Tumgik
#they’re both violent and mean and loving and gentle they’re BOTH EVERYTHING
romulusfuckingroy · 7 months
Text
that interview about how kendall never actually bullied roman as a child… I don’t see it I’m sorry!!! we literally see how bad kendall treats him in the show, why are they saying that roman was only ever the bully in their relationship when it’s ten times more interesting and realistic that they both had moments of hurting the other?
I feel like they’re sort of trying to sanitize kendall’s feelings toward roman for some reason? like in the show they’re literally described as two fighting dogs, and roman is the weak one. I can’t believe they tried to spin dog pound as some harmless game they played; we literally see kendall’s face change in a sort of sick realization when connor tells him kendall enjoyed the “game” too.
and sorry… kendall literally popped roman’s stitches open????? like I know, I know, everyone on the show says “oh, that’s what roman wanted, he’s so fucked up that that’s what he needed and kendall was just giving him that”— no. I’m sorry but that’s an incredibly violent thing to do to your younger brother who’s already near tears. I will forever say that that scene was just as much about kendall’s selfishness and need for control as it was about roman’s wanting to be hurt.
like… I’m sorry to the actors and writers but kendall roy will always be the guy who watched his brother piss himself in a dog crate and told him to wipe it up with newspapers as a kid. he is also the guy who stood up to their dad when roman got hit! roman will always be the guy who picked his big brother up from his drug binges and took him to safety. and yes, he’s also the guy who humiliated kendall at his 40th birthday party!
they’re both, both! they’re both the aggressor and the victim! that’s what makes it fucking interesting!
131 notes · View notes
wqnwoos · 5 months
Text
the first time you cry in front of vernon, it’s because of an orange.
you’ve always loved oranges. not just because of the taste, or the flavour, but because of everything they can mean.
oranges are built for sharing. neat little segments, ready to be peeled apart and given away; they’re like muses. metaphors. i love you, i’ll peel you an orange, do you want half? — people write poetry about it. so much meaning within the simplicity of sharing.
it happens when you’re over at vernon’s place, the two of you sitting together on the floor of the kitchen. backs against the wooden cabinets, side-by-side, a comfortable silence settled in the air. late afternoon sun pours in through the window, bathing both of you in honey-gold light, softening the edges of vernon’s features whenever you look over at him.
he’s fixated on peeling that orange, the one he produced out of nowhere. you’ve never seen anyone tear the skin so carefully, but then, as you’ve come to notice, vernon handles everything carefully. even moments later, tearing the segments apart, he does it with an unusual, endearing gentleness. there’s no violent gush of juice as he splits it in half, no squashed pieces.
vernon gives you half, and you think you short-circuit a little.
(how dare you love me in the way i long to be loved?)
there’s a slightest stickiness on his fingers when they brush against yours. the sunlight is warm and heavy on your back. you think you might love him soon.
“everything okay?” he asks, soft, casting you a slightly concerned glance — likely because of the intensity with which you’re gazing at your orange half, sat perfectly round and ripe in your palm.
“yeah,” you say thickly, forcing back the tears that blur your eyes, mustering a watery smile. “everything’s perfect.”
Tumblr media
an / things are literally madness rn. but that won’t stop me from posting vernon fluff!
ALSO — “how dare you love me in the way i long to be loved?” is a quote from here!!
perm taglist: @n4mj00nvq @eoieopda @som1ig @glowunderthemoon @wondering-out-loud @graybaeismytae @hannyoontify @sahazzy @dokyeomin @icyminghao @smilehui @nicholasluvbot @lvlystars @immabecreepin @hanniehaee @kokoiinuts @astrozuya @doublasting @yepimthatonequirkyteenager @qaramu @weird-bookworm @phenomenalgirl9 @lightnjng @strnsvt
660 notes · View notes
ghostingssdeadlinee · 8 months
Text
SFW ALPHABET - SAM WINCHESTER
Warnings: cursing, made some nsft jokes.
AN: he’s so girlfriend <3333
Tumblr media
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
He’s not very big on PDA, like hand holding and small kisses anywhere is great. But if you wanna make out just tug on his arm, go to a reserved era, and start kissing, could never say no too that.
In private tho, very much on quality time and physical touch, like sit on his lap while he’s researching and your read a book, or let him lay on your lap while he researches and you play with his hair, he’ll die.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Very caring, if you like something special he definitely looks it up so you two can talk about it.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Love it, mostly for sleeping. (Keeps the nightmares away)
I mean man’s massive so of course he’s going to be big spoon. But him laying on your chest/in the crevice of your neck, you talking about something you like or just your day, and you (again) playing with his hair. Melts.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Oh god, of course he wants to settle. Can’t because he constantly has to fight god and Lucifer and just every evil thing ever. But he’d want to more then anything.
Can’t really cook, I mean he knows some of the basics. He had to make food for him and dean once in a while.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
No :3 (didn’t feel like writing this sorrrryyy :333)
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
With everything happening, with the apocalypse, it kind of slipped his mind. But once he remember? Oh hell yeah.
Probably like 2-4 years into the relationship.
(Wears the ring on a necklace around his neck)
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Don’t get me wrong he’s a big boy and he can be violent, like I’m fighting or in *other* ways, but he’s so gentle with his partner.
Emotionally, can take a while to open up, but sometimes, late at night on especially after hunting nights, you’ll be awake, you on his lap, looking at his beautiful eyes and wiping his tears away as he talks about his past and current pain.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Love them.
After killing some monster, a long and tired yet tight hug.
Hello hugs, goodbye hugs. ‘I love you’ hugs. ‘Don’t worry I’ll come back’ hugs.
Hugs from behind, head onto of yours.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Honestly depends, but probably after you nearly died in a hunt.
“Sammy, I’m alright, I’ll probably get some scars but I’m okey.”
“… okey, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
He knows you’ll shot it down the second someone tried to flirt with you. You’re loyal and he knows that.
But sometimes… a guy flirting a little bit to aggressively and won’t take the hint you spelled out too him?
He gets up behind you, death stares the guy, and arms around your waist.
“Oh hi Sammy :D!”
“Hey sweetheart, care to come back to me and dean?”
“Yeah-“
“tHeIr TaKeN, mAtE.” The creep says.
“Yeah, by me.”
If the creep still can’t take the hint, guess who has too get bailed out of jail the next morning! Wooho! Sam!
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
From him, on you:
mouth? Obviously. Quick or long make outs are both great. Speaking of making out? Weekly basis. Daylily if you’ll let it. (And if a case isn’t in the way)
Neck kisses? YES YES YES
Forehead. Protective !!!
Shoulders? Also protective!!!! A little ‘hi’ from behind.
From you, to him:
Neck kisses, instant puppy dog eyes.
Nose kisses, if you can reach that is, just. So sweet.
Forehead kisses, Again, if you can reach, so protected.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Really sweet, try’s his best, really wishes to be a dad some day.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Even if you didn’t fall asleep with him somewhat cuddled up with him, you will be.
Nearly always wake before you, probably back from his run. Mumbling about ‘breakfast’.
“Morning baby, you want breakfast?”
You, totally still half asleep, “… yeah.”
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Even if you are a night owl, if it’s hunting time, you’ll go to sleep first.
But if it’s just normal, he’ll have you lay on him. Kissing your head, watching tv till you both fall asleep.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Definitely waits, he feels like if you knew everything maybe you’d see him for the freak he seems himself as.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
Depends on if a hunt is going wrong or if he has a lot bubbling up. But I’d say he’s not very easily angered.
Well, unless someone talks shit about his family, including you. Their face will never look the same.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Really tires to remember everything. Wants to remember every single thing so that he can bring it up in conversation. So you know he’s listening.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
Anytime you had anything like a mundane or normal life. Just cooking together? Shopping for groceries? Doing chores together? All his personal heaven.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
He understands that you can protect yourself, you’re a hunter after all, but of course he still covers you whenever he cans.
Oh yeah, and chuck forbid something happens too you, everyone’s dead.
When he can, he cuddles you, hugs you, arms around you and head right on top of yours, walking around. Feeling like if anything would even try he could protect you.
I can see him thinking that he doesn’t need to be protected but saving his ass last minute will make him fall in love with you all over again.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Dates? Tries too make them special when he can, but the best you could get on the road is probably just a movie marathon or a diner date with breakfast (and hopefully no dean)
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Well, if we over look the demon blood thing, he definitely bites his nails.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Anything but his hair, he really doesn’t care for, well, of course he works out, needs to be fit for demon hunting but other then that he really doesn't care.
He really doesn’t like people cutting his hair, no hair stylist, not dear old dad (fucking John), not Dean, I think the only person, alive, he’d let cut his hair is you.
Hair holds memory’s and after losing so many people it just feel’s terrible having it cut. Like he’s forgetting them.
But with you it’s different, you want to braid his hair? Sure. Want to style it? Hmm okey. You think it look good a little shorter? Only for you.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Definitely, sometimes he goes of on hunts alone and if he can’t at least hear your voice from a call or two, expect a very clingy Sam when he gets back.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
Uses his puppy dog eyes to get anything he wants from you.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
I mean as long as your not a demon you’re okey??
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
Always a long nap after a hunt with you, of course.
Doesn't have a sleep schedule but tries to get at least 4 hours of sleep.
589 notes · View notes
foggystarrs · 8 months
Note
I loved your Glamrock headcanons! Do you by any chance have any for the DCA??
Tumblr media
Oh most definitely!! I swear they’re some of my fav animatronics from SB & Ruin tbh
Tumblr media
Sun:
☀︎ A sweetheart! He’s always excited to meet someone new. Especially if they’re a new friend!!
☀︎ He can never stay still ever, he always has to be doing something with his hands or feet, wether it’s swaying or flapping his hands in a happy stim!
☀︎ He tends to interrupt really easily, ESPECIALLY when he gets excited. Sometimes the adults get mad though, so he’s learned to hold himself back.
☀︎ He adores children, he always tries to find a way to make them feel comfy in the daycare. ESPECIALLY if the kid is scared of him at first. He knows he’s not for everyone though, so if his advances don’t work he watches from afar and places the kid’s favorite things near them strategically so that they’re still having a good time.
☀︎ ADHD
☀︎ Can a robot have Adhd?? I’m not sure but he’s got Adhd in my mind bc I have Adhd and I said so. He’s sooo ADHD coded.
☀︎ This man cannot sing for the life of him, he’s got a cute tune or two for clean up time when the kids have to clean their area but that’s it. If he tries to sing like the Glamrocks it sounds more like a parrot dying or something TwT
☀︎ Clean freak. The minute every kid has gone home this dude is running around yelling about cleaning up. Everything needs to be spotless and in the right spot or he will EXPLODE.
☀︎ Extrovert, he’s the type to adopt an introvert tbh. Like he can make almost anyone feel comfortable around him.
Tumblr media
Moon:
☾ He’s actually a chill guy. Introvert, and super shy when meeting new ppl.
☾ He’s less shy around kids though, he adores kids too.
☾ Super gentle and soft spoken. I guess it’s the nap time programming in him.
☾ A great listener, will never interrupt anyone when speaking.
☾ He likes to be suspended in the air by his wire. It’s where he’s most comfortable rather than being on the ground like Sun. He’s great at moving around in the air and sometimes does cool acrobatic tricks when he’s got free time.
☾ A stickler to the rules, well, to be fair they both are but Moon is more strict about them. He is a rule enforcer after all.
Tumblr media
Virus! Moon:
☽ This dude is a menace. He will scare the security guards and fazbear workers on purpose. Just because.
☽ Violent toward adults. Children are sometimes the exception but if you’re a rule breaker he’s putting you in… an eternal nap if you know what I mean….
☽ Anger issues. Which often lead to those violent outbursts. It started with nap time, when some kids would refuse to sleep, he would enforce the rules. After many complaints of kids getting nightmares and some even disappearing mysteriously, Fazbear entertainment decided to just stop nap time all together.
☽ Clean freak. Probably worse than Sun tbh. He HAS to clean up. Seriously, why are kids so messy? He’s still gotta put them in time out but he HAS to make sure to clean up that tower that kid just knocked down or he’ll go CRAZY.
☽ If he sees Monty it’s on sight. They’ve had beef ever since he got in the way during one of his security patrols.
☽ No seriously, like imagine two animatronics with anger issues. It will not end well.
Tumblr media
Eclipse:
☾☼ Ambivert, can be super social sometimes and super quiet the next.
☾☼ Soft spoken and very polite, he never interrupts when someone is speaking.
☾☼ He’s very attentive to his surroundings and extremely perceptive. If something’s wrong he’ll be the first to figure it out.
☾☼ Loves singing and he can actually sing, but he prefers slower melodies than those that the Glamrocks sing. Something in between a lullaby and a ballad.
☾☼ Hopeless romantic, his guilty pleasure is watching sappy romcoms. But shhh! Don’t tell anyone!
☾☼ He, like his other counterparts, also adores children. He’s great at handling both playtime and nap time. The perfect combination of both.
☾☼ He gets lonely. Like really lonely. He tries to be optimistic but the reality always crashes in late at night. It gets even worse after RUIN. The kids will eventually come back… right?
☾☼ He also has security protocols and can be extremely protective of those he deeply cares for, especially children.
Tumblr media
That’s it for them! The hyperfixation on FNAF is so real rn 😭
But I’m loving these requests!!
Thanks for reading~!
60 notes · View notes
Text
Raziel's relationship alphabet. Takes place in a post-canon universe where everything is okay. Vampire Raz, SFW, mentions of past trauma, slightly suggestive at times, cut for space.
