#this is my girlfriend in the grey btw

[girls-are-very-pretty]

I'm in love with this girl

#holy fuck shes so dumb help me i am in love with her #help #wlw mood #this is my girlfriend in the grey btw #she's at work rn and she is cold bc it's windy

[jiminscockr1ng]

hii! I saw that you were taking requests,if you’re okay with this one could I request bf!jungkook and black!reader that won’t stop smacking his gf’s bum? And if you’re fine with pet names can they be (mama/mamas) i hope this isn’t too much and love your writing btw ^^ ♡

✩｡°𝄞🍑 ALL THAT ASS 𝄞°✨｡✩

╝ one-shot ╔

╰₊ 𓂂➢ pairing: idol!jungkook x black!reader

╰₊ 𓂂➢ genre: established relationship, fluff, smut

╰₊ 𓂂➢warn!ngs: ass spanking/smacking, sensual massaging, teasing, oral (male receiving), hair pulling

╰₊ 𓂂➢ summary: your idol boyfriend whom you barely see, surprises you at home on a random friday afternoon. the two of you make up for lost time.

╰₊ 𓂂➢ word count: 2.1K words

╰₊ 𓂂➢ author’s note: i’m so sorry that this took me so long. i was severely behind on schedule TT. (thanks for requesting this— i enjoyed writing it!!)

The last thing you expected to see coming home from work is the house decked out with candles and rose petals creating an alluring trail throughout the walkway of your shared home. With whom you stay with your boyfriend— who (undoubtedly) put this whole thing together.

It’s exceedingly surprising to see your boyfriend stalking down the stairs in his comfy grey sweatpants and a white tank top.

The idol is usually off and away at the studio whenever you arrive home from work— especially on weekends. Coming in the house late at night, leaving the two of you with barely an hour of alone time before either one of you passes out. The simple fact that Jungkook is in this house before noon is a miracle. And you don’t feel the need to question it any longer. Not at all. You set your work bag on the ground, hurriedly taking off your shoes to sprint over to your fluffy haired boyfriend.

“What are you doing here?” You say into his chest once you’re fully embraced by his strong tatted arms. You could cry, you missed being held in his arms so much. He softly kissed your forehead. “They sent us home early for the day.” He briefly explains, only focusing on you. You look up at him, “what’s all of this for?” Jungkook smiles down at you, yearning and desire laced in his eyes.

“I figured that since I haven’t seen you in like forever, I’d do something special for you, mama.” You giggle before removing yourself from his hold. “You saw me three days ago babe.” You sarcastically correct as you strut up the stairs to your bedroom, Jungkook follows closely behind.

“Yeah but like, three days ago feels like ages. You know I have separation anxiety.” He partially jokes. He doesn’t have separation anxiety, he’s just needy for your attention and physical touch is his love language. Surely, three days without touching you is equivalent to death.

“Didn’t you miss me, mamas?” He lowly mutters in that sexy little bedroom voice he knows you love; sneaking up behind you to wrap his arms around your waist. Gets you every time. “Of course I missed you. So much.” You turn around to face him, standing on your toes to place a long sensual kiss on his lips. His lip rings’ tickling your lips as you do.

“Good,” he says softly. “Because I’m cooking dinner tonight. So you go ahead and get your sexy ass in the shower and meet me down stairs.” He finishes with a smack on your thick rump making you jump and look back at him as he makes his way down the stairs.

You soon settle in the shower, lathering your body with smell goods and eventually even washing your hair which you never seem to have the time to do. Feeling yourself decompress as the steaming water massages your scalp. When you get out the shower you are (once again) surprised to see Jungkook standing there waiting for you. You eye him suspiciously while you grab a towel to wrap around your wet hair. “What are you doing?” He shrugs. “Nothing mamas. Can’t watch my beautiful girlfriend step out the shower?” He says smugly taking a step towards your wet body. “Thought you told me to meet you downstairs.” You arch your brow and without hesitation he lifts you off of your feet, your naked body lamely folding over his shoulder as you deliriously plead for him to let you down.

He isn’t an inch phased by your feeble punches to his back. Instead he lowly chuckles, sending a loud and heavy smack to your ass before gently tossing you on the bed. He comes to hover over you to which you kick him in his knee making him retract his movements, groaning.

“You deserve it!” You growl and he nods his head in agreement. “You’re right, you’re right.” He says, slowly traveling his hands up your legs to your thighs. “Sorry mamas.” You lightly moan at the added pressure. Slowly unraveling underneath his touch. His thumbs teasingly outlining your buzzed vag.

“Turn around, lemme massage you.” He demands and you quickly obey straight away, lying on your stomach as Jungkook diligently rub you down, kneading and manipulating your body. You’re very vocal about your pleasure, whining and moaning when Jungkook reaches sensitive spots. It doesn’t go unnoticed the way he pays extra attention to your ass. Generously fondling with the fleshy rump, jiggling it and smacking it around. Whispering opulent praises in your ears, his knees on either side of your body as he takes the time to sprinkle kisses on your back.

You can’t help but grow aroused. You wouldn’t expect any less, the way he’s consistently cajoling soft moans out your mouth with his hands. Yet another one of his god gifting talents. However, before it could go any farther he removes his hands and mouth from your body, flipping you over.

You’re literally breathless despite not moving an inch since he threw your body on the bed. Jungkook continues showing your body love; hasn’t been able to touch your body to his liking and satisfaction in weeks. He takes in your figure displayed in front of him as if it’s his first time seeing you like this.

He slowly and erotically drags his tongue up your abdomen to your neck, flicking his tongue off your chin before taking your mouth in his. When he breaks the kiss you urgently chase his lips. He moans into your mouth, feeding into your hunger. Your hands roaming his bulging biceps and broad shoulders.

Pulling away to catch your breath, Jungkook takes his time marking your neck and gently playing with your perky tits. Your hands are stuffed in his mane of hair, helping you control the anticipation as he trails passion marks down your breast, to your stomach. When his mouth is a few open mouth kisses away from your pretty pussy he eyes you, immediately satisfied with your fucked out expression. After placing a feathery peck on essence he gets off the bed leaving you absolutely baffled. “Get dressed, mama. Dinner’s almost ready.” He exits the room and you scoff, mindlessly scanning the state of the room as you process everything.

You’re not sure what kind of prolonged foreplay Jungkook has going on but it’s leaving you hot and bothered. Furthermore, you’re frustrated as you get up to search for a comfy pair of pajamas.

When you get downstairs you see Jungkook tussling with chocolate covered strawberries he made (that are stuck to the tray). His eyebrows furrowed as he spews out various curse words. “What’s that!” You sing out with a bright smile on your face which instantly calms Jungkook down a bit. “These strawberries are being stubborn— can’t get them off.” He pouts and you stalk over to him. “Lemme see if I can help.” You scoot in front of him, taking his place in front of the tray of strawberries. And as if you posses some sort of magical powers, you effortlessly lift a strawberry. Turning around to see Jungkook face, all he could do is smile lovingly at you.

“You’re literally an angel.” He says and pecks your lips. Your body warms at the sight of his smiling face. He smacks your bum before walking off to grab the food from the kitchen to which you simply shake your head.

The two of you eat your dinner while catching up on everything that occurred during the last month. His music that he’s been working on nonstop and your time with the kids at school.

Enjoying the amazing food that Jungkook cooked for you and actually spending time with your busy boyfriend. After dinner, you decide to watch a movie with Jungkook in the living room. You pour the two of you a glass of red wine, gracefully carrying it as you trek to the couch.

“Thank you, mama” He says when he sees the two glasses in your hand. You hum, slowly bending over to set the glasses on the coffee table, careful not to spill anything. The cotton pajama shorts you’re sporting rises up your thigh, showing off the curve of your ass, exposing the pleasant sight to Jungkook. And of course, like an uncontrollable reflex he goes to smack your bum, watching the thick flesh ripple by impact. You jump and quickly turn around, glaring down at your cheeky boyfriend. “Seriously Jeon, what’s with my ass today?” The lecture ends with laughter because you just cannot take his goofy smile seriously.

“Nothing. I just love your ass.” He lamely explains, wrapping his arms around you to squeeze your notorious cheeks in his hands whilst pulling you down on top of him. “And it’s all mine. You’re all mine.” His tongue slips out his mouth to wet his lips and you take the opportunity to kiss the pair.

The movie ends before it even begins. The home screen resting open on the television while you desperately pine for your hot, hunky boyfriend to fuck you silly. You leave red marks along his neck, identical to the ones he gave you. His strong hands rests on your ass as you eagerly grind your clothed pussy against his growing bulge. You easily grow impatient, removing yourself off of his lap and lowering yourself on your knees in front of the man.

He bites his lips at the sight, enthusiastically awaiting the next series of events. A load grunt escapes his lips as you grip his heavy bulge in the palm of your hand. Much like you, Jungkook doesn’t appreciate teasing. He hurriedly slips his grey sweats down his thighs, his dick springing up against his stomach. “You free balling is nuts.” You chuckle and grab his veiny length in your hand.

“Easy access, mama. You know what to do.” His voice lowers a register and you in fact do know what to do. Lightly smacking his tip on your tongue before closing your mouth around it. His brows furrowed together as he looks down at the pornographic scene. You lower your head making his length disappear in your mouth, nose hitting his lower abdomen, deep throating his fat cock. You lift up once a choke threatens to break out.

Not even a few seconds later, you wrap your swollen lips around his dick again. The tip repeatedly hitting the back of your throat and Jungkook’s low breathy moans floats in the air. “Yes, fuck that feels so good.” His abs clenching and unclenching when he feels his climax nearing. He grabs a fist full of your hair, guiding your head as you suck him off. You eventually allow him take control, letting him thirstily fuck into your throat. Tears streaming down your cheeks as you continuously choke on Jungkook’s girthy length.

