#the good place hc

[gardeningfordreamers]

the good place (mostly queer) head cannons (v.2) i get bored half way through... might revise in the future but for now...

eleanor

female / bisexual+poly / she/her / bpd is a chronic nail biter, and keeps love letters from the few ex’s who ever wrote her one. her first girlfriend was when she was at ASU and they got matching lip tattoos. 

chidi

trans man / straight / he/him / autistic  creates those eco bricks after watching a documentary on pollution+waste, is v stealth about his transness. and only got diagnosed as autsitic in the rebooted timeline after simone recommended chidi to get an evaluation.

tahani

afab trans-neutral+unlabeled / bisexual / they/she / autistic  wears sweat pants when all alone but would never admit that, gets really bad seasonal allergies. (can you tell i didnt have any hcs for tahani)

jason

male / bisexual (pansexual) / he/him  watched lost as it came out and was deeply invested in shipping culture, also watched/rewatched all seasons of sytycd when in the real good place, one of the times him (as a child) and his mom were spending time together jason asked to try on his moms jewelry, and then never took off a necklace she gave him.

michael

unlabeled / gay / he/it loves the noise of crunchy leaves, and coffee cake. finds anatomy so interesting and takes multiple community college biology classes. loves keychains.

janet

unlabeled / straight / they/she/it fanny pack lover. believes in bubble gum chapstick supremacy, and has a huge keychain collection in their void. okay side rant i just love janet so much, to be able to see someone who is meant to be the perfect/ideal “object” understand she deserves just as much agency over her own body and labor is just so powerful, just like the very stark difference of her cardboard cut out traditional helper “woman” origins and their future self who takes control over her own expression and identity as a person outside of her traditional role.

shawn

male / gay+poly / he/him SOOO GAY. HE HAS THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON MICHALE, like such a big crush. he wants to deny it but after michale became the good place architect they started getting mexican food on earth afterwards the after life meetings, and they both started getting crushes, lmao. 

judge gen

female / bisexual+aro / she/they i kind of headcannon her as transfemme but also not much, but she is also so much fun, her and jason would be such good friends. she definitely is an owl lady and has like that one specific owl ice pack, like the rubbermaid pink one. 

derek 

male / straight / he/it derek has the biggest golden retriever energy. loves to play card games. and is extremely good at writing haikus for some reason. him and mindy are one of my favorite pairings in the series.

mindy st. claire

female / bisexual (pansexual)+poly / she/her

jeff/the doorman

male (questioning?) / ace+aro / he/they / autistic 

vicky the demon 

unlabeled / lesbian / she/it

simone 

female / bisexual / she/they

john 

male / gay / he/him

brent (after improvement system)

male / (closted) bisexual+poly / he/him 

trevor the demon

male / gay+poly / he/them/it

head cannons pairings

eleanor x tahani (not otp just more a silly reboot ship i wish we saw...)

michale x shawn (x trevor) (im really into trio polycules)

brent x john (after the improvement system)

(most cannon ships)

tagggs.... . .,. .

#tgp #the good place #eleanor shellstrop #chidi anagonye #tahani al jamil #jason mendoza #michael the good place #janet the good place #shawn the good place #judge gen #jeff the doorman #simone garnett #michael x shawn #headcannons #the good place headcannons #the good place hc

[theminecraftbee]

okay now that i'm no longer trying to keep a project secret from certain people i can complain publicly about a thing i've been losing my mind about:

why the fuck is the evo wiki like that.

listen. i know. i know fandom wikis being decent entirely relies on whether there are people who both want to obsessively categorize things enough to fill out the wiki, with the free time to do that kind of obsessive categorization, and the desire to manage it all as a wiki. believe me, i know. but please i'm just trying to do research please, please at least bigb's page was just Entirely Empty so i knew i had useless information and just left. why the fuck did the mafia's page, by contrast, have this:

a sentence that is actively LESS USEFUL THAN IF IT WERE NOT THERE.

and then grian's page - GRIAN'S. GRIAN'S. THE ONE PAGE I THOUGHT MIGHT HAVE A SHOT OF BEING FILLED OUT. JOKE'S ON ME I GUESS.