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Raziel can be quite tsundere, the poor guy. It takes him a while to be openly affectionate. When he gets comfortable, and you're alone, he'll be clingy- latched to you in cuddling or following you around.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Raziel is a great friend, once he trusts you. He empathizes with your problems, and offers solutions if you want them. Though a lot of his solutions can be violent at times. He's always bringing little trinkets to you, like a cat dropping a half-dead animal at their owner's feet.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Raziel is a cuddler, but like I said, when you're alone. He likes to be the little spoon but won't object to being the big spoon. He also likes sitting in your lap (he's very light, worry not), you stroking his wings.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Despite his complaints about his journeys and dealing with prophecies, he enjoys the occasional adventure. But he always comes home to you. He's decent at cooking, but don't let him clean- he will accidentally make mustard gas or deadly ammonia with the cleaning products. Make him wash dishes or dust, nothing too heavy for him to mess up. Unfortunately, with centuries of having servants (then centuries of not doing any chores), he'll need to get used to the routines again.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
He goes on a long rant that leaves the partner a bit confused, but understanding that it's done. The confusion is a tactic for Raziel to get away from the situation before they might blow up on him, just in case.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
If he trusts you, he has no qualms about getting married. He lets you pick out your wedding band (in his signature red, of course) and gets a matching one with your favorite color. Wedding preparations stress him out and he'd want to be married quickly so he can sweep you off to your honeymoon... however he still does love showing off, so if you'll allow it, the wedding will be grand.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Physically, he's quite gentle, always letting you know he's going to touch you before he does. Emotionally... he can have difficulties with that. Be blunt with him, don't play games- he wants to be able to understand your intentions and what you want from him. In return, he's very honest- sometimes a bit too honest, and it can hurt. Communicate with him, he wants you to be comfortable with him.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Raziel enjoys hugs more than he'd like to admit. Once he hugs someone, it's hard to let go. It's the kind of hug you can just bury yourself in, forget about the world for a moment.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
It takes a little bit. But once he's sure you're a good match, you're not going to leave, and above all, he trusts you, he'll say it. He says it often after that, his love language being words of affirmation. He means it sincerely every time he says it.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Raziel is the KING of jealousy. He has nothing to be jealous about, but those emotions love torturing him. He never takes it out on you, he just tries his best to communicate with you to navigate those feelings.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
He loves forehead kisses, and pressing your foreheads together in a keldabe-style kiss (Star Wars). On the lips, it's perfect- his lips are soft, and warm, unlike the rest of his body. When it gets passionate, he likes playfully nipping your lips with his fangs.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Children make Raziel nervous. He does not want to adopt his own, fearing that he'll become like... well, Kain (and most children are terrified of Kain). Children are so soft, so easy to hurt. His anxiety couldn't take it.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Well, when he's got the curtains closed tight and you in his arms, your mornings are often, ah, passionate. Don't worry, he'll let you sleep after a bit.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Once his wings are fully grown, he'll be glad to pick you up and take you for a short flight in the night air, especially the season when the fireflies are out. He also likes playing board games and pulling pranks on his broodmates and on Kain (payback!).
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Once he trusts you, he'll be glad to share anything you want to know. His past is long and painful, but he thinks you knowing about it strengthens your bond. If you want to be open with him, he appreciates it and will treat any troubles or traumas you have with delicacy.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
Raziel has a lot of patience... until the moment he doesn't. In the past, he's had to have patience with his brothers. But when it wears thin, his temper is legendary. You're the only person he never gets angry at- his brethren complain about favoritism. He doesn't deny it.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Raziel has a good memory and has no problem remembering the important things. He latches onto random small things as well. He'll know the specific shade of green you don't like and keeps it to heart.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
When he trusted you enough to touch his regrown wings. Your touch was gentle, stroking the feathers and you gaped at them. He knew you were a keeper at that moment.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Protective could be Raziel's middle name. After how much he's lost throughout time, he refuses to let you fall victim to anyone or anything. Someone looks at you in a way he doesn't like, and they've practically signed their death sentence- please keep him on a metaphorical leash before he hurts someone in your honor...
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Maximum effort in everything in the relationship. He wants you to feel loved. Every day tasks... it depends. He hates doing laundry.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Not necessarily a bad habit, but still a habit- folding his wings around Kain. He does it unconsciously at this point, as after all they've been through he knows Kain wouldn't willingly hurt him again. But that trauma remains.
An actual bad habit- like I said, he hates laundry, so despite his vanity, he does the sniff test on most of his clothes, spraying cologne on the pieces that pass. Please make him do laundry, it's better in the long run.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Even as a Sarafan, Raziel was known for his vanity. He's always brushing his hair, and nowadays, his wings. He's always looking his best, and on his better days, he struts around like a peacock again.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
If you're gone for a few days, he complains but he manages. For a long time, or... forever? He adapts. He has to, he always has. It's painful, but his determination powers on, with or without you.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
If Kain were to ever evolve wings, Raziel is tempted to repeat what happened. He never would, but the thinks about it once in a while. Intrusive thoughts that he doesn't dare share with anyone.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Don't insult him, even if it's playful. He's sensitive. He also hates spiders, a fact that Zephon tortures him with. Too many legs.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
He sleeps like the dead. You can only tell Raziel is asleep because his face twitches and occasionally his eyes will flicker open then close again. It's terrifying to roll over and see him glaring at the ceiling with his teeth bared.
13 notes · View notes
magaprima · 10 months
Text
While Lilith is never soft, she can be extremely benevolent/generous. Surprisingly so for those who think she’s only ever selfish and manipulative. The actual reality is that any of her actions that are perceived as selfish or manipulative are the product of survivalism, the things she’s gone through, the things she’s had to deal with and find a way to live through, have caused those habits and behaviour to develop. E.g Trying to get Sabrina to sign the book; because she can’t fail the Dark Lord for fear of punishment. Getting Sabrina to fulfil the prophecy; again our of fear of punishment for failure and also out of a desire to finally be free of her own terrible position and get the respect she deserves. No one has cared about her situation for thousands of years, so she finds it hard to care about anyone else’s (as caring for others is, after all, taught behaviour, and considering where Lilith has been for multiple millennia it’s a testament to her character that she still has a capacity to care at all).
But despite this illusion that is created, this idea that she might be as bad as the rest of Hell, she is actually capable of extreme generosity and loyalty but only in exceptional circumstances and only with those rare few who prove themselves worthy. Like, just because she still has that capacity and inclination, doesn’t mean she’s sharing riches with everyone; you have to prove to her that your deserving of it. I don’t mean like by completing tasks or her judging you; she actually doesn’t even realise she’s weighing all this up, it comes very naturally as she gets to know someone and spends more time with them. If she finds herself impressed or liking that person, or they do something that touches her or impresses her, then they’re half-way there to receiving that generosity. 
Think about how Lucifer being so kind in the beginning, being so gentle and understanding, of their falling in love and making plans together, basically earned her loyalty for thousands of years, so much so that she even looked past when he began to change, reasoning her way around it, still being generous enough to basically give him the time of day. He had earned her love and loyalty and that isn’t easily shaken from Lilith once it’s generated. 
Those who earn her trust and loyalty will find they have a guardian/mentor/supporter for the entirety of their lives, and it’s why despite the mistakes Sabrina makes and the callous things she can say, Lilith has become loyal to her, she supports her and protects her, gives her help even when she doesn’t want to. The same would now be true of the Spellman sisters after everything they did for her in Part 4-- that’s a loyalty that will never be shaken. If that coven said ‘oh we need help, please’, then Lilith would help them without question because of everything they did for her-- saving her life, saving her son’s life, protecting them both, giving them shelter, even offering to hide them from the Dark Lord, befriending her, helping her...that loyalty is fully secured. The Spellmans, and by extension The Order of Hecate, have a friend in Lilith eternally. Which is a big freaking deal. 
But anyone who betrays or crosses Lilith will have a violent enemy for just as long. I’ve said before that she can be a personality of extremes and this is no different. Think about how once Lucifer crosses too many lines how she not only joins a coup to overthrow him, but traps him and belittles him before his court, and then eventually stabs him in the back (twice) and robs him of his power and position and gives them to herself. She went from adoring him, defending him, supporting him, to destroying him because of his betrayals and abuse. 
Lilith is not someone you would consider evil (even if she did kill a boy to raise the dead, but as I said before that’s one of those selfish-actions-linked-to-survivalism which makes her morally questionable rather than outright evil, especially within a world where even the good guys get murder-y. She does too many helpful things to be evil, cares for people too much, falls in love, feels obligations, actually freaking did her job at Baxter High), she’s not someone who wants to kill or destroy for the sake of it, she doesn’t want to end the world; every situation and person is uniquely judged by her if they come into her line of consideration. Most fall short and she dismisses them quickly, and that can mean to the degree that she won’t pay attention if they’re in danger, fatal or otherwise, but those who impress her see a side of her no one else does; something close to the person she was in the beginning, even if it is now conveyed through a veil of ancient cynicism and sarcasm and eye rolls. 
5 notes · View notes
demcnsinmymind · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
@kxllerblond​ asked: #6, #13, #15 | Questions for Problematic/Villain muses | Always Open!
6. Do they automatically assume certain people are lesser than them?
Lance: Certainly. In different ways though. He likes to do this stuff sarcastically all the time, especially in his job. He’ll shit talk other productions and professionals like there’s no tomorrow. Also people that he secretly looks up to and adores. It’s mostly done to prop himself further up and as a stupid way of showing actual respect. Because 90 per cent of the time, he won’t and can’t tell people how much he adores or respects them for the life of him. Which is funny, given how much he usually values given it to people straight.
Him seriously assuming certain people are lesser than him though? Pre!canon: not really. He’s keeping his distance from most people usually and isn’t much of a compassionate people person, but he does believe in people being equal regardless of any defining factors/groups/whatnot. Live and let live so to say. Post!canon: The second he catches wind of someone being an abuser in any shape or form, he considers them less than filth. In a way, he thought that way before canon too because it’s always bad, but he’ll have a  much more visceral reaction to that type of thing post canon. He utterly loathes evil, vile people and monsters.
Azzy: Given its chaotic nature and ‘godliness’, yes, it absolutely automatically assumes that not just certain people, but everyone and everything is lesser than it. It has no sense of kinship, worship or belonging whatsoever, so it’ll gladly regard anyone and anything as less than itself.
 13. When it comes to your muses love ones, are they the exception to their behavior or are they also treated poorly?
Lance: It depends on the intensity of the relationship. If they’re just a ‘friend’ then chances are, Lance will treat them somewhat poorly. That was fairly obvious in canon, too. In the way he treated Houston or even Matt and Sasha at times, with little regard for their feelings and fears at first. And to a lesser extend with my headcanon about his dad, where even though he loved him in his own way, he also wasn’t really there when he was sick and dying. His go to standard of reacting to things is with sarcasm and annoyance. He’s not a very loving, open and friendly person off camera and at first glance, even though that’s not entirely true and mostly a barrier he’s put up to keep people at bay.
If he cares very strongly about someone though? Like his mom for example, or people like Sasha? It’s like a 90° turn. He’ll be very kind, gentle and supportive and will not hide his affection and thoughts at all.
Azzy:
I portray it in a way that yes, there are glimpses of that with it. Obviously in my OC canon, it is very much obsessed with Lance. And he is the exception to its usual “you’re all insects” philosophy. It cares about him in its own twisted way. I’m not at all denying that it’s bad for him and treating him poorly though. I mean, taking away someone’s control and agency at times is as fucked up as it can be. However, it has its moments. I portray it in a way that it would never gravelly physically harm or torture him and would never let him die or get gravely injured. In fact, it will react violently to anyone attempting that. Also, unlike Friedkin and the 40s staff, it’s making sure that he’s at least somewhat comfortable, gets okay enough sleep and enough food and shelter. The mere basics so to say. It’s not beyond stealing stuff for him either. So it’s most definitely making some exceptions for him specifically, because it is very much interested in keeping him alive and going for it. HOWEVER. It most certainly is treating him poorly too as in that it likes to keep him suffering on a mental level so it can keep itself fed.
15. Do you think your muse needs to pay for all that they've done?
I honestly don’t. For both of them. Lance especially though. At least not in the way he was made to pay in canon. He’s obviously done some shitty things. Like lying, bribing and disregarding some very fair points from his crew as well as their safety. A fair way would’ve been for his show to flop and for him to get a good reality and ego check that way. But psychological torture? Kidnapping? Starvation and a freaking lobotomy? He did not at all deserve such harsh ‘punishment’, and I think he’s paid for a lifetime with all the physical and mental trauma he’s been put through. I also don’t think he’d deserve to go to prison for having committed a murder. He’s a victim through and through. He deserves redemption and a reward for it all instead. Especially considering the main post!canon verses where he’s actively trying to be a better person.
And even Azzy, I don’t think it needs to pay for its nature. It’s not entirely nefarious, villainous and outright evil. I’m portraying it as an entirely chaotic wildcard that does things for the heck of it and because it’s almost childishly curious and ‘delighted’ by everything. Like a toddler that’s playing with nukes. I also always like to stress that it got Lance out of his fucked up situation in my headcanon and is literally keeping him alive, even if it’s for its own parasitic needs.
1 note · View note
omends · 1 year
Text
so... I’ve been working on Kaey’s backstory. I’ve been trying my best to give everything meaning, to bring all the floating bits and pieces together in a classy way. and I think I finally found the connection I was missing, which was Illenar and Aleksey. and I’m gonna talk about that a bit, right now. please be advised, there will be mentions of domestic abuse, attempted sexual assault, kidnapping, and suicide.
so. the short version is this: Kaey made a deal with Matthias, the man that offered him and Illenar help while they were hitchhiking back to Arizona but ended up abducting them. the deal ensured that Illenar got away, and she did. and I don’t know if it was luck or misfortune but Aleksey wanted Mattias dead, and when he showed up to pull the trigger Kaey was there. but why not just kill Kaey too, right ? thats the kind of shitty thing Aleksey would do. he didn’t kill him because Kaey did something that he had never done before, and that was fight back. his perseverance and will to survive saved his life, and after Matthias was dead Aleksey took Kaey with him. of course, we all know now that it was not the saving grace he expected.
now, the long version. the meat of it. this is where it gets gritty.
when Kaey and Illenar’s mother got married to Virgil they moved to St. Louis, and very quickly Virgil ensured they were cut off completely from their family back in Arizona. it wasn’t bad at first, but eventually escalated into domestic abuse. Shanni shielded her kids, it’s what moms do, but the twins still experienced parts of it. growing up, Illenar was the social butterfly. she was fiery, passionate, and ambitious. and Kaey was quiet, lowkey, more than happy to sit and watch his sister shine. he loved both his mom and his sister, was close with both.
when they moved and Virgil started getting violent with Shanni Illenar stepped up. already Kaey was following her wherever she went, not clinging to her but staying close by, so Illenar dubbed herself the “older” sister (they’re twins) and took it upon herself to protect him. she was mirroring her mother, essentially, maybe in an attempt to prove herself, maybe as a way to direct her frustration with their situation. then, when Shanni died... Illenar got mad, at everyone besides Kaey. her grief was anger while Kaey’s grief was silence. it was cathartic for her to fight back against Virgil, to protect Kaey. because that’s what she promised their mom. she was supposed to protect Kaey, and Kaey was supposed to look out for her. Kaey was there for her, in her anger, and he was there to patch up the bruises left by Virgil, but he was devoid of emotion.
the night Virgil attempted to sexually assault Illenar the twins had already been planning to run, but if there was a moment then it was then. for the first time, Kaey got between Illenar and someone else. he told Virgil no. he threatened him with a gun, even if his hands were shaking and he was trying not to cry. he wasn’t going to let that happen to Illenar. never. and then they ran. Illenar was obviously shaken by the whole ordeal, but she was grateful, and Kaey was still silent but his fear had shaken him back into something like feeling.
they were careful, like really careful. they used the little money they had, tried to stay safe, but it only got them so far. they were waiting at a bus depot, it was raining. they didn’t have enough money for bus tickets, they hadn’t eaten in over a day. they were tired and dirty and uncertain. they couldn’t go back, but there was no way forward. until Matthias shows up. and he’s nice, gentle, kind. he talks to them, sympathizes with them, asks where they are going and... they know it’s too good to be true. they know they shouldn’t. but what other choice do they have ? when he offers to drive them to the next town they accept.
did you know that hitchhiking is actually a lot safer than its made out to be ? there’s always risks, but if you practice safety and stay aware you can do it without problems. yeah well, these are my characters, so they encountered problems. Matthias was a human trafficker by trade, maybe dabbling in some other areas, and for the most part he operated discreetly. Kaey and Illenar were an exception to his rule. they got abducted, and for once... when they already had so little hope, were already so tired, Illenar was terrified. there was no bravery left in her. she was a kid, shouldering the weight of the world, and this was the straw that broke the camels back.
