#the problem is also i love catholic imagery too much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nightcolorz · 9 months

Note

Can you talk a little more about how you view gender roles in the vampire chronicles vs amc iwtv bc I feel like sth is missing from amc compared to tvc that i can't place

I would love to !! (Explodes) I have so many tvc gender thoughts. So so many.

I believe the major disconnect between the show vs the books and gender is the place and perspective the writer’s are coming from. Something I really love about Anne Rice’s writing (and really hate sometimes lol) is that she didn’t think about themes or implications at all when she wrote. She just purged her story onto the page and themes and patterns just end up there. This means that every bit of consistency and meaning in tvc comes from something Anne Rice had fixed into her subconscious that she without realizing is putting into her work. So when it comes to gender, in tvc it’s all personal feelings of Anne rice’s. This differs in the show that obviously has a team of writers who put a lot of thought in about public reception and meaning and all. So these perspectives color how gender (and everything basically) is presented.

Anne Rice had some complicated feelings about gender. I’m not going to go too deep into that bcus that’s not what I want this post to be about, but in summarization she had a combination of problematic biases and internalizations that came from a Catholic upbringing in the 40s-50s and some apparent gender dysphoria or at least disconnect with womanhood and gender/gender roles in general. She’s spoken about not understanding gender or feeling like a woman. This comes off very strongly in how she presents her vampires as androgynous, almost genderless beings. It’s a reoccurring theme in tvc that vampirism takes away the burdens of gendered expectations and gives vampires the freedom of self expression and androgyny. It makes sense why a concept like this would speak to a trans person like me, so it’s a big part of why I prefer the book’s handling of gender. Of course Anne Rice also has problematic gender biases, so her presentation of being an androgynous being free of gender roles is flawed, since gender roles are very ingrained in her mindset, which adds to my dissatisfaction with the show’s handling, which could’ve been so good if they took what Anne Rice tried to do and enhanced it.

Anyways, when it comes to tvc there’s also Anne Rice’s subconscious projection of her irl struggles onto her characters. A handful of Anne Rice’s insecurities and struggles came from, well, being a woman, and since her characters r so much of the time vessels to vent her problems through, a strange occurrence happens where her vastly male cast is struggling in ways that would be relatable to women and people who face misogyny and/or internalized misogyny. (Cough cough this is especially apparent with Louis and Armand cough cough).All of this wasn’t conscious on Anne Rice’s part, it’s just a natural consequence of how personal her writing was. An outlier to the “cis men experiencing misogyny” phenomenon is Gabrielle, who I could write a whole essay on, one of the few afab characters who also has projected gender problems by Anne Rice syndrome, but since she is afab she just ends up coming off as a gnc/transmasc/ftm person dealing with gender dysphoria.

Then there’s the show, which disclaimer I like the show a lot, but boy do I have Issues with it. I could be wrong, we only have one season, but it doesn’t seem like the show is attempting to tackle the “vampires are genderless” concept. They definitely do things with androgyny and gender roles, but not in the context of “messing around with/being free of these things is amazing”. Vampirism in iwtv seems to only enforce gender, weirdly enough. Let me explain!

Ok, so what the show seems to be doing with gender roles is using the concept of a “nuclear family” and our expectations of what that entails to assert the dynamic of Louis, Lestat, and Claudia’s familial relationship. Through utilizing tropes and imagery associated with a nuclear family the viewers are easily able to pick up on the subtext and conflicts that the show is presenting us with, bcus we all know the nuclear family. I think comparing the rue royal family to a nuclear family is interesting in concept, but in execution, I’m not a fan. I think if the show went a different route, and had Louis frame the story in a way that compares his life to familiar hetero, mortal family conventions for the sake of being sympathetic and understandable to Daniel and readers, without that being the literal dynamic of the characters, that could’ve been interesting. Also, I like the concept of oppressive systems like gender roles becoming oppressive in different ways for vampires, since “vampirism isn’t freeing it just gives u different problems” is a theme of the show that I rlly like, esp bcus Anne rice was rarely able to decide if vampirism was super fun or tortuous. But that doesn’t seem to be what the show is doing. Lestat, Louis, and Claudia literally just fit into your stereotypical abusive nuclear family tropes. Sometimes things are switched around and subverted, but for the most part it’s pretty consistent. Anne Rice’s personal projections onto the characters is nearly nonexistent, most glaringly for Lestat. I don’t like this, it doesn’t make sense for the characters, and it also simplifies their dynamic and conflict in the book to be much less interesting in my opinion.

Sometimes the show will show us characters breaking gender expectations, Lestat occasionally or Antoinette cross dressing (speaking of Antoinette I’ll get to her), but none of these moments seem to mean anything adjacent to “vampires are genderless or gender-fluid and this is freeing for them. These moments seem to align more closely with imagery associated with queer coded villains during the Hayes code era. Both Lestat and Antoinette are being particularly grotesque and villainous during their gnc moments, which aligns with the old hollywood vibe that the show seems to be going for, which is mildly cool, but not particularly compelling or relatable to me beyond that. And it definitely doesn’t have the type of resonance that the books do when it comes to gender nonconformity.

So, I think Antoinette is the prime example of this. Antoine in the books was a young man, 19 years old, who Lestat used in a way that was reminiscent of how a cheating husband would use a mistress. He fooled around sexually with this younger man and also confided to him in ways he didn’t his “husband” (Louis), escaping to him when he was fed up with his family at home to blow off steam and vent his struggles, the way he does with Antoinette in the show. But Antoine himself did not have the stereotypical personality of a “mistress”, he was naive and well intentioned, didn’t realize he was being used and that Louis was being hurt in the process. When Lestat tells him that he needs his help fighting back against his family he’s horrified and confused. Antoinette in the show is not this, she’s very much a “mistress”, and the sex change from book to show makes this even more annoying to me. It just seems like the show writers wanted to make the subtextual coding of Antonine’s character in the books annoyingly unsubtle text, by making Antonine the stereotypical evil and seductive female mistress, which I rlly hate. And also they removed any and all sympathy attached to Antoine’s character in the process. (Side note ik ppl are gonna come at me with “oh but it’s from Louis’s perspective! That’s why Antoinette is treated that way, he hates her! And to that I say there is no evidence to support that, it hasn’t happened in the show, you made it up. And if it’s true and done well I’ll eat my words, but for now my opinion is based on what is in the show, and it prob won’t change until we get new content.)

There’s more, like how Louis fulfills the traditionally female roles in marriage (cleaning, taking care of the kids, etc) which is kind of gnc, but only so that the show can frame him as more of a stereotypical abuse victim, and not to say anything interesting about how vampirism gives people more opportunities to explore gender fluidity in ways they find freeing. The show uses gender roles to non subtly code the characters in ways that are easily digestible and relatable to a cis audience. That’s my main gripe, gender in AMC’s iwtv is very cis.

What I love about the books is how fluid gender is with the characters. Lestat is very feminine and very masculine, so is Louis, these traits can co exist without ever contradicting each other. But ig that was too complicated and varied for the show to want to tackle, just like the complex mutual toxicity of loustat’s relationship, which was dumbed down so much also. I feel like the show writers didn’t know what to do with a gay relationship where both men are feminine and masculine and also both men have complex trauma and traits that make their relationship unhealthy + a hot mess, and instead just reframed loustat to be traditional abusive relationship we’ve seen a billon times in media.

In conclusion, the show could very well change my mind and portray gender/gender roles in a way that I enjoy, but for now I’m unsatisfied. I want to be wrong ultimately. If you like how gender is handled in the show feel free to disagree, but plz don’t come at me with anger. I’m happy to have a discussion, I’m very interested in this topic, but I don’t want to humor you if you’re rude. And if you want to talk more about the books and gender I’d be more then happy, feel free to dm me or send me an ask or reply to this post, I love the androgyny of the books sm and love talking about it. Thank you anon sm for sending the ask <3 I’ve been wanting to talk about this.

#tvc #the vampire chronicles #vampire chronicles #vc #interview with the vampire #iwtv #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #anne rice #iwtv amc #amc interview with the vampire #gabrielle de lioncourt #Tvc meta

110 notes · View notes

fictionadventurer · 9 months

Text

Now that I have some feedback on this year's Inklings Challenge themes, a few suggestions seemed the most popular.

Several voices expressed interest in Gifts/Fruits of the Spirit, which continues to intrigue me, but I shy away from it for the same reason that I have other years, which is that Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Gentleness, and Self-Control mostly fit fairly closely in with one another, which would make it difficult to single out one as a focus, and could make for stories that fit within a very narrow band.

One possibility that occurs is to make a list of lists: seven themes that are all groupings of their own, though this makes it even more complicated.

However, now that I’m thinking of those lists, I suddenly have a bunch of other ideas.

If this was a strictly Catholic challenge, we would totally be doing sacraments for the theme list.

The Corporal Works of Mercy are also probably mostly a Catholic concept, but they offer very specific yet wide-ranging prompts for stories.

Feed the hungry

Give drink to the thirsty

Shelter the homeless

Clothe the naked

Visit the sick

Visit the imprisoned

Bury the dead

If I’m willing to expand the list just slightly, we could do the Eight Beatitudes, which also offer very specific story-related prompts.

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for justice, for they shall have their fill.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.

Blessed are they that suffer persecution for the sake of Christ, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

There was also a lot of interest in letting people pick books of the Bible as inspiration, leaving it up to the author to choose whether to be inspired by plot points, themes, characters, etc.

If I did go with this option, I’d probably do a combination of specific books + categories to cover a wider range. Something like

Genesis

Judges

Kings

Prophets

Psalms

Gospels

Revelation

I do like this idea, but this does leave a burden on the author to dive into the Bible, and with only a three-week writing window, people could get too tangled up in possibilities or the time commitment of rereading to actually write anything in time (and it could suggest we’re expecting retellings, which would not be the case.)

Other Bible-related options that intrigue me included the suggestion to list seven Bible characters to use as inspiration—which could have the same effect of making people think we’re expected retellings instead of just “use this as a spark of inspiration”. One way to avoid that could be to list several categories of characters and let people pick: Fathers, Judges, Kings, Prophets, Apostles, etc. But then we get back to the “requires too much research on the author’s part” problem.

I also loved the idea of using seven of Christ’s parables as prompts. This has a similar benefit to the “books of the Bible” option in that it would allow people to choose plot points, characters, themes, imagery, etc., but it narrows the focus so there’s not so much reading to dive into. It also has a similar drawback—people might think we expect retellings. But in our Christian storytelling challenge, it seems very fitting to tie our work to the idea of Christ as storyteller.

List of possible parables include the well-known story parables:

The Good Samartian

The Prodigal Son

The Ten Virgins

The Unforgiving Servant

The Rich Man and Lazarus

The Pharisee and the Tax Collector

The Laborers in the Vineyard

The Ten Talents

As well as some with more abstract imagery:

The Parable of the Sower

The Parable of the Wheat Among Weeds

The Parable of the Lost Sheep

The Parable of the Pearl

The Parable of the Barren Fig Tree

The Parable of the Mustard Seed

The Parable of the Friend at Midnight

I understand I have not made my problem easier. I’m just trying to list some options and get more specific feedback.

#adventures in the inklings challenge

38 notes · View notes

yellowocaballero · 10 months

Note

ok so im not very far into trigun (which. you convinced me to read/watch) but ive seen you talk about vash as a christ/messiah figure which. means im kinda obsessed with how you described his impact on the world in no name on the bullet (christ healing the lame, christ feeding the thousand... christ delivering his people from evil.) did you have any specific biblical references you kept in mind while writing?

i also think its super interesting how the fic seems to focus more heavily on healing as opposed to how (what ive seen of) trigun is a lot more gunman focused - is part of that influenced by how knives is a pacifist in a "cold turkey" way, or a choice on your part? i think it makes an interesting dichotomy, christ the gunman and satan the physician

I've gone my entire life without recommending Trigun to anybody, because I always felt it was too weird and ultra-violent and love-it-or-hate-it to actually ask people to watch it. Look at me now. Getting at least 3+ people into it. Boo boo the fool. Also I'm sorry that this response is so long skull emoji.

I'm ex-Catholic so you have asked the right question lol. Vash is very inspired by the Old Testament God. I have a strong mental image of him obsessing over the Noah's Arc story in his cute children's Bible. Sodom and Gomorrah is brought up again much later, in an extremely important way. Garden of Eden and Paradise, as the show does. The Plagues where every firstborn son dies. These is all imagery that Vash specifically evokes on purpose. Vash...uses the Bible to understand his own experiences and feelings and desires (that's the most neutral way to phrase it), but like a lot of people he uses the Bible/God partly as justification for his actions. God destroys cities for being sinful, and Vash is the closest thing to God this planet has, so he's entitled lol. God Complex McGee up in here.

And Vash's cult has no Jesus, because there is no forgiveness for humanity, and no way for them to be saved. Which is how you know that Vash's Jesus-ey actions as described in the story are very deceitful on a lot of different levels. Kind of like regular Vash lmfao - as I said earlier, he's VERY much also a messiah deconstruction. Vash is a pacifist partly because he needs it - he needs to be believed that people can be saved, that the world can be good, that nobody has to die, because otherwise the world is nothing but an endless parade of misery and death and his own suffering. It's about saving his own soul, and the memory of Rem.

For me, on a writing level: Cain and Abel, obviously. 'My brother's keeper'-ass mofo lmfao. It's more themes for me, though - redemption, salvation, forgiveness, original sin, sin in general, guilt, fate. Knives is pretty obsessed with all of these topics. I make fun of him for it. None of it's healthy. But Knives embodies a few other Christian ideals that I don't make fun of him for, such as the importance of good works and good actions, and dedicating his life towards helping others without the desire for a reward. There's also some subtle 'shepherd and his sheep' stuff going on later.

Re: the gunfights: can you IMAGINE Knives carrying a gun. He is WAY too proud of his own #biologicalsuperiority and #ultimatelifeform and #impenetrabledefense (literally Shadow AND Gaara-ass mofo) to rely on cheap human trinkets like guns lol.

The plot has more action than my usual (yay! - that was what I was working for lol), but it's based off the skeleton of the Stampede plot, which is genuinely a lot more space opera than Western and as such its action looks different. Turns out that when you remove the Gung Ho Guns from a story, there are a LOT LESS gunfights, lmfao (I don't know what kind of errands Vash sends the GHG out on, I am afraid to find out). So partly there's less gunfights because a) Stamp plots don't require too many gunfights, and b) without a Gunman (TM) there's no reason for the group to use guns to solve their problems if at all possible.

It's also just that, basically, Vash's plots are partly man vs self and partly man vs other. When a character is level 99, the tension of the fight scene isn't if they'll win the fight - it's if they'll win the fight under their self-imposed conditions. In Vash's case, the Q in every gunfight is 'can Vash win the fight and save people without compromising his principles?'. For Knives, he is so ridiculously OP that it's impossible to write a fight scene with genuine tension, and he doesn't care nearly as deeply about casualties. So the most engaging plotlines for Knives are entirely man vs self, which tends to shake out into a lot of trolley problems lol. That's the answer to your Q from a writing perspective.

So it's mostly a choice for plot/writing reasons. But YUP the dichotomy is SUPER JUICY, and the fun part of the story is reading the Ultimate Killing Machine be forced to do literally anything else than Ultimate Kill - to do the only thing he wasn't meant to do. Because doing what he was meant to do reduces him to a biblical figure instead of a person - it makes him just a devil, who's never exercised the free will God gave him, and as such can't be called sentient. It's not what Rem would want. And it's a very juicy juxtaposition to somebody who interprets his own meaning in life as a Christ figure as a divine compulsion to brutally murder orphan.

#my writing #AH SORRY FOR LONG ANSWER AGAIN....#this story's actually a bit more drama and Things Happen-ey than my usual #which is a lot easier when you're following the beats of another person's story F #but its good practice for writing scenes that aren't just 'A and B talk in a location'#I need my stories to be more active AGH #im working on it but improvement is such slow going....#part of the reason why I avoided writing Trigun my whole life #is because a Trigun fic that was entirely talking seemed dishonest lol #sitting down I was like 'it's Trigun I need as much to happen as possible'#succeeded I think but I feel like I cheated.#also still wish it had more gunfights you're so right anon

17 notes · View notes

cult-of-dollbabies · 2 years

Note

Hiii sorry for bothering u but i wanted to ask u what u think of season 2 of chucky so far

HI I'm never bothered, thanks for the ask!

