#this posts just make me hate myself more

[sleepyiampleaseletmein]

it is fine and good to be dramatic Sometimes be edgy be cringe pee pee poo poo

#lol #lmao #jk #die #I've never had any true intention to kms but the desire to say when I'm even a little bit upset id so strong #I think it is sort of a self defense of the ego #I can say whatever cringe I want and then say that and I have made it clear to any listener that I already hate myself so they shouldn't bo #ther #when I say kms what I actually mean is that I know I'm cringe I know I am selfish I know that I am weak #mostly the cringe part #self awareness is a curse #I know claiming to self awareness is usually indicative of a lack of it but I am so tired #my inability to express the tone I want in writing makes it all sound so edgy but I guess that is how I read similar posts as well #I will never be viewed as what I truly am #I should just try projecting the best image I can #this posts just make me hate myself more

[naturecalls111]

#black leg sanji #red leg zeff #one piece #comic #fanart #sanji vinsmoke #< the tag I use more often so just for easy navigation on my blog. #my dog of 17 years passed the other night and god knows I suck at processing things #I wanted a way to distract myself but I couldn’t Really distract myself so. #when I woke up after drawing this comic I hated how I wrote the end part #my brain was muddled so words weren’t coming to me the way I wanted it to #I was going to change it before posting it here but that feels… disingenuous. so I’m keeping it #my puppy’s name was Sunny. it’s silly of me but it makes me feel even closer to one piece now #anyway sorry for rambling #I miss my big baby

[genericpuff]

vent post

#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once” #i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO #anxiety is a hell of a thing #and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever #i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up #and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken #but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship #i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it #i am cringe and i am free #self post #vent post #altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read #too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll #i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made #i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol #i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim #i think both things can be true #i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like #while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium #“perfectly balanced as all things should be”

[lunarharp]

into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.

the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.

for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.

the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.

but they were never whole to begin with, were they?

qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.

olly says nothing.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new. #*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground* #someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything #maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory #and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey #and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all #and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them. #the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao #idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲 #i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore #so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol #and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to #and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them. #i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly #but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.

[stiffyck]

Starting to dislike desert duo and how dysfunctional the fandom makes them be.

Like canon is one thing but idk the fandom desert duo has been wearing on me.

One of the tropes I absolutely hate is Grian pushing Scar away and being a dick because he doesn't wanna hurt Scar and then hurting scar in the process and Scar then comforting him.

Grian hurt Scar so why is Scar the one comforting him.

#if you like this kind of stuff good for you #but im just really fucking tired of it i cant lie #man i just want fluff djvkfkgkdkf #stiff talk #stiff angy #not even angy more like annoyed and tired #desert duo neg #hate that im tagging that because i do love deset duo but its just this particular interpretation that makes my blood boil #gonna make fluffy desert duo shit for myself tomorrow <3 #if you get mad at me or smt because kf this post i literally do nkt care just unfollow me or whagever #idk how else to tag this

[eebie]

i cant keep it hidden any longer

#i get nervousss n shit about gettin character voices all wrong #i spent all of yesterday worryin about if theyd say each others first names or last names or WHAT ! idkkk #i didnt write any more than this But i rlly rlly want to #basing this over the exact types of convos me n my friend have When i watch her play granny #i say dumb shit like ooohhh shes gonna get you Or why are you so mean to this old lady😢😢😢 to rile her up🤭 cos its funny #and then when i run out of things to say i start asking shitty would you rather questions like Would you rather make out with granny #or springtrap. would u rather have to be angel dust Hazbin hotel(she HATES him) or Pinkypills william afton (also HATES) #idk how id write that for these guys. ik theres gotta be a way though #my rambles #homestuck #writing feels more vulnerable than just my silly ass drawins Cos its lettin ppl peek in2 how i think n perceive shit . its intimidatinggg #but im posting it anyways !! ill fight off the urge to delete it the best i can #sayin all this Meanwhile it’s just a few lines from a pesterlog emulator LMAO . i take myself too seriously w stuff like this #rhas my problem i think . joviality come to me NOW! i am lighthearted and carefree about rhis #yaaaayayayaaayy!!!! #FOR THOSE WHO DONT KNOW. GRANNY IS A SHITTY MOBILE PUZZLE HORROR GAME. THE OG !!! #all the shit like Piggy on roblox. thats copying granny 😤😤😤😡😡😡 #my drabbles

