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#they called me the best at what i do in our department and it felt like such a slap in the face to have them be all positive about maybe
cherriesformatt · 18 days
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time of the month || matt sturniolo
matt x fem!reader
summary: you get your period at work and feel like crap but you have the best caring bf ever
warnings: pure fluff, period, throwing up
word count: 1,2k
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🍒
I was in the middle of a meeting when I felt it. I got my period. What a great start of a day. After the meeting was over I went to the bathroom and realized I only have one tampon, no pads and no painkillers. Which is the worst because I already was starting feeling like crap. That's how it always is with me. The minute I get my period I start having cramps and I feel like passing out. It was only one so I had four more hours of work. I got new purse and I forgot to transfer everything from the old one to this. My period was suppose to come in two days so I wasn't ready. The worst thing is that my department is mostly man and there is no tampons in our public bathroom. I need to change that. I went back to the office and started to work. I could survive on that tampon but I really needed the painkillers. I picked my phone from my desk when the time came I could only think about the pain not on my work. I decided to call my boyfriend. I did not want to because I knew he is out with some friends filming. But he was my only other choice.
"Hi, y/n everything okay?" He picked up after two signals.
I never called him at work so he probably got worried.
"Hi, yes, I mean no I feel like I am going to die from cramps but I do not have any painkillers... and I need pads and tampons and I wouldn't call you for that but I am really in pain. I am sorry I forgot to pack everything to my new work bag" I said.
"Oh...how about you call in sick? I'll come pick you up and we will go to my place? I pick up stuff from your apartment on my way. I am sorry baby..." He said.
First day and night of my period was the worst for me. He knew that. Gladly it was Friday so tomorrow I could rot in bed.
"Are you sure? You guys are still out filming?" I asked to make sure.
"Yup, just wrapped up with Jake and on our way back you are on the speaker actually" He said.
"Oh..I am sorry boys that you had to listen to period talk" I said knowing Nick and Chris are there.
"No problem kid, sorry you feel bad" Chris said and Nick yelled from the back that he loves me and will give my all the chocolate.
I smiled.
"Okay I'll wrap up at work and will wait for you. Thanks I love you" I said and I hanged up when he said his goodbye.
They came pick me up 30 minutes later and I was already waiting in front of the building. I climbed in the back since Chris was already sitting next to Matt.
"I would switch with you" Chris said and I only shook my head.
"Hi...Its okay let's just drive home, I need to lay down" I said resting my head on the seat and closed my eyes.
"Hi... here Matt took this from your place" Nick said.
I opened my eyes and saw Nick holding water and ibuprofen for me.
“Thank you…” I took it.
I wanted to talk to them but I just felt like I could pass out any minute. I fall asleep the minute I gave Nick back the water.
“Hey… sweetheart we’re home” I felt Matt’s hand on my shoulder and heard his voice.
I opened my eyes. We were in their garage.
“Oh… sorry I fall asleep” I said.
“Don’t be silly you’re not feeling well. Do you want me to carry you? I already took all the stuff to my room” he said.
“No it’s okay” he moved so I could exit the car.
The moment I stood on my feet I hugged him tight.
“Hello” I said and smiled when I smelled my favorite scent in the whole world. Just him.
He laughed and kissed my head wrapping his arms around me.
“Hi love… let’s go upstairs,hm?” He stroked my back and kissed my forehead few times again and than my lips.
I smiled and moved away a little and we went upstairs.
I had a small talk with his brothers and than I went to take a shower and changed in comfortable clothes. When I came back into Matt’s room he was sitting at his desk. There were snack and food on his bed and my bag was next to the bed as well with target bag full of period stuff I needed.
“Matt… thank you you’re the best” I said and he smiles and stood up.
“Let’s eat knowing you last thing you ate was breakfast” he said and I made a face at him because that was true.
I felt a little better because the meds kicked in.
We ate dinner talking about our day and then Matt cleaned up and put on some movie.
I didn’t even know when I was asleep again but when I woke up the clock was showing 4 am. I was in so much pain and I felt like throwing up. I helped myself up on my arms and stood up. I went to the bathroom and just fell on my knees in front of the toilet. I did not really pay attention if Matt was up or not. But after I let everything out I felt cold towel being put on my neck and my hair was put in the ponytail. I wiped my mouth with the paper and flushed the toilet. I sat on the floor and rested my back on the shower glass.
"Baby....here" Matt gave me water in the cup and he was holding more medicine in his hands.
I opened my mouth and he helped me with it. I swallowed and closed my eyes for a second.
"I am so sorry I woke you up and you had to see this." I said.
I don't know why it was so bad this month. I always had bad periods but lately it was just like I couldn't walk and live for two days.
"Y/n its okay it is not your fault and also I am sorry that you have to feel all this pain I know I would probably die already" He said and it made my laugh.
"Yes I know you would" I said.
"Change and let's go back to bed I'll go grab the heated pad for you" He helped me up. He already brought the stuff to the bathroom.
I brushed my teeth and cleaned myself up and came back to the room. I climbed back to bed and Matt brought me close to his body. His hand slipped under my shirt and waist of my loose shorts. Not in any sexual way. He started to gently massage my abdomen.
"The heating pad is on the night stand for the nigh but it has to worm up" He said and I nodded.
"Matt I love you, you are the best thing that happened to me" I said and I had tears in my eyes. Because of the little things he did for me and him trying to ease my pain. I just wanted to cry.
"Don't cry, please" He said and kissed my shoulder.
"Im sorry its because of the hormones I swear" I laughed.
"Goodnight baby try to get some rest. I love you" He said.
I turned my head and gave him a quick kiss and he smiled a little.
"Goodnight" I said.
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fakeoutbf · 2 years
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justagalwhowrites · 2 months
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Undone
After a stressful week at the office, Joel knows just how to take care of his wife. AKA Joel Miller doms the stress out of you.
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Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: No Outbreak AU. Established relationship, husband and wife. Dom!Joel x Sub!Reader (light). Tiny little age gap (like 5 years? I'm picturing Joel at 44 and reader at 39?) Unprotected P in V sex. Oral sex, F receiving. Creampie. Overstimulation. Aftercare.
Length: 5.4k
A/N: This is totally self indulgent. It's also like... entirely smut. Sorry. But not really. OK love you bye!
Joel knew what you were after the minute you kicked the door closed. 
It was Friday and it had been a hell of a week for you. Joel had done his best to support you through it - he’d finished up one big job on Tuesday and didn’t start the next one until Monday - so he’d taken the lead on keeping the household running while you put in extra hours and came home frustrated and exhausted every night. 
He knew it wasn’t going to magically be better just because it was Friday, so he’d spent the day trying to make the end to your work week as good as he could. He went to the HEB and got your favorite snacks, picked out flowers for the kitchen table, even went by the liquor store on the way home to get everything you’d need to unwind at the end of your day. He started smoking ribs early that afternoon and was outside to sauce them when he heard the door slam behind you. 
Joel didn’t need to see what happened, he knew from the sound that you’d thrown the door open and then kicked it shut behind you. He’d bet the check from his next job that you’d be face down on the couch, your shoes and briefcase a little trail from the front door to the living room. He shook his head, taking a swig of Shiner before closing the smoker and heading inside to find his wife. 
You were exactly where he thought you’d be, taking up almost the entire length of the couch, flat on your stomach, blazer still on but your heels and bags scattered between you and the front door. 
“Aw baby,” he said sympathetically. “That great a day, hm?” 
You made a sound that was caught somewhere between a grunt and a groan. 
“Want to talk about it?” 
You made the sound again and Joel tried not to laugh at it. 
“Here,” he said, coming and adjusting your legs so he could sit beside you on the couch. You groaned as he did but he guided you from lying on your stomach to sitting up to leaning on him, your face in his chest. He put his arm around you and gave you a squeeze. “Tell me what melted down.” 
“We have our quarterly earnings release going out in less than two weeks,” you sighed. “And it’s a shit show. Legal’s been reviewing that shit for what feels like an eternity and I need to issue the goddamn release announcing the date of the full release but I can’t do that until I actually know that legal and financial are going to have stuff sorted in time and the CEO has emailed me twice a day about it the whole week because sure, the legal team definitely falls under my department…” 
Joel held the still mostly full bottle of beer in front of you and you took it from him, your fingers brushing his and you were quiet for a moment as you took a sip before handing it back. 
“Also, HR is going to be the death of me,” you continued, on a tear now. “I swear, it shouldn’t be that hard to find a qualified entry level candidate but here we are, still short staffed 10 weeks after I got the OK to hire. They’ve sent me two resumes, Joel. Two. I called them today to ask how many they’d received and they’ve had 226 candidates apply and they’ve sent me fucking two! I refuse to believe that just one percent of applicants were remotely qualified so I asked them to forward me all the applications since, apparently, recruiting can’t do their damn jobs so I’m going to have to do it for them…” 
Joel nodded along, handing you the beer periodically when he felt you getting too worked up. He found himself, not for the first time, awed by what you did for a living. He didn’t understand much of it, really, and he was thankful he didn’t need to. He wasn’t cut out for that kind of shit. You, on the other hand, had jumped in with both feet when you’d started at your company seven years ago when the two of you had just started dating, You’d risen up the ranks quickly and you now had a team of several dozen people reporting up to you. As gentle and sweet as Joel knew you to be at your core, he knew you were also unflinchingly driven at work. During the COVID shut down, he’d gotten a glimpse of it, listening to you take people - mostly men who seemed to think you weren’t as capable as you clearly were - to task and get things done. He was eternally grateful that, when the two of you fought, you didn’t take him down the way you did people who crossed you in the office. Though that stood in sharp contrast to how Joel heard you talk to the people who reported up to you, with you seemingly always happy to lend an ear or provide guidance or take the heat if they fucked something up that was going outside your department. 
Unfortunately, that meant you had weeks like this one, where plenty went wrong and you had no one to pass the buck to. And he knew as well as you did that you wouldn’t just let something fall apart, not if there was a damn thing you could do about it. Even if that meant working yourself into the ground. 
After a while you just deflated against him and he handed you the beer again. You took a long drink, emptying the bottle, and Joel took it from you to set on the side table. 
“Feelin’ better?” He asked, his nose brushing your hair. 
“Kind of,” you sighed, pressing yourself closer to him. 
“Somethin’ more I can do?” He asked, trying to make sure that he wasn’t nudging you in the direction he was hoping this would go. 
“Yeah,” you said, something shifting in your tone when you said it. No longer frustrated and fed up, instead needy and wanting. You sat up from him and looked at him through your eyelashes, practically pouting. “Turn my brain off for a bit?” 
Joel’s heart picked up, heat and tension already gathering low in him. 
“Aw, my baby need me to fuck her stupid?” He asked, reaching out to cup your face in his hand. His thumb traced along the arch of your cheekbone as his eyes locked on your blown pupils. “You need me to make that big brain of yours slow down for a while, that it?” 
“Yes please,” you breathed. He could feel your skin getting warmer below his touch. 
“Please what?” 
“Please sir,” you said, holding your hands up with your wrists together, like an offering. “Please fuck me stupid. Please sir.” 
He quirked his jaw before he smiled, dark and low.
“Good girl,” he growled. He got up and closed his large hands around your wrists before pulling you sharply to your feet, looking you up and down as he did. There was something that drove him wild, seeing you like this. Dressed in your armor of the business world, a place where lesser men had to go to you for permission to do a goddamn thing, and you came home to him, begging him to strip you down to something small and vulnerable and easily consumed. 
He wasn’t sure why you’d picked him of all people. When you’d met almost eight years earlier, his first thought was that you were way out of his fucking league. A friend of Tommy’s then girlfriend now wife, you were a few years younger than him but had clearly kept your life on the right fucking track the whole time instead of driving it into the ground for a while first. You’d gone to college, built a damn impressive career, had goals and dreams and plans for yourself. You were beautiful and smart and funny and kind and the first time he’d taken your clothes off he was still not entirely sure why you were letting him do it. 
He’d been even more surprised the first time you’d shared with him that you wanted him to take control in the way he was now. 
“I just have to make decisions all the time,” you’d said, folded into a corner of his couch with a glass of wine in your hands. “I just really want to have someone else take over for a while, you know? Not have to make any plans or take care of anybody else, just enjoy and be enjoyed.” 
That, Joel had thought, he could give you. 
It wasn’t something the two of you always indulged in but there were days like this one where you seemed to crave it. Maybe even a step beyond that - you needed it. You needed the safety of Joel’s guidance, the comfort of his control, the ease of his pleasure. He liked to give you those things. More than liked it, sometimes he lived for it. 
Today was one of those days. 
He led you to the bedroom and stood you at the foot of the bed, your wrists still firmly in his hands as his eyes searched yours. 
“You just want to be my little doll, is that it?” He asked, his thumbs brushing the inside of your wrists. Your pulse was heavy and hard. “Want me to take control so all you have to do is feel what I let you feel?” 
“Yes,” you breathed. 
“Yes what.” 
“Yes sir,” you were practically squirming. 
“What are your colors,” he said more than asked. 
“Green, yellow, red,” you answered quickly. 
“Where are you now?” 
“Green.” 
“Good girl,” he guided your hands so they hung at your sides. “Don’t move until I tell you.” 
He watched you resist the urge to nod and he slipped his hands below the lapels of your jacket, running his hands over your skin for a moment before shoving the sleeves down your arms and leaving the blazer in a pile on the floor. He watched you swallow, your throat working and he tried not to think about making you kneel and taking his cock into that pretty throat of yours. He knew just how good it would feel while you sucked him, how fucking good it would feel to come down your throat. 
Maybe later. Right now, he needed to take care of you. And that’s exactly what he was going to do. 
*** 
When Joel touched you like this, it was like something unspooled inside yourself. There had been a knot in your stomach for days at least - maybe longer - and nothing had worked to untangle it. Not crossing things off your to do list at the office, not the yoga class you’d skipped lunch to take, not the iced latte your assistant had ducked out to grab you that afternoon. But Joel’s hands on your skin as they slipped the slender straps of your satin top down your arms were better than anything else, especially when your mind wasn’t going a mile a minute thinking of ways to please him in return. You watched as he moved to undress you, his eyes heavy and hot and hungry as your top pooled around your hips. He reached around your body to unhook your bra, casting it aside before cupping your breasts in his large palms, groaning as he did. 
“You feel so good,” his thumbs brushed your nipples. “My soft, pretty fuckin’ girl.” 
“Joel,” you whimpered, clenching your hands into fists to keep from reaching out to touch him. He’d told you to stay still and you had to obey. If you didn’t, you knew he’d drag out your first orgasm for what felt like an eternity, bringing you just to the edge of it but never letting you fall into your climax until you were a desperate, dripping, squirming mess. 
“What, baby?” He almost cooed at you, just a hint of a teasing edge to his tone. “What’s my baby need?” 
“More,” you whined. “I need more, please, I need…” 
He took his hands off you then and looked you in the eye and you almost reached for him before you caught yourself. 
“Who decides what you need right now,” he said. You moaned and he ignored you. “Who. Tell me, pretty girl.” 
“You,” you said. 
“That’s right,” he nodded. “And I’ll give you more when I decide you need more and I decide I’m done enjoyin’ the parts of you I’m enjoyin’ right now. So. You stand still like a good little doll and we’ll see when I’ll let you have more. Got it?” 
“Yes,” you said. 
He took your chin in his fingers, forcing you to look him in the eye. 
“Yes what.” 
“Yes sir.” 
His crooked smile dimpled his cheek. 
“Good girl.” 
He returned to touching you, running his large and callused hands over your shoulders to your chest, holding and massaging your breasts and you could tell he was taking his time less for himself and more because he knew what it was doing to you. That it was making you achy and desperate and the thoughts that had been weighing on you all day at the office were slipping out of your mind, drifting far away into the ether. 
“Think I remember you sayin’ something about more?” Joel said, his voice low and gravelly as his hand slipped over your stomach, below the bunched fabric of your shirt, below the waistband of your pants until his fingertips were brushing your bare mound inside your panties. You whimpered. “How about I give you some more, hm?” 
His index finger reached out and brushed the top of your clit, sending a shiver through you, all the heat you had inside yourself pooling low in your stomach. 
Joel chuckled. 
“Think she likes it.” 
He pressed a little lower, a little firmer, working your sensitive nub in slow, languid circles. 
“She like this too?” 
You nodded frantically. 
“Thought I told you not to move,” Joel said, stern. 
“But…” 
“No buts,” he cut you off. “You wanted to give me control so you give me control. Otherwise, you won’t get what you want. Got it?” 
“Yes sir.” 
“You’re lucky,” he said as he went to open your pants. “Got me all worked up, too. Too worked up to draw this out the way you deserve, squirmin’ the way you are.” 
He got on his knees in front of you and gathered the fabric of your shirt, pants and underwear in his hands and pulled them all down in one go, the sudden exposure of your skin to the air making you gasp and goosebumps scatter over you in sharp little pin pricks. 
“Fuck, there you are,” he groaned, his hands coming to grip the thick swell of your ass, his fingers digging into the meat of you as he pressed a kiss to your stomach just below your belly button. You moaned, wanting nothing more than to tangle your fingers in his curls. You clenched your fists tighter, nails digging into your palms, acutely aware of where he was touching you because of the absence of him everywhere else. 
He trailed his mouth down to your slit, his tongue dipping into you there, brushing against your clit, the heat of his mouth in sharp contrast to the cold air against your wetness. His hands slipped up your back, finding your waist before Joel stood, his still clothed body so close to your naked one. 
“Lie down for me,” he said, a little breathless. “Middle of the bed.” 
You rushed to obey and watched hungrily as Joel undressed himself, his black t-shirt coming up and over his head, his jeans opening to reveal his tight boxer briefs with his thick, hard cock straining the fabric. He took off everything before crawling up the bed over you and, for half a moment, you thought he really was going to give into you that quickly, give you exactly what you wanted that fast. But instead of settling between your thighs with his heavy length brushing against your slit and his mouth on yours, he fell to the side of you, the weight of him jostling the mattress. You turned your head to look at him, confused, and he laughed, dark and low. 
“You didn’t think you were gonna make me give in that fast, did you?” He asked. He slid one arm below your ribs, his hand coming up and around the back of you to hold your breast while his other hand teased a feather light path down from your throat, over your chest, your stomach to your slit. “No, not done with this yet.” 
“But…” 
“You just lie still and let me worship you,” he said, his palm cupping your mound, his middle finger settling between your lower lips as he put gentle pressure against your clit. The tip of his finger circled your dripping entrance but didn’t slip inside where you were aching and desperate for him. “Want to enjoy you for a while.” 
He didn’t give you a chance to protest, his mouth finding just the right spot on your throat at the same moment he added pressure to your clit, grinding his hand against your most tender place and making your back arch below his touch. 
Joel kissed and licked and sucked along your neck, your collarbone, your breast, his cock brushing against your thigh as he manipulated your body and you could feel his precome on your skin when it did and you were desperate to touch him there, to feel just how hard you’d made him, make him start to unravel the way he was doing to you. 
“Don’t even think about it,” he said, a finger sliding inside of you, making you groan. 
“But I want…” 
He pulled back from you to look in your eyes and you could tell from the glassy look on his face that you probably already looked like a fucked out mess. 
“You tryin’ to make me feel good or you want it for yourself?” He asked, brows raised. You tried to find the words but couldn’t. He nodded. “S’what I thought, you sit still like I fuckin’ told you. You try to touch me and I won’t let you come, got it? This is about you, not me so you’re gonna lay there and take it, understand?” 
“Yes sir,” you whimpered. 
He went back to working you over, adjusting so that he could fully kiss down your body until his head was between your thighs, two fingers buried inside of you as he looked up your body to your face. 
“New rules,” he said, pressing his lips to your clit for a moment and sucking it into his mouth before continuing. “Want you to come and I want you to come hard. You’re allowed to touch my head to put me where you need but you do anything else with those hands and we’re startin’ over. Understood?” 
