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caltropspress · 3 years

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FEEDBACK LOOP #7: Curly Castro’s “Weapon 13X” featuring Breeze Brewin

There was a very old man, an old white man out in the crowd, and he started screaming and crying like a baby and he kept crying and he said, “God damn, God damn, what is this God damn country coming to that the niggers have got guns, the niggers are armed and the police can’t even arrest them!” He kept crying and somebody led him away through the crowd.

—Robert F. Williams, Negroes with Guns (1962)

Gun flash beats the child’s head in, maniac teeth dance in a bloody grin blue lies, badge confessions, yng dude dead just beyond his mama’s arms

—Amiri Baraka, “Stop Killer Cops”

Police said Cleaver and Hutton were holed up at 1218 28th Street with two 9 mm automatic pistols, two AR-15 and one military-type M-14 automatic rifle, and a large supply of ammunition, some armor-piercing.

—Berkeley Barb, Volume 6, Number 15, Issue 139

“Weapon 13X” is a diptych. Two verses; one pivot—or volta, for you bookworms. Curly Castro is first with a séance that summons the mysteries of Clarence 13X and Weapon X. These nullified variables and Roman numerals come together in an elixir mix so potent that it would make Aes Rock choke on the amalgam. Castro opens the fission gate and discharges two-hundred forty thousand mega-therms on the city of brotherly love, the city of bombs from above onto a 6221 Osage Avenue row house. Shameek just got bust in his arm, leg, leg, arm, head. The Black man is God personified, and Logan is regenerative. Adamantium claws. Mathematical jaws. Science dropped and experiments performed. Spark this like metal does when dragged across concrete.

2. “Harriet would grab her balls, / This my gun, and this my rifle.”

Harriet Tubman gets cast by Kubrick for Full Metal Jacket, recites the Rifleman’s Creed, but it was actually a pistol she kept buried within the folds of her calico. She sallied forth seeing visions from the overseer’s heave of a weight—made her skull snap. Don’t sleep. “When the caliber’s inside you,” you can’t necessarily count on “the muzzle smoke revival.”

Quelle Chris provides production, lest we forget his 2019 Guns album with its Dada-bullet, double-barreled barrage album art. The title track armed to the teeth: “Ain’t no cracking that code, / Ain’t no safety on locks, / Might as well get you one, / Procrastinating will get you popped.” The machine gun funk outs finks and COINTELPRO cooperators, conspirators, dispiriters. Here, Castro’s got those same turncoats and sucker MCs in his sights, so to speak.

4. [The oppressor] teaches the Negro that he has no worth-while past, that his race has done nothing significant since the beginning of time, and that there is no evidence that he will ever achieve anything great. (Carter Godwin Woodson, The Mis-Education of the Negro, 1933)

Castro makes a promise, provoked by those who came before him, those who brandished firearms in the faces of their enemies:

We never will disarm: these are the lies that you were sold, When your glory tripped up, you trade your weapons in for gold. With Yakub in the schools, trade your dreams, knowledge folds. Found the tome, Mis-Education Negroes…

Dr. Yakub sloshing liquids in the lab—Bunsen burners explode and the lab leak is viral whiteness. Tricknology replaces Biology. Castro is looking back while moving forward. “Doomed to repeat it”-type forewarnings. He knows the ledge and also wants his people to.

aim get your sights & its sound in abstract or journal movements to a peace settlement

dude shot my man

dead, precious lord blow off theres no willy in th blues theres no you.

—from Tom Weatherly’s Maumau American Cantos (1970)

Castro is a “gunhand, cybernetic with spray cans, / Basquiat, baklava, Mau Mau.” That’s likely an intentional malaprop—surely his militant stance calls for a balaclava. Even still, Castro doesn’t stutter. He will still sh-sh-shift his voice on you—the dynamics of his delivery raise stakes and get guttural, scraping against sewer plates. He’s potent, even if Basquiat’s pistol appears flaccid with its hand-scrawled linework. In another piece, Basquiat starts the decolonization process at the point of a safari helmet. The image detonates.

6. Free country? Man, I should fuck you up for sayin’ that stupid shit alone.

“This film is a call to racial violence!” a film critic shouted at Roger Ebert after a screening of Do the Right Thing. She worried Bed-Stuy would set fire to theaters, but Lee’s 1989 film wasn’t The Rite of Spring in Paris in 1913. An amerikan psychotic turn to theater violence would be postponed until Aurora in 2012, and it would be white violence, which would come as a shock to none who have tracked the trajectory of white violence. Displacement is white violence, too. White violence is a sine qua non for gentrification. And so Castro allies himself with “Buggin’ Out battle brownstone houses, some Bird fans, / While Mookie turns the radio up and launched the trashcan.”

7. “We are the weapons.”

Of late, Castro has consistently been proving you’re out your depth, with verses so allusive they suggest a strong “Erick Sermon and Parrish Smith, nobody blink. / They don’t now who the fuck that is” vibe. So what, though? At this point, Castro’s a vet, an elder. The youngins need to catch up or cash out. Get KRS-One bookish, kiddies, or be left behind. Be the weapon or never prosper. Create your own mythos: “Omega built a mother by the sun and Cyclops sent / a blurred Baraka poem capable to raise the dead. / Yet instead I use the sword...”—with Wu-Tang pronunciation of the w in “sword,” of course. History moves backwards and forwards at the same time. Language is lost and recovered. The poem is “blurred” because it’s been duplicated on a mimeograph—a machine that involves a “drum.” The words are ink-smudged. Baraka’s former partner, Diane di Prima, shouted, “"Power to the people's mimeo machines!” Accuse and attack, Baraka sloganeered. We’re talking about agency—by hand-crank, handgun, or mic check.

Castro creates imagery like Emory Douglas did with paint: painfully bold and saturated with color like blood soaks clothes. Baraka called Douglas’s art a combo of “expressionist agitprop and homeboy familiarity,” which applies to what Castro does on the track. I quote Mao who called literature and art “part of the whole proletarian revolutionary cause,” and Mao quotes Lenin who called lit and art the “cogs and wheels in the whole revolutionary machine.” And Baraka also said Douglas’s work:

functioned as if you were in the middle of a rumble and somebody tossed you a machine pistol. It armed your mind and demeanor. Ruthlessly funny, but at the same time functional as the .45 slugs pouring out of that weapon.

The Panthers were trapped and tear-gassed in a West Oakland basement. Eldridge Cleaver told Bobby to go out naked—unarmed as the day he was born not quite eighteen years earlier—but he emerged from the burning house fully dressed, with dignity, and he was searchlighted and shotshotshotshotshotshotshot dead.

Castro needs Brewin to make the cypher complete—a two-man killarmy using loud words in quiet wars, no silencer.

9. “Before blurting out, try analysis, brother.”

Breeze’s Yo, listen… at the start of his verse is comparable to Sir Thomas Wyatt intoning Whoso list to hunt… to begin his 16th-century sonnet. The amalgam here is less Five Percenter plus clandestine government experimentation and more a deconstruction of the both violent and sexualized language of braggadocio. “Anything you say isn’t played like Miranda Rights,” and so we’re already with our hands behind our backs, silenced by an pig officer’s gag order. The competition doesn’t get played; they play themselves.

Sir Thomas Wyatt sets it off like so:

Whoso list to hunt, I know where is an hind, But as for me, hélas, I may no more. The vain travail hath wearied me so sore, I am of them that farthest cometh behind. Yet may I by no means my wearied mind Draw from the deer, but as she fleeth afore Fainting I follow.

Breeze has wanted to stay pleasant to the ears—you know, like Lauryn Hill phone sexing—so this isn’t new territory but rather a well-worn path. Wyatt’s wearied and “so sore” by “the hunt,” the pursuit of his love interest, even though he knows “where is an hind.” Still, “as she fleeth afore / Fainting [he] follows.” He can’t help himself.

Love is lost within violent pursuit. Breeze speaks of a “plan to strike” and “zero in” on a “target,” his quarry. He and Castro are “talking about broads often, no doubt, / We broad and burly as hell, / Brag about the hunt, you was jukin’ a girly gazelle.” Breeze’s assault is dizzying, a salvo from all angles: “Hit ’em with some counter clay rebuttals that’s subtle but still befuddle if dude slow.”

10. “It’s nothin’, I gotcha, and that’s word to Super Lover Cee.”

Super Lover Cee and Casanova Rud’s 1988 single “Girls I Got ’Em Locked” articulates the carceral embrace of “locking” a girl down, which—consequently—requires violence to enforce: “Don’t ever touch a girl owned by me or I’ll ruin ya’, / Slap you with my mic simultaneously as I’m doin’ ya.” The girl is commodified, and Super Lover Cee takes a proprietary attitude toward the relationship. If you overstep, you’ll be ruined, that is, you’ll fall. And while you’re prostrate, you’ll be slapped with the phallic mic simultaneously. Is the Super Lover doin’ her or you, though? What’s truly getting him off? That hypermasculine posturing skews homoerotic. Breeze Brewin laughs at you for subscribing to the nonsense: “Dag, if that was what you believe then your world be a hell.”

11.

Liberal discourse suggests policing your impulses. Put down the gun—don’t touch it. “Touchy subjects,” like racism (apparently), get the “We need to have a conversation” treatment. Look, don’t touch. Don’t touch the exhibit of stolen artifacts—those Benin bronzes in the British Museum. Beneath the topic of orignoo gunn clapping, Curly Castro’s track is about the x’s and o’s of eros as well. Many gestures meant to protect women are merely some other man staking his claim, adorning her with “diamonds in letters plain,” as Wyatt writes of the collar around the deer’s “fair neck.” Wyatt’s sonnet warns against overstepping (or even half-stepping). The collar reads Noli me tangere (touch me not)—she belongs to someone else. It’s a bad touch example. Like his fellow Indelible J-Treds, Breeze Brewin is the living circle-circle-dot-dot: nobody can touch him.

12.

Let’s bring it back to Little Bobby Hutton. When Eldridge Cleaver told him to leave the ambushed basement naked, he was thinking of Bobby’s safety. He thought the extreme measure of appearing on the street without clothes would be enough to convince the pigs he wasn’t armed. Cleaver was naïve to think so. Bobby Hutton was right to emerge clothed. In doing so, he rejected the indignity of the auction block, the lynching, the mutilation and spreading of souvenir flesh. The searchlight made Bobby Hutton the subject of a spectacle, yes, but he refused to consent to the psychosexual desires of white supremacy. He refused the castration ritual. Little Bobby Hutton, in effect, threw down a challenge to the cops: Use your imagination once again. Try to think of a few situations where your own weapon might be used against you…used against you…used against you.

Images:

Emory Douglas, The Black Panther, Vol. IV, No. 78, 1971 (detail) | Weapon X (detail, issue unknown) | Emory Douglas, Rat Subterranean News (1970) | Harriet Tubman with gun sketch | Anti-Mau Mau British propaganda poster | Newspaper headline from Negroes with Guns | Jean-Michel Basquiat, Untitled (date unknown) | Jean-Michel Basquiat, Native Carrying Some Guns, Bibles, and Amorites on Safari (1982) | Screenshot from Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing (1989) | Two images from the Berkeley Barb, Volume 6, Number 15, Issue 139 (1968) | Emory Douglas, The Black Panther (miscellaneous poster) | Medieval depiction of the hunt (unknown) | Image detail from the Berkeley Barb, Volume 6, Number 15, Issue 139 (1968)

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supernutellastuff · 4 years

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Endings, Beginnings - a short and fluffy Zutara fix-it

Something different from my usual style. Wrote this for my friend because neither of us could deal with our broken shipper hearts after ATLA ended. Feedback is appreciated! Read it on ao3 here :)

xxx

The streets of the Fire Nation capital are awash in the soft golden light of dawn as the new Fire Lord stands at his balcony, struggling with his red ceremonial robes. The bandages covering his chest are stiff and awkward but the only thing preventing him from ripping them off is the prospect of incurring his uncle’s displeasure. Though that doesn’t stop him from cursing out loud while trying to stuff his arms into the robes.

“Need help with that?”

Zuko turns. There she is, leaning casually against the open doorway, a teasing smile playing on her lips. She looks fresh, considering the ordeal she’s been through.

“Katara.”

“You sound surprised.”

“I thought you’d be with Aang.”

“Aang…has Avatar duties. I came to check up on you.”

“First day as the Fire Lord and I’m already failing.” He gestures ruefully at his half-open robes.

Katara rolls her eyes and walks over to him. With practiced movements, she gets his arms through the holes but pauses before tying up the front of his clothes. Her eyes linger on his chest. “Does it hurt?”

“Sometimes.”

“I still don’t know how to thank you.” She backs away, maintaining a more respectable distance.

“Then don’t,” he snaps. He still has nightmares about being a split-second too late and watching the lightning strike Katara. It hadn’t even crossed his mind to redirect it when he’d realised what Azula was going to do. Bending lightning required mastery over emotions, something which Zuko had long recognised was impossible when it came to Katara.

“You saved my life.” Her eyes are fierce.

“And you saved mine, so we’re even.”

“What about when you saved me from being crushed by rocks at the Western Air Temple?”

“Oh, we’re acknowledging that now, are we?”

“And when you helped find my mother’s killer and bring me closure?”

“It was the least I could do for betraying you in the crystal catacombs.” He’d given her every reason to hate him and yet she hadn’t hesitated in offering to heal him. He still remembers the way she’d traced his scar with her fingertips. Even Mai had never touched his scar. He thinks of Mai, now on a ship headed far far away from the Fire Nation. As soon she’d been released from prison, they had sat down and talked and this time it was she who had ended things for good. Zuko hadn’t even pretended to feel anything but relief.

She crosses her arms. “What, are you saying you’re the one in my debt?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm…” Zuko is nonplussed to see that she’s smiling. “You’ll have to put up with me a little longer then, until I figure out a way to collect on my debt.”

“I do have a way,” he blurts out before he can think twice. “Become the Southern Water Tribe ambassador to the Fire Nation. Help in the reconstruction and rehabilitation. Help in resuming trade and peace relations between the nations.” She looks taken aback so he blunders on, suddenly uncertain of the offer. “It’s a lot of boring politics and it’ll keep you away from your friends and family, so I understand why you may not—actually forget I ever said anything.”

“Sokka and Suki are thinking of travelling on their own, Toph is planning to open a metalbending academy, Aang wants to resettle the Air Nomad colonies. It’s not like I had anything else planned…” she trails off.

“You’re not going with Aang?” He toys with a stray thread, voice deliberately casual. While it was obvious the way the kid mooned over Katara, it had been a little more ambiguous on her side. But things might have changed now: who wouldn’t choose the Avatar, the hero who ended the war?

Katara’s face clouds over. “Aang needs to realise that I don’t fit into all his plans. That I don’t want to.” She tugs on her hair loops, anxious. “So it’s not about Aang or the rest. I just…I don’t know if I deserve the position,” she whispers.

Zuko snorts. “Who’s more deserving than the master waterbender who took down Azula at the height of her powers?”

Her smile grows. “In that case, I accept.”

“Good.” Their eyes meet, hold, and the moment stretches. He breaks away with difficulty; he has nations to address and he needs to look the part.

The rest of the royal raiment has been laid out on the bed. It was somehow important to him that he do this by himself so he’d dismissed his attendants. Katara, perhaps sensing this, refrains from extending a helping hand. He puts on his gold-threaded robes, gathers his hair into a topknot, slides on the ornamental headpiece and adjusts it until it stops scraping painfully against his skull. All the while, he can sense her gaze on him. It does not make him feel flustered. Not at all.

“Would you like some tea?” he asks after the fifth time accidentally catching her eye in the mirror. If one thing Iroh has taught him, it’s this: never let your guests leave without a cup of tea. Luckily he has a pot ready in his room.

Katara nods. He crosses to the little table in front of the still-burning fireplace and picks up the pot, stays the lid with one hand, and pours into a porcelain cup. The tea’s gone cold, so Zuko takes a deep breath, reaches into his chi, and exhales. The inside of his hands glow with warmth. He places his palms around the cup until steam rises gently from the surface.

She takes the cup from him and their hands brush, her fingers cool against his burning skin. An expression of delight spreads across her face at the first sip. “This is lovely!”

Zuko grins. “Uncle’s special blend—white dragon bush. ‘So delicious, it’s heart-breaking’” he quotes, fondly.

They chat about nothing and everything while he finishes his transformation into the Fire Lord and Katara her tea. She’s already bursting with ideas about her new role.

When he’s finally ready, he extinguishes the fireplace with a deft flick of his wrist, and turns to leave. And that's when the skies choose to burst open. Groaning, he cranes his head out the balcony and catches a few stray drops of water on his face. The rain comes down in waves, lashing the marbled courtyard. The walkway from his quarters to the palace where the official ceremony will be held is fully uncovered. It would’ve been easier to stay in one of the palace rooms but Zuko wasn’t fully comfortable with that idea. Living in the guest quarters had seemed like a suitable temporary solution until the weather had gone and ruined that as well.

Zuko hurries down to the gate and stops at the threshold, deeply annoyed. Water seeps through, almost soaking his feet. “Great. Just great.”

“What are you waiting for?” says Katara, coming up from behind.

He waves a listless hand at the rain and then over his ceremonial clothes and careful updo.

“Good thing you have a waterbender by your side.” Katara places a hand between his shoulders, just like the time when they’d been standing over a chained Azula, half-crazed with anger and spitting fire, and the only thing keeping him upright had been the unyielding support of Katara’s palm on his back.

She nudges him to move and they fall into step together. Her other hand cuts through the air in graceful arcs, bending away the rain directly above their heads. They shuffle slowly across the courtyard, enclosed in a bubble of dry air amidst the heavy shower. It’s like he is behind thick-plated glass; all he can hear is the sound of her breathing, all he can see are the sinuous shadows of the rain on her face.

When they’re finally safe beneath the shade on the palace steps, she releases him. “I should go find Sokka and my father,” she says. “Aang should be waiting for you inside.”

He nods, suddenly nervous.

“You’ll be fine, Zuko.” He doesn’t know what she means—the speech, ruling as the Fire Lord, climbing up the steps without tripping himself—but a spark of hope ignites in his chest.

The rain stops as abruptly as it had begun. He watches Katara walk away, stepping nimbly over puddles, her ocean blue tunic swishing around her legs. And long after she is gone, he feels the warmth of her hand on his back.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #zutara #zutara fanfiction #my writing #zuko #katara #atla fanfiction #zuko x katara #zutara fanfic

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heyhihellowhatsup0 · 5 years

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Dark Webs (Dark! Peter Parker x Reader) - Chapter Three

Warnings: Topics of death, PTSD and depression, substance abuse, angst, violence (this chapter does get a little graphic for those sensitive to gore and violence) ignoring some of the MCU timeline/AU

Word Count: 5562 (A bit longer - but I promise, it’s worth it!)

Summary: Still not giving up on Peter, you continue to try and find a way to get him back. Only to find out that Peter has other plans for you...

A/N: Thank you all so much for giving me your feedback on this series! Please continue to send me your thoughts and if you want to be added to the taglist, please Inbox me or reply to the post! Love you all!!

Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two

“Look at what we got here! Peter’s lightsaber collection,” you teased him, panning his camera towards his shelves, “Jeez, Parker. I thought you were dorky, but didn’t think this much. You even have them alphabetized,” you let out a giggle, panning over each and every one slowly before Peter grabbed the camera away from you.

He pointed it towards you, extending his favorite lightsaber at you, “If you mock the Jedi, you must fight the Jedi!” Peter exclaims as he lights it up to show off for you.

“Yup, you just got dorkier,” you tell him with a laugh. You grabbed the the red one with a maniacal look, “The First Order will seize you now…” you told him as you lit your saber up to match his.

