#this is honestly mainly just in general bc it makes me happy

[space-ninja-fashion-show]

Having a Wonderful time deciding that actually in my verse, platonic life partners/platonic marriage is a widespread and widely accepted thing just bc i want it to be

#obviously aroace ppl arent the only ones who can have/want platonic relationships that are deeper than just 'friendship' #but it is a typically aroace feeling/issue #kata's chatter #this is honestly mainly just in general bc it makes me happy #tho it is also relevant to 1) north and higgins and how they view their relationship #and 2) alden and kodiak who probably Would have been platonic life partners in their human lives #were they not yknow. outlaws and wanted criminals and all #just yet another level to both their genuinely v deep running friendship #and their absolutely infuriating level of pining

[leondickrider]

fluff alphabet ౨ৎ leon s kennedy x gn!reader

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 || working on sm leon fanfics at once ! i made this in like 20 minutes so it prolly sucks but idc!! nsfw alphabet coming soon :3

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 || fluff (obvi), not proofread or read by betas

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 || deinking mentioned, none

𝐗𝐎𝐗𝐎 || leon s kennedy mlist 🎀 @starzu

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

leon really loves just kicking back and relaxing with his s/o. after soo many life-threatening missions, he just wants to kick back on the sofa with his s/o in his arms and binge watch some tv. however, he also really loves taking they all the places they want to visit, whether it's a concert or a museum

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

everything, literally finds every inch of his s/o perfect and beautiful. but, he really loves their hands, especially if they are soft and smaller because it's the opposite of his hands that are rough from so much fighting and training. also finds their eyes beautiful, will literally hold contact for hours if he could

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

refer back to re4r how leon comforted ashley. he's really good at comforting you and will do anything to help cheer you up. 2 am emotional binge sesh? he's driving to the shoppe and buying you ice cream and frost and drizzle or syrup and sprinkles and brownie bits and cookies and and potato chips and and cheeseburgers and fries and tater tots and cheese and everything (i'm on a rlly strict diet so this is deadass just me listing foods i want rn) 5 pm cry sesh? he already has the tissues, blankets, stuffies and tear-jerking movies ready

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

in 1998, leon would dream about having a totally normal relationship with you. big suburban house, a couple kids. but after the raccoon city, he kind of changed his dreams. he still craves the normal, domestic life, but now he kinda envisions it as just you and him. not that he doesn't want kids, he just doesn't want them to be in such a dangerous world

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

i think he'd be more dominant in relationships when it comes to most things. not dominant in a weird, controlling way. but he would want his s/o to come to him before making any big decisions simply bc he probably brings home the bacon with his government paycheck. but other than financially, he's pretty passive, he really doesn't care what you do as long as you don't do like porn or like cheat

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

depends honestly; most fights he will forgive you, but sometimes he really holds it against you and just shuts you out for a while before resuming as if nothing happened. however, when he snaps and lets words he doesn't mean to get out, he will apologize so much. even if you forgive him, he doesn't believe it and will buy you everything

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

very grateful! in 1998-2013 and after vendetta specifically. he realizes that you help keep him happy pretty fast. if you're in raccoon city with him then he probably felt a lot better and more confident. (def not bc he wanted to show off in front of his partner!!) in 2004 he is soo grateful you were willing to stay with him even with the job he ended up with and with all the training he had to get. in vendetta i think that's when he might seem ungrateful cuz of his drinking.... but yeah after all that he's back to normal

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

a lot of secrets :(

mainly about work though, cuz unless you're an agent he literally cannot legally get into the details with you. he keeps secrets abt his drinking too, like you know he drinks but you don't know how much he drinks.

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

yes! he became more confident in himself because like being in a relationship makes him feel like somebody wants him, so he gains sm self confidence and actually wants to be stronger so he can return home from missions !

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

i think he gets jealous pretty easily. he will get a bit jealous if a person look at you twice, or somebody flirts. but part of him thinks you deserve somebody better so he doesn't ever tell you about his jealousy, you gotta hring it up first

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

a very good kisser!! every single kiss is filled w sm love and affection and passion <3 mainly bc he doesn't really know when it will be the last kiss :(

first kiss was really special even though it was spontaneous. it was in the late hours of the night, the whole apartment dark except for the tv light. and you were slow dancing to some random song when suddenly the mood felt right and he kisses you MANSBSHH (this is based on my first kiss with my ex ....)

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

he doesn't really confess first, he drops subtle hints that he has feelings for you and just gopes you catch onto his words

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

yes, going back to dream. he thinks about marriage all the time, he likes the idea of having a cute lil spouse to come home too after grueling missions

he proposes totally out of nowhere. he originally had a plan, he was going to take you on a romantic vacation before proposing to you while there. but he chickened out last second, so after several other attempts (that he backed out of last minute) he finally had enough. and then one morning he got down on one knee after buying you a ton of donuts

marriage is really good. he's such husband material. overprotective but not too overprotective. possessive but not too possessive. you know what i'm saying?

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

sticks to the classics most of the time: babe, baby, love, sweetheart, etc etc. lots of italian pet names

however when he's sweet he really branches out: sweet girl/boy, lovie, lovebug, cuddlebug, pretty

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

oh my gosh, this man is so lovey-dovey. literally heart eyes for you. but he forces himself to stay serious even thought other people easily know he's all your's. he doesn't talk much when it's just you and him, preferring to just sit silently across from you and listen to you. and that's what makes it obvious to others since normally he doesn't pay attention and always says his dad jokes or says something stupid

he expresses his feelings by like... yeah.... not being annoying i guess

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

hmm, he doesn't really like pda due to his job. he knows he has enemies who are after him, but most don't really know about you since they don't really look into that. however, when he's off work, he'll take you into cities and his hand in always on you, whether he's holding your hand, or his hand is planted on your hip/waist. just makes him feel better

he brags about you to all of his friends. chris hears about it nonstop while leon is drunk (and he sobs after bc the redfield bloodline.) "sure that looks nice on them but you know who would look better in it? my s/o." "oh, my s/o has that same necklace, i bought it for them in paris." (😭)

he doesn't really care after the missions. esp if he got close to death, he is all over you the second he sees you. he doesn't care who is watching or who sees, he is literally holding you as if you were dying

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

he knows whenever you are upset. doesn't even need to hear you speak. literally can just tell from your footsteps or your posture

also, he's really quiet so when you are having your moments he's able to sneak around withhout setting you off (please i get so annoyed when people are loud when i'm mad)

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

yes

he will do everything to make his s/o happy

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

it really depends on your goals. if your goal is to become famous on onlyfans (aimed) then he probably wouldn't really help cuz well why would he?

he believes in you to an extent, he's brutally honest sometimes so... yeah... if you're dumb he will tell you that you're dumb (in a nice way) but he tries his best to support you 💀

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

there's no such thing as routine with this man other than his exercise routine 

Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

he knows you better than you do. this man literally buys whatever you're craving like a week before you even ask fo it. he knows exactly what album or movie or video game you're going to beg him to buy so he already got you it

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

literally his top pirority. it goes you, his friends, him. he always puts you ahead of himself in everything and values your life sm more than his own :(

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

everytime he returns from his missions, he always comes home with your favorite snack and an expensive bouquet of your favorite flowers (if you get the expensive bouquet reference jtm)

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

yes, he is so touch starved and can cuddle all day if you let him. he kisses you a lot as well

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

he always carries a little polaroid of you snd him cuddles together on the sofa (taken before 1998 for draamtic effect) and just looks at it for a little bit

he also bought a small bottle of your fav purfume/fragrance and always takes it with him on missions, aweet boy :)

Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

this man would literally take a bullet for you !! A BULLET !!

reblogs appreciated always ♡

i'm making a ghost ver of this as well since i love him sm !! :))

#vivi writes ౨ৎ #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x y/n #leon s kennedy x you #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy headcanons #resident evil #resident evil x reader #resident evil fluff

[doyouevenshipbr0]

examples of atla live action’s attempts to be more feminist and how they actually had the opposite effect and/or hurt the integrity of the show

already talked about katara and pakku. does not make sense that she did not have a master. point blank. just because something sounds empowering (ie katara saying “yes. and ur looking at her.” after zuko asked if she found a master) doesn’t mean it automatically is. there still needs to be logic and katara “being her own master” defies logic imo im sorry!

katara in general. she has no ferocity here which to be very honest i dont think is fully the writers’ fault. some of the blame goes on them but the actress for katara just delivered alllllll of her lines w the same exact mild tone. katara is overly motherly. she is bossy. she is passionate. she is nurturing. she is emotional. THERE IS POWER IN THESE THINGS!!!!! why would we take away her spark?!?!?!

i loved live action suki. however, i LOVE the line in the original when her and sokka part ways and sokka says “i treated u like a girl when i should’ve treated u like a warrior.” and suki says “i am a warrior” *kisses sokka on the cheek* “but im a girl too.” THAT LINE WAS SO PERFECT like lemme say it again there is POWER IN FEMININITY! there is no shame in that!!!!! why does this show wanna take that away so badly. at one point live action suki says something like “im not just a warrior, im a kiyoshi warrior” and before she parts ways w sokka she thanks him for showing her some of the world or something like that. which was fine but i just love the simplicity of the original. a girl can be a warrior and have a crush. why do we have to change that?

