#the growth from 'i can't be what you want me to be so im going to be Better than them + tear them down' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

carnivalcarriondiscarded · 8 months

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Please tell me more about your human welcome home au 👀

!! gladly!!

i don't remember what i said in the first - and like... only lmao - post about it so if i restate some things! fuckign oopsie! (a lot of this is just Barnaby &/or Wally asbdjasj im sorry) also this got! so fucking long!

~ (im gonna talk about their middle/highschool years a lot so keep in mind the time frame is late 90s / early 2000s. they graduate high in either 2006/2007. so. yk. obvious warning for homophobia, transphobia, etc)

fun lil thing no.1)

so Barnaby & Wally briefly meet for the first time in the summer before 7th grade. the town Barnaby grows up & goes to school in isn't tiny, but it's not huge either. - i don't have a very good frame of reference for how many students are typically in a school, bc in both my middle/high there was at least nearly 2k of us. - so we'll just say it's smaller than that - a respectable, normal size, however many students that is. but Barnaby's school rarely, if ever, got any new kids.

so Wally randomly appeared on the edge of the Beagle farm one day, staring directly at Barnaby from across the fields. before Barnaby could go say hi, Wally vanished - but! on the first day of 7th grade, they wound up sharing a class. ofc within the day Wally was known as not only the new kid, but a weird kid at that. for the first week he sat next to a kid who had zeroed in on that and was an ass about it. Barnaby - already having an established rep as class clown & also widely well-liked by his peers - would try to stand up for Wally (from across the room) whenever that kid was being a dick to Walls in front of the class

by the end of that first week, seating arrangements were shifted, and Barnaby was seated next to Wally for the first semester instead. ofc the moment Barnaby sat down, he tried to strike up conversation and cracked a killer joke. and Wally, as we all know, doesn't laugh. he doesn't even blink! it rattles Barnaby to his core - not everyone laughs at his jokes, but there's always some kind of reaction!

class begins before Barnaby can be like "hey that. that was a joke. you're supposed to laugh". the whole hour all he can think about is the strange new kid next to him Who Didn't React To Barnaby's Joke. when the bell rings, Barnaby lingers as Wally (very slowly) packs up to go to his next class and walks him there. on the way he explains the joke, and Wally does the whole "oh. ha ha." thing. this all makes Barnaby very late to his next class (he's usually very punctual and never late - he doesn't want to disappoint his mama!) but for once he does not care.

Barnaby has been struck with this soul-deep need to get a genuine reaction out of Wally. he needs to make that guy actually laugh. it's all he can think about. he seeks Wally out for lunch, tries to find him after school (can't), looks for him in the halls. and to be clear! this is all very platonic! well, ok, these two kinda muddle the line BUT they have no romantic interest in each other. Barnaby just... really wants to be the new kid's friend. he wants to make him laugh. it's a friendship crush! platonic yearning! an inescapable desire to please & be accepted! he wants Wally's approval so so badly!

basically, Barnaby says "you're the weirdest person i've ever met (affectionate, intrigued, entranced)" and Wally replies "thank you (proud)"

fun lil thing no.2)

in my mind, Barnaby was a small kid. he was one of those kids who seemed like they were either gonna stay short, or just barely reach average height. he got his main growth spurt when he was like.... 16. it was very sudden. he lived the classic trope of "teen gets way taller over the summer and startles everyone on the first day of school". im talkin he goes from around 5'7 to 6'3. shoots right up like bamboo! and he's still not full height yet! mf is gonna cap out at 6'6!

on the flip side, Howdy was always just. so tall. he was that kid who towered over his peers from the start! ofc he got teased relentlessly for it (along with the transatlantic accent he started talking w/ at a young age and refuses to stop - among other eccentricities), but yk. he already got constant comments from his huge family about it, so he grew a thick skin pretty early on.

Poppy, on the other hand - the last of the three giants - had it worse than both of them! she wasn't outright taller than Howdy, and didn't have a sudden growth spurt like Barnaby, but steadily grew over the years until she was the tallest teen in town. this hit her hard bc not only did it draw unwanted attention to her & make her a target, but it made her dysphoria way worse (Poppy doesn't realize she's trans until highschool, and then doesnt medically transition until her early 20s)

but! once she started getting super tall, Howdy essentially glued himself to her a la "we tall guys gotta stick together!" a classic 'extrovert adopts introvert' thing. Poppy had no say in the matter.

fun lil thing no.3)

everyone's family sucks - except for Barnaby's, Howdy's, and Eddie's. well, mostly Eddie's. in my head they meant well but just... didn't really see the harm they were doing to him. he never spoke up, and they never saw him deeper than surface level.

but Frank's family? horrible. eugh. he was the school's "out gay kid" - not of his own choice! his peers picked up on it because it was very obvious. then the teachers heard, and let his parents know because of course they did, etc etc. Frank's home life was already shitty, and then getting outed (without any real proof or confirmation) made it a hundred times worse. he was a pretty depressed teen (emo Frank lets go) with mild anger issues & a habit for picking fights. but anyway on his eighteenth birthday he packed up his essentials into a backpack, escaped out the back, and never returned.

and Julie's siblings were alright, but their parents and grandparents were all very ~traditional~. it wasn't as rough as Frank's - it was more of a neglectful, passive-aggressive "you're all disappointments' household. ex: Jonesy was known as the local pothead & dealer, and his parents essentially pretend he's not part of the family despite him living in their basement. Bea had a bad (untrue) reputation, Franny was the goth weirdo who people blamed for their problems, etc. and then Julie was always different from "normal girls", and so her parents chalked her up as a mistake as well. but hey! at least the sibs were in it together! and the parents didn't care if Frank stayed over!

Poppy's family was great up until her parents caught her trying on a skirt Sally had made for her. it was a horrible, terrible downhill slide from there. they forced her to join the basketball team, made her keep her door open at all times, etc. for a while she couldn't even see her friends, though eventually they started sneaking in through her window & passing her notes in class. messaging in a 'secret' chatroom yk how it is. Poppy never directly stood up to her parents (very understandable & valid) but she rebelled in small ways. lying about having an after-school thing so that she could be with her friends, convincing her parents to let her go to a study group when in reality she'd be having a girls' night with Sally & Julie & Julie's sisters @ the Beagle farm.

Sally's family was similar to Julie's in that they were more lukewarm towards her than outright abusive. they thought she was too loud, too flamboyant, too expensive, too obvious, pretty much too everything. they wanted her to be normal - Sally wanted to stand on the roof and wax (loud) poetic about damsels. she wasn't outright bullied for being gay like Frank was, but it was certainly a common rumor that she was a lesbian. as a result, most of the girls at school wanted nothing to do with her, and the guys loved to provide commentary on the subject. her parents tried their best to ignore that truth and acted like she was totally straight. sure. still, Sally always refused to compromise on who she was, and treated it all like a mild annoyance. totally didn't hurt her at all. yep. (sarcasm)

there isn't anything known about Wally's family. not even Barnaby knows about them. the group tossed theories around (amongst themselves) over the years - was he an orphan? foster kid? was his family / home life so horrific that he doesn't want anyone to know? all they know is that he became an emancipated minor as young as legally possible and started living in Home, his (admittedly very spacious & high quality) RV. and they didn't even know about that until their junior year except for Frank

on the other side of the coin!

Ms. Beagle was the friend group's favorite adult growing up. the Beagle Farm was a common refuge & hangout spot for them, and Ms. Beagle let all of Barnaby's strange & delightful little friends know that there's always a guest room open for them, should they ever need it. and as a respected member of the community (and provider for the best chicken eggs in town), anyone who tried to speak up against the kids was Immediately shut the fuck down. Ms. Beagle took no shit. if people were talking ill about that "group of depraved teenage fuckups" and Ms. Beagle turned the corner, all conversation would cease until she was well out of earshot. she likes to say that she has 6 kids, all of whom she loves dearly and is very proud of <3

Howdy's family is too damn big to care. not in a neglectful way, just in a "oh, you're friends with... who was it again? Franz? invite him over to dinner someti- STOP PUNCHING YOUR BROTHER-" there's too much chaos, too many things to keep track of to care if Howdy's friends are gay, or trans, or absolutely fucking bizarre. they'll blend right in! Howdy could bring them over for dinner without telling his family and none of them would blink twice! Howdy mentioned that his friends have bad home lives Once and his parents immediately insisted that he bring them over for next week's thanksgiving so that they don't have to deal with that during what should be a holiday. thus began the All Six Of Us + Ms. Beagle + Franny/Bea/Jonesy Attend The Pillar Family Thanksgiving. its incredibly chaotic every time. there's so many fucking people. they're too busy fighting for survival (bread rolls) to bother with manners or awkwardness. every time they leave feeling like they fought a war. none of the friend group has missed a single year.

fun thing no.idontremember!