“No!” Peter shouts for dramatic effect, slamming his lightsaber up against yours. He let out a roar of laughter, his camera falling to the bed as he begins to get into his reenactment, “You’re dead, Y/N!”

You rolled your eyes as you fall on your back on his mattress, your lightsaber pressed up against his as he hovered over you, “Not today, Parker!” you shout back. But before he’s able to finish you off, you slide his plastic lightsaber into his own chest.

“Ugh!” Peter shouted out, pretending to die. He collapsed on top of you, making you laugh as he gurgled, “You killed me, you killed me!” He groaned as his hands went to his chest.

Peter turned his lightsaber off, sliding it into his belt loop with a confident look, “The force is strong with me. Don’t you ever forget it, Y/N,” Peter told you as he stuck his tongue out at you playfully.

You finally open your eyes, coming back to life as you sit up on your elbows, “You could never kill anyone, even if you wanted to,” you said to him, turning your lightsaber off and tossing it over to him.

“That’s a good thing, right?” Peter asked, giving you a look as he placed the lightsabers back in the organized order he had them in originally.

“I would say so. You don’t have a murderous bone in that spider-infected body of yours,” you joke, grabbing his camera and pointing it directly at him, “Am I wrong?” you tested him, zooming in on his face.

Peter inhaled, thinking about his response before he leaned forward closer to you. His face close to yours as he looked directly in your eyes instead of looking into the camera.

“Y/N, I’d never hurt anyone unless I really had to,” Peter said with seriousness in his eyes. You knew he was telling the truth right then and there and that he was certainly one of the good guys.

“Well the best part about having Spider-

“-Hey, you’ve been here a while, you okay?” Harry asked, poking his head into his office where you were sitting at his desk, trying to work on your next piece.

Startled at the sudden interruption, you slammed your laptop shut, wiping a tear away from your cheek as you tried to pretend that that video you watched wasn’t real.

“Uh, yeah. Just got a little side tracked, I think,” you told him, still feeling uneasy from the events that occurred last night, “I think I need to just finish this in the morning,” you finally decided.

Harry shuffled over, leaning his chin on your shoulder as he kissed below your ear, “Maybe you should call out from work tomorrow,” he suggested.

“I can’t, I have a deadline,” you let out a sigh, thinking about the article that needed to get done.

Late the other night when you were with Peter, some of the tech that Peter had stolen and given to Kingpin a few weeks ago was used in a local robbery from a hospital, stealing high tech medical supplies. Now you were convinced whoever was buying the tech from Kingpin was using it for further gain. This went far beyond Stark Technology and Peter.

“I may stop by the hospital and see if I can get behind the police tape too. You used to work for that hospital right?” You asked Harry, remembering he worked in the science labs there while working under his father before his passing, “Do you think maybe you could get me in there?”

“Y/N, stop!” Harry told you. He swiveled your chair around to look at you. Putting your face in between his palms, his crisp green eyes stared back at you with worry and fear, “You just came back with bruises up and down your arm and I didn’t ask what that was about. But now you want to go back out there? For what? For Spider-Man? To prove that none of this is your beloved Spider-Man? You’re going to get yourself killed, Y/N!” Harry said, trying to knock some sense into you.

“What has Spider-Man done for you in the last few months, Y/N? Come on,” Harry said a bit more aggressively.

You were silent. You wanted to be angry with him, but how could you be? Spider-Man had been missing since Tony Stark died. The remaining Avengers were doing their parts in all areas of the world, and New York was in utter chaos. In a time when the city needed Spider-Man the most, he ran away from his responsibility. And nothing that you were doing was helping.

Harry may not have been the biggest fan of Spider-Man, but many people weren’t. Especially now. And sadly, you were beginning to become one of those people.

“I know you’re trying, you want to bring Spider-Man back but,” Harry stopped, licking his lips in frustration, trying to form the words, “I don’t think he is coming back, Y/N. He’s...the one doing all of this, don’t you see?” He finally spoke the words that made you cringe.

“It’s not Spider-Man, it’s…” You trail off as tears form in your eyes as Harry continued to hold you still, swallowing the large pill stuck in your throat, “It’s just not him. I know for a fact that this isn’t Spider-Man. You have to trust me, Harry,” you told him as you felt your voice grow weaker.

Harry nodded, swiping a tear with his thumb, “I do trust you. But you have to trust me. You need a break from this,” He told you. The edges of his mouth curving to form a smile.

You knew Harry was just trying to protect you, but you couldn’t help but be annoyed at how nonchalant he was about all of this. This was your job, your career that you had chosen. Working for The Daily Bugle wasn’t exactly your dream publication, but it was a start. And you were getting really good at your job. Why couldn’t he see that?

But arguing with Harry wasn’t going to get you anywhere. If anything, it would just make him think your agitation just meant you needed even more time off. Which you didn’t, you were just agitated because Peter was making your job a living hell.

“I think I’m going to work from here tomorrow, and get this done,” You finally told him, trying your best to hide your irritation as he pulled his hands away from your face, “I’ll call the hospital in the morning to get some quotes, and then stop by my place and pick up some of my things?” You tell him, trying to ease his mind a bit, even though you were still annoyed.

You wanted to stop by your place anyway. You were running out of fresh clothes at Harry’s, and in addition, you knew you needed to get some of your notes about Peter’s plans in a safe place before Harry came snooping around. It was only a matter of time.

“How about I take you to dinner tomorrow night at that new lounge in the village?” Harry asks, pressing a gently kiss to your lips as he stands up and grabs one of his folders of paperwork from his desk.

You blink slowly, unable to process right away. You had so much going on right now, a date night was on the lowest portion of your to-do list, “Yeah. Sounds..uh, great,” You told him with a forced smile. He didn't seem to notice though.

Harry shut the door behind you, to leave you with your work again. You opened up the laptop, forgetting to X out of the video you were watching earlier. It started replaying again, and your thoughts went back to exactly how you were feeling earlier.

------

Peter tossed the bag of goods on the table. Pulling out the contents of the bag, one by one. The blasters, an older Chitauri gun, and last but certainly not least, Iron Spider. He was absolutely ready to part ways with that thing.

“This is the most powerful batch I’ve brought you so far,” Peter told Kingpin, putting a blaster on his hand and shooting it across the room, burning a hole into the wall in the blink of an eye.

Kingpin looked at the suit with a smirk, noticing it still in perfect condition, “That couldn’t have been easy to get,” He remarked, holding the suit in his hand to examine it.

“Nope. And the next heist I’m doing is going to be worse, so I’m gonna need an advance,” Peter answered back, folding his arms in front of his chest. He looked around the room, it was just him and Kingpin, surprisingly.

“Do you have any idea what this suit can do?” Kingpin asked, but it was more of him telling Peter. He looked down at it in awe, looking at the iron mask that came with it.

Of course Peter knew, he thought to himself. He wore it. He was in that thing when he died, and came back to life. He defeated Thanos in that stupid suit. He even witnessed Tony Stark, the man who made the suit for him, die while he was wearing it.

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Peter answered bluntly. He looked unamused when Kingpin shot him a menancing glare, “Anyway, I’ll take my money when you’re done fucking that stupid suit with your eyes,” He told him flatly.

Kingpin glared furiously at him, shocked that he was talking to him in such a manor, “I’ll give you 150k for the suit, 25k for the rest of it. I’ll give you 5k in advance if you can get the product here in three days,” He told him, staring down at the suit.

“Whatever, not the first time you fucked me over,” Peter scoffed at him. Money was money and he just wanted to get rid of the suit, “Whose buying this trash anyway?” He finally asked.

“New guy,” Kingpin answered, handing the suit over to his subordinate to put it in storage until it was sold, “Never met him, he just wires the money and we drop it off at his shipping station on the loading docks,” He answers Peter flatly, without even looking him in the eye.

Peter wrinkled his nose as his other peers walk over with his money waiting for him. He wasn’t in the mood to talk, he just wanted his money, maybe a drink, and to go home. Typically, he’d ask what this new guy was doing with it, but honestly, who cares. It’s not like Peter was doing any better when he was Spider-Man.

He grabbed the briefcase, tucking it under his arm. He didn’t thank Kingpin because, why would he? All Peter wanted was his money and to get the hell out of this shithole.

“That damn reporter!” Someone shouted, barging into the basement. It startled Peter, making him jump as he and Kingpin saw the guy running towards them holding a copy of The Daily Bugle, “She’s saying the hospital and Stark are connected,” He screamed, slamming a copy of the paper onto the table.

Peter looked and saw your name on the byline. Tensing his jaw, he folded his arms as he took a step back, “Well, they are,” He answered wisely.

“Shut up,” Kingpin lashed out at him, staring down at the paper as he read the first few paragraphs of the article on the cover of the paper.

New York Medical Center has fallen as the most recent victim in the recent burglaries that have been taking place across the city. The hospital’s laboratory was targeted, having over $3 million in supplies stolen. Supplies including radiation injections, several DNA kits, and other drugs such as oxycodone were taken from the lab.

Police have yet to comment on whether or not this robbery is linked with the recent ones that had taken place over at Stark Tower, but a recent matchbook from “The Devil’s Pin” bar was discovered at the hospital. Possibly making these two in fact, a connection to a possible mob heist.

“Who’s the fucking moron who dropped the matchbook in the hospital, huh?” Kingpin shouted, flinging the newspaper across the room with fury. He looked over at the two men who participated in the heist, staring at each other with terror.

He walked around as more people filled the room. Peter inhaled sharply, just wanting to get the hell out of here, “Can I go the fuck home? I wasn’t even a part of this hospital shit,” he told the group.

“Weren’t you the one we asked to take care of her to begin with?” Kingpin asked, walking closer to Peter with his cane in hand, “You call this taking care of her?” He asked.

Kingpin raised his cane over his head and brought it down hard onto Peter’s back, causing Peter to hit the floor instantly. He cussed as the pain stung throughout his body, trying to get back up slowly.

“I ought to kill you right now for getting us into this mess,” Kingpin said, pointing his cane directly underneath Peter’s chin.

Peter sat up a little more, his healing powers coming in stronger than he had thought as he felt himself get some of his strength back.

He wasn’t afraid of Kingpin. He wasn’t even afraid of dying at this point. He could take Kingpin and all of these guys out right now in a matter of seconds if he wanted to.

He just didn’t want to.

“If you want to kill me, then do it,” Peter groaned out, standing back up on his feet, “But you need me. I’m the only one who can get in Stark Tower without setting off alarms and get you your product. So if you want to kill me, kill me. But let’s be honest Fisk, I’m the best you got,” he spat at him.

Kingpin looked at Peter with thoughts running through his head. He looked back down at his cane, and then back again at Peter.

“Yes, I suppose you are a good resource. And it would be a shame to waste you,” Kingpin answered, his back towards Peter as he walked towards the group, “So let’s call this next task a punishment to clean up this mess you started,” He said, pointing towards two of the other guys that Peter knew were involved in the hospital robbery.

Kingpin handed the blasters Peter had stolen for him over to the two guys, pivoting back towards Peter, “Since you three screwed up, you three fix it,” he answered, taking Peter’s briefcase off of the floor, “Get rid of her, for good this time,” he said as he walked away, slamming the basement door shut on the three of them.

------

You look at the time on your phone and realize it’s already 6 PM. You promised Harry you’d meet him at the lounge for dinner by 7, which only gave you about an hour to head back to your apartment to grab some of your things.

Barging through your front door, you almost let out a sigh of relief. You hadn’t been home in about two weeks, and sometimes with Harry, it felt a bit suffocating. You missed having your apartment to yourself. It was much smaller in comparison to Harry’s penthouse, but, it was yours.

You grabbed some fresh clothes, stuffing them into your bag as you selected your favorite cocktail dress to change into before you went to meet up with Harry for your date along with a matching pair of heels. Maybe Harry was right, and a night out would be a decent enough distraction. At least for one night.

Taking your notebook with all of Peter’s blueprints and secrets in it, you figured you had enough notes at this point where you didn’t need it right now. You went in between your floorboards where you kept a bunch of things that confirmed your connection with Peter. Evidence, if you will.

Lifting the floorboards up, you stuck the notebook beside your favorite framed photograph of you and Peter. It was one of you both when you went to Coney Island on a school trip. You remembered you and Peter laughing as Ned got sick on Cyclone and MJ refused to go on any of the rides. But she took that photo of you and Peter. You brushed your thumb against the frame, letting all of the memories flood back to you. You turned your head away from it as you slid the floorboard back into place.

After changing into your cocktail dress, you heard your phone ring from the other room. It was probably Harry wondering if you caught the subway you told him you were going to take to meet him. He was already assuming you’d be late, you figured.

Glancing down at your phone, you didn't recognize the number. But Source had told you that he wouldn’t be contacting you for a while. No way this was him?

“Hello?” You answered the phone, continuing to pack your belongings in your bag. Your heels were beginning to make it a little more difficult to walk around, so you moved slowly around the apartment, making sure you had everything you wanted before you went back to Harry’s.

“Get out of there. Now,” The deep, dark voice said on the other line, “We got an alert that they are on their way to you, and they aren’t happy,” They said.

And then they hung up. That’s all you had was a short warning before there was a banging at the door. It was already too late. You run towards your drawer where you kept your stronger taser gun, and grabbed it.

You heard the door beginning to rattle, and there was no time left to leave. The only thing you could do was hide. But these guys were professionals, and just hiding in a closet was going to be the first place they would check.

Your apartment was a tiny one bedroom, and the hiding options were very limited. In the pinch you were in, you opted towards the fire escape. Crawling as close to the edge, and away from the window as possible.Your taser clutched in your hand as tightly as humanly possibly.

Placing your hand over your mouth, you turned your taser on when you heard the voices enter your apartment. They shined a flashlight into the living room and you could see the light being cast against the fire escape.

“Not in here,” one man with a deep voice said. You heard them stomping around with their boots as they made their way from room to room, “Do we even know if she lives here right now?”

“I don’t think she’s here,” someone said, a voice that you recognized.

Peter’s voice.

Your eyes grew as you heard his voice. Sounding so matter-of-fact as the flashlights scurried throughout your apartment. He came to kill you, that’s why Source was warning you to run.

Peter walked around your apartment, looking at the things that you had left around your place. No photographs, which seemed so unlike you. He remembered your old room, how you had Polaroid pictures of him, MJ, Ned, even Flash covering your wall. He remembered all the decals of quotes about friendship you had under each and every picture. He even remembered the particular quote you had underneath a photo of the two of you.

You were the one who got him into photography in the first place so it didn’t feel like you without photographs of you and your friends and your family. But Peter changed a lot, so he wouldn’t be surprised at all if you did as well.

“What makes you think that, Delaney?” the other one asked Peter, stepping into the bedroom. He pointed at the closet, noticing the clothes have been rummaged through.

“I think he’s trying to get out of this again, what’s up with you and this reporter?” the opposing one said, pointing at Peter. He gave him a shove against his chest, “Do you know her?!”

Peter wasn’t going to take anything from these two morons and shoved him right back, forgetting how strong he actually was and pushed him into the kitchen table, “No, I don’t fucking know her. I just don’t think she’s here,” he answered back.

The blonde guy didn’t like Peter’s aggression and wrapped Peter in a chokehold, pulling him backward to knock him off balance, “You know something we don’t there, Tony?” He asked him in a calm voice.

You grabbed your taser and unlocked it. Staying as quiet as you possibly could, you saw a good shot of the bigger guy who Peter knocked over still trying to get himself back up. While Peter and the blonde guy were squabbling you took a deep breath before pulling the trigger.

Aiming directly at him, you hoped that you were in a good enough range that it would attach to him. You squeezed the trigger gently, setting it off as the electric current ran a wire, clipping onto his neck.

You let out a sigh of relief as you unclipped the wire, watching him jolt and yell as he fell back onto the floor. The blonde guy threw Peter down, his eyes now on you as you stood still on the fire escape.

“And you said she wasn’t home,” he said as he smiled in your direction. He pulled the blaster out of his belt, and slid it onto his wrist, never taking his eyes off of you.

Recharging your taser, you tried to shoot at him, but he wasn’t close enough. Instead, it landed on the ground, right in front of Peter’s feet. You swallowed thickly, feeling a large lump forming in your throat.

I will not die today, you said to yourself as he took a step towards you with the blaster in his hand.

You looked over at Peter, dead in the eyes as he looked at the blonde guy walking towards you. He saw the look in your eyes, begging for him to help you. Begging for some sort of assistance. To become Spider-Man again and help you.

“I guess you’re not here looking for me to autograph your newspaper,” you told the blonde in a snarky tone, leaning up against the fire escape railing. You were trying your best to keep your composure, but on the inside, you were terrified.

He pointed the blaster right at you, “We gave you a warning, and you didn’t listen,” he reminded you, taking another step.

“Yeah, because I love listening to mobsters telling me how to do my job,” you leaned against the railing, with nowhere else to go but down. You took a glance at the height you were at and were beginning to regret taking the apartment on the twelfth floor.

The blonde guy had enough of you, and fired the blaster towards your foot. Your head hit the railing as you fell to the floor, your eyes still on Peter who wasn’t far behind him.

“I swear, I should’ve killed you instantly,” he told you as he stared down at you, groaning on the metal of the fire escape.

Peter froze, feeling his chest tighten…

“Karen, activate instant kill!”

All different types of armed creatures, coming after Peter. His iron arms and legs helping him out as he clawed his way through. Peter continued to web them up and fight, his abilities amplified in a way he never felt before. He observed limbs being torn off, and what he suspected was blood hit his face. He was killing, wasn’t he?

They weren’t human. But they were living, breathing things, weren’t they? They were beings and Peter was..killing them. Even if it was with the help of his suit, he still initiated it. He made the call to kill. He was the one responsible for ending their lives, regardless of whether or not they were attacking him.

He was the one who ended all of their lives. He pulled the trigger. Something he never done before...

“Ugh, I don’t got this! Help!”

Peter lunged after the blonde guy. He grabbed him by his scalp and brought his forehead down onto the railing of the fire escape. Blood sprayed out from the top of his head as Peter repeated his actions. You laid there motionless and in pain, trying to call for Peter to stop, but you could barely get your words out.

You watched as Peter took the blonde and pummeled him over and onto the ground. You tried screaming out for Peter, but still nothing. You were able to pick yourself back up as Peter pinned him down. He removed his blaster from his hand, and tossed it to the side.

“I knew it. I fucking knew it, you lying shit!” the blonde shouted at Peter. You looked over and saw someone you didn’t recognize anymore. Whoever that was, was no longer Peter, any hint of him that remained was gone now in this moment.

Peter screamed in his face before punching him right in his jaw. You could see the blood spurting out from his mouth as he kept punching. You stood there frozen, completely terrified as you watched Peter refusing to get off him.

You heard him gurgling over Peter’s wails between punches. There was already so much blood, and he was choking on it. Peter wasn’t even aware of his own strength, you thought. The sounds coming out of the both of them were some of the most unsettling sounds you’ve ever heard. Especially coming from Peter.

Finally feeling yourself coming back from the blast, you moved as quickly as you could over towards them. You pulled on Peter’s shoulders, trying to move him off of him, but he was too strong.

“Peter! Stop it! Stop, Peter!” you shout at him, realizing you called him by his full name in front of these guys.

But Peter took a sharp breath before giving him one last hit, right in his face, where you finally got a good look at him. A knot tied around your stomach when you realize exactly what Peter had done.

You managed to pull Peter off of him finally. His breathing was ragged and you could have sworn he was crying, he’d never tell you but, you could definitely hear it in his voice as he tried catching his breath. There was blood all over his knuckles, all over the metal, and his hair was drenched in his own sweat.