“Yes sir.” 
“Good girl.” 
He practically dove into your pussy, his thumb working your clit, his tongue licking deep into your channel. The fire in your belly burned brighter and it was like you could feel all the blood in your body pulling into the center of you. Your hands flew to his head, the thick of his hair and the heat of his scalp almost sharp against your fingers after having felt nothing but your own palms for what felt like forever. You rocked your hips against his face as he ate at you, a finger slipping into you alongside his tongue, working the inside of you deftly so that you were never empty but never lacking the friction of him moving in you. His fingertip curled into the soft, sensitive place inside of you that he found so easily now, adding the perfect amount of pressure as his thumb and nose worked your clit and you felt your pussy get so tight and hot you worried, for half a second, that it would hurt him before every worry flew out of your head entirely, your entire body flooded with waves of pleasure as you came on his tongue. 
Joel worked you through your orgasm, never letting up as you moaned and panted, your grip on his hair easing as your body started to go limp. Your pussy was so sensitive when your climax eased but Joel didn’t pay your little whimpers any mind. He pulled his mouth from you but added another finger, fucking into you with his hand and adjusting so his palm was grinding against your clit as he did. 
“There you go,” he panted, wiping your slick from his mouth before taking his cock in his hand and working himself with it. “That what you needed, pretty girl?” 
“Yes sir,” you whimpered. 
“Good,” he said, his eyes ranging over you, dark and hot. “Because now it’s my turn.” 
He pulled his fingers from you and spread your thighs a little wider, lining his cock up with your still weakly grasping hole for half a moment before thrusting deep into you in one devastating go. You gasped at the stretch of him filling you like that, the inside of you still soft and tender from your orgasm. Your fingers scrambled at the blanket below you, your back arched and taut and you tried to hold onto something - anything - in your head beside how he was splitting you open. 
“I say you could use your hands like that?” He asked, his fingers finding your wrists and clamping around them. He pressed deep inside you and folded over you, bringing your hands with him, pressing your wrists down into the mattress over your head. “Didn’t think so. You’re my little doll right now, ain’t you? Mine to do what I want with and I want you to take it.” 
“Joel,” you whimpered. 
“That ain’t my name right now, is it?” 
“Sir,” you corrected, resisting the urge to rock your hips up against him. “Please!” 
“Please what?” 
You couldn’t put words to what you wanted to ask for and Joel just smirked before releasing your wrists and sitting up, looking down over your body to where he disappeared inside of it. 
“What I thought,” he said, his hands pressing your thighs wide before his thumb trailed over where you were split open on him to your clit, teasing you in a slow circle that made you jerk involuntarily below him. He took it away, his hand on the soft flesh of your thigh again. “You leave those hands there and take it. You can take it, pretty girl. Know you can.” 
With that, he pulled back, slow and aching, before fucking back into you, hard and fast with a forceful grunt. You watched him fuck you, his cock slamming into you with enough force that it jerked your body up and down the bed. You were lost in it, the way you could see his muscles flex, the way his eyes ranged over you - watching the place he was spreading you open and the way your tits bounced for him and up to your face to meet your eyes and back again. It was almost hypnotic, like there was nothing else in the world that existed outside of him. He was controlling you totally, fucking into you with enough force that you couldn’t even breathe out of sync with his thrusts, your body just something he could manipulate and pleasure and use however he saw fit. 
You weren’t sure how long he fucked you like that before his hands ran over your thighs to your core, his thumbs brushing along your clit, pressing into you there and working you in hard little circles as your channel started to tighten around him again. 
“There we go,” he panted. “Got another one right there don’t you? You’re gonna give it to me, aren’t you pretty girl. Gonna give me everything, ain’t you?”
“Yes sir,” you whined, your fingernails digging into your palms as you fought to keep your hands still. 
“Good girl,” he pressed himself deep as he worked your clit and returned to his same punishing rhythm, the head of him finding the place inside you he’d claimed for himself. He left one thumb on your clit, his other hand stretching up and over your stomach, fingers splaying wide on you until it was in the middle of your chest where you knew he could feel how your heart was pounding behind your ribs. The feel of him everywhere was overwhelming, the tight spool of pleasure that had never fully relaxed after your first orgasm already wound unbearably tight again. 
“Want you to come for me,” he said, voice needy. “Want you to be a good girl and come. Give it all to me, baby, want you to just let go and give it all to me, let it all go, c’mon and come for me, make me fuckin’ feel it…” 
You cried out as you obeyed, your channel fluttering over his cock as he kept fucking you deep and hard. You could feel your orgasm in the very center of you, in every muscle and every nerve, your climax taking hold of you so firmly that you felt a gush of liquid rush out of you. 
“Fuck, there you go,” he said, not letting up. “Fuck baby, love when you squirt for me, such a good fuckin’ girl…” 
The wet snap of his hips into you was obscene and, as your orgasm eased, your body was already drawing tight again. Your heart raced and you could feel everything, everything, so sharp and harsh and overwhelming. Your head swam, your skin prickled. 
“Love feeling you come for me,” Joel was still fucking into you, hard and bruising like he was trying to climb inside your skin and claim a place for himself there. “Love when you get all tight and desperate, love making you all needy…” 
You let out a fucked out little whimper, tears pricking at your eyes, not able to see straight through the haze of your already building orgasm. Joel leaned over you, his cock buried deep but going still. 
“You with me, pretty girl?” He asked, his hands sliding up your arms to find your wrists, holding you gently in place. You couldn’t seem to find the words to answer, too overstimulated to think of anything beyond how he was filling you and surrounding you. “Gimme a color, baby.” 
“Yellow,” you managed. 
 He took your limp wrists in his large palms and guided your hands to his skin, resting them on his broad shoulders. 
“That help?” He asked. “You can nod.” 
You nodded quickly, your breathing evening out, body still tight and strung out. 
“Color?” 
“Green,” you said, the tears that were in your eyes slipping down your cheeks but not being replaced by new ones. 
“Good,” he shifted inside you, pulling back a little before thrusting in again. “Because I ain’t done with you yet. You keep those hands right where I put ‘em and just focus on coming one more time for me, need you to milk me dry, baby.” 
But his pace eased, less frantic and more desperate, working you slow and firm from within. He buried his face into your neck, his mouth finding that place that sent shocks of pleasure through your whole body. His hands ranged over you, fingers hungry and grasping at your skin, his hips working against your clit as his cock found its home deep within you. 
“Know you’re close,” he said against your skin, lips still close enough to brush against you as he spoke. He kissed along your neck, nose teasing along your throat. “You got one more in you, baby, I know you do.” 
“Sir,” you whimpered, pleading, not sure if you wanted to come or wanted to just dissolve. 
“You can come,” he fucked you slow and deep. His public bone pressed against your clit and your back arched. “Want you to come, want to feel you come. Make me feel you, baby. Be a good girl and make me feel you.” 
You dared to let yourself move, just enough that you could rock your hips up against him, working yourself with his body as you felt him grow impossibly thicker and harder inside you. Or, maybe, you were just tightening further around him, body clinging to him in one last desperate push for closeness as your climax hit again. You cried out with it and you couldn’t just leave your hands on Joel’s shoulders, instead latching onto his hair and sliding down his back, pulling him flush against your body so the only thing left in the world was him and his skin and the thick of his cock as he started to pulse inside of you. 
Your orgasm almost hurt it was so intense. You could feel every inch of Joel’s cock in you, the heat and softness of his skin against you, every muscle in your body going rigid and tense for a moment before relaxing. Your vision went spotty and you got light headed and you lost track of time. 
The next thing you knew, you were in Joel’s arms, cradled against his chest, his fingers trailing a gentle path along the edge of your hairline and jaw, thumb brushing the plush of your lips. 
“There you are,” he said softly and pressed a kiss to your forehead, his large hand coming to rest against your cheek as you turned your head to look at him. His eyes were soft and warm and there was a gentle smile on his face. “How are you feelin’ love?” 
You took stock of your body for a moment, everything feeling light and airy. 
“I’m good,” you smiled a little. 
“Yeah?” He said, his thumb brushing your cheek. “Take a deep breath for me, OK?” 
You nodded a little and did as you were told, only realizing then just how little your lungs had been inflating before. 
“How’s that feelin’?” He asked. “Good?” 
You just nodded, still smiling. 
“How about this for the night,” he said, going back to tracing an easy trail over your skin with his fingertips. “In a few minutes, I get up and get you water and a cocktail while you put on that pretty little swimsuit of yours. You float in the water while I look at ya and finish those ribs in the smoker…” 
“You’re making me ribs?” You almost pouted, your brows going up. 
Joel chuckled. 
“Yeah, that OK?” 
“That’s my favorite,” you said, feeling like you might be about to cry. 
“I know it is, baby,” he said, kissing your temple again. “S’why I made ‘em. Got that potato salad you like, green beans, cornbread too. Even got that chocolate cake you like so much…” 
“The Oreo one?” You sniffed, tearing up. 
“The Oreo one,” he brushed your hair back. “You still with me there baby?” 
“Yeah,” you nodded, crying a little. You weren’t entirely sure why, just every emotion you’d had over the past week seeming to bubble up at once. “I think so…” 
“You’re OK,” Joel said, pulling you closer, his lips gentle on your skin. “I’ve got you.” 
You just nodded against him and focused on how his skin felt on yours, his warmth and strength grounding while your mind was still swimming. 
“What about after dinner?” You sniffed. 
“We can watch one of those movies you like so much,” he said. “I know the ones that’ve been on your list, you don’t gotta pick unless you want to. Sound good?” 
“Yeah,” you nodded. “But… can we just stay here for a little while first? Please?” 
“Course baby,” he said. “Whatever you need. I’ll take care of you.” 
You nuzzled into his skin and breathed deep and you didn’t really know why you’d been so stressed when you got home to begin with. You just knew that you had Joel and that, as long as he was there, everything else would be OK.
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xxchumanixx · 2 months
Note
Okay, Tim Bradford x reader, but the reader is a police captain and becomes the captain of the mid-wilshire division after Zoë and that one dude. They are married, and the reader is expecting?
It's Captain, baby
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Tim Bradford x wife!reader
Warnings/Tags: fluff, Tim being a little grumpy Word count: 879 Authors note: Hello love, thanks for the request! I hope you like it. It was very fun to write and I really like the idea!
Enjoy!
It was meant as a surprise - really.
He knew you wanted to become a captain one day, so when the LAPD asked if you wanted to become the captain of mid wilshire, you instantly said yes.
That you'd be the captain of your own husband, slipped your mind in said moment, though.
You decided not to tell him 'for now', pushing the matter further and further away, until there was no further anymore - until the day you were supposed to start as captain.
Maybe it wasn't the best idea, risking that he'd have a heart attack or get mad, when he saw you - especially considering that you were six months pregnant, and your new position meant stress and pressure - something you weren't supposed to have until in at least about three months, when you were in labor.
Biting your lip and rocking on your heels, you nervously waited for Sergeant Grey to announce you.
The moment he'd say your name, Tim would find out - and he wouldn't like that you refrained from telling him beforehand.
But he was a professional - he wouldn't let you see any emotion on his face during roll call - no, he would tell you how he felt in detail afterwards, giving you an even more guilty conscience.
"And now, I'm happy to introduce our new captain: Y/N Bradford! Please give her a warm welcome." Grey announced, causing your heart to miss a beat, as your hands doubled their sweating.
Taking a deep breath, you entered the room, trying to avoid Tim's face - which, despite your supposition, showed the slightest bit of shock and anger - as you made your way to the pult.
Forcing yourself to smile at the numerous people applauding you, you braced yourself for the speech you had prepared.
"Hello, for those who don't know me yet, my name's Y/N Bradford - yes, I'm sergeant Bradford's wife, and yes, I am pregnant." you started nervously.
A fit of quiet laughter echoed through the crowd, lifting some of the weight off your shoulders.
"I'm proud to call myself captain of the mid Wilshire department." you continued, nodding slightly. "I started here as a rookie, thinking that I knew everything and could do everything. But I didn't - which is an important thing to realize. We're all here for one goal: the safety of our city."
Your eyes briefly found Tim's, his jaw clenched. He looked straight back at you, not even blinking.
"But that means, that we have to learn a lot, especially about ourselves. I know how hard you work for this goal, and I know what it takes to do so. I once was where you are now, and I will have your backs, no matter what. If there's something you wanna talk about - let me know. I'm here to support you, and it's an honor to be your captain. That's it."
They applauded again, causing your cheeks to turn pinkish. Your heart beat fastened in your chest, hands trembling a little, as you smiled at them.
They were your people now, they counted on you, and you'd do everything in your power, to never let them down.
When the room cleared, Tim was the only one still sitting with his arms crossed over his chest.
He was clearly angry.
Taking a shaky breath, you walked over to him, preparing yourself for his speech.
He stayed silent for a couple more moments, just staring at you, before he stood, hands on the table as he leaned towards you.
"Did you even plan to tell me at all?" he wanted to know, brows furrowed. It took all his might not to get too loud, trying to look calmer than he was as well.
His colleagues didn't need to know that he was angry - fuming even.
"Did you think about our baby? What if it's too dangerous - not to mention the stress! Why didn't you tell me beforehand?"
"I did want to tell you." you stated, biting your lip. "But I didn't know how to. I wanted to surprise you, but I pushed it further and further away. I thought it all through, and I'm gonna take it slow - no harm for the baby. Imagine my surprise when they asked me to become their captain - me of all people!"
He bit his lip as well, the corners of his mouth twitching treacherously. At least he wouldn't stay angry at you for long.
"Are you happy?" he wanted to know, glancing at your belly. It was getting harder each day to find something that covered it up at least a little.
Nodding, you pressed out a dry laugh. "I am, but I'm scared as shit." you admitted, causing the crinkles around his eyes to deepen.
"I mean, I wanted to become a captain for so long, but - how to captain? How does this work? It's like my mind suddenly just went blank."
He chuckled, keeping himself from kissing you in front of the curious eyes watching you - didn't they have any work to do?
"I'm glad you like it, baby." he said honestly, his lips wide in a proud smile, as you huffed, cocking a brow.
"It's Captain, baby."
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neonghostlights · 5 months
Text
Series masterlist here
Part four
“We need to talk about what happened earlier in your shift today,” the director of medical staff, Dr. O’Driscoll, said after a long moment of staring at your file with scrutinizing eyes.
Medical school was hard, landing a residency was hard, trying to get people to take you seriously as a young doctor was even harder.
You nodded, not wanting to speak yet as you thought of the shit that went down today.
“I can explain,” you said as the attending you had been working under in the Emergency room, Dr. Hart, let out a scoff.
“Explain please,” Dr. O’Driscoll urged impatiently, upset that he had to come in early to clean up this mess.
“I was assigned to the patient in room twenty three. She was complaining of chest pain and it was discovered in triage that she has elevated blood pressure and heart rate so I went to examine the patient and ordered an EKG some labs rule out a heart attack-“
“Cut to the chase,” Dr. Hart snapped.
Dr. O’Driscoll nodded for you to continue.
You took a deep breath. “So, I went in to the see the patient and do what I just said and when I went to listen to her breath sounds she grabbed me.”
“She grabbed you?” Dr. O’Driscoll asked with a raised brow.
“Yes sir. She grabbed me and started screaming,” you said shakily, remembering how it had felt in the moment before you were finally out of her grasp.
She kept screaming that you didn’t deserve Eddie, but you weren’t going to willingly share that information with the people before you.
“Am I really being called in here to discuss this? Being assaulted by a patient does not warrant demanding a meeting with me, Dr. Hart, and it surely doesn’t warrant you demanding I call our legal department,” Dr. O’Driscoll said firmly, turning red in his cheeks from his anger. He had much better things to do than deal with this.
“Well,” Dr. Hart said slyly as he reached under his lab coat and pulled out an item that you wished only haunted you in nightmares. “Sir, I am afraid she is not sharing the whole truth with you. It seems that she has landed herself into quite a bit of trouble and this hospital has been caught in the crossfire.”
He laid the magazine on the table but instead of there just being one there was two. The new magazine had a picture of you walking from the car to the grocery store.
Who is Eddie Munsons unknown ex? Insider source tells all!
Dr. O’Driscoll flipped through both magazines.
“As you can see. They have a photo of her walking out of this hospital and quite a bit of information about her life. This hospital is about to become a circus. We’re going to have crazy fans like the one earlier all over the place!” Dr. Hart said as he jabbed a finger into the table infront of him.
Dr. O’Driscoll said nothing as he set down the magazines and dialed a phone number on his desk phone.
You felt violated, ruined as you stared at the photo in front of you. How many pictures had they caught of you when you weren’t paying attention? And how much information about you was debuted in the magazine for the world to see.
“So you already know? And how should we proceed?” Dr. O’Driscoll asked into the phone.
He let out a few noises to let them know he understood and then hung the phone up with out saying goodbye.
He took a deep breath and rubbed his brow. “So, reporters have been caught wandering the hospital asking for information on you and unknown people have been calling multiple units around the hospital either asking for you, threatening you, or saying some colorful words before hanging up.”
You felt your body start to shake.
“We have decided that the best course of action is to have you take paid leave until legal determines this has blown over enough for you to come back. We’ll be in touch with you.”
You stood up from the chair after muttering that you understood and walked numbly to the elevator.
The only thought echoing your head was how much you hated Eddie Munson.
-
Eddie shifted in his seat again and again.
He had gotten used to flying by now. He felt like he pretty much lived on the airplane with as much as he flew.
He heard the announcement overhead. They would be landing soon.
He felt a rush of nerves and excitement and his body practically vibrated with everything confusing that was rushing through his mind. He had gone back and forth on this but ultimately he found himself booking the first flight out of LA.
As he buckled the seatbelt and prepared for landing all he could think about was how he couldn’t wait to see you.
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mrs-kodzuken · 4 months
Note
Can I have a timeskip!Ushijima comfort fic? Like Ushi doesn't understand the concept of skinship like holding hands and hugs so he often shrugs off reader's attempts in skinships, which of course made reader feel sad ㅠㅠ
Thank you and have a nice day! <3
Understanding you ♡
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Pairing: Aged up! Wakatoshi Ushijima x fem!reader
WC: 1.6k
Genre: slight angst to comfort/fluff
CW: fem!reader, inexperienced in relationships!Wakatoshi, slight angst from ushi :( , fluff and comfort all in the end :)) , maybe some self deprecation from reader, best friends with tendou, communication is always key
note: thank you for requesting this! I hope it’s up to your expectations, sugar!! <3
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
Being the girlfriend of the Wakatoshi Ushijima was something I didn’t expect would hurt this much. As his girlfriend, I understood the importance of volleyball since it quite literally is his career path. However, being in a relationship is a whole other aspect to think about.
There never really was anything that really stood out to me about his wrongdoings. He always made it to every dinner plan, he didn’t forget the classic month to month anniversaries, he seemed like he was just a gift from heaven.
I knew it was too good to be true when I realized we, or I, was severely lacking in the physical department of our relationship.
Ushijima and I never really got closer within touching or skin-ship distance. That really sucked for me and hurt my feelings since he aced every other aspect of our relationship, no pun intended.
I wasn’t sure if he was just uncomfortable with touching me or if he had some kind of weird feeling about touching me. However, with physical touch being my number one priority of love language I wasn’t sure how to go about telling him my feelings.
Giving Wakatoshi free rein to plan out his schedule, except for date nights, was a must. He is a grown man and I’m not his mother, but I always felt bad when there was something important, like this, to be talked about.
I couldn’t help but to bite my lip as I stared at our private text messages. His contact name, ‘Ushi baby’ stared right back at me whilst I tried to work up the courage to send a text.
Deciding against it, I threw my phone onto my bed and sighed loudly. He was at practice and had a game tomorrow so I didn’t want to bother him or cloud his mind with meaningless things like what I need to talk about.
