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nihilistem · 9 months

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adhd study affirmations + tips to stray from discouragement by a stem student with adhd.

you’re not always going to be consistent. you’re not always going to be motivated. you’re not always going to be efficient. and that is okay.

edit : thank you so much to whoever blazed this post. It means the world to me.

and the fact that you even got this far is an accomplishment in and of itself. In this line of work, people aren’t always the kindest to neurodivergent people especially since our symptoms can often hinder our performance academically.

if you’re good to go after reading the above, I’ve also made a post regarding adhd study tips that I haven’t seen anywhere else. (Part 2 is here!) But, if you’re burned out like me, feel free to keep reading.

honestly, these might serve a bit more as reminders because they’re kinda simple but even I needed this, so, here we go.

do not seek advice from anyone neurotypical unless it genuinely helps you. I cannot tell you the amount of time and tears I could have saved if I just considered the fact that just because popular self-improvement tips or study techniques didn’t work for me, it doesn’t mean I’m stupid or useless. It simply means our brains isn’t motivated by the same things neurotypical ones are, and therefore a lot of popular self-improvement videos or study tips aren’t going to work for you because 90% of the time, they’re not designed to work for neurodivergent people. So if you’d like to seek help in this area, look for tips and videos that ARE for neurodivergent people.

you might experience burnout a lot more than others. again, that is fine. if this doesn’t apply to you, great! Feel free to skip to the next tip/affirmation. If this does apply to you, read this carefully; if you’ve had any sort of streak in studying right now, chances are you know at least a portion of your studies were led purely on interest, curiosity or even novelty, as these are what keep us engaged in our studies. Knowing this, it is natural for you to experience burnout more frequently than others due to the possible hyperfixations that have been forming around your work. If you get burned out, please remember to take a break for a day and make sure it is efficient. Like your studies, your breaks are the key to having efficient study sessions in the future. So please treat yourself, especially if you’ve been working extra hard!

do not admire studious fictional characters unless it genuinely helps you or they too are neurodivergent. I know this technically could have been thrown in with tip number 1 but I felt like this tip alone is so important, because nowadays I see a lot of study tips with the title, ‘how to study like (insert studious fictional character here)’ and when I look at the post it kinda repeats the same few study tips I see all the time like ‘stay organized’ or ‘time block your day’ and I feel like admiring fictional characters who do things that don’t work for you can be damaging for your mental health, because we’re already told by neurotypical people all around us that we’re slow or lazy just because we don’t do things the way they do, and I think idolizing neurotypical people that make us feel bad at the end of the day just further promotes that kind of toxic thinking.

expect that a routine/schedule/technique that has been working for a while now may not continue to work in the future. things will always have to be new for us to be interested or engaged, that being said, if you expect this in the future you won’t be frustrated with yourself because you already had this in mind. It doesn’t mean you’re not smart. It doesn’t mean you’re lazy. It doesn’t mean you’re useless. It just means that you’ve done what you could, and now it’s time to move on to another routine/schedule/technique.

keep doing the things you love alongside work. I find that because our symptoms may cause us to fall behind on our studies, we tend to neglect our other needs as human beings just to make up for the fact that we simply do not learn or pick things up the same way neurotypical people do. Your hobbies and interests need to be part of your day, just as your studies do, even if you may take longer to learn things or remember important concepts in your studies. Neglecting your hobbies or interests can lead to even more frequent burn outs and even a relapse in depression and anxiety, so please take care of yourself and recognize that you need and deserve these things just as much as anyone else.

regularly discover what works for you on your own. here’s the thing; neurodivergent or not, no two brains work the same. Of course it is good to try out advice or tips you find online because they’re backed up by experience, but they’re backed up by that person’s experience with working with their own brain. So naturally, you need to find what works with your brain. Be open to trying everything, even the tips that are discouraged like listening to lyrical music while studying. That was the only way I learnt that this tip actually does help me at times, even when many people have said that it negatively affects your focus.

that’s all I have right now guys, I think I’m experiencing burn out or probably falling back into depression again so more than anything this also served as a reminder for me, but I really hope it also helped you guys nonetheless.

As always, tell me if you guys would like more posts like these and I’ll be happy to make more <33 please take care of yourself guys, and remember that your studies is just one aspect of your life. There are other aspects that need your care and attention too.

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cleolinda · 1 month

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I’ve read a few of the umpteen thousand upset comments about the paid Watcher service, and I’ve read comments angry about the upset comments. There’s one thing I want to point out, and it’s that this isn’t, or shouldn’t be, “You’re saying people don’t deserve to earn money for their work.”

The Watcher guys do deserve to earn money. I already give them money. I give them $5 a month on Patreon, not because I think they do or don’t give me $5 worth of media, but because I want to support them. I canceled Netflix for pissing me off with its price hike/ad tier, but I give Watcher Entertainment money.

They’re saying now that the Patreon will be solely about the podcasts, and they understand if people leave. I’m perfectly happy to switch the support I can afford to the streaming service. With the early adopter 30% discount, I’d actually save money. In fact, I tried to subscribe, but the site didn’t work.

Watcher wanting to profit from their shows isn’t the problem. It’s that they’re now discovering that their fanbase is young and broke in a terrible economy, judging by tens of thousands of comments on multiple platforms. I can throw them $5/month, so I do. But the Patreon only has (checks notes) 5874 paying followers, and there’s a reason for that. $60/year upfront would not be “accessible.” Patreon is literally patronage from the people who can afford it.

If the guys had said up front, “ONLY new shows and episodes will be exclusive to the service,” I think we’d be having a different conversation right now. But at first they did say, “We’re pulling all our content from YouTube,” to the point where Variety had to issue an update. Like, that’s in print and I’m pretty sure it was on video. Now they’ve backtracked to ONLY new etc.—but most people haven’t heard, and they feel crushed. And the trust is probably gone regardless.

So now four years of back catalogue will stay public. And now, you’re paying $6.99 a month for one episode, maybe two, of something a week, and now, not an exclusive back catalogue. I would pay for Watcher shows before I’d pay for anyone else, but I just don’t think the company is big enough yet for a SVOD at that price. They’re not Dropout size. They needed to build more programming and get a higher follower count first, or at the very least, charge less.

The international price/exchange rate situation is a nightmare and I don’t know what it is they’re not doing to make it… not… be like that.

I don’t know what they should have done instead of a full streaming service, but surely there were alternatives? I’ve seen comments from people suggesting they GET a Patreon. Lean on that more! Do the shows exclusive for a month and then let them roll onto YouTube! I don’t know! Anything but One More Fucking Streaming Service, which enraged me, and I was willing to move my support to it!

And I shouldn’t say this, but I will. In the “Goodbye YouTube” video the guys posted, they say that setting up the streaming service has allowed Steven to do a remake of Worth It where he and his cohosts travel the world and eat expensive food. This is the first new show they announce. Not “We have always been committed to diversity and we’re now able to bring on new creator(s) to expand our programming.” No, a redo of an old show that by definition has got to be expensive. Commenters are saying they can’t pay for the streaming service because they can’t make ends meet in this economy. The optics are terrible. I genuinely question what the thought process even was here.

I love the guys and I still watch their shows. I want to see Watcher succeed. I started watching Buzzfeed Unsolved in 2018 while recovering from surgery—as with a lot of people, their shows got me through a tough time. I’m as attached as anyone. If I can continue to afford monthly support—this is not a certainty—I’ll give it to them. I’m not a ~hater who doesn’t want Watcher to make money. But I am absolutely BAFFLED by every single decision here. I want them to figure out how to turn this around and go in a better direction, because right now, this ain’t it.

#long post #I hope nobody hates me for this but like #this is someone supporting you #this is the best I can do #and that should tell you something #watcher

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calaisreno · 22 days

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An Arrangement

1200 words / Prompt: Hobby

Summary: Mycroft finds an ally

Mycroft Holmes regards the police officer who is sitting on the other side of the desk. Dark eyes, prematurely greying hair. Good at his job, recent promotion. A sense of humour (laugh lines), and an uncompromising commitment to honour. Maybe that’s not quite what it is. Honourable, yes, but it’s an inner sense of rightness, a gut feeling about people. Not impressed by power.

He wonders what DI Lestrade is thinking about the man he’s come to see without an appointment.

“You’re here about my brother,” he says, sparing him the explanation.

Lestrade nods. “I’ve seen him around, talked with him a few times. Last night—”

“Thank you.” Mycroft isn’t good at thanking people, not when thanks seem so inadequate. “I am truly grateful that you found him before… well, before more serious harm was done.”

Lestrade looks at him directly, openly, and Mycroft imagines this is the face he uses when interrogating a suspect. “You don’t know what to do with him.”

Surprised at the deduction, he responds. “I have taken some measures. It seems what I’ve attempted has not been successful, but I have the means to try other things.”

“What about your parents?”

“Our parents are not able to fully grasp the problem. Sherlock has always been… difficult. They have never understood him, and blame themselves for his problems. The matter elicits a great deal of emotion, and I have elected to be my brother’s keeper, so to speak, in order to spare them that ordeal.”

“Mr Holmes, I can’t claim to know Sherlock as well as you do, but I know a thing or two about addiction. The measures you’ve taken… well, nothing’s going to work until he’s ready to work on himself.”

Mycroft smiles grimly. “Mr Lestrade, I’m sure you’ve met many junkies in your line of work, but I’m equally sure you’ve never met anyone like Sherlock.”

“True enough. First time I met him he was high, stumbled on a crime scene I was investigating. It was like he had x-ray vision or something. Described exactly what had happened, pointed out where the murder weapon was, even suggested that the murderer was left-handed and had a limp. I didn’t dismiss him as a nut job because I could see it all— he was right.”

Mycroft’s smile is more genuine now. “My brother is several levels above any junkie you’ve met, Mr Lestrade. His problem is one he could solve, if he turned his mind to it. He resents my interference, however, and resists the measures I’ve taken. I will not give up on him, however long it takes. You need not feel responsible for Sherlock.”

