#the fuck you husbands

[vroomvroomwee]

OK OK OK I know everyone is all over sleeveless turtleneck Crowley, but for the love of God I cannot get this out of my head

(Leaves room to headcannon that he wore this after things started going to shit so that he could get his wings out more easily)

#backless turtleneck crowley #he also wore it in the 60s #aka when he was planning to steal holy water #its his “i'll fuck you up if i have to” shirt #crowley #goodomens #aziraphale #good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #aziracrow #turtleneck crowley

[raggedy-spaceman]

S02E04 The Hitchhicker

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #1941 #michael sheen #david tennant #aziraphale #crowley #good omens 2 spoilers #gomens #gos2 spoilers #go2 spoilers #WHEN I SAW THAT TWEET #I LITERALLY DIED #THIS IS SO FUNNY #CROWLEY YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE SERVED ON A SILVER PLATTER #michael you really are a menace #michael just decided to let us know that aziraphale FUCKS #crowley you idiot #you have no idea #forgive that ? box btw my phone is terrible #mine

[joycrispy]

One thing I love about Crowley --never stated, but consistently shown-- is that he is, at heart, an engineer.

I have a few different things to say about that. Let's unpack them.

As the Unnamed Angel, we see his designs for the Pillars of Creation are millions of pages long, comprised of cramped text, footnotes, diagrams, schematics, etc. It's very...Renaissance polymath, in the way it implies a particular intersection of artist and inventor.

Also: in the naked romanticism with which he views his stars.

We already knew he made stars, but in s2 we learn that he did NOT sculpt each of them by hand. He designed a nebula ("a star factory," he says) that will form several thousand young stars and proto-planets, and all --aside from getting the 'factory' running-- without him lifting a finger. We also learn that these young stars and proto-planets stand in contrast to those made by other angels, which are going to come 'pre-aged.'

...I'm reminded of Hastur and Ligur's approach to temptations. Damning one human soul at a time, devoting singular attention to it over the course of years or decades, and how that stands in contrast to Crowley's reliance on, quote, 'knock-on effects.'

Ligur: It's not exactly...craftsmanship. Crowley: Head office don't seem to mind. They love me down there.

Hm.

I'm also reminded of the M25.

The M25 may not be as grand as a nebula (sentences you only say in GOmens fandom...), but LIKE his nebula it's an intricate, self-sustaining engine that does Crowley's work for him, many times over. Again.

That's some pretty neat characterization --and so is the indication towards Crowley's disinterest in victimizing anyone tempting individual people. It takes a considerable amount of planning and effort (and creeping about in wellies), but in accordance with his design the M25 generates a constant stream of low-grade evil on a gigantic scale.

Cumulatively gigantic, that is. Individually? Negligible.

But no other demon understands human nature well enough to parse that one million ticked-off motorists are not, in any meaningful way, actually equivalent to one dictator, or one mass-murderer, or even one little influential regressive. That's the trick of it. Crowley gets Hell's approval (which he NEEDS to survive, and to maintain the degree of freedom he's eked out for himself), and at the same time ensures that any actual ~Evil Influence~ is spread nice and thin.

It's some clever machinery. And he knows it, too:

The Unnamed Angel and Crowley are both proud of their ideas.

(musings on professional pride, Leonardo da Vinci, the crank handle, and 'the point to which Crowley loves Aziraphale' under the cut)

In the 1970's Crowley gives a presentation on the M25, projector and all, to a room full of increasingly impatient demons. Maybe the presentation was work-ordered; the 'can I hear a WAHOO?' definitely wasn't.

Before the Beginning, the Unnamed Angel can barely contain his excitement about his nebula. Aziraphale manages a baffled-but-polite, "....That's nice... :)"

11 years ago, Hastur and Ligur want to 'tell the deeds of the day,' and Crowley smiles to himself because (according to the script-book) he knows he has 'the best one.'

(Naturally, his 'deed' has nothing to do with tempting anybody, and everything to do with setting up a human-powered Rube-Goldberg machine of petty annoyance. Oodles of 'Evil' generated; very little harm done.)

Hastur and Ligur don't get it, of course. That's also consistent.

Nobody ever knows what the hell he's talking about.

It didn't make it on-screen, but, in both the novel AND the script-book, Crowley was friends with Leonardo da Vinci. The quintessential Renaissance polymath. That's where he got his drawing of the Mona Lisa --they're getting very drunk together, and Crowley picks up the 'most beautiful' of the preliminary sketches. He wants to buy it. Leonardo agrees almost off-the-cuff, very casual, because they're friends, and because he has bigger fish to fry than haggling over a doodle:

He goes, "Now, explain this helicopter thingie again, will you?" Because he's an engineer, too.

