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lycheedr3ams · 4 months

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König Character Analysis (Part 1)

*image reposted with permission

Part 1: His Past

the first installment of a multi-part character analysis for our beloved König

to convince you guys i know what I'm talking about, just look through my blog at my könig posts. I am confident that I have grasped most parts of his personality and backstory, but I will acknowledge that some of it may be projecting. obviously we do not know much about him, which is the point of this series. i also relate a lot to him

discussion of my interpretation is welcome in the comments, and if you disagree, there's no need to be hateful. he is, at the end of the day, not real

TW: bullying, social anxiety, other mental health disorders

We have very little information on könig's life before the military. his bio includes one sentence, just one, about his past:

König suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life, often being bullied during his childhood.

while this information alone isn't striking, when put into more context of other parts of his bio, it says:

While he hoped to join as a recon sniper, his physical size and his inability to stay still made him an unsuitable candidate.

focus on those words: his inability to stay still. this crucial bit of information, tied to the fact that he was often bullied, leads me to conclude that könig has ADHD. not being able to sit still is not a stereotype, it is a real fact of life for those with ADHD, me included. people with ADHD are bullied much more than neurotypicals (people without ADHD, autism, etc). while each source is different, it is estimated that children with ADHD are 4-10x more likely to be bullied.

it is no wonder why bullying would cause social anxiety, since most of könig's interactions with his peers were negative. as someone with social anxiety, it is horrible. not knowing what to say or how to act, you end up either completely misreading the social context or not saying anything. either way, you can never win.

additionally, children with ADHD receive up to 20,000 more negative messages from parents and peers in their childhood than neurotypical children. because of this, it is common for people with ADHD to also be extra sensitive to rejection, and it can be so strong in some that a new term has been coined called "rejection sensitive dysphoria." research on this issue has revealed that 99% of people with ADHD also have and experience rejection sensitive dysphoria. therefore, it makes sense to conclude that König also experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria (rsd)

an aside on rsd: this isn't just feeling hurt when you're rejected by a crush or feeling sheepish or embarrassed you're scolded at work or school. rsd episodes make you question your entire life, your personality, your worth, and for many can even lead to suicidal thoughts just from a small incident of rejection. it can also lead to the person having low self-esteem, and they are also more likely to perceive rejection even when it is not there. it is an intense and overwhelming experience that no one should have to go through, yet people with ADHD experience it often

so, we've established, based on the evidence i've provided, that König has ADHD, social anxiety, and experiences rsd. i would say that i can't even imagine what König's childhood was like, but sadly I can since i too have adhd and was bullied. being mean is never okay, and bullying is not cute or quirky or sassy. bullying is when someone kicks your books across the floor, steals and destroys your belongings, when they spread false rumors, make fun of you, laugh at you, when they give you mean faces when you ask questions in class, when your only friend is the other "weird" kid who also has ADHD. it's when your teachers constantly criticize you and you get in trouble for every little thing. it's when you just wanted a friend and everyone else knew how to socialize, but somehow, you didn't. being bullied while also having ADHD is an experience i wish on no one. yet könig went through this. just sit with that for a minute. the big scary military man we love was also a child once, and went through this.

sorry to depress you guys, but this is the reality of his character. i firmly believe that könig has ADHD and experiences rsd despite his untouchable and stoic demeanor, and you're not gonna change my mind.

so, that's the end of the first installment. keep your eyes out for more, cuz trust me, there's gonna be more. (also don't forget to sign up for my taglist if you want! link is on my masterpost)

taglist: @osteawb, @sleepystaarr, @vvampir3s, @simpxinnie, @majocookie, @sharkyyyyyyyyyyyy, @marysdelrey, @kybeth5, @chaos-on-stand-bi, @shannonswizzies, @arcadia509, @bloodstoneruby, @cumikering, @skystreamchan, @junkratssheila-09, @kit-williams, @tangerynsbaby, @dreamdiaries777, @royalbxstxrd, @non-satanic-panic, @theweirdchick, @kiyomisan, @maylif, @mortimoshi, @eneiss

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autisticbokutoenthusiast · 6 months

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person who is sooooo normal about ray talks about the end of episode 10, what it confirms, what it introduces, and what it may even promise:

"can you please forgive me?"

starting off with this line.... there is a specific brand of betrayal and hurt reserved for the people who feel like the only ones in the world that can make you feel loved. we've seen ray get angry and even lash out at the other characters before but we haven't seen him breakdown the way he did in the sandray apartment fight. i think i took ray saying that he finally was starting to understand his feelings more in episode 9 too lightly, because it seems he meant more then just "i think i like you too" kind of thing, i wouldn't be surprised if ray realized the love he felt as well, and not just romantic love but the "you've seen so much of the ugliness in me but still stayed" kind of love and, if im gonna be bold, acceptance.

"you can be angry or hate me all you want"

lines like this tell me two things, the first being the guilt ray feels over the way he treats people and the second being how much pain he thinks he deserves for it. though i will say this time it feels different then in episode 4 where ray asks sand to call him a burden, because before he wanted sand to hurt him back (a bit of retaliation a bit of self-harm even) but this time he is asking for sand's understanding and forgiveness. he still thinks he deserves it, but now its more then just asking for someone to hurt you in order to reconcile (we will get to the fact sand isn't really there don't worry) there is a sort of emotional growth is what im trying to say.

"i know now that you want nothing from me"

this is also such a huge line for me. we know ray views himself as worthless, he would rationalize why anyone would want him (this is why he was so hurt about sand accepting money from his dad but that's already been meta'd to death so i won't get into that), so him not only thinking but verbalizing that sand is someone who is kind to him without expecting anything in return is huge for ray's ability to see himself as more than a burden or his father's money. in fact, i'd say him admitting this here means he is already beginning to gain a sense of self-worth.

"though i've been nothing but an asshole to you, you are always there for me"

this is the part where we really see ray break. im not good at reading other people's emotions so im not gonna comment on what emotions the actor is trying to portray (tho he is portraying some big ones goddamn), from a text stand point, im interpereting this as pain. I talked before a bit about guilt but i'd say at this moment the realization that someone can care for him so deeply that the parts of himself he's sure are not only unlovable but hurtful won't drive them away, causes him a lot of pain. as someone who is bad feeling cared for or appreciated as a person and sometimes acts like a dick about it, i too would break apart at this moment.

"please understand me"

now this is the line that inspired this post in the first place. he struggles with the connections he has with others but you can see how lonely this man is. like he has been told he is a burden, he interperets his life events and the way other people treat him as proof he is fundamentally unlovable and bad luck for anyone he gets close to, and he is a self-fulfilling prophecy about it.

when he asks sand to understand him he's asking sand to look deeper then his self-sabotoging and attachment issues and see the love and care he has that he struggles to understand and feel and express. he is filled with so much pain how could it not start to infect everyone around him, but from what we see of him, he probably never wanted to hurt other people in this way to begin with.

i think the reason this line specifically broke my heart is that, so much of his behavior at times can be interpreted as a subconscious cry for help, help he won't except but help he needs anyway. i knew any arc involving ray addressing his addiction would destroy me because there is the pain experiencing the things i mentioned above, the pain in thinking you're helpless to them, and then the pain in doing what it takes to try to move forward from them, like this shit is hard. the clarity ray is able to adress imaginary sand with is so incredible even though its in his head, especially given how stubborn he'd been about admitting any issues in the first place.

"being with me requires some patience"

all that i said above and more... i don't think ray will get over that feeling of being a burden any time soon if he ever does because it becomes so ingrained in your worldview and the way you interpret other people's behavior. i like the way this line is phrased (i know its a translation but still) because it alludes to him feeling that he is capable of being loved, it'll be hard but not impossible.

"but if you don't want to put up with me anymore, that's alright. i get you"

remember how i just said i think he now believes he's lovable... well actually i still mean it. he's been constantly told and shown how his behaviour and mentality are hard to deal with, like he thinks his existence is so burdensome it killed his own mother BUT he now knows sand is different. he won't blame sand for not wanting to deal with him, he's always been aware of his shortcomings but can now honestly address the effect his actions have on others, and at the same time he knows that its possible to care for him.

this is why i think sand is his motivation for going to rehab, he's shown ray what is possible for him in ways no one else before sand has.

"but please know this"

there is something so special about the impact sand has had on ray that i think goes beyond their relationship. sand made ray see the value in having a future, in being loved, in being happy. in episode 8 ray tells sand that he's finally happy when they spend time together, and it may seem like he's repeating it here but again this sand is imaginary. he's not saying this to get sand to answer his texts or hang out with him. he's imagining his reason for wanting to recover from addiction. like the weight this scene carries at least triples for me everytime i remember sand isn't really there. this was such a beautiful choice to make imo like ray saying these things to sand would probably be good for their relationship but it wouldn't have the same impact on ray's character arc.

my conclusion is once again don't know why i rambled on besides, ray as character was manufactured in a lab to drive me insane. like i've triggered my mood disorder twice over the course of watching this show but i wouldn't take it back for even a second. i love ray, i love what we've seen of his mentality and backstory, i love that we're seeing him making the decision to address his addiction, i go numb with the thought of where his arc will go next, but i especially love seeing everyone come together to scream about this character that means so much to me (not at all subtle reference to the fact i've read hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone by @jgyapologism what three? times now) anyway hope we all continue to scream about him this week. 🫡🫡

#only friends the series #only friends meta #sandray #oh ray #ray only friends #ray pakorn #only friend analysis #ofts

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ms-demeanor · 8 months

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I appreciate your calm-the-fuck-down post a lot, ngl - from following you, I've seen you have a pretty good handle on understanding what ToS does and doesn't say, and are good at explaining the difference - and I was hoping you could give some insight on whether or not the actually clicking the 'I agree to terms of service' button (note: multi-step process) required to turn off the New! flag makes a difference in the level of data collected - I would expect at the very least it would act as a gateway for whether or not user data is shared with the third party integration, but legalese isn't my field of study.

Agreeing to the ToS to get the little notification thing to turn off would allow tumblr live to share the data that it collects with 3rd party apps and would allow tumblr live to collect location data from your device whether or not you are actively using the app; whether you want to do this is up to you. I do generally recommend having location tracking shut off at a device level, which makes this data collection pretty useless, but I recognize that most people don't have location tracking turned off on their phones.

*HOWEVER*

People are talking about doing this to turn off the New! flag (which IS very annoying) but the most recent post from @changes makes it clear that that is an ongoing bug they are working on; Tumblr has been pretty decent recently about following up on the info they post about on the changes blog and I see no reason to believe that they won't get that bug fixed pretty quickly.

Rather than agree to the ToS I would suggest waiting a few days because I very much doubt that will stick around for long.

And this is not directed at you but I want to use this ask to point to another recent example of tumblr conspiracism: people are seeing the "new" flag as tumblr attempting to force users to agree to the live ToS even as they have offered a longer snooze period and saying that one negates the other - this is being interpreted as malice and a dark pattern and user hostile design.

And I just want to remind people that some time between eight months and a year and a half ago the notifications changed and it was briefly impossible to clear the new flag on the notification button - this is an issue that we've seen tumblr have before with "new" flags after they changed a feature. It's something that people yelled about and sent around guides for blocking the element. It's something that was addressed quickly and was done unintentionally.

I really wish people would stop attributing to malice the bullshit that happens at tumblr that is clearly the result of this website being hilariously broken and held together with hope and chewing gum.

There are ways in which this site is broken that does genuine harm and I'm willing to be cautiously optimistic that the new staff crew is taking steps to fix it (this is about blocked tags; I've been following what various staff members say about this and I have seen small positive steps, staff does seem to be making an effort to unfuck the tags and I can respect that while still being frustrated that it's taking so long). It isn't *good* that the site is held together with chewing gum and hope but it does seem like staff is at least trying to add some popsicle sticks and duct tape to that mix.

The new flag is annoying and I hope they get it fixed quickly and I believe they actually will get it fixed quickly; if you're really bothered by it there's not much harm in accepting the live ToS because the data collected by tumblr live is still pretty minimal compared to most other social media apps, but from a paranoid "fuck all this bullshit" perspective accepting the Live TOS doesn't do much harm at all if you have location data off on your devices (which I think everyone should) and use adblockers (which I think everyone should).

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sugar-grigri · 3 months

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I think I remember you making references to Fire Punch in a few analysis post so I assume you've read that one, but have you read Goodbye Eri, and if so do you have any particular thoughts you want to share on it? It might be my favorite, although it's hard to rank Fujimoto's works because there's something different I like about all of them.

Hi Yuta! or is it Fujimoto?

2022, Goodbye Eri is released and I'm in for a huge slap in the face! I've finally got the chance to talk about it, so thank you!

It's hard to come after the war after this one-shot has been the subject of so much analysis, interpretation and criticism. But I think it's a work that's deliberately designed to be a trap, and the first mistake would be to try absolutely hard to determine whether Goodbye Eri is true or false.

Trying to detect the true and the false is futile, not that it's really impossible, but arguments could be several pages long and the theories put forward would remain mere hypotheses because no explicit confirmation is given. Quite simply because this is not the aim of the work, nor a satisfactory way of reading it.

For example, when Yuta's father seems to be getting angry with Eri, we understand from Eri's "And Cut!!!" that it was all a set-up. So, as a good reader, we can only assume that what follows is pure reality. However, the father, now an actor, if he should play his line differently.

As another illustration, when Eri is close to death and Yuta are talking, there are a few hints that they might have a relationship, but this is denied by Yuta himself, in a discussion with Eri's friend.

