures in the last five days. Beyond selection though, Downie says what hurts the most is the way she believes the decision was made and how she was treated in the process.
After missing the final trial due to bereavement, Downie and sister Ellie were given another opportunity by British Gymnastics to compete for their spot on the team 10 days later. Though Ellie elected not to do so, Downie made the brave decision to take up the offer.
"I know that Josh would want me to, he wouldn't want me not to try," she says. What followed though, was a process where she alleges British Gymnastics lacked "any element of compassion".
They did not allow her to compete at her home gym in Nottingham or at the national centre at Lilleshall. British Gymnastics then rejected a venue she and her coach proposed and instead suggested she return to Cardiff - a six-hour round trip from her home and the very place she had learned of her brother's passing.
"That's the part that hurt me most. I refused. Why would I want to go back there? I don’t think that should have been asked of me at all."
Another venue was confirmed instead, and though British Gymnastics emphasised their intention to replicate as closely as possible the environment that the other gymnasts had competed in in Cardiff - for the benefit of fairness - Downie says it was her that was put at the disadvantage.
New obstacles included British Gymnastics failing to book her training slot at the chosen venue - a basic thing that all of the athletes had for their trial - which saw her make a 90-minute trip and have to plead with the Leisure Centre to remain open. She also had an existing dispute with the governing body because they refused to allow her to use equipment at the trial which more closely resembled that being used in Tokyo. As a bars specialist, this meant she couldn't perform her highest difficulty routine. "It's like telling Lewis Hamilton to get in a Ferrari and drive - in a sport of small margins, and high performance, equipment is always a factor."
Actually competing in the trial, while still reeling from the death of her brother, was "the hardest thing I ever had to do", and she describes national coaches walking past her wordlessly while she “sobbed uncontrollably”. But afterwards, she and Ellie walked out of the gym with "not a doubt in our mind" that she had done enough.
"If I can perform in that environment, which was harder than any Olympic final would ever be, I’m really proud," she says.
But, according to British Gymnastics, it was not enough. Knowing now that the team event was the priority in selection, she believes her exclusion from the team was already a foregone conclusion before her trial.
British Gymnastics "categorically" denies the suggestion that the trial was a "tick box" exercise, and say they trust that selection was decided purely on merit, but Downie is unconvinced. To add insult to injury, she was given a 48-hour deadline to appeal the decision, falling on the day of her brother's funeral.
"It makes me feel sick that they treated me like that," she says. "It hurts me to know the things I had to miss. Picking the flowers for the funeral whilst I was away trialling, a tribute for my brother at his cricket club, which happened when I wasn’t even given a proper training slot. I missed that, for what? There’s so much that was hurtful.
"I'll never forget that. And no amount of apologies will ever make that okay."
Downie and her sister were two of the only current British gymnasts to speak out about abuse in the sport last year, which triggered an independent review commissioned by UK Sport and Sport England. When she was left out of the squad on Monday, lobbying group Gymnasts for Change called it a "sinister warning" being sent by British Gymnastics to whistleblowers.
Does Downie think this outcome is a result of her speaking out? "It's very hard to say... But I definitely know that there has been a big behavioural shift towards me and Ellie, since that point, from certain individuals, decision makers. We’ve gone down to Lilleshall and been made to feel not welcome.
"I have been told by a person of significant importance - in the national team environment - that a lot of coaches do not agree with what we've done. Maybe I did open my mouth a year too soon, I'm not sure. If this is the sacrifice [an Olympics] then this is the sacrifice, change needs to happen. I’m proud of what I did and I don’t regret it."
Tokyo was meant to be her final bow, but now Downie has spent her first week in months out of the gym.
Downie is adamant though that she is not done with gymnastics. Despite the heartache and hurt caused, her love for the sport remains strong.
"It’s hard for me to think, can I be selected for a team ever again? I do know I want to carry on, because I want to show that routine. I haven’t done two years of work to sit on the sofa. There’s a World Championships this year. They certainly don’t have control over my final chapter. I know I want to compete again on my terms."
But the dream of Olympic gold is gone: "I genuinely believe that we could have done it. I think I had a shot at being the first female Olympic champion Britain has had in gymnastics."
82 notes · View notes
greenygreenland · 3 years
Text
Sink or Swim: Kai x Reader [kinda angsty]
-tbh i had a tiny crush on Kai growing up
-i still swoon over him when he's cool but like, lloyd has stolen my heart
-you all live in yang's temple still
-as a note, i write for female readers because uhhh yeah plz don't be mad at me ;-; (and either way, you can always change the words around in your head if it bothers you)
Summary: Kai needs help. You're there for him, catching him before he sinks.
Tumblr media
Kai's got Lloyd, but who's got Kai?
Ninjago was filled with a variety of perils. Some were easier to see, such as destruction of any population within the premises of Ninjago city. Other times, it was minuscule, like a speck of dust. If you looked hard enough without blinking, you could see it. But most times it was invisible.
The sun was bright today, shining past the swiftly moving clouds as you clashed under its heat. Sparks flew as your katana slammed into Cole's, who skillfully parried your blows. You readied another combo, twisting to the right and faking a slash before spinning and striking to the left.
"Cole look out!" shouted Kai. Cole wasn't fast enough, and you knew it was because he wasn't used to using a katana. His hammer lay on the platform leading inside, right by Jay's side under the sunshine.
You suddenly realised Cole would be split in half if you didn't stop. But how could you when the inertia practically sent you flying towarss him? "Cole--!"
Clang!
Kai parried the attack. He hit your blade with so much force that it was sent flying across the courtyard, thankfully, clattering harmlessly on the ground. You heaved out a harsh sigh and slapped your knees. "That was close. Sorry Cole." He chuckled, giving Kai a good slap on the shoulder.
"For once our Hot-Head wasn't distracted by his 'oh-so-perfect' looks." Cole said. "How did you do that so fast?" Kai sheathed his sword with a shrug. It was odd to see him so quiet, especially around this time in the day. His expression remained relaxed, but it was void of its usual smug smirk. "I don't know, I just improvised."
You can't help the frown settling on your lips. There was an edge to Kai's voice, as if he had just returned from an unseen battle between life and death. He looked normal, yet the way he forced out a small laugh made you cringe.
"I'm going inside, think I might shower." he abruptly announced. "Don't train too hard or you might bake in the sun!" You watched as he fiddled with the strap on his sheath, twiddling it and running it between his fingers. He caught your stare and flashed a fleeting smile your way, yet it didn't feel genuine. "Kai--"
He pretended not to hear you and rushed through the temple doors. Your frown deepened. "He looks upset." Jay rested his cheek in his hand with a snort. "I'll say. He looked like he was thinking hard about something."
"But what?" Cole inquired with a sigh. "Nothing's been happening around Ninjago, shouldn't he be happy about it? He can play video games all he wants now, or, I don't know, talk to Skylor on the phone? Morro's gone and Lloyd's fine now." Zane raised doubtful brow. He took a seat by Jay and leaned his head back against one of the supporting beams. It was an odd sight to see everyone so deeply in thought again, especially since none of you should have been deeply in thought in the first place.
"Lloyd has not fully recovered." Zane notes. "He suffers from mental trauma and is regaining his strength as we speak." Nya hummed in agreement. She set her weapon down with a thoughtful nod and leaned against a supporting beam. "I don't know about you, but he seemed kind of sad. Why don't you talk to him (Y/n)?"
"Yeah, you're his girlfriend so you guys share a special connection." piped up Jay. You cam't deny that. Your relationship with Kai was special, so he told you certain things no one else had ever known about him. Whether it be about his past, or even what he dreams for the future, you knew it all.
Well except this.
You stood up, ignoring the low cracks from your aching body. "I'll be back." You pulled open the temple's doors, gently shutting it behind you as you surveyed the vast room. The main hall was empty, save for Sensei Wu who sat at a table drinking tea. He turned to you, eyeing your troubled expression knowingly. "Kai is in his room." he simply stated. You smiled at him gratefully. "Thank you Sensei."
You sprinted up the stairs, caring not if you skipped the creaky steps or walked right over them. It was quite tranquil in the halls of the quiet temple, yet somehow, it made you uncomfortable. "Kai?" You stopped in front of his door. "Kai--"
Sniffling. That was the first thing that caught your ears. Your fingers paused on the door handle, slipping past the cool metal as you continued to listen to the sounds. You knew what crying sounded like, but this? It was earth-shattering. The way he cried sounded exactly like raw agony. It was painful to listen to, yet you couldn't bring yourself to walk away.
If Kai was suffering, you had to be there for him like all the times he had been there for you, or Lloyd, or Nya and Jay and Zane and Cole.
Your fingers wrapped around the door handle. You gently knocked and peeked inside. He sat on his bed with his back facing you. His katana lay on the floor instead of of by his bed or next to his pillow like he usially did.
"Kai?" Your voice came out as a gentle whisper. "Are you okay?" His crying ceased so quickly that if you hadn't been standing outside listening, you would have thought everythimg were your imagination.
"Yeah." he steadily said. "I'm okay. I just needed to take a break after that spar. It got really intense." He laughed. It wasn't a happy one. If you knew what it felt like to have your organs ripped out, you'd describe it as listening to Kai fake his laugh and fake his happiness. He put on a brave face for the world, and perhaps that was because he knew people relied on him to step up when Lloyd couldn't.
You opened the door a little wider and let yourself in, softly closing it behind. "If something's wrong Kai, you can tell me." He sniffled quietly. "No, I'm fine." He laughed; you didn't miss the quiver in his voice. "I'm just a little tired."
"No, it's something else. I won't judge you, promise."
Kai sniffled and grabbed a tissue from his nightstand. He blew his nose with a shaky breath and tossed the tissue in the bin. For a good minute, he sat there in silence, slowing inhaling and exhaling rattling breaths. You made your way over to him and took a seat at the edge of his bed. He kept his back towards you as he sniffled some more, so you sat there, watching his shoulders quiver.
Slowly, Kai entertwined his hand with yours. He gave it a good squeeze, as if reassuring himself you were still there. You didn't want to say anything to him yet. If you did, you were sure it would break his already fragile tranquility. Thankfully, he made the first move.
"I know you wouldn't leave me," he began, "but sometimes I can't help worrying. What if we go on a mission and none of us make it back? Lloyd almost died, Cole's a ghost.... What if something happens to you? Or--or Nya and Jay or Zane?" He let out a rattling breath that spoke of all the battles you both endured. It was hard to believe you both survived every single one of them.
"Kai, we've lived this long." you said. "Why not longer? And even if one of us does die, life will go on. It always does in Ninjago, and it blooms again into something new." You squeezed his hand. "You're thinking about your parents too."
The quiet Kai stayed in was enough of an answer.
"I understand it hurts. You know, my parents died when I was very little. I don't remember how they looked like, but I remember what I felt. They made me so happy. It was short, but I found it again in you and the others. Even if something disappears, it's never truly lost." You smiled even though Kai would never see it. "Lloyd's still here because you saved him. None of us are going anywhere for as long as we can help it."
Kai's shoulders slumped. A sigh left his lips and he finally turned to face you. What strikes you the most about him isn't the puffiness under his eyes, or the bags and crinkle in his brow--it's the life that's been sucked out of his expression. His eyes were hollow, as if someone had completely wiped the emotion of happiness from existence. The deep frown tugging at his lips is even worse. It's thin, tight, and quivering.
"I-I'm sorry..."
You placed a hand on his cheek. "Kai." It's all you can muster, a name, a look of sorrow, and worry. Howw had you not seen this? How had you missed something so plainly put?
You gently pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around his warm body as the rain fell from his eyes. "You have nothing to be sorry for. If anyone should be sorry, it's me. I should be there for you, but I didn't notice. I love you though and I'm here now." you gently whispered.
"You're not alone Kai. You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. We're all here for you and no one is leaving." His cries started out soft, but with each word that left your mouth, his whimpers grew, gaining and gaining in volume until a heart-wrenching sob ripped through his throat.