Lestrade stares down at his hands, which he holds clenched in his lap. When he speaks, his voice has lost something of the policeman.

“Forgive me for speaking so freely. I know what it’s like to talk to someone on the phone, to say see you later, knowing that it might be the last thing you say to them. Guarding your words so you won’t sound bitter, won’t drive him away, when all you want to do is shake some sense into him, scream at him, lock him up until you can make him right.”

“Ah.” Mycroft leans back. “Your own brother.”

Lestrade smiles. “Five years younger than me, baby of the family. Our parents worked hard, and we did all right. All of us but Andy. I don’t know why. He was bright enough to do anything, be anything. We loved him, but something made him feel unloveable. It was never enough.”

“I’m sorry.” There really isn’t anything else to say when someone admits something so personal. This conversation is far more personal than he wants it to be.

“I always take an interest in the addicts because of Andy. Maybe I can figure it out, save someone when I couldn’t do anything for him. Last time Sherlock and I spoke, I made him an offer, said I’d be willing to talk to him about homicide cases I’m working on, if he stays clean. He seemed to like that idea, said he might be a ‘consulting detective,’ the one I come to when I’m in over my head.”

Mycroft shakes his head slightly. “Sherlock is meant for something greater than police work, Mr Lestrade. I’m afraid you’ll find he quickly loses interest.”

“I don’t know, Mr Holmes. What police do matters. I’m not suggesting that Sherlock would make a good policeman. I saw a spark in him, though, one I hadn’t seen the other times we talked. Even if solving a crime is just an intellectual exercise to him, it might be the thing that keeps him from needing his next dose. That’s how you solve addiction, I think, one dose at a time.”

“That’s very simplistic.” Mycroft frowns now. “Believe me, I understand what rehab entails. And I know the success rates of most programmes.”

“True, there are a lot of failures. I don’t mean to suggest that I can cure him. You can’t cure an addict. But you can give them something else, something that absorbs them, even for a while. And maybe over time they’ll learn that there is something they want more than drugs.”

“You’re asking my permission,” Mycroft says. “I give it to you with conditions. First, you must not let him in simply to let him down. If you invite him to solve things, you will need to keep giving him things to solve. I’m not sure that’s feasible, but it is my condition. Do not treat him like a hobby.”

“I wouldn’t.” Lestrade looks at him solemnly. “I’m doing this because I think I can help him, and it would go against everything in me not to try.”

“I have another condition. You must check in with me and let me know if you see him slipping. Sherlock doesn’t see me often, doesn’t answer my calls. As I’ve said, he resents my efforts to help. You will recognise the signs. If he’s doing poorly, I want to know. I don’t care about confidences and trust between you and my brother. I must know if he is in danger.”

“I’m willing to do that.”

“Even if it involves lying to him?”

This gives the detective pause. “I want him to trust me, and lying to him would break that. I don’t want him to think I’m working for you. At the same time, I won’t pass along anything you say to me; our conversations will remain confidential.”

“In addition.” He sighs. “I am appalled that I must say this, but I would be remiss not to mention it. Do not use my brother. People have used him before, taken advantage of him. I’m not suggesting that you are the type of person who would do that. I don’t know you, Detective Inspector Lestrade. But if I ever learn that you have done such a thing—” He breaks off, giving him the humourless smile that explains more than words. “It would be very unfortunate.”

“Of course.” Lestrade looks sad. “I would never.”

“Very well, then.”

He extends his hand. Lestrade takes it, gives it one shake, and nods. “You’ll be hearing from me.”

---

Shoutouts to everyone who is writing these! I'm so impressed 💕 Please keep writing your mini-epics, fluffy/angsty one-shots, hilarious AUs, limericks, and whatever else your brain comes up with. Please do tag people, and if you're posting on AO3 as well, consider adding to my MayPrompts2024 Collection. Much love to you all 💕

#mayprompts2024 #my fics #bbc sherlock #mycroft holmes

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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AITA for not supporting my friend’s relationship?

(@aita mod I pinky promise that this is not an “aita for thinking/feeling something” submission, I’m just a long winded mf)

Okay this is admittedly stupid stupid dumb but it’s bothering the hell out of me so here we go. I (26X) have a friend (23NB) who recently got into a nice, stable(?) relationship after a string of messy short-term ones. They’ve been dating for ~2 months now, and the guy (early 30s?M) seems really nice and genuine. My friend is very happy and gushes about him constantly, which makes sense because the relationship is fairly new and their most recent previous relationships were with people who weren’t very open or communicative at all. I feel like the only valid reason I could possibly have to not like this dude is the age gap, which is more of a personal ick as I’m not really comfortable with dating anyone more than 5 years older/younger than me. They’re both adults and it’s their love life, so whatever.

The thing is, I just…do not share their enthusiasm for this guy. At all. He seems like a cool guy, but the fact that he’s dating my friend just isn’t jiving in my brain for whatever reason. I’m getting an inexplicable weird vibe. When I see a picture of them doing cute couple shit on instagram or wherever, my reaction isn’t “that’s adorable, I’m so happy for [friendname]!” or even “I’m glad they’re happy!” It’s more like “eugh, why are they doing that? I don’t want to see this.” This isn’t a normal reaction for me at all. I’m usually very supportive of my friends’ relationships as long as there are no obvious red flags. The only reason I can think of as to why I might be reacting this way is that an acquaintance of mine was pushing me to get with this same guy a couple years ago for NO REASON, and I was absolutely not interested, so it might be leftover discomfort from that. I don’t (consciously?) hold that against him though, that was 100% my acquaintance’s strange bullshit. I’m mostly into women and fem dudes, so there’s no latent attraction to my (masc leaning) friend or their bf involved either.

Here’s the part where I might be the asshole: because of my weird uncomfortable reaction to seeing this dude and my friend together, I haven’t been liking or commenting on posts/messages/etc about them being together or how wonderful this guy is. Social media interaction/validation is a big thing for them, and eventually they noticed that I wasn’t interacting with anything pertaining to their relationship. I don’t think I was obvious about it or anything, just operating on the “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” principle. Regardless, they asked me about it, and I went completely deer-in-the-headlights. I ended up saying something like “I just didn’t have anything to say about those posts, it’s not really my business” but I could tell they weren’t convinced. They asked me what I thought of the guy and I told them he seemed nice but I didn’t know him that well. I think that just made them more suspicious because I’ve been working for the same company as the guy for about 3 years now, but it is technically true. After my first few months I got transferred to a different department and haven’t seen him since.

They looked really disappointed and asked me if I could try to be a little more supportive of their relationship online, reminding me that this is “the first nice person [they’ve] dated in years” and that they “went through hell to find him.” (I think they were referring to their most recent breakups and exaggerating hardcore. They were messy, but I’ve heard every little detail about those relationships from them and they sounded like they ended due to plain old incompatibility/lack of interest. I would only call one of their recent exes “not a nice person.”) They ended the conversation by telling me that they trusted me and my approval was really important to them, which made me feel like shit, but it didn’t really make me see the relationship in a different light or anything. l definitely FEEL like an asshole, because even after they talked to me about it I have no plans to lie and act super into their boyfriend when I’m not. I realize how petty all of this sounds, but it’s obviously affecting my friend a lot, or else they wouldn’t have spoken to me about it in person. It just feels like I’d be an even worse friend if I started regularly lying to them about what I think of their relationship, even though I don’t have a valid reason for feeling the way I do. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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shsy7573 · 4 months

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Random Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel) Character/Song Analysis Kinda Thing… I Guess

Okay, so yeah, Luci has 100% taken over this page. So what? I’m not obsessed, you are.

Anyway, I’ve been listening to “More Than Anything” on repeat since it dropped, and like a lot of the fandom I tear up every single time… but unlike a lot of the fandom, it’s not because of the sweet father-daughter moment (which, don’t get me wrong, doesn’t help the situation because it’s just so damn wholesome).

No, what gets me is how, just through a couple subtle moments, the show is able to convey just how absolutely shattered Luci is as a character. And, you know, because he’s my favourite, bestest, snek-baby-duck-boy, it makes me a little emotional…

So now you’re all gonna hear about what goes through my mind every time I listen to it. YAY!

“Charlie! You don’t understand, Heaven never listens. They didn’t listen to me. They won’t listen to you!” / “You don’t know that—” / “I do!”

It starts before the song even truly begins. When I’m listening, it’s usually these first few lines that grab my attention. I end up replaying the first 4-5 seconds of the song over and over again because the pain in that “I do” is so fucking good! (And because I like to suffer apparently cuz I end up sad. Life of an angst lover I guess).

It’s the first time we see him with actual tears in his eyes. The raw delivery of that line is so attention grabbing, and manages to say so much in such little words.

I think the reason this particular scene tickles my brain so much is because it’s the breaking point for his character in a way. I am, and always will be, a sucker for moments where a character’s walls finally come down, and we get to see what’s been festering inside. When their deepest thoughts and how much they’re hurting are revealed. The entire song is what that is for Lucifer, starting with these two words right here. I truly cannot put into words just how much my breath is taken away by Jeremy’s delivery of this line. I cannot articulate how much I love it, and how important it is for Luci’s character. it just hits so deep and so right for me and I love it.

Lucifer isn’t just saying that he knows Heaven isn’t going to care about her plan (I don’t think anyone thought that’s all he was saying but whatever). He is saying that he knows what Heaven does to dreamers. He knows what they’ll do because he has already been there, and it destroyed him. They took his ideas that they saw as too outlandish, and they squashed them. Cast him aside. And he paid the price for it when he went bashing their back and did his own thing anyway.

Luci is a broken dreamer. Throughout the entire episode, and the series as a while, we are given very strong hints of this. However, it’s not until this song that we really see it in action. It’s not until these moments that we are able to see past both the veils of “Imposing King of Hell” and “Goofy Guy who’s trying his best but not great at Dadding,” and get a look at how genuinely depressed this man is.

