#thats all i feel like writing for now but trust me i have Many Thoughts about him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

finalgirlbee · 1 year

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i wanted to write some of my personal headcanons for nitros oxide! mostly for my own reference but they're under the cut if anyone else wants to read about him!

- He has anisocoria; his pupils are 2 different sizes due to a head injury sustained when he was a teen (car accident)

- Is bioluminescent (i hc that all gasmoxians are)

- His father was also a very famous, well-known racer who passed away in a horrific accident on live TV when Oxide was a young teenager

- His father always wanted him to race and Oxide idolized him even though behind closed doors he could be a bit of a nasty drunk

- Has his father's nasty ego, too

- Oxide's entire identity lies within racing and being the greatest because that's all his father made him feel he was good for aka "if you're not the best, you're the worst/if you ain't first, you're last" hdfjlkjfshkgfds

- His mother on the other hand wasn't the most responsible parent and enjoyed partying most nights when Oxide's father was still alive

- However after he died it shook up her sense of reality and she had a major shift where she became very fearful and overprotective of Oxide. She didn't want him to race anymore but he always found ways around it

- This caused her to be very angry with him almost constantly and lash out at him a lot from her fear of losing him the same way she lost her husband, a way to protect herself from any pain

- Oxide left home as soon as he could and worked as a deliveryboy for nuclear pizza for a while, while he couchsurfed at friends' places until he could afford a place of his own

- He was very active in the underground street racing community as an older teen/young adult, which he attempted to keep a secret but was ultimately arrested a few times for it lol

- He got off easy every time due to his family name. officers who were big fans of his dad would let him go with a slap on the wrist (racing is very very big in gasmoxia, conparable to how football is in the US but even bigger lol)

- Friends of his late father greatly helped him in training/practicing on real tracks, and helped him quickly gain the attention of a sponsor. he was able to rise through the ranks relatively fast with the help of his name and a bit of natural skill

- Has probably done Every Drug

- Drinks way too many energy drinks (but that's already a given lol) It's to a point that they no longer do much of anything for him but the taste is comforting so he still drinks them

- Liked to party a lot in his younger days and has probably done some things he's not proud of but now that he's older he's calmed down a lot in terms of that lol

- Is prone to headaches, especially when he's stressed

- He can't cook for shit, probably has lived most of his life surviving on fast food and takeout (that's not to say he doesn't enjoy fine dining, though.) He has a fast metabolism so he can pretty much eat whatever he wants but it's a mystery as to where it goes

- Probably got burnt out over the years, racing became too normal and routine and boring but he doesnt know what else to do with himself plus he still very much prides himself on being one of the best. he wants to retire somewhat but is hesitant to give it up because he doesn't quite know who he even is without the fame, titles, and trophies

#thats all i feel like writing for now but trust me i have Many Thoughts about him #good lord hes practically my oc at this point in terms of characterization/backstory lmfao #crash bandicoot #nitros oxide

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mystellenia · 19 days

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ellie with a clumsy gf ୨ৎ

summary: how ellie cares for her clumsy girlfriend

content: nothing thats nsfw!! just ellie being a cutie concerned gf

notes: answer to this req!! SHES SO PUPU BABYGIRL IN THAT PIC I WANNA BITE HER JFWIBFJWKRJR. she's actually so beautiful i can't. entirely unrelated: idk how i feel about this... but i’m trying not to be like EW I HATE THIS FUCK THIS ITS SO BAD. like i dont even feel like that but we already know how i feel about this formatting. its growing on me tho

(wc 0.39k) so short i know guys i gotta dip my feet

constantly laughing but also concerned at how you manage to trip and bump and bruise yourself up on literal air

in apocalypse au, she's always been very aware of her surroundings bc of patrol and combat and stuff so she tries to keep you out of the way of things that she knows you'll bump into

always has an ice pack chilled and ready to go in the freezer in case you bump yourself real hard and it's sore because ice helps bumps not bruise right when you get them (looking at you guys clumsy ladies write that one down)

always warns you about things right as they're happening since you get into things SO FAST

like just as you're bumping into something or dropping an item she's blurting out, "wait! there's- a shirt on the floor"/"remember- that the washing machine door is open"/"baby, you're gonna drop that- just... like you did just now. you okay?"

always asks what you did to get a new bruise. she'll notice a new one and joke, "oh, what did you do this time?" and you'll respond, "i may have walked into the dishwasher while the door was down... but this one doesn't hurt that bad 😁" it's become like a little game

she's become sooo desensitized to any bump or bang sound in the house bc she knows its just you. not to say she doesn't care about you getting hurt--she immediately throws out a "you good?!" or "you need me?"--she just knows you know what to do: ice pack or heat compress. it's routine now.

read that low vitamin c levels make you bruise easily, so always has vitamin c rich snacks stocked up. oranges and strawberries and other fruits, always ready!

she's so stupid in love that she'll cut the fruits up into hearts or try nd make the most simple little animals with them from some mother of 3's tutorial on instagram reels and genuinely gets upset when she can't recreate them.

^ like you notice her absolutely maiming some apples and ask, "ummm why are you slicing and dicing that poor apple?" and she'll mumble, "it's supposed to be a stupid crab."

and for my ladies with darker skin where bruises aren't as visible or even just pale skin that just doesn't bruise easily, she's still just as concerned. and since there is no visible warning of a sore spot, she's hurriedly apologizing after pressing on a sore spot or laying on a tender patch.

@abbysbug @picklesarenice69

hello to my clitter critters. soooooooo erm sorry about going like basically inactive for like 2 weeks i got into the fight of a lifetime with my mother 😊 we still beefing 😊 dw tho when she's old and wrinkly i’ll have power of attorney and trust the cord WILL be plugged.

like i’m joking but as of now that bitch is an opp fr

but anywhoooo i’m back. and my dinosaur of a laptop had a health scare and i thought i was gonna have to plan a funeral for her but she went to the doctor (apple store) and she's all better. idk how it still works so well now bc my mom got this when obama was still president 😆 don't y'all worry tho this motherboard does nothing but purr we chillin (the fan turns on whenever there are too many graphics moving)

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signedkoko · 4 months

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Ah I jsut wanted to say that I ADORE how you write HH Mammon- he is everything to me <3

So long as your up for it, I was hoping you could write Mammon with an s/o who casually refers to him as their husband (they’re not married)? Maybe they’re talking to someone while Mammon’s in the room and he overhears them say “yeah! My husband was saying…” like it’s the most normal thing in the world!

Thank you so much and have a wonderful day/night!!!

Mammon X Reader [Romantic]

In which you refer to Mammon as your husband, despite the fact that you aren't married. Genderneutral reader.

You and Mammon have been together for a couple years now

You'd met all the milestones, like moving in together, nicknames, and for him personally, not being exploited!

It was a feat no one had ever performed—to gain the sin of greed's trust—and it was one you were extremely proud of

Mammon never said much about it, since he never really thought about partners and just took you partially for granted

You were his, and in some way, he viewed you as a soulmate

Like, yeah? Of course you're with him? It was meant to be. Duh.

