#and because this is tumblr

[siristaci]

This got really long, so it's going under a read more. It's about the potential death of an ex-family member (after finding out about a recent heart attack) and briefly mentions suspected abusive behavior.

My not-uncle-anymore R (ex-husband of my aunt J) is in the hospital. He had a heart attack two days ago. I found out yesterday. I was told he hadn't woken up yet.

He has a pacemaker, so they can't do scans*. They were supposed to do a test yesterday (something about wires on his head) and we were supposed to get the results in the evening. Apparently there is an increase in heart rate when music is played or people are speaking.

I haven't heard anything since yesterday afternoon outside of J's fb post (posted shortly after they were supposed to get the results) that said "(my cousin's) dad had a heart attack yesterday afternoon. He was taken by ambulance to the ICU. He hasn't woken up, his brain activity is almost nothing, he is on a ventilator and has developed some other complications."

My feelings on all of this are... very complicated.

J and R got married when I was about 13. They both already had many other children (nearly all boys) before getting married, and had one boy (the cousin previously mentioned) together during their marriage. Then they got divorced when I was about 21. It's been a little over 10 years since then.

I first met R at the reception. He found out I liked LOTR and showed me his Sting letter opener. He was into heavy metal. I thought he was incredibly cool.

We really only saw each other at family gatherings, and- due to us both being black sheep of the family- quickly became the other person's "I'm only going if (the other one) is going to be there." He introduced me to Twisted Sister's Twisted Christmas album. Which is one of only two Christmas albums I'll still listen to. He was so fun. I thought it was great that there was someone of an older generation that I really got along with.

But there's a reason J and R got divorced. I don't really know what. I've asked three times and gotten different answers each time.

The first time, I was told by my mom that it was because they just couldn't agree on how to raise their kids. In a tone that told me to not ask questions. I was raised mormon, so I was very good at not asking questions. For a while.

The second time, I was told that he was... very physical and overdid it when disciplining the kids. Supposedly, they got pretty hurt on more than one occasion. J obviously wasn't comfortable talking about it, so I didn't push for more information.

The third time, I was told that he wasn't abusive, he was just too immature. Maybe he'd roughhoused a little too rough with the boys a few times, and they'd gotten hurt, but it wasn't intentional or out of anger. J had decided that he was just too childish to be a dad to her kids. She still wasn't very comfortable talking about it, but assured me that he wasn't evil or anything.

I stayed fb friends with him for a few years. He mostly talked about going to metal concerts and the company he worked for that was trying to get more metal bands signed with record labels.

And then politics became something that everyone was talking about. Suddenly, R started posting more and more about the first and second amendments. Posted lots of pictures of the American flag. The term "snowflakes" was used whenever he talked about how ungrateful and soft young people are nowadays.

I quietly unfriended him and haven't spoken to him since.

I still have fond memories of R. I was sad to find out that he wasn't as great as I'd thought he was. And even sadder when (it seemed) he changed into a right-wing asshole. I know that I don't have the whole story. All I really have are the memories of him, and I really like the ones from when he and J were married.

I also know that my cousin hasn't chosen to see his dad in two years; something that could be influenced by distance, just being a teenager, or not getting along with the brothers that live with his dad. Or it could be that he doesn't want to see his abusive father.

There isn't really a point to this post. I guess I'm just getting all of my feelings out in preparation, since it seems he isn't likely to recover. I honestly don't even know what I'm hoping for- if I'm hoping for anything. I know I'll mourn the loss of life, even if I've been mourning the loss of that soul for a decade.

*Everything I'm told about this comes from my mom, who gets it from her sister, who gets it from her son, so it's quite the game of telephone and at least one of them don't regard science highly, so I don't have the proper medical terms and I very likely don't have all the information I'd get if I were speaking to a doctor directly.