Wally & Barnaby have had three fights. each are catastrophic and threatened to tear the friend group apart. because those two are closer than anyone - they are each others person. they would both rather chug rat poison than willingly hurt each other. and while Barnaby - a pretty easygoing guy - can get riled up, Wally... really can't. he's never angry. even things that Should make him angry only make him confused or sad. he's too kind, too earnest, a bit of a pushover. he'll just take it with a smile.

so when Wally stands his ground, they all know shit is going tf down. code red, everyone brace. and if he stands his ground against Barnaby? pack a fucking go-bag and ditch town until the storm blows over.

the first time was when Barnaby found out that Wally lives in a damn RV. Wally got weirdly defensive about it, Barnaby was upset that Wally never even told him but somehow Frank knew (he had a bad night & couldn't go home, Julie was unavailable, and Wally found him and took him to the RV for the night) & that Wally is living alone in an RV at all, etc etc - it was a huge fight. & it just kept getting worse. when Barnaby tried to get Wally to move to the farm - that was the first time he's ever heard Wally snap at anyone, let alone him. and since the friend group is fully established at this point, and they're all hopelessly entangled in each others' lives, it affects all of them. sides have to be chosen - there is no neutral party on this. Wally ended up vanishing for a week without a word, and his RV vanished from where it had been parked thus far. the group was in shambles. when Wally turned back up, he actively avoided them all. it took Barnaby tracking down the rv and not leaving until Wally talked to him to have a conversation and fix things. but hey! the disaster actually helped them get even closer!

the second fight was when Barnaby had to go back to the Beagle Farm for their second year of community (Ms. Beagle had a minor accident and needed his help running the farm). Wally wanted to drop out too & go with him, and it turned into a big deal of Barnaby trying to get him to stay while Wally gets unusually pushy & upset about it. the fight wasn't nearly as bad as the RV one, and was more just sad/distressing, but it was still a fight. they parted on less than stellar terms, which they both felt horrible about. Wally has to go through the last year of community alone - he hasn't been alone in many years at this point, and since they met he's never been without Barnaby.

the third fight comes many years later, and this one is the worst. the friend group has all graduated university(those that attended), they're living in the same town, Barnaby & Wally (technically) share a house, Eddie is part of the group now. once again, its over everyone's favorite RV, Home. Home is very old at this point - Wally has had it for around 15 years, and he didn't get it new, and it's been through a lot. Wally is still half living in it, even though it's starting to fall apart. Barnaby brings up the notion that maybe it's time to send the old thing off to a dump, or find a way to put it in storage. they can't keep up the upkeep. it's time to say goodbye to it. Wally flips his fucking lid - or his version of it, anyway. because, uh. no. absolutely fucking not. it's already a very touchy subject, and emotions rise fast. Wally initially shuts down the conversation immediately. over the next week or so, few weeks maybe, tension between Barnaby & Wally simmers. the entire friend group is holding their breath. Barnaby wants the RV gone, as sad as he is about it. Wally won't allow it. of course they reach a breaking point - Barnaby pulls the "i own the property its parked on" card, Wally threatens to leave. of course that scares Barnaby, but that fear mixes with the anger and he fully yells at Wally for the first time. and then Wally shoves him. or tries to - it does nothing physically, but emotionally? it immediately drains all anger from the situation. Wally has never purposefully raised a hand against anyone ever, for any reason. and yet he tried to shove Barnaby. Wally immediately turns tail and runs - he locks himself in the RV, and Barnaby goes to Howdy's.

at Howdy's, Wally calls Barnaby. at first Barnaby jumps at the chance to apologize and try to work something out, but then he recognizes the background noise - Wally is driving Home somewhere. that RV is absolutely not fucking safe to drive anymore. the conversation immediately derails and goes from 0 to 100 within a second. Howdy is off to the side nervously sipping at his beer as Barnaby argues w/ Wally. the phone call abruptly cuts off, Barnaby says "the little bastard hung up on me" and starts Ranting. he says things he doesn't mean, obviously, and Howdy is trying to get him to chill tf out. he's just too angry/scared/hurt/worried yk?

but don't worry Barnaby! Wally didn't hang up on you! yeah so a while later (a little over an hour i think), Barnaby gets a call! it's from the town hospital! yeah so he's Wally's emergency contact, and apparently Wally "hanging up on him" was actually Wally getting into a horrendous accident. it wasn't his fault! there was a drunk driver! but it's... bad. the drunk driver had died in the crash, and since it was night and no one was around, help was a long time coming for Wally. its a miracle that someone found him & called an ambulance in time! so Barnaby realizes that the whole time he was talking shit & being angry, his best friend was slowly dying in a ditch somewhere, alone and in pain. and that's a whole thing!

time for some fun "facts"!

the first time Eddie went over to Frank's place, he immediately fainted when Frank turned the lights on & Eddie saw that he was surrounded by pet tanks filled with Very Large Bugs. then he fainted again when Frank removed the tarantula from its tank to clean said tank.

Wally & Barnaby's cat is named Welcome! she's usually small & pitch black with a permanently bristled tail! she's actually Barnaby's - he found her in a park as a kitten, and her unnerving stare reminded him of Wally so he took her home. Wally would like a dog! Barnaby would not! the cat is their only pet and will remain their only pet, no compromise. Wally retaliated by gluing googly eyes & dog ears onto a rock he found, then painting it. its name is Barnaby. Barnaby has beef w/ it a la Elmo & Rocco when Wally isn't looking

one time, during a group trip to the annual Pillar Family Thanksgiving, the gang stopped at a cabin-themed diner. Sally gasped at stopped Barnaby at the door "We must leave - you can't eat here". when everyone asked why, she pointed at a decorative sign on the wall: Don't Feed The Bears. it instantly became a smash hit inside joke that sometimes backfires (like that one time they go camping and Barnaby acts like he can't open the bear-proof dumpsters & locks & coolers). Howdy once got a "dont feed the bears" sign to put up in the store's diner section as a joke, but as soon as Barnaby saw it he left and refused to come back until Howdy took it down. he'd stand outside the store window and gaze at Howdy from afar w/ the biggest, saddest puppy eyes. it was incredibly effective

speaking of Howdy's store! they all built it together! Howdy managed to get his hands on an abandoned shell of an old building, and they all refurbished/renovated it! they all had the collective skills to get it done. Wally helped draw up blueprints & directed the color-scheme / painting portion, Sally and Barnaby used their carpentry skills, etc.

when Eddie "reconnects" with everyone, he feels like he's going insane. 'cause he keeps running into people who are familiar enough that it bothers him, but he just can't place where they're from (most if not all of them look very different from the last time he saw them in highschool). it drives him nuts! and then he meets Wally and Wally's like "oh! Eddie! it's you!" and Eddie's all "uh... how did you know myna- OH MY GOD IT'S YOU". he has a small crisis because he's over that time in his life, he's in a much better place, he's grown as a person. then he realizes that it's not just Wally but the entire fucking friend group he agonized over wanting to befriend for years and years. the group that (unintentionally) made him feel completely alone and like he was living a lie. and he keeps. running. into them. so Eddie, who just moved to this town, starts looking at mail carrier opportunities elsewhere bc he is Not doing this again - only for Julie to show up and drag him to a friend group function. because they all got together and went "oh, you caught up w/ Eddie too?? so we're in agreement? great! he's ours now! Julie, go get him". and then they accidentally break Eddie's wrist in a zealous game of soccer-baseball-corntoss & from then on won't leave him alone <3

Wally keeps his hair consistently dyed a rich royal blue - even his eyebrows! he continuously touches it up so his roots are never showing! Barnaby keeps his hair dyed blue in solidarity, but to a lesser extent - his roots show, and he doesn't dye his eyebrows or his sideburns/beard

on that vein, Wally has a very extensive hair-care routine he does every morning. he straightens his natural curls out, manipulates his hair into that absurd swirl, and hairsprays it to death. & gels down everything else. shit's Airtight. then at night he has an equally elaborate routine of washing the hairspray/gel out, treating his hair with high quality shampoos/conditioner/oils, and blowdrying it with impeccable technique to keep it Healthy

continuing on that vein - one time Barnaby was makin' breakfast when he heard a crash from upstairs. he sprinted to go see if Wally was alright, but Wally had locked the bathroom door and refused to open up. after Barnaby convinced him to, the door opened to reveal a very miserable Wally still in his towel. his hair was green. "the bottle said dye-safe', he said. the bottle lied. he wore hats for a while.

ok im gonna stop here! this is an absurd amount! i got carried away!