The film plays with this to such an extent that all sorts of theories are possible. It could just as easily be interpreted as there being only two films (on Yuta's mother and then on Eri's death), two films but in different ways: one about Yuta's mother and a second film about Eri, as a vampire, with the end scene played by Yuta's father and by Eri before her death.

This explains why, even after Eri's death, Yuta continues to film because the film isn't actually finished yet, the editing being there to reverse the scenes played chronologically, to make it look as if Eri was still alive, and so on. ..

As you can see, it all makes sense, and our preference is purely personal because they all work. But I'm not going to play that game, because it only shows me one thing, and that's that the plot surrounding Eri is deliberately obscure.

I've seen a lot of people describe Goodbye Eri as a work about dealing with death - the way we want to remember those we've lost, etc... It's about mourning, symbolically saying goodbye, hence the title. Which is true! But it goes further than that.

Eri's plot is deliberately obscure because the right way to appropriate the work is not through her. She's the character we know least about. Physically alone, we learn that she wore glasses and braces. Mentally, she was more annoying than she seemed in the movie. Eri is a mirage in which we won't find answers, so we have to learn to say goodbye.

The only reliable information given in this OS is that everything is filmed by Yuta's phone. And in reality, you know Yuta better than Eri, so it's him you should turn to...

Hi Yuta!

Yuta is almost never shown in this OS, as he is always filming. And when he is shown accurately, it's when he's inspired by other films by watching them with Eri, in other words, he's continuing to work on his own film by watching others.

Yuta's first film began as a result of his mother's narcissistic desire, as he was celebrating his birthday, discovering his gift, a smartphone, all of which was directly taken over by his mother, who asked him to film her until she died.

By keeping only the good sides of his mother, ignoring all the abusive parts of her, Yuta does not follow his parent's wishes, he does it for himself, showing what he himself wants to retain from his childhood, his story, in order to move forward properly.

But as everything is filmed, it gives the impression that the videos have been passively lined up without any sorting, without any choice. Yuta takes his revenge because he refuses to film his mother until the day she dies, stopping before then, preferring an explosion to conclude his film. It's brutal because it's as if Yuta's tastes, his little touch of fantasy, are suddenly surfacing, while the rest of the film is just as personal, just as him. So when his film is mocked, it's a work so personal that Yuta wants to die.

It's not insignificant that it's Eri who intervenes, whose only certainty was that she loved not only the films but also Yuta's, simply because she saw not only Yuta's mother in this film but also him, whom she considered to be the best character. She wasn't revolted by the ending, because she was aware of Yuta's touch throughout the film. The same ambiguity then resurfaces, we don't know if Eri is in love with Yuta, she corrects him to say that it's these films, the two are so linked, that liking Yuta's films is tantamount to liking the teenager.

Yuta follows Eri's desire to produce a film that is above all personal to him, to the point that when Eri sees her last moments narrated by him, she sees Yuta more than herself, because she is seen through someone else's eyes.

For me, there aren't two or three films, but just one from start to finish. Because you see, we've said goodbye to Eri, we've got out of her tricky story to reflect on Yuta, but we still haven't stepped back enough. Because you know who made the film, and it's not Yuta, it's Fujimoto. So, third stage :

let's salute Fujimoto.

The film we've just seen in this OS deals with a number of overlapping themes, the way in which a loved one is portrayed, the relationship with others, death, creation, but above all, the extent to which a work is personal. Goodbye Eri is a pretext for Fujimoto to show us the extent to which even the cutting is the fruit of reflection, is already a message.

In this OS, all the boxes are in the video format of a smartphone, each moving, static shot depends on Yuta, just as each shot is in the third row, drawn by someone.

People make the mistake, like the first audience of Yuta's film about his mother, of relating to works as linear stories to be trusted, even if they film his mother every day, Yuta's editing is his way of counting a story, it is certainly not the truth in all its neutrality. It's only at the moment of the explosion, which expresses the most of Yuta's personality, that people get upset.

This offbeat, absurd explosion is something that Fujimoto punctuates in his works, yet they are both thought out and personal to him. But they are often mocked as a way of poking fun at his work. What Fujimoto is saying is that the work doesn't become brutally personal for the controversial, offbeat moments, just the way he depicts a scene from life is personal.

People believed this version of the author's mother, otherwise they wouldn't be outraged by this disgraceful way of portraying this nice woman at the end, so in itself, Yuta's film worked. But all this is just a pretext for Fujimoto to point out that he is the author of all his other works, CSM, Fire Punch, Look Back, Just Listen to the Song... They are just like another film made in response to the positive or negative reactions of the others.

Fujimoto likes to trace the common ground between these works, which respond to each other. Each one, placed side by side, is an attempt by Fujimoto to upset his audience a little more, a second or third try.

The mistake is to separate the author's touch from his work, just as we are tempted to focus more on Eri than Yuta. Just as Fujimoto reminds us through this OS, who writes, draws Goodbye Eri. The first part of CSM was turned upside down by the fact that Makima was a demon from the start, abusive to the point of being the antagonist.

A violent and abusive maternal relationship. The design of the mother is also a bit similar. Mentions of the breasts, something that also went down quite a bit and left its mark on a lot of readers because it was so out of sync. The emphasis on cats... A rejected boy. A work focused on female characters.

Goodbye Eri is a work in which Fujimoto makes fun of himself, his works and the things that bring them together. Yes, there will be an explosion if the author so decides. Yes, Eri can live again, be a vampire, if the author so decides, but what's to stop him making his characters die, and then bringing them back to life a few pages later?

The characters' plots are the authors' playgrounds, whether you like it or not. You can't detach works from their authors, or read works as unrelated things because they were written by the same person. Talking about death, life, mourning, love, with a touch of fantasy is what Fujimoto does in each of them.

So if you're lost, remember that what you're reading isn't in the title but in the author.

#goodbye eri #sayonara eri #fujimoto tatsuki #eri #yuta #makima #csm #chainsaw man #fire punch #look back #one shot #analysis #my thoughts #credit to Reddit for the last image @/blackfish171

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thewertsearch · 7 months

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GC: YOU W3R3 STRUTT1NG 4ROUND 1N YOUR D3L1C1OUS K1W1 31GHT B4LL SU1T 4ND RUNN1NG YOUR FR3SH MOUTH 4S USU4L GC: durp yo terezi sup sup gotta beat john gotta beat john GC: hes got a long hood and he does wind, how can i get powers too? [....] GC: [...] 1M L1K3 D4V3 TH4TS GO1NG TO 1NVOLV3 F4C1NG YOUR OWN D34TH GC: 4ND 1M SORRY TO BR34K 1T TO YOU BUT 1 DONT TH1NK YOUR3 R34DY FOR TH4T

Well, at least she gave him fair warning.

Thanks to Vriska, John was able to achieve the god tiers without confronting his mortality. He didn't have to grapple with any of this, and it's possible that he was robbed of some character growth as a result.

That said, I still think Vriska did him a solid. It's just ironic that she thinks she's helping him develop as a hero, when she might be doing the exact opposite.

GC: BUT ONLY 1F YOU PROM1S3 TO TH3 3X4CT T3RMS OF MY 4RR4NG3M3NT, 1N ORD3R TO PROT3CT TH3 1NT3GR1TY OF TH3 T1M3L1N3 >:] TG: the arrangement being the coin flip thing TG: thank god we did that otherwise wed be screwed TG: i probably would have gone back in time and killed my own grandfather oh wait i never had one

lmao

I do wonder if Bro had an adopted family. We know Nanna and Grandpa's background, and Mom was probably the child that Skaianet were apparently raising in their laboratory. (Remember when I thought there was a secret clone of Rose down there?)

Bro, however, is an enigma, even among the Guardians. He has no known relationship with any of the other parents, but was definitely getting foreknowledge of Sburb from somewhere. I'm not even sure I want to know what sort of childhood produces Bro Strider.

GC: 1 TOLD YOU 1 W4S GO1NG TO FL1P 4 CO1N GC: 4ND B3FOR3 1 D1D, YOU H4D TO P1CK 4 S1D3 W1THOUT T3LL1NG M3 GC: GOOD H34DS OR B4D H34DS

Really, the coin is just a rhetorical device. Terezi doesn't need to flip a coin, or even have a coin, because the real flip is happening in Dave's head. His Mind, if you will.

This does raise a lot of questions, though. I hope there isn't a timeline for every conceivable decision you could make. We've sort of discussed the idea before, but I don't think I've really talked about the subtle horror of a multiverse that works that way.

I mean, if there's a timeline for every possible decision - if everyone is capable of making any choice, at any time - then John will randomly kill his friends, for no reason. There are millions of offshoots where he does this. WV will become a monarchist. Dave will take off his shades.

It goes deeper, too. You can't even meaningfully ask why Dave wears shades, because he doesn't. He's constantly taking them off, because it is possible for him to do so. And if there's a timeline where he never takes them off, it's only because that's a decision he could potentially make.

If timelines branch at every decision, with no restrictions, then every single person in the multiverse is constantly doing things that contradict the core of who they are. In fact, there is no core. Everyone is an indistinguishable robot, constantly making every possible decision, simply because they can.

Homestuck could work like this, but I prefer the Discworld interpretation - I think it's more consistent with the comic's themes of choice. In Night Watch, protagonist Vimes is confronted with this exact question, and we get this exchange:

“But sometimes you can’t help wondering: what would have happened if I’d done something different–” “Like when you killed your wife?” Sweeper was impressed at Vimes’s lack of reaction. “This is a test, right?” “You’re a quick study, Mister Vimes.” “But in some other universe, believe me, I hauled off and punched you one.” Again, Sweeper smiled the annoying little smile that suggested he didn’t believe him. “You haven’t killed your wife,” he said. “Anywhere. There is nowhere, however huge the multiverse is, where Sam Vimes as he is now has murdered Lady Sybil. But the theory is quite clear. It says that if anything could happen without breaking any physical laws, it must happen. But it hasn’t. And yet the “many universe” theory works. Without it, no one would ever be able to make a decision at all.” “So?” “So what people do matters!” said Sweeper. “People invent other laws. What they do is important!

In short, there are some things you would never do, physical laws be damned. It is inconceivable that Vimes would murder his wife, because his current personality is incompatible with that decision. It simply cannot be made to make sense, so it can't spawn a timeline.

Note that this is only true for Vimes 'as he is now'. His moral code doesn't necessarily apply to his alt-selves - or even his younger self, whose code hasn't solidified. Hell, half the book is about making sure Young Vimes develops that code in the first place. There could be an evil John Egbert, but our John can't just arbitrarily turn evil.

So that's how I think it works. There's a timeline for every decision that you'd choose to make, and that subset of decisions will change as you grow. Your development as a person shapes the multiverse, in a very literal way.

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5.2 #s99 #3093 #sort of like that ask about the alpha timeline needing to be consistent with the personalities of its inhabitants #but at a larger scale

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funnycreatortimetravel · 2 months

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Small rant about Sans' character that no one is ever going to read and is probably kind of inaccurate, but I'm going to scream into the void nonetheless because why the hell not and I'm kind of bored.

I feel like the concept of Sans as a whole has been so utterly gutted by the fandom and not in the way you'd think. Not because of the AUs which are all so oddly Sans-focused (but at least we have Underverse which is actually pretty good) but in the sense of the people who claim to "actually understand Sans canonically" and "try to stay as canon as possible" while also equally missing the point sort of. Hence, why we have this long and overplayed image I'm sure everyone has seen a billion times:

If I could lay some groundwork down, Undertale came out in 2015, nearly a decade ago. The internet was a different time and place then and fandom creativity reached new peaks that no one had ever seen before, and as a result, a lot of Undertale was exaggerated, changed, cut up, and then put back together. Why? Because in all honesty, Undertale was a really simple game with a simple premise. Sure there were bits and pieces scattered throughout, parts like who Gaster was, who Chara was when they were alive, who Sans is in general; all the typical fandom theory shenanigans we've come to expect in the recent years. And in that excitement, Sans became the staple of Undertale pretty much, or at least everything it represented. This macabre, yet adorably misleading game with funny moments and interesting think pieces that people are still speculating about. That's pretty much the basis of Sans. So I get why Sans became the quintessential poster child for such a subversively ambitious game. I get why, then, people try to showcase Sans as this badass God character who knows and remembers all of resets and cries over Papyrus and is just an edge lord in general. It doesn't mean it's accurate in the slightest, but I get the idea of it nonetheless. In the absence of content, and there's a lot of it in Undertale, (I mean, it took me 4 hours to 100% it in the Pacifist and Neutral Routes, and 5 hours to beat Genocide, including the times it took me to beat Undyne because she thoroughly kicked my ass and Sans as well) the fans filled those gaps with what they saw fit and what they saw fit was so wide and diverse that the gap overflowed and the game pretty much became unrecognizable.

And I (except for the truly questionable and gross stuff, you know what I'm talking about) love the fandom for that, I truly do. Just the sheer number of comics, spin-off games, AUs, art, and fanfiction that answered every question I had and more was and is impressive, but even so, there's only so much that can be done with the context Undertale provides us before the content gets...stale. Hence my point on why Sans' character was so exaggerated is because Undertale as a whole had been exaggerated and oversaturated and overplayed and generally...not what the game or Sans was originally. But that was peak 2016-2019, though, a few years ago. And the interpretations and eras, like everything, have changed.

