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#this ain't living
emptyportrait · 3 months
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i'm actually so fucking sick of zionists using phrases such as "Was it worth it, Hamas?" cause literally what the fuck are y'all yapping about??? Israel has been indiscriminately bombing gaza in front of our eyes since last October, Israel has murdered more than 30 thousands Palestinians within 5 months, Israel is forcefully starving gaza, Israel is the one committing war crimes everyday, Israel is continuing genocide and ethnic cleansing. Israel. is. illegally. occupying. Palestine.
we all know who are the perpetrators here. and zionists can't gaslight people into "hamas started it" bullshit anymore. everyone is actually sick of Israel's dumb colonialism propaganda where they just repeat same old tactics “how dare you palestinians resist us, after we have your stolen land, freedom, human rights and subjugated your people under fascist colonial regime.”
Israel carry out atrocities in broad daylight and then go ahead blame Palestinian resistance for the said act of savagery they've performed, "O their audacity!" indeed!
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sleepire · 6 months
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"It don't bite" YES IT DO.
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fedoraspooky · 9 months
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Just saw some posts about how all the recent irritating changes at tumblr were made for the purpose of chasing growth.
And all i can say is, there's something kinda beautifully ironic about the possibility of tumblr's eventual downfall being due to their endless need for Biggering driving the natural wildlife away.
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I'm so ready for tomorrow (lie)
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crow-n-tell · 10 months
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Okay Okay so I know I mentioned previously that single, bio-body that had their faces on either side of their head. I also had an au, about DCA working at a fast food place and y/n and then causing problems and running off.
I have mashed them together. They are demons who got kicked out of hell and reader found them rooting around in the garbage like chica - so she fed them once and now they keep coming back. Might as well give them a job, right?
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astaroth1357 · 1 year
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The OM Cast as Househusbands
Inspired by my recent rant about domestic Solomon.
Contents: Pure fluff and unhinged roasts.
~♡♡♡~
Lucifer
A-tier. Generally a solid choice skill-wise.
Cooks decent, cleans well, budgets FANTASTICALLY, has a good list of connections/spells for all home repair, and even has a stern (but caring) parenting-style if so desired.
In short, Lucifer can run a house very well. He practically already does! Hope you like having a big, extended family because the brothers are coming with.
Really, the biggest downside to Lucifer is that you'll be constantly worried that he's bored... Man can run a house and then some. He probably has the daily chores done by noon, and then what?
He just has so much extra potential, is what I'm saying. Very "big, beautiful bird in a cramped cage" energy. But then again, maybe making him chill the fuck out and have a low-maintenance lifestyle for once is better for his blood pressure in the long run. Your call.
Mammon
B-tier. He ain't perfect, but he can learn quick.
If you can give Mammon anything, it's that he's a capable guy when he wants to be. He may not be good at cleaning up, cooking, or anything like that on his own, but with some encouragement...?
Big improvements made practically overnight! Shower him in praise and "thank you's" for every little thing he does and he'll start get greedy for it. Then he'll do even MORE around the house and he gets better each time.
Show him how to cook what you like, and he'll never forget. Remind him to fold up the laundry, and he'll get it done. Praise him for keeping the floors clean, then suddenly he's nagging YOU about tracking dirt on the carpet...
And he'll get so proud about it too... Like, he's your first man and you NEED him now. What would you ever do without him?? Now hand over your shirts because he has some ironing to do, dammit!!
The only downside is you'll have to handle the finances... The words "Mammon" and "budget" go together about as well as "grainery" and "match." He'll blow through it and then some. Earners beware.
Leviathan
Hovers around C-D tier. Levi can play the role of good househusband for a VERY particular kind of partner, otherwise he's a lost cause.
He is a surprisingly decent househusband ONLY when sufficiently motivated and playing out his "domestic slice-of-life" fantasies are that motivation.
He can cook (anime-inspired dishes), he can clean (if you convince him to treat the house like he does his figurine collections), he can even sew/mend (though the majority of what he makes may be cosplay related)!
He won't leave the house to shop, but deliveries are fine. He also can't keep to a budget that doesn't include a MASSIVE chunk carved out to maintain his otaku lifestyle. He'll throw a fit otherwise.
Really, Levi's biggest problem is that once those "domestic fantasies" become mundane, he'll get bored and go back to his shows and games again.
Anyone with him would need to keep feeding into his role with new "quests" or different tropes to try out like a DM running an irl campaign. Could be fun for a little while, but it'll be too much trouble for you both long term. Best give him a skip.
Satan
S-tier. Very good choice, and he's proud of that fact.