#this au is.... fun #its uh? speculative in a way?#im holding the neighbors in a tightly clenched fist and asking #'how can i keep you all as accurate as possible in this wildly different setting with completely different life experiences'#'how can i apply human life to you all and still keep you in character w/ lives Believable to your character'#its fun. its interesting. in a way its an exploration & dissection of their characters #rambles from the bog #wh modern human au #i.. enjoy it #its interesting to imagine and think about an consider!#how can i keep them the same and how can i Not while staying faithful!#i hope im succeeding!#sorry for the absurdly long post!!!!#this is over 3k words of wordspill!#actually no im not sorry! i hope you enjoy(ed)!

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libelelle · 1 year

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OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER. my opinion on Silver is by no means the single correct one nor do i think it should be, do what you do idc. we're all here throwing him at a wall repeatedly for fun

Ok so. whats the point i wanted to make. oh yeah right

SILVER THE HEDGEHOG!!!! FUCK!!!!

his character is so interesting this is a character for sure. im screaming and crying etc etc. the unfortunate part is NO ONE GETS HIM. i see a lot of interpretations that cherry pick his personality and experiences and it just! isnt it! he is a complicated character!

trying to simplify him down to 🥺innocent soft boi🥺 doesn't work, not only cause you're ignoring his DEBUT GAME (NEVER FORGET HE TRIED KILLING SONIC) but also because you just disconnected him from his entire backstory and motivations. i see people making Silver into a "cinnamon roll" guy and it always makes me grimace because... do you know WHY he is clueless. do you know why he doesn't get things or is too trusting or this or that. its because he grew up in the apocalypse alone. he hasn't experienced anything normal or healthy in his entire life. and since these traits, which are used to make him into the innocent cinnamon roll, are a result of growing up in a very abnormal environment, are symptoms of having never been in social situations and never had a normal day-to-day life. this means you can't ignore the OTHER characteristics that result from it. by this i mean hes very independent, very stubborn and aggressively mean (i recommend watching any of Silvers interactions in the Rivals games. he is extremely confrontational and a very good example of the kind of behaviour i'm talking about). but since this doesn't fit the bill for the character that you want him to be, you remove the context. him being clueless has nothing to do with his background. hes anxious cause hes a smol bean, not because hes been drowning in responsibility and trauma for as long as hes been alive. hes kind because hes innocent, not because he chose to be despite it all

"but linnea! what about IDW! hes very innocent in that!" INCORRECT BUZZER. IDW is not the same. i'll admit, the writing isn't always what i want or expect for Silver, but there's something important for you to note here

Silver is ✨Recovering✨

from my perspective at least. what i see is Silver, who has actively been working together with other people for MONTHS. he has friends, a support net, as well as hobbies. these are things he didn't have before, and being with these people, in both calm and hard times, helped him. So what we are seeing isn't the trauma responses, we're seeing the result of being acclimatized into a healthier and safer position. that's why there's a change in behaviour. this doesn't mean hes a soft boy now. AGAIN hes complicated. be careful not to boil him down to a single trait. in IDW we still see moments where he experiences difficulties because of his past. examples include when he met Whisper, Failed Social Interaction and said this:

he struggles with boundaries! of course he does! he's still getting the hang of being around people

then also recently when he came to help Sonic in 58:

he is struggling!! with nothing to focus on! his default is fight fight save the future fight!! he's not used to normal life and that makes him anxious and frustrated, unable to focus on things he cares about, as we see in the future growth comic in the 2022 annual

there are likely more examples but idc. need to finish this post. continuing, Silver is complicated, meaning that even when he is aggressive and tunnel visioning on a task, he has more going on. one thing i fucking lovee LOVE love about Silver is that he has hope. fuck if i were him i think i'd have given up. THOSE horrors? every day? no thanks

Silver feels anguish and frustration and fear. this being said even at his angstiest moments he has hope. you cannot look me in the eye and tell me that Silver fought through every horrible disaster, coming back to a newly devastated world every time and decided to continue with no hope for a better future. he is determined and he has hope, even if he has to fight tooth and nail for it. Usually when i think about Silver and his odd optimism, i go back to '06, when he's having his moral crisis over killing sonic.

"To kill someone to save the world... is that really the right thing to do?"

it would've been understandable if he decided it was the right thing to do, even if sonic was someone who was kind and loved, because that's just how bad the world is. maybe its just me, but the way this thought broke through in spite of his bull headed focus on destroying the iblis trigger speaks to me about his nature as a person. even coming from the bleak world he came from and even with the tunnel vision he had, he still considered this one persons life to be important too.

he is, at heart, a very gentle and kind person. he is, at heart, someone who is strong and who wants to help others. a version of Silver that is sad all the time, unable to see the good in the world (a phenomena i don't see much of thankfully) isn't true to Silver as a character because its missing that core trait to his character, that he wants to help because he cares.

Silver can't be one or the other. one way ignores his background and his trauma, which leaves out important parts of his personality, the other just abandons a very integral part of who he is.

the point really is to say that (slaps roof of Silver) this bad boy can fit so much layers!

#if i got it wrong you are welcoming to blast me with your psychic waves #if you aren't psychic though you have to be niceys though #AGAIN. im not trying to dictate anyones interpretations of him. the world is a beautiful place and your perspective likely has something #i didnt consider. characters are great in that theyre meant to be interpreted.#anyways 3 am rapidly approaches. time to eep #analysis #silver the hedgehog #long post #talk tag

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chryblossomjjk · 1 year

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bts fic recommendations | 01.25.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

scent of eager suds - @rkivian (knj x reader | smut, angst, pwp, fluff)

summary: you missed each other, too fucking much. but your head had stayed down in futile hopes of remaining stubborn, forgetting that there is a wedding ring on that tricksy little finger of his for a reason.

so..... genuinely convinced you are the reincarnate of shakespeare babe bc like:

"He would spend a considerably scant amount of time on such a task, yet fulfil it so thoroughly that the constant aching between your legs seemed more equitable than you would like it to be."

LOOK WHAT YOU DO WITH WORDS!!! like everything is so precise. i can tell there's so much thought put into every single word of this piece and woah.. the writing is fucking stellar, seriously. like just the words you use throughout this displays how the reader feels about being vulnerable with joonie: cruel, vengeful, venomous. u put pwp but like you characterized the fuck out of this reader and it's so good...

also... this is thee kim namjoon. like as someone who is v much similar to the reader and self sabotages relationships, ppl who love you enough to recognize that trait and do their best to prove u wrong

AND YOU DID THAT ALL THROUGHOUT THE FLITHIEST NASTIEST SEXIEST SMUT EVER PLS HE'S SO HOT LIKE HE TRULY JUST WANTS TO MAKE HER FEEL GOOD INSIDE AND OUT AND IM GATEKEEPING HIM!!!! this was so so so beautiful and thank you for sharing with plebeians like me :') <3

the one where jin is drunk off his face and you get friend-zoned - @indgio (ksj x reader | fluff, crack)

saf everything you write just comforts my soul. it's missing jin hours around these parts and this is exactly want i needed. i don't know how to explain it but this gives me run episode vibes? like... this is legit kim seokjin. I COULD TOTALLY PICTURE HIM DOING SOME SHIT LIKE THIS LMAO WHAT A SWEET BABY!

also love this oc fr. like from the opening paragraph i could already tell she's the most adorable, most precious being, and you proved it throughout the rest :') <3 taking care of ur drunk partner trope will never not get me and you did it so splendidly ugh will definitely be coming back to this when im sad and 3am and missing my seokjin :'( thanks for this ily <3

"tell me more about this girlfriend of yours."

but jin looks at you with a frown, as he downs the water. "no. get your own."

