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kentomilk · 5 months

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ᴺᴬᴺᴬᴹᴵ ᴷᴱᴺᵀᴼ ᴵᴺ

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐈𝐓'𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

it seems there is never an activity too lackluster or intimate for this couple to find pleasure in each other's company with their busy lives.

husband!nanami kento x wife fem!reader.

catalogue. fluff, slice of life content, non-sorcery au/ non-curse, modern au, salaryman!kento, sick & soft kento, (1) mentions of praise kink. wc: 1.95k thea’s preamble. inspired by this incredible art, i must admit i look at this at least once a day. → ✨ also this is my first published work, it's a bit rough but hopefully with time it gets better. thank u for reading <3

kento is a man of routine and order, we all knew that. he wakes up at a set time, kisses his beautiful sleeping wife, carries out his morning routine of showering and oral hygiene, dons his best suit, light breakfast, and is out the door by 8 AM. the evenings he returns home aren’t any less lax, whether he’s home at 6 PM on the dot or late by a few hours, he’ll always greet and kiss his beautiful wife, have dinner in his study whilst he continues more work while the lovely missus reads on the chaise or continues unfinished work of her own as well, then shower and oral hygiene, sleep.

perhaps that was an oversimplification, but don’t be fooled one may think the man adopts and follows this lifestyle out of a need for security, financial or otherwise. or that he loves the unrelenting and perpetual cycle of working painstakingly 10-hour days, he certainly isn’t given highly-coveted tasks for being a slacker. he’s grateful for what the occupation provides, the salary and bonus that come with his overtime, to lavishly spoil his family, but that's all.

he has no ambition to climb the ladders that will put him in places he doesn't care to be, to rub elbows and kiss ass with scummy executives, leeches, and conceited thugs, only to trash talk and scheme against the moment he steps foot in his home.

all he asks is for saturdays and sundays, as they happen to be Kento’s favourite.

the days he has off from his draining 9-to-5, to be spent properly with his lovely wife. who was ever so patient with him, ever so supportive, and ever so his to love and cherish so as long as his body would allow him. even if his body was battered down to a pulp, he’d find alternatives as necessary, but let’s hope it never comes to that.

there would be times when not much would differ from the previous weekend, and well into the next, spent doing the same activities, or nothing at all. he never wanted to take for granted the time you spent together, and sometimes that meant not always making the most of those days, and he’s okay with that.

whether the two of you lazed in bed until the afternoon or spent a whole day cooking a feast completely from scratch, starters to dessert. visiting the farmers market to cook said feast, reading in your cozy home library, or even the sudden bouts of spring cleaning.

there is always a welcome invite for spontaneity, a picnic under the stupendous aspen tree you simply adored at the local park. a quick overnight trip to a scenic and quaint town, whether your destination is reached by train, plane, automobile, or even boat. the occasional painting date has become a more frequent activity as of late. but there is one “special” activity that some might consider, unique. one that is relatively low cost, that is done from the comforts of your humble abode, that further advances the intimacy (according to kento), and is reserved solely for you, one that kento absolutely adored, shaving.

usually, it was something he’d done alone after showers with either a rechargeable or disposable razor or by his barber when it came time for his bi-monthly hair trim. but recently it became a task that you’d undertake by kento’s request, sort of.

while you didn’t mind what would grow from a days of not shaving, he preferred maintaining a clean shave for the clean-cut classification for a man of his occupation, it also became supplemental to his hygiene routine that he grew to love.

it wasn’t something you saw often, kento so dishevelled with the most tragic undereye bags from the lack of sleep from what you’d think was months suffering from insomnia, condensed into a few days. a coarse stubble emerged from the days he’d spent in bed, and his nose was flushed with how often he’d been blowing it with the nearly empty box of tissues that was full just the night before. his eyes were dull and watering, a sight you truly hated.

"honey, have you seen my hard drive?" he'd sorely asked for the 3rd time today, "it's in the laptop, kento." you called back, changing the towels in your bathroom.

he was delirious, with a runny nose and little to no comprehension of where he was or what day it was, thanks to the combination of flu medicine and kento’s determination to finish a work proposal whilst in bed, common sense would also call it overworking. despite your gentle commands that he needed rest, there was no triumph on your end, as duty calls. he was relentless, in his defense there was a conference that was meant to be held in person had it not been for his sudden ailment. though a live video conference was able to be arranged, owing to the urgency of the matter at hand.

so you figured the fastest way to get the man back into bed was to help him complete this ordeal swiftly, that meant helping him in the shower, given his sore muscle ached. applying small dots of concealer under his eyes as to not bring attention to his fatigued face, deterring from the presentation at hand.

dressing him in his warmest wool suit, but only the upper half, kento was sound enough to know there was no need to abandon his fleecy Pompompurin pajama pants. the executives were only to see from the shoulders up after all. and lastly ridding him of a heavy five o'clock shadow that was speckled with smears of dried rice from the porridge you had made him earlier.

“ok, that should be enough,” you whispered, carefully taking off the damp towel that no longer retained warmth, and squeezing out the shaving cream from the canister into your hand.

you proceed to spread the milky foam in a thin layer across the lower half of his face, letting out a soft chuckle at the finished outcome. you picked up the brand-new razor from the counter, puffing your cheeks and letting out a deep breath.

“i trust you.” kento whispered, his voice scratchy and hushed.

you smiled in response, quietly informing him that you were starting. you crouched to his eye level, pulling his cheek upward with one hand, so the skin where you would shave would be taut. you intently watched his face as well as the area that you had just removed facial hair, making sure that there were no nicks or alter in his relaxed expression, verging on sleep. once you gained confirmation of such, you proceeded to shave the next row, and the next, working inwards towards his lips.

rinsing the razor after each use, and wiping on a towel you had draped on the counter. though nerve-wracking for a first try, it had been executed well and was quite therapeutic. your eyes were attentive and your hands steady with every down stroke. as you continued to rinse and repeat, literally, you looked up into the bathroom mirror to see your husband rotating his head to view the work that had been done, then looking straight at you with a simple grin and tired eyes, asking what he thought so far.

“you’re doing so good, my love.” he plainly states, but those watery eyes said otherwise with an innuendo you couldn’t miss, in a singular eyebrow raise. stupid praise kink, you thought, looking him up and down, wondering how even in this state, where he acquired the audacity. it wasn’t long until the two of you burst into a fit of laughter, kento being cautious as to not rub off the shaving cream with one hand that covered his eyes as he leaned back in the chair.

“what even are you.” you snickered, quickly calming yourself with the reminder of the razor in your hand.

you proceeded to shave, on the brink of completion, now focusing above his lip, where you took even more caution than you had before, due to the sensitivity of his skin in that area. opting to sit on his lap, nearly chest-to-chest with his sore arms that maintained enough strength to have a secure hold on you, even though your knees were bent, and your feet touched the heated floor effortlessly.

a few stolen kisses on kento’s behalf, and nothing more than a restrained smile that he was fighting from getting any bigger as you finished the last few strokes. in his mind, it was anticipated that the minute kento finally got better, you were going to contract what he had afterward anyway. and in turn, he’d take care of you.

so what's the harm in a few more kisses?

“so my dear husband, how would you like to start our weekend?” you asked, still cozily tucked under the blankets, looking at your husband who was similarly bundled under the toasty blankets, with your hand situated on top of his, placed gently on your cheek.

“well dear wife, it’s been days since i’ve last shaved.” he simpered, looking down at you with sly eyes.

it was something the both of you saw coming, once again he hadn’t been shaving for a while, but of course, it was deliberate. you softly laugh in response with your voice still heavy in slumber, “i’ll go get the facial steamer— in a few minutes, i want to savor every second of this vacation.” further burrowing yourself into his chest.

it had been a few months since the first time you had to shave kento’s while he was recovering, the proposal went flawlessly if you omit the booming sneezes that startled the executives even through the screen.

you had since made the switch to a straight blade like the ones you’d see used in old school barber shops, watching tutorials on methods exercised by professionals for efficiency and safety.

invested in a proper kit that supplied everything you’d need. from shave oil, pre-shave oil, shave cream, a velvety brush to spread the lather, after-shave (which smelled phenomenal), and blade replacements.

it’s been even longer since his barber last gave him a proper shave after a haircut, and that time will only continue to be prolonged. he loved how close you’d be when focusing, but time after time you’d only grown to relax the tension in your muscles. you’d sit on his lap for more of the session, and those sessions would only go longer from the last.

where there would be conversation taking place about your lives, now and the future. sometimes there would be easy-listening music playing from the speakers that would lay the cornerstones of an “impromptu” dancing session, where kento’s hands would be politely placed on your lower back, and his hand strong in yours, waltzing all around your bathroom for what felt like forever.

he was shirtless, and truth be told a little chilly, and you were wearing an old shirt of his, to him you always looked beautiful. even though there was still plenty of shaving cream on his face, it would eventually be smeared on yours. there wasn’t much more he wanted in life.

if you ask him, any weekend is well-spent, even if you do spend the entirety of it in bed, painting beautiful sceneries, cooking your favourite dishes, dancing with ardour despite having taken one class on ballroom waltz, or you shaving his grown-out stubble. as long as you're by his side, nothing is ever a waste of time. that’s how it’s been, that’s how is it, and that’s how it’ll be.

and who knows, maybe next time kento will convince you to cut his hair.

