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#these are my feelings please enjoy them
pigsflyinginspace · 4 months
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Sometimes, I think about pulling my eyes out. About how easy it would be to slip my fingers under my eyelid, my thumb pressed to my wet tear duct, and pull the oddly unround thing out of my head.
Sometimes, I think about whether it would hurt. If I would scream out in pain, or if I would just sit there silently, sobbing in prayer. Would the tears be blood? Or clear and hazy like sweat? Would they taste of iron and copper? Of death? Or of salt—death?
Sometimes, I think about if I could stick my finger in the hole I’ve made. If I would touch flesh or if it would go straight to my brain. Would my eye be hanging by strings of flesh still attached to my head? Or flop about, slimy and warm in my free hand?
Sometimes, I sit and think, with my glasses off. I’ll run a lazy finger around my eye socket and think of the force it would require to wrench out the flesh within from my skull. I’ll feel my eye fluttering around under the soft, thin skin of my eyelid and wonder with a perverse satisfaction of the horror it would cause others to see. To hear them as they cry for help on my behalf, or if they would even care.
I wonder, sometimes, what it’s like to care. To feel grief about death of loved ones. To be happy and smiling like it’s natural. I worry, sometimes, that I’m not doing it right. That I’m not giving the right reaction. That I’m thinking too much about pulling my fingernails off and that they can see it. That they can see the dirt.
...
There’s a relief in pain. A detachment of sorts. Something I know I can feel. I find it in the nails of my fingers and toes. In the scratching of my scalp. In the raised bumps of mosquito bite. In the skin on my hands. In the ideation of it. In the self-mutilation of it. In the blood of it all.
There’s a wheezing in my chest for it, sometimes.
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Sometimes, it makes me think if that thing about carrots and fingers is true. About whether I could stick a finger in my mouth at the joint and bite it clean off with the same force it would take to bite off part of a carrot. Would it hurt? Would I cry? Have I already torn out my eye? Was there a pop when I bit it in two? Which one did I choose? Did the flesh grind between my teeth before I bit it? Did it feel good? Did I feel anything?
...
There are boundaries, I think sometimes.
I can never do it to other people. Only myself. They don’t know the logic or the thoughts. They don’t need the pain like me. But no one can inflict it on me. I am the inflictor and the receiver. I am judge, jury, and executioner for me and me alone.
...
I don’t think I’m well, sometimes. I don’t think I function like I’m supposed to. I think I may be malfunctioning—or at least I have been, for a while.
I believe some may call this condition apathy, or depression, or some other third thing I don’t know the name of.
I don’t know where it comes from. What the root is. I don’t know who planted the seed, but I wish sometimes that they had never planted it at all. That they never carefully tilled the soil of my soul. That they never gingerly touched and caressed the dirt in their hands until there was a hole big enough to fit the seed. That they never poured water down the hole and covered it back up with the mangled dirt until it was like a small ant hill. That they never walked away and left it there. That they never left the dirt torn up and tilled and never bothered to come back. I wish sometimes that they checked on the seed and saw the rapid pace at which the plant grew until it had eaten up the garden it was laid in. That they saw the little house by the garden and how it, too, was eaten by the monstrous plant until only a single room survived. That they saw the little girl, happy and content, watching Dragon Tales in that little house by the garden, who now sits in the single functioning room thinking—sometimes—about what it would be like to be eaten by that plant just like everything else. That they would know. That they would come back and save that little girl.
That little girl thinks, sometimes, about gauging her eyes out and how it would feel. She thinks about carrots and fingers. About biting fingernails and pulling out toenails. About scabs and mosquito bites, and hangnails and dead skin, and scratching at her scalp. About where her feelings went. How they left her.
That little girl thinks, sometimes.
...
Sometimes, I think about that little girl.
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inkskinned · 2 months
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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
#warm up#writeblr#this is also about being ace btw#my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it#bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like#trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner#and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess#> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT#i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know#but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual#it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND#AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE#bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex#and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs#and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB#i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point#but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one#and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''
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kaladinkholins · 2 months
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Very interesting to me that a certain subset of the BES fandom's favourite iterations of Mizu and Akemi are seemingly rooted in the facades they have projected towards the world, and are not accurate representations of their true selves.
