#the first being that when I told her that I had ADHD she asked if it was ADHD or ADD

[mysticcrownwolf]

So your girl finally had a autistic meltdown and finally asked her mum about her childhood and got some mixed results but long story short I am finally getting an official autism and adhd diagnosis because in my mums words “Everyone deserves things that make their life easier to live”. Not gonna lie guys I did cried about this but it also came up that they did tried to get me diagnosed before (I don’t remember this at all) but were told I just had very high levels of hyperactivity so to make sure this type of bullshit doesn’t happen again I am making a list of all my weird or quirky traits and having the neurodivergents of Tumblr peer review them so I can finally get a diagnosis after 19 years of struggling.

1) I didn’t ever in my life made or had friends that stick around.

2) I was actually alienated a lot by most people in my life for being the umbrella term they all coined as ‘weird’ what this weird means varies from person to person.

3) I have actually been told by other girls that they gave me a chance to keep them company even after many people told them I was too weird and they should stay away from me. These same people later called me slurs, were self absorbed or just plain abusive towards me.

4) Through out my whole life I have sat alone on a double bench because no one wanted to sit with me in class.

5) I have a problem with properly spelling certain words like I write weird as ‘wierd’ or video as ‘vedio’.

6) People constantly doubt I have any sense of knowledge and act like any good idea I give is a surprise even when I was on the top of the class the phrases like “ That’s the first good idea you ever had” weren’t uncommon.

7) I walk a lot and I mean a lot enough that hyperactivity has still been a part of my diagnostic because I walked so much they had no choice but to put that in. I actually come to the school 30 minutes early then walked the whole time, I would just up and leave classes to walk in corridors because I couldn’t sit still long enough, my walking is such a huge part of me my old teachers still tell their classes about me as the girl that walked too much.

8) People in my college nicknamed me the headphone girl because I walked around our whole campus( I would pace a lot around the parameters) with my only noticeable feature being my headphones.

9) I was the only kid in my school not scared of bugs which lead to some notable incidents

I once picked a small green caterpillar and showed it off to my class of 10 year olds they started crying and teacher made me throw the bug even though I wanted to keep it as a pet

Our teacher once asked us to bring butterflies to class so I captured around 30 butterflies put them in a breathable Tupperware and took those to class me being the only person who did this freaked out all the other children with my butterflies , we later released them all in recess it was very pretty

I not only volunteered but gleefully presented live earthworms on my palm to various groups of parents in our school science fare much to the horrified looks of many parents and children about how a little girl like me wasn’t screaming from handling earthworms.

I scared our class mean girl by capturing a butterfly and then turning my hand holding the butterfly in her direction she and a few other girls screamed when I tried to tell them that the little critter was harmless and even offered to let them hold her (I was very confused why they didn’t like this).

10) I was friends with a lot of my teachers as well as higher class teachers especially the Science, Social studies and English teachers. I would often spend my recess in the biology lab chatting with the biology teacher about the different specimens in the lab and how much I enjoyed biology in general. I am half sure I would have loved to study biology/medicine if not for the fact it was a minimum investment of 7 years though I am still an avid reader of new biological discoveries and follow many niche youtube channels that focus on flora and fauna.

11) I was actually friends with all 3 principles in my school and would go to them after my last class to chat about my school day. This was so bizarre to others but I actually enjoyed how much these adults would listen to my info dump even if my own peers won’t.

12) Every single time my report card came I would usually top the class in most subjects except maths in which I usually underperformed ( don’t worry guys I figured out later I just need to know every basic concept to get the deep understanding of mathematical principles which my teachers were very bad at build but I later learned how to do it myself) but it would always have in big bold letters that “I talked to much and have weird questions and am disruptive in class ” which my bad I thought I could get details about what your are teaching and develop great interest but nah we just need to complete the syllabus as fast as we can. Salt on the wound I would only ask questions and discuss topics in class with the teacher since I don’t have friends I could talk to in class. They deadass never ever punished a single student from disrupting in class except me the girl who asked silly questions about what we were studying maybe they thought my questions were weird so I was asking them to disrupt they flow of the class rather than genuine curiosity who knows

13) I had very bad anger issues stemming from how the system as well as authority figures treated me ( I have since been to therapy and gotten help for it ) but a lot of time I verbally and physically attacked an authority figures usually when they punished me for something I didn’t do or when they tried to empty out their frustration on me or tried to bully me in anyway. I never took bullying face down from anybody be it younger or older than me my flight or fight response was always on fight

14) People did tried to bully me physically or verbally but I always returned it in kind with interest so it never really stuck like the isolation did. My most memorable experience with bullying was when I bitch slapped our school mean girl so hard the whole ground heard it , I don’t think I ever got any punishment for it and she later burned every friendship she had by throwing her whole group under the bus for some vandalism they did.

15) I unfortunately never had friends so when they school told me telling an authority figure I am being teased, harassed or even that someone is breaking the rules is what’s morally right I ran with the rules set for me rather than knowing the social norms that this would mark me as the school snitch without the teachers ever doing anything about the issues. Unfortunately I learned the hard way through trial and error that once you are labelled as a snitch their is nothing you can do to get that tag off and it comes with the added benefit of making people never talk to each other near me or even just leave the places I visit alone so yay more loneliness for me

16) I actively volunteered for every single activity and program my school office this sounds great but I picked and got selected for all 7 different fairs (English, Hindi, Maths, Science, Social science, Music, Art) but rather than pick out one or two I helped out with all 7 of them. They later added a 3 groups per person limit.

17) I am actually trained in both classical instrumental and singing but couldn’t complete my singing degree before the program closed down and it’s been 6 years since I played a Casio that I don’t think that even matters anymore. Anyway I added this because at first I did both of these at the same time along with volunteering for all the other activities before they added a 1 course per year limit which is a shame since it cost me my vocal degree.

18) I love reading that just the fact I found reading in my school library when I was 8 haven’t let it go since by my librarian’s estimate I read almost 3000 books (mostly children books) from my school library. I also have a mini collection of about 300 books that I have passed down to both of siblings. These days I read mostly on ao3 or the occasional paperback I bought at the airport but reading is still something I do almost daily.

19) See one thing about me is I was one of the first student at my school so much so my identification number was 35 so me being such an old student my school has actually legends about my quirky ( neurodivergent ) behaviour which has made me understand where most legends actually come from

I walked out of classes so many times teachers to this day still tell stories of the weird girl that likes to walk

My whole school knew who I was mostly because I would be the first and only person that likes to answer philosophical questions asked by our principal in the assembly, I was also great with improvising assembly conductions, thought of the days, assembly quizzes, full speeches on topics told to me 2 minutes ago, even improvised song recitations (can you guys pick up I have social anxiety now).

As I told you my lovelies I love reading so if I was immersed in a book and the class started I would just hide the book to read in class once I got caught so I got termed the girl who like to read books in class( is it stupid yes did it still happened certainly). I later learned to zone out to the stories in my mind during class which was very helpful.

As I told you guys I was actually on pretty friendly terms with my principal and teachers so guess who became the teachers pet for the next 8 years even though most teachers care jack shit about my interest and was further alienated because of this me ofcourse.

I actually once locked myself in the school bathroom for like 4 hours because I hadn’t completed the homework a teacher had given me and she was quite physically abusive towards me. I got suspended for a week because of this funnily enough nobody in my school actually remember this and most are really surprised to know I was suspended.

I am actually really famous or infamous by the way you look at it for physically assaulting a teacher funnily enough the name of the teacher, why I am attacked them and even how I hit them changes from person to person I have actually heard 10-15 different variations from different people( I am not even sure if I actually ever hit a teacher most I remember is I lunged at one teacher but she stepped back so I didn’t even touch her).

20) I was depressed from age 14 to 17 which caused me to chronic pain which later caused me to meet my current psychologist who helped me a lot but is vehemently against me getting any sort of neurodivergent diagnosis most she say is I have borderline adhd tendencies and that I think to much and should focus on calming down my mind which honestly is quite invalidating.

21) I can’t wear any sort of itchy or frilly materials when I was younger ( the texture was soo bad) but my sister could which made my mother think I was being a drama queen.

22) When I was younger I use toilet paper after using a bidet because the feeling of wet pants would over stem me so bad it’s not a problem for me anymore except from sometimes during winters.

23) I didn’t know Chewelry existed when I was younger so I chewed on my nails/skin,my lips, squishy parts of remotes, plastic toys, legos, scarfs, hoody strings, hot glue gun glue, chalk, cement, sand, mud etc. (Yes I know about the microplastics now no I don’t care).

24) I am highly sensitive to sounds so if my fan have a weird creak sound I won’t be able too sleep I also can’t sleep if I hear a clock ticking or any other repetitive sounds ( my mum still doesn’t understand why I can’t just force myself to sleep).

25) I also can’t sleep in continuous silence I need background noise to fall asleep.

26) It took me a whole year of forcing myself to wear bra and panties for my body to finally get used to me wearing them. It was a stimulation nightmare but I think it was worth it I enjoy wearing bras and panties now.

27) I can’t eat apples like I physically cringe even thinking of the sensation of biting into an apple. I have tried cutting an apple into every single why I could I still can’t swallow or even properly chew an apple the texture is such a sensory nightmare for me. Cabbage used to be the same for me but though constant reintroduction I can usually for myself to eat it with a glass of water

28) I have had many foods be absolutely sensory nightmare for me throughout my childhood. I was a very picky eater think bread, soup, lentils and noodles(packet noodles without vegetables). I couldn’t eat any kinds of fruits(except banana), vegetables, pizza , burgers (still don’t eat this), dumplings, wraps, pasta,etc. Heck I was a vegetarian for majority of my life before I learned chicken is actually a great textured food for me though I still don’t eat any form of red meat or sea foods and my food list is still very limited I have constantly reintroduced many foods for myself over the years which I can now usually bear to eat. I also learned that I can usually consume fruit and vegetables better if they are liquids so fruits juices, smoothies and soups were also great help.

29) I was and still am an absolutely clean freak and organiser. Like my bag use to have books organised in this specific order English, Hindi, Maths, Science and then Social studies and it needs to been in this order or I would get anxious. Fortunately no one else in my house ever wanted to organise anything so I would organise everything with way I would want it to be while also being neat.

30) One of my biggest sources of stress came from how dirty my siblings made our room. I would deep clean everything and then organise our books , toys and clothes and then clean and organise our bed they would just bulldozers through and ruin all my hard work in a day or two. Unfortunately I had this sense of cleanliness and order since I was a child and my siblings who were even younger then me weren’t slobs(ok maybe my brother was but anyway) they just weren’t wired to like cleanliness and order like I did and being children anything I told them about how we can keep our room clean went over their heads because I was always their to do it for them.

31) I actually had many special interests growing up though I didn’t have trains as an interest except for the cool toy train set I got as a gift or the maglev trains who are objectively very cool. My biggest special interest were rocks, space and animals especially all the books Nat geography and scholastic puts out on animals. I actually had a rock collection mostly made up of sedimentary rock and a piece of lime stone which my mother later kept in the shed where it got lost during home construction. I also have a modest collection of books and another collection of small childhood trinkets that I still have (I recently bought a clay bird that mimics actual bird call when filled with a little water to add to my collection).

32) I forget I need to eat and drink it’s always been like this I don’t have that internal clock that says you are thirsty go drink water or you are hungry go eat food . I need to remind myself it’s been 12 hrs I probably need water it’s been 32 hrs you should probably get some food or at least have a protein shake it’s like my body has no sense of hunger or thirst but I am getting better at eating and drinking at least the drinking water part anyway.

33) I am tired it’s not recent but in the last few years since I became an adult I feel so tired I use to be the topper of my class the gifted children that participated in everything now I am in college and just getting an 80% feels draining everyone has so much hope for me that I could and should do better but I am just tired. I walk and trekk sometimes but I don’t participate in any events and I see others I see my roommate who participates in like 5 different events and still gets a 95% if she can do it why can’t I. I use to be able to do so much and now I don’t have the drive to do much of anything anymore it’s so painful to realise that I should do better but what does better looks like for someone who is as tired as I am.

I did took some online test as well just to see if I even had a chance and the results were mostly the same I have many Adhd/Autistic tendencies and should probably get a professional diagnosis. I would be very thankful if my fellow autistic and adhd people would help me add more targeted experiences so I can finally get a diagnosis

@my-autism-adhd-blog you inspired me write all of this down and it would be very helpful if you could guide me to get a better diagnosis because of your experience. Also I greatly enjoy the contents of your blog so thank you for that

#autistic things #autism #autism spectrum #neurodivergent #neurodivergent experience #neurodivergence #actually neurodivergent #neurodivergent things #actually autistic #actually adhd #attention deficit hyperactivity disorder #adhd

[8rujaa]

my therapist really saved me….

#tw abuse // tw sa #i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this. #like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her #i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling #literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her #i was so dissociated during our first few sessions #thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out #i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking #i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session #she’s truly incredible. #i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’ #i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong #and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’ #she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be #best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’ #i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply #doing what’s best for me was an option… l #ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress #when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength. #yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D #me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress #im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help. #the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened. #my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’ #LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said #’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’ #she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point #she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help) #im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it #my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.

[nicnacsnonsense]

Tried out a new primary care doctor today… Unfortunately it looks like we’re going to have to keep trying.

#we had two big red flags for me: #the first being that when I told her that I had ADHD she asked if it was ADHD or ADD #and look I’m not even going to ding her for not knowing that the official diagnosis of ADD was combined into ADHD back in 1987 #but then as I was trying to figure out how to explain that to her she said she sees this a lot and I don’t seem hyperactive #second red flag was I had come in wanting to get tested for a specific thing based on family history and symptoms that I’ve been having #and she did order the blood test along with tests for #but then she starts demanding I make these broad changes to my diet #without talking through it with me to figure out what kind of changes are doable for me #all to address vitamin deficiencies that we don’t know if I have and symptoms that may be caused by a medical condition not diet #but again we don’t know that yet because apparently we can’t wait the few days it’ll take to get the bloodwork back #no I have to change my diet right now #oh wait three red flags because the way she was talking about food was pretty suspicious #lots of sugar and carbs are inherently bad vibes

[sturnioloskyline]

Idk if your right something like this but I’d find it so silly if you could! So the idea is Matts girlfriend and she’s has ADHD and she like vocal stims a lot when she’s comfortable around people,and she’s always saying the most outrageous things she hears from TikTok’s as a vocal stim ( I can’t go a second with out going “ hundred bans in my panties” because the cortisa star song that’s on my fyp but you can do any TikTok sound!) And she’s like either whispering it or yelling it when she deems it to quite around her! Or something of the sorts if you don’t do this it’s totally ok! Have a wonderful day/night! 🤍💙

blurt out

pairing: matt x fem!adhd!reader

warnings: language, adhd(obv), stimming, cheesy fluff, not proofread

summary: whenever there’s a catchy audio on tiktok, it somehow becomes one of your stims.

disclaimer: i am by no means romanticizing adhd. some of this is slightly based off of my own experiences with being neurodivergent, but i also did some research online, so i apologize if anything is inaccurate!

matt was incredibly understanding and supportive when it came to your adhd. when you first started dating, you were so nervous to tell him, and would mask it all the time around him. but as your relationship progressed, you realized that matt would never judge you or think of you any differently for your adhd.

so you became a lot more open about your adhd, and to be honest, matt loved it. he loved when you told him about your hyperfixations, and he adored the way you’d try to focus so hard while he spoke to you.

after a few months of dating, matt and his brothers had grown completely used to your adhd symptoms. they understood that your short attention span and fidgeting were just parts of what made you you, and they wouldn't have it any other way.

this particular day, nick had suggested that you join them as a special guest for their next car video. you were sitting in the passenger seat of the car, waiting for matt to check the camera angle. chris sat behind you in the backseat, with nick to his side.

you watched as matt stood in front of the minivan, bending slightly over the hood to get a good look at the viewfinder of the camera. he gestured to the left, and you reached out to the dashboard to adjust the camera's position. matt gave you a thumbs up and made his way back to the driver's seat.

