#this is dramatic and long but it's a dramatic situation that is completely slept on in the public eye

[sunspira]

Im laying my bets now. the entire idea that autism (and adhd) is more common in men and boys is pure myth created by poor science, backwards statistics and faulty parameters of the condition itself. in another 50 years we will understand it was never a gendered condition. just a highly gendered and biased measurement system. i'm absurdly confident on that

the rates of autism in girls is "rising" exponentially. it is rising even more exponentially in girls than in boys. not because girls are becoming more autistic. but because the "science" is just getting better at measuring and accurately acknowledging autism in girls.

autism often does present differently in girls, due to how girls are raised or personality differences. the literature and criteria was based on boy sample groups. the entire research data was done on white men as if that is a standard default person and control group.

not only that, doctors and teachers and parents literally were not looking for it in girls under the false widely propagated belief it was rare in women in girls. it is a self fulfilling prophecy. that's not science.

we will soon have to reckon with the lost generations of autistic girls and women and children assigned female at birth* who never got diagnosis and early intervention. we should be forcing the world to reckon with it right now. a great deal of autistic millennial women are brilliant minds who dropped out of STEM and the workforce due to their untreated and misidentified disability overtaking their life. the impact of never Knowing you or your child is autistic or adhd is difficult to comprehend for autistic and adhd people who did get diagnosed as children. even when the awareness and interventions were unhelpful or harmful. the harm of not knowing means the child trying even harder to become neurotypical and a level of autistic burnout few others on the spectrum can comprehend, often taking place after the woman is a legal adult, and there are no legal protections in place for this disabled person.

the unmitigated stress of being developmentally delayed and never knowing it, simply hating and blaming yourself and fighting day in and out past your limits to become neurotypical, limits your don't know you should have because you have never been so much as briefed on what adhd or autism can feel like. you don't know the distres and tiredness you're feeling is "dysregulation". this is why we see women in nervous breakdowns. psychiatric wards. treatment resistant depression. electric shock therapy. hard drug addiction. cutting. homelessness. personality disorders. dissociation. psychosis. early death by accident or suicide. (obviously people who are not autistic or adhd have these illnesses but my point is untold and disproportionate numbers of them are undiagnosed neurodivergent with unprocessed trauma. i'm telling you. more than you think).

it's why we see young people on tiktok not faking DID per say, but describing a dissociated experiences and fractured sense of self and escapist alternate personalities, a mental illness that has much less in common with traditional DID, but has much in common with struggling and under-treated autistic people. DID is a very rare condition. autism is very common. autism can create out of body experiences and self protective blurring of reality and fantasy so extreme, no person can be expected to understand it is autism if they never been advised about their own disability and the knowledge that should he available to them. it's no wonder we have people with mislabeled rare disorders like DID who are clearly very sick but instead of showing real DID signs, are sick with all the signs of severe unassisted autism they have been completely barred from understanding or coping with in any other way. for those lucky enough, we see unemployed young women with severe chronic pain in their 20s and 30s who look and feel like they're elderly and gave up their dreams when they hit 21 or 25 and their brains stopped working and their bodies shut down. now they mostly scroll tumblr and tiktok and try to remember to open the blinds. they have a roof but people scorn them for entitled laziness and worst of all derided for "self diagnosing".

again i'm asking why CFS chronic fatigue syndrome is so responsive to adderall. i'm asking why professionals are reluctant to test women for adhd if she does well in school because she is very bookish and why experts in the field are openly amused and doubtful to test a woman for autism if she has a long term boyfriend. why is ability to mask or function a disqualification. why is inability to function in women, who later turn out to be autistic or adhd, so aggressively mischaracterized as BPD, bipolar, depression, OCD, schizophrenia. why is autism and adhd clinically diagnosed and defined by distress and dysfunction and not by intrinsic traits and qualities that present while still functional for preventative care. why are all people, men and women forced to wait until their lives and minds are deteriorating and they have experienced some irreversible disasters and pain before they can be diagnosed. why must girls and boys wait until their daily life as children have become unbearable hell for them before their disability can be treated and acknowledged. and if these policies are changing now, why are doctors and psychiatrists not eagerly and urgently reaching out to find the vulnerable adults they missed during more archaic screening methods. we aren't rising in adhd diagnosis because of tiktok you assholes. adult onset adhd and autism don't exist. those people were always adhd. adult onset skill regression and increase in severity due to stress DOES happen in adulthood. modern day stresses like loss of structure during the pandemic and social media is advancing to become more attention span draining. everyone is feeling the effects but these are causing adhd and autistic people to cope less and mask less effectively so they are running into significant problems, their loved ones are noticing, they are getting referrals and suddenly forced to google their rapidly worsening mental issues for the first time and seeing they line up with a known neurological condition . this is obvious. doctors blaming it on some sort of trend are being willfully clueless

*because autism especially is screened identified diagnosed and first intervened ages 2-5, before a child has an internal concept of self or gender and above all before they can express their gender, diagnostic practices and criteria are based on how adults perceive a child via birth assignments. and the studies are overwhelmingly beholden to data only on children assigned male at birth, rarely accounting for their actual future gender either. as part of the warped science insisting that autism is as if somehow linked to the y chromosome and not a universally likely human quality, you see amab kids laser focused on as candidates and afab kids fucked over most of all. all children assigned female have the worst chances of their developmental disability being identified and acknowledged in a timely manner and disproportionately experience late diagnosis in later adolescence or adulthood. tho i wouldn't be surprised if trans womens rates of accurate diagnosis is lower than cis men. as trans girls may present autism differently and characteristic of girls autism, even while still in the closet or before she knows she is trans. regardless adults are very vigilant for signs of autism, even atypical ones, in any child they perceive as a boy. so any millennial or gen z child identified female at birth had significantly worse chance at receiving autistic support compared to peers

in particular women assigned male at birth might have a better chance at being identified for types of autism that are often labeled "high functioning", involves high masking, and often receives few services. these more invisible types of autism often need to be diagnosed before age 5 in order to qualify under the criteria at all. and so in the days where autism was believed to be 20x more common in the genetics of xy children, any chance of being considered and diagnosed would come down to almost purely birth assignment dependent. with the less outwardly visible types of autism, a person who misses this window will remain autistic all their life but once they learn a certain level of skills and masking, no matter how late they learn these, the person will no longer qualify for diagnosis, either not until they have a nervous breakdown or possibly not ever qualify. it's this type of more hidden autism we see struggling across the board as undiagnosed adults including both trans and cis women especially, tho we are seeing it disproportionately even more so in undiagnosed afabs of any gender. who are dropping out of schooling and work and succumbing to severe mental illnesses during what should be the prime of their lives. overall tho birth assignment is not everything this is an issue that disproportionately impacts cis women. trans women. trans men. non-binary people. likely doubling for those that are afab. and then tripling and quadrupling for children who are not white.

bit of an understatement in that last part there. gender likely isn't even the biggest barrier to proper diagnosis and treatment. probably race is even more so. but since gender is such a big disparity in itself across race and one i relate to and can speak on from experience ive focused on it here. a more in-depth look is needed on the neglect of adhd and autistic children of color especially black native and latino kids. but for now do keep in mind the points i'm making increase exponentially for kids who aren't white across all genders including cis boys

#this is dramatic and long but it's a dramatic situation that is completely slept on in the public eye #it's not just about me this is about people who had it so much worse. tho my insider experience obviously brought it to my attention #i'm pretty sure i'm not autistic im adhd but the reality of adhd is a lot more like autism than we are acknowledging #a topic for another day #autism in women #adhd in women #atypical autism #adhd inattentive #undiagnosed autistic #undiagnosed neurodivergent #undiagnosed autism #undiagnosed adhd

[squoosheez]

Lavender Haze

Peeta Mellark x Reader

summary: You wake up in the bed of none other than Peeta Mellark. Frantic that you’re gonna miss your train, you recall the events of the previous night.

setting: The last night of the victor’s tour. It’s the after party and you’re completely wasted, so Peeta takes you up to his room to get cleaned up.

pairing: Peeta Mellark x Fem!Reader

warnings: smut, drunk sex/dub-con, p in v, reader’s an absolute menace

notes: i didn’t put too much effort into this but i hope it’s not horrible 😭 short n sweet ig

word count: 3.1k

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socials: ao3

You feel your head pound as you down your second Advil of the day. It’s quite evident now that you should not have gone to that after party. Another reason to support your claim is the fact you don’t know where the fuck you are.

Usually, you would’ve called yourself an Uber by now, but the pounding in your head was enough to make you stay just long enough to locate the nearest pain medication. You scan the room, trying to find any sign of where you may be. It’s definitely in the Capitol. Yesterday was the last day of the Victor's Tour, and the train doesn’t leave until.. well today. You feel panic start to set it.

The train. You completely forgot how important it was to know where you end up the morning of the after parties. The train. You spring up from the barstool and sprint back into the bedroom from whence you came.

Your heart pounds as you attempt to gather all your things. The tight, black, sequin dress you wore last night paired with some black stiletto heels. You don’t remember much, but you remember they hurt. You fumble around, reaching for your bag and not really bothering to change your clothes. That will definitely stir up your fans.

You move groggily around the room after you pick up all your belongings. As you start to make your way towards the door, you see the handle turn and hear a set of keys jingle on the other side. You take a step back as the door opens to reveal none other than Peeta Mellark.

You let out a sigh of relief as you run into his arms. He shoots you a confused look, but embraces you in his arms anyway. Before he can get a chance to speak, you drag him to the ground. He lands on top of you gracefully, giggling and laughing without knowing why.

“Oh, Peeta. I was so scared I was gonna be late, and I think I slept with a stranger last night.” You groan into his shoulders. Your words cause a piercing laugh to escape Peeta’s lips. You look up at him in confusion.

“It wasn’t a stranger,” he remarks. It all comes flooding back to you. You can’t tell whether to be relieved or panic even more. Your face flushes red with embarrassment as you think about the consequences of your own actions.

You gently slam your head against his marble countertops and make a loud noise that can only be described as a wail. Your dramatics are not making Peeta feel any better about the situation. He is sitting on the couch, watching the screen attentively while you rethink your entire life decisions.

Through all the blurred vision and distorted noise you recall happened last night, you finally start to remember what exactly had happened after the party.

It was a normal after party, except much more extravagant. It was the after party after you visited the presidential mansion. The party with the president was nothing less than over the top, but it still seemed very strict. You had to put on a good show and pretend like you were enjoying yourself the whole time, despite experiencing quite the opposite.

The after party was much more laid back. More drinking, less talking. You danced until your legs couldn’t hold you up, which ultimately led to Peeta carrying you up the stairs and to his bedroom. His bedroom?

He laid you on the bed and started to run you a bath. You squirmed around trying to decipher whose bed you were in. You heard the running water and decided it’d be nice to take a bath. That’s when you felt the vomit stirring up in your stomach. And in just a second, it’s out of your stomach and ruining Peeta’s brand new sheets.

He immediately rushed into the room and lifted you up, trying to keep you from completely coating yourself in puke. He sighed hard and had you sit on the toilet while he cleaned the mess you so generously made.

Alcohol poisoning was not unfamiliar to you, with all the parties in the Capitol, this was a normal occurrence. Peeta doesn’t enjoy cleaning up after you, but you’re his best friend, so he puts up with it. Though, you’re almost as bad as Haymitch at this point.

Once he’s finished stripping the bed and putting a set of fresh new sheets on it, he returns his attention towards you. You’re mumbling something barely audible and Peeta gives you a laugh in response. Due to your puking incident, he didn't want to put you in the bath first. He grabs the shower head off of the shower and ushers you into the shower.

You whined, thinking you were gonna get a bath. Before he gets the chance to ask you, you’re struggling to discard your clothes. Your shirt is stuck on your arm, and he just giggles at your useless attempt. His hands help to lift the shirt above your head, revealing your curvy figure and shimmery skin. You murmur something about staring and he gives you a forced laugh in return. He then softly asks you if you can remove your pants, in which you have no shame in doing. It makes his face grow red and his ears grow hot.

He turns on the water, and allows you to rinse yourself off at first. This quickly goes to shit when you try to spray him in the face. He wipes the water from his face, and discards himself off his sopping wet shirt.

You’re a giggling mess as Peeta hoses you down, your body barely being able to stay up against the wall of the shower. Once Peeta decides he’s gotten all the puke off, he escorts you towards the bath. Your body sinks in and the warm water feels so good on your skin.

Peeta reaches over to grab a clean plastic cup. He scoops up some water and instructs you to close your eyes. He pours the water over your head, wetting down your hair so he can wash it. He squirts a bit of shampoo onto his hand and rubs it gently into your scalp. He does the same with the conditioner on the ends of your hair. He takes the cup again and rinses the suds out of your hair. You look up at him every now and then, giving him a beautiful smile that always gives him butterflies.

“You look beautiful tonight,” he says as he finishes rinsing the last of the soap out of your hair. You grab a bar of soap and begin to rub it over your body, but you get tired halfway through. You place the soap on the side of the bath closest to him, assuming he would take it and finish scrubbing you.

His breath hitches. He looks at you with a disappointed look on his face. “I can’t help you here. You can do it,” he encourages. Obviously, since you’re drunk, you take this statement as he doesn’t want to help you and wants to leave you here completely defenseless. Tears well up in your eyes and you choke on your tears. Small sniffles can be heard as Peeta immediately tries to comfort you.

He whispers reassuring words in your ear as you continue to cry. He decides against making you wash yourself and just helps you out of the bath. He grabs a towel and dries off your hair before wrapping it around your body. You shiver at the cold air hitting your wet skin, but you’ve stopped crying. So that’s a plus.

His hands guide you onto his bed, most of the guests have already left. The music volume has decreased greatly and only faint conversation can be heard. Peeta just hopes no one comes up here with you laying in his bed.

For some reason, you’re still wide awake. You wait to feel Peeta’s warmth climb into bed beside you to fall asleep, but he’s taking way too long for your liking. You throw your legs over the side of the bed and make your way over to the closet. Without even bothering to ask if he’s in there, you pull the door wide open to reveal Peeta’s almost naked body. He’s standing there in nothing but a pair of boxers while he tries to pick out a pajama shirt.

Your cheeks flush an embarrassing shade of red. He quickly shuts the door back and throws the first shirt he sees over his head. When he opens the door again, you’re sitting in front of the closet with tears running down your face. He immediately crouches down to be on your level. He wipes a tear from your cheek and speaks softly. “Hey, It’s okay. You wanna head to bed?”

You nod and let him pick you up and carry you onto the bed, placing you there gently. You feel your body relax as he climbs into the bed next to you. He allows you to lay your head on his shoulder as he turns the TV on. He watches as you drift off into a soft sleep.

Later in the night, Peeta awakes to find you moving around in your sleep. Tossing and turning, mumbling words that he can’t quite make out. It’s not until he hears you breathe out his name that he comprehends what’s happening. He curses under his breath.

Your body is facing him, the towel slipping off your figure as you continue to squirm around. He debates waking you up or just letting you enjoy your dream. He takes a deep breath in, feeling his own arousal building in the pit of the stomach. It feels so wrong to watch you like this, so he wakes you up.

You hear his voice whisper gently and your eyes flutter open. You let out a whimper of disappointment when you realize your dream is finished. The disappointment slowly fades away at the sight of Peeta. You smile and place a messy kiss directly on his lips. His eyes widen at the action.

He lets the kiss linger before breaking it gently. Your eyes are fixated on his lips and his biceps. You let out an involuntary whimper in the absence of his lips. All you can manage to say is name.

Peeta groans against the crook in your neck. His breath is warm against your cold skin and it sends shivers down your spine. You can still feel the lingering effects of intoxication as his hands travel up and down your body. You allow his eyes and hands to explore every inch of your body he can as you indulge in the sensation.

“Peeta,” you whisper softly. His eyes flick up to meet yours.

“Yeah?” He says quietly. You bite your lip as you feel your arousal swelling in your lower stomach, heat radiating from in between your legs.

“Touch me,” your voice shakes as you look up at him with pleading eyes. His expression is tense. He wants it so bad, but it feels wrong. He wants you to want him when you're sober. He wishes you would ask him these things when you’re not drunk.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. Almost every time you get drunk Peeta cleans you up and holds you close and you try to get in his pants. Every time, he tells you no. Usually you take it pretty well, but for some reason you seem extra emotional today. He fears what may happen if he denies your request.

It’s an inner conflict for a moment before you decide to take matters into your own hands. Your hands travel down from his chest to the band of his boxers. He bites his lip as your body moves in closer. The towel is slowly slipping off your frame and it’s much different from how you looked when he was bathing you.

There’s a hunger in your eyes. Dark and cold. Your lips connect again and you can still taste the traces of tequila in his mouth, he’s far less drunk than you are, but the taste makes you long for more. You completely discard yourself off the towel. You have zero intentions of dragging this out.

You flip around, landing on top of him. Your hips straddling his thighs like they were made for him to be in between them. He’s completely taken aback by your movements, and he doesn’t even try to stop you anymore. You grind your hips against the growing bulge in his boxers, soaking them with your dripping arousal.

Peeta mumbles curses every now and then while you continue to grind relentlessly into him. You pull him in for once last sloppy kiss before he takes matters into his own hands. He pulled you towards him, immediately suctioning one of your nipples into his mouth. Your eyes roll back at the sensation. You let out a loud gasp as his hand roams freely on your body. They make their way to your throbbing clit, giving it the long awaited attention it deserves. Your back arches and you let out another loud moan at the action.

“Fuck me, Peeta.” Your words slur together, reminding him you’re still intoxicated. He buries the shame of his desires deep down and gives you a small smirk.

His hands travel down towards your ass, giving it a hard slap (that definitely left a mark). Your chest heaves as his hands squeeze and grip at your ass, and all you can think about is taking him so deep.

“Of course, baby.” He responds, his breath shaky and far from stable. You scoot up to give him room to slip off his underwear. He pulls them down to his ankles and you can feel his erection spring up to hit your ass. You smile as you breathe out another soft moan.

You move back to your previous position, his cock hitting your stomach with every small movement. You give him a couple strokes, watching as his expression grows more needy. Your thumb traces over his slit, earning a lewd whimper from Peeta’s throat. You lean over placing yet another kiss on his neck, sucking a dark hickey on his pale skin.

You position him near your entrance, sliding his cock back and forth between your folds, teasing him ever so slightly. He lets out a hiss as you finally sink yourself down on him. Your back arches as his cock fills you to the brim, legs shaking while you try to hold yourself up.

The room is filled with ah’s and mm’s as you pick yourself up and slam yourself back down onto him. He hits your g-spot, but only softly with very little effort. His hands guide your hips in a circular motion. He grits his teeth as you let out a moan that can only be described and slutty when he slams straight into your sweet spot. Tears well up in your eyes as your hand moves to circle your swollen clit.

Peeta gives your ass another slap, causing a string of profanities to slur out of your mouth. Your whole body feels like it’s floating. The pleasure is unimaginable. His sweaty blonde hair sticks to his forehead and you watch as he fucks up into you, letting small groans escape his lips occasionally. “You’re so tight,” Peeta hisses.

Your moans echo throughout the room, flooding Peeta’s head with the sounds of your pleasure. He feels the bubbling in his stomach grow stronger when he feels your walls clench around him. He curses under his breath and continues to use his hands to force you down on him.

Tears, drool, and sweat drip down your face, creating a mixture that cannot taste good. Peeta doesn’t mind. He pulls you down and connects your lips in a sloppy, wet, unorganized kiss. You don’t know how he manages to do it. He drives you crazy with every movement and you cannot get enough of it.

He continues to pound into you, your knees lock and you let him fuck you as hard as he can. A few shrill moans leave his throat as his climax approaches rapidly. You feel the same, your moans becoming much more erratic and louder. His thrusts become sloppy and less careful. He speeds up and your back arches as you feel his cock pulsate inside you.

“Peeta- I’m gonna, fuck—” you barely manage to give him a warning before your orgasm takes over. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, and you swear you see stars. Peeta’s face is concentrated, beads of sweat pouring down his chin, needy moans escaping from behind his lips.

He can feel his own orgasm building as you grab onto his biceps for support. It’s all too much and more tears stream down your face as the overstimulation sets in. You feel his body tense up and he pulls out as fast as you’ve seen any guy pull out. He gives himself a few fast strokes before cumming all over your tits. “Jesus.”

Peeta almost collapses on top of you, stopping himself before he accidentally crushes you. He locks your lips in a gentle kiss this time, not as messy or needy as before. He gives your nose and forehead a matching kiss as well. He brushes your hair behind your ears and you shoot him a ridiculous smile. The last thing you wanna do right now is move. You close your eyes as Peeta walks over to the bathroom. You hear the sink running and can only assume he’s wetting down a rag.

