#this post is a personal space for me to talk about my feelings without consideration of anyone else

[siristaci]

This got really long, so it's going under a read more. It's about the potential death of an ex-family member (after finding out about a recent heart attack) and briefly mentions suspected abusive behavior.

My not-uncle-anymore R (ex-husband of my aunt J) is in the hospital. He had a heart attack two days ago. I found out yesterday. I was told he hadn't woken up yet.

He has a pacemaker, so they can't do scans*. They were supposed to do a test yesterday (something about wires on his head) and we were supposed to get the results in the evening. Apparently there is an increase in heart rate when music is played or people are speaking.

I haven't heard anything since yesterday afternoon outside of J's fb post (posted shortly after they were supposed to get the results) that said "(my cousin's) dad had a heart attack yesterday afternoon. He was taken by ambulance to the ICU. He hasn't woken up, his brain activity is almost nothing, he is on a ventilator and has developed some other complications."

My feelings on all of this are... very complicated.

J and R got married when I was about 13. They both already had many other children (nearly all boys) before getting married, and had one boy (the cousin previously mentioned) together during their marriage. Then they got divorced when I was about 21. It's been a little over 10 years since then.

I first met R at the reception. He found out I liked LOTR and showed me his Sting letter opener. He was into heavy metal. I thought he was incredibly cool.

We really only saw each other at family gatherings, and- due to us both being black sheep of the family- quickly became the other person's "I'm only going if (the other one) is going to be there." He introduced me to Twisted Sister's Twisted Christmas album. Which is one of only two Christmas albums I'll still listen to. He was so fun. I thought it was great that there was someone of an older generation that I really got along with.

But there's a reason J and R got divorced. I don't really know what. I've asked three times and gotten different answers each time.

The first time, I was told by my mom that it was because they just couldn't agree on how to raise their kids. In a tone that told me to not ask questions. I was raised mormon, so I was very good at not asking questions. For a while.

The second time, I was told that he was... very physical and overdid it when disciplining the kids. Supposedly, they got pretty hurt on more than one occasion. J obviously wasn't comfortable talking about it, so I didn't push for more information.

The third time, I was told that he wasn't abusive, he was just too immature. Maybe he'd roughhoused a little too rough with the boys a few times, and they'd gotten hurt, but it wasn't intentional or out of anger. J had decided that he was just too childish to be a dad to her kids. She still wasn't very comfortable talking about it, but assured me that he wasn't evil or anything.

I stayed fb friends with him for a few years. He mostly talked about going to metal concerts and the company he worked for that was trying to get more metal bands signed with record labels.

And then politics became something that everyone was talking about. Suddenly, R started posting more and more about the first and second amendments. Posted lots of pictures of the American flag. The term "snowflakes" was used whenever he talked about how ungrateful and soft young people are nowadays.

I quietly unfriended him and haven't spoken to him since.

I still have fond memories of R. I was sad to find out that he wasn't as great as I'd thought he was. And even sadder when (it seemed) he changed into a right-wing asshole. I know that I don't have the whole story. All I really have are the memories of him, and I really like the ones from when he and J were married.

I also know that my cousin hasn't chosen to see his dad in two years; something that could be influenced by distance, just being a teenager, or not getting along with the brothers that live with his dad. Or it could be that he doesn't want to see his abusive father.

There isn't really a point to this post. I guess I'm just getting all of my feelings out in preparation, since it seems he isn't likely to recover. I honestly don't even know what I'm hoping for- if I'm hoping for anything. I know I'll mourn the loss of life, even if I've been mourning the loss of that soul for a decade.

*Everything I'm told about this comes from my mom, who gets it from her sister, who gets it from her son, so it's quite the game of telephone and at least one of them don't regard science highly, so I don't have the proper medical terms and I very likely don't have all the information I'd get if I were speaking to a doctor directly.

#and because this is tumblr #i have to give this disclaimer: #these are complicated feelings about a complicated situation #if i go to the funeral‚ i will be respectful of those who had a difficult relationship with him #i won't invalidate their experiences #I'm actually planning on asking the cousin how he feels about me attending #i don't want to cause drama or even distraction by being there if it's not appropriate #i can mourn anywhere #the funeral isn't about me or my relationship to a guy who was my uncle for less than a decade MORE THAN a decade ago #but this post is. #this post is a personal space for me to talk about my feelings without consideration of anyone else #tw death #tw abuse #mine

[girlboypersonthingy]

can I request a list of like green flags and red flags for each of the characters in voltron? btw I love your writing:)

Hello friendo, thank you sm! Thanks for the request, I adore this idea. Also…Sorry y’all, I was posting like every other day for two weeks and then I hopped off for like two months. Oof life is really life-ing rn. I honestly chose to write this prompt before a lot of other requests bc it seems like an easy and short thing to bust out quickly. I swear, I will get to the rest eventually 🩵 keep sending in requests if you’d like! And as always… ENJOY~

KEITH ❤️

Red Flags 🚩

TERRIBLE AT COMMUNICATING. We all know Keith is stubborn and easily overwhelmed with a short temper. He doesn’t really know how to talk to people without getting angry. He feels that bc he has a hard time explaining exactly what he means, people never understand him and that makes him mad.

Bro isn’t scared of anything…and that low key scares everyone else. Like…who isn’t afraid of anything? The whole team has tried sooooo hard to figure out what will get Keith to jump out of his skin and scream like a child but to no avail… Boy just doesn’t flinch, doesn’t care, couldn’t care less about bugs and rodents and clowns and heights or anything like that.

Wears his gloves in the shower sometimes. Like wtf ???

Green Flags ✅

Also bc he is not afraid of anything, boy will protect his friends/family/partner SO HARD. He will verbally AND physically tear someone apart just for looking at you the wrong way. Very protective and caring but in a good way ya know?

Actually very selfless and not self-centered in the slightest. Keith is very giving and helpful, despite his tough exterior, he’s very caring, observant and considerate. He’ll give the shirt off his back to someone in need. He’s always down to help others. Ugh Sweet heart ❤️‍🔥

Has a sick ass space wolf that will also protect you like COSMO IS A MAJOR PLUS OKAY BIG GREEN FLAG DOGGO

LANCE 💙

Red Flags 🚩

Obvi his biggest red flag is how flirty he is. Boy will flirt with anything that breaths and that can get really annoying sometimes and affect the rest of the team.

Jealous AS FUCK. Like the petty jealous type. Lance is the kind of guy to pretend he has a partner back home just bc some alien girl he was flirting with said she had a partner already. He’s like “OH YEAH? Wow cool me too, same same, yeah….” But homie’s ego is a bit sore now…

Lies a lot. Lance just panics sometimes and tells a lie. He knows it’s wrong and he always feels guilty after lying to someone but it always just slips out. His mouth moves faster than his brain most the time.

Green Flags ✅

THE BEST HUGGER/CUDDLER OMFGGGGGG. Lance is the best hugger and cuddle buddy ever, period, end of story, try to change my mind. His long arms always stretch fully around the recipient’s torso and he squeezes tight enough to make you feel warm but not smothered. Usually will rest his chin on the other person’s head if they’re short enough (so Pidge obvi).

Very aware of other’s moods/body language/tone of voice. Everyone thinks Lance is “the dumb one” but he’s actually very in tune with what’s going on in the moment, what’s going on around him. I think he can tell how others feel the second he sees them. Good intuition kinda thing. An empath for sure.

Very considerate and often remembers the little things about people. Does he remember what he learned in class just a couple days ago? Pffft heck no! Does he remember everyone’s birthday, every year and get them a very thoughtful gift? HELL YEAHH I LOVE THIS SWEET BOY OMFG 🩵

SHIRO 🖤

Red Flags 🚩

Honestly…idfk Shiro is so perf. Perfect baby boy all the way

Maybe he could seem too nice at first…? Like when someone is nice but ur like “are you for real? Or are you fake and evil and you’re hiding something?” I think Shiro could be perceived as being fake nice at first.