SPOILERS ‼️

It's been fun! A little cheesy, I've been disappointed w the whole vibe since season one so I'm going into it with little expectation, and I don't mean that in a mean way i just wish it had been done a little differently. The setting of a catholic school is very interesting and bro lemme tell you ive been waiting for that religious imagery in this franchise for a long time so im stoked about that. As usual I enjoyed chucky being an ass and also him not giving a heck at this point, though.. his plan to "take over the world" had me like.. wut. Is that seriously what we're doing here.

I love Nadine (don't know if that's how you spell it I'm too lazy to check) I think her character was a perfect addition, I love how she's otherwise unfazed by the killer doll running around and I hope to see her and Lexi be a duo, also Lexi :(

Jake and Devon have my heart GRIPPED, their moments are some of my favorite but I hope the season refrains from focusing on them too much, which I don't think that'll be a problem, hasn't been before.

The parts with Tiffany and Nica make my skin crawl, It's disturbing, and I do like the horror of it all but the way I've seen ppl romanticize them makes me just.. eugh, no fuckin way right? ALSO confirmation that Nica and Chucky are plotting against Tiff 👌👌 good shit, but I would prefer they had Charles in that bit but using the puppet was probably cheaper

I WANT ANDY AND KYLE TO BE OKAY please I know they're alive and stuff but god just let me see them again

Overall its been fine, im most intrigued by how the kids relationship turns out while they get through this and also where tf Andy went.

#canon means nothing to me in my mind this is some alt universe to the first batch of films #i have other thoughts about specific parts but id have to watch the eps again if ur interested #ASKS NEVER BOTHER ME BTW i get so sad when ppl say that 😭 i love yall #asks #chucky spoilers

10 notes · View notes

angeltreasure · 1 year

Note

Cecilia here, Happy St. Patrick's Day! I had a good one, got to do the Stations of the Cross, had an easy day at work and had a lovely fish dinner (wasn't sure what my church's stance was on fasting today so better safe than sorry.) Also just finished my 20th day toward my 33 days to Consecration to Mary, and tomorrow going to a 40 days for life rally to pray for a closing of a local abortion clinic. Otherwise have a random question. I love fantasy stuff, like dragons, fairies, the whole shebang. Are there any problems as a Catholic with liking fantasy stuff, or even thinking it could perhaps be real? I mean, unicorns are in the Bible and so are dragons. Like, not worship obviously, but like think they could perhaps exist. God Bless!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!! ☘️

It sounds like you had an amazing day! You inspire me to keep strong. I had an easy day at work too. My mom brought home shakes, apple pies, and cupcakes! Even though our diocese gave us permission to eat meat today we both felt funny about it so no meat for us either. I read The Confession of Saint Patrick out loud to my mom after turning on the decorative lights, followed by watching Father Stu!

I have absolutely loved fantasy things ever since I was a young child, especially dragons. I was obsessed with dragons for a long, long time..when I was younger. The oldest tales of cultures used to be passed down generation to generation in word, and it is not surprising to find that they used imagery to try and grasp the form of fear of the unknown. Dragons, in fact, used to be drawn on the edge of world maps of old, because not a lot was known like we have now. Dragons are a common story found across all continents around the world, some see them as monsters and demons, others as ancestors with much wisdom made up of different animals, even made up gods. Satan takes on the form of a dragon, waiting to devour the child of the woman in the Bible. Since Satan was once the most powerful, intelligent angel, it would be easy for him to perhaps transform into such an image. We already know too well who the serpent was. Yes unicorns are mentioned as well!

It’s important to realize the difference between reality vs fiction as a Catholic. There is nothing wrong with admiring fictional creatures that artists and authors give us, but it becomes a problem if we worship them or think that specific fictional creation by some author itself is real, for example, Spyro, and tell others the lie that Spyro is a real animal. There are ways it can lead to sin, so make sure to ask your confessor next time you go so you can be informed better than I can explain. I think it’s important to also note that the veil we can’t see behind is real and there are real classified animals created by God that are very much dragon-like that you can actually learn about and see in real life. (I don’t know my horses as well as lizards so you must forgive me.) For example here are just a few… There are over 41 species of Draco alone.

Draco taeniopterus (Thai flying dragon)

We also have this guy….they have been known to attack, kill, and eat humans! Yikes!

Varanus komodoensis (Komodo dragon)!!

There are at least six or more species of Pogona (bearded dragon)…

Phycodurus eques (leafy sea dragon)

Tribolonotus gracilis (Red-eyed Crocodile Skink)

Dracaena guianensis (Northern Caiman Lizard)

Ouroborus cataphractus (Armadillo Girdled Lizard)

Hydrosaurus pustulatus (Phillipine Sailfin Lizard)

Alligator sinensis (Chinese alligator)

#asks #Cecilia

5 notes · View notes

lashie-nation · 2 years

Text

LH2 Spotify Playlist Analysis

Posted 13 February 2022

Luke made a new Spotify playlist titled LH2 with 10 songs on it.

I think Luke chose these songs based on not only their lyrics but the overall sound of each song. Each song is pretty guitar and drums forward. Which is a different sound compared to LH1, that had more of that ‘wall of sound’ style to it.

1. All I Want by LCD Soundsystem

In this song the narrator realizes they’ve been neglecting their lover and wanting to fix it but at the same time feeling like all they deserve is pity.

“You learn in your bed

You’ve been gone for too long

To put in the time

But it’s too late to make it strong

Now all I want is your pity

Or all I want is your bitter tears”

This songs lyrics gave me a lot of the same vibes as More by 5 Seconds Of Summer and Place In Me by Luke Hemmings. All three of these songs are from the pov of someone in a relationship where something gets lost in translation. Whether it be bad communication, neglect, or other problem.

2. Narcolepsy by Third Eye Blind

Narcolepsy was written about a band member’s multiple sleeping disorders and how they affected him. This song uses a lot imagery to convey that this “post sleep-paralysis” state they feel trapped in.

“I try to keep awake

But I, I can feel this narcolepsy slide

Into another nightmare”

Narcolepsy is chronic sleep disorder that can cause sudden sleep attacks, loss of muscle tone, & even hallucinations. The narrative comparing to their way of living as if trapped in a narcoleptic/post sleep-paralysis state shows that they feel like the are suffocating and dying even though they are living. This songs lyrics remind me of Starting Line and Mum by Luke Hemmings. In Starting Line, Luke talks about how he feels like he is missing parts of his life, as if years went by without him truly processing that. And in Mum, Luke talks about loving the fear of falling and feeling like he is drowning in the ocean.

3. Queen by Perfume Genius

Queen was praised as “the best gay anthem” of the year. In this song the narrative shows that he isn’t afraid if others see him as “cracked” and “peeling” because he is confident in who he is as a gay man.

“Don’t you know your queen?

Cracked, peeling

Riddled with disease

Don’t you know me?”

This songs lyrics spoke to me the same way the music video for Starting Line (Love Wins sign in the vid) did. Luke is trying to say he isn’t straight. That he is a gay man who is proud of who he is.

4. Everything Now by Arcade Fire

Written about the modern on-demand culture, Everything Now is a song warning us about our own greed and callousness as a society.

“‘Til every room in my house

Is filled with shit I can’t love without”

I truly believe this song is just a reflection of something we already know about Luke, that he is a big time of limited social media usage. We know that Luke isn’t the biggest fan of using social media often as he’d rather spending time doing something more meaningful like hanging with friends and family or working on music. Also the lyrics above kind of reminded me of these lines from More by 5 Seconds Of Summer:

“A house that’s full of everything we wanted

But it’s an empty home, empty home”

5. Like Eating Glass by Bloc Party

Like Eating Glass is about a “completely disoriented couple.” A couple who’s love seems to be dying out. For one reason or another the narrator’s relationship is failing and they feel hopeless because of this.

“It’s so cold in this house

I can’t eat, I can’t sleep

I can’t sleep, I can’t dream”

And at the end of this song you can understand that this is a married couple thanks to a line in the song with a line of traditional roman catholic marriage vows:

“For richer, for poorer, for better, for worse”

This songs lyrics says to me that Luke and Ashton had at time were they really weren’t seeing eye to eye. So much so that it was tearing this long term relationship apart. Also the line about marriage also helps confirm a running theory that Luke and Ashton were recently married*.

6. This Modern Love by Bloc Party

This Modern Love was written about a new love that is still very coy and playful. But also a love that’s taboo.

“What are you holding out for?

What’s always… (In the way?)

Why so damn absent-minded?

Why so scared… (Of romance?)

The significance of Luke choosing this song is that a straight couple isn’t considered a taboo love, but a homosexual couple is. So why would Luke choose this song if not because the relationship he is really in is in fact taboo?! And we know that Ashton isn’t necessarily a fan of marriage but he likes the commitment of it.

Also in the outro of this song is the line “Do you wanna come over and kill some time?” repeated three times which immediately reminded me of Kill My Time by 5 Seconds Of Summer.

“Do you wanna come over and kill some time?

Do you wanna come over and kill some time?

Throw your arms around me”

7. Living Proof by The War On Drugs

This song was born from the chemistry of the band as a live unit. I believe Luke chose this song more for the sentiment than anything else, as 5 Seconds Of Summer is a band that focuses heavily on having a killer live performance. Not only that but I think the first line is also a cheeky nod to Ashton:

“Banging on a drum”

8. Keep the Car Running by Arcade Fire

Keep the Car Running is a song about not giving up. That even when things get hard or when the narrator doesn’t come home to not give up on their relationship.

“Oh when, that it’s coming, keep the car running

If some nights i don’t come home

Please don’t think I’ve left you alone”

This songs also refers to a group as “they” and how this “they” only knows the narrator’s name because he told them. It also tells us that this “they” doesn’t know it but “it’s coming,” which to mean screams something big is coming that we aren’t ready for. Something that previously isn’t widely known about Luke, something like he is gay &/or dating his band mate for 10 years now.

“They know my name cause I told it to them

But they don’t know where

They don’t know when, it’s coming

Oh when, it’s coming, keep the car running”

The song finishes out with the line “Keep the car running” two more times. This is significant after the lines about [them] not knowing when or where “it’s” because this is Luke’s way of asking Ashton to not give up on them when whatever “it” is comes.

9. Creature Comfort by Arcade Fire

TW: Self Hate, OD-ing, SH, Starvation, & Suicide

Creature Comfort is a song about feeling the need to find “creature comforts” to combat self-loathing and suicidal thoughts.

“Some girls hate themselves

Hide under the covers with sleeping pills and

Some girls cut themselves

Some boys get too much, too much love, too much touch

Some boys starve themselves

Stand in the mirror and wait for the feedback

Creature comfort makes it painless”

In the past Luke has talked about struggling with his self image and how he used to be made fun of for being a bigger kid in school. These insecurities haven’t gone away completely for him, as he has said, but I think he is getting better. This song reminds me of Repeat by Luke Hemmings and Skinny Skinny by Ashton Irwin. In Repeat we also see some self loathing and also have the mirror image. In Skinny Skinny, Ashton talks about body dysmorphia. Body dysmorphia is not being comfortable in your own body due to (a) specific area(s).

10. Rebellion (Lies) by Arcade Fire

In the song Rebellion sleeping is a metaphor for complacency and conforming to society. This song also suggests that when we sleep we dream and those dreams are our escapes from our harsh and callous realities. Also there is an interesting call and response in this song where the narrator tells us freedom is achievable but in order to have freedom we have to rebel and stop conforming to society. This is the call in the song and the backing vocals provide the response, “Lies.” This is the band telling us that freedom is real we just have to fight for it while society at large tells us freedom is all a lie.

“People say that your dreams

Are the only things that save you

Come on baby, in our dreams

We can live our misbehavior

Every time you close your eyes (lies, lies!)”

I also think that those lines - “Come on baby, in our dreams / We can live our misbehavior” - are super loud. If dreams are a escape from our harsh realities, then living your “misbehavior” in your dreams could be a reference to a gay relationship. Think about it the “misbehavior” is them being together because it’s seen as wrong in the eyes of many people but Luke would gladly live “in [his] dreams” in order to be with Ashton.

*A separate post will be made covering the Lashton Wedding Theory so be on the look out for it.

Another that will be going more in-depth on the song Queen by Perfume Genius and other queer lyrics from this playlist will also be coming soon.

Luke did end up taking the playlist down/made it private after it was up for about 30-40mins but here is a link to a fan made version.

#luke hemmings #ashton irwin #lashton #5 seconds of summer #solo album #song analysis #playlist analysis #wfttwtaf #gay men #lyric analysis #Spotify

40 notes · View notes

i-swear-this-is-for-homework · 3 years

Note

What are your thoughts on the ending of the green knight? Little disappointed with it.

Ahhh thank you, my anonymous hero, for giving me the opportunity to ramble about this movie. I saw it last night and I’ve been thinking about it pretty nonstop. Disclaimer before I get into this: I’m not a proper medievalist. I am, however, an English student with a focus on British literature, so I’ve read a few different translations of the original source material and studied it fairly in-depth.

That being said, my first reaction to The Green Knight was… well, that it’s not really Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. Which is fine! Mostly. Every movie adaptation changes things from the source, but this one changed so much, so drastically, that I can’t really think about it as the same story. In the original poem, Gawain is a good (if inexperienced) knight who consistently keeps his promises and retains his honor right up until the very end of the story, when he lies about the green belt and refuses to give it to his host, Bertilak. The storyline of the movie seems to flip this? Gawain doesn’t start off as a good knight, or even as a knight at all, and in the movie he consistently fails to live up to knightly virtues throughout his quest. However, at the end he succeeds where the original Gawain did not, and voluntarily removes the belt (after that memorable flash-forward sequence).

To me, this is a fundamentally different story from the original. And I’m not mad about the character changes! A movie has to create a self-contained character arc in a way that the anonymous Pearl Poet did not have to. So to me, the movie seems to present the story of someone who must learn to accept death. Death (and rebirth) is certainly a major theme in the original, too, but I’ve always interpreted the og poem as placing more importance on honesty, chivalry, chastity, humility, and shame.

So the movie is telling a different story, with different themes. With that in mind, I guess it could make sense to skim over the 3 days of Christmas games and the kissing exchange in the original poem. However, even if it does make sense, I’m mad about it because I really liked the Christmas games and the kissing exchange in the original poem. I would’ve swapped out Gawain’s existential flash-forward sequence for a few good kissing exchanges in a heartbeat.

That being said, with the story the movie seems to be trying to tell I’m not terribly mad at the ending? Maybe? I’m still conflicted. I suppose the problem is that the themes feel very confused to me. The strongest one I can latch onto is the inevitability of death/ the importance of embracing the natural cycle of the world. With that in mind, Gawain’s vision of the future could be his realization that his life will, eventually, end, no matter what he does in the green chapel. His decision to remove the belt and face the green knight without its protection can then be seen as an acceptance of death, and the decision to die with honor and dignity. I’m not unhappy with where his character arc ends up here, considering he’s been framed as a screw-up since the beginning of the movie, but I’m left repeating #notmygawain because this is, again, a fundamentally different character arc from the original story. Again, I understand why they changed Gawain’s character for a movie. I just don’t like the changes very much.

I’m also not a huge fan of the cliffhanger (although I did love the final “Green Knight” title card!) mostly because all elements of cliffhanger are removed if you’ve actually read the original poem (or even just checked Wikipedia). Like, we know that the knight doesn’t kill Gawain. It’s not a new story. Although? I suppose this version of it is. So who’s to say whether he dies or not? I suppose the cliffhanger could work in the context of this adaption because, if we’re going with the ‘accepting death’ theme (which I’m still not sure about!), the outcome of Gawain’s decision doesn’t matter as much as the decision itself. We’ve seen him drift around the kingdom for almost 2 hours, breaking chivalric code, lying to his host, and overall being a pretty self-absorbed knight who’s terrified of his own mortality. The decision to accept death and embrace honor is the culmination of a character arc and seems like a fitting end to the movie. But I do wish we had gotten to see Gawain work more towards this growth through the events of his quest, rather than simply achieve it through a flash forward in time.

And I still think they should have left in the full three days of Christmas games.