And I see this is especially the case with Mizu, where fanon likes to paint her as this dominant, hyper-masculine, smirking Cool GuyTM who's going to give you her strap. And this idea of Mizu is often based on the image of her wearing her glasses, and optionally, with her cloak and big, wide-brimmed kasa.
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And what's interesting about this, to me, is that fanon is seemingly falling for her deliberate disguise. Because the glasses (with the optional combination of cloak and hat) represent Mizu's suppression of her true self. She is playing a role.
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Take this scene of Mizu in the brothel in Episode 4 for example. Here, not only is Mizu wearing her glasses to symbolise the mask she is wearing, but she is purposely acting like some suave and cocky gentleman, intimidating, calm, in control. Her voice is even deeper than usual, like what we hear in her first scene while facing off with Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Episode 1.
This act that Mizu puts on is an embodiment of masculine showboating, which is highly effective against weak and insecure men like Hachi, but also against women like those who tried to seduce her at the Shindo House.
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And that brings me to how Mizu's mask is actually a direct parallel to Akemi's mask in this very same scene.
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Here, Akemi is also putting up an act, playing up her naivety and demure girlishness, using her high-pitched lilted voice, complimenting Mizu and trying to make small talk, all so she can seduce and lure Mizu in to drink the drugged cup of sake.
So what I find so interesting and funny about this scene, characters within it, and the subsequent fandom interpretations of both, is that everyone seems to literally be falling for the mask that Mizu and Akemi are putting up to conceal their identities, guard themselves from the world, and get what they want.
It's also a little frustrating because the fanon seems to twist what actually makes Mizu and Akemi's dynamic so interesting by flattening it completely. Because both here and throughout the story, Mizu and Akemi's entire relationship and treatment of each other is solely built off of masks, assumptions, and misconceptions.
Akemi believes Mizu is a selfish, cocky male samurai who destroyed her ex-fiance's career and life, and who abandoned her to let her get dragged away by her father's guards and forcibly married off to a man she didn't know. on the other hand, Mizu believes Akemi is bratty, naive princess who constantly needs saving and who can't make her own decisions.
These misconceptions are even evident in the framing of their first impressions of each other, both of which unfold in these slow-motion POV shots.
Mizu's first impression of Akemi is that of a beautiful, untouchable princess in a cage. Swirling string music in the background.
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Akemi's first impression of Mizu is of a mysterious, stoic "demon" samurai who stole her fiance's scarf. Tense music and the sound of ocean waves in the background.
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And then, going back to that scene of them together in Episode 4, both Mizu and Akemi continue to fool each other and hold these assumptions of each other, and they both feed into it, as both are purposely acting within the suppressive roles society binds them to in order to achieve their goals within the means they are allowed (Akemi playing the part of a subservient woman; Mizu playing the part of a dominant man).
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But then, for once in both their lives, neither of their usual tactics work.
Akemi is trying to use flattery and seduction on Mizu, but Mizu sees right through it, knowing that Akemi is just trying to manipulate and harm her. Rather than give in to Akemi's tactics, Mizu plays with Akemi's emotions by alluding to Taigen's death, before pinning her down, and then when she starts crying, Mizu just rolls her eyes and tells her to shut up.
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On the opposite end, when Mizu tries to use brute force and intimidation, Akemi also sees right through it, not falling for it, and instead says this:
"Under your mask, you're not the killer you pretend to be."
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Nonetheless, despite the fact that they see a little bit through each other's masks, they both still hold their presumptions of each other until the very end of the season, with Akemi seeing Mizu as an obnoxious samurai swooping in to save the day, and Mizu seeing Akemi as a damsel in distress.
And what I find a bit irksome is that the fandom also resorts to flattening them to these tropes as well.
Because Mizu is not some cool, smooth-talking samurai with a big dick sword as Akemi (and the fandom) might believe. All of that is the facade she puts up and nothing more. In reality, Mizu is an angry, confused and lonely child, and a masterful artist, who is struggling against her own self-hatred. Master Eiji, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.
