#then he has to learn a whole new writing system before he can even be called by name

[ace-trainguys]

Whumptober day 25 - prompt is lost voice.

Imagine how much tougher of a time Ingo would have if he lost his voice in addition to his memories. His main way of expressing himself is through speech - without it, he’s an unapproachable silent, stoic man. Very few in the Pearl Clan would be willing to interact with him.

#whumptober2022 #no.25 #lost voice #submas #art #ingo #qed's art #this would be like soon after he lands in Hisui #as soon as he's well enough to walk around #I'd say he probably would be kicked out of the clan asap except Lady Sneasler took a liking to him #I like to hc that Emmet and Ingo know sign language #in this situation no one in Hisui does #He gets called 'stranger' and 'outsider' until he's able to write his name down #bonus points if you want there to be a difference in writing systems #then he has to learn a whole new writing system before he can even be called by name #I had an idea for a cute bonus to this but I have gotten busy recently and I didn't have the time #perhaps something to return to after whumptober

[mitsies]

❊ turn me down - michael kaiser . . loving you might just be the unluckiest fate.

there is an ache in kaiser's chest that he can't get rid of.

it's been lingering for far too long to be normal. like a broken wire, sparks fly down his spine, burning from the inside. he's already tried writing it off as bad sleep. he's tried explaining it away as lifestyle, or certain foods, or other irrelevant factors. but no matter what he tries, this dull pain, it persists. it lives inside him; a parasite.

he feels it when the train slows to a stop. he feels it in his history lecture when his professor says something dull. he feels it on the football field when he really, really shouldn't. kaiser can't escape the sensation. it follows him like a shadow, like a bad omen, like a ghost.

and the only solution, he's found, is your touch.

this is discovered on a rain-soaked monday. the both of you had been taking cover in your apartment, and your roommates were all out. it hadn't been awkward, not at all. because before anything else, the both of you were friends. you'd met in a chemistry class a few months back. your friendship was new, and it was easy; it was even easier for him to fall for you.

maybe it had happened that night, when the two of you had shared your first kiss together. when you'd both agreed to be a little more than friends, but not much more. when he'd first touched you the way he wanted to. or maybe he'd fallen for you before that— back in the class, back to your first study session. or maybe it was sometime after. he doesn't know. he may never know. but as it stands, that's where he is; hopelessly, pathetically infatuated with you.

he thinks of it as something like a blessing. the way you talk to him makes him feel tethered and real. the way your hands trace familiar pathways down his back on late nights makes everything feel right. the way you care about him makes his whole body burn enough to forget the stupid ache in his chest.

you've always been hard to read. he can never quite tell what you're thinking, although he itches, burns, to have every single piece of you learned and memorised. is it just for fun to you? or is it more, like it is to him? do you think about him when he's not there like he thinks about you? does his touch make you feel okay for once, too? he hopes so. he needs it to be true, really. because there is something desperate about the way he loves you. like he's grasping at something that's always just out of reach. like you're the only cure for his pain. like you're the only good thing he has, like he can't let you be just a friend.

but that's all you are, really; just friends. nothing less but also nothing more. an unfortunate conundrum. and even more unfortunate is the fact that in his blindness, he'd neglected to account for the fact that friends-with-benefits was no kind of commitment, either.

the bar is muggy and crowded on friday nights, and tonight is no different. kaiser is usually by your side, but he's let himself get pulled away by some of your friend group for a game of pool. but when he's done, and searches for you, you aren't alone. there's a stranger seated in the barstool where he once was, making conversation with you— and you look amused. a hand is propping your head up and your body is tilted towards the stranger, and your eyes crinkle a little around the corner like they do when you find something funny, and kaiser is angry. his body aches, it burns. an ugly feeling melts into his bones, mixing not-too-well with the alcohol already in his system as he moves to where you're sitting.

maybe it's ego. maybe it's envy. or maybe, just maybe it's desperation, as he inserts himself between you and the man with a crooked grin in your direction. "everything okay here, darling?"

you might be hard to read at times, but there's no mistaking the venom that burns behind your eyes as you glare at him. it should hurt. but you're looking at him, so how bad could it be?

you feign a smile and play along, presumably to avoid embarrassment. "yes. yes, actually, more than okay. in fact, i'm ready to go now. mind paying my tab?"

he likes you when you're irritated. he likes you all the time. he'd pay your tab even if you didn't ask. kaiser can feel your anger swell as the man you were speaking to dismisses himself, and as he leads you out of the bar. but he can't be angry. not now, because you take his hand when it's offered. he knows it's to avoid a scene, but he'll pretend it's more than that. your hand in his sends warmth down his body in sparks, enough to make everything else disappear.

"what the hell was that?"

you're mad. he knew you'd be. but he loves you so he just smiles like an idiot.

the street outside the bar is mostly empty. no one is close enough to hear your conversation, and only a few bar hoppers remain, waiting for a cab or stumbling to their next destination. a streetlight shines down on you, turning you amber in its light. you look beautiful. you might've been waiting for him to respond, he's not sure; but when he doesn't, you keep going.

"kaiser, what is your problem?"

something about your saying his name snaps him out of his haze. oh. what was he doing?

"we agreed," you continue, "we're just friends. just friends. we're not anything, kaiser. we're nothing, got that?"

you're mad, you're so mad. and your words burn and sting, like whips on skin, like fire on flesh. he's silent. he doesn't have anything to say, now that the fog has lifted around his brain. you and him were nothing. he loves you like a godless man, but you and him are nothing.

"right," is all kaiser says. he lacks his usual conviction or confidence. he fears that you may be the only person who will ever be capable of reducing him to ashes. you cross your arms and stare at him with a sardonic, "yeah. right."

he loves you. he loves you like a saint, he loves you like you're all he has. and he realises, right there on the sidewalk in front of a dingy bar, that loving you does nothing but hurt.

he never ached the way he does now before he met you. he never burned with emotion too strong to contain. knowing you brought on the pain, and loving you made it worse, and being around you ruined him. this was not a blessing. this was a curse. your touch was not a cure as much as it was a cause.

it hurts to love you. it hurts to love you this much and get nothing back. he knows he shouldn't, now, he's realised that it'll only make things worse. he shouldn't. but he can't let you go, not now. he's addicted to the pain, he's addicted to the melancholy of it all. which is why he smiles. which is why he says, "can i take you home and make up for it, then?"

your face is unreadable, you're sure. and he'd never know how you were feeling at that very moment. because you're hard to read on purpose. because you're not ready for him to know. but that same pain, that same hurt; you feel it too. that same love. unrequited, in your eyes. nothing but trouble. that same love, that makes you smile back. that same love that makes you say, "it's the least you could do," as you take his hand and leave.

maybe one day one of you will have the courage to shut it down or open up. maybe one day, you'll both really end up as either something or nothing. maybe one day, the ache of love's burden will lift. but for now, the pendulum swings as one of you waits for the other to finally put them out of their misery, and turn them down.

flower chosen: yellow rose . . jealousy

❊ send a request! ❊ 5k masterlist ❊ event info ❊

#aka fwb but he's in love with u #michael kaiser x reader #kaiser x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk #kaiser michael x reader #blue lock kaiser #kaiser michael #michael kaiser #blue lock #inspired by “turn me down” by julia jacklin! #mitsies 5k #sorry about this MESS i have not written in 5ever and my brain is meltingrn over kaisers recent hairstyle and also finals ig

[spocks-kaathyra]

thoughts about the Cardassian writing system

I've thinking about the Cardassian script as shown on screen and in beta canon and such and like. Is it just me or would it be very difficult to write by hand?? Like.

I traced some of this image for a recent drawing I did and like. The varying line thicknesses?? The little rectangular holes?? It's not at all intuitive to write by hand. Even if you imagine, like, a different writing implement—I suppose a chisel-tip pen would work better—it still seems like it wasn't meant to be handwritten. Which has a few possible explanations.

Like, maybe it's just a fancy font for computers, and handwritten text looks a little different. Times New Roman isn't very easily written by hand either, right? Maybe the line thickness differences are just decorative, and it's totally possible to convey the same orthographic information with the two line thicknesses of a chisel-tip pen, or with no variation in line thickness at all.

A more interesting explanation, though, and the one I thought of first, is that this writing system was never designed to be handwritten. This is a writing system developed in Cardassia's digital age. Maybe the original Cardassian script didn’t digitize well, so they invented a new one specifically for digital use? Like, when they invented coding, they realized that their writing system didn’t work very well for that purpose. I know next to nothing about coding, but I cannot imagine doing it using Chinese characters. So maybe they came up with a new writing system that worked well for that purpose, and when computer use became widespread, they stuck with it. 

Or maybe the script was invented for political reasons! Maybe Cardassia was already fairly technologically advanced when the Cardassian Union was formed, and, to reinforce a cohesive national identity, they developed a new standardized national writing system. Like, y'know, the First Emperor of Qin standardizing hanzi when he unified China, or that Korean king inventing hangul. Except that at this point in Cardassian history, all official records were digital and typing was a lot more common than handwriting, so the new script was designed to be typed and not written. Of course, this reform would be slower to reach the more rural parts of Cardassia, and even in a technologically advanced society, there are people who don't have access to that technology. But I imagine the government would be big on infrastructure and education, and would make sure all good Cardassian citizens become literate. And old regional scripts would stop being taught in schools and be phased out of digital use and all the kids would grow up learning the digital script.

Which is good for the totalitarian government! Imagine you can only write digitally. On computers. That the government can monitor. If you, like, write a physical letter and send it to someone, then it's possible for the contents to stay totally private. But if you send an email, it can be very easily intercepted. Especially if the government is controlling which computers can be manufactured and sold, and what software is in widespread use, etc. 

AND. Historical documents are now only readable for scholars. Remember that Korean king that invented hangul? Before him, Korea used to use Chinese characters too. And don't get me wrong, hangul is a genius writing system! It fits the Korean language so much better than Chinese characters did! It increased literacy at incredible rates! But by switching writing systems, they broke that historical link. The average literate Chinese person can read texts that are thousands of years old. The average literate Korean person can't. They'd have to specifically study that field, learn a whole new writing system. So with the new generation of Cardassian youths unable to read historical texts, it's much easier for the government to revise history. The primary source documents are in a script that most people can't read. You just trust the translation they teach you in school. In ASIT it's literally a crucial plot point that the Cardassian government revised history! Wouldn't it make it soooo much easier for them if only very few people can actually read the historical accounts of what happened.

I guess I am thinking of this like Chinese characters. Like, all the different Chinese "dialects" being written with hanzi, even though otherwise they could barely be considered the same language. And even non-Sinitic languages that historically adopted hanzi, like Japanese and Korean and Vietnamese. Which worked because hanzi is a logography—it encodes meaning, not sound, so the same word in different languages can be written the same. It didn’t work well! Nowadays, Japanese has made significant modifications and Korean has invented a new writing system entirely and Vietnamese has adapted a different foreign writing system, because while hanzi could write their languages, it didn’t do a very good job at it. But the Cardassian government probably cares more about assimilation and national unity than making things easier for speakers of minority languages. So, Cardassia used to have different cultures with different languages, like the Hebitians, and maybe instead of the Union forcing everyone to start speaking the same language, they just made everyone use the same writing system. Though that does seem less likely than them enforcing a standard language like the Federation does. Maybe they enforce a standard language, and invent the new writing system to increase literacy for people who are newly learning it.

And I can imagine it being a kind of purely digital language for some people? Like if you’re living on a colonized planet lightyears away from Cardassia Prime and you never have to speak Cardassian, but your computer’s interface is in Cardassian and if you go online then everyone there uses Cardassian. Like people irl who participate in the anglophone internet but don’t really use English in person because they don’t live in an anglophone country. Except if English were a logographic writing system that you could use to write your own language. And you can’t handwrite it, if for whatever reason you wanted to. Almost a similar idea to a liturgical language? Like, it’s only used in specific contexts and not really in daily life. In daily life you’d still speak your own language, and maybe even handwrite it when needed. I think old writing systems would survive even closer to the imperial core (does it make sense to call it that?), though the government would discourage it. I imagine there’d be a revival movement after the Fire, not only because of the cultural shift away from the old totalitarian Cardassia, but because people realize the importance of having a written communication system that doesn’t rely on everyone having a padd and electricity and wifi.

#if I read over this again I will inevitably want to change and add things so I'm refraining from doing that. enjoy whatever this is #forgive my very crude recounting of chinese and korean history! I am neither a historian nor a linguist #but I will NOT apologize for talking abt china so much. that's my culture and I'm weird abt it bc of my family history #and it's my GOD GIVEN RIGHT to project what little I know abt it onto all my worldbuilding #also I've never actually read abt any of the various cardassian conlangs but I'm curious if this contradicts or coincides with any of them #I still want to make my own someday. starting college as a linguistics major (in 2 weeks!!) so presumably I will learn how to do that #narcissus's echoes #ds9 #asit #star trek #cardassians #cardassian meta #a stitch in time #hebitians

[moonit3]

yandere x fem reader whos super chill about being kidnapped. it goes a little something like

"im sorry, you wont get to see your friends or family ever again, all you need is me"

"...kay. you got any snacks down here?"

a chill reader? damn, i wish i could be like that…

ᯓᡣ𐭩 yanderes with a chill! reader

➽ context warnings: yandere themes (of course), past kidnapping, mentioned manipulation, gn! reader, female clothing in adeline part, rope (but not much).

➽ word count: around 680.

➽ synopsis: after realizing you won’t escape, the yandere seems happier with it.

➽ yandere! multi x reader

➽ a/n: so you haven’t specified which yandere you would like me to write, so i picked three: max, leonard and adeline as i wasn’t in the mood to create a whole new character for this one. also shoutout to @.cafekitsune for the amazing heart divider used in this post! enjoy the headcanons my dear readers! an even isn’t speak out loud, the reader is gn! in max part, m! in leonard and f! in adeline part.