Both you and Peter stared down silently at the lifeless body, your hand on his shoulder as he managed to stand back up, “Fuck,” you breathed out, not sure of what you should or shouldn’t say right now. Maybe silence was the best way to go.

Peter leaned over the railing, beginning to empty his gut over the edge and onto the ground floor. You just stood there, completely helpless until you realized the two of you weren’t alone. You pivoted your head to turn back towards your apartment only to see the body was missing.

Just great, you thought.

“We need to call somebody,” You finally suggest, looking down at the body. You felt your stomach turning like Peter’s, wincing at the body that couldn’t stare back at you because it’s face was entirely deformed.

“Get out of here,” Peter finally spoke, wiping his face as he stared down at the body, “Don’t ever look for me again. Just get out of here,” he said, reaching down to pick him up.

You felt tears beginning to prick your eyes, noticing every hair was sticking up on Peter’s arms and neck, “No. Let me help you, I can figure this out,” you told him, hearing your voice quivering with fear.

“Don’t you fucking get it, Y/N?! I don’t want your help, I never asked! And because of you, look!” He practically screamed as he pointed towards the dead body lying beneath them, “So stay the fuck out of my life. I am not. Him. Anymore. Do you understand? I came here to kill you, Y/N!” He shouted.

You shook your head, swallowing what he told you harshly, “But you wouldn’t have done it,” You tried to say, but you weren’t even sure if that was the truth anymore.

“Yes it is. I am not your fucking Spider-Man anymore! I killed him just like I killed him, okay? Just like I killed Tony, so knock if off.” he screamed, now getting in your face.

The only thing you could do was nod your head. With Peter inches away from your face, venom in his eyes, and now, with a taste of blood; you weren’t sure how to answer other than to just agree with him. You were afraid. And Peter was no match for your taser gun. You hoped deep down, he wouldn’t actually hurt you. But you also believed at one point Peter wouldn’t hurt anybody. Maybe this meant you really needed to let go of Peter once and for all.

“Good,” Peter answered as he lifted the body over his head. He stood on the railing, and you finally saw his web shooter attached to his wrist, “Because I will not hesitate to kill you if you don’t,” he said before springing up to the next high-rise.

------

Peter stood on the loading dock with the human-sized garbage bag sitting by his feet. He stared down at the bag, gritting his teeth together with anger. Not even angry that he killed him, he knew it was only a matter of time before he had to since beginning to work for Kingpin.

No, he was angry that you made him do it. If it weren’t for you, he’d be able to get away with most of the stuff he did. Was he proud of stealing Stark’s technology for who knows what? No, but he wasn’t exactly proud of killing Tony either.

If it weren’t for you, he wouldn’t have been forced to go to your place and try and kill you to begin with. But you were still alive, because of Peter. And now, that was another thing Peter had to deal with now. He killed one of his own, and you were left alive. There was no way Kingpin was going to let Peter go scot free now.

Why the fuck did he even save you? It was as if something had come over him, and he had to kill this guy to make sure you could live another day. Even if that meant risking Peter’s now. No, he didn’t want you dead, but he also didn’t want you around him either. He needed you out of his life, and was willing to do anything to push you out. But you continued to make his life worse.

The police were already on the scene due to one of your neighbors calling about a noise issue. There weren’t any bodies for them to look at. There wasn’t even blood on the scene. Peter assumed you went back and cleaned up after him before the cops showed up, but he wasn’t sure how you snuck around them so quickly.

It was only a matter of time before Peter would see a report in The Daily Bugle that you had written, calling it another break-in, poking your nose where it didn’t belong, no matter how many countless times Peter had asked you to stop. You would never quit, and he hated it.

He was done saving you. He was done saving himself. Whatever happened, happened. If Kingpin found him and killed him, so be it. Maybe he was finally ready to die.

Shoving a few more rocks into the back to make sure it would go all the way down, Peter tied a knot on the end of the bag. He really was dead, Peter noted. His skin was cold and hard, and his eyes stared at Peter with total emptiness.

Peter swallowed, picking the body up in one swift motion. He inhaled sharply as he heaved the body into the river, the excess water splashing up and hitting Peter at his ankles as soon as it hit the water.

He stayed until the bag sank down, until he couldn’t see it anymore. It was almost as if the Peter you once knew was in the bag with him, sinking down to the very bottom of the river, and the new Peter could no longer do anything to try and save them, they were cold, hard, and dead.

Chapter Four

#tom holland #peter parker #spider-man #tom holland x reader #peter parker x reader #dark! peter parker #peter parker x you #tom holland imagine #spiderman x reader #spiderman #far from home

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writingonjorvik · 5 years

Text

Can We Discuss A New Housing System?

Ok, so if you remember playing SSO around the launch of Jorvik City, you know we’ve been teased for a proper housing system for a while now. Some of you may still have some furniture (arguable) in your inventories and closets like myself. It’s also one of the most popular feature requests right now from players, as least in my polls. But what would an SSO housing system even look like? And how could it be blended into the existing story.

So, obviously, I have some ideas on that, and I going to try blending it into the story, because I think having a “home instance” house kinda situation could be a good way to deliver background story information (like retcons to characters and just passive character building). However, there are a lot of mechanics involved too, so I’ll strive to write about all parts of this equally. And also, this is a HUGE suggestion, but I figure I’d write it out in its fullest so I can get more feedback on the idea too.

I have, however, had some thoughts on the actual questline for this, so I’m going to dabble with writing those as well. They’ll be indented quotes to keep it clear. But I want to have the story itself lead, so I’ll start with quotes and expand after into the individual ideas as they show up. So here we go.

I imagine you’d get a general quest notification for this to start, just on your map. I’m going to put it at level 18 unlock, or after the service at Doyle’s Abbey. I think this makes a good late game initiative, and a project to work on while waiting on quests, since you do also have your current home stable as a temporary housing space.

Baroness: Player, I have a task for you of the utmost importance.

Quest Accept

Good! I expected nothing less from you. Now, to the matter at hand. I own a small piece of land that recently has...seen less use. Have you heard of Horse Island? It’s a lovely place. Originally it had been opened to help local stables in Jorvik keep their horses active during the off-seasons when many of our campers go home.

However, when talented craftsmen John started to move to Jorvik, many stableowners hired him to update their own barns. You may have as well. While I certainly appreciate his work with my stables here, I have to admit that his arrival was effectively the closure of Horse Island.

And that’s the problem. I can’t leave the island alone as is. There are a number of structures there and I would like to reopen it as a park. Or I have another offer for you.

Quest End.

Baroness: Would you like to hear my offer, Player?

Quest Accept

My family and I owe a great deal to you. You’ve been beyond helpful here at my vineyard and with my son’s stables, you’ve been...discrete about my ex-husband, and you brought my grandson home. Some might even consider these deeds exemplary. My title as a Baroness may be more formal than my ancestors, but I can recognize a hero of Jorvik when I see one.

It’s not an easy gift, but I would like to gift Horse Island to you. However, if you accept this gift, then there are some requirements you’ll have to meet to live there, much less your horses. Like I said, the island has been all but abandoned and will need some serious repairs before anyone can live there safely.

Quest End.

Baroness: Are you interested?

Quest Accept

Wonderful. Then the deed is yours. I have a ferry chartered for you and an associate to head to Horse Island to begin repairs. You’ll find them in New Hillcrest.

Quest End.

(Item Get: Island Deed)

Now, this doesn’t mean you’ve unlocked Horse Island as a home stable yet, but you do own it. This would unlock a first stage of the housing process, where it’s pretty much unusable outside of building it. Your current home stable would still be your home stable until it reaches “Stage Two” so to speak, but you have access to to Horse Island moving forward as a visitable and intractable map.

I’ve made up an NPC for this for fun, but they’re basically going to become your bookkeeper for the island, and the hub for updates, info boards, and quests on expanding it. Their name is Aiden (more or less a nod to Aideen and there’s good reason once we get into later stages), a fem-butch presenting young person who kinda doubles as an Isabelle for your island and a construction worker until you bring on John (if you want to). They have a Clydesdale (I like the dapple rose grey for them) named Amber.

Upon arriving in New Hillcrest:

Aiden: Oh, you must be Player. The Baroness told me you were coming. Me? I’m Aiden. I’ll be helping you get Horse Island back on its hooves.

Player 1: Nice to meet you. What do you know about Horse Island?

Player 2: Huh, you’re a little young for contractor.

Aiden: You won’t meet anyone who knows Horse Island better than me. It’s why the Baroness asked me to help. My parents used to work there, taking care of horses. Grew up on the island myself. I learned everything I know from them, plus a double major in college. If anyone can help you get this island back to a living condition, it’s me.

You ready to get going?

Quest Accept

Aiden: Good, let’s get a move on.

Quest End.

At this point, you actually reach the island. It’ll start with the original island design, a tropical/Hawaii style island (can we discuss Jorvik’s biodiversity later, actually), though this is ideally something that you’ll be able to change. If it doesn’t start with this design, I think it should be an optional biome as a reference for long term players from when Horse Island was around before.

At release of it, I’d think Horse Island should just be one island, but eventually I think adding additional smaller islands would be a good way to continue expanding the island and adding options to its development, while still keeping the theme of the overall island.

The main island has three parts: a small village kinda area with a broken down barn and buildings, three big paddocks, and a trail area. If this carries over functionality from the current home stable system, then this would be a great way to have private trail rides/races you could make, with each biome having a slightly different layout of the three main areas, but we haven’t gotten to that yet.

After you arrive, there’s a ferry point you can unlock that will rotate to South Hoof and New Hillcrest (really like the ferry system and I think it should be expanded), as well as a trailer/boat to transport back to Jorvik. On arrival, there’s not a lot you can do outside of explore, though it should be incredibly difficult since the island is incredibly damaged and hasn’t been maintained.

After arrival, Aiden will wait for you by the ferry to continue the quests.

Aiden: Aideen, the place has seen better days. Sad to see it like this. But, no time like the present. We’d better get to work. Well, Player, you’re in charge here. Want to scout out the damage?

Quest Accept

Aiden: Alright, follow me.

Aiden leads on a loop around the island to the major points. Following dialogue should be overlayed as you reach each location to keep the ride going.

Aiden: The beaches used to pretty open. There are other islands around here too. Maybe once we get things set up, I can look into some boats to visit other islands. Long ways off though.

Ah, this forest used to be so fun to ride through. I remember having friends over and building races through the woods together. Maybe we can get it cleaned up and open it again for you and your friends.

These paddocks need a lot of work. Don’t worry though. Once we can get them patched back up, they can hold, ten, twenty horses at a time. We can start small and build them out.

This place used to be filled with life. My parents and I used to live over there. Might be a good idea to get some cabins set up first. I’m fine camping until we do though. Supposing you’re fine headed back to mainland for some food.

With just you here, I don’t think we’d need a lot of shops. Same time, I’d like to see folks living here again. Maybe a few shops, open the place for tourists. That is, if you don’t mind people in your backyard.

That’s the biggest building on the island. I know it’s not mansion, but it should be a comfortable lodge once we finish with it. Nice place to hang your hat at least.

Last stop. This barn is going to need a lot of work. Come on, let’s clear out a stall for Amber and Player’s Horse.”

Quest End.

At this point, the farm opens up a lot of quests Rescue Ranch style, where you can pick up to-do’s from Aiden and then go do them like dailies. Some should be limited to make it feel like you’re making progress over a few days, but until you get to Stage Two of the island, I definitely think you should be able to grind through some smaller quests to make the island livable relatively easily.

I do also really like the idea of adding a Harvest Moon-esque gifting system for foods. I think this could be a good way to test a potential trading system while also delivering on more character development and a use for food. It’ll work on the same kind of system as Harvest Moon, where NPCs have favorite foods and hated foods, but it’ll mark in your journal as you go which is which. Giving Aiden food they like will reset daily tasks for the island as well as build your relationship with them. Eventually once the island is in a later stage, other NPCs can come visit and you can gift them foods too to get bonus dialogue and quests.

The first to-do you get is to go into the stable and clear out two stalls. Aiden will idle around the stable, but each time you interact with something in the stable, they’ll move to the next location and work on hammering walls or sweeping as you go until the to-do is done. Finishing this will also open a caring location on the island.

Aiden: That’s already better. Don’t have to sleep in the rain anymore. Now, there’s a lot to do, so let’s talk about a few of the more important projects.

Quest Accept

Well, to start we need to get some houses built. One for you, one for me. I don’t mind camping, but this is Jorvik. Weather can be all over the place. Next, we need to make a space for any other horses you want to have on the island. The barn should be our next goal. I think those are two good projects to start. Come talk to me and I’ll let you know what you can do to help.

Quest End.

This is Stage One of the island. It’s about building the most basic of necessities; your house, Aiden’s house, and the barn. I think dailies should add big chunks to the progress bars, but there should also be smaller to-dos to speed up the process if you want to grind through it. There’s already going to be a lot of money sink into this island, so Stage One to-dos are either clearing spaces, repairing walls, or gathering wood from the forest (this won’t clear it). There’s no shillings or SC required, though once you’re halfway through this stage, Aiden will let you know that they’ve gotten in touch with a suppler that you can order supplies from, much like the shop for building the bridge to the Harvest Counties, to speed up construction.

At the end of Stage One, you’ll get another quest from Aiden.

Aiden: Now this is starting to feel a little more settled. It’s definitely not the island I remember. Don’t think Horse Island fits it anymore. How about giving it a new name?

Quest Accept

Prompt: Name the island using a naming thing like club naming system. If you don’t want to name it, it’ll either stay as Horse Island or as your Player’s name’s Island (i.e. Amelie Eveningstorm’s Island).

Aiden: Hm? Island Name? Yeah, I think that’ll do. Alright Player, Island Name it is. I think it’s time you can call this place home.

Quest End.

After this, you’ll get a prompt offering for you to set your home stable at your island. Once you do, it becomes your home stable permanently and all other home stables become closed (this would be cool if the stables got a small redesign after for you, but that’s minute). This ends Stage One. The island is a functional home stable. You can go in your barn, which will reflect whatever home stable upgrades you had before hand and work like the home stable does now, though the invite a friend will temporarily disabled. On your island, Aiden will offer to upgrade your stable instead of John unless you hire him later.

So, by the end of Stage One, these are the features you have unlocked:

Caring station

New home stable

Supplies shop

Ferry to South Hoof and New Hill Crest

Trailer point

Ability to rename the island

Inn/hotel (Aiden’s house)

Your house (single room)

Barn customization

House customization

Like I said, this release would mean a lot of new features. I think at least with releasing it in stages, the first/second stages can be released, and then later stages can be released to continue expanding the island. However, no small part of those features should be customization. Stage One unlocks basic customization. We’re not to biome changing yet. Right now you can update the appearance of your barn on the outside, maybe some things on the inside, the exterior of your and Aiden’s house, and the inside of your house with basic furniture. I don’t think your house should ever be that big, maybe like three rooms total, or like start with the size of Herman’s interior, then Dr. Hayden’s interior, and then move up to a two story cabin with a big first floor and a smaller room upstairs. But we’re not there yet either, just the first basic house.

Starting Stage Two:

Aiden: Alright, we’ve got the basics all here, Player. Now we need to start on getting the rest of the island open. This is going to be a lot more work, and there are some permits that we’ll need to pick up, so you may want to pick up a day job while we’re at it. And dinner too. Ready to hear the damage?

Quest Accept

There are three big areas on the island. The village here needs to be restored. I’ll let you decide what buildings you want to put up, but I think opening a few shops and having some private classes eventually might be a good start from going in the black on running this place. Yeah, you’re going to need to pay me eventually to keep working you know. I’m kidding. I’ve got room and board. But why don’t we start with some shops here. Could get some tack sold for your horses, clothes with your name all over it, and food for the horses.

Next is the forest area. There are plenty of good trails in the area, we just need to get them opened up again. After that, I can build some jumps for you and we can set up courses to train the horses. Good idea to keep them active. I’m no professional like yourself, but I could probably lend a hand there. Or you can use the trails we make to ride with rides. Your call, after we finish.

Then there are the paddocks. We have a small one here in the village, but I’d like to have that for training. No, I want to fix up the bigger ones down the path a bit. Good place to let the horses have some time outside. Like I said, let’s start small and get all of the paddocks fixed up enough to have ten or so horses in there first, then we can talk about expanding them for more.

There are a few other odds and ends that could use some work. The beach could use some cleaning up. If you do, we can expand the docks for more tourists to come visit, or to come practice their riding here if you still want to do lessons. Need to hire someone for that. You’ll also be able to visit some of our island neighbors if you like. Might be a good change of pace, or you’ll get some inspirations.

Oh, and I have some ideas on how to expand your house. Let me know if you want to make it bigger.

Quest End.

At which point, Stage Two starts and all of these dailies and to-dos become options to start working on. Now, it should be important to say that I think the shilling limit should be removed because any projects moving forward need a “permit” to start. It’s basically a shilling sink to give more purpose to collecting them in game (still with Star Coin options, but definitely with shilling options too), though they would start low (1,000 shillings for the food stall as an example) and build up to higher prices based on the benefits. So things like the food stall and expanding the docks to make your island visitable will be relatively cheap, but things where you can make money, like from the training options and stores, will be a little more because you get a return on them. After you buy a permit, you’ll get dailies and to-dos to actually build it, ranging from a day to a week to build without buying extra supplies.

Now, let’s dive into some of these features. Shops I think should sell very basic tack and clothing, but I do think a basic icon system would be great where you can generate an icon (pick a background, foreground, and a symbol with your island name beneath it from a list of presets). Other players should be able to come to your island and buy these too, which is one of the ways you can make money back, as any part of the shillings, and even Star Coins, you make from people buying on your stores should come back to you. I think this balances out with how many players there are playing SSO, but it could always use fine-tuning to decide what that ratio is.

The island would also have some basic customization, like preset locations where you could slot in different styles of buildings, benches, plants, so on. I don’t think a full drag and drop system would work with SSO on a large scale, maybe just in your house, but I do think there should be some options you can put in places to make it feel customized, or on a basic grid system.

Aiden will train your horses (a max of five a day, randomly selected from non-maxed horses) for about a 1000 exp a day once you restore the forest area. Additionally, you’ll unlock a race that you can build. I think this should be pretty simple, with preset slots where you can put in jumps and turns along an existing course and set of pathways. The more jumps you buy, either in quantity or quality, and put in, the more exp you get from the race. Additionally, other players visiting your island can pay shillings to get that exp themselves for their horses. Another way to make money. The race would also be open for free to just go on the leaderboards, where you could optionally put in a sum of money every day for the winner for people who pay to enter.

Additionally, once you get the forest restored, Aiden will also offer to restore the paddock in town to make dressage, jumping, or western events which can be set up much the same way. You can buy extra course boards to swap out all three tracks and make them available like the cross-country tracks as well, or maybe build another paddock for it.

The horse paddocks are really just for a fan-favorite request, having open paddocks to see all your horses. There are three paddocks on the island to start, and once they’re repaired you can have ten horses in each, and then twenty once you expand them. I imagine that there could be a number of pathing loops you could set your horses on, and they’ll just walk around or stand in the paddocks on those preset tracks to make it look a little more active. It would be cool too if any horses not in your stables would be rotated into the paddocks at random every day.

Beach repair is small and should be pretty quick. It opens up letting people visit you and you to visit other islands with another dock. That’s about it. I’m debating whether you should be able to see other people on your island if it’s a random person visiting you, but eh. Guess that’s up in the air. It may have to be mandatory because of systems.

And making the house bigger I already covered, so I’ll skip it for now.