"okay, looks good," matt said as he got in the car. he smiled at you warmly, wanting to provide you with a sense of comfort. this was the first video of theirs that you would ever be in, so it was safe to say that you were a bit nervous.

"alright. hey guys, happy friday," nick addressed the camera, leaning forward so he was farther in frame. "today we have a special guest."

you smiled and waved at the camera, glancing at matt who just grinned.

"this is matt's girlfriend, y/n," nick explained. chris let out a cheer, causing you all to laugh. "we're gonna do a q&a with y/n using questions that you guys sent us on instagram."

nick pulled out his phone and began to scroll through the thousands of answers to the triplets' instagram story, searching for a good starter. you looked back at him expectantly before something shiny next to chris caught your attention.

"what's that?" you asked chris, pointing to the can that was in the cupholder next to him. chris pulled it out, scanning the label.

"uhh, it's peach redbull," chris shrugged.

"oh my god, can i please have it?" you asked excitedly. matt chuckled as chris handed you the can, which you immediately grabbed and cracked open. you took a sip and let out a sigh, smiling and setting the can down in the cupholders between you and matt.

"okay first question," nick said, sticking his hand out to grab everyone's attention. "what's it like dating a triplet?"

"um..." you looked out the window, thinking about how you wanted to answer. "i mean, it's like dating any other person, just with triplet brothers? yeah, i guess you could say it's different, because i hang out with you guys all time, but that doesn't mean that me and matt don't like, have our own little moments. but being a triplet doesn't really change anything much. this way i get a boyfriend plus two built-in best friends, which is cool. but me and matt have a pretty normal, average relationship."

you blushed with self-consciousness as you realized you were rambling, quickly shutting your mouth and ending your rant with a quick nod. matt found your word vomit adorable, however, bringing his hand close to your knee, lightly brushing it with his knuckles out of view from the camera. you smiled softly at the reassurance.

nick scrolled through and asked a few more questions, occasionally interrupted by a random tangent that chris went on or something that caught matt's eye through the widow. the video ended up growing longer as the four of you jumped from topic to topic. it was as if you just couldn't stop talking, all of you interrupting each other excitedly and laughing loud enough for the entire parking lot to hear. you grew much more comfortable, slightly forgetting that you were even on camera.

while nick returned to his phone to look for more questions, you, matt and chris were silently communicating. the three of you passed looks to each other, holding back fits of laughter.

"okay, someone asked what you like to—"

"head so good she on honor roll," you blurted out loudly, interrupting nick. the car went silent as you clapped your hand over your mouth, glancing over the camera.

chris erupted into giggles, causing matt to join him. nick started chuckling too.

"sorry! that song is literally all over my for you page right now," you apologized, laughing slightly out of embarrassment. that song had been all you were hearing for the past week, so naturally it worked its way into becoming one of your vocal stims.

"you're fine, y/n. let's move on," nick rolled his eyes at his brothers, who were smacking each other out of laughter.

...

author's note: been a busy week, will post way more on the weekend i promise. also, would it be more fun if i posted one fic every monday, wednesday, and friday? lmk! love u guys 🤍

#sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo imagine #matthew sturniolo

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for arguing with my mom over toys?

I (15) have ADHD and autism and my mom (65) knows but doesn't really believe it. So right now, my hyper fixation is spiderman and barbie. I'm like obsessed and I love looking out for cool toys or merch of them. I rarely ever ask if I can buy them- I don't have a job yet so I have to ask my parents, but when I do it's usually a no. Wich I'm not usually too upset about, I get it. I'm a bit bitter about it, given that when my brothers (18 and 19) ever ask for something my parents will get them it with no questions asked. Besides the point.

A while back, we where in target and I was looking in the toy isle and there are these spiderman figurines and they have ones of spot, Gwen, Peter and Miles. I was obsessed the moment I saw them and asked my mom if I could get Gwen cause she's my absolute favorite. And she said no because she already has all of them at home. She hadn't told me this before but i was excited cause she showed me photos and she had all four of the dolls along with the new Margo Robbie and Ryan gosling barbie and ken dolls. The entire time she was making it out like she had gotten them for me, and I was super excited.

When we got home I waited for a bit, kinda thinking she'd bring them out and show me, but she never did so I eventually just asked "hey! Can I see the Spider-Man dolls?" And she said "no I've already put them away." Turns out she has all of them but she had no intention of ever giving me them and they're all in a bag in her closet. And so I was upset and went down to my room and ended up having a good cry cus this isn't the first time she's done something like this.

Skip forward to today, we where at Walmart and I see the Spider-Man dolls and ask if I could get one and she said "no you already have them." So I said "no, you have them. You keep them in the closet, those aren't mine." She argued back saying that they would be worthless if we took them out. (She has no intention to sell them.) But it went like that and she ended up saying fine and letting me get Gwen. She also let me get one of those 5 dollar Barbies and a Tin of popcorn that was spiderverse themed cus again, hyper fixation.

When we where leaving the restraunt, she made a snide comment telling me she spends so much on me and how I'm so ungrateful. I always say thank you and I always ask before putting things in the cart and I take good care of the dolls I have.

Later today I heard her complaining to my dad (69 haha) about it and calling me a spoiled brat and now I'm worried that I'm just being a bad person and wondering if I'm actually an asshole.

Sorry if this was all over the place, I go off on tangents alot.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[rougecreator1]

Hi ! m a little shy so sorry for talking in anon 😊I was wondering, after I saw you opend reneé request. If you would want to write about ReneéReader (fem, obviously)where Reneé ADHD and anxiety are a little too much and Reader comforts then

Swirling Thoughts ||

|| Renée Rapp x fem!reader

|| Warnings: reader & Renée getting drunk, Renée struggling with anxiety, first time writing for Renée, short drabble (no part 2), light swearing, slight homophobia

|| Summary: Renée's meeting reader's parents for the first time, safe to say she's nervous as shit. Reader helps her through it.

Requests open!