I couldn’t help to wallow in my own pity. The clock on my white painted walls doing nothing but making the sound of ticking throughout my room which eventually annoyed me enough to leave.
It was around the time for Ushi’s practice to be over and I really wanted him to come over, I just didn’t know how everything would go.
Whenever we had first started dating I got introduced, and interviewed, by Wakatoshi’s best friend, Tendou. And now, Tendou was one of my closest friends so I decided to call the Chocolatier himself for support.
After the phone had rang for three seconds it picked up, “Hello! Hello!” the familiar voice sounded throughout my kitchen.
“Hey Ten! I am in need of advice and company.” I admitted due to the facetime call revealing his apron on with some stains of colors on it.
“Oh really?” He asked, drawing out the ‘really’.
“Yes, really. I need to talk to Wakatoshi, I’m just not sure how. Any ideas?”
“That depends on what you’re going to talk to him about. Saying the wrong thing could make him easily misunderstand what you mean and vice versa.” Tendou tried to poetically explain, as if I didn’t already know that.
“Yeah, thank you so much,” I rolled my eyes, “I’m feeling a bit.. lonely in our relationship lately. I need more physical affection from him and I’m not sure how to really bring it up because times that’s happened before.”
That little spill from me made memories pop up into my head of Ushijima rejecting my attempts for physical love.
I could only remember how he shrugged himself away from holding my hand or kissing me after I brought him a well-balanced lunch meal one day during practice.
I never felt more embarrassed or ashamed in my life. My own boyfriend rejected my advances to give him, and to receive love from him in front of his entire team.
It wasn’t the only time that that had happened. I tried doing it behind closed doors just in case he didn’t like publicly displaying affection. However, that didn’t work either when he moved away from me one night after being out to dinner.
From that point on it’s just been messaging, very little facetime, some phone calls, and occasionally visiting each other’s apartment. I wasn’t sure how to proceed with this, and I certainly didn’t think it was anywhere near enough to breaking up.
However, that doesn’t mean he didn’t hurt my feelings nor have been continuing to hurt them. Whether on purpose or not.
With Ushijima being a member of the Schweiden Adlers, I knew some of his teammates and occasionally talked with them about how my boyfriend was doing time to time.
However, I couldn’t help to not reach out to them within the last couple of weeks. I didn’t have the courage to confidently ask about him.
Tendou’s voice brought me back to where I needed to be, which was having this conversation to communicate my needs across to him.
“And since knowing him for a while helps my understanding, I think a simple conversation would do the trick. Honestly, I’m not sure why you called if you knew that too?” He questioned me, eyes peering dangerously close to mine through the tiny phone screen.
I bit my lip, “It’s just… he has a game tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin that by spouting dumb nonsense about how I’m not feeling this or that from him.”
Growing up, I’ve always considered other peoples thoughts, opinions, feelings before mine. It was just the kind of person I was, and now it hurts me the most when I need to express myself.
“Girl. Fuck that game.” He rolled his eyes at me.
“Yes Wakatoshi loves his career and it’ll always be there but you’re something in his life that can disappear at any moment. I think he’d want to know,” Tendou tried reasoning with my dumb logic as he pointed a wooden spoon in my direction.
I gave up. I knew in the back of my mind that Tendou was definitely right and I wasn’t but it was my own self that was keeping me from doing what I needed to do.
“Alright, I think I’ll ask him to come over tonight then.” I tried to say confidently after I made up my mind of what needed to be done.
“Great! When I’m in Tokyo next I’ll be sure to bring a little something for you and him.” Tendou winked at me before ending the facetime call.
That only left me to do one thing, text my boyfriend. I quickly sent him a text asking if it would be okay for him to come over after practice.
My nerves were all over the place as I waited for the tall, olive haired man to show up at my place.
Soon the door bell brought me out of my mind trance and when I opened the door I saw the one and only Ushijima.
“Hey Toshi, come in,” I widened the door after taking a good look at him.
It seemed like he came here right out of practice, he was still in his whole practice uniform. His usual stoic face didn’t change once I sat down on to my living room couch.
“Is something the matter, (Y/n)?” He bluntly asked, getting straight to the point with me.
I took a deep breath to prepare myself, “Yes, Toshi. There is something the matter. My feelings are hurt and have been hurt for a while due to the lack of physical touch in our relationship.” I paused for a moment to look over his face.
He seemed to be intently listening on every word I was saying which gave me the impression to keep going.
“I just want more skin ship with you like hugging, kissing, hang holding, or even just sitting beside you with arms touching. I feel deprived of that because you seem to always move away when I try to initiate it. Is there a reason or..?” I trailed off, finishing what I was saying and asking a question to see his side.
“I’m sorry for making you feel that way, (Y/n). I don’t understand the idea of that. It makes you feel more loved than usual?” He asked, trying to work around in his head of what I had mentioned.
“Well, yes. Without it I feel upset or rejected by you sometimes.” I hung my head low a bit, it was embarrassing having to discuss this. However, I was always one to get embarrassed or ashamed at anything I needed.
“I will try, for you.” He promised, his large hand reaching over to me and placing it on my knee. He was very warm and it traveled through my body.
I smiled a bit, “Thank you, I really appreciate it. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”
I scooted closer to him on the couch and he gave me his one million dollar small smile that I love. His arms wrapped around my shoulders whilst I hugged his torso. His lean but built, very built, body touched my soft one, I loved this feeling.
We stayed like that for a minute, nothing heard but the low volume of my living room TV and our breathing.
“Thank you, Toshi. I really appreciate that you’ll try for me.” I pulled away, already missing the hug but needing to say that to his face.
“Of course, love.” His hand came up to caress my face and I leaned into his touch.
The aching in my heart and body went away after discussing that with him. It was all just a bit miscommunication which was easily fixed after I expressed what I needed to.
I couldn’t be more content.
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a/n: I hope you enjoyed anon!! I’m terrible at writing for Ushijima but thank you for helping me extend the people I can write for :))
you all know my header rules, if not see pinned post!!
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athenaswrath · 5 months
Text
Until I Found You - Chapter 1
Quinn Hughes x reader
This chapter is more of a background story/introduction of the reader (no Quinn yet)
Word count: 829
>Chapter 1< Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
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You were looking for a job when you had the amazing idea to go for one on a hockey team, the only sport I actually enjoy. When I got a call saying I got the job on marketing and social media for the Devils I was head over heels
The day they introduced me to the players I was terribly nervous, I'm not a social person at all, and being surrounded by a group of loud, confident and cocky men was not the best for my anxiety.
After a couple of days with them they noticed how uncomfortable I was being the spotlight so Nico made it his job to make me feel at ease, and to my surprise all of his closest group welcomed me in, even Jack, which sometimes had trouble keeping his flirtatious personality down with me being the only young woman on the road.
Luke on the other way was way too cute and immediately told me he consideres me a sister, saying that he'd traded me for Jack any time.
After a couple of weeks Jack spent some alone time with me, saying that I gave him the peace he'd never had before. He also started saying I was like a twin sister, obviously it had everything to do with our age and nothing with our looks.
I was in my office editing some videos for the last days of the season when Jack came through the door "Hey shortie"
"Jack, for the last time I'm 5'9" I said not even looking up from my work. He didn't have time to reply before Luke also entered the room "Hey shortie" he said in his cheery way.
"Hey pookie" I replied seconds before Jack whined "why does he get to call you that and not me?" I just laughed before looking up and seeing their nervous features. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing" "Dammit" they answered at the same time, I raised an eyebrow and Luke continued "We just... We know that you are going to spend your free time alone and that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that, and I'm sure you'd enjoy it..."
"Luke" Jack said stopping Luke's rambling. "Right... So we wanted to know if you'd like to join us on our lake house these couple of months. It's just us, Zegras, Drysdale, Holtzy and Quinn... I mean sure mom and dad are going to visit a couple of days but..."
"No, no you guys have done so much for me already I can't just take a free vacation at your house. I appreciate it really but I just can't"
Ever since you joined the Devils, they wouldn't allow you pay for anything, everyone treated you like a princess "you're Belle for sure, a beauty and a bookworm" said Holtz one day you mentioned the special treatment
One could say that everyone could kill for that, specially coming from hockey boys, but you couldn't help to ask yourself "am I being a burden? Do they pity me? Do they think I'm a golddigger? A Puck Bunny?"
But I know they love me... Well, sometimes I do. It's hard for me to accept that, when your whole life you've been told by your own family you're annoying and there's not really something to care or love about you.
When your family told you they didn't want to have you home giving them a hard time and cut communication with you, you were heartbroken and desperate for money working multiple jobs until 2 years later you finally found this place you felt peace at.
The problem is no one but Nico knows that it's only you against the world. The rest of the team is oblivious to how sometimes you skip meals in order to save money to have a decent department, or how no one ever visits you, not even in family events.
"Are you listening to me? Are you okay?" Jack's voice took me out of my thoughts and he was close to my face looking at me with a serious expression, which was unusual on him
When I didn't say anything, he said "Darling we want you there you're part of our freak family want it or not. And God knows we need you there, there has to be at least one responsable person... Also it's about a damn time that you meet Quinn"
You've met Jim and Ellen before, but you've never met the oldest Hughes brother, the first time Vancouver played against New Jersey I had the flu and I could get close to anyone to not put them at risk. The second time Quinn was out due to an injury
"Please shortie, you'll break my heart if you refuse to go" said Luke giving his biggest puppy eyes
"Are you sure everyone's okay with me joining, I don't wanna be a bu..."
"Stop it, we all want you there"
Hoping they wouldn't regret their choice and you let yourself be happy for a while you finally agreed to join them.
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empresskylo · 5 months
Text
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beneath the mask ✩ chapter 15 ⬅ch.14
➠𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈; 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓; 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 ➠SIMON "GHOST" RILEY X AFAB!READER ➠CHAPTER TAGS | nsfw. violence. smut. wc 5.6k ➠AUTHOR'S NOTE | this chapter is very self-indulgent.,.. my bad. it also begins to stray from canon so uhh sorry if that bothers you.
𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✩ 𝐜𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✩ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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“my sources tell me all the VIPs in las almas will be there tonight,” alejandro spoke, turning to face you, ghost, soap, and graves. he took in a breath. “some are invited, others are, umm…”
“volun-told…?” graves concluded. 
“yes.”
“what’s the meet about?”
“us.” he looked a bit apprehensive as he spoke. “las almas is burning, and they want to know who lit the fire.”
“sin nombre will be there, yeah?” ghost asked.
alejandro turned and walked towards ghost. “no guarantees. But this is our best shot.”
“then we take it,” graves said as he made his way into the small circle you were all forming. “I’ve got enough shadows here to take over the whole damn country.”
something about graves unsettled you. it was like he spoke with hidden meanings in each of his words, making you feel unease. but you kept quiet and listened. 
“i’d prefer if you didn’t,” alejandro rebutted. 
“i’m just sayin’... one house shouldn’t be a problem.” 
“we need sin nombre alive,” you added. everyone’s eyes shifted to you.
“well…” graves looked off into the distance as he contemplated. “then we need to meet him.”
“how?” soap questioned, his eyes intently watching graves. 
“give ‘em what they want… intel. they wanna know who’s here. let's tell ‘em.”
alejandro scoffed under his breath. “in person–?”
“correcto.” 
you rolled your eyes at graves and soap bumped your shoulder in silent reprimand, but you saw the corners of his lips curving. 
“get one of us inside, find the boss… roll him up.” graves gestured his hands together as he kept alejandro’s haughty gaze.
there was a brief lull before soap spoke up. “i’ll do it.”
“you go in there, and they’ll kill you, hermano.”
“i’ll take my chances. we came here to stop a missile, let’s stop it. i’ll offer intel for a meet with sin nombre. and if he’s there, we pounce.” 
“hell yeah—you’ve got balls, cabrón,” alejandro said with a sly smirk on his face. “you make it in, you’ll need eyes and ears.”
“i’ll go,” you chimed up.
their heads snapped to you. 
“what? no, you—” soap began, but you cut him off. 
“if one of you go and get caught, they’ll shoot. probably will call the whole fucking house to take you down. but if I go and get caught, i can talk my way out of it.”
soap shook his head. “yeah? how do you plan on doin’ that?”
you shifted on the balls of your feet. “i’m a woman. and it’s a bunch of men…”
alejandro let a breath out through his nose. “sure you wanna handle that?” you appreciated that he didn’t ask if you could handle it, but rather, if you were certain you wanted to.
you nodded. 
“there’s other ways we can go about this,” johnny added. 
“and this puts the least amount of people at risk,” you retorted. soap matched your gaze, assessing you.
ghost tensed beside you. “I’ll take overwatch.”
the rest of the conversation turned to a buzz in your ears. you weren’t sure why you offered to go. maybe because you were worried if one of them got caught, as powerful as these men were, they couldn’t take down an entire house full of killers. 
but if you got caught… you just had to play it off like you were hired to be there. not that you wanted to have to do that, but it felt like you’d be putting their lives at risk if you just sat back and let them handle it when you were perfectly capable of doing your part. 
you all departed from the roof and got geared up; ghost found you alone in one of the few rooms of the safehouse—an abandoned building you were temporarily camping in.
“tryna get yourself killed?”
you jumped slightly at his booming voice and glanced over your shoulder at him. you continued to adjust your outfit as you talked. “what was i supposed to do? sit back and let them be the only ones risking their life? what am i here for then if not to help?”
simon made a noise of dissatisfaction. “you’re a medic, not a spy.”
you spun on your heels to face him and some of the air in your lungs got lost when you saw his bare face. you swallowed, you weren’t sure you were ever going to get used to that—to seeing his face and how at ease he felt around you to strip the ghost facade. “i don’t want to just sit around and wait for someone to get hurt.”
“that’s your fuckin’ job,” he said irritated, his words quieter, but his voice deep and commanding.
“i can handle this,” you finally said, your eyes meeting his.
“i didn’t say you couldn’t.”
“then let me do this!”
he took an exasperated breath. “y’don’t need my permission.”
you sighed, your fingers intertwining anxiously. of course you didn’t need his permission, but you still wanted it. you didn’t want him mad at you.
simon could see the apprehension on your features. “keep your comms on the entire time,” he demanded. you nodded. “n’ the second things go wrong—or look like they might go wrong—you tell me, then get the hell outta there.”
“course.” you gave him a weak smile and he took a step into you. his hand found the back of your head and he pulled you close as he hunched over. you squealed. your lips parted and your hands instinctively grabbed his jacket. there were so many thoughts raging behind simon’s eyes, but he didn’t say a word. he contemplated a few, but he remained silent, his eyes dancing between yours, before closing the space between your two bodies and crashing his lips to yours.
the kiss was fast and full of irritation and indolence. he didn’t just feel the pull towards you because you frustrated him, but the sight of you resting on graves’ shoulders wouldn’t leave his thoughts. he knew it was immature, but that didn’t stop the nagging nature of it. he fisted your hair, roughly moving his mouth against yours, his free hand grabbing your hip. 
and as quickly as it started, it ended. you gasped when he pulled away. his hands remained on you for another moment before he turned around and slid his mask back on, leaving you alone in the small confines of the room.
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“shadows on station” you heard graves ring in your ear. 
“copy. all set here.” ghost’s voice was a whisper as he spoke. you could tell from how he grunted his words that he was lying prone, looking down the barrel of his sniper. 
“seein’ room to set down on the roof.”
“check. eyes on two, armed at the front door.”
“iaso, how you doin’?” graves asked you.
“i’m already inside,” you said in a hushed tone as you scaled the inside wall. 
“goddamn, how’d you do that?”
“violently,” alejandro whispered.
“you went with her?” graves asked.
“she needed backup.”
alejandro motioned for you to slide down the adjacent hallway, his intention to split up. 
“visual on soap,” ghost muttered in the comms.
it was starting, and you had to figure out where sin nombre was while soap tried to convince his captors he had valuable intel. no big deal.
“they see him?”
“they do now.”
“kids’ got sand.”
“i hope he makes it…”
“he will,” you finished. 
you turned and watched as alejandro disappeared. he had slipped on one of the cartel’s masks, disguising himself as one of them. while he worked with soap, you were to find a way to el sin nombre. 
the house was huge, so many rooms and hallways, and all of them filled with opulent decor and finery. you slid down one of the multitude of hallways and found an empty room lined with wine bottles. you sighed, your heart racing in your chest.
you were about to slip out of the room when you heard voices in spanish.
“shit,” you mumbled to yourself.
“y’okay?” simon immediately chimed in your ear. 
“fine.” you tucked yourself into the corner as two men appeared in the shadows outside the doorway. “trapped in the wine cellar,” you whispered to simon.
he went to respond but went silent when he could hear the voices coming through your side of the comms. 
muffled spanish soon turned into a single english voice as one of the men entered the room. “what’re you doin’ here?” he asked, his voice sending chills down your spine. 
shit, you’ve been in the house all of ten minutes and you were already running into trouble. 
“i was sent to get another bottle,” you said, gesturing to the plethora of alcohol behind the two of you.
“by who?” he asked suspiciously, taking a step closer. you watched his hand grip the gun strapped to his side.
“el sin nombre.” you were taking a risk saying his name. what if he wasn’t even here in the building? you’d surely be outed.
his eyes traced your body and you forced yourself to relax—to act like you were meant to be here. 
“sent me to fetch the wine,” you started, imitating him and stepping closer. you tried to keep your voice low and steady. 
the man quirked a brow, clearly enjoying the way you stalked closer to him. “that so?”
he looked like he was convinced you were a prostitute and you weren’t sure if you were flattered or offended. 
you fluttered your eyelashes and reached out, placing your hand on his chest. you weren’t dressed in a suit like alejandro. you sported tight black pants and a cropped black shirt that showed just enough to be useful in a situation like this without being inconvenient if you had to run.
“i’m a show of appreciation.” your hand glided down his chest and his lips tilted upwards. 
“oh yeah?” his hand found your hip and he pulled you into him making you gasp. 
“iaso,” simon hissed in your ear. 
“n’ how do you plan on showin’ me that?” he asked a bit incredulously.
you steadied your breathing and reached a hand up to brush the side of this man's face. “well…” you paused.
“diego,” he informed you.
“well, diego. i’ll show you however you want me to.” your fingers skimmed his jaw, sliding your hand into the back of his head and into his hair. your voice was surprisingly steady for the way your heart was pounding in your chest.
he pushed you up against one of the wine racks, shaking the platform. “maybe on your knees?” he purred. 
you gulped. you needed to get out of this.
“the bottles. use a fuckin’ wine bottle,” simon growled into your ear, clearly distressed. 
you smiled sweetly at diego, your hands falling down his chest and to his belt. he grinned, watching your motions. one of your hands slid behind your back and gripped a bottleneck tightly in your fingers. 
your other hand worked his belt as a distraction, successfully getting him to drop his guards and take in the sight of you before him. before you could fully unloop his belt buckle, you swung the wine bottle from behind your back and crashed it as hard as you could against the side of his head.
it shattered and the red liquid went everywhere, including all over your clothes. 
diego’s eyes looked stunned for the brief moment they were locked on you before he fell to his knees and flopped to his side. he was knocked out.
“fuck. i can’t believe i did that,” you said in disbelief. a man almost twice your size lay unconscious on the floor before you, and it was all your doing. a little swell of pride swam through you before you steadied yourself and remembered you were here to do a job.
“he’s down,” you told simon. 
simon cursed to himself in relief. “bloody hell,” he mumbled exasperated. 
before you could reply, soap’s voice echoed in your ear. “el sinombre is in the penthouse. third floor.”
“elevator is a straight shot. we just need diego’s keycard.”
you crouched down and searched the unconscious man at your feet, digging through his suit pockets and seeing if he had anything of importance on him. 
“where’s diego?” ghost asked. 