Tears gathered in your eyea and you allowed yourself to cry with him. It hurt to think about losing anyone, it hurt to see your boyfriend so battered, so beaten and defeated. What cure could you offer to remedy his pain you shared?
There was no answer to that. And so you sat there, keeping your arms tight around each other as if either of you would disappear. Right now, it was sink or swim. You had to fight the ache and push forward, even if it felt like you were both drowning.
Please don't forget to reblog so this can reach more people! Thank you all for reading!
162 notes · View notes
bbugyu · 3 years
Text
how jeonghan knew
a journey with yoon jeonghan, lee seokmin, and you.
Tumblr media
there was always something about his infectious laugh and his genuine nature that felt like fate to jeonghan, and maybe you were the muse that kept their red thread in tact.
prelude | part one | part two | part three | epilogue
wc.10662 (LMFAO) | fluff, smut, courtship, angsty in the beginning, polyamory, sugar daddy!jeonghan musician!seokmin escort!reader, hi cheol, hi gyu (again), hi boo, hi wonu, gay pining, jk he's pan probably, discovering sexuality, daddy kink, special guest seokmin!!!!!, threesome, lots of mlm, oral, cumpla, handjobs, choking, butt plugs, male penetration, there's a full on reader-less memberxmember sex scene idk, unprotected sex, please use condoms, jeonghan gets overwhelmed, the TEASING, jeonghan being a home improvement freak, don’t mind han jisung he’s just vibing, required listening is positions (2020) by ariana grande because it’s a perfect album
and here we have poly seokhan: the gayening!!! this is going to be the end of my scheduled updates for neverending artistry, but i’ll be posting an epilogue when i finish it - probably after i post a couple of other fics. this chapter.... is my fave......... i think u will see why lol. i went ahead and got a lil carried away with the house stuff but LISTENNNN i watch a lot of architecture videos ok LFJDSJ
thank you all so much for your continued support and incredible feedback on this series! it seriously means so much to me and i love seeing asks and messages from everyone telling me how excited they are to read more. i hope this satisfies you!!!
~
jeonghan is pretty sure he always loved seokmin. it wasn't something he would ever be able to change about himself, he figured, as he watched his friend date woman after woman in college with varying seriousness. he decidedly ignored any amount of feelings he harbored for the younger, especially after he dropped architecture as his major and he saw less of him. 
jeonghan tried to get over the destined musician (he would always be singing or fiddling with his guitar when he was meant to be helping jeonghan with a diorama) with several women, and after decisively focusing on his career for a couple years, he found success in another man. his short lived gym buddy, but lasted quite a bit longer as his boyfriend. they had connected first when jeonghan had offhandedly commented that he liked the logo on his shirt, to which the long lashed, broad shouldered man had said he had gotten it at the brand's store down the street, making jeonghan chew his cheek before he admitted that he had helped design that location. they connected the second time later that night, clumsily but intensely, and jeonghan liked his plush pouty lips and how his messy black hair felt between his fingers.
while that didn't last forever, he found varied success in other men, and he figured this was why dating women had always been so difficult for him. definitely not that he had been given small choice amongst the rotten apples that attended his college.
he was single again, and at an industry party when he reconnected with an old friend from college who happily reminisced about the fun their small group of friends had back then. he asked if jeonghan remembered seokmin, the guy that dropped the program.
"lee seokmin?" he asked, his brows knitting as he tried to react normally to the name, and mingyu hit his shoulder, laughing.
"yeah! guess what? that son of a bitch is teaching my niece piano!"
jeonghan smiled at the idea of seokmin as a piano teacher, nodding along as mingyu talked about how he had volunteered to take her to her lesson one week, only to be put face to face with a long lost friend. jeonghan laughed as mingyu imitated the face the other had made, laughing harder when he recognized it and remembered seeing it on seokmin's face in the past, then telling mingyu about how he had once pranked him by making the poor guy think that he was going to fail a project because seokmin had accidentally destroyed a diorama. it had already been graded, and he was going to take it apart to save on materials anyways, but the younger nearly cried when he thought he had wasted hours of jeonghan's time and cost him the grade by accidentally kicking it off his desk.
he asked how seokmin was doing these days, and mingyu told him he seemed well, and that he takes his niece to her lessons as often as he can spare, just to chat for a while. "i could give you his number," he said, feeling his pockets for his phone. "i'm sure he'd love to hear from you."
mingyu had been right. seokmin did love hearing from him. and he loved the way seokmin made him laugh with his ever joking tone and physical comedy antics. the way his eyebrows creased as he tried to keep a stern face but was unable to hide the smile across his lips. the way he always fought with him for the check despite jeonghan being older and notably better off.
he didn't love, however, how seokmin nodded his head after the waitress and asked him if he thought he had a shot.
maybe he was desperate, or maybe he wanted an excuse to not date seriously, or maybe he just wasn't ready to let go, but jeonghan continued to invite seokmin out, despite the fact that their relationship would never develop past friends who met in college. he enjoyed his company anyways, even if it felt bittersweet.
he poured himself into his work for several months, taking more contracts than usual and keeping himself occupied, only really seeing others for meetings and constructions, or when he was depressed on a friday night and caved, asking seokmin to join him for drinks somewhere. he continued this cycle for too long, his personal assistant noticing his mood changes before most.
"are you taking your vitamins?"
"yes, seungkwan, i'm taking my vitamins," jeonghan bit back, fully aware that he wasn't asking about vitamins at all, but about his state. confirming he was still making an effort to take care of himself rather than spiraling, sat in his living room on a tuesday after being told by a doctor to rest, for god's sake as a solution to him nearly collapsing several hours earlier. seungkwan shifted on his feet, tongue running over his teeth as he stared at the architect, hands folded in front of him.
"you need to stop seeing him. it only hurts you."
jeonghan sighed, staring at the black screen of his television. "i know."
his assistant studied him. "you should come out with the team sometime," he said. "we get drinks on wednesdays, usually. come tomorrow, it could take your mind off things."
jeonghan looked up at seungkwan, who was clearly sucking on his cheek. he knew he was right. more importantly, seungkwan knew he knew, but jeonghan had a hard time wanting to take his mind off this one specific thing, considering the way this one specific thing laughed like a hyena, poured himself over a piano like an ocean wave, and sang along like an angel. his head fell back on the couch, and he had to take a long, conscious breath to lower the ringing in his ears at the silence. "i'll be there next time."
seungkwan exhaled in defeat, eyes flickering around as he excused himself and said goodnight, knowing his boss was lying.
jeonghan found you on accident - put in an uncomfortable corner by an ultimatum from his publicist and the circulating rumor that he sleeps with men because he can't keep a woman around that seemed to pile on top of everything else on his plate - and the second you opened your mouth, he knew you were special.
he remembered the profile he had seen from your broker, and knew you were attending university. he asked you your major, and when you told him you wanted to produce music for a living, something deep in him stirred. you had been sitting in his car for all of twenty minutes, and you nearly had him under your spell already.
he couldn't understand his fascination with you, but he continued to book you for dates, sometimes deciding what event he would be attending by asking what day you were available that week. he figured if he needed to prove to the world that he wasn't gay (which he was, he was pretty sure), you were the only one he was interested in doing it with.
maybe he had a thing for musicians.
he had taken out quite a few escorts before you, but none of them were nearly as fun. you always did an incredible job engaging in whatever event he brought you to, but also hit his chest as you tried to stifle a laugh at something he muttered into your ear, guiding you away. his friends liked you, too, the few he had. the ones that had met you. yongsun had even tugged him aside briefly, asking if he really liked you. you seemed nice, she had said. and good, in general, but also for him. she wanted to make sure he wasn't just leading you along to quiet some stupid rumor. he glanced at you, smiling wide as you excitedly discussed music with one of his other friends (the fifth and last person he liked at this event, the two of you included), and wasn't quite sure why he told her he actually liked you, but didn't feel the need to correct himself.
then you told him you were quitting, and he realized what he would be losing. then you kissed him, and he realized what he had been feeling. then you looked at him with wide eyes, just as shocked as he was by the explosion of fireworks you had both just experienced, and he realized what he had been missing out on all this time.
he figured he must have always loved you as his eyes scanned the hotel bar, confused at how you had managed to get away so quickly. he was running into the hall to see if you had escaped to the lobby when someone caught his arm.
"hey, you seen yongsun?"
jeonghan blinked at his blonde friend, recognizing her play. "have you seen y/n?"
"try the bathroom," she said, throwing a thumb over her shoulder in the direction she had come from.
he looked down the hall at the restroom signs, nodding. "i saw her at the chocolate fountain a minute ago."
byulyi patted his shoulder as she walked past him. "good luck, yoon."
it felt good telling you the truth, while sitting in your well organized and tastefully decorated studio apartment that you had insisted he would hate, even if he was too scared to admit all of it. why he had needed you before, but wanted you now. his heart nearly beat out of his chest when you agreed to his conditions, though he recognized that he had given you just about every advantage in the deal. it would have been near impossible for you to say no, especially after the way you had kissed him before someone had finally tried to enter the bathroom you were hiding in.
for a while, he only kissed you as a farewell, mostly because he enjoyed the old school romanticism of kissing a beautiful woman in the moonlight, her back against the passenger door of his black vehicle parked on the street outside her studio apartment. then, when he had invited you to his home after the two of you had ditched a boring dinner several hours early, you had curled up in his side to watch a movie. at some point, he caught you staring at him, and you put a hand on his cheek and kissed him sweetly. slowly. kissed him in a way that only made him crave more. you smiled, settling back into his side for the rest of the movie, and even though you had done it unconsciously, the back of your hand rested against his thigh in a way he had a hard time ignoring, and he decided he must have just had real shit taste in women before he had met you. 
the following sunday, when you mentioned how pitch black the sky seemed at that late hour, having gotten caught up binging some drama, he not-so-vaguely hinted that he'd be okay with you spending the night in his bed. you eyed him, and he shrugged playfully.
"or i have guest rooms. up to you."
"i have class tomorrow," you tested.
"i can take you," he responded. "if you want."
you paused, watching him as he recorked the wine bottle the two of you had opened earlier in the evening but only managed to have one glass of each before abandoning it to cuddle on the couch. he was always so thoughtful, even in his teasing. he cared about your comfort. he wanted to maintain your boundaries. but it had been a really long time since you had gotten laid, and everything in you yearned to say yes. jeonghan's voice in your head reminded you, no expectations. this could be whatever you wanted out of it.
so you went to bed with him.
jeonghan would swear up and down that you were the most beautiful woman in the world, and his beliefs were only confirmed when he pulled your shirt off of you, dragging your pants down your legs, and got a real look at you for the first time. you felt unexplainably embarrassed under his gaze, asking if he was okay.
"yeah," he said breathlessly, a hand running up your side, your back arching slightly to his touch. he curled over you before he whispered "god, yeah, i'm more than okay," against your lips.
not even ten minutes had passed before you told him you loved him between your panting, and he was so ecstatic when he could tell you, wholly and truthfully, that he loved you, too. and after your pulses had died down and you were falling asleep in his arms, he said that if you were staying under his roof, you were not allowed in any guest rooms. that if you needed space, he would find a different bed to sleep in, because this one looked best with you in it, and he refused to have it any other way.
jeonghan never got bored with you. over time, you began going to his place after events and dinners more than he dropped you off at your apartment, becoming an often enough occurrence that he had asked you one night to fill an online shopping cart with clothes for you to keep in his closet, so you could stop this silly packing bags nonsense. he had already bought you a full set of toiletries for his bathroom, started keeping your favorite snacks in the pantry, and even gone as far as to buy you the house slippers you had offhandedly said were cute when the two of you wandered aimlessly around a mall together. you were becoming a part of his home in more ways than one, and he was happy to have you.
he offered you an unused office on the second floor when you started studying for finals on the peninsula of his kitchen counter one monday afternoon, and you asked what was wrong with you doing it where you were.
"because you're not going to clean it up," he pointed out.
