#these fucking idiots with their dumb faces

[bakubunny]

Happy Friday!

This week I've been obsessed with Kirishima being super flustered trying to figure out how to ask reader out and when he finally does? Reader thought they were already dating because he's just such a gentleman. Now the Bakusquad is teasing him for being dense (mainly Denki bc he's not the "dumb" one this time).

Anyways, here's to another great week! Loves ya! ❤️

hi dear! thanks for stopping by. much love. 🖤 sorry this took a hot minute; i misread the prompt and had to rewrite it. 🤦‍♀️

this is such a sweet idea, and i could see it happening. you’re kind of clueless in the sense that eijiro is very friendly with everyone, but he treats you differently. that must mean something, right? never mind you that he has to stop himself from grabbing your hand or guiding you with his hand on the small of your back instead of your shoulder. and you two get along really well! so of course you sit together. you laugh at each other’s jokes. you hang out all the time. he gets a little red in the face when you look at him a certain way or when you tease him, so you assume he must be a little shy, but things are going well.

and like you said, he’s a manly gentleman who offers his sweatshirt the moment you start to shiver, who always seems to be watching out for you when you’re with him. his smile is so warm and bright with a twinkle in his eye when he looks at you, lingering just a tad too long on your lips. then one night when everyone’s together and you can’t make it, mina and denki are on his case, pestering him with questions.

“…dude, she flirted with you so hard even i could see it, and you spilt your drink down your shirt. i’ve never seen you so clumsy over a girl,” denki teases.

“yeah, what was that the other day? aren’t you two dating?” mina asks.

eijiro turns red. “what? why would you think that?”

“you’re together all the time, so we just assumed because you’re stuck at the hip,” mina continues with a shrug.

and so the conversation ensues of eijiro admitting that he doesn’t know how to ask you out on a date. denki gives the worst advice, and hanta gives him so much shit for not seeing what’s right in front of him. mina is already on a mission to make the big moment happen. katsuki calls eijiro a “fucking idiot” for not saying something sooner, which is him expressing his approval… in his own way. it’s a little awkward when eijiro finally does ask you on a date because you thought that’s what this was, but it works out in the end lmao.

#x reader #kirishima eijirou #on fridays we share with the class

[apalapucian]

they stay behind on the platform, just milling about by one of the columns, watching the comings and goings of parents and students. no one feels like moving. they're quiet, until peter sighs, and says, "can't believe this is the last time." his voice cracks a bit towards the end.

"are you crying, wormy?" asks sirius, sounding comically horrified.

"well, so is james," peter retorts, furiously swiping at his face.

all of them turn to the person in question.

"i'm not," says james, blinking rapidly. "shut up."

"don't cry, james, what the fuck," says remus. "you know if you cry, i cry."

"and if moony cries, i cry," declares sirius. "get a grip. god."

"and if black cries, i cry," adds lily. "so will everybody just calm the fuck down please."

they make each other laugh, taking deep breaths and not meeting anyone's eye to compose themselves. it's stupid. beyond stupid. then lily takes james's hand, her other hand grabbing sirius's, and it starts a domino of hand-holding — sirius gets remus and remus gets peter and peter closes it with james — and they end up in an awkward circle on the side of nine and three-quarters.

"what are we doing," remarks sirius, half-laughing, but not letting go. "we look dumb as fuck."

"being idiots one last time," answers remus.

"no," says james, resolute. "we're being idiots forever. no last time."

"can't believe i'm saying this," says lily, "but i agree. no last time, okay?"

"okay," remus says. "idiots forever then."

"idiots forever," they all chorus, like a strangely solemn pre-game chant.

— one last (on ao3; 3,724 words, complete; written for @jilymicro-oops's may 11 prompt, veil)

#jily #jily* #james potter #lily evans #marauders era #hogwarts jily #mwpp #apalapucian* #also an ode to effie potter for mother's day i guess #<3

[nekodere07]

Tanuki/Raccoon Joel and Kitsune/Fox Etho hide their true identities and pretend to be normal humans HC AU

Folklore AU inspired fr @mellozheist's (thanks for having stunning artwoks dude now I have brainrot and made this when I can't even turn this into a proper fic /pos) character designs of HC s10 Joel and Etho, where the former is a tanuki and the latter is already a fox hybrid but wears Japanese clothing this season. But in this idea, Etho hides the fact that he's a fox, so he looks like any other human until he isn't.

