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hajimeshoe · 2 years

Note

overblot squad with an MC/S/O who was done with life the second they entered twisted wonderland.

The no bullshit type who also instigates when in goofy moods. They don't smile often.

Anyone who threatens them... it kinda goes like "give me a reason... I dare you..." and s/o will fuck your life up if you physically harm them.

They have a resting bitch face, and they ALWAYS look angry or annoyed. A lot of people ask if they're upset.

When in contact with overblots, instead of trembling with fear, they act like they just got told to do chores as they started doing chores.

And when they deal with overblots in fights, they genuinely get annoyed when the overblot squad acts like they're the only ones dealing with that kind of stuff. (Literally looked at Jamil and told him he was a slave to people born richer than him just like everyone else)

A realist and pessimist at the same time.

Sleeps way more than Leona, and will not wake up until they feel like living. And their social meter is extremely low.

They eat a lot. Like- a lot. And they will sleep it all off

MBTI is an INTP to give you the rest of the context

Coolio! I'm an ISTP-T, which I found out while trying to figure out different MBTI personality types because I was hella confused. Also, We don't technically know who's overblotting from Diasomnia yet, right??? So I can leave my precious dragon boy out of this, right??? No? Well, it was worth a try *cries in not wanting to think about a Malleus overblot* -Sorry this took so long! I just moved and had no wi-fi until today

OB!Gang with INTP S/O

Riddle

Would honestly be frustrated

"You've broken fifteen of our 810 rules in less than an hour! How DARE you!"

He was apologetic after he overblot and stopped getting on your case for every dorm rule you broke.

No wonder you're friends with Ace and Deuce

Wants you to stop causing fights so badly

Like, why are you either causing fights or sleeping??? Are you secretly related to Leona???

"Wait, you told Jamil WHAT?"

Leona

Bro gets sick of you when you're awake at this point-

Like, he threatened to turn you to sand during his overblot and you just held out your hand with a sarcastic smile-

Honestly, though, he's glad you aren't opposed to his naps or sleep schedule, a lot of the time he'll also be willing to nap with you even if he's already had one

But if Ruggie wake's him up, then he's trying to wake you up too <3

Fairs fair, after all

He doesn't give a fuckk if you instigate fights, he'll watch it in amusement

Azul

You would get along with Floyd so damn well and Azul swears on what little of his sanity is left that you two are never meeting

Both of you would be causing fights together left and right-

He loves you, he does, but- OH FUCK THE TWEELS ARE HERE! Take a nap while he locks you in his office where you three can never meet, yeah?

He's also low-key wondering if you're Leona's secret sibling or something despite the fact that you're magicless

He'll let you sleep in his office when you need to

He also does everything in his power to try to get you to smile and gets a little insecure when he's unsuccessful

Azul just starts to have some self-doubts because "I'm their boyfriend, why can I never make them happy?"

However, cuddles and reassurances can fix this!

He did get a kick out of you looking at Jamil and telling him to get over it

Jamil

Jamil is just glad that you don't need 24/7 supervision

You won't burn down the house trying to cook, you won't somehow accidentally cut your arm off with a spoon and you can be left alone longer than a toddler without anything going to hell?

In this case, he practically considers you perfect with how often he's dealing with Kalim

Also, you were egging him on when he overblotted???

What's wrong with you? You have no magic-

Oh, wow...you won...

"Everyone's a slave to richer people, Jamil, get over it and eat a snickers or some shit!"

Okay, first of all, you're audacity-

Aaaand now he's stuck with you

"Isn't it supposed to be "You kidnapped me, I'm calling the cops?"

"Nope! You kidnapped me, so you clearly want to put up with my bullshit!"

The only actual issues he has is when he has to go drag you out of a fight or get you to stop hyping others into fighting for your entertainment

Then he just hypnotizes you and pulls you away while scolding you like some sort of child

Honestly looked up child leashes on the twst version of Amazon to see if they had a two pack (one for you and one for Kalim)

Vil

"Love, don't start fights, it's not beautiful at all", "My sweet potato, sleeping too much can be bad for your skin!", "SPUD! As much as I love you, if you do not cease this nonsense then so help me-"

All are common phrases from Vil when it comes to you ❤

Just tell me- how did he fall in love with you??? Like, you're a cross between Kingscholar and Epel and he is about ready to pull an evil queen on both of them some days

But he adores you despite your incorrigible habits that he tries to help you break

Don't expect to sleep in when dating Vil, though. Once he decides you've had enough? He's cursing your bed, pillows and blankets

All in the name of love, he swears!

Idia

Idia tries to get you to just stay in his room with him to stop you from getting into fights

He's respectful - lets you sleep for as long as you want

Although he get's a little loud when he plays video games sometimes

Ortho will honestly bother you more about your sleep schedule than him

Malleus

Confused dragon boi <3

He's a sweetheart and is confused as to why you're starting fights "Because it's fun"

Totally did not ask Sebek to accompany you during school hours in order to protect you, keep you awake during lectures, and keep you out of fights- definitely not, how rude of you to accuse him of that

he would never, Malleus is completely innocent!

"Malleus Draconia, I am TRYING to sleep so if you do not get your screaming cucumber from my bedroom then so help me nobody will be able to save his suicidal ass!"

Oh, you're pissed off now

Welp, time for him to go save Sebek from his (surprisingly dangerous) magicless Child of Man

#twst #twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader #vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit x reader #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader

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mywaywardcupcake · 3 months

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Joey for the meme?

I'm so happy I get to talk about my boy so much today!! Thank you for sending this in! Ok this is going to be a long one!

Answers for 3, 5 and 11 are here and answers for 7 and 13 are here

1. What Pokemon would you compare this character to?

Part of me wants to say Charizard and it's mostly because I'm thinking of Ash's Charizard and it's attitude. Also the shiny Charizard is Black and Red, like come on.

2. "McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!" "We have food at home." or *pulls into the drive through as children cheer, orders a single black coffee and leaves* ?

Oh Jou is 100% MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!

4. What movie(s) do you think this character wouldn't be able to stand?

Obviously, scary movies. But, to get into specifics...I think slasher movies he would care for but he would be less unwilling to watch them. I think the ones he absolutely hates to watch and at times flay out refuse would be more haunted house, ghost, demon possession ones. Especially, if they do any of that based on a true story. It would get to him too much. Which considering who his best friend is, this is honestly hilarious to me. "Based on a true story! This girl touched a BOX and got possessed by an ancient demon?!?! What the hell!!! That's terrifying! How is this a true story?! Can you imagine just going to some place and touching a box and suddenly you just wake up covered in blood?!?!" Yugi and Bakura both just stare at him like no, Jou. I could never imagine that.

6. What part of themself might they resent?

He resents who he used to be for awhile. He used to hate himself and the things he has done to others. I think that is something that would tend to bother him a bit. I'm also thinking if he has a record and how it may cause difficulties for jobs in the future and how he may come back to being upset at himself for his past mistakes and gang life. Though, I do think things get better for him and I also think he grows to forgive himself.

8. What character foils / parallels do you find most intriguing from canon regarding this character?

I have always found the character foil/parallel with him and Kaiba to be really interesting. They are put into so many similar situations throughout their lives but their reactions are so different. I could write more here but this one could be an essay honestly.

9. What does this character find inspiring?

His loved ones. He finds Yugi's kindness inspring and Shizuka's bravery. He wants to be a better person because of them.

10. If this character wanted to cheer up someone they cared about, what do you think they'd do?

Thinking specifically of him yelling at Atem in the puzzle to cheer up right now.

Honestly I think it depends on the person and the situation. I think at times he'd do silly things and try to make them smile but, we also have moments when he gives his speeches too. During those he doesn't act silly, many times he's looking directly at them, on their level and talks about how great he thinks they are. How he knows, because he's been there, that even when things looks dark that it'll be ok and it'll get better. We also have moments when hes just there for the person, like with Honda and getting rejected by Miho, and he just offers to get them food and just kind of be there for them. Honestly Jou, when he realizes someone is upset, really tries hard to fix it and seems to be fairly good at it.

12. What's a moment in canon regarding them that you feel is underappreciated?

This one is a little harder because it's one of those things where honestly it's probably more based on maybe not seeing it as much but, I feel like Jou winning against Ghost Kozuka should be appreciated more. That was the first time he was truly on his own, in an absolutely terrifying place for him. I feel like even though he beat Ryuzaki on his own and that was a great moment, beating Kozuka was a huge turning point for him and how he viewed himself and dueling.

14. "Can I copy your homework?" "I'll help you with it!" "Yeah sure" "bold of you to assume i did the homework" "lol nope" "wait we had homework????" or *Read 5:55 PM*

Oh he is definitely "Wait we had homework???" With a little bit of "bold of you to assume I did the homework" because like he knows that it would be honestly hilarious for someone to ask him of all people to copy his homework. He has like 3 jobs and adhd , you really think he's out here doing homework? Much less realizing there is homework. Though, just imagine if one day Anzu is digging through her things and realizes she forgot her homework and Jou just slides a paper over and shrugs like "eh, I never turn it in anyway. Another missed assignment is no big deal." And part of her is so thankful and the other part of her is like....there's not a single correct answer on this paper. Somehow turning this in would be worse than just admitting I forgot it.