MAX

➽ the walls are too thin at his place and his failed attempt to wrap your limbs to the headboard made him think that you are going to leave soon, especially after he almost forget to close the door before leaving to work. max knows he is a lost cause in trying making to stay at his apartment without escaping, but the important part is that he is trying his best.

➽ so imagine his face when he came back home to see you sitting at the couch watching some movie. he almost passed out right there, it was like he saw a ghost instead of you. he could only stutter when trying (and failing) to reprimand you into submission and when max realized that he couldn’t do much about it, he just sat next to you to watch the rest of the movie.

➽ initially, he felt like a disappointment when seeing that you easily got off from the many ropes and chains that he placed you on the bed (maybe he shouldn’t have skipped the knot class when he was a scout). however, he is extremely happy that you haven’t left him when you could easily have done when he was away.

➽ knowing that you won’t leave him, max asked if you would like to continue with your college education as long you move to his place. of course, you accepted it and a big smile grown so big at his lips. he is so happy with the love of his live living with him and he can’t wait to show you off to everyone at college.

LEONARD

➽ the security system that he has at his manor is deadly. cameras all over the place to watch you, motion sensors to catch the slightest movement of you and the highest walls around the property to prevent you from leave. leonard wasn’t playing around when making all those security measures to keep you inside, even hiring guards to stay at the entrance as an extra protection.

➽ he knows that you don’t have any chance to escape from him, leonard would torment you if you dare to voice your concerns about it. instead, you appear as you don’t care about being trapped inside his manor. in matter of fact, you are enjoying your time inside.

➽ taking long bath full of bubbles at the jacuzzi in the main suite, eating the unique meal made by his personal chefs and even requesting if he can afford your old hobbies now that you have time to do anything. and of course he can’t deny your wishes.

➽ gifting you the best supplies to help you with that hobby of yours in exchange that he will join you. leonard is wants to learn more about you and spending time doing something that you enjoy is a bonus to him.

ADELINE

➽ she dreamed of seeing you acting so sweetly and so relaxed after being taken away of society, but adeline never expected to see it happening in real life. so she becomes suspicious when you show no sign of reluctance nor fear when she tells you won’t leave her place anytime soon.

➽ now that you live under her roof, adeline makes sure to make sure to everyone who either works there or visit her that you belong to her only. now you only get to wear those dresses made of silk when someone comes over to discuss business with adeline and she always makes you wear those that have a split on the side. alternatively, if you prefer wearing pants over dresses, then she makes you silk pants and long sleeve shirt that often match her dresses always.

➽ and when there is no one around, she makes you wear the most expensive set of lingeries that she buys for you or the most comfortable nightgowns depending on your preferences. either way, adeline will make you pose for a few photos to her personal collection. one that contains pictures of you dating back to months prior you have known her…

@moonit3 writings

#yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere writing #yandere male #yandere female #yandere man #yandere woman #yandere x gender neutral y/n #yandere x gender neutral reader #yandere x gn reader #x gender neutral reader #x gender neutral y/n #gender neutral insert #gender neutral y/n #my oc max #my oc adeline #my oc leonard #➥·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ moon writings

[sourpatchys]

•Shigaraki Headcannons•

Some SFW❤️ and NSFW❤️‍🔥 headcannons for Skigaraki Tomura, this is my first time writing for this character so I hope it’s not OOC haha (though I’ve been writing for emotionally unavailable and touched starved men for years)

Warning: 18+ do NOT interact if you are a minor (this goes for all my explicit works) there will be a warning before the NSFW content starts if that’s not your cup of tea <3

Reader: this is written with a *female reader* in mind.

A/N: I know this isn’t usually who I write for, but honestly I think you all saw this coming at one point or another! I needed a way to get out of my writing funk and Shigaraki seems like the perfect candidate.

SFW❤️

Shigaraki isn’t exactly what you’d call the perfect partner.

He can be loud and demanding, he has no idea how to interact with other people, and there’s been a giant learning curve for the both of you.

If he happens to get too angry at you, or snaps at you in a way he finds himself regretting (he regrets it every single time don’t be fooled) he will immediately shower you in gifts.

While touch is his love language, he isn’t quite sure how to cuddle your problems with him away, apologizing isn’t, and never will be, something he thrives at.

So instead he looks into your search history, looking at all the things you’ve thought about buying, and just goes crazy.

Your love story isn’t as cut and dry as most. Honestly, when you met he had every intention of killing you where you stood, but he didn’t— instead choosing to keep you captive, and somehow you managed to force your way into his heart.

You do actually have your own room, though now it’s mostly used as a storage closet for all the apology gifts. If you’re really mad at him you sleep in there— and that’s when he knows he’s fucked up big time.

Though as the months go by and you learn each other limits (as he learns your limits) the bed in your room gets colder and colder.

As harsh as he can be verbally, he’s never once gotten physical. The whole reason you have an entire room to yourself is because he was too afraid to let you sleep with him. The first month of the two of you being official, you hadn’t even touched.

Eventually you had enough and put in an anonymous request with some hero costume designers, getting some specially made gloves so his pinkie would be covered without the threat of the fabric disintegrating.

He told you he’d never be caught dead wearing them.

He lied.

When he got to hold your hand for the first time, his entire nervous system shut down. He never wanted to let go.

He doesn’t wear them around the others, he’s not a fan of PDA, and if he ever feels like someone’s coming onto you he just kills them.

Out of sight out of mind.

He’s a really gentile lover, In the time you spend alone with him you’re always glued to his chest or being littered with kisses.

His favorite thing to do is to bite the tip of your nose or the shell of your ear and watch you try to pull away while you complain and pout

Even with how much love he has for you he’s still a sadist at heart.

He often has nightmares about you dying. He’s never had the chance to love someone like he loves you, and the fear of you being taken away from him is too much to bear.

So occasionally you’ll be put on house arrest so he knows you’re okay no matter what he’s doing or where he is.

If he’s out in missions while you’re at home, he always keeps his eyes open for things you might enjoy.

It started off with sea glass, some of the shards he’d find reminded him of the shine in your eyes

Other times it would be flowers

One time you complained to him about not having a pet, so he got you a moss ball

He didn’t want a stupid fish stinking up his room and he definitely didn’t want anything that could make noise

He soon learned the moss ball was a horrible idea though, because now every time he left you, he had to find some sort of material for you to make it a new hat. (You never asked him too)

The two of you don’t share the typical “I love yous” in relationships. He isn’t good at expressing any emotion that isn’t negative, and you don’t want to be over bearing when you know it’s hard for him ti say it back

Sometimes if he’s feeling really good, he’ll write the words out with the tip of his finger in the back of your hand.

And he’ll never admit it out loud, but he does it every night on your back once you fall asleep as a reminder to himself that you’re still here.

—

NSFW❤️‍🔥

Sex was complicated

Tomura was a virgin, he’d never cared enough to try before you came along, and even if he had he knew he’d just destroy whoever he tried with.

It was actually a pretty rare occurrence, your sex life was healthy, but it took awhile for him to feel safe touching you everywhere you wanted to be touched, you still felt fragile in his hands, even with the aid of the gloves you’d given him.

Though there was nothing he was against trying. No position was too bold, no act was too dangerous.

Once he found what he liked— he went all in.

His absolute favorite thing to do was pleasuring you.

He loved your harsh breaths, your whimpering.

He loved the fact that he could overpower you and gain complete control without even trying.

He would always start at your throat, nipping along the sides making sure you knew who was in charge and what he was going to do to you

He always made sure to leave a messy trail wherever he went, his tongue constantly darting out and tasting your sweet soft skin

Your breasts were his favorite, no matter how big or small, he loved leaving marks there, in a place only he ever got to see, a strong reminder that you belonged to him and him alone.

The malleable flesh always fit perfectly in his hands, he was sure they were made just for him

By the time he got down to your panties, your cunt would be pulsating and screaming to be touched

The way he would proceed would depend on how his day went

If he was pissed that day, he took time making you unwind, keeping your panties on, moving them ever so slightly to the side and blowing tiny puffs of air right where you wanted him most

He wanted you to squirm, to beg for release, dipping his tongue on every part of you but the part you craved, driving you insane with anticipation and want

He never went down on you properly when he was pissed, he never had too— he would tease and tease until the simple act of touching your inflamed clit drove you to finish

He always made sure you finished first, after all, you were his priority.

If he had a good day, he would eat you out until you saw stars

Ripping your panties down your thighs as if they were the plague, spreading you open and eating you as if you were the first meal he’d eaten in weeks

He craved the taste of you

He was almost positive the simple act of you comming in his mouth made him stronger.

If he could get over his anxiety’s of hurting you, he’d hold you down day and night, lapping you up until you couldn’t handle it anymore and begged him to stop

It was like a drug, a drug he loved to participate in.

When it came to intercourse, missionary was his favorite.

Seeing your face contort with pleasure as he fucked you senseless

The way your tits moved with his thrusts, it would be enough to drive any man mad.

He always made sure you were taken care of, weather he was rough, soft, or both, you always got the princess treatment

He would always return with a damp wash cloth, running it’s rough surface over your body, wiping away any trace of your activity

You were his prized possession, he needed to be sure you were polished to perfection— he simply didn’t trust you with that job. So he took it on himself.

#shigaraki tomura #shigaraki x reader #mha shigaraki #shigaraki x you #shigaraki imagine #shigaraki headcanons #mha #bnha #tomura shiragaki #tomura x reader #tomura shigiraki x reader #tomura x y/n #tomura x you

[effortandmore]

tuesday moon | knj (18+)

summary: being “just friends” with kim namjoon sucks

pairing: namjoon x f!reader

rating: explicit (18+ please)

genre: fluff, smut

au: university, co-workers to lovers to friends to lovers again (they're oblivious)

warnings: it's mostly fluff i think. they're oblivious. smut: minors should not be interacting/reading, namjoon has a big dick, a lil praise kink, oral sex (f!receiving), penetrative sex, the usual suspects i think. drinking (but not before they sleep together), tae is into new age jazz... and they were roommates!

word count: 7.7k

a/n: so... i had this dream a couple months ago and couldn't get it out of my head, so here you go. thanks, sleep brain. the title is from a neutral milk hotel song (but tbh the '23 album isn't great). thank you to @ugh-yoongi and @the-boy-meets-evil for reading this over. and then for doing it again when i couldn't even find the mistake you told me was there 🙃

read on ao3

You’ve learned a lot in university—which given how much money you’ve spent to be there is a relief. But amongst business classes and writing workshops and statistics, the most important knowledge you’ve gained is that of small things. 

Of small things and how they can change your life in unbelievably big ways. 

Kim Namjoon isn’t exactly small. But the events that put him right in the middle of your life are. The first day you meet him is a Tuesday. Tuesdays have always been for non-events: for meetings and your least favorite classes… For snagging a coveted dryer on the third floor of the dorm building because Jeongguk saves it for you when he’s finished with his seemingly endless laundry. Tuesdays are for your first real uni friend, Taehyung, to show up to the laundry room unannounced and make you listen to weird new-age jazz on his phone that you hate, but love how much he loves it.

And then your work-study starts. A job in the library is supposed to be easy, has better hours than a lot of the jobs that are available, and pretty much only requires you to understand the Dewey decimal system so you can reshelve things quickly. You can count and read, and those seem to be the only things the head librarian cares about. Cake. 

Your first training day is a Tuesday. It’s a rainy afternoon, and in one of the conference rooms in the back of the law floor are you and three other new employees. Right away, it seems like Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon are already friends. They joke and whisper throughout the orientation videos and absolutely make you feel like a fourth wheel. At your first break, Hoseok extends the invitation for you to sit with them when he notices you still sitting by yourself in the back of the room, and it's then that you learn they for sure already knew each other—music majors and all in the same class even though Yoongi is a little older than the other two. They signed up for all the same work-study assignments hoping they’d be placed together, hoping they could have a chance to work on music during slow times at the slowest work-study assignments. Namjoon, though, who has been quiet the whole time, finally speaks up at this. 

“Well, I also like books,” he says softly, one side of his mouth turned up in a grin. “So, I guess I had an ulterior motive.” 

“Of course you did, Namjoonie,” Hoseok replies. 

Yoongi turns to you, explaining, “Namjoon’s a double major. Smartest guy we know. Literature and music.”

You talk more with them after the ice is broken—Yoongi’s a double major, too, math and music. Hoseok raps and does street dancing in his free time, and around the three of them, you feel like you’re woefully underachieving just at life in general. 

“What about you?” Namjoon prompts after you get some background on all of them. 

“Ah… nothing impressive. Economics major. Just what my parents wanted, you know. But I like books, too. I volunteer at the public library already, but it doesn’t exactly help with tuition.” 

“You volunteer?” Namjoon repeats, looking surprised. 

“Oh, yeah… It’s no big deal. I just read books to kids sometimes.” 

“That’s awesome,” he says, and the look on his face tells you he might actually mean it. Next to him, Yoongi snickers and Hoseok smiles brightly at you. 

“Namjoonie here has wanted to volunteer doing park clean up for a while, but Yoongi and I are always dragging him to the studio on the weekends, so he doesn’t have time.” 

Namjoon shrugs. “It would be nice to feel like I’m helping, I think.” 

“It is,” you agree, sharing a look with him across the table. “The purpose of life is to be useful…” You mumble the quote under your breath, assuming they wouldn’t know what you meant anyway. 

“Emerson?” Namjoon asks. 

“Oh! Uh… yeah, I mean… That’s what people think, but probably not. It’s most likely from a speech someone else gave when they gave Emerson an award, but most people think it’s him—” you cut yourself off when you notice Namjoon’s eyes gone wide.

“Self Reliance is one of my favorites,” he says, leaning forward, excitement playing in his voice. 