"maybe if we had a rewards system," you argued. "if i clean up, i get a prize."
he laughed, rounding the small jut of countertop, thinking about how he would probably need a proper kitchen island if you were going to be sticking around. "just because i give you an allowance, doesn't mean you're a child. you're not supposed to focus on the baby part of sugar baby."
you pouted as you turned on the stool to face him, a hand gently tugging his tie to pull him into you. "what if i focus on the daddy part of sugar daddy?"
a hunger dropped in jeonghan, gazing down at you as you sat at his kitchen counter, surrounded by textbooks and notes. your eyes sparkled under the lights, and his fingers went behind your neck before he kissed you, muttering against your lips to try calling him that again, angel.
the kitchen remodel had gone about as smoothly as it could have, given the fact that it was nearly impossible to transport such a large slab of granite for his dream island without it snapping in half from its own weight, but they managed, and when the light fixture finally turned on for the first time after the new cabinet doors had been installed, he felt justified in remodeling a kitchen that had hardly needed updating. he felt even more justified when he came downstairs to find you, having woken up in an empty bed, only to have you yell at him as you flipped pancakes on the griddle of his new gas range, saying you were going to bring him breakfast in bed and if he didn't cooperate, he wouldn't see you for a week. he laughed at your threatening spatula, putting his hands up in surrender, unable to stop smiling as he made his way back up the stairs.
you had enrolled in online courses for your last year of school, mostly so you didn't have to be anywhere specific for several hours every day, and instead could keep your schedule massively open to cater to jeonghan's needs. this also meant you usually attended your afternoon lectures at his home, waiting for him to get off work and distract you.
then the two of you started attended wednesday drinks with the team. seungkwan had thanked you, though you hadn't realized that you were deserving of a thanks.
"he'll tell you when he wants to, i guess," he said, twirling the beer in his hand. "but he wasn't in a great place before he met you."
you could hear the subject of your exchange laughing further down the bar, and you wondered what kind of place he meant, but tapped your glass against seungkwan's instead of asking the question. "to better places."
he chuckled, bringing the beer to his lips. "cheers to that."
jeonghan enjoyed having you on his lap on the couch, listening to whatever r&b record you had chosen as you worked your lips against his. he nudged several kisses down your neck, and you mentioned offhandedly that there was a perfect place in his living room for a bar, pointing at the wall behind him. he pulled away from you, turning his body with an arm over the back of the sofa, and his head cocked as he stared at the wall that only held a painting. he silently agreed with you, wondering why you seemed to inspire all his recent projects as you nipped at his neck, drawing his attention back to you with a smile on his face.
the bar was finished in time to hire a bartender for a halloween party. he hadn't told the guests that it was an anniversary party, but you had been made aware of the secret arrangement during a conversation the two of you had over a private meal in your favorite restaurant the week before. 
"a threesome," you asked, hoping for clarification. 
"with a guy, preferably," jeonghan said. "but i could be convinced to approve of a girl if that's what you would like."
"you're being serious?" you seemed to find yourself asking him that a lot. every time he suggested something that he knew you wanted, you wondered if he was pulling your leg. "and you want me to choose?"
"yeah, at the party," he said, watching you shake your head incredulously with a smile on his face. the two of you had discussed the possibility in the past, and he thought it made a fun gift. an unexpected one, from someone who had enough money to comfortably gift you just about anything. "i have to approve, obviously, but you get to pick the candidates."
you thought a moment. "what if we can't agree on anyone?"
"then i take you to bed alone and we have fun anyways." 
he laughed when you squinted at him.
"if the opportunity comes up down the line, we can try again later," he said. "but i thought this would give you something fun to do while i'm hosting guests."
and it had, as you sneakily scoped out the guests, flitting around the party of both familiar and unfamiliar faces in your angelic cheerleading costume. visiting and laughing heartily with the team, as well as your uni friends that jeonghan insisted you invite, offering them more drinks, then saying something about having to play hostess so you could continue your search. byulyi and yongsun were there, and you complimented their matching rapunzel and flynn get up, jeonghan catching you for just a second to ask if you needed anything.
you settled in on one target perhaps too quickly, without even really having made an effort to see all the options. you had been struck by the same sharp cheekbones, puppy dog eyes, and crooked smile that jeonghan had once fallen for. when he saw you tucked into lee seokmin's side, recognizing your flirting even from a distance and noticing how receptive the musician was to it, his heart fluttered, and he couldn't tell if it was a good or bad thing.
a good thing, he decided, when seokmin had asked him permission before he came in you. because, seemingly, sexuality was much more of a spectrum than jeonghan had once thought, and perhaps his college crush just needed the encouragement of an incredible woman to try something a little beyond his experience, much like he had.
and when you wouldn't stop mentioning the musician the two of you had enjoyed the company of while schmoozing guests at the opening of him and his friend's collaborative art exhibit, he got a slick idea. on the way home, he told you that you weren't allowed to make a noise until he hung up the phone, but you were already writhing in the passenger seat just as the phone rang.
and when he answered, you clamped a hand over your mouth, a bare foot landing on the dashboard as you tried to grind against jeonghan's hand, his voice steady as he talked to the younger.
and when he mentioned you, your walls pulsed around his fingers, a smile finding its way into his lips as he spoke. he tried not to take too much pleasure in the way you looked at him with begging eyes and your fist between your teeth, or in the way seokmin's tone dropped as he confirmed that he would get a cab, but he truly couldn't help himself when he made eye contact with seokmin as you sucked him off, his hips canting into yours recklessly, forcing seokmin to break the contact as he reacted to your moan on his cock. 
he noticed the way seokmin's hips began to move on their own, begging for enough control to chase his nearing high in your mouth but having it brought right to his doorstep instead. jeonghan felt your perfect heat cling to him in reaction, and before he could think to stop himself, he pulled you into his chest by your throat, not daring to let you claim it all as he lapped cum from your mouth. you whimpered against him, your orgasm lasting impossibly long as he fucked into you, getting milked by your needy walls.
when he caught seokmin staring directly at him, he grinned and wiped the back of his hand across his chin and lower lip, languidly licking any escaped cum off it, and asked if he wanted to try his, too.
seokmin agreed, nodding shakily before jeonghan massaged at your sides, pumping himself into you a few more times. he told you to give seokmin's mouth a ride. you groaned, his cum dripping down your thighs.
jeonghan watched the younger's cock twitch as you moaned over him, one hand on the wall and the other on his scalp, his fingers digging into your thighs. he stared at how it never lost hardness. he didn't even realize that his hands were on seokmin's hip and thigh before he even asked if he could touch him, but a large hand left your thigh to shakily bring jeonghan's to his thick cock, answering the question despite you occupying his mouth, his fingers lingering over jeonghan's as he pumped his length.
he couldn't deny that how badly he wanted to fuck seokmin, but he could settle for making him cum in his hands until he was ready for something more, especially with the surprising amount he had to give after already having cum once. he let himself indulge in a single lick across seokmin's sensitive slit - though it was hard to stop there - triggering a garbled moan before he left to shower.
a week or so later, jeonghan asked you if you were interested in dating seokmin. you put your phone down and rolled over in bed, propped up on your elbows as you asked him what he meant.
"i love you," jeonghan assured, pulling you to lay closer to him. "and i can tell you like him."
you studied his face. "but i'm with you."
"that doesn't have to stop," he said, smiling at you as he tucked a hand behind his head. you eyed his arm briefly, then refocused on him. "but you know how things get in the winter, and i would be okay with you trying things out with him while i'm busy."
"you're being serious?"
jeonghan laughed at the familiar question. "yes, y/n, i'm being serious. i know you want me, but i also know you want more than me."
you had never told anyone about your desire for multiple partners, not even admitted it out loud to yourself, so his candid assessment caught you off guard. "how did you-"
"just little things you've said," he teased, leaving you to question how much you had revealed about yourself without realizing. "besides, no one can deny the chemistry."
you paused. "boundaries?"
"just tell me," he said, putting his arms around you and tugging you into him. "i just want to know when you're seeing him. and, eventually, i would like to be invited every once in a while."
"invited to dates?" you asked, throwing a leg over his lap to straddle it as you laid over him. "or invited to bed?"
he smiled up at you, hands running over your rear. "either. both. whatever you two want."
you agreed, but only after you made him promise he would tell you if anything changed for him. that he had to tell you about every doubt and worry he had. "i'll always choose you," you stated plainly, lips brushing against his as he gently rolled his growing length up against your clothed heat. "no matter what, i'll choose you."
"i know, sweetheart," he said, a hand on your cheek as he kissed you. "i promise."
after he came back from a business trip in december, you admitted to him that you and seokmin had exchanged i love yous, and he just put an arm over your shoulder and turned down the volume on the tv, telling you that he was pretty sure he loved seokmin, too.
"it was him, wasn't it?" you asked, studying his profile. "he was the guy you couldn't get over?"
jeonghan rubbed his face with one hand, sighing. "yeah, it was him."
"why didn't you say anything?"
he thought a moment. "i didn't want you to feel obligated, i guess."
your fingers straightened the seams of his long sleeved shirt across his shoulder. "obligated to win him over for you?"
"obligated to love him, too."
"jokes on you," you giggled. "he's very easy to fall in love with."
jeonghan supposed that was true, thinking of how quickly he had fallen for him, even back before he had admitted he liked men. how he had fallen into the same spot even years later, just over a shared meal and a few bottles of soju.
but you were easy to fall in love with too, he thought, remembering how he hadn't even understood his feelings towards you until you had kissed him, but he had felt them strong enough to want you to stay by his side anyways. maybe jeonghan just fell easily, but maybe he was lucky enough to have found his people at such a young age.
you settled back into the crook of his arm and asked him what he thought about seokmin coming over to join you two for christmas. while much of the world celebrated with family, it was more of a hallmark holiday in korea, often times spent with a long time sweetheart or a budding romance. or both, in your case, jeonghan supposed, when you were distracted trying to find the third christmas music lp you had specifically gotten for the occasion (out of eight, of course, because you didn't want to run out of christmas music). he was leaning against the tasteful home bar that had been hardly touched since halloween when seokmin shyly admitted that he knew jeonghan was interested in him.
he said nothing for a moment. "she told you?"
"kind of, back when you were in japan, but-" seokmin paused. "i think she was just suspicious, but i should have known. you were always too kind to me."
"not too kind," jeonghan said, hiding behind his wine as he sipped at it, trying not to show his embarrassment.
"i think i'm interested, too."
he looked at seokmin, who was staring down at his hands. "are you sure?"
"i'm-" he paused, catching jeonghan's eyes for only a second before scratching the back of his neck. "i think so. i've never even thought about doing anything with - uh - men. until you."
"that's okay," jeonghan said, looking to where you were flipping through records. "i didn't like women until y/n."
seokmin faltered. "wait, really?"
he nodded, a small smile on his face. "i thought i was gay. turns out i'm not."
"but you-" the musician stretched his jaw. "weren't you kind of a player in college?"
he almost said something about how having sex to meet an end and keep an appearance was different than enjoying it, but stopped himself when you announced that you had found the lost record, switching the lps with a flourish and setting the player again. and while he was curious about the level of seokmin's interest in him, he was happy to leave the conversation where it stood when you excitedly rejoined them at the bar.
"do you think i could be a bartender?" you asked, leaning over the counter and grabbing an unused shaker.
"probably," seokmin said.
"for sure no," jeonghan laughed.
you pouted at the latter, holding the shaker between your hands as you directed your attention to the former. "thank you, seokmin. i appreciate you encouraging my dreams."
"any time," he joked.
jeonghan rolled his eyes. "what about that music degree i'm paying for?" he asked, taking another sip.
"just because you've known what you wanted to do forever, doesn't mean everyone does. maybe i'll change my mind." you tried to spin the shaker in your hand, but the force you used was too little and it stopped on your palm too quickly, clumsily clattering to the counter. you stilled it, exhaling sharply when jeonghan giggled beside you, looking to seokmin. "he might be right."
"it's almost like i know you," jeonghan teased, nudging you. "she was convinced she could become my personal bartender for all of two weeks."
"i tried," you whined. seokmin laughed. "the tricks are harder than they look."
"and you hated shaking drinks."
you put the shaker back, defeated. "the ice made it cold."