Kaey has never been a loud or aggressive person, but he’s always been smart and compassionate. this was that moment when it counted. Kaey saw how scared his sister was and made a decision, he wasn’t going to let other people protect him anymore. he wasn’t going to sit by and let people he loved suffer because he couldn’t stand up and fight for himself. something broke in him, something really did. and he kept the promise he made to their mom, breaking Illenar’s, but how could Shanni ever foresee this ? Illenar resented him for it for years, even while she was trying to find him, desperate to reunite with her brother. 
he bargained for his sister’s safety. it was an easy decision, it was. this was for all the times she had protected him, taken care of him, her baby brother. she and their mother had sacrificed so much for him, and he’d done so little to thank them, at least in his head. and it would become reflex... when he met Henri, when he met Julienne. take me instead. let me suffer instead. and when Illenar was safe, he did fight. and Matthias might have killed him if Aleksey hadn’t shown up. Aleksey has always been good at finding people, and always good at killing people. Matthias begged for his life, took a bullet, and that left Kaey. and Kaey didn’t let himself flinch when that gun was pointed at him. he just looked at Aleksey. and Aleksey put the gun down, pulled him up, took him with him. fed him, clothed him, listened to his story. Kaey thought he was safe.
and we all know that he was wrong. but that perseverance... that inability to stay on his knees, is what inevitably kept him alive. his desire to protect others, to endure, would stay with him. and he would try to honor the sacrifices others made for him. when Petra killed herself to spite Aleksey she told Kaey to run, and he took her sacrifice as a chance to. when Henri helped him, clothed and fed and housed him for almost a year, he couldn’t let Aleksey hurt him. when Julienne was kind to him, treated him like a human, he kept him alive and made sure Aleksey would never be able to find him again.
Kaey will always remember Illenar’s fear. the strongest and bravest person he knew, terrified. with the odds stacked against them, he made a decision that changed their lives forever. there was no going back. there was no more protection, no more pulling punches. the world was fucked and Kaey was going to do something about it. 
and that’s the connection, folks. meaning, development, and angst all rolled into one gritty little cannoli. I love this boi. he is my son. I have been working on him for over five years, revising and revamping and being unable to decide. and now we are here. I’ve answered the question, how did Kaey go from being a homeless kid to Aleksey’s apprentice ? bruh I’m crying
literally crying. I love him s much. thank you for reading. stay hydrated folks.
0 notes
cagesings · 2 years
Text
@heygutlcss​  sent:  five  times  touched:    (  five  times  the  receiver  touched  the  sender  (platonically  or  romantically  or  otherwise!)  )  (  for  riff!  )
Tumblr media
            she  doesn’t  mean  to.  truthfully,  she  hadn’t.  the  weather  was  always  hazy,  always  gray,  always  england-like  weather.  johanna  hadn’t  known  it  to  be  any  differently  throughout  her  life.  the  only  addition  to  the  weather  was  a  brisk  wind.  clouds  roll  above,  threatening  a  storm  while  others  scurry  inside  whatever  shop  will  allow  them  sanctuary  during  the  storm.  they  should  join  them,  johanna  supposes.  after  all,  they’re  only  out  here  because  riff  is  showing  her  how  to  get  down  to  the  marketplace;  so  she  knows  where  to  go  when  he’s  gone  &  she  can  take  care  of  herself.  it’s  freezing  &  hiding  her  hands  in  her  thin  shawl  does  nothing  for  her  poor,  trembling  fingers.  she  doesn’t  like  the  feeling  of  a  coat,  it  was  left  behind.  though,  she  almost  misses  it  now.  as  another  gust  of  unforgiving  wind  blows  through,  johanna  grabs  his  hand.  it’s  out  in  the  open.  warm.  able  to  shield  the  cold  from  her  much  smaller  hands.  a  sanctuary.  
            the  moment  johanna  sees  him,  she  knows  he’s  been  drinking.  there’s  a  sigh  &  a  moment  where  she  simply  closes  her  eyes.  at  heart,  she  knows  they’re  lucky.  that  riff  doesn’t  turn  into  some  angry  or  violent  drunk.  he’s  happy.  one  of  the  only  times  that  johanna  can  learn  anything  she  wants  to  know  about  him  because  seemingly  nothing  can  tear  him  down.  she  leads  him  to  the  bed.  ❝  don’t  try  dancing  with  me  again,  alright?  i  don’t  like  it.  ❞  both  hands  go  to  his  shoulders,  as  if  to  prevent  him  from  trying  at  all.  he  might  fall  on  the  floor  again.  who  knows?  ‘  just  stay  right  there.  do  you  want  the  chair  or  do  you  want  to  sleep  on  the  bed?  ’  or  can  he  even  tell?  she  squeezes  his  shoulders.  ❝  let  me  know  &  i’ll  get  you  there,  alright?  ❞
            it’s  the  only  time  she  feels  safe  in  bed.  other  times,  there  are  thoughts  about  how  vulnerable  she  is  consuming  her  or  she  was  only  laying  down  because  he  yelled  at  her  to.  johanna  uses  his  chest  as  her  pillow.  riff  hasn’t  said  anything  about  it  yet  &  she  wants  to  hold  him  the  most  that  she  can.  as  one  side  of  her  face  leans  against  him,  johanna  looks  up  through  lazy  eyes.  it’s  been  a  long  day.  she  doesn’t  want  to  say  anything  nor  needs  to.  she  can  listen  to  his  heartbeat,  focus  on  his  breathing.  if  she  wakes  up  paralyzed,  she  can  tug  on  his  shirt  &  ask  him  to  do  the  rhyme  for  her.  it’s  better  just  to  hold  each  other  where  they  are.  that’s  always  better.  
            they’re  months  into  living  on  the  farm  when  johanna  realizes  why  he  wanted  to  move  them  to  the  countryside.  for  her.  doctors  talk  about  the  air  being  better  for  people.  she  doesn’t  trust  any  doctor,  but  she  supposes  there’s  some  truth  to  it.  the  air  is  better  out  here  somehow.  not  london  smog,  not  the  claustrophobia  of  the  port  city.  just  the  country  air.  people  like  each  other  better  out  here,  too.  or  that’s  how  it  seems.  they  talk  more  to  each  other.  gathering  for  meals  seems  to  be  the  highlight  of  everyone’s  day.  johanna  already  does  everything  with  riff.  eating  is  no  different  aside  from  how  much  she  hates  it.  as  she  gazes  around  at  all  the  faces,  she  sets  a  gentle  foot  on  top  of  riff’s  shoe,  leaning  her  knee  against  his  leg.  in  another  setting,  johanna  might  relax  her  head  onto  his  shoulder,  but  it’s  the  best  she  can  do  among  all  of  the  people.  
            ❝  let  me  fix  your  hair  -  ❞  a  laugh  breaks  her  sentence  ❝  -  it  looks  silly.  ❞  it  seems  the  whole  morning  has  been  nothing  but  giggles.  like  they  are  two  children  with  the  best  secret  one  could  have.  last  night,  there  was  laughter  too.  teasing  &  flirting.  it  was  the  first  time  they  did  any  of  that  ending  in  johanna  only  laughing.  as  she  stands  now,  her  whole  body  nearly  crumples  over  with  how  sore  her  stomach  is  becoming  from  all  of  it.  it  reminds  her  of  when  they  first  told  each  other  that  they  love  them.  it  was  nice  that  way.  a  hand  moves  through  riff’s  hair  as  johanna  attempts  to  surpass  another  chuckle.  she  fails.  her  hand  does  not  completely  leave  his  head  even  after  his  hair  has  resumed  a  much  more  practical  position.  palm  rests  against  his  crown,  fingers  still  buried  in  his  locks.  ❝  that’s  better,  isn’t  it?  ❞
0 notes
queen-haq · 3 years
Text
Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 16
Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 16
Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader
Rating: R for language and smut.
Words: ~3100 words.
Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.
Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost…
Part 1   Part 2   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 6   Part 7   Part 8   Part 9   Part 10   Part 11   Part 12   Part 13   Part 14  Part 15
gif credit: @benbarnxs
Tumblr media
Part 16
You were straddling Billy, riding him, your hips undulating atop his body. His fingers tightly gripped your waist, getting ready to take charge so you were underneath him, but you refused to submit. Instead you grabbed his hands and pinned it above his head. As you hovered above him, he arched up to kiss you but you shifted back, instead staring down at him intently. He growled at you before he rolled over unexpectedly, taking you along with him.
As he thrust into you, harder and rougher each time, you began to slide off the bed. In your new position, you caught sight of Adam on the floor. His corpse was wrapped up in a rug, only his head sticking out-
“Hey.” Billy pulled you up so you were now sitting across his lap, facing him. “Look at me. Only me.”
Only a few seconds ago he was biting you as you clawed at him, both of you desperate to possess each other. Your movements had been savage, animalistic even, but now Billy was kissing you languidly, his hand brushing the back of your hair while the other settled on the small of your back. You were directing the rhythm of the thrusts now, setting a slower pace so you could fully enjoy the feel of his cock stretching your insides oh-so-tantalizingly. Your forehead braced against his, you closed your eyes and lost yourself to the flood of emotions that overcame you.
***
It was after midnight. Billy had come home with you and both of you were in bed, you nestled against him while he spooned you from behind. Even though you were tired, you couldn’t sleep. Your brain was working overtime processing everything that happened in the last few hours. He stirred next to you, dropping a tender kiss on your bare shoulder.
“What’s wrong?” he murmured. You may have been fully alert but he sounded absolutely exhausted.
“Are you sure they’ll be thorough with the cleaning?”
“Yeah.” Throwing his arm over you, he covered your hand with his. “These guys are not amateurs. They know what they’re doing. There won’t be any traces of us left in that room.”
“And Adam’s body-”
“Will be disposed of.”
“But how do you know you can trust these guys? What’s stopping them from blackmailing-”
“’cause money talks, babe. That crew is very well paid.” He squeezed your palm. “I’ve used them in the past. No trouble yet.”
With his military career you were already aware of his violent past, but you also sensed he had a long hit list aside from that. When he’d realized your plans for Adam, he hadn’t been remotely shocked at the idea of you killing another person. In fact, as you stabbed Adam repeatedly, Billy had looked at you with such pride and reverence that it had left you breathless.
“What we did tonight, you know what that means, don’t you?”
His voice brought you out of your reverie. You exhaled a deep breath, drawing circles on his palm. “That we’re bad people.”
“No, we’re survivors. We take down anyone who gets in our way.”
“He didn’t come after you,” you reminded him. “You didn’t have to get involved.”
He turned you around to face him. “Nobody threatens you and gets to live after that.”
Your heart pounded in your chest. When he looked at you with such intensity, you were almost ready to believe anything.
He cradled your face, his thumb caressing your bottom lip. “We’re connected now. Forever. Because of tonight.”
You didn’t understand how his words could evoke such conflicting emotions within you. On one hand your stomach fluttered with excitement, he was saying things you’d wanted to hear for a long time, but then there was the fear. Doubt. Uncertainty. You forced a smile, hoping some levity would lighten the situation. “You make it sound like we’re married or something.”
Disgust flooded over his face. “Fuck, no. Marriages end. One day you’re bragging about being in love, next it’s all over. It’s not based on anything real. But we are.” He reached for your hand, which was resting on the pillow between you and him, and intertwined his fingers through yours. “I saw you tonight, the real you. And you saw me. No pretenses, no boundaries. And you didn’t run. You didn’t even flinch.”
“Neither did you.” You lifted your eyebrow. “You were rock hard.”
“I always am around you.”
His words made the heat rise in your cheeks, which he noticed right away. Giving you a teasing smile, he leaned in closer to give you a peck on the cheek. “Are you blushing?”
“Shut up.”
Billy’s eyes remained locked on you, simply staring at you with sleepy eyes. “I don’t like who I was when I thought I lost you. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t work. Every time I closed my eyes I imagined you fucking this other guy, kissing him. Even the thought of you talking to him made me want to burn it all down.”
Your heart ached at how tired he looked. Scooting closer, you started massaging his forehead. When he closed his eyes, you dropped a gentle kiss on each of his eyelids, the beauty mark just below his right eye, before snuggling him tightly in your arms. “Sleep, Billy.”
“You’ll be here when I wake up?” he murmured drowsily.
You smiled. “It is my apartment.”
He didn’t respond, already fast asleep. You tried to do the same but couldn’t; there were too many thoughts running around in your brain. You had assumed you’d feel guilty about taking a life; you didn’t. You remembered the vicious, contemptuous anger in Adam’s eyes when he’d held you at gunpoint, and how he’d threatened to kill others in your team, and all you felt was relief. Relief that he was dead and no longer a danger to you.