BECAUSE IT HAS THIS????? I'M LOSING MY MIND. WHY ON EARTH IS THE WIKI LIKE THIS. WHY IS IT THIS BAD. PLEASE I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT EVERYONE'S RELATIONSHIPS WITH JIMMY AND MARTYN WERE PLEASE,

anyway thankfully i had friends who could help me with their own knowledge and who also found the evo recap but in conclusion i have been being driven mad by this for weeks, thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#evo smp #wailing and screaming. why is it THIS BAD #and like i know. i know fandom wikis can be very abandoned. #it's not like the hc wiki is actually all that good either (especially for less-watched hermits) #but this feels like 'bad because abandoned and lots of blank pages' and more ACTIVELY TRYING TO UN-HELP ME #ITS MAKING ME CRAZY #anyway. ANYWAY. i can FINALLY do this rant publicly because this project had to stay secret until today but now it can be public #.......which is to say hi i'm writing an evo thing don't worry about it. #anyway. the only vaguely useful page was the watchers one and even that one didn't have much detail in the places i actually wanted it #this is a call to action for any evo fans who really like wikis i guess? mostly i just wanted to share these two screenshots #because like. look. me having trouble figuring out who salem was because her page is blank is one thing #getting a 'i can't bother' in the ACTUAL TEXT OF THE ARTICLE is another #once again: thank god my beta found the recap.

[grimcatician]

I keep thinking about Riku picking the paopu fruit in KH1 and giving it to Sora and that having been his not-so-subtle way of trying to share it with him…..

This was Rikus 13th reason I think

#kingdom hearts #kh riku #But actually I like to hc that he stays on play island till nighttime #or goes back to be Sad and a little self-hating and jealous and all those good messy af teen emotions #when he feels something calling him to the secret place and BAM—kh1 happens #soriku angst my belovedddddd #I love kh1 riku so much he’s so messy and wonderful UGH #he truly was a teen #grim art #GrimCat art

[navnae]

I’ll never forget when someone said that Steve probably flinches when he hears the word “bullshit” especially when it’s in an argument.

Steve has told Eddie that his only request in there relationship is that when they argue that word shouldn’t be said because it hurts him so deeply and he doesn’t want the person he cares about to ever say that to him. That was an easy request until they actually got into an argument.

It was terrible, they were yelling at each other as if they were strangers and it was over something that could’ve been avoided with simple communication.

“Why aren’t you listening to what I’m trying to say?” Steve tried reasoning with Eddie but his stubbornness wouldn’t allow him to let him do that.

“Because what you’re saying is fucking bullshit-“ Eddie stopped in the middle of his sentence and covered his mouth immediately regretting the words as he said them.

Steve’s entire body froze once he heard the word echo throughout the whole room. In that moment tears formed in his eyes as he got flashbacks of what happened that night in the bathroom, this was it. Eddie was going to tell him that he didn’t love him anymore and he was going to be alone once again. The thoughts that made their way into his head telling him that he didn’t deserve love from anyone he met, he didn’t deserve his friends, his mind always went darker when he thought about things like this and it was so hard for him to get out that head space because he was so used to it. Steve didn’t realize that he was on the floor sobbing into his hands and he couldn’t stop himself. Eddie hated seeing Steve like this, he ran to his side and wrapped his arms around him. Steve cried in Eddie’s arms and he was so sure that he would leave him as soon as he got the chance. That wasn’t even a thought in Eddie’s mind as he kissed the top of Steve’s head repeatedly and he rubbed his hand in circular motions to calm him down.

“This is all m-my fault.” Steve couldn’t even form a sentence without gasping for air while the tears came down his face. Eddie held him tighter and stroked Steve’s hair.

“Shh. No it’s not baby, I shouldn’t have said that and I’m sorry.” Eddie whispered. Steve started to calm down after hearing Eddie’s reassuring words and he pulled Eddie closer to him as if he was going to run away.

“So… you’re not leaving me?” Steve asked before looking at Eddie with his eyes all glossy. Eddie smiled softly at him then kissed him on his cheek.