^also for whatever reason this took me tf out lmao

the one where jungkook will always protect you, even from the fictional - @indgio (jjk x reader | fluff, humor)

bby istg your writing is so... refreshing? like i always think i need these super crazy, convoluted, heavy plots for my fics to be good, but your writing is proof that doesn't have to be the case. your writing is so effortless, yet so beautiful. like once again, genuine comfort content that i don't see too much of anymore. going through your masterlist has really inspired me to take a new avenue, because your fics are just so fucking addicting. i just love the slice of life vibes so much uGh okay enough nutting over u and onto the fic sehfbjsehbdhwb

pov ur saf in my brain BC THE AMOUNT OF TIMES IVE DAYDREAMED ABOUT THIS EXACT SCENARIO IS MENTAL ILLNESS (was just picturing binge watching AOT w him :'))

this jungkook is such a golden retriever ass boyfriend my heart can't take it. the banter ?? the protectiveness ?? THE BITING THE EAR ??? naur im in love it's settled. adding him to the list of fav jungkook portrayals on tumby. will be thinking about him when im bored in the back of my lecture tomorrow. thank you for daydream fuel <3

stfu yes it's wednesday get off my back >:'( i posted this early last week and was just trying to even the timing out that's all... im lying. anyways, love u lmao

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bboes · 1 year

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so i got a notification today about an article where the nhl is commited to diversity and holding itself accountable.

that's bullshit. but most people know that. and at the end of the article, it says "We as a league are hyper-focused on what the future and growth of our game looks like while also sustaining and maintaining our current fan base."

and that, to me, is so absurdly funny. because hockey isn't growing. it's losing. it's losing to soccer. it's losing to football. it's losing to baseball. it's losing to basketball. i grew up in the united states. i couldn't name you one hockey player. i could name you serena williams, lebron james, kobe bryant, barry bonds, lionel messi, Aaron judge, etc etc. but not one hockey player. and my team has won the cup twice in my lifetime, less than 30 miles away from me.

hockey is losing. it's a niche sport, especially where I'm from. and this line, it encapsulates why it's losing. "while sustaining and maintaining our current fanbase." this operates off an assumption that growth and diversity act in odds with the current hockey fanbase. i have a bonsai. it's a ginseng ficus. in order for it to grow properly, you have to cut parts of it off. this is exactly what the NHL refuses to do.

i am a new hockey fan. i am several of the "diversity" targets the NHL loves to proclaim it supports, im queer and im a poc. I'm also from a "non-traditional hockey market." and i can tell you, this sport actively makes me feel unwelcome. the attitudes of the players often actively makes me feel unwelcome. the commentary from reporters, from fans, from announcers, makes me feel unwelcome sometimes. and no pride night is gonna change that. it's nice, yes, but it doesn't change it.

and what I'm saying is: you cannot grow when parts of you are rotting. if someone can't handle seeing ethan bear play fucking hockey, then they don't have to watch. if someone can't handle the possibility of luke prokop playing a game, then they don't have to watch. if someone can't handle the thought of a female GM, then they don't have to watch. hockey doesn't want to grow, because that means being better.

you cannot simultaneously promise to grow while trying desperately to hold onto racist, sexist and homophobic fans. and the thing the NHL has either failed to realize, or is scared to realize, is that the future has come and gone. they're getting passed, lapped, even, by leagues that have done more. by sports that are capable of change. change means that some people, yes, will stop watching. but the world isn't just made up of sexist, racist homophobic people.

i go to quite a few AHL games. once, i was seated in front of an African American couple. they had season tickets. one of them, is the first in his family to enjoy hockey. and his wife was wearing so much merch her earrings and hairtie were matching. they are fans. they're fans that deserve more than one night and a special jersey. I've been to a pride night. i got a hat. it was a fun game. and alongside me, there were pride flags and hats and jerseys. there were kids from high schools who were openly queer. there were older queer couples. that's your broader audience. and if you make them feel welcome for more than one fucking night a season, they might come to more games. they might bring their friends, like i have. they might raise kids that watch hockey.

it's funny, that the NHL is so scared of losing shitty fans that they're willing to be the biggest losers of the four major sports.

#js #im mad #nhl #hockey #comm

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biggerfatterbelly · 6 months

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To stay with I just wanna say you have an amazing gut, a proper inspiration. If you don't mind me asking, what was it like for you when you first started to gain weight--were you very thin at all? Is it something you were kinda back and forth about, or did you know for sure from the start you wanted to gain as much weight as you could? Hope I'm not being too invasive, I don't wanna make you uncomfortable, I'm just curious haha

Thank you so much 😍😍😍 I'm glad to hear that!

When I was younger I always had a fantasy of being bigger, and loved fat bodies and was into bellies quite a lot. When I was like 20 I started to toy more with the idea of gaining but didn't commit out of nervousness just yet. Like I would eat a bunch and be like "hell yeah getting fat!!!" But not be consistent enough for any gains and would usually have some regret after. I wasn't fat, but kinda fluctuated between mildly pudgy and thin. (Then again my perception of what constitutes "fat" and "thin" might be kinda skewed at this point lmao) Usually that correlated with college semesters because of the meal plans...

I started eating more once I got a more permissive meal plan due to being on campus more during study groups, gained some weight without trying and realized how much of a turn-on it was to have a belly poking out. I initially wanted to gain like 20-30 and stop, but I kept wanting to move it up...

Once I moved out and got my own place after graduation I was able to really commit to it though, so most progress was from then onward. I started around 200 lbs (at 6'2") and now Im almost at 350 with zero regrets.

I'm Really addicted to the rush that is stuffing myself past my limit and feeling how big I've gotten. Gluttony and growth is just so fun and pleasurable, and it's basically a huge part of my drive at this point that I can never go back haha 😅 I just can't ever see myself happy without it!

#Asks #Sorry this took so long to answer! Was in my drafts partially written for a while because I'm ADHD but wanted to give a proper response

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patricia-taxxon · 9 months

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at this point i might recommend spirit island horizons over the base box as a first spirit island purchase, its wicked cheap especially for a modern board game, it comes with everything u need to play & the guys in there are just really well rounded. the low complexity spirits in the original base box, the ones the rulebook wants you to play first, all come with misleading noob-traps and don't really reveal the dynamic of the game to you. lightning keeps you from understanding the phase structure, vital strength's innate powers make it seem like a cool bonus you get sometimes rather than something you should be hitting every turn, river just craps out on you if you choose the wrong growth options/presence tracks, and my poor ugly son Shadows was just released in an unfinished state.

the dudes in horizons are balanced in a way where you really can't go wrong with building them, and each one actually prompts you to discover key aspects of the game. Eyes is absolutely my favorite dude in there, like the special rule of just making all defense also act as a single dahan gather is such a cool & thematic gentle push towards the game's parry mechanic. Whirlwind is another favorite, like the control strategy is what made me understand spirit island as possessing far more depth than the firefighting co-ops it initially resembled to me, and now players can be introduced to that concept with a dude who's far more adept at control & doesn't come with an offensive back-strategy like river. plus, all of them have easy to hit innates that reveal the rhythm of playing on-element, so you don't have the vital strength problem of going half the game without ever making use of the elements you play.

i still love base spirit island, but it's for the moderate to high complexity fellas. they kinda fumbled on the "tutorial" spirits and im glad they got to try again.

#spirit island #mini essay #patty taxxon art thoughts #cilantromixture

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swollenbabyfat · 3 months

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so maybe this is too out there of a question but you seem to draw a lot so i was wondering.... how? asking from a place where I used to draw a ton but had a burnout from it that i don't think i ever really recovered from, now im barely drawing and i feel like my skills are decaying but i just can't get myself to draw, and when i do i can't make anything i like and i just get frustrated ): i want to draw, i still have that urge in me to draw but i just. can't. do you have any advice? if not you can just ignore this ask.