Started: May 12th

Finished: May 13th

~~~

You and Renée have been together for a few months now, the public didn't know and neither did either of your parents. You had kept your relationship pretty secretive. Knowing the kind of chaos that could come with revealing it. You had kept it so secret that no one even knew the two of you were associated with each other until you were ready for them to know.

You were famous for your own works, such as the various shows you'd acted in and the two songs you had released. Music wasn't your main focus, but after a single scene of you singing for a show aired... people begged for more. For you it was more of an extra cash grab that accidentally went more viral than you planned for; which was how you had caught the attention of Renée Rapp.

The two of you were currently laid entangled with each other on the couch, watching a movie in your apartment. Renée had suggested watching one of your older movies and every time you appeared on screen, the two of you would take a shot. So that's what you'd been doing for the last hour an a half.

By this point, you were drunkenly giggling. Head on Renée's shoulder as you looked into her eyes. She wasn't quite as drunk as you, but she was definitely there.

"What, baby?" She asked in a soft tone when she noticed your eyes on hers.

"Nothing~ you're just really pretty." You whispered, a faint pink hue formed on her cheeks when she heard you. She'd never get tired of hearing you compliment her.

"Mm? If I'm pretty what does that make you?" Renée flirts back, hand coming up to your cheek and giving it a gentle rub.

You simply shrugged at her question, not finding an answer to it which made Renée raise an eyebrow.

"Baby, you're fucking stunning." She tells you, now you were the one blushing. Then a thought came across your mind, you wanted to know what she would think of it but you didn't know if you guys were at that stage yet.

She noticed you were in thought but waited to see if you would continue it on your own. When you didn't she gave you a playful nudge, pulling you closer into her arms," What're you thinking about?"

You hesitate, taking another drink despite the fact that your character hadn't been on screen. Leading Renée to realize this was definitely a more serious conversation.

"Do you think we're ready to meet each other's parents?" You asked, you could see Renée's breath hitch as she also took another drink.

"Hell yeah, let's do it." She gives your shoulder a squeeze, though it was the alcohol confidence that lead her to agree.

You guys spent the rest of the night discussing it, talking about the dates for meeting everyone and how you would go about it. You made sure to write everything down in your notes app; not wanting to forget the conversation in the morning.

You and Renée had come to the decision that this coming Sunday, the two of you would have dinner at your parents house. You texted your mom about it, being slightly vague with who exactly you were bringing over but letting her know it was your girlfriend. She was on edge about it. Your parents knew you were gay, your mom took it better than your dad but she still had her complaints.

Mom: Girlfriend?? You're dating again? Honey, you should've told me! There's a nice man that moved in next door.

Your mom texted, you sighed deeply as you read the text. Sunday night was definitely going to be... interesting. To say the least.

You: No mom, I'm happy in my current relationship. Thank you, though.

You weren't going to be rude about it, she was your mother after all. So you let it slide and hoped it would be just the one time comment.

While you were dealing with all of this, Renée was in the kitchen. Pacing back and forth as she fidgeted with her rings. She had gotten in her head and was overthinking everything. Maybe she shouldn't have agreed. Maybe they should wait longer. Was she ready for this?

Her eyes flicked to yours when she saw your figure step into the kitchen doorway. Your expression soft as you walked over, pulling Renée into your arms to slow her pacing. "What's wrong?" You could tell Renée was overthinking, you knew her well enough by now to be able to catch all the little signs.

"I..." Renée paused, taking a breath and allowing herself to melt further into your arms. You gave her side a soft squeeze as you felt her do this," I don't know if I'm ready."

You frowned slightly, having thought that might have been the case." I get it, baby. I'm scared too. How about this.." You quickly came up with a compromise, Renée's eyes on yours as she listened to you," We wait and see how the rest of this week goes. Then make a finale decision Saturday night, if you're not up for it you're not up for it and that's okay."

You could feel her shoulders relax as she gave a gentle nod. Yeah, okay. That sounded fine. She would at least still be making an effort as opposed to quitting as soon as possible.

"Yeah... okay." Renée replied, you gave her forehead a soft kiss and kept her close in your arms. Hoping you at least eased her mind a little.

And you had, she was grateful for you.

#x reader #fanfic #canon x reader #fem reader #wlw fiction #renee rapp x reader #renee x reader #renee rapp

[danikamariewrites]

Azriel x adhd!Reader

A/n: As someone with ADHD I struggle with a lot of stuff like my emotions and daily tasks. I like talking about it bc I don’t think it should be taboo and I hate the stigmatism around it that it’s just people being lazy. If your struggling with ADHD or any other mental health problems know you’re not alone ❤️

Warnings: mentions of mental health struggles, some angst

At first Azriel didn’t understand why your mood could be so up and down all the time. Or why you struggled with getting out of bed some days and others you had so much energy you didn’t know what to do with it.

You didn’t like loud noises, being touched unless you wanted too, and some textures overwhelmed your senses causing you to lash out.

You have a hard time communicating your feelings and he does too, which makes you both frustrated when one of you just brushes the other off or is passive aggressive.

Azriel notices you space out sometimes or that when he’s talking to you, you ask him to repeat things because you didn’t hear him. He thinks it’s odd but brushes it off as you just being preoccupied. He also picks up on your fidgeting but never thought anything of it

One day you both snap at each other resulting in the worst fight you’ve ever had

Azriel ends up going to Rhys for advice because he doesn’t want some stupid fight on a random Monday to be the reason you break up

Azriel tells his brother about the issues that have been building up over the last few months and Rhys, who’s been one of your best friends since childhood, tells him you’ve always been that way

He doesn’t go into detail, it’s your story to tell, but he does tell Az about when you were younger and your parents had Madja come give you a few tests. He remembered being a little nervous for you but you were fine. You just needed a little extra help and attention with things because your brain works differently

Azriel instantly feels bad that he didn’t know

“It’s ok Az, she didn’t even tell me until we were teenagers.” Rhys says sympathetically. “Yeah but I’m the one that’s supposed to be there for her, not get angry with her.” Rhys hugs his brother, insisting he stay the night and that time apart will do you both good

The next morning Az comes home to you baking in the kitchen

You had to move around or the thoughts of Azriel not coming home because you were too much of a burden were going to eat you alive

When you see him you try to apologize but he cuts you off asking if you could sit down and talk

“I don’t want to push, but Rhys told me about when you were younger and the testing with Madja.” He says gently

You take a deep breath, trying to blink your tears away

Sometimes it’s hard for you to talk about your ADHD because you hate to seem weak or different

But you’ve held back long enough and if you didn’t tell Azriel soon you knew you would get worse trying to mask it

You tell him everything. how your energy goes up and down, your depression and that it’s worse because you can’t find the energy to do things

You feel useless sometimes because you forget things or because you don’t listen

He hugs you as you cry into his chest, “I just feel so guilty being this way. I’m sorry Az.”

He brushes away your tears, “It’s ok my love. I know I don’t communicate well either. And I’m sorry, I didn’t know you felt this way. It must’ve been killing you to keep it in.”

From that point forward Azriel was always there to make things better

Your communication improved and fights or the silent treatment became very rare

You weren’t afraid to tell him if something was bothering you or if you needed extra help or attention from him

Azriel and his shadows could pick up if you were being overstimulated or stressed out, so there were times you didn’t even need to ask

If you were out with the group and became uncomfortable Azriel would take you somewhere quite to help calm your anxiety

He’d wrap his wings around you so it would be dark and quite, helping slow your panicked breathing

“It’s ok baby, take a deep breath.” “That’s it, in and out, don’t rush.” “Here feel my heartbeat, can we try and match it?”

If you didn’t like how your sweater or dress was feeling that day he would be there with a back up or give you his own

“Are you sure Az, I don’t want to take it from you then you’ll be cold.” “Don’t worry about me baby, I just want you to be comfortable. Plus I’m built for the cold, Illyrian remember?”

Whenever you start fidgeting it’s usually if you’re bored or nervous. Azriel always keeps a little fidget toy or a pen on him so you can hold it and focus your energy on that. He knows you hate being thought of as a distraction and you think it’s better to focus on a small thing in your hands rather than swinging your feet or pushing your chair around

You thought him knowing about your ADHD would change how he feels about you or treat you differently. You bring this up to him one night in bed, “This doesn’t change the way I feel about you at all. You’re still perfect to me, my love. You just need extra help sometimes and it’s ok to ask for help.”

#acotar fanfiction #acotar reader imagine #acotar #azriel acotar #acotar imagine #azriel x reader #acotar headcanon #azriel fluff #azriel fic #azriel x you #azriel headcanons #acotar reader fic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fanfic

[rosie-b]

Follow the Red Wooly String

A soulmate story written for day 6 of @adrinetteapril, "Red String" (with art!!!)

The art is a commission from the talented @sinkdraws! Her commissions are still open, so consider getting some of her art for yourself, and reblog the non-png version of this image from her, too!!

Without further ado, you can read the fic on AO3 or just below! I hope you enjoy :D

The first time Marinette saw the strings, she thought she was hallucinating.

Everyone knew about the Seers, the few people capable of seeing soul-binding strings, but it was exceptionally rare to meet one, let alone develop the Seers’ ability oneself. And, well, Marinette knew herself well enough to know she couldn’t fully trust herself after pulling an anxiety-and-ADHD-fueled all-nighter. Last time it’d happened, she’d been fully convinced that Nino had grown his hair out into a mohawk and loudly complimented him on it several times before passing out in the middle of class. In the aftermath, Nino had sworn to never wear a new hat without telling Marinette about it first again.

So, Marinette had been more dubious than shocked when she closed her eyes for a second too long on her walk to class in the morning and opened them to see a mess of red, white, black, and yellow strings tangling and shifting around on the pavement in front of her. It was a cool hallucination, she knew it was, but Marinette wasn’t about to celebrate having a new power that she’d most likely daydreamed up.

Her heart still did a happy, nervous dance when she saw the deep red string that had just appeared on her finger, though, and Marinette really didn’t want to quash the hope that her vision was coaxing to new life in her chest! She’d wanted to know who her soulmate was for so long, before becoming Ladybug and meeting Master Fu, anyway. What if she finally had a chance to find them?

On the other hand, though, it was probably safer for her not to find out who they were.

Chat Noir had always believed that they were soulmates. He’d asked Master Fu, the day they’d been invited to his home and the turtle kwami had revealed that Master Fu was a Seer, if he’d chosen them because he could tell their strings were connected. 

Master Fu had only chuckled and said that he’d chosen them because he knew they would work well with Plagg and Tikki, not for any other reason. Besides, if Ladybug and Chat Noir really were soulmates, and if Master Fu told them that now, he’d claimed, that would add to the risk of another Seer seeing the string while they were detransformed and telling them each about it, thus revealing their secret identities.

They both knew what that meant— they’d have to give up their Miraculous, even if they were platonic, not romantic, soulmates. Their secret identities were crucial in the fight against Hawk Moth. So, Chat Noir had given up his hope of confirming their bond, and Ladybug had reluctantly given up her dream of finding her own soulmate (or soulmates). After all, if a Seer did take an interest in finding out whose string connected to hers, wasn’t there a risk that the same Seer might find out Ladybug’s identity, or at least who Ladybug’s soulmate was? 

She didn’t want to put herself or her soulmate in danger like that, so she’d suppressed her childhood dream of being brought to her soulmate by a kind Seer and a little red string.

But sometimes, Marinette couldn’t help but stare at Adrien’s pinky finger during class and imagine a scarlet red string there, connecting his soul to hers. Love was a foolish thing, but Marinette wished she could afford its risk for the sake of being with Adrien. As Ladybug, though, she’d never be able to, so even after Master Fu handed over the Guardianship to her, she ignored her dream of being connected to Adrien as much as she could. Because she loved him, she didn’t want to put him in danger with her foolish hopes.

Today, though, as she approached Ms. Bustier’s classroom (only five minutes late!) and watched as the string trailing down from her finger seemed to grow taught, Marinette couldn’t help but hope that maybe, the universe was making an exception for her. Maybe, if she really was becoming a Seer, that meant she could finally find her soulmate without needing to worry about her secret identity!

Maybe this was a sign… if it wasn’t just an exhaustion-fueled hallucination, that was.

Marinette slid into her seat with a quiet apology to her teacher, who sighed but didn’t act surprised, since this kind of behavior wasn’t really that uncommon for Marinette. As Ms. Bustier resumed her lecture, Marinette found herself staring down at the string on her finger again.

It’s still there. What if it is real? She wondered.

Marinette looked around quickly, to make sure no one was watching her, and then gently poked the place where the string seemed to be. If the stories were true, only Seers could physically touch the strings. Everyone else phased through them or avoided them, as though by instinct, but the Seers could follow a string to its owner by sight and touch, and they were even capable of untying the string, releasing the bond between soulmates. That only happened rarely, Marinette remembered as she grasped the thick, red string tied around her little finger.

As it turned out, her string was soft, like it was made with fluffy wool. She touched it again, marveling at the texture under her fingertips. It felt so real! 

In front of her, Adrien shivered.

“You okay, dude? Classroom too chilly for you today?” Nino’s whisper barely reached Marinette’s ears.

Adrien hesitated and then shook his head in response as Ms. Bustier shot Nino a meaningful look. There was no escaping the teacher’s attention for students in the front row.

Marinette turned her attention back to the string for another moment before leaving it alone to at least pretend to take notes. In her sleep-deprived state, her notes usually left something to be desired (legibility, for one), and she shot a nervous glance at Alya, who caught her gaze and offered a smile and nod in return.

“I got you, girl,” she mouthed, and Marinette smiled and mouthed a sincere thank you back.

Class moved on, and Marinette lost herself in trying to pay attention, and then in the way the light from outside fell on Adrien’s hair, and then in several doodles serious notes until lunch. At that point, she decided it would be okay to sneak another peek at her soul-string, if it was still there.

It was, trailing down from her finger to a small, coiled pile on the floor between her and Adrien. Marinette traced it with her eyes as she slowly began to pack up.

Then, Adrien got up to leave, saying something to Nino about lunch at the mansion today, and the pile of Marinette’s soul-string began to unwind itself. Some of it began to follow Adrien, and Marinette jumped up in a panic. 

Her heart rate spiked as she worried about what this could mean; was this part of the hallucination? Was the universe telling her that Adrien was taking her heart away for good? That she’d never have him, but never be able to move on from him? No! She couldn’t accept that!

Marinette knew there was only one thing to do: she had to get her string back from Adrien before he stole it all away!

Alya, who was giving Marinette a concerned look, snapped in front of her face. “Girl, are you okay?” she asked, sounding worried. “What is it?”

Marinette gave Alya a serious, determined look.

“He’s taking my string away,” she declared with a frown, and Alya’s face pinched. 

“Who’s doing what? Sorry, Marinette, but what do you mean?”

Marinette began speed-walking out of the door, leaving her things at the bench. “My string is following him, but I’m not gonna let him steal it from me!” she exclaimed, and hurried off in the direction of her string. She stared intently at the ground, watching as the string tangled and weaved through a mess of other ones. She couldn’t let it escape her sight!

Alya sighed and stayed behind. “Oh, no, don’t worry. I’ll get your stuff for you, Marinette!” she called. “And then you’re taking a nice long nap,” she muttered. Marinette ignored her as she hurried along until she caught up with the culprit, the thief of her treasured string.

Stopping in front of him, Marinette posed dramatically, sticking her hand out and demanding, “Adrien, give me my string back!”

The students in the hallway muttered to each other as Adrien stared at her with a completely perplexed look on his face.

“Give you what? Marinette, what’s going on?” he asked, sounding concerned. “Is everything okay?”

Marinette frowned, and her face went red in the usual fashion even as she stuttered out her defense. She couldn’t let herself be distracted by a pretty face, even if it was Adrien’s!

“String, you keep, uh, thief, uh, give it back!”  She launched herself toward the string, grabbing it and pulling until she reached some invisible knot near Adrien’s finger. He flinched in response, looking hurt and surprised.

Nino, who was standing beside Adrien, looking confused, suddenly lit up. He reached out, stopping Marinette before she could untie the string and take it back.