You’re right, of course. He places the rag in between your breasts, wiping away any of the cum residue he left there before placing another kiss right in between them. You giggle softly and pull him down towards you.

Your cheeks flush read at the sight of a completely fucked out Peeta Mellark. You feel a little proud of yourself as he swoops in for one last kiss before pulling you closer. You fall asleep knowing you’re in the arms of the man you feel most safe with.

That’s when you’re snapped back into reality. Peeta rushing around the room frantically trying to gather all his things and Peeta calling to alert the two of you the train’s arriving in twenty minutes. Your face is hot and you’re clearly embarrassed at the acts of your drunk self, but Peeta just seems to try to ignore them.

You try to regain control of your thoughts when Peeta breaks the silence. “Everything alright?” His voice is sincere and coarse. Just like it was that night.

“Yeah, I’m all good.”

#peeta mellark #peeta x reader #peeta smut #peeta mellark smut #peeta x y/n #alternate universe #you’re besties #lavender haze #wet dream #p in v

[st4rgzer]

heyy i love your fics, like actually you have talent but anyways i have a really specific request so... can you please write something really fluffy where y/n is scared of needles, like she litterally can faint. so she has to go to the doctor (like get vaccine or something) and shes so anxious and afraid and she asks matt (you choose if they are dating or just friends yet) to drive her there and he agrees. she is trying to keep her cool but when she sees the needle and realizing what is going to happed she gets really stressed and like start to panic and matt try and calm her down? can you do it please? also i ADORE youre song fics.

NEEDLES matt sturniolo

summary: Matt goes with you to your dreaded appointment

genre: fluff!

cw!: needles!!!!!

a/n: hi love ty sm for requesting, i’m sorry if it isn’t exactly what you asked for? but i hope you like it, i am also deadly afraid of needles so this was hard to get through😭 (and i really really appreciate you like my song fics<3)

“Matt can we please reschedule the appointment please” I begged, tugging on his arm as he took a can of soda out the fridge.

“I’m sorry, baby, but you already postponed like, 3 times, plus i’ll be right there with you, okay?” He said before opening the can and sipping, then placing it on the counter, diverting his attention to his distressed girlfriend

“everything is going to be fine, we’ll go shopping after, get some food, whatever you want” He cupped my face as he tried to convince me not to fret, reassuring me that, despite my persistent stubbornness and fear of needles, I would be completely fine. I somewhat believed his words, although I think that thats just the effect of Matt being Matt.

I sighed and dropped my head to the crook of his neck.

“I don’t know, I’m just nervous, I know it’s stupid” I mumbled, my muffled words being hard to understand.

“Hey, look at me” He gently held my chin up as a slight pout formed on my face, earning a small grin from him.

“I’m going to be there, it’s just a small moment, nothing more” His words repeated like a mantra in my brain “a small moment, nothing more” I hoped it was just that, an instance.

I never knew why I was cursed with the fear of needles, I just was, ever since I was a little kid, the mindset kind of just stayed with me throughout all my life.

That night I slept uneasy, In Matt’s arms, which helped my situation slightly.

……

I cursed under my breath as the moment came, sat in Matt’s car, googling all the posible breathing techniques, anything that could take my mind off it just a little.

My grip on Matt’s hand became more and more tensed as we got out of the car and approached the doctor, I felt my heartbeats in my throat, and Matt sensed the discomfort in my steps.

“hey, I promise it’s okay” He whispered in my ear, placing a petal kiss on the crown of my head. I took a deep breath, and nodded, before stepping into the dreadful room where I hadn’t been for a long time.

As I sat down on the chair, I felt the heat rise to my whole body, making my hands sweaty, despite it being the middle of winter.

The nurse was friendly enough, I think I would’ve thought she was nicer if she wasn’t going to be actively piercing my skin with a needle.

“okay sweetheart, it’ll just be a pinch” She smiled at me, giving me the kind of comfort you get when an elderly woman smiled at you on the street. That helped distract me for approximately 5 seconds, before returning to taking deep breaths.

“Look at me, don’t look at your arm” Matt cautioned me, fighting to meet my gaze as I looked concerned at the lovely nurse disinfecting the spot that would later be punctured. (dramatic asf)

I hesitantly looked at him, founding some sort of consolation within the familiar smile. I decided to start tracing every detail with my eyes, trying to let my mind wander somehow.

I was enjoying finding new spots and freckles, curves, specs in his eyes, new things to admire . As absurd as it sounds, it surprisingly distracted me enough. My breath hitched and I winced, but when the needle finally made contact with my skin, and came out, it wasn’t as bad as I anticipated.

“Well done my love” He congratulated me, rolling my eyes at the embarrassment of being celebrated like a little baby, and to be fair, I did act like that, but I was enjoying the treatment.

Before getting into the car, he kissed me, wrapping his arms around my waist, leaning against the hood of the car.

“Thank you for putting up with me being a scaredy cat” I mumbled, leaning my head against his chest.

“I’m happy to do so, and I’m keeping my promise on taking you out for lunch and shopping” He grinned at me as a smile started forming on my face, knowing there was no point on trying to convince him not to buy my all these fancy things, he’s too stubborn.

He opened the car door for me and put on my seatbelt, insisting that I don’t move my arm for 2-5 business days, even though the shot was on my non dominant hand. Who am I to decline this princess treatment?

taglist: @dwntwn-strnlo @iha8you @lovelysturniolo @gabbylovesreading @strnlsblog @strniolo @ssturniolo @sturniolol @stvrni0lo

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo fanfiction #matt sturniolo image #matt sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo

[princesachicana]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐭.𝟐 (conrad fisher x reader) (𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

description: you find yourself leaning on the one person consistent in your life, cameron

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑

You were pretty sure your boss hated you at the moment. You were currently on your 3rd cup of coffee and that still didn’t help how tired you were. “I’m gonna go ahead and send you home alright?” Your boss, threw you a nice smile. “Thank you” You whispered, politely waving goodbye to the rest of your co workers.

You hadn’t got a lick of sleep. Right after you got home from Conrad’s last night, you stayed up contemplating what to do. All you knew was that you were tired. Tired of crying, tired of thinking you weren’t enough, tired of being used. It’s gone on long enough and you were just done.

It would be hard ignoring Conrad’s late night texts though, at first you both started out as friends. He would hang with you in public, have actual conversations with you. All that changed of course, one night after a couple of beers, you embarrassingly spilled your feelings for him. He had kissed you, and you remembered feeling like you were on top of the world.

That night you had slept together for the first time, everything was fine between the two of you, until a week later he confessed that he thought your night together was a mistake. You of course were embarrassed and ashamed that you fell in so deep for this boy that clearly didn’t feel the same way. But when he proposed that he was still sexually attracted to you and wanted to start a no strings situation you agreed with out hesitation. Stupid, you thought back to your past self.

You didn’t think the hookups would turn into him ignoring you every chance he got. You didn’t think he would visibly have his lips on other girls when he was doing the same to you a night before. He acted as if you didn’t know each other in public, but if there was one thing that was consistent in your life it was cameron.

That’s why you breathed a sigh of relief when you noticed him standing on the porch of your beach house. “My shift wasn’t supposed to be over for another two hours, you we’re going to wait that long?” You questioned with a smile. “Well I was gonna surprise you with a picnic on the beach, since I haven’t seen you in awhile but here you are ruining my plans.” He joked shrugging his shoulders.

You gasped dramatically throwing your arms over his neck. “Please forgive me” The smile that broke out onto his face was contagious, his arms immediately wrapping around your hips. He could stay like this forever, the way your fingers tickled the back of his neck, the way your coconut shampoo smelt, the way you both seem to hold each other tighter at the same second. “Uhh- excuse me.” The annoyed voice made you both pull away.

“Ohh sorry.” Cameron nervously grabbed his wallet from his pocket. The food delivery guy. After handing the guy a twenty dollar bill in exchange for the food, you both took a seat on your porch swing. “I was supposed to have this whole set up” Cameron sorted through the bags of food,he was nervous. “Hey, this is good to.” You reassured him.

When he handed you your plate you sighed, you hadn’t had time to eat breakfast this morning. So you were starving. As you opened the plate you almost burst out into happy tears. “OH MY GOSH, you got them?” The chocolate chip pancakes from the diner. “Yeah, its no big deal, just know you’ve been mentioning them a lot” Cameron laughed, “they look good” and he certainly wasn’t wrong.

~

“So how come you got sent home early?” Cameron asked as you walked on the beach. The waves as background noise comforted you. “Didn’t get that much sleep.” You answered looking up at him. “You went to see him again right?” Cameron’s voice was quiet, almost unheard. “Yeah, i did don’t hate me.” you pleaded, voice sounding almost desperate.

“I don’t hate you, I hate the way you allow him to treat you.” you both stop walking, now completely facing one another. “What’s so special about him anyways?” Cameron’s words dripped off his lips like venom, he was getting angry. “I don’t know- I just-“ You were at a lost for words, that’s was such a random question coming from cameron.

“He’s using you y/n, and you go back to him every single time, why?” Cameron stepped closer this time, eyes begging for you to see that your worth so much more. “I know he’s using me okay, sometimes I feel like he really wants me, sometimes he holds me for a little longer, I just want someone to want me-“ You stopped, cameron gently grabbed your face with both hands. “I want you.” he whispered, his forehead against your own.

One hand trailed down your cheek, his thumb brushing against the soft skin. His eyes going from your eyes onto your lips. “Can i kiss you?” Your breath hitched, heart going 1000 miles a minute. “Yes, please” He wasted not one second, his lips were immediately on yours, butterflies went off in your stomach, it never felt like this kissing Conrad. His lips were soft against your own, the kissing was delicate, almost as if he were afraid you’d pull away.

It wasn’t just lust like with Conrad, Cameron had no intention of it, it was something so pure you couldn’t exactly pin point it just yet.

You pulled away first one hand coming onto his shoulder “you meant that?” you questioned him instantly, he smiled against your lips “do I need to kiss you again to prove it to you?” You nodded your head “Maybe?” this time you were the one that initiated the kiss. The feeling of his lips on yours was something you never expected, cameron was one of your best friends. But it felt so right and so good.

“You’re so beautiful.” Cameron whispered “let me show you how you deserve to be treated just give me a chance.” he placed one chaste kiss onto your forehead. The action, causing you to feel dizzy, cameron was so sweet.

“Okay..” You smiled leaning into kiss him again, you were interrupted by your phone going off with a text message.

𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗿𝗮𝗱: 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 ?

The text made you roll your eyes, It didn’t make your heart leap out of your chest like it usually did, it only annoyed you. You deleted the text message thread without a second thought and put your phone back into your pocket.

“What is it?” Cameron questioned hesitant. “Nothing important” you smiled, arms coming around his neck “Just kiss me.”

And he did just that, pouring all his feelings for you at once. Cameron was good to you always.

Tags: @zelzablues @exonct07 @fyegyall @youguysoozechemistry @ilymarkchan @snowssharkk @dopedaegus @summeerrr @multilover19 @pevqnsies @isicoss @silentninja24 (just tagging those you I thought would want to read. Sorry for unwanted tags!)

#the summer i turned pretty #conrad fisher x reader #cameron x reader #cam cameron #conrad fisher and jeremiah fisher #jeremiah fisher x reader #tsitp imagine #tsitp #tsitp fanfic #conrad fisher #jeremiah fisher #belly conklin x reader #belly conklin #tsitp x reader #x reader #Conrad fisher angst #conrad fisher blurb #tsitp series

[dailyreverie]

Jul!!! Hi love!!!🥰🥰🥰

I’d love to read anything you write with “close the curtains! my eyes are burning!” “don’t you think you’ve slept in long enough, you little vampire?” and Steve Harrington?🥺

Thank you as always Nova for requesting 🥰

Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader

Word count: 670

CW: Hungover clingy mushy Steve. Mentions of alcohol consumption.

It was tradition - so far, apparently - that Robin’s birthday could never pass you by without any kind of celebration. It gets messy and loud and late, with lots to drink from the second you arrive to the party until the moment you have to leave. That’s why it doesn’t surprise you when its way past noon and Steve is still sound asleep.

He’s snoring when you open the door, and between the drinking and the late night, you are sure there’s not a sound that could wake him up. You shake his shoulder lightly, only making him grunt and his eyebrows scrunch. “Hey, party boy. Rise and shine.” You greet him, trying to stiffle the laughter while faking a chirpy tone.

“Please stop yelling.” Steve murmurs against the pillow, rolling to the cold side of the bed completely aware that you were speaking in a low voice.

“Oh Steve…” You can’t help but pity him a little, laughing a little at his situation. “...I’m sorry, hon, but you need to get up. You promised Dustin last night you would see him today, remember?” You don’t give it a second thought as you grab the curtains and push them to the sides, letting the midday sun enter the room and hoping it is enough to wake Steve up. What you don’t think about, is the effect the light has on him in his current state…

“Aghh please, close the curtains! My eyes are burning!” He immediately complains, grabbing the pillow beside him to cover his face.

“Don’t you think you’ve slept in long enough, you little vampire?”

“My brain is going to explode.” He adds to the dramatics. Steve sat up and you could guess that the room was still spinning around him. With a groan he let his face fall into his hands as he rubbed it harshly, as if trying to wipe the hangover away. “How come you look so fresh?”

“Someone had to drive us back. I figured after you and Robing took that third shot that I was going to need to stay sober."

“Please don’t mention shots,” He interrupts you, having flashbacks from the nigh before. “And you said Dustin?”

“He’s coming over. You really don’t remember anything?”

“I don’t. I’m never drinking again.”

“Yeah, right.” Walking over to him it is hard to keep your laugh in; his usually perfectly done hair was sticking all over the place, but mostly falling over his face, while his t-shirt was on backwards and with the label on the outside. You push his hair back when you reach his side, kissing his temple in the process. Steve hums in pleasure, peeking up at you from behind his hands. As you take his hungover state in you make memory of the night before, it was hard enough to drag him home and then to bed, and you were sure his hangover was going to be bothering him (and you) all day; still, after seeing how happy he was last night, you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“There’s water and Tylenol on the bedside table,” your hands begin to massage his head, making him melt under your fingertips. “Drink that, and I’ll make some food.”

“Hmmm, I love you.” His head falls to rest on your stomach with the constant groan he’s been doing, and this time you can’t help but giggle at him.

“You better.” Your joke makes him laugh, which he immediately regrets as the vibration of the sound makes his head start spinning again. You try relieving it with your fingers, drawing circles on the back of his head. You truly do love hungover Steve, though, he’s cuddly and sleepy, and he clings onto you at any chance he gets if it means he’s getting a hair massage and a couple extra more minutes of sleep in your arms.

“I love you too, Steve.” You find yourself reminding him in case that last shot he took last night made him forget that too. He never does, though, never with you.

************************

Thanks for reading! Please reblog and comment if you enjoyed it!

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington drabble #steve harrington headcanon #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfic

[miasmaghoul]

Miasmaaaaaaaa my uterus is trying to kill meeeeeee

Any chance you have anything related to Dew taking care of a fellow ghoul to cheer me up??

Fucking love you by the way, thanks for being absolutely amazing ❤️

I fucking love YOU, random citizen! Apologies about the uterus, don't let that bastard win!

Sickfic ahoy! I really can't write short shit!

Dew stands at the foot of Rain's bed with his arm crossed, brow creased. He stares at a mountain of blankets on the mattress.

"You in there somewhere, Rain?"

There's a weak groan of acknowledgement and Dew spies a pair of long, pale fingers poking feebly between the layers. Rain had been absent all morning and Dewdrop had taken it upon himself to fetch the water ghoul - they were due to work in the chapel together today anyway, he figured he might as well make the sacrifice of his comfy spot on his couch.

"Dew?" Rain's voice is heavy, thick.

"Yeah." Dew wanders over to the side of the bed, standing on his tiptoes in search of Rain's face. He can't find it, the water ghoul completely covered save those two fingers. "You still asleep? You missed breakfast. Me and Swiss ate your pancakes." Dew prods at the heap and Rain groans.

"No." Dew sees the pile shift as Rain pulls his hand back, the whole mess shuddering. "No sleep. Dead." Dew snorts, sitting on the side of the bed. He pokes at a gap in the blankets and worms his hand into it, searching.

"Dibs on your shit then," Dew teases, digging deeper, searching for skin. Rain is very clearly not dead. He probably just hadn't slept and was being dramatic about it. The water ghoul is notorious for being grumpy without his beauty sleep. "C'mon, get your lazy ass up."

Rain starts to speak but it turns into a sudden, violent coughing fit instead and Dew startles, hopping off the bed with a concerned frown. It sounds bad and he says as much, a pained whimper emanating from the mound of bedding once the hacking quiets down. Okay, Rain's not dead, but clearly also not doing well.

"You sick?" It's not a real question, and Rain doesn't respond. The blankets start to shake and Dew's frown deepens. He leans over, feeling around for Rain's long limbs, working through the layers until he finds the outline of a bony arm. Rain is shivering violently, and even through the bedclothes Dew can feel him radiating a heat to rival his own. "Shit, you're almost as hot as me."

Rain tries to say something but the coughing takes hold again, and a little tangle of panic starts to form in Dew's gut. Low-level and itchy, like the feeling of being away from home and suddenly realizing you forgot to lock the door behind you. He takes a deep breath, then another, making soft shushing sounds and rubbing Rain's arm. This is very much not his area of expertise, and in the back of his mind he's trying to remember what Mountain did when Swiss was sick a few months ago. He doesn't get very far, distracted by Rain's wracking shivers.

Then he remembers, and has to roll his eyes for being so dense.

Dew moves once Rain's labored breathing evens out, leaving his hand in place on Rain's arm while he pulls out his phone and fires off a quick one-handed text to Aether.

D: wet boy sick come help

Their resident healer is currently on kitchen duty and Dew knows it, but the fire ghoul feels far too out of his element to deal with this alone. Aether will come when he can and he knows it. He swallows hard as he tucks the device away, focusing back on the situation at hand.

"Rain? Can you hear me?" There's a pathetic little squeak from the depths of the blanket pile. "I gotta take these off you. You're too warm."

"Nooo," Rain half-sobs, sniffling and curling deeper into his cocoon. "'m freezing, y-you can't take 'em."

The more Rain speaks the worse he sounds. His nose is stuffed, his throat raw, his chest rattling with every strained breath. Dew huffs through his nose and gives Rain's arm a reassuring squeeze.

"Sorry fishstick, not letting you cook yourself today."

Dew yanks back the blankets one by one, and Rain doesn't have the strength to do more than bat at his arm with a tired hand. He whines with each motion, Dewdrop having no choice but to shift his dead-weight limbs in order to unwrap the burrito Rain has made of himself.

"Dew, please," Rain whimpers, "too cold, too cold-"

"I'm workin' on it raincloud, I'm workin' on it," Dew murmurs, finally getting the blankets unwound from around Rain's shoulders. One last tug and Dew can finally see his face - he's pale as the ivory sheets beneath them, seafoam eyes sunken and heavy-lidded. His lips are chapped, mouth turned down at the corners. Dew's frown deepens as he rests his palm on Rain's forehead. "Fuck, you're really burning up."

Rain looks up at him with sad eyes and Dew feels something foreign in his chest ache. He finds himself staring at the water ghoul, grazing a thumb over his scalding cheek and gently dragging his fingers through Rain's sweat-damp hair. Rain's eyes drift shut and Dewdrop lets out a shaky exhale.

"Lemme see what I can do until Aeth gets here, ok?"

Rain groans, cracking one eye open. Dewdrop gives him a crooked little smile and Rain sighs, nodding. He hisses almost immediately.

"Ugh, my fuckin' head," he mumbles, "feels like it's gonna explode, shit."

"I'm gonna get you some water," Dew says, leaning down to press a quick kiss to Rain's roasting forehead before he realizes what he's doing. "I, uh," he stands and Rain whines, curling in on himself and shaking like a leaf, "I dunno if it'll help, but it can't hurt."

"So cold," Rain breathes, like he hadn't even heard Dew, "where's my blankets?" He paws weakly at the bed for a moment before giving up with a sad little sound, drawing his knees to his chest and tucking them under his shirt. He looks so...small. The ache in Dew's chest presses against his ribs.

Dew moves quickly in the bathroom, filling a paper cup with water and dampening a washcloth. He doesn't know if Rain will allow the cold against his skin, but the water ghoul will surely boil away to nothing if he doesn't try. He's back at Rain's side in no time, the ghoul having drifted into that sick kind of sleep that feels impossibly deep. Dew lays the washcloth between Rain's horns and the water ghoul shakes awake with a tight yelp.

"C-cold!" Dew catches Rain's wrist before he can tug the cloth off, laying his arm on the mattress.

"Leave it," he says, bringing the cup to Rain's mouth, "it'll help, I'm pretty sure. Drink some of this, c'mon, you sound like Swiss that one time he chugged vinegar."