[solargeist]

despite my previous post, I don’t know how to handle when people talk abt things I don’t know or understand bc I focus too hard on my own reactions so I don’t accidentally offend them bc there’s only so many times you can say “oh really?” before you sound sarcastic ‼️💥

#LIKE I DONT WANNA ONE RESPONSE THEM BC I HATE THAT TOO YKNOW !! #i get saur nervous #it’s an even tighter pickle when it’s a media I dislike bc I don’t like lying or being rude so I go into customer service mode #but usually I’m interested or like to hear without wanting to seek it out myself #but it’s one of those social skill (?) struggle moments where I don’t know what to do but I try . but end up nervous #job interview ass #‘’right! yeah. uh huh! really!’’ (I feel like the devil !!!) #ALSO THIS IS ALL WORSE IN PERSON BC I WILL NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT AND I THINK IT MAKES ME LOOK SOO BORED BUT IM JUST TRYING TO HEAR #ur honour im turning my ears toward you #also looking at peoples face make me feel exposed and I will immediately focus more on my position again #there is just too much work ‼️‼️‼️‼️🤮🤮🤮🤮 #ive stopped trying with the eyes it’s too stressful my heart races #in my head I’m like And this is where I ask a specific question abt this part of the topic ! as if it’s a puzzle (it’s a puzzle to me) #i Hope i dont sound like a hypocrite I was mostly joking in my other post I think I’m aware of when I’m doing too much phphph

[anothermonikan]

Ponee (It is half 3 in the morning)

#hey she didn't actually come out too bad! #I didn't show the last time I tried to draw Sunny but it didn't look great ehe ^^; #I think Ponies are gonna have to be a digital art only thing for now cause I had the select and drag so many elements of this #to make this look right sahsdhdshsdh #Yeah despite liking ponies since I've became a conscious thing I never drew them a bunch #and well. that's because I didn't start drawing properly until I was like. 11 years old. and I was super into something else then ehe ^^; #Sorry to get personal in the tags of an mlp art thing but I do think about how I always wanted to draw but like. #I was such a chronic perfectionist as a little little kid??? I HATED everything I tried to make XD #It makes me a little sad yknow? cause like. most kids don't give a shit they just draw whatever and it's beautiful and amazing #it makes me sad that I didn't allow myself to have that! I worked backwards IG lmao #little 6 year old hating everything she tried to make for not being perfect to me now where I love when my art is full of imperfections #that's the point of art!!! Have fun!!! It doesn't need to be perfect or even “good”! #because art is about expression yknow? and drawing stuff you like! #sorry this only took like an hour this should be on a more high-effort drawing sdhdhdshsd #Also um hi to the person who followed me for MLP G5 art?? I mostly post about puters and Ultrakill and Rain World here #But I do really love ponies I need to draw them more often XD #this is my whatever blog. I post whatever interests me here hehe #MLP #MLP G5 #Android Arts #Android.txt

[martyrbat]

[ID: an uncoloured drawing for a panel next to the publicized version. They're both from the comic Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #194. In them, Batman is shown from the waist up. He's looking at Jim Gordon, who's off panel, with a penitent expression after being accused of something he secretly did do. He has his palm pressed against his chest and is blocking the bat emblem as his other hand is clasped ontop of it. In the initial drawing, there's a halo floating above his head as well as several tiny hearts mixed in with the lights that surround him. In the publicized panel, the hearts and halo has been removed and two speech bubbles have been added. He's in front of a terra rose background and is starting to say, “Jim, I don't even know what you're...” But Jim cuts him off, saying, “Stop it. I'm tired of this.”