this is a small one and it doesnt REALLY matter, but i cant help but think they changed this to be more “feminist” which is just dumb. yue isnt betrothed? well she was but she broke it off? and hahn (her ex) isnt a huge dick? i mean it wasn’t the worst thing and i didnt really mind it but i was just kinda like ?????. feel like yue being betrothed tied into her sense of responsibility and foreshadowed the sacrifices she will make for her people. so. feels rly weird that they changed it. i think it was to show more women agency which is always cool. but in the original, yue finally gets her agency by becoming the moon spirit. that should be the end of her character arc. idk. a weird change that seemed unnecessary.

sokka not being sexist. honestly i think the live action did a good job at omitting this while not REALLY making it feel like something was missing. with that being said, something was still missing lol. once again, its apart of sokka’s character. i feel like everyone has already expressed their hate for this so ill just leave it at that.

i am a TAD indifferent on the women of the northern tribe joining the forces during the fight. on one hand i cant lie i smiled bc obviously i love water bending and i love women so there was definitely apart of me that was happy to see that moment. however. it was kind of giving like in endgame when theres that random shot of all the women superheroes in one frame so the movie could have a “slay queen. we are girlbosses:)” moment. like it just felt a little empty and it wasnt the feminist battlecry they thought it was. these women have been healing their whole lives. why would they be any good on the frontlines of a fight? they never learned combat skills! HOWEVER, when we see them, its mainly just them reinforcing the walls so like. that makes enough sense. im cool w that.

i know im dwelling but as we know i hold atla in the highest regards. it does a lot of things perfectly imo. and one of the things i think it does PERFECTLY is its treatment of female characters. literally the only thing i can think of that i dont like is when team azula beats the kiyoshi warriors and ty lee says something like “u are NOT prettier than us” NDBSKSJDJ like ok that was weird. but anyways. it irritates me how the live action kind of seems to have this pov that says “the original was good, but there were some ideas and plots that were outdated so we changed them to keep with the times” like they’re fixing something that was broken if that makes sense. when in actuality, i think atla’s representation of women is perfect and timeless. it was relevant and powerful in 2005, and it is equally as relevant and powerful in 2024. there was nothing about its feminist themes that needed to be “fixed” or “updated”.

#personal #atla #avatar the last airbender #avatar #avatar the last airbender live action #avatar live action #live action avatar the last airbender #live action atla #atla live action

[wildfangz]

Lil (long) simblr gratitude day post

I wanted to make a post shouting out some of my favorite creators, storytellers, and just general simmers from over the last year, mainly focused on ts4 since that's where my attention has been the most. Long post ahead so it's going under a cut. If you're not tagged please know I did wake up late today so it's not as complete of a list as I wanted it to be!!

@adelarsims - You are an essential in my mods folder!! I love how much realism and/or character your cc adds to sims, from things like the piercing holes to the wonky glasses to the mechanic overlay... Just so many little things that I can't imagine not having in my game or on certain characters now. Speaking of characters, your sims both original and premade are always so gorgeous, and I really enjoy your interpretations of wg and jeb. & Thank you for being WCIF friendly, I know it takes time to get that info but it's so appreciated, u've help me find some very beloved pieces of CC. Also the level of dedication u have to organizing your mods folder is incredible and you've inspired me a lot to get my folder's act together finally!! Which is SUCH a QoL improvement

@bearphase - I adore the bright legacy and I admire all the little details and effort you put into your posts, like fixing clipping issues, making icons and templates for custom careers or story events, ur creativity really shines through. You've also reminded me how fun NSB can be and inspired me to get back to it and my human enough gameplay and I can't thank u for that enough, it's got me sooo excited for future simming endeavors

@daisydezem - You've been a welcome addition on my dash back since POSE, which was a fantastic first community experience for me and so much fun, & I love your gameplay & love how much work u put into rainbowsin! (I adore Venus so much btw!!) I hope you're healing well and that u have a lovely new year!!

@divinedionym - CLAIRE!!! I was SO happy to see you dipping your toes back in the community I missed you on my dash! and while I adored ur vatores and their story and ur an incredible storyteller, I'm glad you've been able to pivot into something more enjoyable for u. I hope you have lots of fun in the coming year and I can't wait to see what Aspen gets up to… or into… especially with his vampire BF. Aside from that idk if you'll ever wanna run another sims server, but I did want to give you a late shoutout and props for that bc I know from experience it can be difficult and I really loved how you ran yours! I could just be an anxious bitch but I feel like its so hard to find comfortable servers.... and esp the storytellers one was so cozy and helpful, and ur management of it was *chefs kiss* I've also really enjoyed it every time we've talked, tho I'm sorry I'm so shy 😭😭

@earthmoonz - LONG TIME MUTUAL ALERT ….. ur sims are always so gorgeous. Love the Devereauxs and... Max and Lena… WOO. I support womens and nonbinary rights. and wrongs. Wifey has been SO good and I'm pumped to see where the rest of the story goes. U have a natural talent for storytelling and I really appreciate how much care u put into your characters. Everyone read wifey today rn

@hauntedtrait - Another mutual I enjoy every time I see you on my dash!! Your Lilith is drop dead gorgeous but honestly so many of your sims are. I love ur premade makeovers and Dakota is sooo pretty I'm obsessed. I can't wait 2 see who he ends up with! :]

@horusmenhosetix - I love seeing u on my dash and every time we've talked has been so lovely!! There's been so many times you've made me want to jump back into my projects for ts2 or even go back to ts3 once I have the space to download it. I love your s2cc and god ur sims …. its been a year but I still smile whenever I think about the vatore siblings you shared jhskfdh they're so perfect its got me inspired to throw together an s4 save whenever I get my mods folder sorted. & I'm so excited to go thru ur downloads tag and fill that baby UP with ur stuff next time I work on that !!!!!!!!

@myshunosun - One of my favorite CC creators, pretty sure my folder has all of your stuff in it bc I couldn't help myself. Always impressed with the quality and I love the variety. Thank u for sharing such incredible work with us!

@nucrests - I downloaded a lot of ur cc more recently but MY BOYS!!! U'VE CLOTHED MY BOYS!!! You make such good quality content and I'm always a huge fan of those that help me give my male sims some flair and style, thank u! :')

@oshinsimblr - Long 1 incoming... While I've never been a sims 4 hater, like a lot of people I've still struggled with the gameplay aspect of this iteration, so it's been really inspiring to watch how you go about your game and immerse yourself in it, see all the care you put into your sims. I have to thank you for the videos you've made on it, like the one on how to make sims you connect to, season 1 of Lovesick where you went basically vanilla with the specific intent to show people how much you can do with imagination and what that looks like in gameplay! It's been literally game-changing for me lol and helped me to have more fun with my saves, even if they're not one of the rare few that starts out off the rails, I get more enjoyment playing it out until things do start happening outside of my control. & YOUR CC RECS!! I've downloaded so many of the mods you've recommended and I love how much they fill out the game. On the topic of Lovesick, I have not been able 2 get enough!! I'm so hooked lmao. Watching this series has really taken me back to the days when I was a teen reading like those particularly juicy drama-filled sims 3 stories you can't help but to keep clicking "next page" on, except Lovesick is so solid writing-wise. SO excited to see where Lizbeth is going in her life!!

@simandy - Your hairs have been an essential in my CAS folder for so long, and I've been so impressed with the evolution of your creations over the years. I've always liked your work but GODDAMN the quality always blows me away these days!! & I really, really adore and appreciate the variety! @squea - ANOTHER SORT OF LONG ONE BUT ... Your sims just POP!!! SO much character, and your edits and art r phenomenal. Corn is one of my favorite little digital guys I've had the pleasure of experiencing on line in all my years in the sims community reading stories and gameplay. If Cornelius has a million fans I am one of them. If Cornelius has ten fans I am one of them. If Cornelius has no fans I am no longer on the earth. If world against Cornelius, I am against the world. So on and so forth TBH you've also helped me have a lot more fun with the sims 4 talking about how you enjoy your game, and have a healthier mindset about my place in the community and connect back with the reason I made this blog in the first place, which was just to have fun and archive something I love, regardless of whether it got any attention or not! I started going MIA a bit post 2019 after really getting involved in the community, for Life Happens reasons, and naturally the lack of consistent posting for a while meant less eyes on whatever I came back to share. For a while I let that discourage me esp when a lot of effort was put into something, but after you posted about just genuinely enjoying ur game and loving what you made regardless of notes it made me realize what I was doing and helped me get back to that state of mind. Now whatever I make gets to matter simply because it matters to me, even if I post it at like 3am bc I'm so excited and no one ever sees it bc of that DHKDHKHSD. & I feel like I have u to thank for that!! U turned da lightbulb on

@thefoxburyinstitute - I could not make a gratitude post without forgetting to include the foxbury institute!! I've been messing around more with making CC the last couple of months and your blog has been so incredibly helpful, and I highly recommend everyone interested in creating or just wanting to maintenance and mend their mods folder a bit check them out!