I almost forgot! Any relationship in this story idea is platonic.

Also posted on AO3 if you prefer to read it there :D

Joel reminisces about the time when he was an ogre a few years back, but shuddered since he thought it was cringe for past him to adore that movie so much that he changed into his favorite cartoon character. He looks at Lizzie's direction, and thinks he was relieved when she didn’t criticize him for who he was when she discovered the truth after Joel messed it up before.

While chatting with friends who are gathering in the living room, Joel notices his cup is empty and excuses himself to go to the kitchen, noticing how Grian is also following him. The noise from the living room fades once they arrive, having a quiet moment for themselves. Joel asks if Grian also comes to refill his drink.

Grian nods in agreement and heads to the counter to grab the tea box. Joel stands next to the blonde man as he waits for the other to finish, while Grian talks about how he's relieved to see everyone is doing okay even after months not meeting since the crossover.

Joel raises a brow and points out that obviously they're fine, and adds that why wouldn't they be. Grian explains that even though it was a bit, he was genuinely concerned what might happen to them after the Hermits left Grumbot for the Emperors to deal with.

Joel reassures his friend that as he can see, they're still alive and kicking before adding that Jimmy might not be since Joel's the one doing the kicking, mentioning how he built a giant portrait of them in his empire. Grian laughs as he pours water from the kettle, wishing that he could've seen the look on Timmy's face before offering to pour the water to Joel's own cup.

The brunette hands his as affirmation while saying that he looked exactly like a dumb idiot when he first saw that ghost when they tried that ghost investigator gig a few months back. The comments make both of them laugh and not long after, Grian casually asks if Joel wants to become a Hermit and join Hermitcraft. Joel abruptly stops and has to double back in his thoughts, asking himself if he misheards it but Grian answers his question when he repeats what he said.

There's a long pause of silence between them for a couple of seconds before Joel notices the casual look on the blonde's face morphs into wide eyes with a slacked jaw, tracing his gaze towards his back and twists his stomach into a knot once he notices the prominent brown tail on his back, now exposed for the world to see.

He's fucked.

---

Joel takes a look at the statues of Etho in front of his gate and glances at the real deal beside him, hesitating whether or not he should ask. It might be a touchy subject and he doesn't want to ruin the lighthearted moment they just had earlier. He jumps when someone clears their throat and turns to the source to see it was Etho. Etho says it might not be his business to ask, but questions whether Joel's okay.

Joel furrows his brows as he replies that of course he's okay, why wouldn't he be. Etho rubs the back of his neck as he explains that Joel's tail is slowly wagging while his ears are folded flat against his head, realizing it that Joel does that whenever he's upset about something. Joel smirks that Etho already notices his new body language in such a short period of time, pointing out that he really is obsessed with him.

Shortly, Joel sighs in defeat and says he's not gonna beat around the bush, so Etho should brace himself. Etho raises a brow in confusion and says okay. Joel asks if Etho is a yokai, making Etho flinch.

Etho averts his gaze while saying "I don't know what you're talking about." Etho thinks to himself that he sounded like Mrs. Tango when she tried to lie to them back then.

Joel adds that ever since he's showing off his yokai traits after that embarrassing blunder with Grian, he realizes that he can sense various energy flowing in the air and it's especially stronger on Hermitcraft. He then distinguishes something similar to himself and traces it to Etho, before reassuring that he never told anyone since Etho might be keeping it a secret like he did until recently and he wasn't sure if his assumptions are true or not.

Etho sighs and confirms that he's keeping his identity a secret. He asks Joel why he's hiding his. Joel says that it's been so long since he left Japan for good, long enough that he doesn't remember the language anymore, and was afraid that people might treat him differently if they know that he's a foreign entity. Nobody likes the unknown, so he's been pretending to be a human on different planets most of his life.