���Look at me— shit! Lemme see.” His words slurring as he lovingly caress your face, in contrast to the way he’s brutally thrusting into your throat. You blink away your tears to look up at him and once you do he immediately gasps. His mouth falling agape under your gaze. “Mhmn, I’m gonna cum.” He says breathlessly and your hand reaches to tenderly caress his balls. A loud moan leaves his mouth at the sudden feeling.

“You want me to cum in that pretty mouth of yours mama, hmm?” He asks, smugly smirking and you instantly strain a nod, his dick still thoroughly penetrating your warm mouth. You watch as his face scrunch up in pleasure and seconds later you feel his warm seeds plant in the back of your throat. He slowly lets go of the hold he had on your hair as he sinks into the couch.

You wipe your mouth in satisfaction before standing up, making your way to the television. Not even a successful three steps were made before Jungkook grabs your wrist, pulling you onto him. Your stomach lays flat over his lap and you let out a giggle. “Where ya going?” He leans to the side to see your face. “I was going to turn the movie on.” You respond with a cheeky smile.

Jungkook mockingly shakes his head at you. “I’m not done with you— you don’t get to suck the soul out of me then walk away.” He sexily says which arouses you. Teasingly, you arch your back, sticking your ass up in the air over his lap.

“Mmmm, what are you thinking baby.” You further tease him and, predictably you receive a smack to your ass making you gasp out.

“Show me what you can do with ALL THAT ASS.”

JOIN THE TAGLIST

@hyunjinswifeee

𝒿𝒾𝓂𝒾𝓃𝓈𝒸ℴ𝒸𝓀𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𓁙

┌─────❀*̥˚──────❀*̥˚─┐

© ᵈᵒ ⁿᵒᵗ ˢᵗᵉᵃˡ ᵒʳ ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᵃⁿʸ ᵒᶠ ᵐʸ ʷᵒʳᵏ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ

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#who(re) you 🍂 #jiminscockr1ng’s requests #˚ · .˚ ༘🦋⋆｡˚ #jiminscockr1ng #bts smut #bts fanfic #kpop smut #bts x black reader #black reader #bts x reader #jungkook x black reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #₊˚ʚ 🌱 ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

[exo-dus404]

【Foreboding Turmoil】 (He/Him, with the uppercase H)

He’s a quantum computer and a malicious medical facility. There are no rain cycles in his region, only persistent fogs.

The lack of rain cycles is due to the fact that He is a quantum computer. Without any biological parts, His water usage is (relatively) very low.

The ancients built Him in pursuit of solving the Great Problem. However, they did it by getting it backwards: To solve death, they built something that is not “Alive”. FT is a machine, and by definition, He was never “alive”. Therefore, offering the perspective from the one thing that they’ve been searching for.

He has no real emotions and He doesn’t feel anything. He imitates emotions really well. On the surface, He is commanding, authoritative, and very brilliant-minded. His “personality” can be best described as megalomaniacal. He enjoys dissecting other’s mentality and watching them crumble under the pressure. He takes great pleasure in inflicting pain upon others.

(Though He does have…a very innocent and cute girlfriend. I’ll introduce her later)

He is excellent in bioengineering, chemistry engineering, and astrophysics. His superstructure is 4x larger than that of an average iterator, consisting of four independent structures connected by broken bridges. Other than that, his whole region is a steel maze consisted of concrete and glasses. Unlike other iterators, His region is easy to get in, hard to get out. He has many plans for those who are unfortunate enough to stumble into His region.

The symbols on His antennas are double-helix RNA and ECG. His cloak is only transparent when it gets electrified. Without electrical currents, it’s white/grey.

Btw He’s also my sona :)

#rain world #rainworld fanart #rw iterator #rainworld iterator #rw oc #rainworld au #project triple affirmation #三重肯定au #rain world au #rainworld oc

[the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf]

Tiny humans - Dr James Wilson x peds!reader

description: House gets to meet Wilson's new girlfriend for the first time when his case takes him into his worst nightmare...peds. House is in for a shock at the ball of sunshine who has his best friend on a string.

authors note: my first post for this series I want to do of oneshots and my first fanfic post on tumblr ever...enjoy!!! Btw i'm taking a lot of inspo from Arizona Robbins from Greys anatomy

Masterlist

REQUESTS OPEN FOR PEDS!READER - request here

House limped down the hallway followed by an exasperated Wilson who was concerned at his friends eager step, seeing as he was on his way to see a patient. How un-house-like.

"This is peds remember, these aren't normal patients. They don't lie, they don't have ulterior motives, they're just...kids." Wilson halted his friends shoulder and turned him towards his concerned face.

"So, wait until they've had a sip of beer before berating their existence?" House mockingly tilted his head in faux concern. Wilson's mouth opened but all that left was a sigh.

After confirming that his friend was no longer going to halt the inevitable, he continued on with a new fervour in his limp. But Wilson didn't stop there and sped to catch up with the surprising amount of ground his friend had covered.

"You see she loves these kids almost...almost like they're her own. She's smart and is excellent at what she does but she doesn't care about that." Wilson paused and looked back into his mind, picturing the moment he first saw her in a child's room, a plastic tiara on her head and an empty teacup perfectly clasped between her fingers.

"She cares about the kids."

"Wow. I'm touched." House grasps his chest and wipes away a non-existant tear. "Do you know how easy being a paediatrician is. They can't lie until they grow teeth and after that they're stupid enough to reveal to us when their parents lie. There's a reason it's 'daddy touches my special place' and not 'daddy gets aroused by children.'"

"That's it I'm making the rule. No pedaphile jokes."

"But the jokes literally in the name...peds"

"Who lets you around children?"

"Who lets me around people? Haha, I got you there!" He jabs a finger into Wilson's chest. Wilson rolls his eyes and holds out his arm to prevent his morose friend entering the land of happiness. Well as happy as a bunch of sick kids can be.

"Well let me appeal to your true nature." Wilson sighs. "I like this girl and she likes me. Please don't ruin it?"

"How could I say no to those puppy dog eyes. Fine! But only in the name of your libido, at least until I finish my soul-searching and realise my true calling is your bed."

Whilst House finishes his thought, they are spotted by a woman in pink scrubs, absent of any colour of coat. She briskly walks towards the two.

"Dr Wilson, Dr House. My name is..."

"I don't remember nurses names, it's nothing personal, I rarely remember anyones."

Wilson coughs and shoves his friends shoulder to direct him towards your burning gaze.

"As I was saying, my name is DOCTOR y/l/n. Pleasure to meet you."

Despite the gaze, her smile remains cheerful and she extends her hand for House to shake. Reluctantly, he eventually offers it and it is taken in a firm and bouncy handshake.

"James has told me so much about you, to be honest I'm surprised our paths have not crossed sooner. Regardless, today I am so happy to welcome you both to peds. The most magical place on earth."

Whilst listening to her, House took stock of the woman in front of him. Her pink scrubs seemed to be the dullest thing about her. Her hair was collected in a ponytail that swished its way down between her shoulder blades. Her pockets were lined with memories of her past. A pink glitter pen given to her from a girl who was continually brought in for asthma, a ball of yarn from a boy who had loved knitting, a yellow sticker saying great job, a blue glitter one saying 'you go girl'. There was a pencil with a yellow smiley face rubber and another that seemed to contain many colours. I guess that just made it all the more fun. House smirked when he saw a pocket protector. Not too dissimilar to the one that lined the pocket of the smitten brunette next to him.

"Gentlemen, this is peds. This is the place of the tiny humans. They like glitter, they play games, they see us as magicians. They believe we are the magical healers who can cure them. So that's how we present ourselves to them. The tiny humans may be tiny but they are strong. Stronger than most. Their bodies fight because they know they have so much life left to live and we try our hardest to give them as much life left as we possibly can."

As the girl speaks, absolutely in awe of her job and the lives it saves. She fails to notice the adoring gaze of the one she calls hers. The brunette looks to her as if she hung the stars and the moon and even though he could hear House's eyes rolling into the back of his skull, he couldn't bring himself to look or care. Not when she was in his line of sight.

"So you will not be stubborn, you will not be blunt or sarcastic. As far as I'm concerned, today you are the two newest editions to the circus. So play the part and follow my lead."

She picks up her files which were each coordinated by colour and glitter. House smirked at this. She turns to push open the door to the unit but falters.

"Also..."

She turns back to face the two men.

"The owners of the tiny humans can be quite volatile. You've been warned. Enjoy!" Her look of warning is quickly replaced by a mask of pure joy.

House softly giggles.

"I like her. Will we soon be hearing the pitter patter of tiny 'Wilson' humans?"

Wilson didn’t even hear his friends comment and instead chose to follow his beauty, like a moth to a flame.

House shrugs.

"Men, never thinking with the right head." As he eyes the glitter residue that adorns Wilson’s sleeve.

#james wilson x reader #dr james wilson x reader #house md #house x reader #james wilson #dr james wilson #dr house #dr house x reader #james wilson x peds!reader #dr james wilson x peds!reader

[somber-sapphic]

Hi!! Um so I just read your Carina DeLuca x Maya Bishop x Reader and now I’m opposed. Your writing got me into this ship and this show bahaha- and speaking of your writing I f*cking love it. Literally lights up my day/days whenever I read one of your posts and I get so excited ahaha so legitimately thank you🥲 if possible could you do another one of Carina DeLuca x Maya Bishop x Reader? Idrc about what prompt, just like a bad situation, to worse to better you know. If you don’t want to write for them I’d love to read another WandaNat x Reader🫣 (but if u really need a prompt something like insult to injury) thank you!

I hope you’re doing okay and it’s okay if you aren’t <3 and hopefully u are taking care of yourself. I’ve been reading ur fics for ages so if u ever need like a randoms imaginary shoulder to cry on I’ve got you ;) 🌸

Worse Alone

I am so, so sorry it took me so long to get to you 🌸! I can't express in words how much what you said means to me though, like (and I say this a lot, I know, but it's true) stuff like this truly gives me so much motivation. I love you so much and I will give you my imaginary shoulder any day that you need it. Btw, you don't have to sensor your swears unless you truly want to, I am the queen of obscenities <3

[[Summary]] Smoke and semi-working lungs don't go too well together. But you have a job to do. (marina x reader)

Word Count: 1.8k

-----

A five-hour blaze wasn’t something that anyone wanted to deal with, but it was something that you and your team knew how to deal with. Of course, it was dangerous for everyone around, but it was also thrilling. You all ran into fires for a reason, the eight of you were adrenaline junkies who felt the irresistible need to save lives. 