“Marinette, wait! You said Adrien has your string?”

Marinette paused, looking at Nino suspiciously.

“Yes,” she said slowly. “He’s stealing it; I saw it follow him when he left class!”

Nino nodded, furrowing his brows as he came up with a response. “So, is the string still attached to your finger, too?”

Marinette blinked. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of checking!

She peered down at her own hand, stepping back from Adrien as she did so, and noticed a familiar red string still tied around her finger.

“Yes,” she answered as the gears in her head began spinning, “Yes, it is.”

Adrien choked, and Nino nodded, relaxing. “Cool. So, dude, it sounds like Adrien’s not stealing it, then, right? Since it’s tying you two together,” he said, elbowing Adrien with a small grin.

Adrien’s face turned bright pink. “Nino,” he hissed, looking embarrassed. Nino kept going, though.

“And if it’s your string, and it’s still attached to you, and it’s attached to Adrien, then that sounds like a soul-string to me. This must mean you guys are soulmates!”

Marinette stared at Nino, then at Adrien, and then at the red string still connecting her finger to Adrien’s.

“Oh, no,” she whimpered, the horror of what she’d almost done hitting her. She’d almost untied the string binding her soul to Adrien’s! What kind of half-rate, half-witted Seer was she? “Oh, no, Adrien, I’m so sorry! I—” 

Just then, Alya came out of the classroom, walking up behind Marinette and offering her the backpack she’d forgotten inside. 

“Girl, you are a mess today! Are you sure you— wait. What’s going on?”

Alya looked around at the huddle of students in the hall, who were still staring at Marinette, Nino, and Adrien.

It was all a little too much for Marinette, who’d had a very long day for someone who hadn’t gotten any sleep that past night.

She reached out and grabbed the bag from Alya. “Thanks-see-you-later-bye!”

Before anyone could say anything (before she could embarrass herself further), Marinette took off running towards her home.

It was, without a doubt, the worst morning of her life.

__*__*__*__*__

Finding out who her soulmate was by trying to untie the string binding them together was possibly the most embarrassing thing that had happened to her, Marinette reflected. It hadn’t even been the weirdest thing she’d done — jumping into a dinosaur’s mouth was definitely higher on that list — but she knew the morning’s events would be featuring in her nightmares for years.

She’d almost rejected Adrien, her true love, as her soulmate— by accident, but still! It was hard to fathom a more awkward situation.

Still, after a short lunch and a semi-refreshing nap, she shouldered her backpack and headed back to afternoon class, full of resolve. She couldn’t run away from the mess she’d made! She had to make sure Adrien knew she wasn’t upset that they were soulmates, and that she hadn’t meant to hurt him earlier.

She’d only tell him the color of their string if he wanted her to, though. After all, just finding your soulmate was a big enough occurrence; being told whether the soul bond was romantic or platonic might be too much to find out in one day, especially considering how the reveal had happened.

Marinette hoped Adrien hadn’t decided to stay home to avoid her after what she’d done. He’d seemed pretty overwhelmed by her sudden attack on the soul-string earlier, but not unhappy when Nino had figured out that Marinette and Adrien were soulmates, so maybe that was a good sign. He had seemed really embarrassed, though, about as much as she’d been, herself, so maybe he’d choose to stay home, after all. Goodness knew his father would be only too happy to keep him there.

She didn’t have to worry, though; as she walked onto the school campus, Marinette could already see Adrien standing by the stairs. He looked nervous, she noticed as she walked closer, and if she concentrated, she could feel a kind of tension in their soul-string. She swallowed, mustered up a smile, and waved somewhat awkwardly as she approached him.

Marinette paused there, not quite sure what to do or say, and her eyes flitted over to Nino, who was standing beside his friend again, in hopes of some hint or encouragement. Before Nino could react, though, Adrien stepped forward. He opened his mouth, but hesitated, flushing, and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand.

Then Marinette felt a slight push at her side from inside her purse. Tikki had encouraged her to tell the truth earlier, at home, and she knew the little kwami was counting on her to set things right.

So, Marinette mustered up all her courage and reached out for Adrien’s hand, the one with the string attached to it. Adrien looked up sharply, nervous and hopeful at the same time, if the emotions Marinette could lightly sense through their soul-string were correct.

“Hi, Adrien,” she said, smiling lightly as she shook his hand as if to introduce herself. “I’m Marinette, and it’s nice to finally meet you, soulmate.”

A brilliant smile broke out on Adrien’s face, and he pulled her into a hug as their classmates cheered around them. Marinette felt her face heat up, but the butterflies she felt in her stomach were happy ones, for once. After a long moment, Adrien finally stepped back, and Marinette noticed that his face was a bit pink, and it looked like he was crying. A spike of alarm shot through her, and she gripped his hands tightly.

“Are you okay?” she asked, feeling worried.

He squeezed her hands back, and Marinette felt a powerful thrum run through their soul-string. 

“I’m more than okay, Marinette,” he told her, “I’m just so happy! You’re not upset you’re my soulmate?”

Marinette’s face hardened. “Never,” she vowed. “I could never be upset about that, Adrien! I’m glad you’re my soulmate.”

Adrien wiped a tear away from his eye, smiling. “This is the best day of my life,” he choked out.

Nino grinned and clapped his back. “I’m really happy for you, dude,” he said, and Alya, who’d come to stand by him and was holding her phone suspiciously like she did to take pictures of the heroes, nodded in excited agreement.

“I feel like a proud mother duck watching my babies swim for the first time,” she joked. “We need a better picture. Pick a pose, sunshines!”

Adrien’s eyes widened, and he hastily dried the rest of his tears away. “A picture? I can’t even think of any poses right now, I’m too excited!”

Alya hummed. “The model can’t think of any poses? Well, that’s fine, I can! How about you dance with him, Marinette? Use up that excited energy before you have to sit still in class!”

Marinette flushed, looking up at Adrien. “A-are you sure, Alya? I can’t even dance, not really, I’m so clumsy!”

“You weren’t clumsy at Chloe’s party, Marinette,” Adrien said shyly. “I thought you were perfect.”

He offered his hands to her, smiling shyly, and she slowly reached out to take them. Nino pressed a button on his phone, and the two of them began swaying to the gentle beat of the music that started to play.

Alya exclaimed and cooed over them, and as the final minutes before class ticked away, Marinette relaxed as she and Adrien began dancing more naturally. She fell into the lead almost by accident, and Adrien grinned up at her as she dipped him while the music swelled. 

“Got your perfect picture, Alya?” she asked with a cocky smile as she spun Adrien around one more time.

“I think I do,” Alya confirmed, grinning at the two soulmates. “Should we head into class? I’m sure Nino can trade Marinette seats so you lovebirds can sit together.”

Adrien blushed and Marinette stuttered, but in the end, they slid into the first row together happily, smiling so brightly that even Ms. Mendeleiev seemed affected by the adorable scene, not mentioning the fact that they were a few seconds late to class the way she usually would. 

As she sat in class, Marinette reflected on her crazy day. She’d gone to school after pulling an all-nighter, discovered her soulmate, almost untied their soul-string, and gone back to school and made it up to him. And her soulmate really was Adrien! Her day could hardly get any better, and now she realized that maybe the universe had been sending her a sign, after all.

If another Seer was going to find out her identity because of the soul-strings, it had probably happened by now. She was no more at risk than she’d ever been, and she’d have to get used to the new feeling of freedom and fear that knowledge brought.

But it was a good feeling overall, a really good one. Maybe she’d even offer to find Chat Noir’s soulmate for him and spread the joy she felt over to him, too! Marinette smiled at the thought of her partner gushing about his new-found soulmate to her. He’d be so happy when he found out about hers, too!

For now, though, she was happy just sitting next to her soulmate, holding hands under the table and taking pride in the happiness radiating from his end of the string. Today had been a good day, after all! 

#and yes the title is inspired by 'follow the yellow brick road' XD #adrinetteapril2024 #ml fanfic #soulmates #adrinette #lovesquare #rosie-b writing #crack and fluff

[semicolonsspace]

Dark! Bodyguard! Mitch Rapp

Warnings: Bodyguard! Mitch, Bratty reader, Diagnosis(Autism, ADHD, anxiety, and depression) Talk of Spiders, Somoniphilia, bondage, multiple orgasms, cunnilingus, nicknames(little one, darling, princess, Angel, dollface)

Disclaimer: I'm autistic and this character represents me :>

Yet again, Y/n was trying to escape. She was currently on her balcony trying to climb over her railing. Mitch heard the shuffling and ran into her room searching for her. It was past her assigned bedtime. Her parents repeatedly told him that she needed to stay in her room and NOT go outside and search for Spiders.

His hands find her hips lifting her effortlessly. He walks through the doors, shuts them, and throws her on her bed, reminding her of the numerous smut books she's read. She screams with a smile on her face. Mitch loved it when she smiled like that. She looked angelic. So happy, the girl made her.

He gave her a stern look before it broke into an amused one. "It's passed your bedtime, Little One." She wanted his voice to be innocent, but it didn't sound like it to her. Maybe to others but it was just them, so, was it really innocent?

"Your spiders are sleeping, you can search tomorrow," he scolds her, his hand on his hip. "During the day," Mitch adds.

Y/n pouts and crosses her arms. She moves and sits on her bottom, her knees bent, her legs resting by her sides. "I don't have a bedtime! And my spiders are Nocturnal! I want to see the night spiders! Not the Day spiders!"

Now she was just acting childish. Spoiled even. But she couldn't just get everything she wanted. Mitch should teach her that... Even if it was very tempting to do so. Even tempting to spank her bottom for being such a brat and escaping the previous night. He was infuriated when he heard her successfully escape through the hallway bathroom window. She used that one because the bathroom in her room had no windows.

Her parents, The Hales were smart for that one. He silently thanked them in his mind when he first had a tour of their house. He also thanked him mentally for receiving all her information in a file on a given work phone. He was surprised at her background, to say the least. She had extreme PTSD when it came to being alone, the last time being when her ex-family member broke in and used her as a punching bag because he resented her. Resent her and ruining the family picture with her diagnosis. But really he did that by doing that.

Aside from that, he didn't really wasn't bothered about the other diagnosis that she had. Autism- She would sometimes become upset with certain clothing and tear them off, so he made a mental note to ask if she was comfortable with the clothing before starting the day. Anxiety- he understood and would help if he saw anything that gave him signs of it. Depression- he would make sure she's happy. Lastly, Insomnia- She had a set schedule she liked to abide to- aside from her bedtime. She despised sleeping during the night because that was when she was most vulnerable. So, he reassured her that during the night he would be in her room to keep watch. So she can sleep.

Y/n stumbles to her walk-in closet. He gets the hint so he turns around to give her privacy. Once she saw it was safe she instantly grabbed a sleep shirt which was an oversized shirt that framed her curvy hips.

Y/n thought to him scolding her. She loved it. He looked so hot, the reason why she was so bratty at times... From the constant scolding of Mitch, she still didn't hate him. She knew he was just doing his job. She thought about it logically. She would do the same if she were him.

Pulling herself out of her thoughts she sat on her bed. She shoved her legs under her sheets and sighed with contentment. She spread her legs repeatedly under the covers to feel the nice satin on her skin. She loved her satin sheets. She grabbed her laptop, placed it in her lap, and began typing away on the book she had been working on for a bit.

Mitch stalked toward her and took a peek at her screen. She situated it so he couldn't see. "Privacy! You would not like to know what I'm writing."

It only intrigued Mitch more but he left it that. He took out his phone and checked the time. "It's 11: 47..." He puts his phone into his pocket once more. "Past your bedtime- wrap it up, darling," He gestured to her laptop. She blushed hard at the new nickname and typed a bit more, probably summarizing what she wanted to happen for her future self to write. She snapped it shut and handed it to him. He gracefully took it and put it on her desk across the room and put it on charge for her.

She watched him do so, smiling to herself as he bent don't to grab the cable cord. "You have a nice bottom," Y/n whispers bluntly. Oh, but he heard her. He quickly turned and stared at her with an open mouth.

It took a second to recover. "Go to sleep, Princess," he said as his brows raised emphasizing she needed to sleep. If only she could crawl out of her covers to grab that laptop to write what she just thought of... Then he was standing in front of her, swiping a strand of hair out of her face. It fell back into her face and she blew it out of her face completely. Ironically, it looked like she was from a cartoon. His hand stays in her hair, falling to her face to cup her chin with his thumb, and then he repeats himself.

She leans into his touch, Contrary to popular belief, autistics hate physical contact but she adored it. She loved simple actions like finger-holding, arm clinging, hugging, and cuddling. Kissing freaked her out a bit but she was sure with the right person she would love it just as much.

Then he walked away like nothing happened. Like he hadn't just cupped her face so tenderly. Like he hadn't stared into her doe eyes so lovingly. Like he hadn't glanced at her lips while holding her pretty face.

Then she flips over on her bed, stripping herself from her shirt under the covers, and throws it. She didn't know where. Nor did she care. Mitch watched her and practically choked on his spit when it landed at his feet. "I guess she didn't like the texture," He thought to himself. He grabbed a book from her shelf and began reading. He became shocked when the first page was a full warning page of triggers. He quickly put it back.

"Yeah, don't grab from that shelf. It's filled with smut. Go for the other, it's more educational," She laughed as her eyes found him with a red face in her corner. He nodded and grabbed another book, a book on night crawlers. She smiled at the book choice.

Mitch stares at her sleeping form. He was in the lovesac like he had been for an hour. She's been asleep for about 20 minutes. She was now whimpering in her sleep, she normally did this. But tonight? It sounded a little needier. Her hips proved that by grinding against her body pillow she was cuddling. Her light grey sheets were lower than they were when she started to sleep. They rested on her bottom, only covering her bottom half. His eyes trailed her back, examining the scars he could make out. From what he could make out was a lightning bolt tattoo that littered her back covering joining the scars.

He stayed on the lovesac, his legs manspreading as his hands rested on his knees. He found her resting form so peaceful looking. Like she wasn't scared of anything. But he knew she wasn't that peaceful because even in her sleep she was prone to attempt to escape. She tried on his first night of being her bodyguard. He took immediate action and comforted her on the floor, holding her while she calmed down from a panic attack. Ever since that night, she was benign to him, going easy on him compared to testing him like she had done on the first day.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when she kicked the covers off of her body. Her body snuggled into the pillow, appreciating the cool air against her legs. After a few seconds, her hips wiggled against the pillow, perfectly grinding against her mound.

To him, that sight was impure. Everything he wanted to see and not see. He pulled himself up, going against his urges to not touch her body. And he doesn't. Yet.

He gulps, and covers her back up, silently wishing to himself that she wouldn't kick it back off. And she does, instantly when the sheets touched her arms. He leaned in to look at her, checking if she was awake or not. His hand touched her forehead, then cupped her face and slowly moved to her shoulder. He takes a deep breath, trying his best to control himself over his sleeping client. She looked so sexy lying there... The image of her body grinding against her pillow popped up in my mind. Replaying it over and over. Was she having a wet dream?

Before he could answer himself he was pulled down by her holding his arms. She gruntles in her sleep and tugs on his arm, he falls into her bed but he catches himself. As he falls her legs wrap around his waist, locking him in place. This is wrong. So wrong. But her body against his felt so good. He could feel her breast against his chest, her breath on his neck, her delicate hands on his waist, holding him.

He sighs giving in and wraps his arms around her curvy form. He covers the both of them up, only with the sheets not wanting her to get too warm. "There," he whispers, mostly for himself. This was not what he expected when he took this job- But, at the moment, he was not going to complain. His warm calloused hands roamed her back, his fingertips trailing the scars along her back. Gosh, he could kill that bitch that harmed his little Angel...Did he just say that? His angel? He didn't care- she was his.

She moans in her sleep, breathy and husky with sleep. Her hands tighten around his shirt, grasping it like she wanted him closer. Her hips now ground into his hips and he stilled. He stiffened, his body and his cock. He could feel the blood rushing to it, hardening under her warmth need rubbing against his dick. "Mitchie... Please," she moans, her breathy moan tickling his neck. The hair on the back of his neck raised, goosebumps littering his whole body.

He bit back a satisfied moan and looked down over her shoulder at her hips moving under the sheet. He shouldn't be allowing this. He shouldn't- He didn't care. He wanted this.

His hands fall to her hips, helping her grind against him. His pants were so tight, that every movement caused painful pleasure to strike through him. Like it was intruding every nerve of his body. His mind was blank besides the pleasure and her sinful-looking body.