“Wasn’t even a thought.” Eddie cupped the side of Steve’s face and caressed the side of his cheek with his thumb. The dried up tear marks were still evident but they weren’t as apparent as before.

“You still love me?” That was a question that would still break Steve down no matter who he was talking to, he couldn’t handle the painful answer that he knew he was going to get. Steve didn’t expect Eddie to kiss him on the lips so gently while he held the side of Steve’s face. Steve could feel the tears forming again and the way Eddie treated him made his heart melt into a puddle of happiness. Eddie pulled away with a smile on his face.

“Does that answer your question?” Eddie asked. Steve had a smirk playing on his lips as he pulled Eddie by the collar of his shirt.

“No.” Steve looked mischievous in a split a second which caught Eddie off guard but he instantly followed along.

“Now all of a sudden you want to be a tease? Sometimes I really don’t get you, Harrington.” Eddie joked against Steve’s lips. Steve wrapped his arms around Eddie’s neck to pull him forward.

“You knew what you were signing up for, Munson.” Steve said as he laughed at the look on Eddie’s face.

“Touché.” Eddie said before tackling Steve onto the floor and showering him with kisses.

#steddie #steddie hcs #steddie headcanon #headcanon #hcs #don’t worry they talked after #they are in a good place #they’re so cute #so soft #awee #they deserved so much better #they’re so precious #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #idk what else to tag #help lol #please #come on #manifesting #power #so cuuuute #steddie ficlet #steddie fic #ficlet #steddie fanfiction #steddie fanfic #fanfiction #i’m a mess #hmmmmm

[romeavethinker]

when i think about my headcanons for shadow knights, in my mind it's a lot of fun to emphasize the undead part of them, as well as how torturous the maturation process of a newly birthed shadow knight to a fully-realized one could be. the call is an idea i like to ruminate on as well.

laurance talks early on about how being a shadow knight effects his thinking. he hesitates less, and is more inclined to selfish, spiteful thought patterns. i like to think of this being the ebbing tide of the call carefully drawing in and out of the consciousness in increasingly powerful waves. it grows from tiny whispers in the back of a shadow knight's mind into a violent cacophany that boils beneath the skin with terrifying urgency to be let free the longer the knight rejects it.

as for the physical state of being a shadow knight, this is where the emphasis on the necrotic aspects i was talking about comes in. i take a lot of inspiration for my shadow knight headcanons from the novel "hell followed with us" by andrew joseph white. in that book the main character, benji, has been forcibly infected with a disease (referred to as "seraph", the book covers a lot of christian religious themes) that is slowly, over the course of weeks, turning him into a monster. it's essentially like his body is rotting into becoming something new, and the visceral, monstrous imagery and the way his slow evolution from boy to beast is described is very similar to how i picture becoming a shadow knight feels/looks.

here's some relevant excerpts from my copy of the novel for those who haven't read it. the highlighted lines are the parts most accurate to my headcanons of shadow knights (content warning for descriptions of gore):

i kind of like the idea of shadow knights (like laurance) that didn't complete their transformation ritual and/or reject the call and stay in the overworld being punished by their own body with a slower, more agonizing transformation than if they simply accepted their new undeath and killed who they're supposed to in order to reach their full potential.

however it happens though, it's never pretty. a shadow knight's "true" form (when they activate their powers) reeks of sulfur and death, when they grow in size it sounds just as sickening as it looks, spasming limbs and ripping flesh with the deafening noise of crunching bone and tearing ligaments. smoke and something like ichor both pour from their nose and mouth. if irene is light, life, clear water, and cool, solid quartz and marble and gemstones then a servant of shad would, of course, embody the opposite. i suppose by that description you could also draw a comparison between shad/shadow knights and the desolation/the lightless flame from the magnus archives, if anybody is familiar with that show as well.

anyways im rambling, i just needed to word vomit all these ideas since i wanna talk more about my headcanons on here rather than just character analysis posts lmao