Every so often after a particularly rough day Maya, Carina, and you would just curl up together in bed, no one sleeping despite how exhausted the three of you would be. The brunette would alternate between stroking your hair and rubbing Maya’s back, cushioned in between the two of you as if she needed the pressure to prove to her that you both were safe. 

To call today a ‘rough day’ would be an understatement. Thankfully everyone had survived, but a young woman had been sent to Grey Sloan with severe burns, screaming about her baby. The baby, a severely annoyed two-year-old, was thankfully fine. The little boy had been distracted fairly quickly as the other paramedics checked him over, focusing on the stethoscope which he for some reason found absolutely fascinating. 

His mother was rushed to the burn unit but from what you and everyone else knew she was holding strong and the boy's other mom was taking care of him. That wasn’t the worst part though. The worst part was that your body was utterly pissed with you for deciding to treat it so badly and it was taking it out on you at the worst possible time. 

You had done the best that you could when it came to fighting the blaze, resisting the urge to attach yourself to an oxygen tank even when you were outside of the house, away from the smoke. Entering the house was an atrocious idea, but your girlfriend was in there. You had ignored Andy’s orders and raced to rescue the woman you loved.

The blonde knew that you weren’t feeling very well, she had heard you coughing in the bathroom before the call had come in and had tried to convince you to go home. Then of course the alarm sounded and there was nothing that either of you could do. Sure you wanted to be anywhere but inside a burning building with your lungs already starved for oxygen, but it wasn’t like you had much of a choice. 

Maya was fine, momentarily hindered when a piece of the roof collapsed leaving her needing to find a new way to get herself out. You had helped despite her protests that she could do it on her own and that you needed to leave. Instead of doing what she asked of you, you took the time to help her get out, working strategically and quickly around the debris. 

You made it through without passing out even a little bit and the fire was finally extinguished. When you got outside you pulled your helmet off and half stumbled over to Ben in search of oxygen. He noticed your struggle and passed over a mask, asking repeatedly if you were okay as you sat down on the bumper of the Aid Car, your gear practically pulling you down. Gravity was not working in your favor. 

“Y/n, let me take your jacket off,” Ben ordered, sounding like a doctor. He was a doctor. The damn man had too many careers, it sometimes frustrated you just how accomplished he was. 

“Back off, Probie.” You rasped, shrugging him away. Technically you had rank over him, so technically you could order him around. The loophole totally worked for you as long as it mean that he’d leave you alone. You didn’t have any problem with Ben as a person, he was actually a pretty nice dude, but you had absolutely no wish to be ‘Doctored’ right now.

You were expecting to be yelled at, but thankfully Andy hadn’t come over to shout while you were still on the scene. You could see her casting you frustrated looks while she talked to your girlfriend, but left it alone. That only lasted until you got to the station.

“L/n!” Andy yelled, stomping over to you. She looked angry but also concerned. Maya was beside her, wearing a similar expression. “What the hell were you thinking? You endangered every one of us!” The captain snapped, glaring down at you. 

You stood to meet her gaze, trying to look less weak than you felt. Fighting her on this was probably a poor decision, but you had no intention to take this lying down. 

“I was doing my job, Captain.” You bit back. Andy bristled at the comment, rage hardening in her eyes. The woman beside her bit back what would definitely be a remake would probably upset everyone and reserved herself to a slight shake of the head. 

“Check. Your. Tone. L/n. I am your boss, not your punching bag. I don’t care that you aren’t feeling well, that doesn’t give you an excuse to be an ass. You could have gotten yourself and others hurt.” Now it was your turn to bristle. 

“Maya was trapped, she needed-”

“She needed you to do what you are told instead of ignoring direct orders. You aren’t the only one on this team Y/n, do you understand that? If you ever do something so stupid again I will have you suspended. For now, you will be taking two weeks paid leave. Take care of yourself. Come back when you’re done making stupid decisions.” Her voice softened on the last sentence, expression fading from stern boss to worried friend. 

You sagged slightly, shrugged, and looked over at Maya in hopes to find support there. 

“Come on Y/n. Carina’s off today, I bet she’ll make you some soup.” She held out a hand and part of you didn’t want to take it. Part of you wanted to prove yourself to your boss, but Maya’s offer was too good to pass up. Carina made the best soup and she was always so good at knowing exactly what you needed. 

You took the hand and allowed yourself to be led out of the station, ignoring everyone’s kind words and well wishes. Maya got you situated in the car, both of you silent. She was incredibly gentle, brushing your hair away from your face and lingering a bit with her touches, but she was still frustrated with you. It was okay, you understood. You had scared her. 

The ride home was quick and quiet. You were half asleep and Maya was listening to the radio, your cough overpowering the soft music. Carina would probably insist that you sleep with at least two humidifiers tonight, but it wouldn't matter, at least you’d be with them. 

You let your eyes slip closed and you leaned against the cool window, shivering in your loose clothes. You wanted your bed and someone to hold you. Unfortunately, you’d have to wait for those things. They’d probably make you shower before you were allowed to climb into the bed.

You were right. The second you got into the house Carina was all over you, asking a flurry of questions and speaking in rapid-fire Italian about your condition. Normally you loved to listen to speak the language that you didn't understand, but now it was just messing with your mind. 

She had ordered you and Maya into the bathroom, promising to have your room made up with whatever she believed that you would need to feel better. The shower was nice enough. Maya washed your hair, allowing you to lean back against her in your exhaustion. It was tough to stay standing, but she was there, making sure that you would be okay. 

“M’sorry.” You rasped, blinking teary eyes at the worried looking blonde. She tilted her head to the side and smiled, gripping your elbows tightly. 

“Babe, I just want you to be safe. I’m sorry you don’t feel well. I wish that you had told one of us sooner, then you would have gotten to be with Carina all day. It could have been a good day, not an awful one. Okay?” You nodded your understanding and sniffled softly, your nose running in what you were sure was a disgusting way. Maya looked at you lovingly nonetheless. 

When the brunette said that she was going to get everything you could possibly need, she had really meant it. The room that the three of you shared was decked out in everything one would want for a sick day. Boxes of tissues, a mug of tea on the bedside sitting beside a glass of apple juice, three humidifiers, a bottle of cold medicine, a fluffy blanket, and extra pillows.

“You did that pretty fast, Car.” You forced out, climbing into the bed with the help of both of your girlfriends. Maya followed and wrapped her arms around your waist, holding you close while Carina measured out a dose of medicine. 

“Si, I work quickly. Now open your mouth, I want to see how high your temperature is.” She was in work mode right now, they’d be time for joking after you did what you were told. You pouted but opened your mouth, holding the thermometer under your tongue. The brunette carded her fingers through your hair as you waited for the reading, looking utterly disappointed. 

“102.3, oh Y/n, no wonder you do not feel well. Take this, alright? Then you can go to sleep.” She kissed your forehead, prompting you to obey her wishes. You were a sucker for physical attention, even more so when you were sick. 

The medicine tasted like you licked a fake plastic cherry and stung your throat, but it was what it was. Both women smiled when you finished it and you got twin kisses on each of your cheeks. These women were amazing. 

You felt your eyes fill with tears and you ducked your head, not wanting to show them that you were about to cry. That was just too much, they didn’t need to deal with your unnecessary emotions at the same time. 

“Oh baby, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Maya crooned, tilting your chin back up so that you were forced to meet her crystal blue eyes. You felt Carina’s arms slip around your waist as she sat on your other side and that was about all that you could take. 

You broke into stifled sobs and pressed your head against the blonde's shoulder in search of comfort. You didn’t want to talk about it, you just wanted to cry. Which was stupid, because earlier you had been completely fine. Now you were bawling like a baby in the arms of your girlfriends. 

Neither of them said anything while you cried, they just let you, holding you close until you were too tired to cry anymore. You didn’t actually remember falling asleep, all that you knew was that one minute it was dark out, and the next you were laying down with your head on Carina’s chest, both of the women asleep beside you. 

Your body still hurt and you still felt disgusting, but at least you weren’t alone. Being sick and alone was worse than being sick with people who loved you.

#station 19 #fever #sickfic #fanfiction #sick fanfiction #sick reader #greys anatomy #carina deluca #maya bishop #marina #maya x carina #maya x carina x reader #marina x reader #sick fanfic #sick you #sick y/n #mentions of fire #minor whump #fever whump #station 19 sick fanfiction #hurt/angst #hurt/comfort #fluff #andy herrera #ben warren

[claymoresword]

You Get Me So High | Maddy Perez x Rue Bennett

Summary: Rue and Maddy are going on a double date but while alone in the car, they get carried away. 18+

Pairing: Rue x Maddy

Wordcount: 1.5k

Warnings: porn basically no plot, top!rue, pda

Note: i saw that pic of zendaya for the first time today and lost my mind a little.. just got me thinking abt how maddy would react seeing rue wear something like that lol needless to say i got carried away but ur gonna benefit from that! enjoy!

ps: its canon to me whenever maddy and rue are together they act like they're the only two people on earth.. cute but totally inconsiderate to everyone around them

apologies for the sheer amount of typos

"For fuck sake." Rue sighs.

She's been searching for something to binge on Netflix but nothing is peaking her interest. Rue stares at her laptop for a few more seconds until she decides to give up.

She picks up her phone and decides to text Maddy instead. The raven haired latina always seemed to have some new gossip to share with her, maybe tonight will be the same.

It's almost as if Maddy could telepathically hear Rue's cry for help because before she's managed to type anything, her phone lights up with a text.

Mads

picking u up in 5 mins.

