#the fact that she is not fat. boggles my mind | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

an-android-in-a-tutu · 8 months

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There was a bit of a tiff that went down yesterday among some of my spnblr colleagues, and I'm not gonna really comment on that directly, suffice it to say I blocked the person involved ages ago bc they always act like this and I find it uncomfortable and unpleasant. But I think their behaviour is notable nc it's an example of a phenomena I've been noticing more and more lately, that I'm sure smarter and more attentive people than me have already described but I'm going to give it a shot anyway.

It's essentially the belief that if you present yourself as the passive/receptive partner then your aggressive sexual advances are no big deal and just funny jokes. The obvious related thought is the idea that women can't harrass or sexually assault men, but it goes beyond that imo.

I saw a post just recently speculating on how it's funny to talk about how you want to have so muc sex if you're a bottom but if you're a top it's creepy and makes you sound like a predator which is like. Mind boggling to me in terms of the unexamined bullshit at play. And to be fair people on that post were quick to point out that using sexually aggressive language to describe what you want someone to do to you is just as much harrassment as the other way around, and that people are far too permissive of this kind of behaviour. No one made the inverse observation that "wanting to put your penis in someone" as stated in the post is not inherently creepy or sexually predatory.

Like, topping and bottoming are a morally neutral acts. I feel like this sentiment goes around once every few months but we have got to let go of the idea that penetration is inherently violent and dominating. Especially if the inverse belief is allowing people to excuse genuinely out of line behaviour because they think being the receptive partner somehow makes them inherently non-threatening.

I mean that was imo a not insignificant part of the recent booktok drama abt a woman essentially sexually harrassing a hockey player. And there was absolutely more going on, not least of which being her getting rewarded for her behaviour initially, but I think a big issue is that we kind of apply the "punching up" model to situations like this, her target was both a man and a celebrity, the balance of power tips heavily in his favour so her actions become permissible. And for some reason there's this continued perception of bottoming and topping carrying a power imbalance. But if booktok lady had been screaming at Hockey players that she wanted to fuck them in the ass, that wouldn't be any worse that yelling at them to fill all her holes. It's the same shit.

So like, if you say, have this habit of using extended graphic sexual metaphors about how, say, people disagreeing with you about a fictional character all want you to suck their huge dick so bad but you don't want to and actually their dick is super small and pathetic anyway. You haven't actually cracked the code of how to avoid being a creep bc it's your mouth and their cock and not vice versa. And when you start actually replying to people with shit like this instead of just keeping it to your own blog? Sorry but just because it's about how "Everyone Else" wants you to suck their fat dick doesn't distract from the fact that you are the one opening conversations with other people with graphic sexual language for no reason.

(You also can't pretend not to be body shaming with your countless small dick comments by saying that it's just a metaphor and you're talking about BEHAVING like you have a small dick plbt plbt plbt that's a fucking cop out answer for idiot cowards. You are talking about people "metaphorically" having a small dick as a stand in for being pathetic. "I'm not bodyshaming I'm just using having a body like this as a stand in for qualities I think are bad!" What a fucking joke. But I digress)

And like I genuinely think this person just thinks they're doing a funny bit, and I don't think they need to be canceled for it or w/e but I do feel we all need to reflect on our assumptions abt sex and accept that the rules don't change bc of gender, or submissiveness, or who's sticking what in who. Unsolicited sexual comments are unsolicited comments, and while I'm not gonna pretend that tumblr is a sacred space where we can't make jokes about screwing and dicks and balls, there's always a line, and you don't actually get a free pass to cross it by being an uwu submissive bottom so spank me daddy.

Also if you're gonna make an extended sexual metaphor about what arguing about the cw's supernatural is like, I guess go nuts show nuts but be aware that you are gonna be broadcasting your particular sexual hangups when you do. Personally I prefer to put them in my fanfiction and get embarrassed when someone points them out. But hey, different strokes.

#discourse #ig #I dont wanna tag this as fandom wank bc I'm not trying to make it abt the fandom wank but #it's kinda #fandom wank #That is also abt everyone's weird hangups about penetrative sex #sex acts are morally neutral they only become bad if they're carried out unsafely or without consent #collection of only mostly related thoughts but gd this has been bugging me

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kimira-k · 7 hours

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I'm watching that Omega versus anime and I'm actually baffled by the fact that the same dynamic relationships is the norm...

Like I'm in Omega versus junkie I read a shit ton of Omega versus fanfiction and you're telling me that in this universe works the alpha female is with an alpha male the beta male is with a beta female and the Omega male is with an Omega female...

There is no way that works.

First of all the alpha pairings are just automatically a big fat no no cuz you're telling me that both of them have dicks meeting both of them think with their dicks meaning you're telling me that they want to dick each other down but because their alphas they aren't gonna do that because Alphas don't necessarily want to get dicked down in a general sense.

And the alpha female having children is going to be iffy because of their biology so that's a big fat no.

Not only is there sex life horrible but their relationship is not going to be working either because Alphas have that whole entire dominance and leadership thing about them and what makes anyone think that alpha female is going to submit to an alpha male just because he's an alpha male. no. she's an alpha too

It's not going to work it's going to be absolutely chaos.

A beta female and a beta now that's the only one that actually works because that one is the most stable.

And an Omega female and Omega male that in itself is just self-explanatory for many reasons.

Now in a general sense I would honestly love more of these types of relationships but like the execution has got to be good because the way I'm actually confused and baffled and curious at the same time is insane.

I read a lot of omegaverse and I have read a lot of non-traditional omegaverse.

I practically live in non traditional Omega versus fanfiction because it is so interesting to me but this...

This Omega versus story has me puzzled. I have recently started writing Omega versus fanfic where female alphas are a lot more focused on simply because the female lead of my fanfic is an Alpha and it has really opened my eyes to the fact that an alpha is still an alpha regardless of their primary gender

So the alpha part where both Alphas are together is honestly a big fat what? for me because I now have been unable to basically put the female Alpha in a more submissive role.

at the end of the day an Alpha is still an alpha regardless of their primary gender and that one is the dynamic relationship has me really confused.

In all honesty this anime is amazing and I actually really like it cuz it's super cute and the domesticity of it is just absolutely great but that specific aspect of the omegaverse where same dynamic relationships are the most common even among alphas and omegas is so mind-boggling to me when I have only read the traditional omegaverse dynamics that I'm just wowed.

#tadaima okaeri #omegaverse #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o #female alpha #male alpha #alpha beta omega #omega #anime #manga

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harryleatherfit · 1 year

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Upper East Side || A.U||

Frankie Morales

Chapter 5: Audition

word count: 4355

warnings: fat shaming (i’ve been bullied severely so i can write one pretty fucking mean bitch, middle school was not for the weak), alcohol consumption, age gap, mentions of student teacher relationship, anxiety, trauma, emotional parent abuse

pairing: frankie morales x f!reader, soulmates, slow burn, slight angst (maybe)

🪩Main Master List🪩 Series Master List🪩

—-

You couldn’t believe him the other night. You didn’t want to hear him out. You felt drunk on him from the other night still it sickened you. It was so bad to the point you almost couldn’t go to your first shift, but you had to go. Money was the only thing that was going to keep you alive.

You walk into the bakery and Matilda is excited to see you, she preps you for the cash register and how to greet customers.

“It gets busy around noon,” she reassures you, “Don’t worry though, you’ll be fine. You’re a charmer honey.” As she walks into the kitchen to make the pastries.

“It’ll all be okay.” You reassure yourself. In the past you worked food jobs in high school, but that was a small town. This is a bakery that could get filled up for hours with no break, almost like starbucks but prettier.

A couple hours go by, you’re going steady and chatting with your customers. Occasionally having a few slip ups with orders. Getting tipped here and there.

As you're talking to a customer, you look behind him and see Mr. Miller. You give him a friendly smile.

“Hi Mr Miller! Nice to see you today.”

“My favorite student,” He looks a little shocked seeing you, “I can’t believe you work here!”

You guys have small talk about voice class and he asks, “Are you auditioning for Lady Macbeth? I’d only suppose so…”

“Yes I’ve prepared for it, I’m a little nervous but I’ve searched up on Shakespeare the best I could.”

“Well the only thing you can do is your best, I know you can do it, I see your work ethic in my class and it can only excel for the show, what role would you like?” He asks.

You haven't thought about that, were you even talented enough to get that kind of lead here? “I mean I’m shooting for an ensemble at the very most, there’s no way I’ll get Lady Mac.” You look down, handing him his food and coffee.

“Oh no, don’t say that, I’ve heard around how well you are at acting and seeing you as Sally in Cabaret made the whole department decide that we needed you, don’t tell yourself you won't get Lady Mac because you have a clear shot at getting it. And if you don't, you have the musicals in the Spring.” He finishes.

“Mr. Miller, the fact you went all the way to UNCSA just to see me perform is mind boggling, thank you for giving me a shot and just seeing the potential in me. I appreciate it so much and I’m beyond honored to be one of your students.” You say to him.

“No trust me it’s my honor, I’m very excited for this year, I promise we picked you for a reason. I’ll see you in class.” He finishes and gives you his regards to have a good day.

Maybe your first shift wasn’t going to be as bad as you expected.

------ +Frankie POV+

Benny walks out of Matilda’s and calls up Fish, “You’ll never guess who I ran into while getting breakfast.”

“Who,” Frankies rough voice says over the phone.

“I ran into Her. She works at Matildas, she just started working there. We talked about Lady Macbeth and my voice class, we never mentioned you though.”

“Well yeah because, she probably doesn’t think that most of her teachers know that we almost kissed, and that you guys are my best friends and I confide to you guys for everything.”

Ben could hear Fish stiffen in tone over the phone. Fish was tired from thinking about you all night. He's lost sleep and his body is weak from not being able to be near you. It physically pained him that you left him on that stage. If he was quicker with his words, you would've gone off with him to have a night together.