“the offrenda. second floor.”
hearing alejandro’s words made something click inside you. you recalled the men approaching the wine room, muttering something about an ofrenda. when you pulled out a plastic card from the man’s pockets, you examined it and realized it was a keycard. it was diego’s keycard. 
“i got it,” you said quietly into the comms, still a little shocked. 
“got what?” soap asked.
“i have diego’s keycard.”
“no shit, iaso. how’d ya get that?”
“violently,” you muttered. you heard alejandro chuckle in response. 
“you on the second floor then, hermana?”
“yeah.”
“meet us at the north side stairs. Las escaleras estaban vacías antes. no guards. you think you can find it?”
you nodded then realized they couldn't see you. “yes.”
you slid out of the room, walking as quietly as you could, trying to orientate yourself enough to find the north stairs. you turned down the luxurious halls and gawked at the ostentatious decor. with your eyes preoccupied you didn’t see the man come around the hallway corner. 
“hey! what are you doing down here?”
you tried to keep your face from balking. “i… el sin nombre hired me.”
the man quirked a brow and approached you. your chest tightened in nerves. “relax,” you heard simon in your ear. 
you felt like shit. you were distracting simon. he was supposed to be keeping an eye on soap, not listening in to what you were doing. you could practically see him now as he scanned the roof through his rifle, but his ears were focused on you. maybe it was a bad idea to have volunteered to act as eyes on the inside. 
“then why are you down here?” the man asked again. as he got closer, you fully took in his size. he was quite a bit taller than you and you spotted a gun strapped to his hip. 
you decided to stick with your other story. “i was just getting more wine.”
he scoffed. “you’re goin’ the wrong way then.”
you bit your lip. “oh, right. thanks.” you turned to leave and he reached out and grabbed your bicep. 
“why don’t you come with me, cariño.”
you gulped. “remember your training,” simon spoke to you. you could clearly hear the tension in his words. 
before you had a chance to properly panic, the man’s arms were being pulled off of you and you heard him choking. he fell to the floor behind you and in his place stood alejandro. 
“you okay, hermana?”
“yeah…” you said exasperated. “thanks.”
“de nada. you got the keycard?”
you pulled it from your pocket and handed it to him. 
you followed him to the stairs and met up with soap. the three of you made it to the penthouse door. soap nodded at you before crouching at the door and tilting his head to ease drop. 
after several moments of alejandro and soap whispering back and forth, it was finally time.
“graves, sin nombre is posing as a female sicaria. we’re moving in. you set?”
“check.”
“ghost?”
“ready.”
“take her alive.”
alejadro kicked down the door, his gun at the ready, and both him and soap began shooting. you braced yourself against the wall, hiding from their line of sight. gunfire made you wince, hoping the two men were okay. 
“don’t let her escape!” you heard alejandro call. 
you darted into the room and out onto the balcony where you heard their voices. several dead bodies lay in your wake as you entered the warm breeze of outside air. you spotted soap as he fumbled with a woman. he had her in cuffs, saying something to her with a scowl on his face. 
as you got closer, the helicopter blowing your hair back, graves called for you all to board. “lets go.”
you came up to stand beside soap and alejandro. then felt hands on your waist from behind. you jumped and turned to find simon looking down at you. “where did you come from?”
soap and alejandro said something to one another, you had ocmpletely tuned them out, their voices carried by the whooshing of the helicopter blades. 
“soon as I heard word you were in the penthouse, i made my way here.”
with simon in front of you, your heart finally settled. you were able to breathe again. and while previous times you wondered if you were cut out for this sort of thing, this time, you knew you were. you felt good. nervous and overwhelmed, but good.
“worried about me, were you?” you teased.
simon’s eyes narrowed in on you and your smirk instantly fell. he was worried about you . 
and selfishly, he hated that he wasn’t there. you held your own back in the larder, but he hated how helpless he felt. and when that other bastard had his arms on you, it was alejandro who took him out. and while he was just grateful he got to you in time, it bothered him that it wasn’t simon ripping that man’s hands from your body. 
his eyes flared as he assessed you. you traced his line of vision to the red that covered your exposed skin. “just wine.”
his body settled but he still seemed more tense than usual. he gestured his head towards the copter and waited for you to turn and go first. you studied him a moment longer before boarding. 
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it was late when the men got back from interrogating valeria. you were still in the safehouse, cleaning up. 
simon was silent as he slid into the small room you were occupying—the same one from earlier—and you jumped when you finally realized he was lingering in the doorway. 
“jesus. when did you get there?”
he reached up a hand and tore his mask away. “y’okay?” he asked you. 
you gave him a weak smile and nodded. simon appraised you and you watched as he narrowed in on your neck before striding over to you. he gripped the back of your head and tilted it so he could see your exposed skin. you had red marks on your neck from earlier when the man had stopped you. it didn’t hurt but you knew that wouldn’t matter to him.
simon’s gaze left your neck and switched to your eyes. “i’m okay,” you told him. 
before he could say more, soap called down the hall to the two of you. “goin’ out for drinks! lets fuckin’ go!”
he didn’t give either of you much of a choice. there was still so much you all had to get done, but after a day like today, a drink couldn’t hurt. 
simon dropped his hand and followed behind you as you left the room. he must have slid his mask on in that time because when he strolled into the room, his hand in his jacket pockets, his face was covered again. 
“goin’ like that, lt.?” soap teased. 
“s’wrong with this?” he asked incredulously, though you suspected he knew his outfit was a bit… intimidating. 
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when you all finally got to the bar—after simon stripped his vest and other unnecessary gear, as well as forfeiting his hard-shell mask for his simple balaclava—the atmosphere was more welcoming than you thought it would be. 
spanish music played on the speakers and the warm air rushed in through the open windows, hugging your body in a pleasant embrace. 
alejandro went to the bar and ordered a round of drinks for everyone. 
it didn’t take long for you to feel tipsy, laughing animatedly at something graves said while you clutched a beer. the lot of you seemed to be having fun for once. the laughter felt so natural on soap, it made your heart grow slightly. you were just happy everyone was okay and you made it out of there alive today. 
ghost stood across on the other side of the table, his eyes tracing you the entire night. he watched as johnny swung an arm around you and mumbled drunken nonsense in your ear. he watched as you laughed loudly in response. he watched as graves joined in and sent a crude remark your way that made your cheeks flush ever so slightly—and simon knew it wasn’t from the alcohol. he watched as the men seemed to soak up your presence. you fit right in. he should be glad. 
fucking hell, he hated this. this is why he couldn’t do relationships. he was no good at them. he didn’t know how to navigate them. he knew he had no right to be jealous just because you were having fun. but he’d be lying if he said watching you with other men didn’t send an angry pang through his chest. 
his eyes narrowed, his jaw tensing under his mask, as he watched graves rest a hand on your shoulder. there was nothing simon could do; the two of you were not publicly a couple. he had to sit in irate silence as you seemed oblivious to graves’ advances. ever since his comments back in the humvee, he knew graves had his eyes on you. and he didn’t like it. he almost considered telling him to back off, but he would have been out of line. 
in this moment, three beers in, he was starting to put caution to the wind. some carnal and primal force inside him was escaping and telling him to claim you. to mark you as his in front of everyone. 
his hands twitched on the glass beer bottle. soap slapped simon on the back and said something to him but he didn’t hear it at all—it was white noise to him. 
graves’ fingers slid under your chin and tilted your head to look up at him. your eyes widened in shock, a bit unsure of what to do. and that was simon’s final straw. he left his beer on the table, sick of having to lift his mask to drink it anyway, and took several long strides to you. you jumped when you felt his hand on your lower back. 
graves looked up at simon and seemed irritated that he was ruining this moment for him. simon couldn’t believe it, graves was pissed at him for being a cockblock. and that pissed him off even further. he pried graves’ hand away from you, uncaring of what he might think. he had to control himself to not crush it in his palm.
he’d blame it on the booze, but simon was a big guy, in reality, three beers were barely giving him a buzz. 
“the hell?” graves cursed.
you mouthed simon’s name and he grabbed your hand, pulling you through the crowd and outside of the bar. you stumbled after him, trying to catch up as he had you in tow. 
“stop!” you finally called, stumbling over the cobblestone street. 
he halted and turned to face you, dropping your hand. you caught your breath before speaking. “what’s gotten into—”
before you could even finish your sentence, simon had pushed you into a small alleyway beside the bar, his body pinning you to the brick wall. his mask was hiked up and his lips were on yours before you had time to think. you gasped but your body quickly reciprocated. his hands held your hips tightly before one slid up your side and onto the back of your neck. he pushed against you and your head got a bit dizzy. he was desperate in the way he was pawing at you.
“you’re mine,” he muttered between kisses. 
heat coursed through you at his words, his voice low and gravely as he spoke. you could feel the anger radiating off of him. he was jealous . 
you wanted to tell him he had nothing to be jealous of, you didn’t even like graves, let alone in a romantic way. but when he pulled away, you didn’t have time to speak when he interlaced your fingers and dragged you all the way back to the safehouse—which was conveniently only a few blocks from the las almas bar. 
simon pulled you into the small safehouse and slammed you up against the door the second it closed, his lips attacking yours, his mask dropping to the floor. he kissed down your jaw and onto your neck. you struggled to hold on to him, your words getting caught in your throat. 
“si-simon, what are—” you groaned when he nipped at your skin. all rationale abandoned you. the fire from simon’s hands along your curves made you forget why you were trying to stop him. why would you want this to end?
if anything, you wanted more. 
his hands crept down your back and over the curve of your ass, dragging you against him. he stumbled with you, his lips never leaving your body, barely able to drag you into one of the small rooms before stripping you. he tugged at the hem of your shirt, wanting to pry it from your chest. 
you stood back slightly so he had enough room to strip you of it. “what—what if someone comes back?” you said breathlessly. 
his hand maneuvered into your hair, backing you up against the small cot in the room. you fell back and he crawled on top of you, parting your legs to give him space. “doesn’t matter,” he grumbled. 
he hooked the waistband of your pants and began to yank them down. he was impatient. desperate. 
he removed his sweatshirt before blindly tangling his fingers with his belt, trying to shove his pants down. your eyes rounded in the dark, taking in the sight of him. he was raw; showing you just how much he could feel. he needed you. wanted you. wanted you all to himself. 
he was back between your legs his fingers sliding into your underwear, feeling just how wet you had already become. he gave you a sly grin. “what if they hear?” you asked in a last attempt at your sanity. 
simon clicked his tongue. “let ‘em.”
you swallowed hard when he slid a finger inside you. let them listen?! you’d never be able to face them again out of sheer embarrassment. and what happened to him agreeing to keep this thing between you two private for the time being?
his eyes darkened, running a hand up your side and groping your breast over your bra. “want ‘em to know you’re mine.”
you sucked in a breath of air, your heart thumping loudly in your chest. he pulled your bra down enough to expose your breast and gave it another squeeze before removing both his hands from you. you pouted at the loss. he gripped your thighs and hiked them up slightly so he could wedge himself more properly between your legs. he pushed your underwear to the side and lined his cock up with your entrance. 
you were a bit taken aback at how fast he was doing everything. this was only going to be the second time you had sex with him. your hands held his biceps as he nudged his way into you, wasting no time. he groaned and you held your breath. “fuck,” he mouthed, both of you looking down to where your bodies connected.
he guided himself in painfully slow, the feeling so overwhelming you couldn’t help but whimper. 
your noises seemed to spur him on more because he jolted his hips a bit. he pulled back and then edged in. he kept doing that until he was able to fill you to the hilt. then he began a steady rhythm. “god, you’re so fuckin’ tight, love.”
your hands fought between running through his short hair and scratching along his back. he picked up speed and your eyes fluttered shut. “oh my god,” you said softly. 
simon shifted your legs so your knees were being pushed back towards the bed, your thighs up against him. you squealed at the position change. he was able to hit you far deeper like this. his fingers snaked to your chin and shook you ever so gently. “look at me,” he demanded. his hand slid to rest around your neck, his thumb stroking your jaw.
your eyes opened and were met with his, his nose almost touching yours. "you're mine. all fuckin' mine," he managed to get out through strained breaths. “you’re fuckin' my girl, ” he grunted, "you're my fuckin' girl." your lips parted and he met your hips with his own in a hard thrust. “my fuckin’ girl,” he said a bit more aggressively and feral. you nodded, unable to form coherent words. his eyes narrowed in on you. “you’re— thrust —my— thrust —fuckin’— thrust —girl.”
you couldn’t tell if he was repeating it because he wanted you to acknowledge it, to tell him you were in fact his. or because he was trying to convince himself.
“yes,” you mewled. “m’yours.”
“my fuckin’ girl,” he growled as he continued his hard thrusts. he didn’t like the men talking to you like you were single. available. like he wasn’t sitting right there. you were his whether they knew it or not. and a sick part of him hoped the men came back—at least graves—and were forced to hear the way you cried for him. he wanted them to know how good he was fucking you. he wanted them to know you were his. and his alone. 
he pulled out of you and flipped you onto your stomach before you had time to protest. he pulled your hips up so your back arched and he slid back into you. your hands fisted the sheets of the simple bed, hoping you two wouldn’t break it. that would be difficult to explain to the others. though, you had a feeling simon would actually like that to happen. 
his fingers dug into the fat along your waist and hips and you groaned every time he pulled you back into him. 
you were embarrassed at how close you already were. you shouldn’t be so turned on from simon being so possessive. shouldn’t that be a red flag? but you didn’t care. all you knew was the way he was fucking you right now felt better than any other man had ever felt against you. and the way his deep voice uttered those words “my girl ,” had you swooning. you could listen to him call you that all day. you wanted him to claim you. you wanted him to know you were his. 
he felt you clench around him and he moaned. “close, princess?” he asked you, his accent heavier than usual. 
you nodded against the mattress and he chuckled. but his laugh quickly turned to a long groan and a few curses as you tightened against him. you were so fucking tight. and he was so fucking close. 
“my girl wanna come?” he all but growled.
“y-yes!”
the sight of you was everything to him. seeing you pushed into the bed before him, your knuckles whitening from how tightly you were gripping the bedsheets, your back arched, your body safe. you were safe. he couldn’t protect you today, but you. were. safe . 
so many feelings had brewed in his chest these past few days. this new and strong connection he felt with you. jealousy from even the smallest glance another man gave you. fear for your safety as you acted recklessly. anger that he wasn’t always the one there saving you. 
you were going to be the absolute death of him.
“this cunt is all fuckin' mine. you hear me, pet? all. mine.”
you cried his name and that was enough to send him tipping over the edge. “shit,” he cursed. 
you spasmed around him, your legs shaking, your hips pushing back to meet each of his thrusts. 
simon released inside you, following your orgasm closely. “take it. take it all,” he said through strained lips. he continued to pump himself into you, his thrusts becoming more languid. 
he finally slowed, both of you catching your breath and steadying your heart. he stilled inside you for a few brief moments, white liquid escaping around his cock, as he took in the sight before pulling out and collapsing on top of you, yanking you into his arms. 
you rolled over so you could face him and his hand locked behind your lower back. he kept your gaze and you drew a hand up to softly trace the side of his scarred face. his eyes fluttered from your delicate touch. he forgot how gentle touch could be. not everything had to be rough and violent, as much as he enjoyed that. feeling your tiny fingers ghosting his skin felt better than any relief he got from killing men. far more.
“you don’t have to be jealous, you know.”
“m’not jealous,” he said, tucking your head under his chin so you couldn’t see his face. 
“right,” you mumbled. 
you laid with him wrapped around you for several minutes before you broke the silence. “we should get up before they come back.”
“mmm. why?” his words rumbled in his chest, his voice hoarse, clearly exhausted. 
“you know why,” you said in faux annoyance. 
“they’ll all be sloshed. gonna stumble in ‘n’ collapse wherever they can. no one will b’lookin’ for us.”
you were plastered to his side. if you tried to move at all, you’d fall off the cot that was clearly made for one person. 
sensing you might protest, simon began stroking your hair, his other hand rubbing circles on your bare back. you sighed, feeling safe and loved. you didn’t want to get up as he touched you so gently and lovingly. so you snuggled up closer to him and his grip tightened. 
“mine,” he muttered quietly before kissing the top of your head.
OKAY THE WHOLE "MY GIRL" SCENE CAME FROM A NSFW BADJHUR AUDIO LMAOOO. he says "my girl" in such a feral and simon-esque way that it literally sparked the whole idea for this chapter. this is it if you wanna hear it... it's very nsfw just fyi (24:05 is the timestamp where he says it 😇)
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snowy-vee · 3 months
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ALL MINE (4)
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CHECK MY PINNED POST!
DAILY CLICK!!!!
DON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT PALESTINE JUST BECAUSE THE STRIKE IS OVER! NOBODY WILL BE FREE UNTIL EVERYONE IS FREE!
oblivious loser bsf! ellie williams x posesive popular bsf!fem reader
n/a: 2.9k words! I hope you all enjoy, I have change some things so the story MAYBE won't end in 6 chapters, I love reading comments or answering questions, so FEEL FREE TO DO SO. Any misspelling will be edited later on
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You enter the house talking on the phone. You take out your boots and went directly to the fridge grabbing a water bottle.
“No, shit, Jesse, of course I’m giving her space but I think you don’t get that it’s been two weeks since I last saw her”
“If I don’t recall wrong, you made some cheer girls spy on her”
“Shush, what was I supposed to do? She was suspended for one week so I knew I wasn’t going to see her and that she was going to still mad at me the next one, so I put April and Sav to do a little… research ¡I am worried! She hasn’t even come to the house to pick up her clothes, her backpack, yes, but her clothes are just like the last time.”
When you went to fight Abby at her department, you didn’t, Ellie had done enough job, so you just screamed at her and made her tell you what the fuck happened between them at the locker room and years ago. Abby, tired of this bullshit, told you everything from A to Z, and you felt more like a piece of shit.
Now you understood everything, at least saw the situation with a different light, you did slap Abby and told her to stay away from you or you would sue her for spreading your pics around campus. Since then, no contact between you two, not even in class.
“Well, you fucked up big this time, what can I say?”
“Thank you, you’re the best, How does it feel that she’s with your ex and you’re still in love with her?”
“One, at least I can talk with Dina without problems, our friendship is good, Two, they are not together yet. How’s yours with Ellie? Oh right, hanging in a thread”
“Blah, Blah, Blah… Where’s my fucking couch?” You turned around going on the living room to sat down on your couch but it disappeared, it was there this morning when you left.
“How would I know? Where’s your couch?”
“That’s what am I asking, Jesse!” You were going to freak out. You heard the water of the bathroom running, there was someone on the house “I think there’s someone in the house…”
“It could be Ellie”
“Her keys are not in the entrance, I will call you later…” You said walking slowly towards the bathroom, you could hear Jesse telling you to don’t hang the call but you did anyway. Once you where in front of the door, It opened and you screamed.
The voice of Ellie screaming at unison with you made you stop. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
She said with a hand on her chest looking at you as if you were crazy. She obviously just took a shower and was wrapped in a towel with her hair soaked and wetting the floor. You felt relieved that it wasn’t a burglar, you nodded slowly reassuring yourself and saying that it was only Ellie… ¡Ellie!
“You’re back?”
“Well, still my house too, so yeah, you have a problem with that?” She said in a defensive tone, of course her guard wasn’t down yet.
“No, of course no! It’s just that I am surprised”
“Don’t be, this doesn’t mean me and you are friends again”
“I know… Do you happen to know what happened with the couch” You asked with a sad frown looking at her walk to her room.
“Yeah, I burned it in a remote clearing far from here”
“Why? It was brand new!
“It was dirty because of someone” she simply said closing her door. You had a confused look on your face as you were processing what she told you.
You locked yourself in your room, you did miss her but at the same time you had to find some words to tell her and you had zero idea what to do, God, she was burning things now, maybe you were the next. Ellie was walking around the house, you could hear her steps on the kitchen and the TV on, she was cooking something while watching one random quiz show.