@tricoufamily - YOUR RENDERS ARE SO GORGEOUSSS and I love your take on the Villareals. I never ran into the original story so I'm really excited tbh to see whats up ur sleeve... also I love everything you've shared about two headed lamb so far, so eerie and offputting in the best way. Also everyone read this is the fall here

@void-imp I know we just followed each other a few days ago but ur trio is SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!! I love Jab's design so much and I rlly enjoy what I've read about aleksey so far. :-)

@warwickroyals - Ok so first off your clothing is a STAPLE in my folder for my more wealthy and/or fashion-oriented sims! And as for the Warwick Legacy? One of my absolute favorite simblr stories I've read. I still remember when I started it, it was pretty late at night so I was just planning on reading a handful of posts and then picking it back up the next day. That did not happen I could not stop. Straight up stayed up the entire night bingeing all the way to the latest post (which was the Big Phillip Thing. I had to get up from my computer to pace I was having a Moment LOL) I've got some catching up to do but so far I think that's been my favorite arc. Aside from that your editing is beautiful, and I've always been a character enjoyer so I'm in love with how much thought you've put into all of yours, and the fact we get to learn so much about them. I think you do a really good job of balancing the cast and I really dig your storytelling style in general.

@whimsyalien I know u post moreso on twitter but since u ARE technically also on simblr... I just wanna say I love the polaris legacy and thank you so much for all the poses and templates you share!!!

@windbrook THANK YOU for making so many fantastic builds and for sharing your saves, it's one of my absolute favorites. Also all the original sims u post are so striking, and ur cartoon-ish makeovers were so much fun!! Loving the recent builds/world pics u shared as well, and looking forward to whatever you create whether its in sims 4 or a previous game in the series!

@yooniesim Your cc is a more recent addition to my folder but there's so many things you've made and I'm sure will make that are essentials there now, like the teeth and body hair and god that necklace set for men is a necessity, but outside of that I love a lot of the other CAS CC you make you have some of the cutest hairs and I really adore the accessories! Thank you also for speaking out on certain issues within the community.

Finally,

To My Followers: thank u all for sticking with me even as I've been a biiit flaky over the years. My healths doing a lot better tho and I have so much passion for the game and I'm so excited for what I have to share with u all next, and I hope it can brighten ur dash up a bit, pull the heartstrings when appropriate, etc!! I also have a lil milestone coming up so im planning on doing some sim requests soon as a thank you when that hits. c:

#babble #nonsims #i did NOT proofread this so apologies if theres any grammar mistakes or anything

[doukeshi-kun]

Hey! I’m not sure if this falls into the “personal questions” category, if so, feel free to ignore this ask, and I’m sorry in advance!

You don’t have to get personal and speak about yourself at all, I’ve just been very clueless lately, about whether or not I might be aromantic. I’d say I’m pretty emotional and I do love, but the how romance is portrayed, and the idea of a “typical” romantic relationship has always seemed so shallow and meaningless to me. And I get second hand embarrassment from other people’s romantic relationships irl and in the media. And I can’t really tell platonic and romantic love apart, to me, romantic love is just love paired with sexual attraction (and sometimes it’s like super cringe too.)

I do crave connection with people who are “more special” to me than just friends, but I just don’t know if I’d call that romance, and I’ve never had a crush either. What would you consider the best way to feel less confused about this feeling of mine?

i'm actually happy to talk about aroace stuff because i know i won't be able to talk about it freely irl lmao. this is a bit long!

aromantic doesn't mean you're 100% not having any sort of romantic attraction towards someone—it generally means having little to no romantic attraction. besides, there are a lot more identities fall under the aromantic umbrella like grayromantic and demiromantic. i suggest you to read more into these identites if you're feeling conflicted and having those 'jumps' in your attraction.

these are all my opinions and experiences 👇 yours might differ bcs each human is unique to their own :)

i don't really want to get too personal here... but like a few years ago, there's this person whom i really wanted to befriend and i'm only ever interested in the idea of becoming his friend. however, people around me were taking my interest as something romantic and started shipping us together into a couple. it icked me so so badly because i knew i would enjoy being his friend but not his partner. i like the thought of being friends and that was it. that is all. no romantic relationship or anything. i have no desire to do romantic things with him, i have no desire to evolve the friendship or anything, i don't even like him romantically.

for me, that was my discovery of platonic attraction. i knew i wanted to form a friendship, and that was it. nothing more. i think the biggest sign that i feel stromgly that i'm aro is that i don't remember having a crush and i don't feel the need to pursue a relationship with someone else. like once someone started to make flirty comment on me irl, i'm repulsed by it.

i honestly don't know how exactly to describe romance or romantic feelings, mainly because i only perceive romance through medias and not through myself. i become sure i don't feel romantic attraction because i know how it feels to have platonic attraction and aesthetic attraction. i just don't know how it feels to have romantic attraction because well, i don't experience that, how would i know tsksgdjsjs💀

a lot of my friends are in relationships and when i listen to their experiences of anything like that, i could not relate at all. sometimes i'm like "why and how do you guys feel that way" or like "do you HAVE to be in a relationship with them? is it even necessary? is there any difference between being their friends and partner?"

there are more varieties of relationships that could be formed with someone whom you regard as "more special". romantic relationship isn't the only relationship —there are queerplatonic relationship as well. for me, relationship is basically having your intimate needs to be met lol

i really understand the confusion and the feeling of alienation when facing a romantic relationship irl. we're stuck in a world where everyone is into someone and someone is into everyone. the best way that i could think of to deal with this confusion is for you to figure out what kind of attraction you're feeling towards someone you happen to be interested with, be it for any reason really—because at least you can be certain about how some attractions feel like.

#道化師-says❃ུ۪ #aromantic #i don't like the color green why the flag is green uhuhu

[yourbittertarottruth]

honestly i agree about going for money in life cause rich ppl get to do so much but us average folk are like too average to have a lavish lifestyle as theirs. heck id even do music if i had any talent not just for money but the things these groups get to do nowadays versus what life was like before social media came about is a huge difference. sometimes its just a matter of being either too old or not young enough to do something like that nowadays as most music groups seem to sadly be getting younger and younger, i also feel like for those who have actual talent honestly id just go for it but theres always smth like age or different circumatances or perhaps not getting the right opportunities either or being somewhat limited in options. i do think life gets to a point where theres fewer options the older you are as its best to learn from a young age in order to succeed and gain that money. idk these are just my opinions you can disagree if you want.

so many folk fretting about fs and whatnot when they really never tried being single like theres not much responsibility besides whoever else is in your life and again honestly i do not think it matters if we do or dont date an fs. i think people were fretting about jungkooks fs so much lately bc they didnt want to be single or wanted jk for themselves and even if idols do date it would never make their fans happy for their idols which is sad

the fact its even called a dating scandal in korea shows how narrow minded it still is like what do people expect idols to be doing? dating rocks? no one? but i also think there would be some uproar regardless bc of who they are or their title as idols. like they can date a normal non idol but their fans still going to be upset that it isnt themselves. ahh well they cant win :( hence why in a way im glad im not an idols fs lol thered still be many cons or in general consequences. i do think idols are a bit more open minded in terms of other cultures and what they might want in their fs but their fans should accept its just never going to be them

sorry for my rambling and sorry for your loss too hope u feel better soon <3 ^^

Hello! So, I don't remember when I said "going for rich people is a good plan" or whatever but I mean there's points to both sides. To accumulate that wealth you need to be willing to put the hard work in, even if you marry into it. If you're a child of a wealthy family, you need to put in the work to maintain that wealth and legacy. It's a chain of hard work - I personally think you can do anything whether you're old, young, etc. It's just a matter of your mindset and how much work you're willing to put in! These days, it's mainly more about the connections you have and the hard work you put in. Social media can make you famous/popular, but it cannot single-handedly generate millions unless your life goal is to be an influencer doing TikTok dances 5 times a day for a living. I think learning certain skills (e.g. budgeting) are important and can help you establish that wealth earlier on, but you can always teach yourself. I have no prior experience owning a business, but the skills I learned throughout daily tasks over the course of my life have helped me to reach a point where an idea is starting to blossom into an actual product. And I agree, being single gives you more time to work on yourself to allow people to enter your life without the situation feeling forced. You get to become more comfortable with yourself, you make life-long connections/friendships, you develop hobbies, stories to tell your future friends, etc. It's a time to establish yourself and experience personal growth when you're single, not stress over finding a new relationship!! I think each relationship, friendship, etc brings a life lesson alongside it - so it doesn't matter whether that person is the person you intend to marry or not. Just enjoy the present without panicking about the future, that's the best advice I can think to tell everyone as well as my past self <33 It is quite sad, a lot of idols seem lonely. Jackson Wang is a prime example of this, he's expressed this loneliness a lot. Idols have the right to be happy without their "fans" criticising them for wanting a future where they have a family or just aren't dancing on stage anymore. That is quite narrow-minded, I think it'd be better if netizens and delusional international fans took a break from Kpop content for a month and got some hobbies, worked on themselves and enjoyed life for a bit. To an extent, I do pity some idols FS that I read for. They seem very closed off/introverted and would not do well if the relationship were to get leaked to the media, especially if their information is also leaked and they are a non-idol. I just hope they will be alright and fans will be more accepting sooner or later ! Idols ideal types may not always be the kind of people they'll marry - but they do definitely know what they like in a person. Fans do need to accept that the most likely case is that it is not them! However, the industry thrives off of parasocial relationships. It's fine, no worries! This discussion has certainly been interesting, feel free to respond to this via another ask if you would like to. And thank you so much :] <3

