#this feels like such a fucking big step right now im terrified
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Sweet Angel 👼
Part one:
Has to re-write this
-🩷
**
The clock was ticking. Her heart was pounding as she sat outside the principals office. She said a small prayer because she knew the trouble she was in. She knew this was going to be a good day.
“Y/n. The principal is ready to see you,” Candice, the school receptionist, called for her. She gulped and looked over at the lady. She was tall and had a mini skirt on. Her blouse was see through but no body complained because quite frankly everyone enjoyed the view. She was a hottie after all.
“Goodluck,” Candice said before Y/n could even step into the office. She needed it in order to stay calm and stay collective.
Her shaky hands opened the wooden doors and the smell of fresh books and coffee filled her nostrils as she took a step inside.
“Y/n, please take a sit,” His voice was loud but not scary loud more like loud for no reason loud. Y/n never liked the way he yelled. It was always hours of a lecture that she didn’t give two shits about because she knew she was going to get into trouble again but get away with it anyway.
“Goodafternoon Mr.Zang,” she smiled politely before taking a sit and looking straight at him. It was almost like she was taunting him, making him look like some type of clown.
“Alright let’s cut the crap young lady. We’ve called your brothers in,” her whole body went cold. Her breathing picked up its pace and her shaking hands were very visible now.
“You called my brothers?” She asked in disbelief, “but sir-“
“I don’t want to hear it Y/n, we’ve been going through a roller coaster with you and I think it’s time I set my foot down,” He was signing a piece of paper. The room was dark and mostly made of wood. It was a typical principal study and that creeped her out even more.
She was scared. She was terrified because if Chan was on his way he was definitely pissed off. She was definitely going to be in big trouble and she was definitely going to get killed. She was on her second strike. She had already been kicked out of a school before this and if she got suspended again in this school that meant she was one step away from getting expelled again. That alone would put Chan and all the boys in a coma.
Fuck.
She let out a sigh. This wasn't good at all. At all.
She looked up at the clock again to calculate how much time she had to live. 20 minutes. She had 20 minutes to live and she would spend it in this sad room. Not how she expected her last moments to be.
Her stomach was churning and suddenly the lunch she had eaten wasn’t such a good idea because of the nauseous feeling that came over her. The nerves were eating her alive and at a point she thought she was dreaming.
Her short prayers were interrupted by the doors opening. Had it been 20 minutes already?!
"I'm so sorry I'm late," She heard Chan's voice fill the room. She looked over at the door and gulped when she saw him come in with leeknow glaring at her. A lump in her throat started to form.
Leeknow was the scariest out of them all. He was the only man that scared the shit out of her (after Chan ofcourse) she just knew if it was the two of them (Chan and leeknow) it wasn’t a good thing because the both of them together was like losing a finger while cooking your favorite meal…does that make sense?
"It's okay Mr.Bahng, welcome. Please have a sit." Mr.Zang said pointing at both empty sits right next to Y/n. She made sure to scoot a bit further so she wouldn’t be at punching reach from Chan. (She was just taking safety precautions)
"So what seems to be the matter? what did she do this time and how much will it cost me?" Chan chuckled and she knew straight away that that chuckle wasn't real. It wasn't real at all.
"Im sorry we have to go through this again but today we caught Y/n- well you'll see by yourself," he pointed the tv remote at the tv that sat on the opposite side of the room. It was cctv footage. Y/n cursed herself for not knowing that this man was keeping cameras on her 24/7. She felt dumb. The video tape played and showed Y/n with a bottle of vodka passing it around with her friends. They were behind school in the alleyway between the gym and main hall.
Shit.
She gulped again and looked at the floor not daring to look at Chan or leeknow. Her throat was dry at this point. She could hear a frustrated sigh and a 'you better start praying' from Chan.
"Now Ofcourse we don't tolerate any of this behavior," Mr.Zang turned off the tv and sat back in his chair.
"I understand that sir," Chan replied,
"We will have to put her on suspension for 3 days but I do have a question," he looked back and forth between Leeknow and Chan with a worried look on his face.
"Yes Mr.Zang, what is it?" Leeknow asked.
"Who is at home with Y/n? Is it just you guys?" He questioned the boys while adjusting his glasses.
"No sir, she has a nanny that takes care of her sir. It's me and my other brothers that are in charge of her sir,"
"And what about parents?..." he trailed off. Her heart slightly jumped at the thought of her mum and dad. All she could feel was numbness everytime they had to talk about them.
"We don't have any of that sir, her mum and dad died a while back so I was given custody over her sir," Chan replied politely. He too didn’t like to talk about the death of her parents. It ruined his whole mood because he knew it was a soft spot for his little sister.
“Oh I see because Y/n has been acting out lately and with the grades and her attitude she might not make it past 12th grade,"
She glanced over at Chan who was massaging his temples and trying to stay cool while leeknow sat with his hands crossed and his eyebrows furrowed.
"I understand that sir, I'll make sure she gets on her game,"
"Alright I think that's it, young lady I hope you take this time to reflect on your behavior," he pointed at her. God! She hated Mr.Zang. His pin black hair and beady eyes always creeped her out. Even his golden tooth that always seemed to be glowing no matter what. Ugh.
"Trust me she will be reflecting a lot," leeknow said before shaking Mr.Zang’s hand.
They handed them the peace of document for her suspension so they could sign it and once they had finished she got out of her chair and grabbed her bag from the floor and started following behind her two older brothers. They both were talking to eachother whispering back and forth as she walk quietly behind them. The school corridors were quiet and she was glad because if word got out that 2/8 of straykids were in school, that would be hell for her.
The car was parked outside with the driver in the front seat and when they got into the car and all the doors closed Chan started yelling. Yelling really loud. Her body was trembling at this point.
"What the fuck Y/n?!" He started off. she kept quiet and looked at the ground not daring to look him in the eye. "Oh! So now she can't talk huh?! Now she can't talk!"
"This is so disappointing! Yah! Do you know how embarrassing this is?! Getting called out of rehearsal?!" Leeknow added on.
"I can't even look at you right now! You're so stupid! Why can't you think before you act huh?! Why can't you do things without getting into trouble?!" Chan yelled while bawling up his hands in a fist.
"I'm sorry-" she softly said but she was interrupted by his sharp laugh,
"She's sorry! She's sorry she says! You know what I'm sorry for?! You're grounded for life. Locked up in that house for internal life!" Chan scoffed, "No tv, No phone, No tablet, No computer..oh and you know what else? No more free tickets for your friends! You will stay in that house until I see straight A's again understood?!"
“Yes Chan," She nodded her head,
“Also I’m taking you out of the trainee program. Your not debuting anymore-“
“Chan, please don’t. Please Chan that’s the only thing I have-“ tears started to build up in her eyes. Her heart was shattered. Chan knew how important that was for her. He knew how much she was looking forward to being in a girl group.
“I don’t want to hear it. This conversation is over,”
His face was red and he looked scary but she couldn't help it. Why would he do that? He knew that was my most valuable thing going on in her life.
“Chan I’ll-“
"I don't care! I don't fucking care right now! Just stay quiet and don't even talk to me, don't look at me if you can please don't even breathe the same air as me,"
She looked at him with so much hurt but obeyed his wishes. Her heart was heavy but she couldn't blame him. She deserved it.
She kept quiet and continued to look at the floor as they arrived home. Leeknow was trying to calm Chan down as she got out the car and walked into the house. Tears fell from her eyes at a constant speed.
"Hey, what's the matter?" Han asked, he was sat in the living room with one of his friends but he still chose to leave them and come up to her.
"Y/n? You reek of alchohol, where have you been?" He pulled her into a hug. Concern was written all over his face.
“Don’t touch me,” she tried to remove herself from his grip but it was too tight,
“Talk to me please,” he begged.
"I thought I said I don't want to see your face!" Chan's voice boomed in the room. She got out of Han's grip and quickly run up the stairs sobbing.
"Wait- what happened?" Han asked Chan who was now huffing and puffing.
"She's on Suspension,"
"Again?" Han asked confused, "what did she do this time?"
"Bottles of alcohol in her bag," leeknow explained while rubbing his eyes, tired as usual.
"Where does she even get that?"
"I don't know but I'm starting to get worried about her. I think this is her last strike. What are we gonna do?" Leeknow shook his head.
Chan was fed up and it was so clear, "I don't know but right now I don't want to deal with her crap."
"Chan don't say that, you don't mean it," Han said frowning.
"No I do! Han she has been causing hell! I don't know what to do anymore! I might just have to ship her off to boarding school! I can't be dealing with work stress and her stress! I've tried everything, literally everything but she won't change," he snapped at Han.
“Dont yell at me, I don’t mean any harm,” Han frowned feeling abit attacked, “Chan just give her time, she's just a teenager and she just lost her parents,"
"Who's just a teenager?" Felix asked entering the room from the kitchen.
"Felix back me up here, Chan wants to send Y/nnie to boarding-"
"What?! Why? You can't do that Chan?!"
"I didn't say I would and she got suspended Lix, " he run his fingers through his hair before he started to pace back and forth
"Maybe we can put her in classes? To distract her from being bad?" Han suggested.
"Yeah that's a good idea! That way we can monitor her there too. We can even pick her up after practice," Felix agreed
"We'll see but for now she's grounded for life."
#skz imagines#skz comfort#skz x reader#skz angst#skz drabbles#skz fluff#skz stay#skz x y/n#skz x you#stray kids drabbles
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Champagne problems | Dawson Mercer x Fem Reader
Summary: Dawson and Harper(you) get in a heated argument, but you have a past in being left alone. Dawson makes it up to by dancing in the kitchen at night, and it ends up leading to something else.
Warnings: makeup s*x, unprotected, crying, language, not proof read
PLS NOTE: I don’t think Dawson Mercer would ever LIKE EVER make someone feel this way (and idk why he would get angry abt this but he did so yuhh)
I got kinda lazy towards the end- sorry in advance🫶
You book the night train for a reason
“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME HARPER!” Dawson yells out from our room. I hear his Newfie accent pop out. I think it’s so cute. Then. I hear pound stomps from upstairs in our home. He comes running down the stairs. He turns to face me as he scurries over at me.
Dawson throws my phone that was once in my hand and now is on the other side of the white couch, which I was comfortable sitting on. He never screams at me. I’m scared.
I’m scared.
I run for our dog, Mila. I grab our black lab and pick her up. Mila holds onto me as I run up the stairs with her. I don’t care about my phone, I need to lock myself away. I don’t even know what I did. But I’m is I’m terrified.
I dropped your hand while dancing
I run into the bathroom without a word said. I hear soft foot steps walking towards the bathroom. It’s not just a bathroom, it’s the place where we would take baths together, or when I get to drunk and he would hold my hair back when I throw up, or when he would get sick and I would shower with him.
This isn’t a home, not right now atelast. It’s a madhouse.
I’m not ready. It’s been a strong 2 years together, we have never been through a big fight where I felt I was threatened. I’m so scared I hold on to Mila, I feel like I’m going to throw up.
“please, Harper, open up. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that. But I’m upset, you pulled out like $200 out if the shared account.” Dawson has a good point to be mad at me. But he has to understand that it’s for bills. I just bought the house, it’s under my name.