The warm feeling that you had knowing that she was finally back at home allowed to take a long nap, a very long one because once you woke up, the sun was gone and you regretted it. You had homework to do and exams to study, you had to take it seriously since cheer wasn’t your major, you were studying something that your parents agreed on but you did not enjoyed that much.
They were donating monthly to the cheer team in exchange that you aced everything else, otherwise you would be expelled from cheering and from the team, even the coach knew that. Ellie always helped you and made it easy to study but she didn’t this time, obviously, so you had kind of trouble studying.
With your things to study you went to your kitchen, leaving everything on the table, you were going to study there but also eat something, you were hungry. You opened the fridge, empty except some sodas and protein bars… maybe in the pantries? Nothing caught your attention but the pan in the stove. Ellie had cooked one of your fav foods, was she torturing you? She knew that you weren’t going to grab the food nor ask her if you could, you bit your lip and sighed resignedly, protein bars would be.
Time flies while you were working in your homework, sometimes looking over Ellie because it still felt surreal that she was at home, she could feel your eyes on her but she wasn’t going to give you any attention or so she thought before you started groaning annoyed that you couldn’t understand a lot of things. It was making her nervous and irritated her a little, mostly because she knew that you stressed yourself easily over anything and that made the process more difficult and also because she couldn’t help you, you two were on a Cold War.
“What is it?” She said getting up from the only small chair of the living room.
You turned the computer around and showed her the topic, she started helping you and you were focus, of course you wanted to use the opportunity to talk but first enjoy her help. None of you realized how fast the time passed that until you let a small yawn.
“Maybe, that’s everything for today” Ellie said returning to her cold-self. Shaking your head you grabbed her hand.
“Please, don’t… I can’t spent another day without talking to you”
“We are talking”
“Don’t play dumb, I finally know what happened back home, I finally understand more your anger, Abby told me everything”
Ellie raised her eyebrows, waiting for you to start talking. She wanted to know what truth have you heard and if it was the right version of it, and it was, Abby told you the truth.
“So you went to her again?”
“That’s all you have to say? And it was not like that” You rolled your eyes looking at her “Whatever, what I want to say is that I wished you could’ve told me back then”
“Would it have changed something?”
“I have no idea, maybe?”
Ellie scoffed. “So my word was not enough? Telling you not to mix with Anderson?”
It was going to be difficult to try and have a conversation when Ellie still hurt and was defensive, which you get and that’s why the nap was a need, you were mentally prepared for this.
“I’m not saying that, but I thought it was something stupid like she stole your game box, not your girlfriend” You tried to explain.
“Okay, but you still had something with her knowing that I was in bad terms with her, why? I mostly want to hear why? I’ve been racking my brain searching for a reason”
“Because of you” Ellie opened her mouth to respond but you covered it. “Shut up. Let me finish, I did it because of you, Ellie, I’ve been in love with you since god knows when and I tried so hard just to be your best friend but I couldn’t”
Ellie eyes softened slowly. “Every girl that tried anything with you, I scared them off, I used the ‘power’ of being popular and I used to make them stay away from but then we came here and there was so many people that did not fear me or knew me and you were getting along with a lot of people, I was afraid you were going to finally find a girl that matched your type”
“Why you never told me that?” She said taking your hand out of her mouth, holding it now.
“I’ve tried! Millions of times but somehow you had a new girl in your radar or you did not read the signs, eventually I grew tired of it so I tried to keep you for me. The first time I got with Abby, was only a kiss in a game but that made me popular somehow and I was starting to get more attention because of the rumours, at the same time I saw how you looked at Dina when she was dating Jesse and how you started to talk with her when they broke up even if it was briefly, I knew you were getting interested in her”
“I have nothing with Dina…”
“Can you let me finish? Damm” She murmured a little ‘sorry’ and indicate for you to continue “That irritated me and I was thinking on ways, it’s going to sound bad… on ways to hurt you because of how you made me feel, like I would never be enough but I did not wanted to hurt you directly because I am your best friend, nothing else, you weren’t doing anything bad, just being social and flirting. Abby told me she find me attractive and ¡Bang! Match made in hell, it was perfect, because I knew how much pain you’d feel and it would be equal at mine.”
“So it was intentional? You wanted to hurt me?” She let go of your hand looking at your eyes.
“No! Well, yeah, I didn’t realized how dumb I was being but with you and Dina getting to know each other more, you lying to me to go see her… It was too much. I’ve been with a lot of people in front of you and you’ve never reacted until Abby, so it was the only person that made you protective of me while I tried to get rid of Dina”
You took a deep breath and exhaled softly, nodding slowly. “But this two weeks, I did some thinking, more like mini therapy and I’m ready to be your best friend and stop pushing myself on you on any way and let you be the judge of your love life. I don’t want you out of my life, you’re my everything and if it’s only as a best friend that I can be, I am ready and I know that I hurt you and that is going to be difficult to trust me again but I hope we can reconnect slowly again”
Ellie felt kind of guilty knowing that she neglected your feelings and kind of made you that way, she could’ve rejected you sooner… or accept you sooner, anyway what was done was done.
“I- I think that I accept your apologize”
“You think? Is that a yes or no?”
“I don’t know, I have to think about it and it will take time. Even if we start acting like before, my trust on you has been hurt” You nodded. Of course, you were aware of that but how long was she going to take? Also, you just confessed that you love her and she is not going to say anything to that? That made your heart kind of itching, you wanted to scratch it and, in the process, tear it out.
“I understand… Can I hug you?”
“It’s better that you don’t” Oh. Ellie already took out your heart and ate it in front of you “We can start slowly, I can help you studying and let’s go from that”
“Okay”
“You can’t interfere in any of my love life, nor go back to Abby, this time I won’t make you promise that you will, I just hope that you wanting my friendship back is enough to keep you away from her” Your mind was spiralling thinking about how much build up you had to do to rebuild what you had with her. “I’m kind of tired… I’ll go to sleep now, night”
She went to her room an closed the door. You were left alone in the kitchen and still with a little homework unfinished, but you had a new plan in the move, now that you had a green light you could start it.
“I’m going to the 24h store! Be right back” You yelled grabbing your jacket and keys, putting on your shoes and calling Jesse.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
The music of the bar was mostly soft rock and the smell of alcohol and cigarettes was everywhere, you finally saw Jesse playing pool in his red varsity jacket with some guys of the football team.
“Hey, guys!” You said in your cheer tone, making them all smile. “Mind if steal your teammate for some time?”
“All you want, darling”
They started cheering Jesse’s name and patting him on his back as you pulled him out of the bar to the back part of it so no one could catch you talking and interrupt.
“They must be thinking we’re going to fuck or something”
“Ha! In your dreams” You let your back rest on the wall as you look at him taking out a cigarette “Give me one”
He light his up and came in front of you putting on in your lips and connecting both cigarettes to light up yours, all this keeping eye contact with you before taking a spot besides you, leaning his back on the wall too, that made you and he laughed.
“I’m sure that works like charm with the ladies”
“You can’t imagine” he shrugged “So what was that you wanted to talk about?”
“I will help you with get back with Dina” He started coughing because of heat you said, you raised your eyebrow blowing the smoke on his direction.
“What? Why? Is this one of your crazy plans?
Your relationship with Jesse was more of a partner in crime than anything, if any of you had this weird planning on something you could count on the other to support and help and he knew of your dying love with Ellie, so he was sure you wanted to help yourself more than help him.
“Don’t you still love her? Why don’t fight for that love back? You guys were cute”
“You used to gag every time you saw us”
“That was before”
“Before what? Before she and Ellie started something?” You nodded shamelessly, you had no problem admitting that you wanted Dina out of the picture ASAP. He stayed in silent for sometime, he was reconsidering the offer, most of your plans never failed and he truly wanted Dina back. “I don’t want to force Dina back in to my arms, I want her to be with me because she wants”
“Duh, my plan won’t work if she don’t want, this has to go smoothly, Ellie has given me second chance but with the agreement that I wouldn’t mess into her love life”
“Yet here you are” he smirked. “You are such a bad best friend”
“That’s why I want to be the girlfriend, now that all the mess with Cat and Abby is out, she doesn’t have to evade me in that aspect any more”
“Because you already cheat on her once” You hit her shoulder and he laughs “Don’t get mad at me, get mad at yourself! I’ll do it, but it better work, how much time is it going to take?”
“Some months, we need to let them at least some weeks together and then interfere between them, my friendship with Ellie still is fragile but she adores me too much, we will be back at normal, while that happen…” You flicked the cigarette butt onto the ground and stamped it out, exhaling the last puff. “You have to tighten your friendship with Dina, be more flirty, romantic but not too much that you make her uncomfortable, enough to make her remember how good your relationship was”
“And what are you going to do?”
“Be the friend Ellie deserves and helping her through the hard times” you take out your phone to call an Uber to go back home, your job here was done, you just had to wait and have faith that Jesse was going to do a good work.
“You truly are something else” Jesse sighed walking back to the bar and giving you a last look.
“I’m just taking care of my girl”
Meanwhile, Ellie was at home contemplating her ceiling and thinking that maybe this time everything was going to be easy and that maybe this was a small bump that your friendship had to overcome to become stronger. She was so weak when it came about you, she tried so hard to stay at Dina’s but she was sometimes searching for you on campus without realizing that, sometimes it seem as if you were the one that started the cold war. How wrong was she about it…
taglist;; @boobdrug @lovelyxbaby @pedropascalsbbg@cherryimaa @yumimak @amberputh @cattjull @carylinflors @ghostlyfangs @teawithnosugar @azxulaa @elliesexual @gato-chino @divinesdior @yumimak @abbystoy @gosomewjere @isitadinosaur @sourgummywormsss @rhehhwfehwfqd @bubblymilktee @mulan-but-gay @liasxeatt @lookforthelight1 @slynxs @doveocean @onlinelesbo
for people who asked me to be tag but it's not, sorry, it's not letting me tag you, I'll try later or next chapter <3 I'm going to ask for 250 notes to post the next!!!
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xxsabitoxx · 10 months
Text
Two is Better Than One [Teaser]
Geto Suguru x AFAB Reader x Gojo Satoru
Warning: the full version of this story will contain multiple smut scenes, naturally the completed story and official post will have a proper set of warnings!
A/N: full fic to come! This does not count for my 15k special btw so you’ll see a plethora of Sato/Sugu content soon :)
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Your fingers curled around the ends of his hair, black and silky. “So, are we going to finally discuss the obvious?” You teased your boyfriend softly, watching as he turned his head against the pillow to look at you. “Now?” he hummed, his face was just starting to return to its normal color, his chest had returned to an even pace of breathing. “Yes, now. No better time than now actually, Suguru.” You rolled onto your stomach, smirking as his eyes trailed to where your breasts squished into the mattress before his gaze returned to yours. “You’re never satisfied, my love.” he laughs softly, hand reaching out to smooth your hair, his eyes lingering on the bruises he left on your neck for a moment. “I suppose we can discuss the situation.” You smiled, happy that he had so easily given in because you had been itching to discuss a particular someone. 
“He’s getting more reckless with his advances.” You hummed softly, fingers reaching out to toy with a lock of his hair again. “I saw. He’s getting antsy, doesn’t know what to do with himself quite yet.” Suguru mimics you, humming softly as he finishes his sentence. “I can’t say I particularly blame him, I wouldn’t know what to do in his situation either.” The situation was the fact that Gojo Satoru very clearly harbored feelings for the both of you. It was honestly the opposite of the reaction that you had prepared for, you expected him to hold some sort of grudge over the fact that you had “stolen” his best friend. Even though you, Suguru, Satoru and Shoko had been close friends since your first year at Jujutsu Tech. 
“He’s used to getting his way, but this time he doesn’t know how to advance because he cares about both of us too much.” Suguru’s eyes closed, mulling over the possibilities.
“You don’t think he’s confused, right?” You chuckled, Satoru had always had a plethora of women essentially at his disposal, men too. Though as long as you have known him, you’ve always known him to turn men down. “No, he’s definitely not confused, more so he’s conflicted. I assume it is because he tends to come to me for advice on these things but… the issue at hand is me… us.” He finishes with a chuckle, one eye peeking open when he feels you shift closer. “And he can’t go to Shoko because she’d just call me up while he’s telling her these things and repeat them back.” You laughed at your friend’s habit of not being much help in the secrecy department, she figured the best solution was to face these things head on. 
“Precisely, he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place… you and me.” 
“So what are we going to do then? To ease the torment of our beloved friend.” You spoke dramatically, legs tangling with him under the sheets. You only felt comfortable sleeping naked if he was close to you, a smile tugging at your lips as his arm instinctively wrapped around you and pulled you close. “Well there are a couple things we could do but none of them really ease his torment.” Suguru chuckled, as much as he loved Satoru, he couldn’t pass up an opportunity to mess with him. Call him cruel but it lived for it, same with you. He always came off so sweet and polite but the moment he knew you were his, the sadistic side he tried to hide always came out. “Oh so you want to fuck with him for a bit before…” you paused “... We still need to figure out what the end goal of this is, Suguru.” You lifted your head from its spot on his chest. 
“Here’s the deal, my love. I give you permission to flirt with him, toy with him, see how far he’ll let you go before his guilty conscience creeps up on him and he questions your loyalty to me.” Suguru started, hand resting on the top of your head so you would place it against his chest again. “From there, it really depends on what Satoru does… I don’t feel all that comfortable welcoming him into our relationship if he lets you do these things with no hesitation. It shows me that he’s only lusting after you and the idea of ‘us’... nothing more.” You hum, seeing where Suguru is taking this. “If he stops you, shows discomfort in your advances and all that stuff… he passes. It shows that there is more respect and love in his advances than just lust.” 
“So you want me to play the part of an unfaithful whore?” you deadpan, head shaking with the way Suguru’s chest bounced with laughter. “No, we won’t let his potential uncertainty hang in the air for too long, my love. You can be upfront with him, tell him I gave you the green light to do these things.” You thought over everything he said, finding it to be easy and complicated all at once. Flirting wasn’t exactly your forte but you understood why Suguru wanted you to be the one to do it rather than him. Flirting only came easily to you when it was with Suguru, when it came to Satoru you liked to tease him rather than flirt. Though some people tend to view those as the same thing… Satoru being one of them. “So, if we get lucky and things advance further…” 
“Then you bring him back to our home, I’ll be waiting for you both, and we can carry on from there.” You swallow dryly at Suguru’s implications, head lifting to look back up at him. There was a brief moment of understanding, one that pulled a humorless huff of laughter from his lips as he recognized the look in your eyes. “You truly are never satisfied.” He commented softly, cock already twitching to life as you devoured him with one single stare. “It’s impossible to remain satisfied when I’m with you, you could give me everything and I would still crave more.” You’re pushing yourself upwards, pushing the sheets back until he’s fully exposed to your hungry gaze. “You could go for a third round, right?” You’re shameless as you straddle his waist. 
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gingiesworld · 7 months
Text
Fatal Attraction
Chapter One
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Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader/ Wanda Maximoff x Jarvis Stark
Warnings : Fluff. Angst.
Taglist : @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @ladyqueenxoxo @aemilia19 @wandaromamoff69 @mfd-101 @dorabledewdroop
18+ MINORS DNI
Wanda Maximoff, was known as Jarvis Stark's new wife, and NYU graduate, that was all. Once Jarvis had gotten a job at his father's company, Wanda had quickly adjusted to the stay at home housewife. Even after she had done her morning chores and meal preps, she wasted a majority of the day either sitting on the sofa watching TV or just staring out of the window at the bustling city below. Even her latest conversations with Jarvis made her want to retreat from him.
"I think we should try for a baby." He told her as her eyes widened.
"What?" She almost yelled across the table from him.
"We're married now." He stated.
"Barely." She told him as he shrugged.
"I have a steady job and income, we can provide for a baby Wanda." He smiled at her as she shook her head no.
"I don't want a baby Vis." She told him firmly. "I am not ready for that sort of commitment."
"We're already married, Wanda." He told her sternly as Wanda started to clear the table. "I think not being ready for commitment has already passed."
"No." She told him as she squeezed her eyes closed. "Being married is different to starting a family. We are both 22 for crying out loud."
"All the more reason to do it." He told her. "By the time they will be off to college we will just be pushing passed 40, an age to start living our lives again."
"I said no Jarvis." She snarled as he just sighed.
"Just think about it." He requested before he retreated to their shared room. Wanda knew exactly how she felt about the whole children's situation.
Did she see herself as a mother at some point? Yes, just not right now. Not when she has a lot of living to do.
So she made it her mission to reject every advance Jarvis had made. Denying his every need to have intimacy with her. She couldn't really sneakily go on birth control as they now had shared health insurance.
So she had done the next best thing, she had made several resumes and sent them out to multiple organisations, hoping that she may just get herself a job and a way to earn her own money and not have to rely on Jarvis's family fund.
Every day she checked the mail, hoping that she may get an acceptance letter, only receiving polite rejection letters.
"I bet you're going to tell me what the others have said huh?" She questioned as she sat with the envelope in her hand. Taking a deep breath before opening the letter and reading the black ink.
Dear Ms Maximoff
Thank you for your resume, and I am afraid that all departments have been filled. Although, I do have an assistant about to go on maternity leave. It is only a temporary position. If you may be interested, please contact me as soon as possible.
Many regards
Y/N Y/L/N
CEO
Wanda was fast to dial up the number provided, although she had waited for half an hour until she was put through to Y/N.
"Y/N Y/L/N, how may I help you?" They answered.
"Hi, Mx Y/L/N, it's Wanda Maximoff." She rambled nervously. "I was just calling up about the temp position you have available?"
"Hi, Ms Maximoff." They spoke cheerfully. "I do have a full week this week but maybe if you can stop by the office at noon? I have 30 minutes spare for lunch if you're free to do your interview then."
"Yes." Wanda answered excitedly. "Of course."
"Perfect." They answered her. "I shall see you at noon. Don't be late." With that they hung up, just before Wanda squealed. She was excited to have a job prospect so soon, but her excitement didn't last too long when Jarvis came inside with one of her resumes in his hand.
"You know, we have been looking to fill some spots in our tech department and when I noticed this on my desk of potential candidates, I thought that couldn't be my Wanda Maximoff but there is only one Wanda Maximoff in New York." He slammed the paper on the table before him. "What are you even doing Wanda?"
"I am looking for a job." She told him.
"You don't need a job." He told her.
"No, but I want a job." She told him. "I am sick and tired of living the same routine every day. It gets extremely lonely."
"Maybe if we try." He started as Wanda interrupted him.
"I already told you no Jarvis!" She yelled. "I am not ready to be a mother!"
"No one is truly ready to be a parent dear." He tried to approach her when she stepped back.
"No." She told him firmly. "I don't want a baby. Not now."
"Wanda! This is something that is expected when we marry." He told her as she laughed.
"We are not living in the 50s!" She told him. "It is my body and I do not want a child."
"It has to be done Wanda." He told her.
"No it doesn't!" She shouted, starting to get angry with every second he wasn't listening to her. "I am 22, freshly out of college, I should be out partying with friends, working a job I hate to try and make ends meet."
"But you don't have to do any of that." He told her.
"Because we have your father's money?" She spoke with a raised brow. "I want to be able to earn my own way Vis, so please just let me." He just nodded as he walked away, leaving Wanda to clean up the dinner that neither had the appetite to eat.
The next day, Wanda was getting ready for her interview with Y/N. She was extremely nervous as she hasn't had a job since she worked part time in high school at the local cafè. So she made sure she was at the building earlier, sipping on a coffee as she waited for Y/N, already being informed that they were in a meeting.
She soon perked up when a door opened and a large group of people left the room. Waiting to see what Y/N looks like.
"Ms Maximoff." They spoke up as they spotted Wanda. "Follow me." She was fast to follow them into their office. Admiring the view from behind them as they sat at their desk. "So, your resume was quite."