Now back to my actual point. It's now 2024. The fandom has noticeably slowed down. All of the AUs and theories and fanfictions that were popular have either been forgotten about over the years, randomly rediscovered or still ongoing, or just abandoned entirely. The game has been pretty much combed through until every file has been cracked, every document leaked, and every secret discovered. It's like a picked over turkey at this point and a lot of the old creators have indeed left behind the game in pursuit of newer things, which is understandable. It's not the center of attention it once was and in that wake, we don't really have a lot of the same pillars in the Undertale community that we used to. And in this transformed community, we have the left over children, now young adults and teenagers, to pick up the pieces. And in that, Sans' character, as well as Undertale itself, has again, been reformed.

That was a lot of words. But I hope I at least set the center stage. My issue, pretty much, is that the leftover fans deem themselves as "above the cringe" the old fandom left behind, which, is fair enough. And in doing so, a lot of the foundation of the 2016-2019 Undertale fandom was kind of overwritten. No, now Sans is no longer this edgy, overpowered God figure ready to right the wrongs of the player, no, now he's this apathetic guy who doesn't care about anyone, including himself, and is only powerful because he cheated. And to be fair, I see some merit in this interpretation. Sans is in fact, a pretty morally ambiguous guy. He doesn't even attempt to stop the player during the genocide route until there's nothing left. He threatens the player on the pacifist route even when we pose no threat. He makes so many allusions about himself not caring about anything. So I get it. Everyone is tired of everything Sans-related. I was too at one point. But in trying to counteract this fanon interpretation of Sans, I feel like this new one is also semi-inaccurate. This new interpretation of Sans is meant to be seen as "mature" and "not cringe" when in fact, Undertale is and always will be sort of cringe. And that's OK! That's why I and others love the game so much, because it's not afraid of being anything other than what it is and what it claimed to be. It had a story in mind that it wanted to tell and it did so unabashedly. The need to separate Undertale and Sans itself from the cringe is so pointless and almost a little juvenile. And imo, even ruins the character of Sans himself.

Sans does care about Papyrus, so so so much. He reads him bedtime stories. He plays along with his illusions of grandeur. He calls out the player when he's killed, despite Sans having to remain objective as a judge. I feel like Sans not intervening in Papyrus' death isn't because he doesn't care, it's because his entire job is to act as a judge and in a position where he's mostly neutral. He knows the player has powers to redo and undo things, so thus, he gives us room to make those choices, for better or worse. He's like, the anti-toriel. He refuses to hold your hand. He tells YOU to make the right choice, and by you, I mean the player. And in that sense, I feel like that's not something a completely apathetic guy would do. Someone like that wouldn't even see the point of choices, of having an option. Someone like that wouldn't care about getting out of bed in the morning, getting several jobs, or telling a person with higher power to just engage with your brother.

Like come on, don't say he doesn't put effort into anything, like he went out of his way to make sure Pap's Holiday party went perfect. He's constantly going above and beyond for his brother.

Sans has emotions and they're so complex and so well-written, but I feel like this counter-cringe culture of the fandom wants him to be this guy who's either too depressed or too lazy to engage with others, or someone who would simply shrug off the death of loved ones when we have proof that Sans does indeed try hard for Papyrus in the ending where everyone dies but his brother. It's an "oh shit" sort of moment when he realizes that Papyrus is the only person he has left and thus, he puts in the effort to be better for him. It's not that he doesn't care or see the point, he's just kind of numb at this point. If Papyrus dies in the neutral routes, you don't see Sans again until the judgment hall and he'll call you a dirty brother killer and tell you to go to hell. That's something someone who at least cares a little would do. He's not above insulting the player and he's not above getting pissed. I've never really seen him as a, "well that's that then," character when it comes to Papyrus dying, for me, it's always been, "I'm angry, but I can maintain my composure and still do what I have to do."

Even in the genocide routes, Sans wants to give up and do nothing. He wants to let himself die without much thought. But he knows that he has to stand between you and oblivion. It's another, "Oh shit" moment, but in the opposite way. He knows he's gonna die. But he still has hope. Not necessarily that you'll be a good person, but that you can try another way and make better choices. He embodies the same mentality Papyrus did at the beginning of the run, believing there's a better chance for another future where everyone can be happy.

Sans isn't a nihilist, not all the way. There's still a chance, still a part of him that has hope for everything, regardless of the route. And should the Pacifist route be completed, you'll see that he's genuinely happy. He DOES care, or at least he's beginning to know that caring about things is ok and healthy even.

Ex 1: If you go to Sans' lab after completing a True Pacifist Route, you get this bit of dialog:

Ex 2: Sans and Papyrus talking about a Christmas party they had on the Newsletter of the 5th Anniversary of Undertale.

The strongest, yet most complex example of this that we see is that he upholds his promise with Toriel and will continue to do so until the genocide route at the very end because he wants to at least give us, the player, a chance. And even if it was a cop-out for being lazy, I believe that Sans legitimately believes there's a chance for us to turn around and be a better person, or at the very least, make better choices. We know that Sans is a person who doesn't like making promises at all, and even though he said that his threatening to kill Frisk is a joke, had he not made that promise to Toriel, I can't 100% say that he still wouldn't intervened in the genocide and neutral routes.

And if you think about it, Sans upholding that promise just makes me question him even more. Like, even if you kill his brother, so long as you don't kill everyone, he won't kill you just because of that. He sticks to his promise and his morals so much, even if it costs him everything because well, what type of judge would he be if he didn't stick to his moral code?

"If you have some special power, don't you think it's your responsibility to do the right thing?"

And by that logic, if he made a promise with someone, don't you think he'd feel he'd have the responsibility to uphold it?

We also know that he makes an effort to give us updates on the Underground after we leave in the neutral routes because he still wants us to know, at least, the consequences of our actions, so it's not like he's just lazily letting us get away with anything with do (even if he does physically.) He still holds our actions above our heads. He still keeps his promise. He still knows that we can make a better outcome. And if that doesn't say anything about him, I don't know what does.

Even in the neutral route endings where things are objectively going terribly for the monsters with Frisk killing Asgore and taking the souls to leave the barrier, Sans still never gives up. Sans, of all people.

And sure, Sans isn't a saint, not by a long shot, but he does have some moral weight in the long run, and by playing the part of a judge, he has a certain level of disattachment that's necessary when it comes to doing his job. Nowadays, I don't see the "fanon" sans that everyone loves to rag on, the one that's overly emotional and jarringly out of character, more so, I see everyone ragging on that interpretation, and then coming up with an equally inaccurate interpretation of Sans just not giving a shit and letting Frisk get away with everything just because he's "not emotional and only wants to be lazy, blah, blah, blah, nihilism, existentialism, it's more canonically accurate, unlike that CRINGE FANON SANS!" /or being a total unserious prankster with no other personality traits, and that's equally as jarring for me.

So in conclusion, I feel like "Fanon" Sans, the one where he's breaking down and sobbing over Papyrus and holding his scarf is just as inaccurate as the "more canon one" where he's apathetic and simply just not caring about his death, or at the very best, says "it is what it is." Sans is a character whose emotions aren't apparent, but he still does care in his weird philosophical way. He loves Papyrus and genuinely thinks he's cool. He's a jokester character who loves a good laugh and being laid back. He doesn't like putting in effort, but he will if he has to. He wants the player to make good choices, so he generally tries to stay out of the way to give us that freedom. Not because he knows we're gonna kill Papyrus, but because he knows we have greater power and wants us to use it to do the morally right thing. He isn't above doing morally grey things either, like threatening to kill Frisk in case they pose a threat to monster kind, but I believe even then, his hesitation to just accept a human in the underground is somewhat understandable given the oppressive tension between humans and monsters. Additionally, he does put in effort when it comes to caring about monsters other than Papyrus, Toriel, and even Alphys and Asgore, he cares about them all: (it's implied that he feeds the amalgamates in Alphy's old lab as proven by the same dog food we see in the lab being in Sans' house and Alphys even calls him a good guy because he helps her in the aborted genocide route ending, him telling jokes to Toriel and genuinely trying to bring some joy in her life even though she's a stranger and doesn't have an obligation to, even staying with her in the Ruins after she's dethroned in the Queen Undyne ending, him acting as the judge before Asgore and even being in such an important position requires you to have a solid sense of morality and conviction, his respect for Undyne as a warrior/leader depending on the ending and in the Undertale Newsletter, he makes an effort to score a goal for his team in Hocky, and Undyne of all people seems proud of him, and pretty much everything that has to do with Papyrus he's at the very least involved or interested in.)

My words don't have a lot of merit. I'm simply saying how I interpret things. But as a big sister, I see Sans as a good big brother who's not too involved, but also deeply cares about his younger brother and his friends. I get that stoicism and being "logical" and "cold" is the new trend and whatnot with all these edits of badass characters and longing for a time when everything was less...emotional, but in doing that, it shuts a lot of discussion about Sans as a person and his complex emotions as a whole. I feel like it's too difficult and kind of silly to chalk him up as either one or the other. I feel like there's a nice middle ground between the "cringe" fanon sans and the "cool, apathetic" canon sans that a lot of fans either go one or the other on. Anyway, that's about it for my rant. It's kind of nonsensical and a little hard to follow, but I hope I was able to get my thoughts across nonetheless.

I guess it was a big rant after all. Oh well. It is what it is.

#sans #undertale sans #undertale #deltarune #papyrus undertale #sans character discussion #undertale deltarune

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mirai-e-jump · 8 months

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Hero Vision Vol.14 (2004/Spring) ft. Kamen Rider Blade Cast Interviews Ryoji Moromoto x Makoto Ito (Suit Actor) Segment (translation below)

Publication: May 20, 2004 (between episodes 17-18) Ryoji Moromoto (Hajime Aikawa) x Makoto Ito (Chalice Suit Actor)

"When did you two first meet?"

Ito: When? (laughs)

Moromoto: When we first met? I'm pretty sure it was before filming started. My first impression of Ito-san was that he was, "A kind big bro."

Ito: He made me think, "This year's also going to turn out cool" (laughs).

Moromoto: We talked alot about Chalice back then. You said, "Chalice has existed for 10,000 years, so I want to show you 10,000 years worth of my career." What were some of the other things you said again?

Ito:……not much, I really don't remember (laughs).

Moromoto: Ahaha! One thing we have in common, is that we have similar bikes, don't we? We've talked about how we want to go (motorcycle) touring together after the show ends. I ride a Yamaha SR400 and, ah...I'm sorry……(Note: The bikes used in Kamen Rider are provided by Honda)

Ito:…Sorry, but I'm also a WR250F (Yamaha) rider~, but before that, it's always been a Honda! I'd love to see Moromoto-kun's rumored SR. I've heard that they're loud and rather slow……

Moromoto: That's right! I actually modified it too much, and now it can only go about 80kph (50mph) (laughs). Right now, I'm too busy to work on it. I feel like my love for it is fading~!

"What were your first impressions of Chalice?"

Moromoto: I received a call from my agency, saying I passed the audition with, "You're Heart." "Eh?! You mean Momorenger?!," I was so surprised and alittle bit intimidated (laughs), but when I saw the design in person, it was cool and I liked it alot because it was something I had never seen before.

Ito: When I was first told about it, I jokingly thought, "Heart……(sinking in)…ah, alright then, I'll just act like a gay guy……" But, after seeing the design, I was relieved and thought about what kind of pose would suit this Rider. My first thought when I read his setup, was that it would be nice to have something wild and different from the other Riders. Compared to G3-X in "Kamen Rider Agito" and Knight in "Kamen Rider Ryuki," this is the wildest work I've ever done. Even with Kaixa in "Kamen Rider 555," I tried to keep martial arts like movements in mind, and to avoid any unnecessary movements. But with Chalice, there's just so many unnecessary movements…(laughs).

Moromoto: That's why I also tried to make the movements bigger in that fight scene (episode 9).

"Morimoto-san, "Hajime Aikawa is not a normal human being," what do you pay attention to when playing such a role?"

Moromoto: When my heart is closer to the human side, it's not so different, but when it's closer to Chalice's side, I try not to blink as much as possible, and when I talk to people, I try to give subtle pauses in my responses. It's almost like a foreigner hearing Japanese and interpreting it in their head before replying. In general, when I'm on Chalice's side, I don't think with my mind, but instead, try to act with my feelings

"Do you have any techniques for the dubbing process?"

Moromoto: I have a high pitched voice, so it can be difficult for me to make Chalice sound intimidating or violent. That's why I'm trying to lower the tone of my voice. I also did research by studying "monsters" such as the Hulk, Akuma from "Street Fighter II" and King Piccolo from "Dragon Ball Z." One time I even played the videos, and would try to voice the characters myself with the sound off, but there was still something wrong. What could it be…I don't know what Chalice's true form is yet, so my image may not be perfect. (Note: The actors have not been told where the story is going at this time.)

Ito: When it's my turn to "Henshin!," I'm trying to decide if it's better to change or to fight and further develop myself. Essentially, Chalice is supposed to be used to fighting, so I want to keep my methods in check. I'm so focused that I feel like I can see my opponent's movements, even when they've stopped. However, the tension is still high.

Moromoto: The way I say "Transformation" is different depending on if I'm fighting to protect Amane-chan or with my natural emotions. For Amane-chan, it's, "Henshin!" but naturally it's, "…Henshin" (lower tone).

"Did you face any challenges during filming?"

Ito: I'm not good when it comes to cold weather, so I almost cried during the snowy mountain shoot.

Moromoto: It was -15C (5F)! And when the sun went down, they brought out one of those giant fans! It kept spraying us with cold water! Man, I remember my face being scrunched up with anger (laughs).