So, by the end of Stage Two, you should have these features:

Caring station

New home stable

Supplies shop

Ferry to South Hoof and New Hill Crest

Trailer point

Ability to rename the island

Inn/hotel (Aiden’s house)

Your house (double room)

Barn customization

House customization

Village customization

Race maker

Horse food stand

Cafe

Tack shop

Clothing shop

Training paddock

Expanded docks

Horse paddocks

Horse trainer (Aiden)

It’s also at this point that some NPCs will start to come visit you and that gifting system will open up further.

Now, Stage Three:

Aiden: This place has really come back to life. Can’t believe how much it’s changed. Thanks, Player, for letting me be a part of it. Means a lot.

From here on out, the projects I got for you are just to make Island Name better. Add some ease of access for you and our guests. Let me know when you want to discuss the details.

Quest Accept.

Great! Well, we could use a vet for starters. No one’s hurt, but hate to see something happen and not be able to handle it. Also, with you working all day, it would be nice to have another hand taking care of the horses. I know Maya’s offered to help. Maybe make it more permanent than what she does now. Oh, and someone to train the horses better. I don’t mind working a few every day, but I’m not a professional. Might be able to run things faster if we had someone here.

If you don’t mind, I’d like to build a space for myself. I know it’s not my island, but I’d appreciate a space. I can’t be here running the place all the time, so a garden or something to unwind would be nice. What do you mean that’s still work?

Oh, I saw this spot on the back end of the island. Might be a good training spot for your druid business. Yeah, I know about that. Don’t worry, stays on the island.

I got another blueprint for your house too, so let me know if you want to add anything else.

Let me know when you’re ready to get started.

Quest End.

Stage Three is about building convenient functionality on the island. Most of these are straight forward. You get a vet, an upgraded version of Stable Care (either cheaper, bigger blocks of time, or you can buy with shillings, if not just permanently hire Maya), and there’s a secret area only you and people in your party can enter, more or less to be used for a training area with druid magic, supposing something like a mastery system was added, but it could also just be used to expand existing druid training. There could be some other easy additions like a notary for changing horse names, access to the Lifetime store, and a riding club point.

There was some discussion in the WOJ Discord about changing the daily care system so that instead of constantly having to care for your horses, you build bond with your horse while leveling them, and it’s permanently at max after that as a meter of how close you are instead of health. If that’s the case, I think Maya could still be there to increase bond for you, supposing you could hire a trainer separately to skip levels, maybe bond is related to caring for the horse, which Maya would handle? I dunno. This system is designed around the system as is.

The build for Aiden is just to be nice. There’s no bonus for it, it just builds an area of Aiden.

At the end of Stage Three, you’ll have:

Caring station

New home stable

Supplies shop

Ferry to South Hoof and New Hill Crest

Trailer point

Ability to rename the island

Inn/hotel (Aiden’s house)

Your house (second story)

Barn customization

House customization

Village customization

Race maker

Horse food stand

Cafe

Tack shop

Clothing shop

Training paddock

Expanded docks

Horse paddocks

Horse trainer (Aiden & regular trainer)

Vet

Updated Stable Care

New area for Aiden

Secret druid space

Notary

Access to Lifetime store

Riding Club Master

Stage Four is kinda my last full stage idea and it focused on opening the island up to future expansions easily by adding magic options. I think crafting would go hand in hand with SSO, and particularly this entire system. Further stages could be able adding functionality to that kind of system, like opening gardens to farming supplies for crafting, but for now, I’ll leave that up in the air and focus on just this last stage with what we have in game right now.

Aiden: This is turning into a real destination, isn’t it, Player? Almost magic to see how much this place has changed since we started on it. Hey, speaking of magic, I have an idea.

Quest Accept

Aiden: Listen, I know you and your friends are, uh, magical. I mean, this whole island gives you away, if you ask me, but I’ve also seen your friends around. And I know about the druids. Not going to tell or anything, but I want to help if I can with that business. Seems important.

Now, what if we brought some of that here to Island Name. Might help set us apart. I can cover up any of it that matters to our guests, like that secret space we have already, but maybe we could expand it a little for your friends. Use it to change up the island, add some more space. Up to you. Let me know if you want to get started.

Quest End.

Stage Four adds a lot of magic to the island, and it also is the ground work for future updates. It’s finally at Stage Four we get that biome changer I talked about, as well as the option to form more islands, which you can add more functions to later. I think a lot of druid things can be added at this point, like portals to the Secret Stonering and Pandoria, as well as a magic race mode to the cross-country race like what we have in the Cloud Kingdom.

It also would be cool at this point if you could have a library you could build to reference lore material we’ve collected, which would probably be pretty useful for quests moving forward.

It feels like Evergray, Avalon, or Rhiannon should step in for this stage, if not all of them for different features to help with the magic parts. Personally, and if it’s not obvious by the podcast, I really like these three characters for building the druids out as an order, and I think this would be a good way to develop some of the druids’ recovery stage, as well as our powers as the PC.

In total, the features Stage Four would end with are:

Caring station

New home stable

Supplies shop

Ferry to South Hoof and New Hill Crest

Trailer point

Ability to rename the island

Inn/hotel (Aiden’s house)

Your house (second story)

Barn customization

House customization

Village customization

Race maker

Horse food stand

Cafe

Tack shop

Clothing shop

Training paddock

Expanded docks

Horse paddocks

Horse trainer (Aiden & regular trainer)

Vet

Updated Stable Care

New area for Aiden

Secret druid space

Notary

Access to Lifetime store

Riding Club Master

Portals

Library

Biome changer

Island additions

Magic race mode

Connections to main story (optional)

And that’s...everything for now, I think? That’s a lot, but this feature would be massive and I wanted to go really in depth with it even if I couldn’t make graphics this time around like with the masteries. I think it’s still really important that SSO is combating price bloat in the game, and this might be a good way to change that up by giving shillings more of a use. Generally, I wanted to design it around the ideas of end game content for players looking for a reason to get on SSO more, and also to create more player made content to continue that idea.

So, yeah. What are y’all’s thoughts on a system like this?

#sso #star stable #starstable #star stable online #starstableonline #woj analysis

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saltoftheao3 · 5 years

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[1/6 (Sorry!)] Lately I've seen posts in the vein of "Don't leave unsolicited concrit that's just called being an asshole" and that culture is a bit puzzling to me. Personally, I write long comments. Rarely under 100 words, usually 400-1500 (I hit the AO3 character limit all the time), almost always after re-reading the work (I read a lot on my phone but re-access the fics on my laptop for comments). I talk about my reaction to the story, gush about the ship, quote fave parts, all that stuff.

[2/6] As a writer myself, I also pay a lot of attention to people’s style and the technical aspects, and this is what I sometimes give concrit-like opinions about. Not story choices or headcanons, not random typos or anything, but I might say “I had a bit of a hard time following who was saying which lines in this section” or “the changing tenses in this part threw me off the loop for a bit”. I try to frame those things as personal opinions and say it’s up to the author if they want to -

[3/6] heed the advice or not. I’m not advocating the “tough love” type of feedback, either. At 14 I was targeted by some random adult in dA who methodically ripped apart everything I uploaded for months. I responded politely but I was pretty upset by her constant barraging disguised as helpful advice. (I just went to see her profile and interestingly she hasn’t been active at all since I eventually blocked her) So I know that the concept of concrit absolutely can be abused and how that feels.

[4/6]But in the past months I’ve seen a lot of people say that even 1-2 slightly critical sentences in a 1000+ word comment invalidates all the positives and “just leaves a sour taste”. Obviously I can’t say what people do or don’t feel but…I was honestly surprised by this mindset. I always assumed that when I write “Let me hear your thoughts” on my notes, it means “tell me what’s good and what’s bad”. Now I feel a bit weird about the positive comments I have - are they holding something back?

[5/6] Thing is, what made me quit writing for 5 years was not crushing feedback, but deafening silence. If I could choose between someone honestly engaging with my work, including its shortcomings, and not saying anything at all, I will take the criticism any day. I feel that explicitly asking for concrit deters the keysmashers and the cute one-line commenters, so I haven’t done that (I already say I welcome pretty much all feedback in my profile, but it seems no one reads those in AO3).

[6/6] Of course feedback is subjective and readers have no way of knowing what the author was thinking. BUT, I’d like to think readers are intelligent humans whose subjective views CAN be helpful. This is not a simple issue, and I’ll probably be even more careful about commenting in the future, but I simply can’t agree with posts that pretend there is zero difference between tearing a story apart and mentioning one suggestion in an essay of praise. (Some PM system in AO3 would be great tho)

First of all, thank you for your very thoughtful and well-phrased ask, dear anon. I always fear that i don’t do that kind of ask justice but i’ll try my best, sorry for the time it has taken me.

There’s been very different arguments in this debate, (check #the great comment debate), and i think you’re far from the only one with this opinion.

I do too think that there’s a difference between “tearing a story apart and mentioning one suggestion in an essay of praise“, as you said it, and i think the kind of feedback you described yourself as giving would be well-received by a big majority of writers.

And as I mention here and there, i think that assuming friendly intent is crucial to internet interaction, that lacks so much of the intonations and cues we use to understand what someone means.

I also sometimes fear that this entire debate leads to readers chosing not to give feedback at all, rather than risking hurting sensibilities, and well … that’s really not the point. “[C]rushing feedback” or “deafening silence“? Both are toxing to fandoms, both kill the joy in creating, but i really think there’s a lot of room to navigate in between.

What i try to do is get writers to make it a habit of specifying in the author’s notes what kind of feedback you enjoy. It seems to me the only reliable way of producing statisfactory interaction for readers and writers, to make up for the huge variety of attitudes towards fandom and feedback. Some of you may remember i’ve suggested it as an AO3 feature a long while back, but in the meantime just an author’s note with “I love all kinds of comments, long, short, criticism or not” or “Comments make me happy, but please no bashing” could do wonder to clarify things for the readership.

Also, if this can reassure you, i really don’t think your readers were holding back when they said positive things, nonnie.

Personally, when i read fanfic i just… genuinely don’t pay attention to potential flaws and weaknesses? That’s not the way i engage with the material. When reading fanfic, i’m more likely to spot gorgeous sentences, funny bits and great worldbuilding, and to try and remember them so i can tell the writer.

The more awkward or dull parts just..don’t register much, i kinda gloss over them and don’t try to actively keep them in my mind. It’s completely different when i beta-read: there i pay attention to both what i really like and what i’m indifferent towards, i’m in a very different mindset.

I don’t think that “positivity bias” makes my comments less honest.

Pffffuh, this has turned into unstructured rambling, sorry for that (but also my browser has crashed three times so i’ll just put the blame on that). Hope you continue to delight writers with long, thoughtful reviews, those are SO nice to get

#ask #the great comment debate #constructive criticism #long post

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voicesfromthelight · 5 years

Text

On Free Will, Divination, and Shifting Timelines

I’ve been thinking a lot, lately, about the relationship between free will, soul contracts, manifestation, and divination. Not so long ago, when I started doing readings professionally for other people, my spirit guides were fairly reluctant to predict the future, opting instead to focus on patterns going on in people’s present lives. The reason for this was that they were, and still are, adamant about the sanctity of free will, the power of intention, and our ability to mold our futures through them. In light of this, it is perhaps somewhat surprising that a few months ago, for reasons I can only guess at, my channelings began to include mentions of a new guide being assigned to me, whose function was specifically to help me read the future more accurately. Since then, I have noticed a gradual shift in my readings towards including more elements of divination.

The predictions that come through in readings can take a while to manifest in the lives of my clients, who generally only consult with me once or twice, and will therefore usually be given whatever information will serve them best in the long term. Sometimes, the possibility of less auspicious developments is brought up in the interest of helping a client change courses and avoid the suggested outcome. Predictions can also come with a clarification that the events are still taking shape, energetically, and therefore are more likely to change. If a prediction seems too outlandish in light of the client's current reality to be easily assimilated, but is important to be acknowledged, the guides will also sometimes provide evidence of their accuracy by alluding to future events that the client already has planned and is aware of, but I myself have not been informed of before the reading. All in all, everything that is brought through serves the purpose of helping my clients make the best possible decisions, bringing them hope in times of adversity, and healing interpersonal patterns so they can flourish.

The dynamic of readings I do for myself is somewhat different than those done for my clients, and has helped me shed some more light on the way in which free will interacts with the timelines, or trajectories for the future, we set ourselves on with each action we take. Since I talk to my guides daily, I’ve had ample chances to have their predictions confirmed, and get feedback on the shifts in my trajectories almost in real-time. In fact, lately, Salvador, Natalie, and the third, as-of-yet anonymous consciousness have taken upon themselves to regularly guide me through certain situations by describing details of events that then usually unfold over the next couple of days. They often do this in the form of quoting or summarizing conversations in advance, and addressing the ensuing emotional reality along with instructions on how to approach it from the most constructive perspective. While being on the receiving end of this phenomenon, delightful as it is, has been downright bizarre at times - as if I had somehow hacked reality - the wonderful thing about it is that it has helped me anticipate challenging situations, as well as taught me greater patience and compassion. (Perhaps some of you have seen the TV series “Good Omens," based on the work of Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, with the book of "nice and accurate prophecies" informing the characters of what is about to happen, down to bafflingly minute detail? Yes, it's a work of brilliant fiction, but that’s actually a bit what my life feels like right now.)

What then, of destiny? Are any of the events in our lives set in stone when we incarnate to this earth?

When we choose to engage in an endeavor, a relationship, an interaction, etc., it can sometimes seem as if certain things that happen have been pre-ordained. I personally believe that we are born with certain encounters that have been planned (soul contracts, if you like), patterns to work through, and purposes to fulfill - or at least something to that effect. However, our ability to create and mold our realities is generally quite broad within this framework. It is how we use this co-creative power in our lives that matters. This is where free will, the choices we make about where to direct our attention, and making decisions based on love rather than fear, come in. For better or worse, we can choose, almost at any time, to take a different path, and delay, repeat or undo elements plotted out for our life experience.

I've come to notice that the shifting of timelines apparent in my personal predictions somewhat paradoxically reinforces what the guides have always said about free will and the malleability of the future. See, when I speak to my guides about upcoming events, the information they bring through will often have both long-term and short-term dimensions to it. However, it's not always easy to tell the difference, as the channelings are filtered through the emotional energy of the moment. Certain shifts that occur in the predictions day-to-day can then seem more final or portentous than they ultimately are. But with each short-term adjustment, the outlook of the long-term trajectory, or timeline, can change. The energy of free will interacting with the world, shaping reality, is constantly in motion.

As a result of this ever-changing energetic transformation, even though the guides will inform me of the long-term trajectories of certain pursuits, the way in which the events play out sometimes seems to contradict what has been said before, only to shift back into alignment with it later on. It seems we have the ability to shift the trajectories we are on amazingly quickly, with each decision we make. The arc that we then perceive as our lives unfold is all a matter of perspective: We can measure our experiences in moments, days, weeks, etc. as we choose, kind of like following a graph showing fluctuations in the stock market over a shorter or longer period of time (if you'll pardon the humdrum comparison).

As a practical example (which must nonetheless be kept somewhat abstract to protect privacy), I recently found myself in a situation in which I was navigating a somewhat volatile relationship with both personal and professional aspects to it. The resulting dynamics were throwing me for a loop. Thus, I found myself often checking in with my guides to make sure I was approaching each development appropriately. Their advice wasn’t always what I expected it to be, nor did we always agree on what exactly was going on, but they never failed to guide me to the best possible results. They seemed to have their own explanations for the higher purpose of our collaboration, and where it was leading, which trumped any superficial changes in the relationship. They assured me all would ultimately be well.

At one point, things came to a bit of a head, and I found myself in a rather heated conflict with this person. Up until then, the guides’ advice had always been to focus on patience with a positive outlook, and to simply ignore any negativity, keeping the long-term picture in mind. But at that moment, I felt I had no choice but to stand up for myself and walk away. Over the course of the previous few days, the tone of the guides’ predictions had suddenly shifted, as if our “plans” - possibly those written into a soul contract - were being canceled, and now, they seemed to be saying, “Put an end to it. Move on.” I felt disappointed. As an empath, my personal boundaries tend to be a little mushier than they should be, and putting my foot down felt uncomfortable. However, I pushed myself, and did what needed to be done, thinking: “Well, that’s it. So much for that project. What a let-down!”

After the ensuing quarrel, I sat down to meditate, feeling sad and frustrated. I decided to spend a while praying for healing and going through the Ho’oponopono process, hoping to dissolve the conflict. As I then shifted my consciousness into channeling mode, I felt an intense physical warmth and gradually strengthening sense of well-being, as if I had more guides around me than usual. When they then came through, they informed me that everything was back on track, and I now had good things to look forward to in the collaboration again. Salvador cheered me on, saying I had learned an important lesson about how to use my anger constructively. Natalie, who has taken to opening channeling sessions with an introductory sentence that always begins with the word, “enjoy,” started this one by saying: “Enjoy studying trouble!” - the implication being that the most important lesson of the day was to understand new spiritual truths around dissolving conflict.

As it turned out, the guides were right. The honest expression of my anger triggered an energetic shift that led to a reconciliation and set us back on course.

Now, whether the guides knew this dramatic course-correction would happen all along, or I had, in fact, shifted long-term timelines with different outcomes several times, is not quite clear to me. Perhaps the frequency of my personal readings had merely created a situation in which I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. What I do know is that a very quick, unexpected shift for the better happened in the trajectory the guides were describing, after I changed my response to certain patterns in the interaction. The prayers and meditations played no small part in this energetic transformation, I think, and working with my guides helped me to understand first-hand just how powerful the process could be.

So, in conclusion, I offer you this. While it is possible to predict the probable future, especially in the short term, if we are not happy with what is being created, we should never feel powerless to shift courses, even if we feel we have to do so on a dime. What future would you like to create for yourself today? Think it, see it, feel it, create it!

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wtfranz · 6 years

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The way I see it 12/10/2017

It's been awhile since I've written something haha

Just been ruminating and sitting on some words because it just didn't feel right.

The way I see it, sometimes we do need to get in our own way.

I mean this in the sense of negative thought patterns or bad habits.

One of my favorite movies when I was a teenager was Inception. Couldn't give you just one reason why. It just was. I bring it up because of one quote I want to borrow/paraphrase.

"We create and perceive our world simultaneously."

Getting stuck in a negative feedback loop is getting stuck in the creation and perception of your- well, since I'm speaking personally, my world.

For example:

I'm currently post-grad from college, looking for work and constantly going through existential crises, but this feels worse than my high school crises or college ones. Now, I no longer have my definition of "student" for myself.

I get stuck thinking about if my education was worth it, if spending all this time and getting constant rejections means that I'm useless, a waste of space.

I create this image of my world- belittling my experiences, putting myself down- and I perceive it to be true.

I create my own hell.

So I need to get in my own way. I need to get in the middle of this negative feedback loop and remind myself that life takes time. I shouldn't worry so much about where I'm supposed to be; instead, I should just be.

I guess this is just a note to my future self, as well as anyone reading this:

You are worth it. You'll get wherever you're supposed to be when you get there.

Getting through to yourself can be hard. Working out of bad habits isn't something that can be done in a day.

But you got this.

I've been spending so much time lately just trying to exist. Not worry, not overthinking about what's next.

Unrelated note: thank you, to anyone who might be reading this, for bearing with me on the meanderings of my mind. They're convoluted, but I try to keep it fairly easy to read.

Being contemplative and thinking about how far I've come in the last few months, let alone this whole year. 2017 so far has been a wild ride, and I don't know what exactly the future holds.

And that's okay.

