Because the “shrodinger’s queerbait” nonsense will never go away, indulge me an analogy (and a long post).
wlw ships are the “made from scratch” cake in a world where we only ever expect cake mix from the box.
Say you have a show where, in the first interaction between a male and female character, there is a red box. It could be a Betty Crocker box of cake mix. Because all it takes is just one smile — one wink — one raised eyebrow— and the fans don’t question it. We’re clearly making a cake here. The box is red.
Meanwhile, you have two female characters building their own relationship that have elements that could build to romance. There are eggs in the fridge. A few more episodes, there’s flour in the pantry. Sugar. Baking powder. Queer fans start whispering…we could be making a cake here. Other fans scoff “you will read into anything. They’re just eggs! Everyone has eggs in their fridge!” Maybe so, maybe not. They are written off as discrete ingredients, nothing to see here.
That red box is still sitting in the pantry. Obviously we’re going with that one, and it’s definitely cake mix. That guy and girl stood next to each other again.
The wlw relationship is now full-on batter. It was a cake recipe all along, but it’s not baked yet. The crowd that wrote off every ingredient is now saying the writers are just going to “squander” that box that could be ready-made cake mix or that they’re being “forced” to bake a cake with the very ingredients the writers deliberately bought and put in their pantry.
Now it’s in the oven, the cake is baking. That crowd will still insist it’s forced, or maybe its actually something else, or it’s rushed, or it’s pandering. Whether the writers painstakingly built a pantry to make the cake they truly wanted or they were cultivating good ingredients and realized they had the fixings for a more decadent cake and went there, it doesn’t matter. It’s still a recipe. One that fans who always have to piece together ingredients had hoped for or saw from the get-go, despite being scoffed at and disparaged. Just because that crowd didn’t see (or refused to see) those ingredients as part of a whole, doesn’t make it any less of a recipe.
And wlw fans shouldn’t have to keep writing essays to demonstrate that the wlw “cake” has all the ingredients every cake mix does, or keep pointing out that fans were ready to believe a cake was being baked when they saw a nondescript box, but that they’ll do anything to discredit or doubt the cake from scratch that’s now cooling off on the counter.
It is partly a function of heteronormativity from the audience in immediately seeing romance in any whisper of interaction between m/f characters and passing off all charged interactions between female characters are sisterly or platonic. And it also comes from writers, who are either being cautious so as not to spook corporate overlords or audiences, or who are preserving plausible deniability.
To take the analogy further, box cake mix is fine! It works! It is, practically speaking, what a lot of folks know by default. I thought I was a Duncan Hines girl once myself. Vanilla cake mix has the ingredients measured out, it’s a safe bet, it tastes like cake.
But it doesn’t mean every red box is cake mix. And it doesn’t make the cake that had to be pieced together from scratch due to censorship, caution, time, narrative build-up, what-have-you, any less of a cake.
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LU BACKROOMS???
This is basically me describing backrooms based on the Chain, one on the safer side and one deadly and how to survive them :]
@trippygalaxy @vio-starzz @mushr0oms-and-m0ss @shadowlinktheshadow @raven-does-artstuff-894 @treasure-goblin idk who cares about this but I spent all day on it-
Time
His first liminal space is fairly safe. You can’t die unless you do something diabolical.
His safe room like would be basically like this
You fall down somewhere, probably on your walk home, but you pick yourself up and see that this is very much not the side of the road. This is a grassy field.
There weren’t many grassy fields where you lived. And even those fields were no where near as expansive as this one.
Upon looking around, you see a giant wall and a drawbridge. You start walking to it, thinking that you somehow fell hard enough to pass out.
You reach Castle Town and get weird glances from many. While you’re scouting the area, you spot a little boy in green picking up random dogs. You look at him weird when he puts one dog down and chases after another one.
The boy catches you staring and with one glance, you’re suddenly in that big grassy field again
So yeah, if bro looks at you, you get set back. After a while, this space will easily drive someone insane. This is because no matter what you do, you will meet him, and you both will meet eyes, and you’ll be sent back to the beginning.