Ito: When I did a test shot without the mask on, my hair ended up freezing. It wouldn't even melt when I put my head over the space heater, so I just had to keep it as is.

Moromoto: There was also the scene where Amane-chan's father gives Hajime the photo, with it being so cold I thought, "This guy, is he really going to die?!"

Ito: I'm bad with Winter, but I'm also bad with Summer too. When I wear a suit, my body temperature rises and my face turns bright red. My heart starts to race too and I think, "Ah, my life is getting shorter…"

Moromoto: It's good for Chalice though, isn't it? Blood rushing, a fast pulse, it's like an unleashing of the instincts.

Ito: But, when I get like that, I become quiet. In the Summer, Chalice becomes more like a domesticated cat (laughs).

Moromoto: Please keep doing your best~, I'm also prepared to risk my life for this role!

Ito: I also want to play the role of a Rider who will continue to remain in everyone's heart. Personally, it's frustrating to often hear people say, "Chalice looks like Gills (Agito)" (laughs), regardless, please continue to watch us in the future. We're going to give it our all!

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royboyfanpage · 1 month

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Hello, please don't take this the wrong way but when I first started getting into comics I really disliked Ollie for how he treated/reacted to Roy and the whole drug thing but many years and more experience later (I know the characters a bit better now and stopped reading bad takes on tumblr) I'm realising that theres a lot more nuance and apparently they've got a really close relationship these days?? So I was just wondering if you might be able to explain that to me because I'd love to get into more arrow stuff (honestly mostly fanficton because lbr comics are crazy confusing and expensive) but I'm struggling to shake the assumptions I made about Ollies character when I was younger

Hi anon! Thank you soooo much for this ask, I've been looking forward to answering it for hours and now I finally have the time. Ollie's one of my favourite fictional archers, and I adore talking about him at any opportunity because he is SUCH a nuanced character. So here's-

Why Oliver Queen Doesn't Suck

Mandatory disclaimer that this is my own opinions, other people may have different interpretations which is totally fine! Ollie's been around for over 80 years, there's a lot of content to read and a lot of conflicting characterisations, so other people may see him differently than me. Also disclaimer that much of this was written from memory. I fact-checked the date of Nixon's declaration of the War on Drugs and the Denny O'Neil quote, but the rest of this was from memory. Apologies for any innaccuracies, both for comics and context.

Now that that's out of the way, lets talk Snowbirds.

In order to discuss Snowbirds Don't Fly, one of the most important things to factor in is context. I understand it can be difficult to see through the historical lense of a time period in which the majority of people on this website, myself included, were not even born let alone reading comic books. However, it's still crucially vital to discuss what was going on in the real world at the time of its publication in order to engage in a rich discussion of the comic. Snowbirds was published the year that the War on Drugs officially began following Nixon's declaration of drugs as "public enemy number one" on June 17th 1971, just under two months before the release of Snowbirds part 1 in August of that year. At the time, drug addiction was very much seen as a moral failing, and the war on drugs focused heavily on the incarceration of drug users (particularly ones that the US Government wanted an excuse to lock away such as people of colour and pacifists against the war in Vietnam, but that's not relevant to Snowbirds.) While Snowbirds was absolutely not a perfect comic, it was created to show a more humanising side of addicts than the usual demonisation seen on the news. In the words of writer Denny O'Neil, “we chose Roy [...] to show that addiction was not limited to 'bad' or 'misguided' kids.” It was created to show that addiction was not a moral failing, and that anyone could fall into it due to circumstances, even someone we've already accepted as 'one of the good guys' for the past 30 years. Roy was used as the symbol of a good kid who made a bad mistake in order to humanise real young people who'd gone through similar circumstances. And where there's a kid, there's a parent, which is where Ollie came in.

Now, I very strongly believe that Ollie was not written to be the bad guy of Snowbirds. Not only was he also an established 'good guy', but he was a symbolic stand-in for much of America at that time, including the people who would be reading it. And, while Green Arrow is very much a character who brings with him a lot of strong political takes, villainising their readerbase would be a step too far. Ollie was a stand-in for the concerned and ill-informed parent, a character who's consumed all the anti-addict propaganda being spread at the time and internalised it. That's why the fact that it was his own ward struggling with addiction was so poignant to the story. Ollie was forced to re-evaluate his worldview after seeing someone who he knows isn't what the media says addicts are struggling with addiction. Snowbirds has such an interesting character arc for Ollie, seeing him struggle to combine the ideas of what he's heard and what he's actively seeing in his mind.

Now, the most infamous part of Snowbirds is, obviously, the slap. Full disclaimer, I am not saying that Ollie is in the right for that. He was 100% undeniably in the wrong for how he responded to Roy's addiction. However, I think a key component of comic books that people tend to ignore is the component of marketing. The writers wanted this comic to sell. It was a very important story for the time, and with the amount of comics being released it was crucial to them that people actually found the comic and read it, especially since it was one of the first comics released outside of the strict rules of the Comics Code. And what would catch readers' eyes more than seeing a superhero hitting his sidekick whilst said sidekick is surrounded by drugs? I'm not trying to discredit the panel, it was obviously a very significant part of the story, but there were external factors at play too.

A lot of the development of Roy and Ollie's relationship is seen in comics released post-Snowbirds, but even in the comic itself there's clear development, particularly at the end. Snowbirds Don't Fly is a character arc for Ollie of him adjusting his worldview in order to grow and better himself after recognising his own biases. And people tend to forget that Snowbirds ends with Roy hitting Ollie back, and what does Ollie do? He listens. He lets Roy get his frustrations out, and listens to Roy's perspective, and he's proud of him by the end of it, proud of the young man he is.

Okay, now that we've gotten Snowbirds out of the way, let's talk about-

Post-Snowbirds

There's a common misconception that Roy and Ollie having a close relationship is a recent development, which just isn't true. While it could've absolutely been explored in more detail, it's clear that Roy and Ollie reconciled post-Snowbirds. The earliest example that comes to mind is 1993's Green Arrow vol 2 #75, wherein Ollie and Roy refer to each other as father and son.

Keep in mind that this was written by Grell who is, at least in my opinion, one of the best references for Ollie. While they did have some issues in the later issues of the run preceding Ollie's death (the causes of the conflict I'm unsure of, they were on rocky terms during Connor's introduction but I don't know why, if anyone has context for that please let me know but that could've just been a choice Dixon made), it's clear to see that Snowbirds was not something that permenantly damaged their relationship. Ollie put in the effort following his actions, to better himself both as a father and as a person, and Roy recognised that and forgave him. Parent/child relationships are hard anyway, let alone under the circumstances Roy and Ollie are under as heroes, and the fact that Ollie actually recognised his own flaws is far more than many parents do.

If we go later, we can see Roy talking fondly about Ollie whilst Ollie was dead in Titans (1999), fondly recalling memories with him from his youth, as well as keeping a photograph of him on his wall.

While Roy does recognise that things with Ollie weren't always perfect, he does also acknowledge the good times between him and Ollie, and it's clear from the way he speaks that he holds a lot of love for him.

Later still, when Ollie returns from the dead, the duo reunite with fondness

One thing particularly that stands out to me is that, at this point, Ollie was missing many of his memories and Snowbirds was still fresh in his mind, with him bringing up Roy's addiction multiple times throughout Quiver as if it happened within at most the span of two years. Despite this, he still embraces Roy and treats him with love, making it clear that Ollie loved Roy even near to the Snowbirds era. There are more instances I could go into in Green Arrow (2001), but I'm running out of free time, so I'd highly recommend reading it :)

Aaaand later still, Ollie openly admits to having fucked up with Roy during Snowbirds.

He admits his failings, and demonstrates that he's got Roy's best interests at heart. He's not being selfish, he's letting Roy have his moment in his initiation as Red Arrow and staying in the background because he believes that's what's best for Roy. And-

He openly states that he loves Roy.

There's more in the current continuity I could reference, but I don't have the time to go through them right now and I'm definitely more familiar with content pre-52 (particularly 1994-2004 is the ten years I'd say I know the best), so hopefully this is enough.

Roy and Ollie's relationship isn't perfect. It has clear ups and downs, which is what makes them so interesting! Oliver Queen is a very loving, yet very flawed man, and to go either way of "evil abuser" or "perfect father" discredits who he is.

Anyway, your faves don't have to be unproblematic to love them. Ollie has a really compelling character arc during and after Snowbirds, and I like him a lot :)

For further reading, check out my masterlist on my pinned post, particularly Oliver Queen's B- Parenting, Snowbirds (1), and Snowbirds (2)

Edit: In the original version of this post, I incorrectly credited Mike Grell for the introduction of Ollie's socialism and giving away his money. While Grell did expand the concept, it was first developed by O'Neil. My apologies for the misinformation.

#tw drugs #roy harper #speedy #arsenal #red arrow #green arrow #oliver queen #snowbirds don't fly #thank you for the ask anon!!!#i will get to your second ask asap #fun fact the only panel i screenshotted specifically for this post was the quiver reunion #the rest were already in my gallery

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shopcat · 1 year

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HI. this is the steve harrington autism post. source: i have the steve harrington style autism that makes me autistic about him

to preface this i would like to say i am working off of personal like interpretation and thru the lens of my own experience :0... also this is long lol <3 so, tl;dr, here are the autistic traits or things that are caused by autism i believe steve showcases, (except.. do read if you like <3):

sensory issues -> wearing only ever the same style of clothes, adjusting/touching his hair, (potentially) eating certain foods

stimming -> walking in place to think, fiddling with small objects, spinning/flipping/throwing objects to keep himself focussed or entertained, listening to music

scripting -> repeating phrases/words aloud and practicing what he's going to say, repeating the "plan" aloud

routine -> strict hair routine with specific steps, was in routine sports with strict rules/timing and enjoys them otherwise, driving robin to school every day without even knowing she couldn't bc it was routine, working jobs that require mindless but engaging tasks including organisation

poor grasp of social cues, especially with girls, and saying the "wrong" thing at the wrong time (including the 6 little nuggets speech, "he ate dustin's cat", confessing to robin, etc)

other people feeling like they have to tell him things he's "missed" socially (dustin telling him he likes robin, eddie telling him he likes nancy)

likes to set/follow rules and is upset when people deviate from them (i.e. max wanting to leave in s4)

out of-the-box/atypical/lateral thinking

delayed processing of thoughts/concepts/complicated subjects especially in high-intensity scenarios

picking up on small details (like background sounds in large areas or recognising something) that other people don't pick up on

fixating on certain things (hair, clothes/shoes, sports, etc)

high pain tolerance/sensory dysregulation (shaking off concussions/consistent, continued ability to function while severely injured)

inability to conceptualise his OWN mortality/safety and engaging in at risk situations with little thought other than instinct + making impulsive choices

developmental differences/delays (literally crawling backwards)

poor grades in school/not getting into college

trouble regulating emotion

poor self esteem due to feeling worthless :(

i also have adhd so i also keep this in mind a little and obv at the end of the day this is just my own interpretation + autism is a spectrum :) NOW. i will go into detail >:)

SOOO i'm not sure if steve was deliberately coded as autistic but i DO think they intentionally in one way or another coded him with a developmental disability of some kind!! which i will talk about first!!

this is shown particularly in season 2 in a couple different instances and continues into season 3 at undercurrent ..

we've discussed this a little before but i also think this is why when people like to just describe him as genuinely "dumb" it like hurts people's feelings 😭 my feelings... and that's not intentional ofc but while it is a personal insecurity of the character himself that is being ironically picked at, positively or not, by those who love him in fandom, it's also evident of something happening under the surface that people may be unaware of imo

i think he display a out of-the-box, atypical or lateral way of thinking combined with delayed processing in a way that is very typical to neurodivergent behaviour!! and more...

in season 2 we get a really nice little look into his psychology about it when nancy is reading his college admission essay (that he presumably asked her to do) and he's sitting there SO nervous and full of doubt and worked up about it he's like. basically twitching 😭

he says "it's crap i know" and nancy's like no it's not! and he's like "ugh it's not good..." sooo stressed out.. and nancy says it just needs some reorganising, which is INTERESTING!!! someone who is insecure in his own skills and inability to get his thoughts across in a succinct way + has good, complex ideas that translate poorly when he tries to explain it out loud or in text + a host of insecurities pre-rooted and explicitly about his own intellectual "failings" all = a very neurodivergent read of Steve Vs School i think

also, maybe a tangent, but: in that essay itself nancy says he starts by using one of his basketball games as a metaphor for his life, then he confuses the metaphor by comparing it to the war his grandfather was in. nancy says she doesn't see how they're connected and he's like "um. it connects because we both won" (i actually think she's being very sweet in this scene!! idg when ppl say she's mean here)

ik this wasn't the show's intention and just extrapolation but i find it really cool + interesting that there IS a war of some kind that steve could talk about that HE fought in, there is a description of high stakes combat where it's him VS them and he is the only one who now has to make this high stakes, risky choice, instead of playing it safe like he always does that relates directly to his life as a metaphor and he DOES feel connected to his grandfather in this sense...

but he can't actually talk about that. so it's basketball. and it's a slightly clunky metaphor that makes it seem like, trite, like oh silly steve, basketball isn't WAR. the essay itself is actually really well-written and evocative!! but to me signifies this inability to directly translate what he's thinking, hence it needs a little "rearranging", or maybe it's a little "all over the place" even

(also, that he crumpled up the entire essay and dismissed it entirely and fell back on nihilistic thinking and "i'll just work for my dad i guess". he already had cast disbelief upon his own ability to thrive because he feels he's not good enough :( )

his failing grades, which ended in not getting into college, tech or otherwise, is a big part of his post-highschool arc i think. to me it also shows sympathy to a problem many young neurodivergent (in every which way, btw) people face, including myself, and is potentially a really almost kind portrayal of the capability of a person not being wrapped up in their intellectual or i guess SCHOLASTIC endeavours and "achievements", and that you can be successful and "useful" to others in different ways :0

to call him dumb and really mean it (both in and out of show -_-) after all this is a certain kind of disservice i guess? like okay i think a little jokey joke is fine and also absolutely RELATING is fine (and another extension of another one of my points which is basically just "he's just like me fr" can actually = "he's JUST like me... like For Real". he's dumb in the way i'm dumb and we're both not actually dumb) but let's all be cool okayyyy

beyond school, i think he displays SOO many behaviours both characteristically and even like in his physicality that build to this beautiful conclusion... i think steve is this guy who was served up to be an initially one dimensional being who proved himself again and again to have a multitude of complexities beneath the surface :). i think his literal entire character arc is adjacent to the autistic experience LOL... perhaps...

he showcases a certain need and comfort in routine in a variety of ways, like:

being interested in sports both watching recreationally (which have timed matches and he HAS to be there on time, too) and as the hobby itself. sports are a high-routine activity with strict rules and rituals, before, after and during, as well as the extra work you have to put in otherwise!!