Even so, asking you out was already something that took almost a year for him, so a proposal felt so far away that he hadn't really considered it

It's not like there was a 'good age' to propose, nor did the two of you have mutual friends that married, so it was far out of his peripherals

At least, that was the case until one evening when you were at the clown pageant rehearsals, talking to some of the performers

Fizzarolli and you had a bit of rapport, and the imp always tried to make small talk with you

Mammon wasn't really listening, just looking around, when he overheard the two of you speaking

" So. What's it like to date Mammon? Not to intrude! I just can't really imagine him...like that. "

" Not intruding! Well, he's not your average guy, but he's a lovely husband. He always... "

Your voice faded out as he took in the word husband, and his jaw dropped

Fuck, yeah, okay, husband? Had he proposed in his sleep?

No way, you didn't have a ring, and he would never skimp out on a ring for you

Then he felt a strange guilt

He hurriedly vanished back to his office, marching back and forth, muttering out his thoughts

He hadn't even thought about it, but clearly you had

What if you were getting sick of him not asking? How could he have glossed over something so important to you?

Planning for a proposal begins then, as busy as he is with the pageant, you take a priority in his life

Might even call up Lucifer just to ask about spouse-having

Author's Note - Omg, thank you so much for the compliments! I feel like its a necessity because I have so many requests for him that its one of my auto recommended tags LMAO Thank you so much for requesting! I answered this so fast sorry if thats scary 🥂

#koko writez #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #hazbin hotel x reader #helluva boss x reader #reader insert #x reader #mammon #mammon x reader

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peachyloveswriting · 1 year

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Hi there! I was just wondering if i could request headcanons for knives and what he looks for in a partner (not that he would actively look but what would make him fall for the reader) and also what would make him and smile and laugh? I feel like he has the cutest laugh and we all know how beautiful his smile is!

If youre not comfortable with that, thats totally fine! Thank you though!

Yo. I'm doing smaller requests for now bc we went to a family thing today and that burns me out apparently. I'll write the other stuff later. For now I'm rolling with headcanons.

What makes you happy? --- Millions knives

SUMMARY: Headcanons of what knives wants in a relationship and what makes him happy.

To Knives, honesty and loyalty are two of his biggest needs. To be honest with him is to always speak the truth, how you feel, what you think, if he scares you... He wants to know it all and he wants to know it's the truth. Being loyal to him is for you to never mistreat him, it's not about following orders and it's not following in blind trust. Loyalty is to stay by his side, confide in him about your problems, being able to disagree with him and have your own thoughts. He doesn't want a mindless slave, he already has plenty of those, he just wants someone who's not afraid to say what they think.

He likes someone who's independent and doesn't need someone else to care for them. That includes basic needs. Knives likes to have peace of mind that you can care for yourself if he's not there. That makes his day to day much easier not having to watch someone constantly. Knives is however, a thorough enjoyer of keeping his partner company wherever they go. Sometimes, he doesn't want space and others he does. If his partner can understand that then it works out perfectly in the end.

Playing piano is just one of his past times. Though it's often you'll find yourself accompanying him while he plays these well drawn out tunes. This piqued your interest and you wanted to know how to play. Knives was against it at first but later on allowed you to watch him play and copy after him. He likes watching you try and piece together what he shows you and he even watches you try to play when you think he's not around. He enjoys the fact that you take interest in his hobbies.

Knives loves it when someone can sit down and listen to him rant for hours on end without cutting the conversation short or not really listening. You like listening to him talk and watching you intently stare at him when he rants makes his heart swell. Even better than this he loves in-depth conversations, not many are or have been close enough for such conversations to happen so any one who slips into this with ease is of interest.

When you actively try to get to know him, he feels seen or validated by the fact that you want to know him for who he really is and not who he comes off to be. Just mindless chatter while he talks about himself makes him feel content enough to place his trust in them. It takes a lot to fully earn his trust and it seems like there's so many barriers to break down but it's really a compliment to his personality.

When you finally learn to play a song for him on the piano, he's over the moon. To have someone else composing even an already written song for him is so personal. Just watching you intently stare at the keys as you focus is enough to make a smile break out onto his face.

Your curiosity at times makes him chuckle or laugh. You're so persistent to learn about all these different things that he tells you or shows you that it's entertaining. You show a willingness to learn and he loves that about you.

Vash isn't very big on physical touch however he loves it whenever you play with his hair. He likes how you'll braid random strands together for him to untangle later. He smiles every time he sees one, it reminds him of how gentle your hands work away at his head.

Though knives doesn't have to eat he still sits with you while you eat dinner anyways. He likes to sit and listen to you ramble on about your day, it makes him happy when you get all excited to talk about something.

Even though he doesn't need sleep either he lets you use his room for sleeping quarters. Oftentimes he'll lay beside you as you fall asleep the tips of your fingers tracing the design over his skin tight suit. He loves the way your touch makes him feel giddy inside.

When you compliment him he absolutely adores it and chases the attention. His all time favorite is your Nickname for him. "Angel, my angel," there are a few others but hearing you say that makes his heart soar in adoration.

On days where Knives is In a bad mood, he tends to lash out at anyone near him, you included. Yet even in those moments you treat him with care and patience. It reminds him that he doesn't always have to be so violent, that there's a part of him that can relax in your presence.

The others that work beneath him don't exactly like you, this leads to interesting situations. So when you absolutely chew one of them out for trying to do something he can't help but smile with pride.

He enjoys listening to your fixations and generally will get you something to do with that when the chance presents itself to him, he absolutely loves seeing you so excited and happy, it's contagious.

#millions knives x you #millions knives x reader #knives x reader #millions knives #trigun x reader #trigun stampede x reader

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ikkosu · 7 days

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more selkie stuff. thought abt it some more, i think prowl taking your coat works best with a certain foundation. like if he knew you as a 'human' first, getting attached and then found out about the coat. if he did take it he would try to convince himself hes in the right, that keeping you by his side is how he can look after you best. the fact that he'd be lonely without you has nothing to do with it of course.

maybe the selkie doesn't even want to leave him but the fact they have the ability to concerns him, bc yknow. trust issues ahoy

it feels less believable for him to take the coat if he knew them in seal form first. in my mind he would see that as the 'default' state, so to keep them as a human he would have to be really emotionally invested + paranoid/overprotective.

i prefer meeting as a selkie (and fluff over angst)so i'm gonna shelve the coat taking idea in my mind for now

on that note, i thought of something i like more for human prowl and selkie: wearing his clothes! its one of my fav tropes and we miss out on that when he's a bot lol. and the added layer of a selkie, who could view sharing clothes as trusting even if they know it likely doesn't mean the same to a human. first offers you something of his to wear bc you can just walk around naked. then he tries to get you your own clothes but u only want his. making a nest out of his clothes and him grumbling bc he just ironed those shirts dammit.

wait i just realized i switched from him stealing your clothes to you stealing prowls lmao. - gourmet anon

ah yes, I actually did more research on selkie (WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE SITE THATS RELIABLE???) and uh the entire folklore was,,, kind of grim? 😭 The underlying message especially,,,,was king of grim and I would have to agree choosing fluff over angst 😌 the coat thing was kind of angsty and I would imagine prowl doing a hefty amount of research for his conclusions to come to that (hiding the cloak deliberately so selkie comes after him)

I've had enough of giving prowl angst lmao (maybe that coat thing could have other uses...)

