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kerosene-insomniac · 3 years

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To Be So Lonely

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Midoriya Izuku

Warnings: Strong language, sexually explicit smut, violence, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, cancer sub-plot, major character death {not bakudeku}

Word Count for Chapter: 2,791

Summary: Midoriya Izuku has always wanted to be a musician. Something about the lyric working with a melody to convey his feeling just made his heart race. After his father died when he was three, Izuku has always relied on his mother. She worked two jobs to care for him and always supported his dreams. But when his mother is diagnosed with breast cancer just after he graduated high school, Izuku has to shift his focus. Now he’s working two jobs and takes care of his mother with the help of his gay neighbors.

In an attempt to learn self-defense, Izuku takes a few classes at a local gym. It’s there that he meets Toshinori Yagi, an older beta who used to be a professional heavyweight boxer. Yagi notices Izuku’s potential and encourages the small omega to eventually go pro. So, in order to make more money, Izuku eventually agrees.

Bakugou Katsuki has only ever wanted to fight. Orphaned as the young age of four, Katsuki has been fighting to live for his entire life. Fighting is all he’s ever known. After fighting underground for a couple years, Katsuki is noticed by Todoroki Enji. The older alpha takes him in at 19 and names him the official successor of his legacy (especially since all of his actual kids hate him).

Now, Katsuki is 25-years-old and the professional heavyweight champion.In a whirlwind of events, Katsuki meets Izuku in the unlikeliest of places. He watches the small omega perform and can’t help it feel extremely protective and absolutely enamored with him. The older alpha gets to meet him and say goodbye without even learning the omega’s name. Katsuki isn’t sure that they’ll ever meet again.

That is, until Katsuki officially meets Izuku at a professional lunch with his manager’s rival.

{OR}

The one where Katsuki is a professional alpha boxer with arrogance issues and Izuku is a stubborn omega that’s way little too reckless with his well-being. With a wacky cast of characters (including three idiots, a manly best friend, a traumatized bastard with daddy-issues, and many more) absolutely hell-bent on getting them together, neither men can seem to catch a break

***

———- Continue Reading ————-

{0.1} Sweet Like Honey

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”

― Laurell K. Hamilton

K A T S U K I

“C’mon, Bakubro! Smile a little!”

Katsuki scowled even more as Kirishima dragged him towards the run-down bar. On some level, he wants to be here and have fun with his friends. On another, however, he knows that he’ll have to deal with a hangover tomorrow.

And fuck that.

The shitty bar smells vaguely of coffee and beer, as well as a mix of pheromones. It has a decent amount of people inside, but not enough to feel overwhelming.

“How did Pikachu find this shitty place?”

Kirishima gave him a look, as if he was a scolding parent. “His boyfriend actually did. It has live music and decent alcohol.”

Katsuki huffed, pulling his hood over his hair. “Who the fuck would want to court Pikachu? He’s annoyingly dumb.”

“Well, not everyone thinks that.”

Before Katsuki can argue, sweet-smelling arms wrapped around his neck.

“Blasty!! You made it!” Mina screeched, already smelling of red wine.

Katsuki growled, immediately pushing the omega off of him and towards her alpha. Kirishima caught her easily. “Don’t touch me, Raccoon Eyes! Ever hear of personal space?!”

Mina giggled, whispering loudly into Kirishima’s ear. “He’s so grumpy already.”

“I know. It’s pretty funny.”

Katsuki bristled, baring his teeth. “Fuck off, Shitty Hair!”

Kirishima chuckled, ignoring Katsuki directing them further inside. Closer to the bar was Kaminari and a purple-haired beta who obviously didn’t get enough sleep the night before.

The audacity.

Kaminari glanced their way, his face lighting up. “Bakugou! It’s nice to see that Kirishima-“

“Shut it, Dunce Face.” Katsuki grumbled lowly. “I’m just here to babysit you idiots.”

Denki shrugged, taking a shot of something that smelled suspiciously like Fireball. “Whatever you say, Bakugou. Hitoshi is already our babysitter for the night.”

The purple-haired beta blinked in Katsuki’s direction, taking a sip of his water bottle. He looked like he was silently analyzing and judging Katsuki, which immediately made the older alpha bristle.

“Calm down, Blasty.” Mina snickered, leaning against Kirishima. “You scowl too much.”

Katsuki scowled even more, watching as everyone ordered drinks.

Kirishima glanced at him, offering a sympathetic smile. “Just chill, Bakubro. Shinsou says the live music is really good!”

That’s unlikely.

“I know the performer.” Shinsou murmured, still studying Katsuki. “He’s a childhood friend.”

Katsuki ignored the insomniac troll doll and took a seat next to Kirishima. “This better be good, Shitty Hair. You know how I feel about music.”

Kirishima nodded, accepting his drink from the bartender. “Well, Jiro also speaks highly of the dude. She’s as serious about music as you are, so I’m sure he’s pretty great.”

That’s a little reassuring.

Before Katsuki could speak again, a small voice came from the stage.

And god, Katsuki’s interest immediately heightened.

A small man climbed onto a stool with a guitar in his hands. He had dazzling green eyes and a head of green curls that made him look soft. He was wearing a grey hoodie with ripped skinny jeans, making him look even cuter.

And the freckles.

Katsuki took a deep breath, immediately freezing as omegan pheromones washed over the small bar.

Chocolate and cherries.

He’s so screwed.

“Our first request of the night is called ‘Save Yourself’.” The omega murmured, his voice sweet as honey.

The small omega started strumming a dingy guitar, making it look effortless. But Katsuki knew better than to assume.

It weighs heavier on one's heart

I could tell right from the start that sweet ones are hard to come across

Well there is more than meets the eye

A heart like yours is rare to find

Someone else's gain will be my loss

“Holy shit…”

For once, Katsuki could agree with Pikachu.

Shinsou chuckled lowly, earning glances from everyone else. “I’m glad that you think he’s good. I’ve tried telling him that, but he never wants to hear it.”

“He’s adorable!” Mina squealed, almost a little too loudly.

Katsuki gave her glare, which didn’t go unnoticed by Kirishima. In fact, the red-haired alpha grinned and followed Katsuki’s gaze.

Woah, woah, oh oh

Oh woah, woah

Woah woah oh

Hey hey

Well little things that make you smile

Dancing barefoot in the dark

If only I had strength to change your mind

Oh for what you need

You will not see

Choose your words before you speak

Can you see that all you've got is time?

Katsuki couldn’t fucking breathe.

The small omega sounded soft and sure, obviously confident and lost in the song. A stray curl rested on his forehead, moving as he strummed the guitar.

Whatever it was about him, Katsuki couldn’t look away.

Woah now

Save yourself

Oh you save yourself

Oh darling save yourself for someone else

Yeah, save yourself

Oh darling save yourself

Oh won't you save yourself from someone else

Woah

Don't give in to their feelings

Don't give in darkness and faith

You should be safe, yeah, with someone else

Tell your secrets to the night

You do yours and I do mine

So we won't have to keep them all inside

Oh, for one so pure

Count these off

Let your feelings take control

Hold on to the world that he's begging for

“What’s his name?”

Shinsou looked at Kirishima, almost as if he was bored. “He’s not comfortable with me telling people. He’s a very private person.”

Mina pouted, whining slightly. “But he’s so good! Wouldn’t he want people to know his name?”

“He’s going through a lot right now.”

Katsuki glanced at Shinsou, immediately meeting the beta’s gaze. “For once, I agree with Raccoon Eyes. Private or not, he’s obviously good enough to go somewhere with a voice like that.”

The beta raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware that you complimented people, Bakugou. Not everyone is a cocky boxer with arrogance issues.”

Ex-fucking-cuse me?

“At least I know how to fight, you knock-off troll doll!”

Shinsou blinked, obviously unaffected by Katsuki’s words. “Just because you’re a professional boxer doesn’t mean shit, Bakugou. If I remember correctly, you were underground once.”

Katsuki glared, scowling harshly. “Underground?”

“He’s an underground boxer, Bakubro,” Kirishima murmured, looking amused with the whole interaction. “He’s pretty good.”

Whatever.

Katsuki focused on the musician again, obviously pouting.

Woah now

Save yourself

Oh won't you save yourself

Go on and save yourself for someone else

Yes darling save yourself

Oh won't you save yourself

Go on and save yourself for someone else

Woah are you going to break?

Are you going to break?

Woah aren't you going to take me?

Yeah are you going to break?

Are you going to break?

Woah what's it going to take?

Yeah, are you going to break?

Are you going to break?

The small omega strummed the last few notes, his voice cracking slightly as the last lyrics finished. He shyly smiled at the crowd, using his bandaged hand to brush his curls out of his face.

Wait.

Bandages?

Katsuki watched with narrowed eyes as the small omega talked with the crowd, obviously trying to take more requests. Something about him was off and it made the alpha slightly suspicious.

Why does he look like that?

I Z U K U

“-and thank you for coming out! Goodnight!”

Izuku waved at the crowd as he exited the stage, his heart in his throat at the small amount of applause. His guitar felt heavy in his small hands, matching his equally heavy shoulders.

Music doesn’t have the same relief it used to.

The small omega chewed on his bottom lip anxiously as he placed his ratty guitar in it’s case. Izuku had saved up two summers worth of money to buy it, so he definitely felt more attached to it than most.

“Here’s your tips, Midoriya.”

Izuku snapped out of his daze as the female omega handed him the money, his pretty green eyes looking a bit grey. “Thanks, Jiro. I really appreciate this.”

Jiro smiled warmly, her dark eyes completely gentle as she watched him place the cash in his case. “It’s no problem, Midoriya. Tell your mom and the dads that I said hi!”

“I will!”

Izuku waved goodbye and made his way towards the exit. Hitoshi normally waited backstage to take him home, but he’s currently on a date with someone. It wasn’t like Izuku was afraid, but walking alone at night did give him some anxiety.

After all, Izuku is an omega.

In their current society, it was extremely easy for omegas to be victimized. They were completely at the mercy of outside forces, which caused a lot of weaknesses. Dominant pheromones from an alpha could completely shut them down and make them vulnerable to orders.

Alphas didn’t lack in strength like many omegas did, so they could easily overpower anyone slightly weaker than them.

While alphas experienced ruts or periods of extreme arousal, that was nothing on omegas. Omegas experience heats every month, which was a mess of fevers and the need to be knotted.

Ruts could easily be controlled and ignored.

Heats were the opposite.

If an omega was to go into heat while in public, that left them at the mercy of any alpha nearby. An alpha could take what they want, regardless of consent, and not be held liable.

So, yes.

Walking alone made Izuku slightly nervous.

As Izuku walked down the dimly-lit street, he was aware of the different smells. He could smell cigarettes and cheap perfume, all containing a mix of omega pheromones. It was slightly fruity and stale, making his stomach churn.

Don’t focus on -

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?”

Fucking fuck.

Izuku’s blood ran cold as someone yanked him backward, grabbing at the soft skin of his cheeks. “I’m just walking home. I-I have people waiting on me, so-“

Bright blue eyes locked with his.

Dabi.

Shit.

“I almost don’t recognize you without the mask, bunny.”

Izuku’s soft green eyes immediately hardened as he shoved the drunk alpha off of him. “Don’t touch me, Dabi. We both know that I can kick your ass in or out of the ring.”

Dabi growled, grabbing Izuku by the hoodie again. “It’s a shame you got such a smart mouth, bunny. I might’ve considered marking you.”

So fucking gross…

“Get fucked, Dabi.” Izuku snapped, pushing him back again.

The blue-eyed alpha huffed, causing the intense smell of alcohol to waft over the omega. “Why are you being such a frigid bitch, bunny? Sounds like someone needs a nice kn-“

Izuku pulled his arm back and punched the alpha square in the jaw.

Dabi released him and shot back, muffling a bunch of curses as he rubbed his jaw. Judging from his pheromones, he was obviously pissed off.

But then again, so was Izuku.

“You little bitch.” Dabi growled, standing at his full height.

Izuku scoffed, widening his stance and shifting into an all too familiar position. In the street light, the bandages on the omega’s fingers were much more visible than before.

The small omega clenched his jaw. “I’d stop it with the insults, Dabi. I’d hate to kick your ass again.”

Dabi lunged, but Izuku quickly ducked.

In a quick move, the small omega landed a harsh kick to the alpha’s stomach. It was a cheap move, but Izuku didn’t care.

He’s always hated pigs, anyway.

Before the small omega could move, though, Dabi growled and grabbed him by the hair. He yanked Izuku upright and shoved him towards the wall of the alley.

Shit.

Dabi chuckled lowly, placing his knee between Izuku’s legs and wrapping his hands around his throat. “You look pretty with my hands around your throat. Maybe I should-“

“What the fuck are you doing?”

The scarred alpha froze, his blue eyes flickering to the entrance. After a few seconds, Dabi immediately scowled. “Mind your business, golden boy.”

Golden boy?

Izuku struggled under Dabi’s grip, feeling slightly light-headed as the seconds continued to pass. “Le-let me-“

“Fuck off, staple-face.”

And just like that, the pressure on Izuku’s throat was gone.

Izuku coughed and gasped as his world adjusted, his green eyes landing on the mess of fighting alpha’s in front of him. The smell of cigarette ash was now accompanied by caramel and cinnamon, which shouldn’t have made his heart race.

Alphas.

Izuku inwardly scoffed, rubbing his throat as he slowly made his way towards the exit. The sooner he got home, the better.

He really doesn’t want to be yelled at by Aizawa.

“I’m sure your dad would hate to watch me kick your ass, stitches. He probably wants to do it himself!”

Izuku snickered softly, glancing back to look at the fighting match.

Dabi was completely unconscious on the ground, nearly overshadowed by the mysterious alpha. This same alpha was dressed in a black hoodie and baseball cap, which hid his face pretty well.

The small omega made a mental note to remember this when he fights Dabi next week. These nicknames were top-notch.

The alpha fixed his jacket, spinning to face Izuku.

Shit. Shit. Abort.

Izuku squeaked and turned to bolt. At this point, plenty of people were exiting the club. Plenty of people would probably help him if he screamed.

“Not so fast, freckles.”

The small omega was pulled back yet again.

Izuku spun around, his green eyes sharp as he bared his teeth in an obvious snarl. “Don’t touch me! I’m not sucking your dick just because you felt the need to play hero.”

Red eyes locked with his.

And for a second, that split second, Izuku felt like the world stood still. Instead of some ugly alpha with questionable intentions, this alpha simply looked annoyed and frustrated.

Not the usual type to defend Izuku in an alleyway.

“What the fuck are you doing out so late by yourself?”

Izuku blinked, pulling himself out of his daze as sweet caramel greeted his nose. “Does it matter?”

The alpha’s eyes twitched. “I think it does. Any omega with a bit of common sense would know not to be by themselves at this time of night.”

“I’m not most omegas.”

Izuku’s words caused the tiniest smirk to dawn on the alpha’s face.

This mysterious alpha was much taller than Izuku and definitely stronger. The hood of his jacket covered ash-blond hair, but no amount of darkness could hide those eyes. And even more so, it was obvious that he had a resting bitch face.

“Hah?! A resting what?”

Ah, fuck.

Izuku blushed bright red, chewing on his bottom lip in an attempt to keep his mouth shut. “I-ignore that. I tend to mumble a lot.”

The alpha narrowed his eyes. “I can see that, freckles. But what the fuck were you doing out here by yourself?”

I’m not helpless…

“I can handle myself. I don’t need your help.”

The alpha scoffed loudly, his scowl becoming more prominent on his face. “Don’t be fucking reckless. If I wasn’t here, Stitches would’ve done worse than choke you.”

Izuku rolled his eyes. “I had it handled.”

“Stop lying to yourself, freckles.”

The small omega clenched his jaw and pulled himself free of the alpha’s grip. His skin felt hot with fury and annoyance, especially since this alpha seemed so arrogant.

Izuku walked out of the alley, adjusting the strap of his guitar case and glancing around. The sidewalk was still full of people, so he was probably safe to finish walking home.

Before he could do so, however, a warm hand grasped his arm.

“Hold on, freckles. Let me walk you home.”

Izuku froze, glaring suspiciously at the alpha next to him. “I’m not helpless, you know. I don’t need a big, strong alpha to walk me home.”

Thank god for sarcasm.

The alpha shrugged, releasing Izuku’s arm and waited to follow him. “I’d feel much better knowing that you got home okay. I don’t want to see your fucking face on the news, freckles.”

Freckles? That’s the best you got?

“Fine.”

The small omega looked away from the alpha and started walking home, his heart fluttering in his chest as the smell of caramel enveloped him. Izuku’s never been good with attractive people, though.

Especially alphas with red eyes, which is his favorite color.

“What’s your name, nerd?”

Izuku blinkled, adjusting his hoodie. “I have enough survival instincts not to tell you. Stick to the shitty nicknames.”

The alpha huffed. “They’re not shitty!”

“I’m not convinced.”

Blondie {which Izuku decided to call him} growled in obvious annoyance, easily keeping up with the short omega. “Don’t you want to know my name? I’m sure you’re curious, shitty nerd.”

Izuku shrugged, glancing both ways before crossing a dimly-lit street. “Not really. It’s not like I’ll ever see you again.”

“How can you be so sure of that?”

“Because it’s obvious that you’ve never been here before.”

Blondie gave him a sideways glance, his red eyes glinting in the street light. “I’m that obvious? What gave it away, freckles?”

Izuku chewed on his bottom lip, slowing down as his apartment complex came into view. “If you were, then you would’ve known that I can handle Dabi. This won’t be the last time he tries to kick my ass.”

Silence.

Hehe.

“So he does that often?”

Izuku stopped in front of his complex, turning to glance at the red-eyed alpha. “More than you’d think.”

The alpha nodded, looking up at the apartment complex. “Well, I’m glad that you let me walk you home. Should I follow you inside?”

“I’m not too comfortable with that, Blondie.’

Blondie froze, shooting Izuku a scowl. “Don’t call me that, shitty nerd.”

Izuku snickered, punching a code into the door and opening it. “Thanks for the entertainment, Blondie. I’m sure that you’ll get better with the nicknames.”

He went inside, leaving alpha outside.

Thank god that’s over.

*****

AUTHOR’S NOTE

I’ve caved and decided to cross-post here! I’m loving the community on here and definitely enjoy the responses I’ve received!

All the love love love,

Ash <3

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megs-mostly-past-random-fandoms · 3 years

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The Best of Roommates

Here’s a fic! It was originally supposed to be a John Laurens fluffy piece, but it turned into something else instead. *Familiar Characters are NOT mine!*

Fandom: Hamilton: An American Musical.

Warnings: Modern AU, fluff-ish??, Matchmaking

Pairings/Characters: Hamilsquad(ish) x reader(platonic), John Laurens x Alexander Hamilton, implied Thomas Jefferson x reader at the end

When you started your first term at university, you immediately decided that living on campus was not your thing. That was how you found yourself living off campus with one Mr. John Laurens. He was a year or two ahead of you and a pre-law major. He wanted "fight for the little guy", as he put it. Honestly, the two of you got on pretty well. And you adored his two best friends, Herc and Laf. You were the four Musketeers and you knew you'd do anything to keep them happy. Something you'd have the opportunity to do when John met…him.

You smiled to yourself when you heard the door open. The new term had started and John's last class ran later than yours, so you were already home cooking. "Hey, John! How was-" you cut off when John came strolling in with a giddy smile on his face, followed by Herc and Laf who were chuckling softly.

"What's with him?" you asked them, pointing to John. Herc started making obscene movements with his pelvis while Laf merely smiled and placed a hand over his heart. "Our dear ami has met the love of his life today!" Your head whipped around to John and you grinned. "Shut up," he muttered as a light dusting of pink appeared on his freckled cheeks.

"Who is it?!" you asked immediately. If Herc and Laf were this invested, this person must be something. John's blush deepened and he looked away as he muttered something. Herc rolled his eyes. "Hamilton. The guy's name is Hamilton. He's been here a while, but mostly keeps to himself, writing all the time, unless he's got something to say. The professor paired them up as co-counselors for a mock trial next week. Poor Laurens can't even speak to the guy."

John let out a groan as he flopped down onto the couch. You arched a brow. John had never been like this before. Dramatic, yes, but never over a guy. "Invite him over," you said simply. John's gaze shot up to you. "Are you insane, Y/N? I can't talk to the guy. I get a little tongue-tied." You shrugged a little.

"You have to work with him on this mock trial. Invite him over to prep for it. At some point, the three of us will make an excuse to slip out and you can he can spend some one-on-one time where you’re comfortable." Herc and Laf agreed whole-heartedly. John always put others before himself. Now it was his turn to be happy. You suddenly felt yourself being pulled into a hug. "You're the best, Y/N!" You chucked and rolled your eyes.

*short time skip*

Alexander Hamilton was…interesting, to say the least. He was opinionated and loud. When he took a stand about something, everyone knew it. He would make a great lawyer. His personality seemed almost the opposite of John's, but even so, you could see the fight in him and you liked that. Not to mention, he and John looked positively adorable together. You and the others liked him immediately and it was clear to you that he had some serious heart-eyes for John.

After introductions were made, the five of you sat around talking for a few minutes. Laf was quietly encouraging John to make a move. Herc was trying to get as much information out of Alexander as possible. He took his job as the "dad" of your group very seriously. Meanwhile, you were just trying to figure out the best way to get the three of you out of there so Alexander and John could be alone for a bit.

"Well," you started after a bit, making a little show of getting up and stretching, "I gotta go. I've got a project of my own to work on. I'm supposed to meet Jefferson tonight." Alexander made a face. "Thomas Jefferson?" he asked. You chuckled a bit. John had told you all about Alexander's hatred of Jefferson. "Yeah. I know how you feel. Which is why these knuckleheads," you continued on, pulling at Herc and Laf's sleeves, "Are coming with me. So I don't strangle the man." John flashed you a grateful smile as you practically dragged the others out the door.

Since you didn't actually have a project with Jefferson, you and your friends decided to grab some food and caffeine, taking your time to sit and enjoy it. "Do you think they will be happy together?" Laf asked, making the women at the table behind you swoon. You shrugged. "I don't know, Laf. All I know is that John deserves to be with someone who makes him happy. I've never seen him smile about anyone else the way he does when he talks about Alexander."

"What about you? Anyone you've got your eye on?" Herc asked. You choked a little on your food and shook your head. They didn't need to know, at least not yet. "I only have eyes for you, Hercules," you replied sarcastically when you could talk again. He chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"Besides, I think we should focus on Laf next. I saw he had his eyes on Peggy Schuyler." Laf looked down at his plate and rubbed the back of his neck. You and Herc laughed a little before shifting the conversation and relieving your friend of his embarrassment. When you finally ran out of topics for the day, you returned to your apartment while Herc and Laf made their way back to the dorms.

You quietly unlocked the door and opened it. Your eyes widened slightly at the sight before you. Clearly, no studying had been done at all. Papers were scattered to the floor and even from where you were standing, you could see a fresh hickey on your roommate's neck. Somehow, the two of them managed to arrange themselves to sleep on tiny sofa, with John practically draped on top of Alexander. Their eyes were closed and Alexander had his arms wrapped around John. Your plan had worked it seemed. Smiling to yourself, you pulled out your phone and took a pic.

Quietly closing the door behind you, you sent the pic off to your friends with the caption, "Y/F/N, Matchmaker Extraordinaire!" They both replied quickly, making you smile. You walked away from the apartment, feeling better knowing that you had helped your best friend and the best roommate you could have asked for find happiness.

Your phone ringing brought you out of your little bubble. You glanced at the caller ID and beamed once more. "Hello, Darlin'," the voice on the other end greeted. You chuckled at the Virginian as butterflies erupted in your stomach. "Hey, Thomas. I'm on my way over." After all, John wasn't the only one who needed a little joy in his life.

(a/n: I really don’t know how this changed from a fluffy Laurens fic to a Hamilsquad matchmaking fic, but it did and I really hope you like it!)

#hamilton: an american musical #hamilsquad #hamilsquad x reader #john laurens x alexander hamilton #thomas jefferson x reader

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rhinotheamazing · 3 years

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One side, Two lives

Chapter ten

Is he ok?

First Previous Next

Warnings: slight gore, panicked attack, and mention of eating disorder

Where the heck am I? Virgil thought as he took in his surroundings. He couldn’t see anything except himself, as I he was standing in a pit of nothingness. He tried to to walk around but the blackness seemed to go on forever so he started to panic. Where a I? How do I get out of here? Where are the others?! Are they here two? I have to find them!

Suddenly the anxious side heard a scream from behind him in the darkness. That sounds like Roman! He thought. He turned around and there stood Roman, on his knees and grasping at his stomach which confused the other side. Why is he grabbing at his stomach? Never mind I need to get his attention.

“Roman!” Virgil shouted to the other, but the prince didn’t acknowledge him, he didn’t even seem to hear him. This in no way helped Virgils anxiety.

“Roman! Princy can you hear me!” He shouted again, but just like before the creative side didn’t seem to even know he was there. Out of no where Virgil heard a dark chuckle.

He turned his gaze away from the prince and towards the noise. The shape of a person had materialized from the darkness, glimmering in a golden light and having what seemed to be a cape dragging behind him. The whatever it was approached Roman’s fallen from, laughing the whole time.

“You see? Your nothing but a weakling, and theres no place for anything like that here.” Virgil watched in terror as the person drew a sword and used it to tilt Roman’s head up to look at him. The side had tears running down his face and blood leaking from his mouth. Why is he crying? Why is he bleeding!? Virgil thought.

He looked back down to the prince’s hand and saw that the normally pure white outfit was now stained in blood, the red liquid was still spreading rapidly. Virgils eyes grew wide with horror. The golden being ‘tsk’ at the downed side and kicked him in the stomach making him cough up blood. No! Stop! You’re going to kill him! That’s what Virgil wanted to say, but as soon as he tried to scream black tendrils wrapped around his mouth and kept him quite.

Never the less the anxious side tried to run forward to stop everything but he couldn’t. He looked down and his feet where somehow stuck to the ground. He tried to pull himself free but it became clear that it was no use. He looked back at the scene in front of him and saw the figure start to raise his sword.