#it was so much fun answering all the questions for Jou!!!!#thank you for sending my boy in!#jounouchi katsuya #ask meme #also theres too much up there im not proofreading anything so #apologies in advance for typos or anything else that doesnt make sense

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dokoni-mo · 2 years

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Bestie I just found your master list and I am RUNNING LAPS IN MY ROOM SHRIEKING HOLLERING HOW YOU WRITE VADER??? OH MY GOD??? SO GLAD TO HAVE FOUND SOMEONE WHO SIMPS FOR HIM SO MUCH

Consider,,,, how warm he Is,,, falling asleep next to him on a long hyperspace flight,,,,,, and he doesn't move,,, work with me

BEST FRIEND OH MY GOD IM SHREIKING AND HOLLERING TOO IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY WORKS OF HIM!! Welcome to the simp club lovely i am SO happy you're here FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE THAT LOVES HIM JUST AS MUCH

And oh my god? I will GLADLY work with you here

A lot of people found that jumping to hyperspace was a really scary thing to do, especially if they have never done it before. Luckily for you, however, you've done it enough times to where it's just routine. Honestly, in a way, you found it very comforting. The dull noise of the engines outside coupled with the flashes of blue light outside the windows were an odd refuge for you.

Enough of one, in fact to make you tired. Really, really tired.

It was just as you were starting to nod off when he noticed.

"(Y/N)." Lord Vader had rumbled out, jolting you awake. You shot your gaze up to the Sith Lord sitting next to you, your eyes wide even though they were filled with sleepy haze.

"E-Excuse me, My Lord!" you blundered out, clearing your throat, "I forget myself. I'm sorry."

Lord Vader stiffened his back briefly before responding to you, gazing outside at the stars that zipped by the shuttle.

"You need not apologize, (Y/N)." he said, "I too find myself fatigued on long voyages such as these."

You shot up a smile at him, using your pointer and middle fingers to try and rub the sleep from your eyes as you joined him in looking out on the stars.

"I didn't know the illustrious Lord Vader ever got fatigued."

The dark lord turned his mask back down at your smaller frame without a word, his mechanical breath filling your ears. You were lucky that you and him were alone in the back of that shuttle, or else he would've scolded you. He never minded your "antics", as he put it, but he requested the two of you at least keep some level of professionality when in public together. It was a fair trade; one that didn't get either one of you in trouble.

But that didn't mean you weren't going to have fun with it every now and again.

Despite your best efforts, you stifled out a yawn as you continued to watch the stars outside, the sounds of the engines lulling you back in to your sleepy state. His mask now pointed at your face, Lord Vader was made aware of this, and watched you as you tried to hold back a second yawn in vain.

"You seem fatigued." he spoke eventually, making you smile back up at him.

"Yeah, I am. I didn't sleep much last night because someone wanted their troops rotated before their assignment today."

He let out a low grumble, "It was a necessary precaution."

"Still, it could've waited for the morning, my lord."

The sith fell silent again at this, watching as you stifled back another yawn. He'd never ever admit it, but maybe it was a bit inconsiderate to you that he had done that rotation when he knew you were on duty. Granted, you were the only one he trusted to do it right, but still. Perhaps it was a bit unfair.

Lord Vader was never one for apologies, though. At least, not verbal ones.

Picking up his armor-clad, buff arms, Lord Vader folded them over his chest as he looked back out the window, his mask pointed to the stars.

"Get some rest, (Y/N). We have a long day ahead of us." he said.

Shooting one last small smile up at him, you scooted backwards in your seat, crossing your arms as well as you leaned back and closed your eyes. After a good while of listening to the engines outside and the metronome that is the Sith-next-to-you's breathing, you were gently lulled to sleep. Lord Vader was only made aware of this when you slumped over in your seat, your head now resting on his large, armor-plated, toned shoulder, your side pressed against his. The dark lord was breifly taken aback by the sudden contact, but his shock quickly subsided when he pointed his mask down to you again. Your face was peaceful, the most peaceful he had ever seen you.

And, he had to admit you were quite...

Pretty.

He should have killed you then for such discrepancies. But, he didn't. He couldn't. He wasn't fully conscious of it, but he grew to care for you in the time that he had known you. And, it was him that gave you the order to get some rest. And you were doing just that.

Who was he to wake you?

Lifting up one of his arms, Vader helped his cape go along with it, gently wrapping the heavy cloth around your shoulders as you leaned next to him. After making sure it wouldn't fall off of your sleeping form, Vader turned his attention back to the stars outside, re-crossing his arms in silence.

He wondered if you were cold there next to him. Since he was nearly entirely metal. He hoped that you weren't.

The way you pressed yourself closer against him in your slumber told him that he, in fact, was nothing of the sort.

And he was grateful for that.

#SCREAMING #HOLLERING EVEN #soft vader is like my ultimate guilty pleasure #send me smth about soft vader and i WILL write it #darth vader x reader #star wars x reader #anakin x reader

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mamamittens · 1 month

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I was super wiped today, had a headache, had to take out my ponytail and cosplay a Witch of the Wastes with my bushy ass hair free (coworker legit thought I was a whole different person and I can't blame her. My thick ass hair was actively trying to eat my face), and got minimal work done at home.

As far as the Oh Shit Sale is going, I've got down one sponsorship, I'm tinkering mentally on the second (not confident how I'm going to transition to the next parts ngl), and a pending commission so honestly, not doing too bad. Things are looking up financially outside of the sale so I'm hoping once the slots are filled (or even before!) I can retire it. We'd be pretty clear if we didn't all have debts outside of the house itself but it is what it is I suppose.

Anyway! Sleepy ramble time! Back at it with Nikia and the Bois!

So, yesterday I had some fun thoughts about how things would fall into place and it's into slightly hindered by my relative lack of knowledge for Izou. I do feel my vibe check of "can be in charge, would rather not unless shenanigans" is accurate. He just wants to vibe to his own thing.

And I've considered Thatch pretty well by this point. Strikes me as a bit of a poon hound tbh, which is an interesting thought if I'm going with Thatch/Izou ship. At the very least Thatch is fully capable of being a perv if his idea of a 'perfect devil fruit' is the clear clear fruit for exactly the reason most middle school boys want invisibility... And the current holder for that matter.

Considering who Izou was a retainer for, IE a man who whored around so hard a literal war started apparently, then he likely isn't that upright about strict monogamy. There are definitely boundaries he'll have (if my understanding of harems are clear, he'd likely have a rule about protection/no babies, cause that's main baddy privileges and Izou isn't a side hoe) but I haven't decided how far that goes. At the very least he probably entertains side lovers and Thatch testing the waters for a more included lover.

But between the two of them, Izou is probably the more sensible one. He's the one to draw lines and pull Thatch back into reality when he goes swooning on a tangent. That's not to say he's immune to flights of fancy or bad decisions, he's just less likely have issues like Thatch does.

So he's not surprised when Thatch sees a pretty woman for all of five seconds and starts to pursue her. He IS entertained by how basically feral she is, only barely holding onto her hosting duties while Thatch flits about. Only to wind up in nearly the same position as she accommodates him awkwardly but sincerely.

She's not good with people, borderline burnt out from Thatch being ridiculous, and would clearly rather curl up and sleep for a week. But she still goes out of her way to ensure Izou is comfortable and gives them privacy with plenty of warning about free time. Casually mentioning where the laundry room is so they can clean up after themselves.

Okay, so he thinks it's fucking hilarious Thatch's would-be-lover is doing her best to wingman, but the gestures are still quite sweet for someone Izou just knows wants them gone already. Also a bit of a pushover, so he worries a little about her managing the cabin with so many possible creeps out there. (Izou is far from a hero but what man doesn't like showing how capable he is? Thatch is definitely worse about it though).

Izou falls after countless conversations and many sweet, loving gestures. Thatch is enchanted at first sight and just keeps finding reasons he was right to trust his gut.

Nikia, though not showing it very well, loves having amicable company. Envying their relationship together but ultimately happy they're happy. She realizes she's in love when she notices how happy their calls make her. Proof they still think of her. And then she quietly tucks it away, refusing to ruin their dynamic because she doesn't know what else to do with a crush--having not really bothered with that before. (Her 'ignorance' is only mostly genuine. the rest is a concerted effort to not read into their interactions with her, even though Thatch is barely a step away from serenading her if it means getting his point across. Thankfully he's stabbed before that happens or she would have died from embarrassment).

#mittens rambles #one piece oc #nikia op oc

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ciaossu-imagines · 4 months

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Truly. And thank you so much. Well, considering the series does make me happy (including a certain someone), I feel like I will probably be happy while reading it and true. We got hints of angst in the anime and I feel like they’ll undoubtedly be explored more.

Sure thing. And do. It’s good so definitely check it out when you have the chance. I see and I understand. My friend sent me some manga panels of the slightly darker moments and I feel like it would have been difficult to animate. Though I have heard that they’re making another season, that’s coming out this April, so it’ll be interesting to see how that goes. Yeah. The second season is pretty much entirely anime-only and Alois and Claude do not exist in the manga universe. But the third season is based on the manga again so then the anime series becomes good again. Me too. Like I was already excited to hear about him voicing Grelle and then Lawless’s VA also appeared later on so that’s just great. But at some point Grelle did sing and I could connect the voice to Yata’s moment in Requiem of Red.

Don’t worry. That will never happen to me. I look forward to reading long texts from my friends. And mine are as well so it’s totally fine. Thank you. I sent out the replies slightly earlier today since I finally got everything typed out. And looking forward to seeing all of your post stuff. That’s really nice to hear 😊

Thank you. We’ll see since honestly, even though I am looking forward to everything, there are still many chapters to read but I do hope to read more of it because I feel like Servamp has become a new love of mine. Thank you. I’ve given you my essay and hope that it’s all clear enough since it was a ramble but it was the only way I knew how to do it. It’s nothing. Some bits were a bit more difficult to come up with than others but all in all, didn’t take extremely long. Only time will tell with that one. But either way, I am looking forward to learning more about him and of course seeing more of Lawless (and him). But yeah, every interaction is important so they will be interesting to see.