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And Akemi, on the other hand, is not some girly, sweet, vain and spoiled princess as Mizu might believe. Instead she has never cared for frivolous things like fashion, love or looks, instead favouring poetry and strategy games instead, and has always only cared about her own independence. Seki, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.
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But neither is she some authoritative dominatrix, though this is part of her new persona that she is trying to project to get what she wants. Because while Akemi is willful, outspoken, intelligent and authoritative, she can still be naive! She is still often unsure and needs to have her hand held through things, as she is still learning and growing into her full potential. Her new parental/guardian figure, Madame Kaji, knows this as well.
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So with all that being said, now that we know that Mizu and Akemi are essentially wearing masks and putting up fronts throughout the show, what would a representation of Mizu's and Akemi's true selves actually look like? Easy. It's in their hair.
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This shot on the left is the only time we see Mizu with her hair completely down. In this scene, she's being berated by Mama, and her guard is completely down, she has no weapon, and is no longer wearing any mask, as this is after she showed Mikio "all of herself" and tried to take off the mask of a subservient housewife. Thus, here, she is sad, vulnerable, and feeling small (emphasised further by the framing of the scene). This is a perfect encapsulation of what Mizu is on the inside, underneath all the layers of revenge-obsession and the walls she's put around herself.
In contrast, the only time we Akemi with her hair fully down, she is completely alone in the bath, and this scene takes place after being scorned by her father and left weeping at his feet. But despite all that, Akemi is headstrong, determined, taking the reigns of her life as she makes the choice to run away, but even that choice is reflective of her youthful naivety. She even gets scolded by Seki shortly after this in the next scene, because though she wants to be independent, she still hasn't completely learned to be. Not yet. Regardless, her decisiveness and moment of self-empowerment is emphasised by the framing of the scene, where her face takes up the majority of the shot, and she stares seriously into the middle distance.
To conclude, I wish popular fanon would stop mischaracterising these two, and flattening them into tropes and stereotypes (ie. masculine badass swordsman Mizu and feminine alluring queen but also girly swooning damsel Akemi), all of which just seems... reductive. It also irks me when Akemi is merely upheld as a love interest and romantic device for Mizu and nothing more, when she is literally Mizu's narrative foil (takes far more narrative precedence over romantic interest) and the deuteragonist of this show. She is her own person. That is literally the theme of her entire character and arc.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months
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So, I started watching Link Click...
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anistarrose · 1 year
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oh, the Red Robe's lair in a cave outside of Phandalin? you mean the Build A Barry Workshop?
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when you mentioned in your tags that there was hardly any laughingstock i didn't believe you at first, but holy shit ur right. YOU AND @krasytoonz MADE ME INTO A LAUGHINGSTOCK BELIEVER. I WILL PAY TRIBUTE TO THESE SKRUNGLY FUCKERS SOON, MARK MY WORDS *shakes fist into the void*
no yeah Seriously though its just us out here, fighting for our lives in the fucking Trenches. in ten years someone is gonna use the word 'laughingstock' casually in conversation and im gonna have War Flashbacks
#no please get out while you still can#once you let them in all the way They Will Not Fucking Leave they are There Forever#the inside of my brain is just me huddled in a corner while they make out in the middle of my skull#BUT YEAH THERES BARELY ANYTHING#trust me whenever krasytoonz posts them i am instantly there to ravenously devour the crumbs like a rabid pigeon#they are my only outside source of barnaby/howdy#them and the side plot in Stamps by Indigopoptart on ao3#oh the side plot my beloved.... im still starving but sometimes they trick me into feeling like im Feasting....#and that one tidbit in Beautiful Boy Its Only Love by ImaginatorOf Things - also on ao3 ofc#and thats IT thats ALL I HAVE. all We have#shoving my entire fist into my mouth and biting it off while sobbing. screaming. etc.#oh the pain and joy of rarepairs... its been a while since ive been so taken with one...#who knows? with the power of friendship and this gun i found maybe one day it wont just be viewed as a crackship by the masses#rambles from the bog#gotta be honest. krasytoonz also converted me all the way#like i was tenuous about it at first...#it was just a Thought yk yk#i was like 'oh thats cute but like. as a side thing. a background thing. they dont have much going for them'#i think that was because i had nothing to enjoy outside of my own brain#i liked the very rare very jokey crumbs from a couple of clownsuu's posts#but it wasnt enough to make me go Theyre Mine Now#then i stumbled upon krasytoonz and one scrolling session later! i was fully hooked! just like that!#laughingstock went from a nebulous interest to a Permanent Fixture In My Braincase!#but yeah uhhhhh glad i could contribute to passing on the Illness#if you ever get free i will envy you#and to future me: if youre free i envy you as well. but i also pity you bc theyre so so good theyre so cute whats wrong with you-#i hate them & i love them & theyre nothing & theyre everything & they wont leave & ive locked the door
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cerise-on-top · 3 months
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Hugging, Kissing and Cuddling HCs for König
I'm trying to see him in another light again after everything I've seen about him, so I decided I'd write something fluffy and nice for him. And then came the realization I never wrote some HCs like these for him in my original posts, so I decided I'd change that! He's Austrian, so naturally I have to love him!
