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mrsbarnesblog · 7 months

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i can't let you get hurt

masterlist ko-fi ao3

Summary: You have just moved to New York, where your adopted brother Steve has been living for 5 years. Desperate to make new friends, you give the dating app another go. You didn’t even think that you would have to ask for help from the person who has not left your thoughts for the past month - your brother’s best friend.

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: fluff, reader is Steve's adopted sister, mechanic Bucky, creepy behaviour, protective Bucky.

Author's note: Does anyone know if community labels are reducing the number of likes and reblogs? because my last post received a suspiciously small amount of notes🤔 but I'm afraid to remove them because Tumblr might decide to block me again

Moving to New York was the idea that has been sitting in your head for a long period of time. Since your adopted brother Steve finished high school, he moved there without any money, without friends, and only with a lot of desires and dreams. You stayed in your small town with your and Steve’s adopted parents because you were only fifteen at the time. It’s been almost five years, and right now he owns an auto repair shop, and as far as you know, it’s a pretty successful place.

You knew that you had nothing to lose; you had no opportunities in your city, no close friends, and it was a really boring and gray life.

Steve only visited you two times, but you regularly spoke on the phone. So when your plane finally landed and you met him, you were kind of a crying mess. He was still your closest person, and you loved him with your whole heart. Steve was now much bigger, with broad shoulders and arms that were probably the same size as your head, but he still had that golden retriever energy, which you really loved.

Steve helped you find your apartment building, where you rented a small and cozy flat from a nice old lady. It wasn’t too much—just a bedroom and living room connected with a tiny kitchen and bathroom. Everything was clean, with light furniture and a lot of plants. It was actually surprising that this place had an affordable rent, and you were happy that luck was on your side.

On the next day, your brother finally showed you his famous place, which he owned with his now best friend Bucky Barnes. And talking about him, he was something else. A tall, big man with fluffy chocolate hair, stubble, and the most beautiful blue eyes you've ever seen. You knew that you were fucked as soon as he looked you directly in the eyes, shook your hand, and gave you a charming smile.

You met almost everyone in the garage. All the guys were super nice and friendly, they even showed you all of their cars that they were working with. You were happy that Steve found such a family here, they were all obviously so close to each other.

Yet, after a month here, you had almost no friends. You found a job in the coffee shop down the street, where you met an amazing redhead girl named Wanda. You chatted a lot during the work, but you two were still far from friends.

That's how you ended up here. On a date with John.

For some reason, you decided to give that stupid dating app another try. John found you there, and he seemed nice, so when on the second day he decided to invite you to a bar, you agreed without hesitation.

How long has it been since the last time someone asked you out? Year? Yes, it was a little sad to realize that no one was particularly interested in you. Before moving to New York, all the guys you talked to seemed to only want one thing, so you had high hopes for John.

Your evening went well at first. You ordered a drink and chatted. He really seemed nice. After the second drink, you decided to stop for a bit because the alcohol started to make you feel dizzy, even though John was persuading you to taste more of the cocktails that he had brought you .

"You know, I think I better slow down with drinks; I really don’t want to be drunk and embarrass myself on the first date." You pushed your glass back a little, smiling politely.

"Oh, c'mon, baby, don’t upset me." John chuckled and put his hand on yours. You awkwardly smiled, not ready for such physical contact. "You’re here alone, right?" He tilted his head, and you didn't miss how his eyes stopped at your boobs.

"Um, not exactly... I mean, I know like five people in this city, and one of them is my brother. But we don’t live together; he has his own life." John nodded his head and leaned a little closer to you.

"So it means that we can have some fun, right, baby?"

"Fun?"

"Mhm." One of his hands stayed on top of yours, and the other one suddenly fell on your leg. Your body tensed at the feeling of his fingers as they started to rub the bare skin of your inner thigh. You definitely didn’t expect it to happen. "I’ll take an Uber; we’ll go to my place, and we can continue our night. What do you think?"

"I didn’t want to—I mean, that’s not what I was looking for—I thought that we were going to just talk and drink, you know…" You tried to take his hand off of you, but his grip only became harder.

"Don’t try to run away now, baby." He grinned. "You dressed up for me, huh? Your tight little dress that shows your boobs says it all. You just want me." You felt goosebumps all over your body because of his look. It was intense and not as innocent as it was before. You felt disgusted because of his words. You wanted to look good, yes, but seducing him wasn’t part of your plan.

So what are you going to do now? You felt unsafe, and you didn’t know how you could escape this situation. He was obviously a creep, and he just wanted to have sex with you. You can’t go home because either he won't let you go or he might find out where you live.

"O-okay- um- just let me- I’ll go to the restroom real quick, and we can go, okay?" You nervously smiled and stood up, almost spilling your cocktail.

"Someone’s excited, huh?" He laughed, looking at your body up and down.

You left without an answer. You really went to the restroom because the bar was half empty, and John would’ve definitely seen you going out. Luckily, the restroom was empty. You locked the door and looked at yourself in the mirror for a few seconds, trying to figure out what to do.

You reached into your purse to get your phone. The first person that came to mind was Steve. Only long beeps were heard, and after the third call, you gave up.

"Fuck, Steve, I really need you right now." You scrolled through your contacts again. It wasn’t a lie that you knew five people from New York. Steve was not answering his phone. Your neighbor Natasha and Wanda from work, were not your close friends, so it would’ve been weird to call them because of this. There was a number of an old lady who rented you an apartment, and she was obviously not an option. And there was another person.

Bucky.

Calling him in this situation was the last thing you wanted to do. Hell, he probably won’t even answer you because he thinks that you’re just his best friend’s little sister, and he’ll definitely make fun of you about this stupid date. But you had no other variants.

"Hello?" He picked up his phone almost immediately, and you even forgot what you wanted to say. "Y/N? Are you okay?" His deep voice was full of worry, and you couldn’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach.

"H-hey, Bucky. Um… I’m really, really sorry that I’m calling you, but Steve is not picking up his phone. Do you know where he is?" You walked around the small room, trying to calm down.

"Yeah, he’s meeting with some girl he's been talking about for days. He’s probably really busy right now." He chuckled, and you felt like you were about to cry. Bucky must’ve heard your breathing change because he immediately went silent. "Doll? What happened?"

"My God, it’s so stupid…" You squeezed your eyes, not wanting to cry.

"Tell me."

"I’m at the bar. I’m on a date with a guy named John, and he became very persistent. He wants me to go to his place, but It’s- I’m not interested in this. And I can't just leave because I’m afraid that he can follow me and find out where I live… fuck I really don’t know what to do, and I wanted to ask Steve to pick me up." Your phone stayed silent for a few moments, and you already thought that he got tired of your mess and just ended the call. "Bucky?"

"Where are you? What bar? Are you in the restroom?" His voice was low, and you knew that he wasn’t happy with all of this.

"It’s that new place a few blocks away from my crib. With big neon red signs at the top. And I’m in the restroom right now."

"I’ll be there in five. Stay there and don’t open the door until you know it’s me." He said that and ended the call, leaving you nervous and excited at the same time.

The loud knock on the door almost made you jump. Fastly, but quietly, you reached there and tried to listen for any signs of who it could be.

"I hear you. Open the door; it’s me." The familiar voice came from behind the door.

You opened the door and met Bucky’s beautiful blue eyes. He seemed a little bit out of breath, as if he had run here. You quickly scanned his body, and the fact that he was wearing your favorite leather jacket made you weak in the knees. His dark brown locks that curled at the ends almost asked you to touch them. It was not your fault that this idiot always looked ridiculously hot every single time.

"C’mon, let’s get you home, doll." He grabbed your hand, leading you out of the bathroom to the bar, where you immediately saw a clearly annoyed John. You saw that Bucky looked at him too, but he stopped only when you were already on the street and when your bad date ran after you, loudly calling your name.

"Hey! Where the fuck are you going? We were supposed to go to my place! You already found someone else to fuck or what?" He yelled, grabbing your other hand at the same time. You felt Bucky quickly move you behind him while still holding your wrist.

"Don’t fucking touch her. She’s leaving, and if I ever see you near her again, I'll rip your useless hands off. Understood?" Bucky growled, straightening his body. He was obviously bigger than John, who was now less brave. John looked at you for a few seconds as he was thinking about what he should say to you, but then just turned around and left. Apparently, you weren't worth it.

You didn’t know whether it was the cool night air or this whole tense situation that made you tremble. You felt Bucky’s warm body get closer to you, and his large, calloused hand rested on your shoulder. It made you feel a little bit fuzzy because you were trying so hard to hide your little (big) crush on your brother’s best friend. Yeah, it was the biggest cliche, but you couldn’t even blame yourself. He was extremely beautiful, with those blue eyes, rosy lips, and a body that you knew was built like God's. Not to mention that Bucky was sweet and a true gentleman.

"You’re shaking, doll. Wait a second." He started to take off his jacket, and you tried to stop him.

"Bucky, no, what are you doing? You don’t have to; it’s not even that cold!" He just playfully rolled his eyes and still threw a jacket over your shoulders, leaving himself only in the tight black shirt. God, this man.

A sudden wave of his cologne surrounded you. Bucky always smelled good. Something clean with a spicy and woody scent. The leather was still warm from his body, and you fought against the desire to bury your nose in it. You didn't even realize that you actually did it, so when you opened your eyes, you saw Bucky, who had this annoying grin on his face.

"So you like it, huh?" He chuckled.

"Oh, shut up. I didn't want to do that."

"Of course, doll. But we should go, I have to take you home safely, right?" Bucky said, leading you to the parking lot. To a motorcycle.

"A motorcycle?" You asked Bucky as you stepped closer to him. "No, I—where’s your car? I’ve never ridden on one of those." He had already sat there and had two helmets in his hands.

"I left it in the garage and didn’t want to make you wait here for too long. But you don’t have to worry; I know what I'm doing, and I'll take care of you. I promise." You came closer to him and let him put a helmet on you. You really tried not to tremble as his hands gently fixed it under your chin. "Now sit behind me and put your legs here." He pointed at the weird looking thing.

You felt weird as soon as you sat in the passenger seat. Bucky was so close, and you could feel the warmth of his body even if it was cold outside. Where should I put my hands? Hug him? Put it behind me? You awkwardly placed it on your own legs, and Bucky must’ve immediately felt your tense body because you heard a chuckle, and the next moment he grabbed your hands and put it around his waist. "You should put it right here, doll. You don’t wanna fall, do you?"

You slightly shook your head before you placed it on his back. It was really hard to control yourself when your hands were laying on his hard press. For fuck’s sake, he should be perfect everywhere, huh?

"Hold on tight, Darlin'." You heard another deep chuckle, and he finally put his helmet on.

You don't know how long you were driving, but when Bucky finally pulled up outside your apartment building, you felt sad and happy at the same time. The ride was something else. This man almost gave you a heart attack when you stopped at a red light and he put his hand on your bare leg and asked if you were okay.

He’s just being nice, stop overthinking this.

You knew Bucky for only one month, but it was hard not to fall for him. He was an attractive, kind, and really generous man; you knew that he was like a part of Steve's family. Sometimes, when you visited your brother and accidentally met Bucky, for a few seconds you thought that maybe he finds you attractive. You always caught him looking at you.

But you knew this type of guy—always charming and flirting—who could have pretty much anyone. It was stupid of you to think that he saw you as something more than just Steve’s little sister.

"See, I told you that I was a good driver and that you'd get home safely." He hopped off the motorcycle and stood before you while you were trying to take the helmet off. "Let me unlock it."

"Thank you, Bucky." You said when you were finally free. "For this, for the jacket... You were probably very busy, and I just ruined your night by making you take care of me. Oh my god, I’m really sorry. I just wanted to forget about one person, and I thought that going on that stupid date would be a good idea, but it seems like the only thing that men want here is sex." You chuckled and watched to the ground.

"Now listen to me, doll." Bucky suddenly stepped closer to you, and you almost fainted when both of his hands took your face and forced you to look him right in the eyes. "You shouldn’t apologize for calling me. I was just hanging out with the guys from the garage, but as soon as you called me, I left everything because I can’t let you get hurt." He nervously licked his lips, and you hope that he didn’t notice how you stared at this movement. Bucky’s hands left your face and ended up on your upper arms. Did he come closer to me? "I don’t know who you were trying to forget about, but I hope that he or she is worth your time."

"We– we’re not really close. I’m probably not even his type." You shrugged. Bucky’s jaw clenched, and he buried his hands in the jeans pockets, as if he was angry and tried not to show you. As soon as he made a distance between you two, you body started trembling.

"Is it someone from the garage?" His head was a little bit tilted to the side, and you knew that right now he wouldn’t shut up about it until you gave him a name. "Maybe Sam? Or Thor? Many girls like him, you know. Do you like show-offs like Stark? Or…"

"You."

You both were silent.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What were you thinking?

"Say it again." Your throat felt dry, and you just stared at him, not knowing what to do.

"I– Just forget about it, Bucky. It’s stupid–"

You weren't able to finish because a soft pair of lips interrupted you. One of Bucky’s hands cupped your face, lifting you up to his level, and another one laid on your waist. He was soft, warm, and gentle when his lips moved on top of yours. Your head was in the clouds, and it felt like your knees became weaker. You wrapped your arms around Bucky’s neck, completely melting into him. He wanted to stay like this forever. Your skin and your lips were so soft, he could smell your perfume and taste your sweet lip gloss. But he knew that he should stop and do it the right way. After a few seconds, he finally pulled away, but he put his forehead on yours, and it was so cozy, like you two were in a bubble.

"I’m sorry. Was this too much? I overstepped?" He licked his lips as if he were trying to get more of your taste. "I have been thinking about asking you out since the day I saw you. I wanted to do it right. To take you on a date, to be the gentleman that you deserve, and maybe get a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night. Sorry. I didn’t even know that you liked me." Bucky wrapped his hands around your waist, and you nuzzled into his neck, enjoying his scent.

"And I didn’t know that you liked me either. I thought that you felt obligated to take care of me because I'm your best friend’s sister."

"No, I promise you." He kissed the top of your head. "But Steve’s gonna kill me, by the way. He told all of us that you’re not an option and that we can’t touch you."

"Well, I love him, but he can’t decide for me."

"So… Does this mean that you’ll say ‘yes’ if I ask you to go on a date with me? On Sunday, maybe?" You lifted your head to look at him properly, and God, he was so cute when he was nervous.

"Of course, Buck, I wanna go out with you." You smiled at him, and he lowered himself again to give you another sweet kiss on the lips.

"Fuck, you should go home, doll. You’re too sweet for your own good. Wanna keep you all for myself." He mumbled against your lips. "Go."

"Goodnight, Bucky. Please text me when you get home, ‘kay?"

"I will. Goodnight, Doll." You left a soft kiss on his stubbled cheek before finally turning around to go home.

Only at home did you realize that you were still wearing his jacket. At least it was a good excuse for Bucky to see you again sooner. That night, you both ended up texting for hours until you couldn’t keep your eyes open.

Maybe a date with John wasn’t that bad of an idea.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky x you #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #marvel #bucky barnes x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine

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bvtbxtch · 11 months

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Angry Heart | Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader (Part 2: Graduation)

Series Summary: Your best friend Chrissy Cunningham always got everything she ever wanted, even you new friend and crush Eddie Munson. When Chrissy does the unthinkable, Eddie is left to pick up the pieces alone... or is he?

Chapter Summary: Ditching Eddie and Chrissy might have been the best decision you ever made. You were now graduated, had a great group of friends and a new found confidence. But even though it was a great choice, you still felt a piece of your heart missing. With a few mysterious phone calls and a box full of things, maybe you were right in feeling a little cautious about your choice to leave the metalhead alone.

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Chrissy Cunningham, Eddie Munson x Reader (eventually), reader and Chrissy are friends but have a fallout. Minimal usage of Y/N

Series warnings: MDNI 18 +, Smut, fluff and angst (everything all rolled into one beautiful shit show), mentions of drugs and alcohol being consumed, overall adult language and theme. By clicking the read more, you agree that you are over 18! Ageless and minor blogs who interact will be blocked.

Word Count: 11.5k (SORRY)

A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE ON THIS LITTLE STORY. Thank you for being patient with me as well. I was not anticipating in it taking a month to get this part out but I have had some health issues that really had to take precedent first before I could relax and start writing. Thank you so much to everyone who reached out to see if I was okay <3 I did just want to mention that after this part, I will NOT be adding a taglist. You are all so incredibly supportive but I have been (still) getting DMs and replies about being on the taglist and I am feeling a little overwhelmed. I will be making a masterlist and when I do make that, I will add everyone from the AH taglist <3 thank you for understanding!!

Prologue

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

June 1986

You had awaited this day for what seemed forever. You had planned what life after high school was going to look like for you since you were in middle school. Chrissy had infiltrated your plans as soon as you met; you often imagined the two of you moving to Indianapolis, or even to New York. You would get a shitty little apartment together and you would find jobs working in bookstores or coffee shops and have next to no money, but you would be together, and you would be on your own. Eddie also quickly ended up being part of your after school plans. He would move with you, or maybe get an apartment with Gareth and Jeff and then the five of you would go on adventures all over whatever city you overran. That was one of the things you loved the most about Eddie, his ability to find adventure wherever he went and whatever he was doing. Maybe there would be some opportunity for you and Eddie to finally get together-

The two people you never saw your life without were now but distant furniture in your mind. The past month brought you a lot of clarity. You actually hadn’t talked to either Eddie or Chrissy since the day after prom. Chrissy had come up to you the next day, pale face and dark circles around her eyes, but she still was glowing somehow. She laid her head next to your locker and greeted you with a lovestruck sigh.

“Wasn’t prom just an absolute dream?” You slammed your locker and rolled your eyes at her, which made her jump. “What’s up with you?” she pouted. “I want to tell you all about my magical night-”

“Yeah Chris. I know all about your magical night. Okay?” You snapped. She was taken aback. “Go talk about how magical your night was with someone else, got it?” You turned on your heel and walked away from the blonde. You were too angry to be sad. Too empowered to cower under her influence. You deserved better and you knew it.

“Woah, woah! What is going on? Did I do something?” she jogged after you. You let out a dry laugh and turned to face her.

“‘He only kissed you back because he felt bad for you” You mocked. Not breaking contact while the light drained from her eyes. Suddenly, her vision clouded with tears. In her drunken haze, she had forgotten the confrontation in the hallway. She knew she shouldn’t have said what she did. Deep down, she knew it was a lie, but she was too insecure to confront Eddie about his feelings for you. Driving you away was easier than her feeling like she was second best.

“Y/N I-”

“You know what Chrissy? I really thought that we were going to be friends forever. I really thought that you would have my back through thick and thin. But you showed me your true colors. You don’t care about me. If you did, you wouldn’t do what you did.”

“Did what I did? You kissed my boyfriend!” She yelped.

“Who you treat like shit, Chrissy! You kept him a secret so you could let Carver think that he had a chance of getting in your pants last night. You immediately took Eddie’s side when he told you what happened, and not trusting your best friend of over a decade.” She shook her head at you in disbelief

“A real friend would have been happy for me to find someone like Eddie - who makes me happy, and pulls away when he tries to kiss you.” She poked

“A real friend wouldn’t ever pursue a boy who I’m obviously in love with” It slipped out. You didn’t mean to tell her. You both stood staring at each other through wide, glassy eyes. You took a few breaths and your gaze hardened.

“I should have said this to you the night you kicked me out of your house. I should have said this to you last night when you let me down. You are a shitty friend, Chrissy Cunningham, and you’re a shitty person. Don’t talk to me ever again.” Before she had any time to respond, you turned and strutted to your next class. Your heart hurt, but it felt so good to be confident enough in yourself, to be able to tell her how you really feel. She was done growing and flourishing, you had just started.

Eddie was too cowardly to come talk to you about what happened. He was so painfully in love with you, he couldn’t stand to see you get hurt again. So he admired you from afar, secretly cheering you on, as Chissy now interlocked her arm with his down the hallways. He was tired of making wrong decisions so he let the decisions be made for him. He couldn’t help feel a pang of desperation as graduation grew closer and closer, and the one person he wanted to be around drifted further and further out of his reach.

You slipped on the scratchy green polyester gown, refusing to fasten your cap to your freshly curled hair until you got to the school. Your wedges felt foreign in comparison to your regular Reeboks and you were compulsively checking your compact mirror to ensure your lipstick was perfect. You were so excited to get the formal convocation over with to go party at Gareth’s house. You strolled into the gym to be greeted by a group of drama friends, you all shared niceties and took a few pictures with the polaroid you toted with you. You had formed a small circle of friends in the last month of classes. Although they weren’t Gareth’s cup of tea, he was happy to invite them to the afterparty if it meant that you had more incentive to be there with him. Since cutting off Eddie and Chrissy, you spend way more time in the theatre during lunches and with Gareth afterschool and before Hellfire. Old you would have hoped that Eddie saw and was jealous. New you didn’t give half a shit.

You heard a familiar voice call your name and as you craned your neck to make eye contact, you broke from the crowd to run into Gareth’s embrace.

“Wow, Emerson! Thought I would never see you in a cap and gown!” You teased, but beamed up at him.

“Shut up… You look great” he smiled back at you. You quickly took your camera from around your neck and held it up to get both of your faces in frame.

“One for the books” you quipped. He rubbed your back affectionately as the microphone on the stage squealed. You found your seat and begrudgingly put your cap on. As you scanned the chairs for any more friends, your eyes fell to the door, where Eddie and Chrissy came walking in hand-in-hand. As angry as you were, you were happy to see Eddie finally succeeding in graduating. It brought warmth to your cheeks and a small smile to your lips. What you didn’t expect is for him to make eye contact with you. You froze. His gaze was soft, almost yearning. He raised a hand to you and offered a small grin. You waved back, too stunned to smile. He looked good. He looked happy. It filled you with melancholy for a moment before you broke eye contact and put your thoughts back together. You were here to succeed for you. You had friends that loved and appreciated you for you. You were going to go run amuck in a new city and find other people who loved you. And it all started here and now. You were going to grab that diploma, get blasted, and get the hell out of Hawkins.