“How did she look? Did she look happy? Sad?” He asks.

“She looked fine, a little tired, probably stressed, but you need to fix this so she doesnt fuck up that audition you blistering idiot.”

The other night Frankie decided to call over all the boys for poker, and to ultimately tell them about you.

“Fish, who's about it now? You’ve never been like this. You’re acting weird and you’ve been off for weeks now” Pope says.

They all were a couple drinks and rounds into the game, Frankie masking the feeling of missing you.

“Yeah what’s got you dick all in a knot fish?” Ironhead yells out.

“You can tell us man, we're here for you.” Benny reassures.

“I’m afraid to say, it’s not gonna get the best reaction.” Fish mumbles.

“Ok so go on you old bloke, we can pretty much take anything.” Ironhead laughs, getting agreement from the rest of the guys.

“It’s the actor transfer from North Carolina.” Frankie finally says out loud.

Pope and Redfly both spit their beer out into the air, “What?”

“Guys I know,” He slurs his words.”This is really risky to even say, I don’t even know what I’m saying. But I saw her in that show in North Carolina and she was so pretty on stage I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. It was like I was suddenly tied to her and this constant reminder was this ticking bomb in my head until I finally got to be with her alone. And when we finally were alone, my head was silent from everything, she calmed it. And I fucking managed to mess it up like I always do.”

Fish was the technical director of the whole school, so he was the most respected and well known out of all 5 of them. He had an image to uphold, but at this moment he didn’t give a shit if he was fired for you.

“I know this is fucking dumb and I shouldn’t be doing this. But I don’t know how to replicate this feeling in my heart when I’m around her. I don’t know how to not be around her. We almost fucking kissed other day and I blew it. And I know I’m her teacher and were all her teachers, but fuck I get this feeling and it makes me sick, and she’s the only person that can calm it down.” He finishes.

“So please don’t tell me to not pursue her because I genuinely don’t think at this moment I can hear that. I went up to her after Cabaret and just introduced myself and met her. Without even knowing her guys… she hugged me and thanked me! for telling her a good job. She didn’t even remember me when I saw her again for the first time. I've been waiting for so long…” Fish trails.

“Fish, man, if you like her this much what can we say?” Pope asks. “If I’m talking for all of us, yes she’s a student but she's a senior, you're an old dick yeah, but we all collectively brought her to this school because she’s going to give our department that maturity and thinking that it needed.

“Yeah I mean, you know the risks that come with this, but if it’s been for this long and you feel this strong, don’t you think it’s worth it? And if you almost kissed, you can make it up to her, you can tell her how you feel, you know.” Redfly says.

“Yes but I was mean to her, I hurt her feelings, she performed for me and I was cruel to her and she ran off from me, I didn’t know I made her so nervous.” He chokes through his throat. Frankie proceeds to pour more whisky in his cup.

“I’ve worked so god damn hard for this school and I’ve worked my way up, am I really going to ruin that all for how I feel for someone.” Fish outwards his inner thoughts, he wanted to be realistic with himself. “What would happen to her if people found out? Would the dean make us both leave? Would she be hated on by everyone in this whole fucking school because I ‘played her a favorite’?”

“Dude get your shit together man, do you think people would care that much? If you love her that much you have to be there for her. Imagine how scared shitless she is right now? Almost kissing her teacher and technical director, you’re gonna make her leave this damn school before she graduates! Imagine how hard it’s been for her?” Iron head pests at Fish.

He was pondering in his head. If his friends were okay with him liking you, then are all his fears gone?

“Fish? You okay?” Benny says over the phone. Fish was thinking about that night and how he wants to talk to you next. Would he talk to you before your audition?

“Yeah man, thank you.”

“No problem, she’s a good one, so seriously fix this.”

———

Your audition was in a couple hours and you were prepping with Hannah, Rose and Laylah. You all woke up and had a beautiful breakfast in your suite, letting the windows open and playing Fleetwood Mac. It only felt right to set the vibe and ease your mind.

“What theater is your audition in?” Hannah asks.

“It’s in the Abe Burrows theater.” You reply.

“Ah that's a good one, it’s intimate and you’ll have enough space to creativity do your monologue, trust me you’ll be fine.”

“What do you feel like wearing? I’ll get it out for you and you can give us a little fashion show before we walk you there.” Laylah says with enthusiasm, trying to make you feel better.

“Something light, but professional, something appropriate for the judges but something that screams me.” You say.

“Ok give me a second.” Laylah disappears for a second and comes back with the most beautiful outfit, you've never thought of this combo.

The tanktop was a gift from Laylah, you only wore it on special occasions, as it cost a lot of money. It was longer, but dressy and cut down to a v perfectly above your chest for modesty. It was a meshy material with gold, dark blue and white beading patterns. It reminded you of going off to Greece and living there forever in the sun.

She paired it with tan linen shorts that weren’t too baggy or see through, the perfect material. The perfect outfit for the perfect day.

“You know me so fucking well Laylah.” You smile ridiculously.

You decided to not wear any jewelry, you didn’t want to stick out or draw attention to any areas of your body. Your shoes were simple free people wedges you had thrifted and you felt ready to go.

-----

You arrive at the theater with your friends, “We’ll be just outside once you're done, and you can tell us all about it, have a nice dinner somewhere and be distressed. Get ready for the rest of the school week, and worry about the cast list when it comes out, okay? Rose says. “One last group hug!”

“Thank you guys, I genuinely couldn't ask for better friends.” You couldn’t they've helped with everything through this process, helped you with your anxiety intermixed with your audition anxiety. “I’ll see you guys on the other side.” You smile with a wave as you walk in.

It's a big place, you look at signs to figure out where to go and there's a big audition line. You sign in your name and wait through the 30 minute line.

As you do, you go through the monologue in your head, what movements you want to do. Your pacing, what words to stress on more. How you want your face to look at certain parts, the scream.

Once it’s almost your turn to go into the theater, you see someone walk out. It’s Nina.

Once she sees you she immediately scoffs. So far so good, you think, you still have time to ditch and leave if you wanted to.

You angle your face down, pretending you’re picking your nails, leaving your phone with Laylah to take any distractions away from you, but of course she comes up to you.

“You think you’re getting Lady Mac country bumpkin?” She gives you a dirty look. “I’ve put my whole life into acting and singing and you come along thinking you’re gonna replace me? Good luck.” She looks you up and down. “You’re too fat for it anyways, you think you’re going anywhere with that face shape and nose? Please, you think you can make it without any plastic surgery, nothing to be ashamed of sweetie, you need it the most!” She laughs.

In this moment, you feel like shutting down, running into someone's arms and crying. You feel like heaving. You’ve never met someone as mean as your mom, and here you are, being taken back to the years of humiliation and crying.

You're reminded of the constant years of having pain in your chest and not being able to breathe. The thought of moving almost made you throw up. You couldn’t speak or stand up for yourself, you just had to take it and accept her words. If you tried to speak for yourself, she’d only find another crevice to bury herself inside of you.

“Oh honey you think this is bad, watch what happens if you get in my way, wanna be slore. Not will I only make your life hell, I’ll make sure you get kicked out of this school. I’ll go on every social media website, platform and podcast show, saying how you bullied me, and I’ll have every bitch in this school backing me up. I promise.” She glares at you with her slithering hazel eyes, yellow snake eyes. You have tears in your eyes, not sliding down your face, but your sockets so full you can’t see. You would not give Nina the satisfaction, “Maybe after this audition you should go run 5 miles, I’ll get you an equinox membership and maybe that will make you realize your not meant to-

“Ladies, ladies, is everything all right?” Mr. Garcia came out of the theater interrupting Nina mid sentence, realizing you still had an audition to go to.

“Yes Mr. Garcia, everything’s alright. I was just cheering her on, she’s gonna do amazing!” Nina pats you on the back and you wince, her walking away and you’re still frozen, you can’t move. Begging yourself not to have a panic attack right now.

“You can come in now if you’d like?” Mr Garcia says, “It’s okay if you’re a little nervous, it’s pretty frightening to perform somewhere like this, walk with me?” He offers his hands to you.

He was being so nice, when did he even come and interrupt Nina?

You follow him through the theater, “You can sit here for a second, I’m going to prep the judges and give you a second to calm yourself” He smiles. “I hope Nina wasn’t a distraction?”

“Oh not at all.” You gasp out to him. You felt like your chest was going to collapse on itself saying that.

You’re left alone and you burst into tears, holding your hands over your heart and mouth. You couldn’t do this, you couldn’t embarrass yourself in front of those judges. You gasp for air and your heart is racing a million miles per second. You had to clear up the tears, you couldn’t draw attention to yourself.

And suddenly you hear Frankie's voice, you hear all your teachers voices and that immediately brings you back to reality.

Ground yourself, listen to his voice.

It almost made you more worried that he was there, he was going to be judging you and inspecting how you act, even when he’s already seen you perform this monologue, but now you needed to pretend no one else was in this room, you were still so unsure about everything after the other night with him but that didn’t matter. You are you, you are Lady Macbeth.

You hesitantly walk onto the stage and take in your surrounding, the judges are at their tables and you’re looking directly at all of them

Ms. Rolance, both Mr. Millers, Mr Garcia, Mr. Davis, Ms. Cheot, and finally Mr. Morales.

You give your best smile and give your slate. You give your name, year and what monologue you will be performing, they give you a second to start.

You look down and draw a star over your heart. You look up and start.

Immediately you start to quiver your voice and hands, feeling the blood all over your body again. “Yet here's a spot. Out, damned spot: out, I say.” You shout it across the theater, showing that you can project without a microphone.

"Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?” You look around the stage, and your pacing, it feels like blood is pouring off your body for this imaginary old man, almost making this your body. You’re rubbing your hands together like a maniac.

“The Thane of Fife had a wife. Where is she now? What, will these hands ne’er be clean? No more o’that, my lord, no mo o’that. You mar all with this starting.” You feel like you are sleepwalking, with this gibberish Lady Mac is saying, you feel her pain and sorrow.