#tarot #kpop #kpop tarot #pagan witch #future spouse #bts #freyreplies #bts army #bangtan #bts jungkook #jungkook fs #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts jeon jungkook #tarot future spouse #love tarot reading #tarot readings

[danphantom]

oh hey i wanna talk abt smth thats been on my mind both lately and on and off for a while in general. sorry this ended up being a hella long post lol. but i have a lot to say

so...for context, ive been in the phandom for 10 years--since 2014--though it has admittedly been on and off in terms of engagement from me. in 2017 i got into dragon ball and all but dropped danny phantom completely with a few small drawings here and there. it was only like..within the past week that i actually got back into the phandom legitimately again, actively making art and posts about it and engaging with the source material and etc

anyway, i was obsessed with dp from 2014-late 2017 (until i got into dbz). i made lots and lots of fanart, played the gba games like all the damn time (i got to where i could speedrun tue lol), rewatched the show regularly...i was even one of those fans that bought obscure merch and learned useless trivia that ive since forgotten. in 2015 a lot of you may remember that i made @doppelgangercomic, a comic about an au i had where dan got a redemption arc (albeit a bumpy one) and future vlad was there and stuff happened (go read the comic LOL). it got a LOT of love and traction! it made me really happy to see all the positivity around my work like that :) i actually got a lot of positive responses towards my work in general. i had a really great time in the phandom back then

then i changed fandoms and kinda fell out of the phandom space. after being on a hiatus from the phandom until literally a week ago, i honestly have to say ive felt like i kind of...faded into obscurity in the phandom's eyes? basically i feel like old news. people dont generally know what doppelganger is now. they may have seen my art in passing here and there but they dont know who i am anymore. i think the only place people actively still find my old danny phantom art from when i was heavily active is...deviantart lol. i get notifications from favorites literally every day there. but uh anyway--im not saying this to garner pity or tell a sob story or anything! im just expressing some thoughts and feelings ive had for a long time lol.

the reason i bring this ^ up though, is because like...i know its not true? logically, i know that i DID make an impact in the fandom i loved/love so so much. i left my mark on both the fandom in an artistic sense, and also the people in the fandom, and sometimes i forget that because i get significantly less engagement on my posts than i used to. but i know that doesnt mean that people dont like my stuff anymore, or that ive been forgotten.

i actually got a message from someone today--a friend i made kinda recently who approached me bc they liked doppelganger actually. they told me that basically its surreal to them that theyre talking to me as a friend because they remember reading doppelganger when they were younger and looking up to me because of it. and it really reminded me of what i said previously--ive not been forgotten, and people still do appreciate and love what ive put out into the world (specifically about danny phantom in this case). ive made an impact on people's lives even when i dont realize it or see it physically. the message and sentiment made me feel really really good and nice and happy and honestly relieved, because the phandom and danny phantom as a media has been an extremely important and impactful part of my life ever since i got into it ten years ago. i literally changed my name to dan because of it lol. it was the reason i found stephen silver's work and went down that path of my art journey. its the reason i found so many amazing people and friends and artists and continue to do that even now. i owe a lot to danny phantom and the phandom as a whole, and i try to give back in the only ways i know how--mainly thru showing my passion through my art and posts.

anyway erm. yeah. all of this to say i wanted to thank yall--the phandom--for supporting me all this time, whether youve been with me from the beginning or if youre just joining me recently. youve been an absolute delight in my life and i know youll continue to be for a long time. :)

#this post sounds like im leaving the phandom i promise thats not what this is LOL #im just bein a little sentimental is all..wah

[joshhere911]

First, i want to apologize in advance for bad grammar and long paragraphs . I am not a writer, but instead a rambler at heart <3 some of this is just me straight up screaming LMAO

ALSO SPOILERS FOR THE EXTRA STORY OF PSYCHICS 1 N 2

I will not really be talking about the anime , since the anime covers most of the manga but is really quick and cuts some scenes (that i honestly thought were the funniest but it may be that i havent seen em before thst makes it funny) so i will peimarily be using the manga and novels (Extra Story of Psychics 1 and 2) as references .

Its in total agreement that saiki is a toootal tsundere, or at least i prefer kuudere for him (tsunderes are often aggressive or soft and generally alternating, whereas kuuderes are cynical and appear emotionless but of course have a soft side . Its just behavior difference but still makes a difference jn my heart <3) and of course what with it being confirmed By him in the manga its like Duh. But we dont necessarily see his soft side ? Bc of course we know his 'soft side' is generally sheep herding his friends and caring for their well being, but he doesnt explicitly like ,, say it . And im not counting what he said at the volcano and also i sort of rely on words so having a BOOK of words that i can grab at and string along to my brain is SO good for me honestly dude i love the books so unibelievebly much

Of course, like in any good saiki media the first chapters are generally getting caught up in his friends shenanigans. I was so delighted to note that it was all in perspective of saiki himself ! The first pov!! I usually dont like the first perspective , but in novels its more expected and also its saiki! (Im insane) anyways , we cant really rely on saiki as an output of his emotions to the reader bc hes an unreliable narrator, he doesn't necessarily speak out his emotions or show them that much .

Anyways, besties being besties !! Saiki quite literally follows his friends around . Everywhere . It still amuses me that even though he can just Teleport away when theyre not looking and they wouldnt find it super suspicious (hes done it before in the manga im like 80% sure) he still hangs out with them and now , in the last chapter of the first novel, we know why !! He usually says its an obligation or a social thing in a typical tsundere fashion , but in the last chapter he feels . Sad . THAT SHIT CAUGHT ME SO OFF GAURD . In this chapter , he stays home due to a premonition of his house being on fire . He takes a nap and wakes up to see kaidou and nendou hanging in his room, saying that Saikis mom let them in while she went out . They ask if hes sick and then go cook ramen for him , and he uses clairvoyance to make sure they dont set his kitchen and then his house on fire (being paranoid after the premonition, and end up caring for his friends safety) and afterwards he ends up esting their ramen and tries to send them home . He ends up getting another premonition in thst moment (doesnt explicitely say it to the readers yet), has seconds of the ramen (bc it wasnt bad) and then his friends go home, stepping on a cigarette bud that would have started the fire.

One thing that gets me when i read this chapter is that after the second premonition, he could have still sent them home ! He now knew the cause (that he now revealed) and he couldve nipped the cigarette himself but instead he lets fate do what it does best and they leave later and step on the cigarette then . Its so interesting ! And !!! Right after that, he claims he felt empty, that his room felt larger and more quiet . Of course, in his typical fashion he tries to reassure himself thst this is what he Wanted, and that he should feel happy that he could have peace and (mainly) quiet in his house now but he just . Doesnt . He says he feels lonely . And he explains thst in elementary and middle school he never had people check up on him at home, and thus he preferred the quiet. He is literally defending himself against his OWN FEELINGS . Oh my GOD that shit made me want to CRY . I feel mang emotions a lot of the time and THAT ? THAT WHOLE SEGMENT AT THE BOTTOM OF WHAT FEELS LIKE A BOTTOMLESS PIT OF LONELINESS WHEN YOUR FRIENDS LEAVE ? THAT MADE ME WANT TO CRY!! And even !! At the end, he says "I start reading a manga in my quiet room." OH MY GOD NO FUCKIN WAY .... first , he reiterates that his room is quiet ! Second, he says he starts reading a manga and considering that nendou had bought a manga for him and then gave him said manga when he first woke up, i like to think that he started reading the manga that nendou gave him !! This is SO important to me because hes being VULNERABLE !! In the manga, He never really expresses negative emotions towards the thought of his friends leaving, infact many a time he tries to play it off as a relief (he sucks at playing it off though) , so the fact that hes being OPEN about his feelings to readers about these emotions of a sort of lasting and lingering and Yearning and the fact that its Most Likely (im unsure but for now i will say that it IS) canon!! Hes so silly !!! My silly little guy! He literally says his friends are destined to be there with him!! Thats crazy!! And he proves it in the next volume !