Billy stirred next to you, drawing your attention. You reached out to hold him, your touch feather-light so as not to wake him up. He looked calm and peaceful, unlike the haunted and distraught way he appeared earlier in the hotel room. It was still hard to digest that he’d been so unhinged at the thought of losing you. But the thing that resonated with you the most was that he hadn’t been able to hurt you despite all of the anger he’d felt. Growing up the way you had, you were always on alert for things to turn violent at any moment. One wrong comment or an innocent gesture - hell even a lone pair of sock on the floor - had the potential to trigger your father’s temper and turn things violent. During those moments his rage was uncontrollable, and as a result you always worried about how people reacted when they were furious. The fact that Billy hadn’t hit you even though he’d been completely enraged made you realize you were physically safe with him.
Maybe emotionally as well. For so long you’d had difficulty believing he could reciprocate your feelings yet you couldn’t ignore how devastated he’d been. Nor could you rationalize away his emotions. It still felt surreal but he did truly care about you, and the thought filled you with warmth and made your heart soar with happiness.
You brushed your lips against his, hoping Billy’s comforting presence next to you would help you relax. However, fifteen minutes later sleep still alluded you. Eventually you decided to do something useful and work instead. Carefully sliding out of bed so you didn’t disturb him, you tip-toed out of the bedroom. Immediately you felt the soreness in your body, an after effect of the rough sex you had with Billy in the hotel room earlier. Grabbing a nearby throw, you were soon nestled in your favourite spot on the chaise lounge, working away on your laptop.
An hour later you heard footsteps behind you and you turned around to find Billy yawning, clad in boxers, his hair all ruffled.
“Why aren’t you in bed?” he grumbled.
You scooted over to give him space to sit on the chaise but he seemed to have other ideas in mind as he took a seat behind you. You found yourself settled between his legs, your back nestled against his chest, as he caressed down the length of your arms.
“I couldn’t sleep. Figured I might as well do something useful.”
“What corporate shit are you working on?” he teased, playfully grabbing your laptop to look at your screen. You smacked his arm right away, shutting the screen and pushing the laptop away.
Billy purposely rubbed his face against the base of your neck and you started giggling at the sensation of his prickly beard on your bare skin. “Stop,” you whined. “It tickles.” you squealed loudly, trying to jump out of his arms but he held you in a tight grip.
Finally he stopped, and as you struggled to catch your breath, you slapped his arm playfully. “You’re such a jerk.”
He chuckled, hugging you tightly from behind. “That’s for ignoring all my calls since Tuesday.”
“I’m still not unblocking your number,” you retorted. His beard scraped along your shoulder, making you squeal again. “Okay, fine. Sorry!”
“Swear that you’re not gonna block me again.”
You turned around in his arms, resting on your knees as your arms looped around his neck. Smiling down at him, you nuzzled your nose with his. “Swear that you won’t act like an asshole again.”
“Can’t really do that.”
“Exactly.” He tucked your hair behind your ear. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the tender affection on his face, the warmth of his gaze spreading slow, languid heat throughout your body. “You should go back to bed. You still look tired.”
“I’ve had a rough week.”
You pouted your lips. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“Want to make it up to me?” he asked, cocking his eyebrow at you.
”How? By sucking you off?” you teased, running your fingers through his hair.
“Move in with me.”
Your hands stilled on him, finding it hard to breathe all of a sudden. At first you thought he was joking but the solemn expression on his face made you realize otherwise. You moved away, putting much needed distance between the two of you.
“That’s not funny, Billy.”
Maintaining a rigid posture on the chaise lounge, he shrugged his shoulders. “Not meant to be. I’m dead serious.”
“You know that’s ridiculous, right?”
“Why? ‘cause I wanna keep you safe?”
“The threat is gone. I took care of it.”
“We took care of it,” he said pointedly. “A threat which you didn’t even tell me about.”
“I explained that to you already.” Feeling defensive, you started pacing the floor. “You promised you’d have your guy stop tailing me.”
“Sure. As soon as I know you’re not gonna keep things from me again. You moving in will help with that.”
“So if I don’t move in, you’ll have me followed 24/7?” Anger surged through you, you were so furious you wanted to scream. “That’s fucking blackmail.”
“Relax. No need to be so dramatic about it.”
You grabbed the closest cushion you had and flung it at him, enraged by his patronising tone. “We barely know each other-”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he interjected, finally moving to stand up. His eyes were pitch black, his jaw clenched. “You and I killed someone tonight! You took my hand, my knife, and we stabbed the bastard in the heart with it, together. We fucked while he drew his last breath and now you’re feeding me this bullshit?” He stormed towards you. “No! I’ve seen your darkness and you’ve seen mine. There’s no one else in this world that knows us better than we know each other.”
You shook your head, flabbergasted by his reaction. “This is insane. I can’t move in with you. We haven’t even gone out on a real date because you said I was boring!”
“If you believe that then you really are a fucking idiot!”
You stiffened, his words ringing in your ear. Fucking idiot. Something your father used to call you repeatedly, his tone full of hate and vitriol when he lashed out at you. It started with a fucking idiot then spiralled into bitch and whore and everything else hurtful under the sun. You swore to yourself you’d never accept being spoken to like that by another person yet here you were, being insulted again by someone who was supposed to care about you.
You retreated back from Billy, careful to keep your distance from him, and leveled him with a cold glance. “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again.” 
Your voice may have been deceptively calm but there was a storm brewing inside you. You desperately needed some space. As you moved away from Billy and headed to the kitchen, he tried to block your path but you immediately pushed him away. “Don’t touch me!”
You quickly sidestepped past him and entered the kitchen, heading for the cabinet where you kept your bottle of whiskey. Pouring yourself a glass, you slowly sipped the liquid to soothe your frayed nerves and forget the memories Billy had just unleashed in you.
***
Even as the words left his mouth, Billy knew he’d made a mistake. He regretted what he said instantly, even more so when he realized how much the words had stung you. The last thing he wanted was to cause you pain but he couldn’t seem to help himself. The more he tried to hold on to you the more you slipped through his fingers.
After giving you a few minutes to calm down, he entered the kitchen behind you. You were standing in the opposite corner, drinking the hard stuff, which further signalled how shaken you were. Billy knew Scotch wasn’t something you enjoyed, you only drank it when you were messed up.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I shouldn’t have said that. It won’t happen again. I swear.”
You didn’t acknowledge him, and it hurt like hell.
“When I think about you pulling away from me, it makes me lose my mind.” He swallowed audibly, desperately trying to get through to you. “I’m all in when it comes to us but it feels like you always have one foot out the door.” He took hesitant steps towards you while your eyes still remained on the countertop, refusing to meet his gaze. “I keep fucking up but I’ve never felt this way before. I don’t know what I’m doing. I just can’t lose you, Y/N.”
“I’m not built like you, Billy,” you finally spoke, turning to look at him. “I have doubts. I’m constantly dealing with insecurities. It takes me time to trust people, and I just can’t rush into things head-on.”
“And I’m someone who hustles. I go after everything I want with guns blazing. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have Anvil.”
“But I’m not a thing, Billy. I’m a person, and you can’t push me into doing stuff I’m not ready for.”
He exhaled a resigned sigh. “I know. It’s ‘cause I get paranoid when it comes to you. You’re a closed book and you never tell me anything.” His eyes scanned yours, his stomach clenched with anxiety. “I don’t even know how you feel about me.” It was the first time he’d voiced that thought, something he didn’t even realize he felt until this very moment. You wanted him, that he knew, and you’d even confessed you loved him once but he didn’t really believe in that bullshit. What mattered to him was if you needed him as much as he did you. The idea of not having you in his life drove him insane, but did you feel the same way? He didn’t think so and it bothered the fuck out of him.
You set your glass down on the counter before reaching out to cradle his face, your soulful eyes meeting his emotional gaze. “I want to be with you, Billy. I like you so much that it scares me.”
Your words brought with them a tidal wave of relief that swept over him like a calm breeze. It was like he could breathe again. He pulled you close, his forehead against yours as he simply held you. “Don’t be scared, babe. I don’t bite.”
“That is a complete fucking lie,” you retorted. “I still have the marks from earlier to prove it.” Your smile faded again as you held his stare. “But I need you to be patient with me. You can’t bully me or get mad if I don’t want to rush into things.”
He nodded his head. “I won’t.”
“I’ve only ever had myself to rely on. And the thought of trusting you? Relying on you? It scares the hell out of me. Because there’s always a voice in my head that’s reminding me I need to go back to being alone when we end things.”
“I need to kill that voice.”
You chuckled, reaching out to loop your arms behind his back. “It shuts up eventually. It did in the hotel room when I saw how fucked up you were without me. That’s when it sunk in you actually do like me.”
“It took you that long to believe it?”
You gave him a sad smile. “Yeah. You did tell me I was boring.”
He groaned right away, regret washing over him. He should never have said those fucking words to you. “You’re not boring. You’re smart. And hot.” He kissed your left cheek. “And sweet. And funny. And mine.” Then the right cheek. “And when you lecture me about cybersecurity, I get so hard.”
“Whatever. You’re the one who wanted to know more about the topic,” you grumbled.
He grinned, giving you a tender peck on the lips. “I can listen to you talk for hours and hours-“
“Shut up.” You pressed your palm over his mouth.
Wrapping his arms around you, he lifted you off the ground and started carrying you back to the bedroom. “Forever actually, if you’re naked.”
“Not once have I lectured you naked.”
He dropped you on the bed. “Yeah, exactly. Time you start.” He jumped into bed, rubbing his beard on your face again as you started squealing.
A few minutes later you were both panting for air, staring up at the ceiling. “Just to make it clear, I’m not moving in,” you huffed through laboured breaths.
He turned to look at you, smirking. “Fine, but I’m taking you out tonight. Proper date and all.”
The most beautiful smile graced your face. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You were a ray of sunshine beaming up at him and Billy’s heart felt so full he worried it would explode. If he could, he’d freeze this moment forever.
Part 17
A/N - As always, your wonderful feedback is what keeps me inspired to write and post consistently. I was initially nervous about this chapter because the characters experience a gamut of emotions but it was necessary. I hope you like and enjoy this chapter. Feedback, as always, is very much appreciated and feeds my soul :)
Tag list:
@yourfavoritefruitybitch @voyevoda-thejoy @adreamemporium @queenmalhinewahine @gubleryum @galaxyjane @xceafh@maralisa124@tomhollandisabae @daybleedsintonightfa11 @lil-baby-nor @all-art-is-quite-useless @tanyaherondale @nashibirne @dour-trash @thetallassgirl @athenamikaelson @agent-jbarnes @primadonnasdream @aleksanderwh0r3 @elisemockingbird @nihilismworld @archisur@nemesis729 @lysawayne@kaqua @ladyblablabla @lemasonda@advictedtohim @24-martie @tarkanelima-blog @shinebrightlikeafanbase @krystal-clear1 @damalseer@dontjinx-it@darkishx @wanderlusting-about-life @thatguppienamedbae @happypepperdog @bat-revival @sassygirl25 @consulting–heroes @the-celestial-kitsune @mackaywhore @ablxssm @competitive-dust @red-head011 @exo-1204 @sunsetenigma @millieb-3199 @chatnain @licensedcheek @tinkertailor1212 @vertesalope @safetyhtom @acourtofglassandroses @eliwinchester-barnes @finnismyoriginalsin @weallhaveadestiny @beananacake @beauty-and-the-beast97 @smurfelle @fire-treasure-iii @charly-0 @kestrafagnor @pigwidgeonxo @damagelove @allegra-writes @pensandthings @jad3djay @batshitbarnes @kashimayuki @secretsthathauntus @odetostep @awesome-eccia @mackaywhore @stories-you-wont-hear @vvsdiamond28 @supernaturalcat7 @arieltwvdtohamflash @iknownoqueenbutthequeeninme​​    @devs-stufff @ticosas @moodacheeks @myakai13 @carlywhomever @fvckthisbxtchup @its-evita-here @papapapadumb @talesfrommycell @bat-luna-cat @fific7 @elluvians @dailydoseofchoices @everythinghappens-love @papapapadumb @mylife-love-and-other-things @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @ancientbeing10 @natty2245 @stuckysavedmylive @kasslucilfer @simp-for-ben-barners @originaldeputycalzoneegg @bdffkierenwalker @kimoranelson03 @sadbi-hours @haushinka27  @haushinka27    @caylaxwrites   @extraneousred​   @agentmstark​   @crazywitchkitty​   @its-an-idea-not-a-blog  @partypoison00    @fictional-hooman​   @hoglady   @helnicks    @luckyfreakfishpeach   @chiquitita18   @rachlovesactors  @icecream50055    @doloreschanal​   @lupinsfavslytherin​    @swthxrry    @wanderlusting-about-life   @dreamer7black  @leahnicole1219 @superawesomegeek @weallhaveadestiny   @toxicenough @tiiffanym  @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind @cap-just-said-language​
650 notes · View notes
ticklish-touch · 2 years
Text
My Sundrop & Moondrop headcanons
Since I’m (almost) done with my fic, I figured I’d throw some of my headcanons out there because why not
🌞 This interpretation of Sun & Moon are dead-on for how I imagine their voices & personalities. LOVE these voice actors, and the art style for them is super cute too!
🌜 Moon is much gentler during the day, but still has his harsher, more villainous personality at night, even after Vanny is gone. He feels responsible on some level for children going missing and for Sunny being afraid of him, and it frustrates him. So he takes it out on night staff (in a non-violent way).
🌗 They’re both theatrical dorks in their own right and would probably love to perform in Broadway musicals. They sometimes organize entire play scripts for the kids to volunteer and audition for.
🌞  Sunny is very childlike, but isn't stupid or naive by any means. He knows how to tackle harsher topics (children having medical & mental health needs, familial death, etc) with utmost care and wisdom.
🌜 Moon likes a lot of darker-themed media. He believes there's a unique kind of artistic merit to it, and valuable life lessons that can be learned in content that isn't entirely 'happy' or innocent. The only thing he dislikes is any media in which children are getting hurt or killed.