“I’m sorry.” I say, and there I go. A tear is shed. Not only one, but it turns into many. I’m now bawling my eyes out. He bangs on the door. I know he’ll get mad if I don’t open the door, but I’m not ready to see him, because I truly feel guilty, but I cannot pay for the bills and in general everything on my own.
“I’m not mad anymore, I’m going to be upset if you don’t open the door baby. Are you hungry?” Dawson says in absolute despair.
My stomach dropped about 12 minutes ago, and I still can’t seem to grab it and put it back in place, my heart is doing somersaults- in a terrible way, not in a lovestruck way, more of a numbing pain. My head is pounding. I hear birds chriping through the bathroom window. I unlock the door taht im sitting against. I let Mila walk out, and I grab air. Then I walk into our bedroom. I open windows.
Love slipped beyond your reaches
And I couldn’t give a reason
Champagne problems.
I change into Dawson’s boxers, they have SpongeBob patterns on them, I picked it out. I throw on my sleep shirt. I tie my hair into a messy high bun, I let my neck hit the cold outside breeze. It’s offseason, Dawson and I are getting ready to travel back to his family’s home in a week. Right now, I’m not sure if I wnat to go.
I hear sizzling from the kitchen downstairs. And the smell of cheese, and toast. Is it Grilled cheese?
“BUBBA?!” Dawson yells out for me.
He walks up the steps with a green plate, and he steps into our room, he sees me against our bedroom wall that faces the entrance of the room. The window is above me, he come towards me. Grabs the grilled cheese and splits it.
“Did you know you look gorgeous.” Dawson says, not in a question format, but more of a statement. He opens my mouth and wipes the tear that had fell from my eye. He sticks the grilled cheese into my mouth and he looks at me, and smiles. I see his toothless corny smile. I love him.
“Come here. Baby I didn’t mean to get at you like that.” He says as he grips onto his blue t-shirt and wipes my mascara away.
“it’s my fault.” I say. I don’t want him to leave me.
We finish eating as he explains how it’s okay to take out money,but he should be able to pay, not that I should sneak the payment. He grabs my hand and he takes the plate that he placed the delicious grilled cheese on and placed it into the clean sink. He turns me around and he’s sits me on the cold counter.
“You look sexy.” He says and again, I hear his newfie accent pop out. I’m head over heels for him.
“In SpongeBob boxers?” I say sarcastically and I laugh away my sadness.
“Yes. Anything that you’re in, makes you extra sexy. And..” he says as he trails off as he nibbles at my neck. He kissed my index finger and trailed up to my left ear. I can feel his stubble.
He pushed up against me, and he kissed me. He then picked me up from the counter and twirled me down to the floor. And he continued to French kiss me. He tugs at my waist as he he tucks his head onto my neck. He’s 6”0 body leans into my 5”2 figure.
“I love you.” He whispers into my ear as he sucks into me, I’m sure there is a big bruise awaiting to be seen by his fellow teammates at holding tomorrow. Dawson is missing a tooth, but he’s still really good at giving hickeys. He starts to sway. Ironically, he starts to humthe words of champagne problems. He’s such a girl dad- not yet.
We dance in the kitchen for like an hour as we just talk. The beautiful daylight blue sky turned into a black sky lit by stars. He grabs me and sits me down on the couch that we met at earlier today.
Mila has her own bed in our bedroom, but for today she sat in her own room that she has in the main level right next to the kitchen. Dawson locks Mila in her bedroom and he sets her asleep with her night time water. He grabs me and carry’s me up the stairs. It’s like we are re-living our day.
He pushed me down the bed. He has one hand on my mid torso. And he slides his hand up, up toward my cleavage. He takes a hold of his SpongeBob boxers and slides them off. He smoothly takes my shirt off. He apply little pressure on my shoulders, an my bra is off my chest. He looks at my breast like it’s the first pair he’s ever seen. His face lits up in an eager smile. And once again I see his toothless expression. He takes my nipple into his fingers and twist them.
My breast is really tender from crying earlier today so I let out a little wince. Dawson looks down at me ready to study every little mark I have on me. He takes his shirt off. In a swft motion his shorts are also off. I see his face black boxers, but it’s accompanied by a large tent in the middle of his legs. He’s getting off by me in pain. Wierd kink.
“Daws.” I say, I’m letting him know I’m ready to take him. Dawson holds my hands up above my head and he opens his boxers, I can’t stop thinking off how that’s where he opens his pants to pee, but I take him in my mouth and he’s steady leaking everywhere.
I lick the tip of him and he screams in excitement.
He’s so easy.
He lets out a sigh as he finished inside my mouth, not letting me do any work.
“Okay pillow princess, show me how it’s done.” Dawson says as he flips me on top of him and we roll over to the other side of the bed. He lays down and he pulls off his boxers. He’s bare, I’m bare. I touch myself as I stand on top of him. I look down at him as I decide to squat down. I look at his face, he’s ready to be please, but I just took him inside of my mouth. I swalllow, but I forget… can he?
So I take his jaw in my hand and I tell him to open his mouth, he does so. He is expecting a kiss. But for me, I wnat to make him cum first. So I straddle his face, and I take his hard friend, into my mouth, once again.
Im laying on top off him, he has my clit on his mouth, and I have his dick into my throat. He’s tasty, very salty. He locks me out, and I feel like I need to piss everywhere. So I focus on my job. I need to make him cum. He goes faster on his tounge, he lifts his hips up to my face, he’s about to fall out of his momentum. He thrusts into my throat. And again, and again, he thrusts. He lets out a groan, and he starts to stick his large fingers into my hole. He sucks and fingers at my bottom half.
He’s going to play dirty, so am I. So I grab his large balls and start to rub. He starts to slap my ass, and he runs up and down my waist line. I grab his leg, and he thrusts into my mouth again, he lets out an exasperated groan, he drops his bridge down, and he slides me over.
He arrived, and I haven’t. Maybe I am better.
“No, I know what you’re thinking, you aren’t better than I am.” Dawson says as he walks over to grab a condom.
“No, I like it raw.” I say as I get up from feeling like peeing.
“Easier on me then.” Dawson says as he lifts me up and I wrap around his figure. My boobs are pressed up against his abs, my nipples are sticking straight into him. He lays me down gently as he sticks a finger inside of me. He licks his finger clean.
“You’re still pretty wet for me.” He says, “but I haven’t cummed yet.” I said, impatiently.
I push his anatomy onto me. His cock is pushed up against his abdomen. He kisses me and he did infancy swallow.
He leans back up from our special kiss, and he licks his hand, and pump onto his cock once. He grasps onto my thigh, he spreads my legs apart.
“DAWSON!” I scream out in enjoyment. I’m exhilarated. His shaft ponds into my hips. My pelvis is now perked up into his hands. I need more, but I cannot fit much more. He has so many inches inside of me,I feel like I might puncture ny uterus.
“He shushed me and started to bounce. He thrusted about 4 times before I begged him to stop. And I cimmed right there. He grabbed a tissue that sat on our nightstands, specifically for this reason.
“Okay baby. You wanna shower, or do you want to wait until tomorrow morning?” Dawson says and he always knows the answer. He made sure I wa clean and the bed sheets weren’t wet and sticky for our semen.
He wraps his legs around me, I’m little spoon, and he’s big spoon. We are skin to skin. And I feel safe in his arms as he kissed me goodnight. And I feel ready to see his family on our trip next week. And I’m glad that his friends will see my “burn mark” I got. Which we all know that Dawson took his kisses to strong and he bit and sucked on my neck to leave territory marks.
#hockey#jocelynscrazyideas#nhl#dawson mercer#hockey fics#njd#nj devils#new jersey devils#nhl players#nhl fic#smut
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Some of the things I really like in writing!
My favoritest things ever in the whole wide world (writing)
When an extremely traumatized character has all of their trauma regularly overlooked and is constantly told “someone else had it worse” and they don’t argue or nothing and just take it
When that some traumatized character snaps and does something big, and it feels like it scars the world itself from how intensely they showed the hurt others have caused them in such a visceral, or physical, way (example; someone setting like. A big, big thing on fire.)
When the people who traumatized the character feel, viscerally feel the hurt tenfold. They are forced to see the purest, ugliest reality that they created. The festering wounds that they refused to treat. They see the torment and torture and they are terrified.
Characters letting out the most guttural scream of pure anguish and rage, trying to hurt the person who hears. The one person who hears lets them. They let them take out their anger and rage because it would destroy them from the inside out if they didn’t. (subject to edits)
Adding onto before. When a character gets so fucking pissed you can like. See heat lines coming off of them. They are so full of rage that the ground quakes where they step. They can and will kill, and you’d be worse off if you got in the way. (subject to edits)
Tragedies. Any kind of tragedy.
When a young character is raised to be a hero, essentially brainwashed into believing they have to be the hero no matter what and get a hero complex. The same people who put them on this pedestal then tear them down and berate them while still bringing them higher. Like Jenga, you keep making the tower of glory and heroism better while simultaneously tormenting the prime spectacle, taking parts of their life and ruining things just to make the pillar higher. They break a child just to prove they can make a hero. And when the tower falls the hero turns into the villain in the eyes of all. The hero suffers for a fate out of their control. The hero suffers for things that were never their fault in the first place.
The hero is a child. A child that never grew up yet never had a childhood in the first place. And they are tormented and berated and blamed and tortured for the life they did not ask for. And the worst part is, there’s one person there to tell them that no; this isn’t rightful punishment. There’s only one there to tell them that they aren’t the pinnacle of evil for existing. One person… far too busy with their own matters to offer this reassurance to the hero. Their hero, their child that they love so dearly. Their only option is to watch their [son] suffer at the hands of those they call allies, or sometimes even friends.
When a character coming from nothing, perhaps poverty, leaves their 1(one) family or friend (WITH)!! Closure to go on a grand adventure. All contact is cut, (loved one) fears they may never see (character again), until they show up on the news. They see their beloved (character) injured, traumatized, probably on the news for murder, but all they can feel is relief.