I see. That is a real shame and sounds like it would be horrible in some cases. I see. A part of me figured that after I initially read your message but it’s so horrible that they’ll still fight you, especially if the frames are super expensive. But I am glad that there is an optometrist around that you can go to, even if it does take ages. Yeah. I can imagine that. Like overall, I have pretty okay eyesight since I don’t wear my glasses during the day in the house but I feel like I’d also definitely struggle with reading the subtitles unless I was sitting right in front of the TV. And it’s great that it has great sound quality 😃 And fair enough. Best to use things util you entirely can’t anymore.

I see and that does make sense then. Glad to hear that you also love that song 😄 And wow, that’s a lot of songs. I have a playlist of slightly more than 70 songs that I listen to while posting on AO3 or doing something with my hands that’s routine but I also sometimes listen to songs that aren’t on the playlist while I’m on my computer, doing other stuff. True. I rewatched some Naruto episodes some time ago and just went straight for the dub, not even considering the sub since I knew it was good. Sure thing 💕

I'm so glad the series makes you happy and I'm looking forward to talking to you more about it, both through anything you wanna send through the inbox and in our messages through dm's (which I am hoping to get off one more within the next week or so before I go temporarily AWOL to write commissions/passion projects). And I will say they definitely do explore more of everything touched upon in the anime within the manga. Manga often gives more space and time to really flesh out events and characters and development, just because the pacing can be a little more relaxed and it's one of the things about that medium that I really love.

I will check it out when I get the chance and thanks again for letting me know about it. And I do feel the art style of Black Butler, though ungodly beautiful at points, is something that definitely would be hard to animate and still keep looking exactly that way. And I hope you'll enjoy the new season when it comes out. I have been told by another friend that some of the specials are really fun to watch, but it's definitely worth it to devote my time to catching up manga-wise if I feel like getting back into Black Butler, so I might just bump that up the to-read list a little, especially since I've been a little spoiled in that I'm told there's some really interesting things going on now with Undertaker and that was a character I had really loved and found intriguing. I couldn't name a single one of the voice actors from shows I like without googling the characters I first heard them as, so again, just you and the people like you, who can hear those characters all in the voices and know voice actors work definitely make me flabbergasted, in the best of ways, and make me really happy for these artists getting the recognition and love that deserves.

Aww, thank you so much for saying that. That's very reassuring to hear because yeah, when I get talking, I don't shut up and I have been told by friends in real life that getting texts from me can feel a little bit like a bombardment but I'm always just so excited to talk to interesting people and discuss things and share my thoughts. Plus, I adore long replies and walls of text from people, because it shows excitement and enjoyment of the conversation, so long replies never both me either, so you're cool that way. And I have the replies but haven't really taken the time to fully read everything, just in trying to work away at stuff as quickly as possible. And thank you for looking forward to it and I hope I won't disappoint. I will take this point to say, if everything goes well, I'm ahead of schedule enough that I should be able to completely clear the inbox and draft folders and reply to dm's before I take my sabbatical to write that commission and a couple things I've been pining after time to write, like The Ever Young, the delinquent! Shouhei fic, and a couple AO3 planned fanfics. I have two AU posts, two match-up requests, two regular headcanon requests, three drabble/fic requests, and this and another chattering reply to do so really, I'm down to under 10 actual replies to write.

I have never done this in the blog history but am taking the opportunity to ask that nobody send anything new, even chattering, to my inbox. Despite me closing it, I have been getting new requests. I kept one but deleted three. I really need a little bit of radio silence, just for a week or so, so I can really buckle down and write these posts without my focus getting distracted or me feeling like things just keep being added to the 'to-write' pile, please and thank you.

You're very welcome. And I love that it's become a new love of yours and honestly, in my opinion, you're getting through it at a really good rate. And for anyone wondering, and because I did see your dm asking this question, I am not caught up fully on Servamp, I lost the time to really read it shortly after Niccolo was introduced, so no spoilers please past that point. And your essay was both lovely to read and clearly written, as are most of your fandom thoughts! You know I do enjoy hearing them. And thank you again for doing that for me. I have read through all that and it's perfect and just what I had been hoping for and I will make good use out of it!

And it is a shame, because good quality health care should be a basic human right to me, but at the same time, I have to remember to see the positives in it all. And I don't agree with fighting any patient for their prescription, as it's actually legally a right for the patient to know and you actually hit the nail on the head - Vogue Optical frames can range from $200-$400, after my lens prescription is added in there, as I have absolutely horrific eyesight and already wear bifocals at my age. So, not even ashamed to admit that I am a little jealous of people who don't need to wear glasses all the time and terribly jealous of people who don't need to wear them at all because I've been wearing glasses since pre-K haha.

I love music, and I only switched to a digital library because I ran out of space. I still have, in storage, a shit ton of CD's (both burnt and bought) and cassette tapes, plus a couple vinyl records. Music is a pretty constant for me, that or podcasts, way more than I would say television is and every time I sit down to write, I normally make an hour or two long playlist to listen to while writing so I get having a playlist for when you're posting on AO3. Heck, even the shortest of my drabbles on here have at least a 3-4 song playlist I listened to while writing them, and some of my AU's have a 20 song playlist I listened to on loop while thinking them out and writing them. Also, always up for song recommendations, in case anyone has some, just putting that hint out in the universe for ya'll to drop them in my dm's.

#admin chatter

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shizuokadivision · 1 year

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ARB Birthday Special: Sakura Kito

~~ May 31st ~~

“I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.”

“I’m not in the mood for any interruptions right now. I’m swamped, so either say what you want to say or get out.”

“A.. gift? …My birthday is today, isn't it? I had forgotten all about it. Thanks for reminding me.”

Voice Lines:

“Birthdays huh? Can't say I ever really celebrated mine growing up. My bitch of a stepmother would've thrown a fit if she learned that we were celebrating the day of my birth. I was after all a living reminder of her husband’s affair.”

“My men really do need to learn the meaning of the word secrecy. I just caught a few of them whispering to each other about the party they're throwing me tonight. I guess it's the thought that counts. Now I just have to pretend I didn't know what they had planned when they surprise me.”

“Well, I guess I'm not getting any more work done today. I'm already receiving gifts from various emissaries from the other yakuza families around Japan. I would say that I'm pleased to get them, but we all know they're just political appeasements at best.”

“The Katen even managed to send me something as well. It was a crate of some of the finest sake in Yokohama. He even made Aohitsugi deliver it. Ha! The look on his face was one I’ll forever savor.”

“I’m surprised you got me something, Kanon, no offense, but considering your views on festivities, it's not much of a stretch to assume you'd do nothing. Huh…that's surprisingly nice of you, Kanon, I’m not going to attempt to answer that, but I guess I should be more grateful. What did you get me then?”

“The Nozama Family? What about them? A visit? What do you mean no longer a problem? Kanon, what did you do!? I’m sorry?! Kanon, that is biological warfare! You can’t do that! Why? That goes beyond breaking a simple law! You just committed a straight-up war crime! At least tell me the zombie apocalypse isn't going to start soon. *stares* Kanon…this is why I always assume the worst of you.”

“Hello to you too, Reika. I assume you're here to give me a gift. *snorts* I guess I should count myself lucky then. Oi! We’re the same age, Reika. Hell, you’re going to turn thirty before me. The only reason I'm going to go gray early is because of all the stress you and Kanon give me.”

“Honestly, Reika you didn't need to get me a gift, you really didn’t…need...what the fuck!? A fucking arrest warrant?! Fucking really, Reika? I swear to god Reika, you're lucky I consider you one of my closest friends because if anyone else tried that shit there would be hell to pay. What the fuck do you mean poisoning me?! ...I fucking can't with you right now Reika.”

“Shinji? How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to call me ma’am? *sighs* Kanon and Reika gave me their gifts and what a…surprise they were. For you? I always have a moment. You didn’t have to Shinji not after everything you did for me growing up. Okay…only because it's from you Shinji.”

“Shinji isn't this…your mother's necklace? …Daughter? Shinji…I have always thought of you as a father. I…you don't know how much your words mean to me and I am honored that you're willing to give me something as precious as your mother’s necklace. Thank you…Dad.”

Kanon Lines:

“Happy Birthday, Sakura. Congratulations on surviving another year. Hm? Oh yes. That's a valid hypothesis but you forget one thing you're one of the few people I will participate in these odious celebrations for. Why do you and Reika always assume the worst of me?”

“Now as for your gift, I'm sure you remember complaining about that yakuza family down in Hamamatsu. So I’ve taken the liberty of going down and paying them a little visit. I’m pleased to let you know that they will no longer be a problem. All I did was release a parasitic flesh-eating bacteria that I’d been cultivating for a while. It still needs work as it took a full 30 minutes for all the inhabitants to die. *raises eyebrow* Why not? What do you take me for Sakura? An idiot? I took the initiative by setting the entire base and surrounding land on fire to prevent the bacteria from spreading beyond what was necessary.”

Reika Lines:

“Happy Birthday to the big bad boss herself! Well, duh! Do you really think I wouldn't give one of my dearest friends a gift for her birthday? Besides another year, and you’ll be thirty. Maybe so, but unlike you, I take much better care of my appearance, and besides, out of the two of us, who's more likely to have our hair turn gray first? Anyways, here's your present.”

“Ha! Payback’s a bitch, isn't it? I told you I would get you back! How does it feel, hm? You’ll think twice before giving someone a prank for their birthday now, won't you? Hahaha! Oh quit being a bitch about it. In fact, I let you off lightly. My original plan had me poisoning you. Not enough to kill you, obviously, just enough to make you mildly ill. Love you too, Sakura.”

Bonus! Shinji Lines:

“Ma’am? *laughs* Forgive me then, Saki-chan. Hm? You look quite apprehensive. Ah yes, I heard their gifts were ‘unique’. Is this an inconvenient time for you then? I know that you have grown tired of gifts today but I got you something for your birthday, so I hope you’ll accept it. I wanted to, Saki-chan.”