“Here the smell of blood is still. All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand.” And you drop to the floor and scream until your head feels numb. You scream the pain of womanhood away, you scream for your lost childhood, and you scream for peace in your head. Not only for Lady Mac, you scream for yourself. You struggle to get up, tears are dropping at a rapid pace and snot coming down your throat.

“Wash your hands, put on your nightgown, look not so pale. I tell you yet again, Banquo’s buried; he cannot come out on’s grave.” You shiver and manipulate your head quickly,”To bed, to bed; there's knocking at the gate. Come, come, come, come, give me your hand,” You read out, shaking violently hard,” What’s done cannot be undone,” You walk off dazed and pacing, “To bed, to bed, to bed.” And you finish.

A sudden applause erupts from all the judges and you snap back into yourself. You’re still crying so you wipe the tears and bow.

“Honey, can you walk over to us? We'd all like to ask you some questions.” Ms Roylance calls from her god mic.

You walk up to them, and they’re all heavily taking notes of your performance on their notepads, the things you would do to see what they were saying about your deliverance. You catch Frankie at the end, scribing down his thoughts.

“First off, are you okay?” Ms. Roylance asks. “Those tears kept rolling.”

He looks up from his note taking and looks at you.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine.” You respond.

“What made you scream like that?” Mr Miller looks up and asks.

“Huh?” You’re confused.

“I mean, something inside you made you scream like that,” He smiles. “What took it for you to scream like that?”

“Oh I guess there are many factors. If I can speak freely, just thinking of my mom and childhood.” You shrug. “Women suffrage for many years, I mean this show is for Lady Mac, not Macbeth.” You say Macbeth because why should a man's name be so important.

Frankie study’s how you respond, flinching when you talk about your mom.

They all take what you’re saying and write more.

“What was your focus point for your monologue?” Mr. Garcia asks.

“My hands, I vision them covered in blood as if I killed the king. I think the more crazy I feel inside, the more I can portray it on the outside. It takes mental preparation, but that part is easy.” You answer.

You think about his hands on yours, how strong he felt.

“How do you think Lady Mac would fill the space in this show?” Ms. Cheot asks.

They were going down the line, each asking you a question you’d guessed. Every answer was still a fast scribble, eating every word you had to say.

“With there being no dancing in the show, I think she would walk with correct posture, not because she wanted to but because she felt if she didn't her husband would have scolded her and hurt her. If I’m not mistaken the time period where women were killed if they didn’t obey their husbands. She’s quick with her decisions, as she’s quick with her feet. She’s not easy to please, but she can conceptually please people easily in her own way.

“Did that scream kill your voice?” Mr Miller, that’s your voice teacher, he asks in a humorous way.

You laugh, “No actually, I think screaming can make someone who sings, sing better actually. If you scream correctly from the chest, it won't damage the vocal cords.”

Mr Miller applauds you on your answer, because simply this is what was taught in musical theater for belting.

“When wearing makeup on stage, do you think this would affect your character no matter the drastics?” Mr Davis asks.

“Honestly, stage makeup is stage makeup. It has to be drastic. For Lady Macbeth, I think she would wear anything to show that she is slowly losing herself, if that means she has to look solemnly dead on stage, then so be it.”

“I don’t have any questions for you sweetheart, a great job seriously, Mr Morales, any questions or comments?” Ms. Roylacne says.

He looks up, and you meet those sweet deep set eyes.

He looks tired. You miss his lips. You miss his hands. You miss his smell. But he’s at a table in front of you and you can’t do anything about it. You forgot about everything on stage and finally being in front of him reminds you of everything you want in your life.

Him.

“I’d like to ask, what made you pick this monologue out of the selection you were given?” He asks. He leans forward an inch to watch you respond.

You think on it for a second, at this moment he’s your director and you have to be honest, “I picked this because it resonated with me the most. She feels guilty for the things that she wanted to do to make her husband more powerful than King Duncan. I don’t feel like she wanted to do it, she felt forced to do it by so many components. But in the end I think she killed herself because she couldn’t save herself. She could never live her own life because there was always going to be this burden weighing on her heart. Her husband was the cause of her death, now my interpretation is completely different but if I felt commanded in that way to kill a man for my husband, then I would have lost the will of life. I would have lost myself.”

Frankie just stares at you and the words are at loss from the both of you. You yourself can’t believe that you just said that to all the judges, but mostly to him.

Did he save this question for himself to ask you? This seemed too personal. It felt like it was only you 2 in the room and you couldn’t let yourself look away from him.

You didn’t feel violated by him, you only felt understood. You wanted to just kiss him and be held by him, after everything Nina said to you, you felt weak.

“I’ve never heard of that interpretation, I��ll take that in mind when I read it again.” He says.

You feel like if you look away, your oxygen will stop. You’ve barely had 5 conversations with him but you feel seen, an invisible string between you two.

“You’re free to go, excellent performance again.” Ms. Roylace says. “The cast will come out tomorrow, we had men audition earlier. You were our last performance of the day.”

You give them all your thanks and walk out to your friends. Before leaving the theater you check for any signs of Nina staying back, and she had thankfully left.

You couldn’t do anything about it, but the moment she jeopardizes your safety that’s when you would have someone interfere.

You walk out and your friends bombard you with hugs and cheers, they hand you a cute little muffin and you cheer, walking back to your dorm.

“I saw that girl Nina storming out of the theater about the time of the audition. Did she talk to you?” Laylah says.

“Yeah she threatened me before I walked in. She was saying if I replaced her she’d get me replaced.”

“That Nina girl? She’s fucking crazy, her freshman year she genuinly pulled a girl by her hair and it was all over social media. Before the dean could even talk to her, every video was wiped off the internet.” Hannah says.

“I’ve had a few classes with her and if you stayed out of her way you didn't have a problem but she is evil to the people that do. She’s degrading and will make your life hell. I don’t know how she still has friends.” Rose adds.

“I do, it’s because of daddy's money and he can pay for everything. He’s paid for her training when she was younger and now her way through this school. She just wants to make him proud.” Hanah replies.

“Who’s her dad?” You ask.

“This stock broker, real estate agent that has like a million assets. He’s a gazillionaire and Nina never fails to mention that she has money.” Hannah says. “Anything Nina does, gets covered up by her dad and no one has been brave enough to stand up against the both of them.

“We’ll see about that.” You end the Nina conversation.

She would not have power over you.

—-

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authors note: i promise they’re relationship is on the way. i honestly can’t believe i’ve written 5 chapters with no smut, i thought i would screw the story line and immediately jump in but. next few chapters are getting good 👀👀 happy mother’s day<333

let me know what you think!! anything i should add or what you’d like to see for this fic!!

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a34trgv2 · 1 year

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Top 10 Worst Main Characters In Cartoons

#10. Kick Buttowski (Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil): Kicking off our list (no pun intended) is the one trick pony of a character that is Kick Buttowski. His character begins and ends with him wanting to do extreme stunts. That'd be fine for a 7 minute short as a tribute or parody to stuntmen like Evel Knevel, but for an animated series? His shtick gets old very fast and he's nothing more than a blank slate of a character.

#9. Lincoln Loud (The Loud House): A smug, narcissistic brat, Lincoln treats his sisters like a means to end at best and a pain to live with at worst. Not only does he show contempt with them on a daily basis, but he's also not afraid to humiliate and take advantage of them to stroke his own ego. Would you believe this kid's named after one of the greatest Presidents of all time.

#8. Katie Mitchell (The Mitchells vs The Machines): Nothings makes me hate a movie more than how hatable the main character is. Katie is selfish, annoying, ungrateful, and not even remotely funny. She has this bitter and resentful attitude towards her father when they were once best friends, and the way she makes this story about her is very condescending. If the movie had been about her as a child and putting her relationship with her non-tech savy father to the test, maybe I'd sympathize with her more, but as a teenager ready for college, she's just a brat.

#7. Nancy Clancy (Fancy Nancy): I now know how Dora's detractors feel after watching Fancy Nancy. Nancy is such an obnoxious, pampered brat that talks down to the audience like we're pesents and always acts like a fancy life is the best life. She's very rude, selfish, and narcissistic, all of which are qualities you're NOT supposed to have when trying to be fancy.

#6. Miriam "Mimi" Mortin (What About Mimi?): No, this gif isn't from the villain of this obscure show. It's from the main protagonist...and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Mimi is a stupid, selfish, and annoying kid who makes simple problems worse by going overboard with her plans and throwing her friends under the bus. She's also very irresponsible and oblivious to the fact that she's no better than the show's designated spoiled brat, Sincerity.

#5. Kai (The Hollow): The one character that singlehandedly makes the show worse, Kai is everything Adam and Mira DIDN’T need on their journey. He's whiny, selfish, short-tempered and a big, fat coward. Whenever there's danger, his first and only instinct is to head for the hills instead of helping his friends. He also needlessly starts arguments with Adam because Heaven forbid 2 guys have a normal conversation together without it turning into a shouting match.

#4. Kiff Chatterley (Kiff): What do you get when you put Mimi's personality in a squirrel who's dumber than a sack of acorns? You get Kiff! She's selfish, annoying, stupid, irresponsible, and overdramatic over the simplist of things. What puts her above Mimi on the list is Kiff is the 4th irresponsible main female character I had the displeasure of sitting through after I specifically said I was done with these types of character. The character's a bigger waste of time than watching a worm try to crack open a safe.

#3. Molly McGee (The Ghost and Molly McGee): If you thought Dee Dee from the last 2 Seasons of Dexter's Lab was a headache, you might want to where a helmet when being in the same room as Molly McGee. She's annoying, inconsiderate, loud, obnoxious, and really stupid. She never thinks before she acts and every time she opens her mouth, she never shuts up. The worst part about her is the fact that Scratch can't just leave her because he put a curse on her, meaning he's stuck suffering with the audience listening to this chatterbox.