Once they are able to reunite, (loved one) is met with a traumatized, marred and maimed version of their love, but they’re happy, they’re so much happier and they’re so much stronger and they’ve learned so much. When their paths part again, (loved one) isn’t worried anymore, their (character) can handle themselves now, they’ve all grown up. And (loved one) is so goddamn proud of (character)
The fucking. Theseus symbolism minus half the things that make Theseus Theseus. The hero gets killed for preforming a heroic duty. They are left to die alone and filthy and disgraced and they are not remembered. IM FROTHING TAT THE MOUTH
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ummm please say more about the wilbur/john/xander fic right now <3 theyre my favourite guys ever and we need so much more content for them (i say as I write yet another fic not about them)
YIPPEEE YEAHHHHH LETS GOO!!!!! ok this got LONG so its all under the cut. uhm. i hope this tickles your fancy :3
i have SOOOO many thoughts abt these three tbh,,,, i had a thought last night of what it would be like if john and wilbur were engaged when wilbur. uhm. "died". but like 20 years later john's found xander and to hell with it if he can love them both. one is dead, itll be fine
except, wilburs not actually dead. he falls out of a portal and hes normal again and holy shit what does john do now. like thats still technically his fiance (and first love but shh) but his husband is Right The Fuck There
but it wnds up pretty okay. john makes sure wilbur really is okay and normal (hes as normal as he can be after being in the black for that long) and introduces them and it goes great
wilbur backs off of his own accord even though it absolutely destroys him to do so and gives both john and xander (mostly john) the shovel talk ("i swear to god- and ive met god- if you hurt him ill be one to get your ass and send it to hell" type shit)
but. where is this legally dead man going to live. aside from john, there arent many people who jnow him still alive (and ghats not to count the amount still working with peip) (there are two still working with peip. john and colonel schaffer)
so wilbur camps out on john and xanders couch until they figure out what to do from there
but wilbur is Old and Weak and hes honestly provably pretty close to (if not) disabled from the sheer amount his body has gone through and the couch is definitely making it worse. and xander being trained in medicine (though not practicing) steps in and is like "ok i know its going to be weird as hell but you have GOT to get in a bed. ours or not i dont give a shit" but they dont haev the space for another bed and honestly wilbur's been struggling to sleep alone anyway
so they end up dragging his ass into their bed and its like. the best sleep of his life. and he wakes up in the fetal position (normal) between john and xander (not where he fell asleep) and theyre both kind of holding onto him (what the fuck ?)
and he freaks a bit. bc thats his ex (?) fiance and his new husband. he cannot get between them like this are you kidding??
so he goes and sits on the couch but its really cold and he hates it (flashback sequence??) but he forces himself to not care and like. puts a show on or smth until xander wakes up and comes out like "why did you leave i was comfortable" and hes like "im already intruding a lot i felt bed" and xanders like "youre literally not but ok. do you like pancakes" and thats that (the answer is yes, blueberry ones)
and like a month later finally wilbur is cleared to get to work on mapping and explaining the black and white, and the lords in black, so he throws himself into that. 9/10 times he falls asleep at his desk or on the couch again and john and xander are both a little sad but theyte quiet abt theyre big boys theyre handling this great (<- lying)
and xander snaps after like. three weeks of wilbur destroying himself for the sake of explaining the shit he'd seen and he goes and demands that wilbur comes to bed one night and it goes a little something like this
"wil, come to bed"
"i have work to do"
"i dont give a shit, im shutting your laptop in ten seconds"
"no, i have shit to do. go cuddle with your husband" (< said bitterly)
"why are you being a bitch about this. we miss you" (< terrified this is wilbur shutting him down rn, but totally genuine)
"wtfdym you miss me. your husband is in there. you realize im your husbands ex right." (< getting increasingly upset)
"yeah. i mean. it doesnt really feel like you are ahymore, but if you want to call it that sure. but we miss you." (< catching on slowly. not fast enough)
"what" (< officially confused)
"have you not. noticed how much we're both kind of totally in love with you. really" (< losing his fuckingn mind)
"xander what the fuck are you talking about. what" (< also losing his fucking mind)
and then its a monologue about how john never stopped loving him and xander knew that if wilbur ever came back john would probably (definitely) go back to him in SOME capacity and he never minded. and then that happened and xander found himself doting on both of them and kind of maybe definitely falling really in love with wilbur and he can say not but. you get the point
by this point john is also here standing in the doorway (exhausted) (his fingers are crossed) and wilburs just stunned into silence for a while
and then he shuts his laptop and stands up and takes xanders (outstretched) hand and lets them take him to bed in silence and its. its his way of saying yes okay? its his way of telling them that he gets it, that he's done the same and that he loves them too
and they fall asleep together with wilbur in the middle. and its perfect
#this got so out of hand#whoops#wilbur/john/xander#raspberry writes#hatchetfield#alice answers asks !!#not even sure when i fleshed it out this much#last noght it was. 'lol what if they fell in love post b&w'
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At The Mercy of Pain
Kas!Eddie Munson/Fem!Reader
Chapter 1 — Where Hell Met Home
Series Summary — A return from death, a victory turned sour. The man you loved turned against you, destroying you in ways unmatched and indescribable. Now? Now he is free, but there are too many broken pieces.
Do Not have late night conversations with friends that love angst as much as you do. You will create horrible little monsters with them.
This is going to be an out-of-order series recounting the tales of Eddie and the Reader recovering from trauma, falling back in love, and learning to hope and be happy again.
I dedicate this fic to my bb @basichextechml who is not only incredibly based and chadpilled but also shamelessly feeds into my angst addiction and helped beta this for me 😭
P.S. There was a request for Eddie to be wearing a frog headband but unfortunately the costume department didn't have enough budget for it.
Series Tags — DARK!FIC, dd;dne, graphic depictions of violence, gore, trauma, abuse, PTSD, nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety and depression, suicidal ideation, depictions of disability, fluff, smut, hurt/comfort, whump, recovery fic, hospitals, forced cannibalism
Chapter Word Count — 3.1k
Chapter Tags — Graphic depictions of violence, gore, whump, there's literally no build up it's just going apeshit from the start, i'd say im sorry but i'm not
Tink. Tink tink.
It’s the first thing that greets Eddie’s ringing ears. It’s the sound of the bathroom lights.
What..?
Everything is… distant. Hazy. His senses come back to him piece by piece, feeling like he’s had something slipped into his drink- he has to remind himself to breathe. In, hold, out, hold, in, hold, out. The smell of something metallic is getting stronger, and he peels his eyes like grit away from the mildewy ceiling to investigate.
Red- so much red.
He shoots up and his head screams in protest, but he ignores it in favor of the way his heart is thundering so hard it makes him dizzy. Why is there blood? What happened? Why can’t he remember—?
The kitchen.
Singing, laughing, “Eddie, stop it! You’re gonna eat ‘em all before I can even finish!”
You’re smiling, corners of your eyes crinkling, he’s smiling back, his heart is so light-
The memory stops, abrupt, black. What happened?
He manages to stumble onto his feet and groans, his arm has gone numb since he last was awake, probably from the way he’d slept on it. The door swings open with a whine, and he’s introduced to absolute chaos.
He can see broken furniture and glass across the ground before he even steps out from the bathroom, the delicate crunch like gunfire in the ghostly silent trailer. But it’s not completely silent, he can make out desperate, shaking breaths. These ragged intakes like there wasn’t enough oxygen in the atmosphere.
He turns around the corner, and he’s nearly startled off his feet by a wail.
Yours.
It scares him so fucking bad he practically runs into the wall behind him, adrenaline dialed to 11 and feeling like- for a split second- Chrissy was happening all over again.
His eyes rove wildly until they land on you, you’re in the kitchen, down on the floor and backed into the corner and the moment your frightened eyes set upon him you’re trying to force yourself as tightly as possible into the cabinets, like you could push yourself straight through the wood and walls and end up outside. As far from him as possible.
Clenched brutally tightly within your hand is a knife, a large chef’s knife you’d been using to cut up- he can’t remember, and frankly, it doesn’t fucking matter right now. The thing is bloody, you’re bloody. And you’re sobbing and look fucking terrified of him, eyes all big and pupils tiny, you’re holding it out at him, grip so tight the knuckles have turned icy, shaking so hard it’s practically useless.
His hands have come up placatingly, mouth dropped open and heart thumping aggressively, his own breathing becomes deeper, harder.
“Baby… Baby-girl… What happened, sweetheart- what’s wrong-” He’s looking around the place, looking for the threat, looking for what did this to you- and you respond with a moan so guttural, so harrowing that it feels like a kick to Eddie’s teeth. It rips the breath out of him with icy hooks.
“Please stop please stop- please please…” You’re whispering to yourself, he can hear your skin against the acrylic handle as you squeeze it even tighter. “Just- Just- stay over there- stay-!”
Your voice is shaking as it rises, you’re so scared and Eddie can feel tears flood his eyes. What happened? I don’t understand.
“Baby-” One step forward.
You shriek and he flattens against the wall, eyes blown out wide like saucers, his fingers splay out wider, pleading. “Stay! Stay over there! Don’t- don’t fucking come any closer!”
“Okay, okay! O-okay! I’ll stay here..! I’m not gonna hurt you..!” His own voice has risen a few octaves, everything is ringing and the world is beginning to swim- he might be having a panic attack.
“Just- please baby- what the fuck is happening? You’re- you’re- you’re kinda scaring the fucking piss out of me right now.” The end of that sentence is hissed, and his fingers clench into tight fists. He wants to get on his knees and beg.
You’re not just afraid of him, you’re positively sobbing, face contorted with agony. The first hot tears start burning down his face and he finds himself asking a question that makes him want to vomit.
What did I do?
“You- you- stop lying! Stop- stop talking with his voice- stop it stop it-!” You clamp your free hand over your ear, trying to block out as much of Eddie as possible, but you won’t blink and you won’t look away.
He goes mute, because everything about him is causing you such distress, but the tears are starting to come down harder because he’s- he’s scared and he’s frustrated and he’s hurting for you. He wants to fix this, make it stop, but how can he do that when he doesn’t even know what this is?
So… he decides to try and puzzle it out.
“Okay… okay… we- we were cooking? We were in the kitchen..? Right? Right. I- I was eating- something- you were getting onto me about it because I was gonna spoil dinner like always…” His head shakes, eyes darting around like he was reading an invisible ledger, something phantom thing that’s recorded his every move for him.
You let out a shaky exhale, watching the way he clamors for an answer, and in the fog of terror and pain- your neck your neck your neck- your grip on the blade lessens. “…Eddie..?”
He lets out a hard exhale through his nose, wet and unpleasant but he pays it no mind. “Baby.” He pleads.
The blade drops from your hand.
There’s a moment of numb silence, just staring, and then you fully break into hysterics, balling up to sob so hard your shoulders flex and bow with your animalistic breaths.
He takes one step, then another. You’re not reacting, so he slips into the kitchen and kneels in front of you, gently grabbing you to pull you into his arms. You’re limp, you don’t fight, and he cradles you and rocks you while you wail into his shirt.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… What can I do? How can I help?”
You shake your head weakly as you try to choke down your emotions, pulling away to look at him- and that’s when he sees it. Your neck.
It’s a handprint, and it’s clearly his, and it’s dark. His grip so strong it left a near perfect mark right around your delicate throat.
“Oh… oh my God… Sweetheart- did I-?”
You tear up again, nodding, and you’re starting to speak but…
But…
The world turns to an oil slick, that rainbow film that covers everything, the world is melting- drifting- you’re looking at him, and the fear is coming back to you. You slip out from his hands and he reaches for you- but it’s not comforting, nor is it pleading- he can feel malice in his body as he tries to grab you, watching you slip away.
There’s an errant thought that isn’t his; her bones will sound so musical when they break.
Why- why would he want- what—
For Eddie, this is the merciful end of the memory.
For you? The nightmare is just beginning.
You’re trying to break for the bedroom when he stands with mechanical fluidity, turning at the waist to follow you with a blank face and hollow eyes, his stride is unnatural, predatory, somehow he manages to make an absolute void seem eager, anticipatory.
You’re almost to the door when something explodes next to your head- belatedly, you recognize it as a wooden chair reduced to splinters- and it sends you to the floor hard enough to knock your nose against the ground, it hurts, but Eddie’s hand grabs your ankle with the force of a hydraulic press and all notion of pain goes out the window in favor of survival instinct.
