#the amount of people in the whole AF issue who think 'you need to clearly define what you mean by 'illegal content'

[plasticnightmaredoll]

So, the "Justice League" finally got its own movie, eh? Oh, that thing from 2017 was just trash. It's gone. We don't need to look at it anymore.

But in all seriousness, it's great people called out for the Zack Snyder cut of the movie and actually got it! And, yes, it is a vast improvement over the Joss Whedon cut.

Now, my feelings about the DCEU have been pretty divided:

I actually did enjoy "Man of Steel" and found Superman to be relatable and likable for once (I'm not a Superman fan and don't come for me)

"Wonder Woman" was very entertaining and easily the best entry for me in the movie series so far.

"Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice" was a hot mess. Lots of good ideas but it was executed poorly. It felt kind of cheesy at times, especially that whole "Save Martha" thing. Jesse Eisenburg is not a convincing Lex Luthor. Ben Affleck is not a good actor and is a terrible Batman/Bruce Wayne. He's not as bad as George Clooney, but he's not much better either.

"Wonder Woman 1984" was a massive glow-down. Poor quality writing, Maxwell Lord was a weak villain, Cheetah was laughable, and the ending was so goddamn corny! Not to mention, it took ages for anything interesting to happen, and what was the deal with Steve Trevor possessing another dude's body? I mean...what?

Haven't seen "Suicide Squad" in its entirety but I do know and have seen enough to decide that it's a huge misstep. Haven't seen "Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)" either but I have some interest in it so perhaps someday.

Haven't watched "Aquaman" but probably will eventually but I'm just not very motivated to see it. I like Jason Mamoa as Aquaman/Arthur Curry, but...I don't know. The trailers didn't really grab my attention.

The 2017 Joss Whedon version of "Justice League" was terrible -- worse than "Batman v Superman," worse than "Wonder Woman 1984." I thought the movie moved too quickly, lacked proper character development, and had some bad CGI (I mean, Mustache Gate, am I right?)

Onto the Synder Cut for "Justice League!" Spoilers ahead, of course:

These are really a collection of thoughts, opinions, and observations I had while watching the movie. I have only seen the 2017 film once and honestly don't want to watch it ever again, not even to "refresh my memory" of some details.

Steppenwolf

Steppenwolf was such a pitiful villain in the Whedon Cut. The CGI for him was terrible, and he looked like some weird dude in armor. His personality and motives were paper thin as well. He was a throw-away, token villain, and the only things memorable about him was his name and voice.

In the Snyder Cut, not only was Steppenwolf's CGI much more refined, his character design was imposing. His armor seemed to be alive, too, always shifting slightly, this way and that, which was an impressive sight. His motives, while nothing too deep or extraordinary, gave him a little more depth: he pissed off Darkseid and had to make up for it, and was clearly afraid of what could happen to him if he failed.

The name and voice obviously were still memorable but combined with the other improvements to his character, they were icing on the cake.

That being said, I don't think Steppenwolf is as intriguing or even remotely sympathetic as Loki and Thanos in the MCU.

Darkseid

Was Darkseid even mentioned in the Whedon cut? I can't remember and I don't want to watch that shitty movie again just to find out. However, I don't recall Darkseid making an appearance or even being spoken of in the 2017 version. Now, I haven't read DC (or Marvel) comics, so I don't know a lot about the guy, but he is supposedly one of the more iconic villains.

His motives are pretty simple, though: command and conquer. There isn't a lot of depth so far in the movies but he does pose a much larger threat than Steppenwolf did. You could tell Steppenwolf was intimidated by Darkseid, who was about as cold and menacing as they come. He's a complete villain in that regard, having no emotions and only seeking power for himself.

He looked great in the Snyder Cut. He was actually really fucking scary-looking. He made the beefcake Steppenwolf look like a puppy.

I'm glad that Darkseid made an appearance, even if he didn't fight the Justice League. It alludes to a much broader story, as well as foreshadows an epic boss fight down the line -- assuming the Snyder Cut is popular enough to convince the studios to make a direct sequel and not just abandon things in favor of some sort of soft reboot.

Superman/Clark Kent/Henry Cavill/Mustache Gate

Let's get this out of the way: Henry Cavill is hot af.

Ok, now that we got that out of the way, hooray for Snyder for getting rid of those nasty reshoot scenes involving Henry's CGI'd mouth! Can't say I missed them, you know? I mean, in the 2017 Whedon Cut, you could always spot reshoot scenes based on whether or not Henry's mouth looked normal and totally strange.

I think the 2017 movie had Superman grab Batman by the neck and ask, "Tell me: Do you bleed?" I'm relieved that was removed from the Synder Cut because it added too much of an evil tone to Superman, and we could clearly tell he was most upset with Batman upon being revived.

One massive problem with the 2017 movie was that it made every member of the Justice League look like bumbling idiots without Superman's help. It was downright embarrassing and unrealistic. I mean, you're telling me that Wonder Woman, a goddess, can't take on Steppenwolf? Or Victor Stone, a cyborg with incredible abilities? Making Superman key to winning isn't the problem, it's how it was done in the 2017 movie. He's already OP but that shouldn't mean his comrades have to be useless in comparison.

Superman was allowed to be OP in the Snyder Cut without making his team look incompetent. Like in the Avengers movies, everyone in the Justice League had a purpose and all of them worked together to defeat Steppenwolf. Superman obviously was key to winning, but, again, it wasn't like he was the only capable one during the battle.

I did like the black suit. It's kind of ominous but also very cool at the same time. But is it also foreshadowing something? I don't know...I haven't read the comics so I really don't have any idea lol.

Batman/Bruce Wayne/Batfleck

One glaring issue I still have is Ben Affleck is a mediocre actor at best and he's a terrible Bruce Wayne/Batman. I mean, they couldn't have found anyone else? Someone with, like, good acting abilities?

Martian Manhunter

This whole time -- THIS WHOLE GOTDAMM TIME -- Martian Manhunter was hiding in plain sight! General Swanwick, who I remember from "Man of Steel," IS Martian Manhunter. I didn't see that coming. I mean, I knew Martian Manhunter would appear in the Snyder Cut but I didn't know he'd have an alternate identity, let alone that of an existing character in the DCEU.

As much as I did like seeing him, I am glad he didn't play a big part because the movie already has plenty of characters as is, and introducing yet another one could have slowed things down and taken away from developing the plot.

The Runtime/Pacing

I mentioned already that the Whedon Cut felt rushed and needed much more time to develop its characters and plot. While I had doubts about whether or not making "Justice League" four hours long would be a good idea, it turns out that it was just what the story needed.

Character development was actually existent, and Cyborg/Victor Stone received a detailed backstory, and Flash/Barry Allen got some extra tidbits added to his character's story/background as well.

I actually thought Victor was a fascinating (if a bit tragic) character in the Whedon cut and was disappointed that he just sort of, like, popped up and fought alongside the other Justice League members with the tiniest amount of depth.

Despite an epic 4-hour runtime, it didn't feel slow, nor did it feel like any scenes were "filler." Every scene had a purpose and kept the story moving at a steady, comprehensible pace. It felt more like a 2.5-3 hour movie, honestly, which is a feat since pacing can often be one of a film's biggest issues ("Avengers: Endgame" also accomplished this feat with its 3-hour runtime feeling more like 2-2.5 hours but with no negative side effects of that). Breaking the movie into chapters, including an epilogue was a tad strange because it's not a very common thing, but I think it helped break up the epic 4 hours into separate, manageable but still cohesive pieces. Also, they helped easily transition from one portion to the next smoothly without any awkward cuts.

The Flash/Barry Allen/Ezra Miller

Barry still amused me in the Whedon Cut. He brought some good-natured humor and charm to the movie, preventing it from being too brooding and intense.

I think Ezra is a talented actor and does well in the Barry Allen role but he is, unfortunately, a problematic person. I mean, if he gets recast, he gets recast but hopefully, they pick someone else who has some acting abilities worth noting (i.e. Not a Ben Affleck type of actor)

The Final Battle

It was a huge improvement over the 2017 cut, as everyone was key to winning the final battle, not just Superman. It is meant to be a team of costumed heroes defeating a villain, not just one OP member of the team outdoing everyone else.

That being said, I felt that the final battle was a little bit anti-climatic. I don't know what it was but I just thought that it would be longer? I expected more to happen? More fighting? Not sure how to describe it, but I do feel like it wasn't as impressive as it could have been.

The Epilogue

A dystopian future involving an evil Superman and Joker somehow working WITH Batman was just...crazy. I mean, evil Superman, I can believe, but Joker and Batman working together (even reluctantly) is quite a sight.

Based on what I've been reading, this nightmare Bruce has could be setting up not one but two sequels for "Justice League." I would like to see how things will play out even if things get kind of dark. I'm getting the impression that Darkseid will kill Lois Lane, thus breaking Superman emotionally and making him compliant. That is unless Bruce intervenes in this timeline and prevents that from happening...but at the expense of his own life. Oh dear...

I definitely enjoyed the Zack Snyder version of "Justice League," and would definitely watch it again and again and again. I already have forgotten the majority of the Whedon Cut, and after seeing Synder's version, I think the 2017 movie will be rendered null and void. I hope it is just expelled from the DCEU canon entirely. That, and we get the "Justice League" sequels, preferably from Zack Snyder (Say what you want but I think he is a pretty good director for the most part and seems to really care about this work).

I honestly want to see a fight between the Justice League and Darkseid because I think that's what we're trying to build up to, and seeing as how Darkseid is one of the legendary villains in the DC comics, I would be extremely disappointed if this doesn't come to pass.

Also, as much as I like Batman/Bruce Wayne, seeing him sacrifice himself to save the team, including Lois and thus Superman's sanity, would be something else. It would bring everyone even closer together, for one, and I think that the negativity shared between Batman and Superman in the past would be completely forgiven. I'm not saying there isn't forgiveness now, but dying to save Superman's wife would change everything....if that makes sense? Does it make sense? I'm terrible at explaining my thoughts sometimes.

#justice league #zack snyder #dceu #snyder cut #zack snyder's justice league #superman #wonder woman #the flash #cyborg #martian manhunter #darkseid #steppenwolf #batman #barry allen #bruce wayne #diana prince #victor stone #aquaman #arthur curry

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

You Can Run... (S2, E11)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:03 - Baby!Malcolm and baby!Ainsley playing together is so cute. <3 

0:05 - Malcolm is playing with Batman (the hero) and Ainsley is playing with the Joker (the villain). But Ainsley wants to play with Batman. Coincidence? Foreshadowing? I’m torn. 

0:20 - ....I can’t tell if this is regular “kid fake crying to get sibling in trouble”, “bad fake crying because kid actors are still just kids who are learning”,  or “Ainsley is a psychopath and she’s never been able to cry properly fake crying”.

0:50 - “I’d much rather stay at home with my favourite guy.” UgH. Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep. No wonder Malcolm has so many Daddy issues. This broke my heart. Malcolm clearly idolized Martin. Martin was his hero. :( 

1:35 - “Where are you? Talk to me.” This hurts because it makes sense. Malcolm’s one constant in life was his father’s voice. For better or for worse. It reminds me of anxiety disorders/depression. Part of you doesn’t want to heal. You don’t know what to do without the pain and fear. You don’t know who you’d be. The unknown is scarier than the pain and misery. That’s Malcolm right now. He knows Martin is bad for his mental health but he’s afraid to lose Martin because without Martin’s voice Malcolm has no idea who he is. 

1:55 - I can’t decide if I love or hate Ruiz. She’s really combative? Like Malcolm didn’t say “You’re here to take over” aggressively. At all. I respect the hell out of her for being a total badass and good at her job....but she’s also kind of verbally aggressive? And pretending she doesn’t know Martin is Malcolm’s father? Like - I know she was probably trying to break the ice but it was really unprofessional and kind of a dick move? IDK something about Ruiz just kind of rubs me the wrong way (no this isn’t sexism. I’m a woman working in a male-dominated field. I respect the hell out of career-driven women. This is purely just something about her personality that bothers me.)

2:41 - Oh yeah. Gil did not like the joke about Ruiz not knowing The Surgeon = Malcolm’s father. Look at Gil. He’s annoyed but he’s also worried af about what that little comment did to his already mentally fragile profiler. 

3:22 - Just how many times has Malcolm played that voicemail since the end of 2x10? It looks like Gil’s already heard it. Dani’s probably heard it. How many times did Malcolm listen to it - desperately searching for clues? This is not good for Malcolm’s mental health. He needs a hug - not to listen to his manipulative serial killer father on repeat (although, that’s kind of the show isn’t it?). Also, where’s the “we’re the same” part of the message? Did Malcolm delete the end of the message? Maybe so he doesn’t become a suspect? 

3:32 - Look at how utterly furious and concerned Gil is. Guys. Guys. Papa!Gil is BACK. <3 <3 <3 <3 Oh how I’ve missed him. Seriously though, Gil looks absolutely livid (at Martin) because he can see how upset Malcolm is and he knows it’s all Martin’s fault. Plus the concerned looks he keeps shooting at Malcolm? <3 My heart <3 

3:39 - “Of course not.” LIAR. I truly believe this episode is an excellent example of a character “knowing something as fact in their heads but feels the opposite way in their hearts”. Malcolm is still a little boy desperate for his father’s love. Problem is, Malcolm is also a highly educated adult man who knows that his father is incapable of truly caring about him. 

3:55 - Gil watching Malcolm’s hand shake. <3 I have no words. Gil looks so concerned. We’re getting so close to a full Malcolm breakdown and I’m here for it. If we get a full on intervention and/or hospital scene I will be the happiest person alive. 

4:15 - A couple of things 1) look at how Capshaw is glancing around the room when Gil, Malcolm, and Jessica are talking about how Daryl tried to kill Jessica. Capshaw is showing equal amounts of disdain, envy, and guilt. 2) Gil making a joke just to make Jessica and Malcolm smile is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Gil is single handedly, emotionally, holding these two together and it’s the content I’ve been desperate for. 

4:42 - <3 <3 My heart is melting. <3 Gil’s little smile when he looks at the picture of baby!Malcolm and baby!Ainsley. Look me in the eyes and tell me Gil isn’t their dad. I’ll fight you. 

4:50 - “All the kooks will come out. I know the drill.” Poor Jessica. She’s really been through a lot of crap. :( 

4:55 - Did Gil shoot Capshaw that suspicious look because he was about to show blatant physical affection to Jessica or because he suspects Capshaw knows something about Martin? Maybe both?

5:00 - Sooooo Gil and Jessica just flirt openly in front of Malcolm now? ....Look at Malcolm’s reaction to their little moment. That boy has heart eyes. <3 Forget Brightwell - Gillica is the ship I will die on. 

5:50 - I promise you. Jessica’s eye roll+huff when Malcolm says he’s going to stay with Capshaw for a minutes is defensive. She’s knows that Malcolm is trying to get information that will help recapture Martin. But right now? She just wants a hug from her son. She wants to keep him in her sight; where she knows he’s safe. 

6:12 - soooooo Capshaw is definitely a psychopath and she’s 100% acting in this scene. Look at her. She’s angry but she’s trying to act calm. She’s trying to justify everything she did but it never quite connects. She’s just a little bit....something. Vacant? Insincere? Malcolm seems to believe her though...because she told him exactly what she knew he would sympathize and empathize with...the next two episodes are going to be incredible. 

7:00 - Damn. Malcolm looks so destroyed in this scene. He looks scared, sad, angry. This boy is riding an emotional elevator that only goes down. I’m just waiting for it to hit the ground. 

7:14 - This is fake. Capshaw’s “crying” here? How completely put together she seems? Fake. She’s trying to act distraught and guilt-ridden but she just seems too put together and angry to make it believable. 

7:25 - How much do you want to bet that Capshaw is either 1) after Martin because one of her family members was killed by the Surgeon, 2) some sort of already established serial killer/psychopath who thinks killing the Surgeon will make her a serial killer legend?

7:30 - Malcolm being kind is everything. <3 Ugh. This little cinnamon roll is such a sweetheart. <3 

8:12 - I’m on Malcolm’s side. Ainsley can’t think about work? Bullshit. Ainsley is somehow in on this whole thing. Istg.

8:21 - “Dad is out there and I don’t know. I’m just not okay.” ....this whole exchange between Ainsley and Malcolm felt forced? Like Ainsley is really off here. It seems out of character that Ainsley would admit that she’s not okay so calmly. She’s too passionate (generally speaking) to just be this calm right now. 

8:24 - Ainsley is way too calm for the daughter of an escaped serial killer. Malcolm looks utterly terrified. Ainsley just looks....indifferent. Sure, maybe she’s processing things different or she’s in some state of shock but I find it unlikely. 

8:41 - Awwww. Looks like Gil let a Whitly near his car. <3

8:51 - Awwwww...Malcolm literally jumping into the ambulance is adorable. <3

9:00 - “So it’s official. The Surgeon’s killing again.” THE LOOK. The look that JT, Dani, and Gil exchange everything to me. It’s concern. For Malcolm. For what they know this is doing to him. It’s fear. For what may happen next. 

9:19 - “Dude.” Some people think JT is being a dick to Malcolm here. I disagree. Sure, it’s not what Malcolm wanted (or needed) to hear. BUT the way I interpreted that ‘dude’: JT is concerned about Malcolm. JT knows that Malcolm is having a hard time right now and JT is worried that Malcolm is reverting back to ‘scared little boy who doesn’t want to believe his dad is a killer’ instead of his usual ‘profiler-mode’. I don’t think JT is upset with Malcolm. I think this is JT acting like Malcolm’s big brother. 

9:26 - “I’m not saying I believe it. But I’m sure he believes it.” Gil isn’t buying that. Look at his face. Gil knows Malcolm is struggling to separate his complex feelings about Martin ‘Dad’ Whitly and Matrin ‘the Surgeon’ Whitly.

9:33 - Again. The phrasing here may have been a little blunt but I think this is JT trying to remind Malcolm that his dad is a monster who doesn’t love him. It’s not a pleasant thing but it is a reminder that Malcolm needed to continue working the case effectively. 

9:38 - JT and Dani exchanging looks of concern when Malcolm raises his voice (and again when Gil sends them to canvas the area for missing cars) <3 WHERE IS MY INTERVENTION?!!? <3

10:01 - “You think I’ve lost it.” :( This breaks my heart. It’s not enough that Malcolm has been on a downward mental health spiral this whole season. Now, Martin escapes and Malcolm is so fragile that he can’t tell the difference between concern and disapproval. He genuinely can’t see that Gil, Dani, and JT are concerned about him. He’s interpreting their concern as distrust and disapproval. :( 

10:30 - .....where’s Gil’s car? Did he leave it with Dani and JT? 

10:45 - “He lived here with my mother before I was born.” Excuse me? What? My brain is short circuiting. I want more details. I find this information utterly fascinating. Were Jessica’s parents alive? Is it a Milton family home or did Jessica and/or Martin buy it themselves?

10:51 - “If my father was a serial killer I may have fortified my house a little better.” .....no. This felt wrong. I don’t like that Gil said this. Why would Malcolm fortify the house more? Martin was literally chained to a wall. PLUS Gil’s been to Malcolm’s place before. If Gil (the cop) was concerned about safety he would’ve said something to Malcolm about it before now. 

11:44 - I want to punch that US Marshall in the face. Don’t you dare suggest that Malcolm should’ve seen this coming or that he has anything to do with Martin’s escape. I also love this interaction. It really shows the story of Malcolm’s life: his colleagues don’t trust him because of who his father is. Malcolm’s skill is never enough for the cops/FBI/law enforcement to trust him because Martin is a serial killer. Shouldn’t it count for something that Malcolm is the one who turned Martin over to the cops AS A 10 YEAR OLD? ALSO - WTF did Malcolm have ammo for his antique weapons??!?!?

11:54 - Look at Dani and JT. They look ashamed and concerned. Almost as if they just realized that they’re the only ones in the precinct (other than Gil) who have ever given Malcolm a chance. 

12:02 - The hand tremor <3 Damn. Someone hug him. He is so close to a full mental breakdown. I can’t wait. 

12:17 - “I’m not fine.” I. Am. So. Proud. Our broken boy just told the truth about his mental state. Look at Dani. She’s shocked and she’s more concerned than ever. Malcolm admitting he’s not fine means he’s really really not fine. This is bad. Malcolm is going to lose it soon. 

12:35 - “You were in control” I understand why that would be comforting for Malcolm. HOWEVER, when it’s said like that Malcolm probably draws the parallel between himself and Martin (the manipulative control freak). :(

12:55 - Malcolm expressing his self doubt is shattering. He’s being so vulnerable with Dani right now and I don’t even care about the Brightwell ship at the moment - I’m just proud of him for opening up to someone. 

13:03 - “Usually his voice is in my head all the time” Yes. Because even though Martin was chained to a wall, he was still in control. The constant phone calls. The verbal chess games. The traumatic memories. Malcolm has never been able to escape Martin. Ever. Now 2/3 of his regular Martin exposures have disappeared and Malcolm doesn’t know how do go about daily life without the constant harassment. 

13:40 - There’s no way Jessica was actually in enough pain to ask for a painkillers. Jess overheard Malcolm and Capshaw talking and she came to ask Capshaw about it. 

14:14 - “I feel like I’m in Hell’s waiting room.” “Been there for 23 years.” Ouch. Capshaw is lying through her teeth but Jessica? Jessica is being sincere. My heart breaks for her. Also - the fact that every time we’ve seen Jessica bond with another woman (Eve, Capshaw, Birdie) that woman is a manipulative woman trying to use Jessica’s connection to Martin for her own personal gain is very upsetting. I petition for Jessica to bond with Tally and/or Dani. 

14:40 - Look at Capshaw’s face when Jessica mentions Martin’s open casket. She’s hopeful. Like she just found a potential partner in crime. Or at least she just found another reason to justify what she’s about to do to Martin. 

15:15 - I can’t anymore. It’s been driving me CRAZY that Dani’s curls are extremely different sizes in almost every other scene this episode. Sometimes the curls are reasonably tight and a little frizzy, Then in scenes like this one her curls are big, loose, and clean. Her hair is gorgeous both ways but the inconsistency is really bothering me. 

15:52 - Americans - help me out. Is this a thing? Do your bowling alleys serve alcohol? Specifically wine? My Canadian ass is curious (our bowling alleys serve pop and bottled water. And maybe fruit juice). 

15:52 - Look at how cautious Malcolm is as he approaches the boy. He’s afraid. Afraid that he’ll see evidence that the Surgeon is killing again. 

16:45 - Who did Pete steal those clothes from? It wasn’t the EMTs.....did he raid Malcolm’s closet?!?!?!

17:15 - Pete was 10 when he found a quasi-sanctuary from his abusive father. So was Malcolm (in the sense that Martin was arrested and physically removed from the home). 

17:40 - I love this about Malcolm. Pete helped Martin escape. Pete is a killer. But Malcolm is standing there talking to Pete like they’re friends. Malcolm genuinely empathizes with Pete’s childhood. It’s messed up but it’s also beautiful. Malcolm truly has a good heart. 

18:00 - And now Malcolm is scared. He’s just remembered that Pete is a serial killer and he’s in danger.

18:15 - Look, Pete’s a bad guy. But his childhood? Damn. That sucks. :( 

18:33 - “Tell me where Martin’s headed.” Not “The Surgeon”, not “Dr. Whitly”, not “my father”. “Martin”. Because Malcolm doesn’t know “Martin”. He’s met his father/dad - the man who loved him and cared for him during the first 10 years of his life. He’s met “The Surgeon” - the man who chloroformed him, manipulated him, and emotionally abused him his entire life. He’s met “Dr. Whitly” - the man who tried to teach him about the human body as a child and the man who gives him valuable medical insight on cases. But Malcolm’s never met this side of Martin Whitly and he doesn’t know what to expect. So he’s calling him “Martin”.