"I know, I haven't really had a job since high school." She told them. "But I graduated at the top of my class in college."
"And you are married." They pointed out as they noticed the gold band on her finger. "And you're 22."
"My husband and I have been together since high school." She told them as they smiled softly.
"Well, he is a very lucky guy." They told her before looking at her seriously. "So, why do you want this job?" They asked her.
"Well, I want to be able to make something of myself, earn my own way." She told them. "It's just that Jarvis expects me to stay at home and birth his children but I don't want that."
"You want to be independent." They pointed out as she nodded. "So why did you marry him?"
"I love him." She answered easily, although at that moment, the words felt like a foreign language on her tongue.
"As easy as that." They pried before realising Wanda's unsure gaze. "Forgive me, that was out of line."
"No." She waved them off before looking up again.
"Well, I guess I can have you start on Monday, Jean will show you the ropes before she leaves on Friday." They told her with a smile.
"I got the job?" She asked them, with shock and confusion in her eyes.
"You got the job." They smiled as she squealed. "Just leave your details, social security number and bank account details with Jean."
"Thank you so much Y/N." She stood up as Y/N walked around the desk.
"Be here Monday, 8am." They smiled at her before opening the door for her, the two approaching Jean. "Do you have the files for my next meeting?" She handed them an A4 manilla file. "Also, can you sort out Ms Maximoff's details for your temporary replacement. She will be shadowing you next week before you leave us to have this little guy." Jean nodded with a smile before Y/N had disappeared down the hall and into the elevator.
"They aren't the easiest to work for." Jean told her. "They are perfectionists."
"I can see that." Wanda smiled as she handed over the appropriate papers.
"But they are loyal to their employees." Jean told her. "That is one thing I can say about them." Wanda was fascinated by them, only meeting them briefly but seeing how smart and sophisticated they seemed. It only drew her in, needing to know more. She found herself thinking about them, even when she was laying in bed at night beside her husband. Her thoughts were innocent but she still felt guilty.
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oliversrarebooks · 17 days
Text
corporate retreat 3/4
Previous > Masterlist > Next
tw: brainwashing, drugging, dehumanization, hypnosis, amnesia
"Quinn? Can you open your eyes for me, please?"
Somehow, they managed to get their eyes cracked slightly open. The lights in the room had mercifully been dimmed, and everything seemed fuzzy and indistinct.
"Good. Follow the penlight with your eyes, please."
Quinn did their best, but it all seemed like a big confusing blur.
"Reactions very slow but perceptible. Subject just barely able to respond to stimuli. Twilight sleep state achieved. Based on the results of the tests and their psychological makeup… recommend… and fifty milliliters… around two hours…"
Quinn felt the mask being taken off their face, and the cool rush of fresh air untainted by sedatives was a relief. They cracked their eyes open again as their arm was grasped by one of the assistants. She wiped the inside of their elbow with a cotton swab soaked in cool liquid, and then began to insert an IV line. They were still far too out of it, their limbs much too heavy, to resist.
The IV line was attached to a big bag of light blue fluid. Quinn watched as the drug went drip-drip-drip down the tube and into their arm. The assistant used the IV port to inject a dose of what looked like the same drug.
"We'll give you a little time to adjust to the new medication," said Dr. Moon. "You can just relax."
They assumed they were going to be put back to sleep, but instead they just lay there, staring at the slow drip of blue liquid, in a kind of tranquilized daze. Whatever this new drug was, it wasn't bad. They couldn't remember the last time they had felt so peaceful. Actually, they were feeling pretty good. The all-consuming sleepiness they'd felt from the gas had melted away into a drowsy calm, and their thoughts were gradually returning.
"Quinn? Are you awake? How are you feeling?"
Quinn turned lazily to Dr. Moon. "Good. Really, really drowsy… but good," they said.
"That's excellent to hear," Dr. Moon said. "You're on the good stuff now. We gathered enough data to understand how best to adjust your mind."
"The good stuff…" Quinn's gaze traveled back to the IV line. "What is it?"
"We like to call it cleaning fluid -- but don't be alarmed. It's a nickname, because it's for washing your brain." She laughed. "We have many different components we can use to make it. It's highly customized for the individual, their needs, and our needs."
They really couldn't have been alarmed even if they tried. "What's in mine?"
"Cleaning fluid always starts with Influence Serum. That's our proprietary control medication that removes your mental defenses and inhibitions and increases suggestibility, leaving your mind delightfully pliant and malleable. Then we add Liquid Lullaby -- that's what's keeping you drowsy and docile," she explained. "Your custom mixture also has Pacifier, our anti-anxiety agent, and a little False Paradise, to induce mild euphoria. Plus a few interesting other traces."
"That seems like… a lot of drugs."
"Don't worry, it's especially formulated for you, and completely harmless," she said. "You were so anxious coming here, weren't you?"
"Yeah," they agreed without hesitation.
"And you seem so exhausted. Aren't you exhausted from all the work you do?"
"Yeah, I am."
"And I bet you're so tired of thinking, too. Solving problems. Making decisions. Your poor, tired mind needs a break from all of that."
She was right, that sounded heavenly. What had they even been so worried about? The Brainwashing Department was so nice, and Dr. Moon was so friendly and helpful. "Yeah, I guess I really did need a break." They relaxed into the comfortable chair, resting their arm with the IV on the armrest. Dr. Moon was right. These drugs really were the good stuff.
"Well, it's a good thing you've got a month long vacation, then, isn't it?" said Dr. Moon.
Quinn smiled. "I can't believe it, but I'm actually glad I came here."
"Oh, that's just so lovely to hear you say! I really do think we do great work here. We help people," she said. "And I've got another treat in store for you."
"Oh? What is it?"
"I'm going to turn on the screen and you're going to watch a fun movie for the next couple of hours. It's going to hypnotize you and help you be so obedient. Doesn't that sound nice?"
"Um…" Quinn furrowed their brows. They dimly remembered that they hadn't wanted that, but they didn't really feel like making a fuss when instead they could just relax in a blissful daze.
"Great, let's get you all situated." Dr. Moon reclined their chair a little bit more, then turned on the screen and placed it in front of Quinn's face.
The screen burst to life with a pulsating rainbow spiral, one that drew Quinn's eyes right to the center as the colors shifted and swirled. They couldn't look away. They didn't want to. Something about it was so, so… compelling… like it was the greatest and most fascinating thing Quinn had ever seen, like they could watch it forever.
"There we go. Just watch the spiral. You're too sleepy to resist, aren't you?"
"I'm… I'm not…"
"Oh yes you are. You're much too sleepy to resist."
"I'm… too sleepy to resist…" Quinn heard themself agree.
"The spiral is going to open your mind up very nicely," she said. "You're going to keep your heavy eyes open and watch the spiral, but your mind is going to go to sleep, okay? Deep, deep sleep… a deep hypnotic sleep where you can listen and absorb everything."
They could feel it. They could feel themselves falling asleep in the heart of the pulsating spiral. "I can listen…"
"So obedient, aren't you? Just like you should be. What an excellent subject."
Quinn couldn't help but smile. "…Thank you…"
"Oh, you like the praise, don't you? You're the type that wants to get a good grade in being brainwashed."
It felt like so long since they'd done anything right, really. "Yeah…"
Dr. Moon draped a warm blanket over Quinn's body. "Then be a good little test subject for me, stare in to the pretty spiral, and let yourself be hypnotized."
Quinn nodded slowly. They didn't want to do anything else. They felt a pair of headphones being slipped over their ears. Through them, they could hear soft music playing and Dr. Moon's voice coaxing them to fall asleep, to be obedient and docile, to love the experience of being brainwashed.
They were much, much too sleepy to resist. Besides, they wanted to please Dr. Moon.
They should just listen, let Dr. Moon do all the thinking for them, and fall deep into trance.
"Sleep and obey…" they heard their own voice saying. "Deeper asleep and deeper entranced… too sleepy to resist… I love being brainwashed… I must obey Dr. Moon…"
Their eyelids were getting heavier again, the entrancing spiral a colorful blur, as they repeated the mantras and fell so deep into hypnotic sleep.
They weren't sure how long they remained there, eyes half-open, staring into the spiral. Time seemed to have no meaning. It could've been five minutes and it could've been five months.
"…so happy that you were brainwashed. Three. You'll be docile and obedient. Two. You'll be relaxed and refreshed. And one. You can open your eyes and wake."
Quinn opened their eyes just as the screen turned off, yawning and rubbing the sleep from their eyes. They felt so, so utterly relaxed, like they'd just had the world's finest spa treatment. Like that was the first really good sleep they'd had in years.
They were still in their chair in the clinical room. The machines were quietly beeping, and the bag of drugs attached to the IV looked mostly empty. They were more than content to just rest for a while and see what would happen next, floating in a cloud of bliss.
It didn't take long before Dr. Moon entered. "Why, hello Quinn. Welcome back to the waking world. Did you have a good nap?"
"The best," they said. "I feel amazing."
"Oh, I'm so glad. You really needed that sleep and mental readjustment," said Dr. Moon. "Here, have some water and a nutrition bar."
Quinn eagerly took the food and water. It hadn't really been something they had thought about, but they actually were hungry.
"Did you enjoy the movie?" asked Dr. Moon.
"It was wonderful," said Quinn. "It feels so right to be hypnotized and not have to think for myself. I didn't realize how badly I needed that."
"Oh, you're such a model subject. I think you might be one of my favorites," said Dr. Moon as Quinn beamed in pride. "You're taking to the brainwashing so, so well. I agree, I really think it's exactly what you needed. And you're going to get another round with a new movie -- but first I wanted to give you a little break."
"Thank you," said Quinn through a mouthful of nutrition bar. They couldn't wait to see what the new movie would be like.
"First, though…" Dr. Moon nonchalantly pulled a capped syringe from her lab coat pocket, injecting the contents into the IV line. "We call this one Loose Lips. It's a truth serum. You're probably too hypnotized to really need it, but I want to make sure you're completely honest with me when I ask you embarrassing and invasive questions about your personal life."
Quinn nodded. "That makes sense."
"First off, how do you feel about your boss?"
They frowned, annoyance just barely managing to push through their drugged calm. "She's driving me insane with their unreasonable demands. She's constantly calling me in to work on nights and weekends because we're so short-staffed, and then she acts like it's my fault that I'm burned out. She wastes my time with boring, pointless meetings, and when there's some kind of problem, she micromanages me and keeps asking for status updates when I just need to concentrate on fixing it." The grievances poured out of their mouth easily.
"That sounds really rough," said Dr. Moon sympathetically. "You should tell me everything you know about your boss. I'm very interested. And after that, maybe you can tell me all about your insecurities, secret fantasies, and embarrassing fetishes."
"Sure!" said Quinn, so eager to be obedient and useful.
Dr. Moon questioned Quinn for a while, and Quinn found that they could answer all of their questions easily and in great depth without a hint of shame. It was really nice to be able to speak so freely. Dr. Moon was such a kind, understanding person.
"You've done so well for me," said Dr. Moon. "I couldn't ask for a better test subject. I think it's time for you to get another round of brainwashing, don't you think?"
"Yes, please!" said Quinn with a big smile. "I'm so lucky that I get to spend an entire month in the Brainwashing Department. Do you think I could transfer permanently?"
"I think that would be an excellent idea. We'll see. But for now, I need to change out your IV medication, okay?" Dr. Moon switched the nearly empty bag for a full one. "This formulation is a little different. I've reduced the Liquid Lullaby and added a little River Lethe. That's our best and most gentle amnestic -- a medication that interferes with memory formation and produces amnesia."
"Amnesia…?" said Quinn, feeling a strange bit of anxiety, the first they'd felt since waking.
"You'll be less sleepy this time, but don't worry, you'll be every bit as hypnotized and blissed-out. You're not going to remember the next few hours, though. You probably won't remember much of this conversation, either," said Dr. Moon. "This new medication will leave you feeling pretty fuzzy for a while after your treatment, too. Is all of that okay with you?"
The anxiety was dissolved by their desire to please the doctor. "Of course it's okay. Whatever you think is best." The new drug was already dripping steadily into their veins. It was strange to think that it was already at work in their brain, that they wouldn't be able to remember any of this.
"Then you can just sit back and enjoy your new favorite TV show," said Dr. Moon, turning the screen on again. This time, it was a scene of slow moving clouds floating by.
Quinn barely noticed when Dr. Moon dimmed the lights and left the room, the drugs and the voices in their headphones already turning their mind into useless mush, fit only to listen and obey. After all, they were so sleepy, and the hypnotic program was far too good to resist.
Previous > Masterlist > Next
88 notes · View notes
jenscx · 1 year
Text
FATE — huh yunjin x f!reader
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it’s been two years since yunjin had broken up with you, but fate brings you to korea, and into yunjin’s arms.
TAGS — fluff, angst, exes to lovers, cursing, wanted to write a super angsty one but felt bad for my wife yunjin :((
WORDCOUNT — 2.6k
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yunjin breaks up with you through a phone call. it’s embarrassing, her voice sounding through your phone explaining and rambling while you try your best not to cry in a random starbucks.
“—and it’s not you, like seriously, it’s just our time differences and i can’t be in a relationship if i want to debut.” you grip your phone a little tighter.
“you told me you were going there to visit family. not to debut or even train again,” memories of yunjin reassuring you flash through your head and you can just hear the grimace in her voice.
your girlfriend continues, “i know what i said, it’s just, they asked and this is all i’ve ever wanted.”
“so that text from yesterday was a lie? telling me that you missed me so much and couldn’t wait to come back?” you hiss as quietly as possible, feeling more furious rather than sad at this point.
yunjin goes quiet for a second before sighing, “i do miss you and i miss new york too but i can’t give up on my dream. i’m sorry, y/n.”
you think of your girlfriend’s past endearing words and they only fan the flames burning inside you. ( “y/n? are you still there?” ) and at that moment, you no longer feel any sort of affection for huh yunjin, only disappointment that she lied to you and then broke up with you through a two minute phone call.
“i hope i never see you again, jennifer. bye.”
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it’s been two years since the breakup and you glared at anyone who brought it up. it was a sensitive subject and you would rather spend your time thinking of anything else but yunjin. yet, you feel exhilarated. a sample of your mix had somehow worked its way to hybe and the producers there had reached out to you, an opportunity anyone would give anything for.
a ticket headed to south korea was booked and you stood in the airport, giving your teary goodbyes to your family. you had tried to build up your korean a few weeks beforehand and maybe, you could understand it more than the average foreigner.
after all, if you were to potentially be signed to hybe, you might just end up migrating there and a little korean could help you out.
“be good, i don't want to see my only daughter ending up a prisoner,” your dad says.
you laugh, affronted, “why would i do anything that would warrant jail time?”
he shrugs and you give your parents one final hug before departing for the gates.
excitement fills your veins and you are soon jittering with nervousness. as soon as they announce boarding, you rush onto the plane, a newfound enthusiasm for your future.
maybe you could meet blackpink there, but yg and hybe don’t really collaborate often, you thought.
or maybe if the whole hybe thing doesn’t work out, you could try for the black label and end up producing for somi. that would be fun.
your fantasies entertain you for the rest of the flight and sleep overtakes you at the later part. it is a 14 hour flight after all. you dream of soft brown eyes and even softer black hair.
it’s around 10 o’clock in the morning when your plane lands and surprisingly, you feel well-rested. it’s surreal that you were finally in korea and as you wait for the designated driver to pick you up, a crowd of fans rushes past you, camera flashes going off at lightning speed.
“ah, isn’t that lesserafim? they just came back from japan,” a stranger remarked while passing by. you tense up. the group, lesserafim, familiar yet painful at the same time. you clench your eyes shut, not willing to make any sort of contact with one particular member.
however, your body gravitates towards the crowd and the sight of the group’s success before you grips your heart painfully.
she left for a good cause.
“kazuha! look here!”
“chaewon! chaewon! do a heart with sakura!”
“eunchae-ssi, do a heart!”
just as you’re about to leave, someone calls out.
“yunjin! look here!”
unfortunately, the person who had yelled stood next to you and even though your head was screaming at you to run, your legs stayed rooted and you’re forced to face the girl who had broken your heart.
“y/n?” she mouthed, eyes widening. you pulled the cap on your head downwards and gulped. should i just run and hope she thinks i’m just her hallucination?
unluckily (or luckily for future you), neither you nor yunjin move away and you’re stuck in a staring contest with your ex.
she did nothing and snapped her smiling façade back on her face but her gaze wandered to you occasionally.
you thought back to your words, “i never want to see you again.” yeah, that was how it should be and your body finally cooperated as you pulled yourself out of her trance, away from the crowd.
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you stare at the building, a modern, skyscraper corporate building that spoke of the company’s success.
“hello,” you greet the bodyguards stationed at the front and head in. it was pristine and honestly, you would die to work here every day. there was a cafe and everything, you promised yourself to get a snack later.
“oh, you’re the producer that no joohwan has a meeting with,” the receptionist says, “the twelfth floor, i think he’s in the studio.”
you nod and express your thanks before making your way up. despite the fact that you were about to talk to a hybe producer, your head was filled with thoughts of a particular idol under hybe. her blonde hair and bright eyes… why did she dye her hair? you frowned as the elevator dinged.
you’re greeted with a hallway and multiple doors. the sign above most reading, ‘practice room’ while the door at the end is a different colour.
you knocked and waited a couple seconds before opening it slightly.
a man sat before a layout of buttons and mixers that you were well familiar with and inside the recording booth, a sole girl looking at the lyric sheet.
“oh, hello, i wasn’t expecting you to be so early but come on in. you can take a seat there first while i finish up,” the producer, no joohwan, smiles. you nod and do so, not before recognising the girl inside as lesserafim’s chaewon.
“chaewon-ssi, let’s do the last verse, okay?”
“yes.”
you’re amazed at her voice and the way joohwan moves so fluidly around the mixer. it feels like it’s his second home and it probably was. it was like a performance artwork.
“i think that was good, we can wrap up here today,” joohwan says, “tell yunjin to drop by later, we need to record her verse too.”
even her name urges some sort of reaction out of you and maybe chaewon notices since she raises a questioning eyebrow but doesn’t say anything.
“okay,” joohwan turns to you when chaewon leaves the room, “so, i heard your mix and i think you’re just what our team needs. i think that you bring something new and i want you to work for hybe, or more specifically, source music.”
source music, the company lesserafim is under. you’re now in some dilemma because if you were to reach joohwan’s level, you would have to see the members during recording. the members, including yunjin. your head spins at the opportunity presented, either let your past relationship affect your future or forget about it.
you feel slightly bitter. yunjin chose her work over your relationship. she didn’t let you, no matter how much she loved you, affect her dreams.
“i would love to work for source music.”
you think you’ve made the right choice when joohwan takes your hand into a firm handshake, “i’m glad you chose our company! when i’m done recording with the girls, we can sign you to source music and draft up a contract.”
“okay, i’ll come in next week then?”
“yes, that would be great.” you don’t lie through your teeth when you tell him how much you appreciate the opportunity and joohwan seems genuinely excited for new ideas and samples.
as soon as you open the door however, your smile fades away as a blonde blocks your way.
“oh. you’re… here,” yunjin blinks. seeing her in close proximity brings up a lot of things you want to say to her. for example, you’re still so pretty ranging to i hate you and your stinking guts. but you don’t say any of those. you nod and then try to manoeuvre past her but she’s so much taller and stronger than you that your wrist just ends up in her grip. she drags you away while you struggle in her grasp and only stops when you two are both in an empty practice room, the door swiftly locked by yunjin.
“what are you doing!” you shriek, backing away from your ex-girlfriend but it seems, she has other plans that prevent your escape.
“no, what are you doing in korea?” yunjin retorts, “aren’t you meant to be in new york?”
“i’m here for a job, dumbass, so can i leave now?” you frown, not liking the way yunjin rests her gaze on you.
a moment of silence befalls the two of you, and of course, your temper runs short and it’s another episode of you trying to reach the locked door but yunjin’s arms reach you before you do.
her arms wrap around your waist and you writhe uncontrollably.