“It is. She gave it to me before she passed and told me to pass it on to any daughter I might have. Sakura, we may not be related by blood, but I consider you to be my daughter. You have been ever since you came up to me all those years ago and asked me to teach you how to fire a gun. So, it's only right I give you this. Happy birthday, Saki-chan.”

#hypnosis microphone #hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic oc #shizuoka division #silent tragedy #sakura kito #kanon hojo #reika aichi #shinji aoki #happy birthday sakura 2023 #alternative rap battle #arb

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marshmallowprotection · 1 year

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Okay so SKDHAJDHWH I read the fic with the cowboy Saeyoung and AJDHAHDHEH

I'M GONNA PUNCH THE AIR AGGRESSIVELY FOR HOURS NOW, IT WAS SO ANAHDHQHDHAHDH

AND THE ENDING?? THE ENDING??????? MY SOUL LEFT MY BODY HAAAAAAAAAA I CAN'T EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LIKED IT-

Cowboy Saeyoung has my soul goodbye AHAHAHAHAH- I can't believe I love Saeyoung this much AJDJWHSH

I'm currently reading the one where Saeyoung is a demon and Saeran is an angel and I really like how it's going so far! Your writing is really good and it has me so hooked istg-

Don't get me started on Iris, that one was so AKDJAJDHAHDHAHDHAHFUAJDJWJDAJS I READ IT TO SEE HOW IT WAS AND THE WRITING GOT ME HOOKED AHSHHASH

KAIT YOU ARE AMAZING AABSHWHDHHQ

Oh, I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed reading Andromeda. That story was definitely a labor of love and a lot of care went into figuring out the best way to invoke his personality in a way that hadn't been done before. It's fun to work with Saeyoung, honestly. The way that he loves others is tentative but intense at the same time. He might play things off for a laugh but what he feels deep down inside is passionate and unwavering.

That's why he's willing to own up to his mistakes when he meets you again after spending months apart. He knows that nothing can make up for his mistakes, but he wants to make it right. He did promise you he'd make it right. That means handing you a bag of taffy and smiling even though he knows you want to hold a sword to his throat and see him beg for forgiveness.

He didn't mean to leave you that way. But in a world where he promised to protect his brother first, he had to make that right before he could come back to you and see if he could break the chain that keep you shackled to that ship. It's just tough when you consider he's living in a world where it's not easy to travel.

It’s the 1890s, and it takes months to get left from right. If you see someone leave, it might be for the last time. As complicated as it was, he's your cowboy and he hopes you can be his pirate captain. That story always makes me smile no matter how far away I am from writing it the first time. If you want to look at him and all his glory as a cowboy, [look no further than here.]

Never hesitate to ask me questions about him. I will always answer cowboy questions.

Gardenia, et tu Polaris is a labor of love, too.

That's a story where you have to deal with the boys being separated by a divide that can't even be put into words. It's hard to imagine the twins being ripped apart the way that they are in that story, but it plays out that way because they have no choice. Saeran has a gentle heart and Saeyoung… no, Luciel is more than willing to do whatever it takes to protect that heart. Even if it means he has to face damnation for all eternity. As long as he knows that the brother that was created with him gets to experience what heaven is made for.

I hope you can see yourself as the stubborn Angel who aligns themselves with the belief that everybody is worth saving. Even if they're a little too lawful for their own good. Being able to write reader-insert stories is always a challenge because the reader has to have a little flavor to them but still be relatable to you. I'm just happy to hear that it resonates. I hope to hear your excitement when you get closer to the end of that story.

Iris is my love letter to SE Saeran, though.

That story in particular means a lot to me because even after all these years of being with him, there's something about him that still sits with me deep inside my heart. Because his character means so much to me and having a reflection of him that can find some semblance of inner peace makes things feel like they’ve come full circle. If it wasn't for him, I don't think I'd be where I am today.

That's why when I think of my story, Iris, I don't just think of how far he's come as a character to me, I think of how far I've come as a person. SE Saeran is… complex. His character is hard for people to pin down and yet, he remains one of my favorites. Even if you hit rock bottom, it's not over. Sometimes you just need a reminder. I'm happy you enjoyed it as a Saeyoung lover who wanted to know what sort of story you'd find.

Writing is my passion. It makes me happy to know that something that I can create with my hands makes somebody feel a little bit better. My stories aren't just a journey for the characters I write about, I know they mean something not just to me but to the people who decide to click the link and see what it's all about. Knowing that people want to read more than just one of my stories humbles me in a way that's hard to explain. I'm happy just knowing that one person enjoyed one of my stories, but it warms my heart to know that people have enjoyed more than just one of them.

Anyway, I appreciate your key smashing. I don't care if people have a poetic response to my stories when they read them or if they just want to smash a couple of keys. They both make me smile.

#ask #stormflypirateskin #mod kait #kait validation hours?#long post #cereus #iris #gardenia et tu polaris #mystic messenger #it makes me wish I could draw these characters #I write better than I can draw lol #but i pray my words are descriptive enough to help you envision yourself in a sea of saeyoung glory

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sunlit-tickles · 1 year

Text

Token of Joy

Wataru / Eichi

Ensemble Stars

Summary: Eichi has been bothered that Wataru seems to always know how to make him happy and entertain him and wants to repay him back the same way, but he isn't exactly sure how to.

---☀️

Wataru is a...very unique fellow. He's such a natural entertainer that he can immediately get people in the room to follow and match his energy, or cheer them up quite quickly no matter who it is. At the same time, he's also cunning and mysterious as a person himself, amazing range of one person. Well, that's what Eichi thought of him. Today it seemed like he couldn't get the thought of Wataru out of his head, he caught his eye in the best way and for some reason he couldn't forget it. He was so good at making people laugh, including himself and he always felt happy around him. But he had a small thought: did anyone else make Wataru smile the way he did to others...? He didn't think so since he always had a smile plastered on his face so he didn't know if there's anyone that can change his mind.

Eichi sighed and drank the water on his bed-side and kept wondering that stupid idea. Was it stupid? Not really, he had good intentions this time, it's just that it felt weird to think about it. He was so caught up in thinking that he didn't notice that a certain blue-haired magician had snuck in and had a big smile on his face as he sat there by the window. "EICH-" "GYAH-!" The blonde jumped as he didn't expect him by the window "You scared me--!" "How are you not used to me by now?" Wataru chuckled as he entered the hospital room and sat down beside him "You know I visit everytime you're here. You should know me by know." He said, pinching Eichi's cheek. He sighed and then gazed at him softly "well, that's my fault for letting my guard down."

The blue haired man stared at him for a while as the other seemed to return to this...state. He was lost in his own thoughts, how peculiar. He always was but right now...? That seems odd. "Hm? You seem to be thinking about something. Anything on your mind?" He asks, fixing his position on the bed while Eichi just looked at him with a blank expression "Mm...sort of. It's something you might find odd though, which says quite alot considering you yourself are very..." "Odd?" "Well, I guess so." They both giggled before curiosity got over Wataru again "So what were you thinking about anyway?" "Just...a small question. Has anyone ever made you happy...?" Honestly, that was...no small question. "Of course! But that's a deep question isn't it? Anything in particular happened?" A pause before Eichi spoke again "well, nothing really. I'm just curious since you did develop yourself to entertain others to make them smile. Though I'm not sure if someone else did the same for you." That was... surprisingly such a cute and wholesome realization. He was so used to Eichi's weird and unique way of viewing things that he was just taken aback by this that it took him a few moments before he could even respond.

"Aww~! You're thinking about me-? Wataru-? That's so sweet I'm almost melting from it!" He teased, making the other chuckle "I'm always thinking about you. It's just this one hasn't particularly left my mind." Oh. He was being so genuine that it left him speechless. He cleared his throat and tried to hide the blush that grew on his face from Eichi's words, pretending that he was fine and not taken by surprise. "A-hem...! Alright then! So what can I do now to satisfy you?" Wataru teased again, bowing and twirling his hands as a joke, pretending to be a courting prince. The blonde put his finger on his chin, pretending to think "hm...what's a good way to make you laugh?" He hummed and kept tapping his finger "how about that one method you usually use on me?" Usually...? Which one...? He was so confused since he's done so much things to entertain and make Eichi smile. Which trick was it? He's done so many of them, that was pretty hard to tell.

Wataru's expression was so serious for once, was he genuinely thinking this hard about it...? That's such a new face he's never seen before! Eichi found it so entertaining since he was mainly teasing, but that face is so rewarding. Even if he did love Wataru's confused face, he really didn't want to waste time and decided to help him realize what he meant. At first, he walked his fingers up his sides gently, but it only seemed to make the blue haired one stare at it with great curiosity but not much of a reaction. Well, that was his own doing. The moment his fingers reached just below his ribs, the immediately let go of his sides and used one hand to skitter his ribs quick enough to make it tickle, but not enough to actually make him laugh, just startle him. "A-AH!?" Wataru twitched and his eyes grew wide, he was never one to lose his cool but honestly this is one of those things he was never prepared for. It's not that it was a bad thing, it's just one of those things that were unexpected. Eichi never fails to surprise him.

"Well? Does that ring a bell?" Again! He left him speechless! He always knew Eichi was cunning and found ways to get what he wants and he usually complies, but this...? How exactly does one deal with...this? "Wataru?" Oh he blanked out for a moment "Yes??!" "Ahaha! Did I surprise you somehow? I'm sorry. I was mainly having fun with you, but you don't seem on board with me." This was one of his tricks but...Eichi's intentions were just ...pure this time, I don't think he can necessarily reject that. With just a bit of hesitation, Wataru gently moved Eichi a bit to the side to make room for him on his bed, and then laid down beside him. "Anything to satisfy you!" He says with a smile, however despite it being bright he was so nervous about this! He was usually never on the receiving end so this felt new, but whatever to please him so! He could definitely turn this down but, it was in his nature to entertain those around him.