Omg I feel like Shiro is one of those “ oh no, that looks delicious but I can’t. I’m watching my carbs.” YOU KNOW SHIRO IS A GYM DUDE WHO COUNTS HIS CALORIES PLZ

Green Flags ✅

ALSO AN A+ HUGGER. Imagine those big ass arms holding you so softly and so close to his big, warm body. Omg so comforting, so relaxing. Often gives a gently squeeze just before letting go and pulling away. Ugh 😩❤️‍🔥

Literally the most trustworthy man in the universe. Will defend his friends, loved ones, and planet until the end of time. Shiro would die before revealing any secrets you’ve asked him to keep. The best person to vent to bc he’ll never tell another soul about it. He’s like a personal diary

Shiro is sooooo patient. Definitely the most patient one on the team. He really does take his own advice…ya know, patience yields focus 😌 very sweet, calm man. We love Shiro

PIDGE 💚

Red Flags 🚩

GIRL WILL WORK HERSELF TO DEATH PLZ GO CHECK UP ON HER, BRING HER FOOD AND WATER, GENTLY FORCE HER INTO BED SHE NEEDS SLEEP.

Lowkey kinda moody and can get snappy very easily. Pidge is a sweet heart and very smart and a good team player but she’s also stubborn and will yell to get her point across or make herself heard (she’s an Aries…what’d you expect?)

Sometimes very conceited and braggy about how smart she is. Like yeah Pidge, we know you’re a genius and you could code in your sleep. WE GET IT. UR SMART. GEEZ 😒

Green Flags ✅

Pidge is so baby. Yeah, she can get snappy and braggy sometimes but…SHES SO BABY PLZ FORGIVE HER. She’s just young and stressed okay? Give her a break. She’ll apologize eventually with puppy dog eyes and a soft voice and while she looks adorable, she is being sincere and really wants to resolve this.

Very loyal and determined. I mean look how hard she searched and fought for her dad and brother. She won’t stop for anything or anyone once she has her mind set. Pidge Will never leave you behind and will always turn back to help someone in need.

Androgynous royalty. Pidge is soooo chill about her gender and identity. We love a confident babe 🏳️‍🌈💚

HUNK 💛

Red Flags 🚩

Boy is too scared sometimes. I think Hunk has really bad anxiety and it’s not the anxiety that is the red flag, it’s how he copes with it…which he doesn’t. Hunk let’s his anxiety get the best if him sometimes…but he’s trying.

Honestly…does Hunk really have any other red flags??? Baby boy is so sweet idk 🤷🏻

Over eats to the point of getting sick sometimes…and never learns his lesson. (Me asf)

Green Flags ✅

THE SWEETEST MOST CONSIDERATE AND THOUGHTFUL MAN IN THE UNIVERSE OMFG WHAT A SWEET HEART 😩💛 honestly just a very good guy. We love Hunk.

Obvi his cooking skills!!! Can cook for any occasion, on any cooking surface, in any conditions. Can cook so many different dishes from so many rich cultures around the world! So talented. His food always hits.

THE ABSOLUTE BEST at cheering others up. Soooo funny and silly and kind and relatable. He tries so hard to brighten others’ days when they need it. Will stop what he’s doing just to go cheer up a friend or loved one and watch them smile again.

MATT 🧡

Red Flags 🚩

Interrupts A LOT. In any given conversation, he will interrupt and talk over someone else at least once every minute. Can get really annoying sometimes but in his defense, if he waits too long to speak up, he’ll just totally forget what he was gonna say.

Like Lance, I think Matt would be overly flirty and act like a Fuck boy sometimes. Like bro sit your nerd ass down, that person is SOOO out of your league plz chill.

Can not take anything seriously (unless it comes to his family or his or anyone else’s safety) but day to day, Matt makes so many dumb and inappropriate jokes at the worst times. Ugh 😒

Green Flags ✅

Very brotherly to everyone he considers a friend or family. Protective, constantly checking up on others, making sure they have eaten, asking if they need anything from him. He cares a lot. Bonus points bc he’s a very good brother to his actual sibling too. Aww Pidge and Matt are sibling goals. 🥹

HOT AS FUCK NO MATTER HIS HAIR STYLE/LENGTH. You can fight me on this. Matt is gorg and so is his hair at every single moment throughout the show.

Extremely accepting and open minded. Matt treats everyone he meets equally and never seems phased when he meets others so different from himself. He may ask some questions for the sake of his own curiosity, but would never pass judgment on another person.

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #voltron x reader #voltron x you #vld #voltron fandom #keith voltron #keith x reader #lance voltron #lance x reader #pidge voltron #pidge x reader #shiro voltron #shiro x reader #hunk voltron #hunk x reader #matt voltron #matt holt x reader #keith vld #lance vld #shiro vld #pidge vld #hunk vld #matt vld #lance mcclain #keith kogane #pidge gunderson #takashi shirogane #hunk garrett #matt holt

[bonefall]

Ask Etiquette

HELLO sorry for the intimidating post lmao, I just need something to toss up on the masterpost because I feel bad deleting asks and then people will never really have an idea of why I never answered them

I get a ton of asks (usually anywhere from 10 - 20 a day!) and I'm not able to get to them all! I try to answer as many as possible but I'm still just one guy. So with that in mind, there are some sorts of asks I will simply not answer, and some 'requests' I have for people who send them in;

Please keep your asks short PLEASE try not to send me essays if you want a response; I still love reading them! But if you send me walls of text/analysis you are asking me to write a lot in response, which I'd rather spend on actually writing or designing cats. (On that note if you send a bunch of questions at once, the likelihood I respond goes down.)

Do not send me personal questions Listen... I'm a stranger on the internet. I'm overjoyed to see when my art connects with people and helps you realize things! But don't ask me sensitive questions like how to move out of your abusive parents' house!! PLEASE learn internet safety and get less comfortable with volunteering that kind of information to people you don't know!

Do not ask me personal questions you do not need to know what i study or where i work. get less comfortable asking these sorts of questions to queer people on the internet, especially when they talk openly about having previously been abused or stalked. (not that a person should even need to be as open about that as i am)

If I don't have a good response I won't answer Especially for suggestions I don't vibe with. I try to only say "No" if I have a particularly interesting "No" to talk about, if that makes sense! If I had to write a full explanation for every veto or idea I don't vibe with, this blog would be 90% what isn't in BB.

No AUs within the AU. "What if Hawkfrost survived his impalement? What if Firestar never joined? What if Tigerstar was never born?" Listen, buddy, you're creating an exponential distraction for possible ways the story could have gone and I'm not looking to write several essays for the literal hundreds of alternative ways Clan history could have been written. It takes you 5 words to ask "What if X never died" but it takes me paragraphs to answer. (This isn't about suggestions btw, I very specifically mean ppl asking hypotheticals for fun.)

Don't be rude. I feel like this should go without saying but please mind the parasocial gap. Especially if you're on anon, I don't know you, your backstory, or your cadence.

And, lastly, CLANMEW ASKS!!

I make a hard effort to get to everyone!! Those are published on Clanmew Day (WHICH IS NOW JUST GOING TO BE THE 30TH OF EVERY MONTH SO THAT IT'S LESS CONFUSING) but PLEASE understand I get a ton of them.

As I write this I have more than 26 tabs open of unanswered Clanmew asks, a lot more in my inbox, and 9 already in the queue. So that you understand the sheer volume of asks I have there.

If I didn't get to you that month, chances are that I'll get to you on the next, but please understand why I ask for folks to not re-send asks

So here's Clanmew-specific requests;

PLEASE just try a translation on your own first! Don't just send me raw lists of OCs to translate, give it a go first using the Lexicon, just so I can see you tried. I will happily and gladly make more specific words for you when I see you try!

When you send OCs you've translated, ask me for a new word at the end if you didn't already in your list. Just in case I can't think of a witty comment or a word suggestion, you will help me a lot

Please try to format with lists like this one Folks will send me double or triple-indented lists and it will take up my entire screen when they've only sent like, 5 names. Remember that posts you send to me go on people's dashes, be considerate please You can open a list like this by starting a new paragraph, typing -, and then an immediate space. Hold Shift + Enter to indent without adding another bullet.

If you could put "Clanmew" somewhere in your ask, like even if you open up with "Clanmew: Here is my question blah blah," it would help immensely I physically can't get to every ask I receive on Clanmew Day, so if you have "Clanmew" in your ask somewhere, it makes it a lot easier for me to find it when I can finally answer! I really wish Tumblr had ways to sort asks, but currently, I've just gotta make due with Cntrl + F.

#I currently have 900+ asks btw #Bone Babble #EDIT: See that 900+ number? It's now actually 1100+

[olliandre]

I’ve reblogged many posts about this already, but I still want to convey my own thoughts, because I simply cannot make peace with the ending. Although I’ve got issues with many things, this time I just want to talk about Mhok getting the worst treatment despite being the best character in the show.