“You really are worthless. You’re just a pathetic excuse for a side, a useless nothing, and you’re especially no hero.” As the thing said that, it swung it sword down.

“ROMAN!”

Virgil jolted up from his bed, his hand outstretched like he was trying to reach for something. His forehead was covered in sweat and he was sure that if he looked in a mirror his face would be whiter than a ghost’s. He brought his hand to his chest and he found his heart was beating faster than he thought it ever had. Virgil took a deep sigh and tried to calm down, it didn’t work very well. He looked over at his clock and saw that it was around 3 in the morning.

What the heck was that? Virgil wondered to himself. He couldn’t remember much of his nightmare but he remembered that he was more scared than he had ever been in his life. Just trying to remember what happened made the side start hyperventilating. Ok. I need to calm down or else I might give Thomas a panic attack. Virgil started taking deep breaths and began to calm down as he repeated his 4 ,7, 8 breathing exercise.

Once he was calmed downed he realized that he probably wasn’t going to be able to go to sleep for a while and flopped back onto his bed in frustration. The one night I actually tried to get more sleep. Just great. The side pulled out his phone from under his pillow and grabbed his headphones from his bed side table. This wasn’t the first time he was woken up by nightmares, but this time had definitely been the worst.

He put on his headphones and picked up his phone. He went though a few different playlist before he finally settle on just clicking shuffle on My Chemical Romance. He ended up on Mama and smiled. This song was slightly calmer than most of the groups songs. He went to tumbler and started scrolling though it, humming the lyrics as he looked at post. After about an hour of looking at memes and funny videos Virgil found himself starting to dose off, the residents of the nightmare going to the back of his mind.

When Virgil woke up it was too Patton calling him down for breakfast. He groaned as he got out of bed and change into his usual style. He pulled on his signature jacket as he went out the door even though he knew that it was crazy to wear a jacket on almost any day in Florida. Virgil walked down the long hallway eyeing every corner suspiciously in case Remus decided to just pop up or something. Because of this he wasn’t looking where he was going and ran straight into someone’s back and fell down.

“Virgil? Are you ok” a familiar voice said. The anxious side looked up and saw that it was non other than Roman who he just happened to run into. The memories of his dream flashed in his mind and he looked at Romans stomach glad to see that there was no kind off blood staining on the t-shirt he was wearing. He shook his head a bit to clear the image of the fallen prince in his mind.

“Yah, I’m fine Princy.” Virgil said. Roman extended his hand to Virgil and pulled him up.

“You need to watch where your going, wouldn’t want you falling down the stairs or something.” Roman said with a chuckle. The smaller side smiled softly at the sound but pretended to cough into his sleeve when Roman looked back at him.

“Kiddos! Come get your breakfast before it gets old!” That had snapped Virgil out of his embarrassed fake coughing fit and the two started heading towards the kitchen. When they entered they found Logan at the table reading a comic book? Roman turned to Virgil and raised an eyebrow in question. The anxious side shrugged and went to go sit down at the table. He took a closer look at the cover and saw that it was a horror comic and that only confused him more.

“What are you reading Lo? I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you pick up a comic book before” Virgil asked. Logan finally looked up from his book and he seemed kinda embarrassed.

“Well um, technically it’s a graphic novel and uh Remus asked me to read it over for him.” Logan said while he adjusted his glasses, and if Virgil wasn’t mistaken, he was ever so slightly blushing. As the gears in his head spun the smaller side started to smirk. It definitely seems like this guy has a crush Remus. Although it may not look it, Virgil didn’t actually hate the duke. They in no way got along, and Virgil didn’t trust the creative side as far as he could though him, but he didn’t necessarily hate the gremlin of a man.

So, with this in mind, the mischievous raccoon in a jacket decided that as long as he was here, he might as well mess with people.

“I didn’t know you and Remus where such good friends.” Roman, who had sat down after getting a plate of food for himself from the kitchen, tried his absolute hardest not to burst out laughing as Logan stuttered and rambled to try and explain himself.

“He simply assisted me in conducting some research the other day and I wanted to return the kind favor.” Once more the prince and emo character shared a look. Virgil decided that was enough teasing for now. You have to spread out the torture to make it effective after all. So instead of continuing to make fun of his friend he decided he should finally grab some breakfast.

“Whatever you say Lo.” The former dark side walked into the kitchen to see Patton serving up a plate that he assumed was for Logan.

Today Patton had made some scrambled eggs, a few links of sausages, and some toast he was currently adding crafters jam to. Patton turned around to face his dark strange son and smiled widely.

“Hey kiddo! I made a plate for you if that’s alright. If theres anything you want to change about it go right ahead!” The fatherly side said in his usual cheerful tone. Unfortunate this kinda made the smaller of the two freak out a bit.

What if I don’t like whats on the plate? I can’t just mess with it Patton already put in the work to make the food and if I put any of it back it will look like I don’t like his cooking which of course into true but what if he thinks that? Luckily his worries were put to rest when he saw his plate had equal proportions of everything just how he liked it. He breathed a sigh of relief and went to go sit back down with the others.

When he got back to table Roman and Logan were arguing about some sort of play but the conversation was now going too fast for Virgil to actually pay attention to it.

“Don’t you dare say Hamilton wasn’t a good musical in my presence!”

“I’m just saying its historically inaccurate! For one thing the Skylar sisters did have an older brother so the part in the musical where Angelica sings about having to bring the family glory is false. Also she was already wed to a man before she met Alexander so she couldn’t marry him if even if she wanted to.” Logan reasoned in his calm yet frustrated ‘everyone-is-being-an-idiot-except-for-me’ tone of voice.

“Of course it isn’t entirely accurate to the real character. In theater you have to add a bit of drama to express the characters feeling in the scene better!” The royal side tried to explain while he waved his arm around in the air, surprisingly not hitting anything or anyone. Luckily before the two could continue Patton walked into the room carrying both his and Logan’s plate.

“Ok kiddos I think thats enough arguing for now, go ahead and eat instead of bickering please.” Patton said in a hopeful voice. The two sides grumbled a bit to themselves but did start eating . Virgil looked over at Romans plate and saw that he once again had a lot less food on his plate than the rest of them. He had about two mouthfuls of eggs on his plate, one small sausage and half of a jam covered toast.

Doesn’t he need to eat more than the rest off us? I mean he goes adventuring all the time so he probably burns all the calories he gets from the meals Patton makes. Virgil pondered all this while he ate. If he was being honest he didn’t think he had ever seen Roman get seconds unless people insisted on it. Thats kinda concerning, what if he isn’t eating right because off stress? But why would Princy be stressed he’s the living personification of having a dreamy good life. Could something be wrong and we just haven’t noticed it yet?is he ok? Luckily he was broken from his thoughts as someone called his name.

“Virgil? Are you ok? You’ve been so pacing out for a while now, everything alright?” Roman said as he put a comforting hand on the anxious sides shoulder. Virgil gave the royal a small smile and took a deep breath. I’m just overthinking things. Roman’s fine, he would have come to us if he had a problem.

“Yah I’m fine Princy, just got lost in thought that’s all.” The creative side smiled at that and went back to eating his small plate of food.

After everyone was done with breakfast they all went back to their own rooms, Logan still reading the graphic novel as he walked. Once Virgil got to his room he threw himself onto his extremely messy bed and was about to pull up something to watch on YouTube when he heard a knock on his door.

What the, I was just with everyone, if they needed to ask me something wouldn’t they have asked me then? The purple side sighed and got up to open the door, only to find the hallway completely empty?

“Um, ok, anyone there?” Virgil said while he stuck his head out the doorway.

“Yup! I’m right here!” A choice shouted from behind him.

“Ahhh!” The smaller side screeched and accidentally slammed the door shut. There now sitting on his bed kicking his feet, was Remus. He wasn’t wearing his usual outfit for videos but instead a ripped up tank to and some black sweatpants.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” The anxious side said in an accusing tone.

“I was bored and decided that I might as well annoy you for a while.” The taller of the two said with a shrug.

Virgil groaned and destroyed any hope of having a peaceful day from his mind.

“Why in the world did you knock? You haven’t had any real manners since we were kids.” The purple clad side said as he sat down on a beanbag that he had in the corner. The duke shrugged.

“It was part of my grand plan to distract you so that I could scare you even better.” The insane side said with a sharp tooth smile. Before Virgil could make a retort the door burst opened. There stood Princy in a t-shirt and shorts, his hair looking slightly disheveled and with a sword in hand. He for some reason also looked a bit bigger than normal but Virgil discarded the thought as the lighting being weird.

“Virgil! What’s wrong! What do I need to fight!” The red side exclaimed.

“Hey Ro! I just scared emo over here and he screamed like I had ripped out his guts or something.” The duke said as he threw his arm around his brother. Virgil was kinda surprised. Last time he had seen the twins interact Roman was out cold in seconds but now they were talking like they were best friends. Well I guess they are siblings after all. The smallest in the room said.

“Oh, ok then. Virgil do you need any assistance?” Roman asked. The former dark side thought for a minute and figured that he could handle Remus by himself, he had enough experience dealing with his craziness growing up.

“Yah Romano I’ll be fine.” Virgil said with a wave. Roman nodded but not without a sigh at the nick name and walked out.

“Oh but before I go,” the prince turned around and glared and the both of them, “if you two kill each other I will find a way to somehow resurrect you and get you both scolded by Patton.” And with that Roman left with a royal wave. The two remaining sides gave each other a look, Virgil’s one of distrust and Remus’s one of mischief.

“Sooooo,” Remus said as he jumped back onto the bed, “you like my brother huh?” Virgil’s face turned bright red.

“I-I don’t know what your talking about!” The now highly nervous side shouted. This only made the duke chortle.

“Chill out, I’m not gonna tell him, it will be a lot more fun that way.” Remus said with a grin. The hoodie wearing side breathed a sigh of relief.

“However you now owe me a favor.” The dark side said. Virgil grumbled to himself but agreed and asked what the favor was. The royal smiled widely.

“You have to help me beat Deceit’s high score in Mario cart.” The anxious side was surprised at first but then smirked.

“Sure, I’m not going to pass up the chance to piss off the snake.” The smaller jumped onto the bed as Remus summoned his switch that was nearly covered in stickers except for the screen.

After a few rounds of Mario cart Virgil still hadn’t won once and he was getting annoyed, especially since Remus wouldn’t stop saying how he was the ultimate champion of this game. In this round they where nearing the finish line and Virgil was in second place while Remus was in first. He had dodged all of the shells Virgil had thrown at him but he still had one more.

There’s no way I’m letting this rat man beat me again. Suddenly Virgil had an idea and a dark smile formed on his face.

“So Remus,” the purple side said as he lined up the shot, “how did your date with Logan go?”

“What?!” Remus was so surprised that Virgil somehow knew about his sorta kinda date with Logan that he fell off the bed. Meanwhile Virgil threw a green shell at him and finished in first.

“Yes!” The smaller side exclaimed.

“How in this wide terribly gruesome world did you find out about that?” Remus said from the floor. Virgil shrugged.

“Logan said that you helped him with some research or something while blushing so I figured you actually took him on a date.” The emo said while he leaned back on his pillow. He looked over at Remus who was now sitting on the bean bag looking slightly startled.

“Well I didn’t technically ask him on a date, I just offered to take him and give him a tour of the imagination.” The duke said while he messed with his white streak of hair. “I haven’t actually told him that I like him.” Virgil was surprised that Remus looked actually embarrassed saying this.

“I never thought I would see the day that you were nervous.” Virgil said honestly. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Logan if you aren’t ready to tell him.” Remus gave him an incredulous look and started laughing like a mad man which slightly scared the smaller side. He suddenly stoped and got up.

“Thanks emo, I got to go or else De is going to get mad at me.” While the dark side walked to the door he messed up the purple wearing side’s hair until it defied gravity. “Wanna help me beat the record tomorrow since that slippery snake has such a freaking high score that we couldn’t beat it today?” The crazy side asked.

“Sure.” Virgil said, surprising even himself.

“Cool! Se yah tomorrow emo.” Remus said as he slammed the door loudly. The anxious side relaxed on his bed with a sigh. Even when just hanging out with the others being social was exhausting for him. He remembered that Thomas had some sort of event for tomorrow but Virgil doubted that he would need him for anything. As he was starting to drift off to sleep for a nap he had one last thought. Isn’t the wedding tomorrow?

Well I hope everyone if ready for some angst to come. Hope you guys have a good next 24 hours, bye!

Tag list:

@lovelivingmydreams

#sander sides #roman sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #prinxiety #pride!roman #logan sanders #intrological #patton sanders #slight mention of eating disorder #mention of gore #mention of panic attack #my writting #one side two lives

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forasecondtherewedwon · 3 years

Text

Gladly Be a Fool

Fandom: A Discovery of Witches Pairing: Phoebe Taylor/Marcus Whitmore Rating: E Word Count: 2883

Summary: The missing scene after Phoebe and Marcus stumble into his bedroom in episode 4.

“Is this alright?” Marcus asks, despite feeling Phoebe’s calf wind around him like the heavy scroll on an antique gilt frame—the kind of thing they surely have in the vaults at her auction house.

“Completely,” she says against his throat before leaving a lingering kiss. “Does it seem like I think this isn’t alright?”

“Just checking.” He laughs at himself, scoffs with his eyes shut. “It was only that you looked a bit disoriented when we…”

“Flung ourselves onto your bed?”

Phoebe’s bold. He suspected, even with her backtracking after kissing him by the cab, and he enjoys it immensely.

“Yes. Forgive me. Occupational hazard.”

Smiling, he bends his head to her neck. She tilts her head to make space for him. The hum of blood beneath the surface of her skin is more intoxicating than the red wine, less than the creep of her fingers unbuttoning and spreading his shirt. He wishes he were wearing something smarter; blue plaid isn’t his go-to seduction look. However, he didn’t foresee this when he darted to Phoebe’s office earlier. That just toppled into dinner, from dinner into a lovely stroll while they discussed his taste in music to the soundtrack of her laugh, from playful conversation to the kiss that left him longing on the sidewalk, to her surprising call, to, finally, the supreme pleasure of holding her body in place with his and the prospect of imminently warming his cool sheets.

“Are you saying you’re trying to assess my health? In other words, play doctor with me?”

“I don’t think it’s playing doctor when I actually have the qualifications,” he argues between kisses, meandering up to her cheek, then her mouth.

“I suppose I have been acting out of character. Do you think that could be a symptom of anything?”

Phoebe pushes at his shirt and Marcus lifts one hand and then the other, slipping free of the sleeves so she can toss the garment aside. He lifts his head and cocks it.

“I’ll keep you overnight to make sure.”

He doesn’t think he’s offered her anything unusual, and yet she clasps the back of his neck and leads him through a kiss the flavour of gratitude and relief, intense desire welling just beneath. The last thing gets him harder than anything. He presses his groin to her thigh, wanting her, hating his jeans.

Reminding himself that he’s a thinking being, a centuries-old intellect, not just a creature of primal hungers like the one Domenico described, Marcus defers briefly to his brain. The verdict there is that Phoebe’s feeling reassured by his implication that he’d like her to stay the night. She’s inquisitive, attempting to decipher him since they met, holding back even more questions than she asked. Amid all her uncertainties where he’s concerned, his invitation is solid. A promise that predicts the next eight or so hours of her life. He decides he can appreciate that craving for a knowable future. By job and genetics, they’re perhaps both more comfortable with the past.

“I really can’t believe I called you,” Phoebe confesses, working on his belt. “I’m normally not—”

“Liar,” he teases. His hair’s in his eyes as he stares smugly down at her. “A woman who dresses entirely in red is definitely a woman who makes the first move.”

Now to get her out of all that red. Remembering his other guests, Marcus moves swiftly to his feet and closes the bedroom door. He jerks his thumb towards it and mumbles about a friend staying with him as he returns to Phoebe’s waiting arms. His heart doesn’t so much beat as somersault, watching her skate her dress up her legs—presumably, the better to wrap them around him. He feels flushed, imagining forgetting the clothes and just pounding into her.

“Technically,” she pants as his hand skims her inner thigh, fingers trailing along the lace hem of the slip beneath her dress, “the call was the second move.”

“Well, I’ve got to make one of the moves.”

“You really should. Unless it takes you a while to get going. Hamilton six times…”

Grinning, Marcus shakes his head at her and feels for the line of her underwear at her hip. He starts to tug, then wriggles his fingers under the band instead. As he slides his hand down to cup her, he fits his lips back over hers. Phoebe sighs shakily into his mouth as his fingertips glide through her arousal. He applies a gentle touch, tracing her with a surgeon’s finesse.

Before he can ask her which move this qualifies as, she’s opening his fly, her ring scratching against his zipper. The kiss opens up, growing harsher, teeth grabbing lips, her tongue pushing into his mouth then his into hers, until she’s gripping his cock and he’s sunk a finger inside her. He curls, she palms. Between their obscene sounds, he recalls the neat click of her typing as she brought up Lot 42 on her computer. It makes Marcus smile to himself. Then, he dives deeper into the kiss and into her, adding a finger, coaxing a broken moan from Phoebe that vibrates across his tongue.

He raises his head and her hand with it, fingers twined in his hair, because he’s honestly not sure she’s taking in enough oxygen. She might be breathing heavily, but her hand doesn’t quit, fingers encircling him as she pumps faster. Feeling his hips begin to rock as he seeks satisfaction, he realizes he’d better distract her.

“Hope my hands aren’t too cold.”

Phoebe laughs breathlessly and does stop dragging him to the edge for a moment, but then she reaches for his hips with both hands instead, pulling his jeans and underwear down.

“I think I’ve stopped noticing,” she says.

“Am I boring you?”

She rolls her eyes.

“Not like that,” Phoebe tells him. Then, “Yes. Yes, like that,” as he pulses his fingers shallowly and drags her clit in urgent circles beneath his thumb.

“You can have the first move,” he cedes. “I’m claiming credit for the first one of these.”

But he’s got to actually get her to orgasm before that claim’s really worth anything, so he continues what’s making her squirm. With his other arm, he drops from his palm to his elbow, freeing his hand to unbutton her dress from the top. Her chest is warm where he brushes his lips. He exposes more skin, then the lacy neckline of her slip. Being disappointed by too many clothes is a modern man’s insanity—what does it for Marcus are these layers, needing time to strip and reveal, this thick feeling of anticipation drawn out. He watches the dainty gold pendant bob against Phoebe’s throat as her breath hitches. Groaning, he leaves her buttons for now and grabs the hand not in his hair, interlocking their fingers and pressing the back of her hand into the mattress.

“Almost there,” he murmurs to himself, but Phoebe squeezes her eyes shut and nods rapidly in response as the nails of her other hand bite into his naked hip.

Her legs tangle around his and tense when she comes; the leverage pulls him in as her hips jerk up from the bed. He was trying not to grind his erection into the satiny fabric of her skirt, but it’s too late for that now. The contact has him kissing faster over her collarbone and up her neck, sucking where her pulse throbs until Phoebe moans, clamping even tighter around his fingers. Marcus clenches his jaw hard and rests his forehead on her neck, wondering if that was just a spike at the end of her orgasm or whether he compelled her into a second.

When her hand loosens against his, he draws back to look at her in the yellow light coming through his windows from the street.

“Not too cold,” she says, smile slack and easy from the wine and the release.

“Good.”

The word is no louder than the rustle of bedding as he withdraws his hand and braces himself over her again. He stares admiringly down at her. She just makes him feel… like he’s really glad he didn’t pawn the miniatures investigation off on Miriam.

Holding his eyes, Phoebe brings her hands to her chest. Her smile turns sly as she runs her fingers along the open front of her dress until they encounter the next fastened button. She undoes it. Marcus’s gaze leaps from her hands to her face and back. He grins, hanging his head, at her ability to do this to him. She knows too, because she doesn’t speed up. She takes her time all the way to the very last button. When she sits up to shrug out of her dress, he does as well, kneeling between her thighs as she does a little hop to whisk the skirt out from underneath her. She casts the dress aside.

Marcus takes a long breath through his nose, studying Phoebe in her short sheath of white silk. She’s wearing a bra under it—white, ribbed, unlined—but he can see her hardened nipples. While he stares, she unclasps her necklace and lowers it onto the closer of the two nightstands. The chain trickles through her fingers.

“Not the watch?” he asks with a grin when she’s touching him again, hands on his sides, moulded to his ribs.

Phoebe shrugs, barely glancing at her wrist.

“Didn’t think it was really in the way.”

He gives her a considering frown and kicks his legs out from under him, peeling his clothes off. She looks slightly shocked, mouth open in a scandalized smile as she does her best to keep her eyes on his face. Shame.

“Is that all?” he wonders.

“I guess I just like knowing what time it is.” She pauses. Goes on. “So much of the past is identified so indistinctly. Paintings or jewellery by year, some artifacts by decade with our appraisers’ best estimations. The possible timeframe only gets broader the farther back we go. Things travel through time… objects… but we lose details. Maybe it’s silly, but sometimes it amazes me that I can know the time down to the second. I think time is underappreciated.”

“Now that,” Marcus says, leaning in until their lips almost touch, “was a much more interesting answer.”

“Coming from you, I take that as a compliment.”

He’s not positive that was a compliment, but he kisses her anyway. Though he can feel her smile like she might say something else, his hopefully-charming insistence wins her over and her mouth seals to his with more certainty. He groans into it, cupping her cheek to angle her head as he deepens the kiss. He misses her hand wrapped around his cock and yanks expressively at the blanket to either side of her hips. Phoebe shifts back against his headboard, curving her legs out of the way. The second he has the covers whipped down, he catches her behind the knees and pulls her back to him, laughing. Marcus’s smile is broad as he settles between her legs. He traces the neckline of her slip, ignoring where the hem’s scrunched up above her hips, revealing her white underwear, for the moment.

“Did you think about me when you put this on this morning?” he inquires, fingering the lace.

“I didn’t know you’d be coming in. To the office,” she clarifies when he jauntily raises an eyebrow.

“Hmm. That’s not exactly what I asked.”

Marcus kisses her shoulder, heading towards her throat. He slips his hand under her ass to keep her in place as he grinds down with his hips.

“I take care in my appearance,” is all Phoebe seems willing to concede.

“And that appearance is very lovely.” He can feel her arousal through her underwear and rubs against her more precisely, dying to bury himself in her. “So very lovely,” he pants against her skin.

“You’re being very charming for someone who’s already got me half naked.”

“Oh, I never turn it off.” He flashes an enticing grin.

He can feel, and hear, her heartbeat, then his cock twitches eagerly and they’re in another scramble—the first was to make it to his bed, this is to get her out of her underwear and him inside her. She takes care of the former as he stretches to fish a condom from the drawer of the nightstand. If she asked, he would say truthfully that he was thinking about her this morning. The way he pleased and flustered her when they met by suggesting she should be the one in charge of the auction house was in his mind when he ventured to the shop, guiding his hand as he tossed the box of condoms into his basket alongside the coffee creamer and eggs he was bringing back to Sophie and Nate for breakfast. The thrill for the rest of them might have been the discovery of Matthew and Diana’s miniatures; the thrill for Marcus was doing everything he could to provoke a smile out of Phoebe Taylor.

Pressing inside her, he inches the white slip up her stomach with every gasp. Her fingers grip the back of his neck, her eyelids lowered, her parted lips bumping his as they share air. Marcus thrusts shallowly once he’s all the way in and Phoebe shifts her hips, widens her legs; they adapt to each other.

His hands caress her skin more insatiably the more of it he bares. He can feel the goosebumps under his fingertips, unable to count them because she’s rocking her hips with his, driving him deeper. Phoebe intervenes with the slip, stripping it off over her head, then her hands slap to his back and they kiss hard as he bucks into her. Marcus absorbs her high whimpers, refusing to break the kiss. Fuck, she’s incredibly slick around him and he badly wants this to be as good for her as it is for him. He hooks his arm beneath her thigh and folds it up. The moan that leaves Phoebe is almost enough to stand even his heavy, floppy hair on end.

He dips his head, tugging at her nipple through her thin bra. He can feel her wristwatch against the back of his neck as her fingers comb into his hair. Not everything’s been removed; so many pieces of her. She thinks he’s evasive and mysterious, but he’s sure he doesn’t know the half of it with her, and that excites him. Phoebe in his bed excites him. He lets her pull him back into a messy kiss and allows his eyelids to flutter open ever-so-slightly, stealing glimpses of her. This room is full of mirrors, but most are hung just a little too high on purpose because it isn’t really his reflection Marcus wants. He doesn’t need his own face looking back at him, he doesn’t need two nightstands for all his shit.

Breathing harshly through his nose, he catches the wine they drank downstairs, her gin at dinner. There’s the scent of night air and the faint hint of the perfume she must have put on this morning. He smelled it at her office earlier, but at the time it seemed a little too—as Phoebe defined their first kiss—forward to ask if that was for his benefit, like the later uncovered silk slip. She’s as irresistible when experienced through this sense as any other.

“F-faster,” she directs, bowing her body against his, and he is happy to oblige. He loves her sweat. He’d be perspiring himself, if he weren’t what he is.

The present rides him as he moves quickly in and out of her. This is fast, him and her, for something he thinks is more than a hookup. Two days to get them from his cold hands to her heat under and around him. One dinner, one walk, one call, a multitude of kisses. He is so, so into her.

His hand finds and grasps her hip, heaving her up to stroke inside her differently while pinning her thigh to her stomach. She cries out and he knows he’s got her.

“Good god, Phoebe,” Marcus breathes into her ear.

She shudders and shakes, clenching around his cock. He switches to long strokes as she climaxes, powering through them, trying to last if only to extend the present, here to play time’s own game. All of his seconds are Phoebe sighing and catching her breath and being so vibrantly human beneath him. He finally finishes with one of her hands kneading his shoulder, the other on his cheek. The orgasm ripples through him, muscles taut as his hips snap to hers and push until he’s empty.

He almost doesn’t want to pull away, but he’s being stupid. He swaggers unhurriedly over to the bin to chuck the condom, smirking back at Phoebe, who he’s caught watching his ass, as he thought she would be. She rolls her eyes with a certain fondness while she takes the liberty of rearranging the pillows that are propping her up.