“Same! No one ever knows what I’m talking about, but ‘Nothing at last is sacred but the integrity of one’s own mind’ is maybe my whole life philosophy,” you ramble, just happy that someone might finally know what you’re talking about. No one in your economics classes ever shows any interest in philosophy, anyway. Your roommate calls you a nerd every time you bring stuff like this up, and Jeongguk just stares at you with big eyes like he wants to drink every word you're saying but doesn’t understand a drop of it. But Namjoon actually looks… interested in what you’re saying. More than interested, even.

Yoongi elbows Hoseok and smirks. “Namjoon’s in trouble,” he says. 

But before you can ask what that means, the head librarian interrupts to tell you it’s time to get back to training. You have to partner up for training to use the library’s reservation and shelving programs, and Namjoon comes right up to you, grinning shyly, and asks if you want to be his partner while his friends whisper on the other side of the room. You know immediately how this is going to go. Or you think you do, anyway.

And you’re right. By the end of the first week of your work study, you’re in Kim Namjoon’s bed. 

It’s just like it sounds. 

You’re naked, legs bent at the knees and open with his head between them. You noticed his brain first, but it only took that first afternoon to realize that not only was he smart, but stupid hot and kind and sort of funny in the sarcastic way you like, and he seemed to like something about you, too.

On Saturday, you work a slow shift together, both of you using most of the time to catch up on homework, and when it’s over, he asks if you want to come back to his place and keep studying. You agree quickly, but as soon as you get there, you realize you’re both on the same page about being more interested in studying each other than your class work. One thing leads to another, and here you are, moaning into your own palm as he flicks his tongue over your clit in a steady rhythm. 

“Namjoon, I–” You’re pathetic, you think, gasping and barely able to make words come out of your mouth, but fuck if he’s not good at this. Better than you’d thought he would be, actually. He came across as a little on the shy side during work, like he might be one of those guys who needs you to tell him where the clit is. Eager to please, but not quite sure how to go about it. Willing to take direction. 

He is not that.

“Gonna come, baby? You like my tongue that much?” Namjoon lifts his head to ask, and his lips are slick with you and his voice is deep and his fingers just don’t stop moving… It's so much. 

“Yeah, so close…”

At that, Namjoon smirks and ducks his head back down to finish the job. He makes quick work of you, sucking on your clit and twisting one of your nipples with his free hand. The other has two fingers fucking into you in just the right way, just shallow enough to hit your g-spot each time he pushes in. 

The orgasm builds fast, pressure from the inside, pressure from the outside… Everything feels so, so good, and you try to tell him so, but all you can do is whimper through it, clenching your thighs around his ears when you come on his tongue and he tries (bless him) to keep licking your core as your knees shake. 

“Fuck,” you say on an exhale, arm tossed over your own forehead.

“I’m down,” he teases. 

You’re about to say something sarcastic back, but when you lift your arm and look down at him, you lose that train of thought. He looks fucking incredible: flushed, a little sweaty, chin shiny with your orgasm and he’s grinning with those stupid dimples out… How could you not give him everything he wants? Maybe it’s the orgasm talking, the sweet rush of dopamine affecting you when you say, “I want that. Fuck me…” And for emphasis, when he stares at you a little stunned, you add, “Please, Namjoon?” 

He only nods, enthusiastically and a little dopey with it, a little like the boy you saw in the library. But when his cock is out—big… like, really big. Why even have a cock that large, really? What’s even the point of that?—he’s smirking and appropriately (you hope) confident again. 

“That is…” you look down and make a vague gesture in the direction of his dick, which makes him look down, too. 

He shies almost instantly. “Yeah, it’s okay if it’s too much or whatever…”

“No! That’s not what I meant. I just… You look good.” You scoot up so you can have level eye contact. “Want you to fuck me. I can handle it, promise. I want to.” 

Namjoon swallows, visibly nervous, but agrees anyway. 

You knew it would be fine. Any partner who makes sure to tell you you’re beautiful, who makes sure you come first, who pays attention to your body the way he has for the last couple hours is probably going to keep doing that, you decide. And he does. He’s careful, even though you think it might actually be killing him a little to not move once he’s over halfway inside you. He checks in with you, makes sure the consent is still there, and then when you ask him to “actually fuck me, Namjoon… want your cock… all of you,” he does. And he delivers. 

You’re essentially sitting in his lap, his palms spread on your hips as he moves you on his cock and it is… Well, it’s unequivocally the best anyone’s ever fucked you. His lips are on your neck, your breasts, the swell underneath them where they meet your ribcage… He keeps talking to you in his raspy whisper, making sure you feel okay, telling you how good you feel to him. There are times when he gets a little porny, telling you how tight you are (you’re sure a cock that big hasn’t seen anything not tight), and then he says, half out of breath, “Knew you would be a good girl. Knew it from the first time I saw you.” And you didn’t even know you wanted to be a ‘good girl,’ but suddenly you very much do. 

Before he comes, he makes sure you do again, too. His thumb finds your clit and his lips are hot against your ear, whispering filth when you tighten around his cock and shudder in his lap. He’s not far behind you, pulling your hips down when he thrusts into you a little harder, sweat beading on his forehead with the effort. He’s quiet when he comes, just a low moan of your name as he stills under you. 

After, it’s the small things he does that you like. It’s nice that he doesn’t try and move right away, just runs his hands up and down your back—soothing, almost. The closeness is nice, his head resting against your collarbone while you stroke your fingers through his hair. It feels intimate, more than a first time or a one night stand with your coworker should. But neither of you make a move to change that, so maybe it’s alright. 

For now. 

You haven’t exactly been the most social university student, but you know how these things are supposed to go. You clean up, you get dressed, you make awkward small talk about your classes or your work study and then you go your separate ways. You go back to your apartment and you don’t talk about what happened. He might look at you like he knows what’s underneath your hoodie next time you see him, but you know it won’t happen again. That’s not how it works. Not for you, anyway.

Kim Namjoon is a good guy, that you’re sure of. He’s a hard worker, he’s smart, he has lots of friends and hobbies and between that and school and work, you know there’s no way he’s looking for a relationship, and you also know he’s going to do his best to let you down easy if he thinks that’s what you’re after. 

But, he’s your friend. And your co-worker, and the sex was great, so you want to at least spare him the effort of all that. So, when he gets up to dispose of the condom and find a washcloth, you get dressed quietly, pack your textbooks, and do your best to look mostly put together by the time he comes back. 

“So,” you start as he returns to his room, “that was great… Really great, Namjoonie. Thank you.” 

He looks… confused. “You’re thanking me for sex?” 

“I uh… yes?”

Namjoon gives you a dimpled smile with an eyebrow raised, clearly amused. “Okay… Well, you’re welcome, then. And thank you.” He gives you a teasing bow, and with it, you feel a little relief. Because he’s obviously ready to move forward and this can just be a fun thing that happened and you don’t have to make him worry about letting you down, and you don’t have to worry about how much you fucking like him already. You can just be friends. 

The problem, you realize quickly, is that being “just friends” with Kim Namjoon sucks. 

It’s like sending your poor, delusional heart through a cheese grater with each of your work-study shifts. It’s swallowing down every dream of happiness when you have to sit next to him at a party and watch him nod along in agreement as Hoseok tells him how hot the new guy in his dance class is. (The guy is hot, with at least a 6-pack, big, pouty lips, and biceps like cannons. So, even you have to agree they have a point.)

Okay, that’s probably dramatic. Incredibly dramatic according to Taehyung and Jeongguk. Which, honestly, says a lot coming from them. 

So, you do your best to forget your crush and just be cool about everything. You both make a frankly commendable effort to never talk about what happened between you, and after a few weeks, things don’t feel quite so weird. Namjoon’s probably relieved you never mentioned it again, didn’t expect him to be your boyfriend or anything. 

You think you’ve done well. 

At one party, halfway through the semester, you meet Namjoon’s friend, Seokjin. He’s quiet at first, polite with a big smile and a nervous laugh. He sticks close to Yoongi and Namjoon, and it doesn’t take long before he’s being shuttled across the large backyard in your direction. 

“Hi,” he says simply. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“Oh! That’s good… I think?” 

“Yah, Namjoonie here—”

“Well, that was great!” Namjoon interjects. “Glad you two finally met. We’re late for something, though. So, bye!” And then he’s pulling Seokjin behind him through the yard in the opposite direction. It’s so weird. 

In his protests, you’re pretty sure you hear him say, “You’re ridiculous,” to Namjoon. If you were more sober, you would have recognized it as the first small thing that should have tipped you off. 

The second thing happens right before summer break. Your whole group, consisting of your and Namjoon’s friends, are sitting around at lunch discussing everyone’s plans for the summer. Hoseok and Jimin (the hot dancer he wouldn’t shut up about who is now his new boyfriend) are going to a dance clinic on the other side of the country. Jeongguk is going home, promising you he’ll leave you a list of acceptable laundromats in his absence. Seokjin and Taehyung are working—teaching acting classes to teenagers at summer camp. 

Yoongi’s got an internship, so he’ll be around, but barely since it’s in the city and your university is a little outside of town. It’s a long subway trip, so he’s got a sublet up there he’s moving into for the summer months. 

And then it’s Namjoon’s turn. 

“I’m staying. Not on campus, obviously. But I found an apartment and I’m looking for a roommate.” Everyone nods along except Jeongguk, whose eyes dart from Namjoon to you and back several times. 

“What about noona?” he finally says, hooking a thumb in your direction. “She’s staying, too.” 

“Oh, I don’t think—”

“That’s not a bad idea…” 

Namjoon and you look at one another. He’s flushed, and he’s doing that thing he does when he’s nervous where he rubs his throat. 

“I’m sure Namjoon has plenty of people in mind already,” you say, trying to give him the out he clearly wants. 

“Not exactly,” he mumbles. 

“This is perfect!” Seokjin exclaims. “Don’t you think this is perfect, Namjoon?” 

You lean over to whisper to Namjoon, “You don’t have to, it’s really alright.” It feels like you’re making him nervous, you can feel his muscles stiffen where you’re touching his arm, and the flush he was sporting is spreading to his neck now. 

“Would you even want to?” He asks softly.

You’re not sure, actually. It’s already hard work trying to put your stupid crush out of your mind most days. And now, you only see him a few days a week. Your brain (a logical friend) is telling you that living with him will be terrible for your heart. Your heart isn’t as smart and is pounding faster just thinking about spending more time around your crush. Friend, you correct yourself. 

The problem is that only Tae and Jeongguk know about your feelings, and none of them know you and Namjoon have already slept together. So, if you say no, it might be weird. As far as they know, you’re just friends, good friends. Why wouldn’t you want to live with him?

“Yeah,” you reply brightly, swallowing down your nerves, “it’ll be great, Joonie. I can cook and you can help me study for my summer classes.” You’re nodding along as you speak, trying to convince yourself that what you’re saying is true. 

“Okay… sure. Roommates,” he says, looking a little stunned.

“Roommates!”

You stick your hand out to shake his. You’re the least sexy person to have ever existed, you decide, as he laughs and shakes your hand. 

“It was a terrible idea,” you whine into Taehyung’s lap. “He’s just here… all the time. And sometimes…”

“Yeah?”

“Sometimes he doesn’t wear a shirt!” You slump further into your friend, making what you know are pitiful whining noises into his thighs.

It’s not like you’d go as far as saying moving in with Namjoon for the summer was a mistake. But it wasn’t great. Actually, it was really fucking great, and that was the problem. Or part of the problem anyway. 

The apartment is nice—nicer than you’d envisioned when he told you about it. Not too big, but on the corner of the building so you got nice light throughout the day. You each have your own bedroom (thank god) and they aren’t large, but Namjoon gave you the one with the room for a chair by the window, even though you knew he’d been planning to write lyrics there. As promised, you cook for both of you in your small kitchen and Namjoon helps you with your summer classes. 

With all of your friends gone or busy, you two don’t see much of them, and it feels like you build your own little world: late nights listening to the records he brings home, eating simple meals by the window and complaining that you don’t have a balcony, getting dragged out on bike rides when the sun falls and it’s cool enough outside, hunched together on the floor of the living room scrolling webtoons and drinking one too many cheap beers, and the worst (best) of all—falling asleep on the couch together before you wake up with a jolt realizing your head is on him and it’s far, far too much to realize his chest is in your face… so you scramble to your room like a coward and don’t fall back asleep, too keyed up. 

Seokjin, when you do see him, adds in more and more “old married couple” jokes as the summer goes on. He makes fun of your chore lists on the fridge, cutely decorated with whatever doodle has been occupying Namjoon’s mind that week. 

(Jin doesn’t even know that when all the chores are done, you save the little post-it notes, snatching them off the fridge when Namjoon’s not around or not paying attention, and putting them carefully into a little box in your desk drawer with all the other scraps and mementos of your friendship you’ve kept over the almost-year you’ve known him.)

Jin teases you when he lets himself in, late in the mornings, and finds the two of you still asleep, tumbled atop each other on the floor, record-listening session gone too late, the needle still digging into invisible grooves at the center. 

It’s not his fault it doesn’t feel like a joke to you, he doesn’t know that you feel like the 45 and all of the jokes and all of Namjoon’s smiles and all of the little notes he leaves and the way he blushes when you come out of the bathroom in your robe like maybe maybe there’s just a chance you’re not the only one still thinking about that one time… that those are the needles, and you’re here, spinning in place while they poke and prod and dig for a melody that just isn’t there. 

Namjoon, to his credit, is the very definition of a good friend and roommate. He does all the little things. He brings you breakfast sometimes when he’s been out all night and knows you’ll be waking up shortly after he comes home. He cleans, so that even though he’s got so much stuff (endless records and books and figurines and things he just thought were cute), your apartment never feels dirty, just lived-in and homey and a little cluttered. Buys toothpaste when you forget—before you forget, even. Puts your favorite flavor of soju in the fridge every week even though he hates it. 