ESPECIALLY something like swimming, which is all about certain timing (and an individual-based sport as opposed to the team-based basketball) which he took for years!! (and actually got his cpr verification for, which you absolutely don't need to just like. be on the swim team. but it would be the "right" way to do it LOL) (also idk how it worked in 1980s fictional indiana but you need your verification a year in advance to actually do anything with it where i live!! which means he did it FROM freshman year)

driving robin to school every day, and then presumably picking her up for work sometimes too, despite not even knowing she COULDN'T drive herself because he was so dedicated to this routine (and friendship :D <3)

his hair routine!! it's SO specific (four puffs EXACTLY!!! no more no less... and when it's DAMP not WET) and i am honestly of the mind it's actually far more complex of a routine he even makes it out to be .. and i am willing to bet the multi step experience of it all is sooo long and has to be just as specific too. also extra points for it being something he does that aids in his own self-image and would make him feel like he's putting himself together.? so to speak

i think, in a way, that he owns about 9 pairs of shoes and most of them are white sports shoes with a colour accent + he's been shown to wear the colour accent that matches his outfit more often than not. which i spose is a certain kind of. ritual or routine or something.

he also shows a whole host of sensory issues/complexities/...things!!

he wears the same style of clothes like CONSTANTLY. almost everything he owns is either a soft sweater or a polo shirt, plus the same style of jacket he cycles through, all of which are well-worn (despite him being like, rich) :) the exception is that colourblock denim vest (which i think is the exception for him too because he just wanted to look like marty mcfly. which is so autistic)

i.e. wearing something that you know is comfortable over and over that doesn't give you a poor sensory experience, and continuing to buy the same style of clothing because you know it's safe to do so because he FEELS comfortable. super autistic trait. beloved prep trait as well i also just think he doesn't actually care what he wears but whatever

he also sometimes favours tight clothes and sometimes looser/baggier ones (think one day the s4 blue/white polo and jeans, the next a sweater and loose chinos) which indicates to me possible different sensory needs in the day by day...

he also wears a lot of undershirts, including with the scoops ahoy uniform (which could've been to avoid a POOR sensory experience)

he adjusts/runs his fingers through his hair and makes sure it's in a nice state at an almost compulsive level but it's also like an afterthought kind of. it could also just be a sensory thing to want to retouch his hair and play with it and follow through with the prior routine of it Looking Good + a grounding technique for sure

along with that he stims a LOT, including the thing where he has to twirl or throw ANYTHING in his hands up to and including -> a lighter, the baseball bat MIDFIGHT, a torch, a phone MIDFIGHT, his ice cream scooper, keys, his sailor hat, a banana, a random ball he found... he's also very fiddly and tends to sort of be happy sitting quietly and doing something over and over like that (this is also a trait with adhd :) )

the jobs he worked are relatively low intensity despite customer interaction and had him working with his hands plus at FV there's a lot of sorting/organisation. also "not my TAPES man" because he already sorted them and now it's ruined 😭

you tend to see him taking a little moment for himself in the background of scenes a lot, sometimes with robin as well!! he kind of just wanders off and does his own thing but in the wake of the high emotion, high adrenaline various combats in-show it makes sense, even more so if he just needs a little moment to himself to unwind

he walks/paces to think!!!

the reason he and robin only even threw up in season 3 is a) the stimulating lights he noticed that then b) over-stimulated them

this one's a little less obvious but he listens to the same kind of music and listens to it LOUDLY when he's stressed 😭 he also doesn't turn it off even if he like, technically should like on the way to fight monsters. i think he just likes music a lot tbh but also very autistic to me (and also a reason why he and eddie would be friends and/or kiss on the mouth)

one of the biggest things that sounds off to me is his social interactions :0 he is hailed as this like, ladies man but almost near constantly plummets to the earth in insane social blunder which personally i love actually (and it extends beyond these situations too!!). all the hottest boys are autistic...

i know that this is to show him just like, losing his charm...? and that he peaked in highschool or something and i do love his patheticness but it's also sooo autism. one of the reasons i actually think he's gay (lol) is his compulsive need to try and "land" a social interaction with a woman, then fail, while also not "feeling the spark" with the women he DID land and failing to see why (like his date at the basketball game). he's constantly seeking companionship but it feels like it's just out of his reach and he doesn't get it... sigh... and that it's definitely in part bc he feel he can't relate to them because HE'S so different i think. for whatever reason. multiple.

in season 3 the ENTIRE you rule/you suck board is like a beautiful shrine to this... he's honestly so funny . but like constantly awkwardly flirting and somehow saying the wrong thing every time whilst also not getting that they're Not responding to him until they like, leave, which is like. a statistical unlikelihood to me of times this can happen without something else going on in his little brain. i also like that he "invented" a makeout point bc that opens up the ability to just go um. let's go to skull rock. and the person would be like oh okay yes i am going to makeout with steve harrington.

beyond just girls or failed flirting or whatever a lot of his interactions with the kids or his other friends ping to me as having trouble with social cues and some accidental bluntness!! a FAVOURITE being -> "dart ate a cat?" "no. what? no." "what are you talking about? he ate mews" "who's mews?" "it's dustin's cat" "STEVE..." 😭😭 i love him. also him suggesting he could work his charm on the dean of the school and nancy being like... not that kind of charm.

oh another good moment for this is in the epilogue to season 3 actually like he's trying so hard to show he's seen Some movies (but only remembers the significant/stand out details) and then when robin's like can you give us a moment he's just like. Why. and does this funny little head shake movement. and robin does the steve -_- and he backs away kubrick staring... beautiful scene

he also falls victim i think to saying the wrong thing at the wrong time which is a lot of the time not necessarily his like FAULT ofc but suggests further little issues or . unalignmentd with social interaction. the entire 6 little nuggets speech to nancy to me is one of these situations (and maybe the convo in the woods with her?? idk) where he's kind of just talking and digging a hole and the other person is sort of just sitting there. it's also shown with like "like the germans?"

ALSO, a lot of the time people end up coming to him specifically and sort of like... telling him what to do/how HE feels?? and i think he just sort of goes along with it. in season 3 dustin tells him he has a crush on robin until he kind of talks himself into it and then he accidentally crash-fails for a second time by confessing to her at a sort of insane time as well (not that i think he actually had any feelings for her!!). and in season 4 eddie does the SAME with nancy which is almost spectacular.

alsoo while i think he struggles with certain social cues i also think he's very emotionally intelligent and he picks up on people's feelings easily which i guess someone could say it seems to counter? other autistic traits (silly) but to me i think. autistic people are aware of PLENTY of social cues sometimes the cue is just stupid -_- and i can read other people's emotions for sure in fact i'm almost like hyper attuned to it i just don't know how to RESPOND to it a lot of the time. whereas steve picks up on dustin's nerves at the snow ball and reassures him accordingly (and so cutely..), then picks up on robin's emotions after his confession and near-immediately course corrects after her confession in order to make her laugh!!! he was also really good with picking up on nancy's feelings and knowing exactly what to do about it/using forethought about it (like idk holding her hand when they were having sex or something to ease her nerves but also noticing she was upset at the library) when they were together at least 🤔

there are also a number of other various things very dear to me that i have no where else to include. LIKE:

his high pain tolerance!!! he's able to shake off torture, multiple concussions, various beatings with little to almost NO actual repercussions. in s4 it was actually really interesting how he was feeling bad enough to almost faint after the bats but once he was patched up he was "fine", and acted like he was fine for... the rest of the entire show. he did a backflip. high pain tolerance is an offshoot of a sensory dysregulation!!

specifically a lack of filter and moments where he goes "too far" especially when he's struggling with an emotional dysregulation of sorts, like with dustin in s4 or even with jonathan s1, but also like. the dumb faces he was making behind his date's back.

"when i was a baby, i crawled backwards"!!! autistic children can have different development i.e. their early CHILDHOOD development that can present itself in a variety of ways!! atypical to the norm crawling/walking is one of them (also matches up with robin taking 6 months longer to walk than other babies which she Also said to nancy and i think this is significant of something and i don't know what. maybe it's just funny. also stobin soulmates ofc).

to me, being the guy who mid plan debrief is the one saying "so let me get this straight" AND that he's the one asking the necessary questions to get everyone's minds (and in the 4th wall sense the literal plot) moving suggests that he both feels the need to want clarification of like, plans/instructions and what the situation is so everyone is caught up and he didn't get it wrong, and that just speaking it aloud helps cement it in his mind (which is also scripting as well i believe). also his ability to ask the RIGHT "wrong" questions suggests out of-the-box thinking as well (i would say both of these are also an adhd trait!)

his friendship with robin is honestly a point for me LOL. robin is an example of a character i do believe IS intentionally absolutely autistic coded, especially in season 4 but also 3, and his bond with her seems to be a personal one based in trust in each other and their own similarities... in season 4 when they're lamenting their love lives and say they should "just combine" is so important to me.. ugh

he's very particular and possessive about his belongings in an almost pedantic way (c'mon man not my SCOOPER! and wipe your feet before you get in my CAR and honestly even that he refuses to let max drive it fullstop, a little bit)

he also ate. SO many bananas at scoops i think for a time being it ended up being a safe food which literally happened to me as well. a very small thing but i like it

he scripts!! ie he repeats words and phrases aloud as a form of stimulation and getting himself to think or practices what he's going to say before things so he's "scripting" it (his "i'm sorry wtf am i sorry for" speech before he runs into dustin in s2)

he gets along better people who, by majority, aren't in his peer group i.e. the kids!!! and even robin and nancy were a little younger! he is very genuinely friends with the kids and it is Very Genuinely so sweet, but particularly with dustin too i found it sooo... <3

he also shows like these moments of high-intensity like silly child-like qualities of (autistic) joy LIKE when he sees dustin in scoops and they have their little lightsaber fight (which they. had practiced and made beforehand) that is just so sweet to me...

he picks up on things that other people don't!!! as the Normal Guy in a group of people he typically ends up settling in that role BUT he's multiple times picked up on small details that other people don't or DIDN'T notice, which is a neurodivergent trait!! he recognised the song in the russian recording, recalled where it came from like. right after + was the only one who heard dustin in the upside down + other things like noticing when someone's missing from a room

i also think he may be prone to like. i guess sensory overload/emotional dysregulation when he reacts what i think is appropriately to these HUGE scary scenarios but everyone else is like chill out and therefore it's inappropriate to them that he's losing his mind about it. but as time passes and he gets used to it all it lessens for sure (most evident in season 1) but there are moments where he struggles to reign in his truest reactions to things i think LOL. he is also just very dramatic tbf ☝️

his other vague neuroticisms but specifically commenting when things aren't Correct or Right or Safe including complaining about the sterility of the needle he was being injected with mid TORTURE

when he defaults to sports metaphors bc that's the easiest thing he can relate to in s2. god

100% of autistic people i talk to about this all go OH YEAH he's so autistic. tbh i think autistic people relating to a character can be enough of a diagnosis to me. peer diagnosis...

i just think so :)

in conclusion...

#steve harrington #🍦#WARNING . this is like 3k #sts

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monstersandmaw · 2 months

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First time romancing Astarion, and I'm all aboard the ace-spec interpretation of Astarion that I've seen floating around. As someone who's ace, I definitely resonated with him in this scene anyway. That hug reaction from Astarion. Oof.

And the fact that if you also romance Halsin, one of the dialogue options Astarion can give you is to say something like: 'it's not because... we haven't... in a while... is it?'... My heart cracked painfully at that, I'm not going to lie. I have spoken almost exactly that sentence before, worrying that just kissing and physical affection is not enough for someone who's not ace. To have that validated by Astarion was really special for me.

(aka, I really didn't get to know Astarion very well in my first playthrough because he didn't approve of my absolute doormat of a Tav (Kaerlyn the drow) and I didn't spend much time with him, but now with my sassy monk...? I get it. I totally get why you all love Astarion so much).

EDIT: additional dialogue from Raphael talking about Cazador indicates that it might be linked to vampirism (my own headcanon for vampires anyway is they can't get aroused without having fed recently, not just BG3 vamps, but in general)

[some poly-ace-astarion thoughts under the cut too]

I'm not 100% convinced that Astarion is really ok with the consensual poly situation in-game, because he famously doesn't say what he actually wants and is the king of manipulating others, especially in sexual situations (e.g. what Cazador sent him out to do, and how). I'm not sure if I'll reload a save and just have Halsin as a friend...