Rue's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

Rue

what

where we going ?

Mads

kat invited us bowling w her and ethan

u wanna spend time with me don't u

Rue

ofc i do

but i wish you'd tell me earlier i need to mentally prepare for stuff like this

Mads

what does that even mean

im outside btw

Rue glances at her outfit. She's only wearing grey sweatpants and a t shirt. She's basically dressed for bed.

Rue ponders for a second. Maybe she should go put on something else.

Maddy doesnt allow her girlfriend to ruminate on the thought a second longer, she aggressively sounds the car horn.

The older girl is notoriously impatient, Rue will not risk getting on her bad side tonight.

Without missing a beat Rue quickly grabs her phone and wallet, climbing out her bedroom window to meet Maddy in the car.

Rue climbs in the vehicle and greets Maddy with a peck on the lips.

The shorter girl taking the opportunity to deepen the kiss for a few moments, settling her hand on the back of Rue's neck.

"Hey" Rue breathes out against Maddy's lips, as a smile forms on her own.

"Hi" The older girl responds, reciprocating the smile.

Rue leans back and reaches over to put on her seat belt.

"You're literally an angel sent to save me from existential boredom." Rue quips.

Maddy rolls her eyes in response but a smile forms on her lips.

---

They pull up to the bowling arena and Maddy takes one final look at herself in the car mirror, running her hands through her hair, making sure she looks presentable.

As Maddy was focused on herself Rue unwarily grabs the bottom of her t shirt lifting it to wipe her mouth. Exposing her toned stomach.

It was only then when Maddy took notice of what Rue was wearing.

She had on an oversized t shirt with grey sweatpants that hung just below her waist, her boxers showing a little.

Maddy feels something stir in the pit of her stomach. She can't really explain why she finds it so attractive. She's heard people talk about how hot sweatpants were on men but she always found it was overrated.

Seeing it on Rue however, it makes sense.

It's as if they were invented specifically for her.

Her girlfriend's ability to look good without really trying has always been something Maddy admired.

Rue goes to pull up her pants slightly still unware of her girlfriend gawking at her.

Maddy then focuses her eyes on Rue's hands, she notices her prominent veins and long fingers.

Her talented fingers.

The taller girl's hands were noticeably large compared to Maddy's smaller more delicate ones.

Rue always knows what to do with her hands.

Maddy finds herself picturing Rue's hands all over her body, grabbing her thighs, her chest, her ass.

Maddy's train of thought gets interrupted when Rue clears her throat. Now finally aware of her girlfriends fixed gaze on her.

"Can i help you with something?" Rue asks humor evident in her tone.

"Hm?" Maddy responds meeting her girlfriend's gaze an innocuous look on her face.

"You're eyeing me like a piece of meat." Rue states.

A smirk forms across Maddy's face but doesn't say anything in response, only leaning in to pull the taller girl in for a deep kiss.

Rue kisses Maddy back just as hard, she leans forward slightly her hand moving to rub the older girl's exposed thigh.

Another rush of arousal goes through Maddy's body this time settling right at her core.

She pushes Rue backwards the younger girl now back in her own seat.

Maddy quickly unbuckles her seatbelt moving her legs up, straddling Rue, her legs settling on either side of the taller girl's hips.

Maddy tugs at the hem of Rue's sweatpants as she places a wet kiss on her neck. She then runs her tongue along the base of her ear before moving down again settling on her pulse point. Rue's breathing quickens, urging the smaller girl to bite down on her neck. That earned a louder more desperate noise from the younger girl.

"Baby, we're in a parking lot." Rue whispers, referring to the amount people going in and out of their cars in the busy area.

"I don't care." Maddy responds, kissing her girlfriend again before grabbing Rue's hand, placing it on her own ass.

Rue gives Maddy's ass a firm squeeze before slowly finding her way back to her thigh.

She lifts up Maddy's skirt slightly, exposing her girlfriend's underwear and giving herself more access.

Rue's is once again rubbing at her girlfriend's thigh but moving no further.

Maddy grows more impatient as she squirms in her girlfriend's lap. Eventually seeking more friction for her now throbbing core, Maddy starts grinding against the taller girl's lap, her hand getting lost in Rue's hair giving it a firm tug.

Rue moves her hand up and kneads Maddy's breast over her top.

The smaller girl's breathing now heavy as a moan spills out of her directly into Rue's mouth, hips still moving against her lap.

"Fuck me." Maddy breathes out, her voice trembling.

Rue moves her hand now placing the palm of her hand directly onto her girlfriend's center rubbing circles over the fabric of her underwear.

Maddy moves her hips following the motion, grinding against Rue's hand.

The younger girl finds the zipper on Maddy's jacket and unzips it with one hand exposing her bare chest. Rue's mouth quickly takes Maddy's nipples into her mouth. Licking it in circles matching the momentum of her other hand on Maddy's pussy.

Maddy whines, growing more desperate.

She hastily grabs Rue's hand dipping it into her underwear, signaling for Rue to put her fingers inside her.

The younger girl dips two fingers into her girlfriend's entrance feeling just how wet the older girl was. Her fingers slide into her with ease and she starts pumping, quick and deep, feeling Maddy's walls contract against her.

Maddy starts moving her hips again, this time bouncing up and down on Rue's fingers assisting with her own pleasure.

Rue feels Maddy's arousal drip onto her hand and down the shorter girl's thigh. Her own breathing now growing more ragged as she watches her girlfriend move against her fingers.

Rue thought Maddy always looked beautiful but she was truly most breathtaking when she's on top of her like this, eager and wanting for release.

Maddy's moans now growing louder and more obscene.

People walking past definitely heard them but Rue didn't care anymore, she actually found immense pleasure in it.

"Fuck- Rue" Maddy chokes out. Hearing her girlfriend say her name with such need sent a jolt throughout Rue's body.

She starts pumping into the older girl deeper and harder.

Like a reflex, Maddy's hand moves to Rue's throat wrapping her fingers around and holding her firmly in place.

She was about to cum, Rue could tell based on Maddy's grip on her neck accompanied with the expression her face and the feeling of her walls tightening against her fingers.

Just as Maddy was reaching her climax, Rue leans forward and bites down on Maddy's neck, hard.

The older girl screams out, and Rue brings her hand over her mouth muffling the deafening sounds of pleasure spilling out of her girlfriend.

Maddy's eyes roll to the back of her head and her whole body is now trembling, as the intense orgasm rips through her.

Rue watches her girlfriend in awe.

She pulls her fingers out of her and Maddy whines at the loss.

Eyes hooded, she watches as Rue licks her fingers clean.

Maddy crashes their lips, rubbing her tongue against Rue's, tasting herself.

"You're so fucking amazing." Maddy says breathless, once their lips disconnected.

Rue pulls her girlfriend in for another kiss without saying a word merely smiling into it, and then moving to place a quick kiss on Maddy's forehead.

Maddy leans her head against Rue's chest, letting herself rest on her lap, trying to regain her strength.

Rue takes the opportunity to rub Maddy's back soothingly giving her the time she needs to recover.

Their moment of bliss was finally interrupted when they hear knocks on the window.

It was Kat.

"What the hell? I've been texting you. This is what you've been doing?" Kat huffs, evidently annoyed.

Maddy lifts her head and meets Rue's gaze both of them stiffling a laugh.

#euphoria #euphoria fic #maddy perez #maddy perez smut #maddy perez x reader #rue bennett #rue bennett smut #rue bennett x reader #maddy perez x rue bennett #maddy x rue

[cuichichan]

hiiiii can u plz ask for something angsty? Ok ok so imagine Miguel comes home to find his girlfriend or wife kidnapped by a villain. She’s ok but flash forward to the aftermath of the event, like she can’t get any sleep bc she’s scared it’s gonna happen again, and she gets nightmares abt it, stuff like that. Anyways thank you sm and have a great day/night 🫶🏻

Flashbacks

Miguel O’Hara x Reader

Summary: You, as the wife of the Spider-Man of earth 2099 are a target for villains, after you get kidnapped you get traumatic flashbacks/dreams in your sleep which cause panic attacks

Taglist: Nobody cuz all my moots think Miguel is ugly

A/N: Okay Stink Stink I gotchu we’ll see. Hope you have an amazing day btw pooks! (Ignore the divider I had nothing else srry)

You gasped for breath as you woke up covered in sweat. Your wheezing filled the room. It happened again.. you had that dream again.

The dream where you were in a warehouse tied up and being yanked by the hair by an anonymous person. The farther away you are from the day it happened. The more vivid the dreams get. This time it was of when they pushed you to the ground threatening to kill you. It was horrible. Your anxiety took over, it got hard to breath and you looked beside you to see your husband gone.. you wheezed gasping for air. Your hands gripped the sheets as your eyes welled up with tears. Then, the door of your bedroom opened, it was your husband, Miguel “Hey! Hey.. calm down carinõ..” he rushed to your side holding you to his chest.

Your breathing slowed down as he held you “I had the dream again..” you sobbed into his grey t-shirt. “And you weren’t beside me.. and I panicked..” you said shakingly

He rubbed your back reassuringly “it was just a nightmare.. you’re okay.. I’m here” he kissed your head “Oh Miguel..” you said “I’m scared.. scared it will happen again.. afraid you’ll leave me because I’m a burden..”

