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beiasluv · 1 year

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Hello! Do you take request for platonic relationships? May I request for a fic where the reader is Neteyam’s twin and they died instead of Neteyam? Thank you!

neteyam x sister!reader

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•

a/n: yesss, i love platonic relationships, hope u like it :)

warnings: curse words, death :( and ye bad grammar bc i am potato 💀

masterlist

enjoy!

the tale of jake sully and neytiri began a long, long time ago. until now, they had a been blessed with a baby or should i say babies

the future child of the toruk makto bear great responsibility since a youngling. even the childbirth was not private, the clan gathered around the suffering neytiri to celebrate their heirs.

neytiri screamed as her voice cracked; she squeezed jake’s hand tightly, as if she wanted him to bore the pain. jake, who was helpless to his wife held her tightly and made an attempt to calm his own beating heart.

“a boy!” the first cry echoed the forest floors and a blue baby wailed.

“neteyam!” jake held his baby high up the ground, as an offering back to eywa. and like she had noticed, the wind blew heavily among the trees.

“neteyam!” the people of omaticaya chanted as they celebrated.

jake held neteyam against his mother, “he is so precious- ma ja-!”

“neytiri!” she held his hand tightly for the second time. “what is wrong? are you injured?” he looked for mo’at and she came hurriedly.

“this can’t be!” mo’at raised her hand high towards eywa. “ewya had blessed them with a twin!” “Tsleng kä! (eywa gives)”

“Tsleng kä!! (eywa gives!)”

…

“y/n!” jake held you up in his embrace.

“y/n!” the people chanted. as if eywa acknowledged her blessing again, the woodsprites surround your body and flew off into the wind.

a twin can only be so different yet so similar at the same time. you both inherited loyalty and obedience from your parents.

however, the eldest daughter can never deny that they are a daddy’s girl. and neteyam is a mommy’s boy. a fair trade

jake will always have a soft spot for you in his heart. the firstborn daughter of a toruk makto carries a great burden all the time. he had to prepare you since young to learn how to hunt, speak intellectually, and the importance of your people.

he will call you his ‘babygirl’ when you are going through tough times and it helps calm you down 👀

you would say you guys are both calm and collected. but if compared with each other, neteyam is still leaning towards his brain, but you leans towards your heart.

you are more emotional than neteyam and for good reasons.

whenever he gets too harsh on lo’ak, you were there to support and push him up. (sorry neteyam, but we know who is lo’ak’s favorite twin here)

however, twins are twins. you guys can fight each other and screw up one another, but you are always there to back him up.

“no, neteyam, can not have my food, but here is my liver if you are going to die.”

neteyam, being the eldest he is, is very protective of his twin sister. your human hand gained a lot of unwanted attention from the other na’vis. he made each and everyone of them to learned their lesson if they decided to judge your precious pinkie.

he is very picky of what you wear and where you go

“no, you can not wear that, cover up,” he whined.

“please, as if you are not showing your whole upper body,” you slapped his abs.

“no, this is different!” he raised his arms. “there are boys drooling over you wherever you go! do not think i didn’t notice.”

“it is normal of our culture! na’vis wear this!” you complained.

“i’ll tell mom you’ve been seeing a boy out,” he raised his eyebrows.

“nete! we are just friends!”

“then cover up.”

“fine!”

whenever the boys are in trouble, you have to go bring them back. dragging them by their ears are your favorite method.

now, they’ve learned when does your footsteps mean trouble from mom and dad.

“shit! she’s coming! run!” lo’ak tapped his brother.

“neteyam! lo’ak! i am not covering for you this time!”

“then, catch us!”

“don’t make me count!”

buttt, you still covered for them because they are your beloved brothers.

patching them up most of the time. kiri is also there to help you patch them up.

kiri and tuk are your angels for lifeee. teas? spilled. you guys have girls night all thetime.

the girls like to roam the forest floor and sometimes the lab. you knew kiri and grace have a special connection, and you were there to support here through the hard times.

kiri is your spiritual sister, Period. she loves to nap in the forest with you and swim in the waterfalls.

tuk is your baby, she is so supportive and lovely to be around. your baby sister who backs you up all the time.

when mom and dad goes too harsh on you, neteyam and tuk is always there to hold you up.

spider tho. no particular comment. you had always smelled stinky feelings towards him since the beginning, but seeing your siblings grow fond of him you didn’t say anything.

he is very friendly, to the point of being weird to you. you remember to keep a distance from him

bantering with neteyam all. of. the. time. who’s older or younger, classic. who’s taller, well, you kinda gave up after puberty hit him like a BUS

you are also protective of him. girls are always surrounding him with gifts and flowers. some even took an extra step to spy him through you.

nope, not happening.

-spoilers!!-

the metkayina welcomed you guys with hospitality and same hostile behavior. which you didn’t mind, considering your dad brought much trouble to them.

you tried to be invisible to most of the people, staying away on the beach, swimming alone, or watching the sunset.

ao’nung took advantage of your solitude to make friendship. easy to say that your brothers are not happy with his attempts.

you agreed to talk with him as long as he stop bothering kiri, which he agreed swiftly. he didn’t agree swiftly to stop bothering neteyam and lo’ak, tho. but he gave in in the end.

“you have to breath in from here,” ao’nung grabbed his abs, sort of what flexing, you noticed.

“okay,” you breathed in deeper than you normally do, earning a chuckle from him seeing your puffed cheeks.

“not your cheeks, here,” his hand claps your area of shown stomach. unknowingly, his hand was burning on your skin.

“are you sick, ao’nung? your hands and face are burning,” you touched his forehead.

“oh! no! definitely not! i am fine!” he flinched his hands back. “so- sorry.”

“hey! great! you are learning to apologize!” you giggled at his words.

“only to you,” he mumbled under his breath.

“what?”

“oh, nothing,” he replied.

“y/n! let’s go! dad’s calling!” neteyam ran over to you. “look who’s here, trying to get my sister?” (giving the eyes)

“you shut up!” ao’nung retorted back.

“hey! he’s not and don’t call my brother that, you guys apologize to each other…nete”

“s..sorry” “sorry”

for someone with ego as big as his, you taught him to become more selfless. the way your father taught you since a youngling. his parents were amazed by your successful attempts and welcomed you heartwarmingly.

his sister, tsireya, welcomed you with love and affection. she is quite the opposite of her brother, which you appreciated it quite a lot.

whenever your mom needs a second hand you will always be there for her. hugging her daily and giving her comfort. neytiri sings you daily to sleep just as it was in the jungle.

…and the war came, that demon you always loathed.

“y/n! y/n! no!” neteyam tried to keep your head above the water as he is fighting against the wave himself. “bro! take her!”

“shit!” lo’ak took your body on his ilu and cradled you in his arms.

“fuck! she took the shot for me, lo’ak! what am i going to do!”

“should’ve left her dead, bro,” spider said emotional-less.

“SHUT UP! TAKE HER TO DAD NOW!” neteyam commanded lo’ak who hurriedly tightened his grip on you.

“couz, do you know what the fuck did you just said!” lo’ak called his ilu to take off while neteyam is holding on to its harness.

“she said she will sacrifice herself for her family, and this is what exactly what it is!” spider shouted back. “she wants to be with eywa! back when we were younger!”