Moving onto the next book :D first , i want to address toritsuka . Though he is fucking crazy , its important to note that saiki Still cares for him !! In the book, first chapter in pov of toritsuka, reita says that saiki looks at him with pity several times and even in saikis pov at the end he feels bad that toritsukas luck is so shit bc his gaurdian spirit(nendous dad) is never around, and even debates talking to the guy . He feels genuine pity for toritsuka , so i cant say saiki is cruel or a distrustful guy bc LOOK AT HIM!! Caring for his buddies !! Even the less honourable and more crazy ones !!! :DD

Back on topic with saiki n his friends! The last 3(or 2 n a half??) chapters are all for one arc !! THE MOST SILLY ARC ! You have probably read it and i dont want to repeat summaries of chapters if yall have, so ill spare yall the big picture!! The chapter thst makes me want to swoon so Badly is the interlude, where saiki is under the spell thing of the parallel! Saiki Kusuo, so hes supposed to be in a dream . In this dream, he is at a festival . No powers . No limiters . He doesnt even know Why he is think of powers or limiters . He thinks hes starting to have 8th grade syndrome . The FIRST person that his subconscious places into his mind to talk to him first was NENDOU! He doesnt know anyone at this festival, all he knows is that this random guy with his face blurred and black out recognized him and is dragging him to a nice hideout . And he lets him !!! Without realizing, in all his thinking, his body moves by itsef, similarly to the chapter "eat all you can!" In the first novel, he just follows and doesn't necessarily register his total surroundings (trusting his body to whoever is guiding him - he can easily fend off anyone that Tries to attack, but right now he is subdued and right now he is a sheep until he becomes a wolf) and he just thinks ! Eventually, nendou leads them to a place to watch the fireworks and is SO genuine with saiki that saiki cant help hut realize just who is leading him, who he trusts the most with his subconcious and honesltly probably dissociating body is Nendou, and he says to Us (or namely to himself but yk) that the person that will Always be there for him, esper or not, real or a dream, is Nendou.

FUCK. i FUCKING LOVE THEM . Especially considering that he had teleported to a parallel universe where Nendou didnt go to PK academy, it brings so much emotion to me knowing saiki truly believes thst he and nendou are like . A destined thing . This could be taken romantically or platonically . i dont think it matters that much, although its probably meant to be taken platonically. its so much more meaningful thst Nendou has changed the course of action in his life because he was just being Himself to Saiki, because no matter what in Every universe (namely the only two parallel universes that he has been to) Nendou has attatched himself to Saikis side and isnt really meant to let go . The only reason why this parallel universe is like the worst ever is Because the Saiki Kusuo in this universe gets Rid of nendou, and then all goes downhill. Our saiki originally thought it was a good idea(in the way that he actually was concerned on where nendou was the ENTIRE time he was in class) before he realized just how shit it is without the power of Friendship . AHHHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH !!! This is what caused me to keep thinking of saiki and nendou, intimately familiar with each other and stuck with each other until the end of days, because saikis omnipresence is all for naught without nendous stupidity . In the last chapter, Saiki even says that a life Without nendo is one he doesnt prefer to be in . Saiki is on the Right track, the Most correct pathway ever , from saving the dog in chapter 1 and indulging in his friends antics in every media ever, he is Correct .

The moral of the story is now my head is exploding st the seams with need for more nendou and saiki twinning . I need more saiki listening to his friends, seemingly uncaring but then reciting their stories or giving them gifts based on what they ramble on unknowingly to him . I Need more nendou not really getting social cues, but understanding his Pals uncomfort in certain situations . I need them to be Best Friends . Twinning . Sillies !! I miss them so much and i just i just 💥 im really losing it i love saiki and his friends interacting , he Knows that he Cares and protects Them, but he is like almost Clueless that they love him back and he most definitely doesnt realize or believe he doesnt need Their protection (AND THEN NENDOU COMES ALONG AND JUST . OBLITERATES HIS WORLD VIEW(LAST CHAPTER IN MANGA))

New challenge !!! Take a shot everytime saiki says "my name is saiki kusuo, and i am an esper(psychic)/i have psychic powers(esp)" <3

#saiki k #kusuo saiki #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki and his friends #saiki no psi nan #saiki #nendou riki #nendou saiki k #shun kaidou #rambles #friendship #i actually went insane writing most of this LMAOO #this is not the first long rant ive done about a special interest of mine and it wont be the last #i love saiki and his friends #they need to hug more #dont read all of it if you dont want to my bad it gets more incoherent as you go along

[pegasister60]

Hey Peg! 👋

Hope you've been doing alright this month. Sooo, I got this sudden urge to doodle yesterday, and I wanted to try my hand at making an original shirt design for Chai in Hi-Fi Rush. And (predictably) the first prompt that came to mind was your AU, lol. So here's my take on an alternate shirt design for Security!Chai:

Titled: "Security's Super Star"

Base Design

"Spotlight" (variant)

I can't believe I made this on a whim, lol (do I actually have some semblance of skill after all?!). Some fun little notes:

Since he normally wears a lot of cool colors (with the exception of his shoes) as an inversion of his original design, I tried to stick to a palette that mainly consisted of varying shades of blue and purple (while trying not to blend in with his scarf much)

The stripe pattern in the lighting bolt is meant to be reminiscent of his electronic, battery themed shirt (which felt necessary, since that symbolism is technically part of his brand in-universe). Though I'm not sure if it gives off the same vibe, lol.

The Vandelay "V" acts as the center piece, and serves as the lightning's "impact" effect.

The star as a whole is meant to vaguely look like it's on some sort of stage (with "light" illuminating from behind, and the start of it's "shadow" being cast near the bottom).

I decided to fill out the remaining parts of the star with a circuit board pattern, just as another reference to his primary job. Honestly, I think the duality between being a security enforcer and a high profile stage performer is something that could spawn a really unique looking character design in general. Like just as an art prompt, it'd be an interesting challenge such radically different professions through a single outfit.

Anywho, I gotta get to sleep now, but I hope this was able to brighten your day somewhat 🙏

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

IM NEVER GOING TO SHUT UP ABOUT THIS ITS SO COOOOOOOLL

You’re so fucking good at art holy shit. I’m screaming I’m shouting I’m overjoyed!!! I’m so happy rn this has made my day. Joy!!

I also appreciate getting to see your thoughts bc they make me appreciate it more. This is so clever and visually appealing and it looks so nice. You did an amazing job!! Task fulfilled successfully!! I’m running out of words to use to express joy but I’m not just gonna scream on main.

Thank you for making all this cool stuff based on the words I put out. I care them lots and they make me happy and I hope you have a good day!! You’re very skilled and it shows holy shit—

#and then I kept screaming for hours #you popped off #i speak #i reply #security!chai au #hi fi rush #hi-fi rush #the spotlight variant *fucks*

[bunniclawz]

moreee stuff ab mine and @/cyberniix’s smile for me au bc i’ve been getting some questions lately and wanted an excuse to ramble ab it >:33c

smile for me alternate universe under the cut! do be aware this is prob gonna be spoilers ab the good ending/general game

(art is nicki in an outfit without their chest binder/it’s kind of similar to what i imagine they’d wear as pajamas. the song reference is nobody’s hippie by kimya dawson. :3c)

first answering some questions ab their habitician quest line, asked by @everyday-is-brighter-with-you :3c I think i’ve already discussed it in a comment thread, but i figured i’d expand on it here!! anyhow, i imagine their quest line for making nicki happy would be something to do with the magnet/treasure finder thingie obtained from the guy in the carnival (IM SORRY i never remember his name, i just always call him like. “that broccoli guy” or some shit), and having to do with digging something up. I mainly mention that bc in my head, nicki is like… relatively humanoid?? but then has doglike qualities. Anyhow, either something like that, or something sort of like millie’s quest ab turning the pipe handle to hit stuff. I figure it would be something like that, but with tuning a guitar, with optional dialogue after fixing it/making them happy. (sort of like when after cheering trevor up, he offers to tell you extra stuff.)

aside from that, i figured i’d also mention some of their character relationships bc i find it interesting :3c. I feel like nicki and trevor would be friends, i think i mentioned that once before, but i could also see them getting along with. like. kamal. To an extent, anyway. i think kamal likes their guitar skills, but they’re a bit too excitable for his taste. Also their giant crooked dog teeth horrify him. (/halfjoke but fr this guy probably flosses his teeth after every meal can we be real). Also, i think they’d try to be friendly to Nat, but i don’t know if they’d get along…same with trencil, though. Mainly bc they associate nicki with being a werewolf despite them being just a huge dog. Honestly, nicki probably acts like a dog in a lot of ways. They walk around on two legs, and talk and all, but i totally feel like nicki could be more than tempted by a game of catch or frisbee. honestly, i also think them and trevor would run around chasing one another or pretending to howl.. i honestly think they both believe in the whole werewolf thing, and are both so convinced they’re actual werewolves. That, and i can totally see nicki chasing their own tail enjoying sitting on the terrace watching the rain, or sitting in the lounge with parsley and… attempting to eat whatever jimothan’s daily special is.

anyway, that’s all my rambling for now, but pleaseee fee free to ask questions/send asks ab nicki or some of the canon characters, bc @/cyberniix and i have so many thoughts and headcanons ab them lmao!! :3c and a big thank you for all the love for our silly s4m au!! everyone is so sweet wahh

#my art #nikki rambles #s4m #smile for me #smile for me game #self insert #headcanons #furry #furry oc

[catboii]

((just a "little" (ha) update I guess, nothing major, just a note that I'm sorry if I post alot this week with seemingly no regard for my/my muse's vast presence on the dash, or if I end up writing alot of short weird drabbles to vent.... if there's questionable stuff it'll be tagged like always <3

I understand if you need to unfollow me to keep your dash clear for other people if you're mobile etc. or if you need to blacklist my muse's url for a bit if it's overwhelming

After xmas everything may have settled and if you wanna refollow then I'd welcome you back and wouldn't ask any questions. your comfort (whatever that may classify as in the context) is my utmost priority!

normally I try not to clutter, and I try to keep general post reblogs minimal and just queue most of them. I'm just... not doing too good rn

then again it's a 50/50 that I'll be posting nothing at all, just making my muse's presence known if it wants to sorta wave at someone from the depths of my brain hell jail.