Hmm....I will try my best to give a few ideas to help! But ultimately, I don't have a lot of interest outside of drawing to be honest (to the point I can argue in the past it's been unhealthy), I think a lot of it has to do with being autistic and it being my special interest, and I've always had a pretty high stamina from it, so I'm kind of bad to be compared to in a way I think ^^;

A few things though

-I have projects I work on, even if loosely, basically at all times. I consider my characters stories projects, and do a lot of work surrounding them outside of art that fuels the art - such as making mood boards, writing and talking about them, making playlist, stuff like that.

-If I feel burnt out in one area of art, i.e. character illustrations, I try to do something different, such as background focused work, or doing something outside of what I would normally do, like collage.

-I'm a really big advocate for studies to get out of burn out, and it's most likely what I will do to get out of one myself. Switching mindsets keeps things from getting monotonous, and can put your brain into a different gear which makes it easier to be creative in what you want it to be. Timed figure drawings can also be fun once you break through the "oh god I'm shit at this" feelings when you first start doing them.

-Drawing for others can be really nice sometimes, whether it be through art trades or drawing shit for your loved ones. I tend to do the latter one the most when I feel burnt out from my own work, and like to talk about their oc's a lot anyways, so it's fun to get to know their characters more through art. I use to also do art parties with my friends and do things like switching canvases every ten minutes, all working on one prompt but doing our own thing, stuff like that. In a similar vein, sometimes asking your friends for prompts can be helpful, think of it as an assignment of sorts if that works for you!

-Figure out WHAT you want to draw before you sit down and draw it. There's a lot of different ways to do this, a lot of time if I feel stuck unable to do work I'll look for visual references and make a mood board, or think about themes I've been wanting to explore and ponder on that for some times, a lot of times pieces will sit in my head for a month or so before I actually tackle them. Sometimes I'll go to my inspiration blog and hit the random button a few times and take the images I get from that and try to build something with it. If you feel stuck on a certain part of a piece, break it down further by doing a study of what's getting you stuck (if it has to do with form, I suggest tracing said thing and then practice drawing it yourself afterwards).

Overall, please don't beat yourself up, artist go through cycles of growth and slumber and sometimes you just have to rest, especially if you have outside factors making it hard for you to focus on drawing. It takes a lot for art skills to degrade and even if it were to be the case there's a lot of beauty in picking back up a skill, and sometimes you can even learn it better the second time.

I hope any of this was helpful, I'm rooting for you!

#ask #burn out #art burn out #faq #long post

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wasyago · 9 months

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I absolutely love ur art and reading ur thoughts abt the riptides! What do you think about chip?

VERY POG. love chip.

i didn't really like him at first, but after learning about his backstory and motifs and after all the changes he went through i like him a lot lot, he's so interesting to me, so alive.

chip has so many interesting themes and ideas and they're so consistent and clear, its just- augh. i think the one that absolutely breaks my heart is his selflessness and the amount of times he sacrificed something for his friends. especially because on the surface he looks like a covard that wouldn't think about risking his own skin over someone else's. but if its people he cares about - he will do everything in his power to keep them safe, and its so heartbreaking broooo.

like, the first time chip met lizzie and she told him about the war. the fact that it was lizzie, his old friend, his old family, asking to go against their mutual opresor, together. and he said no (!!!!!!), he said that he'll rather drop everything he's been fighting and living for, because he didn't want to put jay and gillion in danger, because he didn't want his friends to suffer and go through this, he was ready to leave everything, leave lizzie to her own devices, and just leave and go as far away as possible to protect them. SO. HEARTBREAKING. the fact that chip was acting so angsty around lizzie just because he wanted his friends to be safe.

that same arc actually-- signing the magical contract. talk about self sacrifice??? my guy risked signing his life away forever and ever just so his friends didn't have to. yes he had a plan, but he was fully ready to take the bullet for jay and gill, and he was fully ready to do it alone without even telling them.

edison's kingdom? giving away his finger to make a deal with a big shady guy, again biting the bullet for the whole team.

the entire goddamn price encounter????? he left, alone, didn't say anything to anyone, went into the base of a very dangerous guy, risked his life, almost lost his life. just so price wouldn't send more assassins after his friends. he went and dealt with this whole giant thing by himself.

the entirety of faywild that im not even gonna talk about because what the hell bro.

there's probably a lot more that i can't remember rn

i know that all three of the gang have the theme of self sacrifice going for them, but chip's just hits different for some reason...

and for the character growth. just, to compare chip who was so into this idea of being a pirate, of what he remembered as a kid, to chip who takes responsibility and cares about his crew and makes decisions. damn. gill said that chip is finally becoming his own person and i agree with that. like, both visually and emotionally chip grows and becomes someone unique. he's not a boy from the black rose pirates anymore, he's chip, he's a captain of the riptide pirates, his own life and his own crew. and even if this whole plot with maps and treasure and stuff continues, it doesn't feel like chip is in the shadow of a lost legacy anymore, it doesn't feel like chip is chasing ghosts and is in denial. it feels like that's something that chip wants to do as a person, as himself.

#oookay im very tired im gonna go sleep now probably. brain no work.#and its hard to talk about something without an actual promt #yagotalk

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howyouloveyourdragon · 1 year

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alpha rhaenyra and omega aegon (platonic) headcanons. she along with daemon come back to the keep and find they need to protect aegon and possibly the other kids from otto and alicent if she won't listen. I imagine people like otto would not be okay with any of the boys being omega as it possibly lessens their claim so would be angry. (really fluffy but little angsty). possibly ends up with Jace or someone else if you want to put in romance.

thank you evattude my love for this request! it was very fun to explore :) i strayed a little bit because i wasn't entirely sure which timeline to go with so i hope that that is okay! i added some fluffy jace romance at the end because come on i can't ignore that boy, im sorry if i have not quite integrated a/b/o dynamics as well as you want, it has been awhile since i wrote for that universe so im a bit rusty <3

dividers by: firefly-graphics

all her life, Rhaenyra has been made to feel lesser than for her gender; by Otto, the men at court, possible intendeds, everyone

so when aegon is born she resents him

he will be everything that she was not for her father and she cannot ignore that

but everything changes when she presents for the first time, every feeling is heightened

she can feel the power rushing through her veins, the strength, everything is going to change

she's certain

but then everything falls apart

she needs to satisfy her newfound hunger and her uncle is eager to show her the ways of their world, being an alpha himself

excitement boils her blood even further, desperate, hungry and eager to feed her inner dragon

but he rejects her, abandoning her in a cold brothel for his brother to assume the worst

so she finds another outlet in Ser Criston Cole

and when her father finds out of her urges he has half a mind to disinherit her but she is future Queen

he knows it, he feels it

so he allows this slip so long as she marries Laenor Velaryon, another alpha and heir to the Driftmark throne

she fights and claws while still up to the brim with these changes, still unused to the growth in her muscle and discomfort in her joints

her uncle is her mate and she is being torn from him

but she has no choice

they are fated, she is sure that one day they will joing again

slowly she agrees but begrudging

Rhaenyra is merely glad that can convince Laenor to stay at the castle with her

the years pass and she has born three sons, all promising and with increasing strength

her heir Jacaerys even bares the traits she had upon the brink of her presentation, she could not be more proud until the event in which a pig aids the breakdown of a family

and then the incident with Vhagar occurs and they leave for Dragonstone after a rushed wedding

a mate is something sacred, someone to protect with your life and both the uncle and niece intend to

until she walks in on a scene she wishes she could forget

her brows furrow, ears overhearing Otto Hightower's scold but to whom?

she peeks through the open doorway and her heart sink to curn her stomach

"What would your mother say?" The older man hisses, grasping the pale boy's shoulder

"I-I-I cannot–it's not my fault!" Her brother's words stumble, her sympathy breaches

a lump forms in her throat as familiar words belt in her ears

"This is not what your mother needs right now, you are a disappointment to the throne and a disappointment to me." Aegon holds back his flinch

"I do everything you ask of me," His voice sounds so quiet, so fragile

"And yet you are still not enough." The grown man sneers. "You were supposed to marry your sister, child. Tell me how an omega could be King? Answer me!"