But gosh!!

Prowl meeting a seal, unaware of it's true form. It's big eyes and doleful look adorable to the many — but to him, it's an obstacle because currently the seal is trying to drag him into the water, flapping it's tail to splash the at him and he's all but clawing himself to the shore.

Oh but the stealing clothes idea was so adorable!!! Him buying a full set of clothes only for you to strip out of it later because it didn't have his scent and he finds you smooshed in his closet. Prowl is at his wits end.....

I should also start writing and stop procrastinating 😔✊ you are giving me such good ideas. Giving myself a deadline till the end of may for this mermay fic 😮‍💨

#officer prowl and selkie #transformers #maccadam #transformers x reader #transformers idw #ikkoasks #idw prowl #prowl x reader #gourmet anon cooks

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ditto-not-on-discord · 1 month

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in less than 60 days, It will have been a year since blaseball was suddenly canceled.

TRUST ME, THE OTHER TAGS WILL MAKE SENSE IN A LITTLE WHILE.

Blaseball, in its 2.867 Years of existence, was many things. but the easiest way to describe it is "Good". It had a very incredible fanbase that still kind of mourns the game to this day. the devs had a panel at GDC in 2022. It was nominated for a Nebula Award for Best Game Writing in 2021 and also the "Best Video Game" at The Hugo Awards in 2021. It won the Nuovo Award at the independent games festival in 2021. people could observe the games happening, gamble fake money, and also affect how the story and the characters would develop at certain points. It was a great game, that sadly was canceled because the cost that was needed to run the game was too high for the team at the game band to support, at least according to wikipedia. It being dead is also a major part in proving that there is no justice in the universe because of it not being here, yet SILENT HILL ASCENSION SOMEHOW HASN'T KICKED THE BUCKET YET.

Now for all Silent Hill fans who have blocked that game out of their memory, and for everyone who has no idea what Silent Hill Ascension IS, here is a refresher:

"Released" on October 31st, 2023 (which was already a bad day for me, but I am NOT getting into that), Silent Hill Ascension is an interactive thing (listen its not a tv show, and it isnt a video game. the developers say that its "the best of both", but lets be honest its more of the WORST of both) that is canon to the silent hill franchise.

people can observe the games happening, gamble fake money, and also affect how the story and the characters would develop at certain points. Yes, I know this sounds EXACTLY the same as what I described blaseball as, but thats because I purposefully oversimplified both games a bit. Silent Hill Ascencion has bland writing (so bland people even thought it was AI), all the mechanical depth of a bad mobile game, and all the horrible microtransactions (loot boxes, a season pass, and something else I will get into later) as well. Blaseball, as previously mentioned, was nominated for several story writing awards, had enough mechanical depth that some fans created a SCIENTIFIC COLLECTIVE TO ANALYZE IT, and at the time it died, NEVER had any micro transactions or a fee to enter.

Remember how both games use fake money? In Blaseball, those who were in the 1% of money havers had all their coins distributed to the other players. In Silent Hill Ascension, you can literally just buy so many "Influence Points" that you can manipulate the entire fucking story, and you can hoard them for as long as you fucking want. Also, Something else I want to mention: Literally nobody talks about Silent Hill Ascension because its so bad. hell, and those that do talk about it DON'T have anything good to say. very few people play it, and there are a shit ton of bots that the devs added so it feels like more people are actually watching. Silent Hill Ascension has reached lower lows than blaseball ever did, and is less than half a year old. So why the hell is it still alive, when a game that did its entire stick better is fucking dead. THE ONLY REASON I CAN THINK OF FOR IT BEING ALIVE IS BECAUSE ITS SUPPORTED BY FUCKING KONAMI.

There is no justice in the world.

#blaseball #silent hill #thoughts #confusion #video games

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juscallmemise · 7 months

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Mental Health Matters (shirt by Hamp)

Letter to my younger self

Hey little black girl..Naw scratch that..Hey little black Queen because thats what you are even if you don’t know it yet. Its so much i want to say to you we’ve been through soooo much nd what i wouldn’t give to know what i know now looking back at myself. One thing i want to help you understand is that you are enough no matter what people say. I know mommy always told us that words can’t hurt us but the trust is they may not hurt the outside but they do a bang up job on the heart nd thats ok we get through it. If you ask me its the silences nd the numbness that hurts worse, see with words they may hurt your feelings nd sometimes tear your heart but you can heal a broken heart its the silences you cant make since of. I know your young nd theres a lot you dont understand well let me tell you even when you make it to be my age there will still be things that will put your brain in knots, just know baby girl you are your own worst enemy. Don’t get trapped so far in your feelings that you drown cause i’ve made so many mistakes that could have cost us our life. Its gets dark in my thoughts nd sometimes tears nd words dont get it all out nd i felt i couldnt talk any more because i didnt think anyone would understand nd the first time it felt so good it warmed the places that were the coldest nd after i always felt like all the pain was out. It all started with a dark room and pair of scissors that cut through my jeans i never meant to hurt us, i just needed to feel something that would end the numb feeling i was feeling at the time. No one ever noticed the scars until one of your boyfriends felt them in the middle of the night while you were sleeping nd asked you the next morning believing that they were marks left there by another man. After a couple more times of cutting ourself we started writing nd keeping a dump Journal where we say whatever it is we felt throughout the day. The days seemed to get better but the nights still felt ice cold nd you would lay in a bed with a man that you couldnt even look at because in his mind you weren’t nothing but a women that would take whatever it was he throw your way nd the truth is you did you let him think you were weak nd that you couldnt live without him but he must have forgot that i am a child of God nd a very strong believer that whatever God puts you in he can take you out of...pain don’t last forever baby girl nd we are safely working on ourself.

Sincerely,

This is Mise

Support my little cousin and raise awareness for mental health https://forms.gle/X1brXuiSL8S4eYcM7

#me

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aggieslittleslut · 3 months

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Housewife in the basement

Warnings: smut, roughtop!Agatha, mommy kink, very light pet play, fem!reader , established relationship, sex magic,

18+ only

Authors note:

This is my first one yall, chronically horny reading smut for years but here I am taking a stab at it myself. Let me know if you guys would be interested in a part 2. Because I’m enjoying writing the smut I’d want to read

Your life has certainly gotten quite strange since you followed your witch girlfriend into town. “Westview” is what they call it but it feels more akin to the thunder dome.There has been so much you have not been able to understand since you fell into the world of magic, and what ever the fuck is happening in this town flew right over your head so you stay at home, away from outside, and people. Agatha had warned you that the witch you now know as Wanda may notice you and force you under your spell, which of course, you did not want to happen. So you stay inside of Agathas home, well you think its Agathas home… there are many questionable rooms that suggest a man lives here but you always brush it off as a weird design mistake. You did not mind being the house wife though, if you squinted it was almost like Agatha was coming home from work and not gaslighting her neighbour so she can absorb her power. Agatha has always been like this though, she makes it hard to stay fully committed but at the end of the night she always has you on your knees begging, its a kind of love you feel as if can never break.