#2. Oscar Peltzer (Summer Camp Island): It boggles my mind how Hedgehog, nevermind ANYONE, would be friends with this kid. Oscar is selfish, annoying, inconsiderate, and stupid. He goes through Hedgehog's personal stuff, cheats at games and gets lost in the city. He also has a bad habit of not thinking before he acts, making him all the more annoying and stupid.

#1. Apple and Onion (Apple & Onion): No need to imagine a show with 2 annoying side characters as the main characters, because it already exists. Apple and Onion are easily the worst characters in Cartoon Network's history. In addition to being annoying and stupid, they also lack basic chemistry with each other and are painfully unfunny. What puts them at #1 though is Apple's fatphobia and Onion's complacency to said fatphobia. Need I say more? -.-

Conclusion: These cartoon protagonists are not only bad role models, but they're also just badly written. Whether they be annoying, stupid, irresponsible, or selfish, trust me when I say you DON'T want characters like these as the protagonist of your show/movie. Either audience's will mistake them as villains, or they'll just tune out. Dishonorable mentions go to Fei Fei from Over The Moon (I've talked enough about that brat -.-), Bloo from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends (I wouldn't have blamed Mac for not visiting Foster's anymore after the birthday party episode), and Rick Sanchez from Rick & Morty (would've made the list, but I don't wanna give Rick & Morty any more attention than it has already). Thanks for reading, and I'll see you soon ;)

#reblog #share #like #follow #animation #comedy #disney #cartoon network #the hollow #netflix animation #top 10 list #summer camp island #apple & onion #the mitchells vs the machines #the ghost and molly mcgee #what about mimi #kiff #disney kiff

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missegyptiana · 2 years

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the fact that y’all bullied taylor into removing the scale scene in anti hero on apple music BOGGLES me. yes i understand the discussion abt her using the word “fat” on the scale hurt some people. but those that just bullied her into taking the whole scene out hurts. i’ve struggled with an ED before and no one really understood me and what my mind was going through. no one i knew was going thru the same thing. so i’m happy taylor included her struggles in the video because it helps people like me understand that we are not alone and that one of our idols went through something similar. not only that but taylor was comfortable enough to share it. to prove that she is human and she has had dark periods where she hated herself and didn’t like what she saw in the mirror. which actually breaks my heart into so many pieces that it happened to her. all she wanted was to show the world that she has gone through many things that she does not talk about and that she is truly human just like the rest of us. that she has struggles. she has insecurities. she has self image issues. that her life is not perfect. but she took this and made it into art and put it in her self-directed music video, but now she has taken it out due to all the harsh comments

#tw self image #anti hero music video #anti hero #tw ed #tw body dysmorphia #tw body image #taylor swift #isabella speaks

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bihet-dragonize · 1 year

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I posted 18,870 times in 2022

693 posts created (4%)

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I tagged 4,242 of my posts in 2022

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Longest Tag: 140 characters

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My Top Posts in 2022:

The way bi women have been talking about this for fucking years. Been yelling and screaming that we don't magically escape homophobia or misogyny just because we're dating, married to or fucking men and it was met with the vilest shit on this very fucking site. The way we provided study after fucking study. They way we said we deserve and need lgbt resources in case our cishet partners are abusive and it was treated as us being liars and invaders. The way we've spoken about how common biphobic beliefs (which inform why people refuse to even associate with the term "bisexual") has led to our high rates of ipv.

And we were ignored. People called us bihets (peep the url). People made it seem like were were just sluts that performed lesbianism for men (so much to unpack there). We were continually called liars and selfish and self centered and told that we were just trying to center our cishet relationships in lgbt spaces. People genuinely harassed bi bloggers for simply stating that bi m/f relationships were not cishet.

And now a bisexual woman who was abused for years because of her ex-husband's biphobic, misogynistic, jealousy, and she's just been told "Yes you were abused. No, you're not allowed to talk about it."

The fact that the biphobia is merely a footnote in most of the conversations surrounding the abuse (as if it can be neatly separated from JD's motivations behind his violence) is not lost on me either.

1,101 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

Staff working FAST to remove those images meanwhile bloggers of color get slurs in our inboxes and calls for genocide against us, lgbt bloggers get literal harassment and graphic descriptions of violence, trans women getting just the vilest shit you could think of and its crickets. I think it's safe to say that that staff member and the rest of staff are just white supremacists. I never trusted them, but I hope for anyone that did this shows you just how ain't shit they've truly been.

1,445 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

Anyways Imma complain about that author that just gets her ideas from her fucking agent like some 9th grade student.

I genuinely get so fucking annoyed with most of the booktok shit with the boring stock minimalist covers and the fucking fanfic-to-published pipeline but the idea that an author is 1. Getting their ideas from their agent in the form of like....suggested writing prompts and 2. Is being given tropes as the prompt with nothing else to consider, is mind boggling. Why do these people write? Why do these people do this if they don't want to create something as organically as possible? It's definitely a lack of respect for the craft cuz like if you respected writing and storytelling for the art that it is you wouldn't be reducing it down to tropes so you can start playing Situation Simulator 9000 with the most recent white cishet abled characters shown on your feed. It's just insane to me.

1,556 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

I think you have to be particularly ignorant to see the treatment of lgbt people (regardless of whether we're sexually explicit or not) and of sex workers, and women who are confident in their sexual interests, and poc who are simultaneously hypersexualized and desexualized by racism, and disabled/fat people who are desexualized and fetishized by virtue of ableist/fatphobic dehumanization and think that the world has a net positive view of sex.

4,065 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The fact that I reported a puppet account for saying Black people deserved slavery and was given a bullshit "that's their opinion" response yet staff has deleted 3 of my Black mutuals on the same fucking day tells my that @staff is racist and that Black Excellence banner is only for fucking show. Y'all will let Black bloggers be harassed, but God forbid one of them says fucking white women. With fucking full blown pedos and white supremacists on your fucking site too. Hope your building blows up

15,741 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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troglobite · 1 year

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fatphobia and weight loss discussion tw (basically discussing thin people's bullshit and the oz/mp/c bullshit and more)

tfw thin people THINK they're being progressive and fat allies when talking abt this oz/mpic bullshit

but then they use the words ob/se and ob/sity epidemic and claim that "losing weight is simple, but it's not easy"

actually wow it's neither of those things?

"ppl always trying to skip out on the fact that it's hard work, you have to move more and eat better"

how abt you die and rot in hell?

i'm fucking tired

it's just mind boggling bc in between all of that is how shitty it apparently is that thin is The Beauty Standard and always has been, how strides in "body diversity" (rather than, y'know, FAT LIBERATION) have been meager, and saying that it's terrible to be depriving ppl of medication they need--and that the fda is deeply irresponsible, etc.

but then on top of that

to say the shit from further above--

AND ALSO

"this is for ppl who are actually ob/se and need to lose weight, not ppl who want to drop 10 lbs"

oh and then

apparently--JUST LIKE LITERALLY EVERY OTHER METHOD OF WEIGHT LOSS--ppl who STOP taking this medication gain back all of the weight and then some

and this is used as a GOTCHA! for "lazy people who don't want to work hard to lose weight" rather than, y'know, anything abt how

LOSING WEIGHT IS DANGEROUS, ILL-ADVISED, AND USELESS, AS IT HAS BEEN PROVEN TO BEAR NO LONG-TERM BENEFITS TO ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY FUCKING MANAGES IT

and also anyone who loses weight is likely to gain it all back AND THEN SOME within a few years

so the fact that this medication is making that happen FASTER is deeply worrisome

it sounds dangerous as fuck

it is NOT a safe alternative to ripping out your stomach--though it achieves the same result!!!

it makes you STARVE YOURSELF!

AS IF "OVER EATING" IS THE ONLY CAUSE OF BEING FAT

i'm so fucking tired i'm so sick of this bullshit i'm SO FUCKING TIRED

and what timing for me to finally decide giving this video a chance, being like, hey, this person, afaik, makes educated videos abt shit, i'll trust her

nope

thin people are gonna be stupid and thin every fucking time

the timing is bc this was the thing my mom got mad abt

it sounds like she was hoping to try it as well bc she's struggling to lose abt 15 pounds (which is literally all she "needs" to lose--to be physically more comfortable, and purportedly to help w a specific medical condition that, bc of my Deep Medical Anxiety, i haven't looked into to try and Fact Check bc i deeply disbelieve anyone and anything that says weight loss is a treatment)

and now it's like

sorry, you can't take this

it'll make you starve yourself

fuck with your basal metabolic rate

and you'll have to take it for the rest of your life

risking kidney and liver and pancreas problems, long-term

and probably malnutrition

bc if you go off of it, you will IMMEDIATELY gain back the weight you lost and then some

instead of just....

being a little bit more active to slowly, over time, replace those 15 pounds of fat with some muscle

like that's what i have to do

and does that sound similar to what that fucker was saying in her video? that people who want to take this pill are "lazy"?

yeah but i'm not repeating the same garbage sentiments and i'll tell you why :)))))))

it's bc this is excess weight (for both me and my mom) that the pandemic has caused

our activity habits have SERIOUSLY CHANGED

and she has been capable of going down 10-15 pounds when need be

but she is currently in a CYCLONE OF STRESS so of course it's fucking difficult right now

also actually there are two reasons she's "supposed to" lose weight

and quite frankly one of them i don't think will be affected by weight loss literally at all, just more activity will help

and also it's a thing that naturally fluctuates all the fucking time for No Known Reason (bc they refuse to look into it and just say You're Too Fat, Lose Weight instead of actually fucking researching it) and so there's a chance that in 5 years, it'll just be back to normal, everything fine

and the other thing won't even be a problem for another 10 years

so this desperation to lose weight is just this sense of being Stuck in a Garbage Fucking Life

it's not the weight that's the problem (except for any like, physical discomfort)

it's the stress and depression

but i don't get to just say that or talk to her abt that bc she'll probably just get angry and defensive at me again abt this shit

anyway i'm going to get aubrey gordon's books. been meaning to and just hadn't managed to. but i will now.