And it’s not just what he does at home (your home. with him. which you try not to think about because the way the thought makes your heart swell and almost burst is dangerous and confusing, and you hate that you can’t stop thinking about it entirely.) he takes you out, too.  It helps that he’s more social than you: gets you outside in the real world between classes and studying. Makes sure you touch grass. Does stupid dances with you to bad music at worse clubs. Buys you hotteok at 2am because he knows you want it even though you won’t admit it so he says both pieces are for him and lets you argue that it’s bad for his heart and you’re willing to take one off his hands just for the sake of his health… because you care for him. 

You don’t let yourself think about the way it seems like he flushes and his eyes twinkle a little when you say that. It’s got to be in your imagination. 

He doesn’t know that each time he goes out of his way to do something nice for you hurts a little. Doesn’t know that each time he’s a touch too sweet, you wish you’d stayed that one time. Can’t possibly relate to the way you wish that one night turned into a date turned into something more, maybe. 

And you know he can’t relate, because he’s started doing this thing while you’ve been living together: talking about someone. Someone that he likes. 

It’s devastating and you try so hard not to cry on the nights when it comes up. You succeed in never crying in front of him, but if you drip snot onto your pillow trying to hold back your sobs once you’re alone in your room, he doesn’t have to know. 

You don’t know who she is, but you’ve overheard Namjoon on the phone with Yoongi talking about her. She sounds great, if Namjoon’s probably clouded judgment is any indication. He thinks she’s smart and talented, says she sells herself short and he thinks she’s as close to perfect as anyone on the planet. He doesn’t go out without you too often, and you don’t ask where he’s been if he doesn’t offer, but he must be spending time with her because you catch him on a video call with Hoseok saying she can cook and she’s brilliant and she’s everything he’s ever wanted. 

She also sounds like she doesn’t know what she’s got, because Namjoon’s convinced she doesn’t like him back and that she’s out of his league—you finally ascertain that the reason he’s been going to the gym more was because one time she said she thought another guy had nice biceps and he knows they were bigger than his. 

One time, you come home late, catching Tae at a bar near campus after he’s done with classes and drinking a little too much. You’re not drunk, but you’re in that warm space past sober where everything is a little softer and funnier and Namjoon looks dangerously pretty sitting at his desk with headphones on working on a song. 

You plop on his bed, as you do now, and wait for him to notice you’re there. It doesn’t take long. 

“Hey,” he says as he pulls off the headphones. He’s giving you the double-dimple smile, which is especially effective when you’re tipsy like this. Throws you more off-kilter than another cocktail would have. “Have fun with Tae?”

“Hmm… yeah.” You lay back on his bed and don’t let yourself worry about your shirt riding up or your hair spilling around you in a haystack. It’s just Namjoon, and you know he doesn’t think about you like that, know he’s already seen you with more skin showing, hair messier. 

“Need me to get you some water?”

“No,” you sit up on your elbows, “s’okay. Didn’t drink too much. What’re you working on?” 

Namjoon is staring right at you, something indiscernible on his face. He looks almost like he’s in pain or something. “You alright?”

He shakes his head and looks embarrassed. You have no idea why. “Yeah, fine… I’m fine. Just a song, nothing too special.” 

“Can I hear it?” 

“It’s personal… Kind of silly. It’s not done yet… I’m not sure you’d like it,” he says. 

“I like everything you make.” It comes out too honest, you’re not sober enough to hide the tenderness in your voice, to wrap it in something less vulnerable.

There’s no response to that, and you worry you’ve given too much away for a split second before he unplugs his headphones and hits play on the song. And if you thought the sight of him working, bathed in moonlight and neon, was beautiful, this song is truly something else. 

It’s lovely—sweeping melody and building building with layers until it crashes all around you, his voice low and quick, persistent with words of love. It’s a love song disguised as wordplay, or maybe the other way around. It’s him in music: smart and beautiful and selfless and breathtaking… You want to keep it, you want it to be yours, you want the words to be about you or for you or just written with you in the back of his mind. It’s too much, it’s so so beautiful, and you know it’s about her. It’s for her. She’s the one who has his attention and who gets his words and it makes you want to crawl under your blankets and never come out like a petulant child. 

You’re laying down again, so you don’t know what he’s looking at as you listen. When it ends, you’re asking the question even though you don’t want the answer, even though him saying it will make it too real. “Is it about her?” you whisper. 

“Yeah,” he answers, just as quietly. “It’s about her.” 

You sit up quick, make sure you’re turned away from him so he can’t see the tears that are beginning to drip down your cheeks. 

“It’s pretty,” you say as you head toward the door, hopefully not giving yourself away, not looking back in his direction. “Really pretty. She’s lucky, Namjoonie.” 

You don’t see the confusion on his face as your bedroom door closes behind you. You don’t hear him tell you goodnight in a small, concerned voice. 

After song-gate, you do your best to put a brave face on and move forward. It’s more for him than you, you have to tell yourself. Because you, your heart, you don’t want to let him go, can’t stand the idea of watching him be happy with someone else. But you, Kim Namjoon’s best friend, you want nothing more than for him to be happy, even if it’s not with you. And it’s hard, but for the most part, you let that version of you win. 

You give him broad smiles and you keep not asking where he’s going when he leaves without you. You try really hard not to overhear his calls with Hoseok and Yoongi and when you do, you give him a ridiculous double-thumbs up and tell him to go for it, that she’d be a fool to turn him down. You’re pretty sure you’re the only one who ends up looking foolish in that moment though, even if you really, truly mean it. 

One day (of course it’s a Tuesday), you come home from class, and you’re sorting through the mail when you spot a card on the counter that wasn’t there in the morning. Namjoon must’ve left it when he came home, you can hear the shower running from down the hall. It’s rare he beats you home on Tuesdays, always saying he’s got “something” to do “across town” and you just assume it’s with her, so you don’t ask. 

But what’s more interesting than him being home early is what the card is: a temporary driver license issued to one Kim Namjoon. It’s got a picture of him, dimples out and glasses on, dated that day. You hadn’t even known he’d taken the class or the tests. You wonder why he wouldn’t tell you… It’s a big deal to him—he’d always said he didn’t need it, liked taking the bus and the metro. Thought cars were bad for the planet and that there were too many of them in the city anyway. But here’s the card, proof that for some reason he thought it was time for a change. 

“Oh! You… I didn’t mean for you to find that…” 

You look up. Namjoon’s standing by the couch, watching you examine his license, wrapped in a towel because if there’s a god, he only wants you to suffer. 

“You got your license?”

“Ah… the temporary one, yeah. Still need to take the road test.” 

He seems nervous, fidgeting with the blanket on the back of the sofa. You don’t know why he’d be nervous, it’s cool, you think. One more thing to add to the seemingly endless list of things Namjoon can do. 

“Proud of you, Namjoonie. But… why? I thought you didn’t want to drive.” 

He shrugs. “Don’t really, but… I just thought… Well, I thought if I got up the nerve to ask someone on a date, it would be nice to drive her. Just once or twice. Make it special, I guess. It’s probably stupid, but I thought y—” He cuts himself off and pauses. Looks out the window and scrunches his forehead up like he’s scolding himself. “I thought she might like that,” he says, finally. 

“Did she tell you to get a license?” You’re sure you sound as outraged as you feel when you ask. 

“No! She wouldn’t… No. I just wanted to try.” 

“Okay. Okay, good. You shouldn’t change yourself for anyone, Joonie.” And then you do that thing again, where you say too much, where it comes out too fond. “You’re more than enough just the way you are. If she doesn’t know that, she’s not good enough for you.” 

Namjoon smiles softly. “I’m starting to think she does,” he says. 

And the look on his face… It’s happiness and warmth and fuck you wish it was for you. Those nagging feelings of wanting more more more from him are welling up in your chest. “Good,” you say, still too tender as you set the card in his palm and scoot past him to your room, mail forgotten. “That’s the very least of what you deserve.” 

Later that night, you’ve tucked the soft and vulnerable parts of you back inside, showered, ordered food, and sent Namjoon down to pick it up with a stop at the convenience store for soju and beer. You can do this, you tell yourself in the mirror, psyching yourself up for the first time you both will hang out with all your friends in months.

The summer is drawing to an end. Seokjin and Taehyung are done teaching, Jimin and Hoseok got back over the weekend, Yoongi’s internship ended the week prior, and Jeongguk is back from his visit home, everyone returning in time to buy books and settle in for the new semester. 

You and Namjoon have decided to keep the apartment: close enough to campus, affordable enough, and you both bashfully agreed you liked living together, an arrangement sealed with the secret handshake greeting from a drama you’d watched together over the summer. So, you have the biggest apartment out of all your friends (which doesn’t say much), and they’ve all decided in your group chat that the group “welcome home” party would take place in your living room. 

Seokjin and Taehyung arrive first, Jeongguk in tow. They’re pouring through your door play-fighting and laughing and for a minute, you forget your crush on your roommate, you forget he’s pining after someone else, and you just feel so much joy that your friends are back as they pull you into a crushing group hug. 

“We brought wine,” Seokjin says. 

“Ew!” (A twin chorus from you and Jeongguk). 

“Fine, you two have your cheap soju and leave the good stuff for the rest of us.”

“Hyung, that bottle was only six—”

“Shh! Have some respect!” Seokjin says, slapping in the air in Tae’s general direction. 

They file into the kitchen to drop off snacks and cheap wine while you leave to dig around in Namjoon’s room for some records to play. It’s a hassle, finding enough that you like and then having to flip them every fifteen minutes, so you finally give up and resign yourself to just playing a playlist off your phone. Or anyone’s phone except Taehyung’s anyway, because “experimental jazz night” was not a hit last time he suckered you all into it. 

When you come back down the hall, your kitchen is suspiciously quiet. There is whispering and you can’t hear what they’re saying but you know anytime Jeongguk and Seokjin are colluding that it means trouble. 

“What’s going on in here?” You ask as you make it back to the kitchen. 

The three of them are reading the notes on your fridge and they all hop around immediately. Jeongguk and Taehyung have the decency to look guilty, but Seokjin just looks like he’s unearthed the lost city or something. 

“What are these?” he asks, eyebrow raised. 

“Our shopping list? Chore list?”

Seokjin grins. “No, not those… These.” He plucks a sticky off the fridge and starts reading it aloud. 

“...And greet the all auspicious day,

Whose privilege permits my song—”

You can feel your face like a wildfire, hot and persistent, as you snatch the piece of paper out of his hand and tuck it in your pocket.

“That’s nothing. Just a poem” 

“That’s not nothing, that’s a love poem.” 

“We just leave each other quotes sometimes,” you mutter, fussing around the kitchen, opening the bags of snacks and setting them on the counter. “It’s no big deal. Just a small thing.” 

Jeongguk looks at you with wide eyes. “And you sometimes leave each other love poems?” he asks cautiously. 

“I guess… It’s whatever,” you say. 

“What’s whatever?” Hoseok’s bright voice drifts into the room. You snap your head up to see that he’s with Jimin, and they’re followed in by Yoongi and Namjoon, carrying all the food and drinks. 

“Namjoon hyung and Noona leave each other love notes on the fridge!” Jeongguk says brightly. “It’s so cute.” 

Your jaw actually drops, and you see in your periphery, Namjoon’s is doing the same. 

“They’re not love notes!” You protest. 

“They’re poems,” Namjoon adds with indignance.

“Besides,” you add, “he’s got a girlfriend or whatever.” You know you sound a little annoyed, and you don’t want to, but it’s worth it if it gets them off your backs. 

“Wait, what?” Yoongi finally joins the conversation, peeking his head around the corner into the kitchen. 

Six pairs of eyes are on you, and one (Namjoon’s) is anywhere but. You get the offputting feeling that something is happening, but you don’t know what. That the boys staring at you know something you don’t. 

“Namjoonie… He’s got a girl he likes. So, they’re not love notes. They’re just quotes we like.” 

Yoongi stares at you like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing, and then Hoseok says, “Oh my god, they are that bad.” 

Seokjin nods. “The worst, actually.” 

“What? What is going on?” You ask. The question is directed at anyone, but you’re looking straight at Namjoon, who still won’t look at you. 

“I’m just gonna open some soju,” Jimin says. “Come on, guys.” 

The statement is clearly directed at Seokjin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk, who are all still huddled by the fridge, clearly amused at whatever is unfolding in your kitchen. One by one, they file out. Namjoon tries to follow them, but Yoongi unceremoniously shoves him back into the kitchen with a hissed, “I don’t think so, Namjoon.” 

“I’m so confused,” you say quietly. Namjoon finally lifts his gaze to meet yours, and he looks so so nervous. Just like the day you’d agreed to be roommates. You have no idea why, because you’d never do anything to make him feel that way, not on purpose. “Is this about her? I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have—” 

“No! I mean… yeah, it’s about her. Or you, I guess?”

“Me?”

Namjoon nods. He takes a deep breath and shoves his hands in his pockets. “You. You and her.” 

“I don’t even know her, Namjoonie.”

He sighs. “You are her.” 

You’re every meme of confused people trying to do math. You think you probably have a literal question mark above your head. You think you heard him right but… but there’s no way that it’s what he meant.

“What?”

Namjoon looks like it’s almost painful to keep speaking, also a little apologetic. “I like you,” he says, shrugging. “I like you so much, and I’m a dick for agreeing to be your roommate when I felt that way, and I thought after that one time… Well, I thought maybe you needed more and that’s why it never happened again, so I started going to the gym more and trying to… I don’t know. Be more?” He runs a hand through his hair and slumps against the counter. “I just like you so much and I wanted you to like me, too. But I—”

“You like me?”

“Oh, fuck, so much.” It’s almost out like a breath, floats through the space between the two of you, waves itself in front of your face. 

“That’s why you thought it would be weird to be roommates…” you say, pieces clicking together. 

“Yeah,” Namjoon agrees. “And why I tried to get biceps like Jimin and why I leave you love notes on the fridge, and why I wrote you a whole song about how incredible you are, how you make me feel, and how much I want you even though you don’t want me back…” 

“Biceps like Jimin?” 