“You know what would be great right now?” Marcus asks as he rejoins her.

“What’s that?”

He waits until she’s looking at him dead on before he grins.

“A little Duran Duran.”

#my writing #A Discovery of Witches #ADoW #Phoebe Taylor #Marcus Whitmore #Marcus x Phoebe

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bitchybutcher · 3 years

Text

Texts I sent a friend the first time I watched The Boys, Season 2:

- Gird your loins

- I’m dying to know more about Black Noir

- Ugh ffs Homelander smarming about on stage at Translucents funeral

- It’s an empty box but I suppose how would people know cause invisible corpse

- WHY IS ANNIE SINGING AT THE INVISIBLE PERVS FUNERAL

- Aw no straight in with Sad Kevin

- Oh ok angry drunk Kevin

- Ugh not these Samaritans Embrace fuckers again

- Oh Annie. Parroting the company line. I hope she’s gonna fuck them all over

- SAD HUGHIE OH NO

- BILLY JOOOOOELLLL

- Aw Kimiko is learning

- Her lil smile

- Oooh Hughie is a liiiiiar

- Meeting on the subway like a couple shifty teenagers

- Oh I forgot they microchipped the supes like dogs

- Oh nooooo young love angst

- Oh no a Sad Kevin incident

- Aaaaand he’s been arrested

- A nice archer bailed him out

- Omfg the fake Butcher re-enactment

- Oh do NOT tell me this crazy bastard is gonna drink the frozen breast milk

- Oh fuck he is

- What the FUCK, HOMELANDER

- This visually impaired ninja seems nice

- That probably means he’s gonna turn out to be a dick

- OH FUCK

- Homelander what the fuuuuuck

- Ok what the shit is happening here in the motel

- WHAT

- What the fuuuuuck

- I – MM is making a dolls house? That’s so cute

- Oh shit smuggled people

- Homelander is nuts with power

- Uhhhh who is Carol and why is she staring at Kevin while he sleeps

- Finally an archer who is honest about how useless they can be once they run out of arrows

- Oh noooo are they gonna try brainwash Kevin with homeopathic stuff? And why do they keep offering him Fresca

- OH FUCK ME NOT ANOTHER RELIGION THING

- Oh Hughie has grown a pair since last season. Good for him

- Where’s Butcherrrrrrrr

- Body gore porn dude is called Gecko that’s too cute a name for him

- Stormfront seems like fun

- She’s gonna be pissing off Homelander so much I like her already

- OH WHAT THE FUCK THE CIA LADYS HEAD EXPLODED

- I like Stan

- Giving Homelander the dressing down he needs

- I know it’s convenient for Toni to wear the padded suit all the time but does Homelander ever wear anything else

- Oh hiiii Becca I still think you’re a bitch and Butcher deserved better

- BUTCHERRRRR YASSSSS

- “Daddy’s home”

- I’m dead. It’s official.

- The fuckin smirk and the voice I’m fuckin dead

- OH NO KEVIN IS TRYING THE CHURCH THING

- Is he making shroom tea

- Why is Patton Oswalt voicing Kevin’s gills this is delightful

- Atrain is awake again that’s not good

- I’m cracking up at Sad Kevin and his singing gills

- Homelander is gone way off the deep end oh boy

- Awwww soft Maeve in the hospital with her girlfriend

- I want to like Becca but I can’t shake the bad feeling

- Homelander is a terrible father

- I mean I know he has no role models to base his parenting on, but yikes

- It’s like if Scar was raising Simba instead of Mufasa

- ….are the gang raiding a party city store

- I love how Frenchie always looks a mix of horrified and amazed whenever Kimiko kills someone

- AWWW IT’S HER BROTHER YAY

- Oh shiiiiiiiit

- Butcher STOP JUST SHOOTING PEOPLE

- You were right this season is weird

- I like Kimiko’s brothers bedazzled denim jacket

- Butcher don’t punch Hughie wtf

- Starting with Hughie listening to the same song again, nice

- Butcher is terrible at apologising it’s so cute

- I’m sorry did Hughie just fall over trying to throw a punch

- The kid’s a dandelion omg

- Why are they on a boat? Did Karl just decide “I like being on boats lemme go on a boat”?

- I see what you mean about Homelander being scary

- He’s completely insane

- Why does this storyboard guys shirt say assbinder

- Chace Crawford is an excessively veiny man

- BLACK NOIR IS CRYING

- Or possibly laughing

- Hard to tell when they have no face

- Annie actually leaked all the compound V stuff good for her

- FRENCHIE KISSED HUGHIE

- Homelander is gonna get this kid killed tryna make him fly

- Honestly the kid looks more like Hughie

- OH MY GOD HE PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF

- OH MY SWEET FUCKING JESUS HOMELANDER YOU CAN’T DO THAT

- Oop there’s the laser eyes

- Oh Homelander is back at the Tower and freaking Maeve out

- OH FUCK THE BROTHER IS LOOSE

- Hughie don’t do it

- Oh ok I thought he was gonna jump off the boat

- Kevin and the cult weirdos are up to something

- Hughie no you don’t call the girl you like crying over Billy Joel lyrics

- Oh god boyo you don’t then drop the L word in the same voice message!

- He’s hopeless

- Oh nooooo Kevin is attacking the boat goddammit Kevin

- OH FUCK A WHALE

- For fuck sake Kevin

- Ewwwww

- Butcher what the fuck

- Hughie having a nervous breakdown inside of a whale

- No but why is Karl so hot covered in blood

- Actually I didn’t even need to include the blood part of that question

- Oh boy here we go, the 7 show up to find Sad Kevin crying over spilt whale

- ….why is Stormfront tryna get all up in Homelander’s ass?? I thought she was cool but now she’s all lemme suck that radioactive dick

- OH NO

- Poor Kevin he’s worked so hard to accept his gills and now Homelander has knocked him back down

- Oooo dear Atrain is having a heart attack again this isn’t good

- Oh fuck is Hughie gon get caught

- Oh no it’s Annie it’s ok

- OH FUCK

- ANNIE WHY

- THAT’S YOUR HUGHIE

- OH MAN KIMIKO’S BROTHER IS BADASS YES SQUASH THE SMUG PRICK

- Oh I do NOT like Stormfront holy fuckin shit what’s wrong with this woman

- Poor Kimiko

- What’s with the random woman talking about calling off her wedding?

- Why is Frenchie taking drugs

- FUCK SAKE FRENCHIE DON’T TRY KISS A GIRL WHEN SHE’S GRIEVING

- What the FUCK is thiiiiis

- Is he dreaming or is this the shapeshifter tryna stay alive by granting Homelander some sick wish

- Yikes I feel bad for Doppelganger

- I am fascinated by whoever and whatever the fuck Black Noir is

- MM sees right through everyone’s bullshit

- I feel so bad for Annie

- Ooooo Atrain getting fired

- MM having to put up with Hughie and Annie having a we didn’t start the fire singalong 😂

- Ok who’s in the weird group therapy sesh with these women with strange views on love

- Vending machine date so cute

- Omfg ahahahaha the girl with the Ed Sheeran tattoo

- I really want to like Becca cause she stands up to Homelander but I can’t shake the suspicions about her

- I feel bad for Butcher

- Homelander is a scary good liar

- Oh shit interviewer lady is pulling out the diversity questions

- OH FUCK

- HE’S OUTED MAEVE

- Poor Maeve what the fuck

- Ugh Stormfront

- Shut your racist hole bitch

- Oh shit Kimiko on the warpath

- Frenchie! Kimiko listen to him he’s tryna help

- MM is doing a lotta sharing this episode

- Ohhhh something bad is gonna come out about this Liberty lady they’re looking for oh fuck

- Wait WHAT. STORMFRONT IS LIBERTY

- Stormfront is like 70????

- She’s really good with social media for an old bird

- Ohhh fuck Homelander is pisssssssssed

- Christ you’d know Homelander was an only child

- Bitch you better not be fucking Butcher over

- I FUCKIN KNEW IT

- BECCA YOU RAGING BITCH

- Got her goodbye fuck then called the supercops on him cause he’s a little broken? FUCK BECCA

- Oh no Annie don’t give Hughie the “we can’t do this” talk

- Pick your emo ass up and stop being melodramatic

- All these women are chatting to Kevin?? Why??

- Also this most recent one is super weird

- THEY WERE INTERVIEWING TO BE KEVINS WIFE

- This cult thing is so fuckin weird omfg

- KEVIN GET YOUR SAD BUTT OUT OF THE CULT

- Oh gross not the Doppelganger shit again

- Doppelganger is really bad at flirting

- ….

- WHAT THE SHIT

- Nonononono don’t do the selfcest

- Not even Homelander is that fucked up

- This is super weird

- Why is Homelander crying

- OH SHIT HE KILLED HIM

- Uhhhh are they doing a lesbian scene in a vcu movie

- Christ that was terrible and way too on the nose

- “Strong female lesbians”

- Homelander you himbo fuck what other kind of lesbian do you get

- I feel bad for Ashley

- She just wants to do her job well

- Poor Butcher. His lil heart is broken

- Oh no baby you’re hurt and upset? That’s so sad let me suck your dick about it

- Oh no what’s he gonna do

- BUTCHER WHAT THE SHIT

- I mean it’s really fuckin hot but still

- There’s always a cut on the cheekbone

- “They’ve been moving her around like a Catholic priest” omg HUGHIE

- Aww he called Hughie his canary

- Oh shit are Frenchie and Kimiko missing?

- KEVIN GOT MARRIED

- BILLY HAS AN AUNTIE

- Doggiiiiie

- Awwwww soft Butcher with his dog

- Aaaand now I feel bad for Atrain cause he’s being kicked to the curb

- Oh gross this interview with Kevin and his cult wife

- This is so cringe holy fuck

- Bring back the Patton Oswalt gills

- Why are the gangsters discussing musicals specifically Hamilton

- FUCKING HELL KIMIKO PEELED OFF THAT GUYS FACE

- Ahahaha the boys showed up at Butchers aunties house

- The dog’s name is Terror that’s so cute

- Hahahaha Hughie was holding the fuck pig

- Why is there a sniper on the roof

- Oh shit it’s Black Noir

- Ugh what does Annie’s mom want and why is Stormfront being her friend

- Oh hey it’s dickless

- These two writer dudes are hella irritating

- Poor Elena getting dragged into this shit

- Yes Maeve scheme against his ass

- Heartbroken Butcher is so tired

- He needs a hug

- Hughie give Butcher a hug please

- Why is Kimiko in a church

- Oh hey its Frenchie’s other girlfriend

- Oh ok Kimiko is doing hits that’s fair

- The old man just looking away like “I do not see it”

- Aw no Frenchie don’t break up with Kimiko

- Oh fuck off Cult Kevin

- Stormfront again?????

- Does this bitch ever fuck off

- DID SHE JUST CALL ATRAIN GARBAGE

- Wait why is Homelander giving an unapproved speech

- �� This is gonna end in someone getting murdered isn’t it

- OH FUCK

- That’s a lot more murder than I expected

- Ohhhh phew ok he was just daydreaming

- Ashley is gonna go bald from stress

- I adore grumpy Butcher

- Omg auntie Judy is a drug dealer I love her

- Ohhhh shit Homelander is having a nervous breakdown

- BOBBY FROM X-MEN????

- Uhhhh why is Homelander talking to Stormfront this can’t be good

- Ooh MM set a trap this gon be good

- BUTCHER HAS A BROTHER???? THAT HUGHIE IS LIKE

- Oop Lenny is dead

- The random explosions as Black Noir trips the traps

- Oh shit Butcher locked the others out to face Black Noir alone

- YES MM

- OH NO MM

- YES HUGHIE

- Oh fuck did he KO Butcher

- Shiiiit shit shit shit

- Yes Butcher save your Hughie

- Oh good they all survived

- For fuck sake Kevin stop with the cult shit

- Maeve please save Kevin from the cult

- Annie why are you sneaking around don’t do it

- There’s a lot of shots of Annie’s bum

- What the fuck is Sage Grove

- Stormfront needs to go choke on a bag of dicks

- Oh fuck no not Homelander again

- Uhhhhhhh

- Stormfront x Homelander was not what I was expecting

- These two have the WEIRDEST relationship

- They’re gonna do some really fucked up supe bdsm shit aren’t they

- Frenchie is Betty White. Fair enough

- Wait what is happening. Why is Annie letting Frenchie at her with a lil saw

- Ohhh the chip

- “This might sting a little” FRENCHIE IT’S A FUCKIN SAW

- Oh fuck that’s a big chip

- Oh look it’s loves psychotic dream

- Well that’s suitably gross

- Aww Kimiko hugging Annie

- Butcher is so menacing I love him

- Kevin tryna be helpful to his buddies he’s so cute

- NO! NO BAD KEVIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE JOIN YOUR CULT

- Kimiko with her brass knuckle

- Oh man, flowers??? Homelander has it BAD

- Annie back the fuck off and leave Butcher alone

- OH SHIT IT’S STORMFRONT AT THE HOSPITAL NOOOO

- What the fuck is going on at this hospital

- OH FUCK BOBBY FROM X-MEN IS LAMPLIGHTER

- Oh shit who got let out

- What does Cindy do

- OH SHIT SHE’S THE HEAD BURSTER

- Aaaaaaand now they’re all out

- Good job, guys

- Ewwwwww acid vomit

- OH NO HUGHIE

- Are you kidding me?? Annie can’t go all Starlight unless there’s a power source in the immediate vicinity??

- What kinda fuckin shite superpower is that

- Aha Butcher agrees with me

- Ok so I’m guessing Homelander went berserk on set

- Uhhhh apparently Cult Lunch is a therapy sesh?

- Atrain get outta there

- This cult leader guy is an arsehole

- Hospital escape lookin like a horror survival game

- Awwww flashbacks to happy times

- Omfg Butcher with the slicked back hair

- Welp, Annie just killed a guy

- Oh shit a baby seat

- Annie is gonna have a bad case of the guilts now

- Oh fuck ok Lamplighter killed the kids by accident

- So Frenchie went to save his friend instead of tailing

- Oh god that’s the penis isn’t it

- Stormfront to the…rescue? Maybe? She’s gonna kill Lamplighter isn’t she

- Oh, no ok she didn’t kill him

- Aw no sad Butcher cause Hughie’s hurt

- Oh nooooo Elena found a video from the plane

- Mallory gon kill sad Lamplighter?

- Stormfront is coming clean to Homelander? Whaaaa

- She was buddies with the Nazis??? SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE VOUGHT FOUNDER GUY

- Oh fuck the head burster is still alive

- A montage of how Stormfront is brainwashing people into racist attacks, nice

- I hate Annie’s mom so much

- Black Noir has just fuckin LAMPED Annie

- Butchers mum called him 😂😂

- Oh shit his dad died

- Why are Hughie and Lamplighter watching knock off supe porn

- Oh boy a racist rally

- Homelander just threw Annie under the bus

- Hughie that’s a really weird pep talk

- And he’s gonna get Lamplighter killed

- BUTCHERS MUM IS ADORABLE

- Oh shit it’s Denethor

- And he’s not dead

- Oh fuck he’s why Lenny died?

- Shit Lenny shot himself

- Butcher was SAS???

- WHERE ARE MY PICS OF BUTCHER IN HIS ARMY UNIFORM

- Ah fuck he’s bringing stepmommy Stormfront to meet the kid

- I have an urge to run my fingers through Butchers beard

- Frenchie and Kimiko are too cute she’s teaching him her sign language

- Is this a cult birthday party?

- Poor Eagle the Archer. He pissed off the cult so he’s gon be excommunicated

- Uhhhh kiddo made a Lego film?

- Good for him

- I know it shouldn’t be sexy when Butcher starts threatening to brutally murder people in his growly voice, I know, but hear me out: sexy growly voice

- 11/10 would let Karl Urban murder me

- Oh FUCK Lamplighter killed himself

- Poor Hughie

- Why do all the bad things happen to him, like having to saw off a dead guy’s hand with a broken whiskey decanter

- Annie versus Black Noir, beat his/her ass girl!

- HUGHIE COME SAVE YOUR ANNIE

- YAY MAEVE

- Black Noir has an almond allergy that’s such an off the wall weakness

- Annie’s favourite chocolate bar saved her life

- Well Maeve did, technically. But still

- Omg Hughie accidentally saving Annie’s mom

- Hughie and Annie are too cute

- Oh shiiiiit Homelander screwed the pooch and showed the kid everything

- HAHA SUCK IT BECCA

- OH SHIT HEADS ARE BURSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE

- Butcher in his lil jumper

- For a non-American, this school safety psa video is supremely weird

- BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS CALLED BOB

- BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS JUST BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURAL BUT FANCY

- Annie’s mom critiquing her choice in boyfriends while in mortal danger is gas

- And typical

- The lads going nuts with weapons they’re so happy look at them

- And Butcher in his lil jumper again he looks so comfy

- I would very much like to cuddle him in the soft jumper and give him beard scritches

- Annie ffs let Hughie enjoy his Billy Joel, that’s a good choice

- Ahahaha Maeve just called Hughie a twink

- She’s not wrong

- Oh fuck off Becca

- Uuuuugh OF COURSE Mr Edgar is in with the cult

- Oop Atrain overheard all of that

- Poor Ashley she’s going bald from stress

- The kid is gonna have a meltdown

- Poor Hughie with his mom leaving

- I wonder if she’ll pop up at some point and turn out to be a supe that would be fun

- ATRAIN YOU CAN’T JUST APPEAR IN A CAR LIKE THAT YOU COULDA KILLED SOMEONE

- Hold the phone is Homelander actually being a good dad for a minute

- What the actual fuck is Stormfront on with this white genocide shit

- Ahahaha the news broke

- Uh oh the Vought soldiers got caught by Homelander

- OH SHIT

- MM BETTER BE OK

- Becca fuckin constantly squawking about Ryan is so annoying

- WHY IS KIMIKO LAUGHING

- It’s adorable but still

- Oh FUCK she snapped her neck

- She’ll be fine

- She’s like a wolverine, snapped neck won’t keep her down

- AYYYYY MAEVE

- The lads just watching them kicking the shit out of her like uhhh

- Oh hey Becca did something useful and stabbed the Nazi in the eye

- Huh. The kid melted Stormfront

- Good for him

- AHAHAHA YES HE GOT BECCA TOO

- BYEEEEE FELICIAAAAA

- I mean yeah, heartbroken sad Butcher isn’t nice to see, but Becca sucked

- Aaaand now Homelander covered in blood has arrived to listen to Stormfront babble in German

- This is like in those scenes where it’s like oh who will the dog go to

- Ayyy Atrain got back into the 7

- Aww poor Kevin getting rejected again

- See Kevin this is why we don’t join cults

- Annie thought he was breaking up with her, girl don’t be daft

- Butcher and the kid, not awkward at all

- The one lesson Butcher can teach a kid – “don’t be a cunt”

- Aww happy endings for all the boys

- Aaaaand a “happy ending” for Homelander too by the looks of it

- Oh ffs a corrupt politician in with the cult, what a surprise

- HIS HEAD BURST

- Wait the politician lady is the head burster? I’m so confused

- Confusion may have been aided by it being almost 3am

- Hughie getting a real job, bless him

- Too bad it’s with the head burster

- Oh this is such a good song to end the season with

- Welp, now begins the long wait for season 3, I guess

- Should I sleep or find fic to read

- Body says sleep, heart says fic

- That’s a lie, heart says Butcher

- ….Butcher fics it is

#theboys #theboystv #theboysmemes #theboystextposts #I'm back with more insanity #middle of the night is probably not a good time to be texting but hey ho #I'm still a shameless ho for Billy Butcher #that's so sad let me suck your dick about it #I mean like damn #Karl Urban doesn't mess around when it comes to thirst trapping #I need season 3 like yesterday #amazon please #the boys #season 3 #I need it

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lizaloveslevihan · 4 years

Note

my big mood today is an au where levihan is living the west coast life and going to the city to buy good bread and go biking next to the sea-side and maybe crossing the bridge as they the weather is so cold but they feel so warm from the exercise and each other's love <3

A Day Well Spent

He kneeled at the bedside, already dressed for the day with every intention to drag her out of the bed. However, as he stared into her sleeping face, the words died down his throat.

Her messy brown hair was everywhere, and she snored, mouth slightly agape, tiny hints of drool slipping from her mouth. He had already allotted himself time this morning to watch her for a couple of minutes before he got up and prepared breakfast, which was already waiting for them in the dining room. He had been incredibly tempted to just stay in bed with her all day, but he had already agreed with her plans, which, ironically, she had to be reminded of herself.

He carefully tucked a handful of hair behind her ear and traced his hand towards her bare arm, shaking it lightly. “Oi, four-eyes. Wake up. We’re gonna be stuck in rush hour.”

Hange groaned in her sleep. She lifted her arm and started waving her hand around until it finally smacked against his face. Levi sighed and took her hand in his, squeezing it lightly.

“Five more minutes, clean freak,” she yawned, “five more minutes.”

“It’s already nine, for fuck’s sake,” Levi said firmly. Hange huffed and squeezed her eyes, even more, crumpling her face a bit. Levi shook her again with a little more force. “You were the one who kept bugging me about going out today, so stick with your plan.”

Hange groaned louder and draped an arm over her eyes, shifting her body so that it was facing away from him. “It’s not my fault you’re so good in bed,” she complained, “I’m still exhausted as fuck.”

Levi sighed again, knowing that he now had to stick to his initial plan. He stood up, cracked his knuckles, and tore off the blanket that covered her bare body. Hange let out a loud shriek in surprise but had little time to react when he swiftly picked her up and carried her towards the bathroom.

The position was rather awkward, given their height difference, but Levi had already done this multiple times whenever she refused to take a bath herself. Hange normally didn’t complain, but this time, she was swatting his arm and growling like an animal. “I would have gotten up in five minutes you kn--”

She didn’t finish her sentence as Levi plopped her right into the bathtub.

“What the fuck?!” Hange screeched, feeling the water envelop her skin. She yelped, spilling some of it on the floor.

“I didn’t want to have to do this, four-eyes, but you left me with no choice,” Levi said as he crossed his arms. “Now you better hurry up or I’m leaving your ass in thirty minutes.”

Hange huffed. Of course, he’d already prepared a bath and everything. However, the annoyance she felt slowly died down as she noted the warmness of the water and the strong scent of lavender. She poked at some of the bubbles and felt her frown turn into a wide grin.

Levi scoffed and raised an eyebrow. “The fuck are you so happy about?”

“Oh, nothing.” Hange sang as she eased into the tub, feeling her muscles relax. She sighed comfortably and looked at him. “Just how much I love you.”

She grinned even wider as he was visibly taken aback, an unmistakable blush dusting his pale cheeks. “Just hurry up and wipe your ass,” he grumbled, suddenly turning shy and looking away. “I don’t wanna be stuck in traffic all day.”

“Aren’t you going to do it for me?” Hange pouted. She did her best puppy eyes, knowing it always had at least a fifty percent chance of working on him.

“Nice try,” Levi said as he swiftly walked out of the room. “Save your begging for later.”

As he shut the door behind him, Hange couldn’t help but giggle. He really was something else.

--------

The weather was finally turning cooler after months of excessive heat, so she was glad to finally be able to wear that soft, yellow sweater Nanaba had gotten for her on her birthday. She finished dressing, leaving her damp hair to dry first, and went out of the bedroom. She found Levi in the kitchen, sipping his morning tea.

Levi glanced up as he heard her walking in, and Hange observed how he stared at her a second longer before glancing down and taking another sip. “Took you long enough.”

Hange then noticed the plate of eggs and toast on the dining table, as well as her usual mug of coffee. “Thanks for breakfast, Levi!” she happily exclaimed as she took her usual seat, Levi joining her afterward.

They took their breakfasts quickly, seeing as they had a couple of places they needed to get to that day. In twenty minutes, they were already on the freeway, and much to Levi’s pleasant surprise, the traffic wasn’t as bad as he thought. The whole ride would have been perfect if only Hange didn’t control the music. Hopefully, she’d let him play his playlist when they drove to their next stop. He didn’t know if he could handle listening to her rap “My Shot” from the Hamilton soundtrack seven more times. He appreciated the music, but what he didn’t appreciate was her screeching every. single. word.

They got to the Farmer’s Market before noon and Levi managed to secure a parking spot by her favorite pastry stall. “Remember, we’re getting bread and fruit. Don’t you dare buy a fucking fish like last time.” He reminded Hange as they got out of the car. He walked around and met her eyes, already seeing the excitement in them.

“But that was so fun!” Hange complained. She immediately hooked her arm to his and started dragging him to the first stall.

“I went to the bathroom for ten minutes and the next thing I know you made your own campfire in Santa Monica and tried cooking an actual fish in it,” Levi emphasized. They stopped right in front of her favorite shop where she glanced at all the decadent options that laid in front of her. “You were fucking lucky that Arlert kid worked there and helped cover it up, otherwise, they would have probably arrested your shitty ass.”

Before Hange could reply, the old woman who managed the store finally saw and greeted them. “Oh, how nice to see you again Dr. Zoe! Mr. Ackerman.”

Levi nodded at the woman while Hange gave her a big wave. “Hi, Kate! We’ll have the usual. And maybe a box of these blueberry tarts. Thank you!” She smiled brightly.

Kate instantly returned the smile. “Of course. Half a dozen of chocolate croissants and a box of blueberry tarts coming right up, dear.”

Hange finally glanced down at Levi as Kate was busy grabbing the pastries. “Isn’t Armin such a sweet kid? He also works so hard at the lab, even if he’s an unpaid intern. I already promised him a superb letter of recommendation when he graduates, which makes us even I guess.”

Levi rolled his eyes. She was definitely shaping up Arlert to replace Moblit, should he finally die from stress from making sure she doesn’t blow herself up at work. Even though he never showed it (and never will) he was grateful for those two for taking care of her when he couldn’t.

“You need to stop watching those survival shows on Netflix,” Levi said as Kate started wrapping up their purchases. “Next thing I know, you’re gonna attempt to eat your own shit.”