[interactions] reblogs, comments & likes are appreciated ₊˚⊹♡

#[🎠] — .thea’s chronicles #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #nanami fluff #kento fluff #kento x reader #nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #kento nanami x reader #jjk x fem!reader #nanami x fem!reader #kento x fem!reader #nanami kento x fem!reader #kento nanami x fem!reader #kento x you #nanami x you

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x-liv25-jamieswife · 16 days

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hawthorne weekly dinner head canons

this has been sitting in my drafts for so long (although i only started posting earlier this week, i've had a few posts in my drafts for a while) you can't tell me they don't have weekly dinners. they're all literally so cute. like i can just imagine the four brothers, avery, libby, max, and even rebecca and thea sometimes spending some time all together. i might make a part two bc i honestly love the idea of all of them spending time together at dinner.

max and xander are always talking about the weird things that happened to them that week (once, they managed to get stuck with a lion in a cage at the zoo)

libby and grayson usually cook the food together. xander will help libby make the desserts.

once grayson starts dating someone (lyra probably, for some reason i'm still not convinced they'll end up together), obviously she joins these little dinners.

avery sometimes forces alisa to stop working and join too. she slowly starts to get over nash bc of them (she realises she's a girlboss and doesn't need a man in her life (i hc that she's bi))

grayson really enjoys the meals. he slowly starts to loosen up and smile more (this makes everyone really happy).

they once dared avery to make the food one night, but she's a horrible cook so they just decided to order take out.

jamie, when the plates and everything have been taken away from the table, gets on top of it and starts twerking.

the dinners always lead to everyone settling down in the living room and watching movies/tv shows (in two other posts, i mentioned that xander, grayson, libby, and avery love medical dramas so they probably all just watch that)

rebecca doesn't really like socializing with so many people at once so she brings a book with her. thea notices her all lonely and starts to talk to her bc she's such a good gf (istg they're so cute together).

avery and jameson always sit next to each other and are touching each other (sometimes jamie has an arm wrapped around her shoulder, other times he's holding her hand or places his hand on her thigh.

grayson canonically loves photography, and so these dinners give him the opportunity to show his work. he also takes pictures of them at dinner

sometimes he'll also show everyone some piano pieces he composed (this guy most definitely plays the piano)

these dinner usually end up becoming games of truth or dares, never have i ever, two truths and a lie etc. these games reveal so many things about everyone. so people get to know each other better

libby always has a slew of funny stories about baby avery. avery's always blushing from embarrassment.

sometimes, thea's just on her phone the whole time replying to comments and stuff.

xander likes to sit next to grayson cause he likes to talk about his gadgets and, bc gray doesn't really speak, he can talk freely (gray loves hearing him talk about things he enjoys). xander also has max sitting on his other side so that he can talk to her too, but usually she's busy talking to avery and stuff

during one of these family dinners, they learned that gray had an emo phase when he was 11.

they also learned that avery used to be a hopeless romantic thanks to max and libby (the four brothers, thea, rebecca, and alisa were all shocked cause she doesn't seem like she would be one but then they realized it made sense)

during a game of truth or dare, jameson managed to bang his head so hard on the table he passed out (idk what the dare was)

libby tends to sit across grayson and they start talking about cooking and stuff.

grayson once forgot about the dinner but really wanted to attend. he couldn't find a shirt he liked though and he was so tired that he just showed up shirtless (everyone had no words)

sometimes, avery or one of the brothers will post pics of their dinners and fans always think it's adorable.

jamie and avery will talk about the trips they took together

nash loves to talk about taylor swift's easter eggs/cryptic posts, etc. max who's also a hard core swiftie joins in. the rest of the table, at some point, start to like talking about these easter eggs too, and it becomes a huge thing (i hc that all of them were already swifties prior to these dinners. some less addicted to her music than others though)

they all like reading (except for thea, she doesn't get the point of it) so they start talking about thebooks they like or are currently reading.

at one of these family dinners, its revealed that nash reads smut (people already knew max and xander read smut already cause they aren't ashamed to talk about the weird shit they read)

max is always threatening avery to reveal all of her dirty secrets (they've been friends since childhood, of course max knows things about avery that no one else does)

at first, libby was kinda shy to talk at the table bc she felt like people didn't really care about what she had to say (fuck you drake, it's all cause of him) so nash started comforting her and encouraging her to talk. grayson overheard the conversation and started a conversation with her to encourage her. he told her that she was part of the family whether she wanted to or not, and people wanted to talk to her (she teared up).

sometimes, when libby gets anxious about speaking, nash will put his hand on her thigh and hype her up.

at first, grayson was so happy to have these dinners and be surrounded with people that love him that he would start to tear up in bed at night. over time, he started to accept that these people would always be in his life and stopped crying at night.

if anyone has requests, feel free to leave them! hope you guys like these <3. also here's a little seating plan i made for fun :) when lyra joins someday, she sits between gray and rebecca.

#the inheritance games #the hawthorne legacy #the final gambit #the brothers hawthorne #averyjameson #avery grambs #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #libby grambs #libbynash #rebecca x thea #rebecca laughlin #thea calligaris #maxine liu #maxander #alisa ortega

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psalacanthea · 3 months

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Lip Balm Recipe!

this is the recipe I use for my deep-winter, ow my lips hurt lip balm

1tbsp beeswax pellets

1tbsp cocoa butter (i use unrefined, does add a slight chocolatey flavor

1tbsp cosmetic-grade moisturizing oil (I used olive oil, I usually do for lip stuff, but jojoba is also good. if you use coconut oil your final product will be harder and less creamy-silky, but it works fine)

1tbsp shea butter (mine is unrefined again, which will tint your final product creamy yellow)

5 drops Vitamin E oil (optional, but esp good for your lips)

8-10 drops food-grade essential oil (my favs are peppermint, rose, lavender, and cardamom. this one is cardamom.)

6-7 lip balm tubes or 3 lip balm pots (I made 4 tubes and 1 pot)

You need 2 bowls, one larger than the other. I recommend a metal bowl for the smaller one, as it conducts heat better.

Add all your ingredients to the smaller bowl, pour boiling water into the larger bowl. Place the smaller bowl to float in the water, creating an off-the-heat double boiler.

You could technically do this on the stove, but water from your teakettle will work fine.

Stir the ingredients as they melt, until the mixture is homogeneous. the beeswax takes longest to melt.

Fill the tubes or pots. I don't recommend putting the balm mixture into something to pour it with, as it will begin setting immediately. Better to use a spoon and gently fill the tubes OVER the double boiler, so that the small bowl remains warm and any spillover goes back on the heat.

you will get some drips, just wipe them clean once you cap them, it's no big deal.

Let set, and use!

#thea cooks #lip balm #this is real heavy-duty stuff #if you live in a snowy environment I recommend a touch more beeswax to help it really cling to your lips #i'll be honest the reason I really need this is that I sit in front of a space heater while I'm writing #LOL #really dries out the lips in winter #the sacrifices I make to be Cozy

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thesovereignsring-if · 5 months

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Family members and RO'S reaction to MC on their death bed. Bring out the angst.

5 am agnst let’s goooooooo! I’ve been thinking about this long and hard. I didn’t know how to answer this for a while, but I think I know how now. Hahaha 😝

Finny: Crazy crying mess. He’d be in denial. He’d lash out and think there were be a way to fix things- until he can’t. Then he’d cry and curse the gods and then try to do everything he can for the MC, just so that he could spend as much time as he can with them. Instead of dying in bed, Finny would take the MC outside somewhere petty and meaningful to both of them. Probably a flower field if some sort and then he’d hold the MC and quietly cry as they pass on.

Thea: Would sit down and bring the box of letters she exchanged with the MC as children. She’d read them out loud and explain her thoughts at the time and what was going on in her life. When she’s done, she then pull out all the letter’s she never sent. The ones where all her real feelings are written. She’ll promise to write more even after the MC passes on because the love she has for them is timeless.