When it comes to hugging someone, König is a bit hesitant. Considering he’s not the most physically affectionate person out there, it’s almost an honor to be receiving an unprompted hug from him. Whether his hugs are long or short depends on the occasion: If he’s proud of you for accomplishing something, then the hug will be rather short lived. Though, he might pick you up and spin you around until you’re dizzy. If you’re sad and need some comfort then his hugs could last a while. He’s not the best with words, he prefers to listen to other people, but if he knows a hug is what usually helps you then he’s willing to do so. Despite being a big and strong lad his hugs are surprisingly gentle, he’s worried about crushing you. He could put his all into them, but then you’d likely end up with a few broken ribs and he doesn’t want that to happen. König is also surprisingly warm, so receiving a hug from him is a rare, but nice experience. Although he does go rigid at the beginning, not knowing what to do, but relaxes into the hug eventually.
Again, he’s not a very physically affectionate person, but isn’t opposed to the occasional peck on the cheek or on your lips either. There is some anxiety whether you’d actually want a kiss from him or not, so he doesn’t kiss you very often, even if you do reassure him that it’s quite alright. He’s a bit tense at first when he presses a kiss to your lips, but calms down eventually. It’s especially bad during the beginning of your relationship, but he’s since gotten better at being calm about it. Since there’s a good chance he’s taller than you he loves giving you a kiss on the forehead. It’s a small but sweet gesture. He doesn’t need to bend down entirely to reach you but he still gets to be affectionate with you. However, if you’re on the taller side, or just as tall as he is, then he’d love to receive kisses to his temple from you. It makes him smile every time you do it. If he’s in the mood for receiving a kiss then he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and nudge you a bit. Or try to get his head in your closer vicinity. Kind of like that one bunny video where the bunny stretches to receive some kisses.
Cuddles with him are a bit more common than hugs actually. However, he refuses to lay down on top of you. If you’re shorter and weaker than him then there’s no chance he’ll put his weight on you, he’s just that afraid of hurting you. If you’re taller or just more muscular, then he might, but he’s still a rather heavy lad. Most he’ll do is put his head on your shoulder while you’re cuddling in bed and are both lying down. Although it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t want to be held. König is alright with being the one to hold you, but sometimes he would prefer to be the little spoon as well. That urge gets especially bad if you’re roughly the same size as him. Sometimes just nuzzling into your chest does the trick for him as well, though. Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair as he does so. Another thing he adores is you sleeping on his chest as he holds you. He gets to hold you close, he gets to protect you and he gets to doze off a bit himself, it’s bliss to him. Sometimes he leans down to press a kiss to your head and accidentally wakes you up like that. He feels bad about it and apologizes profusely, but does chuckle a bit when he sees your disheveled hair and your tired expression that shows you just woke up.
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Breakfast burgers!
(As always click for better quality)
I’d like to think that Damian is visiting after his Robin shift and they’re getting in some supersons hang out time before school
My emergency commissions are still open with everything 10% off the final price!