“You said they were nice…” 

“Oh my god.” Little details of the past few months since you slept together all start floating around in your head and you see it so clearly now, it all starts to make sense, all the silly little things Namjoon does for you because it’s you, because he likes you… and oh no…

“Namjoon.” 

“Yeah?” He’s painfully cute like this—nervous and a little shy, hair falling into his eyes like it can protect him from looking right at you. 

You take a couple of steps closer to him. “I like you, too.” 

“You what?” 

“I like you, too. Just the way you are. I like all the nice small things you do for me, I like how you think, I like how you smell like soap all the time ‘cause you take a million showers… I like living with you… I like your records and your books and… And it’s stupid probably, but I save all your doodles like a teenager would ‘cause I just like you so fucking much… And I’m the bad friend, the one who moved in with you even though I liked you like this. I thought I would get over it.  I thought… I don’t know. I thought after we slept together you just wanted to be friends, so I’ve been trying so hard, but…”

“It’s awful,” he says, a giant grin on his face as he watches you stumble through your confession. “I thought you just wanted to be friends, too. You left before I could ask you to stay.” 

“Yeah, it is awful. Liked you since that first day in the library.” 

“Fuck, me too. We’re so ridiculous.” 

“Jin was right, we’re the worst,” you whisper. 

“You are!” You hear Jin call from the living room.

You let your head fall forward and bury it in Namjoon’s chest as he wraps an arm (with a perfectly sized bicep, you note, reminding yourself to tell him later) around you and laughs into your hair. 

“You’re listening to us?” you protest. 

“Hard not to,” Yoongi answers, “small apartment.” 

“You fucked?!” Hoseok yells.  

“Oh my god,” you moan into Namjoon’s shirt. 

“I bet they made love,” you hear a dreamy-voiced Jimin chime in.

You can feel Namjoon’s laugh rumble through his chest against your ear. It’s the best feeling you’ve felt in months. 

“So,” you start, pulling your head off his chest, but letting him slide his arm down yours until you’re loosely holding hands. “What now?” 

“Well, we should probably talk.” 

You peek around him to see your friends all staring at you. “Maybe later?” you ask. 

“Later is good.” Namjoon smiles so so big. You love knowing that you’re the one making him feel happy, you think you’re a little ridiculous for being jealous of some other non-existent girl this whole time.

“We like each other,” you say, still a little in shock. 

“We do.” 

Then, because you’re you, and you have not ever once been cool in front of Kim Namjoon, you lift your palm up. And because he’s him, and now you know he probably thinks he has never once been cool around you, he gives you a high five, his palm connecting with yours and then lingering there while you look at each other and you try not to lift up on your toes and kiss the shit out of him. 

“Did they just high five?” Hoseok asks, incredulous. 

“They’re so weird. Do you remember when they shook hands on being roommates when it was so obvious they wanted to jump each other on the couch? They probably kissed no tongue and called it sex,” Seokjin says, unhelpfully. 

“Hey!” you shout. “We can hear you!” 

“The sex was really great, for your information,” Namjoon says, and your face heats immediately. 

“It was,” you agree, if for no other reason than it really really was. And you want to make Seokjin as uncomfortable as possible. “Namjoon really knows wh—”

“This is going to be even worse than them being oblivious, isn’t it?” Yoongi asks no one in particular, cutting you off.

But that night after your friends leave, and you do get the chance to kiss Namjoon again, who is now not only your roommate, but your boyfriend, you know Yoongi couldn’t have been more wrong. This is infinitely better than being oblivious to Namjoon's feelings.

“What do you see in me?” he says into the ceiling, sweaty and a little hazy post-orgasm, after you’d made sure to seal your new arrangement properly. No high fives, no handshakes, just long kisses and nervous touches turning more sure, Namjoon making sure to whisper into your skin how much he cares for you, how sexy he thinks you are, how long he’s waited to have you again like this… 

(And you returning those words, moving your hips in slow circles in his lap, fingernails trailing across his shoulders as you tell him how good he is, how gorgeous he looks, how his biceps are the exact right size for you to squeeze—which makes him laugh while he fucks you, and if that’s not the best thing you’ll ever see in your life, you’re not sure what is...)

You lace your fingers with his and turn to him, thinking about all the things you love about him, how all those pieces layer together to make something so big that it seems to take up your whole heart. “I like all the small things that make you, you.” 

And he kisses you as a reply, lips soft and sweet on yours, and you decide that from now on, Tuesdays are for kissing your boyfriend in the moonlight and making sure he knows exactly how much you like him so that neither of you are ever unsure again. 

#namjoon fic #namjoon smut #namjoon imagine #namjoon x you #namjoon x reader #namjoon fluff #namjoon fanfiction #knj x reader #kvanity #btshoneyhive #bts smut #bts fluff #bts writing #bts fanfic #bts imagines

[tcfactory]

Good morning, I bring you another very nonsense SVSSS idea today.

Shen Yuan transmigrates as Shen Jiu's shizun. He has a System, but it really doesn't interfere with anything because what would it even do when Luo Binghe's parents haven't even met yet? Su Xiyan hasn't even been born yet.

So Shen Yuan has several really cool centuries to be the immortal master he really wants to be! Since nothing he has done affects the plot, he spends a lot of that time ignoring his disciples (he figures out in the first few decades that teaching is primarily the job of the hallmasters) and focusing on sightseeing and learning all about the flora and fauna of his least favorite webnovel world. He's considered a fine person, kind when he remembers to be present in the moment, but usually detached from worldly matters, which is not a bad thing for an immortal master pushing his fifteenth century to be, but it's to his detriment in some ways: he is both noble-born and beyond mortal weakness. Some of his modern sensibilities have definitely faded after such a long life in this world and by spending much of that time in the company of his nearly indestructible martial siblings. He's a master who does not wield the whip himself, but orders punishment with the ignorance of someone who has forgotten that to people who don't have more than a thousand years of cultivation, the whip does far more than 'sting a little'.

He still tries to speak up about that whole matter with the boy and the sword and the cave. He knows a plant that could help the boy without all this breaking-every-bone nonsense, but that's the first time his System intervenes and stops him. He assumes the kid would have been someone who could have opposed Luo Binghe eventually so he's fated to die instead and lets the matter go. If anything, he's more excited that the System finally made a move, because that means they are nearing the time when Luo Binghe will appear! He doesn't follow the incident and he's daydreaming about a rare beast he discovered on his latest trip when his shixiong announces the appointment of his succeeding disciple, so he completely misses that Yue Qingyuan survived the cave.

During the fated Immortal Alliance Conference he's too busy checking on his own disciples to be of any help in resolving the incident with Shen Jiu, so the sect leader (who is getting really tired of how unreliable his 'sect strategist' is) dumps the semi-feral orphan on his peak as punishment. Shidi likes wild creatures, right? Here's a wild creature for you, have fun making a man out of him.

Shen Yuan doesn't make the connection between Shen Jiu, prickly street kid, and Shen Qingqiu, peerless immortal with a rotten personality, because he falls into the group of readers who assumed Shen Qingqiu was a noble young master. Shen is a pretty common name, after all. He gives the kid some remedial lessons - in reading, writing, etiquette, the arts, etc. - gives him some encouraging words and then leaves the kid to his own devices once it's clear that he doesn't need coddling. He's a tough cookie who can handle himself and besides, the good-natured head disciple from Qiong Ding keeps coming over to check on him, so he already has other support! His shizun hovering over him and favoring him too much would just make him a target and this kid has gone too through much already for him to do that to him.

They hear the first rumors about Tianlang-jun around the time when his shixiong finally starts to bully him about picking a new head disciple, so Shen Yuan makes a timeline in his head: if Tianlang-jun is really doing the part of sightseeing young master in the human world (which Shen Yuan has personally confirmed) then it should take him a few decades to grow bored of it all, sour on the experience and then go and do the attempted world-conquering he gets mountained for. So he should have at least fifty more years before he has to worry about that nonsense, right?

There's still no sign of young master Shen on his peak (goddamn master Airplane, was Shen Qingqiu really so young during PIDW?! A cultivator under a hundred should not be given a position of authority like that, they are barely an adult! The other future peak lords keep popping up around the sect already, so no wonder he was so paranoid of his position, being decades younger than everyone!!) so he promotes his no-longer-openly-feral Shen Jiu as head disciple in the meantime, because that kid is an overachiever like no other and by far the most competent of his disciples.

Then, in the blink of an eye, he is prompted to give Shen Jiu a courtesy name as his succeeding disciple (how did this happen?! This much-abused feral cat is not the one who should be here, System!!).

And the System finally gives him an order he can't refuse: Shen Jiu is to be named Shen Qingqiu. It all starts to break apart at that moment, his leisure and detachment coming back to bite him where it hurts the most.

Shen Yuan announces the name and watches as his head disciple's eyes flash with hurt and betrayal before his mask slots back in place (he never bothered to investigate deeper into Shen Jiu's past than what the boy shared willingly, but now he goes digging. He traces Wu Yanzi's tracks, interviewing ghosts along the way until he reaches the ruins of the Qiu residence and learns of the horrors that went down there. Please forgive your master, A-Jiu! He did not mean to saddle you with the name of your abusers!).

He tries, in those last few, desperate years to be better for the future scum villain, but it feels like it's too late already (the immortal master came back to earth from his unreachable cloud, but it's too little too late). Shen Qingqiu doesn't trust him, he doesn't trust anyone except himself (Shen Yuan is the greatest expert of beasts in the world and he can see the marks of a cornered, crippled tiger in every move Shen Qingqiu makes. His head disciple is angry and terrified and it's his fault that he never helped to make it better.) his relationship with his martial siblings is horrible and he has learned all the wrong lessons from his time on the mountain (because Shen Yuan, spoiled and absent, failed to teach him better).

Shen Yuan watches helplessly as things spiral out of his control (he knows Tianlang-jun couldn't possibly have wanted to conquer anything yet, but his System shuts him up when he wants to speak. He's the one who creates the array, he's the one who puts the final nail in the coffin of a man and his beloved, all for the crime of loving the wrong person). His shixiong gets severely wounded in the fight and they arrange a very hasty ascension before he could perish from his injuries.

He hopes that ascension would make things easier to bear. He has waited for so long, planned to lean back and enjoy PIDW from a front row seat after a life spent playing his part to perfection.

It's so much worse than he could have ever imagined. The System plays one last joke on him and appoints him god of secrets, so he gets to see everything that goes on in the sect. He's already familiar with Luo Binghe's PoV from PIDW, but now he gets to see Yue Qingyuan (clutching his sword and drinking down potions to dull the pain of his ruined body with every meal, screaming himself hoarse for Shen Jiu every night in his nightmares) and Shang Qinghua (walking the high wire of terror and overwork, System window hovering over him with threats of death if he so much as twitches wrong) and Shen Qingqiu, always Shen Qingqiu who keeps spiraling into bitter cruelty with every mocking word he pretends to ignore, every impassable bottleneck and almost-fatal qi-deviation.

When Shen Qingqiu almost succumbs to one of his deviations that leaves him unconscious with a high fever for days he finally breaks and begs the System to let him do something. Shen Qingqiu has grown up to be exactly the kind of scum he was in the story, but for all that he wants to smack him every time he does something shitty, Shen Yuan has grown to care for his horrible, almost-feral tiger of a disciple. He doesn't want him to live the fate of the scum villain, but as a god he's not allowed to act. He will do anything, System! Anything!!!

The next thing he knows, he wakes up as Shen Qingqiu. It's his chance to change fate for the better, but if Shen Yuan is in the body, then where is Shen Jiu??? His soul is in storage and the System will magnanimously allow him to buy him back to life and give him a second chance for all the B-points he amassed over his long life. It's a choice between getting Shen Jiu back or keeping the points as an emergency save that would allow him to return to his previous role if things go wrong.

It's hardly a difficult choice, isn't it?

#svsss #shen yuan #shen jiu #shen qingqiu #tc writes

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

The Arcana HCs: M6 with an MC who's been bottling up their affectionate tendencies

Another very late sequel, for this post:

M6 with a touch/affection-starved MC

- to set the scene -

You learned very early on to suppress your affectionate impulses. As much as you love to spoil your loved ones with hugs and cuddles and homemade food and random gifts and helping them with tasks and clearing your schedule for them and complimenting them at every turn and maybe writing them a loving note or two in their lunch - you know better. You don't care to scare off new friends with that kind of intensity, and the few you've shown that side to who said they were okay with it usually ended up using you.

Nobody you know now would call you unfriendly, but you never initiate touch or ask for too much, and you certainly don't bombard them with gifts or compliments or acts of service or undividided attention.

But now, you're in a secure relationship with someone who adores you, who put their life on the line with you, who opened up their heart to you, who wants to build a future with you. You want to smother them with affection, and for the first time, you don't have to hold back.

You are about to rock their world.

Julian

One of the most affection desperate people you'll ever know. He's plenty familiar with driving people off by being or demanding too much

You've been the first person to accept all he offers you and hold onto him in return

Sure you're a little aloof sometimes, but he's happy just to be allowed to love you without the fear of pushing you away

And then a week or so after defeating the Devil, it was like a switch in your brain flipped and you sent him straight to heaven

Having you regularly remind him to eat, with food you made with your own hands?

Hearing your little affirming compliments multiple times a day??

Waking up to freshly cleaned clothes and a soft eyepatch that doesn't hurt his scalp???