Joel then asks why Etho is hiding it, adding that based on the variations of species amongst the Hermits, he assumes that they'll be accepting despite of who Etho really is. Etho shakes his head and says that his kind already has a negative reputation in their home planet, more so outside of it. He doesn't want his species to influence his relationship with everyone. Joel nods in understanding and promises that his secret is safe with him.

Etho's eyes narrow and form crow's feet as he expresses his gratitude, a small indicator that he's smiling under the mask.

---

5 Hermits have been going outside the HC world for various reasons, but they promise to go back with souvenirs. When Gem, Grian, xB, and Zedaph have been falling ill and bedridden since they went back from the Hub, others have been trying to find a way on how to cure this unknown ailment that won't subside no matter what.

Etho, who's been one of the 5 but is miraculously fine, is never to be found publicly ever since the news about 4 Hermits being ill has spread. They see him going to the shopping district but never interact for that long whenever he meets someone.

The nerds of the community have been holing themselves in the archives of the stronghold to hopefully find a clue for the cure, only for them to find a book about yokai. They discover about tanuki, comparing it to what they know about Joel and laugh about how accurate the book is, especially about the part of Joel who traps/pranks someone but ends up embarrassing himself. Tango suddenly asks if his friends hear something, but they said no.

They continue to read until they reach the kitsune segment. They're horrified to say the least about the info, and realize there are similarities between the early signs of fox possession and the symptoms of their friends' unknown illness. They're trying not to be superstitious about the current situation since it might be a coincidence, until X receives a message from Cleo.

---

< Smallishbeans > hello Etho

< Smallishbeans > i tried to visit your place a couple of times but it always seemed like no one's home

< Smallishbeans > hopefully you're okay

< Smallishbeans > i just want you to know that it isn't your fault

---

They run to the infirmary, only to spot the 4 Hermits breathing heavily and convulsing as their hair roots start to turn white. Stress checks their eyes with a tiny flashlight one by one, and only then Cub sees that all their eyes are red and points it out. Tango says that he's aware that they shouldn't be superstitious, but he mentions that Etho's appearance oddly matches the descriptions in the book.

Doc agrees since he just remembered it now, but Etho's hair and both his eyes used to be brown until he apparently got caught up in an accident that changed his appearance permanently. Doc groans in frustration that he should've pressed about it more, but he didn't want to stress Etho since he wanted to keep that event a secret so badly.

Bdubs suddenly interrupts them with his greeting, making the nerds jump. Bdubs questions "Why the long face? It's not yet the end of the world, guys. There has to be something to cure them, we just haven't found it yet." Doc asks if Etho has spoken a different language other than English.

Bdubs perks and grins to compliment how Etho was really good with Japanese. During the early days of Mindcrack, he used to speak it a lot whenever they're alone and tease Bdubs just because he couldn't understand it. He then yells that no one can mess with him since he's a grown man and points that he only allowed Etho to tease him since he was pretty tense during that time, and switches to somber as he adds that it's prob bec of the tension before the war broke out. But since they left and moved to Hermitcraft, he refused to speak in Japanese even if no one was around.

When every healthy Hermit is kicked out by Stress, Cleo, and Hypno, they go outside to see others hanging out with various forms of worry in their faces.

X spots Beef amongst the crowd and asks the other nerds if they should ask Beef if he knows something else about Etho. Doc agrees and approaches Beef and receives a sorry fr the Canadian about not being in the mood to talk about their rivalry. Doc reassures that that's not why he's here, adding that it's about Etho.

Beef's reaction immediately switches to something dark as he asks "What happened to Etho?" Doc quickly says that Etho's okay, making the other Canadian relax, and he just wanna ask what's under his mask. He knows what he looks like underneath, but he's curious if it's different from many years ago.

Beef thinks aloud that there's nothing really different. Doc insists if he's sure, adding if there's anything subtle like unshaven chin or a tooth missing. Beef perks up "Now that you mention it, Etho used to have all of his canines intact but after we left Mindcrack, they may have grown longer, I think. It was so long ago, I don't remember the exact details. Oh, I almost forgot! He also lost one of them ever since then."