“we’ll get back with you, spider!” neteyam shouted as he fought back the waves. “you are fucking mad! she’s our sister! I’ll never lose her to a fucking bullet! pray for yourself that I’ll not pluck your eyeballs out!”

…

“DAD!” lo’ak called out jake on the rock. “bro watch her head!” lo’ak, neteyam, and tsireya lowered your body softly on the rough surface. everyone can hear their heartbeat as well as the liquid in their teary eyes.

“fuck, pressure! apply pressure on her!” jake took neteyam’s hand and place it on her blood soaked chest. neteyam placed his shaky hands as heavy as he could on your chest to stop your blood.

“it’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay,” your dad muttered to your fading sight.

“d- dad, i want to go home,” you sobbed, as each word hurts to mutter out.

“i know, i know, we’re going home,” he smiled softly at you, trying to keep himself together.

“no, no, no, no, no,” neytiri held your body tightly. she cradled your face in her soft hands. you remember these soft hands, they are the one who brought you to bed every night, the ones who took care of you when you are sick, and the one who held you when you first broke your heart. now you felt as if you are breaking their hearts.

“i- i- mom- dad-“ you can’t help but your body is shaking hardly.

“yes, sweetheart?” “yes, babygirl?” your mom and dad replied softly and everything blacks out.

…

“no! nooo! y/n!” neytiri screamed her heart out, her hands traveled around your head and held it close to her chest. as if she is trying to retrieve her last memory like the first time she was breast-feeding you. “my child! my daughter!”

your brothers held your body close to them as well. neteyam taking your hand and knitting his ring with your pinkie finger, “you promise! you promised!”

“neytiri, neytiri,” jake held her closely. “they have our daughters, i need you to be strong.”

“let’s take our daughters back.” from that moment on, her eyes became as emotional less as a robot, grabbing her bow she took off.

“stay with your sister!” jake commanded.

…

“what are you doing, mad animal! i don’t even care for that child!”

“A CHILD FOR A CHILD”

part 2

today’s a great day to take care of yourself, 🤍

#neteyam x reader #lo’ak x reader #kiri x reader #jake sully #neytiri #avatar x reader #avatar imagine #avatar the way of water #fanfiction #neteyam imagine #lo’ak imagine #avatar

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aingeal98 · 7 months

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It's so funny to me that when Barbara was living as a child with her parents and her younger brother, she was relatively free from eldest daughter syndrome. Sure all of James's issues probably pushed her towards being more independent and self sufficient so she wouldn't give her dad more stress, but it wasn't really too different to how she would have been as an only child (which she basically was for most of history since James wasn't relevant to her until the black mirror storyline).

But then once she actually becomes part of the batfamily? The completely not nuclear, not blood related, sometimes just coworkers or a relative of a friend, family? The eldest daughter syndrome goes ham. She's fighting Bruce all the time, she's looking after the younger vigilantes like Tim who's definitely not like a little brother to her nope. She's coparenting Cass and arguing stuff like "No Bruce you can't let the 17 year old live permenantly in a cave because she's not an actual fucking bat and she does actually need a normal life." even though she's less than 15 years older than Cass and Bruce is old enough to be her father. She's sympathising with Dick while at the same time knowing that they'll both always view Bruce differently, with Dick affording him a more charitable interpretation.

She reaches 30 with grey hairs not from the amount of life or death missions she's coordinating, but from the pure eldest daughter syndrome that comes with being the oldest non Bruce member of the batfamily. She can't even get a vacation because Bruce sneakily turns it into a Misson to prove how Cass doesn't WANT vacations Barbara. See how I'm right and you're wrong. Why are you mad I'm definitely behaving like an adult and not forcing the burden of emotional maturity onto you.

Barbara Gordon relates to every single eldest daughter post made on the Internet and her actual younger brother being a serial killer who kidnapped her doesn't even factor into it. That's just business as usual but dealing with the batfamily? She's retweeting every single tweet about how eldest daughters deserve financial compensation.

#dc #barbara gordon #batfam #dc rambles

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sprinklersart · 1 year

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Kazansky siblings ft. Mav (+ some cringe thoughts on family dynamics under the cut)

Tom is Alicia Florrick eldest sister coded. He must be perfect he must not be a burden if he causes any issues at all it will rock the boat and he does not want yo rock the boat. If he excels he will stand out and be appreciated. He must be good. He cannot be perfect (gay) so he must be ya know? His parents have been on the precipice of divorce for a decade by the time he’s 17 (he’s been rooting for them to get it over and done with since he was 11). They don’t need any of his shit to deal with too. Sarah on the other hand is younger sister coded. She has her own shit going on. Unlike ice she didn’t realize divorce was on the horizon until it was right in front of her and an already rebellious streak was exacerbated. She’s an emotions first consequences second kind of person and can be a little selfish although can you really blame her? Amy is the true youngest sister but she’s got that bonus baby ten years younger than her siblings thing happening. Ice and Sarah are super different but have a forged in fire closeness. Amy is just kinda vibing outside of them. She grew up with her parents divorce being a done deal by her 6th birthday and thus in a much chiller environment. Ice left huge expectations and Sarah left none so whatever Amy did was good enough. She feels a little left out and left behind sometimes but only when reminded that she’s not like actually an only child. At 34 Ice is a USNA grad like his father with an exceedingly impressive career and huge things to come but with no wife or girlfriend to show for it. At 31 Sarah is finding her footing after a bit of a wild 20s with a nursing degree and job. At 22 Amy is going to grad school for writing thinking how lucky she is Sarah turned her back on the navy and rotc back then. It’s made her parents much more accepting of a theater degree.

#top gun #tom kazansky #pete mitchell #icemav #tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell #Sarah kazansky #julianna margulies is sarah kazansky TO ME #rachel mcadams was a bonus addition for youngest kazansky sibling but I think it works #all three have: moles/freckles #naturally brownish hair #big teeth with similar wide smiles #noticeable eyebrows #triangle noses #so I’m pretty happy with the casting for a first thought best thought thing #also I like that ice is quite a bit taller. gangly bitch would’ve been so uncoordinated in high school #and despite that 17 year old ice is still completely unknowable to his sisters #like that’s our gangly bitch of a brother he likes to play lacrosse and swim and drive us to school #beyond that? idk ask me again when I’m 30 and we have fully developed brains #that John mulaney but when he’s like ‘none of us really know our fathers anyways’ but its for eldest siblings #gotta post all my silly topgun stuff before I get justified pilled in a few months what an existence I live huh

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jeweled-blue-eyes · 2 months

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How the hell does Derrick have so much authority over Penelope? Something I never understood was how it was possible that Derrick, being only the eldest brother, could grant harsh punishments such as feeding his younger sister bread and water or restricting her mobility, without even consulting his father, the Duke. Clearly they have given me more power than a simple brother should have in my opinion, I am an only child so I don't know much about sibling dynamics, but it seems strange to me that Derrick has more influence in Penelope's life than her own father at the point. That when she is arrested, he is the one who goes to visit her. Don't you think that in a situation like this the legal guardian should go?

what is an elder brother if not a second absent father? From the start Derrick seemed to me more like an abusive guardian than an elder brother. His actions towards Penelope were never those of a brother towards a sister. Their relationship was not sibling like. In a similar manner I don't view Reynold and Derrick's relationship as very brotherly. It might have been different once. Before Ivonne disappeared. He helped Reynold and Ivonne sneak out to visit the festival, didn't he? Disobeying his father, that doesn't sound like something the Derrick we know would do. But something in Derrick must have changed after he lost his little sister and made him crave control.