Your name was called and you walked across the stage. A louder-than-you-were-expecting applause erupted, along with whoops and hollers from Jeff and Gareth, and the hellfire freshmen that were in the audience. You bowed as your tassel was flipped and caught gorgeous brown eyes staring up at you again, clapping wildly and grinning. He was genuinely proud of you, you could tell. He was sorry, you could tell. When it was his turn to walk the stage, you were one of the few that clapped for him. But you stood up and gave him a loud cheer. You were proud of him, he could tell. As he hopped down from the stage, he ran up to Chrissy’s spot- where she held her diploma in her manicured hands - and picked her up. He planted a kiss on her lips while he ran out of the gym. As much as you have grown, you wished it was you he was kissing, carrying out. You let the thought leave as their silhouettes vanished. It was time to party and forget about feelings.

Gareth’s house was bustling. Music was blasting throughout the house and it was rattling in your ribcage. Your head was swimming with the ‘punch’ you had already consumed while playing flip cup and beer pong. You laughed with your friends, so truly glad to be able to forget about the impending doom of real life and have fun with your favorite people. You slinked your way through the crowd over to Gareth, who was tending the punch bowl. He smiled at you and handed you another solo cup.

“Having fun?” he asked. You wrapped your arm around his waist and rested your head on his chest. He threw his arm around your shoulders, putting a little too much weight on you. He was drunk as well. You giggled

“This is the best party. Thanks for hosting, Garebear” you slur.

“Woah woah, Garebear? Absolutely not.” he scolds, pulling away from you. You let out a full chuckle as you clink your cup with his and down your drink.

Your night progressed to telling embarrassing stories in the living room over a game of Jenga. Your head was spinning and as much as you liked this feeling of weightlessness, you were afraid you were going to drift away. You pushed off of the couch and weaved your way through the crowds to the back door. You slid open the screen and you were gratefully met with a cool summer breeze. It was still warm, but the wind gave you goosebumps. You sighed with content and closed your eyes as you leaned onto the deck’s banister.

“Having fun?”

Your eyes shot open and you looked over your right shoulder. In the shadows of the small outdoor light, you saw a tall, slender figure, and the outline of long, frizzy hair. Your smile faltered. He stepped into the light and took a drag from his cigarette

“Yeah, um… Sorry for disturbing you” you turned to walk back into the house

“Wait-” he grabbed your shoulders and turned you to him. Your breath caught in your throat and you felt like you were going to be sick. You were too close; Intoxicatingly close. You could smell the cigarettes on his breath.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” You blurted out. He pulled his hands away and took a step back like you had burnt him. He looked guilty but sorrowful.

“Uh, we decided to go to different parties tonight.” He mumbled. You chuckled and glared into his soft brown eyes.

“So she didn’t want you to ruin the vibes of her ‘perfect party?”

“No, that’s not it! I just- I wanted to come here because… well because I miss you, and I miss hanging out in a group and I just wanted to come apologize, and, and I knew you wouldn’t hear me out if she was here too.” he panted. You could tell from his pleading eyes that he was serious. Your shoulders relaxed.

“Eddie, you don’t need to apologize to me, for anything. You got everything you’ve wanted. You graduated, and I am so, so proud of you for that. You got your band and your sheep. And… you have Chrissy. She’s a hot commodity... and you’re lucky to have each other. So you have nothing to apologize for.”

“But I hurt you-”

“And I’m over it. Look, I have no ill will against you, Eddie, but I think we just need to run in different circles for a while.” You murmured, eyes glued to your converse.

“I-is… is that what you really want?” Eddie took a step towards you.

NO “Yeah. I have a really great group of friends that love me for me. They don’t need anything else from me but me.”

“You’re still hanging around with Gareth, right?” Eddie hardens.

“Yeah. I am. He’s been the best friend I could ask for. He takes good care of me.”

“I’ll make sure he keeps taking care of you. I’ll kill him if he hurts you…”

“Save it, Eddie. I am so over your knight-in-shining-armor bullshit. You hurt me. You don’t get to decide who I hang out with or how I’m treated. You had a choice… You chose. So… deal with it.” The alcohol gave you more courage than you needed, but you weren’t mad. You were at peace. You turned and went back to the party. You didn’t realize, but that was just the way you needed to end your night. Closure and clarity. You returned to your spot beside Gareth to play another round of flip cup. Eddie selfishly couldn’t take his eyes off you. When he saw Gareth pick you up in a congratulatory hug, he gritted his teeth. He couldn’t stand picturing your story with Gareth and not him. So he slung back his last beer and stormed out the front door.

July 1986

The Hideout was never your favorite place to be. It looked like nothing more than a shack from the side of the highway that cut through Hawkins. Half of the lights on the neon side were burnt out, you doubted they had been changed since the joint opened in the 50s. The small bar had a few booths as well as tall bar tables, which were moved to create a makeshift dance floor in front of a dingy stage. The drum kit and microphones barely fit onto it, but you were sure that the ragtag group that made up Corroded Coffin would make it work. They always did before. There were three pool tables in the back of the space, behind the dark linoleum island bar. They had definitely seen better days, most of them missing pieces of velvet or pockets missing nets to catch balls underneath them. They were usually used for bikers or regulars to sit girls on them and make out. The bar smelt stale, like rotting wood, old beer and sweat. There are many places that you would rather be, but when your best friend begs you to make their regular crowd of 10-11 people (including staff) a person or two bigger, you go. Gareth treaded the idea of you coming to the show lightly, as you had not talked to their frontman since the graduation party. You felt no ill will and really didn’t mind being around him. You got your closure, and you were there for Gareth. No need to think too much into it.

You had seen Eddie around Hawkins in the last month. You had gotten a job at Family Video and would regularly work with Steve and Robin, who Eddie frequented. Your heart didn’t hurt when they talked about him anymore, and when he occasionally showed up to Family Video, or you saw him in Starcourt, or in the grocery store, you gave him the same curt but friendly smile every time. He understood the boundaries that you had given him. Friendly, but not friends. He always smiled back, but his heart sank. He missed you more than you could know.

You shuffled yourself into the closest booth to the stage and waited in soft anticipation. You hadn’t been to a Corroded Coffin show in months. It felt odd but familiar. You ordered yourself a rum and coke and absently sipped it as you listened to the Johnny Cash record that was playing on the jukebox.

You heard the door swing open behind you and a bubbly chuckle ring out through the bar. A sound that you definitely would not picture hearing in a place like this. You turned around to see Chrissy. Of course she would be here. Her strawberry blonde hair was curled in perfect ringlets and was held away from her face with a ribbon. Her long legs were framed perfectly under her light pink romper. Her waist beautifully cinched with a thick purple belt. Her lips were lusciously painted a glossy pink and her lashes were manicured to be wispy. She looked perfect, far too pretty to be here. Behind her followed Tiffany and Sarah. The trio picked a bar table that skirted the dance floor, across the bar from you. You, like most of the men in the building, followed their figures to their seats and Chrissy stole a glance at you. She looked at you and waved but you looked away, sinking a large gulp of your drink.

Chrissy had reveled in the fact that her prom stunt had secured her some extra attention for the last week or so of school. Everyone seemed to be talking about her in the hallways and although not all of it was good, she thought it was better to have people talking bad about you than not at all. Suddenly, all of the jocks were at her locker, or fighting to sit with her at lunch, desperate to show her that they were better than the freak she had somehow landed herself with. The attention shot her ego and popularity to an alltime high and she became the queen bee of Hawkins - there was no more sharing or cliques, everyone was under Chrissy’s spell. Everyone thought of her as either generous for going to prom with Eddie, or a down-to-earth girl next door because she kept associating herself with him. It made your stomach roll but she continued to smile sweetly at everyone in the hallway. She often let her gaze linger on you too long. She had everything she thought she wanted those last weeks of highschool. Everything but her best friend. And little did she know, the newfound fame didn’t reach beyond the month of June and the hallways of Hawkins High.

As she sat at her table, her manicured nails wagged at men who were ogling her from the bar behind her. She flashed a devious grin to her friends and waltzed over to the bar. You watched closely. Last time you had heard, she was still with Eddie… There's no other reason why she would be here. You heard her boisterous laugh once more as she strutted back to her table, a cocktail in her hand. You never would have thought that Chrissy would be the type to take advantage of anyone, but then again, in the past few months, you watched the person you thought you knew the best change into a stranger in front of you. You rolled your eyes and focused your attention to the glass in your hand.

You suddenly heard the humm of an amp and the vibrations of a bass being strummed. You looked up to see your friends taking the stage; All but Eddie. You cheered excitedly for Jeff, Gareth and Tommy but your heart pounded wildly in anticipation for the lanky metalhead that was missing. The few stage lights flickered as the energy and volume of the instruments rose and they began their set. Right before he started singing, Eddie sprang onto stage. There sure wasn’t a huge crowd, but everyone cheered as he appeared. You felt a lump in your throat as you watched the men perform, your eyes never leaving Eddie’s form. You felt your temperature rise what felt like 10 degrees. There was no doubt that he had charisma on stage, that is where he was born to be; But you felt all too emotional looking up at the man that you used to call your best friend. The man you thought that you might be in love with, the man that you thought you found closure with. You let yourself feel the waves of emotion flow through you with the music as you rocked back and forth with the rhythm. When applause erupted, you let your mind quiet with the music. The lights came back on and you grabbed your bag and your glass and got ready to return it to the bar. As you got up to leave, you noticed a gaggle of green letterman jackets had pushed their tables next to the one Chrissy and the girls were sitting at. Your anxiety spiked. You hadn’t talked to any of the jocks since prom and were fine with being the pariah of the group, but the fact that none of your friends were with you now made you feel nervous. You peered at the group from the other side of the bar and watched as Jason leaned in to whisper something into Chrissy’s ear. She slapped his arm playfully and giggled. You felt sick. You couldn’t wait for the boys to get their gear so you could say your goodbyes.

“Well, how’d ya like it?” The familiar voice instantly broke the tension in your body. You turned and gave Gareth a peck on the cheek.

“It was awesome, rockstar! You all were great” you say to Jeff and Tommy who were now sitting at the bar. They smiled and raised their fresh beers to you.

“So, you wanna get out of here? After party at my place. Got beer and the shit you like.” he wiggled his eyebrows at you. As much as you wanted to celebrate their show, you needed quiet. You needed to just go home and shower off the gross conflicting feelings you had.

“As tempting as that sounds, I think I just need to go home tonight, Gar.” he studied your face. The sheer amount of time that you had spent with him meant he could read you like a book. He scanned the dingy room and found the source of your anxiety. His gaze hardened at the green jackets infiltrating their space.

“They better not have said or done anything to you, I’ll kill them-”

“No no no they didn’t, just weird to see them all here” you reassured. Both of your gazes softened as you found the dark battle jacket amongst the lettermen. Eddie was scoffing loudly and flailing his hands. After a fantastic show, you expected to see him beaming, but his face was set in a hard scowl.

Eddie was slowly losing his patience. He had practically begged Chrissy to come to his gig tonight. He knew that there would be potential for the Hideout to start paying them for regular gigs if they brought in a crowd, but this was the opposite of what he wanted. When he was on stage he met with two pairs of eyes, your beautiful bright eyes and her glazed over blue ones. He was disappointed to see one of them. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you the whole set. He had forgotten how much he missed having you in the crowd. He could feel your energy from 20 feet away. It made him want to perform better. When he looked over to Chrissy’s table, he lost his spark. She looked disinterested. She was busy gabbing to her friends the whole time. Then, when he saw the meatheads walk in, he wanted to jump right off the stage and end the gig right then. But he pushed because at least they would be helping their audience numbers. Once Eddie took a moment to mentally prepare himself in the green room after the show, he plastered on a fake smile and sauntered over to Chrissy. He went to give her a chaste peck, but she turned her face for him to kiss her cheek.

“My lipgloss, Ed!” She giggled. Eddie rolled his eyes, shot her a sickly sweet smile and planted his lips on her cheek. The girls sitting next to Chrissy oohed and ahhed and the jocks kept to their own conversation, but their presence seemed like it was to mock him. He instantly got caught in his own head, wondering if their intent really was malicious, or if he was just reliving past high school trauma. He was pulled out of his trance when Chrissy’s manicured hand pulled on the lapels of his vest.

“Hey, rockstar! I’m talking to you!” She teased. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“Sorry, babe. What were you saying?”

“There’s a party out at Lover’s Lake, Jason’s parent’s cabin. Do you want to drop off your band stuff first then we can head out? We can grab some blankets and just sleep in the back of the van because I don’t know about you, but I want to be fully alone when we-” she blabbed, Eddie cut her off by taking her wrists in his hands.

“Woah, woah! I told you, the band is having their after party at Gareth’s house. You promised me we would be there. Come on, Chris.” Eddie pouted. She had been ditching him more often to go out with other people. He tried not to let his insecurities get the best of him, but it felt like he was losing her interest. This was something he wasn’t going to budge on. This was his night. She was supposed to be there for him. He couldn’t help but think that if it was you in Chrissy’s place, there wouldn’t even be a debate. He wouldn’t have even had to ask you to show up in the first place.

“Oh, come on. Don’t you want to go out to the cabin?” She searched for any kind of agreement she could get from any of the jocks. They either politely smiled at her or avoided her eye contact. The invitation was for Chrissy not Chrissy and Eddie. “It’s going to be, like a million times better than sitting in Derek’s-”

“Gareth’s” Eddie seethed.

“Gareth’s - whatever - Gareth’s dusty garage. It’ll be romantic. We can have the whole ride up there just you and me…” She cooed, she moved her lips to the lobe of Eddie’s ear “and I can tell you how wet you made me watching you up on that stage” she whispered. Eddie knew that he should be turned on. But he was so angry with her that he couldn’t oblige her. Not this time.

“I’m not budging, Chris. We need to go to the afterparty. I need to be there with my boys, too. We have cause to celebrate and this is really important to me.”

“But, Eddie…”

Eddie was tired of the games, he was fed up with her tonight.

“Either we go to Gareth’s together, or we won’t be seen at any parties anymore.” Eddie challenged. He hated that he had to give her an ultimatum but if that’s what it took., then so be it. He didn’t want to be the tag along. Not tonight. Chrissy’s stare hardened at her. He had never challenged her like that before.

“Alright, Munson. You win. We’ll go to your little party.” Eddie rolled his eyes and told Chrissy he was going to check in with the rest of the band to see what the plan was. She nodded and Eddie turned away, giving the rest of the table a tight smile. He moped his way over to where you and Gareth watched silently. He seemed to light up a bit when he saw your inviting smile.

“Hey, congrats rockstar. You did an amazing job up there” You wrapped a hand around Eddie’s bicep. Eddie felt a shiver run down his spine at the contact.

“You think so? Thanks.” Eddie blushed. He was always one to be so sure of himself, this lack of confidence threw you off.

“Hell yeah I think so! It was the best show I have seen you guys do yet!” You exclaimed.

“Are you gonna come to the afterparty?” Eddie asked, hope splayed in a smile across his face.

“No, I gotta sit this one out. I have to open Family Video tomorrow.”

Eddie looked dejected. He was so happy to see you in the crowd, he had hoped he would be able to talk to you at the party and really apologize.

“Trust me dude, we’re all bummed. I’ve been trying to change her mind for the past 15 minutes. I even offered to call Robin to ask her to cover myself!” Gareth offers. You give the men a sorry smile.

“You’re gonna have a great time without me! It’s your night. Don’t let me ruin it.” God, you were so selfless. He couldn’t help but admire you in the dim light. So kind and so beautiful. It wasn’t fair how things ended between you. He was an ass. You turned away from him to walk to the door after sending kind waves to the band.

“Y/N” Eddie grabbed your wrist and pleaded with his chocolate eyes. You got lost in them almost immediately. You knew what you felt when he was on stage and you’re pretty sure he knew and felt it too. “Wait, please come to the-”

“Eddie! Are we going or what?” you hear a shrill voice from behind the man staring down at you. Chrissy looked pissed (in more ways than one). Her hands rested on her hips and she tapped her foot on the ground as she swayed. Eddie groaned and let go of you. The heat in your chest quickly faded. You peered around Eddie to smile tightly at the blonde. Her eyes widened and softened at your gesture. She slowly raised her hand to wave to you. You looked back to Eddie.

“You-you better go” you smile sadly at him. “You’re girl’s waiting for you. Have fun tonight, Eddie. Again, you deserve it.”

For the second time, Eddie watched you walk away and he fell into the impatient arms of a girl that he thought he loved. Eddie’s eyes were glued to your figure as you slipped out of the bar into your car.

As you got in, you let out a big sigh and punched your steering wheel. You knew you made the right choice by leaving and not entertaining anything with the man that trapped your heart all over again, but it would have been so easy to fall back into his arms and pretend like Chrissy didn’t exist. But you didn’t want to stoop to their levels. You didn’t want to get trapped in what was easy versus what was best for you. So you turned the key in the ignition and you quietly drove back to your apartment, retiring to a warm bath and a book, before crawling into bed and letting loneliness and the thought of Eddie on stage singing to you lull you to sleep.

September 1986

Your first summer of freedom did not follow the plan you thought you had perfected before graduating. Some of those things on your list looked similar, but with different people. You often went joyriding with Steve and Robin after closing Family Video and spent long nights out at Lover’s Lake with old drama club friends. It felt liberating that you didn’t feel a hope about a certain mop headed boy, even though you had been frequenting band practices and summer Hellfire meetings to casually see him as much as possible. You found some independence and even though you often felt lonely without Eddie and Chrissy, you knew you were doing fine without them.

You had just gotten home from a shift at Family Video. The last bit of humid summer air kissed your skin. You shrugged off your vest and other clothes and tossed them into your hamper before starting a steaming shower to wash away the day. You had been looking forward to treating yourself to a face mask, a steam and ending the night by curling up into bed with the newest Stephen King novel. You flopped down on your bed, dawning your favorite oversized tee shirt from your dad’s auto body shop and a pair of sleeper shorts. Your hair was tied loosely in a towel and your face felt clean and soft. You sighed with content as the night was finally yours. You don’t remember how long it took, but you dozed. You awoke to the record you had started playing being long hushed; your glassy eyes opened in accompaniment to the shrill ring of your phone. You grabbed at it and groggily answered. You were greeted by preppy sobs ringing through your ear.

“H-hello?”

“Y-Y/N” Chrissy wailed. You could smell the alcohol wrecking her through the phone. “I-I need you to tell me I’m not a bad person.”

You paused and almost laughed to yourself. “Chrissy, why are you calling me?”

“I, I just need someone to tell me that I am not a bad person, okay? No one likes me anymore.” You could hear hiccups between her sobs and shuffling from whatever party she was at.

“It’s late, Chrissy. You should go home and go to sleep-” You move to hang up the phone but her cry stops you.

“I did a really bad thing, Y/N and I need someone to tell me that I’m worth keeping around because no one likes me anymore. No one wants to talk to me and no one looks at me and I want boys to look at me and like me and-”

“Chrissy you have the boy that you love right now. What are you talking about? You have everything you could ever want…” You scoffed.

“Y/N, I, I don’t think I love Eddie. I don’t think I ever did.” Chrissy whispers. The phone stays quiet save for the party behind her. Her sniffles break the silence every few moments.

“What did you do, Chris?” Your head was spinning. How could she not love Eddie? One of the easiest people on the planet to love. He was the boy who knew how to make anyone feel special and wanted just by looking at them. He would drop anything and run to Chrissy if she ever needed anything and you knew that for a fact. You knew that he was eager to take others’ pain away and make it his to help. He was perfect, a treasure that deserved to be protected at all costs, not be treated like this. Eddie was probably alone in his trailer right now, worried about his girlfriend, or waiting to give her a ride home, while she’s calling you to tell you that she doesn’t love him? How dare she? You wanted to believe that the girl that you used to know was still in there somewhere. That Chrissy would never do anything to hurt someone that she cared about - even if she didn’t love him…

“Well.. there’s this party going on and, and all the old jocks are here you know? A-Aand Jason and I, well like we were always ‘will they won’t they’ you know? And i saw him at this party and Eddie was being a total jerk and didn’t want to come with me and he just doesn’t look at me like these guys do and-”

“What:” you scoff. “Like a piece of meat?”

“Y/N please. Like I am wanted, like I am attractive. Like I am a prize, okay? Eddie looks at me, but it doesn’t feel as good as when Jason or Andy or Patrick looks at me - like in high school-”

“Chrissy, that’s really fucked up and pathetic. Why are you calling me?”

“Because you’re my best friend - well, you were… and I-I-I miss you, I shouldn’t have stopped being your friend, and I’m sorry I let stupid Eddie come in between us.”

“Stop. Chrissy, Eddie didn’t come between you and me, You came between Eddie and I, and the shit you pulled was fucked up. So tell me what you want so I can get off the goddamn phone and I can rinse the disgusting feeling I have off for talking to you about this-”

“I cheated on Eddie”!” She blurted out. “I’ve been cheating on Eddie for months now. And I’m a bad person but it feels so good to be wanted, Y/N I can’t explain it.”

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say, Chrissy. That’s fucked up, even for you. You have been the lowest of fucking low, but I never thought you would be the type of person to totally fuck up your relationship like that. I don’t know why you wanted to call and tell me this, but I don’t feel sorry for you. Not in the slightest. Goodnight.” You slammed your receiver down on your phone and felt tears prick at your eyes. Not your Eddie. Eddie doesn’t deserve this. You sat in contemplative silence - unwilling to believe the conversation you had just happened.Your phone rang again and you jolted in panic.

“Hello” you whispered.

“Hey, Y/N… Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up” You heard his gruff voice and your breath hitched.

“E-Eddie, why are you calling me?”

“Sorry, sorry I just - I’m kind of freaking out because I haven’t heard from Chrissy in like three days and I just got a call from her I think and she was sobbing your name before the line went dead… I - I was just wondering if she had called you or if something happened I guess. This is stupid I shouldn’t have called you” He sounded exhausted and like he had been crying.

“Eddie, are you okay?”

“What?”

“Are you okay?”

“I… I don’t know. I’m just tired of these disappearing girlfriend tricks I keep getting fucking trapped in.” He lets out a dry chuckle.