You sit at the edge of the couch, mug in your hand thinking over and over again about what you saw in the basement today. It all happened so fast, you were making sandwiches for Wanda’s kids and then all of a sudden you see Wanda in the centre of the basement bound by Agatha’s power. No matter how hard you tried, it was just that moment playing over and over in your head, seeing Wanda tied up and tossed around like a rag doll sent waves of heat through your body. You went over this scenario in your head thousands of times before you were snapped out of it by the sudden opening of a door. In walks your girlfriend- but wait she’s not wearing her big “final boss bitch” outfit like you had planned.

“Aggie?! What happened” you ran over to her as she slammed the door and dropped the purse you did not remember her owning.

“I got completely fucked by the Scarlett Witch thats what” She replies and with a wave of her hand her outfit changes from the suburban neighbour look she was wearing to the outfit she had on earlier in the day except her hair is a wavy mess and fingers stained with the aftermath of the dark hold.

She slumped on the couch “I almost fucking had her too… damn me and my villainous monologues”. You sit down beside her trying to gauge the damage and what has happened.

“Are you hurt? If she hurt you I swear to-“ “What? What on earth could you possibly do to her? I got my ass beat into the ground. You couldn’t hurt a fucking fly.” She snaps. Taken aback by her anger you scoot over on the couch, her grimence softens and she replies in a lighter tone

“no, im not hurt… well other than my largely inflated ego…” . “So… she just let you go? Just like that?” You respond. “No… it was humiliating she thinks she trapped me as Agnes again don't know how she thought that would work but…” she pauses and lightly laughs “she just doesn’t know how to use all that power” she sighs and slumps into the couch.

“So… now what?” You ask cautiously “I guess we leave?” “Oh no darling Wanda will be back trust me, I’m just forced to play the waiting game” You place a kiss on her forehead as you stand up, on the way to get some more tea, but a purple wall of magic appears in front of you blocking your path.

“Tsk tsk tsk did I give you permission to leave?” Agatha scoffs. You sigh and roll your eyes “I am just going to get some more tea Aggie”. Agatha snaps her fingers and instantly your cup is refilled and one appears in her hand for herself.

“No princess, you are going to sit down and tell me why your mind is being so loud”. Damn, nothing ever gets past her. Agatha stays out of your mind because she does care about your privacy but when you feel an emotion strongly, she says she can always hear the muffled thoughts. Not clearly enough to pick out exactly what you are thinking but enough to know something is distracting you from the conversation.

“Sorry Aggs, I'm listening I promise, I guess my mind is running from the fight you had with Wanda today and all..” you try to play it off as worry. Suddenly your body is immobilized and you feel a tightness around your throat.

“Now what did we say about lying” Agatha’s voice has that tone that makes your knees weak, the one reserved for the bedroom. At that moment there was no more playing it off, she already knew what was happening. She begins to pace around your body and takes the mug out of your hand.

“Believe me angel, we probably have decades before Wanda shows back up for me to tell you about the fight- but suddenly I’m interested in something else” she smirks, releasing you from the magic. Instantly she holds out her hand and your underwear appears in it. You have now become increasingly aware of its absence against your sweatpants. Your breath hitches as she runs her blackened fingers over the underwear, picking up all the slick your dripping wet core had left.

“My my my well what do we have here” she smirks. She pushes you onto the couch and straddles your hips. You can feel the blood rushing between your legs as you whine softly.

“Wanna tell me what happened here” she purred dangling the wet underwear between the two of you. You moan, unable to form words and she grasps your chin firmly “you answer me when I address you” she snapped. You flinched

“I…. I saw you… in the basement… with Wanda” you reply basically out of breath. Agatha cocks an eyebrow and replies “you saw me in the basement with wanda?- OH” her voice deepens as she realizes exactly what in the basement elicited that reaction. She grinds into your lap very lightly teasing where you need her most and then releases standing up tossing your underwear to the side.

“You’ve got quite the dirty mind, I'll give you that” she looks over your body again, enjoying the state she has left you in. She starts pacing back and forth and you can feel her eyes raking over your body

“My little innocent angel sat here all hot and bothered just because little ol’ me tossed Wanda around a little. I knew you liked it rough but sweetheart, this is quite the new shade” she claps her hands and all of a sudden you are both standing in the middle of her basement. Agatha circles around you slowly eying you up and down. Far too distracted to notice her precious darkhold is missing. You snap out of the haze Agatha has you in when you notice the absence of the tomb and attempt to speak up

“Agatha your-“ You are cut off with a slap to the face as Agatha looms over you. The familiar sting in your face sends an ache down to your core. “You don’t get to call me that… not here” she snarls. Fine, I guess the darkhold can wait you thought, far too preoccupied with what is happening in front of you to have a second thought. You stare off into her eyes, struggling to form sentences when you feel her magic slowly lock onto your body then roughly throw you into a wall. Your body floats back to the centre of the room in front of Agatha, completely out of breath and bound just like Wanda was hours before.

“Oh Angel, this is your last warning, I wont be so nice next time, you understand me bunny?” She coos, running her fingers down the side of your face.

“Yes mommy” you speak softy. She grips your hair tight as you wince in pain “speak up” she growls into your ear. “Yes mommy” you moan, feeling the inside of your pants coat with your arousal.

“Good girl” she purs as she starts to poke at your clothing. “Now this is far too much clothes for you don’t you think bunny?” She cocks an eyebrow inches from your face. With a snap of her fingers your clothing is entirely gone, left naked and bound in front of your girlfriend. She stands back to admire her toy, running her fingers along the various bite marks she had left all over your chest. Your breath hitches as she runs over one of your sensitive nipples and you let out a small moan at the attention. She closes the distance between the two of you and attacks your mouth with pure lust. You groan as her tongue dominates your mouth, her hands slowly moving up your chest and gripping your tits hard. You grind your legs together desperate for some kind of friction until Agatha forces your legs apart, this time with separate threads of magic. She breaks from the kiss tugging on your nipples as she lets go.

“See the difference here is that Wanda was a good girl and didn’t try to get pleasure before she earned it” Agatha cooed, hand brushing down your face. You wimper desperate for some attention “please mommy… please make me feel good…” you beg. Agatha stands back and laughs

“Oh darling, its quite adorable to think you have earned that”! She releases you suddenly from the magic binding and you fall to the floor in a thump.

“You have to show mommy how much you want this cupcake” she waves her hands forming a magical collar around your neck with a leash attached. You try to hold back a moan when she pulls tightly on the leash in her hand. She snaps her hands and a bed appears behind her and her own clothes disappear. “Now be a good pet and make me cum.”