His lips planted a kiss on her shoulder, testing the waters. She breathily moaned. So, he kissed again, this time on her neck. This time it emits a loud satisfied moan. So loud he thought it woke her up. But it didn't. He was glad that it didn't, he wanted to enjoy this moment more.

Her body shakes as she orgasms against him. He doesn't let her hips stop, forcing them to continue against his clothed-hardened dick. As she finishes, he holds her up by the back of her neck, slowly leaning her back to get a better view. Her mouth was open and her eyes were closed. Her breasts were perky, and resting in front of his face. He leans in, giving one a kiss, his eyes watching her face so he would know if she was about to wake up. His tongue swirls around her hardened nipple, sucking softly as his lips closed around the areolae. His hands now massaged her hip softly, still going along with her movements. He was about to cum in his pants- He hasn't done that since he was a horny teenager. That was a full generation ago.

"Oh my gosh, angel- You feel so good," He moans softly. He couldn't help but praise her, even when she was unconscious. Her body seemed to react to the praise, her hips grinding harder. That was when he realized she was awake. He stammers, attempting to explain himself. But she cuts him off as she kisses his neck, licking and sucking the heated flesh.

"Tell me later," She moans, biting the area she just kissed. He groans hard at her teeth, never expecting her to be so harsh. He loved it.

"Fuck, Princess. You're going to give me a heart attack." He could hear his heart in his head, it was thumping, racing so loud. It almost vibrated his skull.

"You should have thought about earlier," She retorted with a click of her tongue. The click was loud like it was pulled off from the suction.

Y/n palmed his dick under her hips, grabbing it and massaging his length. He doubled over, his head resting on her shoulder. His left hand rested on the small of her back. "Do you want to continue you this, Mr. Rapp?" She asks sheepily. He nods into her shoulder, his right hand stopping hers. He lifts her with ease, placing her down once he stands.

"Since all you do is write... You should write this." He swiftly removed his belt with one hand, quickly maneuvering it around her hands as makeshift handcuffs. He tugged on it, checking if it was secure around her wrist. "Not too tight?" She asks, his eyes landing on her blown-out eyes. She nods, biting her lip with a small smirk.

That smirk was wiped off when he pulled her legs to the edge of the bed. His face was right in front of her mound. "Say you don't want this and I'll stop..." He leaves a few kisses on her inner thigh, slowly trailing to her covered pussy. Once he gets close he goes to the other thigh. "I swear I will." He looks into her eyes, giving her the most mind-numbing sight of the night. "Please let me have a taste, angel," He begged. He fucking need to. He wants to taste her juices. Even tasting her after they've finished. He hasn't eaten since dinner and that was almost 7 hours ago. He's starving for some desert.

She swore her heart stopped when he asked that. This was like straight out of a book... Gosh, when did Mitch get so hot? Her bonded hands attempt to pull her panties down but he smacks her hands lightly. "Let me," He growls, then begins pulling them down with his teeth. Once they were down at her thighs his hands removed them swiftly. Then they spread her apart, the flat of his tongue taking a long slow lick at her cunt. His tongue wiggles into her folds, collecting all of her release from earlier. He groans at it, the vibrations traveling to her clit. "I'm going to need more of this, angel," He murmurs before he continues lapping against her clit. "Taste' like honey." He then rises and pulls her into their first kiss. She groans, not expecting it to be like this. She did taste sweet, his tongue played with hers before he moved back down to play with her little button.

His hands rubbed up and down her thighs, as he ate her out. Her bound hands playing with his hair. The restriction of her hands pulled her breasts together, giving him the best sight ever. He was so hard it was begging to break free, already passed dripping precum.

"Mitch, please," she tried to breathe but her lungs were moving too fast. He got the hint, knowing well enough she was about to release on his face. And she does, she squirted all over his face; The liquid dripped from his face as he continues to tongue fuck her hole as his thumb rubbed her clit. She screams, letting her pleasure take over her form. Her body shakes, her thighs closing on his head like earmuffs.

After a bit, he pulls up and hungrily kisses her. But the kiss was slow somehow, wanting her to feel everything. Wanted her to taste her release more. He didn't want this quick. He wanted to drag it out as long as possible. He wanted a book, not a flimsy page.

His hands roamed her naked body, feeling all the imperfections that were viewed as perfections. It was like she was created by the gods. Hell, she was a goddess to him. He wanted to get on his knees in all different forms when he saw her file. He immediately asked to be her bodyguard. He wanted her to be his. He wanted to take her. And now, after just a few weeks he was able to.

"I need you, angel, I need you to say you're mine." Her hands fumbled with his pants, wanting to free his member. "Say it," he growled.

"I'm yours, Mr. Rapp!" she screams. He then flips her, her ass in the air. She didn't see him when she looked over her shoulder. But he felt her. He was lapping at her pussy again. Just when she thought he was going to eat her out again, she heard shuffling. He stripped himself of his boots first, the thumb being heard when he threw it near the lovesac he sat at earlier. Then quickly removing his clothes, he left his boxers on and pressed his hips against her. His clothed dick rested perfectly between her slit. "Do you feel that," He groans as he grabs her hips and pulls them to his. "Do you feel what you do to me?"

She wiggles her hips. "It's hard not to when your cock is pressed against my minge," She made sure she sounded sarcastic with her tone, wanting to make sure she was talking back.

He gave a dark chuckle as he kicked his boxers off. "I love it when you're bratty." His body leaned, pressing against her as he unbuckled his belt. He rubs her wrists, kissing them before separating them on each side. He held her hands down on the bed as his dick pressed against her entrance. "Do you want this? Do you want my cock to stretch you out?" She nods a yes, whimpering and pushing her hips back.

When it enters, it enters completely. He slowly moved inside her, not caring that the stretch was too much for her. It felt too good. For both of them. His thrust slowly became faster, fucking her with a medium rhythm.

Y/n's moans were all over the place, screaming then needy. Once he angles his cock to hit that delectable spot she was back to screaming. "That's right, dollface; Scream for me," he growls into her ear. He then plants a small kiss under her ear, telling her she is so good for him. "S'good; Taking your bodyguard's cock so well."

His trust get harder, now his hips were slapping her clit with each thrust. Her head shakes from side to side as the pleasure is too much. She wanted more.

Her body from her previous orgasms made her so sensitive. Especially her most recent one. But yet all she wanted was more. More pleasure against her craved sensitive body.

She could do was take his dick repeatedly. Her arms were pinned with one of his hands and the other held her hip to force it down and to stop it from squirming.

"My pretty angel, so pretty," he groans. He kisses her wet cheek. Somewhere along the way she had started crying from the amount of pleasure. This didn't stop him, only turned him on even more.

"Mitch," she gasps loudly. Her back arches due to the upcoming climax and she forcefully belches her orgasm around him. He chuckled darkly and slowed down her thrust to tease her and her eyes rolled back because it felt better for her.

He could sense his release appearing soon. "You want me to cum inside?" He wanted to go inside but her knew better to do that. Y/n shakes her head in a panic. He hums I'm response and kisses her cheek to reassure her. The rubber in his stomach then lets go in his stomach as he pulls out and cums all over her stomach. Some of his elixirs landed on her tits and he just doubles over and licks it off.

"Instead of spiders I think I might want to study this," she hums appreciatively pointing to his semi-hard length. He smirks. "Come here," she purrs. He obeys and leans down. Her hand grasps his cock and starts rubbing it as he hovered over her. She teases the tip, her finger gliding back and forth over the red needy bump. From time to time her finger would play along the slit and he would shudder as he tried to keep his eyes open to stare into her alluring eyes. "Doing s'good for me," she mocks playfully. "My Mr. Rapp is so handsome," she whispers. He shudders again and nods as his dick starts to twitch in her hand. "Love my bodyguard's cock, so fucking big," she moans before he cums again. He cums with a loud primal growl as his cum close and covers hers body once more.

#dylan o'brien #dylan o'brien smut #dylan obrien #dylan obrien smut #mitch rapp x reader #mitch rapp smut #mitch rapp x reader smut #mitch rapp #american assassin #bodyguard #Bodyguard!mitch rapp

[thurio-edau]

SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS

first of all, I should explain what I am going to do. starting with Ashlyn, I'll analyze and/or theorize the group. because there is a lot of depth to all their characters and I've really been wanting to do this for some time. it will be a total of 5 posts instead of 6, because I will be analyzing Tyler and Taylor together due to obvious reasons. I will also cut them at the beginning because they might be long and also there will be triggers.

Part 1: Ashlyn Banner

I'm starting with Ashlyn right here as the protagonist and the leader of the series. Ashlyn's probably won't be very long since this is not a character analysis and instead, a mental characteristic analysis. even though her character is written so well that doesn't mean she has to be mentally sick, since she seems to be... well the most stable one -until the recent chapters-

what I'll be starting off with, will be autism. even though it's not confirmed fully in canon, Red herself said that she wrote Ashlyn with autism in mind so in this analysis I'll mostly go through with the symptoms she shows and how it explains her character.

her most obvious and constantly repeated symptom is her sensory issues. she is able to hear phantom noises and other things no one can hear due to her hypersensitive hearing.

from the beginning of the series, she has been repeatedly struggling with loud noises even though she wore earplugs or noise-cancellation headphones. Ashlyn herself said that she didn't want to make friends growing up, one of the reasons being her sensitive hearing allowing her to hear everything. you'd also probably be wary of things like it if you had her hearing; any gossip, talking behind backs, rumours etc. would not be pleasant to hear and you'd be aware of everyone's true side.

the group understands her problems with her hearing being too strong, and looks after her whenever there's anything loud. which was first seen at the arcade if I'm correct, Taylor asked her if she'd be alright and Aiden got punched in the face while he was worried about her.

or the time Taylor and Logan were shooting at the centipede phantom, due to the bullets making extremely loud sounds for her. or in the facility, when Logan told her to cover her ears to take down a phantom.

from the moment she was born, she had always been sensitive to any loud sounds. reminding here that autism is a neurodivergency, which means someone's brain is diverse than most other who we call neurotypicals. autism, ADHD, bipolar etc. are neurodivergencies that cannot be obtained later in life, and has always been at the person's brain.

I see myself in her frequently, I also wear earplugs constantly and my friends are aware of the sensory issues I have. her reactions to said sensory issues are written really realistic and correctly.

next, boundaries and distancing.

once again, since the beginning, Ashlyn has been distancing herself from everyone around her. this part will mostly include Aiden due to him not understanding boundaries and having passed Ashlyn's lots of times.

autistic people tend to avoid eye contact, physical touch -if the person is not very close to them- and also usually not very expressive. for the love of god, the first time we see her geniunely smile is halfway through the series, when they get the car keys. the group's reaction to her smile is hilarious, even.

after the events of that night, Aiden is trying to understand her boundaries. he's an affectionate/caring person inside, and wants to hug her but keeps it low by just holding her head.

here we learn he did, indeed, hug her when he kept her from falling and Ashlyn even allowed it when she realized how scared he was for her.

despite keeping her boundaries always high, she let it happen this time, learning how to open up to people. before this night she was always on guard

by time she starts to see them as her actual friends, like the found family they are. autistic people are similar to cats actually, like those stray cats that will claw you instantly if you look at their eyes for long or make sudden moves to pet them. the cat sniffs your hand first, you feed it for some time, then a slight touch. the cat gets used to you after your own efforts to get close to it. Ashlyn is a similar case, she had to almost die to get used to them and accept them.

next, special interests. this part is a bit short but I feel as if it still counts to be honest.

ever since her childhood, she's been very interested in dancing. losing track of time as she does, not being interested in any other things if it wasn't related to ballet, making it a very important part of herself. her love for dance/ballet made her not take any interest in anything else like her self-defense classes her parents tried to give, and they were really surprised once she asked them to do it this time.

like cmon she has a literal dance mat on her room

which basically wraps the main symptoms! I can't really think of any detail symptoms for now because it's midnight here but I'm thinking of updating them each time I get more ideas. for the next part, mental disorders.

personally, I must say that I don't think she suffers from any mental disorders or illnesses. she's not depressive, just closed off. you might ask anxiety but she herself had said she isn't shy or nervous, she herself just doesn't like to talk a lot which is fully valid. Ashlyn hasn't showed any problems in talking in front of audiences, she isn't paranoid -her hypersensitive hearing doesn't count since it's not paranoia; she knows what's in there because she hears- and seems to be mentally more stable than the rest of the group. I also don't think she has anger issues the way Ben and Tyler do, it's just that everything got on her nerves quickly before she got used to the team.

she doesn't mind being the leader of the group and definitely isn't scared, as seen as how she went up against Tyler when they first were in the phantom dimension.

Ashlyn is basically the autistic girl who doesn't like talking much and has high boundaries, but once she warms up to her friends she's willing to do anything for them as seen as the recent episodes in the facility. I'm almost fully sure that she is autistic, considering the signs she shows.

sorry if this was a bit boring! the next ones will definitely be more interesting because the rest of the characters have interesting backstories and oh boy some disorders, I just wanted to start with Ashlyn to see if I could do this the way it was in my mind. I'm sure the rest can be pretty good!

I'd like it if anyone else mentioned more stuff. next up will be Aiden, who has a plethora of characteristics and it's definitely going to be really interesting. thank you for reading so far but I won't be writing Aiden's now because hhhhhh i need some sleep

#sbg (webtoon) #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #schoolbus graveyard #ashlyn banner #sbg #sbg ashlyn #sbgblr

[morgana-larkin]

I wanna see some more love for our girl Chessy up in here, so I have a request for her. Would you be able to do a baking or cooking date with Chessy and the reader? I have a mommy kink (🫣) so I would love it if Chessy could be older (probably like her mid 30’s) and reader be a younger age (probably like mid 20’s).

They’re at the Parker household and both Hallie and Nick are out for the night, so it’s just Chessy and the reader in an established relationship (probably like 6-9 months) and Chessy finds out that the reader never learned how to cook so they just survive off of fast food. Chessy offers to teach her how to cook some spaghetti and reader accepts. So it’s just a bunch of fluffiness of Chessy and reader being adorable.

Orrrrrrrrrr (hear me out)

We could add some smut at the end if you’re down to do so. Have Chessy be a bit dom while cooking with reader and have her tug on the reader’s ponytail or call herself mommy and reader her little bunny or sum nickname like that. And then once they’re done with eating (the food) they move on to eating dessert (iykwim 🤭)

Anon, I love seeing love for Chessy too. And no need to be embarrassed ‘bout a mommy kink, most of us Lisa fans have it too lol. So I had to look up spaghetti recipes since I’m like reader and very limited cooking skills. As I’m limited to French toast and putting salmon in the oven lol. I got very distracted and bored when people tried teaching me how to cook due to my ADHD. So here it is! Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: Happy May the Fourth! Happy Star Wars Day!

Follow Directions

Warnings: smut, lots of fluff, small mommy kink

Words: 2.6k

You’re over at the Parker house, spending some much needed time with Chessy. The two of you kept running into each other at the market then decided to spend time together and quickly became friends. Then 7 months ago she asked you out on a date and you said yes right away. Chessy was a little wary about dating someone 15 years younger than her at first but since you were friends before for 6 months, she quickly got comfortable with it.

You’re both on the couch, cuddling, watching tv and making out. The Parker’s are out of town for the weekend so Chessy invited you over right away. The Parker’s have met you, about 3 months ago. When they found out that Chessy had a girlfriend they wanted to meet you to determine if you’re worthy of Chessy, to which they said you were.

Chessy pulls away from your lips and looks at you. “Hon, as much as I would love to keep kissing you, I should start on dinner.” She tells you.

“Noo, I haven’t had nearly as much kisses as I would like.” You whine and she giggles.

“Well how about you help with dinner and then you’ll have my lips back on yours quicker.” She suggests and you bite your lip and look down. “What is it?” She asked.

“Well I wouldn’t be much help, I would honestly just slow it down more.” You tell her and she quirks an eyebrow at you. “I don’t know how to cook, I usually just order out or get something I could pop in the microwave.” You admit.