I'll still be checking in around xmas stuff bc this muse gives me v happy bubbly vibes whenever I write it and that's honestly what I need rn.

I'm sorry if your muse reblogs/replies to one of mine's posts or smth and I seemingly glance over it. I genuinely just didn't see it. I always try and respond to stuff, or if it doesn't know how to reply I at least acknowledge that my muse saw it by liking it. but I might not have the mental capacity to actually keep up w stuff

...

BASICALLY I'm either gonna be kinda quiet or rly hyperfixated on not being in my own head for the next week or so.

I'm obv stressed anyway bc I need to do xmas shopping still and it's a struggle bc online it probs won't come in time. we're going "late night shopping" on thursday though so hopefully we can get a bunch of stuff then

but mainly an old work friend of mine passed away today. He's been unwell for a few years, and I dunno if he knew what it was and was just keeping it quiet, or if they genuinely couldn't work it out. last I heard he was getting MRIs.

I had a complicated relationship w him (positive) bc he was either bipolar or had BPD like me (although he wasn't diagnosed with either, but it was obvious he at least had bipolar), and if you know anything abt BPD you know what an FP (favourite person) is, and we were sort of each other's when we were working together? I think. like I say he wasn't diagnosed, but it felt like that. we hit it off really quick and were both really comfortable with each other, and he was just the sweetest most supportive person. he was one of my FPs, which basically means my brain was cursed to be in intense friendlove with him. He would tell me that he loved me and appreciated my friendship, was always saying you need to tell people you love them, however you can, however you mean it, because you don't know if you'll ever get to tell them again

he always showed off the little things I made him and made sure everyone knew exactly where he got the silly little origami animals on his desk, or who made his juggling balls that were his favourite thing in the whole world bc I made them for him by hand, and picked the fabric out specifically for him.

One time around xmas, bc of covid, we had these big plastic screen dividers between our desks and I used posca paint pens to draw him a HUGE Robin in a scarf and santa hat (his name was Robin and people always got him little Robin themed things, he loved them) on the one by his manager desk, like a name tag, but Facilities told him he needed to clean it off and chastised him thinking he did it, and you're "not supposed to vandalise work equipment" even though they're literally washable and it was xmas. we were sticking decorations everywhere, how is it any different? but he played along but he was really mad. He didn;t wanna say it was me that did it, because he thought I might've gotten in trouble, but he also wanted to argue that I'd put alot of work into it. I hadn't put that much in, it was just for fun and I liked drawing it, and he got to see it! That was the important part. and I said so. but I cleaned it off and drew him a new Robin on a piece of paper and he kept it at his desk like a retired picket sign, and told the story to anyone who would be polite enough to listen

mostly though, he gendered me correctly (and he was in his 60s so being so passionate abt they/them pronouns was just really sweet, though he was clearly bi but still in the closet, so it was maybe a little projection, in a way, or just straight up quiet queer solidarity), and literally agressively made sure everyone else did too, when he realised I'd been just letting people at work use whatever pronouns, he got really proactive and made sure all my paperwork was marked as "them" officially (with my permission). if anyone misgenered me he would get visably annoyed or disgusted, and there were a couple people who "forgot" (every time) and he actually got angry at them about it and reported them for harassment, which might've been a little extreme, but I honestly felt so validated, and I'm tearing up thinking about it. I don't think anyone's ever fought that hard in my corner, especially after only knowing me for, at that point, less than a year.

We worked together in a couple different parts of the business for a couple years, until some stuff happened that I shouldn't say bc I need my rp blog(s) to stay far away from my professional life, but we were gonna be working together doing something else, but it wasn't his thing, it was stressful and there were other reasons, but he just lost it and walked out.

we had a little joke when we were training before he left, he had this soft toy robin that he let me borrow because I was really anxious, and I gave it a little notepad and pencil and wrote something silly on it for when he got it back each time. usually some out of context joke on what we learned that day, so we could both laugh about it. but when he left I still had it, and I messaged him saying I would get it back to him sometime, but he said to keep it to remind me of him.

I put it away to keep it safe, but I'm gonna have to go and find it, because it's one of the only physical things I have left of him.

#ooc post. #.vat file #rl illness ment- #rl death ment- #readmore. #I think I'm ok for now. I'm sorry about the stuff mentioned at the top but I'm not sorry this post is so long. for once. #you don't have to read it. but if you do? then hey. thanks. we're besties now. #I had a little rant about him and it's cathartic but I'm trying not to break down tbh #I think just expressing how much I loved him helps. he was just. so pure and wholesome in reality. #always showing how much he appreciated people...

[natsmagi]

I love ur art!!!! really its so gorgeous and the style brings me sm joy, its so soft and cute!! and ofc fem ntsmg is THE GOAT!!!!!!

BUT I JUST WANNA ALSO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR HOW U ANSWER ASKS AND STUFF AND IDK JUST UR WHOLE PERSONALITY IN GENERAL?? I love reading ur text posts especially when u kinda analyze the characters and stuff like its so fun to read and tbh, both natsume and tsumugi are characters that I feel are often mischaracterized in the fandom, and like idk I feel like u get them so perfectly and its sooo !??!?! Awesome getting to read ur awesome takes when new events come out and stuff like YOURE SO RIGHT ABT EVERYTHING, i be reading ur posts and going "you!!! YOU FUCKING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!" *happy stimming*

if you honestly did like a proper character analysis for them one day just now i would be so here for it and read it over and over again probably. Im currently hyperfixating RLY HARD on ntsmg so sometimes i just go through ur entire text post/ask tag and read everything over and over again 😭😭😭 I JUST LOVE THIS BLOG IN GENERAL KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING, YOURE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME AND VERY MUCH BASED USER NATSMAGI!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️

OIUGOHGOOHH OH MY GODDDDD ANONNNNNNNN THIS IS SO SWEET I HARDLY EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME 🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

im a very chatty person so im very glad u like hearing what i have to say 🥺!!! and im glad u like my personality too since i feel i can come off as harsh or arrogant sometimes AKJHFSKJH THOUGH TBF I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE KIND......

ID LOOOVE TO ANALYZE NTMG MORE !!! main reason i dont do it as often or hold myself back a bit is because admittedly its been a While since i read alot of the stories, a majority of which i have only read once, and when i make actually Proper analyzes i like to have reread the material and see if i maybe misinterpreted something on my first read or am misremembering, bc when given new info other interactions can be read differently and all that. and i also wanna actually do them justice and not accidentally spread misinfo AJHSFKJH AND I UNFORTUNATELY HAVENT HAD THE TIME NOR ENERGY TO DO THIS </3 but even without remembering every single piece of dialogue verbatim i like to think my grasp on them is still somewhat decent, and im very glad u like my interpretations 🥺❤️

it always makes me so incredibly happy when people view the characters similarly to me aswell bc like u mentioned they Are kinda prone to getting mischaracterized in some ways...... i think it mainly comes from both natsume and tsumugi having MANY factors to their characters though, and the mischaracterization comes from only highlighting one aspect of them and failing to think about how their different attributes overlap (although this can probably be said for the entire cast tbh). like an easy example that im sure everyone gets by now is natsumes little tsundereisms. if you only focus on him being rude to tsumugi it can look like hes just some edgy guy with anger management issues, but when you take into account other factors such as him having a rather spoiled upbringing both by his parents and nii-sans, and his distaste towards feeling "weak" (also caused by his upbringing, since he was frail as a child and raised as a girl) you start to see that oh. alot of that is just him being defensive and emotionally immature. since he had such a comfortable upbringing those hints of discomfort and vulnerability are threatening to him as someone who always had everything handed to him. and when you dont know how to deal with situations like that ASWELL as being afraid of being seen as "weak" youre Gonna start resorting to harsher words and sometimes even get physical because you have no clue how else to handle this. its also why the natsumes character consists of him being pretty obsessed with "growing up" and "not being a kid anymore," because he knows how immature he could be SKHDGJH he doesnt have bad intentions he just. doesnt know how to be vulnerable with people