"isn't that the point?" seokmin asked.
jeonghan smiled at you. "you're lucky i like wine."
"i'm gonna talk to you now," you announced, turning your body to seokmin. "because you're nicer to me than he is."
"aw," the architect chuckled, and seokmin watched you react to a squeeze at your butt. "did he make you soft? can't take my teasing anymore?"
you ignored him, trying to ask the man in front of you about his lessons, but you yelped when his hand firmly landed on your ass, grabbing seokmin's arm in reaction. he looked at you, seemingly just as shocked, and you tried to continue the conversation, but jeonghan's hand didn't leave, and your entire body was reacting to the way it was slowly hiking up your skirt and running between your thighs.
your eyes fell shut, and you muttered for him to cut it out as your grip on seokmin's arm tightened, but jeonghan just made eye contact with the other male, asking him instead if he should.
without thinking, seokmin shook his head and put his hands on your jaw, pulling you in to kiss him. your moan against his lips was involuntary, and jeonghan grinned as his fingers ran over your core, making you whine.
"did you tell him?" you gasped out, asking seokmin with hooded eyes. he shook his head, saying that he hadn't told him everything.
"told me what?" jeonghan asked, interest piqued as he put down his glass, pulling his hand out from your skirt and placing them on your hips instead, squeezing gently as he stood behind you, and your head fell back into his shoulder without much intention as you licked your lips. "seokmin?"
he pulled his gaze, trained on your mouth, to look at jeonghan, and he felt his breath stop in his throat as he fully processed the sight in front of him. you gasped again, as jeonghan's hand came up to knead at your breast, and you tried to pull seokmin closer, but he didn't stop moving even when he was pressed against you.
jeonghan thought he might faint. he wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but when seokmin's hand found the back of his neck and pulled him over your shoulder, his mind went blank. when his lips found his, his vision went white. when he felt his tongue against the inside of his teeth, he couldn't help but moan, one hand gripping your waist and the other aimlessly tugging on seokmin's shirt, seemingly just to hold something that belonged to him.
"fuck, okay," jeonghan breathed, staring after the musicians lips even when they left. you giggled, recognizing the feeling. "okay," he repeated. "got it. understood."
you spun around, hands on jeonghan's chest. "we prepared something for you," you said, and seokmin's cheeks and ears were bright red when he sheepishly nodded with you.
jeonghan looked between the two of you, swallowing suddenly. "what?"
you tugged on his hand, then grabbed seokmin's, too, when he didn't move right away, leading them both to walk around the couch. you pulled jeonghan onto the cushions with you, kissing him briefly before he realized someone was between his knees. when he saw him, that was when jeonghan's dick woke up, suddenly realizing what was happening.
"be nice," you muttered against the shell of his ear, your hand running down his torso. "it's his first time."
seokmin's hands were strong but gentle, and despite never having touched a dick that wasn't attached to him, he knew what felt good. he needed a bit of guidance from you to begin, less from lack of knowing the process and more because he was nervous, but quickly found a comfortable rhythm. jeonghan sighed when he finally got pulled out of his pants, and you were sucking a mark into his neck, his arm wrapped around you and his hand kneading at your rear. his eyes could hardly stay open when seokmin ran his flattened tongue up the underside of his cock.
"isn't he pretty?" you asked, whispering, a smile on your lips. 
he groaned, threading his fingers behind seokmin's ear, desperately trying to hold back his release because he hasn't even put you in his mouth, yet, jeonghan, for god's sake, keep it together. the younger's eyes flickered up to his, and he nearly came just from the feeling of his soft lips around his member, sinking slowly.
"fuck, you're too good at this," jeonghan said, the half chuckle on his lips falling quickly when seokmin's tongue ran over a vein, the warmth of his mouth feeling like heaven. his teeth bit down on his lower lip, watching your hand run through seokmin's hair. he hummed at the contact, his grip tightening slightly, sending a jolt through jeonghan's system. "fuck, i'm gonna cum already."
"there were lessons," you giggled, your hands wrapping casually around his neck. his breathing hitched, eyes falling shut, focusing on the mouth sheathing his cock as he recognized your fidgeting fingers over his pulse. "merry christmas, daddy."
he inhaled sharply right before you squeezed at his throat, and he thought that he should maybe let you lead more often if it was going to feel this good. seokmin seemed surprised by the feeling of jeonghan cumming in his mouth, but he did his best to pump every drop from him, swallowing thickly. you only smiled when jeonghan sat up, leaving you behind as he pulled seokmin's face to his, his hands running up jeonghan's thighs as he kissed him.
jeonghan decided the sunroom extension was all wrong, and that he'd have to redo it.
"you just built that," wonwoo said, having been the contractor that oversaw the construction. "besides, it's snowy season, we can't do outdoor construction. you'll have to wait til spring."
"not outdoor," jeonghan said, rolling out the drafting papers he had drawn up over the course of his new year break, the final pieces being completed in the wee hours of that morning. he had sent wonwoo a text as soon as he thought he would be awake, asking for a meeting despite it only being two days after the new year. "the shell can stay the same, we just need to build indoors. besides, i need this done in february."
wonwoo blinked at him. "when in february?"
"it has to be fully furnished by the 18th."
the contractor laughed at the deadline, only a month and a half out, as he looked over jeonghan's drafts. it would be a tight schedule, considering the structural changes he wanted, but he recognized his long time work partner's determination and knew there was little he could do to argue. "okay. let's get to work."
he turned down a contract for a café to make time for the new home project, but not before recommending they contact a kim mingyu, giving him the vaguest thank you for introducing seokmin back into his life. he didn't have time to draw several attempted variations of every café he had ever designed, he was too busy mapping out the logistics of adding a lofted space to the two story sunroom. too busy planning to tear out the outer wall of your office and picking the right sliding glass doors that would lead to the loft. you had to ask him several days in a row before he finally told you what he had planned.
"a music room?"
he tried to gauge your reaction. "is it crazy?"
you broke out into a smile, studying his design, gripping the mug that held your latté that morning. "absolutely, but i love it."
he asked you to help him pick instruments, saying his wishlist included a white grand piano and three to five guitars that could be displayed together. he also told you to pick out your dream computer setup for production - you were graduating that year, afterall, and it was about time you started using something other than your laptop and a midi controller to make music - and you almost started crying from how fucking excited that made you.
hiding the plans from seokmin was the hardest part, especially when he started spending weekends at the house. he saw the construction area often, and one friday afternoon, he had even asked if he could help, leaving you to usher him away and assure him that jeonghan didn't like help when it came to these things. he believed the white lie, allowing you to distract him with the option of watching shit television in bed, even convincing him that tonight was the night to surprise his new boyfriend. seokmin laid in bed with his arms wrapped around you, trying not to move too much, fully aware that even the slightest movements in his body caused his dick to come to life, until the last of the workers left and jeonghan appeared, asking if there were dinner requests before he went to take a shower.
seokmin had been training with you for over a week. you had bought him some toys, even helped him try them out in the comfort of his loft, and he got increasingly excited - generally, but also in those moments - to show jeonghan what he had learned. the surprise he had been keeping had already made him beg you to cockwarm him as he waited, but you refused on account of knowing him, and by extension, knowing that he would not being able to stop himself. he had a bit more confidence, though it may have only been fueled by horniness, when he pulled the vaguely sweaty architect toward him on the bed. he tried to say something about how he should really wash up, but seokmin just kissed him, hands gripping around his skull in desperation, his dick already hard against jeonghan's pelvis.
jeonghan's hands wandered, as they usually did, and when he reached down to palm at seokmin's ass, he reacted in a way that earned him a questioning glance.
"we - ah-" his eyes shut, jeonghan's hands getting closer to his surprise. "she's been helping me-"
and that was when he felt it. the small, hard handle of a plug, situated between seokmin's perky asscheeks, easy to feel through the loose fabric of his shorts, and jeonghan felt his arousal tenting his pants just from the concept.
jeonghan hadn't even noticed your movement off the bed until a bottle of lube hit his leg, looking down at it briefly before looking to you.
"i'm gonna go clean up," you said, running a hand through your hair as you retreated to the bathroom, leaving jeonghan with an already flustered seokmin. 
before long, he had him on his back, naked, and finally got to see how sweet his little ass looked when jeonghan pushed his knees towards his chest. when he saw the black knob fitting tightly into his hole, he groaned, his own bare cock flinching in need. he put a hand on seokmin's dick, gripping it lightly, then put a thumb against the plug.
"nngh- fuck," seokmin stammered, fingers gripping at the bedsheets as his neck stretched out against the pillows, bucking into the hand wrapped around him. "j-jeonghan…"
"this is cute," he said, slowly moving his thumb in a circular motion, the plug's movement making seokmin let out choked moans. "but i really need to play with you now."
seokmin nodded, hurriedly, brows knit together. "please."
he hooked his fingers under the knob of the plug, slowly pulling it out and relishing in the reaction. the younger's back arched in a way that jeonghan wished he could see from every angle, knowing that the way his shoulders and back looked must have been incredible, but satisfied by just watching the way his mouth hung open and his eyes clamped shut, his fingers gripping at jeonghan's hand where it stayed on his dick.
he began to pump the dick in his palm, setting aside the plug and grabbing the lube, popping it open with just his left hand and quickly squirting a healthy amount onto the tip of seokmin's penis, making quick work of spreading it completely over the engorged member, the slickness making him moan even louder and reach out for jeonghan's shoulders.
he let seokmin tug him over him, kissing him briefly before looking down at where the younger's thighs spread over his, wanting nothing more than to just fuck him already.
jeonghan's hand left seokmin's cock, leaving him whining against his lips, but it was short lived as his lubed fingers slid down to his puckered hole.
"seokmin," he muttered, studying his face. "you're sure, right?"
"fuck, i've been wanting this for since christmas, jeonghan," he sputtered out, eyes barely able to focus when there were fingers teasing his entrance. "yes, please, i'm sure."
jeonghan slid a digit into the tight hole, watching seokmin's face as his brows creased and his head fell back, a moan tumbling from his lips. another finger, jeonghan decided, and the reaction was similar, making him smirk.
"god, you're ready, aren't you?"
"please," he begged. "i want you."
jeonghan sat back, and the musician got on his elbows to watch as he readied his cock with lube, putting more on his finger and spreading it around seokmin's hole. he whined when jeonghan placed the head of his dick at his entrance, tugging him over him again.
"i'll go slow, okay?" jeonghan assured him. "tell me if i need to stop."
seokmin just nodded, eyes trained on his, and they locked lips as jeonghan pushed his hips forward slowly, the man under him immediately moaning and huffing against his mouth.
jeonghan really liked sex with seokmin. he also really liked sex with you. but he was pretty sure he liked it the most when you were both present.
seokmin didn't walk right for a day and a half, and while he was slightly embarrassed, you told him it was a badge of honor he should wear proudly. afterall, he had done the same to you on halloween. 
"how's your butt?" you asked when he came down the stairs, the sunday morning after they had done the deed without you, making him choke out a laugh as you got his tea out of a cabinet in jeonghan's kitchen.
"better than yesterday," he said, gingerly seating himself at a stool. "but not as good as friday."
you eyed him. "before or during?"
seokmin thought a second. "both."
"good morning," jeonghan said, quickly planting kisses on the man and then you, cheek and lips respectively based on the convenience as he walked past you, making his way to the espresso machine. "i think i'm gonna work on the sunroom today."
"today?" you asked. "wonwoo's gonna say no."
"wonwoo isn't getting invited. i still have to find furniture," he said, rinsing out the espresso shot glass and wiping down the portafilter. "we're getting close to deadline, i need boo to order the upholstery job on tuesday and i have a meeting tomorrow."
"when's deadline?" seokmin asked, wondering why he had one for a home project.
jeonghan blinked at the wall, not even turning towards the younger. "don't worry your pretty head about it."
you pouted, closing the short distance and wrapping your arms around him, your chin on his shoulder. "it's sunday. can't we cuddled puddle?"