Allons-y. Once more unto the breach, friends.

#twisi #personal

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kaikookie · 7 years

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Echoes .2

Member: Jeon Jungkook

Genre: angst, soulmate au, fluff

Word Count: 2,579

Author’s Note: Part two of my first short series. I know took a while, i was on vacation :) Please comment or give some feedback if you liked it! Enjoy!

Part one. two. three. four.

Soulmate. When your whole world comes to a stop when destiny draws the pair close.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Monotone beeping repeats itself for a solid three minutes before you reach your hand over to stop your alarm clock. You had been letting the alarm clock ring for the past few repeats despite knowing how excruciatingly annoying it was. Your eyes lazily open to soak in the familiar sight of your bedroom ceiling.

Why was the most mundane day in your life chosen to be repeated?

Light filters through the blinds in your room. Neon green numbers that show “7:00 AM” is the only other source of light in your room. The room is silent now that the beeping stopped.

“Day 359,” you think to yourself. You let out a big sigh, stretching your arms above your head and arching your back. Time to get moving. Life doesn’t wait for anyone.

Once again, it’s routine. Brush your teeth, wash your face, get dressed. However, today, you get stuck at that last step, realizing something.

It‘s your birthday today. One week before you slipped into a loophole of time was your birthday. Looking over the clothes that you own, you decide whether your birthday was worth the trouble of finding a new outfit to wear.

Maybe today I’ll find him if I wear my birthday suit…

Deciding to not be naked was an easy choice, so you settled on a nice jungle green crop top and black jacket with shorts. After pulling your hair into a loose ponytail, you move on to find a pair of socks. The drawers fight back as you pull them open. After a series of grunts and exasperated pushing, the stubborn drawers close, marking the end of your morning routine You grab the keys and phone that are sitting on the kitchen counter and head for the door.

Turning around, you scan the room behind you once more. You let your eyes wander across your living room before you let out one more sigh and close the doors.

Morning are always tough, but why did this one hurt so much?

Your car is parked in front of your apartment. A quick push of the keys makes the car let out two beeps. Ducking your head underneath to get inside the driver seat, you sit down and pull the seat belt across your chest. You look at the dashboard of your car.

Radio, or phone?

You plug in your phone and start playing your favorite playlist of songs. You’ve given up trying to find different radio stations since they play the same news from the same day.

You don’t know where you’re going. All you know is you want to go away, away from the repetitiveness of your city, away from the people you’ve seen for the last 300 something day, and wistfully thinking, possibly away from the time loop.

“My birthday tradition,” you say aloud to yourself, “let’s go Y/N.” Every year, without fail, you and your parents take you to the café they first met in to buy you your favorite dessert.

Despite it being a three hour drive, you know the path by heart. Once you hit the freeway, you feel more at peace than you ever felt in months. “This is one trip I won’t mind repeating,” you think to yourself.

You drive along the road for a while, losing yourself in the scenery and music. The landscape changes every now and then. The trees fade out to water as you drive over a small bridge, and the water turns to pavement as you enter the bustling city of Seoul where the cafe is.

Parking was always a problem when you and your parents came. After ten minutes of circling the cafe, you finally find a secluded spot away from the parking meters and a good walk away from the cafe. However, you could still smell the sweetness in the air from cupcakes and milk tea.

The cafe itself was small. It was a start up business by a pair of soulmates. Their business was more always more successful as a catering company when they could display their multitude of beautiful cake decorations. However, the couple still kept the cafe part of their business open and you were glad they did.

Opening the door and stepping into the bakery causes the small tinkling of the bells to ring above your head. You’re enveloped in sweet coolness and greet the owner at the cash register refilling the water station

"Hello Hyorin, long time no see, I missed your cheesecakes,” you exclaim. Your eyes deviously scan the glass display.

"Silly, what are you talking about? I saw you last week for your birthday. Why are you here again?” She laughs and continues "You want the usual?"

You just nod. You almost forgot that, to the rest world, the hardships you faced in the past months were just you.

You sit at the corner booth where you sit every year for your birthday. A wooden beam runs along the wall up to the ceiling. Your name is etched on the wood along with hundreds of others. You play with the necklace around your neck and look at the time.

"11:42 am," you think, "happy birthday to me."

The ringing of bells scatter your thoughts and you see a young man walking in through the door. He utters a few quick orders and turns around to find a seat. You don't realize you're staring before it’s too late.

His gaze seem to linger on your face for a while. You try to inconspicuously turn back to face the window and watch the occasional car drift by. Light footsteps grow slightly louder as the boy enters your view.

"Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" asks the boy. His voice is nice, smooth and rich. He looks over at you with a smug smile. He spells trouble without even trying. His hands rest on the back of chair across from you, ready to pull and sit down at your call. You turn in your seat to look around. The cafe is nearly empty.

Teasingly, you face the boy and say, "No, it's open. I know it gets pretty crowded in this cafe, you must of had a hard time looking for a seat."

He chuckles, "Okay, let me rephrase that, will you grant me my one wish in the world, which is being able to sit next to a pretty girl like you?"

A smile spreads across your face. First conversations are always fun, especially with new people. It's always the fifth time when a conversation starts to turn sour.

You nod your head signaling him to sit down, "I'm Y/N."

"Jungkook," he replies.

"What is a guy like you doing here? Didn't peg you for the type to hang out at a cute little cafe like this,” you comment sarcastically.

"Guy like me? What, fantasizing about me already?" Jungkook retorts.

You laugh out loud and look down at your folded fingers. Yep, the change in scenery was a good idea.

Before you can reply, Hyorin comes over and tell you, "I'm so sorry Y/N, I just realized that the women and her child over there also ordered a blueberry cheesecake before you. It was the last one and it’ll take a while to make another batch."

The smile on your face falters, nothing tastes better than the blueberry cheesecake here. You look up at Hyorin, "That's okay, can you change my order to a banana crepe then?"

She nods and faces Jungkook, "I'll be right back with your bagel."

"Thank you, there's no rush," he replies, flashing a bright smile.

"You still haven't answered my question yet," you says raising one eyebrow.

"I've been coming here every morning for a while now," he replies “I’m waiting for my time to find my soulmate since my brother also found his soulmate here.”

So he hasn't enter the time loop yet... you conclude.

"What about you?" Jungkook asks.

"It's complicated, but today is kind of my birthday. I come here every year to celebrate with my parents with a blueberry cheesecake. They also met each other here looking for their soulmates,” you explain.

"But where are your parents..." he trails off.

"Like I said, I'm kind of in a complicated situation right now,” you quietly say.

He nods, "I can’t say I know how you feel, but I going through a rough patch too,” he laughs dryly.

He continues, “It feels like I have no control over my life right now. As if no matter what I give to the world, I get the same thing over and over again, like I'm screaming in a cave and all I get are echoes.”

You think about the words he says and surprisingly relate to them.

"Wow, did you think of that yourself? You should write a book,” you comment, trying to lighten the mood.

"Ha, no, I actually stole the quote from the third Iron Man movie," he says sarcastically. You laugh.

"Oh really? You should teach me more about Iron man, cause I really don't recall that ever being a part of the movie,” you retort.

The both of you spend the next few minutes talking about anything either of you can think of. From Iron Man to briefly touching upon the meaning of life, the constantly switching topics are the reason why you’re smiling the whole time. You can’t stop staring at his eyes, always waiting for his bunny smile to show up, and giggling every time he scrunches up his nose whenever you say something sassy.

You find yourself running your eyes over his appearance again and again. He’s definitely well-built. There was no denying that. His simple white T-shirt compliments his blue jeans and makes him look put together. He sits in a relaxing position with his arms on the table fiddling with the napkin dispenser on the table. He alludes confidence.

Your food comes, and the conversation turn into a comfortable silence. You take a fork and cut through the layers of pastry, ice cream, banana, and whipped cream to place it in your mouth. The cool ice cream and warm crepe makes for a perfect combination. Your eyes close slowly. Your tongue flicks out to lick the whipped cream off the corners of your mouth. When you open your eyes, you catch Jungkook staring.

He looks at you for a while, with his eyes glancing up and down ever so slightly, and his Adam's apple bobbing. Eventually, his eyes don’t leave your lips. When he realizes you’re looking back at him, he suddenly clears his throat and focuses back on cutting through his bagel.

You feel your cheeks flare up. Shit. Did that look suggestive? Your eyes start to wander around the room, looking for something to comment on to clear the silence.

What in the world was that? Why did he-? What-? Great, I can't even think straight because of him...

The comfortable silence has quickly turned into tense awkwardness. However, it only lasts a moment though. Jungkook decides that it was a good time to do a minion impression, seeing the bananas on your plate. The tension clears.

"Enjoying that crepe over there?" Jungkook asks with a small smile.

"Yep...but I still wish I got that blueberry cheesecake," you frown, "Have you tried it before? It’s so good, you have to get it the next time you come,"

Jungkook replies quickly, "Maybe I'll try it tomorrow," and glances out the window.

Tomorrow. You feel like you’ve been doused with a glass of cold water. Jungkook is going to be here again tomorrow, and everything is going to be the same. The same snarky conversation, the same humorous comments, same everything. Except you'll have memories of him and he won't. For some reason, your heart aches at the thought of that.

Jungkook sees the sudden silence from you, and furrows his eyebrows. "Hey, are you okay? Did I say something wrong?" he asks.

Your heart is pounding in your chest. You can’t seem to breathe right. He’s so caring, why couldn’t he be my soulmate. You barely spent an hour with Jungkook, but the emotions you felt with him seem to be magnified a thousand times. These short memories, this one conversation, and this one girl he is looking at....he’s not going to know any of it happened if I don’t come back. You almost tear up.

You quickly recover and make something up, "No, no. It's just that I'm really missing my parents right now."

Before Jungkook can say anything, you get up and take your plate with you. The chair screeches in protest as it scrapes across the floor. The room is suffocating.

“Hey, where are you going, don’t leave. Please,” Jungkook say, immediately rising to try to stop you.

“It was nice talking to you Jungkook, but I came to Seoul to give time for myself and think. I can’t spend this day with you. I’m sorry,” you quickly tell him.

Jungkook stares at you. His outreached arm hesitate before dropping to his side, and it almost seems as if he woke up from a dream too. His smile is gone, and he looks back at you with longing sadness.

“You’re right, Y/N. I’m sorry. Wow....it’s going to be hard to forget you, and I hope it’s the same for you,” Jungkook replies.

Jungkook sits back down at the table. You reach for the door and push it open. The bells ring, and before you are completely out of the store, you call back to Jungkook.

“Thank you, although it was short, I had a great time. I’ll miss you.”

You step out of the dream-like environment of the cafe, and head into the city of Seoul. The wind blows gently, a few cars stream down the road, and small food carts are bustling with business.

All this is happening, but the only thing you can focus on is Jungkook’s gaze following you as you walk away.

jungkook’s point of view

The cafe seems a thousand times more empty after you left. Jungkook has waited here everyday for the past 100 days for his soulmate, hoping that the lucky coincidence his brother had will also happen to him.

Damn it! It’s the 359th day. Today he decided to wake up earlier to wait at the cafe as opposed to waiting in the evening.

It did make me one step closer...kind of. All he’s grateful is that something changed from his last 50 days.

He liked talking to you. For once, he found motivation to do something instead of just sitting at the cafe for half the day.

Okay, what did I do today that was different and got me here... Jungkook thinks. He takes a napkin and makes a list.

went to the cafe in the morning

yelled at jimin to do the dishes...again

a car cut me off on the highway

He thinks a bit....what else?...I did wear my Timberland shoes today...

wore Timberlands

Now...what can I do to make the day different... Jungkook thinks. Decisions are the reasons why soulmates find each other.

“Blueberry cheesecake!” Jungkook says aloud. He looks up at the abundant array of cakes near the register. If I buy the blueberry cheesecake before it’s out, I might be able change the day to spend more time with Y/N.

Jungkook is excited beyond words. His eyes jump around the room thinking of you. The possibility of another exciting conversation makes him wish this day would end already. His mind already wanders back to you. Your snarky comments and your laugh still rings in his mind. He gently folds the napkin into his pocket and rises to put his plate away.

Just minutes ago, hearing the bells above the door made his heart break. Now, as Jungkook exits the building, the ringing of the bells signaled hope for a better day.

#thebtsnetwork #jungkook #bts #bts jungkook #bts scenarios #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts scenario #bangtan #bangtanboys #jungkook scenarios #bts soulmate au #soulmate au

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imsohealthy1 · 4 years

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Best Practices For Dealing With Stress w/ Ritu Riyat

Whereas stress isn’t inherently a nasty factor, the quantity of stress and alter we’re experiencing throughout this pandemic could be trigger for concern. That is why I’ve introduced stress detox skilled Ritu Riyat onto the present. As we speak Ritu is right here to present us a deep dive into understanding what stress actually is, and the way you need to use her stress detox framework to peel again the layers and uncover the place your secret stress is hidden.

Click on play to hear proper on this web page, no app wanted:

Understanding The Delicate Indicators Of Burnout

By asking your self what you are able to do in a second of stress to really feel in management, you’ll be able to create a routine that calms your thoughts and helps you adapt to this fixed state of change. Along with her sensible suggestions for turning into extra self-aware and her data across the understanding of the delicate indicators of burnout, Ritu may even stroll us by a brief meditation follow on this episode that can assist you handle your stress in a extra productive method.

If you wish to achieve a conceptual framework to know stress, perceive self-awareness and implement sensible methods to look at if meditation is best for you and to discover a approach for the follow to profit you, that is an episode you’ll be able to’t miss. Whereas meditation will not be for everybody, it’s all about digging into how you’re feeling proper now as a way to do one thing about it.

What did you be taught on this episode? Share your ideas with us within the feedback under.

On As we speak’s Episode

Methods to detox your life from stress throughout the present pandemic (8:14)

Be taught concerning the stress detox framework and easy methods to develop self-awareness (13:05)

Delicate indicators which will point out that you’re going from eustress to burnout (17:32)

The 4 finest self-reflection questions that can assist you verify in with your self (23:12)

Take part on a meditation follow and be taught different meditation actions to strive (25:35)

Sources Talked about In This Present

Ritu Riyat Web site

Stress Detox Udemy Course

5 Minute Thoughts Program

Comply with Ritu on Fb | Instagram

Be a part of the Core four Membership on Fb

Quotes

“That turned the framework of the stress detox program that I created, which is deeply rooted in consciousness. So creating your self-awareness and your personal private response to emphasize.” (11:15)

“It’s not that we’re attempting to eradicate stress from our life, what we’re actually attempting to do is acknowledge the place we’re on the stress spectrum. And when have been approaching misery, that’s after we apply our instruments to take a pause and convey ourselves down that spectrum again into eustress or possibly a state of calm.” (16:19)

“Its extraordinarily essential proper now on this present pandemic that we’re experiencing, as a result of folks’s emotions are all over, and everyone seems to be coping with it in another way. And nevertheless, you’re coping with it’s okay. And nevertheless, you’re feeling at this second is okay.” (21:35)

“It teaches us and it builds our resilience since you turn out to be extra accepting of change as a result of change is fixed. And so you aren’t as reactive to the change that’s occurring exterior, as a result of you might have turn out to be conversant in working with change inside your physique.” (32:42)

“When issues appear so unsure as they’re proper now in our world, I encourage you to return to what you’ll be able to management.” (35:12)

The Core four is now obtainable! Click on right here to get a free reward if you buy

Why You Want A Stress Detox w/ Ritu Riyat FULL TRANSCRIPT

Steph Gaudreau That is Episode 283 of the Pay attention To Your Physique podcasts on right this moment’s present. I’m welcoming stress skilled Ritu Riyat. And she or he is sharing with us methods for reducing stress for incorporating meditation into your life and a lot extra. The following evolution of more durable to kill radio is right here. Welcome to the Pay attention To Your Physique podcast. on this present, we’ll discover the intersection of physique, thoughts and soul well being and provide help to reclaim your talents to eat and transfer extra intuitively. Hear your physique’s alerts, and belief your self extra deeply. I’m Steph Gaudreau, a licensed intuitive consuming counselor, dietary remedy practitioner, and power coach. On this podcast. You possibly can count on to listen to skilled visitor interviews and solo chats that may provide help to deepen your belief with meals motion and your physique. Keep in mind to hit the subscribe button and share this podcast with your folks and family members. Now, on to the present. Howdy, my good friend, thanks a lot for becoming a member of me on the present right this moment. To begin with, enormous, enormous thanks goes out to you as a result of this little podcast has now hit over three million downloads which is loopy, loopy loopy. I’m so very grateful that it’s now nearly 5 years on the nostril shall be 5 years. On June one which I launched this podcast, in fact, it used to have a distinct identify that was More durable To Kill Radio. However now we’re persevering with to hold that torch with this present and it simply blows my thoughts each time I take into consideration the variety of of us who’ve been in a position to hearken to the present to collect data, data, and peace of thoughts from My visitors, and hearken to me ramble and rant and rave about all of the issues which can be in my universe. So, initially, simply needed to present you a large, large thanks and specific my gratitude. For you. It means so very a lot that you simply tuned into the present, and that you simply inform the folks you like about this podcast. In fact. One solution to present your love could be to hit subscribe in your podcast app. To know actually shortly what that does is it helps the present to be seen subscribers is likely one of the ways in which a present sport that recognition and so what that actually does is it organically helps new folks discover the podcast. So it’s very, crucial and really a lot appreciated. I’m very excited to welcome to the present right this moment. Ritu Riyat. She is any person that I’ve really recognized for a few years and we have been attempting to Determine it out on the prime of the present how precisely we met one another. However lately Ritu has a very superb program, all about stress. And I noticed her share it on my private Fb not too way back and thought, Oh, I have to ask her to return on the podcast as a result of she has expertise within the yoga world. She has the expertise now educating easy methods to actually scale back stress in our lives, however not solely that actually perceive what stress is. And she or he additionally weaves in issues like mindfulness, and mindfulness meditation, nevertheless, she has some sturdy opinions about meditation. So in case you’re desirous about choosing up a meditation follow on this aggravating time, you’re going to need to tune in to the remainder of the present and discover out her ideas on that. Earlier than we hop in, I simply would like to remind you to hitch the Pay attention To Your Physique publication. I’m cooking up some alternatives so that you can work with me on creating a extra peaceable relationship with meals and your physique. That is persevering with the work that I do with my intuitive consuming small group teaching and a lot extra. There are extra particulars that I may presumably let you know on this intro. So if you wish to get within the loop and be sure you are the primary to learn about how one can work with me in these new and thrilling methods, then be part of the hearken to your physique publication. It comes out about as soon as per week, and I share extra goodness with you so that you’re going to need to go there it’s StephGaudreau.com/LTYB and that, in fact, stands for Pay attention To Your Physique. Alright, let’s bounce into right this moment’s episode. Oh my gosh, learn by what Welcome to the present. I’m so extremely glad that you simply’re becoming a member of me right this moment on the podcast.

Ritu Riyat Thanks a lot, Steph. I’m actually comfortable to be right here with you.

Steph Gaudreau Yeah, I used to be pondering again I used to be attempting to return in my reminiscence. Financial institution and bear in mind precisely how we acquired linked with one another. It’s been a very long time. And I wasn’t Yeah, I wasn’t really in a position to bear in mind how we acquired in prefer it got here into one another’s consciousness. However however, I’m so glad that lately you understand, I do know I feel issues come into your consciousness for a motive however you discuss rather a lot about any of this superb course about stress. And I see your posts pop up on Fb on a regular basis. We’re Fb buddies, however I noticed it not too way back and I simply thought I might like to have her on the podcast. So right here we’re, all these years later. Keep in mind how we acquired linked?