Linnet: She’d put up a front. She’s try her hardest to keep it together so that the MC can pass on without troubles or regrets. She’d put a front right until it’s time to say goodbye, then she’d be a mess. She’d confess all her affections, all her worries and regrets…but also how much she admires and appreciates the MC. She start talking about all the things she’s grateful for and she’d thank the MC for being alive and loving her. She promise to look after Alberich and Sieg for them and asks them to wait for her in the afterlife with a pinkyswear.

Medea: She’d cook the MC’s last meal and make sure it’s all their favorite things. She’d make sure they’re comfortable and have everything and anything they wanted. Then when it’s time to go, she’ll be honest with her feelings for the first and last time. She’d talk about her hopes and dreams-the ones she wanted to share with the MC and then say goodbye. But, if the MC was in any kind of pain, I’d think she’d be the one to ‘let them go’ peacefully. She’d want to do it with her own hands. Afterwards, I don’t think the MC would be alone for long.

Helios: Nobody would be able to find Helios. They’d think Helios dipped and abandoned the MC, but in truth, Helios would sneak in once the MC is alone and simply lie in bed with them. They’d want to try and imprint the feeling of the MC in their arms, remember every little detail, every little imperfection, the warmth and the smell. Afterwards, they’d have a tattoo of a little swan (the family sigil) right on their heart. A momento of their lover.

Eirik would be in denial. He’d try fighting the reality of the situation, he’d yell for a doctor or anyone to help the MC. But when he realizes there’s nothing he can do- he’ll break. The facade falls and Eirik becomes honest with this feelings for the first time. He’d be pathetic and beg the MC not to die and leave him alone. He’d finally say something along the lines of ‘I love you’. he’ll even be honest and say he might not be able to move on from this loss. Afterwards, he’d buildt a whole ship in memory of the MC.

Alberich: If Al had his way, I think he’d want to have some alone time with the MC. He’d pull up a chair and get their favorite book out and read, just like he would when they were children. He’ll hold off the tears and read the entire book until the MC ‘falls asleep’. Before breaking down and crying.

Sieghardt: I don’t think h’d show up, not unless someone forces him to. The idea of out living his youngest sibling and not being there for a majority of their live would eat at him to the point where he thinks he doesn’t deserve that spot on the bedside. Once the MC passes, he’d visit the their tombstone every single chance he gets. I don’t think he’d ever recover from the grief.

#answered asks #tsr #OW OW OW OW #eirik #alberich #sieghardt #medea #thea #linnet #finn #helios #Alberich’s one in particular hurts me the most

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silkkorchid · 6 days

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What went down in TWST RP in a week-

Covers 4/13 - 4/19

There is a war between potatoes and eggplants.? WHO IS MAKING THIS AND DOES THE STAFF KNOWN ABOUT IT!?

NRC Fashion is still at it against Lucius.

In the NRC Cooking club, 🍊will eat ANYTHING with chopsticks. But according to mod 🍋 , 🍊 tired to eat soup with chopsticks.

NRC Book club seemly be in a plush fight with everyone.

NRC host 🥀, why the heck you posted a video of people scuba diving while dancing?

NRC Book club, Fashion, Therapist needs help. ALSO BOOK CLUB WHY DID YOU DRINK RANCH AND PRETENDING ITS A SHOT!?

According to NRC Fashion 🐀, it was raining blot in Ignihyde when they went out shopping.?

Lucius is still at it being sassy.

There is a NBC Student Council Account. Rollo if you see this, please be prepared for a lot of craziness…

The aftermath of Sebek kidnapping still continues with that delusional family. NOT THE ZIGVOLT FAMILY! I would like to live a bit longer…

Rumors have it that Sebek smells Malleus’s socks. Where the heck did that came from?

Silver now inform that Diasomnia have an ice cream machine, but Lilia made a questionable combo of choice…

Silver fell asleep and woke up to his face being covered with markers(?).

Thea lost consciousness after eating Jade’s mushrooms.

Riddle came back after two weeks.

Riddle and several other people now know the existence of Riddle’s father tumblr account…

There is two Trey, and @/best-baker-of-the-heartslabyul knows the existence of AUs/ Alternate Universes.

Trey now realizes the existence of children (mostly everyone future children)

Flamingos are still on the loose thanks to someone in Heartslabyul forgetting to lock the gate

Deuce is just in pain thanks to an Anom about that people find his mom hot.

Does Rory love breaking doors like Garroth? (If you get the reference then good for you!)

It’s Ruggie birthday! We are all giving him some type of presents.

Ruggie isn’t allowing his child, Rory, have his duties.

Ruggie got caught by the NRC staff about his way of knocking people out.

Ruggie GET CHEKA OUT OF THE SPELLDRIVE COURT!

Mrs. Ashengrotto has listen to our advice to show us Azul baby photo. And she is trying to find the rest. BE READY AZUL

Thanks to Floyd giving us a dump of information about his parents’ height. I’m terrified if I come across them…

Rook digging into the NRC Monster Control inventory.? Also why does he need samples?

Epel is screaming at Grim and Ace since they haven’t given him his homework yet.

Idia is loosing his shit after the second floor of Ignihyde somehow disappeared.

Ida and Ori Shroud have a luma form.? They became one with the stars I suppose. Also Idia ded

Ortho being called the cutest person to exist. IN WHICH I AGREE

Ortho laser someone after they insulted Idia…

Che’nya still booping people

People are now impersonating others. Let’s see how this will go.

The possum of RSA has been stabbed.

Yuuna came back from the dead and now realize there is an Ashengrotto related to Azul.

Quartz shipping people.

@blind0raven loose it with Deuce SSR event card not coming home. And to add salt on the wound, Deuce came in to apologize. Idk if it was accepted

Raven also running away from their confrontation of her love to Deuce thanks to Amon.

Yuuko and I found a video where Ruggie was being kabedon. And his reason is money, classic Ruggie.

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #disney #twistedwonderland #twst #🍮 speaking #disney twst #twst rp #twst wonderland #twst rp weekly update

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millportdingo · 9 days

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TSC Motifs/Themes/Whatever

Dogs

Starved dog, leash metaphors, cardboard dog, obedience. I think Jean represented as an obedient, loyal dog is pretty straight-forward. I think it's interesting that in the extra content, Nora described him as an angry cat when he came to Evermore. He left as a starved and beaten dog. I wonder where this arc goes, though. Like, he takes a chain around his neck from Renee -per Neil's philosophy, is this "collar" his first reason not to slip the [Moriyama investment] leash? Also Jeremy has always wanted a dog. I guess this piece is a little harder for me to wrap my head around, maybe I'm overthinking it, but maybe he's the right kind of [s]Dom[/s] [s]owner[/s] person for Jean. He has the authority "I'm your captain," but he pairs it with an equalizer "I'm your partner". He pushes Jean, but he holds the hard boundaries. He's intrigued by Jean's scoop neck deep blue shirt - I think partly for the personal growth to wear color and partly because it allows him to see Jean's collarbone. He shivers with the sound of "Yes, Jeremy." I wonder if "my mom is allergic to dogs" is foreshadowing his family's reaction to Jean.

2. Safety

Neil's arc was about hope, finding a future in a futureless situation. Jeremy's had an idea of the future, the perfect court, but his big thing is safety. "Safe" and its variations appear in TSC 48 times. This boy is really not asking for much, but Jeremy makes him feel safer which is just too sweet. Also, tighten those screws for safety..

3. Childhood

At the beginning of the book, Jean knows immediately that he is not in the Nest, because he knows every inch of it. He feels like he knows everything about the world and he often insults people by calling them children. His childhood innocence was stolen from him at the Nest, and outside of it, he regains pieces of it. He wonders at the vastness of the world, he learns skills he never had before (shopping, cooking). I had a hard time when I found out he was 19 (ie 14 and 16 at the time of some really unpleasant things). I didn't understand why he had to be two years younger. But the protection and corruption of innocence is a big part of his story. We see that acutely with his sister's story and it allows him to turn on his parents without guilt. The duck/duckling motif is cute too. When he first comes to Evermore, Thea describes him as a little duckling. He associates little yellow ducks with his childhood and baby sister.