#and because this is tumblr #i have to give this disclaimer: #these are complicated feelings about a complicated situation #if i go to the funeral‚ i will be respectful of those who had a difficult relationship with him #i won't invalidate their experiences #I'm actually planning on asking the cousin how he feels about me attending #i don't want to cause drama or even distraction by being there if it's not appropriate #i can mourn anywhere #the funeral isn't about me or my relationship to a guy who was my uncle for less than a decade MORE THAN a decade ago #but this post is. #this post is a personal space for me to talk about my feelings without consideration of anyone else #tw death #tw abuse #mine

[thesefallenembers]

the problem with reading and writing leading to a strong vocabulary is that you tend to know the vibe of words instead of their meanings.

if I used this word in a sentence, would it make sense? absolutely. if you asked me what it meant, could I tell you? absolutely not.

#someone send this to my english teacher because vocab tests are hard #writing memes #reading #writers #writers of tumblr #writers of instagram #writing #writer #reader #writer memes #readers of tumblr

[rustandruin]

the ghost of one specific homosexual cowboy regularly possesses Tumblr gays

#bringing back these iconic posts because I can never seem to find them or be able to reblog them #cowboy #cowboys #lgbtqia #tumblr history #rust and ruin blogs #gay cowboys #cowboy au #Wild West #westerns #these are some of my favourite things

[sebdoesnothing]

She saw her moment and got glossed up for it

#tumblr #tumblr icon #im pretty sure this is deliberate because its way too fancy #twitter #icon #elon musk #kinda #its pretty funny #ios #hellsite

[smash-chu]

make a cohost account, make a blue skies account, make a pillow fort account, make a artfol account, share your discord, make a back-up account, make another account, make another account, make another account-

#shitpost #pot dog #pot dot #doodles #sites just remain normal challenge impossible #i can barely manage having a tumblr and a twitter account to both post to #the prospect of making more accounts more places just because shit may go down in flames or threaten to do so is exhausting #i will remain here until the ship is at the very bottom of the ocean cause i'm so tired of extending myself for social media efficiency

[likegoldintheair]

when i say i wish people started using the reblog button more i don't mean it in a 'i want more notes' kind of way i mean it in a 'i want to read about your thoughts on this particular thing' and 'i want to have conversations in the tags' and 'i want this to feel like a community again and not like any of those boring social media platforms where artists are content creators and interactions never goes beyond a like'

#i am having thoughts and feelings again #the main reason i came back to tumblr after a decade away #was because i missed the community-like feeling #but it seems impossible to have that #no matter how hard i try

[seriousturd]

#tumblr polls #random polls #poll time #i love looking at usernames and wondering what it MEANS #so many of you guys have such cool sounding usernames #i just picked random words i like LMAO #serious because people always see me as super serious irl (i'm just a very anxious perfectionist lol) #and turd because i have the sense of humor of a toddler and think poop jokes are funny

[canisalbus]

✦ Siesta ✦

#own art #own characters #CanisAlbus #art #artists on tumblr #Vasco #Machete #sighthound #dogs #canine #animals #Vasco's golden fur looks it's best in direct sunlight #Machete prefers shade because he burns easily and his eyes are sensitive to bright lights #I love light yellow I see yellow and I go HRAAAH

[angryonabus]

The Killer

So I was hanging out with some friends last night, and for whatever reason, we got onto the subject of whether or not we sleep with the bedroom door closed. Apparently it's safer in case of fires? But it turns out that most of my friends keep their bedroom door closed because of concerns about The Killer, aka, a person breaking into their house at night with the express intention of murdering them.

For the purposes of this poll, "I share a house/apartment" is for situations where you have your own bedroom, but there are other people living with you; "I share a bedroom" is for situations where there is another person sleeping in the same room.

#polls #tumblr polls #I wanted to include a question about pet ownership #because i think that plays a role #but i ran out of answers #so feel free to elaborate in the tags

[gayshitanddadjokes]

What the fuck is this??????????