The dialogue when you check in with Astarion before the Halsin scene is... strained? Odd??? Maybe it's just me over-analysing it. He sounded strained though - his tone high pitched and more grandiose than he'd been in previous cut-scenes, where he was more softly-spoken. It sounded more like early-game Astarion to me...

Also, my dialogue options may have been totally randomised the next time I approached Astarion after a steamy night with Halsin, but they sounded kind of strained there too, and I got the 'I can never say no to you' one, which set my ace people-pleaser alarm bells ringing...

As someone who's poly-romantic but asexual, I can project/imagine here that Astarion has come to care for Tav a lot (more than he ever expected, for sure), and he genuinely wants Tav to be happy. He trusts Tav enough to know that Tav respects his autonomy and right to decide things for himself, and values Astarion for who he is, so Astarion is intellectually/conceptually happy for Tav to get something from Halsin that Astarion is not providing (sex), but perhaps emotionally that additional fact and dynamic is harder to deal with.

That could totally be me projecting though, because that's how I'd react if my husband (not ace) and I (ace) were in that situation (we've discussed it between us, actually XD). Feelings of guilt and inadequacy around sex itself are apparently very common with us ace folks, even in very healthy and happy relationships.

Anyway, that turned into a ramble I didn't intend on a rainy Sunday afternoon. I'm not looking to start any discourse about this though. If you don't see Astarion that way, or had a different experience and interpretation, that's all totally valid and I'm not trying to invalidate it in anyway.

#my two cents on ace-spectrum astarion #astarion #ace astarion #ace spectrum astarion #halsin x astarion x tav #my headcanons are gonna be a lot more nuanced than the game allows i think...#ace #asexuality #bg3

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missmielyhoran · 2 months

Text

Cameras

She looks like a star but only on camera...

[Actor!Harry× Actress Oc!Amyra, Harry× Ellie]

A/N- Based on my interpretation of Cameras by Drake. I know you guys want Stages of grief but guys your girl is getting some alright! I'm happy right now let me be sad cause I'm dating a man afterall he's bound to do something and then I will update stages of grief<3

Warning- Smut babyyyyy, Cheating, Manipulation, Paparazzi, Fake Dating?, Toxic Harry and Oc, Choking, Hate fucking, just me being a menace tbh, ANGST, Enimes to lovers? they never get there tbh, oh and death, depression, abuse

Masterlist

*****

We've been living on the high, they've been talking on a low

But it's cool, know you heard it all before

Whispers were common for Harry. After all, that's what made him what he is today, famous.

The whispers paid his bills. All his luxury life was because of those whispers.

So he wraped his hand around her waist a little to close for coworkers or friends and definitely too close for someone he hated, but whispers grew louder, so did the camera shutters, and so did his pay.

Got you angry about this girl I'm with in all them magazines

Another plate went crashing against the wall just past Harry's head. He flinched and screamed.

"Are you fucking crazy!"

"Yes I am!" Ellie screams as she searches for another thing to throw at him, "You make me fucking crazy!" She screams and throws the magazine at him.

It hits him at the head, and that only makes his anger grow. He looked down and saw her smug face looking back at him like she was happy watching two of them fight, the satisfaction she was having from his misery.

Oh, how she got on his nerves even without being there.

"You're with her on everywhere! Magazines, social media, Twitter fucking everywhere. Everyone's talking about you two!" Ellie screams in anger, bringing the same topic of their fight for the millionth time.

It look like we in love, but only on camera

Only on camera, only on camera

"Ellie, you know it's only for the promotions! We need to have to spread the rumor to gain an audience! People love drama so we have to give them that!" Harry said, which was more like scream. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt headache growing.

"But for how long?" Ellie screamed. The only emotions she felt at this point were anger just anger, no tears, no sadness, no betrayal, just anger.

"I don't fucking know okay! Stop acting like a child and grow the fuck up!" He screamed again at her but louder making Ellie flinch which he noticed and he did feel bad.

See the problem was Harry didn't love Ellie, he care about her and she was a good fuck but he didn't love her but that care made him walk forward with a soft demour and kiss her softly.

"I hate her guts, Ellie. I have nothing with her. Whatever, it is just on camera. " He said, "If you want, you can check my phone"

"Yeah, I want to" Ellie said, sighing as she felt a bit lighter. Harry took his phone out of the jacket and gave it to her. Ellie went through his phone every corner of his phone she looked at, and that's only she felt relieved. There was nothing suspicious, and that made her feel embarrassed and sad about her overreacting.

"I'm so sorry, babe" Ellie said and hugged him. Harry hugged her back and chuckled mockingly

"It's alright Ellie" He said, "She's fucking crazy anyway" He said as he felt the burner phone vibrate in his back pocket.

Baby she looks like a star but only on camera

Only on camera, only on camera

Amyra was the talk of the town and has been since her birth.

Born to famous director dad and more famous actress mom she was the it girl since childhood.

She was pretty with her long red hair and sluttry brown eyes. She didn't have any extraordinary features, but that's what made her different. She was like any other person, but at the same time, she was not. She was Amyra Stockly, and she owned that.

No wonder she got Harry in her claws.

It's hard to stay away

You keep on calling me

Harry loved whispers no matter if it's from the paps or people gossiping about him when he passes by them or if it's from her tangled between the sheets.

"Yeah you fucking like that don't you?" He whispered in her ear and bit on it.

"No I fucking don't you forgot your today's dose of viagra or what?" She said laughing trying to rile Harry up which worked as he paused and groaned.

Harry grabbed her neck and pushed her face down into the pillow, making her lay on the bed on her stomach he pulled out of her immediately and then pushed in one go, making her moan into the pillow. He increased his pace, putting all his energy and thoughts in it.

"I don't even fucking know why I come back" He said in between breaths, "Cause you love my pussy, fucking pussy whipped" She said chuckling.

Harry gave her a particular harsh thrust making her moan louder than he has ever heard and he didn't know how in her green lively world he became harder still inside her.

"You like that baby? Pretty little Raya likes to be fucked like slut" He whispered in her ears as his fingers slid from her stomach to between her legs and he started rubbing her clit.

"She does but pretty little Harold seems to have forgotten about my clit it's on the fucking left" She says with gasping breaths. Harry feels embarrassment for a second but then goes back in with double encouragement and starts rubbing her clit faster.

She was so close so close to her eternal bliss when Harry's phone went off. She picked it up and as soon as she saw Ellie's name she threw it across the room making it shatter into pieces and all Harry did was chuckle cause it wasn't the first time it happened and certainly wasn't last.

Harry pushed on her back, making her arch more and started thrusting deeper, she screams on the top of her lungs as she squirted all over the bedsheets.

"Holy fuck" He said in disbelieve, the sight pushed him to his own high and he came all inside her filling her up to the brim.

Harry fell on the bed beside her, both heaving like animals. After a few minutes, she stood up and put on her slik robe and walked towards the windowsill and sat down lighting the cigarette.

The sight was somewhat what you would see in those Renaissance paintings, her robe slipping from her shoulder, the cigarette smoking mixing with the sunlight that fell just right on her hair making her look like all the sins and virtue combined in the heaven and the hell.

She was Harry's personal heaven in hell.

For a moment, Harry could've even said that he loved her, but he wouldn't. There was only one thing he could love that was money as much as the temptress she was. Nothing was worse than those green papers.

So, he stood up, got dressed, and walked out of the room like he cared so less about her. He walked out like he got the thing he wanted and couldn't have cared less.

But that wasn't true, was it? They both knew it just didn't want to acknowledge it.

So he left his temptress, his only sunshine in darkness on the windowsill with sin on her fingers and lips.

How you mean, how you mean, what you know about the team

You just know what you get told girl I see behind the scene

Harry didn't mean to peek, but when he heard shouting coming out of the trailer, he couldn't help himself.

The door was slightly ajar, but it was enough for him to look inside and watch her with a very angry look on her face, fighting with her manager still in set clothes.

"I can't do this shit anymore," She shouted, "I'm quitting. I can't do this movie, this spotlight, this fucking everything!" She shouted and this was the first time Harry saw her vulnerable. The raw expression on her face was much different from what she shows on the movie it was real, it was her.

"Why now? You've been in this since you were a newborn. Why now?" The manger asked her, "You can't do this cause you're tired or you are in love with your boytoy?" He asked, smirking.

She kept looking up at him with anger but now with slight hesitation. Robert laughed full of mokery and shook his head.

"Nothing to laugh about. I want out, and that's it." She put her foot down. Robert took a step forward and gribbed the back of her head, taking a chunk of her hair in her hand and making her wince.

Harry's hand formed a fist, but he refrained himself from intervening.

"I make rules here not you and you will do as I say or little kid wants this to get to her mom so, I will do that" He says with a evil smile when she doesn't say anything else he lets her go.

"That's what I thought."

Harry got out of the way before Robert could see him. As soon as he was out of the trailer, he went inside. Why? he didn't know he just wanted to.

He didn't know what he thought he would see, maybe her crying, sobbing on floor or breaking down whole trailer in anger shouting at everyonea anything expect her standing in front of the mirror flixing her hair like nothing happened.

He walked in slowly.

She looked at him.

He walked towards her and stood there looking into her honeycomb like mirage eyes and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug.

He felt her for the first time. He felt her rigid heart of stone melt into a puddle, and so he held her tighter, and for some reason, he never wanted to let her go.

He hoped she thought the same.

She spilled whisky on her shirt, she gon' have to get it cleaned

She been going way too hard, someone has to intervene

It was her birthday party, and since movie had wrapped up shooting there was a combined party.

And Harry did the stupidest thing he could.

His mind was a mess after that day, it felt like everything between them changed. Even their sex somehow felt....softer.

How a hug could change everything?

So, he took Ellie to the party and he regretted it as soon as he said it to her.

The cameras, the paps, everyone asking the same question, who is she, and the answer he gave was lound and clear, "Oh she's my friend."

She didn't seem to have taken it well though.

Harry saw her wandering eye falling on him, looking him up and down with the same hunger as always and then Ellie came in and pulled him into a kiss.

Amd then she was gone.

The person who's birthday party it was gone and no one cared. He was certain that if someone else would have cut her cake they wouldn't have cared.

But she came to cut the cake, drunk so, drunk and probably high also. She was stumbling, giggling it, it was endering to watch and concering also.

She cut the cake with Harry beside her playing the "supportive boyfriend" for media. She didn't feed him the piece, but to her other costar, Shelly. She doesn't even know Shelly! Harry was pissed to say the least, so while the cake got distributed, he decided to talk to her, but again, she vanished in thin air.

Harry for the whole night kept searching for her his eyes wandering to find her which annoyed Ellie a lot but she kept her cool and tried to pull him into a small kiss only for him to push Ellie away.

"What the fuck to you actually want?" Ellie asked him just for Harry to give her a eye roll.

"Not here, go back to your house we will talk there" He said to her before taking off to look for her.

Harry searched the whole house, every nook and corner from first floor to the last one the place left was the last bathroom on the top floor and he really hoped he would find her there.

He did find her sitting in the bathtub. Her heels were on the floor, her dress bunched up with whiskey stain on them, her makeup running down her cheeks all messy, yet she looked like something poet would write poems about.

If Harry wasn't so sure he would've said she just fucked someone but he saw her, he felt her cause he was feeling it too.

"Why are you ignoring me?" He asked. It was so stupid, but he wanted to know, and he also didn't know how to talk to her.

Her red eyes fell on him, and again Harry was amazed how intoxicating she was, how her single glance gave Harry so much relief like thirsty person in dessert just got his thirst quenched.

"You look handsome" She said with a small smile. He was in a sage green satin shirt with a dark blue suit accidentally matching with her green dress, which was for once was not planned.

"Not answer of my question." He said back and walked towards her and got into the tub in front of her.

"I don't need to answer anything to you" she said, taking a swing of champagne bottle he just noticed in her hand.

"You do. Why.are.you.ignoring.me?" He said through gritted teeth pushing his face closer to hers.

She looked up and Harry saw, he saw the same vulnerability he saw few weeks ago, he saw her, "You came with her" She said in a soft voice and Harry's whole body melted into a puddle. How could a person whose heart is made of stone could be melted by other person with the same heart. Maybe she broke him, rocks break rocks, and ignited fire that Harry feels every time he's near her.

"y-yes, she's my girlfriend" He said so unsure he cringed himself which she caught and smiled showing off her left side dimple.

"You love her?" She asked after some time. He didn't know who she was talking about, and he wanted to ask if it was Ellie or her, but how could he love anyone other than himself? Was he even capable of it? Maybe he was, but a scared broken man could have never loved right.

"Doesn't matter" He replied back, and her smile fell into a sad one. She took a deep breath and fell back, resting her back against the cold tiled floor.

"You're right it doesn't matter." She whispered, drinking again and everything went silent. "You know Harry I can have anything I want." She spoke after some time.

"Yeah I know you're filthy rich eveyone knows that" He said scoffing.

"Yet I can't have one thing I want and it's so annoying. Cause I always get what I want I'm Amyra Stockly and I can't" She said through a chuckle and scoff. He didn't know how to comfort her. He didn't know why he wanted to comfort her. He hated her but maybe that was it, he hated her.

"What do you want Raya?" He asked into a soft voice. She looked at him, so deep he thought she could see his soul, his heart beating so fast it could power a city lighting up her name.