Your hands grip wildly for anything- anything you could use, anything that might- might level the playing field, because there was no getting an edge against him. You could hear his grip splinter the wood of the bathroom doorframe to your left. Your hand finds purchase on something; a framed picture of you, Wayne, and Eddie. With a desperate exhale you smash it into his head. The glass cuts up his face, and you suspect it’s more that he’s surprised than actually affected when he drops your throbbing leg.
You scramble like a frightened animal the rest of the way down the hall into your shared bedroom, slamming the door and throwing everything you’re strong enough to shove in front of it. Chairs and nightstands (your fingernails leave crescents in the cheap laminate) and even the mattress. It’s deafeningly silent when you turn your back to the door, picking up the receiver and frantically slamming the keys to the only number that comes to your mind.
“Pick up pick up pick up please please—!” It only rings twice, and then Steve’s tired voice crackles through on the other end.
“Hey..?” He doesn’t get further than that.
“Please please please,” You sob, voice catching on the last word, sounding on the verge of retching from sheer distress. “Steve please-” you’re hysterical, words coming out screechy and desperate, spit and snot spewing down your face with abandon.
There’s an earth-shattering sound in the background, and the line stays up long enough for Steve to hear you scream Eddie’s name.
Everything is ringing, a siren in the distant fog of his mind, and Eddie’s skull feels like it’s been clamped into a vice as he wades through his consciousness and toward that beckoning sound. The noises bloom like a flower, slowly punching through the pervasive whine that cradles him, it turns from a nonsensical rumbling to something he vaguely recognizes as speech. The throbbing he felt through his body clarifies itself to be the thunderous drum of footsteps. Voices… his mind catches on that. So many voices… why?
“What do we do!? Steve-!?” Robin?
“Fuck- we’ve- we’ve gotta get her to the hospital!” Steve.
“What about him!?”
“He’ll be fine! Leave him here- she’s going to die.” Nancy..?
His eyes feel like they’ve been anchored to his cheekbones when they open, the world slowly coming to clarity and light.
He wishes it wouldn’t.
The first thing that touches his vision is the sight of the entire trailer wrecked, there are holes and scratches in the walls, and dust and detritus comes off the ceiling, leaving dusty white smatterings across the… wet floor? It’s smeary and crimson and his heart lurches into his throat, rattling desperately with the search to remember. The hats and mugs that usually line the shelves and nails now decorate the ground like snow, some reduced to threads and shards. Beyond the frantic talking he can hear some disgusting bubbling noise, rhythmic and mucousy in a way that makes him queasy.
Everything is undercut by this feathering, stinging pain all across his back and arms- and particularly across his face. It feels as if he’s somehow acquired thousands of papercuts, and when he looks down at himself, his hands, it almost seems like that’s exactly what’s happened. But no, he recognizes marks like those- they’re from fingernails. His own nails fare no better, something trapped sticky and unpleasant in clumps beneath each of the chewed points.
(Later, in the bathroom, he’d come to recognize it as your skin.)
Brown eyes rove wildly, and then slam into a wall. You.
You’re on the couch, you’re in Robin’s arms- but not in the sweet friendly way of the past- head in her lap, laughing and smiling up at her as she rants about Steve’s latest antics and ‘how can boys be so- stupid?’ and you look at him, soft and loving as you say ‘I don’t know.’
No, she’s cradling you with tears down her face, redness so deep and blotchy she looks sunburnt by grief and horror.
Oh my God.
Robin is rocking you, whispering gentle assurances that she’s not sure you can actually hear, your head turned awkwardly to the side where your eyes burn straight through his soul.
One of your eyes (crinkled at the corners, so pretty in the early morning light. “G’mornin’ sleepyhead.”) is no longer entirely within it’s socket, the delicate vessels burst and flooding crimson to the point he can no longer discern where your pupil and iris begin or end. It’s sticking out grotesquely far from your face, which has swollen massively and taken on any number of frightening colors; black, green, blue and purple.
Your skull- it’s- it’s- it’s wrong. Dented and misshapen in a trail that connects your very broken eye socket (he can see the knots where parts of your bone are scraping against the inside of the wounded skin) to the now slightly concave side of your head, blood spewing from the bludgeoned wounds, a viscous river down your face, framing your eye and dripping off your smashed nose. Your gaze is glassy and wet, tears spilt loosely from a vacant expression.
There’s a massive gash in your face, it runs from the outer edge of your destroyed eye all the way down to the corner of your mouth in some vicious, deep crescent shape. The cut is so deep and wide that he can make out the muscle underneath, and it’s completely bisected your upper lip, your reddened and chipped teeth showing through where the skin and flesh doesn’t meet anymore.
Your neck is just black. Vaguely, Eddie remembers something about a handprint.
Your limbs are ruined. A horrible mimicry- no- an escalation of Chrissy. Your arms and legs are broken in multiple places, the skin of your forearms is bubbling and covered in pus and discolored, and Eddie can vaguely remember that you were boiling something earlier. Your right hand and all five fingers have been completely crushed, not one of them pointing in the same direction and your feet are angled unnaturally, the legs having been wrenched from their sockets and twisted around in all manner of ways before the bones finally shattered like rotten wood. He can see it, the break in one of your calves has completely stabbed through, horribly white and jagged and weeping blood, skin and chunks of flesh are caught on the splinters. From beneath your thin flowy shirt, he can see something else protruding awkwardly- it doesn’t take a genius to piece together that it’s your broken rib piercing straight out of you.
And as Robin gently sets you on the ground, drool, blood and teeth spew out from your crooked mouth.
Suddenly, Eddie understands that awful noise that punctuates the air.
It’s you. Trying to breathe.
Wheeze, gurgle. Wheeze, gurgle. Wheeze, gurgle.
You sound like you’re choking, drowning in your own fluids. Your eyes are still wide open as your head rests against the wood, staring emptily. That awful noise maintains, unrelenting.
Eddie twists in his chair and vomits all across the floor.
It’s pure stomach acid, but enclosed within the burning liquid are long, stringy tendrils. They’re writhing around, thrashing like dying flatworms, before stilling and beginning to dissolve away.
Eddie knows he should be concerned, should focus on that, but his eyes are back on you again, tears spilling wildly down his face.
Nancy and Steve have come to surround you with Robin, and he watches with heavy, tingling eyes as they begin to peel back your clothes. They’re already bloodied, but now he can see they’re in tatters, torn like an animal had gotten to you. As the garments are discarded, more of you is revealed to him, and Eddie is unable to process how he feels any longer.
Massive lacerations up your body, scratches so deep they’re bleeding- purple black blue purple black- Eddie can’t find a single patch of skin that isn’t bruised, that remains your same healthy natural color. He can see- chunks missing from your body. Not just the breaks, no, but actual entire parts of your fat and flesh have been torn free. Some bitten off.
There are boot prints across your belly and stomach, against your ribs. Nearly perfect welts. You could identify the exact pair of shoes he was wearing using them.
Almost worse than the damage is the way you move, or rather, aren’t moving. The way you’re laid out can’t be comfortable, your back and neck are contorted in ways he’s never seen a human rest before, and your mouth- your jaw-
You look like a fish out of water, gaping over and over and over again, twitching but the appendage isn’t moving right, because your jaw is broken just like the rest of you, crooked and he can see your gums where the rest of your teeth used to be, the bloody holes reflecting like ruby in the dim trailer light.
Your breaths are hiccupping, tiny, and Eddie can’t- he can’t-
“She’s- she’s choking- you’ve gotta- you-”
“I think you’ve done enough, Eddie.” Comes Nancy’s voice, scathing and glacial cold as she slams open the front door of Eddie’s ruined trailer, shouting at unseen figures to look away. Of course the kids would have come, too.
And then Steve is lifting you and you sob and it’s the first time you’ve actually reacted to something. Though it means you’re aware, that you aren’t braindead. Eddie finds no relief in this. It meant you were feeling everything.
Eddie’s chin drops to his chest as he cries, shaking so hard the chains tied around him rattle, wracked by hysterical grief and shame and horror and confusion. Why is he bound to the chair? What happened? Why can’t he remember anything? Why are they looking at him like that? Are you going to be okay?
Robin spares him a glance, equal parts guilt and fear in her bloodshot eyes, and then they’re all taking off out the door.
Eddie can hear the car peel away.
He’s stuck. Trapped. Confused. Angry. Scared. Alone.
What happened?
What did he do?
Oh God... What did he do?
#eddie munson x you#eddie x reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#stranger things#stranger things x reader#stranger things x you#stranger things s4#eddie x you#Eddie Fic#Eddie Angst#Eddie Dark!Fic#Dark!Fic#Angst Fic
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I hope you're doing ok, I only read about what happened at riot fest through someone who saw some of the people who fainted and had to be taken out, but to be in the situation that you were is so terrifying. I really wish I could whisk you to another concert of theirs, it breaks my heart that arseholes who have no regard to others' wellbeing ruined your experience. (And reading your post about how gerard was trying to control the crowd, I couldn't stop thinking about how disturbing it must have been to watch people fainting left and right and having to be surfed out of the crowd, and people still continuing to push.)
i'm okay!<3 i went home and hit the Hay afterwards lol. my abdominal cavity was still rlly sore tho lol like i couldn't eat my burrito once i got home :( which i shouldve expected cuz i couldnt even drink water without sharp stabbing pangs from my diaphragm n intestines still on bad terms with each other skjskjng . but i was better the next day :) . and i was so sad for the band you're 100% correct i can't imagine what they must've been thinking up there having to perform while so many people were getting hurt :/ . like gerard handled everything so well, better than the event organizers ffs, and i was so mad because then the tabloids were released ranking the 13 most "dangerous bands/crowds" at riot fest & MCR was right up there and it's like!!!!!! the band was doing everything they could to keep the crowd safe, pausing between every damn song, literally ZERO bantering from gee in between because he was too busy counting the steps he wanted the crowd to take back.
that's why i'm still kinda annoyed abt me almost fainting bc i know it's not my fault but i still feel so stupid n weak bc i feel like everyone thinks it's my fault too and i 'couldn't hang' but i was literally being crushed from all four sides of my body and my nose was in this stinky bitch's armpit like:((( it's not fair. and like i tried not to let the fact that i was almost barrier, ~1hr away from seeing the band whose music was literally the only thing i listened to from 12-16yrs old when my mom was sick and dying and i deadass had nothing left that resonated with me aside from mcr & the boys' side projects for 4 years straight. it sounds corny as fuck but it honestly felt like a dream come true to be able to see them live and so up close like??