“I don’t know where she is but I think I know where to find her… I’ll let you know if I hear anything. Okay?” You hear his long sigh over the phone and you wish that you could forget the boundaries that had built up between you and run to him. Tell him that you were there for him and kiss away his pain. Your heart was breaking for him (even though you couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction… you had warned him.).

“Hey, Sweetheart?”

“What’s up, Eddie?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry about everything-” you heard his voice crack.

“Eddie, it’s okay-”

“No. It’s not.” he cut you off. “I’m so sorry for the shitty person I had been. I fucked up one of the good things I had in my life because I got selfish, and in my own head. I never wanted to hurt you.. I - I just… I don’t know why I chose her. I wanted it to be you so badly, but I forced it.. And I just hope that I can convince you to be my friend again someday.”

“We’ll see what we can do, Ed.” with that you clicked your phone back to the receiver and threw on a flannel. Although you hadn’t been in quite some time, the only place that the meatheads frequented was the Carver residence on the other side of town. You never felt your place there, but you knew how to navigate it. You hastily started your car and set off for your destination.

Jason’s street was littered with abandoned station wagons and empty solo cups. You could hear the music blasting from the beginning of the cul de sac - your head already began to pound. You snaked your way to the end of the manicured driveway and slammed your car door shut. You trudged to the open front door, keeping your head down. As you passed through waves of people, you could feel stares into the back of your head and giggles of your name. You scowled and trained your eyes to search for a pair of tanned legs and a blonde ponytail. You paused in the kitchen, desperate to find Chrissy and your chance to leave when you felt a hand wrap around your waist and warm breath sneak up to your ear.

“I didn’t remember inviting you to my party… outcast” a baritone voice huffs.

“You didn’t, Carver… I’m picking something up and then I will be out of your hair. Don’t let me ruin your night.” You pull away from him but his grip on your waist becomes bruising.

“Aww, come on, outcast. Why don’t we party like we used to. You’ve been hanging out with the freaks for too long… Forgot how to have fun. Why don’t you let me show you what you’ve been missing, huh?” Jason spun you around so his piercing blue eyes were boring into yours.

“I would literally rather poke my eyes out with hot knives. Where’s Chrissy”

“Oh, god you really are a desperate frigid bitch, aren’t you? You know I didn’t want to believe Chrissy when she told me but, I guess she was right” The blonde sneered.

“Yeah, yeah, Jason. I get it. Go take your steroids and show the rest of your friends how manly you are… I’m not interested. Now do you know where I can find her, or did you lose the brain cells for facial recognition too?” Jason stared at you slack jawed, then his grin slid across his face. It made you sick.

“Well, when I left her an hour ago, she was - ahem - cleaning herself up in my room. Feel free to go look there if you’d like… But be warned, you might not like what you see up there.” He giggled. He brought his face into your cheek and your blood froze. He puckered his lips and planted them to the side of your face.

“It was… so good to see you again, Y/N. Glad to see you really did peak in high school… ugh and that says something, doesn’t it?” He breezed past you to leave you to physically recoil and regather. You wanted to turn around and leave… fuck Chrissy and fuck all of these people… but you had to do this for Eddie. You turned to the staircase facing the kitchen and pace up. Although it had been a long time since you had been in the Carver house, you still felt like you could clear the top floor in a good time. You past couples pressed against hallways and huddled into rooms. You hear giggles and beds creaking and girls crying, but no Chrissy.

You were ready to give up hope, having tried all of the door handles and being met with locked doors or your apologies for intruding. The last door at the end of the hallway opened as you went to reach for the door and you were met with the girl you had been searching for for the last ten minutes. Her eyes widened in horror and relief to see you. She looked like a mess. Her usually neat slicked ponytail was slated on the side of her head, flyaways crowning her. Her eyes were glazed over eyes were smudged black with mascara and eyeliner. Her flush in her cheeks made her intoxication very apparent and her lips were kiss-swollen and smudged. She sported one of Jason’s old Hawkins raglans in replacement of whatever tiny top she had worn to the party. You felt bad for her at first sight; pity running through your veins as her lips quivered. Her paused tears resumed as she wrapped you in a hug.

“Thank you so much for coming, Y/N. Thank you so much.” she sobbed.

“Yeah, Chris. This is fucked. Let’s go, okay?”

You guided the girl down the stairs and out of the house - refusing to look anywhere but the floor in case Jason returned to try and claim you as a prize again. Chrissy had blabbered nonsense all the way to the car while you tried to prevent her from going horizontal. You closed her door and paced back to your side of the car. You were greeted with silence and the smell of vodka.

“Who else, Chrissy?” you whispered.

“Wh-wha-”

“Who else did you fuck, Chrissy?!” you yelled, your eyes never left her figure, her eyes did not leave her feet.

“It was just Jason… tonight.”

“For fucks sake! Are you kidding me?”

“Can we just go? I know I’m a piece of shit okay? But some of us need the attention! Okay! I’m not alright with walking around feeling like I am fading away into no one and that no one cares who I am anymore! I want someone to look at me like other girls get looked at! I want to be like you where you can find other friends and you can go out and be effortlessly yourself and everyone loves you!” “What the FUCK are you talking about? You have a boyfriend, Chrissy. He should be the one that makes you feel like that. HE looks at you like that! He is the one that you should be loving because he loves you!” Chrissy let out a dry laugh.

“Oh come on now, Y/N you and I both know he doesn’t love me. He doesn’t look at me like that because he is too busy looking at you like that! You had me and you had him and it wasn’t good enough! So we both needed to settle for second best! And I am just not okay with being second best anymore!”

“You are the one that gave me up for all your popular friends, you and Eddie both chose each other over me! And look who is here picking up the pieces after you handed yourself out to the basketball team, and while your own fucking boyfriend traverses the streets of Hawkins because he has no idea where you are! I was fucking right. You both deserve each other.” You shoved your car into drive and rolled your car into the road. Chrissy silently sobbed while you focused your eyes on the night ahead of you.

Your ride was long and awkward. When you pulled up to your house, Chrissy seemed surprised.

“I can’t let you go back to your house like this, Chris. We need to get you cleaned up.” She nodded a silent thank you and the two of you retreated to the second floor of your house. You got Chrissy a change of clothes and a toothbrush while she was in the shower and put her alcohol drenched outdfit in the wash. You waited for her in your room. When she sheepishly entered, you gestured to the bed you had made for her on the floor. She settled into her blankets and an awkward silence covered you once again.

“Thank you, Y/N. I don’t know why you’re being so nice to me… I don’t deserve it.”

“I know, Chrissy. But you need someone to help you make a couple good decisions tonight. That was a fucking mess, at Jason’s” You heard her breath catch in her throat. “You have to tell Eddie what’s been going on, Chrissy. And he’s going to hate you. But you can’t do that to him. You might not love him but you and I both know that he deserves better than this.”

“I know,” she conceded quietly. You laid your head on your pillow. Your alarm clock read 3:39am. You tossed and turned in your sleep all night, pictures of Eddie’s heartbroken face haunting your dreams.

You awoke to Chrissy folding blankets and stacking pillows onto your dresser.

“Hey, morning. How are you feeling?” you croaked.

“Well, I’m here and that’s a way better place than I thought I was going to be staying” Chrissy chuckled dryly. “Thank you again for last night, Y/N. I really owe you one.”

“Don’t mention it. I just hope that if the roles were reversed you would do the same for me.” The air between you seemed palpable, it reminded you of when Chrissy would be doing the very same thing after a weekend long sleepover. You both gave each other testing smiles and short giggles.

You dropped Chrissy off after stopping to get coffee for the two of you. Chrissy looked at you apologetically and unclasped her seatbelt.

“Thanks for the ride” she offered

“Welcome. Good luck with Eddie” you mumbled. As badly as you felt for your old friend, you could not wait for her downfall. She didn’t deserve Eddie and he didn’t deserve to be hurt like this. But the light of old times seeping through the walls that you had rebuilt felt nice, even if it was artificial, fleeting. You flashed the girl a comforting smile.

“Thanks. I think I’m really going to need it. I really fucked up.” she looked down and began to pick at her nails.

“But this might be a learning lesson for you at least. I hate to say it but Karma can be a bitch sometimes.” you grab her wrist and squeeze. Your hands warm her veins and she relaxes into your touch. She pats you on the hand as she wriggles out of your car and trots to her door. She looks back at you before she closes the door behind you. She really stares into you as she raises a hand and waves. It was goodbye for good.

You got cut early from your shift at the video store.You were little to no help to the gorgeous head of hair working with you anyways. You tell Steve about your night, about Chrissy’s admissions and your call with Eddie. You were unsure of what your expectations were at this point. You call with Eddie shifted the dynamic of friendly strangers and you again found yourself battling between easy choices and choices that were good for you. Luckily for you, you were wasting time with Hawkin’s most eligible bachelor and love-life-advice solicitor.

“I don’t know, Y/N all I’m saying is there are so many guys in this town that would actually take you out and treat you right, you don’t deserve this shit” the boy quipped. You loved how honest Steve could be. He had quickly given you more examples of what a good friend looked like. “Like what about that Gareth kid?! Have you seen the way he looks at you? Worships the ground you walk on. Get a guy like that” Steve folds his hands on his hips. You scoff at him.

“Gareth and I are just friends. Trust me, we’ve gotten into all of that relationship stuff a long time before.” Steve’s eyes grew to saucers. You giggled. “It was one kiss this summer and both of us knew it wasn’t gonna happen, okay?” You rolled your eyes as you slid a box of freshly rewound tapes to him.

“Alright, alright - poor guy. I’m just saying. Munson? He should be old news. He and Chrissy deserve each other…”

“Maybe I should test drive a guy like you then, Harrington?” you sneered. He dropped the box, his back turned to you but you could tell his cheeks had flushed. “Or…Hargrove?”

“Hey!”

“Or-”

“Alright enough!” Steve chided. You suppressed your giggle. “You think you’re so funny, huh? I just worry about you, that’s all.”

“I know, Steve. Trust me, I wish I could move on. The two of them do deserve each other… But every time I think of them making up and going back to being good, it makes me want to rip my hair outI can’t stand it.”

“Damn kid. You really are down bad” Steve jabbed you in the side of the arm and you shrieked. “If you really feel that way then I guess you gotta let him know.”

“What if they do get back together and I laid it all out for nothing? Or what if I’m old news to him, Steve? I cant handle that…”

“Dude, if he makes the same mistake as he did at prom he won’t just have Gareth to deal with, okay? He’ll have me, Buckley and half of the Family Video clientele coming after him.” Steve glanced at the clock and gestured to the door. “Now get out of there and fix your bullshit life” he winks. Your smile lightens your whole face. You grab your bag from behind the counter and scurry out the door after planting a kiss to Steve’s cheek. He was left to the fluorescent aisles, shaking his head. You really did deserve better.

You pulled into your driveway, ready to spend the afternoon in Gareth’s backyard smoking weed and watching as many horror movies that you could before inevitably passing out. As you sauntered up to your door, you realized your plans for the day had been eviscerated. Sitting on your front step was a cardboard box that had been taped together neatly. Sitting on top of the box laid a note scrawled with purple ink:

“Y/N, I didn’t know who else to trust with this, and I am so sorry to ask.

Please take this box and give it to Eddie if you see him. I can’t bear to give it to him myself and I can’t tell anyone else about what I did.

Thank you for being such a good friend even when I didn’t deserve one.

Chrissy”

You let out a large sigh as you picked up the box and opened your door. You didn’t want to call Eddie, you were scared to find out how much he knew. Part of you wanted to leave the box on the doorstep for him to quietly pick up without notice, but you knew that your heart couldn’t handle knowing he was so close and you did nothing. So you picked up the receiver to your landline and dialed a familiar set of numbers.

“Hey champ! When you coming over?” A peppy boy answered.

“Hey, Gar. Something came up and I don’t think I can come over.”

“What did he do, Y/N?” Gareth’s tone hardened immediately. You could feel his anger radiating through the telephone.

“Nothing, it's more like what Chrissy did…” You spent the next half an hour telling Gareth about your encounters yesterday. Gareth huffed bitterly in response. Eddie Jeff and Gareth hadn’t been the same since their gig at the Hideout. Eddie began dodging band practice to be with Chrissy. He sacrificed DND campaigns and hellfire meetings to hide under the bleachers to go to the mall with Chrissy, or go to dinner with the jocks. Eddie became the most popular recluse. The three musketeers became strangers and the practices they had now - if any - were full of tension and unfamiliarity. Jeff and Gareth resented Eddie for the way his world revolved around Chrissy, and Eddie resented the two for not being happy for him, for not supporting him in what he wanted. In the middle was you. Eddie longed to be close to you again, but Jeff and Gareth refused to let him too close, you wouldn’t be hurt again, at least not on their watches. Although hostility ran high, all of you craved so much to be a group again, to be able to forgive and forget. But as all of you had figured out, that was much easier said than done.

“I’m coming over. I don’t want you to be alone when he shows up.”

“Gareth, I will be fine. I need to talk to him anyway” Your voice got quiet

“Talk to him about what?”

“I-I just need to know what happened between him and Chrissy. I need to know what that means for me, Gareth. I’m sick and tired of wondering if it could happen.”

“Y/N that’s a bad idea. We should just be done with him”

“I know, Gareth. He doesn’t deserve us. But I’m tired of being strong and stubborn. I just need to talk to him. I need to see him.” There was a silence over the phone. Gareth’ heart broke for you, but he knew that he couldn’t protect you from this.

“If anything happens, you give me a call and I will be over in 5 minutes.”

“Yes, sir.” You chuckle.

“Hey, now! I mean it”

“Gareth?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I love you, you know?” there was a loud sigh over the phone.

“Yeah I know. I love you too.”

“Everything’s going to be okay.”

“It has to be.” With a click, you were left to listen to the dial tone. You place your phone down and get yourself ready. You didn’t know when Eddie would be over, but you wanted to prepare before he did.

You sat in the shower until the water ran cold. Your skin felt scrubbed free from any imperfection, but it felt tight with stress. You forced yourself to make food but could barely eat. The rest of your evening consisted of staring at the same open page in your book while reruns of Match Game bled through the living room. The sun had set, along with the hopes that you would get closure tonight. Later, you heard the rattle of an engine outside accompanied by the thrash of Ozzy Ozbourne. You shot off the couch and toed your way to the front door. On the other side, you could hear a cacophony of swears and pacing footsteps. A few moments later, three hesitant knocks on your door. You took a couple of breaths and turned the handle. You were greeted with a tousled mop of hair and fair skin. His jeans hung low on his hips and he wore a thinning band t-shirt. His pale arms gripped his shoulders, flashing patches of inky figures across his forearms. His face, usually soft and blushing, looked pale. Dark circles encapsulated his coffee coloured irises. His nose was red and his lip was quivering. As awful as he looked, he was so tragically beautiful, like a muse. His lips still puckered and dared you to dart out and kiss them. His frame towered over yours and threatened to encapsulate you whole. You wanted nothing more. You gripped the inside of your doorframe in grounding, afraid you were going to evaporate into the cooling evening.

“Eddie, Hi” You squeaked. The boy looked dully at you as you took in his appearance. “I-I saw Chrissy’s note… the box is just inside I’ll-” You turned to leave but Eddie’s sigh held you in place.

“Fuck the box, Y/N” Eddies voice was just above a whisper. It rattled as if he were scared that if he spoke too loudly, the whole world would collapse in on him. His eyes lined with tears again. “What happened last night?” He demanded.

“I found her at a party… she had called me and, well I couldn’t just leave her there so…I took her home with me and she told me she was a bad person…” your eyes were trained to the floor. “I took her home in the morning and then the box was waiting for me after work, so you might have to fill in the rest of the blanks for me.”

“She fucked me over. That’s what happened! She went out and she fucked half the basketball team while I fucking waited for her to come back into my fucking arms! I tried to give her everything but nothing was ever good enough!” Eddie seethed. “ ‘I need more attention, Eddie’ or, ‘come out to this party, Eddie’ ‘ I want to do this instead, Eddie.’ ‘Why aren't you more like Jason, Eddie?’ FUCK I should have fucking known better, but I’m the fucking freak, I don’t get what I want. I don’t deserve to be happy because this is partially my fault too…” Eddie fisted at his hair while he paced on your front step.

“Eddie. I don’t know what to say-”

“You don’t need to say anything but I told you so. That’s what I fucking deserve. You shouldn’t be sitting here pitying me. You should be laughing at me” Eddie whimpered. You had never seen him so small, so fragile. You wanted to rub the tension out of his shoulders and kiss his furrowed brows until he looked like your Eddie again.

“Yeah but I’m not because I care about you Eddie.” You reach out to touch him but he pulls away like you burned him. “I’m really fucking sorry that this happened. No matter what I think of you, you don’t deserve this.” Eddie stopped in his tracks and trained his eyes on your meek figure. You shuddered when you looked up and made eye contact with him. Your eyes were wet and his eyes were pools of sorrow, But his gaze held a foreign glimmer to them. You let Eddie study you in silence.

“What can I do to make it better?”

“I… I don’t know, Eddie. That might be a conversation to have with Chrissy and you-”

“I’m not talking about me and Chrissy.” Eddie held his gaze on you as he stepped closer to you. He smelt of weed, beer and cheap aftershave.

“Eddie-”

Swiftly, the boy grabbed your cheeks and collapsed into you, smashing his lips with yours. As much as your brain screamed at you to push him off, your bones melted in with his, finally giving into the temptation that your body so desperately craved since your kiss in the theatre. Eddie’s weight moved you backwards into your house and he closed the door behind him. His hands migrated down your torso to your waist as he spun you to pin you back up against your front door. You moaned into his mouth as he ran his tongue along your bottom lip. Your hands found their way to Eddie’s chest and you gripped his shirt. He was shaking. It felt like there were only two of you. Kissing Eddie was the most natural thing to happen. Every move he made, your body had the perfect response. He gripped your hips as you slid your hands around his neck into his hair, earning a moan from the metalhead. A pit in your stomach formed at his lips vibrating against yours and you thought your legs would give out. Eddie pressed his body deeper into yours and you swore you could feel his heartbeat in your own chest. As much as you wanted this moment to last forever, you pulled yourself away from him, his eyes still closed and lips slightly parted, also very much in shock as to what had just happened. You gaze up at him as tears unwillingly spill down your cheeks. A mortified expression painted Eddie’s face, immediately thinking that he had overstepped again. He waited for a slap to the face or for you to push him away and begin yelling. But you looked up at him through your glassy eyes and his heart backflipped. His hands returned to your cheeks, thumbs desperately swiping at your tears.

“Y/N, sweetheart, I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Eddie, we can’t lie to each other. You and I both know I’ve been waiting for you to do that for a long time” a sad smile crept across your face.

“Fuck. I’ve been doing this wrong the whole time. I’ve wanted you this whole time, Y/N. This whole time, not a day has gone by where I wish I could go back to prom night and make the right choice. I am so fucking sorry.”

“I accept your apology, Eddie. But I don’t forgive you” Eddie’s heart sank. The flush he had earned left his face. His hands dropped to your wrists and he gripped tightly, like he was afraid you were going to disappear in front of him. “Not now at least. You fucked me up, Eddie. I waited for you and I watched you break my heart, and I will not be anyone’s second best ever again. I won’t be your second place again.” Eddie shook his head in understanding.

“What can I do? Please tell me what I can do.”

“You can work on how to make good choices again, Ed. Be my friend first. Prove to me you deserve that. Because I am not okay with being a rebound either. Prove to me you want me and this isn’t just a way to get over Chrissy, because my heart can’t take it.” you sob into him and he wraps you into a hug.

“I promise you, sweetheart. It’s you. It’s always been you, and I will spend the rest of my days proving how much I need you.”

“Okay, Eddie. I believe you.” You pull away from him and step away from him. “But we can’t do that again.” You both were too afraid to say anything more, so you stood in silence, taking in each others’ space. Eddie then reached for the door.

“I, I should really go, I guess. I’m not sorry for kissing you, but I’m really sorry if it upset you.” You grab the hand that Eddie had on your front door.

“Eddie, I know you aren’t exactly sober right now, or in the right state of mind to really be alone. So as your friend, I would really like it if you stayed here tonight, so I know that you’re okay.”

“As a friend?”

You nodded firmly.

“I would really like that,” Eddie smiled softly at you.

“Let’s go put a movie on and try and get some sleep.” You grabbed Eddie’s hand and led him up to your bedroom. Eddie climbed onto your bed as you leaned over your TV and punched in The Shining. You joined Eddie on the bed, both of you under the farthest edges of the blanket, too scared to cross a thin boundary that had been set.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah, Ed?”

“I was wondering If I- If It would be okay, could I maybe hold you?” Eddie murmured into his lap that he was staring at. “I just feel really cold. I don’t mean anything by it I promise. I just need… to feel something good.”

Wordlessly, you shuffled over to the middle of the bed. Eddie followed suit. You slid down so your head leaned on his chest, his arm draped down your back, his fingers drew circles on your hip. Your arm wrapped around him as a silent reassurance that you were not going anywhere. The steady pounding of Eddie’s heart and the rise and fall of his chest quickly lulled you to sleep. Eddie spent next to no time watching Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall, too busy studying every detail of your body that he could see. As he heard your soft sighs signaling you had fallen asleep, he silently cried into your temple.

Eddie Munson knew he was an idiot, that he fucked up. As much as his heart broke, he couldn’t help but be willing to break it over and over again if it meant that he got to call you his one day.

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inmyicyworld · 11 months

Text

I can't let you get hurt

Bucky Barnes x Reader (brother’s best friend AU)

Summary: you have just moved to New York, where your adopted brother Steve has been living for 5 years. Desperate to make new friends, you give the dating app another go. You didn’t even think that you would have to ask for help from the person who has not left your thoughts for the past month - your brother’s best friend.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: language, reader is Steve’s adopted sister, creepy John Walker, John is commenting reader's clothes, Bucky is a big softie, protective Bucky, idiots in love, fluff.

Author’s note: I’ve wanted to finally start writing for a long time. so I decided to share my thoughts and dreams about this man (aka my husband). English is not my first language and I’m really sorry if you find any mistakes. it’s my first attempt to trying to write in English so I hope it’s not that bad.

masterlist my ao3 ko-fi

You knew that you had nothing to lose; you had no opportunities in your city, no close friends, and it was a really boring and gray life.