18:56 - Malcolm, you moron. Pete can see that you’re already suffering.

19:07 - I’ll be honest. I was kind of shocked that they killed off Pet like this. I knew Christian Brole was a guest star so obvious something would happen to write his character off the show but....this was intense. 

19:16 - “Bright I saw it too.” Thank you, Dani. Calm this boy down. He’s about 10 seconds away from being arrested for being a moron at a crime scene. 

19:30 - “It is my job to find my father.” This runs deep. Malcolm isn’t just talking about how it’s his job to profile where Martin might be. This is Malcolm admitting that he’s been subconsciously looking for his father for 23 years. He’s just a little boy who keeps visiting a serial killer in prison because he hopes that one day he’ll find the father that loved him (or at least acted like it). :( Someone hug this boy. <3

19:44 - I found how Malcolm pushes Dani off of him interesting. He’s clearly furious. He clearly is not in the mood to be touched but as soon as Dani starts manhandling him he sort of calms down? He’s not calm but he gains better control of himself. He listens to Dani when she guides him away from Ruiz, (he’s not perfect by any means) but he walks away and you can see his body language relax slightly. 

20:11 - I kind of feel bad for JT. Gil and Jessica have blatantly flirted in front of him twice now (2x5 and now). That’s got to be awkward for him. hahaha

20:14 - “Where is Ainsley?” Good question Gil. Malcolm (who is on the verge of a panic attack) is working himself ragged to find Martin. Jessica is terrified and going through old photos to see if she can find anything that might give a clue to Martin’s whereabouts. But Ainsley? Not only is she calm - she’s not reporting on the prison break. She’s not actively trying to find Martin and she’s not terrified. Why? I honestly think (hope) she’s working with Capshaw. 

20:20 - That look Gil shoots JT. Yep. Gil definitely suspects that Ainsley’s involved. I’m pretty sure Gil has pieced together what happened to Endicott and now he suspects Ainsley. 

20:30 - hahahaha the way that JT stares at Gil as Gil leaves the room. hahahaha. He’s like: “This is awkward. I don’t want to babysit your rich girlfriend (and the Mom of the most annoyingly endearing profilers in existence). I am uncomfortable and I hate that you’re leaving me here alone.”

21:05 - I LOVE THIS SCENE. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.  I love how Dani is slouching in Gil’s chair like she owns it. I love that Malcolm is sitting on the couch like a scolded child. I love that they’re talking about Gil’s birthday. 

21:32 - “I’m already drafting an apology letter.” “That’s not enough.” SAY IT LOUDER DANI. This. FINALLY we get someone calling Malcolm on his passive suicidality. Yes, Malcolm is driven and obsessed with the case (any case). But he also risks his life needlessly to solve them. As though he thinks he’s not worthy of saving. As though he believes he deserves to suffer for what he did to The Surgeon and for what The Surgeon did to his victims. Malcolm is passionate and dedicated to his job. But he doesn’t care about his life enough to protect it. That’s passive suicidality in my books.

21:43 - “For a killer who has done nothing but make your life a living hell.....he’s not worth it.” THIS. Malcolm doesn’t hear this enough. People always suspect him of being like Martin. People rarely take the time to realize that Malcolm was just a little boy who was traumatized by the things he found out about Martin. Strangers judge and treat Malcolm like a criminal just because his father is a publicly bad person. It’s been happening for so long that Malcolm believes he’s a bad person who isn’t worthy of happiness. 

21:52 - Poor Malcolm. His little face. :( He looks so sad, angry, and scared all at the same time. This is another case of “the logical part of my brain knows I’m acting irrationally but I can’t stop it because the emotions are too big and strong and everything hurts.”

22:05 - “I’m sorry.” MALCOLM WHY THE HELL ARE YOU APOLOGIZING TO DANI?!? Because you yelled at Ruiz and now Dani’s worried about you? Dude. You’re having a mental health crisis and a really really bad day. You don’t need to apologize right now. Dani doesn’t want your apology. She wants you to take care of yourself. 

22:25 - “Jury’s still out.” Ouch. 

22:32 - Oh look. Another old person with a landline. hahahahha

23:11 - JT being a sweetheart to Jessica. <3 I love this man. This is so cute. I feel like this is the first time JT’s truly seen Jessica as a full human with a personality as opposed to Malcolm’s rich mother and Gil’s love interest.

23:18 - “I get a call like that once a week.” OH HELL NO. 

23:30 - I love the fact that Jessica and JT are bonding over the fact that they’re both being harassed and judged for something outside of their control. 

23:41 - SOMEONE IS CALLING TALLY?!?! NO. NO. NO. NO. I’M FURIOUS. 

24:04 - “I don’t know. Why did you pretend no one was on the phone earlier?” I love this line. Jess didn’t tell for the same reason JT didn’t. They’re independent, strong people. They don’t want bother other people with their problems. They’re embarrassed that this is happening to them and on some level they probably think (wrongfully) that they deserve it. 

24:46 - Oh look. All of Malcolm’s worst nightmares are coming true on the same day. The look of pure terror on his face. <3 

25:20 - I want more Gil + Ainsley scenes. I find them fascinating. Ainsley looks like she resents Gil (probably because he spent so much time with Malcolm instead of her in the 90s+00s). Gil looks remorseful, sad, concerned, and fatherly. Like, even though he didn’t spend a lot of time with Ainsley - he still loves her. Because he loves Jessica and Malcolm so he loves Ainsley by extension. 

25:30 - “People always suspect him” THIS. Ainsley is trying to manipulate Gil into believing she’s innocent by drawing parallels between her actions and Malcolm’s. What Ainsley doesn’t seem to realize (and why Gil is so cold when he says “People always suspect him”) is that Gil watched Malcolm grow up. He watched the cops question him in 98′ because they thought he was a suspect. He watched Malcolm grow up as people bullied him and locked him in closets because he’s the son of a murderer. Malcolm was fired from the FBI for being the Surgeon’s son (and punching a sheriff). Ainsley though? She forwarded her career by televising Malcolm’s mental health issues and proudly announcing that she’s the daughter of a killer. She still has a job. People still treat her with respect. Malcolm wasn’t granted that luxury. Gil knows it. He watched as Ainsley used Martin as a tool for success while Malcolm struggled under the weight of Martin’s crimes and abuse. 

25:34 - “Ouch”. Malcolm’s not offended. Look at the little smile he sends toward Dani. <3

25:36 - Ainsley is furious. That’s the look she had in her eyes when she confronted Malcolm about the pig’s blood incident. She has no remorse. She’s pissed that her brother is overshadowing her.

25:49 - “We didn’t plan a prison break.” Who’s the ‘we’. Her and Malcolm? Or Ainsley and Martin? Or all three? Or Capshaw and Ainsley? ....this 3/4 of those options are definitely true. But one of them might be a lie. I think Ainsley was purposely vague to make it harder to Malcolm, Gil, and Dani to tell if she’s lying. 

26:17 - Ainsley isn’t scared, stressed, or anxious when she picks up the phone. She seems annoyed but hopeful. I find that interesting. 

26:46 - That smile. Ainsley loved talking to her dad. As a girl who grew up without a father - I feel for her. BUT GIRL - he’s a killer and this is not healthy. 

27:08 - Malcolm suspects Ainsley. And he’s scared. Bring me my popcorn. I’m here for the show. 

27:18 - This must be killing Ainsley. The fact that she knows Malcolm, Gil, and Jessica are a quasi-family unit. It’s probably making her feel more left out than usual. 

27:30 - “Maybe I should’ve done more for her when she was growing up.” :( My heart is shattering. This isn’t Gil’s fault but damn, does this hurt. 

27:40 - “No matter what we did, all roads led to Martin.” More confirmation that Jessica and Gil co-parented Malcolm. <3 This is amazing. I’m so happy. 

27:53 - Really Jess? You’re turned on by the fact that Gil has a secret plan while your daughter is being questioned about helping a murderer escape prison?!?! It’s adorable (especially how Gil starts flirting back with her) but also - not the time. 

28:14 - This is why I think Ainsley is somehow involved with Capshaw and/or is a budding serial killer. She’s so cheery. She’s being questioned by the police because they suspect her of committing a crime. Even an innocent person would be a little anxious or defensive. She’s just....numb but also cheery at the same time? Something’s not right here. 

28:19 - “This room is under surveillance at all times.” ....but is it under audio surveillance? Is this interrogation going to become a bigger part of the plot later in the season? Because Ainsley verbally questions if she’s like Martin.

29:17 - As much as I hate Martin, I agree with his analysis of Ainsley. She’s high on charm, low on compassion and empathy. She doesn’t have normal reactions to traumatic events. She never appears scared or sad. We’ve only ever really seen Ainsley happy, determined, or angry. 

29:20 - ....I fully believe Ainsley is fake crying to manipulate Malcolm during the interrogation.

31:25 - “Do you think I’m the reason he broke out?” Ugh. Ainsley is so starved for parental attention and it’s heartbreaking.....maybe that’s how this killer was made.

32:00 - Gil doesn’t think Ainsley’s a credible source of information. Let’s all just sit on that information for a bit. 

32:19 - “It’s not him I’m worried about.” <3 <3 <3 <3 Papa!Gil <3 I’ve missed you. <3 <3

32:34 - YO Gil, Malcolm. Have you two knuckleheads really never watched Criminal Minds?!?! This dude is showing textbook “I’m a hostage” behaviour. 

33:19 - Gil calling Malcolm his ‘partner’ is so precious. <3

34:50 - Sooooo 400K is a LOT of money. Did Martin use Milton family money for his murder agenda?!? Did Jessica never notice that much cash missing from their accounts?!? Where did all this money come from?! 

35:32 - Ahhhh lovely. Martin had a fake Canadian passport. 

35:46 - Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep because Martin put Malcolm’s batman toy in his murder escape bag. It’s so twisted and yet, sweet? 

35:50 - “What’s that?” <3 My heart has shattered. Look at the unshed tears in Malcolm’s eyes. Listen to how soft Gil’s voice is. Look at Malcolm’s sad little heartbroken, hopeful smile and Gil’s heartbroken look of concern. <3 I adore this exchange so so so so much. This is the Papa!Gil content I’ve been hungry for. 

37:38. -”Bright, she said no.” ....and Gil doesn’t want him going in there either. It’s not safe for anyone. But especially not for Malcolm in his current mental state. 

38:25 - “Don’t ever imply Bright doesn’t want to save lives.” YES TELL HER GIL. YES. I’m living my best life. The Papa!Gil fans were FED this episode. <3

38:51 - “They’re going to kill him.” I love this because I get it. My dad was abusive. I don’t like him and I don’t respect him. I think he’s a shitty human being. But I still love him. A part of me always will. Malcolm’s relationship with Martin is a little more complicated but it boils down to the same thing - no matter what a part of you will always love your parents. You might hate that part of yourself. You might try to suppress it. But it’s always there. Whether you like it or not. The idea that Martin will be killed? That’s terrifying for Malcolm because a dead Martin Whitly means he’ll never ‘earn’ his father’s love. It means his chance of finding the father who loved him pre-age 10 is gone forever. And that’s terrifying. Malcolm will grieve what he lost but he won’t grieve Martin as a human being - just who Martin could’ve been for Malcolm. 

39:22 - Gil chasing Malcolm <3 I’m in love. 

39:55 - Again, where the hell did Hector get these clothes? He sure as hell didn’t steal that plaid shirt from Malcolm’s place or the EMTs. 

40:10 - Hector is my favourite killer. I love him and I don’t know why. 

40:50 - This sequence is haunting. Watching Gil, Jessica, and Malcolm terrified and concerned in isolating shots. <3 *Chef’s kiss*. AND THE FACT THAT JT is still with Jessica?!?! <3 Glorious. I’m here for it. 

41:35 - I don’t like the way Capshaw looked at Malcolm when she said, “He’s your father.”.....it was appraising. Almost like she’s considering killing Malcolm to snub the whole Whitly family of potential killers. 

42:17 - That line about karma......holy shit. Capshaw is evil #confirmed. Malcolm is a moron for not spotting it right this second. 

42:55 - I have so many questions. 1) how did Capshaw get Martin in the car without anyone noticing? Like, why didn’t the security cameras catch it? 2) ....how much air circulation is in a car trunk? 3) How long has Capshaw been planning this? 4) is it really Martin in the car? Or someone else? ....maybe she had a goon kidnap Martin and take him to a secondary location after he left Claremont grounds? 5) Did Capshaw ever have a romantic interest in Martin? Was it ALL show?

AHHHHH this episode was amazing and I can’t wait for Tuesday. Thanks for hanging out. <3 

#jess-rewatches-prodigal #malcolm bright #prodigal son #gil arroyo #dani powell #JT Tarmel #ainsley whitly #martin whitly #edrisa tanaka #jessica whitly #I LOVE this show #whump #rewatch #spoliers #malcolm needs a hug #ps #so good #you can run #2x11 #e11 #HELL YES #tw sucidal ideation #tw mental illness #S2

[hexfloog]

So, ShinRan: think there's any way in hell it could actually work, even without the whole Conan thing?

Ehheh, so... a disclaimer: my brain is not really wired to think about ships or romance in general, and it's never been something I've devoted much thought to in any franchise, really. Idk if this is because I'm aro af or what and just don't have a radar for it (uncomfirmed), but I can think of a grand total of like two ships I actively enjoy... across all my fandoms. Mad respect for people who can put thoughtful effort into analyzing that sort of thing beyond surface-level cuteness (which is where I mostly stand on this), so that said, my thoughts on any kind of ship-- even ShinRan-- are incredibly scant, and at this point in time I subscribe to it mostly because it's overtly canon.

I think, subconsciously, I HC Shinichi as ace/heteroromantic. But he's a teenager, there's a lot of people who don't really know where they stand at that age and he's so engrossed in his passions (cough, work) outside of his personal life that he also probably just doesn't really know much in the way of intimacy outside of Ran, what with his absentee (also laissez-faire) parents and otherwise few friends. And even what he does know, I think, amounts to very little. In short, I think he's inexperienced and it translates to shaky ground on which to base my observations.*

*In all fairness, this is a bit hard for me to gauge as most of their interactions prior to Conan are told in flashback and simultaneously framed by both Ran and the show's narrative to keep Shinichi centered as the Hero... some conflicts of interest exist there, I think. Is Ran really just naïve, or is the narrative trying to justify Shinichi's sometimes tactlessness behavior for the sake of the audience?

Just in general though, I'm not a huge fan of the childhood sweetheart setup for a romantic relationship. It makes for some cute, fluffy content for sure, but as a healthy couple I think they would need more time to work things out-- which they won't have until the whole Conan thing resolves itself, honestly. He (Conan) does need to go before any real progress can be made; The Whole Situation is just such a huge hindrance to anything they could feasibly make progress on together for a variety of reasons... like being forced to communicate in secret all the time, to say the least. Personally, I even believe that the few times he's able to appear to her in his own body are even more damaging than if he just... didn't. The usual intent is to appease Ran's suspicions, yes? But... doesn't it end up being more detrimental than not? Like who else does he serve-- aside from scratching his own itch by proxy-- by transforming every now and then?

Speaking of Ran: I firmly believe she has some serious abandonment issues, caused by circumstances largely out of her control-- which Shinichi is absolutely not helping by being secretive all the time-- and I think what she really wants is stability, as a result. Her estranged parents forced her to grow up way too fast and even before Conan came under her wing she was already practically a young mother. (I just watched OVA 6, and it kinda hurt watching Shinichi flashback to watching her buy groceries growing up over the years, no doubt because Eri was no longer in the picture and Kogoro, the remaining parent, is Irresponsible.) She didn't choose that, this balancing act of keeping her father in check and trying to enjoy her youth, and if Shinichi is one of her only tethers to a way out of that, it's... not a particularly healthy setup to romance, imo. Maybe it's my complete lack of a shipping radar, maybe it's from personal experience, but I think that their relationship is less romantic at this stage and more "extremely good friends."

Anyway - you asked if I think it would work, and... Maybe? To us, the viewers, it feels like an eternity has elapsed in the DC-verse, but canonically it's only been what, a year or so? Even absent the Conan Predicament, I don't think they've been an item-- or even seriously thinking of themselves as an item-- for long enough to really know for sure. Given that they only became official in the midst of *gestures wildly* All of This I think I'd be making an unfair verdict when they started at a huge disadvantage in the first place.

All that said about Ran - I also think her desire for normalcy is what keeps her waiting for Shinichi. I don't think she'd let that go anytime soon, and also what I think could drive her motivation to make it work. I'm slightly less confident about Shinichi; he clearly cares deeply for her, but the ways he goes about showing it (ahem, the Big Secret) seems misguided at times, not to speak of the apparent temptation to usurp her place in his priorities with his passions (ahem, How This Whole Thing Got Started).

As an aside... one of several things I constantly hope for is more meaningful dialogue over the phone. Since it's their only real avenue of communicating until further notice, it's a window into the potentially uncomfortable and a way for the more troubled parts of their relationship to be explored, but like many things in this show, the possibility is merely teased and not tread. An example which comes to mind is their brief conversation from Movie 2, when Ran is confiding in Shinichi over the possibility Kogoro may have taken a needlessly reckless risk in Eri's hostage situation (Funi dialogue below):

"Hey, Rachel. It's been a while." "Jimmy?" "Dr. Agasa told me what's going on with your dad. I'm really sorry." "Sorry doesn't keep people alive, Jimmy! We need your help, get back here right away!" "I can't, I'm backed up with cases of my own. I won't be back there for some time." [Defeated] "...Yeah." "Now don't be like that, Rachel. Dr. Agasa brought me up to speed on the entire case, so if I can figure anything out, I'll let you guys know, okay?" [Pause] "Jimmy... would you have shot... me?" "Huh?" "Now I know... that's why she left. She could never trust him not to put her in danger again." [Pause] "I heard about that case, also. Richard shot her." "It doesn't matter how sure of himself he was, he shouldn't... have put his wife in jeopardy like that. You wouldn't have fired the gun if it were me, would you, Jimmy?" "Come on, Rachel. Don't ask me things like that."

Honestly the fact that Kogoro/Eri and Shinichi/Ran's relationship is often paralleled, I especially find the above conversation really intriguing (the stuff in bold) and I wish it weren't cut short--

TL;DR I'm not well-tuned to analyze ships, but as both Shinichi and Ran are still teenagers and the Current Circumstances keep getting in the way of their relationship... I think the possibility still exists to make things work, in spite of my believing the foundation of 'childhood sweetheart' is a bit rocky.

#ask #mirrorfalls #dcmk #shinran #internal screaming hours #long post #yeah sorry i don't have much else to say on it... ships are really not my forte #tbh i don't think babby hex was a big shipper growing up either #so wowee i really haven't ever given much thought to this huh #not knocking the ship i'm just impartial if i'm completely honest

[chemicalpink]

Power and Control ♡ Jung Hoseok

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x reader

Genre: smut, angsty

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Sugar baby themes, power dynamics outside the bedroom, unprotected sex 

Summary: Women and men we are the same but love will always be a game and I’m gonna make you fall.

A/N: Well this was a stubborn one. Like seriously took me a whole month to try and write Hoseok as a villan-y character and at the end... i kinda failed BUT I really liked this one. Thanks for waiting. I hope you are doing great with life aside from all that is going one. Take care. I hope you like this one! 

Hoseok wouldn’t dare to try and label what you and he had as conventional, hell, he wouldn’t even dare to try and label himself as conventional, quite the contrary, because really, what’s a broke college-graduate-to-be got to do when a beautiful, empowered woman like yourself is seeking out a sugar baby deal? Say no? He would have to be stupid, plus, it’s not like you two are 10 or so years apart, you’re just 2 years older than him; plus, the deal was simple enough, apart from a disclosure contract and a few sessions of experimenting what you two liked with each other, it had been easy enough to fall into a routine.

Said routine meaning two to three sessions a week, some weekends together and playing as arm candy in most of your business parties, to which he would then find his semester’s tuition fee paid off, the latest limited-edition Supreme collection on his college dorm and one time, an all-included vacation to Europe for Christmas.

As time went on, nearly a year into it, it had become harder and harder to keep coming up with excuses as to how exactly he was being able to afford such a luxurious way of living without it being apparent that he had worked for it, especially when his closed group of friends were clearly struggling with it all (he might have asked you once to pay for Namjoon’s tuition fee after he got injured and couldn’t work for the month, the guy so in the clouds hadn’t even noticed the debt gone), and you know, Jung Hoseok isn’t a man with fragile masculinity, he knows exactly who he is, so even if for him being a sugar baby was really no big deal, the constant assumption of sugar babies having daddy/mommy issues sure was in the back of his mind every time he so much as the thought of sharing his lifestyle with his friends crossed his mind (cause he did not have daddy/mommy issues, thank you very much).

“Hobi, this just got here for you, I thought we had talked about your shopping addiction?”  Namjoon said as he passed him by on his way out the kitchen, coffee mug in hand, small package on the other, placing it on the kitchen counter before turning to look at him. Hoseok so much as fake laughed his worst laugh trying (and most probably failing) to not make his roommate any more suspicious. 

See, the greatest excuse for the time being all those months ago, when you had started gifting him stuff and sending it to his dorm, was saying that he ‘might have developed an addiction to online shopping’. He had talked it out with you, and you agreed to start delivering the gifts on your sessions. Hoseok hummed while taking the package from the counter “I just- I had this coupon and I had to use it” Namjoon wasn’t even paying attention to him anymore, he could clearly not have said a thing.

“Hey, hyungs would you mind if I-OH MY FUCKING GOD IS THAT BOX FROM THE NEWEST CHANEL COLLECTION???” Taehyung was… quite a melodramatic man when it came down to his expertise: fashion; which was one of the reasons Hoseok could kind of breathe around his own home. Namjoon didn’t know shit about fashion. But Taehyung would a hundred percent not fall into his ‘I got a coupon’ facade for a split second. His throat ached to instinctevely deny the younger’s claim but he knew it would do no good. Hoseok had once committed the deadly mistake of wearing one of the perfumes you had gifted him for his birthday to one of their nights out and that man right there, Kim Taehyung, had known from a sniff that he was wearing a thousand dollars Paco Rabanne Luxe Edition 1 million 18 carats. How exactly? He wouldn’t dare to ask. Taehyung knew his fashion. But the night didn’t seem to come to an end soon enough with his friend’s questioning. “Hoseok-hyung, how did you get access to one of the most exclusive collection previews of the world? I mean, I’m all for Gucci, but go off I guess”

So they are talking about it. May the gods have mercy on his unable to lie for his life soul.

“It was a gift from uh- my distant rich- auntie?” both Taehyung and Namjoon turned to look at him in the most sceptical way possible, but soon went back to their conversation.

He was going to have the talk with you later, for the second time. As if on cue, his phone dinged with a text from you, very out of character, if he may add, you two kept it on the line of the contract that bound the two of you, no texting, no calls, no nothing. He was busy with school most of the time and you were probably busier with your business stuff anyways.

From: Y/N [12:38]

You got my gift?

To: Y/N [12:38]

Yeah. Now apparently I have a rich distant auntie that is sending me expensive af gifts.

To: Y/N [12:39]

But then again, who am I to complain, right?

From: Y/N [12:43]

Great. Wear it tonight. 10 pm sharp. Long day.