Cooks well, very conscientious of your needs, knowledgeable on many topics from recipes to home repair, actually knows how to do laundry in a timely manner... a very good man indeed.
100% the kind of husband who sees that it's going to rain, so he treks out to wherever the hell you are to make sure you have an umbrella. Can't have you getting sick.
Get him a cat and the house will become his own slice of the Celestial Realm. He'll even text cute pics/updates on what your cat is doing like they're your literal child.
Only downside is cleaning. He's a book horder and will argue until he's blue in the face to keep Every. Last. Pamphlet. An in-house library is a MUST and expect to need expansions. Otherwise, perfect man. Much approval to be had.
Asmodeus
B-A tier. Another decent choice, just a little eccentric at times.
Asmo is that partner who will happily play the part of the trophy househusband buuut he absolutely won't do anything too strenuous or dirty.
Cooking? Totally fine! He isn't amazing, but he's not awful either. Laundry? Say no more! Your clothes will never have a wrinkle again. But cleaning...? Like the floors, attic, or ESPECIALLY the bathroom??
Nope. Nuh-huh. His cute-ass hair and his cute-ass nails in his cute-ass clothes will not stand for it! He's going to beg for a maid immediately.
I guess in exchange you'll be hosting some killer dinner parties, though! Asmo has that "suburban wife who flaunts her amazing life" energy. Also keeping his influencer game alive with tutorials galore.
In short, Asmo is willing not just to spoil you, but elevate you as well. You just need to give him a little pampering in return, kay?
Beelzebub
B-tier. Most of his problems are, predictably, food related...
Beel really, REALLY tries but you are probably never going to have a meal on time (if there's somehow any food left at all).
It isn't that he won't cooking, arguably, he spends TOO much time cooking because he'll spend just as much time eating! Or running to the store because he ate the ingredients again...
Surprisingly, though, he's actually very good at cleaning and caring for another person. That's because it's what he does for Belphie. You think the seventhborn is picking up their room AT ALL? Don't kid yourself...
Probably a good time to point out that another downside (or perk??) of husband!Beel is you also get Belphie! But he's just as spoiled as ever so... Hopefully Beel's overwhelming amazingness will make up for that.
If you like Belphie and don't mind an empty cabinet, Beel is a good choice. If not, there are better options available, I promise.
Belphegor
D-tier. Shit househusband. Doesn't even try.
Won't clean, won't cook, won't shop, can't fix, can't budget, and don't even get me STARTED on the state of the sheets!!-
He is a decorative plant of a househusband. Meant only to make the room look nicer by his presence. I've seen dogs more capable and self-motivated to maintain a household than this man will ever be.
Should you somehow get him to exert the effort, he will whine and complain the entire time. And even then, he won't do much more than put some things away and order takeout.
The only upside to Belphie is that since he's always asleep, it's not like he's making the house any dirtier. Vacuuming around his unconscious ass is home life now. At least you probably get Beel too.
Diavolo
C-B tier. What he lacks in experience, he makes up for in enthusiasm.
So... he basically can't do anything but since he's never had to, you can cut him some slack. He loves the idea of TRYING though, so you have an eager student!
He finds cooking to be a fun challenge and he isn't terrible at it. Cleaning is a drag but he likes to see you happy. You'll have to teach anything laundry/clothes related, unfortunately, and sending him to the grocery store without a very detailed list may result in him buying an entire aisle if he doesn't know what to get.
At least he'll genuinely love to hear about your day and have the biggest smile and warmest greeting for you every time you come home. He's like a big'ol puppy, just thrilled with your existence!
(Honestly, if something has him stumped, he'll call for Barbatos to help. He'll try to hide it because he wants to show that he can do things himself, but at the end of the day your happiness wins over his pride. Now let the butler fix your plumbing.)
Barbatos
SS-tier. So good, it's literally not fair.
He's been caring for another person for centuries. He has every possible skill he would need permanently etched into his DNA. He is the Grand Master of Domestic Life that all others should strive for.
Meals are at perfect temperature by the time you sit at the table. The house is so spotless that you could eat off the broom closet. Anything that breaks gets fixed/replaced within the day. He even leaves words of encouragement in the little notes packed up with your lunch. You'll start to wonder if he's an angel who's infiltrated too deep....
Barbs also seems to have a sixth sense for whenever you've had a bad day. You come back dragging from exhaustion? You favorite meal is already cooked, the bath is ready to be drawn, and would you like a shoulder rub on top of that? Feel free to vent, he loves to listen to whatever stories you have to share!