"Really like that nickname. First one I ever got to be honest" She said, "If you don't consider slut to be a nickname"

"Why are you dodging all of my questions?" Harry asked feeling annoyed by her nonchalant behavior.

"It's called good media training kinda get used to it when you have been doing it for so long" She said with a smirk and he knew she was just edging him to snap but that wasn't gonna happen that day.

"Forget that tell me what you got me for present? It's my birthday, after all, or did you think you would get away with birthday sex?" She said with a playful tone.

"No I brought you something" Harry said with a smile, he worked for a month straight on her gift, the one she knew she would love but as he searched and felt nothing in his pockets he was reminded that it was in Ellie's purse, "Shit I forgot it at home I promise I will give it to you"

"You better, I will be waiting" She said taking a swing of drink again.

He just hummed and watched her. Everyone knew she was gorgeous, the red hair, brown eyes with slight freckles on her nose she was like some Goddess sent on earth.

The light bouncing from the mirror in front of tub bounced and fell softly on her side. Harry scooted closer to her and tucked her messy strand of hair behind her ear, it was missing earring which made him smile.

He looked at her and pulled her in a kiss, it was soft like sleeping a bed of clouds, he didn't know what shit feeling butterflies was like until that moment. The kiss left both of them breathless, her lips glistening and swollen made him love all over again.

"If it was your last night how would you spend it?" She whispered to him, her eyes not leaving his and he wished he could have seen it but he couldn't.

"I would spend it with someone I love" He whispered back, his fingers brushing her hair making her hum in contentment.

The moment soon was destroyed as his phone rang and he saw Ellie's name pop up on the screen, made him so angry he wanted to throw his phone across the room but he took a deep breath and picked it up.

"I don't want to waste much of you time just want to give you back her gift sonce it's her birthday and all. I'm the parking" She said as soon as he picked up the call.

"I will be there in 5" He replied and started to get up when she gripped his hand.

"Stay" She said.

"What?" He asked in confusion.

"Stay just for tonight. Don't go to her" She whispered so softly he could've missed it but he didn't know how he could when she was all he could see.

"What are you-"

"Stay here with me in this bathroom for one night. Just you and me" She cut him off. The look in her eyes was something he could never forget. Even in darkness, her eyes shined like sunlight peeking through the holes of a dark room, and maybe that's somewhat what Harry saw her as.

She burned for her whole life but shined into everyone elses. So, he walked towards that door and this time he didn't leave his temptress but he locked the door and walked back to her. He gave into her, and she pulled him into her like they were made of the same starlight.

Somewhere during the night of their deep conversation and laughs, Harry fell asleep. The cool and hard tile made his back hurt. He got up, groaning in pain, and with a raging headache. He looked around, trying to find her asleep beside him, but she wasn't there.

He walked towards the door and saw the reflection of himself in the mirror, lipstick stain littering on his cheeks and neck, he smiled as he remembered her kissing all of him but it was so innocent he felt like a teenager in love.

Baby she look like a star, but only on camera

Only on camera, only on camera

Many times, life has taken an unexpected turn for Harry, but this was something that made his head spin.

Amyra Stockly found dead in her bathrub was not the news he ever expected to hear. That was the first time in his life he cried since he was a baby.

He was a mess. He didn't do any press tour or got out of his house until one day, when he found the wrapped up gift.

He never had the courage to go to her grave, he was at her funeral but he ran away from there also, how could he see the eyes that he saw the whole universe in be closed forever?

It was a cruel joke on his life.

First time he fell in love and universe took it away from him.

They took her.

So, he collected all of his courage and walked up to her grave, which, just like her, was beautiful, flowers surrounded her grave from fans and whatever friends and family she had.

He sat down not even caring about getting his clothes dirty it was last of his concerns, he fished his pocket for the thing he came for.

"I know you're still waiting. Even dead you are stubborn showing up in my dreams and sometimes in front of my eyes giving me false hope of you being here with me still" He said with a chuckle.

"I got a tattoo for you" He said, touching the lipstick marks made on his neck, "I know your narcissistic ass is loving it" Harry laughed now seeing blurry due to tears filling his eyes.

He took out the envelope from his pocket and duct taped it to her grave cause hell he was not letting it go anywhere but her, the song he wrote for her and for her only.

He hid it under the flowers so it could stay like that for a while, as he was hiding it he saw a picture of him and her. It was only genuine photo of them where the smiles where real on both of their faces and it made all his patience crumble.

"Wish you were still here" He said through sobs. His broken voice was interrupted with a loud thunder and then rain.

It wasn't even rainy that day but he knew.

It wasn't universe.

It was his universe.

It was her.

*****

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lingthusiasm · 4 months

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Lingthusiasm Episode 87: If I were an irrealis episode

Language lets us talk about things that aren't, strictly speaking, entirely real. Sometimes that's an imaginative object (is a toy sword a real sword? how about Excalibur?). Other times, it's a hypothetical situation (such as "if it rains, we'll cancel the picnic" - but neither the picnic nor the rain have happened yet. And they might never happen. But also they might!). Languages have lots of different ways of talking about different kinds of speculative events, and together they're called the irrealis.

In this episode, your hosts Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne get enthusiastic about some of our favourite examples under the irrealis umbrella. We talk about various things that we can mean by "reality", such as how existing fictional concepts, like goblins playing Macbeth, differ from newly-constructed fictions, like our new creature the Frenumblinger. We also talk about hypothetical statements using "if" (including the delightfully-named "biscuit conditionals), and using the "if I were a rich man" (Fiddler on the Roof) to "if I was a rich girl" (Gwen Stefani) continuum to track the evolution of the English subjunctive. Finally, a few of our favourite additional types of irrealis categories: the hortative, used to urge or exhort (let's go!), the optative, to express wishes and hopes (if only...), the dubitative, for when you doubt something, and the desiderative (I wish...).

Read the transcript here.

Announcements:

Thank you to everyone who shared Lingthusiasm with a friend or on social media for our seventh anniversary! It was great to see what you love about Lingthusiasm and which episodes you chose to share. We hope you enjoyed the warm fuzzies!

In this month’s bonus episode, Gretchen gets enthusiastic about swearing (including rude gestures) in fiction with science fiction and fantasy authors Jo Walton and Ada Palmer, authors of the Thessaly books and Terra Ignota series, both super interesting series we've ling-nerded out about before on the show. We talk about invented swear words like "frak" and "frell", sweary lexical gaps (why don't we swear with "toe jam!"), and interpreting the nuances of regional swear words like "bloody" in fiction.

Join us on Patreon now to get access to this and 80+ other bonus episodes! You’ll also get access to the Lingthusiasm Discord server where you can chat with other language nerds.

Here are the links mentioned in the episode:

'Irrealis' entry on Wikipedia

'How do you get someone to care about Shakespeare? Two words: Goblin Macbeth' on CBC

xkcd comic 'Conditionals'

'Pedantic about biscuit conditionals' post on Language Log

'The pragmatics of biscuit conditionals' by Michael Franke

Lingthusiasm episode 'This time it gets tense - The grammar of time'

'Realis and Irrealis: Forms and concepts of the grammaticalisation of reality' by Jennifer R. Elliott

'If all the raindrops' on YouTube

'If I Were a Rich Man (song)' entry on Wikipedia

'Rich Girl (Gwen Stefani song)' entry on Wikipedia

'Louchie Lou & Michie One' entry on Wikipedia

'Louchie Lou & Michie One - Rich Girl' on YouTube

'Semi-Toned - Rich Girl (acapella)' on YouTube

'Subjunctive mood' entry on Wikipedia

'Céline Dion - Pour que tu m'aimes encore' on YouTube

WALS entry for 'Feature 73A: The Optative'

Lingthusiasm bonus episode 'How we make Lingthusiasm transcripts - Interview with Sarah Dopierala'

Lingthusiasm episode 'Listen to the imperatives episode'

'Dubitative' entry on Wikipedia

'A grammatical overview of Yolmo (Tibeto-Burman)' entry on WikiJournal of Humanities

You can listen to this episode via Lingthusiasm.com, Soundcloud, RSS, Apple Podcasts/iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also download an mp3 via the Soundcloud page for offline listening.

To receive an email whenever a new episode drops, sign up for the Lingthusiasm mailing list.

You can help keep Lingthusiasm ad-free, get access to bonus content, and more perks by supporting us on Patreon.

Lingthusiasm is on Bluesky, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Mastodon, and Tumblr. Email us at contact [at] lingthusiasm [dot] com

Gretchen is on Bluesky as @GretchenMcC and blogs at All Things Linguistic.

Lauren is on Bluesky as @superlinguo and blogs at Superlinguo.

Lingthusiasm is created by Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne. Our senior producer is Claire Gawne, our production editor is Sarah Dopierala, our production assistant is Martha Tsutsui Billins, and our editorial assistant is Jon Kruk. Our music is ‘Ancient City’ by The Triangles.

This episode of Lingthusiasm is made available under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share Alike license (CC 4.0 BY-NC-SA).

#language #linguistics #lingthusiasm #episode 87 #podcasts #episodes #irrealis #morphology #syntax #semantics #mood #if I was a rich girl #if I were a rich man #SoundCloud

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fushiglow · 7 months

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Who the hell is Gojō Satoru?

Some thoughts on his character in 236

Seeing everyone arguing about Gojō’s characterisation in 236 over the last week makes me realise just how good the chapter is, no matter how dissatisfied I am with Gojō's death.

When you're upset about something, it's hard to judge accurately whether something is 'bad' or whether you simply don't like it — and they are different things. Interestingly, 236 presented me with a conflict I've never experienced when following a story before. I'm really disappointed with the way Gege Akutami chose to end Gojō's story, but I think 236 will go down as one of the most beautiful chapters of Jujutsu Kaisen. In that sense, my feelings about the chapter after a week of sitting with it aren't too unrecognisable from my initial feelings — just with all of the big emotions that were colouring my judgment stripped away.

I think there *is* value in immediate reactions, and I think much of the initial outrage about the chapter was simply people grieving what was an intentionally shocking end to a beloved character. I hate that people tried to police social media reactions to the chapter, because I think everyone should be allowed to process their feelings in their own online space (as long as they don't bring harm to others, of course).

Aside from the outpouring of emotion, there have been countless arguments about 'who' Gojō was as a person in the end, and that doesn't sit right with me either. I think many artists would be disappointed to hear fans of their work insist that there is one 'proper' interpretation — because the value of sharing your art with the world is in how different people receive it based on their own experiences.

To me, that's Gojō Satoru as a character.

I know lots of people have already shared some variation of the post below (and everyone has moved on to 237 now anyway) but this was sitting in my drafts so I thought I may as well hit post before 237 is officially released!

In my analysis of Gojō's character after 235, I talked about how Gege Akutami keeps Gojō at a distance from both the readers and the characters around him, making it deliberately difficult to know who he is as a person. Despite that, everyone in-universe and out has something to say about Gojō's character, but we've never really known how Gojō views himself until this chapter.

For maybe the first time in Jujutsu Kaisen, we get to deep dive into Gojō's interior world and hear his innermost thoughts when he's at his lowest and most vulnerable. As a result, something fascinating happened across the fandom.

Even when Gojō literally tells Getō that the 'wretchedness of isolation' is something he shares with Sukuna, that he gave everything he had so that Sukuna might understand him and be understood in turn, and that he knows not everyone will get it, some people called Gojō 'out of character' in 236.

And isn't that just so damn meta?!

Akutami loves challenging readers' assumptions through his characters, so while the chapter is shocking, it isn't really surprising. I'd even go as far as suggesting that the journey of emotions the reader experiences while reading 236 is the exact same journey Gojō is going on in-story.

The thing is, I've seen tons of people arguing about whether Gojō was selfless or selfish, whether he fought for the love of his students or for the love of the fight, whether he took strong young sorcerers under his wing from a place of care or simply as a means to an ends — but I think the point is that it's always been all of those things at once.

Because he's human, and humans contain multitudes.

I think we were meant to have our view of Gojō shaken by 236 — the same way Gojō's view of himself is challenged in this chapter. However, just because we can find some truth in Nanami's criticism of Gojō, doesn't mean that his interpretation of Gojō's character is the correct one — especially when it's entirely possible that what happens in the airport isn't even real.

Getō listens with empathy as Gojō confesses his self-doubt and regrets, the solitude of his strength, and the dehumanisation he experienced as the 'Strongest'. He even expresses jealousy when Gojō admits he had fun fighting someone strong enough to understand him. Then, only two pages after Gojō says, 'You can cherish a flower and help it bloom, but you don't ask it to understand you', Nanami appears and calls him a pervert for his approach to sorcery.

It's actually really funny.

Importantly, Nanami isn't exactly wrong for saying the enjoyment Gojō gets from fighting is a little disturbing (and, to be clear, I *adore* this about him) — it's just not the whole picture of Gojō Satoru.

Akutami actually gives us some lovely imagery to visually represent the gulf between those who understand the solitude of strength and those who don't — Gojō and Getō sit on one side of the bench while Nanami and Haibara sit on the other, with each duo facing in opposite directions.

I don't think Akutami is implying that either side is wrong or right — it's just two different perspectives. Nevertheless, Gojō is pictured side by side with someone who understands him, and back to back with someone who doesn't understand him but who cares for him all the same.

Recognising this, he pivots to asking Nanami about something they can both relate to and receives an important lesson in return. What Nanami means and what Gojō takes from it is deliberately ambiguous, like everything that's discussed inside the airport:

Could Sukuna have won without the Ten Shadows?