Hange let out a large bark of laughter. She then bumped her shoulder against his. “My shit would probably taste really good though, you gotta admit.”

“Here you go, sweetie,” Kate said as she handed Hange a paper bag. Levi started to take out his wallet when the old woman stopped him. “Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s on the house today!”

“But Kate--” Hange started to protest. The old woman placed a hand on her shoulder to silence her.

“You two come here every Sunday, and it always warms my heart to see how sweet you are. That’s very rare for couples these days.” Kate smiled, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll let you pay next week, alright?”

Hange then gave her a big hug which made the old woman chuckle in delight. She returned the gesture and glanced at Levi, who nodded his head in gratitude.

They eventually pulled apart, and before they exchanged goodbyes, Kate walked up to Levi and whispered: “Take care of that one, okay? She’s a keeper.”

He glanced discreetly at Hange, drinking in her appearance and fighting the small grin that threatened to appear on his face. He returned his gaze to the old woman and spoke quietly: “You have no idea.”

It was after they purchased more food from the other stalls did Hange finally ask what the old woman told him.

“Oh, nothing.” Levi responded, the bright flower shop at the end of the hall catching his eye, “Just how much your shit would taste good.”

Hange laughed out loudly, gaining the attention of the people near them. Levi finally felt his lips turn upright at the sight of her happy face.

“I knew it.”

-------

They reached the beach after an hour-long drive that mainly consisted of fighting over playing yet another Hamilton song or Levi’s alternative rock and classical playlist. They eventually came up to the agreement where Hange was allowed to sing one Hamilton song and listen quietly to the rest. If she failed to do so, then she had to play Levi’s music. Suffice to say, Levi was finally able to enjoy at least some parts of the drive.

There was a park that was situated exactly next to the beach which was the perfect spot for lunch. Hange normally persuaded him to have a picnic in the sand, despite the obvious discomfort he had, but after seeing all the trouble she put him through last time with the fish situation, she was more than okay to eat at a picnic table at the park.

Hange felt herself instantly relax as the cool, salty air entered her lungs. She stretched out her limbs after being cooped up in the car for so long and closed her eyes, enjoying the breeze.

As much as she loved her job and the people she worked with, she was glad to have these nice days off -- especially with Levi by her side.

“Oi, instead of standing around like an idiot, why don’t you help out shitty glasses?” Levi called out as he opened the trunk and grabbed some of the bags of food they had bought.

Hange broke from her trance and did exactly that. They found a nice table and Levi got to working with placing a picnic blanket over it as Hange started to pull out and prepare the boxes of food and bottles of beverages. As they worked, Hange couldn’t help but discreetly glance at Levi as he neatly arranged the other boxes of food, his strong figure visibly relaxed, and his face calm, even though it had its usual stoic expression. The breeze picked up a little, slightly ruffling his dark locks as he concentrated on making sure nothing flew away.

“Take a picture, it lasts longer,” he said without looking at her. Hange couldn’t help but laugh at being caught, and she shrugged before sitting down, her hands making its way to the first box of pastries. “Eh. I already have too many photos of your constipated face on my phone. It almost makes me look like a stalker. Though that would be an interesting concept.” She bit into the croissant and sighed at its wonderful flavor.

Levi scoffed and sat across from her before grabbing a sandwich. “It’s not hard to imagine. I bet you already have some weird fucking shrine of me in your lab or some shit.”

Hange gasped, a couple of crumbs falling from her face. “How’d you find out?! I thought I hid it so well.”

Levi pursed his lips in amusement as Hange grinned at him. They ate in silence for a bit before falling into an easy conversation about their respective work and what they had missed talking about the past week. Hange excitedly talked about the new developments in the lab and the experiments she was thinking of proposing soon. In turn, Levi updated her on how he and Erwin were close to securing a deal with one of their potential investors.

They finished their food and after cleaning up and putting some of it back in the car, they proceeded to walk together by the seaside. Levi wasn’t keen on stepping into the sand at all this time, and Hange conceded. It wasn’t long before their hands were firmly clasped together as they walked, and they went on, passing by surfers and other beachgoers who also enjoyed a rather gentle sun and cold breeze. They inserted some personal commentary on each person they found interesting -- which varied immensely from a street performer to an old couple who wore swimsuits that left little for the imagination.

“Look, Levi!” Hange stopped and pointed to a bike rental stall. “Can we go?”

It wasn’t as if Levi had much choice, so he simply agreed.

After paying the rent (and sanitizing the handles on Levi’s part), they rode their bikes and followed the convenient trail specifically made for them. Hange, with her strong and long legs, obnoxiously went faster than him. “Oi, Hange! Slow down will you?” Levi called out. “It’s not a fucking race!”

Though he commended the effort, there was still no way she could outrun the man who actually had a fixed gym schedule. “The fuck, four-eyes?” he said as they finally pedaled side by side.

“Why, I thought you’d actually appreciate looking at my backside, short stuff,” Hange said, not bothering to look at him. “Your loss, I guess!” she called out.

She smiled smugly to herself as Levi took the bait and slowed down behind her. After a few seconds, she called out again: “Take a picture! It lasts longer!”

-------

They left the beach an hour before sunset, and this time, the drive to their last location was a calmer one -- Hange filling the air with more comments about the people and things they observed.

Levi glanced at her from time to time, the colors of the sky lighting her face. She went on and on about the man on the beach whose lover looked more like his daughter, about Kate and how they should give her something special next week as a thank you present, about her work agenda tomorrow and how she wanted to set up Moblit with Nifa, and what their plans were going to be next Sunday. Levi took it all in -- the sound of her voice, how she chuckled and laughed, her thoughtfulness towards others -- he took it all in and felt an overwhelming amount of happiness just by being there and listening to her.

Hange couldn’t help but do the same. Every time she sprouted something, she looked at his reaction and was pleased to see his amused expression. He looked positively gorgeous there behind the steering wheel, and she knew that he was listening to her every word despite it being nonsense to him. The moment he placed his hand in between them, she grabbed it immediately. Though he said nothing, she knew he was as happy as her.

They had gotten to the Observatory by the time the sun started sinking, and they pulled up near a bench with an incredible view of Los Angeles laid out in front of them. Hange immediately went down and sat, but Levi had other plans as he mysteriously went to the trunk and took out something from a bag. Hange stared at him in amusement as he closed it and presented her with a bouquet of sunflowers that matched her sweater perfectly.

“You haven’t studied these yet, right?” Levi asked. Hange smiled warmly and took it, admiring its beauty. He then sat down next to her, his face neutral.

“They’re beautiful.” Hange noted, “and yep. I haven’t yet.” She loved to study flowers and plants as a hobby, and Levi almost always provides her with them, even if he constantly argued he got them for free somewhere.

“They were giving them out in the market while you were in the bathroom.” Levi shrugged, keeping his face expressionless. “Thought you’d need something to work on in your free time.”

Hange hugged his side, giggling at his obviously constipated face. He draped an arm around her and they stayed that way for a good amount of time.

“You’re too kind, Levi,” Hange said, her voice muffled against his shoulder. “And you’re also a terrible liar.”

“Shut the fuck up, shitty glasses.”

Hange laughed again -- she seriously couldn't stop laughing when she was with him -- and pulled away, placing the flowers onto her other side. “So.” she started, now looking at the view that laid in front of them. “What are we doing next Sunday? I believe it’s your turn to pick.”

Levi already had the answer to that question. “We’re staying in.”

Hange raised an eyebrow, “Again? Don’t you want to try out that new tea place downtown?”

Levi shook his head and thought about how he seldom had the time to just laze around in bed with her -- especially given their often hectic work schedules. He thought about this morning, her calm and serene face, the drool from lips, her messy hair -- and he knew he wanted to bask in that silence, to stare at her face for as long as possible. Though today, he had to admit, was also a day well spent.

Hange understood and smiled softly. They wrapped their arms around one another, the cold air unable to penetrate the warmth from the love they deeply shared.

It was a day well spent indeed.

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katie-writes24 · 3 years

Text

Last Chance

Pairing: Alexander Hamilton x reader

Warnings: Language, suggestive material, brief religious content ig, angst, fluff, weddings, bad officiant script (if that makes sense), irl it’s kinda wrong but just go with it.

Part 2

I’ll just get straight to the point, Taylor Swift was the cause of this..... That’s it! You’re welcome, enjoy! Lemme know if you want to be tagged. Oh and also, can we appreciate that I finally figured out to put the ‘keep reading’ feature on because I finally set tumblr up on my computer? Yay me, this is a life changer you don’t even know!

As a kid, Y/N would be dragged to church every Sunday, told to represent her supposedly "religious" family. Her mother would force her into a dress, always reminding her to "sit like a lady" since there were always boys present, and you just never know. They would go and learn about the god above, be thankful that they were brought here, cheer his name.

When she was fourteen, she went into church on a Monday, this time for a funeral. She automatically noticed the change in tone, obviously, but since then she looked at churches a bit different. They weren't praised as much, they held an entire different meaning, one that wasn’t very happy at all. No, she learned that churches could be just as devastating as celebratory.

Like now, where people gathered in front of the steps, mingling and wearing expensive clothing. There was a truck on the lawn, workers were shoving different table sets across the road, where a large tent was set up. There was a group of people laughing a couple feet away, all looking down at a little girl with a white dress on. A stretch limousine rolled around and a few women climbed out with grace, all wearing the same pale color.

Truly devastating.

Y/N tugged at her own dress, hoping that the simple color would at least help her blend in with the crowd. Maria had told her it would be just fine, and it’s not like a new fancy dress was in her budget.

Besides, it’s not like anyone here cares about her appearance. They’re not here for her. In fact, she hadn’t found one familiar face yet, which should be a good thing, but Y/N couldn’t help but wonder how many of these guests both parties even knew.

“Would you ever get married?”

He scoffed, “Marriage isn’t very meaningful is it, why should I have to document my love for you? As long as we both know it right?”

“Okay...I guess you’re right, but I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a nice tux.” She wiggled her eyebrows, but it didn’t bother him.

“Is that all you’d want a wedding for? Because I will gladly put on a fancy tux if it meant you’d be down to-”

“Shut up! No, that’s not all. I’d like one, I’d think it’d be nice. It wouldn’t even have to be a big one.” She could see them by the beach, perhaps even getting married at the courthouse and use their money to blow on a big dinner after. She wouldn’t even mind a service in their apartment, it’s roomy.

“Well, not like I have anyone for a big wedding anyways…”

She sat down next to him and stroked her fingers through his hair. “We’d invite our friends. I could invite my mom, you know she loves you. We don’t need a bunch of people to have a wedding.”

“Good, because I don’t want a giant guest list where there are different number tables and- a full service and a grand ceremony. I just...I just want you.”

She wonders how much of this is total bullshit.

From where she’s standing, Y/N doesn’t think anyone would approach her. The lake is quite breathtaking, but the crowd is full of anxiousness and people are patiently waiting for the ceremony to start by the front of the church.

Some people pass her by, and she picks up on certain terms, like how “beautiful the church is” or “she picked out the perfect dress, Philip was crying it was so pretty” and her favorite “just wait till you see this guy, they are just perfect for each other.”

Perfect.

“I told you I can’t dance.”

“And I was a fool to not believe you. My feet are killing me,” He smirked and then laughed as she hit his shoulder.

“Fuck off! Why are we doing this again?” She looked up at the sky that cracked before her, grey clouds mushing together.

“Because dancing in the rain is on my bucket list,” He twirled her around, pulling her close when she fumbled out of the turn.

“Okay, what does that have to do with me? You’re telling me all your years before we met you couldn’t have gone outside and danced?” She grimaced as she felt drops of water against her skin.

“Maybe I was waiting for the perfect person to do it with?” A hand wrapped around her waist and she chuckled.

“Perfect? I am far from perfect,” They met each other’s stare and she got butterflies just seeing that look in his eye.

“Well, then this is perfect,” The rain started to beat against the cement below them. “You and me, here right now, together. It’s perfect.”

Lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t hear anybody approach until they called her name. Y/N turned her head a little too fast, scared that she would be caught, there would be a giant scene, and then she would lose her chance at-

At what exactly? She didn’t know either.

“That’s really you, isn’t it?”

Hercules always was so welcoming, she never felt out of place when she was around him. In fact, he actually had a small smile on now, dressed nicely in his, most likely own, tailored suit.

“Hey, Herc,” Y/N gripped her own arm, unsure if it was appropriate to go in for a hug. “You look nice.”

“Thank you, I made it myself.” He chuckled and opened his arms, allowing her to view his form. He looked just the same as she had seen him almost two years ago.

“It’s definitely you! Did that business of yours ever hit it off with the investors?” Maybe she was aiming for small talk in hope of a distraction, she wasn’t ready for the obvious to be out in the open just yet.

“No, but I’m working with something better. Got a lot of new line ups, good people to work with…” Hercules trailed off with a fond smile on his face.

“I’m really happy for you, Herc. You deserve it!”

He smiled, “What about you? What have you been up to?”

Y/N winced and tried not to fidget. “Still working for the same place, I actually got a promotion a couple months ago, so I’ve been busy with that...But everything else has been...things are going well.”

Hercules nodded, and just like a wave, tension flooded the air around them.

Y/N refused to look up and meet his eyes, to either see full curiosity, disappointment or any other mood that would just make her feel sick to her stomach, will have her asking the same question over and over to herself. However, the silence couldn’t stay too long.

“Y/N, what...why are you here?”

An older woman was yelling at a worker, wanting more champagne for the bride's suite. She was aggressive, and yet the guests around her weren’t baffled at her behavior in the slightest. Y/N hated entitlement, hated more when the rich forgot that other people aren’t as fortunate enough as them.

Y/N also hated that Hercules was still staring at her while she was wondering if her own mother would be so stressed as to the point of lashing out at others.

“How long have they been engaged?” She finds herself asking only to quiet her thoughts of if they were stuck in one place and never seemed to want more.

“Eight months,” Hercules sighed, never being one to push and always being honest. “Eliza’s sweet, she has a good heart. She’s loyal-”

Ouch.

“And she makes him happy.”

“Do you think we were ever… not happy?” Her eyes finally met his, instantly going soft and trying to word his answer carefully, even though Y/N could see a straight answer on his face.

“I think...you guys worked around each other well. I think you enjoyed each other’s company, and maybe you might have been in love once, but that’s in the past. Right now, over a hundred people are going to celebrate what’s best for him and Eliza…”

He’s not marrying you, he’s not with you.

It was something unspoken, but Y/N knew that was what Hercules was trying to get at, letting her know that her presence was unwelcome and that this was for the best.

Why was she here? Why did she think that today would be the day to confess her feelings that never drifted away? Why was she so selfish, and think that her happiness was more important than-

Someone approaches them rather quickly, and it makes her turn and brace for an attack.

Instead, it’s just John.

“What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here, you weren’t invited!” He was loud and he was causing a scene, something Y/N definitely did not want. He actually looked like he was about to jump her, but before he could move any closer Hercules puts his arm on John’s chest to block him.

“Relax, John,” Hercules looked back at her with a pointed look. “Y/N was just leaving.”

There was a pause, and she almost believed that yes, she was leaving. This was her cue, no one wanted her here, she wasn’t supposed to be here. Who is she to ruin a wedding? How could she do something so terrible?

“You should move in,” He ran his hand over her back, listening to her slow breaths.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’d be nice, having you here all the time?” He knew she was drifting off and probably wasn’t even registering what he was saying. He was proven wrong when she raised her head to look at him in the dark light.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt seeing you all day,” Y/N smirked as he nudged her with his leg. She kissed his chest and smiled down at him. “If I move in, there’s no turning back. Rent is too high for me to be switching back and forth.”

“I couldn’t think of anywhere else I'd want you to be.”

Y/N gave him a curt nod, walking backwards a bit before fully turning around. She walked all the way pass the church, passed the parking lot, all the way down to the end of the lake. She was out of sight.

But there was no way she was leaving. There was no way she was going to give up her last chance.

Even from where she stood, she could hear the beats of the traditional wedding music pick up, cheers from the crowd pick up as everyone hustled inside.

Her feet moved before she could even make a decision.

There was an elderly couple just walking into the room, and luckily the man held the door open for her. She thanked him and took the grand venue in. On each bench there was a bouquet of flowers, a white row leading up to the altar. It was packed, and Y/N could only imagine how many people she was about to shock.

She sat in an empty aisle seat in the back, and finally realized that Eliza was just reaching the top of the stairs, kissing her fathers cheek before he gave her over to him.

“Should I get a haircut?”

“No. I like it the way it is. You have nice hair, it’s soft and always so full. Why would you want to chop it off?” She caressed said hair.

“Eh, it’s too long. I think it’s a hassle to work with when I’m getting ready for work. I don’t know…” He looked in the mirror with a pained face. She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest, leaning her cheek on his back.

“Well, personally, I like it. But it is your hair. You know I’d love you either way.”

“Are you just being biased?”

“Mmh, well, I can’t say I don’t like having something to pull on.” She tugged and he whimpered before turning and kissing her, a full grin on his face.

He looked just like Y/N imagined him. In fact he hasn’t changed, except maybe the circles under his eyes got a bit darker. His hair was neatly wrapped in a ponytail behind his head, sharp tux on, a smile on his face.

Except none of that was for Y/N, it was for another woman.

Swallowing back the lump in her throat she cleared her throat, tapping her foot nervously as the officiant started speaking.

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the love of Alexander and Elizabeth.”

“Stop being such a poor sport.”

“You so cheated! You know what, it’s fine. Because I know what really happened.”

“I’ll tell you what happened: Mr. Hamilton sucks at Mario Kart!”

“You take that back!”

“Through their time together, they have realized that their goals and dreams are more meaningful through a combined effort and mutual support provided in love.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“You got promoted, Alex! You’ve come so far since we met. You work so hard, you stay late at work, you stress yourself out far too much for my liking. But you got exactly where you wanted to be! And from here you can only go up! I’m proud of you!”

He smiled, kissing her knuckles and thanking her.

“As we create this marriage, we create a new bond and a new sense of family.”

“I hope our kids have your eyes.”

“If we’re thinking about children, I have no problem shoving them right back if they don’t look exactly like you.”

“Alex, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m just saying. Your eyes, your nose, I even want them to be as witty as you.”

“I hope they don’t have your sense of style.”

“Hey!”

“Now, before we begin the vows, if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony-”

“You’re acting crazy!”

“No, I’m acting reasonable! You can’t seriously think that you were just going to let this go?”

“Where are we going, Y/N? We’re stuck in this one spot, and I can’t do it anymore!”

“Then don’t!”

“Let them speak now, or forever hold their peace.”

“I think I’m falling in love with you…” She wiped the tears from her eyes as he held her closely to his chest. “And I’m terrified.”

Y/N stands without letting herself have any more doubts.

Almost immediately, attention is drawn. There are gasps in the crowd, one woman even let out a horrid yell. The man sitting a couple feet away even scoffs, like Y/N’s idea was ridiculous. It’s enough commotion that causes the bride and groom to look her way.

Warmth filled her as his brown eyes connected with hers.

It went in flashes, Alexander’s emotions. First he was a bit confused, almost as to why their loved ones were making such noise. Then, it was anger, finally realizing that it was because someone was objecting to his wedding. And as their eyes connected, it was like he was sad.

Maybe it was because he hasn’t seen her since she walked out. Maybe it was because she was ruining his special day. Maybe it was because he knew she lost her chance years ago, and that even he knew it was too late.

Maybe it was because he knew the outcome of this.

Y/N took a shuddering breath, before saying the three words that could easily crush the hearts of everyone in this room. But she ignored the appalled crowd, she ignored the angry face of John right next to Alex, she didn’t even want to see how broken Eliza must look right now.

Instead, she focused on the very small quirk of Alexander’s lips, the small chance of hope that was promised.

#alexander hamilton x reader #alexander hamilton x oc #alexander hamilton imagine #my writings #alexander hamilton fic #hamilton fic #hamilton fanfiction #hamilton fanfic #I should probably rewrite this #but it's whatever for now #I've had no inspiration for the past four days and then suddenly at 4 am I finished this #soooo yeah #hamilton imagine #okay but this is totally inspired by speak now and exile

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stargazer-balladeer · 4 years

Text

Platonic! [Mystic Messenger]

Anon: hi !! can i ask for rfa x reader platonic! headcanons with v & ice cream boi saeran <3

Characters Included: RFA, V & Saeran

Note: This is one of my favorite works :P. I got carried away by this bc I rlly had so much fun writing it. Hope ya’ll enjoy this!

Additional Notes: You and MC are not the same people.

Reader’s Gender: Neutral (some bulletin might imply a feminine reader but take it how ever you want)

Warning: Dark themes in V’s scenario. Mentions of Suicide. If you’re sensitive to this topic, pls skip V’s. Thanks. Spoiler warning!

“UNREQUITED LOVE”

Seven

Honestly speaking, Seven is a friend that keeps joking around and fun to be with. He’s so easygoing yet he keeps building up walls around himself, distancing himself from everyone, even you.

He’s the kind that just keeps smiling, no matter what situation he was in.

It’s that reason why when you approach him for the first time, you could instantly tell he’s building up walls around him. But in reality, he just smiles.

Behind that smile though screams “go away” “why are you talking to me?” “who the hell are you?”

I think it’s very difficult to befriend him (The twins are, in general). BUT! Once you get past his build-up walls and warmed up to him, he’ll slowly also warmed up to you.

Now, going back to platonic hc.

You two will always have a competition. ALWAYS. Whether petty or stupid or crazy, it doesn’t matter. Seven is the exact definition of CRAZY, and I hope you are too.

You two will be spamming the chatrooms so much, much to the rest’s irritation. You two will be a dynamic duo that cannot be stopped.

Actually people might mistake you as couple (if ever you two go out, you usually stay indoors) since you two actually look like one. Of course, you two will deny it, stating your just friends, which is true enough.

Though sometimes you two took advantage of this. If there’s a couple discount in a store? You two will pretend to be a couple to get a discount.

Vanderwood would just get used to having two idiots in the house now, since you always crash in Seven’s house. You practically live there now. (poor Vanderwood--)

Seven would be so comfortable with you, that he can be himself. If he’s sure he can trust you, he will tell you about his past and about his twin brother. How he regret leaving Saeran, how he regrets everything about his life.

If MC joins the RFA, you instantly knew something was wrong with Seven.

If you realize that he loves her, you would definitely tease him about it. He would passionately deny it (with flushed cheeks), but you knew better.

You would be there for him when he realize what had happened to his brother, you comforted him as he cries. cries.

I would also like to imagine him telling you about the reset, and explaining to your confuse self. You’re the only one he can confide to about this information. Pls don’t break this trust.

You would definitely help Seven to search for Saeran, and be his best man in his and MC’s wedding (yes, even if you are a girl. Fight me.)

Overall, I think this friendship is a wholesome one. Full of trust and fun. Pls don’t abuse this friendship with Seven ;-; This poor bby boi has been through a lot..

Yoosung Kim

You two definitely meet during classes in College, whether sharing the same course or accidentally met in the library or cafeteria or anywhere. You two will instantly click.

Yoosung would, at first, be shy in talking with you. But slowly grew more confident as you two talk with each other.

He would DEFINITELY bring Rika up in one of your conversations. You would be like, “??? who?”

He then proceeds to explain that Rika was his cousin, and that she recently just died. Your motherly instinct activated when you see tears building in his eyes as you brought him to your chest and comforted him.

It isn’t hard for Yoosung to trust you, unlike Seven.

If you play LOLOL, this boi would be so ecstatic that he immediately suggested to play together. I hope you agree.

I imagine him being kinda talkative. So, maybe after playing LOLOL or finish doing a project or whatever, you two will sit together on the couch and just talk. Your conversation can be either heartfelt or weird or strange or funny. You two’ll talk endlessly until both of you realize that it’s super late at night.

Like Seven’s, you two will be mistaken as a couple by your classmates. You two’ll instantly deny it though, in Yoosung’s side, flushed face while denying.

But unlike Seven, you two don’t take advantage of this. You two probably didn’t know it existed until someone mention it to you or you found out.

You two are the innocent beans in the chatrooms. You usually save Yoosung from Seven’s antics, which the rest are grateful for.

I honestly see Yoosung as a Musical fan, like Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, etc. If you like those as well, expect jamming session of Musical Broadway songs.

I can also imagine if Yoosung is scared or nervous, he will instinctively grab your hand. It’s like he’s reassuring himself that your there for him, and won’t disappear from him. Unlike his cousin, his love.

He might come off as clingy but you better know that’s not the case. He’s scared. You can reassure him by squeezing his hand and smiling at him. “I’ll always be here for you.” he might shed a tear or two before smiling back at you.

When MC joins the RFA. The two of you were surprised at her sudden appearance but nevertheless welcomed her.

If you realize that MC likes Yoosung and how Yoosung keeps comparing her to Rika, you would definitely step in. You know that MC feels hurt that Yoosung keeps comparing her to his dead cousin, so you talk to him.

He wouldn’t take this lightly though. But eventually realized that you and Zen were right. MC wasn’t like Rika at all! Maybe even better!

You would be SO worried about Yoosung when you heard he lost one of his eyes. But you knew better to visit him so you spam him instead, letting him and MC have their moment.

You would be there when he became a veterinarian. You’ll also be his best man in his wedding (regardless if you’re a woman).

Overall... this friendship is one-of-a-kind. It’s rare to see a man like Yoosung nowadays. If ever you meet this kind of person, befriend them. I’m sure you wouldn’t regret it :)

Jumin Han

I can’t imagine anything else but during your childhood. You’re friends with him and V, and possibly Rika as well. But you’re close to V rather than to Jumin.

You’re actually scared of him really, since he has this aura around him that screams “superior!” “don’t talk to me peasant” “go away”. Yeah, not so friendly aura.

V would always reassure you that Jumin isn’t that kind of person. You, of course, believe him but it’s hard to approach someone like Jumin.

Once you’re older, you might have lost communication with the both of them. By the time you knew it, you heard V was getting married to Rika. And you knew who else has a crush on Rika. Jumin.

You, of course, congratulated them. But you were deeply concerned about the black-haired CEO. But when you approach him about it, he pushed you away.