Silence locks them in time. Torturous time.

which is why Rhaenyra clears her throat and lets her presence be known

"Have you no shame?" She bellows, sharp and encompassing the regality of a Queen crowned

Otto doesn't back down, he only quirks a brow and bows shortly

"Princess," He greets, contempt seeping from his tongue

his gaze flickers to his grandson

"A pleasure to see you after all this time." Aegon doesn't look at her, his gaze stays firmly planted on his shoes

her own lilac sights narrow on him

"Aegon," she calls

his head snaps up at the acknowledgement and Otto's lips part in surprise

Aegon slowly turns around and she winces at the red in his face, his eyes are so bloodshot she would assume him drunk again but his pupils are surprisingly trained

"What is wrong, dear boy?" he hesitates even more at the sight of her

she should enjoy that but it makes her skin crawl

"It is nothing of your concern, princess." Otto sneers and although he stands in front of his grandson, it is not a shield of protection, instead it is one of shame

she takes a step closer and then she smell it

a frown settles on her lips and an instinct to keep him protected emerges

"Come," she commands but neither move

Aegon stiffens and flickers his eyes between the two adults

"Aegon, come, I wish to speak with your mother. She will be pleased."

her hand outstretches and beckons him while Otto provides a firm look

he has always obeyed, he has always seeked approval and yet as he stands, on the verge of a whimper he considers the options

Rhaenyra has never cared much for him, he knows this but even if she were a wild boar, he would take his chances with her more than with his grandsire

he skitters over to her quickly so that Otto cannot argue with him and he takes her hand, suddenly feeling small

the journey is long and tense but she does not let go of his hand, rather she envelopes him into her side like she would Lucerys

"She will not be happy..." Aegon grumbles quietly, worry toiling in him

"Whom?" Rhaenyra's brows pinch

"My mother."

Rhaenyra hums at the clarity

"Then it is a good thing we are not seeing her."

shock engulf his pupils which flit up, his eyes widen

"Th-Then where are we–"

"Your father." She murmurs, bitterness tasting her teeth. "He owes a favour to me." She sighs. He stops instantly and shakes his head, trying to pull away from her.

"No. No. No. No." he refuses, sniffles bridling in his nose "No, he does not wish to see me, no."

"Do you wish for a change of environment or not?" That spins his mind. His breath hitches and he frowns

"What?" He asks in a quiet breath.

"Daemon and I have been lonely as of late," She murmurs despite them both knowing the blanket adjacent lie spilling from her mouth

perhaps it is even sweeter than the wine he loves

"You would...You would have me?" He returns in question. she scans over him, his feeble legs and downcast expression

"You are more than he thinks you are." She states and steps closer. "I did not ask for the crown brought to me and yet I have embraced it. Despite this I would not...I would not allow force to garner our actions. And besides, the boys love you, they would love to see their uncle at all hours."

a soft smile twitches at his lips

"They miss you," she assure, her hand resting on his shoulder

"Really?"

she smiles. "Really."

and so the arrangement is slowly built

he cannot always stay in Dragonstone but he may visit for as long as he wishes and vice verse

though he had to ignore the betrayal lingering in his family's eyeys from time to time, how the embarrassment creeps beneath his skin

and yet riding Sunfyre with Jacaerys at his back is the warmest he has ever felt

he never flushes near Helaena and yet when his nephew beams at him, something unknown stirs

it is not lust, it is warmth

Jacaerys is his warmth and finally Aegon understands why Rhaenyra took charge to dispel his engagement to Helaena so strongly

he has never been happier, never felt more complete

and then Jacaerys presents, an alpha too and eager to protect him too

when they are finally visiting King's Landing and he has never been more excited, sure it is to reaffirm Lucerys' claim to Driftmark but it is no less exciting

he cannot hope but pretend they are coming all this way for him despite his true mind

he prepares himself early, dresses, washes and keeps as well behaved as he's able

Alicent is shocked to say the least but it is pleasant

she thinks that perhaps he is finally ready to be king, perhaps responsibility has finally brought him peace

but alas she watches as he runs to embrace his elder sister and she hardens at the warmth between them

he disobeys her for a woman who would strike him dead at the hint of his claim

Aegon tries to take no notice when later that day, Alicent is digging her nails into his arm

he had beckoned the family over but at the pain twitching his features, Rhaenyra had declined, all too aware of Hightower priorities

Rhaenyra becomes distracted by the ferocity in which she defends her son's claim and Aegon can't help but admire her

it wounds Alicent deeper than any cut

because he cannot understand that she is doing the same

that she is protecting him

then the King seats the throne and Rhaenys confirms her support once Rhaena's betrothal to Lucerys is announced

a sly glimmer flashes in his other nephew's eye however which he cannot discern

and then it happens

his eyes widen and his lips part, a gasp erupting from between them

another betrothal

one for him

without his sister's name and in it's place is Jacaerys

and when they connect eyes, he knows

he knows

that also snaps up his family's attention

even his father's who considers it carefully before agreeing

and that turns a regular family dinner into a betrothal dinner

the first in a long which ends with both comfort and hurt

but it stops a war

Aegon does not need power in his veins to feel the warmth of a dragon and seat a throne

both siblings will have their turn to rule, those who call for bitterness will be removed and those who insult Aegon's status will be punished for questioning

RHAENYRA Taglist: (if your name is in italics and bold, that means i couldn't tag you, you will need to check your settings) @evattude

HOTD Taglist: (if your name is in italics and bold, that means i couldn't tag you, you will need to check your settings) @wrendermedone @hopelesswritergall @its-actually-minicika @gettheetoanunneryimmediatly @adelusionalwriter @cookielovesbook-akie

#alpha rhaenyra #omega aegon #platonic rhaenyra #platonic aegon #alpha rhaenyra omega aegon #request #anon #anons #hotd #hotd abo #house of the dragon headcanons #abo hotd #abo asoiaf

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transbuck · 9 months

Text

one year on t!

today is the anniversary of when i started T so i kinda wanted to make a post about what thats been like for me!

under a readmore so if you don't want to read a wall of text about testosterone you don't have to aslkdfjalksd

i'll reblog this post to add pictures of me from the past year

also if you have any questions related to my experience on T, my askbox is open and i do have anon on. :)

so i decided to do the gel instead of the shot because i had needle issues. i don't think i really do anymore though, because for the first year of care, they have you go every three months to get your hemoglobin and t levels checked and they draw blood for that. but i am still sticking with the gel because there's a lower risk of blood clots(APPARENTLY - this was told to me by a nurse PLEASE double check this with your doctor and confirm if thats a concern for you), and since i'm on a hormonal birth control, i want to do everything i can to keep that risk low!

I also started on a half dose bc I was a liiiiittle nervous about it, and went up to the full dose after 6 months.

so. pros and cons of t gel:

pros: no needles (also makes for easier disposal), lower risk of blood clots (again, feel free to fact check me on this)

cons: its daily, i've had issues with acne on my shoulders, can't wear tank tops

overall i think its the best option for me right now, though i might change my mind in the future!

changes so far:

voice - my voice has gotten deeper and is starting to crack. my voice no longer gives me away if someone genders me correctly before i start talking

hair - toe hair, leg hair, arm hair, ass hair. no facial hair. a liiiittle bit of tummy hair

libido/horniness - i had a pretty low sex drive before starting t bc my bc kinda killed any semblance of one i had before aldksfjalkds so im not 100% more horny all the time, it kind of comes in waves. but i am WAY more horny and interested in sex than i was before

bottom growth - this was the thing that concerned me THE MOST before i started. i did NOT want bottom growth, i liked my bits where they were. but honestly its not bad at all. i didn't even notice it was happening. i think its leveled off for now which is good, i'm chill with where its at, but if it does start growing again, we'll see how i feel about it aksdjfklads i've seen some people have INSANE bottom growth. also. if you're thinking about getting on T. bottom growth is one of the FIRST things to happen. so you gotta be chill with it aldskfjalksd

muscle mass/fat distribution - i really haven't noticed too much change in this department yet. i don't really have any fat on me (just a little on my hips and some on my thighs) so that could be why I haven't noticed much change? and i'm not currently going to the gym so idk in terms of muscle mass.

ultimately I'm very happy with where i am in my transition and i can't wait to see what the next year brings! (facial hair maybe? we can only hope)