i really need the information within them to help ward off the surge of fatphobia going on.

also has anyone else noticed that ALL FORMS OF BIGOTRY are having a massive surge, as the tide of fascism is rising?

what a coincidence /sarcasm

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josiebelladonna · 11 months

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i literally can’t stop thinking about kristin’s “support all women” mantra. not because she didn’t support me, but because it’s inane.

really. you support ALLLLLLLLLLL women.

even the narcissistic ones. the abusive ones. the hateful ones. the gross ones. the bullies. the racists. the thieves. the liars. the fact two of the absolute worst politicians we have right now are women (mtg and boebert).

oh, nooooo. no woman is like that. they’re being forced into that against their will by men. she says while she has literal hordes of men on her goddamn profile kissing up to her. jesus lip-stroking christ, are you kidding me.

and it’s not just her making it into a gender thing, either: it’s yet another thing i’m seeing all too often (me? i don’t care. if someone is being shitty, they’re shitty, and i don’t care what the gender is). it’s so tone-deaf, it’s actually mind-boggling, especially when i realize that some of the worst people i’ve ever known were women (interestingly, some of the best friends i ever had were guys). and, it’s actually dehumanizing when you think about it. really, you don’t think some women are capable of doing horrible things?

and just to further drive home her tone-deafness, i once caught her saying, and i quote (i’m not joking. i wish i was making this up, i will never forget this), “i have an overeating disorder because people talk crap about my body.”

…

okay. never mind the fact that that is literally not how eating disorders work for one second, be it anorexia or bulimia or binge-eating: you develop an eating disorder from a myriad of factors, not just ~someone talking trash about you~. she said it very nonchalantly, like it’s just another conversation piece and not some huge fact based out of a desire for connection and understanding. and the way she phrased that still irritates the absolute fuck out of me. “talking crap about my body”, this is fifth grade level understanding of a very complex and delicate subject, like “those girls were mean to me and now i can’t stop eating!”

i developed anorexia because… let’s see. i was body-shamed for being bigger just in size, told not to show off my belly when in public, made fun of for loving to eat, bodyshamed for having a heavy build even while thin, being told that being fat is the worst thing you can do to yourself, “it’s hard to lose weight”, feeling left out when i wanted to wear stuff made for slender girls and fashion models, and being scrutinized worse than women in communist china when i gained even a pound, plus 99% of the body shaming came from my own family, it was actually rare to hear it from my peers (they would just stare at me and act like i was a potato that sprouted legs). i wanted to be thin because i wanted to be perfect. i wanted to be thin because i was certain that no one likes me as I am—and you know, i still feel this way, too. you may recover and overcome those dark feelings, but they’re still with you, though. it’s like how when you’re a recovering alcoholic and you still feel the temptation every day (except here you’re not poisoning your body, you’re wasting away). when you think you’re kurt cobain, and then you drop a sentiment like “people talking crap about my body” with the sophistication of crap, i begin to wonder if you’re legitimate.

plus, her over-the-top, noisy, obnoxious atheism makes me want to seek out a faith of some sort. i’m kind of tired of christianity, i’m tired of it being so sensationalized and bastardized and abused by zealots, and i’m scarred by growing up with it, too (it’s sad, too, because i’ve known plenty of christians who are very good and kind people). i like reading about judaism, though, and all your eastern faiths. one of the best places of worship i’ve ever been to was a buddhist temple—a synagogue, too. at the temple, there was no one there but me and the statues of buddha, and it was so peaceful as a result. at the synagogue, the rabbis were really nice and friendly and weren’t trying to convert me like the vibe i usually get from churches. if someone wants to be atheist, good on you (and i totally get why, too) and be proud of your truth. but if you’re waving it in my face, telling me i’m wrong, shaming someone for being a christian… it’s hard for me to see you as different from the bible-thumpers who do the exact same shit.

this woman didn’t traumatize me, but she did trigger a lot of old traumas in me. what’s worse? she’s laughing. bitch is laughing at me right now and she doesn’t give a single fuck. it’s like she failed to understand how triggers work… ironic knowing how so fucking feminist feminist that ever fucking feminist she is.

that’s some supporting all women for you.

#kristinnirvana #text #her veganism makes me want to eat a meatloaf sandwich too

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straightfromthetorturedpoetsdept · 1 year

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the backlash from the bathroom scene in anti hero is just blatant ableism

You know what, I agree.

Like, it actually is. On so many levels, it is. Like, the obvious eating disorders are psychological disorders and therefore you cannot hold them to the same standards as healthy people ableism but also the autistic ableism of just assuming she was saying "being fat is bad" like she hasn't repeatedly spoken out against fatphobia and the ways it's normalized in our society just because she chose to express her mental illness as her looking for validation from herself and people assuming that meant she's applying it to the entire society and how it should think about being fat ableism.

And then there's just plain out bad film analysis skills because anyone can tell you that basic film analysis 101 is analyze the whole fucking scene in full before making lame ass conclusions that are not backed up by the evidence. Like I will never not be angry that yall took it to mean that taylor thinks being fat is bad and not an explanation for why she never looks directly in the mirror because she sees bad and judgemental taylor in the mirror, telling her she's fat.

Like, it goes back to ableism. Do you want people to be honest about their mental illnesses and psychological disorders or what? Like, she does call herself fat but she also recognized that calling herself fat was bad IN THE FUCKING SCENE THEYRE COMPLAINING ABOUT so why are we policing the fact that she calls herself fat?

It's because eating disorders are heavily stigmatized and seen as a woman disorder. If they were being properly diagnosed in men, it'd be classed as OCD so fucking fast your mind would boggle.

I digress. The whole situation makes me sick to my stomach because it's so reminiscent of 2012 tumblr I'm surprised they don't fucking see how awful they're being lmao.

#personal #fatphobia #eating disorders #taylor swift #anti hero mv

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lochtayboatsong · 3 years

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The Jesus Christ Superstar essay absolutely no one asked for.

Last weekend, I watched the pro-shot of the 2012 arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar starring Ben Forster, Tim Minchin, and Melanie C, because it was Easter and it was up on YT for the weekend. I never managed to do my annual listen-through of Leonard Bernstein’s Mass this year, as is my usual Easter tradition, so I figured “Why not watch/listen to this instead?” It was my first time seeing and hearing JCS in full, and Y’ALL, it has been living rent-free in my brain ever since. I have a mighty need to get my thoughts out, so here they are, in chronological order by song.

1) Prologue: I love the way JCS 2012 makes use of the arena video screen. The production design and concept clearly took a lot of inspiration from the “Occupy ______” movement, which makes it feel a bit dated now. But every single production of JCS is a product of its time period, so this is a feature and not a bug.

2) Heaven On Their Minds: This is a straight-up rock song. It wouldn’t be out of place on any rock and roll album released between 1970 and 2021, and it boggles my mind that Webber and Rice were both in their early twenties when they wrote it. Also, the lyric “You’ve begun to matter more than the things you say” hits hard no matter the year.

3) What’s the Buzz: A+ use of the arena screens again, this time bringing in social media to set the tone. Also, this song establishes right from the outset that Jesus is burnt out and T I R E D by this point in the story. Seriously, can we just let this man have a nap?

4) Strange Thing Mystifying: Judas publicly calls out Mary and Jesus claps back. Folx, get you a partner who will defend your honor the way Jesus defends MM in this scene. Also Jesus loses his shoes and is mostly barefoot for the remainder of the show.

5) Everything’s Alright: Okay, this is one of the songs I have A LOT to say about. First, it’s important to know that I was a church musician throughout all of my adolescence and into my early adulthood. The pianist at the services I usually played at was a top-notch jazz pianist, and also my piano teacher for about six years while I as in high school and undergrad. (Incidentally, I had a HUGE crush on his son, who was/is a jazz saxophonist and clarinetist and also played in the church band, but that’s a story for another day.) One of the hymns we played a few times a year was called “Sing of the Lord’s Goodness,” which is notable for being in 5/4 time. Whenever this hymn was on the schedule, it was usually the recessional, or the last song played as the clergy processed out and the congregation got ready to leave, so we were able to have some fun with it. After a couple verses the piano player and his son would usually morph it into “Take Five,” a famous jazz standard by Dave Brubeck which is also in 5/4 time. Anyway, the first time I listened to this song in full, it got to Judas’s line “People who are hungry, people who are starving,” and I sat bolt upright and went “HOLY SHIT THIS IS ‘SING OF THE LORD’S GOODNESS/TAKE FIVE.’” And I was ricocheted back in time to being fourteen and trying to keep up with this father/son duo in a cavernous Catholic church while simultaneously making heart-eyes at the son. Final note: This is the only song in the musical to feature all three leads (Jesus, Judas, and Mary Magdalene) and is mostly Jesus and MM being soft with each other in between bouts of Jesus and Judas snarling at one another.

6) This Jesus Must Die: I LOVE that all the villains in this production are in tailored suits. LOVE IT. Also, Caiaphas and Annas are a comedy duo akin to “the thin guy and the fat guy,” except in this case it’s “the low basso profundo and the high tenor.” Excellent use of the arena video screen again, this time as CCTV.

7) Hosanna: My background as a church musician strikes back again. It honestly took me two or three listens to catch it, but then I had another moment of sitting bolt upright and going “HOLY SHIT THIS IS A PSALM.” Psalms sung in church usually take the form of call-and-response, with a cantor singing the verses and the congregation joining in for the chorus. If I close my eyes during this song, I have no trouble imagining Jesus as a church cantor singing the verses and then bringing the congregation in for the “Ho-sanna, Hey-sanna” chorus.