So in a way, Survival Rate: 98% but it’s gradual and you might get out of there before you go insane
For his “You’re most likely gonna die” room
I wanted to incorporate Majora’s Mask into it, saying that the masks are hunting you.
There goal is to capture you and bring you to Fierce Deity. He thinks that you killed Link.
But you didn’t because this little kid who told you that he was who the deity was looking for is literally following behind you-
This kid could be regular young Link or Ben Drowned, though it would change the survival rate massively
Survival Rate for young Link: 67%
Survival Rate for Ben Drowned: 15%
This is because the only way to stop being hunted and/or not die is to present a piece of Link to the deity when you’re eventually caught
If it’s Link, he’ll accept it and call the masks off and you’ll be free to move on to the next hell or, if god loves you, you’ll go home
If it’s Ben, you better be fast on your toes because you’ll be hunted until you die or get out of there.
I want to also want to add that the masks don’t just pop up out of no where when they find you.
You know how you have to follow the music in order to learn Saria’s Song? Don’t do that. You’ll be caught
When they emit the Song of Healing, run, Link/Ben will be right on your trail and even if he wasn’t when you stopped running, he’ll always find you even if he leads a mask to you
I forgot to mention that Link/Ben will give you hints as to how you need to give Fierce a piece of his tunic or hair or something close to it
Also that Link/Ben physically can not get close to FD as they are, as the boy says, “part of the same soul”
Twilight
Idea given from @tiercel13 and @link-posting
That whole game has this unsettlingly warm ethereal quality where it's like- you're comfortable but uncomfortable at the same time and it's so weird
But basically I would say somewhere like a large field that's in perpetual twilight. You've never seen it before but it feels safe and familiar, like you've been there a thousand times. Still, there's something just slightly off, and it prevents you from ever being able to truly relax
It’s a village, deserted in the canyons, it’s wooden houses crumbling with time and weathering
Survival Rate: 100%
I think we all expected this one but you’re being hunted. It’s just you, the flora, the fauna, and a big wolf trying to kill you
It’s Wolf Twi but it’s not wolf Twi. Like, that’s the Blue-eyed Beast alright, but that’s definitely not Twilight. That’s a Wolf hardened by the need to survive. A need to eat.
The thing about this room is that it’s very survivable, but only to a select few people
For people who know how to manage in the woods, who know how to make fires without lighters, who know how to properly cook wild animals without utensils and iron, for those who are experienced in the wilds, they have a much easier time surviving this
But for those who are always inside and have little to no outside knowledge, you’re cooked almost immediately
This is a genuine hunt. This wolf can hear god knows how far, this wolf can track you with even the faintest scent
The only reason why the survival rate is as high as it is, is because it hesitates.
That’s how many survive their first encounter with the wolf, the wolf hesitates to take that final bite
I feel like the only real way to get out of here if to survive for a certain amount of time
Survival Rate: 52%
Warriors
Another idea by @tiercel13 because they are so big brained
For safe it's the castle barracks but they have a completely nonsensical layout
there's random doors where they shouldn't be and some of the actual ones are gone, there's things in the rooms like it's just been vacated but a layer of dust covers everything
It must be vacant right? Those shadows that lurk behind the corners are just you going crazy right? Nobody is here. Nobody is here. Nobody is here. Nobody is here-
Survival Rate: 87%
Idea given by @hyrules-feral-hero
You got claustrophobia? That’s too bad, you’re stuck in a fairy bottle now
You don’t get ripped apart or anything like that
Your death will be slow and painful
Conserve oxygen? There’s no reason to, you’re not going to be set free :)
Survival Rate: 0%
Sky
I feel like being blunt with this one
Safe space is just a vacant Skyloft
No one is around, just the occasional keese and Remlits and rapid Loftwings flying about so watch your head!
It’s peaceful and welcoming and airy but empty.