“How come no one taught you how to cook?” Chessy asks, in disbelief that you don’t know how to cook.

“They tried but I was never interested and didn’t pay attention.” You told her.

“Hmm, would you be interested if I taught you?” She offers and you think about it.

“Well let’s see, being able to spend more time with you and being in close proximity to you. Ya I think it would grab my interest.” You tell her and she laughs.

“Well then come on, I’ll teach you how to make spaghetti.” She says and gets up.

“Why spaghetti?” You ask and she holds her hands out to you.

“Because it’s simple and that’s what I was going to make tonight.” She tells you as you put your hands in hers and she lifts you up.

You both go into the kitchen and she washes her hands. You wash your hands after, while she gets the ingredients out.

“Ok since you’re not used to cooking I won’t get you to cut up the onion, so I’ll get you to cut up this pepper instead.” She says to you and places a red pepper on a cutting board with a knife. You walk up and stand in front of the cutting board and look at the pepper, not knowing how to start. She looks at you confused. “You don’t know how to cut a pepper do you?” She asks and you shake your head. “Ok well first.” She starts as she picks up the knife and holds the pepper down. “You gotta cut the bottom and the head off.” She says as she cuts them off. “Then you gotta pull the middle of it out then you can rinse the pepper under water to get rid of all the seeds.” She says and hands you the pepper and you run it under water to get rid of the seeds. You bring it back and she instructs you how to cut it into little pieces. She hands you the knife and you start cutting it in pieces but she stops you. “That’s not the proper way to cut hon.” She says and stands behind you. “Here let mommy guide you.” She whispers in your ear and places her hands over yours. “You gotta cut like this baby.” She says and moves your hands to show you the proper way.

You continue to cut the peppers the way she showed you and she smiles at you. She goes and starts to cut the onion and you glance at her every once in awhile. After a minute you start to feel a sting in your eyes and you’re wondering why but you don’t say anything. Then after 30 seconds you start sniffling and your eyes are watery. You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand and you’re confused and you hear Chessy chuckle.

“Probably should have warned you hon, when cutting up onions, it stings your eyes.” She tells you and you look at her through watery eyes and can see that she’s barely affected.

“Then how come you seem fine?” You ask and she giggles.

“Cause I’m used to it.” She tells you. 30 seconds later and you stop cutting, your eyes are too watery to see and your eyes are stinging as well. You put the knife down and you wipe at your eyes again and sniffle. You didn’t see Chessy stopping and coming over to you until you feel something press against your eye and you flinch. “It’s paper towel, to wipe the tears away.” She says and you take it and wipe them off.

“How long until the onions stop stinging my eyes?” You ask.

“I’d say about 3 more minutes, I’m just about done. Just close your eyes for now.” She tells you and you nod and close your eyes. She goes back and finishes cutting up the onion in 2 minutes. She then walks over to where you are and plants a kiss on your lips. “It’s finished but give a few seconds to air out.” She tells you while wrapping her arms around your waist. After the stinging stops, you wipe your tears away and then open your eyes and you see Chessy smiling at you. “Hey beautiful.” She says and you smile back at her.

“Hi. I guess I’ll go back to cutting up the pepper.” You say and she lets you go. Chessy comes up behind you and wraps her arms around your waist again and puts her chin on your shoulder. She pulls your ponytail a bit and starts kissing your neck. “What are you doing?” You ask her.

“Just getting my taste of you.” She says slyly and pulls away when you start moaning. You give her a glare when she just goes back to having her hands around you like nothing happened.

You finish cutting up the pepper and Chessy walks over to the counter where everything is to make the sauce. You bring the pepper pieces over and she shows you how to add everything properly and then puts it on the stove to cook. She then gets you to add the spaghetti noodles in the pot and then you just have to watch over everything for a few minutes.

After 10 minutes Chessy turns the stove off and puts the noodles on the plates, then the sauce. “And there we go. That’s how you make spaghetti.” She tells you and you smile at making your first meal with Chessy.

“Wow, I can’t believe I just made spaghetti.” You say while beaming. You two sit down to eat and when you take your first bite, you beam again. “It seems to taste better.” You tell her and she smiles.

“It always tastes better if you make yourself something.” She says and you smile. You two eat the spaghetti while making conversation. After you’re done, Chessy does the dishes while you put the leftovers in containers. While Chessy is finishing the dishes, she starts a conversation with you. “So how was your cooking lesson?” She asks.

“It was good, it held my interest this time.” You tell her and she giggles.

“Maybe I’ll teach you how to make burgers next, those are quick and easy too. Have you made yourself tuna sandwiches?” She asks and you shake your head. “Seriously? That’s the easiest thing to make. You open the tin, you put it on the piece of bread and then you put another piece of bread on and you’re done.” She explains and you blush.

“I don’t know how to make anything. Well I guess I know how to make spaghetti and tuna sandwiches now.” You say and she shakes her head at you. She finishes the dishes and then dries her hands.

She walks up to you and puts her hands on your hips. “So how about we have some dessert now?” She whispers in your ear then gives a gentle bite to your ear.

“I like the sound of that.” You tell her.

“Good, because I’m craving something sweet.” She says and lifts you up with your legs and arms wrapped around her. She brings you upstairs and you start kissing her neck and she stumbles a little bit when you start sucking. She makes it to the bed and drops you on it. She straddles your hips and kisses you passionately. “Hmm, all I could think about for the past two hours is all the places I want to put my mouth on you.” She says and you can’t help but giggle. She pulls away and looks at you with a smile. “What’s got you giggling?”

“You. And the fact that you have become so addicted to sex since we started doing it a few months ago.” You tell her and you giggle again.

“Hm I think it’s more the fact that I’m addicted to you.” She tells you and of course she can’t help but tease you. “But if you don’t want to do it then…” she says as she goes to get off of you but you stop her.

“No no no no. I didn’t say that. I just found it funny and cute how addicted you became.” You backtracked and then you see her smirk and realise she was just teasing you and you fell for it. “You little shit.” You tell her and she laughs.

Before you can respond to her again, her lips are on your neck, kissing and sucking. She knows your body well by now, she knows what gets you going and what turns you off. She then goes for your shirt and takes it off quickly so she can return her lips to your skin as fast as possible. She then moves her lips down to your chest and sucks the skin there too, always wanting to mark so people know you’re taken. She then quickly unclips your bra and pulls it off so her lips can explore more of you. She pushes you back and you fall back on your back and she dives down and puts a nipple in her mouth, and instantly sucks and licks it. You start to buck your hips and she knows you’re gonna start begging any second now. She switches to the other nipple and it pulls a moan from you. You go to reach for her and pull her shirt off but she pins your hands down.

“I want to touch you.” You whine out and she smiles and pulls back from your nipple.

“Oh I know my pretty girl.” She says and purrs a bit as she touches all over your chest and stomach.

“So why can’t I touch you?” You ask her and smirks at you.

“Because I haven’t determined if you earned it yet.” She says so casually.

“But I obeyed you during the cooking lesson.” You pouted.

“Hmm, I guess you have a point there baby.” She told you then started unbuttoning her shirt, slowly. She undid the last button then took if off while watching your reaction the whole time. She loved your reactions to her body, she knows she might not be the prettiest girl in the world, but you make her feel like she is. You stared at her undressing in front of you, almost drooling when she was halfway done the buttons. When she took her shirt off, you immediately put your hands on her stomach and started touching her all over, you whined when the bra got in the way. She giggled and effortlessly unclipped her bra and took it off. She pushed you back down when you went to sit up to put them in your mouth and let out a whine and pout. You went and grabbed them but she pinned your hands above your head. However when pinning your hands, it got her chest to be. Right above your head and her boobs were right there and you lifted your head a bit and was able to suck on a nipple. She gasped and looked at you with her mouth hanging open. “Oh baby, hmm, I guess I’ll let you continue since you tried so hard and your mouth feels so good.” She says and you smile.

She started grinding her hips on you as you started sucking her nipples just how she likes the best. When she pulled back after you sucked the second nipple, she got off the bed and took your pants off. She got a surge of confidence when she saw a patch of wetness on your underwear before taking them off as well. She got on her knees and kissed your thighs before pressing a kiss to your clit and you bucked your hips. She dived in and licked your entrance and you moaned. On most days, she would normally take her time with your pussy but considering she’s been turned on for 2 hours, she doesn’t take her time. She goes right to your clit and starts licking and sucking on it and only stops when you’re right about to come. She pulls back and you look at her shocked.

“Don’t look at me like that. I want to make sure I fuck you good baby.” She says. She goes to her nightstand and pulls out a dildo and strap. She takes her pants and underwear off and then slides the strap on before putting the dildo in it. Once secure, she goes between your legs, grabs your hips, and slowly slides it in your entrance.

You gasp as she slides in more. When she’s in fully, she moans as the dildo hits her clit. She slides it in and out of you, slowly at first then picks up speed.

After about a minute of her pounding into you she starts rubbing your clit as she’s getting close to coming. When you start showing signs of being close, she leans over you and you immediately put your hands on her back and dig your nails in her skin a bit. Chessy knows you prefer to touch her when you’re close, a way to handle the stimulation.

“Go on baby, come for me.” Chessy tells you, knowing you’re just about too. Lo and behold, you come just after she says it. Seeing you come sends her right over the edge herself and then she carefully pulls out of you. She makes quick work in clearing you both up, she then takes the strap off, and climbs into bed with you and cuddles you.

“Thank you for the cooking lesson, and the sex.” You tell her after your body stopped shaking and she giggles.

“Of course hun, I can’t let my girl go starving, in both ways.” She tells you and you chuckle. She holds you tighter to her body, not wanting to ever let you go.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

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@sexysapphicshopowner

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Let me know if you want to be added!

#chessy x reader #chessy #x reader #fanfic #the parent trap

[alexaloraetheris]

I juat remembered the day, about two months ago, when I went to renew my perscription and ended up derailed by some kind of divine influence that really, really wanted my help. 😂

So I have an appointment at 9. First thing I do is sleep in because my alarm simply did not ring. First time that happened. I cursed out the damn phone and ordered a taxi, which I had specifically hoping to avoid because of the traffic congestion.

My driver is a woman a bit older than me, and she's in a good mood so we chat. She told me she was thinking of moving to [city on the coast] because taxi drivers are paid better there, and I tell her I have family there, we comment on what it's like to drive in a city essentially built into three hills and a cliff. She mentiones she has scoliosis, and it sometimes impacts her ability to sit in a car for long periods of time. I had scoliosis as well, but I had managed to fix it with exercises almost completely so I recommended my physical therapist, and assured her it's not too late, because some of the people in my therapy group were even older than her. When she let me off she thanked me for the help.

Feeling good that, even if I had to pay out the nose for the ride, I got there in time and even managed to do a good deed. I rush in, tell the reception guy I'm here to see my doctor and settle in to wait.

Two hours later, I see people being called in but not my name. I ask why, and doctor looks at me blankly and says I'm not in the system. I have to tell the reception I've arrived so I show up on his schedule.

I'm mentally cursing out the entire hospital, but I wasn't raised by wolves. I thank the doctor, politely tell the different receptionist that the last guy probably didn't hear me when I told him my appointment, got added in and went back to wait.

Ten minutes later, a visibly nervous girl with freshly printed papers sits in the waiting room. I'm in a bit of a mood, but I'm also a firm believer in helping if I can. I paste on a smile and ask 'First time?' and she admits she just got sent here for a potential ADHD diagnosis and she had no idea what to do. Having been there and knowing exactly how hard it was to do it on your own, I gave her the number of the psychologist who made my diagnosis, assured her that the psychiatrist she was here to see is the same one I have and that he's a good guy, explained what ADHD actually was and how the meds work. She was neraly crying with relief by the time I was done, and I promised she could send me questions if she needs to.

I finally, finally go in for my appointment in a slightly better mood, only for my psychiatrist to tell me Concerta is no longer imported, I have to go on some other meds and for that I need my family doctor to sign off on a regular perscription instead of getting an Rx perscription from him.

This is the worst case scenario, because I do NOT want my mother, who thinks ADHD was invented by quack American psychologists to sell expensive meds to parents with unruly children, to know I have ADHD. So I mentally curse out the entire healthcare system, go to the family doctor and explain the situation, that my mother absolutely CANNOT know about my diagnosis. Even though the doctor was not aware of my diagnosis so far, she listens attentively, and we make sure that my mom can't check the insurance we're both under to see what meds I'm on or that if she checks my name in the pharmacy directory she can't see me either.

I thought I handled that situation rather well but I must have looked more worried than I thought, because the doctor admitted her high-school age granddaughter had been asking questions about psychologists and antidepressants and she had so far been dismissive. But if she really needs help, she might do the same thing I did and seek help on her own, and my doctor realized she ought to either change her attitude fast or be left in the dark while her granddaughter is struggling. So I told her which psychologist I went to when I was also a depressed high schooler and how it helped and what I would have wanted my family to keep in mind. She thanks me and hands me a new perscription and sends me on my way.

So by now I am starting to notice a pattern.

Now, I'm actually an atheist, and I have 'Culturally Catholic' as a flaw and a laundry list of Stuff(TM) I have had to unlearn, but sometimes I really wonder if Someone Up There looked at me that day and thought:

"Hmm, looks like I have three problems I can solve with one well-positioned dumbass. Time to ruin her day for the good of the world!"

I mean. Happy to help but I really hope ruining my day won't be necessary next time.

#adhd #sometimes a god coopts you for the greater good #and you do what you gotta do

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my partner to stop bringing up the fact that they're undiagnosed

Submitted: 19/04/2024

(💑♾️)

I've (18FtM) been with my partner Brit (17F) for 3 years now, we met in high school and have since graduated. In that time, I've worked with multiple professional to seek therapy and diagnosis for my multiple conditions, two of them being ADHD (combination) and Autism. Brit along with my childhood best friend were actually the first people to suggest I could be Autistic and should look into evaluation for both, not just ADHD, which I had been suspecting for a while. Obviously I was excited about my diagnosis because I am finally recognised and am able to get accommodations, talk about it outside my immediate circle of friends and accept myself without doubt that I have this.

Immediately after my diagnosis, I started to talk to Brit about how amazing it feels. And how excited I am to be able to have an explanation for a lot of my issues both growing up and currently, accommodations and other things too. Brit suspects they are likely autistic too and used to think they had ADHD before being evaluated, and it returned with a negative result. I still think they feel annoyed about, since they constantly bring up the fact that they don't think the evaluation was accurate because they lied during it to make their symptoms seem less obvious out of fear of the diagnosis at the time. They've tried to ask their mom to be evaluated for Autism, but their mum refuses to, as she has multiple reasons to not believe that they do and refuses to think anything could be wrong with her child. Brit doesn't have enough money on their own to get an evaluation (Mine cost a couple of thousands, and that was on the cheaper end). I have been talking to Brit about my diagnosis for a few days and how happy I am and every time I talk about it, they constantly bring up how lucky I am and that I don't need to brag and saying “I wonder how that feels”. At first, I tried to understand what they are going through because I get what it's like to suspect you have something but not have the resources or the doctors that can properly evaluate you, but after the 5 or 6th time it feels very degrading, invalidating and demeaning. I don't understand why they can't just be happy for me as their partner and not let it reflect on them. I've been thinking about just telling them to shut up the next time they bring it up as it's really getting on my nerves, I feel that I have the right to be happy about the diagnosis and not have to worry about upsetting my partner for whatever personal battles they have going on with them. Furthermore, I do listen to them and comfort them when they're upset about their own experience, but it feels like they're making my own experience into their own. I've been thinking of texting them that being undiagnosed doesn't mean they can invalidate my experience and that it isn't all about them, that they can just be happy for me and that it feels like shit to be happy about something that someone else is so negative about even though it has nothing to do with me. So, WIBTA if I told my partner to be quiet about not being diagnosed