The third photo is a description of the drawing from the artist's (Seth Fisher) website. It reads: This is another page that the DC editors changed: no halos or hearts around Batman, no matter how (disingenuously) contrite he is. In the final edition, the halo and heart in the center bottom frame have been excised.]

#happy sad boy sunday !!! #this counts because he's getting broken up with and because im sad bc they removed the halo and hearts #included the link to the website on the word too :3 in case any of u wanted to see his unpublished work too #deleting a big ol rant that no one cares about but basically: #hate seeing how much creativity and personality gets edited and removed despite it being the artist's job & how you have rememberable #and remarkable art. i get the editors got an important job but at the same time at what point do you allow art and personality to exist #just to make comics more fun to read/look at instead of basing everything on a capitalistic stoic reputation that #youre responsible for creating?? turning batman into a symbol of unwavering compassion and empathy and the reminder theres always stars #even on the darkest night if you remember to look up. him going from being a symbol of hope and humanity to being a character #that cant fucking have a heart or visual compassion out of fear they cant market him more or ruin that fragile reputation. #they make editing decisions based on it as a product instead of it as a character/story or an artform and god does it show. #happy sad boy sunday bc shutting down artistic freedom and expressionism for capitalistic reasonings is making me want to shoot myself 🥰🥰 #c: batman: legends of the dark knight | i: 194 #crypt's panels #batman #posts from the crypt

[camellcat]

WTFFF I thought thirteen would be my new girl crush love of my life heart eyes wife you-came-after-twelve-you-must-be-better-than-they're-all-saying bbygirl and then I had to sit down and watch as she told a man who (if he were not a murderer, of course) literally every regeneration before her would've LOVED and FULLY SUPPORTED that "the systems aren't the problem. how people use and exploit the system, that's the problem. people like you" </33333 !?!?

#WHERE IS THAT POST THAT SAID NINE WOULD KILL THIRTEEN FOR BEING A CLASS TRAITOR #WHY WOULD YOU SAY “ERODE PEOPLE'S TRUST IN AUTOMATION” ALL WORRIED AND CONCERNED LIKE THAT??? #WHEN DID YOU START LIKING AUTOMATION OVER PEOPLE THINKING AND DOING THINGS FOR THEMSELVES??? #AND WHY ARE YOU TRAVELING WITH A COPPER??? WE HATE COPPERS?????? #did we FORGET into the dalek?? how about how he treated danny?? god there's so much more I can't even remember off the top of my head #(I understand soldiers are different from cops but c'mon don't even PRETEND twelve would've been any nicer if blue or danny were just COPS) #also a bit off topic bUT MAY I JUST TALK ABOUT ARACHNIDS IN THE UK FOR HALF A GODAMNED SECOND— #I know the companions are usually the ones to do the doctor's dirty work here but like #I just can't see the other doctors NOT having the business man lure the spider for being so fuckin annoying about it #like I was genuinely surprised when they had him do that whole song and dance about not doing it and then he actually just. didn't do it #the doctor LOVES fucking with evil rich business men this is PERFECT. plus why not get back at him for being awful to their companions? #absolutely gobsmacked thirteen let him act like that. I am wrong in thinking that the others would've shut his shit down a LOT quicker?? #anyways. I love jodie whittaker and it's just so upsetting to have her doctor do something so wildly off #THIRTEEN PLEASE I HAD SUCH FAITH IN YOUUU I WAS IGNORING THE HATERS AND FOR WHAT #I can SEE the other doctors in her still I can FEEL them they're there she's doing an AMAZING job but. oh my god. what did they make her do #I can't even say she feels ooc as a whole because jodie is bloody brilliant. it's just these... moments. that don't make ANY sense to me... #especially coming off of twelve?? I get the radical personality switch but that belief is a core part of the doctor. or at least I THOUGHT #thirteenth doctor #doctor who #I still love all of you who love her and reading ur posts/fics but I. will not be making any myself. I do not think.