4. Air?

Being able to breathe is core to the safety thing. When Jean feels least safe, he can't breathe. One of his earliest revelations about being Riko's pet was the buried alive punishment, and pressing his face against the sparse airholes. Then there's the waterboarding thing. You'll see Jean mentions being unable to breathe when he feels threatened and grabs at his throat. Conversely his happy things include breeze and open sky (rainbow and the open road). When Grayson appears, Jean says he can no longer feel the breeze, and he is particularly disturbed by the neck biting. There are lots of throat and neck things going on in the book too and maybe it's a stretch but burning (ie eating away at oxygen) comes up several times too.

#ngl i hate when people say nora's not a great writer #like she gave you this masterpiece for literally less than 1 dollar #so shuddafakkup #the sunshine court #tsc spoilers #tsc #nora sakavic #all for the game #aftg #tsc meta #jean moreau #jeremy knox

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thelov3lybookworm · 9 months

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You Deserve Better (part six)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

•○🌑○•

Cassian's pov

Cassian had just finished his bath after a gruelling training session and sat down on the couch next to Az, opposite Rhys, when Rhys's mom walked in with a little girl hiding behind her skirts.

"I'm home boys." The Lady of Night Court said in her soothing and gentle voice, her wings tucked behind her. She tugged on the small hand holding her larger one, but the girl didn't budge from her position. The lady sighed. "Rhysand, come get your sister. She insisted on coming to meet you, but now she won't stop hiding."

Rhys stood up, grinning, walking towards them and peeking at the little girl. "Hello sweet pea."

The little girl's smile turned into a scowl, and honestly, it was so adorable Cassian couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"I don't like peas Rhysie. Don't call me that."

"Alright fine. Now come here. Let mother go." She reluctantly let go of her mother's skirts and raised her arms towards Rhys, waiting to be picked. He obliged and walked back to his place."I'm going to change and the go cook dinner. Don't get into any trouble."

"Us? Trouble? Never." Cassian said. As she passed by him, she ran a hand through his hair, patting Az's shoulder before entering her room.

"How have you been Thea?" Rhys questioned, setting her in his lap.

"I've been fine. Father got me more new toys and candies yesterday. Don't tell mother, but I sneaked some for you as well."

"Is that so? That's so nice." Then Rhys angled her so she could look at Cassian and Azriel. "That is Cassian. And that is Azriel."

Cassian smiled at her and she clung harder to Rhysand, as if they were going to eat her. Cassian walked over to them and knelt next to Rhys. "Hello Althea. How are you?"

"I'm good. Cassian." She said hesitantly. She looked up at her brother when Cassian held out his hand, who nodded. She slid her tiny hand into his.

"You can call me Cass." He said raising her hands and placing a kiss on her knuckles. She began giggling.

"Cass... can I call you Cassie?"

"C–cassie?"

"Mmhmm." She nodded seriously. "Like I call Rhys Rhysie, you'll be Cassie. Otherwise you can't be my friend."

"Oh mother. That's sad. I guess you can call me Cassie then."

She then turned to look at Az, who smiled. "You'll be Azzie." She didn't wait for his response as she hopped down from Rhys's lap and grinned at him before pulling out candies from her pockets and setting them on the table. "For all of us. We should eat them before mother sees." She said gravely.

•○🌑○•

As the inner circle waited for Rhys and Feyre to arrive with Nyx, Elain spoke up.

"Can I ask something, if you don't mind?"

"Sure Elain." Cassian said as he settled between Mor and Nesta. Everyone had arrived and already taken their seats. Azriel angled his body towards Elain as she opened her mouth to speak.

"Who is the seat on the left side of Rhys's for? Its always empty and no-one sits there."

Cassian smiled as memories flooded him from back when Althea was still living in Velaris with them. How she always loved to bicker with him, but loved him just as much. How, since the first time he had met her, she had always insisted on calling him Cassie, rather than just Cass.

After she had left, it had become an unspoken fact that the seat next to Rhys's was only reserved for Althea.

The flap of wings could be heard but no one paid attention to it as they knew it would be Rhys. They didn't realise there was a second pair of beating wings.

"That seat is for–"

"Me." Someone said from near one of the many balconies. Cassian whipped his head around, and his heart stopped dead in his chest.

There she stood, next to Rhys and Casteel, in a sleeveless turtleneck flowy white gown, grinning at them.

"That is my seat."

Cassian was out of his chair and halfway to Althea before he even realised he had moved. She also moved and the next moment, she had her arms thrown around his neck and he had completely lifted her off the ground.

"Cassian! I swear if you dare drop me– you asshole!" She screeched when he twirled her around. He laughed, but set her down. He flicked her nose and she swatted his hand away. "Well, hello to you too Cassie."

She looked behind him and smiled. "Hello Mor." Althea walked to her and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry–"

"Shh. Its alright." She pulled back to look at Mor and grinned. Then waved her left hand in front of her face. "I'm engaged."

Mor squealed and hugged her again. When they parted, Althea barely had the time to turn before Amren pulled her down for a hug. Althea gaped, looking at Cassian before hugging her back.

"About time you returned, girl." She let go as suddenly as she had grabbed Althea.

Althea grinned, turning to look at others that were gathered. Cassian walked to Rhys while Feyre introduced Althea to her sisters.

"She really is back?"

Rhys shook his head. "I'm not sure."

He glanced at Casteel who stood next to him.

"We might stay for today, and maybe meet frequently, but we are needed at the camp. She helps with the girls' training. I've told her she doesn't have to and that she could stay here, she hasn't decided yet."

Rhys nodded while everyone proceeded to sit at the table, an extra chair next to Althea's having been summoned by the House.

•○🌑○•

Althea's pov

They had moved to a sitting room after the dinner, having brought out Rhys's wine. They were all talking and laughing about some story Cassian was telling, and Althea grinned. She had missed this.

It wasn't as awkward or scary as she thought it would be. And seeing Azriel didn't bother her at all, which she was not really surprised to realise.

She was sitting between Rhys and Casteel, her head on Rhys's shoulder, Feyre next to him with Nyx playing with the ornaments on her chest. Cassian was on the couch next to Casteel, his arm around Nesta. Elain sat next to Nesta, Azriel next to her. Amren and Varian sat on the other couch with Mor.

Everyone fell silent, smiles on their faces, thinking about what to say or do next. Then Cassian spoke up again, serious, as if he were planning a war.

"Let's play truth or dare. If you don't answer or do the dare, you take a shot."

"Alright." Althea sat straighter, while the glasses and liquor appeared and Mor filled all of them up.

"I'll go first." Cassian grinned, turning to Casteel. Althea poked Casteel's back.

"Be prepared. I'm pretty sure he's going to ask what I think he is."

He nodded. "Truth." Raising his wine glass, he took a sip.

"Have you ever measured your wingspan? If yes, how big is it?"

Casteel sputtered, choking on the wine as soon as the question was out of Cassian's mouth. Althea had to pat his back, and he took a deep breath.

"Didn't I tell you how serious these people are regarding wingspans?"

"I didn't realise." He muttered. "No. I haven't ever measured it. Didn't need to."

"Why?" Nesta questioned.

"I know how big parts of me are, which I'm pretty sure is the reason you're asking." This time, Althea choked on the tea that she was drinking, opting out of drinking wine, knowing she couldn't handle it.

Casteel leaned back, grinning while she glared at him. The smug bastard.

Nesta's interest seemed piqued while Mor was grinning too. Cassie had narrowed his eyes, and Elain looked around questioningly. When she turned to Azriel, he looked away.

"Anyway, it's my turn. Thea, truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Hmm." As he was wondering what to ask her, Cassian leaned over and whispered something in his ear, making him grin. "What's the most embarrassing thing that has happened in front of someone you were interested in?"

"Drinking. That's all. I drink something, and I do all the embarrassing things imaginable." She paused before continuing. "Only once has me drinking led to anything good."

"And when was that?" Mor asked.

"The night we confessed." She sent a cheeky grin at Cas before turning to Rhys. And so it continued, till it was again Cassie's turn.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to compare your wingspan to the one with the biggest wingspan here. That would unfortunately be Azriel. Not me." He sighed sadly.

"Told you they were obsessed with wingspans." Althea murmured as Casteel stood.

"What do you mean unfortunately?" Azriel grumbled as he walked over and stretched his wings. A measuring tape appeared in front of Cassian and he stood, everyone's focus on the Illyrians stretching their wings.

He started measuring Azriel's wings first, then, saying it out loud, he walked to Casteel, who extended his. Everyone watched with bated breath as Cassian measured it, his eyes widening.

"Holy shit."

"What?" Azriel and Rhys asked simultaneously.

"His is fucking bigger. Two inches, to be precise."

Rhys shot up, walking till he was next to Cassian, gaping when he realised he wasn't lying.