To be honest, I saw the signs that his relationship with Day is not the best quite a long time ago, I simply chose to ignore it because I was so enchanted with the show and liked it so much. For me, the story started to be f*cked upon quite early, when the August plot began. Everything before was beautiful, since we’ve seen Day and Mhok getting to know each other better, opening up to one another, understanding the other better. Although it was Mhok who especially changed a lot for Day, supporting him in every way, I still found it endearing, since Day was in this fragile situation in which he needed someone to be there for him, help him find the light. It was so heartwarming, seeing him gradually open up to Mhok and trying new things out. I loved that for each other, they were both just normal people, Day with his vision impairment and Mhok despite being in prison. I could feel that they started to share this unique bond, that they felt things for each other. So, getting to know that Day actually likes August, felt surreal to me. They built this tension between Day and Mhok just to throw it to the trash bin.

Yes, thanks to Mhok Day could challenge those feelings and people from his past. Yes, Mhok was really important to Day and he couldn’t imagine his life without Mhok at that point. But. Was that really necessary though, to bring August in? I understand the intention that there are lots of people who pity those with life situations like Day’s, how bad it is, and that they wanted to show that Mhok is different. But. Was that REALLY necessary? They could have just showed that Day realized he didn’t really have feelings for August anymore, that Mhok took his place somehow. Day realizing how August treated him, in contrary to how Mhok was to him. They could show August pitying Day and Day getting angry and hurt over it. They didn’t have to go for what they chose. And when Mhok kissed Day after August turned out to be an asshole, it seemed so rushed, the kiss didn’t feel earned and it wasn’t satisfying at all. They made Mhok take advantage of Day while he was being vulnerable and then forcing himself on him, instead of being his safe-space like he was and still should.

I followed the show nevertheless, even if this plot point disappointed me. I wanted to see Day and Mhok together. When Day was putting this wall between them, with Mhok still flirting, it was such an imbalance. Up from this point, the show decided that to the very end it will be Mhok begging for Day’s affection, not the mutual relationship in which both sides cares about each other equally. I know that Day really started to love Mhok and I adored the rainbow scene in episode 9, because it gave such a good message of seeing without seeing, that you don’t need your vision to see things, and you don’t need to be with people who aren’t in this world anymore to be close to them. It felt like both of them grew in their own ways thanks to each other’s presence in their life. But even if Day loved Mhok, it doesn’t mean he treated him the way he should.

It was always Mhok caring about Day, being considerate of his feelings, forgiving everything and making a real effort to be close. While watching this, it just screamed to me that it was Mhok who loved more and tried more. Day, on the contrary, when Mhok made this one mistake, instead of cooling off for a few days and talking again in order to understand each other’s perspectives, like people in relationships would normally do, JUST BROKE UP WITH MHOK ON THE SPOT. For me, it showed just how shallow his love for Mhok was, to cut him off like this, instead of trying to work things out. Mhok has always been the person who encouraged him to be independent and helped him in not being as reliant on other people as he was in the past.

Yes, Mhok was a bit overprotective and liked to baby Day since their relationship started off from being a caretaker, but I have never once felt that Mhok pitied Day. He was the only one not feeling pity for him actually, the one who believed in him and encouraged him. It was so weird to me that Day could have even thought about Mhok pitying him, especially because he knew about Mhok’s trauma. He should have understanded him better, after all the time they’ve spent together. He should have had those second thoughts about his impulsive decision after thinking for a while. I’m so enraged by the fact that this one time when Mhok wasn’t perfect, when he got problems and needed Day’s support, when it was finally Day’s turn to make an effort in the relationship, Day just ended it, making Mhok this bad person who hurt him terribly. He’s hurt Mhok multiple times before, but Mhok has forgiven everything, forgotten everything. It reminded me of just how young and immature Day was.

But it wouldn’t be as bad if Day grew up after the time-skip and realized his mistake. If he apologized to Mhok that he couldn’t do better at that time, because deep down he was still a kid and he was going through a lot. If the writers couldn’t make him try to make it up to Mhok, they could have at least made him admit that his reaction too was wrong back then. But no, Mhok was pathetically begging Day to take him back instead, bugging him even after being refused to multiple times, apologizing and saying it was all his fault. Just how much Mhok can forgive Day, be the bigger person over and over again? This is going way too far and honestly, the way writers’ decisions cause him to treat Mhok, just made me dislike Day in the end. I’m aware of Day’s age, aware of how bitter and angry he was, I’m aware of his issues, that he couldn’t deal with that. I don’t blame him for that. What I blame him for, is that he didn’t actually grow in the end.

And don’t get me wrong, I loved Day and wished him the best from the beginning to end. I was hoping he and Mhok could work their issues out, mature and learn the healthy way to go about their relationship. However, after the story concluded, I’ve just realized how unlikeable Day could get at times and that the writers didn’t try to fix it at all. He was lashing out at people and didn’t feel guilty about it, I think he’s never apologized once, was always taking things from Mhok and didn’t give anything other than his very own presence in return. Even in the end, he couldn’t tell Mhok that he’s handsome. Just this small thing! And the fact that Mhok replied: „Fine. But I still love you” concluded everything they had from the beginning to the end.

I’m gonna be honest. If the writers wanted things to look this way, they may as well just let them live their seperate lifes. This is extremely unhealthy and I’m disappointed, so, so disappointed that the writers decisions basically smashed not only Mhok's, but also Day’s character in so many ways. Because yes, Day is also a victim of the script and I’m truly sorry they did him this dirty. Every character development writers had for him was trashed without a second thought.

#thai bl #last twilight #the last twilight #mhokday #mhok last twilight #mhok x day #day last twilight #mypost

[opinated-user]

Sort of a nuanced take so bear with me here-- I honestly think its a little weird that you obsessively post about every trans woman that happens to be poorly behaved. Not saying that Lily Orchard, Sophie Labelle, whoever this Poppy person is aren't doing bad things. It's just I don't know kind of strange that you have a blog all about documenting trans woman misbehavior as a non-binary person. Speaking as a trans woman you come off as transmisogynistic some times. I'm sorry it is. The only people who's bad behavior you post about are trans women. That's weird.

this blog started off talking about LO because i have seen evidence of her abusive/predatory actions to the point i felt worth talking about. she's the main focus.

P&Z came to the picture because they talked and responded to LO's lies about them. turns out they were abusive, as i have seen evidence myself and believed on their victims, and that felt worth talking about. especially since thanks to their videos on LO, the people who watched those and supported them deserve to know the kind of people who made them.

sophie labelle is a big name in trans/progressive spaces. massive even. i was a fan of her work and supported it fully until everything to do with using a irl toddler for lewd furry diaper art came out. i have only ever brought her up on that post in months to make an example of LO having a bigger issue with queer acceptance and usage than with pictures of irl babies being used for porn, so it was relevant.

EssenceOfThought made videos following on LO and then was unabled to continue doing them out of her own circunstances, so that clearly was relevant for this blog. she apologized to both Brittany and me in private for not telling us about that earlier and i have absolutely no ill will towards her or Levi. i'll probably not going to talk about her again in this blog except to say just that.

regarding all of them, i have never, ever, encouraged or supported any kind of harrassment, misgendering or transphobia against them. if anyone has any issue with any of them they can quietly unfollow or unsub. on my pinned post i put link to sites where you can download videos from youtube without giving anyone views if so people want it, encouraging, once again, to not go after any of these people for any reason.

i'm sorry that existing on the internet as a trans woman means being constantly demonized for merely existing. being used constantly as an example of a predator when you haven't done anything to deserve it it's incredibly tought and demorilizing. nobody deserves that. i don't blame you one bit for having a negative reaction when seeing transfemme being called out precisely for that, because so many bad people are going to use that as fuel to keep believing all transfemmes are the same and i hate that, i wish i could change it. for every transfemme that i discuss here i also met so many transfemme who were the sweetest, most considerate, smartest and kindest people that anyone can be.

but keeping quiet about these people is not an option either. it just isn't. they're bad people, dangerous people, who happen to have platforms where they have influence and power over vulnerable people, traumatized people, marginalized people who are desperate to feel safe somewhere. they're bad people because they chose to take advantage of the trust put on them, because they manipulated, lied and abused, not because they're trans women, and if i ever implied that then i'll dennounce it because that couldn't be further from the truth.

these people should never be used as any kind of example of how trans women are. they just happen to be trans. anyone using my blog or anything on it to further that narrative is no ally of mine and i'll block them whenever possible. if there's anything else you think i could do, please let me know.