I imagine that this would bring about some sort of uncanny valley feeling, but that is probably the wrong word for it. Because who lived here? Why are these birds so big? Why are these raccoon cats so aggressive at night?
Survival Rate: 100%
Get Silent Realmed😌
Basically just that. If you don’t know what the Silent Realm is, it’s basically a thing you do in SS where you have to get 15 tears
You have to get 15 orbs, if you step into waking water or a spirit’s light or take too long to get one of the orbs, the guardians will be after you
The guardians are what make this space dangerous. If they catch you, no matter how insignificant the gash was, you will die
You can get these guardians off of you when you get the next tear, but until you get all of them and retreat back to where you started, you are at the mercy of the guardians
Survival Rate: 73%
Wild
Picture this, you just woke up in this weird place so naturally, you ask someone where you are.
“This is Faron woods, are you a traveler?”
“…sure…?”
“Great! I can’t really leave this stable with my condition, so could you do me a favor and give this to my wife?” The old man asked
“…what?”
“She lives over in Hateno, up passed the Dueling Peaks!” He shoves a note in your hands
“Sir I-“
“Thank you so much! Here’s your pay for your kindness!” Upon inspecting what he had given you, you see that this is a bare diamond
You were bringing this man’s wife this letter.
Survival Rate: 85%
Evermean forest, good old homicidal trees, need I say more?
Survival Rate: 95%
Wind
Imagine chilling on a boat with your grandpa but your grandpa is the boat.
Yes, the waters are expansive, you haven’t seen an island in days if at all, but this boat is keeping you company, telling jokes, soothing your nerves
Maybe you should be freaking out that this boat is talking, but his voice is nice so what can you say?
You start to joke around, singing dumb sea shanties, he chuckles with your antics, but keeps moving forward.
The sea is vast, but at least you’re not alone
Survival Rate: 98%
Imagine this: You’ve just been dropped in this random place. Now you’re on a random raft in the middle of the sea
Suddenly, the wind isn’t strong enough to push you forward and you’re on top of a tidal wave
Your raft finally gets back on steady water, but now there’s a shadow looming over you
You turn around and you can even comprehend how big it is
It’s probably the Kraken btw
Survival Rate: 0%
You’re cooked 100%
Hyrule
I’m realizing that a good bit of these rooms are in the woods, well, Rulie’s is no better🤷🏽♂️
Except these woods don’t have anything trying to actively murder you and eat you
These woods have things trying to help you
Little floating glowing grandmas if you will😌
As soon as you fell into these woods you smelled sugar and sweets, you were still very discombobulated from your fall and now you were suddenly in woods?
Soon enough, you’re swarmed by lights of different colors, they ask you if you’re alright, if you’re ok, what is someone like you doing here
Then they guide you out of the Fairy woods, whether that means that you end up in another room or go home is up to god
Survival Rate: 100%
Idea given to me by @tiercel13
A neverending cave slowly circling further and further down. The deeper you go the more it seems to close in, the air seems thicker, and the voices of people you almost recognize begin to echo off the walls, crying for help
This room, similar to Time’s “safe space” is mostly a “you’re going to go insane” rather than “that thing is gonna fucking kill you” :)
Survival Rate: depends how sane you were when you entered
Four
Imagine going on a wild goose chase for coins kinstones in a field with all the pieces hidden in tall grass
Survival Rate: 100% but it’s hell
This is gonna make some people mad but let me cook rq
You guys know Poppy Playtime? The Smiling Critters that chase you? That one clip from the Hour of Joy when they were eating that one guy alive?
That, but Minish :)
Survival Rate: 0%
As you traverse these woods, you realize that there are no animals in the wake. No rabbits, no mice, not even a wolf.
But this forest is littered with the bones of those lost animals.