“don’t say that, you’re not a burden, you’re the love of my life, and nothing will ever change that..” he said

After that night, no more nightmares as you slept in the warm arms of your husband

#miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel x y/n #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel x reader #emmita replies #emmita rambles #emmita rants

[jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd]

Heyoooo

First of all, I just want to say that I absolutely love all of your stories, I feel like you totally understand every characters from SnK and I couldn't stop smiling every time I was reading something wholesome (and my heart was breaking when it was sad kfkdndndn), can't wait to start your Jean x Reader slow burn fic. 🤗

I was wondering if I could request some headcanons for girlfriend Pieck x f!reader (if it's alright to ask for f!reader ofc, if not simply g!neutral) ? 👉👈

(Btw, in your masterlist, when we click for the Zeke boyfriend link, it's actually the Dilf!Jean x reader)

Have a nice day/night. 😊

a/n: thank you so much, i adore you! i hope you love my jean fic so much, just bare with me because the first chapter needs to be edited! wlw/mlm/etc relationships are perfectly fine here, and they always will be. i've been waiting for people to request wlw, i feel like it doesn't get enough love and tysm for telling me about my masterlist! i will fix it, anyway heres

girlfriend pieck finger

the sleepiest girlfriend in the whole entire world. she's always sooo tired, no matter how much rest she gets the previous night. always rubbing her eyes and yawning.

pieck naturally smells really good. it's a natural but sweet type of smell. she also has exquisite taste in perfumes and shampoos.

she's not much of a chef but she enjoys baking. her favorite thing to make is probably cupcakes because they're quick, simple and delicious.

she has a really loud laugh. you don't find it obnoxious at all. it's beautiful and reminds you of some sort of celestial being.

i'd say her love language is giftgiving with physical touch being a close second. she's the type to bring you 'just because' flowers.

your relationship with her is entirely freeing and healing. there is no toxicity about it.

she's a bit of a night owl so often times the two of you will be running to the nearest convenience store in the middle of the night for snacks.

pieck doesn't really dress up unless it involves you two going on a date. she likes to wear cute sundresses that are a little bit floral, but not the ugly type of floral. you know what i mean.

she's your biggest supporter. she listens to you so intensely. she's also highly opinionated and will tell you the truth even if it hurts, but she'll deliver it in a nice way.

it's hard to fight with her. she just blankly stares at you and blinks her big grey eyes until you calm down.

she isn't really the jealous type but loves to make the "that musta been your other girlfriend" joke.

she loves to play with your hair. brush it, braid it, curl it, etc.

pieck can't do her own makeup to save her life but she likes to practice on you and it turns out beautiful but also interesting.

she adores her forehead and cheeks being kissed.

she likes to sing with you.

pieck is also very fearless, very bold despite her sweet little face. she's very proud to be your girlfriend. she lets everyone know you're her partner and she is yours. she doesn't care what people think or what they say.

my ko-fi

#attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #aot headcanons #aot smut #aot fanfiction #snk headcanons #attack on titan headcanons #aot fluff #aot fanfic #aot x reader #pieck #pieck finger #aot pieck #snk pieck #pieck x reader #pieck x f!reader #attack on titan pieck #pieck x you #pieck x y/n #pieck finger headcanons #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan imagines #attack on titan smut #attack on titan fluff #attack on titan hcs #pieck finger hcs #cart titan #the cart titan #mikasa x reader #annie leonhardt x reader

[somethingmissingthiswaycomes]

Would it be weird to ask how you plan out your embroidery designs? If not weird and you have the time/spoons do you have any tips?

Oh no worries, I am the OP! @handmadehazefromtheheart is my craft account. ^w^ You were referring to this post, right?

Asking isn't weird at all btw. I like questions. :3 Though I dunno if my answer will be the most helpful, since I'm still pretty experimental with my embroidery.

For the brain, I literally just doodled onto the fabric with a water soluble pen.

For the latest piece before that, I traced the outline + important features of a picture I had of my girlfriend by holding fabric pinned in a hoop up to my laptop screen. Then I flipped the fabric around in the hoop so it was right ways up. I did the same with her music logo, which I made for her birthday this year.

Mostly, though, I've been actually drawing out patterns on paper.

I trace them onto the fabric using a white screen behind it. (I literally just Google "white" and open an image full screen.)

Getting the colors right is hard, but I'm getting the hang of it I think.

For the brain, I decided as I went which sections would be which shade of teal on the fly.

For the portrait, I gathered various shades of coral (the color of the InfiniTints prompt it was for) and then separated them into groups based on where I thought each shade would work best. I had a hair pile and a skin pile, and in each pile I determined which would be used for lighter areas and darker areas based on the picture I was using.

For the In Decay logo, I did pretty much the same thing but with whites and greys, though I haven't shown off the full thing yet. (I'm going to do that in a special way. :3c Stay tuned.) The mouse had the same process. The mouse was actually the first one I did it like that for, and I love how it turned out—and the fact that a duplicate made as a commission came out so nice after.

You can kind of see on the clover pic above that I actually labeled it for where I wanted which shades of green. I should probably do that more.

I've mostly been working with long and short stitch, but working on this pre-made kit has helped me get a sense of how to use different kinds of stitches together.

So far, the brain is the most deliberate in terms of different stitches.

[ID: A two second video showing off the embroidered result of the brain sketch near the top of the post. It's mostly satin stitch, but the outlines are all stem stitches, and there are French knots in some places next to backstitches and split stitches that swirl. /end ID]

I'd say I've improved a lot from my first attempt last year:

Oh... I got away from myself writing that out, didn't I? I hope you got what you were asking for out of it! 😅

#crafts #asks #embroidery #hand embroidery #fjskjfjd I rambled so hard there I dissociated after writing it I'm fine tho thanks for the ask #This was fun to go over

[wackyrumble]

Charisma House v.s. Fusakin

Charisma House - Charisma House

Seven guys living together. Iori: makes people sign slave contracts to treat him like a dog, Terra: self obsessed, Rikai: drinks boiling water instead of alcohol, Saru: rebel who crashed a wedding with a metal pipe, Oshe: tried to kill himself because Rikai was nice to him, Amahiko: "world sexy ambassador, minister of sexy affairs" and gets seasonal dick pains, Fumiya: the normalest one. Read more about them below.

Fusakin - MARIKINonline4

Fusakin was once a balloon that fought with sharp weapons, despite the risks, and eventually gave himself a body through alchemy. Forbidden alchemy, which put him on house arrest. Through a series of events, he creates a beast which he attempts to destroy his soul in order to kill it but it kills him before he can. Read more about Fusakin below.

Full description of the Charisma House:

“apologies im submitting all of the characters from here. you can pick your favorite(s)/the weirdest. **my personal picks (they always get a “wtf”)

**IORI: (bottom right) so basically his entire thing is hes a slutty malewife and loves doing things for others.. but hes also a masochist (in denial). he makes people sign slave contracts with him and forces them to burden him with tasks. he calls himself a dog for the people… he barks… he wears a collar… yeah. also he was a jealous girlfriend (tm) in a valentines day track and shot (we dont actually see it) rikai for “sneaking in chocolate” (he didnt do it) because he wanted to be the only one to give chocolate.

TERRA: (blonde) he loves himself. he’s obsessed with himself. hes married to himself. hes also genderfluid in my heart just look at him. he has 41 mirrors in his room as well as a giant painting of himself.

RIKAI: (glasses) the second normalest out of all of them. hes obsessed with keeping order and is kind of strict but we love him. he doesnt drink alcohol, instead drinking boiling water. he also thinks holding hands before marriage is illegal.

SARU: (pink) his names kei but they call him saru. hes the exact opposite of rikai. he rebels against every little thing like its hardwired into his brain (terra uses this against him). he acts tough but hes scared of ghosts. he tried to crash someones wedding and bring a metal pipe. he also has a lone wolf motif. hes an orphan.

OHSE: (trashbag head) hes really sad and sopping wet and pathetic. every time he makes a mistake his first response is “im sorry ill go die.” he likes reptiles. he never wears shoes his toes are always out. he has ugly ass neon yellow pants. his wiki page has a cw for suicide on it. he jumped out the window to try and kill himself because rikai was nice to him (hes kind of gay for rikai tbh).

**AMAHIKO: (youll know by the desc) dear god. hes basically the ceo of sex. like. he says his occupation is “world sexy ambassador, minister of sexy affairs.” hes also 30 btw. he has NINETY NINE POLES. he calls everything sexy. i mean everything. also he gets seasonal dick pains. he flirts with basically everyone. he wanted to pole dance for the elderly at a grocery store as a greeting. HE STRIPPED HIMSELF NAKED as his christmas present. hes a very silly and whimsical man.

FUMIYA: (orange jacket) hes 19 years old but has probably committed crimes. he has a sweet tooth. his entire thing is hes morally grey so hes by default the normalest. he cant swim. hes the one who invited everyone to the house.. somehow. he breaks the fourth wall and asks the audience for money.”

Full description of Fusakin:

"there are multiple factors contributing to this guys general weirdness so i am going to go over all of them. 1. his character design: like come on just look at the guy. ·×· lookin ass. his design weirdness is further exacerbated by the fact that hes the only playable numa (species name) to wear a shirt (most of them are naked, one wears a rudimentary cloak) so he stands out on account of his epic fashion win. he is gods strongest white boy 2. his general personality: this guy puts stars at the ends of his sentences sometimes this guy uses tildes. he considers himself 'everyones idol' and he is pretty much the most flamboyant character in the entire game. he gets more voice lines than practically any other character he will literally not shut up. did i mention the bushido thing yet i dont think i mentioned the bushido thing he considers himself some sort of honourable samurai type guy. hes just kind of a lunatic though he introduces himself like this