Rain tries to wheeze out a laugh, but it just results in a sharp wince. Dew helps support his head as he helps Rain drink, slow sips. Rain flinches with every swallow, but he drinks it all, offering a soft sigh when he's done.

"Need more?"

Dew's frown returns as Rain shakes his head and swallows, licking his lips. He's shivering harder than ever now, muscles jerking wildly. "You're way too fuckin' hot, Rainy." Dew tosses the cup in the trash and pulls out his phone again. Aether hasn't responded. Shit. He has an idea, he just doesn't know if it'll help or harm. He doesn't particularly want to poach Rain like a salmon.

D: hurry if u can, bad fever i think

Rain makes a sound of utter misery and Dew moves automatically to the other side of the bed. He tugs away some of the mass of blankets and dumps them on the floor, making a hole behind Rain and sliding onto the bed as smoothly as he can. Trying not to jostle the water ghoul as he takes off his shirt and slots himself against his spine.

"Gonna try something," he says quietly into the suffering ghoul's ear, "I dunno if it'll work but I gotta try. Aeth should be here soon. Okay?"

Rain shudders and grunts, but after a moment manages to nod. Dew pulls the now-warm washcloth from Rain's head and tosses it away, replacing it with his hand. The water ghoul's eyes slip shut as Dew's other arm wraps around his waist, sliding under his shirt, palm coming to rest in the center of Rain's chest. He coughs again and Dew rests his forehead at the back of Rain's neck.

"Tell me if it hurts or anything."

Dewdrop is not a quintessence ghoul. He can't resonate with another ghoul's body and pick out what's hurt. He can't slide into Rain's core and sap away his fever like Aether can. But his fire isn't without its own benefits.

Dew closes his eyes and reaches into the heat beneath Rain's skin, feeling the way it pulses through his veins. It's a sick heat, thick like a too-humid summer day. Dew breathes deep and focuses, pushing his own brand of warmth into Rain's feverish flesh. It's a comforting heat, a muted fire on a winter morning, and it floods into Rain's entire being in comforting waves.

It's a risk, raising Rain's temperature, but ghouls are resilient, and when Rain relaxes in his arms Dew knows it was worthwhile. Rain's shivers die down bit by bit, and soon enough he's still. He's stretched his legs out and Dew has tangled them with his own, distributing his heat more evenly. Rain is breathing a bit more steadily now too, and Dew sighs as he adjusts his own temperature. Rain leans back against him.

"Thank you," he croaks, desert dry, "better."

"Shh," Dew says, pressing another soft kiss into Rain's sweaty hair without a second thought, "don't talk or anything, you need to rest. Hopefully Aether gets here quick."

Rain sighs and nods, bringing a heavy hand to rest over Dew's on his chest. Dew hums against his skin, soothing. It's something Aether does for him when he can't sleep, and it seems to help Rain too. He slackens in Dew's arms, breaths going gentle if rattling, but it's something at least. Dew lets his own eyes fall shut, drifting on the thud of Rain's heart against his callused fingertips.

That's how Aether finds them an hour or so later, skidding into the bedroom with his phone still in his hand, Dew's messages on display. They both snore, Rain louder than Dew, congested, as Aether catches his breath. He can't help but smile at the sight. Seeing Dew so obviously caring is a rare thing.

He'll pull Rain's fever away in a few minutes, but first he has to capture the moment on his phone. A beautiful memory for his eyes only. Dew would throttle him if he ever found it. Aether thinks it's worth the risk.

#miasma's work #the band ghost ficlet #rain ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #aether ghoul #sickfic #magical fuckery

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

I have two requests for Astarion, but one could be triggering for some (like me unfortunately) but the other request is how would Astarion be with a plus size partner? Could be fluff or sexully which ever one you choose

I can 100% can write this! As a plus-size person myself, I do hope that the fics I've rewritten so far are able to let anyone of any size or skin color be pictured as tav! ♡

protect yourself if it triggers you! Safety first loves!

Rated: Explicit

Warning: dubcon, dark ending Astarion

Within the temple of Kanchelsis, the God of the vampires. Not many vampires are religious types, they are predators who seek to feast and dominate. The last thing most vampires would do is answer or pray to a God. Yet, this group, a clan, keeps to the old ways before the second sundering. Your master was one of them, the Lord to an old clan— Ancient.

In this underground castle, the insane design of it being upside down within the Abyss. You had… No idea where he had kidnapped and trapped you!

You don't even know how you escaped.

The altar is the statue of a large humanoid bat creature with glowing red eyes, a pool of blood that branches out around the room, red mist as if the blood is boiling. There is comfort like in the Shadowfell when the burdens of regrets and loss are stripped from one's soul. 

Though only Astarion can say this place is as normal as a vampire domain goes, more dramatic in the architecture with suck lighting.

You stand before the altar, dressed in a white robe with a mask over your face hiding everything but your glossed-over eyes.

Kanchelsis called you upon the death of Cazador and Astarion's ascension. You, the first child of a vampire with the gift of the beast.

The hunger he felt was nothing compared to the ravaging bloodthirsty beast caged within.

"Welcome child of Szarr," Your arms wide open in greeting, "The first to ascend! How joyous to meet you in your newly accomplished flesh." The voice echoes as your movements match the expression, of glee.

"If you had wanted to see me so bad," His eyes were on your form. If this was a different situation he could spend months appreciating how the white is thin enough to see your body but thick enough to hide the fun bits. It sticks around your shapely form he knows like the back of his own hands.

"Yes, this is why I have chosen this prize," The chuckle is twisted, "This one gifted to be one to restore my hold on your world. The beast has slept for too long. It hungers, you will hold its leash."

"Now why would I do that? No offense but last time we dealt with gods they all were disappointing."

"Because little rat," Hissing out the words, "You wish to conquer the world. To rule the night and day, to dominate all beings both living and dead." Your body moves, levitating above the pool of blood before standing before Astarion. "And I want this for you. You who have completed the rites between master and slave! It has been so long since there has been a true vampire lord to walk your realm." Your hands touch his face, "Fate has decreed you to be my emissary."

The touch makes him feel warmth, not warmth of love but desire.

Kanchelsis is also the deity of debauchery.

"Cast a fog over Baldur's Gate for our children. None shall fear the night they are destined to roam– Under your rule."

Kanchelsis' power is oppressive, a presence Astarion has not felt since killing Cazador.

"They are to be yours, my child of the beast. Your spawn and kindred." Hands going to your chest to part your robes, "Consort and the succor to return my pets."

His fangs hurt, seeing the skin he has tasted and gripped, his hand grabs your shoulders with fingers ready to rip the fabric of this robe and take you.

"Couple within my temple. Rid them of the foul blessing of Lathander on them!" Anger, "Astarion, Vampire Ascendant, Emissary of Kanchelsis." A whisper of pleasure. "Cleanse them and go forth with my child."

Domination and defilement.

There is an ancient rite that grants the gift without needing a vampire. After, the individual will be made to drink from the pool of blood and Kanchelsis will gift the new kindred with a clan. Beast and Enchanter.

Your master performed a similar rite but he only drained you of blood, which only gave you part of Kanchelsis' gift. Tainted enough but not enough to stop Lathander from blessing you.

Kanchelsis will not stand for it! Especially when he has claimed to Astarion to be his Emissary, and with you as his consort: your task is to return the beasts of the sanguine hunger to this realm.

Within the temple, Astarion lays with you. He only touches you when Kanchelsis has released its hold over you,  you panic and freak out over what Kanchelsis plans. It's madness! However, you forgot it is the same goal as Astarion.

He has not changed for the better after the ritual, after freeing the world of the Elder Brain, he is hungry in a new way.

There in this temple, you are once more stripped of what is felt of your choice.

The love Astarion tells you does not help the pain you have ripping into your soul. The sex high drives you further into the maw of the beast, and further you fall from light– Yanked down by your dear beloved.

Betrayal. Why are you surprised? Your master did the same.

Marveled by your figure, the way he could grip every soft plush part of you, the way your cheeks puffed up when you pouted. He consumed a portion of you and now Astarion devours the rest both the parts you replaced and the other parts left over.

#reader insert #fanfiction #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion x reader #baldurs gate astarion #astarion #dark fanfiction

[chimivx]

yellow. (4)

pairing: Idol!Yoongi x Female!Reader ( ot7 KIND OF... they're there )

summary: Life is unreal in this moment of time. It's a dream come true, you've been swept off your feet... And the magic is only beginning. Your person, your soulmate, an Idol known by thousands, is completely, utterly, wrapped up in you. Time means nothing, you're stuck like glue.

words: 7k

warnings: SEXUAL CONTENT, 18+, swearing (always), kissing like crazy, sex talk, bad parents, yoongi gets mad in here, if I missed ANYTHING please let me know!

a/n: HI! PART FOUR of this series!! Thank you for all of the support, and the continued support, you all keep me inspired. Thank you for loving this couple as much as I do, they melt my heart. This part was fun to write, the different snippets of the tour... SO fun!

~ July 27th, 2015 ~

That was the first and only time Min Yoongi ever lied to you.

On the morning of July 27th, 2015, the morning after an exceptional night, you were not allowed to sleep for however long you pleased. There was a meeting to attend.

Waking up beside him was a dream, and almost didn’t feel real. Cuddled together directly in the center of the mattress, Yoongi had an arm slung over you with a grip that didn’t ease as the two of you slept. His chin was pointed down, his nose nestled in the fluff of your hair.

After sharing a shower, the steamy air inducing sleep on you both, once Yoongi was curled up beside you he made it his mission to never let you go.

Until the phone rang around seven thirty in the morning.

Opening your eyes to the gentle glow of sunlight from behind the closed curtains, you take a long breath and comprehend your situation. You were laying in the softest bed, in Los Angeles, in a hotel room, with Yoongi pressed to your back and his arm underneath your shirt wrapped around your bare waist. He hadn’t stirred yet, the shrill ringing of his phone not seeming to affect him.

Turning your chin to try to peek at him, the sight of his peaceful expression makes you smile. You almost felt bad for having to wake him up.

“D,” You half whisper, not wanting to startle him completely. He doesn’t move a muscle, but he speaks.

“I hear it,” He says. Waiting a couple seconds, you think he’s going to roll over and stop the incessant trilling of marimba, but he’s glued to your hip.

“Are you gonna get it?” You ask, smiling harder. Yoongi shifts his head, eyes still closed, and sighs.

“No,” He says softly, assuming you’ve held back a laugh by the way your body slightly shakes.

“We have to get up,” You whisper, flipping yourself over in his hold so that you were facing him. His hand slides up and down your back a couple of times.

“Mm,” He hums, “No we don’t.”

“Yes we do,” You challenge. His eyebrows furrow.

“No, we don’t,” He grumbles. 

Copying his face, even though he wasn’t seeing it, you say, “And why not?”

“Because,” He says, then pops his eyes open and lets out a gentle laugh, “Is that what I look like?” He questions.

“Yeah,” You giggle.

The phone stops ringing, finally. Your brows raise, Yoongi copying your face this time.

“I hope that wasn’t important,” He says, and it’s like the night you met all over again, the giggles were contagious.

“You better check it,” You say.

“No, I wanna do this,” He whispers, dipping his chin down to try to catch your lips in a kiss, but you cowered away from him. You clicked fast, but that didn’t mean you weren’t still embarrassed about completely normal things that happen to humans that you shouldn’t be embarrassed about.

Giving you a weird look, Yoongi tries again, and fails.

“What are you doing, weirdo?” He scrunches his nose, “What’d I do?”

“Nothing,” You reassure him, “I just… woke up, that’s all.” Yoongi deadpans, then gives you the world's most dramatic eye roll.

“Fuck out of here with that, and kiss me,” He says, and that was the last time you were ever afraid to do anything to him, with him, or near him, ever again.

Turns out it was Jin on the phone, he called two more times while Yoongi was peppering the skin of your collar bone with tiny little marks. He didn’t even have anything important to say, he just wanted to know how the sex was, and gave a reminder about the meeting you had to have.

With a, “Great”, and a, “Thank you”, Yoongi hung up and tossed his phone to the floor to continue to drive you crazy. 

“D?” Your voice was quiet as your fingers tangled in his hair. Yoongi picks up his head with a goofy smile.

“I love that you still call me that,” He says. Narrowing your eyes, you start to smile.

“I don’t know if I can stop, it’s stuck in my head,” You say.

“Why?” He asks, gazing at you with something fierce. With a subtle shrug of your shoulders, you take a deep breath.

“‘Cause when you said it… And I finally knew part of you… I knew I liked you,” You say, “Ten days later, here I am.” 

“Twelve,” He corrects with a straight face. Twisting your face in confusion, he laughs at you.

“What?” You squeak, wondering if he read the message you sent to Sunita last night.

“Twelve days,” He repeats himself, “We’ve known each other for twelve days. Including the day we met.” His eyes hold onto yours like they were afraid to miss something, it was absolutely endearing.

“You’re counting?” Your voice is barely audible. Yoongi smiles.

“Maybe,” He says tentatively, seeming afraid to answer honestly. Pressing your lips into a smile just as big as his, you then lean up to give him a kiss.

“Me too,” You say.

Papers upon papers were scattered across a desk in the hotel room of one of Yoongi’s team members, one he was shouting at, standing on his feet. You were already a nervous wreck on your way down here, Yoongi getting angry wasn’t doing anything to help the worry swirling in your gut. 

Sunny and the boys were on their way out of the hotel, you passed by them in the hallway, sharing some uneasy looks without saying too much. Shifty eyes were enough to know you’d all be discussing this later on. Your best friend gave you a smile, a sincere twist of her lips to let you know that you were going to be okay… and a quick glance to Yoongi’s hoodie you were wearing, turning around with a wink.

Clinging to your hand tight, you could feel Yoongi’s frustration before you even entered the suite. He gave a quick kiss to your hand and opened up the door, being greeted by the long, tan and handsome Branson. It surprised you both, he had told you he wouldn’t be here, but after you were introduced to a couple of other men in classy-wear, Branson left the room.

Fast forward to where you are now, staring down at papers titled “Non-Disclosure Agreements” with various contracts, you were feeling sick to your stomach wishing he could come back inside.

“She’s not signing a fucking NDA!” Yoongi shouts, pointing straight at the peach colored papers. The man sitting in the chair behind the desk folds his hands over the wooden top and sighs. On either side of him there were men dressed similarly, leaning against the wall with their arms crossed over their chests. All three of them were giving Yoongi a look of dismay.

“Listen,” The man in the chair begins, his voice deep with age, “If this had been brought to our attention two weeks ago we may have been able to avoid this… Sit down, would you,” He winces and gestures to the chair next to you as he sits back in his own. Following suit, Yoongi flops down with a sigh.

“However, we don’t know what’s been happening since… What, New York?” The man blows air through his lips and chuckles, “It needs to be signed.”

“No,” Yoongi objects immediately. The man in the chair looks at you with just his eyes. You kicked yourself for not getting a lesson on NDA’s from Sunny so that you knew what was at stake here, otherwise you’d be fighting back like Yoongi. It seemed like the end of the world with how he was acting.

He was keeping his cold glare on the man that seemed like his keeper. Looking between the two of them wondering if you should speak up and just ask what it was, you gulp and turn to the man.

“Um,” Your voice is quiet while you speak, fighting through the shakiness, “Does it mean I have to leave?” You ask, feeling Yoongi’s eyes on you, “Because if signing this means I leave and don’t talk about anything with anyone, or, I leave and never talk to him again, or see him again… I don’t think I can sign it.” Your eyes fall to the papers as you feel your heartbeat incessantly between your lungs. One of the guys behind the boss starts to laugh.

“God,” He mutters, getting everyone's attention, “There’s two of him.” He shakes his head as he looks at his boss, gesturing to the two of you on the other side of the desk. Swiveling back around in his chair, the big boss leans forward on the desk and eyes you both with a growing curiosity.

Yoongi, slumped down in the chair, was chewing on his thumb nail still wearing the deadliest look you’ve ever seen him make. 

“What’s going on here?” The man asks just above a whisper. Funny he should ask this when absolutely nothing has been discussed between you and Yoongi. As of right now you were just happy to be going through the motions, experiencing life as Sunny would say. When it came down to it, you had no idea what would come of this, you just knew you didn’t want to let him go, and he felt the exact same way.

Sharing a look with Yoongi’s softened eyebrows, you can sense his panic much like he can sense yours. This was about to be discussed in front of his team.

“Uh-” 

“Oh…” You both stammer at the same time, every muscle in your body tensing up suddenly feeling like you were under so much pressure. Sitting back in his chair, the boss takes a breath and crosses his arms with the tiniest smirk.

“Can we… step out for a second?” Yoongi asks, opting for a gentler tone than the one he was using previously. The man had every right to tell him no with how he was being treated, but he allowed it, after a moment of anxiety ridden silence.

Following you out into the hallway, keeping the lock on the door open so it wouldn’t shut you out, you run into Branson waiting out there patiently. Once he sees you two step out, he rolls his eyes and starts to step away, heading toward the end of the hallway. Depending on how this conversation went, if you were sticking around you hoped your relationship with that man got better. He seemed like a cool guy.

Things were quiet for a second, the walls of the hotel keeping it seemingly soundproof- thank god. You avoided Yoongi’s eyes for a bit though he was unable to look away from yours. Neither of you had any idea how to start this conversation, the way you were standing made it inherently clear. You were on either side of the hallway with about a foot long gap between you, uncertainty just dancing round the open air.

“Is this going to make you want to leave?” Yoongi asks, breaking the silence. Finally looking at him, you frown and scoff.

“What? A couple of mafia looking men telling me to sign a piece of paper?” You joke, “No.” 

He glanced nervously at his shoes before saying, “You sure?” A little smile pricked at his lips. Smiling back, you hesitate, then nod your head. He notices your uncertainty, questioning you with a narrowing of his eyes.

“What?” His voice is quiet.

“Nothing,” You shrug, “I really don’t know what an NDA is…” Cringing, you scrunch your nose and laugh. Yoongi shakes his head, puffing a laugh from behind his lips.

“It means what you said inside,” Yoongi explains sweetly, “You can’t talk about me, any of the guys, the team, what you’ve seen or what you’ve done… Who you’ve done…” Both of you laugh again, stepping closer together. Pulling a hand out of the pocket of his hoodie, you reach for one of his hands and lace your fingers with his.

“Why don’t you want me to sign it?” You look up at him and his sharp eyes that were studying you. He glances behind you for half a second gathering his thoughts with a hard swallow, then focuses back on you.

“Because,” He whispers, “It makes it seem like… Makes it feel like this isn’t real,” Nibbling on your bottom lip, you nod, egging him on, “People sign NDA’s when they hook up with celebrities and shit. I don’t think we… Don’t think we just hooked up…” His voice falls even lower, Yoongi half questioning you with what he’s said.

“Me either,” You say, and he releases a weighted breath in relief.

“I think… At least, I feel…” He gets wrapped around his own words, struggling to pick out what's appropriate to say and what’s not going to scare you off. Smiling, having flashbacks to the day you met, you cut him off.

“I really like you,” You say, and he’s frozen with his jaw agape, “You live a complicated life, one that scares me a little bit if I’m being honest… But it’s exciting, and I’ve loved the time I’ve gotten to spend with you… Three days worth.” Holding a serious face for as long as you could, you giggle, getting him to roll his eyes with a chuckle.

“Oh my god,” He groans, “Are we stupid?” Squeezing his hand, you weigh his question by shifting your body side to side, then nod.

“Probably,” You say to his surprise, and he cackles, tossing his head backward.

“I did not think you were going to say that,” His smile is cheesy as he looks back down at you. 

“But we’ve known each other for twelve!” You counteract, holding up your other open palm for emphasis, “We’ve just spent three of those twelve days together… If that.” Yoongi cackles once more, grabbing your other hand you had out in front of him. He tugs on both of them, pulling you into his chest, wrapping his arms around your back. Resting his chin on top of your head after pressing a kiss there, he sighs.

Holding him tight around his waist, gazing down the hallway at the back of Branson’s alert stance, you feel comfort flood your veins. Crossing that line last night, after limited time together also seemed stupid, but it’s brought you to a place with him that just feels right, like you were supposed to do it. It sealed some sort of deal.

Sex was something incredibly personal, so vulnerable and revealing, and with the potential to turn things for the worst… It created a bond, a deeper understanding of one other. A love that neither of you could comprehend at the moment. You just knew you felt immensely emotionally involved with him now.

“I want more than three days,” Yoongi says, drawing circles on your back over top of his sweatshirt. You could feel his heart racing in his chest, he was telling you the truth. Lifting your chin to look at him, you smile.

“Me too,” You whisper and rise to your tiptoes to press your lips to his with an innocent kiss. Right as you’re about to pull away you feel his fingers tighten around the fabric of the black hoodie as if he’s trying to hold onto you for as long as he could. 