but i'm not gonna lie i couldn't stay positive lol. i was in a fog and dissociated for their entire set. n like the fact that i was 1000000s of feet away from my original spot so i couldn't even see them on stage, just the big screen, it just made the dissociation worse because everything had already looked and felt unreal and now mcr felt unreal too but like in the worst way possible, like they actually WERE NOT real and i was watching a youtube video at home lol. and i've literally never tried so hard in my LIFE to re-ground myself because i wanted to be at least somewhat present for this once in a lifetime chance u know?? so i tried singing along but i couldn't because it made the shooting pains so much worse. then i tried just mouthing the words but the pain kept getting worse and i literally had to leave during the middle of TKFY because i was getting nauseous and lightheaded again. aside from the pain i truly couldn't feel anything while watching them perform i was just so numb from everything and i couldn't stop crying because i deadass felt zero happiness, and that realization made me cry more because they weren't even happy tears, they weren't the ones i'd expected to cry. it was honestly one of the worst feelings i've ever experienced, feeling nothing, just numb as fuck inside despite being live and present at the concert of the band that had at one point made me feel everything, every emotion, tenfold all at once. and there i was 10 years later, feeling nothing. tis a veerrrryyyyyy hard pill for me to swallow lol n im still tryna choke it down. i haven't been able to listen to any mcr songs since bc i'm afraid i'm going to experience the same empty feelings again orrrrr worse break down and cry like a little bitch n feel sorry for myself bc i was so.close. to having this 1 thing i always wanted but never thought i'd be able to have and then *poof* IT'S GONE. like i can't have shit in this world lol i jsut wanted to give my inner child some peace and remember happier days before mom was gone and what happpens instead??? god yanks mcr away from her too lmaoooo. it's like funny and ironic tbh idk. and then ofc for their last song gerard played cancer and i was 10000000000000 of feet away in pain while my stepmom tried 2 find me water n im just sobbing next to some trashcans bc suddenly im 12 years old realizing i just lost the last piece of my childhood n mcr can't soothe me anymore and mom isn't there either and now i truly have nothing left inside or outside myself that makes me happy:-). like i don't think i've EVER even cried to cancer bc i didnt think it was /that/ sad and my mom literally died of cancer and i still never cried??? But idk that was another weird sad thing that jabbed the knife in deeper lol.
but also ik why gee played it, they were supposed to close with TKFY but played cancer bc it's their slowest 'saddest' song which would hopefully make everyone chill the fuck out & leave without trampling each other. which, AGAIN, gerard is literally an amazing fucking frontman for once AGAIN going out of his way to try and mellow ppl out n keep everyone safe aND FOR TABLOIDS TO ATTACK THEM calling them the most dangerous band like!!!!!!!! it literally wasn't their fault ppl are just fucking idiots and don't understand BASIC PHYSICS/HUMAN ANTOMY DKDFNSKD. ngl the only reason i'm not wrathful abt the article is bc it's validating 2 me n my experience that Yes that crowd was actualyl fucking awful and what happened to me was OUT of my control n therefore it wasnt>:(my>:(fault>:(((
#anon i am so sorry for leaving what shouldve been a diary entry in my own personal journal at home in the answer to ur ask#i just have a lot of feelings i guess and i feel like no 1 understands how sad i am and it wasnt my fault ok like im literally#going into emergency nursing i THINK i know what a fuckign crush injury is and how the human anatomy works like !!!!!!#i've been to GA concerts with 0 food in my stomach 0 water 0 sleep and hella alcohol and I WAS FINE#i barely even drank at riot fest#also i remained dissociated until i got home n went to bed and it was probably one of the worst episodes i was so out of body out of touch#i think every1 who wants 2 invalidate me should come 2 my house and let me crush their abdominal organs and lungs :) come see for urself!!!#im not even gonna get into how upset i am w myself for feeling alienated from mcr#maybe i sound dramatic idk but they meant Everything to me so it was jsut so devstating to feel nothing from them anymore#riot fest#ask#ramblings
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SO. JUST FINISHED READING CH 4 AND.
ok first actually this is literally so good this whole fic is so so good and has been living rent free in my head since august 25th ok i literally think about it a minimum of 3 times per day and thats a very conservative guesstimate. ok.
BUT. BESTIE. IM UNWELL. (please forgive this outrageous outpouring of emotions in ur ask id comment on ao3 but i forgot my password and can't be bothered to fix it rn)
"There are more stars out, and the moon is bright." THERE ARE STARS OUT TONIGHT AND HE CAN SEE THEM PLEASE STOP IM ON THE FLOOR.
"Steve already knows and his stomach fills with those butterflies he's still trying to get used to." butterflies to get USED TO I AM BEGGING FOR MERCY
""What are you so afraid of?" Steve asks, holding him there, so he can't run away from this. Eddie's voice is soft, serious. Earnest. "You."" literally just kill me rn it would hurt less.
the kiss the kiss the kiss tHE KISS THE KISS THE KISS THE KISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also thank fUCK these morons are finally starting to TALK TO EACH OTHER GOOD GOD
i have perished this is so exquisite the pinING the MORONIC but so relatable desire to not look/feel vulnerable. bOTH making comments that just end up living rent free in the others head. the unfoRTUNATE TIMING WITH THE DAMN TEXTS. i-. im gonna stop myself right here. but. i love this fic so much. thank u thank u thank u for writing this 😭💕😭💕
ALKSDAJLSKD i'm so glad you're enjoying it. this was like. VERY NICE TO READ 💙 😭😭 like you just popping over here to make my day?? pls do.
okok but to speak to the points you liked!! (which, ty for including, i love hearing about what stood out) i'm gonna pop them under a read more cause it got a bit long. I GUESS I HAVE A LOT TO SAY 💙
steve looking out at the stars!! big sky! big feelings!!! he's stepping out onto the balcony and is opening himself up to it. he has a big heart, he's just bad at using it sometimes.
the butterflies!! honestly, it was so fun to see steve is like. acknowledging he has a Thing for eddie and it's not just about him wanting physical closeness (chapter 2 steve would've been like ? this isn't butterflies, this must be indigestion). and he's like OK I ACCEPT. reluctantly, and a bit sadly, but he accepts it!!
but on the flip side, acknowledging that he has feelings means it's real now, and steve is impulsive and likes to have confirmation so :) :) he went and tried to get it, haha. and didn't that go well.
steve is someone who has no problem admitting what he fears - probably because everything has sort of 'worked out' in that regard so far - but what he loves, on the other hand?? terrifying to admit in the circumstances that it might not be reciprocated. also, i think the nancy breakup is always going to be a big turning point in steve's life cause it's like the MOST stable thing suddenly crumbling.
all that to say, steve doesn't see revealing that he's scared as a big deal quite like eddie does. so eddie saying steve is who he's afraid of - to his face - is like. ultimate vulnerability. he wouldn't tell steve he was afraid of him (or afraid of steve breaking his heart 😌😌) if he didn't trust him. steve doesn't see it that way tho. steve's worst fear is being feared lol.
annnnnnd the kiss 😌😌😌 with so much buildup, i was like. yikes. i hope this goes over okay. but then the plot did its thing and turns out it's just another step on the way there, 'cause at the end of the day, the no-kiss thing is just a piece of a bigger issue here.
anyway, ty for sending this very sweet message 💙 i hope you enjoy chapter 5!! should be up this week.
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im on a sliding scale between 'this is great im so excited' and 'wHaT tHe fCuK aM i ThInKiNg' only the scale doesnt slide it just tips from one extreme to the other with no warning
#rhi does uni#this feels like such a fucking big step right now im terrified#i just hate reaching out to people and sending messages for the first time i guess#hope i havent fucked shit up already
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hello when i say wen qing never did anything wrong i mean exactly that
#idk someone rbed my txt post saying she was a flawed character in the way everyone else was because she never killed wen ruo han when given#i don't think thats a good argument?? her options were to let strangers die or let her brother die........ there is no right answer to that#so does that make her flawed?#im not against characters having flaws and i think its interesting too but#from a freaking kid to the last second of her life all she was doing was trying to protect people#and we weren't given enough insight into her life anyways to determine if she did do any morally ambiguous things since this is wwxs pov#so saying that she was a flawed character for trying to protect her brothers life just ...... aint it idk it makes me :///#also its not like she never put her and her brothers lives at risk anyways#every single time she was trying to protect wwx and everyone else she was one step closer to danger#so yeah i dont think wen qing needed to apologise to anyone . she did not need to say sorry she did nothing fucking wrong#even the whole core extraction thing w jc#obv its shit that it happened without jcs consent but THINK abt the state wwx was in when he begged wq to do it#how could wq refuse???? shes one single girl#the exact same age as all the other kids#expected to make such big decisions#it isnt fair. she tried her fucking best to make everyone happy only to be put under the MOST scrutiny. she didnt deserve her death#LITERALLY fuck off i am the biggest wen qing apologist here she did NOTHING wrong#ok i feel better now lol#like its not like she personally killed wen ruo hans victims she was LITERALLY a fucking hostage. being forced to watch wrh MURDER people#would that not make u terrified????? she grew up with that monster#imagine all the ways he threatened her to keep her under his control#dont blame wen qing for wen ruo hans victims thats just so unfair#wenqing undoubtedly feels bad abt letting them die 100% but that doesnt mean shes to blame
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Little self-update (and rambles) in tags 👀
>:33
#hi hi#im v tired#not feeling up to social interactions much today#i’ve been cramming for this course all day#and i’m about to sign up to do an interview for it tomorrow#im so excited and fucking terrified all the same#im ready for a nap#i’ll respond to my messages and inbox later or tomorrow#thanks for being understanding#i just#blah#im bleh today#ive been super stressed lately bc ive been noticing that im not living the life i want to live#and the steps to reach that life are intense and difficult and im not sure if im ready for them but i want them anyway and i need them#im ready to get out of here#you ever get that feeling?#“im meant to be doing something right now but im not sure what”#but like in a big picture kind of way#idk#anyway#im struggling (but fine) a bit rn and i just ploooooh im not great at socializing today#doesnt help that my uterus is planning to murder me sometime this week#sshdkdldjdjdjsks#not ah#my posts#self update#tag rambles#also im so touch starved fam i havent had a hug at all this year and i might die from it wtf is happening#i just want to hug and cuddle with someone rn ngl like pls come cuddle me i will be so happy omg im so tired and sad today come nap with mee#anyway yeah so there it is i’ll see you lovelies tomorrow
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𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞
200 followers special
includes: multiple characters (would add more tags but.. i reached 30 ;;)
your name is shortened to y/n, they/them pronouns
notes: thank you for 200 followers! this isn’t really going to be that long, but im just doing the characters i really like so ;; ALSO I MIGHT’VE GOTTEN KIRI’S ENTRY A LITTLE WRONG so ugh sorry ;;
—
shouto todoroki
— THE OBSERVANT SIMP
from the start, he’s quite oblivious to certain things, (social ques, signs of romantic interest, etc.)
but when he’s observant with someone, then that totally means you’re special to him. does he realize how much he pays attention to you? hmm.. maybe?
he’s going to be the first one that notices you’re hungry, even if you don’t realize it yourself. he’s quick to grab a snack and break it open to you
same thing with being thirsty— if he notices that your water bottle is empty, he’ll quickly find the nearest vending machine and buy a bottle.
temperature is also no problem. he can immediately tell whenever someone’s cold; but he usually helps you first
too hot? he’s slowly putting down the room’s temperature
too cold? his left palm starts emitting some sort of heat in your direction, hoping it creates some sort of aid
if your shoelaces are undone, and/or he notices that there’s a button undone on your shirt— he’ll fix it for you
will ask to take your pictures on dates, and he’ll also help you pick out the best photo (not that any photo of you is short of any beauty)
in short— people will notice that he’s actually a big simp for you; because of how observant he is with you specifically.
katsuki bakugou
— THE TSUNDERE SIMP
just because he’s simping for you doesn’t mean he’ll treat you any differently. bakugou will be bakugou, and you eventually learn how to adapt to that.
but even so, his simp habits slip out sometimes.