When V suddenly died, you were gravely saddened to have lost a friend. You were deeply wounded at the fact that he left so sudden, why? why? why?

Jumin might’ve noticed you grieving so he’s the one approaching you now. He’s the one reaching out his hand, and you took it.

At the start of your newfound rekindled friendship, it was to say awkward and a bit rocky. But you were used to it so you persisted until you wiggle yourself into his life. And, surprise surprise, he accepted the fact that you are his friend.

You two will not always hang out however, since you two have work to go to. But you two will call each other frequently, asking each other trivial things, which is surprising coming from Jumin.

I also think someone will mistake you as Jumin’s girlfriend, but he will outright deny it.

He MIGHT MIGHT use this an advantage though. But not so much, since he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable or take advantage of you.

If you like cats, great! If you two are already like best friends, Jumin will let you meet Elizabeth the 3rd.

If you work with him in C&R, you’ll be expected to come to his office often to drag him away from his workaholic self.

By now, Jumin already considers you a close friend, that’s a first. The friend who never left him. So he confides in you about his insecurities in running the company, how he never had a family before since his father is a womanizer, hopping from one woman to another. He’s just a product of a one night-stand.

Just listen to him, that’s all he needed. You don’t need to talk, just listen. And pls don’t spread it either, Jumin’ll not like that.

He’s not usually talkative really. You’re the one who talks, if you’re a talkative person like Yoosung, the one who keeps the conversation going. But if you’re quiet, then the both of you can bask in silence in each other’s presence.

I would like to think Jumin thinks of you as a (sister/brother) he never had, a family.

And, very so often than not, he smiles to you. He’s so comfortable with you that he can be himself and not uphold his guard.

The rest of the RFA would take note of Jumin being soft towards you. Like he’ll be angry one second but once you’re in the chat, he’ll go soft. Like “???”. But I would like to think they’re happy that Jumin found a friend that he can trust. (Proud RFA)

(It’s also noticeable in the employees of C&R that Jumin has become soft towards you.)

You and Jaehee would DEFINITELY be friends as well. You may or may not have told Jumin to stop giving her so many tasks. But nevertheless, she’s grateful for you and happy that you’re also her friend.

Anyway. If MC joins the RFA, Jumin, being Jumin Han, was wary of her. You assure him that she meant no harm at all.

But once all was revealed, and founding out V was still alive. You had mixed feelings about him, like you’re happy that he’s alive but angry that he lied to you.

You’re also mad towards Jumin. He told you the reason why V died, but the reasoning was a lie. You don’t know who to trust anymore so you shunned everyone out.

Jumin was devastated, to say the least. He has grown into a trusting and loving friendship with you that was hard to build, and yet it broke. Like a snap of a finger, it immediately broke. He doesn’t know what to do. He lost a friend, the friend who never left his side, the one who cheers him on, the one who loves hanging out with him even though he’s boring, the friend who was a family to him.

He cried. Jumin Han cried. MC tried comforting him of course, but he never stopped. He wanted you back, he couldn’t bear to lose someone important again.

And, like a miracle, you came back. Oh how happy he was when he saw you standing in front of him. He immediately engulfed you into a hug, not caring if some people saw him. He got you back, that’s all that matters.

After the fiasco was dealt with, you would DEFINITELY attend their wedding. It’s either his Best Man or a Bridesmaid, he still respect the Church’s wishes afterall.

Overall, your friendship with this trust-fund kid was messy and started out rough. But once you two work hard on it, it blossomed. Until someone crush it and it became broken again. But once again, it stood strong and proudly, even though damaged. And I think it’s beautiful, no matter what anyone else’s say.

Zen

This guy is an actor, an egotistical, narcissistic guy. Who looks like a real-life Mafumafu and gotten his name “Zen” from a guy named Zen in Akagami no Shirayukihime (Snow White with the Red Hair).

Putting that aside, you two probably met accidentally in a set. Where you accidentally pour water on him during a break. You profusely apologized lots of time, and him reassuring you every time.

Yeah. Not an ideal meeting but a meeting no less.

Zen would probably took an interest for you. No, not romantic interest. He’s more interested in being your friend. He saw how you interact with other people, and especially your friends. He was, dare I say, jealous of people being with you. He wanted a friend like that, that’s all he wanted afterall.

He would take time to chat with you in-between takes (or breaks in Musical Broadway). He would eventually find out that you don’t care if he’s a famous actor that enjoys his looks. He found himself being comfortable around you.

If the set you two are in has ended, he would be disappointed. That means, there’s no more reason to interact with you. But you surprise him by telling him that if he wants to hang out again, just call me. He was ecstatic.

Whenever you hang out though, it needs to be in-secret. He would have to wear a disguise if he doesn’t want anyone to recognize him while he’s hanging out with you.

Where you hang out though is always a mystery. Sometimes in a park, sometimes in a amusement park, sometimes in a cafe, sometimes in a mall, and so on. It’s always random with him, but enjoyable nonetheless.

But if someone caught him hanging out with you and post it online.It would cause a frenzy really. But don’t worry! Zen would one way or another calm it down and state that you two are just friends.

Zen would DEFINITELY get you to ride his motorcycle, but wouldn’t force you to ride it if you’re scared. BUT! He’s persistent so you have no choice but to give in.

If you like Musical, great! Then the both of you can jam out with Musical songs, that he may or may not have sung (COUGH Hamilton COUGH).

But after the incident of the online, you hang out in Zen’s apartment or yours. You two binge-watch Netflix shows or watch a movie.

He would DEFINITELY force you to practice with him if he needs to practice for a role. But if the scene includes a kissing scene, he would kiss you on the cheek instead.

If he’s comfortable with around you, he would tell you about his past. How his family doesn’t want him to be an actor, how they immediately disowned him and how he got depressed.

You don’t need to talk really, comfort him. Pull him close and rub his back. “It’s alright.. I’m here.” Zen might burst into tears.

In the chatroom, you two act the same as usual. You actually mother the RFA. You reprimand him for being an addict to LOLOL. You reprimand Seven to eat other food other than Buddha Chips. You reprimand Jumin for being an workaholic, and for overworking poor Jaehee. The only one you don’t reprimand is Jaehee, she’s a precious angel.

You would DEFINITELY be there for him whenever Zen would perform on stage or on screen. You are his number one supporter after all.

When he feels nervous, he’ll instinctively looks at you. You, in return, flash a reassuring smile. Then his confidence would be boosted and his nervousness goes away.

This small action of yours, swells Zen’s heart. He’s glad to have a friend like you. A friend that actually supports him, a friend that loves him whole-heartedly, a friend that enjoys his company, a friend that will always be there for him. He finally found his longing friend.

If MC has joined the RFA, you noticed Zen’s personality shift a bit.

If you noticed how Zen and MC were falling in love, you would definitely be their Number One Supporter.

If you know the Echo Girl incident, you might not intervene. Letting them handle it since it’s their problem. (lol savage friend)

After everything has ended, you would be supporting Zen full-heartedly. He wants to marry MC? Alright. Let’s plan the wedding and engagement. He wants to find a romantic spot for a date? Alrighty, let’s check Siri.

You would be his Best Man (even if you’re a woman). He’s so nervous that he turns to you and you flash him a smile. The exact same smile you gave to him whenever he feels nervous.

He would forever be grateful to you.

Overall, your friendship with him may not seem like much on the outside, but on the inside, you and Zen would feel like you’ve known each other for so long that you understand each other so well. This friendship is also a beautiful kind, pls treat this boi right.

Jaehee Kang

I would definitely think you two met during her college days. You two were paired up in a project and that’s how you two click. It was you two were meant to be, like two puzzles fit together.

After that, you two would be found hanging out with each other. She admires your determination in finishing college and wanting to enter to your favorite job, while you admire her for her silent demeanor and how studious she was.

You two would DEFINITELY be hanging out in the library or in either of your rooms, just reading or studying. But sometimes you two were seen hanging out in the park, cafe or around the campus.

People might mistake you as a couple, but (of course) you two would deny it.

Even after graduating, you two still kept in touch. If you two were working in C&R, you would definitely talk with her during breaks. If you two were working in two separate works, you would call her still. But even if this happens, it’s not guaranteed that she’ll answer your call or meet you during breaks (since Jumin dumps her lots of stuff).

You will help her in some, which she protest at first but ultimately gave up when she realized how stubborn you could be.

If you two were hanging out in a rare day that she has a day off, she would make you binge-watch Zen’s performances, fangirling about it. You would support her of course, if you’re not a fan. But if you’re a fan, you both will be a squealing and fangirling mess.

In chatrooms, Jaehee would still be herself. You, on the other hand, would definitely play along with Seven’s pranks on Yoosung. Both you and Seven are partners-in-crime. Jaehee would definitely be the person who says “I don’t know that person. What’re you talking about?” while looking away from you.

If she’s overworking herself, you’ll immediately drag her away to relax herself.

If she wants to open a cafe, you would definitely support her and be an employee of it. But that’s much later.

Actually, if she’s stress, she would definitely rant to you about how bad of a boss is Jumin. You would need to give her coffee and open the tv to watch one of Zen’s performance to calm her down.

She would DEFINITELY open up her sexuality to you. You, of course, didn’t judge her and supported her.

If MC joins the RFA, you and Jaehee would be skeptical at first of course. A sudden girl suddenly entered the RFA without all of them knowing of her. It seems suspicious. But decided to shrug it off.

If you realize Jaehee is falling for MC, you would be suspicious of MC’s advances. So you decided to talk to MC about it. You know about the LGBTQ+ community, and fully aware of Jaehee’s sexuality. But you aren’t sure about MC.

You are only doing this because you don’t want Jaehee to be broken-hearted, to be lead on. So you had a talk with MC. And after that talk, you are now sure that MC loves Jaehee as much as Jaehee loves her.

After all the fiasco ended, Jaehee resigned being Jumin’s assistant and opened up a cafe with MC. You became an employee of it but only on the weekends or you have free time.

If ever they marry, you would be Jaehee’s maid-in-honor (even if you’re a boy. And no, you’re wearing a suit, don’t worry). You would be so proud of you for being who she was and you would be grateful to MC who made Jaehee who she was now.

I think this friendship is common but it’s also beautiful. It actually reminds me of my friends (now strangers.... unfortunately ;-;)

Ahh. My husband. Here we go.

You two met when both of you were teenagers, when he was in a photoshoot. He accidentally took a picture of you, and he apologized for it but you reassure him that it was okay.

After that meeting, you two became great friends. You also met Jumin and became friends with him.

You two would be hanging out everywhere. Since he’s a photographer, he wants to take picture of everything that seems interesting. But sometimes, you would be found in V’s room, looking through his taken pictures in his camera.

If you’re also a photographer, he would be so happy! He would take you everywhere that has a great scenery to hear the sounds of clicking of the camera. If you’re not, you can be his muse! (if you don’t mind, of course).

People wouldn’t mistake you two as a couple really, since they see how V sees you as a (sister/brother) and you to him. They can see it in the aura.

Few years past, and you met Rika.

When you first met her, you could immediately tell something was wrong with her. You didn’t take Psychology in college for nothing!

But you don’t have the heart to tell V about it, since he looks so happy with her. You can also tell that Jumin has a crush on her as well.

As days go by, you and V were falling apart. You two slowly didn’t talk anymore, which confuse you greatly. why was there a distance? did I do something wrong? did I say something? why? why? wHY? WHY?!

You felt empty without V. He was your half after all, a brother. Now he’s gone, you felt lonely without him.

You knew about the RFA. And Jumin suggested you to join, so you did. You felt better as you interact with the other members. Jumin could see it, Rika could see it, V could see it.

But what drove you to succumb to depression, the last struck, was V’s death. That was the last one to destroy what little sanity you have left. You even tried to suicide, but Jumin caught you before you could try.

You grew more depressed as the days go by. You wouldn’t come out of bed or eat the food given to you. This made the members of the RFA worry about you. So they tried their best to make you better.

Jaehee tried to make you get out of bed to eat, but wasn’t successful. Zen tried to make you laugh with funny videos, which you turn your back on him. Yoosung tried to make you turn to video games for comfort, but he didn’t succeeded (he left with teary-eyes). Heck, even Seven tried! Well, tried as in making you a device but you ignored it.

Until Jumin was the one who ultimately made you stand up and eat. He said that if V sees you like this, he would be very disappointed and worried.

“He doesn’t care, Jumin. Give it up.”

“He DOES care, [Y/N]. Now, don’t be a child and stand up and eat.”

And that led you to arguing with him. You screaming that he doesn’t know what you feel, how it feels to lose a friend, and how you want to die. Until Jumin screams back at you,

“I ALSO LOST A FRIEND!”

You stopped. You literally froze as tears began pouring out of your eyes, now feeling guilty. You weren’t the only one who lost V, Jumin has and even Seven, who sees V as a father figure.

After that time, you started getting better. Jumin insisted you work in C&R, so you decided to agree. Life was turning for better until MC joins the RFA.

Ever since MC joined, many things have happened. You discovered V was still alive, how Rika tortured him and Saeran, how she’s the mastermind behind Mint Eye, everything was too much for you.

Even though you had a grudge against V for lying about his death, your hearts yearns for his presence. But when you saw how MC was persistent to save V, you joined her.

In saving V, you also saved Saeran. V apologized profusely to you and you forgave him. You thought everything was working.

But when V disappeared once again, you were sick of it. Sick of V always disappearing, so you cut your ties with the RFA. You moved into another country and lived there for the rest of your life, living behind everything you knew about them.

After years of living in a completely new country, you received a message in Korean. You saw it was from Jumin, you want to ignore it but you decided to read it. It was a picture of MC’s and V’s child. Then Jumin send another text saying, “Come back, he misses you.”

You decided to return, only to be greeted by the RFA in the airport along with V and his child. You stared at them for a while before returning your gaze to V. Your lips turned into a smile, “hey.”

V smiled sadly at you, “hey.”

Overall, LOTS of obstacles you have to face in order to have this friendship. But there’s a saying that, “If you can say goodbye, then you can say hello once more.”. No matter how much you two have been separated by fate, you two will always be friends.

Saeran

You two would meet after he was saved by MC and Seven from Mint Eye. He would, of course, be hostile to everyone, even you. You two will meet when buying ice creams in a ice-cream stand.

He would push you away immediately if you want to get close to him, with his mindset in him still being dangerous and you untrustworthy.

But if you start meeting every time Saeran goes out, you would slowly warm up to him. He would, at first, think you’re a stalker since its strange for the two of you meet everytime he goes out. He, of course, would still be hostile with you.

If you manage to break his walls, he would slowly but surely open his heart for you. He’s still wary of you, that doesn’t change.

You two will hang out either at their home or outside, near an ice-cream stand.

People would not mistake you as a couple since they don’t look at you. Saeran glares at everyone who stares at you two, they’ll probably think overprotective brother instead.

He will NEVER bring up his past, ever. Even if he’s comfortable with you, he wouldn’t bring up his past. He’s still afterall afraid of what you’ll think of him.

You wouldn’t know about his past, unless Seven mentions it. But you better never pry on it.

You know when Saeran is comfortable with you since he lets you sit near him and shares his ice-cream with you, which lead to a pouting red-headed twin as he stares at the two of you from afar.

If he has nightmares, he would lash out to anyone who’s in the same room as him. If you’re in his room and he has a nightmare, expect Saeran jumping on you and chocking on you. It’s either Vanderwood and Seven who has to push him off you to let you breath.

He would, of course, feel guilty for almost killing you so he outright avoided you. It will go on a while since he’s stubborn. You have to be the one to reconcile your friendship.

He always holds your hand, squeezing sometimes. It’s a tell-tale sign to him that you’re still here and not somewhere else. He trusts you so you better not crush it.

He’s like Seven in so many ways. When he trusts someone, it’s usually whole-heartedly. But, like Seven, he’s scared to break down his walls. To let someone enter into his heart only to rip it out. It’s too much for poor Saeran, so he cage himself.

If he starts to like MC, you could immediately tell. You would endlessly tease him about him as he tells you to shut up with a flushed face.

In secret though, you would have a talk with MC about Saeran. She would understand that you’re just worried about your (tsundere) friend, and she promises to love him for eternity. (COUGH reset COUGH).

You would definitely be his Best Man (even if you’re a girl), he would fight anyone who oppose it. (LOL I can totally see this happening).

Overall, this friendship is similar to Seven’s. It’s beautiful and it’s built on strong trust to one another. Pls don’t betray this ice cream bby. ;-;

[x] Main Page || [x] Mystic Messenger Page

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heatherclowndler · 4 years

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An Open Letter To the Six Fandom

I'm gonna be real with you guys: I’m getting really tired of the moral superiority of some people in the Six fandom. Six is a barely historically accurate concert-musical where the queens fight about their trauma for an hour, but it’s about white women, so I guess that means that its #girlpower is so much more respectable than Hamilton being representation to POC.

If you think I'm not talking about you, I am, @historemix / @ghostheather . I’m fucking sick of your bullshit. How come every time you get called out for being a hypocritical bully, you have a little meltdown, say you'll be better, and then go back to the same bullshit as before?

Before I actually get into the reasons that you’re a hypocrite and a bully, I want to thank everyone that sent me the screenshots and testimonials used in this post. It’s good to know that multiple people are as fed up and disturbed by this behavior as I am, and it wouldn’t have been possible without you.

Anyways, back to the matter at hand. First and foremost, your obsession with being on a fucking high horse is embarrassing. Your self-congratulatory posts about the Six fandom being so much better than the Hamilton fandom is fucking laughable coming from you, and here's why.

Before you get on about the Hamilton fandom being toxic, and the major reason why you can't fuck with the musical, remember that much of the fandom are people of color: most of whom are also minors. And they’re often the first to be driven out of it– not by harmless headcanons and fanfics or kids being "cringy”, but racist, toxic ass adults, colorism, whitewashing and constant harassment. Black fans, minors especially, would be the first to tell you this, since there’s been multiple incidents on Tumblr and Twitter where Black fans have been harassed, called slurs, etc. just for liking the musical, and that isn’t even getting into the amount of shit that’s been sent to the Black cast members for being a part of it. But clearly you haven't been fucking bothered to read the posts of how Black people in this fandom and in the cast have been treated, because maybe if you did, you’d be quiet and think before you start spouting shit, instead of constantly putting Hamilton’s name in your mouth to say shit that you think will give you woke points with the funnymen crowd.

Do you really think that the same bloggers that make fun of Hamilton would see any difference between those fans and you, the adult stanning a musical where Real Life Catherine of Aragon, a character played by a black woman, owned slaves, and was the person that introduced slavery into England is portrayed as a strong, feminist Queen? Or how Catherine Parr, a woman who was complicit in child molesation and later got upset with said child for being a victim of sexual abuse, is portrayed as the ultimate feminist and hero of the musical? Or is it okay for you to talk about how these child-molesting slaveowners were oh so admirable and honorable because you "respect the history,” whatever the fuck that means.

Yes.. I'm sure white women from the 1500s would be so pleased about the fact that their history is being told by women that they thought were inferior to them based on the color of their skin.

Also sidenote, you may want to reconsider your definition of what is a respectable Six fan when you're writing a literal AU for your favorite dead queens. Sis, just say that you want to write Six fanfiction. There’s no shame in it– especially because the people that write Six fanfiction are more respectable than you are.

But speaking of history, you need to take off your clown mask and realize how ridiculous the notion that “respectable Six fans” are ones that have a genuine respect for Tudor history, because despite the fact that you say this, Six completely disregards the actual Tudor history.

Take the example of Boleyn. Anne Boleyn – a woman who was judicially murdered on false charges including incest with her brother, witchcraft, and adultery in part because she couldn’t give birth to a son and wouldn’t be a submissive wife to her husband – is reduced to a three minute comic relief song that makes light of her murder and states that yes, she actually was guilty of adultery, but she only flirted with those guys to make Henry jealous! Writing an entire song about a woman whose name has been dragged through the mud for nearly 500 years after she was murdered on false charges and then saying that she actually did do the thing that caused her to be executed is just peak #Feminism, am I right? And so is making light of her unjust execution by calling the song “Don’t Lose Your Head” and continuously making joking references to her being beheaded, I guess. Never mind the fact that Boleyn was reportedly near-suicidal and “ready to be done with life” by the time she was executed. Never mind the fact that the six fingers rumor – something that’s also repeated in the musical and presented as a fact – was started by Catholics attempting to quell people’s sympathies over Boleyn’s execution by attempting to make it seem like she actually was a witch and therefore deserved to die. None of that matters because Six is about feminism and it does the Queens justice, right?

And let’s not even get started on Catherine of Aragon. You know, the person who you've reblogged posts about that claim she was “a remarkable woman”, and that you’re apparently so sad about the fact that she died that you’ve made memorial posts about her knowing good and well that she was a garbage person who owned human beings? The same Catherine of Aragon that was reduced in the musical to only being angry that her husband cheated on her and wanted to divorce her, as well as bickering with Boleyn? The same Catherine of Aragon that also was reduced to constantly talking in the musical about how she was forced to move to a country where she didn’t know anyone? On that note, isn’t it funny how that works? Especially since she and her garbage family owned slaves, forced them to convert to Christianity and change their names to Spanish ones, and then forced them to come to England with Catherine when she moved there to marry Arthur Tudor!

All of the queens are dumbed down for the sake of the musical and it isn't until the very, VERY end of the musical that they all realize that fighting over who got the worse abuse from their husband is fucking stupid. And, even then, it’s still incredibly fucking problematic and gross because the Queen that makes them realize that the fight is stupid, and ultimately the Queen that’s praised for being the most feminist in the musical and by its creators, is the Queen that literally held her stepdaughter down while her husband molested her. If you’re really so damn upset about how much Hamilton and its creator glorify the Founders that it ruined your ability to enjoy the musical when that musical at least still acknowledges the fact that Presidents Washington, Jefferson and Madison owned slaves (and its creator acknowledging that none of the Founders were good people), why aren’t you upset about how Six portrays Catherine Parr and Catherine of Aragon as feminists when they were a child molester and a slave owner, respectively, and it's never acknowledged in the musical? Why isn’t your enjoyment of Six ruined by the fact that the Six creators praise Child Molester Parr and Slaveowner of Aragon for being strong feminists, or the Six Instagram calling Ferdinand and Isabella (you know, the people that committed genocide against Black people in Spain, had others tortured and executed for their race&religious beliefs, and literally caused Columbus’s colonization of the Americas [and by extension, the Transatlantic Slave Trade] to begin) a “power couple”?

The entire premise of Six is flawed, arguably even more so than Hamilton’s, because at least Hamilton actually did what it sets out to do throughout the entire musical, and not just the last five minutes. But even so, the basic plot idea remains– fictionalized (heavy emphasis on the fictionalized, Heather!) versions of real people fighting to tell their story. So, if the creators of Six cast aside historical accuracy for the sake of creating a diverse and modern take on the Queens’s lives and you eat it up as much as you do, why should we give a shit when Hamilton does the same thing? Since you love Six so much, you clearly fucking don't, because otherwise you’d be shitting on Six just as much as you like to shit on Hamilton. It really just goes to show how much of a hypocrite and a pick-me ass bitch you are, because the fact that you love Six makes it really obvious that you only care about hating Hamilton so much because it’s a stance that you think will give you more street cred with the Tumblr and Twitter crowds.

^^ The absolute hypocrisy of you reblogging this when you regularly make posts and reblog posts of you and other people doing the same thing with Hamilton and its fandom. Embarrassing.

I'm saying this as someone who enjoys Six’s songs and also has common sense and brain cells– they're fictionalized versions of real people, and those real people were shitty. And that’s okay. But you need to stop embarrassing yourself and acting like you’re morally superior to people that enjoy Hamilton when your core arguments for enjoying Six literally could also be said for Hamilton, and your core arguments for hating Hamilton could be said (and would definitely apply better) to Six. I see you all the time making the argument about how important it is for Six fans to see an all-woman cast, do you think Hamilton fans of color can't make the argument that they feel it's important to see a cast with over 95% POC? How for those teens, it brought them into giving musicals a try in the first place (this is just one of many examples)? How Hamilton's overwhelming success brought jobs to so many actors of color, including helping some of them (most prominently, Daveed Diggs) make a stable enough income to give them a place to live and rest their head? When it paved the way for musicals like Six to gain popularity, too? Cognitive dissonance isn't a good fucking look on you, luv.

And don’t even try the "creator is problematic argument", bitch. You're all over Mean Girls, where the creator (Tina Fey) is shitty for a multitude of reasons, blackface and saying the n word included. Not to mention the Heathers musical, where the creators turn JD into a sympathetic villain and apologise for him when the director and writer of the original movie made it clear that JD wasn’t a character that people are supposed to sympathize with. It's a fucking joke that you go "I can't get behind a musical with a bad creator!" when you base your whole blog around a musical whose creator that's transphobic and antiblack, as well as a musical whose creators apologise for an attempted school shooter and use their musical to make him sympathetic. We know LMM is a piece of trash, but that doesn't give you the right to steamroll over fans (again, most of whom are minors of color) who just want to mind their business and enjoy a fucking show, like a pick-me ass theater kid you are.

And while we're talking about your hypocrisy, let's talk about your incessant harassment of a teenage Six fan for fucking months. You’ve instigated wave after wave of bullying towards a fan who was only 15 at the time when it started, for various reasons. I don’t give a fuck if you were just trying to “spread awareness” about their actions, or get them to change their ways, or whatever. You’re a grown ass fucking adult. If you see a minor in fandom – especially one that’s 3+ years younger than you – doing cringy/problematic stuff, let other minors be the ones to say something about it. Your harassment and creepy behavior around minors isn’t justified by the fact that you think that you’re doing something good.

This is just one of the many examples of you vaguing/posting about the teenage Six fan under the guise of trying to “spread awareness” about their reaction. This one is just fucking rude, especially because they’re a minor with ADHD/ADD that projects traits that they have onto fictional characters and vice versa. I’d expect you to know a lot about projecting onto characters and picking up traits from them, since you channel Heather Chandler and Regina George’s bitchiness and their consistent harassment of teenagers that they consider to be lesser than them into your internet persona and identity, am I right?