🌞 The idea of Sunny being jealous of Freddy in my fic is a bit inspired by JulianDraws’ villain AU for him. I fully believe that, in a scenario where this poor bot - who is already clingy and on the verge of a mental breakdown -  had zero friends and felt like he had to live in Freddy's shadow, he would absolutely become an unhinged yandere fueled by spite and an ache to fill a void in his metal heart. But we don’t gotta worry about that, right?? Right
🌜 Moon loves tickling the night staff half to death because he claims it’s a power move. He loves reducing the big tough adults into crumpled giggly heaps; mostly to feel like he has the upper hand again after everything that happened from Vanny.  But more than that, he just genuinely loves laughter. He thinks it’s adorable how easily us squishy humans crumble~
🌗 They both enjoy being tickled (though I personally don’t see them being ticklish except via like, electricity or motorized tools/equipment in Parts and Service) - Moon is just more hesitant to allow people to tickle him. Sunny enjoys more intense tickles; Moon prefers gentle to moderate. 🌞 Sun’s eyes can glow red like Moon’s. But only if someone dun fucked up real bad and like, hurts a child in front of him or if he learns of a child abuser/ pr*dator in the vicinity. 🌜 I know the commonly accepted headcanon for “uncorrupted” Moon’s eyes is that they are 1.) Blue, like his plushie, or 2.) naturally red because red-light helps people sleep. But I’ve seen a couple interpretations of him with yellow eyes (the main one being from this adorable TikTok story of the two of them looking after a small girl ), and I just really freaking love the yellow. It makes good contrast to Sunny’s color palette, and matches his stars.
Tumblr media
151 notes · View notes
hollyhomburg · 3 years
Text
Before I Leave You (Sneak Peak)
 (Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader) 
Summary: Someone always has to leave first; They just didn’t expect Yoongi to come back with a new omega (who's clearly been through some shit). 
Tumblr media
Pairing: Beta! Yoongi, Omega! Reader, Omega! Jungkook, Omega! Seokjin, Alpha! Namjoon, Alpha! Hoseok, Alpha! Taehyung, Alpha! Jimin,
Tags: Polyamory, groupsex, sexual and non-sexual Dom/sub undertones, heat sex, praise kink, brief humiliation, Spanking, knotting, breeding kink, emotional abuse, physical abuse, forced mating marks, graphic murder scenes, negative self-talk, self-esteem issues, non-verbal characters, abandonment, PTSD, hurt/comfort, gluttonous fluff, agoraphobia, implied/referenced self-harm, suicidal thoughts and brief desperate suicide attempt, unreliable narrators. Gender dysphoria, transgender characters, internalized homophobia, internalized transphobia, internalized misogyny, unintended outings, epilepsy, 
W/c: 100k+ (87k completed so far)
A/n: long time no see~ this is what I’ve been working on for the last few months! I hope everyone will like it. Updates will be once a week on fridays or saturdays at 5pm EST. This will also be cross posted on Archive of our own. 
--------------------------------------
“You shouldn’t be out here- you’ll get cold.” 
Your hands play on the bannister. In the fountain, something trickles though it’s not full. It’s too early in spring and the flowers in the garden are reluctant to burst through the ground for fear of frost. Yoongi wonders how you’re not shivering. “It’s not the 1800’s Yoongi- people don’t die just from being cold”  your revealing dress is probably something that your husband chose for you. it makes Yoongi’s blood boil. 
You look a little bit better tonight, though Yoongi can't tell if the color in your face is actually real or from the thick layer of makeup that hides the bruises. The haze in your eyes, like you’re dissociating from everything, isn’t there anymore. Tonight, You’ve got a clarity that Yoongi savors. The scar is healing well, pink and hardly notable under the line of your jaw. Yoongi wouldn’t know it was there if he wasn’t looking for it.  
Yoongi searches your face. “You misunderstand me, I said that I don’t want you to be cold, but maybe if you caught a cold- I could help you get better.”
He knows his words don’t make sense- but still you recognize what he wants to say but can’t. I could love you, I could make it better, I could care for you and only treat you with the gentleness you deserve. But Yoongi doesn’t say any of that- no- he only leans forward and offers his hands. “One dance? Before I take you home?”
Yoongi will drive you away from here- will take you and go to some gritty fast food place and get you full of however many calories your husband has made you skip. And he’ll spend the whole drive thinking about leaning across the console to kiss you. He could do it- quick. You’re not wearing lipstick and no one would know. Maybe he can’t help you yet- so starved of love that you look like a ghost. But tonight, he can surely make sure your stomach and your heart is full with the careful care that Yoongi knows he’s good at giving.
You keep Yoongi at an arm's length as he leads you in the waltz, day dreaming of a hypothetical illness, some sickness that can be fixed by a few days rest and some warm soup that Yoongi could provide. The two of you pulled together in a bed however big or small- you wouldn’t mind as long as you got to be this close. His hand on your forehead crooning, “you’ve got a fever lovely.” 
It’s a beautiful day dream, but not better than reality as he pulls you in tighter against him in your skimpy gown. It’s only to keep you warm- he justifies. And you melt into his hold. His hands are wide, warm, and better than any jacket as they cup your sides and the small of your back. You stumble on the uneven cobblestones of the garden and Yoongi heaves you up so that you’re balanced on his toes.
He spins you, going faster in the practices steps, making you giggle- a sound that he’s never heard from you and wants to hear again and again. You slow to a more gentle pace, Swaying softly from side to side. You rest your whole body against him and Yoongi holds you up.
For the first time he can smell your real scent, you smell sweet and bready, like a freshly baked cake, something warm inside on a day that the rain pours outside. You smell like cozy lazy Sundays and cupcakes. Yoongi wants to bury his face in your neck but won’t without asking.
He wonders if you like his scent just as much as he likes yours.  
Before he can ask, you pipe up. “You just had to take all the good didn’t you?” its not said bitterly, but musing. Out of two brothers, why would one have so much more softness than the other? One gentle and kind while the other is bloodthirsty and violently selfish. Why did you have to choose wrong?
“What would it be like Yoongi? If you took me away from here what would it be like?” you’re crying, barely daring to utter the words. The two of you both know from experience that tempting fate never ends well but you’ve never wanted anything so badly. 
Yoongi struggles to hold onto your happy scent. You know how much wanting something you can’t have can hurt you. Reaching out like you’re prepared to grasp the future he’ll paint for you, holding onto the lapels of his coat as you cry. Yoongi just runs his hands up and down your back to comfort you through the longing. 
Like this garden aches for rain, Yoongi aches to give, anything and everything, his heart on a platter if that’s what you wanted.
“We’d get takeout every few nights and play rock paper scissors to decide who gets to be the little spoon, we’d have a rule of no yelling in the house, I’d take you out to the ocean and make you s’mores whenever you wanted. You could steal my clothes and I’d never ever say a word about It.” 
You laugh at that- somehow, Yoongi just knows that’s something you’d do. He’s known enough omegas, he knows that courting one means you voluntarily give up half of your sweatshirt collection. He keeps speaking softer, like to whisper his wishes out loud is like trying to hold onto a shooting star.  
“And-” Yoongi takes a deep breath, tilting his face forward so that your foreheads are aligned. So close. This is the closest Yoongi has ever let himself get to you. “-I’d love you until we’d both had our last breath. I’d leave you sticky notes on the refrigerator telling you that I love you every time I had to leave. I’d never- ever let you be cold. And I’d show you my pack”
Yoongi can feel you swallow thickly at his promises- and he hopes- hopes more than anything else that they’re not empty ones. You always forget that he has someone else- that there are several someone-else’s who have Yoongi’s attention the way you do. He is the moon and you’re just something he orbits around. There are other celestial objects caught in his orbit. “What are they like? What’s it like to have a pack?” 
Yoongi tries not to let himself get misty eyed, “it’s everything, it’s love and having everyone there all around you but it’s also so much fun, you’re never alone- you always have someone to be around and it’s not even- it doesn’t even feel tiring. Even when you want to sleep you’d rather stay up with them.” Yoongi slides his finger underneath one of the straps of your dress, playing with it. “Telling you what they’re like- well- that would take me hours” 
Your laugh is pretty, and it slips through yoongi’s fingers like smoke “That sounds beautiful.” Yoongi holds you like you might be a piece of that- a piece of his pack that he hadn’t known he’d been missing. That's probably why your next words hit him so hard. 
“I wish I could have seen it. Get back to them safe alright? Do me a favor and love them like you would have loved me.”
*Part 1 Coming Friday April 9th @ 5pm EST* 
577 notes · View notes
lovely-angst · 3 years
Text
number ‘x’ fan
a/n: um, this was a good idea in theory until i started writing it and then suddenly i wanted to trash this fic lol
genre: angst to fluff
pairing: hawks x reader
summary: a trip to Hawks’ agency gone wrong when a crazed fan runs their car into a pregnant you and your two young sons
word count: 5k
05.05.21
-
If there was something the nation of Japan adored more than Pro Hero Hawks himself, it was his wife and the little family he had with her. His family was something he always talked about when given any opportunity.
To think it had already been five years since Hawks introduced you to the world still baffles you.
When he had come up to you that one day, bringing up the dreaded question of finally bringing you and the kids into the public and media for all of the world to see—you were very nervous, to say the least.
You knew how terrible the media could be with all of the gossip and drama. You weren’t sure if you could handle all of the attraction so suddenly. But your husband Hawks was always so reassuring and in the most nonpressuring way possible.
“If you’re not ready, that’s totally okay! I just thought it would be more beneficial for us if the whole world knew who you guys are,” he said gently as he brought his gloved hand towards your cheek with the softest smile. “I just want the world to finally know about my beautiful family. I don’t want to keep you guys a secret anymore.”
You couldn’t help but melt into his hand, bringing your own to rub those cute little avian features on his eyes gently. “I know, you sweet bird,” you coo, watching how his lips curve up the slightest. “I just don’t know how this could benefit us.”
“Honey, the world is going to love you. They’re going to love our boys. From the pro heroes to the supportive fans I have, we have, they’ll want to protect you too. Trust me.”
Staring up into those comforting golden eyes, you took a deep breath before nodding. Of course, you’ll trust him.
And soon, the fated day of your “debut” was finally here. In your arms, you held your sweet one year old boy, Yuto, while your three year old, Kazuto, clung onto Hawks’ legs adorably.
Though you were very nervous with all of the photographers and news outlets all around you when you turned to glance over at Hawks and saw that proud and genuine smile on his face, all of your fears washed away.
Thinking back on the memory, you let out a content sigh as a smile grew on your face. Thankfully, those last five years flew by quite smoothly with the occasional rough bumps with his angry fan club, nothing that worried you terribly.
And while life was going great for you and your growing family with Hawks, it was going terrible for a self-proclaimed number one Hawks fan.
Clutching the newspaper tightly, their eyes reread the words on the front page for the hundredth time.
‘Pro Hero Hawks shows his seven-month pregnant wife some PDA!’ with a photo caught by the paparazzi showing the two of you sharing a kiss while holding hands.
The violent grip she held on the paper caused rips before letting out an angry scream, tearing the thin material into thousands of pieces letting it pool around her like snowflakes.
Hearing Hawks’ voice coming through the television, she finally snapped out of her thoughts and tuned in focus again, turning to face the television behind her. Her eyebrow irked in irritation as she watched how he wrapped a hand around her waist lovingly and securely.
“I don’t know what I would do without her,” Hawks beams to the reporter who had asked about you, “I mean, have you seen her? She’s the prettiest lady I have ever laid my eyes on and the most amazing wife and mother to our kids!”
“People say she is blessed to be married to me, but I can say for sure I am extremely blessed to be married to her”
Roughly turning the television off, the fan stormed into her bedroom before slamming the door shut behind her, causing the walls to shake. “How could you do this to me!” she screamed as she ran up to tear at the photos of Hawks she had glued on the walls of her bedroom, causing the covered walls to become bare again. “I thought you loved me! I showed you unconditional love! I’m your biggest fan! Everything was going great until that—that wench showed up!”
Boxes and figurines were tossed around, swung off shelves, quickly turning the room into a mess of Hawks merchandise.
It wasn’t until she finally looked over at her makeshift Hawks shrine that she let out a sigh, a smile growing on her lips. “Hawks, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it,” she cooed, walking up to the Hawks shrine before kneeling down in front of it. Reaching over to brush her finger gently over the photo of the two of them—a photo she managed to obtain at a VIP fan meet.
Pressing onto the photo where Hawks stood, she continued to stare at it lovingly, “I know you love me, Hawks. I’ll make sure that it will be just us again.”
-
“Yuto, Kazuto, hurry up and get dressed so we can visit papa at work,” you say from in the kitchen as you finished preparing lunch for the four of you—five, if you include the baby growing in your belly.
“I can’t find the Endeavor doll papa gave me!” Yuto cries, running into the kitchen with tears. Turning around, you offer the boy a gentle smile before brushing your hand through his soft blonde hair.
“Yuto, we can bring the Endeavor doll another time, okay? What if he gets lost today in papa’s big work building? That would be very sad, wouldn’t it?” You prompt and Yuto looks down before giving you a nod.
“We can find him together when we get back, okay? Right now, papa is waiting for us to come see him and he’s going to show you all of the cool stuff he does! We can wear our Hawks jacket instead to match papa. Doesn’t that sound fun?” Hearing your words, the bright red wings on his back fluff up and flutter in joy before he runs back to his room in joy. “Okay, mama!”
Placing the fried chicken into each container neatly, you covered the lids on them and placed them in the bag nicely before Kazuto walks in and takes the bag, hauling it over his shoulder. “I got it, mom.”
“Oh, honey, it might be heavy,” you try, but Kazuto shakes his head, “Don’t worry, plus your belly might make you tired, so I’ll carry this for you.”
Quick little platters rang in the air before Yuto popped back into the kitchen beside his older brother, “I’m ready, mama!”
You couldn’t help but smile at how cute they were, looking so handsome, just like their dad.
“Okay boys, put your shoes on and let’s head out the door to papa’s agency.”
And it was such a beautiful day for a walk. The sun was out with little to no clouds and there was just the right amount of breeze that helped keep the three of you cool during these summer days.
Even though Hawks’ agency was just a 20-minute walk, he kept insisting on calling you a cab so you wouldn’t have to walk so far with the boys while pregnant. Of course, you declined, saying how it would be healthy for you and the baby to get fresh air and to walk around—to which he finally and hesitantly agreed on before adding a “call me when you get here.”
It was a normal occurrence getting greeted by Hawks fans on your outings like today. Most of them along the lines of, “(Name)-san! You look great today!” or “Love to see you and the boys healthy!” and not to mention, “I love you guys!”
It was sweet seeing supportive fans that your hard-working husband has.
“Ah, look! There is papa’s agency!” you say, pointing to the large and tall building, watching how your sons’ eyes lit up in awe. “Wow!” Yuto exclaims, turning over to you while fluttering his wings. “Papa works there?” 
“Yep! Let’s go and give him a surprise!” 
Walking over to the crosswalk just in front of the agency, you held Yuto’s hand in yours as the three of you waited for the signal to change to allow you to cross the road. “The roads are empty today, but we still need to watch for cars,” you point out to your boys as they began to look both ways. 