That's how you ended up here. On a date with John.

Your evening went well at first. You ordered a drink and chatted. He really seemed nice. After the second drink, you decided to stop for a bit because the alcohol started to take a toll on your head, even though John was pushing you hard with the new drink he brought you.

"You know, I think I better slow down with cocktails; I really don’t want to be drunk and embarrass myself on the first date." You pushed your glass back a little, smiling politely.

"So it means that we can have some fun, right, baby?"

"Fun?"

"O-okay- um- just let me- I’ll go to the restroom real quick, and we can go, okay?" You nervously smiled and stood up, almost spilling your cocktail.

"Someone’s excited, huh?" He laughed, looking at your body up and down.

You reached into your purse to get your phone. The first person that came to mind was Steve. Only long beeps were heard, and after the third call, you gave up.

"Fuck, Steve, I really need you right now." You scrolled through your contacts again. It wasn’t a lie that you knew five people from New York. Steve was not answering his phone. Your two neighbors, Natasha and Wanda from work, were not your close friends, so it would’ve been weird to call them because of this. There was a number of an old lady who rented you an apartment, and she was obviously not an option. And there was another person.

Bucky.

"H-hey, Bucky. Um… I’m really, really sorry that I’m calling you, but Steve is not picking up his phone. Do you know where he is?" You walked around the small room, trying to calm down.

"My God, it’s so stupid…" You squeezed your eyes, not wanting to cry.

"Tell me."

"Where are you? What bar? Are you in the restroom?" His voice was low, and you knew that he wasn’t happy with all of this.

"It’s that new place a few blocks away from my crib. With big neon red signs at the top. And I’m in the restroom right now."

"I’ll be there in five. Stay there and don’t open the door until you know it’s me." He said that and ended the call, leaving you nervous and excited at the same time.

The loud knock on the door almost made you jump. Fastly, but quietly, you reached there and tried to listen for any signs of who it could be.

"I hear you. Open the door; it’s me." The familiar voice came from behind the door.

You opened the door and met Bucky’s beautiful blue eyes. He seemed a little bit out of breath, as if he had run here. You quickly scanned his body, and the fact that he was wearing your favorite leather jacket made you weak in the knees. His dark brown locks that curled at the ends almost asked you to touch them. It’s not your fault that this idiot always looked ridiculously hot every single time.

You don’t know whether it was the cool night air or this whole tense situation that made you tremble. You felt Bucky’s warm body get closer to you, and his large, calloused hand rested on your shoulder. It made you feel a little bit fuzzy because you were trying so hard to hide your little, big crush on your brother’s best friend. Yeah, it was the biggest cliche, but you can’t even blame yourself. He was extremely beautiful, with those blue eyes, rosy lips, and a body that you knew was built like God's. Not to mention that Bucky was sweet and a true gentleman.

"You’re shaking, doll. Wait a second." He started to take off his jacket, and you tried to stop him.

A sudden wave of his cologne surrounded you. Bucky always smelled good. Something clean with a spicy and woody scent The leather was still warm from his body, and you fought against the desire to bury your nose in it. You didn't even realize that you actually did it, so when you opened your eyes, you saw Bucky, who had this annoying grin on his face.

"So you like it, huh?" He chuckled.

"Oh, shut up; I didn't want to do that."

"Of course, doll. But we should go, I have to take you home safely, right?" Bucky said, leading you to the parking lot. To a motorcycle.

"A motorcycle?" You asked Bucky as you stepped closer to him. "No, I—where’s your car? I’ve never ridden on one of those." He had already sat there and had two helmets in his hands.

"I left it in the garage and didn’t want to make you wait here for too long. But you don’t have to worry; I know what I'm doing, and I won't let you get hurt. I promise." You came closer to him and let him put a helmet on you. You really tried not to tremble as his hands gently fixed it under your chin. "Now sit behind me and put your legs here." He pointed at the weird looking thing.

"Hold on tight, Darlin'." You heard another deep chuckle, and he finally put his helmet on.

He’s just being nice, stop overthinking this.

But you knew this type of guy—always charming and flirting—who could have pretty much anyone. It was stupid of you to think that he saw you as something more than just Steve’s little sister.

"See, I told you that I was a good driver and that you'd get home safely." He hopped off the motorcycle and stood before you while you were trying to take the helmet off. "Let me unlock it."

"We– we’re not really close. I’m probably not even his type." You shrugged. Bucky’s jaw clenched, and he buried his hands in the jeans pockets, as if he was angry and tried not to show you.

"You."

You both were silent.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What were you thinking?

"Say it again." Your throat felt dry, and you just stared at him, not knowing what to do.

"I– Just forget about it, Bucky. It’s stupid–"

"And I didn’t know that you liked me either. "I thought that you felt obligated to take care of me because I'm your best friend’s sister."

"No, I promise you." He kissed the top of your head. "But Steve’s gonna kill me, by the way. He told all of us that you’re not an option and that we can’t touch you."

"Well, I love him, but he can’t decide for me."

"So… Does this mean that you’ll say ‘yes’ if I ask you to go on a date with me? On Sunday, maybe?" You lifted your head to look at him properly, and God, he was so cute when he was nervous.

"Of course, Buck, I wanna go out with you." You smiled at him, and he lowered himself again to give you another sweet kiss on the lips.

"Fuck, you should go home, doll." You’re too sweet for your own good. Wanna save you all for myself." He mumbled against your lips. "Go."

"Goodnight, Bucky. Please text me when you get home, ‘kay?"

"I will. Night, Doll." You left a soft kiss on his stubbled cheek before finally turning around to go home.

Maybe a date with John wasn’t that bad of an idea.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky x you #bucky fic #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky x y/n

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rainfallnightmare · 7 months

Text

Chapter 1

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Florist Y/n x Bartender Sun, Moon, Lunar, Eclipse and BloodMoon

Fluff

Warning: None

Word counts: 1990

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April 17th

Y/n POV:

It was the near beginning of spring. This morning I was driving to my new store that needs to be set up. As I pulled up to my soon to be open store. I park my car as my phone goes off and I pick it up to see who was calling me.

“Great it’s her”

I sighed since it was my mother who was calling me. I never got along with my own mother as she was very strict, pushy and never let me have fun when I was just a kid. My breaking point was when she wouldn’t let me decide my future cause she wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer. “Let's get this over with” I grumble to myself as I answer the call to see what my annoying mother wants. “Is there a reason why you are calling me?” I waited to hear what my mother had to say since all I heard on the other side of the phone were just random noises. After about a minute of quiet, mother just cussed me out then hung up. "That was something?" Putting my phone away as I got out of the car to go meet the old owner. "There they are, I hope your trip wasn't too terrible was it?" Denise, the old store owner said as she welcomed me inside the empty building. "Other than traffic being a bitch, it wasn't too terrible" I scratched the back of my head as I looked around the empty shop.

"Well I hope you make good use of this place, it would be great to see it be alive again" Denise smiled softly as she handed me the keys to the place. As she was chatting with me, she showed me where my new home will be. "I hope this will be as satisfying as a home and a shop" I smiled softly and nodded my head as I looked around the apartment. It was perfect to me as I can live how I want while I start my dream shop soon. "It's perfect, thank you for letting me have the place as I know it was precious to you" Denise chuckled softly and waved me off as she said that she was more than happy that it was in better hands now.

When Denise left me alone to my new home. I looked outside to see that a mover truck was waiting for me as it was now time to get unpacking. "Alright here to a new start" I said to myself as I headed outside to get help from the movers starting moving in my boxes and furniture.

It took about 20 minutes to have all of my belongings in the apartment once the movers left. Now here was the first day of me getting not only my apartment ready and set but I also have to start working on doing some repaint and design to the shop. I started my apartment first as I didn't have much to do and it was just me living here.

"Let's see, my living room is set, my bedroom is almost done and the kitchen is ready whenever I get hungry" I was nice to have my own place away from my toxic mother. As I carried over my last box to the bedroom. I looked out the window to see that I was next to a bar. "Celestial Light Bar, that is an interesting name for a bar" I chuckled softly as I started unpacking the box that had the rest of my belongings in. After I finished unpacking everything, I went to take a little break and layed in my new bed I bought.

"I'll start working on the shop tomorrow, I'm too tired to work on it today" I closed my eyes and relaxed a bit. I didn't realize that I ended up falling asleep. It was a long day for me because I didn't know that I was this tired.

April 18th

Beep beep beep

Hearing my phone alarm going off. I whine at the loud noise as I turn off the noisy phone. After a moment or two, I opened my eyes to see that I was in my new room. "So it wasn't a dream" I sighed in relief as I sat up and stretched.

As I got up and headed over to my dresser to get some clothes to change into. I jumped when I heard a loud slam open as I looked outside. A guy was thrown out of the bar as I watch to see a red like Moon bot came out of bar and crosses it metal arms. “This is interesting” As I watched what was happening, I could tell that the man must be totally wasted by how he staggered to get up. Soon as the guy started to yell at the animatronic that looks like he doesn’t give a damn.

“Go Home and sober up”

I was slightly surprised by the sound of this animatronic voice. A rough deep voice as it coldly tells the customer to leave was hot in my opinion. The man flipped the bot off as he staggered away while the bot turned around to head inside. Before it moved, my eyes widened as it turned its head towards my direction and looked at me. I held my breath as it stared before giving me a simple smile as it went inside the bar.

“I…okay then?” Shaking my head a bit, I went back over and got dressed as I grabbed the keys. Once that happened, I left my apartment and locked it as I headed to my car to head to the store. “Alright, let go get those paints and brushes as I can get started repainting the store's walls” I said to myself as I started to car and drove to the store.

After some time passed, I got what I needed and headed back to my place. Parking my car, I got out and went to my trunk and opened it to see the two paint cans I bought and a few bags with brushes and other things in it. “Let's get these inside and set up so I can start painting” I grabbed the bags first and hung them in on my arms while I grabbed two paint cans and shut my trunk as I headed over to the door.

As I place the paint cans down. I tried to get my keys to unlock the door but I ended up dropping them. “*Sighs* This is my luck” As I crouch down to pick up my keys. I look to see another animatronic outside of the bar cleaning the windows as if it was like a sun but more of an eclipse look. “Take a picture, it’ll last much longer” The animatronic said as it stopped and looked at me. “Oh i'm sorry, I just happened to look and saw you and was surprised” I said quickly getting up as I fumble around to get the right key to unlock the door quickly. “Sure I’ll believe that” The animatronic chuckled softly as it was about to go back to work but then stopped for a moment. “You're not from around here are you sir/ma’am?” I shook my head as I found the key and unlocked the shop's door.

“I just moved here yesterday” I said to the bot as I gathered the paint can’s and opened the door. Before I headed in, I turned to the animatronic and waved goodbye to them. “Well it’s nice to know you… Eclipse” The animatronic said as I tilted my head in confusion. “Eclipse is my name” Eclipse said as he went back to cleaning the windows. “I see, well I’ll see you around then Eclipse” I said to him as I headed inside the shop and closed the door before I set everything down onto the floor. “Alright time to start painting!”

45 minutes later

“Alright the first coat of paint is now on, got to let it dry before I put on another coat of paint” I sighed softly and went over to crack the door open to let the paint smell out so it can dry quicker. As I took a seat onto the ground and looked around. I started to think about what to do since it was gonna be a bit til the paint dries. “Hmm maybe having a look at the bar next door wouldn’t hurt since I got nothing better to do right now” Getting up and looking at myself to see how bad I need to change. I went up to my apartment and took a quick shower while I got new clothes to wear for the rest of the day.

Once I was ready, I grabbed my keys and headed out the door as I locked it then headed to the bar next door. As I opened the door and walked inside. I was amazed by the celestial theme and how big it was as there were a lot of people here. Looking around while I walked over to the bar, I stopped to not just see one but five different animatronics. Eclipse and the red moon looking one was amongst the five with another sun like animatronic and two moon like ones.

“Sunny, we have another customer!” The light blue moon animatronic said as he looked at me with a cute smile. The sun animatronic looked to see me and smiled as the rays on its head danced around happily. “Your right Lunar, go welcome them!” The Sun animatronic said as the one named Lunar came over to where I was and greeted me with a bright smile.

“Welcome sir/ma’am, we hope you enjoy yourself here at celestial light” Lunar said as he guided me over to the bar where the other four were standing. “I see that we meet again sir/ma’am” Eclipse said with a soft chuckle as the red moon animatronic did the same as the moon and Sun animatronics turned to look at the both of them. “You know them Eclipse” The Moon animatronic said as Eclipse shook his head and turned to look at me. “Their our new neighbor next door” Eclipse said as he got down and pulled something out from the bottom and placed a menu in front of me. “A new neighbor, how exciting to hear!” The Sun animatronic said as he held his hand out to me.

“I’m Sun but you can call me sunny, these four are Eclipse that you met already, Lunar who just greeted you, Moon my twin brother and lastly BloodMoon” Sun introduced me to everyone as we shook hands. “I’m Y/n, I just moved here yesterday” I said smiling softly before I looked at the menu that Eclipse gave me not that long ago. “So you're very much a newbie in this town” Moon said as I nodded my head and looked at each of the animatronics. This was the first time I had an actual full on conversation with live animatronics. “So you're all bartenders huh?” I placed the menu down for now as everyone nodded their heads.

“Very popular ones to say the least” BloodMoon spoke as he leaned against the counter and grinned at me proudly. “I see, so what kind of drinks do y'all make?” I ask them personally even tho I could have looked at the menu. “Well sir/ma’am, each of us have our own theme drinks that are special to just your usual normal every day drink you can think of and more” Sun smirks as he places his elbows on the counter and leans against his hand before giving me a wink.

“Really huh, well then I would like to try on of those special drinks if you don’t mind~”

#dca au #aus #dca fandom #eclipse x reader #moondrop x reader #sundrop x reader #lunar x reader #bloodmoon x reader #nature finest addition #nfa y/n #nfa lunar #nfa eclipse #nfa moon #nfa sun #nfa bloodmoon #fnaf sb au

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crazyunsexycool · 1 year

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My little love

Chapter 3

pairing: Bucky Barnes x enhanced!reader

word count: 3.8k

warnings: none really, a taste of domestic bliss maybe, Angel being a sweetie pie

A/N: I’m obsessed with this story!!!!

Series masterlist

Ch. 2

Tony had arranged for a local baby store to close down for the morning just so that you and Steve could shop in peace. The employees were made to sign NDAs before you both walked in. It didn’t stop them from staring, whispering and giggling whenever Steve smiled their way. Currently you stand in the middle of a sea of cribs and beds. Hands on your hips as Steve tested the durability of one of the toddler beds. The frame cracked after he pushed against the mattress.

“Can you try to not break everything?” You whisper yell.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to make sure it was good enough.”

You giggle at his pout.

“It doesn’t matter, I think we should get one of those 3 in 1 beds.” You say as you point to a sign showing a full crib, a toddler bed and finally a daybed.

“Hhmm, seems like a good idea. What color?”

“White would be nice. Clint and Sam are painting my guest room. I picked out some nice pastel colors.”

“I could paint a mural or something.” Steve adds, his eyes hopeful.

“That would be great. Maybe you could do some fairytale characters.”

He nods as he grabs one of the boxes with the crib you’ve picked and places it on the cart you had been provided. From there you went to get the matching bedroom furniture.

It would have been nice having Bucky here, but since the day you told him about his daughter it seemed like he had been avoiding you. You hadn’t really noticed since you were busy with said child. It wasn’t until a day later when you got a reminder of plans you made before any of this happened that you realized that you hadn’t seen him. Steve tried to not bring up the topic but he confirmed he hadn’t seen Bucky either. So while he decided what he wanted to do you made the choice to move baby Barnes out of the hospital wing and into your apartment. She was the most comfortable with you so it made sense although she was letting Steve hold her now. The rest of the team was slowly introducing themselves into her daily life so that she could get used to having people around that weren’t nurses.

You moved around the aisles as you grabbed some other necessities. By the end of the shopping trip you had more clothes, toys and books than what you would need. Most of them were chosen by Steve. You only said no to certain things and even then you had to take them out of the shopping cart without him noticing.

“Was buying three car seats really necessary?” You asked as you loaded bags into the trunk of your car.

“Yes. One for you, one for me and one for Bucky. Listen I know he’s kept his distance but he’ll come around.” He finished loading the bigger item into the pick up truck he drove and walked around to your car and began to help you. “Back then, in between missions, Bucky and I liked to talk about what we were gonna do when we went back home. Most of the time he kept it light. He wanted to eat all of his Ma’s cooking and sleep on a good bed. Take his sisters to Coney Island. But one night after a close call he told me that what he really wanted was to find a girl, fall in love and start a family. He’s found his girl.” Steve says as he looks at you and quirks an eyebrow. “And I know for a fact that he is head over heels in love with you, and it might not be conventional but now he has a daughter. He has his family, he's just scared.”

The bag with sippy cups that was in your hand falls to the floor as you listen to Steve. He grabs the one that rolled out of the bag and places it back in before moving to store the bag in the trunk. You stare at him, your lips slightly parted like you wanted to say something.

“You really think he likes me?”

“Yeah. I know I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic but you two could have something wonderful if he just pulled his head out of his ass.”

You try to hide your smile but fail. “Ok let's Hurry it up Rogers, I don’t pay you to stand around and look pretty.”

“Oh so you think I’m pretty.”

“Shut up, and let’s go!” You laugh as you get in the driver’s seat.

Bucky stood by the crib and looked down at the sleeping form of his daughter. He’d been there everyday since he’d been told he was a father. Stealing moments alone with her and his thoughts. His eyes were still red and puffy from crying. But anytime he thought of how he had found her, tied down on a table only covered by a thin blanket, he couldn’t contain his tears. How could hydra hurt someone so pure and innocent?

He thought he didn’t deserve the way you spoke so well of him to her. Bucky had turned his back on his little girl. Too afraid that he’d just fuck her up worse than hydra has. But you didn’t doubt his ability to be a good father and he wasn’t sure why. What had he done to deserve your trust so easily? You and Steve had already stepped up to provide stability to his daughter and yet you were so sure he’d step up once he got over the initial shock.

Sweet Angel moved and out of her hand fell a small metal figurine, a kitten. Bucky smiles, he knows that was your doing. There’s a small whimper and Angel pouts before she starts crying in her sleep. Bucky’s right hand caresses her cheek as he tells her she’s ok. She hiccups in her sleep before she settles down again.

“She’s beautiful isn’t she?” Steve asks from the door. Bucky nods as he straightens up but doesn’t look up at his friend.

“She’s leaving the medical wing. Y/N is taking her up to her apartment. If that’s ok with you?”

“Yeah, she’ll be better there.” Bucky clears his throat. “How is she?”

“Y/N’s good. A bit tired but once that little Angel is up in her own room I think Y/N will be more comfortable. You should go talk to her, she’s worried.”

“I will.”

“Will you really or are you saying it so that I’ll get off you’re case?”

“I will,” Bucky finally looked up at Steve. “I talked to the lawyers, I’m willing to sign her birth certificate but I’m not ready to be her guardian. I want you and Y/N to do it. Would you?”

“Of course I would and I know Y/N would too.”

“Thank you. I should go and find her then.” Bucky walks out of the room leaving Steve alone. He sighs as he walks over to the crib.

“He’ll get his shit together soon, sweetheart. I promise.”

You had just finished setting Angel up in the new booster chair for the dining room table when you heard a knock at your door.

“Who's at the door Friday?” You ask the A.I.

“It’s Sergeant Barnes.”

“Let him in please.”

“Hello, Y/N?” You could hear Bucky’s voice from the living room.

“In the kitchen.”

You hear his footsteps get closer while you begin to plate up some food. Bruce had given you the ok to try some soft food with Angel and you wanted to start immediately.

“Hey.” You say as you look over your shoulders to find Bucky at the entrance of your kitchen and dining area. His eyes moved from you to his daughter and back. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah, fine. I wanted to talk but I can come back later.”

“Nonsense. Would you like to join us for dinner?”

He thought about it for a moment and nodded as Angel began to babble, getting your attention. You move over to the cabinet that holds your plates and pull another one out and fill it with everything you’d made for dinner. Bucky is at your side grabbing his plate while you take yours and the small bowl for Angel.

“Are you ready for dinner, sweet girl?” You ask in a slightly higher pitched voice as you walk around her seat so that she could see you.

Bucky smiles as he watches you place the plates down and then kneel next to his daughter’s chair. He moves around the table and takes the chair next to yours, which ends up being directly in front of Angel.

“Can you say hi?” You wave at Bucky, hoping that the toddler would mimic the motion. “Say hi, sweet Angel.” Her little hand comes up, imitating the motion you just did “good job.” She smiled and tried to hide her face from Bucky. “Oh are you getting bashful now?”

While you’re having this one sided conversation with a toddler, Bucky’s heart might as well explode right then and there. If he hadn’t been in love with you before, this right here would be the moment that would make him fall. In a matter of days a dream he had convinced himself he’d never get to live is playing out in front of him and it’s real. He’s starting to question his decision of stepping away from her. What if you and his daughter are his one chance of having something good after all the bad he’d been through?

“Buck?”

“Hhmm? Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I said your food was going to get cold.”

“Sorry.” He looked down at his plate. “Your cheesy mashed potatoes, what’s the special occasion?”

“My cheesy mashed potatoes are only for special occasions?” You laugh. “You really want to know?” You asked as you leaned over to grab a spoonful of the food in question and offer it up to Angel.

“Yeah.”

“Bruce said sweet Angel here could move on to soft foods instead of just liquids. Thought I’d start off with something good.”

“Oh. Well if she doesn’t like them she’s grounded, how about that?” He says with a small smile.

You hear a small ‘mmm’ from her side of the table.

“No grounding for her I guess.” You chuckle as you hand her the spoon. She had been wanting to do what you did, so if you tried to feed her with a spoon she wanted to do it herself. She made a mess every single time but it was good to let her try.

You turn to look at Bucky and find him with a ghost of a smile and a tear rolling down his cheek. He wipes it away but he knows you’ve seen it. Your hand rests against his forearm and you give him a reassuring squeeze.