when he’s cooking, he’ll accidentally make too much to eat, and he’ll coincidentally put the extras in another box and hand it to you
he’s a good student, even with studies. but would he say he’s a good teacher? hm. probably not
but if he notices you need help, he’ll sigh, feining annoyance as he decides to tutor y’all, because those ‘idiots’ are hopeless
rolls his eyes when he sees food on your cheek, but he’ll grab a tissue and wipe it off for you— claiming how you’re so messy.
he’ll act like he hates hearing your ‘annoying ass singing’ but he’ll lean against the doorway and listen to you rock out to whatever song you’re singing to.
denki will call him a simp for looking after you, and bakugou will just yell at him to “SHUT UP” >:T
he secretly likes taking care of you. his words aren’t the softest thing in the world, but his actions make up to it.
izuku midoriya
— THE DETAILED SIMP
as katsuki bakugou would call him; he is a nerd
he definitely meant that as an insult, but his input on detail makes it very useful in things like relationships
he remembers every detail of your quirk, your limits, potential secret moves.
it would’ve been stalker-ish, if it weren’t for the fact that deku does this out of admiration for his s/o
so if you so happen to collapse due to overusing your quirk— deku has a detailed plan on what to do. it’s almost scary.
he puts detail in a lot of things, anniversary gifts, birthday gifts, and so on.
deku’s also the type to plan things weeks before it actually happens. like.. planning out the perfect birthday gift
and with this, his memory is really good. so it’s very unlikely that he’ll just suddenly forget anniversaries and birthdays.
i hc deku as a bad cook, so he eats takeout food more than his homemade food
but he’s takes note of your allergies, your dislikes with food— and he finds himself mumbling small details to recall what you like
when you walk out in pretty/good outfits for dates
his face will break out into shades of red— suddenly rambling all the good details of your outfit, complimenting you while he’s at it
“y/n’s looks fantastic as always. i might die from their beauty”
if anyone calls him a simp, he’ll be really embarrassed about it. “me? a s-simp? is that a bad thing?”
just tell him it’s fine.
denki kaminari
— THE HYPEMAN SIMP
a big simp
like.. really big
he worships the ground you step on, and hypes up everything you do
y’all know when irene from red velvet literally breathed in north korea, and the crowd just
*claps*
yeah, that’s denki to you
it’s so blantly obvious that he’s simping over someone, and everyone’s just kinda used to it at this point
he’s just a big fanboy sometimes
whenever you’re sparring with someone, he’s always in the background like
“go s/o!!” 🤩
and he has tendencies to go a little easy on you like.. what’s he gonna do when you get electricuted??
but that doesn’t mean he’s never serious— nah.
there are times where he’s just a little bashful just being in your presence
sneaking glances your way, as he silently fanboys about you in general.
“s/o looks really good today. they always look good but !!”
when y’all weren’t together, the bakusquad was just tired of the constant romantic pining
it was really obvious that he was simping back then, and they’re not so sure as to how you didn’t say anything about it
mina always called him a simp
so yeah!! it was a big relief when you got together with him. he never makes you feel terrible, because he’s always your #1 hypeman.
eijirou kirishima
— THE HELPING SIMP (rip idk what to call this)
i didn’t really know what kinda name i went for this one but let me carry on
kiri upfront is very confident, and friendly. he never shows a mean side to anyone,
and there are rare cases of him being bashful
he’s kinda almost like a golden retriever? since he’s always nice and friendly to everyone
but then when you enter the room; he suddenly goes quiet, and he’s left alone with his rather loud thoughts about you
he didn’t really know how to properly approach you at first
but him being kiri, he’s still rather friendly to you (for now)
when he’s messing around, practically sharing one braincell with kami and sero
and then you suddenly walk in— he snaps out of his foolishness, and greet you with his very warm smile
“hey y/n!” he waves at you, and he hopes you don’t mention the teasing look on both kami and sero’s face
sometimes when he’s doing his close combat training, and he notices that he’s getting too close to you
he’ll be like “woah man, maybe we should move locations.” bc he doesn’t wanna hit you by accident ;;
kirishima prefers to not stand near you when his hair is all spiky. like he’s never conscious about it, until he’s around you
man poked sero with his hair before, and he doesn’t want to do that to you
kiri always looks at your hand, just to see if it’s occupied with something. his thoughts linger to what your hand might feel like
“their hand looks really.. soft. argh! i shouldn’t be thinking about these kind of things in public! im sorry y/n”
bakugou really only notices kirishima’s simping ways
bakugou always mentions the fact that kirishima goes really silent whenever you’re around—
and he’s secretly contemplating on having you around more so he can just shut up 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。
moving aside all of that, kiri always carries your things.
you’ll beg him to give you at least one thing, and he’ll say no because it’s “not manly to let someone carry all of this.”
if you’re sad, he’s the first one to cheer you up— reassuring you that everything will be okay.
kiri’s just wants to be at your service at all times! it’s manly to help people, right?
hitoshi shinsou
— THE DISCREET SIMP
no one would be able to tell that he’s simping for someone
because unlike kaminari; he’s not like IM HITOSHI SHINSO AND IM ACTUALLY A SIMP
he’s a lot more discreet, and no one has really caught on, besides you and kaminari of course
he’s a lot less sarcastic with you, asking you about anything that’s happened instead of just being there
he prefers it to hear you talk. the way each word and syllable rolls off your tongue smoothly, and the way you use your hands to emphasize things
he’s amused.
oh and the way he looks at you? almost any normal person can sense the simp in him pop out (he’s so contained though)
he’s definitely the person that’ll get rid of any bug that’s terrifying you— even though he’d normally just leave it to them
he’ll do it, regardless if it’s the biggest fucking spider he’s ever seen, or the smallest spider
he’ll do it to make you feel safe.
he has these random spurs of compliments during the day
the source mainly comes from his staring habit
and they’re just so unexpected and out of the blue. hitoshi’s amused whenever he sees your reaction to his compliments
like.. you could be really frustrated about something, and he’ll just go “your eyes are pretty.” that’s his discreet method tO MAKE YOU TEMPORARILY DISTRACTED FROM THE ISSUE—
call him a simp, whatever. it’s true anyway so he doesn’t why should he be ashamed of it?
he’s discreet about it, since it’s your business and his business. but you can definitely feel his feelings loud and clear
neito monoma
— THE 180 SIMP
“i’m not a simp!”
[you enter the room]
*nervous laughter*
he had his last laugh, and he never thought he’d be this soft around someone.
especially if you’re from class 1-A like.. i became the thing i hated, ugh.
relentless teasing is amped but this is his way of making sure you remember him loud and clear
but he’ll never tease you in a condescending way— like how he torments the rest of class 1-A
that’s reserved for them 💅
always compliments you, that’s the first thing he does when he sees you—
and they’re never generic compliments either
“it’s nice to see you here, y/n! you make the world better day by day!”
“i’m still wondering what you’re doing in class 1-A, you’re much better than them!”
everyone secretly wonders how you got monoma to like you
monoma canonically likes pastels. spread the word
so sometimes, you’ll walk over to your desk— and you’ll just see this random pastel ornament sitting on your desk
you know who it’s from
whenever monoma starts becoming annoying, kendo will definitely use you as a weapon to make him shut up
he’ll be laughing at the expression on his face, thinking he’s absolutely winning at this
but the smile is wiped off his face when he hears “ok go on, i’ll tell y/n about your antics.”
“no, no! i’ll behave now, please don’t tell y/n.”
class 1-b literally use you as blackmail whenever monoma acts up, and it’s because of how different he is around you
like.. his personality takes a 180, (besides the obvious teasing) it’s alarming
—
©️zukuist 2021, bnha|mha belongs to horikoshi kohei. do not repost my work❕
#bnha x reader#bnha x you#mha x reader#bnha headcanons#bnha x y/n#bakugou imagines#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugou x y/n#todoroki shouto x y/n#todoroki shouto x reader#todoroki x y/n#todoroki imagines#shinsou x reader#shinsou imagines#todoroki x reader#shinsou hitoshi x reader#kirishima eijirou x reader#kirishima x reader#kirishima x y/n#kirishima imagines#kaminari denki x reader#kaminari imagines#kaminari denki x y/n#kaminari x reader#midoriya izuku x reader#midoriya x y/n#midoriya imagines#monoma neito x reader#monoma x reader
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Yuma Mukami- Scream For Me
CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST HERE
SO ANON ASKS
If you’re prompts are still a go can I get a Yuma Mukami from DL and reader with the prompts
37- “Am I making you nervous, Y/N?
17- “We’re only sharing a bed, it isn’t the end of the world.”
39- "Just admit you want fuck me…if you behave, I might just let you.”
28- “I’m more than capable of being rough with you babe. You just watch.”
32- “Shh, wouldn’t want the boys to hear us, now would you?”
And the reader is still pretty new to the Mukami mansion, and is Lowkey terrified of Yuma because he’s so big and loud and ANGRY sounding but she also like has a thing for him? She’s also quite smaller than he is because he’s so tall and broad
That’s a lot BUT LET’S FUCKING GO YESSSSS
Babygirl.....it’s on. ALSO IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE.
Leggo!
...
Was hiding really the way to go? Absolutely! You were in a constant state of alert in this place. You had only been here less than two weeks and you were honestly over it already.
You had gotten lost so many times, you began to wonder if you lived in a maze that changed with every turn. It wouldn’t surprise you to be honest.
Of all the people that could have been forced into this world without choice, it was you. Thanks to your mother and her debts. You could just remember her words.
It’s for our family, honey...
Selling you out to strangers, nice.
You missed your other friends, you missed Yui (God only knows how much shit she’s going through without you to back her up. Every day you would go over there to make sure she was still alive. There was hell to pay if you saw so much as a scratch on her.)
You had found yourself in a seemingly abandoned bedroom.
“Finally away from those freaks.” you grumbled, sliding down the door. “This is what I’ve been reduced to, hiding.” you griped. You could still hear the commotion, the smashing of glass and the arguing of men over who would get to bite you first. It suddenly got quiet, too quiet. It felt like the air was getting stiff. You felt eyes on you...you were being watched, but by who.
“Someone’s in here.” you concluded.
Before you could scramble to your feet and leave, you were stopped.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, not unless you want to get ambushed.”
Yuma Emerged from a dark corner, toying with a hair tie. You watched in silence as he secured his hair back. He swaggered over to you, gently resting his hand against the door, trapping you between it and himself. “Any reason you’re in my room?”
You were taken aback, he seemed quite calm and reserved unlike the rambunctious and loud asshole you saw before. That wasn’t good. If anything this side of him made you even more afraid.
.”I said what are you doing in my room!” he demanded, slamming his fist on the door. That alone was enough to make you flinch and turned your head away.
“I got lost!” you replied as loudly as you could, not even close to matching his tone. You sounded scared and pathetic...mostly because you were. “Please don’t punish me like RukI!”
You had looked him in the eye...once. Big mistake.
“Please, like I’d waste my time.” he sneered. “You’re really that frightened of my brothers?”
You shamefully nodded your head, not trusting your voice.
“Fine, stay as long as you want.” he huffed, stepping away from you.
“Huh?” you found your voice. “Really?!” you sounded a bit too happy.
“Are you that excited to be here with me?” he tilted his head to the side, a strange smile spreading across his face. “Y/N....it’s Y/N, right?”
“Y-yes?” it came out like a question instead of an actual answer.