Version without lighting effects (+coloured lines) and zoomed in version under cut;
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aheathen-conceivably · 2 months
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STATISTICAL  CHARACTER  PERSONALITY TEST.   take  the  quiz  from  the  perspective  of  your  character,  then  select  5 - 10  results  from  the  complete  matches  list  that  you  feel  resonate  with  your  character  the  most (I selected the highest match and three more from the top ten)…
Zelda Darlington
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Cue your wide eyed protagonist with a tendency to ignore everything around her in favor of getting lost in her own mind. Bonus points for an added dash of innocence, preoccupation with love, and the seemingly unexplainable ability to charm everyone around her despite how utterly distracted by her own thoughts she always seems to be.
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Antoine Duplanchier
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Did someone order a too-moody-for his-own-good I can fix him love interest? Does he have a tragic backstory and a penchant for withholding his emotions until he explodes on those he loves most? But then he professes his loyalty with grand gestures and declarations of eternal love? Well do I have the story for you…
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Josephine Duplanchier
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Does your wide eyed protagonist need a bitchy sidekick? Does she have a penchant for manipulating everyone around her but the audience can't help but love her anyway? One thing is for sure, someone’s heart is getting broken, and she’s going to make damn sure it isn’t her own.
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Giorgio Mistretta
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The internet has officially decreed that Giorgio is the fuck-boy love interest who's too attractive for his own good. Meanwhile his girlfriend bosses him around and he swears he doesn’t like it, even though it’s pretty obvious he does. He has a habit of making really stupid choices; but he did it all for love, right? Right?!
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(I was tagged by @citylighten -thanks boo!- and in turn tag @thebramblewood @elderberries-and-honey @antiquatedplumbobs and @surely-sims plus anyone else who wants to!)
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starscelly · 9 months
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now that you're home, i dont have to be alone.
saad yousuf, twitter / vgk@dal 5.25.23 / adrienne rich, sleepwalking next to death / miro heiskanen, instagram / amal el-mohtar, this is how you lose the time war / x / Stars' top pick Miro Heiskanen talks at NHL draft / x / "the pull of you" by the national / dallas stars, instagram / Stars' top pick Miro Heiskanen talks at NHL draft / dallas stars, twitter / ernest hemingway, the garden of eden / miro heiskanen, instagram / x / dal@sea 3.11.23 / the letters of vincent van gogh / yle tv2 promo / lighthousekeeping, jeanette winterson / dallas stars, twitter / (caption) "woof woof" by arthur
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lunarharp · 4 months
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figured i'd do this again..bit early i guess..
#to cheer me up.. i feel bad atm.. these things don't even make me feel very good tho bc i'm such a narrative/sketch-based artist..#but Proper Beautiful Finished Pieces are what grab attention and look good at the end of the year all neatly lined up lol.....#so looking at a “yearly review” where i can only choose 'the best image of the month' (??) is like...What have i even been doing...#i did a month by month look back on twt for myself instead..but even that doesn't express the quantity of comic-based stuff..#that i do put a lot of time/heart into..but alas i feel bad bringing even them back..RTing/reblogging my own art simply feels bad lol..#AND WHY IS IT ALL B&W...trying to accept that i LIKE doing that and sketching and scribbling..not like i'm trying to like..Get Artist Job..#this year was so profoundly lonely at times bc i spent all my time drawing instead of socialising and trying to find friends....#please please please have achieved more of your dreams in the future so you can look back at 2023 and think..#It was good that happened so that it got me further to the future. Or whatever i guess.....................#regardless i did have a great amount of fun drawing and improving this year and dwelling deeply & heavily on witch hat atelier.#art-wise and emotionally....march july & september were the best months i think..AUGUST WAS SO WEIRD SUMMER IS SO EVIL ALWAYS.#thank you very much if you are reading this for enjoying & leaving nice tags & such like <3 i've realised how fulfilling that is to receive#really keeps me posting stuff here instead of keeping it all to myself in my head#i wish everyone in this world could have a safe and happy end of year. i wish living in this world were easier
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erabu-san · 10 months
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Hmm I apologize again for the rant !