The potential end result doesn’t justify the means; but clearly you think it does since you never say shit about this teenager getting harassed until you get called out for your complicity in it, say that you never sent them any asks, promise you’ll do better about the way you interact with minors in fandom, repeat.

Not to mention the complete hypocrisy of this statement in the tags of one of the below posts– especially considering that you were the one that made it open season on this girl in the first place with your consistent vaguing about her and making joke posts about her with your friends when she was only fifteen. And on top of that, denying that you ever harassed Lizzie, claiming that your only crime was vague posting her – when you and your shitty friends posted memes about stuff that she had been doing and making it really clear in your vagues that it was about Lizzie. Just because you didn’t name her directly doesn’t mean that it wasn’t harassment, asshole.

Oh, and here you are, months earlier, admitting that you did cause her to get harassed and acknowledging that you named her? Interesting.

The fact that you say that you have to take responsibility for it, but you never fucking do? [Narrator Voice] Heather would not take responsibility for that.

And let’s not forget how after almost driving the girl to the point of suicide and after getting called out multiple times for it, you promised to be a better person, before running to Twitter and continuing to vague about her. And in addition to that, you making memes and joke posts about Jay, the black teenager who was also bullied almost to the point of suicide for minding his own fucking business and making some fucking fanart and quirky headcanons, is fucking nasty. To further stick your nose up at him and go “not my fandom” at him for drawing Trans!Jefferson art when your Tumblr icon is Anne Boleyn with a lesbian flag behind it and your Twitter icon is the same thing with Katherine Howard... the joke writes itself. Do I have to repeat my point?

Not to mention the fact that you fucking lied in your apology on your viral post about him, because you said that you only became aware of the fact that he was a Black teenager that was harassed after the post whent viral.. when someone told you months before (in the replies to the above post) that he was a Black teenager that was harassed relentlessly for his fanart and asked you to leave Hamilton fans of color alone. But clearly you still stand by your point about Hamilton fans. Who’s surprised?

And then after receiving a 22-anon thread where anon presumably called you out on your hypocrisy of this, you still went to Twitter and started bitching about the fact that you were called out despite saying that you were deeply ashamed and that you would do better. Yet another example of Heather the Hypocrite, am I right or am I right?

You really switch up from “I feel incredibly ashamed and I want to reassess where to go forward from here” on Tumblr to “I hate Tumblr purity culture” when you’re on the safety of your Twitter account like clockwork. And it’s awfully bold of you to mention Tumblr purity culture like you didn’t cause waves of harassment to be sent to a 15/16 year old girl to the point where she felt paranoid that someone was going to come to her house and attack her, and later make memes/joke posts about a Black minor who was harassed to the point where he tried to commit suicide and later had to get rid of his online presence altogether for his own safety.

Also, you posted the IP address of the anon who called you out, and tagged them as “asshole” on the website that you use to track IP addresses. But you genuinely felt ashamed, right? You wanted to change and reassess yourself, right? (The anon’s IP address has been blocked out by me to protect their privacy, because the person who sent in this screenshot didn’t black it out, either.)

And even then, aside from all that, your actions have caused multiple minors in the Six fandom to feel uncomfortable. Below are testimonials about your behavior, and how it’s made minors in the Six fandom feel. One of these is also a reply on a post that called out your behavior. (URLs and icons on both Tumblr and Discord are blacked out to protect their privacy.)

Take in what these testimonials are saying. The fact that your behavior with harassing minors has grown so much that people are afraid to post in the Six tags and express their love for the musical because they don’t want to get harassed by you and your group of friends is concerning.

You, a grown adult, have made minors scared to be themselves and do things their way. You’ve created a culture of fear in a fandom where over 80% of its active fans are minors. You should have been leading by example, showing Six fans how the message of uplifting women should be implemented, but instead? You caused a floodgate of harassment to be sent to a then-15 year old girl that got so bad that she was suicidal and paranoid that people would come to her house, and it ended with even more minors afraid to post in the fandom’s tag because they’re afraid that you and your shitty friends will come for them, too. Shit, I was a follower for a while! I had only unfollowed due to your moral high horse, but it wasn't long before I was made aware about your history of bullshit.

You shouldn’t just be ashamed of yourself– you should be mortified with yourself. And your little friend group should be, too: not only because of their part in all of this, participating in harassing and making fun of that poor girl with you, but because of the fact that they keep enabling you to do this harmful shit by not properly shutting you down or calling you out. But it's not like you care anyways, because you’ve made fun of people voicing their concerns about your behavior and calling you out for making the fandom an unsafe space.

"But I said I'm sorry-" Yeah, we know. We saw a series of half-assed “I'm sorry” posts, paired with you not taking real responsibility for any of the harm you’ve caused. And clearly you didn't actually mean anything you said, because you kept doing it again. And again, and again, and again.

By the way, Heather, the implication that you would be indicted for murder if Lizzie committed suicide despite never speaking to her isn’t just an implication: it’s a literal fact that people can be prosecuted for manslaughter/murder without ever laying a finger on the suicide victim. This includes cyberbullying.

It means nothing to admit you're a hypocrite and do nothing to improve, especially because you’ve said this same exact “apology” multiple times, almost word from word. You're a grown fucking adult that vicariously lives out her dream of being a highschool bully through Tumblr by harassing teenage girls on the internet, and it gives me secondhand embarrassment. Grow the fuck up already, Heather. You’re 20 years old.

You're always harping about how the Six fandom is becoming toxic and embarrassing without considering the fact that you’re one of the toxic ass adults that make children embarrassed and ashamed to be a part of their fandoms. Whenever they do something even slightly cringy, and not even genuinely problematic like some of the other shit in the Six fandom, you’re quick to be like “This isn’t respectable,” “The Six fandom is going to be the next Hamilton fandom,” or whatever the fuck else you say. Teenage girls calling Boleyn a gremlin and making headcanons about the queens siblings/children is not the end of the world, and the fact that you act like it is when you’ve actively created a culture of fear in a fandom that’s mostly made up of teenage girls is embarrassing and disgusting.

I don’t care about whatever apology or sob story you’re going to say after you see this post, because in the end, it’ll just be an empty promise as long as you stay on here. At best, you’ll say that you’re going to do better and leave Tumblr for what, a month? Only to bitch on your Twitter account for the entire month, then come back to Tumblr and do the same exact thing that I’m calling you out for.

You need to stay away from minors in fandom. As a matter of fact �� stay out of fandoms that are mostly made up of minors as a whole. You’ve proven time and time again that you don’t care about the safety or feelings of minors, nor do you care about actually “improving” or reassessing yourself every time you get called out. The fact that you’ve been called out for the same things via being indirected on a Tumblr post (linked here), being sent multiple anons by different people (shown above), and being sent a 22-anon thread by one single person calling you out (stated by you above), and you still haven’t changed? Is all of the proof that I need that you won’t change.

That’s all I have to say to you.

People in the Six fandom, I’m heavily urging you not to continue giving this person a platform. I can’t force you to do anything, but you all deserve the right to know what’s been going on. Aside from her hypocrisy about Six, it’s historical figures, and its fandom as a whole, she’s been involved in harassing a minor to the point where she felt paranoid and wanted to leave the fandom on separate occasions, made jokes about another minor in a different fandom that was harassed to the point of attempting suicide on multiple occasions (then lying and claiming that she was never told he was a Black minor who was harassed after she was called out due to a post she made about him going viral when someone told her months before that he was all of those things in the notes of another post she made about him), and other minors have posted/stated that they feel her behavior went too fair, and that because of it they feel unsafe posting stuff in the fandom.

She’s been called out on her behavior on multiple different occasions, and each time she said that she would reassess her behavior and discuss how her actions were toxic. People have given her multiple chances, and each time, she’s gone back to the same toxic behavior and done the very things that she claimed she would stop doing. It’s getting ridiculous at this point, and her actions have gotten to the point where it seems like the only course of action is to call her out publicly.

Like Heather herself said, and I will now brilliantly quote because karma is a bitch: “If you keep making the same “mistake” MULTIPLE TIMES, people aren’t gonna be happy about it.” She isn’t exempt from criticism, especially when this stuff has happened multiple times and she hasn’t done anything to change her behavior. Listen to what she said, and hold her accountable.

Again, I can’t force you to do anything, but I hope that everyone in the Six fandom keeps what was said in this post in mind the next time they consider interacting with her or her content. Take care.

#six the musical #six musical #if youre in the six fandom pls reblog this to spread awareness. this has gone on for long enough #ghostheather

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galactic-magick · 4 years

Text

Not So Different: Virgil x Reader

Request: Can I get uhh new side (Pride?) Who is female and everyone is surprised and it's virgil x reader and lots of him being jealous even tho u aren't together and angst and him being the big spoon and stuff ty mwah (sorry if this is badly written I'm going on 1 hours of sleep in the past 2 days hahaha okay - @hhh-angels

Summary: You are Thomas’s prideful side, and you immediately bond with Roman for obvious reasons. Virgil doesn’t like that very much…

Words: 1400+

Warnings: angst, jealousy

Author’s Notes: I hope you like this! There’s a few time-skips cuz I wanted it to be kinda slow-burn and build up the angst lol. (Also I’d just like to say there is no Roman hate here! He’s kinda viewed as the bad guy in this but I promise I love him plz don’t come after me)

“Hi!” you pop up next to Roman, waving to Thomas. Everyone jumps, but you’re so happy to actually be here that you don’t mind their intense reaction. Deceit’s done a great job at hiding you for years, and you’re finally getting to reveal your existence.

You represent Thomas’s pride. You’re not really either a light or dark side, since pride can be used in so many different ways. Pride can be used for good, such as when Thomas is confident in his achievements, ideas, and sexuality. But if it gets too strong, it can become an issue. Excessive pride can lead to being self-absorbed, insensitive, and arrogant, and unfortunately that may be the reason you’re here.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Thomas asks.

“I’m your pride!” you grin. “But you can just call be Y/N,”

Roman looks you up and down, “But, why are you-?”

“A girl? I just felt like presenting myself this way. Do you need me to change?”

“No, no, of course not! We can sing Disney duets together!” You and Roman immediately start singing “A Whole New World.”

Virgil rolls his eyes.

Thomas stares in disbelief, “I’m still confused, why are you here? Where did you come from?”

“You tell me, Thomas,” you laugh, continuing to sing with Roman.

“Did you guys know about her?”

“Not particularly, no,” Logan and the other sides shake their heads.

“Virgil? Is she another dark side?”

“Not exactly,” he sighs. “But I- I should’ve been able to stop her,”

“Why?”

“Yeah, why, Virgil?” your singing stops and you meet his gaze.

“I’m the one who’s supposed to balance out Thomas’s ego with self-consciousness and insecurity,”

“Who needs that,” Roman scoffs.

“Actually, he does need it,” Logan corrects, pulling up a chart. “Think of it as a modified Yerkes-Dodson curve. With anxiety, one side of the extreme is complete carelessness, and the other is full-on panic. With pride, one side would be self-loathing, and the other would be narcissism. Ideally, everyone should be in the middle, having confidence in yourself but not so much that you become ignorant or put others down,”

“Is she here because…I’m on the second side?”

“Oh no…” Patton mumbles.

“Nonsense! I see nothing wrong with Y/N being here,” Roman objects, draping an arm around your shoulders. Virgil cringes a bit.

“Technically, Roman is correct,” Logan admits hesitantly. “As long as you don’t listen to her excessively, nothing detrimental will come of her presence,”

“Okay…” Thomas exhales.

“Her getting too close to Roman is what you really need to worry about,” Virgil grumbles.

“Hey! I thought you guys were past this?”

“Maybe not,”

“Well fine, Virgil, we’ll go if you have such a big problem with us,” Roman sneers, taking your hand and sinking down.

Over the next few weeks, you and Roman have become best friends. You’ve written approximately 15 musicals together now, sung every single Disney song multiple times, and have brainstormed millions of ideas on how to help Thomas achieve his dreams in the most extravagant way possible.

“I don’t know how much longer I can take this obnoxious behavior,” Logan closes his book and slams it on the table. You and Roman are very loudly reenacting Hamilton in his room at the moment, and the noise is filling the entire mind palace.

“They’re just having fun, Logan!” Patton shrugs, playing some Go Fish with Virgil.

“Come on, Patton, you know Roman’s just going to corrupt her,” Virgil groans.

“Now, Virgil, I may have had my doubts before but there’s no need to be mean,”

“I’ve had it,” Logan stands up and stomps over to Roman’s door. “CAN I PLEASE HAVE SOME PEACE AND QUIET FOR THIRTY MINUTES?!”

With that, no one so much as breathes loudly for the rest of the day.

It’s probably way past midnight now, but you still can’t sleep. You head to the kitchen to grab a snack, jumping when you see Virgil there as well.

“What are you doing here?” you shriek.

“I could ask you the same thing,”

“I suppose so,” you grin, hoisting yourself up to sit on the counter. “I guess I wouldn’t mind the company,”

“I usually come down here to be alone,”

“Look, I know you hate me, but you could just kindly ask me to leave,”

“I don’t hate you,”

“You don’t?”

“No!” he sighs, rubbing his eyes. “Are you really so self-absorbed that you think if people aren’t all over you they hate you?”

“Excuse me?” you shoot back. “I’m pretty sure you directly said you didn’t want me around!”

“I did not say that. I said you need to be under control, and teaming up with Roman is not going to help that,”

“What’s wrong with Roman?”

“Can’t you see he’s using you? He only likes you because you’re so similar and you can sing princess songs with him!”

“And how is that bad, exactly?” you retaliate. “He’s the only one who’s been nice to me since I got here, so sorry if my choice in friends isn’t to your standards,”

“It’s just-“

“You know what, Virgil? I really thought we would get along. We both have the capacity for good and evil, and we both help to balance Thomas out. We have a lot more in common than you think,” you slide off the counter and walk out.

You and Virgil don’t speak for a while after that. Not that you talked a lot before, but that fight really solidified things. You can’t even make eye contact with each other, it’s like you’re not even there.

Roman keeps asking you what’s wrong, but you just shrug him off. How are you supposed to tell him that he’s part of the problem? That maybe if you weren’t so close, Virgil would consider talking to you?

You never meant any harm when you revealed yourself. You really thought you’d be able to get along with all the sides, but it seems that Roman’s the only one who celebrates who you are. Logan barely tolerates you, and that’s only when you’re not being obnoxious with Roman. Patton’s alright with you, but he gets a little jittery if you suggest anything that compromises his morals. And then there’s Virgil, and you know how that’s going.

You don’t really feel like you have to apologize, it’s not in your nature anyway, but you’re sick of having to avoid him all the time now. You need to talk to him again whether he likes it or not.

You swing open the door to his room without knocking and sit on the bed, “Hi,”

“Is privacy just something you don’t understand?”

“It appears so,” you laugh. “Look Virgil, I know you’re mad at me, and honestly I’m mad at you too, but I don’t want to be anymore,” You take a deep breath, “I like you. I wish we had a better start, but I’m willing to start over,”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes,” you scoot closer to him. “And I told Roman to leave us alone for the rest of the day, so don’t worry about him,”

“You didn’t have to do that,”

“I know I didn’t. But I did. So do you want to hang out or not?”

“I guess so-“ before he can finish, you grab his hand and drag him out of his room to the main area of the mind palace.

“You pick a movie, I’m gonna go steal some of Patton’s cookies,” Virgil watches you, stunned, before flopping on the couch and scrolling through the selection. He starts one as you sit down next to him, handing him some cookies.

“Just want to make sure, you actually want to hang out with me?”

“Yes, Virgil. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have asked,” you drape a blanket over the two of you and settle in.

As the movie goes on, you subconsciously rest your head on his shoulder. He stiffens immediately and you jerk back up.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry-“

“N-no, it’s fine,” he releases his breath. “I’m just…not used to people doing that,”

By the time the movie’s over, you’re fully asleep and Virgil freezes again, unsure what to do. Should he carry you to your room? Leave you here to sleep? Wake you up?

He slowly wraps his arms around your waist and lies down with you, being careful not to make any sudden movements. Despite his efforts, you squirm a bit in your sleep, but thankfully you don’t open your eyes. He fits his chin in the crook of your neck and dozes off himself.

He knows you didn’t have to give him a second chance, but you did. You were right, you weren’t so different after all, and he’ll always be thankful for the opportunity to be something more to you.

#virgil sanders x reader #virgil sanders #sanders sides x reader #sanders sides #thomas sanders

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wonderlandmind4 · 4 years

Text

Delicate Stages of Life: 26

We’re In the End Game Now

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC; Platonic Steve Rogers x OFC

Summary: Life in Wakanda is filled with love, laughs, some tears, all emotions, lazy days, goats, hot springs, a soul connection, and something dark that looms over Bucky’s and Ana’s domestic bliss…

Warnings: Language. Angst. Slight grief. Apologizes

Words: 12,236

A/N: (Do not read unless you’ve read Delicate Stages first) beautiful moodboard by @afewmarvelousthoughts and thank you for all your help and tears and yelling at me. (gif not mine) PS. I snuck a Hamilton lyric in here

One month later finds Ana sitting on the couch, watching while Alex is content to scoot herself around in an army crawl with a toy in her hand, when Carol hops over. She scoops up the little girl, spinning her in the air and making her giggle uncontrollably, before she plops down next to Ana.

Immediately, Ana knows something is up, as the other woman presses the side of her body to hers, and can feel the reluctance radiating off of her. Alex babbles and drools happily in her lap after Carol hands her a teething toy. She glances at Ana with an awkward expression.

“I get the feeling whatever you’re about to say isn’t going to be good.” Ana notes tautly, narrowing her eyes.

“Depends on your definition,” Carol replies. “Helping others is good. Missing me? Not good.”

“Who says I’ll miss you?”

Carol sticks her tongue out. Ana returns the gesture but can’t contain her grin afterwards. She turns her attention to the goat sock halfway off her daughter’s foot, fixing it in place. Carol turns the baby around after that, pulling her up to help her stand on wobbly legs as she bounces.

“So, you’re leaving again.” Ana sighs.

“There’s been more odd and unnatural blips on my radar from other planets,” Carol informs, she keeps a smile on her face for the baby’s sake. “Unfortunately they don’t have the teams like the Avengers to help them. Which is where I come in.”

“Still?”

“Yeah. I got a message from the Skrulls requesting my help. From there, I’ll check out other planets.“ Carol then meets her eyes. “I’ll be gone for a while.”

Slumping down into the cushions, Ana tilts her head to lean against Carol’s shoulder. Alex tips forward, reaching for her mother’s nose, somehow always sensing when she’s off. Scrunching her nose makes her daughter smile, she continues bouncing.

“I understand,” She exhales warily. “I will miss you though. You’re the only one who calms my energy.”

Carol hums. “I don’t foresee another outburst from you, if I’m honest. Sure, I felt a few surges here and there, but ever since Blond Dumbass moved out, you seem to have settled.”

“That’s not because Steve left, it’s because I started going to therapy groups twice a week.” Ana remarks kindly.

“Still a dumbass,” She deadpans.

Ana snorts.

“Natasha has the pager, but I made you one too, in case you need me for anything. We can research more about this connection between you two. It could just be a stronger bond between mother and daughter, considering your powers.”

“I guess,” Ana relents with a shrug. “It’s gotten a little better. When are you leaving?”

“In three days. I’m going to use this time to soak in all the cuddles from this little one. Isn’t that right Sergeant Smiles?”

Carol lifts Alex in the air again, makes funny noises with her mouth, before she lowers her to nuzzle her head against her belly, making high pitched noises. Ana’s lips spread into a wide smile, listening to her daughter’s bubbly laughter that scrunches her whole face.

It’s not long after Carol leaves that Rhodey follows, following a lead on another horrific gang slaughter. Ana catches Natasha in deep thought later that day, her energy thick enough to fill the entire office space.

Leaving Alex in the care of Rocket and Nebula, with some effort to make herself step away, she finally demands Natasha to tell her what’s happening. If those notes Ana saw before have anything to do with Rhodey leaving. If the lead is in fact, Clint Barton gone rogue.

A file is shown, the information inside makes Ana’s knees weak, staggering back into the chair. Clint had lost his entire family after the snap, all evidence pointing to him having turned over a bloodstained murderous leaf.

“I can’t track him,” Natasha informs her, her tone haunted. “We’ve always been two steps behind since I figured out it was him. The horrible thing is, I don’t think I want to find him.”

Flurries of questions fly around Ana’s head, though she pushes them away to get up and gather a clearly upset Nat in her arms. She snaps the file shut, and pushes it off the desk as the first sob breaks past Natasha’s lips.

Five Months Later:

The time came to baby proof the compound as much as possible once Alex began crawling and reaching for anything she could. Especially after she got a hold of the drive spring from Bucky’s rifle that Rocket had been cleaning. Ana nearly skinned him alive for deciding to clean a gun- unloaded but still- in the presence of a baby. Though as Ana tightened the last baby gate, she sat back wishing her baby girl wasn’t growing up so fast.

Slowly, while Alex continues to grow and develop, Ana has begun to heal a small bit of herself. The pain is still immutable, it’s hard to breath some days, and some nights leave Ana waking up in tears. Her daughter though, with her sunshine smile and sparkling blue eyes is one of the only things that helps her get by everyday.

At 11 months old, Alex utters her first word on a rather bad day for Ana. She had woken from the same dream she hadn’t had for a month, and the rest of the day had the connection between her and her daughter just as strong as that first day. When Ana absolutely had to leave her in Natasha’s keen watch, Alex cried.

“Ma, ma, ma, mama!”

She had come running into the room the second she heard it, Natasha smiling brightly at her. Ana gathered her baby in her arms, comforting her and kissing her all over her cheeks. Pride and happiness blooming through her chest had overcome the breaking of the connection.

Just two days later, when the littlest Barnes girl was close to sleep, Bucky’s lullaby soothing her, Alex utters her second word.

“Da.”

Half awake, Ana hums, patting her bottom as she rocks her in the chair. The word settles in her ears, slowly registering in her brain. Her eyes fly open, staring down at Alex, pointing to the projection of Bucky’s beautiful face.

“Did you just-?” Ana trails off in shock.

For the past two months she had been pointing to the screen every time it played, telling her daughter the man on the screen was her dad. She figured Alex wouldn’t actually understand it at her age or even make the connection.

Her curious, blue eyes flicker up at her mother, the tiny little spots of brown more defined within the fibers. The little indent in her chin has turned into a prominent dimple, and whenever she laughs, a wrinkle forms by each eye. Alex is looking more and more like her father, and her developing, charming personality breaks Ana’s heart in every good and bad way. She sees Bucky’s in their daughter’s eyes everyday.

“Y-yeah, baby girl,” Ana chokes with tears in her eyes, pointing as well. “That’s dada.”

Alex moves her focus back to the screen. “Da...da.”

“That’s right, Alex. Oh my sweet little bean.” Ana leans down to kiss her head. “That’s your daddy. The best man I’ve ever known.”

Snuggling deeper in her arms, Alex finally succumbs to sleep, Bucky’s singing calling her to dreams.

***

Coming home from group therapy sessions usually drains Ana, always ready to take Alex and head to bed each time. Her abilities just mean she’s able to feel the weight of emotions and people’s energies in the room. Sometimes it doesn’t affect her, but on the heavy days it leaves a dark cloud hovering over her; a thunderhead of grief and pain soaking her bones.

Ana is sort of thankful that the effects of the super soldier serum while she was pregnant wasn’t permanent. Otherwise she’d be more oversensitive than she already was. The group leader on occasions, would pull her aside offering one on one time instead, in case the atmosphere got too much for her senses.

This time, as she drags her feet through the door, empty cardboard cup of coffee in her hand, she’s determined to find Natasha. She stops in the kitchen for supplies first, then heads off in the direction of giggling and music.

She finds Nat and Alex in the spy’s room, a kid’s movie playing on her TV. It looks like Natasha had just finished dancing with Alex, a delighted grin brightening her little face. When she spots Ana she nearly throws herself out of the woman’s arms in her attempt to greet her mom.

Once safely on the floor, Alex wobbles as she stands, then falls onto her hands and hurriedly crawls over until Ana scoops her up with one arm. She kisses her daughter hello, then holds up the wine bottle she grabbed.

“Rough session?” Natasha guesses, hopping on her bed.

“More of a rough revelation,” She replies, handing the bottle to her.

She hugs Alex to her body before she sets her down in the activity chair, continuing to focus on the bright movie and entertain herself with toys. Crawling into the bed, Ana lays back while the other woman pulls open the cork from the bottle with a knife. Ana glares pointedly as Nat shrugs and puts the knife back in it’s hiding spot under her pillow.

“Intrigue,” Natasha muses, taking a long sip from the bottle.

“Natasha,” Ana begins as she sits up. Nat picks up on her somber tone, straightening up to meet her gaze. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

She frowns, opening her mouth to respond before Ana holds up her hand to stop her. “What I did, shutting off my emotions, how I treated you and Steve. I am truly and deeply sorry.”

“Ana,” Nat sighs. “It’s okay.”

“No, no it’s not. It wasn’t.” Ana admits, spinning her wedding rings around. “You keep telling me that, everyone says it’s understandable why I did what I did, but it doesn’t make it any less wrong. I never once thought about how it might affect the people around me. By doing that, I pushed away the only family I had left. I didn’t talk to Pepper for months. I barely talk to Tony. I ruined my relationship with him. With someone who has done nothing but been there for me at my lowest points.”

“Fuck,” Ana huffs, fighting back the sting in her eyes. “I literally drove Steve to move out, but he was right. I was overly attached because I was afraid that if I stopped for one second, all the pain I was holding off would come crashing back.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I realize now how horrible I’ve been. I treated both of you like absolute shit and you didn’t deserve that. You were all just worried and concerned. I was...I was in so much pain, no matter how much I tried to fight it, but I was selfish.”

Natasha had grabbed her hand halfway through her vent. She gently squeezes her fingers. “What do you mean by selfish?” She wonders.

Ana can’t help the rueful chuckle that emits from her lips. “I’m an Empathetic Healer, Nat. I can heal energy. I could have helped; I should have helped and grieved with you.”