“I figured. Just thought I put a name to the face that watches me so often.” he winked. “Do you like me or something?”
Shit! He knew?
"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? " he asked, still smiling devilishly. “It’s adorable.”
Yuma made you look up at him, slipping his fingers under your chin.
“I think your little crush on me is funny.”
“Funny?” you repeated, feeling shocked. Wow, were you that pathetic? “Good to know.” you grumbled.
“What did you say?” he glowered, glaring down at you.
“I know you think I’m just a weak human...but I have feelings.” you moped, starting to turn around. “I’ll just leave.”
“Are you gonna wait for me to finish?” he snapped, just as your hand hit the doorknob.
Defeated, you lowered your hand and turned back around.
“I like messing with you, Am I making you nervous Y/N?”
As you stayed silent, he burst out laughing.
Yuma thought you were adorable, adorable and slightly wimpy. You were much more fun to torment than the other one...whatever her name was. Yuki? Yuna? Jennifer? Who cared?
“Since you have to do what we say, you’re gonna spend the night with me.”
Shit....
...
You crawled onto your side of the bed, as close to the edge as possible. You didn't want to risk anything. You were scared to death.
“We’re only sharing a bed, it isn’t the end of the world.” You saw Yuma yank his shirt over his head, revealing all his glory. “I mean, it could be with me.” he winked. You hadn’t even changed clothes, you were in the same dress you wore that day.
You instantly turned on your other side, not wanting him to see your face. You turned away from him. He was so godly it was wrong. You felt the bed dip down.
It was silent for a few minutes, you had almost relaxed a bit. Keyword: Almost. You felt his fingers creep up your thigh.
His low breathy laughter caught your attention.
“You’re so cute.” you heard him whisper. “I think I’ll keep you.” his lips ghosted over your ear.
You bit down on your lip to stop from moaning. You felt his tongue trace the shell of your ear, his hot breath tickling you. His fingers kept inching and inching closer to that spot between your legs. “ Just admit you want fuck me…if you behave, I might just let you. “
You choked on your own breath as he lashed his tongue around your ear, moaning to add insult to injury.
Then you did it. You moaned ever so quietly, but he could sure as hell hear it. Yuma slapped a hand over your mouth right before he pushed you on your back. He used his other hand to pry your legs apart. “Look at that, all fucking wet for me....what if I just?” He bought his fingers to his mouth and spit on his fingers. Your eyes widened in anticipation as he bought his hand into the waistband of your panties. You felt his wet fingers slip inside.
You let out another moan, this time louder.
“ Shh, wouldn’t want the boys to hear us, now would you?” He shushed you. “Listen to that.” he reveled in the lewd sounds your body made for him. “Listen to that~” he snarled as he thrust his fingers deeper. “Fuck.” he watched you tremble under him. You moaned into his hand, practically drooling. Your insides clenched around his fingers. “You like being defiled by me, don’t you? You’re making a fucking mess, nasty slut.”
You watched through hooded eyes and Yuma finger fucked you. He stared down at his hand doing the deed, mouth again with his tongue hanging out. It was almost like he was receiving pleasure of his own through bullying you in such a lewd way. You were moaning into his hand, completely unaware of your volume. Anyone who could way by would absolutely hear.
Yuma took his hand from your mouth and grabbed your right leg. He tore his fingers from your and lifted your leg up, running his tongue along your calf before burying his fangs into your scorching hot skin. You gasped at the pain.
“Fuck.” he lapped up your blood. He drove his fangs even deeper into the exact same place. Yuma’s brothers would be pissed off when they learned that they wouldn’t have been the firsts to bite you.
Yuma stared down at you, looking absolutely feral. Blood smeared across his cheek. He smiled evilly.
“W-what are you gonna do to me?” you dumbly asked. “You’re not gonna be rough are you?” you couldn’t help but ask.
“I’m gonna be more than rough, human. I’m more than capable of being rough with you babe. You just watch. I’m gonna fucking destroy you until you can’t go anywhere without being carried there by me.“
#anime layouts#anime x reader#anime imagines#anime scenarios#anime smut#anime lemons#diabolik lovers#diabolik lovers x reader#diabolik lovers imagines#diabolik lovers lemon#yuma mukami#yuma mukami x reader#yuma mukami lemon#yuma mukami imagines#yuma x reader#diabolik lovers yuma#kou mukami lemon#ruki mukami lemon#azuza mukami
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QUEER EYE SEASON 6 BAYBEE
THERE ARE MOTHA FUCKIN SPOILERS AHEAD SO BE WARNED BITCH
Antoni -
Sir has not used ONE avocado so far. We call that. Growth. He has cried four (4) times tho
Mans is in love with Terri and I’m here for this relationship
“Change can be terrifying because you don’t know what’s on the other side but something as simple as one recipe you realize it’s not that big of a deal at all”
“HEY LETS GO WEIGH THINGS ON THE NEW SCALE”
“THERE WILL BE N O FLAVORLESS FOOD THIS WEEK 😤🥰”
“Small little tweaks will over time will make a big difference over times”
“I’m in a tree 🥰!!!! Oh my gosh 😥”
“EVERYTHING IS CUTE 😤😤 EVERY SINGLE THING IS CUTE 😤😤😤😤”
ANT BABY S T O P PUTING RANDOM SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH
“It’s really hard not to fall in love with someone who is so passionate about what they do”
Tan -
The clothes for angel?????? Y e s ??????
“I don’t know any woman, outside of the size two runway models, that doesn’t have that little bit of fat on their tum”
“I want to remind Todd what there is to life with his wardrobe… I want to remind him that he can move forward through his clothes”
The way he finds clothes for the hero’s that are so similar to what he knows they already are comfortable with but elevated is jus AH. And how he makes them feel happy and good in their bodies. I just love tan so much
MY STONE FACED BABY CRIED
Mmmmm layers be adding shape but taking it away. We call that magic
“I just want you to see the version of you that I see”
“I wanna get you to where you’re not hiding yourself away”
SARA’S CLOTHES??? Y E S
Karamo-
I love the way Karamo thinks s o much and I also love how he gets the w a y he thinks across with his words.
“Broken crayons can still color”
“Does that say BYOB???? Bring ya own BOBBY”
“You don’t deserve to be sleeping through your celebration”
“You need to accept and forgive your past so you can be joyful and present right now”
*while twerking* “IM ON A SUGAR HIGH IM ON A SUGAR SUGAR HIGH”
“Your dream gave you the highest and greatest moment of your life but you forget that because it’s so easy to focus on the negative”
No one:
Karamo: SQUEEEEEEEE
Bobby-
THE PINK SUIT???????????? SO GOOD
HE NEEDS MORE MOTHER FUCKING S C R E E N T I M E. IVE BEEN SAYING IT
“If you don’t take care of you, you can’t take care of everybody else”
MANS BUILT A B A R N FROM THE G R O U N D UP IN A W E E K AND ITS S O GOOD GODDAMN
His designs like always are so beautiful, but the way he is so open to keeping a room the way it is if that room is special to the hero. I love him
Johnathan-
YES TEACH THAT REPUBLICAN ABOUT PRONOUNS
Their outfits are s o stunning this season, baby looks s o good
“His scalp d o e s look like a block of parmesan cheese”
“You can do all sorts of things that make you happy and s t i l l be of service”
*very seriously* “it’s nothing that a French tuck cannot fix”
SARA’S HAIR??????????????? YES BITCH
Random thoughts
The prom episode
Just
*yes*
The country version of the theme song makes me ears bleed but I’m still here for it
Can I nominate myself for queer eye so I can get hugs
ANTONI TRYNA GET TAN TO GRAB A CRAWFISH H E L P
“It’s too easy to exist and too hard to live”
I LOVE NEON SO MUCH I WISH TO GIVE HER LIDDOL KISSES
OH M Y G O D NEON IN THE PLOOKY’S SHIRT
“The first step to being a teacher is being a learner”
THE THERAPY ANIMALS IM C R Y I N G
“Thank you for showing me how to cook tiny little pretty trees”
Every time a hero has a “I need help” moment i S O B
Reggie, about the elephant: “ima take him”
Bobby: “we found him together”
#queer eye season 6#queer eye spoilers#tan france queer eye#tan france#queer eye antoni#antoni perowski#antoni porowski#karamo queer eye#karamo brown#queer eye bobby#bobby berk#antoni queer eye#jvn queer eye#jvn#johnathan van ness
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Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!
thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)
spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk
not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts
-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol
-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!
-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)
-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN
-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD
-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;
-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)
-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste
-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.
-noelle. noelle. girlboss!
-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself
-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!
-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.
-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!
-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in
-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!
-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.
-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)
-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)
-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp
-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like
-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES
-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.
-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?
-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?
-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!
-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows
-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0
-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing
-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you
-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard
that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk
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Hello i just started following you and i rlly like ur blog. Can i request a fem or gender neutral y/n x senju from tokyo rev angst where y/n doesnt think shes gay or bi and them she meets senju and everything and like y/n has kinda an identity crisis while senju is trying to help her and senju wants to be with her but y/n is scared so they decide to sneak around and do s/o things but not actually date and senju thinks shes ashamed of her which isnt tru and senju helps her come out and her oarrnt accept ger so like happy ending.
Thanks for listening i hope u take this into consideration.😅😅
here for you
character: senju
content: fluff to slight angst to fluff, fem reader, lgbtq+ reader, identity crisis, sexual awakening
hihi thank you for requesting~~ thank you for the follow and im so glad you like my blog huhu :3 omg i love this req sm lowkey inspired by my identity crisis oops and i hope this doesnt sound homophobic in any way!! do let me know tho so i can learn from it :)
i apologise for any mistakes and i hope you enjoy~~
you were so sure that you were straight all your life. you like boys and you’ve dated some in your life, but never once has the thought of dating a girl crossed your mind. so why the hell did you freeze up the moment akashi senju stepped foot in your class?
the moment she skipped in, white hair swaying with her body and that oh so adorable smile etched on her lips, you could feel your body temperature rise as you watched her make her way next to your teacher.
“i’m akashi senju! it’s a pleasure to be your classmate from today!”
her sweet voice rings in your ears, you leaned your elbows on your desk, subconsciously leaning forward. you basked in the aura that she exudes, something about her was intriguing. you wondered how it would feel like to hold her hand, or maybe how she feels like while you’re both cuddled up under comfy blankets.
but you soon caught yourself, what were you thinking about? dating senju? no, that couldn’t be true, you were straight, you were so sure of it! it’s normal to think such thoughts about a pretty girl right? it’s normal to have girl crushes right? yeah, you didn’t have feelings for her, of course not,
“hey! the seat next to you is empty! mind if i sit next to you?”
fuck.
somehow, she looked prettier up close. long, white lashes fan her cheeks as she blinks while waiting for an answer, her bright blue orbs staring back at you in anticipation.