“My dreams were too hard to defend.”

This scene eight here. The more I see it, the more I fall in love with it. Just a great example of ‘show don’t tell.’

He’s talking about having big ideas, he’s talking about giving people a chance and reaching outside the normal, he’s talking about being cast out of Heaven. I just love the parallel he’s drawing between Charlie’s mission, and his own past.

Charlie created the hotel in an attempt to give people who have been seen as lesser to all of Heaven some sort of chance. She is choosing to have faith in them, and to open up opportunities for them to lead a better life.

Lucifer, when he gave Eve the fruit, was taking a chance to allow humanity the chance to have free will. He wanted them to experience everything life had to offer for themselves like angels got to. He offered a chance for them to lead a better life.

He had everything, and he had complete faith that what he was doing was right. All the light and hope of his dreams was right in the palm of his hand. He had so many ideas that he thought, if they were saw through, would make the world a better place.

But it didn’t work out for him.

“And in the end, I won’t lose it all again.”

Now, the first seconds of dialogue may be what I keep rewatching, but this has got to be my favourite visual of the entire song. It’s such powerful imagery, and I fangirl over it every time.

Look at how small he looks in that shot (I know, I know, he’s tiny regardless, but like seriously). He is completely outnumbered, hopelessly overpowered, totally at the mercy of all his Heavenly superiors… and he’s all alone.

He lost everything because he had the gall to dream. It’s not hard to look at the song (and the episode at large, really) and find not only his feelings of being wronged, but also his immense guilt. It shows in how much he hates Sinners. They are basically the worst of what he did, a constant reminder of the day his mistake caused him to lose his home and everything he held dear, and they are all he gets to see. Only being permitted to see your failures for all eternity? No wonder he’s fucking depressed.

The day Heaven cast him out was the day he stopped dreaming. Because dreaming big only leads to pain, failure, and suffering.

“I just don’t want you to be crushed by them like… like I was.”

This next moment is kinda self explanatory and obvious and really doesn’t need any commentary, but I’m gonna talk about it anyway. Because I love it, and I love him, and… you know… angst. I’ve mentioned my lust for it several times now throughout this post, you really shouldn’t be surprised.

I just feel so bad for him. Lucifer made one mistake. One simple, misguided mistake that ended up introducing evil into the world, and all of Heaven came down on him for it. And, you know what, in the narrative presented by the show, what he did wasn’t that bad. He just wanted to give the world’s newest creations the same freedom angels had, and it backfired horribly. Lucifer, like Charlie, was an idealist who saw the best in people and wanted to help.

And what did he get for his good intentions? Shoved into the cesspool he unintentionally created, and forbidden to ever see anything good that came from his dream.

If I had to guess, Lilith was the only thing keeping his mental health afloat for a long time… and then they had Charlie.

“The tales about your lofty dreams. I’d listen breathlessly, imaging it could be me.”

His daughter became the light of his life. Something that he cherished and indulged more than anything else in the world. To him, she was perfect, and he wanted to do right by her in any way he could.

Lilith told their daughter stories of all her father’s dreams regardless of what he thought of them, and when the little princess came asking him… how could he refuse? How could he refuse her anything?

So he shared them with her. All the tales of grandeur, and fantasies of everything he wished the world could have been. All the dreams he had long since let go.

“And in the end, it’s the view I had of you that show me dreams can be worth fighting for.”

Now, the scene where Lily take’s Charlie away has always been excellent brain fodder for me because of how somewhat ambiguous it is. You could interpret his sadness to have SO MANY meanings. However, I have inevitably decided on two potential head-cannons/theories to share here for what could possibly be going through Snek-King’s head.

One: Lucifer loves his daughter, but he feels estranged and like he’s failed her in some way. She’s such a joy, such a wonder, and in a way it's his fault she’s trapped down here with all of human ties worst. He wasn’t to be close to her, and to make the world perfect for her… but he already feels like he’s failed her in the most unforgivable way. He keeps his distance because part of him doesn’t want her to have a super high of an opinion of him. It’s kind of his depression manifesting, saying that ‘she shouldn’t admire you and your stupid dreams when they’re the reason she’ll never see true light and happiness.’

The angst addict in me likes this one more, but still I’ve got another one that always pops.

Two: He feels like he’s selling her false hope, and he can kind of see the place her innocence is headed. He’s seen the horrors of the world, and he knows the more he indulges her dreams and fantasies, the more she’ll suffer when she sees that’s not what the world is like. He knows from personal experience how much it hurts when your dreams come undone, when you lose hope in the world.

Listening to Charlie’s actual lyrics, she tells him that he was the one who inspired her to dream, that he was right to dream, and that she’s not going to back down. In the song, Luci realises that 1: maybe he didn’t fuck us as badly as he thought and that she actually doesn’t blame him and wants her in his life and/or 2: she has her mother’s willpower, and she’s never going to stop dreaming or let her world be sullied like he did. She’s so much stronger than he was.

So he lets her in.

(Side note… AWWW, look how TINNYY he is! He’s so small. The start contrast in the second image gets me every time)

There’s a bit of symbolism in the song which I ABSOLUTELY adore, and it has to do with the wings. In the flashback, Charlie mentions his “lofty dreams,” when we see the duck, which later transforms to have multiple sets of wings. Later in the song, when Lucifer finally lets her in, he also sprouts those wings.

And I just love this, because I think it acts as the perfect symbolism of him finally opening his mind again. Not just to his daughter, but to the possibility of dreaming in general.

He takes her to a circus, a place filled to the brim with spectacles and thrills, a place where humanities wildest imaginations seem possible.

But even though he’s beginning to open up, and he’s willing to help her in whatever she does, he’s not ‘fixed.’ His depression and self doubt and feelings of hollow emptiness and guilt and apprehension aren’t gone.

And he’s still terrified of seeing her spark go out like his did.

This tiny smile break is so addicting to watch for me. It speaks volumes. Once again, my angst loving heart eats it up every time. It says, “I’m still worried, and there is still so much shit going on in my mind right now about all of this, but I’m here for you.”

And that’s what counts.

Luci’s character showed a lot of colours, and came a long way in this singular episode, but he’s still got a big uphill battle to climb. He still has to come back into his own where dreams are concerned. Maybe he never will, not completely. Realistically, he’ll never go back to the way he was.

But maybe, just maybe, in helping his daughter he’ll find something worth believing in again.

That is, of course, if they decide to give him a character arc beside ‘Dad who is trying and doing better,’ but for that only time will tell.

—

And THAT concludes my rant on the Rubber Ducky Ruler. If you stuck around this long, good for you! I wrote this whole thing on a limb at midnight, and NO I’m not going to go back and edit it because why would I ever want to see all the horrid grammatical and spelling errors I’ve inevitably made.

Maybe I’m off the mark on all of this. Maybe I’m head-cannoning too much. Maybe I’m just trying to suck out every hint of potential angst out of a song that’s supposed to be sweet and wholesome. That’s for you to decide. But for me, I’ve decided that I’m satisfied with this analysis. In the end, I just needed to express all the thoughts bumbling around in my head SOMEWHERE before I exploded, and unfortunately, I feel like I’ve run all my friends dry talking about this baby to them, so now it’s your turn. But, anyways, I think that about wraps things up. It’s time to go to bed.

Farewell, stay hydrated, and have a lovely rest of your day/night :)

#hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #lucifer #character analysis #kind of #bless my angst loving heart #I just had to talk about him

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water-to-drink · 1 year

Text

Be a Gladiolus in a Field of Belladonnas pt4

(Summary): After your sudden disappearance from the face of Tevyat, some people take the time to discuss their next move

Part 1 Last Part Next Part

✧ Masterlist ✧

(Characters): Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Nahida, Venti, abyss prince!Aether, traveler!Lumine, Paimon

(Warnings): Not proof read, characters might be ooc

(A/n): I didn’t think a lot of people would enjoy this little idea, but hey I love writing stories and I hope you guys enjoy the rest that I have planned out

∘◦ ✧ ◦∘ means flashback

─────────── ✧ ───────────

It’s been a few weeks after your detainment and escape things have changed at the Dawn Winery, the once cheery mood you brought was now replaced with one of bitterness

The entire household have refrained from bringing up any mention of you so to not upset anyone, especially the master of the house

He’s taken up to locking himself in his study, completely drowning himself in work. It’s gotten to the point where the servants would urge him to eat a proper dinner instead of the small meals he would request sparingly

It looked like today would be just like that until a servant Moco announced that Diluc had a visitor

“Hello Diluc.” Kaeya said as he waved while leaning on the doorframe

“Agghhhh! Leave, I’m in no mood to deal with you!” Diluc grunted

“Aww don’t be like that, is it so wrong to see how my dear brother is doing?” The blue haired hand said as he sauntered towards his brother’s desk

“If I entertain you for 5 minutes will you leave?”

“Make it 10, then I’ll leave.”

“Fine…”

“So how have you been doing?”

“Good, I suppose. The knights have came to my door multiple times but haven’t but haven’t arrested me yet.” Diluc explains as he leans back on his chair. “I figure I should thank you for that.”

“I’ve been trying to explain that you don’t pose a threat to anyone, but ever since the failed execution and the traveler’s betrayal everyone’s been really tense.” Kaeya leans in towards Diluc. “Apparently the Creator is going crazy just looking for them.”

“By ‘them’ I assume you mean Mentir? If you’re here to get any information on their whereabouts then I can’t help you.” Diluc crossed his arms. “But I would assume you know their location when you were the one who aided in their escape.”

The cocky smirk on Kaeya’s face still held on but a slight panic flashed in his eye

“Whatever do you mean, dear brother?”

“Don’t play dumb with me,” Diluc asserted as he got out of his seat and was eye to eye with his brother. “I know you helped Mentir along with someone else!”