“Then stay,” He whispers with his eyes closed as your lips part from his. 

This part was supposed to be scary. It was supposed to terrify you, make you cower away back to New York City to hide in the safety that was Sunny’s tiny apartment. You expected this to smack you upside the face, tackle you to the ground with panic, but, none of that happens. It’s quiet, and calm. 

Some might say you’re not thinking straight, that you’re seeing the world through rose colored glasses, but for the first time in a long time, your mind has never been clearer. You’ve never been more sure of what you want.

“Okay,” You say after a couple of seconds. Yoongi opens his eyes, giving you a soft look of shock.

“Really?” He sighs, fighting back a smile.

“I think so,” You giggle, “I mean, as long as I can… live like this.”

“‘Course, of course,” Yoongi says quickly, hanging onto everything you say, “I’ll do, I’ll do anything… You just, I just- I want you to be happy. Don’t let this be me trying to convince you, but… I… I can’t let you go.” His voice breaks at the end, his eyebrows squishing in the center of his forehead just below the blonde hair that hung there. 

“Swear to god, if there is one,” He huffs, “I don’t know what the fuck you’ve done to me. The way that you make me feel, it’s intoxicating,” He presses his forehead to yours, keeping his arms around you tight, “Everything in my head goes quiet, and, and it’s just you. I finally feel like I’m okay.” 

The ice cold, intimidating presenting Yoongi you’d met twelve days ago had finally, completely cracked. Over the past two weeks you’ve shed some of his layers, but now… Now you’ve got him, making the future of learning more about him so much more exciting.

“Come on,” You say to him, pulling away to walk back into the hotel room hand in hand, but tugs back, keeping you in the hall.

“What am I saying?” He asks, searching your eyes for answers.

“That… We want to date,” You say with a confidence, one that has him nodding slowly, convinced, “That’s allowed?” The disbelief is knocked off of his face as he laughs.

“Oh, no, it’s not,” He pressed his lips together. Dropping a hand at your side with force, it slaps against your thigh in disappointment.

“D, what the fuck,” You grumble, losing the lovey, perky attitude. Yoongi laughs even harder and leans into your side, grabbing your cheeks to squish them with one of his hands.

“We’ll find a way, I promise you, let’s go,” He says, then guides you back into the room of mafia men who he worked for.

“So?” The man behind the desk asked, glancing down to where you were holding each other's hand. Between that and both of your eager eyes, he sighs, knowing what kind of answer he’s going to get. “What’s the verdict?” He taps his fingers on the wood.

Looking at one another, you and Yoongi take a deep breath together, and you give him a small nod, telling him to let it all go, and he does.

The following couple of days are a whirlwind. After the meeting where you and Yoongi officiated things, you were granted permission to stay with him only if you agreed to sign the NDA out of sheer protection for you both. The men that listened to your confessions, all of them, provided in depth explanations of the reasons why you should still sign the contract.

Yoongi read it three times, making sure neither of you were missing anything within the fine print. The last thing he wanted was for this to backfire in a month.

Sunny was talked to before the team left Los Angeles. There was nothing of importance she needed to sign, other than the paperwork of her permanent employment with Big Hit Entertainment. Turns out two nights of work with the boys was enough to make them want her with them for as long as they were allowed.

For days, you and Sunny reviewed rules and practiced them so that you were guaranteed your stay. Social media was a no-brainer, you weren’t allowed to post anything to your Instagram that was open for everyone to see, and you weren’t allowed to publicly share your whereabouts, who you were with, or what you were doing. Your life was becoming an NDA, but you were having a little too much fun to start to care.

The day after Los Angeles you were flown home to New York to pack again for the rest of the tour. Poor Sunny had to put up with your sappy phone calls to Yoongi, but she definitely enjoyed hearing every detail about her best friends newfound sex life. She started to live through you vicariously.

By July 28th, the two of you were in Mexico City, ushered there personally by a security guard from Big Hit themselves. Your arrival came the day before a show for the boys, which gave you a lot of time to kill. 

While the others spent time like tourists, you and Yoongi stayed confined to the comforts of your room you decided you’d share, spending hours upon hours getting to know each other between the sheets. 

The more time you spent together, the more you realized he was your person. It was kind of unsettling how fast the two of you got so comfortable.

~ July 31st, 2015 ~ São Paulo, Brazil

“You gotta go,” Comes out of you in nearly a moan.

Straddled across Yoongi’s lap on a chair in the dressing room, his hands were underneath your shirt, greedily gripping your waist, pressing his fingertips into your skin while yours were wrapped around his neck trying not to mess up his hair. Sunny’s already been on you once before, you didn’t need that to happen again, she was strict about her work.

“No,” Yoongi groans to your lips, his attached to them hungrily, “Not yet.” Slipping his tongue between your lips, dancing it with yours for a second, he tightens his grip around your body and lifts you up, flipping you over. He sits you back on the chair, not pulling his lips away from yours once. 

Sliding your hands off of his warm skin, you drag them down the front of his body and slip them underneath his longer shirt to tug on the waistband of the pants he was set to perform in. Sensing what you wanted, Yoongi smiles and hums a soft sound against your lips, parting from them. His voice is hushed, and it’s deep and sultry.

“What do you want?” He asks, and you pop out your bottom lip. Pressing kisses to your cheek, down the side of your jaw, Yoongi hums again, a sweet sound that makes your heart flutter. Closing your eyes you unfortunately cannot help yourself and slide your hands into his hair, tugging hard enough to trigger something within him.

“Mexico,” You whisper, and he lifts his head, smirking at the bliss written on your face at the mere thought of what occurred a few days ago, “I want Mexico, right now.” 

“Right now?” He lifts a brow. Opening your eyes, you nod slightly.

“Right now,” You kiss him slowly, pulling away with an obnoxious smack, a sound that stirred all the right feelings. You watch as his brain buffers in real time, totally frozen over top of where you were laid back in this chair. “Don’t need anything else but you, D, promise.” Your whisper was enough to have his lips back on yours with more passion. 

Unspoken, but agreed to, you both worked at each other's bottoms, undoing ties and buttons, getting rid of anything that was in the way, and with his tongue wrapped around yours he teases your entrance with the tip of his cock, then slides inside of you effortlessly. An anticlimactic start, but there wasn’t any time to drag this on. It certainly was no Mexico, however, neither of you cared.

“Fuck,” He groans, his forehead dropping to yours as you release your own gasp at the stretch, “You were serious.” He hadn’t moved yet and your body was already tingling with pleasure, bouts of it erupting within you. A soft smile grows on your lips as your hooded eyes look up at him.

“I thought you’d never do this here?” You tease him, mentioning his disapproval of sexual acts in the dressing rooms. Laughing once, Yoongi takes your bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling it a bit before he releases it and knocks the current thoughts out of your head with an insatiable snap of his hips. Moaning aloud for him, and probably whoever walked by the door, Yoongi clamps a hand over your mouth and puts his lips over your ear.

“Shhh,” He hushes you, “Be a good girl and be quiet,” He says, and when you whimper underneath his grasp, he nearly jumps five feet away from you. Throwing his hand backward, he looks down to you with worry. He’s confused for only a couple of seconds, wondering if he had held you too hard, but after meeting your devilish grin he realizes what he’s done.

“Oh,” He whispers, “You like that,” He smirks, and once you bite down on your bottom lip Yoongi’s gone.

For ten minutes he pistols into you, hand traveling from over your mouth to holding you tightly beneath your jaw while he shamelessly marked up your neck behind your ear.  It was the marks on him you guys had to watch out for, your skin however was free game, and Yoongi didn’t hold back. It was one of his favorite things to do, have his lips and teeth pulling and nipping at your skin, even if you weren’t kissing him. 

Just the other night at dinner with Sunny and the boys it happened during conversation before heading out for the night. In the loud, dimly lit restaurant, Yoongi leaned into you and nipped at your neck, sucking gently where he bit, getting groans of hilarious disapproval from around the booth. Granted, everyone had had a couple of drinks so it wasn’t like anyone cared that much… But it was usually Namjoon who had something to say.

They all honestly had it coming, traveling with a new couple who couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. The seven of them should be thanking you and Yoongi for at least having the courtesy of waiting until you were alone to do anything. Even on the plane rides you’d share nothing more than a smooch, patiently waiting for everyone to fall asleep or get distracted by their own activities so you could finally kiss for a little bit longer.

It was never more than kissing, you guys had some sort of respect, you weren’t animals. Even now, swapping spit while his hand was pressed gently to your throat, you were respectfully keeping the volume down, with the door shut, many many many feet away from the others. At least you thought you were safe here.

You were moments, seconds, miniscule fractions of time away from coming undone, Yoongi could feel it. He could hear it honestly, tuned into how your body reacted to him, observing everything you’d do in these blurry minutes just to know you a little better each time. The way your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders you could find around the collar of his shirt was telling enough, but then the door swung open.

Yoongi caught a quick glimpse of Jin before the door slammed shut, just as fast as it had opened up. Jumping at the sound, having seen nothing of what had happened behind the chair Yoongi was fucking you in, you pulled him closer and held your breath.

“Let’s go! Christ!” You hear Jin shout from the hallway, then his feet shuffle away. Feeling your cheeks turn pink, you find Yoongi’s eyes and the two of you can’t do anything else but start to laugh. It heats back up fast, Yoongi kisses you slowly and gives a lazy thrust of his hips. 

“Finish,” You whisper between kisses, and he smiles.

“You first,” He says, gripping your jaw, getting you to your high within a minute.

Standing side by side with your arms linked together, you and Sunny were in the midst of the crowd of fans watching the boys put on a crazy fun show. Surrounded by people who seemed to adore each member onstage, screaming their names, going berserk whenever they appeared onscreen, it brought such a warmth to your heart.  Memories were created in these venues, unfathomable ones that the guys and their fans will remember for a long time.

Knowing the words to some of the songs now, you and Sunny refused to hold back, taking part in the chaos that was created in these crowds. The music was good, and it brought such joy to everybody no matter how old, no matter how small. BTS made music for the lovers. Music for the artists, music for the ordinary, music for people who were unsure of where they fit in this fast paced, unforgiving world. Without a doubt it was imminent that they made music for people just like them, those looking for the place they belong. Those looking for home, and most seemed to find it every night right here in these crowds.

At least that’s what happened to you.

You’ve never been more content in your twenty-two years of life. Sure, you’ve been to concerts and shows in your lifetime, but you’ve never felt a love like this be manifested within a room of thousands of sweaty human beings, nor has it ever been this strong. There was a connection made between the boys and every person in the room, no matter where they were standing, and the seven of them didn’t leave the stage until they were certain they'd expressed enough gratitude. 

Yoongi was a firecracker tonight, not that you expected any less. Music was his first true love, and it forever will be, and he is not afraid to show it. Though he was more on the quiet side offstage around others, when he gets up to perform it’s as if he’s embodied some sort of charismatic God without a fear in the world. You can practically see the passion flowing through his body when he gets under those lights.

However, at this show, he was all of that on speed.

Three songs into the show, the boys fizzle down to chat it up with the crowd and cause some mayhem together, prompting Sunny to nudge your shoulder and smirk at you when Yoongi starts acting a fool. Unable to keep the smile off your lips, you turn to her, checking your surroundings before opening your mouth.

“Wanna hear something crazy?” You ask, keeping your words between the two of you. Her brown eyes widen, as does her smirk.

“Always,” She sings, leaning into you. 

“That boy,” You point at Yoongi, “Was just inside of me.” Sunny cackles, tossing her curls back.

“GIRL!”

“There's more,” You nibble your lip, smile still brewing.

“Oh my god.”

“That boy,” You now point at Jin, “Walked in on us.” “That's why he can't look at Yoongi,” She claps her hands together after putting the pieces together. Chuckling, you sigh audibly and nod.

“There's more.”

“Good lord.”

“After I finished, he came in my mouth,” You pressed your lips firmly together. Sunny’s jaw unhinges, your words rendering her completely speechless for a few seconds.

“Holy fuck,” She whispers. Her eyes draw back to Yoongi, causing a scene in front of Jungkook who was giggling at him. “No wonder he’s off his rocker tonight, you guys are a couple of nymphos!” Falling into a fit of laughter with her, it’s promptly cut off by the intro of a song playing, one the two of you have grown to love together.

“Hip Hop Phile!” The two of you shout at once, leaving the suggestive conversation behind, shifting into an energy that was going to have you buzzing for hours even after the show was over.

~ August 29th, 2015 ~

Experiencing the life of a pop-star is nothing short of unimaginable. Under proper guidelines and boundaries you were free to explore the places you visited, usually with Sunny, and occasionally with Yoongi when he was allowed to. 

You two native New Yorkers tried and ate an atrocious amount of food, and guzzled down drinks with names you took some time with the waiters to learn to pronounce properly. With Sunny stuck to your side most days, there was an insufferable period of shopping she quite literally drug you through, by the wrist. When it came down to it, you couldn’t complain, there wasn’t an ounce of time spent in the last several weeks that you’d ever speak ill of.

For either of you know, you could be stuck inside the deteriorating walls of her shoebox of an apartment.

Instead, here you both were walking the streets of Hong Kong, hand in hand, shopping in stores taller than buildings in New York. You were having some much needed best friend time, which equated to you spilling stories about Yoongi while Sunny used you as her own personal dress up doll.

Standing in a fitting room, wearing matching sunglasses with a lollipop between your teeth, you have your arms out to the side as she slides a zipper closed over your back.

“And what happened after you told him?” Sunny asks, focused on the maxi dress she had slipped you into. Shrugging your shoulders to give her an answer, she orders you to put your arms down, brows furrowed above her sharpened eyes.

“Nothing really, he thanked me,” You say, knocking the hard candy against the back of your teeth, “I don’t even consider any of those people an ex, so, and, please, he has a few of his own,” Lifting your chin as requested, Sunny tosses a scarf around your neck, one made of silk, “We’re in our twenties, we’re gonna have a bodycount.”

“Mhm,” Sunny hums, studying your appearance, “But you’re the only one who’s got him- put the shoes on,” She points to the ground, “You’re the only one who’s got him like this.” She puts a heavy emphasis on the end of her statement, making you smile.

“Yeah, I am,” You wiggle your brows, stepping into the high heels that were sitting underneath the mirror on the wall. From the pocket of your pants, that were laying on the floor, your phone starts to ring.

“Fuck,” You mutter, muffled by the lollipop. Sunny, who can’t take her eyes off of you, stops you with a palm before you trot over to grab it, and goes to grab it for you. “It might be him, I haven’t texted him since breakfast.”

“Think you can go two hours without speaking to each other?” She teases, slipping the phone from the pocket, taking a peek at the screen. Her amusement drops several levels, borderline plummeting into hell.

“What?” You question slowly, taking the candy out of your mouth, twirling the stick in your fingers. Sunny eyes you carefully before handing it over, and once she does, your gut takes its place in hell as well. 

It was your mother. Someone you hadn’t spoken to in over a month. Someone you should be speaking to daily, if she wasn’t intolerable and a Grade A bitch.

The moment you lodged up with Sunny after graduation was the moment your communication with your parents started to dwindle. Everyday calls became weekly texts, and weekly check ups became bi-weekly greetings. The last time you had actually spoken to them was when you told them you didn’t get the job they wanted you so badly to land, the phone call that led you to meet the boy you were now traveling the world with. Something they knew nothing about.

“They can call me over here?” You ask genuinely, staring down at the screen. Sunny, with queasy brows, nods her head gently.

“Yeah, they can,” She says quietly.

“Should I answer?”

“That’s up to you,” Sunny folds her hands over her chest, watching with anticipation. To her surprise, you actually answer it.

“Hey,” You sigh, a nonchalant tone resonating out of you, one Sunny didn’t expect. Keeping your eyes on your best friend for some sort of support, your tone shocks you just the same, but you're reminded in Sunny’s rich, chocolate eyes, that you’re experiencing life. A life your parents weren’t a part of, one they had no control over. And it was invigorating.

“Oh, no, I’m not in the city actually,” You say after your mother asks if you’re around, because they were both visiting Manhattan for the weekend. With the numbing anxiety of her calling cocktailed with the taste of life you’ve been blessed with, you’re physically unable to stop yourself from speaking.

“I’m not in New York at all,” You let out a sarcastic laugh, nearly taunting them, “I’m in Hong Kong.” Now it was Sunny’s guts turn to drop to the fifth layer of hell, right beside yours. Her eyes shoot open as you continue to ramble back through the phone at the woman who started to raise her voice.

“How was I supposed to know you were coming to the city? You didn’t tell me, it’s not my fault… You could’ve sent me a message, or something, if you cared… Yeah! If you cared!... I’m not telling you who I’m with, and ye-... Yes, I could afford this, I’ve been working… If you reached out more you’d know… You know what… I’ll just talk over you? I’m irresponsible, got it. And heartless, too? Wow, that’s a new one… Keep going and I’ll hang up… Not stopping? Okay, bye!” 

Hanging up, your arm drops lifelessly to your side. Your fixed, empty gaze on Sunny can tell her all she needs to know about what was said on the other end of the line. Shit, she could hear enough just from you repeating it aloud.

There isn’t an ounce of you that wasn’t affected by this call, every fiber in your being was on edge, swallowed whole by a guilt that wasn’t yours to carry. In forty three seconds, that woman was able to break into the parts of you you had learned to lock away over the past several weeks, bringing them back to the frontlines.

In this minute of quiet, you’re subconsciously holding back tears. Sunny, unsure of what to do, steps forward and opens up her arms for you to take if you wanted. She never pressured you, you would come if you were ready.

“Fuck her,” You whisper, repeating a mantra that became a staple in the relationship you had with Yoongi, “Fuck my parents.”

Sunny gives you the smallest smile, and nods. “Fuck your parents,” She says, and you wrap your arms around her neck, breaking into sobs over her shoulder.

“I don’t understand how anyone could be so hurtful toward you,” She speaks in a whisper, rubbing her hand in circles on your back, “You’re nothing but kindness wrapped up in something sweet. You’re also a fantastic liar, where do you work?” She gets you to laugh.

She holds you a while, letting you calm down before suggesting you get changed and head back to the boys. Right as you turn to let her unzip you, your phone rings again.

“I swear to fucking God,” Sunny swears, looking over your shoulder to catch a look at the phone screen, “Oh, answer that, babe.” She leaves the zipper alone for now, taking a step back to give you some space.

Pressing the green dot, you put the phone to your ear and take a deep breath.

“Hey,” You say, timid, with a sniffle.

“He- What happened?” Yoongi stammers, picking up on your tone awfully fast, “Where are you?” 

“I don’t even know,” You answer, glancing up and around at the tiny room you were in, “My…” Trailing off, you look at Sunny in the mirror as she encourages you to tell him what just went down.

“Baby?” Yoongi questions. With another deep breath, you nod to your best friend.

In a whisper, “D, my mom called.”

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[jeysbvck]

give me all of your love (give me something to dream about)

A/N: i have to give a massive shoutout to @mayhem24-7forever, my steddie bestie, for giving me the motivation to write this, for being my soundboard and for being the first person to read it! this is just a sneak peek into what my brain has been coming up with lately, eddie munson is my muse. gif credit goes to the wonderful multi-talented @chaseadrian <3

warnings: AFAB READER light bondage (handcuffs, gag), unprotected sex, f!receiving, m!receiving, slight praise kink, talk of female masturbation, talk of male masturbation, no s4 spoilers.

word count: 4.9k

summary: You had been in Eddie's trailer plenty of times, but never in his bedroom, it was just somewhere you didn't hang out. At first, you didn't think anything of it, unless it was how many people he'd had in there over you, making your jealousy grow. It wasn't like he'd been in your bedroom either, but the more your crush grew, the more curious you were about the sacred room you hadn't stepped foot in. Where he slept, where he got naked, where he...

You didn't want to go to this party, but as usual, you'd let Robin twist your arm. You weren't much of a social butterfly, and you definitely weren't someone who liked parties, but Robin had told you it would be fun, and that it would be good for you. When you combated with how you wouldn't know anyone there, she said it wouldn't matter because she'd be glued to your side all night. Then, she pulled out her ace in the hole and said, "Eddie's gonna be there."

You'd tried to act casual, pretending to begrudgingly accept after the fact, but Robin knew. Despite her little quirks, Robin picked up on everything so quickly, especially when it came to you. She always knew how you were feeling, when you had no idea, and she always knew when something was wrong before you'd told her. So it really came as no surprise that Robin knew you had a crush on Eddie before you did.

According to Robin, she'd realized your Oh moment was during a Dungeons and Dragons game. You, Robin, Steve, and Eddie were supposed to be going to the movies, but instead, you were sitting in the school, spectators to the game that had, unsurprisingly, ran longer than Eddie had previously promised. Steve had fallen asleep, snoring slightly as he drooled on Robin's shoulder. She had no idea, though, she was too busy watching you, not the game.