8) Simon Zealotes: This is part “Gloria In Excelsis” and part over-the-top Gospel song. Honestly it’s not my favorite, but it marks an important mood change in the show. The end of “Hosanna” is probably Jesus at his happiest in the entire show, and then Simon comes in and sours the mood by trying to tip the triumphant moment into a violent one. Jesus is not truly happy again from this moment on.

9) Poor Jerusalem: Also not my fave. It kinda reads like Webber and Rice realized that Jesus didn’t have a solo aria in Act I, so they came up with this. But it has the distinction of containing the lyric, “To conquer death you only have to die,” which is the biggest overarching theme of the story.

10) Pilate’s Dream: Pontius Pilate might be the most underrated role in this entire show, and I love that this production has him singing this song while being dressed in judge’s robes.

11) The Temple: The first half of this is one of the campiest numbers in Act I, at least in this production, and it’s awesome. The second half is one of the saddest, as Jesus tries to heal the sick but finds there are too many of them. Also the whole scene is almost entirely in 7/8 time, which I think is just cool.

12) I Don’t Know How To Love Him: Mary Magdalene’s big aria, and one of the songs I knew prior to seeing the full-length show. This production has MM taking off her heavy lipstick and eye makeup onstage, mid-song, which is kind of cool. Melanie C says in a BTS interview that MM’s makeup is her armor, so this is a Big Symbolic Moment.

13) Damned For All Time: The scene transition into this song is played entirely in pantomime, and I love it. The solo guitarist gets to be onstage for a bit, A+ use of the video screen again to show Judas on CCTV, etc. Love it. And then this song is Judas frantically rationalizing what he’s doing, and what he’s about to do, with Caiphas and Annas just reacting with raised eyebrows and knowing looks.

14) Blood Money: This is where the tone of the show really takes a turn for the dark. I think this might be one of Tim Minchin’s finest moments as Judas, because his facial expressions and microexpressions throughout this scene speak absolute volumes. And the offstage chorus quietly singing “Well done Judas” as he picks up the money is a positively chilling way to end Act I.

15) The Last Supper: Act II begins with major “Drink With Me” vibes. (Except JCS came WAY before Les Miz, so it’s probably more accurate to say that “Drink With Me” has major “The Last Supper” vibes.) Jesus and Judas have their knock-down, drag-out fight, and it’s honestly heartbreaking, thanks again to Tim Minchin’s facial expressions. A well-done production of JCS will really convey that Jesus and Judas were once closer than brothers, even though their relationship is at breaking point when Act I begins.

16) Gethsemane: This is Jesus’s major showpiece and one of my faves. Jesus knows he has less than 24 hours to live, he knows he’s going to suffer, and worst of all, he doesn’t know whether it’s going to be worth it. It’s an emotional rollercoaster to watch and to perform, and it goes on for ages: something like 6 or 7 minutes. Fun fact: the famous G5 is not written in the score. Ian Gillan, who played Jesus on the original concept album, just sang it that way, so most subsequent Jesuses have also done it that way. Lindsay Ellis has a great supercut of this on YT. John Legend notably sang the line as written during the 2018 concert.

17) The Arrest: Judas’s Betrayer’s Kiss is played differently across different productions. The 2012 version is pretty tame - I’ve seen clips and gifs of other productions, including the 2000 direct-to-video version, where they kiss fully on the mouth and have to be dragged apart by the guards and it is THE MOST TENDER THING. Then the 7/8 riff from “The Temple” comes back and the 2012 version lets the video screen do its thing again as Jesus is swarmed by reporters.

18) Peter’s Denial: Not much to say about this one, as it’s basically a scene transition. But it’s a significant moment in the Passion story, so I’m glad they included it.

19) Pilate and Christ: The 2012 production continues with the theme of Caiaphas, Annas, and Pilate all being bougie af, since Pilate intentionally looks like he just came from tennis practice during this scene. Also he does pilates...hehehe.

20) King Herod’s Song: Tim Minchin says in a BTS interview that JCS works best when Jesus and Judas are played seriously and the rest of the production is allowed to be completely camp and wild and bizarre all around them, and he is bloody well CORRECT about that. Case in point: King Herod. There is not a single production of JCS that I know of where Herod is played “straight.” He’s been played by everyone from Alice Cooper to Jack Black, and everyone puts a different zany spin on him. In JCS 2012 he’s a chat show host in a red crushed velvet suit, who is clearly having the time of his LIFE.

21) Could We Start Again Please: This is another of my faves. Just a quiet moment where MM, Peter, and the disciples try to grapple with the fact that Jesus is arrested and things are going very, very badly. This is also my favorite Melanie C moment of the 2012 show. Her grief is very real, and the little moment she has with Peter at the end is very real.

22) Death of Judas: This is basically Tim Minchin screaming for about five minutes, and incredibly harrowing to watch on first viewing.

23) Trial Before Pilate: Possibly my single favorite scene in the entire 2012 production. This is another harrowing watch, but there’s so much to take in. The “set” that the entire show takes place on is essentially just a massive staircase, and the people with power are almost always positioned above the people without power. In this scene, the crowd shouting “Crucify Him!” is positioned above Pilate, which is a very telling clue to Pilate’s psychology during this scene. Jesus is at the very bottom of the stairs, of course. Excellent use of the video screen once again during the 39 Lashes, to show the lash marks building and building until the entire screen is a wash of red. Pilate’s counting also gets more and more frantic, especially starting around “20.” And all the while the guitar riff from “Heaven On Their Minds” is playing. Jesus’s line “Everything is fixed and you can’t change it” is played quite differently in different productions - here it’s defiant, but elsewhere (in JCS 2000 for example) it’s almost tender, like Jesus is absolving Pilate for his part in the trial. But it always ends the same - with Pilate almost screaming as he passes the sentence and “washes his hands” of the whole sorry business.

24) Superstar: The most over-the-top number in the show. Judas, who died two scenes ago, comes back to sing this. There are soul singers. There are girls in skimpy angel costumes. The parkour guys from the prologue are back. Judas pulls a tambourine out of hammerspace midway through the song. And Jesus is silently screaming and crying as he gets hoisted onto a lighting beam while all this is going on.

25) The Crucifixion: More of a spoken-word piece than a song, it’s Jesus’s final words on the cross over eerie piano music, and another harrowing watch.

26) John 19:41: An instrumental piece in which Jesus is taken from the cross and carried, at last, to the top of the stairs, before being lowered out of sight as the video screen turns into a memorial wall and everything fades to black.

So. I know I’m anywhere from three to fifty-one years late to this particular party, but I am on the JCS bandwagon now and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself. :)

#jesus christ superstar #jcs 2012 #jcs is all i have been thinking about all week sorry not sorry #ben forster #tim minchin #melanie c #andrew lloyd webber #tim rice

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hvitserkmarcosource · 3 years

Text

Into The Woods

(Hvitserk x Reader)

Warnings: 18+ , Smut, Unprotected Sex, Virgin Reader, Christian x Viking)

Requested by @lady-valkyrie

Word Count: 1,928

I hope everyone enjoys! My requests are still open, if anyone wants one, send me a message!

................................................

It was stupid, you knew it was, but you were dying of thirst and the men at camp weren’t going to fetch any water. “Stupid pompous, ignorant men” you grumble to your self as you walk further into the woods.

You were stationed at camp, a skilled nurse and an even better cook, waiting for this war to be over. You can’t understand why King Alfred would want to start a war with people who were once his allies. It boggles your mind terribly.

But who are you to judge... that’s right, no one.

You are a simple cristian, a servant to Alfred, and nothing more... isn’t that exciting. You roll your eyes at your own thoughts. Finding yourself angrier the further you walk. Stepping in mud and God knows what else.

After a long while you find the stream and your anger slowly starts to fade. The water is so beautiful and you guess nature isn’t so bad... The Lord made everything here so you should appreciate it more. You should stop and bask in all that the Lord has made, let it soak in and wash away all of your sins-

“Well well well, what brings you to our side of the camp little bird?”

You freeze, because what else could you possibly do in a situation like this.

“Cat got your tongue?” He chuckles “You are a Christian yes? I have not seen you before and trust me I would have remembered you”

You nod, it seems a cat has indeed got your tongue.

“Are you alone, little bird?” He asks

And that’s when you start to cry. You are alone, so terribly terribly alone, with no means to protect yourself and no one to help. Or hear your screams.

The man gets off of his horse and before you know it you’re running, running across the stream and as far away from this Pagan as possible. He was going to kill you, that’s for certain. He’ll kill you and send your head back to camp as a message.

Strong hands grab you and wrap around your mouth to silence your screams. Your body is pushed into a tree and you wince in pain. “Stay quiet” he warns “I don’t want to hurt you. This war is idiotic and unessesary… Will you be calm if I remove my hand?”

You nod frantically

True to his word he released you, spinning you around to face him he says “See much better, I was not trying to frighten.”

“You can understand my fear, I hope.”

He smiles “She has her voice back, praise the gods.”

“God” you correct him, to which he smirks

“You have your God and I have mine, I never understood why it is such a crime for people

to believe in different things. Why it has started wars”

“Because men like to fight” you answer him “They would rather be bloody on a battlefield than silent in a temple or church.”

He sighs “I guess you’re right… I’m Hvitserk.”

“I’m-“

“Don’t tell me, it is better I don’t know who you are” Confusion must have been clear on your face because he explains himself “If you are of importance I will have to do things I don’t want to do”

“O-oh”

For a moment a silence falls between the two of you. Your back still against the tree and Hvitserk still standing closer to you than he should be. However, you're not uncomfortable… he is handsome for a heathen. He isn’t filthy or fat. He’s young and,

you’re sure, fit under the layers of fur and armor.

“You’re staring, little bird.” He says softly

“So are you”

He chuckles “You are beautiful, you can not blame me”

A blush creeps onto your cheeks and you desperately try to avoid eye contact.

“Do you have a husband?” He asks “Is there a man back at camp that is missing you?”

You shake your head “No one is missing me, I doubt they even know I exist”

In an instant his lips are on yours, making your head spin… this is so wrong. He may be handsome but he’s the enemy and this is a sin.

