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#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation
toastsnaffler
·
5 months
Text
in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....
#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns-
#that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭
#to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space
#like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use-
#to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol)
#to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum-
#or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else
#other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh
#to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn
#i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding
#and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt
#unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world...
#its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow
#and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while..
#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation
#abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol
#and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever
#and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress
#i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters.....
#altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes
#like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up
#a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl
#ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs
#im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌
#another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo
#.diaries
#zzzzz
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