#lily orchard #poppy&zena

[nightswithkookmin]

Okay time out

I'm reading through the comments on my last post and some of yall are wilding in there losing the whole entire plot👁👄👁

Please watch your language. I don't want to make space for anyone's hate and vitriol towards anyone. If you've been in the Fandom for more than a month you'd know Kim Taehyung is not a bad person at all. He's not. A little nuts sure but bad???? Cmon now.

If you hate him or anyone in bts this is not the space for it.

What I want is to hold space for anyone who feels disillusioned and jaded by the whole vmin situation. In case that intention didn't come through lemme reiterate. WE DON'T HATE TAEHYUNG ON THIS CORNER OF THE INTERNET.

You can talk about being disillusioned with Jikook and how you think things are not the same with them and I'll make space for that. Similarly you can talk about vmin or any ship for that matter and express your opinions about their dynamic and I'll hold space for that.

But please don't hate on nobody😔

Vmin have one of the best enviable friendships in all of Kpop. We love to see that sort of genuine love. It's healing, it's beautiful. Love in and of itself is a beautiful thing and we love to celebrate that.

And for me it's really hard to think of Kim Taehyung, the guy who threw a producer under the bus for preventing him from featuring Jimin on his song because he thought it was gay, same guy who saves fan art and recommends them to Jimin- there is a trail of moon on JMs back all thanks to Tae, when Jimin dropped Vibe he shared it to his story, he liked the post, he was commenting and interacting on JMs posts- when JK was silent as well. He even said he had saves a video of JM he was going to post on Jms birthday!

How is this person then a bad person at all. I don't understand. Can we talk about this one mishap without rubbishing and invalidating all the love effort and consideration he's shown towards Jimin up until now?

Do I think he could have done more to support JM, I do. Simply because he's done it in the past. He stayed up with us to watch Vibe when it dropped!

I'm just mad at him for staying quiet and leaving fans to do all the heavy lifting when he, JK, Suga are one of the biggest PJMs on earth. I'm hurt, I'm disappointed, and yes I'm crying my eyes out over here cos everything that has happened over JMs release overwhelms me.

Or maybe I'm too much of a romantic and I keep wandering back to moments of JM running to him and comforting him and promising he'll take responsibility for him. I keep wandering back to them talking about how much they protected eachother from bullies and I hoped he would lead the chorus and stand up for Jimin this time around too.

vmin are not perfect. They have their issues. But they also have one of the best relationship dynamics in kpop. Yet I feel I can't even vent out the frustration I feel over this, over the gradual decline of their ship, Bangtan friendship, or even express my insecurities over vmin without being overly cautious so as not to enable their antis and it's so frustrating.

We can't tell them how to love eachother. We can't do that. And there's always a possibility they know something we do not know. He's closer to JM than you and I. For all you know, he isn't even aware how these things affect his own fans who support him with Jimin.

This is something Jimin is constantly aware of and is good at- self awareness- but when it comes to Jungkook and Taehyung not so much.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go back to pouting cos Tae sucks. He can step on leggos

I'm open to hearing theories about why you think he didn't say anything about Face.

No, it's not because he hates Jimin 🤺

Do you think it's because JM chose JK to do letters with and not him?🤔

Jk didn't say anything bout Vibe either and when he decided to sing that song he only knew JMs part💀🤧

Either way, he needs to make this right else I'm sending poop emojis on his next live💩

[deepspacedukat]

Dripping With Affection

I mean...were you expecting me to leave my Romulan husband off of my SoC list? I'll take any excuse to write about Letant. Enjoy!

Day 26: Come Marking

SoC prompt list here. SoC Masterlist here. Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Letant (ST:DS9) x Reader

[A/N: This is smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Interspecies sex, Human/Romulan sex, established relationship, slight jealousy (kind of?), possessive language, possessive behavior, come marking, dom!Letant, sub!reader, risk of getting caught, quickie, sex on a desk.

~*~

I could feel his glare from across the room. As palpable as the sun's rays, my husband's emotions were just as blatantly visible today as they were the day we met. I had to force myself to take a sip of my drink to hide my amused smile.

Letant had stepped away for barely a moment to speak with one of his colleagues about a private little war - political, of course - kissing my cheek and promising to return shortly. Almost as soon as he parted from me, a man's voice had sounded from beside me. Because of the high number of government officials present at this state gathering, there was plenty of security, so I wasn't exactly alarmed to find myself face-to-face with someone I didn't immediately recognize.

"My goodness, what is a lovely lady like yourself doing alone?" A rather short, plump Romulan man with cold, roving, steel-gray eyes offered what felt like a faux smile. "Perhaps I should keep you company. After all, it wouldn't do for your head to be turned by the wrong person."

I hadn't wanted to humor this stranger - in fact, I wanted to slap him for being so presumptuous - but for the sake of my husband's political career and reputation, I had to be as diplomatic as I could. Attempting to laugh off his comment in an airy, casual sort of manner, I stated that my husband hadn't left me without my own means of protection.

Though the man didn't disengage, he seemed a little more subdued, opting to make conversation rather than push his luck. He was well-behaved...for a little bit, at least. I glanced up at one of the many clocks around the room, which had been set up to keep the many officials there on schedule, and found that I'd been talking with him for twenty minutes.

How long could one man talk? I'd mostly tuned him out, nodding silently at his comments without really processing them, but something he said brought me back from my bored stupor.

"You know, if your husband doesn't come back soon, I may just have to take you off his hands. He doesn't deserve such a patient partner. How often does he leave you alone?"

My mouth dropped open, and I had no doubt that surprise was written all over my face - not at the man's second attempt at flirtation, but at his brazenness. To even imply that he'd try something like that with a Senator's wife was one thing, but to state it outright as he'd just done...oh, Letant would rip him apart.

Allowing a cold, disbelieving smirk to stretch my lips, I tilted my head slightly and addressed him.

"Are you actually foolish enough to believe that you'd survive that?"

"Survive what, my love?" Relief barrelled through me when Letant's arms encircled my waist from behind and drew me back against his torso. The man who'd been bothering me suddenly looked considerably paler than before, and his smile seemed quite brittle. "Have you been blustering again, Rakor? How sad. I thought you'd moved past your need to overcompensate for your stature."

A huff of laughter escaped me as Letant nuzzled the space behind my ear.

"If you'll excuse us, I need a word with my wife." The Senator didn't even pretend to wait for an answer, choosing instead to whisk me out the double doors, down the hall, and into a small, empty office in the span of what felt like barely a breath. Cupping my face gently, Letant gazed into my eyes. "You looked uncomfortable speaking with him. Tell me what happened."

What could I do but obey? As I spoke, I watched his expression harden into something dangerous.

"He's fortunate that I didn't snap his neck," he hissed lifting me into his arms. Letant carried me across the room and deposited me atop a desk. "I knew I should've done this before we came here tonight."

Before I could ask what he meant, his lips claimed mine, and I found myself melting beneath his touch. With practiced ease, the Senator tugged the hem of my dress up and brushed his fingertips over my lace-covered vulva. The intensity of his passion coupled with the movements of his skillful, dexterous fingers had me drenched and arching into his touch within mere moments.

I opened my mouth to beg, but before I could utter a syllable, voices sounded from just outside the door. We both froze until the noisy conversation had moved out of earshot, but he didn't move away. If anything, he seemed more determined.

"Anyone could walk in–"

"Yes, they could, but we both know you enjoy this kind of risk," he murmured grasping my jaw as the hand between my legs slipped beneath my panties. He wasted no time, slipping two fingers inside my embarrassingly slick entrance and curling them with precision.

My mate was always passionate, but as he moaned against my neck, I could tell that this desire ran deeper, delving into a much rarer, more primitive sort of hunger. He pulled my pleasure from me in record time, stealing away my screams with a well-timed kiss.

While I was still gasping from my climax, Letant tugged the crotch of my panties to the side, freed his length, and thrust his lok into me.