“jennifer! let. me. go!”
“no!”
you gasp, “what the hell do you mean, ‘no’!”
“i just wanna talk to you!”
“and i don’t want to talk to you!”
your ex-girlfriend pointedly ignores you until you stop trying to escape, too tired to fight back against the once comfortable embrace you wished for.
you pant, “what?”
“what?”
“what do you want to say? and it’s not nice just grabbing your ex— or anyone, like that!” you scoff.
yunjin releases her grip slightly but not enough for your body to wiggle out. she sits you both on the wooden floor and sighs.
“i…”
“what, jennifer? you wrestle me and then have nothing to say? you better start talking if not i’m leaving in five seconds.”
“okay, this isn’t how i envisioned our first meeting.”
“and i didn’t envision this at all,” you whisper under your breath, rolling your eyes. who the hell fantasises about meeting their ex again?
“can you stop saying shit and just listen?”
“no, jennifer, because you literally just kidnapped me!”
yunjin groans loudly, “oh my god, stop calling me jennifer!” her shout falters you and you stay quiet. a part of you is scared of her anger and another part wants to cry. cry that yunjin’s hold is so, so warm.
you hear yunjin take a deep breath.
“i regret breaking up with you.”
and it’s crazy that you don’t have a snarky remark to bite back. you don’t have any words at all because… well, why would yunjin ever regret that?
it got her famous, rich and her dream that she desired.
you feel her embrace you a little tighter again. at this point, your back was to her chest and she rested her head against your shoulder. it was like you two were cuddling, only that you were deathly upright and still. suddenly you hear sniffles and your shoulder getting wet.
“it was fine at first. i liked being an idol but i just… i’m sorry for leaving you. i was an idiot and i can’t tell you how much i’ve missed you,” yunjin cries into your shoulder, “i was so stupid to break up with the only person that supported me then… and i’m so sorry for being such a dumbass to ever let you go. i wanted to go back to new york and beg for you to take me back—”
“so why didn’t you?” you interrupt.
“i was scared, scared that i might see you with someone new and scared to face you again, but now that you’re here, all these emotions just rush out and fuck, i can’t stop crying. please, please let me try again, i won’t be the same idiot that breaks up with you. i’ll do anything for you, y/n.”
yunjin just sobs into your shoulder and there’s some mumbles that you can’t make out.
“jen,” you mutter softly, “i was so broken when you left me. you lied and then just broke up with me on the spot, and there’s still a little bit of my heart that hates you for it.” your ex-girlfriend’s body tenses up.
“the days after, i waited for any contact with you. maybe you would call, apologise and come back to new york, but a part of me knew that you would never. but i stayed, hoping,” you chuckle, “so much for wistful thinking. you haven’t changed much. but i did.”
yunjin inhales sharply.
“have you… moved on?” you can tell her cheeks are burning red at her curiosity despite her hair hiding her face.
“i could never move on, you know that right? i just had to change to become someone who would survive without you,” you turn around, facing the one that left you heartbroken in a starbucks two years ago. “you left so abruptly and… i can’t just forgive you instantly. also, i meant it when i said it wasn’t nice of you to just drag me in here.”
yunjin pouts, cheeks reddening further, “you would have ran away.”
you pinch her cheeks, “then you can chase me properly this time, instead of leaving again.”
she sighs into her hands.
“i wish i could turn back time and never leave you.”
you shake your head, “i’m still pissed at you. i think i had to change pillowcases every day since i cried into my pillow every time i thought of you.”
yunjin lets out a watery laugh.
“i’m sorry.”
“it’s okay. i became okay.”
“i just,” yunjin stutters, “missed you… way more than i thought. i love you, so much. fuck, why’d i ever think of leaving you?” she says the last part more to herself than you.
“let’s start slow, yunjin,” you offer the girl, who raises her eyebrows.
“yunjin?”
“everyone here calls you yunjin, shouldn’t i do the same?”
“but i like jen…”
you giggle, “okay jen, i’ll give you another chance.”
you swear that yunjin’s face brightens up tenfold when you let those words out.
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lesserafim’s dating ban is lifted after five years. yunjin is more mature and so are you. you had recently celebrated your 27th birthday by flying back to new york (with yunjin tagging along) to visit your family.
after reaching incheon international airport, yunjin takes ahold of your hand and laughs, “this is the first time i saw you since we broke up. it’s so crazy that fate brought you here with me.”
you roll your eyes at her.
“you mean, you broke up with me, don’t make it into a mutual agreement,” you sass.
“yeah yeah, but i wanted to ask you something,” yunjin shifted uncomfortably, “y/n.”
“yes, jen?”
“we should start dating.”
“yeah? that’s not really asking anyway, more like stating,” you say.
yunjin is now the one rolling her eyes.
“is that a yes because i might just start crying.”
you give her silence before bursting into laughter at her worried expression.
“yes, you doofus.”
( “hey jen, you were kind of like joe jonas breaking up with taylor swift when you broke up with me.”
“oh my god, i was joe jonas.” )
743 notes · View notes
princessaxoxo · 8 months
Text
Strangers to lovers part 4
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Sherlock x reader
Summary: Being Enola’s sitter was an adventure, but not as much as falling for her brother, Sherlock.
Warnings: 18+ Only, Implied Alcohol consumption, Major fluff (finally) 
Word count: 2.1k+
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Sherlock staggered out of the pub and into the street. "Sherlock?" his younger sister's well-known voice called out to him. "Enola, my beloved sibling," and he asked, "How are you on this nice evening?" as he struggled to return to walking. "From what I can tell, significantly better than you," she said, shaking her head. "Mycroft would scold you for acting in such a manner if he could see."
Sherlock laughed drunkenly at his sister's obvious acknowledgment. "Come with me; let's travel home so you can recuperate from this." Sherlock collapsed onto his couch as she pulled him to his apartment. "I'll stop by tomorrow to see your state of mind." As his eyes drifted for the night, he witnessed Enola depart. Sherlock grimaced when the strong sun shone through the tiny gap between the curtains the next morning, as he woke up with a headache. He put his hand over his eyes. With a groggy expression, he got up and went to take a soak in the tub.
Soon after, he heard Enola calling from behind his front door, "Come in." Sherlock shouted. A smile spread across her face as she said, "Oof, you look horrible." Sherlock tightened his jaw and said, "Thank you; that is how I feel right now."
"With her, communication, patience, and listening will work better than drinking until you can no longer stand or function."
“Indeed, but it appears that the situation is insignificant. I'm not wanted by y/n. Although I've changed significantly since then, she wants the man I was four years ago. She loves him, not me now.”
“She wouldn't have accompanied you yesterday if she didn't want or love you now. Perhaps go meet her; tomorrow is best. wouldn't be a wise decision to travel today."
Sherlock glanced sideways at Enola before averting his eyes.
//
At the precise moment his door opened, you raised your fist to knock; however, your move was cut off, and you spoke first. "Good morning. After yesterday, I wanted to stop by and see you."
Sherlock widened his door for you to enter.
You could smell booze as soon as you came in. "Have you drank today?" you asked, turning to face him. "Ah, no. Simply put, yesterday's evening wasn't pleasant.” Seeing how you made him feel that way, your face sank. Sherlock became increasingly uneasy since he could see by the expression on your face that you felt deeply guilty. "Don't worry about me. What happened last night was, in my opinion, difficult for us both."
"Yesterday is behind us; I wanted to speak with you today. And while I am aware that we have had a lot of conversations lately, I hope that this one will make us both happy.” Sherlock started to feel anxious and wondered whether this was it. Your talk of happiness was merely a means of telling him it would be better for you both to part ways.
You took a seat on his couch, close to him. "I have taken note of your efforts. Please don't think that I didn't find it beautiful or that I didn't appreciate the gesture, especially yesterday. And the conversation we shared made me consider accompanying you on your endeavors because I truly want us to work," you said, and Sherlock listened to you intensely before replying.
"Are you certain? We may be in love, but the future is not clear. If we decide to have children, it will be difficult, love—not the typical difficulty that parents go through with raising kids, but the kind of difficulty where you will be alone with our kids for months or even years at a time, and I know you want them. However, you would have to accept that. I want you to feel that you are not required to do something simply because you love me. To you, that wouldn't be fair."
You gave what he said some thought. You had not completely contemplated the possibility that he would leave even after the two of you established a family together, and you had desired to have children with him. However, you grinned and said, "I'm certain, Lockie." He arched an eyebrow at you and asked, "Did you just call me Lockie?"
"That's right, your assigned nickname." After kissing him and putting your hand on his face, you began to move away, but he stopped you and drew you closer to him. His tongue skimmed across your lower lip, causing your lips to part and allowing him to enter. He filled the air with his scent, and his kiss was tender and loving rather than forceful and demanding.
“Stay here for the night," Sherlock said against your lips, and you obliged by giving him a peck on his lips.
//
Sherlock made multiple unsuccessful attempts to prepare a supper for you. Your gut ached from laughing at him more and more each time. You continued to giggle as you said, "Okay, stop, I'll do the cooking." He nearly set his kitchen on fire. "I think you should watch me so you know how to feed yourself when I'm not around." You possess a sarcastic tone. You jumped as his hand gave you a little smack across your bottom, so you struck his arm in return, saying, "Hey!" and continued to say, "I was joking," and then paused for a short while before continuing. When you turned to face him again and said, "Or maybe I wasn't," he initially gave you a grim look, but as he turned away, you could see a tiny smile.
//
"No, you are my professional chef, and you will never leave my apartment. Baby, this is too good. You've been hired," he declared, his mouth full of food. Being the sole person to whom he has shown this aspect of himself gives you great joy. It was more intimate because he had never revealed it to his own family. "Thank you, my love, but that is unfortunately not acceptable."
He asked, "No, and why is that?" to you.
"Neither can you buy me, nor can I be employed. I'm not a lady of the night.” He agreed, "No, you’re surely not.”
He said you two should take a bath to unwind after you finished dinner. Sherlock came up behind you and assisted you in getting out of your dress as the hot water was poured into the tub. Untying your gown and letting it fall, following your undergarments. He grasped your hand and eased you into the bathtub. Your skin felt warmed by the water. You turned to watch him take off his clothes, observing as each article of clothing dropped to the ground until his bare body was visible.
As you turned, he murmured, "You have very watchful eyes, my love." "What harm does that cause?" You questioned him, "Not at all, particularly with your wandering eyes upon me." He joined you in the tub.
Your laughter echoed through him after he said that. Sherlock desired to enjoy that indefinitely. When he brought the sponge near the water, it began to absorb the water, and he began washing you. "Darling, how does it feel?" You closed your eyes and hummed in return, saying it felt wonderful.
Sherlock kept lifting the sponge over your body and letting go of the water it contained, and for the next few minutes, you spent each other's presence in a relaxed silence. As the water trickled down your breasts and down your stomach, you two gazed. He kissed you on the side of your neck, and you could feel how silky his lips were at all times.
"Do you want to go to bed?" You agreed with him; Sherlock took the lead by removing himself first. You bit your lip and poked his buttocks with the end of your foot while his body was still turned away from you. After a little period of inaction, he snatched you from the bathtub and flung you onto the bed. "Ah! Sherlock!" you exclaimed. With a playful "You think you can kick me and there will be no consequences?" tone, he started to tickle you. "Sherlock, stop, stop," you would say between chuckles. Your laughter never stopped.
He nuzzled his face into your neck and started kissing every inch of your face. "That was sufficient punishment!" you told him. "You asked for it when you kicked me," he shrugged. "But you know I don't like being tickled," you said.
Afterward, you demanded that he get you both some clothes.
He looked at you and said, "Demanding now? Politely ask, and I'll retrieve them."
"I'm not saying please, and I’ve always been demanding."
"Yes, of course you have," he responded with pursed lips, "but I'd much rather stay here and stare at you."
You shooed him away and said, "We have all night for that Lockie. Now go."
"I refuse to allow that nickname to stick."
"Yeah, it will; I'll make sure of it, Lockie," you added, and he glanced over at you. "Plus, you can never say no to me." With a smile of amusement, you both acknowledged you were right.
//
A couple of hours later, you were laughing at his foolishness while lying on top of him behind the covers. "You're just an idiot, baby, but it's funny how the most notorious detective in history is deemed to be a genius."
He turned you over and said, "You may be right, but I'm your idiot, and you also happen to love it." You scowled as he gave you a shocked expression.
"Yes, tragically, I do," you replied to him.
"I have no fear of tickling you again," he said, and you rolled your eyes at him.
He bent down and smiled cheekily at your request to "shut up and just kiss me."
He moaned under your intense kiss as you encircled his neck with your arms. He kissed you again, tracing his nose along yours.
"Are you interested in knowing something?"
"Of course," and he swept your hair aside from your face.
He kissed you on the lips, saying, "I love your lips, and I love your cheeks that always have a rosy tint to them; I love your hair that always smells of flowers," and brushed your hair behind your ear. “I love how your arms fit so perfectly around my neck,” he remarked. He took hold of your arm and planted a kiss below it. He made his way down to kiss both of your breasts. "And naturally, I adore both of these," he chuckled. With your eyes fixed on Sherlock, he continued to descend. Your heart enlarged as he kissed your stomach and said, "I love your stomach, which will someday carry our children." After kissing your thighs on the inside, Sherlock proceeded to kiss along your legs. "Y/n, I adore every aspect of you. I will always love and cherish you."
It was as though you could explode at that very moment, the way his declaration of love for you made you feel. He kissed you again, this time up your body to your lips. It was unbelievable to hear what he had just said. It was not what you had anticipated. As for your response to him, you had no idea.
"I love you so much," you said, peering between his blue eyes.
He reclined next to you, entwining your legs with his. All night long, he kept you near, keeping you warm with his arms encircling you. Sherlock was always wide awake until he heard your sweet, soft snores. He was soothed to sleep by your steady, peaceful breathing.
//
You whimpered when you woke up the next morning and felt empty where Sherlock had previously been lying. You could see your eyes straining to open and acclimate to the new light when the curtains were slightly drawn. When Sherlock came into his room with a tray of food, he noticed that you were stirring. "You're awake at last," he said, and you raised your head. And as he got closer, you could see that food had been ready for you. He planted a kiss on your forehead and said, "I wanted to surprise you with breakfast; I did not burn anything this time." You chuckled at him.
Despite your messy bed hair, he felt you looked as stunning as ever, and he crawled back into the bed and watched you eat in awe staying with each other for the rest of the day.
Part 5
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jbaileyfansite · 5 months
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Jonathan Bailey and Matt Bomer's Interview with The Hollywood Reporter (2023)
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“Johnny B! Johnny B!” Matt Bomer exclaims as he logs in to Zoom to join his Fellow Travelers co-star, Jonathan Bailey, to do press for their critically acclaimed Showtime limited series.
“Hey, Matty Mo,” Bailey replies. 
The actors spent about six months filming the eight-episode series — so, of course, they’ve established a playful bond. On this particular day, they’ve even given each other nicknames.  
“I don’t think I’ve ever called Matt ‘Matty Mo’ in my life,” a smiling Bailey says.
“I love Matty Mo,” Bomer replies. “Listen, I love Matty Mo. I appreciate it.”
Bomer and Bailey built a brotherhood and onscreen chemistry for the historical romantic drama about two male political staffers who fall in love at the height of the Lavender Scare, a time when homosexuals were banned from holding positions in the federal government. The series — based on Thomas Mallon’s 2007 novel of the same name — follows their intense affair into the ’80s, also visiting Vietnam War protests and the AIDS crisis.
Zoom, it turns out, is where the actors first met, reading lines together to see if there was magic. And there was.
Since debuting in late October, Fellow Travelers has had an overwhelming response from viewers — some connecting directly with Bomer’s Hawkins Fuller, a veteran and State Department official who carefully hides his homosexuality, or with Bailey’s Tim Laughlin, an eager and naive congressional staffer who falls hard for Hawk. Others have identified with some of the supporting cast, including Allison Williams in the role of Hawk’s wife, Lucy Smith, and breakout stars Jelani Alladin as reporter Marcus Hooks and Noah J. Ricketts as drag performer Frankie Hines, whose gay Black love story is one of the show’s many highlights. 
“It’s so nice to be able to have discourse with people who are responding to the show. That’s been really refreshing and enlightening,” says Bomer, who is also an executive producer on the series.
Bailey, best known for Bridgerton and his theater work, says he was drawn to the show because “it felt new and it hadn’t been done in this way — in an elevated, eight-hour, rich aesthetic with gay actors.
“The queer experience is so different for so many people,” he adds, “but the one thing that unites the queer experience is these moments in history.”
In an interview with THR, Bomer and Bailey talk about prepping for their roles and being gay while playing gay, while also breaking down those milk and toe-sucking scenes.
What has it been like to have people connect emotionally to the series?
MATT BOMER: I won’t name names or anything, but I’ve known people over the years who’ve made similar choices that Hawk made in order to survive. Not governmentally — I mean in a society that certainly didn’t want to see them succeed. But for me, the most refreshing thing has been the young people who are really engaged in the show and knew nothing about the Lavender Scare, and are speaking to the show and the characters, but also, aspects of our history that they were unaware of that the show has — I don’t want to say taught them about, because it’s not a teaching tool — but they’ve learned about through the show.
JONATHAN BAILEY: When people respond in that way and you hear their personal stories, it’s amazing that people feel that they want to share that. It’s the most grounding thing to tell a story and investigate a time or a period or a movement, that hopefully leaves an imprint on people, and/or catalyzes them to tell people and talk about their own stuff. That’s the dream, really.
Jonathan, it’s so heartbreaking to watch Tim hurting in various scenes. What were you pulling from to give such a strong emotional performance? 
BAILEY: Thirty-five years on this earth. (Laughs.) Drawing it from the ground. Naturally, it’s totally parts of me and parts of people that I know, experiences that you think of. Tim’s character arc is so huge, and [I wanted] to capture his youth in those early moments and then expand into what breaks such a pure, optimistic, passionate soul and all the different ways in which that could show itself. There were moments on set that you couldn’t help but be incredibly moved by. 
We found ourselves filming by coincidence on World Aids Day. It is really not hard to feel the importance, but also just the grief is palpable in the stories. And there is a lineage — you inherit this in your community. It just felt like an opportunity to learn as much as I possibly could, generally, about the queer experience. We are surrounded by amazing gay men, as well. And then, of course, I’ve lived my life trying to understand the gay experience, so it wasn’t a shallow pool to [pull from].There’s a well there.
Matt, your character is so cutthroat, but obviously there’s sympathy for him, as well. What was it like playing Hawk?
BOMER: Hawk does what he has to do to survive. He has his empathy and his allegiances, but anything that calls his survival into question, there are immediate and severe boundaries. But then enters Tim, who is so guileless and so full of love and all the things that Hawk wishes he could be at his core, or maybe once was before certain aspects of his life changed that or his point of view about that. You’re always looking for a shadow in your character, and it was so refreshing — he obviously has a public persona, a veneer that he presents to the world in order to maneuver in it, but he really leads with a lot of the more shadowy aspects of a typical character. It’s the love and the more open and vulnerable aspects that are his shadow in many ways. That was an interesting flip for me to get to sink my teeth into. 
It’s profound to have two gay actors playing two gay characters on a TV show. Did you ever think something like this could exist?
BOMER: Honestly, no. My mind has been blown so many times over the past 20 years. I’m just so grateful that the gatekeepers gave us this opportunity. I was doubtful, almost up to the 25th hour on this, that they were really going to put the money and the opportunity into this series that they did. And I’m just so grateful that people who are in the position of calling the shots gave us the chance to tell the story — and the way we needed to.