You push him away and wipe your mouth off with the sleeve of your dress. “How dare you!” You yell “Why would you do that?”

He shrugs “You are beautiful and all alone… and I want to have sex”

You gasp at how crass this man is being “Well you’re just going to have to find someone else-“

He cuts off your sentence with a laugh “You liked it, admit it, little Cristian.” He points at you “A Pagan made you want to break the rules.”

You scoff “That simply isn’t true”

“Then why is your face red and why did it take you so long to push me away. I thought you Cristians couldn’t lie”

You clear your throat “We can’t, I am not lying.”

He steps closer, so close that you begin to get hot. You can feel the sin creeping into your brain. You want him to kiss you again. In fact you want him to do more than kiss you. You want him to throw you up against this tree and make you forget everything about your teachings.

“Little bird, I’m going to kiss you again.” He says it softly, so soft you almost don’t hear it. “I’ll be gentle and I promise it will feel good… and when we’re done you’ll come back to camp with me and forget all about your King Alfred and his Wessex.”

Your lips meet, and your breath leaves your lungs. Your legs turn to jelly and knees buckle as he rests your body against the tree. One of his hands comes up to grab your leg and you let him. You let him hike up your skirt and wrap your leg around his hip.

You let him kiss your neck and leave little bites. You let him mark your sensitive flesh. Bruise you.

Your mind is fuzzy, blissed out by how good he’s making you feel. You’ve never felt like this before and my God you don’t want it to end.

His hips rut into yours and you moan, head tossed back and bottom lip between your teeth. He curses in his language and it’s the most erotic thing you’ve ever heard. That alone must be a sin.

“Please- Please-“ you don’t know what you're asking him to do, why you're begging like this, but you are and he seems to enjoy it. His lips are on yours again, more aggressive than last time and more heated. You’re moaning like a whore and he’s growling like an animal. Heat rises to your cheeks in embarrassment, you are so going to Hell for this.

His hand slips inside of your undergarments and a small cry leaves your lips when he starts playing with you. Coating his fingers in your wetness and then gently rubbing the most sensitive part of you. You grab onto his shoulders for more support, feeling a fire burning in your belly like a hot coil that is getting ready to snap.

“Let go little bird.”

And you do, that hot coil inside of you snaps and you're reduced to a moaning sobbing mess of pleasure. You’re whispering his name when he lays you down on the ground.

He starts kissing your neck, your face, and lastly your lips “That was so good, so good little bird… are you ready for me now?”

You nod and are rewarded with another kiss. The both of you melt into it just for a moment. It’s slow and sensual and everything you’ve imagined a kiss to be like. You’ve decided you could stay like this with Hvitserk forever.

Once more, you allow him to push your skirt up, his head dips down but you’re too nervous to look. Too nervous, so you close your eyes. You let him kiss your ankles all the way to your hip bone, you let him slide your undergarments down, and you let him kiss below your belly button. “I will not lie, this is going to hurt a little in the beginning. But only for a moment… Is that ok?”

Your voice is shaky when you answer, the fear starting to kick in. You say “Yes” anyway. You don’t know what possesses you, may it be a demon or just the man hovering over you, but you want this. You want this probably as much as he does.

The sin is exciting. The chance of getting caught out in the open. The scandal that your first time will be with an enemy of Wessex. It’s all too exciting.

Your consent is all he needs, it all happens so fast you barely have time to register the sharp pain in your core. And the more he moves the better it feels.

A moan slips from your lips and he starts to pick up the pace, hitting a part of you you never knew existed. “You feel so good little bird- fuck… so good”

You cry out and your body convulses. His thrusts are so powerful that your body moves backwards every time he pushes into you. He buries his face in your neck, moaning and cursing like a mad man.

Your hands search for something to hold on to, finally coming to rest on his upper arms, your nails dig into the fabric of his shirt. “More” you whisper, arching your hips as much as you can. Trying to get more of him inside of you. His hand reaches down and starts to rub circles into your bundle of nerves, sending you into sensory overload.

Another moment of sin, you make the first move and pull him into a kiss. It’s hot and messy and- “Ohhh God!” You scream when your second climax hits you, this one even more intense. Tears streaming down your face and body shaking.

He doesn’t slow down.

Pushing you through your first climax and sending you head long into another. Your body quivers around his, your walls still spasming. Screams die in your throat as wave after wave of pleasure continue to wash over you. Thrust after thrust you get closer to the edge.

He brings your leg up to wrap around him “You’re mine,” he chants “all mine, understand?”

You’re a hiccuping mess but answer him as best you can. “Alll y-your-rss”

He loses his rhythm, his own climax roaring through him quickly. to keep from shouting, he sinks his teeth into the delicate flesh of your neck as he loses control. Spilling inside of you and triggering your third orgasm.

Both of you are quiet, the only sound in the forest is of your heavy breathing. He rolls you over to lay on his chest and wraps an arm around you. For a long while you stay like this, resting, recovering, enjoying the moment of peace in this crazy war.

Suddenly the quiet is broken by Hvitserk’s laugh “Well I don't think you can go back to your camp.”

Playfully you hit his chest “Thanks to you”

He kisses the top of your head and teases “You're welcome”

“I have to go back, Wessex is my home”

He sighs “It doesn’t have to be… I wasn’t joking when I said I want you to come back with me.”

“To a Viking camp? No one will want me there”

He sits up slightly, just so the two of you can look at each other. “I want you there…”

#marco ilsoe #marco ilsø #hvitserk vikings #hvitty #hvitserk ragnarson #history vikings #vikings #hvitserk #marco ilso x reader #marco ilsø x reader #marco ilsø smutt #hvitserk smut #hvitserk x reader #hvitserk lothbrok #marco ilsø smut

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angelisverba · 4 years

Text

but i wanna play daddy

in which y/n doesn’t listen to her daddy, and mafialeader!harry doesn’t fucking play.

word count: 3k

warnings: mentions of drugs and violence. +angst.

yes, inspired by the snl episode (but nowhere nearly as gangster as that). got another one based on the jason skit coming soon ;)

“Harryyy,” she whined.

Y/n sat on the couch, legs crossed and foot bouncing as she watched Harry with a pout on her face.

It was a Wednesday. The busiest day of the week. Work from Monday was still getting finished, and more work started to end by Friday.

Y/n knew better than to mess with Harry on a Wednesday.

But, watching him with one of his burner phones pressed in between his shoulder and ear, one hand cuffing up his white shirt sleeve and gun hostler unbuttoned and jostling on his broad shoulders. Not to mention, his green pin-stripped trousers that looked as if they would burst at the seams with every stride he took. Y/n just couldn’t help herself. Pinching at his thighs with grabby hands from her spot on the couch, to where he stood on the opposite side of the coke-glass coffee table.

She’s being bold. She knows this, knows better than to mess with the fucking king pin of London.

Harry was no nice guy.He’s known for gunshots to the head when his orders aren’t followed. Broken noses if you look at him the wrong way. And god help anyone who tried to betray him.

Currently, his eyebrows were furrowed and he had that cold glint in his eyes, lips pressed hard against each other to form a hard line. Voice menacing, almost like that one time y/n walked in on his pushing a guy up against the wall by his throat, asking where the fuck is my money?

She’d been so frightened that time. She remembers standing the the doorway, whatever question she wanted to ask had died in her throat; reduced to a mousy squeak. Harry had seen her, dropped the man like a doll and his face instantly an entirely different demeanor. He’d murmured to someone else in the room to take care of this fucker and that night he made love to her all night long. Sweaty, desperate ruts, begging her to forgive him, that he wasn’t a bad guy (not with her at least) that he loved her, kissing all on her throat.

He only ever when putty in her hands. If she asked, he’d put a bullet through the head of the Queen of England.

When Harry first felt nails grazing above his kneecap, he swatted off her hands like he would a fly, turning his head sideways as his fingers quickly folded back the cuffs of his shirt.

His eyes had said he wasn’t in the mood to play.

And he wasn’t.

Harry was in the middle of receiving the news of delayed shipment, letting the flustered employee explain themselves when he felt, again, the scratches of his girl’s fingers, this time mid thigh. Not knowing that Harry was a finger pinch away from cursing out the stupid imbecile on the other side of the phone, y/n looped her fingers on Harry’s waistband, and tried to pull it down.

Faster than she could register, Harry hung up the phone, threw it in the tabletop, and grabbed her wrists to push her back flush against the couch.

“Daddy’s not in the mood to play right now, sweet pea. You better watch it,” he had her hands pinned above her head, his lips pulled back as he spoke, threatening; like a dog on his haunches.

She leaned up, and licked a fat stripe up the side of Harry’s face and said, “but I wanna play, daddy.”

Her eyes were half hooded, pupils glazed over with lust and lips parted with anticipation.Her mind was a boggled, swampy mess full of harry, harry, harry. She needed him, wanted him, yearned for him to do as he pleased with her.

“I said I’m not in the mood to play, didn’t I?” He said, tone intimidating and even.

She hummed absentmindedly, her back arching and hips wriggling, hoping to get anything from the man above her. Anything to sate her ache.

“Use your words, y/n. Answer me.”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Tsk-tsk. Know what happens when you disobey me?” Harry dips his head down, nose skimming the column of her throat, and placing a wet kiss on her collarbone. He nearly went further, the low neckline of the pretty slip dress enticing him.

But he remembered he had a fucking job to do and men to reprimand. Lessons to teach. One of them being patience to the girl underneath him, to spank her until she learned enough was enough.

“Yes, daddy,” she said, her voice a breathy whisper.

She felt as if she were a coiled spring, one release away from the action.

Then, “Be ready when I get back home, little brat. Got it?” And he leans in to her as if he’s gonna kiss her, but laughs at her meanly, and kinda throws his hands off his own before getting back up, readjusting his pants and clasping the gun holster across his chest. Harry picked up the burner phone from the table, and scooped up his suit jacket from the back of the couch, holding it by a hooked pointer finger over his shoulder and walked away.