#trans guy #transition #testosterone #trans man #atlas.txt

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awek-s-archived · 11 months

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i am a bit curious as to why you dislike idle. i don't particularly love them myself but i'm curious as to your reasoning

ok thank u so much for asking first of all because i feel like a lot of people over the years have been curious about this and instead of asking me abt my reasoning regarding anything to do w idle they kind of default to anon hate, so. DKLFGJKLDF

im gonna give background, i followed y/uqi predebut, since that video came out of her as a young trainee moving from china to korea and being a part of a series where trainees go up to strangers in the streets and ask them to listen to them sing to gauge some of the public reaction to them if they debut. she sang in front of this one particular girl who used to be a trainee herself but couldn't live with the pressure and kind of yearned for that dream still, i guess? anyway, she gave y/uqi a lot of advice that i feel really helped ground her and to this day i think she's actually the only or at the very least the most grounded member of idle. and the only one i actually have nothing against and would love to see thrive, because i sincerely think she would and i'll come on to that later.

the tldr version is that i don't agree with the rampant racism and cultural appropriation that they engage in from music videos to general looks to sounds and beats in their actual songs. it's a lot. i know kpop groups in general are very guilty of this and sometimes, not very often, when you tell them it's wrong they apologise and stop doing it. but idle fall under the same category as suju and m/amamoo in that they literally don't care that they're doing it, because they have seen and i believe apologised about it then continued to do the same thing. but my issue with them as a group wasn't ever really directed at specific members until miss s/oyeon's international fuck-up where she said she wants to make 'ethnic hip' music as basically her excuse of why she appropriates cultures.

i paid a lot more attention to their group behaviour after that and there was a time of hiatus where y/uqi and m/innie in particular were very chill and doing their own thing where they were extremely different from how they were when s/oyeon ruled over them. y/uqi went back to being the grounded, friendly, chaotic and generally nice person she was before with no issues or controversies and m/innie did also. i don't really care about the other two so i can't comment on them extensively but these two i paid attention to because i know i liked them from before. but miss s/oyeon?? well, she carried on the group controversies all on her own, lmao. more racism and cultural appropriation but this time she also blatantly plagiarised another producer's songs and released them, lied about asking for permission to recreate the song DOWN TO A T (the song is wave by a/teez btw). basically she admitted to stealing it without using so many words but continued to promote it and didn't give the credit that was due for her plagiarism. i think this was one of 3 (?) plagiarism accusations in the space of a few months. so she's very big on growth as an artist and thinks of herself as a big producer but ultimately all she does is steal the songs from smaller artists and smaller producers and pass it off as her own. obviously as a creative myself, i'm not ok with this and i think she's a poor excuse of an artist to do it. she doesn't deserve the title.

in the last couple of comebacks, she profited off m/arilyn m/onroe's death and image, which is disgusting to me. i don't care what excuse her fans think up to make it ok -- especially when this came out at the same time as 2 documentary series about m/arilyn and she was a huge subject of discussion globally again. so it was evidently a ploy for cash and probably a good stepping stone to s/oyeon trying to make ~empowering music~ for women. sadly all she's doing, if her lyrics are anything to go by, is promoting the exact stereotype of women that everybody else is trying to fight against. she's saying, it's ok for women to love themselves but creepy for them to engage in sex or for men to be physically attracted to them because that makes them perverts (nxde lyrics allude to this VERY heavily).

i also personally don't like the attempted profiting off lgbt fans with 'oh my god', which people made theories about BEFORE she publicly came out as saying that it represents love in all forms, and kept alluding to it AFTER to give fans something to talk about despite officially saying she doesn't want to limit it to homosexuality -- so, how was it a song for the gays then? it wasn't. she was going with the fan theory to get talked about. it's not a bad marketing strategy but it is vile from an actual gay person's point of view, and the fact that she backtracked officially to say it's not ABOUT anything specific while feeding into the ~ally~ delusions privately is disgusting to me, personally. and i'd get if it was taboo to the point of it being career-ending, but there are plenty of other kpop groups who have explicitly stated their videos or songs or dramas, or ANYTHING, are strictly in representation of lgbt love both before and after oh my god -- o/nlyoneof in particular.

more recently of course, the attempted dissing of rookie groups, however light -- those are children. you're a grown woman. if you want to write a disstrack, don't do it about people who are a decade your juniors, OR a decade your seniors. she dissed h/yuna and h/yojong in a song and then sent h/yuna a signed album this comeback. weird to me, even if there are no hard feelings. it's not about the action so much as the attitude with which she keeps doing those things. this is where my newfound m/innie dislike comes in too, because she recently PUBLICLY dissed i/ve for winning an award against idle despite the fact that idle had already won a similar award something like the day before or a few days before. but i think i'll get over it because i genuinely don't believe that that's her actual attitude, i think 100% it's s/oyeon's influence.

and my reasoning for THAT is y/uqi's recent interview, where she said she and s/oyeon don't get along virtually at all, and fight all the time. she (y/uqi) finds it funny and thinks it's a sign of being close and honest, which it can be -- but that's not a healthy relationship, period. if you can't talk to someone without arguing, you don't get along ever.. that's not a friendship. but it does in a sense bring me comfort because i hate the type of person s/oyeon is and the fact that y/uqi argues with her so much tells me that she's the polar opposite. furthermore y/uqi also mentioned wanting to be the leader in situations, and that just tells me everything i need to know re: how much they actually agree with s/oyeon's creative decisions for them as a group and perhaps as individuals too, since she's currently cube's favourite and has significantly more pull than anybody else at that company.

i know you asked about idle full group dislike but it does all come down to s/oyeon in the end, because i think all of this controversy and all this behaviour could've been avoided if somebody knocked her down a peg. but i think everything she does is shallow and performative at best, she's not a hard worker like everybody thinks she is, but she does see herself as a martyr in all aspects and i guess tries to capitalise off it. which ok, that's her business, but i think it's gross and unfair to drag the other girls down with her. nevertheless all her choices (that she's proud of, too, let's not forget) up to now have made the group as controversial as it is now and is why i dislike it so actively as a unit, even aside from the other individual members.

#wow this is mad long im sorry #asks

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ransomdemands · 2 years

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i am in the mood to be touched very intimately and "innocently" i think. i know this is unsafe in practice and should not be tried out or anything, but i have fantasies of someone taking their time rubbing testosterone gel all over my pussy. whispering soft praises into my ear about how well it's working and how deep my voice has gotten. playing with my sensitive cock far more than necessary, fingers hot and relentless over slippery, reddened skin.

shushing me when i protest that it's feeling a little weird, using their free arm to keep my thighs open when i start to struggle against their grip and squirm because of how fucking good it feels, even though this is just an innocent activity. just one friend helping out another.

clapping my hands over my mouth when they ridicule me for cumming all over their fingers, calling me a pervert who can't control himself even though forcing me to lose control was their intention all along.

-🦷

“You want help with the gel? Sure I can do that. Take your pants off and come sit”

I gesture to my lap, and snort at your blushing stammering.

“I need to be able to reach man, get over it and come sit”

As you gingerly sit in my lap, I drag your hips back, pulling you flush against my chest, holding you against me with one arm across your shoulders. I’m certain you can feel my bulge through my jeans, pressing against your ass. Moving your legs easily I hook your knees over mine and spread my legs open, forcing yours wide. I chuckle at your whimper as I admire your pink flushed pussy. I silently note how wet you are, almost dripping.

“Now relax, im going to spread the gel onto your cock now, — ooh yeah im sure it’s cold huh, don’t worry it’ll warm up in a sec.”

I rub the gel into your cock, with one finger, tracing your and down your length with it. I can tell how aroused you are as your cock stiffens under my hand.

“I’m gonna rub it in now ok?”

Using all four fingers I rub the gel down across your pussy. You buck up into my hand and I shush you gently, telling you I need to make sure it’s rubbed in properly. I take my time, admiring your soft wet folds, tracing my fingers all across your beautiful cunt. I can feel my own cock stiffen under my packer as I feel every inch of you. I press my lips to your ear, before speaking again

“Yknow what man, honestly, this gel is working so well for you, your dick is getting so big now and your voice? Fuck even your little whimpers are getting deeper, you’re so masculine…”

I trail off is my cock twitches in my pants, god you really are. And I have you all to my self, spread out so perfectly for me.