“I’m sorry it’s just-“

“You need to stop apologizing, Bucky. I don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.”

“For everything. For leaving the way I did the other day. Not taking responsibility for her.”

“Well I would have probably done the same if someone told me I had a daughter I didn’t know about. And as far as taking responsibility it’s something we can talk about.”

“I wanted to talk to you about the guardianship that I want to set up for her.”

“How about we talk after dinner?”

“Yeah, we can do that.”

You both stay silent, unsure of what to say next so you focus back on your meal. For the first time since Bucky had come to the compound there was an awkward sort of tension between you. The only noise coming from your utensils and angel who was babbling away while she spooned food into her mouth messily.

“Ok, I need to get her cleaned up.” You said with a laugh when you realized there was more food on Angel’s shirt than what she probably ate.

“I’ll clean this up for you.”

“You don’t have too.”

“Y/N, it’s literally the least I could do.”

“Ok, but don’t disappear on me after.” You said as you moved and picked up the messy toddler before walking back towards the bedrooms.

You bathed and dressed Angel, in new pastel colored Captain America footie pajamas, and walked back out toward the kitchen to find that Bucky had washed the dishes.

“Bucky?” You call out when you don't see him.

“Living room.”

You walk down the hall to find him sitting on your couch. Bucky had done it a hundred times before. His boots were off and his feet were resting on the coffee table while he held the remote in one hand and a beer in the other. There was a bowl of your favorite ice cream waiting for you. This somehow felt different, with his daughter on your hip and her favorite pink bear, you couldn’t help but think of what Steve had told you earlier that day. The possibility warmed your heart.

A small hand on your cheek breaks you out of your thoughts and you look down to find the second pair of the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever seen looking at you. She smiles and coos as she points at Bucky before waving at him. He waves back with a small ‘hi’ and she hides her face behind her teddy. You sit on the couch settling Angel on your lap while leaving some space in between you and Bucky. This was different too, you’d always sit close together and although you didn’t necessarily cuddle, the feeling of having him next to you was comforting.

“Alright what are we watching?” Bucky asks from his spot.

“I’m not sure I was thinking of a princess movie. To see if she likes it.” You said as you absentmindedly moved your hand over her head the feeling of peach fuzz, letting you know her hair was starting to grow, tickling your palm.

“Ok, how about,” Bucky searches through some streaming services until he finds what he wants. “This one?”

“Snow White?”

“Yeah, I took my little sisters to watch it when it came out in 1937.” He looks over at you and you nod with a smile. Bucky hits play while you turn Angel around to face the tv.

As the movie starts playing you hear a small gasp from the little girl as she looks up at you with wonder and points at the tv. Bucky leans forward and hands you the bowl of ice cream. Even though you know it’s a bad idea you give some to Angel to try. Her eyes widen and her mouth makes a little ‘o’ shape before she claps her hands in approval.

About 20 minutes into the movie she starts to wiggle around in your lap so you set her down in the empty space between you and Bucky. It has been a while since you’ve seen Snow White so you’re distracted and unaware that Angel is crawling her way over to her father. That is until you hear his breath hitching. When you turn to ask what’s wrong you find that Angel is standing on the couch next to Bucky. One hand against his chest and the other holding on to her pink bear, her head tilted to the side. It’s like she was trying to read him or convince him of something as she babbled. Bucky’s eyes go wide as he stares at her.

“I’m sorry, let me get her.” You put your ice cream down and move to pull her away from Bucky.

“No, don’t. It’s ok, as long as she doesn’t cry.”

But Bucky’s daughter wasn’t content with just standing by him. No, in fact she laid her head on his chest and yawned before letting her weight fall on his thigh and getting comfortable.

“Support her back so she doesn’t fall.” You told Bucky, who sat there stunned. His right hand sits gently against her back and she seems so much smaller in his arms. “I can take her if you want.”

Bucky shakes his head. He’s mindful of his movements, just like his Ma had taught him when he first held his sisters. With a gentleness Bucky reserved only for you he managed to move her around so that he could cradle her securely in both of his arms and he rocked her. She looked so peaceful as her eyes fluttered closed, as if she’d never been through the horrors hydra put her through. Bucky took in her features from this much closer point of view and he was in awe. She was so small, so trusting and all his.

Instead of trying to take Angel and putting her in her new crib you let them stay like that. You knew it was important for both of them and hopefully it would make him realize that she needed him just as much as he needed her. As quietly as possible you got up and went to the kitchen to give them space.

You sipped on some wine as you sat on the kitchen counter. Bucky appeared in the entryway with a sleeping toddler in his arms and looked at you for guidance. It was slightly amusing to see the world’s deadliest assassin afraid to wake a sleeping child.

“You can put her down in her crib. Make sure you cover her up with the pink blanket.” You whispered and he nodded before disappearing down the hall.

The glass of wine hides your smile as Bucky rounds the corner again. He leans against the counter in front of you. Arms crossed over his broad chest and eyes so full of mixed up feelings, it made you want to hug him. You’d called his name a few times but he was lost in thought. With a wiggle of your fingers you made his left hand move just enough to get his attention. You’d never use your abilities against his will but he had given you permission for this one thing.

“I’m sorry what?” He said when he finally looked up at you.

You didn’t say anything, instead you just stretched out your hand and waited for him. Bucky knew what it meant, you were offering physical support. You both knew that it was a tricky subject. For a while he didn’t like being touched unless it was absolutely necessary. But the first time he did accept a hug it was from you, on his birthday. He’d been addicted to your touch ever since.

Bucky’s hand slides into yours perfectly. You wrap your fingers around his wrist and tug lightly to get him to move towards you and he does until he’s standing between your legs. Even when you’re sitting on your kitchen counter you still have to tilt your head up to look at Bucky when he’s this close, but only slightly. He slumps forward once he feels your arms wrap around his shoulders, and he relaxes further into your hold once his face is hidden in the crook of your neck and you play with his hair.

You were his safe space.

“What did you want to talk about?” You ask after a few minutes of just holding each other.

Bucky holds your hands in his, making lazy patterns with his thumbs as he thinks about what he wants to say.

“I came here with clear intentions of asking you to be her guardian.” he sighs.

“But?”

“But now I’m not sure. I mean I still think that you’re the best person to take care of her but at the same time she’s my daughter. What am I supposed to do? How do I even raise a kid? I don’t know what I’m doing.”

You smile sweetly at him. “We could do both.”

“Both?”

“I can still take care of her, she can stay here with me but you can still be her father.”

“What if I hurt her? I could never forgive myself. There’s so many things that I don’t even know I’ll be able to give her.”

“Well how about if we start with one thing. Something that only you can do for her.”

“What’s that?”

“Give her a name.”

Ch. 4

Permanent tag list: @kunaikunari @rebekahdawkins @cjand10 @nalny5 @sturchling @angywritesstuff @seitmai @writing-for-marvel @goldylions @darkhairedmenrule @little--baby--bear @almosttoopizza @littleseasiren @teambarnes72

series tag list: @buckystevelove @vicmc624 @just-someone11

#my little love series #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #Bucky Barnes x enhanced!reader #girl dad!bucky barnes #dad!bucky barnes #dad!bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #winter soldier

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kurumeki · 5 months

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This will be long and personal, so you can feel free to scroll past it.

Good things of 2023:

Grandmother’s 80th birthday; we had a celebration in a restaurant with family and her friends. Almost 50 people!

Morrie’s live stream Flesh Odyssey at his birthday (4th March)

My best friend @vinidra visited in March and I remember getting wasted and listening to Black Sabbath and Def Leppard till 3am. And watching that one 1989 Aerosmith live! Wasn’t there Dir en grey stream on GALACAA? I think we got access from a friend and watched that too.

On April 1st Morrie’s fan club Reveries opened on BitFan application – with foreign fans finally being able to join. It is a pricey affair, but the consistency and amount of content he brings every single day is so worth it. I love being a Reverie and having near direct contact with Morrie and the fans. So grateful for this community.

Right after Easter, on April 12th, we got BUCK-TICK’s new album. No one would predict it would be the last release before Sakurai passing away… It’s a solid record and ワルキューレの騎行 will forever be one of my favourite songs.

April was such a good month for me – on 18th I got the news I got promoted to a team leader. So, following a big raise for 2022 performance, I got another big raise with role change. Feeling like I’m finally getting the money I deserve for my hard work. The role is difficult and very challenging, but also satisfying and I enjoy what I do. It helped me a lot with improving my communication skills, standing up for myself and feeling confident with my decisions.

End of April was my friend Karin visiting, we went to Metallica symphonic concert in philharmonic and had amazing time overall during the long May weekend.

In May I came out to my co-workers and I was met with so much support I’m still overwhelmed. Being able to feel like I can be 100% myself at work is amazing. You don’t realise you need it until you get this freedom.

May 23rd was Boris live in Warsaw. I reconnected with an old friend and had amazing time with him during the gig. The show itself was everything I ever wanted from Boris – perfectly heavy and fast. Being front row surely contributed to that. My mission was to wait for the band after the show and talk to Atsuo and I succeeded! Got a picture with the band ant all. All possible thanks to a mutual friend of the band and mine.

May 31st – Def Leppard and Motley Crue in Krakow! Again hanging out with @vinidra and his friend. The show… let’s say Motley Crue was meh, though visual and female dancers were incredible. But Def Leppard was there to save the night, it was incredible and I had so so so much fun! Can’t wait to see them again live.

In June I visited Karin in Krynica Morska. It’s a very thin piece of land with sea at one side and huge lake on the other. I loved the beach walks there and hearing the waves at night, when falling asleep.

Also in June my close friend had a major surgery. So brave of her to decide to undergo it and I’m even more happy that she’s made steady recovery, now having no regrets.

June 20th was the day Josh Kiszka of Greta Van Fleet came out! I’m always happy learning that musicians I love are just as queer as me.

And by end of June DEAD END has re-issued all four albums from 80s: DEAD LINE, Ghost Of Romance, shambara and ZERO. Got them all, in true collector spirit.

July 21st Greta Van Fleet released a new album. I wasn’t stoked about it at first but of course – the more I listened to it, the more I fell in love with it. It’s probably my favourite album of the year.

I didn’t do anything special for my birthday on August 12th, but the following week I was flying to Cologne for a week to stay with my best friend. We did a lot of furniture and home decor shopping for the new house she moved into. We went to cinema to see Metallica’s live stream, and otherwise just had good time being lazy. Oh! And I helped her pick out and buy her first guitar. Love the visit in huge 4-story music shop in Cologne.

In September I’ve volunteered to take dogs from a shelter for walks for a day. I want to do it again.

On September 27th Morrie released another solo album Solitudes I. I feel like I didn’t listen to it enough this year, but this is miles better than Ballad D to me.

October 15th was election day in Poland and this was incredible – how many people showed up. For the first time I had to stand in the queue to vote. And we won. Fascist right wing government was overthrown. I have some home things will finally get better in my country.

Fast forward to November 5th – after a lot of trouble I made it to Hamburg and met with a friend I’ve know for years, but never had a chance to see in person. Had amazing time! It’s incredible to have such dedicated Morrie fan so close and be able to talk about music for couple of hours without feeling tired.

November 6th – I also finally met my close friend, we’ve never seen each other before. She’s such a lovely human being. She introduced me to Greta Van Fleet, so it felt only right to gift her a ticket to their show. The live was amazing, the most beautiful show I’ve ever been to. I will never get over how talented those young guys are.

From Nov 7th to 11th I was staying with my friend in Bielefeld. Met her cutest Siamese cat Bibi!

And last thing worth mentioning – I got the courage to go to company winter party and I actually had fun. I don’t remember when was the last time I simply wanted to have fun and when was the last time I danced. My whole body hurt after that night, but I really loved it. Oh, and I stole the neon flamingo lamp. Worth it.

#personal #i have a good life i think

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steelycunt · 1 year

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hello oh my god HELLO!! insane ask prompt .. there's no coming out of this alive. but 2 or 4!! whichever choose your fav xx

HI YOU. god. well a million years later, i am here xx i'm so so so sorry xx literally nothing happens in this one either they're just smug and obsessed with each other but i don't let them be smug often enough so it felt fair xx went for two in the end xx

There’s this faint white scar, on his chin—it cleaves through his bottom lip, just slightly, and curls downwards. It’s the shape of Norway. Sirius is twelve when he first notices it, over breakfast: orange juice and fried mushrooms and his best friend’s mouth. He’s nineteen, now, when he kisses it, and that’s only in lieu of swallowing it whole.

“I need to show you—” Remus pauses, twists to spit a cherry pit into the souvenir mug they’ve balanced precariously on the chair’s arm, “I need to show you how to use the washing machine.”

Sirius stretches one arm across Remus’ waist; they’re crushed into the bile-yellow armchair they got from a second-hand furniture shop last week—a bargain, even if it took them the best part of the day to drag it, with James’ help, from the shop to their flat—and it’s all a lazy knot of hands and hipbones and dry knees, rucked up shirts and boxer shorts.

Tangle in an old shoelace. They’ve been sitting here, just like this, for hours—dust has settled, most likely. Moss has grown. My heart is like a wheel, drawls the record player.

“Not right now, you don’t.” His nose is digging into Remus’ cheek. He wants to kiss him, wants to kiss his lips and his neck and his eyelids and that lovely curl of hair, just there—which isn’t new—and so, without a second thought, he does—which is.

“Do it later,” he urges. “Won’t take long. I’d like to think I’ve acquired skills in my life thus far that will prove transferable to putting dirty clothes in a big barrel.”

“Well, I’d like to think so too, but then—I also thought you’d acquired skills that would prove transferable to using a hoover, up until last night. And my blind faith ended up making fools of us both, didn’t it?”

Sirius dismisses him with a gesture, plastic palette from the Co-op in hand; the little fruits roll like eyeballs. “You know, I’m starting think you don’t really care all that much about household chores, Moony. You just like seeing what a shite muggle I make, so that you get to be smug about it. It probably helps you cope with the reality that I make such an exceptionally talented wizard.”

“Wow.” Remus chuckles, draws his head back to look at him properly, to present him with this awful little grin—this boyish, tilting, fruit-stained grin. Everything is funny. Even the things that aren't. Days passing like the beats in a knock-knock joke. “You’re exceptionally bloody insufferable, is what you are.”

And, sat here, there’s this thing in Sirius that swells so fiercely; it bucks around inside his chest, which is the drum of a marching band, which is a pinball machine for the cherry pit he accidentally swallowed earlier. Except the cherry pit is his own heart. Except the cherry pit is the entire fucking sun. All orange.

He’s thinking about all that time spent locking themselves in broom cupboards. Co-conspirators, holding hands under the table. Notes passed on balled-up corners of parchment during class, hello, hello I like you do you like me, hello I want to see you lets skive off after lunch, we can snog behind the greenhouses yes/no? (say yes please.)

Today, standing in their very own flat. Putting their hands on each other’s faces. Not once—not fucking once, did Sirius have to check over his shoulder before they did it.

“I don’t think that’s true,” he argues, with a click of his tongue. “You seem to suffer me rather well. Look—you’re wearing my shirt.”

“That’s exactly my point, you fucking twat. All of my shirts are in the laundry,” Remus shoots back, and then—he kisses Sirius, quickly, on the mouth. Once, twice. Smiles, afterwards, as though he’s stolen something from him, and is now holding it out of Sirius’ reach. His stomach, perhaps. His spinal cord.

“What are you smiling about?” Sirius demands, regardless of the fact that he’s doing it to. It’s hard not to. They keep waking up in the same bed. His boyfriend is wearing his shirt. Later, they’re going to do laundry. He pushes his forehead against Remus’. “Stop it.”

“Nothing. I’m not, it’s only—we really live together, properly,” Remus says. He speaks quietly, as though their flat is a beast he is trying not to wake. “We don’t have to pretend anymore. Or sneak around. I just get to—suffer you, all the time.”

It catches Sirius off-guard, makes his face ache. Someone begs, let me roll it!

“Mm, lucky you,” he tries to tease, but it doesn’t land right, it’s all soft in the belly—lacks the snarky, whip-crack delivery he intended. He clears his throat, to punctuate it. Eats another cherry. Red flesh beneath his teeth.

Remus, watching him. His fine brown eyelashes. Sirius’ arm, draped across him. “Yes,” he agrees. “I think so too.”

#oh what i would do for a cherry right now......fruit of the gods i miss them theyre all i lived on this summer. i was eating like.#a palette a day.#anyway this is soooo. theyre so mushy and gross but i think maybe sometimes they deserve to be :-/ idk you be the judge xx #r/s #my fic #ridi drabbles

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cilogram · 2 years

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The Sparks 2022 Japan Tour Extravaganza

(AKA. my time spent Sparks-ing for 4 days in a row)

Friday, Aug 19th:

Sonic Mania, Chiba

For this festival show I had a friend with me, and I regret that I was too embarrassed to pull him away from another band he knew to get to Sparks unreasonably early. We ended up arriving 20 mins early, which was not enough, haha.

Still, I was smiling like an idiot about 5 rows back, thankfully well within the front zone of the keyboard. I think from my blog you may have noticed that I like Ron. Obligatory keyboard photo before the show began:

In any case, Sparks came on at 11pm. When I saw the moving stage cameras, I was so excited to realize they'd be filming the performance professionally. You've probably all seen the video of this show by now and, if so, you'll know they did an abridged version of the 2022 US & Europe setlist.

I had sent my friend a playlist of Sparks songs the day before so he'd be ready for the show, including Shopping Mall Of Love, giving the caveat that "they probably won't play this one to a festival crowd." I was so happy to be proven wrong! That track was a personal highlight.

Other highlights of the Friday show for me include Tips For Teens (an all-time favourite) and Angst In My Pants, as well as, of course, every other track.

(And, lest we forget, Russell's banana dance.)

All That was a beautiful closer to a stellar show. The energy both on- and off-stage was so high, and my friend (who stayed til 5am when the festival ended) said that Sparks gave the best performance of the whole event :')

I felt pretty mesmerized hearing their songs live for the first time, seeing Sparks being real in front of me...

Everything I love about their music was just all coalescing and it was such a fun experience. The crowd was also great, as you can see in the video. What a night!

Saturday, Aug 20th:

Ginza Tsutaya book shop: the Q&A

This particular book shop is really beautiful, and has a very impressive arts section. You can't see its beauty from the Q&A video because the event space is a small, screened-off area, but please enjoy this image from their website:

When we went in at first we got our blu ray or dvd of the documentary, signed by Ron and Russell.

(Not very relevant, but adorably one of the staff members tested sitting on the interview chairs and failed at least 6 times to get on one, such was the tight arrangement of the furniture)

The MC explained that they'd taken audience questions beforehand and would pick 'the good ones' (a bold lie!) to ask Sparks. I say that just because a few were quite inane questions, and some they've been getting asked since the band's inception. Poor Sparks, they can't seem to escape such things... but the answers they gave were all very thoughtful, and they politely answered even the not-great ones with patience and tact. Russell especially steered a few awkward questions into something a bit more worthwhile. Ron did most of the talking, though, if I remember correctly.

Edit: if you haven't seen it, you can watch it here.

And if you fear the bad questions, I suggest at least watching the very end for amusing parting words from Sparks. (Out of respect for Ron and Russell, I obviously cannot disclose details of the depraved scene that took place after the camera was switched off.)

Admittedly, I wish it had been a more intellectually-themed talk about their career and living an artistic life, as the event description seemed to suggest, but with it also being a promo for the release of The Sparks Brothers on DVD, I understand it was mostly aimed towards new fans.

I was glad that I went, anyway. Getting to hear them talk normally in person was really nice. They seem very personable, (and patient, I say again!).

Sunday, Aug 21st:

Summer Sonic in Osaka.

A mostly-outdoor festival, at which Sparks played on the only indoor stadium stage (thank you, Sparks, it was a humid 36° outside).

This was much wilder than the Chiba version of the festival on Friday. Learning my lesson from that day, I made sure to go to Sparks' stage eeeaaarly. 2 whole acts early. And it paid off! I got to stand in the front row, something I'd never done before at any gig, and the experience was really... incredible. Obligatory keyboard photo before the show began, #2:

I've never danced so much in all my life. I'm not kidding when I say I almost threw up on the way back to the hotel from how much jumping around I'd done.

The audience were great in Osaka, too. Impressive synchronization with the songs, so many hands in the air at all times. The setlist that day was pared-down to just the big hit, danceable songs, which I very much understand for this kind of festival. At the end of the set, while Russell was blowing kisses to the audience, Ron dramatically wiped his mouth in disgust instead. Peak Sparks activity.

On the way out of the stadium, I met (Instagram user) satokina_2, whose illustrations you've maybe seen, and who showed me this incredibly impressive album art kimono made by (fellow IG user) ready.Freddie.1977

It's so well-made and vibrant... really something else!

The final day of the tour, Monday, Aug 22nd

WWWX Shibuya in Tokyo: the solo show

On the way to Tokyo, I of course listened to Bullet Train on the bullet train, and many giggles were had. I also watched the official video of Friday's show and relived all those good moments. I only wish the audio sounded as good as it had in real life, but that's to be expected. As someone who can't bear to bring out a camera/phone when artists are onstage, it means a lot that the festival recorded one of them in full.

When I got into the venue on Monday night, I did want to get some merchandise, but it meant queueing for it then and there and sacrificing a place near the front... I just couldn't do it.

Instead, I made it to about the 3rd row, again in direct Ron-view. Obligatory keyboard photo before the show began, #3:

The stage at WWWX is quite low, so although I wasn't front row, I was still so close to that glorious keyboard. I can't say how lucky I feel to have gotten ideal locations at all these shows.

Ron walked on with an umbrella up over his head and then... threw it away, still open. Yeahh! Russell walked on cheerfully, sans umbrella. He had on a black jacket instead of the full banana ensemble, with Hello Kitty badge and a rosette usually worn by event MCs.

The setlist this time was even closer to the US & Europe tour one, just without Edith Piaf and Get In The Swing. That meant we got 8 songs we hadn't heard until that night!

Hearing I Predict live for the first time was such a joy! One of my loves.

Same for Under The Table With Her. Russell's voice on that one, especially, was transcendental. Unbelievably perfect vocals... I wish I could hear it again!