Overall? This adaption was beautiful. Dev Patel is hot. And, more importantly (to me), this adaption felt right. The blending of Catholic imagery with pagan Celtic influences, the weird vibes, the use of title cards and the vaguely disconnected adventures was fun, and it felt more “Arthurian” than any other round-table-related movie I’ve ever watched. But I’m still not entirely sure what the story was trying to say, or if it said it. If you’re going to deviate from the source material this much, it’s my opinion that you’ve got to do it for a clear reason, to make a clear point, not just to subvert audience expectation. I’m not quite sure what the point of these changes were, or how the ending of the movie revealed the movie’s core thesis. It felt a bit more like a “gotcha!” from the director than a genuine end to Gawain’s story.

But, I mean, at least Dev Patel was hot.

#if this sounds wishy washy it’s because I’m still making up my mind #but thank you for the ask!#I’m seeing the movie again tomorrow hopefully I’ll be able to decide what I think about the ending by then #at the moment I’m not sure whether I loved it or hated it #it was so pretty! Dev Patel is so hot!#but like… the Christmas games. why would you cut the Christmas games?#let me know what you thought! I am desperate to hear how other people view this movie #also let me know if y’all had different interpretations of the movies themes or even the themes of the original poem #I’m not an expert I’m just an overly thoughtful English major with a new obsession #the green knight #sir gawain and the green knight

20 notes · View notes

yurimother · 4 years

Text

LGBTQ Manga Series Review - Kiss and White Lily for My Dearest Girl

The tenth and final volume of Kiss and White Lily for My Dearest Girl is finally out in English, and honestly, I expected this moment to feel more climatic. This long-running series debuted in 2013 and quickly became one of the most consistently popular Yuri works in the current era. However, perhaps because of its relative longevity, it always felt like the background; The consistently safe and trope-filled home I could return to after exploring new and exciting Yuri works. There is often something comforting about home, and many of the cute kisses and relationships featured are joyful and entertaining.

Kiss and White Lily for My Dearest Girl is a Yuri manga series by Canno. It follows numerous couples at Seiran Academy, a fictional middle and high school with a sister university. The common themes and tropes of the Yuri genre riddle the work. Some are seen in individual couple’s stories, while others, such as the all-girls school, style of uniforms, and repeated girl meets girl then love narrative. While these tropes are by no means a negative, being a fan of this genre would be impossible if they were, they are such old hat for Yurijin that they become dull, and Kiss and White Lily does little to forward or subvert them. In this way, the series feels like a showcase of the genre, a series I can thrust at people and say, “you want to learn about Yuri? Then read this” (an honor I usually reserve for Whispered Words). In short, the series is enjoyable but tiring and predictable.

Before I get into the spoiler-filled breakdown of each couple, there are a few overarching elements to note. It is achingly sweet, not in a heartwarming way, but an “I just a bit down on cake and have a cavity” way. Nothing in the first few volumes has any real consequence or impact; it is just cute and stupid. Now I like cute and stupid, but it has to be fun and enjoyable to read, and at first, this is not. Many characters lack chemistry, and often, the drama is caused by their own nonsensical choices rather than from the complications that come with relationships or friendships. If I do not like these characters together, I do not want to see them hugging and kissing and being cute.

You may have noticed that I spoke of how I enjoyed the series but then went on a rant about how weak the plot is. Fortunately, as the series goes on, the writing improves drastically. Characters who are in or are moving towards relationships, mostly, have compatible traits, and with stakes grounded in some form of reality. The What’s Behind the Story!? Sections, single pages devoted to the perspectives of random other characters and couples, are another welcome addition. Here, the lack of consequence or chemistry works, as each is given only a few moments to give a one-liner or snapshot of service.

The artwork in Kiss and White Lily suffers from a similar problem as the plot. It is too adorable for the sake of being adorable. Kurosawa reacts with a huge smile and sudden anthropomorphic ears far too often in the early volumes. There are other inconsistencies also, mainly in tone. For example, in the first volume, there is a moment where one character is being introspective and dramatic, when suddenly, in a moment of metaphoric imagery, another is holding a gun to her head. This scene is awkward and unnecessary. No other moment uses such visual tricks to illustrate emotional conflict, and it is completely removed from the rest of the work. Finally, the artwork is cluttered. Almost every panel has so much crammed into it feels overwhelming.

However, just as the problems with art and story are similar, so are the solutions, time. As Canno continues, the art drastically improves. It takes on a more consistent tone, relies less on visual tricks, and quickly becomes one of the series’ highlights. Seeing the characters be gentle and affectionate will put a smile on all but the most begrudged reader’s face, especially with the more likable characters. Canno also makes frequent use of beautiful double-page spreads, many of which I have bookmarked so I can refer to them when I need a smile.

Now that I have gotten those points out of the way, I can get down into the meat of Kiss and White Lily for My Dearest Girl, the couples. There is an explosive plethora of pairings in this series, and I love it. Each feels unique, has a compelling story (mostly), and a satisfying conclusion. Every reader will easily find their favorites or see their own life reflected in one of these cute couples.

Ayaka Shiramine and Yurine Kurosawa are the principal couple of Kiss and White Lily, and their courtship spans all ten volumes. Unfortunately, they start out as one of the weaker couples in the story. Shiramine is the model student, working hard, helping out at the school, and getting high grades. However, she is consistently ranked second in all tests (teacher’s side note here, publicly posting student’s grades has been shown in research to be horrible for student achievement by multiple studies) behind Kurosawa. However, unlike Shiramine, Kurosawa does not try at all; she usually sleeps through class and does not participate in school activities, and succeeds only by her “genius.” Kurosawa’s effortless achievements anger Shiramine, and she confronts her about it. However, Kurosawa is pleased by the notion of Shiramine beating her and begins to aggressively pursue a relationship (the aggressive gay woman is the worst trope. Consent and enthusiasm are a central part of romance).

In what seems to be a running theme for this series, Shiramine and Kurosawa’s relationships improve as the books go on. First, Shiramine becomes less of a stereotypical tsundere character, as her motivation for being the best is revealed, a cold and frankly awful mother who scoffs at her daughter’s achievements. Likewise, Kurosawa, who starts incredibly inconsistent, moving from peppy to cruel to bored within the span of a few pages, settles down into a more calm character, with her enthusiastic love for Shiramine intact.

The beginning of their romance was weak, mainly due to their personalities and lack of chemistry, but the end conclusion was incredibly satisfying. Kurosawa realizes that she came to love Shiramine because she thought the perfect student could beat her and make her a normal girl, not a genius. However, in the end, she realizes that it was not their grades, but the ways Shiramine drew her out of her shell and THE FRIENDS SHE MADE ALONG THE WAY that made her a better person. Shiramine changes too, becoming more courageous and finally standing up to her horrid mother, thus breaking the spell the woman had over her and freeing Shiramine of her burdens.

In the final volume, Shiramine realizes that she likes being with Kurosawa and that their rivalry was her favorite part of the school. These feelings are all admitted in a fantastic speech she gives to the incoming students. I was smiling throughout the whole second half of Volume 10 as their relationships reached its inevitable conclusion, and for that, I offer praise.

Mizuki Senoo is the star of the track team where Moe Nikaidou, her longtime friend, is the manager. These two are one of my favorite couples, but they also have the most problems of any. Both girls are entirely captivated by and devoted to each other, so much so that they become codependent. However, the way they address this codependency is horrible. Moe suddenly stops talking to Mizuki, which severely distresses the athlete and leads to poorly written angst. There is no logic, only nonsense choices made for the sake of plot. Of course, they resolve the issue, everything is happy and pleasant, and they decide to be together forever. And then (and this is my favorite part) they graduate and go to university and live together! This action is perhaps the one time that Kiss and White Lily manages to forgo the conventions of the genre and begins to approach queer representation. Mizuki and Moa are no longer bound by the walls of the high school, the confines of Catholic school style uniforms, the tropes of Yuri, but they are free adults who love each other and are together. It is a perfect ending, which does not excuse the atrocious middle.

Volume 2 introduces to Chiharu Kusakabe and her roommates Maya Hoshino and Ai Uehara. These three are close and live together perfectly. However, as Maya is older than Ai and Chiharu, she will be graduating soon and leaving them behind. Chiharu struggles with her conflicted feelings for her senpai, with whom she has fallen in love. On the one hand, Chiharu wants Maya to be happy and go to a good university; on the other, she selfishly wants her to stay close. Chiharu begins to close herself off, but then she meets the stubborn (idiot) Izumi Akizuki.

The two girls start a sort of reluctant friendship, where Chiharu waits outside the school each morning to chastise Izumi for riding her bike, which is against school rules. However, Izumi does not stop riding her bike, and Chiharu never reports her. They grow closer, and Izumi helps Chiharu reconcile her relationship with Maya. Eventually, they start dating. It is all cute and wholesome. As these two get together early in the series, the reader has lots of time to enjoy them being together as they appear frequently. The conflicts in their relationships are grounded in reality, and working through them together has a clear positive effect on the character. The only complaint I have is that after they start dating, they mostly keep it a secret for no reason.

Towako Mita and Yukina Ooshiro are one of the worst couples in the manga. They are the only members of the gardening club, although they eventually recruit Kurosawa. As the club is so small, it is always on the edge of dismantlement, as the student council wants to move resources elsewhere. While Ooshiro works to save it, Towako is actively working behind her back to end the club. Her reasoning, she does not want things to change. That’s it, full stop, it is complete nonsense. Of course, they make up and decide to be together with an equally illogical apology. If characters are going to hurt others and then be forgiven there must be effort, reason, and care put into them, traits all lacking in this story. It is all awful.

The fourth volume is a mix: containing some of the series best moments and its worst, by which I mean, most boring. Moe and Mizuki’s romance reaches the spectacular crescendo previously referenced. But, half the volume is spent depicting Kaoru Machida, Kohagi Inoue, and Momiji Shikama. The relationship between these three is focused more on friendship than sexual or romantic desire (cough cough S). Actually, I do not mind this at all, but they. Are. So. Boring. I honestly forgot they existed in the first draft of this review and had to reread Volume 4 to remind myself of them. The fact that I am writing about this process instead of the actual characters says a lot about their lack of appeal.

Sawa Itoh and Itsuki Nishikawa are equally forgettable. They are easily the most mundane romantic couple in the series. The two knew each other long ago, but Sawa forgot about their friendship, much to Itsuki’s disappointment. However, they bond again as high school students and vow to make up for the lost time. Their story ends with Itsuki confessing her feelings for Sawa. Sawa returns those feelings in kind FIVE VOLUMES LATER. That is far too long to wait for a dull ending. NEXT!

Ryou Hiramu, Nina Yuunagi, and Amane Asakura make up Kiss and White Lily’s only three-person relationships and is one of the best. Polyamory is not everyone’s cup of tea. Still, in the context of fiction, their relationship works well and develops excitingly, complete with a healthy dose of melodrama. Hiramu begins to grow close to Asakura, much to the anger of Asakura’s roommate Yuunagi. Yuunagi wants Asakura all to herself, a point made abundantly clear to Hiramu. However, things get more complicated when Hiramu realizes that Yuunagi is an online friend of hers.

Yuunagi feels incredibly lonely, and her only real friend is Asakura. But, when Hiramu shows her kindness, Yuunagi begins to fall for Hiramu. Yuunagi feels incredible guilt over this, swearing that she should only need Amane and not wanting to compete for Hiramu’s affection. Their tale ends when a distraught Yuunagi runs away before being confronted by Hiramu and Asakura. There, in a tearful confession, she released her jealousy, her guilt, and her confusion. Despite being overblown, it is one of the most relatable and truthful emotional moments in the manga. The solution, Yuunagi does not have to choose; she can have more loves. It is a mature answer that, while not ideal for most, makes sense here and is healthy for all the characters.

The next volume focuses on Haine Aoi and her close in age aunt Aika Yukimura (who is more like her sister). Before anyone breaks out the pitchforks or plants this volume next to Citrus on their bookshelf, the relationship is not sexual. This intention is explicitly shown in a scene where Aika contemplates kissing her sleeping niece (creepy) but decides against it, saying, “I don’t actually want to kiss her.” This moment deliberately and awkwardly setting the parameters of their relationships as not sexual. However, there are clear romantic implications. As the two struggle with the idea of drifting apart as most “sisters” do, they decide that this will not happen to them, and they will only grow stronger together. Ultimately, they declared themselves to be soulmates, albeit platonic ones.

This relationship is the most divisive of the series. There will be some, such as myself, who can acknowledge the apparent class s ties and the familial relationship yet can still enjoy the wholesome and grounded story. However, many others will understandably have difficulty overlooking these aspects of the narrative. I invite readers to give this volume a look and decide for themselves. Even if it turns out that Haine and Aika’s storyline is not for you, Shiramine and Kurosawa are at their best here and will save the volume for you. However, whether or not you like this couple, can we all agree that the decision to feature a major story act about a piano player (Haine) and NOT include a piano duet is INSANE!! Canno is not at all coy with Yuri tropes in this series, and this exclusion will not stand!

Nagisa Tatsumi and Hikari Torayama are rivals, opponents in the student council president election, and secretly roommates. The two live together by necessity, with their adorable kitten. Neither one can stand the other. However, when given the opportunity to separate, they decide they would prefer to continue living together. There is not much here. Even though one is labeled as “nice” and the other “mean,” Nagisa and Hikari have the same personality. The other “tsundere” type character in Kiss and White Lily, Shiramine, works because she is given time to grow and develop as a complicated character and because she is paired with someone different than here. Unfortunately, aside from some cute trope-filled moments like an accidental kiss, these two are insignificant. But. perhaps I am too hard on them, as I am conditioned to expect Yuri featuring characters named Nagisa and Hikari to be far more dramatic, grandiose, and interesting

Asuka Sakurada and Mikaze Hagimoto are the final couple introduced, as the next and final volume is only concerned with wrapping up previously established relationships. A shame, as they are the single most problematic and dysfunctional couple presented. Sakurada and Hagimoto are both cosplayers, which is how they meet, and the younger Hagimoto quickly asks Sakurada out. Sakurada is awful. She is cruel, detached, and rude to almost everyone. After an injury forced her to repeat her final year at Seiran Academy, causing her to be somewhat jaded, to say the least. What little the reader sees of their romance, which last all of a dozen pages, is appalling. Sakurada is mean and unaffectionate, and Hagimoto attempts to force her into activities she does not want to do. They break up quickly, and the rest of the volume plays out like a tragic love story, as Hagimoto pines for her senpai, and Sakurada says dramatic lines about how she “can never go back.” Of course, by the end, they have made up and are together again.

Not only are we giving this vile relationship, but excellent moments of emotional distress are wasted on them. For example, Hagimoto delivers a tearful and moving speech on a train platform. There is also a rare moment of clarity from Hagimoto, where she realizes that she did nothing to make the relationship work, followed by an admittance from Hagimoto that she just wanted to be more like Sakurada. Now, characters realizing their mistakes and faults to move forward and become better, as individuals and a couple is incredible; however, there needs to be a solid foundation. The unfortunate truth is that such tragic and dramatic relationships take time and investment. The reader needs to want to see these characters get better and make up, something notably lacking here. This awful partnership tarnishes the beautiful scenes present.

Fortunately, Volume 9 is not a total loss, far from it. Shiramine and Kurosawa complete their personal arcs described previously in this review, thus clearing the way for Volume 10 to finally have them get together, perform a quick survey of the other characters, and tie up any dangling story threads in a bow covered with cute kisses and gentle service.

Kiss and White Lily for My Dearest Girl is an incredibly mixed bag of a series. It gives a wide variety of couples and tropes for the reader to enjoy, but many of the relationships suffer significantly from weak characters or uninteresting storylines. Its mediocre start does not help the series. Early outings are noticeably lacking in all categories from plot to artwork, which provides a difficult barrier for entry. However, there is a lot to love here. It is a spectacular showcase of Yuri and an absolute classic of the genre’s current era. Kiss and White Lily is THE YURI MANGA, a title that bears both the great and terrible of the genre.

This series concluding publication feels appropriate for the genre’s centennial. The tropes it features, which have paraded the genre for the past hundred years, will not go away. But, the conclusion of Kiss and White Lily feels, at least for the moment, like their last hurrah before stepping back to let a new century’s worth of newer and queerer works make their mark in the genre.