Althea shook her head as all the Illyrians settled back in their places, all of them except Casteel grumbling. When Cassian turned to look at Nesta, she shook her head at him, frowning. Which was not really the best thing to do, as he started arguing and bickering with her. Althea yawned, her eyes drooping.

As the game went on, it was Casteel's turn, making him look at her. "You wanna go sleep?" He asked when he realised she was halfway to falling asleep on Rhys's shoulder. Althea nodded, sitting up straighter. As she announced that she was going to go rest, Casteel stood up. Being mostly tired, but also craving his attention and love, she raised her hands, wanting to be picked up. He raised a brow.

"Come on. I need some affection, alright? You've been ignoring me the whole day."

Casteel grinned, bending to pick her up. "Is that so, princess?" He mumbled in her ear.

"Yes." Her arms wrapped around his neck as his one of his hands went behind her knees and the other braced her back.

"Oh Mother, never thought I'd see something so scandalous!" Mor whisper yelled.

The retort on the tip of Althea's tongue died down as she again nodded of, before she buried her face in Cas's neck.

She had no recollection of what happened next other than hearing everyone deciding to go to sleep and Casteel following Azriel because his and Althea's rooms were pretty close.

•○🌑○•

Casteel set her down on the bed, a set of folded night clothes appearing at the foot of the bed. Casteel helped her change into them, which was code for he dressed her, because she was dozing off the whole time. When he was done with her, he went into the adjoining bathing room to change into his own night clothes. As he came out, he found Althea sleepily reaching for him. He smiled, climbing in next to her and pulling her into his chest, covering the both of them with his wings and falling asleep.

What he didn't realise, was that a fuming spymaster, the one who had been quiet and indifferent throughout the time they had been in Velaris, was hiding in the corner of the room, where the shadows were the thickest, wondering how and why the hell he had rejected the female in Casteel's arms.

•○🌑○•

The wedding was in two days.

Althea was ecstatic. Impatient. But also nervous. Panicked. What if things didn't go as planned? What if something happened? What if Casteel decided he didn't want to be with her?

It was a stupid thought, because everyone knew that would never happen.

They were just finishing some last minute shopping and picking up the wedding outfits, when it happened.

Althea was deep in conversation with Feyre, Mor and Nesta, the men following behind. Elain had chosen to stay back at the River House, tending to her garden, and Amren and Varian were doing whatever they did in their free time at Amren's apartment.

A tiny meowing sound drew Althea's attention, and she peeked around Feyre, finding a tiny white cat shivering in the shade of the building. It looked so scared. Althea pulled away from the group who slowed down and crouched next to the cat, picking it up. It was a boy.

Althea rubbed his head, holding him close till he stopped shivering. Then she stood and turned to Casteel with a pout.

"I can't leave him here Cas. Look at him. He looks so frail. Can I keep him?"

He looked like he wanted to say no, but then he sighed. "You think I can say no?"

Althea squealed, kissing his cheek before whispering in the cats ear that she was taking him home, like one would talk to a child.

"Never realised you wanted a cat." Rhys mused.

"Yeah well, now you know. I think I'll name him Silas." She looked up at him, her eyes meeting Az's in the process of looking back down at Silas.

SNAP.

•○🌑○•

A/n: I know I said I would take some time in posting this as I'm reading the new book in Casteel's series but I felt like not being bad. So here yall go loves.❣️

Taglist: @bubybubsters @Act1839 @we-were-beautiful

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vanfleeter · 26 days

Text

Matched: Chapter 2 - The Postcard

*Please read the warnings below*

Characters: Jake Kiszka x Thea Warnings: 18+. Language. Angst. Anger. Yelling. Jealousy. Dark thoughts. Talks of death/suicide. Crying. Smut. Mentions towards sex. Unprotected sex (p in v). Oral sex (f receiving). Fingering (f receiving). Fluff. (please let me know if I have missed anything so I can add to the list) Author's Note: I couldn't wait, but now I have to force myself to wait until this coming Sunday to share the third chapter.

*If having read the warnings and you feel uncomfortable, please do not continue on*

We had fallen asleep there inside the boat, entangled with each other. I didn’t mind it though. The bed was comfortable and the bedding was heavy enough to keep us both warm as the pole barn grew colder overnight.

I held her close as she slept beside me. It feels so right having my arms wrapped around her. She smells like a perfect mix of sex and apples. The apples must be her shampoo. Curling tighter around her body, I pull her as close as I can to mine. I can see her cheeks rise and she smiles and I press my lips to the back of her neck. I trace the curves of her collarbone and up the expanse of her neck. Her cheeks rise even higher as I drag my finger over the line of her jaw.

Soon she turns over and smiles up at me. “Good morning.” She says.

“Good morning.” I say back with a smile. “Are you hungry? I could cook us something in the house.”

She shakes her head and buries her face into the side of my neck. “Not right now..” I hear her mumble against my skin.

“Then what do you want to do?” I ask while I trace my fingers up and down her spine. “I don’t mind laying here all day, but our bodies will need sustenance soon.”

She smiles against my neck and pulls away. “Make love to me.” She says.

“I don’t have another–” I begin to say. That condom was my last one, truthfully.

She shakes her head. “I have an implant.”

“You do?” She nods her head and rolls onto her back.

I stroke myself a few times to get myself hard again before I nudge her legs apart. I rub my tip through her folds, shuddering slightly at the feel of her. I look back into her eyes looking for permission to continue and she smiles and nods her head. Slowly I push myself inside of her. The friction between us feels incredible as I brush against her walls with every inch that I can reach until I’m completely bottomed out. “Damn..” I mumble as I rest my head on her chest. Feeling her completely felt like a whole different world. Still with my head resting on her chest, I make slow and intentional thrusts. Turning my head I leave soft kisses along her skin. I kept the pace at a slow one, taking my time to be with her. I’ve been unsure of how long I had with her.

I wanted to make this last because, what if she leaves today and things just stay as they are and we don’t move forward? What if after this morning.. What if this is it?

I hadn’t realized that I had fallen deep into my thoughts until I felt her tap my cheek. “Jake?” She softly speaks, resting the palm of her hand against the side of my face, cupping it. I lifted my head, my eyes meeting hers. “Are you alright?”

I pull out of her, already mourning the loss of contact. I lay out beside her on the bed, my eyes fastened to the ceiling above us. “Thea..” I finally speak. “I don’t want to do this if it means you’re only going to leave..”

I feel the bed move as she comes closer. Her delicate hand rests on my chest. “I’m going nowhere,” She says.

“You mean it?”

“I do.” She leans over and presses her lips to mine. “Now I’m hungry..”

I can’t help the snort that escapes me. “Come on..” I say as I push myself off the bed.

–

We couldn’t really keep our hands off of each other. Okay.. Mostly me. I can’t help myself. I finally have her and I don’t want to waste a single moment not touching her.

I have my arm wrapped around her as I toy with her pussy. She’s bracing herself against the counter top of the kitchen island, knuckles turning white as she rides out her orgasm on my fingers. “That’s my girl..” I whisper into her ear as I kiss the skin behind it.

She leans back against me, her head resting on my shoulder. I gently sway our bodies from side to side. “Can we do this every time we have breakfast?”

I chuckle and kiss her cheek. “As you wish..”

I feel her smile as she turns around to face me. Her beautiful, doe eyes look at me, full of such wonder. I could get lost in her eyes and never want to find my way back. She’s my siren and I will gladly follow her to the deepest depths of the ocean. Let her take my soul, claim it. Own it for eternity. Dramatic? Sure. But is it the truth? Always.

“What are you thinking about?” She says through a giggle.

“Your eyes,” I say, never breaking contact with her irises.

Her eyes squint just a little as her smile grows. “My eyes?”

I nod my head. “They’re beautiful.” I say. “Especially when the sun shines against them at the right time.”

“And why is that?”

“You remember those root beer candies?”

“Mmhmm..”

“And when you’d hold them up to the light, they had that perfect golden, brown glow to it?” She nods her head, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. I reach for her hips and press her body against mine. “That’s how your eyes look. They have a golden, brown glow to it and I find that beautiful.”

“But not perfect?” She pouts her bottom lip and I smile.

“Of course it’s perfect.” I lean in and press my lips against hers. “Everything about you is perfect.” She rolls her eyes, not in the way I could make them roll, but rolling them nonetheless. “Don’t do that,” I say, staring her in her eyes again. “There is nothing about you that I won’t find perfect.”

I grind my hips against her naked center, pushing my robe away from her body. My hardened length rubs against her folds. Her head falls backwards as she leans back against the counter and her eyes flutter closed as she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip once more.