"Wait, you're actually agreeing to this?" To his surprise, yes Wataru was actually on board with him. He really expected him to retaliate and turn the tables than just...this? "You asked for it didn't you? Why are you so hesitant now?" Wataru asked trying to somehow tease him back to hopefully regain some of his flare but, yeah that's hot happening. Eichi did not hesitate at all! He shifted their positions a bit so he sat on his waist and he shoved his hands in his armpits immediately, making Wataru clamp is arms down "AHAHAH!?" He shifted side-to-side, trying to not kick his legs out since the hospital bed was a bit tight and he could risk hurting his friend. "You know Wataru, this is one of those few moments I've seen you lose your composure. Are you actually embarrassed by this?" That tone...! Eichi was trying to sound genuine but Wataru can hear the faint tease in his voice "Eihihichi...!" "What? I'm just asking. Are you too embarrassed to answer?" "Stohohop that!" "Oh this is interesting~" he wasn't even hiding it anymore! He was partially regretting letting him do this but his intentions were clear...how conflicting!

Oh it was getting worse...! He got even bolder and sat on Wataru's waist, fully trapping him now. He took his hands out of his armpits and dug on his hips "wAHAHAIT! EHEHEICHIHIHI-! YOHOHOU'RE SO CRUHUEHUEL!" "Well, you commented that I was hesitant. Now that I'm not, are you regretting it?" There was no answer, the magician just kept laughing his head off, opting to hold onto Eichi's wrists instead since the tickling made him so weak! That didn't seem to help though as even if he knew where he was moving, it still tickled so much from anticipation "WAHAHAHA NOHOHOHO-!! NOT THEHEHERE!" "Your stomach? It seems that you're weak to alot of spots, Wataru." And just like that Eichi then lifted his shirt and started to skitter his nails directly on his stomach, no protection from his shirt or anything. "NONONONOHOHO-! EIHIHICHI!" "You said I could! I also didn't expect you to be this sensitive, I like this side of you Wataru." He was teasing him so badly that Wataru, the one who was usually cool and composed and the one who was often at higher ground in terms of teasing, was reduced to a blushing mess that couldn't do anything but laugh and squirm.

Soon, those fingers wandered off to his ribs, pressing them down and he couldn't keep his hands on Eichi's wrists and clamped his arms down again "HEHEHEY-! YOHOHOU'RE HAVING TOO MUHUCH FUHUHN-!! EHEHEICHIHIHI-!!" He screamed and threw his head back. He always tickled him but never the other way around cause he was too ticklish for his own good, and this was definitely killing him. He can't handle much anymore and thank god Eichi picked up on it and paused for a moment "okay, don't kill me. I want to try something before I finish, it'll only be short I promise." "y-yohohou already killed mehehe...! Ihim tihihireHEHED WAH-! ACK-- WAHAHAIT-WAHAHHAHAIT-!!! STOHOHOP NONO-WAHAH-!! EIHICHI PLEHEHEASE!" Wataru tried to suck his stomach but Eichi lifted his shirt and blew a big raspberry in the middle of his belly button "That's your best reaction so far! I'll go for one more and that's it~" "NOOHohohoho-!! Ehehenohohough!! I- cAHAHAN'T -!! EEEK- EHEHEHEHEEEE!!" The room was filled with so much squeals and squeaks, the bed was so loud from how much squirming was happening and it was already messy. Wataru was red as a tomato and his hair was so disheveled that it was tangled in tiny little knots everywhere. Tears trickled down his face as he pounded his fists on his sides and his legs kicked out as much as he could. His eyes were sealed shut and his mouth was hurting from smiling so widely. What a sight to see this side of him, it was truly precious.

Eichi stopped, rubbing his tummy to get rid of the remaining tingles but accidentally just tickled him more. He put his shirt down and smiled down at the giggly wreck underneath him "Thank you. That was...an experience. I want to do it more in the future." Again!? Wataru opened his eyes slowly, blurry and messy as he sat up, panting and hugging his stomach "yohou're ruthless...! Noho more!" "I'm not tickling you anymore!" "You said you wanted to do it again!" "Well not now, I just want to see his side of you more often." Well, he got even redder and covered his face, fully accepting the fact he fully lost his cool. The rest of the visit was just Wataru trying to regain his flare but they were both satisfied with what happened. It ended up being a longer visit as he stayed there for hours as they both took a nap out of exhaustion.

A/N: Hello Hello! Happy New Year Everyone! I hope y'all had an exciting holiday!!! Actually I just got back from a big break and I'm a bit tired now. Though I hope this is enough to the anon who requested it, and anon I hope you have fun reading this!!

Lee!Wataru is such a cute concept tbh...

#ensemble stars tickle #enstars tickle #enstarstickle #tickle #ensemblestarstickle #tickleblog #tickle fic #tickling #Wataru #Eichi

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draiochteve · 10 months

Text

A continuation of my new step in life

I know I've been scarce, but I've been so busy I just haven't taken the time to drown myself on socials like I use to.

It's been almost a week since he landed and my world has changed so much. My parents are upset he didn't stay with us longer and wanted to rush to the apartment, but as stated before he can only handle them for so long. He's settle in and despite being homesick and having his frustrations (it is a culture shock for sure) he is adjusting well. All of his things arrived and we are slowly filling up the apartment with our lives.

I've spent nearly every day with him, only coming home when my family demands which is at night. Why the fuck they thing preventing me from spending the night will stop us from fucking is beyond me and my uncle also finds it ridiculous, but he's at least helping protect us and giving us plenty of time alone before my shifts. I've honestly really considered walking over to the courthouse and just getting shit done to avoid having to come home again, but I know that will cause more issues than solve problems rn.

I've gotten to play more of FFXVI and I'm just falling in love with new inspirations again. We can watch whatever movies and shows we want pretty openly without fear of someone barging in. I get the joy of finishing work and easily walking over to our apartment to settle into his arms and relax. We are as content in doing our own things as we are snuggling on the couch. It's very peaceful and it makes me mourn how long it's taken to get to this point.

As embarrassing as this is to admit (and this is pretty traumatizing I will warn), I am a touch starved person. I am in the situation where upon developing enough in my AFAB body around 13, all the men in the family (which is most of everyone in the house) were ordered to no longer touch me. It's a long conversation about how easily sexualized I was and considered a temptation to even my own brothers 8+ years older than me, and there is an even longer conversation to be had about how fucking common this is in evangelical households, but I have not the energy.

That background, however, has always left me in an odd spot with intimacy and relationships. I am easily overwhelmed yet crave the physical. I've never been able to find a happy medium in past relationships and this one was hard for me to prepare for as we've been dominantly long distance for so long. I knew when we were together that I felt more comfortable than with anyone else, but with what fleeting time we had there is no proper judge of how that will be in the long term. But this...there is a balance I've needed all this time I finally have. Dalton is patient and attentive. He is understanding and we compliment each other well. Maybe it's just because we are two traumatized, anxious people that it just ends up working out idk. But whatever it is, it's working.

To top it off, we've done so much exploring around town it's amazing. Something that's always fucking bothered me is my family sheltered me terribly after I was born and seemingly forgot they did so. Where my brothers grew up walking around the town I will be living in, I never did. My biggest outings were shopping or when my old friends would sneak me out way outside of the range my parents agreed to. This means I know next to nothing about the town I will be living in despite living not so far away from it and my parents have a habit of looking at me shocked when I say I never have been to that local drug store or the coffee shop around the corner. It's because I haven't because I was rarely if ever able to. They did it a million times growing up and just lost touch I suppose.

But today, I got to finally have those firsts. We walked 2-3 miles today. I found paths and walkways I've never seen before. Explored stores I never knew existed. Got to see so much that always been right here yet I never got to see. To Dalton it was a pretty boring walk to get his general bearings around town, to me it was an adventure. And he realized as much really fast and ended up walking way more than he really wanted to just so I could get a better taste of what freedom will be. I have blisters, but each one was worth it. And soon, I'll be able to walk these ways on my own. Why aren't I already you may be asking? Because I can't risk family or my father driving to a customer seeing me alone because I am not allowed to walk anywhere in town alone (I've done it a couple times secretly but they were brief and I more or less jogged to get where I wanted and back before I was missed). I can only have that should my husband decide it's okay and unfortunately Dalton is not yet. The entire situation really pisses him off and I know how frustrated he is by it, but I appreciate him deeply taking the time to navigate that and spend a day wasting time exploring.

September 30th and these stupid fucking games will be over with. September 30th and I am released from a fucking life I never asked for.

So why am I typing all of this here? To document it I suppose. To scream out to the world this is happening and did happen. This is where I am right now -- on the cusp of what should have been mine a long time ago.

I'm sorry fic updates are not coming, but I need this release and relief. I feel like I'm finally living. And while I will eventually return to my keyboard and phone, that is not what I am to do right now. I've spent most of my life escaping in my head. Now, I don't necessarily have to. So, I thank everyone again for the patience with me. And I thank everyone for their well wishes last update. I'm sorry I startled/disturbed some with the details of my life. I haven't been too secretive, but they've been said in places easy to miss or lose. This is a little more solid.

I've been in a fucked up place for so long. I've been suffering for so long and not rocking the boat for my own safety. It has to be known because this is a part of me even if it's one I am finally moving passed.

It's finally happening.