Ratings: Story – 6 Characters – 4 Art – 7 LGBTQ – 8 Sexual Content – 2 Final – 5

Kiss and White Lily for My Dearest Girl, Vol. 10 review copy provided by Yen Press ( @yenpress )

You can get the series digitally and in print today: Kiss and White Lily for My Dearest Girl, Vol. 10 - https://amzn.to/34k8sAj

#yuri #reviews #kiss and white lily for my dearest girl #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+#girls love #gl #wlw #gay #manga #anime #literature #books #queer

394 notes · View notes

aubrey-plaza · 4 years

Note

hope you're doing good during this crazy time! was wondering if you have any recs for crossbow canary fics to read?

so I have another fic rec list here that also has some dinah x helena recs so check that out too if you need more.

You can always go to the tag and sort by kudos but the ones below are some of my absolute favourites and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do :)

Crossbow Canary / Dinah x Helena:

In my darkness I remember

by ThanksForListening / @thanks--for--listening (13.154, complete)

summary: Helena gets stabbed, Dinah blows her powers, and everyone needs therapy.

notes: this is hurt/comfort at it’s FINEST. Two chapters, one from each POV with a delicious exploration of backstory and characterisation, and a story that will rip your heart out still beating. It’s a beautiful fic and honestly, any words I say won’t do it justice and you should just read it.

would you like to cuddle under my weighted blanket?

by tonksremus (3721, rated M, ½ chapters)

summary: Dinah discovers Helena’s weighted blanket and then decides to wife her. Really. That’s the basis of this entire fic.

notes: there are simply no words to describe how fucking hilarious this fic is. Even before the big laugh out loud moment, the author sets up smaller bits and pieces for you to laugh over and the whole time I was reading it I had a smile on my face. I recommend not reading this in public. I don’t think I have ever laughed so much while reading a fic. Add to that a delicious cameo by Poison Ivy and great characterisation all around and you’ve got yourself a pretty stellar piece of writing. I cannot wait for the second part to this!

hoping to find (what i can’t figure out yet)

by sinandmisery / @sinand-misery (6863, T, wip)

summary: “I realized after I got to my class, I never got your name.”

“Oh, um- Helena.” She stands, hand outstretched awkwardly for a handshake. “Helena Rosa.”

“Dinah Lance,” she says, laughing as she shakes Helena’s hand. Her hands are cold from the bottles of beer, but Helena’s hands are warm - so warm - and Dinah doesn’t want to let go.

OR;

The college AU where they become friends and fall a little bit (a lot) in love.

notes: anybody who knows me knows I don’t read WIPs. full stop. I try to keep up and really love supporting my friends but wips are just so hard for me to keep up with and YET. There’s this college AU that’s so riveting and well written that I eagerly await the email that brings the next chapter with it. There’s intrigue and a solid backstory laced with a delicious banter and characterisation that’s just *chefs kiss*. I love it so much I made a social media AU for it.

For a Little While Longer

by Ciocco / @suolasirotin (1664, rated T, tw in story notes)

summary: ‘Psychologically speaking, vengeance rarely brings the catharsis we hope for.’

Helena has a choice to make.

notes: the way this was written had my throat in a knot and my chest warm the whole way out despite knowing that it would end well and there’s a beauty to the prose and the internal monologue that gives it such an authentic feeling. Your heart will hurt for Helena and sympathise and the way this moment was written, you will want to be drawn to Dinah. It’s so well written and I keep coming back to it.

i don’t wanna be your friend (i wanna kiss your lips)

by MontagueBitch (porcia_catonis) (1090, G)

summary: Helena practiced this moment in front of her mirror a dozen times, and somehow, it still doesn’t come out right. How typical.

notes: Helena is a goddamn disaster and I love her so much. This fic reads like a movie, perfectly described with the right amount of dialogue and feels so natural and like them.

Quarantine Oneshots / Chapter 17 - You’re So Vain

by BlueJay_Silvertongue (1588, rated T)

summary: Helena and Diana attend a funeral in Italy, and Dinah finally confronts her feelings for Helena.

notes: so this is I think the second one shot in this series that’s CC, but in the first one it’s basically revealed that Diana and Helena sometimes sleep together. Still, it’s a short piece and manages to be so compelling and really stuck with me and I keep coming back to it. Part of a quarantine collection so I’m p sure author is doing a ficlet a day and I have to say the notes at the end are really uplifting as well!

I Don’t Deserve This (You Look Perfect Tonight)

by Dash_El (1168, rated G)

summary: “What’s wrong, Helena?” Dinah asks curiously. “Never danced with another girl before?”

“No, it’s not that.” Helena’s arms are rigid, her hands balling up into fists. She breathes out slowly before admitting the truth. “I’ve never danced with anyone before.”

notes: is there anything better than two people slowdancing together? the answer is yes: this fic. It’s slow and simple and practically evokes the imagery in your head.

I’ve been at war for so long.

by D_writes (2235, rated G, will leave you hungry)

summary: One shot exploring a bit of Helena’s Italian heritage and some habits she brought with her from the old continent.

notes: Carla Lalli Music said Love is a thing you can taste, and she was right. I love a fic based around food and eating because what’s more caring that wanting your loved ones to be well fed? The Italians are good at this and having Helena connect with that part of her heritage and basing a story around it? Absolute pinnacle of poeticism.

Pegasus

by catfishofoldin99colours / @catfishofoldin99colours (3617, rated G)

summary: A chilly rooftop evening, half a bottle of brandy down her throat, and the entire sky mapped out above. Not what Dinah imagined when she’d first thought of kissing Helena, but she’s not one to argue with the universe like that.

notes: will I ever stop recommending this fic? unlikely. I am a SUCKER for pining Dinah. Most fics in the tag are written from Helena’s pov but the absolute deliciousness that is a yearning Dinah is just. There are no words. They’re so goddamn awkward and I love them so much.

Sleepover

by emmer_gency / @cleanquean (4549, T, wip)

summary: It’s not like Dinah doesn’t realise she’s got it bad for Helena; she knows that all too well, thank you very much. The problem is, what the hell do you do about it when it’s right there in your face, at work, at home, in your kitchen and in your bed? And how do you keep Harley Quinn from unintentionally ruining all of it?

notes: I just. I love this fic so much. Harley is the perfect foil these two morons being incredibly awkward around each other but I still just cannot get enough.

i’d like it if you stayed (and i like you)

by mess_is_mine (3269, rated E)

summary: Living together, when Dinah hasn’t been laid in months, when they’re spending their nights in situations that get Dinah’s adrenaline going, when Helena has a habit of walking around in sleeveless shirts or even just a sports bra and low slung joggers?

Yeah, it was only a matter of time before Helena walked in at an inopportune moment.

notes: this is. very hot. features a very pent up Dinah being walked in on and hot and (surprisingly) tender smut.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace

by zxywrites / @zxyjxy (3790, explicit)

summary: They have sex in a church. Not sure what else to say.

notes: relapsed gay catholics unite! but seriously, note I didn’t put an E but instead wrote out the word explicit. It’s explicit. They’re in a church. and yet, my favourite line isn’t a piece of smut but instead a section of gorgeous prose sprinkled throughout this story that really elevates it from being gratuitous smut to something absolutely beautiful. But it’s also really hot.

no fic specifically but all of @thewomanofwonder / thewomanofwonder’s stories are good!

and of course you can read the fics I wrote

Happy reading, Anon!

#fic rec #crossbow canary #dinahelena #dinah x helena #friend tags #anonymous #anon #ask

90 notes · View notes

goodbyevanny · 4 years

Text

All-girls school AU - Good Omens

This has since been edited and posted on AO3!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22201279/chapters/53005516

Writer’s note: I saw a prompt on tumblr, and it hit me hard, as I went to an all-girls Catholic school and definitely did my fair share of pining over my best friend. That said, I’m in the US, in a very specific part of the country. So, in the spirit of write-what-you-know, the setting is in the US, and you will see some culture references to that. Keep in mind this is an AU. I’m gonna be honest, this is just a lotta self-indulgent wish fulfillment and me working through my own issues.

Summary: Aziraphale Angeles has been given a fresh start as a first year at prestigious all-girls Catholic school and she LOVES it. She’s finally being left alone by her family, and she loves her uniform, her books, her tea. It’s practically Eden, if only she didn’t keep running into that trouble maker, Antonia J. Crowley! She does NOT need more questions in her life...

Rating: T

Warnings: Main characters both experiencing and participating in fat-shaming, homophobia, transphobia. Aziraphale grew up in a very religious, patriarchal household and her views will be in line with that upbringing. Of course, this will change through the story.

It will begin, as always, in a garden.

It was the second week of starting at Immaculate Conception Preparatory Academy for Girls, and Aziraphale Angeles was feeling guilty over just how much she was enjoying herself. When the term had started, she hadn’t been sure as to what to expect, but so far it was surprisingly, well, wonderful.

Honestly, she had expected to hate it. The Holy Angels University system was designed to so that you could spend the entirety of your academic career within it (and, in her family’s case, even after) and Aziraphale had known from when she was very young that she very likely would. This meant that entering high school was a simple matter of walking up a very steep hill to a new building. Her classmates, for the most part, had transitioned with her, and of course, she had a plethora of cousins in the school as well.

She had anticipated her troubles from her younger years following her here, schoolyard taunts of ‘Azira-FAIL’ echoing in her head. She’d imagined being ostracized at lunch, eating at the end of a table filled with family and their friends, only being acknowledged with the occasional snide comment about how much she was eating, and how she never pulled her nose out of a book.

But it hadn’t been like that at all. First, the homeroom that she had been placed in had none of her former classmates. As the most prestigious private school system in the city, students from all over matriculated in, not just from the associated middle school, so there had been plenty of new students to meet.

Even better, her homeroom was presided over by the head of the Theology department, which was always one of Aziraphale’s best subjects, and she’d managed to impress her professor on the first day. She was given the job of class rep, and that alone had given her the kind of protection and independence she had craved in her younger years. At first student council meeting she received a gold brooch with the emblem of the institution: a heart, encircled by thorns, pierced by a sword, wreathed in flames. Aziraphale had wrinkled her nose when she had received it, annoyed by the heavy-handed, overlapping imagery. But even so, she felt proud to have it shining on her lapel.

It wasn’t just the pin she loved; it was the whole uniform. Her brand new oxfords, with the sharp contrast of white and black. The silky feel of her stark-white summer knee-highs. Her brand-new summer uniform, the polyester skirt in inverse eternity tartan, with the matching camel colored tartan blazer and tartan bowknot tie. Her starched linen blouse, neatly tucked in, and large white grosgrain bow, perched like wings atop her perfect high ponytail. Or at least, her attempt at a perfect high ponytail. She found her white-blonde curls rather refused even the most maximum hold gel or hair spray, so by the end of the day a cloud of frizz had usually fought free it’s constraints and made it look like a haze or halo around her head.

Also, the high school was much more lax in how it corralled its students. Meaning, classes were held at regular times, and it was up to you to make sure you attended the correct number of sessions every week; other than that, your day was free for independent study. Aziraphale was allowed now to spend almost the entire day in the library, or quiet classrooms with cozy window nooks for reading. Combining that with her class rep pin, which allowed her to roam the halls as needed, she felt free for the first time in her life. It was heady.

Her evenings had been a delight of tea and cocoa, cozy blankets and books now that she had moved into the dorm. Her cousins, including Michael, were all in the upper years’ dorms, so after dinner, she didn’t even have to see them. Even better, some combination of her family’s connections and her pristine academic record had scored her a single room. The only thing that had disturbed her peace so far had been the loud music coming from the room across the narrow hall, but even that had been turned down when she knocked on the door, without her needing to say anything.

She knew this peace wouldn’t last, but for now it was all just so lovely.

Now, two weeks in, she was comfortable in her routine. She was in the back of Professor Tracy’s classroom, where there were several very cozy chairs set on a plush, if worn out, rug. It was one of her favorite classrooms so far; set on the third floor, overlooking the school’s science building and extensive gardens. The chairs were set in front of an unlit fireplace that probably didn’t even work, but Aziraphale thought gave a nice ambiance to the room. She was quite comfortable and, having already completed attending the necessary lectures earlier in the week, full intended to camp out in this chair for the rest of the day. She’d plugged in the electric kettle on the nearby shelf, intending to enjoy a cup of tea with the pastry she smuggled out of breakfast in her handkerchief. She’d gone so far as to carefully unlace her oxfords and set them next to her book bag, so she could tuck her feet under her.

Today she intended to begin on the recommended reading list that had been provided to her by the terrifying University library assistant, and had checked out the few books that were carried by the high school library. While she waited for the kettle to be ready, she stared out the diamond paned windows that arched upwards, almost reaching the painted tin ceiling. It was probably the best view on Mt. Eden, overlooking the gardens and orchards that tumbled down the hillside to the valley below. Her eyes traced the highway that hugged one side of the mountain, only to then twist away into the distance, raised high above the valley so it nestled between the treetops.

She could see dark clouds gathering at the edge of the valley and could see it would likely rain soon. Thankfully, she didn’t have any classes in the science building, which was detached, but she had her white ruffled umbrella with her anyway, and thought she might come up with some sort of excuse to go outside with it later today. Her brother had brought it back from Japan, and she was somewhat eager to use it, even if it wasn’t really needed.

She had just settled in with her cup of tea, taken a bite of the pastry, and read the first page of Dangerous Angels when Professor Tracy interrupted.

She hadn’t meant to interrupt her, of course. Instead, the teacher who was rapidly becoming her favorite professor was standing at the windows, peering down in the direction of the orchards. “Oh no, Mr. Shadwell. Ohhh leave them alone, they’re fine,” she fretted, and then finally reached for the hand crank to open the window. As soon as it was swung open, she was calling out and waving, “Mr. Shadwell! Mr. Shadwell! Oh dear, I don’t think he hears me, Sargeant Shadwell!”

Well. There would be no reading through that nonsense. Aziraphale untucked her feet and wandered in her socks up to the window to look out, and immediately saw the problem. From this vantage point, it was easy to see the three girls lounging in the stone circle at the center of the orchard, and farther up the hill, the insufferable Mr. Shadwell making his rounds. The last call out of Professor Tracy had stopped him in his tracks, leading him to stand, eyes roving over the building, looking for the offending distraction.

There was no time to waste. Aziraphale was already back in her chair, shoving her feet in her oxfords and desperately tying up her laces. She’d have to leave her things, but she thought it would probably be fine, as Professor Tracy and her had an understanding...and with one last glance around she snatched up her umbrella and ran out of the room.

Aziraphale hated running. It conjured up the worst memories for her, sweating and taunted in gym class, in white T-shirt that she felt was unnecessarily tight. Michael, her cousin, laughing and pinching the flesh above where Aziraphale’s gym shorts dug in. “Like a fat frosted cupcake,” she teased, and the nickname had stuck. It had taken over a year before Aziraphale could eat cupcakes again without furious tears. (Not that she had give up eating them, though, because Michael was not taking that away from her too. She just sniffled through through deliciousness.)

Yet now she was running, out of the classroom, down the hall, and then down the stairs in leaps and bounds, taking multiple steps at a time and then out outside, down more steps towards the STEM building and the accompanying gardens. She had recognized one of the students from the orchard immediately: Eve. They’d met in homeroom, and had started a tentative friendship; at any rate, Eve saved her a seat every morning and afternoon in their homeroom.

The heat outside was oppressive, even with the increasingly storm dark skies, the humidity instantly freeing wisps of curls to halo her face and fluffing her ponytail. She tried to smooth the white blond strands back against her scalp even as she ducked behind an impressive hedge of oleander, trying to see where Shadwell had gotten off to. She sighted him as she passed the long line of towering cypress that ran alongside the driveway behind the school. He was shouting up at Professor Tracy, who was hanging partly out the window, obviously hoping to catch the notice of the students and get them to move. Shadwell sounded apoplectic, and was alternating between stomping his feet and vigorously pointing at the professor.

Aziraphale hurried down the limestone steps at the edge of the slope to the gravel path that wound through the orchard, gritting her teeth as sweat began to drip between her breasts and collect along the underwire of her bra. Eve and her were going to have words this afternoon in homeroom over this.

When she reached the stone circle, she pulled up short. Eve was there, sure enough, with her long dark curls, lustrous eyes and smooth complexion. Aziraphale couldn’t help but return a helpless smile as Eve caught sight of her and grinned, a mischievous brow arching. But Aziraphale’s smile faltered when she caught sight of Eve’s company. First, there was a boy. Wearing their uniform, no less. Where had he even gotten it? From Eve? What was she thinking? If she was caught with a boy they would be expelled! And her other friend—Aziraphale gave this second girl a look over. “Good Lord,” she muttered.