(Truly the only way it could have been improved was if Ron had come in with the 'Dinner for 12. Thank you' XD)

Again, I may have danced and jumped too hard this time, but I had (reluctantly) skipped dinner so I wouldn't be in danger of throwing up again from all the jumping.

Speaking of danger, Ron took a step back near the end of Shopping Mall Of Love and tripped over the lights by the drum kit, but he yet lives. He proceeded to replace the 'yeah's in the song with a gently rueful, 'small stages...'

(The stage was indeed very small. The venue was, too)

Russell's performance during I Married Myself was so great, it was one of the best crowd-pleasers of the night, judging by the reaction it got. He really sells the 'hey baby!' looking into that mirror (another first for us at the 2022 Japan shows).

And how many times have I sat in my car, listening to the dramatically drawn-out "wonder boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiíiiiiiiiiii" line, dreaming that I might one day hear it live? The answer is: many. And on Monday my dream was fulfilled, with an impeccable vocal performance!

We Love Each Other So Much was equally impeccable (impeccable impeccable, yeah)... I'm in awe when Russell does that song. I was so grateful to hear it live because the only studio versions available to listen to are of course from Annette, with just the actors singing. They deliver it well for the movie, but they're not Russell ;_; This is unrelated to everything else, but after one of the songs he almost thanked us in French and then stopped himself. Amazing.

We also got the 'boyfriend' version of Lawnmower, which I consider a grand and auspicious blessing.

For the encore, Ron came out wearing a t-shirt for his beloved film series, 'It's rough being a man' (男はつらいよ), and Russell stood behind him and held up the fabric at his arms so it was easier to see.

When the encore was over, Russell announced that their new, upcoming album is finished(!). Then he thanked us for supporting them and their work so much, and professed Sparks' Japan-love a little more, which was touching.

At the very end, he gave a cute 'see you later!' in adorably American-sounding Japanese, and then Ron said 'I love you!' in Japanese as he left the stage.

Such a cute, lovely way to end the show. All the gigs just had this incredible positive energy... such a great experience getting to hear all those songs live and see Ron and Russell up there playing for us. Their whole approach to creativity is so inspiring, and it just... feels good to be here on the earth at the same time they are. I'm so happy I made it to these shows.

Well, if you read this far, I really applaud you and thank you for indulging me in my tedious retelling/feelings.

Misc:

After the show, I was lucky enough to meet our very own @adreamofroses, who surprised me with some wonderful, hand-made Sparks pin badges. Thank you so much! I'll cherish them forever :')

And satokina_2 was giving out these beautiful commemorative art cards, and kindly held onto mine for me until the show was over (I didn't have a bag to keep them safe in). Thank you, satokina, for your great friendliness!

Enjoy the upcoming US festival shows, everyone! I can't wait to see photos and hear all about them. ✨

#Sparks #Sparks band #Sparks Tour 2022 #Sparksposting #in longform... overly long form #😅

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the-tiger-with-a-computer · 2 years

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Halloween Week 2: Spooky Season with Alien Robots Part 1 (TFP/Transformers Prime)

Sorry that this came out late, I have a lot going on and I just did not have time to write this.

(Takes place after the Transformers Prime film Predacons Rising with is after season 3 of TFP so there will be spoilers.)

The humans were planning on decorating the Autobot base in preparation for the Autobots to visit Earth. Ratchet, while confused by the holiday of Halloween, was eventually convinced by the kids to help them decorate the base. Though, first, the kids needed to buy the decorations.

Jack: Thank you for taking us shopping for Halloween decorations mom.

June: It's no problem. Besides, that place could use a bit of color and more furniture.

Raf: I can't wait to see Bee again.

Miko: Yeah, it's been a while since we have seen everyone.

Jack: So, where should we start?

Miko: How about some Halloween lights?

June: Yeah, not happening. Remember how huge the base is? It will take a lot a lot of lights to really get everything.

Raf: Then maybe we can just decorate the main area?

June: Sure. Each of you picks a different type of light and we will get the right length.

With that, the three scatter to find lights that they liked. Miko picked some bat lights, Jack got standard lights, and Raf got candy corn lights.

June: Great picks kids. Now, let us go see what we can get to hand on the walls.

Miko: All right! Let's get going!

Jack: HEY! Wait up!

With that Miko bolted to another area with Jack and Raf following close behind. June watched them and simply decided to send Jack a text that she will be waiting for them in the candy aisle.

Jack and Raf: *trying to catch their breath*

Miko: So, where do we start?

Jack: Maybe we can get some glow-in-the-dark ghosts or some stars and planets?

Raf: That sounds like a good idea.

Miko: Yeah. Great thinking bro. Raf and Jack, how about you two go look around here for some ghosts, stars, and planets while I go look for some other good decorations?

Raf: Sure thing.

Jack: Sounds like a plan. My mom will be waiting for us in the candy aisle, so we will meet there when we have what we want.

Miko: All right, see you guys there.

With that, the three kids split up and went to go look around the store. By the time they got back to June Miko had gotten a lot of glow-in-the-dark ghosts, stars, and planets. Jack and Raf had gotten a few things, bats, a few other ghosts, a big trick or treat sign, and punkins of various sizes. June reviews the decorations, before asking Miko to put the ghosts back.

Miko: Why though, ghosts are great.

June: Well I don't want any of the Autobots to see eyes staring at them in the middle of the night and blasting at the wall so put them back.

Miko: Uhhh. Fine. I'll be right back.

Miko then left to put the ghosts back and Raf and Jack put the other items onto the conveyor belt.

After they got back to the Autobot base the kids were excited to show Ratchet the decorations.

Ratchet: While I still don't get this human thing, I did agree to help you decorate the base.

Miko: Good, 'cause we need your help.

Raf: We can start by placing the stars and planets in a way that reflects Cybertron's stars and planets.

Ratchet: Let's get started.

The rest of the day was spent decorating the base and getting things ready for their friends' arrival and by the end, the base looked great.

Stay tuned cause the next part is going to come out on Friday or this weekend at the latest.

#halloween special #tranformers prime #tfp #tfp ratchet #tfp jack #tfp june #tfp raf #tfp miko

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umichenginabroad · 1 year

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A Little Solo Exploration in Italy

Tak... I took advantage of our class absence policy and decided to make a trip to Milan and Venice this week! Typically, I don't like missing class because it's just so stressful to catch up afterward, but for the few days I was in Prague, all I did was grind and rest so I could enjoy this trip to the fullest. Plus, I'd never gone to Italy before and really really wanted to make it there before the end of my program :)

It was so nice to see another one of my friends in Milan. Staying with her and hanging out kinda felt like I was studying abroad there too; in the sense that this trip was much more relaxing than my travels typically are. (We watched 9 episodes of the show Suits in the 3 days I visited Milan)

Me and her enjoying some homemade pasta and in front of the Duomo <3

The city itself was gorgeous too. I actually found out when I arrived that Design Week was happening too, which means that tons of exhibitions opened around the city showcasing different art and interior design things. Some favorites were this flowery one with pastel furniture pieces---ngl I have no idea what the flowers had to do with it--- and this one in a river/canal about sustainable boats. I actually walked to the water one just thinking it was a cool dock but it turned out to be an exhibit.

My friend taught me some Italian, thankfully, because it surprised me how many people didn't speak English. In Prague, I feel like most of the time I try using Czech, the person immediately switches to English because they can hear my accident haha. Despite that people were super nice, and I also randomly heard a lot of French and Mandarin being spoken? More on that later

In terms of things I saw, I explored SO much of the city. One of the days I went out on my own and walked from the Southwest to the Northeast corner... I actually really enjoy having little solo adventures when I'm traveling. Sometimes coordinating with other people and trying to find places everyone wants to go to gets tiring (not the case here but in general). Nevertheless, it does get lonely and I'm a big "make random comments on the things I'm walking by person" so it's always nice to have company then. My friend came with me the next day tho and I'd have to say my favorite part was going up to the Duomo terraces with her! The architecture and details are just insane. We looked it up and it took 600 years to complete the church.

Navigli (district with canals), Basilica di Sant'Ambrogio, Modern part of Milan, Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II (shopping area), and terraces

As for Venice, a nice summary of my trip would be walking, water, churches, and more walking ahaha. I'm starting to think I have a walking obsession because for my one full day in Venice I literally walked a half marathon in distance. It was so beautiful with the blue skies though. Very picturesque and I ended up with too many pictures as evidenced by all the pics in this post.

View from the Rialto Bridge and one of the first pics I took after arriving

Food was delicious ofc, although I'd have to say I've had enough Italian food for the rest of my program. I can only handle so much pizza, pasta, and bread sorryyy, but gelato I could get again definitely (I ate gelato for three straight days)

Also went a bit spontaneous on my planning because friends said I should just wander and explore, so some of the best things were this bookstore that uses books to damn the area during high tide, taking a waterbus down the Grand Canal (would SO recommend), and going to Murano and Burano which are other islands in the Venetian lagoon.

It was so cool seeing everything, but all the walking made me miss traveling in a group because I started to get bored towards the afternoon. (I literally texted my friends I missed them lol) Sooo I am so glad to be back in Prague and not traveling the last weeks too. Besides a quick trip to Krakow, I'm done flying and training places. On one hand it's a little sad because that means the end is coming, but on the other, I get to rest and enjoy home :)

Na brzkou viděnou,

Catherine Jiang Computer Science Tech Career Accelerator in Prague

Czech Words

Tak - so

Na brzkou viděnou - see you soon

#UmichEnginAbroad #IPEcsPrague #CatherineJiang #IPEWinter23 #Prague #Milan #Venice

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writingdesk-ravings · 1 year

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Shadow Of A House

→ Summary: Victoria visits her sister after not seeing her or her home town for decades. [Prompt curtesy of Reedsy]

→ Word Count: 1.1 K

→ A/N: Since it's kind of vague I wanted to clarify. The main character is immortal and doesn't age.

→ Genre: Supernatural, Drama[?],

→ Warnings: idk

I shuffled out of the train, trying my best not to get tripped up by the crowd. Lillian grabbed my arm and dragged me along until we were far enough from the mass of people at the train station.

We walked along the cobblestone sidewalk in silence. “Mr Brodeur said you could have the rest of the day off.” She stated offhandedly.

I looked at her with slight surprise. “I thought he said I only have an hour?” Lillian merely shrugged in response.

“He said your curfew is midnight.” She said, shoving her pale hands into her coat pockets. We continued to stroll through the busy streets, my eyes wandering from place to place.

I looked at everything around me, taking in all the changes that had been made in the… 60 years that had passed. The time that had gone by barely registered to me.

Other businesses had replaced most of the shops, some with apartments and some with new stores. The old boutique had turned into a bakery.

I glanced at Lillian, and she seemed to understand what I meant. “We can go later.” There weren’t many people in our group that would like pastries. If there was one thing I missed it was the noise. It sounds odd to say, but I truly miss hearing all the people living around me.

There were so many things I wanted to show to Lillian. We made our way to the park; the grass was much more well kept than I remembered and the benches all looked new. The trees were still the same, some of them had scarcely grown and some weren't even there anymore.

The walk went by quicker than I had expected it to. We were in a completely different part of the city by the end. I scanned the buildings, many of them having either fresh coats of paints or were practically falling apart at the seams. My eyes darted around again when Lillian interrupted my thoughts, “I know you’re stalling, Tori,” she said, “You should really just get it over with.”

I cast my gaze down at the floor. Even though I couldn't see her face I could still feel her eyes staring daggers at me. “I’ll leave you to it, good luck.” She joked and walked into a nearby alley, leaving me standing alone on the sidewalk.

As I watched her leave, I noticed tufts of white hair around the crown on her head. I would need to tell her about it later.

I pulled myself together and walk in a direction I knew all too well. It wasn't long before I arrived at the old house.

There were clear signs that time had passed. New windows, countless renovations, a fresh coat of paint but it still felt like home. I could only hope that Edith still lived there, or that she was still alive.

That thought - that I had not only abandoned my little sister not only in life but also in death, that I had missed her passing and funeral entirely - made my throat tighten.

I slowly ascended the steps to the front door and rang the bell - another recent addition to the house.

A woman I didn't recognise opened the door. She looked confused, she clearly didn't know me either. She had Edith’s eyes.

“Does Edith still live here? I’d like to see her.” I said as confidently as I could, trying to ignore how weird it sounded.

She looked at me through narrowed eyes, “Yeah, come inside.”

I took a hesitant step forward and stepped into the house. The inside was almost just like I remembered it. The only things that changed were some furniture pieces and the wallpaper.

The woman came back down from upstairs. “She says you can come upstairs.” She said, motioning for me to follow her.

The upstairs hallway was identical to the way it was when I had left. Small flashes of memory ran through my mind when we walked past my old room and I fought the urge to look inside. The old flatware paintings still decorated the walls.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when we reached the familiar door to my sister's room. The woman knocked, and a voice called out, “Come in.”

I opened the door and walked inside; the woman stayed outside the room. There, sitting in her bed, was Edith. I hardly recognised her but I could still see her familiar features.

We stared at each other for a moment before she spoke, “Victoria?” She asked hesitantly.

I hesitated, “No, I’m her… daughter. I wanted to meet you.” There was no way I could properly explain what happened without sounding mad.

“Oh, so that’s why she left,” she said, “Tell me, how is she these days?”

I swallowed heavily. “She… passed away recently.” I whispered, not believing how easily I lied to her.

Her eyes glossed over, but no tears fell. “You look just like her when she was young, you know.” She said, her voice trembling.

I looked at the floor, unable to bear to see her in this state.

The woman peaked her head into the room and I turned to look at her. “Hazel, come in, please.” Hazel walked into the room and shut the door behind her. Confusion was written all over her face.

Edith motioned for me to say something and I had half a mind to know what she meant. “Hi, I’m Anni, your cousin. Nice to meet you.” I stuck out my gloved hand for her to shake. She looked at it suspiciously before grasping it firmly. “Nice to meet you too.”

“It's very nice to have gotten to see you, Anni.” Edith said.

“I’m happy I got to see you as well.” I walked out of the room and Hazel followed behind me.

“I thought you looked familiar.” Hazel joked, trying to break the ice.

“She showed you pictures?”

“Yeah, she misses-um- missed Aunty Victoria a lot.” She looks sad for a moment.

“So you heard?” I asked.

Her eyebrows pulled together slightly. “Yeah, I know what it’s like to lose a parent.”

‘Dear Lord, I'm a horrible person!’ I screamed in my head.

“You can write to me if you ever need support.” She stated, preventing me from spiralling too much.

“Thank you. I hope I’ll be able to visit again soon.”

Then I was out the front door and down the steps.

I was barely one block away when Lillian walked up next to me.

“So how’d it go?” She asked.

“Alright.”

‘Liar.’ The same voice rang in my head.

#!ravings from the writing desk!#oc #original character #vampire oc #oc story

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tackytigerfic · 2 years

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Snow On Snow

Written for the @drarrymicrofic prompt Ephemera - I had to get one final microfic in this year as it's been one of my main sources of creative impulse in 2021. This one is dedicated to the amazing @gryffindorhearts as it's based on this beautiful art.

Backstory: Harry and Draco were on an undercover mission in Europe which involved pretending to be in a relationship (are they Aurors, are they Unspeakables, who knows? Certainly not this author!) The mission went wrong and they had to break out and flee back to the UK, which is where our action picks up.

On the first night in the safe house, Harry was woken every hour by church bells.

“No magic,” Malfoy said, and Harry wanted to argue but Malfoy looked so sick and pale in the cold high midnight light that Harry stayed quiet after all, and tucked his wand away under the lumpy mattress so he wouldn’t be tempted. After the fifth time he was jolted awake—the peal of the bells so solemn and lonely and deep that Harry felt it in his chest—Harry gave sleep up as a bad job and lay wet-eyed and restless in the dark. It was always bad after a mission, and especially when one went wrong. On the other side of the mattress, curled into himself, Malfoy slept, or pretended to. Harry watched his back, tracked the sharp blade of his spine where moonlight gilded it.

On the second day, Malfoy was already restless, jittery with tension, pacing the floor of the small sitting room with its high ceiling and one enormous window. There wasn’t much furniture, but there was a kettle, some dusty teabags, one clumsy-handled cup. They made endless cups of tea—no milk, because the fridge was empty—just for something to do, taking turns to drink, Harry’s mouth tannin-rich and warm over the place where Malfoy’s lips had been.

“They should have this place under a Fidelius so they could install a Floo,” Malfoy said viciously, after the fourth time he leaned out to check the street below, then slammed the casement window shut against the December cold.

“Muggle’s safer,” Harry said, which was true, though it wasn’t as if Malfoy didn’t already know that. That night, the shower water ran cold over Harry’s bruised ribcage, and when he got to the bedroom, Malfoy was already asleep.

On the third day, they woke up to snow.

Harry had been dreaming, jumbled wretched things filled with spell-light and dark underground places and the flash of Draco's hair, and he woke up gasping to Malfoy’s warm hand on his arm.

"You're okay," Malfoy said, and though his cheeks were pink with bed-warmth, his eyes were bright and alert as though he'd been awake for some time.

They decided to risk a supply run, mostly because Harry couldn't resist the look on Malfoy's face when they leaned out the window together and saw the snow in quiet heaps on the sill. In any case, Harry didn't think there was any chance they'd been tracked, not after the international portkey, and their frantic Apparition, and the final scramble through the Floo of the house they'd broken into in Rowensbridge. And after all that, the long, long night of covering their tracks the Muggle way that ended in blistered feet and the sleeper train to Edinburgh.

The flat had a motley selection of clothes in the wardrobe, and they bundled up in too-big jumpers and hats and scarves they pulled from the pile. Everything smelled stale, but as soon as they got outdoors the air was so fresh it stole away everything else but its own cold newness.

Their footsteps were muffled, and as they walked Harry found himself reaching for Malfoy’s hand, pure instinct driving the brief brush of fingers before they each snatched their hands away, not looking at each other. The corner shop they found was bristling with tinsel, garlanded with lights, boxes of biscuits jostling with bottles of Irish Cream on the shelves. The date on the newspapers on the stand showed them just how much time they had lost in that little underground cell in the Belgian side of Baarle.

“Christmas Eve?” Malfoy said, sounding as lost as Harry felt, and then he picked up a bottle of Bailey’s defiantly, weighed a chocolate orange in his hand. At the till, they filled six flimsy carrier bags with treats, a sweating cold bottle of milk, fresh teabags, some pulpy romance novels Malfoy found in a display case at the back of the shop, and Harry paid using the wallet they had found in the safe in the flat, so stuffed full of Muggle fifty pound notes that the shopkeeper’s eyes widened.

Midnight as the fourth day dawned and they were awoken by more bells, a joyful climb and mischievous fall, the notes dropping out of the air like a summoning.

“It’s Christmas,” Draco said, and while he was still blinking the haze of sleep from his eyes, Harry leaned across the bed and kissed his mouth. It felt as right as it always had in Belgium, back when pretending they were in love was much too easy.

“Harry,” Draco said, a muffled despairing sound right into his mouth, and then kissed him back, and that was so familiar too, the sweet tilt of his lips and the sound he made when Harry got his hands into Draco's hair.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said, though Draco was still kissing him. “It’s been so long.”

“It’s been four days,” Draco said, but his hands tightened at Harry’s hips, fingers brushing the bruised fan of Harry’s ribcage, and Harry felt every second of those four days in the press of Draco's hands.

The next morning they drank coffee with Bailey’s instead of milk, and then they walked to Arthur’s Seat, all the way from New Town through Queen Street Gardens and past Holyrood until they reached the hill.

“You know what happened in Belgium wasn’t your fault?” Draco said, breathless from the climb, shivering inside the shapeless black jumper he had pulled on when they couldn’t find any coats. He still had all his rings on, the ones he had worn to play the person he had been in Belgium. Harry had bought one of them for him on a weekend away, the big sapphire ringed with diamonds, at an exclusive little jeweller’s in Antwerp. Harry knew the shape of that ring under his lips.

“I got careless,” Harry said, which wasn’t precisely true; rather, he had started to care too much about the wrong things, though they had felt like the right things at the time. Still did, he thought, looking at Draco’s tired face above the bundle of his long striped scarf.

“Weasley won’t be much longer extracting us, surely?” Draco said. His eyes were the same colour as the arc of boundless sky above them, clouds swollen with snow. He was looking out at the city, not at Harry.

“When he does—” Harry began, and Draco said over him, at just the same time, “I can’t pretend that I’m pretending any more,” and it was so much what Harry had been feeling that he began to grin, helplessly fond.

“Draco,” he said, “I have wanted you in so many ways, for so very long,” and when he reached his hand out this time, Draco took it.

“Well, okay then,” Draco said, and he was smiling too, fresh snowflakes caught in his lashes, diamond-eyed.

It's also on AO3 here.

#drarry #drarry microfic #drarry squad #rowing and writing #snow on snow #i queue #hpdm

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wito-chan-bla-bla · 2 years

Text

Walk

Briefly and uninformatively about how you go shopping with Kalego to once again try to finish shopping for an unborn child. (Hint: you can't do it, but Opera stroked your big belly).

–Kalego-o! – you pull your husband by the sleeve, trying to persuade him to go home. – I'm tire-ed!..

–If you want, I can summon Cerberion.

–We're in a public place, you can't just use your magic like that!

–Then let me take you in my arms.

–And you won't even say that you'd rather die than show your love in public?

Kalego looked at you with a skeptical look, looking at the hand that he was squeezing with his palm. You answered his look with your own. Nothing has changed.

– I am ready to overcome my dislike for public displays of affection if you feel better, (Y/N). And I'm not leaving here until we buy a crib for our baby!

You groaned, continuing to look at a pile of wooden furniture, from which you will soon begin to feel sick. Your husband wanted everything to be perfect, and therefore approached every smallest detail with incredible care. Therefore, the choice of colors for the children's room took a whole week of constant discussions, the purchase of necessary materials for another month.

Fortunately, the demons, Kalego and Balam, were quick and made repairs in just a week.

Naberius continued to glare at the demon working in the store, waiting for him to find a full description of the product in the magazine. Your husband could not allow the child to have an allergy, to get splinters or hurt himself. Therefore, each crib required a full inspection, which is why you are stuck in the mall for almost half the day.