(It is 1519 at the latest, in this scene. Why the FUCK would Crowley know about helicopters, and be able to explain them, comprehensively, to Leonardo da Vinci?

...Well. I choose to believe he got bored one day and worked it out. Look, if you know how to build a nebula, you can probably handle aerodynamics. And anyway, I think it's telling that this is his idea of shooting the shit. 'A drunken mind speaks a sober heart,' and all. He probably babbled about Aziraphale long enough to make poor Leo sick)

Apart from Aziraphale, Leonardo da Vinci is the only person Crowley has any keepsakes or mementos of.

Think about that, though. Aziraphale's bookshop is bursting with letters, paintings, busts, and personalized signatures memorializing all the humans he's known and befriended over 6000 years (indeed: Aziraphale has living human friends up and down Whickber Street. He's part of a community).

Crowley doesn't have any of that. It's just the stone albatross from the Church (for pining), the infamous gay sex statue (for spicy pining), the houseplants (for roleplaying his deepest trauma over and over, as one does), and this one piece of artwork, inscribed, "To my friend Anthony from your friend Leo da V."

To me, at least, that suggests a level of attachment that seems to be rare for Crowley.

...Maybe he liked having someone to talk shop with? Someone who was interested? Someone engaged enough to ask questions when they didn't immediately understand?

...Anyway.

There's also the matter of the crank handle.

This thing:

This is one of the subtler changes from the book. In the book, Crowley knows Satan is coming and, desperate, arms himself with a tire iron. It's the best he can do. He's not Aziraphale; he wasn't made to wield a flaming sword.

The show, IMO, improves on this considerably. Now he, like Aziraphale, gets to face annihilation with what he was made for in his hand. And it's not a weapon, not even an improvised one like the tire iron.

He made stars with it.

[both gifs by @fuckyeahgoodomens]

If you Google 'crank handle,' you'll get variations on this:

Crank handles have been around for centuries. Consisting of a mechanical arm that's connected to a perpendicular rotating shaft, they are designed to convert circular motion into rotary or reciprocating motion.

Which is to say they're one of the 'simple machines,' like a lever or a pulley; the bread and butter of engineering. You'll also get a list of uses for a crank handle, archaic and modern. Among them: cranking up the engine of an old-fashioned car... say, a 1933 Bentley. That's what Crowley has been using his for, lately. But he's had it since he was an angel and he's still, it seems, very capable of it's angelic applications.

Stopping time. For instance.

(This is conjecture on my part, but, I like to imagine that Crowley has the ability to stop time for the same reason I can --and should-- unplug my computer before I perform maintenance on it. Time and Space are a matched set, after all, and in his designs in particular, one feeds into the other.)

I know everyone has already said this, but: I REALLY LIKE that when he needs to channel the heights of his power, he does so not with a weapon but with a tool. Practically with a little handheld metaphor for ingenuity. One from long-lost days when he made beautiful things.

(And he loved it. Still loves it --he incorporated that metaphor into the Bentley, didn't he?)

Let Aziraphale rock up to the apocalypse with a weapon: he has his own compelling thematic reasons to do exactly that. Crowley's story is different, and fighting isn't the only way to express defiance. And if you've been condemned as a demon and assumed to be destructive by your very nature, what better way than this?

He made stars. They didn't manage to take that from him.

Neither Crowley nor Aziraphale are fighters, really --they have no intention of fighting in any war. They'll annoy everyone until there's no war to fight in, for a start. But between the two, if one must be, then that one is Aziraphale. Principality of the Earth, Guardian of the Eastern Gate, Wielder of the Flaming Sword... all that stuff. Even if he'd prefer not to, it's very clear that Aziraphale can rise to the occasion, if he must.

Crowley was never that kind of angel. He wasn't a Principality. He doesn't have a sword.

...And yet.

It's Crowley who protects. He's the one who paces, who stands guard, who circles Aziraphale and glares out at the world, just daring anyone else to come near.

In light of everything else I've said here, I think that's interesting.

Obviously part of it is that Aziraphale enjoys it and, you know, good for him. He's living his best life, no doubt no doubt no doubt. But what about Crowley? What's driving that behavior, really?

Have you heard the phrase, 'loved to the point of invention'? Well, what if 'the point of invention' was where you started? What if where you end up involves glaring out at the world, just daring anyone else to come near? What is that, in relation to the bright-eyed thing you used to be?