"you mean like we do every night?" jeonghan asked, but grinding espresso beans so you couldn't answer the rhetorical question, packing down the grounds. "if you want to cuddle puddle, don't get out of bed so early."
you huffed as you dropped your arms, leaving him to prep a glass for his americano. "whatever. seokmin and i will have fun without you."
"what kind of fun?"
you stick your tongue out at him, using a teasing voice when you said "wouldn't you like to know."
innocent fun, was the truth, but you thought it was a victimless bluff. you spent the morning sitting on the couch with seokmin while a record played, discussing everything from your favorite movies to your weirdest dreams. you had to get up every six songs or so to flip or change the record, but seokmin liked that every time you rejoined him on the couch, you got closer to his side until you were eventually snuggling into his side, arms wrapped around his torso.
the innocence stopped when jeonghan emerged from his study, joining the two of you for a break. he planted himself on the other side of seokmin, under his arm, letting his hand not-so-subtly run over his thigh. you noticed the contact, peeking around to jeonghan.
"what kind of break are you looking for, hannie?"
he adjusted. "an inspiring one."
you giggled, recognizing the euphemism he used whenever he was stuck on something for work as you leaned back again. "that means he's horny."
seokmin sputtered out a laugh, jeonghan chuckling at your direct observation. "it's hard to not think about you two sitting out here, having fun without me."
"you may not believe it," seokmin said. "but i don't think sex was even on the table for us two today."
jeonghan's eyes met his, and he swallowed harshly. "can it be on the table for all three of us?"
the comfort of returning to bed was hard to deny, especially when they had you laid out against seokmin's chest as he was pressed against the headboard, his mouth attached to your neck and his fingers twisting a nipple, all while jeonghan was digging his digits further into you with his tongue flicking against your clit. 
seokmin grunted, rutting his hips against your back. "fuck, he looks good there."
you gasped, nodding, biting at your lip as he kneaded your breast, your fingers digging into jeonghan's hair. "you both do."
jeonghan never struggled to pull you apart, his deft fingers and teasing lips making you squirm and moan until you were shaking, mouth hanging open as your vision blurred and he told you you tasted like candy.
"minnie," jeonghan prompted, making the younger sit up with you whining against him to clean your taste off his fingers. his dick throbbed in need, watching the singer's agile tongue against him, wishing it wasn't just on his fingers.
seokmin had to practically beg jeonghan to fuck him again, but his only hesitation was that he may not have recovered yet. seokmin  was on his back and gripped at jeonghan's thighs, urging him forward as your hand twisted around his thick, throbbing cock.
jeonghan swallowed, pausing despite being covered in lube and in position. "you're sure?"
"yes," seokmin said, gasping at your hand on him. "jeonghan, i appreciate you asking, but i'm always sure when it comes to you."
you weren't sure you had ever seen jeonghan blush like that in bed, and you smiled against seokmin's neck as he groaned, his cock firming in your grasp as the older pushed into him. you admired seokmin's silent scream, his head lolling to one side at the feeling.
"angel," jeonghan sighed, settling into the way seokmin squeezed around him. "what do you wanna do?"
you teased a thumb over seokmin's slit. "i wanna ride."
"f-fuuck-" seokmin panted, his hips resting against jeonghan's spread thighs as his knees hung to either side. "i'm not- nngh- gonna last."
"you don't have to," you said matter of factly, adjusting to straddle his torso. jeonghan winced, watching your form as he pumped into seokmin. "we're done when daddy says so."
you put your hand, palm up, over your shoulder, and jeonghan chuckled at the recognized motion for him to spit on your fingers - usually, so that you could slick his dick to sit back on it. you worked jeonghan's spit over seokmin's engorged cock, then slowly lowered yourself onto him.
seokmin stared up at you, eyes fluttering and mouth open, suddenly not only feeling impossibly full, but also absolutely stuffed into you. he moaned out loud when jeonghan bumped into his spot, overwhelmed by the simultaneous pleasure. you fell forward onto his chest, holding yourself up with shaky arms as your face hovered over his, both of you trying to hold off your own demises.
then, jeonghan pushed himself deep into seokmin, who whined, his dick pushing up against your cervix. you nearly collapsed, whimpering as your forehead fell to his, gasping into a desperate kiss. jeonghan groaned, his hand running over your hip as he looked at the intersection of you all, staring at the way you barely contained all of seokmin before he leaned forward and kissed your spine.
"you two will kill me," he said, one hand holding you firmly at your waist while the other gripped seokmin's thigh as he picked up his pace. you both moaned, fingernails digging into the plushest part of your thigh when seokmin questioned how much longer he could hold out at jeonghan's unrelenting pace.
a long, high pitched whine fell from his lips. "fuck, i need to cum," he rushed out, bleary eyes barely opening as he looked at you.
"hang on, baby," jeonghan said. "ladies first."
you babbled against seokmin's lips, somehow never being able to get used to the way he filled you, though jeonghan pushing him into you didn't help. you could do nothing but repeat curses in increasing pitch, pushing your face into seokmin's neck as your walls clamped down around him. his mouth gaped, desperately trying to not succumb to your plush insides before he got the okay.
jeonghan smiled at how seokmin tried to focus on him, despite his hands gripping you as you shook against him. "go ahead, baby."
so seokmin went. and god, he went, coating you internally, immediately squeezing out around his stuffed cock and onto his lap, making jeonghan pant as he kept his hips moving, chasing his own end. he leaned forward, chest pressing against your back as he fucked into seokmin, not stopping until his eyes were clamped shut and he was painting his walls white.
there was a long period of time where none of you moved, then another after you had all managed to untangle from each other. jeonghan sat back, leaning against a hand and scratching his brow as he breathed heavily.
"bathtub cuddle puddle?"
you laughed, chest heaving as you looked over to him, but it was seokmin who spoke. "that sounds nice."
he started to get suspicious when his birthday got closer.
jeonghan told you to suggest a dinner outing for that night to divert attention, but he had caught you moving one of the guitars for the music room only a few days before his birthday, and he looked at you with squinted eyes when he asked if it was for him and you hurriedly said no, hiding the guitar behind your back despite him clearly being able to see it. 
"i panicked," you told jeonghan, eyes wide. "he saw it in me. he could tell it wasn't just the guitar."
"it'll be fine, y/n," he said, pushing around potted plants until they satisfied him. "he has to think it's weird that we haven't let him see this room yet, anyways."
you chewed your cheek, looking around the almost completed sunroom. the tall windows showed the light snowflakes falling from the sky, not quite thick enough to leave a layer but enough to make the enclosed yard look slightly pastel. despite the open space that looked out into the cold seoul winter, it stayed cozy, heat radiating from the floorboards and the faux fur rugs laid across them. the space near the entrance had a raised floor with a grand piano, along with several guitars hanging upon the wall, while the area partially covered by the balcony had two heavily cushioned, dark heather gray couches and a bright armchair, adorned with pillows and cable knit blankets.
jeonghan had a slight obsessive nature when it came to his home projects. he was meticulous with contracts, too, but he truly wanted this house to be perfect - not just for him, but for the people he loved. so you watched him rearrange pillows about four more times before you ran up the stairs to the loft to see if he had changed anything there since you had looked the day before.
it almost felt as though it was outdoors, with plants hanging off the edge of the railing and the rustic desk he had originally picked for your office placed to one side. you imagined doing schoolwork here, fantasizing slightly about watching seokmin play piano from your vantage point as you wrote essays. you slid open the glass doors to peek into your new office.
he had painted the walls white, taking a hint from the styling in your own apartment when he picked out a neutral toned couch and light wood shelving, your early graduation present of a computer set up spread across an L shaped desk. he had even paid to have your upright piano moved here, and cut into the next room over to give you more space for an electric drumset. you couldn't help but smile, imagining your friends coming over to record stuff with you. you had always felt strange about inviting them to your rich boyfriend's house, despite him insisting they were welcome, but he had really gone through the trouble of making a room so perfect for all of them that you had no choice.
and it was brighter, you thought. you had told him you worked better in bright spaces.
despite jeonghan's promises, the music room renovation felt like it was as much a gift for you as it was for seokmin. though, maybe he couldn't help it, when the reasons he loved you both overlapped so much.
you went to seokmin's apartment the next day with a bagged gift for him, arriving again right as his client was leaving, and you smiled at the same young man you had seen the first time you had come to visit seokmin. you knew his name now, not because you had spoken to him much, but because you had been told about him by his teacher, and you congratulated him on getting a gig the upcoming weekend.
"oh," jisung said, glancing between the two of you. "he talks about me?"
you laughed and gave him a fighting, seokmin looking upwards to hide his embarrassment as he ushered his student toward the door. "have a nice week, jisung! i'll try to be there this weekend," he said, throwing you a look as you giggled. 
"it's not for guitar, you don't have to come," the younger assured. "but if you want to, bring your girlfriend!"
"yeah!" you said, putting your fists on your hips. "i'm getting you dinner for your birthday tonight, the least you can do is take me to an underground rap show!"
"okay, both of you, no more talking," seokmin said, trying and failing to prevent jisung from stopping in his tracks at the news that it was his birthday.
"woah, teach, happy birthday!" he laughed. "you weren't gonna say anything?" he kept talking even as his teacher pushed him out of his apartment.
you couldn't stop grinning when the door closed, seokmin turning to you. he pointed at you, trying to hide his smile as he could only get out a vaguely annoyed "you."
"happy birthday, baby," you said, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. he softened against you, smiling as you pulled away, his hands on your waist as he thanked you quietly.
"he asks about you a lot," seokmin said, joining you when you laughed at the fact. "i think he has a crush on you."
you rolled your eyes. "stop bragging about me, then."
"i don't brag," he said, smiling into another kiss. "i just tell the truth. i can't help that you're a dream come true."
you only pulled away from him to grab the two thick paper bags that you had set on his couch. "c'mon, we gotta head out. open your presents."
seokmin's mouth dropped open when he saw the logo on the bag. "wait, you didn't."
"i had to," you said, giggling as he grabbed one and tugged it open, moving to the couch to pull the garment out. "you said you wanted it."
"where did you find one?" he asked, staring at the corduroy parka from the brand you saw him wear constantly. "they've been sold out for weeks!"
"i got it before then, duh." you poked his cheek when he pouted at you, his eyebrows knit. "there's more, stop getting distracted."
seokmin hugged you extra tight as a thank you for his romantic crown haul, and he decisively pulled on the golden yellow shirt with the pizza on the back, making you grin at how perfectly jeonghan had predicted his thought process before you dragged him out of his apartment to go get dinner.
"we're just picking it up," you said, jangling a keychain. he gave you a quirked eyebrow, and you giggled, pulling him over to jeonghan's car. "do you wanna see it self drive?"
you pushed the side door closed with your butt and called out to jeonghan, saying the birthday boy was here. seokmin took the pizza boxes from your arms and put them on the kitchen counter as jeonghan walked around the stairs.
"well one of us has to change," jeonghan said facetiously, and seokmin looked down at the yellow shirt peeking through his half zipped parka, looking back up at jeonghan, who was wearing the same shirt.
"wait wait wait," you giggled, turning around to undo the zipper of your own jacket, pulling it open as you spun around to reveal that you, too, were wearing the shirt.
seokmin looked between you two with wide eyes, his eyebrows creasing. "you got us matching shirts?"
"pizza shirt gang!" you giggled, stripping off your jacket. "do you like them?"
he smiled into a disbelieving laugh. "how did you know i would put it on?"
"because we know you, minnie," jeonghan said, reaching for his hand after he took off his new coat. "before we eat, i finished the sunroom today, wanna see it?"
"hang on," seokmin stopped, making his hand fall from jeonghan's. "that's not the gift, right?" he looked at you. "the sunroom isn't the gift?"
you pursed your lips, looking at the ceiling, and seokmin started to argue, making jeonghan laughed. "who cares if it's for you, i just want you to come look at it."
jeonghan is pretty sure he always loved seokmin. it wasn't something he would ever be able to change about himself, he figured, as he watched his lover cover his face with his hands, sinking to crouch on the floor as his eyes looked around the large room that was lit by fairy light. the first thing he had seen was the piano, which made him gasp, then he saw the guitars, and looked at your smiling face, suddenly connecting dots, unable to stay standing from the shock as he understood why he hadn't been allowed to help.
and then he started crying.
the two of you ushered him to a couch, sitting him down as he sniffed back the tears. you sat beside him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and cooing, jeonghan crouching on the floor in front of him.