#agatha harkness smut #agatha harkness x fem!reader #agatha harkness lesbian #Agatha harkness mommy

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autisticlancemcclain · 11 months

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fic rec friday 28

welcome to the twenty-eighth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. sunflower [re] by xintong

On the morning of their first summer back on Earth, Lance receives a gift of sunflowers. A confession, a rejection, and the passage of time, all leading to the one person who's always been there for him.

this is one of those fics that just kind of remakes a part of you a little. im gonna go with the bookmark i did when i first read it:

screaming and losing my mind bc there were so many fucking moments man. so many. i get jealous too. all the time. anyone that looks at you. still the other half of his wings. i would wait all my lifetimes for you even if you never looked my way. you’re everything. the beginning and end of time. you have wings love. just like an angel. i want to make this good for you. for us. i want it to be good for you too. why. because i dream of you. every night. you’re the devil. who you adore. yes. yes. will you go somewhere with me. anywhere. i never wrote before i met you. you gave me something to write about. they don’t need to say it. i love you i love you i love you. it’s in everything they do.

anyways read this fic.

2. where you go by @taylortot

post s8. keith visits lance when he can, but his work with the blade keeps him out in space for months at a time, and he is tired of leaving lance behind.

okay i know this is yet another rec from me thats rambly and pretentious but soft fics Make me feel that way so here u go. everything about this is the most important thing in the world. as per usual with taylortot. my breath is unsteady and my hands are shaky because they just fucking love each other!!! so much!!!! it’s about the DEVOTION. i’m tired of leaving you. i don’t want to do it anymore. it’s about wanting to be with you. that’s it? that’s it. of course i’ll go with you. i thought you’d never ask. i should have asked before. that was never a choice. (YOU were never a choice). i knew you would come back to me. it’s about the DEVOTION is about the LOVE it’s about the i know you i love you i trust you there’s no one i want but you and you are everything to me. it’s about everything i do for my future i do for our future. it’s about i love you even though words are hard to come by and nothing i could say could ever properly tell you how much you mean to me. GOD

3. a reverence reserved for lovers by @softsatoru [EXPLICIT]

“Hello, my love.” They were far past the point of timidity, and Keith had long since gotten used to the pet names and sappy moments. Hell, Keith had been all about pet names and sappy moments as they were reciting their vows. It was so easy now, just like everything was with them. It had been for years and years, but especially now. This moment, this night, was so easy. It was so right.

Lance grinned and dropped his head back against the pillows with a deep, content sigh. He kept one hand threaded through Keith’s hair and slapped the other over his eyes. The gold band around his ring finger glinted in the low, warm light of their bedroom.

“Ew,” Lance mumbled, trying to contain his smile. “We’re married.” Keith chuckled and pulled himself off his husband. Lance’s hand fell from his hair and dropped down to his bare back. Long, slender fingers pressed into his skin, as if to hold him in place. Keith settled himself above Lance and placed soft kisses on his knuckles and the back of his hand. He gripped Lance’s wrist and tugged it away from his face. Lance’s eyes were clenched shut, and he scrunched up his nose in playful defiance. Keith’s lips fell atop each eyelid, the tip of his nose, and both cheeks.

“Yeah,” Keith agreed. He nosed at Lance’s jaw, dipping down to kiss down his neck. “So gross.” He smirked to himself before licking a wide stripe up the side of Lance’s face.

“Hey!” Lance yelped at him, playfully slapping his back, but he couldn’t help but laugh. “Gross! You’re proving my point.”

i fucking love this fic it 100% lives up to its name. it IS a reverence reserved to lovers and they are. they are so sweet and in love and devoted, man, its just everything. you just want to read it and weep

4. the dark, wide open by @taylortot

Lance flushes clear up to his hairline, the heat of it frying his brain. “Are there any other incorrect observations you wanna make? Or can we go to bed?”

Keith misses nothing, tracking the warmth blooming all over Lance’s face with keen eyes. “None that you’d admit to,” he says in a murmur.

Lance and Keith share a bed.

i think ive mentioned the devotion scrapbook before, but i dont know if ive mentioned that like a quarter of all the screenshots i have are taylortot. they kill it with the dialogue every single time, the devotion bleeds through, the words unsaid speak louder than the words. kills me.

5. this is your holy by littleghost

"He read a book of poems back in high school, and one line always hit him like a sucker punch to the throat. For you, love is like a religion. It’s terrifying. Keith looks at Lance in the pilot’s seat, Lance in the dining room, Lance on the bridge and thinks his love is too big for his body." // Keith falls in love with a boy.

okay i know i recced this before in a random post but i am doing it again. religious imagery always gets to me, and the idea of finding divinity in the mundane and not even finding it but realising that it IS the divine, the bum’s as holy as the seraphim the madman is holy as you my soul are holy! that’s from ginsberg’s footnote to howl btw, which is my favourite poem in the world and exactly what i hear chanted in my as i read it

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

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howelljenkins · 4 months

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hi this is so random but i need to wax poetic. you have no obligation to reply to this. also i do not mean this in a parasocial way at ALL lmao i recognize that idk you trust. i first found ur blog in 2020 as a eighth grader in lockdown that was completely lost. i had lost my uncle to covid during that time and went from being a stellar student to receding into my shell and watching my grades tank. my shit home situation and undiagnosed depression led to me sinking into any form of escapism possible, mainly thru the form of books. i was super obsessed with perry johnson LMAO at the time and had all the time in the world to look into the fandom. this was around the time the unnamed author was just, like, violently and belligerently racist and scathing to any fans that questioned otherwise. being a tumblrina, i went to this site to see people comment on this, only to find you and ur mutuals were the only people openly discussing how he was just plain vile. i remember how sickened i felt seeing how you and other people of color were getting doxxed and threatened for pointing out what i thought was incredibly obvious. as a rlly sheltered person of color, this was the first time it struck me that the world was lying about how much they were actually willing to stick up for us, as before that i was just stupidly optimistic. anyways bc of that i started checking ur blog like EVERYDAY because of how much your words resonated with me. i was in complete awe of just how witty you were, and how you took no shit from people. granted this was a defense mechanism from crazy ass white fandom bitches but it was still weirdly inspiring. i still remember seeing u pull out the yale trap card so often and being like, oh shit this girl is something else lol thats hysterical. for the rest of high school i would keep up to date with u and specifically ur writing and poetry on promethes. kal i need you to realize your words actually rearranged my brain. the poems about your great grandfather, your mother, your pos friend, of being a horror, to love and to be loved is rest, everything EVERYTHING is etched into my memory. i really feel like i stumbled onto the modern fucking plato or something. anyways my critical thinking skills and love of poetry both are strongly influenced by you. i used to be the kind of person that hated everything and couldnt bear the thought of tolerating this world for another second. but your unyielding positivity and optimism, and insistence that kindness being the more difficult choice is inherently more radical really changed me. ik u didnt invent that or yadda yadda but u really made it seem real. im still learning to take each day slower, to breathe in a little deeper, but the beauty of so many things i previously dismissed is so obvious to me now. that post you made about you and ur mutuals educating a whole generation is so true lol. so just thank you. honestly thank u thank u thank you from the bottom of my heart. im a senior now who just submitted my yale application tonight and thought of you and im a little drunk right now so i think thats why i wrote this whole ass essay but just. like idk. u changed me and idek know you. i made my friend who got into princeton a trap card bc urs was so inspiring lol. anyways i truly hope you have a peaceful happy life and a good night. your soul is really such a beautiful thing and you deserve the world pls never settle for anything less

idc if it’s parasocial i love u and want the best for u and know u will go far and i almost doxxed myself by telling u the city i live in so u could look me up if you’re ever here lol. ik im a stranger or whatever but im proud of u idc ur like my adopted little sibling now. also @taumoeba yale card inspiring generations

#answered #anonymous #save #sometimes i think im like another pretentious tumblrite but then im like if i inspired this many intelligent capable kids #then i must be doing something right #love wins

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mephoj · 10 days

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what did you think of the iii finale?