Kaeya’s face fell flat and began to make his way towards the window

“Throwing accusations that severe, are dangerous Diluc,” Kaeya feigned as he threw the curtains, after drenching the study in darkness he walked towards the door. “with how things have been, one wrong comment could cost someone their reputation or worse their life. He continued as he opened the door and looked down the hallway to see if someone was listening in. Seeing no one, he closed the door and locked it from the inside

Kaeya walked back to his previous spot and looked Diluc with a serious expression that is rarely seen

“I remember we always used to try to listen in on dad’s conversations but never heard a sound, I’m pretty sure I could yell at the top of my lungs and no one would hear.” The captain commented

“What are you getting at?”

“I’m just letting you know my appreciation for the soundproofing of this room.”

“That has nothing to do with you abetting the escape of a criminal!”

“Isn’t referring to Mentir as a ‘criminal’ a bit too harsh, I would assume you would call them something a lot nicer considering you opened your home to them.”

Diluc harrowed his eyes at Kaeya, getting ready to summon is claymore if need be

“Think about it, why would you a social recluse, let a stranger into your home who you just met in the forest at night?” Kaeya said as his movements became increasingly more genuine, a complete contrast from his controlled and practiced movements he would do when interrogated people for information. “Unless, their was something about them that felt familiar to you, an aura they radiated that you experienced before…” Kaeya put his hands on the desk and leaned in towards the redhead on the other side. “Like when you were used as a vessel…”

“Are you implying that Mentir is the Creator?!” Diluc spat back, his body language getting more visibly tense

“I’m not implying, I’m downright saying it.”

“If you knew Mentir was the Creator? Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“Their name is (y/n) and I thought you wouldn’t want any information from a ‘heathenistic Khaenri’ahn spy’ dear brother.”

“Is you dropping this bomb on me the reason why you’re here?”

“I’m here to ask if you know the whereabouts of their Grace.”

“I don’t know, as I said before I would assume you have some idea on their general whereabouts.”

“That was the plan, Lumine was supposed to contact me when she found a safe place for them.”

“I could report you to the knights for spouting such blasphemous claims and conspiring against this ‘faker’ as you so claim.”

“Hehe. I know you won’t do that, want to know why? Because I know you and your sense of justice wouldn’t let you live with you turning me in.” Kaeya explained as he got up and walked towards the door before stopping and turning to Diluc. “And most of all, you don’t want to get rid of the remaining family you have left. Because no matter what we have between us, we’ll always be brothers. Least that’s what I think.”

As Kaeya walked out the door Diluc was left alone in complete darkness and with his thoughts

A truly awful combination

─────────── ✧ ───────────

In the neighboring of Liyue, two archons walk through Tianqiu Valley. The oldest and youngest of the Seven walk side by side admiring the scenery the region has to offer

“Your nation is magnificent, Mora.”

“Thank you, Buer. I’ve formed this nation into what their Grace would’ve liked.”

“What was the Creator like, before they died?”

“They were an amazing person, they had a wisdom and philocaly that I haven’t seen in any other being.”

∘◦ ✧ ◦∘

“Your Grace! Yahoo!” A high pitched voice called out

You turn your head to see Barbatos waving towards you and Morax

“Barbatos! How are you?” You gave the god a bright smile that rivaled the brightest of stars

“Wonderful, thank you very much.”

Morax scoffed at the laidback nature the wind god would often have when addressing you, seeing the behavior as childish at best and sacrilegious at worst. But you gave a little chuckle showing no contempt

“I see you brought your lyre, do you have a song you want to play?” You asked

“Why yes, your Grace! I actually wrote a song just for you.” Barbatos spoke

The deity readied his lyre and became playing his tune with the upmost care and passion. His fingers pluck the strings with grace he rarely shows

Once the ballad ends the smaller god looked at you expectantly

“Barbatos, that was lovely!”

“I don’t know why you entertain such foolishness, your Grace.”

“Don’t be like that Morax. Everything on this planet is beautiful in its own way.” You held your hand up as a crystal fly began to land on a finger. “Even from the most vibrant gardens to the moss that grows on rocks.” The crystal fly fluttered its wings as it flew away.

“Everything has a right to exist how it wants to exist.” You said as you watched the creature flying further out of sight

∘◦ ✧ ◦∘

“The sadness in their eyes is something that will never leave me no matter how long I’ll live.” Zhongli ended

“Ohh…” Nahida said as she looked down. “They seem to be very different from that, person.”

“They truly are but there is another reason why I called for you.”

Zhongli extended his hand and a petal appeared out of thin air. The petal didn’t appear to resemble any of the fauna native to Teyvat, it was light gold color and looked to be it was just plucked from the flower

A bright light blinded Nahida, shielded her eyes from the intense brightness

“You can open your eyes, Buer.” Zhongli spoke

Following his instructions, Nahida opened her eyes and was greeted by the sight of a massive library. The shelves nearly reached the tall ceiling, all containing books of multiple formats, including hardcovers, scrolls, stone tablets, you name it

“This domain once belonged to our Grace, but fell into mine and your hands when they fell.” Zhongli explained as he ushered Nahida to follow him. “In your previous form, you helped collect manuscripts pertaining to the Creator.”

“This collection much be very extensive, it puts the library at the House of Daena to shame. I would love to read at least a percentage from here!”

“Thank you, Buer. Once this issue has been resolved you’ll be free to read anything from here.”

Nahida was a bit too excited to notice Zhongli stopped walking and bumped into him. She took a step back and saw what the two were standing in front of

A door with an unknown symbol on the front of it

“What’s behind this door?” The dendro archon asked

“I don’t know, we’ve tried to open it but to no avail. The door was here when I first came here. I was hoping if there’s anything in the Akademiya that would give us some insight on how to open the door.”

“I’ll see what I can find. I do hope that we can see what this door is hiding.”

─────────── ✧ ───────────

The months in the abyss changed you, the once scared outlander transformed into a resilient fighter, both physically and emotionally.

You mastered sword fighting thanks to the training you had with Lumine. Once getting little nicks every time you and the traveler exchange blows, now someone who can keep up with her

Along with that one could say you radiated the same level of command your doppelganger had, but the thing that separated you from them is your compassion

You treated everyone as your equal, never holding your authority over the heads of everyone else. You showed respect even to the hilichurls and mages, never dreamed of raising a hand to anyone who displeased you (as if anyone would ever try)

“(Y/n)!” A high pitched voice brought you out of your thoughts

You turned around to see Paimon and the twins following close behind

“We’ve been looking for you all over the

“Paimon can you stop calling the Creator by their name, it’s very disrespectful.” Aether reprimanded

“It’s fine, I prefer it if you use my name anyway.” You explained

The floating fairy looked at Aether with a smug grin on her face

“Is there anything you want to talk to me about?” You asked

“Ahem! Well I came to see how you’re adjusting to life here, I can be very hard on those who just came from the surface.”

“I’m doing great actually, I wasn’t expecting to get used to being here this quickly.”

“That’s good to hear, I heard from Lumine that your training is coming along nicely.”

“Well, what can I say? When I have the renowned traveler teaching me.”

“Ohh stop it, you pick up the sword very quickly I ran out of things to teach you.” Lumine said trying to hide the blush creeping up on her face

“Lumine’s right, it’s almost like you wielded a sword before and were really good at it.” Paimon added

“You think so, hopefully I’m quick to learn abyssal magic.”

“I don’t think that would possible?” Aether said

“Why is that?” Lumine asked

“Because abyssal magic is a lot more complicated to control than the 7 elements, it would be easier if you learn said elements first.” The prince explained

“Really…?” You said as you stroked your chin. “Okay, then let’s get to learning the elements.”

“Uh, do you know what that would look like? It would mean that you would have to go and be out of the abyss.” Aether advised

“I can’t stay here forever, and I certainly can’t let that tyrant go punished. And besides…” You clasps your hands behind your back and leaned in towards the blond guy. “I’ll have you and Lumine with me!”

“WHAT?!”

─────────── ✧ ───────────

Tags

@tartarsaucechi1de @chuuya-brainrot

If anyone wants to be on the taglist, just say so

#genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin sagau #genshin imposter au #sagau #self aware genshin #genshin cult au #sagau zhongli #sagau nahida #sagau diluc #sagau kaeya #sagau aether #sagau lumine

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hammysamhah · 4 months

Text

hello peoples i’m about to sound real crazy right now but hear me out cus i’ve been thinking this for awhile now while binge watching TBGO and Trollstopia and i need to know your thoughts!! and buckle up folks cus this is gonna be a LONG post

so okay basically, i think that in the shows Guy Diamond has some sort of generational trauma/ daddy issues/ faced parental neglect or however else it can be phrased.

this theory is only show specific and i don’t know if i sound crazy for thinking this AND i know i’ve made a post similarly about this except with Dareth from Ninjago but i actually have some real evidence this time to back up this theory/headcanon

look, this theory started off as kind of a joke at first after watching TBGO episode: “Trolly Tales 3” where Guy is seen telling a bunch of children a story based off of the nursery rhyme about jumping over a candlestick.

the story is seen with Guy as the main character, wanting to pursue a life of entertainment involving jumping over candlesticks. Sky Toronto, whom is Guy’s dad in this story, doesn’t agree with this lifestyle and insists he starts thinking more seriously and be part of the company. Guy rebels and pursues his dream anyway, but in the end it fails after the candlestick drops Guy and becomes a solo act. Guy, now at his lowest, goes back to his dad’s and tells him he’s ready to be serious. Sky responds to the statement that he has seen Guy’s shows and that he doesn’t want Guy calling him dad anymore, but to instead call him his #1 fan. it was a small but sweet twist there at the end where the dad accepts the son in the end.

now i didn’t really give much thought to the story until i saw the way Guy reacted when the kids didn’t like it. now i’ll make it very aware that i very much know Guy is just super dramatic (they even acknowledged that in the scene i’m mentioning rn), BUT as someone who loves to overanalyze cartoon characters and expressions, he kind of looked genuinely hurt. he was also fairly offended when poppy said his story was too dramatic.

mentioning again that i know Guy is just a drama queen but i like to overanalyze stuff like this

now after i noticed these details, i jokingly remarked that it seemed like Guy took the dislike of his story personally, as if that was a semi-true story. like as if something like that did happen to Guy when he was younger and he twisted the story to fit the nursery rhyme. i don’t think that Sky Toronto is his actual dad, there’s too much proof that shows they don’t have any personal connection like that. but i do think that whoever his dad really was did push him the same way Sky did in the story. and that maybe Guy twisted the ending to be happy when in reality it probably didn’t have his dad accepting him and loving him for who he was.

now everything i have been talking about is all just speculation. there’s no real proof that this story isn’t anything more than just a story. BUT!!! by overanalyzing it is what made me realize that Guy being neglected in some way by his dad (or mom if he has one) would make some sense considering his personality.