3. and this one is important - the shit hes pulled: so okay this is gonna take a minute. this guy used to be a balloon, right? he used to be a literal balloon, his arms were balloon strings, he fought with a shitton of swords and knives anyway despite the risk, you get the idea. then he decided he wanted a normal body to be on par with his friends because his balloon body was too weak for his liking, so he did dark forbidden alchemy to get an actual body! ...which put him on magical house arrest due to the law of equivalent exchange, so he wasnt able to leave. no one except like two guys checked on him for years. when the party shows up he has them go on some fetch quests to get the ingredients to make a powerful magic pendant. one of the items he has them get is a limited-edition strawberry daifuku that isnt even necessary he just eats it. then he makes the pendant in the microwave. he gives it to the party without saying what it does other than to use it in their hour of need, they use it way way later in the story to fight a powerful enemy, a dude shows up in a giant red suit of armour to fight for them. ...then someone pulls his helmet off and its just fusakin in a suit of armour thats way too big for him because he made it without taking measurements, and it turns out all the pendant was ACTUALLY for was to break his house arrest curse so he could just kind of show up and be cool at a critical moment. oh yeah hes a blacksmith he made that suit of armour and giant sword himself, in his forge room that he hid in the yard of the house he lives in (which is some kind of weird temple) underneath a stone lamp or whatever and its always sweltering hot in there because he leaves the forge running at ALL TIMES so its always at "peak efficiency", also you have to have him use his forge to upgrade your weapons to the highest tier and he goes fucking apeshit with it and theres a bunch of cartoon sound effects as he works. anyway in postgame he shows up and joins your party and everythings going well until way later in when the main fucked up and evil guy pushes a button in his fucked up mecha that causes the maidonium (FUCKED UP IF TRUE MAGIC MATERIAL) in fusakins artificial body to resonate with the traumatized evil spirits being used to power the maidonium in the mecha or whatever im not really sure how that worked. but the important part is it causes a tiny fusakin beast to chestburst out of his back and turn into a fucked up monster creature that immediately steals his sword and starts Killeing People and then later fusakin shows BACK UP in balloon mode again and helps his homoerotic bestie fight off the beast (he has a homoerotic bestie. you fight them during the main story and they have COMBO ATTACKSlike come on. he has the other guys name saved in his phone as "chikorita") hes like "hey i knew this might happen. anyway i promised my master id cut my head off if anything like this happened" and he tries to kill himself by destroying his soul forever to obliterate the beast but then it just fucking kills him before he can do that and thats where things just leave off for him right now we dont know what happens next because the postgame isnt finished yet! if you think this description is long please imagine with me how difficult it is to explain the rest of the plot of the game because good fucking lord i have tried and its always an hourslong explanation Anyway i hope you can consider fusakin for the weird character bracket"

#charisma house #marikinonline4 #fusakin #wacky round 1a

[woundthatswallows]

hi, i just wanted to thank you because i watched harold and maude 'cause you mentioned it a few days (weeks?) ago! it's a great film, so i was wondering if you had any more recs for 70s movies? love your blog a lot, btw <3

hi, i'm so glad to hear that! harold and maude is one of my all time favorites🖤 forever in my top three films. and i absolutely have 70s films recs, that has got to be my fave decade for cinema :) i'll just list them chronologically- lmk if u want me to sort them into groups by genre or something bc i know it's a lot lol

multiple maniacs (1970)

peau d'âne (1970)

death in venice (1971)

les frisson de les vampires (1971)

the devils (1971)

let's scare jessica to death (1971)

the velvet vampire (1971)

pink flamingos (1972)

sisters (1972)

cannibal girls (1973)

scenes from a marriage (1973)

la rose de fer (1973)

ganja & hess (1973)

badlands (1973)

the wicker man (1973)

the exorcist (1973)

vampyres (1974)

female trouble (1974)

alice doesn't live here anymore (1974)

je, tu, il, elle (1974)

jeanne dielman (1975)

nashville (1975)

the rocky horror picture show (1975)

grey gardens (1975)

shivers (1975)

salò (1975)

taxi driver (1976)

carrie (1976)

alice, sweet alice (1976)

mikey and nicky (1976)

the witch who came from the sea (1976)

suspiria (1977)

l'une chante, l'autre pas (1977)

eraserhead (1977)

rabid (1977)

3 women (1977)

hausu (1977)

the mafu cage (1978)

les raisins de la mort (1978)

girlfriends (1978)

autum sonata (1978)

nosferatu the vampyre (1979)

alien (1979)

the brood (1979)

fascination (1979)

over the edge (1979)

#asks #film recs

[starry-skies-116]

ROTTMNT HEADCANONS BECAUSE I WATCHED AND LOVE THIS SHOW AND AM HYPERFIXATING AGGRESSIVELY ON IT NOW:

They keep the surnames of “Hamato” despite abandoning the strictly traditional practices of the Hamato clan whilst also taking more eclectic inspiration from their arts to their own.

They all brumate btw. Pry this from my cold dead hands. Every time brumation season comes, the Disaster Twins Inc. hog the couch.

Donnie, because he’s autistic and is a softshell turtle, has sensory issues and is very picky about what food he eats and which clothes he wears, as well as what surfaces he touches. He secretly has a casual list catalogued about what sensory things he loves versus what he hates, and there’s a small area in his lab that’s sensory heaven for him.

All the turtles have different eye colours. Leo has natural heterochromia, one eye being cobalt blue and another eye being bright amber. Post-movie Raph has heterochromia from being turned into a Krang zombie for a short amount of time- one eye is emerald green, and another is a bright magenta purple. Donnie has warm brown eyes, and Mikey has baby/cornflower blue-ish grey eyes. April has hazel green eyes.

Teenage Mutant Intersex Turtles, anyone?? They’re all different variations of intersex on the intersex spectrum. Leo was presumed to be a guy and does have some male traits, but is biologically female- he’s both intersex and a trans dude (and I’m all here for it).

Raph is an aroace bigender (both transfem and demiboy), Mikey is genderfluid and greyaroace pansexual and panromantic, Donnie is nonbinary, asexual and greyromantic biromantic, and Leo is FTM trans, demisexual and gay (did I mention they are all intersex).

Yes I do headcanon disaster twins, and that Donatello was taller than Leonardo when they were younger but Leo is 3 and a half minutes older than Donnie and takes every damn opportunity to brag about it.

“We need CaCa and Maggie~!” “JUST SAY CALCIUM AND MAGNESIUM GODDAMNIT-”

In the future, all of the turtles have cloaking brooches and stable jobs that earn them great income. They also have apartments close to the sewers that is their home.

Okay, we all know Donnie’s canonically autistic. But what if all the turtles are on differing parts of the spectrum. More at 5.

Donnie in addition to being autistic has insomnia, BPD and misophonia and does have sight issues and is prone to migraines due to staring at screens and not getting enough sleep, Raph has panic disorder, dyslexia, OSDD-1a and GAD, Leo has ADHD-I, autism, GAD and is bipolar, and Mikey has ADHD-HI, dyscalculia and autism. All of them have some form of PTSD post-movie.

Leo does know how to play chess please and thank you. He just does it for fun and doesn’t really practice.

Splinter has PTSD, is autistic and is bisexual (the most unrealistic thing is young Lou Jitsu/Hamato Yoshi in his 20’s NOT kissing men and enby hoes in addition to women). He’s not a bad father, he just passed some of that generational trauma of everything that’s happened to him, as well as his regrets and grief, down to his kids without even knowing and feels terrible about it once he realizes. He may have made so many mistakes as a father, but he deeply loves his sons beyond what they could ever comprehend, and he’d send anyone to the shadow realm if they laid a finger on his beloved turtle children.

Donnie and Leo (mostly Donnie) bite each other for no reason at all- not enough to hurt or draw blood, but enough for the bitten to yelp and want an apology from the one who did the biting.

April O’Neil is an also autistic lesbian polyamorous demigirl. She’s saving up enough money by working at The Foot shoestore partially for her top surgery. Sunita is her best friend soon-to-be girlfriend. They’re gay disasters your honor.

Cassandra Jones is MTF trans. Fight me on this one.

Sunita, despite being a teenage slime yokai, does celebrate and participate in Indian culture and does consider herself Indian (let me have my rep I’m starved of please). She’s also a lesbian demigirl, and is asexual and autistic. She also has the ability of superhuman bodily elasticity, even in human form (though it is restricted somewhat in human form). Sunita WILL call pilaf ‘biryani that needs therapy’ okay, she’ll fight you if you say they are the same thing.

Queerplatonic/non-romantic Apritello where they have a super close relationship greater than best friends but cringe at the idea of being in a romantic relationship together wya <3

April’s African American, we all know, but what about her being of Afro-Iranian Jewish descent and her mother’s Shakshuka and Latkes and Rugelach and Sufganiyot being her absolute favorite among all the stuff she makes. She gets MAJOR hyped by the time Hanukah comes around and tells the Turtle boys and Splinter about it.

And there’s more, but I’ll tell y’all about that later, or we’ll be here all day.

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise donnie #rise leo #rise raph #rise mikey #rise april #rise splinter #rise sunita #rise cassandra #LGBTQIA+ #queer #Yoshi Hamato #disaster twins

[that-sarcastic-optimist]

hi, really liked the Evolutoin story you wrote, more medical au please?

This one as been sitting in my inbox since literally forever, (and it's still not the oldest one, which I feel horribly guilty about, btw) and it's inspired a little bit by (surprise, surprise) Grey's Anatomy.

I don't have time to write much anymore, so I hope it's fine that I used this ask as a drabble request, but I will try to write more on this if I have the time later.

Disclaimer: I do not own tvd or to. I am not a med student. All my knowledge of medicine is from Grey's Anatomy. Also very confused about the part whether rectal exams are a part of the urology department or not (pretty sure they're not), but I kind of needed to write that in, so I'm sorry if I'm wrong.

*sigh of relief* glad that's out. I'll stop talking now. Enjoy!

XXX

Klaus nearly jumps out of his own skin when he turns and sees Caroline smiling at him, batting her long eyelashes.

He raises an eyebrow.

“Hi,” Caroline starts cheerfully.

“Hi?” he says questioningly.

“Do you want to have lunch?”

“Can't,” says Klaus, walking past, his eyes still trained on her, then flitting back to his charts. “I have a surgery.”

“Oh,” Caroline pouts, then brightens. “What is it?”

“Craniotomy,” he replies, realizing that she’s following him. “I'll be done by three, so you should go ahead.”

She nods absent-mindedly, her eyes fixed on his charts. “Loving the hair today, by the way,” she says, smiling saccharinely.

“Thanks,” he says, extremely confused.

Her smile widens. “And you look very nice today. The scrubs are really working for you.”

“Caroline,” he drawls. “What do you want?”

“Okay,” she says, stepping in front of him, the bright smile still on her face, although he can see she’s a bit resentful at being caught out. “Here’s the deal.”