Ritu Riyat You already know, I form of do it, it’s nearly been a decade. And I feel I’m unsure in case you did the I’m diet program. I do know I positively was doing that. And I feel I had met somebody by that possibly that linked me however Keep in mind, you’re biking your sneakers?

Steph Gaudreau Yeah. Yeah, I used to be, I used to be racing mountain bikes.

Ritu Riyat Sure. And I had simply gotten into biking as a result of I had achieved the AIDS lifecycle, or I used to be simply beginning to prepare for the AIDS lifecycle bike trip. And I feel I used to be into CrossFit on the time. I feel you may need been and yeah, simply and a few worlds colliding, I may need been launched to you thru a connection. So yeah, that’s what I bear in mind. I reached out and we had an awesome dialog. You have been biking distances or mountain biking, and I used to be doing this long-distance bike trip.

Steph Gaudreau Proper? It’s loopy. Yeah. So I didn’t do it after I went by the NTP program by the MTA, however However yeah, isn’t it humorous how these, these worlds form of, you understand, like, we’re each using bikes, racing bikes, doing all this biking stuff, after which that fell away after which simply getting reconnected and reacquainted and watching your personal journey and your skilled journey, change and adapt and go in numerous instructions. And I’ve at all times simply actually appreciated that, that you simply appear to essentially lean into these areas that you simply’re discovering actually attention-grabbing or that you’ve that experience in and we may discuss all day about, about enterprise stuff, however that’s not essentially why we’re right here.

I used to be actually struck by clearly proper now there are simply so many individuals feeling so many issues amplified in lots of methods. And the stress and anxiousness that persons are feeling are actually overwhelming. We’ve had some visitors on within the latest previous, speaking about anxiousness, however I actually would like to, you understand, have you ever simply give us this finger on the heart beat of what you see occurring proper now. And we’re gonna additionally speak about some issues having to do with meditation, after which additionally, we’re going to finish you’re going to finish by doing a bit additional With us, so I feel that is going to be actually a helpful dialog. However I do know that one of many issues that you’ve is a course the place you train, form of easy methods to detox your life from stress, and it’s extra workplace-related. At what are you seeing proper now with simply type of the collective of what’s happening when it comes to folks attempting to take care of deal with stress?

Ritu Riyat Yeah. So let me form of again up and attempt to give an summary of the stress detox that I’ve and my interpretation of stress as a result of I feel there’s lots of totally different ways in which we outlined stress and the way in which that I’ve come to outline it for myself and what I train is and what my understanding of stress which actually helped me get a deal with alone stress and anxiousness, having been a yoga trainer for nearly 15 plus years now and been within the mind-body world for a very long time. And a public well being educator I really personally thought I had a deal with on my stress and anxiousness till in the future I simply discovered myself crippled with anxiousness, like having a panic assault and I assumed, wow, I eat nice a exercise I do all of these things. How am I experiencing this? And God’s gonna notice like nobody for me, you understand, all of us expertise stress, all of us can expertise anxiousness and stress is definitely fairly regular and essential in our life. The way in which I outline it’s stressors. our physique’s pure response to alter. And alter is consistently occurring. And it’s actually recognizing how a lot management do you might have in that scenario that you simply’re in. So when issues are when change begins to occur at an accelerated charge, we might really feel a lack of management Or we might be able to adapt to that change. Strike is mostly a notion of our thoughts that what’s occurring inside our thoughts and the way we’re perceiving that scenario however exterior of us. And so with the stress detox and for me personally after I began taking a look at, okay, why am I experiencing this anxiousness and the stress and began peeling again the layers and actually placing on like my researcher’s hat to analyze? The place is the stress hidden in my life as a result of I assumed I felt nice. I regarded nice. I used to be exercising, I used to be doing all of these things but. Nonetheless was experiencing this anxiousness, which didn’t occur in a single day, and really occurred over time. It’s simply, we ignore when our physique’s telling us, hey, one thing’s happening. Hey, one thing’s happening. Till in the future that the alarms are going off actually loud and you don’t have any selection however to hear And in order that form of turned the framework of the stress detox program that I created, which is deeply rooted in consciousness. So creating your self-awareness and your personal private response to emphasize. As a result of one individual might reply to construction that change occurring, and it could possibly be thrilling, and one other individual may have a look at the identical change and simply be in an entire panic. So it’s very private and recognizing your personal private responses and signs of the change that you simply’re experiencing. After which form of placing in your detective hat and actually stepping into and taking a look at the place is the stress hidden? What’s that hidden stressor? We frequently consider the large issues like oh, work is stressing me out or my relationship is stressing me out underneath massive. These are enormous issues in our life that may’t simply change so shortly. And oftentimes, if you do change them You end up in an identical place in that new job, or in that new relationship as a result of there’s one thing deeper happening. And so actually peeling again the layers to find the place stress is hidden, these delicate issues. Now, in fact, what we’re experiencing proper now, is, isn’t delicate. There. It’s really very a lot apparent in our face this alteration that’s occurring. So it’s a distinct stage of stress. It’s actually acute. It’s occurring proper now. The stress detox program was designed to essentially dig into a few of the continual stress that we have been all experiencing previous to this pandemic. And we have been all prepared, particularly in our workplaces on the verge of burnout. And this has simply accelerated the method and we’re alongside this pandemic. We’re additionally having a psychological well being disaster. We now have to handle after which we are able to have the instruments and techniques that we’ve got to handle stress and making use of them in additional in a extra strategic method. So if you uncover, hey, that is what’s actual, that is my hidden stressor. And let me take a pause at the moment on this present day.

So that you simply’re being extra strategic with the methods that you simply’re utilizing versus I meditate very first thing within the morning, after which I don’t do anything all through the day, proper? As a result of then it begins to pile on, and also you’re not addressing or giving your self a break to course of the stressor. Yeah, I really like that.

Steph Gaudreau I used to be gonna say that’s such an awesome, it’s simply such an awesome overview of the type of what’s happening proper now. However go forward and end what you’re saying. mentioned then I’ve a pair I’ve, like, have so many questions that I’m asking.

Ritu Riyat I used to be gonna say in order that’s form of the overview. And that turned the framework for misery detox. It’s actually it nearly is Easy, nevertheless it’s not straightforward. However as a result of it requires lots of requires work to essentially develop that self-awareness to consistently verify in with your self and to note the way you’re responding to the modifications which can be occurring. After which constructing resilience. So the opposite aspect of stress is the resilience of adapting to the change. Now, I feel I began off saying that stress isn’t unhealthy, really, all of us want a wholesome quantity of stress. And there’s a stress spectrum. So in case you even Google the stress spectrum, it form of it’s a, it’s a curve, and on one aspect of it, you’re in a state of calm. After which if you’re when you might have some well being challenges coming into your life, you really start to expertise some stage or improve in a few of these stress hormones. A little bit little bit of cortisol comes into your system, a bit little bit of adrenaline that will get you motivated, that will get us you understand, wanting to try this work. And that’s what we wish. That’s what Want, we thrive off of that, and also you enter into this zone, which we could also be name our peak efficiency, we name it the zone. By way of the science of stress, it’s known as your stress. So that you SPR e FF. And that’s to assist the quantity of stress. And that’s the place we that’s optimum efficiency. Now, what occurs is, if the problem then turns into an excessive amount of for us, or we’ve got some type of worry of the problem, and that problem could possibly be one thing like a deadline. You already know, possibly the deadline was a wholesome problem at first, however as you bought nearer, you felt such as you couldn’t want it, it, the stress stage started to go improve much more, and now it enters into this zone known as misery. Oftentimes, after we speak about stress, and we’re so wired, we’re really referencing that state of misery. So after I have a look at it that approach as this curve, it’s not that we’re attempting To eradicate stress from our life, what we’re actually attempting to do is acknowledge the place we’re on the stress spectrum. And after we’re approaching misery. That’s after we apply our instruments to take a pause and convey ourselves down that spectrum again into you careworn or possibly a state of calm, and simply form of slide up and down that wholesome face over there between calm and use stress, pushing our edge, however not tipping over and the place we get into overwhelm and burnout.

Steph Gaudreau Hmm, that was gonna be my first query was are you able to describe the distinction, you understand, is all stress unhealthy? And I feel that that’s such an enormous factor that you understand, sure issues in science in tradition and well being and wellness areas get a very unhealthy repute, proper like cortisol. Nicely, hey, cortisol is a pure, regular hormone that we really I’ll want it has lots of nice advantages that it does for our physique. It’s crucial however It’s type of just like the poisons within the dose, proper? Prefer it’s how, how chronically Are we being uncovered to that form of factor? After which how, how a lot restoration time are we permitting ourselves? So I’m actually glad that you simply talked about that. You already know, one in all my different questions and also you stumble on this just a bit bit earlier is that oftentimes we really feel we have been we turn out to be like aware of when stress is simply gone off the chart for us. However you mentioned earlier that there are lots of extra delicate indicators that your physique goes to ship you that you’re type of getting into into that state of, of the place you’re not within the US stress class anymore. And also you’re tending to lean extra in the direction of that burnout section. How what are a few of these extra delicate indicators that individuals will need to look out for

Ritu Riyat what and delicate clues a few of them occur on a psychological stage, a bodily stage, emotional stage, and behavioral responses. So these delicate signs can happen in any a kind of areas or all of these areas and a few of them could possibly be fatigue, it could possibly be on excessive ranges. Dry pores and skin, your pores and skin may begin responding and begin having highs and breakouts. Your coronary heart begins to be quicker, profusely sweating. On a behavioral stage, consuming modifications, both overeating, the craving, lack of train have been or the exercising earlier than and then you definately simply misplaced your motive motivation to train or possibly even indulging in an excessive amount of into train or substances. These are a few of there’s so many who I may delve deep into And once more, they’re so private. So simply recognizing one, it goes again to your consciousness. How is your life construction? Nice. Now? How are you if you’re in a relaxed state? After which starting to note when delicate modifications occur, proper? Am I craving an excessive amount of sugar right this moment? Am I you understand, wanting that additional glass of wine? Do I simply need to sleep in and never do something? Can I stay awake in any respect? So these sorts of modifications in our habits are indicators that one thing’s happening.

Steph Gaudreau Hmm, yeah, these are, I feel shall be actually useful for folks. And, you understand, I feel one of many largest issues that individuals inform me is that they’re simply, they’re not feeling like themselves, you understand, you form of construct up these years, maybe decades-long. Form of, you understand, that is how I often really feel or these are, how that is how I’m usually functioning. That is form of what’s baseline for me. Not that these issues are at all times, you understand, as a result of we are able to get actually accustomed to issues being not okay. And having that simply turn out to be the brand new regular. In order that’s not essentially what I imply. However I feel that there’s simply that vast consciousness piece that of pondering, you understand, how is that this usually how I might operate and have issues gotten worse from there? I feel that’s in all probability what I’m speaking about is how removed from that, that baseline how issues shifted? And, and so, yeah, so essential, such as you mentioned, to contemplate every little thing actually holistically, proper. I feel generally persons are like, Oh, nicely, you understand, it’s simply that I, my digestion is tousled or one thing, however it may be that psychological, emotional, religious, bodily factor, proper, that that we might not count on. That could possibly be that little indicator, that stuff’s shifting in a course that’s not so wholesome for us.

Ritu Riyat Yeah, and I feel you touched on one thing that’s actually essential to acknowledge is that basic feeling of one thing’s not proper. Like, I don’t really feel good. And so as to get there, we’ve got to first acknowledge that nevertheless, we’re feeling is okay, and validate our personal emotions. And that’s even extraordinarily essential proper now on this present, you understand, the pandemic that we’re experiencing as a result of folks’s emotions are all over. And everyone seems to be coping with it in another way. And nevertheless, you’re coping with it’s okay. And nevertheless, you’re feeling and this second is okay. And so as to change, you understand, or transfer in some course, it’s important to know the place you’re proper now. So form of have that evaluation of how am I feeling proper now? How am I actually feeling proper now? And if the reply isn’t actually feeling that nice, nicely, now you can begin digging a bit deeper to do one thing about it.

Steph Gaudreau I really like that. You already know, you additionally talked about as you have been speaking about Growing self-awareness. And as any person who works on this on a regular basis, and may learn I can bear in mind a time after I had virtually no self-awareness and I feel again to these days and the way totally different life felt. How does it? How does any person even go about? Starting like in case you’re not conscious of your ideas, emotions, actions, that type of factor? Like how do you even turn out to be self-aware otherwise you do begin to turn out to be self-aware, particularly when there are such a lot of issues grabbing at your consideration? Now greater than ever, what does this seem like on a very sensible stage for folks?

Ritu Riyat I’ll say top-of-the-line instruments to develop self-awareness is a mindfulness follow to the meditation follow. And, you understand, meditation can imply lots of various things to numerous totally different folks. What meaning to me is to essentially simply sit with your self in stillness, in silence. And as an alternative of wanting outward at every little thing else that’s occurring, turning inwards and reflecting, asking your self and self-reflection questions. What I inform a few of my purchasers, particularly within the office is these 4 self-reflection questions of what went nicely right this moment. What didn’t go so nicely? What may I? What may I’ve achieved in another way round what didn’t go so nicely? And what am I grateful for? And simply asking your self some questions. These are nice inquiries to ask daily or, you understand, possibly having another questions that you simply that resonate with you asking inquiries to your self and answering them shortly with out analyzing them, simply permitting that reply to return up and noticing what that reply is. for your self as a result of it’s an inquiry, proper? Self Consciousness is an inquiry and we’re so used to, it’s not that we’re not conscious we’ve got lots of consciousness. It’s simply lots of that consciousness and lots of our consciousness has been developed to be exterior. By being conscious of what another person wants or being conscious of deadlines, being conscious of, you understand, how another person Chrissy says, what different persons are going to say form of, you understand, the impression that we’ve got on others. We now have achieved little or no and haven’t had lots of coaching at all times been our conventional education them to look inward and actually belief our instinct and belief ourselves and permit our instinct to information us.

I really like the way it begins with an inquiry.

Steph Gaudreau Sure, you introduced up so many nice factors in there too, which anyone who listens to this podcast who won’t be a stranger to so I’m not gonna harp on these an excessive amount of, however it’s such as you mentioned so. Essential begin, begin tuning in getting curious, proper like inquiring and listening for these solutions that come by with out judging them. So I need to shift a bit bit since you talked about this earlier than we have been on the air. And I feel that is so extremely essential, particularly with what’s occurring on the planet. In the mean time you probably did point out one of many instruments that you need to use to construct your personal consciousness could be issues like mindfulness follow, or meditation follow. And earlier than we began recording, I requested you, is there one thing you’d actually like to speak about? And also you mentioned that meditation will not be for everybody, particularly now. So I might love so that you can broaden on that. What do you imply by that? How, how can we begin making use of that lens to us as people with listening to ourselves, our our bodies, our personal consciousness, issues like that?

Ritu Riyat Oh, yeah, meditation is a superb device. I’m an enormous advocate for A, like, encourage everybody to work on constructing a meditation follow, or, or a self-awareness follow to only sitting in silence and stillness. And it’s troublesome to do. After I first began meditating, which is been a very long time in the past, as a result of I began Yoga 20 years in the past, it was difficult for me, particularly coming from a mindset of I’m on the go on a regular basis. And after I did begin being with myself however sitting nonetheless with myself, there have been 1,000,000 ideas and I simply form of thought, This isn’t for me, I can’t do that. And it took me some time to construct that self-awareness. And finally, I did a 10-day silent meditation retreat of the personnel the place I used to be meditating 10 hours a day. And it That was my first realization of Wow, that is work and that is troublesome and There’s rather a lot that comes up within the thoughts and the way essential it’s to, to, there’s rather a lot that comes up within the thoughts, and it’s important to be at it in a considerably secure place to essentially deepen that follow and having lots of self-compassion.

So all that to say, proper now, everybody’s feeling such as you’ve damage your emotions could also be all over. And there’s lots of articles that I learn that say, in case you’re feeling wired, sit down and meditate. It’s an awesome device to work with misery. And I’m wondering how is it precisely an awesome device to work with, with stress, simply since you sit and stillness doesn’t imply your stress goes to vanish, or that you simply’re going to know easy methods to act on it. I feel it does provide you with self consciousness of Okay, that is how I’m feeling. I’m feeling anxious proper now. However it’s good to know easy methods to deal with that anxiousness if you come out of your meditation. And possibly if you sit down To meditate, and you’ve got lots of ideas in your thoughts and your coronary heart is racing and also you simply, there’s a lot uncertainty in your life. You possibly can’t really sit and be nonetheless with these ideas. Meditation will not be the perfect factor to do proper now possibly it’s one other follow that helps you decelerate as a way to get to the stillness, like coloring in a ebook like utilizing grownup coloring books or going for a stroll or shifting your physique. Some say Thoughts Physique practices. Historically, meditate is yoga follow, the follow was designed to tire your physique out in order that you would sit and meditate. And if you follow for a very long time or develop your follow, then there have been some Yogi’s that they’d sit they usually may go proper into meditation, however early on, it’s actually bodily. As you need to launch lots of that floor power as a way to sit and meditate. So, it’s one thing I needed to handle that in case you’re listening to this recommendation of, nicely let me sit and meditate even in case you’ve been any person that meditation middle common a part of your follow, nevertheless it’s difficult proper now. It’s okay. And simply having compassion for your self. And, you understand, getting inventive with different issues that you are able to do to decelerate after which possibly approaching the meditation

Steph Gaudreau I really like that I feel that’s such an essential distinction to make. And I do know for myself I’ve I’m comparatively new to meditation when it comes to it being an everyday follow in my life and I’ve been doing I’ve been attempting lots of totally different sorts of meditation for me personally, the thought of doing have Aptana is rather like not gonna occur at this level in my life. It simply doesn’t, doesn’t really feel like the proper match for me and many persons are achieved with Aptana they usually simply say I felt the identical approach. After which I got here out of it. And I used to be so glad I did. And I’m like, I’m not I simply don’t really feel prepared for that. It doesn’t really feel like the proper match for me at this level. However I’ve been actually attempting numerous totally different meditations. And so for me personally, one of many hardest issues is to take a seat in and be in that area the place I’m extra nonetheless or I’ve no, I’m attempting to, like, connect to no ideas. For me, I actually love listening to issues like singing bowls, Crystal bowls, Tibetans evils, like simply having the sound there’s something that I can deal with is actually is feels good for me. So I feel, you understand, what I’ve seen too is lots of people are like, nicely, that is the a technique that you would be able to meditate and never exploring different choices or feeling like that’s not gonna work for them. Like I can’t sit nonetheless for 5 minutes proper now. So it’s identical to it’s utterly off the off desk for me. And I feel what I hear you saying is, you understand if strolling will get you into that meditative state, and you may stroll proper now and it feels good to maneuver your physique. That’s, that’s superior. For me, I additionally knit knitting, for me is like very, it’s nearly like coloring, proper? It form of provides you It will get you into that alpha mind state. And that’s very soothing. So it doesn’t must look a technique. And I feel that’s form of what I hear you saying?