Y/n pushed herself up onto her elbows with a dejected frown on her face, eyes watering and her heart breaking just a little. She’d just wanted some attention.

He’s gone for so long throughout the day, and he looks so good before he leaves.

The night before he’d fucked her. A slow, long, lazy sex session where they’d been impossibly to each other. The type of fuck that left her wanting for more, and he did give her more. He gave her much more. Made her come on his tongue, his fingers, and his cock.

And call her greedy, but she woke up that morning with her clit throbbing; wanting a continuation of what happened the night before. Her mind still in that post-orgasmic state, not yet deciphering that it was a different day, but rather focusing on needing to cum again.

She didn’t think that warranted for a punishment.

She watched him walk away, burner phone pressed against his ear and a guard meeting with him at the door, another coming in to stand at the closed emerald doors, throwing a fleeting glance at y/n before taking a protective stance at his post.

Sighing, she got up and went up the dark stairs with the end of her dress in one of her hands, the golden rail biting cold at her soft palm. Her mind is an endless whirlwind of anxiety and want. She wanted Harry to kiss her. Hold her. Tell her she was pretty and good. Not for harry to spank her. Not to tease her. Not to tell her she was a brat or a bad girl. She didn’t mean to make him mad. No, in fact, she hoped he would’ve smiled at her sweetly and dropped the phone to devote all his attention to her. Kiss all on her. Cuddle with her. Because it’s what she wanted.

Now look at her. She’s the bad girl with a punishment pending when she gets home.

With a pout on her lips, she tucked herself under the velvet covers of her and Harry’s shared bed, feeling awfully small in a very large space.

She didn’t wake again until she heard the loud slam of the emerald doors closing, and the tapping of Harry’s shoes on the stairs.

Her stomach grumbled, and she needed to pee.

In muddy efforts to avoid Harry, she scrambled out of bed, her legs kicking like dogs when they ran really fast in cartoons, and hurried to the restroom. She shut the door behind her, and locked it; reached down to the hem of her dress, and threw it over her head. Y/n did her business on the toilet, washed her hands and splashed her face so it wouldn’t look like she was sleeping. The water was really cold, and it made her whine when it touched her skin, a few droplets dripping onto her exposed breasts.

It felt as if she was running on premeditated orders, her actions practiced and mechanical.

She doesn’t remember unlocking and opening the door, but, suddenly, she’s standing in the doorway and Harry is sitting on the edge of their bed, elbows resting on his knees, his chin on one of his palms, and he’s watching her with the uttermost intensity.

He perks up when she stills, lifting his head and upper-body to the space on his lap is clear, and his eyebrow raises expectantly. His silent command makes y/n’s shoulder’s slump. Any chance at explaining herself, she feels, is far gone. Harry’s expression is one of business; he’s going to teach her a lesson.

When she doesn’t move, he says, “Don’t make me go over there and get you, baby.”

She shuddered, and slumped some more as she took her first steps towards him, head hung down like a puppy’s. Her skin rose with goosebumps, and heated under his gaze. When she got close enough, Harry reached out, and placed his hands on either sides of her hips, yanking her so she laid with her nipples brushing his calves, and her clit ribbing against his thighs. He groaned when she pressed back against the palm that rubbed on her ass cheek.

“Now, y/n” he squeezes her harshly, and lets go to rub over it, “tell me why I’m doing this.”

“Because... because I didn’t listen this morning,” she mewls, withering underneath his touch. She feels the inside of her walls growing warmer, slicker, and before she knows it she’s dripping down onto Harry’s pants. Her nails dig into Harry’s shins, bracing herself and also trying to ground herself because he hadn’t even started yet.

“That’s right, princess. I told you to behave yourself because, daddy had things to do, but you didn’t listen.” Harry leans forward to catch a glimpse of her face, his hands still kneading at her skin. He smirks when he sees that her eyes are screwed shut, and her mouth parts open when he dips his finger to collect her moisture. “Baby, you’re makin’ a mess of my trousers.”

Harry’s accent always intensifies when it drops to this sexy drawl he only ever uses in certain situations with y/n. This only riles her up more, and she shuts her thighs to stop him from teasing her even further.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, mouthing at the cloth covering his leg.

A sharp thwack fills the room when Harry’s hands meets y/n’s skin, his rings adding an extra bite to the sting of his palm, making her lurch forward with the hit. “Sorry, who? Who are you talking to, y/n?” He tuts his tongue, massaging over the pink hand print on y/n ass, his dick bloating at the sight of his mark. She shifts, the mound of her pussy pressing down into the head of his cock, and Harry has to clench his jaw to hold back a moan.

“Daddy,” y/n mewls, “I’m sorry, daddy. Didn’t mean to be a bad girl, daddy. Just wanted some attention. Please, please, daddy, I’m sorry,” She cries.

Usually, Harry wouldn’t think anything of it. Y/n can be a real brat sometimes and she’ll fake crying if it means she’ll get what she wants because she knows she has a mafia king’s heart at the palm of her fucking hand.

But this is different. Y/n had opened her mouth and her shoulders started shaking, her words cut off with sobs that rake through her entire body. She’s breathing in choppy blubbers, one syllable escaping before it’s cut off with tears.

And, he’s not going to lie, he’s scared. Scared, because he’s really not sure what he’s done, and whether or not her game has increased tenfold, or if she’s really upset or why she’s upset.

Nonetheless, he stops what he’s doing, and lifts her up, one hand at her bicep, and the other at her thigh, opening it so she’s straddling him. The sight of her face breaks his heart. She’s red, teary, and her eyes are swollen. And she yelps when the side of her butt with Harry’s palm print touches his thigh, whining when Harry’s hand comes in between her butt and his thigh.

“Baby girl, hey, hey, look at me,” Harry places his other palm on the side of her face, ad she leans into his touch, sniffling and gulping in breaths of air. “breath, puppy. Breath. It’s okay. ‘Not mad at you.”

“I’m sorry, d-didn’t wanna-” She starts, her chest flushed red and heaving. Harry shushes her, placing his thumb on her lips and rubbing across them. He wants to kiss her. So bad. But he thinks he should calm her down first.

“I said it’s okay,” His voice is gentle now, nearly cooing at her. A strand of hair falls to tickle his nose, and he tries to shake it off. Y/n’s trembling fingers comes it back for him, and he presses a quick kiss to her forearm before continuing, “thank you, baby. Not tell me what’s got you so upset. Want you to use, your words, okay? Breathe for me, y/n.”

She has a hard time keeping his stare, and she glances down at his chest instead, memorizing the buttons on his white button up. “I... I just...” is all she can get out before she’s crying again, her tears falling down onto her breasts like the cold water had.

Harry brings her to chest, slipping out the hand from underneath her bum to press her firmly against his burning chest. He’s hurting, he really is. Hates seeing his precious y/n cry. He would do anything to take her pain away. “Don’t cry anymore, pet. ‘S nothing to cry for.”

She’s inconsolable. Her mind going in circles to the point where she doesn’t know what she’s crying for. Something to do about Harry neglecting her. Calling her a bad girl.

And god her thoughts are so,

“Small, daddy. Feel so small. Please don’t yell at me.” Harry tenses all over again. A cold sheet of dread draping over his back like a thousand knifes cutting him open. It hits him then, that this morning,

she wasn’t being a brat.

She was still in subspace.

He guesses it was the fact that he’d gone so hard on her the night before. And he left so quick. Didn’t even kiss her goodbye, no. In fact, he laughed at her like a tool, and left her. Called her a brat.

All while she was in this delicate state.

He feels like shit then. A real dickhead. He’d went, instead, to worry about stupid drugs and money that he had plenty of. He could never, ever get enough of y/n, yet he had acted like he did.

His heart clenches, his chest tightens, and his throat ties itself in a knot. This only makes him feel more like an asshole because instead of telling y/n that everything is okay, he’s the one crying. Get your fucking shit together.

“Princess,” he whispered, a name he only used when she felt small, “Come back to me. Come back too daddy,” he pleaded, hiding his face in her hair.

“Are you still mad at me, daddy? Please don’t be angry, daddy,” She whines, nosing into his neck. Her voice is high-pitched and light, like a child’s.

“Daddy’s angry at himself. Not at you. Come back, yeah? Miss you, y/n.” He presses tiny kisses to the side of her face, making her giggle and scrunch her pink nose. She shivers a little, and Harry remembers she’s naked. He twists backwards and pats around the bed blindly for his suit jacket, placing it in y/n’s shoulders once he finds it.

“M’right here, Harry.” Y/n says. Her voice is hoarse, back to normal. Her eyes are droopy, and she wraps her hands around Harry’s neck.

He jumps to return her embrace, hiking her thigh over his hip to get her close, but she feels his erection through his pants.

“Harry you’re-”

“Don’t worry about it. Just wanna lay here with you for a minute. Need to do what I didn’t get to this morning,” he said.

They lay together in the edge of their silky sheets, nearly asleep when y/n’s stomach grumbled loudly, and she giggles when Harry rubs a hand over it.

“Let’s get you something to eat, baby. Deserve only the best.”

He sits up, pulling her up with him so she’s on his lap. Y/n smiles at him, chin digging into her neck bashfully.

“Now, don’t you go all blushy on me, baby. Know its true. Deserve the best, and I’m gonna give it to you.” He grins at her, his green eyes gleaming at her, “Gimme a kiss?”

“Who would’ve thought, Mr. Styles, feared by all of London, asking me for a kiss,” She teased, leaning in to her lips brushed against his with every syllable she spoke.

“I love you, y/n. You have my heart, know that right?” And he pushes his lips against hers, tonguing at her mouth innocently.

Y/n kisses him back, and she tell him she loves him, too.

#harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles au #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurbs #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles watermelon sugar #one direction fanfiction #harry smut #harry styles mob boss #harry edward styles

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