When he made it to work one day to find a little love note tucked into his medical kit he nearly swooned on the spot

He doesn't know where all this has been hiding but he's not complaining. He will accept it all with outstretched arms

Asra

They left for trips so often that you learned not to get too attached so as not to cause unnecessary pain

Here's the obvious: so did he. He traded half his heart and only left to avoid hurting you

Every new liberty you take in loving them will be their cue to stop holding back as well

It's going to be insufferably fluffy for everyone around you until you get it out of your systems and learn to act normal again

If you wake him up with breakfast he'll surprise you on your break with lunch

If you hug them just because they were standing there, they are kissing you all over

Compliment wars that only get cheesier and more suggestive until you're both flustered

Close the shop for a few days so you can travel with him and he'll be your devoted shop assistant for the next week

Bring them something you saw in the marketplace and they'll appear a few days later with a bagful of trinkets

So, so, so many "I love you"s, because now you can both finally say it

Nadia

She is not used to receiving affection. At all

She always interpreted her family's gestures as insults, there was no love in her marriage, and she hasn't been with anyone since

You, though, she loves to spoil you

And now - apparently - you love to spoil her

You drive her to distraction. Tell her she's the best on her way out the door and it'll power her through a whole morning of meetings

If you have a visiting Prakran teach you how to make spiced swordfish the right way she might actually cry

You pop into a meeting to drop off a love note before you go into town and kiss her cheek on the way out? She'll smile all day

Clear your evening for her and give her your undivided attention while she tells you about her ideas and plans? She's swooning

She's never been a hoarder but for you she is. She has shelves in her tower now where she stores all of your notes and gifts

Every time you show her your affection she lights up with surprise and delight. She can do anything with your love supporting her

Muriel

You have to start slowly. For his sake

He's not used to a gentle world. Or gentle people. Or affection in general

He did not know the concept of emotional safety until you held him in your arms, and it both melted and terrified him

Loves it when you bring or make him food. Growing up without it makes it infinitely precious to him, especially from you

If he comes home to a clean space (floor, dishes, laundry, etc) he'll be silent and still for the next few minutes, just taking it in

Write him a list of all the things you like about him and watch his ears burn. He will make a waterproof pouch for said list and carry it everywhere

Show interest in the things he cares about and he'll melt. Help with the chickens. Play with Inanna. He can't look away

One loving glance from you and his heart will sprout wings and fly out of his chest

Seeing the way you love so freely is reminding him how to love in return - you, the world, other people, and even himself

Portia

She loves so freely, she's a little shocked when it starts to show how much you've been holding back

Her no-holds-barred approach to affection is all you need to lose your inhibitions

She makes breakfast. You pack lunch

You kiss her on your way out. She surprise tackles you with a hug when you return

You get Mazelinka to teach you some classic Nevivon foods. She smuggles you the Palace's finest dishes

You make her a magic charm. She takes you on a wild adventure to make use of it

You write her a love letter. She sends you her favorite poetry excerpts

Clear your afternoon to spend time with her and she'll take you on a spontaneous date

She's got a strong competitive streak too, so anything you do for her will be heaped back on you tenfold. If she doesn't have the skillset required she'll stuff you with pastries

Every day she writes down all the ways you showed her love. It's her favorite book, and it keeps her going no matter the obstacles

Lucio

He's had it all already. Worship, adoration, flowery praise, luxurious gifts stacked to the ceiling, the best cuisine ...

But he's never had it from you. And he's never received affection from someone who meant it and didn't try to hide it

You don't compose symphonies for him. But you'll sing to him if he's scared

You don't give him the finest furs and silks. But you bring him trinkets that remind you of him in the most delightfully specific ways

You're not an internationally acclaimed chef. But you cook breakfast for him when he wants to sleep in

You don't wait on him hand and foot, but you polish his sword and cuirass

You don't heap praises on him like he's a god. But you know him, you see the good in him, and when you tell him you love him, he can trust you to mean it

You don't flinch when he looks at you or reaches for you. You meet his gaze with the patience that made him a better man and hold him every night. Oh, he adores you

#the arcana #the arcana brainrot #arcana brainrot #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana #the arcana game #the arcana fluff #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #muriel of the kokhuri #portia devorak #lucio morgasson

[xxxbabyinatrenchcoatxxx]

I love Andrew Minyard as a criminal justice major. Just imagine the possibilities that could happen!! He'd 100% write a paper about nature vs nurture that is about himself and Neil (only if you read between the lines can you tell that tho)

Oh man!! An idea is coming into my head as I think about this!!

Okay, okay, so imagine the following.

Andrew is in his The Serial Killer's Psyche class when he learns about the more recent recent killers, including The Baltimore Butcher.

He lowkey becomes fascinated with the whole thing.

(It's the knives)

And goes down a rabbit hole looking into anything and everything regarding the Wesninski family.

He learns that Nathan was married and had a son, Nathaniel, with a member of another known mafia family from across the Atlantic, Mary.

The son would be the perfect killing machine for these two.

But then he learns that Mary and Nathaniel died tragically in an unknown form.

"The family wants to keep their privacy in these hard times." The press says.

Despite Andrew researching for days (he even went to the library once!) He can't find any record of how they died, but their death certificates have the same time stamp on them so at least he knows they died at the same time.

After finding out as much as he can about the family, he is (and he would never admit this to anyone at all ever) solely on the side of the cops in believing that Nathan Wesninski is The Baltimore Butcher despite there not being enough evidence, etc etc.

Having learned all he could, he all but forgets about the Wesninski family.

Fast forward to the next semester when Kevin tells him they are going to Arizona because he found them a new striker.

As Neil is trying to catch his breath from Andrew hitting him, Andrew is suddenly excepiencing a new phenomenon to him "familiarity"

For some reason, this flight risk reminds him of someone, but he can't quite remember who.

This is new.

Not remembering something.

Is his memory failing him for the first time ever?

He blames it on his meds and moves on

Everytime he sees Neil after he moves to Palmetto, he has the same feeling.

Ever. Single. Time.

It is increasingly aggravating and intirely too intresting.

After weeks spent trying to remember who Neil reminded him of, filing through every person he's ever encountered, and Neil's skitish behavior, he decided that Neil must be a threat.

Why else would his instincts tell him not to trust Neil?

Why didn't he react to the Moriyamas coming south that fall?

Why couldn't he fucking remember where he knew Neil from???

His shell cracked a little bit and he decided on impulse that Neil was going to Eden's with them

Andrew was practically vibrating with rage by the end of that night.

"Who are you?" Andrew asked.

"Wha- I don't understand? I'm Neil?"

"No. I know you, but I've never seen you before." Andrew watched as Neil tensed, wondering what was running through the runners head.

"We don't know each other." Neil made as if to walk away, but he didn't make it far before he had to grab the wall to stabilize himself.

"I know you." Andrew said, grabbing his shoulder.

"No, you don't." Neil shoved him.

"Do you work for the Moriyamas?"

"You think I'm a mole?" Neil scoffed, but it was more slurred with the drugs in his system.

"You're something. And I know how to properly dispose of a body." Andrew said lowly, threatingly, putting both hands on either side of Neil, caging him him.

"So do I." Neil's voice was steady, and he shoved Andrew back as far as he could before taking off.

Neil feeds Andrew half-truths the next day at Wymacks, saying that he must have seen him on the street somewhere. He honestly had no idea why Andrew recognized him.

Andrew doesn't believe that, but he believes Neil's half-truths about his family and lets him go.

Eventually, the familiar feeling is exchanged with actual recognition, and the books continue on as normal

UNTIL

Andrew gets out of Easthaven and sees Neil with his blue eyes and Aubrun hair and brused face, and Andrew freezes for only a moment.

But for that moment, it's like a Christmas tree lighting up in Andrew's head.

Neurons firing and connecting dots he didn't know went to together.

Nathaniel Wesninski stood next to his family

Nathaniel Wesninski protected his family while he was in rehab

Nathaniel Wesninski has been alone with Kevin every night for the past 4 months

Nathaniel Wesninksi was a runaway

Nathaniel Wesninski was alive

Nathaniel Wesninski

Andrew doesn't know what to do with this information yet, so he does nothing

He goes about his decided itinerary for the day

He still doesn't know what to do until "I never understood why he liked knives."

Everyone else was thinking Riko, but Andrew was thinking Nathan.

He decides then and there that he's not going to say anything until Neil tells him.

Neil's "I'm Nathaniel" hits Andrew like a gut punch.

He already knew it but now it's confirmed.

When Neil goes missing, Andrew was the first to tell coach about Nathan's release from prison.

He persuades Coach (read: stares down repeating "Baltimore") to take them to Baltimore because that's where Neil is.

Books go on as normal

Life seemingly goes back to normal after summer break.

They start the new semester with significantly fewer worries, and Neil is figuring out his newfound freedom.

Andrew is in his Advanced Psychology class when Nathan Wesninski is brought up again.

The professor - fortunately for her sake - doesn't mention Neil or Nathaniel at all but assigned them an imaginative assignment

They are to pick a serial killer and study what is known about their at home life and write a paper about what it might be like to grow up in that kind of enviroment

Andrew was going to ignore this assignment, but Neil found out and thought the whole thing was hilarious.

Neil finds out that Andrew was entirely too fascinated by the Wesninski family.

"You liked me before you even met me."

Eventually, they decided that Andrew didn't have to write the paper.

"Mr. Minyard. It is your turn to present."

Andrew and Neil walk to the front.

"This was a single person assignment, Mr. Minyard."

"I think a first-hand account is better than anything I could have come up with. Don't you think?"

"First hand?"

"Hello Andrew's classmates. I'm Nathaniel Wesninski, but please call me Neil. Fair warning. If you ever call me Nathaniel, I will kill you."

They spend the rest of the class basically ragging on Nathan the entire time

#aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #the foxes #aftg neil #the foxhole court #andriel #the raven king #the kings men #aftg au #criminal justice major Andrew Minyard

[angellayercake]

Cardinal Terzo Interlude

Papa Emeritus III x Reader | NSFW

I'm very sorry writing has been a bit of a struggle recently I hope to have some more cream pie diaries and more banchetto out soon. But for now all I have is this that I wrote for @ghostchems as an extra treat for her diary entry and because she is one of my favourite people! Hope you enjoy 💜

You feel boneless as he carries you into his room. This whole evening had been so unexpectedly special, and you were so grateful for your relationship with this ridiculous man. He was looking at you with that infuriating satisfied smirk that you loved so much, the evidence of your pleasure still visible in his smudged lipstick but messy as it was, it made him even more handsome. He places you on the bed gently, your loose limbs spreading comfortably in the soft sheets but he doesn’t join you straight away, just looks down at you as he reaches to smooth a lock of hair from your face and you take this moment of quiet to reminisce. 

When he had first taken up the position of Cardinal here you had not known what to make of him. He was good looking and charming, that was undeniable but he had also seemed lazy and frivolous. It wasn’t until you found him in the administration office late one night after everyone else had left, his frustration thick in the air as he struggled to get to grips with the paperwork he needed to complete that you saw another side to him. He had asked for your help and seeing the genuine desire to learn in his face you had agreed. Running a Satanic Abbey was a lot more involved then one might think, you knew this all too well and as Cardinal he was supposed to oversee all the day to day admin as well as lead the congregation in acts of sin in the name of Satan. Admittedly the admin was a lot less fun but that is how you found yourself spending a couple of nights a week alone with the new Cardinal. 

He picked it up quickly once you had shown him where to look and how to use the systems in place but still the two of you kept meeting. Instead of just teaching you ended up talking as you worked and you found him fascinating. He would regale you with stories from his travels across the world, of his childhood home in southern Italy, of his troublemaking in Rome as a young man and of the Ministry locations he had visited all over the world. You discovered your mutual love of film and often spent hours debating the nuances of your favourites. Over time he began to suggest you indulge yourselves in your now informal meetings, forgoing meetings at the office and instead meeting out in the gardens or the dining room and eventually in his personal quarters.     

You are brought straight back to the present as he starts to unbutton his shirt revealing his gorgeous hairy chest to you inch by perfect inch. Once he has pulled it loose he unrolls his sleeves one at a time so he can slide it off completely before his hands drop to his belt. You think he is trying to be subtle as he grazes a hand over the prominent bulge but the hitch in his breath would give him away even if his actions didn’t. He undoes his belt but doesn’t even bother pulling it loose just moves on to the fastening of his trousers and the fly. As is typical for him he had not bothered with underwear today so as he pulls his trousers off you get to enjoy the sight of his perfect cock and toned legs. He kneels at the end of the bed, crawling up towards you and settling between your legs. 

Sitting you up he pulls your dress up and over your head and helps you remove your bra quickly, your knickers had been lost long ago, you assume somewhere under the dining table earlier but any thoughts of the location of your pants are pushed from your mind as he eases you back against the pillows and starts to kiss his way down your body. You love it when he is like this, so thorough with his attentions, lavishing every part of you with kisses, licks and the occasional nip of his teeth. You feel the trail of his worship down your neck across your shoulder and down your arm, pressing his lips to all the places you are most sensitive and even finding others you never knew about. He takes your hand in his and even here, where he is already naked between your legs, when he presses a kiss to the back of your hand holding you in his intense gaze you feel your heart flutter and your cheeks flush. For a moment you are just suspended in your affection for each other but it breaks as quickly as it started and he is kissing back up your arm and turning his attention to your breasts. He trails his tongue along the underside first mapping out the curve before kissing his way to your nipple. His touches are barely there, gentle flicks of his tongue and the ghost of his lips as he teases it to hardness, even as you arch up into the feeling he keeps his distance only giving you just enough to drive you crazy wanting more before moving on to the other.   

He has already made you orgasm once this evening but all the tension is creeping back into your body as he continues his teasing. You weave your fingers through his already mussed hair, knowing deep down that if he is insistent on continuing to tease no amount of guidance from you will change that but appreciating the anchor it provides all the same. He has sunk further now kissing and nuzzling at your soft stomach as his hands trail the curve of your waist and hips. You are a confident woman but you never feel as attractive as when he worships you like this, when he moans into your skin just from the feel of you. His hands settle on your hips as his hot mouth continues its journey, raking his teeth over your hip bone. You suck in a gasp as his path takes him across your mound torn between wanting to feel the bliss of his mouth again this evening or if you are ready for more. 