Over the course of the months with you, he had learnt quite a few things about himself, first, he had an expensive taste, he just couldn’t afford it. Second, you knew his love language was being gifted things, and lord, did you take advantage of that to keep him wrapped around your finger. Third, he always felt as if you had come to know him inside and out so clearly, you had come to read him like an open book but he couldn’t say the same. You were a reserved woman, he knew that. With your position and all, it made sense. But he was just as cold to people he wasn’t close with, so he had to have some upper hand at it. Even after spending days on researching you he always came empty-handed. Sure, you two fucked, kissed, hanged out, but there was just this sense of chemistry lacking as if you two melted together when naked but once the fog cleared, it became a constant battle to gain control over the other. You had gifts to win him over. He had his charm and amazing bedroom skills to keep you grounded. You made it work. Kind of.

He arrived at your place a few minutes before 10, making himself a drink at the sky bar in the middle of your living room as he stared outside the floor-length window to watch Seoul’s night sky and lighted ground of the busy city, your heels clicking on the floor when you entered the space.

“Oh you got here early?” he turned around to watch you dispose of your jewellery in the entrance table, stealing glances at him every few seconds “I didn’t think you would actually listen to me and wear it, do you like it?

Hoseok lifted the glass to his lips to sip the alcohol. The poorly lit room brought a new light to you that deep down he had known for a while but he wasn’t willing to accept, the tiredness behind your eyes luring him in, making him imagine for a second that the setting was much more domestic than what it really was “Got off classes early and yeah, it does the job, thanks”

You made your way to the bar to fix yourself a drink, all the while he couldn’t stop staring at you, the imposing aura you always exuded sending shivers down his spine, his mind racing. He could already picture you bent over the couch for him as you took a seat and waved him over.

He couldn’t even begin to comprehend how much time went by when your lips found his, your dress riding up your thighs when you moved to straddle him, hands finding your ass, tongues fired up with evident desire as you ground down on his hard length “You texted me first today” you broke away from the kiss to look at him funnily, for the first time in the almost a year knowing you, he could see the slightest of vulnerability in your eyes, fondness, for him. So after all, you were wrapped around his finger “Are you falling in love with me, miss Y/N?” 

Your answer was very much in character, sucking his jawline while your hands worked their way down his pants to free his cock, stroking him a few time to bring it to a full length, his head throwing back into the couch in pleasure as you retorted teasingly “Think you’re going to break my heart, Hobi?” 

He knew then that your favourite game had begun. A constant game of tug and pull to lead the sex that had become a routine for both of you.

He had somehow worked his way under your dress at the same time as he pushed his pants to his ankles and removed them, giving your clothed core just the right amount of friction you were seeking and providing him with the perfect moment to flip you both over on the small space, a smirk taking over his factions “You might be good looking baby, but you’re not a piece of art”

“God I need you so much right now” you whispered at him, before tracing the expanse of his back under his newly bought sweater, distracting him enough for you to take his place on top, aching core approaching his face as his smile didn’t seem to get any bigger “Dinner’s served”

“My favourite,” he said before beginning to suck on the inside of your thighs, working his way to where you needed him the most, hot tongue wetting your already drenching panties for a few seconds before he pushed the cloth aside and gripped you even closer to his face, teeth nibbling at your folds teasingly, drawing a loud moan out of you, walls instinctively clenching as his tongue traced you whole, lewd noises filling up the room, subtly grinding up to him as he traced circles on your clit before eating you out once again, up until your thighs started trembling against his head, yours thrown back in ecstasy at the pleasure. His face glistening with your juices once you let him take control over the situation.

Hoseok’s deft fingers rid you of both of your remaining pieces of clothings as you tried to catch your breath, fully aware of what was about to go on after you had your fun with him. Your exposed skin hits the coldness of the floor as Hoseok rolled both of you down the couch, making you shiver as a smile is plastered in the younger’s face; you close your eyes for a split second, not needing to know that for the time being, Hoseok was pumping his hard cock to ready himself for you, small fluttering kisses adorning the space just below your neck as he approaches your ear silently “I was thinking… a Tesla would be a great combo with my brand new Chanel collection, you know?”

A small laugh leaves your lips before you open your eyes to see him hovering above you, eyes  travelling your face, a few strands of hair covering his “You are not sweet talking me into buying you a Tesla, Hoseok”

“I was thinking more of fucking it out of you” it is then that he enters you in a swift thrust, letting you adjust for a few seconds before moving experimentally at the new angle for both of you that was your living room floor, his hand coming up to place your right leg over his shoulder, gaining him better access to have you whimpering below him, just the way he liked. Long, skilled fingers caress your clit as he keeps a steady rhythm inside of you, feeling the warmth enveloping him and your walls clench around him as he speeds up his pace on your nerve bundle.

“Oh g-Hoseok I’m gonna cum” your voice is strained and he feels it as the opportunity to wreck you harder, the movement of his hips hitting all the right spots within you, he can feel your leg cramping on his shoulder as a wave of pleasure hits you and he has half a mind to pull out and release himself on your stomach, both of you breathing heavily as the need starts to fade and it all comes to an end. 

You see, if you asked any of Hoseok’s close friends, they would describe him as pure sunshine, and he was, kinda, at least for the most part of his life, but he was also a man determined to get what he wanted in life, which was why, he was currently pondering his next move. After your little session at your living room floor/couch, he had felt a shift in the air, a longing between the two of you, and that only went on for the next few weeks as you would drop your cold facade and text him small things, as he kept on receiving packages at his dorm (without Tae or Joon knowing, thank fuck) and he had found himself thinking about you non-stop. It was pretty obvious, and if someone had known about your existence, they might have pointed it out, cause it was so obvious even for himself, that the tug and pull game of yours, had made you both fall for the other somehow. Which really, wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t for that shitty paragraph on your contract that seems to keep replaying itself inside his mind. If you started becoming too familiar with each other, you would revoke the contract. He had agreed and signed it, thinking that it is just too weird for someone to grow acostumed to another if they just fuck and leave afterwards, but apparently somewhere he went wrong. And he clearly needed the money. You had yet to come to realise your newly found dynamics so he was living on borrowed time. And he had to act quickly.

Hoseok wasn’t really a strategic man, but luck always seemed to be on his side, so it took a mere week to come up with something. He had been visiting the hospital where his sister worked (per his mother’s request) just hanging out, which probably wasn’t even allowed to, but Jiwoo had insisted to wait for her lunch break as it was a slow day anyway. So he did.

“You’ve never told me how you paid off your tuition without dad’s help, Hobi” his sister commented as she went through some papers on her desk. His mind crashed. Error 404. Flee the country. It is one thing lying to his friends about his way of living, a completely different story when family starts asking.

“Oh I’m a- personal assistant of some CEO” he answered, turning to look the other way towards the entrance, almost nonchalantly, but life liked to have fun with him, so of course just as he is trying his best to keep you out of his mind, you had to be walking right through the door, not as outstanding as he is used to see you, but the aura you exude that is so uniquely yours is unable to miss out. You two didn’t talk on personal life, but he had researched you over the months, trying (and failing) to gain some type of useless power over you. It seemed like whatever wasn’t business, wasn’t you. So he had to play dumb.

“Who 's that?” he asked his sister, just as you were rounding the corner, Jiwoo turning to look at your disappearing figure

“Oh, that’s Y/N”

“Y/N like Y/N Y/L/N? the CEO?” the idea of maybe getting into acting and winning an Oscar crossed his mind, his sister hummed in thought

“I guess, Y/N is quite an unusual name right?” she resumed whatever she was doing before adding “But this girl couldn’t be her, she comes to visit her sister religiously every Friday”

“Is she sick?” so your cold uncaring demeanor was really just a front you put up for people.

“You’re starting to sound like a pervert, Hoseok”

He really wishes he could say he dropped the whole sick sister thing after that day, but the longer he thought about that, the cleared it was for him that if he was looking for an upper hand for you not to drop him out of the whole money deal once you realised you had both infringed the contract that brought you two together, this was it. He had immense self-confidence, if he said so himself. But there was something about going against you that wasn’t exactly easy to warm up to. He tried several times to come up with a plan but came empty-handed so he guessed he would just have to go with the flow. 

“You’re so wet already” he grunted as you felt his member teasing your entrance, his hand gripping your hair to bring you to face the mirror beside your bed. Hoseok had decided to drop by after he knew you were done with work, taking you by surprise at the unscheduled session, but then again, who were you to complain about the man, who in less than five minutes and some lazy kissing on your bed had both of you riled up and on all fours at his complete mercy “We’ve got some things to talk about, Y/N” 

You tried to turn your face to look at him directly instead of the mirror but he just tightened his grip as he thrusted forward forcefully, making you grip your sheets tighter attempting not to tumble over, a pleasurable sting on your scalp “I’m listening”

“Friday. Lunchtime, what exactly were you doing at the hospital?” he asked and could already feel your though exterior crumble, he just had to hope that whatever big secret it was having a sick little sister was enough for him to keep the upper hand in the situation.

Just as fast as that surprised look had appeared on your face, it was replaced with determination in your eyes as you pressed yourself back onto him, purposely clenching around him in the way you knew drove him crazy “Maybe I’ll talk. If you fuck me hard enough”

So he did.

“So what do you want in exchange for keeping my Friday’s whereabouts a secret?” you asked as his clothes were thrown at him

This was it. “I want my full tuition paid off before you call it quits on us”

You turned to look at him, laughing a little “Hoseok, a human vulnerability doesn’t mean that I am weak” you made your way to the bathroom “You’ll have to work harder for it”

Each day that went by was filled with dread of having his whole lifestyle crumbling down in a second, it had been so long since he had even so much as heard about you. Until he wouldn’t stop hearing about you (kind of) He remembers waking up to a 5am text from you telling him that he couldn’t have peace without a war, but if he was being completely honest, he was kind of asleep at the time so he couldn’t comprehend half of it. But it all became clearer when his phone started blowing up with texts, from Taehyung and Namjoon, to his sister and his parents. Apparently, you had a very expensive shopping spree in his name, delivered especially with lots of love to every person that could, and most certainly would question how exactly he had the kind of money to afford the luxurious gifts that they were all receiving. 

From:Y/N [9:02]

You start at 10. 

To: Y/N [9:02]

Y/N What’s going on?

From: Y/N [9:05]

Welcome to the team, board member Jung Hoseok.

So perhaps you would always have the upper hand when it came to power and control of whatever it was you two were playing. You had no doubt and no obstacle to ruin his whole life. But he guesses that his upper hand is shown in the fact that he could keep you from doing just that.

#bangtanarmynet #networkbangtan #hyunglinenetwork #bts imagine #bts smut game #hoseok imagine #hoseok smut #bts fic #bts x reader #hoseok x reader #jhope scenarios #hoseok scenarios #jhope smut #jung hoseok smut #bts fanfic #bts scenario #bts scenarios #bts imagines #hoseok fanfiction

[silver-wield]

Hi! Sorry for bothering you. Don't know if you already did this one (so many analysis) but what did you thought about Sephiroth killing Barret scene? Everyone just go running to Barret and Cloud just froze.

No bother! Sorry for the wait, I had a few things on my plate to clear lol

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be short-ish.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone’s interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I’ve had other ideas since then) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Cloti reunion analysis 

The Promise Analysis 

Andrea’s approval (Cloti ask response) 

Leslie analysis (not mine, but a good read) 

Cloti action touching 

Aerti friendship analysis 

Cloti body language chapter 3 

Cloti healthy disagreement 

Cloti post heliboss battle (chapter 15) 

Clerith playground scene 

Cloti body language plate fall 

Cloud and Barret friendship 

Resolution scene analysis (A) 

Barret character analysis (chapter 13) 

Cloud character analysis (Honey Bee Inn) 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Recap time!

Okay, so our intrepid heroes have found Aerith, but then Cloud has a ptsd induced attack and passes out. After some exposition courtesy or Red and Aerith, we're back on mission to reach the roof and the Avalanche helicopter waiting for us – thanks to Wedge the cinnamon roll.

Once we reach the President's office we can hear shouting and make our way outside to find Shinra dangling from 70f up. Poor bby. Lemme help you up.

Anyway, Barret stops Tifa going to help (you’re too kind sometimes, T), grabs Shinra and after some massive restraint on his part, tosses him back onto solid ground. He pursues Shinra through the office and then in classic moron moment finds Shinra has a gun pointed at him. I'm not sure why the others didn't go too, but for whatever reason, they're in the doorway while Shinra is making his selfish bastard speech and Barret forgets he's got a literal machine gun for an arm.

Seconds before pulling the trigger, Sephiroth materialises out of thin air – and Cloud's Sephy sense didn't even go off this time – and he stabs Shinra, killing him in an echo of his OG death.

You get a shot of surprised Cloud and Tifa, then Barret lunges for Sephiroth while whispers appear through the doorway.

Ooh damn I'm good! 2nd go and I stop on this shot. First one was blurry.

Ok, this is obviously the moment where Sephiroth runs Barret all the way through. Remember, his sword is like 8ft long or some ridonculous shit like that. It's massive. He has zero need to get close to someone when he stabs them. He didn't do this with Shinra, he was like 3 feet away and still there was plenty of sword sticking out the guy's chest (anyone wonder if Seph is compensating for something? Lol).

Ok, so the point I'm getting at by showing Sephiroth this close to Barret is that this is a personal attack. This isn't something he's done just to kill someone. He's stuck that massive sword all the way through Barret's chest until he's within touching distance of him. This is an attack on Cloud. This is his way of showing Cloud that the vision from the VR scene could absolutely be true. He can make it true.

As for Barret, well he's just been stabbed, so he looks like he wants to go for pizza lol

Tifa automatically reacts and wants to run to Barret and save him. She's lost way too many people over the last day and can't lose anyone else. This is expected of her being the first one to react.

Interestingly, the next one to move is Red. The bromance is real. That's one fast friendship there and I love these two as friends. Barret and Red can snark at each other for a whole game and I'll be happy. 

This is a great moment though because it shows that Red's already formed strong bonds with everyone, enough that he'll go to their aid without stopping to think. For an animal character which is hard to read, you can see very easily the pain, fear and panic in his eye.

If you're a meta!Aerith theoriser like me then this is actually too much emotion on her face for someone who barely knows Barret. She looks like she just lost someone very important to her. They met like an hour ago. I love the amount of emotion on her face here, she clearly cares about Barret a lot. That's an “please God oh no” look if ever I saw one. Makes me wanna tear up and no lie.

And Cloud. Who doesn't move because he's literally frozen in place with a wide eyed look of horror on his face. He's seen Sephiroth stab people before. Back in Nebelheim reactor and then in the VR where he had to watch him stab Tifa (ok not really, but the mental trauma is still the same). He's shutting down. SOLDIER!Cloud.exe has stopped working. Have you tried turning him off and on again?

Cloud's terrified of Sephiroth anyway – he literally whimpers during one ptsd attack – so to see him stab Barret? His friend? And he didn’t even see it coming? It's probably sent his entire mind to a point where he can't function. This is the stuff that breaks him.

Aside: How did Sephiroth pull that whole long ass sword out of Barret without moving away? Does he have slenderman arms on the sly?

This is interesting. Sephiroth looks at Cloud, who's still shell-shocked, but then it's like you can see him rebooting. That absolute fury and hatred he has for Sephiroth overrides most of his shock – or tries. You can see the SOLDIER part of him trying to assert control over his fear, but then it wavers and the shock and fear – likely from real!Cloud – take hold again, making his eyes wide and him look as helpless as he feels.

Sephiroth's goal is to always make Cloud feel helpless, out of control, useless to everyone. That way he can control Cloud and make him do whatever he wants. He's a master manipulator and Cloud with all his issues struggles to fight against that mental barrage. It’s something that never goes away for him. This is his lifetime struggle and it’s a metaphor for those who live with mental health issues. There’s no one final battle and it’s all rosy. It’s never ending and some days you win, some days it’s Sephiroth. The point is to fight.

So, then the whisper leaps into Barret to save him and Sephiroth turns into a piece of Jenova. Now we've got some action happening, Cloud shakes off his weakness and goes back into SOLDIER mode.

Conclusion

Cloud can't deal with emotions. Of any kind. He's emotionally stunted, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have emotions. It's the opposite. He feels things far too deeply and intensely and hasn't learned how to process them effectively in a way that doesn't damage himself. This is stuff you learn as you mature from a teenager to an adult. This is stuff Cloud's been denied by being a lab rat for 4 years. His body may be an adult, but part of him is still 16. He needs to experience life to help him mature and catch that emotional development up to the rest of him. (which is my way of saying he won't be like a 16yr old forever).

Cloud's real and genuine affection for his friend over-rid any kind of control he had over himself and made it impossible for him to move when he saw Barret stabbed. He's also lost too many people, which is partly why he has that SOLDIER persona protecting him. Sephiroth's taunting look made it clear this was to get at Cloud. It had very little to do with Barret. Cloud's anger broke through his shock, but that weakness reasserted itself quickly afterwards, keeping him from acting until Jenova Dreamweaver appeared and he finally had something for SOLDIER!Cloud to take care of.

#final fantasy 7 remake spoilers #final fantasy 7 remake analysis #character analysis #Cloud Strife

[fuckedurbias]

enemies to lovers (but not really) - yoo kihyun

genre: angst + smutty af

requested? nope

word count: 7.7k !!!

warnings: cursing, alcohol mentions, the smut is dirty af i can’t put it all in a warning oop

A/N: i made kihyun basically a bully and a giant asshole but ik he’s a soft baby and a lovely boy but i just have a lot of pent up feelings towards him, i can’t admit my feelings for him so i just use hatred as an excuse okay its a personal problem. pls dont hate me!!

You couldn’t get rid of him no matter how hard you tried. It was hard enough that he was involved in your close friend group and you had to see his face often, but he also genuinely enjoyed seeing you get so heated over the mere sight of him.

“For once, for once can he be working when we hang out or I don’t know… maybe just not be invited?” You groan, angrily looking out the window of Changkyun’s car with your arms firmly crossed.

“Look we can’t just not invite him, he’s still our friend. It’s not our fault neither of you can stand each other, you’re lucky either of you get invited to these things do you really think any of us want to deal with the never ending bickering from you two?” Changkyun shook his head, dreading the thought of all the arguing he’s going to have to deal with tonight.

“He starts it! You really expect me to just take his little digs at me?” You huff.

“He only does it because he knows for sure you will fight back; I’ve told you this how many times? Hell, he’s told you that himself yet you still give him the reaction he wants, if you just ignored him he’d stop” “I really doubt that” You mumble, staring at the road ahead. Changkyun never beats around the bush with you, but that is why he was your best friend, both as feisty and fiery as each other. It is probably a bad dynamic since you both just feed off each others intense vibes and don’t hold back with others who aren’t either of you, who often can’t handle such honesty and bluntness. Most times you love Kyun being honest with you, but times like this; when talking about the person who makes your blood boil more than anyone else, you really hated it. Maybe tonight you will take Kyun’s advice and ignore Kihyun, just to prove him wrong when Kihyun continues to terrorise you and he can finally get all the blame he deserves.

As soon as you got out of the car you could see your group of boys through the big window at the front of the restaurant, sitting on the table right next to the window as per usual. Thank god they were all talking and too preoccupied in looking at the menus arguing over what they were going to order to notice you and Kyun walking in. There is seriously only 1 whole brain cell in this goddamn group and it belongs to you. Without you they wouldn’t get anywhere. You hide behind Kyun as you enter, both so Kihyun won’t see you and pester you before you even get to the table and so you can see where he is sitting before you reach the table and plan how you will avoid him as much as you can. You and Kyun reach the table and stand there silent for at least 30 seconds before any of them notice you, they were really going at it between themselves. Sitting on the wall side was Minhyuk, Kihyun, Jooheon & Hyungwon. Facing the rest of the restaurant and their backs to you and Kyun right now was Shownu and Wonho, sitting on the side closest to the window with the two free seats for you and Kyun next to them at the end of the table. Finally, Hyungwon turns around from watching the other three boys argue next to him to see you and Kyun standing there, staring at them with the biggest look of disapproval on your faces. He smiles and nods, nobody else noticing you. Minhyuk, Kihyun & Jooheon were all arguing over what food they wanted to get and Shownu was asking them, practically begging them all to just settle on either one meal or one meat option each for the barbecue otherwise it would end up being too much money and not all of it would be eaten anyways. Wonho was just disassociating on his phone. Kyun clears his throat, still no response, so he just sighs and pulls out the seat next to Shownu, leaving you to sit on the end of the table across from Hyungwon. He knew you would appreciate that, wanting to be as far away from Kihyun as possible, but two people down from you on the other side was still too close. The other 3 boys on the other side all look up when they hear the chairs being pulled out, nod at you both and go back to their food issues.

“Look, you three need to shut up for a moment and we need to ask these two what they would like now. So you three need to settle your issues ASAP otherwise this will just end up like last time” Shownu demands, tone very clearly desperate. “I’m okay with anything, I just want food” you say, which earns a smirk and a loud nose exhale from Kihyun, whatever that was meant to mean you had no idea and you didn’t really care to know. You didn’t even look his way, focusing on the menu Shownu handed to Kyun.

“Same for me, as long as you get some kind of beef for the barbecue I don’t care. Also as long as you three stop arguing so I can eat quicker” Kyun says, handing the menu back to Shownu. The other three pout and huff, settling on a meal and a barbecue option amongst each other. You’re rather shocked Kihyun hasn’t made a single dig at you yet, this is a new record for him, but you put it down to him being more concerned about his empty stomach for the time being. Hopefully when the food arrives he’s too busy scoffing food down his throat to be bothering you.

As per usual, Wonho ended up being the barbecue dad as he put the first load of meat onto the barbecue the sound of the satisfying sizzle filling your ears and everyone was happily digging into the dishes. The last dish arrives and you gasp in excitement and try to quickly finish your current food so you can grab some of the new one before all the boys finish it first with their bottomless stomachs. “Woah, relax and stop acting like a pig. The food won’t go anywhere” Kihyun laughs, widening his eyes at you in a mocking way.

“Kihyun what the fuck? Mind your own business and back off, dude” Kyun snaps.

‘Ah, here we go’ you think to yourself. You feel that pang in your stomach, wanting so badly to snap back at him instantly but you remember the car ride and decide to stay quiet. For some reason what he said this time actually hurts you. Why? You’re not sure, you hate it, you feel weak. You feel like running to the bathroom to hide the hurt that you’re pretty sure is showing clearly on your face, especially since you usually snap back instantly. You ignore Kihyun, don’t even glance at him and just continue to grab yourself a nice amount of the new dish and place it into your little bowl, trying your best to eat it without looking too upset. A few seconds later, Wonho finishes cooking the beef and takes everyone’s bowls and gives them a fair amount of it before putting the next load of meat on.

“Are you okay?” Hyungwon asks you quietly, leaning across the table. “Yeah I’m fine, just really tired from all my classes today” You give him a soft smile and a nod, appreciative that he actually checked up you even though you hate that it’s clear you are upset.

“Ah okay, I was worried that you we- “

“How has everyone’s week been?” Minhyuk yells from his end of the table, largely exaggerating the loudness of the restaurant chatter and music.

“We’re all University students, how interesting could any of our weeks have been?” Jooheon replies, beef stuffed in his mouth. “Well I’m sorry I’m just trying to make fucking conversation since none of you have made an attempt to” Minhyuk snaps, gesturing his hands out to everyone around the table and then clasping them together.

“Jooheon are you trying to imply that you actually go to class and spend your time outside of class actually studying?” Wonho says, not even glancing up as he turns over all the meat. Everyone on the table cracks up laughing.

“Hey! I was not implying anything, even if when I don’t go to classes; which I do most of the time by the way, I just stay home which still isn’t interesting… and I do study!” Jooheon leans back against the wall, arms firmly crossed with a grumpy pout on his face.