What do we name the point to which Crowley loves Aziraphale?

...Thinking about how an excitable angel with three million pages of star design he wants to tell you all about...becomes a guard dog. Is all.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #Crowley #Aziraphale #good omens 2 #good omens meta #unfortunately I do not have trains of thought #only long meandering strolls of thought #sorry about it #anyway tl;dr Crowley is a nerd #also I have a strange emotional attachment to the idea of 1500's Crowley... #...facedown in a pile of Mona Lisa sketches; drunkenly info-dumping about Aziraphale #and Da Vinci is just like. 'Ahhhh mio amico Antonio. You fucking simp.'

[ineffable-romantics]

The thing is, I don't think Aziraphale thinks of it as changing Crowley at all. To him, Pre-Fall Crowley and Demon Crowley are the same person, kind and fun and sweet and cool and equally beloved. So to him, there should be no difference whether Crowley is here on Earth or up in Heaven with him, he'll still just be Crowley, and at least this way they would be safe and protected.

All the while Crowley sees it as Aziraphale's long-term love and acceptance being conditional (like God's that was already ripped away), that Aziraphale has just been slumming it with him being a demon bc there wasn't anything they could do about it, and that he's jumping at the chance to fundamentally change Crowley the first chance he gets.

#i love and understand aziraphale's point of view #genuinely i do #but also #fuck you a little bit aziraphale #Good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #gos #gos spoilers #gos2 #gos2 spoilers #gomens #gomens spoilers #gomens 2 #gomens 2 spoilers #good omens s2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #pre fall crowley #angel crowley #meta #mine

[ghosts-cyphera]

18+; mdni / husband!john price x afab!reader

all I'm saying is that husband!price would slip a dildo in you before sliding your snug little panties back on. he'd lay back on the couch with a cigar and a newspaper, watching you do your little housewife chores while he knows that your panties are getting more soaked by the minute.

he'd notice every small breath and whimper escaping your lips. he'd notice the way you'd squeeze your thighs together every now and then, and the knit of your brows as you'd try your best to focus on chopping vegetables for dinner.

he'd know the feeling to be driving you mad: the feeling of your pussy being so full, all while it wasn't enough. how could it be when it wasn't him pumping in and out of your soaked cunt?

he, too, would only be able to take so much of it. the shaking of your hands would only keep on increasing, until price would finally close his distance to you and gently push aside whatever adorable attempts at cooking you had managed to get done.

he'd gently slide your panties down your thighs.

gently bend you over the kitchen counter of your home as his fingers would wrap around the base of the plastic toy.

fucking torturous, all while so goddamn good as he'd begin to slide it in and out of you. so slow: slow enough to get you begging in no time. so deep: deep enough to fuck you straight to the edge of your orgasm.

"not so fast, sweetheart." his breath against your skin would be warm with his chuckle. "my wife does not come around a fuckin' piece of plastic."

faster than you'd realize, price would slide the dildo out and replace it with his cock. so much better, wasn't it?

so much deeper: his little wife made to be stretched around him; to be fucked silly in their kitchen, all pretty and domestic in their little apron.

"there you go, darling wife. all fuckin’ mine."

#SCREAMING where the fuck did this come from nobody judge me #john price x reader #price x reader #captain john price x reader #husband!price #john price smut #john price x you

[purrvaire]

they're so in love im gonna throw up real quick

#in my defence i had warned you i was going to be the most annoying fucker on earth #what the fuck guys this is too much for my brain to process #they're so in love i want to jump from the balcony #LOOK AT THEM #this is after the blitz and aziraphale had the courage to say CROWLEY was going too fast #MY ANGEL IN CHRIST YOU'RE SO CLOSE TO GIGGLE AND TWIRL YOUR HAIR YOURSELF #michael sheen commiting to make the softest warmest most loving eyes every chance he gets #what and i cannot stress this enough the fuck #my dads (real) #tumblr text meme #tumblr text posts #good omens season two #good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #user purrvaire