Their relationship would be more comparable to a guardian and ward. I hesitate to call it parentification, because Derrick absolutely did not meet the emotional needs of Reynold and Penelope (he probably barely interacted with Penelope) but I do think he took to some degree care of Reynold in a way their father failed them. I believe he had to grow up too early and that his childhood was cut short given the fact that he had to be prepared to become the next head of the Eckart duchy and their father had likely fallen into a depression after experiencing the loss of his most treasured child. Perhaps Derrick wanted to share his father's burden and offered to take on some of his tasks. Such tasks may have also included looking after the children that the duke was neglecting over his grief at Ivonne's disappearance. Making sure Reynold doesn't stray away from the right path and gets in trouble, being in charge of punishments for minor offenses that he considers too unimportant to bother his father about, ironing out his mistakes, overseeing his education, budgeting etc. You can see where I'm going with this: Derrrick was a person of authority in Reynold's life (hc). And I think that's how he became easily a person of authority in Penelope's life as well. If Derrick did his role so well with Reynold then this could explain why the Duke entrusted him with Penelope. Though I suspect that most often the Duke had no idea what kind of punishments Derrick was handing out to Penelope. I can imagine that at the start Derrick was asking his father for permission for every little thing that eventually the Duke just handed a share of his power over to Derrick. And when he noticed that Derrick acted independently he found that it had a positive impact on their family interests, which caused him to have a little bit too much trust in Derrick's judgement without checking.

Unusual circumstances forced Derrick into the role of the little Duke to support his father and unconsciously everyone around him started to get used to it. Derrick gaining more power over his siblings than he should have wasn't seen as something weird, because he was a precocius child and already preparing to follow into his father's footsteps as the next Duke anyway. Everyone else was so busy searching for Ivonne or offering their condolences, they had forgotten completely that they still had two other children in the house which were in need of parental care.

In my opinion part of the reason had to do with their father's mental state and inability to act as a guardian, part was Derrick's overqualification in certain fields that made people trust him to take on tasks that they would not have given other kids his age typically, part was that his status as the Eckart heir lifted him above his siblings and he would enjoy certain privileges that were connected to serious responsibilities in the future that neither of his siblings would have to fullfill. I think Penelope's gender also played a major role given that they were living in a patriarchy where the domination of women through their male relatives and spouses was normalized. The story is set in a historically western inspired world but the author herself is Korean. It is possible that some Confucian ideas of filial piety still made it into the text.

Lastly there was the underlying idea that Penelope had to prove herself worthy of the Eckart name. If Derrick's treatment of her was that of a master to his servant or a noble to a commoner instead of a brother to his sister or a nobleman to a noblewoman then it was condoned because no one viewed Penelope as an Eckart except for her stepfather. The staff acted under the assumption that Penelope was living there temporary and would be thrown away once the true lady had returned. Even if some of them had objections they were in no position to voice them. Only very few would intervene in other people's family affairs.

As for why Derrick went to visit Penelope in prison instead of his father: plot related reasons. Love interests are generally given more screentime than side characters such as parents. Penelope's situation also wouldn't have looked that bleak if instead of her brother her father had come. Unlike Derrick the Duke would have shown that he cared. Besides the scene of Penelope trapped behind bars was important, it was meant to parallel the bird in the cage that Derrick gifted her and would serve as a hint that Derrick's desire for Penelope was dark and possessive.

I can also imagine that their father was doing paperwork, looking for a good lawyer or meeting with influencial people and trying to negotiate better conditions for Penelope in the meantime.

#vadd #villains are destined to die #death is the only ending for a villainess #ditoeftv #derrick eckart #reynold eckart #penelope eckart #vadd headcanons #anon #answered asks

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crows-home · 9 months

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Do you sometimes wonder if Maria had oldest daughter síndrome ™ and what was going through her head while they were haunting down his little baby brother who she never was able to protect and knows how poorly he is treated by everyone else but her ?

hooooo boy ok. i have so many thoughts about Maria Robotnik anon. You're lucky i have free time right now to ramble.

THIS ENDED UP SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD SORRY LMAOOOO

Maria is somewhat of a blank slate, no? at least, she was in the beginning. Her main purpose was "tragic backstory." and there's something to be said about girls/women in media and their only roles being support for the male characters and their arcs. but those are big conversations that other people are more verbose in digging into. also i'm sleepy.

Maria, to me, has always been a blank slate. If not, she's always been the "perfect, proper, glass child." Poor Maria, so soft-spoken, so kind, but sick. She died sacrificing herself, don't you feel bad for her?

i don't think Maria has eldest daughter syndrome. It's something adjacent, though. It's a suppression of emotions, especially negative ones, that can be seen as eldest daughter syndrome. It's the expectations that have been put on her, by herself, to be kind, be courteous, be good.

Because Maria has a terminal illness, perhaps since she was born. The people in her life care about her so much, her grandfather takes her to space because it lessens her condition, there is a massive project going on to save her life!!

Maria doesn't get to be sad. She doesn't get to be angry. She can't show any of these emotions, can't scream and cry about how unfair all this is, can't speak out against people talking like they've already lost her when she's right fucking here. She can't be "difficult". Because her family has given so much to her, for her. They're so sad when they look at her, she can tell. So, I think, Maria puts this pressure on herself. To smile and be happy and positive, so as to not worry or bother anyone.

Children do that, when they perceive themselves to be a burden. It doesn't matter if they're explicitly told that or not. Maybe the adults in their life tell them "God, taking care of you is so expensive. Do you know how much better things would be if you weren't here?" Or maybe their family is loving, but at the end of the day, they see their parents struggling to pay bills, struggling to put food on the table, and wonder "Is it because of me? Am I weighing them down?"

So they become what I like to call "low-maintenance." Never taking more than is needed, because they're hyper aware of the resources they're taking. They make sure to stay happy and agreeable, because they don't want to cause trouble or bother anyone.

In my head, this is where Maria was at. She was happy, sure! No doubt, she loved her family and her grandfather and she loved Earth so much, so desperately did she want to be a part of it.

But she could never talk about the ugly bits. About her anger and frustration and even the depressing thoughts.

I think she started to with Shadow.

Here's her little brother, this little guy that was born from a test tube to be her cure, but has a soul all his own. Who she could talk to about these tough things.

"I sometimes wonder why I was created," Shadow might say.

And Maria, her soul aching, understands.

They come to their own conclusions, on the ARK, about who they are. Shadow is treated like an experiment, a pet, a thing, rarely ever with respect. By most, except for Maria. Maria looks at Shadow and sees family.

With Shadow, she can be moody. She can be snappy. Shadow can be silly and as unserious as he wants without constantly being under the proverbial magnifying glass. They are siblings, that's what they do!!! They don't have to put up this front like they do in front of other people. They don't have to be perfect when they're around each other.

"I feel guilty," Maria might say. Her voice might quiver and shake, like she's admitting something damning. "For existing, sometimes."

Shadow, absolutely floored by the admission that his sister is not always happiness and sunshine, understands.

I love headcanons and aus where Maria is allowed to be just a Weird Little Girl or really get into what she might have been into (goth, macabre, art, etc.) It gives her depth. It gives her life.