“Jake..” She moans. “Please..”

I roll my hips again before pulling away and sliding down my boxers, freeing myself. I stroke myself before I hitch her leg up and around my waist and slowly push myself inside of her. She whines, letting her head fall back even further. I thrust inside of her, pumping gingerly before picking up the pace.

The robe comes undone from around her chest, exposing her breasts as they bounce with each thrust. “Oh god, Jake.. Right there, baby..”

“Yeah?” I slide my hands up her body, cupping each of her breasts in my hands. “Do you feel good?”

She eagerly nods her head as she claws at the counter tops, in search of something to hold on to. Letting go of her breasts, I grab hold of her legs and pick them up and bending them closer to her body as I thrust even deeper inside of her. She lets out this animalistic moan.

I feel her walls clench around my cock, her breaths growing ragged. I keep up my pace, bringing us both closer to our climaxes. “Touch yourself.” I find myself demanding. Her hand creeps in between her legs and her fingers begin toying with her clit, rubbing it in circles and pressing harshly. Her walls clench around me again and I find myself cursing loudly as I spill inside of her. She’s following right behind me, her own release covering my cock and mixing with my release.

I stay buried inside of her as I gently lower her legs and lean over top of her. “Definitely doing this every morning.” She says, her eyes never leaving the ceiling.

I burst into laughter before carefully sliding out of her. I grab a washcloth and wet it before cleaning off my length and folding it over to clean her center.

Helping her down from the counter, I notice her legs shake a little. She shoves me away when she catches me snicker. “Come on, let’s go wash up.”

“Uh, Jake?”

I turn back to face her. “Yeah?”

“I’m going to need help up the stairs.”

Walking back over to her, I scoop her up into my arms and I carry her up the stairs and into my bedroom. Setting her gently on the toilet, I reach around the shower curtain and turn the faucet letting the warm water spray down from the shower head. We spent the next thirty minutes washing up before retreating to the bed.

There wasn’t love making or heavy sex this time around, just hands touching each other’s bodies as our tongues wrestled. Her skin is soft, it feels unreal. It’s like silk against the calluses that cover my hands. I know I don’t deserve her. I’ve done nothing to earn her love but here she is, pressed against my body allowing me to hold her, to have her.

“Jake..” She says as she tries pulling her away. She giggles as I pull back to me. “Jake, as much as I want to stay like this, I really should go get clean clothes.”

“I have clothes,” I say as I kiss her neck. “You can wear them.” I continue kissing her neck, slowly drawing her back in. But alas she pulls away again and pecks my lips before climbing off my lap. “Please don’t go..” I plead. “Please..”

Thea gives me a sympathetic look. “I promise I’ll come right back–I can’t live in your clothes forever.”

“You could.”

She smiles and pecks my lips one last time before spinning around and grabbing the robe off the door handle. She slides it on and ties it around her waist, securing it so it covers everything, and skips out of the room.

Falling back against the pillows, I exhale sharply and throw my arms back behind my head. She comes back to the room, not even ten minutes laters, fully clothed and leaning against the doorframe. “Enjoying the view, are we?” I say, flashing her a grin.

“Very..” She laughs. “But I need a favor..”

“And how ever can I help?” I say, sitting up in bed.

“Can you drive me to my place?” She asks. “I mean–I could walk, but that’s at least four miles and I’m too lazy.” Chuckling, I nod my head before dragging myself off the bed and to my dresser to get clothes.

I’m going to her place. I’ve never been to her apartment before. With being Sam at the time, and then I taking off to sail around the world, there never seemed to be a reason for me to ever be over at her place.

Leading me upstairs to her apartment, I watch her as she fishes in her purse for the keys and pulls them out to unlock the door. Pushing it open, she steps aside to let me in. “Uh, just make yourself comfortable. I shouldn’t be long.” She says as she hangs up her purse and kicks off her shoes.

Glancing around her apartment, I come to notice how simple it is. Everything has a place for itself. Pictures line the wall, mostly family. Family that I’ve never met. Will I ever? My eyes land on a photo, one I’ve never seen before. One that must have been taken while I was gone.

Sam has his arms wrapped around her, as they both smile gleefully at the camera.

I tear my eyes from it as I hear her come walking back down the hallway.

“I’m ready.” She says as she smiles at me.

I smile back, pushing the thought of the photo out of my mind. “Shall we?” I say extending my hand.

Arriving back at my place, I carry her bag upstairs for her. My phone buzzes in my pocket. I set her bag on the bed and pulled my phone out of my pants pocket. Josh’s name flashes on the screen. An instant smile spreads across my face. I hadn’t spoken to Josh since I got back, so seeing his name again fills me with happiness.

“To what do I owe this call from you, brother?” I say as I answer his call.

His chuckles sound through the phone. “Still on that Oliver Reed shit, I see.”

I laugh. “His spirit resides within me,” I continue with the bit before changing back to my normal voice. “It’s good to hear your voice again. Been a while–though seriously, what is the reason for you calling me?”

“Sam..” Josh says with a tone that suggests he’s not entertained with what he is about to tell me. “He came up with this new riff, apparently, and he wants us all to come over–maybe add more to it. Claims it could possibly land on the new album.”

New album. I hadn’t been back home long before I’m already being pulled back into the reins of the band. Though I’ve had a long enough time away, and I do miss the band, the music, and playing for thousands of people, I’m not quite ready to dive straight back in. But to see my brothers again, to play music with them, I wouldn’t pass that up. It was one of the things that I have missed.

“Give me ten minutes and then I’ll be on my way.”

“Sounds wonderful,” Josh says gleefully. “Bring everything, I have a feeling that it’s going to be a long day.”

“That sounded like a cheery phone call,” Thea says as she walks over.

I put my phone away and unzipped her bag. “Sam came up with a new riff, wants us all to come over to try to add more to it. Thinks it might end up on the new album.”

“New album?” She says curiously. “Diving back in already?’

I shrug my shoulders and pull out her clothes from her bag. “Slowly, I hope.” I say with a small twinge of a smile tugging at the side of my lips. “I have space in my closet for you to hang these up, so they don’t wrinkle.” I take the empty bag and carry it to the closet. “I’m gonna get ready while you put everything away and then we can leave when I’m done.”

She nods her head and kisses my cheek. “Don’t take too long, you know how impatient Josh can be.”

I chuckle and nod my head. “Unfortunately, I do.” I say as I pull her in for a kiss. “I promise I won’t take long.” I grab a shirt off of a hanger and a pair of pants before going off to the bathroom. I’ve already showered, so there isn’t much I have to do.

I was in the middle of buttoning my pants when Thea stepped up into the door holding a postcard in her hand. A worn postcard. One that I haven’t seen in months since my time spent in Spain. I felt my heart plummet to my feet, or rather my stomach, I felt like I wanted to vomit.

My love travels far to wherever you are. I hope you think of me, because I think of you. Things did not turn out as I hoped they would be. But there is not a thing I can do. Is there?

I knew the words all too well. Remembered them as if they were seared into my brain.

“Where did you find that?” I ask.

“It fell from one of your shirts when I was hanging up my dress–I accidentally brushed against it when I turned…”

“I never wanted you to read that.” I say. “I should’ve burned it when I had the chance to.”

Her eyebrows pull together and her hands drop to her sides. “But Jake–”

“I was in a bad state when I wrote that..” I say.

“Bad state? Wh-What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I say as I finish buttoning my pants.

“Jake, I-”

“Please, just.. Let it be..”

“But-”

“Thea!” I shout and slam my hand on the sink’s counter. I inhale a shaking breath, clenching my jaw and rolling my fists into balls at my sides. “Just listen to me, please,” I say as calmingly as I can. “I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve dealt with it, it’s in the past.”

“Jake, it was dated six months ago..”

“Thea, stop pushing this–pushing me. You don’t know anything..” I step up to her and rip the postcard out of her hands before tearing it into pieces and tossing it into the trash and storming out of the bathroom.

All that time that I worked so hard to get rid of, to push out of my head, just comes flooding right back up the drain. I was right when I said that I should’ve burned that postcard. I never should’ve kept it. I don’t even know why I did it.

I feel bad for yelling at her, but I needed her to stop. I wanted her to let it go. I didn’t mean to yell, it just happened.

As I sit there on the edge of the boat in the pole barn with my legs dangling over the edge, I’m back on the calm waters of the Pacific, watching the sun setting. The postcard is clutched in my hands as I stared aimlessly at the horizon and the sinking sun. That’s how I felt. Just like the sun, sinking. Drowning.