[p4nishers]

i cant get over the ball being so CLEARLY all for crowley i can't get over aziraphale trying to woo him with a WHOLE FUCKING BALL because that's what he knows that's what romance IS for him because he's been wanting to dance with crowley ever since dancing was invented and he's so stuck in time with the way he dresses and talks and he still thinks a dance is the high of romance AND HE MADE A WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING BALL FOR CROWLEY JUST SO HE COULD DANCE WITH HIM like now it's so fucking obvious he gave away his BOOKS without a second thought and it was all for crowley he organised a whole JANE AUSTEN THEME BALL just so he could have an excuse to finally dance with the love of his life and i can't get over this i'm shaking my fists and pacing up and down he did not give a single fuck about anything other than dancing with crowley and HE BARELY TOUCHED OTHER PEOPLE'S HANDS WHILE HIS WHOLE FUCKING PALM WAS PRESSED TO CROWLEY'S AND i need to lie down

#im actually not okay im never getting over this #this was actually the most romantic thing to ever happen on television prove me wrong you can't #no because he spent CENTURIES reading about and witnessing and orchestring romances and he's been wanting to living in them WITH CROWLEY al #this fucking time and crowley rescuing his books was the most romantic thing that ever happened to him and in return HE GAVE AWAY THE BOOKS #HE LOVES SO FUCKING MUCH FOR CROWLEY AND OH GOD OH JESUS #how am i still not normal about this show im literally box breathing and my heart is fucking POUNDING from a SHOW i cant i just cant #i need psychiatric help #good omens #good omens s2 #azicrow #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable spouses #good omens season 2 #ineffable husbands #go s2

[deunmiu-dessie]

okay, you guys can't tell me that husband john price isn't a domestic man, a soft domestic man who absolutely adores the domestic life. he gives off that energy, like i can imagine him going home to his cute little wife, hugging and kissing on her and cooking with her in the kitchen. john who hosts cook-outs often on the patio (with a beer in hand) to invite over the team and a few of your girl friends. i mean, ya'll can't see price waking you up with a cup of coffee or tea?? kissing you on the temple when you wrap your arms around him from behind when he's cooking breakfast?! this man literally builds things for you to make cooking, cleaning, or anything else you do around the house, easier. john will literally stand outside the bathroom with a notepad in hand to write down the grocery list with you (🧍🏻‍♂️). john also loves wrapping you in his arms and swaying with you when you play music. john will always pull you onto his lap when the two of you sit on the porch to watch the rain. he's so soft for you and you guys! he watches you, it's an intense, love-filled gaze. he notices everything about you. this man doesn't know what he'd do without you, probably be lost tbh.

connected with this post!

#captain john price #captain price #john price #john price x reader #price x you #price x reader #writeblr #writers on tumblr #call of duty #cod mw #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #captain john price x reader #captain price x reader #call of duty modern warfare #cod mwii #cod modern warfare #DADDY PRICE #tf 141 #female reader #captain price x you #domestic fluff #domestic john price #husband john price #RAHHHH I LIVE FOR DOMESTIC PRICE #FUCKS HARD BUT LOVES TENDERLY #REHEHHEHE #deunmiu dessie

[buckleydiazmp4]

no but the thing is. they KISSED. on screen. it was a real scene, not deleted, not removed from a script, it HAPPENED in front of the world's eyes. and AND the actors are normal about it and the whole cast and crew is normal about it and it's not vague and it's IMPORTANT. no matter the rest of it and what came after it, it happened!!

#and i AM gonna say this in the tags to avoid too much controversy but #STOP COMPARING GOOD OMENS TO SUPERNATURAL THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO POINT IN DOING THAT. WHY #why do you need to treat good omens as inferior to a show that was so fucked up. i love certain aspects of spn but #i would never in my life pit those shows against each other because they are nowhere near the same in ANY way #and guess what. i feel more fulfilled with the (CANON might i remind you) arc between crowley and aziraphale than i ever did with destiel #there. i said it and i WILL happily die on that hill alone if i had to #I LOVE WHEN ROMANTIC FEELINGS BETWEEN CHARACTERS ARE ACKNOWLEDGED AMD THEY DID THAT FOR FUCKING REAL #good omens spoilers #gomens #good omens 2 #good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #david tennant #michael sheen

[boylikeanangel]

the way posts like this from the official socials of good omens aren't even baiting us anymore they're literally just marketing the real and canon love story that is textual in the show itself is something my brain simply cannot come to terms with I was just about to get angry at this and then I remembered oh yea that's actually canon they can say shit like that now with no ulterior motive. I keep asking this but legitimately how the fuck did we get here how the hell did we survive long enough to live in a world where this is the norm. I don't think I'm ever gonna get used to it

#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEYRE NOT FUCKING WITH US #HOW DID WE GET HERE #good omens #good omens spoilers #ineffable husbands