Your eyes were transfixed on Eddie as he played the perfect role of Dungeon Master. Your face was full of adoration as you saw a side of Eddie you hadn't before; the way he laughed, smiled, and practically danced around the room dramatically, animated and completely in his element. Later that night, Robin casually asked you how long you'd been crushing on Eddie, to which you laughed and outright denied, but your attempts were futile, and you realized - with Robin's help - that you did in fact have a crush on Eddie Munson.

Back at the party, you were currently dancing with Steve, laughing at him as he sang along to the music and forced you to wave your arms around, a clear attempt of trying to make you forget about the mortifying events that led to you and Steve dancing. Robin had somehow convinced you to ask Eddie to dance, and even though you knew it was a ridiculous idea, you did it anyway. You didn't think you could've made it any more clear, your eyes solely on Eddie as you asked, "Does anyone wanna dance? I love this song!"

An awkward silence had fallen over the four of you as Eddie stood there, silent. You could feel the embarrassment seeping its way through every pore in your body, and you mentally begged the floor to open up underneath your feet and swallow you up. Why had you let yourself be convinced to do this? You couldn't blame Robin, you knew it was a bad idea and you did it anyway. But then, wonderfully sweet Steve, who clearly couldn't handle this awkward situation any longer - and who told Robin later on that your huge sad eyes almost broke his heart- cleared his throat and smiled at you. "Well, I'd love to dance." He said, shooting Eddie a look while holding his hand out to you. You reciprocated the smile and took his hand, grateful for his save.

Robin shot daggers at Eddie, annoyed with his idiocy, but he barely noticed, he didn't care. You and Steve were the focus of his attention, enamoring Eddie with the way you were laughing, your head was thrown back as Steve spun you around. He couldn't help but seethe with jealousy as he wished it was him in Steve's place.

"You know they're just friends, right?" Robin said, bumping him with her shoulder, and Eddie scoffed.

"Yes, obviously I know that." He replied, but he paused, then added, "She did wanna dance with him though."

Robin snorted, before replying, "You're an idiot." Eddie finally tore his eyes away from you to frown at Robin and she chuckled as she shrugged. "I'm sorry! But she definitely wasn't asking me or Steve to dance."

Eddie stared at Robin blankly, and she sighed. "Seriously? Look, if you had the balls, that would be you dancing with her, and we both know it. She wanted to dance with you, but you ignored her. Steve only offered because he was saving her from dying from embarrassment! Eddie, it was so awkward, man!"

Eddie stifled a groan and rolled his eyes. He'd had a crush on you for months now and with each passing day, his feelings were growing stronger, like it was choking him, making it harder to breathe. The night he realized was tattooed on his brain; he was on stage at The Hideout, playing a show with his band when he saw you and Robin in the crowd. You weren't hard to miss, not just because the crowd wasn't huge, but because you were both screaming like your favourite band in the world were playing on stage. Not only that, you were both wearing Corroded Coffin t-shirts. When he asked Robin about them after the show, she confirmed that the t-shirts were your idea, and that was when he realized what everyone meant by the Oh moment, because that was his.

"Ugh, shit man, I'm going for a smoke." Eddie mumbled, rushing off before Robin could object or offer to join him.

When Eddie wasn't around you, he found himself missing you. When he was around you, he had to constantly remind himself to breathe, especially when he was on the receiving end of one of your laughs or smiles. He thought about you constantly, when he heard a song on the radio, or when he drove through Hawkins, passing the places you'd graced with your presence. He especially thought of you at night, with his hand around his cock.

The first time it happened, it was an accident, and afterward he could barely look at you, the guilt ate him up inside. But it kept happening, and by the sixth time, the guilt had disappeared. He couldn't help how good the thoughts made him feel, how quickly he came when he thought about your mouth wrapped around his cock, and when he imagined you underneath him, cuffed to his bed, bandana stuffed in your mouth as he slammed into you.

He knew he wasn't being very subtle about his crush - he practically turned into putty whenever you smiled at him - but for some reason, you had no idea. Robin and even Steve had both worked it out, but you were still completely oblivious to the effect you had on him. You didn't think you were special to anyone, least of all Eddie.

But you were. There was nobody else he'd drop everything for, just because they'd called and needed him; whether it was just a chat, or it was a ride, he was there. He never let anyone choose the music in his truck just so he could watch out of the corner of his eye as their face lit up as they sang along. He didn't hang out with anyone else in silence, them reading a book while he strummed a tune on his guitar. Nobody else made him feel comfortable like you did. He wasn't afraid of losing anyone else the way he was afraid of losing you.

He wasn't sure how long he could keep his feelings at bay, and it was killing him. He knew he was pulling away; he was doing it right now, but he had convinced himself it was for the best. Even watching you dance with one of your best friends had him jealous, and he hated being jealous of Steve fucking Harrington. He was beginning to think his options were limited to running away until he'd gotten over his feelings, or confessing and getting it all off his chest. But with both options, he could lose you forever.

Instead of just going into the garden for a smoke, Eddie decided to leave the party altogether and head home. It wasn't like he knew the fucking host, he'd just tagged along after Steve had mentioned, not so subtly, that you'd be going. Besides, he didn't think anyone would notice him slip out. But he was wrong. His hand was on the wooden gate when he heard you call out.

"Eddie Munson, how dare you not tell me you were leaving."

Eddie turned around sheepishly, watching as you stormed up to him, your arms folded and lips pouted, not unlike in his fantasies, making him shift uncomfortably on his feet. "I didn't wanna interrupt, you seemed to be having fun." He replied.

You rolled your eyes. "Well, come on then. I'll come with you."

"What? No, that's o-"

You cut him off, reaching up and covering his mouth with your hand. "Shush, no arguing! Besides, I only came to this stupid thing because Robin said you were."

Eddie was about to lick your hand in protest for silencing him, but instead, he grinned, surprised by your confession. Your cheeks flushed pink as you realized what you'd said, and you removed your hand before quickly walking out the gate. He couldn't help but stare at your ass as you walked ahead, and he groaned as the front of his jeans grew tighter, praying that the walk home went quickly so he could relieve himself.

****

Somehow, instead of going home, you'd ended up back at Eddie's trailer. You had offhandedly mentioned that you were slightly bummed out that the night had ended earlier than planned, and Eddie had quickly invited you back to his. Nothing about this was strange, but, tonight, you'd be hanging out in his bedroom.

You had been in Eddie's trailer plenty of times, but never in his bedroom, it was just somewhere you didn't hang out. At first, you didn't think anything of it, unless it was how many people he'd had in there over you, making your jealousy grow. It wasn't like he'd been in your bedroom either, but the more your crush grew, the more curious you were about the sacred room you hadn't stepped foot in. Where he slept, where he got naked, where he...

You shook your head, hoping it would get rid of the thoughts clouding your brain. For the past few months, you'd been grappling with your feelings for Eddie. Since Robin had essentially confirmed your feelings for him, the adorable metalhead had consumed your every thought. It had gotten so bad that one day, while hanging out with Eddie in his trailer, you spent an hour peering over at him as he played the guitar, watching as his fingers expertly and sexily plucked at the strings. Later that night, you woke up in a sweat from a very steamy dream, in which Eddie's hands were the focal point, one wrapped around your neck as the other played with your clit, just as when playing with his guitar. And now, here you were, in his bedroom, the guitar hanging up over his mirror, the metal posters on his wall, smoking paraphernalia cluttering up his desk.

Eddie appeared at the bedroom door and his breath caught in his throat at the sight of you sitting on his bed, and he watched from the doorway as your eyes made their way around his room, unaware he was watching you. He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms; usually, he'd feel awkward, scrutinized, while someone inspected his room, but he didn't feel that way with you. He was so at ease with you, he never had to worry about whether you were going to think he was ridiculous, or a freak.

"You know, your room is completely you." You said once you had scanned the room and your eyes had found him by the door.

"What does that mean?" Eddie asked, his eyebrow arched.

"You know, the bandanas, the guitar, the posters, the messy desk." You replied, your eyes scanning the room once more for more things to tease him about.  "Wait. Are those...handcuffs?" You asked as your eyes widened.

"Oh, yeah." Eddie chuckled.

"And you've used them?"

"I have, yes."

Eddie didn't think he'd ever seen you blush as much as you did at that moment. Your eyes were huge, your mouth suddenly as dry as a desert, your whole body on fire as your brain and body ignored your silent pleas to behave. You'd never really thought about being restrained, all your sexual adventures had been vanilla, and as much as you knew you liked certain things that you'd never put into practice, handcuffs were not one you'd thought about. Until now.

"Are you okay, love?" Eddie asked, not attempting to hide the shit-eating smirk on his face. You knew how many people he'd been with and with how experienced Eddie was, and you were pretty certain that he'd be able to tell what you were thinking and feeling. Besides, you weren't exactly hiding it well.

"I'm fine." Somehow you had managed to keep your voice steady, and Eddie's eyebrow raised slightly as the corner of his mouth twitched.

"Have you used handcuffs before?" Eddie asked. He knew he was pushing his luck, but he couldn't stop himself. It was too much for him. The way you kept your voice normal, but your body was betraying you, the way your cheeks flushed pink, the way your whole body had stiffened. This was a situation he felt in control of, although he was a little nervous, after all, he never thought he’d be in this situation with you.

With Eddie leaning against the doorframe like that, he had never looked hotter. He was looking at you like he wanted to take you, to ravish you. You were torn. You had thought about this, dreamt about it, fantasized about it. Your body was aching for his touch. But you knew, if you did this, you'd be done for. This was the line, if you crossed this, your friendship would forever be changed.

But you were sick of being that girl. Sick of playing it safe, not rocking the boat, not taking what you want. You were sick of having bland, vanilla sex with people that made you feel just...fine. You wanted to feel like you felt right now while under Eddie's piercing gaze. You wanted the excitement, the passion, the overwhelming desire. And you wanted it with Eddie.

A playful smirk spread as you bit your lip, and before you could stop yourself, you replied with, "Not yet." 

Eddie almost passed out right there and then. He was sure you were challenging him, and he was about to find out. He pushed himself off the doorframe and folded his arm across his chest, before he walked slowly towards the bed, and towards you, sitting cross-legged. He towered over you at the foot of the bed, staring down at you while you looked up at him. His beautiful brown eyes hypnotized you, refusing to allow you to look away.

You had never seen anyone look at you the way Eddie was, his eyes blazing with desire, and everything you wanted to feel with the others, you were feeling right now. Was it worth being another notch on Eddie's bedpost? You knew that if you crossed this line, you couldn't uncross it. But you'd wanted this for months, you pleasured yourself to thoughts of Eddie being buried deep inside you. Now you just needed to weigh up whether this night of undeniable passion would be worth it if Eddie just saw this as a one-night thing

Eddie looked confident on the surface, but as he got closer to you, he was anything but. He knew where he wanted this to go, and he was almost certain that you were on the same page; but if you did this, it was something you couldn't come back from, and he wasn't sure once would be enough. But, shit, he'd been fantasizing for months about you, and what he'd do to you given the chance, and now, well it seemed this was his best chance.

Eddie ran his tongue over his lips. "What do you want, right now?" He asked, bringing his head down to you, his long, ring-clad fingers tucking your hair behind your ear; a simple, gentle gesture that made your heart soar. Your eyes darted down to his full lips that were parted slightly, your breath shaky while your heart smashed against your ribs like it wanted to be free from its cage.

"I want you." You whispered.

Eddie's hand cupped your cheek as he cautiously kissed you. The fire inside you that had been crackling all night ignited, and your hands found the back of his neck as you pulled him closer. You and Eddie toppled back onto the bed, his hand slamming against the bed, his lips never leaving yours.

With his tongue in your mouth, his hand grasping at your hair, your hands around his neck, it still wasn't enough. You pushed his vest off before pulling at his t-shirt, which Eddie complied with quickly, but when you started on his jeans, he stopped you and looked down at you.

"Are you sure? We don't have to do this, we can stop and pretend like this never happened." Eddie said. You searched his face for any sign of what he wanted, but all you saw was concern for you.

"I want this." You whispered, bringing your hand to his cheek. "I want you, Eddie."

Eddie couldn’t take it anymore, and his mouth was on yours again, as he ripped open your blouse, the buttons flinging off across the room. "Oops." Eddie mumbled into your mouth, but you didn't care about the blouse, you just needed him.

Eddie's t-shirt was the next, along with his jeans, which left him in his underwear, and you in an open blouse, with your bra on display, and your jeans. Eddie's hand slipped around your back while yours worked on getting him out of his jeans. But when Eddie unhooked your bra flawlessly with one hand, your concentration dropped as you thought about what else his hands were good at.

Eddie didn't waste any time, both his jeans and yours were quickly discarded, being thrown over his shoulder. He sat in between your legs staring down at you, in awe of how sexy you looked underneath him. His fingers slowly and gently traced a path up your leg towards your clothed vagina, making sure to touch every part of bare skin, but not where you needed him.

With you writhing underneath him, even though he'd barely touched you, he was in heaven. His fingers left your crotch and he dragged them across your hips and stomach until he reached your breasts. His cock, still constricted by his underwear - which left nothing to the imagination - rubbed against your underwear and you stifled a moan. But when Eddie began to knead your breasts; the cold metal of his rings against your hot skin as he pulled and rolled your nipples with his fingers, while he kissed, bit, sucked, and licked your neck, you couldn't keep the moan in any longer.

Your moan made Eddie grind against you harder and in response, you rubbed his cock through his underwear. A small groan got caught in Eddie's throat as his mouth latched onto your neck harder. When you put your hand into your panties and used your juices as lube, grabbing Eddie's cock from inside his underwear, his mouth left your neck as he made the sexiest sound you'd ever heard. You pushed his underwear down with one hand, while your other worked his large, girthy cock, but he had another idea.

"Shuffle up the bed a little." He ordered. You raised your eyebrow slightly but you obliged. Eddie's cock got harder, which he didn't think was possible, as he watched your breasts bounce slightly while you moved. When you were in the correct position, Eddie crawled up your body before he grabbed both of your wrists, bringing them up over your head, clasping both of them in one of his large hands. You could feel yourself getting wetter as you anticipated what was about to happen next.

"You still wanna use the handcuffs, baby?" Eddie asked, his voice laced with lust and you nodded. "I'm gonna need you to speak up."

"Yes, I wanna still use the handcuffs." You repeated. You had barely finished your sentence when he had grabbed your wrists and clasped the handcuffs to them and his bed frame. You instinctively tried to move but you couldn't; the only thing you could do was grab the metal bars on the frame with your hands, and Eddie smirked above you.

"Good girl." He replied, almost making you lose it instantly. He brought his lips to yours and gave you a long, deep kiss before he pulled away and headed down your body, leaving soft, wet kisses in his wake.

When he got to your panties, you lifted your ass so he could pull them off, placing them next to you both on your bed. Once he had done that, he stared at you, handcuffed to his bed in all your naked glory. His eyes slowly trailed your body, from the top of your head, stopping to admire your cunt, glistening with arousal, all for him. You had never had someone stare at you like this, admiring every part of your body like you were a sculpture in a museum. Eddie was making you feel sexy, with the look of a hungry, feral dog in his eyes.

"Open your mouth wider." Eddie ordered, your eyes wide at his dominant demeanour, but you complied. He picked up your panties from next to him, bringing them to your face, but hesitated, silently asking your consent and you nodded as you opened your mouth wider, letting Eddie stuff your balled-up panties into your mouth. Might as well, you thought, I'm already handcuffed to the bed. You could taste your arousal on the cotton and you were surprised to find that it was pretty hot. And judging from the prettiest fucking grin you'd ever seen in your life being thrown your way from Eddie, he definitely thought the same.

Eddie couldn’t take it any longer, and he buried his head in between your thighs, wasting no time with teasing, instead, lapping you up as your hips bucked. You moaned and cursed loudly as he devoured your cunt, pinning your hips down with one arm as he pushed two ringed fingers inside you.

"F-ffuck Eddie!" You moaned, muffled by your panties. He quickened the pace of his fingers, and you silently cursed that your hands were bound because right now all you wanted to do was lace your fingers in his hair and push him closer to you. You settled on using your thighs, clenching them against either side of his head, making Eddie moan into your cunt.

Eddie lifted his head to look up at you. Your hair was sticking to your forehead, your eyes closed, mouth parted slightly, looking absolutely perfect as you tried to hold off your orgasm. But that wouldn't do, Eddie needed you to fall apart now.

Eddie flattened his long tongue, dragging it slowly up your cunt. "You taste fucking incredible, baby." Eddie said, his voice so low, it was almost a growl. His tongue flicked away at your clit while his fingers worked your entrance, bringing you to the brink.

Your orgasm hit you like a freight train; your back arched, your moans muffled as Eddie's tongue found its way inside you as you came apart, your juices coating his face. You were pretty fucking sure that right now, Eddie could ask you to do literally anything, and you'd comply. You lay in a breathless, blissful state as you came down from the high, your nerves on high alert as Eddie kissed your thighs before he leaned on his elbow next to you. He brushed the hair from your face and removed the panties from your mouth, smiling adoringly at you as he did.

"You okay, Princess?" He asked, a smirk on his lips. You nodded as you turned your head to face him, pouting as you did, inviting him to kiss you, which he accepted. The kiss started out soft and sweet, but once your tongue parted his lips and his hands began to roam your body again, you were set alight for the second time.

Eddie shifted his position, throwing his leg over so he was straddling you, a glint in his eyes. You knew you were both on the same page, especially when you lifted your head up, sticking your tongue out, inviting him to fuck your mouth. Eddie obliged and when your mouth closed around him, his eyes rolled to the back of his head as he groaned loudly.

Eddie knew he wasn't going to last long if you kept doing what you were doing with your tongue, he just couldn't bring himself to stop you. But then you caught him off guard when you took all of his cock in your mouth, choking a little as you did.

"Oh fffuck, fuck!" He yelled, pulling his cock out of your mouth. You grinned victoriously as Eddie pulled himself together.

"You alright, baby?" You asked, teasingly and Eddie chuckled.

"I wouldn't be so cocky if I was you, Princess, you're still handcuffed to the bed."

You jiggled your wrists, the metal clinking against the bed frame and you bit your lip. "Hmmm, is that a threat, Munson?"

Eddie grinned, a smile that was very much your favorite, as he lined the tip of his cock with your entrance, his tongue running over his lips. "Oh, it's definitely not a threat." He replied as he slammed himself into you, hard.

A mix of profanities and moans left your mouth as he thrusted into you, and you were sure you were going to have bruises tomorrow. He fucked you, one hand gripping your hip, the other around your throat and it was very obvious; Eddie knew exactly what he was doing, and you knew that once wasn't ever going to be enough. You tried to move your hands again, but you forgot about the handcuffs and you groaned.

"Eddie...fuck, I need-" You couldn't finish your sentence, instead you rattled the handcuffs. He understood, and he pulled out of you, grabbed the handcuff key off the cabinet next to the bed and released you.

Your hands went straight for the back of his head, as Eddie wasted no time, his cock sliding easily back into your cunt, this time you finally pulled at his hair, making him curse. You kissed him, your tongue slipping into his mouth, while he fucked you harder than you'd ever been fucked before. You were in complete ecstasy.

Eddie had never felt as good as he did right now. While buried deep inside you, his hands roaming your body with yours tangled up in his curls, he knew he'd never need anything as much as he needed this to happen again. There was so much more he wanted to do to you, and there was no way he was lasting too much longer now. He knew he could pull out, drag this out longer but honestly, he didn't want to, he just wanted to fuck you until you came.

Eddie began to play with your clit as he fucked you, the metal of his rings cold against you, bringing you closer to the edge, and Eddie could feel it.

"You feel so fucking good." He whispered in your ear, his voice sultry and full of lust, his breath on your neck. "Come on baby girl, come for me."

That was it. The floodgates had been broken, the wave of euphoria washed over you like a tidal wave, moaning his name, as he fell apart with you.

"Such a good fucking girl." Eddie grunted as he rode his orgasm out, before falling flat on top of you, his nose buried into your neck. "My good girl."

Your heart skipped a few dozen beats at those three words, and you were pretty fucking sure you were in love. Not that you'd ever say it out loud, it was more than likely the after sex adrenaline talking.

Eddie moved his head, so he was now lying on your bare chest, tracing random shapes on your arm lazily. You shivered, goosebumps appearing over your body and Eddie leaned over the bed, throwing you one of his t-shirts.

"Are you okay, love?" He asked, repeating his words from before, but softer this time.

"I'm okay." You confirmed before a yawn escaped your throat.

Eddie put his arm around you and pulled you closer to him, relishing in the chance to hold you. "Do you wanna stay here? I'll even make you breakfast in the morning." Eddie said softly, he almost sounded shy.