I knew I had to let her go. Knew that she didn’t belong to me in that moment. That she might never be mine. I’ve said this before that I was selfish, hoping and wishing she’d be mine. If she wanted to be with Sam, then I’d let her. If he truly loved her, then I’d let him. I’d move on and forget all about her.

Aside from the music, there was nothing else tethering me to this world, to this life.

Stuffing the postcard into the pocket of my shirt, I slide the sleeves off of my shoulders and chuck the shirt behind me onto the boat. Standing to my feet, I grasp hold of the rope that is pulled tightly to keep the sails upright. The wind blows through my hair, the gentle breeze feeling like her silk skin brushing over my shoulders.

Just do it. The little voice inside my head says, nudging me closer to the edge.

A gust of wind tips the boat, causing me to lose my footing. I slip off the edge, my grip falling from the rope. I slide off the edge of the boat, grasping for anything to grab hold on it. My hand finally grips onto the metal pole on the side of the boat. My body slammed into the side, scraping against the ladder. I knew I was cut when the salt water touched my rib cage causing immense stinging.

I managed to pull myself back up into the boat and fell onto the deck, with my heart pounding in my chest and my breathing ragged. The sunset skies high above me, taunting me in reds and oranges. I hadn’t moved from that spot, even when the skies turned dark and the stars started to appear.

Just the tiny sliver of me still held hope, that maybe, just maybe, she felt the same way as I did for her.

Had she stopped me in Florida all those months ago, had she come up to me, I wouldn’t have had those thoughts. But I know I can’t hold the blame over her for my own selfish actions. I know better than that. I just wish now that she would have come to me.

I hear the door to the pole barn squeak open and I look over to see Thea slowly step in, her eyes carefully watching me as if I were going to explode on her again. Climbing down from the boat, I walk over to her and gently reach for her hand. I place my lips upon the top of her hand, giving her a gentle kiss before I hold it between my hands.

“I’m sorry,” I say, resting my forehead against her. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“I’m sorry I pried..” She says. “I promise I wasn’t–”

I shake my head, interrupting her, “There are some things you should know–and it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I’m not ready.”

“Well,” She holds my hands and presses them to her chest. “I’m here when you are ready.” She says. “Now come on, we should get going. I’m sure everyone is waiting.”

–

“Yes! The prodigal brother returns!” Danny jokes as he throws his arms onto the air. They come down and fall around my shoulders, pulling me for a hug. “It’s great to see you–I missed you while you were away.”

I chuckled, hugging him back. “Yeah sure you did,” I joke. “I saw post after post–always at a party, Mr. Social Butterfly.”

Danny laughs and pats my shoulders. “Well what else was I supposed to do while you embarked on your journey?”

Josh was the next one to greet me. “Even though we just talked on the phone, I still want to hug you.” He laughs before throwing his arms around me. It felt good hugging him again. I had missed having him by my side at every waking moment. “It is great to have you back home.”

“I hope you worked on your film while I was away,” I say while we still hug. “I told you to.”

“Well,” Josh sighs and pulls away. “I did..” A sly smile spreads on his face. “It was thrilling! The script was amazing, by the way. Everyone loved it. We got it all done within six months and it’s finally out of post production. I think the studio wants to submit it to a film festival in New York.”

“That is all incredible!” I exclaim as I playfully shove Josh. “So while Danny was out partying and doing god knows what else, you actually filmed a movie.”

Josh eagerly nods his head. “Oh and she,” Josh points in Thea’s direction and flashes me a smile before continuing. “She helped out a lot with this process. Mostly in makeup but she made everyone look gorgeous. I keep asking her to be our makeup artist but she keeps declining.”

She beams a grin at him. “I didn’t decline, I said I’d think about it.”

Josh chuckles. “Nonetheless, she was fantastic.” He then pulls me off to the other side of the living room, saying he wants me to read over some of the lyrics he had conjured up over the last few months.

I notice Sam walking over to Thea and greeting her with a small hug. “I see ditching you two at the bar worked out,” Sam winks as he nudges her side.

She smiles. “You could say that.”

“Alright, are we going to do something or are we just going to stand around?” Danny says before drumming a little.

The melodic sound of my guitar flows through the void, filling my ears and wrapping around my body like an invisible hand that guides me through the dark. I sit there on the floor, in front of the fireplace and strumming delicately on my guitar. A notebook is open in front of me as I chew on a pencil between my teeth.

I stop playing and lean forward, pulling the pencil from my mouth, and jotting a few notes on the paper. “Did I wake you?” I ask, noting Thea’s presence in the threshold of the living room. “Come here..” I beckon, still keeping my back turned facing her as I continue to write in my notebook.

Her feet move, pulling her deeper into the living room. Bending down on the floor, she sits down beside me. “Can’t sleep?” She finally says.

I nod my head. “Tossed and turned so much I feared that I would wake you..”

“So you came down here to play?”

Again I nod my head. “Clears my head–which then makes it easier for me to sleep.”

“It sounds beautiful,” She says. “A little chilling, but beautiful.”

I smile a little. “Until it gets switched to the SG, paired with Sam’s bass, and Danny’s drums, then it’ll sound electric–no pun intended.”

“And what about Josh?” She asks.

I chuckled and wrote a little more into my notebook. “Somehow he’ll write lyrics that sound just as haunting as the music but yet when he sings it, it’ll sound uplifting and beautiful, even if the words suggest a deeper meaning otherwise.”

“Such a talented bunch.”

I smile again and lean back against the pillows that I had propped up against the coffee table.

“Is the fire a part of your cleansing?” She asks.

“Nothing like sweating out the toxins.”

She laughs and presses a kiss to my cheek. I turn my head to look at her. “You have bags under your eyes.” I say.

She rolls her eyes and I laugh. “Gee, way to make a girl feel beautiful.”

I lean over and press a gentle kiss on her. “You are always beautiful.” I say. “And besides, I’m pretty sure that I have some too.”

“Yes,” She says as she rests her shin on my shoulder. “Makes you look–”

“Watch it..”

“Or what?”

I hum, setting my guitar gently on the floor in front of me and I tug her onto my lap, forcing her legs to straddle my waist. I can feel the heat of her chest through the fabric of the worn t-shirt that she stole from my dresser. My hands slide up her waist and underneath the shirt and I push it up and over her breasts before pulling it off.

Slowly I lay her on the floor, on her back as I kiss her, and trailing them down her neck and to the valley of her breasts. I continue down her torso, swirling my tongue around her belly button. Dragging her underwear down her legs, I toss them away before spreading her legs.

I sweep my tongue through her folds and her back snaps into an arch as I insert a finger beside my tongue. She moans out into the air, reaching her hands down to my hair and tugging on it and I hum against her throbbing clit.

Soon I have her climaxing. Coming down from her high, she tilts her head downwards to look between her legs as I continue to lap up her release, not letting one drop be missed. Once I was finished, I helped her back up and rest her back in my lap.

“Jake..”

“Hmm?” I murmur, burying my face into the crook of her neck.

“What happened out there?” She asks, bracing for me to react the same way I did yesterday.

“Out where?”

“In Spain.. What happened?”

I inhale and turn my eyes to the fire. “This isn’t a conversation to be had at four in the morning..” I say.

“But I think it’s a conversation we need to have..”

I nod my head and kiss her shoulder, my lips lingering longer than usual. “You’ll look at me differently..” I finally speak.

“Jake, you said you were in a dark place,” She turns on my lap to face me, caressing my face in her hands. “Was it because of me?” I cast my eyes downwards, confirming her answer. When I look back up at her, I know she can see the tears filling my eyes. “Jake..”

“It wasn’t just…you..” I say, my voice trembling and my chin quivering. “I believed that I wasn’t good enough for you, I believed that I wasn’t good enough for anything–or anyone. I-If you didn’t want me–or love me–then who would?” She lifts her hand to my cheek and wipes away the fallen tear. “I felt like I was suffocating, being dragged down by everything.. And the date.. Written on that postcard–that was the day I contemplated ending it all..”

My heart beats fast in my chest. I had never spoken that aloud to anyone. I wanted to die. I believed I had nothing to live for anymore.

“I almost did–but not by my own hand..” I continue. “The wind, it was strong that day and it blew the sails, nearly tipping the boat over and—I slipped..” I sniffles and wipe the back of my hand over my nose. “I got lucky when I caught myself.. I may have cut myself in the process, but it kickstarted something in me said to just keep going.. Even if you didn’t love me back the way that I loved you–or if I wasn’t the best in my career.. So I gave you up, gave up trying to prove myself to everyone–” I take a breath. “And I thought I was over you, for good–until you showed up at the bar the other night and everything came flooding back.”