So basically for backstory, minish got overpopulated and that meant they ate meat religiously. It was enough to feed, but soon enough, they ran out of food and now they’re hungry again
There is no survival here
There are too many Minish and you are locked in their woods
You can here their chittering and chatting, but if they spot you, you’ll only know by the dead silence of the forest
You can try breaking the bones you find on your path, opening the middle so they can smell the marrow rather than your flesh
But you only have little time and some bones are thick
And- wait…who’s bones are these? These are Hylain bones-
Legend
There are so many choices with Legend…
For his safe room, you’re just chilling on the walls. Not in the walls, on them. Your image is planted on the wall. You can move freely, you’re just glued to the wall, 2D
You’ll probably use this to scare the weird people who live around the house who’s walls you currently inhabit.
Survival Rate: 99.9% (Someone played too much and the family who lived there destroyed the house)
You guys no the movie Us? It’s basically that
There are different versions of you running around and they kinda really want you dead-
Survival Rate: 65%
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Wait why does everyone hate brendon urie again?
i was tempted to just say "google it" but honestly panic's pr team is working doubletime to sanitize this bastard so here's a quick primer for those who are out of the loop.
this got long so i’m putting it under a cut. as a warning, this is going to have discussions and screenshots of people saying and doing extremely morally reprehensible shit, including racist, homophobic, and transphobic language, sexual harassment of minors, and more. tread with caution.
i'm also going to top this off with the caveat that brendon has a history of saying generally stupid and casually shitty things that a lot of people have noticed and called attention to, but these were largely unremarkable in the sense that they were the sort of things that i was not surprised to hear a privileged cis dude say. so while that's definitely a factor - the guy has said very shitty, openly racist, gross things, etc., numerous times and on numerous platforms and i do not want to overlook that - i also don't want to pretend like that’s the only thing going on here because there is a lot of other heinous shit at work.
i’m also not going to go into the intricacies of song meanings or lyrics and the like aside from a couple touchstone examples. it’s pretty public knowledge by now that i don’t know how but they found me (henceforth referred to as idkhow, fronted by dallon weekes, who worked/toured with panic for a good eight years as its bassist) has quite a few numbers that take implicit and explicit aim at panic, most prominently the video for their single “do it all the time,” which featured dallon setting fire to all the suits he used to wear on tour with the band. it’s an open secret that dallon was not treated very well during his time with panic, but we’ll get to that. the point here is that i don’t want to focus on conjecture of speculation when we have a wealth of very hard evidence at our disposal.
so let’s get into it.
the real Poop started up late 2019 iirc, when numerous panic fans started passing around stories about zack hall, panic's bodyguard and security guy who had been with the band since the fever era. as the only person who had actually been with the band as long as brendon himself, zack had a fair amount of sway with the fans and was notably very very close with brendon. as more and more people spoke up, it became apparent that zack had done a whole lot of things that i would term as "incredibly fucked up" over the years with people being generally afraid to say anything. it’s been pointed out to me that these accusations only picked up traction around that time; fans have been raising flags about zack’s behavior for years without any reaction from panic’s management.
around this time, discussion began circulating that brendon himself had sexually harassed/assaulted multiple fans (many of them minors at the time). some of these accusations, such as his attempt to solicit nudes from fans, have proven to be way muddier to and harder to confirm, seeing as brendon was allegedly not in charge of his socials for some of this time and one of the people using his handles to solicit fans for nudes was reportedly a former stalker of his, chelsey lynn.
i think it is worth noting that brendon has brought up his history with “stage gay” with founding member, guitarist, composer, and lyricist ryan ross and mentioned that brendon’s attempts to get handsy on stage were not always taken kindly (emphasis mine):
For our first headline tour I would go up to Ryan our guitar player, and like kiss him on the neck or kiss him on the mouth and he would be so mad. I was like, I just want to kiss you bro.
(that’s also the interview where brendon tried to both-sides the issue of roseanne being a hideous fucking racist. so, fun stuff.)
in any case, it took brendon four months to respond to any of the accusations leveled at him and zack. he ended up doing so by filming a two-minute apology on his twitch account (which was locked to subscribers only, meaning it was essentially monetized) [twitter thread summary for those who can't stomach it], only to say that he was just too anxious to say anything and that while zack had been removed from his position, he and brendon would remain close friends. he did not respond to any of the allegations against himself, and proceeded to basically go completely radio silent on all social media until reemerging in 2022 to promote viva las vengeance.