Ritu Riyat Yeah, completely. However I’ll add to that, I’m saying that till like a gathering is a superb instance of it. It helps to only decelerate, decelerate, gradual the thoughts down, and also you’re doing a mind-body sort of follow. After which possibly if you full the knitting, you’ll be able to spend even a minute doing the check-in like, how am I feeling? As a result of that’s the place the self-awareness comes from. And that’s essential with what meditation actually teaches us. One, you understand, there’s going to be ideas within the thoughts and it’s not about having no ideas But it surely’s about extra recognizing, oh, my thoughts simply wandered away. Okay, let me convey it again to my level of focus. And no less than with the optimistic follow and the best-focused meditation follow is simply absorbing the feeling. And simply to, so that you’re simply observing and noticing, Okay, again to jail, and that’s falling that tourism, and that’s fallen. And it teaches us and it builds our resilience since you turn out to be extra accepting of change, as a result of change is fixed. And so that you’re not as reactive to the change that’s occurring. Outdoors since you turn out to be conversant in working with change inside your physique. singing bowls, and different there are different practices like there’s one which I practiced in a yoga coaching of mine known as mesh from the bathroom and it was working with the sound. So that you simply hearken to sound and sound good, proper? After which possibly it’s a fowl chirping. So that you wouldn’t analyze Oh, that’s a fowl chirping. I’m wondering what sort of fowl it’s. As a substitute, you’ll simply hear the sound, after which it will slowly fade away, after which possibly one other sound comes, after which it will fade away. That’s an identical follow of simply not attaching. Similar with singing bowls, you hear a sound, after which it fades, after which one other sound and it fades. So all nice practices of simply being within the second and current, proper, and never attaching to 1 sound or the opposite, however as an alternative with the ability to simply adapt because the change occur.

Steph Gaudreau I really like that. I feel that’s such an awesome clarification of what meditation can actually assist us do. And also you talked about this earlier, I feel earlier than we began recording of the way it’s one factor to take a seat down and do your meditation within the morning after which it’s achieved after which every little thing else piles on to you all through the day. However I feel what I hear you saying is that Working towards, that provides us the pliability to adapt to what’s occurring exterior of the meditation follow as we dwell our lives.

Ritu Riyat Hundred p.c so that you simply’re in management. And I discussed this, at first, is actually after we begin to really feel or method that stage of misery is after we really feel a lack of management a perceived lack of management within the scenario. And so, how the query I at all times ask myself and what I’ve my purchasers ask themselves is, what can I do at this second? To really feel a way of management, what’s the smallest step that I can take? And, and most of us do have management over our personal our bodies, what we put in our our bodies when it comes to meals, how we transfer our our bodies, and the way we predict we weak that’s one thing we are able to management. It’s not straightforward. However it’s one thing that we are able to management. After which after we actually when issues appear so unsure as they’re proper now in our world, I encourage you to return to what you’ll be able to management actually going and creating routine issues that you would be able to that’s sure for you, like, I’m gonna do a exercise at 10 am. Tomorrow I’m going to maneuver my physique or do one thing. So you might have your personal routines that make your thoughts really feel like okay, issues are okay as a result of I’ve a stage of management in my life. Mm-hmm. I really like that.

Steph Gaudreau What do you like to share a bit little bit of meditation with us?

Ritu Riyat Yeah, I for no matter you have been desirous about? Yeah, we’ll do only a very brief, a few minutes. So with meditation, it doesn’t must be. Say that consistency is healthier than amount. So it’s higher to, you understand, one 5 minutes a day versus 20 minutes as soon as per week or one hour, as soon as a month. And so we’ll simply do a brief follow. Proper now in case you’re sitting on a chair, simply go in and sit on the fringe of the chair, your again isn’t in opposition to the backrest. You need your again good and straight, your toes are flat on the bottom. And simply go forward and take your shoulders again and down.

After which softly shut the eyes.

Take a deep breath in by the nostril and exhale out.

And simply take a second right here to note any ideas that start to come up within the thoughts. Understanding that if you do turn out to be nonetheless and silent, the thoughts might get very loud and chaotic and that’s utterly okay. Simply observing these ideas as they start to come up with out analyzing or judging the ideas after which like clouds within the sky permit the ideas to drift on by. As you convey your consideration and your consciousness, the very tip of the nostrils and the area above the higher lip.

Holding your consideration and your consciousness right here start to note and observe any delicate sensations of the breath because it travels out and in by the nostrils. Maybe you discover the tech of the breath or the temperature of the breath.

Possibly you discover the pace of the breath.

simply observing any sensations in any respect, with out judging or analyzing the feeling.

Holding your consideration and your consciousness air now connecting the thoughts to the breath. As you observe your self inhaling by the nostrils, they in your thoughts, inhale. And as you observe your self respiratory out by the nostrils, say in your thoughts, exhale into seems. inhaling by the nostrils. Say in your thoughts, inhale, and as you observe your self respiratory out your nostrils, keep in your thoughts, exhale.

Proceed at your personal tempo together with your breath.

And if at any level your thoughts wanders away from the breath will get caught up in any ideas in any respect. Simply acknowledge that your thoughts has wandered away. disconnect from the thought and gently nudge your thoughts again to the breath. Again to the inhale and exhale.

This place of readability and connection. Now convey to your thoughts one expertise you had right this moment that you’re grateful for. No matter how small or giant simply expertise, visualize that occuring, and permit the sensations of gratitude To look at over you go forward and launch this expertise out of your thoughts and convey your thoughts again to the breath.

Take a deep breath into the nostril.

Deep breath out and wiggle your toes and your fingers simply reawakening your physique.

Then everytime you’re prepared, you’ll be able to softly blink the eyes open.

Proper in order that was only a couple minutes and It’s simply a good way to drop again into the current second into the sensations connecting with the breath and hopefully feeling a bit bit calmer.

Steph Gaudreau I really like that. That was great. And I discovered one thing new there as a result of if you have been speaking about identical to seeing the phrase or, you understand, seeing inhale in your thoughts after which seeing exhale in your thoughts, like that was actually, you understand, pondering the phrase or I do know some folks don’t really, they don’t see phrases. Or they don’t hear themselves converse of their thoughts, which I’ve lately discovered. So some folks see phrases are what that was actually I really like that gave me a focus in my thoughts in addition to in my physique of observing the sensations in order that was great. Thanks a lot.

Ritu Riyat Yeah, you’re welcome. I actually like utilizing the imply once more. In order that does use form of a mantra is giving your thoughts one thing to do, particularly as a newbie in meditation, the thoughts can appear very unfocused. And so that you need to convey it to one thing and the feeling could be so delicate of the breath, particularly it’s troublesome to really feel at first. So connecting, you understand, okay, I observe myself inhaling and saying or factor, inhale, simply started to attach that mind-body breath connection. Ultimately, as you proceed training, you would possibly simply drop into the feeling of the breath, and feeling the breath versus, you understand, and your thoughts is simply there with it.

Steph Gaudreau So highly effective. I really like that and I’m so grateful, grateful to you for sharing that with us. With me and all the folks listening to this present, I feel, you understand, hey, in case you really feel like you’ll be able to’t meditate otherwise you, it’s simply not attainable for you and also you’re ready to make use of it and simply be with that train it doesn’t matter what the result was or what it was like throughout it. I imply, there you go. You, You broke the seal in your first, you understand, possibly your first expertise which is so highly effective. I really like this dialog. A lot, I actually respect you giving us this conceptual framework for understanding stress or understanding self-awareness. After which the sensible aspect of issues, contemplating whether or not meditation is, you understand, proper for us at this level in our, our lives, what sort of meditation might profit us and actually how easy however not straightforward? It will probably completely be. So I feel that that is going to be such a beautiful dialog for folks to hearken to, and I can’t consider our time is already over. Actually how briskly it goes.

Ritu Riyat It was an awesome dialog. Thanks a lot for having me right here and permitting me to share my follow and my educating with you and your viewers.

Steph Gaudreau And sure, completely. And yours. You will have such a relaxing, grounding voice, which I actually respect as nicely. Allow us to let folks know the place they’ll get linked with you be taught extra about your program, be taught extra concerning the issues that you simply’re doing on the planet, and we’ll be sure that we hyperlink all that in Present Notes, however tell us the place they’ll do this.

Ritu Riyat Yeah, you’ll find out extra about me and my practices my work at my web site, Learn By React Calm. There, you’ll find a hyperlink to the stress detox program, which is on Udemy. And it’s also possible to discover a hyperlink to my five-minute thoughts program, which I simply relaunched. It’s a brief follow for constructing a five-minute meditation follow and 5 days, one minute at a time, so you’ll be able to entry that there as nicely, in addition to different instruments and suggestions that I’ve round stress administration proper now.

Steph Gaudreau Superior. And like I mentioned, we’ll hyperlink all that up within the present notes. Oh, my goodness, this was so great learn by. Thanks a lot for being on the present for persevering with to be my good friend. In any case these years, we’ve all gone by so many modifications. However actually, it was great to have the ability to get reconnected on this approach and to have the ability to share your items with my group. So thanks a lot. For being on, hearken to your physique podcast.

Ritu Riyat Thanks.

Steph Gaudreau There we go. That’s a wrap on this episode with Riku Riyat. I so loved having her on the present. I hope you probably did too. And in case you cherished this episode, in case you be taught something, if you wish to share with us what you thought, there are a few methods you are able to do that. First is to share this submit on social media or share this episode I ought to say on social media and tag the each of us and we’d like to see your ideas on that. The second approach is, in fact, to depart a ranking or assessment on Apple Podcasts or iTunes. That’s extraordinarily useful. We’d like to know what you actually took away from this present. What did you be taught what did you want? And it’s also possible to hit the subscribe button that simply helps new folks discover the present. I shouldn’t say simply it’s very, crucial and really a lot appreciated. And I’m so grateful for you taking that additional time. Step to share concerning the present, to get the knowledge into the palms of the folks you like and care about. It’s so significant and so impactful. And naturally, you will get the Present Notes for this episode. over at my web site, StephGaudreau.com. There you’ll find hyperlinks to every little thing from Ritu’s course to her social media, and a lot extra full transcript, the total meal deal, you know the way it goes. Alright, so, go forward and seize all of these goodies and I hope to see you subsequent week on the present. I’ve one other actually cool visitor. I’ll provide you with a bit teaser. When my husband heard her discuss. He was simply doing which may you understand that thoughts blown like he’s like, Thoughts blown together with his palms. So she’s extremely attention-grabbing and the issues that she’s speaking about. I do know you’re gonna love alright. Till then, be nicely.

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Best Practices For Dealing With Stress w/ Ritu Riyat | Steph Gaudreau.

Healthy Meal Plans For The Week

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Where Is Humanity Headed?

For our last reading of the semester we were assigned to take a look at The Human Planet: How We Created the Anthropocene by Lewis and Maslin. From the get go, I think this excerpt was a great choice to finish off the semester as it served as a capstone that encapsulated a good amount of what we talked about throughout our class. One thing I wanted to address before getting into my summary and discussion about the reading is that I am a finance major which, to some degree, needs me to somewhat buy into the current capitalistic world we live in which does give me a bias while talking about the readings discussion on the world’s current state.

Lewis and Maslin title this chapter “Can Homo dominatus Become Wise?” I think this is a very fitting title for the content in this chapter which mainly focuses on the future of humanity and the many potential crises we could face in the future. I wanted to focus on the beginning part of this chapter that posed that there are three ways the future of humanity can go. Firstly, we can continue in our capitalistic ways which will greatly increase the global complexity surrounding humans. Secondly, our society as we know it could collapse due to a number of reasons which mainly focus on the increase of complexity in our lives. The last option is a global shift to a new way of living that deals with many of the problems the capitalistic lives we live presents.

Lewis and Maslin discuss the first of these options in the subsection, “Can Business-As-Usual Continue?” Here they go through the basics of the capitalistic model which boils down to humans create problems and the free market will provide a solution to that problem. The authors claim that this model has three key flaws: it is built on a positive feedback loops that normally end with “fundamental changes,” the complexity of humans lives and energy consumption is increasing at an ever-increasing rate, and some of these challenges are too complex and will result in collapse before a solution is found. The positive feedback loops that drive the capitalistic model are the solving of problems through technology that allow more problems to be solved and investing profits into production to create more profits. Lewis and Maslin conclude that these positive feedback loops must end in a stable state or collapse. The increase of energy consumption and complexity in humans’ lives will continue to provide new technology and ideas that could bring about a new form of society. Lastly, Lewis and Maslin provide an example of bacteria in a petri dish in which the problem isn’t noticeable until it is too late to do anything about it.

Figure 1. Example of a Positive Feedback Loop

The second subsection, “Heading for Collapse?” deals with the possibility that society as a whole will collapse before any worthwhile change comes about. Most of this section continues with the idea from the previous section that the ever-increasing rate of new ideas is the biggest driver of change. These changes will increase the likelihood that more environmental damage is done due to innovation. These new ideas also provide more opportunities for people to bring about the end of society if they wish to do so such as increases in nuclear use, especially in weaponry. However, the exponentially increasing power consumption of the world makes the most climate change the most likely avenue to collapse. Lewis and Maslin reference a study started in 1972 which was reevaluated in 2008. The study had accurately predicted economic growth and food production but, if the model continues to be accurate moving forward, shows a bleak picture for humanity’s future. The model showed a sharp drop in economic activity, food production, and overall human population signaling a global collapse.

Figure 2. Chart of Earth’s Population with Predictions for the Future

Lastly, Lewis and Maslin discuss the possibility of a new way of living in the subsection “A New Way of Life?” Our current way of life sees us selling our labor in order to buy goods and services we want and need. Past shifts in how we live have often occurred when positive feedback loops are prevalent throughout society which, as we have seen in the past sections, is key to how we live today. Continued innovation in renewable energy, for example, could dramatically lower energy costs for the population which would result in individuals having to sell less of their labor in order to obtain the energy they need. Similarly, positive feedback loops surrounding information, the collection, distribution, and access to, lowers the amount of labor needed to be expended to get what they need and opens the door even more for societal changes.

I thought the way Lewis and Maslin approached the concept of where humanity is heading is really interesting. While the three ways humanity could possibly go are quite obvious, I had never really thought about it much and this reading definitely brought those ideas to the front of my mind. The first subsection is where my bias as a finance major is most obvious. Lewis and Maslin go through the basics of a capitalistic society but somewhat contradict themselves in my eyes. They talk about the positive feedback loops that drive capitalism as more innovation leads to more problems being solved. However, Lewis and Maslin assert that at some undefined point this will lead to a societal shift. I don’t really understand where this comes from as capitalism has been the dominant economic policy for centuries and there haven’t been any major cultural shifts like the ones they talk about. I think the authors are a little distracted with the increase of technology that we have seen over the past century but, looking back at technological innovation, every discovery and improvement was, at some point, the pinnacle of technology. When Alan Turing invented the Turing machine, the predecessor of modern computers, the world changed. This innovation was multiple times more monumental than say Intel developing a 64-core processor. As a race, we have gone through a number of world-shattering innovations and have yet to see this societal shift Lewis and Maslin talk about which makes me question if it will come through the capitalistic way.

I think capitalism is much more likely to lead to the second option of collapse. While innovation may not lead to a large societal shift, it could very well lead to an increased chance of societal collapse. I think the most obvious example of this increased chance of collapse is with technological innovation. As technology continues to develop, become more mainstream, and become more affordable for the average consumer, there becomes more opportunities to use it for harm. A prime example of this is the rise in hacking and other related cyber-crimes. Hacking is a new tool of destruction that has only come about because of innovation and completely changed the landscape of privacy and online protection. If this trend continues, it is easy to assume that the tools available to the average person will become more powerful and destructive. We can see this with the hacking of large Bitcoin exchanges and who’s to say that this won’t expand into more mainstream financial services like banks.

I am a bit conflicted on the last section that talks about the possibility that we see a societal shift. I think the authors make some valid points on how innovation is leading to changes in society that could, at some point, lead to a large change in society but they also make some points that I don’t quite agree with. For example, they talk about the global economy doubling four times this century which would increase the total size by 16 times. In regards to this, the authors say, “Could we fit a 128-hour week into every working day?” I think this is a completely ridiculous and disregards all the talk of the capitalistic method they talked about in previous sections. This quote asserts that the people working will have the same tools as they do in today’s world but with a 16 times larger economy, that is simply untrue. In order to increase the economy that much, innovation is going to be needed which will make work more efficient that will allow the economy to grow that much. Another problem I had was a bit absurd but I also think it is worth mentioning. Throughout this whole chapter, Lewis and Maslin talk about this grand societal shift but never provide as much as a glimpse as to what this could entail. While I concede that it is obviously hard to imagine what a brand new societal norm will look like, Lewis and Maslin take their healthy share of jabs at capitalism without giving a better alternative which I think is common in today’s day in age. I do agree that capitalism isn’t a perfect system but I also think it is the best system we have at our disposal.

I think that this reading was awesome to wrap up our class. While talking about topics we have seen throughout the semester, this reading also does a great job of planting ideas in the readers mind that will continue to be thought about long after this class ends. This class did a great job of taking ideas that I thought I knew a lot about and really flushed them out and made me more confident in discussing them with others. Lastly, this class did a great job, similarly to the reading, at planting ideas in our heads that don’t quite have answers but will continue to be in our minds as we move forwards with our lives.

Word Count: 1609

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bookedsuccess · 5 years

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DAY FORTY THREE

The Book “Strangers to Ourselves” in Three Sentences

Summary by James Clear

We do not realize how much the nonconscious mind impacts our behavior and personality. In many cases, the nonconscious mind influences our behavior more than our conscious thoughts do and the two minds will often conflict with one another, which can make it difficult to keep our desires and our actions in alignment. The first step to bringing our nonconscious inclinations into alignment with our conscious desires is to act more like the person we want to be.

Strangers to Ourselves summary

This is my book summary of Strangers to Ourselves by Timothy D. Wilson. My notes are informal and often contain quotes from the book as well as my own thoughts. This summary also includes key lessons and important passages from the book.

This book answers two main questions: why it is that people often do not know themselves very well. And how they can increase their self-knowledge.

Much of what we want to know about ourselves resides outside of conscious awareness.

The idea that a large portion of the human mind is nonconscious was Freud's greatest insight.

Not only can we study what people are thinking, we can study what goes on inside people's heads that even they can't see.

Many of the discoveries by psychological researchers appeared to occur outside of the conscious thoughts of the people they studied.

The mind operates most efficiently by relegating a good deal of high-level mental processing to the nonconscious.

The adaptive nonconscious mind does an excellent job of sizing up the world, setting goals, initiating action, and warning people of danger.

We often refer to the human mind as a single entity. In reality, it is a collection of many processes that work in concert with one another. It is a system of thinking with various mental feedback loops.

The mind is a well-designed system that is able to accomplish a great deal in parallel. You can perform a conscious behavior and a nonconscious one at the same time.

William Hamilton noted that the human mind can attend to one thing nonconsciously while performing another behavior consciously. Such as drifting to another train of thought while reading aloud.

William Hamilton theorized that habits acquired early in life had a distinct effect on nonconscious mental processes.

Fascinating: Freud didn't believe experiments and the scientific method could reveal insights about the nonconscious mind. He thought only careful clinical observation could do that. Which might explain how he ended up with so many unscientific theories.

It is not possible to access our nonconscious minds, thus one of the best strategies we have is to work backwards by running experiments, examining our behavior, and coming up with a theory that, while unlikely to be perfectly accurate, is useful enough to shed insight on our nonconscious behavior and help adjust our future actions.

We could not have a conscious mind without a nonconscious one. We need all of the nonconscious processes (like proprioception) to function properly. Just like a computer screen needs the hardware and software for any image to appear.

We often mistakenly equate nonconsciousness with inattention. The nonconscious is composed of mental processes that are inaccessible to consciousness but that influence judgments, feelings, or behavior.

Your brain processes 11 million bits of information per second via the five senses. This was calculated by counting the number of receptors on each sense organ and nerve signals being sent to the brain. Your eyes alone process 10 million pieces of information per second. Yet, you can only consciously process 40 of them (and that's a high-end estimate). The vast majority of life lives in the nonconscious mind.