Doc agrees "Oh, yeah! I remember helping him make a substitute tooth, so he won't complain anymore about having a hard time biting meat" before thanking Beef as the nerds leave the scene, not noticing how a gaze has been following them the entire time.

Cub asks what they should do now, and if they search for other leads or rely on the superstition. Doc says that it's time for a confrontation. X points out that it's probably not a good idea to jump into conclusions when they're still unsure if it's a coincidence or not.

Doc replies that it'll probably be too late when that time comes, grimacing that he doesn't want to lose the people he cares about even though they're within reach. X sighs and agrees, but suggests that they should at least prepare in case something happens.

---

Etho brings in more shulkers into his soon to be storage area, dropping the one on his hands and wipe the sweat off his forehead with a sleeve. He's not sure how long he's been working in his base but based on how greasy his hair is, he must've been here for a long time. He turned off his comms ever since that accident, so he doesn't have any indicator of time other than what he can see beyond his windows. Electricity runs through his skin all of a sudden, making him jump as the magic in the air buzzes with tremendous energy.

Before he realizes, Etho jumps back the instant he hears something above him and just in time, he barely dodges the collapsed ceiling with a backward jump as everything is engulfed with smoke and something lands on the spot where he used to be.

He plants his hand towards the hilt of his sword in an instant, waiting for the cloud of smoke to clear. A spot in the middle of the mist forms a hole as something blurry comes out and pounces towards his direction, materializing the shield on his left hand in reflex and grunts once the unknown intruder lands on the wooden surface.

Etho gasps at the person in front of him, staring at their features with mouth agape. Their skin is now pale and hair gray, glaring eyes are fully white while red vein-like marks spread out to each corner. Their clawed hand raise above their head and swipes forward with tremendous speed, making Etho throw and abandon his protection but doesn't come out unscathed as their long nails grab his mask and graze small jagged lines on the lower half of his now exposed face.

His hand immediately covers his face while Scar yells to give his friends back. Etho can only furrow his brows in confusion. What does that mean? The other Hermit scoffs and complains to stop playing dumb, gradually emitting his magic stronger in every second as he adds "You have some nerve pretending to be one of us for so long," making Etho wince.

Why did he think for a second that it's going to be different this time? Just because he's been having the time of his life for the past ten years in this world, doesn't mean it won't end up like all the other places he perceived as his home.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, opening them back while he exhales and stifles his reaction towards the painful sensation in his chest, finally feeling like an empty room as he pulls out his sword.

The two jump forward as they begin their fierce interaction. It extends for who knows how long and unfortunately for Etho, his breath is becoming shorter and more hasty the longer the fight unfolds but due to his opponent's enormous magic reserve, Scar can still continue despite having run out of air like he did.

Suddenly, the former brunette disappears from his vision and quickly looks around but spots nothing. His ears pick up the noise of a pebble dropping and swiftly turns back, only to see Scar emerging from the ground like a ghost as he leaps to his direction but barely side steps with wobbly legs to dodge. It probably would've given him a huge advantage if he uses his animal ears, but he can't afford to expose himself now.

Gradually, his movements become sloppier and clumsier, even stumbling at a debris at one point that costs him his right arm.

Scar swipes his hand towards Etho's weapon, causing it to slip from the weak grip of his left hand before it flies and lands on the other side of their current position. Scar demands for the creature pretending to be Etho to let go of his friends if it wants to live, but Etho's reply is only his harsh breaths as he quietly stares at the other Hermit's direction.

Scar grits his sharp teeth and mumbles "then so be it" before stepping forward to swipe his claws. Etho shuts his eyes in anticipation of his demise but nothing seems to happen as he waits too long. He slowly opens them and spots something in front off him, gasping to see Joel standing between them. He looks down on the new member's feet to see the blood gradually forming into a pool before looking back up to make eye contact with the man himself.

"Joel, why are you--" Etho's breath is caught in his throat as he tries to ask.

"I--" Joel tries to smile but coughs blood instead. "--wanted to... visit my favorite fan..." He winces before breathing heavily. "...to see how he's going."