(contrast to this to how speedily he fired touring guitarist kenny harris in 2018 when multiple allegations arose that he was soliciting underage girls. he was removed from the tour in less than twenty-four hours. while the expediency of this was praised at the time, it retroactively raises a lot of questions as to how much brendon and/or zack knew about this behavior beforehand and were simply waiting for a good PR call to do something about it.)
brendon seeing no issues with zack’s behavior and only doing something about it when backed into a corner is very much not a good look, and is suggestive of the possibility that he’s complicit in or at the very least tolerant of this kind of fuckery.
but wait. theres more.
beyond the genuine fucked up behavior, brendon also has a history of severely mistreating his bandmates. we could get into the politics of the infamous schism that split founding member ryan ross (along with bassist jon walker) from brendon and the band’s drummer, spencer smith, but that is its own bag of worms and this post is long enough already. that drama is very well-covered. however, i think it’s worth noting that out of every single member of the band that has come through it, both creative contributor and touring member, the only former member to depart the band amiably was spencer, who took his leave because of struggles with alcoholism. he’s the only one who remains on good terms with brendon to this day, but he’s also technically brendon’s boss at this point since he helps manage the label dcd2, of which panic at the disco is a part.
most apparent and well-documented of brendon’s spotty history with his own bandmates is his treatment of dallon weekes and his wife, breezy weekes, while the former was writing and touring with the band. in that little zack hall clusterfuck above you can see places where breezy talked about being repeatedly harassed but electing to keep quiet so that dallon wouldn't risk losing his job. reportedly they both went to panic's management to put a stop to it, but the bad behavior continued, with both zack hall and brendon’s wife, sarah urie, as propagators. there was public outcry as people insisted that dallon and breezy were making this up for attention. however, eventually former touring guitarist (from 2009-2012) ian crawford (along with his sister), both spoke up to corroborate that zack's behavior (and brendon's enabling of it) were very much recurring issues and were part of the reason that ian left panic in the first place. ian's twitter is no longer active, so all i have are screenshots on tumblr for this one.
dallon has not spoken of his time spent with panic with much fondness. he replaced bassist jon walker in 2009 and contributed creatively on both vices and virtues (2011) and too weird to live, too rare to die (2013). for the former, he was responsible for the concept and album art. for the latter, he got writing credit for all but two of the tracks (casual affair and end of all things), and you can even find an early version of "far too young to die" that was originally penned for one of dallon's earlier projects, the brobecks. the controversial track "girls/girls/boys" (as well as “all the boys”) from too weird was written for dallon's wife, breezy, as a celebration for her pansexuality. the finished product would end up being about an alleged threesome brendon had.
in 2015 dallon stated that he would no longer be involved in panic’s writing process but would continue to serve as touring bassist before departing officially in 2017 and focusing all his efforts on the aforementioned idkhow along with former falling in reverse drummer (and former fellow brobecks bandmate) ryan seaman. while dallon has remained relatively cagey about his time with panic (as is entirely within his rights), he has on occasion commented that he often felt bullied and belittled in the workplace, and once referred to zack hall as "the actual worst person [he had] ever met."
breezy has been more frank about what dallon had to deal with during his time with the band and over time, dallon has been more up front about this as well. turns out dallon was underpaid to the point where he had to take up a second job cleaning carpets while touring with panic, and working side jobs and donating plasma for gas money between tours. this continued well into 2010 and possibly for longer. the ratio was reportedly something like $400 a night compared to brendon's $15k paycheck, so take that as you will.
that's most of what i can remember. i tried to sauce everything i could but please let me know if i missed anything. i also tried to embed the images but doing so kept breaking the damn post cause this is a webbed site so you only get links SORRY
tldr brendon urie is self-absorbed prick who hoards credit, mistreats his musicians, shelters predators, and may very well be a predator himself. fuck him.
also, while i definitely don't want to downplay the severity of just how horrendous a lot of this shit is, in the interests of not wrapping this on a totally down note i do want to mention that people were writing brendon and panic out of the "emo trinity" legacy as early as mid-2019 because everyone hated pray for the wicked that fucking much. after having to endure the musical travesty that is high hopes innumerable times during every single 20-minute grocery store run i was ready to chalk up my dislike of him to sheer annoyance so you can imagine my surprise when i learned that not only was this annoyance justified i wasn't actually hating him nearly enough.