“It’s okay Joo, I think staying home and watching Netflix… or studying and going to class like you apparently do, is a lot more interesting and entertaining than being one of those students that goes out all the time and constantly gets drunk, high and is basically brain-dead 24/7” You say, stuffing the meat in your mouth into your cheeks.

“You can’t really say that when you’ve never been to even ONE party since you’ve started at University, you wouldn’t have any idea of how it’s ‘not fun’ or what fun even is. You just go to class every day and study and then stay cooped up in your dorm every weekend like a complete loser,” Kihyun doesn’t even breathe once, “oh and please, don’t talk with your mouth full”. Minhyuk whacks the back of Kihyun’s head, looking at you with sorrow. You felt your blood pressure rising, wishing so badly you could split his chopsticks in half and shove them up his ass. However, you just sat there looking down at your now empty bowl trying to hide how red your face now was and your throat closing up, feeling like you were going to cry out of frustration. If he made one more mean comment you were certain you were going to snap, and by that you mean snapping those chopsticks in half and sticking them where the sun doesn’t shine; which is absolutely nowhere near Kihyun.

You guys had finished all the food and were now having a nice catch up, telling each other the funny happenings that had occurred within the last month and a bit that you hadn’t met up properly as a whole group. The conversation though, had drifted to Changkyun, Wonho & Minhyuk ganging up on Jooheon and telling you all stories about the embarrassing things Joo did in high school.

“I cannot believe you did that!! When you were Vice Captain?! In front of the entire school board?!” You screamed.

“Don’t forget that it was a whole school assembly, too! He really just whipped out a little impromptu ‘hip hop dance routine’ in front of the whole school and the school board, you should’ve seen the look of pure horror on the Vice Principal’s face. He got in so much trouble for that and almost got his position taken away” Minhyuk said with a shit-eating grin.

“You’re the one that promised me if I did that you’d pay for my lunch everyday for the rest of the semester, it’s your fault!” Joo whines.

“And I did didn’t I? So why are you complaining?” Minhyuk sasses. “BECAUSE YOU’RE SITTING HERE TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT AN EMBARRASSING THING I DID BUT IT WAS YOU WHO MADE ME DO IT MAKING ME LOOK LIKE I DID IT OUT OF MY OWN ACCORD!”

“Because it’s a funny story, and I didn’t force you to, you had the choice to say no”

“NO YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME A CHOICE STOP LY- “

“Okay enough you two children” Shownu interjects. If he didn’t stop them now this would continue for way too long, they’re worse than you and Kihyun.

“Oh my gosh wait, Wonho! What about that time you told Minhyuk you’d give him $50 if he licked the swing-set” Changkyun gasps with the sudden memory.

“Wow, yes! The chain handle part”, Wonho laughs “and he actually did it and ended up in the nurse’s office because he instantly got really sick and had to stay home for the rest of week!”. Everyone bursts into laughter.

“Hey I don’t regret a thing, that $50 was worth it. I bought some sick gym shoes with that money” Minhyuk smiles. You were in tears with laughter.

“Man I wish I knew you guys in high school, you seem like you were even funnier and dumber back then” You cry.

“Hey, me and Kyun weren’t and aren’t dumb it was and is just those two” Wonho acts offended. You really do wish you knew them back then; it would’ve definitely made your dull high school life a lot brighter. You’re grateful you know them now of course, they make your stressful, overwhelming University life a lot more bearable. You and Kyun were both Literature students, Minhyuk, Hyungwon & Shownu all Dance & Performance students and then Joo & Wonho were Music Production students, where they met Kihyun as he is a Music Performance student and they work together a lot. The boys that already knew each other from school brought along their friends that they met in class who didn’t have friends to hang out with yet, and then you all became a close nit group and all friends with each other separately… well, except for two of you.

“I don’t know Wonho, I’d say you’re also pretty dumb” You say slowly with a sneaky grin, “are we not going to address that very dumb, embarrassing thing you accidentally did in class no less than what, two weeks ago?”. He looks at you confused.

“Remember, Jooheon messaged the group chat instantly screaming out of secondhand embarrassment?” You push.

“Oh- OH GOD yeah we aren’t going to address it remember I asked specifically for nobody to ever talk about it again that’s why we haven’t spoke about it and won’t” Wonho blushes, “it was very traumatic for me and I removed it from my brain and now you’ve reminded me and now I’m going to cry myself to sleep tonight”.

“But you admit that you are pretty dumb, right? At least sometimes” You laugh.

“Are you serious? You’re straight making fun of him for something that he seems genuinely humiliated by and didn’t ever want to talk about again. That’s so rude why would you joke about something like that?” Kihyun snaps at you before Wonho can reply. You feel that pang in your stomach again, genuinely taken aback.

“Dude chill, I know she was just playing around. I was also joking, it’s not that deep” Wonho replies, glaring at Kihyun. You slam your hands on the table and stand up, staring at him like you’re about to stab him with the barbecue scissors. The rest of the boys stare at you in shock, expecting you to rip into him. Instead of doing that like you wanted to, you just turn around and walk out the door of the restaurant, quickly wiping away the tears that are falling out of your eyes.

You sat on the bench outside the restaurant, far away from the window where the boys sat so they couldn’t see you. Your elbows are propped up on your thighs, with with your face resting in your palms and you’re staring at the ground. Your tears are dried by this point but you know if you think too hard they will fall again; which your brain keeps trying to do but you refuse to let it, you will just think of nothing. Your phone keeps vibrating and you know its probably one of the boys - most likely Kyun, trying to text or call you but you really don’t want to talk to any of them right now. You’ll just get the bus or train home later. Suddenly, you feel someone’s hand on your back as you see them sit down next to you. It was Changkyun.

“Hey” He says quietly. You don’t reply.

“Just so you know, before you even got out the door we all let Kihyun have it. For real, none of us are okay with what he was doing tonight it was ridiculous and not okay at all” Kyun grabs your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. You reciprocate.

“He was a straight bully tonight; it wasn’t even just the typical little petty digs they were actually mean, especially since you weren’t fighting back. I’m sorry for saying that he only does it because you react, you should’ve defended yourself” He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand.

“I- I tried to but, for some reason I just didn’t… I couldn’t. I wanted to tear him to shreds but my body just wouldn’t follow through” You choked out, tears welling up in your eyes again.

“It’s okay, just know that none of us boys are okay with what he did tonight and I mean you saw us defending you when you were there. We’ve made sure he knows that he won’t ever be allowed to come out with us again if he’s going to pull that again” Kyun looks into your eyes, making sure you know that he’s serious. You smile up at him, feeling so cared for and loved as a tear falls from your eye. It was a happy tear. Kyun wipes it off your cheek with his free hand.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home” Kyun stands up in front of you and helps you up.

“Thank you, Kyun”, You say, looking up at him for a few seconds before wrapping your arms around his torso “I know we joke around a lot and fight, and I know you find affection gross but, I really do love you a lot and I’m so grateful for you” you silently cry into his chest. Thank god he’s wearing black.

“It’s okay, I love you too. Also I don’t find it gross, alright, just too much of it but at times like this it’s nice” He says. You giggle as he softly pokes your cheek, keeping his hand locked with yours as he walks you to his car.

Changkyun had actually convinced you to come to a party, you don’t know why he wanted you to go, but he did. All the boys were going to be there why did he need you there? He said it was just to get you out of the house so you can clear your mind and forget about your worries for a bit, but you weren’t convinced that was the only reason why, but it was all he would tell you when you would press for an answer. It’s not that you didn’t like parties - you did, it was more the people that were going to be there, doing drugs and all the guys that will try and get in your pants just for the sake of it rather than actually being interested in you in any way. Anyways, you decided to go for the reason he said, just to get yourself out of the house and you hadn’t had a good party in a while and a reason to get all dressed up (totally nothing to do with the reason that you knew Kihyun would be there and you wanted to prove to him that you can have a fun time). You planned your outfit in your head for days in advance, and you were so happy when it actually looked great on you and by some miracle your makeup cooperated with you and came out beautifully, too. You look hot, you’d 100% fuck yourself if you were someone else. You actually feel good about yourself and excited for this party, it really is a miracle. You weren’t going to let anything… or anyone ruin your night. You’re spritzing yourself with perfume when you here the beep of a car outside, you immediately know it’s Changkyun. You grab your bag and do one last look over of yourself in the mirror; taking a quick selfie or two, or three, and then quickly running out of the door while Changkyun beeps at you to hurry up. You run outside and while you’re trying to lock your door properly Jooheon starts beeping the car horn repeatedly, you flip him off as you watch him start laughing his ass off in the front seat. Once you lock your door you quickly walk to the back door, hearing Jooheon still laughing before you even open the door. Shownu gets out of the car so you can sit in the middle.

“You’re such a child! it really isn’t that funny” You frown, climbing into the middle seat.  Jooheon lets out a ‘hoo’ as he wipes a tear away. “I think it was hilarious” Jooheon breathes, relaxing back into the passenger seat.

“She’s right, it really wasn’t” Shownu agrees as he gets back in the seat next to you and shuts the door. Wonho and Changkyun both agree with you and Shownu. “Fuck you guys” Jooheon pouts. Changkyun turns up the radio and reverses out of your driveway. You were really excited for this party.

The music was blasting; you could feel every part of your body vibrate with the bass. It had been about 2 hours since you arrived and you were pretty tipsy, borderline drunk. You had lost sight of any of your friends, the boys, classmates or friends you made literally 5 minutes ago at this party. You’re lost in the music and the tingly, happy feeling that was overtaking your body, you’re dancing the night away, along with any worry you had about anything in your life prior to coming to this party. At least you were, until you feel someone tap you on your shoulder; which you ignored because you thought you were imagining it, and if it was real you wanted them to leave you alone because you were having fun. Unfortunately, it is real and they keep persisting so you turn around angrily. You immediately scrunch your face up in disgust. It’s Kihyun.

“I need to talk to you” He slurs, grabbing onto your shoulder for support as he almost trips onto you.

“No you don’t! Fuck off” You say in a matter-of-fact tone, immediately smack his hand off you. You storm off, Kihyun following behind you.

“Please! It’s important, please just let me do it I can’t wait until next month when I next see you to talk to you, please” He begs, yelling in your ear over the music. “Then don’t. Simple” You snap back. You walk fast, pushing through the crowd of people struggling to make it through them without tripping over, the effects of your last drink starting to push you past tipsy. You’re looking for even one of the boys or just anyone to help get Kihyun away from you, which is really hard in this state and with Kihyun hot on your trail trying to plead with you. You see Minhyuk watching a game of beer pong; cheering and being even more loud than usual. You quickly run up to him and pull on his sleeve.

“Minhyuk please help me”, you look at him with big puppy eyes “Kihyun keeps saying he needs to talk to me, he won’t leave me alone and is practically harassing me, please help”.

He looks down at you, then behind you to Kihyun, then back to you.

“Oh yeah, we all told him he should talk to you”, your face changes to one of utter confusion “you should listen to him, he wants to apologise because he genuinely feels horrible. You don’t have to accept it but I think just listening to him would be good for the both of you”. You look offended, how could the boys just do that to you? After Kihyun did that to you and made you feel like complete and utter shit? Why would you ever want to listen to him or talk to him again?

“You know that I’m always honest with you, I understand why you don’t want to talk to him or listen to him – I wouldn’t want to either if I were you, but I really think it would be good for both of you to talk out your differences and it would be better for all of us, too. As someone who loves drama, I really want the both of you to just talk shit out and at least be civil. You don’t have to forgive him but just listen to what he has to say, please” Minhyuk slurs, looking you dead in the eyes. The fact he was being so wise in this intoxicated was really saying something. You sighed, he was right. Even if you just ended up hating him more, maybe he was actually genuinely sorry and would stop being an asshole from now on. You may not forgive him, not for a while, but at least you could possibly work towards being… friends?? You turn to Kihyun, seeing him looking pretty pathetic looking at you with such pleading eyes. You take his hand and guide him through the crowd in attempt to find any kind of empty room further away from the pounding music. You doubted you would have any luck though.

Even a wardrobe would suffice but you were really struggling to find an empty room of some sort. If there wasn’t already someone passed out on the bed, throwing up in the bathroom there was a couple (or more) getting up to frisky business – and obviously you couldn’t ignore any of those situations to talk to Kihyun without disturbing what was going on in the room… or disturbing yourself with the latter. You go upstairs and most of the rooms are again, taken, but you finally come across one at the end of the hall that isn’t. You half sigh, half yell a ‘finally’ and drag him in the room, locking the door behind you. You’re so relieved to be able to finally let go of Kihyun’s hand, turning to stand in front of him with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Well?” You gesture for him to start; he just looks at you with a very vacant expression on his face and you sigh in annoyance.

“Are you going to tell me what you begged me to listen to you for? This is your only chance and I suggest you don’t waste it” You tap your foot, already getting impatient. He perks up like a little puppy, suddenly remembering what he was here for.

“Oh, right. I-uh, just wanted to apologise for the other night. I was a real asshole and there’s no excuse for the things I said and did, it wasn’t even banter or petty things like it usually is it was straight bullying and I feel horrible when I remember it. I don’t even know why I kept going after you didn’t react or respond the first time, but it doesn’t matter; point is, I’m sorry. I’m really, really, sorry” Kihyun rambles, slurring and struggling to find the right words.

“Okay. Are you happy now? That I listened to… that? Will you stop harassing me? Can I leave now?” You say barely even acknowledging his apology, you really did find it pathetic and couldn’t bare to be alone in a room with him any longer. You started to walk towards the door but Kihyun stopped you.

“Are you kidding me?” He questions angrily, grabbing your arm to stop you from leaving. You frown and smack his hand off you.

“What?” You snap.

“That’s it? You can’t even acknowledge anything I said?” He says, seeming actually hurt. “Well I for sure am not forgiving you, what else do you want me to do, Kihyun? Because I really can’t even stand being alone in this room with you right now” You try to push past him but he won’t budge.

“You don’t have to forgive me; I just want to know you actually listened to me” He says surprisingly calm. He looks like a kicked puppy and you feel so fucking strange seeing Kihyun look anything but cocky and angry for once in his life.

“You’re being ridiculous, Kihyun. Of course I listened to you why would I bring you all this way, struggle to find a room for us to use for 5 seconds to not listen to you at all? Especially if seeing you so desperate to apologise to me brings me such joy?” You say it as if you were explaining it to a child, dragging out that last sentence especially longer. You see Kihyun’s expression changing to the usual one of anger, god you’re getting so much enjoyment of having the higher ground right now.

“Not to mention”, you walk closer to his face “that ‘apology’ was nothing short of just, plain pathetic”. Using your finger to put the quotations around ‘apology’, you have the biggest smirk on your face. Kihyun runs his tongue over his cheeks as he steps closer to you, inches from your face. You don’t cower one bit, in fact you look him dead in the eyes as you chuckle.

“Pathetic?” He questions, looking down at you.

“Hopeless, pitiful, miserable, plain fucking shit or whatever you wish to call it, really” You reply, not even trying to hide your enjoyment. You barely finished your sentence before Kihyun turns you around and slams you into the wall, arms either side of your head. He did it so quickly you’re actually shocked, especially since he’s drunk and his reaction times are meant to be slower.

“You’re really, really fucking pushing it” He whispers, spacing out his words to make sure you’re perfectly understanding how angry you’re making him. “And? As if you’re going to do anything about it” You scoff, arms crossed over your chest. You refuse to show any sign of intimidation, though you actually are quite shocked right now. His gaze doesn’t move from your face, he’s breathing heavily and you hate this tension surrounding you both right now, its silent apart from the screaming of everyone outside and the muffle of the music downstairs. You see Kihyun’s gaze fall to your lips for a second, so brief that you wondered if it was even real or if you were making it up.

“See, I knew it. You’re not going to do anything because you’re just as pathetic as that apology wa-” Before you can even finish your sentence Kihyun slams his lips into yours. Your eyes are wide, part of you wants to push him away but an even bigger part of you refuses to back down. You slide on your hands to his hair, entangling your fingers in it and pulling harshly, he moans in response. He deepens the kiss, a hand on your neck and a hand on your back, pulling you closer to him. You slide your tongue against his lip and he responds by sliding his tongue in your mouth, refusing to let you take even the tiniest bit of dominance. You bite and pull on his lip as you pull away, breathless. You lean your head back on the wall as he starts leaving kisses along your jaw, moving down to your neck. Your hand is still pulling on his hair and your other one is latched onto his shoulder. His hands move down to your ass, squeezing it.

“You better not leave hickeys, we’re not high schoolers” You whisper. He lets out a scoff as he moves his hands down to your thighs, signalling for you to wrap your legs around him. You do so, kissing down his neck to his collarbones as he moves you to the bed. He throws you onto the sheets, you open your legs as he slides his body in between them. You start making out, even more heated than before, your lips and tongues moving in sync. Kihyun moves his hand up to your hair, pulling on it as you whine and press your hips up into his, he grinds down against you in response. You slide your hands under his shirt, digging your nails into his chest and he groans as he continues grinding into you harshly. His hand that is on your hip slides down your thigh, moving it up and around his back as he pulls away from the kiss, breathless and he sits up to slide his shirt off. For fucks sake, why does he have to be so attractive yet so annoying.

“Are you going to actually do anything or just continue to play around?” You pant, staring up at him. Before he can answer or do anything in response you flip the both of you over so you’re now straddling him. You roll your hips over his crotch a few times, feeling his bulge very prominently through your panties under your skirt. He tries to flip you back over but you put your hands on his shoulders and give him a look that makes him fall back and give up. You slide your shirt off, revealing your cute, lacy bra that you always wore to these kind of occasions in case you did get some action and would look at that? This time you actually did. You give Kihyun a passionate kiss on the lips and pull away quickly to start kissing down his jaw agonisingly slow, he accidentally lets a little whimper slip as his eyes flutter shut which makes you giggle softly, he’s actually cute when he’s needy. You then move to his neck, then his chest, then his stomach all the way down past his belly button and stop at the hem of his jeans. He snaps his eyes open as he looks down at you with dark eyes and you just bite your lip and give a bratty smile in response. You don’t break eye contact as you undo his belt, pulling it out and throwing it on the ground to then unzip his jeans and yank them off. You walk your fingers up his thigh, stopping just before you reach his bulge.

“Stop teasing or I swear to go-” He growls, you started palming him through his boxers before he even finished his sentence and he ended it in the cutest whine you’ve ever heard. You smile as his hips snap up instinctively at even the tiniest bit of friction as you slowly palm him, curling your fingers to fit around his shaft. He has one hand gripping the sheets and another around the headboard, he’s trying to keep his hips still but is really struggling to not roll against your hand. You decide he’s had enough teasing for now and stop palming him to pull down the waistband of his boxers, pulling them all the way off. His dick snaps up as soon as the boxers are off it, hitting his stomach and he grunts at the sudden contact of air against his throbbing cock. Once his boxers are discarded, you wrap your hand around the bottom of his shaft and start to pump him, flicking your wrist as your hand moves up and down. Kihyun immediately snaps his hips up, breathing out a ‘fuck’ as he watches you through half close eyelids. You hate to admit it but, he looks so pretty right now. Precum is already starting to leak out of his tip, so you bring your mouth to it and slowly lick it off with the tip of your tongue. Kihyun throws his head back with a choked moan as you slowly circle your tongue around his tip, you place your lips around and suck harshly, never stopping the movement of your hand. His hand gripping the sheet starts feeling around for your head, gripping onto your hair and trying to push you down so you’d take him in your mouth.

“Keep being pushy and I will stop everything and walk out of this room” You snap. He immediately loosens his grip on your hair and you go back to sucking on his tip again, flattening your tongue as you slowly take him in your mouth. Kihyun grunts and bites his lip hard, trying to stop any kind of moan from slipping out. He looks down at you as you’re bobbing your head up and down, bringing your hand up to meet your lips as you pump him at the same time.

“You know, if you weren’t so annoying I’d say you look so hot right now” He says, struggling to speak without it coming out in a moan. You roll your eyes, he was very dumb to say that because you are literally sucking his dick and could bite it off at any moment… but he also implied that you look hot, which sent tingles right down to your clit. You removed your hands and moved your mouth all the way down to the bottom of his shaft, almost gagging as he hit the back of your throat. His grip on your hair tightens again and he guides your head up and down, your grip hard on his thighs as you try not to gag. You’ve hollowed out your cheeks and flattened out your tongue as you suck along with your head movements.

“I’m so close” Kihyun breathes, the muscles in his lower stomach visibly tightening. You remove his hand from your hair so that you can fasten your pace, bringing your hand back in to pump him again. He throws his back, cursing repeatedly and you feel his dick twitch in your mouth. Right as he reaches the peak of his high you take him out of your mouth and remove your hand, sitting up on his leg to watch and relish in his agony.  His head snaps up as his face darkens immediately.

“Oh baby, you are going to regret that” Kihyun coos, the way ‘baby’ rolls off his tongue unsettles you and causes a very hot feeling in your core.

“Don’t call me baby” You command, returning his dark gaze. He sits up and pushes you down on the bed, your head hanging off the end of the bed. He reaches his hand down under your skirt, pressing his index finger hard along your slit; applying the most pressure where your clit is. You bite your lip, whining a little.

“Wow you’re already so wet and I’ve done absolutely nothing” He says cockily. “If you’re really going to be this cocky already you better be bloody good” You snap, rolling your hips against his finger. He chuckles and nods, fair argument. He starts to rub your clit through your panties, making you gasp at the sudden movement. He uses his other hand to unclasp your bra and slide it off your arms, he throws it to the side and immediately starts to kiss and suck on your tits. You run your hands through his hair as he assaults your chest and clit at the same time. He moves your panties to the side and slides his index and middle finger into your hole, moving his thumb to your clit. You let a loud moan slip, his fingers curling right up to your sweet spot. After he’s pleased with the pretty bruises he’s left all over your tits he slides his lips down your body until he’s at the hem of your skirt. You lift your head up to watch him, he smirks up at you as he slides his other hand under your skirt to the hem of your panties, pulling them down your thighs slowly. Knowing what was about to come gave you such a restless rush in your core. You kicked your legs, ushering him to hurry up and he smiles at your desperateness, he pulls them off one leg and holds your other leg up and slides them off. Once discarded, he bends your leg over his shoulder and he lays back down on his stomach, lining his head in between your legs. He starts to kiss up your thigh, stopping for a split second as he reaches your heat before lifting your skirt over his head. He then uses his fingers to part your lips as he licks a stripe up your slit. You arch your back, both hands moving to his hair immediately. He doesn’t waste a second before he starts kissing and sucking on your clit and his fingers return to pumping themselves in and out of your entrance. All the pleasure from when he was only fingering you before returns and intensifies, not having to catch back up to where it was before. At this rate you will be coming within seconds. You pull on Kihyun’s hair as you push your hips down to his face, begging for more. He flicks his tongue against your clit rapidly as he curls his two fingers up into your g-spot at the same pace, making you scream. You have to swing one hand over to the sheets to grip tightly otherwise you were afraid you’d explode. You hated that you were about to come this quick, but you just put it down to waiting for your turn for what felt like hours. You don’t tell Kihyun that you’re close because you already know what he will do, so you just don’t say anything and hope you come before he can stop. He starts sucking on your clit and feels it throb as your walls tighten around his fingers, he decides to let you build it up even more before he stops. You start panting and whining, curses falling from your lips as your eyes squeeze shut. He feels your thighs and muscles tightening around his head and once your hips start to rise more against his face, he stops and pulls his head back out from under your skirt. You don’t realise for a few seconds but once you do you immediately sit up and try to kick him, but he just smirks and slides you over to the top of the bed on the pillows. He wastes no time in pumping himself and lining himself up in front of your entrance, you look down, wide eyed. You didn’t expect this, but you hate how much you want it. He slides himself in with a groan, and you wrap your legs around his hips. He snaps his hips into yours and leans his head into your shoulder as he starts thrusting. The thrusts are deep and at a moderate pace, not wanting to go too fast just yet. Your high already starts building up again, your nails are digging into his shoulders, but with the sweat and movement of his body with his thrusts they start slipping and leaving deep scratch marks down his back. He hissed at the stinging sensation of the scratches coming into contact with the air and saltiness of his sweat, he loved the light pain of it. You couldn’t even moan as you felt like you were about to burst, just whine and whimper, trying to grab back onto Kihyun’s shoulder when your nails reach the end of his back. You tighten your thighs around his hips as your walls tighten around his cock thrusting into your g-spot. Your back arches as you start panting and whimpering, Kihyun holding onto the headboard to be able to reach you deeper. He has his forehead against yours, eyes shut tight as he tries so hard to maintain. You finally come undone as your walls throb around him, pushing him closer to his high. You’re moaning what sounds like his name amongst other things, which is secretly driving him crazy in the best way possible. While you’re still in the middle of your orgasm Kihyun flips you over, shoving your face into the pillow which catches you by surprise. He pulls your hips up with him as he gets up on his knees and starts to thrust faster, hitting you from a new angle but still so deep and so sweet. Your walls are still clenched tightly around him, not coming down from your high but rather building a new one from where you were just at which you really aren’t sure if you can handle. Kihyun licks his fingers and starts to rub your clit with his four fingers, sending unfathomable pleasure straight to the deepest part of your core. You push your hips back against him as you shove your face deeper into the pillow and grip the pillow until your knuckles turn white, about to cry from the pleasure you’re feeling everywhere. You’re sure you’re about to explode for real this time. You let out a muffled scream into the pillow as you come again, your body shakes as it rocks through your whole body. Kihyun’s thrust become sloppy as he feels your walls throbbing against him and sees your juices dripping down your thighs and it pushes him over the edge, he rubs your clit a few more times as he reaches the peak of his high. Before he ejaculates he flips you back over so he can come all over your chest as he pumps himself empty. He’s letting out low moans as he looks down at your face, loving how fucked out and flushed you look. Once he’s all empty he falls back onto the bed next to you.