So I imagine all this, all the ways this young girl kept herself amicable and calm and pleasant, because she's so afraid of being anything but. Then I imagine all of it coming away when she's with her brother.

Then I imagine her running down the hall, grabbing his hand as the alarms blare. She is filled with love and hope for a world that she was never sure she would get to see. But by God, Shadow will see it. I imagine that there was always the possibility of death looming over her life, and the bullet just sealed it. I imagine the guilt that she feels when she pushes the button that sends him down. I imagine the fear and sadness she feels at the thought of him being alone, ultimately knowing there's nothing she can do. But hoping it was enough.

#answers #pobre payasito #sth #maria robotnik #sorry anon idk if this is what u were expecting #did i project a little? whos to say.#look if i think about maria and shadow too long i will cry #i have a wip thats just of maria. about her life and what she might have gone through. i need to finish it...#sorry my words arent very pretty. this is sloppy. my brain is mush and im really tired but. i needed to get this out.#i think about maria robotnik so much. theres so much i didnt include in this post. im too tired to.#but i mainly focussed on the eldest sister thing and what she was thinking about with shadow #ok gn everyone

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decoloraa · 4 months

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„There are responsibilities that come with your name and status.“

The story of Val is one with a doomed narrative, or at least he sees it as such. Being the eldest son of an important family, Val is burdened with many expectations, one of them is finding a wife and getting children.

For years women will try to win his heart or his parents will go and arrange meetings with women, urging their son to make a decision. Every time Val brushes them off, shows himself differently to make sure their desire for him is gone, all to escape from his fate.

Yet with each woman getting turned down, another awaits in hopes of marrying into a rich family. Val only manages to push his fate away shortly. The expectations of his parents will never change and it‘s only a matter of time until Val resigns to his inevitable fate of marrying someone he doesn‘t love.

Val thinks that one day he will have to chose the lesser evil, by picking someone that seems bearable. Until that day the engagement ring he will some day be forced to gift will heavy as a stone. He‘s trapped by the small object as it resembles the reign his parents have over him.

Why doesn‘t Val just cut ties with his family if he doesn‘t marry and suffers so much under his parents expectations?

It definitely isn‘t the status or the money that comes with this life. Maybe at the beginning when he was freshly at Briggs, because there he is used to living with the standards of high society. However over time he learns that he doesn‘t need the food, parties and especially not the fake politeness.

However despite the dread he feels at the thought of having to tie himself to a woman and to Central City, he never cuts ties with his parents and keeps chasing their approval. Because in the end, they still are his parents, even after all the emotional strain. Val, like every other human being, seeks contact and community. Cutting off his parents would mean cutting off everything he grew up with.

Even if his name doesn‘t carry the same importance to him as it does to his father, Val IS a Beauxclaire and he‘s proud of it. It‘s part of his identity, engrained in him ever since he was a child.. His fear of what would come if he were to sever his ties to this life outweighs his dread of having to marry one day.

So in the end he does what he always does whenever he visits his parents and has to meet another potential fiancé: He drives her off to protect his freedom and to escape from his doom a little bit longer. Val despises doing this, but it‘s all he can do.

There is no way his parents would ever accept that he just stayed unmarried and they would certainly never accept that he‘s gay.

Val‘s story is about self-acceptance and learning to stand up to oneself. But it‘s also about how tight a person‘s grip can be on you, even if that person isn‘t good for you, which is the case with Val and his father.

Despite everything that happens, Val will always seek his father‘s love. Even if he never saw it before, even if it forever will be out of his reach.

Or, at least Val will never be able to sever himself from all of this from his own strength.

Uh since a lot of my oc lore is about toxic family and horrible father’s, I‘d like to add at the end that my family is great and not toxic. I just like writing these things, I‘m not trying to process something with this fgkjffdgfd

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pierrai · 3 months

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I absolutely adored your previous request!!! If possible, I'd like to request a continuation of that scenario with more in-depth details! I wodner whether Alastor actually has any feelings for his sibling or whether it's purely his possessiveness and manipulation flaring up...

Of course! Thank you for the request! I hope this will be a satisfying continuation for you ^^

Character: Alastor Catesby Word Count: 1872 Scenario: Alastor with a sibling he was close to in his childhood PT 2 Warnings: Incest

Alastor

Alastor's feelings towards you are nothing if not messy.

They're fuelled by a myriad of toxic emotions and even worse, actual affection.

If Al could simply detach himself from the deeper emotions he feels for you, then he likely wouldn't feel the need to keep you bound to him in the first place. It's a complicated mix of feelings that's definitely not aided by the fact that he can never quite be forthright with confronting them. As always, he just expects them to work themselves out, and expects you to somehow guess at how he's feeling well enough to please him.

The relationship between the two of you probably hasn't faired extremely well throughout the years. Al constantly titters on the edge of being disowned, and if not for Orion's efforts to placate your parents, and your (intended or unintended) distractions, he likely would've found himself on the streets by now. As you are the sibling that's always been closest to Al, and evidently not the eldest child of the family with as many burdens on your shoulders, it's you who has to deal with the barely hidden disapproval from your parents when Al's behaviour isn't corrected. He's your brother, not your child, so it hardly seems fair that you get blamed alongside him.

So when this bitterness predictably rises to the surface, threatening the convenient relationship Al is perfectly content with, he doesn’t exactly react well. It was exactly that that led him to take more drastic measures in forcing you to stay with him. When his attempts at ignoring your complaints don’t work (you’ve always chastised him in one way another, but so has his whole family, and you always fold to him eventually and let him do as he pleases) he realises he needs to do more to keep you under his thumb. He hates when things don’t go his way, but this is an issue he’s entirely certain he can solve with his usual tactics. Even if he is your brother.

The slope down into degeneracy of sleeping with your own brother was slow at first. The first time it'd happened, you'd felt awful for weeks afterwards. Your parents had always instilled noble ideals into you, and that included chastity. It was something you and all your siblings (apart from Alastor) had followed into your teenage years, never to be tempted by something so filthy and unbecoming. Sex was for procreation only, and only with a marriage partner, so what would you dear and noble parents think if they knew that your first time had been not with your lawfully wedded spouse, but your own brother.

It had been a mess of coercion, lust and alcohol. Enough alcohol that you can say you weren't entirely in control of your actions, but clearly not enough to forget how they'd felt at the time nor stop yourself from going along with them. Al had encouraged you to drink more and more all evening, switching between numerous topics—namely, family, work, your responsibilities—to tempt you to take more and more sips of the whiskey he'd provided. Life sure was stressful as of late, wasn't it?

He'd enjoyed watching you become more and more tipsy as the evening progressed, then mildly inebriated, then just flat out drunk. He'd been drinking too, but clearly he could hold his liquor more than you, having far more practise. Drinking around Al of all people never seemed like a good idea considering how mischievous he was, but it was an activity you did often (often meaning it was almost always at Al's insistence) and so that night, much to his pleasure, you’d not refused when he visited your chambers with a bottle and two glasses in hand, eager to spend the evening with you. Even if you’d been angry at him as of late, you’d still given him your company. So nice of you.