[lotus-pear]

bsd rewatch w my friend means obligatory art of my fav found family ever

#WAAAAAAAAAUUUUGHHHHHHHH I MISS THEM SO FUCKING MUCH YOU GUYS GENUINELY DON'T UNDERSTAND.............................................. #LIKE. NOT A DAY GOES BY WHERE I DONT THINK ABT THEM UEUUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEUEUEUEUE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #bro i didn't mean to make atsushi that short LMFAO it's ok tho bc he's their little boy. their son #literally was in the trenches drawing kunikida bc i've been drawing twinks for so long i forgot how to draw actual MEN😭😭 #when will my family return from the war..................................................................... #rewatching bsd made me realize its just a rly shitty slice of life romcom featuring ml dazai and his tired work partner/husband #and the story of how they got their first kid. sopping wet pathetic kitten of a boy they picked up off the riverbank #anyway theyre all so dear to me you don't understandddddd i love these dumbass partners and their little tiger boy :(((((((((((((( #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #atsushi nakajima #nakajima atsushi #doppo kunikida #kunikida doppo #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #kunikidazai #knkdz #lotus draws

[ch3rr13zk1n]

so

yknow how there's a lot of mannequins in regretevator..

like..

Jimmy, Mannequin Mark, Glevil and etc??

Well........

*deviously rubs hands together*

Like and Reblog or I'll send you to ohio /j

#shit #sillyposting #silly #stuff #lolzers #regretevator #art #femboy wallter #wallter #regretevator wallter #wallter regretevator #regretevator mark #mannequin mark #regretevator mannequin mark #wallmark #glevil regretevator #jimmy regretevator #Mannequinn regretevator (Mf doesn't have a popular tag L) #boots regretevator #<- BOOTS HAS A TAG BUT NOT THE FUCKING MANNEQUIN WITH A CAT FACE???? #roblox regretevator #regretevator fanart #regretevator roblox #regretevator art #fanart #I'm pulling out the tags like there's no tomorrow #I fucking went through hell rendering boots only for the damn boots of this mf to get covered grrrrrrrr #i ship jimter/walljim because i can just imagine Mark saying “YOU FUCKED MY EX HUSBAND?????” #<- it would be so fucking funny #Wallter harem

[demonictacobeard]

Lilith, surprised when Adam’s contact picture shows up on her phone: Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re supposed to be dead aren’t you? I felt the deal break months ago

Adam, who got sick of his and Lucifer’s UST last night and made a move: I mostly lived bitch, I just had to ask YOU PICKED THE BORING ASS BEACHES OF PURGATORY OVER SEX WITH THAT MAN FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #adamsapple #sinner adam #guitarduck #hazbin hotel lilith #suggestive #cw sex mention #Lilith is in purgatory theory #Adam: You fumbled lady FUMBLED #Lilith: …..I’d tell you to go to hell but apparently when you do that you fuck my other ex husband #This doesn’t follow the timeline of the whole series I’ve got going on #Just general guitarduck content

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

I commissioned the incredibly talented @bat-boness to draw Lucifer in his Wedding attire from Chapter 2 of my fic “Dress Up” and it turned out absolutely STUNNING!

PLEASE COMMISSION THEM IF YOU CAN BECAUSE THEY DO AMAZING AND BREATHTAKING WORK! THANK YOU AGAIN, I AM ABSOLUTELY HEAD OVER HEELS FOR THIS HANDSOME DEVIL 💖💖💖

#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #my writing #my fic #commission #I’M STILL NOT OVER HIM HE’S FUCKING BEAUTIFUL #THAT’S MY FUCKING HUSBAND Y’ALL!!!! #BAT YOU ARE A GOD

[spirk-trek]

#just checking :) #this is it #this is the whole show #spock #spirk #star trek tos #star trek the original series #james t kirk #captain kirk #k/s #gay #space husbands #the premise #what the fuck is wrong with them #jim kirk #star trek #screencaps #my edit #spock's expression is sooo 'you like what you see?' #cheeky bastard #ugh i can't remember the episode... #i think it's arena #yeah #arena

[spielzeugkaiser]

Georg Janny - Summer Night, 1926 After a certain point I had quite the fun with this, but rip to all the details you can't see because they don't show up on my shitty phone camera- maybe I can get my hands on a scanner soon. I'm still open for prompts for this series :)

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #illustration #traditional art #most of this was done with pencils #the base was gouache! #classical rework #you can kind of still see where I fucked up the perspective royally but pssssssst #this is one where I could have continiued to work on forever but had to say 'good enough' at some point