He eases your legs open and you think he has made the decision for you but he ignores your pussy completely sliding his lips straight to your sensitive inner thighs before continuing. By the time he reaches your ankles he is sitting up between your legs which are now resting against his torso. You can feel the tip of his cock straining against the back of your thighs and you have never wanted him more than you do right now. He leans towards you encouraging you to wrap your legs around his waist as he kisses you, swallowing your gasp as he finally sinks into you. You're so wet for him there is almost no resistance but as he pushes in to the hilt with such little warning you feel every single inch. 

You never tire of how he fucks you, the roll if his hips so smooth and seamless there isn’t a moment where a part of you isn’t stimulated. The circular thrusts have him grinding against your clit every time he bottoms out inside you and your skin tingles everywhere else you are pressed together. His strong arms wrapped around you and his hairy chest pressed against your sensitive breasts. Your nails dig into his shoulders pulling him impossibly closer as he gradually increases the tempo and you can feel your orgasm building. On a particularly deep thrust you clench around him hard as the head of his cock directly fucks into your sweet spot and his rhythm falters for the first time as he buries his face into your shoulder to smoother his moans. 

And that is the start of your undoing as you see him as affected by your body as you are by his. You both find your rhythm again as you give and take of each other. Tingles are spreading through your whole body, you can feel every thrust through your nervous system, sensitive all the way to the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet. You cling to him as you rock together pushing each other closer and closer to the precipice. The sounds coming from the two of you change, from moans and whimpers to choked off sobs and grunts as your pleasure gets more intense. The end is coming ever closer but part of you wants to pause time so you can feel this all consuming closeness forever but all good things must come to an end, it is inescapable. 

He shifts, pressing your shoulders into the mattress as he pistons his hips into you, immobilising you and bringing you both to the point of no return. The angle is perfect and you can feel a silent scream building in your chest as your pleasure is pulled taught. He is fighting to keep his thrusts even as he picks up the pace, the muscles of his torso tense and twitch and you love seeing him like this. You have enough control left to scratch your fingers down his back as he is overcome by a full body shudder so you can squeeze his toned ass as he continues to fuck into you. You both curse every time he bottoms out inside you and the force almost pushing you up the bed if not for his firm grip on your shoulders and you are finally ready to reach your peak. The rolling waves of pleasure radiate out from your core as you clench around him, pulling his orgasm from him with a loud moan his hips stutter before he pushes as deep into you as he can as you both ride it out. 

Only when he has filled you completely and your aftershocks have subsided does he pull out of you. He doesn’t go far though, pulling you to rest on his warm chest, his racing heart beginning to slow as he twirls a strand of your hair between his fingers. Your whole body still feels numb and you hate the thought of moving again but when he tips your face up towards his you make the effort and it is worth it to look into his soft eyes and receive his soft kisses. 

‘Still the best birthday?’ He asks, as if he doesn’t know. 

‘The very best,’ you whisper against his lips, conserving your energy so you can show him with kisses just how happy you are. 

#the band ghost fic #the band ghost fanfiction #papa emeritus iii x reader #terzo x reader #cardinal terzo #the diary of cardinal terzo #my writing

[gabessquishytum]

I haven't tried to write this because it's not my kink, but findom Dreamling, with Hob as the dom of course. I mean what else is lonely divorced Dream going to do with all his money?

I'm literally rubbing my hands together and wiggling around. This is such a concept!!!!

I think Hob probably fell into the whole thing by accident. He was looking for easy money online, not opposed to the idea of sex work, and found out about the whole idea of financial dom/sub relationships, paypigs, all that jazz. At first the morality of it all seemed skewed, but the more he read and witnessed in forums and chatrooms, the more he got used to it. Even got kind of into it? He started trying to pick up "clients", learned the ropes, and before he knew it? He had a popular profile on a fetish site. He collected a few regulars, took on a few who just wanted to try it out... and then along came Morpheus.

Morpheus was pretty new to the scene, but knew what he wanted. A younger man, someone to humiliate him, someone to dominate him and most of all - someone to use his money on. Hob was pleased to take him on after establishing rules and safewords. Their communication would be mostly online, but Morpheus was not opposed to meeting in person, too.

Flash forward a while, and Hob has never enjoyed a client so much. Morpheus makes him truly enjoy his work. He's so pretty, so frail and pale and delicate. So easy to boss around - not that he doesn't talk back. He can be quite a brat! He'll refuse to answer when Hob asks him if he's pathetic, needy, useless. He'll look away when Hob demands to know why Morpheus thinks he deserves to be so rich and privileged. It can take hours for Hob to break him down until he finally capitulates and wires tens of thousands of pounds into Hob’s account.

He buys the most extravagant gifts. Everything Hob demands, and more. Clothes, gaming systems, watches, cars. He lives for the look of pleasure on Hob’s face as he enjoys his latest gift. Seeing Hob slide a new rolex onto his wrist is enough to make Morpheus cum in his underwear. He's so fucking precious.

Morpheus is obviously concerned that Hob will lose interest in him, but he doesn't need to worry. It's strange, because Hob has never had strong feelings about a client before. But he's kind of obsessed with Morpheus? He loves it when he goes shopping at all the designer stores while Morpheus trails behind him, obviously so turned on that he can hardly function as Hob spends his money. It makes Hob think of the future, some kind of permanent arrangement perhaps.

Morpheus’s family are going to hate him. But Hob sees it like this: he makes Morpheus happy, and he makes Morpheus cum a lot. Where's the harm in that? And all that money is only going to be wasted sitting in the bank. Much better to have gorgeous Morpheus on his knees, whining through his second orgasm as he transfers another 5,000 into Hob’s account....

#karalynlovescake #the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw findom #cw financial dominance #cw humiliation

[the1975attheirverybest]

10 things Matty does as a dad

A/n: the brain rot will not stop so….

Warnings: none

————

Freak out at the hospital when the nurse hands him his newborn baby for the first time. “Oh gosh what if I drop her.” “Oh she’s so small. How can a person be so small.” “hi little one. I’m your daddy it’s so good to meet you.” “I love you already.”

Gets up every single time the baby does. Even though he and the wife have a schedule and it hinges upon one of them being awake and alert when the other isn’t. So it defeats the purpose for him to wake up every time but he insists he’d just feel guilty if he kept sleeping while his wife and child are awake at night.

Takes a year off from work. No producing. No writing for other artists. No 1975 stuff. He might scribble stuff down or try ideas if something comes to him. But he’s not like actively trying to make a record at all. So, he stays with the baby at home all day when the missus gets back to work and gets really into baby nutrition. Reading books on obscure health benefits of rare oils and extracts. Tries to buy a bunch of them online.

Oh the online shopping. When it’s late at night and he’s rocking the baby back to sleep and he’s kinda sleep deprived, he makes questionable decisions. Buys every toy that markets itself as “educational.” Or important to kids cognitive development or whatever. His missus has to institute a rule where they need to donate 2 old toys for each new toy they purchase.

The pediatrician tells him that talking and reading to the baby is important in order to make sure they acquire the strongest vocabulary by age 3. So he starts to read to her regularly. First, it’s children’s books. But then it progresses to whatever he can find around the house. Grocery lists, the blender manual, song lyrics, emails. He even does different voices and sound effects to keep things interesting.

He asks his baby girl for her input on music even before she’s old enough to understand what she’s really saying. “Come here, daddy wants to show you something. What do you think? You like it?”

Let’s her design tour posters/ album cover/ merch graphics

Establishes a regular dad-daughter date. Even when she’s an infant. A whole day of just the two of them. It starts out as just him needing to prove to himself that he could take care of her all day without asking for help from anyone. But he just keeps doing it as time goes by. It becomes a bonding experience. As she grows up, they start to use this time to talk about school, what she’s into, her friends, etc.

Cries when she’s sick. The missus will be like “matty, children get the sniffles sometimes. She’ll be okay. This is fine. Necessary even! For her immune system.” But he’s just like “she’s so miserable and can hardly breathe poor girl.” He’s practically a mess when she gets the chickenpox. All his memories of getting it or watching his brother get it mean nothing to him. He acts as if his kid is the first and last one to ever get sick on parent earth.

He watches YouTube tutorials to learn to do various hair styles just to impress her by offering her options when she asks him to help her do her hair for school in the morning.

[cosmiclion]

If you thought I couldn't outdo myself more with the fluff for this AU then you haven't seen my true power yet 😈

I don't know if I got OCiel's bangs right but, realistically speaking, human hair never stays in the same place, that's how physics works so whatever lmao.

Anyway, trying to write a Black Butler AU with some fluff where Sebastian and Ciel have a parent-child like relationship WHILE keeping them in-character (Sebas more than Ciel tbh) and still basing it on canon material but making changes and making said changes make sense requires a bit of work ngl.

I mean, I know it's just a project I'm doing for fun and technically there's nothing stopping me from going nuts and making them completely OOC and disregarding canon at all, but I feel then it'd become a separate story with new, original characters who simply happen to be inspired by Kuro (which is also okay, and who knows, maybe in the future I'll repurpose the whole thing to create my own Kuro-inspired original story, even if I don't think I'll ever fully lose interest in Kuro, this cursed series has me in a chokehold lmao). Full ramble under the cut.

Sebastian is the hardest one to write, though I think I'm finally more or less figuring it out. I didn’t want to write him as suddenly learning to love the way humans do thanks to the power of cute children or something, as it just didn't feel natural (or I couldn't personally make it feel natural, I know other people have managed to write that concept very well). What I have so far is that when he does act nurturing he’s simply imitating the behavior of human parents he has observed, but he doesn’t love the kid the same way humans do because he literally doesn’t have that ability. BUT that doesn’t mean he feels nothing at all and that it doesn’t mean anything to Ciel, after all this weird creature is the one who saved his life and raised him with care and patience. The closest comparison I can think of is the relationship between people and “unusual” pets like reptiles, amphibians, insects, etc. We know they can’t love us the way other people (or even other mammals) would but that doesn’t make our bond any less significant! Some bits of canon material also come in handy here, for example I based the fact that familiar Sebas finds Ciel adorable as a kitten on the canon fact that he likes squishing his cheeks because they remind him of a cat's paws 😂 Just know he's an awkward demon who doesn't know how to human but is doing his best 🥺

I think in Ciel’s case I have more freedom since he is, after all, human, and a human’s personality is strongly shaped by their environment and life experiences. Like, what exactly counts as making a character OOC? Sure, I can agree that in a fanwork set in the exact same universe with the exact same events as in canon there’s some things a character would never say or do, but I think AUs were created as a way to explore what-if scenarios. What if this character had been raised by different people? What if they had grown up in a different place? What if this or that event hadn’t happened or had gone differently? Tbh I think it’s just fun to explore endless possibilities, it’s maybe a form of character analysis in some way. And if we think about it, canonverse Ciel was originally sweet, shy and affectionate, and if he’s the complete opposite now it’s only because he went through an utterly horrific and traumatic event that forced him to grow up before his time and toughen himself up because it left him with little to no support system, on top of having to be hyper vigilant because the only thing that "saved" him from that is a literal demon who wants his soul and is haunting him.

So I just wanted to create this alternative timeline where maybe things aren’t as terrible, or they start out as terrible but then some good things come from the most unexpected sources. Ciel is five years younger and thus has more time to process everything and try to heal as he grows up. Sebas isn’t entirely a bastard and willingly does nice things for the child, even if he still doesn’t understand human needs, and while he stills views him as a potential meal (at least at the beginning) he's actually respectful. There’s another demon who understands humans all too well and is happy to lend a hand. His friends and the relatives he has left are more involved in his life. So Ciel more or less has a support system now, albeit a weird dysfunctional one, and doesn’t entirely lose his sweetness (also like... he's 5/6 at the beginning of the story, we really can't expect a preschooler to be an edgy emo who craves violence and revenge ☠️). I imagine he grows up to be just as calculating and cunning as canonverse Ciel, maybe even just as ruthless in his job because it’s a requirement, and is still pretty much a little shit, but this Ciel is not as cold and undemonstrative. He’s still very much an introvert who prefers to be left alone, but he smiles (as in genuinely smile) more often and it’s a little easier for him to express emotions and feelings (more through actions than words, but still meaningful). Hell he may allow himself to be playful and silly sometimes if he’s in the moment.

And if it wasn’t clear from the picture, little Ciel ADORES Sebastian. Sure he's (understandably) a bit skittish around him at first, but once they bond he comes to fully view him as a parental figure. Yes, he's hurt, sad and traumatized, but he's still a resilient little kid, and with enough kindness Sebas can coax his old self to come out of his shell, and until the kid becomes more independent they're like a mama duck and her lil duckling. Their constant banter and bickering when he's older is more a teens being teens thing than anything.

#eli’s art #artists on tumblr #art #digital art #drawing #sketch #eli rambles #canon divergence #kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji au #kuro familiar au #black butler #black butler au #sebastian michaelis #dadbastian #mombastian #ciel phantomhive #our ciel #ociel #o!ciel #i am going to create an au that is so self indulgent #procreate app #not yoi

[isawthisangel]

domestic/relationship situations with steven/marc headcanons part two

find part one here

masterlist

word count: 900w

a/n: i will happily write a full length fic for any of these if you guys send me one of the prompts, or any different ones<3

Steven loves to cook and is usually home by the late afternoon, but sometimes when he has more work to do when he gets home and you have to work late, you end up ordering takeout. You guys have a hat with all the different takeouts written on pieces of paper inside for when you can’t decide, which is often.

On weekends you love nothing more than holing up in the flat to binge whole seasons of tv shows. Steven is all over this, making the sofa as cosy as possibly, collecting blankets and snacks and content to sit for hours with your feet in his lap or your head on his shoulder, his arm around you. Marc usually lasts about two episodes before complaining that he’s bored.