Joel drops to the floor but Etho manages to catch him on time, carefully laying his friend's head towards the green surface. He takes in Joel's pale features but every detail morphs into a blur, realizing shortly that he's crying. The only thing he can hear is the drumming of his heart against his aching chest as he can barely see Joel's lips moving, assuming that he's attempting to say something.

Wiping the ongoing tears vigorously wih his sleeve, Etho focuses on lip reading to understand what the brunette is trying to convey.

"I'm... glad... that... you're... safe..."

Etho interprets before seeing Joel's lips finally stop moving, intensifying the thumping in his ears as he registers that Joel's chest has also ceased to rise and fall. As if a rope has been cut in half, all of the decade's worth of suppressed energy in his body has unleashed like a tsunami, engulfing his entire being and immediately blacks out.

Scar, who's watching the whole ordeal unfolding before him, loses all his pent up rage while he can only gape in silence as Etho's forehead sprouts a pair of long fluffy ears, pristine white fur covering every part of his pale skin, nose and mouth lengthen into a snout with razor sharp teeth, tears multiple holes on his gloves as his nails extend into deadly claws, torso and limbs enlarge 5 times its original size while his back grow one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine tails, morphing his body into an entirely different entity.

The unknown creature roars, its voice reverberating and pushes him down like amplified gravity but barely holds his ground with wobbly legs as he can only cover his currently enhanced ears in hopes of preventing himself from going deaf.

What did he just awaken?

Not so fun fact:

[There are actually fox users who are hired by Hermitcraft haters to inflict harm on the Hermits, who had to go to the Hub before going to the specified planets they wanted to go. Those fox users use the foxes they tamed to possess the Hermits but Etho is different since he's a nine tailed fox shapeshifting as a human, so he's unaffected by it.]

[The reason why Etho's insistent on keeping his identity a secret was mainly bec of his experience in Mindcrack, when the people discovered who he actually was, they reacted negatively to say the least. He also kept that event a secret bec he was ambushed by a few members when Mindcrack was on the brink of destruction, and tortured him for info (and may or may not have treated him more terribly bec they knew he was a fox) but he refused to give any since he didn't want to sell out his friends (soon to be NHO), which caused him the scar on his left eye and lost control of his power and shapeshifting ability in the process, which prevented him from properly changing his human appearance.

He also can no longer change into anything else, so he's stuck as his human self. Luckily, he could still somehow hide his ears, tails, and eye, but the left one refused to change, so he just made an excuse that he had to make a redstone powered eye to replace his injured eye to explain that despite being wounded there, he managed to not damage his vision there.]

#hermitcraft #hermitblr #smallishbeans #ethoslab #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing #writing ideas #fanfiction #nekodere07

[shyrule]

it’s my personal mission to give wars his eyeshadow back

#also his stupid fucking clueless idiot face too #because he is STUPID #ABSOLUTELY DUMB #COMPLETELY

[chromosoid]

I’m on season 2 ep 12 of the blacklist and Liz has got to be the most DENSE bitch like how many in your face hints does it take for her to finally get Reds her dad

#like she’s dumb as fuck #its so in your face gorl #like basically everyone’s kinda picking it up #BUT HER #gorl dense as fuck #please someone tell me #how many more seasons of her being an idiot #until she finally gets it #the blacklist #agent keen #elizabeth keen #raymond reddington #Red

[meownotgood]

no context aki looks like a f*ckboy for real. because we know his personality and all we wouldn't even imagine that, but if you take randoms pics of him he does look like a ceo in a suit with a handsome face, tall and just irresistible that makes all the girls swoon, smokes because he's cool, looks over your shoulder and has a mysterious aura. also his spit kink looks very f*ckboy to me and his face screams pussy lover.

you're right, but he only looks like this about 10% of the time

90% of the time he looks like this:

#he may look cool on the surface #but once you see him for more than a few seconds #that's when you realize #he is an idiot #hell he gets kicked in the balls and fucking humiliated in his very first appearance #you can't see that and still have that perception of him #he's a goofball #ask mags #also scratch that #he only looks that way like 2% of the time #ESPECIALLY IN THE MANGA #HE LOOKS SO CUTE AND DUMB #'his face screams pussy lover' I DON'T GET THIS BUT IT MADE ME LAUGH