Only when Al started cosying up to you did things become suddenly awkward. You told him so. This was uncomfortable—does he have to sit so close? There's plenty of room for him to not be practically sat on your lap. He brushed it off by laughing at you. Stop being such a prude all the time. The way his hands were touching you, the way his body pressed against yours... his actions were purposefully subtle, that way he could and would blame you for what proceeded to happen after the fact, but they were just enough that they gleamed a reaction out of you anyway. An uncomfortable reaction he could tell you didn’t exactly want, yet neither could you deny.

He insisted this wasn't something you had to be ashamed of. No, this was just your body's natural reaction to such stimulus. Why deny how you feel? You must be so worked up... Al offered to oh-so-benevolently relieve you of your stress and before you could even think to refuse, he was already—quite literally—taking matters into his own hands. One thing led to another, and you were being swept along in his touch, his mouth, his body. He didn't leave you much choice in the matter, groping and touching and staking his claim over you. It was like he was trying to devour you whole.

Yet, as soon as you reciprocated in the slightest, he all but bowed to your will. He'd worked you up till this point, building up this tension little by little, until he knew you were in too deep to go back. He prefers taking control, but just this once, he’d let you do whatever you wanted to him. You could take him however you wanted. It was your first time after all, shouldn’t it be enjoyable for you? Demeaning himself and letting others take control wasn’t something he was unfamiliar with, and though he usually looked down on partners of his that pathetically wanted to dominate him (as if they actually had any power over him) with you, his amusement was more akin to excitement. He revelled in the way you crumbled at his touch and took control. This was an achievement. Getting you to want him.

He wondered if you’d even remember everything you did when you woke up the next morning. He wasn’t nearly as drunk as you were, so he could remember every moment, and as fun as it would be to exaggerate the truth of what happened, make you seem more of a degenerate than you actually were, more than that, he wished you’d just remember the true events for yourself. Truth be told, the night you spent together was the most fun he’d had sleeping around in a while. He wanted to share that with you.

Regardless of whether your memory was hazy or not, Al purposefully slept in that morning to ensure that the first thing you’d see when you woke up was him naked, lying right beside you in your own bed, sleeping cosily as if he had no troubles at all.

You distanced yourself after that, and even though that dissatisfied Al, he knew why. It didn’t really matter to him. He knew he could get you back. He knew despite your loyalty to your parents, not even your guilt could bring you to admit what you had done to them. Al simply has a way with both his actions and his words that keeps you stuck with him. He's addicting, purposefully so, reigning you in just enough that cutting him off will feel cruel. You don’t need to feel bad about what you did. He was fine with it—he enjoyed it!

He’s going to wear you down, ignoring your guilt and shame and disgust so he can tempt you more and make you accept that this is simply how things are now. It doesn’t matter what you do, you’ve tasted him once, you’ll do so again.

He'll keep you hooked to him and his body, forcing physical intimacy upon you when you dare to bring too much attention to his problematic behaviour, or invoking the sibling bond you have when he needs you to be close to him emotionally.

He doesn't want to hear about how what he's doing is wrong. You enjoy it anyway, don't you? He knows what he's doing. He has enough experience to see you're enjoying yourself. You've probably always been this messed up, haven't you? Why not just keep going? Unfortunately for you, he is good at what he does, no matter what position he takes during your nights together after the first, and resisting isn't so easy.

And for the most part, that position is one of dominance. He loves having control over you and getting you to submit to him. He loves that you simply need him. You can’t go without him. He wants you to know that too. Wants you to know how much you love this, love him, love when he pleases you like this. Being forced into submission is probably the only way he could engage in less than savoury activities with you anyway with how guilty you acted about the whole thing. Better he be the one to guide you—to dominate you.

Only after you’ve gotten used to your new ‘sibling activities’ will he finally let you take control of him. When you finally get too caught up and reciprocate too eagerly, actively wanting more of what he’s offering, will he once again let you do as you please. It comes as a surprise to Al that he doesn’t entirely mind this. Someone like him who loves his high horse of control and dominance, he was simply fine with you taking the reins instead of him. He even enjoyed it.

He won’t admit it—he can’t—but as much as he’s gotten you to rely on him, trapping you in a cycle of guilt, grief and comfort, he relies on you far more than he’d like. Why was it that he craved affection from you? He loved raw lust and want, but he wanted, even if just occasionally, something gentle from you.

The nights you spend together feel less like fucking and more like love-making at times. Al is a selfish man after no one’s satisfaction but his own, but during those times, he finds himself wanting to please you even if there’s no need, just so he can see the face you’ll make when he does something right. All he can do is tell himself that it makes him feel good too to see you so smitten with him.

Your relationship is completely imperfect, complicated and messy. It has its constant ups and downs with your difference in morals and the naturally immoral nature of your relationship. Family drama never helps either, of course.

Al wants to use you like he uses others, keep you by his side as a constant just so you can be at his disposal whenever he needs whilst he’s still free to have whoever else he wants on the side, but it’s frustratingly difficult to have things that way. To him, there was no need to think of you as anything more than a sibling that he owns, and one that he just so happened to be sleeping with to control. It was a drastic measure, that was all. There’s no need to think of you as anything more—no need to want anything more from you than what he already had. No need at all.

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cherry-treelane · 9 months

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rolling my eyes can my friend seriously fuck off. no you are not the eldest daughter no you do not understand what its like to be one you are an ONLY CHILD. BEING THE FIRST GRANDDAUGHTER IN YOUR FAMILY DOESNT MEAN SHIT, EVEN IF YOU LIVE WITH YOUR AUNT AND GRANDMA AND COUSINS TOO! everytime i talk about my day and mention an event which occurred that represents the eldest daughter struggle shes like "ugh i so relate to the eldest daughter anger but for totally different reasons—" YEAH. THOSE "TOTALLY DIFFERENT REASONS" BEING THAT YOU ARE AN ONLY CHILD. and moreso, an only child with two loving present parents. seriously dont even try to sympathise with me. and when i softly tell her,"sure... youre an only child with your own set of problems that i can imagine are really annoying", she hits me with "you’re forgetting i’m the oldest in both sides of family...i am the first child in my family"

No. I did not forget. But I sure as fuck disregarded it completely to the point it didnt cross my mind, because it doesn't mean SHIT. You don't have to deal with favourtism/preferential treatment, or the overwhelming pressure of young psuedo-motherhood, or the stress and worry, or the burden of debilitating depression which has to be forcefully ignored due to the responsibility of two children...and if I keep going I'll get even more worked up, because I can already feel my blood boiling a little, so I'll stop now. But I could go on all day. Instead, I'll take out my frustrations by listening to music that consists of women beautifully expressing their rage (amongst other complex emotions that I resonate with) and overlining my eyes with kohl and lips with plum lipstick cause being dramatic is very cathartic

#i just want to blow my brains out at the stupidity of people #why must i have to deal with this #she doesnt fucking get it she just doesnt #i hate when people who have more than me try to sympathise with a struggle they have never and will never experience #i barely drink yet i still wish i had some tequila with me right now because fucking hell

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decayedhearts · 2 years

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Why Trey bakes when no one is hungry

This is just my headcanon so if you disagree, that’s fair ✌

On why Trey is not a “good” friend and why he bakes sweets as if that could cure all ailments of this world.