#aita #am i the asshole

[sapphic-coded]

I Swear That I Don't Have A Gun

You grew up in Ohio with your father, brother, and sister. Your family was small and strange. Because of that, you were picked on relentlessly at school. Until another weird kid showed up. Her family moved in across the street from you. It wasn't long until the two of you became friends. Your friendship became the light in your life. Until it ended suddenly. Rumors followed your friend's disappearance. Russian spies. You didn't see her again until you crossed paths at work.

Series Masterlist

Natasha Romanoff x fem Reader

Warnings: Violence. Reader is a messed up assassin and did not choose her codename. Childhood trauma hanging out in the background. Minors DNI.

Word Count: 5.3k

Author's Note: When writer ADHD hits, it hits. Sorry for the wait friends. Been working on this for a comically long time. Thank you for all the love and support for this series. I love that you love this. Enjoy!

Taglist: @natsxwife @iliketozoneout @newawakening9 @natasha-1million @ilovemcuff @taliiiaasteria @alowint @yerisdumbass @natashasilverfox

Chapter Seven: You Don't Know Me

Mount Vernon, Ohio – 1993

You counted the small rocks in your black gloved hand. Neither one looked the same. All were varying shades of gray. A few were smooth and round while others were rough with sharper edges. It was the best of what you could find around the neighborhood. You looked up when you heard the sound of footsteps crunching in the snow. 

The ends of Nat’s blue hair spilled out of her dark gray knitted hat. Her black puffy jacket swallowed up most of her body. In her white gloved hands was a single stick. It wasn’t very long. Hardly more than four inches. Some pine needles still hung off of it. You watched as she approached while the chill that hung in the air after the first snowfall stabbed at your cheeks. 

“Aren’t we supposed to use a carrot?” you asked as she came to stand next to you. You were also pretty sure that you were supposed to use coal instead of rocks. 

“My mom already cut up the one we have,” Nat replied. 

You certainly didn’t have any carrots lying around at home. Your refrigerator and Nat’s were so different that it was jarring the first time you saw it. You hadn’t realized how much food one refrigerator could hold when you didn’t have to make room for your father’s weekly experiments. 

You looked at the headless snowman in front of you. You had spent the better part of the last two hours alongside Nat and her younger sister building the snowman in front of their house. The snowman’s base was large, round, and a bit lopsided. But it supported the slightly smaller packed ball of snow on top of it. You and Nat had done your best to brush off any dirt or blades of grass that stuck to the snow. Now you waited for Yelena to return with the snowman’s head. 

You heard Nat shift next to you while you stared at the empty spot where the snowman’s head will go. You wondered what kind of person this snowman would be. It was a shame when your brother told you years ago that snowmen don’t actually come to life after they are built. There’s no singing or dancing. It was as your father put it when he overheard your conversation:

“It is a byproduct of man’s lust for godhood.”

But maybe they did come to life. In secret. Perhaps at night. You read about all kinds of supposedly fake creatures coming to life in secret in your sister’s books. If it was possible, would this snowman end up being a good person or a bad one? Would the lack of a carrot make a difference? 

“Are you going somewhere?” Nat asked. 

You looked at her and found her looking across the street. You followed her gaze. Outside on your driveway was your father. The trunk of his station wagon hung open while he shoved a couple large bags into it. His back remained toward you and you hoped it would stay that way. The freshly plowed street put enough distance between him and you that you felt like you could breathe normally without him noticing. 

Your gaze landed back on Nat. “My father is attending a convention. It’s a tradition.” 

“What kind of convention?” she asked. 

You shrugged. “One for people like him.” 

He would come back giddy from talking with his fellow scholars. You knew that when he returned you and your siblings would be forced to spend at least three hours trapped at the kitchen table with nothing to eat but plenty to listen to. If something particularly interesting happened, you would definitely be trapped at the table for five hours. 

“You’re not going with him?” she asked. 

You heard the trunk of your father’s station wagon slam shut. You looked over your shoulder and watched as your father started back up the driveway. You looked at Nat and shook your head. “Kids aren’t allowed.” 

Yelena hurried around the house from the backyard carrying a mostly round snowman sized head. It was pretty impressive when she reached you guys. Since you both were taller, you and Nat carefully took the soon to be snowman head and set it on top of its cold, round body. You pushed one smooth light gray rock into the snowman’s left eye socket and then pushed a square black rock into its right. You let Yelena help you set the rest of the rocks into a wide smile. Nat pushed the stick into the middle of the snowman’s face. Then, all three of you stepped back to admire your work. 

“We should give him a name,” Yelena said. 

You tried to imagine the snowman’s rock eyes blinking. You imagined puffs of white mists slipping from between his rocky lips. You tried to imagine him with a carrot for a nose. “He looks like an Ian.” 

You heard Yelena giggle and when you looked at Nat you saw the beginnings of a smile curling her lips. 

Triskelion, Washington D.C.  – 2012

Being part of a team sucks. There are rules you have to follow. Sure, there were rules back when you were working for your father. But those rules were different. You could bend and shape them into whatever you needed. As long as the job was done, your father was content. Maybe he’d nitpick if the job got messy. But you had the freedom of choice. There were so many ways to kill people. Some days your imagination would run wild with new possibilities. You had yet to surprise a target in their bathroom and drop a toaster into their bathtub while they were bathing. Then there was the old classic you had yet to try. This idea demanded the perfect costume, but tying a target to train tracks and watching a high speed train obliterate their body into nothing more but tiny bloody chunks would be great fun. 

You loved that part of the job almost as much as you loved watching your target’s life drain from their eyes. But now that freedom is gone. You don’t get to decide how you are going to do your job. You are told. Ordered. The worst is when you’re not even allowed to kill your target. You remember the first time you were given that bizarre job. You remember how punchable your target’s face was. You remember how easy it would have been to just push the ridiculous man over the edge. No one would have known. But you couldn’t. You watched that opportunity pass you by and you wanted to scream. 

You did scream. At Rumlow. You cornered him and demanded to know why. Why did they keep fucking with your head? 

He reminded you of your role. The chains that kept you bound to these nonsensical rules. You work for SHIELD. You don’t kill targets unless SHIELD wants you to kill them. You keep to your role and you don’t raise suspicions. You live out the story Rumlow crafted for you. He found you on one of his missions. He saw your potential and peeled you up off the ground like some frozen, sick, dying, abandoned mutt. He molded you into the weapon you are now. A weapon he happily handed to SHIELD. 

You hate that story. You hate it more than the stupid suit he forces you to wear. The black tactical suit covers every inch of your body from your neck down to your feet. It had taken a while to get used to the added weight of the black body armor attached to the suit. You still don’t like it. It makes you feel as if you are a child running around with pillows tied to your chest and a foam sword in your hand. But it’s the mask that feels the most suffocating. Despite being able to hear clearly from within the black helmet, you feel cut off from the world. The black tinted visor that conceals your face is full of fancy technology that often gets in the way when you are just trying to watch your target die. You hate the stupid suit. You hate that you can’t do anything without having to wear it. The only time you can strip the stupid costume off and breathe in lungfuls of air conditioned air is in your bunk buried beneath all the levels of SHIELD and fake SHIELD and real HYDRA. 

But if you could choose, you’d stick with the stupid suit if you could craft a different story. Preferably one that didn’t include anyone molding you into anything. But that freedom is gone, and all you have is a boatload of memories to distract you from how angry you are. That anger burns deep inside you. It fuels your every step as you walk alongside Rumlow down a bright, busy hallway. You ignore all the data that blinks across the inside of your visor screen with every SHIELD agent that hurries by. In the beginning you had been curious, but now all the data was familiar and boring. Mostly low level clearance agents with spotless records because they never did anything but sit at their desks or hurry around places looking busy. 

You walk out into a large hangar and board one of the waiting Quinjets. You spy two empty seats in the cockpit and a black duffel bag resting on one of the seats in the cargo bay. Rumlow hands you a small, black flash drive. You roll your eyes despite knowing that he can’t see your face. If he let you take off the damn helmet you could read the mission briefings perfectly fine. You didn’t need to clog up your visor’s hub with all the unnecessary tidbits of information on your targets. You hate this role. 

“This one is routine,” Rumlow begins as you insert the flash drive into the slot along the backside of your helmet. Almost instantly, information clogs up your interior visor screen. “Your target is Tomek Sikora. He’s an arms dealer that SHIELD has kept an eye on.” The picture of your target fills up your visor. Tall, muscular build. Short, dirty blonde hair. Blue eyes. Mid thirties. “We have good intel that he’s operating out of an abandoned storefront in Bardstown, Kentucky. His main clientele is HYDRA.” 

Your visor floods with images of your target standing with or shaking hands with other important looking men and women. A few of the faces look familiar, but the images scroll too quickly across your visor for you to be certain. 

“Your objective is to shut down Sikora’s operation,” Rumlow says. “SHIELD would prefer Sikora alive, but if you have no choice, do what is necessary.” 

The coded orders hidden behind his words brings a small hint of relief. A nice simple kill. You know that if you read more into the file scrolling across your visor that you could piece together why real HYDRA wants Sikora dead. But you don’t care. All you care about is watching your target die. All you care about at this moment is that you won’t be forced to watch your target walk away breathing. A straightforward mission is exactly what you need. Something easy. Sikora will probably put up some kind of fight. You’ll engage and end it when it feels right. 

You pull the flash drive from the slot at the back of your helmet. Your visor clears. 

“Rollins will accompany you on this mission,” Rumlow says. 

Eh. It could be wors–

“Slight change of plan.”

Both you and Rumlow turn towards the open cargo bay door. You see her clearly through your visor screen. You feel the chains of your boredom lift. That familiar energy that buzzes right beneath your skin awakens. You haven’t seen her since you put a bullet through Erik’s head. Even then, you can’t count that as your official last parting. You were buried beneath your costume. She didn’t know you were there. Because if she did, she wouldn’t have let you go like that. 

The weight of the costume you wear now feels heavier as you watch her ascend up the Quinjet’s ramp. She’s dressed in civilian clothes. You love the black, leather jacket that she wears over her red shirt. Dark denim jeans cover the length of her legs, and a gun sits in a black holster strapped to her right thigh. You’re envious of her clothes. You want to look into her wardrobe. You want to strip out of this stupid suit and wear anything else. 

“Agent Romanoff,” Rumlow greets. 

Nat. Your teeth bite into your lower lip. You know you can’t say anything. The rules of your role have been drilled into your head. You don’t speak. You only act. If anyone asks questions, Rumlow has your pathetic sob story ready to share. You know all this. You know you must comply. But you really want to say something. 

Her olive green eyes settle on you as she steps into the cargo bay. You instantly miss the recognition as she looks at you. Her eyes travel up and down the length of your body, taking in your forced getup. You want her to see right through it. You want her to say your name and rip the damn mask from your face so the chase can resume. 

“What’s the update?” Rumlow asks. 

Her attention shifts to him. “Rollins can’t make it. He’s in medical. I’m filling in.” 

Now you really really want to say something. You watch as she walks over to where the black duffel bag sits. A smile stretches across your face. You had wanted to start slow. A coffee date scheduled on a day that neither one of you needed to even think about work. But if you can’t have that, then you will happily take this. 

“That’s not necessary,” Rumlow replies. 

Your smile drops away, and you turn your head to give Rumlow the most threatening glare he will never see. He ignores you as Nat zips up her duffel bag and looks over at him. 

“I’ll get one of the other guys to fill in for Rollins,” Rumlow continues. “It’s a routine operation, and you’re needed for more Avenger missions.” 

You wonder what would happen if you punched Rumlow in the face. If you swing hard enough, there is a good chance you could knock him out. That would give you a couple seconds to say something to Nat before all hell breaks loose. You’d definitely apologize for the stupid thing you said before. And if Rumlow didn’t go down in one punch, you could always follow it up with a solid kick. 

“Fury disagrees,” Nat replies. 

The name sparks two recent memories of the Director of SHIELD. Both memories consisted of you standing in this stupid suit and staring at the bald man with an eyepatch while he interrogated Rumlow about you. You played the part of a lost puppy well enough despite wanting to smash your head into the closest wall. 

“Besides,” Nat looks first at you and then back to Rumlow, “I’ve been dying to meet your new sidekick.” 

Oh god. That one hurt. 

“They’re not much of a talker,” Rumlow says. 

You have so much to say. 

“We’ll figure it out,” Nat replies. 

Rumlow shakes his head, but finally relents. He looks at you. “Stay focused. I expect results.” 

You watch as he steps out of the cargo bay and descends down the jet’s ramp. For a moment, you can’t believe your luck. You thought that Rumlow would have done just about anything to rip you away from Nat. He had made sure to keep you as far away from her as possible. But the reality of your amazing luck settles when Nat comes to stand next to you. 

“Has he taught you how to fly one of these?” she asks. 

You shake your head. 

“Okay,” she says. “I’ll fly. You fill me in on the mission.” 

This is the greatest day of your life. 

The Quinjet, Kentucky Sky – A Short Time Later

You pull the flash drive free from the tablet’s port. The tablet’s screen goes blank while the hub screen built into your interior helmet visor lights up with a selection of unnecessary data about the tablet. Battery at 68%. No security update needed. Software version 3.8.27. You don’t understand why you are forced to tolerate the random extra tech. Rumlow told you it was to make your story more realistic. You still didn’t understand how something only you see makes others believe you more. 

You look up from the tablet, and the extra data clears. Bright sunlight floods the cockpit. The sky outside is so blue that it is almost painful to look at. You are sitting in the co-pilot seat. The various buttons and screens stretched across the dashboard mean nothing to you. Nat has been doing all the flying. All you’ve done is find a SHIELD issued tablet and plugged in the flash drive so Nat could review the details of your mission. So far she’s asked you easy questions about the mission. Your answers are simple nods or a shake of your head. You want to say more. You need to say more. But you stay quiet. You comply with your role. 

But there is sweet happiness in your forced silence. You look over to the empty pilot seat next to you. Nat left a few minutes ago to change after switching on the autopilot. You are tempted to lift up your helmet and sniff the pilot seat. You want to know what she smells like. You want to peel your black gloves off and touch the cushions of the seat. Feel the warmth left behind by her touch. A couple different scenarios float through your head and each one is far more entertaining than sitting in silence. But at least you get to be near her. You don’t have to hurry off and leave her. Despite all these stupid rules, you’ve discovered a piece of freedom that kept eluding you before. 

You turn your gaze forward when you hear Nat emerge from the tiny bathroom directly behind the cockpit. She settles back into the pilot’s seat. Her casual clothes are gone. You miss the leather jacket, but the black catsuit is a warm familiar memory. You tuck the flash drive into one of your suit’s many pockets. 

“Shouldn’t be long now,” she comments as her green eyes dart across the various screens and lit buttons. “About fifteen minutes out.” 

There’s a moment when you taste that bitterness of disappointment. You don’t want this to end. The two of you up in the sky without anyone else to distract you. But that moment ends when you remember what’s to come. For the first time you won’t be on opposing sides. Sort of. Not exactly. But it sends a thrill through you. 

“So,” she looks over at you, “Silent Type.” 

You frown at the stupid codename. You know she can’t see your face, but she sees something because she starts to smile. The tablet’s screen comes back to life as you navigate to the application you need. A virtual keyboard pops up along the lower half of the tablet. Your gloved fingers are quick as you type your message. You turn the tablet around so she can read it. 

Rumlow’s idea. Not mine. 

Your answer seems to amuse her more as she nods. 

“That does sound like a name he would come up with,” she says. 

You turn the tablet to face you again and delete what you wrote. Your fingers are quick to tap out another message. 

Did you choose your codename? 

Her smile falls a bit as she reads your question. “What did Rumlow tell you about me?” 

It doesn’t take you long to delete your question and type out your reply. 

Avenger. 

“That’s it?” she asks. 