SO sorry i meant to answer asks sooner but i just kept putting it off to better word my thoughts later. so um. Well

ill be very brutally honest, i thought the iii finale was stupid as all hell. i don't have the right words right now to fully elaborate on the specific parts i hated (maybe if i remember ill add onto this in a reblog,) but everything about it felt so unnecessarily rushed and nothing like the energy of the original show that i loved so much. and im not saying this to be a hater !!! trust me, i avoided speaking on the finale for a while on purpose, in case i just needed time to process it (i was iffy on the alien plot in ii14 on the first watch too but now i LOVE it, so yknow that can happen with sudden new twists and characters sometimes)

i really really wanted to like it, but as it simmered in my head more, and the more i rewatched it, the more ridiculous and out of place it all felt. they weren't just throwing spaghetti at the wall until it stuck at this point, they threw out the whole damn pot and wasted it all. (does that even make sense?)

most of all, it just felt so deeply disappointing. it did have some interesting parts (like the reference to the s1 finale or opening more on mephone issues) but they did them all so strangely, all i can think about is all the ways it could've been better. and thats honestly way more frustrating than just being plain bad.

so many characters were filed down and reduced to clean, perfect Nice Ones by the end just so they could have a sweet feel-good ending which really doesn't fit into any of the rest of the current show's tone, especially if they plan to connect it back to s2. on top of that, it all felt so undeserved and empty. there was hardly any real conflict, emotional or otherwise lasting any longer than 5 seconds at a time throughout the entire season for the character's rest by the end to truly feel cathartic. it felt more like those shallow kids movie endings where everyone dances together and everythings fine. and sure, i know kids are the primary AE audience, but so much of iii just felt near insulting how much the the characters would talk down and overexplain every single emotion they felt and end every conflict with a hug or whatever. its like watching petty toddler fights lmao

this is more than i was expecting to write and ill admit its mostly about my issues with how they wrote mephone by the end but whatever lol i do not like most of iii . sorry 👍

#meeple.ask #iii neg #ii neg #i do not like iii. canon iii didnt happen I wrote it now. its mephoj now. take my hand #also i will never forgive ae for what they did to fantube #fantube was the most weird nerd maybe romantic maybe platonic maybe qpps Secret Fourth Thing #and they made them into a nuclear cishetallo family #test tube is just Motherly Woman Character TM now they took her insane autistic scientist swag from her #iii3 was like. the last good iii ep i think. its my favorite still #iii4/overthinkers makes me so autistically mad i wanna chew my arm off #for numerous reasons #ALSO THE FUCKIG. INNER FLAME SHIT WITH SILVER SPOON GAH #ITS SO STUPID #THEY BUILT ALL THAT UP FOR WHAT !!!!!!#the most anticlimactic fight scene ive ever seen in any media #its so sucks. help.

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ariicandy · 11 months

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Congratulations on 90 followers!! Let's gooo!!! Also I saw you're doing event because of it and it's SO CUTE! So of course I thought I might drop something yay So can I get fluff prompt 3 (“I didn’t know I could love someone this much.”) for An or Rui from Project Sekai? It's alright if you don't feel like it so just take care of yourself there <3

“I didn’t know I could love someone this much.”

Tyyy bee!! I love writing fluff I sometimes get distracted from it and just giggle ykk? Hope you get me but hopefully it’s to your liking <33

Rui ☆ Kamishiro

Oh rui never knew how you made him fall for you so much ever since you have stick to him during his hardest times. You never believe and went with the rumors of him during middle school being a loner, a weirdo, an outcast. You saw him as himself, and he’s grateful for that. He grew a bound with you that he is very grateful to have like with nene. You are a close friend of his like nene and mizuki, one of the few people he can trust and with many more now. Maybe it was your kindness and loyalty he fell for you, or maybe it’s just you. You always routed for him whenever he made a new invention and hyped him up to show people even when people are spectacle on him. That was definitely the moment he fell in love with you. Everyday whenever he makes his new inventions for a new wxs show, it always reminds him of you helping build the robots or fixing it a bit. He has to stop what he’s doing and cover his face to hide his embarrassment even tho he’s alone. The thought of you always gets him excited and happy but also butterflies, he tries to ignore them so much but how can he when it’s about you?

Oh he never knew how his silly crush on you could make him feel embarrassed, “I didn’t know I could love someone this much.”

An ☆ Shiraishi

Oh how you made an go crazy whenever you are nearby whenever she’s at or whenever someone brings up your name, she finds herself happily rambling about you and makes the person she’s talking to laugh from this. It was only til this, it hit her with her crush with you. Her friends(akito) tease her by her sudden realization of her crush on you, why did it just hit her? Maybe it could be cause she was in denial from all the times you cheered her on whenever she used to performed in the streets. And now, cheer her on and motivating her to sing with her new band/group?? friends, helping her whenever she’s down or not feeling the best. She really appreciates these moments you do this. In her eyes, it strengthens the bound, the friendship you guys have strengthens just by being with each other. Who wouldn’t fall in love with your best friend that had been with you since the very start of your successful dream passion?? An did thats for sure.

“I didn’t know I could love someone this much.” An thought in her mind still thinking about you and the memories together supposedly trying to keep her mind off of something.