Who does the 'flower' represent: Gojō, the people around him, or both?

Did Gojō reach Sukuna like he hoped?

Why exactly is Getō jealous?

Does Gojō feel satisfied?

Is Nanami's assessment of Gojō's character correct?

What is the relevance of north and south?

Which direction did Gojō choose?

Is it all in Gojō's imagination or is it real?

Whether we'll receive answers to those questions remains to be seen, but I highly suspect that most of them don't even have a definitive answer.

Once again, it's just a matter of perspective, and I think that's Gojō's character in a nutshell. Whichever side of the bench you're sitting on, whatever you see in Gojō says more about you than it does about him — and that's exactly why it's so fascinating to see the fandom erupt into arguments about who's interpreting the character correctly.

I can honestly say I think the chapter is really beautiful even though I hate what happened to Gojō, and that's an entirely new experience for me. For that alone, Akutami has my praise. Whatever happens in the rest of the story will determine whether 236 becomes my favourite chapter in the whole of Jujutsu Kaisen — isn't that bizarre?

By the way, I found a really thoughtful post about some of the word choices in 236. The poster shared some really interesting insights across a series of posts and they convey the tone of the chapter really well. Well worth checking out!

#i forgot to post this until now ooooops #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk 236 #呪術廻戦 #gojo satoru #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #jjk meta #jjk analysis #jujutsu kaisen meta #jujutsu kaisen analysis #my writing #fushiglow

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drconstellation · 4 months

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First-Order Archangels

Part 2: Foils of War

This post follows on from Part 1: Maybe You'll See An Archangel

In Part 1 of this meta we looked at some parallels between Gabriel and Crowley that were being shown to us in S2. This time we are going to focus on the differences, as well as some parallels between their partners, Beelzebub and Aziraphale.

A foil is a character who contrasts with the protagonist, to highlight or differentiate certain qualities between the characters. Crowley and Gabriel do this because they have come from essentially the same place, and share some story elements, but they still end up in different places.

Lets start with their first meeting in S2.

There's a couple of things about this scene worth noting. The first is Crowley's reaction. In my honest opinion, this is seems a a bit of an overreaction, even considering what happened during the body swap scenes. The reaction is more about something that happened to Crowley himself, not to Aziraphale, and my guess is its something to do with Crowley's Fall. But what exactly happened at that point, I can't say.

The second is the white bust. It does look like it is passing some kind of judgment on Gabriel there, and they are perfectly aligned in the shot-blocking, just as they were aligned over Crowley's shoulders before he turned around and saw Gabriel in the GIF above. (Yep. Go back and take a close look - Gabriel sits on Crowley's right shoulder, and the bust sits right on his left.)

I talked about what it represented here in Part 1 of Gabriel as a Shoulder Angel: S2 Study

This bust is identified in the meta A. Z. Fell & Co. bookshop and its statues by @youryurigoddess as the Head of the Victorious Athlete. The op applies an interpretation in context to Aziraphale but seeing how we get Gabriel posed next to it twice, perhaps we should have a closer look at what it might be trying to tell us about this angel as well. The op says: "The presented athlete is victorious because he’s the epitome of the Platonic Triad of higher Forms: Truth, Beauty, and Excellence, understood in the wider context of the Greek Aretē."

Arete is a nebulous concept, and while it meant one thing in the earlier post it is trying to convey a slightly different message here. Its about combining a number of qualities to live up to your best potential of excellence. Such a person would be displaying the highest levels of strength, courage and wit. Having been confronted with Gabriel unexpectedly, Crowley has just lost his wits and courage - for a moment, at least.

Gabriel, still stripped down and presented to us in a basic, classical style of robing, is dealing with one of the other aspects of arete. "See, told you I looked like a Gabriel," he says, standing on the angelic right-side. Truth is virtue, truth is knowledge, and in arete virtue is knowledge as well.

In vino veritas means "In wine, there is truth." It refers to the fact that people under the influence of alcohol tend to speak without filters.

We've already talked about one meaning for the red horse on the wine bottle Crowley obtains to do some thinking with once he's hit with Nina's comment about people's love lives in S2E5. Yes, everything on that table right there is about love. But if you read all the reblogs on that post-thread, a number of people also mention that red horses are connected to War (as in the third Horseperson of the Apocalypse that didn't happen - their horse, if they had one, is supposed to be red.)

Firstly, the date on the bottle impossibly old for reality (believe me, you will not find a bottle that old in a little cafe like that, not matter where you are) so it is more likely a fictional date to refer us to the year before WWII started, the last peaceful year for most people before widespread war broke out (hmm, a bit of foreshadowing there, maybe?)

Secondly, and more importantly, Crowley pauses to pick up the bottle with the passionate red horse of War* on it to take it with him when he goes to talk to Gabriel.

Oh, I'm not here to make peace, Crowley declares as he enters the room - look at the way he turns the label to face Gabriel as he enters - I'm here to do battle. Isn't that what you wanted, Gabriel?

(If you go back to the scene blocking for the following sequence, you'll notice that Crowley starts on the right-side, the side of Heaven, that wants to re-start and hopefully win the War, but Gabriel, who has changed his mind, is more on Crowley's usual left-side now, wanting peace instead.)

In S1 Gabriel was the one all for starting, or more rather, continuing a war that was never concluded, but now seems to be backing away from that, and Crowley just can't work it out.

The recording of the trial in Heaven gives some explanation as to why, but not the whole reason for Gabriel's back-down on war.

He is removed from the office of Supreme Archangel for the reason of "[refusing] to exercise your celestial authority." I'll come back to this shortly.

On the other hand Crowley will fight on the spot if required but would rather avoid a prolonged war if at all possible. And he doesn't hesitate to lay down his own authority to achieve that. Astonishingly, no one in the bookshop disputes this, and he quickly takes control of the gathered celestial councils.

CROWLEY: Nobody's at war. You idiots sent an idiot to lead a gang of idiots to attack a bookshop. Those idiots there want their Archangel back so they can fire him.

Then:

MICHAEL: [clears throat]If it is to be war… CROWLEY: No, no, no, no, no war. Aziraphale, let's sort this out. Where's the cardboard box?

Crowley gets Gabriel back to his true self, rescues the mortal humans from being turned in pillars of salt, asks Aziraphale to take over from him as he leads Maggie and Nina outside, and kindly remembers to retrieve Mr Brown from wherever he was being held in Hell (he was not killed, Neil commented on a tumblr post he was merely taken to Hell and held in a cell overnight; Crowley just retrieved him from that hell hole.)

(OK, so I had something else here at first but discussion on another post at the time of writing has led me to delete it. The main aim of my argument was to show that Crowley naturally took control of the room to avert war before the Metatron showed up - and no one disputed or objected to it.)

The word "authority" is used multiple times in Ep.6, so there is some emphasis on it being important. Once the demons left, and it was just the angels talking, Michael tried to take over:

MICHAEL: I am authorized to remove the name of anyone who helped Gabriel from the Book of Life. You will never have existed, Aziraphale. In the absence of Gabriel, I am the Supreme Archangel. URIEL: Duty officer.

It wasn't the first time Michael tried to claim the position of Supreme Archangel on their own - with Uriel pushing back - and it brought to mind the famous saying "Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely." I like to check the exact wording of well-known sayings such as this, because they tend to get misquoted, and I know I myself misremember them, so I was interested to find out the context behind its origin, because I think it offers an insight into one of the cut minisodes for S2 - the one that would have been set in the Vatican. The writer of said quote, Lord Acton, was making a comment on how historians should judge the abuse of power by past rulers, especially popes. Unchecked power tends to lead to abuse of said power. The Metatron arrives to put a check on Michael's grasp on power, but who's keeping a check on the Metatron if God is not talking to anyone at the moment?

Control is something Gabriel feels he has never had, even though he is nominally in charge.

BEELZEBUB: Well, you didn't win. GABRIEL: Tell me about it. Everyone in Heaven is all like, "Well, you're the commander-in-chief, can't you just make the war happen anyway?" Like, I make the rules. BEELZEBUB: [scoffs] That's exactly what my lot said. GABRIEL: Well, it's good to know there's someone who understands. Thank you. It's a pity we'll never speak again.

In S1 when Aziraphale asks Gabriel who summons the Four Horsepeople for the Apocalypse, he doesn't know, and doesn't really seem too phased about it either, as long it happens. And there are a few other times in S1 he just seems to be going with the flow as well.

The trial was probably the first time Gabriel ever got to say "no" to anybody, and ironically he was exercising his celestial authority, even though he was accused of not doing so. Up until then, he'd always been more of a yes-man.

GABRIEL: I told you you could ask. However, I am the only First-Order archangel in the room, or, you know, the Universe, so I'm not gonna answer so much. But you feel free to knock yourself out with all the asking. Anyway, Armageddon the Sequel, that's a nah.

And there is Gabriel also saying no to answering questions!

One thing I've often wondered - can Gabriel's trial offer us a look back at what happened to Crowley before his Fall?

Something, some link between Gabriel and Crowley, is implied when Gabriel states he is the only First-Order Archangel in the room. I'm not just talking about the prince of Heaven comment, but Crowley could have been put through a similar trial before his Fall and shown similar defiance? Who would dare say no to the Metatron?

Crowley has nearly always been ready to say no when necessary, since the very beginning. He said no to killing children, he said no to taking up a Duke of Hell position (so far 😉) and he said no to Armageddon, amongst other things.

The scene down in Hell with the two thrones in S2E1, where Beelzebub offers Crowley "anything [his] nasty little heart desires" has a lot of parallels with the Metatron's offer to Aziraphale and is jam-packed full of other good stuff, but I'm just going to pick out a couple of aspects here, because I promised some Beelzebub-Aziraphale parallels.

One is the implication that Crowley was an equal to Beelzebub when they were both angels when Crowley responds to the threat about the Book of Life.

The two of them sitting together, side by side, reinforces this impression of them being equals of some kind. And just as Beelzebub is an Aziraphale parallel, so Aziraphale is Crowley's equal as well - in the present day. (They're a team, a group of the two of them, an Us.)

But what about when Beelzebub gets up to face Crowley, and leaves the other throne vacant? Hmm.

So we know the second throne was supposed to be for Gabriel, who never arrived. During the course of the series it gets pushed to one side, then disappears altogether, and Beelzebub appears on a cushioned white and gold chair reminiscent of Aziraphale's chair by his desk (see below.)

Ah, on second thoughts, I'm going to leave the rest of what I was going to say here for another meta (sorry!) because it pertains more to speculation about Crowley and Aziraphale in S3. Let's move on...

BEELZEBUB: Do you ever think, wouldn't it just be nice if someone told you what a good job you're doing?

@vidavalor already covered most of this parallel here, but while Aziraphale has Crowley to fall back on, and Crowley is happy to oblige with a few words of - lets not call it a "praise kink," isn't the love language term Words of Affirmation? - now Aziraphale is not reporting to Heaven, Beelzebub hasn't. Well, Demon Josh really isn't the appropriate person to be delivering that, anyway! And part of the problem lies with the next item to be discussed. I'm wondering if Gabriel is going to need to a bit of work in that department.

We need to have a talk about the following exchange between Beelzebub and Shax towards the end of S2E4:

BEELZEBUB: Can you enter the bookshop, without permission? SHAX: Not technically, no. But give me a legion of Hell's finest troops and see what I can do. It's a chance I've been waiting for, Lord Beelzebub. To be clear, you are hereby authorizing me to storm the angel's bookshop, sending wave after wave of demons to besiege it until it falls and capture the Archangel, destroying anything and everything that stands in our way? BEELZEBUB: No. I am not authorizing you to do that. SHAX: Oh. BEELZEBUB: I am commanding you to do it. I want you there, Shax. On the ground. Bravely leading the attack into the bookshop, leading the army of the damned.

I've already mentioned that there is a bit of emphasis on the word "authorize" and "authority" in places in S2, and this is one of them. But here it has a particular context. You need to ask what the difference is between commanding someone and authorizing someone, and it turns out there is a significant difference in meaning. (No, it doesn't mean pulling out a hand-written permit from your back pocket ...)

An authorization is mere official permission for something, but a command is a directive that implies there is a hierarchy in place, and the one giving the command is the one in authority who expects compliance. This was Beelzebub reminding Shax where her place was.

Later, Aziraphale takes command of the bookshop...well, somebody has to. Or, if you don't agree its here, perhaps it will be in S3. He's definitely not at the top of either hierarchy here but this is his domain.

I think I will wrap up this meta with one last example - the two parallels reaching out for their significant others.

There are probably a few more examples that could be discussed, if enough come up in discussion I'll do another post. Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed this look from a different angel - er, angle.

"Enemies, as well as lovers, come to resemble each other over a period of time." - Sydney J. Harris

*There have a been comments lately on other posts linking Nanny Ashtoresh's name with the ancient goddess Astarte, a goddess of both Love and War, amongst other things.

This meta is part of a series on Gabriel

Gabriel as a Shoulder Angel: S1 Study

S2 Study Part 1: Ep.1 The Arrival and Ep. 2 The Clue

S2 Study Part 2: Ep.3 I Know Where I'm Going and Ep. 5 The Ball

S2 Study Part 3: Ep.6 Every Day

First-Order Archangels Part 1: Maybe You'll See An Archangel

First-Order Archangels Part 3: Seeing Eye to Eye

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #good omens analysis #crowley #gabriel #aziraphale #beelzebub #shax #michael #the metatron #red horse or war #so glad to finish this one #been nearly six weeks to get it all out

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