And where does Kalego get so much free time?.. Although what's the difference? You need to sit down.

A comfortable chair was immediately summoned by a demon, who took away the magazine of the store and began to search for himself. You were patted on the head, and then all your husband's hands started working. With one hand he held a book, with the other he turned the pages and touched the cots.

When the furniture was finally selected, you exhaled with relief and, stroking your stomach, went away. But Kalego noticed that you needed more large maternity dresses, and you slowly went with him further around the store.

On the way, you sat down again and refused to go anywhere. Naberius was just waiting next to you, sometimes massaging your shoulders or barely noticeably touching your stomach with his fingers. He will become much softer at home, give you a massage and will hug his unborn child, muttering words of love and promises of protection. But for now, the demon will limit himself to leaving you for just a second to buy something delicious, otherwise his wife will die of sadness and fatigue on this very bench.

After resting, you make an effort on yourself and get up, accepting the help of Kalego. The demon wraps his tail around your waist and leads you towards clothing stores.

But in the end he stops to look at children's toys. Your dear husband is doomed. You put your head on his shoulder and purr, sighing. Your tail intertwines with the demon's tail when you leave a small kiss on Naberius' cheek while no one is looking.

Looking at the toys, you can't help but wonder what kind of family magic your child will get. Kalego has a higher rank than you, which means that a child with a probability of about seventy-five percent will receive the magic of the Naberius clan. But there was also a small probability of your magic, which promised the little demon the opportunity to choose his own path, and not be a "watchdog" like his father.

But in any case, little Naberius will get dog and bird toys. The two best friends have already agreed on gifts in honor of the birth of the little demon. It's not even up for discussion.

The husband and wife already want to go further, as they hear the voice of the one whom Kalego wanted to never see again in his life.

Naberius will never put you under attack. Even if you were stronger than him, he would still choose to protect you. However, now, feeling this aura from his senpai, the demon made the only exception in his life and covered himself from the attack by his pregnant wife.

Of course, you didn't mind opening your arms and letting Opera hug you.

–Ka-le-go-kun, – the demon's eyes are fixed on your husband, who takes a step back so that his senpai's hands do not get to him. – Why didn't you say that your wife is pregnant? (Y/N)-chan, long time no see.

–Yes, hello, Opera-senpai. I didn't think that you stayed to serve the principal after graduating from school, – you hugged the demon, who began to move his ears funny, listening to the beating of a small heart somewhere far away.

–And I thought I raised you to be an honest demon, Kalego-kun! – Sullivan said, putting his hands on his hips. – I was so hoping that you would inform your dear director that (Y/N)-chan is expecting a baby, but in the end I stumbled upon betrayal! Oh, I'll have to put aside my paperwork to go shopping and buy toys for little Naberius.

–You already don't have time to do your job on time! Kalego growled, refusing, however, to come any closer to the demons.

Opera twitched her ears and tail a few more times and asked her to touch her stomach. You nodded, and the demon sat down, put her cheek on your dress. The ears twitched once again, and then the director's servant began to listen to what was happening inside your stomach.

Opera asked the baby some questions, stroking your stomach and patiently waiting for an answer. Sometimes the child kicked, and on the face of the demon appeared this rapturously feline face, which happened at times when they managed to cause trouble to your husband.

Unfortunately, Opega didn't have all the time in the world to continue hugging your belly. (Unlike your husband. Kalego refused to go to bed until he had enough to chat with the child inside of you, necessarily grumbling a couple of times about the fact that his students are idiots).

Therefore, when the demon rose, there was the saddest expression on their face. You promised to visit the Sullivan house sometime, to which your husband made negative signs with his hands, but no one noticed him because you were standing with your back to him. The black tail of your senpai twitched, Opera smiled happily, hugging you for the last time and purring something in your ear. But before finally leaving, the demon asked:

–Can I be godfather to your child?

–This place is already occupied by Shichiro! – before you could say anything, Kalego shouted.

Opera blinked a couple of times and then smiled.

– Then I will be happy to become a godmother.

–(Y/N), don't try to agree!..

–I will definitely think about it, Opera-senpai! And by the way, come over for dinner on Wednesday. I'll cook your favorite baked fish.

Your husband started writing a will in the background, but Sullivan took the paper and destroyed it, patting the teacher on the shoulder and saying that he would also be happy to join the meal.

You left the mall with a satisfied face and a victorious smile. Your husband hugged you tiredly and looked sad. And what? You had to take revenge on him for making you wander around the store for so long just to choose a crib for the baby.

(But don't worry. Kalego's mood will immediately rise when he lies in bed with you, gently stroking his stomach and feeling kicks for every dissatisfaction he says about his senpai).

#kalego x reader #fem!reader #Mairimashita! Iruma-kun #x reader

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 3 years

Note

I'm sorry but i'm addicted to our boy Spamton- I have a little unique request here. So this takes place where Spamton just moves in the Queen's mansion, he meets the reader and immediately falls for their kind words and gestures. Weeks pass, and he goes to see them, but catches them talking and hanging out with Swatch.. He gets really jealous to the point of changing his style to match Swatch's

"Oh [y/n]! Have You Met Our Newest Guest?"

"Uh, I don't believe-"

"He's An Interesting Addison Who Made A Big Name For Himself! Ohohoho!" Queen laughed joyously, pausing to sip her glass of battery acid. "I Wonder How He Got So Rich...No Matter. As My Peon, I Order You Greet Him......Whenever It's Convenient For You."

"Sure thing. I'll go now." With a respectful nod, you set off to the mansion's guest chambers to meet this newcomer. You've lived here for a long time--and somewhat reluctantly since Queen decided to make you one of her peons one day. But life was actually pretty good.

It wasn't like you had anything better to do, so if she needed someone to help her with plans that..didn't seem all-that urgent, you'll offer your assistance. She let you stay in the mansion for free and never made you do anything if you weren't feeling up to it.

For a tyrannical ruler she was rather kind.

Yet you didn't wanna take advantage of her hospitality, so you'd just listen to whatever she says. And if she wants you to meet this celebrity as part of her endless lists of requests, then you'll happily oblige. But you were eager too since you've seen his face on TV a lot. It felt like an honor.

After wandering the corridors of deactivated puzzles, Mona Lisa-esque portraits, and meticulously-placed pottery, you finally arrived at the guest rooms. You hummed a small tune as you passed by each one, stopping when you noticed one door was open.

Peeking inside, you saw the Addison still setting up things. A phone was tucked between his shoulder and ear as he moved a box whilst rambling to whoever was on the other end of the line.

"Yea! I promise I won't let you down, okay? Soon I'll be bigger than ever before! I know I'm already a big shot but....haha, yeah, I shouldn't get carried away. Okay. Right..we'll discuss more of this tomorrow. Thanks!"

After hanging up the phone and returning it to the receiver, he finally noticed you and smiled. "Hey, hey! Haven't seen your face around here yet. But surely you know mine, right?"

"Yeah." You smiled, not wanting to shy away from talking with him. "Spamton, right?"

"Everybody's favorite number-one rated salesman!!" He laughed. "It's good you know me..'cuz soon ALL of Cyber World will know my name! It's a pleasure to meet you...?"

"[Y/n]. I'm one of Queen's peons." You shook his hand politely. The energy that radiated from him was so bright. Just as much as his pearly smile was.

Stepping inside, you glanced around at the luxurious furniture. He definitely got the higher-class rooms, with the addition of a large window that showed the neon green meridians that stretched across the night sky. It was certainly a beautiful view to fall asleep to. "Need help unpacking?"

"Oh--sure!!" At first Spamton seemed surprised by your offer, but he nodded. "If you want, be my guest. And while we unpack, I gotta ask you..how's it being Queen's peon?"

............

Weeks passed, and you've gotten to know Spamton more and more. You realized he was actually a sweet down-to-earth guy all around. Although he was on the phone a lot, he'd make time to hang out with you, so you two became fast friends.

He was truly living the best life. Posters of his car advertisements were littered all over the city, and the Swatchlings attended to his every need. Though one thing was hard to admit, even when it seemed like he had it all:

You were his only friend now that everyone else is intimidated by his status--as they would shy away from conversing with him--and the Addisons, well, abandoned him out of jealousy.

Obviously that made him worry about driving you away, especially when he's on the phone nonstop. But...the fact you've been so kind to him in every word and gesture, treating him like a regular person and not some untouchable celebrity, was quite endearing. Most admired him for his products, not his personality.

Your kindness made him fall for you hard and fast, ever since day one. He wasn't sure if this was a good idea; to let it get in the way of his business.

But what the hell? He was a big shot! He can afford to go a bit bigger and take more risks. Living in this mansion with someone who loved him would be the perfect dream.

There was a much bigger dream that his valued caller insisted he focused on, but that can come later.

So this morning, Spamton set out to find you to address these feelings once and for all. Yet he was rather nervous. Addisons were most confident in selling products, not so much...everything else. But he didn't wanna back down. He kept smiling no matter what.

As he checked inside the color café that he usually frequented, he saw you eating at the table. He noticed you weren't alone but with Swatch, talking and...

Laughing with them?

And just like that, his smile faded much like his hope.

Of course, the head butler had their ways to swoon people. He tried not to think of it as anything more than just their personality. It's just their way to entice returning customers.

That's all...right?

Spamton ducked behind one of the displays, listening in on your conversation to determine if he should proceed or not.

"By the way, we've known each other for a while and..I've always wanted to ask you something.."

"Yes? What is your inquiry?"

He held his breath. This is exactly what he feared. Knowing that you've been here longer, it's obvious you'd be closer to that damn bird-

"Your outfit."

Then he exhaled shakily, relieved. 'What are you getting so worked up for, idiot?' He thought in the back of his mind, but he continued eavesdropping.

"Did the Queen make it or give it to you? It's very stylish and really makes you stand out from the other Swatchlings."

"Ah, in fact I decided this look for myself." Swatch chuckled softly, raising a wing to adjust their glasses. "The tailor did marvelous work with my vision: black suit, tinted glasses. Very fashionable, is it not?"

"It is. I like it a lot."

"Why thank you. I see why our Lady Grace admires you. Just for that compliment, I'll give you a discount on any of our products in the gift shop."

"Should be every day if you ask me." You joked, earning another chuckle from them.

Seeing all of this and the way you two spoke like close friends was a jab in Spamton's heart-shaped object. 'So [y/n] likes people who stand out? Well I can stand out, too..' He thought bitterly as he stormed out of the shop without either of you knowing he was there.

Why should he settle with being a blank-slate Addison like the rest of them? He didn't consider himself one anymore.

Today, he told his valued caller, he was gonna be a whole new person.

It would help him get closer to both of his dreams, but there was only one on his mind now.

............

Later that night as you were getting ready for bed, you heard a knock at the door. You huffed in annoyance, assuming Queen needed you for something.

She had a knack for disturbing you at ungodly hours. But knowing better than to ignore her, you went to answer the door anyways-

To some strange black-haired guy in a black suit and white turtleneck sweater.

"Hi, um...can I help you?"

"[Y/n]? It's me."

"....wait....Spamton?"

"Yeah!" The salesman laughed, throwing his arms out and making a pose. "Whatdya think of me now?"

Perplexed, you looked him up and down. He ditched the lime-green pants, instead wearing white trousers. And his hair was slicked back. But what was most peculiar about him were his glasses, tinted with pink and yellow lenses.

Had you not known any better, you would've thought Swatch suddenly shrunk and became robotized.

"Cool but..you kinda look like Swatch a little bit. Was that on purpose?" You mused.

"...haha....yeah uh..funny story. Um.." He dropped the act, losing his trademark grin as he wondered how to explain himself and this sudden transformation. You could tell he wanted to talk inside the room, so you let him in and shut the door.

"I don't recall Queen mentioning any costume contest-"

"It's not a costume." He muttered, uncomfortably rubbing his hands together as he looked at you with sadness. "This is who I am now. The new me."

"..huh? You serious?" When he nodded, you frowned slightly. "I'm confused. You don't look like an Addison anymore-"

"That's the point...! I...I don't wanna be associated with them anymore. I decided to stand out, y'know? If you're gonna be a big shot, ya gotta stand out from the crowd!" He forced a laugh that sounded rather glitchy.

You didn't buy it. It wasn't like him to do this out of the blue.

"Spamton, why imitate Swatch of all people? And why out of the blue like this? I mean..I don't mind if you like their style. But I didn't even recognize you until you spoke."

Try as he might, he couldn't make any better excuses. So seeing that he was cornered made him finally admit his jealousy, overhearing your conversation with Swatch while he was browsing--when he really wasn't, but he didn't wanna come off as creepy.

His voice glitched further due to stress, accidentally blurting out some kind of...flirtatious term as he explained how much you meant to him since day one.

You weren't sure if he meant to say "hot single" on purpose. Though you were flattered that such a famous guy like him...actually had a crush on you, an ordinary Darkner who just fetched the Queen's stick wherever she threw it.

You found it hard to believe he thought of you that way..so you kept your own feelings buried. So to see that it's mutual was a relief, and it made you smile.

Spamton, on the other hand, was stressing the hell out. So much so he didn't even see your smile. He just saw himself being stupid the more he rambled on.

It was such a stupid, stupid reason to get insecure--to the point of changing his entire appearance without warning. All because you were friends with a butler who was doing their job???

How selfish can he get when he already had everything he wanted and more?

When he did acknowledge your small smile, he thought you were holding yourself back from laughing. But you had every right to laugh and call him a joke for thinking this will get your attention.

As he finished talking, he could see your smile fade and huffed. He waited for you to tell him how stupid he looks and to go back to being the plain old Addison you met.

Instead of ridiculing him you...hugged him?

At this point you were sitting on the bed together. Of course yours wasn't as massive as his was, but it was big enough for you two to share.

"Spammy, I'm flattered you like me in that way but...you didn't have to do all of this to get my attention. I promise there's nothing going on between Swatch and I. We're just friends. They're not replacing you or anything."

"I know, it's just.." Taking off the glasses, he set them aside before hugging you tightly, head buried in your chest. "I don't wanna lose the only person in this damn place who makes me feel like myself. Who loves me for me, not my success. And...I-I felt like I had to change something about myself to make sure of that."

"Well..you don't need to change anymore. I love you no matter what you look like."

He blinked, his face turning as red as his cheeks.

You could sense his embarrassment from the way he tensed up in your arms and chuckled, patting his hair softly. "Just..don't feel pressured to change for me..or anybody for that matter, okay? Or at least let me know if you're gonna change things up again."

"You don't think..I look stupid or creepy like this?"

"No. Honestly you look pretty handsome. Black hair suits you well."

Hearing those words made him breathe a small sigh of relief. He nodded and hugged you tighter.

His new looks were staying for good.

#clanask #anonymous #deltarune x reader #deltarune spamton x reader #spamton x reader

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oro-e-diamanti · 3 years

Text

Quiet Music: Scherzo (Chapter Six; Part Two)

In collaboration with @bethanysnow

Butterflies getting caught in throats with no words to help explain. Time standing still with a heart breaking. Determination and a willingness to see it through float away in sleep.

Content | Fluff, slight smut warning, tw injury (nothing major, just a wrist injury)

Pairing | fem!Reader x Damiano

Word Count | 6644

Shoutout to @damianodavide, who was a superb help on this chapter and the real life nurse behind this one ;) 😘

***

Damiano’s head was spinning. As soon as he closed his eyes, Y/n’s face appeared in front of him, eyes hooded, lips plumps from just having kissed him, and an expression that promised a need for more. It left him bothered in a way that he knew would not let him sleep until he took care of it. Trying to pretend it was her feminine hand instead of his own rather undignified touch, he reached into the waistband of his underwear immediately letting out a hiss at the contact.

He was desperate for her, but if he couldn’t have her, his imagination would have to do. Pictures flashed through his mind as he moved his hand. Her on her knees, looking up at him through long lashes. He had already gotten a taste of the way she reacted when he complimented her, watching her eyes go wide as he called her a good girl. Her being good for him. Her on her back, ready to be devoured by him in any way he pleased. Feeling his hands go into her hair pulling her face up to look at him. Her bent over whatever furniture he could find, willing to let him have his way with her. Deeply, madly, irrefutably, he wanted it all. She was truly making him lose his mind. Her body and the way she moved were infatuating. Her laugh when someone did something dumb. The look in her eyes when she teased him back. He could still feel the kiss she left on his lips. He never wanted that feeling to end. Brava ragazza mia.

He came with an embarrassingly loud groan, unable to hold back or keep quiet. For a moment, in the silence, he wondered if anyone had heard. He was well aware that his room was surrounded by those of bandmates and crew, but he couldn’t remember who it was exactly anyway, and it didn’t bother him for long, his hazy mind drifting around once again.

***

“Where is your mind at?” Y/n looked up as Victoria pulled her out of her thoughts unexpectedly. Y/n had stopped in Victoria's room after breakfast, trying to keep tabs on what everyone’s plans were on their day off. She had meant to get some work done as Victoria was busying herself getting ready, but it had ended up with her staring into the distance, laptop almost forgotten on her lap.

“Oh, sorry. I’m here, what were you saying?”

“I asked where your mind is at.” Victoria fell forward laying on the bed. Y/n knew that the blonde was starting to learn to read her like a book and she wasn’t sure if she liked it or not.

“Yeah, um, listen. What would you say to someone that may have absolutely decimated her career, by maybe accidentally kissing her boss while they were all high?” She didn’t dare look at the bassist, bracing herself for whatever negative reaction would potentially come from this.

Victoria sat up in surprise, eyes wide and the hint of a smile playing on her lips. “I’m going to need a lot more information than that.” Without giving in to Y/n’s slight protest, she removed the laptop from the assistant’s legs, closing it shut and putting it away. “Tell me everything.”

“Well, there wasn’t much to it really. We sat on the couch, you know that. And I said something stupid about how his eyes looked like chocolates, or maybe gemstones? I don’t quite remember. Anyway, then he pulled my hair out of the hair-tie. I went to kiss his cheek, but he turned his face. Fuck, it was bad. Not the kiss! He is very good at that! But I shouldn’t have done that. And then he just went ‘it's cool, it happens’. What does that even mean?!” She was talking much too quickly, getting it all out before the rational part of her brain would make her shut up. Make her remember she was talking to someone she’d only just started getting to know a week ago, who she was working for. “Then Thomas crashed and you know how that ended. Now I might be avoiding him. Just a bit.” She looked at Vic with a slight panic in her eyes, unsure if she had said too much.

Victoria, on the other hand, seemed delighted to no end, if a little shocked. “Wait, as if you kissed with all of us there and no one noticed!” She exclaimed, briefly pausing, contemplating, but shaking it off to get back to the conversation. “So… Good kiss, huh? Did you enjoy it then? Wanna do it again?” Her eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Victoria! That is not what I am worried about here! I could lose my job. I- I could never show my face out there again if people found out. And I really enjoy this job, you know!” Her face scrunched a little bit, calming down with a sigh. “...But also, yes, he was a gentleman, and if he wanted to … kiss me again, I probably wouldn’t say no. But I also wouldn’t say yes. I work for you. This is not the time to be thinking about how much I enjoyed kissing Damiano!”

Her eyes went wide as her voice dropped to a whisper, looking down at her hands. “Ah fuck, I said that out loud.”

“Okay, let’s look at it from a rational standpoint then.” Victoria turned slightly more serious at seeing her panic. “There is no way you’ll be losing your job over this. Maybe I wouldn’t advise hopping into bed with the whole band and crew, but we always got a tight-knit relationship with people we work with anyway, you know that. None of us would rat you out to management or anything. Plus, if you liked and Damiano liked it… wouldn’t it be a shame to worry about anything else instead of going for it?”

“I don’t know if he liked it. I was busy trying not to pass out, to be honest. I avoided him this morning by going straight to your room. I actually kind of avoided everyone, I’m scared the words of what happened will just come out to anyone who asks… Kind of like they just did with you.” She let out another deep sigh, switching between looking at her nails, picking at them, and out the window. “If he ...you know ... Then maybe. I honestly don’t even know what I would do with that information. On the off chance that he did like it though. And wanted to go for it then I’d consider it.” She tried to remain as put together as possible and, well aware that she was failing miserably.

“Well, in that case, we have to find out what Damiano wants!” Victoria’s enthusiasm was back with a vengeance. “You should talk to him! Or should I talk to him? Maybe I should lock you in a room like those romcoms and threaten to not let you out again until you kiss.”

“Or you don’t do that because that is entrapment. I think I would be cool with you talking to him. But I still have to do my job. That comes first. Because as far as I am concerned,” Y/n got up and grabbed her laptop again, “it is business as usual. And last night was a fluke. Not to crush your rom-com dreams, love, but if I spoke to him I’d put my foot in my mouth faster than you can play bass.”

The smirk on Vic’s face didn’t promise anything good. “We’ll see about that, we’ll see,” she ominously muttered, before jumping up from the bed. “Now stop trying to pretend you got work to do, we’re going vintage clothes shopping.”

***

The thrift store turned out to be a small hole-in-the-wall kind of place, just off a side street - perfect for shopping in peace without getting much attention at all. Y/n hadn’t been all that keen on keeping the band company for this little adventure, but Victoria had insisted, claiming she needed a female perspective in case the boys were being stupid again. It had only taken a serious case of the puppy dog eyes to win her over, and Victoria found herself making a mental note to remember it.

The store was stuffed full of clothes, a kind of chaos that seemed to have an order that only the owner really understood. But it looked like heaven, and within seconds everyone had vanished into some corner or other, dying to find their newest favourite piece. For a moment, Victoria contemplated who she wanted to follow first, feeling the need to talk to at least two different people but also never wanting to miss out on a chance to go crazy with Thomas. Ended up deciding on Damiano. It seemed the more pressing issue. She hadn’t failed to notice how he would try to pretend that everything was normal, yet continuously evading Y/n’s eyes. She had kept her distance all the same. This wasn’t acceptable. She had to do something, Victoria decided.

She found the singer shuffling through some blouses, although much more half-heartedly than he tended to be when it came to vintage clothes. Looking out from the racks Victoria saw Y/n doing the same. She briefly considered how to go on about this - admit that Y/n had told her what had happened? Pretend she had actually seen the kiss last night? - but figured that Damiano would start talking on his own accord sooner or later. Especially if this was affecting him the way it was Y/n, and she was almost hoping it was.