Guy is very reliant on being the center of attention, he doesn’t like the idea of anyone being better than him and just has some confidence issues in general (at least in TBGO). there are many episodes centering around this. this is even stated in Guy Damond’s wiki.

now, attention seeking is a very common occurrence in people that were neglected as a child. his attention seeking and huge ego are both things that show signs of trauma or neglect as seen below

this is just a slice of what i have in store though because i think that this ties into the way he parents Tiny Diamond in Trollstopia.

Guy and Tiny have a few episodes centered around their relationship, they’re all pretty heartwarming and a little sad (while also being funny because the show’s a comedy). these episodes have a pretty similar moral which is “i’ll love you no matter what” and i feel like there’s a reason they all pretty much have this moral and it’s to show how Guy is growing as a character and parent.

let me just summarize these episodes i am thinking of realll quick for ya

Extra Tootering (s1 ep 12a): Tiny wants to learn how to glitter fart like his dad to impress his friends, Guy tries to teach him how but it doesn’t work. time comes where Tiny is meant to show his friends his trick and ended up faking it so no one could know he couldn’t do it. feeling guilty for his lie, he runs away and Guy finds him and tells him that whether he can glitter or not he and his friends will still love him the way he is.

Dad-urday (s2 ep 1b): Tiny thinks of his dad as his hero and Guy doesn’t wanna do ANYTHING that could ever break that image, so Guy participates in Dad-urday events that he hates just to make Tiny happy, only in the end to find out that Tiny will always view Guy as his hero even if he can’t do all the typical dad things that others can do.

Funder Construction (s7 ep 5a): Guy tells Tiny about how their family has a legacy of building extraordinaryly cool blanket forts and unintentionally pressured Tiny into feeling that he needs to make his own super impressive fort or else he won’t be considered a Diamond, Guy immediately comforted and reassured Tiny that no matter what he accomplishes in life he’ll always be a Diamond because he’s his son and that he’ll love him no matter what.

now let me break down these episodes a bit more to show you how i think it could prove Guy has parental trauma and how it plays into how he parents now.

for Extra Tootering, there’s this specific scene that spoke to me. when Tiny tells his dad that he wants to learn how to glitter like him, Guy tells him that he was also a late tooter and that Tiny should be patient, as it comes with time. but then Tiny starts saying that he’ll just hide his true self away until then. when Guy heard his son say those things, he was tearing up and even freaked out a little literally shouting a dramatic “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” and he immediately decided that he was going to help his son learn to glitter fart despite his earlier statement that Tiny should be patient.

now i know the topic being about farting glitter makes this feel so unserious but that isn’t gonna stop me from overanalyzing it LOL

the main thing i noticed was how upset that Guy was when Tiny started talking about hiding himself from the world. Tiny was wanting to hide himself because he couldn’t glitter like Guy could. Guy didn’t wanna be the cause of his son hiding himself!! any parent would be upset in this situation. but if i consider my past point of that story Guy told back in TBGO, where the dad didn’t want his son to be himself, being a real thing that Guy could’ve gone through, Tiny wanting to hide himself could very much upset Guy!! not just for the basic reasons of wanting your child to be happy but also because he doesn’t want Tiny to go through what he went through.

later on when Guy finally finds his runaway son, this interaction plays out:

(direct quotes from the ep)

Guy: “don’t you see? i love you just the way you are! we all do!”

Tiny: “but you’re my daddy, daddy! you have to say that.”

Guy: “…you’re right, Tiny. i guess because i’m your father, in a way, i do have to say it.”

and the way Guy said that last sentence just felt interesting to me. the pause before he said it, and using the words “i guess” made it feel like he never really got that treatment from his own father ? ofc i could just be grasping at straws there a lil bit but it’s what i’m thinking.

now by the end of the episode Tiny has learned how to glitter and used it to save himself, his dad, and friends from falling to death lol— but what Guy says to Tiny afterwards was very sweet.

(direct quote from ep)

Guy: “TINYYYYY! HAHA! you did it! YOOOOU did it!!! for the record, i’d still love you if you couldn’t, but i’m glad to not be dead.”

i just like how Guy specified that he still would’ve loved Tiny either way. this doesn’t directly lead any points to my theory other than maybe Guy feels the need to make sure Tiny absolutely knows that he’ll love him no matter what. but any parent should feel that way about their child. i just really thought the moment was sweet and worth a mention.

now onto the next episode, Dad-urday, and let me tell you this episode probably spoke to me the MOST when it came to defending my theory.

for the entire episode Guy was stressing over disappointing his son. Tiny thinks of Guy as his hero, and Guy doesn’t want to do anything that could ever shatter that thought and make Tiny think less of him. so he and Tiny participate in a thing called Dad-urday, where all the dads in Trollstopia do a bunch of stereotypical dad things (like grill, play catch, fish, stuff like that). but Guy isn’t good at those things, so he goes to his friends for help and this interaction pursues.

(direct quotes from ep)

Synth: “Tiny’s gonna love dad-urday! he thinks the world of you and what-not!”

Guy: “exactly! Tiny thinks i can do anything! but tomorrow he’ll realize i can’t, and i just don’t want my little boy to lose his hero…”

Guy is seen here putting so much pressure on himself for no reason! he should know that Tiny would love him despite his lack of ‘dad’ skills, but he’s convinced himself that if he isn’t perfect and amazing at everything then his son will think less of him. this is totally rooted in Guy’s confidence issues and probable parental neglect i think.

so Guy forces himself to do typical Dad-urday things (with the help of his friends) to make sure not to disappoint his son. but things go wrong when Guy has to participate in a boating event to which he gets into a dangerous position. at this point Guy’s friends finally told Tiny the truth and Tiny immediately just wants his dad to get out of the danger he’s in leading to this interaction

(direct quotes from the ep)

Tiny: “daddy! your daddy friends already told me everything! you gotta get out of there!”

Guy: “b-but— this isn’t how i wanted this to go, Tiny! you’re my little boy! and i want you to keep on believing i can do anything! so you don’t lose your hero!”

the way that Guy sounded so panicked and upset in this scene really hurt. to me it feels like Guy is desperate to not end up being a bad dad, he wants to be someone his son can look up to and to be the first person he goes to if there’s a problem. i really think this shows that Guy never had a good role model himself, as he doesn’t understand that he doesn’t need to do all the things he’s making himself do in order to achieve this goal.

this mindset even had Guy forget that Tiny already knew he’s not perfect, as Tiny pointed out he already knew he’s not capable of everything and specified about when Guy tried to build his bike and failed, which made Guy finally remember. Tiny then proceeded to list a bunch of other things about his dad that aren’t the most charming, like his bald spot, or his fake calves lmao

anyways the next bit of dialogue here seems pretty meaningful

(direct quotes)

Tiny: “there’s only one reason you’re my hero, daddy…. *BECAUSE* you’re my daddy!”

Guy (tearfully): “…really?”

the fact Guy was crying in this scene just showed how touched he felt that he didn’t actually have to be perfect to be a good dad. and that he already was one. the mere fact that being his dad made Tiny think of him as his hero definitely made him realize he was doing a good job. he needed to hear that after all the pressure he put on himself earlier.

now onto Funder Construction, which is a pretty big one too cus they actually talk about their family in this episode!

this could potentially put a little dent into my theory since Guy is the one who talks about them and he didn’t seem like someone who didn’t like his family. but i might just put it as he didn’t wanna have his child worry about it. i mean Guy is an actor in the show, it wouldn’t be too crazy for him to ignore his feelings for a minute and talk a little kindly about their family’s legacy to inspire Tiny, because Guy did play a fair part in it after all.

now to put it simply this episode hurt my heart so bad 😭 Guy’s parenting in this episode is so good it hurt. Tiny found an interest in making blanket forts, so Guy tells Tiny about how making blanket forts runs in the family and that they’ve all made huge creations out of them. and now Tiny wants to do the same.

Guy supports Tiny throughout the entire thing until Tiny starts rushing it and the fort becomes unstable. by then Guy is begging Tiny to stop but Tiny is consistent on getting it done. then the tower starts wobbling over with them on it and they fall off the side! luckily they were able to hold onto some loose blankets but they still were in a very unsafe position. and even then, still Tiny is consistent about finishing this fort and thus, this interaction pursues:

(direct quotes)

Tiny: “i have to build something the world has never seen before!”

Guy: “BUT WHY?!”

Tiny: “because if i don’t…i’m not a Diamond.”

Guy: “…not a Diamond..?”

and dude. Guy’s face after Tiny said that. that brief moment of just an emotion change felt like Guy was realizing that he unintentionally pressured Tiny into thinking that if he didn’t build this fort he wouldn’t be considered part of the family. this is the exact thing Guy wanted to prevent Tiny from feeling.

so now continuing the scene, tiny is crying at this point:

(direct quotes)

Tiny: “it’s like you said, ‘every Diamond built structures that would stand until the end of time.’ so, if i don’t do that… how can i be one of them?”

Guy: “…Tiny Diamond. young man, you listen to me, and you listen good, because i have something that you need to hear. first of all, the things the Diamonds of the past did took them their entire lifetimes. if they caught one glimpse of what you’ve accomplished as a child..? it would blow the hair right off their heads!”