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Actually I'm still thinking about it. Another interesting way in which RvB is anti-war is the way that the Director fills the role of a villain and antagonist (especially in the Recollections trilogy, where he's a faceless villain we never see but is responsible for everything that happens).
In his memos to the Chairman, the Director emphasizes his sense of duty and obligation to the military- he becomes irate for the first time when he feels that it's being implied that he was derelict in his duty... or that the work he did out of that duty is being criticized for being against the military's interests. He also talks about Allison's death in a way I find... interesting.
"You see; I never had the chance to serve in battle. Nor did fate provide me the opportunity to sacrifice myself for humanity as it did for so many others in the Great War. Someone extremely dear to me was lost very early in my life. My mind has always plagued me with the question: If the choice had been placed in my hands, could I have saved her? [...] But, given the events of these past few weeks, I feel confident that had I been given the chance, I would have made those sacrifices myself... Had I only the chance."
The idea of sacrifice is central to the way he talks about his wife's loss, to the way he talks about the war in general. He talks of sacrifice with a sense of veneration- that it's something he aspires to do, that he longs for. There's a few ways we can interpret "I would have made those sacrifices myself"...
-That in Allison's place, he thinks he would have laid down his life too.
-That if given the chance, he would have given his life to save hers.
But most interestingly...
-That he would have sacrificed Allison's life for the continued survival of humanity, if that was what duty called for.
...And personally, I think all 3 are true.
In most war media, the Director's perspective on sacrifice is very common. Sacrifice is glorious and heroic- to die in battle is an honour- and it's the only way to ensure the group you serve survives. This is a tool of propaganda- nobody wants to go to war just for the sake of it, you have to give them a reason that the risk of dying or being permanently disabled isn't just acceptable, but desirable. Beyond that, most people don't want to do things they think are immoral- you have to convince them it's important, a necessary lesser evil. You teach them to sacrifice their morals, too.
The way they train soldiers to follow orders and to kill, is to convince them that they, and the people around them, and the people they care about, will all die if they don't. It's drilled into your head from day one. It's the way they ensure their commanding officers won't shy away from sending their men off to die. The message is constant- sacrifice is your duty, and duty ensures your people's survival.
In the Director's eyes, the damage Project Freelancer caused was his sacrifice. He never got the opportunity to sacrifice himself during the war- so he sacrificed others, as military brass do. The Freelancers- including his daughter. The countless sim troopers. Any people he considered "collateral damage" on missions. And when the opportunity to do so presented itself, he sacrificed a copy of himself- Alpha- and he sacrificed a copy of Allison- Tex.
The very thing that derailed his life- the loss of his wife- he made it happen again. He put her copy in dangerous situations, let her exist in the position of constant repeated failure, created the circumstances that would eventually lead to her death. He put their daughter in deadly situations that nearly killed her repeatedly, provided her with impossible expectations leading to self-destructive behaviours in the name of duty, implanted her with two AI knowing they could cause her permanent harm. He was confident he "would have made those sacrifices himself" because he did.
The Director is the embodiment of the military war machine. As an antagonist, he is a warning against buying into the glorification of sacrifice. He's a condemnation of the idea that one should be willing to do anything to win a war- that duty to the military is the thing that ensures survival... All the messages that are pushed to ensure recruitment and obedience of soldiers.
He's a reminder that swallowing the propaganda leads to you doing terrible things... and in the end, you're a broken man left mourning the losses that you suffered even as you repeated them, convinced that it was all necessary.
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