[twistedappletree]

look i may not show it often but if there’s one danmei ship other than zhuiling that i’m absolutely feral about, it’s wenzhou

#like #i actually fucking hate them #stupid ass dumb idiot bitches i H A T E THEM SM #absolute delectable embarrassingly gay married trash #i want to SM ACK their STUPID FACES togeTGER UNTIL THCEY FCK ING MERGE INHTO 1 COLLECTIVE QUEER ABOMINAT I ON #they’re so gay they’re so fuc king gay literally one of the most unapologetically gaYEST danmei couples in existence and im #go n a b arf #apple babble 🍎

[bonerey]

gordon calling ppl bud....... IM SICK..........

#hhhghhghghhhhhhhhhhh #hes so. hes very. he #stupid dumb fucking men with their stupid dumb pretty voices and stupid dumb dumb idiot stupid faces and fuck man. Fuck #i need to be put down like a dog.

[killerandhealerqueen]

It always amazes me when I go into the comments of a video (idk why i do it, it's just a habit that i really need to kick) showing context for a scenario but people try to give context for another scenario to fit what's going in the video

#like the video i was watching #was a group of girls doing their makeup #and one girl is like “wow you guys take forever!” #and all the girls side eye her #and we all CLEARLY know that the girl that just made the comment is a pick me (in the scenario) #because she doesn't wear makeup so she doesn't take as long #that's literally what the context of the video is #but people in the comments are trying to say that the comment is about someone taking too long to do their makeup #when they need to be somewhere #like you fucking idiots that's not what's going on here #the fucking context just flew right over your head didn't it? #people who do makeup know that if their makeup takes a certain amount of time #they get ready earlier #that's just how it works #we always give ourselves at least an hour or two AHEAD of where we're going to get ready #and if we know we ain't gonna be putting on a full face #we can just pop on some eyeliner or mascara and call it good #but no #people are dumb #and try to make/give context for something that isn't even REMOTELY the fucking same

[achairwithapandaonit]

Can't believe my current hyperfixation broke me out of my month long streak of being unable to write anything just to write a potentially long ass byler fic when I never write romance. I'm so fixated on the idea of will getting to have something good happen to him

#stranger things #byler #and the worst part is (i say as if this isn't the thing i find fun) that my brain gets obsessed with character dynamics #and currently i belive the theory that mike has been a closeted homosexual this whole time and has been pushing his feelings for will onto #el (tho i'll be psyched if it turns out he's bi. it's just that the closeted homosexual theory seems to have more evidence pointing towards #it) #so because of that there's more than just will and mike to consider #el needs proper closure and understanding of the situation #and mike needs to confront that maybe he's never liked girls and that he can love el and it doesn't need to be romantic #and i also need to throw in will subtly coming out because mike was prodding into the idea of him having a crush on someone ELSE (gasp! #shock! horror!) #and guessed max of all people just cause she was the only girl in hawkins he could think of. and like he's just a fucking idiot huh #and then he thinks oh yeah maybe will likes boys and he's so fucking stupid that he can't see what's right in front of his face #even when will is like uhhh no?? i don't like lucas like that u idiot?? but would it be a problem if i like boys? #and mike is like oh fuck is that an option while in his head. and saying no that'd he great. cause he's so fucking gay #and he's just so dumb. he's a mess. i'd love to study him. i mean i am technically. isn't that what writing a fic from mike's pov is about #sorry for the rant my brain hasn't shut up for over a week #and then after all of this i'm gonna have to keep going huh #i'm gonna have to vecna SOMEONE #what is this gonna be??? like a 10K one-shot??? PANDA??? #if i never finish this i'm literally gonna be so mad

[drbtinglecannon]

Really love that some conspiracy theory brainrotted dipshit can spout lies and nazi propaganda for 10 min straight to no one being bothered but the second I turned to him and said "You know literally none of that is true" the entire room tenses and gets upset