You smiled, and he was sure that the room got brighter. "Oh Eddie Munson, I bet you say that to everyone."

"Pfft, you think I offer to make breakfast for just anyone?" He scoffed. "Only the ones who do that thing with their tongue."

You laughed loudly and patted him on the chest. "Well, depending on how good breakfast is tomorrow, I may do it again."

"Oh really? A brunch treat? "I very much like the sound of that m'lady." He replied, as his eyes fluttered shut, and the last thing he felt was you pressing your soft lips gently to his temple.

#eddie munson #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #stranger things fic #my creations*

[the-one-where-casey-watches-tv]

The Morning Show episode 3.10 "The Overview Effect"

The season of Alex Levy! It’s been awhile since I really felt proud of a character the way I feel proud of her. It’s also not too often in shows that you get to see a character grow and actually implement that growth. Typically, a character ‘learning their lesson’ marks the end of the story, but The Morning Show has a really unique pacing that does wonders for character development. They all contain multitudes and nuance and flaws and strengths, and that complexity of every individual is the exact thing that fuels the chaos behind this show.

I also think this show is slept on for some reason? I never hear anyone talk about it which confuses me with this kind of cast. From what I gather, it does too good a job capturing all the problems in our society and that’s a downer. I’ve always been impressed by that quality about it, the whole thing would feel silly if it didn’t feel authentic. But for anyone who feels that The Morning Show is just a stressful and sad reminder of the state of US capitalism and media- this season surprised me by building to an incredibly hopeful and empowering conclusion. One all about growth and accountability. I honestly feel like I have a better understanding of what the phrase “doing the work” actually looks like in the context of social justice and power after watching this.

Jennifer Aniston in "The Overview Effect". Image courtesy of The Hollywood Reporter.

Before this season’s finale, my opinion was leaning the complete other way. Bradley, who I’ve always identified with and loved, covered up her brother’s involvement January 6th. Hal wasn’t just there; he attacked a cop- and people were looking for him. Bradley didn’t just discretely ignore it, she doctored him out of footage, lied to the FBI, and continued reporting on the event. To me, she lost all her ethical standing with this, and she continued doing the news for a long time before anyone found out. As Laura Peterson told her, “It’s obscene”.

But then again, Laura only found out about it by scouring all of Bradley’s leaked emails and texts in search of evidence of Bradley sleeping with Cory. Before Alex got involved during “The Overview Effect”, I was rolling my eyes at the both of them. It was screaming ‘liberals who can’t get off their high horse but also aren’t ethical in their own lives when it really comes down to it’. Laura being so insecure about Bradley sleeping with someone when they weren’t even together to the point that she would violate her privacy like that felt incredibly low for Laura. Almost out of character. Her finding out about the Hal situation and her subsequent breakup with Bradley is what catalyzed the climax of this season, but I really wish she had found out some other way.

Nonetheless, I saw a glimmer of hope for Bradley when she resigned on-air. It was dramatic, as she and Alex both often are, but it was a step towards accountability. Losing her girlfriend, her job, and potentially the rest of her career made me feel like she is, indeed, paying the price for her choices.

Something else also happens here that manages to put Bradley’s transgressions in perspective. Paul Marks stops by Bradley’s green room right before what would be her final broadcast, blackmailing her with his knowledge of how the January 6th cover up could blowback on Laura, and telling Bradley to stop digging into Hyperion. “The Overview Effect” opens with Paul blatantly (to us) lying to Alex about that conversation, telling her instead about the support he offered Bradley in that moment.

Paul Marks was a great character addition this season. They planted the seed well that he was ‘not what he seemed’ and had something going on with Hyperion, his independent space company that was working with NASA. Stella had an old friend who tried to blow the whistle, but Stella really straddles the line between empowering from the top down, as she claims to do, and simply playing the game. She scared the friend away, and so enlisted Bradley and Chip to help her get to the bottom of whatever it was that she now regretted ignoring. All we knew for most of this season was that he didn’t assault anyone- he was “too smart” for that- but he sure did something, and absolutely no one would come forward.

Jon Hamm and Jennifer Aniston in "The Overview Effect". Image courtesy of TV Line.

The chemistry between Jon Hamm and Jennifer Aniston is really the thing that made him- and her- compelling. It was so genuine, and his affection for Alex is the one thing about him that I do still believe to be true. I’ll say it, he had great charisma and calming DILF energy. Without knowing what exactly he had done, the smitten part of me wanted to believe that it was nothing. Seeing that side of him, understanding what Alex saw in him, makes what she does in this episode all the more impressive.

Ever since her live resignation, Alex has been texting and calling Bradley to no avail. After her conversation with Paul, the one where he lies through his teeth, Alex decides to go check on her. When she shows up at her apartment, Bradley looks unhinged. Disheveled and manic, Bradley tells Alex she can come in if she leaves her purse and phone in the hall. Alex obliges, and when Bradley gets talking, it all makes horrifying sense.

Bradley admits to everything about January 6th, but then says something else- Paul knew about it too, and in their conversation, he referenced things he could only know if he had been listening to her fight with Laura. Alex is shocked, but, to her immense credit, not disbelieving. Bradley says she’s going home to West Virginia for awhile to take care of things with her family. Alex leaves, wrapping her head around the possibility that Paul is surveilling Bradley- and who knows who else. On the way home, she texts Bradley that getting away for a bit is a good idea, and that she should go back to West Virginia. After a moment of thought, she changes West Virginia to Hanover, a place they didn’t discuss, and hits send.

Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston in "The Overview Effect". Image courtesy of IMDb.

Alex’s little experiment proves fruitful. She gets back to her apartment and tells Paul that she went to visit Bradley. They chat about it, Paul playing a supportive boyfriend. So supportive that he wraps Alex in a hug and says Alex is right, Bradley should get away for a bit, go back to Hanover and recoup. Alex freezes. She doesn’t give herself away though. She agrees, hugs him back, and spends the night sharing a bed with someone that we and she now all know is very scary.

Then she pays a visit to Laura. A plan is formed, but we don’t find out about until the Hyperion-UBA deal is minutes away from going through. Right about as people are ready to start pouring champagne, Alex says there’s just enough time to put a counteroffer on the table. Laura has worked some magic at her network, NBN, and she and Alex are proposing a merger. They will share resources to save costs and form a true journalistic partnership.

Paul is caught completely off guard. He asks to speak to Alex in private, where they round a corner to come face to face with Stella and Kate- the original Hyperion whistleblower. They give Paul an ultimatum- walk away from the deal and come clean to NASA about sending them falsified reports on his rockets- or they will report on everything. Oh also- the transmission break when Bradley and Cory went to space? Not a broadcast issue, Paul cut the feed because the ship’s navigation system malfunctioned. Alex was absolutely right not to get on that thing. Also did this plot line remind anyone else of a certain submersible?

Paul, of course, accepts these terms because the alternative is life-ending, but he’s still flabbergasted at Alex’s turning on him. It’s a little sad, he really did love her and didn’t see it coming whatsoever, but not that sad because he was doing some fucked up shit.

For all of Cory’s heart attack-inducing running around this season, it was Alex single-handedly saving UBA multiple times over. She brought Paul Marks to the table, and she kicked him back away from it. And none of it was selfish. She was so thoughtful this season it blows me away. While Paul and Cory were both leaking scandals like chess pieces, Alex was processing them all with poise.

Billy Crudup in "The Overview Effect". Image courtesy of IMDb.

The idea that all the things that consume a news cycle, that prompt a notes app apology on Instagram and cost people their careers, are, at their source, a meaningless power play by executives with zero genuine interest, is the saddest thought posed this season. It was demoralizing to see Cory drop a bombshell and pretend to care about it when really all it meant to him was a successful board meeting. Knowing that origin of all these scandals, watching Alex, Chris, Mia, and Yanko put so much heart into thinking through these issues of race and pay inequality is just sad in some ways. The people at the top were preying on these ethics, on the outrage, on the news cycles, and people’s careful attempts to do the right thing were the very things executing Cory’s delicately laid plans.

Cory’s last-ditch attempt to reconcile with Cybil to save UBA really cements that all these issues of inequity meant nothing to him. He’ll go whichever way the wind blows. Alex, meanwhile, rejected Cybil’s pleas for allyship and engaged with her just enough to hold her accountable (“It isn’t just an email. You paid a black person less than a white person for the same job.”) She also knew when to take action and when to step back. She interviewed Paul on her own show and I truly don’t think their relationship ever clouded her work, but when Cybil was going to be interviewed, she was the one who arranged for it to be Chris doing the interviewing.

And in the end, Alex didn’t let a trail of injustices cloud her perspective. She was able to put what Bradley had done on the backburner for a moment, and get Laura to do the same, to tackle the wrongdoing of all wrongdoings. She did what Paul was relying on our society not being able to do- seeing through a scandal to its source. And she didn’t do it to save her own job- she was about to get the rebrand of a lifetime- she did it simply because it was the right thing to do.

But she didn’t forget about everything else. Before the credits rolled, Alex was holding Bradley’s hand as she and Hal stood outside an FBI office. Alex tells her it’s going to be okay, that she’ll be there for her, but that she has to do this. Bradley knows she does. This is what friendship should look like. Both unconditional support and accountability. I love this example proving that you don’t have to sacrifice one for the other. That someone can have room for growth, and they can do it by your side, with your support. That’s how we all get better.

Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston in "The Overview Effect". Image courtesy of IMDb.

I’m just so thrilled to see The Morning Show go this way. If you know me, you know I love a happy ending, and this may not be that, but it is hopeful, empowering, and motivating. And that’s what it’s all about, I think.

#the morning show #jennifer aniston #alex levy #reese witherspoon #bradley jackson #jon hamm #paul marks #billy crudup #cory ellison #tv #tv review #tv criticism #laura peterson #julianna margulies

[gvfgal]

Bound- Chapter Seven

Chapter Six

18+, minors get the hell outta here.

A/n: As promised, here’s chapter seven. Enjoy &lt;3

Warnings. Explicit sexual content, sexual situations between reader and another male character, smoking, drinking, swearing, plenty of angst for you.

Word Count: 4k

April 4th, 1977

Nashville, Tennessee

3 weeks later…

The sun warmed your face as you sat on your front porch babysitting a cup of coffee. The morning was as quiet and as still as you were, some type of metaphorical mirror for you to gaze into.

Jake has done nothing but consume your thoughts since you last saw him, and it was times like this that thoughts of him seemed to trump anything else.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

July 22, 1972

Townsend, Tennessee

You gripped your stomach from your painful laughter, doubled over in Jake’s bed as he put a show on for you.

He was completely naked other than the cowboy hat on his head and the electric guitar slung across his front, obscuring your view of his member. On the record player, Elvis was turned up to maximum volume, and Jake imitated his stage presence in an overly dramatic fashion.

“Jake, you look ridiculous,” you wheezed, clutching your stomach harder.

He did look ridiculous. His hair was disheveled from the round of sex you’d finished minutes ago, and his face was flushed red from the heat outside and inside the bedroom.

But he didn’t have a care in the world. Your laughter was like music to his ears, some symphonic melody fit for dreams.

And your smile.

God, your smile.

He’d do anything to see it surface and light the world, even if that meant making a complete fool of himself.

Once the song was over, Jake sat his guitar back on the stand, and leaped onto the bed with you. He removed the hat from his head and placed it on yours, you sat up and struck a pose.

“How’s it look?”

Jake’s eyes dropped down to your bare chest before he looked back at you with a drunken grin, “I don’t think I’ve ever loved that hat this much until now.”

You fell into a fit of giggles as he attacked you with kisses, then he rolled over on his back, pulling you on top of him to straddle his waist.

He was smirking up at you, “so what do you say, cowgirl? Wanna take a ride?”

You could feel him twitching beneath you, and you raised up to your knees, bringing two fingers to rub slow circles on your clit.

“You’re so corny,” you breathed out before biting your lip. Then slowly, you sank down on him. He gripped your hips with rough fingers, his hold so tight you moaned audibly.

Jake’s head fell back to his pillow with a loud groan of his own, and he let you take him to euphoria.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“Hey.”

You jumped so hard that the coffee you were holding spilled onto your lap. Luckily, it had been sitting unattended for so long that it was lukewarm, and you didn’t have to bear the sting.

“Shit,” August gasped, setting his briefcase down and rushing to assist you, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you baby.”

He took the mug from you and sat it on the table, “want me to go get some napkins?”

You stood from your seat and looked at him for the first time that morning. He was dressed for work in one of your favorite suits he owned. It was simple navy, but paired with a crisp white shirt, it made August look like a million bucks.

Just like he did right now.

You smiled up at him, completely disregarding the spilled coffee and your interrupted day dream.

“It’s fine,” you dismissed, “I’ll just go inside and shower.” You walked up to him and threw your hands over his shoulders, careful not to press your front against him, “you look handsome. Headed to work?”

He nodded, and his hands slid around your waist, but he didn’t pull you any closer, “thank you baby, you don’t look so bad yourself.”

You knew he was teasing, your hair was still in the tangled bun you slept in, and your pajamas, of course, were drenched in coffee.

“And you smell good too,” he continued, placing a soft peck on your nose, then your lips.

“Yeah? What do I smell like?”

He took a long inhale into your head, holding it in then blowing it out roughly.

“Coffee. Medium roast, I think.”

You burst into laughter, and this time he did pull you into him, placing a much firmer kiss on your lips, “I love you. I’ll see you later. Hold down the fort for me, okay?”

It was Monday. Monday’s we’re your days off.

He released you and picked up his briefcase, turning to hear your response.

You smiled, giving him a thumbs up, “you got it.”

He grinned back, “that’s my girl.”

You watched as he got in his car and drove out your short driveway.Once he was gone, you went inside to clean yourself off, a feeling of despair clinging onto your back, unwilling to let go.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

After you showered and changed, you began cleaning. If you sat still for too long, you knew your mind would wander back to Jake again, and you refused to allow him to take up any more of your time.

There wasn’t much to be cleaned in the house, but you scanned every nook and cranny you possibly could, finding corners that needed to be dusted or picture frames that needed to be straightened.

Once the house was spotless, you decided to go to the store and pick up ingredients to make August’s favorite meal.

Ever since you’d seen Jake at the bar, you’d been rather distant from August. He didn’t seem to notice it much, but you feeling it was enough to scare you.

You wanted to do something to show August that you loved him, and that you were his.

Only his.

The store run was quick, and you were back with plenty of time to start dinner before August returned from work. You grabbed the mail on the way in, and set everything on the counter to wash your hands.

Once your ziti was in the oven, you settled yourself into one of the barstool chairs with a glass of wine. You tapped your foot along to the Patti Smith song on the radio as you sorted through the pile.

Bill.

Spam.

August.

Spam.

Me.

Bill.

Spam.

Catalog.

August.

Spam.

You froze when you came across an envelope that didn’t look like the rest of them. Your first and last name, along with your address was scribbled on the front in a messy, yet familiar, handwriting, but there was no return address on it, so you couldn’t pinpoint who it belonged to.

Placing your wine glass on the counter, you tore eagerly into the envelope, retrieving the first thing your hands landed on, which just so happened to be a postcard.

Montana?

You frowned as you eyed the snow capped mountain printed on the front, but once you flipped it over on the back, your breath hitched in your throat, and you felt your palms growing sweaty.

There was no mistaking the handwriting now.

It was Jake’s.

Your initial thought was to rip the postcard to shreds. You were doing everything you could to erase Jake from your brain, and reading his words surely wouldn’t help. But you also couldn’t ignore the way your heart was beating inside of your chest on double time, pleading for you to see what he had to say.

Your brain wanted nothing to do with him, but your heart was fighting against the current of rationality for any morsel of him it could get its hands on.

Poor troubled heart, you know we shouldn’t do this, you thought.

You swallowed down all of your doubts and read anyways.

Y/n,

I know this letter is probably the last thing you were expecting to receive, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let things stand how we left them at the bar that night. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since that night, and if I’m being honest, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you for the last five years.

I’ve spent every day since the day I left trying to convince myself that what we had was finished, and there was no chance of fixing it. But after seeing you in Nashville, I know that's not true.You know just as well as I do, y/n, that this thing between us isn’t over. The look in your eyes when you saw me, it told me everything your mouth wouldn’t.

I understand that things are different now, I really do. But I’m begging you, if you still believe somewhere in your heart the way I do that there’s still a chance for us, no matter how small that somewhere is,

Come to me.

All my love,

With hands that trembled furiously, you reached into the envelope and took out the rest of its contents.

A show ticket.

A backstage pass.

A plane ticket. Scheduled for a week from Friday.

You dropped the items back onto the counter and picked up the post card again, staring at the last three lines.

Come to me. All my love. Jake.

Jake…

You blinked, and you blinked again. On your third blink, a tear fell from your eyes and onto the card, smearing the ink and distorting his name at the bottom.

The front door unlocking startled you out of your trance, and you scurried to stuff the papers back in the envelope before running to tuck it away in your purse.

“Smells good in here,” August called out as he shut the door behind him, you wiped vigorously at the remainder of your tears. Moments later, he entered the kitchen with his briefcase in hand and his suit jacket thrown across his arm. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone and his hair was tasseled about his head.

But he was still just as handsome as when he left that morning.

You were leaning back on the counter, attempting to appear as casual as possible, though it felt like the room was closing in on you.

“I’m making your favorite,” you smiled.

You felt like breaking down.

He crossed the room over to you, leaning down to plant a slow kiss on your lips, “have I ever told you you’re the best fiancée on the planet?”

There it was, that guilt again. You felt like anything but in that moment.

“Every once in a blue moon.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Dinner was ready twenty minutes later, and you and August sat across from each other at the table as he ate and told you about his hectic day at work.

You’d only managed to take a bite of your garlic bread, and had now resorted to poking around at your ziti. You hadn’t even looked at your salad.

Your mind was steady fixed on the envelope that waited in your purse. It was as if it were beckoning you, drawing you to its contents, to Jake’s words.

Come to me…

Every few minutes your eyes would flicker over to where your bag sat, but August was so engulfed in his meal and ranting that he hadn’t noticed.

“It’s just ridiculous, you know? It’s like these clowns get in the courtroom and forget all about the freedom to assemble? And it’s bullshit because—”

“August will you fuck me?”

His jaw slackened, and he tilted his head to the side.

“Right now?”

You were well aware that you sounded deranged, but you couldn’t have cared less. You needed something, anything, to obliterate Jake from your mind. The longer you sat there, the longer thoughts of him consumed you. Soon enough, you’d be nothing but a smoldering pile of Jake.

You shot up from the table, and August, even in his confusion, followed suit.

“Right now.”

As you marched over to him, August turned to shove his plate and drink back on the table, tipping the glass over in the process, but he’d worry about that later. He caught you just as you crashed into him, your lips meeting in an ugly way. The kiss stayed sloppy as you wrestled to get his pants down, and he took the chance to shove your shirt up your torso to grab a handful of your tits.

Once his pants and underwear were around his knees, he hiked your skirt up and pulled your panties to the side, and with one swift movement, he thrust himself into you, and began fucking you. Hard. Just like you asked him to.

Just like you needed him to.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You were wide awake that night, watching the ceiling fan rotate above you as you thought about the one thing you were trying to forget.

Jake.

August was sound asleep beside you, his back to you as he snored lightly. You always loved the way he snored, it reminded you so much of…

Fuck.

You threw the covers back and slid your house shoes on, deciding to go out back to smoke in attempts to calm your nerves. Quietly as possible, you reached into your purse for your stash, but your fingertips brushed against something else instead.

You glanced back over to August just as he turned over, and once he settled back into his sleep, you grabbed the letter, and your lighter, and those damned cigarettes and tip toed out of the room to the back door. Once settled, you opened the envelope again and retrieved the post card.

You smoked, and you read the letter. Then you read it again. Then you smoked some more, then you read it again.

By the time the cigarette was finished, you had read Jake’s words a dozen times.

And before you went back inside, you read it again.

Come to me…

When you fell asleep that night, it was those three words on repeat until you woke with the sun the next morning.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You carried Jake’s postcard with you everywhere for the next week, and at any opportunity you had, you were fishing it out of your purse, reading it as many times as you could in the time you had.

You also hadn’t slept much in the last week either. Day in and day out you wrestled with the challenge that faced you, and you were completely torn.

On one hand, you knew it was absolutely ridiculous to even entertain the idea of going to see Jake when you were engaged to someone as incredible as August. He was a great guy, an amazing guy, and he came into your life just when you needed him to, pouring himself like concrete into the shattered parts of your heart, making you feel whole again.

Still, it was a different type of whole. It could never measure to the entirety you felt whenever Jake was in your life.