I start to rub your cock more insistently, tight hard circles. You whine and ask me what I’m doing, surely I don’t need to keep going. I kiss your temple and tell you I’m just rubbing it into your dick, I need to be vigorous to stimulate growth right?

Your hips start bucking into my hand involuntarily and your whines get louder and louder until I clamp my hand over your mouth.

“Shhh, you’re being so loud, I’m just rubbing in your tgel, there’s no need to make such a fuss. Why are you squirming so much anyway you’re making it hard, I’ll have to rub harder”

I feel you moan into my hand as I rub harder tighter circles into your cock, all the while asking you why you’re being so dramatic over just some gel, and why you can’t just keep still for me. I rub you hard, keeping your legs spread wide for me, your dripping pussy completely exposed. And I feel you scream as I make you cum.

“Umm… dude, did you just cum?, that’s kind of weird, cumming while you’re in my lap like this? I know I was touching your cock but dude, seriously? What kind of pervert comes all over their friend like that It wasn’t gonna be weird and you made it super weird”

My hand on your mouth muffles your protests but I can tell from the flush down to your chest how embarrassed you are.

“You… you might have to make it up to me”

I drag my fingers down across your pussy before pressing two fingers inside.

“I can think of some ways you could do that” I growl into your ear pumping my fingers in and out of your twitching hole.

“I mean if you’re gonna cum like a slut then you might as well keep going right? Cum again and again”

I am fingering you in earnest now setting a rough pace and grinding my hand against your sensitive overstimulated cock. Your eyes roll back as you realize I have no intention of letting you go. Not for a while at least.

#ransomanswers #🦷 anon #asks #I thought about this one a lot #I hope you like it #cause … I did #ransomwrites #from my notes: the t gel is not the same as dht cream and shouldn’t be applied to mucous membranes #always follow your doctors instructions with medication #this is just a fantasy

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jacnaylor · 2 months

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so i finished queer as folk

SO. look did i need to put off the ending for a month? no. did the last season have some weird fucking moments? yes. BUT THIS SHOW.

ok so basically like. s1 has some kind of magic where i HAD to watch it. it's been so long since i fell for a ship and a character the way i have for brian and justin. this show has been really important to me. i mostly identify as bisexual but kind of. just want to use the word queer but i'm still going to use both. which i was leaning toward anyway but this show helped me articulate it.

BRIAN KINNEY. you reminded me there is space for me. i'm queer. it doesn't matter if i never date anyone. i have a community. but it doesn't matter if it's not an outward aspect of my day to day life. it's there. i get to have it. it's mine. it's a part of me no matter what. he was unapologetic. he was himself. he was masculine. he was sexy. he was fucked up. he loved his family. he was so many things in one. he was a queer man on screen who got to be all those things. he wasn't a perfect watered down version of representation. he was so important for the time period but honestly even know in increasingly conservertive times. we got to have this character who said fuck them. fuck the straights. im queer. im going to live however i fucking want. CAN YOU JUST. LIKE HE REMINDED ME I CAN HAVE THAT LIFE TOO. brian kinney i love you. ALSO helped me think about sometimes switching up gender expression. i just can't explain to you how important he's been for me. i will love him forever.

and justin. my baby. i love him. love that everyone calls him sunshine because he's just radiant and beautiful but also you know what? he was a little shit sometimes. and i love that for him. i love that he always believed in his and brian's love and he wasn't ever afraid to say it. even when brian didn't say it back (until he did)

their relationship was honestly like. unconditional love. i'll love you if you leave me. i'll love you if you don't love me back. i love you enough to let you love someone else if that's what makes you happy. i love you enough to leave you. i saved your life over and over and you saved mine. you're the only person i've said i love you to in 20 years. like their growth.

and re: the ending. they definitely end up together. i mean i don't know how they wouldn't. i don't think anyone else would ever measure up. i think they would always just naturally gravitate back to each other and figure out a way to be together. once justin gets famous enough to paint from anywhere. it makes me sad that we didn't get to see it. but i know in my heart they're married somewhere. im sure i have more thoughts but this is just my incoherent initial thoughts.

ps. emmett honeycutt i adore you. ted you're ok. mel and linds, i wish these people knew how to write women better (mel you're a real one), ben, you are an angel on earth. debbie, daphne and jennifer, you're the true mvps of the show. michael, you can fucking choke.

#queer as folk #jess watches queer as folk #liveblogging

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mae-i-scribble · 1 year

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I've recently read through all of fabiniku (my life as an ordinary guy who reincarnated as a girl or something like that for the english title) and it's just been such a fun and genuine time that made me so much more endeared to the series than I thought I was going to be going into this. And for me it touches on a very important part of representation and the argument that queer people will inherently tell queer stories better (spoiler alert i think this mentality is simplistic and unrealistic). Because full disclosure, yeah the author of fabiniku is not someone i assume is the best ally on the planet, and i dont even know if she's queer or not. Her author notes have some pretty :/// stuff in them about trans identity and the idea that being trans is a fetish or childish choice. However, there could also be translational errors messing up what exactly she means, and I can't exactly translate myself, so there is some doubt in that regard. But regardless of the author's opinions, none of that changes the very genuine and heartfelt story she is telling with Tachibana in fabiniku.

(putting the rest under a readmore bc its getting longer than i thought)

There's a reason fabiniku got its reputation as one of the queerest isekai's to ever isekai and that reputation is well deserved bc holy shit yeah these bitches gay and trans as hell. Fabiniku does something with its queer narrative that I personally really appreciate: it sidelines the queer themes. Now this may seem contradictory, but for me, I don't always want queer stories about being queer, I want the queer elements to be a part of the narrative without it being focused on them. And fabiniku absolutely delivers on this. It isn't the story of tachibana finding out he's trans and jinguuji finding out he's gay but also kinda technically bi now- it's a batshit insane isekai romcom about 2 best friends realizing they have feelings for each other. Of course, those queer elements are still very much there, but they're entrenched in the characters, not in the author saying "see this aspect of identity, i want to use these characters as a vehicle to tell a story about it." (Not that there's anything wrong with that, its just a difference in writing goals and how one goes about writing themes/stories)

Fabiniku was never trying to be anything profound or meaningful in terms of queer representation, its mostly a gag manga with some large overarching story beats, but the author's earnestness in portraying the romance and personal growth gives the series a real heart that 1)makes it enjoyable unlike some other comedy based isekai and 2) stops it from being offensive representation. Tachibana is a guy who finds himself becoming a girl one day without and warning, and his slow journey into realizing what exactly he wants in regards to his gender identity is never used as the butt of the joke or mocked. (I'm using he/him for tachibana bc literally as of a couple chapters ago we just got him admitting he may not want to go back to being a guy, he's still on the first steps of his trans journey). In the same vein Jinguuji's love of Tachibana is never truly treated as "only now bc tachibana is a girl, no way did jinguuji love him before nope nope." (yes the initial premise suggests this interpretation, but as the manga grows on it is increasingly clear that both these 2 loved each other before this isekai shenanigans began).

There's a lot more words in my head, but Im gonna wrap it up here. Fabiniku is hardly "perfect" representation, but it is telling a meaningful story with a lot of love put into it regardless. Blaming its mistakes on the author not being trans or gay while ignoring its strengths is useless nitpicking. I saw a post saying it would be a much funnier manga if a trans person wrote it, which is such an illogical point to make that I just had to go ????? at my screen for a minute. There's a lot to talk about with this story, and that's what you took away from it?? And im not saying there aren't criticisms to be made, I still think Jinguuji's arc should have been about him realizing that even if he didn't like women, it didn't change the fact that he was attracted to Tachibana- would have made for a more in character arc for him but again, the author was never intending for anything more than a romantic comedy manga, so I won't hold it against her too much.

Anyways everyone go watch or read fabiniku you won't regret it its so fucking good

#fabiniku #Life with an Ordinary Guy who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout #hinata tachibana #tsukasa jinguuji #i am totally normal about the media i consume i promise #you want to read my rambling about the queer aspects of this show so bad right right #genuinely i think the rep in this is so fucking good #judt because it isnt perfect doesnt mean it doesnt have value #it is also 3am when i write this so things arent exactly coherent

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