I did both rui n an cause I really liked this prompt hope u enjoyed ^^

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mobiused · 22 days

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follow-up on the lyrics!

i'll begin this by saying that so many times k-pop songs lyrics are a bit non-sensical (maybe this is a particular of title tracks as i don't usually go search for the translations of b-sides from other groups unless i'm very interested in that particular song) so my bar for good k-pop lyrics is LOW low

so i'm proud of the loona girls that they managed to pull-off lyrics that actually make sense (points down for Yeojin's Moonlight on this one tho. i do think she managed to put in some beautiful imagery and sentences in there - idk how they sound in korean tho :/ - but as a all, and with a bit more of experience, maybe she'll get more cohesive! and i did like that the lyrics followed a logical line of someone reaching enlightenment and i guess self-confidence? but i did need her commentary to understand the message. i do think she has LOTS of potential, and want her to move out of the moon imagery)

as for vivi's he said i said, it was fine! cute! i can't actually giving an unbiased opinion bc i thought (and was very enthusiastic about) that it was going to be a song about gossiping? and when i wasn't i was sooo disappointed, this was totally my fault tho, but i can't look at those lyrics without thinking how nice it would be for songs to move out of the love theme for a bit

gowon's (and yves'!) truman show.... nice! a breakup song, and once again we get to see yves' lyricism. i only pity that this means we still don't have a solo-written gowon song! unfortunately i haven't been able to check out truman show (...the movie) yet so i don't really know how the lyrics connect with it.......

hyunjin's starlight! NOW we are getting to the good parts. hyunjin had already proved herself with day by day, in which she made a pretty nice use out of the structure of the song and her vocabulary and symbolism to write very good lyrics! she seems to particularly enjoy those feelings of nostalgia mixed with hope for better days. can't wait to see what she writes out of those themes, but this only cemented my trust in her lyricism. i'll add that i was very surprised when the loossemble track list came out and she had written dbd by herself, as i previously had no idea she even was interested in lyric writting and suddenly here she is with a honestly beautiful song thats a message to fans and her members....wow

getting to the end, hyeju's girl's night.... now THAT's the gem of the crown for me. not only is it a understandable and easy to get message (low bar!) but it connected to sensitive's message and to the values the loossemble girls have said again and again they want to partake in their songs.... not only that, it's catchy and SO hyeju. love the "ooh i wanna fight" in the chorus particularly. definetely she was the one who surprised me the most in a very very good way. i can't wait to see the girls growing more confident and to diversify their topics in the lyrics

Sorry for leaving this so long but I loved reading this!! Thank u so much sharing your thoughts and I'm excited for more songs by them

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pigeonbboi · 2 years

Text

okay I am really autistic and think abt them all the time so

golden wind theories/ hcs abt the main gangs mental illnesses

okay I dont think we talk about how mista probably has ocd enough. we see that he has intrusive thoughts/ obsessions and while we don’t see him have a lot of obvious compulsions but he often acts in a way that may seem irrational to some and has strict routines and fears something will go wrong when they are interrupted. he counts things obsessively, has rituals, etc etc.

short aside: pls don't think I am glorifying/ romanticizing anything I talk abt here these are theories and if anything I say is inaccurate pls lemme know!! I did research abt what I talk abt here but these are my own personal theories/ observations/ how I relate to them :)

I see a lot of people hc narancia as having ADHD but I am here to further my everyone in bucci gang has autism agenda. /hj I am autistic and relate to him. how he has trouble reading peoples intentions and trusts too easily is smth I really relate too! That's not to say he couldn't also have ADHD but if you read him as autistic it adds a lot of depth to his backstory <:) he's also highly empathetic and struggles regulating his emotions.

god sorry this is cringe

oh obviously he's also dyslexic :)

moving on this is obvious and more a plea to people to do research and write realistic recovery for leone being an alcoholic.

I would also love to see more people talking about Bruno. Specifically within the context of bruabba and his savior complex, I can't help but think he would be a little bitter than he is always the one saving people and that he's not allowed to be weak despite all the trauma he went through at a young age and joining the mafia at 14. It would definitely create more vulnerability issues to play parent to not only three traumatized children but also your so, the one who you are meant to feel safest with. I think a lot of Bruno's savior complex issues stems from him thinking that the crimes he has committed in his past and continues to commit as part of his role within Passione make him a bad person, and to atone for these sins he "saves" others. You can see how angry he is when he takes Narancia to the hospital and then he says he also wants to join the gang. To Bruno this is akin to spitting in his face. 'You would throw away the second chance I gave you to make the same mistakes I did?' idk I love him and so many people treat him as if he is perfect and I think he deserves to be complex and maybe resent his family for treating him as a therapist and savior and not always like a flawed human being. basically please let us have more dysfunctional bruabba family I need them to live.

I could write a whole essay on fugo so I shall save him for another time and because I don't trust my own intelligence to talk about him. fugo peak.

A lot of dude bros get mad at Giorno's "lack of personality" as if it doesn't stem directly from him being neglected as a child. He was punished for showing normal emotions as a kid so he hides them as he gets older. He could also totally be read as autistic and thats a hc that holds a special place in my heart. Opposed to Narancia, who is on the high empathy end of the spectrum, Gio, partly as a response to how he was raised, has lower empathy which also effects how he communicates with others. I think he is such a complex character and wish more people devoted time to analyzing him rather than writing him of as boring.

Thats all I have the mental space to write about for write now but I care these idiots so much and please tell me what you think!! Bucci gang 4 eva.

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terraliensvent · 3 months

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I would like to read your thoughts about pluralkit. For me I’ve noticed that there are some individuals that will say wild things and use plural kit to send the messages. I blocked one person in the server so far cause I just found them to be a bit much.

i got another ask wanting to know my thoughts on pluralkit, so ill indulge

buckle up bitches cause this is gonna be a LONG one

for starters, i hate pluralkit because you cant block the bot accounts it uses so if i want to block an annoying sys, i cant! definitely can see it as a way to circumvent blocks

second, it just further adds to the people who will use it to roleplay that they have alters

(i actually have a lot to say here and did research so please look at the read more if youre interested)

im gonna be honest, i do not think the people who use pluralkit have DID, and i absolutely dont believe a large majority of the people on toyhouse and in cs spaces who say they have DID. some of you might hate me for that opinion and thats fine, but truthfully, i think that way too many people use it as a way to roleplay.

im gonna try my best to be gentle with how i present my thoughts, but i know that there are some people (primarily young people who believe they have alters and refuse to change their minds— a well known symptom of being young) who will flame me for just daring to not believe them, and my thoughts on this go beyond just terraliens and cs spaces in general, terraliens is just a REALLY good example of this kind of community.

i think that society has tried to medicalize behaviors to a startling degree. when people said “normalize neurodivergence” we flew a bit past the mark and now the self-diagnosis crowd will see a person with an unusually strong passion for a hobby and say “they must have autism”

in this type of world, kids wont say “i love Blorbo from Show I Like, i wanna pretend to be them on the internet” and then disclose to people that, yes, its just a roleplay and im doing it for fun; instead its, “i feel a strong connection to Blorbo so i must have DID and theyre one of my alters. this isnt something im doing for fun, i have this medical condition and you cannot tell me otherwise”

the issue with DID kids is that they see that yes, things like fictives and animal alters are possible, but VERY unlikely within a disorder that is already highly unlikely, and they say, well i must fit inside of that 0.000001%, and then other people say the same thing and now we have multiple people saying they have DID within a server of only 3000 people. they will say “you dont know anything about DID,” but then will say they have 3 fictive alters from a piece of media that came out less than 5 years ago. they’ll say “well, diagnostic criteria includes self-assessment therefore that should be enough to decide that i have DID

in the time it’s taken me to write up this response, i actually went looking for research. Specifically i wanted to find something that predated 2020 because that was the time the “fake disorder” phenomenon really hit its peak and i didnt want potential false cases and misinformation that the current day DID crowd spreads to skew the data.