You felt guilty for thinking that way, but you knew it was useless to try and convince yourself otherwise. Some people just impact your life in more meaningful ways than others, and you can do nothing to control it. Every single night for the past seven days, when August was sleeping peacefully beside you, you’d stare at him, trying not to imagine the hurt he would feel if he knew about the silent battle that waged on in you mind. You’d call on all the higher powers you knew by name, begging them for their forgiveness.

But through all of this, Jake’s words were the strongest force compelling your next move.

Come to me…

And you wanted to, despite everything, and more than anything, you wanted to.

And the more you thought about it, the more you started to believe you needed to.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

April 11th, 1977

Nashville, Tennessee

“I’m going to Montana this weekend.”

It was another Monday dinner, and you’d spent your entire time cooking trying to map out how you’d approach the conversation. You had settled on a much more eloquent delivery, but when the time came for you to speak, that was all you could manage to get out.

August was chewing when your words rolled out, and he froze momentarily, cocking a brow at you before returning to his food.

“Really now? What’s happening in Montana?”

“I’m going to visit a friend… from college.”

You hated the way Jake made you lie to someone you loved, and the irony of it was almost laughable. But you’d just add that to this list of things to repent for. Your next sentence was nothing but strategy. You planned it out this way, hoping that it would throw him off your scent, and it would either work perfectly, or completely come back to bite you in the ass.

You were hesitant as you spoke, “you could come too, if you want.”

He smiled at you, “that sound sounds like a lot of fun, babe.”

Oh fuck…

Your heart began hammering in your chest, but before you could go into full panic mode, he spoke up again.

“But I’m slammed with work getting ready for this hearing coming up on Monday. So I’ll have to skip this trip,” he shoved another forkful of food in his mouth, “but maybe next time, yeah?”

You were swimming with relief, but your face reflected disappointment, “yeah, maybe next time.”

And so it was decided, in five short days, you’d be going to Jake.

Just like you wanted to. Just like you needed to. Just like he needed you to.

You had no idea what to expect when you got there, and this was in no way your parting from August, but you also knew you’d live the rest of your life in regret if yo didn’t get on that plane to Montana.

Who knows, you may get there and realize that five years is just too much time to pass between two people, that too much has changed. But maybe, just maybe, the barren fire that was once you and Jake carried enough embers that it could ignite again.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

April 15, 1977

Kalispell, Montana

Jake waited in agony for weeks for this day to arrive, and now that it was here, he wasn’t sure how to feel.

There was no way for him to tell if you would show up or not, but for the sake of his own sanity, he hoped that you did.

He was staring at his reflection in his dressing room mirror, the sounds of their opening act vibrating off the walls around him. He assessed his reflection, and silently cursed at the way his exhaustion was painted all over his face. Hopefully you wouldn’t notice it as much as he did.

That was, if you even came.

There was a knock at the door that made him pause his daydreaming, and he froze as he watched in the mirror as the door slowly began opening, not able to draw breath into his lungs.

When Josh appeared, he slouched back in his seat, realizing this was another one of his routine twin check ins.

Jake surprised everyone when he hadn’t completely gone off of the rails after Nashville, and while most of them saw it as a good thing, it only worried Josh further.

To him, it was a sign of a bigger storm coming, a storm that he believed even Jake wouldn’t be ready for. So as much as he could, Josh was constantly checking in on his other half, hoping that the storm would never come.

“Sorry to burst your bubble, I know you were looking for her,” he apologized as he shut the door behind him, giving him a sheepish smile.

Josh was the only one aware of the letter. He didn’t see it as the best idea, but he knew when it came to you, Jake couldn’t help himself. So no matter what the outcome was after tonight, Josh would be there for him like he always was.

Jake sighed, slouching over onto the vanity, “she probably isn’t coming anyways, Josh.”

“Ahh, come on brother,” Josh shook his head as he approached his twin, patting him on the shoulder, “you can’t think like that. Gotta stay positive.”

Jake’s eyes found his in the mirror, “easy for you to say, you fucking ray of sunshine.”

Josh laughed loudly, snatching up the unattended bottle of tequila from the tabletop and taking a swig, “so they say.”

Someone from the stage crew knocked on the door, “five minutes till curtains.”

Jake stood now, adjusting the sleeves of his suit jacket, and against his better judgment, Josh handed the bottle off to him.

“You ready?”

Jake nodded with his mouth around the bottle.

“Don’t be nervous, alright? If y/n is somewhere out in that crowd tonight, play like you used to play when you were trying to impress her when we were kids.”

Once they were situated, Josh turned to leave, but before he could make his exit, Jake was calling out his name.

“You think there’s really a chance she’s out there?”

He always asked him the most difficult questions. But Josh could see from the look in his eye that he really needed some hope right now, no matter how fleeting.

He smiled, “she’s bound to be out there somewhere.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

When the curtains fell, and the sea of faces in the crowd were visible, Jake began scanning the venue for your face in particular.

It was dumb, really. There was no chance in hell he’d be able to spot you among the hundreds of people in the crowd, but all he needed was a glimpse, just to know that you were there, and that everything he felt that night in Nashville wasn’t a figment of his imagination.

By the middle of the set, there was still no sign of you, and he was beginning to lose hope. And by the time it was over, Jake was ready to go drink himself into a stupor.

You didn’t come… Of course you didn’t, you were engaged.

You were getting fucking married.

As soon as they were no longer visible to the audience, Jake snatched his guitar from his body and shoved it into the hands of one of the stage grips. He felt a little bad about it, but he’d apologize later.

“Jake, wait!” Josh shouted behind him, doing his best to untangle himself from the mess of cords before chasing after him.

“Would you slow the hell down?”

“She didn’t come, Josh,” he responded as he made a b-line towards his dressing room.

To everyone watching, it appeared as if the two were playing a game of tag, and it earned them lots of curious stares from different crew members.

Josh caught up with him, stopping him with an urgent hand on his shoulder.

“Jake, just calm down.”

Jake swiveled around, slapping Josh’s hand away, “you don’t fucking get it, Josh.”

His tone was venomous, and his eyes were burning into his brothers.

Josh stood taller, crossing his arms over his chest, completely unphased by his brother’s threatening posture.

“What don’t I get?”

Jake was huffing now, but just as he was about to lay into him, a voice pulled straight from the heavens interrupted him.

“Jake?”

For a brief moment, his heart stood still in his chest before pounding back to life with a thrum so hard it could’ve knocked him off of his feet.

His eyes found Josh’s again, with a stunned look that read ‘is it really her?’

Josh glanced over his twin’s shoulder at you, then gave him a nod.

Slowly he turned to face you, your tense body appearing at the end of the corridor, purse clutched tightly at your side.

Even more beautiful than the last he saw you.

She came to me…

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Chapter Eight

Tag list: @jakesgrapejuice

#greta van fleet #gvf #daniel wagner #greta van fleet smut #greta van fic #greta van smut #jake gvf #danny gvf #gvf fic #josh gvf #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fan fiction #jake kiszka #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka fic #josh kiszka #josh kiszka fic

[drusill-a]

I slept on it, and I'm still so disappointed with this episode :(((((((((

In the weirdest possible way, because in theory, I'm absolutely on board with about ¾ of the plot development. We have fantastic acting and exciting, dramatic scenes. The only problem is that everything happened way too quickly and in a completely unbelievable psychological manner.

I feel like there should be one missing episode between this one and the previous one - it could have been brilliant and full of drama.

Imagine this - someone suggests that they can't lose Lottie, so they should make a sacrifice to the Wilderness/feed her with the meat of that sacrifice - and they face actual resistance from a few people!!!!! Then we have a big argument, two factions - people who blindly believe in Lottie's power vs. people who still don’t and who have reservations about murder. And we have a dramatic conflict for a night, the situation becomes tense, the people wanting to kill for Lottie outnumber the rest, so the rest realizes that if they don't comply, they could become targets. We see Shauna's guilt, we see that some group members would like to designate her as a sacrifice for a the obvious reason, and that conversation between Shauna and Lottie isn't deleted from the episode (!!!)

I missed something like that so much. They're really trying to convince us that, for example, Nat, who was never particularly invested in Lottie's cult and WHO AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE SAID TO BEN THAT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN BEST IF LOTTIE DIED, would agree to it without protests????? The same goes for Tai - not long ago, she doubted and only participated in rituals for Van, and in the moment of greatest despair and fear for Shauna's life. She seriously wouldn't have any reservations about the thought that Van could be killed???? Akilah is a kind person who avoids hurting others and also attended Lottie's meditations without great faith, mainly finding comfort in those group rituals - she would plan a murder without expressing much despair?

A few additional powerful scenes could have made this episode fantastic. I really needed a conversation between Tai, still doubtful, and Van (and both of them facing the thought that their girlfriend could die!), maybe a similar scene for Nat and Travis, less convinced individuals coming to the understanding that they either agree or it could be their end, Lottie's girls grappling with the question of whether they believe in their cult leader so much that they would actually DIE for her...

Also, I was eagerly waiting for an explanation of why Jackie's necklace would end up with each subsequent designated victim - and they didn't give us ANY. Even something as cheap as a dream/random vision/words muttered by Lottie with high fever would have been better than nothing. I have no idea where in Shauna's mind the idea of tarnishing her only significant token from Jackie came from in that way. It could have been great, but in the episode it's an empty gesture.

Even a few powerful scenes between the idea of making a sacrifice and drawing the cards could have changed this episode in my eyes to a 10/10 episode. Without them, I watched something that doesn't make sense psychologically from the perspective of many characters :(

#yellowjackets blogging #yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #yj spoilers #sorry for the long rant #I’m just sad because this episode had the potential to be their best episode so far but it completely failed to engage me #and that dramatic game-changing development with Nat and Javi left me indifferent as a result :(

[midnightcreator12]

And We'll Keep Marchin On Chapter 9 - No Signal

AO3 Link

Sorry this is getting posted so late. I pretty much crashed after work this morning and slept almost all day. Enjoy.

---------------------

Donnie hadn’t meant to fall asleep.

He’d let Mikey drag him to bed in the hopes that he would either fall asleep first or get distracted long enough for Donnie to slip away.

Except, between one blink and the next, Donnie opened his eyes to see the light coming through the window had shifted dramatically and…Mikey was still on his shell.

He was passed out and snoring very loudly but he was still sprawled on top of Donnie.

…he must have fallen asleep shortly after Donnie did.

He sighed, shifting a little to see if it would dislodge Mikey.

The small movements didn’t even make him twitch.

Donnie sighed again, “Mikey, get off.”

He only got a loud snore in reply.

“You have three seconds,” Donnie warned.

More snoring and Donnie could feel Mikey's cheek rubbing against his shell as he snuggled further down.

“One…two…,” Donnie braced his arms under him and bucked.

Mikey yelped loudly as he was thrown off and Donnie did give a small wince in sympathy when he tumbled to the floor.

“Oooow, dude!” Mikey popped up over the edge of the mattress, glaring up at Donnie, “You coulda just woke me up.”

“Tried. But you sleep like the dead,” Donnie rolled out of bed, stretching his arms until all his joints gave a series of pops. “Now, if I could get back to work.”

“Seriously?” Mikey jumped up, going as far as to stand on the bed so that he could glare down at Donnie. “Dude, you’ve been going nonstop since we got here! Can’t you take a break and hang out with your favorite bro?”

Donnie patted his belt until he found his T-phone to check the time, “Considering you’ve been holding me captive for about five hours, I think that’s more than enough of a break.”

“No it’s not!”

Donnie huffed, shaking his head.

He didn’t know why Mikey was pushing this, he usually didn’t really care how long Donnie spent cooped up in the lab. Oh, he would come pester Donnie a lot but it was usually in efforts to slate boredom, not concern over how long he’d been awake.

Then again, everyone had been off ever since they left the city. But he could dwell on that later. For now, he’d lost enough time to his forced nap.

So he spun around before Mikey could pull out the puppy eyes and opened the door-

And nearly jumped out of his shell when he was greeted by a shrill beep from Scrap.

Raven was standing in the hall, Scrap skittering in circles around her feet, but she straightened when the door opened, hands folding behind her back, “Good rest?”

“The heck are you doing?”

“Dude!” Mikey scrabbled from the bedroom, shoving himself under Donnie's arm. “Aw man, I’m sorry, I completely forgot! I promise I didn’t mean to but Donnie was going all mad scientist on me and he realllly needed a nap-”

“I did not,” Donnie argued back. “And again I ask, why are you hovering in the hallway?”

“She needed help doing something with my phone!” Mikey explained loudly. “Something about range? Or was it with the TV dish? Uhhh, what did you need again?”

Raven snorted, reaching to ruffle Mikey’s mask tails before turning back to Donnie, “I’m hoping to establish a direct line of communication with the Paragon via your communication devices. That way Rook can give us a more accurate ETA and we can probably consult with Crow on Leonardo’s condition.”

Donnie frowned, eyes narrowing at Raven.

He hadn’t changed his stance. Like he told Mikey, they didn’t need to be bringing in more unknown factors in the already tumultuous situation. There were already so many things that had been completely derailed over the last two weeks, bringing in a bunch of unknown individuals could make things spiral more out of control.

Mikey finally managed to squirm his way into the hall so he could turn big, baby-blue eyes up at Donnie, “Come on dude, if we can talk to them, you can get to know Crow before he gets here to help Leo!”

…huh, Mikey made a good point there.

If they established a solid line of communication he could gather intel about this battalion before they arrived. It would mitigate some of the unknown factors…

Unless it didn’t and the person or persons just spun stories to placate him and lull him into a false sense of security, thus compromising their location again-

A loud snap broke Donnie's thoughts. Said snap had come from Raven’s fingers and she was frowning at Donnie, “Do you need more sleep there?”

“No, what? That isn’t…” Donnie paused. “That’s none of your business.”

“He totally does,” Mikey ‘whispered’ in that raspy tone that was not at all lowered from his usual volume.

“I’m fine!” Donnie snapped, barely resisting the urge to stomp his foot to emphasize his statement. “Now if you’ll both excuse me! I have work to do.”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Mikey lunged forward, hanging around Donnie’s midsection. “You gotta help Ray-Ray!”

Donnie sighed, pinching the bridge of his beak, “Mikey-”

“If I could interject,” Raven stepped over, tapping Mikey’s shell until he released Donnie. “You don’t trust me, that is fairly obvious. But if it gives you any comfort, Crow is very adept at giving field medical attention.”

“And that’s supposed to comfort me because-?”

“Because he can come down in a LAAT by himself, fix Leo up, give you what you need for post-op care and we’ll both be outta here. I’ll even get you a comm tuned into the Paragon in case something happens.”

Donnie frowned, crossing his arms, “I don’t care how good your doctor guy is, there is no way he could perform the type of surgery Leo needs in a North Hampton farmhouse.”

“Full disclosure, I’m not the medic, but I’ve been on cover duty with Crow enough to know a few bacta injections around the broken areas will be more than enough.”

Donnie’s spine went tense, “Bacta?”

“It’s a common gel-fluid. We use it for basically everything. I mean….Crow might want to do the tank but the injections work in a pinch.”

“See?” Mikey grinned. “They have magic medicine already!”

Donnie let out a low huff, gearing up to give a retort.

Only for the door next to him to open and Raph’s head to pop into the hall, glaring at the three of them.

Donnie froze because they had been arguing right in front of Leo’s room. He’d completely forgotten how squished together the rooms were here. Damnit, what if they’d agitated Leo…only, no, if they had Raph wouldn’t be at the door, unless he couldn’t calm Leo down. Why did he keep messing things up-

“Donnie,” Raph grumbled, voice thick in a way that only sleeping could bring on. “Help her send the stupid text.”

And then the door shut again. Likey would have been slammed in any other situation.

And Donnie was left gapping at the weathered wood.

“Big bro said you have to,” Mikey sounded far, far too smug.

Donnie wanted to snap back, even turned to do so while glaring at Mikey.

Only for him to grin and slip around Donnie, “Okay, you two have fun, I gotta make dinner!” And skip the stairs via vaulting over the banister.

Which left Donnie alone with Raven. And Scrap.

The bot trilled from his perch on Raven’s shoulder, antenna swiveling up and down. Raven watched Donnie, face not betraying anything.

She would probably tattle to Raph if Donnie didn’t help. And if she didn’t, Mikey definitely would.

He sighed, feeling the start of a headache behind his temples, “What, exactly, is it you want from me?”

Raven grinned, reaching into her back pocket and pulling out-

“The heck did you do to Mikey’s T-Phone?”

The device had been pried open, a piece of twine had been wound around it to keep the panel forced in place along with a long pair of wires that Donnie knew he hadn’t put there.

Raven at least had the decency to look sheepish about it, “Well….I don’t really have any other communication device available to me. I was hoping to use Mikey’s to establish direct contact but…hardware isn’t my specialty. I’ve always been more of a slicer.”

“Right, which explains why you sliced up one of my T-Phones.”

Raven frowned, “That’s not…look, I can put it back together when we’re done but I was hoping to use the signal from Scrap’s beacon to get a message to the Paragon. Maybe even a call if we’re lucky.”

“Sounds like you have it figured out,” Donnie huffed, turning and making his way down the stairs. “What do you need me for?”

Raven’s footsteps followed behind him, “I have the idea figured out, but I’d appreciate some help with the execution-”

“Why? Can’t you figure it out with your genetically enhanced brain?”

“No, that’s why I’m asking for your help?” Raven picked up her pace when they hit the ground floor so that she was walking next to Donnie. “Normally I’d ask Jackdaw or Commander Verd but…well, obviously they aren’t available.”

Donnie groaned through his teeth as he pulled ahead again to step outside, “What is with all the bird names?”

“Excuse me?”

He stopped on the lawn, turning and crossing his arms, “Crow, Magpie, Jackdaw, Raven? You’re all named after birds. What, did the Kamino-nans have a thing for birds?”

“Kamanonian,” Raven corrected. “And, no, actually. According to them I’m CT-five-eight-three-one.”

That made Donnie pause, “....what?”

“In the Kamino system, I am CT-five-eight-three-one,” Raven repeated. “But they can’t really stop us from naming ourselves or each other. Helped the Generals too…I think most of ‘em were uncomfortable calling us by numbers.”

“Wha-, okay, but-,” Donnie cleared his throat. “But birds?”

“General Ader likes birds.”

“...you all named yourself after birds…. because your boss likes birds.”

“Not all of us,” Raven huffed. “Just…a lot of us…we thought it would be a nice gesture.”

Donnie frowned harder, mind still stuck on the whole ‘my creators didn’t give me a name’ part of the conversation. He couldn’t really wrap his head around it. He named every invention he made, some very literally but he still named them, and those things were mostly inanimate objects. These Kaminonans created entire people and hadn’t bothered to name them?

Raven frowned up at him, then tipped her towards the house, “Sooo, are you going to help me or-?”

Right, “Well, since I’ve apparently been ordered to.”

“I mean, if you say no I can keep jabbing at it solo.”

Donnie scoffed as he started moving again, “You’ll break something…you’ve already broken the phone.”

“I can fix the phone,” Raven argued. 

Donnie rolled his eyes when they reached a ladder that had been dragged down from the hayloft and started to climb, “What were you trying to do anyway? Gut the whole thing?”

“While hardware isn’t my main focus,” Raven grunted as she climbed up after him. “I know a bit. I was trying to link it with the distress beacon, piggyback off the signal. But I’ve…not had much luck with th-”

Something thwacking on the ladder interrupted Raven.

Donnie’s head jerked down, searching for whatever had hit.

He spied a black hockey puck falling the the ground.

“Casey,” he muttered, scanning the yard for said human.

He spied him, a pretty good distance away, standing in the middle of the driveway and casually dropping another puck and lining up a second shot.

“What the he-,” Donnie yipped when the ladder suddenly shook, glancing down again to see Raven had jumped off. He watched, wide-eyed, when she landed in a roll, arm reeling back. Donnie just had enough time to see the puck in her hand before it was sailing back towards Casey and cracked loudly against his hockey stick.

The sudden retaliation clearly surprised Casey as well, because he yelped and stumbled back, tripping over his own feet before losing his battle for balance within a few seconds.

Donnie hissed in sympathy.

Raven stood back up and Donnie couldn’t see her face from up on the ladder but her body language screamed ‘very upset’ as she started walking towards Casey.

Curious, Donnie slid down the ladder and trailed after her.

Raven had adopted her ‘soldier persona’ again, as Donnie had mentally dubbed it. Her entire body went stiff, shoulders rolling back, jaw held up and tense. It was kind of weird, seeing someone that was a year younger than Casey loom over him, a foot tall bot warbling angrily on her shoulder.

“If you have an issue, I’d rather you tell me what it is Jones,” she snapped out.

Casey growled, scrabbling to his feet, “My ‘issue’ is that you’re here in the first place.” He tried to jab his stick at Raven’s chest but she batted it away.