This second girl lounged on the stone benches that made up the ring of circle, long legs spread out before her and weight resting on one arm, while the other was propped up on her bent knee. The only thing that kept it from being ridiculously lewd was that she wasn’t wearing the skirt uniform. Instead, she was wearing the pants, in the black eternity tartan, completely out of season. Her matching blazer had been tossed over the bench behind her. Her shirt was untucked and her tie was tied like a boy’s. She was wearing what were likely very fashionable sunglasses, because they looked ridiculous, and her head tipped back so she could look down her nose at Aziraphale as if Aziraphale was the one that deserved to be judged.

But, worst of all, was her hair. Loose, like Eve’s, but carefully styled, deep red curls. It hung down her back in ringlets, and Aziraphale was sure it wasn’t naturally that color. No one had the right to that much color, on their head, it was obscene, and wasn’t that just the perfect word for this creature, she thought, as her eyes traced down the long line of her tanned throat, and did she have her top button undone?!?

Eve was laughing, “Oh c’mon, if you glare any harder you’ll burn a hole through them,” and the floozy had the gall to smirk.

Aziraphale whirled around to face Eve, hands on her hips, white umbrella still clutched tightly in one hand.”Have you lost your mind? What are you doing down here? With a boy?” She threw out an arm and waved it up and down to encompass the offending human, who was adjusting a pointless, but lovely, matching headband on their shaved head.

“Oh? Jealous already, Azira?” Aziraphale stepped back and her mouth fell open, eyes wide. “What? No! Of course not! I just,” and hold on, she wasn’t the one out of line here. “BOY!” she snapped back, and gestured again.

“It’s just Adam. We’ve been friends forever, Adam having such a time of it at the boys’ school, and Tony had the brilliant idea to have them hang out with us here! I mean, if they’re in uniform, and we just hung out in open classes, how would anyone even tell? We’re firsties, professors don’t even know us yet, really.”

There was so much wrong with that statement, and too little time to unpack it all. “You and I are going to have a talk after study hours tonight. But for now, Shadwell is doing his rounds, and you all need to get out of here,” she could already hear him cursing and sliding on the gravel at the top of the orchard. Tony–of course this delinquent would have a boy’s name–looked up the hill in what might have been a vaguely interested way, but it was impossible to really tell with those stupid sunglasses. Then, quick as a snake, she was up on her feet and was exiting the circle, one hand saluting with a “Ciao.” She slipped between the trees and was gone.

Aziraphale rolled her eyes, and went to follow, but Shadwell had spotted them. “I see you, ladies, stay where you are! Miss Angeles!” He was in sight of them now, but was slowed by the steep incline of the gravel path.

“Oh!” Aziraphale spun in a circle, fretting, and finally her hands flew to the gold brooch on her lapel. “Oh no,” she lamented, but there was nothing for it. She unfastened it and then quickly reattached it to Eve’s blazer. “Stay behind us,” she told the boy, who wisely hadn’t said anything so far, thank the good Lord, because she didn’t think she’d be able to handle any more idiocy at this point.

They barely had time to turn around when Shadwell burst through the bushes. “Out of class!” he spat. “Smoking? Drinking?”

“Please, Sergeant Shadwell, I think you know me a good deal better than that.” Aziraphale stepped forward.

She hated “cheating” in this way, but she also knew that it would take nothing short of a miracle to get Shadwell to get him to let this go. Angelic influence was required. And by that she meant, of course, the Angeles family name. Her family was the founding benefactors and remained the principal donors to the Holy Angels University System, and being a part of that family did come with certain privileges.

“Eve is a class rep with me, and um, Professor Tracy saw this student out of bounds so we were sent to escort them back in. For demerits,” she said, nervously tucking wisps of her white-blond hair behind ears.

Eve stepped forward and tapped the badge for good measure, trying to distract Shadwell from getting too close of a look at her companion. Although, Aziraphale really wished she hadn’t, because now Shadwell would ask—

“Hrmph. And where’s yours, then?”

“Oh, um,” Aziraphale glanced around like she actually expected to see it lying on one of the stone benches, and not like it was pinned to Eve’s blazer plain as day. “It’s around somewhere. Forget my own head next,” she smiled and laughed weakly, and prayed Shadwell didn’t ask why the girl behind them had no hair and broad shoulders. She was delivered, though, by a single distant bell toll. “Oh goodness, we need to get going to our next class! Thank you Sergeant, you’ll take over patrolling where we left off, yes? Ok!” And then she was steering Eve and the boy forcefully up the gravel path, through the break in the crumbling stone wall around the orchard.

It wasn’t until they were back in the building, the halls crowded with students passing to their next class that her heart started to calm. They followed her as she ducked down a side stairwell that lead to the basement level and pushed open the door on the distant side of Mt. Eden. The slope would lead to the bridge that connected their crest of Mt. Eden to the lower hill of the boys’ school.

She turned to Eve. “Ok, you have to get him back to his own school, he can absolutely not be here when classes let out for the day. All in all, this was a terrible idea and I can’t believe you let that girl tempt you into it!”

“Azira, thank you so much for coming to get us—

“No, best not thank me, I do feel a bit like I’m sending you into the lions’ den. I have no idea how you’re going to get him back on campus.”

Eve reached up to her lapel and began to unfasten the pin, but Aziraphale reached out and covered her hand with her own to stop her. “Oh, no need to worry about that. You can get it back to me another time. You better hold on to it for now, it might be useful.”

Eve smiled, dazzling Aziraphale, and then threw her arms around her, hugging her tightly, and for a moment Aziraphale was breathless. Just as quick, Eve stepped back and took up Adam’s hand, and pushed open the door. “I’ll see you at dinner!”

“You better!” Called out Aziraphale, but then the door swung shut with a heavy snap, and she wasn’t sure if she’d been heard. It seemed too final, and she wanted to see that Eve and that stupid boy were safe, so she headed up the stairs. She cleared the basement level, then passed the stairwell entrances that lead to the classrooms, one, two, three, floors. Here, a red velvet rope cordoned off the stairway, like an exclusive club awaited beyond, and she awkwardly stepped over it. When the staircase turned again for the next level, the marble steps gave way to concrete. There was a heavy wood door here, with a keyhole, but she knew it would open for her. She pushed it and now she was in an empty storage space, under the sloped roof of her school. It smelled musty and old, it was hot, but stronger than that was the sharp scent of cedar, which paneled the entire space; roof, floors, walls. All intended to drive away the moths, she supposed, because stacked floor to ceiling, across the wide space, were hundreds of books, stacked to the roof, forming twisting corridors interspersed with antique furniture. Aziraphale left this all ignored and picked her way through until she came to a ladder against the wall.

Looping her umbrella over her wrist, she climbed up until it reached the hatch in the roof, and leveraged it open with a strong, firm shoulder against it. It gave, flinging open and she made her way through. She was in the bell tower; the large brass ladies hanging heavy overhead, a choir of sixteen, ropes strung across the soaring space overhead. Aziraphale spread them only a quick glance of appreciation before she opened the side door and headed out onto the roof.

The roof was bordered by a white limestone crenelation, and Aziraphale stood behind one of the merlons to stay hidden from anyone looking up from the ground. She could see Eve and the boy approaching the bridge. Mercifully, it was cooler up here. She wasn’t sure if that was because the roof was able to better pick up the increasing breeze, or if it was because the storm was finally closing in. She reached up to smooth down her frizz against her head to no avail. She could feel it instantly curling back up.

“Well that went down like a lead balloon,” and Aziraphale wasn’t surprised to see Eve’s friend sauntering up to her. Because of course she would know how to get up here.

“I’m sorry, what,” snipped Aziraphale, already at her wit’s end with this girl.

“I said, ‘that went down like a lead balloon.”

“Oh, yes, rather,” snarked Aziraphale, because honestly, whose fault was that?

“Well it just seems a bit of an overreaction if you ask me, handing out demerits for sitting outside.”

Aziraphale rolled her eyes. “Yes, sitting outside and demerits, that’s definitely what you had Eve risk,” she said with another head to toe look over of Tony that shouted, you are as slow as you are pretty. A second lookover did not improve her opinion. Tony was still in the eternity tartan pants and black blazer, with her tie tied like a boy’s. As the breeze whipped her deep red curls back, away from her graceful neck, Aziraphale noticed a pair of long black snake earrings, twisting in loops down from her ears and definitely longer than allowed by the student handbook.

“Seems a bit ridiculous, though. Big stone seating area in the middle of an orchard, why put a bunch of benches up if you don’t want anyone to sit there? Why give us all this free time and the ability to sort our own schedules if they don’t trust us to go inside to class when we’re supposed to?

“Oh for g—for goodness sake, you brought a boy on campus! Eve could have been expelled!”

Tony smirked. “Eve, huh?” And anyway, the point is that we wouldn’t have even been noticed if we were allowed to sit outside. Doesn’t make much sense does it?”

Aziraphale could feel her face hearing. “Best not to question things. The rules are the rules, and they’re not that hard to follow. Just because something seems ineffable, doesn’t mean that it isn’t right.”

“Ineffable? Did you really just throw the word “ineffable” into conversation, just like that?”

Aziraphale answered with a glare.

“Just trying to give you some trouble,” she said, giving a blinding white smile.

“Well, I dare say you’ve succeeded. What were you thinking, bringing a boy on campus? And dressing him in our uniform, have you lost your mind?”

She paused because she could see how, across the bridge and down the hill, she could see Eve and the boy duck behind a crumbling stone wall as campus security drove by in a golf cart.

“A boy? You mean Adam?”

She really should have reported this girl when she had the chance. “YES. HIM. Who else would I mean?”

Tony shrugged and leaned her shoulder and hip against the merlon next to Aziraphale’s, somehow lounging while still upright. “I dunno. Adam’s probably more a girl than me, I figure. They certainly look better in a skirt.”

Aziraphale couldn’t help but glance down at Tony’s long legs, somehow making tartan pants look fashionable. They would just have to agree to disagree about that one. When her eyes came back up, Tony was smirking again, and the heat of the day seemed to have returned. Lightning flashed in the far distance, and they could see a curtain of rain begin to steadily make its way across the valley below.

“They’re going to get caught,” fretted Aziraphale, and she wasn’t sure if she meant in the rain or by security. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

Tony took off her sunglasses, hooking the arm of them in the V of her linen blouse, which only emphasised that yes, she really had left the top button undone. She peered down the hill and then back to Aziraphale, and frowned. “Aren’t you a class rep?”

Aziraphale’s brain had short circuited the moment she had met Tony’s eyes, no longer hidden by the sunglasses. ”What?”

‘“Didn’t you have a flaming sword?” Tony asked, reaching out and twirling a finger over Aziraphale’s lapel, thumb smoothing over the spot the material still indented in. “I’m sure you did. It was glittery as anything.”

Aziraphale had never seen anything like her eyes. Like harvest moons, golden to the point of glowing. “Oh, um. Yes.”

“Lost it in the mad dash, huh? Or did Shadwell confiscate it?”

And there was that damnable smirk again, which finally broke her out of the spell of Tony’s eyes. “Well, if you must know, I gave it to Eve,” she huffed, her face burning under Tony’s scrutiny.

“You what?!” Asked Tony, her smirk dropping into an open mouthed, genuine laugh.

“I gave it to Eve! She was trying to take Adam all the way back to the boys school, it’s dangerous! If she’s caught she could be expelled! So I said take the pin, don’t thank me, could help you get out of a tight spot, and don’t forget to be back before you’re missed. Oh, I do hope I made the right decision.”

Tony started to roll her eyes, seemed to remember she wasn’t wearing her glasses, and abruptly turned to look for Eve again. “Oh, I’m not sure an angel like you can do the wrong thing.”

Aziraphale’s heart sank a bit. Angel? What does she mean by that? Not that she cared what this delinquent thought of her, but she had thought she was being judged on the basis of her own merits, not by her family name.

“Well, thank you for the reassurance, I guess,” her ingrained good manners forcing her response. Lightning flashed, immediately followed by a boom crack of thunder overhead. The curtain of rain swept up the mountain, obscuring their view of Eve and that idiot Adam. Aziraphale hurried to open the umbrella and with a flick of her eyes, communicated to Tony she should step under it. Not a moment too soon, because the rain poured down around them. It was a tight fit, and Aziraphale could feel the heat from Tony’s body seeping into her body, from shoulder to hip.

They stayed there together, eyes straining to see their friends through the storm.

TBC

80 notes · View notes

chibivesicle · 4 years

Text

Golden Kamuy 244 & 245. The players continue to converge on something.

Chapters 244 and 245 are clearly set up chapters for the next ‘big’ thing that is going to happen in the manga.

I am happy to see that Sofia has returned and has made her way to Otaru! The chapter starts out with a flashback from when Sofia met Gansoku and Svetlana. She was able to learn that they met Asirpa after Kiro was killed and that she wanted to return to Otaru to visit her Huci.

She’s made it to the port town with her men and she’s come prepared with rifles. They have some Vetterli M1881′s so not the newest tech compared to the type 38s that the 27th has. What I love is that in a few panels her compassion and love for her men is so clear.

When she is told that another man has collapsed due to nutritional deficiencies like scurvy and beriberi, she will find a doctor to take care of them. Scurvy is a result of a vitamin C deficiency as it prevents proper crosslinking of collagen fibers.

Beriberi is comes from a result of eating overly refined or simple food. It was actually a huge problem for the early modern Japanese military as people shifted from eating brown rice (less processed more nutritional value) to white rice (empty calories to an extent). But I digress, the important thing here is that Sofia will make sure her men are well!

The action shifts to Tsukishima and Koito. They are playing a game called Menko (I’ll just roll with it) and Tsukishima seems to be taking it very seriously.

Since I pretty much know nothing about this nor if this is a proper activity for a young officer and a Sergent that is over 30, I will defer to Sei Kobiyama. Sei seems to indicate that they are acting like young children and this likely was started by Koito. Here are a series of comments on what this could mean.

I am going to agree with Sei Kobiyama’s take on this. Koito is holding onto a childish activity and it likely is how he wants others to spoil him like his older brother did. Tsukishima seems to be happy that he won back a card and Koito smacks him with another card in anger. He is acting like a brat, since he could do this with his brother who, previously, we estimated would have been the same age as Tsukishima.

Koito is seething (but he is also a very competitive man) and he tries to goad Tsukishima into going easy on him for not playing politics to help those ‘above’ him advance their own careers and in turn his own.

Tsukishima then instinctively feels something that activates his sense of danger. As he turns it reveals - Sofia! She’s so angry as they both seem confused as they see her.

She then turns away and it is interesting that Koito asks Tsukishima if he knows her He admits that he doesn’t know her, but his instinct tells Koito to stay away from her as she seems dangerous.

I wonder if this is foreshadowing to an eventual Koito and Sofia meet up. Long ago (in meta terms) I had really wanted Sofia to meet Koito and to have a discussion on how to lead men. This was also based on the fact that all officers speak foreign languages and we still don’t know which one Koito knows. He doesn’t know Russian like Tsukishima, Ogata or Tsurumi. As @goldenkamuyhunting and Merdopseudo have pointed out, the Japanese government followed the French for many things including military organization. We also know that Koito got his motorized tricycle from France. It seems that he should speak French and we know for a fact that Sofia can speak French.

What is important is we finally learn more about what Sofia saw during Kiro’s last stand. Sure enough, she knows that Koito and Tsukishima were directly involved in his death, what is interesting is the wound from Tanigaki isn’t considered . . .

But unlike Koito, or Tanigaki, or Sugimoto, she does not rush in to attack them. Instead, she controls her emotions and continues to look for a doctor for her ill men and learn how to meet up with Asirpa. This means that Asirpa’s comment on the ice floe was correct. Sofia will find her when she will need/want to. Sofia - she’s one of the best leaders in the entire series. Educated, compassionate, competent, understanding of many different sides! What is clear is that she will play a role in the tiger curse on Koito/Tsukishima and hopefully Tanigaki. Sorry Tanigaki, I never respected your quest for revenge when Inkarmat lived and gave birth to a daughter as well.

Tsukishima then tells Koito that they now have orders to head to Sapporo from Otaru and to wait for Tsurumi’s arrival. Koito seems nervous and almost hesitant as he doesn’t respond. Tsukishima seems worried as he speaks before Koito has a menko card he made with Tsurumi. Those are some decent drawing skills there Koito, and the poppies in the background are a nice touch if I say so myself.