"So perfect for me, e'lev...such a good girl," he breathed threading his fingers into my hair as he set a fast, unrelenting pace. Smiling against his lips, I recalled how passionate he'd been last night. It wasn't as though there was a lack of opportunity for us to be intimate, yet every time we were drawn to near desperation in our pursuit of pleasure.

Pulling a second orgasm from me as easily as breathing, Letant tilted my head back and watched with relish as I fell apart on his lok. Trembling in his arms, I grasped at his tunic and bit my lip hard to keep myself quiet.

"Whose are you?" His gaze was so intense that it felt as though he was staring into my soul. The grip on the back of my head tightened just a fraction as his hips sped up, chasing his own end.

"Yours," I promised, and Letant muffled a shout against my neck as he reached his peak. The first warm spurt coated my inner walls, but he quickly pulled out and tugged my panties down just far enough to shoot the rest of his come on the inside of the fabric. I couldn't help but whimper when he slipped my underwear back in place. Swallowing the sound with his lips, he hummed contentedly against my mouth.

"There. That ought to remind any overly curious parties to whom you belong," he murmured as he tucked himself away and helped me fix my dress. I got shakily to my feet, and my husband caught my waist to steady me. His lips brushed over my cheek in a barely there kiss. "Careful, now. You're not allowed to collapse. At least, not before I can parade my freshly-scented wife through a ballroom full of dignitaries."

~*~*~

Taglist:

@akamitrani @android-boyfriends @attention-bajoranworkers @bigblissandlove1 @darkmattervibes @emilie786 @horta-in-charge @live-logs-and-proper @slutty-slutty-vulcans @starrynightgardens @toebeans-mcgee

#deepspacedukat fic #Letant x Reader #Senator Letant x Reader

[mikami]

Counter point to Anon's argument about Light not having time to thoroughly check all the criminals he kills: Death Note is a series that was written without any consideration for how long anything would realistically take. Mello travelling from LA to New York, L speedrunning the Task Force HQ construction and Gevanni crafting Mikami's notebook are all examples off the top of my head. Light is a guy who has the sort of time management to act as a member of the NPA, L's successor and Kira all at the same time post-time skip. If Ohba wrote the series with the intention of Light at least somewhat investigating the people he kills, then I'd say we should just take it at face value personally.

I feel like the rules of time and space get looser especially in the second half, while in the first half we still get scenes like Light talking about how he carefully has to manage his time to be able to keep up with schoolwork, killing, and sleep... but it is not the pinnacle of realism then either, that is true. Your argument is sound to me.

I think personally I come down somewhere in the middle between the two arguments - Light definitely checked people, but he didn't like... run whole investigations himself, he just made his judgements based on what was already in the police files.

#answers

[70s-show-diary]

I had a thought about your tags in the post about Hyde's gift giving but didn't have the writer brain-space to turn it into a longer character analysis post. However, without having any of the BTS details like script notes or writers testimonies, I have to disagree that Hyde being a thoughtful gift-giver would be an accidental character note. He highly values being noticed and provided for, coming from a background where he was overlooked, left, and made to fend for himself. Trying to avoid my very personal bias for the character himself, I also just feel that from the effort made to paint him as the Pigpen-type character from the start of the show, it's something they would have planned to add in- having him be unusually perceptive and/or emotionally mature as an unexpected juxtaposition to his neglected rough-and-tumble persona Not to assert that anything beyond the first season of T7S was planned out in such a mastermind way, but I just have to disagree that Hyde's gift giving is an accidental thing that fell into his character instead of deeply reflecting many things that are core to why he's the character we have

Hi! I’m so glad you shared your thoughts with me! I love talking about this kind of stuff.

I can understand why my tags from this post that you are referring to may make it seem like I don’t think any of Hyde’s complex characterization was intentional by the show runners/writers of T7S. I tend to use the tags not only for organizational purposes, but for ‘throw away’ comments as well - the kind of things I wouldn’t want to ‘permanently’ include in the body of the post for the very reason that the comment is usually a bit tangential to the main purpose of the post. But tags are not the greatest place to fully-flesh out a character analysis, which can maybe cause some confusion.

And so that is why I appreciate you sending this ask because it gives me a chance to clarify the actual meaning behind that tag here in this post:

First - putting my own personal bias for the character aside as well, I completely agree with you that Hyde’s perceptiveness and emotional maturity absolutely juxtaposes nicely with his neglected rough-and-tumble persona (I love these words for describing Hyde btw; it’s so spot on). It makes for a well-rounded, complex, and engaging character, as opposed to the two-dimensional stereotyped ‘burnout’ he is on the surface.

I’m not saying that I think that some of these aspects of Hyde’s character/persona was not intentional by the minds behind the character (show-runners, writers, etc.), but I just tend to believe that it’s the fans of the show, particularly those of us involved in fandom and fanfic, that are primarily responsible for fleshing out these more nuanced aspects of Hyde’s character and persona. Not to be overtly cynical, but I think that there are minds here in the T7S fandom that have given significantly more objective thought and consideration to Hyde’s character than the show runners did.

But like you said, without having been in the writer’s room, there’s really no way to know exactly how much of Hyde’s complex characterization was intentional. I could very easily be wrong. If Hyde’s personal and thoughtful gift-giving was planned out and intentional, then kudos to the the show runners/writers because Steven Hyde is hands down one of the most interesting and complex characters I’ve encountered in media, especially considering that T7S is a sitcom.

And I have to give the writers/show runners some credit - after all, That ‘70s Show is my favorite TV show. But my passion for the show has been made considerably more enjoyable and enriching by the minds in the fandom.

TLDR; I’m of the mind that the show runners/writers planted the seeds, but it was the fandom that nurtured and grew those seeds into a garden that continues to flourish 25 years later.

Anyone else have any thoughts?

#ask #anon #That ‘70s Show #Steven Hyde #T7S

[kai-ni]

This is gonna be a hot ass take, but don't post art to Ao3. It's not what Ao3 is for, and it's scummy to writers who put their work out there.

And I'm not talking about fics with artwork embedded, that's fine. I'm not even talking about comics, because those involve writing and if they're ongoing I can see why they could work there. I'm talking about people that make a 'work' on Ao3 that's just an embedded image (or a collection of embedded fanart) and nothing else, 0 word count.

Ao3 is the ONLY platform FOR writers. You physically can't post longfic on twitter (I mean maybe in a bazillion tweets, but really?) buttt you can post art on twitter all you want. You can post writing on other sites like tumblr, etc (deviantart? does anyone use it anymore? you shouldn't. anyway) but that's not really what people are LOOKING for on those platforms, and writers will ALWAYS be overshadowed by artists on those platforms because art is easier to consume faster, and anyone scrolling the tags there can scroll past art, appreciate it, like/reblog it in a second rather than taking the commitment to read something (that may take hours to consume) and THEN coming back to like/reblog it/otherwise interact with it.

That's kinda just the nature of writing vs art, and it is what it is.

But people come to Ao3 SPECIFICALLY for writing. It's the ONE platform (I mean barring older stuff like ff.net that's pretty much defunct) where people go specifically looking for writing to consume.

'Okay I get it Kai, but one person putting art on Ao3 doesn't hurt anyone or take away from the writers on there, they're all... there.'

Alas, it does.

In a much smaller fandom I wrote in, one of my more successful fics was on the first page of search results for that fandom when sorted by hits (which is the most popular way to sort 'em and really the only way older fics are found), up until a popular fan artist posted a work on Ao3 that was just a collection of embedded fanart pieces (that they'd already posted on twitter and had been seen there and were very popular) and that very quickly knocked my work off the first page of hits. So, my work was seen less because that artist just decided to repost to a platform primarily for writers. Yea, you're gonna bet that upset me.

'Kai you're just jealous their art was better than your writing'

'Kay not gonna deny it probably was. But their art had already been seen/was really popular on another platform that I, as a writer, didn't even have access to. Doesn't feel great for them to come into the writer's space and also then overshadow. Because again, art is easier to consume. it's always gonna be, that's the POINT of having a site like Ao3 where writers can shine. Fine fine, call me cranky for being bumped, but I wouldn't have cared at all if it were by another fic.

'You can sort out works with 0 words you know'

Yea, sure. Does everyone just visiting Ao3 know how to do that? And again, that's not the default. If you just click on the fandom without doing anything, it doesn't.