On a surface level Trey seems like the kind of guy you’d wanna be friends with. He is reliable, friendly, mature, calm. He helps Riddle handle the duties of a dorm leader, he bakes for the tea parties, he’s a good student. He gives life and study and health tips (e.g. how to brush your teeth well, how much to sleep, etc.) and he’s overall a good role model for younger students. He might not be your best friend, but he is that big brother type you know will at the very least listen to your problem and give some kind of advice, and not yell at you or make fun of you (beyond some teasing). He can offer words of encouragement and tell you life is hard sometimes but with the right attitude and a little effort you can get through the rough patches. He might even offer his company when you have to study for something, or offer tips and info he has on school traditions, classes, history, teachers - anything his experience and age help with. Trey will tell you if your school uniform is dirty and your manners will get you in trouble.

And he will bake for you. He will bake for everyone and make a little extra to cheer you up. He might even stay up half the night to bake something just to make you feel better. Everything he bakes is pretty and delicious; sweet, fruity, chocolatey - whatever you desire. It’s effort but doable, never inappropriate, it shows that he acknowledges you’re upset and that he cares.

And it is the absolute extent of what Trey is capable of giving.

He’s not stupid. He knows how much Riddle is suffering as well as he knows that his behavior is (was) not okay. After all, he’s seen how Riddle was treated as a child, and is still treated now. He sees that Cater is suffering and that his smiles are as fake as his entire online persona. He sees it so well he could bring both of them down with a few words if he dared to do so: but he never does. And it’s not because he doesn’t care about them or convinced himself “they’ll be fine”. It’s because he can’t handle the consequences. Bringing up these issues would place an enormous burden on him, a responsibility he can’t shoulder. Because you can’t call your best friend out on his massive depression or your other best friend on his raging eating disorder and fucked up relationship with his mom, and then just drop it when it gets too intense, can you? And sharing the pain of someone you care about so much feels like a knife in your own heart, especially when you can’t help them out of it. It’s fucking draining.

So he doesn’t even let it get that far.

This is not a conscious decision. He’s not sitting in his room thinking “I don’t want to be responsible for helping Riddle through his pain, so I will pretend it doesn’t happen”, it’s a subconscious coping mechanism. There is so much responsibility constantly on Trey’s shoulders, which he doesn’t make visible, that he simply lacks the emotional capacity to be the kind of friend Riddle and Cater need. The things we learn about his family imply that he’s always had a lot of eldest son/eldest brother responsibilities from a very young age and that his parents heavily rely on him (e.g. he made Halloween costumes for his younger siblings, and his holidays always mean working at his parents’ shop). The time during his childhood when he played with Riddle may very well have been the last time Trey got to play without this kind of burden on his back as well. (Let’s not forget when Riddle’s mom found out about their playdates, she scolded Trey and his family for hours. There’s no way a 10-year-old would not take away some damage from that.)

And you look at him and you just know he’s never complained about that. He should have been outside playing but he helped his mom prepare an order for the next day. He wanted to relax and finally read a book he got for his birthday months ago but Halloween was coming up and his siblings were upset because dad had no time to make their costumes. (Trey didn’t have a costume after a certain age; there was no time.) He wanted to come back from school and sleep in, but “Trey is home” is the only time his parents get to take a break from their job and from their other children. Trey is home means Trey needs to be his best to be a good son and a good brother, a real help at the shop, and probably a bit of a therapist for all the things that happened between his parents or his parents and his siblings while he was away at school.

And he’s only 18.

He’s a little creepy sometimes, almost as if there’s some other side of him shining through, and that might be exactly what it is. On the one hand there’s a side of him buried beneath that dutiful son persona that has very different ideas of life, but that side has been repressed for so long that he’s become bitter, and bitter caged things tend to turn cruel. On the other hand what creeps you out is his indifference. You don’t notice at first, but once you do, you can’t unsee that his responses lack genuineness. He might say “that’s terrible” but even as he says it his mind rejects this truth, and the result is an utter lack of (re)action where it’s direly needed. Of course he wants Riddle’s suffering to end; of course he wants Cater to be happier. But he can’t be responsible for it; he can’t carry that. He can’t let that suffering take roots in his heart. It takes all the strength he has to appear like someone who has the strength it takes to care enough for his friends to compromise himself for their sake. And that’s how Trey becomes the disappointment that he is. He successfully fools you into thinking he has it all together enough to be a support, but the truth is that he’s petrified by trying to not be a hindrance.

So when Ace calls him out on being a shitty friend for not stopping Riddle and helping him, of course Trey has nothing to say for himself. He knows. And he also doesn’t. He knows he should do more but he can’t truly acknowledge that about himself. He blocks it off because acknowledging it gives him so much anxiety he can’t sleep. He simply can’t handle it; he isn’t okay, he’s not who he wants to be, where he wants to be, or even remotely on a path that leads to a future he dreams of. In fact, he stopped dreaming altogether because there is no point. He doesn’t try to fix what’s wrong with his relationship to his family either, because he’s accepted things as they are and any ambition otherwise hurts. Too much to have it. But it’s not the path of least resistance, it only feels like that. Beneath the surface it takes so much energy to be someone you don’t want to be, to put others’ needs before your own by default (and not even in a palpable visible way! in a terrifying basic way that eats away at your very core but isn’t even acknowledged by your surroundings), to be calm and mature when really you want to feel authentic for once. Trey has no energy left to take on other people’s problems; problems that are so severe and real that he can’t bear to look at them.

So he fucking bakes, because that’s what he can do.

He has no real passion for it, but he’s good at it. Strawberry tarts always make Riddle smile - and it’s so easy to make them. Cater loves taking photos of Trey’s baked goods, and he even enjoys eating them once Trey doodle suits their flavor - a trick he will gladly use for Cater any time he asks. He does help his friends, doesn’t he? He’s there if they need him, theoretically, they just.. never need him, it seems. He does little things to make them smile and remind them that he cares. Surely they understand that? He doesn’t scold them, to not make them feel bad, not beyond the scope of a normal friendship. He’s a safe space - insofar as that he’s unwaveringly static. Riddle can literally fall into pieces in front of him and Trey will not move to save him because he is scared he will crumble too. Cater can lie to his face and Trey will see right through him, maybe even tell him, but will still let him keep doing it and accept that this is how he copes, rather than ask for the reason.

#( headcanon. )#( m: trey. )#( trey: headcanon. )#it's the parents' fault #a good old classic #i am sure nobody saw that coming

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morethcnpaint · 2 years

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TOLOUSE BONFAMILLE is a 32 year old from ECHO CREEK ; works as an ART CRITIC , tolouse is BISEXUAL. his favorite song is WHAT ONCE WAS , HER’S. born on APRIL 15TH , 1989 , he is a ARIES SUN , AQARIUS MOON , CANCER RISING !

SUMMARIZED;

As a kid Tolouse masked his feelings behind a tough exterior. His parents split had affected him more than he was willing to admit to his family. So he hid behind his hurt and always took things in stride. Acting as if he was untouchable from the uncontrollable spiral called life.

Tolouse is probably the most laid-back out of all his siblings despite his headstrong tendencies. Which is to be expected from an older sibling. He’s loyal to his family even if he doesn’t see them that often. After the incident with Edgar it seemed to shake the whole family dynamic. Tolouse yearns to be close to his siblings again especially Berlioz--but he holds so much guilt for what happened to them. He was supposed to be their protector and he had failed.