#drai rambles #personal

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bi-sapphics · 2 years

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I just wanna say thank you so much for openly talking about bisexual history with the terms butch and femme. I’ve been struggling for a while about using the term butch for myself and even if I’m not in a place right now where I feel safe or valid enough to use it, seeing other bisexual butches wearing the label proudly makes my heart warm. Your work on here is very appreciated and you are an wonderful person <3

As a question, how did you grow comfortable with calling yourself butch in the face of erasure and biphobia?

thank you for the kind ask and you're welcome!! i feel like it's my duty as a butch to protect and serve my community as best as i possibly can ─ after all, what's the point of participating in the culture if you won't play your designated part (regarding sapphic roles & relationships at least, since there are other options/reasons for identifying)?? leading and helping others is what being butch and femme is all about!! historically, back when queer life was extremely dangerous an unaccepted in the united states, butches would always protect femmes and femmes would always (emotionally or otherwise) support butches. of course, the culture isn't limited to that and never was, having strict rules/roles would defeat the point, but it is a widely honored tradition even today. i do post for myself, but i’m also really glad you like my content and excited that i get to educate you a little more, as bi + B/F history and culture is a special interest of mine. :)

i really hope one day soon you can feel safe and open about your butch identity, as i'm sure that's when you'll feel the most free and happy you possibly ever could, but what matters right now is that you have the pride in knowing you connect with other butches and wish to be one of us/them. i would say in a different way i can relate to you ─ i'm not closeted by any means, both online and irl, but i certainly don't "look butch" yet and still have to work on physically getting there, such as shopping for more masc clothes while waiting for my haircut and whatnot. i only feel comfortable considering myself butch for the moment because socially i've already got a masc name & pronouns, and my sense of gender qualifies for the term. it's the best i can do, especially considering i'm still single and not dating a femme right now lmao. point is, nothing's stopping you from knowing who you are and where you want to be, even if there are currently obstacles directly in the way. i hope maybe that's even slightly more comforting to you??

anyway, all of this text and i still haven't answered your question in full. for that, i'd love to mention and lead you over to @femmebis if you aren't already familiar with them!! her historical essay advocating for bisexual usage of butch & femme, as well as all the positivity for us on her blog, is what familiarized me to ballroom culture in a way i could effectively understand and allowed me to feel like it was for me and i wasn't taking anything that wasn't mine. they gave me a sense of belonging and gradually helped me feel comfortable with myself and my own sense of masculinity. honestly, i would say it's this sort of cycle that calls for awakenings like that one i had. we learn from other (and probably older) butches & femmes what it's like to be one of them, and they inspire us to continue the legacy as we see fit. it's part of the tradition across generations and it's what keeps our history alive and well. for that reason, it makes me feel really good that i've inspired you myself and lets me believe that i've already done my part, if only on a miniscule level. 🫶💛

#chase answers #butch/femme #butch/femme history #butch tag #bi tag #butch bi #butch bisexual #femme bi #femme bisexual #bi history #femmebis

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pbandjesse · 1 year

Text

Happy New Year's Eve! It was very grey today but I don't think that ruin the ringing in of the new year. Honestly all the fog today in made me think back to when we worked at ships and how loud the parrot riffle was on foggy days. I hope the fireworks tonight are extra loud.

It was kind of a sleepy day for me. I have a little bit of anxiety right now on my stomach. But it's not for any real reason. I think I am just tired and a little stressed out. That is alright.

I had a good day. I slept okay last night. I was sad when James decided to try to sleep on the couch for a while and I missed them. I went out and kissed their head before I came to bed and fell asleep myself. It was a good sleep. Even if it was lonely.

I gave James a hug in the morning when they woke me up to say goodbye. They would take a scooter to work today so I could have the car. Very kind of them. It was the first time they've taken a scooter since the accident so I think that it was also nice for them.

I woke up at 9 and was in a pretty good mood. All I wanted to do this morning was finish my blanket. And man am I proud. It took a while to finish those last three rows but it was worth it.

I did my last temperature and that only took about 15 minutes, and then one black line, which took another 15 or so. The part that took forever was casting off the loom and then whip stitching the entire edge down. This took an hour and change. I was nervous the whole time. Like it was a tangible finishing of this project. Like yes I'll still have to weave in ends and some small finishing details. But it's of the loom! It's a useable blanket!! Watching it slowly come off the loom was so weird!!

Right before I finished that last few minutes of whip stitches Mr Will knocked on the door to ask a question. And I brought him in to show him the blanket. I stood on the coffee table to hold it up. He asked if I was going to sell it and when I told him how much it would cost (materials plus paying myself $15 an hour, it would cost at minimum $3500) he was a little shocked. Still he encouraged me to make smaller ones to sell. I'll consider it. I was just to excited to be done this project. Even if it's just for me!!

I finished the last bit of stitching and got my shoes on. Because I can't just sit and enjoy the end of this project, I have to plan the next. And it was time to go to get more yarn for next year project.

It was way foggier out then I realized. Thankfully there weren't many people on the roads. And I had a nice, slow, drive to joann's.

It was sort of raining at this point. I was glad to be inside.

I thought I was going to go with this fleece yarn I really liked but they didn't have a good color range. I knew I didn't want to go with the bulky yarn but I like the brand so I stuck around there. I had fun looking in all of the aisles but I ended up really liking the velvet yarn. I chose 6 and would put them back and make one more lap before deciding on them for sure. And while this precipitation blanket is going to be a little more confusing, I think it's going to be beautiful at the end and very different from this years. I'm excited.

And everything was on sale. So it was like $40 less then I had budgeted in my head. Amazing.

I paid and left and decided to go to the thrift store. I did not buy anything and honestly there were to many people but I had fun looking around. The only thing I really want right now is a small shelving unit but I did not find that. Ah well.

I at least enjoyed walking around the store. And listening to my podcast.

Since I was out there I decided to go to taco bell. Where I ordered and waited more then 10 minutes before I asked and they were like oh we weren't paying attention. And made my food. Made me a little sad to be forgotten but the food was good. I ate in the car and then headed home.

When I got back here I ran the dishwasher and made a chart for what each color yarn will be. And chilled with Sweetp for a few minutes. I decided I want to make a bunch of squares with the leftover yarn from this years blanket. So I started working on that. I want to improve my crochet. I know I learned to do it a weird way but I practiced for a few minutes and got my tension better and started making squares. Now I have 7 whole squares done! Amazing. And still so much yarn to use.

I had some cereal and then went to pick James up from work. It was still very foggy. Lots of accidents out there in the world.

And when I got to the museum Stanley was closing the gate!! He told me to come in the exit and I felt like a rule breaker! But I said happy new year to him and waited for James.

We had to close the gate behind us. So James got out and I drove across the street to wait for them.

We went over to the grocery store next. Where I made James double over when I told them I forget to turn the car off sometimes when I get out and we were just laughing and being silly.

We got the few little things we needed. Milk and ice cream for milkshakes, we were going to get ricotta cheese but they were all out! Thankfully we had some at home. We also got sparkling cider to celebrate tonight.

We drove home and I got back in bed to work on my squares. And James laid with me while they edited their podcast. They made manicotti for me and pasta for themselves. We had dinner in bed. And I kept working on my squares.

At 7 James biked in the living room. I took a shower. And once we were both clean James made me a milkshake and we built some Legos together. I love them so much.

Now I am resting in bed while James plays Mario Cart with their friends. It was a really good day. And a really good year. I got to marry the best person I've ever met. I had more opportunities and love and just felt really happy. There were a lot of hard times. But I was happy.

Tomorrow is 2023!!! If it already is for you I hope the future is bright. Goodnight everyone. Until next year!!

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tsuki-sennin · 2 years

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Hey y'all, Tsuki here~! Boy, I can't wait to watch this week's episode of "Igarashi Family Bathhouse: Everyday Life!", my favorite happy and wholesome family sitcom with you all today! Boy, it sure was sad when Grandpa Giff bit the big one, but his memory lives on through us! Pretty raw deal, huh? But thanks to George, we have No Fear, No Pain any longer! What have you got for us today, Ikki-nii? Dai-chan? Sakura-san?

Okay, enough lyin', it's time for Spoilers, I guess...

-The devil is dead.

-DUCK

-Gamer Vice Bath Water.

-Olteca's in jail, Kagerou's been pacified, Akaishi's dead, and Giff has been exorcised!

-Hooray, bath time!

-Oh yeah, we have this episode and uh...

-Uh oh, we still have Giff cells.

-GIffcels...

-Oh lord, the dominoes.

-...second time?

-I've seem some folks say that Ikki's not exactly the most interesting MC in the world, and while I can concede that's true to an extent (what with him being very reactionary and a huge majority of his faults having been done before, often better with various Riders that came before him), I personally still find him very compelling. He's this vessel through which we get to bond with the Igarashi family, see them as he sees them.

-I think it also helps that he reminds me a lot of a very good friend of mine, and it makes me happy to see him succeed too, so...

-Yeah, these scenes make me tear up.

-Hana-chan, hello! You were badass in Girls Remix yesterday!

-Oh... right, you're going to jail.

-Go visit your girlfriend in jail, Sakura!

-Karizaki ditched everything huh?

-Oh hey, Hiromicchi! And Hikaru-kun!

-Tamaki-kun too!

-Honestly, I'd pay good money to watch a Revice spin-off about all the Demons Driver users sharing an apartment together, arguing over Kamen Rider duty with Hiromi struggling to keep them in line.

-...and just to clarify, this is only a premise for a fanfiction I'm considering, not an actual request to Toei or Bandai, I swear.

-Oh ew, a shitstain.

-Oh right, Weekend's base was the Ushijima house. ...where the hell did it come from then, huh?

-Oooooh, all them Demons bitches are dead.

-Georgy's doing a murder.

-BON

-That's a throwback if I've ever seen one.

-Igarashi Ikki!