Everyone was busy at work, so no one was on the roads besides some parked cars. The crosswalk signal changed and played a tune while you and the boys began to cross the street towards Hawks’ agency to meet up with your dear husband. 
The sound of squealing tires from beside you had caught your attention and once you turned your head, it was already too late to dodge the oncoming vehicle speeding towards you and the boys. 
Gasping, you tried your best to push your boys out of the way as much as you could, but it wasn’t enough. 
The corner of the car was still able to hit Yuto and Kazuto, sending them crashing a few feet away from you. 
Unfortunately for you, the vehicle slammed head onto you. Rolling onto the hood, your head crashed into the windshield, smashing it and rolling off. A small pool of blood forming underneath your head as the car sped off. 
Your head rang as your vision slowed significantly. Turning your head, you see your boys on the ground more than an arms length away from you as they struggled to get up. 
Placing a shaky hand on your belly, you just hoped and prayed your baby was safe from the impact, but it wasn’t looking too good for you, you noted. 
It was surprising to you all the thoughts and information were able to process through your head after such an event. 
A crowd quickly formed around you and the boys as the voices began fading into the background as your conscious state was beginning to fade.
“My boys...” you say weakly to the stranger, eyes fluttering shut as your attempts to stay awake failed. “Ma’am! Keep your eyes open! Someone call for help!” 
“Get H-Hawks,” you tried once more before you succumbed to the drowsiness. Suddenly, it clicked in someone’s mind. “That’s Hawks’ wife and kids! His agency is just down the road! Someone get him!”
Kazuto slowly sat up from the rough fall, looking down at himself to spot any injuries. Spreading his wings, they seemed to be in mint condition, although his hip throbbed and his leg was slightly bruising from the impact. It wasn’t until he heard Yuto sobbing that he turned to check on his younger brother.
Yuto was beside him, face scrunched up, shaking and sobbing as his eyes met those of his brothers. “I think my wing is broken,” Yuto informed, turning to give his older brother a glance of his droopy wing. 
And before Kazuto could turn to check on you, a stranger stepped in his view, blocking him from the gruesome scene where his mother lay. “Hey there, friends, it looks like you both got a little bit hurt. The ambulance is on it’s way to take you and your mom to the hospital, so don’t worry. I’ll sit here with you guys and keep you safe, okay?” 
The two boys could only nod.
-
Hawks spun around in his swivel chair eagerly as he waited for his wife and kids to arrive. Sighing, he took out his phone for the hundredth time in the last ten minutes, glancing at the last text message you sent. 
From: wifey <3
‘Be there in five minutes! see you soon papa bird! <3’ 
But it had already been half an hour since your text. He knew that sometimes the boys took a little bit longer to get out of the house, but this was a bit off. Maybe he was just being a little impatient.
Suddenly a knock came at the door and he immediately got up to answer it, wings fluttering with excitement. But when he opened the door to find his assistant looking all frazzled, he raised a brow. “What’s up?” 
“Hawks, your family,” they stammered, out of breath from running around the large building. “They’ve been in a bad accident in front of the agency. A car-”
Before they could even finish, Hawks had spun around and jumped through a large open window from his office before flying down towards where they had mentioned. 
His eyes darted around quickly before catching sight of a large crowd. Sending his feathers down, his heart froze when he recognized you and his boys down there.
From the height he was at, he could already tell it wasn’t looking good. He could spot his boys’ wings from here, thankfully, shooting down towards them. 
He just wanted to see his wife and kids and they end up getting hit by some low life?
Hawks landed quickly at the scene before rushing over towards his boys, who immediately noticed their father’s large wings. “Dad!” 
Falling onto his knees, his hands roamed around their smaller bodies, checking for injuries before bringing them both in for a hug, relieved to see them alive and breathing. “Are you two okay?” Where does it hurt?” 
“My body hurts a bit and Yuto’s wing might be broken,” Kazuto informed before Hawks immediately checked Yuto’s wing before he let out a sigh, “Just a sprain. Don’t worry, birdie.” he replies, pressing a kiss to his youngest’s head. 
“Stay here, I’m going to go check on mom. These nice people will help you two, okay? I’m here now, don’t worry.” Hawks said firmly to the boys, giving them one last embrace before the stranger before stepped back in to stay with the boys as Hawks ran over to find you. 
Once his eyes spotted you, he felt like his heart had stopped and died there and then. 
To put it plainly, you looked dead—blood soaked clothes, unconscious and limp on the ground as the paramedics prepared the stretcher for you.
“(Name)!” Hawks called out, running to your body only to be stopped by a paramedic. “I’m sorry Hawks, but it’s best if you leave the rest to us.” 
“W-where is she going?” Hawks asked as he watched them gently place your injured body onto the stretcher, following beside them and peeking at you the best he could. “We’re going to transport her to the nearest hospital. We have to check and make sure we don’t lose the baby. We don’t have time for any more questions,” and with that, they carefully lifted you into the ambulance and drove off, leaving him there with a million unanswered questions. 
He wished he could be by your side, but right now, his boys needed him.
It didn’t take Hawks long to arrive at the hospital with Yuto and Kazuto. Reaching the emergency desk, Hawks immediately asked for you before receiving an answer that stopped his already shaking heart.
“There has been complications with her pregnancy, so they have to conduct an emergency C-section to try and save the baby,” they inform, Hawks’ blood turning ice cold.
“C-Section? But she’s only seven months along! The baby isn’t ready!” He cried, wings even more frazzled than before. “I understand your concern. That is why we will do our best to make sure the baby is as healthy as possible.”
Hawks could only stare in shock before turning to his two young boys, who looked up at him worried.
“Is mama going to be okay?” Yuto asked, his wing still drooping behind him. Hawks offered a small but weak smile, “the doctors are doing their best to make mama feel better. While they help mama, we need to get you two checked to make sure you’re doing okay,” Hawks continued, lifting Yuto into his arms.
“How’s it going, Kazuto? Does your leg hurt too much?” Kazuto shakes his head, “It hurts, but I can still walk slowly.” Hawks nods before reaching over to push his son’s hair back as the three walk to get the boys checked on.
-
“Hawks?” hear a soft female voice, Hawks quickly turned to see Fuyumi walking towards them with a small smile. Hawks quickly stands to greet the friendly face, “Thank you for coming on such short notice, Fuyumi.”
“Don’t worry about it, dad seemed worried when he told me about your situation. Anything to help a friend, right?” she says and Hawks couldn’t help but give her a relieved smile. 
“Well, these are my boys. Kazuto is my oldest and Yuto is youngest. Well, with our new baby, Miyako will be the youngest,” Hawks explains as the two boys stand beside him, looking up at Fuyumi.
“Hi,” she starts, bending down towards their level, “My name is Fuyumi, I’m going to take care of you while your mama is getting better, okay?” 
Yuto clings onto Hawks’ legs, “I don’t want to go.”
“You know, my dad is the number one hero, Endeavor. He’s kind of scary, but I’m sure he’ll teach you a thing or two about being a hero.” That caught the boys’ attention, their wings raising up. 
“Your papa is the number one hero? My papa is the number two,” Yuto says and Fuyumi smiles at him. “That’s cool, huh? Your papa and my papa must be great friends.” Yuto couldn’t help but give her a cheeky smile, scrunching up his nose. 
“Well, let’s say goodbye to your papa and let’s go to my house and we can eat, okay?” Gently taking their hands, Fuyumi brought them over to her side before the two boys wave goodbye to Hawks. 
“Take care of mama, okay?” Yuto says as Hawks gives him a wink and a thumbs up. “I’ll tell her about how cool you two were being such big boys and not even crying.” 
Hawks stepped closer towards Fuyumi, cupping his hand around his mouth, “Yuto’s wing has a sprain, so make sure he doesn’t use it and doesn’t sleep on it if he can help it. Kazuto’s left hip and leg is in bad shape and is pretty bruised, so please keep some ice on it.” 
Pulling away, Fuyumi gives him a determined nod. “Thanks, see you in a few days.” and with that, she left the hospital with Yuto and Kazuto in hand. 
Letting out a sigh, Hawks carried on over towards the waiting area while he waited for your operation to finish. It had been only an hour since he had gotten here, but it felt like forever while he waited for some sort of news. 
After some time, he finally received news, great news. 
His daughter Miyako had been born via c-section and had no underlying health issues. Unfortunately, because she was born premature, she would need to be monitored at the hospital until she was strong enough without the help of the equipment to finally go home. 
That was fine by Hawks, of course, anything to help his baby girl. 
Walking down the quiet halls of the hospital room, Hawks nervously made his way into the NICU, where his baby girl, Miyako, would be staying for some time. 
“I’m here to see Miyako, I’m the dad,” he states before a nurse leads him over to her quiet room filled with the background noises of the equipment keeping her alive and healthy. 
Gently walking over, Hawks peeked over where the little girl was being incubated, his heart swelling at the sight of his third child and first girl. 
“Can I touch her?” Hawks asked the nurse behind him gently and nervously, seeing that she was tiny and barely over five pounds. “Of course, just wash your hands with soap.”
Doing just that, he made sure to take his time with cleaning his hands and forearms before drying them and making his way back to Miyako. 
Sticking his arms into the small openings, Hawks brushed the back of his fingers across her small yet still chubby cheeks. A smile blossomed onto his lips when she stretched out from his touch and that’s when he finally noticed the little wings perched on her back.
“You have wings, baby girl,” Hawks commented as his fingers ran across her fuzzy grey wings. “That makes three of us, huh?” 
He spent whatever time he could with her talking about himself, her brothers and her amazing mother before the nurse politely told him to leave so that Miyako could rest some more.
With all the terrible things that had happened, Miyako finally arriving was a good that broke the hardship. 
Before he could visit your room, he was stopped in the halls by a detective who flashed him his badge, “we found the culprit behind this attack.” Hawks frowned at the detective, “Let’s go to a more private setting,” he replied as the two made their way into a private room. 
“What did you find?” Hawks questioned, mirroring the detective who pulled out a chair to sit in. “An obsessed fan of yours,” he simply stated, tossing out a photo towards the winged man, “found this in the vehicle she was driving when she hit your wife and kids,” I assume you recognize the girl?” 
Staring at the photo in his hand, Hawks let out a groan as he slumped back on his chair, “I should’ve never suggested bringing (Name) and the kids out into the public,” Hawks sighed.
“This would have never happened.”
-
“Keigo?” 
“What is it, sweetheart?” he hums, fixing the vase full of your favorite flowers before walking over to you and sitting in the chair that sat beside your hospital bed. 
“How are the boys doing?” you asked, rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand gently when he slipped his hand into yours. 
It had been a day since you woke up, but three days since you had been admitted to the hospital, Hawks being one of the only people you had seen, including the doctors and your bedside nurses. 
“Well, they miss you that’s for sure,” he smiles and you offer one back. “Are they injured? I wasn’t able to check up on them before I—well, you know,” you try, but Hawks shifts your thoughts away when he leans over to press a kiss to your forehead.
“Yuto just has a sprained wing and Kazuto’s a little bruised, but they’re being cared at, at the number one’s house,” your eyes widened, “Endeavor’s?” 
“Well, technically, Fuyumi is watching over them,” Hawks continues and you relax once again with a smile, “Fuyumi has always been good with kids. They must be having a good time with her.” 
“And Miyako? How is she?”
“She’s cute and small and has these cute grey fuzzy wings on her back,” Hawks says with a small giggle, “her nurse says she’s doing just fine and should be able to go home in a few weeks. They still want her to cook a bit in the incubator.” 
You smile at him before closing your eyes and resting back on your pillow with a relieved sigh, “I’m glad that they’re all okay. I miss them so much.”
Hawks brings a hand to your cheek and you open your eyes to look up at him, nuzzling into his warm and large palm, “What’s wrong, honey?” 
“I just feel like this is all my fault,” he starts, bringing his hand back as his gaze drops down to his lap, “I should’ve never asked to bring you and the boys out into the public. It was selfish of me, you guys would’ve been safer and this would’ve never happened.” 
“Keigo, it’s not your fault,” you say, placing a hand on his cheek, but your movement was restricted due to the IV needle in your arm. Hawks brings your hand down to your lap, opting to hold it in his larger ones instead. 
“We didn’t know this would’ve happened, plus it was just a crazy fan! Instead of you being mad, I should be mad because someone thinks they love you more than how much I love you!” you exclaim and Hawks couldn’t help the small smile on his lips. 
“Trust in yourself,” motioning him closer, you pressing a kiss onto his lips before a teasing smile formed on your lips “I love you more than you can ever imagine, you dumb bird.” 
And Hawks tucked your words into his heart and decided to trust himself on his next bizarre idea—visiting that crazy fan of his in prison.
Sitting in the cool, metal chair, Hawks waited patiently in front of the barrier for the guards to bring out his so called, number one fan—the person who tried to take out his whole family. 
It wasn’t until she came into view and noticed him that her eyes seemed to light up in shock and joy. Throwing herself on the chair, she grabbed the phone as fast as she could, bringing it up to her ear. Hawks doing the same.
“H-Hawks? It’s really you! You came! You really came to see me!” she cried, and Hawks did not give her a spec of emotion. 
“I’m only here to tell you a few things,” he started and she nodded excitedly. “You are a fan of mine and I adore and cherish my fans,” Hawks states, her cheeks turning rosy at his words. “I would expect you to do something as simple as respect me as a person, as a pro hero, and to respect my family—my wife and my kids.”
“I only did what I did because I love you!” she shot back and Hawks glared her down with his sharp eyes, “and because of that, I’m disappointing that you even have the nerve to call yourself my fan. I’ve blacklisted you from attending any of my fan meets or events.”
Her eyes widened before she began to shake her head in disbelief, “No, no, no...You don’t mean that! Hawks no!”
“But I doubt you’d be leaving prison anytime soon for attempted murder on three cases,” He shoots back, her sobs and wails audible through the thick barrier between them.
“But I love you!” she cries desperately, “don’t do this!”
Hanging up the phone, Hawks turned around as the wails from the unfortunate girl filled the air behind him, leaving him feeling lighter than ever.
And it seemed as if things continued to get better from thereon. 
You sat in your hospital bed excited yet nervously as the nurse carefully transported Miyako into your arms for the first time. As the infant shifted around in discomfort, you gently cooed at her, Miyako recognizing your voice. 
“Miyako, it’s mama. I’m sorry it took us so long to finally meet,” you say with a large smile as she turned to face you—her poofy and fuzzy wings resting over your arms warmly.