There are only two downsides to Barbatos: the first is that you are absolutely sharing him still with Diavolo and the young master is his top concern. So sorry.
The second is that moment he gets even the hint that there may be a rat in the house, he'll nuke the place with all of your stuff still in it. So keep some traps out and keep'em fresh, yeah? You'll be fine.
Simeon
S-tier. He even comes with pre-installed parenting skills! (If you're into that kind of thing).
Simeon may not have Barbs' "live to serve" mentality, but he is truly an angel to a fault. The man already acts as Den Mother of Purgatory Hall, so what would you expect?
He cooks well enough to own his own business and you can't run a business without being good with your cash. He probably has book royalties too... Plus, he cleans up after Solomon's messy ass in canon, so-
He's gonna be that husband you take to the office party and nobody will leave you alone about him for the next week. People are going to ask if he has a brother or some shit (give them Raph's number, I dare you)
Admittedly, home repair (especially of the electronics he's guaranteed to break) should probably go to someone else. Also, he is a package deal with Luke. That child is your unspoken son now, and you'll just have to deal with that.
Otherwise, he's trophy material. Marry him and carry him over that threshold! He's worth it, truly.
Solomon
I've already ranted about Solomon here. But if you aren't aware, he's D-tier saved only by the fact that he's really trying his best.
800 year-old bachelor be like: "Oh, you're supposed to change those...? They don't smell that bad after a month."
"Of course those dishes are clean! Yes, I can see that there's still food on them, but I washed them with soap. That's what makes them clean."
"What do you mean, 'Don't set the table with beakers on date night?' Isn't this one your favorite??"
"Dinner's almost done, honey! Just let me finish clubbing this octopus!" 😁
Disaster husband. Just leave him to his delusions and get used to takeout...
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essektheylyss · 10 days
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You know what's hilarious, if Ludinus was indeed a young man being traumatized by the end of the Calamity. Deirta Thelyss is almost certainly older than he is.
This is not relevant but I think Essek should bring this up, just to be a bitch about it.
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dkettchen · 8 months
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welivefast-dieyoung · 19 days
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Do you know why, Kendrick is a fucking genius? Because either he put out ANOTHER scathing diss record super quick. Or he wasn't lying about there being rats in OVO and he had time to prep because he knew when Drake was dropping. He's an evil genius because we will never know which one of these is true, and neither will Drake.
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suchawrathfullamb · 2 months
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if you ever see a gay ass line in the script that got cut off and you wonder "why did they left that out??" homophobia, it's homophobia. the answer is always homophobia. oh and censorship but those go hand in hand in the industry.
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writeouswriter · 1 year
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I love how ominous such basic names like "The Organization" or "The Institute" or "The Initiative" or "The Facility" or etc. are when placed in like a shady sci-fi context, like there's no reason for them to sound that suspicious, but without elaboration, it's like here is a place where they are doing things™ and I am like ooohh, because the blank state, the refusal to give you any more detail makes you think they're hiding something on purpose and leaves the darkest corner of the imagination left to fill in the rest.
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svtskneecaps · 2 months
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ok among my favorite parts of qsmp is the fact that charlie slimecicle can only hold the act of being mad at mariana when mariana isn't in the room. like he successfully rp'd being mad at his deadbeat puta esposa for months while mariana wasn't logging on, like he complained about mariana at the wedding, during the election, in subsequent appearances, and then he's messaging mariana in the chat during purgatory and he's still holding it
and then they're both at spawn like as close to face to face as they get. and bro CANNOT hold the act it drops so fast lmfao he was like "yea cellbit i'm gonna kill mariana" and instead they have a genuinely heartfelt conversation and then rp sexo in the fountain
and i know i'm brainrotting purgatory rn but i'm actually thinking about this bc i saw a clip of mariana and slime talking during the awards show and literally. slime's face goes from 😡🤬 MARIANA'S HERE, SAY SOMETHING PUTA ESPOSA to 😄😁 the second mariana shows up on the screen
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like he's still pretending to be mad but dude is grinning like absolute crazy and i love that
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crehador · 1 year
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bang bang, he shot me down bang bang, i hit the ground bang bang, that awful sound bang bang, my baby shot me down
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People: Katniss chooses the boring option because of all she's been through!
Katniss and Peeta, in actual fact: Create games and books together(CF and again in MJ), practice skills together (flower crowns in CF) Tease and generally lightheartedly rib one another and laugh a lot together.
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riricitaa · 4 months
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✨️ January 2k24 ✨️
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m-kyunie · 6 months
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marching forward through the Gates of Hell
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