#this has no business being this funny lol

[pseudophan]

im mad at everything and no wad upload so let’s discuss they joke about their only real fight being about the iPhone ring tone but what do you think they actually get annoyed at each other about or did in the past. i think that being therapized has helped but I can’t imagine Dans short temper is always easy to deal with for Phil

lol look i don't wanna speculate too much about what they actually argue about but i also find it so funny whenever they say they never fight cause there is no chance IN HELL that's true. obviously they don't want to talk about it cause it's super none of our business like i don't blame them at all but it's sooo funny of them to be like yeah we never fight, our biggest discussion was about an iphone ringtone. as fucking if. i know you want to kill each other sometimes it's fine

#answered

[stevenrogered]

She's expecting me to come home. Which you do have to do at some point.

#911 #911edit #911 abc #911 on abc #911 on fox #911 fox #911 spoilers #buddie #buddieedit #evan buckley #eddie diaz #oliver stark #ryan guzman #tuserkaz #mystuff #this has no business being this funny lol #his delivery of that last line had me laughing for a good 5 minutes #1k

[thefrsers]

#hes such a smartass sometimes😂😭

#911 #911 abc #911edit #7.04 #athena grant #athenagrantedit #bobby nash #bobbynashedit #bathena #bathenaedit #gifs #mine #he has no business being so funny alsdkjdf #like his comic timing is always on par and so good lol #had me CRACKING

[blujayonthewing]

#I've played with irl atheists and catholics and everything in between #but it rarely feels like faith is a real factor for anyone-- DM or player #outside of‚ again‚ divine spellcasters and Big Epic Plot Things #I mean there are a couple of 'RAAAHGH FUCK THE GODS >:C' edgy backstory types but #no one is just Normally Culturally Religious and it's WEIRD #like it's not even a matter of faith in dnd! the gods are LITERALLY OBJECTIVELY PROVABLY REAL #so what does that MEAN for the average person! how does it shape language? business? culture? #where are the people wearing holy symbols like amulets-- or the way modern christians very casually wear crosses? #blessings over meals? prayers before bed? burnt offerings? #and like I enjoy thinking about world and culture building but I know that's A Whole Thing but even just like... #it doesn't feel like anyone believes in gods at all except clerics and paladins #like they DO because they factually exist but in the same way I 'believe in' like. the president of france. #like yeah he exists and is important to some people but has no bearing on my life whatsoever #that's such a fucking weird approach to the DIVINE in a polytheist world where those gods are YOUR CULTURE'S GODS?? #I am bad at this myself but I'm not religious so it's harder for me to remember what Being Religious All The Time Casually is like lol #funny enough my character with the most intentionally religious background in this sense #is one of my ones who's ended up wrapped up in Big Plot God Things lmao #'aubree starts the campaign with a holy symbol of yondalla because of course she does why wouldn't she' #'oh okay well she's gonna get deeply and personally entangled with a bunch of death gods immediately' fdkjghkdf oh!! welp #you don't really pray to urogalan unless you're breaking ground for a new building or someone just died so it's STILL weird for her lol #but at least I had the framework there of 'oh yeah the gods exist and matter to me and my everyday life and culture' in general #about me #posts from twitter

[peacemakerswings]

#Beyblade Burst #Shu Kurenai #beyblade #has anyone done this yet. probably but anyway i did a pretty good job drawing that shu for this shtty edit lol #also shu being the raging bulls manager/owner when hes a teenager is soooo funny to me especially when they bring up how busy he is

[icewindandboringhorror]

I have a big google doc thing where I keep track of media and stuff (putting everything in loosely ranked categories), which is mostly just for my own reference so I know what tv shows I've already seen before, etc. and I never really look back through it, typically just a quick "okay, watched two movie in the past 8 months, need to quickly slap them somewhere in the lists. okay. done. save document. exit". But today I was actually reading through some of the old notes and there are like... MULTIPLE places where my comment is basically "It would have been good if it were about elves" or "I wish there was a fantasy show made in this same style" or "It's well made, but I just keep thinking about how I would like it more if everyone was an elf or was in old 1700s costumes" or etc like...... lol.... Most biased media ranking system on earth blatantly made by someone with an extremely hyperspecific range of narrow interests. It'd be like if a food reviewer only had 5 foods they actually liked, so they'd just go to a pizza place and be like "eh, the pizza was okay, but I just think it would be better if it was cereal instead. :/ ...2 out of 10"