What i found was this medical journal published in May 2017 (so 3 years pre-2020, and less than 7 years old as of today. this document is less than 10 years old so dont even try to tell me its outdated), the authors of the journal are accredited to the psychology and psychiatry departments of the university school of medicine in Turkey, University of Canterbury in New Zealand, and University of Pretoria in South Africa. SO, suffice to say im gonna trust these people’s research more than a 15 year old on discord.

im gonna summarize a few points because, as a medical journal it is totally overblown with professional jargon and i consider myself to have good ability to convert flowery language to plain speak

The first segment i wanna highlight is in the introduction of the document, “

Yet, when all these systems come together to underpin and maintain a person’s identity, and dissociation occurs at this (identity/personality) level, it creates dissociative identities. Here, separate organized systems of functioning, with their own unique perspective on the world and who they are, appear to co-exist within the individual. Each of these identities has their own first-person perspective or experience of self-consciousness. Consequently, each of these identities reports their own subjective experiences and memories, their own sense of agency and will, and their own perspective on who they are. They often report being unaware of other identities or report amnesia for experiences that presumably occurred when other identities were engaging in executive actions.

The document states that the different “alters” present more as separate identities, where its different iterations of the same person who will have their own perspective of the world (each has their own “I” self). each iteration has its own memories and, the most important part, each iteration appears to be unaware of or have amnesia surrounding the other iterations. this one paragraph dismantles several of the talking points that DID kids use, it goes against the idea that people can co-front, it goes against the idea of having detailed in depth personas for each of your alters as so many of these people do. and we arent even past the INTRODUCTION

funnily enough, despite my effort to look for a document pre 2020 to mitigate false cases, this document actually mentions the DID faker crowd: “

The so-called sociocognitive model of DID (e.g., Lynn et al) went beyond recognizing the influence of sociocognitive factors on the development and phenomenology of DID. This model suggested that media reports, a high level of social knowledge about DID, influential and suggestive therapists, as well as patients’ own suggestibility, cognitive distortions and fantasy proneness all led patients to believe (wrongly) that they had dissociative identities. This view of DID markedly contrasts with the post-traumatic model of DID (outlined earlier), which proposes that dissociative identities are the primary results of early trauma and the relational, cognitive, emotional, and neurobiological consequences of it (along with other related factors as outlined in this paper) rather than primarily the result of social and cognitive forces. Moreover, the presence of sociocognitive forces does not provide any proof for iatrogenesis. Yet, sociocognitive and trauma models are not entirely contradictory, as the trauma model, e.g., argues that social and cultural factors influence the presentation, but not typically the creation, of dissociative identities. In fact, societal conditions themselves may also be the source of traumatic antecedents as observed in oppressive communities and traditions.

this post is getting crazy long, so im just gonna start wrapping it up here

i think that what ive stated here links with my previous ask about physical disabilities, disabilities and mental disorders arent really things to have a party over. they shouldnt be demonized of course, but we shouldnt be pretending like its some phenomenal thing to have a disorder thats based on severe complex trauma faced as a child. the part pluralkit plays in all of this is that it just further feeds the crowd and deludes these people into thinking their DID is real

im not going to believe any 15 year old furry when they publicly announce they have DID to a discord server of over 3,000, and that is a consequence of the sheer volume of people that fake having the disorder and continue to fake it with their stupid roleplay bots

obviously, i dont go out of my way to debate or mess with them, because at the end of the day its kids being stupid and cringe, but god the ramifications of these kids playing pretend with disorders is gonna be horrible. its already having really bad effects on autistic adults trying to operate in society as normal people and not be infantilized

i just hope this trend passes quickly and soon, and PLEASE let me block those stupid bot accounts i dont want to interact with any “system” that uses pluralkit

#terraliens #closed species #closed species vent #terralien #vent #mod rambles #syscourse

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ravenquing · 2 months

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14 year old me deserved better

we shouldn't have been bullied, our parents shouldn't have emotionally neglected us, we shouldn't have been allowed free reign on the internet

i have irreversible trauma all because my parents didn't understand the difference between giving shelter & food to someone and real parenting

i felt abandoned and unloved and pushed away and hated

i felt utterly worthless to, and unwanted by, the very people who had fought to have me

my parents went through IVF to have me, you know, and yet my whole life I've never really felt loved or wanted by them

i ended up so alone and scared i fell into an older person's trap and was hurt in ways that i didn't understand back then

i felt so broken and discarded, like i truly had nothing left to give to anyone else

it really fucked me up

i understand how this all happened and it sickens me

i hate that some parents hate their children and hurt them internationally, i hate that some parents don't know love and therefore can't give it to their own children in the future

i hate that people refuse to accept that girls can be evil and predatory, i hate that we treat victims as criminals even if they "followed every rule"

its no wonder i gave up on my education in the end

its no wonder i stopped living

im stuck and I feel helpless

i was talking to people, I was getting help, I was making progress (and technically i still am but not in ways that truly help in the long run) but it got too overwhelming and i just fucking shut down again

i feel trapped in a body that doesn't belong to me

it never did and never will

i feel trapped in a cycle of anger and sadness and sickness and exhaustion

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i feel so fucking stuck

so fucking done

i woke up at 6am today and i couldn't fall back asleep

i trued writing it off, literally by writing fanfiction, and I've refreshed tumblr and twitter so many times since I woke up that in kind of sick of them

its now 8am and I feel dead

but not energy wise

just emotionally unwound

I'll probably feel better after i have some water and talk to my boyfriend, knowing me

but i wanted to talk about how just fucked everything feels

i feel like a vase someone smashed into smithereens and that was put back together with paper mache and string

her name kills me almost every time I see or hear it now

i think i might hate myself less than her these days, honestly

she stole my innocence and my trust and my childish love

she robbed me of a colour, of a book series, of a movie, of a flower and of so much more

she probably doesn't even remember me anymore, if she's still alive after everything

i don't know what I'd prefer

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would i rather she got help and found love and happiness?

would i rather the opposite?

i feel too tired to care

she's not the last, nor am i certain she was truly the first

but she ruined me in ways nobody else could dream to

she left a sickness in my veins that i cant get rid of

its almost become lovely

i would miss it if it were gone

the hate is ugly and hisses, but i take comfort in its heat

maybe i am broken, maybe she broke me, maybe

i woke up today with terrible thoughts of things i dont want to do to myself or to others

thats fucked up

i can't remember if i was always like this or if she did this

maybe its both

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all i know is that im tired

i want to stop hurting

i want to stop being scared

i want to stop being angry

i want to stop being sad

i want to stop being so tired

i just want to live and love

i love people, i do

i hate feeling such strong hatred that im not so sure is even really my own

i just want to be happy

i feel sick

#im safe #i just need to vent #already calling my boyfriend #please don't worry #just brain busy must yell #cw whatever the fuck this is #how do i tag this shit #triggering content #is this the ocd or the trauma? is it both? (:#vent #aaaaaaaaaa #cw child neglect #cw intrusive thoughts #cw grooming #i guess??? feels wrong to me but i think??#im so fucking tired #will probably delete later

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