#IM VERY GLAD U LIKE MY THOUGHTS SO MUCH AWAWA #THESE LIL GUYS MEAN THE WORLD TO ME SO IT ALWAYS MAKES ME VERY HAPPY WHEN I GET TO TALK ABOUT THEM WITH PEOPLE........... #❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #ask

[goodfully]

okay ive never used tumblr before so i dont really know how posts are typically formatted, however, i do just want to use this mainly to word vomit so! jumbled messy thoughts on brothers karamazov, books five and six:

ive only read up until here so far, but im pretty sure that this is my favorite part of the entire book. the contrast is so insane, i adore dostoevsky. book five was so dense with heavy cynicism and doubt and followed book six being so reassuring and calm. part of me wishes that i was able to read both parts immediately after the other hahaha i also think that anyone that wants to read the brothers karamazov but does not want to read the brick of a book it is, they should read books five and six! just the chapters focused on ivans and zosimas perspective of faith, i mean.

i think that the idea that “the world is so evil, there is no way a benevolent god could have created it” is probably one of the main reasons ive been so unwilling to believe that there is a god, and its one of the main things that ivan was explaining to alyosha in book five. its so hard to accept that any amount of suffering is going to be worth whatever this all is. and yet… my goodness. humanity needs god? whether it is god that created humankind or humankind inventing god out of necessity… and just like ivan, i think ive always believed that believing in god would heal me somehow, that ill finally understand how to be alive as a human being when i do... the need to know what it was all for!

also the sticky little leaves part that ivan said!!! “i want to live, and i do live, even if it be against logic, tho i do not believe in the order of things, still the sticky little leaves that come out in the spring are dear to me, the blue sky is dear to me, whom one loves sometimes, would you believe it, without even knowing why” real real real. and ahh, alyosha responded something like how you can only understand lifes meaning after you love life (before logic)… which makes sense but yk, i always thought it was the opposite, that i had to understand lifes meaning in order to love life and be happy, but it was a very hopeless and sad conclusion. so this made me feel better honestly.

agh… and the whole “grand inquisitor” poem was so dark and insane, it tore me to shreds. i actually dont know what to say, except maybe now i understand why its the most famous chapter in the book.

i adore ivan and i adore alyosha and i adore their relationship. the way they speak to each other with love and respect for the other, even tho they believe in totally opposite things. im not sure about alyosha bc ivan was doing most of the talking, but my impression is that they were searching for answers from the other, they really do love each other. “tho im terribly fond of one russian boy named alyosha” sobs. “i thought, brother, that when i left here id have you, at least, in all the world” cries. “so alyosha, if indeed i hold out for the sticky little leaves, i shall love them only remembering you. its enough for me that you are here somewhere, and i shall not stop wanting to live. is that enough for you? if you wish, you can take it as a declaration of love” weeps.

okay about the zosima chapters… the thing is that even tho i have a lot of thoughts and feelings regarding faith, i am not a religious person, so i do wonder how someone who is christian would feel reading this book. for me tho… reading these chapters somehow made me feel the closest to having faith in anything ever hahaha… i dont think i care more about “gods truth” or anything, but just… i think ive been isolating myself way too much and thinking that everything must be done and figure out how to experience the fullness of life by me alone. and then zosima hits me with a “everywhere now the human mind has begun laughably not to understand that a mans true security lies not in his own solitary effort, but in the general wholeness of humanity.” and i believe that, i do! esp with how much individualism and capitalism stinks up this place. but i forget when it comes to myself i think…

i think my favorite sections from the zosima chapters are the ones about praying, loving, and judging others. uhm i dont pray, altho i think its mainly due to the fact that i do not know how to pray, and its not like zosima explains what praying is like exactly… but his words make me think that its just a very personal thing..? ahh anyway, the lines about love love love. “love man also in his sin, for this likeness of gods love is the height of love on earth” and “if you love each thing, you will perceive the mystery of god in things. once you have perceived it, you will begin tirelessly to perceive more and more of it every day. and you will come at last to love the whole world with an entire, universal love”… lives in my mind constantly now, its crazy its crazy i dont understand why his words mean so much to me. dostoevsky gets me, he really does.

ofc theres so many good lines from zosima, and this one probably isnt that great of a line compared to the many others, but to me at least, i started crying here hahaha it was pretty much at the very end of book six: “but woe to those who have destroyed themselves on earth, woe to the suicides! i think there can be no one unhappier than they. we are told that it is a sin to pray to god for them, and outwardly the church rejects them, as it were, but in the secret of my soul i think that one may pray for them as well. christ will not be angered by love. within myself, all my life, i have prayed for them, i confess it to you, fathers and teachers, and still pray every day.” ahh!!! im not even religious, and tbh ive not felt much when someone tells me they have prayed for me, but… maybe its bc i hate how mentally ill i am and hate how much i self sabotage and destroy myself, but some fictional monastery elder saying that he prays for and loves someone like me??? i cried real tears.

im probably being very dramatic, but after reading the zosima chapters esp towards the end of book six, i felt… so much love? i felt so loved. and yet also somehow guilt for not loving the world enough and not believing in mankind enough. i have to accept the world and of humanity and of myself, and i must love, oh how i must always love! zosimas such unconditional and undifferentiated love is so important to me, i dont know what to do… i think that reading this book has done more for me (regarding faith in the world and everything) than anything else has hahaha. it feels so silly bc im not even halfway done with the book yet and i already feel that this is the most important book ive ever read. its also funny bc you read the little paragraph on the back of the book and the first sentence describing the book is that this is a murder mystery (the actual murder hasnt even happened yet!) hahaha i love this book truly truly.

#reading #the brothers karamazov

[menalez]

Hello! Can you suggest to read anything (article or books) on comphet? Long story, I slept with men, but I didn't ever felt attraction to them. I spend nearly decade 'fixing' myself, bc my first ever experience was sexual assault and then another and grooming. And then men I tried to date dropped me like hot potato telling everyone I'm frigid, which made me ashamed. They treated me like I am defected, hinting I am mentally ill. For not acting like what women in porn act at damn age of 16 bc from watching porn they insisted they know on women biology! I did not have any sex-ed anywhere so I legit knew nothing on my own biology. I did not know I am not experiencing sexual attraction bc I did not know how it works! Just these men telling me I'm not like other women. Not passionate. Women just so happy insisted I am frigid bc of the assault trauma, but I can train myself with practice. And that it's natural state to date men and my mental health issues would heal etc. Include some threats of godly punishments. I had more horrible exp, and I only now begin to realize that while yes majority of my exp were forced and later brain repeating trauma in hopes to fix it with repeating, it was also traumatic bc I can't feel a shred of attraction to men. I was madly trying to date at least any men with 'oh maybe I will not be revolted with him, or with him, or with him, bc I need to fix myself!!! I can't live being that way!' Like, honestly, mostly anything beyond a chaste kiss on the lips revolted me, but I kept making myself endure it over and over in hopes that I will 'get used to it'. Bc I was told how I react is abnormal. I froze 99% of time and could not tell 'no' or 'stop'. I was terrified when I felt that revolt first time from a kiss with guy, bc I was expecting first kiss as the dream exp, but first one was assault from drunk adult on my 15yo self, and then second was willing, but revolt I felt was extreme!! But all media and culture told me it would be the most magical exp! And everyone around acted that way too! My life was crushed and I had no idea how to live with it. And I did not tell anyone for years, being ashamed of my 'defect', just obsessively fixing it. And when I did told, women my age or older told me it will be ok once I meet the right guy/ I can just get used to it. My health, life, education, everything suffered from the cptsd I developed. I mean, now I have no idea how I was able to do it, bc no pressure can make me repeat any of it. But I was so ashamed of being frigid. And was sure it destines me to die alone. I legit was sure I am abominated defected freak and later started to act that part. It took some horrible rape for me to stop and go 'ok I will be freak, I will die alone, I will not leave the house actually at all, bc I can't take it anymore' and only then I was able to stay safe of assault and abuse. It took me many years of therapy before I stopped being dissociated from my body enough to be aware I have attraction to women instead. And I honestly don't think I am worthy of dating bc I feel stained, unpure, and generally to ashamed with all these experiences. I mostly did that all myself to myself. Honestly my worst fear is people thinking I am bi, bc saying I'm bi would erase that decade of suffering of 'what is wrong with me' I asked for books or anything, bc it makes me feel a bit less crazy if i read on similar experiences? Some things I still struggle to put together and the level of pain I feel is extreme as you can imagine.