Tiny: [smiles and sniffs]

Guy: “and second of all, and way way more importantly, none of that matters! i don’t care if you build a thousand skyscrapers, or if you never touch another blanket again, you are always a Diamond. because you.. are my son.”

this scene is so important not just for Tiny but for Guy too. Tiny is learning once again that his dad will truly love him no matter what. and unlike last time with the glitter fart, (which Tiny was able to achieve in the end), in this episode, Tiny’s plan doesn’t work, but now he’s okay with it. because his dad made him feel less pressured and more loved. Guy Diamond truly said some powerful things to his son. this will most likely be a memory that Tiny will remember forever and that’s such a good thing.

coming back to the theory though, Guy had accidentally made his son feel how his family probably made him feel in the past. maybe not about specifically the blanket tower stuff but possibly something similar or just anything in general. pressure to live up to family values can be traumatic if your family makes you feel outcasted for not living up to it the way they want. and considering i think Guy either got disowned or ran away himself, (solely based on the story he told those children in TBGO), it obviously didn’t end very well.

the fact he made Tiny feel that pressure was probably heart breaking to Guy. and he made sure to immediately make sure Tiny knew he had no reason to feel like that. he became so serious so fast to make SURE tiny didn’t feel out of place in their family.

and that just shows Guy’s development not just from the trauma im theorizing but just in general in the show. Guy was never really the most serious character in this show. i mean, he’s a naked sparkly troll who’s main character trait half the time is farting glitter or being super dramatic in comedic ways. but seeing how serious Guy gets when it’s about his son just goes to show how seriously he cares about him. and that’s how you break generational trauma yall, Guy Diamond mastered it.

so um yeah this is pretty much all i have to say about this theory. i just wanted to show how i thought that Guy didn’t have a good childhood but made sure his son had a great one. really sweet stuff for this mostly unserious show. i know this is probably super dumb but i don’t care i just love dumb things. and if you actually read all of this thanks and here’s a cookie 🍪

#guy diamond #tiny diamond #trolls fandom #trolls world tour #trolls band together #trollstopia #trolls the beat goes on #trolls theory #trolls poppy #queen poppy #trolls synth #i am so serious #make fun of me if you have to #i love guy diamond #he’s the best dad #peppy needs to take notes

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dekusleftsock · 6 months

Text

Hey, weird comparison might be a stretch

Okay angy-grrr (yes I’m name dropping you and I’m not sorry <3333) I think made a comment a while ago about how this whole thing between Afo and Yoichi felt incestual, and I’d be inclined to agree.

However, however however however, I do have a few bits of commentary on that sentiment. Specifically in relationships to this scene specifically.

And, alright, no this is not some bs like “pro incest” or whatever, you can talk about topics that are taboo and not necessarily agree with them. I understand that I’m a shipper but I’m inclined to follow my nose where it leads, and my nose says here. So.

We’ve established a lot that the kanji horikoshi used when Izuku says “Give him back!” Is very possessive. Like an ownership over an item.

Okay, because Izuku and afo share one very weird trait—possessiveness. And for literally a month I’ve written and rewritten a post about how I just can’t get behind the idea of Katsuki paralleling afo, because it just doesn’t fucking make sense.

What is it telling us? That Katsuki has become a better person? We already KNEW THAT. The Kudou parallel says something, it says that Katsuki rises ABOVE the fate of the OFA predecessor because he and Izuku accepted their hearts.

Not only that but what is it exactly that we’re paralleling? Afo is defined by ownership (an Izuku trait), an unreliable narrator (also an Izuku trait)—in my opinion, horikoshi isn’t that simply Willy Nilly about parallels. It’s not about shipping to me rn, I’m literally comparing him to Izuku and how Izuku obsesses over Katsuki, IT JUST DOESNT MAKE SENSE.

Besides, wouldn’t this parallel be made significantly earlier, when Katsuki was still acting like an asshole? The kudou parallel was made literally from the start of his introduction, just because he looked so much like him. We didn’t know why this was the case, theories were thrown, and we’re only being told NOW why this parallel exists. But it was built, very carefully, and served a purpose.

And, to add onto this parallel of at the very least afo and Izuku, the portal is very similar to the floating hand.

Especially with the reminder that Katsuki was taken away by dabis hand on his neck (hands always have symbolism in this series after all, it always has a purpose)

If someone, anyone really, could show me some genuine evidence of afo and Katsuki parallels that isn’t just “Katsuki was selfish about Izuku when they were younger” then by all means

But to me, along with the fact that Katsuki called himself IZUKUS NICKNAME, right before a chapter where afo talks about NAMING YOICHI, ummmmmmmm… I gotta say. Things ain’t looking so great in that evidence department. I guess you could argue that Katsuki did the same thing with deku, but deku hasn’t even been said these past few chapters and Kacchan has so????? Idk.

Anyway, this weird overly attached, incestual, codependent relationship is really fascinating to me. I’m not so inclined to say that Izuku and afo are the same since they very obviously aren’t, izuku is just toxic in his silly goofy ways, but I think it’s an interesting thing to point out.

It almost feels like a “fuck you” to people who have been saying Katsuki and Izuku act like brothers for years. Maybe like Horikoshi is saying, “well I guess if they’re brothers they’re incestual too :)”

And that’s gotta be the biggest power move I’ve ever seen. “Oh you wanna read this relationship in that light? How about I show you what that light would look like if it were true :)” AND LIKE. WOW.

I know anime is not new to incest, but I don’t think this is the “random incest for funsies” type of incest, I think this is the incest built off of actually talking about the taboo. The weird. The not so great things we’ve done as humanity, but that exist anyway. Because mha WANTS to talk about the taboo, things we find morally wrong and therefore don’t belong in our stories, but that just makes them all the more incomprehensible were it to be happen in the real world. Art is made to talk about the stories we wish remained unfinished.

#bkdk #midoriya izuku #mha deku #bkdk brainrot #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #bnha deku #mha analysis #deku midoriya

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carawenfiction · 1 year

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Will we have an update soon?

Tumblr won't let me make normal posts for some reason, so the update will have to be in form of an answer to this ask smh. Anyway:

Hey everyone!

This post is long overdue, I know. I’m really sorry to those who have been worried about my wellbeing, as well as those who have been waiting around for an update for so long.

I’ve put off writing here because this “update” is something I’ve been wrestling with for a long time. But I can’t keep going back and forth on it forever, which is why I’m now letting you all know that the Shadow Society is officially discontinued.

I know that this might not come as much of a surprise to anyone at this point. I’ve tried to salvage the story by remaking it into something I’m happy with through a rewrite. But I’ve rewritten the rewrite itself more than once, and no matter what I do, I’m just not happy with the result. Rewriting something that’s already published with all the coding it involves is a lot more tricky than I initially thought it would be.

This is not a case of me being needlessly harsh on myself, however; it’s simply a truth I’ve come to realize after struggling to find a way to keep going with the story. I’ll never be fully content with it, or even content enough, unless I’d be able to completely remake and rewrite everything from scratch – and consequentially, I will never find enough motivation to continue because of how unhappy I am with it.

I’ve seen some speculation about my reason for rewriting the story and my long absence, and that they’ve had to do with comparisons to other IFs (well, you know which one). This isn’t entirely the case. While the comparisons did happen and probably still do, and while they were discouraging in the beginning, I can definitely understand where people have been coming from when making them. I talked about this more in-depth in the forums right after the release of TSS.

The main reason for why I can’t continue is that it’s not a series I feel passionate enough about to work on. My tastes have changed, and so has my writing to some degree. I’ve tried to convince myself that I am passionate about it. It’s hard to admit that you’re not when it’s been in your head for so long, when you’ve tried for so long to make this work and when you know that one part is published and that some people are anticipating a continuation. But it had to be done sooner or later.

Other reasons:

-While I don’t think that my writing style has changed drastically, I feel like it is somewhat different from how I wrote back in 2018 (which is a GOOD thing). Whenever I tried working on the rewrite or second book and attempted to emulate the writing of TSS, it just didn’t sound right anymore, and that took a lot of fun out of it.

-With everything that has happened with CoG over the past few years, they are no longer a company I want to write for.

Please know that none of this has discouraged me from writing in general. I still love doing it. If anything, this has taught me a lot about what I actually want to write and the writing process in general. Whether I end up publishing anything else in the future or will simply do so for my own enjoyment we’ll just have to see, though.

I still have the idea of a shadow-like world in my head, and maybe it’s one I will revisit at some point. Maybe there will be another version of TSS someday, albeit very different from the original one.

But for now, I can only thank you all for the overwhelming love and support over the years, and apologize for any disappointment this has caused. If people are interested, I’d be happy to share parts of the rewrite and unused ideas. The Tumblr page will still stay up at least for some time, but I will probably not be answering any asks from here on out.