HEADCANONS;

Being the Eldest Bonfamille child meant most of the family’s burdens weighed on Toulouse. His mother had high expectations out of the boy. Leaving Toulouse to feel that he had to be outstanding at anything he tried. His mother got him into the arts, dance, music and even had tutors teach the children other languages. Looking back he’s grateful for everything his mother did for him but he still wished he had a ‘normal’ childhood. He couldn’t ever remember playing with toys, only memories of playing Beethoven on the piano until his fingers ached. That talent was more suited for Berlioz anyway. Taking dancing classes with Marie as she stepped on all of his toes. Their childhood was by no means perfect but he cherished those moments with his siblings.

Toulouse enjoyed art more, but even then he never indulged too much due to his moms excessive need to butt into everything. So he found himself taking track and field instead, at least that way he didn’t have to talk to anyone whilst doing it. Tolouse yearns for control over his own life, while at the same time has a hard time getting over the trauma of what happened to him and his siblings.

While his parents spilt had caused him a lot of heartache he never really envisioned his family as a ‘broken home’. That was until the accident with Edgar happened. How was he supposed to protect his siblings when he couldn’t even protect himself? He felt like he failed his family post-edgar. Feeling guilt even at the sight of his siblings. He just felt like a massive failure in their eyes. He wants to be able to talk about it with them but he’s afraid to re-open that wound.

After trying ever talent known to man he stuck with his art and the gym. Those were the only two things that kept his anxiety at bay. Which is what ultimately drove him to take that passion to college. After he graduated he quickly was offered a job as an art critic. Judging art competitions. writing articles about new pieces and artists. It wasn’t the most exciting thing, but he loved doing it.

Most days he’s hiding behind a mask of anxiety with a charming smile. The incident is something he still hasn’t come to terms with. He’s considered therapy but also isn’t quite ready to delve into his own emotions yet either.

He has a major crush on Celine Potts. He admires her strength and complete empathetic nature. She’s always been sweet and he can’t help that feelings began to form for her, though he’s yet to tell her.

#animaniahqintro #🎨 scattered across my family line || headcanons.#i gave him lunas birthday🥺

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lucindarobinsonvevo · 3 months

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i think you described it perfectly actually because you're expecting it based on how leo/paul are actually written, how their relationship is written and the way their behaviour towards each other is portrayed but at the same time, you don't actually expect to SEE it or for the show to be so in your face about it and you especially don't expect them to do this with paul and one of his sons. father & son is just not the usual direction that media goes in with these types of relationships and yet it's exactly what neighbours have done.

it's funny, because this absolutely is not the first time neighbours has done emotional incest with paul, i mean, elle is literally right there. but the difference is that the emotional incest with elle was always a suggestion and implication. eyebrow raising, certainly, but she was never a true daughter-wife, just an aspiring one. It doesn't help that there is also the couching of elle's relationship with paul in the language of being a 'daddy's girl' therefore, a level of unhealthy emotional attachment is acceptable.

Comparatively, there is NOTHING implied about paul and leo. Everything is being said with clarity. From the opening of them walking hand in hand with Abi, to Paul's betrayed spouse routine, to Leo essentially saying he 'cant leave cause of the kids' to him chasing paul into a burning building it's like they put a big neon sign on leo's head that says 'man. this is kinda weird, huh?'

I also want to comment that I think Leo is absolutely more daughterwife than he is sonsband. Just because, I think a sonsband is way more about providing for a parent (mother in particular) as well as shouldering their emotional burdens and a daughterwife is more based in the home which seems to be where most of leo's problems lie -- if that even makes sense. Which plays way more into how conceptually, leo is coded to be an eldest daughter. Neighbours has pretty well resisted the urge to play into Paul's bisexuality since Dylan Timmins left the show, and I don't want to imply Paul has any actual incestuous feelings for Leo in that sense but like. That's interesting right? the character with the relationship to paul most like dylan is the one he's having the emtional incest affair with??

It's also interesting how this relationship has changed at the time when they are -- like elle and paul in 2007 -- basically alone together. They both don't seem to have anyone else that they can rely on at the start of the reboot. David is gone, Elly is gone, Terese and Paul are broken up and Abi is a child. But the introduction of another person, Krista, has made the relationship untenable because her presence threatens Paul and Leo from their very foundations. Someone who might make Leo act on his feeling that he needs to get away from Paul.

If I was smarter I'm sure I'd have something interesting to say about the intersection of these identities and how that gender coding is used when writing Leo and even how that can be construed as related to his race. IDK maybe he wins the award for most interesting guy of all time on neighbours. hng.

#neighbourspost #mitzianswers

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ejaydoeshisbest · 4 months

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The day before Christmas Eve. I just want to be useful. I want to give back. It isn’t about me anymore.

This happened on December 23, 2023, but only had the time (and strength) to write what happened now, January 03, 2024. This is because I felt that I was too emotional and lonely to write something so emotionally charged and depressing. What happened was I video-called my aunties as they were being festive and preparing for Christmas Eve. I was alone in the house with only my grandmother for company and combined with the feelings of anxiety, stress about the past and future, the struggle to breathe, and the isolation I felt with all my family abroad, having fun this Christmas and New Year, while all I wanted was to desperately cross the ocean to be with them, it all got to me.

I was in no-shame tears as I video-called them, my breaths hitching, my voice quaking. At the time, I cried about being a useless leech who wasted his prime years to be a couch potato, and now that I am feeling physical symptoms that make life more challenging, I regret it. If I had known that this would happen to me, I would have worked harder, summoned more patience at work, and saved more than enough money. I told them how I hated myself, and how I was disgusted with myself as the eldest son and an eldest sibling. I should be out there facing the world and its harms (like getting a job, firstly) so that I can not only be a financial burden but also be a source of financial assistance when needed. I just want to be useful. I want to give back. It isn’t about me anymore. The lies, too, got to me. I was deaf to rational but listened to the negativity in my head. (Note to self: DO NOT LISTEN TO BRAIN WHEN IT BECOMES A BULLY). I felt like a child again, asking for directions, and seeking help from older people. My aunties, of course, comforted me. They listened to me as tears flowed down my face. They shushed me when I became incoherent. They soothed me, as always. They told me that being a stay-at-home carer was a good thing. That without my help, my parents would have had a harder time situating themselves in a new place. It is a comforting, thought, but I wasn’t sure. I guess, the thing that worries me is the recurring thought of, AM I USEFUL? I know one of the solutions now: it is to avoid what I have been doing these past years. The 20s that disappeared. I wasted it all by being a lazy bastard, a depressed loner, an anxious leech. It’s time to force myself into a different mindset. I’m not sure if I can handle life, but I’ve got to believe that I’m doing good by contributing somewhat to the family. I guess it also helps to remember my dreams and daydreams and goals in the middle of all the nastiness of my surroundings. To fight for it, even if it looks bleak. The point is that it keeps me hopeful, and it keeps me happy. To not conform to society, but still participate in whatever goodness it offers. Words: Ejay Diwas Art: taken from TORRANCE on Pinterest https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/1125968650656703/

#christmas eve #loneliness #aunties #love #compassion #understanding #carer #20s #wasted #anxious #depressed #overwhelmed #useful #useless #lost #searching

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princessmia-tarot · 7 months

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Hello, How Are You? It's me again from the bottom of my heart I wanted to thank you for accepting and replying my request.

I am sorry to disturb you, I know that you are busy but you still able to find time to answer my request.