“That wasn’t ever expected of you, Ana. We didn’t want you to exhaust your abilities just to help us instead. You had more to deal with at the time, you were newly pregnant and at a high health risk.”

“But I could have-”

“No, you couldn’t, and we would never have asked that of you.” Natasha argues sternly. “That’s the one thing you don’t have to apologize for or feel guilty about. Got it?”

She nods, sniffing. “I’m sorry for putting everyone through that. I was missing Bucky, my family and forgot I still had my family right in front of me.”

After a long pause and hug from Natasha- the somber stretch broken up by the sounds of Alex playing- Nat pulls back and hooks her finger under her chin to make sure their eyes remain on each other.

“You’re family, Ana, that never changed. Apology accepted. Now, I don’t want to hear anymore sorrys from you, just continue to take care of your health. And that beautiful little girl, who by the way, somehow stole the last of my avocado when I wasn’t looking.”

“Do you know how many times I found the nutella Bucky always tried hiding from me?” Ana replies with a smirk.

“Sharp shooter, fantastic hand to hand, hiding anything from you? Utter failure,” Nat deadpans. Ana cackles, rolling her eyes. “Really though, I’m glad you’ve been going to therapy and finally taking care of your mental health.” Then she mumbles, “Unlike Rogers.”

Ana starts. “Wait...what do you mean?”

Natasha winces, quickly grabbing the wine and chugging. Ana narrows her gaze, but takes the break in their conversation to check on Alex, who had been gazing up at her mother with wide blue eyes. Her bottom lip popping out, her expression wrinkled like she was close to crying. Ana soothes her, flashing a bright smile and cooing until her cute face relaxes.

“What’s wrong with Steve?” Ana questions, picking up her daughter and sitting on the bed again.

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” Natasha answers, tickling Alex’s thighs and making her giggle. “Just that we both know how he handles his own guilt.”

“So he did leave because of me.”

A half shrug. “I think it was more along the line of where he felt like he couldn’t face you, or any of us anymore because of his own guilt. He was struggling long before he moved out. I think it got to be too much for him. He saw how you were improving in some ways and figured it was time to deal with his own failure. Those are his words, not mine.”

Ana scoffs in frustration. “I’ve told him none of it was his fault. He shouldn’t feel guilty or carry this weight for the entire world.”

“It’s Steve Rogers.” Natasha reminds her flatly. She takes the cork that Alex just found out of her hands, giving her a small book to play with instead.

Deciding not to press anymore, Ana trades Alex for the bottle of wine, passing her baby over to Nat.

“Are you even allowed to drink that?” She asks, quirking her eyebrow.

“I have enough bottles of milk set aside. Besides, Alex prefers the baby food more these days.” She answers, then takes a long drag.

“‘S that why your coffee intake has skyrocketed?” She smirks.

“Listen. I went a year without caffeine, leave me alone.”

***

Jamie Alexandra Barnes is eleven and a half months old when Ana visits Steve for the first time. He hasn’t visited in five months, despite him saying he would.

Teething is a horrible feat, has been for months. Ana’s heart breaks every time Alex puffs out her bottom lip, wobbling with fat tears in her eyes. Ana is ready to fight the entire world if it meant her baby was no longer in pain.

This time around, her fourth tooth coming in keeps her up during the night, which makes her cranky and fussy. Ana has tried giving her cold teething rings, massaged her gums, among other things, nothing seems to be working that day.

“Oh, Alex. I know, baby girl, I know, I just don’t know what else to do.” Ana hushes, nearly close to tears herself. She continues to bounce and sway with Alex.

She’s been crying for nearly an hour. Even when Ana plays Bucky’s recorded lullabies she remains inconsolable. Ana’s chest tightens the longer Alex cries, her eyes red and her little cheeks soaked with tears. She’s afraid she’ll dehydrate herself if she continues, or run a fever.

The compound is empty, everyone out for smaller missions or research. No one is there to help calm Alex, or take her for just a moment so Ana can figure out what to do. For the first time since she brought her daughter home from the hospital, she’s truly alone. It’s one of the many things she took for granted, and mentally slaps herself for.

It’s times like these that a deep longing ache for Bucky hits her so hard, Ana finally cries herself. With it comes clarity, and without a second thought, Ana quickly gathers the diaper bag, throws a few onesies in and checks the bag for extra diapers and wipes. She slips her shoes on and coat, and quickly hurries through the house. All the while, Alex continues to cry, hiccuping sobs as she presses her face into Ana’s chest. Stepping out of the elevators to the lower garage, Ana coos her daughter all the way. She straps her in the car seat once she unlocks the car.

“I know, I know, Alex, it’s okay, sweetie.” She shushes, kissing her overheated forehead.

She tries giving her a teething biscuit but she refuses it. Ana hands Alex her favorite stuffed bunny gifted to her by Carol before she left, the little girl clutching to it. She tries a pacifier, but Alex just spits it back out. Ana jogs to the driver seat, finally starting the car and taking off.

Within two minutes of driving, Alex’s cries have slowed down to little shuddering breaths, Ana checking on her every chance she gets. When she stops at a light, she reaches behind her to place the pluggie back in her mouth. This time, Alex accepts it, her wet eyes staring in wonder out the window.

“Car rides calm you, got it.” Ana sighs warily. She turns on soft calming music and continues to drive. Not even ten minutes in, she suddenly has an idea; an impromptu road trip.

Two hours later, Ana finally parks. Alex had fallen asleep by the first hour but when she takes Alex out of the car seat, she starts fussing again. She wraps her little puff jacket around her before Ana pulls her out of the car and into the brisk air. Little fists clutch desperately in Ana’s coat, those whimpers the most heartbreaking sounds Ana has ever heard. She shoulders the diaper back, then climbs the stairs of the stoop to get to her location.

“Please, please be here,” Ana hopes, quickly raping her knuckles on the door. She coos at her sniffling daughter while they wait. The door blessedly opens, relief and shock smacking her all at once.

Steve stands in the doorway looking worn out. His gray henley is ripped in places, black sweat pants hang low on his hips, wrinkled. His hair has grown longer and untamed, some strands reaching his ears, and his beard has grown thicker. It’s the sunken eyes with the dark bags that hit Ana the hardest. Like he hasn’t known sleep for days.

“Ana,” Steve breathes out, obviously taken off guard. He blinks, eyes roaming over her once before shifting to Alex.

“Hi,” Ana balances, abruptly thinking it was a bad idea to show up unannounced. She also looks down at her daughter briefly, who is hiding her face, before looking back.

“W-what are you doing here?”

“I uh...I couldn’t get Alex to calm down. No matter what I tried she wouldn’t stop crying and everyone is gone right now. I mean, she did nap in the car for a bit, but she’s reverse cycling right now on top of teething and I just-“

“Come in, come in. It’s freezing,” Steve quickly ushers them inside.

“I’m sorry for just showing up like this but I didn’t know what else to do. I just put her in the car to see if driving would help and then I decided to come here,” Ana explains, barely taking in his rather cozy apartment. “Luckily she fell asleep halfway through the ride. I just- I have no right to ask, but can you help please?”

The sympathy coloring his expression lasts for a second. “Oh, look at this little honey bee,” Steve coos, bending to her level. “What’s got you so upset, Alex, huh?”

Alex sniffles, her face screwing up, a sign Ana knows all too well. Before she starts to cry again, Steve carefully takes the girl from Ana, cradling the baby in his strong arms. Immediately, her bottom pops out, trembling as she stares up at Steve. He coos at her, patting her back, and slowly, her little lip flattens out.

Ana watches in awe, her daughter lifting her little hands to grab his beard. Steve just smiles sweetly at her, starting to make silly faces as he sways her around his living room. Ana drops the diaper bag on his couch, taking off her coat, shaking her head as Alex’s eyes start drooping already. Either her child exhausted herself out with tears, or Steve has just the right touch. Either way, after three minutes pass, Alex’s eyes flutter before closing, out like a light.

“How did you do that?” Ana deflates in disbelief.

He looks baffled himself as he shrugs, continuing to rock the little girl. “She’s gotten so big,” He notes solemnly.

“Yeah...you’ve been away for a hot minute,” Ana levels him with a stern look. His expression turns remorseful, flashing her an apologetic smile. Ana catches the time on the stove in his kitchen, reading 6:35pm. “Told you she wouldn’t forget you. You can sit with her if you want. Hopefully she won’t wake for a while.”

Steve agrees, carefully sitting down on the armchair. Ana chooses the other couch, tucking her good knee under her as she sits on the seat closest to Steve’s.

“I have a confession,” Ana informs, keeping her voice low so as not to wake her daughter. “I also came here to apologize to you.”

Steve adjusts himself, sitting back in the single armchair to get comfortable with Alex. “I should apologize too.”

“Can I go first?” She requests sheepishly. When Steve relents with a nod, she continues. “I’m sorry, Steve, for everything. I-I don’t regret turning off my emotions when I did, for the sake of Alex. I do regret what it did to you, how I treated you the entire time, and after.

“You were right, I was hiding behind Alex for a while. She was the only thing keeping my pain at bay and it was much easier to focus on her than coping. I never meant to keep you at arms length. I didn’t realize doing that would make you think I didn’t want you around my daughter.” Ana exhales shakily. “She’s Bucky’s daughter too. You’re his best friend and it wasn’t right for me to ostracize you. I was just selfish and in too much pain to see that I did.”

She pauses to press her palm to her chest, emotions beginning to surface. “I talked to Natasha about this. I should have helped you guys. I’m a healer for fucks sake, I could have at least lessened the pain.”

“And what, absorb it all in yourself? None of us would have taken you up on that offer.” Steve responds kindly.

Ana sniffs, but the wave of tears is too much to hold off. “Steve. I never wanted you to move out, and I’m sorry I was the main reason you did. You’re one of my best friends, you’re family. I didn’t mean to lose you too.”

Steve’s throat bobs, then he clears his throat softly, blue eyes pinning her to her seat. “You didn’t lose me.”

A mirthless chortle falls from her lips. “It felt like I did. I, uh. I’ve been going to group therapy. It’s helped a lot, but there are those days when I look in the mirror and despise who I see, who I’ve become. She’s not me, and it’s taken a long time to even try to get an ounce of myself back.”

Ana hastily wipes away the tears falling down her cheeks, on the verge of confessing a thought she hadn’t been able to shake for months. “The worst part is, the part I can’t stop thinking about, is-is how hurt and disappointed Bucky would be in me. He would hate me if he ever saw what I did. I-I’m not the woman he fell in love with anymore.” The last word breaks on a sob.

Steve shifts, like he wants to console her, before he remembers the sleeping baby in his arms. “Ana, that is not true.” He reprimands fiercely. “Do not go down that road.”

She’s crying too hard to respond, pressing her hand over her mouth to quiet her sobs. Her chest constantly aching with the absence of another soul, with the sheer thought of Bucky looking upon her with disgust. The awfulness began invading her mind once that odd orange dream world stopped frequently visiting her sleep.

“Hey, hey, Ana, honey, look at me,” Steve coaxes leaning forward, careful with Alex. He holds out his free hand for Ana to take, squeezing her fingers. “You’ll get yourself back, even if it’s not the exact version you were before. But I know Bucky would never stop loving you, no matter what. He would be so proud of how you protected and raised your daughter. You fell in love with every single part of him down to his soul. He would still love you the same way you love him. In fact, I believe he’s been watching over you both, smiling down at his best girls. Alright?”

Ana wipes away the fresh tears off her face with her other hand. “Y-yeah.”

“I understood your grief, we all did,” He continues gently. “We never thought you would do what you did, but you’re owning up to it now. You’ve apologized for your actions several times. I forgive you. But Ana, if you don’t start forgiving yourself, you’ll never start to move forward. Holding onto your own guilt will crush you.”

A self-deprecating chuckle emits from her mouth. “Is that what you’re doing then?”

Steve exhales heavily, slowly taking his hand away. “You felt that, huh?”

“I felt it the second you opened the door. How have you really been?”

“Let’s try to lay her down in the bed,” He suggests, standing cautiously.

Ana follows him, both keeping silent when he leads them to his room down the short hallway. As carefully as he can, Steve lowers the slumbering girl to the mattress, slipping his arms out from under her. Alex shifts, Ana biting her lip and crossing her fingers that she doesn’t wake. Steve places a hand back on her head until she settles.

Once they’re in the clear, both adults settle on either side of the small child, in case she decides to roll over. Ana lightly strokes her fingers through her daughter’s growing hair, that connection between them, although still present, had faded into a delicate hum over the past months.

“Have you been getting enough sleep?” Ana inquires with a pointed look.

Scratching his untamed beard, Steve answers, “Not for the past few nights. Nightmares fucking suck.”

Ana wholeheartedly agrees. “And...otherwise?”

“I found a support group myself. Been going for a month now. I was asked if I wanted to lead another group.”

“Wow, that’s...is that something you’re up for?”

“Maybe, down the road. How can I help others if I’m still holding shit in myself?”

Ana hums. “Founds familiar.”

“Come with me,” Steve requests, getting off the bed and grabbing a thick plush blanket.

He shifts his pillows around Alex, making a little barrier. Ana does the same, then follows Steve when he opens the window to the fire escape. The burst of frigid air bites at her skin, Ana closing the window to keep the warmth in the room.

There’s a single chair, and a tiny try table with a sketch pad on it. Vaguely Ana thinks the set up is a fire hazard, but then again, Steve has a habit of not using stairs. He turns the chair and offers the seat to Ana, placing the warm blanket over her lap. She has a perfect view of Alex sleeping on the bed inside. Steve settles next to her on the second step.

Abruptly, the energy surrounding Steve morphs, a dismal tinge weighing heavily in the air like the threat of rain. It pulls Ana’s gaze from her daughter to him. Steve wrings his hands together, pressing his fingers between the spaces of his knuckles, his eyes focused on them, long lashes fanning over his cheekbones. The gleam of a wet track reflects off the light emitting from his room, carving a year of grief down his face.

“Steve,” Ana cajoles gently.

A shuddering inhale. “I’ve been wallowing in my own guilt and failure,” Steve confesses thickly. “I have been since it happened. I moved out because I couldn’t handle it, I couldn’t control how I was feeling anymore. I just couldn’t keep up that strong facade of knowing what to do, of pretending to come up with a way to fix everything. And I’m not blaming you, but I was so focused on making sure you weren’t drowning...I sunk myself.”

Steve’s voice wavers, but he doesn’t stop what comes next. His face screws up, pressing his knuckles to his mouth for a moment. “I lost my best friend, my brother. I couldn’t save the world, I couldn’t save Bucky.” A heart wrenching sob distorts his words. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save him for you, for his beautiful daughter. I failed the universe, and I haven’t been able to forgive myself.”

Ana tries to keep her own tears at bay, but Steve’s shoulders shake as he full on sobs and breaks, she can’t help it. She scoots closer, pulling Steve into her arms, his face pressed into her shoulder, her arms wrapped around his back. She doesn’t know how long they stay like that; Steve’s sobs and heartbreak soaking into her shirt, into her bones. Ana just holds him as tight as she can.

Finally, after what feels like hours and temperature dropping with the threat of snow, Steve’s sobs come to an end. Slowly he pulls away, sitting up and wiping his cheeks and nose with his shirt. Ana gives him time to collect himself, cleaning her own face with her sleeve. Her eyes shift to Alex, still napping on the bed, a small victory if she continues to sleep through the night.

A calloused yet tentative hand over her left pulls her attention back to Steve. He briefly touches her wedding rings. Ana searches his face, cheeks flushed from crying. His eyelids swollen, his beard damp and the bags beneath his eyes have darkened. His licks at his dry, cracked lips; Ana making a mental note to make him drink water when they go back in.

When Steve speaks again, his voice is raw with emotions. “I needed to deal with my own pain and healing if I was going to keep my promise to Bucky,” He tells her, pulling his hand back. He meets her gaze. “I know leaving broke it anyway. I apologize for that.”

“It was a little malicious of me to throw that at you,” Ana admits, suppressing a shiver. She pulls the blanket up to her shoulders. “We may have said some things to hurt each other, unintentionally or not. I’m sor-”

“I think there’s been enough apologies to last a lifetime,” Steve chuckles lowly.

“In that case, no more sorrys. We’ll just try to move from this point, little by little.” Her teeth chatter at the end, the cold finally getting to her despite the blanket.

“Agreed. Let’s go inside, you’re freezing.”

“Fuck, that’s the truth,” Ana laughs.

The second Ana sets her foot down on the wood floor, Alex sits up as if she could sense her mother. That bottom lip popping out, those ice blue eyes of hers searching for Ana. Cringing, she rushes over, cooing and hugging her child.

“Did you happen to bring the kimoyo bead?” Steve inquires, shutting the window.

“Never go anywhere without it,” Ana answers, rocking Alex back and forth. She looks at the clock on his side table. “Ugh, she only slept for an hour. This reserve cycling is rough.”

“Maybe she’s hungry. What did you bring? I can make something for her.”

“There’s a bottle, but also cheerios and fruit. There’s rice too, if you want to heat that up a bit.”

Steve quickly exits. Ana bundles up Alex, the sleepy girl sweetly cuddling against her chest as they follow him out.

Later, after Alex had eaten and Steve ordered some pizza, he offers to try to put her asleep once more. He convinced Ana to stay the night, considering the snow beginning to fall and the streets being slick.

“I’m not staying just to kick you out of your room, Steve,” Ana scolds, crossing her arms.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Alex is already sleeping in my bed, it makes sense to be there with her. Unless you want to sleep on the lumpy couch.”

“It’s close to the coffee machine.” She smirks.

“Don’t be a pain in my ass, Barnes,” He teases with narrowed eyes. “Go sleep in the damn bed.”

“Fine,” Ana relents, dropping her arms. “But only if you make coffee in the morning.”

Little fingers drag Ana out of sleep, the fingers tracing over her lips before pulling down her bottom one. Inhaling slowly, coming to terms that she now has to wake up, otherwise her daughter will force her awake by promptly shoving her fingers up her nose. It’s happened three times before. Finally, Ana opens her eyes, rubbing the last traces of blissful sleep away. She makes eye contact with Alex, then gasps and closes her again. Alex giggles, her hand tapping over her mom’s eyelids.

Ana peeks one eye open, and the bright smile Alex greets her with melts her heart. In a quick but safe motion, she hugs her daughter close, roaring softly before attacking her with kisses. Gleeful cackles fill the room, Alex trying to push Ana away weakly. Ana stops, pressing one last kiss to her cheek. Then her daughter leans closer, connecting her forehead with her mother’s. Both girls remain like that for a minute, Ana staring sweetly into her baby girl’s blue eyes, counting the flecks of golden-brown in them.

Once Alex is changed, both of their teeth brushed, Ana exits the room by holding her little hands and helping her walk with clumsy steps down the hallway. Watching Alex attempt to walk pangs at Ana’s heart; her daughter growing up way too fast.

“Whoa, who is this little Coffee Bean strutting in here on a mission!?” Steve greets brightly, bending down to Alex’s level. “Has she tried walking by herself yet?”

“Not quite there, but soon,” Ana says. “I might cry when it does.”

Chuckling, Steve opens his arms for Alex, the little girl abruptly letting go of Ana’s hands to trip into his arms. Ana laughs through the small pang of their shared connection clenching her heart. It’s easier to ignore now. Steve greets Alex with a kiss on her head, standing up with her in his hold.

“Did you girls have a good sleep?” He questions, bopping Alex on her nose. She responds by grabbing his beard.

His oddly light tone makes Ana suspicious. She gives him an unimpressed look. “As if you didn’t stay up all night listening for any sign if we didn’t,” She replies flatly.

His smile is sheepish. “It wasn’t the whole night.”

“Uh-huh. Where’s my coffee, punk?”

“I swear you two were the same person at times,” Steve grumbles, passing Alex back to her. But the teasing glint in his eyes makes Ana smile with the grace of the Cheshire cat at the comparison of Bucky. He rolls his eyes, then messes up her already messy hair. She glares as she fixes her hair.

“She slept better this time, thank god.” Ana sighs, inhaling the aroma of the coffee he handed her. She pauses, narrowing her eyes. “Steven Grant Rogers. Is this decaf?”

He winces, taking a big step backward. “Yes it is.”

“No!” Alex suddenly chirps, then continues to munch on the piece of banana Steve gave her.

Steve blinks. Ana kisses her daughter’s head. “That’s right, Bean. Tell Uncle Stevie that depriving your mama of real coffee is a no-no.”

“You’re more yourself than you think,” Steve tells her, switching his mug with hers. His happy grin earns him one in return.

Steve finishes making breakfast, both adults making small talk while Alex chatters away with her baby language, a mix of “mama” and “no” thrown in. Ana sets a plate of scrambled eggs and the rest of the banana Steve cut up for her daughter. She gets half of it on her cheeks and clothes instead of her mouth.

After breakfast and a change of clothes for Alex, Ana offers to help with Steve’s energy. He allowed them to stay the night, offered his bed to them and cooked breakfast, the least she can do is transmute any of the heavily dark energy he has. When she says this much, Steve casts her a stern glare.

“When’s the last time you actually used your abilities?” Steve inquires. He’s been playing on the floor with Alex and the coasters she pulled off the coffee table.

“I’ll be fine, trust me.” Ana convinces. “I won’t go crazy, just enough to help you sleep better at night.”

“Okay,” He relents, then holds up one finger. “On one condition. Let me take Alex out of the house, and you nap for an extra hour or two before you drive back.”

“Deal!”

Two hours later, Ana rolls over and nearly falls off the bed, forgetting it’s not hers. She laughs at herself, untangling her legs from the comforter, groaning as she stretches. The faint sound of a familiar Disney movie reaches her ears; one she knows captures Alex’s attention for a while.

Using this time, Ana begins to gather anything she took out of the diaper bag and packs it away. She carefully places the kimoyo bead on the side table back in it’s safe place, then checks the room twice over for anything she may have missed. When she makes her way to the living room, Ana stops, mouth dropping.

“Did you buy all this?” Ana gapes, staring at several items scattered around.

Steve looks up from his task of helping Alex place colorful rings on a cone. “Hey, good nap?”

“Very, thank you. What is this stuff?”

“Alex told me, in a very serious manner, that the next time she visits, her uncle should be more prepared for her arrival.”

“Did she now?” Ana questions sarcastically, a smile teasing her lips. “She can be very adamant in her gibberish.”

“Very persuasive,” Steve nods vigorously. “Probably gets that from Nat.”

“Steve,” She laughs, gesturing to the stuff.

Sitting in the far corner next to the couch is a play pen that doubles as a crib. There’s a small stroller still in its box, a few toys, some music with lights, books and puzzles are on the table. Ana spots a little stuffed bear wearing a blue jacket propped up against Alex’s side.

He scratches the back of his neck, shrugging. “I hope it’s not imposing, and I’ll return it if it’s an issue. I just figured, well I was wondering if you two wanted to visit more often, Alex could have her own little play space.

Ana balks. “You want us to visit more often? Are you sure that’s not invading your own time and sp-“

“See the thing is, when you give yourself space, sometimes you miss the people you were spacing yourself from. Two way street though. I’ll come visit, like I said I was going to. Might get an ass kicking from Natasha though.” Steve winces at the thought.

Nodding in agreement to his statement, Ana goes to sit on the couch, brushing her hand over Alex’s head. She gives no mind to Ana, clearly captivated with her new toys. Steve grabs the bear next to the little girl, handing it to Ana. She raises a curious eyebrow.

“I saw it and I’m not sure why. It reminded me of Buck,” He says, avoiding her gaze. “Think it’s the jacket, like the one he wore during the war.”

She brushes her fingers over the jacket, a soft smile on her lips. “It’s cute.”

A slew of emotions roll through her chest, coming to a realization. Ana showed up on Steve’s door step, unannounced five months after he moved out. He has been trying to heal, process the death of his friends, process his own guilt and yet Steve welcomed them into his safe haven. He eagerly helped with Alex, had put her to such a state of comfort she fell asleep almost immediately. Steve had opened up, showed his broken vulnerable side, cried together and had forgiven her. He allowed them to spend the night, and just went out of his way to take Alex around the city, coming back with gifts in hopes for more visits.

Ana has no doubt for what she does next.

“Steve,” She speaks softly. He looks up from Alex, eyes patient, curious. “Will you be Jamie’s godfather?”

Steve freezes. Ana doesn’t think he even breathes for several seconds. She fiddles with the bear in her hands as she waits, straightening out its jacket. A delightful coo from Alex on the floor when she pressed a button on a new toy seems to finally shake Steve back.

“A-are you sure?” He breaths, uncertainty all over his face.

“Absolutely.” She confirms. “I asked Natasha to be her godmother about a month ago. I mean, she could fill both parts but-”

“Yes! Yeah, I would be honored too.”

Ana beams at him, earning back the truest grin she’s seen on Steve in over a year.

Later that afternoon, Ana gets Alex ready to head back north, changing her diaper and pulling on her jacket. Steve holds her while Ana triple checks that she has everything in the diaper bag. She spots three white envelopes, remembering the invitations she made at the beginning of January. She pulls one out.

“Oh, here,” She says, handing it to Steve. “Alex turns one in a few weeks. I would love for you to come.”

His face melts into something fond, kissing the little girl’s forehead. “Jesus. A whole year already.”

“Yeah, we’re not gonna talk about it. My baby is growing way too fast,” Ana chokes up a little, blinking away the sting in her eyes. “So, will you come? Please?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” Steve promises, then he tickles Alex on her thighs. “Huh, little Coffee Bean? You gotta stop growing so fast!”

“Eeb!” She squeals gleefully, tucking her head to his chest.

“Uh, I think that means Steve,” Ana chuckles.

Steve hugs Alex tighter. He brings her out to the car, strapping her into the safety seat, giving her one last kiss, and tucking the new bear he got her next to her bunny. Ana waits until he shuts the door. When he turns, she hugs him, arms squeezed around his torso. Steve returns the hug, and the familiarity of family washes through her; their emotions calmer than they have been.

“Thank you, Steve, for everything.” Ana mumbles into his shirt.

“Don’t even mention it,” He tells her, his arms a vice grip around her shoulders. “Really, I promise to visit when I can.”