It is not the first time I am doing it. I might forgot to put "please don't tag it as ship" under my drawing of tighnari cyno. Please, do not !
I love them as best friend, I love them as brother/found family, I don't mind the queerplatonic relationship at all
But their romantic side make me pretty uncomfortable. No hate ! It is my own taste.
Shippers are always welcomed and I am so glad you like my content 💕 but all my art concerning them (unless I tag the ship) are purely platonic. I just ask for some respect of my taste and not reblog my art with the ship tag.
I don't want to block, because I am genuinely glad you enjoy my work and as a young artist, it means a lot for me. Thank you so much 🙇 !! But as a human, I can't deny how uneasy it makes me feel.
Thank you for understanding !
#rant#I blame nobody#i am clearly not used to block ): I should tho but I know those who tag ship are not mean at all </3#it is fine if you don't know.#but i saw people reblogging my art with shiptag even if i said “do not”#my art is like my only safe place please respect it#this ship is so popular and I clearly stop to interact with the fandom because of that#i clearly ignore when I saw one in my timeline /dashboard becausz I can't do nothinf against it except masking the account#but I beg you. not. under. my. post.#not in my DM#why i feel obligated to justify myself 😭#but yeah !!! the ship is valid and full of greenflag !! wholesome !!#but I only enjoy them platonically !!! please respect 😭😭😭 I SWEAR I AM DESESPERATE WHY IT IS SO HARD FOR SOME TO RESPECT THAT OMG#gosh on twitter someone said me “ignore ??? what did you expect ??? it is the most popular ship”#I AM TRYING I AM LITERALLY NOT SEARCHING FOR FANART 😀#feeding myself with my own food#that's why I am so grateful for people who support me. thank you. 😭#and how could I ignore a comment under my post ??? interaction are so important for me I read everything#ANYWAY SORRY FOR RANTING !!! IT IS CLEARLY A /NOTMEAN POST !!!#next time I won't forgrt “do not tag it as ship”#but urgh if I do this I have to do in every post ???? 🤨#and what if I draw tighnari cyno kaveh but I don't mind ship with kaveh ??? 🤨🤨🤨 (plz still don't)#tHERE IS PLENTY OF CYN0N4RI ACCOUNT IF YOU WISH TO SEE MORE CONTENT OF THEM !! Please support them <<3 mine are platonic !#but clearly. imagine you are obsessive about two characters <<3#but their popular ship is the one who make you the most uncomfy 😀#so you decided to just stop looking at fanart and not bothering anyone 👍👍#but it came under your post and your DM 😟#AAA SORRY I AM SALTY I SWEAR I AM NOT USED TO FEEL LIKE THIS ):<#anyway plz take care ilove you mwah 🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months
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Smell Check [Easy: Failure]
MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 1 (part 2 - part 3)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#disco elysium#MDZS Disco Elysium AU#So sad I didn't manage to get this comic out on the 15th (pd-mdzs's 8 month anniversary and DE's 4th year anniversary) but I'm here *now*#I have a very extensive and detailed MDZS Disco Elysium AU that I am Not Normal About.#I've seen a few other people point out the potential in a crossover (true) but they make the mistake in having it be set in 51!#A true crossover would take place closer to The Antecentennial Revolution!#Disco Elysium did not go that hard on its cool lore for people to only make surface level crossovers!!!#One day I'll write the fic or post my notes. I don't know who would read it but it tickles *my* brain and that's enough.#No spoilers for DE (here or in comments (please)) but please consider....Magpie Wei Wuxian B*) On his way to be an innocent.#I do think there is a good chance a chunk of the MDZS readership would enjoy DE but...it's also not a game I easily recommend#It's more of an experience you have to marinate over. It's dark in ways that are off putting to some people.#It makes you feel like a very bad person all the time. It gets extremely personal if you allow yourself to be honest in your answers#and it's also the game that saved my life. My life was truly forever changed after playing disco elysium.#If I recommend it to people it's a badge of the trust I have in you to appreciate something dear to me B'*)#If you decide to play: PLEASE go in as blind as possible. You will regret spoiling yourself.#edit: this is based on real disco elysium dialogue. HDB has many canon kinks but this is not one of them
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humanmorph · 10 months
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the movie night scene may be a season highlight so far. cori 🥺💗
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moeblob · 3 days
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I unfortunately picked up Bravely Default 2 again (I bought it back when it released) and then started over since I last played it in June 2021. And. You know what. I like these silly beans. And then I saw concept art for Dag's expressions and I am not the same. Why did they decide to give him huge fangs in it.