“I think I win that one” He sighs, breathless. You just turn to look at him, your expression unreadable. You struggle to get yourself up, going blind as you try not to fall on the floor after getting up and hold onto the bed for balance. You walk to the bathroom to clean yourself up, using toilet paper to clean up your chest, noticing all the hickeys but not complaining about them. You brush your hair out neatly with your fingers and wipe off your smudged lipstick and use another bit of toilet paper to dab some sweat off your forehead and face. Once you’re satisfied you walk back out into the bedroom to see Kihyun hasn’t moved, you start to get dressed back into your clothes. Kihyun watches you, not saying anything and you’re glad he isn’t. As you walk past him to leave the room he stops you and grabs your wrist.

“I really am sorry, though” He smiles softly. You snap your hand away harshly.

“You’re going to have to do better than that”

#mnstx #monsta x #mx #monsta x scenarios #mx scenarios #monsta x smut #mx smut #monsta x imagines #mx imagines #monsta x angst #mx angst #kihyun smut #kihyun scenarios #kihyun imagines #kihyun #yoo kihyun #shownu #wonho #minhyuk #hyungwon #jooheon #im #hyunwoo #son hyunwoo #lee wonho #hoseok #lee hoseok #shin wonho #shin hoseok #lee minhyuk

[annavolovodov]

ya girl saw the downton movie and has some Thoughts

if you followed me at all from 2011-2015 then you'll know i am firmly Team Downstairs and did not want this movie to happen, just so you all know what position i'm coming from here.

everything below is gonna be spoilery af. if you haven't seen it yet and want info just hmu. if you have seen it and want to talk about it please message me bc i’m always up for chatting about Downton.

okay but the title sequence with the music building and cresting as we come up over the hills and get our first shot of downton... goosebumps. tbh i don't know shit about film making but i can't fault the technical aspects (costumes, music, cinematography). the impact of the increased budget was felt from the very first second.

for the plot i’m gonna split things by character to make it easier. i’ll probably go to see it again and maybe after that i’ll have some deeper Thoughts but i missed being able to liveblog during the film so enjoy my rambling first reactions.

upstairs peeps

everything with violet was iconic. i'm glad that they didn't neglect her relationship with isobel and ofc maggie and imelda played fantastically off each other. pretty much everyone has already highlighted the scene with violet and mary at the end and it tied things up perfectly between them. violet and mary are so so similar and violet has been pushing for her to inherit since before S1. the movie showed us that mary is basically running the estate even if she doesn't get the the title and i can totally see why violet is confident in the future of downton now. that being said, i don't think violet will actually die. maggie has been talking about leaving since 2012 and fellowes obviously put this in as a get-out clause for her should she want to go, but i reckon they’ll convince her to do more. if carson's palsy can be mysteriously cured, so can violet's conveniently vague illness.

i already knew that robert and cora weren't gonna be in it much, but i wish we could've seen cora finding out what was happening with edith and helping her out. it wouldn't surprise me if there was a deleted scene there cause that whole storyline felt a little disjointed. i completely forgot that cora knew about the pregnancy and was so confused at how the queen foud out about it all. i don't think we got anything in robert and cora's bedroom, or anything with cora/baxter and robert/bates, which would've also been very welcome but i guess they can only fit in so much.

onto mary: this may be an unpopular opinion but god i miss her long hair. yeah i know it wasn't the style of the time but her wig in this one was tragic and they need to fix it. i absolutely love that t*lbot didn't exist for a solid 95% of this movie and mary got her rightful place ruling downton. i wouldn't say i’m the biggest mary fan but her arc felt like one of the more satisfying ones of the movie imo.

as someone who has been firmly #teamedith from day one i am delighted to see my girl happy and successful. literally all her outfits were A+ and not to be gay on main but those scenes of her in her nightclothes getting ready for bed gave me my rights. i’m sad that she seems like she's either given up her magazine or has less of a role in it now based on what they said outside???? she did seem unsatisfied with aspects of her position so hopefully she'll go back to doing some writing and publishing cause that was a good fit for her, and if edith and bertie are “modern” enough to travel without servants surely edith moving away from traditional grand lady duties and back to her magazine that wouldn't be an issue. 

the mention of sybil being gone seven years? yeah. thanks for the pain. tom accidentally saving the monarchy on no less than two occasions is the ultimate "congratulations you played yourself" moment but the fact he thought the army had sent someone to check up on him is the level of republican i'm trying to be on. i'm a bit ehhhh on his relationship with lucy, mainly cause i'd rather the screentime given to the newbies had went to established characters. but like sybil/tom was a wholeass epic romantic slowburn spanning several years through a war and across class divisions n shit and meanwhile lucy/tom have known each other for forty eight hours and had three conversations in a hallway so like obviously that’s just gonna pale in comparison????? like it just is???? i guess i don't hate it but it just was a bit unnecessary and the time coulda been spent on better things.

isobel didn't have all that much to do on her own but i appreciated her scenes with violet and i love that she was the one to figure out that lucy was lady whatever's daughter. penelope wilton's facial expressions during some of the exchanges with violet were great. i see lord merton has also undergone a miraculous recovery from his apparently serious anaemia but he also didn't appear much which was a big win for me!

team downstairs aka the ones i turned up to see

as a downstairs supremacist who has watched the screentime distribution in previous fifty two eps of the show, it’s fair to say i had low expectations going in. i expected a grand total of 10 minutes for the servants combined and i think that's why i was unexpectedly happy with what we got. ideally we would've ditched the subplots involving the personal lives of the royals and all the stuff w imelda staunton and her maid but oh well it could’ve been worse and i'll take any breadcrumbs i can get. anyway i'm eagerly awaiting the team downstairs cut of the film one of yall will hopefully make when the dvd comes out. the only part that was far, FAR too upstairs heavy for me was the last sequence of the film after the royals left and i think we would've benefitted from rounding things off with team downstairs after the ball.

so i guess retirement magically cured the palsy carson had, but i guess after matthew’s miraculous recovery anything can happen at downton when it comes to health. Fellowes is getting a free pass for retconning this one cause i cba with more death/loss. mary going to carson for help and him immediately coming to her aid was very sweet. kinda wish we'd find out what he was up to post-Downton (except for his gardening) tho.

i was expected zero carson/hughes content in this movie and yet !!!! and yet!!!!!! we were somewhat well-fed. like carson (incorrectly) thinking he can control the other servants and mrs hughes' "oh that went well charlie, start as you mean to go on" hdjksjs i love them. and the lil scene in their cottage ugh. also we got more of them using their first names and yeah i guess that makes sense given they've been married for a while now but as i said, i had low expectations.

mrs hughes is still like the best person ever but wbk. her vs. the royal housekeeper = iconic. i kinda felt bad for royal whatsherface in some ways because she clearly didn't know who she was up against THE elsie hughes who has vanquished much scarier foes in her time. the other servants were never gonna win that battle.

the 0.5 seconds of baby bates *chef's kiss* perfection. god i am slightly bitter it was only 0.5 seconds given the fuckin multiseason journey leading up to his birth. tbh we should've ditched everything involving the personal lives of the rando new characters and let baby bates have some of that time but fellowes loves upstairs too much to let that happen. the small interaction was adorable though and i'm glad the mention of his name was subtle enough that we can retcon it cause i truly believe anna and bates would've came up with a more creative choice than that. genuinely i'm so curious about their whole living situation and how they cope with a smol child while working full time but i doubt fellowes even considered that so y’know. what can we do. i enjoyed the breadcrumbs but i wanted more.

i did go into this film with the mindset of "something awful will probably happen to anna or bates," cause that's what usually happens in these things but plot twist!!!! we saw them smile on multiple occassions!!!! what a nice change for us all! i swear every time anna bates smiles an angel gains their wings. her scenes with mary were good and i'm happy their friendship made it into the film. you know what else i was happy to see? the EXTREMELY UNDERRATED brotp between anna and baxter. there was a couple of moments with them standing next to each other or talking to each other and it warmed my heart. like yass two of my fave people are friends. it's a big win for me. 

i'm sure i read something about brendan being involved in another project which meant he couldn't film too much (i'm curious to whether this impacted the lack of baby bates scenes?) and while it's true that bates didn't have a ton of scenes, i didn't feel like he was absent which was good.

thomas had the best storyline imo. i don't blame him for being angry that mary brought in carson and it was actually very iconic of him to go off in the library like that. i found it hilarious that while everyone else was panicking at downton he went off on gay adventures. i really wish we'd gotten this "thomas makes a gay friend then discovers the village's underground gay scene THEN gets a boyfriend" in the show cause that would've been SO MUCH BETTER than some of the other stuff that got stretched out across the last couple series (like the love quadrangle with daisy/ivy/alfred/jimmy). like, imagine thomas’ movie plot as a series-long arc. the impact. i liked the guy that was his maybe-boyfriend and i hope any continuation keeps that relationship going.

mrs p and daisy continue to be the mother-daughter duo of the century. i thought both of them were supposed to be moving to the farm post-S6 but i suppose that would've meant they wouldn't be in the film hence why it didn't come to fruition. i guess they could all move once daisy and andy get married. mrs patmore didn't get a great deal to do but i still feel like i saw her a fair amount. comrade daisy was awesome and is definitely me when i see any monarchy-related stuff. somewhere over the last few seasons she's developed into one of the most interesting characters in downton and we don't talk about that enough. andy trashing the boiler was immature af but at the same time i feel like it completely makes sense for daisy to take that as a compliment. it’s just such a daisy thing to do?????

now, there is one thing i kinda fucked up here. while i went into the film with low expectations for everyone else, i fully expected baxley to be A Thing because how could i not and boy did i come out looking like boo boo the fool. i guess baxter and molesley have continued the tradition of Agonisingly Long Downstairs Slowburns which would be okay if we were still getting one season per year but is quite frankly rude when we're on rationed content like this. the first half of the film i thought it was gonna be revealed that they were together or something but then that scene at the end implied they're dancing around each other and my god is it frustrating. i would give so much to trade tom and lucy's romantic subplot for a baxter/molesley one but once again i know that's an unrealistic dream.

definitely not enough baxter in general but that one shot of her, anna and mrs hughes standing in the same frame was worth the price of my cinema ticket. still love molesley even tho he's a monarchist.

in terms of the overall downstairs stuff, i'm euphoric at seeing all these people interact with each other again. as we all know, found family is the best trope and since the servants are literally the epitome of that every moment focussed on them is like chicken soup for my weary soul. was the revolution against the royal servants realistic? no. was it realistic for the two people who came up with most of the plot to be the ones who went to jail for doing literally nothing wrong and would therefore want to avoid stuff that could get them in trouble with an all-powerful family? also no! however, seeing downstairs all working together for a common goal is content that appeals directly to me and i am thankful.

shoutout to the last scene which is the best way the movie could've ended it for me. use of first names AND walking home together? thank u fellowes.

tldr; team downstairs fan who was strongly anti-movie, went in with low expectations, was pleasantly surprised.  there are a shit ton of things i’d change but i just really loved seeing these characters who all mean so much to me again. obviously the only reason this film happened was for financial reasons rather than a desire to continue the storyline (cause the finale tied things up perfectly imo) but i wish they'd done a two-part miniseries instead to ensure everyone gets some screentime. two ninety minute specials every few years would work much better if everyone wants to keep downton going but i guess that doesn't bring the cash in like a movie does.

#downton abbey #downton abbey the movie #downton spoilers #downton abbey spoilers #downton abbey the movie spoilers #da spoilers #ok that's every spoiler tag i can think of no one has any reason to complain #robert crawley #edith crawley #charles carson #phyllis baxter #mary crawley #joseph molesley #john bates #violet crawley #cora crawley #anna bates #daisy mason #beryl patmore #thomas barrow #elsie hughes #isobel crawley #andy parker #is it just me that found it so weird to hear mary edith and isobel called by their married names? #like nah they are crawleys and they always will be

[incarnateirony]

Optimism, Nihilism, Absence, Realism.

Alright, so I’ve got time for some real talk here.

By the title you’re probably expecting a meta, but that’s not really what this is. It’s time for a rare post laced with enough negativity to break my mold, but more congealing thoughts I’ve been banging on about in the background since I came to tumblr into a set of realities on my thoughts on the show at large.

Before this begins, this is absolutely not an invitation to come to my wall and start crowing and screeching about your ship, your characters, bagging on the authors or anything else. If you can understand the difference between constructive conversation, and prim word laced unbridled and pointless cynicism and complaining, you’re welcome to engage, but don’t mildew up this post.

But it’s about time we talk about the elephant in the room with the show. And despite this fandom’s gong banging, it isn’t Andrew Dabb. It isn’t MuH dEStiEl. It isn’t muh poor baby (fave char)

It’s SingerBuckLeming.

And I mean, in a way that’s obvious, and I really don’t think everybody has really, truly, wrapped their heads around it because they’ll still come yelling about Dabb whenever anything goes wrong.

But Dabb isn’t the one that’s been obsessed with a psycho dark godbaby story; Dabb’s the one that tried to at least craft it into something fruitful for TFW and subvert it into something more than burning bibles -- it’s SingerBuckLeming trying to relive the Lois and Clark fantasy they were denied.

It’s not Dabb that decided to hard push the AUverse story and all its attached splendors. The idea started as a one-off intro idea for Wayward, but it had to be pushed off a year, and Leming admitted to snaring the idea and, summarily, attaching it to their evil godbaby and making it their plot point.

It’s not Dabb that has an honest to god boner for Mark P and can’t shut his mouth up about him, that’s Eugenie too. It’s not Dabb that obsesses over half crocked characters like Asmodeus and Donatello. It’s not Dabb addicted to big shiny CGI and super saiyan powerups.

You’ll notice how many of these ideas are enmeshed into one giant ball of fuckery that, somewhere along the way, Dabb has tried to groom into having some sort of substance but there’s a very clear line going on here.

“How does this relate to my ship/my favorite character reeee”, why? Because with the amount of weight being tossed around via advantageous nepotism and a different core cluster in the author room quite clearly on a different creative page than everybody else, guess what -- everybody else gets railroaded.

And at times, yes, some presentations are becoming stressed and stretched. They only way to even bring any sort of emotion to the content is by retreading or exaggerating emotional roads, especially at the end of seasons. A season starts strong, and poetic, and then somewhere around or right after episode 14 everything starts fucking falling apart, often with one or two disjointed episodes in advance but strong character driven arcs. Traction and motion are lost. Poetry starts falling into pieces. Superpowers and over the top manpain become the leading thing.

This happens every year, and this year is more vivid than last. I do remind people that the last time we had SingerBuckLeming throwing their weight around on decisions so hard they double-directed-and-wrote an episode was Dark Dynasty, which the rest of the author room was uncomfortable with, even argued about, even lost author heads in the aftermath of. Guess what - we just got our second episode like that. The attempt to work into this weight-throwing by the rest of an author room tends to turn into a lack of cohesive storytelling. S10 turned into a rapid degredation into a benny hill chase for a book. This year - well, shrug.

That’s not to say I agree with every piss and moan about characters being “OOC” as often, in this fandom, the fandom’s idea of “OOC” ends at “things I don’t personally like”. There are differences between OOC and just not really... belonging in the moment. Because they’re often things the character has in their range of potential action, but whether or not the story is cohesively meshed in a way that’s worth a damn is a WHOLE other topic.

And this has just gotten worse. As the writing room gets newer and younger and SingerBuckLeming age older and older -- some of you may have remembered my panic attack realizing BuckLeming were being seated in position to become the next showrunners and Bobo had been bumped back. At the time, even meta bloggers I trust held different opinions that, frankly, I considered daydreamy “Oh don’t worry BuckLeming only handle this but all of the emotional stuff goes through Dabb co” but no, once BuckLeming get their hands in enough of that, the rest ends up on a railroaded crash course everybody is trying to write around to deliver as better than a doggie doo bag.

And I think, honestly, J2M know that. I’m sure a huge amount of their decision was indeed about family time, but the real question is, looking at this show that SingerBuckLeming have been aggressively railroading off a damn cliff while everybody tries to compensate, is it really WORTH negotiating more family time, do they really WANT to wait for it to crash out, do they really WANT to let Eugenie Leming run the show out of gas in the middle of a desert with hew new, bestest idea once Dabb inevitably leaves and she and her baes get full reign to make the endless Lucifer clone fleet and their godbaby powers all going super saiyan? Is that what they want their legacy to be, or would they rather go home, and be with their family instead of propping this up as it continues to veer to the left?

I keep praying SBL disappear for the final season, kinda like Singer buggered off in S11. And it’s kinda sad, because I do recognize that without Singer we wouldn’t have the show at all but somewhere along the way, he lost his nut, he lost his directing skills, he lost common sense and he let his seniority get to his head, probably in tandem with bringing his wife back in and getting to be a power unit which is just WOEFULLY unadvised to be honest.

This is so far beyond how anyone’s ship or favorite character is treated. It’s about the internal war in a writing room that’s as clear as plain day that’s causing a deterioration of the show that Dabb has DESPERATELY been trying to curtail into SOMETHING of note only to catch shit from people who can’t do a little bit of common denominator searching into events even before his showrunning time that just keep getting louder.

Right now I’m at a point where I’m just begging for cohesion and emotional worth from the final season. For something that BuckLeming aren’t just throwing off the cliff like a sacrifice to their new, bigger, dumber idea once S14′s Jack Course reaches its cap. And honestly, I’d hope that’s everyone’s primary concern rather than circular bitching about whatever element they’re hyper fixated on because this is an issue that spreads well and far beyond whatever singularity you choose to scream about. And most people just blind sweep in rage at the first name that’s easy to pick out that they feel is responsible. But this has been going on. FOR YEARS. It’s just getting louder.

I try to not be negative about the show in general. I do appreciate Dabb, Berens, Yockey, Merecuda, and to some extent Perez (though I still hold he’s the least artistic of that bunch.) I’m still in love with Sgriccia and Wright and Showalter. I still love this crew. But I’ve never been shy about pointing out BuckLeming problems and at this point, it’s just THE problem, to whence nobody is even realizing where they need to set their sights and complaints at. Everything else is an emotional or continuum casualty in their fuck offs to the new shiny idea. Or, in cases of the Lois & Clark godbaby, their old AF tarnished idea.

Some people may remember me saying that without Dabb converting Jack into being a TFW mirror for catharsis, Jack’s only individual arc is that of a villain, and here we are swinging around full force with BuckLeming sinking in, waiting to see how Dabb may subvert that in the final episode. 

“I’m losing faith in Destiel” “I’m mad about Sam/Dean/Cas” “This plot is dumb” ultimately all fall down into the same goddamn railroading that habitually, like clockwork, louder each year, fucks up the end of a season and I just want them to disappear before the final season, but I doubt I’m going to get that. Maybe, just maybe, they can be staved knowing they won’t need the new ultimate escalation to carry on the show yet-again. Fingers and toes and arms crossed. 

That said, this vivid repeat of S10 author room shift should also, hopefully, give at least some potential hope to meta authors who at least remember that S11 was recoverable and was in fact recovered, and also had final season plans afoot. It was on the table, at least, in thought in early concept, just not without the true bang announcement to promise it through. So I’m going to hold out some hope that this is going to shape up fine in the end.

But don’t expect me to humor your bitter bitching about your ship or favorite character of choice. You wanna bitch about the strokes Singer seems to have had that have stripped his directorial gifts, or Eugenie’s obsession with SSJ archangels and Mark P, by all means. They’re major culprits in everything else being flattened on the way with an author room y’all are bitching at trying to make it at least vaguely cohesive.

I’m a natural optimist experiencing distinct nihilism at the absence of any sort of respect for the show or J2M going on with SBL right now, and as ever a realist looking at it in the frame of what’s going on beyond our surface level issues, and what I can hope to maintain to roll back around to the optimism part. Ouroboros. Hopefully ending at the start of the journey and not to loop back through the nihilism by next season.

Can they just retire? Please?

Dump Mark P. Dump Donatello. Hell, dump Jack at this point with as much as they’ve fucked that off again. Dump the AU. Dump the Drama Coffin. Dump the instaboop angels. Just dump all of their dumb ideas and let the final season roll out without the resulting tire fire of all of their ideas and suddenly, the show is infinitely cleaner. Don’t think this is all their bullshit? Literally follow their episode impact in reverse the last few years before you come at me. It’s literally all their bullshit.

I really don’t give a shit about fandom drama around Mark P’s opinions. I get it, but I don’t care. What I care about is his unwillingness to look at his character and refuse a contract for any sort of integrity, doing literally anything to pull a goddamn paycheck out of milking this show. His character, formerly one of the most inspiring renditions of an overshadowing idea of good and evil and biblical scale, has turned into a toddler throwing tantrums on the floor of mcdonalds, begged for redemption that underscores the entire point of the hero’s journey, splattered in remnants of Hallucifer that wasn’t even the original character, and just won’t go away.

And antis can say what they want about, say, Misha or Castiel, but his character at least has a solid direction, and growth, and a real hero’s journey. It’s not just vomit splatter on the wall of whatever he can be niched into like Not!Lucifer. Mark S at least had the dignity to leave when he saw shit degrading for his character.

Oh yeah a lot of that was BuckLeming too. The plotholes in Crowley’s story he called out were BuckLeming, who summarily pitched Rowena. And I love Rowena and Ruthie and wouldn’t undo it for the world but GODDAMN am I glad Yockey basically adopted her. She was turned into something past their basic dumb ideas and, as of yet, BuckLeming has yet to unravel that like they’re proactively doing with Jack after Dabb and co put so much effort into him.