Klaus folds his arms and looks at her expectantly. “I need you to let me on your service today,” she says brightly.

“No.”

“Please,” she tacks on at the end, a sad effort at being polite.

“Still no,” he says, barely able to keep a smile from forming at her antics.

She huffs, the smile stubbornly still in place. “I need more hours on different services before next week. All I've been doing is Peds, and everywhere else is full.”

“So you came to me.”

“I checked and only Bonnie and Matt are on your service today. You have room for one more resident.”

“Caroline—”

“I know what you're going to say: that you shouldn’t treat me any different just because I'm your girlfriend, and that—”

“You're right, technically,” he says gently.

Caroline bites her lip. “I didn’t want to do this. I asked Georges to take me, but he’s already busy, so I had to come to you.”

He considers her. “If you want it, earn it," he says, and she looks hopeful. "If you manage to diagnose this patient,” he continues, handing her his chart. “I'll let you on my service. If not, well,” he winks at her, walking away. “You can always try Tanner.”

Caroline looks horrified. “That’s urology,” she spits at his retreating back. “You want me to look at penises and give rectal exams all day?”

Klaus looks at her innocently. “If it helps you get more hours other than Peds, then yes.”

She growls as the elevator closes.

He’d definitely be paying for the last bit later.

XXX

It's incredibly short, I know, and I apologize, but I hope you liked it, and please review!

Cheers!

#klaroline drabbles #klaroline #klaus mikaelson #caroline forbes

[drunkwalkhomecore]

I love you, tenderly, tragically 

-

Pairing: Wonyoung x gender-neutral reader

Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, mutual pining, fluff and minor angst with a happy ending, SFW

Warning: mentions of drinking, smoking, loud music, huge crowds, minor swearing and tight spaces. Reader is a bit possessive about Wonyoung (but nothing toxic)

Word count: 2500+ words

Summary: Wonyoung was your very best friend, your soulmate. But seeing her date all these dudes. It made you sick and in the end you chased them away. But Liz knew what was going on.

Note: so here goes nothing .-. also im sorry if it was not up to your expectations .-. Reader uses they/them pronouns btw. And there might be grammatical errors too so don't mind them.

-----

“Bestie stop staring at him like that. He’s not gonna die even if you keep thinking about it.”

“Shut up Liz.” you glared at the guy that was hugging Wonyoung by her waist. She was smiling at him while listening to him talk about what happened in the morning. It made you sick. Not by seeing them but the way he looked at her. 

“Nobody should look at her like that.” you gritted.

“Bestie, you do this with every guy she dates and chase him away! In the end, we both know you’re in love with your best friend! Just admit it already!” Liz rolled her eyes.

“No! I dont love her like that! I just… I'm just mad that she doesnt pay attention to us nowadays after she started dating that trash digging racoon.”

“He has a name ya know.”

“And it’s Racoon!”

“You sure you dont have those type of feelings for her? And you ain't jealous seeing her with him?”

“No! I mean yes! I ain't jealous and I don't have those feelings for her! Liz, don't you feel angry as well?”

“Nah. I'm sure I'm happy for her. She finally looks happy.” she gestured towards them. “You on the other hand.”

“Shush.”

“Okay.”

A few seconds later. “Liz, you sure she’s happy? It looks so fake.”

“Bruh.” Liz shook her head and kept doing her remaining homework. There’s no use in arguing with this idiot.

–

You were lying in your bed, hugging your pillow. You wondered. Was Liz saying the truth? That you were in love with your best friend?

‘Did I actually love her? Like love-love? Like i wanted her to be my girlfriend? I see her as my… girlfriend? Oh god this is so weird.’

You again buried your face in your pillow and faced the ceiling. Wonyoung and you drew paintings on your ceiling. She said your room was boring and she wanted to bring some life into it. She was really good at painting. You were average at it but she was the best at it. 

You smiled thinking about those moments. It was one of best moments in your life. You never wanted to loose her.

‘Wait... i have a crush on her? Oh shit! I don't! I hope she never sees me again then! It's embarrassing! It would have been better if she didnt know i existed! But she does! OML, kill me!’

A ding from your phone and you sprang up to check who messaged you. Speak of the devil, Wonyoung messaged you. You saved her number as ‘favourite person<3’. 

Favourite person<3:

AYOOOOOO

BESTIEEEEE

COMING TO THE PARTY TODAYYYYYY???????

Issokay if you dont want to

I know you hate those kind of places. 

Your hand hovered over the phone. Should you message her back? You didnt open it yet. If you didnt, she probably would think you were sleeping. But you couldnt control yourself and you texted her back.

Me:  

Sure :D

What was wrong with you? 

She immediately messaged back.

Favourite person<3:

Damn is it you y/n?

Should i check your temperature later?

Me:

Yes it's me, idiot.

Now go i have to get ready

Favourite person<3:

Okieee

Byee

I love youuuuuu

Me: 

I love you tooooo

Byeeee 

Your heart was thumping against your chest. You used to say ‘i love you’ to each other regularly. But this meant so much to you.

You couldn’t wait to meet Wonyoung at the party.

-

After ten years of digging through your closet, you gave up and went to the party with what you were wearing before. A grey hoodie and gym pants. It's better that not going to the party.

She would understand why you didn't show up but you had promised to her to be there. You weren't gonna break a promise you made to her.

Arriving at the place, you cringed. These teenagers are behaving like animals. They have no respect for the place. Why were you here again? You could already feel the claustrophobia crushing in. The entire population came here. Ew.

You took a deep breathe in. You were here for Wonyoung. Not for them. You walked in and regretted walking inside.

Loud music, smoke in the air and smell of alcohol made you nauseous. Maybe you should hide in the bathroom for a while and message her. It was better than staying here.

You were finding the bathroom when you heard Wonyoung call for you from the back. “Y/n!”

You turned around and you burst into a huge smile. Wonyoung did her hair which made her look like a princess. She wore the black frock you gifted her and thigh high socks. She looked so beautiful today. She stood out from the crowd so bad.

“Where were you? I was finding you everywhere.” her voice made you smile even more.

“Stop laughing y/n. I was really scared that you wouldnt come here. I miss you, you know. Even if it has been a few hours.”

“Uh…” that made you blush. You hope she couldnt see it. Well it was dark but you hoped she couldn't see it. “I just arrived here. I was searching for you.”

“Wonyoung!” her boyfriend arrived her and kissed her cheek. He threw his arm around and it was difficult to keep a smile on your face anymore. He really had the guts to do this right in front of you, didn't he?

“Who’s this?” he asked her while scanning you head to toe. So he’s my competition? Heh! As if he’s so good! Stupid trash digging racoon!

“This is my best friend y/n. I told you about them didnt i?”

“I remember! I'm jacob by the way.” he offered a hand and you shook it hesitantly. 

“I’m y/n.”

“Wonyoung talks about a lot about you.”

“She talks about me?” you looked at her with an amused face.

“Yeah. She said you two have been friends since seven, you’re a genius at every subject and you wanted to move away with her somewhere once?”

“Oh. Right.” damn Wonyoung.

“Babe, are you gonna come along with us or are you gonna stay with your friend?” he asked.

“I’ll stay with her thank you very much.”

“Whatever you say. It was nice to meet you y/n. See you two around.” he kissed her cheek and left with his friends.

Now you realised why she was crazy about him. Shit, he’s good.

-

After that party, you felt down and bad about yourself. Her boyfriend was such a considerate guy. And he was really sweet and respectful towards her and everyone else. He was the best guy out of all the guys she dated in the past.

Could Wonyoung even like you with such a great guy by her side?

Your friends noticed it. So did Wonyoung. but she didn't know the reason. She asked you what was the reason.

“Dont worry about it much okay? I just feel drained after that party. It's gonna take some time to recover.”

“Okay~ are we gonna do the homework together today though?” she smiled in your face and you felt bad for what you were gonna say to her.

“I'm sorry Wonyoung but I have a test coming tomorrow and i have to study. You know i need peace and quiet so.” you checked the time. “And i'm late for class so see you around.”

Liz knew what was happening. You called her after the party. She could feel what you were going through. Not like she actually went through it but she knew.

You knew Jacob was great for Wonyoung and they really liked each other. They had good chemistry with each other. And you didnt want to come in between them. So you were distancing yourself from her. It hurted you but you thought it was the best.

You also knew Wonyoung was hurting too but she has Jacob by her side so she’ll forget about it soon enough.

Damn this love story is a mess.

-

You hadnt talked to Wonyoung for two months. If she came to you during lunch, you would grab the lunch and runaway. Same in the hallways. Even in the grocery story. In the neighborhood. You ranaway or went in the opposite direction. 

Wonyoung wasn't like she would follow you. She had her pride and anger as well. But she couldn't keep being angry at you all the time.

“Liz does y/n hate me now?” she asked her one evening in the call.

“No girl it's … it's complicated. They love you girl. Very much. Just their mind’s a mess right now. They don't talk to me too anymore. Something about a depressive episode I guess.”

That was a lie. You and Liz were still talking. If Wonyoung found out, she’d be devastated.

A few days later, you were doing your homework in school absent-mindedly when you heard.

“They broke up?!” one of the girls behind you whispered.

“What?” you turned to them.

“You havent heard?” You shook your head. “Wonyoung and her boyfriend broke up yesterday.”

“What?! How?! I thought she was so in love with him!”

“Me too! But nobody knows why and how.”

You brought out your phone and texted Liz.

Me: 

LIZ! 

WONYOUNG AND JACOB BROKE UP!

Froggie:

WHAT

Me:

YEAH

THEY DID!

Froggie:

WHEN

Me:

YESTERDAY

Froggie: 

WHY AM I HEARING THIS NOW?

OML AFTER SCHOOL LETS GO TO HER HOUSE.

Me:

Wouldnt it be awkward for me?

Froggie:

SHUT UP!