“u-uh- y-yeah! go ahead!”
you cursed yourself for stuttering too much, now insecure of how she might be perceiving you right now. senju’s already big smile got bigger as she happily takes the seat next to you. you faced forward, trying very hard to maintain your breathing and not just combust at the new girl sitting just a few centimeters from you.
being close to senju was definitely a fun time, she was such an amazing person and friend, but the only downside to that was that now you were sure of your growing feelings towards the golden retriever girl. her enthusiastic and protective nature made you swoon and fall harder for her.
as time passed and as the both of you started growing bolder, hands resting at your sides soon made their way into the other’s, interlocking fingers as the both of you went your way. being with her made you feel butterflies, the way her touch seemed to be so comforting as she held you in that tight embrace of hers whenever she greeted you. often sneaking a few kisses here and there on each other’s cheeks, it honestly felt as if you were a couple.
but that was what made you terrified, this sudden change of emotions startled you. all this time you were convinced that you were only attracted to men, but once you met her, you spiraled down the rabbit hole of questioning. have you always liked girls? was you liking boys a lie? a cover up? or was this just a phase? all these questions weighed you down and you were feeling much more self conscious around her, you didn’t know what to do nor how to express these concerns and eventually, you started distancing yourself from her.
senju definitely noticed your sudden change and not gonna lie, she was hurt by it. every hi sent your way, she received a small nod instead of your flustered greetings. every invitation to hang out was turned down by you saying you were busy. senju was feeling heartbroken, she had a small crush on you from the time she stepped foot into class the first time. senju has always wanted to be your girlfriend ever since and she knows that you feel the same, so why are you shutting yourself away from her? even if you didn’t see her that way, she’s still your friend right?
“y/n.. could you tell me what’s wrong?”
the girl sitting beside you asked, cocking her head to the side, looking back at you with her puppy dog eyes, but was slightly disappointed when you didn’t spare her a glance.
“‘m fine senju.”
you continued looking forward, afraid that if you look at her, your heart would start to melt and all those concerns would start flooding your mind again. but you were forcefully turned to face her when senju grabs hold of your shoulders, face so close that you could feel her breathing.
“no you’re not! why’re you avoiding me? did i do something wrong? are you.. embarrassed of me..?”
you gasped in her face as you frantically shook your head no.
“no no! of course not, it’s just.. i dunno.. i’m sure i’m straight but.. when i’m with you i feel so happy and i feel all sorts of emotions but.. i don’t know-”
you buried your head in your hands, feeling your head throb from the constant worries drilling into your head. senju softens and brings you into her arms, making you relax at the familiar touch.
“y/n.. it’s alright y’know.. i’m always here to listen to you! take your time to find out okay? i’ll always be here for you, because i.. i love you.. a lot.. and i’ll wait for you!”
you could feel how senju started getting warm after saying those words. you smiled and let out a small giggle before hugging her back.
“mhm, thank you senju~”
and senju stuck to her word, she was with you every step you took to discovering your sexuality, she was patient with you and that only made you fall harder for the blonde. you eventually came out to her, telling her how badly you wanted to be in a relationship with her. when senju heard the news, she was ecstatic, could barely contain her excitement as she brought you into a bone crushing hug, spinning you around in her arms.
until the day came for you to come out to your parents. you stood at your front door, nervous, palm sweating and slightly trembling in fear from how your parents were going to react. but a reassuring hand comes up and slips into yours, turning to face your beautiful girlfriend giving you that reassuring smile of hers.
“don’t worry, i’m here!”
and you really couldn’t be any thankful to have senju there with you during your journey. you nodded and sucked in a breath, opening the door and stepping foot into the house.
you did not realise how long you’ve been holding your breath until you started choking from your parents’ approval.
“w-wait- are you serious?”
“of course! oh darling, we’re so happy for you and we’re so happy to meet your darling girlfriend! come come, stay for dinner and let me show you just how adorable our darling y/n is~!”
“mom!”
senju laughs, thumb rubbing against your hand while it’s still intertwined with yours. looking up, you were met with her smiling face, love-struck orbs staring back at you. you leaned up to give a peck on her nose, too far in love to notice your parents taking a picture of you to cherish the moment.
❥ masterlist
reblogs are highly appreciated!!
#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers fluff#tokyo revengers oneshot#tokyo revengers x reader#senju#senju fluff#senju oneshot#senju x reader#kawaragi senju#kawaragi senju oneshot#kawaragi senju fluff#kawaragi senju x reader#kai’s 🌤#🌤 senju
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Derek would ask Spencer to explain how he feels about u to try and get him to understand that he’s in love with you but Spencer would just be like... is that not friendship?
god this idea is so fucking good but. i didn’t do it justice cause i went down a way more serious route :p 1.4k words, gn!reader
the team have been trying tirelessly to get spencer to just... see. what the rest of them see. the longing, lingering looks and requests to work together, the subtle touches that are so sweet in themselves but, with the added knowledge that spencer is Spencer, its...well, the team knows what they see. spencer is just lagging behind a little.
they try a whole plethora of methods. everyone talks to him and spencer either doesn’t connect the dots or simply says “we’re just friends!” and emily gets so frustrated she flicks spencer on the forehead and leaves a mark (i ask you picture pure, innocent spencer sat at his desk, watching emily’s retreating form with nothing but a puppy-dog confused expression and a red dent in the middle of his forehead).
penelope is at her wits end, so derek decides to step up and retry a very basic method: talking spencer through how he feels for you. surely he’s self-aware enough that he’ll hear himself and hear how un-friendlike it all sounds and... tada! love.
but it’s never quite as easy as you’ll think it’ll be, is it?
spencer should’ve known something was amiss when derek asked him if he wanted to hang out and let him choose where they would go - spencer? being allowed to choose where to hang out after work? have you ever heard of something called a red flag?
so spencer chooses a cafe which - immediately, the second they step through the doorway - spencer has a joy to him, telling derek about the last time you and him came here and what you ordered and what you thought of it and all these details that even the most attentive best friend wouldn’t think were anything more than trivial matters. he remembers the shape you tore your napkin into, for goodness sake. in what realm is that friendly behaviour?
then, to make matters worse, spencer, mid-walk to a table in the corner by a large window, abruptly changes directions, making derek almost spill his coffee. spencer apologies, then says they can’t sit in that booth cause that’s where you and spencer sit and - well. that’s your and spencer’s place, you can’t disrupt that! friends! friendly things and friends doing friendly stuff. friendship.
derek gives this scoff that spencer is so used to he barely reacts. when they sit, spencer is acutely aware that derek is staring - furrowed brows and this intense, firm gaze that only appears when he’s thinking. spencer’s only slightly intimidated.
he’s never been able to lie to derek. he’s never been a good liar, period. he’s good at omissions and burying himself and his emotions but, god, if someone asks just the right question, he’ll fold like the cheap deckchair he truly is.
and derek... derek knows spencer better than he knows himself sometimes.
(is there anyone else that has similar qualities? no. of course not. only his best pal derek and not a colleague/very pretty person known as You)
a question. a question is all it takes.
“so, you and y/n come here a lot?”
derek’s starting light and spencer is so enthralled at the mention of you every worry he had about why he’s here with derek and why derek is looking at him like that flies out the window.
“we do! actually, it’s the perfect meeting spot; the most convenient distance between our apartments and we both have favourite drinks here. we’ve become regulars, actually, so we make a habit of coming at least once a week at a minimum-“
and he keeps going, sweetly reminiscing about the first time you visited to the silly games you’ve created - because you’ll spend that long here, sitting opposite each other and just each other - and derek wonders how spencer doesn’t see it. doesn’t see the way he lights up at the mention of you, rambles like you’re a statistic spencer’s known for years and can’t help but bestow on everyone at every opportunity, not to mention the physical reaction he has to you. you’re not even present and spencer is wide-eyed, rosy cheeked, permanent curl to either side of his lips that looks involuntary.
he’s in love with you. his entire self, from head to toe, from mind to soul. everyone can see it, except you and him, apparently.
“they make you happy, huh?”
“well, obviously,” spencer hehs, “they’re my best friend.”
there’s an opportunity here, shyly gleaming from the corner of the conversation and derek digs it out. “you got a definition for best friend, reid?”
spencer’s taking a sip of his drink, but is happy to share his knowledge. he’s not quite as bright when he’s saying it. “a best friend has many definitions. friendship itself is usually defined as a relationship of mutual affection between people - it is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association, and has been studied in multiple academic fields-“
derek hums, encouraging him to keep going. he’ll get there.
and he does, after delving a little too far into the nature versus nurture debate.
“id consider you a best friend. jj, too. and garcia, of course. except... except with y/n it’s- it’s different.”
derek pretends to be shocked. “how’s that?”
“well... they have all the qualities id want in a friend - honesty, generosity, empathy...humour-“ spencer smiles to himself, small and intimate, remembering an inside joke between the two of you. “but they’re more than that, too. they’re there for me - not-not that you guys aren’t there for me too-“ derek just raises an eyebrow. “but...it’s different, with them. it always is.”
the shift of topic from friendship to you has spencer unfocused on his surroundings, eyes glazed over as he stares to the side of derek, who feels like he’s intruding - he rarely understands what goes on in that big head of spencer’s, vast in it’s knowledge and memories and self-perception, but right now he’s confident he does.
it’s you. he’s thinking of you, the moments you have together - perhaps in this very cafe - that are reserved for spencer and spencer alone, a side of you derek will never know because it’s not his to know; it’s spencer’s, just as spencer is yours.
his voice is level but distant, the warning signs of that magnificent mind finding the pieces and putting them together. “i think-i think about them often. how they are, what they’re doing, if they’re thinking of me too. i know they’re only a text message away or-or, on cases, a few feet away... i guess i don’t want to seem clingy. or desperate.”
“they’d never think that. you know that, right?”
“i know. i-i know that. but-i don’t... i can’t.. i don’t want to risk losing them, i guess. one wrong move and they’ll realise what a-what a complete mess i am. ill unravel and they’ll see all the dark inside and they... they don’t deserve that.”
derek goes to interrupt, because god is spencer wrong, but he doesn’t have the chance.
“they deserve love and laughter and everything i can’t give them if they... if they get too close.” now, spencer brings himself to look derek in the eye. there’s a seriousness there, a solemn stand that spencer doesn’t often take. “i can’t lose them, morgan. i can’t.” his hands tighten around his coffee cup. “i want them here, with me, for as long as i can convince them to stay. i don’t want to be selfish, i don’t- i don’t mean to be, but. i want this. i want them. every day for the rest of my life, i want them. i choose them. im just terrified they’ll see me and... they won’t choose me.”
there’s an expected silence that befalls the two of them, the busting background noise of the cafe the only moving piece. does he get it now? does he understand what has motivated every thought and feeling? every worry and action?
“reid,” derek says, softly, in a tone that has spencer straightening his back. “that’s not... that’s not just friendship. you know that, right? you can see that?”
spencer blinks.
no. you’re friends - close friends, yes, but friends nonetheless.
but he thinks back to what he’s just said -
he’d say the same for jj, right? for penelope, and for derek. even gideon, perhaps.
except... no. he wouldn’t. it’s for you, he’s for you, all of it and all of him.
and then the picture is as clear as day. no fog, no obscurity, no hesitance - and spencer’s relieved. relieved that finally, finally, he can put all of his feelings into one simple sentence.
“im in love with them.”
“yeah,” derek says, leaning back against the booth. “yeah, reid, you are.”
#headcanons#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#i did not.. expect this to be over 1000 words my deepest condolences#mine#i hope at least one person likes this#india if u see this im sorry u had to put up with my breakdown over this woukd u like me to send u flowers#q
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