#Which.. I mean... I am allowed to be biased because literally it's just for my own personal reference (or occasionall #y to send to friends or something if we're discussing the topic) so like.. nowhere am I saying 'I am the god of perfect taste and these #rankings are objectively the absolute truth and everyone should have my same opinion' or anything #BUT still.. it's funny to me sometimes #'Succession would be 100x better if it had the same cast/character quirks and shaky camera style and #acting choices/weird dialogue and general concept etc. EXCEPT it takes place within an elven noble family or something #managing the family business and everyone is in fantasy costumes now'' like.....okay...... but it's NOT that way..soo... thats not the show #''I like the acting style/general tone of Fleabag but i don't care for any of the characters or any of the subject matter and I wish it was #set in the 1800s and had vampires and was about magic instead'' okay..... again... you are making up an entirely new show in that case lol #OR my other beloved typical complaint ''The concept is good but theres too much plot and action and not enough people just sitting #around doing nothing and exposition dumping world and character lore'' ''this needs more goofy sideplots and filler episodes'' #''this Drama was too dramatic I think it should be more lighthearted & people need to sit around doing nothing just being weird more often' #''the Action Movie was ok except for the action scenes - which I skipped through all of- but I liked the costumes and worldbuilding'' etc. #ERM sorry your plot has too much plot. also elves have to be included somehow. bye #BUT SERIOUSLY!!!!!! I literally genuinely believe that any show I like (or even dislike) could ALWAYS be improved greatly by #putting people in fantasy or historical costume/setting/etc... why the FUNK would I want to see bland jeans and cars and cell phones #when I could see elaborate velvet cloaks and fantastical landscapes and interior design and innovative takes on historical or #magical technology or etc. etc. etc. I LIVE in the modern day. I see it all the time!!! BORING! stinky!! boo!!! #ANYWAY... another social divide for me.. People love to bond by discussing media. which is hard when I'm like #'I literally will not watch something at all unless it fits into one of these 10 extremely specific categories which are all i care about i #the entire world''.. I say this and yet I still dislike most fantasy or historical things I've watched lol. ok TWO main criteria then!! #it must 1. be in a different world or time period. 2. be goofy silly. Nothing ever has BOTH. It's always overly serious boring drama action #fantasy/history stuff OR it's comedic lighthearted but with modern day characters... WHY.. anguish and woe and so on.. #ANYWAY jhjnk... at least I can make that divide. Some people seem to project their own personal preferences and get really emotionally #defensive if you say you didn't like something - as if the fact that they DO like it is some Objective Truth or something rather than just #opinion/preference based. I can still easily say ''this is well made/well written/acted/good in a technical sense/has a lot of #points of appeal that most people would be drawn to/etc'' and admit that it's a GOOD show probably. I just PERSONALLY think its #bad because my tastes are very narrow. Some things ARE actually made badly but. things are not bad INHERENTLY just bc they dont suit ME lol #Better to recognize/accept whats odd about you and be peacefully aware of it than just being mad at everyone all the time for not fully #agreeing with you even when you're the one with the Weird opinion in that case lol.. I am right though :3 but.. lol... still. i get it

[toastsnaffler]

in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....

#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns- #that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭 #to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space #like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use- #to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol) #to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum- #or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else #other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh #to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn #i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding #and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt #unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world... #its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow #and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while.. #anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation #abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol #and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever #and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress #i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters..... #altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes #like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up #a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl #ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs #im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌 #another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo #.diaries #zzzzz

[emimayooo]

can everyone be my friend. I’m so fucking good at it.

#rave reviews from my friends everywhere always #i’m so sweet and funny and loyal like a dog #no one who has become my friend has ever regretted it I swear to you #I have such a good grade in friendship #I know it’s unmannerly to boast but idgaf you bitches need to know what you’re getting into #that being fifty to sixty kilos of love and affection and unhinged enthusiasm #god I love being a friend god it makes me feel like love incarnate #what is friendship if not the meaning to life and the core of community #god made me aspec because he knew I’d be too intoxicating in a romantic relationship or whatever lol #need to spread the love around to multiple friends instead of one monohoe #it is 1am. I cannot sleep. #too busy thinking about how much I love my friends you understand me #anyway #if you’re my friend #I love you so much #GOODNIGHT! #emi.txt

[airenyah]

sometimes i feel like i missed out on a lot of "italian-ness" bc we stopped going there on a regular basis when i was 9 and i hardly ever saw that side of the family but then i come across a video on youtube titled "southern italians arguing" and it's just a civil (but lively) discussion about a card game the men were in the middle of playing and i'm getting flashes of what it sounds like when my sicilian dad gets real angry and it reminds me of that one time last year when i was working as an intern at a theater (in austria) and one of my tasks was to feed the actors their lines during rehearsals and one time the lead actor came up to me saying "i'm sorry that i'm always so snappy and impatient when i ask for my lines" and i went "this is nothing?? no offense taken"

or this other time, i can't remember if it was at that theater as well or if it was a different context (still in austria) but one time someone got a little loud with me (bc they were irritable and it didn't have anything to do with me or anything that i'd done) and afterwards those who were witnessing the situation were telling me "you do know you don't have to let yourself be treated like that and that you can tell them off, right?" and i was just there like ".......wait i was getting yelled at just now????"