Now imagine you're not on the first page, and still had a work in that fandom and your work was on page 10 or whatever for that fandom (again it was a small one). You're now on page 11. Very few people have the patience to search that far back, and now you aren't been seen at all because you got bumped by a popular artist. This isn't something that happens on twitter or other platforms - everyone's bound by the silly algorithm / time on twitter, and time on tumblr. it's a LEVEL playing field. it isn't really on Ao3. Yes, there's sort by 'most recent' and that's all fair, but by hits, kudos etc isn't.

So yes, when those sort functions are taken into consideration, artists posting on Ao3 really do hurt writers, and take space away from them, make smaller writers less seen, etc. It sucks.

There's plenty of other places to post your art. I know, there's fewer places to post NSFW works now and get feedback on them (unfortunately) but Ao3 doesn't even host the images anyway... you have to upload them somewhere else! there are other options. Don't take space from writers because sites like tumblr aren't good for NSFW anymore.

Again this is gonna be a super hot take, but that's how I feel and I lose respect for artists real quick when they do this. No shade, I'm not trying to call anyone out, this isn't specifically directed at anyone, just something that I've seen repeatedly and has been milling around in my head for years now. Disagree if you like, but I'm not looking to get into fights in the rbs so.

#this is gonna breach containment and im gonna regret it probably but oh well #ao3 #archive of our own

[aetherbound]

Under a Demon's Wing

Vergil x trans!reader

After a year of this sitting in my docs, I've nervously decided to post this purely self-indulgent of a reader fic since it's hard to find trans!reader fics at times. I've never written one of these before, or for Vergil's character and I'm sorry if he's too OOC. I wrote this during a gender dysphoria episode, so prepare for distressing thoughts. Hope it's enjoyable!

AO3

It was difficult to ignore the demons in your head, let alone go a few minutes without experiencing discomfort about your appearance. Your body betrayed the person trapped inside, a constant battle between mentally breaking down or numbly existing in bed. No one could take the pain away, no matter how much they cared for you, but having their support was enough. You remembered the red demon hunter that told you to come to him when distressed, Lady and Trish too, and you begrudgingly made your way over to their residence to ask to silently reside in their presence like you’ve done many times before.

Upon entering, all was quiet, leading you to believe that everyone was either gone or upstairs. You quietly sniffled and swallowed back your nerves, making your way upstairs when you faintly heard a door open. After reaching the top and turning a corner, you found yourself ramming face first into someone. You immediately stumble backward apologizing, looking to find the other azure hunter already gazing down at you. He’s silent, studying you as you try to cover up your distress with a nervous smile. Not that you didn't trust Vergil, he was characteristically intimidating. The night to Dante’s day in personality, whose sunny demeanor always managed to summon laughter from you in your dire times of distress. 

“Sorry, I um, I thought they were here.” You admitted, clearing your throat. “I-I can come back, sorry to bother you-“

“Don’t apologize for something that you haven't done.” Vergil sternly interjected, his face visibly softening when realizing how curt his voice resounded. Reattempting to reply, Vergil pursed his lips for a moment. “Is there something I can assist with?”

The question took you by surprise, but you nervously fidgeted with yourself regardless.

“Well, um..usually they’ll let me exist in the same room as them or lean against them while they do their thing for comfort. Or talk, I like listening to them bicker.” You admitted softly, perking up as Vergil made a considerate expression and turned around. Afraid you had offended him, you began to quickly justify your answer. “But I know you’re reserved about personal space, so I can keep my distance–”

“Come with me.” Vergil beckoned, not glancing behind him as he stepped into the hallway. 

You fidget with yourself again before following him, watching him gesture to a room. You step inside and pretend your heart isn’t in your throat, immediately noticing the large bookshelves lining the walls with complementary modest furniture. He left the door open and stepped over to the tea set on the table in front of the sofa, his hand presenting the teapot. 

“It’s chamomile.” Vergil informed without meeting your eyes. “Would you like some?” 

“Um, sure. Thank you.” You reply, accepting the freshly poured cup with quiet gratitude. 

The room was one you hadn’t seen before, but you already started to feel at ease despite not knowing the man on a personal level. You watch as he lowered himself to the sofa, retrieving his book from the table. 

“You may read anything you like.” Vergil invited, making himself comfortable against the cushion. “I ask you don’t dog-ear the pages.” 

“Of course not.” You assure, restraining the shiver of anxiety jolting your being. 

“Don’t feel pressured, you can just sit with me.” Vergil returned, glancing up to you as he opened his bookmarked page. “I’m not as comforting as the others, and I may not understand your struggles, but you’re not judged.”

The words alone prick tears to your eyes, abashedly turning and blinking them away. 

“Thank you.” You respond gratefully, shyly going to sit beside him. 

Your heart begins to flutter at the small distance between your bodies, your eyes flicking around to study something, anything to prevent emotional whiplash. You take a sip of tea, relieved that it wasn’t boiling, but warm. Vergil was right, the tea was soothing and you found yourself relaxing your tensed muscles. 

On the coffee table beside you, you spy a well used book atop some others. When squinting at the title, you discover it’s a book about Icarus. The story was always a favorite of yours. Icarus risked his life to escape, only for the sun to melt his wings and send him plummeting into the ocean. Suddenly, you realize that you weren’t so different. You braved the flight into the world as your own person, to present how you felt on the inside, only for others to cut you down. 

Fresh tears dripped into your tea cup, wiping them away as you carefully sat your cup on the table. It’s miraculous you don’t accidentally spill it as your hands tremble, trying to play it off as a shiver. Vergil knew better and saw through your façade, closing his book and kindly gazing at you. 

“If you need to talk about it, you may.” Vergil encouraged, keeping his hand on his book. 

“I-I don’t..” You try to explain, cut off by your throat constricting. Tears began to flow faster than you could restrain them, bowing your head in shame as you covered your face. “It’s so stupid.”

“It’s not if it’s causing you distress.” Vergil assured to his best ability. After a moment to gauge your comfort, Vergil spoke again, this time softer. “I won’t make you talk if you don’t want to. How can I help?”

“This is fine.” You sniffle, mentally calling yourself a crybaby. Almost as if he could sense it, Vergil sternly–but gently–knocked his knee against yours. 

“If you think you’re being overly sensitive, don’t. It's understandable.” He prompted, falling silent to let you continue speaking. 

“Thanks.” You manage with a smile. “It’s just…it feels like no matter what I do no one acknowledges who I am. That being trans is a phase and I’ll grow out of it. No matter how many times I say I’m a [man/woman], they insist the opposite. I think I’m passing until they hear my voice and they misgender me. No one listens to me when I explain and I just want to disappear–“

You’re cut off by your own tears, beginning to completely break down. 

“I can’t get out of this body I don’t want, don’t like, and can’t change because no one will at least acknowledge my effort. I know their opinions don't matter, but it still hurts.” You sob, your face buried in your hands. “This dysphoria is eating me alive and no one cares because it’s not ‘real.’ It’s ‘all in my head.’ ‘It’s not tangible’. I feel like a fraud.”

Vergil allowed you to cry, knowing you would feel better after releasing everything you bottled up. He carefully placed his hand on your back, uncertain to rub or pat you until he settled with keeping a comforting pressure. 

“You are who you say you are, even if the outside doesn’t show yet.” Vergil soothed, gently leading you to come closer. 

After a moment, you submit defeat and shamefully wrap your arms around his waist, your head pressed against his chest. Initially, Vergil was silent until he made a soft hum in an attempt to soothe you, allowing himself another moment of silence to let you express your feelings if needed. 

“I think I can understand to some degree.” Vergil considered after a long pause, his tone solemn. “After Mallet Island, any time I see knights I get tense. Intrusive flashbacks that make me think I'm someone else. Being trapped in a body that I couldn’t control or recognize was agony. I can’t imagine how you feel.”

It takes a moment to process Vergil’s words and implications, feeling your chest swell again and tears flood from your eyes. The pain was bittersweet mixed with relief that someone could empathize with your experience, even if it varied. He would never know the true limits of turmoil you endure daily, but he chose to listen. That struck you odd as empathy is something Vergil was known to lack, everyone had already said their two cents on Vergil’s lack of humanity. Was it possible that he felt like someone understood his past torment? How much did he truly think of you to share that glimpse of pain? 