"i'm sorry," jeonghan said, smiling slightly as he gave him an apologetic look. "i didn't mean to overwhelm you."
seokmin choked on a laugh, wiping at his cheeks. "how did you think i'd react?"
"i don't think he thought about it," you whispered, knowing full well jeonghan could hear you.
"i got a little carried away," he admitted, hand rubbing comforting circles on seokmin's leg. "you're special to me, so i wanted to make something special for you."
"this," seokmin said, looking around, gesturing at his surroundings. "this?"
the older huffed out a laugh, almost embarrassed. "yeah, this."
seokmin laughed too, eyes wet as he looked into the other's. "i can't believe you would make something this incredible for me."
"you're incredible," jeonghan said. "i want you to feel welcome in my home."
"i couldn't believe the record wall, either," you offered when seokmin seemed speechless, pressing your cheek against the his shoulder, hand rubbing his back. "jeonghan's love language is a little unique."
seokmin sniffed one more time, studying jeonghan's face, his brow creasing ever so slightly. "holy shit, i'm in love with you."
your heart stopped as you pulled away slightly to look at him, then jeonghan, who was frozen.
"i didn't realize that's what this was," seokmin said, hand gripping the one on his thigh. "i knew i liked you, but this is-"
jeonghan rose quickly, seating himself at seokmin's other side and kissed him. "i love you," he said, thumbs wiping over his slightly damp cheekbones. "it's taken me years to admit it, but i love you."
seokmin kissed him again in response, his face feeling hot from the continued attention. he broke away, only to look around the room again, jeonghan studying his face with a smile as he did.
"i think," seokmin said, clearing his throat when the words came out weak. he looked to you, then to jeonghan. "i think this is the best birthday i've ever had."
jeonghan laughed. "we haven't even had the pizza yet."
299 notes · View notes
oikadori · 4 years
Text
Comforting Stressed S/O Part II
⇢  Pairings: oikawa x f!reader ; atsumu x f!reader
⇢  Genre:  fluff...idk
⇢  WC~ 1,5K 
A/N: So I made one for Akaashi but i kinda liked this situation asjfohhddlkdjk so I couldn’t  help to make it for Oikawa and Atsumu. How can someone be that obsessed with 2D characters? Thank you ♡, enjoy!
Tumblr media
Oikawa is not fond of how immersed you are on your assignments 
If you’ve spent too much time on your computer he will start pouting and whining at you. He is just a  big size bb
He loves cuddles, so he needs his cuddle sessions with you. Oikawa will try to snuggle up with you while you’re working
If you don’t let him, after many pouts, he will get tired eventually and stops distracting you.
 If you let him, he’ll talk nonstopping about his day, trying to amuse you 
Oikawa loves to spoil you, he’ll get you all sorts of treats and gifts to cheer your mood 
He is pretty smart so he is always happy to help you 
He’ll be so smug about it  that he won’t stop teasing - he’ll brag about it the whole week 
“(Y/N)-channnn!” Oikawa wines from the living room while the TV  shows the intro of Star Wars “Come on, the movie is about to start” your gaze lift from your laptop to spot your boyfriend with the cutest smile he could possibly show to you, alongside his pleading brown eyes staring at you. 
“Tooru like I told you an hour ago, I have to finish a math assessment” you sigh, trying to show yourself annoyed by him- even when all you want to do is cuddle with him- “Maybe later”
“Yeah, I know, I know but you need a break too” Oikawa looks at you with concern, he moves on the couch, making space for you  “At least come here, sit with me” he pats the new spot next to him, inviting you. “Pleaseee” you roll your eyes, giving him a little smile. 
“You are very annoying, you know?”
When he sees you walking to the couch, his eyes glimpse in amusement, “Couldn’t resist me, could you? I can’t blame you” a cocky smile adorns his lips as ypu sit nect to him.
“Shut up” Oikawa can’t help to chuckle as he lays an arm over your shoulders and kisses your cheek. Your eyes focused on the screen, you keep working as the movie start.
//
“No, no, no!... You are fucking kidding me!” your voice raises over the sound of the Tv, your eyes staring blankly at your laptop. Oikawa quickly turns to you before noticing the tears that are forming on the corner of your eyes.
“(Y/N)...What happened?” he pauses the movie and observes you expectantly, your eyes watering as your lips begin to move slowly “(Y/N)?”
“My laptop froze and the document closed itself and ... I can’t find it.”
“All of the work I made during the week...it’s gone” the stress accumulated breaks through and tears run down your cheeks, you start sobbing uncontrollably.
“Princess..., please look at me” Oikawa turns off the Tv and places one of his hands over yours while the other cups your cheek “Please don’t cry. There’s got to be a backup copy... or something” Oikawa frowns as he moves his hand to his chin, thinking.
“Can I have a look?” you nod, handling him your laptop, he places it con his lap as his arm pulls you to his chest. “Don’t worry, babe, we’ll find a solution” his reassuring voice makes your sobs to slow, he kisses the top of your head, brushes your hair soothingly. 
//
“There it is!!!” you cry out in relief. After almost an hour, Oikawa finally found it.
“Here you go. I’m the best boyfriend, aren’t I?” he takes off his glasses,  smirking  proudly
“You mean, you are slightly tolerable...” 
“Yet you’re still with me, aren’t you?” you can’t help but giggle. 
 “God, I love the way you laugh.” his features softens as he reach your hand to kiss it tenderly. “So, is there any payment for the technical assistance given to this beautiful lady?” he raises his eyebrow looking at you teasingly. 
You kiss him slowly, wrapping your arms around his neck, making a soft grumble escape from Oikawa’s lips “My hero...thank you, Tooru” you whisper and press your lips on his cheek making Oikawa blush.  
“Now, what about we get a dessert from that  store you like so much, princess?” And just like that you knew that no amount of stress would change the future but a look at those chocolate eyes was all the reassurance you need.    
Tumblr media
Atsumu genuinely doesn’t understand why you stress about school assignments
Like, he will tease you about it...until you tell him to STFU. Only then he notices how stressed you are
I think Atsumu has 0 experience in comforting people. But when it comes to you he tries his best 
Atsumu won’t be helpful as Akaashi or Oikawa - Sorry Tsumu but, I get the feeling he’s just like Hinata and Kageyama when it comes to school 
Probably will take you out, regardless of your complaints, making an improvised date. 
Any compliment coming for this guy will boost you like 1000% up, knowing how blunt he can be with others 
Like Oikawa, he’ll spoil you but not as often, but when he does, this boy gets a little carried away
He’ll show how much he cares for you, staying with you all the time like even if you aren’t in the same place he’ll start a call and won’t end it until he knows you’re going to sleep.
“Atsumu, could you please turn that off?” you ask your boyfriend, who is sitting next to you watching volleyball videos while you make some Physics exercises - yes, he has homework too but he doesn’t care. 
“I can’t, I’m sorry. It’s a very important match” you huff and move away from him trying to concentrate, but with that much noise, you find it difficult. 
He glances at you, watching your reactions, as the time passes he notices you haven’t advanced much “Homework, huh?” Atsumu asks a little insecure and you lift your head a bit surprised.
“Yeah, Physics...but I can’t solve them” you murmur. You rest your head in your hands, letting out a sigh and some curses. The whole week was full of assignments and you were exhausted. 
Atsumu slowly walks to you, shaking his head and smiling smugly. 
“Why such an intelligent and beautiful girl like you worry so much about a little thing like that?” he moves gently your hands away from your face and caresses your cheek with his thumb. “Come on let’s get out of here” he takes your hands and pulls you up from the chair, you blush looking at the wide smile con his face. 
“But I haven’t fin-” 
“It doesn’t matter. I promise we’ll get back soon, but let’s have some fun, shall we?” he leans down, kissing your lips softly. 
//
After strolling for a while in the mall, hands connected. You walk in front of a Music store that has the new album of your favorite singer.  Atsumu trails your figure curious to see what caught your attention. 
Your eyes are so focused in that special edition  Album that you don’t t notice Atsumu entering the store.
“Tsumu, what did you bought?” 
“Oh! I just got the new Album of my favourite singer” he shows you smugly the album. You giggle and place your hands in your hips. 
“Really?... I didn’t know you liked Taylor Swift, Tsumu” He laughs loudly with his eyes closed, motioning the little box to you. 
“This is expensive...why did you-?” 
“I only wanted to see my girlfriend loosen up a bit” you can’t hide how overjoyed you are by his gesture. You jump to kiss his cheek, throwing your arms around his neck. Atsumu places his hands on your waist, lifting you up and then placing you down again.
“Glad you like it babygirl” his fingers run up and down your back gently. You place your head in his chest as he wraps you with his tall figure. 
 “You are one of the smartest in the class, it isn’t right that you are stressing that much... I really don’t understand why do you do but...” his voice sounds a bit irritated, your eyes look at him with uncertainty , and you notice Atsumu frowning.
 “...you can count on me. Always. I’m sorry if I didn’t give you that impression” Stirred by his words you stare at him, eyes open widely, making Atsumu blush deeply a little embarrassed by his own word.
Your heartbeat rises at the thought of Atsumu Miya saving his sweet side only for you. 
At the sight of your house, you bring Atsumu’s  hand to your lips and kiss it lovingly, stealing a gasp from Atsumu lips. 
“Thank you, Tsumu” you hug him tightly and he kisses the top of your head.
“There, there, babygirl. I’m yours” he pats tenderly your head before walking through your front door.  
While you were speaking, smiling foolishly, Osamu looked at you dubiously. You proudly spoke about how the Miya Atsumu managed to comfort you last night, making you joyful by his presence,his gift and ultimately his sweet words.
Tumblr media
The Oikawa scenario was based on a true story but without the happy ending...F in the chat for my math internal  assessment 
Honestly, I’ve never cried that much for a school work.
Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks everyone for reading!
If you want to drop suggestions or only chat I’ll be more than happy!! Byeee (・ε・)  ∴ Master List ∴
375 notes · View notes
werewolf-cl4ws · 3 years
Text
Random head cannons for my AU because these require oddly specific questions I don’t think I’ve ever seen ask memes have.
A lot of these I do have something to back them up with, but others it's just logical hilarity to me because I can.
Kitty!Sonic:
- absolutely mistrusts/gets annoyed by anyone that is an "authority figure" (i.e. adults "in charge", leaders, etc) but does nothing to actually be useful. As a kid he was always told to listen to the adults because "they know best", but after the coup and seeing a good number of adults doing everything in their power to just save their own hides or hiding, it fucked him right off. Only adults he’s ever respected were his uncle and Rosie (Rosie took some time to gain that trust though because why the hell is she teaching us maths when people need help???). Bookshire is another but he does fight Bookshire on occasion because Sonic hates fussing with medical stuff.
This carried on into his own adulthood, and it’s hilarious whenever someone points out he’s the adult now as it sets off his aversion to being older, but if he has to be called an adult then damnit he’s gonna be a USEFUL one at least.
And yes he has confirmed on many occasions that he can and will flip off King Acorn if he plays up. What's he gonna do, ground him? Arrest his for treason? He flipped off Robotnik, he ain't scared of no thing.
- his uncle was brilliant with robotics and mechanics and science. Sonic has literally zero idea about any of those. And yet he’s weirdly good at chemistry. But he doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to use this so no one knows this, but Rotor has come by chemistry formulas mysteriously solved if he leaves them out on his workbench after a night of wracking his brains over why something isn’t working. How does Sonic know this? Nobody knows, Sonic will never tell either, and will deny he’s even good at it.