-Well, as long as you've learned your lesson, Masao-kun~!

-hjk;lhjlk; VICE GETS NO LOVE

-HANA-SAN

-"Where's the funny!"

-I love how they said that and it immediately hardcuts to Tamaki getting his cheeks clapped.

-Impulse Genome Edge...

-He is Devil Free!

-Juuga!

-It's a pun on Kuuga. With ten ("十" - Juu") animals, most of whom have fangs or tusks ("獣牙" - Juuga). Ten fangs, therefore, Juuga. (十牙)

-Man, Japanese seems like a paradise of puns.

-Karizaki has decided to trash all of his beloved Rider OC designs.

-Seems like a smart idea, yeah.

-He's really gone off the deep end, huh Hiromicchi?

-He looks amazing though.

-...pun partially intended.

-Thank you Lovekov.

-Oh.

-He's treating them as customers.

-Ohhh..

-That's depressing.

-Kentaro Maeda, how're you this good at selling these scenes?

-"I did this all for true peace."

-Guess all his random sinisterness in early episodes really never went away, even with all the insane rewrites and curveballs.

-God, these characters make me feel.

-Daijiiiii, nooooo, we're not playing the blame ourselves game!

-Oh hey, Kagerou.

-Yeah, definitely callous, but... well, he ain't entirely wrong.

-Ohhhhhh, everything's all dark.

-That was a cool shot though, won't lie.

-"Yeah, that science guy's like immortal now."

-Welp. Igarashi Rider fam no more. ...until the time of the movie, that is.

-Will giving up the Drivers even slow down Ikki's memory loss?

-Oooooh, he's really lost it.

-Oh epic, they're teaming up.

-A snake and a bird versus an entire zoo.

-Daaaaamn, his specials are strong.

-Ooooooooh, Amazing name drop.

-George Karizaki, the ten-fanged beast. As human as it gets, down his downright demonic actions.

-Goddamn.

-Hooray, Episode 48! Gonna be entirely honest, I'm just waiting for Revice to be over, I've been here for, like, ever. Not that I don't enjoy watching it with you, it's just that we've been here for so long, and...

-Well, there's this cool fox dude we're gonna meet in September, and um... I believe we have three more confirmed episodes left, soooooo...

#kr revice #revice spoilers #revive the vice: imprinted like stamps and fossils #kamen rider revice #kamen rider #tsuki talks

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aamethyst000 · 6 days

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Feeling more productive, everyday (May 6,24 - 7:19pm)

Ever since i bought this laptop, i have been noticing that i am a little more productive in the house hold. i'm getting up a lot more easier to do my chores (altough i'm still bitchy about it but i'm still doing said chores while being bitchy about it lmao), i actually drew something on my laptop! not to mention i am actually cooking dinner on time......ish. its still better than starting at 9pm to finally cook dinner. Anyway, my litlle brother and i are going tp head up to the store in a bit to grab some ingredients and snacks for tonight. i am making meat loaf and rice tonight!~ I do want to mention, that i am still struggling with my sleep schedule, going to bed at 4-5 in the morning, then getting up at 2-3 the next day, rinse and repeat. i dont know how i'm still functioning right now. At the moment, i'm running on 2 cups of coffee and one meal, i call that a win in my book. I'm still debating on whether or not i really want to buy the boox palma when i can do the exact same thing on my phone, just with a different screen and no texting. The boox palma runs on android, thank god. I think that why i want it so much, is to have a seperate device to read on. now that i have a different device to write my journals in.

8:17pm - my little brother and i just got home from the store, now i am going to start cooking our dinner tonight and watch some shera on netflix! then i think im going to play conkers bad fur day after supper <3

9:37pm - Dinner is almost done and i washed a few plate n forks that we need, now i am just watching shera while dinner is cooking. i'm on my third cup of coffee and i have been yelled at by my uncles cat ever since i came back from the store, poor thing lmao he just wants my attention. only in my room though, it doesnt seem to be the same im im in the kitchen or in the living room. it doesnt make sense to me but it does to the kitty, so i try not to fight with him, its hard to do so when i have stuff to do throughout the day. My kitty was the same way ysterday, all clingy and shit, not that i minded, i really love it when they are like that. it cheers me up.

honestly though, this feels so much better writing my journals here than on paper. at least this way, my laptop has a passowrd that no one in the house can get into. though it kind of sucks that it is a requirement to change my password every few months. why they even set it up like that is beyond me. i wonder what it'll be like if and when i actually go to a cafe and type out my journal entries there. its noce to imagine, but at the same time, the crowd would overwhelm me lmao then again, it's something i should get used to if i want to go back to work again. i just wish that the places i work at dont fckn ghost me, if and when they decide to let me go. that would be nice fir once. especially if i did something wrong to be let go like that. like, why are they even allowed to do that? but when the employees do that, just up and leave the work place or quit on the spot, we get go on the list of "do not hire"? kind of stupid isnt it?

i think im about to go on a rant in a sec, so i'm going to do something else, see if i still feel the same way about it later on. if i do, i'll talk about it here lol

9:56pm - now that i got that out of my system, i still feel the same way, i just dont feel the need to rant about it. i think ill just sit on this feeling and think about it. considering that there is nothing that i can personally do, to change said circumstances. anyway, change of subject, im finally listening to audio books now! since it got onto spotify, ive been taking advantage of it and i am so happy that i am! i think thats part of the reason why i have been feeling a little motivated today. i think im starting to love audio books now, im thinking of dowloading the app later on, or as soon as i can get a stable and steady job again, cause this is getting ridiculous, even for me.if i was living on my own, id either be on the streets or back to living with my mother again. reality sucks but oh well, what can i do other than look for another job. the village sucks for job hunting, especially if its just the canery, brighter feature, and assistant teacher. 2 of those i do not like because it involvles interacting with kids, which i am not used of. the other involves 12-14 hours of just standing there or stacking. not a lot of choices for me to choose from, thats for sure. i used to work at the clinic but they havent called me back in nearly a year. same with the school, after the pandemic started, i was never called back. hence why i wanted to rant about the whole " work places just up and ghost you" bullshit. stuff like that really annoy me so much. which is why i am so worried about moving, what if pg does the same? i look for a job for months, never get hired, be expected to pay rent each month i am unepmloyed AND buy myself groceries. not to mention the transportation, the area id live in and if every single one of them just fucking ignore me. since ive been planning this with my best friend, i told her about wanting to save up enough to pay 3 to 4 months of rent, have enough for groceries, and a few furniture if we find a place that needs it. she took note of it after i told her my olfer brothers experience and mine. it can be really stressful when no one hires you. it really makes you think if any of that, is because of whats on your resume, or what i say in most of my interviews, i dont even feel comfortable lying to them, just so i can get the bloody job and start making and saving money. like ive been planning for so many years. i just wish that adulting is so much easier. but that would be too much to ask of our prime minister. selfsih piece of shit. Anyway, dinner is nearly done cooking so i am going to go back to watching shera and enjoy our late dinner, again. i like that i started typing a lot more here than i did on my phone. i love it, i almost dont want to stop, almost.

12:07am - we have just finished having our supper and MY G O D was supper ever so yummy~ i couldnt finish my plate so i think im going to give the rest to my little brother, but at the same time. i want to keep it for myself for when i get hunry for it again. i think im going to go bath tonight and then set up my trans tape for tomorrow. ill be buying more i think next week wen i have more money in my bank. which, btw, i need to go down to the band office and take out cash again. cause honestly, i want to stop myself from spending so much money in one go. i want to get better at that, i will acknowledge, though, that i have been doing really well on not spending so much. i managed to save more than enough after the rupert trip with my littlw brother. im really proud of that <3

12:36am - i am going to get ready for a bath now, had my 4th (forth) cup of coffee and 0 (zero) cups of water. i gotta catch up on that one. i used to be able to keep up with my water intake. well, except for when i was a teen, i hated the taste of plain water, so i remember avoiding drinking water unless absolutley necessary, which, at the time, was kind of rare for me to do. i was drinking one to two cups of water every other day. i was an absolutely stubborn child, i hated being wrong lmao i still kind of do, actually. im just not as stubborn as i was before, at least not to the point where im putting my health on the line. so yeah, i guess i still hate being wrong most times lmao

should i bring this up in my therapy appointment? i think i should. or rather, i feel like i should, but i dont want to. i just want to make the appointment again, and just fckn rant my therapist ear right out. maybe ill feel better afterwards and be better on my own time schedule management with my friends and family. i was so afraid to become that adult who is almost never home, drinking and doing ddrugs a lot, to the point where someone may take advantage of me at my lowest. however that may look. that i stayed home way more than a normal person considers "normal". i dont know how else to put it. i just know that my best friend is very sick of it and so am i. im 25 going to be turning 26 this year and i should and want to act like it for once in my life. i know that, physically, im no longer a teenager anymoe but in my brain, im jumping from 14, 16,17 and18 all in one go it seems. but i think ill save this topic for another time. kekekekekekeke

good night, readers! <3

#happy #lgbt #2spirit #journalist #journal #journalist amethyst000 #lgbtq #they/them #journal entry #queer #gay #love

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annieintheaair · 1 month

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Hello Weekend

I honestly can't believe that I finally made it to Friday. This week has been incredibly long and I'm so sleep-deprived that I'd probably be happy with a weekend spent catching up on sleep at this point.

I have mixed feelings about it being Friday. Of course, I'm glad I'm done flying for the week and the rest of my month should be a little easier with only three trips per week, so that's something to look forward to. On the other hand, I became so used to the normal Friday of getting home from work, working my other job, napping, going to yoga at noon, and then loading myself and the dogs into the car to drive up to Todd's for the weekend.