EDIT: Forgot to add, but if anyone wants a genuinely amazing IF read you should check out my friend's wip here: https://uroboros-if.tumblr.com/ ❤️ Play the demo here: https://mistyriousness.itch.io/uroboros

#the shadow society #tss #carawenfiction #interactive fiction

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raytorosaurus · 2 years

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want to preface this by saying that this has nothing to do with frank himself and it is not about “frank girls vs ray girls.” i’ve just been seeing some posts the last few days - just from a small group of people, i’m not making statements about “frank girls” in general at all - and i want to say that if frank is your favourite and your reaction to ray getting similar levels of fan attention to him for the first time literally ever is to get defensive and act like this is a slight against frank, maybe think about that. especially given the recent much-overdue conversation about fandom racism in relation to ray, and especially if you didn’t engage with that conversation.

like. since the breakup and up until this reunion tour has started, frank has pretty consistently been the most popular member of my chemical romance. this is of course understandable because he’s a deeply lovable guy and can largely be attributed to the fact that he’s the one most in the public eye, but ray was out there doing regular interviews in 2016, making blog posts, even appearing on a couple of podcasts, and he was never afforded the same amount of attention from both fans and major music publications as frank has been. i know there’s a lot of factors that go into this and a lot are understandable but if you were paying attention to the recent conversations about subtle self-perpetuating racial biases in emo/rock culture, you have to acknowledge that some of those factors are inextricably tied to those racial biases. i have genuinely no idea where the idea that ray somehow gets more credit than frank/more credit than he deserves comes from - as if he’s not been consistently underappreciated by mainstream music culture because of the homophobia and ableism linked to being associated with my chemical romance in general, and also by mcr’s own fanbase because of the reasons we discussed the other day - largely, because he’s not one of their twinky white faves. frank in the past few weeks receiving less attention for his guitar/backing vocals/stage presence than ray is not in any way comparable to the way ray has been overlooked for decades or wildly mischaracterised as a) a controlling technical musician who was disenganged from the emotional and thematic messages of mcr (at best) or b) weirdly hostile towards frank or vaguely homophobic/transphobic (at worst). again, these perceptions of him are so far removed from reality and from everything ray stands for and are largely rooted in him being seen as the straight masc one for years due to his race (discussed by many people recently but for example here). also i feel like i shouldn’t even have to mention this but ray is more complimentary and respectful of frank’s talents as a musician than literally anyone else, and anyone who’s paid attention to a word out of ray’s mouth knows that.

again, this is not meant to be a criticism of frank in the slightest and obviously it’s 1000% understandable and cool if he’s your favourite. and it’s of course okay to want to discuss your own fave more than you discuss the others! but please think about how you look if you’re complaining about him not getting enough attention these past two shows specifically or acting like discussing ray = belittling frank. and please don’t take this post as a reason to get defensive. it’s just okay if someone else gets attention too and that doesn’t mean frank isn’t loved and appreciated in his own right. we don’t have to behave like toddlers.

#frank would be embarrased abt this behaviour ngl sjdkljsgs #also 'making fun of frank in an affectionate mannter' =/= minimising his talent and most of that actually comes from frank stans anyway #idk what to tag this #fandom

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sukunasbabygirl · 9 months

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I occasionally see takes about how Yuji isn’t interesting as a protagonist because of his lack of power compared to others, and honestly, in my opinion, that’s just… a really shallow reading of his character?

I’m gonna do my best keep this very vague and manga spoiler free for my best friend who hasn’t read the manga but likes Yuji!

Before I go on though, if you do disagree and don’t like or find Yuji interesting as a protagonist or character, please just scroll by. I’m only throwing my own personal thoughts out there. Thank you!

Yuji’s entire character is centred around the concept of death, which in itself is a change from typical shonen, at least the ones I’ve gotten into prior. His goal isn’t exactly to become the strongest and save everyone, as much as it is to become stronger than he is and save people from cruel deaths. He accepts death as a natural process of life, but what he hates are unjust and agonising deaths, or people who die before they even get the chance to live.

He’s a character who actively goes against his moral compass in times where he’s challenged. The main example of this is how he feels towards Mahito, where he could use the word exorcise, he uses the word kill, going against what he originally told Junpei.

“The next words that spilled from my lips came so deep within my guy that it nearly made all the things I’ve ever said feel like a lie. I will kill you!” Still gives me genuine chills from a character who feared the idea of killing becoming a option in his life.

He blames himself for everything that happens, and the worst part is, you can’t deny that. By eating Sukuna’s finger, he subsequently kickstarted everything. His guilt comes from something entirely true. So, even when he’s guilty for something he technically didn’t do, you can’t pull him out of that mindset, because to him, it’s just another byproduct of his biggest mistake.

Yuji’s development also tends to happen gradually and subtly, little shifts in his behaviours and mindsets that you may not pick up on if you aren’t paying enough attention to him. Then, he gets bigger moment for himself. Or he’s just traumatised some more. Usually both! Save him please!

And, you know, even when he’s sidelined per say, it’s clear, at least to me, Gege is cooking something up with him, and we see this happen a few times to my memory. JJK is a story that is told through multiple perspectives, even when it isn’t Yuji, that doesn’t suddenly make him less important. In the end, he’s still heavily linked with the current plot in ways that I imagine will have to be addressed if the story is to conclude properly.

What also makes Yuji interesting to me is the dehumanisation of his character and the question of humanity surrounding him. Humanity of course is a prevalent theme in JJK, and Yuji I think is a perfect example of it. Interestingly enough, he was seen as inhuman long before he joined Jujutsu High School, thanks to his impossible physical strength and speed, and then, when he joins Jujutsu High School, the dehumanisation continues. He doesn’t fit into either world. He’s somewhere between cursed object and human being and even he begins to lean more towards cursed object. The lines blur to him. This impacts his view on himself and what his life is even worth.

Another theme in JJK that Yuji reflects is that concept of saving people. We see it in characters like Gojo too. In Yuji’s case, by saving someone, he doomed everyone, and arguably he hasn’t been able to save anyone properly since. His grandad’s last words haunt him, and he’s interpreted them in a way that probably wasn’t intended. He tries to save others at the expense of himself, a vessel in two ways: for Sukuna (literal), and for others (metaphorical).

He’s just another cog in the machine, and while maybe a powerful, always-in-focus protagonist is more interesting to some, to me, I think Yuji is fine as he is, gaining power steadily and often being more subtle in his growth.

I could say so much more, and I will do in a more manga spoilery analysis. Eventually. Maybe. If I form words again.

Anyways. Look at him. Appreciate him. The biggest freak (affectionate) around. He probably has ADHD.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk analysis #yuji itadori #itadori yuji #character analysis #JJK Meta

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dumbsoftboi · 1 year

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#we’re stress testing babes #they should take away my ability to make polls #sorry did I say polls #I meant post #just delete my account while you’re at it #anyway #I love y’all and I hope you have a wonderful night <3 #god help you if you see this post it’s the worst thing I’ve ever done #hmm… I wonder if there’s a limit on the amount of tags a post can have?#a smart man would just look that up #but I am not a smart man #…however that is a test for another day #skate fast and eat ass folks

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dizzyduck44 · 11 months

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How 24 hours can change a lot in F1

Right let’s get into this mess, though talk about an ever developing story.

Red Bull managed to send warning shots off to a quarter of the grid in the space of about 6 hours, yet to understand the full effect you can’t even go chronologically.

Nyck

Following Daniel Ricciardo’s tyre test at Silverstone on Tuesday it is now reported that having seen the timings (we’ll come back to that) Christian rang Helmut Marko halfway through who in turn immediately fired Nyck De Vries (via his manager) and gave his spot to Daniel.

Nyck has had a nightmare time this season. The car is awful, the support has been non-existent and 10 races is nothing. We can’t say it’s unexpected, the Red Bull family have shown multiple people the door mid season, lest us not forget Max Verstappen was a mid season replacement at Red Bull. It became that common that it manifested itself in Lando’s head in his first year at McLaren that if he didn’t perform he could be gone mid season.

Nyck’s lack of results, pace and collection of penalties (Kevin isn’t going to miss you) has been confounded by the fact his two fellow rookies are swimming. Logan has shown genuine improvement and James Vowles was very vocal this weekend about how Logan is doing exactly what is expected of him. Meanwhile over at McLaren, well even if you take out this last weekend’s impressive results, Oscar had points, made Q3 a few times and had a CEO, a team principal and teammate who wouldn’t shut up about how well he was doing. The contrast couldn’t be bigger.

Nyck hasn’t really been given a fair shot in any aspect. Time on the grid, getting to know the team, support from his team. Then again remember we were told he turned up and told the engineers everything wrong with the car? Maybe his card has been marked for a while.

What I will say is that Nyck may be the first driver Red Bull has offed and told everyone that they didn’t really want him in the first place! I mean I’m sure Alex Albon might have felt it in 2019 when they had aggressively gone after Lando, to then hire Alex at the last minute. However I’m sure his promotion to the big team to replace Pierre killed off his fears. Nyck didn’t get that redemption arc.

Nyck has now said that his understanding was that he would be in the Red Bull alongside Max next year. Which leads us onto

Daniel

I have been critical of Daniel for the last 18 months, with good reason as a McLaren fan. The passion in the car was gone, he had worked himself up to a point where even if he could get the best out of the McLaren, he had told himself he couldn’t. He was a man very much in need of a break.

I’d say it took maybe 4 races before he wanted back. The hunger was back, he realised these were his people. He had positioned himself In such a way that there was a clear road back for him, but at the same time if being away from it was right then he could move away slowly.

I’ve no issue with him having a second shot. I think anyone who had seen him through his career felt that McLaren would have been a sad way for him to sign off. That being said, he has just tested the best car on the grid. However he will be racing for Alpha Tauri. Again see comment above about the issues Nyck had with that car.

This car will be significantly worse than the McLaren he has struggled with for the last two years. And he is betting his future career in F1 on this!😬😬😬 (Why Daniel? Why?)

He simply has to beat his teammate. He has to. I know the excuses Daniel fans come up with, I’ve heard them on repeat for the last two years, his teammate is more familiar with the car. The team screwed him over. It was the tyres. Literally none of that will wash with Marko.

This might be the most high risk move of Daniel’s career because it’s either excel or there is the door. Which leads us to

Yuki

As those who have followed me for a while may have noticed, I have a soft spot for Yuki. Heaps of talent with an express rise through the ranks (seriously he makes Lando and Oscar look like they took their time), the downside being he hadn’t fully matured and didn’t have a complete grasp of English when he hit F1, but was suddenly expected to cope.

There has been improvement, no one can deny this, but now he is being measured against Daniel. No offence Pierre, the bar just got raised.

This is do or die for Yuki. He wants to be alongside Max. I’ve no doubt he would do great things in that Red Bull, but now he has to stand out against Danny Ric. So not only has the bar been raised but the goal has been moved as well.

Yuki was a seat push from Honda. He must feel the pressure on his shoulders now, especially as every year he expects to be shown the door. He must see that Daniel has been placed alongside him for one reason and one reason only, the same reason he has been fighting his guts out. The second Red Bull seat.