Koito’s face seems conflicted here. I’ll willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that Koito’s former Tsurumi obsession has become a facade that he must maintain. I mean, if all of a sudden when Koito were to meet him post-injury and not fanboy Tsurumi, Tsurumi would be even more suspicious. I hope Koito is trying to move forward, yet still sort things out.

The action in the chapter then goes to Sapporo where Toni and Ushiyama are out and about. Ushiyama hears Ueji as he’s trying to do something bad to a kid. All in all, Ueji is not a character that I like. I was cringing the entire time he was talking to the young boy about finding his lost dog. I don’t care about his serial killer personal philosophy so I’m just ignoring most of the information about him.

Instead, we learn about the enjoyment he gets out of disappointing others. This comes from a random comment by Boutarou. We learn that Boutarou had an aunt, but she was a proper lady and ashamed of his actions as a relative.

It is clear that Boutarou did have an aunt like this as he wanted her to visit him. Ushiyama later tells him that he never saw this woman who looked like his aunt. So the sightings of her were a fabrication by Ueji, but the fact that he was disappointed to know it was a lie tells us that he did have an aunt at some point in time.

It just lets us know that Ueji lives on others disappointments. We know that Boutarou’s aunt never visited and it hurt him to realize that she didn’t care for him.

The chapter goes back to the boy finding his dog decapitated, the head in Ueji’s box and he then begins to strangle the boy to death.

Yay!

Okay, so that was clearly sarcasm, but thankfully Ushiyama appears and is ready to destroy Ueji.

Chapter 245 has a full color title page featuring Ariko, Kikuta and Tsurumi.

Tsurumi is clearly a reference to religious imagery as a Virgin Mary stand in. A beam of sunlight beams on him with his hands held up in prayer. As a recovering catholic, I didn’t even need to think twice about what this is showing with Tsurumi in a field of rifles.

As the title is that this is the town of reunions, it refers to Ariko and Kikuta; I wonder if this means they will be playing a greater role in future events? I am guessing this color title page will become important as the Sapporo arc continues more.

The chapter starts out with Ushiyama saving the small boy as he calls out Ueji. Noda serves us several pages of Ushiyama being, well Ushiyama. Briefly distracted by a ploy about a woman’s breasts from Ueji isn’t quite enough to allow him to escape and he gets face planted with due to his braided hair. Ushiyama rips out some of his hair and seems less than deterred. After taking quite a beating, Ueji tries to beg his way out of the punishment.

He tries to tempt Ushiyama with something amazing that has to do with the gold, yet it pretty much falls on deaf ears. Ushiyama’s translated reply of “sure, sure” doesn’t really give him much confidence.

It is clear by Ueji’s statement that things aren’t fun with Ushiyama, means he’s never been able to bewitch him with his silver tongue unlike other convicts. He flees the best he can, but Ushiyama is a tank. He walks through a wall and continues undeterred catching the attention of Kadokura and Hijikata.

Of course the reunion is about to happen as Sugimoto, Asirpa, Shiraishi, Boutarou and Vasily are enjoying some curry at the restaurant that they previously visited in Sapporo. I have to admit it is adorable that Boutarou has his hair tied up all proper for dinner and Vasily looks like Simo Hayha with his face uncovered. Sugimoto knocks his spoon over and as he bends over misses Ueji tossed through the wall by Ushiyama.

Despite all of the commotion, Boutarou is able to keep his bowl of curry and continue eating through the action, while somehow a bowl lands perfectly on Shiraishi’s head. The side eye that Vasily is giving Boutarou is clearly some silent Slavic judgement.

One clearly does not come between Boutarou and a meal. Asirpa is beyond happy to see Ushiyama as she is almost in tears at the reappearance of her professor penis.

Due to the shock the bowl falls off of Shiraishi’s head and Sugimoto is all of a sudden more concerned as if Ushiyama is nearby, he knows Hijikata can’t be far behind.

And Hijikata isn’t too keen on Sugimoto as he’s really a hindrance to Hijikata’s quest for the gold to create his Republic of Ezo. So being the tactician (and ass) that he is, Hijikata goes all out to take out Sugimoto.

Many readers of the manga are always upset when other characters attack Sugimoto, but out of the entire cast he is the biggest impediment to all the factions getting the gold. He is the least loyal; he has swapped sides from himself with Asirpa, to working with Hijikata to working for Tsurumi and now he’s back to himself and Asirpa. Keep in mind that he also was willing to sell Asirpa out to Tsurumi for 200 yen was pretty low. He has always been the brute force for the group he’s been in and all of his plans and assumptions are frequently incorrect or just really bad ideas. Pretty much the best thing that Sugimoto has done during the entire manga is to make sure to rescue Shiraishi from the 27th as he has been pretty smart at figuring things out and sticking with Asirpa.

Even as a huge Ogata fan, I’d state that him saving Ogata to only try to kill Ogata at the hospital was a terrible idea as Ogata has his own agenda, complicating the quest for the gold. If Sugimoto thought tactically, he should have let Ogata die on the ice floe. Sugimoto thinks Ogata is a wildcat just stirring shit up, but really the person who stirs up the most shit is Sugimoto himself.

Noda gives us several pages of nonstop action as the two of them fight intensely. Even though Sugimoto stabs Hijikata in the arm with his bayonet the man is undeterred and he has to block his sword with the bayonet.

Hijikata is just trying to do what didn’t happen at Abashiri, removing Sugimoto from the battle for the gold and gaining Asirpa.

Interestingly, Ushiyama is the one who restrains Sugimoto in an attempt to bring calm and logic to the situation. Very interesting to see Ushiyama using his head in this situation! This is definitely a low blow towards Sugimoto, Ushiyama is thinking more than he is.

Shiraishi and Asirpa join in trying to bring level-headed discussion as Asirpa is the one who calls for talking things over. She obviously doesn’t want to see conflict between any of these men and Shiraishi always favors retreat over conflict.

Hijikata appears calm and collected while Sugimoto seems to lose it as he just makes a random sound as his pupils almost roll up into his head and his scarf flutters in his ‘anger’ wind indoors. I say this is one of those moments where Sugimoto really just goes into beserker mode and decides his best option is to take Ushiyama. Now, seriously Ushiyama has judo skills that are even better than Sugimoto’s and it isn’t that he’s protecting Asirpa at this point. Instead, he’s ignoring everything that is being said to him and he goes on to judo roll Ushiyama into the floorboards.

But this is Ushiyama we are talking about, so he pops up with little effort and returns the favor to Sugimoto and the chapter ends.

I really don’t have any major comments on these two chapters. They have confirmed that Ueji is one of the most vile of the convicts, a child killer and also he wants to disappoint other convicts by hurting them through believable lies. I look forward to his death at the hands of someone in the cast.

Hijikata definitely has stepped up his game and it is clear that he sees Sugimoto as the biggest fly in the ointment. He set him up at Abashiri, we don’t know what else he was told by Ogata and honestly, he likely doesn’t care what is the truth or not. I personally think Hijikata likely appreciated Ogata’s attempt to snipe Sugimoto, since it would take him out of the game. Ogata killing Sugimoto would have been a bonus for both Hijikata and Tsurumi. If Sugimoto looks for sympathy from Hijikata’s group due to Ogata’s actions he likely won’t get it. Plus, Hijikata has always kept Ogata away from things as I’m waiting for him to reveal that he knew Ogata and Kiro were working together.

This really shows how under-equipped team Sugimoto is. Tsurumi has the resources of the 27th as well as the blind eye towards him from central. Hijikata has his own group with a wide range of resources and some buy in from the locals (not great though). Sugimoto has his stubbornness and if it weren’t for Shiraishi and Asirpa he’d be in rough shape in the quest for the gold. The fact that Shiraishi and Asirpa are telling him to talk means they see what situation they are in and the disadvantage that they have in the entire affair.

This reunion is clearly going to force Sugimoto and Asirpa into working with Hijikata again instead of his crazy idea of swooping in to steal the skins. I look forward to the next chapter to see what happens next.

#golden kamuy #golden kamuy meta #asirpa #sugimoto saichi #Shiraishi Yoshitake #ushiyama tatsuma #tsurumi tokushirou #koito otonoshin #tsukishima hajime #sofia golden hand #sofia #hijikata toshizo #boutarou the pirate #kiroranke #ogata hyakunosuke

15 notes · View notes

evilelitest2 · 4 years

Note

I have an impression that some fandoms (like Lord of the Rings, Warhammer or Berserk) attract Alt-Right/Neo-Nazis a LOT more than other fandoms (like Song of Ice and Fire). Is this fact problematic for those fandoms?

Oh this question is difficult because I keep finding myself fans of things that Nazis also like, so a lot of my time is spent trying to drive them away from things that I like. I’m a big Lord of the Rings and Berserk fan (not so much Warhammer) and Nazis showing up is a big problem. I”m just going to talk through the examples you mentioned as to why Nazis like themt

Lord of the Rings has a lot of themes that Nazis are attached too, its has the conservative theme of loss of glory as things were great in the past and steadily degrade over time, morality as an absolute, a great war, and a largely male dominated story. Nazis tend to be attrached to very mythological stories which Lord of the Rings is, which is deliberatley written Also the story is full of Catholic themes and imagery (though it is not an allegory cause Tolkien hated that. Finally, Nazis have a huge fetish for Nordic/old Germanic history, and Tolkien was a Oxford Professor in Norse/Germanic mythology, and LOTRS is both Catholic and Pagan in a way that Nazis like. So on a surface level the attraction makes sense. however if you aren’t you know...stupid....then Nazi attraction to Lord of the Rings makes no goddamn sense

Tolkien hated the Nazis. like he really really hated the Nazis, there is a great instance where he wrote a letter about how much he despises that the Nazis were ruining his field because people kept associating his work with the Nazis.

Lords of the Rings is about a bunch of people of different races unifying and putting aside their bigotry in order to fight against a force of evil, with people who are close minded or intolerant being shown as bad. No character in this work. In the background of Lord of the Rings, one of the major reasons why Gondor fell from grace was that one faction of their monarchs were super into fantasy race science and tore the nation apart (which tolkien shows as bad) and the Numenoreans are British style Colonialists and that is shown as a bad thing.

While Lord of the Rings has an almost all male cast, what is funny about LOTRS is how...unmaco the whole thing is. War is not presented as glorious but a sad necessity, and the characters who love war inevitably fall (Feanor, Boromir, Thorin) while those who hate war do better. Men are shown to cry regularly and are very emotionally expressive, and the book clearly values tenderness, mercy and softness more than traditionally masculine traits. Unlike most works which lack female characters, LOTRS doesn’t feel like it is about marking an male only space, it feels like he just forgot to include them. It is really telling that Tolkien was a Beowulf scholar, but his protagonist, rather than being a hyper masculine hero figure like Beowulf, is the sensitive kind and nonviolent Frodo.

Its also worth noting that as a vet of the first World War, Tolkien doesn’t seem enamored with the glory of war, in fact glory doesn’t play much of a role in his books, war is devastating and scars those involved, Frodo himself can’t find peace due to his battle wounds

Tolkien is really Catholic and as such there is a huge focus on forgiveness, mercy, and the inevitability of human failure and the importance sympathy. He is less interested in the power of WILL as fascist works often are, and more about the acceptance of weakness as part of human nature, hence why no person can ever actually throw the ring away.

Tolkien was also a bit of a Judeophile, he was really inter Jewish culture. He was also anti colonial, anti Apartheid (he was from South Africa), Tolkien’s work do have issues with race, but his issues were the anarchic views of race.

Finally, Lord of the Rings, while it does have some parts of it that are problematic, is in many ways anti conservative. It is nostlagic for the past, but characters who attempt to regain what has gone past (Elves, Sauron, Feanor) inevitable create more evil than if they had just accepted that the past is past and moved on. Despite his drawing on Norse mythology, the story is not about a dramatic last battle, but living in a changing fading world.

Berserk is...more complicated., Because while i’m a huge berserk fan, there are things in it that Nazis would like

Firstly, Berserk is a very Nietzschian in philosophy, its about the power of will, individual struggling against destiny, Great Man narratives with most people being idiots, super grimdark, anti Christian context, a mythic story, its hyper masculine and its ultra violent. And also quite sexist.

Gust at first glance could fit a sort of fascist idealized version of a man, and if you only read like the first two chapters of Berserk you might see it as something which Nazis would like it. Except what makes Berserk good is that it is beyond that, if it was just a violent power fantasy it would have faded with the 90s, what makes it good is when it moves beyond that sort of thing.

Even if you don’t read the story as a gay relationship between Guts and Griffith (and you are wrong if you don’t), it is about the self destructive nature of toxic masculinity, in fact that is what separates Guts from Griffith, Guts is able to start to move past his need to be cruel and open up, while Griffith doubles down and destroys everything he loves. I have a lot of thoughts on Berserk.

Warhammer Fantasy is complicated in terms of its relationship to fascism, if you are interested I can talk about that latter, but Warhammer 40k,while starting out as a punk anti totalitarian parody, has by this point become almost entirely co-opted by the Far Right in terms of fandom. Because its a grim-dark parody of totalitarianism that nevertheless creates a world that conforms to a fascist world view, and while the Imperium of Man is an evil administration, it is also the one we are expected to sympathize with as our primary point of view characters.

So it is really interesting that by a contrast, Song of Ice and Fire, despite being also a grimdark re-imagining of a popular genre, doesn’t really have a fascist fandom. So here are the reasons for it.

The story is pushing back against the mythologize of the middle ages that is so prominent in the fantasy genre, a mythologize that fascists themselves love. Martin depicting medieval society not as a time when things were were simple and there was a clear image of glory war, instead it is shown as being just as murky politically as the modern day

There are a lot of female characters and toxic masculinity is presented as bad. Also lots of homosexuality

Individual human will, while being a factor, is less important in the world of Song and Ice and Fire compared to the larger forces of history which are outside individual control

The story is explicitly anti Romantic and themes like “the Nation” The people” “Faith” ect, instead all of these are shown as construct made by people

The story is also humanist, and avoiding both the absolute morality so beloved by fascists, but also it doesn’t really demonize people, most characters are shown as a mix of flaws and virtues.

Interestingly some fascists do like Game of Thrones, but that is another matter.

#ask EvilElitest #Fascism #Tolkien #Lord of the Rings #Song of Ice and Fire #Berserk #Warhammer Fantasy #warhammer 40k

14 notes · View notes

doomedandstoned · 4 years

Text

Are You A Bible Basher?

~By Billy Goate~

Art by J. Hannan-Briggs

Words from the Bible,

...riffs from Hell.

This is BIBLE BASHER, a lumbering, sludgey beast of a death-doom band, drawing its fellows from Kurokuma, Archelon, Spaztik Munkey, and a band whose name alone intrigues me enough to spirit them out: Temple of Coke. The debut recording before us is 'Loud Wailing' (2020), just released last month on the Sludgelord Records Label and it's good stuff.

Chances are good that if you're unfamiliar with the band, you're waiting for the other shoe to drop: what's the agenda here? It bears mentioning that "Bible Basher" is an almost uniquely UK term. In the States, we tend to use the more politically acceptable (though still insulting) "Bible Thumper." Getting to the point: a Bible Basher is not someone who subjects the big black book and the pages there to beating, maiming, or otherwise spilling syrup on its Holy Writ nor turning its sacred pages into roll paper for a cheap high.

No, a Bible Basher is someone single-mindedly determined to bash you with their beliefs, clean across the head. You gotta get you on board with the whole worldview, the Last Days manifesto, the 3 steps to this place, the 5 steps to somewhere else, and however many more steps to the sanctuary doors. Usually, this evangelism has all the clumsy subtlety of a Jack Chick tract left on the Gas Station john. Sometimes it gets a bit more intrusive, like a manic street preacher with a megaphone or, more annoying still, a brainwashed politician determined to fence you into their highly selective idea of "God's Will."

All culture warring aside, it might surprise you to learn that I hold a great deal of respect for the Bible and believe it has an important role in developing our understanding of what makes human beings so fundamentally religious. The Bible is just one expression of people's religious and spiritual identity, of course. There have been many volumes written, by the gods it was said, attempting to reconcile the real and the ideal, time and eternity, the drab and the divine.