- he’s also very good at physics, in that he knows exactly how to break physics to do impossible shit. He’s great at figuring out just what angles he needs to shoot himself into to get the most air time, how much speed and lift to land in the exact spot, etc. It all happens automatically to him (it has to, going at the speeds he does there’s literally no time to plan this shit) but if someone asks him he will actually figure it out in the spot with freakishly good accuracy, and can do it not just with him being the projectile but any object (he has worked out perfect catapult trajectories before and it still baffles everyone to this day). Again, he doesn’t know how he knows this, will never tell anyone he knows how to do this, and will deny he knows this.
- he’s also good with musical instruments. Obviously his favourite is the electric guitar, but if you give him a sheet of music and at least an hour to mess around with the instrument he’ll work it out. Getting to watch him play the violin is a rare but delightful treat. This is his special interest, the thing he would have gotten into if the world hadn’t gone to shit. He doesn’t get to indulge in it as much as he’s like but he loves music and could ramble about it for hours on end if given the chance.
The con of this though is that he's really good at identifying music, including ones from operas and orchestras. Sally takes great delight in making him identify both because he does get embarrassed about it, but his pride doesn't allow him to just not pick them out.
- he likes to cook, but he prefers recipes that allow him to leave things to cook without him needing to watch it once it’s prepared. So baking, roasting, slow cook stuff like soups and chili, that’s his jam. Anything that’s gonna be a long haul he has to be basically trapped in his hut to do it without wanting to go nuts (so extra cold days where being outside would be hell are good cooking days).
- during the summer he sleeps in a hammock. During the winter he sleeps in a bed and practically buries himself in blankets.
- loves bubblegum. Gum balls, sticks of gum, whatever. If it’s gum he loves it. Unfortunately it is non existent thanks to the coup (shelf life of gum is terrible) so finding any that’s not terrible is an amazing day.
- milk and cookies is oddly a comfort food to him. Something about the simplicity of it just works for him, and ridiculously shit days are made better by it. Default choc chip cookies work best.
- he hates spiders. More specifically, he hates when you see a spider, look away, then look back only to find the spider is gone. Spiders themselves don’t bother him until they do that, but once they do he has to fight himself to not just set whatever building or dwelling he happens to be on fire in order to solve the issue of having to deal with it later.
- he’s about .0001 seconds away from just walking away into the forest and never coming back. He won’t do it because he honestly doesn’t want to abandon his friends… but he’s so close to just becoming a cryptic in the forest. He has wandered off before when things get super annoying, but someone always drags him back, much to his endless frustration.
Sally:
- can’t cook for anything. Sonic has seen her burn water. Toast somehow always ends in fire. No one ever attempt to drink her coffee for your own sake.
And yet somehow she makes really, really good pancakes. Like ridiculously good. She makes them very rarely because she’s always busy with something and has been banned from all kitchens, but when she does they’re amazing and no one can figure out how this happens.
- if she’s snacking on nuts or anything that doesn’t go soggy (like hard/dry fruits, or extra crusty breads) she will sometimes keep some in her cheeks. Not to the point that her cheeks will be bulging with them, but if she’s working while snacking she will just stash some away so she can focus on what she’s doing, and then when she’s done just finishes those off. This only happens when she needs to focus so she’s pretty discreet about this and has perfected talking/quick chewing with them if someone interrupts her.
- she loves video games, but because they’re so hard to come by thanks to the coup she doesn’t get to play as often as she’d like. She knows Sonic, Tails and Rotor has some stashed away and has played them on the sly, which has left them wondering how their high scores got beaten or how new levels have been unlocked. Though she has to be careful about this because if she’s left alone with them long enough she will just play them until either she finishes the game, or someone physically drags her away from it. This is probably her only weak point in terms of something that can just pull her away entirely from everything.
- she is very, very neat… only because she literally doesn’t make a mess of anything thanks to her one-track mind. If she’s working on a plan or something that needs a lot of research she will basically just make a pathway to her desk and bed and leave everything else undisturbed. She will still shower, only because the shower is just another place for her to think without interruption. This is a big factor on why she can’t cook for shit, too. She just… doesn’t. At all. Because she’s gotta work. Work is life because they may literally die if she can’t figure plans out
- she is genuinely fascinated by legends and myths, which we see a lot of in SatAM. Although she does sometimes dismiss some legends or myths as just stories, if she finds anything that even hints at it being real, and if time allows it, she will chase it down. If it’s anything that might be especially useful in their fight she will go for it after doing a ton of research to make sure she’s got every angle and possibility down. The researching to that extent is due to her own perfectionism, but also because if the expedition turns out to be a bust it could mean time that should have been spent on something else/time being away from the village for a crapshoot.
Sonic and Sally as a couple:
- they don’t use pet names for one another… until one of them is absolutely pushing their luck with the other. Pet names = stop it.
- Sally did once call Sonic a shit-weasel out of anger during such a scenario, and then was immediately apologetic for it because that was Too Far™. Sonic said that made him fall in love with her all over again and it was an awesome insult. Pet names are still a no-go though.
- they live together and everyone thinks it’s Sonic that would be the nightmare to live with.
It’s not.
It’s Sally.
Sonic does get messy and likes to live in organised chaos, but Sally just has the worst sleeping habits (she doesn’t sleep), functions mostly on auto-pilot (the amount of times she eats the last of something but leaves the box it came in/was stored in for Sonic to find drives him up the wall something shocking all because she’s just vaguely thinking "I need food I suppose" alongside whatever she’s doing at the time), and if she’s working on something big she will spread herself everywhere (including Sonic’s bed if he isn’t in it or on it in some way).
Sonic won’t move out because he genuinely thinks if he did Sally would never sleep at proper hours or eat like a regular person unless he monitors her. Plus they actually really do like each other’s company and do miss one another if they aren’t in the same space in their down time. But Sonic is constantly amazed at just how much of a gremlin Sally can be and no one believes him.
- Sally takes great delight in this and amps up her gremlin behaviour because of it. If she does this in front of anyone else it just gets encouraged. It’s okay though because Sonic knows how to be a bastard so it’s a constant battle of who can out bastard or out gremlin who.
- they sleep separately (see aforementioned sleeping habits of gremlin ground squirrel), but on occasion will share a bed. Or share the couch. Sharing will almost always result in Sonic being used as a pillow/mattress but he’s fine with it, as long as it means Sally’s sleeping and they get to cuddle ‘cause cuddling is great.
- Sally loves puns. Sonic has begged her not to say puns. He secretly loves them but he hates that he gets them (temporarily forgetting your own language, then relearning it is a trip and picking up the puns does things to his head). Sally does not stop the puns. This has led to Sonic almost achieving his goal of becoming a forest cryptic as he does just start walking out when she starts.
- this is kinda canon but I like to joke that they are actually legally married and this happened during their zone-hopping adventures. But the marriage itself happened in the most mundane way for the most mundane reason, and yet it is legally binding and they do actually have wedding rings from it. They don’t wear the rings but they do carry it on their person at all times, and pull them out just to blindside people with them because it’s funny.
19 notes · View notes
myemergence · 3 years
Text
take me back to the start
Title: take me back to the start Author: @myemergence Rating: E (for one smut scene, later in the fic) Artist: @benjaminrussell Artwork: MAGAZINE COVER and MUSIC VIDEO Warnings/Triggers: mentions of alcoholism, mentions of OC character death, car accident Notes: Thanks to @marcia-elena for the beta on this. I so appreciate all the work you put in! Written for @buddiebigbang. And the artwork is amazing! I love them so much, Holly! Summary: Country music star, Eddie Diaz, is on a break before his US tour when he gets unexpected news: he has a son. He needs to come home to his hometown in West River, TX right away. He hasn’t set foot there since he left for Nashville nine years ago, leaving his old life behind. West River is the last place that Eddie wants to be—he needs to focus on his career, and his tour—not looking after a kid that he doesn’t even know yet.
Crossing paths with his high school sweetheart, Evan Buckley, who’s now a Deputy with the sheriff’s office just might change all of that, reminding Eddie of the person that he used to be… and the kind of person that he wants to be.
Read the whole thing here: AO3 LINK
*
The thing about being a musician and wrapping up a big tour is that it makes the time afterward to unwind and let loose even more rewarding. Taking the time to ground himself before hitting the road again has become essential for Eddie, an integral part of his process. 
This time, there’s no unwinding. As soon as the last concert in the tour ended, he boarded a red-eye flight from Los Angeles into Houston. And he’s tired, a feeling that’s not exactly foreign to him, but he feels weary down to his bones. He’s headed back to West River, Texas, about fifteen minutes outside of Austin, where he was born and raised.
A place he hasn’t as much as set foot in for nine years.
Eddie blinks blearily as he pulls his rental car up to the drive-through at Dunkin for a much needed coffee. He’s within an hour of West River, but he’s going to need something to power through the last hour of his drive as the sun is beginning to rise over the expanse of otherwise deserted small-town Texas that surrounds him.
It’s so quiet out here that it’s almost unnerving.
“Good morning, sir. That’ll be $3.27.” The dark-haired girl at the drive-through window can’t be more than eighteen. 
“Morning.” He holds out his phone so that she can scan his payment.
“Aren’t you…” She trails off slowly, eyeing him suspiciously. 
Eddie adjusts the trucker hat that he’s wearing, despite the fact that the sun hasn’t become a hindrance yet. He’d put the hat on before he pulled up to the drive-through only a couple of minutes ago. He knows that he’d be nowhere without the support of his fans, but he’s exhausted. He just wants to get to his abuela’s so that he can fall into bed. He’s tempted to drag a hand over his face and beg for his coffee.
“Eddie Diaz.” He introduces himself with a winning smile. He’ll try to find time to rest later. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”
“Rosie. I-I can’t believe I’m preparing Eddie Diaz’s coffee. Nobody is going to believe me,” Rosie practically squeals, her face flushed as she fumbles with scanning his phone. “Here, um,” she steps away from the drive-through window momentarily and comes back with a pastry bag along with his coffee. Simple like always: black, with 2 sugars. “For the road. Gone Now really helped me through a hard time, when I lost my grandpa—and you wrote it about yours.”
Eddie’s smile becomes more genuine as he takes the coffee and muffin from the girl. He’s sure he looks like a mess, with blood-shot eyes and bags under his eyes. “I think most people have forgotten about that song. That was on my debut album.” He’d written that song what feels like a lifetime ago.
Like he was a different person back then than he is now. He supposes that in some ways, he was.
“I was only thirteen when it came out,” Rosie says. “I hope you make more songs like that. Your new stuff is great, but… that’s definitely my favorite. Anyhow, I won’t keep you, I’m sure you’ve got somewhere to be.”
“I do,” Eddie confirms, reaching over into the top of his duffel bag that’s resting on the passenger seat. “It was really nice to meet you, Rosie.” He hands her one of the signed albums that he carries with him, a simple thank you that he likes to have for those truly special fans. “It’s not my debut album, but I do hope you’ll enjoy it.”
Eddie offers her a parting wave as he pulls away, and tosses the hat that was his poor attempt at disguise onto the passenger seat. He takes several sips from the steaming coffee, then sets it in the cupholder, wincing as the heat nips at his tongue, hoping that the caffeine will help keep him alert for the rest of the drive home.
Before he pulls onto the road, he scrolls through his phone, pulling up his debut album on Spotify and pressing play, a wistful smile crossing his face. He’s trying to put a little space between him and the reason that he’s coming home to West River; Rosie’s words remind him, at least for a moment, why he started making music in the first place. He hears the familiar opening chords and pulls out onto the quiet road.
There was a time when not a single day
Went by without us talking
And now I can barely remember your face
We’d spend hours weaving words
And guitar notes together
Just you and me in the music’s embrace
But you’re gone now, you’re gone
All those moments lie six-feet deep in the ground
You’re gone now, you’re gone
I keep missing you ‘cause you’re not around
He knows he can’t live in this world of make-believe for long. He can’t pretend that what matters is his connection to the music anymore—he stopped writing his own music long ago. But it’s nice to remember, even if those moments are fleeting.
*
Eddie pulls into the same gravel driveway that he used to skid his bike tires on as a kid. His abuela still lives in the same house she did back then, only a few doors down from his childhood home. His parents moved an hour north about five years ago. Eddie’s stomach flops a bit, and he tries not to dwell on how little he talks to them these days, or their lack of support over the years.