Like literally the fandom’s collective bitchfits have a very common denominator and nobody’s willing to suss out why.

SingerBuckLeming seem to have had a collective stroke and still think they’re creating for Lois & Clark in the 70s and not Supernatural as made manifest into absurdity by 13.23; and several people like Mark Pellegrino refuse to have the basic decency to say, you know what, pass. I had my show here, it’s been good. They feed it. But it still falls back to SingerBuckLeming in the end at the heart of it. 

Not enough for you? Still think it has nothing to do with J2M or Mark Sheppard’s choices? Don’t even just listen to the scalding tea, look at the post-engagement between Jensen and Mark S.

They need to go away.

#supernatural #negativity #realism #buckleming #singer

[johnnys-so]

I recall you saying you don't know Day6 well enough for an analysis, but what about now? If you can, we'd love one. Thank you!

HEYOOO! 

Umm a lot hasn’t changed on that front but I feel like the distance might be a good thing so I’m going to attach some small mini-analysis after the cut.

sungjin

Bob is literally the most dad friend ever and I think he really takes the cake (though GOT7′s JB comes a close second). He looks so constantly done with all of his members, and yet - probably the one who cleans the kitchen and makes sure to stock up on water/ramyeon/veggies etc.

I feel like he was born to be the hyung, you know? He is the responsible and primary caregiver type. Even though he doesn’t make a big show of it, it seems to be a big part of his personality that he takes care of other people

Also, my god his humour is just.... something commendable, truly. He can’t be funny to save his ass but atleast he keeps trying and i think THATS what so funny about him??? sungjin-ah.... never give up bby

I feel like he’s the least complicated of all members. He doesn’t seem to be the emotionally volatile type and seems very centred in his personality, he also seems oddly like he might have a sister? a younger one (does he? idk, mydays pls let me know). it’s just that other than the protective bear stereotype, he does seem emotionally well-adjusted. Maybe he’s just at that point in life where he can encounter a shitty day or some sort of hardship and look at it straight and say - ok, that’s fucked up. But I guess we gotta just work through it. (in comparison, wonpil would be shrieking through his lungs AND working through it)

in terms of a temper i think he most certainly has one but it takes him a while to get there and i don’t think he’d talk through it AT ALL. maybe cleanliness would be his pet peeve? (im just shooting in the dark here)

to wrap it up, sungjin is the sort of guy (in my opinion at least) who has a strong and steady value system and he’s sort of ok with dealing with the world as long as he has it figured out in his head. He knows who he is, and therefore there is little conflict he brings to the world. If he wasn’t playing in this band, I’d 1000% see him settle for the corporate life and clean9 to 5 job which lets him come back home by 7pm and have some cold beer while watching football and hearing his kids play in the living room

Jae

Aww man this skinny bitch. I feel like the fandom is sleeping on his ‘annoying prankster’ potential because i think  he’d give peeves a run for his money

derives great joy from the misery and anguish of others (probably has Wonpil maniacally laughing in the background)

on a normal day Jae is the sort of person who’s probably going through memes on the phone while everyone’s having a serious conversation about their tour or like their everyday schedules. He has a few things he cares about in life and is okay to take a backseat when it comes to the other shit. As long as he gets what he needs (a possible slytherin mofo?)

But that’s not to say that he’s easygoing or wishywashy about the things that he does care about. Music, matters a lot to him. Even though he’s not academically musically instructed (as young k is) he has spent a whole lot of time and effort into educating himself to the point that it really shows in their albums (i could wax poetry about the complexity of Day6′s music and how its so refreshing in it’s personality of being both goth and peppy i-). So Jae is most certainly determined, goal driven and very intrinsically motivated

Also, very much in his head. If he doesn’t have a strong pisces placement, I’m willing to eat my foot. I feel like while Young K is very intense about his emotions, Jae gets very emotional about the people he surrounds himself with.

With people: not very trusting of everyone. Has a chosen few that he goes to certain things about. Might be the kind of person who distributes his troubles by categories to various confidants. But also, trust is something that is earned with jae. But that is not to say that he won’t get along with other people. He’s cordial and is good in engaging a crowd (as a performer, MC, friend, VJ) but he’s also good at drawing lines and boundaries

the most incredible part of his personality for me has always been his work-ethic and his drive to be better. He’s always challenging himself through his existing skill set, but also pushing himself to learn new things. Sounds like a bloody workaholic to me. 

probably shit at figuring out his own feelings/emotions/attitude about certain things. But always up for being the wise advice-giver to other delinquents (read: jamie)

sarcastic wit to sass everyone for days. probably a loki over thor guy

Kink master extraordinaire. Likes cooking up shit and encourages people to sin.

Young K

emo baby af. But we all knew this so more on that later

The ultimate Onion of a personality. Young K, off the bat, seems like he hides so many layers. Not purposely at all, but simply because he’s unable to communicate the extent of his mental world to the public

one beautiful way he has found to channelise all of his thoughts and ideas about the world is clearly through his music and lyrics. But he’s also extremely creative in other ways (art and fashion). I feel like he’s the sort of person who feels most confident and assured in himself when he’s creating. 

socially, what a mess. I wouldn’t say he has trust issues like Jae does but im pretty sure he’s made some foolish mistakes about choosing friends and not realising how to navigate that friendship (friendships where he has demanded too much or has been demanded too much of??). But otherwise a jovial fool the kind of person who laughs the loudest (and dorkiest) at a dinner with friends

how’s his alcohol intake? I have this super funny intake of a drunk young k trying to write mini love poems for all his friends and sungjin being called to take him home and the call actually begins with “did he try to be poetic again?”

while im trying to paint a picture of him as a jester (because young k also needs to be seen for beyond his emotionality) he’s the kind of guy that would surprise you with how brilliant he is. An actual wisecrack/genius, and very underappreciated. I wouldn’t be surprised if he someday returns to teaching

Right. Emotionality though. If he isn’t some pisces (sun or moon) i will actually yell. He’s the definition of ‘someone who navigates an alternate plane, is open to a world that most people don’t even begin to understand exists’. i feel like speaking to him about abstract concepts - such as the existence of truth, the point of life, the definition of beauty, other existential phenomenon - would be so much fun because he’s have such an interesting and unconventional take on things. I feel like he’s make me humble with the words he has (he already makes me feel so secure with all of his lyrics because i realize, even if the world is shit what a relief that someone like young k exists)

probably would be a guilt-ridden but a wonderfully emotionally supportive boyfriend. Someone who understands your demons all too well and would go the extra mile to provide whatever help he can

1000% has high neuroticism scores that would be cause for concern. someone give him a Beck’s depression inventory right away.

HAHAHAHAH probably the fucking kinkiest mofo, after Jae

Wonpil

An actual baby!!

No ok but wonpil has matured THE most in all of Day6 and i really didn’t realise it until i notice how his expressions have become more closed during airport pics, and his voice has gained a new level of emotionality in live stages, and he’s also a lot more reserved these days on variety shows

still the most extrovert in the group. I just think the fame, the crowd, the possible betrayals as a result of their growing fame and having to be an adult in this tough situation - has gotten to him. But that’s inevitable really. None of us can be protected from the reality of life that leeches away at our innocence

such a vibrant soul. Such a giver. As a friend, he’s literal sunshine. Not much of a protector, but more of an amicable I’ll-always-be-there-for-you sort of person (though im guessing the amount of people he extends this courtesy to nowadays has probably reduced. 

fucking made to be an entertainer. He’s naturally funny and attracts all the energy (and eyes) in the room to himself. A very good mood maker if you will

in terms of neuroticism, I think he’d be more on the depression (from the constant stress workstyle and the increasing loneliness) than an anxious person. I think he probably is a bit volatile in his emotions but that’s because he gets lost in the moment. He’s literally someone who lives in the present far more than he lives in the past (sungjin or young k) or the future (jae)

don’t think he's intrinsically motivated much. Prone to a lot of lazy days, a lot of extreme gaming and just randomnly playing jokes and pranks on people. he’d need some strongly external guidance/deadlines to get his work ethic going

high extraversion and agreeableness, probably low on conscientiousness (especially discpline) but fascinated by aesthetic beauty (openness to experience).

Dowoon

Honest to god i cannot figure him out. I think it’s a case of - im trying to look deeper and harder but the truth is, it’s not even that complicated

underappreciated oppa potential 100000%

still comes through as a dork of a maknae. has zeROhand eye coordination outside of drumming. the kind of kid who breaks the glassware and blames it on his sibling (wonpil) and his parents totally believe him because he could do no wrong (aka sungjin grudginly yells at wonpil, again, about house rules)

just a man dedicated to his drums and his food. if he can play some solid beats, get some work done on the albums, play a nice set on a tour, have some chicken and beer while he is resting, have his hyungs fool around in the green room --> he good bruh

but by no means does that make him a fool (though i do think he’s a bit of a fool sometimes when it comes to picking up social cues about wonpil/jae making fun of him. he lacks the 눈치 you know what i mean)

Also (maybe I just love plot twists) but i think he’d be eerily good at picking up on people feeling sad/depressed/lonely/off in general. He’d be like that guy who just walks into the room and sees you just slinking away on the sofa and he thinks.... nah im just going to give them space and go get myself some food. But literally a few seconds later, he sits by you on the sofa, offers you food, and asks what’s on your mind. The silent supporter kind. Willing to listen, willing to be there for you

i don’t know much about dowoon so im just going to end this with: arms that can lift kids/ crush you in a bear hug/ pin you against a wall and leave bit marks on your neck

sorry if that didn’t cover much. I sort of only know day6 with their music. If im extremely wrong or way off about someone, please reach out and correct me!!

#day6 #character analysis #sungjin #young k #jae #wonpil #dowoon

[kitten1618x]

GoT Afterthoughts ep. 08x01 ‘Winterfell’(Part 3)

Annnnd I’m back again! So where were we? Oh yes, back in Cersei’s boudoir...

~

The first thing I noticed is Cersei is drinking wine again. I’m still not 100% sure she was pregnant to begin with, guys. They were very secretive and ambiguous about the whole thing if you think back on it — and those leaks about her miscarrying turned out to be a wash.

~

Cersei is still salty about those damn elephants.

Same girl, saaaaame.

~

Euron wants to know how he compares to her past lovers. She strokes his massive ego a bit until he brings up Jaime—still a tender wound, she warns him to tread lightly, then simultaneously insults and compliments him as he lays a possessive hand on her stomach and declares he’s going to put a prince in her belly. She promptly dismisses him.

~

What’s striking here is that Cersei appears to be fighting off tears. Clearly, she didn’t want to sleep with Euron, but did so to keep him loyal to her. Love her or hate her, it’s sad to see her at such a desperate and low point where she’s basically whoring herself to keep an ally. Especially when Euron is such a wildcard, and now that he basically got exactly what he wanted—who’s to say he’ll stick around?

~

But, if you believe in political!jon, this is quite the parallel to Jon essentially doing the same to hold onto a wildcard ally in Dany.

~

I’m still not sold on a Cersei pregnancy/miscarriage guys...

~

While Euron is distracted, Theon and what remains of the Iron Born loyal to them, free Yara. She promptly headbutts him for leaving her ass, then helps him up. Now they’re even. 10/10 realistic sibling behavior. lol

~

Yara wants to head back to the Iron Islands, but senses Theon’s need to make amends to the Starks. She sends him to Winterfell with her blessing. I truly love these two as a strong family unit!! Gahhhhhh

~

We drop back into Winterfell where Lord Royce greets Alys Karstark and her people. And why this is necessary got me like 👀. Almost as much as why Alys was cast as a tall, red-headed girl... perhaps to fake a death scene of another important tall red-headed girl with the battle of Winterfell right around the corner?

~

Davos schools Tyrion and Varys on Northern stubbornness and loyalty. Then he proposes a marriage alliance between Jon and Dany if the world should survive. And fucken gag me, Dadvos... I expected better of you! lol I believe the words he uses are “a just woman and an honorable man.” And I’m sorry, it’s just hard for me to reconcile this statement with the same Davos who was extremely skeptical of the things Missandei was saying about Dany last season. Or the same Davos who looked extremely uncomfortable with Dany’s tantrum on the beach when she accused her hand Tyrion, of not wanting to murder his family... but, I digress.

~

We end this scene on Varys’ ominous words, sure to leave a bitter taste in your mouth: NOTHING LASTS. Drop those truth bombs, Varys.

~

A marriage alliance between a truly just woman and an honorable man is probably still in the cards... just sayin’.

~

We drop down from the battlements where Dany and Jon are strolling amongst the battle preparations. Of all the things they could be talking about: the wall falling, the issue of food shortages, etc. Dany brings up Sansa, of course. (no love triangle brewing here folks, none at all).

~

Dany licks her lips and looks around coyly, as if annoyed. “Your sister doesn’t like me.” — well neither did Bran really, or any of the northern lords, but it’s only Sansa’s name on Dany’s tongue—how curious. (Not really).

~

Jon’s eyes shift nervously before he turns to face her and sighs (because I’m telling you, he knew this was coming and it’s no coincidence that he’s kept his mouth shut and stayed out of the conflict). “She doesn’t know you.” Truth. He attempts a joke at how Sansa didn’t like him much either when they were growing up, but Dany isn’t amused.

~

“She doesn’t have to be my friend, but I am her queen. If she can’t respect me…” Dany leaves the threat and it’s implications hang in the air between them, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

~

Dark!dany is here, y’all.

~

I’m sure Dany stans and the jonerii are twisting themselves into pretzels to explain this away.

I mean, it’s not like Emilia herself didn’t warn us all that her character would be doing some ‘weird shit’ and we’d know when we saw it...

~

But Jon’s face here is strikingly similar to these various scenes...

And...

And...

Same. Ass. Energy. You do the math friends, but he’s certainly not looking upon her lovingly.

~

Luckily for Sansa and Jon, the Dothraki steal Dany’s attention to inform her of the livestock count of the dragons’ current dinner menu: 18 goats and 11 sheep. Dany looks alarmed—the dragons are barely eating. Barely. Do you have any idea how many people that amount of livestock could feed?

~

That’s why it’s really hard for me to not be critical of Dany’s character here. I realize she loves her dragons and they are her ‘children’, but in this moment she shows more empathy for the dragons lack of food (who truly can fly off and hunt) than that of the actual people who quite possibly could starve—and was irritated with Sansa for bringing it up.

~

And I will show this fucken gif as many times as I want because it’s so important!!

Food is so important. Don’t let the antis try and tell you otherwise.

~

Jon and Dany go to check on the dragons, and we have the scene we were treated to from the early released stills.

Jon asks what’s wrong with the dragons and Dany replies “they don’t like the North.” — and there is definitely a double meaning behind her words, as I don’t think Dany much likes the North, either. She climbs atop Drogon while Rhaegal expresses a curious interest in Jon.

~

“Go on.” Dany encourages Jon. Not the brightest move to give your bf of 10 minutes the keys to one of your WMD’s, and especially since there are surely much more important things to be done since being made aware that the wall is down and your other child is now a flying ice demon, but hey, joy ride time you crazy Targ kids!

~

So this must be the comedic scene the D’s talked about. I know everyone had mixed feelings about Jon riding a dragon, but I must say, I rather enjoyed this scene—except for the music, which for awhile seemed like a very jarring variation of the Truth theme. The music is very important in this show, so I’ll be curious to know when this pops up again, and where. Perhaps a dragon face off in another dance of dragons? Hmmm?

~

Drogon takes the lead, and Dany seems rather amused at scaring the pants off of Jon when she nose dives Drogon into a ravine and Rhaegal follows. Oh, but what’s this? Jon has realized he can control Rhaegal on his own, and brings the dragon in for a landing. Dany—a bit surprised at this—follows suit. Girl, you should be worried.

~

But she’s not, of course—at least not for long, because she’s busy being ‘twitterpated’ a’la a typical Disney flick, at the impressive place Jon chose to land—right beside an amazing waterfall. Props to loverboy, this is 10/10 primo scenery on the romance scale.

~

I would like to take a moment here to be petty af and point out that it is Daenerys that says the “we could stay here a thousand years” line—not Jon. And who could forget his super-romantic and witty come-back; complete in his Northern drawl: “we’d be pretty old.”

and Dany’s expression says everything! lol This from Mr. ‘I’d like to see you in a silk dress so I can tear it off you’. Pretty weak, Jon. You’re losing romance points for that!

~

Okay, but all joking aside, because I know a lot of my fellow Jonsas were probably a little put off by this scene; let’s break it down. After Jon’s crappy comeback, Dany moves closer to him, and he says something kind of flirtatious and sweet: “It’s cold up here for a southern girl.”

~

This is actually a very Jon-like thing to say, and I could even see this kind of banter between him and Ygritte. It’s also a very ‘equal’ thing to say—here, where no one is around, and formalities aren’t necessary. After all, had he said, “it’s cold up here for a southern queen,” it wouldn’t have had the same punch, now would it?

~

However, Dany has no interest in being Jon’s equal — even here, alone, her first instinct is to remind Jon she’s the queen: “then keep your queen warm” — not, “then this northern boy better keep her warm”, or “then keep your southern girl warm.” Perhaps I’m reading too much into it, but that’s what hopped out at me.

~

Now the kiss. Sigh. Yes, I’m not gonna lie, it definitely looks like Jon’s into it. But my darling Jonsas, before you’re ready to throw Jon under the bus (as I imagine quite a few of you did while I took an entire week to write up my recap) the parent reveal hasn’t happened yet! Simmer down and find your zen, Jon is not a northern fool!

~

And for you antis lurking around: NO. This doesn’t negate political!jon. Not even a little bit. If political!jon is true, then he’s doing exactly what he committed to do—keeping Dany happy and keeping her North. The unfortunate trade-off is, she’s now their queen.

~

But what do we have here? Drogon seems a little restless, and Jon immediately breaks the kiss, and casts nervous eyes in the dragons direction. (Gods yes, this is so romantic). Dany laughs it off and tells Jon not to be afraid, pulling him back into the kiss. But while she’s all oblivious and lost in the kiss, Jon leans her body sideways and opens his eyes to eyeball Drogon, who’s giving him a look like ‘bitch, I know who you are, and I know what you’re doing. Watch your back.’

~

Is it a wonder why every single Jonerys love scene has been interrupted by weirdness? Bloody birth flashbacks, creepy brother voice-overs, no first kiss, growling stink-eyed Drogon... it’s almost like they’re trying to tell us that this isn’t really a romance.

~

And this is where I leave you, for now. The last part will follow shortly, and NO, I won’t break my future recaps into parts. I only did it this way because myself and half my house are sick.

#got afterthoughts #part 3 #got recap #jonsa #political!jon #dark!dany #anti jonerys #anti targaryen restoration #anti daenerys #(not really but just being safe) #melissa rants #long post

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 121 Review

TFW you’re relying on someone to pull through and they’re failing badly.

Has anyone ever seen JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure? SPOILERS

One of the villains is this guy named DIO. He’s an asshole. 

DIO’s whole schtick is that he is obsessed with being dominant. In the clip, he assaults JoJo’s girlfriend to show his dominance over both her and JoJo.

In JoJo’s, people fight using spiritual manifestations of their own life essence. These manifestations are called Stands, and because they are a manifestation of the user’s essence, Stands are revealing in some way as to the nature of the user.

DIO’s stand is the World and it has the power to stop time. Being able to stop time is absolute domination, both physically and temporally. Physically because you can stop the world and fuck around with everything as you please, and temporally because you are no longer subservient to the constant flow of time. The world stops for no man, except you.

Now Eren is fittingly in the same boat, except worse because while DIO could only stop time, Eren can control the course of events. He can see the future and affect the past. His domination over the world is (theoretically) absolute.

I don’t know what Eren’s plan is, but we get a taste of it this chapter. Zeke asks him point blank what he hopes to accomplish and Eren’s response is the most disturbing thing ever.  

“If people try to take my freedom away, I will take theirs away.”

My God.

This statement completely encapsulates Eren as a person. This is the rambling of a deranged lunatic. Worse, even. It’s the thinking of a stupid kid.

“Eren, why did you hit Little Timmy?”

“Because he hit me!”

You cannot hit someone just because they hit you. It doesn’t work that way. You are allowed to hit back in self-defense, but not to exact revenge. Both actions are the same, but the state of mind backing either action is the key difference. The former is the mindset of someone trying to protect themselves. The latter is the mindset of someone trying to hurt someone else.

That’s the faultiness of Eren’s thinking in principle, and it’s even worse in practice.

Eren believes that them trying to kill him gives him license to kill them. Nope, wrong.

Human life is, of course, inviolably valuable, and therefore killing in itself is always wrong. You can kill in self-defense, because the point in that case isn’t the killing itself, but the preservation of your own life. Killing for its own sake is appalling.

Ironically, this deranged narcissist perfectly illustrates why this tit-for-tat way thinking is dangerous. Restraint? Graciousness? Mercy? Can Eren comprehend these concepts?

It’s just so stunning how childish this whole thing is. Eren is opposing a king who would force his will on the future, but since Eren is doing the exact same thing, I can only assume he doesn’t think this is intrinsically wrong.

No, it’s not that Fritz’s vow is wrong, it’s that the same mechanism isn’t being used in service of Eren’s goals. Eren doesn’t think the vow is wrong in itself, he just opposes it because it’s another limit on his freedom.

There is no reason to believe Eren has any boundaries whatsoever. Or any shame for that matter. 

This “me-centric” form of morality is called egoism. It’s an utterly disreputable theory that no one defends. It’s the same with the children he killed in Liberio. Killing is wrong, unless it helps me, in which case it is good. By defining what’s good and bad in these terms, Eren reveals himself as the egomaniac man child that he is.

And yet.

Eren is the one who lectures Zeke in this chapter!

This is what Eren has reduced me to, defending Zeke. Why is this happening to me?

Zeke is supposedly the pathetic one, because he has, you know, an ideology. It’s a stupid AF ideology that is completely indefensible, so it is pathetic, but not the way Eren thinks.

Zeke’s opposition to Grisha is incidental to his ideology. It’s not that Zeke is opposing Grisha out of spite, which would truly be pathetic. Zeke opposes Grisha because their respective worldviews are incompatible.

Meanwhile Eren is saying he should be allowed to do mean things to people because they did mean things to him.

The idea that people can just kill others, simply because they tried to kill you is fundamentally lawless. Not to take the fun out of superheroes, but vigilante justice isn’t actually justice. It’s totally illiberal to have one person hold the power to judge, convict, and sentence another.

But it is also totally in character for Eren to support that idea. With Eren, it’s all about power.

I’ve often compared Eren to our 45th president. Whatever the Eren stans say, that is an apt comparison. Eren’s talk of taking freedom from those who try to take his is not unlike something Trump would say. 

They are both narcissistic man children with an insatiable lust for dominance. Slighting them creates an imbalance that they must make right, and the world is off kilter until that is done. It’s that one itch they must scratch.

Eren fights because, to be blunt, he wants the world to be his bitch and he will not settle for anything less than that. This is second nature to someone who says the things Eren says. If you think killing is justified just because they tried to kill you, then you obviously do not value human life.

At this point, Eren is undeniably similar to Zeke. He wants to bring his dream to fruition and anyone who gets in his way is just a pissant to be stomped on. 

Is Eren redeemed by his (apparent) concern for his friends? 

Nnnnope!

While friends do have certain obligations to each other, it is completely obscene to do the heinous things Eren’s done just for their sake. 

You cannot define the morality of your actions by how much they help a random group of people. Why are the lives of Eren’s friends worth any more than the lives of the people he’s killed?