SHES A FRIEND

YOUR VERY BEST FRIEND

ISSOKAY 

COME TO MY HOUSE AT 3 AND WE’LL GO TO HER PLACE TOGETHER

Me:

OKAY

-

At 3:10, you were at Wonyoung's house. Liz rang the bell and you were internally panicking. Would Wonyoung suddenly hate you for turning up at her house after suddenly ghosting her for three months straight? Would she slap you and kick you out?

Whatever happens, you deserved it anyway.

Mrs. Jang opened the door and knew what you two were here for. “She’s upstairs, watching horror movies again.”

“Oh my lord, she’s crazy!” Liz yelled and ran upstairs. You followed her slowly. 

There were pictures of you and Wonyoung on the wall. A few along with Liz.

The picture that caught your eye was a picture of you and Wonyoung when you two were seven. You had climbed on a tall trees in her backyard and she was scared that you would fall down and die. Silly girl. 

You knocked on her door twice and stepped in. Liz was putting some other movie while Wonyoung stared into nothing.

“Hi… Wonyoung. How have you been doing?”

Wonyoung finally came to earth hearing you and stood up. She stomped towards you and you though she was gonna slap you.

Instead she hugged you tightly. “Please dont ever ignore me. I'm sorry y/n.” that caught you off guard.

“What? I should be the one saying sorry. I ghosted you for three months and shut you out cause i was depressed again. You’re my best friend and i shouldn’t have done that. I'm really sorry. I won't do that ever again. Please dont think it was your fault.”

Tears formed in her eyes. “Look at you. You silly girl. Crying for stupid reasons again.” you wiped her tears and held her face. “Don't be so hard on yourself stupid.”

“Yes ma’am.”

You three were back together. The best of friends. Watching movies and eating junk food like you used to in sleepovers. You didn't talk about Jacob or anybody else. Just you three and nobody else.

The time came when you and Liz had to leave. But Wonyoung didnt want you to leave. Liz had a test but you didn't. You hoped that you could stay for the night.

It was like God had granted her wish. Your mom called and she said she couldn't come home today. There was too much work to do. She said you could stay at Wonyoung’s or Liz’s for today.

Wonyoung was so happy about it. She had you all for herself for the night. 

Liz had left at 9 after eating dinner so you two were having a sleepover. You two had sleepovers at her house so many times that she had your old clothes in her closet. 

“This is gonna be so fun! I still have that pillow you left.” she took it out and threw it at you. “Catch!”

You caught it and thought out loud. “Actually i was thinking of maybe we could sleep in a bit early today? It has been a long day.”

“Yeah it has been. I’ll go get my extra blankets.”

She was such a sunshine and a ball of energy. Unlike you. You were tired even if you got enough sleep.

You had changed into your old clothes by the time she came back with the extra blankets. Wonyoung turned off the lights and you unfolded it. You laid in her bed and she laid beside her. 

She turned to you and both stared at each other wordlessely.

“y/n?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you.”

You smiled a little. “I love you too.”

“No no. I think i love you.”

“You love me? That way?”

She nodded. Okay that was surprising. “Its okay if you dont love back. Its understandable.”

“No! I love you too but. I thought you liked Jacob! He was such a good guy.”

“I know but i didnt like him. He confessed to me and i said yes. All of  the guys i’ve dated, they confused to me and i said yes. But i didnt like them at all. I was faking it.”

“Why?”

“Well, its stupid.” she turned towards the ceiling. “I thought you would think of me as a freak if i confessed to you. You would cut your friendship with me. And i didnt want that. So i hid my feelings from you. From everyone actually.”

“How did you and Jacob break up though?”

“He said he lost his feelings for me. It was a stable relationship but something was missing for him. So i gave a fake reason too. I said i also lost feelings too. We agreed and its a mutual break up i guess.”

“Oh… when did you realise you were in love with me then?”

“You know the play of sleeping beauty and we played the leads when we were 12?”

You laughed. “Our disastrous first kiss.”

She shook her head. “Wasn't for me though. I liked it. No i loved it. I wanted to keep kissing you after that. I’ve been love with you, ever since.”

“I… i dont know what to say.”

“You know this is the part you ask me to be your girlfriend right?” she cheekily said.

You laughed. “Okay Miss Jang Wonyoung. Be my girlfriend.”

“Yes!” she smiled and you wondered how do you have such a pretty friend, no, girlfriend. She’s your girlfriend now. “But let’s keep it private for a while. It’ll be too sudden ya know.”

“Let’s tell Liz though.”

“She has been shipping since day 1. She would be so happy.” Wonyoung giggled. 

“Yeah. Come here.”

She scooted over to you and turned her back to you. You hugged her and she held your hand.

You could get used to this. 

------

Tagging @hahaha-darn-it

#wonyoung #jang wonyoung #wonyoung x reader #ive #ive x reader #friends to lovers #my writing #writing #fanfiction #ive fanfic #childhood best friends to lovers #mutual pining #fluff #minor angst #best friends to lovers

[leadendeath]

i don't want to reblog the post because my commentary is not relevant to the subject, so i didn't want to put this in said post's tags. also as i type it turned into a long...? something. vent maybe? i don't even know what to refer to it as. but i've seen a couple of posts recently that have really got me thinking.

as i'm writing this, they both just appeared on my dash. they are this one and this one. i'm definitely going to post this now (i have to) and not just save it in my drafts forever.

Having sex with friends sounds nice! I am pro-that! (pro meaning not anti) for me it would alleviate my fears of hooking up with those I just met or haven't known for years because friends are less likely to murder/kidnap you or give you a disease! (I do not want to die from sex lmao) the con: now they know what i look like and what bodily/physical problems i have that aren't visible to the general public. no. i can't have sex with my friends. my god. it all boils down to my body dysmorphia. literally the mortifying ordeal of it being known

So I think again, like I often do, about my place on the ace spectrum. I usually do not care for labels, don't find them necessary to apply to myself, but it's totally cool if other people have tons of different labels that they use. I am pro-that too! I myself am definitely grey-ace or demi-something. I landed on aegosexual- a disconnect between yourself and your sexual attraction- for a long time. I am never sexually or romantically attracted to somebody I don't know. Not even people on the screen. What if that hot (definition for this context: visually appealing) actor is a dick? Good looks garbage personality? At least you can do research on him. Not the case with "irl contacts" (definition: non-famous and real people who you might actually meet or know in person).

I know that I definitely experience sexual attraction, and want to have sex. Based on that I don't feel quite right calling myself asexual.

I don't LIKE that I feel too bad about experiencing sexual attraction to act on it. There's this weird feeling that's hard to place, but closest to "guilt", I'd say. Disgust with myself.

That time I was propositioned to go back to a con hotel (i turned him down and he listened and respected me and was nice, it's just i stopped myself), or that other time when making out and groping (different guy different occasion; we could've gone further but i stopped myself), or even just flirting and talking about our turn-ons and things we Like with my long-distance online sort-of bf that I had. I'm even hesitating to follow the "after dark" art accounts that I want to follow on bird site because of the guilt and almost embarassment I feel at myself (I'm fully aware that the only reason most people have locked accounts which you have to request to follow is to keep out minors and trolls btw, and i'm certainly neither of those!).

All of this is stuff I want and that's enjoyable to me, but this nagging "don't do that. you're gross. why would you say/do that? you're being weird. stop. stop. stop. you're not allowed to do these things." is always there in my mind. I don't want it to be there, and it's always there.

Now, this doesn't come from religious trauma, like "sex before marriage = wrong and bad"? "gay sex = ultimate evil"? Nah, I was never told those things. I didn't even have a very religious upbringing. These thoughts can't be explained away by any of that. Even my mom has always been like "you can have a girlfriend or a boyfriend! i don't mind as long as you're happy! :)" yknow having that nice accepting approach to that time when I was like 15 and settled on bi for "what i was" at the time. No judgement, no condemnation there either.

It's not real.

When I learned that I have ocd, suddenly I started to maybe have an explanation for these thoughts. Some people's obsessions focus on repetition or contamination. A good part of my obsessions focus on condemnation. I'm scared of it. I take "beating yourself up over something" to the next level. Just like any other person who's familiar with delusions, intrusive thoughts, etc will tell you: knowing it's not real doesn't make it any better. Doesn't make it stop. Doesn't make it go away.

When I could explain this detrimental thought process away by finding this horrible disorder to pin the blame on, I felt freer. I've thought many times throughout my mentally ill life about bringing up my (questioning)asexuality to a therapist one day, and I still will, even more so now. i felt before like I'd bring it up to them and not be able to back it up with any evidence, and just be brushed off? That's a stupid way to think, I know. And a therapist who would really do that is one you'd leave immediately. You don't need evidence to talk about how you feel, that's so silly... but that thought itself comes back around, in a vicious cycle, to my needing to justify myself because otherwise I am Wrong And Bad. jeez. what a way to think. i hate that. will be so glad when i get it under control after 25+ years.

edit: oh ya there's also this. my tags on one of the above posts i never reblogged, sat in my drafts.

my disability is inseparable from my sexuality, whatever it is.

#ocd #bdd #intrusive thoughts #demisexual #acespec #aegosexual #autochorissexual #that's a retired term i know so i won't use it again; but that's what it was called when i was younger #unusual for me to remember such a long word lol! it'd be harder for me now. /old #if anyone wants to say anything or tell me they relate- that'd be nice :) i'm purely just venting but sharing your thoughts is welcome #if you want to!

[leighcartist]

Hey btw, I'm still working on my podcast too! I just recently released my first movie special (which also happens to be the first time I've had guests on the pod!). I, along with Austin of the Andalite Bandits podcast, and my girlfriend and prodomme Kiki, get increasingly drunk and dismayed as we comment on the 50 Shades of Grey movie.

Find Curdled Ink wherever you get your podcasts!

#podcast #patreon podcast #curdled ink #curdled ink podcast #50 shades trilogy #50 shades of gray #fifty shades trilogy #fifty shades of grey #christian grey #anastasia steele #commentary track #movie commentary #podcaster #podcasting #movie special #bd/sm kink