i'm so used to my sicilian dad (and my half-sicilian brother) getting loud at any random minor inconvenience that it for real didn't even register that this person was "yelling" at me for austrian standards, ESPECIALLY since i knew i hadn't done anything wrong and it was all them and their bad mood at the time. and while i did realize that this person wasn't having the best of times in that moment, the fact that they were getting loud at me just simply didn't register. my brain honest to god just went "ah yes this is a completely Normal volume for this level of bad mood, cool cool" and i just kept chilling while everyone around me went "the audacity?? how could they be so rude to you?? are you okay??"

#it was so funny bc everyone was so concerned for me‚ meanwhile the situation hadn't fazed me whatsoever #these are the moments when i realize that i am in fact less austrian than i always think i am #no really you should have seen my dad get into a rage on monday when pedestrians were crossing the street in front of our car #on a pedestrian crossing mind you #basically the situation was that we were on our way to a dinner reservation and it was rush hour #and we were at this Known busy intersection that has a pedestrian crossing for people coming up from the river going into town #that pedestrian crossing doesn't have a stoplight but there is a stoplight for the cars a couple of meters AFTER the pedestrian crossing #bc the street merges into another street and so that stop light is there to let the cars from the other street pass before you get on it #and that car stoplight was red and my dad stopped the car right before the pedestrian crossing so the people waiting there could pass #except they didn't. they just kept standing there while my dad and the car next to us had stopped leaving the pedestrian crossing empty #and only when the stoplight for the cars turned green and my dad went to go on driving did these people decide to cross the street #and my dad got SO angry‚ he was yelling at the pedestrians from the car complete with big italian gesturing #he was all 'i've been standing here leaving room for them the entire time it was red for us cars but the moment it turns green they walk!!' #my mom laughed and made a comment how the pedestrians could tell they were getting yelled at even through the windshield #which had my dad come to his senses and realize how silly he was being #within seconds he went from raging to cracking up about the absurdity of the situation #of him yelling angrily at pedestrians crossing the street on a pedestrian crossing as is their right #so yeah half the time i don't even realize when austrians are getting loud and ''yelling'' at me lol #airenyah plappert #hate to say it but sometimes the stereotypes ARE true lol

[cakesdown]

i have to become the ceo of kimblee because 90% of his subfandom makes me clutch my pearls and scream in fear. literally i only trust my f/ma friends with him. unfortunately im too lazy to put in the work cant i just telepathically project it

#like man i have obscure s/i characters that are pretty fucked up/flawed but kim just has The Worst #like in general a big chunk of the f/ma fandom has shockingly low media literacy while thinking theyre big brain #ACTUALLY let me rephrase that. the vocal majority that i have personally come across. #that sounds so mean but listen i have seen the worst takes on historical theory regarding these characters. #i have seen the most repulsive ship decisions out of any fandom ive ever glanced at. #it's scary over there. it's frightening. #which makes it 10x more funny that i get aggro'd when i do post abt kim #im being normal and quiet in my corner LOL #s/i as in special interest btw. i forgot it has two diff meanings for a sec #sorry i thought about him for more than 5min cause imw riting a fic so i have brainrot for the next 2-4 business days

[cavewolf]

splatoon villians are weird. like they try to wrangle with the idea of 'these bad guys arent all bad' while still, consistently, characterising them as all bad

#like tartar is literally just an ancient ai fulfilling its programmed purpose so it has little automony. #its disappointed in squid civilisation for not being human / smart so wants to destroy it but like . giant evil lazer style #grizz is the last of his kind on the PLANET that he knows of so obviously he's going to get lonley and mad after 100s of years #but he also speaks in business slogans and puns nd shit. but hes kinda tragic if you put a bit of thought into it. if only he knew judd #and obviously octarian society is pretty shit and in constant poverty so you can justify stealing the zapfish to provide power #for your people but it is hard to give credibility to someone who is going to quote dubstomp your face #i know its a kids franchise but its funny to me lol #splatoon 3 spoilers #theres a lot of typos here sorry i cant edit tags -_-

[sluttyfranzkafka]

my most toxic trait is that playing omori is absolutely detrimental to my mental health and yet within the short time that i've gotten this game i've got a total runtime of 28 hours which is fine and normal and i sleep soundly at night by the way