I considered going to Disney World this weekend just to get away and go to a happy place. I went there not long after James and I broke up and it helped to get my mind off of things and feel happy again. After that breakup, I had planned out a whole train trip around the country. I had every intention of taking it but then realized that the last thing I needed right then was to take a trip alone. I felt like I just shouldn't be alone at that time. Instead, I went to Florida to visit my childhood friend, Pat, and we went to Disney.

I couldn't find a dog sitter for this weekend but I also knew that I shouldn't be spending the money right now when I have so many things coming up that cost a lot of money (like moving).

I got home from work around 7:30am today and was able to take a shower, get some work done, and then turn on the TV and fall asleep. When I woke up, Facebook reminded me that I had memories today. One memory was three years ago when I thought about my Grandma and just missed her so much. It's hard to believe that she has been gone so long. In the post, I talked about how when you love someone, you never stop missing them. I finished the post saying:

"Hold those you love close and tell them you love them. Our time here is so limited and our time with those we love is never long enough."

I still believe all of that today. There are lots of people like my Grandma and Dan, who I unfortunately, get to miss indefinitely. All of the people who once served a purpose in your life, random things happen in your day and it just makes you miss them all over again. Somehow, it feels worse to miss someone who is still here. It's almost easier when you know they're gone because they passed away. Missing someone who still exists in this world is incredibly painful.

Another post, from nine years ago, when I first started flying, was about my work trip to Chicago where I got to explore the city and walk 13 miles in one day all by myself because my crew wanted to stay in their rooms and watch Netflix all day. That day, I fell in love with Chicago. I said in the post, "In life, if you don't go alone, you probably won't go at all." My mom commented, "I just know that in this big beautiful world, there is someone waiting to travel with you!"

That Chicago post was NINE years ago! I'm STILL waiting for someone to travel with me. Dear God, I am EXHAUSTED!

I can go back and forth -- like, I'm ok on my own. But then, I keep seeing all of these events happening and fun things to do and I'm like, I really can't do any of those things alone and even if I tried, I don't think I'd enjoy any of it because I would feel lonely. Not having Todd to do all of the fun things with really sucks.

I can't go back in time and I feel like I can't fix anything. In therapy yesterday, Jose encouraged me to try to do the things I enjoy even on my own. We talked about how it's hard for me to do all of those things when everything means driving an hour. It was one thing to do it so I could spend the weekend with Todd but it feels like a lot to do it in one day just because.

When Todd and I were looking for a place together, there was more of a sense of urgency for us to find a place. Since his lease ends in June, we knew we needed to find a place by then. My parents seemed ok with that and so that became the timeline. Now, my mom seems to think that I should stay here forever until they find a buyer because she thinks I no longer have a timeline. Regardless of Todd, and even before we had started looking at places together and I thought I'd be moving on my own (which I am now, again), my timeline was still May/June. I wanted to move before summer when it gets too hot and I really don't think I can handle another summer without a pool.

Jose agreed that I'll feel better and happier once I'm back where I feel like I belong. He encouraged me to tell my parents that I still have that timeline even without Todd. When I tried to tell my mom that last night, she became really mad at me. Coming full circle here, that is exactly how I ended up with an anxious attachment style. When you have an anxious attachment style, your feelings can feel overwhelming and as a child, you learn how to manage them on your own because you feel like, no matter how hard you try to be close to people and how much you want them to understand you and accept your feelings, people treat you like you're too much.

I've been reading the book Secure Love and it made me think about times in my childhood when I felt like I was invisible. When I was 4 I ran with a noodle on my nose and ended up splitting my head open and needing 20 stitches. This was a call for attention. The same thing happened when I jumped off my bunk bed and nearly broke my nose. All these attempts at getting people to notice and care about me and even though I know my parents love me, sometimes when someone yells at me, like how my mom reacted last night, makes me feel like I can never do anything right. In the book, they call this "getting big" because it's how we get people to notice us when we feel ignored.

All these years later, I still can't stand to be ignored. Being ignored makes me feel like I'm being punished and like I can't do or say anything right.

The book I'm reading isn't only an attempt at fixing relationships, but also better understanding myself and those around me. I'm trying to be understanding when I feel ignored because I know that people with an avoidant attachment don't know how to process emotions and sometimes need time. I can't help but feel impatient because I just want to try to fix everything but I'm reading the book and working to become a securely attached person, instead of an anxious one. I just wish someone would notice my efforts and meet me halfway.

Well, I'm off to yoga to hopefully calm my mind and heart.

xoxo

Annie

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jordandazur · 4 months

Text

january 19 2024 12:40

Well happy new year. It's been a couple weeks since my first post of this nature. I haven't been working on music at all since then. I don't like that! Life is incredibly stressful atm so I just haven't had the drive to sit down and think. I won't bore myself by writing out all the details right now. But I just finally wrote the lyrics to a song I've been working on for a while now! It's probably my favorite piece of work so far. I don't particularly think it's like game changing or anything but it's mine and I'm proud of myself for doing something like this. This is the closest I've gotten to a finished song in a longggg time. So that is something to celebrate regardless.

Today, I had the drive. I've been sick all week so it has felt good to sit down for a couple hours and just create. Although, I struggled with that. I couldn't get a foothold on any other song I've been working on so I went back to my song "Homestead" to finish writing the lyrics. I had a chorus and a refrain/outro written but I was struggling to just write one verse. Short verse. Very easy. Especially for a song I thought I had a very good grasp on conceptually. But for the longest time I just couldn't hear it in my head. Tonight I got sick of that and forced myself to listen to the empty verse over and over until I was humming a melody to myself and mumbled the first lines of it! Slowly I uncovered more of the verse as I listened to it again and again until boom verse is done.

Excepttttt.... I'm not sure how I feel about it. I like it, like a lot actually. But in the context of the song........... it sounds good because EYE know what the song is about. I understand my good intentions in wanting to write a song about finding community and casting out imperialists and fascists from my home. But it kind of sounds like a republican trying to kick immigrants out of America. Honestly, I kind of like that! It feels like a honey trap for republicans. Taking their own dogma and using it against them. Well, not against them per se. I believe most republicans are just everyday working class people who have been coerced into believing that all of this mess in America is the only way of life. I see them as a deeply sick and lonely and corrupted group of people. THIS IS NOT A HALL PASS FOR THEM BY ANY MEANS!! THEY WILL PAY THEIR REPARATIONS!!! But... they're humans nonetheless. Humans who have been exploited and manipulated into misery. Which they then project on to anyone who doesn't look or think like them. Not great! But I see this song as showing them the light; showing them who we should really be casting out of our land. (Neoliberal corporatist fascist coastal elites powers-that-be demons from hell and their lackeys hiding amongst the working class; whatever despicable name you can think of to call these people)

So this honey trap would hopefully teach them to love other people??? I doubt it. But this song is also a call to my comrades as a reminder for what we're fighting for. Peace and land and bread!!! In the song I write a lot about "my home" and telling "them" to "go back to where they came from" which sounds rich coming from a white person. I am not claiming to be native (fuck every Coloradan with the bitchass "COLORADO NATIVE" bumper stickers... you're not fucking native dumbass) but this is my home regardless. I am european by descent but I have known no other home other than this one. I don't consider myself european and I have no place to return to there. THIS is my home. I don't like that my ancestors were part of a settler colony and stole this land but now it is in my hands, for better or for worse. I like to think that I will do better with it. I want to protect this land. I want to steward this land. I want to honor this land and those who cared for it before me. Give this land back to the indigenous people who rightfully own it and I will do what it takes to care for it alongside them, like their ancestors did. I am fully aware of how fucking white I sound right now. I am doing my best to be aware of my heritage and the damage it has done. Taking care of this land (and it's people I should add) is one of the ways I know I can do some good.

I want this song to encapsulate these feelings of love and respect. I also want it to ignite a level of anger and pride. This is OUR home. Capitalists can fuck right off. This land is not for sale or exploitation. This is MY HOME!! And I will do what I can to protect it and honor it. Through that, I know we can find peace and harmony. Through community, we can protect each other and our home. I don't expect many white Coloradans to be on board with this but to my friends and family, we can make some good out of our existence here. It may not have been our choice to be born on stolen land but it is our choice to give it back and aid in its protection. We can listen to the land, and we can listen to its owners. LAND FUCKING BACK!!! NOW!!!

Have I rambled enough yet?? Writing a song like this, even knowing that no one will hear it, is anxiety-inducing. This song is not patriotic but I like that it pretends to be. It's just frightening to think not everyone will understand that. Maybe I'm writing this post to have some proof of my good intentions. Maybe I'm writing this to convince myself that the song is fine! It's both actually. And I'm gonna shut up and post the tentative lyrics. I suspect they will change in small bits but I need to record vocals in the studio next week so this is pretty much it!

TL;DR: I wrote a song about land back and finding community and casting evil out of our homes. It makes me anxious to think the message could be misconstrued (coming from a white person) but I stand firm with my take!

HOMESTEAD by Jordan d'Azur

Come cool my mind

If you would like

And I will play your harp

And open up the skies

Come stay the night

And we will find

That peace and land and bread

Await our eyes

Feel myself get high

Mountain to sky

This home I call

This land of mine

Our arms will raise

Their knees will fall

This land we love

Go back to where you came from

Find light and love in your own

Go back to where you came from

Leave me to be in my home

Go back to where you came from

Our blood has spilled enough, oh

Go back to where you came from

Leave me to be

Come cool my mind

If you would like

And I will play your harp

And open up the skies

Come stay the night

And we will find

That peace and land and bread

Await our eyes

Go back to where you came from

Leave me to be in my home

Go back to where you came from

Fuck off get out of my home

Go back to where you came from

I’ll die before you take this

Go back to where you came from

Leave me to be

#jordandazur #stream of consciousness #mess #landback

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