All fancy preambling aside, I wonder why more bands haven't gotten into the Bible and other sacred/profane lit, you know kinda breathing new life into old words? You have to admit, the concept is fascinating and the medium of expression surprisingly fits the unsparing nature of the content.

Perhaps afraid of appearing sacrilegious or being denounced as a Deicide wannabe, bands have just decided to walk away slowly. That or they don't even know how truly bizarre and sometimes brilliant the Bible can be. True, there are bands like Trouble/The Skull who have adapted Scripture into music, even succeeded in crossing over to a non-religious audience. Hell, The Byrds practically immortalized the words of The Preacher in Ecclesiastes back in '65 with that folk rock classic, 'Turn, Turn, Turn." Bible Basher are definitely onto a thing here.

Regardless of where you find a band called Bible Bash on the meter between "disgusting" and "fucking awesome, dude," they really aren't here to mock Scripture or Christians, not even to pronounce a value judgement. This is an artful attempt at retelling the stories of old, allowing us to gaze upon their vision.

☩

So Samson Sang

Loud Wailing by Bible Basher

Out of all books, The Bible is perhaps most prized for its collection of ancient stories, many of which become embedded in our collective consciousness over time (if not the unconscious mind itself). The tale of Samson, for instance, is practically universal (Hercules, anyone?). Bible Basher invoke its powerful imagery for this Rage against the Philistines opener. The bulldog gruff of "So Samson Sang" suits the song unexpectedly well. Perhaps the impact is greater because we feel the punch of each word, measured and metered, calculated to leave the most indelible impact.

Simson verslaat de Filistijnen met een ezelskaak (1562) by Cornelis Massijs

Plagued

Loud Wailing by Bible Basher

You'll never hear the anguish of Job expressed with as much weight as you will in "Burning and Blackened," for example. And the death-mongers among us, you'll enjoy the swirling storm of blast beats that "Plagued" stirs up and whips around Egypt, 10 plagues in all it is said. As this topsy-turvy number swarms along, the song feels like it's burrowing itself deeper and deeper into the ground in a crazed hypnotic dirge, as if seeking some relief from this madness of rivers turned to blood and a head full of lice.

Seventh Plague of Egypt (1823) by Martin John

Burning and Blackened

Loud Wailing by Bible Basher

I'm really digging the Middle Eastern vibe of "Burning and Blackened," on the tape's flip side. I could all but feel the cool of dawn and that first burning lick of the sun's rise. As a die-hard doomer, it won't surprise you that I marked this my favorite song of the experience. The way this grand skeleton of chords suffles about had me thinking of Iowa City's Aseethe (I hereby wish an Aseethe-Bible Basher tour upon the world come 2021).

Job and his Friends (1885) by Gustave Dore

Sodom & Gomorrah

Loud Wailing by Bible Basher

By the time we reach "Sodom & Gomorrah," we're battered, basted, and baked, ready for a fine finish to this four-course nosh. The vocals seem harsher than usual this time, but you have to understand that's the prophet divining judgement upon the most infamous twin cities of history (we find out in the interview to follow that there are multiple vocalists).

The whole song's got a nice, chewy groove to it. Plenty of meat on them bones. The lyrics consist of nothing more than the Bible's words, adding as much expressive liberty as death vocals will allow. The thick, smoky atmosphere of this whole song gave me flashbacks to 71TONMAN's "Phobia" and Old Man Gloom's "Procession of the Wounded."

The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah by Jules-Joseph-Augustin Laurens

If I've any gripe with Loud Wailing, it's the runtime. Okay, yeah, sure, it's appropriate for an EP, but I can't shake the feeling that this is actually more of a teaser for something even grander in scope. Perhaps this is a toe in the water for the band, to see how people respond? Well, it's enough to reassure us that this sound and subject matter is poised to make some mighty big footprints.

Heck, I'd do the whole Bible book by book, if I was in their shoes. 66 in all, right? No problem. Okay, 73 if you're Catholic, 78 if you're Eastern Orthodox. Whatever, bonus editions. Works either way, 'cause you've got a guaranteed record deal and freaks like me to follow you wherever this piper lures. The band can break up from the repetitive bore of the long-ass genealogies in Leviticus and Numbers, but then reunite again to take on Deuteronomy.

All kidding aside, the dramatic potential of this collaboration is unreal. Bible Basher's debut is a promising record that presents tantalizing artistic possibilities (perhaps even with a roving collective of performers). The EP wears well on its own terms with repeated listens and I never found myself disinterested, even for a moment. Loud Wailing is the brutal dawning of a New Age in dirty grunts and dank riffs.

Give ear...

Loud Wailing by Bible Basher

An Interview with Bible Basher

By Billy Goate

Intrigued by this hulking beast shrieking out in my backyard, I had to move in for a closer look. Following is my conversation with band member Joe E. Allen, who most of us know from Kurokuma and gives us insight as to who Bible Basher is and what the band is up to.

☩

Would you be so kind as to give me some background on the band, how you guys ended up coming together, basically the whole history?

Tich has recorded and helped produce most of the Kurokuma releases up till now, most of which you've heard or written about. Tich mostly makes electronic music and is pretty well known for it, but he was also in a band called Temple of Coke back in the day. Daft music with two guitarists and no bassist. Some big riffs in there.

They stopped doing much after one of the guitarists left Sheffield, but Tich still had a lot of riffs lying around. Obviously, he used to come to a lot of Kurokuma gigs in Sheffield -- and even saw us in Japan -- so he felt like getting back on writing some big guitar stuff and asked me if I'd give him some input. Over the course of a year or so we just reshaped those old riffs and added plenty of new ones and as we progressed it just kept getting bigger and heavier.

What's up with the name? You've got pretty distinct religious themes (love the motto). I come from a strict religious background myself (preacher's kid). What are your own backgrounds relative to the themes you explore?

I've always thought that some of the stories from the Bible, especially the Old Testament would make for perfect concepts in heavy metal. Unrelatedly, one day we were sitting around and Tich said let's call this Bible Basher -- it just came out of nowhere. I agreed, it just seemed to make sense. Here in the UK it's what you get called if you go to church, it's an insult. I had a really Christian upbringing with my dad being a vicar, as well, so was very into all that when I was younger.

Plus I went to a religious school, so I've definitely been called a bible basher quite a bit. It's actually taken me a while to remove that whole paradigm from the way I see reality, but that's another story. Tich wasn't like me in that aspect, but he did go to a religious school, as well. At this point, I think we're both not massive fans of organised religion, but that doesn't mean we're not into philosophy and more celestial concepts. We've both read quite a bit of things like Manly P. Hall and The Kybalion. We didn't wanna make a "statement" on anything with this, though. Just wanted to present it "as is."

I'm sure we'd all love to know how the individual tracks came together. The single on this one was "So Samson Sang," which met with some pretty positive reception.

I know the Bible pretty well and it wasn't too difficult to find concepts for the tracks. "So Samson Sang" was the first one we did. The lyrics are: "With a donkey's jawbone, I made donkeys of them. With a donkey's jawbone, killed a thousand men." And then "I have slain, heaps on heaps." They were from the book of Judges, when Samson slaughtered loads of Philistines, pretty much taken straight off the page. It was that easy. We got George in to do the vocals, for obvious reasons. We sat on the track for a bit and sent it round a few mates and everyone was like, "This is sick," which made us want to finish up the other tracks, which already were mostly done.

The other three tracks all came together in one night. We basically asked three mates from other bands to come over and figured out concepts for each of them. It was good to get their input and it was pretty collaborative. I think they all enjoyed being given a bit of a brief to work within and we were buzzing to end up with four different vocal styles for each track. So on track 1 you have George from Kurokuma, then on track 2 you have Bing who used to be in a thrash band called Psython and can obviously do the really fast/rhythmic thing and his death growls were just spot on. That track ended up sounding like Pig Destroyer or something to me. Obviously, it's about the ten plagues of Egypt and the fast/swirling nature of the riffs just seemed to fit.

On track three, we have Craig from Archelon and Holy Spider, so I know him pretty well. He did more of a Neurosis style on the track about Job. That one starts off with a zurna, which is a pipe from the Middle East area. There's a spoken word section in the middle, a conversation between God and Satan. I actually only realised what this was when we were going through the Bible for the lyrics.

God calls all his angels together, Satan being one of them, and they get into this conversation where God is saying he likes Job and Satan is saying if his life went to shit, I wonder if he'd still worship you. So God is like, "Okay, go for it." It's stuff like this that fascinates me. I think there's a fairly deep message to be heard in that if you read into it, but most Christians won't. As a text of folkloric wisdom the Bible is pretty meaningful to me, but most Christians don't treat it in that way in my experience.

And then we have the demented squeals of Chris from Spaztik Munkey doing the voice of God on track four which is about Sodom and Gomorrah. It worked out well that the ending riff fit perfectly with the syllables in the phrase "Sodom and Gomorrah."

In general, this release was a right laugh to work on. The songs just came together and it was good for us all to collaborate on something outside of our normal bands. And the response has been mega positive so far. Aaron sold out the first 50 tapes in three days so we're already on the second batch now.

Get Their Music

#D&S Reviews #Bible Basher #Doom #Sludge #Metal #Death Doom #Doom Metal #Sludgelord Records #HeavyBest2020 #D&S Interviews #Doomed & Stoned

4 notes · View notes

necropsittacus · 4 years

Text

I got a request for an Infodump Post on the Revelation imagery in King of the Monsters and tbqh one of my love languages is being asked about my Ghidorah opinions so Here We Go

note: I’m using the New International Version of the Bible, and also I have not rewatched KOTM for this (although I may end up deciding to do that) and am going on memories of my approximately three and a half past viewings. Other note: most of this is going to be me presenting specific Bible quotes and then talking about them a bit. Be prepared for that. also this feels super unfinished to me and shorter than it should be to treat the topic properly, and like i need to rewatch the movie and write an essay

The whole movie, and Ghidorah in particular, is very focused around apocalypse imagery--the end of the world, the rebuilding of a cleaner, better new world, the breakdown of that attempt to rebuild a better world. This has to do with the Book of Revelation’s focus on the destruction of the world as we know it and the coming of the Kingdom of Heaven.

except that here the attempt to destroy and remake the world (which, in Revelation, is an act of God, with the Devil as a major part of the narrative but not the prime mover) A. fails, and B. isn’t treated as a good idea to start with by the narrative. While the ending, and specifically information we get in the credits, does show us progress towards a better, brighter future for the world, it’s more “gradual healing” than “apocalypse and rebirth.” The burn-it-all-down apocalypse-and-rebirth style of fixing the world is rather associated with Ghidorah, and the people who release/awaken him. The human villains want to purge the world of humanity’s sins.

This is one of those places where the religious commentary mixes with commentary on environmental/climate change issues...Alan Jonah’s plan is standing in for, well, y’all know what kind of environmental rhetoric, the “humans are the plague, burn it all down so the earth can heal” type. They’re making a point about the inviability of that kind of goal, that you can’t just kill everyone and start over and hope the earth will fix itself, because it won’t (and, here, trying to make it work like that actively makes things worse--Ghidorah has no interest in *fixing* anything), and that gets mixed with the religious imagery in fun ways.

It could also have to do with the “false king of the monsters”/“Antichrist stands in the place of Christ” idea--Ghidorah is taking the role, as the one breaking and remaking the world, that in Revelation is assigned to God, but he’s more the Devil.

And that plays into the image of Ghidorah as the false Christ, the false prophet, the Antichrist--releasing him is supposed to cleanse the world of “humanity’s” sins (and this movie doesn’t explicitly go into the problems with that kind of approach--that it’s not humanity it’s capitalism--but I might argue that it’s implicit--that killing off humanity as an approach is explicitly criticized, it doesn’t work, it fails spectacularly), it just...doesn’t work that way, actually

Revelation 1:8 “I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.”

I’m inclined to link this (and the idea is repeated a few times in Revelation, and elsewhere in the New Testament, this is just the clearest example) with the “they were here before us and they’ll be here after us” theme in KOTM.

One of the major things that happens in Revelation is the opening, one by one, of seven seals on a scroll, each opening followed by a new disaster. I’m inclined to link this to the unsealing and release from stasis of the Titans (supposed to be one by one, although of course Ghidorah disrupts this).

The Storm Theme

Luke 10:18 I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning.

Rev. 11:19 Then God’s temple in heaven was opened, and within his temple was seen the ark of his covenant. And there came flashes of lightning, rumblings, peals of thunder, an earthquake and a severe hailstorm.

Rev. 8:5 Then the angel took the censer, filled it with fire from the altar, and hurled it on the earth; and there came peals of thunder, rumblings, flashes of lightning and an earthquake.

It’s not clear from that quote, but what’s happening here is the opening of the seventh and final seal (mentioned above).

While Ghidorah’s primary weapons were originally gravity beams, here they more resemble lightning or electricity (or that has consistently been my impression, anyway). This image is reinforced by his/their identification with a tropical storm. I may be reaching with this, but in context of what I’m talking about below I don’t think it’s unfair to bring up the Luke 10:18 quote in this context, as well as the storms and lightning tied to apocalypse more generally.

This is, or leads into, one of the places where I really like how the climate change apocalypse symbolism I’ve been assured by other people is in there is folded in with the religious apocalypse symbolism.

Ghidorah represents both something that is unnatural, not part of the established order, a destructive force the planet is not prepared to handle (specifically in the form of destructive weather patterns--which has been pointed out to me as climate change imagery, although I didn’t initially pick up on it myself) and as both Satan and Antichrist from the Book of Revelation.

First, Ghidorah-as-Satan:

The motif of a fight against a multi-headed dragon is in itself arguable as Revelation imagery; Satan primarily appears as a dragon.

Rev. 12:3 Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads. 4 Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth.

...

Rev. 12:7 Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. 8 But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. 9 The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.

Here specifically we get the notion of a malevolent, multi-headed (and crowned--this one’s more metaphorical but checks out with the “false king” thing) dragon being thrown down from the sky, and also the forces more sympathetic to humanity triumphing over the dragon. Also, there’s more “star(s) falling from Heaven” imagery elsewhere that feels at least as relevant, but that gives me feelings.

Ghidorah as Antichrist

It’s not explicit in the Bible verses I’m working with (or particularly anywhere in the Bible), but I should have a little bit here before I start talking about it too much about what exactly the Antichrist is. The Christian concept of the Antichrist is someone who opposes Jesus and sets himself in the place of Jesus/God, and thus leads the world astray.

Wikipedia: “Antichrist is translated from the combination of two ancient Greek words αντί + Χριστός (anti + Christos). In Greek, Χριστός means "anointed one" and the word Christ derives from it.[6] Therefore, an antichrist opposes Christ by substituting himself for Christ.”

I want to point out the “substituting himself for Christ” piece here especially, in relation to Ghidorah’s status as the “false king of the monsters.”

Also, it should maybe be noted that a lot of interpretations don’t have one singular Antichrist figure (or even two), but rather an institution, a group, or many people can be meant by the Antichrist (e.g. in a lot of heretical and Protestant traditions the Catholic Church may be Antichrist). Here I’m treating the term Antichrist as referring to one singular figure, who is interchangeable with the Beast, because in the movie we get a specific character in the role. ALSO, the term “Antichrist” is never actually used in Revelation, and may or may not refer to the same thing as “the Beast;” my interpretation, a fairly standard one, is that the Beast is the Antichrist, but YMMV on that.

For convenience’s sake, I am going to be using “Antichrist” or “The Beast” interchangeably

and “the False Prophet” for the other beast; the terms are a little wigglier in actual usage. Additionally, the figure I’m calling the False Prophet is often conceptualized as a second, lesser or “mystical” Antichrist whose coming presages the “great” Antichrist (the Beast).

One of the slightly off things about these parallels is that while in Revelation there are three separate figures, Satan/the dragon, the Beast, and the False Prophet, in KOTM there are only two, Ghidorah and Rodan. Thus, Ghidorah derives his authority from himself alone, and not from an additional external figure (which also jives with the Satan connection, IMO; Satan’s whole thing in some interpretations is claiming authority for himself).

I’m going to repeat the introduction we get to the Beast here in full. There’s not a ton of physical similarity between the description we get of the Beast and Ghidorah besides the multiple heads, and, as mentioned, Ghidorah grants himself authority, not any external power, but there are other significant parallels:

Rev. 13:1 The dragon stood on the shore of the sea. And I saw a beast coming out of the sea. It had ten horns and seven heads, with ten crowns on its horns, and on each head a blasphemous name. 2 The beast I saw resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth like that of a lion. The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne and great authority.