“Okay, spill, what’s up with you today?”

Damiano shrugged, pulling a shirt out from the rack, and holding it against his body, waiting for Victoria's opinion. She raised a brow and put it back wordlessly.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” he responded rather vaguely.

“Damia, you’ve barely spoken at all today. Normally you can’t shut up. And you know, I’d be thankful for some peace and quiet from you, but you’re actually worrying me. So what’s going on with you?”

Damiano had a panicked look on his face as he scanned over the racks of clothes, his eyes flickering back and forth, obviously noticing Y/n shuffling through some things and slowly getting closer. Taking Vic by surprise, he dragged her into the dressing rooms.

“Okay, that’s…. Weirdly intimate, but go on,” Vic mumbled to herself as he closed the curtain behind them, still nervously looking around the small space.

“Rather talk to you in here, than her hear me out there. I may have fucked up, royally.” He crossed his arms over his chest and Victoria was sure he would be burning a hole into the wall with his vision if he possessed that power. He was avoiding looking at her and she knew it.

“Explain,” she simply demanded, sitting down on the tiny stool in the corner and looking up at Damiano. She wanted to hear it from him, hear what had happened in his version of the story, hear what was bothering him so much.

“So we were at that bar, right? Y/n was sitting next to me. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you were there. Anyway. We were talking. I don’t know if it was the smoking or whatever else, but I looked at her and - I don’t know why I did this but I did. I pulled her hair out of her hair tie.” He leaned on the wall, his head hitting the brick behind him. He groaned but Vic assumed it didn’t have anything to do with the pain. “And… and she was so beautiful. Her hair just all around her. So soft. And at that moment, she was laughing and it sounded heavenly. And I went to look at her again and suddenly my lips were on hers…” His voice softened at the end, losing his train of thought and drifting. She had never quite seen him like this. “Then she was freaking out, and I told her some fucking stupid line like ‘it happens’. I just wanted her to calm down but… Now she must think I’d just...” He groaned, slumping a little and finally looking over at Vic. “Then she ran off to help Thomas.”

“So, what you’re saying then is that you did enjoy it? Potentially wanna do it again?” She felt transported back to the conversation she’d had with Y/n just hours earlier, posing almost the exact same question. She had never been this involved with any of her friends’ relationships to this extent, but something told her that her help was desperately needed in this case.

He raised a brow at her. “Did you not hear the part where after we kissed she then proceeded to freak out? I doubt that she even wants to see my face right now.” A heavy sigh left him and Victoria found herself laying a hand on his arm. “And of course I want to kiss her again, Vic. I close my eyes and she is there. Hell, she wakes me up every morning! I can’t escape. She is everywhere I go! I turn a corner and she is there. She's the one we go to when wanting to eat, she arranges the cars, she helps us with concerts, she’s doing everything all the time. I don’t know how much more I can take!”

***

Y/n stood in the shoe aisle holding a pair of heels in her hand, contemplating for a second, before putting them on. Turning towards Ethan, who was walking towards her now, she realised it had eliminated all height differences between them. Definitely too high, she thought to herself. Holding onto his shoulders, she clumsily took them back off.

“Hey Ethan, find anything good?” The smile on her face felt forced but she was praying he wouldn’t see it.

He proudly holds up a black, studded belt with an intricate design on it, as well as a pink suede jacket. “How about you? I think I saw some nice trousers over there that might suit you. Wanna check it out?”

Y/n scoffed. She didn’t want to let her mood out on Ethan, trying her hardest to stay diplomatic. “Love the idea, but I doubt any of the clothes in here would go over my thigh. They’d fit you guys just great though. The jacket looks good, by the way.” She tried to distract herself from - well, everything - by putting the shoes away, mindlessly letting her fingers wander over the other pairs standing there.

Ethan looked at her in contemplation for a moment, but seemed to decide against following his train of thought. “At least try on some more shoes. Here, what about these?” He excitedly grabbed a pair of high-heeled boots, very much in the style she could see any of them wearing on stage - much less the one she usually went for when working.

A little intimidated, she took the shoes, if only to humour him. Ethan was nothing but a sweetheart, this was the least she could do. She put them on only with some slight struggle. She once again reached his height, almost amused by the feeling of seeing eye-to-eye with him, but the shoes felt strange. Very far removed from the usual flats, sneakers, boots, or whatever other pair that would allow her to keep running around all day without regretting it in the evening.

“Do I look silly?”

“You look gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous.” His voice had the most earnest tone to it and it was only supported by the way he studied her, looking her up and down. “Maybe walk a few steps to see if you can get used to it.”

She laughed as she proceeded to strut and partially dance some steps down the aisle to the song playing in the store. “I haven’t worn heels in so long, still got it though!”.” Her small smile grew into a grin, rather proud of herself for still being able to keep up. Going to the mirror near Ethan she looked at the shoes, then at herself in the shoes, then back at Ethan. Still, the insecurity took over for a moment. Her voice seemed small when she asked, “You think so?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you like that,” he replied, putting a hand over his heart for emphasis. “Want to go and see what the others think? I saw Thomas over there, and Vic and Dami disappeared into that corner a while ago.”

“Right, good idea.” She walked over to the dressing room looking for Damiano and Victoria, figuring they had gone to try on some things. Well, she was mainly looking for Victoria, still uncomfortable at the thought of facing the singer. She was in the middle of calling out for them when Damiano’s voice seeped through the curtain instead. She didn’t mean to listen, only to wait for him to stop so she could interrupt, but the second she realised what he was saying she wished she had never come over.

“Hell, she wakes me up every morning! I can’t escape. She is everywhere I go! I turn a corner and she is there. She's the one we go to when wanting to eat, she arranges the cars, she helps us with concerts, she’s doing everything all the time. I don’t know how much more I can take!”

She stepped back. Frozen in place. Her heart was beating out of her chest, hurting, aching, breaking just that little bit. Processing what he had said seemed to happen not at all and then suddenly all at once. She couldn’t breathe. She needed air. Anything but this suffocation. She needed to leave.

“I need some air.”

The words came out of her mouth much louder than anticipated, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care that people were looking at her now. She didn’t care that was still wearing a pair of shoes that she had definitely not paid for yet. She just needed out, out, out, and away from all this. From him.

She didn’t realise she was walking on cobblestone until she wasn’t anymore, her ankle giving way, arms desperately trying to keep her from falling as she stumbled.

***

Damiano and Victoria stopped in their tracks as they heard someone approach from outside of the dressing room. Both heads turned towards the sound, when Y/n’s voice came through, telling maybe no one in particular that she needed some air. Her voice sounded strange. Damiano was convinced he had never heard that particular tone in it. As he threw back the curtain, he saw her stumble outside, clearly hectic, and he could feel a surge of panic run through him. Something wasn't right here. He forgot all about the conversation he was having, all about Victoria, and made his way outside. Not quite running, but the worry had him out of the door quickly. His heart sank when he saw her, lying on the floor just outside of the shop, holding her arm awkwardly, some scratches already beginning to bleed a little. As she looked up at him, he could see tears pricking at her eyes.

"Fuck, are you okay? What happened? I just saw-" The look on her face - or rather, the way she turned away from him - shut him up instantly. This wasn't the time to bombard her with questions. It didn't matter anyway. Instead of bothering her further, he quickly knelt down beside her, helping her sit up in return. He was acutely aware of the way she pulled away the second he touched her skin. Like she had been burned. ´

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Sorry to ruin the shopping trip, you can go back in if you want to," she mumbled, trying to wipe some tears away but instead spreading some dirt and drying blood onto her cheek instead. Damiano wanted to touch her, clean her up, dry her tears, but the way she had pulled away a minute ago made him not want to try. The last thing he wanted to do was overwhelm her more. He watched as she pulled out her wallet, handing it to him. "Go pay for the shoes please. And stop looking at me like that, I said I’m fine."

Yet, as soon as she moved, she winced in pain, taking a deep breath before getting herself up to a standing position. He found himself holding her arm in support, but she only accepted it for as long as necessary. As he let go, she let out a small cry of pain, obviously holding her hurt wrist the wrong way.

“You’re obviously not fine,” Damiano sighed. He desperately wanted to reach out to her, but she was already in tears, turning away, and it simply didn’t seem like a sensible option. He looked around at the others as they gathered around Y/n. Only Thomas was missing, probably still blissfully unaware inside the shop and browsing for clothes. He tossed the wallet to Ethan. “Would you mind paying for her shoes real quick?” Ethan nodded, walking back into the store. Y/n was still standing between them, holding her arm close to her body in a protective gesture. Almost a similar expression to the one she had had on her face on the plane all those days ago. He wondered if something was scaring her the way the turbulence did back then.

“I am and will be fine, Damiano.” Her voice was stern. “I cry at a lot of things, this is no different. I wrap it up, put ice on it for a while and I’m golden.”

He watched as Victoria put a tentative hand on Y/n’s shoulder. She didn’t pull away from her touch, he noticed. “Y/n, that really doesn’t look like nothing. Look, it’s starting to swell up already.”

"What do you want me to do then?" She almost sounded resigned now as she looked back and forth between Damiano and Victoria. "We are in Amsterdam. I don't exactly have a GP on speed dial here. Now, where is Ethan with my wallet?"

She started walking towards the door of the shop, but Damiano defiantly held out his arm to stop her. "We are taking you to A&E."

Her face seemed to drain of all colour, and this time it was not because of the pain. "You are not taking me to a hospital."

Damiano looked at her, determination in his eyes, trying to make her understand that this was non-negotiable. Just for now, he would forget about the way she was brushing him off, the way she was evading his touch, the way she did not even want to look at him. Because right now she needed him and he would be there for her, if she wanted him to be or not.

"Yes, I am. Final decision. You would do the same for us if we got hurt. But we're responsible for you too, you're part of our crew, and right now, being responsible means getting this checked out. Besides, you're not getting your wallet back until you agree."

As soon as Ethan stepped outside again, this time with a slightly confused-looking Thomas in tow, Damiano snatched the wallet from his hands only to put it in his own jeans pocket. She was mad, obviously turning whatever was bothering her into anger, but Damiano was having none of it and he hoped the look in his eyes told her so.

"Fine! Take me to the hospital. But know that I am not happy about this."

"I don't need you to be. I just need you to come with me."

***

A quick refresher of her rudimentary Dutch verified that she was indeed looking for "spoedeisende hulp", another search on the internet confirmed that there was a hospital nearby, and before she knew it, she had been whisked into a taxi with Damiano. The others had decided to make their way back to the hotel, no point in clogging up the waiting room. Damiano promised to call with any news immediately.

Y/n wouldn't tell him, certainly not right then and there but she was happy that Damiano seemed to take the lead for once. She wouldn't have had any problems had any of the others needed medical help - but having people fuss about her? Making her the center of attention in a way she did not intend to be and having to accept help from others?... It was a completely different story. Still she appreciated the way he handled the situation, making sure she got registered with the administration straight away, listening attentively for further instructions, and leading her into the waiting area. She was also glad that it seemed to be quiet, not only because it would result in less of a wait, but also because the bustling would have made her all the more nervous.

This was out of her comfort zone. She had managed to avoid hospitals for the majority of her life, and yet here she was, because she panicked and couldn't handle her shoes. Looking down at them, she wanted to curse them. Curse the fact that they made her walk over to Damiano and Victoria in the first place, curse the fact that she had heard Damiano speak about her that way, curse the fact that they carried her out the door but not much further. She didn't even know where her actual shoes were. Hopefully, Ethan had kept his head and collected them on the way out after paying.

A few seats down, someone coughed loudly, reminding her exactly of where she was. It wasn't the worst hospital she had ever been in, that much was true, but she would rather not see one from the inside at all. She was dying for some comfort, some soothing words, a gentle touch, but as soon as Damiano made any attempt at reaching out to her she pulled back. His words were still heavily playing on her mind, the swelling of her wrist and the heat that seemed to seep from it a painful reminder. There was no way she was going to let herself fall, be reassured and consoled by him when he was so obviously sick of her presence. She wouldn't do that to either of them. Victoria with all her good intentions be damned. At least right now.

“Why are they not calling you in, it doesn’t even look like they’re doing anything,” Damiano grumbled next to her, eyes on the nurse’s station where a few of them were sitting. A few eyes were on them, something that looked like an excited discussion.

“Stop it, I’m sure they’re busy at work. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean they aren’t”, she bit back, slightly harsher than intended. He shot her a look, eyebrows raised, but she turned away, not looking to have a deeper conversation.

It left Damiano sitting in silence. Leaving both of them in the same situation, again. Y/n and him alone. Well, alone enough. Alone enough to not have anyone distract her from the uncomfortable feeling that settled over them. No Thomas being silly, no Victoria making a dumb comment, no calming presence of Ethan. Through this whole process, Y/n had basically crawled back into herself. She wished she could disappear.

She didn't know how much time had passed when they were finally called, too preoccupied with her own thoughts and the pain in her wrist. The nurse that beckoned them over had the warmest smile on her face, albeit tired eyes and it surprised Y/n how much comfort she found in the soft expression of the woman. White slacks, rolled up sleeves, pockets so full it looked like they were bursting at the seams, dark hair up in a bun. She found herself looking over at Damiano, wondering if he was aware of how gorgeous this woman was, how kind and calming her aura was, but his eyes were trained solely on her. She didn't allow herself to get lost in his gaze, quickly dropping hers and following the nurse into an examination room.

“Hi, I’m Ana, I’m going to be your nurse for today. You only speak English, am I correct?” She asked, gesturing for both of them to sit down, Y/n on the examination table and Damiano on a chair next to it. There was a slight twinge of an accent in her speech, but it was clear that she was fluent, which was a relief. Y/n didn’t even want to think about trying to get this done with the few words she knew in Dutch. She nodded, gratefully. “We’re going to go over what happened, and then I’ll do a physical examination, and the doctor will see you after as well.”

Y/n watched as the nurse fumbled with the computer, seemingly already typing things before Y/n had even said anything. “So, what exactly happened?”

“I, uh, tried on some heels and tripped on the cobblestone outside,” Y/n explained, taking a moment to glare at the offending shoes still on her feet. “Fell forwards, tried to soften the blow with my hands and now my wrist looks like this.” She held up the offending arm, gathering that the sight would speak for itself. The dried blood of the little scrapes on the palms of her hand did its best to make it look more dramatic than it felt.

“Oh, yeah that looks quite painful,” the nurse winced. “I see you’ve scraped your knee as well.”

Y/n looked down, slightly confused, only to realise her jeans had torn, revealing a beat-up knee underneath. Crap, she hadn’t even noticed, too occupied with… well, everything else. This felt like it was getting worse by the second, she never wanted to get back to a hotel room this badly. She felt like crying, but letting Damiano see her composure waver was the last thing she would allow.

“It’s nothing,” she sighed, moving her legs as if it gave her a chance of hiding her bruises.

“It’s not nothing, Y/n,” Damiano sighed next to her, before turning towards the nurse. “I think it’s more serious than she’s letting on.” In the same determined tone from before.

The nurse looked back and forth between the two of them. “It’s probably the shock of it.”

Oh yeah, the shock. Mainly that of finding out that Damiano didn’t want her around, apparently.

The nurse asked a few more questions, time of the accident, previous medical history, medication she was taking regularly, but they barely reached her. She found herself answering curtly, with Damiano filling in where he could. She wouldn’t tell him she was thankful for it. Even though the idea of him taking care of her made her emotional.

“Right, let’s get that wrist looked at then.” Y/n had feared it would be painful but as soon as the nurse started handling her? She knew it was her job to feel the joints, test her range of motion, move her arm. But unwelcome tears emerged in the corners of her eyes. She didn’t have the energy to push Damiano’s hand away, as she almost reveled in the comforting touch on her back. The small talk didn’t even begin to make for a distraction. Yet, something was nagging at the back of Y/n’s head as she watched the nurse interact with Damiano. There was a familiarity in her eyes… Did she know who he was? Surely not.

“This will need an X-Ray to make sure it’s not broken,” the nurse concluded, finally letting go of her wrist. Damiano whispered a quiet ‘You okay?’ over to her, but she couldn’t do anything but nod. “I will bandage the scrapes a bit while we wait for a doctor. So, what brings you to Amsterdam today?”

“Work,” Y/n answered, trying to keep some degree of privacy, but Damiano didn’t seem to mind butting in immediately.

“I’m in a band, we’re on tour. She’s our assistant and overall angel.” She wanted to shoot him a look, both at the unnecessary honesty and the over-the-top way he was describing her, but a touch to her banged-up knee distracted her.

A doctor popped into the room quickly verified everything the nurse had told him And before she knew it she was being led down a hallway to get an X-Ray. Damiano stayed behind in the room.

“Cute couple, the two of you,” the nurse piped up next to her.

“Um, yeah, no. Not a couple. Just a working relationship.”

“You sure about that?”

Y/n almost wanted to stop dead in her tracks, ask the nurse what on earth had given her that idea, but she also knew she was here to get examined and the last thing she wanted to do was annoy the person responsible.

“Very. He doesn’t like me like that, he’s made that crystal clear.”

“Well, he certainly doesn’t look like you in a way that suggests he doesn’t like you. If anything, I would have guessed he was head-over-heels for you.”

Y/n was stumped for a reply. Was this woman making fun of her? She didn’t look like someone who would. So why would she say these things? With a deep sigh and a heavy heart, Y/n decided she would have to talk to Damiano at some point. Have him either stand by his statement and back off, or explain what the hell he was doing. Because she was starting to lack comprehension about any of it.

She was glad the rest of the appointment seemed to fly by in a hurry, or maybe Y/n’s brain had simply gone into power-saving mode, not really taking it what as happening around her anymore. Her exhaustion was tangible. The X-Ray was done quickly enough, someone sent her back to the examination room, and before she knew it, the doctor had announced that it was, in fact, not broken. A quick wrap around her wrist, some instructions on how to care for it (that Damiano seemed to listen to more closely than she did), and she was almost out the door. She was sure she would have fallen asleep on the examination table. It was only the nurse quickly saying her goodbye and adding another comment that almost threw her off balance again.

“Bye, guys. And by the way, nice show yesterday. I promise I wasn’t the one who threw the bra.”

***

It was dark out by the time Y/n and Damiano made it back to the hotel. He had made sure to text the others, telling them to go for dinner without them, they’d be fine, and he figured she would need some rest. The hotel restaurant was quiet enough and he motioned towards it, but Y/n shook her head.

“I’ve got a few snacks in my room, but honestly, I’m not hungry at all. I just want to go to bed.”

Yet, tired as she was, it only took one pointed look for her to shut him up, so he simply nodded and led her towards the elevators.

“At least let me bring you to your room and see if you need any more help. And I can give you your wallet back.”

He could tell in the way she stiffened next to him, the way she barely reacted to his words, that she wasn’t keen on the idea, but he wouldn’t let her get away with it. He was desperate to find out what was bothering her and why she was so distant, but he couldn’t figure it out. Was the kiss still playing on her mind? Was she uncomfortable with him? It was the last thing he wanted. He needed to show her he was willing to be there for her.

Closing the door of her room behind him, a shout rang through the room.

“These fucking things, I hate them!” She was loud and angry while trying to get her shoes off, but her voice was wavering and if he watched her in just the right light he was convinced he was seeing the beginning of tears forming in her eyes.

“Shh, shh, it’s fine,” he tried to soothe, unsure if he was going about it the wrong way, but quickly bending in front of where she was sitting on the bed. She kicked her heels once more in frustration, obviously unable to get them off with her wrist still compromised.

“Don’t shush me when it’s all your fault,” she whispered and he almost stopped dead in his tracks, but he figured she hadn’t meant for him to hear. He stayed quiet, against everything in his heart telling him to find out what she was talking about. Instead, he focused on removing her shoes, gentle touches against her bare skin. Looking up at her, he realised that she was studying him, watching his every move, and he concentrated even harder on being the perfect gentleman. Yet, when he pulled the second shoe off her, he couldn’t help letting his hand rest on her calf a little longer than necessary.

“Come on, let’s get you into some pyjamas,” he decided, getting up and putting some distance between them. Too afraid of getting ahead of himself, of letting his hands wander more than appropriate places, of saying something he shouldn’t. He threw what he gathered to be her sleepwear in her general directions. “If you need any help changing because of your wrist, let me know.”

He hoped his smile was as sincere as he meant it. Either way, she didn’t give him much of a reaction, grabbing the clothes and disappearing into the bathroom. A few sharp hisses reached him through the door, but he knew better than to offer his help again.

He wasn’t sure what the acceptable place for him to sit was, but since the room didn’t offer anything but a worn-out armchair and the bed, he decided that choosing the far side of the mattress wasn’t too bad. He didn’t even realise she had left the en-suite until her voice reached him.

“We really need to talk, Damiano.” She sounded resigned and tired and he wished he could wrap her in his arms and tell her everything was alright, but it didn’t seem like the right time. As soon as she reached the side of the bed opposite him, she all but collapsed on it. She sleepily grabbed one of the many unnecessary hotel pillows they placed on the bed and nuzzled her face into it.

“There will be more than enough time for that tomorrow,” he replied, grabbing the blanket and making sure she was fully covered by it. “It’s been a long day, try to get some rest.”

She didn’t even manage to argue anymore, eyes already fluttering closed, breathing slowly becoming more steady. She was gorgeous like this. A soft calm overtaking the scene. No wall up that kept everyone else from her inner thoughts. No front that she put up in desperate attempts to remain professional. Just a softness etched into her features that highlighted her natural divine beauty.

He wanted to take her worries away. He hoped that whenever they did get to talk tomorrow, it would yield some clarity. The last thing he wanted was for her to ever feel this way. He had grown so attached to her, so obsessed with the idea of having her around, that he already feared the end of the tour. If she would give him any option to stay in her life, he would take it, whatever way it was.

Damiano barely noticed the way he was slipping down on the mattress, his fingers softly patting her head, eyelids getting heavy. The last thing on his mind was Y/n, sleeping soundly next to him and wishing for nothing but to make her happy.

***

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