Hawks watched in adoration of the sight of his two favorite girls finally together in each other’s arms. Miyako no longer needed any medical assistance and you, finally bandaged and needle free. 
“Miyako’s been doing perfectly fine without any of the medical equipment and should be able to go home in the next few days,” your nurse says and your head shoots over towards Hawks’ excitedly. 
“Honey, honey,” you chirp, “We can finally go home in a few days!”
Hawks couldn’t help the chuckle and smile that formed on his lips, especially from how excited you were. You had been in this hospital for nearly a month now and eager to see your boys and to finally be home. 
Leaning over, Hawks pressed a warm kiss onto your lips before running his finger over Miyako’s plump cheeks. 
“I can’t wait to have you home and in my arms again.” 
And did that day finally come. 
You and Hawks made your way around the hospital with Miyako sound asleep in a stroller, thanking all the doctors and nurses for their help. 
And to your surprise, Kazuto, Yuto and Fuyumi were at the main doors waiting for the three of you. 
“Mama!” they cried before taking off towards you. Yuto wrapped his small arms around your legs as Kazuto, who was just a bit taller, wrapped his arms around your waist gently, pressing his face into your side. 
“My boys, I missed you both so much,” you cried, pressing kisses all over their faces, seeing them light up with joy after being separated for so long. 
“Would you like to see your little sister?” You ask with a curious smile, watching them suddenly turn timid, but slowly, they made their way to the stroller and found a little baby girl sleeping comfortably.
“She’s so small,” Kazuto notes, glancing back up at you with his proud big brother smile. “Hi, Miyako. You’re so cute,” Yuto giggles, watching her stir.
You couldn’t help but lean into Hawks at the sight. Everything was right. Even when you finally had the energy to check your phone, you were surprised to see how all the support from friends, family, and fans alike.
“The agency called and said we have like a million gifts from the fans to pick up. A lot of them are ‘get well’ gifts for you and the boys and some are baby gifts for Miya,” Hawks states with a smile and you tilt your head at him teasingly. 
“Miya? You already gave her a nickname?” you tease and he couldn’t help but look away with a blush which made you laugh. “Well, Miya is going to have the best papa bird and brother birds in the world.” 
But the feeling of being at home, away from the world and just with your family topped everything else. 
You were in Hawks’ arms, resting comfortably and watching as your two young boys watched Miyako in awe, commenting about how cute she was or how cute her small grey wings were every minute. 
“Keigo, I’m so happy,” you state, leaning into his body more as you let out a content sigh. “Thank you for everything,” glancing up, his gold eyes were already on you before the two of you connected with a kiss.
“I should be saying that to you, dove. You’ve given me a whole family to love.”
And for all the bad that had happened, being able to rest in the love of your life’s arms with your newly expanded family, seemed to wash all of that away.
645 notes · View notes
jackmfvegas777 · 3 years
Text
Trans Guy Tips #4; Socially Transitioning
Now this one is a tricky one, and it's a situation almost every trans person has to go through at some point in their life, unless they stay in the closet for life, but if you're planning to come out, and you don't know how to approach the situation and don't know how to judge if it's safe, I hope I can be a reliable guide for you on this journey.
This is usually the first step in any trans person's journey, before they physically transition, (which some don't as well). However here we're talking specifically about trans men.
So while some of the things I say could apply to trans women, always remember I'm writing about trans men from a trans man's point of view, so that's the targeted demographic here.
Once I learn more about trans women's struggles and things they go through, since I don't have the personal experience of it, I will definitely write trans women articles as well, and as well non-binary people.
So let's begin, with a list of important things to keep in mind whilst coming out to the world or at least to your family and close friends.
1. Safety is everything.
Always no matter what.
A good way to test if someone is going to be safe to come out to, is to casually bring it up in in a conversation topic, something like "What are your thoughts on lgbtq people, or specifically what are your thoughts on trans people?"
If they become aggressive and violent about it, and start being transphobic or defensive or any of the signs of bigotry, do not and I mean do not come out to them yet.
If it's a parent, I'd suggest at least wait until you're of age to move out, or have moved out, to come out to them. Sometimes people will get verbally and physically violent towards you if you come out to them and they're not accepting of it, so the most important thing is to always judge the reactions of people, and if they react well, then you can come out to them.
2. Always choose trustworthy people to keep your secret whilst you're in the closet.
There's been a lot of people who trusted idiots who they thought were their friends and they ended up outing them to the whole school they were in, etc. etc. But there was a lot of stories about this happening multiple times.
Make sure the people you tell would take the secret to their grave, especially if you're in an abusive household and can't come out for fear of violence.
3. If you're in a very abusive household, especially one that's openly homophobic and transphobic, as hard it is, please wait to come out as long as you possibly can until you have a place of your own and you're safe for sure.
A lot of people have been known to kick out their own children on to the streets because of them being LGBT, or do much worse...
Now of course these are some of the worst case scenarios, but being LGBT you always have to think about every bad thing that could occur so that you can prevent it.
4. When it comes to actually coming out, I would always recommend bringing a good friend or close family member who supports you, so that you have backup, not only for them to chime in and tell their piece and defend you, but just them being there makes the other person not want to be as violent towards you, because they fear what others will think of them.
If you're coming out to an extended family member or anyone, don't trust to do it alone, always bring a good friend.
5. One of the best ways to come out that I've seen are ways that are jokey and hilarious!
It seems to smooth over and make it a much more pleasant transition for everyone, and usually even homophobic people won't get too mad, they might even laugh!
I've seen people bake cakes with the words "Surprise I'm gay!" on it, things like that.
Just little cute things that are nice to do for your parents or people you're coming out to, but make it a surprise and that you're actually lgbt!
Now remember though, always follow the first rule and make sure safety is priority, but if you know you're safe, but you're just not sure they understand, starting out with jokes helps a lot.
6. The second step you should do after coming out is always try to explain your side of the story.
If there are people who don't let you get a word in, let them know that you have important things to say and that they need to listen to you and then they can say whatever they need.
Explain how it feels to be trans, explain why you know you're trans, of course you shouldn't have to ideally, but unfortunately a lot of people won't understand unless they're given more information, as the subject is completely foreign to them.
I know my grandma specifically reacted so well, all she did was ask me questions about it, and once I answered all her questions, she hummed in satisfaction and she never questioned it again and completely accepted me.
And a lot of times you'll get people who are pretty neutral, people who will call you by your chosen name and gender but don't really totally care as much as you want them to, but they still go along with it and just kind of assume you know what's best for you, which is a really kind thing really.
I've had a few people react neutrally and it's actually relaxing, there's no pressure put on for being gay, either over positive or over negative. but I have to say as a trans person and gay person, and grey-ace person, I love the people who ask questions the most.
I don't mind answering, and it means they're trying to learn more about something they don't understand, which means they have a huge heart and huge open mind.
Some people may get annoyed at the constant questions, but I absolutely adore them.
To me, every time someone asks about me, they're showing interest in my life and my feelings.
7. Next the scientific method.
Look up on any scientific article anywhere, and you'll find studies done on trans men and women's brains.
It was shown factually multiple times, over and over, whenever they repeated it it did it again, that trans men have the same brain structure as cis men, and trans women have the same brain structure as cis women, and non-binary people have somewhere in the middle. This was factually proven, you can look it up, so if they try to use science to defend against you, educate that that science is actually for LGBT rights and has explained how it works even.
8. Try to be gentle when it comes to pronouns.
For a lot of people, especially people of foreign languages where some languages don't have genders, or will have different genders, or other things like that, or even just English speakers that aren't used to saying 'they', or your family not being used to your pronouns yet.
It can take a while, and I know it's frustrating, it could take even a few years for them to finally get it right every time.
It's not supposed to be an attack towards you, it's genuinely hard to reprogram yourself when you think someone is one thing your whole life and then it turns out they're the other thing! So be sure to be gentle with them while they're practising, remind them every time they make a mistake, but remind them gently, as they are trying to do the right thing, they're just slipping up due to habit.
In general, be patient with non-lgbt folks, if we're mad at them, it just drives them away, rather than driving them toward us to help and assist us.
We should be grateful for our allies.
9. Once you've come out and your parents probably still have questions, I would recommend sitting down and having family night where you read together some good articles about transgenderism, and LGBT+ in general.
If they're not familiar with it, this type of education can help them a lot to understand the terminology and how to address you, and basic respect for trans & lgbtq+ people.
Overall it's a learning experience for both of you, and it would be amazing to do if they're willing to learn.
Remember that it's a journey for all of us, and everyone has a lot to learn.
10. When selecting your name, I have one piece of advice/a question for you; "Does it spark joy?"
The most important thing, it doesn't matter how odd sounding it is, or differently spelled it is, or whatever your name is, if you enjoy your name, that's what matters.
Always pick the one that calls out to you.
And it's okay to change it from time to time, people need time to figure out who they are!
And with that, I conclude my fourth part!
I hope you were helped by this in any way, and thanks for reading.
278 notes · View notes
mothra-mcyt · 3 years
Note
Is there any way we could get the safe alphabet but for smp!techno?
☾ c!Technoblade SFW Alphabet ☽
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Because of his trusts issues he's not really affectionate at first but when he really trusts you he will shower you in affection. He'll always bring you gifts in hopes of you liking it. Also gifted you a totem for when he's not there to protect you.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
The friendship probably started with Phil kinda taking you under his wing and introducing you to Techno.
Honestly he would be a great best friend. Would be very protective over you because he wants to keep you safe and not let anything hurt you.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
He doesn't really like cuddling but when you hug him once he nearly breaks down realising how touch starved he really is. Won't really initate cuddling but you'll see signs of him giving you more hugs.
He likes to be the big spoon because he likes to know that you're safe and that nothing can hurt you. When the voices are really bad tho or he's not feeling good he likes to lay his head on your chest and you petting his hair
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
He would love to settle down and stay away from all the violence and drama. He absolutely loves cooking and showing you all the food that piglins make in the nether which tastes suprisingly very good.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
He's very scared to show emotions thinking that he's showing weakness when he does. To protect himself he'll try his best to make it seem as emotionless and uncaring as possible to avoid letting you see how much this is actually hurting him.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
I feel like he's not the type to get married because he doesn't have any connections to marriage. For piglins it's more common to gift their fiancés gold jewellery and crowns instead of marriage.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
He's very gentle with you physically making sure to not hurt you because he's naturally stronger cause he's a piglin.
He's not afraid to tell you if you're doing something he doesn't like tho so he's not that gentle emotionally.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
As i've said before this man doesn't even realise how touchstarved he is until you give him a hug. Slowly he's starting to initiate more hugs himself. Will hold you tight and lay his head on your head/shoulder.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
I feel like it would take him a long time to say that he loves you because of his trust and commitment issues. But when he says it tho he does mean it.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
It depends on who you're hanging out with. If you're just hanginf out with Ranboo or Phil he doesn't really care and is happy that you're having fun with his friends. If you're hanging out with someone else tho he'll get jealous. Even worse if it's with one of his enemies.
When he's jealous at first he'll just be kinda annoyed and not say anything. If you keep hanging out with other people tho he'll start to get needy and become more clingy making up excuses that you have to leave for some reason.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
His kisses are very soft in fear of hurting you but that doesn’t mean they’re boring. You can feel his emotions flowing into the kiss making you feel like you’re loosing your breath.
I feel like he likes kissing you on the top of your hand while looking you in the eyes. When he feels like teasing you he’ll kiss you at the corner of your mouth making you pout because he didn’t give you a serious kiss
He really likes it when you kiss him on the tip of his nose and no i will not explain why.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
I- i think we know his relationship with children.
But in all seriousness at first he’s a little awkward around children and says he doesn’t really like them. It’s like when men say they don’t like cats but then their girlfriend gets them a cat and they realize how adorable they can be sometimes. 
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
He’s definitely not a morning person. Wakes up before you tho and likes to watch you sleep (not in a creepy way) because of how calm you look in his arms. Honestly just wants to keep holding you in his arms making sure you’re safe. When he goes down to make breakfast and you don’t wanna get up he wraps his cape around you to keep you warm and because he knows its smell reminds you of him.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
He honestly kinda lost his sleep schedule after not living with Phil anymore and got back to just sleeping when he feels like it. He’s still used to this because he of growing up in the nether where day and night pretty much didn’t exist.
So if he’s not feeling like sleeping but you still want him to be near you at night he’ll stay with you cuddling until you fall asleep and give you his cape as a blanket.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
I’ve already mentioned his trust issues so it’ll take him a long time to reveal things about him in fear of you breaking his trust. Also wouldn’t tell you everything once. He would do it more slowly probably starting with the fact that he hears voices. Please be patient with him he’s trying his best.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
It takes him a lot to get really angry because he knows he can kinda loose himself when he’s angry. So he’ll try his best to avoid getting angry around you in fear of accidentally hurting you.
But something where he definitely wouldn’t be able to hold back his anger is someone hurting you. We have seen how protective he is over the people he likes so when someone hurts you all hell would break loose and canon lifes would be lost.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
He would remember a lot about you. Your favorite type of flower, your favorite childhood memory, your favorite weapon to use in combat. Can he remember where he put his glasses tho? Definitely not.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
It was in the middle of the night when he stepped into his house smiling at the warmth surrounding him. Looking at the fireplace he saw a figure sitting in the brown armchair in front of it. Taking off his cape and crown he out them onto the table telling himself he’s gonna put them away tomorrow. Slowly walking in front of the fireplace he chuckled at seeing his fiance looking so calm and cute while sleeping. Taking off his boots he put them near the fire to make sure that they’re dry tomorrow.
Carefully he put on of his arms under your knees and the other at your back picking you up into his arm and holding you close to his chest. Making his way up the stairs he looked down at you an immediate happiness overcoming him.
Now standing next to his bed he slowly laid you down on the mattress. Crawling in next to you he laid down behind you and gently wrapped his arms around you. The last thing he heard was an “I love you.” coming from his partner making a smile appear on his lip before he fell into the land of dreams.
(This ended up being a oneshot oop anyway)
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
He’s a very protective person in general going as far as gifting people totems and fighting against at least 10 people alone to protect the people he cares about.