[murmurmurl]

She's choosing what to wear on a date with Julie!!

Made this to experiment with shadows and a limited color pallette, but it took me so long because of artblock that I can barely look at it now, haha!

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #sally starlet #welcome home sally #i still feel like i need to do more with this... #but i took so long with it #so i just told myself “whatever!” #and decided to post it anyway #aghhhhhhh i hate artblock #it makes me so slow!

[godsfavoritescientist]

Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

#ford meta #actuallyautistic #everyone go read the wikipedia page for 'stilted speech' right now #long post #ford isnt very good at masking. he doesn't have the kind of (unintentional) autistic coding that is Palatable To Neurotypicals. #definitely looking-too-deeply-at-a-kid-cartoon right now but in *some* ways. a world where the majority of people think its easy to like an #-understand ford is a world that would feel safe for me to unmask in. #i truly truly hate that fully explaining my thoughts on ford requires me to say so much about myself. but god is it such a crime- #-to use a fictional character as a lens through which to try and explain to people how to be more understanding and accepting- #-of things like this. #making fun of stilted speech is so normalized that people don't even realize they're making fun of someone for being weird. #people think its Someone Thinking They're Better Than You but its something people lay awake at night wishing they could stop doing. #and yet they still end up using the Wrong Words and being labeled a Pretentious Asshole just for talking differently than the norm. #maybe there really are people out there who deliberately use big words to try and sound smarter than everyone else. I don't know. #all I know is. in a world where its pretty obvious that people who use a discongruently complex vocabulary get made fun of for doing that. #why would someone deliberately trying to impress people do something that would only get them laughed at. #sorry for being genuine on main. as if its my fault </3

[piningprecussionist]

Template by @juni38

Im going to be completely frank with you all... and admit that I read these options and wasn't sure how to take this chart,,, so uh. Under the cut is Another Version. I'd apologize but I've given you the option to keep scrolling ¯\_(･･)_/¯

(If you notice characters missing on Kim's side, I probably figured she doesn't know who they are lol)

For the record,,, if they *wanted* me to pull their hair-- *is shot several times before I can continue*

Uhh Matthew is here because I have been converted fully on he/him or enby lesbian Matthew I think. He lives in my brain rent free now, very gender. I'd pull his hair but also I think he mostly just deserves to have it played with nicely.

And Scott's here because 1) I enjoy trans Scott, 2) Kim Pine Brain Rot possibly, 3) idk he's like,, the exception. God damnit, I've fallen for the inexplicable Scott Pilgrim Effect. What the fuck--

I did think about doing this chart like everyone was actually applicable to my tastes, but even if they were I think the ones I didn't put up would have to fall on the caress side bc I just don't feel that way abt them lol.

Again, not to say that's the case for the gals over on that side,,, I just think I would want to be gentle w them shxkdjsdhbd with the exception for Lynette who probably deserves to have her hair pulled, but again I fear she would Hurt Me,,, but maybe in a fun way,,,

Anyway No One Look At Me....

(,, also,,, Ramona is so far over bc I think she would enjoy it,, otherwise she'd be closer to Kim in that section. Same thing w Roxie)

If anyone actually looks at this version, I'm not opposed to doing a version like this for Kim btw! Just ask for it so I feel like I'm not just Dropping This and scurrying away