Folks: you CANNOT censor trigger tags. When you block a tag, it doesn't block other "spellings" of it. Writing it as "r@pe" or "r4p3" means that someone who has "tw rape" as a blocked tag will still see that post because you didn't wanna say the word rape. You are hurting people. Do not censor words, because people do not have those filtered out.

And honestly if you can't even write the word rape to protect other people then you probably aren't old/mature enough to discuss the topic.

#what the fuck #tumblr migration #twitter migration #twitter migrants #because i know the redditors don't pull that shit #tik tok #it was tik tok and twitter i know it #a

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

there are going to be global demonstrations for Palestine on march 2nd, this site has more info

here's what's written on the front page:

"On March 2, millions across the world will march for Gaza! The Israeli government is planning to have a full-scale invasion of Rafah one week later, on March 9, one day before the start of Ramadan. Today, the United States vetoed a UN resolution that insisted that Israel immediately cease its mass killing spree in Gaza.

Now is the time to act! People around the world are going into the streets in cities and towns, including in the United States, as part of the global day of protest on Saturday, March 2.

Gaza is facing famine, its hospitals are besieged, threats of ground invasion in Rafah loom near, and Israel continues its onslaught on the over 2 million Palestinians in the Gaza Strip.

The mass movement for Palestine has led to the isolation of the US and Israel on the world stage. With growing internal divisions and heightened political pressure on Israel and the United States, it’s time to push even harder. Our mobilizations at this moment can be more decisive than ever, and we must show our full strength now to ensure a lasting ceasefire and an end to the siege on Gaza.

Act now, and mobilize in your communities and institutions, everyone must be on the streets on March 2nd! All out for Rafah! All out for Gaza! Stop the genocide!"

#text post #making a post myself because i saw this on twitter but didn't see much about it on tumblr #not sure how i should tag this because i heard certain tags aren't visible anymore?

[possessable]

Hello i'm a normal person here's some stuff i drew to illustrate different traits different "person getting controlled" tropes can have

edit: obligatory possession shorthand code link because people seem to be using this like the possession code but just. without the code part

edit: DO NOT BE HORNY ON MY POST 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

#if you see tumblr flagging this its literally not mature i dont know why it got flagged #i like how you can see the artstyle in this change because i drew the first couple a year ago and then picked it up again intermittently #this aws just an excuse to draw a bunch of tiny possessed guys. ''what am i supposed to do with a possession hyperfixation its not like you #can draw possession fanart'' Yes You Can If you really Believe In yourslef #This isn't even all the traits i can think of there's four more but they seem kind of boring to draw and are mostly self explanatory #Less Unique my Ass #ThePossessionHyperfixationIsNeverEnding

[stuffforthestash]

I saw a post about tumblr user ages...

Reblogs are welcomed for that sweet, sweet increased data pool (aka getting more than 20 responses 😅)

#for science #tumblr polls #random polls #elder millennial #outing my own age bracket here #and that's okay #because it's for science!

[computerexploder]

im just someones weird sister

#unemployed voice. cant find the original tumblr search sux #<- twas a blatant ripoff of the “im just someones weird coworker” post which i could not find #also. havent deleted it because i like very occasionally seeing my mutuals pop up in the notes

[rabid-transcendentalist]

#tumblr live #destiel news #hellsite (derogatory) #is tumblr staff actually a bunch of genies? #because this feels like a wish granted in the worst way possible

[egophiliac]

bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word

I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.

(I'm sorry)

#art #twisted wonderland #(sort of atemporally somewhere between episodes 6 and 7?) #(i - i wanted that lilia joke okay) #long post #tumblr went 'you can post up to 30 images now :)' and i was like well okay then #anyway once again i'm sorry #i'd say i don't know why i did this but actually it is because i wanted kalim to scandalize everyone #i tried to keep it...you know...tasteful. a tasteful amount of fucks. #hey remember how the framing premise for the original birthday interviews was that yuu worked for the school paper #because i have never forgotten. in my head they are still getting up to all kinds of wacky reporting hijinks.