Also doesn’t back down from protecting you with words for example when someone is being a dick to you and he knows you’re scared when he’s violent he’ll defend you with words completely destroying the other persons ego.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
He puts a lot of effort into gifts and such because they mean a lot to him. Also puts a lot of effort into the food he cooks for you and always makes sure they taste and look amazing.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
He will often distance himself from you for example if the voices get really bad. Also sometimes doubts if you still love him and aren’t only with him because you see him as a weapon like the others do which leads to him distancing himself from you.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
He isn’t very concerned with his looks because of growing up in the nether where no mob cares about how someone looks. What he does care about though is his long pink hair always keeping it in a braid to prevent it from getting damaged too much while fighting. He is more used to caring about strength and muscles.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
He is very much used to living alone so if you’re only gone for some time he is pretty much fine. If he doesn’t see you for longer though he’ll start to miss you. He’ll start to miss you braiding his hair. He’ll start to miss you cuddling up to him while sitting in his lap. He’ll start to miss training for fun with you. So overall yes he would feel incomplete without you.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
He actually really likes getting pet especially at his ears. You found that out when he was laying with his head in your lap reading a book. You started petting him which started to make him sleepy. But when your hand scratched him behind his ears a blush appeared on his cheeks hearing himself starting to purr.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
He is pretty much okay with everything because of growing up with two completely different brothers but one thing he wouldn’t like is a partner that doesn’t respect his privacy and that he sometimes needs time for himself.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
You know how cats or dogs sometimes twitch in their sleep because they dream of hunting? He does that too. Also when he’s cuddling with you while sleeping will tighten his grip on you.
Masterlist
690 notes · View notes
missinghan · 3 years
Text
cold sun ⤖ han jisung
❖ genre : soulmate au; fluff; angst
❖ word count : 2,6k.
❖ warning : slight swearing
❖ summary : in a world where one will lose something if their soulmate doesn’t reciprocate their words of love once they turn sixteen, jisung is willing to take the risk so you won’t have to bear the burden.
Tumblr media
❖ note : i just realized how i always tend to write for jisung when i'm down :')) anywho this piece is a little different than what i usually come up with but i hope y'all enjoy it ♡
Tumblr media
It’s the first day of the week.
“Hey, Y/N. I like you!”
And Han Jisung is really annoying.
Those words come out so easily. It's casual in a way that makes you bury your red nose deeper into the soft fabric of your scarf, which makes your footsteps quicken unknowingly as his voice chases after you loudly. Either way, this isn’t the first time Jisung has said so. In fact, it’s become a habit for him to remind you every other day.
There’s no particular reason why. Or at least that’s what you think.
Tumblr media
It’s the end of the week. Jisung decides to hang himself upside down on your bed while you’re stressing over a presentation. “Hey, Y/N.” A cold winter breeze comes rushing against the perplexing glass of your window, shaking the frame violently before all motions come to silence.
Until, “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,” he creeps up from behind you and chirps into your ear.
“What?” you let out a groan of displease when tempting warmth embraces you whole, prompting you to drop your attention and looking over your shoulder.
Jisung pouts, “You didn’t answer me.”
“It’s because you’re annoying,” you sigh.
“Answer me when I call your name,” he pulls you in a fraction tighter, careful enough not to hurt you but firm to not let you slip away at the same time, and cradles your neck warmly, “So I’d know that you’re still here with me.”
“Alright, stupid.”
The all too familiar gummy smile returns instantly. “Hey, Y/N?”
And you can’t help but roll your eyes. “Yes, Jisung?”
“I like you,” he giggles into the hug, “I like you a lot.”
Han Jisung really is annoying.
He’s annoying because he talks too much. He’s annoying because of how he always asks for your notes after a gaming night with Felix just to nap in class. He’s annoying because he’d drop you in a heartbeat for a single slice of cheesecake from Jeongin’s mom’s bakery. He’s annoying because of how well he can get along with everyone.
Chatty, down-to-earth, easy-going with a lovable smile—attractive, very attractive.
Tumblr media
It’s the week after that. “What...happened?”
“He lost his voice,” Jeongin sighs, looking like he genuinely wants to facepalm himself against concrete while walking with an incoherent Jisung to school; expressive hands with his mouth agape and all.
You tilt your head, “...for real?”
“For real.”
After a few seconds of eyeing Jisung struggling with converting what’s in his head, you exhale deeply and quickly rummage through your backpack, “Just stop, you look ridiculous.” And he does just that, zipping his mouth metaphorically and giving you those typical puppy eyes. “Here, use this.”
His eyes light up like stars when you rip off a page from one of your notebooks and offer it to him along with a pen. Truth is, you’re expecting something as predictable as ‘I like you’ or ‘It’s alright it’s just the worst cold I’ve ever caught’. But then, what’s displayed on the piece of paper right now only baffles you.
Park is going to murder you if he sees some uglyass tear in your Ochem notes :)
A forced grin splits your lips open. “Not if I murdered you first and then the entire school and then myself.”
Tumblr media
The first genuine smile blossoms on his lips when you give him a mini-sized notepad and pencil the day after—his sixteenth birthday.
And Jisung decides this is it.
It happens when the sun hasn’t even come out yet and the irritating blue light from his phone reads 5:32 AM.
It happens when he sees your reclined figure leaning back against his mattress, his pupils tracing your delicate features. Perplexed emotions fill his eyes to the brim, fulfillment bursting within his chest when you stare right back at him with such purity. So pure that it seems you can do no harm to him and neither can he.
“Hey stupid,” you murmur quietly, shoving a notepad and pencil against his chest, “Happy birthday.”
Jisung gives you a bright smile, opens his mouth, and snaps it close mere moments later. Sixteenth birthday. Early in the morning. Tired grins. The fondness of being so disgustingly in love.
He can’t help but lean in and caves into the taste his soul has longed for as long as he can remember.
Tumblr media
Two weeks have passed since Jisung has lost his voice.
Nothing has differed if you’re being completely honest. Han Jisung is still annoying. His lack of ability to speak doesn’t appear to be a problem to him at all. He loves chatting with people even though he’s more of a listener now. But with the small notepad you gave him a few days ago, being socially active is the norm for him even now.
Thanks to his rather short-period experiences of observing people’s expressions and how their features contort in certain ways when they’re feeling certain emotions, Jisung catches onto your mood more quickly during bad days to help you release your inner turmoil by scribbling down something stupid on the notepad. It’s kinda nice like this, you’d think to yourself sometimes.
Other times, you’re more scared that you might have forgotten what his voice sounds like.
“No wonder you got a fucking cold. Stop taking midnight showers already.”
You wave Jisung over when he closes the wooden door to your bedroom, droplets dripping from his hair as he scratches his stomach tiredly. His hair is a mess when he lazily crawls onto your bed, the cushion beside you dips slightly.
His index finger pointing at his post-shower head and a shit-eating grin are all you need to snatch the white towel around his neck.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” you mumble while rubbing the cotton fabric into his hair, “But you’re awfully upbeat for someone who’s lost their voice. Can’t you at least pretend to be sad about it?”
A noise of protest escapes his throat like second nature as your eyes carefully read the quick movements of his mouth. “And can you not be so mean to someone who’s lost their voice?”
A faint smirk creeps its way up to your lips. “Still like me now?”
Jisung thinks hard for a few moments before jumping out of bed to snatch his notepad from your studying area. Of course, I like you. I like you a lot. Your heartbeat momentarily spikes at his scrawny handwriting. Just when your gaze is averted away to cool the blush on your cheeks, he tugs at your sleeve again and points at a different mess of scribbles. You’re more gentle when I’m like this. And you’d always find me if I ever got into trouble. What’s there for me to be sad about?
“Annoying little shit,” you swallow your pride and let him settle his head against your chest.
His presence melts into yours during the hardest hours of the twenty-four, heartbeats on heartbeats and warmth on warmth. Your one regret is that you’re unable to register his tears that night, only the incoherent, breathless hiccups almost as to desperately call out your name.
Tumblr media
It’s been a month since Jisung’s lost his voice. And the night when he kisses you for the second time, his notepad is long forgotten next to your pillow.
I-can’t-talk. Give-me-a-break.
Jeongin. Cheesecake. Please? Pretty please?
I’ll fucking kick you.
Wait, there’s homework?!
...so you’re telling me LMAO isn’t how French people laugh?
“This is what you’ve been doing during breaks huh…” you mumble under your breath while lazily flipping through the papers. The occasional ‘I like you’-s do pop up every two pages or so, which is more than enough to make you smile like an idiot. But that is until a peculiar paragraph yanks your attention by its neck and tosses it against a brick wall.
Mom, promise me you’re not going to cry.
He made auntie cry?!
I lost my voice for real now but it wasn’t supposed to be like that at first. I just wanted to mess with Y/N and freak her out for a day.
I’m seriously going to punch him.
She was a lot softer toward me after that, you know. I know it’s extremely selfish of me but I just can’t help being so happy. I’m sorry, mom. I really am.
Han Jisung you fucking idiot.
I was going to surprise her on my birthday by saying ‘good morning’ out loud but nothing came out. My voice was gone.
Guilt, anger, remorse take over you. You knew nothing of this. You never once questioned for a logical reason behind the loss of his voice and kept moving onward as if it’s not that big of a deal. You didn’t suspect it as a kind of prank, either. But you still care, all this time! You have been doing everything in your power as a way for both you and Jisung to treasure himself even if he can’t speak anymore.
I went to a check-up last week. Nothing came up. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.
However, without fail, the obnoxious part of you will keep wandering back to the concept of soulmates that has been engraved so deeply into the society you’re living in. It makes no sense to you that Jisung lost his voice for no reason right before his sixteenth birthday. This explains it all now.
It’s going to be okay, mom. Because I have Y/N. I know she would come running toward my side over and over again even if she can’t hear me anymore. I really don’t know what I’d do without her in my life.
Jisung knew the penalty for being the first to exchange any words of love yet he still did it. And you were too busy overlooking that stupid pride of yours to say those three words back.
It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to forget what I used to sound like. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.
Tumblr media
Jisung fixes the strap of his backpack, looking up at his mom after slipping into his sneakers. She ruffles his bed head and hands him a small white box with Jeongin’s bakery’s signature logo on it.
He tilts his head in faint confusion, peering at the box of pastry in his arms.
“Give it to Y/N on the bus, okay? Her parents aren’t home right now. You know how she would always skip breakfast when they’re out of town.”
His eyes light up instantly in realization and Jisung nods, preparing to bid her farewell. Just then, his front door comes flying open. It can’t be a mere acquaintance because there are very few people other than his parents and himself who know of the spare key hidden under the welcome mat.
As Jisung turns around, he’s keenly aware of your teary eyes already trained on him. Which in hindsight, makes no sense. As a result, panic rises within the hollowness of his chest, his lips falling agape but no coherent words come out.
“Y/N, sweetheart,” his mom flinches, slightly caught off guard, “Is everything okay?”
A scowl stretches over your contorted features as you shut the door loudly. “What the hell is this?” you question, shoving the familiar notepad into his chest. “A prank? A prank?! Do you think that this is funny?”
Jisung’s frantic eyes move to read the paper and every single color on his face drains tremendously. He easily recognizes the peculiar paragraph by how much lighter the ink is compared to the rest of the messy lines because his pen was running low and his hand couldn’t stop shaking.
Your voice.
His eyes avert back to look at you. His brows furrow timidly and shaky breaths burst from his lips almost like a desperate cry for help. There’s too much he wants to say, too many things to explain, and too many questions running through his head that he can’t process what to do next. He might just overwhelm both you and himself.
I need to hear it again.
And you might not stay by his side this time.
“Okay, don’t answer me then, I guess,” you chuckle lowly, dipping your head and turning around.
Jisung grabs at your sleeve instinctively and drops the pastry box, his gaze empty and all too knowing. Sorrow glazes over his starry eyes when it starts becoming hard to breathe properly. The outlines of his lips are moving non-stop yet nothing comes following after that.
“I don’t know what you’re saying,” you rasp out and tug at his hand. Then it hits you. He’s like this because of you. Jisung lost his voice because of you.
His mom cuts into the conversation, “Y/N, you don’t understand!”
“I’m sorry, auntie,” you smile sadly and take off running into the streets.
You, in the midst of your self-loathing and guilt, allow your feet to go wherever they want as your vision spirals into a blur. A single droplet threatens to fall when a forceful hand yanks you back to reality.
It takes Jisung a moment to regain his regular breathing pace. And when he finally gets it, all he can do is call out to you with the same inaudible sounds and the same desperation in his eyes. It seems as though he’s fully aware that the prank was the stupidest, most irrational thing he’s ever done. But there’s more to the ocean within his eyes than just remorse.
“I already told you,” you clench your jaw and slap his hand away, “I don’t fucking know what you’re saying!”
A deep sigh. “Why am I mad? Of course, I’d be mad! It’s because of me that you lost your voice! It’s because I like you, too! Yet I never said it back… You lost your voice because of me! Don't you get it? Why can't you just hate me for the sake of it?!”
You miss his voice. You miss it a lot.
You want to hear it again. You want to hear him call you by your name. You want to stay up late and talk about anything to the ends of the Earth and back with him. You want him to be the obnoxious, chatty Han Jisung you've always known.
You miss how annoyingly loud he is.
“Y-Y...Y/N…!”
Jisung collapses onto his knees, a hand on concrete while the other is on his neck. His chest rises and falls unevenly, muffled noises of discomfort echoing deep down from his throat. Despite that, what you heard just now, is his voice.
“Answer me when I call your name. So I’d know that you’re still here with me.”
“I promised you, didn’t I,” you spread your arms and smile warmly, “That I’d always answer when you call my name. As long as I can still hear you, I will come running toward you over and over again. Doesn’t matter what it takes, doesn’t matter where you are.”
Jisung lifts his head and tears come rolling down on his cheeks. His throat feels swollen when he stutters with difficulties, trying to convey what’s in his head, “Y-Y/N, don’t- don’t go! Please don’t leave me...!”
“Come here,” you close your eyes with the widest grin on your lips, “I’m not going anywhere.”
Only when Jisung grows closer and throws his arms around you, sobbing into your uniform do you convince yourself that all of this isn’t a hallucination. The hug is a lot stronger than what you’d expect. First of all, you nearly fell over from the impact and your arms are pinned so tightly to your sides that you feel like your ribs are going to snap.
Everything is so overwhelming that all you can say is, “Ow.”
“Sorry,” he mumbles into your hair and loosens his arms a bit so you can loop your hands to the nape of his neck and hair.
“You’re so annoying, Han Jisung.”
He purses his lips, sniffling, “You tried to make me snap on purpose. Meanie.”
You quirk a playful brow, “Still like me now?”
“Yeah,” Jisung smiles, “A lot.”
Because he knows that he has you. Until every last star in the galaxy explodes as a supernova, Jisung has you.
402 notes · View notes