“Not to take away from your experience.” Vergil apologized when he noticed your tears, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry if I said the wrong thing or was insensitive.“

All at once, you found yourself squeezing Vergil’s side harder in hopes of hugging both of your pain away. You wanted to smile, but emotions had too powerful of a hold. He softly exhaled after a moment, tentatively laying his arm over your side and molding his hand over your head. By now it was no mistake, Vergil had chosen to show equal vulnerability to you. Wanting to assure him, you composed your breathing before speaking. 

“You didn’t.” You assured, smiling at the decision to make an ill timed joke. “Don’t apologize for something you didn’t do.” 

An amused snort sounded from above, finding yourself chuckling as Vergil shook his head in amusement. 

“Fair enough.” Vergil admitted under his breath. “Correct me if I'm wrong, but being trans is like jumping without a parachute, only to discover you have wings. Is that true, based on my understanding?”

You can’t help the prideful smile that cracks your lips. He was hesitant in fear of using the wrong term, or shorthand of it, but he actively wanted to understand. That was enough for you to know he genuinely cared, whether he admitted it aloud or not. 

“Yeah.” You affirmed, thinking for a moment. “It’s weird how true that statement is.”

Content with your approval, his muscles seemed to melt under your body weight. Silence bloomed between the two of you, but your initial intimidation had waned into content. You could hear his heartbeat beneath the thrum of his breathing, offering a soothing ambience to your internal vortex of distress. You awkwardly thank him and loosen your hold on him, removing yourself from the embrace as he retracted his arm. The demon allowed a moment for you to adjust yourself and personal space before placing his book in his lap. At first you wondered why he didn’t resume reading, but when steel eyes studied you, you realized he was waiting in case you needed to vent further. 

You felt yourself blush and quickly averted your eyes, opting to explore the Icarus book you previously eyed. After the two of you had begun reading, you dared to peek at Vergil. His knee affectionately knocked against yours again, remaining pressed against you for silent comfort when you looked away. There was a curve to his lips that made your chest swell with warmth, feeling yourself smile as you leaned against his shoulder and continued reading. 

“You’re welcome here anytime.” Vergil invited once the silence felt appropriate to break. “Distressed or not.”

“I’ll definitely visit you more often then.” You accept with a smile, hearing him hum in response. 

Knowing that your presence was welcomed soothed your anxiety about returning, whether it was for a friendly visit to the demon hunters or seeking comfort. When Dante learned that Vergil took you into his “inner sanctum”, he was beyond amazed. He insisted that Vegil had grown feathers on his “scaly demon wings” and tucked you under them, only for the elder twin to digress and insist it was merely out of kindness. 

But the glimmer in Vergil’s eyes that sparked between you promised it ran much deeper than that.

#vergil x reader #devil may cry #vergil sparda #tw gender dysphoria #tw: gender dysphoria #vergil x trans!reader #devil may cry imagines

[jewishvitya]

Personally, seeing people with NPD talk about the problems with the term "narcissistic abuse" was enough for me to have an issue with it. NPD is a trauma-induced disorder and I can't bring myself to treat it differently from other disorders that get stigmatized and demonized.

But seeing the origins of the term and the person who coined it, I honestly feel both horrified and validated.

The shortest summary I can give: this term was coined by a bigoted abuser named Sam Vaknin. He has no background in psychology, and he coined this term to excuse his own abusive behavior by saying he had no choice. He wanted to claim the abuse is in his nature. No accountability, no need to change. The whole concept started out to justify staying a harmful person.

This post has more information on him, listing transphobia, homophobia, rape apologia, and more from the creator of the concept.

Now this idea fills every social space a person with NPD could occupy. If someone with NPD seeks out community and resources to manage the issues caused by their disorder, instead of help all they will find is conversations about how they're inherently harmful. They'll find abusers that were never diagnosed being named narcissists, because it's now just "bad person disorder." And with how common it is to armchair diagnose hurtful people, they won't even need to look for it.

And there's this attitude, this assumption that a person with NPD can't be hurt, or if they do get hurt they inherently deserve it. I've seen their concerns dismissed with jokes, like "lol why won't anyone think of the narcissists" - because how dare they ask for consideration when their disorder is discussed. From my perspective, it's seems dehumanizing.

I've been thinking about this for a very long time because I know more than one survivor who uses this term. I see it everywhere online now, either explicitly or by implication through calling abusers narcissists. Survivors of abuse deserve to speak about their experiences and their trauma. There should be a way to name this kind of emotional and psychological abuse, without adding to the stigma of an already-stigmatized disorder, and without armchair-diagnosing abusers with disorders we don't know they actually have.

I have a problem with the urge to group every dangerous person into the same category. It's the same issue I have with the idea that people who don't experience empathy are inherently bad, like the lack of mirrored emotions means they can't be compassionate and kind. Brains are too complicated for there to be one trait, or one kind of wound, that makes someone a bad person. It's human nature to seek out something to blame, to try to make sense of these things, but I think it's good to interrogate the thought patterns that come naturally.

I'm not saying that there's no person with NPD who's an unrepentant abuser. But people are people, and in every group there will be those that don't care about the harm they cause, and those that want to be good people. Abusers fall into patterns because those are the patterns that keep their victims under their control and get them what they want. There is no "bad person disorder."

Always suspect rhetoric that encourages you to dehumanize someone. Always. If a line of thinking leads you to seeing a person or a group as monsters - it's dangerous.

#riki babbles #abuse mention #NPD #I don't know how to tag this #ableism #my thoughts

[olderthannetfic]

I really don't get the issue with tagging stuff like goncharov as unreality, lmao.

"Oh why can't you just google it??" Because nonnie, having an entire website act like this one pretend thing is real can be disorientating even if the words on the Google search page say that thing doesn't exist, especially before there were articles specifying it was just a joke. Hell, i don't have any particular health condition that would require this type of tagging for my own continued wellbeing, but it was still extremely disorientating to log on one day and see everyone talking about this one thing as if it were a fully fledged movie while at the same time being told it didn't actually exist. I can only imagine how it felt like to people who are liable to experience hardship when confronted with this type of scenario.

Like, if you personally dont want to tag for a certain thing on your own blog, then all the power to you. Whoever doesnt like the way you do things can just unfollow you, no harm no foul. But people taking that idea a step further and saying "Oh, if stuff like goncharov upsets you then why are you on the internet in the first place?" is like me asking people with allergies or other diet restrictions why they go to restaurants every one in a while. "Like, hm actually sweetie, why are you eating out if you're intolerant to gluten/allergic to x? You cant expect the world to cater to your needs :/". "Why should I put an epilepsy warning in this movie or video? If you don't want to trigger an epilepsy attack the you shouldn't be watching videos in the first place.", so on and so forth.

"Oh but those are serious!" Not necessarily. An allergy can just leave you feeling itchy for a while, and lactose intolerance can just give you a stomach ache, depending on the person. "Oh, but those are physical conditions!" So? Why should that make them more worthy of your considerations? They are still health conditions that need to be accounted for and looked out for. And the people who have those health conditions should be able to go about their life without fear.

It's actually not that weird to ask the people that share your space for some kindness and consideration when it comes to dealing with your specific needs, especially if those needs can prevent you from coming into harm. As long as, of course, "asking people to tag a type of post" doesn't snowball into, I don't know, insults or demands or what not. I haven't seen that sort of post or discourse yet, but I'm just leaving the caveat to be safe lmao

--

This is becoming tedious. There's a disability need here that is clashing with the fundamental nature of the activity. People will make various choices about what to do about fundamentally incompatible needs. The end.

[monowires]

If ME4 makes the destroy ending the canon one and revives Shepard somehow - what do you think about Kaidans perspective in that case?