BAILEY: It’s the Tims of the industry, who are searching for more, who are deconstructing, who are questioning. Because they’re all a similar peer group — [series creator] Ron [Nyswaner] knows Dante [Di Loreto, executive producer of Glee and P-Valley], who’s at Fremantle [which produced the show], and they’ve worked together for years. This isn’t something that just got commissioned overnight, because there’s a wave of progress. The people who are really doing it, as well as the actors, are the people in positions of power who have worked their way up with these questions.
And it’s funny, the one thing I have thought over the years is — I’ve just looked at gay characters, they’re such rich, brilliant, oppressed, complicated, joyous characters to play, so of course people want to play them. And this is a brilliant example of: What better way to do a character study of two polar-opposite gay characters than have gay people play them? But that’s what I felt growing up. I just thought, “Of course people want to play those parts,” which is great. It’s just, what happens if, just for a moment, gay people play them?
And I do think that everyone can play everything, and that’s what we should be headed toward. But I do think there’s a balance that needs, and needed, addressing. And there are a lot of people whose questioning and hard work have created a world in which this can fly.
BOMER: I agree with you wholeheartedly. And it is the Tims of the industry or maybe some Hawks, too, hoping for retribution.
BAILEY: That’s true. We stand on the shoulders of all the Hawks, as well. 
BOMER: (Laughs.)
BAILEY: [The Hawks] did all the work at MGM, yes. (Laughs.)
Jonathan, your character drinking milk in the series got a lot of attention. 
BAILEY: It was a brilliant way of showing such naiveté, and immediately you know that this is a character who’s completely outside the world Hawk inhabits, and he sees the world completely differently. He’s so open. It’s so interesting, isn’t it? Because, it’s funny that Tim leads with his heart and his openness and his childlike wonder, and his shadows are his compulsive nature of constantly needing something that he can’t fill. There’s a moment in episode six — they’re in Frankie’s flat, and I was like, “He’s got to be drinking milk.”
BOMER: There was a power shift in episode eight, too.
BAILEY: Exactly. The milk was on the call sheet. It’s a character in its own right. And also the milk’s character arc is more dramatic than everyone else. Give it a spinoff, I say. (Laughs.)
There was also that toe-sucking scene. Jonathan, did you get the script and it said “suck toe”? 
BOMER: Just “suck toe.” (Laughs.)
BAILEY: It was very, very precisely written down — it was as precise as it needed to be. I saw that as an incredible way to dissect power. I got it when I read it, and I wasn’t intimidated by it. I was just like, “If in the first episode that’s what we are doing, it’s going to be worth five months moving to Toronto, and it’s going to be a series that I would want to watch.” Because not only is it incredibly complicated, not only is it really hot, it’s also something that masks as being provocative, but actually it’s really psychologically impactful and the people who get it get it.
BOMER: I think all those scenes were a really external representation of what was going on with these characters internally, emotionally. And for me, it was really refreshing to see the gay love scenes brought to light in a really unflinching way.
BAILEY: The shock and overwhelm and the tantalizing chemical combustion that happens seeing it — it’s a greater sensory experience because that’s exactly what it meant for Tim in that moment. It captures exactly what’s going on for Hawk and Tim, hopefully, allowing the viewer to experience a bodily reaction to it in the same way, whatever that may be. 
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bbobpul · 10 months
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break my heart again 2 — njm
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PAIRING. na jaemin x reader SUMMARY.how's jaemin gonna give back for all of y/n's efforts now that he finally can? it's been years—just how much has everything changed? GENRE. angst, fluff, she fell first 🤭 W/C. 3.5k NOTE. hello, part two is here! so sorry i couldn't make a taglist. i didn't have time to make one. nevertheless, i hope this fic make its way back to you. love u all and thankies sm !!!! also, my requests are open !!!
(⁠☉⁠。⁠☉⁠)⁠!⁠→ my other works !!!!!! part one here!!
i find it hard to picture myself ever being as dedicated to something or someone again, just like how i dedicated my entire college life to na jaemin.
lately, i've been feeling like i forgot what it's like to actually have a dream. back then, na jaemin was my dream, he was my driving force. i would force myself to wake up so early in the morning just so i could see him (or his car) enter the gates of the university. i would go to school even though i am sick and feel a lot better when i get home because i saw na jaemin. but now two years after graduating, i still haven't found a decent job that i actually enjoy.
it's a common experience that many people go through, and i suppose i shouldn't complain about it. maybe i need to put in more effort and push myself harder. part of me wonders if having na jaemin back in my life would rekindle that same sense of dedication that i once had. but as i say these thoughts out loud, they sound absurd, even to myself. why would i wish for my first love to return just so i could find a decent job? why would i long for na jaemin to come back merely to feel that spark in my life again? it's puzzling why i'm even dwelling on thoughts of him and wondering if he holds the key to my happiness and success.
oh, to dream.
oh, for that old dedication to still burn within you.
if only you hadn't acted so dumb that day. could life have taken a different path? are you even happy now? if you hadn't let fear hold you back back then, if you'd actually been brave enough to listen and follow through, would you be happier today?
but no matter how much you keep bothering yourself with that memory, if people come up to you and ask if you feel bad about everything that happened that day, you'd say no. you don't feel bad at all.
deciding to let him go was one of the best things you did. he seemed happy when you left, and after that, you never heard anything about him. he's like a touchy subject in your group of friends, which can be tough sometimes since you share friends. but does it really matter now? him not being in your life probably means he's happier and more peaceful, right?
are you feeling peaceful? is being stuck in a 9-5 job that hardly brought you joy a happy situation? scratch that. did being in that job make you happy? clearly not, as you've just mustered the bravery to quit. and in doing so, you've never felt more joyful.
did you really make the right decision?
just as you were pondering your own question, your phone buzzed on the bedside table. you grabbed it and saw that the caller was renjun, your incredibly patient best friend.
"y/n," he said, his tone becoming unusually serious. "what's up?" you asked. "do you need money?" "yeah?" "here's the deal: our college is putting together a documentary film, and they've chosen your department. but guess what? your old classmates are bombarding me with messages because it looks like you're ignoring them all. frankly, i can't believe you even answered my call," he griped. "wait, hold on. what film? and why would they pick me? are they searching for someone with a post-college life so sad that it belongs in a documentary?" "well, you were practically a legend back in college, so… and apparently, the director specifically wants you, which leads to… well, another issue…" "what's the problem now?" "it's going to be directed by jaemin."
and just like that, you ended the call. but a few seconds later, renjun's call came in again.
"i'm not going to do it." "you stubborn brat." "why him?" "i have no idea!" "why is he even directing? wasn't he studying architecture or something?" "i don't know, y/n. i haven't heard a single thing about him since your graduation." "what do you mean?" "that's not important now, y/n. you're in need of money, right? seize the opportunity. do it for the cash." “so will you do it or will you do it?” “for the cash.”
...
"y/n, you've moved on, haven't you? what's done is done. i'm pretty sure jaemin has forgotten all about it. this chance is coming your way, so just accept it." "i guess i will."
you're drawn in by the idea of making some extra money and the possibility of catching the eye of potential agents or employers. right now, you're at a crossroads, thinking about how this documentary could be a stepping stone to more job opportunities down the line. this situation is different from what usually drives you – this time, it's not about others, it's about focusing on your own goals and aspirations.
you're deliberately avoiding dwelling on your past. just as renjun mentioned, you've moved beyond it. what's done is done. right now, your focus is firmly on the present and the potential that lies ahead in the future.
what's in the past is behind us, including whatever existed between jaemin and you.
from renjun
tomorrow at lunchtime, they'll be going over the schedules and discussing what to film. if you want, you can chat with the director now. his number is 0825 813 2000.
in response, you simply replied with a "okay."
the night before the lunch meeting, a jumble of emotions has you in its grip. the idea of reconnecting with jaemin, who used to be your best friend and is now someone distant, fills you with a sense of awkwardness. you tell yourself that this is about working together and the chance to grow professionally.
after taking a deep breath, you decide to shoot jaemin a text. your fingers hesitate as you type, and the uncertainty you're feeling seems to seep into your message. you finally press send, and your text reads, "hey, it's y/n. heard we're meeting tomorrow for the documentary. just wanted to check in before that."
in almost no time, your phone buzzes with a response: "hey y/n, good to hear from you. yeah, looking forward to our meeting. let's catch up and chat about the project."
the conversation is polite, but beneath the surface, there's an unspoken layer of complexity. you can feel the hesitation in your exchange, a silent recognition of the shared history that's now a distant memory. as you talk about the meeting and the documentary, the easy flow you once had is noticeably absent.
as the texts go back and forth, a sense of tension seems to hang in the air. it's as though the years of friendship you once had are casting a shadow over your conversation. the effortless connection you once shared now requires effort, and both of you can sense the change.
as the conversation wraps up with a simple "see you tomorrow," you're left with a mix of excitement and anxiety. the idea of seeing jaemin again, especially in a professional context, stirs up a range of emotions. this situation is a stark reminder of just how much things have changed – and maybe how some things can't go back to the way they were.
you believed the conversation had concluded, only for your phone to ring once more, bearing yet another message from him. as you read the words on the screen, "i missed you, y/n," a rush of emotions floods over you.
"what's going on with him?" you mutter to yourself, your eyebrows knitting together in confusion. your gaze remains fixed on the message for a moment, your attention drawn to the three blinking dots in the corner – a sign that he's in the process of typing a response. several more seconds tick by, the dots eventually vanishing, and in response, you shut your phone off. you make an attempt to settle into bed and get some rest, but truth be told, it's hard to claim you managed to sleep soundly that night. an undercurrent of thoughts and emotions keeps your mind restless.
the day of lunch lunch finally arrived. you sat across from jaemin, his words forming a distant hum as your thoughts remained clouded and preoccupied. the lingering impact of his recent message kept you in a state of unease, making it difficult to fully engage in the conversation he was leading.
then, something inside you snapped, and you found yourself abruptly interrupting him with a question that had been gnawing at you, "why me?"
he looked at you, his gaze steady, and his response was quick, "why not you?"
your frustration simmered as his words hit you. he was choosing to be cryptic, and it was only adding to your confusion. pushing past your exasperation, you pressed on, "listen, i know we didn't part on the best terms, but why come back now and act like everything's fine? i mean, sure, it's better than hostility, but why choose me? i'm the one who's no longer part of your life."
his expression remained neutral, void of any emotions as he replied, "that's not true."
you raised an eyebrow, challenging him to elaborate. "what's not true?"
"that you have nothing to do with my life, y/n," he stated firmly.
the weight of his words settled heavily between you two, the gravity of the situation growing more apparent. the lunch table had transformed into an arena for confronting unresolved issues.
you scoffed, unable to hold back your disbelief. "jaemin, i made one mistake, and now you're trying to imply that my actions shaped your entire life?"
his eyes held yours, unwavering. "y/n, it's not just about that one mistake. everything that followed, everything that shaped who i am today… it's all connected to you."
your mind reeled, trying to grasp the enormity of what he was suggesting. the complexities of your shared history seemed to crash over you, leaving you grappling with a whirlwind of emotions and a tangled web of unspoken feelings.
the weight of his words left you momentarily speechless, and in an attempt to shift away from the intensity, you sought to change the subject. "where are the other producers? why is it just you here?"
"y/n…" he began, his tone suggesting he wanted to continue the previous conversation.
however, you opted to sidestep the discussion entirely. you pretended as if the profound exchange hadn't just occurred. "i notice you're taking on the role of a director now. quite the career shift, huh?" you inquired, masking your internal turmoil with a casual demeanor. you acted as if there hadn't been a two-year gap in your connection, as though things between you were perfectly ordinary.
he met your gaze, a faint hint of something unreadable in his eyes. "i pursued another dream when i felt i'd lost the chance for my first one."
"your first dream… not architecture, then?" you prodded, curious about the direction he had taken.
he shook his head, a soft chuckle escaping him, leaving you puzzled yet again. "no, not architecture. well, i suppose that just wasn't meant for me back then, but maybe it is now."
the cryptic nature of his response only added to the layers of confusion and intrigue that surrounded him. there was something about the way he spoke that hinted at deeper currents beneath the surface, emotions and experiences that he hadn't fully revealed. you found yourself torn between the desire to push for answers and the instinct to allow him his privacy. the lunch meeting had transformed into a stage for untangling not just the complexities of the documentary but also the intricate web of emotions and history between you and jaemin.
leaving the restaurant, a whirlwind of unanswered questions dances in your mind. yet, for now, you choose to tuck those thoughts away, focusing instead on the looming filming date just a few days away – next saturday.
in the span of time between that lunch and the upcoming shoot, jaemin proves consistent in his attempts to bridge the gap between you two. he regularly reaches out, updating you about his day and proposing get-togethers, which you consistently decline.
the days pass, marked by a series of messages and missed opportunities. despite the undeniable tension, there's an undeniable persistence on jaemin's part, a determined effort to reconnect and reestablish a sense of familiarity. however, your apprehensions and the memories of your past dynamics hold you back, keeping you from embracing his overtures.
as the countdown to the filming day continues, you find yourself in a delicate dance – balancing the unresolved history between you and the prospects of the future. the lines between your personal and professional lives are blurred, and the documentary project becomes a backdrop against which the intricacies of your relationship with jaemin play out.
you find yourself constantly pondering what his intentions could be. his actions leave you wondering, and you can't help but question what he's aiming for. in your perspective, you're merely a negative aspect of his life – a streak of misfortune. you would have expected him to have learned from the past, but his determination remains unshakeable.
as you contemplate these thoughts, your phone lights up once more, bearing yet another message from him. his name on the screen triggers a whirlwind of emotions – a mixture of uncertainty, annoyance, and a hint of curiosity. opening the message, you brace yourself for whatever he might convey this time. the consistency in his attempts at communication only serves to deepen the intricate web of emotions you hold for him, leaving you caught between your shared history and the unpredictability of the present.
"the offer's still there, y/n. :)" "jaemin, let's be real. just because i'm on board with your documentary idea doesn't mean we're suddenly best buds again. a lot has changed." "i want to reconnect, though." "actually, scratch that. i want to get to know you all over again." "jaemin, i appreciate the effort, but let's keep things professional, okay?" “i’m sorry, y/n. goodnight.”
after your straightforward message, his responses ceased. a silence settled in, stretching on until saturday – the day you were set to see him again. the anticipation and uncertainty had been building, and now the moment was finally at hand.
you stepped into the studio and immediately noticed that you and jaemin were the only ones present. your confusion must have been evident on your face, prompting him to address the situation promptly.
"um, the team thought having fewer people in the room would create a more personal atmosphere," he began, his voice carrying a hint of unease. "and, well, they decided to keep me here, you know, being the director and all, and also because we have a history…"
his words trailed off, and there was a subtle vulnerability in his tone. it was as if he was acknowledging the intricacies of your past connection, while simultaneously recognizing the complexities it introduced into your current dynamic. the studio, usually a place of creativity and collaboration, had transformed into a space laden with the weight of your shared history.
"it's okay," you responded, your words carrying a touch of reassurance. as your reply registered, a faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips – a detail you couldn't help but notice. after all, it was that very smile that had ignited four years of your life, a smile that held memories and emotions you had both shared.
"um, i'll just ask you a few questions, and then you're free to go," he stated, his voice carrying a hint of nervousness that didn't escape your notice. this new facet of his demeanor felt unfamiliar to you, a departure from the confident jaemin you had known.
you found yourself disliking this uneasiness, and a thought occurred to you – maybe it was time to rekindle something within him. as he began asking you questions, you decided to respond in a way that would evoke a certain familiarity between you two. it was a subtle attempt to bridge the gap, to draw out the person you once knew.
you had believed that his silence was what you wanted. you had convinced yourself that distancing yourself from him would protect you from the past mistakes. but now, facing the reality of the situation, you realized that perhaps a certain selfishness was ingrained within you. maybe, just maybe, you yearned to erase the distance, to defy your own rationalizations.
in this moment, you found yourself yearning to rekindle what had been lost, to bring back a connection that once meant so much. the conflicting emotions within you painted a complex picture of your desires – a battle between self-preservation and the longing for something more.
however, as you locked eyes with him and saw the lack of any discernible emotion in his gaze, a haunting wave of fear resurfaced within you. in that moment, it was as if time rewound, taking you back to the day of your graduation when your heart and spirit had felt shattered. the memory of that painful experience rushed back, accompanied by the doubts and uncertainties that had plagued you.
if you were to truly confront your own feelings, you'd admit that what you witnessed that night had left you questioning your own worth. the events had stirred up doubts about whether you had ever been deserving of taking risks for, whether you had ever been someone worth fighting for.
"hey, good morning, y/n."
"morning, director."
"how's today treating you?"
"pretty good, thanks."
"hmm, and what's life been like after college?"
"…"
"take your time."
"at first, i felt okay. my friends were all getting closer to their dreams, and i was genuinely happy for them. especially…"
"especially who?"
"especially the person i left behind."
"…"
"i was content being happy for someone else. then another year went by, and i wasn't feeling so great anymore."
"do you really think they're happy?"
"hmm?"
"the person you left behind."
"yeah. and my other friends seem happy too. they've got jobs they love, they're with people they care about, and i only had… renjun *laughs* … but sometimes, i can't help but feel like i'm the one who got left behind, you know? even though i was the one who walked away."
"let's talk about your person."
"oh *laughs* he's not my person."
pausing for a moment, you glanced at jaemin behind the camera. the question lingered in your mind: what was he trying to do? his actions and intentions remained a puzzle.
his expression grew serious, his gaze fixed intently on you. it was as if he had something to convey, something he was holding back.
"the last time i actually saw him was in an instagram post. he was with some girl. it happened on my graduation day. i waited the whole day, hoping he'd appear in the midst of the crowd. when he didn't, i held onto the possibility of seeing him by the gates. but that didn't happen either. my last hope was maybe he'd send me a single message, but by the end of the day, nothing came. then i went on instagram and saw a photo – a warning, i guess. a warning that i should just stop hoping. that… happened a few weeks later, i think. or maybe it was just a few days after our argument, the one where he told me he couldn't love… yeah."
you met his gaze and once again, his face was serious. his eyes were furrowed and his mouth was slightly open. a few moments passed, and he let out a shaky breath. screw it, you thought, it's out there now and i don't care anymore.
your silent exchange was interrupted as he shifted the camera away. confusion clouded your thoughts as you watched him move. he turned back to you, his expression still serious, and then he grabbed a chair from the nearby table. he sat down with his back facing you.
the room felt charged with unspoken emotions, leaving you to question his intentions and actions. it was as if he was peeling away layers, searching for something beneath the surface.
"did you know that…" he began, his voice breaking the silence. "she was his sister?"
"i never told you about her, that's on me," he admitted with a chuckle. "that was her last day, y/n. so i decided to spend the entire day with her. i'm sorry."
you were taken aback. "i'm sorry–"
"it's okay, y/n."
"i know i left you with so many questions that night, but let me tell you… every effort you made, every cookie you baked, i cherished all of it. i loved you. i'm sorry if my actions made you doubt yourself."
another pause filled the air.
"i left when you left."
"you were my dream. architecture wasn't really my passion, you know? i was struggling a lot, but luckily, you were there with me. i decided to chase after what i truly loved when you left, because i realized if i wanted you back in my life, it should be when i'm at my best, right? i wasn't lying when i said i couldn't love. i didn't want to love you when i was broken. i wanted to be the best version of myself for you. i thought that if i wanted you to be with the best person, then that should be me. so i became that person, a director, and then i planned all of this." his eyes finally met yours.
"i was always looking at you."
tears welled up in your eyes, and he seemed to notice. he took a step towards you and enveloped you in his arms.
"i'm sorry for not holding onto you back then, baby. but i promise, i won't let go of you now," he whispered.
"i'm sorry for leaving, jaemin," you sobbed.
"shh, you did what you thought was right."
"do you want to have lunch with me now?" he asked.
a mixture of emotions flooded your heart, and with a nod, you replied, "yes, jaemin."
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