I reach for my hand and leave a gentle kiss on it. “I took my shot,” I continued. “And I’m glad I did.. I’ve never felt more alive than I do right now.”

I see her own tears so I reach up and swipe my thumb over her cheek, collecting the fallen tears and taking them away.

“I’m okay..” I say. “Because I have you.”

She smiles and brushes my hair back behind my ears. “You will always have me. No matter where you go, I go. I just hope you don’t get annoyed when I follow you so closely that you can feel me in your bones.”

I chuckle and roll my eyes. “I could never get annoyed.”

“Good, because you are stuck with me for eternity–however,” She pats my chest and leans a little ways away. “If you don’t take me out on that boat, then you can forget anything about a happily ever after.”

I snort and squeeze her ass in my hands. “I can take you out on it,” I say. “Pick anywhere in the world, and I’ll take you there.”

“Anywhere?”

I nod my head.

“Can we go to Brazil? I’ve always wanted to go to Rio.”

“We can go there.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.. I’d take you anywhere that you desired to go.”

She snuggles back into my body, resting her head on my shoulder. “If you had to pick one spot that you traveled to, where would it be?”

“Greece,” I say with no hesitation. “It’s peaceful there and the waters are beautiful. I met this older woman there, she owned a shop with her husband, he makes hats–made me one,” I rub the pad of my thumb over her knuckles as I continue to tell the story. “The woman, she once asked if I loved anyone and I said yes, and she told me that if the love is real, I should hold tightly to it because soon life will go by and I’ll find myself old and with gray hair wishing for times like this. She told me not to waste a second of it or take it for granted, because we never know what tomorrow will bring.”

“Smart woman.”

“I thought so..” I move to sit up and grab the t-shirt to slip back over her body. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

“Is your head finally clear?”

I smile and nod my head. “It is..”

After the fire was put out and I had gathered my guitar and notebook, we made our way back upstairs to the bedroom. I curl my body around her and press a delicate kiss to her cheek.

Opening my notebook, I hand it over to Josh. He reads through what I wrote the night prior. I watch as his eyebrows scrunch together as reads through each word. Usually I can decipher what his looks mean, we communicated that way for most of our lives. But today, he’s masking them pretty well.

“Seems rather dark, don’t you think?” He asks as he hands it back.

“Needed to clear my head, so I did. I wrote it all out.”

Josh turns ever so slightly on the couch to face me. “Are you okay?”

I nod my head, a smile spreading across my face. His face contorts, matching mine. “I am okay.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “You’re in lo-o-o-ove!” He sings out. I roll my eyes and he laughs. “I’m so happy for you, and I am ecstatic that you’re finally with her. Don’t get me wrong, I thought she and Sam were cute, but–you and Thea have an epic love thing going on.”

“You’re such a dork.” I say, shoving him over.

He laughs and shoves me back. “I really am rooting for the two of you,” He says. “Especially after all you went through.. I want this for you–I want her for you.” He picks up the notebook again and reads over the words written on the page. “Still a bit dark but I think I can make something out of this. We could make it a bit more uplifting with the music side of it.”

“You honestly think we could use it?” I ask.

He nods his head. “I think we can.”

The door to the recording room opens and Sam steps through with Danny. “Woah, you two are here early.” He says. I quickly grab the notebook from Josh and close it before stuffing into my bag.

–

Coming home and parking the car in the driveway, I see Thea’s car parked there too. I breathe a sigh of relief and content before turning off the engine and going inside. She appears in the foyer from the kitchen, a smile spreading across her face. I smile back and stretch out my arms.

Hold me. Please just hold me. I plead within my head.

“How was your day?” She asks as she wraps her arms around my torso.

“It was good, actually..” I say, looking down into her smiling eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah..”

Thea smiles as she reaches up on her tiptoes and presses a kiss to my lips. Soon our kissing turned into a make out right there in the middle of the foyer. My hands roam underneath her shirt, holding tightly to her waist and pulling her in closer to me. Eventually we pulled away breathless, our foreheads pressed together.

“How was your day?” I managed to ask in between breaths.

“Could’ve been better. Sat in a meeting all day going over statistics and how we as a team can improve the company–basically all the boring Corporate America bullshit..”

Letting out a chuckle, I kiss her again. I pull away and bring her into the living room. “I want to let you know that the band has a few shows coming up,” I say as I go over to the drink cart and pour us a couple drinks. Turning back to the couch, I go ahead and sit down beside her where she’s perched on her knees with her elbow propped up on the back of the couch.

“So soon?”

I nod my head, handing her one of the drinks. “Apparently it was scheduled while I was away.”

“Are you ready to jump back into doing shows?”

I shrug my shoulders. “But it’s something I have to do..”

“Yes, but.. You still have a say in it–especially if you’re not ready to go back yet.”

“I know but… I’d be the only one not wanting to do the shows.. I can’t do that to them. Sam and Danny have been itching to get back out there and Josh, try as he might saying that he’s enjoyed the time off from the band, I know he misses it–I can feel it.”

I can see her nod her head in agreement beside as she lifts the glass to her lips to take a drink. “Then if this is going to happen–which it seems that it is, I’ll be there with you, for all of it.” She leans over and kisses my cheek. I feel her open her mouth again but shuts it before pulling it away and taking another drink. I had the urge to ask her, but I knew not to push it so I let the silence linger as we finished our drinks.

It wasn’t until after going through more whiskey and wine that I had her spread out on my bed, begging for me to let her cum. “Jake, please!” She cries, tugging harshly on my hair and clenching her thighs tightly around my head. “I can’t.. Hold it..”

“Yes you can.” I taunt before pulling my tongue. Pulling her knees from around my head, I lean back on my own. Grabbing her legs, I pull her to me, resting her along my lap. My fingers are still wet with her slick so I plunge them back inside of her, rubbing circles into her walls and dragging my fingers in and out.

Her arms fall outwards on either side of her, her hands grabbing fistfuls of the sheets. Her back arches off the bed as her mouth falls open. The most obscene and pornographic moan emits from her mouth as her eyes squeeze shut and her knuckles turn white from tightening her grip.

“Jake!” She cries. “Please!”

Her walls clench around my fingers, signaling her impending orgasm. I think I’ve held her off long enough. “Okay, baby..” I say.

Just as the tidal waves crash against the shore, her orgasm crashes right into her and she’s soaking my hand and the bed sheets.

After cleaning her up, I get her into a warm bath. Her fingers trace lightly over my bare skin. I nuzzle the back of her ear with my nose and kiss her skin.

The thoughts settle back into my brain. The doubts, the wrong feelings. What if she doesn’t love me like I love her? What if she still loves Sam? Does Sam still love her? Am I doing the right thing? Is this right?

What if we rushed into this too fast? There was no first date. There was no me picking her up at her place, knocking on her door and taking her out to dinner. No.. I brought her back to my place and fucked her on my boat. No.. I didn’t fuck her, I made love to her. Passionate love. Love that I have been dying to give her, to shower her with.

Maybe I should do this the right way. Pump the brakes, just a little, and start from the beginning. I should ask to take her out, on a proper date. Buy her flowers and knock on her door. I should take her to a nice place, with a romantic feel to it. And then maybe bring her back here and make love to her.

No, stop it, Jacob. This isn’t about sex. This is about love. Loving her the right way. Loving her with all of me, my heart, my head, not my dick–which seems to be growing impossibly hard from the feeling of her ass pressing against it. Fuck, no.. Not right now.

“Thea?” I find myself blurting out. She hummed in acknowledgement and intertwined our hands together. “I think we need to talk..” I can feel her body tense so I lay a gentle kiss on her shoulder. “It’s nothing bad, I promise..”

“Okay..” She visibly sighs with a shaky breath. “What should we talk about?”

“Us..”

“Of course..”

I inhale and release my breath before continuing with the conversation. “I think we should hit the brakes for a minute,” Once again her body tenses. “I only say that because–and maybe I’m the only one–I think we jumped into this so quickly..”

“What are you saying?” She slowly turned in the tub so her body faced me.

“I would like to ask you out.. On a proper date..” I watch her as she nods her head before I continue. “I want to buy you flowers, and pick you up at your apartment. I want to take you to dinner.”

“So in other words, you want to slow it down just a little and just..date.” I nod my head. I can see the gears rotating in her head before she nods briefly, a small smile appearing on her face. “I would love that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” She says. “But if you’re gonna buy me flowers, they have to be daisies.”

“Daisies, huh?”

“Yes, they’re my favorite.”

“Daisies it is then.”

_______________________________________________________

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