I am very sorry that my request is about family problem. This time it's also personal and it's about my siblings

: I am the eldest woman of my siblings, I have two siblings male. I am forced to grow up and I don't have any problem with my siblings but because of my parents trying to clash us and have favouritism (bullshit) sorry for my word, comparison there we felt distance to each other. My heart bleeds for my siblings because my parents want my siblings to destroy their authentic self and make them built out of expectation. I don't want to see them self destruct because It will hurt me more.

The day that I stand for this situation it gave them hope even if my parents would label me as black sheep I don't fucking care at all.

For how many years we've been caged in their expectations and traditions that hurt us more to make us think like them. But not anymore. My siblings felt that they are trapped but I wanted to get them out of here that's why I'm planning to move this year.

My questions are in this situation: If god is with me with this decision to move out. What are our siblings dynamics, do they hate me, If I am a bad person a bad daughter a bad sister to them. What would be their reaction if I would move the house with them do they hate me for this? Would they be turn like our parents, I'm scared I am very scared , AND THE WORST MY MOTHER SIDED WITH OUR FATHER WHO PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY ABUSES US.

TELLING LIKE YOUR FATHER LOVES YOU AND PROTECTS YOU BLAH BLAH BLAH PLEASSSEEE. IF YOU VICTIMIZE YOURSELF WITH YOUR TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR HUSBAND AND BLAMED IT ON US AND MAKING ITS OUR FAULT THEN BYEEEE....

YOU BLAME ME FOR BEING EMOTIONAL AND LAUGH AT ME AT MY WEAKEST DAYS .

EMASCLUNATE MY SIBLINGS SHAMING THEM FOR BEING A MAN FOR YOUR BELIEF IS THAT WOMEN ARE STRONGER THAN THEY ARE. THEY ARE ALSO HUMANS!!!!!

AAND ITS THE WORST THAT YOUR MOTHER IS EVEN YOUR GREATEST ENEMY AND MY SIBLINGS THINK OF IT TOO. MAKING OTHER STRANGER SOMEONES CHILD LIKE HER OWN AND WE FELT THAT WE ARE HER STEPDAUGHTERS AND STEPBROTHERS.

THE LONELIEST AND THE SADNESS AND THE EMOTIONS THAT I HAD WITH MY SIBLINGS IS MAKING THE FINAL DECISION TO LEAVE MY PARENTS AND IM GONNA PROVE TO THEM THAT THE WORLD IS NOT WHAT THEY TEACH US AND WE GROW AS A PERSON IN A HEALTHY AND HEALING WAY.

honestly my siblings is the only reason why I strive.

Thank you very very much for accepting, for reading having the time to reply and I love and appreciate for you for having the wisdom that you've given me in your reply. God bless, always take care♥️☺️.

Hello love,

I want to reassure you that you are not a burden, and you are always welcome here to seek guidance and support. I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficult family situation you and your siblings are going through. It takes great courage to stand up against toxic dynamics and make decisions for your own well-being and that of your siblings.

Your love and concern for your siblings are clear, and it's admirable that you want to protect them from the harm caused by your parents' toxic behavior. Moving out and creating a healthier, more nurturing environment for yourselves is a positive step toward healing and growth.

In situations like these, it's common for siblings to have mixed emotions. They may feel conflicted, torn between loyalty to their parents and recognizing the need for change. It's essential to maintain open and honest communication with your siblings. Let them know that your decision to move out is driven by love and a desire for a better life for all of you.

Your siblings may need time to process their feelings, and their reactions may vary. It's crucial to support each other during this transition and seek professional help or counseling if needed to cope with the emotional challenges that may arise.

Remember that you are not a bad person, daughter, or sister for making this decision. You are taking a brave step to break free from a toxic environment and create a healthier future. Your love and care for your siblings will shine through, and with time, they may come to understand and appreciate your efforts to protect them.

It's heartbreaking when parents don't provide the love and support their children need, but you have the strength and determination to build a better life for yourself and your siblings. Surround yourselves with positive influences, seek therapy or counseling to heal from past trauma, and continue supporting one another on this journey to a healthier and happier life.

You are not alone in this, and there are people who care about your well-being. Keep moving forward, and may you find the peace, healing, and happiness you all deserve. Please take care, and feel free to reach out whenever you need support or guidance. 💕🙏

Mia💗

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existence-is-a-sham · 2 years

Text

Car washing with ma at 7 pm. [vent]

How should I say this... I think there's something wrong with me? You know, when I was washing the car with ma, she said few advices to me.

["Care for things to make them last, don't settle for just ok," she huffed. "Your father just settles for ok, it's clean now, moving on," she told me as she swipes the leather car seats, she's annoyed now, irritated.]

I'm— I'm settling for just ok. For being just content if I can. Maybe even below that. I don't know what she'll think of me then if she finds out I'm like this(maybe I already know). I'm disappointed in myself.

[My ma looks over to the part I 'cleaned'. "Did you clean this?" She looks annoyed, angry. "I- I thought my brother was supposed to clean here?" I said, knowing that I f*cked up made a lapse of judgement, a mistake.

"Can't you do advance thinking?" She says, angry, irritated, disappointed. She proceeds to lecture me more about cleaning. To be better, to know better]

I don't think I can anymore. I can't even come up with a current right decision, what makes you think I can come up with an advanced one? I tried various humorous jokes by adding haha to the end of my thoughts to distract my self depreciation monologues but,

'Advanced thinking? Man, I don't even think haha,'

'I'm so stupid haha,'

'I'm so ugly haha,'

'hahaha...'

'.....'

Now I'm just making myself sadder. Unfortunately, adding haha to my thoughts isn't very effective. Don't think about ma saying when(if) I inherit the car.

[A car passes by our car and maybe...I look at the moving vehicle, maybe. I look away, this isn't, normal. I get back to where I'm holding my flashlight, ma's still wiping the other leather seat, no, don't.]

I think I'm depressed, maybe more. This isn't healthy. I think it's unfair. I'm privileged to be able to enjoy the luxuries of this life, I know that some people would kill for my position. Even if we're a middle class family, my ma always work herself to the bone to support us. I feel ungrateful, I shouldn't burden her with things like these that easily go away the moment I don't think about them. That I also shouldn't feel like this, but the logical part of me thinks that invalidating my emotions is wrong too. If I think about that enough, maybe I'd believe that as well.

["Compared to your uncle, who wakes up early in the morning and cleans his car properly, cleanly, your pa wakes in the morning, grabs a coffee, then just reads," ma spats, irritated at the actions of the man she married.

"He doesn't even help, he's supposed to be excited to do this," I can sense, sadness? Frustrated sadness? From her. She's, frustrated, angry? "I'm training you this so that you would know how to..." She went on about caring for things and monologuing that as a kid, my pa was probably deprived of reading cause' he grew up poor(she was poor too though) and all that so that's probably why he's always reading.]

I try not to think about the parallels of my pa and I. I'm so much like him. From reading obsessively and being so selfish and self-centered. Inheriting the negatives of my parents and being a generally bad child no parents would've wanted. I don't deserve them. Don't deserve her.

By now, I'm trying to hold back tears and trying to hold back a breakdown. I only succeeded the former though. Luckily, it was too dark to see me crying and I can disguise my sniffling as a disease my brother accidentally gave me.

I want to cry but I'm not supposed to be like this. I'm supposed to be the eldest and be mature and right, and reliable and. And not wanting to die.

I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling vulnerable.

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