The typical explanation for why our nonconscious mind developed is an evolutionary one. Those mental processes were selected for by evolutionary pressures. It's just a theory, but a good theory.

The world is “one great blooming, buzzing confusion.” -William James

Cocktail Party Effect: tons of people are talking, but you tune them out and focus on your conversation. Then, someone nearby mentions your name in conversation and you suddenly pick up what they are talking about. Were you listening the whole time? You must have been because you heard your name, but you felt fully engaged in the first conversation. Your brain is pulling in tons of information, but only consciously thinking about some of it. This is selective attention.

The adaptive nonconscious helps our brains deal with situations where there is a lot to analyze but only a small slice of information that matters. It allows your brain to act like a spotlight and highlight what is happening on center stage while keeping the rest of the theater in the dark.

Accessibility of information actually has a neurological component. Information can be “energized” and has higher action potentials when it is easier to recall.

When it comes to maintaining a sense of well-being, we are ultimate spin doctors of information. We will twist, confuse, contort, and ignore whatever information we need to maintain our sense of self. Daniel Gilbert refers to this as the psychological immune system, which fires up whenever we are trying to protect our psychological well-being.

What makes us feel good depends on our cultures, our personalities, and our level of self-esteem. But our desire to feel good is probably universal.

Psychological defenses operate frequently in the nonconscious because that way we don't even realize distortion is occurring (if you realized, you could correct for it).

The conflict between the desire to be accurate and the need to feel good about ourselves is one of the major battlegrounds of the self.

Nonconscious processes, though generally beneficial, are not perfect.

Evolutionary pressures influence our mind as well as our bodies.

It is reasonable to assume the adaptive nonconscious is an older system from an evolutionary perspective. Conscious thought evolved later in human history.

Idea: I’m not so sure we need to make a hard division between the conscious and nonconscious mind. It might help us understand and discuss the two systems, but in reality, they are both part of the same body. Humans are constantly taking in information. Some of it is known to us and some of it is unknown.

Idea: the body is just a collection of many systems or feedback loops and the vast majority of the systems are nonconscious (digestive system, for example). There is at least one conscious system, which is our conscious mind.

The adaptive nonconscious cannot think about the past or make plans for the future. It lives in the here and now.

The ability to think about and plan for the future endows human with a tremendous survival advantage, but can be a two-edged sword if our conscious decisions conflict with our nonconscious desires.

Automatic thinking has five defining features: nonconscious, fast, unintentional, uncontrollable, and effortless.

Study by Lepper, Greene, and Nisbett found that children (around the age of 3) who were rewarded for drawing were less likely to draw during free time. Presumably, they applied the discounting principle without knowing it. (“I drew with the pens and was rewarded, thus I must have been drawing because I was rewarded and not because I actually like drawing.”) This discounting principle holds up in adulthood as well where we often find that people actually are less likely to follow through on behaviors they previously enjoyed if they start receiving external rewards for them.

Very young children may have a nonconscious mind that drives their behaviors earlier in life than their conscious mind.

The adaptive nonconscious learns patterns easily. It is designed to scan our environment and detect patterns.

Evolution works with what it has.

“Personality is the psychological processes that determine a person's characteristic behavior and thought.” -Gordon Allport

Research has revealed five key traits that are fundamental to all people: extroversion, emotional stability, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and openness to experience. These traits are viewed as the fundamental building blocks of personality that everyone possesses to some degree.

Typically, genetic factors have been found to account for 20-50 percent of the variance in these personality traits.

In the late 1960s, Walter Mischel noticed that the many ways of analyzing personality only predicted behavior to a modest degree at best. Meanwhile, the social situation provides much stronger clues.

The central thesis of this book is that human personality resides in two places: the adaptive nonconscious mind and in conscious construals of ourselves.

“Human beings owe a surprisingly large proportion of their cognitive and behavioral capacities to the existence of an automatic self, of which they have no conscious knowledge and over which they have little voluntary control.” -Jonathan Miller

Many personality studies predict behavior only slightly better than chance.

Three desires seem to be part of the nonconscious personality: the need for affiliation, power, or achievement.

When people are describing their own personalities, they are often reporting their theories and constructions, which may or may not correspond to their nonconscious dispositions and motives.

It is clear that genetics, culture, and experience all play a role in the formation of the conscious and nonconscious mind.

Behavior automaticity (forming habits) is one example of how a behavior can go from conscious to nonconscious and we can't say precisely how.

One way something can become automatic (nonconscious) is through lots of repetition and practice.

McClellan's research: the kinds of early childhood experiences that affect the nonconscious seem to have a cultural basis.

It makes little sense to talk about humans having one “self” when the conscious self and the nonconscious self have stable ways of responding to situations (which often differ significantly).

People are motivated to see themselves through rose-colored glasses. Most of us believe we are a little more kind and smart and generous than we actually are.

Research by Joachim Brunstein and Oliver Schultheiss has shown the importance of having conscious and nonconscious motives in sync. People who had more alignment between their conscious and nonconscious goals had greater well-being and satisfaction than those who did not.

The distinction between personality and the social environment is artificial because people’s personality often determines how they construe their environment.

Many social situations tend to be so powerful that virtually everyone construes them in the same way and they overpower personality differences.

There may not be any situations in life where the nonconscious mind does not impact our behavior. If that is true, however, it is very hard to know it because our nonconscious mind is inaccessible to us directly.

The idea that conscious thoughts cause behavior is vastly overrated. Instead, it is often the case that nonconscious stimuli cause both you actions and the conscious thoughts you use to justify them.

Our reasons for why we do the things we do are really just conjectures. That's a hard idea to accept. We want to believe we understand ourselves and our motives better than a stranger would, but that doesn't always appear to be the case.

The idea that we can have nonconscious feelings and emotions is controversial. Many philosophers and scientists reject the idea of nonconscious feelings as an oxymoron.

William James believed that emotions are created by experiences and bodily reactions. It is the experience that triggers the emotion.

There are different levels of processing within the brain. Wilson refers to them as the low road and high road. Kahneman calls them System 1 and System 2. The point is the same: we have a collection of processes that respond quickly and automatically. And we have a collection of processes that respond slowly, thoughtfully, and often adjust the reactions of the fast processing level.

When people are unsure of how they feel, they often understand their emotions based on their bodily responses in that moment (think: love on the bridge study).

When it comes to happiness and sadness, only recent events matter. This is especially true for adolescents who can return to their baseline mood within 45 minutes after a spike of extreme happiness or extreme sadness.

People are more resilient than they realize.

There is some evidence that happiness is a heritable trait. Monozygotic twins have similar levels of happiness even when raised in separate families.

It is very important to have something to work toward. The pursuit of a goal is often better than the accomplishment of it.

Daily absorption in your work is more important than your paycheck.

A change in standards often occurs for people as they experience more of life, but happiness rarely does. What was once special is now the norm.

How we judge an experience depends on three factors. First, how we group experiences for comparison (all restaurants vs. Greek restaurants). Second, how recently we experienced something (eating an incredible restaurant last week vs. last year). Third, how much we have experienced something (100 Greek restaurants vs. two).

Allostasis vs. homeostasis. In homeostasis, there is a single set point the body tries to maintain. In allostasis, there are upper and lower boundaries at the extremes, but the set point adjusts based on the needs of the situation.

It can be useful to think of happiness by using blood pressure as a metaphor. Sometimes blood pressure is maintained at a lower level (like when you sleep) and other times it is maintained at a higher level (like when you are walking around). There is no on perfect blood pressure because the best level depends on what is required for the situation. However, it is advantageous for blood pressure to never get too low or too high. Happiness is similar. We can experience waves and troughs of happiness and sadness, but it’s best to not stay at this level for days or weeks. There are mechanisms in place that prevent you from experiencing prolonged periods of extreme happiness and extreme sadness, and the psychological costs that would accompany prolonged emotional reactions. It is probably not good for us (from the perspective of evolutionary survival) to stay in a state of prolonged happiness or sadness.

Opponent Process Theory helps explains what happens at a physiological level when processes oppose one another. Perhaps psychological processes follow similar patterns?

Interesting: we seek to make sense of and explain extreme negative and positive events in our lives, but in the process of doing so we reduce the novelty, surprise, and emotional power of the event. Gradually the extraordinary becomes ordinary and loses its emotional impact.

Some researchers have theorized there is a psychological immune system responsible for emotional health the same way there is a biological immune system responsible for physical health.

Durability bias: we don't realize just how resilient we are. People have a far greater ability to bounce back than they assume.

“There is no tragedy so heartbreaking as introspection.”

Pennebaker's approach for dealing with traumatic events: write by yourself for 15 minutes per day for three days. Develop a meaningful narrative that helps explain the event.

Ruminating over negative events in a repetitive way is not healthy and beneficial. However, thinking through your issues and constructing a meaningful and coherent narrative about these events is an effective way to deal with issues. Even if the narrative is not 100 percent accurate it can have a beneficial effect.

Subliminal messages have little to no effect on consumer behavior when used in advertising.

There is little harm in believing we are better, more popular, and more talented than we actually are. This likely leads to more happiness and satisfaction. The problems occur when our self estimates deviate too wildly from reality.

If we want to change our adaptive nonconscious one method is to start deliberately acting like the person we wish to be.

Observations of our own behavior can be a major window into ourselves and why we act the way we do. The problem is we often infer the wrong reasons for our behavior. Namely, we drastically underestimate the power of the situation.

Our tendency to underestimate the influence of the situation is known as fundamental attribution error.

In many cases, we actually want our nonconscious tendencies to change and align with our conscious motives and desires.

“We acquire virtues by first having put them into action. We become just by the practice of just actions, self-control by exercising self-control, and courageous by performing acts of courage.” -Aristotle

The first step to changing our nonconscious inclinations is to change our behavior. Act your way into a new way of being.

There are two ways our actions lead to change at the automatic, nonconscious level. The first is by providing the opportunity for our brains to infer from our behavior (nonconsciously) that we are new people. It gives your mind new data and more bits of insight about your attitudes and feelings. (Note: this is similar to your identity votes concept.) Second, the more frequently we perform a behavior, the more automatic it becomes.

One of the most enduring lessons of social psychology is that behavior change often precedes changes in attitudes and feelings. Changing our behavior to match our desired conscious perceptions of ourselves is a good way to bring about changes in the adaptive nonconscious.

A simple approach to becoming better: do good, be good. By acting in ways that are helpful and caring toward others, we will view ourselves as more helpful and caring.

There is a practice effect associated with acting like the person you want to be. The more you practice it, the better you become.

Small changes in behavior can lead to small changes in your self-concept. And small changes in self-concept can make the next change easier.

Do the behavior first and let the feelings follow.

To establish a desirable pattern of nonconscious motives, the best advice is to practice, practice, practice. Train yourself into the nonconscious mind you want.

There is no direct pipeline to the adaptive nonconscious. It must be inferred by taking a careful look at cues from your own behavior and others reactions.

What matters most when it comes to making sense of our lives and is that people commit to a believable narrative that corresponds reasonably well to their adaptive nonconscious. You can’t keep revising your story and the reasons for why things happened without ruminating senselessly. A good self narrative does not need to be constantly retold.

All of us have the ability to act more like the person we want to be.

#DAY43

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joshuabradleyn · 6 years

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3 Things I Hate (But Still Do Every Day)

We’ve all got things we don’t like.

And some things we even hate. For the most part, these are things that just don’t jive with our worldview or our tastes. A movie or a type of music, a political or social issue. A type of food or drink.

And those things are largely matters of taste—and, to be fair, if you don’t like them, stay the hell away.

But when it comes to activities, most of the time we hate things for the wrong reasons.

Most of the time, we don’t hate doing things because of how we feel about them; we hate them because of how they make us feel about ourselves.

For example, if you made a list called “activities I “hate” and another called “things I’m bad at,” you would notice a lot of crossover.

It makes sense: we’re bad at things we dislike because we avoid them and don’t practice them—so we never get better at them.

What you don’t realize is that it’s actually the other way around. You aren’t bad at them because you avoid them; you avoid them because you’re bad at them.

Going a level deeper, we tell ourselves that you hate the activity. In reality, we hate being bad at it.

If you’re bad at something, you feel badly about being bad at it. So you avoid the activity to avoid the feeing you get from being bad at it. As a result, you never get better at it. The next time you have to do that activity, you’re just as bad and if not worse, and you hate the feeling even more.

This is called a negative feedback loop. We’ve all got them, for different activities.

And for the most part, they don’t impact our lives in any meaningful way.

I’ve got a negative feedback loop with basketball: I suck at it and hate sucking at it, so I just don’t play…etc, etc, etc.

Not playing basketball has zero effect on my life.

I’m sure you’ve got things like that. Maybe you hate dancing because you’re a bad dancer—outside of weddings, that’s not even going to register. Maybe you hate skiing because you’re a bad skier; doesn’t really matter, since snow covered mountains are pretty easy to avoid.

BUT. There are some things we avoid that are good for us.

Things we should be doing, even if we “hate” them because we’re bad at them. Things we should take the time to practice, and improve at because being good at them is going to make our lives better, improve our health, or help us in other ways.

And if you practice these things long enough, you’ll stop sucking at them, and you might just stop hating them.

You know what I’m talking about.

Chances are you didn’t always LOVE working out. And just about everyone is pretty bad at it when they start out. You did it because you knew it would help you hit your goals. Along the way, you developed skills and stopped hating it because you were no longer bad at it.

In other words, you crossed the proficiency threshold.

This is the point at which you develop enough skill to detach from the negative emotion brought about by being bad at something, and objectively assess whether you actually enjoy it.

But that’s something you need to work at. ESPECIALLY if you know the activity is something you need to be doing.

And that leads me into a quick group of things I am personally working on.

Three Things I “Hate” Because I’m Bad at Them, But Do EVERY Day

Like anyone else, I have stuff that I avoid because I’m bad at it, which makes me dislike it.

Unfortunately, I have a habit of avoiding things I know are very good for me, and that I need to be doing.

I’m working on changing this, so I’m currently doing these things EVERY day.

Meditation

This is the easiest and most obvious one, so I’ll start here.

Man, I suck at meditation. I’ve avoided it for years. Even though I know it’s great for concentration, creativity, happiness—all the things I need more of in my life.

And still, I avoided it. Because I hated how bad I was at it.

Something that has comforted me is the realization that EVERYONE kinda sucks at meditation. Because it’s hard. I’m probably worse than most people, but still.

I actually wrote an entire article about this, so I won’t rehash overmuch. But at somepoint, I decided that I needed the benefits more than I needed to avoid feeling stupid for being bad at it.

So I dove in.

Now, I meditate for 10-15 minutes every morning.

I use a few apps to help me. One is called Headspace, which you may have heard of. The other is called Sphere, which is new.

I’ve been doing this for several months now.

And guess what? I’m STILL horrible at it. But I’m not as horrible as I used to be. And I’ve definitely seen drastic improvement in concentration and discipline.

You absolutely need to be meditating, and you can do it in just 10-15 minutes.

Writing By Hand

I know it might seem odd for someone who writes for a living to avoid writing in any capacity, but, yeah. I do.

Here’s the thing: I have terrible handwriting.

Truly bad. It’s always been messy—I blame this on being left handed—but in addition to being unskilled, I’m now also unpracticed. I haven’t had to write much by hand since college. And that was like 15 years ago.

Predictably, by limiting my practice over 15 years at this thing I was already bad at, I’ve gotten even worse at it.

My handwriting is messy by default, but whenever I need to write something by hand, I put in a lot of effort to keep it need. This is physically exhausting (my hand cramps) and very slow.

Even writing out a birthday card can take me 10 minutes…if I want the recipient to actually be able to read it.

Of course, you don’t NEED to write things by hand, but it’s something you SHOULD be doing.

Writing by hand (rather than on a computer or phone) improves memory, focus, and there’s even been evidence to suggest that it helps prevent the onset of conditions like dementia and Alzheimer’s.

On top of that, I personally find that writing by hand allows me to be more freely creative, and not suffer from writer’s block.

So, this is something I really can’t avoid just because I have bad handwriting.

Which is why I’ve been doing it every single day for the past few weeks.

Here’s how I work it into my day: I take 5-10 minutes in the morning to write in my little leather-bound notebook. My goal is to keep my handwriting neat, and I’m always working to go faster the previous day.

I’m not journaling (I do that at night); I just write down a few errant thoughts, my to-do list for the day, and either a song lyric or a quote from a book or movie that’s been on my mind.

Today, I wrote this:

“There is one rule, above all, for being a man: whatever comes, face it on your feet.”

—Robert Jordan, The Great Hunt (Volume 2 of The Wheel of Time)

It’s just been in my head lately.

Over the last few weeks, my handwriting has gotten a little better and my hand is cramping less. I’m not winning any calligraphy awards, but I’m less terrible than I was.

And you know what? I hate it a lot less.

You NEED to be writing by hand. At least if you want to be creative and prevent Alzheimer’s. Just 5 minutes a day, yo. DO IT.

Yoga

Okay. This is the big one.

First, let me establish this. I avoided yoga like the plague for years and years and years. Occasionally, someone would drag me to a yoga class and I would HATE it.

I was really bad at it. And everyone in the class was good. And that made me feel terrible.

And I knew I needed yoga. EVERYONE needs yoga.

It’s great for flexibility, stability, mobility, and balance.

I tried to convince myself that I didn’t need yoga, that it wasn’t “for me” because I get everything I needed from training with weights.

But you know what makes you better at training with weights, and makes it more effective?

Yoga.

Because in addition to helping you develop strength in new ways, the aforementioned flexibility, stability, and mobility help you avoid injuries—which is the primary thing that derails people.

Yoga is also great for active recovery—which means that you can use it to help you make more progress on days between weight training if you’re trying to gain muscle. If you’re trying to lose fat, it’s a great way to burn extra calories and facilitate recovery without adding too much intensity.

The thing is, even knowing all the benefits of yoga, I could never stick with it long enough to cross the proficiency threshold. I just always sucked, and gave it up, and then avoided it for a long time.

Over and over and over.

Now, at 34 years old, I need yoga more than ever.

So, I decided to cut out the anxiety that committing to a 60-minute yoga class was giving me and start with just a few, simple 15-20 minute yoga flows that I can do at home.

ANYONE can free up 15-20 minutes a day. Even if it’s for something they “hate” — as long as it’s going to help them feel and perform better.

Even a meathead like me isn’t too busy or too inflexible or too stubborn to do a 15-minute yoga flow.

So, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.

Normally, I do this before I head to the gym, OR in the middle of the day when I need a break from work and realize I’ve been sitting for way too long.

I’m not going to tell you I like yoga.

I’m not even going to tell you I don’t hate it. And I’m certainly not going to say I don’t suck at it anymore.

BUT – it’s only 15-20 minutes. And that’s not that bad. I’m feeling better, too. My joints are less achy, my lower back isn’t quite as angry at me. AND, my shoulders are looking denser and more vascular, which is sick.

Yoga will possibly change your body and your life. But, if you’re like me, you’ll still suck at it and you may never stop hating it.

But do it anyway, because you’re only entitled to one body, and once you break it you gotta deal with that.

Give it a shot today.

Now, I’m going to skip over my usual pitch for my coaching program because by now you know about the outrageous results that my clients get, so I’ll just say that we currently have a couple of spots open for anyone looking to gain some more muscle or lean up over the next few months.

If that’s you, let’s talk.

>>> Click here to apply. <<<

I can’t wait to work with you.

The post 3 Things I Hate (But Still Do Every Day) appeared first on Roman Fitness Systems.

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#3 Things I Hate (But Still Do Every Day)

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albertcaldwellne · 6 years