I'm talking about the whole "we're very good friends" to "oh no he died" to "he's back but working for the evil guys" to "we're finally dating" to "oh no he's dead again" and then.... Shepard just turning up again? I imagine it must be taking quite a toll on Kaidan, maybe depending on the timespan between Shepard demise and revival. But I'm curious about your thoughts since I love everything about your Mshenko.

ooooh this is a good one! i’m actually in the early stages of working on a fic that covers this exact topic!

so, firstly, im assuming you mean the version of the destroy ending where you have enough military strength to get that small bonus scene at the end of the epilogue that shows shepard gasping awake in the middle of a pile of rubble.

in that case, i feel that that would occur relatively soon after the release of energy by the crucible. with the extent of injuries sustained it wouldn’t be feasible to assume there was a large time gap because he would’ve died without immediate medical care (at least in my opinion). he would either a) be discovered by search and rescue teams, or b) manage to get a stable comms link with his omnitool and let someone know where he is.

i tend to agree with a the large majority of fandom in that it would take a considerable amount of time for shepard to fully recover from his injuries. the main point of division i see is how the crucible affects shepard’s implants from the lazarus project.

now, my main issue with the assumption that the crucible would annihilate shepard’s implants is that it wouldn’t make sense on a larger scale. i’m certain that there’s a number of civilians with cybernetic implants or prosthetics. even today we have things like pacemakers, and to assume that the crucible would obliterate shepard based on the fact that it kills all synthetic life is rather unfair to me. of course, i don’t mind if people have that headcanon, but for me, i see it this way:

shepard is not synthetic life. he was revived, sure, but he’s an organic lifeform. he always has been. it’s still his body keeping him alive, it just has help from implants. if he were to be killed by the crucible on account of having cybernetics then that would also mean a lot of regular people with implants/prosthetics would die solely because they have cybernetics in their body.

this is largely influenced by the fact that i think the crucible is fucking strange and poorly explained space magic. but it’s my personal opinion.

so assuming he is recovered quickly, i don’t think there’d be too much tension between mshenko because there wouldn’t be that extensive period of mourning afterwards. i think it’d take a while for both of them to process everything that’s happened, but nearly losing each other so many times has made one thing perfectly clear: they love each other, and are indescribably grateful for every minute they have. because technically, shepard has been living on borrowed time ever since he was revived.

there would definitely be baggage to work through. on both sides. but they’ve known each other for so long, been through so much, that i think there wouldn’t be much to talk about. shepard has always had self-sacrificial tendencies in the face of the reapers and it isn’t a secret. so i think a lot of it would just be joy for the fact of being alive.

this is… a little off topic from the question you asked but i just have a Lot of thoughts about post-me3. so sorry for the essay LMFAO

#johnny.txt #mass effect #mshenko #commander shepard #kaidan alenko #monowires asks

[reginrokkr]

Under cut I'll talk about something serious that shouldn't be taken as a joke in light of what has occurred in the recent days. If you don't want to read, you can skip this without worries. This is just a small warning before any of you peeps interested proceed reading:

These past days haven't been the easiest to me. While I wasn't affected by the person in question in the slightest (luckily for me, I have a good eye for these things and that person didn't inspire much trust with what little I've seen at the time), some things I've seen awakened memories of a bad period I've gone through in this platform also because of another person. Because yes, even if I think I'm doing a good job in keeping myself away from people that I feel like are more prone to be involved in these things based on observations of mine, these things come to my attention sooner or later. In my case it was a couple of days later.

I understand that this must've felt like some kind of relief from others who didn't dare to speak up their experiences for multiple reasons, good for them. I'm happy for them if this will make them feel safer. But at the same time this was like opening Pandora's box in the sense of bringing to light something that is messed up. This something is what made me feel unsafe on this platform as soon as I read the callout and what keeps making me feel unsafe, which is this "stalking". In view of the methods people have to see the IP alongside other sensible information from the users, there is this fear about how anyone is a potential stalker when that might not even be the case. Just for viewing their blog. As someone who doesn't follow many people, I have the tendency to peek in my mutuals' notes sometimes to see if there is a new blog maybe I haven't seen before that could be a potential interest to follow, but now it feels like that isn't an option for me any longer in case I come across a person who is too aware of the traffic on their blog.

Putting my own experience aside and thoughts as well as how I'll operate from now on and what not, I do want to say something important. If you're someone who states clearly in their blog that you don't condone callout culture and that you won't partake in it, then don't. I've seen people admitting in their own tags to breaking their own rule to this in order to reblog the most recent one and that feels unsafe too to people who want to just enjoy themselves in this platform (RPing in my case). Now it's hard not to be skeptical every time yes, people say that they won't participate only for them to not only participate, but make more posts about it later on. By this I'm not saying to not do it, just that you're transparent from the beginning so some of us know what to expect. Anyone could say that it would be as easy as to curate my space to not be exposed to this, but let me tell you. The amount of people I follow is very little at the detriment of having lower chances to RP with people. I cannot curate my space more than I already have. The next step would be to leaving permanently and I don't want to do that, as there are people worth staying here for and I adore this hobby. This is my last resort to do something which might or might not resonate with other people also. Please be considerate of those of us who want nothing to do with any of this. This website is uninviting in many aspects as it is, let's not fuel it more with these messed up instances to make it unsafe at that.

If you reached this far, thank you for reading and sorry for this rambling. I really needed to take it off my chest.

#◟༺✦༻◞ what lays behind the mantle of faux stars ┊ooc.┊ #◟༺✦༻◞ trust not the gods; nor overthrow them ┊psa.┊

[genderqueer-karma]

hey so it’s bhm here in the us and i was thinking thoughts earlier. i figured this was a semi-appropriate time to post something like this anyway, so here’s what my brain spat out (in post format!)

my thoughts (as a black person) on that fucking locs wig/headpiece

so. if you’re a fan of malice mizer or are vaguely familiar with them through cultural osmosis of a friend or whomever talking about them, there’s a considerable chance you’ve seen pictures of mana様 wearing this wig*:

yk. the locs.

it goes without saying that this is appropriation of black culture**. my culture. doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.

i’ve seen people (particularly on tiktok, though there have been people in other places) make a big stink over it! and that is valid, for the most part.

however, of the examples i’ve seen of non-black people wearing black cultural styles (and i have seen quite a few), this is probably one of the most tame.

i have seen people try to give themselves “locs”/“dreads” in their own, non afro-textured hair. it has usually turned out to be a matted, unhealthy mess that ultimately has to be cut. that cannot be said of this wig. it is pristine in comparison, which i find to be fascinating! if you look at wigs made to resemble locs, 90% of the time they still look gross and matted. (a common theme… truly peculiar. /sarcasm)

that in particular makes me believe (to a certain extent) that this was not intentionally malicious. so truthfully, it’s hard to demonize it entirely.

with that in mind, i’m not defending this either; trust when i say that i am immensely disappointed to see these things. primarily, that’s because it does bring into question just how safe i am/will be within these fan spaces as a black person. if we cannot call out these things as a community and be in complete understanding with one another about why this is wrong, we cannot progress past it.

however, i find it truly bizarre that people will be frothing at the mouth over this now. it’s been ~20/30 years! beyond that, there’s been no major incidents like this since then!

there is no real reason to continue complaining so frequently about something so old at this point in time, especially when it was not done out of genuine, unadulterated hatred.

sure, we (black fans, in our relatively small number) should maybe be given an apology, but it’s a minor wound at worst, and an apology that is unlikely to happen because of how long ago everything transpired.

i, personally, am more concerned with fans and their issues than mana様 himself. as far as i’m concerned, he’s literally just some guy. he doesn’t even do a lot in the public eye as often as he used to. he just peddles his wares and shit, which is not something i’m worried about.

in essence, yes, 1000%, it’s wrong. yes, we should bring attention to it.

but no, it does not warrant any major action on the part of fans. especially not those who simply wish to white knight and prove they’re “cool” or “woke” for internet brownie points rather than actually ally themselves with the black community on more pressing issues than a 30-year-old wig.

thanks for reading, i guess. happy black history month. actually listen to the black people around you year-round.

***

*(yes, it is a wig/headpiece. i’ve checked multiple times.)

**(i can only speak on my perspective of my culture, but i know others have feelings about other things that mana様 especially has done by way of appropriation.)

***(also, don’t ask me about the braids from early klaha era. i don’t care! re-read the post if you’re that concerned.)

#yo it's d :) #malice mizer #mana sama #don’t get me wrong i respect mana immensely. but i’m critical of his past actions. #but in that same vein. y’all have GOT to chill the fuck out! it’s not life or death! it wasn’t then and it’s not now *30 years later*. #like. at this point i just joke about it! i have no reason to be just crazy upset about it. i have bigger fish to fry than this. #and when i say i joke: i don’t do it to diminish the impact/serious nature of appropriation. i do it to take the sting out of being #disappointed by someone who i look up to. i mentioned the other day that seeing certain things helps me remember that he’s some guy in the #end. that’s still true! if it’s not super recent and doesn’t affect people now i don’t worry about it! #we should all try worrying a bit less about the purity of the things we like.