#sp comic #meme #kim pine #id tag more people but i Do Not Have The Strength.... #also i like Living and I think the idea of more people seeing the suggestively taken one makes me want to Die a little #(not to say you cant reblog this or whatever im just being dramatic shdjejsdhdhgdd I am generally a fairly Reserved person) #for the kim chart- i based my other scott placement on the interaction theyve had here! i think if they interacted for real or more often + #+ he'd end up definitively in the Pull Roughly suggestion with most people #ooc #he maybe if i finish edits for everyone i could try this w the au stuff. kit's thoughts might be different here... #hey* #also let me know if i forgot anyone??? i thought abt including the robots but. no hair. and gideon the cat has Fur so. on technicality- #but like barring parents and peter i think i got most people #i guess if lainey was here she'd go somewhere in the middle or right? w/out knowing what she'd be like #FUCK I DIDNT MEAN TO POST THIS. I MEAN IT'S HERE NOW SO IM NOT REMOVING IT BUT I AM S C R E A M I N G I WASNT READY #ah i forgot crash and the boys actually. thats why i wasnt supposed to post this yet #uhhhh Pull Roughly for like all of them. except trasha. trasha gets head pats and a juice box #except for on Kim's chart. on Kim's chart she's in the pull roughly section I can't lie to myself. she hates that kid 😭 also on that note + #+ knives should probably be in the middle section. like she wants to pull it for her having copped her style and being stupid abt scott. #but I didn't put her there bc I feel like even if she wants to she wouldn't ya know? knives is a Precious Angel after all

[rainofthetwilight]

have been seeing this going around so i decided to make my own!!

(just a disclaimer i havent rewatched some of the seasons in a while so i did this according to what i remember)

#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #levi's ted talks #the most recent seasons ive rewatched r hunted and sog and theyre still as good and thrilling as when i first watched #a little of s1 too #i put it down there bc the writing was kinda weird BUT it was the starting point of ninjago so im never hating on it #plus the memorable moments like goddamn #i constantly rewatch s13 i love it too much #i cant bring myself to rewatch seabound bcaause knowing whats gonna happen next is so fucking PAINFUL 😭 #even tho im an angst lover the fucking seperation makes me bawl #my friend literally couldnt talk to me for a few days bc of the shock from the ending when it first came out #and to be completely honest DR is what got me fully back into the ninjago fandom #like id reblog posts n whatever but wasnt so involved #and id just rant with my friend abt it #but then when DR's release was announced i made my first post for it #(a redraw for an incorrect quote post: dig in my art tag and youll maybe find it . but beware) #and now im here with so many moots #art improvement and 3 fics and more coming aswell #how the fuck

[dizzybizz]

some magma pages from the past few days <333

@polyphonial, @2sc4rghost, @seasonalberries and @eternal-moss (oh yeah my brother also contributed a bit)

💞💖💕💓💗💘💝❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍

#hope its cool with everyone that im posting these ✌ #they make me grin like an idiot <3 #need more of this in my life #besties i would point out every little thing i love about these but my notes would be longer than i can comprehend in my sleepy state #just know these are the last things i think about before falling asleep at night and the first things i think about when i wake up in the m #orning #🥺 <333333 #i am not tagging characters or media bc i dont actively hate myself like that 😎👍 #in all of these except that last one i started drawing in the bottom right corner and i dont know why #the medicine seller page is so unhinged #in my defense it was berries that drew him first so #yesterday morning was a solo except my brother pasting in a photo of alex jones #i have... (checks downloads) ...26 versions of WWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE saved...... #i would write more here but i cannot process thoughts rn im bout to fall asleep and have been the entire day :-))) #buddy daddies #tbhk #hmc #tgcf #moomin #omori #tbna #trigun #adventure time #mononoke #mdzs #drawfee #csm #pokemon #ok yea #magma

[skitskatdacat63]

Boy King Seb :D

#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333 #he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today #this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!! #can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant #i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am' #this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!! #i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;; #okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH): #this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved) #its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph? #but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010) #its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves #seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his #so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better #whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it) #not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh #anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO #its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation #pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!) #i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos #sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 #f1 art #formula 1 art #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #catie.art. #*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such #boy king au