The answer is that, all else being equal, they aren’t. 

You may care deeply for someone, but that does not justify a killing. 

Who is even the hero of this story anymore?

It can’t be Zeke, because his values are anathema to the series values. He may be the audience surrogate this time around, but I doubt fucking Zeke Jeager is going to be the hero when the final chapter comes around. 

Eren is theoretically the hero because his values broadly align with the story’s, but his actions are depicted in an almost devilish light. I always hoped the series would tackle the notion of fighting too hard for what you believe in, but…it’s too late for that now?

We’re in the final story arc. It’s weird to only just now be dealing with this meaty idea. Over 100 chapters of “Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!” and we’re just now getting to the “But not too hard.” part? There’s no way. 

Alternatively, this is just one final fake-out in the game of is-he-or-isn’t-he that Isayama has been playing since the Marley Arc. Is Eren evil, or isn’t he? Or maybe they’ll play it as “Can he be redeemed or can’t he?” 

Either way, I bet there’ll be some kind of change of heart from Eren soon. 

This chapter echoes a point made by Yelena about the titans and their relationship to humanity: that the titan powers will be abused by people because that is just the nature of things. So let’s unpack that.

King Fritz, speaking through Frieda, says that the power of the titans must not fall into human hands lest it be abused. This mirrors ongoing debates about how to deal with certain controversial weapons, such as nuclear weapons.

The (very) liberal position is that nuclear weapons should be banned completely because the risk of abuse is too great.  As per usual, the liberal position is taken by King Fritz.

The conservative position, which, once again, is the position the story sides with, is made more implicitly: that the titan powers can be a force for good, it’s just a matter of making sure only good people can access that power.

This conservative position is what underlies US policy towards North Korea and Iran. Those countries are rogue states that the US believes cannot be trusted. (Note, though, that the nuclearization of Iran is supported by Russia, a nuclear power.)

Personally, I believe nuclear weapons should be banned completely. Most countries are at least nominally supportive of the eventual, complete destruction of all nuclear weapons, and international norms have been evolving in that direction.

That is the contradiction of this issue: most people take the liberal position in the long term, but hold the conservative position in the short term.

This is just another reason to think that SNK will end with a ringing endorsement of nuclear weapons, with nary a nod to the need for eventual total disarmament.

See, ungodly amounts of power aren’t inherently bad, we just need special people to wield them for the public good.

Yeah, I get it, we need special people, but you know what? Frodo was special. The One Ring supposedly couldn’t corrupt him, but they still set out to destroy it. Because power on this scale is itself wrong.

Nuclear weapons aren’t the only possible parallel, though. Any controversial weapon will fit. In the United States there is a debate over regulating high powered weapons like the AR-15.

How do you handle such a thing? Do you ban the weapon completely, or just certain people from using it? I won’t wade into something as controversial as that here, though I will point out that the story clearly sides with the position of regulation over a total ban.

The scene in the cave also mirrors Japan’s current nuclear predicament. Japan has many outside rivals and threats, and Japan could build nuclear weapons if they wanted too. They have the technological capability, but in spite of the threat of North Korea, and the tense relations with China, the Japanese government chooses not to.

So, yeah, I’ve had the series pegged as leaning neoconservative and I still think that.

So what does the future hold?

Apparently, an event where Eren… becomes/does something. They both saw the same thing: a future where Eren is this OP chad of chads and a total boss. Grisha looks like he saw the worst thing imaginable. Eren looks like he just had an orgasm.

Since Eren is portrayed in a more sinister way this chapter, I am inclined to believe this future actually is a ghastly one.  

Before this chapter, my guess was that Eren wanted to destroy the world using the wall titans, but would somehow come around to using it the way Armin mentioned: defensively.

Having it be preordained that the future holds a version of Eren that people who aren’t Eren will think is abominable throws a wrench into that.

I wouldn’t bet against Isayama somehow finding a way to make it work though. The only other alternative is that this series ends in the most ironic way possible, with the deranged lunatic having his way and “freedom” finally being established.

#shingeki no kyogin #attack on titan #snk 121 #spoilers

[serenagaywaterford]

Anyone who doesn’t think Yvonne is hot, is either blind or has no taste, or both. But they are entitled to their wrong opinion. Although, I’ll say the makeup doesn’t help, especially during that dance. But it’s meant to look ridiculous, just look at Cate’s character too. And I think Sofie is supposed to be distraught during that dance, right from the beginning. So maybe it’s intentional? I remember from Yvonne’s interviews, she said she danced for a long time growing up. 1/

As far as her acting, it was really good. No surprise there, she’s an excellent actress. But so far, still think Serena is her best, she’s just a more nuanced character. Of course, it could change, this is going to be a really meaty role. What are your thoughts on the episode over all? I liked it a lot, although I liked Ameer’s storyline slightly more, Sofie’s feels a little clunky to me. Next episode has potential to be even better though, I am pretty excited. 2/2

—

Lmao, I agree. They can have their wrong opinion ;)

SPOILERS FOR STATELESS!!

Yeah, I wasn’t talking about that final dance scene. That one clearly was meant to be awful. She’d just been raped/sexually assaulted in some way so I wouldn’t expect her to be dancing her heart out all hunky dory. I meant like… all the other scenes, lmao. I’m guessing based on the response to me touching a nerve in the Yvonne fandom, that it’s an active choice by Yvonne/the director to be a less than amazing dancer in this to show that they’re preying on a vulnerable person who wants so desperately to be “exceptional”, but really she’s just ordinary. Maybe that’s the point?

Lol, but yeah, Cate’s character was so OTT. But I mean, a bit true to life cos these people often are. She seemed to ham it up a little too much for my liking sometimes, but others she nailed it so well. I actually thought the dude I call Fugly Frogman (Dominic West) did very well in the role as the cult leader man. He was spot on. I watch/read a lot about cults so… I mean that was the most interesting part, personally (but not all of Sofie’s story tbh. Like you, I think Ameer’s story was more interesting overall. I liked it more. It was more impactful and emotional). I don’t wanna go into a huge essay about Sofie in all this cos … yeah, I’m a bit disappointed in some choices and very wary of the way they’re portraying things, and I think they could make more changes to the “true story” it was inspired by. Because yeah, it seemed very blocky and stilted in terms of progression, probably because of the beats they hit that seemed a bit cliched. (Again, I am very aware it’s based on a real story of mental illness BUT there are ways to do it that aren’t so… obvious? I dunno. Like I said in the past, I am incredibly picky about the way TV shows choose to show these types of stories.) But meh, I’ll see how it goes. 

In terms of Stateless as a whole so far? I liked it well enough. It has potential for sure.I cheered when Kate Box appeared cos I think she’s great lol. I actually really like the approach they’re taking to Cam’s story? Like I thought that was good. I’m interested in that cos I mean, it’s pretty predictable where it’s going but still, maybe it won’t? But it’s a necessary exploration of the otherside of the problem (poverty, desensitisation, systemic and institutionalised racism/bigotry). Obviously Ameer’s story is devastating. It did remind me a lot of like all the stories you hear from refugees, down to the letter. (And I’d recommend a background refresher by watching “Go Back To Where You Came From” which YES is a reality show from like 8 years ago, but still somewhat relevant for basic background.) I mean there were 3 moments that got me, one for each character, and that’s probably a good thing it was balanced like that. Actually no, there were 4, and 2 of them were Ameer. 

The first was the boat setup when the cops raided the beach, and the second when he is penniless and begging for food at the market and scavenging everywhere for his daughter. Just those shots of him going through the market, and some people granting him charity but everyone is poor and struggling. I thought it was even more emotional than the final boat scene where he sacrificed himself. For Cam, it was when he was trying to buy diapers and saw all the prison guards drinking. And for Sofie, the final dance was very affecting, but it was the previous scene when Cate Blanchett’s character turns on the music as Sofie is going to her “private session” with Frogman. Like that was just SO ominous. And then the whole session. Like, THAT is how you show rape without actually showing it. It was so well done. (If anybody thinks that’s not what that shitheel of a man did in there, I have a few 100000 personal accounts of cult victims to show you. And it’s an incredibly common theme.) I thought that was Yvonne’s best scene too. Maybe it sounds bad but I thought Sofie’s story was the least engaging so far, even though she had the most amount of development. Also the whole “I’m this upset cos my parent’s love my sister more”? JOIN THE CLUB, GIRL. I was just like, “Really?” Not that parental relationships can’t be incredibly influential in good and bad ways… but. Is she for real? Your parents suck. So do so many people’s. And I do get she’s mentally ill so she doesn’t have the emotional reserves and coping mechanisms necessary to deal with what most of us can just talk about (in therapy) and deal with to a more successful degree. (And that chronic vulnerability and slight disconnect from reality is exactly why she is so attractive to cult leaders and predators.) But I mean… I dunno, focusing on Sofie as the central character and the whole cult thing… I mean the scary part of cults is that most people are “normal” folks, with particular vulnerabilities that make them susceptible to brainwashing, but they’re not generally mentally ill. And if the show wants to make serious commentary about the dissolution of identity and humanity that these detention centres provoke, maybe using someone who already suffers identity issues as their poster girl isn’t the most effective way? It can easily be discarded like, “Well, that doesn’t happen to everyone. She’s just crazy already.” I dunno, I hope the focus shifts off Sofie so much to other stories too, like Ameer and his family/friends. I know Sofie’s is sort of the linchpin to the narrative, but hers is not the most important story imo. 

I am EXCITED AF for Asher Keddie next week. I don’t know how great the character/her story will be, but I really enjoy her as an actress so I’m curious af.

One thing that irritated me?THAT RECURRING RED BALLOON. Like what is this? “It 3″? Like, I get it’s meant to be symbolic imagery or whatever but couldn’t you at least choose a different colour? Yellow? Orange? Black? White? Blue? Green? There are so many options lol. WHY RED? Like… it was just so stupid and unnecessary. I agree that so far Yvonne’s performance here isn’t at the level of hers in THT. But there’s time still. If I had to judge her off THT’s 1x01 I deffo wouldn’t have given her as much praise as I do now. So, it’ll be a finale time decision. So far, I don’t find the character nearly as complex, nor her performance–because she doesn’t need to be when the character is fairly straight forward. She does have some nuance to her acting in Stateless still, but just … something about her understated choices in THT gets me, and I haven’t quite seen that yet. Flickers of it here and there so far in Stateless but not on the same scale. Like I said tho, it’s still really early and her character has a lot of development to do.

#i'm not saying she's a TERRIBLE dancer #just not that great #that's not a bad thing #she doesn't have to be spectacular at everything #i'd much rather she be a superb actor and not a fantastic dancer #rather than a mediocre actor and slightly better dancer. #Anonymous

[jfleurcannon]

oh fuck. a hysterectomy story.

just so i don't have to go through explaining. please visit links and read up if you are interested, i simplified it AF and wiki'd the source, otherwise, this is legit not the place for you. i talk about things, life, whatnot, and my life is fucking bullshit sometimes.

endometriosis

adenomysosis

fibromyalgia - i'm not even gonna get into this one. because, as the doctor who diagnosed me said, 'not many people believe in this one, so maybe don't say that you have it out loud.' but chalk that guy up for chronic musculoskeletal & joint pain in my wrists, arms, shoulders, back, butt, and knees. but 🤫.

i'm sure y'all know wtf depression and anxiety are, i see those #bellletstalk tags. it's been with me for years, since i guess the chronic pain started. i got my period and wondered why the fuck i was the only one who got sick, like sick. fainting, knocking over a mannequin display at the eddie bauer at fairview mall (you're welcome, sisters), passing out at school and having to be carried out by julie (thank you, sister), missing so many activities and things i wanted to do but couldn't. having 'jenn's always sick anyways' thrown in my face by a childhood friend, being made to feel bad about pain and not wanting to be in the mood, having to cancel plans last minute because of pending pain, side effects from meds i'm taking that make me sick, but not quite as sick as the original problem - so i deal. like i deal with it all. [like a warrior. i have held my pain like the damn death star. my uterus is the death star. except that time i carried and birthed a baby, and then it was fucking AWESOME!] typically it's bottom shelf paper bag internalized. and for years my solution was to therapy it out, or shove the feels down hard so i developed massive GI issues, or maybe that is the endo, who the fuck knows. fast forward years of therapy and a shit ton of medication and three suicide attempts, the final one being in 2007. i was hospitalized for the final attempt at sunnybrook's mental health ward. the F ward, i shit you not. i felt like girl intrurrupted, but there was no winona or angelina. there was a pam and a joan. no padded room, but i couldn't leave to go outside for the first week. that was fucked up.

pain is pain, and although i am a fan of ja-rule, pain has never equaled love to me. it has only left me with an overwhelming hate for parts of my life, that were always plagued by illness, pain, and brewing depressive state. i would get sick for long, long periods of time and there would be no reason for it. had i known then what i had (endo, adeno, fibro, MFGT's) it would have made sense. two of the three are auto-immune diseases. i get a cold, and i really get it. i lose my voice, and it's gone for months.

the only fast thing i've done is labour and delivery. it might seem strange to put the birth of my child in the pain category, however the story will explain why in a mo. i arrived at the hospital at 10am at 2cm dilated, upon exam by a nurse i pushed and my water broke, i was put in a wheelchair and brought to wait for a L&D room, outside the exam room and in the tiny hallway, there my insides tore open, quite literally, nerve damage, and rapid labour. i screamed and screamed and was told to wait while they got things ready. i mean. i thought i was dying. why was this happening so fast? my husband came back up as i was being brought into the room (i think, some details are fuzzy). i was examined by a doctor and was at 10cm. it hadn't been more than 10 minutes since i had arrived. i remember things moving too quickly for me and i was very panicked that something was wrong. i remember being told the boy's heartbeat was becoming compromised and we needed to get him out. options included a C-section, forceps, or the vacuum. all terrified me as i literally was without ANY pain management. we opted for the vacuum and they offered me laughing gas as a super sad knife-in-the-back compromise. i took it, but the hell? AT THAT VERY MOMENT I WANTED THE SWEET, SWEET NECTAR OF THE ALL POWERFUL EPIDURAL! four pushes with the vacuum on and the boy was born, at 10:35am. in 35 minutes i arrived at the hospital had my baby, like whatevs, and held him while being stitched up. naturally there were stitches. i can't even with that pain. OMG. people say you won't remember the labour pain and that 'it'll just go away when you see your perfect baby', you know what? they lied to your face, or they had an epidural, or they didn't experience rapid labour. 2-10 in 5 minutes. they did not teach me that in L&D class. i wanted ice chips, and the tub, and the playlist of music, and maybe a pelvic roll or two on the ball, but no, miles wanted his entrance to be dramatic and fast and it was nothing less than that.

any and all of the things i've battled have stayed with me like wearing a cloak, all day everyday i feel pain, whether it's physical, mental, emotional, or otherwise, i feel it. i can't see it but i fucking feel it. with diagnosis always come the waiting game of endless specialists, tests, interventions by way of oral medication, physical therapy, walking epidurals, suppositories in my ass or vag, chiropractor visits, along with visits to acupuncture, massage, GP, GYNE, and psychologists.

after a thirty year battle, and almost one year of keeping this in my drafts folder, i finally have felt an end to my endometriosis and adenomyosis pain. a hysterectomy and final excision of endo from nerve clusters fused together because of it, i can breathe. i can breathe clearly and without a constant fear of nausea, hot flashes, bizarre mood swings because of the menopausal state the IUD was causing, and chronic pelvic/back/low abdomen/bowel pain. i still have a 44 year old body and permanent nerve damage from rapid labour and negligence from a past surgeon, but holy hot hell it's nice to not want to punch people in the face for asking you how you feel. i know that's not a normal reaction to that question. i get that. however, as someone who has suffered from chronic pain her whole adult life, it is the hardest question to answer honestly. how you feel sometimes is like shit, or crap, or a god damn mess, or you just don't want to talk, especially to that person but you can't say it. so you answer, 'fine', 'great', or 'living the dream'. is the honest answer the best answer? it may not be, but it's the one with the least amount of follow up questions or lengthy conversation to follow. i love things, and flowers, and coffee, and white wine, and my man friend, and my kid, and my family, and a handful of others - but for the most part i would honestly prefer not to talk to anyone about anything. it's all the same conversation anyway. and i'm tired. tired of listening. tired of talking/hearing my own voice. tired of noise. in need of quiet and calm. my one year surgery anniversary is coming up and i'm looking forward to it. i have never looked forward to a post surgery anything because those have always led to more surgeries. but the doctor from brazil with the 'small hands' did the job this time. removed the death star and its accompanying bullshit organs (tubes and cervix) and we are good to go now. she works again, without pain 😉

surgeries for endometriosis & adenomyosis

2006 - laser laparoscopic discovery of endo

2009 - stage IV endo excision via laparoscopy

2015 - laser laparoscopic removal of endo & appendectomy

2016 - endo excision via laparoscopy

2019 - full hysterectomy (minus ovaries) and extensive endo excision on nerve clusters fused together

#hysterectomy #endometriosis #adenomyosis #fibromyalgia #depression #anxiety #rapid labour

[illegiblewords]

Right now I am honestly tired as heck just out of work but I think I am figuring out a writing thing so gonna type that here.

I’m basically in the kind of :I position rn where besides on and offline responsibilities and social stuff I have:

1) A novel I am supposed to be working on through July, which is properly outlined and I feel pretty good about.

2) A fun D&D campaign that I’m :> over.

3) A new idea that hit me in the head like a sack of bricks like a day or two ago.

#3, literally it’s the second time in my life that kind of situation has happened. I don’t normally have ideas where the concept just sort of gets vomited out in a weird detailed state. But after a late af night at work apparently that was what had to happen and I ended up scribbling notes for that for like five hours into some stupid time at night/morning.

Honestly, prob some part of me had been low key preparing for that to happen. I’ve been toying with the idea of doing a thing involving multiple fantasy races (main novel isn’t about that) and then when I hit D&D that basically unclogged a bunch of concepts that had previously been mushing together and they sort of exploded out in a much more articulate way than originally planned. I can see pieces of what I’d been vaguely considering before floating around.

And now I have to deal with it. :[

One of the parts I’ve been very D: about though is cast.

Let me tell you dudes, I actually talked to a dear friend who is a pro editor about writing and she gave me some advice I try to keep in mind. That advice was to not make such ungodly huge casts.

This isn’t because I can’t make solid characters with huge casts or stories can’t be told with huge casts. It’s because I’m a goddamn crazy person and whenever I try to set up a story I end up doing horrifyingly detailed levels of worldbuilding and literally with notes of like eight generations of personal ancestry and all the social circles of every single character and then when you have casts of like 60 people that goes into the sphere of hundreds of pages of OUTLINING and it’s hard to get started. Not even fucking exaggerating. My main novel I basically have two points of view (so I’d list main cast is like two people) and less than ten significant cast members because I know I’m like this and I deliberately looked at myself in the mirror and was like NO URBAN YOU NEED TO STOP.

This novel, the original main cast size I had in mind was going to be like nine. As in, the people traveling together having an adventure was going to be be nine. I would still have had to do all the “npc” types and make backstories and motives for their asses.

I realized at some point this was excessive and did that whole look-yourself-in-the-mirror thing and went DO YOU REALLY NEED A MAIN CAST OF NINE URBAN THAT SEEMS PRETTY EXCESSIVE, and so then proceeded to look at my cast and be like “DEFEND WHY THIS PERSON NEEDS TO EXIST AND IF YOU CANNOT THEN FUCK THEM”.

Basically, self-amputation is an important part of writing my friends. It really is.

So step one, there were a series of stern conversations with myself that amounted to “DO YOU REALLY NEED A SUBTERRANEAN HALF-ELF BARD URBAN?” “Well I mean I don’t know it might raise neat questions and I have so many guys in the cast and I’d like to balance things–” “DO YOU REALLY NEED A SUBTERRANEAN HALF-ELF BARD URBAN?” “… No, not really…” “SAY HASTA LA VISTA BABY” Then rinse and repeat with a bunch of other characters.

For the record, I try to do this same process when I go shopping too. It is not always successful but I do use it. In this case I was fortunate and I succeeded in whittling the main cast down to six members, which is still big but not obscenely big.

When I was younger, I used to use tv tropes as a guide to try and help myself figure things out not going to lie. As an older and more experienced writer lady I know that tv tropes does a lot of focusing on the superficial bits of writing but not so much the reasons for those superficial bits that actually let you do important structural work. Still, I did have a look back at cast calculus to see what those were in case it gave me an idea of how to approach the issue of making dynamics and fleshing out characters and doing the pacing with a situation like this.

The answer wasn’t there. But it did help me get my fucking head together, so credit where it is due.

TV tropes talks about five man band a lot, which is basically a structure of leader, person to direct foil the leader, someone intellectual in the group, someone physical in the group, and mediator of the group. It’s not actually said that nicely, they have some admin there being a royal turd focusing on “wah the mediator has to be a gurl” instead of character dynamics. Annoying and useless for storytellers but w/e. They also talk about how sometimes you get a sixth person tacked on and usually that person is an edgelord of some kind who reforms.

Superficial stuff, not that useful. But some person made a note that made me stop and just explained the whole goddamn thing for me clearly.

The sixth person usually acts as a second foil to the leader.

Huh.

So basically, shit’s like this. I’m pretty sure I heard at some point that humans are only really able of fully comprehending numbers up to 3 at a time. It’s not that you don’t know there are bigger numbers. But like picture a bunch of dots or something, they usually break into 1′s, 2′s, or 3′s. If you imagine four it’s like 2+2 or 1+3. If you imagine five it’s like 2+3 or 1+2+2 or something. Grain of salt me on this I am not a mathematician or a scientist, but I do remember hearing this is a thing.

If you look at the way cast calculus tries to break shit down on the tv tropes website, they follow this more or less. Duos you have person A and person B contrasting their qualities, they end up bouncing off each other and creating a balance. Trios you have person A and person B with that structure but then person C is also there and is a kind of mediator role. Id (impulsive and a bit selfish)/ego (aware of reality)/superego (morality or intellect) with ego as mediator if you wanna go old psych. With groups of five, the setup is leader/right hand (contrast), then mind/body (another form of contrast, doesn’t strictly need to be that probably but it is one), then mediator.

2+2+1, or you can attach the mediator to either group of two and have 3+2.

Huuuuuuh.

So six, though. What the fuck are you supposed to do with six?

3+3 my dudes, and 2+2+2. AND, if you aren’t gonna be lazy and shallow and just blindly mimic what people have done before without understanding it (disclaimer: I have in fact been lazy and shallow and blindly mimicked what people have done before without understanding it many, many times) you gotta be able to switch the party members in each subdivision and explain where they stand with the dynamic so you don’t have any redundant bits or hiccups and all the relationships read distinct.

So basically:

Character A

Character B

Character C

Character D

Character E

Character F

You gotta be able to explain:

ABC, DEF, AB, CD, EF first. Then ABD, CEF, AD, BE, CF, and so on.

Reasons larger casts get harder, you have more shit you have to figure out with fucking math. Cut corners at this and the risk of you having two characters who are basically the same person and have a boring nonsense dynamic you don’t know what to say about goes up.

But Urban (you say as my levels of insane analytical bullshit continue to climb), haven’t people figured this shit already??? A-Archetypes happened yeah, so theoretically some older and more mathematically/instinctively gifted storytellers in the past figured some shit out. Wasn’t there a thing about the sixth person being some kind of douchecanoe edgelord? Why not just go with that and pray it sticks?

See I figured that trick out my dudes. I figured it right out. The douchecanoe is a trick. Secretly, that douchecanoe has a hole and that hole is flooded with more math.