Scrap warbled louder, looking a bit like an agitated bird as he shifted from foot to foot.

Raven moved a hand up to still him as she replied, “Well, I’m stuck here until someone from the two-forty-fourth shows up-”

“We don’t need help from some rando army of super soldiers,” Casey interrupted. “We were all just fine with no help from you or any other space weirdos.”

“If I had a choice I wouldn’t have ended up here,” Raven ground out. “But I’m here now and your commander has asked for my help-”

“Oooo, commander,” Casey mocked. “Raph’s throwing around some swanky title now? You talk him into that?”

“I don’t talk anyone into anything. I just advise.”

“Right, ‘cause you’re just a bunch of stuff some aliens threw in a test tube, right?”

Donnie winced at that. As much as he was with Casey in not bringing more strangers to the farmhouse he didn’t…really like all the jabs about Raven being made in a lab.

Raven didn’t seem phased by the comment. In fact, much to Donnie’s surprise, she grinned, “Stuff in a test tube? That’s all you got?”

The smile threw Casey off as well, because he stuttered over his words.

Raven steamrolled over him, “Buckethead, meat-droid, Republic dog, boy in white, carbon print, cheap knock-off, false Mando, tank bred, ara’gotenir, mindless mastiff, toy soldier. There isn’t a thing you can throw that I haven’t heard a thousand times over.”

Okay, Donnie…had not expected that.

Casey gapped for another moment, eyes wide, then finally seemed to find his voice, “You said your general fights Kraang, right?”

Raven hummed.

“So where. Have. You. Been?” Casey growled, getting right into Raven’s face. “Hm? If you're supposed to be fighting the Kraang, why aren’t you here at Kraang central? Why didn’t your general and your army buddies stop this entire invasion, huh?”

Now Raven drew back, barely at all but Donnie saw some of the anger suddenly leave her at Casey’s question, “I…I don’t know.”

Casey let out a small huff of a laugh, “You don’t know? My dad and sister are trapped in ground zero, one of my best friends is basically checked out and you don’t know why your super cool general didn’t bother taking a look down here? What, she too good for us?”

“No,” Raven snapped. “General Ader wouldn’t have just left your world at the mercy of the Kraang if she knew. We…we didn’t even know about this planet.”

Casey scoffed, “Sure, you didn’t know about it. Or maybe you just didn’t care until you needed somethin’ from us.” Casey jabbed a finger into her shoulder. “So you can drop that whole savior act ‘casue I’m not buyin’ it.”

He didn’t give time for Raven to reply, spinning on his heel and marching towards the barn, leaving Raven and Donnie to watch him from the driveway.

Raven heaved a massive sigh, shoulders slumping.

Donnie cautiously moved to stand next to her, “You didn’t know about Earth?”

“No,” Raven rubbed between her brows. “And based on what Mikey’s been telling me? We really should have. The Kraang seem to have a special interest here.”

“Oh, that’s probably because they technically created Earth.”

Raven paused, hand falling so she could give Donnie a look, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Well, the details are still lost on me but from what I’ve managed to piece together, Earth was supposed to be a second Dimension X for them. Probably to help grow their army.” And April was somehow very involved in that process but he decided against mentioning that.

Raven’s confusion only seemed to get worse at the explanation. Even Scrap was tilting his head like a baffled puppy.

“I…I need General Ader down here now,” Raven muttered, starting a brisk walk back to the ladder. “If they’ve been trying to build their own colonies she needs to know about it. And soon before they perfect the process.”

“Oh, okay,” Donnie jogged after her. “Uh, we don’t know if this is common.”

“They’re trying it once, they’ll try again,” Raven all but vaulted herself up to the roof. “And like Casey said, we should have been here to make sure the invasion never happened.”

Donnie hummed.

He didn’t…fully agree on that but…he wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t want a bunch of strangers to show up on the preverdiable doorstep but…he was curious how Earth had never come up with this general who was avid in fighting the Kraang.

So he didn’t say anything yet. Instead, he went to the jury-rigged contraption that had been tied to the house’s satellite dish. 

He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting but…a tiny silver stick-like device tied to the dish via more twine and with a few wires linking it to the dish’s internals wasn’t quite it. It looked messy, like something he’d turn out of his lab but with a little less rust. Well, and the child-sized raincoat being kept on the roof with a rock.

“What’s with the coat?”

“For when we’re done,” Raven explained as she settled down and pulled out Mikey’s T-Phone. “To cover all the exposed wiring and protect it from snow.”

“Your tech isn’t waterproof?”

“Mine is,” she tapped the stem of the dish. “I don’t know how much your tech is.”

“Right,” Another thing to keep an eye on then.

Donnie carefully looked over what had already been done. It seemed like Raven had hot-wired her signal into the conversion wire for the satellite, thus adding it to the signal that came to and from the TV.

Donnie held out a hand for Mikey's phone…then paused when he looked to the beacon again, trying to puzzle out the best way to hook into the signal.

Raven slowly reached towards it, tapping the side that had been opened up to let her improvised wiring in, “You should be able to just hook that up here.”

“Won’t that mess with the signal it’s already sending?”

“Shouldn’t,” Raven replied. “And when I did it earlier, Scrap confirmed that the signal was still broadcasting.”

Said bot beeped in agreement.

Donnie hummed to himself, carefully attaching the wires where Raven had pointed and turning on the phone.

While he knew no one else used it, Donnie had programmed all the phones to trace certain signals. Mostly ones related to police scanners and Kraang communications but adjusting the parameters was easy enough, especially when he was sitting right next to the source.

He waited a few moments after adjusting before opening a new text chain and sending off a quick message.

‘Hello, this is Lt. Raven’

If the Paragon was able to receive text messages, it should go through and they should hear back relatively quickly.

But a minute ticked by in silence. Then two.

And only Donnie’s message sat on the screen.

Frowning, he rechecked the signal parameters and sent a ‘hello’.

Once again, nothing.

Raven’s leg was starting to bounce against the roof tiles, fingers tapping an erratic rhythm on her other leg as she watched Donnie give up on texts and just make a call.

There wasn’t even a ring, just a series of beeps that Donnie recognized as meaning ‘no signal’.

“Our tech may not be compatible,” he muttered to himself. “Or the T-Phone isn’t powerful enough to make contact.”

Raven sighed, rubbing a hand down her face, “Damnit, was hoping to get an ETA.”

Donnie hummed and disconnected the extra wires from the phone, flipping it over so he could put everything back in its proper place, “Seems like.”

He knew Raven’s team was coming, whether he liked it or not. But it also seemed like they had no way to predict when they would show up.

Heck, they couldn’t even really predict if the beacon was even reaching its destination and not just firing signals into the void.

It only added to the unease itching under Donnie’s shell.

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #lone hunter and turtle #tmnt au #fanfic

[mushroomwillow]

Going over the last year, and the rollercoaster that completely derailed my life, and opened a chapter I never expected to get too. It’s very long, and I just wanted to get it out. Definitely don’t expect anyone to actually read it tbh.

Technically things started October 2022. I went too my then best friend’s wedding, I was a bridesmaid. I met one of the groomsmen, we’ll call him Elora.

That was the catalyst of the beginning of my escape from a 5 year long extremely abusive marriage. I had been trying to find a way out for myself and my daughter for a year + before then.

November 19th 2022 my daughter and I moved in with Elora and his family, the two of us had been dating long distance for less than a month. This happened after a fight with my ex on the 17th, I was genuinely terrified I wouldn’t survive after that fight. I recorded as much of it as I could with my phone hiding in my pocket.

Insert the insane whirlwind of the next year. January 2023 my best friend, whose wedding I had been the bridesmaid in, who I’d been friends with for 18 years ghosted me through an angry backhanded mess. Elora’s entire friend group listened to a horrible onslaught of over dramatizations and lies about my past. Secrets I hadn’t told anyone, stories I never wanted repeated to anyone, least of all to a fresh relationship and total strangers I’d only met once before and had never talked too outside of discord.

I found out that because I had met Elora through her, and him and I immediately connected and continued to engage in the healthiest friendship and relationship I had ever been in, even though it had barely been a couple months, she was furious. Suddenly, she was angry that I hadn’t slept with her and her husband. We had mentioned it, laughed about the idea, and because I decided against it, she had this wave of anger that I honestly and truly did not expect.

I learned that she’d been watching me the last 18 years, going to anyone that would listen and telling them how I was this massive great comedy and dumpster fire that she thoroughly enjoyed watching.

Then I really saw everything about the friendship. In 18 years, I had been abused by my mother, fallen into addiction to drugs, homeless for a couple years, a series of short awful relationships, been through one of the most traumatic periods of my life, and begged her to help me, but always got the same answer. For eighteen years. “Sorry, I just can’t, I’ve got x,y,z going on” (moving to another state with a friend, changing jobs here and there, getting married, the usual life changes most adults go through). And not once did she even lend $5 for a sandwich when I was begging for change on the side of the road just so I could eat.

Elora and I were left with his family, and a couple of my friends that were detached from her. We moved into our own place. He stuck by me through finding a new job off and on, trying to navigate being away from my daughter while she was at daycare for the first time in her life (3 years at that point). His health plummeted. He dropped out of college because of it, also bounced to job to job.

March came, I had agreed to a horrible custody situation because it was the only way I could get through the divorce without having to get an attorney I could in no way afford. 6 months with me, 6 months with my abusive ex husband. We were officially divorced.

Elora’s health was in the shit hole. We both bounced from job to job still. I started processing the utter confusion of being in the first ever relationship where screaming matches, true gaslighting, emotional, psychological, mental, and sexual abuse, were never a thing. We got into disagreements sure, still do, but never once was it a fight. Communication, discussion, space when needed or wanted, complete and utter respect of boundaries, all came naturally. I started to see and question so much about myself. Not in the horrible ways I had before, but a truly enlightening and honestly depressing way that really showed that when put into a situation where everyone around me showed me kindness and respect, I didn’t fear myself. I didn’t get angry like I had before. I never felt like my mind and body were a trap that reacted in fear and violence just to get away and to safety from the onslaught of being told how horrible, insane, angry and vengeful I was. I realized that the voice in my head that had been pleading the whole time that none of that was true, was actually right.

June came. I was forced to let my ex husband take my daughter across the country for the next 6 months. I dealt with my depression by throwing myself into a job that I started out really loving and being very passionate about. I talked to my daughter every day over FaceTime. Elora’s health was still all over the place. My chronic pain got worse.

September I had a patient that triggered childhood trauma I thought I had dealt with, but actually just shoved in a corner to survive everything else I was going through. I had an injury at work as well. Realized that although I loved my job, it was causing too much stress on my body, my head was in a constant state of overwhelm. End of the month, I went across country for my daughter’s birthday. Yes, my ex had made it so that I had to spend over $1000 to see her for her birthday, she was there for my birthday a week and a half later. Elora’s parents went out of their way to join Elora and I in going to her birthday. She went into a bird exhibit where hundreds of parakeets landed on us. She’s terrified of birds, but because I was there with her she did the most brave thing she had ever done in her 4 years of life, and loved it.

October. My birthday came and went, Elora’s family who had only ever celebrated family birthdays, no boyfriends or girlfriends birthdays, made me a meal specifically full of food that I love. His mom even hunted down catfish and tried her hand at frying it. His brother showed up, he barely showed up for other family members. I’ve never felt so welcomed into any family, not even my own. I started therapy. She validated everything I asked about, everything I confided in her. Told me that I had been right the whole time, I had been in a state of survival sense early childhood. That I wasn’t “insane” my mind was reacting in an effort to protect me in the only way it knew how. I also started seeing a doctor about my physical health. He too validated my concerns, completely listened to me and started out the very first appointment with “if you’re ok with it, let’s start at the base line, test for all the things you’ve brought up, here’s some concerns I have we’ll also test for, and let’s continue testing until we find out what’s going on. I don’t think it’s all in your head, we’re going to figure this out. You don’t need to be in so much pain, that’s not right.” He’s the first that’s ever listened to me. My therapist is also the first. I started college, a bachelors in psychology, something I’ve wanted to do sense I was a teen.

End of October, I had a total breakdown and quit my job. I had gone to my boss, explained that by the end of November my daughter would be back and I needed regular hours. That I couldn’t keep getting called in with half an hour notice if I was lucky. She told me “this job isn’t meant for single parents. You’ll have to deal.” So I finished a shift with an extremely difficult and rude patient, texted my boss and said I quit.

November was rapid fire, interview after interview. Elora had to quit the job his parents were proud of him starting, causing a lot of guilt for him. He started a new one that just barely paid his bills. I had just enough to pay my own bills and the ones I take care of for our apartment.

End of November. Elora’s parents pay for me to get my daughter. Totally without ever being asked for help. Flights, hotel, all of it. I ran out of money for bills for December. I had been told no by every job I’d interviewed for.

December. My daughter was with me, I was told I started an at home job, I had a week to get her into daycare and get approved for gov assistance. Just barely got approved in time for my new job. Day of my new job, my daughter having a full meltdown going to her new daycare. I spend the entire day fighting with tech support, finally being told “oh, we sent the wrong equipment, you’ll have to wait for the next training week. Sorry but you’re fired, we’ll get back to you.” I got paid for just that day. Had no way to pay bills.

Unexpectedly, I got a partial payment from my student loans. Enough money to pay my bills, and get my daughter stuff for Christmas, get her a new bed sense she’s getting tall quick and a toddler bed wouldn’t cut it. I had an interview with a place I wasn’t remotely qualified for. They offered me the job. Said they’ll pay for my training, certification, and give me a head start into a career relating to my degree.

I start that job tomorrow. January 2, 2024. Where the hell did 2023 go, how the hell did so much happen in just a year. How did it go by so fast.

Elora and I are engaged, taking that engagement slow, he’s the closest friend I’ve ever had. I’ve never felt safer with anyone, seen, loved, understood. Shown empathy and patience. Supported in ways I didn’t think possible. And just over a year of being together, we’ve still never fought. Disagreements are met with communication, space, boundaries respected, the freedom to ask for advice from others, and a trust that I’ve never experienced before.

I don’t like New Year’s resolutions. However I am manifesting 3 major events for this year. January 2021 I manifested that by the end of 2022 I’d be divorced and free from my ex husband. It happened in a way I didn’t expect, but in a way that truly helped change my life for the better. 2024 will continue that manifestation. Myself, my daughter, and Elora will continue our journey into the best lives we could ever live. We’ll be free from the abuse and trauma that we’ve experienced. Through actual blood sweat and tears, I’ve made it this far.

#mushroomwillow rambles #2024 #abuse #tw abuse #ptsd #tw ptsd

[zalrb]

OTH 2X16 REWATCH

1. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYYYYY

2. How long has Keith even known Jules?

3. “Nathan, none of this means anything if I can’t share it with you” and yet you didn’t ask him to come on tour? People bring their significant others on tour all the time and I think this is what bothers me about Haley’s arc this season, because Haley is acting the way Joey acted with Dawson but their situations are completely different. Joey had been in love with Dawson for effectively her entire life and she’d been his sidekick, his sounding board, his everything so that when they finally got together, she freaks out and wants to figure out who she is without him (and she didn’t handle that well either but I could at least understand what was going on with her even if she didn’t communicate it well to Dawson). Haley and Nathan JUST got married, she even says that she’d always been the dependable one and the responsible one until she married him and she finally did something for her so there is no reason why she didn’t ask him not to come along. She also never explained why she kissed Chris, she lied about it, finally admitted it and left Nathan to go on tour the same night she admitted it and is acting super indignant that he’s not exactly thrilled and it just makes her obnoxious.

4. No but Jeyton is SUPER lusty. Like I’m sure they slept but their scene last episode ended with them making out and their first scene in this episode is them making out

5. “A lot of people miss you.” He didn’t move away. He just ... stays in his apartment in your small ass town.

6. Lmao, Deb and her pill addiction, which was done SO poorly.

7. “Emily Chambers. I haven’t even heard of you” but why would you, Karen?

8. “You’re getting real good at the moody-broody bit, aren’t you? Trying to give Lucas a run for his money.” I swear, people hardly characterize brooding properly. Nathan is WHINING.

9. LOOK AT THEM

10. Sorry but Brooke’s dress is so ugly.

11. Lucas just stays creeping around this house. Who are you, Jake last season?

12. Deb doesn’t even act differently when she’s ‘high’.

13. Aww, Andy.

14. I always find it funny when clothes are like laid perfectly neatly to indicate a sex scene.

15. BAHHHH LOOK AT THEM

16. And that’s another thing I like about Brucas and Jeyton, because of the chemistry of both ships, Hilarie and Sophia do a good job in showing that kind of giddy nervousness, heart-fluttering tension you have with someone you like

and Chad and Bryan give the steely, intense focused stare,

I’m having flashbacks to talking about the stares with my best friend at the time omg

17. Peyton and Jake were like wedding be damned, we’re going for round 2.

18. I love how Haley gets to go on tour, go on TV, have all this fanfare for one duet with Chris.

19. “This is our shot. Nothing else matters.” “Nathan matters!” “Then what are you doing here?” I mean. All the writers had to do was have her be the one asking him to come and him rejecting it.

20. Nathan doesn’t even have to change the channel to get to the one he needs, it just so happens to come on right away! At the exact right time. Haley didnt’t even tell him when she was going to be on TV.

21. Ha, Nick Zano.

22. “Well, well, my son cleans up good” nicely, Dan, your son cleans up nicely.

23. “You look amazing” he’s in a suit, Karen. Lol now I’m thinking of when I answered that ask about men in suits and I was like I watch too many kdramas to find men in suits on American TV shows sexy or dashing

24. You gave this up. FOR LEYTON.

25. Aww, I remember feeling so bad for Nathan here

26. And it’s James’ best acting so far.

27. "Sure, let me help you with that, Emily.” Karen is SO dramatic.

28. THIS DIALOGUE

29. Favourite Breyton moment.

30. LIKE

31. I don’t understand how Jules standing up Keith was a better alternative in her mind.

32. “This one’s on you” no, Dan, it’s still ALL on you since you’re the one who hired Jules in the first place.

33. I know what they were trying to do by having Lucas look at his best man speech but it just looks like he cares about it more than Keith being left at the altar.

34.You kept the ring, Jules? LOL.

35. “What have we done??” Well, Karen, you were the one who called her a whore.

36. I love how much they make Nikki a straight up villain. This is RIDICULOUS

37. I love me some Brucas but, Lucas shouldn’t you be looking for Keith? He’s your surrogate father.

[utterlyinevitable]

I know you'll say they wouldn't do it but this is a what if. Would your MC forgive Ethan if he cheated? Would Ethan forgive your MC if she cheated?

Oh what a can of dramatic worms this is!!

If Ethan Cheated on Becca

If it was just a kiss, she'd be mad as hell and wouldn't talk to him for days (weeks if they weren't living together at that point & it came out that he went back to a private place with them). She's forgive him because it's just a kiss and with the rationale that 'actors kiss random people every day and it doesn't blow up their relationships, most of the time'.

If Ethan slept with someone else and E&B's relationship was in that weird undefined place, she wouldn't forgive him as easily. She'd need time (months maybe) to sort out her own feelings on the matter and how it plays into the bigger picture she had envisioned for her/their future. Eventually, they'd make their way back to one another with intentions well declared and no sexual deviations.

If he slept with someone while E&B were very much in a committed relationship, there ain't no way in hell she would forgive him. It's the biggest betrayal and my girl cannot handle another man - let alone this man - breaking her heart and trust. It'd be the final push in their relationship that completely shatters it. There's no coming back for them. It's over and done. Becca doesn't even stay to hear his entire speech, just packs up her shit and walks out the door for good.

If Becca Cheated on Ethan

A kiss, Ethan could forgive. Unless they were in a well defined relationship and it was with one of her past paramours. Then E would have some serious contemplation to do. Ultimately he would probably ask her a bunch of questions on her feelings for the other person before deciding if he's willing to forgive her and continue their relationship.

If Becca slept with someone during their undefined time, as long as it wasn't Bryce, Ethan would forgive her. He knows it's mostly his fault they are in this weird situation and cannot blame her for acting as if she's single. Because she is because he can't find the words to commit.

If she slept with someone else whilst they were committed he'd be crushed, and couldn't forgive her. For the same reasons she couldn't forgive him - its a betrayal and throws them back to when they were little and watched the dissolution of their parents marriages. If that person was Bryce, Ethan would be livid and it would be a whole thing because why has she 'been so insistent on us building a life together when it's so very obvious you and Lahela are perfect for one another', they'd cut their losses and be done with one another for good.

Ethan & Odette

Cheating for Ode would be like going on a romantic date with someone who wasn't Ethan. But Ode would never cheat. Ethan is it for her.

And Ethan finally has her and won't do a thing to screw it up.

They're besties, partners and friends first and foremost.

#ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #askboxed #choices open heart