#definitely think I ruined any chances of getting to volunteer at the humane society now for doing that but holy fuck that guy was stupid #anyway we got another catson. I'll make a different post about that in a bit #but I did love seeing the guy's face when I informed him to be able to go to school he had to be vaxxed for dozens of things so no his blood #isn't “pure”. dumb fuckhead. also LOVE that he was unmasked bragging about not having the covid vaccine at all #have fun dying ig but don't do it around other people you selfish idiot #anyway #wear a fucking mask #flu & covid are rampant rn. and in case you don't gaf about others like that guy doesn't do it so you yourself don't fucking die

[ozymoron]

had to get out of the shower to grab my phone to fucking say this cause im like seething rn why thr fuck didnt morgan and spencer wear gasmaesks to that fucking place whrnthey knew there would be fucking anthrax like ik they were trying not to scare the public but jesus fucking crhist they walk into a biilding and just decide not to wear a fucking mask im actialy killing both of them theyre both dead i fucking killed them theyre so stupid and i hate them both WHY DIDNT THEY WEAR FUCKING GASMASKS WHEN THEY KNEW THERE MIGHT BE FUCKING ANTHRAX HOLY FICKING SHIT i hope they both get a tiny papercut that hurts fir a wee while and then heals

#⚠️ #personal #ozy watches criminal minds #i xant do this shit anymore man #they all survived but like fuck dude #are you stupid. girl. *grabs spencers face* are you a fucking idiot. are you dumb.

[gamelost]

stupid. i want to hunt him for sport.

#dumb idiot.. i kiss him on the fucking face #𝖒. « 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋? / out. »

[lestatlioncunt]

WIP DAY. (or whatever day it is)

i was tagged by @nuclearstorms and @arklay, thank you beloveds MWAH. i’ll share a little crumb of yea, still on the same work of last sunday, because i literally can’t finish this thing, i keep adding words and it’s hell at this point. anyways have fenix being dumb, my fave concept in the world

i’m tagging @morvaris, @swordcoasts @camelliagwerm @wrymbloods @jillvalcntines @reaperkiller @steelport and anyone else that wants to share a wip for anything at all really, art, writing, whatever <33

Fenix hesitated, still leaning over the counter. Mars knew something else was up. “Spit it out.” He pronounced the words like a prolonged sigh, already fed up with the interruption.

“Listen, can you maybe, ya’ know…take your trophy from the trunk and leave me the car?” Automatically he started tapping his fingers rhythmically on the counter: there was no way in hell Mars would agree straight away to the request but trying doesn’t hurt. Most of the times. “Just for a few hours? I’ll take it back here, cross on my heart.” He quickly added and outlined the symbol with his index and middle finger in the same exact spot he mentioned.

“No.” Mars’s reply was as hard and cold as his usual demeanour and struck quickly like a lightning, he didn’t even ponder the matter for a single moment. Luckily – but for himself only – Fenix was a stubborn man.

“C’mon, it’s just like…what?” he tried to reason, “two or three hours? Just enough time for breakfast and so on.” The tapping was closer to a hammering sound now and was gradually chiming louder and louder into the fixer’s skull like a nail striking inside. How he wished to cut a few more fingers off his hand. Trying to ignore both the sound and the man making it, Mars didn’t budge and kept his eyes fixed on his turning magazine’s pages activity, vital if you ask him.

“Okay listen. See the girl outside?” Fenix shifted his body to the side, weight resting on his elbow now, yet the man kept ignoring his every word, he was only glad his ears where spared from the noise. “Give a look man, for fuck’s sake they beat the shit out of me for that contract of yours.” The exaggerated exasperation in his now too noisy tone made the fixer puff out a tired breath as he raised his gaze; suddenly the idea of just agreeing to the request and let the cowboy go fuck himself was turning to be quite an interesting choice. He leaned to the side once again, this time only slightly since Fenix’s frame wasn’t obstructing the view any longer, and shot a glance at Vesper: she was still leaning against the car, phone in hand as she mindlessly tried to kill time by scrolling down on news and flashing commercials.