Why do you need a douchecanoe? Well, we said earlier–usually they show up and turn out to be a second foil to the leader. So you got leader, foil A, foil B. One is gonna be mediator (probably the leader) and then each of the others will be a pole of some kind. Id, ego, superego is one way of putting it but so is idk idealist, realist, cynic. You can go a lot of routes with this. For mine I have ends justify the means, ends never justify means, and maybe both sometimes depending on the situation. It’s all foiling. And depending on who you have in which position you will have greater or lesser levels of contrast or parallel going on. I could have ABC and DEF be id, ego, superego respectively but then I try ABD and in that setup D is ego/mediator compared to A and B or something.

Basically, you have a team who is mostly pretty heroic overall, the person jumping in being either a moral extremist in some ways or being extra impulsive about what they want is a way to increase the range of morality on the whole and offer more foiling opportunities. I'd like to say though that isn't the only way to do it. If you have an asshole teammate in a group of five and then send in a sixth person, that sixth person could stand out for being really decent too. It's basically about generating a big moral contrast, especially between the leader and their direct foil.

But what about shipping? Opposites attract is one thing but isn’t birds of a feather flock together also a thing? And isn't shipping is just another form of character dynamic? What the hell does that do to all this horrible math? The thing is, opposites attract and birds of a feather flock together always, by nature, have to be trends. Not absolutes. Otherwise you get selfcest or two people with nothing to bond or relate over at all. Practically aliens. Any contrast you create between characters must also parallel in some other way and vice versatile. And ye both still work. It's good general policy to always have some level of foiling AND some level of paralleling between each pair of cast members that is distinct.

Also, as a bonus--why do people think casts of four are tricky? Basically when you are doing groups of four every single character has to be equally foiled and paralleled by every other character in some way. The balance of similarity and difference is real precise and can be a little tricky to wing.

But yeah, seven and higher cast numbers scare the hell out of me especially since they don't break evenly into subgroups within human comprehension limits. I think it's still doable but Jesus.

[caveartfair]

Former Met Director Thomas Campbell Defends His Legacy

Artsy’s team of editors takes you behind the scenes of the best stories in art.

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On February 4th, the New York Times published a front page story entitled “Is the Met Museum ‘a Great Institution in Decline’?” The article ignited a ferocious public backlash against New York City’s most-visited institution and its director and CEO, Thomas P. Campbell. By the end of that same month, Campbell had announced his resignation—making his tenure as director the shortest since the Met’s fourth, Herbert Eustis Winlock, who presided over the institution from 1932 to 1939.

Principal among the issues that led to Campbell’s resignation was a roughly $10 million budgetary deficit (public knowledge for a year or so prior to his resignation), which officials warned could swell to $40 million if immediate action was not taken.

In a conversation with Artsy, days after his July 14th departure from the Met, Campbell was candid about the issues that contributed to that deficit—including his own ambition as director. But he also painted a far more nuanced picture of the circumstances surrounding the major grievances levied against him and the museum: in particular, heavy investment in expanding the museum’s activities in modern and contemporary art and extensive resources put into digital infrastructure to help expand the reach of the United States’s largest museum.

You can read a transcript of the full episode below.

Alexander Forbes: Thank you, Tom, for joining me today at Artsy HQ.

Thomas Campbell: It’s a pleasure to be here.

AF: There’s so much I’d like to get through, so, if you don’t mind, I think we’ll just dive right in.

Looking back at some of the statements you’ve made leading up to your departure from the Met, you’ve said that various portions of the narrative that have played out have been accurate and not accurate to varying degrees and that you hope that, in some amount of time, a larger narrative could come out about your tenure there and the circumstances around your departure. There’s been no shortage of coverage around the Met’s trials and tribulations over the last six months. But, from your perspective: What were the less accurate portions of that coverage; why did you resign; and what is that larger narrative that you hope might emerge over time?

TC: We had a quite a turbulent year last year. Like many businesses, we were going through a financial restructuring just to make sure that our income was balanced with our expenditures and it generated quite a lot of agitation inside and outside the museum that was portrayed in some of the media as a major crisis. The reality is that the Met has a $3 billion endowment. It has a AAA rating. It has one of the most generous donor bases of any cultural institution in the world. So the work we were doing was being done from a position of great strength and the institution remains very strong in every sense. So I think that as the dust settles, people will be able to see again how amazing the Met is. On every metric, we’re in a very strong place. We’ve just broken an audience of seven million; we’ve grown our audience by 40 percent over the last eight years, which I think is faster than any peer institution anywhere in the world. The quality of our program is the envy of the world. We’re firing on all cylinders, and I think that is the story that will emerge.

AF: The Met was the most visited tourist attraction in all of New York last year. You’ve repeated in a number of interviews that the Met is on a pathway to financial stability and prosperity in the long term. Is there any detail to which you can get into the underpinnings of that claim and how you see that path emerging out of this tumultuous year?

TC: The Met is a big business. We’re a $350–360 million gross business, $320 million net. Our income comes from multiple sources. And our expenditures are considerable. One of the challenges we’ve been facing in recent years is that we have a high internal inflationary pressure because between about 65–70% of our budget goes on salaries and benefits and we have a constant, incremental 2–3% increase in that every year while at the same time some of our revenue streams were being impacted. For various reasons, our admissions stream was weakening. In order to deal with deferred maintenance we had to take out a bond issue for $250 million back in early 2015, so we had additional debt repayment. Another incremental factor was that, because the actuarial projections were changed, by law we had to start putting more money aside for pensions; many institutions across the country are facing similar circumstances. So we had a combination of factors that were increasing our expenditures while our revenues were weakening. And what we were doing was essentially good housekeeping. We were trimming our costs, trying to reduce the headcount to a certain extent, looking carefully at our priorities, but it’s business. And we’re well on track to having a comprehensive, balanced, sustainable budget over the next two to three years.

AF: One of the major public blows that, I think, a lot of people in New York noticed was the indefinite pushing off of building the $600 million contemporary wing. To what extent did the impact of the gaps between the mandate that you were given when coming in to vastly expand contemporary and modern art as part of the Met’s program and the realities of funding around that initiative impact this larger picture?

TC: Again, I think that the story has been somewhat simplified in the press. And perhaps I’m also victim of some of my own overly optimistic projections from five or six years ago. The situation is that, back in 2012–2013, we undertook a feasibility study of the whole building. We looked at infrastructure needs, deferred maintenance, and we looked at future elective projects, transformative projects that would really enhance the Met’s offering to its public. And out of the study came a very realistic understanding of some very urgent needs: areas of roofs that needed to be replaced, in particular the need to re-roof the area over our European paintings galleries. That was one subject that then led into a deep-dive analysis that came to completion at the end of 2016.

At the same time, on the elective projects, the project that seemed to the leadership and to the board the highest priority back in 2013 was the opportunity of rebuilding the southwest corner of the museum which houses our modern and contemporary collections but also has a number of other functions; it’s where we have the roof garden, restaurants, boardroom, and so on. That too led into a deeper-dive analysis. We did an architectural competition. We ended up selecting the British architect David Chipperfield and we then worked with David on a very exciting year and a half, two year process as we developed a schematic design for that project. There’s no question that, if we embark on it, it will be very expensive.

Those two—the infrastructure project and the modern wing vision—both came to fruition at the end of last year. By the time that we had completed both of these analyses, it was clear that we couldn’t do both at the same time. Originally, i had thought that they might overlap or they might run in conjunction. But it was quite clear that the scale of the infrastructure project is so enormous that that would be standalone just as the southwest wing. So we had to make a call—which was the higher priority? And I think it was clear to all of us that ensuring the integrity of the existing building, protecting the existing collections has to be the priority, especially insofar as we had done a $250 million bond issue, so we had the money in hand to move forward with that project.

The decision to put the southwest wing project on pause, there has been a lot of speculation about what does this mean; I think we have a very exciting vision for what can happen with that southwest corner and my successor and the board will now have the time to really think carefully about what is the appetite and how much are they prepared to invest in that venture. There is no question that for the growth and the future health of the Metropolitan, that is a part of the museum that has to be redeveloped. But this all has to be looked at in the context of an institution that is 147–148 years old. We’ve been under almost permanent construction since the building was set up in Central Park in 1880, and you just have to take a longer-term perspective on this.

AF: It’s been exciting to see the activities in the Met Breuer in the meantime, and it’s my understanding that it's actually bringing in a larger audience than the Whitney was in the same location, especially given the backdrop of the issues getting funding around these things and clearly, the Kerry James Marshall show was one of the favorite exhibitions I’ve seen in the last five years. But one question that I’ve heard a lot was actually written in the Times in one of Robin Pogrebin’s early articles in a bit of a rhetorical way, but which I think warrants getting your perspective on is: “Why try to compete with the new Whitney Museum of American Art and the Museum of Modern Art, some ask, instead of sticking to what the Met already does best?”

TC: It’s a really good question; it’s a very important question. I don’t think we were out to compete with the MoMA or the Whitney or the Guggenheim. You have to take a step back. When the Met was founded, it was founded as an encyclopedic museum to collect everything from antiquity through to the present day. And for the first 40 years of the Met’s existence, modern art was the Hudson River School and contemporary was Sargent and Whistler and William Merritt Chase. And the Met collected quite aggressively in those areas, and thank God it did, because those are now some of the strengths of our collection. But the Met famously pulled back from collecting contemporary in the early 20th century because the art that was coming out of europe—Cubism, Fauvism, and so on—was just too radical for the tastes of the board and the curators of the time. That despite the efforts of brave curators like Roger Fry, who felt we should be collecting.

There was a hiatus of 20–25 years in which time MoMA was created, the Whitney was created, the Guggenheim was created. But by the 1930s and early ’40s, it was becoming clear again to staff at the Met that many of them felt that we should be collecting contemporary, not to compete but because it was part of the longer narrative that the Metropolitan was charged with telling. If you look back, if you read authors like Calvin Tomkins’s Merchants and Masterpieces, you see the effort that the museum began to make in the 1950s and ‘60s to re-engage. Famously, Henry Geldzahler in the 1960s under Tom Hoving brought a whole new effort to collecting and displaying modern art at the Met. That continued, not turbocharged, but it continued under Philippe de Montebello and we built up a meaningful collection—but it’s patchy, it’s spotty—and by the time I became director I think it was very clear to the board and the leadership that our audience wanted to see a more consistent approach to modern and contemporary in the context of our global and historical collections.

AF: How did you start to shape that narrative?

TC: When I came in as director, I had a number of briefs from the board—one of them was to expand our engagement with modern and contemporary. That involved expanding the department, finding a platform for more exhibitions, more activity. And my appointment and that charge coincided with the approach that we’d had from the Whitney to find out whether we would be interested in taking over their building when they moved downtown. It seemed like a very exciting opportunity: a custom-made modern art space, an exciting opportunity for us to expand our programming. So we thought hard about it. We took two or three years to really analyze the opportunities, the costs. But that was the exciting opportunity. And the Met Breuer is the exciting result of that.

AF: It was interesting, when you took over, the great excitement that a curator would take on this role at a time when museum directorships were evermore heading towards a more financier or manager type, and I wondered how it was stepping into such a complex institution, one with so many different—I’m sure, competing—interests. I’m sure everyone wants to put on a landmark show every year. What was your approach to making those tough decisions and managing such a vast staff of over 2,000 employees?

TC: The Met is quite a political place. And that’s not a bad thing. It keeps you on your toes. You have 17 curatorial departments all, to an extent, competing for a slice of the same resources. So I tried hard during my tenure to find the right balance. There might be a contemporary art show but there was also an exhibition about Ancient Greece or an exhibition about the Islamic world or an exhibition about the Middle Ages. So I’ve always been trying to find a balance.

That said, I had a clear mandate to expand the modern and contemporary program, so I was putting resources there. Under the leadership of Gary Tinterow, the previous department head, a number of initiatives had already been taken. For example: expanding the roof garden program or bringing in a number of high-profile exhibitions into the pipeline. When Gary went to Houston to run the museum there, I brought in Sheena Wagstaff, who had been number two to Nick Serota at the Tate. And with Sheena, we worked to envision a future program, to evolve a collective program, and to expand the staff of her department.

That sort of activity in a competitive institution like the Met breeds rivalry and a lot of chatter. But I believed and I continue to believe that that is an important investment both in the original vision of the Met and in its future vitality. I think if you stop collecting, you run the danger of becoming a dusty institution. In a sense, that’s what the Met was fighting against back in the 1950s and the 1960s.

AF: Was there any time when you sat down and said “Gosh, if I’d only gotten an MBA rather than studying tapestries, this might be a lot easier”?

TC: [Laughs] It’s a complex place and I was dependent on the advice and support that I had. And as the years have gone by I was learning rapidly on the job. I was fortunate to become the director when Emily Rafferty was the president; she had been at the museum for a long time, had great experience and a very experienced staff under her. So I had the opportunity to come up to speed under her. And then, as the years have gone by, I’ve done my best to bring in strong people who would give me good advice. Obviously, when Emily retired, I worked very closely with the board to choose her successor, Dan Weiss. And it was with Dan, in fact, that I worked very closely on the whole financial restructuring that we were talking about just now.

AF: One of the departments that you invested in heavily and tried to champion as a way forwards for the Met, but also which has drawn some of the greatest scrutiny in the past months, is the digital department. I was wondering if you could outline your high-level strategy and any particular initiatives that you thought were successful in the Met’s expansion into the digital realm.

TC: Sure. Again, when I was appointed director, I was given a very clear mandate by the board to expand the Met’s digital activity. It was clearly the zeitgeist. The iPhone was invented in 2007 and was just one manifestation of the many innovations that were being made in that sector. So I think I saw it as a very exciting moment for us to use the digital realm to expand our audiences and to reach out, not just locally, but nationally and internationally. I think we’ve had really a three-pronged strategy.

One has been to get the collections online. When I became director there were something like 23 different databases across the museum, some of which had been very inadequately populated with information. They didn’t speak to one another. In many respects they conflicted. So we amalgamated all of those resources into a single collections database and a huge amount of progress has been made in getting those collections online.

A second leg of the strategy was to create cross-department publications that would give different audiences different points of engagement with the collections. My predecessor had started something called the Timeline of Art History, which was a sort of history of art told through the lens of our collections, our precursor in a way to the British Museum’s History of the World in 100 Objects except we were doing it with thousands of objects. That has always been a centerpiece to me in our cross-collection strategy and we’ve invested in it and relaunched it twice in the last eight years. But we’ve also created other points of contact. For example, the series called The Artist Project, where we got artists to talk about works that were meaningful to them, another series called Met Kids where we had kids interviewing members of staff, obviously aimed at an audience of teenagers.

The third leg of the strategy evolved under a head of the department called Sree Sreenivasan, who really brought fresh thinking to our social media engagement and got the Met and its staff really thinking about Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and so on, again as ways of reaching out, finding new points of entry, new footholds for different audiences. What’s been amazing to me is that some of our crustiest curators are now busy blogging or are practically writing their next catalogues on Instagram. It’s been a very invigorating process for all of us.

AF: Much of the art world can be a bit on the back foot about investing in going online, which can be expensive. Do you think some of the pushback that you received throughout that process, do you think any of that reticence is structural and generational or were there other factors at play?

TC: You put your finger on it. I think there is an element of generational reaction. A cultural institution like the Met has got to be online. So we had to invest in getting the collections online and exploring different ways to connect with the audiences. A certain amount has been said in the press implying gross over-investment. But, in fact, much of the funding for those projects came from the Bloomberg Foundation. And when people talk about the large numbers of people in the digital department, it's again somewhat misleading because these are collection data entry people, these are our video programmers, these are people who are running the systems in the galleries. Many of these people were existing staff, so I think there have been some misleading things said in the press. We invested hard. We created a significant presence. I think now, going forward, my successor will need to think carefully about priorities. But I think we have a real toehold in this area. And I think we did exactly what needed to happen.

AF: I recall one of your major initiatives in coming on as director was also to diversify the audience in terms of socio-economic status, race, regions which they were coming out of. Was the digital effort also aimed at that diversification effort or moreso for people visiting the museum?

TC: I think digitization is one of the factors that has contributed to our success in building audience, but I think there are others. We have a very active multi-cultural audience development initiative that organizes different kinds of activities to try and reach out to different demographics, different communities throughout the city. We have a very active education department, which is doing similar things with teenagers and school kids. We have a very successful program called Teens Take the Met where, literally, we bus teenagers in from schools right across the district. Last time we had something like 4,000 kids in the Met one Friday night. It’s a way for them to find that the Met is a safe, comfortable, happy place, to normalize it as an activity for them.

We’ve also done a lot of thinking just about audience needs because as we’ve grown our audience, the knowledge that that audience comes to the museum with is very varied. Some people know very little about history, very little about art, very little about museums like the Met. It’s not necessarily a comfortable experience for people. We did an audience engagement study back in 2013, really trying to dig down and understand what people like and what people find alienating. One of the most interesting things that actually came out of that study, and almost shocking to me, was that something like 40 percent of our first-time visitors left feeling somewhat uncomfortable with the Met experience.

AF: Were there specific initiatives that came out of that, then?

TC: Absolutely. We did a rebranding of the museum that launched back in spring 2016 and it was quite controversial at the time, but it came out of a lot of analysis and understanding that we had a lot of legacy systems—different fonts, different logos, different symbols—that for many people were very conflicting. Really, what we were trying to do in that rebranding was to get the Met out of the way between the visitor and the artwork. We wanted it to be as simple as possible. For example, the old icon was a stylized Renaissance “M,” which, for people who know the Met well, they loved it. But what we found was if you go five or six blocks down the street, many people literally didn’t know what it meant. And by the time you get out into the country at large: no brand recognition at all. That’s the reason we made the decision to go from that symbol to a word icon “the Met,” and that’s just one example among a larger branding process of how we were trying to simplify things.

AF: Looking back at your entire tenure both as a curator and then as director of the Met, if you had to name three things that you’re most proud of and then one you wish hadn’t happened, what would those be?

TC: Three things I’m most proud of: I went to the Met as a curator because I saw it as a place where I could do really ambitious things in my field, tapestries. And I will always look back with huge pride on the two very big tapestry exhibitions that I organized. I’m very proud that, when I became director, I retained an environment in which the curators could dream big. We’ve done some very ambitious loan shows. We’ve continued to invest in the scholarship of our curators. I’m proud of that.

I’m very proud of having expanded the audiences as significantly as we have done. It’s not just about numbers, it’s that I believe that everyone who comes to the Met, ideally, is having a meaningful experience. It’s not just metrics for metrics’ sake. I really believe that we have, both physically and online, we are reaching out with our mission and engaging people with art.

I’m proud of the way that I think we’ve gone back to the original vision of an encyclopedic museum and questioned that. There are areas of great strength, especially in the European collections, and we’ve built there. But we’ve also brought new focus to new areas that had been neglected, like Latin America—we have a number of new curators working in the Latin American sphere; we’ve started collecting there quite interestingly. Native American: I’m just thrilled that Chuck and Valerie Diker have made the decision to gift their very significant Native American collection to the Met. And, of course, in modern and contemporary. I really believe that an encyclopedic museum should have a full, meaningful engagement with the modern era. And I think that we’ve brought new energy there.

What do I regret? You know, the museum is complex, the finances are complex, and I wish that, with hindsight, that we had started the financial restructuring at an earlier point. But then, of course, hindsight is always 20/20, and turning an institution like the Met around is very much like turning a tanker in the ocean. We got going. It took time. And the museum is now heading in a very positive direction. I feel that, as I step away, I’m leaving an institution that is in a very strong place, leading institutions across the world.

AF: Looking at that wider institutional landscape, what do you think the biggest challenges facing your colleagues leading major museums, whether encyclopedic museums or other foundational institutions to various regions’ cultural identities, are at the moment?

TC: Looking forward, clearly financing is a big factor. As we’ve all grown, as our ambitions have evolved, we’ve all become bigger and bigger businesses. The old funding sources that many of us have depended upon are in some cases falling away. Wealth is concentrated in new areas. So cultural institutions across the country are having to be quite creative in how they’re reaching out to new donors. But, with that comes new creativity. I think the other thing that’s very exciting is that, as we’re ever more connected and the world is shrinking in many respects, we’re all becoming part of a tighter network. In the past, the paradigm was that Western institutions just collected from the rest of the world. But with new cultural institutions developing in Latin America in Africa, across Europe, in Asia, the opportunities to collect on the scale that we used to collect are diminishing. But I think there are new opportunities to be part of an international partnership. One of the things I did at the Met was really push hard on developing relationships with international peers.

AF: And lastly, before we go, the Times published another article earlier this week looking at possible futures for the Met, talking to around 20 cultural influencers about what they hoped to see. And so, I thought we could go through four or five of those at relatively rapid place to get a reality check from the man who has had to make these calls for the past decade.

TC: Sure.

AF: Okay. First up from Paul D. Miller aka DJ Spooky, who writes that “The average person looks at a painting for six seconds.” He was recalling the Pokemon Go fad last summer where you had kids running around to try to catch ‘em all. He says, “They weren’t there for six seconds; they were there for minutes,” and is wondering what museums could do with augmented reality to keep people looking at the objects before them.

TC: Well, I love the idea of using digital to reach people, especially younger audiences. We’ve recently put all of our images of all of our collections out on open access. I’d love people to be creating video games, exploratory tours of the Met for themselves and for the audiences they’re engaging with. I’d love the Met to be an exploratory, innovative center in the digital realm.

AF: Simon Doonan writes, “If the Met could extend into Central Park with an outdoor sculpture garden, it could truly become a destination.”

TC: We’ve had discussions with the park over the years about the possibility of putting sculptures in the park. And I think the longstanding approach is that in fact the plants and the trees are the sculptures in the park. Maybe future generations will have a different take on that balance.

AF: The restaurateur Bill Telepan writes, “My first suggestion is: Get a good food program there, whether it’s a fancy, high-end place or not.” He’s even gone as far to say that he’d do it if the Met would ask him.

TC: [Laughs] Well, there’s a pretty good restaurant at the moment called the Members Dining Room, which is actually now open to all members of the public. We’re constantly looking at how we can improve the food offerings across the museum.

AF: The artist Judith Bernstein asks if there could be a more “conscious effort to feature more art by women and to take more chances.” She says, “They shouldn’t wait until someone has been around for 20 years.”

TC: All for future leadership. Sheena Wagstaff has brought in a very active program related to women artists. In the last year, we’ve had Cornelia Parker on the roof. We’ve Lygia Pape and Marisa Merz, Nasreen Mohamedi. So, I think that those who want to see more art by women are going to be well served by that program.

AF: And finally, from Hank Willis Thomas: Due to museums’ key role in setting a narrative around a particular region, he was wondering why Egypt is placed outside of the rest of the African collections. He says, “I think Egypt’s in Africa. If the Met’s trying to be objective, objectively Egypt should be closer to Africa.”

TC: [Laughs] Well, maybe you can do that in a virtual reality museum. The museum has evolved over the years in response to opportunities in the marketplace, to the leadership within the museum and to the generosity of different donors. And we’re always recalibrating in one way or another. But, physically, to take entire collections from one quarter of the museum to another would be hugely expensive. But, who knows, you know? One masterplan was completed under my watch. We’ve laid the foundations for a new masterplan. So it’s exciting to think what is going to happen in the next 50 years.

AF: Well, thank you so much for your time, Tom. We’ll look forward to hearing what you get up to next.

This podcast is hosted by Artsy Executive Editor Alexander Forbes, joined for this edition by Thomas P. Campbell. It was produced by Editorial Associate Abigail Cain.

Cover Image: Courtesy of Thomas P. Campbell.

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