 He drags himself out of the rental car and grabs his bag out of the passenger side, leaving the rest of his luggage in the trunk. Before he can even make his way up the short drive, his abuela steps out onto the porch.
Eddie yawns into the crook of his elbow, then makes his way up to her. “Hey, Abuela,” he murmurs, pecking her on the cheek.
“Eddie,” Abuela says. She welcomes him with a crushing embrace, and he smiles as he hugs her back. She pulls back just enough that he can see a fire in her eyes; he already knows what that means, so he remains silent until she spits it out. “You were supposed to call me back so I knew you were doing alright.”
“I told you I have you listed as my emergency contact. If anything happens to me you’ll be the first one they call,” Eddie teases with a laugh.
“Edmundo,” she scolds, swatting his arm, and he watches as her jaw tenses under his name.
“Okay,” Eddie acquiesces. “I’m sorry, alright? I’ll be more cautious next time and call you. But Houston to West River isn’t a long drive.”
“Shannon—”
“Can we talk about this later?” Eddie asks. “I haven’t slept in over twenty-four hours. I just need a couple of hours and then I promise we’ll talk, okay?”
“But, Eddie—” Despite the fact that he’ll probably be reamed for not turning his full attention to her, Eddie pushes the door open and steps inside. He stops in his tracks as his eyes catch sight of the figure who’s settled at the table, and his duffel bag drops to the floor. He feels abuela’s hand on his shoulder. “This is—”
The pretending is over.
“This is Christopher, your son.”
*
Eddie knew coming back home to West River wasn’t going to be a vacation in any sense of the word. He knew what would be waiting for him; baggage so heavy that it had the ability to destroy his entire career. The dream that he’d risked everything for, that he’d given up everything for.
This is Christopher, your son.
Abuela’s words echo in his ears.
Sure, there had been a few phone calls beforehand, warning Eddie of the kid’s existence after Shannon had shown up at Abuela’s with the boy. That hadn’t prepared him for this moment at all.
What the fuck is he going to do?
The temptation to drop by the hole-in-the-wall bar downtown to take the edge off is there. Instead, he tells Abuela he has to take care of some things and he disappears. He just needs to drive around for a little bit to clear his head. He needs to figure out what he’s going to do.
A kid will ruin everything.
How could Shannon keep this kid to herself for years, not mention a word of his existence, and then just drop him off and leave like he’s somehow now Eddie’s responsibility?
Eddie unrolls the window, letting the evening air hit his face as his foot presses down more firmly on the gas pedal.
Take care of it. You only have a few months until the tour.
Fuck all of this.
These backroads are so familiar, and there’s something comforting in driving down them late at night, when the rest of the town is quiet. It reminds him of those late nights when he and Buck would—
Eddie stops his thoughts short, the ache in his chest just as familiar as these roads. Buck.
What are the chances that in a town of a few thousand people he won’t run into Evan Buckley? That’s even if he still lives here. Eddie shakes the notion from his head, refusing to allow himself to get nostalgic about the past. A past that revolved around Buck.
Right now, he needs to focus on how he’s going to fix his life—before it becomes a public relations disaster.
Pressing down on the gas harder, Eddie gets lost in the feeling of the cool night air hitting his face, saving him from his downward spiral and memories of Buck.
Unfortunately, the moment is short lived. Red and blue lights flash in his rearview mirror amidst the otherwise stark darkness of the night. With a sigh, he pulls over to the shoulder of the road.
*
Buck climbs out of the cruiser and closes the door, walking up to the driver’s side of the out-of-state car. “Do you know why I stopped you tonight?” He quickly scans the inside of the vehicle, assessing if there are any passengers that he needs to be aware of before settling his sight on the driver.
Of all the people he could’ve had the unfortunate task of pulling over tonight, somehow it’s Eddie Diaz. He studies Eddie’s face, tipping his head to the side as his identity registers with Eddie. 
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Buck.”
It’s like he took the words right out of Buck’s mouth, because really, what are the fucking chances? After nine years Eddie somehow still has the ability to make Buck’s heart thunder in his chest merely by saying his name. His jaw tightens as he looks at the country music star in front of him.
“It’s Deputy Buckley,” Buck tells Eddie, his voice tight. “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
“This has to be an actual nightmare,” Eddie mutters, though Buck’s sure at this point that he’s talking to himself.
“License and registration.”
“Evan—”
“I said, license and registration. Don’t make me ask again. I’m going to suggest that you actually listen this time if you don’t want to end up in jail for the night.”
Eddie’s mouth snaps shut at Buck’s words. “I’m gonna grab the registration from the glove compartment.” He opens the glove box and hands over the paperwork, along with his license.
“Yeah, didn’t think you’d want that news story,” Buck mutters as he takes the documents and inspects them. He obviously knows that it’s Eddie, and he already ran the plates and knows that it belongs to a rental in Houston. He hands the paperwork back to Eddie. “Watch your speed, because next time I’m not going to be this nice,” Buck warns.
“This is nice?” Eddie actually has the audacity to laugh at him. “Seems more like you’re Deputy Dick to me.”
Buck’s lips press together into a tight line. He’s used to not being well liked while on the job—but it feels harsher coming from Eddie. “You know, I could still take you in tonight, if that’s what you want.”
Eddie shrinks under the words, and what he says next sounds sincere. “You know that’s not what I want.”
The same words that Eddie had said to him all those years ago, at the end. Buck feels his chest fracture down the middle, a reprise of the heartbreak that Eddie left in his wake.
He forces himself to school his expression despite the way he’s feeling. “Have a good night, Eddie.”
He doesn’t wait for Eddie to respond, turning sharply on his heels and walking away from the man that’s had his heart all along.
*
“You know, I don’t really think that this qualifies as guys’ night,” Buck says as he looks across the card table at Chimney, taking a sip of the lemonade in front of him. 
 Chim raises his brow a little, glancing in the direction of the living room. “You’re my brother-in-law,” Chim says, “and I’m not sure how to say this delicately, so I’m just gonna say it. If there’s one Buckley I’m trying to make happy right now, it’s not you, Buck. I’m trying to get in her good graces after the bottle rocket incident.”
Josh snorts from where he’s sitting, bringing the beer up to his lips.
“I’m not going to be the one to tell my wife that she needs to leave so we can have a proper guys’ night,” Chim adds.
“You would never say something to Maddie, and not just about guys’ night,” Josh challenges, his brows shooting up.
“I’m sorry, was that a complaint I just heard? Because I’m pretty sure that the last time you hosted a card night your mom showed up,” Chim points out.
“And Buck’s place—”
“Has constant interruption. I know, I know.” Buck rolls his eyes dramatically. “Are you gonna deal us in, or what?”
“Mads, were you gonna join us?” Chim calls helpfully into the other room, and Buck glares at him.
Maddie lifts herself off of the couch and walks out to the dining room table where they’re all situated, grabbing the bowl of chips from the counter and pulling up an empty seat. “I don’t want to play, but I’d love to talk to you guys.”
They really need to start finding different circles of friends, at least for nights like tonight. It’s not as if Buck’s going to tell his pregnant sister to go away, so instead he smiles. “We’d love it if you talked to us, Mads.”
“Really?” She grins, and Chim looks at Buck gratefully. “So, I heard a rumor that Eddie’s back in town.”
“Pick a different subject.”
“He’s back in town and got pulled over by West River’s youngest and brightest the other night,” Chim says.
Just the mention of Eddie’s name is an unwanted reminder that he’s back in town, at least temporarily. The fact that this wasn’t a figment of Buck’s imagination sends his brain into overdrive. There’s been some speculation over the reason for his return, and Buck has done everything in his power to stay squarely on the outside of those conversations.
He’s made it clear to his family and friends since Eddie left town that there is one topic that he refuses to discuss: Eddie Diaz. A lot of the locals were around Eddie growing up, and having someone that’s famous from their small hometown is something to talk about—especially when there’s a new tour that’s announced, or when Eddie is working on a new album.
But his friends? They know that it’s a hard and fast rule, and bringing it up on guys’ night is a definite foul. 
“Guys,” Buck manages as evenly as he can muster. “Talk about something else.”
A tense silence falls over the room, and for a minute Buck refuses to look up, knowing the pity that crosses their faces any time that someone brings up Eddie. He’s tried to hide his heartbreak behind indifference, but he’s not naive enough to believe that any of them buy it. Most of them had front-row seats as they watched Buck’s hopes and dreams shatter to the ground around him, leaving a hollow shell behind.
Finally he looks up.
“Can we make an exception this one time, Ev?”
“Maddie. I don’t talk about— about this, and you know that.”
Maddie’s hand covers his, her touch light, her tone equally calm and even. “You know, this has a name.”
“Why are you bringing him up now? You know I moved on from him a long time ago.”
It’s as if Chim and Josh aren’t sitting awkwardly at the table, trying to avoid the line of fire. Even if Maddie is officially a Han now, nobody wants to get obliterated during a battle of the wills between the siblings.
“This is guys’ night,” Buck reminds her. “The one night of the week that I can unwind and relax. Instead you’re here and dredging up a past that died years ago.” He lets out an exasperated sigh. “I was a kid. Just a stupid kid. There’s nothing else to say. We were together and then we weren’t. He has his life now, and I have mine.”
“Maybe that’s true, but you never did move on, not really. He’s in town for who knows how long, so maybe it’d be a good chance for the two of you to talk?”
“No, it wouldn’t. And, uh, thanks for ruining tonight,” Buck mutters as he stands up from the table. This is the kind of interference he’d expect from their out-of-town parents, always assuming they know what’s best, but not from Maddie.
“Buck,” Chim warns, and Buck sighs again, shaking his head in frustration. Chim’s always been protective of Maddie, something that Buck’s always appreciated, especially after all that she endured with Doug, but tonight feels like the exception.
“I’m gonna head home.”
“Buck, you really don’t have to go,” Josh says helplessly.
He attempts a smile for what Josh is trying to do—slapping a bandage on the evening, trying to piece everything back together. Buck shakes his head. “I think it’s for the best if I go.”
Buck says his goodbyes and hops into his Jeep, driving home. He knows that Maddie has the best of intentions, and that she cares about him with her whole heart, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
When he arrives home he notices there are only a few lights left on in the house, and that the porch light is on for him. 
“You’re home awful early,” Carla says as soon as he makes his way inside, barely looking up from the little girl that’s propped against her side.
He shrugs a little, not wanting to get into all of the details of how the night quickly spiraled out of control in a way that was just too much for him to handle. “I couldn’t stand the time away from her.”
“Mhm,” Carla says in her knowing way, and Buck’s thankful that she doesn’t say more than that. She knows enough about his past with Eddie, but she’s always stayed out of that part of his life.
Buck toes off his shoes, crossing the room then and scooping Lucy up in his arms. “Hey baby,” he murmurs, placing a kiss on the crown of her head.
“She insisted I read her three stories out here and not in her bed because she was ‘not tired yet, Carla’.”
Buck chuckles at her words, feeling Lucy squirm in his arms before she settles again. She rests her head against his shoulder and he hoists her up higher so that she can curl into him. In a world where everything else is imperfect he’s able to come home and hold a little piece of perfection in his arms. Their lives have been far from easy, and there isn’t a day that Buck doesn’t wish he could be more for her.
He’s doing his best to make up for the huge piece missing from her life—the absence of her mother. Every day she helps him remember that there is more than heartbreak and loss, that sometimes there’s hope, too. He has to hold on to that.
“I’m gonna head out,” Carla says, kissing the back of Lucy’s head and giving Buck a sideways hug before leaving.
Buck walks down the hallway, glancing at Lucy’s bedroom door and then pivoting, walking across the hall to his own room and laying the sleeping girl down on the pillows, covering her with the sheet and comforter. He gets ready for bed and lies on top of the covers beside her. He knows he shouldn’t make a habit out of this and he won’t, but tonight he needs the physical proof.
He hasn’t lost everything, because he still has Lucy.
21 notes · View notes