Sergio

This was meant to be it for Sergio. After years of being no one’s first choice, ousted from McLaren, forced to put Force India into administration to save them, for Racing Point/Aston Martin to show him the door. Sergio has had a tough career. Once considered the greatest balance to Max they had found, it’s clear that the two of them are not the best of buddies and his results are less than inspiring, despite his comeback in races being epic (even if I did chuckle that a few races ago when he couldn’t get past Lando I could imagine Daniel cheering the Brit on).

So how do you get the old Checo back who will bring you the results? Announce Lando is the perfect fit for Red Bull and then put Daniel in the sister car just down the pitlane from him all within the same morning. Yeah, that’ll work a treat, have an early lunch!

Everyone knows that Daniel is in that seat as a warning to Checo. Get your finger out otherwise your replacement is literally a few feet away. I’m not sure if they are looking for compliance or results anymore but the whole pitlane heard this warning. We will swap you out in a heartbeat, because

Lando

As a Lando girl I’m gonna say something controversial here. I have no doubt in my mind that after his “Max spoils everything” dig on Saturday, Max did not give much of a fight off the line on Sunday to let Lando lead his home Grand Prix, safe in the knowledge he would pass him, which he did and then Lando came back into his DRS range and everyone at Red Bull had kittens! The Ferrari they expect a fight, they know Mercedes will hunt them as best as they can, they have the legs on the Astons. Who but 50p in the McLarens?

Lando has been the bone of contention for Red Bull for about 6 years. Dismissed by Marko as a youngster as not as good as Max, yet at least once a year Christian starts the “but I want that one” charm offensive on Lando. I’m not saying that Marko’s current assessment is wrong but to me there is only one reason to bring Lando to Red Bull, to light a fire under Max. Because let’s not assume they aren’t trying to pressure Max.

Tyre testing

Now a bit of confused reporting here causes anxiety for Sergio, Lando and Max. It was first reported that Daniel’s testing time were quick enough to put him on the front row at Silverstone. In other words, he really is that good Sergio and Max and well you’re not that impressive after all Lando. However Chris Medland is now reporting Daniel was .7 off Max’s pole time, which would have put him behind both McLarens, both Ferraris and both Mercedes. Read from that what you want, who’s agenda that serves.

Liam Lawson, Alex Albon, Zane Maloney

Three drivers that you would think had designs on that second Red Bull seat or Alpha Tauri seat.

My understanding is that it was felt Lawson wasn’t quite ready for the AT seat at the start of the year and was packed off to Japan to see how he got on in Super Formula. He already has the super licence so this would be about experience. Currently second in the championship he doesn’t want to give up a chance of winning. However if he does win and there is still no F1 seat as they swapped Daniel and Sergio, kept Yuki and are trying to chat up Lando (again), he will begin to feel it doesn’t matter what he does.

Alex has kept his ties with Red Bull, probably due to the drinks company being 50%Thai owned, but with the stellar job he’s doing at Williams, he must have thought that there was a chance Red Bull might want him back at some point.

Finally poor Zane Maloney. Imagine being in F2, named as a Red Bull reserve driver and realising that there will need to be a blood bath if you have any hope of getting into an F1 seat at this rate. Interestingly Zane shares a management team with Lando and they were seen with Helmut this weekend.

So in conclusion, 6 F1 drivers and both of your reserves in the space of 24 hours. Take a bow, that headfuck is impressive by anyone’s standards.

I’m amazed he didn’t take a swipe at Lewis and try and kick Roscoe on the way out.

As you might have guessed by now, this is not a Helmut Marko fan account!

#long long longread #seriouslysarcasticlongread #red bull racing #alpha tauri #f1 #formula one #formula 1 #f1blr #nyck de vries #daniel ricciardo #sergio perez #max verstappen #lando norris #alex albon #liam lawson #zane maloney #helmut marko #yuki tsunoda

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dragondream-ing · 4 months

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It’s kinda funny to me that even team black fans get vicious with other team black fans if they disagree with their interpretation of a character or event or rumor. Now, there are some wild or dubious claims about canon, and I get shutting those down or insisting they be treated with skepticism. But there are also genuine disagreements that, imo, don’t deserve the vitriol.

I am not talking about things we *know*, like dates and events and crucial elements of the characters’ relationships and personalities. I’m talking about the things we *cannot* know because the sources and Gyldayn simply can’t and don’t have access to every inner thought or belief of the characters. Those same sources can’t and don’t have knowledge of everything the characters did and why they did it. Those sources have their own viewpoints and bias, and so they might have witnessed or heard things that they didn’t write down because they deemed those things unimportant or counter to their bias. They might have elevated information that had little factual basis because they trusted the source it came from or it confirmed their bias (*cough* Sara Snow’s entire existence). That’s the beauty of F&B. It isn’t a novel, it isn’t a dry accounting of events, it is a history book written after the events by a maester raised in a post-Dance, post-dragons world with his own belief system, and the sources he used are limited and imperfect.

Because of the nature of the book, I would never claim my interpretation of a character is the definitive truth, only that it seems most plausible to me. I know who Rhaenyra isn’t, but I don’t know all that she is. I know who Daemon isn’t, but I don’t know all that he is. I can’t, and neither can anyone else, because the sources themselves didn’t and couldn’t. F&B is written in a way to obscure and distort at least some of the truth. GRRM isn’t an idiot, he studied journalism and history in college, he knew exactly what he was doing and he well understood the pitfalls and complications of primary sources and secondary literature. It’s not his fault that many of his fans don’t lmao (and yes, I blame HBO for the increase in stupidity, but I digress).

There are many things we know for sure (which makes the shitshow’s manipulation or removal of all the *literal facts* extra infuriating; now we have people claiming those facts are unreliable even when they are among the few things that are reliable). But I’m sorry to say, there is MUCH that is unknown.

The characters do not have their own POVs. That creates fertile ground for different interpretations of them and their motivations, even if some aspects of both are clearly defined. And entertaining those interpretations isn’t bad faith. I know we all like to think we have the One True Interpretation of our fave characters, but in F&B, even the most fleshed-out characters don’t speak in their own words with their own voice. We are reading them in the voices of other people, and those people have their own perspectives, biases, and agendas. That’s why I love the book so much, it reminds me of my days writing my history dissertation and trying to identify the societal influence and personal bias of the people I studied (sorry, I’m a bit of a nerd lol)

I know we are used to fighting team green and years of wild GOT shenanigans, but come on. I’ve seen people absolutely lose their shit because other fans disagree over the degree to which Daemon wanted a Valyrian wife. Another one I love is the fury over Valyrian customs. Some people believe the Targaryens might have continued practicing some Valyrian customs, while others believe they were true followers of the Seven (other than incest). Literally who cares?? The book doesn’t include much on this topic, but why is it so offensive that some readers think the Targaryens truly converted or that they held to their beliefs more than the maesters and septons claimed? We don’t actually KNOW because the sources wouldn’t have been privy to everything, especially things the royal family did privately, and extra especially when the conversion was for political reasons (as confirmed by GRRM) and the Targaryens would’ve had ever reason to hide customs deemed heretical by the majority religion. This, to me, is a completely inoffensive difference in interpretation, and I cannot fathom why some people view it as akin to team green stans claiming book Alicent was a child bride.

There are degrees of difference in which readers believe the sources of F&B, which I think contributes to diverging interpretations, and we should acknowledge that this is a personal choice. If you give more credence to certain sources, you’re going to come away with a different view of a character than if you don’t, and that’s okay! That’s how interpreting primary sources works, and that’s part of why historians can write books using the same bank of sources and come to different conclusions. Another reason is someone coming along that looks at those sources from a different perspective, or pays attention to sources other historians had ignored. For example, most historians pre-1970 didn’t think to check the records of the wives of politicians, so when others went back through the archives, there were tons of revelations missed by earlier scholars. This just goes to show secondary sources, aka Gyldayn, also have their limitations, viewpoints and/or bias.

A lot of people don’t even stop to question the sources. Some people put a lot more stock in Mushroom’s account than I ever would (the shitshow didn’t cast him, but it sure used his dubious claims). Some people think Eustace was pretty much a straight shooter bar a few exceptions, which I completely disagree with. Gyldayn is also a problem for me, he’s a bit of a weirdo and perv. Tbh I don’t trust any of them. Could be because I was trained to interrogate sources, not trust them, but I’d rather do that than blindly believe someone like Orwyle. It’s up to every reader to decide what seems most plausible.

And no, that doesn’t mean everything is fair game. Some things are blatantly untrue, like the bizarre metas I’ve seen claiming the character ages in the shitshow are the actual true ages lmao

Trust in a source isn’t necessary to glean facts, and from these accounts we *can* learn about the Dance, so it’s all about assessing what’s a fact, what’s propaganda, what’s exaggerated but true, what’s true but unspoken, what’s a bald-faced lie or a lie of omission, etc. And with a book like F&B with biased sources and rumors and contradictions, there will be genuine differences in interpretation that are in good faith. It isn’t fair to act like these differences are headcanons pulled out of thin air.

If you want to argue what you believe is more likely, that’s fine, but what’s the point of shitting on other fans that read the book and made their own informed opinion? Some pieces of evidence and supposition are more compelling to me but may not be as compelling to someone else. These differences are fair and good faith and shouldn’t be reduced to “you didn’t read right” or “you didn’t read at all.” And if someone claims that of other book fans, they should have the humility to admit their interpretation might not be entirely right either. Only GRRM can know the full truth, and tbh, I’m not even sure he does because that man can be contradictory af 😂

And yes, I used this as an excuse to nerd out over analyzing primary sources. Even historians that leave the ivory tower retain their obnoxious urge to pour over and question primary sources, and that extends to fictional ones.

#reading primary sources: F&B edition #obligatory anti team green #stop yelling at people for no reason #you’re probably not as right as you think #obligatory HOTD was a mistake #tbh HBO getting its grubby hands on GRRM’s works was a mistake

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