They break apart, walking to the drivers side. Steve opens her door, then closes it once Ana is settled and clicks her seat belt on.

“Drive safe, and please, let me know when you get back.” He commands.

“I will. Alex, baby, can wave bye-bye to Uncle Steve?” Ana questions lightly, looking over her shoulder. Alex lifts her hand, scrunching her fingers quickly and smiling.

Steve waves back, laughing. As Ana drives away, she feels much lighter than she had for the past year. Any lingering tension between her and Steve has finally dissipated.

One Year and Six months later . July 2021. Three years after snap:

Ana has to be sneaky, quiet as she peers around the corner, the anticipation of being caught a high risk. She startles at a small noise, quickly presses herself as close to the wall as she can, squeezing her eyes shut, hoping her position won’t be compromised. Abruptly a voice calls out.

“Fond yuuoo!”

The little voice squealing with excitement breaks Ana’s faux spy mode, yelling in delight as well. She scoops up her daughter, spinning Alex around as she giggles uncontrollably.

“Yes you did, Bean!” Ana exclaims, kissing her sweet face. “Good job!”

A round of hide and seek has been going on for the past ten minutes. Alex has immensely enjoyed hiding under blankets and popping out to “scare” her mother. Somehow, she found one of Bucky’s jackets in the open closet, choosing to hide under the leather. The sight of her big blue eyes peering over the collar was so cute, that the pang throbbing in Ana’s heart didn’t last long.

“You’re such a good little spy! Auntie Nat would be so proud!” Ana cheers.

The toddler laughs again, planting a sloppy kiss on her mother’s lips. She makes a loud muah! sound when she pulls back. “Mommy’s ‘urn!”

“My turn? I go find you now?”

“Yes!” Alex squirms as a way to be let down. Ana complies, making sure her little feet are on the ground before she lets go. Halfway through running away, Alex stops and turns to look back at her mom. “I hungree.”

Ana can’t help but chuckle, her daughter just too adorable for her own good. She bends down, opening her arms just as Alex runs into them. “How about I just eat you for lunch instead?”

She pretends to munch on her shoulder, down to her belly. Her daughter’s joyous laughter is a beautiful symphony filling the air. It’s been one of Ana’s favorite sounds in the entire universe for the past two and a half years, right next to Bucky’s lullaby. It’s moments like these when the energy connection Ana shares with Alex feels stronger, despite the intensity of it fading over the years. It still remains, just not as potent, which has made it much easier for them to be away from each other for a few hours or even a weekend.

“Mama!” Alex pats her hair, curling her fist in the strands. “Pway daddy’s song.”

Ana smiles sweetly, emotions always flaring up when she asks about Bucky’s recording. She pushes her chestnut hair away from her eyes, the golden-brown flecks glimmering in the sea of blue. She fondly kisses the little dimple in her chin.

“How about we go get some yummys, then we can listen to daddy’s song. Sound good?”

“Nummy, nummies!” Alex shouts happily. “Auntie Nat too!”

“Yes, we can make breakfast for Auntie Nat too.”

The second the words leave Ana’s mouth, Alex with the graceful skills a two and a half year old should not have, maneuvers herself out of her mother’s arms, and takes off running. Hurriedly, Ana goes after her, her right knee joint popping as she stands. Vaguely she wonders not for the first time, if the serum has affected Alex yet. She has better hearing, and faster running than any other toddler she’s seen.

“Come back here, you little bean!” Ana teases, just seeing her little girl disappear down the hall towards the office. “Nat! Little monster incoming!”

When Ana skids into the office, she has to halt herself. Alex stopped in the middle of the room, staring at something. She turns, lifting her arms to her mom. Picking her up, Ana follows her gaze.

“Steve!” Ana starts in surprise. “Hi. Did we know you were coming today?”

“Impromptu visit,” He shrugs, wiggling his fingers at Alex. Once the little girl realizes who is in the chair, she waves back animatedly. She might not have recognized him without his beard, his face now clean shaven.

“He claims to be checking up on me,” Natasha inputs, her feet on the desk. Her eyes are glassy, the tip of her nose red. She had been crying, and the energy of the emotions settles over Ana.

“I offered to cook,” Steve quips, reaching over to tickle Alex’s foot. She giggles and hides her face in her moms hair.

“Ahh, that explains the tears,” Ana winks, then shoots Natasha a look. The other woman sniffs but flashes a brief smile.

“I threw my egg sandwich at him,” Natasha retorts, her trademark smirk pulling up the corner of her mouth. She fiddles with her hair, now mostly a pretty ombré mix of red and blonde, the length just past her shoulders.

Before Ana can respond, an alert screen pops up in front of Natasha. She opens it with a lazy flick of her hand. A voice echoing through the room stuns them.

“Hi! Is anyone home!? This is Scott Lang! We met a few years ago, at the airport, in Germany!”

All three adults turn their attention to the video screen. Ana feels like her heart ceases, her mouth falling open. She meets Steve’s eyes who quickly meets Natasha's, staring wide eyed at the screen.

“Is this-is this an old message?” Steve stutters breathlessly as he stands.

“Ant-Man!” The video continues, the man chatting away frantically.

“It’s the front gate,” Natasha intones, odd relief coloring her voice.

“What?” Ana whispers, stepping closer. She notes the timestamp at the top of the screen.

Alex pats her cheek, softly saying “Mama?”

“Oh my god. Oh my god!”

“How is this possible?” Steve utters, half in awe, half in disbelief.

“Oh my god, let him in!” Ana demands.

An hour later has Ana with her head in her hands, shaking it back and forth.

When Natasha arrived back with Scott, he began to explain what happened to him in a jumbled chaotic mess of words. Natasha and Steve were able to calm him down, fed him after he nearly lunged for Nat’s leftover sandwich. Ana had to leave to take care of Alex, quickly feeding her lunch and putting her down for a nap. Thankfully their game of hide and seek wore the little girl out, and she was drifting off to dreamland by the first chorus of Bucky’s lullaby.

Now Ana is attempting to soothe herself, keeping her emotions and energy down. Especially after she heard the haunting call of Bucky’s voice in her head again; it’s been four months since she heard it.

“Explain it again,” Ana requests. She rubs her eyes before she looks at Scott.

He nods jerkily, an awkward grimace on his face. “Right. I was in the Quantum Realm. Hope, my...s-she was supposed to pull me out, but Thanos happened and I was stuck in there.”

“For three years?” Natasha frowns sympathetically.

“No, that’s just it. It wasn’t three years for me...it was three hours.” He elaborates. He must notice the skepticism on their faces. “I swear! The rules in there aren’t like they are up here. Time works differently in the Quantum Realm, it’s unpredictable chaos. But what if we could control it and navigate it? What if we can enter it at one point of time, then exit at another point of time? Like- Before Thanos.”

“Like a DeLorean?” Ana questions the same time Steve asks, “Like a time machine?”

“N-no, of course not!” Scott stutters, then blinks. “Well, yes. A-a time machine. It’s crazy...”

Natasha chortles under her breath. “Scott, I get emails from a raccoon, nothing is crazy anymore.”

“You’re talking about possible time travel by entering different points of time through this Quantum Realm.” Ana repeats, musing for the sake of herself. She massages her temples.

This could mean so many things. This could...this could bring back- she swallows the thick lump in her throat, forcing herself not to get any hopes up just yet. She rubs her fingers along her collarbone, chewing the corner of her lip.

“Exactly.” Scott comments. “Is there anyone- who do we talk to about this?”

Both Steve and Natasha stare hard enough for Ana to feel it, lifting her eyes to meet their gazes. All it takes is that split second look for it to click. Falling back against the couch cushions, she exhales heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Fine.” She relents with a grumble, hands thrown up in the air. “But we’re taking Alex.”

Stark Lakeside Cabin: Vermont

Lush green and brown trees blur together like a watercolor painting, the scenic view serene as the nature rushes by. Though staring out the window for the past hour of driving should have settled Ana’s nerves, the sight contrasts with the anxiety rolling in her stomach. She alternates between rubbing the skin of her collarbones raw and twisting her fingers together.

“Mommy?”

The little voice barely breaks through the contemplation of her thoughts, her feelings. If it weren’t for the worry in her daughter’s voice Ana probably wouldn’t have acknowledged her surroundings. A small hand reaches out, gently patting her cheek, a trait Alex has done since she was a baby; especially when Ana’s emotions were surging.

“Sorry, baby girl,” Ana coos, shaking herself out of her stupor. She kisses the tips of her fingers.

“Is sad, mama?” Alex pouts. Her blue eyes round, concerned. Ana swears her daughter has moments of wisdom far too advanced for her age. Maybe it’s their connection causing her to feel for her mother.

Soothing her hair back, Ana says, “No, love. Mama’s just fine.”

“You pway daddy’s song!” The toddler exclaims, throwing her arms up. She suddenly hands Ana her stuffed bear, bunny and her blanket. “Nap, mommy.”

Ana can’t help it, she cracks a wide smile, a tiny chuckle escaping. “Thank you, Bean. You’re the bestest.”

Alex looks proud of herself, leaning as much as she can in her car seat and puckering her lips. Ana tilts the rest of the way, pecking her daughter’s lips, then her nose. When she straightens, she catches Scott gazing at them with a fond expression. However, the flash of blue staring at her from the rear view mirror focuses her attention on Steve.

Once Alex had woken from her nap, the three adults gathered in Ana’s car, insisting the Audi SUV would be roomy enough for the nearly four hour drive. She packed extra clothes, diapers, food and a few toys in the diaper bag before buckling Alex in the car seat. Ana handed the keys over to Steve, opting to sit in the back with Alex and Scott.

Now, Natasha subtly nudges Steve arm resting on the middle console, his eyes snap back to the road.

“Okay, what is it?” Ana miffs. “You’ve been shooting me looks for an hour, Steve.”

He shrugs, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. “You sure you’re feeling alright?”

“Because your energy is making it a little dense in here.” Natasha divulges, tossing a pointed look over her shoulder.

“I thought it was just stuffy in here,” Scott inputs optimistically. “I forgot you had powers.”

Groaning, Ana throws the blanket over her head to hide her face. “Sorry,” She mutters. “I wasn’t aware I was doing anything.”

“Eh, you’re lucky the car is still running,” Nat teases. “It is an electrically run system.”

“Nat,” Steve reprimands lightly. “Get your feet off the dash. Have some manners, Romanoff.” His mirthful tone makes Natasha stick her tongue out at him.

“You’re no fun, Rogers. This is Ana’s car, she makes the rules.”

The blanket suddenly yanks off Ana’s head, Alex giggling next to her right. Ana pokes her belly, then turns her attention back to the front.

“I’ll be fine, I’m just nervous,” She bites her lip briefly before continuing. “I’ve spoken to Tony a few times, but it’s the first time I’ll see him in… almost three years.”

Another quick look from Steve in the mirror. “He does know we’re coming. Right?”

Ana slouches as much as she can with the seat belt, grimacing. “Not exactly.”

Steve groans.

“I told Pepper! May have told her not to tell him, just in case he decides to conveniently not be there when we show up.”

“This sounds like it’ll go swell.” Scott chirps sarcastically.

After three and a half long hours and two pits stop for Alex’s sake, they finally arrive at the Stark household in Vermont. The rustic cabin secluded in the woods, sits fifty years from a lake, the afternoon sun glittering in fractals off the surface. The view is beautiful, serene, does nothing to settle Ana’s nerves. Especially when she sees Tony walking up to his cabin carrying his child in his arms. He falters when he spots them before he continues on, turning back once. Natasha throws him a nod, as if the past three years hadn’t happened.

Tony nods back.

“You guys go ahead,” Ana insists, “We’ll be there in a minute.”

Steve’s concerned gaze lingers until Natasha grabs him by the elbow, leading the way for the two men. Ana takes her time unbuckling Alex, her little hands on her cheeks stop her.

“Is sad, mommy.” Alex whines again, patting her hand on her face.

“No, baby doll, I promise. I’m not sad,” Ana kisses her and puts a big smile on her face. “See! Nothing but smiles for my little bean!”

Bringing Alex in through the front door, she greets Pepper with a long hug. Her cousin says hello to her daughter, then leads Alex by the hand to Morgan, introducing the young girls. It’s also the first time Ana has met Pepper and Tony’s daughter in person, but Morgan recognizes her from all the video chats Ana had with Pepper. The children get along immediately, Morgan, now five, shares her toys with Alex.

When Pepper convinces Ana to join the others outside, like a mature thirty-four year old, Ana whines; nerves spiking again. The older woman nudges her towards the door, promising to keep an eye on the girls. Ana quietly steps out on the deck, coming into the middle of their conversation, taking a seat on of the wicker chairs.

“The stones are in the past, we can go back and get them,” Steve is urging.

“We can snap our own fingers, bring everyone back,” Natasha adds.

“Or screw up worse than he already has.” Tony argues.

“I don’t believe we would.” Steve asserts.

“I gotta say sometimes I miss that giddy optimism,” Tony snips. “However, high hopes won’t help if there’s not a logical, tangible way for me to safely execute said time heist. I believe the most likely outcome will be our collective demise.”

Ana bites her the corner of her thumbnail, tuning out their conversation to concentrate on keeping her energy under control. She had a slight feeling Tony would be against their plan, the hurt, the disappointment, the fact that she got her hopes up for even the smallest amount of stings. None of this will work if they don’t have Tony on their side.

Hearing the desperation in Scott’s voice makes Ana pay attention again, closely watching Tony’s face.

“I know you got a lot on the line,” Scott is saying. “A wife, a daughter. But I lost someone very important to me, a lot of people did, and now now we have a chance to bring her back. To bring everyone back, and now you’re telling me-”

“That’s right, I am.” Tony cuts him off with no remorse. “I wish you came here to ask me something, I really do. I’m honestly happy to see you guys, table is set for seven-”

Steve interrupts him this time, stepping forward. “Tony I’m happy for you, I’m really am, but this is a second chance-”

“I got my second chance right here, Cap. I can’t roll the dice on it.”

Ana drops her face in her hands. She listens to Natasha’s gentle decline to stay for lunch, a short exchange of goodbyes and three sets of footsteps walking off the deck. Blowing out a forceful breath, Ana realizes her and Tony are alone for the first time in years. She lifts her head, met with Tony’s stoic gaze as she stands.

“Whatever you’re going to say,” He begins holding up a hand. “It won’t change my mind.”

“I know,” Ana replies softly.

They stare at each other, the air between them filled with unspoken resentment, hurt, anger. Remorse. Ana flexes her hands then curls her fingers, tampering back her urge to transmute the tension between them. The slightest pinched of Tony’s eyebrows breaks it all.

“I’m sorry.” They admit at the same time.

They laugh awkwardly. Tony dips his head, a silent notion for Ana to go first. Shoving her hands through her hair to give her something to do, she counts her breaths mentally before beginning. It’s been three years. Three long, exhausting, heartbreaking years.

Standing in front of Tony now, someone who had become Ana’s family, who had been witness to her most life-threatening moments of her life, is overwhelming. Someone who has grown to care and love her like his own blood. Who had done everything in his power to protect her, to protect Bucky when it came to it. Who accepted Bucky despite their complicated issues. Ana is tired, she missed Tony and it’s time to mend their broken bridge.

“I should have never thrown the arc reactor at your head,” Ana admits earnestly. “I-I was in so much pain, Tony. I was hurting and scared. I lost Bucky and I...I felt when he d-died. I felt him ripped from my soul, I felt the whole world. Clearly I wasn’t in a good place when you rescued, we both weren’t. I don’t think we meant the things we said. I shouldn’t have iced you out-”

“Stop right there,” Tony cuts her off. He makes a motion like he wants to console her, but refrains. “That’s on me. I’m the one who cut you out.”

Ana scoffs. “You weren’t the one who shut their emotions off for months.”

“No, which- don’t ever do that again. Pep’s stress levels- nearly drank the entire wine cellar.”

“That’s a lot of wine.”

Tony chuckles lowly. “No, I didn’t have the talent to turn off emotions, but I may as well have. Cutting you out, not making any effort to reach out. I had time to heal from at least half of what happened. I got lucky. You...you had lost yet another member of your family.”

A lump forms in Ana’s throat, eyes beginning to water. Tony’s eyes glisten.

“I was...Pep and I...we were there for you during every loss, your parents and brother.” Tony puts his hand on his chest. “I should have been there for you when you lost Bucky, even after. I wasn’t, because of my own stubborn ass pride. I am genuinely sorry about that, Ana.”

Wiping the tears off her cheeks, Ana inclines her head, hugging herself. Tony clears his throat, then closes the distance between them, pulling her in for a long overdue hug. She wraps her arms around his chest, gripping his shirt, allowing herself to feel his energy, his emotions. The sensation of forgiveness merging together from them both.

“I’ve missed you, kid.” Tony chokes, his chin atop her head. “I really did.”

“I missed you too,” Ana sniffs. “You’ve no idea.”

Once they break apart, they take a moment to clean their own faces. Ana blows out a breath, looking over her shoulder at the car, Steve, Natasha and Scott waiting patiently.

“Listen,” Ana begins. “I understand why you don’t want to help. You have a beautiful life, a beautiful family. I wouldn’t want to risk that either. It’s why I didn’t come here to convince you.”

“You didn’t just come to apologize either.” He specifies.

“I did not. I think it’s time you meet my daughter. Officially.”

“I would be honored.” Tony grins, like he wasn’t just crying into her hair.

Ana holds up one finger, quickly going inside. She finds Alex playing with Morgan, Pepper watching from the couch. She shoots Ana a questioning look, to which she shoots her a thumbs up. Pepper fist pumps, muttering “finally.”

She gently cajoles Alex to come with her, promising she can say goodbye to her cousin before they leave. Alex clings to her when they step back outside, Tony leaning against the wooden railing. His face brightens when he sees the little girl.

“Tony, this is Jamie Alexandra,” Ana introduces, bouncing Alex once on her hip.

Tony’s entire expression softens as he bends to Alex’s level offering her a soft friendly grin. “Nice to finally meet you, Alex.” He greets with a chipper tone. “I’m your Uncle Tony.”

Alex shies away just a little, hiding her face then peaking out.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” Ana encourages softly. “He’s just old, he won’t bite.”

Tony shoots her a playful glare, then back to Alex, he pulls a silly face. Alex giggles once, then reaches out her little hand to grab at his goatee. His smile widens. “Can I get a high five?”

Alex shoots her hand out, smacking her palm against his. He proceeds to compliment her yellow velcro shoes, getting her to chat back with him. After two minutes, Alex is launching herself into Tony’s open arms, making her mother’s stomach drop to her feet.

“I hate when she does that,” Ana huffs, hand fluttering over her heart. “She’s got the agility of a gymnast right now.”

He hums in thought, hugging the girl to his chest. “Interesting. Those are some strong genes, strong grip too. She’s the spitting image of Barnes.”

A wave of longing and pride floods through Ana. “Yeah,” She exhales shakily. “At least I have a part of him in her.”

“She’s beautiful, Ana.”

“Thank you. She’s a charmer too, just like her father. Won over Nebula in a heartbeat.”

“She’s a softie at heart once you get past that murderous attitude,” Tony chuckles. He sighs, face crestfallen. “I’m sorry I can’t help.”

Ana shakes her head. “Stop. I understand. Just...hold them close, okay?”

“Will you sing daddy’s song?” Alex pipes up, using those baby blue eyes on him. Ana can almost see his heart melting.

“He doesn’t know daddy’s song, Alex,” Ana explains gently, fixing her askew shirt. “But how about we go say goodbye to your cousin Morgan and Aunt Pepper?”

“Okay,” She pouts, that lip popping out.

“What is that face? I bet I can fix that little pout,” Tony coos. “I have a juice pop just for you!”

Once they’re driving on the road again, Ana closes her eyes, wary from the trip and emotions. Alex is chattering away with Scott, the man animatedly responding back to her. Soft music croons through the radio, and the front of the car has been silent.

“What now?” Ana mumbles, rubbing her dry eyes. “We can’t do this without Tony. We have to do this right. If we don’t...I don’t want to get my hopes up and then just- I don’t think I’ll be able to handle losing him again.”

“I agree, which is why we’re making another pit stop,” Steve informs, voice tight around the edges. “It’s on the way though.”

Frowning, Ana wonders why Steve has decided to make another stop on this road trip, and where they could possibly be going.

“When’s the last time any of us saw Bruce Banner?” Ana whispers as they approach the diner.

Steve hikes Alex further up his hip as he steps up to the door. “Two and a half years ago?”

“Let’s hope he’ll go for- whoa.” Scott starts, then abruptly stops.

Ana and Natasha exchanged confused looks, allowing Steve to enter the diner before them. He halts in his tracks. Alex startles, whimpering and hiding her face in Steve’s shoulder, fearfully clutching his jacket. Ana doesn’t even bother to see what scared her daughter, a spike of fear darkening the energy around her baby girl. Steve calmly turns, allowing Ana to take her from his arms.

“You should wait in the car,” He tells her, mystified expression on his face.

Ana peers around his body. “Oh. Oh my- what the hell?”

Waving happily in their direction, is the giant green hand of the Hulk. Dressed in a preppy cardigan sweater, and wearing black rimmed glasses. The sight is a little unnerving.

“What the fuck?” Natasha breathes.

“We’ll be in the car.” Ana states, awkwardly waving back before she turns to leave.

She ends up finding an ice cream place not too far from the diner. Ana allows Alex to sit in the open trunk as she messily licks chocolate ice cream off her spoon. Ana keeps peering into the Diner, noting the disappointment look on Hulk’s- uh Bruce’s- on his face.

As Ana wipes Alex’s face clean with wipes, the three adults exit the dinner with unreadable expressions. Except for Scott, he just looks utterly baffled. After Steve pulls onto the road again, Ana fishes for information.

“Sooo…” She drags out. “How-?”

“Bruce managed to merge himself and the Hulk together,” Natasha informs. “I don’t even know.”

“It was weird right? That was weird? It was weird.” Scott babbles.

“So he’s basically a hybrid?” Ana clarifies. “And yes, it’s a little weird.”

“A lot. It’s a lot weird- strange,” Scott whispers, eyes wide like he can’t unsee what he saw.

Alex tilts her head curiously, then she offers her bunny to him. Scott breaks his shock, accepting the comfort stuffed animal. He gingerly pats her head and proceeds to make a show of cuddling the bunny to his chest. Pride and adoration bloom in Ana’s chest for her daughter.

“Right, well. What did he say? Did he agree?” Ana questions.

“Took a bit of convincing, but yes,” Steve answers, eyes meeting hers in the rear view mirror.

For the first time in three years, Ana allows herself just the faintest ounce of hope.

It takes three days for Bruce and Scott to figure out- hopefully - the Quantum Realm and traveling through it. Ana had stayed well out of the way, Quantum Physics being too far off her scope of practice. Although Bruce tried to persuade her into attempting to control and feeling out some of the energy raging through the portal. Ana refused; not that she possibly couldn’t do it, but she had Alex to think about and if something went wrong well. She wasn’t going to make an orphan out of her daughter.

Now Alex is taking turns feeding Ana her chicken nuggets as they sit at the dining table. The toddler tries to feed her stuffed animals sitting next to her, and Ana doesn't have the heart to tell her that her BunBun and Beary can’t actually eat it. So when she isn’t looking, Ana quickly eats their portions, just to make Alex smile in satisfaction.

Heavy footsteps echo from the entrance, an irritated Steve sped walking past, shaking his head. There’s a cloud of exasperated energy hanging over him, disappearing down the hallway towards his room. Ana stands, straining her ears to listen to what he might be doing. She doesn’t wait long, for he comes stomping back.

“Uh, Steve?” Ana calls cautiously.

“He turned into a baby,” Steve snaps, throwing his hands up in the air as he exits. “A fucking baby!”

Gaping, Ana just blinks, wondering what exactly happened down in the hanger. Then-

“Fucking!”

Ana gasps hearing her daughter’s little voice repeating the curse. She looks down, Alex oddly seems coy, proud of herself and she resembles Bucky so much, it almost makes Ana laugh.

“No!” Ana scolds, but her lips are twitching.

“Fucking!” Alex chirps, munching on a chicken nugget.

“Jamie Alexander, that is a bad word. We do not say that.”

Alex hunches her shoulders, corners of her mouth pulled down, those sky blue eyes round and innocent. Ana holds out for as long as she can, narrowing her eyes with her arms crossed. Alex scoots the rest of her food over to her mother, the right corner of her mouth ticking up. Ana’s heart clenches; daughter of Bucky Barnes indeed.

“Swrry, mama,” Alex mumbles. "Is mad mommy?"

Finally, she cracks a smile. “No, baby doll.” She kisses her forehead and steals one more nugget.

Five minutes pass, Alex carrying her plate to the sink with Ana’s help, when two sets of footsteps alert her. She hands her daughter another juice box, as Steve enters again. Trailing behind him is Tony.

Inhaling sharply, Ana stares at him. Tony being here means one thing. He shrugs, holding up his fist, a strange watch-like gadget wrapped around his hand.

“Figured it out,” Tony announces like he’s noting the weather. “Let’s not harp on it. I was getting bored up there, composting isn’t as thrilling as it sounds.”

Ana exhales on a half laugh. “We’re doing this then?”

The gleam in Tony’s dark eyes sparks a new hope in Ana’s chest.

“We’re doing this.”

****************************************************************

A/N: This isn't one of the favorite chapters I've written so I apologize if it's lackluster or no one liked it. But, it's important to set up for the next chapters and coming to the end of this story.

Drabbles: Twenty-Five Drabbles: Twenty-Seven

Tags: @thecreatiivecorner @buckyland @stressedasalways @watchoutforfrostbite @justreadingfics @keldachick @eurynome827 @elatedmarvel @shesalatesh @paintedgreywriting @buckaroo-blue @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin @crushedbyhyperbole @jaxthebookworm @gamorazenn @happinessisaloadedgun @je-suis-prest-rachel

#delicate stages of life #delicate stages drabbles #Bucky Barnes x OFC #bucky barnes x ana rios #steve rogers x platonic!ofc #steve rogers x platonic!ana #bucky barnes x original female character #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction

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