You suggest reorganising the bookshelves. This takes weeks. Steven is so meticulous about where his books go, even though it looks like a mess to anyone else, he can find the book he’s looking for in seconds when he needs to. You have your bookshelf, but your books have started spilling over, which is fine as long as they’re in the right section.

Honestly I could write an essay about this. Steven sat cross legged on the floor surrounded by books, stacking them into piles and trying to work out how best to organise them, brow furrowed. You giving up trying to help after a while, realising he has his own, very complicated system. Rearranging the plants and fairy lights around everything when it’s finally done. Smiling whenever he looks at it for the next few days.

Both of the boys like to rant when they’re worked up about something, but the topics on which they tend to get so upset about vary drastically. If Steven is upset about a new display at the museum, or Donna getting his name wrong yet again, Marc will be angry about something going wrong on a mission, stomping and swearing around the flat injured and covered in blood.

Similarly, you have to learn that they can’t be calmed down in the same way. Steven can usually be placated pretty easily by a cup of tea or a shoulder massage, whereas with Marc you have to let him burn out by himself. When he finally collapses into a chair and goes silent, then you can move in and start patching him up best you can, dropping kisses onto his skin at regular intervals until he’s fully relaxed.

Baths. Steven doesn’t usually have a bath, and if he does you’re in there with him. Marc, on the other hand, would live in the bath if you let him. He’ll soak until the water’s cold and all the bubbles are gone, half asleep with a contented half smile on his face. He’d never admit it, but he loves coming home to a bubble bath.

Sometimes when you wake up you find Marc asleep on the sofa, not wanting to have woken you up when he got in from a mission the night before. Despite your protests he continues to do this if he knows you have to be up early the next morning, even though you’d rather be tired and know that he’s come home safe that night.

Similarly to the laundry, you can tell who’s been shopping while you’ve been at work by the contents of the cupboards and fridge and how they’ve been organised. Steven will have a meal plan on the wall and all of the (mostly fresh) ingredients neatly stowed away. Marc will have filled the freezer up, and maybe bought some fruit and veg, if you’re lucky.

Steven one hundred percent gets distracted and dances with you in the kitchen when you cook together. Enough said.

Sometimes you’ll catch Steven before he rushes out the door, ever late, for work to fix his tie or his hair. This isn’t necessarily because it looks bad, you’re just after one more kiss before he leaves. If he’s caught on, he doesn’t say. If you’re fixing Marc’s hair or clothes before he rushes out the door it’s most likely because he’d lost track of time with you in bed that morning. You’ve been late countless times for similar reasons.

‘Laughter is infectious,’ sure, but Steven’s laugh is actually infectious. If he’s laughing, you’re laughing, it doesn’t matter what he’s laughing at or where you are. Similarly, Marc laughs so little that when he does you find yourself smiling regardless, relishing in the sound, trying to memorise it.

Steven is annoyingly good at presents, and you struggle to match the thoughtfulness of his gifts. Marc has a strict no present policy, which you happily disregard during every holiday, knowing that he’ll complain and then smile secretly afterwards, when he thinks you can’t see.

You try to eat breakfast and brush your teeth with whoever it is you wake up to every morning, schedules allowing. It puts you in a good mood in the mornings, and prepares you for the rest of the day. If you get frustrated at work you think about breakfast, or how you get to go home to such a loving environment that night. It usually makes you feel better.

tag list💌 @propertyofkingvalkyriealkyrie @later-gators12

comment to be added ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

#moonknight #moonknight fanfic #moonknight fanfiction #moon knight x reader #moonknight imagine #steven grant #steven grant fanfic #steven grant x reader insert #steven grant fanfiction #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #marc spector imagine #marc spector #marc spector fanfic #fluff #steven grant fluff #marc spector fluff #moonknight fluff #headcanons

[lastweeksshirttonight]

I've listened to this almost four times at this point, so I better write some thoughts on it. (Did you need them? Probably not but humor me.)

This whole podcast talks deeply about the emotional toll of COVID and the pandemic, so be advised.

Interview starts at 16:10.

To start, I think a thread that runs through this entire episode is Marc being more cynical or bitter than John about a point, and John pausing to realign himself with what his actual level of cynicism is. You can tell that Marc and John like each other a lot, but there is also a tension to some of their discussions that I find really interesting. Like a mental chess match where Marc has a clear POV and John is trying to subtly spin the response to be closer to his own ideals.

The interview opens with the two of them talking about microphone levels and people not being closer to the mic and how irritating it is when people don't know how to use microphones. I am weak to John talking

I haven't watched Rachel Maddow in a while, is she really doing radio shows about Spiro Agnew? What? Why?

John speaking about context and contextualizing our current dark reality. The way he viewed the pandemic and the extent of society's flaws, and how nothing was fixed was really interesting. For as much as he's said that he's allergic to sincerity, that's just plainly untrue. He really does want to believe in the best of everything around him - he later talks about how he loves his children so much it's painful, and I had the same thought. Marc's darkness is something else though, I would laugh helplessly too at being reminded that 30% of the country wants to kill me specifically (help)

"It will eat your messages and shit them back into your face." I truly enjoy when John goes this blue, it always surprises and delights me.

John wants everything to have a system. He really likes the John Wick coin-based hotel system. I don't quite know how the two of them got from the comfort conspiracy theories can provide in dark times to John Wick but hey.

Marc being mad about having no awards and John being like "you really didn't need to say your bitterness out loud bro" killed me.

John has no idea why LWT was moved into another category. He doesn't even know who he's competing against. The Emmys basically afford him the right to be left alone with his show. I think he values that more than anything in regards to LWT - this topic comes up multiple times in this podcast and John stresses that having no sponsors to be beholden to, no commercials, and seemingly little to no oversight makes them able to do things that just can't be done on commercial television. There are more details to mine about this later, but it seems like, for all the absolute chaos of HBO and Warner and Discovery (something John likens to continually having new fathers around and wondering if he even has to bother learning their names), he's still relatively free to plug away at LWT the way he and his team envision it. Which is a relief to hear, honestly, the delayed announcement of LWT being renewed really made me concerned that Discovery in particular was done dealing with him.

I like how John, when given questions, will often ask clarifying follow-ups in this. He's not one for vagueness as it seems - the one that particularly stuck out to me was Marc relaying how he struggles with pulling his thoughts together on current events, using the Gaza crisis as an example for him before asking how John settles on topics. John's response is to ask if Marc means in general, or om Gaza specifically. The conversation moves into the general and how LWT is made now that it's ten years in (John calls the research department a machine and I can tell Marc is hoping that John literally invented a research machine from his tone of voice), but those are two very different conversations that could be pulled from that one question.

I also love John and Marc taking the piss out of John's show. Truly, if John leaves his desk, you obviously just sat through 30 minutes of the worst human misery possible.

-

Marc: "Because of your innate Britishness and your sense of humor, that... you do irritate -"

John, sounding like something just activated in his brain and as darkly as I've ever heard him: "I love to."

Marc: " - the right - ???"

-

My new favorite running theme in John's interviews is his apparently very tense relationship with his lawyers. The nitty gritty of the legal needs of the show, and how John views his lawyers and the frustrations that come with trying to do hard-hitting topics while having lawyers drop out from conflicts of interest, always fascinates me.

John also delves into the security he requires because of the breadth of people he's pissed off. He doesn't seem to care at all and enjoys pissing these people off, despite his wife's concerns. (I'm so sorry Kate you married a deeply weird man) John derives such pleasure from irritating people that it outweighs, say, never being able to go to Thailand without being arrested.

I cannot believe the Sacklers tried to come to the LWT office. Jesus Christ the entitled gall of these people.

Marc offends John with his assessment of England having many destroyed buildings, which leads into him saying, in a way reminiscent of the long-lost American from the Bugle, that he "enjoys the castles". God I miss the American. "How old's this wall? Holy fuck!"

-

Marc: "What are we gonna do about the futility..."

John: -cracks the fuck up-

Marc, finding his point: "...of..."

John: "Let it hang. Feel free to let that hang in the air. Let's just all enjoy the fact that we're all filling it in and coming up with different, equally valid, depressing ends to that sentence."

-

John is so severely offended and killed by Marc's suggestion that he did a Q&A tour. The absolute lowest form of entertainment in both of their minds. John mentions that he emphatically told people they could leave before the Q&A they hosted at the John and Seth stand up show I was at because he feels so strongly about this. I wrongly assumed this was because John hates himself and can't imagine people sticking around for him, but in my defense, that's usually the reason he tells people not to do something/shits on his bangs/etc.

(We still have like 30 min of this podcast, why am I like this)

The question of "what's gonna happen" is a pretty dark one, as John notes. He fears the worst but hopes people will work hard to stop the path we're on. Marc wanting to illustrate where we are is pretty ridiculous, as John points out - just look around.

I think Marc talking about what "all right" means to people gets to something that deeply concerns me about what the future of this country will be for me. I don't want to be that cynical but there is a deep well of selfishness in the US (rightfully identified) that does keep the country from uniting and fighting for survival in times like this. We're definitely at that turning point and I really want to hope we don't drive off the cliff.

I am not really emotionally prepared for jokes about John being in prison, I was genuinely a bit concerned about that The Last Time. That's my own problem though.

I didn't expect to get more information about John leaving The Daily Show on this podcast, but that's one of the most interesting things discussed. Marc asks if John left TDS because he felt the freedom he has with HBO wasn't there, and John says that wasn't the case - his contract expired at the end of 2013, after his summer hosting gig. Ideally, and Jon and John had discussed this (!!), the goal was to have John do TDS in the summers so John could, you know, rest. Sleep. Not be beholden to the horrors all the time. But Comedy Central, in John's blunt words, "didn't really care", so he went to HBO. The way that John mentions that "they would have probably kept [Jon] longer" if they'd actually tried to keep John around sounds just a tinge bitter and honestly, yeah. I'm annoyed hearing that we could have had this magical 2-host version of TDS and CC just... sucks. God I hate them. They gave me most of my worldview as a teenager because of TDS, but fucking A man.

Also interesting to hear, however vaguely, that John had some other offers. Wonder what those were. My best guess, based on what else was going on at that time, is TBS (who later made Full Frontal with Samantha Bee and were building around Conan) might have made a play.

I'm not a parent, but I do appreciate the discussion of parenthood, particularly how anxiety-inducing it can be. Hearing John talk about his worries regarding his prematurely-born son definitely resonated, and I'm glad his son is doing well now. ❤️

The brick joke in the middle of the parenting discussion is the hardest I've ever laughed at Marc Maron. Truly. Masterful brick joke.

I don't have an elegant tag for this - there's much more than what I touched on here in the podcast, and I appreciate how deep the conversation gets. It was really nice to listen to this multiple times during my hell day, and to hear John talk deeper about things that he's rarely asked about.

Also I'm sorry I wrote like fucking too many k words on this, I clearly had thoughts

#john oliver #marc maron #wtf with marc maron #last week tonight with john oliver #last week tonight #the daily show with jon stewart #the daily show #lee's tl;dr

[santacoppelia]

Heaven and Hell strike! (a "crack" meta?)

I was reviewing my notes to write some things I like about Shax (they are organized by themes) but I came across this idea first and it tickled my brain (probably because I just watched Neil's speech at the WGA Strike picket line). (BTW, great message, go watch it!!)

We know some interesting things about the awful work circumstances at Hell. We can "ignore" them (it is Hell, after all), but what if we check out what is happening with Hell's workforce?

The place is dreadful. We know, it is Hell, that's how it is supposed to be.

There is a whole lot of bureaucracy. I would say that it is specifically because bureaucracy IS Hell, but this is also me being me.

Everyone is overworked. Again, maybe it is just the thing with Hell, but...

They are understaffed. Furfur let's us know that as soon as Shax asks him for a legion. This would be obvious for Admissions during WW II, but when the bookshop siege happens, they barely manage to get 70 demons. Why?????

Beelzebub talks a lot about Hell not "appreciating talents". They say it when they talk about Crowley, then again while they lament with the other demon, and that's one of the things that connects them to Gabriel.

This was also one of the points made by Furfur when he talked about trying to "climb the ladder". He lashed to Crowley about this (as if getting a better job was Crowley's fault), but... (put a pin on this)

Shax possible new Dukedom and Beelzebub offering Crowley the possibility of becoming a "new Duke of Hell" talks to me about some sort of power vacuum (it goes without mention that promotions are given at personal discretion, not through real merit).

However, Heaven doesn't seem like they are in great shape, also...

They are trying to hide their "institutional problems" (at least, two defectors, but we should also count the renegade-now-Supreme-Archangel as part of the problem)

The corporate climate in the higher levels of Heaven is HIDEOUS. They are mostly petty, envious, create rumors and love power struggles...

Michael (my personal hate character) is at the same time so power hungry and so clueless about anything, that they are incapable of taking action (thanks, someone)

After not even knowing if Gabriel really had a desk, Michael gets a desk, while being "Duty Officer" and making everyone roll their eyes with their orders. They got that desk out of pure pettiness!

We know that "lesser angels" are mostly ignored. If you are an angel like Muriel, nobody ever acknowledges your existence. We have already seen how happy they are just by participating!! (they don't even notice being called "dim", poor baby)

Gabriel bonds with Beelz around not being recognized for what they do, and Beelz win their (cold, little) heart WITH A FLY because nobody has given him anything before… Not even a little pat in the head?

We have already seen TWO cases where an angel and a demon discover, through familiarity and shared worries/complaints, that they have so much in common that they are better together. We are crackshipping a third one.

The pin about Furfur (which I had forgotten) is that the problem is not Crowley, and the problem are not the people inside the system who learn how to play it: THE PROBLEM IS THE SYSTEM ITSELF.

Now, the point:

Something something about unappreciated people coming together as soon as they learn there’s better to be had. Can you imagine that much fun???!!!??? Bring Pandemonium!!

#good omens 2 #good omens meta #good omens universe #heaven is terrible #bureaucracy is hell #ineffable bureaucracy #it is crack meta but only if you think so #stronger together