#i normally hate gory headcanons bc it always feels like ppl are just trying to make things edgier but like #shadow knights are literally undead #in that vein little side hc that i couldnt find a place for in this post: shadow knights run super hot but have no heartbeat. #they also dont need to eat— food all tastes like ash in their mouth #sorta like ghouls in tokyo ghoul #augh do i have any ORIGINAL hcs??? whatever #read hfwu tho its genuinely very good if you like visceral horror and the mc is transmasc + the love interest is an autistic guy #aphmau #mcd #minecraft diaries #aphblr #shadow knights #shad the destroyer #laurance zvahl #brainrotting (headcanons) #cw gore

[yeowche]

About Time’s trauma

(Yeah we’re doing this)

So, I like to think that the Hero of Time does not remember the time he spent in the spirit realm. He spent seven years in solitary confinement… the least the goddesses could do was remove that burden from his consciousness.

Except they didn’t, completely.

Because when he sleeps, he doesn’t dream - he returns to that place, that endless, white void. Perhaps it’s a blip in the system, an aspect that the goddesses forgot to take into account. Maybe it’s intentional. He wouldn’t know.

Every day, he wakes up with no recollection of any of it. But whoever’s with him (read: Malon), can see him thrashing and clearly not having a good time while he is asleep. She asks about it, of course – several times, to no avail. Because he genuinely can’t answer her questions.

But he talks in his sleep, and Malon is able to piece together the little bits of information she gets.

Anyway there’s that and then there’s tHe mOoN

#imagine the spirit realm being like Janet’s Void from The Good Place #if you were wondering what stuff he says in his sleep #(because you love angst like I do) #‘let me out’ #‘I don’t wanna be here anymore’ #‘please let me go’ #loz #zelda #the legend of zelda #ocarina of time #majoras mask #hero of time #loz headcanon #zelda headcanon #loz hc #loz oot #malink #oot link #oot malon

[mahiiimahiiii]

Ok hear me out: once the crew gets to bauldurs gate they have mini funerals ala good place.

(part 1)

I'll give you a taster (+ my beautiful redeemed bhaalspawn):

Gale:

Gales "funeral" would be at a library. He would pile books together as a makeshift coffin and wear a bright pink night robe with fuzzy slippers and curlers in his hair, as well as a dusty pink eye mask. Everyone would be wearing some sort of robe, his flowers of choice for the event would be lilly of the valley.

"gale died doing what he loved, learning."

"some might say this would be the ultimate fate for gale"

He would interject, eating the cucumber on his eye, "I do not think the best outcome for me would be turning into an ilithid. But I must admit- it is fitting."

Later events would be a wine tasting and going shopping for new books.

Shadowheart:

I feel like hers would be a moonlight bonfire, lots of ring dancing and setting her old sharran armor on fire.

"I think-" karlach would start up "a lot of us would be dead if we didn't have our cleric. So shadowheart has earned her props.. not only is she reliable- she is resilient, she is strong."

"despite our quarrels, I am glad to fight with you. I have watched you bloom into a magnificent warrior, for what force? We will see soon enough. May your death be glorious." La'zel quipped.

Her flowers of choice would be night orchids. she would then insist on learning how to swim and manage a doggie paddle.

Karlach:

I feel like hers would be on the beach with a fruity drink in hand as she floats around in the water. The fish around her have probably boiled, which is more incentive for a fish fry.

Everyone gets like a back breaking hug. Lots of physical activities party games wise, be drunk and merry. Most likely people get a bit sunburnt and burnt burnt.

There is no speeches as Karlach is too busy expressing her gratitude about everyone else.

She gets withers to do limbo with her

Her choice of flower is sunflowers.

La'zel:

She would like to opt out of this. a simple "thank you la'zel, may you die horribly in battle. May your wounds bleed out and may you suffer immensely" will suffice.

(her choice of flower is snap dragons)

Jaheria:

Hers would be a touristy walk of bauldurs gate.

She talks about her life, a sense of oral history to pass onto others. The night ends with root veggies chips and cheese, and a generous donation to animal sanctuaries within the cities from the Harpers.

Her idea of fun is bastardizing the ballads that volo wrote via mad libs. Which immature humor ensues.