hey anon, i’m sorry you went through all of that. it sounds quite traumatic, some of it overlaps with my experience (not knowing what’s wrong with me, trying to “fix” my lack of attraction, being dissociated and disconnected from my feelings, not feeling the way other women felt about men)

i honestly don’t know any resources that would help you. around a decade ago, i stumbled across the term “comphet” from other lesbians and they were mainly talking about it like.. ignoring your feelings because you think you must be attracted to men, even if there’s no evidence of that in your life. the more recent sources i’ve seen into comphet & more traditional sources are often moreso aligned with political lesbianism so i dont think it’s that helpful to any actual lesbians. i’ll instead reiterate the points that resonated with me back then:

1. having to dissociate to be with a man (can also be a sign of trauma)

2. choosing “crushes” on guys mostly to appeal to your friends or fit in

3. not being able to have sexual fantasies involving men (this does not include flashbacks or intrusive thoughts, but rather actual sexual fantasies)

4. sexual interactions with men feel forced & are unwanted

5. you are unable to envision a future with a man

6. mistaking feelings of anxiety or fear or nervousness for attraction to men (could be trauma-related, i advise to look back to before your trauma & analyse how you felt)

7. you felt the need to use substances to be able to get through sexual interactions with men

8. you have had to convince yourself that you somehow like a guy and practically choose to make yourself like him, whereas it comes naturally with women & is out of your control

9. you pretend to have certain feelings for men to appeal to others rather than genuinely having them

10. building on 9, playing up a romance with a man for public image purposes

11. struggling to relate to other women when they fawn about other guys

12. having beliefs that all other women find women attractive & think men are gross, but it’s just your obligation to be with a man anyways (so it’s not something you want, but something you HAVE to do)

i cant think of others but honestly what i generally recommend is to think through your life, & especially in your case think BEFORE the trauma. it’s tough because the trauma was at a young age, but it can muddy things as there are bisexual & even heterosexual women who become repulsed my men because of trauma. so think of your life before then, did you have feelings for guys? did you have male celeb crushes? or were they only female? don’t think of how you pretended for others, think of how you genuinely felt about it.

the things you said to me do not sound wanted and it sounds like you were afraid to speak up and would freeze in fear (a common trauma response). but again, it’s hard to know whether this trauma response is rooted in having a traumatic experience prior to this or if it is rooted in sexuality. don’t feel rushed to choose a label either, it took me several years before i felt confident enough to call myself a lesbian & it took a lot of introspection into my own life because like you, i was deeply dissociated and disconnected from myself (partially due to trauma & partially bc of pre-existing mental illness). being in such a state for prolonged periods can make it hard to understand your genuine feelings, but it’s possible.

also my recommendation is also to not look through comphet stuff online lol because nowadays people use it to even mean that they are attracted to guys & sometimes want to have sex with them, it’s unhelpful and might further confuse you. i wish i could share the stuff i read in the past about it but it’s all lost at this point 😭 good luck anon, take care of urself & take ur time figuring things out!!

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Okay, so sorry ahead in advance for the essay. I don't know if ur audience is really interested in this topic, or if you yourself are but i am tired and my filter is off. So I'm just gonna ramble Abt pas de deux.

Anyways, this is mainly coming off from the fact that I find classical music CRIMINALLY underrated. However, I'm so happy to see Pas Des Deux get appreciated the way it is. There's something ethereal about the song. I firmly believe that music isn't only to be used in entertainment but also to envoke feels that may be otherwise hard to express. Music feels like a universal language, whether or not you know how to play instruments or understand the lyrics. Imo, pas de deux is one song that HITS it on the nail.

There's something about the song which touches on intimate feelings, of yearning and wanting and comfort. The lower string instruments bringing a warmth, where as flutes and the harp bring in an innocence. The way Tchaikovsky layered the instruments to not only build upon eachother but let the story stay woven thru the transferring melodies. Admittedly, I'm very emotional myself, but over music? It's difficult.

Like i said before, music is there to envoke feelings to the audience, to bring joy or comfort. A lot of lyrical songs and pieces do it easily so, and they could be powerful. There's nothing more heartbreaking than to listen to a lover sing about her gray days without her spouse or of children singing about their innocent world. Even with some instrumental pieces, some specific feelings are easy to bring out, and that's honestly my favorite part about music.

What stood out to me for a song like pas Des Deux is the way it brings in so many feelings. Yes, there's a main story the ballet follows. However, even outside of the ballet plot, there's something so unique about the song, in the way that it feels as if it's touching innocence, yearning, the way someone might seek comfort of to their close ones. The listener just doesn't have to interpret it one way. Between the climax, to me, it sounds like separation of family, of heartbreak and loneliness and despair. And as soon as the music gets the angst with the brass instruments, the strings and the woodwinds lift it, like hope or comfort.

The ending is absolutely beautiful too. The song leaves such an otherworldly feeling. I've literally cried at how beautiful it is, it's just one of those things. No matter if you're in the most comfortable place in your life or struggling. The music just.../feels/ like your heart and your head. There's something about the song that just makes me feel human, makes me feel alive. Sometimes, it feels comforting as if it's calling a feeling deep beneath that i can't describe. Other times, it makes me realize how comfortably I live and even helps bring peace. Idk man, just one of my favorite songs.

Anyways, i don't know much about Tchaikovsky s history nor the song's. I just wanted to rambling about music whilst sleep deprived for anyone interested bc this is a topic that's been following me for weeks of not months, the beauty of music <3 and how i find pas des deux one of the BEST songs in the entire existence for myself. There's something about that song just feels insanely human, insanely close to our feelings.

Sorry for the repetition c

I pretty much grew up with classical music because a lot of famous composers are from Germany/Austria, so it was like part of Kindergarten and school to listen to them here and there and go to concerts where an orchestra played those. (One of my teachers fell asleep during one of those concerts and we’ve made fun of that for ages lmao.)

But I have to say, Russian composers hit different. (I think in general Russian media is insane and I personally blame that on Russian history…)

However, my favourite will always be Erik Satie’s Gymnopédie no. 1.

#no writing #music hits just different man

[walmart-sekai]

heyo, as a resident leo/needer on tumblr, I was scrolling through the leo/need tag and I found your thoughts!

so like. I'm kinda just gonna respond to your dislikes as I kinda am a leo/need oshi (I apologize if this ask annoys you I am so very sorry if it does)

ok ok so we start with the realism thing. yeah that's just a personal taste thing each to their own etc etc .

conflict wise, I think the best way to phrase it was not that they fell out, but they fell apart. like they didn't hate each other, it was more of a "the social pressure got to me and now my sense of self worth is garbage and as long as the others are happy without me it's fine" situation (read that day the sky was far away we love you hinomori shiho). and generally, I would say in middle school, it wasn't the conflict but the absence of conflict that hurts the most.

and my main point of contention is about Ichika as POV character. um. yeah read event stories. I get your point bc I thought about that too but ultimately, it makes sense because it was mainly ichika's inaction that led to this. ichika also did not tell saki about the friend group slowly falling apart so. ultimately this is kind of an ichika mess

anyways sorry if this ask bothered you have a nice day

No need for apologies! I put my thoughts out there, you sent yours back. Now imma send mine back.

Okey dokey, so:

I do fully admit that most of my gripes with Leo/Need are just a personal preference thing. I think “they fell apart, not fell out,” is a very good way to describe the conflict; but again, my issue is that that’s not really much of a conflict at all. It’s not suspenseful for me as a reader. (Again, this is a personal preference. I’m just not a huge fan of the specific type of YA fiction Leo/Need draws on)

As for your disagreement about the Ichika thing: I’m sure Ichika is great in event stories, and that they elaborate very well on her role in the main story. But that doesn’t change my opinion that she was not utilized well as a POV character in the main story. The event stories are a whole other ball game, and no matter how great they are, they don’t absolve the main story from any and all criticism.

I understand her inaction is a big factor in their friend group falling apart, but that happens before the main story. By the time we the reader tune in, all of that is over, and we only view it through the occasional flashback. She takes on more of an active protagonist role in the second half, but for the first like 4 or 5 episodes, Saki is absolutely the one driving the plot forward. Ichika’s just kind of along for the ride (this is not a dunk on Ichika by the way, I would also be along for the ride)

Honestly I think Leo/Need would’ve really benefited from more alternating POV. If I were writing it I probably would’ve done a lot of switching between Saki and Ichika throughout, with a main focus on Ichika near the end. Because I think Ichika’s a great choice of POV for the final few episodes, her development there is one of the reasons I love the ending.

I’m absolutely still going to read the event and side stories for Leo/Need, and overall, I did like the main story. I really did love the ending, it made me very exited to see how they take things moving forward! Especially with Shiho, I think there’s a lot of potential there.

Anyway, thanks for your thoughts on my thoughts! Hope you enjoyed my thoughts on your thoughts on my thoughts. (That sentence got away from me.)

#I hope you guys don’t think I have some vendetta against Leo/Need specifically #I have criticsms of the other stories as well #I just didn’t have a blog back then #ask #anon #pjsk #project sekai #leo/need