As if she could feel the pair of eyes staring into her direction, her gaze shot up to the shop, efficiently spotting the two men spying on her. “Yeah right, that one.” Fenix comically lifted his hand and waved, enough to make Vesper focus on the screen again with a groan. “Listen,” he began as he leaned over the counter again “I got a date with the girl and don’t let me get started on how fucking hard it was to make her agree to have one, I swear.” That wasn’t a lie, for once. Not only it took twelve failed tries – yes, he kept counting – for Vesper to finally accept the invitation but she still didn’t dump him and thirty minutes already passed. They literally just stopped to drop a corpse on their date, that had to be a deal breaker. “What kind of cheap fuck takes someone on a date with no car? This is my chance, I fail now I get no second tries. Help a man out.” He moved his wrist in short, fast circles now, his fingers following the circular motion in a gesture that Mars didn’t quite understand the meaning of.

He looked straight at Fenix now: his sardonic smile and usual confidence couldn’t hide the almost pathetic pleading. That was one of the most entertaining shows he ever offered to him. “The real favour here would be freeing her from you, actually.” Fair point, Fenix noted, that forked venomous tongue of his never disappoints.

“Yeah well, I asked you to make me a favour. You’ve been young too…” he stopped to scan the old man’s wrinkled face with a frown and then resumed his earnest speech “…one hundred years ago I guess. Y’know how it is.”

Ignoring the jab at his age, the fixer lowered his gaze on his magazine once again and for the last time; the silence following almost felt like a refusal and Fenix was ready to go back and talk his ears off. Thankfully it wasn’t needed. “Fine.” Mars finally yielded, probably only to make the annoying voice of such an insufferable man stop torturing him. “I’ll get the body. You take the car back when you’re done.”

Fenix smirked widely. “Thank you, bello mio.” He teased while slapping the palm of his hand on the counter a few times, Mars already opted for blissful indifference and really hoped – nearly prayed – that now he could finally find some peace again.

You sly bastard, Fenix thought, mentally patting his own back for a job well done. Turning to the exit, he left the fixer’s uncommon den and went straight back to the car, an unusual jauntiness in his steps. Back to his cool front, now. Can’t let the girl know he’s too overjoyed, that would ruin his image.

#tag games #literally kept forgetting about this it's incredible i was like i will do the wip thing now [doesn't do it. keeps forgetting] #so uh yea nix beloved idiot i love him also this is early times of the dumb duo and i'm slowly (22k words) writing their first little date #(kill a man. drop the body. get paid. hey wanna have breakfast?) love that for them i guess. also literally the way it is so hard to write #hand gestures bc in my mind are clear as the sun but writing them down..? SHAKING. i make no sense all the time it's beautiful #OH + bello mio just literally means my beauty but with a funny intent like saying it to a friend (nix is mocking him <3) and uhhhh mars is a #fucked up little old man whos a fixer and his office is inside a laundromat and he LITERALLY has a forked tongue and a snake tattoo on the #face too and just i went a bit off with this man. i just find him funny and the way it feels like nix is asking for the car to his dad just #hehe laughing rn in my mind okay fine i'll shut up

[miraculousbohemian]

So i just found out about the network and the xena problem.

They fr said 'yeah sure whatever but don't make them canon. atleast on tv. Don't give a fuck about later'

and the writers RAN WITH IT.

#xena warrior princess #my good god #wait sam raimi #yeah fuck im dumb omg #someone punch me in the face #this barbie is an idiot :) #mb rant :)

[chancellorxofxtrash]

Hey i just read your recent fic... and i hope you dont mind... but... Japanese food establishments do no accept tips, it's seen as rude.

Out of 5k words you managed to talk about a whopping two. But there. I took them out.

I did not know this. But there are other ways of pointing this out to me.

Do not bother coming back.

#anonymous #If you were genuinely trying to help you would have put your fucking face to this #But no you just want to show how much more knowledgeable than me you are #Not like this is a plot point! Not like I went on a tangent about it! Two fucking words! #I know i am not infallible my bff also messaged me abt a dumb typo i made while reading #But guess what? They said more stuff about the fic not just #Haha idiot you fucked this up #But you? You just came here to talk about TWO WORDS and nothing else