The mighty _____ o' noble _____ (noun *x2)

Found ___ and sent them back to ____ and ____ (noun, adj*x2)

She would rest in a fainting couch in a puddle of sun in the wildshape form of a big cat, tail swishing idily as people read off their bastardized poems.

Her choice of flowers are jasmine blooms.

Wyll:

His would be a picnic in the park, as people read their speeches to him in comfortable sun dresses and loose cotton clothing, he would hold a little bouquet of daisies resting on a soft gingham sheet with a crown of flowers.

He would insist of going to his favorite pastry shops in the city. Sweet wine, tarts and small cakes. A day of sweets to remember the sweetest person in the camp.

His whole funeral was about allowing everyone to experience the childhood he knew, which wasn't much, but was something he knew they needed.

The look of pure joy in everyone's faces was enough to sustain him for the rest of his days.

The goals were, teach karlach hopscotch, double dutch with Wynne, climb a tree with astarion, and show la'zel some human dances. The older people in the group were less inclined to indulge, taking the roll of the gossiping parents to the 20 something aged other members in the band.

The night ended with dances and fiddle music.

His choice of flowers are thistle blooms

#la'zel #bg3 gale #bg3 wyll #bg3 #bg shadowheart #bg3 jaheira #bg3 karlach #bg3 lae'zel #gale dekarios #wyll ravengard #bg3 shart #bg3 shadowheart #shadowheart #jaheira #karlach #headcannons #bg3 hcs #hcs #good place #the good place #fic #bg3 fic #baulders gate 3

[ineffectualdemon]

I object to alloromantic people only headcanoning the bitchiest character as Aro

But it's okay when I do it because I am the bitchy Aro

#jiang cheng #aromantic #aro headcanon #aro #fandom #saying that i do have some non bitchy arospec hcs #phichit chulanont from yuri on ice for one #yuri himself from yuri on ice i see as demi #michael from the good place #hes not the bitchest character #tahani al jamil actually #once shes on her own in the good place shes really happy single and I love that for her #again shes not the bitchest character #but yeah most of my headcanons are for the bitchy rude characters because im projecting

[chaldeanu]

honkai star rail please give us finally official birthday dates (;´ - `;) i can’t stand all these sweet ideas people have as just headcanons

#that hc about kakava festival for aventurine’s birthday… adorable #or ratio’s birthday being the pi number if we put month first #scraping the walls because why did they think it’s a good idea to NOT include it in the first place #day 373 of asking for birthday dates for characters pls #talking ノ

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID in alt text] my magnum opus

#the owl house #toh #hunter toh #lilith clawthorne #i have hcs about their dynamic but they're mostly comedic tbh #like yeah it's fucked up that Lilith had beef with a child but it's also pathetic and i think that takes the edge off it tbh #hunter kinda knows this. he doesn't like her and i appreciate it when ppl read it as ''hes walking on eggshells around her'' #based on that one dana art #i think it's a fair read #but i personally like to read it as equal parts nervousness and annoyance at having to be placed with Mean Un-Fun Lilith #hunter thinks she's a loser and has no idea why she hates him so much. he's just trying to do his job man #(my personal elaborate hc as to how this dynamic formed is that hunter as a child used to think Lilith was cool! he wanted to be like her!) #(unfortunately his braggadocios persona as the golden guard gave Lilith the impression that he was Out For Her Job and also Life) #(and bc she's Lilith these threats from a child are taken seriously. she will play nice when Belos is around but she DOES NOT TRUST HIM) #(and she's just not going to interrogate her own insecurities regarding yet another bubbly teen prodigy coming in and stealing her thunder) #(she is definitely not getting reminded of her own insecurities related to eda being better than her growing up. no sir) #(she totally doesn't see the emperor as her mom whaaat that's crazy) #(ANYWAY post canon i think they could be good friends. bitchy friends but good friends) #(someone the other comes to when they need a brutally honest opinion! steve hangs out with them too. ex emperor's coven buddies!)

[clumsycapitolunicorn]

I love all those fics/posts about gabriel and beelzebub spending 5 minutes on alpha centauri before going back to earth to their pub and finding a house there, experiencing all the human stuff, because they love it there and don't really give a f*** about what heaven and hell want them to do.