#omori #this game has no business being that stupid funny when it tries to kill me personally two minutes later #I'm like wow this whole thing is a big metaphor for trauma and suppression and chosen isolation and the effects and consequences on the #pysche this is so intricate! and the game responds with 'oh you like that? here's something just for you!' and shows me Hellmari #do NOT show me hellmari do not EVER show me hellmari again get hellmari AWAY from me oh my god. #i only just entered black space and oh god oh shit oh fuck #my second most toxic trait is that whenever a game asks 'look inside the hole?' i HAVE to say yes. and for what. for what. #yes you scared me congratulations. grow up. #my third most toxic trait is that I have to play with headphones on #my fourth most toxic trait is that whenEVER a game asks 'disturb it?' i lose all reasoning and go lol yea! #this game abused my desire to cross a sign that says 'DO NOT GO HERE' #the way this game is like 65% cute and stupid funny but that 35% sure does tap straight into my own personal traumas #games i played #finished all side quests basically before going to dark space because i knew that that would deal like. permanent damage to me personally.

[goldensunset]

I really hope the Brain we saw in Scala was actually him and not Luxu impersonating him because the idea of Luxu having kids in Brain’s body is really creepy 💀

i am at the very least positive the brain we saw in scala at the very end of khux is the real guy. purely based on how he acts and what he says. why would luxu settle down somewhere and try to start a normal life/legacy/family? the man’s got important business to attend to

#but yeah that would be weird lol #like i think the idea of luxu being a deadbeat dad to a million different children over the eons #especially given his name #would be kinda funny #but surely he’s too busy for that #and surely he has more respect for his *ahem* victims than that #asks #thanks anon #kingdom hearts

[gothamcityneedsme]

thinking about how fucking dare she say this to a fellow leader.  lol.

#shitpost #like my character isnt offended really hes like. yeah mandos be weird #an IM not offended by it because im just examining her under a microscope of mandalorian culture lol #but like #as the commander you are constantly choosing between people's lives and death etc forever endlessly #and its like. shae...you are a vital ally and resource. he DOES have a right to choose that when he has the opportunity to #as do YOU if YOU have the opportunity too #you dont just let an important leader of an ally faction die in front of you #it isn't personal. it's professional. its business. you need them to live and you are in a place to do something? #yeah if you don't do something then that is logistically a failure #SORRY SHAE. HE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND OR YOUR ALLY OR EVEN PART OF YOUR CULTURE #hes like. literally not just going to watch you die and do nothing #like hello #also like. this is funny on an imperial agent because youve done FAR worse things its like #ma'am. #if you think me helping you cheat using the weapon that was being used on you and just. swapping it over to your enemy #if you think that's bad. its a good thing i couldn't plan to help you cheat without your knowledge AHEAD of time #because he sure as fuck would have lol #assuming the other side would cheat is a matter of course #really tavon just lacked opportunity here tho #and they DID cheat lmao!!!!! tavon is like. this honor stuff is bullshit #i love this entirely do not think i am hating i am literally loving this so mcuh #but like. lol!!!!!

[toast-tales]

I’d say I’m afraid but that last ask is just too funny not to react to the tags on it. Projecting the real “Gary” onto this “Gary” is just perfect. And I forgot about hoodwicked entirely I need to rewatch that sometimes for nostalgia

In all honesty it was probably just coincidence, although you know, brain makes strange associations and all that. ITWOM Gary is admittedly worse though.

...somewhat.

#toast asks #hoodwinked is one of my favorite terrible movies lol #it has no business being funny while looking like...that #definitely a little dated but still holds up sometimes lmao #itwom #i refuse to give gary his own tag though lol #oc gary

[braindumpformyhead]

Am I just being ridiculous or is my best friend starting to become overwhelmingly annoying and grating to be around? Is this normal?

Life update in tags

#the problem is that they are a very negative and degrading person #lot of un alive jokes #constantly complaining about how lonely they are anytime I mention being happy with my bf #self body shaming #that and they are unnecessarily stubborn and mean in a joking way but it’s not that funny anymore #and our problems are very different cause their in a completely different tax bracket and they don’t understand some of what I go through :/ #oh and they trauma dump on anybody near and like to only ever make jokes about their trauma and I know that’s a normal thing sometimes but #it’s gotten to the point where it’s like every joke and I’m worried about them but I’m tired of hearing them all the time #ugh #I don’t wanna like stop being friends with them cause I feel guilty that they don’t have a lot of good close friends but at the same time #I’m tired of being the one everyone wants to dump their problems on #this creep in my French class also dumps all his problems on me expecting me to help him and I’m on his ex’s side of the breakup so I brush #him off every time #I knew there was a reason for this account #I’d rather bleh dump here then make someone else listen to me #speaking of which #my anxiety is jumping again and I feel like I’ve become too annoying for my bf and the idea of him leaving me because of it is back lol #it’ll go away when we both aren’t as busy and I think we’re hanging out this weekend #I saw him today cause he has a tournament so he’s at the main school #literal hear palpitations just seeing him lol #hhhhh ok that’s enough life update