(also I'm trying so hard to avoid spoilers less for plot but more for characters so if you know anything that happens to characters shhhhh. also the expression concept is below the read more so you can see what I mean.)
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#bravely default 2#dag rampage#selene noetic#i only just recently reached ch2 in the game and i may have a problem#someone was like wait how have you not gotten farther in 25 hours#and im like im sorry its a problem i have an obsession you dont understand#and then he found out i had three of the four party members with two jobs capped at 12#and then the fourth only had one capped but a bunch high up#and then i told him i was trying to get the gambler asterisk and that meant i had to play a childrens card game#and then i had to do side quests when they popped up#and he was like wait at that point you probably dont need jobs at 12 omg#and im like i know its a problem i cant stop it#so anyway chapter 1 took me forever because i committed to the grind too much#the emotions i feel for silly lil side characters ................ its too real#like even the fact that you beat these two up in the prologue im like teehee funny lil blonde guy#then you dont interact with them in a ch1 quest but they show up again at the same time doing the same quest#and guys i am FEELING EMOTIONS theyre just funny lil mercenaries doin funny lil mercenary things#also please do not tell me anything about the game past ch1 because i want to continue to enjoy experiencing it#which is why i have my ask box closed bc its a game from 2021 and i know im really behind the times#but i managed to not know anything until now and i wanna keep it that way#also i dont really know how to properly draw noses especially when i doodle#but his nose is important and i already struggle with his big jaw so i had to include it somehow#and in the concept art it looks like he has a lil stubble but in game i dont see it so im like ... squinting at he
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I'm surprised you haven't posted any Welcome home stuff recently! Honestly kinda makes me sad since I love your WH art and stuff
yea y'all are gonna have to be Patient w/ me bc
a) i have like. a week left to pack all of my stuff before i need to shove everything into a uhaul and leave, so its crunch time! leaving little to no energy/interest in anything else
b) to be honest my mental health is the worst its been in years - which is fine, its whatever, i can deal. it's not as bad as it could be and im handling it! like a champ, even! but also its leaving little to no energy/interest in anything else
c) had a minor crisis over my art and how i interact w/ WH, and i realized im not scribbling enough of what I want. ive mostly been trying to please people and do as asked and thats! not good! so i want to temper expectation & reassert that im Not a WH art blog - its just a hyperfixation / something i love rn. i draw what i enjoy & what i want in the moment.
#i picked up my tablet last night and all of my motivation died on the spot#so im just. eh whatever ill get back into the swing of things eventually#but yeah im spending my time packing & keeping myself afloat! not much room for other things at present!#rambles from the bog#but yeah i was starting to feel like a commodity of sorts?#like the majority of asks are just some form of 'can you draw this' 'draw this' 'id love it if youd draw this'#which is. fine. im an art blog! thats what i do!#but its also like hey. im just some guy doodling what they enjoy. im not a machine churning out content for consumption#& it gets to the point where there's so much expectation and obligation and 'demand'-#when do i ever sit down and truly indulge in what i want?#like the monster scribble i posted the other day! it made me so happy! i love monsters and Beasts!#when do i ever allow myself to draw them?#rarely bc i feel like people Expect puppets from me. and thats not a great feeling!#i love puppets i love wh and everything but i would like to enjoy it w/o pressure yk yk....#& for a second there i Was feeling the pressure and scribbling puppets was starting to feel like a chore#something i Needed to do to please people#so! im focusing on real life & taking a break from creation & keeping my mindset away from 'jump into traffic' thankyew <3#theres just too much going on right now#in my head And outside of it.#so ill stick to packing & binging psych & i'll lovingly place everything else on the backburner
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