13:3 One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was filled with wonder and followed the beast.

We get this explicitly, which is the first piece of Revelation imagery that was pointed out to me--Godzilla bites off Ghidorah’s third head, which regrows (right before he claims the throne fully).

4 People worshiped the dragon because he had given authority to the beast, and they also worshiped the beast and asked, “Who is like the beast? Who can wage war against it?” 5 The beast was given a mouth to utter proud words and blasphemies and to exercise its authority for forty-two months. 6 It opened its mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name and his dwelling place and those who live in heaven. 7 It was given power to wage war against God’s holy people and to conquer them. And it was given authority over every tribe, people, language and nation.

This is, again, Ghidorah fully claiming the title of king, and being obeyed/followed by (most of) the other Titans.

Rodan as False Prophet

Rev. 13:11 Then I saw a second beast, coming out of the earth. It had two horns like a lamb, but it spoke like a dragon. 12 It exercised all the authority of the first beast on its behalf, and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed. 13 And it performed great signs, even causing fire to come down from heaven to the earth in full view of the people.

Here we do get something for the physical description; I think it’s interesting that KOTM Rodan doesn’t quite resemble older material!Rodan (who as far as I can tell, and certainly in Jurassic City which is the other thing I’ve seen with him in it, tends to be basically just a weird red giant Pteranodon, “giant bird” comments from characters in-universe notwithstanding) as much as the other non-original characters. For the most part they just made him a lot birdier, and I don’t think “match the Bible description of the second beast” was like, a driving force in that, but he does sort of have horns. That’s mostly beside the point, anyway; if we’re taking Ghidorah-as-the-Beast as a given, Rodan is clearly the other Beast acting as essentially a second-in-command and herald to the first one. The fire coming down from heaven thing is significant; you could also take “coming out of the earth” to apply to his emergence from a volcano.

14 Because of the signs it was given power to perform on behalf of the first beast, it deceived the inhabitants of the earth. It ordered them to set up an image in honor of the beast who was wounded by the sword and yet lived. 15 The second beast was given power to give breath to the image of the first beast, so that the image could speak and cause all who refused to worship the image to be killed. 16 It also forced all people, great and small, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hands or on their foreheads, 17 so that they could not buy or sell unless they had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of its name. 18 This calls for wisdom. Let the person who has insight calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man. That number is 666.

Most of this doesn’t really say anything new for the parallels I’m reading into it, and there’s no equivalence to the idolatry or the Mark of the Beast, I just really like the false prophet as a figure, and it reinforces the “given authority under the first, higher-ranking Beast” thing.

Miscellaneous other things

Thessalonians 2:7 And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will destroy with the breath of his mouth, annihilating him by the manifestation of his coming.

“The lawless one” is another common descriptor for Antichrist. I want to point out “destroy with the breath of his mouth” in context of the ending and Godzilla’s atomic breath.

Additionally, Godzilla’s own rise from the brink of death (after having been nearly killed while acting in a capacity helpful to humanity (fighting Ghidorah), at that) parallels a very central motif in Christianity (the rise of Jesus from the dead).

Rev. 5:15 Then the kings of the earth, the princes, the generals, the rich, the mighty, and everyone else, both slave and free, hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains.

This gives me feelings re everyone who can going to hide in bunkers.

I’m not going through the whole movie again looking for illustrations for this, it’s probably long enough as is, but I have this one saved anyway and I think it makes the Christianity theme REALLY blatant:

Just the framing of the shot here, the cross in the foreground, and Ghidorah’s pose kind of mimicking it, is telling.

I also want to point out this verse in terms of the visuals here:

Rev. 8:12 The fourth angel sounded his trumpet, and a third of the sun was struck, a third of the moon, and a third of the stars, so that a third of them turned dark. A third of the day was without light, and also a third of the night.

We very much do tend to get dark sky.

Rev. 8:7 The first angel sounded his trumpet, and there came hail and fire mixed with blood, and it was hurled down on the earth. A third of the earth was burned up, a third of the trees were burned up, and all the green grass was burned up.

this feels like More Rodan Imagery Things

Rev. 8:8 The second angel sounded his trumpet, and something like a huge mountain, all ablaze, was thrown into the sea. A third of the sea turned into blood, 9 a third of the living creatures in the sea died, and a third of the ships were destroyed. 10 The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water— 11 the name of the star is Wormwood. A third of the waters turned bitter, and many people died from the waters that had become bitter.

The first part of this, and the bitter waters, feel reminiscent of the Oxygen Destroyer idea (though that was taken from the original Godzilla, so I don’t think they stole this bit outright so much as they found a place they could mix Bible parallels with the older material they were working off). Also, there’s a volcano, probably. And “star falling from heaven” is again always a Ghidorah vibe for me, given the whole “alien descended to earth” thing; same thing with this next line:

Rev. 9:1 The fifth angel sounded his trumpet, and I saw a star that had fallen from the sky to the earth. The star was given the key to the shaft of the Abyss.

And also, I can’t remember if the thing about his responsibility for the K-Pg extinction event I’ve seen around a few times is a fandom thing or suggested in the movie, but if it is canon--that’s another place that folds the Biblical imagery in with the scientific mass extinction imagery.

Rev. 9:19 The power of the horses was in their mouths and in their tails; for their tails were like snakes, having heads with which they inflict injury.

This isn’t necessarily actually a Ghidorah vibe but “tails like snakes used to inflict injury” does make me Feel Some Things in that regard.

There’s also some other stuff I Think might be readable in that direction, but I’m not as certain about any of it and this is really long as is.

My conclusion is basically just...they went fucking ham with the Revelation imagery in this movie, both to play into the more major theme of environmental destruction, and I honestly speculate as a response to the criticisms of some other American Godzilla stuff as “taking the God out of Godzilla”--if that’s the case, they’d be putting a sense of spiritual reference into the movie that would be more familiar to a lot of Western audiences compared to the hints of that in the original Godzilla. and i love it and i’m always a slut for the book of revelation

Thank you very much for reading.

#mine #kaiju content #ok to rb if you want #though i still feel like it's unfinished

7 notes · View notes

of-dxnger · 4 years

Text

ʻ / let me introduce you to a prized member of our mens lacrosse team , nicholas “nick” black . this cis-male aries has been a student at our institution for 3 years and is currently a twenty one year old junior . through the halls , he has always reminded me of maxence danet-fauvel , but there is always more than meets the eye , like the fact that his father has covered up the deaths of two of nick’s friends over the years. coral cape has made their future just as bright as their smile , i assure you . ʼ ( muse #7 , billie , 25 , gmt+10 , she/her )

your friendly neighbourhood nerd, hi. hit me up on discord ( one salty nerd#9483 ) if you want to plot. below are some facts and details about my misunderstood child nick.

~DOSSIER !

Name: Nicholas Xavier Black Nicknames: Nick Age: 21 D.O.B: 13th April Height: 6″1 Degree: Business/Economics Nationality: French-American Languages: English, French Gender: Cis Male Orientation: soooooo bi

~ HISTORY !

TRIGGERS: death, drugs, alcohol.

ʻ / The taste of his power is rotten; leaves left to fester beneath an autumn sky. Emotions like an ensnared animal, vicious, writhing, raw. That is how he grew, a black pit that demanded attention from everyone around him. His ability was to infect those around him, until it consumes everything and leaves only a vacancy for disdain.

His father had been a strong presence in his life, not always a positive one. The two of them butted heads almost every chance they got these days. Arguements about nearly everything, his lack of commitment, not attending mass, fighting, drinking and drugs, his choice of partners, turning up in shirt and jeans rather than a suit. Nothing he did was good enough so he stopped putting in the effort. It didn’t help that his little sister was the apple of his father’s eye. It had been harder growing up with that, constantly in competition, but it hadn’t taken him long to realise that it wasn’t worth it. He didn’t need his fathers approval, she could have him.

He wasn’t a mother’s boy either, but he certainly had a better relationship with her. He felt bad for leaving her in the house all the time with him. It wasn’t that he was violent to anyone in their family, by no means. But there was something corrupting about him, he didn’t want her to become like him. She was too good. She was usually the one that could get him to go against his own interests, a worried look, a pout, heaven forbid tears. Letting her down or breaking her heart wasn’t something he ever wanted to do, that was why he still did well at his studies, he never caused too much of a scene, although that was by his standards, not hers.

ʻ / Look at me walking around, all Black, free and ungrateful. How dare I, skip a “Hallelujah” to tell you the church is on fire.

Church had always been a big part of their family, they’d always been catholics the Blacks, every sunday was a family trip to mass. Neatly kept hair, fresh pressed clothes, polite hand shakes and smiles reserved for those that he was supposed to respect. It was exhausting. He went and did as he was told, sitting there quietly daydreaming, musing to himself. His attendance waxed and waned, but everytime his mother fussed and worried about him, he felt guilty and would go for her. There were many aspects of being catholic that bothered him, but he was more concerned with being himself, it was why he didn’t feel ashamed when he discovered he was into guys as much as girls. His father had given him a warning to not let it ruin his future, Nick had laughed, and clearly ignored him. His father was so hellbent on imagery and what the public thought of their family, but Nick couldn’t care less.

He’d found himself in the cathedral at university twice in his three years there. The first was when he was just in there for the peace and quiet. He may have been a little high, and laying down on the pews with the stained glass windows bathing him in a kaleidoscope of colours was mesmerising. The second was when he’d gotten so stuck in his own head, panicing and re-living past events, a panic attack wrapping its way around his heart, the only place that made sense to him was the church. Strange, but it worked.

ʻ / Prayers whispered on trembled lips; a wish, a hope that he wasn’t beyond redemption. Pressed to his forehead were the rosary beads of a long dead family member that he’d never met.

Seventeen. How does one learn to cope with losing a friend? Losing someone is never a thing that someone should have to go through. It is only made worse by the fact that no one knew what happened exactly. There was a party, being the rich and spoilt kids that they were, there was of course alcohol and someone had drugs even though there wasn’t supposed to be, that was a problem with spoilt kids, they didn’t like rules. Bryce had been drinking a lot and there was supposedly drugs in his system but Nick was sure he hadn’t taken any, everyone knew him and everyone had talked to him or interacted with him to some degree, so there was an easy to follow timeline. Up until Bryce died. Supposedly falling down the stairs, a nasty wound on his head. But it never sat right with most of the peoeple that really knew him. Friendships dissolved, suspicions tore people apart but the world moved on. What Nick didn’t know was that his father had helped keep the story from reaching the media, had kept certain aspects of the case quiet. He’d never been overly religious, but after this his faith began to falter, he hadn’t properly attended church in a few years, but now he almost felt ashamed to.

Nineteen. He and his lover at the time, Tobias, were perched at the top of a building, not that high. But high enough. Legs swaying in the breeze as they looked over a city that he would one day rule. They’d been up there to talk, somewhere private, yet calming. Nick was calling things off. After sitting there so long in silence, the boredom and finality in his voice was abbrasive even to himself. Tobias hadn’t taken it too badly, obviously there was emotion and as he went to stand up off the ledge and leave, he’d slipped and was dangling from the roof of the building. Nicks fingers gripped so hard at his jacket and wrist, wishing that he had more upper body strength, or the will to lift up other. But after what felt like forever, there was an emptiness in his hands, followed quickly by the disfugred body below. The first thing he did was call his father, call it intuition, or perhaps because he knew deep down that his father wasn’t above dealing with such things. It had taken him so long after that to trust himself to let anyone in, he’d tried rationaising with himself that it was an accident, but it had taken so long for him to truly believe it, there were still times when he didn’t think it was. He’d let go. He never went back to church after that. Occassionally walking by it and considering it, his rosary beads still hung in his room, not quite ready to get rid of them compeltely, but he felt damaged, damned even.

Was he due for another death? After all, things came in threes and he was twenty one now.

ʻ / Trust given without being earned loses meaning; a rotten power he inherited from his father. He tastes it in the smiles of his lovers and the glances of his classmates, in the teachers who congratulate his achievements, and the friends who invite him to party after party. He is wanted and praised, yet not loved.

It was his last name, his family. It opened so many doors, a situation he was willing to take advantage of when the time called for it, but it also meant that a lot of people that tried to ingratiate themselves in his life, were fake. There only to get in good with the family and make their own opportunities. It was bareable at a young age, even invisible. But as he grew it became more obvious and more exhausting to deal with. To the point where he tries to hold off on people finding out he is a Black.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be part of his family. But sometimes the name came with too much baggage. Some his own, some his siblings or parents. But the reverse of his wanting to stop people trying to use him for what his family could give them was to fiercly protect what was his. His friends, his loved ones, those that he truly cared about... there was nothing he wouldn’t do for them. He’d crossed a boundary once before for a friend and it didn’t bother him as much as it should have. But that’s who he was in his core, protective of his own, once again much like his father. It was infuriating how much of his father he saw in himself when he looked in the mirror.

ʻ / Calloused fingers tracing his bloodstained lips – only to have it wipe away. Shrill screeches of the final whistle, they’d won again. Smug grins were worn that could rival the devils. Yes, they had a reputation for being a rougher team, but it just meant they did whatever it took to win. The blood clinging to net of his crosse, lightly spattering his lips only confirmed this.

Lacrosse had been an exceptional distraction when he’d first started playing for the university during his first year. But it became a rather delightful way to channel his anger and frustration while using his smarts to play tactics. His father told him he should have gone into something stronger, but that was part of the allure of lacrosse, the rebellion. Nick was able to have something that was truly his that his father couldn’t ruin. At least not yet. It was almost a ritual of his to step off the field and smoke a joint before hitting the showers. Something to help mellow him out a little before his shoes hit the flagstones of the university.

Getting his hands dirty wasn’t something he was afraid of, there were plenty at the university that focused on nothing more than books, looking down their noses at sports. Hard work and getting down in the mud were things he guessed he’d picked up from his father, but he knew that his fathers penchant for getting his hands dirty had grown into something more twisted and sinister since he’d left university. It would not be the path that he walked.

~ TL;DR !

From a catholic family.

Has daddy issues.

Sees too much of his father in him (and hates it).

Knows someone who knows someone. Has used drugs. Only shares his stash with a select few.

Likes to be the centre of attention, usually not in a good way.

Antagonistic.

Will start an argument/fight because he is bored.

Is remarkably intelligent.

He finds everyone attractive, super bi, used to feel bad about it, doesn’t care anymore.

May or may not be responsible for someones death.

Lowkey thinks his soul is damned.

~ CONNECTIONS !

( plots are open to anyone and everyone regardless of gender ^_^ )

~~ THE RIDE OR DIE ;; someone who has become increasingly close with nick, they share almost everything with one another, inseperable is a word to describe them, but not so clingy. { OPEN! }

~~ THICK AS THIEVES ;; friends, cause who doesn’t need friends. he’s never really had many close friends. { OPEN! }

~~ THE TEMPTATION ;; someone that acts as a corrupting/distracting influence. { OPEN! }

~~ THE FORBIDDEN TASTE ;; a relationship kept on the down low due to whatever reason, someone he is attracted to. { OPEN! }

~~ THE GIRL NEXT DOOR ;; living next door or down the hall from one another, they could hang out, maybe not? do they get along or merely tolerate one another? { OPEN! }

~~ THE LOVER ;; someone he has been seeing, this is not only about the physical, but the attraction of personalities. neither has taken the initiative to ask themselves if this could be something more. { OPEN! }

~~ THE SAINT ;; a friend or just someone who looks out for nick and often acts as a conscience or moral compass to him, or rather they try to. { OPEN! }

~~ THE EX ;; whether it was a one night stand, a small fling or something more serious, things were broken off for whatever reasons (plots). this could have been a mutual agreement or ended on bad terms. { OPEN! }

~~ THE THORN IN THE SIDE ;; not quite enemies or rivals, but someone that bothers him, or gets under his skin easily. { OPEN! }

~~ THE RIVAL ;; someone that he has a rivalry with, both equally matched, and the tension can be caused by anything, mutual friends, lovers, goals etc { OPEN! }

playlist

anyways that’s my boy, i’m terrible at these so please feel free to message me with any and all plots ^_^

#about #connections #nick #capecoral:intro

9 notes · View notes