#good omens #ineffable bureaucracy #listen can they give them 5 minutes of screen time in s3 and can it be the hc of crowley crashing at their place being the mopiest 3rd whee

[thediistortiion]

im gonna say it

i hc sex repulsed ace georgie

jon and georgie were ace4ace i just know it in my heart and soul to be true. however i do think they were avid handholders and very cuddly

more bc of georgie than jon. i think she was probably the big cuddler.

i can imagine her being stuck on melanie like glue 💕 melanie loves it bc she always knows when georgie is around and laying on her. free weighted blanket :]

#tma #the magnus archives hcs #the magnus archives #wtgfs #tma wtgfs #wtgfs tma #do jon and georgie have a ship name ive never thought abt that before #i really like imagining what they had going that was good for them #why they loved each other in the first place #and what made them separate #jon tma #georgie tma #melanie tma #the archivist #georgie barker #melanie king

[sesamenom]

dear british silm people: where approximately would be a good place for the Dagorath final battle to happen?

#silm #silmarillion #geography #britain #i'm working on writing/drawing the maglorath #and at least in my hc/maglorathverse modern british isles = tol himling #and i want the battle to happen there as a symbolic thing #but i am very much not british and have no clue where to put it #and i don't really want to invent an entirely new place? like im fine changing something where theres just a parking lot or ikea irl #but i don't want to just tape a fake peninsula onto your country #btw if you have a good semi-secluded suburban area to tentatively place maglors neighborhood in that would be great too #but that one's easier to excuse bc his presence does weird things to the area anyways #so it could easily be somewhere not visible/accessible to humans

[hotdamnitsmoony]

lily evans’ comfort tv show would be the good place. no i will not elaborate.

#lily evans #lily would love the good place 100% #don’t question me #marauders #marauders era #dead gay wizards #marauders drabble #lily evans headcanons #lily evans hc

[charizardstolemynickname]

for those in the life series fandom but who aren't on tiktok here is what has been happening the last few days/weeks over there:

1. A music artist does a video on the names of playlists that their song is in

2. In the video maybe 2 life series playlists appear

3. The comments are full of "GOODTIMESWITHSCAR MENTION?!?!" or "NO WAY LIFE SERIES MENTION??"

4. So the artist makes another few videos with a few focused on specifically the life series and one specific song of theirs

5. The fans are still going wild in the comments AND CONVINCE THE ARTIST TO WATCH 3RD LIFE

6. It seems from other posts they have watched 3rd life from DESERT DUO POV

7. Today I see on their story that they are watching third life from the pov of FLOWER HUSBANDS

I am not dumb, I know this is a marketing scheme, HOWEVER worst case, if they are absolutely just watching bits of 3rd life, if not the full series, just to get more views, then that is funnier than any other explanation

I like to think they are ACTUALLY enjoying it, as its their 3rd pov watching

Evidence above ^ the artist is called Sparkbird and they go by they/them in case anyone is curious

#i cannot speak to how good the songs are as i havent personally listened to them (i watch a lot of tiktok with soundoff) #but the fans on tiktok are going wild over this so i thought i should update trafficblr who may not be on tiktok #chr post #life series #life series smp #cant believe we got desert duo AND flower husbands out of a music artist just by saying the playlists are scar or scott coded #the world is a strange place but i love it #flower husbands #desert duo #adding those so i can get reminded of this whenever i search through my blog #traffic life series #trafficblr #i hope you all find this as strange/confusing/cool as i do #for once tiktok isnt being toxic and instead being.... excited for someone? #and excited someone agrees with their hcs and likes their favourite youtube series? its odd but i love it

[archduke-enver-gortash]

mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again. #sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does #like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful #while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child #like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all. #imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child #only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you #his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you #agree deep down #and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept #but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide #and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke #and you discarded it and got a new one #and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow #and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it #until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly #and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different #and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child #and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da #and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand #but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs! #so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee #his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing #and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately. #but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when. #like. imagine that. jesus dude. #like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love #or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do #with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here. #but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like