You lower the tablet and nod. It’s not entirely a lie. Rumlow had spent most of his time preparing you for this stupid role. That meant filling your head with a bunch of random bullshit about fake SHIELD and real HYDRA. He trained you to remember your story. He did his best to polish off the grime of freelance and make you seem more refined. He rarely brought up Nat. And when he did, he never let you think about her for long. 

“I guess we’ll need to get to know each other better after this mission,” she says. 

More time with Nat? This day just gets better and better. Your fingers tap against the tablet’s digital keyboard again. When you lift up the tablet, you are very interested in her answer. 

What did Rumlow say about me?

“You’re his pet project,” she says as her smile returns. 

You frown. You want to somehow clarify that you are nobody’s pet project, but one of the buttons on the dash lights up and steals Nat’s attention. You watch as she turns off the autopilot and takes control of the Quinjet. 

“We’re approaching our target,” she reaches up and flips a switch. “I’ll set us down somewhere close. With our stealth systems engaged, they shouldn’t be able to spot us.” 

You turn your head and look out at the bright blue sky. While you love the quality time with Nat, you also need to come up with a plan for this mission. Rumlow’s coded orders had been clear. Kill Sikora. If Rollins had joined you on this mission, you wouldn’t have needed to do much thinking beyond when to kill your target. But Nat’s fantastic presence complicated things. You doubt that she’s part of fake SHIELD. Which meant putting a bullet in Sikora’s head outright wouldn’t go over well. Especially if your target decides to surrender. 

Your plan starts to take shape within your mind as Nat guides the concealed Quinjet towards the ground. It’s a simple plan. Draw your target away from Nat and kill him where it is just you and him. It would ruin the foreplay. You probably wouldn’t have much time and would need to kill Sikora quickly. But you’d get to talk to Nat later which seemed like a generous trade. 

The bright onslaught on sunlight fades as Nat sets the Quinjet down in a clearing surrounded by eastern white pine trees. Based on the data you had skimmed earlier, the abandoned storefront your target is operating out of is just north of your location. When the Quinjet’s engines fall quiet, you stand. You leave the tablet on your seat as you head for the cargo bay. You approach a metallic box bolted onto one of the walls. Your gloved fingers type in a code on the keypad fixed to the front of the box. The front panel unlocks and opens to reveal a small armory. 

Smaller than usual. No fancy explosives. Your usual selection of guns has been paired down to one: a single black Glock. You suspect your limited selection is thanks to Rumlow. You figure this has something to do with your training, but you don’t really care. You’re more disappointed in how the gun feels in your hand. You miss your Beretta. You don’t feel the same without it. 

You slide the Glock into the empty holster at your right hip and turn when you hear Nat enter the cargo bay. She holds the tablet you left behind. Her finger slides across the tablet’s screen, and you watch the way her head tilts slightly as she reviews the mission data. You imagine that she looked exactly like that whenever information on you ended up in her hands. Your smile starts to return as you grab the tactical knife left in the armory and slide it into place on your belt. 

She turns off the tablet and sets it down next to her black duffel bag. She lifts her hand and speaks into her wrist. “Comms check.”

You hear her voice flood your helmet and you don’t want it to stop. When she looks over at you, you nod. Her smile threatens to break you. You want so desperately to say something. You want her to look at you like she knows you. Like she did before whenever she appeared on one of your jobs. But your mouth stays shut. You comply. 

It’s quiet when you both exit the Quinjet. As you make your way through the cluster of trees, you can’t help but think back to your last freelance job in the middle of nowhere. The sound of gunshots ripping apart tree bark. The smell of sweat and blood on your target’s body. The feeling of her hand around your wrist. 

You stop when you reach the treeline. Roughly fifty yards ahead of you is the bland backside of the abandoned storefront. The back door is unguarded. You don’t see any cameras either. It’s no wonder why HYDRA wants Sikora gone. The lack of security is almost offensive. It’s as if your target is inviting you inside. 

“We’ll split up and sweep the area,” her voice is low and when you look at her, you nod. 

Perfect. As long as you find Sikora first, this mission should be easy. 

“I’ll take the upper floor while you secure the lower,” she says. 

As you nod, you hope that you’ll find Sikora in the storefront’s basement. If you don’t, you don’t know exactly how you’ll get your target far enough away from Nat. 

You both step out of the treeline and make your way towards the storefront’s back entrance. By the time you reach the back door and press your back against the wall, you notice that both you and Nat have drawn your guns. You bite your tongue to hold back a laugh at the thought that instantly springs to life within your mind. This must be the first time you both have a gun in your hand and you’re not pointing them at each other. Now would be a great time to take your helmet off. 

Nat reaches for the door handle, and it’s unlocked. You decide that it’s your target’s inflated ego that left the door unlocked and not stupidity. Or a trap. You try not to let that last thought get you too excited as you follow Nat through the backdoor. 

You enter a narrow hallway. Directly ahead of you is a wide open doorway that reveals a large empty room. Remains of what was clearly a counter mark the worn looking floorboards. Dark colored wallpaper peels from the walls. The room itself is lit only by the light that spills out from the hallway. Large, thin boards are nailed across the windows. Littered about the floorboards is trash, random dark wet spots, and the occasional clothing hanger. 

To your right is a set of stairs leading to the upper floor. To your left is the remains of another door. You see the hinges, but the door that clearly once occupied the space is gone. Beyond it is another set of stairs leading down towards the basement. You turn to your left and start to descend the stairs. You hear Nat ascending the stairs behind you. You force yourself not to look back as you lift your gun and keep going. 

Your footsteps are quiet on the stairs. When you reach the bottom, you find yourself alone in an empty room. The lights are on. Boxes and crates are stacked against one of the walls. On the other side of the room is another doorway, but this one still has a door attached to it. As you walk further into the room, you hear a loud thud shake the low ceiling. You feel a tiny spike of jealousy that Nat found her targets while you are alone in a basement. Another loud thud shakes the ceiling again. That lingering spike of jealousy flees when the door on the other side of the room opens. 

You pull the trigger the second you see someone fill up the space in the doorway. You see the person drop and no one else comes out. You move towards the open door. One quick look down at the man dying on the basement floor at your feet confirms that they are not your target. You step over the dying man and into the room. It’s a small break room with a fold out plastic table that eats up most of the space. Sitting on the table, directly in the middle, is a small, square television. It’s on and playing an old western. 

When you return to the dying man laying in the doorway, you find him dead. The man’s lifeless eyes stare up at you. His mouth is slightly parted. His hair looks greasy. He looks about as old as any average college student. The sounds of the western playing on the television fills up the quiet as you stare down at the dead man. The sounds of shouting pulls you out of your odd stupor. 

You step over the dead man and hurry back towards the stairs. You quickly climb back up into the narrow hallway and start towards the stairs that would take you up to the upper floor when you see it. You are standing at the base of the stairs when you see a body falling. You see their arms first as they come up, and you see how their legs trip over each other. You notice a mop of dirty blonde hair right before it smashes into the first uppermost step. The body falls hard down the stairs with a series of sickening crunches. You take a few steps back when you notice the body picking up some speed. When the body finally reaches the bottom of the stairs, it rolls over once and stops. 

Sikora lays at your feet. His neck is bent at a terrible angle. His blue eyes are wide open. You see a piece of bone poking out from his forearm. Your gun lowers at the sight of your target’s still body. You feel numb at the sight of it. No satisfaction. No sense of pride. Not even relief. You don’t know how to feel when you step over your target’s body and ascend the stairs. That strange feeling persists as you find Nat standing near a table. Littered across the floor are six bodies. You can’t tell if some are alive or not, but you feel the corners of your lips curl into a smile. Nat doesn’t have a scratch on her. None of the bodies scattered across the room were a challenge for her and you just want to run up to her and kiss her and hug her tight because it makes sense. One piece of your life hasn’t changed. She’s still your friend even if you can’t act like hers. 

As you walk further into the room, carefully stepping over fallen bodies, Nat closes up a black laptop that is sitting on the table. Her smile melts away any lingering numbness hanging on from seeing your target’s body. 

“Good work,” she says. “SHIELD will be here in ten to clean up.” 

You savor her praise before looking at the laptop again. 

“Just a little side project,” she says after following your gaze. She picks up the black laptop and moves towards you. “You ever have bourbon from here?”   

You shake your head. 

“Then we’re making a quick pit stop before we head back,” she says. 

You follow her, and you can’t help feeling like you are back in Ohio. It’s as if school is finally letting out and you two have the rest of the day ahead of you. You want this day to last forever. You’d rather her know it’s you, but if this is all you can have, then you’ll take it.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow fanfiction #natasha romanoff fanfic #my fanfic #fic: i swear that i don't have a gun

[luci-luck]

Earth “ponies” go first! MASSIVE autism dump comin’ atcha live

TW: ableism , grief , parental death (just in case the tags failed)

This is more so for me but I still wanted to share 🫶

Sandstone (Pinkie):

- b i g puppy energy

- Built for work but prefers to play

- Has crystal pony genes but depression makes them subdued. Can only go full crystal mode in a moment of pure and raw jubilation.

- after constantly being told who she’s supposed to be, they rejected the idea of labels entirely

- no labels for gender or sexuality means loving Pinkie does not impact your sexuality score!

- (intersex is not about gender but biological sex. That being said many intersex people use intergender as their gender as it relates to their experience as an intersex person.)

- deals with internalized ableism due to conservative fillyhood environment. Feels bad when they need to ask for help/support. Got herself an unofficial certificate in psychology so he can be his own therapist (it doesn’t work out)

- Parents would totally support the pony version of Autism Speaks just saying. Pinkie’s dad thinks neurodivergency is curable with hard work and the right attitude whilst her mom mourns the loss of her son after the diagnosis.

- ADHD makes xeir rejection sensitivity off the charts

- Internal battery runs on the company of others so can’t ever live alone.

- Had problems with food insecurity

- Relies on sugar as a steady supply of dopamine

- Can have moments of poor motor control. Clumsy

- Eyesight is bad but doesn’t wear glasses. Afraid that ponies will start thinking he is smart and they will expect even more from him. (In human world she wears contacts)

- Feels embarrassed being high support needs and just wants to be treated like everybody else. Hates when xer parents call her “special”

- Also hates being infantilized but is not confident in their decision making

- Xe is a sensory seeker unlike the rest of their family who are all sensory avoiders. Sisters compromise and try to meet his needs. Pinkie in turn tries to be mindful of their touch aversion but finds it hard sometimes. “Everypony’s just so scoop-able!”

- Trained Gummy to “stay”. Is very proud of his emotional support gator

Applejack:

- Is incredibly strong for her size

- feels like she has to constantly prove herself worthy of taking over the farm. Has gotten into arguments with Big Mac about overexerting herself

- Is a hinny (donkey mom and stallion dad) (ofc hinnies are supposed to have tails more like horse but I love the lion tail on AJ so 💁‍♀️) (I said mule in ALT text because most people don’t know what a hinny is)

- Because of this, she is more calm under pressure and thinks more logically

- has major depression from grief and ptsd (duh)

- Isn’t used to being in a stress free environment so she creates the stress

- Likes running the apple stand but certain families trigger her

- Obsessed with anything from the past generation. A time when her parents were young and happy

- Can be a bit insensitive to other’s problems and wants them to “put on their big girl pants” like she had to.

- Feels like she has to fill in the roles her parents used to do. Especially so Applebloom and Granny don’t have to stress over as many things.

- Was in the process of cutting her mane when she remembered that AB liked to braid it so she stopped half way.

- Is the mom of the friend group. Makes sure everyone’s needs are met before tending to her own. (Which is bad btw)

- Has problems with insomnia but getting better.

- Struggles with OCD and will repeat unnecessary tasks if she believes it will help protect her family

- Has an emotional support dog named Winona who also reminds AJ to take breaks 🐕‍🦺

- Sees no point in getting her chronic pain checked out. Will hopefully change her mind in the future. Wears leg braces to ease the soreness.

- Got diagnosed later on. Grief masked her autistic traits.

- Also has a hard time asking for help but has gotten better after she found out that Applebloom has been internalizing that mindset. She must lead by example

- Stick around long enough and she’ll happily invite you over with a hot cup of cider 🍺

- (Other people tend to fall in love while getting to know someone. Demiromantics however need to get to know the person first and then develop romantic feelings later)

- Thought she wasn’t capable of developing crushes until she got to know Coloratura.

#tw ableism #tw parent death #tw grief #mlp applejack #applejack #mlp pinkie pie #pinkie pie #mlp fim #mlp g4 #mlp headcanons #demiromantic #intersex #I’m not sure if I should add these or not but I did give small explanations for each one #mlp friendship is magic #mlp fan art #mlp fanart #mlp redesign #mlp #so many tags #actually autistic #autistic adult

[moyashidoodles]

Tiny doodles of Pidge (my Tav) from act 1 and early act 2. Her hair changed for each act so it’s easy to tell where they are in their journey by how disheveled she looks.

Pidge is a wild magic sorcerer with an affinity for soul magic. She can see the color of others souls (I don’t consider this game breaking, but also it’s my brain baby so idc if that’s possible in the 5e rule set) there are some supplemental fan spells and materials for adding soul magic and flavor and there’s the soul knife subclass rogue which I think was a Critical Roll addition? Ugh, look at me spreading misinformation on the internet.

OC lore below the cut.

Content warning: abusive relationship discussion (parent and child), implied sexual and physical abuse.

Anyway, Pidge grew up Rapunzel like with a very controlling and narcissistic “mother knows best” mom. The only reason her mother even had a child was to be a “spare” body for when her mother succumbed to a fatal illness (and to help her mother transfer souls into soul coins and gems to be bartered in the 9 hells. Lots of devil’s work)

Pidge’s mother is controlling to the extent that Pidge was not allowed to learn anything about her wild magic and spent much of her life warded to keep her from accessing the weave. “For her own safety,” of course. The only magic she was allowed and praised for learning was soul magic, and this was to help her mother with her research into immortality and with business ventures.

Pidge was also used as “entertainment” for her mother’s important guests. Basically anything that her mother could get from Pidge, she would try to use to her benefit.

About 3-5months before the beginning of the game, Pidge escaped and crafted an amulet to protect her body and soul from being hijacked by her mother.

She is the only member of the bg3 origin crew who did not lose skills when she was infected by the tadpole. She didn’t really have skills to begin with. Much to Gale’s dismay, she learns basically on the fly and does a lot of “firebolt first, ask questions later.” To her, practical experience is much more important than book learning. Really she has adhd and can’t rote memorize for the life of her.

She identifies with Karlach early on as they both have had dealings with the hells, although Pidge is just beginning to understand the ramifications of her mother’s hellish business of soul coin forging.

Pidge is also very afraid in act 1 of Gale finding her out as she was told to keep her soul magic affinity secret by her mother. In truth the stigma for soul magic is not so bad, but it was a manipulation technique to keep Pidge from explaining to any magic practitioners what they were working on and how her mother planned to use the research to steal Pidge’s body.

Her mother is still hunting her down, so Pidge needs a permanent solution or soul barrier to keep herself from her mother “living vicariously” through her.

Bodily autonomy is stupid important to her. She rejects the Emperor the moment he tells her to “embrace her ilithid potential” for fear of losing herself. She is self conscious to the extreme and keeps notes on her newfound companions likes and dislikes so she can keep them happy. She had a legitimate panic attack when both Gale and Astarion wanted the necromancy of Thay because, according to her calculations, they would disapprove if the other was the recipient.

She fell for Astarion after rather disliking him for a good ten day or two. He won her over by being actually reliable in scrapes and being really funny. She can’t remember the last time anyone made her laugh, so she loves the feeling. They are the two smooth brained members of the group. Similar brain cell count.

This ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be. If you made it to the end, then you will have made it to the end! *salutes in Barcus Wroot*

#my art #art #sketches #doodles #fanart #bg3 #illustration #wip #dungeons and dragons #pidge #bg3 tav #Tav #astarion #astarion x tav #bg3 astarion #dumb stuff #baldurs gate 3 #video game #OC lore #no one asked for this #and yet I have provided #cw: abuse #cw: implied abuse